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#they have all my memories yikes
confettikitty-23 · 1 year
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scificrows · 1 year
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Me: *always getting the The Murderbot Diaries titles mixed up and not being able to remember which one is which* Also Me: Well, Artificial Condition is obviously the one with ART in it!! 😌😌😌
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justabunchofdragons · 2 years
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o... .. .,,, ! !!! i am very happy with where i am in this moment
#listening to worst of you by maisie peters and its not even a super uplifting song .gjfkfjfk i just#remember listening to her a lot when i was playing loads of minecraft and working on my survival world#ah .2022 how i was excited for you#once again thinking of angel. my friend who. disappeared off tumblr never knew where she want#there's a screenshot of us saying 2021 will be our year if we get there. and i got there and i hope she did too#i hope she's still somewhere .safe and happy#ah. msuic <3 memories in them there is. love in them . so much#didn't keep a bullet journal this yr and i doubt i ever will again. ough so much effort. might do a minimalistic one#but making spreads n stuff is so. ough ! yikes. pretty but it takes LONG and i just don't have the time#trying to use notion (goin ok! not rly using it) trying to make a neocities (failing badly) trying to balance studies + life (not terrible)#trying trying trying. that is all. that is everything isn't it. its always that. one day i will be good! i will.#i never do new years resolutions and its silly to think abt them .a whole month before 2023 but i kinda wanna learn to crochet#and figure out the neocities thing#someone remind me to set up a wall of text. i promise not to abandon this account (i made a new one. haven't used it yet)#i promise to love everyone always (except the people beyond loving) and i promise to keep writing silly poetry#i do not promise to stop oversharing on tumblr. this is my second diary & u guys are my best friends <3#hang on to love sin and your youth <3 it'll get easier & easier & easier#i can believe we made it#chaos.txt
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daydadahlias · 2 years
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Omg yeah, subject line and the concerning extracurriculars cashton are endgame for me as well (in my mind they’re the same people, dont know if they are in your mind as well, but i love them)
They’re the main guys I’ve written that I know for sure stick it through to the end. I know they make it. And they are kind of the same guys!! I wrote CE cashton first and then that fic inspired me to write Subject Line. Ofc there are some inconsistencies between the two fics that make them kind of impossible to be set in the same universe but,,, I pretty much think they’re the same guys too. That’s why Brian’s bitchass shows up in both fics :)
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titsthedamnseason · 8 days
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GIBSIE was raped by mark? this whole time??? holy shit that actually brought me to tears. what the fuck.
#mine#boys of tommen#tw rape mention#i genuinely do not know what to say what a disturbing note to end my day on#this is so horrifying and terrible and sad#there’s so many levels and implications to this that idk what to do with#i’m so sorry gibsie for saying earlier that you did not have a good enough reason to be putting off your relationship with claire#i’m eating my words that was SO WRONG of me#also the implications of this with the dee situation….yikes#and god the fallout when lizzie learns about this. yeesh……#this is horrific in so many ways. i feel so desperately devastated for him#i already wanted to reread the series at some point but this changed EVERYTHING#i really need to experience it all again with the full context because …..#tw rape#NOW WHAT THE HELL…..#i’m so terrible because this whole time gibsie has been alluding to this deep dark backstory and saying he was broken inside and all that#and here i was like bruv it just can’t be that serious let’s move it along#BUT IT WAS IN FACT THAT SERIOUS. IT WAS SO MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING I MIGHT HAVE IMAGINED#WAS THIS BEING ALLUDED TO??#like the conversation with darren made it a lot more obvious right before the reveal but before then i was clueless#like i wanted to know about that letter SO BAD bc im like what could caoimhe have said to him why would she write him a letter#and why would he tuck it away under his bed and treasure it and read it all the time#also sorry if i misspelled her name that was my best effort from memory#i’m reeling. holy SHIT
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yueebby · 7 months
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keep dreaming! – gojo satoru
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synopsis. down bad? … it’s gojo satoru!
contents. fluff, lovesick!gojo, he basically has a wet dream of you, you wear tinted lip balm, your first kiss w him (??), suguru plays devil’s advocate
notes. remember spring days!au but can be read alone. anyways, enjoy!! I am writing this while sick (yikes). also of course this wouldn’t be canon compliant if i had not included satoru and suguru’s dynamic! I tried my best to apply their interactions during the basketball match + while theyre leaving jujutsu tech as much as i can.
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“satoru…” you murmur, looking up at him shyly. the two of you find yourselves alone in the classroom. a greedy smile plays on his lips, and you struggle to formulate words as your eyes travel from his cerulean ones to his lips. satoru can barely contain his excitement, the anticipation radiates from him like an electric charge.
“say it, [name]. tell me what you want.” he whispers back at you seductively, his eyes are spellbound onto yours. you whine before grabbing the collar of his uniform and pulling him onto you. your lips are soft, so soft. you were made for him, he’s sure, as your lips mold together. as a matter of fact, your lips are so soft that they feel eerily like his pillow–
"get up! we’re late to our mission!" suguru hits the top of satoru’s head with the spare pillow on his bed. the white haired boy immediately activates his innate technique to block his best friend’s attacks.
it was going to be a long day.
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“it’s unlike you to wake up so late.” suguru’s hands pause over the shoji door of the classroom. his concern for gojo was more important than the imminent lecture they were going to receive from yaga for their tardiness. “plus you totally sucked today.”
their mission had taken an unexpected turn for the worse when the pair had found themselves stuck in an incomplete domain. the narrow escape was only possible as a result of suguru’s quick thinking with rainbow dragon.
the bandaid on satoru’s cheek is a silent testament to the mission gone wrong.
“i’ve just been tired.” satoru mumbles quietly, heat rising to his cheeks as the memory of the dream flashes in his mind. he was too deep in thought to counter his friend’s insult.
something was definitely wrong. suguru raises his eyebrows, “and it has nothing to do with the fact that i caught you making out with your pillow?”
“i– what?” the heat has spread from his cheeks to all over his face. he hopes his sunglasses cover the blush that was blossoming on his face. suguru lets out a breath of relief. satoru’s blush meant that the matter at hand was only trivial…
“don’t tell me you were dreaming of [name],” his best friend smiles knowingly. satoru groans. suguru definitely knew, he was just playing with him at this point.
their conversation is cut short when the doors slide open by themselves to reveal a certain brown haired girl with a distasteful look on her face.
“satoru is having wet dreams of [name]?” shoko remarks quietly, making sure her comment is only heard by the two males. “i would act surprised, but it’s not like you’re above it.”
“just who do you think i am?” satoru looks down at his friend.  
“a real pervert.” shoko simply replied before quickly making her way back to the desk next to yours. 
satoru’s eyes follow her and make their way onto you. like a fly making its way into a honey trap, he can’t seem to look anywhere else. too busy burning the image of you absorbed in your textbook, he absorbs every little detail from the way your soft lips slightly part to mouth the words of the book to the way your leg bounces underneath the table. were you using a new lip balm? there was a subtle shade difference from your usual choice. gojo makes a mental note to ask you for the exact brand for… personal reasons.
in his trance, satoru fails to notice yaga’s scolding. he had also failed to notice how suguru had already made his way into a desk.
“satoru since you seem so eager to continue standing, i assume you volunteer to solve this equation.” yaga angrily taps the blackboard with a worn out price of chalk. 
satoru stiffens up, not because of yaga’s wrath, but because your attention has shifted from the textbook to him. you blink up at him, the image dangerously similar to his dream. satoru gulps, eyes quickly flitting to the equation messily written on the board. 
at least math equations don’t make him feel like his heart is beating out of his chest.
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it didn’t take a genius to notice how quiet satoru has been today. as if he were in his own world, you notice.
“i fear that i may have been giving satoru too much attention lately,” you mutter to your two other friends, mind running laps trying to recall all of the intimate moments you have spent with the white haired fiend— all of which could be characterized as highly inappropriate. 
“you always do,” suguru lazily rests his chin on the palm of his hand on the desk across from you. after yaga’s lecture, the seats had been rearranged appropriately so that the four of you could enjoy lunch together. “lay some of your love on us too.” he gestures his chopsticks to himself and shoko who were sitting side by side.
one could argue that the subtle smirk playing on suguru’s lips were a lot more dangerous than satoru’s. you’re afraid that suguru has started a game that will only end with your downfall.
the silver tongued boy seemed to catch satoru’s attention with his comment.
“ha– mad that you don’t pull? get your own girl,” satoru speaks up for the first time, glaring at his best friend through half lidded eyes from above his dark glasses. the half eaten melonpan in his hand was long forgotten.
“last i checked, [name] wasn’t your girl,” suguru places his chopsticks back down on his bento box. 
you could’ve sworn you saw an irk mark appear on the side of gojo’s face. 
shoko, who had been watching the scene unfold, sips on her juicebox silently. your eyes anxiously flit between the two boys.
“if you’re still mad about that mission, step outside. it’s not like i’m the one savin’ our asses every time.” satoru grits his teeth. 
the loud sound of suguru’s chair screeching on the wooden floor reverberates in the mostly empty room, “you and your uncouth mouth,” he accuses satoru.
shoko flees the scene. smart girl. 
you were about to follow her, but suguru holds out a hand for you to stop,
“i’m just about done anyway. please, don’t cut your meal early on my account,” he looks down at you and your full bento box. the black haired boy leaves no room for discussion when he turns his back to leave the classroom. 
when the shoji doors are slammed shut by suguru, your head whips to satoru who resumes eating his strawberry melonpan. 
