#still i have my precious now and can rewatch it

[mellxncollie]

hiiii alex and now i have no choice but to drop all the process info and the outtakes :)

overall impression: very lovely and moody and spooky!! i kinda expected more blood-reds from devlin house but i should've known better, you wouldn't go for something that cliché. as always the shots you chose are SO good, love the combo of very dramatic shots with way more subtle ones!

aaaaa okay okay yes definitely not a lot of 'expected' shots in this one. couple reasons for this:

episode 3 is not one that i can watch very much, there's too many triggers in there for me. it's only very recently that i'm now able to rewatch it in its entirety, and i still have a hard time screencapping for it. so... not too many gifs from inside the devlin house

not a lot of shots in these episode work well for these palette sets. unlike all the other episodes, this one does not have many establishing shots or wide shots, which are the ones i like to use for these gifs. of the few establishing shots that are used, many are relatively static, so they don't look great as gifs. plus a lot of the devlin house shots have flashing lights and/or are very short. this made it really difficult to just find scenes that would work

so, this is a little less of a cohesive set than the other two, and i think the rest of the episodes will have more cohesive palette sets than this one as well. i love how this episode is shot, cheryl dunye's avoidance of 'filler' shots really reminds me of her film the watermelon woman, and while that movie does have more wide shots and more cohesive colors, the focus in on the characters as opposed to the backgrounds is what makes this episode feel so much like her work. it really drives home this episode as a standout in terms of writing, visuals, and direction.

it just also... breaks out of a form that i rely on to make these gifs work. so: less cohesive colors. i'm glad that this didn't exactly come across, and that we still have a kind of moody vibe :)

gif 1: cindy my beloved!! oh my god i need to see edwin laughing like that. i need CHARLES to see edwin laughing like that! and niko is so precious, i love her and her green coat. speaking of! love the way she moves past the colour blocks and almost adds contrast to them until she reaches the green and basically blends in?? SUCH a cool effect. and i love the colours themselves, the green + goldish vibe is everything. the green in the shot is so dramatic that it's like a fun little puzzle to find the rest of the colours! and then you realise, oh wait, that's the majority of the picture. ceiling, chairs, cabinet, niko and cindy's hair. and cindy being represented by the colour palette, drawing her undeniably into the picture because she can actually be seen by everyone around her, the opposite of ghostly, is SO cool. and then the contrast of the bright (blueish?) white?? the way it contrasts so much with niko's coat that at first i couldn't see where you got it from, only when niko moves back it blends perfectly into the window in the background?? olly you are a GENIUS

honestly i didn't really realize how this looks with niko's movement adjusting how the green and the blue all suddenly mix in with the rest of the gif!! but you're right, it's very cool!

this gif was a bit of a challenge, and with all those browns i initially thought it might be on the chopping block. but then i came around to liking it enough to make it the first gif in the set.

here's a before/after of the colors i put on it, and you can see that the blue is basically not even in the original shot, and it was only after i adjusted the blue channel to decrease that yellow tint that the blue really showed up.

gif 2: JENNY JENNY JENNY! this is a wild one because it's such a mundane part of the scene and yet i can't stop looking at the dramatic colouring. SHE!!! also the colours you chose feel very similar to the jenny gif from ep1, which, to be clear, i mean SO positively. i love that it ties them together! also something something jenny in her black clothes being surrounded by so much colour as symbolism to what crystal and niko bring to her life. brb crying

out of all the gifs in this set, this is definitely one of my favorites. mostly just cause the shot is really cool, nothing to do with the colors or anything. but speaking of the colors!! yes they're a lot like the ep 1 gif, and it's so fascinating to me how they pack so many hues into jenny's shop via the lighting.

gif 3: HI SPOOKY SHOT OF ALL TIME 😍😍😍 one of those dramatic ones i NEVER want to look away from. loveeeeeee the red-orange reflections on them, the purple of crystal's coat, the blue of edwin's shirt. also getting into the symbolism again but the way most of the colours are drawn from crystal and the background (even the blue is present in her grey shirt/jacket/whatever that is) and it makes the boys feel even more ghostly. ESPECIALLY CHARLES?? WHO ONLY RECEIVES RED BACKLIGHTING?? AND SPENDS THE EP GRAPPLING WITH HIS OWN HELPLESSNESS?? THE ONLY ONE UNTOUCHED BY BLUE (AKA SYMBOLIC OF HEAVEN)?? I'M MAKING MYSELF SICK WITH THIS OH GOD

yipeee!! one of my favorite shots of this episode, but one of my least favorite shots in the whole series to gif (that i've been making gifs of more and more to force myself to figure out how to do it best) and honestly because of that, i wasn't sure if this would make the final cut either.

here's two recent(ish) uses of this scene in various gifsets, both of which i don't really like how the final gif turned out.

this is because the original shot is....

so aggressively blue/green on their faces and that it is very difficult to make this look good.

i wanted the final gif for this set to be a bit more orange and a bit less red, but i'm glad i kept the more red toned backlight, since that allowed gif 8 to feel different enough. and i'm actually pretty okay with how this one turned out, espeically because you get the purple and the blues in their costumes.

also, just for fun, here's what this gif would look like if i did some normal brightening and coloring, but didn't do anything to fix their skintones 🫠

and yeah. god. thinking about charles 'untouched by blue.' fuck.

gif 4: SUCH a lovely little shot! the blues from edwin's outfit, the greenish-gray i'm guessing from the stripes (very nice and subtle, love the choice to emphasise them!), the white from his shirt. and then BAM, gold for the bracelet of homosexuality. but even then it's a very subtle colour choice for it, i can see some of the background is the same colour, even the darker parts of edwin's shirt cuffs. it's like you, via the palette, are helping him hide the bracelet and. i'm just in love

one of my favorite gifs in this set! it is really fun, and you got all the color sources right! i did want to include another color from the bracelet, but most of the colors i was sampling just didn't look too good with the blues, so i used the white from his shirt and i think that really worked.

gif 5: monty!! the return of niko's green coat!! love the cool (ha!) colours, mixed in with the warmer browns. the blue is so subtle in monty's plaid shirt (and the port townsend sign if i'm not mistaken?) the brown/burgundy in monty's scarf and shirt and the trees in the background really draws it all together! plus the green in both niko's coat and the trees' leaves! also interesting to see here the colours you didn't choose for the palette, like the white of niko's hair and monty's books. not to get too deep into it but it feels like a sign that it's not niko monty's trying to connect to, even though edwin isn't even in the frame! and the darker brown feels sort of similar to edwin's coat but that might just be grasping at straws lmao

the blue is from monty's shirt, yeah! this one was hard to pick colors for, and you totally got it with all the colors i'm leaving out. also because of the 540px x 500px frame size, we're also leaving out edwin from this shot. so maybe there's something there too about leaving out colors. (and now that i'm looking at it again, i do think that off-white would have been a great way to tie this palette together)

gif 6: OH DEVLIN HOUSE WE'RE REALLY IN IT NOW. obsessed with the way you subverted expectations with the devlin house being so blue and monotone, vs how we tend to read it as this dramatic high-stakes situation with so much blood spilled. again with the symbolism but it feels like it speaks so much more to the nature of the thirty-year (!!!) loop and how to the victims of it it's not dramatic but just the same cycle they can't get out of. over and over and over. and crystal and charles' expressions in this one OUGH. crystal trying immediately to find a way to help, to free these women, and charles is seeing his worst nightmare and trying desperately to suppress it. again, charles' helplessness represented by none of his colours making it onto the palette, even though his shirt is still pretty red. his hero colour is represented only as its worst in this house

i wanted at least one mostly monotone gif in this set, and the devlin house is predominantly teal and yellow, so it's such a strong contender for a monotone shot. problem with the yellows is that they're hard to make look good if there's a person in frame, so blues it was! i had a lot of blue shots to choose from, because every time the loop resets the power cuts and they're plunged into darkness. and i think there's something really symbolic there for charles (oh and now i'm thinking about the way that he drops into the water in the next episode when the night nurse forces the flashback)

and yeah, the first two colors are sampled from crystal's clothes, and the final three are from the wall. and now that i think of it, none of these palettes use colors sampled from charles/his clothes, despite this being really his episode. makes me think about what you said for the tube gif in the ep 1 set, how not sampling from them makes them more of a ghost in their own gif. anywayyyysssssssss

gif 7: can i just say. obsessed with the parallels of the last two gifs, showing the pre- and post-devlin house feelings? at first i thought this one was from the end of ep3, after gif 8, but just from seeing charles and crystal's interaction it's obviously not OUGH. love the wide shot of them (and the cinematography lessons!! the focus falloff at the top. i am Looking), the greens of the trees and the brown of the leaves and the purple of crystal's coat (ooh and the sign!). some of the purple even seems to come across in charles' jacket! and the blue of the statue also being in edwin and charles' socks and crystal's shirt. it ties them all together in a way that contrasts so much with the effect devlin house has in breaking them apart. forever emotional about ittttt

so this one is actually post-devlin house. it's right as charles says he's fine and right before niko shows up. it's the last gif in this set chronologically, but i don't really go by chonological order in these sets, since i want the first and last gifs to be strong, and i don't want any two palettes side-by-side to feel too similar.

i am now thinking about how charles and crystal's interaction in here realllllyyyyy doesn't feel like post-devlin house.

anyway. colors. yeah. that purple being the same in crystal's coat and the sign was such a blessing. and every time i throw a surprise blue in to these palettes i think of you. it definitely is the bit that pulls this palette together.

(yes i was also thinking about the focus falloff here, it is soooo wildly intense in this shot)

gif 8: AND FINAL SHOT. devlin house is over (or is it??) the colours nearly blending in with the background and then contrasted against charles' coat. i'd say SYMBOLISM but i'm sure you're sick of hearing it by now lmaooo. the bright lights in the background are SO striking. and the green??? the way it reflects so dramatically against the orange specifically on edwin's face??? i know that's not death's light shining on them but it sure is interesting how often edwin is the one bathed in that colour of light.......... also this might be a reach but the way crystal's jacket/hoodie/whatever seems to be a similar shade of green-grey, tying her and edwin together as having found common ground in the devlin house, vs charles again being the least represented by the colour palette -- devlin house might be over but he still feels helpless. i'm sure nothing bad will come of that!

the first 10ish frames of this gif are some of my favorites in this entire episode. i just love how this shot looks, and if it was a bit longer, i wouldn't have even had them running into frame. but that little bit of the trio that we do get is so interesting to get to hear you talk about. because i was not paying attention to how they blend in (or don't) to the palette.

--

so. what about the outtakes? first we have this one:

really like this shot. couldn't figure out the palette. i wanted some of that green from the interior wall of the attic space, but it doesn't sample as very green (yay for color theory!) and the few pixels that do sample as green do not look very good next to the rest of the colors.

here's the other outtake gif:

now that i'm looking back at the whole set, i think this one would have been a really good addition to make the whole set feel more cohesive, but i'm not sure which gif i would have cut instead to keep it at 8, so that's probably why i cut it in the first place. this one is kind of fun since the green is not from niko at all, but from the grass below. i initially made this gif with a monochrome palette, but right before i exported it, i noticed just how much green is in there, and decided to use some of it. glad i did, and i am really happy with this gif.

i'd say i can never be normal about this but you already know that. love this, love you, thank you forever for blessing us with your gorgeous gifs!!!

i'm so glad that you can't be normal about these because i also can't be normal about making gifs and i love that i get the opportunity to do this kind of breakdown for them. thank you thank you thank you alex. you're wonderful!!

Dead Boy Detectives (2024) 1.03 — The Case of the Devlin House (insp)

[mirohlayo]

THE ONLY ONE | LN4

( lando and you are on a break because of an argument. but he needs you back. )

warning : angst, fluff, some jealousy, happy ending ofc

word count : 5.1k

note : the longest thing i have ever written with 5k words 😭 pretty proud of it, hope it's not too long lol

!! english not my first language !!

lando sighs as he watches for around the 30th time your instagram story. it was a picture of your outfit of the day, but the little detail - or big detail for him - was the unknown man standing next to you and his clothes matching with yours. lando can't help but rewatch again and again your story throughout all the day. of course, he loves your outfit. he thinks everything suits you, either an elegant dress or just a big hoodie. it was not the problem. but why the fuck your outfit matched with the one of an other man than him ? he just don't understand. usually, he would be and was the only one to match with your outfit. it was kind of your love language, and lando loves it. every time you asked him to wear the same clothes as you, he never refused the offer and even lend you one of his hoodie. it is something very special for him, so when he saw you doing this with an other man than him, he really didn't like it. actually, he hated it.

and the worse ? he is once again looking at your story, laying in your shared bed in his monaco apartment, clinging to your pillow. oh poor him. there is still the scent of you and your shampoo filled in the pillow you used to sleep on when you passed the nights with your loved one. he's holding onto it anytime he's missing you, which is basically every minutes. he smells your fragrance, finding so much comfort in it. and he would also imagines you next to him, cuddling his body and playing with his hair. but these are just memories now. it seems long time ago for him, when the last time you saw each other was actually around 3 weeks now. but it was not a good last time. completely the opposite. and he curses himself when he remembers what happened that day.

"fuck, who is this... thing ? guy ?" he says, throwing his phone over the blankets. for real, who was this man next to you ? have you already forget him and moved on ? but no, you guys are still together. theoretically. yes, the last time you talked to each other was during an argument, but when you left him all alone in his apartment, you didn't say you broke up with him. you just left, furious and mostly hurt. you were on a break. you didn't talk together since the argument, didn't send any text messages that you both would always send every hours because of how much you missed each other. 3 weeks without any contacts. but the thing you don't know is lando still looking at your social medias accounts everyday, missing you dearly. sometimes he hesitates, if he should like or not your stories.

every days, every hours, every minutes, every seconds are hurtful without you. he's still playing again and again in his head the last smile he captured of you. he is missing you so fucking bad. and the only person he can blame is himself. yes, he is the one to blame at. he was the one who started the argument and the one to say the most rude and hurtful words. and he feels so much guilty about it. he can't stand the fact he was the one who hurt and upset the most precious person to his eyes. everything is his fault. and now he thinks he's just a fool who don't deserve you. it pains so much his heart, and he's getting sick of it. he needs you again. he needs to see you again. he needs to kiss and hug you again.

he let a scream out, overthinking about the situation. he grabs his phone and opens the text app. he clicks on your name, and starts typing something. but what ? hello ? hi ? can we talk together ? no. he just can't send you some stupid messages and thinks everything will be perfect again like 3 weeks ago. what was he thinking ? he sighs longly and decides to take a shower to stop thinking about you. but he damn knows that's impossible because every single thing reminds him of you.

like taking showers. you would often showered with him because he loves showering together. washing your hair and hugging you to warm your freezing body meanwhile the cold water was turning hot. and then after you doing his haircare routine, styling his damp curls while he was just looking at you with adoration. or when you guys would spend your evenings together, cuddling close under a woolen plaid on the couch, watching a movie until one of you two would fall asleep. or when you cooked some recipes and it ended up in a food battle. god he's craving of those moments again. he really needs to do something...

