#they just make jokes about stuff and Don't Think and then Don't Care or Say sorry

[captainsamuelmorrigan]

Poolverine NSFW [mentions & talking about sex acts]

Logan isn't exactly 'secretive' about his sex life. He just thinks everyone is a little too blasé about revealing details about their private life. Call him old-fashioned, but he is perfectly happy to keep his experiences between him and his lovers.

Of course, Wade has to poke the bear, or rather, the Wolverine. He's desperate to know what over 200 years of trudging through the world as a hunka-hunka burning love produces in the bumping uglies department. What kind of kinky shenanigans could a mutant Edward Scissorhands get up to? And that healing factor? That meant all-nighters to him.

"Peanut, have you ever heard of 'pegging?'" Wade leans over the couch, encroaching Logan's personal space in a way that would be concerning if Althea hadn't made a rule about drawing blood in the tiny apartment.

Logan nods, not looking up from his book. "Yeah."

Wade fist pumps. "Someone in some universe owes someone five bucks for that one. Hell yeah, feminist king. Have you ever tried it?"

"Why do you care?" He licks his finger before turning to the next page.

"I'm curious like a cat, Wolvie-bear. Except satisfaction has nothing to do with me coming back. Who was the lucky girl?"

"I'm going to stop talking now. I suggest you do too." Logan remarks with a flash of his middle claw.

Several days pass before Wade brings up something like that again. Waltzing into Logan's room, an interdimensional add-on that was part of the perks from the TVA.

"So, Babygirl, do you pitch or catch?" Wade mimes the baseball gestures. "Are you more of a gun or a holster? Gifted or receiver? One or a zer-"

"Depends on the person."

"Ooooh~, look at you using gender-neutral language. What makes you decide?"

Logan closes his laptop with a sigh. "Bub, listen, I really don't talk about this stuff with people I'm not sleeping with. It's nothing personal, I just really prefer not to get a reputation."

"So if I blow you, I can ask about the past of the X Mansion pass around party bottom? Deal." Wade starts in on Logan dramatically.

"I'm not that easy, Bub. We may have had some moments in the car, but I'm not a cheap date. You haven't even told me about your past."

"I've joked about Scout Master Kevin many times!" Wade flops onto the bed, jostling Logan a bit.

"That shit doesn't count, and you know it. You haven't mentioned anything to me that wasn't horribly traumatic. I'm starting to think you don't even like sex." He teases lightly.

Wade shouts. "How dare you! Vanessa and I had a great sex life." He drives his pointer finger into Logan's chest.

Logan bats it away, rolling his eyes. "I never hear about it."

"Well, that's..."

He looks at Wade, meeting his eyes. "Bub, I'm perfectly happy to talk about this kind of thing, but I need you to start taking it seriously. I'm not entirely sure you have taken anything seriously, but I'd like to know what you're into in a way that isn't you joking about mortal wounds giving you a stiffy."

"That one is only half a joke." Wade mumbles, smiling nervously at him.

"After the Honda, I know, Bub."

They begin to have more serious conversations over the next few weeks. Wade opens up about some of the things he's done, with Vanessa, past girls, and even a few guys. It takes a while of Wade being vulnerable, for real this time, but eventually, he starts to get some information out of the Wolverine.

Wade sidles up to Logan on the couch. "Okay, so, who introduced you to pegging? I have to know? I told you about Vanessa wanting to try it out." He waits with baited breath, hoping he's done enough to earn Logan's trust on this.

Logan raises an eyebrow. "Clarification, are we talking strictly about a cis woman using a prosthetic, or are we including trans women using their own?"

"Great question, let's say the store-bought kind."

"I think I heard about it from a couple of bra-burning girls in the 70s? Tried it out with one of them, probably around 78'. It was pretty okay. I think it got a lot better around the early aughts."

"And Jean?"

"Oh, you wanted specifics? Not there yet, Bub." He pats Wade's leg before getting up to go to the kitchen. His hips swinging just a bit more to add a sassy emphasis.

"Logie-bear! Wolvie! Peanut! C'moooonn!! I've been a good boy!" He begs.