“what was that? you’ve been acting strange, satoru– what happened on that mission?”
“don’ worry ‘bout it,” you barely make out the words coming out of his mouth that is full as he munches on the pink bread. 
you scoff, “you can’t just expect me to ignore the argument you just had with suguru. and that ugly bandaid on your face?” you point at the skin-colored bandage haphazardly placed on his face. upon further inspection, you also notice the growing eyebags on his face. it was truly peculiar to see any blemish on satoru’s perfect face.
he pouts, “are you calling me ugly?” satoru doesn't take pleasure in upsetting you, but the gradual way you leaned closer to him sparked an unexpected thrill within him.
“no, i’m worried about you. you’re being weird, satoru.” he was far from ugly.
as your back faces the window, the outside light casts an otherworldly glow around you.
“well, aren’t you an angel?” he tilts his head as he leans back in his seat, completely enamored.
“you never stop, do you? you’ve been completely out of it all day!” your scrutinizing gaze zeroes in on gojo who was mindlessly nodding with a dazed out smile on his face. “and judging by the way you’re all bandaged up, suguru was probably right! i mean you totally got roughed up. the great gojo satoru, wounded.” 
satoru blushes at your angry face. he’d say something indecent, but he fears that it would only scare you away. if only you knew that the reason he was all messed up was because of you.
“it's partially your fault, y'know.” cerulean eyes blink at you sheepishly before being replaced by a newfound mischievous look.
he doesn’t miss the way your anger shifts into confusion.
"excuse me?"
satoru continues, “if it weren't for you appearing in my dream i wouldn't have been distracted by that incomplete domain.” he points to the bandage cut just below his right eye.
“dreaming of me now, gojo?" you raise an eyebrow. the uncomfortable heat that was starting to rise onto your face at the new revelation that gojo dreams about you is ignored.
satoru looks away, "can you really blame a guy?"
you huff, ignoring his comment, “i think yaga has a first aid kit somewhere in the closet.” you make your way to check out the forgotten door in the back of the classroom. 
the cool sterility of medical supplies contrasts with the charged atmosphere left behind in the classroom.
when you do come back with the kit, your heart races, praying he won't notice the hitch in your breath as your fingers delicately tend to the nearly healed scratch beneath his cheek. satoru's ability to evoke strange emotions within you is undeniable.
silence envelops the classroom, broken only by satoru's deep breaths. you're so close that you can almost feel the warm gusts of air from his breath on your face.
"your body healed remarkably fast. i'm not surprised," you softly observe, your focus on the task at hand. satoru smiles, his eyes fixed on your concentrated features.
"yeah? well, i have an excellent nurse," he remarks, tapping the freshly placed bandaid on his cheek. "though it seems she missed one of my injuries."
you furrow your eyebrows. satoru points to his expectant lips, a playful pout on his face.
"no," you plainly state.
"aw, c'mon. kiss it better? i almost died today," he pleads, his eyes silently begging. you shake your head, unaware that it was your fault he nearly lost his head during the mission.
"you really want a kiss?" you repeat, catching on to his persistent request.
he nods fervently, his excitement palpable. was that even a question
you think he was pretty insane– requesting kisses from a fellow peer.
“satoru..” you murmur, leaning closer to him. his eyes were twinkling with excitement. the two of you were all alone, left with nothing but each other. this scene was all too familiar. 
the sides of his lips quirk up into a smirk while he watches your eyes travel all around his face. satoru has been fantasizing about this moment since the moment he laid eyes on you.
“[name],” he says, his voice softer than ever, a privilege reserved for those closest to him—especially you.
just a few more inches and your lips will meet… just a few…
slap!
satoru blinks in shock while you giggle at his confusion. he attempts to ask what just happened, but his mouth is sealed. his hand rises to find a bandaid now on his lips.
“you’re cuter when you shut up.”
 you seal your words with a soft kiss placed on his bandaged mouth.
...
gojo satoru explodes, his voice muffled by an adhesive barrier.
“m.rrry.. m.. mph..mph!”
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extra: 
all conflicts were resolved by evening when you had strategically set up a mario kart tournament.
right after you (indirectly) kissed gojo, you fled the scene, leaving a flustered satoru all hot and bothered. you ended up screaming into your pillow.. the same pillow that satoru was laying on not too long ago.
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n0thingbutlov3 · 3 months
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need you now | 2 |
in which readers true feelings are revealed.
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader warnings/tags: angst again (whoops) miscommunication (it’s short dw) fluff, reader is hungover lol, spencer is handsomely disheveled (moans) mentions of blueberry muffins being readers favourite type of muffin (sorry for not being vague but also if you don’t like blueberry muffins??? why) some tears, some swearing, some kissing, suggestiveness at the end of you squint (WHOOPS *evil smirk*) no use of y/n!! wc: 2.1k a/n: call me slim shady because i am back!!! i procrastinated writing this because i was scared everyone was secretly judging my writing and actually hated it and a second part would be a stupid idea but THEN i realised that was a little bit silly so im here B) part one got over 1000 notes (INSANE) all the support has been so so lovely—every note, reblog, and comment means the world to me, thank you!! i hope this part is okayy, feedback is always appreciated :) i hope you enjoy it you choose to read!!! <3 p.s kissing scenes are so difficult to write, i think i done absolutely awful!!!so let’s ignore that…. if you haven’t already and you’d like to, you can read part one here!
Your eyelids twitched as the early morning sun filtered through your bedroom. What was usually a calming wake-up call now felt like being blinded.
You burrowed your face into your pillow, squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to dull the throbbing in your head. This is why you didn’t drink often.
Asides from the obvious headache and nausea, you always seemed to wake up with a sense of dread; ‘hangxiety’—a friend had called it once. It was creeping up on you now, and even though you weren’t sure exactly what you had done, you knew it was bad. You flipped onto your back, fixing your gaze to the ceiling as if it could tell you what irreparable mistakes you had made last night.
It couldn’t, of course. The only thing you had realised is that you should probably coat it in a new layer of paint soon.
“How’re you feeling?”
You shot up, eyes widening at the sight of a man in your doorway. A man whose sleepy voice and disheveled hair threatened to make you melt, but a man who should not be in your doorway, nonetheless; Spencer.
Your brain was quick to supply you with information then, your memory coming back in hazy remnants. You were upset so you…called Spencer for the first time in months. Yikes. He didn’t answer so you turned to a bottle of high end whiskey instead—yikes, again—and passed out on your couch, only to wake up to your ex-boyfriend in your apartment. Cue more sobbing, a pathetic attempt at asking—no, more like begging—him to get back together with you, and that was it. Well, mostly. There was also the promise of discussing your breakdown in the morning. The morning, which was now.
What the fuck.
“Like I’ve been napalmed.” You weren’t sure you were just referring to your raging hangover.
That prompted a raspy kind of chuckle from him and Jesus Christ—you really shouldn’t have called, because it was going to be infinitely harder to watch him leave when he inevitably told you you were sad loser who needed to get a grip and move on—except, he’d be a lot nicer than that, wouldn’t he? Because even if things were over between you, he was still the sweetest person you had ever met and he’d never say anything to intentionally hurt you. Maybe things would be easier if he did. If he wasn’t so sickeningly perfect—if he just insulted you in the way you were certain you deserved, then maybe you’d get over him quicker.
“So, I-ah-uber’d breakfast—“
Your inner turmoil came to a screeching halt at those words.
“You uber’d? You?”
He scoffed, a light blush dusting his cheeks.
“The team’s been very into it lately and I always finish my paperwork first so it only makes sense that I—stop laughing! I can uber!”
“Sorry! I just can’t imagine the great Doctor Reid stooping to the levels of a fast food delivery app. Do you ever order to the wrong place?”
“No.” he said, unconvincingly. “Well, only once—“
You were laughing again.
He whined, turning on his heel.
“Just take your aspirin and hurry up!” He grumbled petulantly as he left the room, but you could hear the smile in his voice.
After a quick freshen up and taking the pills placed on your bedside table—as per his request—you padded through to the living room, joining Spencer on the couch.
You gasped delightedly as he pulled out muffins from a brown paper bag. To be more specific, blueberry muffins; your favourite.
“Did you know that blueberries are good for fighting hangovers? They’re rich in vitamin C, which helps break down and metabolise blood alcohol. Muffins too, they—what? Do I have something on my face—“
“No! No, sorry,” You had been caught staring—ogling, more like. “I just missed…that.”
“What? My incessant rambling?” He was joking, but you could hear the insecure twinge in his voice—the one that told him he was too much. Over the course of your relationship, you had showed him that he didn’t have to think like that around you—that he was never too much; he was perfect in your eyes. You hated that he doubted that now.
“Yes, actually.” You tried to keep your tone light, unserious. But there was nothing unserious about just how badly you had missed the man sitting beside you. How you could hear his voice in your mind when you drove late at night, giving you statistics on accidents. Or how on other late nights, you swore you could feel his hands ghosting over your skin—only to find out it was your imagination.
If he could see how truthful you were being, he didn’t acknowledge it, turning his attention back to the coffee table.
