#ITS JUST SO FUCKING ANNOYING BC LIKE....I WANT TO READ WHAT I WROTE

[lotus-pear]

i am actually losing my fucking mind im having this tech issue where whenever i reblog someone else's post i physically cannot view the tags and its driving me insane.

like u know when u reblog soemones post and leave tags in it and then when u open the reblogs u can read ur own tags alongside everyone else's?? YEA THATS NOT WORKING FOR ME HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO ANYONE.....DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO FIX IT

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[punkshort]

It didn't mean anything

An I Know Who You Are drabble

Thank you anon for this request!

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Joel finds out about your history with Ben for the first time.

Warnings: language, smut (18+ MDNI), unprotected piv sex, possessive!joel (might be a bit over the line but i got carried away, sue me), jealous!joel, edging, rough sex but turns soft (bc of course)

WC: 2.1K

A/N: this is a request I had for a series I wrote but I think it could be read on its own.

"Where's my fuckin' glasses?" Joel roared from upstairs.

"Wherever you left them last!" you shouted back from the kitchen. You were tired and just wanted to go to bed but Joel was really starting to piss you off, so you made an excuse to come down to the kitchen to cool off.

It wasn't working.

"I left 'em on my goddamn book where I always leave 'em. You were movin' shit around up here today, you must've done somethin' with 'em," you heard him snap from the depths of your shared bedroom. You rolled your eyes and dug your fingers into the back of a chair to try to ground yourself. You knew his anger was misplaced. It wasn't really about the glasses.

Tonight at dinner you made one little innocuous comment about an old flame, Ben, another resident of Jackson, completely forgetting you hadn't found the chance to tell Joel about him yet, and it was all downhill from there.

Your relationship with Joel was still new. Well, not really.

It was and it wasn't.

This part of your relationship was new. Living together, sharing your lives together, loving each other... all of that was new. The sex was not new.

So maybe it was a little bit your fault for not telling Joel about Ben sooner. But it was the middle of the goddamn apocalypse and things like that didn't really cross your mind anymore. Besides, what you had with Ben didn't mean a thing. It was for comfort and stress relief on both sides, no feelings were involved whatsoever. And if that wasn't enough, Ben was also currently in a loving, committed relationship with your mutual friend, Lisa.

Joel didn't seem to care about any of that. He was still worked up, stomping around upstairs, slamming drawers shut and muttering under his breath.

It was really fucking annoying.

His heavy footsteps thundering down the stairs was the next thing you heard and you braced yourself for more of his attitude. Storming into the kitchen, he pushed things around on the counters as if his glasses could be hidden behind the flour while you stood at the table glaring at him. When he inevitably was unsuccessful, he spun around angrily with his hands on his hips.

"You gonna help me look or you just gonna stand there?"

With your nostrils flared and your jaw clenched, you marched across the kitchen, coming to a halt directly in front of him. Without breaking eye contact, you lifted an arm above his head and plucked his glasses from his hair, then blindly dropped them on the counter.

"Well?"

His eyes shifted to the glasses and back to you as he tried to hide his embarrassment.

"I'm goin' to bed," he muttered, leaving the glasses and heading for the stairs.

You scoffed in disbelief. "What? I don't get a thank you?"

He whipped around and stalked back over to you, his reaction so fast it startled you and had you backing up against the kitchen wall.

"What else should I thank you for? Hm?" he asked lowly, bracketing both arms on the wall on either side of your head. He stared down at you, anger rolling off him in waves, eyes dark and fuming. "Should I thank you for makin' me feel like a fuckin' idiot tonight? For not tellin' me somethin' you know I shoulda known 'bout months ago?"

"I already apologized, Joel! What more do you want from me? You didn't tell me about Angie until-"

"That was different an' you know it!" he yelled, smacking the wall beside you with the flat of his hand. "We weren't together then! You weren't livin' with me, sleepin' in my bed-"

"Goddamnit, Joel! It didn't mean anything!" You were mere inches apart, your hot, angry breath fanned over his face with every word. "I-I never even think about him like that! He was the only fucking guy I knew and I just wanted to get my mind off of the end of the fucking world every now and then!"

"I don't want you seein' him," he said, his tone threatening. "Ever. You pass him in the street, you just keep walkin'. He's on fuckin' fire, it ain't your problem."

"Who the hell do you think you are?" you seethed, but the arousal was already pooling warm between your legs. "You think you can tell me what to do?"

"Yeah, I do," he said through clenched teeth, then grabbed your jaw with one of his big hands. "'Cause you're mine."

You whimpered when his mouth crashed down on yours, teeth and tongues colliding messily as he pulled you off the wall. Your fingers twisted in his flannel, tugging and pushing him this way and that, acting as if you had any fight in you whatsoever.

"Shit," you gasped when his mouth traveled down to your neck and his hand cupped your aching core through your jeans. He applied some pressure with the tip of his fingers, locating your clit with practiced ease, and you tipped your head back with a moan. Your fingers that were once wrestling with the fabric of his shirt were now lost in his hair, holding the back of his head in place so he had no choice but to suck and bite marks across your collarbone.

His fingers were moving fast over the seam of your jeans, rubbing and pinching your sex through the thick denim, dragging you to the precipice just to deny you your orgasm at the last moment by pulling his hand away.

You whined and tugged his hair as hard as you could, trying to make it hurt, but he just chuckled and straightened back up. "Turn around."

Obediently, you swiveled around and braced your hands on the counter, your breath coming in sharp, excited pants as he unbuttoned your jeans and slid them down to your knees, your underwear quickly following.

He dipped one thick finger into your folds from behind and your back instantly arched. You felt his belt digging into the flesh of your ass when he ground his hips against you and brought his mouth to your ear. "You're so fuckin' wet, baby. You like workin' me up like this?"

You bit your lip and closed your eyes when he slid his finger inside your leaking cunt. "Maybe," you whispered, then moaned when he curled his finger inside you, purposely teasing you by not giving you enough. Just as quickly as he gave you his finger, he took it away, leaving you feeling hopelessly empty again.

"I think you do. And I think you need me to remind you why you're in my bed every night 'n not his."

Your thing with Ben ended before you even arrived in Jackson, before you even knew who Joel was, so to imply he was even remotely some type of competition was ridiculous. But when you heard the jingle of his belt and the metallic zip of his jeans being undone, you decided it to point that out another time.

"Fuck!" you cried out when he entered you with one quick thrust. Your arm shot backwards, hand searching for some part of him to hold on to. His hand found yours and laced your fingers together before looping both your arms around your front, holding you close. He was breathing heavily in your ear, giving you a few moments to gather yourself and allow your walls to relax around his girth.

"Fuck," you said again, but this time it was breathier and more at ease. The initial sting was fading with every shaky breath and even though he was driven by jealousy and irrational anger, he didn't want to hurt you. He never wanted to hurt you. At the end of the day, he knew how you felt about him and that was all that mattered, so he gave you as much time as you needed before experimentally rolling his hips. You moaned his name and pushed your ass against him, urging him to continue.

With one of his hands still bonded with yours across your ribs and the other spread wide and flat over the cool counter next to your hip, he bent forward and slammed into you a little rougher, a little harder, until the mixed sounds of your skin slapping together and the lewd wetness from your pussy filled the air.

"He ever fuck you like this? Make you feel as good as I do? Huh?" he groaned into your neck. Your body jolted forward against the edge of the counter with every forceful thrust, knocking the wind out of you but you managed to shake your head and offer a weak no.

You wished you could spread your legs wider but you were restricted by the material bunched around your knees, so instead you arched your back and pushed your ass back against his hips. Again and again, you rocked your hips onto his cock, matching his rhythm as sweat began to collect on the back of your neck and the muscles in your stomach tightened. Joel flattened his tongue against your skin, drinking down your sweat with a deep moan.

"Taste so good, sweetheart. Feel s'good too... fuck - yeah, yeah - keep doin' that."

You whined and tilted your head to the side, searching for his mouth. When you found it, you hungrily slanted your lips together, tongue invading, licking past his teeth while your free hand reached back to splay wide across the side of his face.

You gasped when the tip of his cock brushed against something inside you that made your vision wobble. Your nails raked pathetically against his skin and your walls clenched around him, silently begging for more when words failed you.

"I love you," he whispered, hips still ruthlessly crashing into you, forehead pressed against your hair, hot breath panting in your ear.

