#they dont appear as their characters much to my irritation

[prozac-shaped-urn]

iiiiiii had a midday nap and this is what happened inside my brain during that time so maybe sit down and have a stiff drink at the ready cuz this shit is wild

AIGHT *clap* SO

when i dream it's usually not super vivid and i usually don't remember them but if it's a midday nap dream, IT'S BOTH

people: myself, j smith cameron (as herself), jean smart (as herself), and @marlboro-cowgirl (also as herself lmao and hereafter abbreviated as MC)

setting: what i'm assuming is jsc or jean's house i have no fucking idea but it's a really super nice house somewhere in cali, a bowling alley (this shit is wild i'm telling you), and a liquor store

dream starts out with me hanging out with jsc and jean in a very nice house. we're chillin out, doing nothing, listening to music and reading books. it's bright outside and i walk to a window to look at the ocean. jean asks me if i want something to drink and i'm like "nah i'm good, but i'm kinda hungry" (great manners katy) and jean's like "okay yeah! i can heat something up" and then jsc pipes up "i could use a drink though" and i giggle like roman roy for whatever fucking reason and jean goes "all i have is diet coke and water" and jsc shrugs "either is fine, just mix it with vodka"

ALKDSLKDFJSLKDF AJDL WHAT

so jean mixes jsc a vodka diet coke (ew) and hands it over while i'm staring at them like i'm watching some kind of live-action disney film. like my eyes are full of wonder and curiosity. oh, they're also in sunbathing attire. like floppy hats and sunglasses and sarong wraps n shit (idfk stay with me) so naturally i'm looking at all the places i shouldn't be bc ~in my dreams i can do what i fucking want~ fuck off.

jsc takes a sip of the vodka diet coke and winces like it's disgusting bc guess what IT IS jsc you fuckin weirdo. and then jean's like "you said mix it with vodka" and jsc's like "yeah but i didn't realize it would be this gross" and jean's like "we can go to the store but i have a bowling competition in an hour" and jsc is like "okay just get something else on your way back" and jean's like "alright fine whatever"

(side note: jean is an avid bowler so this part makes sense to me now that i'm thinking about it.)

that part of the dream ends and we do a DISSOLVE TO: transition like a goddamn film to the bowling alley and i'm there with jean and @marlboro-cowgirl (i have no idea babes my brain is fucked up as you are FULLY aware of) and jean is bowling her ass off and MC is smoking her vape while i'm eating a burger and fries and dr pepper. jean gets done with her streak--bowls a turkey--and sits down to join us. MC is like "great streak! you're super skilled at that." and jean's like "thanks :) you shouldnt be smoking." and MC goes "yeah… but it's better than other shit i could be doing. like heroin. or growing a baby." and jean doesnt know how to respond so she just nods her head with raised eyebrows like *yep these kids are fucked upppp* and then she's like "should we go get j something to drink? it's getting late." and i nod and MC is like "yeah let's fucken roll" LKDALDKJFAL DKFJADL so we leave and go to a liquor store

the three of us peruse the aisles and grab whatever the hell alcohol we want. i get smirnoff green apple and goldschläger, MC gets tennessee whiskey and cranberry juice and some high quality brand of rum i cannot remember the name of, and jean grabs a bottle of chinaco tequila a six pack of regular coke and a six pack of sprite. we go to the checkout stand and pay for our drinks and head out to the car (we're in MC's challenger for some reason--probably the turbo orgasm on wheels engine. also no idea how we got to your car since jean and i supposedly left in hers DREAMS ARE WEIRD OKAY) and head back to the nice house

we get to the nice house and unload our shit on the kitchen counter and jsc smiles and nods her head in approval at the selection before her and pours a hefty shot of goldschläger and downs that bitch like a P R O no grimace to be seen anywhere on her face and jean stares at her like she's just eaten a cockroach. jsc shrugs like *what?! it's good!* and jean just shakes her head in bewilderment. i'm grinning like the village idiot at this whole thing and MC is gnawing on her vape and looking at me looking at them with the most exasperatedly amused expression.

so MC takes her booze and juice and leaves the three of us to our own devices (thanks a lot babes lmao) and i'm in this house with jsc and jean and they're trying to outdo each other by taking shots of tequila, vodka and goldschläger and not making faces. like…… a LOT of shots. jsc gets giggly drunk and jean has to sit down on the kitchen floor bc she's spinning so much. i take a few shots in the there too (vodka or goldschläger only bitch) so i'm also kinda giggly drunk and i go to put the vodka in the freezer to keep it cold and jsc stops me with a hand on my arm and chastises me like my fucking mother "NEVER put alcohol in the freezer." and i'm like "uhhhh why? it's where i store my vodka." and she goes "it worsens the taste. keep it room temperature or in a wine cooler." and i'm like *mkay so #1 that was hot. #2 yes ma'am i will keep my vodka on my counter. #3 i'm too drunk to try and hide any smirks or wandering gaze* so i just straight up stare at her cleavage and nod like a mute idiot.

i go sit back down in the chair i was in earlier and start listening to music and jsc and jean do whatever in the kitchen and then i woke up.

moral of the dream: this grit fic has permeated my subconscious, jsc posting that "party at gerri's!" tweet yesterday evidently did something to my brain, and i should never put alcohol in the freezer.

[mx-darling-1]

Hello, I can ask for a request.. I could make a fanfic where all the Welcome characters appear in the real world, mainly in the reader's house. Now they and the reader have to share a house and try to find some way to send them back to their world... I think it would be cool for a story

(Bonus: maybe while changing channels on TV, they come across another puppet show)

That could be really interesting! I'll see what I can do! Tw: Wally has seperation anxiety and a minor panic attack

Wally Darling x GN reader Real World Jealousy

Its been a couple weeks since the characters from your favorite childhood tv show suddenly appeared in your house. Youve slowly been getting used to it, although its been hard hiding them from the public eye. Well, Barnaby is 8ft tall after all. Its much easier to sneak Wally around, so you often spend more time with him and Julie. Although, and you would never tell the others this, you definitely preferred spending time with Wally. He was always your favorite character and you guessed that just bled into adult hood.

Over these past couple of weeks Wally had begun to cling to you. As soon as he appeared in your home it was like he already knew you. And, little did you know that he did know you, he's watched you since you were little, and you were always his favorite watcher. The longer he got to be by your side, the more he craved your attention. It was the most important thing to him now. And he almost felt guilty, all his friends were trying to figure out how to get home, but he never wanted to leave. He would even get irritated at his friends whenever they got to close to you or took to much of your attention, overall he seemed very snappy to everyone but you. You didnt seem to notice at all, until the day you were just flipping through some TV channels.

You didnt think it was a big deal, flipping some channels just to find something to watch. Wally was getting some beauty sleep and you were on the couch with Julie and Barnaby. They usually enjoyed more childish shows so you were scrolling through one of the kids channels when you came across Sesame Street, without really thinking about it, you put it on the TV to watch. You notice the tone in the room shift and suddenly a door from somewhere behind you slams open hitting a wall. Your head slams back as you look for whoever slammed the door, only to see Wally staring at the screen in absolute disdain, and you couldn't get over how terrifying it was. Wally never stopped smiling, but it was obvious that he was pissed as he walked over to the couch.

Wally just grabbed the remote, turning the TV off before turning back to look at you. "Sesame Street? Are you trying to replace us neighbor? Why would you want to replace us? We are supposed to be your favorite! I'M supposed to be your favorite!!" His voice was becoming more frantic, and you didnt even notice all the other puppets leaving the room as Wallys actions became desperate, walking closer and closer to you. He grabbed your hands, staring eye level with you although you were seated on the couch and he was standing.

"Wally...hey now..." He became even more desperate, pleading with you. "Please [Name], please dont leave us. Please dont abandon us. Dont abandon me..please please plea-" As tears streamed down your face you pulled Wally closer to you, causing him to go limp in your arms. You couldnt help this overwhelming sadness that took over you as you became desperate to help him, your favorite Wally Darling. "Hey, Wally. I'm never going to leave you, I will never replace you. For you and your neighbors, Welcome home will always be my favorite. No silly puppet show is going to change that. And you will always be my favorite, my Darling. So please Wally, never think like that again." Gently you grabbed Wallys face and placed kisses across it. You could feel Wally melting in your arms as he smiled up at you. "You really mean it neighbor?" You nod softly, smiling at him as you see his lovesick relieved expression. "Of course, and I'll always mean it Wally, even when you guys find your way back home."

Im not too sure how I feel about this one, but hopefully it lived up to expectations! Its a bit short since i wrote more but tumbler deleted it😭

[opiopal]

•All I wanted was bread•

2

(This is the second part of my TSL fic, I apologize if this part seems a little rushed? I was attempting to get to the brothers as soon as possible.

The characters in this part are Mc(you), the crows, a very mean Lucifer, and mammon(who appears for a split second). Simeon, luke, are mentions but do not appear.)

(I apologize again if this sucks, I haven’t actually written in a long time)((pt 3 will be out as soon as I can write it))

•

Being alone was hard.

You were used to having someone to talk to, make jokes with, someone to teach, someone to help you cook, someone that was always waiting for you after you got off work.

But now it was just you, in the same house, with the same dirty windows, the same crummy writing desk now with no one to sit in it, the same worn down floors, and the same familiar beds but with no familiar boys sleeping in them.

But, you were yourself, you were human, you adjusted quickly.

Soon you fell into your own rhythm after about two months had gone by.

•

You wake up nearly the moment the sun shines through the window, throwing off the covers and quickly putting on your day clothes, you don’t waste a second hanging around in the bedroom, knowing that if you dwell for to long you’ll only find yourself getting sad at the lack of company. So you quickly push through the bedroom door, letting it shut behind you as you grab a small basket of seed and the pitcher of water.

The moment you step outside you are greeted by the caw of multiple crows sitting on your roof and hopping around on the ground,

“Good morning to you all,”

You quickly scatter seed across the ground, letting them flock to the area as you begin to water your garden. It had actually begun flourishing now that the crows leave it alone(for the most part), and now its something to be decently proud of.

Once you’re finished up, you head inside quickly, you need to get going soon for work so something quick will have to do for breakfast.

But, once you open the cupboard you remember you had finished off the bread yesterday. You rummage through the kitchen for a good while and find only oats are left. Taxes were due yesterday so you were low on money as well…

No matter! You tell yourself, you can always just buy some more food after work today! Since you get paid daily and not weekly.

So you ignore the growing pit in your stomach and head off for work after securing your shoes to your feet.

•

Sweeping and dusting felt like a much bigger task when hungry, but you’ve worked plenty of times while hungry before, so it’s nothing new to you. But it was still annoying to have to occasionally hear that grumble from your stomach, interrupting your thoughts. As the hours slowly ticked by you could feel yourself growing more grumpy and irritated, but you kept yourself polite when you talked with the other cleaners occasionally and quietly.

At some point during the afternoon, you were going back over the downstair floors, sweeping dirt from visitors walking in right back out the door. Then you heard the voice of your employer, for a moment you didn’t think anything of it until you processed that it sounded like she was scolding someone.

Your never ending curiosity got the better of you and you make your way over to a study, peaking inside you see her practically shouting at an elderly cleaner to clean the windows faster.

“We will be having guests in this room and they don’t need to see a hag such as yourself! It isn’t that hard to reach the top of the window- stop being lazy!”

You watch her kick the stool in which the cleaner was standing on, causing her to stumble and struggle to keep her balance. You feel anger bubbling up in your chest and you feel your face getting warm. This combined with your hunger just made you even angrier.

Before you could even process what you are doing, your feet are moving on their own and your arms swing the door open hard enough for it to bounce off the wall loudly.

“DONT KICK HER YOU WENCH!”

Silence fills the room as both women look at you baffled, just as you process what you had done, you watch as the lady of the house’s face turn a bright red as she shrieks.

“EXCUSE YOU!?”

•

•

It had hardly even been high noon and you were already heading back home. Because of course you had been fired immediately after your outburst.

But it’s not like you could help it- you were hungry and awfully close to that old woman, and seeing her get kicked around by someone young enough to be be her granddaughter was just- infuriating! And even now you could still feel your rage bubbling up inside your chest, though a lot of it was now replaced by shame and anxiety. Why did you have to open your mouth? Why couldn’t you have just walked away? Why did you have to be some sort of hero? But what would have happened if you did walk off? Would the have woman fallen and broken something? Would the lady of the house left her there on the ground?! WHAT IF-

Your thoughts are interrupted by someone stepping Infront of you and loudly clearing their throat.

“Ahem.”

You look up and are met with one of the messengers from the palace,

“Oh- I’m sorry I didn’t noti-“

“Of course you didn’t.”

They say roughly before shoving an envelope into your hands.

“I- thank yo-… ok, yeah, walking away is fine to. I guess.”

You watch them as they walk off, brushing off their hands onto their pant leg. You look down at the envelope and realize it’s from Simeon! Excitement bubbles up inside you, but only for a moment as you remember your situation once again.

•

Once you made it back home, the crows surrounding the small building caw in confusion as to why you’re home so early in the day. You plop down on the ground, resting your forehead in the palm of your free hand. You hear the little bodies of your friends land on the ground as they hop around you. One even worms his way into your lap to look up at your face.

Though you tried for a moment, you can’t help but let out a small laugh as you fix your posture, gently petting the crow in your lap as you do so.

“I got fired today. And of course I didn’t get paid for the hours I already worked.”

You sigh.

“I suppose it’s my own fault. I let my emotions get the best of me and I didn’t control myself.”

You hear a collection of loud caw’s from the small murder around you.

“What? It’s not like I didn’t know how to control myself, I was being impulsive-“

Another collective caw.

You sigh, realizing for a moment that you are indeed talking to birds and responding as if they can understand you. When in reality your brain is telling you that they’re just hungry. After a moment longer of sitting outside you turn your attention back to the unopened envelope in your hand.

You inhale slowly before ripping it open, tossing the envelope to the side as you read through the letter.

“Dear Mc,

I am writing in favor of an extremely excited Luke, who has been excelling in his lessons at an extraordinary rate, and has recently begun learning about the extended history of the kingdom. Which he says is a bit complicated, but he’s having fun anyways.”

You feel a smile creep up onto your face, it always made you feel better to know that Luke was living the best possible life the world could provide.

“Now I myself am doing well, the palace is still just as gorgeous and we are both well fed and warm every single night.”

Your stomach lets out an envious grumble.

“But what I wish to know is how you are doing. You are always on my mind and I can’t help but worry for your wellbeing. Though I trust you are managing just fine without me.”

You feel your face scrunch up slightly as you cringe.

By the time you finish reading you feel many emotions in your gut. You’re proud of Luke and very happy, though Simeon only talked of himself once you know he’s also doing just fine, which relieves you. But how are you supposed to tell him what’s happened?

You sigh as you set the letter down, rubbing your eyes and sitting motionless for what feels like ages.

Then a clink is heard.

You turn your head and notice one of the crows nudging a single coin towards you. Carefully you take it and smile.

“Ah, now what’s this? A gift? My my, how generous of you my friend.”

The crow puffs its little chest out pridefully. Though it wasn’t a lot you still appreciated the thought.

You turn your attention back to the letter for a moment before sighing, and heading back inside to try and figure out what in the world to say to Simeon.

•

•

•

Two weeks have passed at this point.

For some reason, it was suddenly impossible to find a job, no one wanted to pay you to do anything at all. So you haven’t had any form of income.

The pit in your stomach was a constant reminder of your situation, you could have a whole conversation with the growls that came from your gut daily. Sure your garden kept you alive these past weeks, but you needed something more, some actual protein, anything at all.

Occasionally you had the intrusive thought of just.. taking one of the crows inside with you.. and-

Of course you couldn’t even finish the thought without feeling overwhelming guilt. Because how in the world could you bring yourself to do that to something that trusts you so much!?

However. You didn’t ignore all of your intrusive thoughts.

One day you were walking through the market, hoping and praying that anyone at all you exchange food for the small amount of money you managed to hold onto. Then you spot a stall set up right outside the bakery.

Not only was it littered with sweets, but also different types of bread. Your eyes land specifically on an awfully large loaf of sourdough. You approach the stall, looking at the selection.

No ones paying attention, the baker isn’t even tending to the stall… it would be quite the shame if someone had taken a loaf. Especially since it was just so enticing. No. No. You couldn’t imagine anyone doing such a thing.

But no one was around, no one was even looking in your general direction, it was just one loaf, just one, there’s plenty..

just take it.

your mind screamed at you.

It’s- it’s fine, you’re hungry. Just take the bread Mc. Take it. Your window is closing. Take the opportunity. Take the bread. Take it. TAKE IT. JUST TAKE IT THE DAMN BREAD.

Before you knew it you quickly snatched the loaf and began walking away.

Your mind immediately started racing. Theres no way no one saw that, right? How was is that easy? Well, maybe you just got luck-

“HALT! THIEF!”

Well shit.

Without thinking twice you immediately break into a sprint. Shoving past bystanders and even a few shocked folks who knew you.

No no no no crap- dammit. Well you’re already running you can’t stop now!

You duck and doge past anything that had gotten in your way, barrels, carts, horses, cattle, it didn’t matter, your adrenaline was control your body as you hugged the loaf of bread to your chest as if it was the only thing that mattered in the world, because at this moment, it did.

Though you were only one person, and guards quickly blocked you off and seized you.

Now you might have been let go, maybe they would have even let you explain yourself and pitied you. But the moment you saw the smallest amount of exposed skin on one of the men grabbing ahold of you… with your adrenaline still coursing through your veins, your jaw flies open as you bite down on his arm. Causing a loud yelp to be heard from the guard.

..which also caused you to not be let go. And caused you to not have a second to explain yourself. And instead you found yourself being dragged by the arms by two guards.

Your knees scrapped against the ground below due to the fact that the guards didn’t stop for a moment to even let you stand. The cloth of your clothing thankfully acted as a sort of shield, but yet not enough of one as you could still feel the familiar sting of skin being broken and torn.

You could hardly process where in the world you were being taken, all you could focus on is the burning by in your knees and the occasional distant caw. Why were you wearing caws? You then saw a crow fly past, surely that didn’t mean anything at all. Right?

Then, you saw the palace growing closer.

No.. there’s no way they’re taking you to the LORDS because some bread?! Sure you bit a guard but there’s no way this warrants being taken to the LORDS!! OVER BREAD!

Despite your disbelief and silent reasoning, you’re dragged past the gates and into a grand court yard filled with hedges being tended to and trimmed by servants. And of course a stone pavement in which your knees could scrape further against.

You could hardly even take in the towering sight of the palace before being brought inside the magnificent piece of architecture, and into a throne room.

The throne room was massive, of course the first thing you noticed after being forcefully knelt down on the marble floor, was the seven thrones, elevated to loom over everyone and anyone placed infront of them. And unfortunately, that was you at the moment. The walls were covered with beautiful tapestries and suits of armor-which you couldn’t tell if they were occupied or not- lined the pillars in the room.

As the guard to your left begins to yammer on about how you were a “violent” and “masterful” thief, you scan the thrones. Each of the lords sat in their own respective spots. Of course the oldest being in the center throne. Though the spot to the right of the oldest was empty.. one of the lords werent present at the moment. But of course that was not your biggest concern.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts as you watch the Lord of Corruption rise out of his throne, walking forwards and down the steps to be on ground level. Your eyes quickly scan him up and down, taking in the detail of his black armored clothes with blue detailing, the shape of his jaw and nose, and his black greying hair which framed his face like some sort of painting.

His eyebrows were raised in amusement as he stared down at your knelt form. You feel the grip on your arms tighten as if to keep him safe from you, as if that would make the guards story seem more believable.

“And this… peasant.. is a dangerous and violent thief that I’ve never heard a single word about?”

He sounded entertained, as if he thought this whole ordeal was just as ridiculous as you did. He stops right in front of you. Staring down before a low chuckle leaves his throat.

“Ah yes. What a terrifying creature.”

You hear a small collection of giggles and chuckles throughout the room, laughing with him and at you.

You attempt to glance around the room again, maybe to gain a better sense of your surroundings or to even calm yourself, but then the lord slowly knelt down in front of you, grabbing your chin to force your head forwards as he stares. Entirely to close to your face.

“Hm, so you two bring me a little human thief and claim it’s dangerous. How ridiculous.-“

Without a second thought you pull your head back and spit at him.

Maybe that’s an understatement.

On him.

No no. In.

In his face.

You spit in the face of the Lord of Corruption. Causing gasps of shock to be heard throughout the throne room as he immediately stands and backs away in disgust, embarrassment, and anger. Your face turns to horrified as you realize what you have just done. A maid rushes up and quickly goes to clean his face, only for him to snatch the small rag from them and to wipe his cheek clean.

“Why you insignificant little..”

He approaches again, this time more aggressively as he tosses the rag onto the floor. His hand shoots out and roughly grabs a fist full of your hair, forcing you to stand as your own hands shoot up to grip his wrist, a whine escapes your throat as you try to gain balance to keep the sudden pain at bay.

“I’ll have your head for that you-“

His words are cut short as the sound of wings and caws fill the room. Above on the rafters sat multiple crows, cawing angrily and loudly. Their voices echo throughout the room as if in a noisy protest of the scene unfolding below them. The both of you stare upwards, his grip your hair faltering just for a moment before tightening again. He turns his head to look back at you with an accusatory expression on his face, nearly immediately piecing together that all the ruckus from the birds above just has to be your fault.

But then the caws suddenly die down as doors are swung open, ricocheting off the wall with a loud boom as an out of breath voice full of panic shouts into the room.

“WAIT.”



[evilcokito]

So, in the Bleach Au, how the hell Yuu arrived to the Soul Society?

They were walking back from getting the groceries and took a wrong turn? Maybe they were following a cat?

THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!!! THIS ASK!!! THE TIME COME, THE BEGINNING- Ok dear, im going to TRY WRITING THIS. English is not my first language... so sorry if someting dont work!

The most wonderful things happen at first sight, but sometimes we give them another explanation. We adapt them to our reality. Could it be that those will-o'-the-wisps, those days when the clouds suddenly disperse or those shadows that appear in the corners of the rooms, are really what we see?

Yuu also wonders about that, all the time. But decides not to talk about those people walking aimlessly down the street with a broken chain on their chest. Or those ones who apparently belong to a sect, with strange traditional black clothes. Just ignores them, but for some reason Yuu does not go unnoticed in front of them.

So if you ask Yuu ¿ What is real? Will probably answer "as far as I can explain reality." But there are things that are impossible to talk, so prefers to keep quiet. Yuu was always an expert in running away from all this too, pretending that they are not there.

It is a pity that in life you cannot run away forever, not even in death, you human liar.

A "cat"... would be adapting it to our reality, for example. Cats are not 2 meters tall, have a mask similar to a skull or give off an intense blue fire. Honestly, Yuu had been running away from these beings for a long time. Its like a prey being cornered now. Although must admit that was surprised when a friend, Ortho, appeared with a completely white suit and a gun. Very annoying as well, because it is "much more to keep silent."

It is a tragedy that for a shy and silent human, life ends like this.

Where life ends is an answer you can give right now, Yuu, with that katana crossing your chest. It is desperate to see your clothes dyed an intense crimson, vision becomes cloudy and limbs fall asleep. Your ears buzz until they drown. And your cheek feel a softness similar to that of an animal's fur, pure black like the night. It's comforting, it feels like floating. You feel a little bad for the heartbreaking screams of your friend and his companion, who arrived too late to the scene.

With the few seconds left of your vision, notice that you are in the arms of that being with black plumage, with a picturesque bird mask and bright yellow eyes.

"Am I not kind??~~".

In your life, never heard such an irritating voice. Any glorious moment where you felt the peace of eternal sleep take over your body vanished. Where everything was darkness, it turned into light... but only for an instant.

Now your body also wore that dark traditional outfit. And nothing looks like "home" here.