“I’ll, um, save you the facts on how beneficial coffee is for hangovers, anyway.” He smiled awkwardly, shuffling a paper coffee cup to where your muffin sat.
“Thank you,” you mumbled, “for the coffee, not the withholding of information—i’m a real fiend for coffee facts…especially when they’re related to curing hangovers!” You said a little too cheerily, trying to alleviate the awkward tension. Although, that only seemed to make it worse.
Spencer just huffed out a little laugh in response, taking the wrapper off of his muffin.
The rest of breakfast went by in silence. Not the comfortable silence you always seemed to have with Spencer—when you were together, you reminded yourself—but a strained one. The kind of silence that occurs when there’s something left unsaid, and you’re just waiting for someone to spit it out.
Spencer broke first.
“So we should probably talk…about last night.”
You finished the remainder of your coffee, setting the empty cup down before turning your whole body to Spencer, tucking your legs up underneath you.
“Right, yeah…”
A beat passed, Spencer’s eyes darting around your face—assessing you.
For someone who had imagined this conversation in your mind countless times, you certainly weren’t saying much.
“I—uh…was very drunk.”
Something in him shifted, like he was putting up imaginary walls.
“So you didn’t mean…any of it?” His brow furrowed, his nose twitching slightly.
“Well no, but I—“ You what? Meant every word you said and more? You couldn’t just say that. You had just got a small part of Spencer back and you didn’t want to ruin it by coming on too strong.
He waited for you to add something, anything, to show him that maybe, maybe there was a tiny part of you that still wanted him as badly as he wanted you. But you didn’t. You just sat there, playing with the fabric of your—his—t-shirt.
He couldn’t do it.
He was so tired of loving people only for them to leave like he had meant nothing to them. Was that all he was to you? Someone you could call when your inhibitions were lowered, looking for comfort? He would do anything to be back in your life again, but he couldn’t be a person of convenience; someone you only wanted when you were lonely.
He ran a hand through his hair, swallowing down the tightness in his throat.
“You were drunk and you got carried away, I get it. I think I better go though—“
“What? No, I—“ You bobbed your mouth like a fish, trying to find the words necessary to keep him here. There were too many of them and yet none at all. None except for three. Three words that you wished you had the courage to say months ago, or weeks ago, or last night. But you never claimed to be a courageous person, and you weren’t about to spill your heart out again only for it to end up in rejection.
Spencer stood, making his way to your bedroom to grab his shoes and coat. He didn’t care about his other clothes, he could buy more—he just needed out before he broke.
You sat dumbfounded on the couch, willing yourself to do something, say something. It was like you were frozen. And you stayed frozen. As Spencer shuffled around your bedroom, as he returned to the living room—completely avoiding your gaze—even as he searched for his keys. You hadn’t realised he had driven over here. He didn’t usually drive unless he had to get somewhere urgently. Were you someone worth seeing urgently to him?
He picked up his keys, heading for your door and only then did you realise how dire the situation was. If he left now you weren’t sure he would ever come back.
“No—wait, Spencer!” You stammered, lunging off the couch to try and stop him. He unlocked the door, moving to leave when you grabbed onto his jacket sleeve.
“Please don’t—I love you!”
“What?”
He turned to face you and you noticed just how wrecked he looked—not at all dissimilar from how you had for the last few months. Had he looked like that the whole time?
You must’ve been staring because when you came back to your senses he was calling your name exasperatedly.
“Do you mean it?”
You were fed up living like this; harbouring so much love for someone and not being able to express it. Even if he didn’t love you back, even if he was over you, you couldn’t go another moment without at least telling him how you felt.
“Yes,” you heaved, “I love you—I never stopped loving you, I was just…” You knitted your brows together, unsure how to phrase what you were feeling.
“I’ve never loved someone the way I love you and that’s…terrifying. I thought the way I felt was wrong, like—when you were on cases, I missed you so much, more than I thought humanely possible and—well, I never wanted to be the kind of girl to base her happiness on another person because that’s how you get hurt. So, I thought the only way to combat that was by…distancing myself. I thought if you weren’t in my life anymore then I’d be able to get a grip and become more independent—“ you huffed, trying to stop the wobble of your voice. “but it didn’t work, because then I was just missing you twice as much, except I couldn’t see you at all—“
“You could’ve answered my messages, we could’ve—“
“So you could return your key? Then things would actually be over. Why do you think I ignored your messages?”
“Why do you think I kept messaging? Angel, I was never going to return that key—at least not willingly—I just wanted to see you, to see if you were doing just as horribly without me as I was without you. You know, I couldn’t even focus on cases—Hotch even suggested I take some time off.”
You frowned, your voice impossibly small. “I’m sorry.”
He took a step toward you, cupping your cheeks in his hands.
“Don’t apologise, you were dealing with your emotions in the best way you knew how. I just wish…” he swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing. “I wish I hadn’t let you go so easily.”
His eyes were shining and—God, you wished you could take it all back. All the pain you had caused him, caused yourself, just because you were too scared to talk about your feelings.
“I wish I hadn’t left.” You blinked away the tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes. “Y’know, I read a book on astrophysics because it reminded me of you. I didn’t understand any of it but I couldn’t put it down. I still—“ you let out a watery chuckle. “still have it in my bedroom somewhere.”
Spencer smiled, swiping under your eye at a tear that must’ve escaped.
“Yeah? Maybe I can read it to you—help you understand it.”
“I’d like that.”
You didn't know much about celestial bodies or the ultimate fate of the universe, but you could've sworn you'd seen the stars pictured in that book in Spencer’s eyes when he looked at you.
“Say it again.” He mumbled, tilting his head down so that your faces were just inches apart.
“I love you.”
And then his lips were on yours, impossibly soft and everything you had been missing since you had broken up. He kissed you like you were the oxygen he needed and all you could do was sigh into him because you knew the feeling.
He leaned back all too soon, resting his forehead against yours.
“Well, I should probably go—“ He smirked, but you cut him off before he could continue his teasing.
“You’re not funny.”
He narrowed his eyes, sucking his teeth.
“I don’t know, I—“
You pressed a firm hand on his chest, bunching the cotton of his t-shirt into a fist.
“Stop. Stay—we can have a pyjama day and maybe for dinner, you can show me just how tech savvy you’ve become and uber us some food—“
He rolled his eyes, kicking the door shut before pressing his lips to yours with more force this time.
“Stop talking.”
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eloise-t-g · 5 months
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i think for me, the watcher situation comes down to this:
it's absolutely respectable that the watcher team wants to grow and produce better quality content. it's respectable that they don't want to stagnate and end up pushing the same content out over and over again. that's not satisfying for them creatively, i get that.
however, if higher quality, more heavily produced content is not what your fans are asking for, then you can't ask them to fund it.
this all-or-nothing method they've gone for is frankly bizarre. it feels like they leap-frogged all other alternatives to improving their finances and ended up here, alienating and frustrating the majority of their fanbase (the fanbase they thanked for getting them to where they are).
i think this could have gone a lot better if they:
Hadn't hyped up this video for a week.
Hadn't announced the worth it successor just beforehand.
Hadn't put out a wishy-washy, "boo hoo we're so sad about this", over-produced video.
Hadn't made it $6/month (more in a lot of countries given exchange rates).
Had considered that this means fans in specific countries literally cannot pay for the subscription due to geo/region-locking.
my ideas for improving their funds, aka things they could have tried before blowing their brand up: create their own website with two options - a free version with ads and a paid version without ads, OR make better use of their patreon/make their website extra content, not all their content, for example:
Put the ghost file debriefs on there.
Put shows like survival mode on there (or even shift that show from pre-recorded video to live-stream - live stream access to patrons and VOD access to everyone, maybe).
Put episode commentaries there.
Do reaction videos to their old buzzfeed content, talk about memories and BTS, and put that there.
Put one/two episodes of each show, per season on there (and ONLY there).
Put the episodes up there a few days early.
Make specific, website only content (that's not your main and most popular series aka ghost files and puppet history).
Record the live, in-person shows and put those VODs up there.
EDIT (thought of something else lmao): put extended or even uncut versions of ghost files on there. Paranormal Detour on Detune's twitch channel has shown that people will willingly sit through 6+ hours of a ghost investigation.
EDIT: idk, do livestreams once a week where you watch scary movies with fans on discord or twitch.
(side note: the fact that they're not taking down their patreon and instead shifting all of their podcast content on there, something the patreons who have been loyally giving them money for years didn't ask for, is ridiculous and greedy. add to this the fact that they don't even get a free sub to the new website, instead get 40% off - a measly 10% more than anyone else who subs before the official launch).
the thing for me is that they're claiming they want to make "television" and "television-grade content". that's completely fine. what's not completely fine is acting like your four episodes a month is equal to netflix's entire catalogue.
this really felt like it should have been something they told us they were progressing towards, not something they revealed to be on the imminent horizon. idk, it just feels out of nowhere. no, they don't owe us all of the info about their company. but something had to be better than this.
final thought - it's okay and valid to be upset at the team for this. for a lot of people, it's a complete betrayal (especially the comment that $6 a month is something "anyone and everyone can afford", i mean yikes). i do think some people's anger got the best of them, and some of the comments i've seen across youtube, twitter, and tumblr are plain bullying, racism, and harassment. until we have the whole story, we can't decide that one founder (aka steven in a lot of people's minds) is solely responsible. i know a lot of these awful things are only coming from a small minority of the fandom, but they still get seen.
at the end of the day, all three of them got up in front of a camera and made this video, together. that can only lead us to the conclusion that they made this decision together. acting like these men in their 30s couldn't stand up against it if they truly wanted to, is so strange and parasocial lmao.
tl;dr there were much better ways of going about this announcement, if it even needed to be made at all. however, that doesn't excuse the hateful shit being spewed at the team. for now, all we know is the three founders decided they were done with youtube, and done with their loyal youtube audience.
