#they dont fucking get that its not that simple and it never will be
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Manifestation cheatcode:
BE NONCHALANT!!!!!!
When I say be nonchalant I mean say you want it done? And move on with your life, just move on.. its simple! And when ppl say its simple ik you're like "how??? How its simple because I've been working so hard to get what i want my entire life and now you're suddenly telling me it is simple.. how is it simple????" I will tell you how just read the post. (Long post ahead)
As i was saying, decide your desir, affirm for it and move on, what do I mean by moving on? I mean:
1. NOT OVERTHINKING IT
2. NOT STRESSING IT!!!
Because if you're someone who gets whatever tf they want, whenever tf you want.. why do you even think twice about it right?
♡: Examples from My own life lately:
1. As some of you might noticed I disappeared here, because I have midterms and I'm a medical student so I've got to study more yeah? Since i didn't study ever since the term started (I was focusing on manifesting as you see in my latest posts)
But as I started focusing on studying and nothing but studying my manifesting process POURED ON ME!!!!!!! bitch I was complaining about how I don't get money as a college student (we have financial issues) , now as I focused on studying and dropped thinking about manifesting (because my brain is so busy inhaling study sheets) suddenly mom gave me 20$ bucks to buy medical sheets for my studies, then she gave me another 10$ to buy something else if i wanted, later at the same day dad gave me another 20$ JUST BECAUSE (Which never happened) , that was at 24 of December right? Yesterday suddenly a relative of ours got sick, and I have an exam, we had to go pick up my grandma so she visits the relative yeah??? She saw me and decided to give me 20$, and I'M NOT EVEN FOCUSING ON MONEY or manifesting I'm literally busy studying..
Q: So ange what happened there? What does this all mean?
A: I HAD no time to even think against what I want!! That's what fkn happened, before studying I was inhaling affirmations and repeating, now as I've let it go (by inhaling my studies and not having time to think about my manifesting process) it all just worked out, who would know that I will suddenly see my grandma and she'll give me money? I DIDNT SEE HER IN MONTHS!!! that's what they mean when they say everything will move for you to have your desires, for me it was that relative who got sick that caused me to see my grandma (pray for the relative btw thanks<3)
And this here was being nonchalant but I did it by studying, YOU can just say you want this to happen and fkn forget about it, Yk when we complain always about buying this book we DESPERATELY want, or that guitar or that phone or that car or laptop and then when we BOUGHT IT and it's in our room we just- ignore it, literally live as if we never desperately begged for it and that's the fkn key, i never understood what bloggers mean when they say “Embody the person you want to be, dont wish you are, YOU ARE, assume you have it and you will” that's what they fkn mean, weeks ago I was hoping for a 10$ now I've got like 30$ per day!
2. My studies!!!
As a medical student it's fine hard to study medicine, especially when you're lazy like my own dumbass, I only study the days before the exam, for example yesterday I had a midterm for 4 sheets that I studied in 2 days, each sheet have 14 pages that's FILLED with informations, and as a girl who has ADHD and a messy mind it was hard to focus and honestly I'm princess coded I just want shit done without being tired I'm sure you all understand since you're reading this, we want it done in the most simple fast way yeah? Fuck yes we do, so! Whenever I stressed and complained to ANYONE (I'm a complainer) I started reflecting the complaining, if I noticed I was about to complain to my friends or My parents about my studies I just immediately start bragging to them, I be like oh it's so easy to me and I'm even smarter than the professors there and LORD how it's easy to predict their exam questions, and istg as I focused on this technique (if I thought against what I want, I immediately start correcting myself and think as if I'm so smart *I am btw* and it's all so easy to me) that's what fkn happened, yes I got tired and I've got so many back pain while studying but I suddenly started making questions out of the sheet instead of just studying the information as the professor has stated it, for example if he said components of immune system are : innate immune system and acquired immune system, I be like oh that's easy he's gonna ask me : Q: What are the components of immune system?
This made it so much easier to study and the next day in the midterm I saw 6 questions of the ones I fkn made in the sheet!!! It's like I hacked his mind???