"... How am I going to explain that I joined that cult?"

It's a soft, dark robe with wide sleeves and pants. Surprisingly comfortable. You examined every part of it on your body and felt on your waist... that katana that had pierced your chest.

Ran away scared, for about 30 minutes, where everything around looked like you had traveled back in time. Everything was old, including people's clothes. To top it off, everyone looked at you like a weirdo, until fell at the feet of... a member of that sect, blue hair and makeup on his eye and cheek.

"Calm down, calm down... I also got really scared during my Soul Society entrance exam."

For the first time in your life, it occurred to you to speak with the reality that each of your senses captured until now. And that is going to be a mistake from now on.

If got this far, CONGRATULATIONS, you survived my attempt at writing. Now, some clarifications.

Some explanations of all this:

⭐ I don't have a Yuu or Mc that is an OC to insert. I prefer it to be like in the game, where everyone can insert themselves... or create a character for this.

⭐ This Au has its main line, where there will be a lot of fighting, punching, kicking, blood, death, drama, fighting again... but nobody prevents us from making this into something romantic...(ship you Oc or Mc with the shinigamis AND MY LIFE IS YOURRRRRSSSS, will help you if you need too).

⭐ Yuu/Mc doesn't have a specific gender or age. If I ever write or draw something in "romantic" style, keep this in mind.

⭐ Is very difficult for me to do something romantic unless someone ask me, because I prefer fights to the death.

⭐ You can work with anything, and change anything in all this. Well no, the "villain" Aizen are Silver, Rook and Idia. Sorry Silver, Rook and Idia kissers.

⭐ Im trying to make this the best possible, but can fail.

⭐ Shinigamis die. The game is you all avoiding me to kill my fav character. Sam. And sending him to hell like Ukitake because i like drama that much.

⭐ the adobe was a joke.... heh.

[httpsv33]

Banana Fish characters with a s/o whose cat never leaves their side.

Okay so this is the first request I received! I really enjoyed writing it since I have cats myself! For that wonderful person who asked for it, I hope it lives up to your expectations!

The requested was the following:

'Okay so can I request something with Ash, Eiji, Shorter, and Yut Lung with a partner that owns a pet cat and when they visit the reader the cat goes to them and just wants to be with them gn reader please if you dont mind'

Warnings: very mild cursing (once), gn reader, fluff, cats, physical affection.

Ash Lynx:

“Just admit it, the cat likes me better,” said the blond with a playful curve on his mouth. You crossed your arms before your chest and refused to say a word, slightly irritated by the constant teasing you had to face every time the boy visited your apartment. “C’mon, don’t be upset” he chuckled, a teasing tone still stuck to his words. “I’m not upset, take the cat so he can live with you since he loves you more than me, who, by the way, feeds him every day”.

To be honest, you weren’t that bothered by the cat’s cuddly manner towards your partner, in fact, you found it kind of sweet, but being a bit dramatic was a common dynamic between you and Ash.

“Come here, dumbass�� the boy approached you with the cat between his arms and rested his forehead against your temple “You’re so jealous” he smirked before placing a soft peck on your cheek. You couldn’t conceal the grin that eventually appeared on your face.

“Shut up, you’re insufferable” you muttered sheepishly as you wrapped your arms around him and he placed pecks on the top of your head. Somehow, every time he came over it always ended up with the three of you tangled in your bed enjoying a cuddling session.

Eiji Okumura:

“And… this is it” you said as you opened the door to your apartment “It’s small but I guess it’s enough”. The black-haired boy entered your living room with an amused look on his face “I love the decorations! It feels so cozy in here” Eiji turned to you with a huge grin but he was interrupted by something rubbing against his lower leg.

“Oh, yeah, I hope you’re not allergic to cats-” you chuckled “She seems to like you”. Eiji’s face lit up with joy at the sight of the orange cat “What’s your name, little one?” he lowered his hand to caress her head, your heart melted as your cat leaned in his touch. “Her name’s Pumpkin” you crouched next to them. “Awww, hi Pumpkin, you’re so cute!” the boy spoke with a baby voice. You were enjoying the warmth of the situation until the cat avoided your touch to jump into your boyfriend’s arms “You traitor!”. Eiji giggled as he hugged the cat “Now she’s mine” he walked away with her teasingly as you followed them around trying to get him to give you back your cat.

Shorter Wong:

“Hey baby” the boy smiled widely as you opened the door for him “Hi love” you grinned inching closer to him to give him a warm hug “Oh I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to my best friend Patches, right buddy?” he joked as the cat immediately poked his head from between your ankles to meet him.

“I hate you both” You stared at him unamused and turned around to keep on watching your show “No baby come back, it was a joke, I’m so sorry” he laughed picking up the cat and following you, letting himself fall on the sofa next to you, however, you refused to acknowledge his presence. “Baby, come on” he pouted as he rested his chin on your shoulder, giving you puppy eyes.

“You are a pain in the ass, Shorter Wong” You finally turned to look at him and rested your head against his chest, taking place next to your cat “It’s ridiculous that I have to compete for your attention with my cat AND that I have to compete for my cat's attention with you!”.

Shorter snorted at your comment and he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead “I love you so much” he muttered lovingly against your skin.

Yut Lung:

“What the hell is going on here-” you had just come back from doing groceries, your boyfriend was still sleeping peacefully when you left, but as soon as you entered the house you were met with a rather bizarre scene. The long-haired man, who, incidentally, hated how clingy your cat was with him because ‘his clothes were too expensive to be covered with animal hair’, was calmly sitting on the sofa with your cat purring in his lap as he caressed the animal’s head tenderly.

“Well, good morning to you too,” he said rather playfully “We’re watching the Kardashians, fancy joining?”. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the offer. “I thought you hated my cat, dear” You left the shopping bags next to the door, the situation was too good to let it slide, you’d put the groceries in their place later. “I didn’t hate her, it’s just that there wasn’t enough communication between us” You arched an eyebrow in response to his comment “But we have a healthy relationship now, right honey?” the cat just purred in response, enjoying his soft pets. You giggled as you sat next to him leaning to his side to watch the show with your two companions, “I guess I’ll have to live with the fact that she loves you more than me if your relationship is so ‘healthy’, then”. “Indeed” the boy smiled warmly as he leaned his head on top of yours.

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Earlier today I thought about sending you this ask, but I thought "the focus here is to talk about HH, not HB" but then, you answered an ask about Stolas, so I came to ask my "ask" (in quotes because it's not an ask, but rather a design comparison because I like it, yayyy)

Stolas is an owl right? So if you'll excuse me, here are two owls, my oc's, one from "Star Fox" the other from "Swat Kats" and now that I stop to think, I should have taken Stellar as a reference because she is a female, but honestly I don't even know if she's an owl so screw it, let's get to the comparison:

(sorry for the background in the first photo, I was too lazy to take a photo of just her) can you see how chubby they are? and Stolas is so thin that it hurts? I don't understand that, Viv at least knows how to make thin people with big waists, but she didn't even do that here, and let's face it, owls are chubby and don't have a damn neck (similar to a human's when humanized) and Stolas does!! It's the same thing that irritates me about Vox (the TV, I don't know if that's how his name is spelled) he has a TV head!! Why does he have a neck?!?!

and other!!! you can see the difference between Yanter (first photo) and Carlie (second photo) but you can see that they are both owls, but remember what I said about Stellar? So, you can't tell the difference between she and Stolas, I'm not saying in terms of appearance, I'm saying in terms of species, every species has something similar, but if Stellar is really an owl, what is the similarity between her and Stolas, which is not the same similarity between another character (a blue one, I think she's Stellar's cousin) WHO IS NOT EVEN AN OWL!! BECAUSE IF YOU DO THIS, VIV, YOU DO YOUR AUDIENCE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT STELLAR IS!!! SHE IS AN OWL? A PEACOCK?? TELL ME!

... sorry.. I got stressed.. I guess.. that's all I have to say... sorry, I just wanted to say that because I feel a little need to show that my designs are better than Viv's (even if that's not very difficult) sorry for the inconvenience, bye bye

SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO RESPOND TO THIS!!! These designs are awesome!! I love seeing bird characters so much; actually gives me a few design ideas lmao

I have no idea what bird Stella is either but if I had to design her I’d probably make her an albino cockatiel. I actually have a LOT of ideas on how to fix Stella but just for a quick birdie ref

Aint they cute? :3

I do plan on eventually redesigning Stolas and getting rid of that god awful neck. I don’t understand why Vivzie is allergic to fat people, I don’t think she’s realised the joy of having fat/chubby characters or even muscular ones. Husk, Velvette, Charlie, and Vox are all designs that I personally think are amplified when made chubbier or muscular and when I see them in the show I literally do a double take like *little skinny man runs past my screen* who is that did you guys see that

For the neck on Vox though, I don’t get… how?? His neck works in the show?? I know for my version of Vox his neck moves kind of like this

But uh.

Yeah none of that here. I guess you could say it’s attached at the bottom, because it is!

but also poses like this dont make sense, his neck is show behind his head but its not.

Idk, It’s a small nitpick but it’s something that bothers me too. I’m still working on some of the things for Vox like his joints and such, but Vivzie seems to put in substantially less effort than anything either of us have done

Anyway keep up the designs they look really good!!!

[autumnpens]

What if Childe constantly pesters (light-heartedly) to his S/O that doesn't fight as much as him to spar with him a lot, they eventually agree to do so and things were going well! ..Until somehow they managed to beat him. I dont think I've seen any imagines of Childe losing against a spar//fight to reader so this might be neat!

✧ "can i spar you?" ✧

Characters ◦ Childe/Tartaglia

Warnings ◦ none, whiney Tart

Thoughts ◦ this was super fun to write! thank you anon for the ask! <3

Words ◦ 628

“babe, can we spar?”

“come on, let’s spar already!”

“fight me?”

this was the question you had been pestered with ever since you had gotten close to the redhead at your side, Childe. though aggravating, it made sense, given he was a Harbinger of the Fatui. still, your boyfriend’s tenacity was.. irritating, to put it bluntly.

“милая, please?” upon hearing the plead in his voice, along with a nickname of his native tongue, your resolve had broken.

“fine, one fight. that’s all you get, though.”

“deal.”

cut to the Golden House, his preferred sparring grounds. you adjusted your gloves, and the blade of your polearm glinted in the dim light, reflecting your surroundings.

“don’t go easy on me, ‘kay?” Childe joked, readying his bow.

“yeah-huh.” you scoffed, circling your partner.

Childe had a knack for speed, but his battle prowess was something you had only witnessed from afar. he darted from place to place, keeping considerable distance between the two of you. it was disorienting, to say the least. following the familiar figure was something you had grown accustomed to in crowded areas like the Harbor, but this was much easier, despite the use of his vision creating distractions. the most you could do was dodge his arrows, hurling through the air in deadly arcs. you were used to projectiles, but this was something far more intensive than hillichurl arrows. they were your only frame of reference for this type of thing, as dating a Harbinger practically granted you immunity from the Fatui across Teyvat.

you knew Childe was purposefully missing you, but the arrows came too close to your skin for comfort. gripping your staff, you rushed forward, aiming to sweep his feet. he was far too agile for your out-of-practice attempts, though, and launched himself behind you, grabbing your shoulder and knocking your weapon out of your hand, sending it scathing across the floor in a singular motion. you heard the water of his blades condense into form behind you, and the knowledge of the water at your neck sent a shiver down your spine. you let out a heavy sigh. “fine.”

as soon as the word left your mouth, you were pulled into the air bridal-style, a pout appearing on your boyfriend’s face. “that wasn’t hard, though,” he whined, strolling across the room to retrieve your staff.

“yeah, well, it’s not like I have much to train against with you around.” Childe’s brows furrowed at the comment.

“that’s a good thing, right?”

“yes, fish boy, that’s good.” you smiled, looping an arm around his neck. your free hand outstretched toward your polearm. as you came closer, the weapon started to rattle, and in a swift movement you swung yourself around onto the ground, staff in hand and stunned boyfriend on your back. flipping Childe over, you slammed your weight down, restraining him with your blade at his neck. “do I win now?”

“I..” he laughed, glancing at his lack of non-lethal options, “yeah.” you smiled, stepping off his ribcage and pulling him up. “how the hell did you get your polearm? it was at least ten meters from you when you did that flip thing. you don’t have a vision you didn’t tell me about, did you?”

“no, no I don’t have a vision— I do, however, have alchemy. they’re only testers so far, but I’ve figured out how to implant magnets into these gloves that correspond to a magnetic plate around the pole of my staff! you like it?”

“babe, you’re insane. I love it!” Childe exclaimed, pulling you into a hug that lifted you off the ground. “archons, we’re gonna be unstoppable... you’re so smart you give me goosebumps— you know that, right?” you laughed, placing a quick kiss on his lips.

“absolutely.”

[mayisgoingnuts]

FHDHD like how you appear if i say roy/silly

you insane mf you dont know what your getting into

CENSORING THE NAMES IMMA CALL KEVS KEVS, STREBS STREBS AND CANDYBA/TS AS CANDIBATZ

CANDIBATZ FUCKS THE WHOLE FUCKING CHARACTERS UP IN MY OPINION IN THE POPULAR STUFF. THEY MAKE KEV LIKE A EASILY FLUSTERED MF AND STREBS INTO A EITHER SOFT UWU BOY WHO NEEDS PROTECTION OR A FLIRTY MF.

IT IRRITATES ME SO FUCKING MUCH. Kevs can be awkward we seen it but hes not a complete mess and hes not that much of a god damn loser and strebs isnt just a flirty or uwu soft boy or a god damn angst hog. hes more than that yeah he lost his arm and is fucking traumatized but you see in strebs rehearsal hes sassy and hes a gremlin.

No one ever fucking draws or writes them as more chaotic or like fucking irriated with eachother they arent all cupcakes and rainbows or just pure darkness and sadness! Its not just fucking that!! They probably get on eachother nerves, strebs probably be a lil ass to kevs sometimes. YOU KNOW WHY I LOVE STALECANDY? ITS BASICALLY MY CANDIBATZ. LEGIT ITS EXACTLY HOW I WANT CANDIBATZ TO BE.

ill admit its understandable a few people dislike candibatz since it was showed everywhere and it was mostly mostly bc of the background gag. but if you do think about it the relationship can get veryyy interesting!! if you think on strebs more you get SOOOO MUCH ROOM TO GO NUTS. KEVS ABOUT TO GET A SHORT SO WE WILL KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM!! BUT STREBS- STREBS- YOU CAN GO SO FUCKING NUTS.

im unhealthy about them and they mean so much to me. Ik you don't really like strebs which is totally fine your just on my hitlist for hating my boyfriend/silly/j

but like..he is very interesting when you think about the free space you got! and thats why it makes candibatz so much more interesting to me bc you can go unhinged- fjdj

tldr: they mischaracterize the characters alot and only fluff, angst or horni shit and it just flat from most people dhdjdj

KSBDND OH DEAR...

AND YE I UNDERSTAND YOUR ANGER. I WAS A VICTIM!!! I CAN NEVER SEE CANDYBATS THE SAME WAY AGAIN :C/HJ

W..wait hitlist....... shaking on my boots/silly

"Like when I say Roy" sighhhh this is slander/j

[sylenth-l]

Hello! if you dont mind me asking, what about Witch Queen's seasonal writing did you not like?

Hey! Oh boy, I'm really turning this into a rant blog, don't I 😅 I guess it may be summed up as progressing simplification and flattening of every aspect of the story, from its characters to the plot.

My biggest issues are some characters' portrayal, LOTS of poorly written empty dialogues and very uneven story progression, with characters sometimes acting like a bunch of total idiots for no reason other than for The Plot to happen. Some I didn't care about from the start and they just kept getting more irritating (e.g. Crow), others I liked before, but they suddenly mutated into something I can hardly recognize now (Eris most of all, Drifter and Big Red in a lesser amount), etc. I won't say absolutely everything was horrible, no, it had some very good stuff too: interesting conversations (mostly in the last season, which imo was the best if we don't take into account the moronic ending), cool cutscenes (I especially like the one about Saladin and the girl and ofc the O14 one), some characters are still just as good (Osiris, Mara and Caiatl make everything better every time they appear on screen, bless).

Also I must say that I'm not big fan of the current seasonal model in general. Imo, in terms of the story it creates very strict limits of things that are allowed to happen throughout the year (nothing too important or amazing, because soon it'll be deleted) and provokes not putting too much time & effort into the content, because again, soon it'll be deleted. It's not always the case, but sometimes it really shows. Only the last seasons of each year seem to be consistently impressive, maybe because they're part of the marketing campaign to sell the upcoming dlcs. All that is my personal impression, of course ✌️✨

[siphonophorus]

2, 17, 23, 35 and 41!

BG3 Act 1 Asks

this is sooo long but thank you so much for the ask!! i had a blast as you see >:)c

a jae song to listen to while reading! :D

2. Was there something about the character creator that just couldn't capture your Character? Please tell us about their hair, facial hair, tattoos, piercings, disabilities, their trans or intersex body, or anything else you're comfortable sharing.

plenty of stuff, actually! a quick list (and then summary) would be jae'ku'sureth's (or VENA CAVA's) eyes, thick brows, cheekbones, and sharper jawline, and a more curvaceous body type than the game currently offers for body type 1.

starting with the eyes, due to her poor sleeping habits, mental breakdowns that include crying, and severe eye strain, jae'ku'sureth's eyes often appear red or irritated at times. she averages about ~4-6 hours of sleep, evading her duties as g'lathk-varsh in preference of obsessing over necromancy and "creating an immortal, invincible army for vlaakith" so that she may be recognized. instead of sleeping, she peers over tir'su slates and githyanki medallions containing astral knowledge - and spends over half of her days carrying out unapproved or unsanctioned medical experiments. other times, she has mental breakdowns due to the constant pressure and fear of her kin - despite her paradoxical love for her creche and people. (other times, their eyes may appear pure red should ocular trauma or sudden bleeding occur.)

as for her face - due to where i grew up, i imagine jae'ku'sureth has more prominent cheekbones than what's in the game, as well as thicker lips/bigger mouth. same goes for thicker brows. i know some people in my reservation have these features - though i know a lot of people also pluck them. mainly my inspo for jae's face derives from a few of the wide variety of anishinaabe features but also historical oji-cree/ojibwe women whom i look up to greatly.

(feat bonus painting you did of jae)

finally, for their body - i imagine jae'ku'sureth is taller than other body type 1 gith, but also has a more pronounced chest and hips, yet their skin and physique lends themself more to a ballerina, spindly type build.

this is mainly due to the fact that when they spellcast or maintain concentration spells, they dance - not because the dancing is a physical or material component, but rather its an instinctive action she thinks will make her spellcasting better. almost like a placebo. imagine leaning when you steer a corner in a racing game - it's like that, but magic. ballet's been a long interest of mine, as well as figure skating - so i borrowed from performances. since i dont have many characters with jae's body type either, i thought it would've been gnc to give it to the character whose gith-variant who has a beard like gandalf

17. What does your Character think of Withers?

due to jae'ku'sureth's grand ideations of necromancy, and the belief that THEY will be the one to grant everlasting-life to githyanki, they adore withers and necromancy - to an unhealthy extent. jae'ku'sureth has a one-sided comfort and over-familiarity with withers, opening up to him far more quickly than they do with the other companions or tav. withers recognizes this - but also recognizes them as an adult woman. jae'ku'sureth does not revere necromancy, they dont revel or worship it like some filthy ekor - they recognize the simpering moulding blood and oxidation its held for githyanki and gith - who remains missing! the tenants it filthily dangles over their own weak and their kins' heads tauntingly - reminding them to achieve greater and greater accomplishments! the tether between breathing and bleeding- the reminder of the eternal despite the sharp pangs in your gut and your scratched throat from cries of pain! withers worshipped a god, but like... "mortals!" she'll work alongside him instead - collaboration rather than equipping man like tool like ekor-k'ya disrespectfully do! .... are they getting off-topic? tk! let that be her answer, then. that is her relationship to withers.

23. What are your Character's thoughts on the dream visitor?

(CW for discussions of colonialism and harassment)

since i consider jae'ku'sureth a companion/origin character rather than a tadpoled adventurer, i think they have a dream "lover" as was patched out of EA rather than a dream visitor in full release. as the emperor connects to her mind through the githyanki artefact, and sees jae'ku'sureth's memories of olytin aleantar, it initially mistakes jae'ku'sureth's apprehension and ignored unease of olytin as romantic feelings and attraction. this is also due to olytin's unrequited feelings of attraction to jae'ku'sureth, that jae'ku'sureth subconsciously chooses to ignore.

at first, jae'ku'sureth thinks little to nothing of olytin - an emmissary of eilistraee who one day showed up to her creche, seeking an alliance. working with kith'raks and knights of creche mir'ha'r'tal and offering her skills as an assassin and warrior - alongside poached jewels from olytin's sect of eilistraee. at some point, olytin approached jae'ku'sureth, seeking to get to know the woman better. jae'ku'sureth was scared of strangers at best and aggressive at worst, but olytin proved time and time again to be harmless. utilizing mir'ha'r'tal's "a favour for a favour" political relations, jae'ku'sureth instantly struck up a deal with olytin. olytin can spend time with jae'ku'sureth and have unimpeded access to her pop-up laboratories, and in exchange, jae'ku'sureth gets to dissect her and experiment on olytin's body for their own grand design.

on the surface, everything seemed alright - or, that olytin got the short end of the stick. but jae'ku'sureth's blind trust in olytin was the wrong move. despite the back of jae'ku'sureth's mind picking up on all the red flags olytin showed towards her - incessent attempts to talk late into the hours of the night, showing up outside one of mir'ha'r'tal's many hatcheries where jae'ku'sureth was placed, jae'ku'sureth waking up to finding olytin next to her or watching her sleep, or even olytin wanting to hold their hand against jae'ku'sureth's own wishes - jae'ku'sureth chose to ""underestimate"" olytin. ...or rather, jae'ku'sureth decided to take the chance to trust this stranger in her community for hopes of a mutually beneficial relationship. a mutually beneficial relationship, that'd see creating invincibility and undying for her kin - in hopes that they'd finally recognize and respect her, that she won't be hurt or struggling anymore. olytin left an uneasy feeling in the back of jae'ku'sureth's mind. oftentimes she wished she would leave - but this all came to the surface once the campaign started and jae'ku'sureth began having dreams in earnest of olytin's romantic intent - and she recognized it as malicious. rightfully so, because olytin is revealed to be a cultist of bane. adhering to the depraved and amoral - in every sense of the word. seeking to take mir'ha'r'tal's resources and "correct" the gith living there. there - she found jae'ku'sureth. one who made her smile. and she didn't like that. an obsession, love-hate developed. and olytin begun to hunt down jae'ku'sureth, leading the former to become an avatar of bane. it didnt help that during all of this, jae'ku'sureth's stomach pains were revealed to be from a rather haunting memory - a third party vivisecting and experimenting on her - where she didn't believe she was touchable. it was by a group of mindflayers initially, but the psionic interference of generations under their regime made jae misremember - that it was olytin who opened up her stomach. of course, olytin anticipated a struggle. her true feelings and intentions came out, the red flags became banners - and jae'ku'sureth hated every single moment of it. neutrality or dismissal turned into feelings of ever-burning hatred and disgust, and jae'ku'sureth decided: she'd kill olytin, in contrast to the latter's vacillation of wanting jae dead and alive. at this point, it no longer about avoidance - but rather jae'ku'sureth's own decision. eventually, jae'ku'sureth confronts the emperor about olytin - and demands it expel thoughts of her from their mind. thankfully, it obliges, and they form an alliance for the short while.

i mentioned before that olytin came to mir'ha'r'tal as an emissary. she is intended to be a metaphor of colonialism and colonization in canada. the church coming in - intentions as malicious as ever. olytin is conventionally attractive, highly charismatic. almost disarming at times.