"I love you, too," you mumbled back. "S-so deep like this, Joel, fuck," you whimpered, brows pinching together as you struggled for air. Your legs tensed and your eyes flashed wide open, searching for him as you felt yourself near your peak. His eyes were dark and filled with animalistic desire as he laid claim to you in the middle of your kitchen, and even though his jealousy was severely misplaced, it fanned the flames of excitement inside you.

You were his, and he was yours.

The coil snapped and you sobbed his name, body going rigid under his touch but he fucked you through it, to not only prolong your orgasm but to join you, as well.

"Oh, god," he mumbled repeatedly, his thrusts becoming sloppy, his hands flexing and breath growing ragged before pulling out and spilling himself all over your backside with a heavy groan.

Your upper body slumped across the counter, arms spread wide, eyes squeezed shut. Your legs trembled as you fought to remain upright but soon it wouldn't be your concern. Joel grabbed the nearest dish towel and cleaned you up before dragging your underwear and jeans back up, leaving them unbuttoned, before hastily doing the same to his own so he could gently lift you into his arms.

"You okay?"

You hummed and nodded sleepily against his chest. To your surprise, he bent down to scoop you up with one arm under your knees and he carried you to the couch, setting you down carefully and brushing the loose strands of hair from your face. He stayed there with you, quietly kneeling next to the couch, rubbing soothing circles over your arm, your stomach, your hips until you finally opened your eyes with a sigh. His head was resting against his forearm but he lifted it up when he heard you and gave you a little grin. You smiled back and brushed the pad of your thumb over one of his eyebrows, taking in every fine line, scar and freckle over his beautiful face.

"You don't have to be so jealous, you know. There's nothing to worry about."

He snorted and nipped at your thumb. "I know."

You bit your lip and playfully tapped the tip of his nose. "But maybe we can do that again sometime because that was really hot."

He chuckled and pressed his hands into the cushion of the couch so he could stand with a groan, fingers digging into his lower back with a wince. "You're gonna be the death of me one day."

You giggled and forced yourself to stand, not even bothering buttoning your jeans as you headed for the stairs. "You coming?" you asked him over your shoulder. He nodded.

"Lemme lock up and turn the lights off."

You yawned and continued up the steps, a little smirk pulling at your lips when you reached the top, and you paused.

"Don't forget your glasses."

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[andre-and-cal]

Smooch

give us some lil Caldre headcanons

Smooches smooch :3

Here’s my Caldre headcanons !! (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)

THIS IS TECHNICALLY PART 1 BC ANON POOKIE WANTED FREAKY HEADCANONS SO PART 2 IS NEXT

SFW

During sleepovers, Calvin and Andre usually play video games together on Andre’s PlayStation 2, and occasionally Cal’s Nintendo 64. Andre can get pretty competitive, but Cal doesn’t really take him seriously unless they’re both in an intense game of Half-Life— to which they’re both yelling at each other. Though it’s mostly Andre yelling at Cal. Yet by the time the night is over, they’re both cuddling as if they hadn’t woken up their parents and— if at Cal’s house— Cal’s siblings.

Cal occasionally sits on his bed like a teenage girl in some romcom movie whenever he’s on the phone with Andre. You know, that one pose where you lie on your tummy with your legs moving back and forth behind you and all— I’m trying to describe it in the best way I can, but Calvin mainly just does this because he thinks it’s funny.

This is unrelated but I know Andre and Cal would love playing GTA Online together in GTA 5 if they hadn’t gone through with Zero Day and if they hadn’t offed themselves.

Andre drew swastikas and wrote hate speech on his English I binder in freshman year. He obviously doesn’t actually have those beliefs; he just found it funny and found other students’ reactions amusing. But after he handed in his binder when it was time for a binder check in class, his teacher never gave the binder back to him LMAO.

Growing up, Cal was convinced that when someone was mean to you, they liked you. Sometimes he honestly acted like a prick to Andre for this reason, because he wanted to try and show him that he liked him without telling him that he did. And for a period of time he believed that Brad Huff had a crush on him and Andre, but that quickly dissipated when he brought it up to Andre. Andre had gotten extremely annoyed at him, quickly correcting his beliefs.

Cal and Andre watch gore videos on the internet to get themselves “used to seeing people dead”. The earliest shock site I can think of, LiveLeak, was established in 2006, so before that, I know these two found a way to stumble upon graphic gore videos when the internet was in its early age. Andre and Cal initially were extremely queasy about it and wouldn’t be able to watch more than a few seconds— but this was during freshman year, so over time they were able to watch more without having to exit out of the video.

Late night calls! Sometimes, if Cal’s feeling extra low and down or is stuck with his negatively ruminating thoughts, he’ll call Andre up on his flip phone in the middle of the night, just to hear his voice. And Andre’s jokes, even if he’s grumpy from being woken up— always cheer Cal up. No matter what, Andre always answers— he kind of has to anyways ‘cause his flip phone ringtone is fucking loud LMAO.

Cal got a virus on the family computer so Andre and his dad had to come over to his house to try and fix it. Ultimately, since computer viruses were a lot more destructive in the early 2000s, they were unable to fix the computer. However, Cal’s parents didn’t make him pay for it, assuming it was an accident, and instead paid for a new computer themselves.

Cal loves jumping spiders and lizards. He also read Jurassic Park when he was younger and he watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He read Jurassic Park with Andre in middle school, and they also played dinosaurs in middle school— where they chased each other around with one of them pretending to be the dinosaur. However, he and Andre stopped playing that game after Cal fell and hit his head on the wall in his house. Hearing Cal’s wails prompted Andre to drop down beside him and try and calm him down, and he felt terrible for what happened. Luckily, Cal only had a small bump and a minor concussion.

Andre never wanted a cat when he was younger, always trying to convince his parents and Cal that he didn’t like animals, complaining and saying shit like “Uhhg dogs are smelly and loud:/” and “Cats scratch people”. But as soon as his family and Cal’s family saved up money to buy him a kitten, Mel, they became attached to the hip. Mel is his baby.

Andre gets annoyed when Cal procrastinates when doing a task. He knows he can’t help it because of his ADHD— as I can see him as having the inattentive type (such as myself LMAO)— but he can’t help but feel angry that he doesn’t get shit done. But that’s Andre’s own short fuse projecting onto Cal sometimes. With my own personal experiences of being constantly reminded to do something until I do it, Cal likely struggles with the same— except from Andre or his parents.

Cuddles !! Cal does like to be held by Andre, but most of the time he favors feeling Andre’s body pressed up against him and in his arms— which works for Andre because he secretly prefers being the little spoon as well. He gets kind of embarrassed asking to be held, so he always tries to signal to Calvin to take the initiative and ask him if he wants to be the little spoon outright. However, it’s gotten so frequent that Cal doesn’t even need to ask anymore, Andre will just slowly scoot into his arms. Andre’s happy place is being held in Cal’s arms, hidden away from the rest of the putrid world, with nothing that could possibly harm him or Cal.

Cal absolutely LOVES flustering Andre by giving him gentle nose kisses.

Andre calls Cal affectionate names in German. Cal never knows what they mean and always asks Andre whenever he calls him something like “Schatz”, yet even though Andre gets red in the face, he still explains it to Cal. It makes Cal feel warm and fuzzy inside, and he likes hearing Andre speak German, having found the language and culture immensely interesting— which is totally not because Andre is German.

Since Andre has a bit of a deeper voice, he can imitate a vocal fry— that “growly” noise that metal singers do— pretty well, especially from his favorite rock and metal songs. ‘Cause let’s be so fr he got into heavy metal and hard rock because of Cal. Calvin LOVES hearing Andre do that vocal fry, and he just stares at him admiringly as he sings along to a favorite metal song of his.

Cal plays whatever Andre wants on his guitar. Andre can’t resist leaning in and tenderly kissing the blond after he’s finished strumming.