(i have so many more thoughts on this but i need to stop lmao. however i do wonder how different things could have been if 1. they had hired someone with actual business experience as their CEO from the jump, and 2. this video was more of a "hey we're broke! this is a last-ditch effort to save our company!". guess those questions will remain ... well ... you know ...).
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footiecent · 5 months
Text
not your fault
(emily fox x reader)
in which you're obsessed with your girlfriend (especially her jawline)
warnings: slightly suggestive? almost all fluff
word count: 1.1k
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It's not your fault. Really, it's not.
“Baby, don’t you have to get up soon?”
You hum in reply, half asleep. 
You’re so comfortable. Your head is tucked protectively into the crook of your girlfriend’s left shoulder and neck while you lie almost entirely on top of her, the covers burying the both of you into a warm, delightful cocoon. Emily’s left hand is slowly moving up and down your back, and everything is just perfect.
“You can’t be late for work again.”
You open your eyes at that, but at the first moment you start to untangle your arms from her waist and feel her body heat dissipate, you realize that maybe you can stay for just another minute.
So, you decide to flop back down. Though, you’ve at least managed to roll your upper body partially off of her, giving you a perfect view of her side profile as she closes her eyes, not having to get up for practice for another half-hour. 
You can’t help but to reach out your hand and run your thumb along her sharp jawline—mind assaulted by memories of the night before when you see the marks littered below it.
Damn. She’s gonna kill me, you think. She’s told you so many times that covering hickies up before practices is a bitch, and looking at these marks—ones that might be a few too many shades past concealable—you realize you’re fucked. 
You start to analyze the best plan of action, landing on one that has you placing a gentle kiss onto her jaw before springing up from bed and hurriedly walking to the bathroom to wash up. All you have to do is leave before she gets up. Easy work. Easy peasy…
You’re so close—you’re at the door, knelt down with one shoe on when you hear her.
“Y/N! Come on!” she yells. 
Yikes.
You manage to put your other shoe on right as she appears in your vision, very clearly ticked off. 
“It’s not my fault?” you try, walking towards your very beautiful, and very pissed girlfriend.
“Oh, so it’s my fault I have to cover these up?” she says, pushing your shoulder when you stand in front of her.
Looking at her face, you decide that telling her you literally just look so incredible at every moment it’s not my fault you’re mine and I can’t help it would not exactly help your case. So, you decide to resume your quick exit, quickly kissing her cheek and saying, “Have a good practice babe, I love you!” as you grab your keys and leave your shared flat. 
You do make a mental note to buy Emily’s favorite chocolates after work. 
--------------------------------------------------------------
Like really, it's her fault. Who gave her the right to look that good after a game?
You’re reminded that you’re always completely in the right when you’re sitting at the Emirates two days later, watching your girlfriend wrap up a defensive masterclass against Chelsea. For the first time in a while, London is sunny, and the beautiful weather only adds onto the incredible mood in the stadium as the full-time whistle blows and cheers thunder throughout every corner.
You can’t help but stare at her while she celebrates with the rest of the team. Lotte likes to joke that the two of you could melt taffy with just one of your lovesick glances, but you can’t help it. It's her fault for looking so good after a game—sweaty, smiley, and positively glowing after helping her team to a win. 
She spends time walking around the stadium, signing autographs and taking pictures, while you chat absentmindedly with Alessia, who came to greet you before starting her rounds of the stadium. But when Emily finally makes her way towards you—lifting her shirt up to try and wipe some sweat off her face—you start thinking about your plans for after. Alessia catches your change in demeanor, rolling her eyes and walking away while muttering something under her breath. 
“Did you enjoy the game?” your girlfriend asks, stepping in front of you, grinning from ear to ear. You both look disgustingly in love as the sun shines down and highlights her vibrant smile. 
“Of course I did. How could I not, superstar?” 
Being in the stands means you hover tall over Emily, enabling you to comfortably wrap your arms around her neck as she looks up at you. You ignore the few stares that direct their way towards you two as you relentlessly press kisses onto her jawline and cheek. She’s laughing as she playfully tries to shove you away, but you can’t help but hold her a little tighter and whisper just how excited you are to get home. 
--------------------------------------------------------------
So, she should stop getting annoyed. She should know that you’ll never truly be satisfied. 
Your watch reads ‘8 P.M.’ as you cuddle up to Emily’s side on the white couch in your living room. The two of you had rushed home from the afternoon game, unable to resist the allure of enjoying each other’s company for a few hours.
And now, after redressing yourselves, cooking and eating dinner, washing the dishes, and tidying up the kitchen, the two of you are sitting together, more innocently enjoying each other’s company. She has a book out while you scroll mindlessly through Twitter, poking her side every few minutes to draw her attention to a funny tweet. 
After thirty minutes, however, Emily is deeply immersed into her reading and you’re bored. So, you resort to beginning your favorite activity: staring at her. You look up at her while your head rests against her arm, and you’re still mesmerized by her beauty even years into your relationship.
“What?” she asks without looking away from her book.
“You’re hot.”
She dismisses the comment with a small snicker, but places a kiss onto your forehead regardless. 
“We already fucked today, let me read in peace.”
You huff, but the both of you are well-aware that you aren’t deterred by small obstacles. So naturally, you begin to press a few open-mouthed kisses right below her jaw. She indulges you for a moment, closing her eyes and letting her book rest on her lap. But when a kiss turns into a stinging bite, she opens her eyes and grabs your shoulder. 
“C’mon, stop it. I have to go in for recovery tomorrow, you know that,” she whines. “I already stopped you from leaving marks once today!”
But she should know that you simply can’t help yourself. She should’ve known that you were going to toss away her book from her other hand, grab her wrists, and straddle her lap. She really should know that the stern look she sends you—with her jaw clenched, almost sharpened—while sitting underneath you only makes her hotter. 
She should’ve known that she was going to wake up the next morning with quite a few more marks. 
After all, it's not your fault. 
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the-trash-site · 10 days
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My favourite type of fanfiction at the moment has been 'y/n is reincarnated into fandom to save the characters from canon!'. (currently mainly reading for JJK and MHA as that's what I'm obsessed with.) There's something so pure about the plot and how the author has fun with it. With scenes where yn is lowkey simping or the actual character of the fandom being dorky.
I think the appeal (besides the amazing writing and passion given into each chapter of these fanfic, rec list below) of this is how straightforward it can be. You already know the characters, you know the canon. All you learn when first reading is what ability you get and how you fit within the world. Which is usually attending the school or growing up with the character.
But mostly, what I love is seeing the butterfly effect and the new dynamics it can create. But lately, I can't help but wonder about a fanfic that has the vibe of 'careful what you wish for'. And seeing what ripples that could make. (I write mostly of JKK and MHA but these ideas could be apply to AOT or Demon Slayer or any other fandom.)
I find it hilarious if instead, the y/n is older than the main group. Imagine being the milf/dilf of MHA. Being the same age as All Might or old enough to adopt characters like Shigaraki.
Or being the in-between age of Deku and the teachers. Where your options are; hanging out with the League of Villains, working hard asf to be a top hero to be around Hawks/the plot. Or becoming a teacher/assistant to watch over class 1A to change canon. I mean, what else are you meant to do in your early twenties? You literally have to force yourself into the plot lol
Oh, you have a favourite character, like Nanami, Gojo or Choso you want to meet? Here you go, a new life as their child! (probably be a sibling for Choso lol) Oh you met you wanted to rizz them up and treat them right? Nope, sorry, you're forced to tag along and face any challenges that would come as being a child to a; Jujutsu sorcerer/ the strongest/ a half-curse spirit.
Oh, this time you specified the thought of being dating/married to Aizawa/Geto/Toji as you died? Kinda weird but here you go! Your new life as their spouse! But only, you don't gain memories from this new life, as you only remember about the canon. Don't mind the grief and odd looks the character is giving you, their amnesia darling. It's not like you can't remember the wedding you two shared. (for maximum angst, they have the kids and you're just clueless about being a parent and saving the canon. yikes)
Okay, but what if you get super lucky? You get to be with the main character and do real help! Everything is fine in JJK but Sukuna is dead set on killing you. Every chance he gets, he uses until he kills you. But it's only after he brought you back that you learn it's because he actually loves you. After all, you're the reincarnated of his reincarnated dead wife. (not confusion at all, lol) He was just pissed that you dead centuries ago and couldn't have the life you two planned. It was his way of getting even. Definitely not annoying when trying to save characters.
Okay, for real now. Everything is perfectly fine...But what's this? Yuji and Izuku are actually yandere for you? Oh, that wouldn't change canon that much, right?