Wade begins to plan date nights. Logan said he wasn't a cheap date, so Wade's going to make sure he feels respected. Wade even breaks out the second-cheapest wine from the nearest liquor store. The good stuff. He makes a full meal twice a week. He even brings home some yellow roses for Logan.

One night, over dressed-up ramen, Logan looks at Wade with something hungry in his eyes.

"Jean used to peg me while Scott watched. It was a whole thing."

"You're fucking kidding."

"Nah, I'd take it, then he'd take it from both of us. Plus, with Jean's powers..." He whistles. "We'd all feel what the others were feeling. It was some of the best sex I've ever had."

Wade barks out a laugh, shaking his head. "Are the rumors true? Were you really doing everyone on the team?"

Logan smirks. "Well, there were teenagers on the team, so obviously not everyone, but it was a pretty good possibility if they liked men."

Wade squeals like a teenage girl, lightly kicking his feet before leaning in closer. "And what about Ororo? That must've been crazy."

Logan shrugged. "She didn't like having her private life gossiped about, so we're gonna skip that one, Bub."

Wade nods. "Kurt? Hank? Anyone else?"

Logan thinks for a moment. "Kurt was a bit young for me. Hank was a little stuck up, but if we both had a few drinks in us, he was likely to want some action. They all..." He pauses, that deep frown that furrowed his fuzzy brow taking over his expression, something internally catching his attention. "Well, y'know."

Wade's shoulders sag as the weight of the loss that this Logan had suffered pulled at him. "Oh man, Logan, I'm so sorry."

Logan shakes his head, getting up to go to the kitchen and grabbing a beer, ending that conversation. He stays quiet, with that far away look in his eye. He goes to bed early. Wade worries late into the night. If he still had hair, he swears most of it would've been pulled out by morning.

The next day, Wade makes breakfast. Plenty of greasy sausage, just like they both liked it. Eggs were placed in such a way that the sausage smiled up at a groggy Wolverine. "Morning Sunshine, the Earth says, 'Hello!'"

Logan hums in acknowledgment.

"I was thinking about our conversation from last night." Wade worries the hem on his 'Suck the Chef' apron between his fingers. "I... I'm sorry if I brought up anything too painful. Really, I am. We don't have to talk about your sex life anymore if you don't want to."

"That wasn't your fault." Logan puts his silverware down, wiping his mouth before looking up at Wade. "I wanted to tell you."

"You said you didn't usually talk about your sex life to people you weren't bumpin-"

"If you call it 'bumping uglies' one more time, I'm going to break Althea's 'no blood' rule, I swear to God." He flashes his slowly protruding claws at Wade.

"Noted. My point is, we're not doing anything physical, though. You said you only talked about that with people you were physical with."

Logan shrugs. "I was planning on being physical with you. I just got cold feet when I realized that would've been the first time with someone I cared about since the X-Men."

Wade slides into the chair next to Logan. "Peanut... yeah, that totally makes sense. Besides some really poor choices, you would've been my first since Vanessa."

Logan sighs. "A breakup ain't the same as dyin, Bub."

"No, not at all. I'm just saying that that was still a raw spot for me. You waited until I was ready to talk about it, and you were patient. Even though you've got the most rockin' bod I've ever seen, I'm not trying to jump your bones if you're not into it too, Wolvie. We could just be roommates forever, and that's fine." He puts his hand on Logan's shoulder.

Logan huffs out a laugh. "I'm certainly not saying never. I've got needs, Mouth."

Wade pulls his apron off his lap a bit to hide his rapidly growing erection. He squeaks out a "That's fine too," before fist pumping once again. "Also, calling me 'Mouth?' You're gonna have to do that again once sexy things have started."

Logan laughs. "It's a date."

[ghouljams]

Hey Ghoul, hope your doing well. I'm sending this in hope of some advice. You can totally ignore this if you're uncomfortable. I've gotten myself into a certain situation and I can't stop myself anymore. A few years ago I started exchanging flirty texts with this coworker/friend. We no longer work together but are still in touch, every few months we would grab dinner together (with another friend so we're never alone). The thing is he's married, and recently had his first kid. Our less than friendly interactions started when we were still working together, during his first year marriage they were having issues and he confided in me, and I was having alot of family issues and I leaned on him, and we became close. We never did anything physical, it was more like dirty jokes and occasional flirty comments back then.