35. Has your Character done anything that they regret in Act 1?

jae'ku'sureth has nothing she regrets in act 1. what she knows she has done her best to achieve - and if anything needs to be rectified, it can be rectified immediately in the present and in the near future. this mindset is what kept jae'ku'sureth alive in mir'ha'r'tal-tu'narath, and the brutal efficiency of it allows her to dominate the fast-paced world of toril, despite her unseeming and hermit-ish nature. though, if something to regret is their unapologetic nature and seeming disregard, then they'll apologize again and again. she'll be earnest every time.

her mind - it moves fast.

41. Is your Character accustomed to being on the road from before the events of the adventure?

no. and she NEVER will be. nor do they want to be.

following their rite of passage into gith society and presenting the ghaik head to vlaakith CVLII, jae'ku'sureth was placed into the lowest caste of gith society - g'lathk, the farmers' caste. what they were trained for. even more humiliatingly, jae'ku'sureth was to be a varsh. teaching children the most basic of skills because those were the only things she were the most proficient in. her placements were due to an unfortunate fact - that jae'ku'sureth was no warrior. she couldn't hold a sword the same way her kin could, and she couldnt work or be bothered with blueprints the way the other yank training to be mlar could. in fact, jae'ku'sureth slacked off in whatever training she could get away with - and showed a lack of engagement or devotion. preferring to idle away the hours in her own interests and beliefs. she would've - and should've - been culled. in fact, this was attempted against her time and time again, by her varshes, her fellow yank, and again by her kin as an adult. but one thing jae'ku'sureth had - was her wits, and her 'street smarts' as istik called it. she proved time and time again, harder and harder to kill, as because before anyone could raise a blade, a boot, or a magic missile against her, she memorized all of the mandates of vlaakith, the ones of the past, and that of gith herself. killing her would be a sin, she'd say, time and time again. and fortunately, due to creche mir'ha'r'tal's mob mentality and dedication to their queen - they'd always fear her mandated words, and side with jae'ku'sureth.

a battle of words, a battle of law. this weak, non-warrior could not die. she would neglect her charges, chasing flights of fancy, she would demean other varshes, githwarriors, and instead culled her own kin. she refused to hold a sword and used the dirtiest tricks in the books. but she could never, ever, seem to die. of course, this didn't stop jae'ku'sureth from getting jumped. it was why she was so aggressive and scared.

because of her slacking off, and the bullying, emotional neglect and abuse she faced from kin both in infancy, childhood, and adulthood, jae'ku'sureth detested working. she was barely seen by other varshes, and when she was, she seemed lazy. she hated growing the mushrooms and meat her kin subsided off, and she was infamous for being a bad cook with poor work ethic - yet snapping at anyone and nearly killing anyone through her wielding of the mandates who hurled an insult. their skin was uncalloused and soft, undesirable by others due to it showing her lack of hard work that their kin so often praised. they bore no scars, because instead of showing a warriors mettle they instead healed away any wound. they grew sore easily, couldnt jump far, lugged a greatsword compared to others - and this detestation of struggle would never leave jae'ku'sureth unless it was something she felt safe and happy around. and the road wasn't one of them.

through their escapism and idiosyncrasy, jae'ku'sureth developed an appreciation for the luxury and relaxations in life unbefitting and unlike her kin. instead, jae'ku'sureth ADORES lounging around in camp - and if you walk with her, she'll complain about sore feet 40 minutes in. or the rock in her shoe. or the bugs. the mud, even. and dont even ask her to lug above her carry weight. she's nothing but a weak g'lathk! she can't carry as much as a strong githwarr- oh, you think she's worth more than those dismissive words...? 😳 ...okay. she'll be upfront then, carry it yourself!

and hey, if you made it this far down this long ass post and you like what you see - take a look at jae'ku'sureth's playlist

[recovery-within-the-iris]

Shout out to that time when i just completed the main dawnguard mission and needed a pick me up because the vale is pretty but SUPER LONG AND IRRITATING so i decided to go to the nearby orc stronghold, brawl the chief and marry one of the chiefs daughters, Borgakh the Steel Heart and she was excited to leave with me. So excited that for some reason, she said i do and turned and left the temple of mara before my little argonian nerd man could answer yeah or nay or marriage. Then i got nervous, rushed the ceremony and tried to follow her outside cause she didnt ask where she could go live and when i looked at the dispersing crowd of loved ones, she was fucking no where. So now im running around to all my houses; shes not at vindrell hall, shes not a breezehome, shes not at honeyside and by this point,i dont have the home from windhelm or solitude. Ik i have a modded in castle house(cause i need the space, this is an archival run) so maybe the a.i got confused and went there. Nope. Shes not at dragonblood castle. Idk where my wife went.

So i say fuck it and assume maybe she went back to her stronghold and i still have to pay her dowry. As i arrive, its night time and dark asf. I have no follower but im just here to check for wife. No wife, infact, nobody is here other than her mom. So i sigh and start looking up what could of happend online. I see something that says that a glitch can occur where they leave(this has NEVER happened to me before and ive married easily on all 3 of my previous playthroughs) and it might be fixed if you wait outside the temple for a day and then re-enter.

As im about to fast travel from an area next to solitude(farthest northwest of the large map) alllll the way back to riften(farthest southeast of the large map) i get taken out of my map to my horse next to me freaking out and in cheeky little white writing at the top left of my screen, a tiny little message pops up " you can not fast travel with enemies near by". Im sorry WHAT?? I look up and cinamatically captured by my camera angle, i see an elder dragon, blowing a stomache full of fire, swoop over the orc stronghold that singularly holds my new wife's father, grandmother and mother.

So yeah.. I fight and kill the dragon. Im lvl 42 by this point, dragons dont really phase me much. Are they scary and big? Yes but not something i couldnt handle with a couple of iron arrows, 5 poisons and good aim. I see arrows that arnt mine being shot at the dragon while i kill it and i see my new mother in law running into the longhouse of the stronghold after its dead so i just assume, everything is alright. Dragon's dead, i saved my in laws but i still cant find my fuckin wife. So i follow what the guide says and fast travel to riften.

I choose to appear infront of the gates of riften instead of the much closer jarls house thing because i just got a bunch of Dragon bones and scales, im overencumbered, i wanna make some money. As im about to start walking and turn to go to the pawned prawn, shit you not, up comes padding the fucking courier. See, awhile back, i started the portion of the white phial mission and (spoilers) ive been waiting for neurelion to just die already so i can get the phial. I assume "finally! I can get the phial!" Nope. The courier tells me i have some inheritance, sorry for your loss, leaves. Now im abit sad, cause see i assume its one of the beggars in the game as i like to walk up and give them the gold everytime im in town. I have an absurd amount of gold so i dont really mind. However, if the beggar dies in the game, they can give you the inheritance. I was sad cause i like the beggar characters and it'll suck to go to a shopping district without paying them a visit.

As im reading through the inheritance letter thing, i notice the name is not one i recognize. Its chief ka-something. Im thinking " who tf is that?" Then it hits me. The orc stonghold that just got attacked, my new wife is the daughter of the chief... Did my father in law just die?? I didnt see his body?? So i say fuck this shit and fast travel right back to the stronghold. Im looking around and i see the mom up and walking around and as i turn the cornor of the fence, in typical skyrim fashion, theres dead grandma all proped up on her knees and leaning back like shes about to do a sick slide. Then i glance to my right and right infront of the door to the long house is, shit you not, the body of my missing wife's dad.

I may get too much into character when i play skyrim cause all i can imagen is that this orc stronghold was peachy till this hot shot little nerdy argonian boy came trottn in. He arm wrestled the chief and offered to marry his daughter so he could get the resources and she could get her freedom. Everything is fine until after the wedding and suddenly their daughter fuckin gose missing after silently leaving her own ceremony. The family just returns the stronghold confused and late that night, the new son in law pops up just outside the gate and peaks in then looks like hes about to leave before, what they can only assume, is the boy's pissed dragon-uncle, comes swooping in and kills their leader and matriarch. The boy kills the dragon then just fucking leaves without saying anything. They file the death. The chief wanted somethin to be left for his daughter's new non-traditional family so 100g gets drained from the bank account. Then a day later he shows up and starts standing over the corpses looking incredibly confused.

Oh and to top it all off, just when i was about to go back and try the waiting outside thing, my game crashes :) everything resets to the moment i finished the dawnguard mission. I have never met my wife or this family i brought dragony harm upon and ive elected to take that as a sign that perhaps i am not to marry that orc woman and will infact, never return to their stronghold again :)

Is ok, my character has known and interacted with Vivienne from solitude more so now i get rp as my guy building a house for them(windsetd) and everyone around them knowing my guy has a massive crush and will propose anyday and they knkw because hes been around the potion shop more often and hes been buying ALOT of building materials suddenly :)

He(i) also got to directly save her from a dragon attack by killing a dragon that was in the shopping district of solitude. :) i cant wait to marry those two

[kirua9]

Makoto's route. Dark 03

Characters: Makoto Aomine, Kou Mukami, Azusa Mukami

Location: Mukamis mansion.

*Living room*

Makoto: (They have an old as heck TV over there as I remember... I wanna relax, maybe some show will make the trick?)

*she plugs the wire into*

Makoto: Ah, guess it'll work now. Where's the remote...

*Piu*

*Some TV noises*

Makoto: News, cartoons, nah... Maybe some cool action movie? No?.. What a drag!

Makoto:  Oh, an idol show.

Makoto: ( He-he, everything is so colorful, the studio, their costumes, and... How strange, a very familiar figure... No, way that's Kou Mukami!  Yeah, I'm not wrong.

I've heard he's been a popular idol, but I thought about some local clubs...

He looks so ideal here, so happy...)

*The idols start dancing and singing*

Makoto: *reads the lyrical text*

☆ If you can love someone,

then without a doubt, 

that's what it means to be strong! ☆

Makoto: ...

Makoto: *reads*

☆Overcome all the pain.

I'm sure you can do it! 

You're not alone!☆

Makoto: Crap, nothing else.

*Kou appears from behind*

Kou:Ah, M-neko-Chan, I see you're enjoying the concert? Tho, the recording is kinda crusty, I'm sure you'll  love it with fulfillment.

Makoto: ...

Makoto: You're so cool on stage, Kou-kun. But I doubt I like this... Especially this song.

Kou: Eh?? I see. At least that's true, so I'm not mad at you

Makoto: ??? (And how the heck he knew it's true?)

Kou: This is the last week concert, we were singing Angel of Love*, actually a cover of "XXX" girl band.

Makoto: Yeah...

Makoto: This song pisses me off. "You're not alone"  they sing, I'm not pleasant to hear it as you can see...

Kou: Anyways, I'm in a good mood today, so how about a dance?

Makoto: A dance?! No, not now...

Kou: Haa? I don't wanna hear this shit. Come on and dance with me, I'll teach you if you can't!

*He starts singing Angel of Love, covering the TV sounds*

Kou: Repeat after me, go! I hate your dull face right now.

Makoto: Tch! (He holds me tightly, his nails scratch my arms.)

Makoto: Why are you hurting me?!

Kou: Hm? I'm not. I just want you to cheer up! C'mon sing "Overcome all the pain~! I'm sure you can do it!"

Makoto: Over... pain.. Stop! Stop spinning around! Let me go already!

Makoto: (Fuck! What's that? Why is he so mean all of sudden???)

Kou: How irritating! Isn't that fun to sing and dance? Your face became even uglier!

Makoto: ...Wither!

Kou: You're stupid as a wooden door, if I told you I'm in a good mood, you can't ruin it just because you're thinking all about yourself. You're disgusting.

Makoto: ...

Kou: This is so disgusting how you peacefully hide your intentions by the goods.

Makoto: Ha...ha...

Kou: So? Does the truth stabbs your eyes, kitty?

Makoto: You should... see how disgusting you are firstly.

Kou: !!!

*Pull* *Crash*

Makoto: Ah-Aouch!

Kou: Hug the door, idiot kitten.

*he leaves*

Makoto: Ha... This asshole threw me on the door... Fuck... Is that blood?..

Makoto: Hah..Hah... Why...

*Someone appears*

??? : Do you... liked it?..

Makoto: What?.. No... My head is spinning, I can't feel the right hip...

Azusa: How strange... I'd like to... get hurt.

Makoto:Ah..ah.. Stop saying this  nonsense.. and help me to stand up... Or kneeled at least...

*he helps her to sit on lap*

Makoto: Thanks... Ha...

Azusa: Where it hurts?..

Makoto: Ha... My head still spinning... but the right side of my body hurts less...

Azusa: ...

Azusa: Why dont you like me?

Makoto: A? I've never said wether I like or hate you. I simply don't know you yet.

Azusa: But you don't want to hit me... You were about to hit the floor... with your emotions...

Makoto: Ha! I'm not insane as Kou... I can control myself and don't hurt people around me...

* Pull*

Makoto: ( He touched my lap! How painful!.? But he only slightly touched)Ah! It hurts!..

*she girts her teeth*

Azusa: ?.. Why are you crying?..

Makoto: How can't you understand? It hurts! It's too much for me!

(I guess I'm loosing it, not only physical pain, I want to crash that asshole Kou... )

Azusa: Your tears... falling on my clothes.. Now... my hands are.. all wet...

Makoto: ! That's not my fault! Get out of me!..

Makoto: Kha.. I can't move, it hurts too much... 

Azusa: I wish... I could feel it... at the same.. rate...

Makoto: ?

Makoto: You know, I don't care! I don't care about your wet clothes either... But why?.. Why is he so mean while he seems to be nice?

Azusa: I know... you might not care...

Makoto: ( He's become downcast with those words said... So  wrong timing!) Don't be dull, you see how much I suffer? Please, tell me!

Azusa: ...Why do you need this?...

Makoto: I need the actual reasons to take a revenge... Or simply talking –I need truth. Again and again...

Azusa: ...How strange... people usually don't like... the truth...

Azusa: But... Kou-kun had... a hard time in the orphanage...

Makoto: ...

Azusa: I don't know... all details... but others...also  were in pain... Terrible pain...

We all suffered. But now we're vampires, we've started a new life...

Makoto: And  the track of past... is still visible...

Azusa: You're right...

Makoto: (I can't... No more talking, I'm going down...)

Azusa: ?

Azusa: Has she... fainted?

Monolog:

   I see they all had been suffering before they became immortal...

   The fate... wasn't nice to them, I guess, it's wrong to blame them.

    But what about me? Have I deserved to be punched like that only because Kou  suffered in the past ?..

    This is frustrating... But I can't endure the pain of others on my skin.

---

* Angel of Love – a song from "Perfect Blue" anime by Satoshi Kon. (I'm not talking about the multiverse, but this song makes me very uncomfortable, tho it sounds cheerful.)

[marinagail]

"#who can compare with berlin season 1 and 2" friend you are so right you are so correct for this. like s3+ andres is like ... more relatable i guess or human or whatever but he's not as deeply fucked up and fascinating? like internalized homophobia truly is such a 2004 character trait skcjjsjsfh. dont get me wrong i enjoy him regardless but i dont have the impulse to study him like i do in s1-2, like he truly is such an interesting disaster in a completely different way than "pitiable, empathizable man who denies himself love" (which is poignant, but not as compelling as "what the fuck is wrong with this person is he even human what the fuck")

Glad I found my mutual on this matter. I don't know whether it is an unpopular opinion to like Andres more in s1 and 2 because everyone seems to like Berlin more in season 3-5. it's not wrong to like Berlin on those seasons. I like him too on some level. But NOTHING compare to the feeling you get while watching Season 1&2 Berlin. Do I hate him? Do I tolerate him? Do I agree with him? Do I disagree with him? Should I feel bad for him? Or did he deserve that punishment? Whats with him and the fishes he keep staring at? Lol. That questions and debate you had on your mind regarding this character and the decisions He's making.

When you say he's such an interesting disaster I agree. There's so many layers and shades.

Berlin season 1 and 2 is such a character study, what could be more vexing and vainglorious than berlin s1 and 2?

From the way I study him, he is known to be insufferable spiteful, with the expertise in creating a horror vibe in every situations along with his irritating smirk.

He made it easy for people to hate him with his cleverness in knacking the sweet, pitiful, guilt tripping, intimidating interaction, while throwing dry jokes that anybody who listen to will have to forced to laugh because they can't stand hearing him talking.

He's the type of Leader who possessed an abusive, greedy, and manipulative attitude, crafted with self indulgent, liberal, and suave persona.

He's also a sadist who possessed a phobia of stereotyped, hence he appeared noble, eminent and salient. (Remember the scene where he asked everybody to hold hands together to pray?) Lol the funny thing is that Nairobi and the other teams hold hands together getting ready to pray along.

It also explain alot about how he cares so much about his persona, and his reputation. He had to look perfect.

And Its even more shocking how Professor would put a dying man, a man like Berlin, in charge of the biggest heist He's been planning for years. And the punishment he gave to Berlin is so severe and damaging. That's cruel and heartless but at the same time the trust between those two is wonderful which you can see it throughout the season 1 and 2. I have to say the relationship and the dynamic between Professor and Berlin in s1&2 is very mature, dark and deep and satisfying to watch. That's the vibe i'm getting at while watching them.

His affection and love for Sergio is on another dimension. He's so soft and so careful when it comes to Sergio, even when he conversed with him. Their relationship, you can't help but feel it's a bit weird. Especially in season 1 and 2. He didn't treat Sergio the way he treated his other teammates, even from the start. He treated him with respect, affection, adoration, admiration, carefulness, almost as if he was surrendered to him body and soul. I don't know if I'm exaggerating here, but that's what I felt when I watch them in S1&2 even when I found out that they somehow related.

But there's also an underlaying sadness and pain and mystery. He's such a sad story but we can't mourn for him, or pity him. Like what did Andres do in the past? why was he alone when he was sick and only had 3 months more to live? And the fact that he just got out of the jail? That kind of tragic story. (Season 5 ruined the authenticity of the mystery behind the story of why and how he got arrested, instead we got Berlin arrested for vandalism?? Seriously?? The cringe story of his son stealing his wife lol, don't get me started)

Damn, so many layers to unfold. So many shades to be seen. where you can explore more about his characteristic. S1 & 2 Berlin gave us the vibe of horror, tragedy, mystery, pain and pleasure, malicious, and tenderness.

And yet, all we get from S3-5 is Andres being dolly, getting married, stabbing a guy with a fork, and worse, the unwanted by the whole audience of the appearance of his son. Out of nowhere. Worst when he did robbery with his son and his wife lol. Who the hell he think he is? Romeo and Juliet? Bonnie and Clyde? Season 1 Berlin would never do that. Instead he'd lie to his women about the blood on his sleeves and the bruised on his lips and never got them involved in any business matter. I think he'd murder them or manipulate them like he did to Adriadna.

And it seems to me he made more enemies than friends, he never listened to any advice, and when he did make friends, they're all so fake. How do I know this? Or think that this is what's happening?

I think if you see it from season 3+ it shows on his affection towards Martin which he called "best friend/soulmate". Perhaps the only thing I like about season 3+ Andres is his personal relationship with Martin and Sergio. How come people like sergio and Martin are the only two that can tolerate him somehow lol. What kind of forbearance, endurance, and tolerance that these two have? Lol. Even when there are some parts that I don't like too but without that plot he's not that interesting.

Martin is that one true friend that cared for him, you wouldn't call someone soulmate if that's not what's happening. Since I think all his friends which he talked about in season 1&2 (I think it was the scene when he seek out Denver for confrontation, while he was talking to Nairobi about how his friends will watch the horrible news about him on tv) didn't really care about him.

I think they all secretly hate him and want to see him go down, that's somehow tragic and pathetic at the same time, very fitting for Berlin's characteristic, leading him to his downfall. Wish they explore about it more, instead what we see is that all of them are sitting down comfortably, loving him, admiring him, with andres walking around looking pitiful wearing his silk robe. (Idk, every scene of him in season 5 is just very off)

Season 3+ story is also not completed, like the reason why Andres chose Sergio. His incapability to give love back to his best friend, I think the reason because he always ruin everything he touches, he didn't want to ruin that one too. And don't get me started on Sergio and Raquel on season 3+. It's just.. Very no no for me. I'm sorry serquel.

And don't forget, his relationship with Sergio. I almost laugh, lol.. Because every season seems like it tales different story about these two.

It never explained clearly and well how the two met. Or how they ended up together. And strange that Andres never said to anybody, or never had a talk to anybody regarding his brotherhood with Sergio. Only calling him Hermanito. I don't think Andres ever mentioned about it, not even to his own son. It's unclear whether they're brothers for real, or Andres was adopted. In s5 Andres mentioned that they ever lived in the same house together when Sergio saw his father died. And that's it. No more explanation besides that.

Sorry this rant too long. I just had so much in mind and so many things to talk about regarding this matter. Glad you asked friend!🙏🏻 I hope it's not too confusing 🤭

[dedbuny]

hi :) im bunny and im a chronic maladaptive daydreamer :)

ive been doing it for about eight years now and im curious to see how many others do it too !

my (only moderately depressing) maladaptive daydreaming story/timeline is below the cut, if that interests u at all :) id love to hear urs as well in the notes !

my first memory of maladaptive daydreaming (aside from playing house and stuff as a kid) was in 2014 when i was in sixth grade. my friend and i would pretend to be certain characters throughout the whole school day, even writing the characters’ names on our schoolwork and calling each other by those names. the most common characters were always sam and dean, which is .. something . sometimes it was the 5sos members. then as the years went by the chosen characters changed depending on my hyperfixation at the time.

in grade eight i had moved on to kpop. this is the worst it gets i promise. mostly the same continued, except this year i realized something revolutionary: i could include myself in the daydream ! so i started pretending i was whatever kpop idol i was interested in on any given day’s friend, every day, for the next five to six years. this is where it became an addiction i guess.

grade nine was more of the same but with some drag race girls sprinkled in. grade ten was more of the same but with some video game characters sprinkled in. as those five to six years went by i continued daydreaming about myself and any chosen person or character i liked, except i realized one other extremely important thing: i could also just make up my own characters…..

so i did . technically the first original character i ever made was in eighth grade, named jacob. as much as i’m now trying to slowly distance myself from the maladaptive daydreaming and all the characters that were born from it, jacob really feels like my friend. they’ve evolved with me every step of the way — they’ve gone through a whole appearance change, their personality has changed, their gender and pronouns have changed, their world views have changed, all alongside my own, so it really does feel like i’ve found a lifelong friend who just gets me. and upon realizing that i’m purposefully creating my own blorbos from my mind to perfectly match my needs and wants and behave exactly like i want them to, i started feeling extremely self conscious about it all.

over the last five to six years i’ve created roughly 23 different characters, all with intertwining relationships and backstories and personalities and interests and styles. it’s been really fun actually, to be able to essentially create an entirely made-up friend group and make up their relationships with each other and watch them all grow. the issue lies in the fact that i’m spending more time imagining i’m them and/or imagining i’m with them than i am actually being in reality.

because all these characters behave in the exact ways i want them to and understand me perfectly inside and out, i’ve become much more easy to irritate. i find myself having a much shorter temper with my friends and family. my ocs know what i’m thinking and always have the perfect answer, because they are me. they know what makes me uncomfortable and avoid doing so, because they are me. they never question anything i say or challenge any of my beliefs, because they are me. in other words , uh oh .

this has all made me extremely paranoid, extremely insecure, extremely anxious and extremely depressed. it’s gotten to the point where i don’t really know who i am anymore, because i don’t really feel like i’m the one who has evolved or grown over the years. i feel like a side character to all the ocs i’ve made who are living my life for me. it feels like all my decisions are made by whoever it is i’m daydreaming as in that moment. i’ve had multiple breakdowns due to remembering that none of this world i’ve built in my head is real, and none of it ever will be. but it all feels unbelievably real. and i feel like if i ever stop i’ll be punched in the face with the consequences of letting what is essentially my imaginary friends control my life for six years.

i’ve thought it might be either evolving into or had initially stemmed from schizophrenia or ocd or did or something similar but i don’t even know anymore. right now it just seems like a combination of having autism, depression, severe anxiety, an extremely vivid imagination, and being chronically lonely.

i truly feel like i’m suffering alone here. i know there are other people who maladaptive daydream but i’ve never heard of anyone who does it like me. if anyone reading this understands what im going through i’d love to hear from you !!!!!

if u got this far into reading, thank u for hearing me out :)

love, bunny (...and jay and marcus and darius and veronica and luca and hiroki and minki and advik and hannah and hanna and nayeon and shauna and joslyn and thomas and christian and jack and claire and marion and peter and frances and oskar and felix and frederick and svante and shaelynn and heather and more)

[gyuswhore]

Get tf ready im writing my own mika appreciation fic down here:

First of all THE JUN AND READER LOVEHATE BANTER IS CHEFS KISS 

Also love how even while reader is so upset she finds it within herself to tell him she’s proud even though he’s leaving HURTS SO GOOD 

HAO REMEMBERING THE CUTE DETAILS ON HER JEANS GOD ME WHEN and the recurring pink jacket kfjnakejfnkeajr

THE INFINITY SIGN THE FUCKING INFINITY SIGN MIKA I SEE YOU 

The brushes the touches the little innocent stuff IMKFVSKJNFGVSJIGF

‘it’s a little piece of you that Minghao is sharing with the world’ NOW WHY DID THAT HAVE ME BURYING FACE IN A PILLOW 

The argument before hao left I FELT IT IN MY SOUL shes so hurt hes confused its madness and then he LEAVES AND THE AIR IS LEFT HANGING TO MARINATE KSFVSFVM

Her feelings have been harboring for os long and you can FEEL it when she explodes bc oh my god it had me tearing up for my own distant brother (that i dont have lmao)

Also the pop showing up like an emotional crutch everywhere love the detail

YIREN BEING THE BEST BESTIE EVER WHERE DO I FIND A YIREN

The awkward car ride when jun and hao come back is so ofvjsofjgvsitgirbnrsigb like yes the angst the tension the unspoken misery

THE FIGHT™ i love how involved jun is like its not just reader and hao and their relationship like jun is in the mix heavily and he’s a major part of the readers story AND haos story together. Like that fight was enough brother sister bickering aspect and enough serious adult conversation with adult emotions and irritances like they’re growing. 