One time, in middle school, Cal and Andre were arguing so loudly that Andre’s mother made them wear a “get-along” shirt. Needless to say, with both of them being closeted at the time and crushing hard, their angry moods dissipated and they secretly enjoyed the close proximity, despite them acting as if they didn’t like it. Their red faces gave them away, though. However, Andre’s mother thought nothing of it.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/13/2024

i think i'm going to take a break from scifi written by men for a bit

listening

Ahmed Malek's Les Vacances de L'inspecteur Tahar, from the 1972 film of the same name.

if i can be really really real for a minute here the only thing i've listened to more than twice this week is GUESS by charli xcx but i don't want to have the same tuesdaysong twice in a row. this would make for an annoying end of year playlist.

i got an ad for a collected set of Ahmed Malek's Algerian jazz music on instagram. a session musician in Algiers, he made his name as a soundtrack composer with this comedic detective movie and was in demand for the rest of his life-- he's still really beloved in the African jazz scene, his works are super collectible, and his daughter gifted all his masters to a tiny record company so they could rerelease and preserve them.

it sounds exactly how you think a 70s cop movie should sound. impeccable example of the genre. instantly evocative. i wonder if it influenced the wider cop drama soundscape or if it's just an early example?

-

reading

many books disappointed me a great deal this week.

thank you philip.

the only comic i did like was Marauders (2019-2022), trying to get a little bit more into the xmen since my bestie has decided we're watching all their movies. this is really fun bc i knew who kitty pryde was, and she's a privateer captain who looks beat to shit the whole book. extremely fun and gay and swashbuckling, i placed holds for the other volumes already.

the two rogue and gambit books assumed i knew more about those characters than i already did, and had a heavy reliance on flashbacks and references to other issues.

the magic order was insufferable and did not stick its landing. made me worry about the characters and then feel really fucking stupid for worrying about the characters. i don't know why i keep trying mark millar books and thinking i will like them.

HOTELITOR had a very fun concept (mech hotel), but was a little more middle-grade than i was expecting, even from a teen book. very calarts visual style. very power of friendship will undo an evil corporation, which, i wish.

this little mermaid manga was not for me. and that's fine. most manga isn't for me.

we have to take a brief detour into how i store my books (poorly). these big middle shelves hold an unsorted mass, mostly of stuff i'm not sure i want to keep. i'm trying to be more thoughtful about which books i keep bc realistically i do not reread very often (if at all) and i am running out of space. as much as i love weird little scifi and fantasy paperbacks it would be cool if they all fit on one shelf.

here are four books i rapidly cycled through this weekend that are going to be donated.

Michael Moorcock's The Black Corridor, 1969, about a man slowly going insane in a spaceship fleeing a politically violent Earth with his friends and relations in cryosleep. not a very beloved Moorcock book among the Moorcock fans. this has a heavy focus on the rise of British fascism and i'm not now, nor will i ever be, in the mood for this. a shame bc this slim hardcover has proportions that were very nice to hold.

Thomas Burnett Swan's Where is the Bird of Fire?, 1970, three not quite short stories but not quite novellas about mythical creatures at the founding of Rome, Xerxes the Great's empire, and Britain near the fall of Rome. states very clearly exactly what it is on the tin and delivers it, unfortunately i don’t like any of the flavors on offer. every single one of these has the half-coy kind of sex scene common in historical fiction, where in order to represent the past accurately and with full verisimilitude we Must convey that they fucked nasty and had fun doing it. many times. unfortunately a middle aged man wrote these and our erotic sensibilities are Very far apart.

Glen Cook's Cold Copper Tears, 1988, a noirish urban fantasy. there are fourteen books in this series so clearly people like them. i found a lot of the Noir Similes a little tortured. "but kay isn't that the point--" yes but these annoyed me. also there's a rape joke i didn't enjoy on the fourth fucking page. i have very few hard outs in fiction and one of them is on-screen or on-page sexual assault or rape jokes in chapter one. i am slightly less likely to drop a book if it has rape jokes in chapters that are not the first but like. it’s still almost a flat line at 100%.

and the only one i got two-thirds of the way through, and which i partially liveblogged here,

Eric Kotani and John Maddox Robert's Between the Stars, 1988, the third in their Island Worlds series. it stands alone fairly well, which is impressive.

this book is good at differentiating a very large, very clannish cast, which is a hard thing to do in a political opera. people are often differentiated by little physical movement quirks, which a spy later uses to identify someone. it’s a lovely bit of business and definitely the authors’ strong points.

also props for two of the most capable people, an ill-liked matriarch/scientific genius and a femme fatale Russian, for being two of the most interesting characters with the most screen time, both on their own and in other character’s thoughts. unfortunately, with such a large cast and so many factions, the action is often split and meandering. racist in the very specific orientalist way cyberpunk eighties fiction often is, but uncommonly, they remembered Turkey existed and included in the orientalism?

severely suffered from a second act where it tripped over its own feet a lot instead of continued forward motion, quite honestly i got bored and tired of being hit over the head with various points. a very whedonesque quality of needing to comment on the political implication of something the instant after it happens.

this is not a subtle book, and it smacks less of an urgency to get a point across in as few words as possible and more an uncertainty in the authors of getting their point across at all. this is confusing to me bc this was their fourth book together and the third in this series. have some more confidence in your writing abilities. like, if you've already established your baddie as a fascist torturer who literally owns slaves and plans on taking over earth, you don't need to have him also say "Hitler was much-maligned" at a dinner party he's holding in a room full of hunting trophies where the only things on the table are red wine and whole game birds. you've more than established him as evil. the whole book is like this. it's exhausting.

not a book for me! many such cases!

-

watching

my brother was really singing the praises of vampire hunter d's animation and i was like, postapoc roaming vampire bounty hunter? say less! im already getting in!

i watched the 1980s version with some bemusement until he was like "why did you watch that and not the 2000 version." well that would have been so cool of you to be more specific, my boy!!! vampire hunter d (1985, dir. Toyoo Ashida) was still fun but clearly had way less of a budget than Vampire Hunter D Bloodlust (2000, dir. Yoshiaki Kawajiri)

i enjoyed bloodlust a little more bc it had a postapoc style i enjoyed a little more: showed me big manta rays that hide under the sand, big ruined radio dishes, and lots of beautifully ruined skyscrapers and fucked up highway overpasses. every time you see me post about a BIG!!! FUCKING!!! DISH!!! you should hear this schoolchildren "YAAAAAY!" sample from Jet Set Radio

-

playing

nothing much to report, a lot of grindy genshin impact shit as i try to clear all my map markers before the new nation drops at the end of the month.

-

making

the girls have three litter boxes available to them (laundry room/spare bathroom/utility closet), all in the correct and recommended locations, all with good sightlines and escape routes and all out of the main hustle and bustle of the apartment, all open top, all with the same kind of litter and the same kind of litter mat. they only use the one in my laundry room. since phil has had free roam of the house she has not used the one in the office bathroom. i asked my vet about this and sent her pictures to make sure i was doing everything right and the diagnosis was "yeah that's a little weird of them". can we spread the wear and tear out a little more, girls? so i don't have to deep clean the same litterbox every week?

[stickofcha0s]

‘Walk in’ Doug Remer x Reader

Doug Remer x afab reader

A/N: I don’t ever post stuff like this so idk if it’s even good. I wrote this over a few days and didn’t really do a read through so it might be messy If u want a more explicit pt2 lmk bc I have ideas.

word count: 2209

warnings: slight smut?? Reader Slapping Doug. Slight Perv Remer. I think that’s it. I’m not too sure how to tag these things yet so sorry if I’m missing something.