-

race day. it is sunday today and of course lando have to race. he don't know it, but you are in the paddock club. yes, even if you're on a break in your relationship, you couldn't miss a race and decided to attend it. those last 3 weeks, you didn't miss a single one races. you didn't attend them, because you were still hurt by lando's words and you didn't want his fans to see you present there, so you just watched the races and your papaya driver on the tv. but you missed so much seeing him in reality, so you attend today's race. of course, you are wearing glasses and a cap to not be recognizable. and you're also sitting in a hidden corner.

lando has no clue that you are here, watching his car moving around. and you have no clue that he is thinking about you and the way he's going to apologize to you. so as the race passes, you keep an eye on his car. your heart and your being feels weird. the amount of love you have for him is still here, and it never shaded away for the past 3 weeks. not a single bit. but of course you are still upset and hurt. the words he said to you broke you into tears. you love him so much, never you loved someone like that. so when he told you those mean things, you felt weak. and very very sad.

in a blink, the race is already finished. fans wave at the drivers who are celebrating the podium with their race team. you smile, admiring the place. you would be lying if you said you didn't missed races. you were always happy to attend one. maybe for the race, or maybe just to spend more time with lando. by the way, he didn't finish on the podium but still get p4. and despite the fact you are still gloomy, you are proud of him, like usually. because he's just the best after all.

now you have to leave the track. of course, you would have love to stay and join your favorite driver, but he don't know you are here and you don't want him to see you. because nobody has already apologize. and it's been 3 weeks since you haven't seen and spoken to him. it would be awkwardly embarrassing. so you have to take precautions and be prudent to not be seen by any mclaren team member. you go down the balcony's stairs, lowering your head and hiding your face with the cap. of course it has to be an orange cap, because it is the only hat you have. an other way to be even more discreet, huh. but it works well. you are now in the paddock area, just in front of the mclaren one. you recognize a lot of engineers and people who work with your boyfriend and you hope deep inside you they don't see and recognize you. but it seems like you failed it.

"y/n ?" oh. oh... it's not just anyone. it's not just a random maclaren team member. no. it is him. it's his voice. his voice that you missed hearing. it's lando norris. you stop, and don't know what to do. and don't know how to react. so you stay like this, turning your back on him. "y/n ? is it you ?" you close your eyes and exhale, you're not really in the mood to talk to him. the only person you shouldn't meet is now facing you. you turn around and keep your head low, you don't have the force to look at him.

you just remove your glasses and put them in your pocket. "why are you here ?" he asks confused, but you can tell he's concerned about it. "to... support you, i guess ?". you finally give up and cross his gaze. and it aches your heart. he looks tired, i mean of course he just finished a 2 hours race but still he looks even tired than usually. his face is pale, doesn't have much color. and his eyes are so tiny, so many emotions in them. "oh ok. huhh thank you...". he answers awkwardly. you bite your lower lip, the atmosphere is, well, very awkward yes. "so, how are you?" you ask to get rid of this tension.

how he is ? fuck this question. he doesn't even want to answer. does he really need to say that he blames himself every day, that he can't sleep because of how much he cries thinking about you, that he skips dinners because of how bad he's feeling ? he never felt like that with any person. it is the first time his whole being aches that much. but he can't tell you that, he knows you will not forgive him that easily. "good. and you ?" he says, avoiding your gaze. "good too" you hum sotfly. he knows damn well that's a lie, because even your tone betrayed you. he tries to take a look at you. his heart squeezes in pain, the view in front of him is heartbreaking. you look as tired as him. and as pale as him too. where is the smile he loves so much gone ? the shining sparkles in your pretty eyes ?

he fights the urge to pull you in his arms. but he's the one at fault, he can only blame himself. "hum, i'll go now" "no." he answers back to back and you look at him confused and surprised. "i-i mean you're going back to monaco ?" he stutters. "no, i'll join a friend of mine" you says coldly. "oh... ok..." god he sounds so sad, it pains you. you struggles to not hug him. because yes, you're hurt, but you still love him like crazy. "well... oh and good job today" you quickly say and starts to leave, not wanting to stay more here. you don't turn back, but lando is now smiling softly, watching you fade away in the crowd. "thank you, love" he whisper to himself.

he sighs, blinking slowly. now memories are coming back, and he remembers what happened that night, when everything went wrong in only one second.

- -

you were very tired. a hard day of work. so when you came home, in your lover's apartment in monaco, all you wanted was to follow him around like a puppy and cuddle him. you were so clingy and so needy. it was rare, very very rare for you to be like that, all clingy and needy, so when that night you doubled it, it was kind of surprising and shocking. usually, lando loves when you get clingy, when you want him all for yourself. because it not happens often, so of course he cherishes these moments. but that night, it was different. he didn't like the way you acted with him. you kept following him around the apartment, touching him gently and innocently. like grabbing his hand, placing soft kisses on his cheeks, back hugs. you just wanted his attention. you just wanted your lover. but he didn't seems he felt the same about you. first, he didn't care much. he just didn't returned back your affection. but the more you were getting clingy, the more he was getting angry. he started to hate it.

you tried to kiss him on the lips and instead of kissing you back roughly, he turned his head and your lips pressed against his cheek. you paused for a second, confused. you frowned and tried to understand why he did that. why your lover didn't return back your hugs ? your kisses ? why he acted like you didn't even exist ? you placed your hand on his forearm but he shifted. your heart squeezed, why was he like this ? usually, he was the neediest one and the one getting even clingier. you were lost.

"baby, why you don't kiss me back ?" you asked softly. lando sighed and he seemed annoyed. he didn't even dare to reply. which hurt you. you moved and stopped before him. "something is wrong ? something bothers you ?" you tried to understand why he was in this mood, you wanted to help him talk about whatever bothered his thoughts. but you didn't expect to hear that. "yes, you." he hissed. your face deformed. did you hear well ? "w-what ?" you stuttered. "you. it's you. you fucking annoy me". you blinked and took some few steps back. your being hurt, your heart was broken. "what do you mean ?"

"you're so clingy and needy and i fucking hate it. stop being like that and stop touching me. you're so annoying" he threw these words at you, giving you a death look as his furrowed his brows. oh pain was real. you felt weak, you thought it was all a dream. but no, your lover was here, saying harsh words to you and kept hurting your poor little heart. and while you tried to understand his behavior - because he would never talk bad to you like that - a bulb lighted in your head.

it was qualifying. you remembered lando's week went bad and hard for him. bad practices, no luck, his slow car, his poor performance... nothing went right. and you knew how much f1 had an important impact on him and his mental health. he was so hard on himself and sometimes he would overthink about why he sucks at racing. this explains why he was acting like a shit with you. you knew it was that. he didn't want to do a bad race tomorrow. so instead of calm down and talk about it with you, he let out all his anger on you. it was like he took you as a punching ball and kept punching you, until you broke in pieces. you understand how he felt, racing is his job, he has to be the best. but let out his anger on your poor person even though you did nothing wrong, you couldn't take that. yes, he had the right to be angry and annoyed and whatever, but being harsh towards you won't make his performance better. so you tried to talk with him. or maybe argue with him.

"lando, please. i know you don't mean what you say." he stared at you and then walk closer to you. his gaze get through yours, and a storm appeared in it. "yes, i mean it y/n. you're getting on my nerves and i don't like that. maybe i don't like you too". wow. it was harsh. it was like getting stabbed again and again. he don't like you ? he really meant it ? now you were about to cry. tears filled your eyes, and you breathed harder to not let them run. and of course lando noticed it. "what, really ? are you going to cry ? you're the one who started it all and you think you can cry ? gosh you're so pathetic y/n". you shook your head and looked away because you knew soon your tears will drop. was he saying bullshit now ? "oh, you're really crying" he made fun of you and your statement. but you couldn't stand here and just cry. you had to speak up, to explain how you felt and explain that letting out his anger on you was not the solution. "please lando stop. i know it's because of racing that you're acting like that. you can be upset and annoyed but it can't justify the fact you burst your emotions on me. i did nothing wrong, i just want to help yo-" "it's not about racing !!!!" he yelled at you.

you almost jumped because of how much he scared you. he never yelled at you. never ever. he was so different from the lando you knew. lando was the perfect, caring, kindness boyfriend. who was so in love with you. not someone who yell and hurt you. "you can't even see it's you the problem. i don't need your shitty cuddles and hugs and everything. i never wanted you and i don't even need you. you sucks". "lando pleas-" "i wish i had never met you". and then he passed you to crawl on the couch, turning on the tv. he looked like he didn't even care about you anymore. your heart cried as your being hurt. the best thing that have ever came into your life just said he wish he had never met you. how hurtful it is. and you thought it was the race who made him angry like that, but it seemed like it's not the reason anymore. just him speaking maybe the truth and what he thinks about you. and you wished you were dreaming. but no, it was not.

you never had an argument with him. or when something was wrong, you would always talk about it. but it was so different. the person you loved the most broke you. pain, yeah, pain filled your body. it ached badly. you just wanted to leave. run far far away. so he couldn't hurt you anymore. "i'm leaving. i can't stay with you anymore so i'll go" "then go. get out of my apartment. i would be better off without you". it was one sentence too many. your tears ran down your cheeks, your face. you couldn't stop them. so you just leave, shutting the door behind you, as the one who broke you started to realize little by little what happened. and it was when guilt started to kick him.

-

"so fucking dumb you are" max says again, cursing at his friend's behavior towards you. "i know. don't remind me. i'm such an idiot" lando says again, cursing at himself. he is laying on his bed, re-watching your new instagram stories while max is sitting on the other side of the bed. "and for the fucking 40th time please stop looking at her stories. you've been doing this since this morning." max states, and try to grab his friend's phone who dodge it effortlessly. f1 driver reflexes yes. "then you stop sitting on this side of the bed. y/n's perfume will disappear because of you and your stinky scent". max rolls his eyes and finally stand up. "you're miserable".

lando sighs, and throws his phone over the blankets. "max help me... i'm so fucking lost without her." "but it's your own fault. you're the one to blame at". he shrugs and shake his head. "i know it's my fault max. don't you know i'm literally dying every single day because of how much i miss her ? that i'm crying because i will never find someone like her ? i'm in a shitty situation and i don't feel well because she's not with me. look, i'm in a pitiful state even though we did not even broken. what will i be like if we break up for real ? i don't even want to imagine it because i already know it will be awful." he passes his hand in his hair, ruffling them. "i've never felt like that about any exes, anyone. it's the first time i suffer like this, i don't know what to do...". max looks at his friend and his gaze softens. he hates seeing his best friend suffer, he can't stand it. "lando i can help you. and i will help you. but you have to promise me that you-" "SHE TEXTED ME !!!" lando suddenly screams.

"what ??" max jumps on the bed and sit next to him. "MAX !! SHE SENT ME A MESSAGE" lando is going crazy, he is just shocked. he don't even realizes what happens, he thinks he's dreaming. his heart is beating faster now. but max sighs as he reads the text you just sent, a simple "i'm coming to pick up some things in the evening". it is more a negative message because it means you're not staying in your boyfriend's apartment, but still lando is relieved by this one text. "lando, she's not staying. she's coming to pick up things because she don't want to live with you" "but it's her first text since 3 weeks ago ! she thinks about me too!"

max shakes his head and closes his eyes because he's getting a headache. "mate you don't get it" he says. but his friend don't listen, he is too focused on his phone. because he knows he's going to see her girlfriend soon, and he knows it will be the moment to apologize, to show her how much he cares about her. "max, help me. give me advices please. i'm listening". and then the two would spend the whole afternoon together, the streamer giving advices to the driver. lando is prepared, he don't want to loose his chance.

and then someone knocks on the door. he knows it is you because it's now around 6pm. max left 30 minutes ago. so it means you two will be alone together. lando almost tumbles because he ran towards the door at the speed of his mclaren livery. he takes a breath and opens the door.

oh.

your pretty face. the first thing he saw. his heart squeezes at the sight of you. your eyes, scanning his face and his body while he does the same for you. he can't believes you're standing in from of him, even though he saw you last week on sunday. but he's feeling worried now. you look super tired. dark circles under your tired eyes, your cheekbones more visible. you are as terrible as him. nobody dare to talk, and you start to feel awkward. "can i enter or maybe i just stay here until tomorrow ?" you say. "o-oh yes, come..." he shifts and you walk inside the apartment. and a weird feeling seizes you. every rooms of the apartment holds a memory from you and your boyfriend. the kitchen where he would cooks your breakfast, the living room where you would play karaokes. you feel nostalgic. and remember these memories makes you want to stay, to forgive lando, to be back together like before. but you put yourself together and fight this urge. you came for your things, not for him. or maybe it was also your intention. "how are you ?" he asks cautiously. "good. what about you ?" you reply. "good too". no, lies. from both of you.

you make your way to the bedroom. the first thing you see is your pillow above lando's one, as is he was sleeping on it. and the fact is that he was truly sleeping on it, your scent lulled him every nights. you put your suitcase on the bed and open it, you don't want to waste time. but there is a problem. and it's a big one. you have to sleep with lando tonight. not maybe in the same bed, but still you have to pass the night in his, well your shared apartment. those past 3 weeks, you were hosting at one of your friend's house. when lando asked you to moved in with him, you sold your old apartment. that's why you had nowhere to go, and lando was so worried about it but you weren't aware of it of course.

but your friend's parents were passing through and decided to pay a visit to your friend's house. you didn't want to intrude, so instead of worrying your friend you said you will buy an hotel room. what a coincidence you are now in your boyfriend apartment, sweating because you are scared to ask him to stay. so waiting for the fateful moment, you keep packing up things. you can also feel lando staring at you and his intense look burns your cheeks. "do you need anything ? you want something to eat ?" he asks sudenly, and you can hear he's caring about you by his tone. "no i'm okay, thank you" you simply answer.

your heart start pounding faster, and you sweat even more. god why were you so shy and scared ? he is your boyfriend after all, why would he refuse ? you play nervously with your necklace, the one lando gave you for your first date. you never took it off since now. "are you... okay ?" your boyfriend gives you a concerned look, he noticed you stopped packing your clothes. you take a deep breath and move to face him. "hum... can i..." your words don't want to leave your mouth. "can i stay here ? does it bothers you if i sleep here tonight ? if so then it's okay i will fin-" "no stay please." he rushes back. you look at him surprised. "i-i mean it doesn't bother me at all. you can sleep here". you give him a small smile and a little thank you. he smiles back, but unlike you it is a big, happy smile. the exact smile you love seeing from him. "huh, you can sleep on the bed, i'll go with the couch". he adds and you just nod.

lando just keep staring at you. of course, it disturbs you because sometimes you are putting useless things in your suitcase. he takes advantage of it to admire you. your body's silhouette he loved hugging, your shiny and soft hair he loved styling, your presence and its hold on him. you truly are precious to him. he knows he can't live without you in his life, it's just impossible. he needs you. not tomorrow, not in the next few hours. no. he needs you now. right now. he just can't stand the fact you're right here and can't kiss him or push him on the bed to cuddle him. he approaches you, and gently grabs your hand. surprisingly, you don't remove it and he melts down in the touch. "y/n... please listen to me". you sigh longly and turn your face to cross his eyes. you are also tired of it. even if he hurts you so bad, you can't stay far away from him because you need him as he needs you. "i'm listening". he strokes the back of your hand and takes your chin in his fingers to lift up your head, forcing you to look at him.