3. My last and third example of My life is also about my studies, as I said I'm so princess coded and sensitive af guys, and I hate college as a girl who wants no stress and just success, so the last weeks I skipped college, I was sick and stressed and just had so many issues going on so I didn't go, and that's where they announced my name because I crossed the limit of absence (strict medical bitches) and if you cross this limit they won't let you attend the midterms and therfore you won't pass the final because there is a gap due to the lack of the midterm grades, even if you wanted to pass the final you'd have to get a full mark no matter what so you avoid the damage of not attending the midterm, SINCE my cute ass crossed the limit of absence it means I can't attend the midterm, LOGICALLY it means I failed the midterm already isn't it?
But I just decided that it won't hurt me in anyway, why? Because manifesting isn't about logic, if you tell me you can't fly I'll say I can fly and one day I will!! And guess what? That's what happened
The boss of our major came yesterday (first midterm exame as i said) and called my name, and she gave me a paper saying that I only didn't attend one subject- which is so untrue bitch I skipped them all!!! How tf there's only one subject????? I didn't want to correct her I just signed the paper (signing it is like a promise that I won't do it again) and just like that I survived the whole danger of failing- was it logical?? Did it make sense? NOOOOO but it happened omgmgmfmiquwuwu2!!!!
START BELIEVING THAT IT ISN'T LOGICAL, ITS LIKE SUPERHEROES MOVIES, THEY BELIEVE THEY HAVE THE POWER TO DEFEAT THE VILLAIN AND THIS IS HOW THEY DEFEAT IT, THE VILLAIN HERE IS YOURRRR MINDSET, START DOING WHAT I SAID AND SEE HOW SHIT SHIFTS!!!!
I've got more to say for the examples but I've got to go study (wish me luck btw), I hope I helped I really tried my best to <3!
Ps: another side example is yesterday was hella cold in my country so I wanted a vacation (to study more because as I told yall it was 4 sheets and I stressed myself out so I wanted more time to get my shit together) no one said ANYTHINNNG at all about any vacation, but I just thought "idc they're gonna give us a vacation for the bad weather and that's just it) right next hours the whole country started talking about the vacation due to bad weather, all the fkn cities, but for some reason my stupid town decided that there will be no vacation for us because our town's weather is better than the other towns yk? I'm still mad about it because I was soooo close to manifest it, I guess it was because I kept stressing saying "oh god I want a vacation *crying and complaining*
I don't consider it as a success story because I had no vacation I had to go solve that stupid midterm -_- but bitch I got above 10+ towns to have vacations due to BAD WEATHER, THE WEATHER WAS FINE UNTIL I DECIDED ITS BAD. WTFFFFFF, exactly, no logic, logic doesn't fkn exist I'm about to cry oh my godness!!
Another side success story is that i suddenly started thinking void is so easy (it fkn is) out of nowhere, since i was inhaling attempting to tap into it i sat so many alarms to go try to induce it, now whenever i see the alarms i be like- its so easy why tf im complicating it- just bcs i stopped focusing on it!
cheers to all of us dreamers, I'm sure whoever is reading my post is someone who was one a wattpad person who loves Y/N stories, a Harry potter fan, marvel fan, my hero academy fan, fantasy fan, miraculous ladybug fan, in general ppl who just dont want to be here surrounded with logic boring stuff (in my case a girl who wrote fanfiction novels about one directio) , because I know you and I are here because we are dreamers!! we knew there MUST be a magical key to get out of this logical bullshitful and stupid cruel world, you already have the key you FOUND IT YOU CUTE IDIOT!!! you just need to know how to flick it and get that golden door opened (your pretty subconscious mind), me and you? We are gonna do it, just easy on yourself!!! Xoxo
#loassumption#manifesting#manifestation#success story#loa motivation#robotic affirming#loablr#motivation#loa tumblr#success
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ughghghghhhhhhhhh
#fiaposting#vent incoming!!! sorry lmao#i just like. i dunno. lemme talk a bit to fill in the space#before the tag readmore#ok ok ok ok this is probably good#anyway#FUCK#i really wish there was somewhere i could express. you know. ideation. and talk about past you know ideation#without people automatically thinking im some whiny little traumadumper#or getting worried and forcing ME to be concerned about THEIR wellbeing when IM the one whos struggling#or risking being reported or having the fucking authorities called on me or some shit#everyones like oh if youre feeling like that you should talk to a friend! uwu#oh you should call this number! bring it up to a therapist! uwu uwu uwu#they dont fucking get it#they dont fucking get that its not that simple and it never will be#i understand why the threat of being reported or involuntarily committed is always there#its supposed to be to save peoples lives#i get that#but in my case itll be what fucking does me in#because of that threat i will never open up to anyone and ill keep it all sealed in forever until it really does kill me#and no one SEES A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH THAT#AAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#im not gonna do anything rn dont worry about me i am just really upset lmao
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i am actually losing my fucking mind im having this tech issue where whenever i reblog someone else's post i physically cannot view the tags and its driving me insane.