summary: Doug Remer walks in on you changing after a long day at work

~~~~~~~~~~

You had been roommates with Doug Remer and Joe Cooper for a while now. They were the only two idiot stupid enough to offer you the lowest rent in the city. With a price of course.

You had been hanging out with the boys after a game sitting on the porch out back drinking beer and talking about how you had just been unfairly evicted.

~~FLASHBACK~~

“I’ll let you stay for only 400 a month.” Remer had offered kicking his legs up in the Adirondack chair.

Your eyes widened. “Are you serious!?” You asked sitting up, clutching the neck of your beer tightly in your hand. 

He snorted taking a sip of his beer. “Yeah on one condition- if you let me and Coop see your tits” he smirked from behind the bottle.

You scowled at him. Remer had been trying to get you to flash them for a while now. He had some weird thing for boobs. He was a creep- not in a weird way though. You had basically grown up with him so you guys bickered about this stuff back and forth. And I mean, No one else was gonna offer you a deal like this, and it’s not like they’d be the only guys who’d have seen them.

You sighed standing up.

Coop looked up at you “he- what are you doing?” He asked leaning forward in his chair. 

“Getting my $400 a month for rent you shrugged. 

Remers mouth dropped open as you started to lift your shirt. 

“No fucking- ahw my god.” He groaned sinking back into his chair, his eyes fixated on you as you flashed them.

“Take a good look, this is the last time you’re gonna see them” you stated coldly.

Remer sat back in his chair sucking his teeth, his hazel eyes burning holes into your chest. 

You dropped your shirt. “Happy?” You asked annoyed.

Coop sat wide eyed looking between you and remer unable to speak. 

“Mi casa es su casa” Remer chuckled softly outstretching his arms. 

~~END FLASHBACK A YEAR LATER~|

You had just gotten home from work. You hated the long hours you were scheduled, you felt like you weren’t getting paid enough. 

The job caused your whole body to ache. Your body was tense and you had a bunch of anger pent up from dealing with stupid customers all day. 

You stripped yourself out of the faded black jeans replacing them with comfortable fleece shorts. You reached for your top pulling it over your head searching your drawers for some over sized t-shirt.

“Hey (y/n) I don’t see any pizza bites left in the-“ 

The door swung open as Remer entered the room not bothering to knock. 

“Doug!” You cried going to cover your torso with a sheet. You had a bra on but you still felt uncomfortable with him seeing you exposed like this. 

His eyes widened and he put his hands up in defense. “Woah woah calm down. I’ve seen chicks boobs before, no biggie” 

He stood there, door wide open behind him like this was normal. You rolled your eyes at him. “Doug, get out” you pointed towards the door. 

“Hey I’m just sayin’” he let his eyes wander down your body, drinking in the sight before him. You took a book from the night stand throwing it at him. He dodged it, a shit eating grin making its way on his face. 

“Fine whatever I’ll leave” he said with attitude. “I was just gonna ask if you bought pizza bites while at the store” 

You scoffed. “Remer it wasn’t my turn to go to the store today” 

Remer shut the door behind him mumbling something about what he was supposed to eat if no one went to the store. You sighed pulling a shirt over your head.

You headed for the kitchen a little while later deciding you would see if you could find anything to satisfy the pains in your stomach. Doug was on the couch watching tv. You were surprised he didn’t have cable porn pulled up, beating himself in the middle of the living room. 

You dug through the panty finding pasta and sauce. You put a pot on the stove to boil. 

“Can I have it?” A voice asked from behind you. 

Your turned around to see Doug leaning against the counter.

“Have what?” You asked annoyed stirring the water as an encouragement to boil faster. 

“You know.” He shrugged.

“No Doug. I don’t know actually” you turned away from him. You heard his feet against the tile as he moved closer.

He leaned against the counter next to you, stupid gap toothed smile plastered across his face.

“Your bra” he grinned. 

“Doug, shut up” you said giving him the shoulder. 

“Is that a no?” He asked. You turned from the pot, your mouth open. 

“Are you fucking serious?”  

“Well you’re wearing one of my teams jerseys it’s only fair I have something of yours” He protested.

You didn’t say anything turning away again. 

He leaned down whispering in your ear. “Please?”

You had no idea what he wanted it for but it was probably for some perverted personal fantasy of his. 

“It doesn’t have to be the one your wearing” he tried to compromise. 

“Remer, I’m gonna hit you if you don’t back up” you warned not making eye contact. 

You could feel the smirk playing on his lips without him uttering a word. 

“Cmon, I know you’ve got a ton of them that drawer” he purred 

“Doug.” You warned. 

“what about that green one…or the lacy black one that has the matching panti-“ 

Before you could think your hand had swept across his face slapping him.

“Son of a bitch- did you go through my drawer?!” You yelled demanding an answer. You felt bad but from after the long day you’d had you were bound to have had snapped at some point. 

He was holding his jaw looking offended.  “Ouch” he mumbled rubbing his jaw. “Y’know you should join the team, you’ve got quite the arm.” 

You were infuriated with him. Of course he would go through your drawers like that. Him and Coop had quite the reputation or stealing panties from house parties they went to, keeping them like trophies. Almost never were they actually taken from off the girls themselves. Why would you an an exception.

“Fuck you, fucking freak” you murmured from under your breath. 

“Look, I’m sorry” Remer came up behind you, his chest grazing against your shoulders and back. 

“The drawer was halfway open and I just couldn’t help myself” he mumbled. 

The pot was boiling as you added the noodles to the mix not saying anything to the curly haired boy.

He hugged you from behind leaning down to whisper in your ear. “ ‘m really sorry. I promise it was a one time thing” he mumbled into your ear. 

You huffed and rolled your eyes.

“Want some spaghetti?” You asked him disregarding his apologies. 

“Please..” he mumbled again hands tightening around your waist.

Your heart fluttered in your chest at his touch. You were used to Remer being touchy like this, the occasional hug, kiss on the forehead, or cuddling on the couch to watch a movie. And that accidental drunk hookup a few years ago..

“You smell good..” he said into your shoulder. 

You scoffed. “I smell like work”

He stayed there with his head forced into the crook of your neck. 

“I’m sorry for asking that, I just let my imagination get the best of me..” 

You hummed in response still a little annoyed but you felt bad for hitting him, you had reacted without thinking 

“Lemme make it up to you” he said muffled by your skin. “Stop the stove and I’ll give you a massage, I can feel how tense you are.” 

You sighed. Maybe he was right. You didn’t want to be a dick to coop when he came home too. Plus with his huge hands, he gave the best massages. You turned the dial, moving the pot off the stove. 

“Go lay on my bed, you can take your shirt off, I’ll wait” he told you.

You obeyed his orders going to his room and pressing your bare chest to the sheets. While you waited you looked around. His room was messy. It was always cluttered. Knickknacks covered the shelves and there was dirty laundry on the floor. 

Remer came in a few moments later with a bottle of lotion.

“MmKay just relax” he said squirting some into his hands.

You pressed your face into the mattress as his hands got to work. It felt so good. Remer was so good at finding all the tense knots and working them out. 

“Mmm” you hummed into the mattress.

“Feel good?” He asked his hands gliding over your skin.

You nodded and he chuckled in response.

You let out a soft moan as he worked out a knot in your upper shoulder.

“Doug, how’re you so good at this” you sighed into the sheets. 

You could feel his hot breath on your ear as he leaned down. “I’m just good with my hands” you could sense his grin even though you couldn’t see his face. 

“Is that so?” 

“Mhm, but you wanna know what I’m even better with?” He asked his hot breath in your ear.

“What’s that” you turned your head to the side to look at him. There was that gapped tooth grin. 

“My mouth” 

You grinned a little shaking your head. 

“Wanna see?” 

Your body stiffened a little as your heart started to pick up its pace. Last time something intimate happened like this between you two you were both shit faced drunk. Without alcohol in your system your heart beat rapidly against your rib cage like it was trying to break out.

He lowered his lips to your shoulder and started leaving hot open mouthed kisses on your skin. 

“Doug” you started to protest.

He ghosted his lips against your shoulder until he reached your neck, kissing at the sensitive skin. 

You shivered at the feeling, nipples starting to harden.

“Doesn’t it feel good?” He hummed against your skin. 

You didn’t respond, trying to focus on something other than his mouth exploring your body.

He took that as an invitation to keep going. Open mouthed kisses soon turned into sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin.  You lifted your neck and in the process causing your sensitive buds to rub against the rough sheets. 

You let out a soft whine trying to muffle it with the mattress.

He tsked “don’t be embarrassed now” 

His attacks against your neck became harsher and before you knew it you were turning around to face him.

He looked down at your bare chest “well hello there” he smirked. 

“Doug..” you weren’t sure if it was a rebuff or a plead for more.

He gave you a goofy grin before wrapping his arms around your lower back pulling you closer as he attacked your neck again.

You tilted your head back giving him more room to work with. He trailed hot kisses down your collar bones, occasionally lingering to suck deep purple marks into your skin, until he reached your chest. When he got to your breasts he took a nipple in his mouth sucking softly. 

Your hand shot up to tangle itself in his mess of curls as he started to roll the bud between his tongue.