Anyway, here are my favourites fanfics;
Otherworldy attraction by Kilkyo851 JJK | on AOE | multiple pairings
When I catch you Gege by Quinnyundertow JJK | on AOE | multiple pairings
Daybreak by sexy-captain-rexy (smolkatsudon) Star wars | poly Obi-Wan, Anakin Skywalker and reader pairing| on AOE
Promise: Thorin x Fíli x reader Hobbit | love angle with true pairing haven't been shown | on AOE (this one is interesting as reader has more visions than knowledge from media.)
Changing History [MHA! Various F!Reader] by summerblack | MHA | on Qoutev
The Future's Keeper [MHA!Various x F!Reader] by summerblack | MHA | on Quotev
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sugarushwriting · 15 days
Text
ot7 vampire enhypen and their human blood bank (you) part two
ni-ki went rogue (yikes)
sfw with some innuendos (the nsfw is coming i promise)
not proof read
reblog, like, and let me know your thoughts! please don’t repost or translate.
kinda like a filler part (?) but still interesting and the next few parts get more interesting (?) please trust me and bare with me!
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡
jay had picked you up and brought you straight to the house (actually mansion) the boys lived in. it was in a historic part of downtown, which happened to be no more than a 30 minute walk (5-7 minute drive) to main campus.
historic brick home, built in the 1800s and renovated to fit modern style but also kept the original charm and character. you loved the bookshelves and home library the house had. jay made sure to let you know you were welcome over whenever and that would be your safe space. when you were in the library, none of the boys would bother you. even if they had to feed, they would use the blood bags before bothering you.
5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, and a finished basement for entertainment. the newbies all share a bedroom. apparently jay was currently searching for a bigger house.
entering the house, sunoo and jungwon were waiting for you and jay to arrive back.
“where’s ni-ki?” you asked barely above a whisper.
“he’s downstairs with sunghoon and jake.” jay answered.
“and heeseung?”
“went to check on the girl in the hospital.”
you let out a big sigh of distress. you hope she was okay, you really did. but would she remember what happened? would she tell the cops on ni-ki and jeopardize the boys secret?
“what—what happened?” you asked looking at all three boys attentively and walked to were jungwon and sunoo sat. both immediately grabbed your hands in their own as jay sat on the coffee table facing you to explain what happened.
jay and sunghoon, the two being the oldest members (in vampire age) had always reiterated to the newbies how feeding on a human for the first time isn’t something to take lightly. it can be deadly for both sides, as well as the newbie losing control due to lust.
there was a curfew for the newbies. be home by 8 pm, if they needed to be out later, sunghoon or jay had to be with them. absolutely off limits was being alone with someone. not just a girl, but a guy too. a newbie will feed on any human with a heartbeat. you did learn though, whichever the newbie is attracted to though, the longing and lust would be stronger.
sunoo had warned ni-ki not to break the rules, but ni-ki insisted he would be okay. he had snuck out around 12 to go meet the girl. sunoo immediately told the olders when he awoke seeing ni-ki’s bunk below his empty around 1:30 am.
jay and sunghoon went out to find ni-ki, and luckily, it didn’t take long as sunoo had ni-ki’s laptop and saw the messages where they were meeting.
the girl had somehow cut her hand earlier that day, and while out with ni-ki her wound reopened. ni-ki smelt the flesh blood. his eyes changed and before the girl could even scream, his teeth had been embedded into her wrist. his other hand had gripped her other wrist so hard, his nails caused a cut, and he fed on that too.
while jay pulled ni-ki off, ni-ki, covered in blood on his face and shirt, smirked and ran off, leaving a trail. jay went after him. sunghoon stayed back to make sure the girl’s memory was erased from the last 30 minutes. he made sure she repeated,
“ni-ki and i said goodbye. he was not the cause of my accident.”
“how—what happened when you caught him? why did sunghoon leave the girl?”
“sunghoon wasnt going to leave her, but he heard someone coming.” jay explained, “i caught ni-ki in no time. although i’m and elder and he’s a newbie that was hyped on his first feed, i am still faster and stronger.”
jay explained how with ni-ki’s behavior right now, an elder needs to be with him at all times, as he wouldn’t be able to manipulate them. ni-ki also doesn’t have the ability to manipulate the one who changed him—hence why jake and sunghoon was with him.
“can i see him?” you asked standing up.
“i don’t think that’s a good idea, love.” jay shook his head but you pouted.
“please jay.” you begged. “i won’t be scared, i promise.”
“it’s not you being scared of him i am worried about. it’s how his behavior will be towards you.”
“what do you mean?” you crossed your arms. it couldn’t be that bad, could it?
“love, he’s very hungry, thirsty, lustful, right now. he’s chained in our basement in a small, hidden room we have for reasons like this. never thought we’d need it. if he smells you, heck he probably smells you now, he will literally not be able to control himself. his mind, emotions, words, all of it.”
“jay—,”
“no, i will not allow you to see him right now. he’s also very angry cause we are denying him of blood, and draining his body of the human thirst.”
your face dropped, “draining?”
“more like, detoxing. he won’t have blood, well, good, fresh blood for a while. the next day or 2, we will be giving him old blood, that doesn’t taste good, but will keep him alive.”
“and that will help him?”
jay nodded, “yes. it could take 12 hours or it could take 12 days.”
“what about school?”
“it’s already been taken care of, okay?” jay tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear, then cradled your cheek. “are you hungry?”
you shook your head. “no just tired.” it was still early in the morning from being woke up out of your sleep.
“go lay in my bed. you can sleep in some of my clothes if needed.”
you smiled. “thanks jay.”
as you went up the stairs, jungwon turned to jay with panic in his eyes. “how am i supposed to feed on her now? i don’t want to hurt her, jay.”
“and you won’t because you’ll have me and one of the others with you, okay? we’ll guide you.”
jungwon shook his head with a sniffle, “i don’t want to lose control.”
“jungwon, if i didn’t think you could, i wouldn’t even had mentioned it as a possibility.” jay soothed, “you have the best control as a newbie that i’ve seen and i mean that.”
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶
you woke up next to an empty bed around 10 am. you sat up and stretched with a groan, your bones popping.
going to jay’s ensuite, you brushed your hair and teeth, before going downstairs to a quiet home.
you walked around looking for life (haha) but when you found no one, your eyes turned to the door leading to the basement. your heart picked up as your hand reached for the doorknob.
“baby doll, what are you doing?”
you jumped with a squeal hearing sunghoon behind you. he had a smile on his face showing his natural pointy k-9s.
“i, uh, i was looking for someone.” you scratched your head. “i walked around the house and didn’t find anyone.”
“that’s because we’re all still asleep.”
“why aren’t you?”
“i sensed you were up to no good.”
“what about jay? he’s not in bed.”
“he’s with ni-ki.” sunghoon said. “and jay made it very clear you are to not go in the basement, no matter how many times you pout and bat your eyelashes.”
you groaned. “fine.” your stomach grumbled. “can you fix me breakfast?”
“you know i’m not the best cook.”
“you’ve been dead slash alive for how long and you still can’t master it up like a chef like jay?”
“no matter how long we’ve been living, there are just some things you’ll never be good at.” sunghoon laughed and he led you to the kitchen.
“what do you want, baby doll?”
“mhmm, pancakes?”
“that, i can do.”
“can i help?” it was jungwon’s voice who joined you both in the kitchen, with sunoo right behind.
“sure. i thought you two would still be asleep.” sunghoon said, then explained how newbies usually sleep most of the day away for at least the first 6 months as they’re building up their strength.
“too worried about ni-ki.” sunoo sighed and sat at the barstool next to you.
“he’s fine.” heeseung’s voice was next to say as you heard the basement door shut.
you quickly turned around. “you were down there with him and jay?”
heeseung nodded. he kissed the top of your head with a “hi pretty,” greeting.
“how do you define, fine?” you challenged.
“he’s not dead—again.”
you smiled at the joke and nodded. “how long have you and jay been down there?”
“just about 3 hours.” heeseung yawned.
“you must be tired!” you gasped and turned to sunghoon, suddenly feeling guilty of having him make you breakfast.
“it’s no worries, okay? i’ll sleep after breakfast is done.” and sunghoon did just that. after finishing the pancakes to feed the whole house, he went back to to his room to sleep.
heeseung explained to sunoo and jungwon that he would be taking them out today to learn to control their urges while in public.
“where are we going?”
“fighting match.” heeseung smirked.
“so violent!” you screwed your face in disgust.
after those three left, jay was still downstairs with ni-ki, jake was still fast asleep, and sunghoon was asleep in his room.
you took the opportunity to go to the library and find a book to read. eventually you fell asleep on the big couch that was in the library.
ni-ki, it was ni-ki. but why were you in the basement?
“help me.” ni-ki pleaded and you went closer to him. poor boy looked pathetic. he was extremely pale and looked as if he hadn’t eaten in years!
“i need to feed or i’ll die.” he said. your feet moved before your mouth. his eyes changed, and his fangs came out.
“feed on me.” you said.
ni-ki’s smile did not look welcoming. his smile looked creepy. the basement light flickered and the next light, ni-ki was covered in blood staring at you. “don’t mind if i do.”
just as ni-ki went to attack, you awoke startled, you too out of breath to even scream. you were gasping desperately for air, and looked around your surroundings.
you were still in the library. the book fell to the ground. your hand went to your head as you felt a headache forming. “what the fuck was that?” you whispered to yourself.
“you okay?” sunghoon asked from the doorway to the library.
you turned with a startle, but smiled and nodded. “i’m good.”
