#they graduated

[socksandcrocs]

AND EVERYONE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER

[dam-blue-ribbon]

Im heartbroken in a way that can't be explained.

[amynchan]

Ok, but, like, what do you expect?

No, really, what? You wanna send an 18 year old kid up there and flaunt the fact that they got shit grades? In my head, here are a few scenarios

1) The Pity Case. This kid did literally everything they could, but the world was against them. Family, housing, mental wellbeing, hunger problems galore. Oh, but they made it through! They're here, graduating, despite it all! Here, let's invite this kid to relive all of the shit they've gone through to make the whoole audience either tearfully applaud or feel generally uncomfortable for a hot minute while this kid relives trauma after trauma for what is essentially unreal entertainment for everyone else. After that, they can sit back and watch their own kid graduate, patting themselves on the back and knowing that at least their kid didn't have as hard a time as THAT one.

2) the Rebel. This one rejects the system and is proud of it. Their reasons? Idk yet. They may share those on the stage if they deign to go. This is, after all, a formal function, which they've been denying all along. Either they skip to stick it to the man or they go and shit all over the institution. Great for entertainment. Dick move for the students who actually worked their asses off. Like, think about it. Imagine that you love basketball so much that you bust your ass practicing, keeping fit in every way you know how, only to win The Big Game and then have one player elevates who basically talks shit about the whole game. There's a place for that, but not when you're celebrating a hard won achievement. Parents might get pissed and tell the institution at large not to ruin the celebration that their kid spent hours of study and work to earn. Boom. No more other side of the tracks speech.

3) the Example. This kid tried, ok? They tried so so so so so damn hard. School just isn't their area of expertise, but they fucking graduated. By the skin of their teeth! To them, too, this is an achievement! And they're so so so proud of themselves! As they should be! So they get on stage, talking about their experience earnestly, only to realize later that... for as much as they wanted to celebrate, others are mocking them. Whispering softly about "poor kid, what a waste." This is the pity case, but they only feel the shame and embarrassment kick in after they've basically been made a fool of in front of everyone. Even with earnest intentions, they're still just entertainment at best. Pitiable at mid, and scorned at worst.

Guys. Being valedictorian is a SHOW. Yes, it's an achievement, but the point is to get paraded around like a show pony. If you do that to a kid who just barely made it, you're setting that kid up for the judgement and internal moral self assurance of every other student and their parents in the audience. It's a good personal "fuck you" to some, but most of the time? It'll just be an embarrassing moment for that kid to look back on. That will be a mark of "dont be like that kid" or "have pity because of that one kid" or any variation thereof.

Guys, this wouldn't humanize the kid or the experience for anyone. It'll just put some kid on blast for the entertainment of students and parents alike. A pity moment or a moment of indignation. That's all it'll be.

[skopostheorie]

I feel like the only person not tempted to use ChatGPT like it doesn't even occur to me as an option

I DON'T CARE THAT YOU HAVE SOME EXCEPTION AND ABSOLUTELY MUUUUST USE CHATGPT THIS ISN'T A CONFESSIONAL BITCH!!!

HI!!! READ OBÉLIX ET COMPAGNIE

You thought it was gonna be Gaylois?? NO. I've had a change of heart.

[baker-chan-senpai]

dumb doodles

merry christmas, people

[canisalbus]

✦ Freshly ordained ✦

[nasa]

Nora AlMatrooshi

Nora AlMatrooshi, the first Emirati woman astronaut, worked as a piping engineer before becoming an astronaut candidate for the United Arab Emirates. https://mbrsc.ae/team/nora/

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!

[corvigae]

I keep having to tear down extremely predatory/misleading Scien.tology flyers in my school's art building. This is the third fucking time I've ripped the fuckers up and I'm getting Real Fucking Tired of it.

[foldingfittedsheets]

One of the most memorable speeches I've ever heard was given at my beloved's graduation. They attended a pretty crunchy school natural medicine. They went for acupuncture but they also had many degrees including nutrition, naturopathic medicine, and most importantly to this story: midwifery.

The common consensus across campus was that the midwives operated on their own frequency which is a nice way to say they were usually really weird, even by the standards of a pretty alternative crowd of people. Not weird in a bad way. But weird nonetheless. They straddled the boundary between life and death and it changed them.

I had never experienced a midwife before the ceremony which is why I didn't think anything of the fact that a midwife stepped up to give the graduation speech. My friends nearby had a stir of repressed amusement and elbowing each other which did puzzle me slightly.

The speech began as a story, which I heartily approved of. The midwife related an experience in which a woman told her that during her first birth she had screamed too much and used up her energy in that instead of pushing and the midwife, to the collective masses assembled to watch a solemn ceremony, said, "I told her this time she would need to scream with her vagina."

The audience was slightly stunned by this, myself included. I scanned the crowd to see dropped jaws and wide eyes. It was such a bold statement to make in an academic setting and no one quite knew what to make of it.

The midwife continued unperturbed.

She related that many dads didn't know what to do during the birthing process and that this particular dad chose to chant over and over, "You're gonna be huge, you're gonna be huge," as his wife screamed with her vagina to birth their child. The midwife mused that she didn't know if he was talking to their child or his wife or if he even registered what he was saying in that moment.

Then the subject strayed toward how the student body had strained and striven toward this goal, this endgame that was the result of sleepless nights, hard work, and camaraderie. The speech seemed to have moved onto more solid ground and traditional graduation reminiscences. The crowd settled, thinking the worst had passed.

But as the midwife wrapped up she said, "As you go forth into the world, pushed out by this noble institution to help the masses, just remember one thing," she paused and the audience held their breath while the beat drew out before she finally whispered:

"You're gonna be huge."

There was a roar of astonished laughter as her speech neatly tied their graduation into a metaphor for being birthed unto the world and we finally understood the point of her anecdote.

The speech lives in infamy in all our collective memories. Years later my beloved's dad will still be like, "Remember that bizarre graduation speech?"

And it was. It was bizarre. But I'll say this. I've attended a lot of graduations, and I don't remember any of the speeches half so well as I do that one.

[wanologic]

and they were roommates

[120age-120ace]

2->3

[archaeos]

If anyone wants to directly help a Palestinian family reunite in the UK, this young graduate student is trying to get her daughter out of Gaza. The UK government makes the visa process as difficult as possible, and the only thing that makes it easier is money. This fundraiser has already raised a good sum, but I know from experience that every penny counts, so please donate or share if you can.

[wigglybunfish]

Welcome to Preservation! we have nice people and even nicer murderbots.

[ed-recoverry]

THERE ARE NO USELESS MAJORS!!

Learning about theater is important! Learning about art is important! Learning about sociology is important! Learning about history is important! Learning about anthropology is important! Learning about philosophy important! Learning about music is important! Learning about English is important! Learning about dance is important! Learning about photography is important! Learning about art history is important! Learning about ethnic studies is important! Learning about theology is important! Learning about performing arts is important!

Usefulness does not equal high income!

All education is important!