“Doug..” your breath hitched as you tugged softly. 

He hummed against the skin, the feeling going straight to your core. 

You used your hand in his hair to guide his mouth around your breast. The coolness of his glasses pressing into your chest as you pushed his face further in. 

“God..” you breathed out softly. 

He let his teeth graze over or causing you to whine. 

He lifted his head coming up to meet your eyes.

“I told you I’m good with my mouth” he said leaning in closer.

“Y-you’re not bad” you responded trying to blow the situation off. 

“I could show you more if you want, that was just the beginning.” he offered a smirk on his face. 

“Yeah?” 

“Mhm” he nodded his curls bouncing as he glanced down at your lips. 

You leaned forward going to meet his. 

“You couldn’t begin to fathom the kind of pleasure my mouth brings” You could feel his hot Breath on your face as he spoke, his eyes half lidded.

“Who’s making pasta?” A voice called from the other room.

You jumped back from Remer, and rushed to grab your shirt. 

“Shit Coops home” you stood up shrugging your shirt on, completely forgetting about your bra lying on Remers messy floor. 

“Awe c’monnnn” Remer groaned throwing his head back. 

“Remer I’m not letting Joe catch us, the last thing I wanna do is make him uncomfortable.” you said heading for the door.

“God well leaving me like this is uncomfortable..Fucking cockblock” he muttered under his breath. 

He watched you leave the room as he cursed to himself tucking himself in his waistband going out to join you and Coop. 

He took a mental note to flush the toilet the next time Joe was taking a shower. 

——————

Pt. 2 here

[lizzieislife94x]

Mile High Club (w.m)

WandaG!PxFem Reader

Just a little update to keep the stories up to date I only started writing like 5 days ago but for some reason I enjoy writing g!p don't know why but I hope you enjoy if you don't only way to fix it is by messaging me YOUR requests what you would like to read but until then y'all have to deal with what my imagination creates lmaooo. Anyway enjoy 😉 (sorry just keeping what was already wrote bc im copy and pasting)

Y/ns POV: 

"Uggggh how long is left until we arrive wanda I feel like we've been up here for 8 hours" I groan at the annoyed looking witch across from me, she just gives me a death stare "y/n shut up I don't want to be here anymore than you do I'd rather be doing literally anything else than this we've only been in the air 40 minutes and I swear if you don't shut up I will throw you out this jet I'm not dealing with your whining for the next 7 hours, go entertain yourself or sleep I don't really care just do it away from me" she spits out and I feel a mixture of emotions the strangest is turned on when she yells at me or gives me a death stare it makes me feel some kinda way I'm not gonna lie I purposely annoy her at times to get a reaction because its such a turn on, we've both been on the avengers for like 3 years now and we never really liked each other I don't dislike her but we never really got to know each other to like each other so it kind of went from there I think that's why the team sent just me and her because they can't bare to be in the same room as us when we bicker never mind trapped in metal bird for 7 hours, I shake my head getting out of my thoughts and let out a frustrated sigh "fine you stay up here I'm going to go lay down I don't wanna be here either I'd rather be at a bar having fun drinking and potentially hooking up with someone than behere I don't know why fury put us on this stupid mission" I say with attitude as I storm away not giving her time to reply.

3 hours later

I continued to toss and turn like I have been the last few hours I can't seem to fall asleep then an idea pops into my head I bite my lip and slide my hand down my sweat pants and panties letting out a low moan at the contact I slowly start to rub circles on my clit teasing myself as the thought of Wanda pops into my head I can't lie but every time I need to get off I can't help but think of her nothing else seems to work I continue to tease my clit before sliding my hand out and taking off my sweats and panties mhh much better I slide my hand back down to my pussy and close my eyes continuing the teasing of my clit fuck this feels good, I slide my 2 fingers into my already dripping cunt and begin to thrust slowly letting out moans getting lost in the pleasure "oh fuck Wanda yessss right there don't stop" I moan completely forgetting where I am I don't notice due to the amazing feeling I'm bring myself "fuck fuck I'm so bad I need you to put me in my place daddy"

I instantly freeze when I hear a snicker I know to well and I don't dare open my eyes fuck fuck fuck "eyes on me y/n" she states as her accent creeps through this isn't happening I open my eyes and look up at a smug Wanda and my eyes instantly catch her huge bulge in her sweats holy fuck, I pull my fingers out and close my legs and mumble breathless "what are you doing here a little privacy please" she smirks and bites her lip "I wouldn't have bothered until I heard you moan my name that caught my interest so I came over and heard you moaning about how much of a bad girl you where and you wanted me to put you in place so here I am princess spread those legs for daddy let me see that pretty pussy" I instantly open my legs for her fuck why do I feel the need to do as she says, she walks over to the bed biting her lip as she removes her clothes and the minute she removes her boxers my mouth falls open she's huge Holy shit "suck" she commands and I comply crawling over to her and biting lip, I take hold of her hard member and she let's out a moan, fuck that was hot I lower my head and tease her tip with my tounge wanting more of those sweet sweet moans and it works I slide more of her into my mouth trying to get all of her in, I start gagging and feel tears run down my cheek as she pulls out of me

"oh y/n well work on that don't worry princess the key is to breath through your nose but we'll get there" I blush as she pushes me back to lay down and climbs between my legs she wastes no time in attacking my clit and the sounds that leave my mouth I don't recognise no girl has made me feel like this let alone in the space of 30 seconds I continue to moan getting louder as she slides 3 fingers into my waiting cunt fuckkkkk "shit daddy don't stop I'm so fucking close" I beg and feel her smirk into my cunt after a few more thrusts of her magical fingers I cum with a scream of her name "fuck y/n that was so fucking sexy, I can't wait to fuck that attitude out of you do you have any condoms" she breaths out clearly turned on "fuck I don't but I could always take plan B tomorrow or you could pull o.." I'm interrupted by Wanda shh'ing me while teasing my entrance with her soild member "oh no babygirl I won't be pulling out I want to fill your needy little cunt, we can get plan B" I moan and nod fuck that was sexy my thoughts are wiped when she bottoms out inside my tight cunt as a silent scream falls from my mouth hers to by the looks of it she stays still for a second looking into my eyes and I nod letting her know its ok to move, I instinctively wrap my legs around her pulling her closer and crash my lips against hers in a bruising kiss I don't fight her I let her invade my mouth with her tounge both of us moaning into each others mouths as her thrusts get faster and harder hitting my gspot over and over I break away from the kiss and moan "I'm.. fuck I'm gonna cum" she smirks and switches positions putting my legs over her shoulders so she can get deeper and holy shit I've never felt anything like this "don't stop daddy" I moan into her ear as she pounds my needy pussy till I cum all over her cock as my eyes roll and a string of words leave my mouth she slows her thrusts to help me through my orgasm "such a good girl you done so well for me baby, but we're not done" she smirks biting her lip pulling out of me and I whimper feeling so empty without her inside me, she gets up and helps me up walking into the main sitting area and pushes me against the wall spreading my legs "fuck Wanda I need you" and before I know it she's deep inside my tight cunt again groaning into my ear "fuck princess just like that you take my cock so well" I close my eyes moaning at the immense pleasure building up "fuck daddy I want you to fill me please" she starts pounding into me tightening her grip on my waist I know she's close I feel her twitching inside me so I start meeting her thrusts both of us chasing our highs "I'm gonna cum y/n" I moan feeling her thrusting harder and faster than before "me too daddy cum inside me "I moan out loud and I think that sent her over the edge because I feel her shooting her load deep inside me which sends me over the edge.

Fuck that was amazing after we both get ready I look over at her and smirk "I've wanted to do that for so long" she glares at me "I'm not even sorry why do you think I push your buttons so much because your so fucking sexy when you look at me like you're going to kill me" she just giggles and gives me a genuine smile I've never seen. I smirk and bite my lip "guess I can say I'm part of the milehigh club" she laughs and nods in agreement fuck her laugh is actually beautiful 

AN: just to keep the book up to date if you want anything specific let me know lovely people, all feedback welcome if you enjoy It if you don't I don't mind haha word count for this chapter is close to 1.6k 

[tinybed]

i rly wanted to vent about this because its getting on my nerves -_- tumblr is where i vent bc there’s no character limit. Ok so i just find it rly annoying how nothing is ever good enough for anyone online. thats a generality ofc and it’s been like this forever but i cant take it anymore! someone posts a poem that they made from the heart and everyone jumps on them saying i hate it Booooo!!! this is a bad poem and you wrote it too simply so its obvious you’re just trying to go viral!!

or someone else makes a tweet that sounds kind of flowery and “Cringey” and everyone’s like “wow you’re so pretentious” and “You rly thought you said something” and then you read the person’s replies and they admit it was actually just a real thought they had and posted offhandedly… not a big deal.