Over the last few years it's escalated, I recognize he would text me whenever he was horny and always lead the conversation to suggestive texts. I never started it, but I never stop or discouraged it either.

The thing is (and it's no excuse) I'm in my 30s and I've never been in a relationship, never been the girl guys choose or wanted and am extremely lonely. I like the attention he gives me and I can't stop myself from replying or engaging with him. I want to stop, I don't want to be the other woman. I know he'll probably never leave his wife, certainly not for me.

This is probably the only male attention I've ever gotten in my life, and I know male validation isn't something I should strive for but having never received any it feels nice. It doesn't feel nice being a dirt secret.

I don't know. Thanks for reading if you got this far...I just don't know how to stop myself

Wow. This is a lot friend. I want to start by saying I think for your friend's wife's sake I think you should block him.

While you're not without blame in this situation, this man also sounds like absolute trash for letting this go on this long without stopping. He has a wife and child, and any good person would not be cheating on their partner like this. That said, you should show some compassion for not just the wife but yourself and get this man out of your life asap.

This validation and attention feels good in the moment because it's fleeting and you don't have to worry about any of the hard relationship stuff, you get the pay off of "you're hot" without any of the emotional stuff of a relationship, and as good as it feels in the short term it's not going to help you in the long run. Which you already know because you've said it doesn't feel nice being a dirty secret.

Now. It is a terrifically false statement that you have "never been the girl guys choose or want." It is an unkindness to yourself and a categorically untrue thing to say. You don't know how many people have seen you and wanted you or known you and never said anything about wanting you. And to wallow in self-pity and say "but I do, and that number is zero" is just stupid. It's stupid and it's unkind to the people that pined for you, it's also just-

like there's a measure of self-centeredness to self-loathing that I think makes people think they know other people and how they should think better than they actually do. You don't know how many people or who has loved you for 30 years, and unfortunately you probably never will, but to assume that number is zero is just statistically improbable.

I've been where you are, when you've never gotten what you think every other woman does it's intoxicating to get that male attention. You feel almost honored that you finally got cat called, that some guy is giving you attention through flirty texts, that people are liking your bikini photos, or your male friend from college is rekindling your friendship. Craving this sort of validation isn't great, but it's understandable. What I think is more important to realize is that these men don't respect you, or care for you, and are using you as a means to an end.

You should block him because you deserve better than being a dirty secret, and you should start trying to love yourself more. Just because you're not your type doesn't mean you're no one's type, and just because you've never dated doesn't mean no one has wanted to date you. Most people cannot identify when someone is flirting with them, but that doesn't mean people weren't trying.

Give yourself some credit, and this guy's wife some peace of mind.

[r3d-ca9]

OHG HI HI HELLO HELLO

1. Because of Bloodwing and Talon, I usually associate him with vultures!! Something like a bearded vulture, usually. Or other birds of prey.

2. I'd make him a necklace or draw him something!! He's not used to receiving gifts, and isn't too picky, so he'd like pretty much anything I got for him. But a handmade item would mean a LOT more to him, for sure.

3. Exploring Pandora, poking around for secrets and loot. Although if we don't have the energy for that, nothing beats catching up on some drama shows. 😫

4. Y'know.....we uh. Don't really have a house. WHOOPS. I'm gonna say...he'd love any chores involving taking care of the birds, of course. S tier chore. And...just like me, he'd probably HATE dishes. Because dishes suck ass.

5. Oh hell yeah. Dude's basically a stunt driver. If you can successfully survive driving on Pandora for any period of time, you get an A+ from me.

6. Fuckin...hawk screech. You know, the one people always use for eagle noises, even though it's not an eagle sound LMAO.