“are you done reading?”
you nodded and got up from the couch putting the book on the shelf. “you need to feed? it’s been a while.” you asked.
sunghoon nodded, “if you don’t mind doll.”
“i don’t.” you said truthfully. another thing you learned is that the older vampires (jay and sunghoon) can go longer in between feeds, especially since their feeds are more intense.
once you reached the doorway to the library, sunghoon intertwined your hands together and led you to his bedroom.
you got in a spot on his bed lying down. you were still in your (jays) shorts, so sunghoon would have no trouble accessing your right thigh. just like jake, his favorite place to feed was your upper thigh.
in no time, sunghoon had his teeth sunk into you. you let out a quick groan of pain with the initial feeling, but it didn’t last long. as sunghoon fed, your mind with fuzzy, and your head fell back on the bed. you don’t remember sunghoon gripping your other leg to make sure you stayed open for him. you don’t remember him finishing, his face stricken with panic as he noticed you weren’t responding to him.
“baby doll, open.” you faintly heard him say.
“what’s wrong with her?” it was jake’s aussie accent.
“i don’t know.” sunghoon said with genuine concern. the guys always made sure you had enough energy and strength before feeds, and they made sure that you knew that. if you didn’t feel well, you were supposed to tell them.
your mouth was opened by jakes fingers and a thick drink was poured down your throat. it was some kind of protein shake to hopefully get your strength back up.
your breathing resumed to a normal rate. you don’t know how long you were out, but you had the same nightmare about ni-ki.
this time when you startled awoke, sunghoon and jake were there. “baby doll, what happened?”
“nightmare.” you said, but sunghoon and jake demanded you told them about it. and when you did, sunghoon wasn’t happy.
sunghoon stormed off out of his room, down to the basement, ignoring jays confused face as he opened the door to the single blocked off room. ni-ki was there, smirk on his face.
“aw man, you’re not who i wanted to see.” he chuckled.
“leave her alone!” sunghoon yelled.
jay rushed in beside sunghoon. “what happened?”
before either boy could speak, they heard your footsteps coming down the basement steps. your eyes glazed over in almost a trance.
“she wouldn’t stop! i didn’t want to hurt her.” jake voiced with worry from behind you.
both sunghoon and jay turned to ni-ki who still had an all knowing smile on his face. “what?” he clicked his tongue. “looks like she wants me to feed on her.”
“ni-ki.” was all you said. before you could step closer, sunghoon slammed the door back, and jay rushed to your side.
“wake up.” he commanded. you did so. his tone was dark and deep, which was probably his authority as head vampire.
“huh?” you looked around confused. you noticed you were in the basement when you saw the pool table. then you panicked looking at jay. “jay,” you began but jay cut you off.
“no worries love. go upstairs and pack an overnight bag. jake, go get jungwon to meet in the living room with an overnight bag as well.”
you didn’t question or argue and went straight upstairs with jake right behind you.
sunghoon and jay discussed amongst themselves. the detox wasn’t working quick enough. ni-ki smelt you from the moment you walked in that door. with sunghoon feeding on you, it got stronger, your smell.
ni-ki had tried to use mind control to let him feed on you. that’s why you were drained so quickly from sunghoon’s feeding.
“i knew it was a bad idea bringing her here, sunghoon.” jay explained. “i’m taking her and jungwon to a hotel overnight.”
“make sure she eats really well.” sunghoon warned, not wanting earlier events to happen again.
jay and sunghoon have decided, it was time for jungwon to feed.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡
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copperbadge · 11 months
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In the ongoing discussion of aphantasia (see "an aphantasia fantasia" tag for more) an article popped up recently which has some details to share, including a history of how aphantasia was discovered in the scientific sense. I don't have "spatial thoughts" the way the author does, but it's also a pretty good discussion of how people who don't form mental images (or can't access sound, smell, etc in their minds) still interact normally with the world.
Here's some fucked up shit I didn't expect, however:
In a 2015 paper, a group of researchers [...] identified a new syndrome they called “Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory,” or SDAM for short. People with SDAM lack the ability to relive past experiences in their minds. While this condition is rare among the general population, a preliminary survey hints at a link with aphantasia, with as many as 51 percent of a sample of 2,000 SDAM individuals also having aphantasia. My own experience is similar. Past episodes of my life—when I can recall them at all—feel distant and non-sensory. [...] I would describe my recollections as summaries of key facts rather than first-person “mind movies.” When asked, out of the blue, about an experience I’ve surely had—say, any childhood birthday party—my mind first responds by drawing a blank. It feels as if my episodic memories were filed into a “mental cabinet” without an index. Many memories are in there, somewhere, but retrieving them is a daunting task unless I’m provided with very specific prompts. With some groping work of deduction (where did I live at the time? Who did I hang out with?) I can gather enough hints to bring out some locations and non-visual facts: I had a big party in our countryside garden when I was 11 or 12; there was cake; a lot of kids running around and … that’s about it.
This is one hundred percent how I access memory and how I assumed everyone did -- I am well aware I don't remember chunks of my past (or only remember them if prompted by something) but I do the same thing he does. I ask myself where I was living, or what other things were happening at the time, or I snag on a rare memory of a piece of clothing or a feeling, and I extrapolate from there. I don't relive memories in the way that the article implies regular people do, and while I will recognize say, the smell of a specific library, a deeply ingrained scent for me, I don't remember the smell if I'm not standing there smelling it. And this explains my dedication to making an annual photobook documenting the past year, each December -- the photobooks are powerful memory triggers and have more than once reminded me where I was or what year it was when I did XYZ thing.
Also, turns out that one of the key methods for emotional regulation in most people is calling up a happy memory to counteract sad ones, which is why depression is so pervasive, because depressed people have literal biological impairments to remembering or reliving positive memories.
And SDAM, associated with aphantasia, is an impairment to reliving any memory at all, so...
Big ol' neurological yikes, guys.
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star-burst365 · 1 year
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“Children have treated toys better than you’ve treated me.”
As much as I love Scarlett (I’m an avid Tella hater im sorry), Evangeline is absolutely my favorite MC that Stephanie has written so far.
Here you have a deeply lonely character who hasn’t even turned 18 yet. All Evangeline wants is love — she gives so much of it (again and again) and it’s all she wants back. She forgives Marisol, befriends Luc again, and gives Jacks and the other Fates second and third and fourth chances. That’s why it hurts so badly when she gets so little of it. Everyone in the book uses her. Tiberius (to frame her for murder), Marisol, her Stepmother, Chaos, LaLa, and even Jacks. She stayed the entire night hugging (kind of) almost-vampire Jacks in the crypt just for him to abandon her when it was her under the venom 😭. In Jacks’s own words, she’s “the unluckiest person he’s ever met.” Our poor girl cannot catch a break: everyone in the books manipulate her for their own gain while she gets absolutely nothing in return, despite getting things done for the people around her. She found the stones, she unlocked the arch, and what did she get as a thank you? Dying in the arms of her almost-lover, before being turned away cruelly by said almost-lover and losing her memories. Jeez.
But that’s why it’s so inspiring seeing her get back up again and again. Evangeline would kill them with kindness if she wasn’t nice enough to try and save each and every one of them. She hugs and forgives LaLa after she placed a curse on her. She tries to talk Petra out of killing her (we all know how that went, yikes). She chooses Jacks again and again, because that’s what love is. It’s everything she stands for: fighting for the people you love and never abandoning them.
Idk, maybe it’s just me, but I really would love to see more of the characters appreciating her, this girl and her blind faith in everything that moves, who’s stubborn and fearless and determined to help others instead of herself. So excited for acftl <3
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dira333 · 4 months
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Hurting together - Aizawa x Reader
mentions of Chronic pain, requested by @alienaiver I hope this is in any way what you've imagined.
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“Nervous?” Shouta asks after a full 120 seconds of your leg bouncing without stopping.
“Huh?! Oh, oh, I’m sorry!” You scramble to a halt, arm resting on your leg to keep it in place. “I didn’t even notice I was doing it.”
“Doesn’t mean you have to stop now. But if you wanna talk about it, I heard that helps.”
“Oh, uh, I don’t wanna … I don’t wanna annoy anyone,” you mutter, eyes flickering from left to right.
“Do you wanna hear my story then?” He asks, not because it’s something he likes sharing, but you’re cute and what’s the alternative? Staring at the wall until he gets called in.
“Oh, if you… if you don’t mind?”
He huffs out a breath. “Well, apparently it’s not healthy to break a bone every single week.”
“Oh!” Your eyes grow huge. “Every single week? Wait, is it the same bone.”
“No,” he snorts softly, “At least then I’d have a better story. I’m a pro Hero, I just happen to get into fights.”
“And what’s your Hero Name? Fragile Bone?”
It takes him a second to recognize the joke, snorting loudly when he does. You’re snappy, now that the anxiety fades.
“No, it’s uh… Eraser Head.” He waits a second for you to recognize him, the star-struckness to hit. But it doesn’t. Instead, you cock your head to the side and eye him thoroughly. 
“Interesting,” you say, “I remember an Interview you were forced to give a few years back. Uh, I think there was a streaker at the Sports Festival?”
He laughs. “Good Memory. Yeah, that was one of our students. He didn’t have his Quirk under Control back then.”
“And you’ve got a broken bone now? Or is this just a check-up?”