like u know when u reblog soemones post and leave tags in it and then when u open the reblogs u can read ur own tags alongside everyone else's?? YEA THATS NOT WORKING FOR ME HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO ANYONE.....DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO FIX IT
#im not shadowbanned bc i can still message ppl but like#idk i wanna email staff but i highly doubt theyll get back to me abt smt as trifling as this#ITS JUST SO FUCKING ANNOYING BC LIKE....I WANT TO READ WHAT I WROTE#AND ALSO I DONT LIKE PPLS POST...I REBLOG THEM....SO WHENEVER I SEE A VAGUELY FAMILIAR POST I HAVE TO DO A DOUBLE TAKE#AND B LIKE “HEY HAVE I REBLOGGED THIS BEFORE?? GUESS ILL NEVER KNOW SINCE I CANT CHECK MY OWN TAGS IN THEIR REBLOGS!”#does anyone know how to fix this#ITS BEEN LIKE FIVE DAYS I THOUGHT ITD GO AWAY BY NOW BC IT WAS A SIMPLE TECH ISSUE#IVE TRIED LOGGING OUT AND LOGGING BACK IN#NOTHINGS WORKING
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1634 make me genuinely ill because there are just.... so few bonds in this sport where you look at them and go. that was 100% meant to happen like that and no one else could've slotted in. like yea, so many of players across the league form close bonds and friendships bc that's the nature of spending a whole part of your life sharing a common goal and space when you're like.. doing this team activity... and guys are constantly befriending ppl and moving on... but auston and mitch it's like. it's almost like THEY feel that they were supposed to have that bond... and go out of their way to reaffirm it at every turn... like they met and got along and loved each other immediately and were so excited to get to play hockey together only to NOT get to for a long while and while they waited, they ??? developed all these rituals. and these things together... their personal routines, things to communicate to each other that they have each other's backs and are building each other into their visions and superstitions and dreams, some of which we'll never know about (unless they'd so kindly like to tell us a la mitch's interview with cabbie where he says maybe some day he'll share the gifts auston's gotten him w the world. tell all book when mitch).. but their gloves and their handshakes and their warmups and even the way they walk into road games and it's jsut. like it's friendship, for sure, obviously. they get along off the ice and make each other laugh the most and have a good time, but it's also the inextricable linking of their own careers. BY THEIR OWN DOING. like they want their names jotted next to each other and that's PART of the chase for this greater goal. yes, they would have been talked about in tandem anyway bc they're out here being the best leafs ever and hitting milestones like 500 points.... 600 points... just weeks apart from each other season to season. but also it's their commitment to each other that makes them talked about too. it's commentators saying they love to play together bc they can see it. they've heard them talk about it. they watch it. "marner to matthews" "matthews to marner". they're always gonna know where each other are.... it makes me . feel. violent with love, lol. makes me feel like some things are definitely meant to be.
#dont even get me started on the way they just slot in next to each other as ppl too#like the perfect complementary pair in SO many ways#having things in common but plenty of things not. to always keep it interesting. adapting n shaping to who is around too#and the way they respect each others opinion and its so. DOCUMENTED. like. auston thinkin hes underrated too fkldjs#ITS JUST SO ? THE CONSTANT LOVE AND SUPPORT ON SOCIAL MEDIA...#MORE THAN FOR ANYONE OR ANYTHING ELSE LIKE . IT GAGS ME... its so simple#feel like ive consumed so much hockey content across the board and the only ppl who compete are like#duos with years and years more on them flksdjfkl#kills me to think abt how much more lore we could know if they werent in toronto as a market liek#how much more open they could and would willingly be fkldsj yet.#part of the whole destiny thing is being there in toronto together too#mitchs home town. auston saddled w the weight of the franchise but also.#feeling like mitch helps him carry it. and hell give him credit any chance he can#co captains fucking when. maybe never but in my ddremas always#its almsot 1am im delirious but ive just#been surfing through some blogs today.. sorting some files on my own computer of them and just the AMOUNT of stuff ive savelkdjklfflkds#STAGGERING. THEY LOVE AEAHC OTHER SO BAD I LITERLALY#AM IN TEARS#1634#who else even does it like this like#i long to be compelled but nothing even touches it. everything else is just. fragments of fiction. WHERE IS THE POETRYY THE FATE THE LONGIN#i need to start a new project or smth im losing my mind
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Magneto would love lumpia meanwhile Charles would have his Bibingka and Puto Bungbong hehe
Happy Holidays!