"i'm so fucking sorry y/n. so so sorry. you have no idea how much i blame myself and i feel so guilty every day. i'm the worst boyfriend ever, i don't even deserve you. every single minutes i keep thinking about what i said that day and if i could i would go back in time. because i regret so much those hurtful and cruel words i said to you. and you have to believe me, i didn't meant not a single word. i can't stand the fact that i'm the one who hurt you when i said i would punch the person who would did it". you try to reply back but he's so into it now. "please let me finish. i love you. i'm so madly and deeply in love with you. if you ever ask me to bring down the stars and the moon for you i'll do it. i would do anything for you. i love you. i have never loved someone like that. even with my exes, i never felt like that before, i never wanted someone so bad than you. you're the only one for me. nobody can replace you y/n. you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and i'll never let anything and anyone taking you from me. i need you in my life and i want you in my life because i can't imagine it without you. when i said i would be better without you, i so fucking lay. it's completely the opposite, i'm nothing without you. i would do anything for you to forgive me. because you're the only one, and you'll always be the only one."

tears are now running down his cheeks. and yours too. gosh he just let everything out, he has never been so desperate over someone. you can't stand it anymore and hug him tightly. he melts down in your hug and squeezes you. oh he missed you so much. he hides his wet face in the crook of your neck and keeps crying like a baby. you rub his back slowly and place a soft kiss on his hair. "i love you too lando. i'm so in love with you and i also need you." you simply say, because you know he already knows you're infatuated with him. and you guys stayed like that for fifteen minutes, lando keeping his arms around you. he don't want to let you go. he's so afraid of it now. "let's go cuddle in the bed. or maybe you still hate it" you tease him gently. "no. please. cuddle me. be clingy and needy, i'm only asking for it. don't go away from me." you two crumble into the bed and put the blankets over your bodies. lando curls up against you, his grip tight on you that you can barely breathe. he hides once again his head in the crook of your neck and one of his hand slips under your shirt, stroking your back. you start playing with his curls, something he loves and craves very much.

"i love you so much my baby" he suddenly says. you smile and peck his side profile. "me too lan". he lift up his head and your looks cross. he can't help it and a silly smile takes place on his lips. and he leans in, kissing you softly, your warm lips against his. he missed kissing you, so he really struggles to pull back. "besides i was such a liar. i'm the most needy and clingy one." you laugh hard and kiss him once again. he returns back the kiss and traces his way to your neck, planting soft kisses on it. "no for real, i would literally die without your cuddles. and just without you actually". you giggle and, you spend the rest of the night together. showering together again, cooking together again, playing karaokes together again. and of course, he didn't slept on the couch. but in your warm embrace which he's sure he'll never leave.

[myeagleexpert]

Yan!Batfamily x Singer!YN (neglected)

Inspired by @@gotham-daydreams's fic, your work is wonderful and makes me think about many things…. One of the things I think about is if they found Reader from her music…. Reader here is heavily inspired by Naomi Jon, she is an independent singer from Germany, she regularly makes videos on youtube about makeup, shopping on websites, tiktok foods, things like that. She is a very fun person to watch and I highly recommend you watch it, all her videos are in English. (one detail is that she doesn’t talk much about her family, and lives with her friend Vincent and boyyy every time I read about Reader from Not [ ] fics I remember her. If you disagree, that’s okay, I still like the idea of ​​YN’s glow up <3) “Have you seen, come and read my diary Then you will see, that you don’t mean shit to me” – MANTRA- Naomi Jon

I imagine that while shopping at a store, Steph liked the store’s playlist and went to look for who was singing it.

Imagine her face when she finds out that the person she was listening to… was the YN everyone was looking for. She immediately discovers her YouTube channel, social media… and everyone immediately starts binge-watching and stalking all of her videos

Dick would be the type of person who would learn the choreography for your music videos, just to dance with you. He swears he can be the fun older brother you need, he can be in your videos too! And cook! I don't think he wears makeup, but he would watch all your makeup videos because he likes your reviews, and when you make a joke or mix up the language in the video he finds it so funny that he can't help but laugh. He wants to test out the latest skincare products with you and wants to travel together! You look so different now, with bold eyeliner and colorful hair, Dick wonders if you've always been like this and he was just blind because he didn't see it. Come on, he didn't know you had this fun and easygoing side, let's spend more time together, okay?

“This dress deserves… THE BUSINESS WALK!”

Jason sees how you've grown, and how much better you are away from Gotham. Like a flower that blooms only when it's in a clean and suitable environment, you've brilliantly transformed into who you are. But a part of him, the biggest part, thinks you'd be much safer around your family, where they can protect you. You sing and post so many videos on the internet, what if someone comes after you? Let your brother stay close, okay? And who is this friend who lives with you anyway? He is not trustworthy - no. It doesn't matter if you've known him since you were kids and have lived together for a long time. Another thing I bet he would do is join you on the days when you dye your hair in the craziest ways possible, he has some experience with dye, you know?

“C’mon FriendReader, this is the plan for this hair dyeing technique. Yes, all seven colors are here!”

For those who neglected Reader and pretended you didn't exist, he is your #01 Fan now. Tim definitely listens to ALL your music, and is 100% connected to your social networks. He watches and rewatches all your videos, they are so interactive and relaxed that he has the illusion that he is living it all with you. He's the type of person who eats while watching your videos, and watches them before bed, and when he's having a particularly stressful situation he'll lock himself in his room and watch one of your vlogs, because your voice has such a calming effect of normality that for him, it's like at any moment you'll open his door asking to try a 2-ingredient recipe you saw on TikTok.

“Timothyyy~ try this recipe I saw on tik tok!”

Damian is an interesting case… because he discovered that his precious blood brother has a side to him that he never saw. When he walked into your room and looked at all your memories, all your pictures of your achievements, all your music sketches he KNEW you were talented, but when he saw you in action in your videos and shows it was like a cartoon character came to life. YOU came to life! Definitely buy all your merch, and talk about you all the time to John. Do you still have two cats?? Enough, the kidnapping is you and them two.

“My next show will be…”

Bruce goes back and rereads your journal drafts and realizes how much your music has really changed, your focus now being only on your fans and not your family. Like everyone else in the family, he watches your videos daily and keeps thinking “I could give her a bigger box of surprises so she can record a video” “Did she think that dress was pretty? I could buy her a better one, shinier and pinker, just like she wanted.” When you post a video of the backstage of a show and all your lively preparations, he can’t help but feel guilty for the thousandth time that day. He should be by your side right now, a father should be behind the scenes giving you comfort and strength to go on the show. He should be in the front row cheering when you realized your dream of going on stage for the first time. The whole family should… You’re trying so hard, your dedication is palpable in your videos and shows. The little girl grew up and became a dreamy woman, but who do you run to when you need to cry? Let him be your comforting shoulder now, let him come into your life again.

“I made this song especially for you, my fans!”

When Alfred put that video of YN’s childhood on TV, where she performed in a school play, to remind everyone of her absence, he couldn’t be more proud of his work when weeks later he hears her voice coming from one of the boys’ rooms. It's you singing one of the songs, the batboy repeating it for the tenth time. Your voice has changed, from a childish and angelic voice to a woman's, your looks have gradually gained confidence and personality, but your “presence” in the mansion is ghostly. He feels so happy for you, you are externalizing to the world what he has always seen: that you are incredible. Alfred doesn't need to marathon your videos to feel closer to you, he already has affectionate memories, he already has albums from when you were a baby and tested recipes with him, he already has videos of you training to sing when you were little… But he still watches your videos because unfortunately, even with him you lost contact. He watches the videos like a grandfather watches his grandson's stories “Oh? Are you in Tokyo now? How wonderful, dear, remember the coat.” “Oh dear YN, I don't think this recipe will be good for you…” “Yn, be careful with the scams on these strange websites!”

“Guys, I know what you’re thinking… BUT maybe combining onion and chocolate CAN work.”

[charlottesbookclub]

i'm here (ser gwayne hightower x reader) 💚💚

Summary: you have a nightmare, but gwayne is there to comfort you 💚

Warnings/Tags: spouse!reader; gn!reader; established relationship (marriage); nightmares; angst/anxiety brought on by the nightmares; absolutely catastrophic levels of tooth-rotting fluff; let me know if I've missed anything! ☺️

Words: 2870

Author’s Note: as I mentioned in this post, gwayne hightower has absolutely consumed my life and I am down sooooooo bad for him rn, so voilá, this fic has emerged as a result of that! 💕 as I also say in that linked post, I'm not super familiar with hotd, so I'm sorry if any of the terms I use aren't canon-accurate (I watched game of thrones a few years ago and I tried my best to make it feel authentic to the world of canon, but something may have slipped through 😅). and I hope this feels in-character to gwayne! I've rewatched the scenes of his that I have access to many times for...... uhh ~Research Purposes~ but I haven't seen all his scenes yet, so I apologize if it feels ooc at all – I did my best to make it feel like him! 🥰

oh and this is key: we've all seen the necklace, right?? we know about the necklace, right????? that fucking necklace makes me absolutely feral so I've given it a backstory, because it truly has me foaming at the fucking mouth 😌 (also, if you haven't seen the necklace, may I please direct you to this incredible gifset so we can descend into madness over it together?)

as always, I hope you enjoy!! 🥰🥰 (also please feel free to share any gwayne thoughts you have – I'd love to scream about the precious man with y'all! ☺️💕)

            The memory was not yours, but in this moment, it felt like it was. Gwayne had only told you the story once, with hushed words and averted eyes. You had asked, and he could never find it in himself to keep anything from you, even if it made his chest seize with shame. He told you that the whole ordeal had been a result of foolishness on his part, something he would admit only to you. He said that he recalled the memory with great embarrassment now. But you felt nothing but terror.

            You stood on a large, grassy plain ringed with trees, a few wispy clouds scuddling across the blue sky above you. This was a place you had never seen, never been – but one thing was familiar. As you struggled to gain your bearings in the strange location, you saw a group of men on horseback just a short distance ahead. You recognized your lord husband instantly: the delicate silver interlace of his steed’s armor and the auburn glow of his hair in the sunlight were as familiar to you as your own heartbeat.

            You called out to him, but he didn’t respond; he seemed to be in conversation with one of the other men. You ran toward the small group and cried his name again, but even at close range he appeared not to hear you. Panic grew in your chest by the moment as you hurried closer still, coming near enough that you could almost reach out and touch Gwayne’s mount. You stretched out your hand to do just that when your arm was stopped by some invisible force. There was nothing in front of you, just empty air that you should have been able to move through with no difficulty. But you were trapped mere feet from your beloved, unable to reach him.

            Something was terribly wrong. You screamed his name this time, desperation compressing your lungs with the force of your yell. But it was clear that he could not hear you, since neither he nor any of the gathered men so much as turned toward the sound of your cries. Real fear gripped you now, shooting ice through your veins as you cast about you for something – anything – that you could do. And that was when a new kind of fear crept over you, one so old and visceral you could feel it down to your very bones. Shudders wracked your body as you turned your eyes toward the sky, suddenly certain that you were being watched. But not just watched – no, you were being hunted.

            At a loss for what else you could do, you renewed your efforts to alert Gwayne to the danger that you could feel but not yet see. You screamed until your voice was hoarse, but you were forced to watch in horror as Gwayne continued his conversation as though nothing was wrong, even flashing that charming smile that you knew and loved so well. It was just then that the other man finally noticed that something was wrong. He cast his eyes toward the sky as you had mere moments before, saying something to the gathered men. A wave of fear seemed to run through the horses, as there was a flurry of shifting hooves and nervous snorts. You could only watch in terror as realization washed over Gwayne’s face, twisting his handsome features into a terrifying expression of horror.

            You screamed at him to run just as everything burst into motion, the horses tearing off across the plain toward the cover of the trees. You found yourself moving along with them, though you had no mount of your own. Instead, it was the same terrible invisible force, dragging you along, forcing you to watch as the scene unfolded before you.

            And then you saw it: the dragon. It swooped down from the sky as though it had erupted into existence from nothing, filling the empty air with huge grey wings that seemed to blot out the sun. You screamed again, but this time without the intention of forming any coherent words – the noise that escaped your throat was an expression of the fear that was buried deep in your bones upon the sight of the creature. Its lean body shot across the plain toward the fleeing men with a kind of focus and intention that proved what you had thought from the beginning: the dragon was hunting. And worse than that, it was hunting Gwayne.

            Voice rubbed raw from screaming, and realizing your cries to him did nothing anyway, you watched in terrible silence as his steed thundered across the ground, its legs eating up the distance as fast as it could. And yet the dragon gained. If this was some cruel trick played by the gods, you couldn’t think what you could possibly have done to deserve this kind of torment. You could do nothing but watch, utterly powerless, as Gwayne – your Gwayne – fled for his life, his beautiful face contorted into an expression of fear that cut you to the core like a knife to the stomach. You held your breath, fearing each moment would be the one when you were forced to watch your love be consumed by dragonfire, ending both his life and yours in one swift blow of unimaginable anguish and heartbreak from which you knew you would never recover. Just as you had resolved to try calling to him one last time – if nothing else, to assure him of your love – the treeline broke around you and the horses cantered to a stop beneath the cover of the forest.

            The world was still again, but the fear lingered. You could sense the dragon above you, even hear its thin, unearthly cries as it searched for its hidden quarry. Your eyes instantly found Gwayne, needing to make sure he had survived the ordeal. Indeed, he still sat upon his steed, and you watched his chest heave as he attempted to steady his breathing. The fear that still permeated the forest remained etched on his face as well, changing his features from those of the man you had courted and married to those of a young boy, trembling and horror-struck and so helpless and small.

            You longed with every fiber of your being to run up to him and pull him into your arms, to feel his warm breath on your neck as he folded into your embrace. You ached to hold his face in your hands and wipe away the single lingering tear he likely didn’t even know was still glistening on his cheek. You yearned to kiss the terror away from his brow and his nose and his lips, to tell him he was safe – to tell him that you were here. 

            But you were trapped just feet from him, all these longings locked into your body as you pressed toward him as far as the strange invisible barrier would allow. You watched as the fear slowly faded from his face, his features once again becoming warm and familiar. You couldn’t help but smile as he seemed to return to himself somewhat. Turning to one of his companions, he opened his mouth to say something when both of their eyes snapped up to the sky, reacting to some sound you must not have heard. You followed their gaze, and didn’t even have a chance to scream as a column of fire descended from above, ready to devour you all.

            You woke with a gasp. Your heart was pounding loudly enough that you could hear it in your ears, and you pushed yourself up into a sitting position as you struggled to calm your ragged breathing. The darkness in the room was soft, and your eyes adjusted slowly to your surroundings, only to find them all comforting and familiar – this was your room, your home. Instantly, you turned to your side, and let out a small sigh of relief when you saw Gwayne sleeping peacefully next to you. He was here, he was home, he was safe – you both were.