THE KISS THE FUCKING KISS IT HAPPENED OVER A POP AND THEN THE EMOTIONS SO MANY FUCKING  E M O T I O N S 

Also reader going that far to apologize we love to see healthy self awareness 

ALSO the apology to jun where everything just comes spilling out after and juns the wingman along w the members SAUR FUCKING CUTE THAT WAS SO CUTE TO READ AKFJVMKEFV 

Idk why but reader admitting she was jealous of BOTH hao and jun is so funny to me like real but how confusing must that be

AND THE LETTER. THE FUCKING LETTER. Im gonna sob reader is so me making him swear to read it when shes not around LMAO

JUN APPEARING DURING SEXYTIME I LOVE THAT 

AND THE OTHER FUCKING LETTER????? THEY GAVE  E A C H  O T H E R  LETTERS/??????? excus e me while i cry sob scream shriek 

AND HE TOLD HER NOT TO READ IT IN FRONT OF HIM HAO YOU FUCKING CUTIE IM GONNA EAT YOU SKFNVSIFNVW

“P.S. I love you.” IM KAFMVJAF okokokokokokokokokokokokok its fine im fine im so okay im so fine imefnvenv

OK LEMME BREAK DOWN MY FAVOURITE BITS:

The infinity sign i ofnvwienvwioevwt idk why i love it so much it basically means his signature symbol that defines him as an artist came to be when he was WITH HER so he basically carries a part of her with him whenever hes known with that 8 infinity sign GOING TO CRY ACTUALLY 

The tiny lil innocent touching and brushes AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFKMAFMAFHAhaahahAHFJAFHAR im okay they sseem SO FUCKING INTIMATE LIKE IJAFNERIGN JUST FUCK EACH OTHER ALREADY GEEZ

Somehting about jun being such a constant in this and not a side character for the sake of the trope like he’s part of readers life and her decisions and her feelings and a PART OF THE STORY than excess piece of information and i LOVE how jun as her brother is her first concern when alot of these things happen despite liking hao like girlie has priorities set in this regard which is hard to find in fics like this honestly (i mean it helps that jun isnt an asshole brother but you get me) also i dont have a brother of my own and so i kinda felt like. Oh. this is what i want my relationship to be like witha a brother too. Like i always read them as they fucking hate each other and the second friends get involved it all goes to shit and so it was so nice to read in this context ykyk

Personally people who bond over food are just so aofekfakjfnakejf like idk i love it so much like YES lets share this cupcake i made with love while we talk to each othe about whatever this cupcake holds a ground for our conversation and our bond and thats FUCJING BEAUTIFUL 

Speaking of bonds I LOVE how reader and hao actually have things in common to bond over and it isnt just plain attraction like the radiohead the pop the cupcake (jun lol) like its like. Idk i just like how it it feels like they’re friends that trust each other before they’re anything else  

the letter — x. minghao x reader

i hope one word, one letter, will laugh and cry with you (the letter / ateez)

description. in which you’re jun's little sister and have been pining for a man so close yet so out of reach for ages. now, years later, when you see minghao all grown up, famous, and still making your heart flutter, you're not so sure what to do about your not-so-little crush.

genres. smut (18+), slowburn, fluff, angst, childhood f2l tags. idol!au, alcohol consumption & underage drinking, lots of arguments, oral (f receiving), Lots of pent up emotions oops, miscommunication, sorta hot headed reader, minghao is minghao and that is a warning enough fic playlist. w/c. 26.3k a/n. i had so so so much fun writing this! huge thanks to @gyuswhore bc em literally helped me through every step of the way & sat through me planning & switching around the events of the story a bajillion times, and thank u to @honeyhypen who read over this for me ^-^ now this is a weeeeeeee bit long and if ur here for the smut uhh idk what to tell u it's at the end but i highly suggest reading the fic first bc i think it makes it like 349784 times better >_< if u like this, pls comment & reblog, it'd mean the world to me hehe!

ENVELOPE

To: Xu Minghao

“Why are you in my room?” Jun huffs, turning around to look up at you as you stand by his door. In front of him is a massive, yet unfinished LEGO replica of Hogwarts. You frown, glancing at his friend who lays on his bed with a phone up to his face.

He’s Jun’s new friend, and you’ve heard your brother talk about him but this is your first time really seeing Minghao in the flesh. Shaggy hair hangs loose over his dark eyes as he peeks over his phone and glances at Jun, as if to silently ask who you are.

“Dad says dinner is ready,” you tell him, feeling a little timid under the gaze of the new boy. He’s only two years older than you, but the only interaction you get with high schoolers is your brother, so you’re feeling shy. He’s a very nice looking boy, you think to yourself, but try hard not to stare as Minghao uncrosses his legs and sits up on your brother's bed.

Jun’s eyes soften when he notices you standing awkwardly, standing up and pointing at you as he says your name. “My sister—two years younger,” he explains.

“One point five, actually,” you correct him with a roll of your eyes, feeling more comfortable now that Jun is initiating something. Your brother laughs at you and ruffles your hair while Minghao stands up behind him.

“Ya-da, ya-da. You’re still two grades below, so it doesn’t really make a difference. Anyways, this is Minghao,” he says, pointing at his friend behind him who throws you a small smile and wave.

“I know,” you blurt out before you even have a chance to think, heat flushing to your face after you realize what you said and see Minghao give you a funny look. “I-I mean because Jun talks about you a lot,” you clarify, clearing your throat. “Y’know, he doesn’t have a lot of friends so when—”

Jun clamps a hand over your mouth and gently drags you out of the room as Minghao follows behind closely with silent laughter. “That’s enough from you. Watch it, or I’m never letting you talk to my friends again.”

“Friends? I think you mean friend,” you retort, looking back at Minghao who watches the two of you amusedly. “Are you sure you want to be friends with someone so mean to his sist—”

Jun flicks your forehead and you push his chest. “Shut up already! If you scare away all my friends, all I’ll have left is you, and you’ll just have to put up with me all day!”

“You’re right about that,” you say with a heavy sigh as you all make your way to the dinner table where your father has set out a meal for the three of you. Putting your hands up in defeat as you sit down at your spot at the middle end of the table, you glance at Minghao who takes a seat with Jun sitting between the two of you. “I guess I’ll back off for now.”

Jun scoffs. “You better.” The three of you laugh together.

Yiren rummages through your closet, and you frown deeply. “Hey! You better clean that up,” you warn, rolling off of your bed and onto the floor, lazily standing up.

“I’m helping you pick out a nice outfit! You said Minghao is coming ri—” You scramble to your feet to slap a hand over Yiren’s mouth, eyes wide.

“Shut up! My brother’s room is right there—he might hear you!”

Yiren rolls her eyes, nudging your hand off her mouth with a huff. “Oh my god, don’t tell me you haven’t told him yet.”

“What?” you narrow your eyes at her, grabbing one of your bras that she threw onto the ground and stuffing it back into your closet. “You thought I was going to tell Jun that I have a crush on his best friend?” you half whisper, half yell.

“Uh, why wouldn’t you? You’re seriously missing out on your chance to have him help you get with Minghao.”

You scoff, looking down at all the clothes strewn across the floor. “Have you met my brother? He would flip if I even mentioned being with a guy, let alone that guy being two years older and his friend.”

“You don’t know that,” Yiren retorts, throwing herself onto your bed leaving you to clean up the mess she made.

“Yes I do. This is how I can tell you don’t have any brothers …”

“Well if you never make a move on Minghao, how are you ever going to get him? You gotta start somewhere, and maybe your brother is the first nut you gotta crack to get there.”

“If you haven’t noticed, I haven’t exactly planned on making any moves,” you mumble, reaching down to pick up a cute pink jacket you haven’t seen in a while.

“Uh, why not?” Yiren piques, sitting upright on your mattress.

“Excuse me, have you looked at Minghao?” you groan, slumping against your wall with the jacket in your hands. “He’s so … cool, and popular, and handsome,” you gush, and Yiren makes a disgusted face.

“Uh, no, sorry I don’t fawn over your future husband, so I don’t really look at Minghao but—”

“And he’s going to be a senior! Why would a senior ever go for—” you look down and gesture at yourself, “—me.”

“You’re seriously downgrading yourself—you know you’re a catch.”

“Yeah, not for someone like him,” you snort, flopping down onto your bed next to her. “It’s whatever, it’s a stupid crush anyways.”

“Yeah,” Yiren says flatly. “You’ve only been crushing on him for like three years—hey! Don’t hit me!”

“Then stop saying this stuff,” you groan, throwing a pillow onto her head.

“Okay fine, I’ll stop. So are you going to wear that?” she asks, pointing at the jacket you left at the foot of your bed.

“Yeah, I think I will. It’s cute right?”

“Mhm … bet Minghao will totally like it and—”

“Yiren, shut up,” you giggle, pushing her again as you roll off the bed. “Okay, so the pink jacket and these jeans?” you ask, picking one pair off the ground and holding it up for her to see.

“Mm, no,” she says while shaking her head, standing up to join you as she looks at all of the clothes she threw across the floor. “Let’s see …” she hums to herself.

“Yiren,” you say with a laugh, “I think you’re putting more thought into this than me.”

“Well I can’t just let my best friend be single and lonely for the rest of her life! If all you do is sit around and listen to Radiohead, you’re going to end up being sixty-five and alone in some cottage in the woods.”

“Hey! That actually seems pretty peaceful,” you try to object, but Yiren narrows her eyes in your direction.

“Okay well,” she drawls out, putting her hands on your shoulders so you’re right in front of her, “Imagine being sixty-five and living in a cute cottage in the woods with Minghao. Sounds better, doesn’t it?” You can’t help the giddy grin that makes its way onto your face when Yiren says that, and she punches your shoulder lightly when she notices. “See, you do want that! So just listen to me, okay?”

“Okay, okay, fine! Just tell me which jeans to wear.”

She looks down, picking through the denim before pulling out a light blue one with little flowers embroidered on the pockets. “Look, this is cute. It’ll match with the jacket.”

You nod along, not questioning her because as far as you know, Yiren’s fashionable instinct stretches much further than yours and whatever she says about this must be true. As you change from your pajamas  into your new, curated outfit, Yiren sits back on the bed and grins widely.

“Looks perfect on you. Minghao will love it.”

“You think?” you pique, looking at her with bright, beaming eyes.

She winks at you and you jump up and down on the balls of your feet at the excitement. “I want at least 25% of whatever you get from your wedding gifts. You both will owe me big time.”

“I’ll believe it when it happens … Anyways, you ready to go? Let’s wait downstairs and get some pop while we wait for Minghao to come,” you suggest, Yiren agreeing with a nod as she bounces behind you. Jun, it seems, is still in his room waiting for his friend, so you stick your head through his door. “We’re going down to snack a little. Wanna come?”

Your brother shrugs, pushing himself off his swiveling chair to join you. “You know if we still have those cupcakes? The ones you made last week?”

“I think we have a few left. Why? You liked them?” you exclaim happily, turning around to face Jun as the three of you settle in the kitchen. You reach for a box you kept on the island, popping off the lid to show him.

Jun grins and pulls one out and you offer one to Yiren who stands beside you. “‘course I like them,” he says with his mouth stuffed with cake and cream.

Yiren, shooting a look of disgust his way, says, “Ew! Please don’t chew and talk, that’s gross.” Jun rolls his eyes at her as Yiren stuffs her own face with the cupcake, sighing as she digs in.

“Whatever,” Jun grumbles after swallowing it down. “They taste really good, you should make them more.”

Yiren nods, tapping your shoulder, “Agreed. Send me the recipe too,” voice muffled as she continues to munch down on the cupcake.

“Didn’t you just tell me not to eat with my mouth full?” Jun mutters, crossing his hands over his chest. You laugh at the banter and suddenly you hear the doorbell ring, ears perking up. “That’s probably Minghao—I’ll get the door.”

As your brother makes his way down to the foyer, you turn to look at Yiren. “I would give you the recipe but I don’t want to be the reason your house burns down. Seriously, remember the last time you tried baking and—”

“Oh my god, is the recipe what you’re thinking about right now? Minghao is just about to come—offer him a cupcake! Show him your amazing baking skills and show him what a good housewife you can be!”

You give your best friend a look of bewilderment. “What the hell Yiren,” you groan, slapping your hand on your face, trying to hold back your chuckles. “Okay, I’ll give it to him but only because I want him to be impressed. Not because I want to submit myself to misogyny for the sake of a man.”

“Okay fine but—look!” she exclaims in a hushed whisper. “He’s here!” You immediately straighten your back and smile when Jun walks back into the kitchen with Minghao. He’s wearing some loose jeans and a black hoodie, his hair longer than before.

He says your name when he sees you, throwing up a wave and a smile. Minghao then glances at Yiren with a blank stare, pursing his lips together. Yiren chuckles nervously and clicks her tongue while pointing at herself. “Yiren.”

“Ah. Hi Yiren,” he says politely.

“You guys want some pop?” Jun offers when he opens up the fridge. Yiren, Minghao, and you nod happily and respectively call out your choices.

“Sprite!”

“Cola!”

“Cola!”

Jun juts his lip out in a pout when he turns back to the three of you. “I wanted Cola too, but there’s only two left.” You’re about to furrow your brows and tell him that it’s okay, you don’t really want any, but Minghao speaks up before you.

“She can have the Cola, I don’t mind,” he says casually, grabbing one can from Jun and handing it to you with soft eyes. “Here.”

“Are you sure? I don’t really care for the difference between Sprite and Cola and—”

Minghao chuckles and shakes his head, and you think you might just pass out when your palm brushes against his knuckles when he eases the cold can into your hand. “Seriously, it’s fine,” he tells you. You glance at Jun and Yiren who are busy opening their own cans, turning your attention back to Minghao.

“Thank you … Uh, do you want a cupcake? I made some a while ago and we still have some left,” you offer, holding up the box to him.

“It’s the last one. Are you sure?”

“How the tables have turned,” you laugh, and Minghao cracks a bright smile at that and holy crap, if you weren’t so busy trying to keep your composure, you’d be freaking out over how handsome he looks when he smiles. “‘course you can have it. I’ve had plenty of them,” you admit sheepishly as he reaches for the cupcake and brings up to his mouth.

“Holy shit. I don’t blame you for eating a lot—if I had these in my house they’d be gone in like an hour.”

“Right!” Yiren agrees, and you can’t help but chew on your bottom lip when you smile from the praise.

“Guess this is just a sign for you to make more, huh,” Jun says, walking to stand next to you to lean on your shoulder.

“Uh-uh! You gotta reimburse me somehow,” you protest, looking up at your brother with a firm expression.

“Please make more, they’re really good. I’ll buy you boba if you make more,” Minghao chimes, and it’s safe to say you don’t expect it from the way you cough on your own saliva. Yiren laughs at your reaction, and Jun only looks at you weirdly when you nod in agreement.

“Oh, so you’ll make cupcakes when he asks but not for your dear older brother?”

You roll your eyes, saying, “He offered to buy me boba! You know I can’t turn that down.”

Jun huffs in faux irritation, digging his hand into his pocket to fish out his keys. “Ya-da, ya-da. Anyways, would anyone other than my super fake, mean, evil sister like to go to karaoke now?” he asks playfully. All it takes is one glare and pulling on his hair for a few seconds to have him shouting out apologies as the four of you make your way to the car garage.

The ride to the karaoke place is short with Jun in the front and Minghao sitting in the passenger seat next to him. You and Yiren pile into the back, and the three of you scroll through your phones to decide what songs to sing later while Jun drives.

“I get to sing Creep, right?” you ask excitedly, bouncing up and down in your seat.

“How’d I know you were going to bring up Radiohead,” Jun mutters, pressing his head back into the head rest when he stops at a red light, while Minghao turns in his seat to look back at you with wide eyes.

“You like Radiohead?” he asks with a small smile.

The corners of your lips are lifted and your face brightens when you nod vigorously. “Yeah I do!”

“I think ‘like’ would be an understatement. I’m like 99% sure Thom Yorke lives in her skin or something because what she has for Radiohead is a lot more than just ‘like,’” Yiren says.

“No way, I love Radiohead,” Minghao tells you. Holy shit. So Minghao is attractive and nice and smart and pretty much perfect at everything and he enjoys Radiohead? You might go insane.

“Really?” Your eyes are wide with your jaw hanging open, leaning forward in your seat.

You hear Jun groan from the driver’s seat, and both you and Minghao shoot him a dirty look. “I forgot both of you are obsessed with Radiohead. Seriously, could either of you get more emo?”

“If you weren’t driving right now, I’d strangle you,” Minghao says bluntly before looking back at you. “Anyways, what’s your favorite song?”

“Junnie, please, can you put on Creep now? You know I’ve been waiting forever,” you plead, holding your hand out to the microphone that’s in your brother’s hand. The room is dark and lit up with red and blue LEDs across the border, making the room glow purple.

“But I want to sing another round of Taylor Swift!” he protests, pointing at the big screen in front of you while clutching the microphone close to his chest. You scoff, poking his side. “You know I’m not ticklish, so that doesn’t work.”

“You’re not ticklish? How?” Yiren exclaims, looking at Jun with wide eyes.

You turn to squint at her. “He’s weird. I thought we already established this.”

“Hey!” Jun whines. “See this is why you won’t be getting to sing Creep tonight.”

“Jun!” you cry out, and you’re about to pull out a string of complaints and curses, but then Minghao is stepping in, pointing at you.

“Put on Creep. She’s been asking for a while and I want to sing it too,” he says. Jun is quiet for a moment before sighing and handing you the microphone which leads you to puffing up your chest and smiling proudly.

“Thanks,” you chirp gleefully, as Minghao holds his own microphone up to his lips.

When he smiles at you, it’s kind and sincere in such a way that it has your heart swelling under your pretty pink jacket. Minghao coolly points at Yiren who sits by the control tablet. “Creep. Hit it.”

The air inside your house is warm as you skip down the hall and down the stairs. When the bell rang the first time, you thought it was just some package but when you hear it ring twice, you think otherwise.

When you peek through the little peep-hole, you jump up and down on the balls of your feet, a mix of excitement and nerves pools at your stomach. You open the door and Minghao shuffles in front of you at the doorstep. You haven’t seen him in a few weeks, and his hair looks shorter. “Did you cut your hair?” you ask the seventeen year old as you move to the side so he can step in.

“Yeah, it was getting in my eyes too much,” he tells you with a nod, a small puff of vapor coming from his lips. It’s cold, and you hear him inhale a breath of relief when you close the door behind him. “Thought the door was never gonna open. I was freezing my ass off,” he says, unwinding the brown scarf from his neck.

“‘m sorry,” you reply sheepishly as he takes off his shoes, following you through the foyer. “Jun didn’t tell me you were coming so I was in my room. He’s still out with my dad, but he’ll be back soon.”

“That’s fine.” Minghao shrugs off his puffer jacket, placing it on the coat rack while you make your way to the kitchen.

“Do you want a drink? It’s cold outside, so I can make some hot chocolate. Jun got the nice kind from the cafe down the street.”

“That’d be great, thanks,” he says, sitting down at one of the stools in front of the kitchen island as you take out some milk and hot chocolate powder. It’s silent, and you chew your lip while thinking about how this is the first time in a really long time that you and Minghao have been alone together.

Nearing the end of his twelfth year in high school and just like the first time you met him, he’s as enticing as ever. Dancing competitions with Jun, left and right, smart and respectful with the teachers, popular among the students—you're lucky you get to talk to someone as cool as him, even if it is only on the account that you’re his best friend’s little sister.

“How’s high school?” he asks casually as you boil some milk over the stove.

“It’s alright … English is still hard as ever,” you admit, dropping the powder into the frothing milk.

Minghao chuckles softly when you turn around to face him, and a small smile makes its way onto your lips. “Yeah, it was never my strong suit either. You still friends with … what’s her name? Sorry, I’m not good with names—the girl who lost her voice at karaoke when she came with us?”

“Yiren?” you giggle softly, recalling the memory. “Yeah. Still friends, still as loud as ever,” you say with a sigh, mixing the milk as it turns light brown. “How are things with you? Jun’s been telling me the dance practices you guys have is pretty intense. He always looks like he could eat a horse when he comes home.”

“That’s good to hear, and yeah, it’s all going good. It is pretty tiring, but it’s a lot of fun,” Minghao replies, stretching his arms behind his back as you pour out the hot chocolate into two mugs, bringing it over. “Thanks,” he murmurs, grabbing from your hand sitting down at your regular spot, one extra chair seated between the two of you as always.

Arm’s length, you think for a moment, before shaking yourself of the thought. “I’m sure the practice is paying off though—seems like Jun is always talking about some new kinda competition or something.”

“Mhm,” Minghao hums, taking a sip of the hot cacao. “This is really good, thank you,” he says with a soft smile, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel some sort of giddiness erupt in your stomach. “I think … I think we can really take it somewhere—our dancing.”

It’s a sparing thought that Minghao and Jun’s dreams are far beyond yours, and you have a bit of a difficult time trying to understand what he means by somewhere and if that somewhere includes you or not.

“You’re going to Korea?” your eyebrows furrow as you glance between Jun and your parents.

“Nothing’s finalized yet—” your mother says, but when Jun’s eyes flicker between you and the ground, you already know that this is set in stone.

“Yes it is.” Your voice is small when the words come out. “You—” you take a deep breath, “—you’re going.”