a youtuber who’s been documenting her journey from homelessness to having an apartment while maintaining sobriety introduces their bf who they admit their sponsor knows about, and says they’ve taken it rly slow, and then all of the comments are freaking tf out, mothering her, telling her either what she “needs to do” instead or accusing her of “lying” and denouncing her completely…

an old guy makes a video about something where he has to read from the script he wrote and top comment is “next time put the teleprompter 6 inches up so it at least looks like you’re speaking to us!”

those are just some examples but its sooooo fucking tiring seeing ppls cynicism, criticism, bad faith takes, entitlement, dogpiling, etc.

of course this is something i could avoid by simply putting my phone down forever. but im not going to do that LOL im just noticing it almost seems like its getting worse. i just dont like it and i wish ppl would give other ppl more grace…. we’re lucky when ppl share with us. we are lucky that ppl take the time to make art and “content” thats meant to connect to us and it bothers me a lot how unwilling people are to ignore something we dont like personally. not every poem can appeal to you. not every post can appeal to you. sometimes an old man isnt thinking about looking a camera in the eye to make you feel like he’s talking directly to you? so yeah i guess thats what i wanted to say :-/ if this seems like im freaking out about nothing then thats fine idc

[spandexual]

Shippy ask: who are your greatest hero/villain rivals to ever do it in a sentai

Insane (eh, only mildly) question: what's your most common "you sort of put my kink in this show but you did it WRONG so I'm just annoyed you came so close now"

Clothing advice: any advice for coordinating stuff in the bodysuit region to look like streetwear because I've seen a few people on the wild in them looking great lately and I would enjoy secretly feeling like a starship captain

I mean have you seen Gekiranger. Have You Guys Seen Gekiranger. I know you specifically have but You, Reading This, Have You Seen Gekiranger? Tiger vs. Lion, literally feral untamed wild child raised by pandas in the forest vs elegant arrogant ambitious little princeling with a simpering girlknight at his side, purity and fury vs corruption and bitterness... You Guys... Jan and Leo (and I'm not calling him fucking Rio he's a LION the same way no one calls Mele the CHAMELEON "Mere" despite that being what dumbshit John Toei wrote in the mook) are the absolute peak of sentai hero/villain ships. Actually I would say the peak of toku hero/villain ships entirely. gaijug is just below and then like thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis far underneath those two is like, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh actually idk, whatever KR hero/villain ship ppl have convinced themselves is peak ig. KR doesn't do very good hero/villain come to think of it. I guess it's because of all the main/secondary like how every sentai has its red/sixth (and usually red/blue too but I feel like that's not actually as common as ppl make it out to be, I think a lot of it is people just wanting an episode 1 ship)

Honestly, if my kinks show up in shows at all, they're often done perfectly bc people don't think they're sexual so don't have to pretend they're not (eg. The Stig being essentially a moto-drone like WOW) or the entire premise of the show is based around it (... like Super Sentai and Kamen Rider, even though the suits have not been as sexy as I'd like lately) lmao. I did get a bit annoyed at The Orville for giving Isaac (very sexy faceless kind of evil robot) a human appearance and emotions at first but the whole arc was his sexy milf doctor girlfriend going "ehhh actually I like you more when you're a sexy faceless kind of evil robot" which is incredibly based (as is the fact his sexy milf doctor girlfriend is The Sexy Outfit Wearer of the show a la Deanna Troi despite being a canon mother of a teenage boy and visibly middle-aged). ummm but I think all shows should have more crossdressing that isn't for jokes and more femdom or at least FLRs that aren't "bitch wife controls wimp man" coz like ew

Bodysuits are pretty easy to style casually! If you're talking more leotard style that are like a top with a crotch and no legs then a really sexy thing to do is wear low waisted bottoms so the skin on your hips is showing. Kind of like an advanced whaletail lol. Looks best if the bottoms are big baggy jeans/trackies or really slutty tiny pleated/otherwise voluminous miniskirts, I'd stay away from anything tight, small top big bottom energy yk. If you're talking about the full-body tight catsuit type, I think they're always gonna look a bit costumey, but you can still style them. Wearing a cropped/waist-length non-tight jacket over the top always looks super cool, look at 80s Rogue from X-Men! A floor-length coat would look cool too, rather than balancing the silhouette like with the baggy jeans or puffy jacket, it reduces the sex-costumey look by de-dramatising the silhouette by giving it a solid background. There's a lot of ways to play around! Bodysuits are essentially an inner layer the way tshirts and leggings used to be lol so you can honestly do whatever but I think if you want to be stylish you can't go wrong with the balancing act.

[will80sbyers]

That anon is right you guys literally make everything about byler or mike and will. Other romantic ships? Exist to parallel byler. Other characters? Exist to prop mike and will. I get that you guys want to find something to talk about byler but its literally gotten to the point i cannot read any posts tagged with lumax, max or lucas etc anymore bc they are all about byler. And it wouldnt be such a problem if it was like 2 or 3 times happened but it is so common in the byler fandom

It's not my fault that they do parallel byler it's just REALITY, it's what the writers put intentionally in the show coming up from scratch with new characters but taking the old ones as a base for a parallel and switching things up like Jonathan being a supporting brother against billy being the abusive one or robin and Vickie doing exactly what Mike and Will were doing

THE WRITERS DID THAT.

It's what the freaking writers wrote and put in the show and they implemented the visual and writing parallels again and again.

A character can be important on his own and also parallel another one that is the freaking first one that has a connection to the main villain!

You people that complain without understanding that when we point out parallels it's something that WE byler fandom did not write but we picked up from the WRITERS are annoying as fuck

Make your own post about the other characters, I have made plenty of posts about them singularly without byler being involved or just block byler in the tags and manage your own space on Tumblr because that's how Tumblr works!

ALSO my post was not about byler it was about Will, Max and Vecna and how both Max and Will have suicidal thoughts in the narrative

[mattslolita]

omgg is kiwi ur real name? its SO cute!!

i finally did the replacement phone thingy. but they said they would put a hold of £799 on my dads card. which i THOUGHT meant theyd take his details and charge 799 only if we didnt send the damaged phone back within 10 days. HOWEVERRR it TOOK THE 799 AND WONT GIV IT BAK TILL WE SEND IT LMFAO! hes annoyed but yk whatever not me paying unfortunatley 😭

and school was crazy. my tutor told me i couldnt wear trianers BUT i wore the same ones last year an they look like school shoes believe it or not! so shes on my ass already 😜

then my bf came in late (idiottt) and now cuz the government FUCKING IDIOTS made a new law that if u come after 9:00 (late basically) or u dont turn up with no "valid" reason to schl this will count as a unauthorised absence. if u get 10 of those in 10 weeks you will be charged £180 PER FUCKING PARENT!!! so hes already got 1 😒

thennn it was pouring today and we had an assembly first thing at 8:30 and we had to "line up" (fuck off w ur line up we r not 6) in the rain an our head of year was yellin at us sayin we were wasting HER time. like BITCH LET US GO IN! NO TIME WASTED! my bf tried to giv me his coat cuz i dint bring one and this teacher was like "her fault she dint bring one, go bak to ur line" and my bf said no and stil gave it. SHE GAVE HIM A WARNING? meaning if he gets another 2 he gets a 1 hour detention? like what? calm tf down!

we stayed 2 hours w our tutor after assembly doing bloody quizzes like huh? we r gonna do our gcse's this year an they want us to tell em who fucking wrote "oliver twist". like what? i cant read i literally hav no fucking clue who wrote it. also never heard of the book! LMAO.

then in science we had a new seating plan 😤 an she put me next to this weird boy who keeps putting heart eyes on my tiktoks? i said i aint sittin there an cuz shes nice she let me sit next to my bf 🤗we had to walk round the room and fill in some sheet of the digestive system which was boringgggg!

english also new seating plan but i like the teacher so it was alright!

geography i sit next to some boy who doesnt shut the fuck up. hes asking me all this shit like where im from nd what languages i speak? literally english mate like do i look like im ABLE to learn another language? no!

at lunch we sat in some teachers classroom jus me an my bf and just spoke abt everything and anythinggg. my teacher said she liked my rings my bf got me🥹(cant wear jewlry to schl tho?? how does it affect my learning??????)

also more explaining to new teachers as to y i use coloured paper. like hav they NEVER seen anyone else with dyslexia?

okay imma be straight up, yo school is WILDING cs all those rules are dumb & weird. PAYING A FINE BC UR LATE TO SCHOOL ??? and i thought american schools were ass😭😭😭 its so funny to me how ur bf keeps getting in trouble tho LMFAOO like free him guys he ain't do nun to nobody !

also kiwi is NOT my real name, but its really cute & random and my bff peaches told me if i was a fruit i'd be a kiwi, so here we are 💌🥝⭐

[morganinez]

tldr at the end i think this is pretty annoying to read idk its in red

normally i wouldn't send this kinda stuff but honestly the ever changing list of reasons you dislike/like having me interact is making it really hard to decide whether to send one of those character interaction things .

because if you're fine with me then it's good to send it because you want interactions and i like writing but if you don't like me then if i send it you'd just be irritated and i wouldn't be able to tell