7. He hates being online. It's stressful. It's dumb. He hates the shit other people post. BUT....maybe, yeah.

8. Mmmmmmm....I wanna say...no...I mean, maybe at some point he did? But he's too cynical for that sort of thing now. Besides...it's more satisfying to view relationships as this thing you work really hard for, rather than some magic that happens out of your control. Soulmates may not be real. But it doesn't mean love is any less powerful.

9. Super casual like, the same way I do everything LMAO. "Hey guys. This is my boyfriend. And these are his birds. Ain't that fuckin' sick? Hell yeah."

10. 👀 cough cough

11. They both seem cool and intimidating, are actually enormous nerds. 👉😎👉

12. It's a toss up between red and green!

13. Also pretty casually! Although. A bit more shy about it. They'd probably know already, or have suspicions, and then be like "I FUCKING KNEW IT"

14. Okay, see...he'd. He'd wanna say something that he thinks is cute. Which isn't a lot of things, maybe a baby bird or some shit. But the OBVIOUS answer is a skag, because I'm very dog.

15. Chocolate. Anyone who knows me at all knows that chocolate is the way to my heart. (Also jerky.)

16. We don't really do pet names? At least, I...haven't really thought of any decent ones. Probably a simple "babe", I guess?? (SORRY MORDY, THE CUTE AND CRINGE PET NAMES ARE RESERVED FOR MY IRL HUSBAND 😤😤😤)

17. 👀👀 COUGH COUGH ............ nah i'm messin', he really loves just chilling!!! Life on Pandora is chaotic, messy, and stressful...any chance to just sit and do something low-key is always appreciated.

18. Acts of service, for sure! Helping me solve problems, getting stuff for me, comforting me, he just likes checking on me and making sure I'm doing well!!

19. My winning personality 🫡

20. GRAH, I don't know. I guess he likes how resilient I can be, and how even in the face of stress and danger, I still try to crack jokes and break the tension for the benefit of those around me. He has a hard time seeing the brighter side of life sometimes, and so do I, but I'll be DAMNED if I'm just gonna sit by and let despair swallow me up.

21. Oh my HEART. I don't think he's much of an artist, but I will fold it up and keep it in my wallet forever, no matter what it looks like. <3

22. Mordy doesn't really like eating, so no. He only eats what he has to, so I would never try to snatch any snacks from him, tbh. I am actively throwing protein bars at him.

23. Lol. Red. ❤️

F/O Ask Game!!

A list of questions to answer about your f/o!! You guys can just go down the list and answer them all (I'd love to see it!!!) in a reblog, orrr you can reblog and have others ask you these questions in your inbox! Have fun!! PR.OSHI.P, NOT FOR YOU!

What animal does your f/o remind you of?

If you got your f/o a gift, what would you get them?��

What is your favorite hobby to think about doing with your f/o?

What chores would your f/o do around the house? Are there any they REALLY dislike?

Would you trust your f/o to drive a car?

What kind of ringtone or notification sound would you have for your f/o?

Would your f/o fight someone online? 

Does your f/o believe in soulmates?

How would you introduce your f/o to your friends? How do you think that would go? 

What's the first scenario that comes to your head when you think of being with your f/o?

What dynamic would you use to describe you and your f/o? 

What color do you associate with your f/o? 

How would your f/o introduce you to those they care about? How do you think that would go?

What animal do you remind your f/o of?

What would your f/o get you for Valentine's day, if anything? 

What does your f/o call you in their head? What do they call you aloud/to others?

What does your f/o like doing with you the most? 

How does your f/o show their love best? 

What's your f/o's favorite feature of yours?

What're your f/o's favorite personality traits of yours?

If your f/o drew you, how would you describe the art piece?

Does your f/o share food with you?

What color would your f/o associate you with?

What?? Who's tagging their friends again?- not me... I just really wanna see yalls answers. Formal invitation lest you become worried I don't wanna see it. @jpeg-indulgence @starshakez @moxanji-real @frankys-wife @katsenbergs-soulmate @katanahusband @fl0ralsxgar @one-winged-dreams AND LITERALLY ANYONE WHO SEES THIS.

[thepineapplegal86]

Hi, im here to say a word about the post you recently reblogged from nr1martinblackwoodhater (?)