“Bloodwork.”
“Yikes,” you pull a face, “me too. It’s the worst.”
“It is,” he agrees, dares to ask before he can lose his courage again. “Want me to hold your hand through the process?”
And it’s smooth, smoother than he’s ever been able to - maybe the absence of his friends does benefit his ability to flirt - and he might even get his hopes up for a second there - until your face falls.
“That’s really tempting, you know, but I… uh… my hands are hurting. That’s why I’m here, you know, to figure out why they’re hurting like this. So hand-holding is kinda a no-go.”
“Oh, I understand,” the dejection must be audible in his voice because you reach out for him, though you don’t take hold.
“But if you want,” you offer, voice a little breathless, “you could… uh… put your hand on my shoulder? It might look weird, but-”
“I’ve seen weirder things,” he offers and your smile lights up the room.
-
“Oh, I didn’t know you were coming in together,” Doc Oc greets him and for a moment he is paralyzed, frozen between two different emotions. Surprise, because Doc OC’s obviously familiar with you and he’s got the worst memory when it comes to names. Embarrassment, because it’s usually not the best thing if a Doctor remembers you by name, let alone this one.
“Ah,” you smile, “We met in the waiting room. Bloodwork, you now. It’s easier if it’s done together.”
“That I can agree with. Now, who wants to go first?”
-x-
“Now, I believe you owe me something,” Recovery Girl announces one afternoon, a big smile cutting into her wrinkly face. “What’s her name?”
“Huh?” Shouta had been busy reading through this week's assignment, deciphering the texts. Denki’s Handwriting almost requires a PHD in decoding.
“Doc Oc and I have been friends for quite some time. One would call us even… very close… if you know what I mean. He said you brought in lovely company.”
“Oh, uh, yeah, I guess…” He can’t help but blush at her tone. Too much information.
“Well, are you going to ask her out? You cannot count this as your first date, surely? A fancy Dinner is a must.”
“A fancy Dinner is a must for whom?” Hizashi’s leaning around the door and Shouta groans. Of all people to overhear this.
“Shouta’s girlfriend.”
“Shouta has a girlfriend? Shouta, my man, why didn’t you tell me? Don’t you love me anymore? Your best friend?”
He crawls further into his sleeping bag, closing his eyes. Those assignments can wait, if he can fall in to a coma first, he-
-x-
“So?” Rumi leans against your Desk. “Did he call you?”
“Not yet,” you’re chewing on your lower lip, “But he’s probably busy.”
“Busy my ass,” she snorts angrily. “You’re a catch. If he doesn’t get a groove on you’re gone. He should know that.”
You level your friend - and boss - with a glare. “I’ve been single for a year.”
“Which he doesn’t know,” she sings. “But on another note, have you’ve gotten the results from your bloodwork? You know we only need that so we can get started on your hands-free Desktop.”
“Why do you sound more excited about this than I am?”
“Because you’re afraid of change and I am not. Just think, your hands will finally get to rest!”
“Yay,” you wave them around half-heartedly when your phone pings.
Rumi’s already grabbing it from your desk, always faster than you. “Oh, it’s your guy.” She hands it back. “Not looking.”
“Thank you for respecting my privacy,” you joke and open the short text only to gasp.
“He’s asking me out.”
“Great, so he’s not an idiot. Confirm.”
“No, no, he’s asking me out for a date tonight. You know how bad my legs have been today, I can’t show up with a cane.
“Why not?”
“Because,” you drag out, “the last time I did that there was no second date.”
“And you think he’s that shallow?”
“I just don’t want to jinx it.”
“Fine,” she huffs, crossing her arms. “Tell him you can’t tonight because you’re working late. Ask him if he’s able to reschedule for tomorrow or Friday.”
You hesitate, but do as you’re told.
“And now,” she grabs your bag as soon as you put your phone down, “you get your cute ass home and rest. I want you as fit as you can be tomorrow so you can enjoy that date.”
“But work-”
“Work is like my ex - it will always wait for you.”
-x-
“Fuck,” Shouta groans, head on his arms. The pain is strong today.
“You… uh… you good?” He hears a familiar voice from the door. Shit, he forgot about training with Hitoshi.
“Fantastic,” he grinds through his teeth though he does not dare to lift his head. Lunch was decent, but he doesn’t want to taste it again.
“Do you need Recovery Girl?”
“No, I’m going to be fine. Can you get me my painkillers from my bag? I would, but moving-”
“Sure, sure.” He can hear rustling and then a pill is dropped into his outstretched palm.
Slowly, carefully, he drags his arm back to pop it into his mouth, swallows it dry. He’s got loads of practice.
“Give me twenty minutes and I’ll be right as rain.”
“Uh, if you say so.”
-
He’s got a black eye.
He’s got a black eye and a date in about thirty minutes and the painkillers are making him particularly loopy today.
Hitoshi wouldn’t have been able to hit him in the face if his reaction time hadn’t been so slow. He’s lucky no bone is broken.
Something tells him that it would be better to reschedule, but wouldn’t that make him look disinterested when he’s not?
-
“Mew.” 
Shouta turns to the sound, surprised to see a black cat looking up at him. There’s a hedge there, and he bends down to pet the animal. 
“You’re loud, huh?” He comments on the purring, taking a seat on the ground when his knees turn a little wobbly. He really is getting older. 
The cat disappears into the hedge and he holds out a hand, making little sounds to lure her back out.
Just as he can spot the green eyes blinking back at him, a banknote is dropped into his hand.
“Here,” a voice says, “It’s cold out.”
Shouta freezes, only to look up into your face.
“Uh,” he makes, suddenly envious of Kaminari when he cooks his brain. 
“I didn’t mean-” you say just as he exclaims loudly: “There’s a cat.”
“Where?” You ask, peering into the hedge. “I love cats.”
-x-
“This was nice,” you tell him after Dinner, the episode with the Cat now something you can laugh about. “Would you like to do it again sometimes?”
“Yes,” he nods slowly, “I’m sorry if I was a little loopy today. I took… uh, I forgot to take a nap.”
“Ah,” you smile, “You’re getting old too? If I don’t get my usual lunch nap I’m not so nice to be around.”
Shouta laughs. “Somehow I find that hard to believe. You’re very nice to be around.”
“You think so?” You ask, heart skipping a beat when he nods.
“How are your hands?” He looks down at them, “Can I hold them? Or do they still hurt?”
“If you don’t squeeze them I should be fine,” you say, praying that it’s the truth.
It is a little uncomfortable, if you were to tell the truth, but he’s gentle and your heart blooms at the implications.
If only you could put this moment in a jar, keep it for all the days where it’s hard to get up.
 -
“So?” Rumi leans over your desk, grinning wide. “Gimme the scoop.”
“We went out, it was amazing, I don’t know when I’m going to see him again.”
“That’s not the scoop, that’s a short summary. I want every detail. Also, what does it mean you don’t know when you-”
The ringtone of your phone cuts her off. You take a peak only to gasp.
“It’s him. He’s calling.”
“Well, pick up. I’ll come back as soon as you’re finished. And I want all the details.”
-
It’s hard to find time for another date.
Shouta works two fulltime jobs and you’re overwhelmed with just one.
But he calls or texts every day, sending you pics of cats whenever he’s out on patrol.
It’s nice, but it could be nicer.
When he asks what you’re doing and you’re in bed, pain holding you down, you cannot tell him the truth. Because he doesn’t know the truth. And telling him over the phone seems insensitive.
Sometimes he sounds pretty loopy when he calls and you wonder if he’s getting enough sleep. But when you ask him about it he evades the question so masterfully, that you only remember it hours after the call.
“I think I have to come clean,” you tell Rumi one day during lunch, your hands in thick compression gloves to combat the pain. “This season is hitting me hard and I cannot postpone our next date again just because I cannot go anywhere without a cane.”
“I’m sure it’s going to go well. From what you’ve told me about him he seems very nice.”
“Yeah,” you sigh,”so nice I don’t want to lose him.”
-x-
Of all the moments for a migraine to hit, this has to be the worst. 
Okay, maybe the second worst, because he’s not currently fighting someone.
But he’s been pressing his temple against the fridge doors of this Konbini for half an hour now, clearly unsettling the other shoppers, and his painkillers are far, far away in his car’s glove compartment.
Every time he thinks he’s got it now, turning away from the coldness has his lunch rise up in his throat.
“Shouta?” A familiar voice asks and the ice seeps into his veins. It’s you.
“No, I’m not Shouta. You must mistake me for someone else.”
“You’re wearing a nametag. Backward, but you’re wearing it.”
He sighs. “Can you just pretend you’re not seeing me?”
“I could, but why?”
“This is embarrassing.”
“I mistook you for a homeless man, I think we’ve already reached top embarrassment.”
“I’m having a Migraine.”
“See,” he can hear the encouragement in your voice, knows exactly how your mouth curls at the words even if he cannot see it. “That’s very low on the embarrassment list. Do you need a painkiller?”
“Yeah, but they’re in my car.”
“What are you using.”
“I doubt you have that. You can only get it via prescription.”
Shouta names it, hears you chuckle.
“Oh, you bet I got that. One pill is enough, right?”
“Right.” He can hear rustling before a pill is pressed into his hands. He swallows it dry. 
“It will take me a minute to come to my senses.”