asks that remind me my bitchass friend kayla promised to make me *puto two years ago and she still hasnt
*puto is a filipino rice cake i do know it also means 'bitch' in spanish we do not have to address that thank you
#snap chats#'snap is the disclaimer necessary' every single time i mention 'puto' i get people clutching their pearls yes it is necessary vjAVKJ#LIKE I GET IT. CAN WE TALK ABOUT RICE CAKES NOW im hungry ...#kayla always gets beef from me but esp with puto and i only mention this when it was promised two years ago#cause SHE will always bring it up like 'oh yeah i still have to make you puto' bitch just forget it ive made it three times since then 😭#PUTO ISNT EVEN HARD TO MAKE LEGITIMATELY YOU JUST MAKE THE BATTER AND PUT IT IN THE SHIT AND STEAM IT#add a slice of cheddar on top if youre feeling especially nasty .... its so good .... anyway ..... rice cake ... i love it ...#i havent had bibingka in so long tho im PISSED. you know what else is really good tho cassava cake .. thats not rice but. lol#i never get to have filipino food on account of my mom hating cooking anything that isnt tiramisu knock offs#she really doesnt make filipino food she hasnt for years. my dad always does tho ..... whatever ....#i could always cook it myself of course. yeah... im lazy ill admit it you got me 😔#oh my god no you know whats great for the winter tinola I LOVE. chicken tinola so much#funny enough i learned how to make it when i was in the hospital from a filipino girl 🥰 we did not speak anymore after that interaction.#Also funny my fam and i were just talking about getting lumpia for christmas since theres like one (1) filipino place vaguely near us#'you guys dont make it??' on account of the fact im too lazy to make wrappers and no store near us sells any no <3#i did make lumpia myself once tho when we Did have wrappers after drivign out an hour to an asian market once#not to brag but they were pretty delicious ..... anyway ..#oh my god fuck me theres this like. speaking of rice cakes again JALKJKALJ theres this one with this delicious coconut sauce#BIKO IT'S BIKO its literally glutinous rice steamed in banana leaf with latik. UGH SOOO yummy ..... i dont have banana leaves anymore tho :#OH YOU KNOW WHATS ALSO GOOD FOR THE HOLIDAY lechon. that was my fave part bout goin to my dad's christmas parties#they had this big ass pig and i loved the ear .... crunchy as hell and so good 🤤 i havent had it in at least a decade tho..#now im hungry. and homesick. 'homesick for yoru dad?' homesick for my dad <- literally just saw him#well i get to see him again thursday :) goin to the doctor... gonna get my medicine again life is gonna be SO good !!!!!!#i have rambled far too long . happy holidays my friends !!!! do try to make puto this season ... very simple and very tasty .......
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post-s11 Tami definitely gets tired of Lip and leaves him.
yes, I do like them as a couple, I think it is an interesting dynamic and that Tami is good for him honestly, even though they lived completely different lives and crash so many times because of it throughout the last seasons.
fact is Lip won't ever change and will keep making the same kind of mistakes and she will get fed up with it eventually. they'll go different ways, maybe keep a somewhat friendly relationship, and she will get a new partner and Lip will have a Sean kind of relationship with Fred: that kid is the most important thing in his whole life and he's constantly hunted by the fear of drinking again and hurting Fred.