I was about to argue with you about it but honestly you defended your opinion pretty well. Youre right, the way the story plays out is quite dependent on martin being the way he is - constantly berating himself and being insecure, the contradictions in his character etc etc.

Would you care to say more on this matter? Because im already slightly biased towards martin i cant really think of arguments portraying him in a good light (mainly bc i don't really have a strong opinion myself, and the fanon ver of him is shallow so i can't form my opinion based on that)

Sorry for sending you an entire ask on this topic

Yeah of course!! I’m glad I made some sense bc I’m very passionate about separating disliking characters’ personalities from their function as a character if that makes sense?

I think the reason I’m so passionate about Martin Blackwood specifically is because people who want him to be more likable are bypassing the point completely.

People expect a cinnamon roll stereotype of a guy, and when he diverts from that as the show continues, we find out that his reactions to the world are a result of trauma, and that he has a truckload of stuff to work through. We find out that he’s always been hiding behind this nice fluffy facade to protect himself because he’s terrified of people hating him the way his mother did.

Wanting him to be less “annoying,” self-isolating, and insecure kinda definitionally contradicts that, since they’re a direct expression of his mental state.

Self-isolation and self-hatred don’t happen in a vacuum, so we can’t see the self-sacrificing and “heroic” moments of giving himself over to the lonely for his friends without those less exciting, smaller instances of self-hatred. They’re expressed in the form of self deprecating jokes or through trying to make Jon see him as valuable with his little gestures, even though it isn’t working. I think Martin knew it probably wouldn’t work, but he felt the need to be helpful anyway because a part of him thought that he deserved to be mistreated. He didn’t grow up with the tools to communicate in a productive way because his parent didn’t allow him the space to grow in that way.

For Martin to really be bogged down by the lonely, that self isolating and “pity party” type mindset has to be rooted to his very core. That has to manifest in unpleasant and frustrating ways for it to be realistic, since the most effective form of loneliness is self-inflicted; the only way to get out of it is by doing it out of your own volition, and that motivation is being siphoned away the longer you stay in the isolated state.

Also to be totally clear, I’m sure I’m guilty of this type of bias all the time, since I think it comes pretty naturally. I’ve just dedicated more thought to this particular character than I have to others I think

Thanks for letting me rant 😂

[yoirfavpainl0ver]

Hello people of tumblr, I'm working on this g/t life series au, and have been struggling about team ups for weeks. I've thought about many interactions between them and have some specific alliances in mind, but I am at a loss for the rest.(Yes I'm asking for help again) I've got a plan layout here-

Here's a lil base thing I've been using. I've put them in rows of their sizes, I've officially made up my mind on them and would like these ones to stick.

The first row, Cleo, Etho, Ren, Grian, Lizzie, Impulse, and BigB are all just normal sized players.

Pearl, Scott, Scar, Martyn, and Tango are size shifters. I've decided on 3 types for this au. Their ability to shift is all different from their bodies' capability(?) Having said, Martyn shifts uncontrollably(only norm and small), Tango can shift norm and small he's just really bad at it and needs concentration, Scar can shift all sizes with ease, Scott can shift all sizes but needs concentration, and Pearl can shift norm and small easily.

Lastly, Joel, Bdubs, Gem, Skizz, Mumbo, and Jimmy are small. They just give the vibes, yk?

I also think ima add a boogeyman so people will die easier, new death messages? Tiny people break 1 pixel in minecraft terms at a time, a mix of realism and the game, some vore, and we can allow blood, yeah? Like actual need for bandages and passing out. Cool stuff!

-

Now for alliances.. (Don't forget their sizes)

Grian and Scar. I wanna have desertduo(pt3?) Except it's really toxic. I'm pretty on with this one.

I kinda wanted Martyn and Ren again, and I'd imagine Ren would take care of Martyn. Not sure yet tho.

Joel and Tango. My thoughts for this is that I think Joel would be smart about his allies and wanna befriend people bigger than him to stay out of trouble. Not necessarily shifters, but I feel like Tango would lie and just say he's a normal player, and then I think you can imagine how the rest would play out. So, I like this option. (Could also include some others too)

Etho and Lizzie. I'm not entirely sure, but other suggestions are definitely welcome.