“No worry at all. I can stay here with you.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Oh, but I want to. By the way… the Bloodwork… was that about your Migraine?”
“Yeah,” he swallows around the lump in his throat. “And other stuff.”
“Mhm.” Some more rustling.
“How did you get those pills by the way? You don’t work in a pharmacy, right?”
“Oh, no, I don’t deal drugs if that’s what you’re asking.” You laugh, but it tapes off awkwardly. “I… I suffer from chronic pain.”
“I’m sorry.”
You laugh again, but you don’t sound amused. “Yeah, me too.”
Silence settles between them. Slowly, the pain in his head eases into something manageable and he peels himself away from the cool glass to look at you.
You’re staring at the ground, a cane in your hands. 
“I’m going to be pretty loopy for the rest of the day,” he tells you, lump in his throat, “But do you wanna grab a coffee after this?”
The surprise in your eyes tells you what he’d already assumed. You’re not used to people accepting your condition as something that just is. 
“Might ask you some questions as soon as my head works properly again,” he adds like a threat, “but for now I’d just like to look at you. You’re really pretty.”
“You’re really loopy,” you giggle.
“Mhm, it’s going to get even worse, sugardrop.” His hand finds your elbow, careful to avoid your hands and you knock your head lightly against his shoulder.
You’re probably a weird-looking couple to the outside world, but he’s never cared much about that anyway.
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bluevaractyl · 3 months
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Woooo LU update! "Entrance"
Looks like we were right, the dungeon is the same one Twilight chased the Shadow through. Even in this earlier time, it's apparently a ruin. I have lots of questions about the nature and origin of the dungeons in LoZ. Warriors calls them "old tombs," and Legend echoes this with "Hyrule's tombs." Was that the original purpose of most of them? Or are they just referring to the way many dungeons are dark, dank, underground, and/or haunted by undead creatures? Interesting word choice.
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I am very curious about what Hyrule is referring to. Is he aware that some of the items he has found belonged to the hero before him (Legend)? Which ones? The handy/power glove? Power bracelet? Red and blue rings? Is the headcanon that Legend made Hyrule's dolls going to be made canon?? (Also I love their expressions, especially Wind's.)
Love the mention of monsters unique to dungeons! I am so excited to see more. Hyrule is absolutely correct, wallmasters are gross and very annoying. The skulltula was very creepy. Good job, Jojo.
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Their reactions here are interesting. Legend is unfazed, shield out but holding steady. Wild, on the other hand, is stumbling out of the way with an expression I cannot put words to, but which appears on my face when I find a spider on the ceiling at 2 am. He has not encountered giant man-eating spiders in his travels and it shows. Also, the return of Time's bow! He is a pretty good shot for missing an eye. I wonder if he had to learn to adjust his aim. Shooting down skulltulas in dungeons is probably taking him back to his own adventures. Maybe not so good memories.
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Legend's little prank with the scarf is cementing my realization that he and Warriors really do like to mess with each other. It is also making me wonder if monsters are ever going to do the same. @w1lmuttart made an art pointing out how the Links' attire could be used against them. Yikes!
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Twilight is very much on Time's mind. He's worried. I like the detail of Wind in that panel too, since Time has been growing closer to him as they've discovered their connection. It's also easy to see the family resemblance in Time and Twilight's expressions and features here. Warriors makes a good call, but Time knows "it's dangerous to go alone." I wonder how they will end up splitting up.
All images from @linkeduniverse "Entrance"
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hotvintagepoll · 6 months
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Propaganda
Lena Horne (Cabin in the Sky, Stormy Weather)— Incredibly talented biracial actress, singer, dancer, and activist (she did so much work towards integrating audiences). Because of the racism of the era, she rarely got to be the lead actress but filmmakers loved her so much that they would often create stand alone segments within a film to highlight her beautiful singing, knowing that these segments would ultimately be cut from the film by censors in areas that forbid films with Black performers. Also, she's just so wonderful in Cabin in the Sky as a gold-digger villain who is not the least bit subtle about her intentions. I would highly recommend checking out her work.
Ginger Rogers (Swing Time, Top Hat)—Look I’ll level with you, I’ve never seen her in a musical and I know that she’s an amazing dancer and she’ll be even hotter when I finally watch Top Hat but I’m not submitting her as a dancer I’m submitting her as an ACTRESS. Her comic timing is impeccable!!!!! She’s full to bursting with life and in every role she seems to be having FUN, you can practically feel the twinkle in her eye. With her natural warmth it’s like she’s letting you in on the joke, y’all get to have this fun together! Making me laugh is hot!!! [If you'd like to see Ginger dance, videos below the cut]
This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
Lena Horne:
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Black American powerhouse singer and actor who faced all the usual bullshit that any BIPOC faced in vintage Hollywood and achieved legendary status anyway. Also a Civil Rights movement icon.
She was a gem
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She was so beautiful and those dimples are amazing! Truly depressing how badly Hollywood treated her because she was black. I would love to have seen what she really could have been if they didn’t cast her in so many yikes roles. She’s got gorgeous eyes and that body! Her joyful smile makes happiness sexy!
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Civil rights actress, singer, dancer, actress, she's got the whole package
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Lena Horne was a wonderful singer and actress who largely starred in black cast musicals. While she had a lot of main stream success, she ultimately lost the lead role in showboat (a role she had played on the stage) to a white actress due to hollywood's prejudices. She was also blacklisted during the HUAC hearings, but she still managed to be hot be hot as fuck and have a career spanning decades, working with more well-known stars like Judy Garland in musicals, and working on stage and releasing albums when her hollywood career began to suffer.
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Miss Horne became famous during a period of time when Hollywood had very few meaningful roles for people of color. Although she is more so known as a performer, she starred in two successful all black productions (Cabin in the Sky & Stormy Weather). If that wasn't enough, she also guest starred on the Muppets (Season 1, Episode 11)
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Ginger Rogers propaganda:
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She needs no introduction! An undeniable powerhouse on the dancefloor, and no less talented an actress. I once watched a compilation of cinema's greatest dance scenes and one of her and Fred Astaire's dances was featured, and one of the talking heads said he pitied her for 'having to keep up with him' - or something to that effect. Bullshit, I cry. Ginger Rogers was his absolute equal, and underplaying her incredible skill is downright criminal. I want the 'Cheek to Cheek' sequence from Top Hat to be permanently burned into my memory.
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"Backwards in high heels", as the saying goes (though the pedant in me must point out that she in fact spent her fair share of time leading or dancing side-by-side). One of the earliest twinkle-toed ladies of the silver screen, and in terms of acting/persona, her balance of wide-eyed cuteness and movie-star glamour has never quite been replicated.
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we all know her beloved string of musicals with fred but ginger also has an extensive and varied non-fred filmography that she's great in! a few ginger moments that are important 2 me personally ginger singing “we’re in the money” in gold diggers of 1933, complete with a verse in pig latin bc this whole movie is kinda mocking the concept of anyone actually being in the money in 1933; ginger and una merkel singing a verse of “shuffle off to buffalo” in 42nd street, providing some statler & waldorf-esque commentary on newlyweds from the upper berth of a railway car (interesting that belly was apparently a risque word in 1933 - maybe its bc the lyric is innuendo-ing about out of wedlock pregnancies - and that panties was a term for men’s underthings!); a favorite fred & ginger number
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Ginger Rogers could do everything! She could sing, dance and act. She was hilarious in comedies, moving in dramatic roles (she won an Oscar for Kitty Foyle in 1940) and absolutely gorgeous!
Listen, no shade to Fred Astaire at all, but she both kept up with him step for step and then later went on to WIN AN OSCAR FOR ACTING. (which he did not.) truly a double threat!!!
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One of the best dancers in Hollywood! Her work with Fred Astaire is just incredible.
ONE LINE: "Everything Fred did, Ginger did backwards and in heels" AND THEYRE RIGHT! Rogers was a total dance badass, and a lot of movie buffs know the story, but the Never Gonna Dance number from Swing Time took almost 50 takes, and allegedly by the end of filming it her white shoes had been stained pink because her feet were bleeding. As a note, she looks crazy gorgeous in this number. Watching these two dance is insane. They match up to each other in a way my mom describes as "divine" and she's right. DANCE NUMBERS!
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Let's Call The Whole Thing Off (Shall We Dance, 1937, dancing starts at 3:14, they're in ROLLERSKATES)
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(Ginger Rogers is the hottest woman ever to live in this number. seeing this as a teenager altered my brain chemistry)
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(also watch her feet and how she moves opposite Astaire in this one. We all know our boy Freddie had that precision demon but jesus christ Miss Rogers, let a girl live!)
Pick Yourself Up, Swing Time 1936 (Everyone's seen this one but by god you are going to see it AGAIN!)
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Shall We Dance, 1937 (duet begins at 2:34)
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Smoke Gets In Your Eyes, Roberta 1935 (There's just something about Ginger Rogers in a slick black dress man)
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The Continental, The Gay Divorcee 1934
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God she's MAGIC in this one.
Gay Divorcee's Ending Montage 1934
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The infamous table and chairs spin happens at about 0:49. Pay CLOSE attention to her in this bc it looks like witchcraft and I feel lightheaded whenever I watch this movie bc shes THAT awesome.
She is a miracle to watch. Sorry for the sheer amount of clips. My entire family is like madly in love with Ginger Rogers.
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