            When your breathing had calmed back to a normal rate, you eased yourself back down under the covers, burrowing into his arms as he sleepily adjusted his position to accommodate you.

            “Hmmm—is everything… alright?” he muttered, blinking his eyes open.

            “Everything’s fine,” you assured him, “I just had a nightmare.”

            He seemed to waken a little more at your words, propping himself up slightly on one arm as he reached the other hand out to stroke your cheek.

            “Are you alright? Do you want to talk about it?” his voice was still thick with sleep, but you knew the questions were genuine.

            “It was about you,” you reached up to cup his hand that still rested on your cheek, intertwining his fingers with yours. “And the dragon,” you added, your words barely above a whisper. Hearing his sharp intake of breath, you were certain he was reliving the memory himself, and instantly regretted your words.

            “But it was nothing,” you hurried to assure him, “I just—I just wish I had been there. Or that I could have helped or—” you were distinctly aware that your jumbled words made very little sense, even to you. “I just felt so helpless,” you ended with a sigh. Gwayne watched you with soft eyes, his fingers squeezing yours in reassurance.

            “You were there, though,” he responded, smiling gently, “and you did help.” You just stared at him incredulously, wondering if he was the one who was dreaming now. He read the question in your eyes with a small chuckle and disentangled his hand from yours, pushing himself up to sit. 

            Pressing a hand to his chest, his fingers found the chain of the necklace that he always wore. The charm was a delicate circle of beaten metal hanging from a simple coppery chain. You had bought it in the market one day when the two of you were still courting. The rich auburn sheen of the metal had reminded you of Gwayne’s hair, and you were determined to have it. The seller assured you that the little ring symbolized unending love and devotion – a never-ending cycle, an unbroken vow. You were doubtful that had been the original intention of the maker, but rather a ploy on the seller’s part to drive up the price after he realized you intended it as a gift for your beloved. Had it been that obvious how love-struck you were? 

            Regardless of whether it was intended or not, you liked the idea of the simple circle as a token of promise and loyalty, as well as a celebration of one of Gwayne’s most striking features. You had given it to him wrapped in a carefully-embroidered handkerchief when he had gallantly asked for your favor before a tourney. You cherished the memory of him asking you to help him put it on, and the fleeting touch of his skin and flaming hair you were able to steal as you clasped it around his neck. He won the tourney, and insisted that his victory was due at least in part to the precious charm you had given him, imbued with your affection and devotion. To your knowledge, he had never taken it off since.

            Now, in the dim light of your shared chambers, he held the little ring out for you to see. It was slightly more battered now than it had been, and though its original shine was gone, it still seemed to glow with a warm coppery light. Reaching out, you took the small circle in your fingers, feeling all the tiny knicks and ridges it had acquired over time, each one of them proof of Gwayne’s promise to always return to you – an unbroken vow.

            “See, you’re always with me, right here,” he gestured to the charm in your fingers. The feeling of the metal against your skin and the sweet memories that swirled through your mind caused tears to prick at the corners of your eyes, chasing away the lingering cobwebs of fear that the nightmare had spun. Gently, you released the ring and Gwayne’s fingers replaced yours on the circle, guiding it back to where it always sat on his chest, just above his heart. He pressed it there, emphasizing his words: “right here, right where you always have been – and always will be.”

            Ducking your head away, you tried to hide the tears that were now threatening to slide down your cheeks as his words. But before you could wipe them on the sheets, Gwayne’s hand caught your chin, gently pulling him back to you, the rough pad of his thumb banishing the tears from your face. His eyes sparkled with affection and mirth, and you found yourself unable to stop yourself from echoing his smile.

            “Hmmm… it’s more serious than I thought,” he said with mock-concern, tilting your face as though he was examining it, “you appear to be desperately and madly in love with me – a very serious condition indeed.”

            You couldn’t help the laugh that spilled out of your mouth as you nudged him playfully, causing him to break into bright chuckles of his own. Your chest, which just moments ago had been compressed with terror, was now so full of love and happiness you were certain it might burst.

            “And tell me, Ser Gwayne, what is the cure for this most dire of conditions?” you matched his tone of feigned worry as your laughter subsided.

            “Hmmm,” he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, unable to hide the dimples forming on his cheeks, proof of his barely-suppressed smile, “perhaps marriage? I have heard many esteemed lords claim that the institution of matrimony is bound to cure an ailment such as yours.”

            “Oh, but I fear I’ve tried that,” you exclaimed, “and it has only made my condition worse.”

            “Then this is indeed one of the most serious cases I’ve ever seen.” He pondered for a moment, then his eyes lit up: “There is one more cure, but it’s risky. You could try true love’s kiss. One does read about those sorts of things working miracles after all.”

            “What’s the risk?”

            “The risk is that the kiss renders your condition utterly uncurable by any other means.” Gwayne’s lips tilted up into your favorite lopsided smile as he grinned at you, dimples glowing like twin suns, sending the delicate freckles on his face colliding into each other like falling stars.

            “That’s a risk I’m more than willing to take,” you breathed as he reached out to cup your face and bring it close to his. You closed your eyes as your lips met in a burst of warm sunlight that seemed to fill your whole body with its radiance. You weren’t sure how long you remained pressed against him, feeling his heartbeat against your skin, his auburn locks twisted in your fingers, his necklace hanging between your entwined forms. 

            “Did it work?” he whispered when he finally pulled away, his forehead still resting against yours.

            “No,” you responded happily, your fingers once again finding the thin metal of the little circular charm, “I fear I’m even more madly and desperately in love with you than before.” You met his eyes, finding them bright and soft and just as madly and desperately in love as you were certain yours were.

            “Well, I like to think of myself as chivalrous, but I don’t think I can find it in myself to regret your condition,” he whispered, a teasing smile on his face as he reached a hand up to run his fingers through your hair.

            “Nor can I,” you whispered back, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

            He pulled you fully into his grasp then, maneuvering you both back under the covers without relinquishing his hold on you. You rested on his chest, head tucked under his chin as he wrapped both arms around you. Your fingers found his necklace, and you clasped it in your hand. He echoed your motion until both of your hands were intertwined around the metal circle, resting just above his heart. You could feel it beating against your skin, and you snuggled yourself even closer to him.

            “This is what I imagine,” Gwayne said softly to the darkness, “when I’m on the road without you, and all I have is this small charm to remind me of what it feels like to rest in your embrace. This is what I dream of.” He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead and squeezed your hand where it entwined with his on the necklace. “You’re always right here.”

            “I’m always right here,” you echo, your words a promise, a vow.

            “But thank the gods I don’t have to imagine right now,” you felt his words as his lips moved against your forehead, “because I am right here.” Gwayne wrapped his arms even more tightly around you, and you gladly tucked yourself further into his warm embrace. You felt yourself drifting back into a pleasant sleep in the comfort and safety of his arms. You heard his words echo softly in the gentle quiet of the room:

            “I’m right here.”

[greyias]

UPDATE:

Reddit has my back! How could I have ever forgotten Reddit as a resource? Now I can rewatch my long forgotten silly chaotic spy show in glorious 240p with garish yellow subtitles emblazoned across it. Beautiful. Adequate. I can't wait to have my nostalgia goggles for this show yanked violently off as I'm reminded why it was cancelled.

Back in 2011, there was this midseason replacement show that premiered on CBS about a group of wildcard spies that relentlessly haze their newbie while being absolute chaos mongers abroad and causing many international incidents. It seemed relatively obscure at the time, even though it had the perfect recipe for being fandom catnip bait (ie: being about a bunch of white guys with varied personalities).

Every now and then, I'll suddenly remember it's existence, and then furiously start Googling to try and find any way to watch it. Legitimate streaming sites. Illegitimate streaming sites. Sketchy DVD sales that inexplicably have copies of shows long out of print/never released. And then, of course, this stupid Amazon link always comes up and mocks me:

One can only assume the streaming rights for it are largely ignored, or stuck in legal limbo for one reason or another, and thus, it will forever remain "unavailable". Still, I have never seen a show so collectively memory holed and forgotten as my poor abandoned spy show. Heck, I was once able to track down a copy of Veritas: The Quest for a a birthday present for a friend in the early 00's, a show possibly even more obscure other than the fact that it's where Cobie Smulders got her start.

I have a nearly dead TiVo I've been hanging onto for years, meaning to extract the contents of its hard drive, because I know I have a bunch old episodes still on there (possibly the entire series because I refused to let it delete any of the episodes). I mean, they're all in standard definition because I'm a cheapo who refused to pay for cable and just got whatever I could over the air... but still.

One day I'll get to rewatch it. If I can remember how TiVo's file system format worked.

[icycoldninja]

Can you write the DMC boys with the reader in a scenario where she had to be bridal carried by them?

I just rewatched “The Cat returns” and the scene where the MC is exhausted, panting on the stairs when one of the male leads decided to bridal carry her because the antagonist are still in hot pursuit

(Seriously this Ghibli film is underrated asf, more ppl should know abt it)

In this scenario, the reader could’ve had an injured ankle due to loosing footing or just exhausted from being chased by demons for a long period of time so she just stands there panting, urging them to leave her behind as she’ll catch up later

They boys are like: “no..not on my watch” 😒

So they snatched her up and carry her away while being pursued by loads of demons from behind not so far away

P/S: They’re still in their crushing phase, so the reader is just bashfully and embarrassingly brooding in their arms while trying to avoid eye contact with them bcz of how hot her face is and they’re trying to search her gaze, hoping to find the answer they need within her eyes

Yeah sure, here you go.

Sparda boys + V x Reader bridal carry headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-You guys were running up the stairs to a long, winding tower while being chased by a horde of demons.

-Somewhere along the way, you twisted your ankle and fell behind.

-You being the selfless person you are, you urged Dante to leave you there, but he being the stubborn ass he was, he refused.

-Sinc you were pretty much a cripple at this point and the demons were gaining on you, Dante ran up, scooped you into his arms, and carried you up the remaining flights of stairs.

-You never expected something like this to happen and didn't know what to do, so you just remained there, blushing and trying very hard not to show him how red you were.

-Dante was not helping in the slightest; he was staring at you like you held all the secrets to the universe. This whole situa35ion was very awkward, but also cute.

■ Vergil ■

-You and Vergil had been running from demons for hours; you'd grown completely exhausted and were now doubled over and panting heavily on the landing.

-Vergil saw you and sighed. Humans, pathetic, weak creatures with poor stamina.

-You told him to just go and let you fend for yourself, but Vergil knew that if you couldn't even ascend a flight of stairs, you wouldn't stand against all those demons.

-Without a word, he rushed over to you, lifted you into his arms, and began carrying you around bridal-style.

-You were absolutely mortified in this position, evident in your tomato-red face.

-Vergil was only continuing to stare at you, making your embarrassment that much worse.

□ Nero □

-Nero knew you wouldn't be able to keep running up the stairs any longer and he was right.

-There you were, doubled over and panting heavily, your lungs burning with air while a horde of demons and other foul creatures scampered after you.

-You knew this too and tried to get him to leave you, but we all know Nero's a stubborn bastard like his uncle, and that he'd never leave.

-If he didn't get you out of there now, you would be overrun, so Nero hurried on over to you, scooped you up like a sack of potatoes, and bridal carried you up the stairs.

-You were absolutely flabbergasted and felt a powerful blush growing across your face, but you did your best to hide it.

-Nero noticed your furious nervousness and couldn't help but smile. Cute thing like you must have feelings for him, how precious.

● V ●

-Although not a normal human, V's stamina is quite similar to yours.

-Both of you were running from demons, just trying to survive, when he noticed that you weren't huffing and puffing alongside him.

-He turned, looked, and saw that you had twisted your ankle somehow and were now sitting on one of the landing areas, watching the encroaching demons fearfully.

-V stumbled over to you, and despite your protests, decided to pick you up and carry you away, bridal style.

-How he did not collapse into a shambling pile of bones is beyond anyone's guess, though Griffon suspects it was "the power of love" that gave him strength.

-Regardless of how he did it, you found yourself blushing madly at V's noble behavior and try as you might, couldn't hide your huge grin.

[graciereadshannigram]

hey fam, welcome to the May 2024 roundup of the best hannigram fics i've read this past month! i read several million words worth of fics, and these were the cream of the crop. i also managed to rewatch the show for the fifth time!! (unemployment has its perks lmao)

as a reminder: the ingredients for a five star rating typically (but not always!!) include some combination of a.) believable characterizations of both Hannibal and Will, b.) compelling plot and/or character arcs, and c.) high quality smut.

that being said, my judgment of the aforementioned ingredients is powered almost exclusively by vibes. as such, it is incredibly subjective.

you can find past rec lists below:

February March April

and if you have any recs of your own for me, PLEASE SHARE.

anyway, in no particular order, let's go!

~

Overcoming by purefoysgirl

Word Count: 547.5k Summary: A Victorian A/B/O romance in which Hannibal Lecter is the future Duke of Westvale who has been away at war for the past ten years. His Grandfather has made good on a contract made shortly after Hannibal's birth to procure him a wife. It was supposed to be easy. Naturally, with the Omega, Will, given in the place of his twin sister, it is anything but, because if there is one thing Hannibal Lecter despises, it's Omegas.

This fic had me holding back tears when it ended (after sobbing a couple different times). This was... incredible. What a fucking UNDERTAKING this author committed to, and despite this being a doorstopper of a fic, the plot did not miss a single beat. Just... wow. For the love of god, please read this.

Falls the Shadow by littlesystems

Word Count: 72.4k Summary: "You're a psychiatrist," Will says. "Between your personal and professional lives you must have met thousands of people, you must know dozens of different flavors of pathology. Do you know anyone who would take me as I am? Who would be able to love me," he gestures in a sweeping motion, from his messy hair to his stained knee, "just as I am?" "I do." Bedelia's words shock Will into stillness. “Really?” AKA an AU where Bedelia is Will’s psychiatrist instead of Hannibal, Will makes a series of increasingly questionable life choices, and no one should ever take Bedelia’s advice. Ever.

GIMME MORE STARSSSSSSSS. Bedelia as Will's psychiatrist was brilliant, holy shit. And Will understanding Hannibal and completely accepting him? This is something I see so rarely done in fics. Will always makes him be a lot less manipulative, or at least goes through heavy angst over it. But in this? Will was immediately endeared because that's just who Hannibal is.

Bram Stoker's HANNIBAL by DBMars

Word Count: 586.7k Summary: Love Never Dies. "I have crossed oceans of time to find you." Hannibal + Bram Stoker's Dracula + the classic novel = a new version of the seductive vampire legend. Count Hannibal Lecter loses the thing most precious to him -- the love of his life. God is beyond measure in wanton malice, and matchless in his irony. And so Hannibal renounces God, and becomes an immortal monster that feeds on the blood of the living. 400 years after losing his beloved, Count Lecter meets a man who looks exactly like the husband he lost -- reborn and returned. But who could learn to love a monster?