I had some thoughts. Joel, Etho, and Bdubs. Etho would be taking care of em. I'm not exactly fond of this one.

Martyn and Jimmy. Yes, they did already have some team ups, but it's an option.

Maybe Skizz and Gem. Lil tiny duo.

Potential girl team up? Gem, Lizzie, Cleo, and Pearl.

There was this dumb idea for team PBJ (Pearl BigB or Bdubs and Jimmy) I don't really wanna have anyone alone, soo.. But I'm not sure about this one.

I can also say that I imagined some Lizzie and Joel drama, Etho and Tango drama aswell, oh and Scar has problems with everyone.

-

If you have any suggestions it'd be great. Alliances, enemies, scene ideas, how the world would look, what are some jokes that could go around, main things prioritized, their builds or whatever, should some be roleplaying? And in general, anything else important that I have missed or doesn't quite make sense that needs sensifying.

If you've read the whole thing, thank you. It must've been sufferable.

Farewell :>

[makiswirl]

can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest

like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!

[infizero]

stumbles out of we solved fnaf and we're not kidding covered inblood

[mint-mumbles]

Gonna use this image any time someone says something low key sexist about Sable (ie "she's showing too much skin" regarding a fucking bathing suit 😭🤦)

I don't hear you complaining about Spirit 😭

[s0ckh3adstudios]

Hey random but if there's anything I'm ever somehow being disrespectful about or saying incorrectly or doing wrong things, PLEASE let me know because chances are I have absolutely no idea. Because the last thing I want to do is something disrespectful or offensive

[timetravellingkitty]

.

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

As much as I love any life series content, ngl this whole real life thing has me just a little bit anxious for its discourse potential

I reeaallly want people to have fun with it and move on, and not turn people not taking it seriously into A Thing because it is objectively not at the same scale as any other seasons

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

this is a very venty post don't mind me :D

that nintendo direct was so horrible.

it was literally like 80 percent remakes and remasters.

never in my life have i seen an announcement video exist just to say "every game you've ever known since the 90s is being remade/remastered, sorry, we ran out of originality".

literally like all the video game market is anymore is remakes and the movie industry is just as bad.

the nso releases are fine because they're not like, remakes taking up full game slots. they're old games that are being made accessible and that's great... but there's no need to remake this many games when they can do that. remakes used to be rare. remember stuff like the wii u shop and stuff? with all the games they had on those things? now it's a tiny selection and everything else is a remake :/

also I feel like a lot of new rpgs are just like... lowkey fe knockoffs now instead of original rpgs.

i'm happy for like... two existing remakes, but one of them is mario rpg which people wanted waaaaAAAAAYYYY before the remake and remaster era, and the other is baten kaitos which im not actually happy about remaster-wise (the updated ui is trash, they took out very specific charms of the original ui), just happy that it will get more recognition/notice from people since it was never popular.

they also completely removed the english voice acting which like okay yeah it wasn't always that great but the voices fit perfectly and it wasn't as bad as fans meme on it for! it just sounded like they were talking through a tube and that was actually the worst part of it lol.

someone suggested to me that they may have just lost the data for it, but idk. i wish they'd just admit that somehow if it was the case, because it bugs me that the english audio is just completely gone when ultimately i really liked it. i wanted the game to be accessible to newer players, sure, but i also wanted the english audio there. ig that's because i grew up with it and i liked it, but it's still such a bummer for me!

paper mario being put on the nso and tyd getting a whole remaster does make me sad tho bc it feels like they're leaving the original in the dust when it was so good. if you're gonna do tyd, at least do them both.

good for innersloth though, i'm sure they never imagined being on a nintendo direct. they're the real winners here.

[kaeyapilled]

. (tw heterosexuality)

[sunlitmcgee]

can someone please tell me that the dsmp characters can all be happy and heal and live full lives without killing themsleves. pelase

[anaalnathrakhs]

.

[pixiestix0-0]

i never expected this to go outside my little shitpost bubble wow