#headcanon?#its not that i desire lip to be unhappy and unlovable i just feel like he wont get his happy ending living the way he is#making the decisions hes making treating people the way he does#i feel like he is going to mature by the power of love because of fred i truly believe that#also no fucking way hes going to be poor for the rest of his life hes a genius and a southside he will get up and fix this up#i like him as a mecanic but that one s11 scene that he saves that dude a lot of money in the computer doing a super simple thing#means to me hes not done with the whole engineer thing. he just will need lots of money and labs he used to have acess at college and doesn#anymore but he will do whats necessary and turn things around definitely#maybe he thinks he can pull this off without going back to college and eventually realises he cant and then has to try to pick up his credi#and finish somewhere near? i dont know i dont understand lots about US educational system#honestly my dream is for him to work for debbie so she could be his boss it would be his life karma and make her happy#but that would never happen unfortunately#lip gallagher#tami tamietti#fred gallagher#shameless#shameless us#og.#fic idea
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i can draw rime so nicely when its just like 15 minute sketches god forbid i sit down to draw her seriously & she just becomes completely uncooperative. why must u be difficult tenshi wouldnt do this to me.
#this could be so cute if she LET ME DRAW HER#TENSHI wouldnt be this difficult whats ur PROBLEM. LET ME DRAW YOU.#okay from an art perspective the problem actually appears to be the angle and lack of motion#but its more fun to say shes being uncooperative#and since my mecchi is so so jealous of tenshi she can get compared to her.#revenge for making me mad#u want to be her so bad yet u cant even be a good model for me to draw come ON#sorry im going thru it in so many ways rn#im like never satisfied with how i draw rime theres always something off no matter how i try#even the ones ive posted like come ON. UR NOT EVEN THAT DIFFICULT. WHAT IS UR PROBLEM#none of the series girls give me this issue. fuck kafu and sekai dont give me this issue#coko is an issue in herself theres so many parts to her outfit. i havent draw haru enough to say#what i have drawn of her hasnt given me any issue tho#rime is so simple WHY must u trouble me so#coloring her eyes is a different story i style havent figure out what i want to do there#im talking about just. sketching out an outfit on her.#what EVEN ever goodbye
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i hope tottmnt puts heart back into the inevitable Meet Casey Jones episode that's honestly all i can ask of any tmnt project
#ikildaman shut the fuck up#tmnt#2k3's rendition of this is everything u guys dont understand......#'12s was such a nothingburger midfest 2k3 had the heart to empathise with raph.#and gave casey his wriggle room for redemption but i moreso cared about the grace raph was given#casey in general in '12 was kindof a nothingburger he had plenty of leads to build on but never got explored#bayverse turned him into a cop and rot just incorrectly labelled karai with his name#and then they were like oh whoops no here he is actually in that movie or whatever. idfk i dont like rot#pleeeeeeeaaaase somebody give a fuck about casey. GUYS!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME#ive known ppl who were emotionally irregular and were super abusive abt it and ive known others who literally never did anything wrong ever#2k3 was so simple in its terms. theres nothing Wrong with you but you have to get your shit in order if youre losing it#this was 2003 how did television peak in 2003#also casey kindof remained a basketcase somewhat. hes still very outwardly destructive. hes never villanised for it though.#if we're getting Back To Form (thank god) can we not do a '12 and do sumpthing a little more 2k3#and can we Especially not do a rot and just pissfart around acknowledging the coolest deuterag this franchise has#also unrelated. i hope this animation isnt paced like rots was. whatever processing disorder i have genuinely cant keep up with it#a crumb of readability sir....?