@dbmars you are a fucking genius. I am honestly still processing and figuring out how to communicate just how amazing this fic was. Do yourself a favor and go read it NOW.

the book of jonah by zipegs

Word Count: 18.1k Summary: A sudden breath of hot wind presses through the trees. For a moment, it feels fresh, alive, and then the dust—the pollen—comes along with it, a parasite hitched on the back of the breeze. Will is ravenous. --- After the fall, Will and Hannibal sojourn in a remote, decrepit cabin in South America while they await Chiyoh’s return. But something here is afflicting them, and it’s only getting worse.

Okay, bear with me. THIS WAS FUCKING AMAZING. I haven't felt this way after consuming a piece of media since I watched Guillermo del Toro's The Autopsy episode. Psychological horror mixed with body horror mixed with smut??? I guess that does it for me. I literally can't stop thinking about this fic. It's been two weeks and I am STILL thinking about it.

Wrong by HotMolasses (@snazzymolasses here on tumblr)

Word Count: 4.2k Summary: Will roughly rubbed his arm across his mouth again, trying to rub it off. Rub off the scent of Alana, after they’d kissed. After she’d kissed him. Or he’d kissed her? It was mutual. Until it wasn’t. Until Will breathed in her scent, so familiar, so Alpha, so…wrong. He’d pulled back forcibly, unable to hide the expression of revulsion on his face. “I…I need to go.” he said, sweeping his coat off the back of a chair on his way towards the door. “Lock up when you leave.” The weather was crap, and it probably wasn’t smart to drive in the snow while he was in pre-heat, but Will didn’t know what else to do. He needed to figure this out, he needed to talk to the only person who understood him. He needed to talk to Hannibal.

So ummmmmmm what do I need to do to turn this into like a whole AU?? As always, this was a total home run. Every single bit of it was perfect.

as soft, as wide as air by BlackKnightSatellite

Word Count: 193.9k Summary: After surviving the fall, Will finds he has far fewer hesitations about joining Hannibal than he would have guessed. Character death, but not Will or Hannibal.

Well shit. I read this immediately after a full rewatch of the show (in four days no less) and THIS is my new season 4 canon. It's brilliant and actually reads like a proper season would. And I love how it gives all the characters a concluded story line. Aside from Will and Hannibal. I also loved how much this explored Will's instability and how his mental state would be affected after he finally slung off all the guilt and allowed himself to fully enjoy killing. All around very good.

The Dispersal Method by @victorineb

Word Count: 16.9k Summary: It’s a normal fall day in the forest for Will Graham. Dead body in front of him, cannibal psychiatrist behind him, the usual. Then Will brushes against the wrong flower, and suddenly neither he nor Hannibal can keep their hands off each other. Now, Will must navigate his way out of the crime scene and Jack’s scrutiny while also trying not to jump Hannibal’s bones at every opportunity. Well, one out of three ain’t bad. Set nebulously in s2, post-Will's release from the BSHCI. Will’s a conflicted honeypot, Hannibal’s a (not-so) secretly-besotted asshole, and nobody has brought enough lube.

THIS IS THE BEST SEX POLLEN I'VE EVER READ. Seriously. The BEST out of pretty much any fandom (at least so far).

Between the Shadow and the Soul by raiast

Word Count: 48.7k Summary: When Will decides to stop taking his suppressants neither he nor Hannibal can deny the attraction between them. After nearly a decade of running from his biology, Will is faced with his primitive Omega urges full force. As if navigating his hormones wasn't enough, there is a killer at large with a very specific motive that seems to only be targeting preteen boys.

This might be my new favorite ABO fic? And one of the better case fics out there.

Sleepover by EarthsickWithoutYou

Word Count: 70k Summary: Set in Season 1, after "Fromage." Will is still confused about his kiss with Alana and seeks romantic advice on how to date and be more "smooth" from Hannibal. Little does he know that Hannibal is madly, passionately obsessed with him, and desperately jealous. Needless to say, Dr. Lecter is all too happy to teach Will everything he knows about love and dating.

This was pretty fluffy, tender, and fun, and it was exactly what I needed after finishing a heavier fic

Alana Finds Out by @victorineb

Word Count: 32.1k Summary: A series of one-shots in which Alana Bloom discovers, in the midst of various tropes, that her boyfriend Hannibal Lecter's feelings for Will Graham run far deeper than friendship. Basically a chance for Alana to shout at the pair of emotionally-repressed idiots whilst still indulging in much Hannigram loveliness.

Oh I loved all of this. This scratched that itch in my brain that loves when Alana realizes that Hannibal has wanted Will all along. And some of these one-shots are genuinely hysterical. Love.

Doctor's Orders by JSinister32

Word Count: 29.2k Summary: “He’s dead on his feet, Jack. I do not understand how you allowed him to come when he’s so obviously ill. There have been too many hours in service of your needs, so many that it seems to have affected any sleep that he may have gotten over the past few weeks. From what you and I have discussed, he has a difficult time shutting his mind down under the best of circumstances and this case today has clearly gotten to him.” The doctor stepped closer to the profiler, peering into his eyes as Will tried to focus. “Will? Can you hear me?” Will Graham has never been particularly good at taking care of himself. When he comes down with a severe cold while working on a string of murders, the new psychiatrist on retainer, Doctor Hannibal Lecter, offers to care for him. Will he be able to keep his feelings in check while Hannibal is in his home? Hannibal Lecter can't get the profiler working for the Violent Crimes unit out of his mind. When given the opportunity to care for him when he's ill, will his feelings for the other man come to light?

TENDER. I want like 70k more words of this. Especially Hannibal putting Jack in his place. Especially Hannibal washing Will's hair. Mmm. There's just something so good about Will letting Hannibal take care of him.

The First Condition of Immortality is Death by OneHandedBooks

Word Count: 92.5k Summary: Hannibal’s heart stopped for the first time after he’d dragged himself and Will out of the frigid ocean onto the rocky shore at the bottom of the bluff.

Oh this was GOOD. Very tender, good characterizations, and loved how Will's hallucinations were portrayed. This was just all a really good exploration of how their relationship could have progressed. This author also is incredibly good at showing the scenes in a way that I could watch them unfold in my head. This felt like a crystal clear movie.

What Do The Dead Know? by OneHandedBooks

Word Count: 7.6k Summary: He looks up at her, haloed by the sun. She could be anyone. No one. St. Abigail, patron of lilies and last chances. AU: What if Will joined Hannibal willingly after the Uffizi Gallery and they shared a few tense weeks in the world before Mason's men finally ran them down? In which Will writes, hallucinates, and succumbs to the dark side and Hannibal is a manipulative, brainwashing, bastard.

cw: Abigail/Will. But does it really count if it's a dream sequence? Regardless, this was something else, off the charts, big fan. The author NAILED the hallucinatory vibe that made this entire fic work so so well. Also, just Will working through his grief for Abigail this way made it that much more intense.

chimera of the chapel by bleakmidwinter

Word Count: 211.5k Summary: When Will Graham wakes up from a coma three months after the fall, Jack reveals that Hannibal Lecter didn't survive. Outside the realm of Hannibal's influence, Will decides to discover the full truth behind the world's sudden and seeming falsehood. Everybody seems to hold their own opinion on Hannibal's fate, but Will knows better than anyone that trust and honesty are as elusive as death.

The "presumed dead" trope might just be my new obsession. I adored this fic so much, the plot was incredible, the development of their relationship was spot on, and there were just some very tender moments.

wear my silence like a mask by bleakmidwinter

Word Count: 32.k Summary: After running into Hannibal at a Bass Pro Shop, Will is invited to a Masquerade Ball at his estate. Jack encourages him to attend for an opportunity to catch the Ripper. Extenuating circumstances tempt Will down an even graver path; Romance with the Ripper.

Three words: masked anonymous sex. That's all.

The Voices and the Shadows by darlinghogwarts, MaddyHughes

Word Count: 114.6k Summary: “The Chesapeake Ripper? The serial killer? That's a grisly thing to find at the bottom of a drink. Most people say oblivion ...or possibly sex.” Hannibal sips his wine again. “Why are you thinking about a murderer on your birthday, Will? Is it part of your degree?” “He is a part of my degree by my own choice. My supervisor didn’t approve, but…” He sighs. “I insisted.” AU where Will—a Masters student studying the Chesapeake Ripper—gets drunk on his birthday and meets an intriguing man at the bar.

Man, I wish I had had Hannibal as my thesis supervisor in grad school, hot damn. (Mine was pretty much too busy to help with anything, ended up doing it all myself – would not recommend.) This was was damn near perfect. I needed some good old fashioned angst. With a good and fluffy ending. This was a good AU!

Chasing Thoroughbreds by HigherMagic

Word Count: 42.8k Summary: After the fall, Chiyoh rescues Will and Hannibal and takes them to the Lecter home in Lithuania. When Hannibal wakes up, his memories of everything - Will, being the Ripper, everything since Mischa's death - are gone. Will's only problem with that is that killing Hannibal won't be nearly as satisfying if he doesn't understand why. Wrestling with his own feelings, or what's left in the tattered mess of them after the fight with Dolarhyde, Will stays, hoping that Hannibal will recover and give him the opportunity he's waiting for. But there are others who remember what Hannibal did, all those years ago, and they have their own bone to pick.

Ugh pretty sure I love almost everything HigherMagic writes and this did not disappoint. This was fantastic. I was absolutely captivated by Will's development through this and Hannibal was just as good.

Volto Larva by TreacleA

Word Count: 39k Summary: Will is having trouble unwinding after work. Hannibal helpfully suggests somewhere that may assist with that, with absolutely no ulterior motive whatsoever.

So ummmm I'm still blushing (in the best way) over parts of this fic because FUCK this is scorching. Anyway. That's all I've got to say LOL.

[avocado-writing]

Hey 👋🏻 i just finished rewatching both seasons of good omens 🥲 can i request an ineffable husbands x r with an established relationship? after a night out they go back to the bookshop and r is pissed drunk so aziraphale and crowley tries to help them get comfortable and get settled but r keeps saying “back off i have partners.” and things like that because they’re too drunk to recognize the two which amuses them both. i read something similar online and thought it would be funny with the husbands. thank you so much ❤️

notes: put this once again in tltdatsib, hope that's ok! also yall: anyway nightingale is drunk / me: YES lmfao

pairing: crowley x reader x aziraphale

rating: T

notes: excessive alcohol consumption; gn reader but one reference to them being a primadonna; tltdatsib-verse

You’re all quite drunk.

The three of you are all impartial to a glass of wine or six after a nice day. Usually you can hold your liquor quite well, but you underestimated the vintage, and now you’re absolutely off your face. Crowley and Aziraphale are happy to sober up the miraculous way, the alcohol returning to its bottle, but you absolutely despise it happening to you and they’d never do it without your permission. So there you are, head-lollingly, body-flailingly drunk on the sofa in the back of the bookshop.

“Come on love, let’s get you to bed,” Crowley says, attempting to heave you into his arms. You push him away and make a low noise in the back of his throat. 

“Did… did you just growl at me?” he asks, both delighted and bemused; torn between actually trying to help you or recording this on his phone so that he can tease you mercilessly tomorrow. 

"My love - " begins Aziraphale, but you glare at him the best you can while barely being able to hold your head up.

“Oi! Back ‘ff sunshine,” you say, holding your hand up and wiggling your fingers, “‘m married! My husbands—spousesssss—won’t be too happy ‘f you chat me up!”

Aziraphale and Crowley exchange a look. You’ve not been this drunk since the three of you were invited to the Diamond Dogs release party in the seventies. Your hangover had lasted a week. 

“Darling,” says Aziraphale with a patient sigh, “we’re your husbands… spouses… oh, look, it’s us!”

"No-oo-oo! Lies! Won't be taken in by handsome strangerssss!" you cry, a primadonna of a show only you can see. You try to launch yourself across the couch for safety but get your foot stuck between two seat cushions.

"'Handsome', eh?" Crowely asks, grinning very wide indeed.

"Yessss, handsome! Very! But 'm TAKEN."

Aziraphale sighs, both wanting this charade to be over and charmed that even when you're too blotto to recognise them, you still find your husbands attractive.

"Look, let me show you proof, darling."

You squint, suspiciously. 

“Eh?”

Aziraphale reaches into his coat pocket to bring out his wallet. It has no cards or cash, nothing that one would actually need a wallet for - but he keeps it for one very particular reason. 

He flips open the leather and holds it out for you to inspect. It has a photo in it: a polaroid, taken for you by a kind passerby on the day of your wedding. It’s of the three of you, arms around each other, all smiling the widest in any photo where you are the subjects. You take it from his hands, scrutinise it, then cringe.

“Oh god, ‘m ‘n idiot…”

You collapse back into the sofa, letting your arm remain in its place so Aziraphale can take the precious wallet back safely. 

"It's alright nightingale. You're just a bit tipsy is all, my love."

"You're so kind to me even when 'm bein' silly..."

"For better for worse. For drunker, for sober...er," Crowley reasons.

“Should go t’ sleep…” you mutter, and before they can help you up, you turn over to face the pile of pillows and immediately make good on that threat. They cover you with a blanket, and Crowley does tease you the next morning.

-

@angiestopit @foolishprincipalitee @smile-eywa @staygoldsquatchling02 @underratedboogeyman @specter-soltare @candlewitch-cryptic @cool-ontherun-world @emilynissangtr @willbedecided @bdffkierenwalker @cool-iguana @ilyatan @civil-groupie @willyoubethepookietomypookster @lxsm2 @clarina04 @wtfhasmy-lifecometo @mrgatotortuga @wereallbrokenangels @night-affiliate @silcosmoke @kimqueenofhell @chewbrry @bajablast23 @h3k3t @am-i-obsessed---maybe @bakerstreethound

[thesimulacrasimp]

Okay so im gonna just throw randomly my thoughts on sm6 while rewatching it cuz why not, I was doing the same thing for hazbin hotel so why not spooky month too?

So yeah, SPOOKY MONTH 6 SPOILERS WARNING‼️

Ok im just gonna say: that starting scene with thieves was kinda funny. Also rewatching it, im starting to suspect that this giant spider thing in Lilas attic have her husbands soul, IDK WHY, I JUST FEEL LIKE IT, it just looks so important, it even appeared twice in the ep: in the begining n in the end.

Also ARE WE JUST GONNA IGNORE HOW JAUNE CALLED LILA "HOT STUFF"??? WHILE HAVING A HUSBAND?????? A HUSBAND THAT SITTING NEARBY HER WHEN SHE SAYING THAT???????? ARE THEY IN A POLY RELATIONSHIPS HOLY FUCKING SHIT????????????? IM EVEN MORE INTRIGED NOW

Okay so Skid does know and remember his dad, I just was thinking that his father left/died when Skid still wasnt born or when he was very little so Skid doesnt even know that he had a father, but no he does remember his dad, so that means he presented for quite long time in Skids life.