“Not now, of course,” your dad says, patting your back as he stands up, your mother following suit. “Talk for a few minutes, yeah?” he says as both your parents walk out. When your whole family walked into your room ten minutes earlier to tell you they had big news, you weren’t sure what you were expecting, but it certainly was not this.

And now you’re sitting with your brother on one end of your bed while you’re curled up against your pillows on the other, unable to meet his gaze.

“When are you going?” you ask quietly, finally breaking the silence.

“August.”

“That’s in a month and a half,” your shoulders deflate as you say it. “How long?”

“I don’t know. I’m sorry.” You bury your face in your hands in hopes that it’ll muffle your cries. It doesn’t.

Jun scoots over to you quickly when he sees your shoulders shake, one arm going around your back to pull you close to his body, but you still can’t bring yourself to look at him. “How are you going to do it?” you blubber as your brother pats your back. “You can’t just go to a whole different country alone and—”

“I won’t be alone. Minghao is coming with me,” Jun tells you quickly. Now that brings your head up. You don’t care that your nose is snotty and that your hair is all over the place and that your face burns, you just need to see the look on Jun’s face to see that he isn’t messing with you.

The way his own eyes are glossy gives you your answer. “Y-you both got accepted into tha-that company?”

Jun nods. “We applied together.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were applying? I-I would’ve understood. You could have given me more time to process this and—” You look down at your hands, “Fuck,” you mutter to yourself, not finding the words in your throat.

“We didn’t even know if we would get accepted. Me and Minghao promised each other that we’d only follow through with it if both of us got in and we didn’t think that there’d be a high chance of that because it’s so competitive … I only told Mom and Dad because until we got the acceptances, I really didn’t think it was going to actually happen.” You gulp at his words, trying to let it all sink in.

“I think … I think I just need to go on a walk. Take a breather, y’know,” you mutter under your breath as you stand up. Just as you're about to walk away, you stop yourself, looking back at Jun who stares down at his hands. You don’t think twice before wrapping your arms around his shoulders and hugging him tightly. “I’m really proud of you,” you say quietly before rushing out of your room and down the stairs.

You shove your feet into some slippers in the foyer, rushing out onto the street soon after. You aren’t sure what you’re doing or where you’re headed, but you continue to trudge along the sidewalk until you’re walking down the main road.

The summer air is hot and stuffy, and you wonder if you feel so suffocated because of the sun’s onslaught or because of thoughts that run through your head. It’s surrounding you, breathing it in, it fills your lungs, courses through your veins, rushes to your brain—you don’t know what it is, but it’s uncomfortable and has you dizzy and your vision foggy.

You lean against a thick lamppost next to you, hands on your knees as you knit your eyebrows together as sweat beads down your forehead. What the fuck, you think as you breathe in through your nose.

You hear your own name bounce around in your head, and the sound only grows louder and louder until you’re muttering under your breath, telling yourself to shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. And there are tears in your eyes but you furiously wipe them away because while you don’t mind crying, you do mind crying if you don’t know why.

And fuck, there’s that voice again, your name echoing over and over again until it’s growing lowder and ringing in your ears. You think you might start crying again until the voice sounds familiar and you’re whipping your head up and standing straight when you see a car pull up to the curb next to you.

“Fuck my life,” you mumble to yourself when you see Minghao in the driver’s seat of the car. He rolls down the window and god, he looks so pretty with his hair back and upper body fit into a loose yellow shirt.

“Hey, what are you doing?” he asks you, brows pinched into a concerned expression as he looks at you, face flushed and sheen from sweat.

“I—” You’re about to smile at him and let the giddiness of having your crush talk to you take over, but then the words get caught in your throat when you remember the whole reason you’re out here. “—I’m just going on a walk.”

“In this heat?” He raises a brow at you. “Where to? Let me give you a ride. You don’t look too well.”

“Nowhere really,” you say with a shrug. “Actually, I might just head back home,” you rush out, turning on your heel to walk in the other direction so Minghao can’t pry any further, but he stops you.

“Wait, wait, wait,” he calls out, and you don’t have the willpower to ignore him. “Let me drive you home then. Seriously, you don’t look well—like you look like you’re ‘bout to pass out and shit—so just get in the car, please?” He says the last part with some sort of beggary etched onto his face and you just can’t deny him. Not now, not ever.

Pulling the door open, your limbs feel heavy as you climb into the car, air much cooler and fresher than outside. Leaning your head against the headrest, you let your eyes flutter shut as Minghao starts the car.

“Are you seriously okay? You look—”

“Sick, I know. I look sick,” your grumble, eyes still shut. You wonder if you should tell him Jun just told you everything.

“I’m sorry,” and you can tell from the way his voice doesn’t waver that he means it.

“Jun told me about Korea.”

“Oh.” Yeah, very big oh. “Just now?” You nod. “Is that why you were out here?” You nod again, finally opening your eyes.

“Hey, this isn’t the way to my house.”

Minghao keeps his eyes on the road. “C’mon, let’s get some pop,” he says, ignoring your statement and driving into the parking lot of a convenience store. He unbuckles his seatbelt and hops out his end, not saying a word, and you figure that you have no other choice but to follow.

Any other situation and you’d be grinning about spending some time alone with Minghao, but after hearing Jun tell you that he’s going to be traveling hundreds of miles and flying over borders within the next two months has your stomach churning in a way you don’t like.

You don’t know if you want to spend all the hours of the day with Jun and Minghao, or if you want to crawl up in your bed and pretend they don’t exist so it’ll hurt less when they’re gone. You feel stupid for thinking like this—you know it’s going to hurt either way.

You’re lost in your own thoughts as you walk into the store after Minghao, only snapped back into the present when he says something to you. “Hey, those are your jeans that you wore when we first did karaoke right?’

You blink once and then twice before looking down at your pants. They were those same jeans. “Yeah, how’d you know?” you ask him incredulously, and Minghao chuckles as he reaches into the cooler and pulls out a pink popsicle.

“I remember the flowers and how they matched your pink jacket. It was cute,” he says casually, and you hope he doesn’t catch onto the way your fingers twiddle together nervously and you avert your gaze. “Anyways, you like Cola right?” he clarifies when reaching into the drink fridge near the cooler. You nod shyly, thanking him quietly when he hands you a can.

As you make your way to the cash register, you fish around in your pockets for a few moments hoping you’ll dig up a dollar bill or something but then Minghao’s hand is on your wrist and he shakes his head with a smile.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll cover it.” He turns back so quickly you don’t have time to protest because he’s already sticking his card into the machine, throwing the cashier a thumbs up and walking out the store without a word.

“I could’ve paid for myself, y’know,” you grumble, following behind Minghao, watching to see where he’s headed. You think he’s going to get back into his car, but instead he plops down on the street curb, sitting on the ground. You just look at him for a few moments, contemplating what to do for a few moments before joining his side.

“Yeah, but I wanted to pay for it.”

The sun is bright and it beads down on you relentlessly, but you don’t complain. You both sit in silence as you both tend to your snacks—Minghao tries to lap up his popsicle quickly now that you’re out in the heat and you try to drink as much of your Cola as you can before it grows lukewarm. The air grows thick between you.

You can’t find the right words to say. You suppose there aren’t any right words or any wrong words, and that you can say just about anything right now and it wouldn’t matter.

Glancing at Minghao who takes a lick of his pink popsicle, you feel that uneasy feeling swarm inside of your chest.

You could kiss him right now. You could press your mouth against his sticky lips and lap at the sugar against his tongue. You could hold his face and run your fingers through his hair and cradle the nape of his neck. You could do anything right now and it wouldn’t matter.

Minghao, after all, was leaving.

But you’re scared and Minghao is mature and his dreams are big and he’s brave.

Your eyes linger on his plush lips for no longer than a second before you shamefully look down at the Cola in your hands, suddenly feeling sick to your stomach.

“You’ll remember this place, right? Like—if you get big and famous and stuff, you two won’t forget, right?” you resort to asking. You say ‘this place,’ but really, you mean ‘me.’ You don’t want to be forgotten.

Minghao watches you with his eyes clouded with something you can’t really make out. “Of course we won’t. We’ll remember forever.” Absentmindedly, you trace figure-eights into the top of your can of pop, and Minghao catches the motion.

Using his own finger, he traces the figure of the number eight over the cement of the curb. “See. Like infinity, y’know?”

You purse your lips together and nod, your mind going dizzy. “Can we … can we go?” you mumble softly, gripping the can in your hand. “I think the heat kinda got to me.” It’s not entirely a lie.

Minghao doesn’t question you, polishing off his popsicle and tossing it into the trash before unlocking the door so you can take the silent ride home.

Jun and Minghao flew out two months ago. You went with your family and Minghao’s family to bid goodbyes. It’s not like you wouldn’t see them again—give or take a few months and Jun would be back at home, but he’d have to leave again. And again. And again.

It’s sad, you think, as you slump against Yiren on some random person’s couch. You miss them so much, but when you think about Jun and Minghao, all you can see is the hard work they’ve put into going where they’re headed.

You feel selfish as you bring a cup up to your lips. You feel pathetic and lame and if you weren’t already drunk, you’d be wallowing in self pity as well. The alcohol tastes just as bitter as your feelings, and while you wince when you gulp it down, you don’t hesitate to let some more run down your throat.

Yiren watches you worriedly when you clutch her arm and shut your eyes tight. “I miss them,” you whisper, and she doesn’t know if you’re talking to her or to yourself. She strokes your hair and coos to you about taking you to lie down somewhere.

Your head spins as she helps you stand, letting the cup fall to the ground, not bothering to pick it up. Yiren pulls you into an empty bedroom and sits you on the bed. “Drink this,” she instructs, handing you a bottle of water.

“Yiren, I miss them,” you repeat yourself.

“I know, I know you do. Do you want to go home? I’ll drive you and—”

“No, you go have fun. I just need to sit down for a sec,” you tell her, letting your back fall onto the mattress. Yiren gives you a warning look, but you shoo her off. “Trust me, I’ll be fine. I’ll call you if I need anything.” She looks like she wants to protest, but you both know you’re on a one track mind right now.

“Please don’t do anything stupid,” Yiren begs as she walks away and closes the door behind her. You’re still dizzy, but not nearly as bad as before. Sitting up, you glance around the room. It’s simple—probably a guest room in whoever’s house this is. Also probably why the door was unlocked in the first place.

You feel you might pass out until your eyes land on an open notebook on a table in the corner of the room. You don’t think twice before standing up and ripping a sheet out, scrambling for a pen.

DEAR MINGHAO

I’m drunk right now. I miss you and I miss Jun. I hope when you guys come back again, we can go to that karaoke place again and sing to Radiohead. I’ve expanded my taste you know—my favorite song is Fake Plastic Trees now, and I even got a record player just so I could play the vinyl for it. Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.

When you come back, we should really go there again. Yiren’s been getting really tired of me singing Creep every time, so I need a new duo partner. And she’s leaving too, so there’s that.

I really want to kiss you right now, but you’re in Korea.

I miss Jun a lot too. I think I hate you for it. He’s my brother but somehow you get to see him more and talk to him more and be with him more. Sometimes I call him and it’s for less than five minutes and I hear your voice in the background and I don’t know if I want to listen to you speak forever or strangle you so you can never talk again. I get that Jun is busy, and that you’re busy, but you guys get to be busy together.

Yiren told me she’s probably going to go to college out of the country next year. I’m going to miss her like hell. I think I already miss her, and so I drag her to karaoke with me so she won’t ever forget about me and Radiohead and how garbage I am at singing Creep.

Jun says he’s going to come visit home in two months, and that you might come along. I didn’t know home was a place you only visit, but I guess being an idol changes you. I probably sound super bitter right now. I’m not. Maybe I’m upset that you guys are gone, but I really am happy for you.Jun is happy, and you’re happy, and I’m so happy you have each other.

It’s hard to focus on your exam—halfway through your degree and you still get the jitters every time you step into the testing hall. It’s probably the nerves. And the caffeine. And the fact that you’ll be seeing your brother and Minghao in three hours.

It’s mainly the third that has your leg bouncing up and down on the balls of your feet as you jot down your answers. The exam takes longer than you’d like to finish, but as soon as you’ve finished the final question, you’re bolting out of the large room and toward the parking lot.

Connecting your phone to your car, you call Jun as you back out of the parking spot. “Hey, you guys at the airport?” you ask when you hear him pick up.

“Yeah, we’re just getting out right now but there’s kind of a crowd so it might take a while to just get to the car.”

“I forgot you guys are, like, famous,” you mutter jokingly. “Where’re you headed first? Minghao’s place first?”

“Yeah probably. He’s gonna see his parents and stuff first and then I’ll go to Mom and Dad’s house, so you can just come there.”

“Okay … we’re still good for our dinner plans, right?”

“Yeah, actually I was wondering if Minghao could tag along,” Jun says, and you can hear some muffled shouting from the other side.

“Oh okay, yeah su—”

“Hey, look, there’s a lot of people here and I can’t hear much so just text me your response and I’ll get to you in a second,” Jun tells you quickly as the shouting grows louder. He hangs up soon after and you sigh heavily as you start driving to your parents house.

The ride is quiet but you’re happy to be met with gleeful parents when you get to their place. You’re all a bit spirited at the prospect of Jun coming home, so when you hear the old ringing of the door bell, you’re bolting to the door and swinging it open, jumping into his arms.

“What happened to ‘hi,’ ‘hello,’ ‘how are you?’” Jun teases as he hugs you close, awkwardly trying to shuffle into the house. You poke your tongue out at him when you finally unwind your arms from around him.

“Hi. Hello. How are you? You seem obnoxious, as always,” you shoot back, and Jun only grins, pinching your cheek tightly.

“Oh how I missed my little insane sister,” he says before moving onto your parents, enveloping them in hugs as you all begin to settle down in the living room. The four of you spend a few hours catching up with Jun before he excuses himself to freshen up so he can get ready for your plans for the evening.

When he comes back all ready, you’re pulling out your keys from your purse and waving bye to your parents, promising them you’ll stop by the next morning as you and your brother make your way to the door.

“See you later!” Jun calls out before closing the front door behind him and following you to your car. Minghao’s house is close by, no more than a five minute drive, and it’s quiet as you take the familiar roads through the town to get there.

“Should we go in?” you ask when you park in Minghao’s driveway. “You haven’t seen his parents in a while, have you?”

“Oh yeah, you’re right. C’mon, let’s go.” You both slip out of the car and make your way to the front door. Minghao’s mother opens the door and you spend a few minutes exchanging greetings and catching up before Minghao is stepping out, clad in some black jeans and a grey hoodie.

He smiles when he sees you, pulling you into a hug, giving you a chance to feel the slightly damp hair against your cheek and the woody smell that always reminds you of him. “Hey, how’s it been?” he asks when he pulls away.

“I-I’m good,” you say shyly.

“Let’s talk more in the car, yeah?” Jun suggests, turning back to Minghao’s parents to give them a hug before you all wave your goodbyes and get into your car.

“Where’re we headed?” Jun asks, as you back out of the driveway. Jun sits in the passenger seat while Minghao slips into the back.

“It’s this new place—opened just a few months ago so I doubt you’d have gone there yet,” you tell him as you start driving.

“Is it the place next to the cafe?” Minghao asks you, and you nod excitedly.

“Yeah … how’d you know?”

“My mom told me about it, and said I should try it out. I guess now’s my chance, huh.”

“Yeah! It’s really good, I hope you both like it,” you say, reaching over to the AUX controls to flick on one of your playlists. “Okay guys … are you ready?” you warn, watching Minghao’s eyes brighten through the mirror.

“Oh my god, don’t tell me you guys are going to sign Creep again—” Jun starts to groan, but you reach over and press a finger over his lips to shut him up.

“Quiet,” Minghao hisses to his friend, scooting forward in his seat so you’re in his view, placing his hands under your headrest. His fingers brush against the back of your neck and you’re scared you might crash the car from the way his touch makes you shiver. Fuck, more than half a damn decade and you still can’t fight it off. “Turn it up,” he instructs from behind, and you can only grin as you reach over and pump up the volume.

The deep rumble of snare and guitar echoes through the car as the song starts and you already feel your heart begin to swell in your chest. So when the first lines of, ‘when you were here before,’ leave your lips, you aren’t sure if you feel your heart mending itself, or if it’s salt being poured on the wound.

Because from behind you is Minghao’s voice, so deep and velvety and angelic it has you almost in a trance. He’s been good at singing, always, but now his voice sounds … mature, and developed and … and you love it.

You think back to the first time you sang Creep with him, and the lyrics already have you reminiscing when you both sing, ‘couldn’t look you in the eye,’ because goddammit you still struggle to look at Minghao for too long because you’re scared you’ll get lost.

And when it gets to the part before the bass is blaring in your ears, Minghao and you are singing, ‘I wish I was special, you’re so fuckin’ special,’ at the top of your lungs and you can’t help but let the irony sink in.

Now you’re pretty sure when Thom wrote Creep, he didn’t mean it to be about your love life, especially not the non-existent one between you and your brother’s best friend, but Thom is speaking to you right now, and you wonder if Minghao can hear the way you’re singing from your heart. How you’re singing for him.

When the song comes to an end, Minghao’s fingers brush over the nape of your neck one last time before he retreats back into his seat. You try to not mull on the feeling any longer, shaking your head of all of those thoughts when you near the restaurant.

“Here it is!” you chirp, parking the car on the curb. The three of you shuffle out of the car casually, making your way to the entrance.

“Looks nice,” Minghao comments as he opens the door for you and Jun. Your brother hops in merrily and you and Minghao both share a soft smile as you go inside too, your body nearly jerking when you feel his hand on the small of your back as he follows behind you.

His touch is warm and gentle and—fuck, does he know what he’s doing to you right now?

You’re more relieved than anything when he finally lets his arm drop, the three of you making your way to the table you booked. You were scared that if Minghao stayed close any longer, he’d be able to feel your heart beating through your chest.

You guys sit down at the table, Jun next to you while Minghao settles across the two of you. “So how’s your classes going?” he asks you as you look through the menu. “Jun said you had an exam today, right?”

“Yeah, it was my final one,” you tell him with a sigh of relief. “It was stressful preparing for it but it went better than I thought.”

“Good to hear,” Minghao says as a waiter comes along to pick up on your orders. After he leaves, Jun turns to you.

“What’s Yiren up to?” Jun asks you curiously. “Haven’t seen that girl in ages.”

“She’s, uh, she’s good,” you reply. “I haven’t seen her in a while either … she went off to college in Korea, remember?”

Minghao chuckles, “Seems like everyone’s going there, huh? Maybe you should pull up too.”

You scrunch up your face and shake your head while you take a sip of water. “I think I like this place too much to leave. Plus, who’s going to take care of our old folks if I leave too?” you tease, nudging your brother in the side.

“Mom and Dad can take care of themselves just fine,” Jun shrugs, ruffling your hair as the waiter brings along some food.

“Looks good,” Minghao says, holding up some chopsticks as you all look down at the sizzling dishes in front of you.

“It is! See?” you say pointedly, looking up at Jun. “Imagine I moved to Korea—I wouldn’t be able to eat this.” Your brother only rolls his eyes and Minghao and you laugh together while you dig in.

As you work through your meal and catch each other up on your lives, Minghao eventually leans back in his seat and sighs heavily. “I’m really craving something sweet right now.”

“I’d say we should pick up some pastries from the cafe next door but they closed two hours ago,” you say sadly.

“Oh shit, I forgot about that place. They made the best chocolate buns ever,” Jun mutters to himself, polishing off his plate.

“Let’s go to the cafe tomorrow evening, yeah?” Minghao suggests as he takes a sip of water. At the suggestion, you chew at your lip.

“Uh, I don’t think I can go then,” you say, hoping they won’t pry any further.

Of course, your brother doesn’t allow you a second of peace. “Why not? Your last exam was today, right?”

“Yeah, but I have stuff to do,” you reply nonchalantly. Jun scoffs and tugs your ear, causing you to whine. “What was that for?!”

“You didn’t clear your schedule out for me? I thought you missed me! You know I have to leave in like a week,” he complains, and you and Minghao share an amused look as you nudge Jun on the side.

“Relax, you can have me in the morning and afternoon and everything … I just have to go somewhere for the evening.”

“You’re being really ominous about this, you know,” Jun retorts, crossing his arms over his chest. “Where’re you going?”

You chew on your tongue, contemplating if this is the right moment to bring it up, or if you should even tell Jun and Minghao this at all. “I just have to see someone.”

“Oh my god, shut up,” Jun groans. “You’re literally asking me to pry. Tell me who—a boyfriend?” You chuckle nervously, eyes flickering between Minghao and your brother, shaking your head.

“No—not a boyfriend,” you say dryly, scoffing at the irony. “Remember Renjun? I told you about him when I was in freshman year.”

“Vaguely. Remind me who he is again?”

“He’s just a guy, and he has some of my stuff I need to pick up.” Both Minghao and Jun cock an eyebrow at you after that. “What?” you huff, leaning back in your seat.

“An ex?” Minghao asks and your face burns.

“I—yeah,” you say casually. “An ex.”

Jun frowns deeply. “I didn’t know you and Renjun ever dated. I didn’t even know you ever had a boyfriend,” he says, voice evidently upset that he was left out of this.

“It wasn’t that serious,” you pat his shoulder as to soften the blow. “Plus it happened when you were on tour—we hardly talked then.”

“Still! You could’ve told me!” You bite back a, ‘But could I really?’ because this isn’t the time or place for that.

“It’s whatever. I just need to pick up some stuff I left at his place and—”

“So it ended pretty recently then?” Minghao piques, and your eyebrows furrow, slightly annoyed by both of their belated interest in your love life.

“What, no! It’s been months and—wait, I don’t see how that’s any of your guys’ business,” you huff and Minghao backs off a little, but Jun still stays curiously leaning in.

“Whatever. You’ll be available to come with us to the lake on Friday though, right?” Jun asks, pulling out his phone and holding it up to your face to show you a picture of a lake house. “I booked a place to stay the night and all.”

“Of course I’m going to come—I’ve been looking forward to it!”

“Good,” Jun says gruffly, still somewhat glaring at you.

You give him a funny look. “What?”

“I’m still mad you never told me—you’re supposed to tell me this stuff! How else am I supposed to know that you’re doing fine on your own and actually growing up.”

“Oh my god, Jun, I’m an adult! Did you think I would never have boyfriends?”

“No! At least not without telling me!”

You chuckle and Minghao follows in suit, enjoying the little sibling bicker. “Okay fine. I’m sure I’ll be telling you every detail of my love life when it gets resurrected.”

Minghao snorts at your use of words, and you revel in the way the sound makes you feel. Fuck it, it’s been more than half a decade and you still get butterflies—you can’t fight away the feeling, so you might as well wallow in it.

You wonder what Jun would think about this—your love life being pulled and shaken by his own best friend. Oh well, some secrets are best kept hidden anyways.

“Here’s your stuff,” Renjun says softly, handing you a paper bag that’s stuffed with a wide array of your belongings.

“Thank you. Is my pink jacket in there? I’ve been looking for it for a while and I didn’t know if I left it at yours,” you ask timidly, holding the paper bag close to your chest.

He scratches the back of his head as he steps back, nodding. “Uh, yeah I think it’s at the bottom.” You peer down at the contents of your back, and give a half smile when you see the pink cloth peeking out from underneath.

“Thanks for taking care of my stuff. I know you’ve basically moved out and all.”

“No worries. Do you, uh, need a ride home or anything? It’s pretty cold.”

You purse your lips at the offer, but shake your head. “It’s fine …” There’s an awkward silence and you quickly wonder if you should say anything more. Renjun looks awfully … apologetic right now and you feel there’s some more you can say. “How’s your new place? Have you seen it?”