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trying to shop for a swimsuit is a different kind of hell
#even online its so fucked#i know what i want#i know what i can wear#but i cant find it anywhere#plus i had to explain and yell at my mom cuz i have explaiend it 30 thousand times and i get mad if ppl dont understand somehting so simple#like yes i know bigger sizes are bigger but theyre never big enough#i just want to swim#and not feel like death in the process#mentally or physically#(cuz those damn athletic swimsuit tops need to dislocate ur shoulders to put them one and im in so much shoulder pain recently)
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everytime I think even just a little bit that I'm starting to sort of get better at speaking aloud, somebody will say something horrible to me about my voice and ruin everything
#im so glad i don't have to speak aloud on yhe internet. i will only ever share my voice with internet people that are extremely accepting#but in real life i have no choice but to speak aloud and it is desroying me. im trying so hard to get better at speaking#i have gotten better in some areas. my pronunciation of words is better than when i was a kid i think!#thr only words i think i mispronounce often are actually sort of simple ones like 'the' or 'that'#the one thing ill never ever be able to get rid of is the stuttering#and ill never be able to change that i just . sound autistic i guess?#i dunno i get called retarded for my voice but also. i get retarded for everything i do#thank you classmates. i am going to kill myself#is anybody out there reading this? if you are are you familiar with any ways to get rid of stuttering#i have stuttered for my whole life#and i get made fun of it all the time#but when i ask how to stop nobody ever helps me#ive tried so hard to stop!! i dont wanna stutter#and also i think just the way my voice sounds and the volume which i speak at is part of the problem#again those are things i don't know how to change . i don't know#im never gonna have a voice im comfortable with huh#why am i lying in bed abd typing a tumblr vent post again im so sick of this#maybe i should just stop speaking at all#im only going to communicate through meows now#meow meow meow. meow#i can't stop thinking about my voice and how much i hate it and how much everyone else hates it. bleh#throat hurts for some reason but i dunno why#i thinj im going to avoid speaking aloud from now on because its not worth the pain#life sucks#so much. so fucking much
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unforchies "would you, viren?" does still kinda slap contextually. ill give them that one.
#s.txt#IS HE WORTH ALL THIS? IS IT A SIMPLE YES? BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE TO THINK ITS FUCKED and so on and so forth#like viren would 😩 he would 😩 but he hesitated. dont you even get it....#unforchies the rest of their dynamic never again goes to those heights. SAD. oh well at least theres other guys#stupid dragon show
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bc its like. i cant Get better in this house yk. im safer here and im so thankful for that but i cant like. i cant get myself on a schedule bc nobody else has a schedule so for example if i want.to do my laundry on sundays sometimes i cant bc theres still laundry in there and ive told my mom this and stuff and she does her best but its like. i cant do that for every single thing yk
#it judt feels pointless to try to be better bc it never lasts and i cant do it like#fully in the way that i want so whats the point. i might as well just get high and rot away. yk.#ik this is a stupid fucking reaction to Being out of litter but its not about rhe fucking litter its about everything#im trying to be better at washing the dishes bc when i have my apartment im just going to wash the dishes after every meal so they dont pile#up. bc i fuckig hate piled up dishes#but i cant do that here bc everybody just piles up their dishes so even if i wash mine they always just fucking pile up anyway#i just want my apartment but im too fucking lazy to get the stupid fucking ged and to get a fucking job and i hate everything#i dont want out that badly i love being back i missed everyone so much its so much fucking better than it was but i just wish i was like#on track. you know. im so behind everybody else#the house is a fucking pigsty and nobody does anything about it because nobody else does#and we all judt fucking wallpw about it#bc even when we do manage to grt the houde clean it fuckjng gets dirty again bc nobody can do simple fucking maintenance on it#and im jncluding myself in this. theres a reason im shut up in my room majority of my time
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hmmmmmm.................vent post under tags...... feel free to give advice or dont¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#i think this is an autism related thing#but i genuinely feel like i wasnt made right for the world we live in#like something is just missing from me that ive never seen ppl talk about#and i know this is going to sound entitled and privileged and i KNOW i know i promise and im so lucky i can even be thinking about this but#it feels weird to have the privilege to be scared#this is specifically in regards to working#like having a job. like going to work#i feel like im missing an extremely important part of my brain or my BEING that is capable ot going through the motions of participating#in society. i never felt that switch of wanting to get a job in high school to make money for myself and get that experience#i feel like there's something i MISSED where everyone took a class on how to apply and go to interviews and write resumes and not be scared#like i NEED to be walked through every SINGLE step because i dont know HOW#and i see my peers and the literal entire world around me participating in this atmosphere and i dont know where to start#im fucking twenty three years old and ive only ever been an intern and an assistant#not even a full year of working#i cant drive and i probably wont ever because thats a whole other can of worms#and that means i have to rely on other people to even get to wherever it was i needed to go#i feel like a fucking child because im missing this knowledge that everyone else seems to have#ive tried i really have but none of it seems simple and its all so much and there arent steps to follow#i mean there ARE but its like 1) look up job 2) apply 3) interview 4) yay you're employed#and im talking about each micro step inbetween#what am i missing#and then theres the fucking demand avoidance that slaps me across the face whenever my mom brings it up to me like i KNOW youre being#supportive and encouraging and its not your fault my brain turns off and decides im full of shame bc i cant CONFRONT ANYTHING#jesus christ#manf i know u can see this maybe dont bring it up to mom i can do that on my own maybe#i WANT to help i just want to help at my own pace but unfortunately the world isnt built around individual paces and nothing revolves#around me. i know this#i want to help my mom i want her to never be stressed about money and to retire and never work or help me pay my student loans but i#genuinely feel like theres a switch that never turned on in my head and im being left behind and i genuinely dont know how to. like be alive