Also im really suprised how big Pumps house is, well i mean— he said that his parents work alot so ig i shouldnt be suprised-

Poor Ignacio just wants some peace– *watched the ep a lil longer* Oh hes kinda fucked up actually---

Also for some reason i find kinda interesting that Ross n Rob were kinda comforting Roy every time they were on the screen like "We're here for you, Roy" etc etc, so im thinking maybe something bad happened to Roy? I mean he looked kinda frustrated n angry, so maybe somethng between him n his parents?

Okay but can we talk about how Moloch look so much more scarier than before?

Okay so--- get ready for my rambleling bout my boy Dexter-- HE LIVED WITH HIS MOM N ALOT OF CATS😭😭😭 N HIS MOMS PURE GRIEF BOUT HER LOSS WAS GENIUNALY SO SAD TO WITNESS 😭😭😭😭

Okay so looking at Skids impression when Father Gregor asked him bout his father-- yeah i think his dad actually died---- but i can be wrong ofc

Okay- im sorry but-- why does Kevin n Radfords interactions make them look like a couple--- I AM SORRY BUT----

Also the way Father Gregor gave Kevin holy water was really funny to me, it was like: "You know these children?? Yeaahhhh i feel bad for u, kid. Here have some holy water, just in case...." ALSO the fact that ppl started coming in the store ONLY after Radford sprinkled holy water in it-- DOES THAT MEAN THAT THERE WERE DEMONS IN IT THAT WERE KEEPING PPL AWAY???

Dont mind me guys, im just a little crying :')

Okay but the way how Skid n Pump were SO exited to see Moloch again was really funny n cute at the same time

Okay... This is the part when i literally teared up. I know it was just Moloch trying to fool Father Gregor to give him kids but idk.... It still made me tear up for some reason, and i even know the reason: i just miss Dexter so much n i didnt expect him to appear so much times in this ep, I just think hes a precious boy who deserved better. I KNOW THAT HE WAS KILLING ANIMALS N I DONT APPROVE THAT AT ALL, but hes still a sweetie idfc.

Also why would Patty need a gun so immediatly?..

Also that part when Moloch were wandering around the town n Father n spooky bois were trying to catch him was so funny and entertaining

Poor Pelo got ooffed again. Press F.

AND OMG THIS PART WHEN MOLOCH POSSESED SKID N PUMPS BODIES AND THE FATHER EXORCISMS THEM WAS SOOOO COOL, I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY, I THINK I JUST HAVE A THING FOR DEMONS N EXORCISM.

And this is the part where i actually cried alot. Poor Skid doesnt know that its not his fault at all.. Also even if Father Gregors words were kinda mean, that Lila is irresponsible mother, I cant disagree with them. Yes, she is an alone mother, but it doesnt give her permission to just leave her child to himself n his friend n go drink n then spent time w her child drunk. Yeah i know, that she leaves him to mr Wonder n Susie, but lets be honest, were here even a single time when the kids didnt just leave the house n cause problem? No. So i think the Fathers words are make perfect sense, n Lila should think bout it. Also a lil thing i just thought bout, why would Lila throw away her husbands stuff? If he actually died why would she do this? Or hes not dead n he just left for some reason? Idk

Also OMFG THAT OOGA BOOGA JUMPSCARE GOT ME SO FUCKING GOOD, I WASNT READY FOR AT ALL

and so ummm i think thats it. It took me 1 hour to write this lol.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hey Raven, hope your doing well. I was rewatching book 5 and something struck me. Crowly stills does his thing to get yuu/mc to host the NRC tribe at Ramshackle. But compare to previous chapters hes seems a little nicer, i guess? He offering renovations and upgrades ( a positive), instead of just threatening to cut yuu's food budget or something (a negative).

Where im going with this is, do you think Crowley may have felt a tiny tinge for his (in) action in book 4? Or atleast, realized he actually screwed up. He did give Yuu in case of an emergency.... and promptly ignored it (or just turned it off) when he went on break. He likely had to have heard what happened over the break...an likely saw his missed calls and put 2 and 2 together. Sure he may not feel bad enough to apologize (at least openly), but he does seem to make himself scarce early in b5. That could just be him being, well, the headmage. Maybe he's just not sure how to deal with MC or how they'd react to seeing him? So instead of threatening Yuu, he offers them something instead? Idk, maybe im reaching. Crowley relationship with Yuu is complicated. I do like to believe he has some empathy or regret (or maybe he just has more respect for yuu by b5?) After everything up to that point

Like i said, i may be reaching here. Wanted to get your input. Sorry for the long ask. Have a good one :)

In many fandom depictions of Crowley, he often serves as Yuu's guardian who is incompetent but well-meaning. I'm also guilty of doing this, Crowley is considered my OC's father figure (even if my OC isn't a Yuu). That's how we choose to engage with the characters and the world that we love! However, I don't believe that Crowley has that sort of tenderness for Yuu in canon, whether at the start or as their relationship develops over the course of the main story. Now, that's not to say that I think Crowley is cold or hateful towards Yuu. Far from it! He does care for them, but in the same way that a teacher might care about nurturing their students and preparing them for the world beyond graduation. Crowley demonstrates a similar attitude towards other NRC students, with one very clear example being in his Raven Jacket vignettes. In those stories, he likens his students to apple trees that he raises and nurtures, hoping that one day they might bear fruit. He does not particularly grant Yuu special treatment unless it's a scenario where he wants them to do a favor for him. (Though here I would also argue he does the same for other students when he wants them to resolve an issue in his place, which happens frequently in event stories; in Fairy Gala, he warns the boys they'll be held back if classes cannot proceed due to the wacky weather. In Ghost Marriage, Crowley shames the boys for not expressing interest in rescuing Idia, etc.)

I also want to set the record straight regarding how exactly Crowley gets Yuu to comply with his requests. Reviewing all avaliable books in the main story, Crowley rarely outright threatens Yuu if they refuse to help him:

Prologue — Crowley does not initially ask anything of Yuu, but he does provide them a temporary home and food until they can sort something out. During Yuu's stay, they are meant to do handiwork to earn their keep. However, Crowley tries to expel them after their involvement in breaking what is considered a precious chandelier. In this case, his anger is somewhat justified but it's still the one major example of Crowley leveraging something to force Yuu to act in a way that he desires. The thing is, it's revealed in chapter 19 that Crowley did not believe Yuu could acquire the magestone he asked for and was all set to finalize the expulsion papers. So really, he wasn't serious at all in giving Yuu a chance to redeem themselves and was going to expel Yuu anyway (until they happened to prove their "usefulness"). Whether this counts as an example of Crowley "threatening" Yuu, then, is up to individual interpretation.

Book 1 — Crowley makes no specific request to Yuu. He shows up late in the book and suggests to the frustrated Adeuce that they fight Riddle to claim his seat as dorm leader, but does not tell Yuu to do anything in this situation. Recall that it was Ace that marched up to Ramshackle's front door and demanded that he be allowed to stay overnight; Crowley had no part in that.

Book 2 — In 2-7, Crowley asks Yuu to investigate the strange string of accidents that has befallen the students set to play in the upcoming inter-dorm magift/spelldrive tournament. There is a part where Crowley says he "never promised to cover living expenses". You, as Yuu, have the option to ask him "Is that a threat...?" to which Crowley never properly responds. Interpret that how you wish. He then offers Grim and Yuu a chance to participate in said tournament if they succeed, seeing as they lacked the 7 players needed to form a team. Crowley even says he will find 5 other players to fill in their missing team seats for them.

Book 3 — Here in 3-6, Crowley never actually threatens to cut off food. Instead, he is trying to earn pity from Yuu by guilt tripping them and emphasizing that he, the headmaster, is so busy with his tasks (like finding Yuu a way home) and will provide them with the funds they need regardless because he is so very kind. He's trying to tug at their heartstrings by pointing out the things he selflessly does for them, so they feel obligated to do something for him in return. Once Yuu agrees to help, he lavishes them with praise and says it is "expected" of someone he personally chose.

But!! I want to add that in the Episode of Octavinelle manga, this same scene is depicted as Crowley threatening to cut their food budget. I'm not sure if this is just a different interpretation (since Yuuta seems to prepare more food than is usually implied in the game; this would explain why their food costs go up significantly) or if Crowley truly was also threatening to cut the budget in the game.

Book 4 — Crowley makes a reasonable request in 4-2; he asks Yuu and Grim to tend to the fire fairies over winter break since it's a task no one else will be present to handle. In exchange, he says he will give them a banquet of tasty foods (which is not an empty promise; in 4-39, the Ramshackle Ghosts tell Yuu and Grim that the headmaster has left them with a ton of food as thanks.

Book 5 — Crowley appears in 5-21 asking that Yuu allow the NRC Tribe to stay at Ramshackle for their month-long training camp. He explains that Vil and Rook are willing to give up their share of the prize money if Yuu agrees to these terms. It is then that Crowley adds that he will help with renovation too, most likely to sweeten the deal with his word.

Book 6 — Crowley does not ask anything of Yuu. He does, however, call in STYX in 6-2 because he becomes concerned about the threat that Grim poses after consuming multiple crystallized blots. After Grim is taken, Crowley instructs Yuu in 6-4 to wait until Grim has recovered and been evaluated by a third party to speak with him again.

Book 7 — Crowley makes no specific requests to Yuu.

You can see in almost all instances that Crowley uses a variety of tactics to get his students to do what he wants them to. He bribes, shames/guilts them, points out very real consequences if the problem at hand is not resolved, and, yes, occasionally makes what can be interpreted as a vague threat. Despite this, the fact remains that he was always nice, not just post-book 4 (in fact, Crowley was also nice during book 4). I don't see the circumstances as "anything before or during book 4 is him being negative and threatening to punish Yuu and anything after book 4 is him being kind and positive to Yuu". In most cases with Yuu, he is offering them something they would want. His go-to strategy isn't threats, it tends to be the promise of a reward.

I wouldn't tie any of Crowley's actions to feeling a sense of remorse or guilt on his own part. While it's true we don't really get to see inside of his head, from what we see of him... this man is utterly shameless. He's willing to resort to emotional manipulation to convince literal children to solve problems that he, the powerful mage and adult, should be dealing with. What's more, he praises himself for Yuu's competence and willingness to step up. That's him placing a lot of faith in his students, and I don't think he feels any guilt in doing this. Why else would he send them into dangerous situations over and over again? He must, to some extent, believe they can already handle themselves just fine, otherwise he's creating tons of legal liabilities for himself by purposefully throwing children of tons of affluent families into the line of fire. Besides, he's a highly skilled mage himself--if any true, TRUE danger were to befall them, surely he could save the day himself. My thought is that he has sort of a "tough love" approach where he tosses his students into the fires and sees how they get out of it in one piece, but it's just presented in a "devil-may-care" way because of his lackadaisical attitude.

Regarding book 4, I personally see Crowley giving his cell phone number as just a means to provide reassurance to Grim and Yuu, since they (especially Grim) are protesting about him seemingly leaving on vacation. It's an empty gesture so he can have his getaway without much of a fuss; I totally believe that Crowley did not ever intend to answer his phone. When he returns in book 5, he's already asking another favor of Yuu, so I get the sense he isn't really bothered by what happened. I would even say that Crowley still has several major appearances in book 5, not that he has made himself scarcer. He appears to ask the favor, appears again to evaluate their performance, and then a third time at the cultural festival to speak with the headmaster of RSA. Crowley gets plenty of screen time here, much more then in books 6 and 7. If he truly felt bad or actively wanted to avoid Yuu, he could easily just tell other students (ie Vil) or even school staff (ghosts, teachers, etc.) to relay the deal for him.

Again, I want to be clear: THIS IS NOT CROWLEY BASHING. The only thing I am expressing in this post is that while I do love this bird-brained goober and think he cares for his students, I don't believe it's done in the conventional sense you're thinking of. Crowley can be selfish and callous and throw his students into danger, and that's okay! Sometimes we want to love a useless man who's trying his best, even if his best is pretty lousy/j

Whew, that was a lot of brain dumping! I hope I properly responded to all your thoughts and that you found this read semi-entertaining~

[gx-gameon]

I just finished the ‘walk the dragon’ arc in DM and it’s always a wild ride. But it also really drives home the fact that the Gx friend group is just not the same as the DM friend group.

Atem makes a mistake. He lets his darkness win. He loses and has to face the consequences of his action.

Except the consequence isn’t that his soul gets removed, what he thought would happen, but instead that he lost Yugi. His most loyal friend. And this was Yugi’s choice. He chose to step in and take this blow for the pharaoh. He believed in him so much that even though Atem didn’t listen to him and caused one of their souls to me forfeited he still believed in the Pharaoh.

Showcased even more in their duel in the valley of spirits. Yugi through that whole duel is trying to help the Pharaoh face the darkness in his heart and over come it. He’s acting like he’s furious with the Pharaoh, emotions that the Pharaoh thinks he deserves. But is actuality he’s doing all of this to push his friend and make him better.

Even Joey, Tristian, and Téa still trust the Pharaoh. Yes they are upset with him. Joey punching him in the face. And they should be. But they never abandon him. They still believe he’s a good person. In the dub they insist that he was tricked.

Joey spends the whole season trying to get Mai to remember that they are friends and talk her down from her depression spiral/possessed state. He never gave up on here and even convinced Valon there was more to dueling and friendship. Like Joey kills this season.

And when they get Yugi back they are all so excited. Hugging him and telling him how glad they are that he’s back. But the pharaoh steps in once more to fight the leviathan and no one glares at him or tells him to go away now that Yugi’s back.

Every single member of the group still cares for and trust the pharaoh. Yes they had negative emotions towards him and the situation and not all of them were expressed in a healthy way. But they were all still there for him and each other.

And while some blamed him for his choice they could see that he regretted it and forgave him for his actions.

But Gx?

And again maybe I’ll feel different on my rewatch.

But the group doesn’t behave the same way. If Jaden makes a mistake they blame him for it.

I know in the dark world they are under a spell to have their negative feelings amplified but like Jaden’s not even calling the attacks. He got into that duel with only his life on the line. They were added in as a surprise later on.

And again amplified emotions. But those emotions have to exist to be amplified. They already felt that way about him.

I don’t know I just think about how many wild situations the DM crew got into. How many times their lives were in the Pharaoh’s hands. (His duel against Noah in the digital world is a great comparison) And they were always supportive. Trusting Yugi and the pharaoh to get them through.

Let’s compare the duel against Noah. He starts picking off the DM cast one by one. Each turn Yugi/Atem doesn’t beat him he turns one of their friends to stone. The group is watching each of their friends get turned to stone. Joey even watches his precious sister get turned to stone. But he’s never angry at Yugi/Atem. Their anger is directed at Noah. They keep encouraging Yugi/Atem to keep going that even if they all get turned to stone they know he can win. And it’s that friendship that helps him win with all of their souls guiding a card he needed into his hand.

Compare that to the dark world duel in Gx. Just like above the destruction of his friends was added on to the duel later. (Yes the situation is different since when Yugi/Atem won they knew they would be realized from the stone. In Jaden’s duel they died, or so they believed.) but Kadne is doing everything in his power to lose. To make sure his friends get out alive. He’s forced to attack. And his ‘friends’ blame him for everything. Again magic spell, but it’s enhancing emotions that are already there.