“Yeah, I flew up there a few weeks back to get some of my main stuff shipped. A nice apartment, way bigger than whatever I had here,” he says with an awkward chuckle. You appreciate the effort.

Nodding, you tighten your grip on the bag. “That’s good to hear. I hope it all goes well with you. I … I think I’ll be taking my leave now. My brother’s back in town so …”

“Oh yeah, I heard from Jianing. Hope you’re having a good time—I know you haven’t seen him in ages.”

“Thank you. Anyways, I’m gonna get going now. Thanks again,” you say as you step back, throwing out a small wave.

A half-hearted, “See you,” leaves Renjun’s lips as you turn on your heel and start walking back to the bus station. There’s no promise of seeing Renjun later, or ever again, and something cold sinks in your stomach at the thought.

The thought that this all could’ve been avoided if Renjun hadn’t gotten that stupid job offer hundreds of miles away. If he didn’t decide to pack his bags and fly away just like Jun, like Yiren, like Minghao. Renjun was leaving, just like everyone else.

You clutch the paper bag close to your chest as you make your way to the bus stop, one hand fumbling in the pocket of your jacket as you search for your wallet and within seconds you’re a frantic mess. “Shit,” you mutter under your breath. “Shit, shit, shit!” you cry out when you drop your bag and pat frantically over your pockets to try and feel for your wallet.

Your digging into every crook of the coat and there’s a growing feeling of dread that washes over you once you realize that you lost your fucking wallet. Hands clenched at your side, you feel hot tears well up in your lash line as you stare down at the ground, letting in the shitty events of today sink in.

You don’t even know why you’re crying now. It’s hardly even cries, really, you’re downright sobbing as you plop down on the curb of the empty street, fumbling with your phone as you pull up Jun’s contact. Pressing the phone to your ear, you shut your eyes tight in an attempt to calm down your breath, but when you hear the line go dead you cry even harder, realizing that Jun is probably napping right now.

“Fuck my life,” you complain to yourself, letting your head hang low as you scroll through your phone. You aren’t even sure what compels you to click on him but before you know it you’re on speaker as you hear the buzzing of the phone as you wait for Minghao to pick up.

One ring. Maybe he’s busy.

Two rings. He might be looking for his phone.

Three rings. He probably won’t pick up.

Four rings, and you’re about to hang up but then it stops. “Minghao?”

Minghao’s voice is cool and calm when he says your name. “Do you—”

“I need your help,” you say so quietly you aren’t sure if he’ll be able to hear it. And then Minghao hears it: your soft pants and shaky breath and something about the sound has him squeezing his phone tightly.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m—” No, I feel like shit and I’m freezing my ass off and it’s so cold and I need you to help me. “Can you pick me up? I lost my wallet which has my bus card. I’m sorry, I know it’s a little late and you’re probably busy but—”

“Send me your location.”

Minghao is pulling up in his black car within twenty minutes and by then you’ve had enough time to wipe the tears from your face and piece together yourself to look presentable. Rolling down the windows as you wave over to his car, you hear the doors click and you’re roughly yanking on the door and throwing your stuff and yourself in.

Minghao raises a brow at your ruckus, asking once again, “Are you okay?” When you only sigh heavily, buckling yourself up, you hope Minghao will just leave it alone. You’d rather not talk about the stupid breakdown you just had in front of your childhood crush.

Minghao clearly doesn’t get the message, so when he starts the engine again, he murmurs, “Have you been crying?” You purse your lips together tightly as if the question itself as the tears bubbling up to the surface once again. “Did meeting with Renjun not go well?” You’re surprised he remembers his name—Minghao was never great with names. “Can you say something? I’m worried.”

“Sorry,” you say softly, letting your shoulder drop down, and from the corner of your vision you see Minghao watching you carefully. “I-I just got overwhelmed. And it was cold. Really cold. And then—” You take a shaky breath. “—and I lost my fucking wallet on top of it and it’s all so shitty and—”

His hand is on your shoulder and you hardly realize that Minghao has pulled over and parked so he can turn to face you. You’re crying again and you don’t even know how this fucking happened, all you know is that there’s so much going on in your head and Minghao is right there, he’s so close but then again, he’s so far.

“Hey, hey calm down for a sec’,” he says calmly, gripping your arm firmly. “Breathe slowly, and tell me what happened.”

You inhale sharply through your nose and scrunch your face up as you bury your head in your hands. In your right mind, you wouldn’t even think about telling Minghao about what’s on your mind but it’s been a really terrible past hour and you can’t control yourself.

“Renjun’s leaving. Didn’t want to do long distance and so he’s gone and—fuck, I don’t even blame him but why’d he have to leave,” you ramble, tears streaming down your flushed cheeks as Minghao pats your back gently.

“Did he say something to you when you met with him?” he asked, tone laced with concern. “I’m sorry, I’m just—are you o—okay please don’t cry.”

You don’t know why, but Minghao telling you to cry only makes the tears fall faster. “And Yiren—” you hiccup, “Yiren left too, I haven’t seen her in months and Jun a-a-and you—you’ve all been gone.” You don’t realize when Minghao grabs both your shoulders and forces you to face him completely.

“Slow down, please. No one’s left you, we’re all going to be here for you, you know that. Did Renjun say something which made you think like this?” he asks, the grip on your shaking shoulders growing tighter as you desperately try to steady yourself.

“N-no, but you’re not here. I hardly ever get to see my own brother and Yiren and you and Renjun and everything is so shitty I just—” you cry out and suddenly you stumble forward in the seat and before you know it Minghao’s arms are around you.

It’s not like you haven’t hugged him before but this is the first time you’re blubbering into his shoulder about your feelings, and if you weren’t so sad, you’d be fucking appalled. His warm hand is on your back, rubbing up and down slowly until you’ve finally found the conscience to actually breathe and realize just what’s going on.

Slowly, you pull away from Minghao’s hold, furiously wiping away at your face to dry yourself, looking down at your lap bashfully. “I am so sorry, what the fuck, I-I don’t know what came over me,” you blurt out when Minghao drops his hands from your shoulder. You miss the warmth, but you’re quite very embarrassed with yourself and don’t have the will to chase after his touch.

“Please don’t apologize,” Minghao replies softly, watching you with wide eyes. “That … was a lot and—”

“I’m sorry, look, I was just having a shitty day and it all piled up and you just—I don’t know I guess, let’s just pretend this never happened,” you beg with him. Minghao’s face looks like he wants to say more, but you really can’t tell with the way his eyes are clouded.

“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me.”

You gulp at the irony. No, you really can’t. You can’t tell Minghao anything, really, because even after crying and sobbing and wailing in his car he still looks at you with so much care and it has these stupid fucking butterflies erupting in your stomach like you’re fifiteen with a massive crush on your brother’s best friend.

“Can you just please drive me to my place?” you ask, looking up at him with pleading eyes. “I think I just really need to sleep.”

You can tell Minghao still has questions, but you don’t seem too willing to answer them so he doesn’t say anything when he nods and turns back to the road. The ride is silent, and when he finally parks he pats your shoulder.

You look out the window and furrow your eyebrows. “This isn’t my apartment complex …” you tell him, confused as you see a convenience store in front of you. The same one.

“C’mon, I know you love pop,” he says casually, unbuckling his seatbelt leaving you with no other choice to follow behind him. There’s an odd sense of deja vu that envelopes over you, shoving your pockets into your jacket shyly.

“Remember the last time we were here?” Minghao asks with a chuckle as you guys walk into the store.

“Don’t remind me,” you murmur. “That was a shitty day.”

Minghao gives you a nervous smile as he pulls out a can from the fridge and hands it to you, grabbing his own bottle as well. “Yeah, but Cola made it better, right?”

“I guess it did. Cola always makes things better,” you admit. “Hey, fuck you,” you say jokingly when Minghao pulls out his wallet. “You should’ve taken me here another time when I actually had my wallet—I need to pay you back for that day!” you whine with a pout. “Now I’m in debt to you twice! You’ve bought me two Colas!”

Minghao rolls his eyes playfully as he pays for the drinks. “Yeah well things are different now, and I’m pretty sure my wallet doesn’t care about the cost of two Colas.”

“Is Mr. Big and Famous too good for my money now?” you huff when you step back outside, opening your Cola. “I will pay you back, no matter how stupidly rich you get.”

“I’ll have to hold you to that,” Minghao laughs as you slip back into his car. The air is lighter as he drives you back to your place for real this time, and the lingering feeling of pop on your tongue is sweet and fun.

“Thank you for the ride. And the Cola,” you add when he’s in front of your building.

“You remember what I said?”

You nod as you step out of the car, picking up your brown bag. “Thank you so much for this. I’m sorry again.”

“Stop apologizing. Is there … is there anything else I can do? You want another Cola perhaps?”

“Very funny, but I don’t think I want to be jumping off the walls tonight …” you answer, closing the door but still peering through the open window. You think for a second as you chew your lip, nodding when you come up with something. “But do me a favor … don’t tell Jun.”

Jun takes you out to the lake house he booked three mornings after you met with Renjun and sobbed to Minghao in his car. It’s a refreshing turn of events, if you’re being honest, and you’re eager to sink into a relaxing weekend after a stressful exam season.

Your brother drives the three hours on the way with the promise of you driving on the way home hung over your head. When you reach the house—a medium sized cabin perched right by the lake and surrounded by trees and mountains—you’re greeted with the sight of Minghao sitting in his car and scrolling on his phone.

As you and Jun pile out of the car and grab your bags, Minghao comes out too, walking toward you with his hands stuffed in his pockets. “Thought you guys would never come. If you were gonna be late you should’ve just given me the keys to this place,” he says with a huff.

“Don’t blame me,” Jun shrugs, locking the car after you’ve both taken out your stuff, walking up to the cabin’s entrance. “She’s the one who wanted to stop and buy some pop.”

“Don’t act like you didn’t want it either,” you retort, reaching into your tote bag to hand Minghao a can of Cola. “Here,” you offer with a smile which he returns gleefully.

“Okay actually, totally valid reason,” Minghao says, flicking open the can before taking a sip.

“Hey! Don’t be on her side,” Jun whines as he opens up the cabin. Minghao and you chuckle together, your heart warming at the sound as you three start to load your things into the house. Minghao doesn’t say anything about that night when he picked you up, and for that much you’re grateful. This much, you can manage.

By the time you all have settled your things into your respective rooms it’s noon and the sun pummels down with admirable strength. As you stick your head out of your room, you catch Jun making his way down the hallway toward the bathroom.

“You going for a swim?” you ask, gesturing down to your swimsuit that you’ve already eagerly put on.

“Nah, I’m gonna go later. I need to take a call right now,” he says with a sigh and you nod, about to retreat back to your room before Minghao walks out of his own room.

“I’ll go if you’re going,” Minghao tells you casually, and you don’t waste a second to nod. “Give me five so I can get changed and then we can go out.”

You jump down the hall excitedly after he closes the door behind him, making your way to the backyard porch which leads into a deck over the lake. As you place your towel on one of the chairs outside, you hear the sliding door open.

Minghao walks out shirtless, lower half only covered with his swim trunks as he runs a hand through his shaggy hair, shaking his head lightly as he makes his way towards you, placing his towel next to yours. “Thanks for waiting … shit, it’s hot as hell,” he murmurs, and you’re thankful that you’re facing away from him right now—you aren’t sure you’d be able to handle the proximity and the sight of his bare upper body.

“Yeah,” you agree, finally straightening your back and putting some distance between the two of you when you start walking towards the edge of the deck. “The water’s so clear,” you think out loud, looking down at the blue lake in front of you.

“It’s really pretty … you want a picture?” Minghao suggests, walking up behind you.

“I would, but I left my phone inside.”

“Let’s just take it on my phone,” he says casually, holding up his phone in front of you, waving at you to step back a little so he can take a picture. “A candid one would look pretty with this view—like you’re looking out at the lake and stuff,” he begins to say, placing a smooth hand on your shoulder so he can manually turn you around so that you’re facing away from him.

When he lets his hand drop, it brushes over the curve of your hip and you have to bite down on your lip to stop the pathetic whimper that threatens to escape your lips. Luckily, Minghao can’t see the pained expression that makes its way onto your face as he steps back holding up his phone.

“Okay ready …” he calls out from further behind. “Three … two … one!” You hear a faint tapping sound as you still, letting Minghao take the pictures as you wait patiently. It takes a few moments, and you’re about to ask him how much longer he’s going to go at it before you hear the sound of something being dropped, and then a few rattling thuds.

“Minghao, what—” you begin to question as you slowly turn on your heel but by then it’s too late. “WHAT THE F—”

Your scream is cut off short when Minghao runs forward and lunges at you, one arm wrapping itself around your waist as he jumps into the water, bringing you down with him. The cool water of the lake hits your body and the wind gets punched out of your lungs as you feel your limbs entangle with his. Instinctevely, your arms tighten around one of his as your eyes press closed tightly as you feel your warm body start to level with the temperature around you.

And so even as your legs kick around for a few panicked moments, you begin to feel oddly at peace when your head finally reaches the surface of the water, Minghao’s hand still steady over your hips as you gasp for air.

“You’re a bitch for that,” you say, a few choked giggles escaping your lips as you do. Minghao finally unwinds his arm from yours, and while you miss the contact, his body is still dangerously close to yours, and you figure that that is already more than you can manage.

Minghao smiles gleefully, pushing his face so close that it’s right up in front of you. “Mm maybe, but it was really funny. Got it on video too.”

“What?!” you screech, swimming backward so quickly that you hit  your head on the wooden platform of the deck. “Crap!” you exclaim, hand immediately flying up to press against the throbbing crown of your head. Minghao’s eyes widen with concern as he wades his way towards you, tall enough to still have his feet touch the lake bottom unlike you.

“Shit, I’m sorry, are you okay?” he asks worriedly, his own hand coming up to feel the back of your head. His eyes are big and brown as he looks down at you, and for this moment, you forget about the dull ache and bask in the way the sun hits his skin so perfectly he glows.

“I’m fine!” you squeak quickly, letting your hand drop so you can tread in the water lightly, slowly moving a safe distance away from the deck.

“A-are you sure?” he probes, making his way to you, and you have a moment to admire him from afar—the way his hair is matted against his forehead and water drops gather at his lashes, making his eyes look prettier than ever.

You chuckle at the way his lips are pursed together apologetically, and you splash some water at him to lighten the mood. “Yes, Minghao, I’m great. I hardly hit myself.” Minghao’s face looks uneasy, and you laugh again.

It takes a few more minutes of you trying to convince him that you’re totally fine before he finally lets it go. Eventually, you find yourself on a big inflated duck-shaped floaty, laying down with your face up and eyes closed. You lose track of time, enjoying the white noise of Minghao splashing around in the water around you, drifting off into a hazy state until you hear a loud yell and feel yourself being flipped over and off your floaty.

“Jun!” you whine, rubbing your eyes as you furiously push hair off your face when you resurface, glaring at both Jun and Minghao laugh side by side. “You guys have to stop doing this to me,” you groan, eyes finally adjusting to its normal state.

“What are you talking about?” Jun asks innocently as you make your way over to the two of them, not bothering to turn your duck floatie back up right. “It was just an accident I fell on you—hey!” he yells out when you lunge at him. Minghao steps back quickly as you and Jun waddle and fight in the water, splashing water at each other while you try and get your revenge.

“Okay! Okay! I’m sorry,” Jun admits with a pout. “You didn’t do this to Minghao after he dunked you in the water,” he complains as you release him.

You narrow your eyes. “How do you know about that?”

“He sent me the video.”

“Minghao!” you exclaim, turning to the boy who is now treading around a meter in front of you. He only shrugs and grins cheekily.

“It was really funny,” Jun tells you with a laugh. “I might just post it on my story.”

“Oh my god, don’t you dare.”

Jun only shakes his head and starts slowly swimming further into the lake. “Don’t worry—I wouldn’t do that. Minghao can’t have any dating rumors, now can he?”

You chew on your lip, not responding. Minghao doesn’t say anything either, only chuckling along with your brother as he follows after him. You aren’t sure what to say to that, and the comment leaves some uneasy feeling hanging in your stomach.

Fuck, maybe you did hit your head hard.

You three spend a good few hours out in the lake until it’s evening. It’s a slow day and you start to realize just how much you missed spending time with your brother and Minghao like this—it isn’t often they get the opportunity to do things like this, so you’re grateful that they decided to share some of their few days of peace with you.

The second day is even hotter than the first, and you wake from your sleep early in the morning when the sky is still blooming with purple and orange hues. Crawling out from your bed, you make your way downstairs. If it was just you and your brother, you wouldn’t be so mindful about keeping your noise levels down because god knows that Jun can sleep through just about anything, but, Minghao is with you guys now, and you’d hate to sour his experience even just a little by accidentally waking him up for being too loud.

So you can imagine your surprise when you walk into the kitchen to see Minghao already leaning against the counter as he scrolls through his phone. He hasn’t noticed you and you contemplate leaving it like that for a few moments.

He’s wearing a tight fit, black, sleeveless top that shows off the curve of his shoulders and lets the sparkle of his silver chain glint under the morning light. Minghao is attractive—you and the millions of people in his comments know that—and you feel an odd sense of pride well up in your stomach that you’re one of the few people who get to see him like this.

With his hair messy and brushing over his eyes, legs crossed over each other as he presses his body weight against the kitchen island, bare skin glowing from the natural light, he’s beautiful.

Your face heats up when you realize you’ve just been staring at him, so you quickly clear your throat. “Good morning,” you chirp, walking into the kitchen so he can finally see you.

Minghao looks up from his phone, tucking it into the pocket of his sweatpants to greet you with a smile. “Hey, I didn’t know you were up. How’s your head doing?” he asks shyly, walking over to casually run his hand over that same spot on the crown of your head.

It’s an oddly intimate gesture, and if you didn’t know any better, your heart might have given out from the way he was touching you. Still, you know he’s just checking to see if it’s swollen, but your heart flutters anyways.

“I-it’s fine,” you reply, opening the fridge to pull out some orange juice as his hand drops. “I didn’t know you were an early riser. Jun always sleeps in whenever he gets the chance.”

“Yeah, well that’s why he’s paged as a literal cat by everyone,” Minghao says with a chuckle as you place a jug on the counter. “Do you want some tea? I’m just boiling the water now so I can add some more if you want.”

“Sure, that’ll be nice.” You pour yourself some orange juice. “Do you want to eat something? I brought some cupcakes to have for breakfast,��� you offer, reaching into one of the bags you didn’t unpack to pull out a box.

“Are they those cupcakes?”

“Yup—the one and only!” you exclaim, opening the lid to show him. Minghao grins, pulling two out.

“God, I missed these. Y’know, Jun actually gave your recipe to Mingyu too, but he just doesn’t make them the same,” Minghao tells you, and your eyes light up.

“Really? Poor Mingyu,” you say with a sigh.

“If you ever end up visiting us in Korea, you should really make some,” Minghao suggests as he goes to take care of the boiling water, dropping some tea leaves into it before moving the water into a pot. Then, pulling out two small cups and plates, he says, “Me and Jun have told the others about how good you make them, but they really need to try them.”

“I’d love to,” you say with a grin, giddy with the way Minghao is boosting your ego. As he pours out the tea into two mugs, you put the cupcakes on the small plates, looking out to the glass sliding door which leads to the porch by the lake. “You want to eat outside? The sky looks really beautiful now, and the weather looks like it’s nice too.”

Minghao nods, holding up the two mugs while you grab the plates and follow him outside and onto the little shaded porch where you sit by two of the chairs and the small, knee level coffee table. The sky is still deep in its changing colors, and you pull out your phone to take some pictures.

“Can you take some pictures of me? For my WeVerse and Instagram and stuff?” he asks when you’re done, holding out his phone in your direction.

“Yeah, of course.” Leaning back after you grab his phone, you position yourself as Minghao poses. “Lean back a little more so the background can—yeah, perfect …” You take a few photos, and Minghao nods happily when you show him.

“Can you take some more candid ones?”

“Sure, let’s switch spots. I think it’ll look nicer if it looks like you’re looking out to the lake from here,” you suggest, getting up from your seat. Minghao complies without protest and you spend a few more minutes taking some pictures before finally handing him the phone. “You like them?”

“Hell yeah I do,” he says, looking through his phone. “You’re great at this,” he compliments sincerely.

“I’m used to taking the kinda pictures you guys like now … Jun has trained me well,” you joke, sitting back in the seat and reaching for your own cup of tea. It’s quiet for a few moments as you both relax and watch the sky grow brighter by the minute.

Jun wakes up an hour later, trudging out his room with groggy eyes as you poke fun of him. The morning is slow for a short while after that before Minghao is reminding you all that you need to start heading back home. The two of them are leaving for Korea in two days, after all, and that leaves them with only today and tomorrow to completely bask in themselves and the rest of their family, so you pack your things and end your stay at the cabin before the clock hits noon.

That night, after you drive yourself and Jun home and you retreat to the comfort of your apartment, you flop down onto your couch and pull out your phone. You’re met with a few notifications from WeVerse and Instagram, casually scrolling through the apps when your eyes catch a few familiar pictures.

It’s on Instagram and you recognize the bright orange of the rising sky that sits behind Minghao who is smiling into the camera. The next picture is a candid one of him looking at the lake while he drinks some tea, and the third is a picture of the cupcake you made.

You grin at the picture—the rest of the world won’t know it, but you definitely do—it’s a little piece of you that Minghao is sharing with the world. Though, you aren’t sure if he put as much thought into it as you are right now.

Brushing it off as Minghao just wanting to share a pretty picture of a nice looking cupcake, you purse your lips together only for them to be parted when you read his caption.

i’m a weirdo

Scrolling through the comments, you come across people saying, many among the following:

ur not a weirdo >:c fellow radiohead fanatic i see is the8 a certified creep? o: i didn’t know minghao liked radiohead … another reason to stan!

As you ignore the increased palpitating of your heart at the idea that Minghao quoted a line from, in your opinion, “your guys’ song.” you sit and think for a moment about what to do. You consider just liking the post and scrolling past it before a funny thought crosses your mind, and so you start typing into the comments.

i wonder who took these pics lol

No one’s going to see it. Minghao is definitely not going to see it, but you giggle to yourself anyways. You’re about to put your phone down when you get a notification of a reply to your comment. Curious, you open it up, and see that it’s just a random person.

imagine it’s his gf

You laugh to yourself. You wish.

The last day or two with Jun goes as they always do when he’s here—slow, but all that you need. He spends his time at your parents house and you stop by for lunch and dinner the day after you both return from the lake house.

The afternoon, you both went down to the cafe and stocked up on chocolate buns—Jun’s request—and spent the rest of your time until evening going over your plans for the rest of the summer. You enjoy this part, always. Not Jun leaving—of course not—but spending these tame moments with him.

It makes you wonder what things would have been like if he never left. Maybe he’d move out for university someplace else, but you’d get to see him more, probably. Get to hang out with him every weekend, instead of every two months.

You shake yourself off the thought as you drive to your parents house. Having Jun around more often would be nice, but there isn’t any point in dreaming about the impossible.

As you pull up to the driveway and park your car, you notice Minghao standing out by the front door with his suitcase and a bag. “Hey, looking for Jun?”

“Well, yeah. Of course I wanna say bye to you both before you go … is the van here yet?”

“Nah, it’s still taking some time but Jun is on the other side of the house to see if the car is gonna come from that side,” he explains.

“I’m gonna miss you guys … you know when you’re both going to come next?” you ask, voice softer than you anticipated.

“I really don’t know—I’m sorry. You know how things are.”

“Yeah,” you mumble, shoulders deflating as you look down at the ground..

“I know—it’s not … it's not easy for Jun, either, I can tell. It isn’t easy for any of us to leave.” When Minghao finishes speaking you only nod, and as your eyes meet,you feel like there’s something he wants to say. “Hey,” he murmurs quietly.