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ok im listening to the doc and wow this dude really needs to move on from the 80s and get a life... BUT also the doc is trying to make it seem like all teens in the 80s 'identified' with these characters? is that true for you guys? i never did. but i also didnt identify with clue*less or even vero*nica mars which was pretty solidly my era. the doc is trying to claim that this hegemony of 'identification' is a good thing and that the multiple options of today is making it harder for teens to relate to each other as a group. but the doc is saying this from the pov of a rich white dude. i would argue that today's much broader representation - watching a korean american girl starring in her own teen girl rom com where she is shown to look past the racism of the 80s movies in order to enjoy sixteen c*andles.... I think that is a million times better than what came before. the definition of who could tell stories in the 80s was so much more narrow, it was absurd. and to all the boys was blatantly critiquing that. it was supposed to be sad that lara jean is forced to endure stereotypes just to get her movie romance fix. it's also notable in that movie that lara jean identified most with books, where you could kind of imagine a main character however you wanted even if technically you knew they didnt look like you.
tldr my question to my other 30 somethings would be if 'br*at pack' was ever a bad thing in your lifetime and if you actually identified with these kids in the movies who seemed to have no direction or care in life beyond their tiny little suburban world. cause that was certainly never me as a teen lol. fascinating to watch and fun to imagine living as but not relatable.
#jrnlsht#its like people who think miss swifts music is enjoyed by teen girls because they all identify with it#rather than it just being an appealing ideal and simple narrative to enjoy more than real life#also EVERYONE i knew growing up looked at the bra*t pack affectionately like breakfast*c*lub was idolized#it was a good story! it was fun to watch!#maybe 80s kids really did grow up that sheltered with a small world?#growing up in the 90s we were painfully aware of our place in the world and that even as children we had to have goals in life#and that there was no time for fucking around#but we also had 9*/11 and the poltical fallout which sparked debates at the middle school lunch table#i imagine teens nowadays are probably even more aware of global conflict around them than I was#or maybe my group of friends were just weird and everybody around us were clueless without our realizing#i dont think so though i give teenagers more credit than that#i mean i was younger than 10 when people started asking what college i was going to#not my parents btw im talking total strangers#my dad never put any pressure on me to do anything it was not his style#his style was disappointment if i ever put a toe out of line lol#like yes of course you arent going to college sure thats fine but still if you dont take the hardest classes and#get straight As you will shame me#which 100% worked i idolized my dad#and then i went to one of the top colleges in the country like it was easy 🤣
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what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group
#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever#im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point#and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn#selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too#we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right#get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure#what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye#AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care#she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us#what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not#taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg#just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg#why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend#and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic#and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc#but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever#if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die#sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP#id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh#post#nickpost#will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1#i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it#sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh#nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone#living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh#adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway#its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her#bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships
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TAKEN SALVATION
#experiencing thoughts abt yves and telly's fight alright...#sighes..#bingo art#yves#lancer rpg#you may be asking. why are they fighting.... simple#they are both stupid as hell#(endearingly)#violence cw#blood#but yeah no in actuality. yves feels like telly took his martyrdom and a chance of salvation by saving his life#(even though yves was very afraid of the prospect of death and realized it wasnt HIS own desire to die)#but still hes so upset with telly they kinda just fought it out#and by fought it out i mean yves gave telly a smackdown#telly's a decent guy he just doesnt know when to not press ppls buttons#cuz he immediately implied a threat towards elias and thats what made yves just say fuck you and tackle the guy#alongside the martyr thing but thats where most of the rage towards telly is coming from#they just really dont get along. its very antagonistic towards each other. telly tried at some point but theres a huge disconnect#between the two#they dont get each other and they never will yk#yves is a powerhungry assholr and telly is an indecisive asshole
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