I just can’t see the DM crew behaving this way. Yes they wouldn’t want to die and would be devastated over the perceived lose of any of their friends. But I can’t see them yelling at Yugi/Atem that it’s all his fault. They would blame the villain.

You know who doesn’t blame Jaden? Jim, Axel, And Aster Phoenix. Like two kids who knew him for what? A few weeks? Months at best. And his rival from last year. These people shouldn’t trust Jaden more than his ‘friends’ do and yet they are better friends than the regular crew.

Like could you imagine all of the DM cast blaming Yugi/Atem for the situation and then Kaiba, and two characters that were added that season walk up and super supportive of Atem and help him. Like imagine the Walk the Dragon arc but the crew abandons Atem after he loses Yugi’s soul and Kaiba, Raphael, and Valon start helping Atem over come the darkness in his heart. You can’t that would be wild!

Again maybe I’ll feel different after my Gx rewatch but like they are not the duel monsters crew. Jaden needed better friends.

I don’t hate the Gx characters. I just wished the writers let them do more to support Jaden because they were all pushed to the background in most cases leaving them with the option to support or complain.

[spongebob-connoisseur]

So today's my birthday and I'm turning 24. I am feeling the dread of realizing I was 14 years old a decade ago. I'm not one of those people who fears turning older but I am shocked at how far ago it is because it feels more fresh in my memory. I remember everything I did on my 14th birthday in detail😭😭😭 where did the time go??

Anyways my Spongebob fixation kicked off around that time which means I've been obsessing over Spongeboy me bob the television show for a decade now. Yeah I have other fixations on the side, little breaks here and there, but it's been fairly consistent. Here's to another 10 years of spongebobbert my Robert my son! <3

Also here are the things I got for my 14th birthday

This is my prize, my baby. My precious beloved I have cherished this for years and years and rewatched it a million times and is what cemented the first season as being my favorite in the show. It is still my FAVORITE present ever and it means the world to me. At the time I actually wanted the first 100 episodes dvd boxset but it was sold out then. Tbh I think this is better. This also kicked off my interest in collecting SB merch.

The day I got this, the first episode I watched was Scaredy Pants.

This card! The novelty of a singing Spongebob card blew me away at the time! I have kept all of my birthday cards spongebob or not but this is the best. The battery has died so it no longer sings but here is the song it used to play

I also got this t-shirt which is currently on life support. You can tell it's a very much loved shirt. It has holes now so I don't wear it anymore but I'll never ever get rid of it! I used to wear it under my school uniform at the time (mostly to keep warm) so I can always keep Spongerobert close to my heart <3

I will take these all to my grave <33 I will treasure them for eternity <3

[deedala]

✨ weekly tag wednesday ✨

thanks for tagging me @heymacy @energievie and @mybrainismelted !! 💖

(disclaimer: there is presently a glitch with tumblr that only allows you to tag 5 people per line in your text posts. to remedy that, you can separate your tags into different lines as i have at the bottom of this post to ensure that everyone that's tagged knows they've been tagged!)

**

name: deanna

age: noel

your time zone: EST (or apparently EDT currently as its during daylight savings? when it goes from UTC-5 to UTC-4. Time is a construct.)

what do you do for work? i help color other peoples comics

do you have any pets? narp

what first drew you to this fandom? i had tried several times to watch shameless since it started but kept getting turned off by how gross frank was lmao. i really like cameron monaghan though and back in 2022 i was just in a good place (apparently) to finally push through (and skip!!) the gross frank shit and watch the show. i think i watched some of it. and then i went and just watched gallavich scenes on youtube? and then i went BACK and rewatched all of the actual show? over and over again lol. my love of cameron monaghan and shameless's vibe just finally clicked into place amen.

are you a morning person or a night owl? i guess moreso a night person since i suffer desperately from revenge bedtime procrastination. but also at the same time i dont like sleeping in very late either or itll feel like the whole day fucked. but also i wanna sleep for 9 hours.

what are your hobbies? tv and film enjoyer, drawing, reading, video games, being silly

how tall are you? 5'2" or 157cm (please help me reach the things on the top shelf)

if you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? iceland? ireland? new zealand? ...really into lands ig

favorite color? mint green

favorite book? the masked empire by patrick weekes still holds this spot

favorite movie? the fall, the eagle, love and monsters, princess bride, the mummy, vampire academy

favorite fic? intro to quantum dating, cooperative gameplay, fine art of falling for you, love is a ballfield, none the wiser, two of your earth minutes, the menagerie, apotheosis, ma--*the microphone is forcibly removed from my hands*

favorite musical artist: chappell roan, cake, petey, dove cameron

what is your average screen time so far this week? thats none of my business

what's the first app you open in the morning? discord~

how long have you been on tumblr? 12.5 years

finally (and i know this one is hard) tell me a fun fact about yourself: i dunno if its a *fun* fact but i used to be a licensed cosmetologist. i know how to do all the things i just realized i hate interacting with customers and could not bear to carry on with that a career after about a year of it lol

and now i shall tag some precious nuggets who can play or simply accept this offering of a🫸 face squish 🫷😚 @darlingian @too-schoolforcool @michellemisfit @thepupperino @metalheadmickey @softmick @callivich @vintagelacerosette @squirrel-fund @creepkinginc @whatwouldmickeydo @gallawitchxx @mickeysgaymom @suzy-queued @crossmydna @gardenerian @mmmichyyy @tanktopgallavich @rereadanon @heymrspatel @the-rat-wins @iansw0rld @loftec @palepinkgoat @themarchg1rl @jrooc @thisdivorce @blue-disco-lights @sam-loves-seb @sickness-health-all-that-shit @samantitheos @lee-ow @sleepyfacetoughguy @transmickey @lingy910y @tsuga-of-mars @ardent-fox @purplemagpie @captainjowl @wehangout @mikhailoisbaby 💖💖💖

[alexwilltellyouthings]

Entirely self indulgent rating post about the top 10 TV shows that made me fucking insane for some reason

10. Sense8

God, this was so good. Such a blessing. I saw part of the cast during a Pride Parade and it's one of my favorite memories. I felt every possible emotion with this show, I love it.

9. The Last of Us

This is kind of a cheat, because the obsession comes from the games, but it is what it is. It's one of the few games that had a big impact on me and I closely relate it to my relationship with my dad. Can't wait to cry my heart out at season 2.

8. Good Omens

It's a given, isn't it? That stupid angel with his stupid demon and their stupid God. GRRRAAWW. A lot of thoughts and feelings came from the fandom, I have to point out. It's been very nice.

7. The Umbrella Academy

I have the first issue of the comics autographed by Gerard Way!! I mean, yes, it's because I'm a MCR fan, but it became even more precious after I got into the show. I'm rewatching right now, preparing for the last season. I'll be a mess when I say goodbye to them. Can't even really think about it too hard or I'll cry right now.

Continues under the cut

6. Our Flag Means Death

LISTEN THIS CHANGED EVERYTHING TO ME. What do you mean we can have a show THIS queer? It's all I want now. I ate it up. I smiled so much. I wanted this so badly and had no idea.

5. Interview with the Vampire

Feels like it should be top 3 honestly but I'll get there. This is also a cheat, I've been reading the Vampire Chronicles since I was like 15. Growing up with Anne Rice probably messed me up but hey at least I have great taste. And seeing them on screen? The way they made it BETTER? And Lestat?? Who has been haunting me for 15 years on and off??? And the second season and their reunion and and and?????????? I'm STILL insane about them and will be forever, I'm afraid.

4. Doctor Who

Listen. Listen. Okay. Yeah. What can I say? If you get into it, you're doomed. And I have been doomed for 10 years at least. I stopped watching for a while and got back last year, and it hit me all over again. I love this dumbass genius alien in a way that's calm, even. Just a permanent part of who I am now.

3. The Untamed

The year was 2022, it had been a while since I had a proper fixation and I didn't think it would happen with this danmei live-action, but then came Wei Wuxian. Guys, if I tell you I fell in love. Couldn't stop thinking about him. Everyday I was plagued by his smile and red ribbon and tragic backstory, yadayadayada. I really like other characters too, and their stories, but WWX did something to me that I still don't quite understand.

2. Queer as Folk (US)

This was a looong time ago and it didn't really persist over time like the others, but it was my first actual obsession. I was clinically insane over these gays. I had no one to talk to about them, so for every episode I wrote several pages of notes to comment to my (only) friend at school the next day, the poor thing. It was pretty much all I talked about because I spent EVERY MINUTE we had to talk going over the notes and explaining the episode. Like, between classes, during breaks, everything. Months of that. She held on firmly because she was a good friend, but I'm aware it must've been terrible. Like I said, insane.

1. Dead Boy Detectives

Maybe I'm putting this up here because it's my current hyperfixation? Maybe. But I don't think I have felt something hit as strongly as this since QaF over there. This time I can participate in fandom so I don't need to write every thought I have because it's all a big talk anyway, but I'm still pretty much having those thoughts all the time for *checks notes* nearly three months. I'm writing more than I have in years. I'm back at Tumblr after I don't know how long. I'm staring at GIFs over and over like I have the fucking time for that. I'm distracted at work daily. I talk about it in therapy. I have the main cast's notifications on. I'm getting involved in fandom discourse sometimes even knowing I shouldn't. It's a nightmare. I love it. I love them.

If you read all of this, congrats! Now you know how my mind works, kinda!! I'm open to talk about any and all of these shows. It's amazing how they mess us up. It's also scary, but anyway.

[absolutebl]

This week in BL - Gay Boy Turf Wars Galore!

Also, ALL the guest couples: TutorYim & MacNat showed up in Korea. Korea also reused the Love Class pair. And Wayne Song & Huang Chun Chih (H3:MODC) popped up AGAIN. (To be fair, when does Wayne not show up in a Taiwanese BL?)

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized by favs in each category. No numbered lists anymore, tumblr be buggn'.

Aug 2023 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 7 of 8 - Plot reveals galore + all the penultimate tension we could want. (How many different kinds of smiles does Film have in his arsenal?) OMG I LOVE the unhinged idiot bloody tattooed ex bf - intro music and all. He is my precious psycho-bunny-snookums. Also Tinn, baby-boy, communicating about your honest feelings in a BL? What madness is this? I sense doom incoming. Smart Chan, always tell him he’s better in bed than your ex. The sides getting caught! Noooooo. I mean we knew it would happen but still noooooooo! 

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Sat YT) ep 2 of 12 - I like the surreal slip-stream dream-sequence openings. Is it a cerebral examination of temporal paradox or just designed to creep us out? The pace has picked up a bit and I'm delighted that external threat, stressors, and conflict are driving this plot. Refreshing. I love historicals - every touch and action can have such lingering significance, it’s very elegant. Thai BLs can often feel clumsy but not this one. I’m really enjoying it. 

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 2 of 12 - Sailom is great. I love a smartass who’s actually really smart, reminds me of Bai Luo Yin in Addicted. (The real Addicted.) Never a bad thing. Kang is nasty bit of business, I look forward to his redemption arc. I love his grandma. (BL is giving good grandma right now.) Nicely executed narrative twist into sympathy too: rich kid sees how rough life really is. The complexity of character depth needed for this script makes me so happy it's Perth & Chimon, they both have such expressive nuanced faces.

I do keep wanting to rewatch LBC tho. 

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 3 of 10 - It remains a blast. Boston is king of red flags, cutting down Ray because he is the easiest punching bag? Going after his friend's bf just to prove he can? No thank you. I know Ray is lovely when he’s soft but danger zone, Sand. Be careful upon entering a minefield, every little step forward may cause an explosion. I don’t think being master of snark is gonna help you avoid getting blown up.

Sand is the one I feel the worst for - bi guy strays into cesspit of gay toxicity. He ain’t gonna make it out alive.  

Hidden Agenda (Sun GMMTV YouTube) ep 7 of 10 - The boyfriends date ep! Zo’s past explains a lot about his behavior. Flirty Zo is v dangerous to all our hearts. Nice kiss. Poor Joke. Meanwhile, the side couple gave good kiss too! However, why is Title playing the bad guy again? Did GMMTV bring him in just to be resident jerk face in all their BL? Makes me sad.

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 8 of 12 - This should be a 8 or 10 ep show, 12 is too many. I think I just don’t like the lead couple's character dynamic and personalities. (No shade on JaFirst.) Side couple went startlingly high heat allasudden. And while their sex scene was good, I wish Daddy and the Hot Doc were being given a lot more script, screen time, and character dev. Sigh. I guess I just wish they were the mains and the others were the sides.

Can't have everything, I suppose.  

Wedding Plan (Wed YT & iQIYI) ep 6 of 7 - Nuea is a saint and next week everything comes to a head (that didn’t already get head this episode). Trash watch here!

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 2 of 10 - The side couple is everything. They are so cute and my favorite trope. Plus hugs with neck kisses! I love big brother using his adorable boyfriend to try and help his annoying little brother’s business. It’s just perfect. Unfortunately, that annoying little brother, is too fucking annoying. I remain largely unable to watch the main story arc. 

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) 1 of 24 eps - Sampler pack BL, 12 pairs, each pair gets 2 eps, so this show will run all the way into 2024.

First installment is Casanova Begins. Dead boy wakes up in his enemy’s body, 2 years after his own death. Has to make things right with the boyfriend who thinks he was abandoned. Everyone has secrets. No one can be trusted. And the dead kid can never tell anyone who he really is. It’s … different? Unique take on the My Ghost Boyfriend trope.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thur Viki) ep 6 of 8 - Random moment of TutorYim. Hi cuties. Simon is my favorite, I love him and his flirty irreverent ways.

Who does he actually like?

Or is he just flirting with everyone?

Can he have a crush on anyone but himself?

He’s a house cat among the pigeons. Clearly wouldn't know what to do with the bird if he managed to catch it. Or would he?

The 4 boys dodging around each other and re-shuffling is so funny. I can’t tell you how delighted this show makes me. I do feel sorry for Lee Jun, he’s just the toy everyone wants to play with. I understand his frustration, do any of them really want him or is it all because the others are interested? Kiss! Yay! Good kiss! Even more yay! 

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - Poor baby doesn’t think he’s good enough and is holding JC back. They are THE CUTEST BOYFRIENDS. It hurts. The sappy. 

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) eps 1-2 of 13(?) - From screenwriter Lin Pei Yu (We Best Love, H3: Trapped) formerly known as Miracle, features a student doctor forced to take care of a gangster. I love the premise and like the writer. This one could be sad. Never forget Taiwan will go there.

Shall we get tucked in?

Gay boy turf wars! Main couple is cute. Sunshine gangster (turns out to be a sweetie who cooks) meets broken brilliant tsundere student who wants to be a doctor. Side couple is the leader of the gang and his rabid Pet. Also, all praise the guest couple de jour (baddies). Nice to see you 2... again. All actors are clearly having a blast with this script.

Triggers for knife play, child abuse, lingering trauma. 