A heavy hand is placed on your shoulder, and you feel you might as well sink to the ground and let the earth swallow you up. “If you’re going to talk about—”

“Hear me out, yeah?” Minghao cuts you off, and when you open your mouth in protest, he continues. “Don’t …” he inhales deeply before saying, “Don’t take what I’m about to say the wrong way, okay?”

You cross your arms over your chest. “That really depends on what you’re going to say.”

“Okay, just … just listen. Jun, and me, and Yiren, and Renjun—” God, why is he bringing this up? “—we aren’t trying to hurt you.”

“Of course I know that.” Your eyebrows knit together and Minghao sighs at your reaction, letting his hand fall from your shoulder. You miss the touch, but your mind is a little too preoccupied with trying to decipher Minghao’s words to dwell on it.

“I’m just saying … you shouldn’t try to depend on anyone.” You open your mouth and then close it, trying to figure out how the hell he expects you to respond to this.

“What d’you mean?”

“Well I mean,” he huffs before continuing, shoving his hands in his pockets, “you obviously have been … upset about people leaving you and you can’t expect everyone to stick around forever.”

“If you’re talking about Renjun, he was my boyfriend. I think it’s okay for me to expect someone who I’m dating to ‘stick around,’ even though it might not be forever.”

“I guess, but it’s not just Renjun, right? Jun … Yiren … me …” he voice trails off.

“I basically spent my whole middle and high school years around you and Yiren, and Jun is literally my brother. Do you think me wanting the people I quite literally grew up around to be here for me is being ‘dependant?’”

“I don’t know what to tell you. I mean we were all going to grow up eventually? Look, don’t take this the wrong way and—”

“Excuse me?” you blurt out harshly, taking a step back, scoffing before you continue. “I wouldn’t be taking this the wrong way if you obviously didn’t mean it the wrong way. You basically just said I’m not independent.”

Minghao frowns at your reaction before responding, “I didn’t say that. I just said you shouldn’t depend on anyone.”

“Which implies that I am depending on people unnecessarily!”

Minghao adjusts his backpack straps as he says, “I mean you did cry for quite a while about how people are leaving you. I just don’t want you to get more hurt by being dependent on others.”

“Thanks for the concern,” you shoot sarcastically, “but I’m not dependent on anyone. I was upset that night because all the people closest to me have moved away and if you ask any normal person, I’m pretty sure they’d agree that that’s a valid reason to cry a little. So sorry if that was too much for you.” You say the last part with disgust laced on your tongue, and you watch Minghao’s face grow increasingly sour as you go on.

“Okay, now you’re just twisting my words,” Minghao huffs, glancing around to make sure that no one is close by.

“What the hell Minghao,” you scoff, clenching your fists at your side. You don’t want to be the person to jump down his throat, but you can’t help but feel like you’re being talked down to. “Why—why are you acting like I’m still a little kid. I’m more than Jun’s little sister, you do know that right?”

“Oh my god, seriously?” Minghao retorts, eyebrows rising in a mix of disbelief and irritation. “You think that’s what this is about? For fuck’s sake I’m just looking out for you.”

“Exactly!” you exclaim, pointing an accusing finger at him. “There’s no reason for that! Like I said, I’m not some little girl anymore and I’ve been looking out for myself for years. You just happened to catch me in a moment where I let myself be sad about it which, again, is a totally valid thing to be sad about.”

“I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“Well congratulations! You were unsuccessful,” you mumble out, feeling an ugly knot build up in your throat. “I trusted you,” you say softly, and Minghao looks at you with eyes so apologetic you almost think about forgiving him. “That night after I saw Renjun—I-I trusted you,” you add more harshly this time. “And I cried to you even though we haven’t properly spoken in fuck knows how long and you take all that and make me out to seem like some sort of defenseless kid—”

“Can you stop—you’re putting words into my mouth. I never said you were defenseless or not independent or anything like that—I don’t even know why you think I would think of you like that because you know that’s not true.”

“Minghao, I don’t know if you’ve realized but it’s been years since we've talked properly. Just because—” You take a deep breath before continuing your bitter words. “—just because you get to live your stupidly amazing life with my brother by your side doesn’t mean that you know me and that I know you, because clearly we don’t know each other at all!”

“I’m sorry?” he says exasperatedly. “Sorry I care about you or whatever, even though things have changed.”

You scowl, and in your right mind you wouldn’t let your next words slip out of your mouth. “Well don’t. I’ve been fine without your sympathy so far, I’m pretty sure I can go on a bit longer.”

Minghao is about to respond, you can tell from the way his hands fiddle at his sides, but then there’s a buzzing and you reach into your pocket to pull out your phone. “Hey Jun,” you say, answering the call without meeting Minghao’s gaze. “… Yeah, he’s with me, we’re just waiting for the car … okay I’ll tell him.”

Tucking the device back into your pocket, you look at Minghao. “Jun is asking for you on the other side of the house. You should go,” you say flatly and you can tell from the look on his face that he wants to say more, but holds back.

Grabbing his suitcase, he tears his eyes from you and doesn’t look back after saying, “See you,” walking away and around the corner of the street. There’s that similar chill that takes over your body when Minghao says the same words Renjun said just a few nights before, and you silently wonder if this is history repeating itself.

“So,” Yiren says as she plops down onto your couch, kicking her feet up onto your coffee table. “How’d meeting with Renjun go? He give you your shit back?”

“Why wouldn’t he?” you grumble as you walk over and nudge her legs to get her to put them down. “And you can’t just flop down and sit! Put your suitcase away so it’s not in the middle of the room,” you order, trying to be stern as Yiren sticks her tongue out at you.

“So bossy—your best friend is visiting your cute little abode and you can’t help her out with her stuff?” Yiren juts out her bottom lip into a pout as you sit next to her and wrap your arms around her waist, sinking into the couch. “Okay what’s going on. You’re being extra snappish …” she asks a bit more seriously, pulling away from your hold to get a better look at you. “Was it Renjun? Did he say something before he left?”

“No!” you say quickly, looking away bashfully, leaning back against the arm rest. You fucking wish you were in this sour mood because of Renjun because you could manage that. Renjun is gone, and it would hurt but you’d get over it.

You aren’t sure how long it’ll take to get over Minghao, if you ever do at all.

“Are you lying to me? You know I can tell when you’re not telling the truth.”

“I am telling the truth.” Just not all of it, you think to yourself.

Yiren sighs loudly, sitting up straight and facing you completely. “You are so bad at this. C’mon tell me—what’d he say? Or was it not Renjun—Jun? Which Jun was it? Did you and Jun fight?”

“I—”

“Like that one time two years ago and you didn’t talk to each other until he came back a month later and—”

You cringe at the memory, slapping a hand over her mouth. “Yiren don’t bring that up. I hated that.”

“Okay sorry,” she says sheepishly. “But seriously—what was it? Renjun? Jun? Which one? Or wait—Min—oh my gosh, don’t tell me it was Minghao!” When you take more than a second to respond, Yiren gasps. “Oh god, it was Minghao.”

She stands up quickly, looking down at your figure on the couch. Before you can say anything, she turns on her heel and walks towards your kitchen. “Hey, where are you going!” you call out to her, sitting upright.

Yiren doesn’t respond, only reaching into the fridge and pulling out two cans of pop. Walking back, she sits down in front of you and hands you a Cola, opening her own Sprite herself. “C’mon, you need to tell me about this. The pop is just here for emotional support.”

You narrow your eyes at her. You thought you were dealing with the effects of your argument with Minghao perfectly fine, but as you look down at the cold can in front of you, an uneasy feeling bubbles up in your stomach. Taking a deep breath, you set the can down on your coffee table, leaving it unopened.

Yiren gapes at you with wide eyes. “You’re not going to have it?” Neck hanging low, you shake your head, and you hear her gasp quietly. “Oh my gosh, you just turned down a Cola,” she mutters, grabbing a pillow and pushing it in your direction. “Okay now you need to tell me what’s going on.” She pauses, shuffling closer, adding softly, “It’s okay, you can cry.”

And just like that, the dam breaks and stray tears fall from your lashes as you clutch the pillow close to your chest, blubbering your mind away to your best friend.

“I don’t even get it—I thought I was over him?” you question aloud. “Like when I was with Renjun I was happy and I didn’t think about Minghao because Renjun was great and he was so nice but he just—” you choke back a sob and Yiren pats your back.

“But he left,” she murmurs softly and you want to cry harder because Yiren left too, but then you remind yourself of what Minghao said. Taking a deep breath, your wipe your face of your tears and although your lips still quiver, you start to speak.

“It’s okay,” you mutter, because it isn't like you haven’t cried over this before. “I just—I guess I haven’t really tried hard enough.”

“Tried to … what exactly?”

You huff, throwing your back onto the couch as you look up at the ceiling. “You know: get over him.”

Yiren chuckles a little, and even through your sniffles, you laugh with her. “What are you saying—you gonna fuck around now?”

“Maybe not fuck around,” you say, crossing your legs. “More like … have some fun.”

“So basically fuck around.”

“Yiren!”

“Oh c’mon—you need me to set you up with someone? My sister knows a lot of—”

You nudge her playfully. “What happened to ‘Ms. I Want Half of the Proceeds from your Wedding with Minghao?’”

“First of all,” Yiren waves a finger at you pointedly, “I only asked for 25%, but if you two can come back from this, I will be asking for at least 50% because I have been rooting for you two since day one.”

“Aren’t you the one who’s trying to set me up with other guys?”

“That’s only because you come first to me. Your relationship with Minghao—”

“The nonexistent one,” you correct and Yiren glares at you.

“Okay fine. Your nonexistent relationship with Minghao comes second. I want to see you happy. If you get to be happy with Minghao that’s just an added plus because, you know, 50% of all the gifts and—”

“You’re getting 25% max.”

“Don’t worry. There’s still time for plenty of negotiation and—”

“Yiren!”

You don’t live up to Yiren’s expectations—in her words, she wanted you to have a hot girl summer, but you couldn’t be bothered to go through with it. Well, sort of.

The next two months go along as your summers usually do. You take up a job near your apartment, working through the morning and afternoon, spending your evenings at home or occasionally out with Jianing.

Jianing doesn’t know much about anything when it comes to your (nonexistent) relationship with Minghao, and you figure she doesn’t need to. When you need a distraction, all it takes is a quick message asking her to accompany you for whatever endeavors you have going on for the night and she’s on board.

It’s a slow summer, but you don’t really mind. Not burdened with the stress of your classes and with Jun and Minghao gone for the next two months for their own performances and promotions, you have time to focus on yourself.

Occasional parties, indulging in hobbies, daily walks in the mornings, late nights of binge watching TV shows, outings with Jianing—it’s all a part of a simple routine that you’ve curated to do one thing, and one thing only: relax.

It’s only near the end of the summer, around three weeks before your classes are set to resume, that Jun calls you to let you know he’s coming home with Minghao. He seems pretty casual about it, and you’re reminded about how Minghao probably didn’t mention anything about your argument to your brother, which you’re thankful for.

It’s a passing thought that you’ll have to figure out how you want to act when you finally face him again. Whatever. That’s a problem for another time. Right now, you relax.

That problem for another time seems to have become a problem for now. Jun came home two days ago and things were alright—no run-ins to Minghao and you spend time with your brother like you usually do whenever he returns: with bickering and meals.

It’s only on the third day that things become a little … a little iffy. Your brother texts you in the evening to get ready quickly because he’s stopping by with Minghao for dinner at his place, and it’s all happening so quickly that you don’t have time to come up with an excuse.

So here you are, throwing on your sacred pink jacket because it’s the first thing in your vision, some old jeans, and waiting outside your apartment building much less enthusiastically than you’d like. It’s only a matter of minutes before your phone buzzes with a text from Jun letting you know he’s here and you see Minghao’s car pulling up in front of you.

Making your way to the back door where you usually sit with the two of them, you furrow your brows seeing Jun sitting in your usual spot.

“Sit in the front,” Jun orders when you go to open the back door, “I wanna lay down.” You shrug, making your way to the passenger seat as Jun settles into the back, resting his head on the window while kicking his legs up onto the other two seats.

“Hi,” you say quietly to Minghao who nods and speaks his own quick greeting, averting his attention to the wheel in front of him without much more than that.

“Please,” he huffs, watching Jun through the rear view mirror, “don’t put your shoes on the seats. I just had the car cleaned.” Jun clicks his tongue and kicks his shoes off, continuing to lay back in the seat as Minghao starts the car. The ride is silent as he drives toward the restaurant, both you and Jun on your phones while Minghao has his eyes trained on the road.

Once he parks in front of the place, you watch from the corner of your vision to see Minghao unbuckling his seatbelt before your brother speaks up.

“You guys can wait here, I’m gonna grab the food,” Jun says, slipping in his shoes and making his way to the restaurant, leaving you and Minghao in thickening silence. His hands are resting on his thighs and you press your head on the window, looking out as you try to focus on anything but this.

“Uh,” Minghao clears his throat, and you silently brace yourself for what he might say. “Nice jacket.”

Oh.

Glancing down at what you’re wearing, you twiddle with the hem of the familiar pink jacket. You wonder if this is Minghao’s way of holding out a figurative olive branch, and then you think harder about if you’re willing to accept it. “Thanks,” you reply, matting a hand over your hair before turning your attention to Jun who’s walking towards your car now.

Slipping into the back seat, he shakes the plastic bag in the air as he buckles himself in. “Takeout secured. Let’s go back to your place now,” Jun says, tapping on Minghao’s shoulder from behind. There’s an odd tension in the air, and you don’t doubt that Jun feels it, although he keeps his mouth shut about it.

No one says a word until Minghao is parking in his driveway and unlocking the front door. You follow behind the two of them, Jun grabbing the food as you enter Minghao’s house.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Jun asks, putting the takeout bag on the coffee table of the living room as you all begin to settle down.

You shrug off your coat as you say, “Uh, I have to go back to my place and go out for the afternoon and evening with Jianing. Me and her have this little monthly date day thing, and we’re going to the city.”

“Wha-a-a-t,” Jun drawls out, a frown etched onto his face. You narrow your eyes at him, shrugging.

“What? It’s not like you’re leaving right after tomorrow.”

“Yeah, but I’m not here for long. I wanted to do something tomorrow, since I might be doing stuff after that!” Jun whines, pointing at Minghao. “We might be going to this cool store and take some pictures and stuff.”

You huff, slightly annoyed as you flop down on a couch. “Okay well can’t you do that tomorrow then? I already have plans.”

Jun pouts, and if he wasn’t so on your nerves right now, you would poke some fun at him. “Why-y-y? You knew I was coming this week!”

“Well it’s not like I can clear my schedule for you. If you wanted to do something you should’ve told me earlier!”

“I let you know last week I was coming down!”

“Jun,” you say with a half laugh, noticing the way Minghao’s eyes have been flickering back and forth between you two through the whole conversation, “one week is not enough time to change some plans. I’ve been meeting with Jianing consistently at this time of month for over a year!”

“But still—”

“It’s not like if I showed up to Korea whenever the time’s convenient for me, you’d drop everything you’re doing to spend time with me!” you exclaim.

Jun’s fists ball at his side before he says, “That’s because my job is important and—”

“The stuff I do in my life might not seem important to you but it is very much important to me. Sorry I’ve made commitments to other people before I even knew you were coming, but I don’t know why you’d expect me to drop all my plans just for you. It’s not even like we aren’t going to see each other afterwards too.”

“Well I’d only hope that’s the case—I only ever see you once every few months so sorry for wanting to take some of your time.”

“Guys—” Minghao starts to say, standing between the two of you but when both you and Jun glare at him, he steps back.

“Do you think your time is worth more than mine or something?” you scoff at Jun, ignoring Minghao.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I’m sorry, what exactly did you mean it like then?” you hiss.

Jun sucks in a breath between clenched teeth and runs a hand through his hair. “You know what I meant. Things are just—they’re different. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Right yeah. I won’t understand because I don’t have all these girls throwing themselves at me, making me think I’m entitled to everyone’s damn time.” Maybe you crossed a line with that one, but you’re too angry to care now. Hot tears well up in your lash line, threatening to fall any moment now.

“You were the one who was being a brat when you found out I was going to go to Korea in the first place!” Jun exclaims. “Fucking hell, why are you making such a big deal out of me wanting to spend some time with you now?”

Your face screws up into some kind of ugly frown at the words, and you clench your fists as your side. “A brat?” you repeat. “A brat? Is that seriously what you think of me?

“Well you did make a pretty damn big scene about me leaving, so yeah, maybe I do feel entitled to some of your time seeing that you were the one who was desperate for it in the first place.”

“Desperate? Are you kidding me—desperate? I was sixteen and you dumped the fact that you were moving away in like less than two months on me —of course I was upset but desperate? Well fuck you too I guess.” You punctuate the last word by turning on your heel, grabbing your coat off and marching past Minghao and over to the door.

You don’t hear Jun say anything after you do, and for that you are grateful because you don’t think you’ll be able to handle hearing his voice again. Walking out the foyer past the door, you stomp your way to your car, forcefully yanking the driver’s seat open and plopping yourself down with a heavy thud.

Without a word, you press your forehead against the steering and scream a loud and painful, “FUCK!” You can’t even remember a damn thing you or Jun said but all that throttles in your head is the word brat and you feel you might just pull the steering wheel off your stupid car and tear just about everything else apart too.

The prospect is pretty tempting, actually, and in your red, you continue to hit your head, albeit gently, against the wheel as you mutter incoherent curses to yourself. The thud of your skull against the smooth letter rings in your ears until it becomes all that you can hear, so loud that it almost drowns out the knocking sound that comes from outside.

“Holy shit!” you gasp, when you see Minghao from the corner of your vision, standing outside your car with his lips pressed into the thin line. Rolling down your windows, you grimace. “You fucking scared me so bad. Please never creep up on me like that again.”

He narrows his eyes at you. “Don’t fucking storm out like that again then,” Minghao says, and your eyes widen slightly when you hear his voice. It’s harder, firmer, more serious than you’ve ever heard before.

“What are you—”

“You can’t drive when it’s night and you’re sobbing—”

“I am not sobbing,” you fruitlessly choke out, wiping some tears off your cheek as you straighten your back and glare at him.

“Look I get you’re mad at Jun and all but can you please calm down and talk to me so—”

You let out a humorless laugh as you begin to roll your windows back up. “Don’t even get me started on you.”

Minghao clicks his tongue as he sticks a hand into your window to stop it from going up any further, looking sideways for a second before turning back to you. “Okay well I don’t want you to drive yourself home like this. It’s not safe.”

“I am not staying here tonight.”

“Then let me drive you home,” Minghao suggests and you open up to object but no words come out. “You agree? C’mon, step out.” You let out nothing more than a huff as you open the door, slipping out quickly and shuffling to the other side where you sit with your arms crossed over your chest, bottom lip jutting out into a pout.

Minghao has already taken your spot, hands on the same steering wheel that you were planning on smashing with your head just minutes ago. He’s quiet for a few moments as he backs out of the driveway and starts driving down the street, the car echoing nothing but your soft sniffles that haven’t seemed to stop.

When Minghao opens his mouth again, you’re bracing yourself for a round of chiding, but all that comes out is a one-word question. “Pop?” He takes your silence as a confirmation, and soon enough Minghao is pulling up to that same convenience store. “Do you want me to get it for you?” he asks after he’s parked in front of the convenience store.

You purse your lips together, finally letting yourself turn to look at him. You really want to be mad at him but when you catch the way his fingers are shoved into his pockets, teeth gnawing at his bottom lip as he awaits your answer, you start to realize that Minghao might be just as apprehensive about this as you are.

“It’s fine,” you mutter, unbuckling your seatbelt so you can get out, Minghao following you quickly.

You’re the first to walk in this time, grabbing a Cola for yourself before looking at Minghao with a raised brow. When he nods, you toss him another can and he makes his way to the cash register. He’s about to pull out his wallet when you’re brushing past him and getting there first, holding up your card to the machine proudly.

“Just because I don’t want to be in any more debt to you,” you murmur, handing Minghao a can after you’ve paid for them both. You lead the way, walking out of the door and slotting yourself into the passenger seat of your car and Minghao gets into the seat next to you, turning on the engine.

You’re still quiet when he starts driving towards your apartment building, and you think that this is the perfect chance for you to drown in the silence. Maybe if you pretend you’re alone, you’ll be able to forget about all the thoughts running through your mind.

Pressing your eyes shut, you slump down into your seat and just as you’re about to let your mind drift into the silence, you hear a familiar rattle of the snare and guitar bridge and your eyes snap open, staring at Minghao directly. He faces forward, eyes trained on the road as he pulls closer to the curb in front of your complex, sighing deeply when the car starts to slow down.

“What are you trying to do Minghao?” you finally say weakly, burying your face in your hands. “You—you’re playing Creep and you took me to get Cola and all you were supposed to do was take me home so—”

“Can I not try to make you feel better? I don’t want you to be upset, so I’m sorry if I’m trying to do the things I know you enjoy,” Minghao responds with a heavy breath, parking in front of your building just like that night he did when he picked you up from the bus stop after you met with Renjun.

The deep strumming of guitar and vibrations of the bass bounce off the walls of your car, and you slip into your seat as the words of the song sink in.‘What the hell am I doing here?’ Glancing up at Minghao, your vision grows blurry. “Minghao …” your voice is quiet and strained when you call for him, and in that moment, you know.

All those years ago when you wanted to kiss him and hold him and pull him close, but you didn’t because you were scared. When you wanted to let your tongues collide and tug at his hair, but you didn’t because you had so much to lose.

You still have so much to lose, but you’re not scared anymore.

And it seems Minghao isn’t either.

Tonight, you get to taste the lingering drops of Cola on his tongue. You get to feel his arms fumbling over the armrest, slipping around your waist and yanking you onto his lap. You get to hold his neck and let your fingers sit in his hair. You get to indulge.

Minghao’s mouth is hot against yours, tongue lapping at your bottom lip when you take a sacred moment to breathe on top of him before your eyes are fluttering back shut and your lips mold into one once again. He hugs you so close you don’t know how you can still breathe, don’t know how your bones don’t melt into each other in this burning moment.

Your lips work fervently to slide against each other in a wet, calculated mess that has you whimpering into Minghao’s mouth when one of his hands cups your jaw. His thumb is soft against your cheekbone when he tilts your head to the side so that your noses brush against either and his lips delve deeper into the caverns of your mouth.

You don’t know how long you two go at it, fingers grappling at whatever skin you can, Minghao’s hand brushing under your shirt and stroking the plush of your hips. And when you feel like you can’t breathe anymore because your heart is so full, you pull away, letting the thin string of saliva connect your shiny lips.

Your brain is foggy and you and Minghao simply sit in the comfortable silence. Well, almost comfortable silence.

You shouldn’t try to depend on anyone.

“W-wait,” you stutter when Minghao leans forward in hopes to catch your lips in another fleeting kiss. “Oh my god,” you mutter to yourself, pushing his shoulders back against the seat as you try to shuffle off his lap.

Minghao holds your waist tightly, but you break free of the grasp. “What are you doi—hey, wait a sec!”

“You said you’re trying to make me feel better but you just did exactly the opposite,” you scoff, slipping on your coat as you push the car door open.

“What are you talking abo—” You cut him off by slamming the door, and Minghao quickly grabs your keys and follows after you. “Slow down.”

You whip around to face him, tears streaming down your face for what feels nth time tonight. “Look, you left like two months ago spewing all this stuff about how I should be independent but the second you come back you act like you’re trying so hard to make me feel better and stuff and then—” You take a deep breath, “—then we makeout and you—fuck I don’t know, I don’t know what you expect from me! Do you just expect me to forget about this and not get upset when you leave again?” you choke out. “Just keep my keys and drive yourself back to your place. I’ll pick up my car later,” you mutter.