because you obvs haven't confirmed or denied such things considering the list was made by my brain which i wrote down to try and rationalise

not trying to bring down your mood or anything just giving context for the question im about to ask

is it like weird or annoying or clingy if someone keeps like sending you stuff about morgan or just like interacting with you

i dont want to do that if it is you get what i mean

because it feels like you don't like me but at the same time it could be anxiety speaking and i don't want to like put assumptions on you

but at the same time i don't want to assume that you're fine with me and then have it turn out i've been annoying all this while

idk why i'm typing this because even if you did dislike me / my characters people don't usually just say that kinda stuff to people's faces

this is like the tenth? time i've revised this ask it should not be this long (very sorry for that /gen )

are there like interactions that annoy you so like i can avoid that i guess /genq

please like feel free to ignore this i mean something this long in your inbox is probably also pretty annoying i guess it just felt like i should clarify things but at the same time what if this makes me annoying

i should probably stop like revising this ask every time i do it i feel the need to clarify more like at first it really really formal but it felt too not genuine but if i send like this what if you can tell who i am and then think i'm making things up for pity points or something and what if you didn't dislike me but now you do because of this and its getting really long i am so sorry

TLDR: are there like any forms of interaction that annoy you like ,,. someone interacting with your blog too much or something because i'd like to avoid annoying you and a bunch of miscellaneous stuff that i don't dare to delete because what if you want the context to this question or something but

yeah please feel free to delete this or something i don't know i've been pondering over sending something like this for days who knows how long which may make me seem weird i don't know i just need to know if i should or shouldn't interact i guess ? sorry

i feel like this is like about some asks i haven’t replied to (or won’t reply to) so here are the reasons why i don’t

i have no clue how to reply (this is like … the major reason and the biggest reason)

some people have sent asks like their character & mine have interacted before… when they haven’t… so i dont reply to that bc… how will i when i dont know where their relationship stands ifykwim?

asks that just says “hi” or something along the lines of that .. IM SORRY I JUST ?? idk i don’t vibe w it bc i love interactions w flavour you know?

connected to number 1; i have no clue how to reply because i don’t get it (and maybe the reason why i don’t get it because the ask is like the one in number 2 or i’m just slow as fuck)

i guess that’s all ?? should’ve clarified that i’m more comfortable doing novella with people i know / morgan has an actual relationship with — if you want that, interact with her posts (then again, it didn’t mean i will reply because of the reasons above)

i do try to formulate replies but in the end it’s just turns into an ugly writing that i give up .

[starlit-hopes-and-dreams]

Writerly Question Tag

I was tagged here by @i-can-even-burn-salad, and I'm actually going to do it :D thanks!

Open Tag for anyone who would like to jump on this. Under the cut bc its loooonng. There's a template at the bottom.

About You

When did you start writing?

Sometime in 2019/2020, before covid started. Late start, I know lol

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

No, not really. I am a fantasy romance girlie (gender neutral) through and through. It's really a rarity for me to branch outside the fantasy genre at all.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

I've not been writing long enough nor do I have a wide enough reader base to be compared to anyone lol. Emulate though 🤔 I don't know. I do know that certain writers leave an impression on me. Or I'll admire their style or how they did some bit of worldbuilding or torture. But when I'm writing, I'm not consciously trying to be like them or to even reference the stuff I was admiring to try and emulate it. That being said... I swear, C.L. Wilson, I was not trying to emulate you. I couldn't even approach the depth and mastery of your epic 5 book fantasy (this one). But I also can't deny the similarities that turned up in my book despite me not having read that series for multiple years before writing it 😂

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)?

My recliner in the living room or my (home) office. My office is the cooler option lol. I have a floor to ceiling built in bookshelf that my desk faces and a pretty ice blue rainbow backlit keyboard. However, I am having issues with both spaces currently. Nobody will leave me alone in the living room. And I'm in my office 8.5 hrs every goddamned day for work and really don't want to continue being in my office when I'm done. At least for a while anyway. It's smth I need to figure out so I can start writing again XD

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Uhhh. I wish I knew. Usually stuff will just hit me randomly and I have no control over when or where or why :')

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Most likely? In that it's just more work for me to write an environment that isn't close to the one I live in. But, it's fantasy, so. 🤷‍♀️

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Outcast/loneliness, finding a place to belong/found family, being enough, finding love without stipulations/compromises ... *deadpan* I'm so super surprised. Oh, and the suffering. We gotta have some of that :)

Your Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

Right now, it's probably Carr from Hidden Depths. Carr is so much fun to write. There is smth very freeing about writing a char that really truly doesn't give a shit :)

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?

I could be friends with Alaia, but I'd never be able to keep up with her. Carr would probably have no patience for me lol. Kadin would amuse and annoy me and I could probably only tolerate him in small doses. Darian would intimidate me. Maybe Resh? Provided I could learn their version of sign language so I could talk with him.

Which characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Any of the bad guys XD

Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters?

Uh, they come up with themselves 😅

Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters?

Most of them are neurodivergent as fuck, even the ones I wrote thinking I was NT XD

How do you picture your characters?

I don't? 😅 *cough* aphantasia Although, some of those artbreeder pics helped, along with the commission :D

Your Writing

What’s your reason for writing?

Because I can! Because I started and I don't want to stop! (current dry spell notwithstanding XD) Because only in writing will I probably ever get the things I want 100%

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Literally any comment. Any indication you read and enjoyed what I wrote. However that may come across, I treasure it :D

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work?

*side eyes this question* People would think of me? Why? I am not the story o.o

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Look, I am terrible at identifying my own strengths XD Maybe characterization? Someone told me I did a good job with that once upon a time <3

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Frequently lol. I need to write more 😂 See above. Apparently I cheated and borrowed from this question. I've also been told I do a good job with descriptions, like in a worldbuilding way. Which is fascinating to me, bc I can't see shit in my mind. I just make shit up and hope it works 😅

How do you feel about your own writing?

Depends on when I'm reading it lol. Honestly though, I can tell I've improved a lot from when I first started a few years ago. Mostly I'm proud of it when I'm not being embarrassed by the thought of someone reading some of the more... interesting... things I've written 😅.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Probably. Only through writing can I fully characterize and flesh out the daydreams. Plus, it's a freaking treat to sit down with your own book and read it and enjoy it.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy?

I'm very influenced. I want to make my friends happy! But I also will write what I enjoy in the parameters of my chosen genre. I just might incorporate things I otherwise might not of thought of. And if it ends up making me uncomfortable down the road, I can always remove it.

About You

When did you start writing?

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)?

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Your Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?

Which characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters?

Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters?

How do you picture your characters?

Your Writing

What’s your reason for writing?

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work?

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

How do you feel about your own writing?

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy?

[raysletters]

2023 Character Wrapped

Rules: share your top 9 characters of 2023

tagged by the lovely @suseagull04 (like, so long ago, but i had forgotten to do it so here i am)

1. Alex Claremont-Díaz (RWRB)

i wish i could explain to you the deep connection i have to this fictional man. he is me and i am him. he probably has been my favorite character since i first found him on 2021 (which is the longest hyperfixation ive ever had, funnily enough) and has actually shaped me to be more confident in myself and all that mushy stuff, so yeah, im just missing a henry kinnie that wants to put up with this mess.

2. Percy Jackson (Riordanverse)

i binge read pjo and hoo these last months, and the way ive become attached to this kid is something else. i want to protect him from anything.

3. Nico di Angelo (Riordanverse)

like with percy, i became attached to him from the moment he showed up, and i would protect him with my life even from rick riordan. he cant do no wrong ever.

4. Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor (RWRB)

henry has specially gained a piece in my heart lately, but i have to be honest, when i first read about him, i thought nothing of him more than the perfect companion and love interest in alex's story. i have to say that getting a glance to his mind through both the bonus chapter and really fucking good fics gave me the insight i needed to comprehend him: his actions, his motivations, and everything in between that made him who he is and made me realize how many things we have in common and how many things i could learn from him, which is always a beautiful experience

5. June Claremont-Díaz (RWRB)

theres nothing i wouldnt do for her. even though i absolutely HATE how i wrote the fic that has june's pov, im still in the process of learning about her and comprehending her more. still, she reminds me so much of my own sister, even though i should kin her more than alex because of the whole sapphic latina journalist who loves her sibling very much, even when they annoy the shit out of you, but alas, im a younger sister and june has so much vibes of my own sister except with my tastes, so yeah, nothing i wouldnt do for her

6. Iris West-Allen (The Flash TV)

in case you didnt know this about me, i had a not-so-recent hyperfixation on the flash (and it can absolutely be seen in my sky high au), and she was half the reason of it. i wish i could put into words how much i fucking love her in every sense of the word. like, i'm in love with her but i also want her to be happy and protected at all costs and i would do anything for her to actually get those things. she can also step on me and i would thank her, but that is unrelated

7. Annabeth Chase (Riordanverse)

what you dont get is that for her i would become like a rabid feral gremlin or maybe that dog that takes a sword in its mouth and starts swinging carelessly. thats how ready i am to protect her from absolutely everything, even spiders, no matter how fucking scared i am of them

8. Imogen Heaney (Heartstopper TV)

yes, i am absolutely biased because the actress also has t1d and my hc is that now imogen also has t1d, but also because i, too, affirmed with my whole chest how i was an ally and totally straight and then slowly realized i was sapphic bc of one cute girl in my friend group that called me out on my bs 💀

9. Barry Allen (The Flash TV)

yes, we dont acknowledge that other version by that other actor. yes, he's last because i had a love-hate relationship with the way he was written. but season 8!barry became one of my favorite versions of him, and i absolutely thank grant (the actor) for the way he made me love the character once again

i missed so many characters that i love but just not like i love these ones. the only one who could easily take barry's place on the list would be nick nelson my absolute beloved, but since flash tv ended this year, it had me in my feelings and i couldn't not put him there, so yeah

DISCLAIMER: i am at the moment reading trials of apollo (im just like 1/4 of the first book) and if somebody spoils me anything i WILL become a rabid feral gremlin, this is your only warning, thank you very much.

anyway, you can consider this an open tag and do this and tag me in it bc i always love to read about yalls favorite stuff. still, no pressure, but im still tagging beautiful ppl so i can read about your favorite characters @anincompletelist @inexplicablymine @read-and-write- @sherryvalli @14carrotghoul @formorewishes

[danmei-confessions]

personal problem that's danmei related? but have you ever shipped the rarepair inside of a popular ot3? because at first its like "yay so much content for what would otherwise be a rarepair bc ot3" and then its a slow realization that no one actually likes your ship and if you dare to say you like them together, people say weirdly passive aggressive shit? like when you ship the popular parts of the ot3, people tell you "oh yeah that ship is great!" but when you ship the least popular one, people start telling you "they're a set, don't separate them" or "i made your request better by making it ot3 instead" and its just.... really exhausting. im being purposefully vague bc i don't actually wanna call anyone out or anything but its happened to me with two different popular danmei ot3s and its so exhausting. when people say "yeah everyone who ships (my otp) also ships the ot3 bc that otp clearly could never exist separately" it starts to make me hate the ot3 a little bit. i liked the ot3s, i did, but constantly having the more popular branches of it shoved down my throat and these lowkey invalidating comments from people. i had someone tell me when they read my otp fic that "i just imagined it was pre-ot3 and i was able to like it :D" which is... fuck you? if i wanted to write the ot3, i woulda wrote the ot3? i have written the ot3?! if i just wrote otp that was intentional???? and when i suggest that any branch of the ot3 might be platonic in certain aus, i get told a lot of "you have no understanding of their characters" which is a lot considering NONE of these ships are canon so wtf?

its just really fucking exhausting. if i had a request for the danmei, specifically the ot3 sections, please stop being dicks to the "least popular combination" of your ot3. it's rude. it's shitty. and i'm tired of it.

I've literally never had a fandom do this to me before, every other time i've shipped a less popular branch of an ot3 people just respected my ship and didnt try to force the ot3 down my throat. and frankly, it wouldn't be as annoying if the other branches of the ot3 also got the same treatment. but the popular branches are allowed to exist separate from the ot3 and no one is shitty to them about it. "oh you dont like the ot3? thats oki, have a nice day!" but for the least popular branch "DO NOT SEPARATE, WHATS WRONG WITH YOU"

its so exhausting and so weirdly passive aggressive. people who are seemingly nice and will treat other ships with the utmost respect just turn on you and act like you're being unreasonable for sometimes wanting to make content for your otp without it being ot3

.

[vermillioncrown]

Fuck you and your writing. What the hell. How tbe fuck did you make a tasteful brothel scene, how the hell did you manage to do all this shit. This chapter was fuckin heart wrenching. I wanted to see WWX get fucked up and then he did and it wasn't satisfying, but it was good writing and i liked it regardless. God. How the hell did you do this shit. What the fuck.

:^) thank you, i hit my target :^) :^)

=

because i really, really cared about getting the exact flavor of this chapter right, so much so that it took over a year.

the brothel scene is so important in what it means in the fic, which is more than showing that zyx fucked. or that zyx fucked a girl for real. or to do some questioning of sexuality.

(which i think i had to go through the five stages of grief when someone excitedly talked about it like having sex means someone is no longer aspec like... every day i am confronted by the fact we all coexist with vastly different perspectives on reality, and these realities are all true to some extent, sigh)

it's also not about being edgy and buying hookers, getting drunk, and all that.

so without using prostitution, nightlife, and sex as a prop and just being real with it, i hope that it doesn't come off goofy, edgy, or objectifying. the perils of trying to convey complicated feelings without therapy speak in-fic, and being really honest in someone's motivations and reactions (bc, unavoidably, it IS an SI).

the brothel scene and its whole fallout was so important, in fact, that i rewrote the entire order of the chapter. originally, the scenes were supposed to be in chronological order. logical, but it just felt like a boring recounting of events. sure, the events are fresh and we wanna see what zyx-mess happens next, but it's just a bunch of 'and then, and then, and then'. works for interlude chapters (ch8, ch15), but this really isn't one.

seguing, i learned a lot from how i wrote bil. dbd will never be as lean as bil, but it reminded me that when i drafted the fic, i focused on certain developments and ideas for a reason. also, since it's a chapter that doesn't involve too many canon characters, which let's be real that's usually the reason we stick around these kinds of fics, it needed to have purpose and be clear about what feeling it's trying to convey

even at the cost of simplicity in order of events

it would have been so difficult to keep the type of upset that zyx is feeling through a chapter that spans months, develops two interpersonal relationships, has a big oopsie, in chronological order without a too-angsty tone. too many periodic reminders would feel jarring and obtrusive, and exaggerate it. and that's also just not how zyx (i) deal with upsets, thank you adhd

and like, doing that for 10k+. (eternally i thank my readers for their patience and willingness to read so much bc people don't read fanfic for deep analysis and extra hw...) that's too much.

=

the second most important scene is the wwx duel, you got it. (i'd lump the lxc duel there, too bc those two are kinda related)

(sometimes i worry i made wwx too annoying. but then i talk myself back--it's always perspective. wwx isn't doing more than he already did in canon. we just have someone who can articulate how they feel about what he does, and he's not the main narrator of dbd.)

we get to a very clear demonstration of zyx as a character--it's more or less "i have no mouth and i must scream". here's your chance to be violent. you know you want it. do it. act out, make yourself heard.

zyx doesn't do it.

and you know what? i will be honest, truly honest here: i am sorry if you can instantly clock why zyx is the way they are, because for real 'recognition of the self in the other'.

lack of satisfaction--when you know what you wanted all along was for something to have never have happened at all, would punishment (displaced punishment) satisfy you? would it fix you? sometimes it helps, just for a moment. but i've answered this question enough times that i know i'd rather have never had to ask that question in the first place.

=

tldr: it's because it's a chapter about emotional honesty, and i as the author was really fucking honest and tried my fucking best to convey that.