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 5-6 of 10 - Aw guest couple from Love Class original, that is very sweet. The tutor and returning student, aka couple 3, are the best. So funny. But the whole thing remains engaging in a messy way.

Why R U? (Korea Wed iQIYI) eps 1-2 of 8 - Oh, it’s very odd. Certainly a lot more comprehensible if you've already watched the Thai version. As with that version, I still dislike the SaifahZon couple and love the FighterTutor couple. And once again I hate the weird IRL shipping sister. HATE HER. I’m not mad at the "Man who Fell into the World of BL" overtones but I wish they went at it more intentionally. (They’re not using NPC the way I would, are they? Cause that’s hella cruel.) MaxNat are fun. I love that Fighter went to his girlfriend's birthday party, didn’t even say hi to her, picked up her drunk bestie, and took him home.

This show is WILD. It’s very Korea tries to do a Thai BL. And, I gotta say, I kind of like the absurdity of the whole scheme. Do I think it will ultimately "work" as a stand alone piece? No. But as a very odd kind of parody? Sure.

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) ep 7 of 12 - Truth always comes out in hot springs. It's a rule of life. Coming clean is coming clean, I suppose. Still, moving very slowly for me and I need sake to get through this season. It's certainly suffering from sophomore slump.

Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) ep 4 of 5 - Sad episode is sad. 

In case you missed it

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - didn't air this week

Dinosaur Love (Sun iQIYI) ep 9 of 10 eps - Didn’t drop this week? MDL thinks it should have. Everyone is confused. But also… who cares? 

Low Frequency (Thai iQIYI) Finished it's run - NO SINGING as flirty boyfriends they very cute actually, but this final ep was V E R Y slow.

All in all this was not a great show. Classic pulp with an interesting twist on “ghost boyfriend investigates his own not-murder” but ultimately not very good in any arena. 6/10 Only if you have nothing better to do. 

Sing My Crush (Korea iQIYI) Finished it's rerun

This a cute coming of age drama around music and 2 kinds of self acceptance and actualization journeys. This was basically Korea’s version of About Youth, and was perhaps a bit too soft and ungrounded by comparison, like a marshmallow sculpture. Sweet but somewhat lacking in discernible flavor. Inoffensively unmemorable. 8/10 RECOMMENDED especially if you enjoy KBL's style

8/24 Man Suang (Thailand movie, domestic cinema release) - historical drama about Thai burlesque with KP’s MileApo. Do I know where to get it? Nope. Do I care? Nope.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Coming September

I have 4 on my radar:

9/2 Naughty Babe (Thailand Sat ????) - MaxNat back on our screens. We think iQIYI but aren't confident.

9/15 You Are Mine (Taiwan ????) - it's taking over from Stay By My Side so likely Gaga. Secretary has to deal with grumpy boss.

9/26 I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be. No matter how hard they try, their hearts cannot reach each other.

9/27 Absolute Zero (Thai iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally bring us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance. We don’t always get HEAs from them, so I'm on my guard.

9/?? Venus in the Sky (Thai iQIYI) 10 eps - ????

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

No you aren't, Lom. You don't even know what that means. (Wedding Plan)

Minato comes out to the best person.

Trope spotlight! (Low Frequency)

I Fell You Linger in the Air

So true. (Only Friends)

I love them so much, as @heretherebedork would put it, Tiny Idiots!

(Last week) 

Gotta say I am hating this new UI so much I'm not bothering to tag with shows. We shall see what that does for ROI.

[morganas-pendragons]

till we were too far gone | master chief

@empresskadia inspired me to continue writing this, on top of my recent rewatch of s2 -> so here's the next part of my series, which drops into parts of episode 2. the next part will combine 3 and parts of The Fall of Reach!

I was listening to Cassandra by Taylor Swift (this series is based off of You're Losing Me by Taylor Swift) when I wrote this lol SO if there's references to that in here, oops

***

You cannot help the urge. A natural human urge, a desire, to meet him in his spot on that bench where his soul calls to yours. You can't help it.

If only John would take it.

"What are you doing here? How did you find me?"

"Like I said," You removed your hood and slipped inside the room. "I know you. We need to talk."

There were so many things you could've said in those few minutes that passed after the door shut. You knew he had questions about Ackerson, about what Ackerson had asked you and what he'd said to you in that initial meeting following your return from Sanctuary.

Do you think that, at his core, The Master Chief is broken?

The longer you'd looked between John and the AI that bore a remarkable resemblance to Cortana, the more you were beginning to question if he was.

"I don't know what Ackerson said to you," You said quietly, gaze averted to the floor as you fidgeted with your fingers in your lap. "Or why you've been so on edge recently. You haven't breathed a word. I don't expect you to. I just... I need to know."

"Know what?"

"When did you stop trusting me?"

His form is imposing as he stands, green eyes shifting to the side to stare at the dormant AI. Your breath catches at the sight. There hasn't ever been a time where you've found yourself intimidated by John, much less afraid of John. That was then.

This was now.

"When you became one of Ackerson's lackeys and refused to tell me what he was saying to you!" John hissed. "Why wouldn't you say anything after you left his office when we debriefed from Sanctuary? What did he ask you? Why were you in there so much longer then the rest of us?"

You almost want to hit him for the clear implication behind his questions. John, the man you have loved for so long now, either thinks you are a liar or a spy for ONI. It's enough of an implication for you to retaliate. To lash out. To use your own anger and do something about it.

You don't. Instead, you reach outward to cradle his hand in your own and press his fingers against your cheek. You don't speak for a long minute.

"You've been angry since they took Cortana out," You said. "I used to be someone you trusted. Someone you confided in." Your lips are poised to say someone you love, but you're a little too hesitant in that thought because he's never outwardly confirmed it for you. Better to deny than assume. "I am capable of many things, but containing that fire that's been building in you.... I don't want to be burned."

All of the rage and defiance that's made him imposing in these precious moments of privacy deflates as soon as John recognizes the fear behind your words. He willing to be perceived as many things by the people around him, by the public eye.

He is not willing for you to see him as someone to fear, as a threat. Not when The Master Chief still struggles with comprehending the way he feels about you.

"Soles," John started, swallowing the knot in his throat as he moved his fingers to tangle in your hair at your temple. "There are alot of people I would burn without fear of repercussion. Most of them deserve it. But you-"

"What about me?" You interject.

I would burn down entire galaxies if it meant that you were kept safe.

John doesn't give voice to those thoughts though. He can't. Not with Ackerson sniffing around, not with the two of you in ONI's crosshairs. He will not risk you.

Before he can give some kind of sufficient answer, the door is opening with another client wanting to come through. Your hood rises on instinct before you are disappearing out the door as fast as you came, leaving nothing but the phantom feeling of your warmth under his fingers.

***

"And you're sure?"

"Of course I'm sure, Kai. Have we met Mr. Emotionally Repressed and Has a Death Wish?"

Kai snorted as you narrowly blocked her attack and pivoted your feet to navigate across the gym floor. You'd spent the last few days actively avoiding The Master Chief unless you had a reason for direct contact. Kai had been a welcome reprieve from the constant torment of your thoughts. She provided plenty a distraction from them veering back toward John.

That was where they always went.

"You know him as well as I do, Soles," She murmured lowly, grunting as she blocked your own strike with both of her gloves. "And you know he cares. Ackerson coming in to take over for Halsey is a problem. He's just trying to keep you safe."

"He doesn't need to keep me safe. He needs to stop treating me like I'm the enemy! Or even worse, a liar. I may be many things. A weapon, sure. A soldier? Yeah. A liar? Not to him. Never to John."

Little known to you, Kai is incredibly aware of the actual reason John is trying to keep you off of Ackerson's radar. He and Parangosky could collaborate and have you sent back to the Headhunters without a beat of hesitation if they believe you could be an asset to the war elsewhere. With his reawakened affection and desire to protect you, he won't be risking it.

"Sierra-343," You turned your head toward the door of the gym where a crew hand donning UNSC blues stood with a cradled datapad in her arm. "Colonel Ackerson is asking for you at the ONI building."

Dread flooded your veins as you relaxed your body and began removing your gloves. That was twice now. What on Earth was Ackerson so insistent in getting out of you?

"Duty calls, 025."

"Give him hell, 343."

You dressed back into your flight suit and took the quickest route to Ackerson's office in the ONI building. What you found waiting for you was John, who seemed to be in heated conversation within Ackerson's office. The person in question who was looking for you was lounging comfortably in his chair behind his desk.

You jumped out of sight before either man could see you.

"She has no recollection of what you say you encountered on Sanctuary."

"That's impossible. Did you ask Silver's newest member? Our Headhunter can tell you. They were there with me on the ridge."

"I haven't. They're far more loyal to you than I anticipated. Regardless of whether or not they were to agree or disagree, that's not the point." Ackerson waved a dismissive hand. "Put yourself in my position, John. Given your recent behavior... would you trust you?"

"You can't win this war without us, sir."

"And you're right!" Ackerson exclaimed. "We need The Master Chief. I need that Headhunter. We all do. But John, at the end of the day, you're both just people in suits."

You slipped out of your corner by the wall and folded your hands behind your back as you approached the office. The impassive expression on Colonel Ackerson's face shifted into something warmer as you approached, beckoning you deeper into the office.

Things were beginning to make more sense. Ackerson was the problem. He was far too interested in you. In what you knew about John.

If distancing yourself saved him, you'd risk it.

You'd rather him be alive and hate you than love you and be dead.

"Sierra-343, thank you for coming to see me. Please." The Colonel extended a hand before his gaze fell back to John. John had not moved since you'd entered the room. "Master Chief, you are dismissed."

Unease licked at the corners of John's mind as the two of you met eyes, if only for a moment, before you were turning back to the chair offered to you and sitting in it to speak to the Colonel directly.

Whispers of disbelief echo in the back of your mind.

It's Ackerson. He's the problem. He and Parangosky are going to be the end of you.

"I'm assuming you heard the duration of that conversation." Ackerson idly remarked. "And I come to ask you this question again now that I am aware you have. The Master Chief has made it clear that you were present with him and Perez during this supposed attack on Sanctuary."

You leaned forward and pressed your elbows into your knees, expression impassive. "No matter what I tell you," You replied gravely. "You would not believe me. Why would you? You have no concrete proof, so there's no reason for the UNSC or ONI to take up arms against a threat. You'll just do it when it's too late and Reach is a graveyard." You nod. "Yes, I was there on Sanctuary. The Master Chief and I directly encountered Covenant Sangheili and were overwhelmed by the mass of them. We do not know why we made it out, but we did. Are you inclined to believe me? Unlikely."

"It sounds like you blame ONI for the losses The Covenant caused. I would expect you of all people to comprehend the magnitude of what they can do, as you suffered and survived it first hand during your time on The Exalted. Your team did not."

Ackerson wants you out.

You slammed your hand against his desk and shot upward. "The losses I endured were because the UNSC did not do anything. You had your best weapon in your own grasps with Cortana and John being a singular unit. You botched that." Shrugging, you sat back in your chair and crossed your arms over your chest. "I'm going to be frank with you. I do not care what happens to ONI. Not you, not Halsey, not Parangosky. The only thing I care about is that your continued pursuit of my past is causing my team leader to treat me differently, and your continued denial of The Master Chief's recounting of Sanctuary is sowing doubt among Silver Team. We are supposed to be unified, not disjointed!"

He smiled. That Colonel, damn him, looked up at you and smiled.

"You've given me quite a bit of information that will prove vital to my investigation, Sierra-343. Thank you. I can certainly ascertain the extent of what he sees in you." Ackerson extended a hand towards the doorway of his office, and you felt your heart sink as your eyes followed his clearly offered exit. He had gotten exactly what he wanted. "Dismissed."

You did not allow your head to hang until you were alone in the elevator. You would not give Ackerson the satisfaction of knowing how defeated you felt.

***

"We're being called out for a mission? Seriously? To where? I thought Keyes had grounded us until further notice."

Kai tossed you your helmet as the two of you stood at your lockers. "Visegrad Relay. Chief says that's Cobalt's last known location. He wants us to find them as a way of preparing for when The Covenant land on Reach."

"He's getting more reckless," Your eyes slowly shifted to the other side of the room in search of John. Part of you, a deeper part you would never allow to see the light of day, was wondering if he'd finally had enough and went AWOL. "I miss Cortana. She kept him far more in line than any of us ever could."

"You severely underestimate your own role in his life, Soles." Kai called over her shoulder.

"This is the same man who implied I was a liar and a spy in one breath!" You whipped around to face your sister in arms, eyes brightened by the ever-constant anger you've felt begin to settle itself into your bloodstream. Spartans are made of quite alot of things. Part of you wonders if your child counterpart was as fueled by their anger as you are. "I don't know what they did to him, but that is not the same man I treated on that medical table. Ackerson is trying to warp the story and turn us against one another. Don't let him ensnare you too, Kai."

There's not much left to say after that. Kai wants to encourage you in remembering who John is as a man - someone who would always put the betterment of his men ahead of himself, a soldier who saw very little importance in his own life and would always go to great lengths to ensure everyone else made it home.

You had been the one to ensure he came with them. The one to remind John that there was someone to come home to. To drag his bloodied body back in your own arms, determined to keep him alive and to teach him the importance of his own life alongside his men.

You needed him alive. Not because the UNSC did to fight their war, but to continue to walk this path as a Spartan and allow yourself to love in the way you believed he loved you.

Maybe that too was just another dream. Everything he'd done prior to Cortana being removed felt as if it were a dream, slipping out of your fingertips before you could grasp onto such precious memory.

"Do you know what happened to Cortana?"

The question in itself causes you to pause. Now that it's been asked, you realize that you don't. You don't know what happened to Cortana.

Why? Why was her location so secret, especially given the fact she was such a crucial asset to the UNSC's intelligence network?

Where are you, little love?

***

"Copy that, Bravo. 3-2 out."

You peered at the cockpit from where you sat in the bay with Vannak, Riz and Kai on the Pelican that John had commandeered. "No training?" Vannak called out. "I thought we were going to Longhorn valley."

"Sad." You pouted playfully, laughing when Vannak turned to glare at you. "I was looking forward at pounding all of you into the dirt."

"Change of plans," John interjected. "We're going to Visegrad Relay. Riz?" With a motion of his head toward the cockpit, Riz nodded and stood to her feet to take the pilot's seat in the front of the Pelican. "The comms array on Sanctuary went down just before The Covenant attacked. Visegrad went down a few days ago. They sent Cobalt. We're going to get them back."

"Chief, with all due respect, I really hope you are not sending us in blind." You replied uneasily. "Are we cleared for combat?"

"Affirmative."

Something tugged at your stomach as you watched his eyes deliberately avert yours. Liar. You are a liar, and a hypocrite, and I will never forgive you if this goes south.

For someone who had shown and claimed he cared so much about you, it felt like the two of you were standing on opposite ends of the chasm waiting to fall. Too far gone to attempt to reach the other on the other side.

It was just a matter of time before the darkness took you both.

You and Kai were ruminating on too many questions that both of you knew were going to be left unanswered.

"What exactly is the mission?" Kai asked.

"The Covenant is on Reach."

part three?