“Can you stop doing this? It’s just like what happened last time, and I don’t want to have to leave if you’re—if we’re not okay.”

“What ‘we?’ Weren’t you the one who told me to not expect anyone to stay? I’m not going to do this ‘we’ and ‘us’ thing with someone who is just going to leave all over again. I’m not going to expect you to stay.”

“Look, I just don’t want this to be hanging over your head when I’m gone.”

Ironic, you think to yourself. You want to tell Minghao that he’s been hanging over your head ever since you met him all those years ago, but you bite back the words.

“Minghao,” you say, your voice strained and tired, “I’m already exhausted and my brain isn’t working so can you please just give me my space.”

And if Minghao is one thing, it’s not pushy, and you know that this is all it takes to get him to back off. Though, you don’t miss the way his face falls as he steps back quietly.

“See you,” he mutters through gritted teeth as he turns on his heel, and you can’t tell if you’re relieved or bothered by the way he leaves so silently.

You don’t see Minghao or Jun after that night. They’rewere  supposed to leave for Korea in the next four days, and so you spend those four days lodged up in your apartment, not leaving unless absolutely necessary—you’re scared that you might run into one of them, as pathetic as that sounds.

Jun doesn’t text you and you don’t text him. It’s a bit abnormal, you two communicate at least once every two days, if not more. It’s a bit of an unspoken rule, but now that you’re both hot-headed and very much not in the right mind, you figure some rules are meant to be broken.

It’s two days after Jun and Minghao were scheduled to leave, the only confirmation that you got that they actually did leave being the group picture at the airport your father sent to the family group chat.

Jianing comes to your apartment when you finally call her over, quickly picking up on your sullen state.

“I don’t get it,” she says with a shrug after you explain to her everything that happened between you and Jun and Minghao.

“Well yeah, I guess you don’t, but this has been going on for a while,” you reply begrudgingly, sinking into your couch as she stares at you blankly from your armchair.

“Just—I dunno—talk to them?”

You give her a funny look. “How?” you groan, throwing your head back. “They won’t be back for like a month at least, and I don’t want to call them.”

“I forget they’re famous sometimes” Jianing mutters, rolling her eyes, and you laugh at the comment.

“You and me both,” you say, straightening your back.

“But still, I don’t get it. I mean just visit them?” she suggests casually.

“I can’t just fly up to Korea unannounced!” you exclaim, bewildered.

Jianing rolls her eyes at you and you frown. “Why not? I mean you just said this might go on for a while if you don’t talk to them so I don’t get it. Just go see them.”

YOURS TRULY

you: chan i need ur help [8:13 AM] chan: this is ur first time texting me in three months [8:15 AM] chan: so i am going to assume this is pretty important [8:15 AM] you: i’m at incheon airport [8:16 AM] chan: what [8:17 AM] you: what [8:17 AM] chan: jun didn’t say anything about u coming??! [8:19 AM] you: DON’T TELL HIM [8:19 AM] chan: what … [8:20 AM] you: i’m surprising him [8:20 AM] chan: ????? [8:21 AM] chan: who knows [8:21 AM] you: um you do [8:21 AM] chan: thank u [8:22 AM] chan: so what do u need [8:22 AM] you: can u pick me up [8:23 AM] chan: i don’t have a choice do i [8:24 AM] you: nope :3 [8:24 AM]

When black SUV stops in front of you by the curb at the airport, you smile brightly, waving at the driver as the windows begin to roll down. You’re about to chirp a quick, “Hi Chan!” but the words get caught in your throat when you see who’s driving.

“Jeonghan?” you ask confusedly. He waves at you from the front seat, and Chan sticks his head in from the back to look at you through the window.

“I’m sorry!” he exclaims, opening the door to help you pull in your suitcase and get situated into the back seat. “Look, I tried to leave without anyone noticing but they saw me so I told them I was going to the gym, but he said he wanted to come and —” Chan glares at the man in the passenger seat, “— I don’t even know why since he hasn’t gone to the gym in ages—”

“Watch it Chan!” Jeonghan calls out from the front as the cat starts to move, pulling an eye roll out of the boy sitting next to you.

“Whatever. Basically, I had no choice but to bring him along and tell them I was actually picking you up.”

“You guys didn’t tell Jun, did you?” you ask worriedly.

“I—no,” Jeonghan says. “And even if we tried, he won’t be awake for another hour or whatever. That’s besides the point anyways—Chan is terrible at lying.”

“You caught me off guard! I wasn’t expecting to see anyone this morning, so I didn’t have any excuses prepared …” Chan huffs, sinking into his seat as you glance back and forth between them nervously.

“Thank you for trying anyways,” you say sincerely, adjusting in your seat. “I know this was all really sudden but I didn’t plan anything out and I kinda ended up here before I could even process anything,” you add.

“Hey, Minghao was telling us about these really good cupcakes you make—if you have time, can you bake them for us?” Chan asks, out of the blue.

You give him a funny look and then smile. “Sure, if I have the time. I’d like to—they told me Mingyu tries to make them for you guys.”

“Yeah! That would—”

“Thank you, but I’m going to assume that you are here for a reason other than making us your infamous cupcakes,” Jeonghan says, merging onto the freeway.

“As much as I’d love for that to be why I’m here, you’re right,” you mutter, resting your head against the headrest.

“Is everything alright?” Jeonghan asks.

As you’re about to respond, Chan chimes in. “This is about Jun, isn’t it?”

“Ai—Channie, don’t jump to conclusions,” Jeonghan reprimands but Chan shakes his head, holding his hand up as he turns to you with wide eyes.

“No, no, I’m not assuming anything. I’m right, aren’t I?” Partly. Chan continues. “Well it’s just—I can kinda tell. He’s being a little snappier. Jeonghan wouldn’t know but—“

Jeonghan gives Chan a warning look through the rear view mirror. “What do you mean I wouldn’t know?”

“Hannie, just listen to me. So me and Soonyoung and Minghao and Jun have been practicing at night right—for that next performance—and you know that Jun has a bit of a temper, especially in the night, but I don’t know—it’s just been different recently.”

You stifle a scoff when Chan mentions Jun having a short temper, looking out the window hoping no one heard. Jun does have a bit of a fiery streak, but the truth is that you’re just as sporadic as him.

Fire meets fire. Huh, wonder what that makes. More fire, probably. That’s what got you here, isn’t it? Unfortunately.

“Has, uh,” you pause wondering if you should ask this, but curiosity does kill the cat, after all. “Has Minghao seemed … off?”

Jeonghan narrows his eyes at you. “What’s Minghao got to do with this? Did something happen with him too?” Curse that emotionally intelligent man.

Chan eyes flicker between the ground and you. “It’s hard to tell when Minghao is upset. He seems normal even when he’s upset so I can’t really tell … why though?”

“Just—just a lot of stuff. I think I need to see them both. Separately.”

Jeonghan nods, pursing his lips together before responding, “Do you need our help?”

Jeonghan takes you to his apartment first so you have a moment to drop your suitcase off somewhere, and you get to say hi to Seungkwan who you’re pretty sure didn’t even recognize you in his drowsy state.

“Where’re we going?” you ask when you get back outside of the building heading towards the car.

“C’mon, let’s walk,” Chan says, pulling you away from the car.

“Jun’s apartment building is just down the street here,” Jeonghan explains. “He should be sleeping right now, so just wake him up.”

“Are you kidding me? He might kill me!” you complain with a frown.

Chan huffs, “Well you did come here unannounced and without a plan, so you don’t have much of a choice anyways.”

You chew on your lip as you fruitlessly try to come up with an answer, sighing in defeat when you come up with nothing.

“Exactly,” Jeonghan concludes, stopping in front of a building that’s built similar to his. “Anyways, his suite number is 345 on the third floor. You should know the code to his apartment right?”

You nod, but then shake your head. “I know it, but I think I’ll just knock until he wakes up. He might actually kill me if someone shows up inside his home unannounced.”

Chan laughs at that when the two of you lead you to the elevator of this new building. “That, he might.”

“So encouraging,” you mutter, sticking your tongue out at them as the elevator door opens. “Anyways, thank you for helping me, really. I’ll make cupcakes if I make it out of this alive,” you promise while you step in.

“You better!” Jeonghan calls out as the doors slide shut and the elevator begins to take you up.

It’s now, when you’re alone, that it all begins to sink in. You’re in Korea. You’re about to see Jun. You might die—okay maybe you’re being a little dramatic, but you aren’t sure what to do with yourself so your mind is jumping towards the worst possible scenario as you reach the third floor and make your way to his apartment.

You stand in front of room 345 for a few moments once you arrive, not even sure if you’ll manage to go through with this. What the fuck are you even going to say?

(Un?)fortunately, you have a tendency to not think before you act, and before you have a second of thought your knuckles are rapping against the door. It’s silent for a moment and you wonder if you should go again.

Taking a deep breath, you continue knocking on the door at a steady rate before you hear soft footsteps growing louder in volume until they stop at the door. You hold your breath and let your hand fall, fisting it at your sides in anticipation.

When you see the door crack open, a wave of relief washes over you. But when you see Jun’s blank face as he looks down on you, a new sense of uneasiness takes over.

“What are you doing in my apartment?” Ah, how nostalgic.

“So cold. You aren’t going to let me in?”

Jun rolls his eyes, and you grow more anxious because you can’t tell if he’s being playful or not. He steps to the side though, and you quickly slip through the door so he can close and lock it behind you.

“What are you doing here?” he reiterates and you feel your tongue go dry.

“Uh, Chan told me that you’re being—well—how do I put this?” you mutter to yourself, rocking back and forth on your feet.

“Difficult?” Jun guesses, bitterness laced in the word and you cringe at the tone.

“I guess.”

“I don’t think you came all the way to Korea just because Chan told you I was being difficult.”

“I, uh, I talked to Jianing about it when she visited and … I guess I felt I should come see you.”

“So if Jianing didn’t talk to you about this, then you just wouldn’t have talked about it?” Jun asks harshly and you glare at him.

“Well it’s not like you would’ve come talk to me about it either,” you retort, and Jun goes quiet at them. “And Jianing didn’t make this decision for me, by the way, I made it all by myself.”

“Okay well you’re here now. What is it?” An uncomfortable silence sits between you two. “If you only came here to just stand there and stare off into space then—”

“Jun, please shut your mouth for like one minute,” you mutter, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I-I wanted to apologize. That night I … I was on edge.” Jun watches you intently as you finally meet his gaze. “There was a lot running through my mind and I was just—just fucking annoyed at everything and I took everything you said the worst way.”

A feeling of worry climbs up your throat—you and Jun don’t often apologize, at least not like this. Apologies usually come in the form of figurative olive trees—you buy him a LEGO set, he buys you a gift card to your favorite cafe, or something among that. Then again, this isn’t your usual argument with Jun, and maybe sometimes resorting to more traditional methods are most effective.

Jun sighs softly, not looking at you, and you grow worried that he’s even more angry than you anticipated. You brace yourself for his next possible words. “I … I did say some mean stuff too. I’m sorry—I just—I have a shitty temper. You know that. Chan probably told you that too.” Jun is silent for a second before continuing. “Is … is everything okay?”

The question isn’t quite what you’re expecting and you press your lips together tightly because you want to cry. You want to let the tears stream down your cheeks and tell Jun that you have no idea but also the perfect idea of what you’re doing and it’s all jumbled up mess in your head.

“I guess—I mean, I hate fighting with you,” you admit. “But, that’s why I came here and we didn’t say goodbye the last time and I know that was partly my fault but also I missed you.”

“But are you okay?”

“Jun—”

“Because I know you’re stubborn—it really is annoying sometimes but I’m not one to complain,” he adds with a huff, “and I know you’re a little weird—”

You both laugh and you point a finger at him, “Watch it—you and me both.”

“Whatever,” he says lightly before turning to a more serious tone. “But I never thought we’d fight again like that one time two years ago and—”

“Why does everyone keep bringing that up!? Yiren said that too,” you sigh.

“To make a point. Which, by the way, is me going back to asking you if everything’s okay. I just … I know that you’re a little crazy but I never thought that you’d fly over here for something that we could probably sort out over the phone. Not that I’m not glad to see you here, I mean, I am, I’m just … worried.”

“I kissed Minghao,” you blurt out, immediately slapping a hand over your mouth after you do.

“What?!” Jun’s eyes go wide for a moment before he relaxes a little. “Is that what’s been up with you?”

“What do you mean ‘up with me?’”

“Moody. Cranky. Like you’re in high school again.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You chew on your lip as you try to read Jun’s expression. He doesn’t seem mad nor happy nor confused, and you’re running out of emotions to label him under.

“I knew you liked him in high school, you know. Thin walls, plus Yiren is loud as hell.”

“Ugh, I always told her to keep it down! She didn’t believe me!”

“Doesn’t matter now. What you or him do isn’t much of my business anyways,” Jun mutters, awkwardly stuffing his hands in the pockets of his hoodies. “I mean I guess it is, if it makes you all upset and not okay like this,” he continues.

You can tell he’s encouraging you to explain more, and you press your eyes together trying to figure what and what not you should say. “Has Minghao … has he seemed different?”

“I mean not really, but also it’s hard to tell with him because—” Your whole finger droops and Jun quickly places a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, what is this about? Did something happen? You know you can tell me.”

“It’s a lot,” you confess. “I don’t know, I-I came here to talk to the both of you but I haven’t even thought about what to say to him. I kind of booked my tickets last night.”

“Last night?!”Jun exclaims. “Are you stupid or what?”

“Maybe I am!” you murmur, slapping your palm against your forehead. Jun looks down at your pained expression and frowns.

“You’re not going to tell me what happened, are you?”

“What happened to, ‘I don’t care what you guys do it isn’t my business?’”

“Well it is my business if you’re upset! I’m the only person who’s allowed to be a bitch to you.”

“Well ditto to you too!” You follow with a sigh. “I think I just need to talk to him.”

“He’s at the gym right now. Do you want to get coffee instead?”

“Hogging me all to yourself? I know you missed me but don’t you think this is a little unfair—I’d like to at least say hi to the others first. Or maybe have some time to sleep. I kind of got here at like seven in the morning.”

“Be grateful! I’m actually looking out for you, because they’ll literally hound you, plus I want to make up for not spending time with you last time I visited.”

You grin at the words, rolling your eyes playfully. “Fine. But you’re paying.”

“When do I not pay for you?”

“Loads of times!”

“That’s because you insist on paying for yourself.”

“Irrelevant!” you exclaim triumphantly, waving a fist in the air before Jun locks his arm around your neck and traps you in a headlock. Good times.

“We have afternoon practice, then recording in the studio in the evening, but we should be done by like eight,” Jun explains, taking a picture of the coffee in front of him.

“Must you take a picture of everything?” you sigh, taking a sip of your own drink. Jun rolls his eyes, flicking your knee from under the table.

“I am a celebrity. I kinda need to keep records of everything I do.”

“Okay well I’m your sister and I kinda need you to help me talk to Minghao.”

“Just like—I dunno—find him and talk to him. Can’t be that hard.”

“You—ugh, you’re just like Jianing,” you groan. “No help!”

“Okay fine, fine. What do you want me to do? Corner him? Lock him into a closet and keep him there so you can talk to him? Force him to—”

“Junnie what the hell,” you mutter, slapping a hand to your forehead. “I think I’m just going to have to ask Jeonghan and Chan for help again because—”

“Okay no. I’ll help. What do you need me to do?”

“Have you been listening to me? Tell me when and where I can talk to him!”

“Well I already suggested the closet but you turned that down so—”

“Jun.”

“We can try the meeting room? He’s there a lot and it’s usually empty in the evenings. He responds to emails and shit there, I don’t know, so you won’t be interrupting much.”

“You sure it’ll work?”

Jun cocks an eyebrow up. “You don’t trust me?” You kick him under the table and he winces. “Okay yes, yes, it’ll work so would you stop kicking—hey! I said stop kicking!”

“We have afternoon practice, then recording in the studio in the evening, but we should be done by like eight,” Jun explains, taking a picture of the coffee in front of him.

“Must you take a picture of everything?” you sigh, taking a sip of your own drink. Jun rolls his eyes, flicking your knee from under the table.

“I am a celebrity. I kinda need to keep records of everything I do.”

“Okay well I’m your sister and I kinda need you to help me talk to Minghao.”

“Just like—I dunno—find him and talk to him. Can’t be that hard.”

“You—ugh, you’re just like Jianing,” you groan. “No help!”

“Okay fine, fine. What do you want me to do? Corner him? Lock him into a closet and keep him there so you can talk to him? Force him to—”

“Junnie what the hell,” you mutter, slapping a hand to your forehead. “I think I’m just going to have to ask Jeonghan and Chan for help again because—”

“Okay no. I’ll help. What do you need me to do?”

“Have you been listening to me? Tell me when and where I can talk to him!”

“Well I already suggested the closet but you turned that down so—”

“Jun.”

“We can try the meeting room? He’s there a lot and it’s usually empty in the evenings. He responds to emails and shit there, I don’t know, so you won’t be interrupting much.”

“You sure it’ll work?”

Jun cocks an eyebrow up. “You don’t trust me?” You kick him under the table and he winces. “Okay yes, yes, it’ll work so would you stop kicking—hey! I said stop kicking!”

You twiddle your thumbs nervously behind your back as you wait in the elevator with Jeonghan. Jun had to take care of something with one of the other members, so he sent you off with the older boy to take you to the meeting room.

“He’ll be there, don’t worry,” Jeonghan tells you as he pats your shoulder lightly. “I just checked his location and I’m positive he’s there right now.”

“Thanks,” you say with a sigh, shifting your weight from leg to leg, “but I’m more worried about what I’m going to say. I think you already know but I planned like zero percent of this.”

“It’s becoming increasingly evident, unfortunately,” Jeonghan admits when the elevator dings and the door opens onto a floor full of rooms. “You’ll figure it out, I’m sure, seeing as you’re just like Jun.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jeonghan chuckles and leads you to a door a few steps down the hallway, pointing to it. “Don’t worry about it. He’ll be in there. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be down on floor three making some ramen,” he says cheerily, waving at you before retreating to elevatory before you have even a moment to protest.

So now you’re left with nothing but yourself and yet another door. This time, instead of knocking your life away, your hand is pressed against the knob as you debate whether or not you should turn it or not.

Once again, your body acts without your mind and you’re quietly opening the door and poking your head through the crack. Inside is Minghao with headphones over his ears, sitting at the end of a long table with his head crooked down as he scrolls through his lap top.

He doesn’t hear you, but you aren’t sure if it’s for the better or the worse. In some ways, you still have a chance to run, but in others, you’ll have to call out to him if you want him to notice you. Gulping, you realize that you’ve been too scared for too long and so you clear your throat.

“Minghao,” you call out.

It only takes a second for his eyes to shoot up, hands flying to his headphones to take them off as he takes in the sight of you in front of him. You’re at opposite ends of the room right now, and you nervously shut the door behind you as you finally meet his gaze.

“What are you doing here?”

“I—” You inhale sharply. “—I don’t know. I just think we both needed to talk.”

You can see him visibly gulp as he stands up, and looks away as if trying to figure out what he should do with himself.

“Shit,” he mutters under his breath, dread washing over you.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out, face burning. “I know I just showed up like this without warning and I know that’s not fair so if you don’t want to talk you know I totally get it and—” you start to blabber so fast you hardly notice him walking over and down the length of the table, “—I just really wanted to see you and talk to you but I couldn’t do it over the phone because—”

“Slow down,” Minghao says firmly, now standing in front of you as he gazes down with wide eyes. “Is everything okay? When did you come here—wait, did you come here just to talk to me?”

“Well yeah. And Jun.”

“Are you okay?” Minghao asks softly. “This doesn’t seem like you.”

You wince at the familiar words but shake it off. “I know, I just had so much to say and I’m sorry because you were right, and when you said you didn’t want this hanging over my head I was angry and I thought I could ignore this and ignore you but I was wrong and just really needed to sort things out. And the night you picked me up after Renjun and all—I know you told me to not depend anyone or anything—and I know I’m not listening to you right now and I don’t want you to be disappointed but—”

“Stop,” Minghao says, holding a hand up. “Disappointed? I—please don’t think that. The stuff I said that night was …” he sighs before continuing. “You were so upset that night because you didn’t have us around and I felt so bad but also, there wasn’t anything I could do about that.”

“I …” your eyebrows knit together as you try to find the right words. “… I know that. I didn’t mean to make it feel like you had to change anything, or that it was your fault.”

“I know and—”

“Wait, please hear me out. I don’t want to ever make you think that I blame you or Jun for leaving—I-I’m so happy for you guys you don’t understand. I was just … I was bitter,” you admit. “And I was jealous of you because you get to be around my own brother more than me and … I guess I was also jealous of Jun because he gets to be around you so often too.”

You finish your confession by burying your face in your hands, face heating up as you can only imagine the look on his face. He says your name softly, and you peek up at him through the gap between your fingers.

“Hey, no, I get it. I mean, I guess I don’t exactly understand how you’re feeling but I don’t blame you either.”

“I wrote you a letter,” you blurt out, a hand digging into your pocket as it toys around with the folded paper inside. Minghao raises a brow, and you pull it out and hold it in front of him. “Right after you guys left,” you explain as he takes the paper from your hand, carefully unfolding it. “Don’t open it now! That’s … embarrassing. Just read it when I’m not here or something because I might just die out of humiliation.”

When Minghao chuckles, you feel some of the tension in your shoulders dissolve. “Noted,” he murmurs, tucking it into the pocket of his sweats before turning his attention back to you with a more serious expression which has your stomach tying up in knots.

“You know how my job is. I can’t promise how often I’ll be home and when I’ll be able to make time and I know that people leaving hurt you so much and … I guess I just didn’t want to give you hope that I would be able to give you a ‘normal’ relationship, because I can’t, even though I want to. I think when I told you all that, I just—fuck—I hoped that you’d be able to focus on someone better for you.”

You want to cry and tell him that you don’t want someone ‘better,’ but choose to save those words for a different time. “T-then why’d you kiss me that night?” you ask quietly.

“I—” Minghao pauses, looking down as he searches for what he’s about to say. “I only have so much self control.”

You chew on your lip, debating if you should frown or grin at his statement. “So you—you wanted to kiss me?” Minghao responds in a heartbeat.

“Of course I did,” and then he clears his throat, “I wanted to for a while. I still do.”

Chuckling nervously, you start to say, “I don’t kn—”

The air is successfully sucked from your lungs when Minghao slides his hand around your neck, angling your jaw up with his gentle thumb. You think you might just go dizzy from the way he’s touching you until his warm mouth presses against yours, and this is the moment you feel every last muscle in your body let go.

He kisses you softer than the first time, his tongue running against your bottom lip for only a moment before you let your hand grip at his torso instinctively. “Sorry,” Minghao murmurs sheepishly when he breaks away. “Told you. Only so much self control.”

“I-I won’t complain,” you admit quickly, and though you let your hand drop to your side, Minghao keeps his where it is: cradling your cheek. He’s quiet for a moment before whispering again, and the words make your face burn and your heart fly around in circles.

“Can I kiss you again?”

“M-Ming—hao,” you whine, hands fisting the linen beneath you. A string of slick connects his mouth to your glistening folds, tethering him down to you even as he lifts his face. His eyes stare down at the slobbering mess between your legs, ignoring your soft chanting of his name before diving back down to close his mouth around your clit.

“Tastes so good,” he groans into you, hot breath fanning down on your folds as he licks fat stripes up and down into your cunt. One of his large hands reaches up and you instinctively guide it so that he can grasp one of your tits, squeezing tightly as your back arches into him.

“Fuck—Hao!” you cry out, when he peels his mouth away from you again. He looks up at you with heavy lidded eyes and a shiny wet chin and bright grin. “Was s’close … s’close,” you whimper, as he presses kisses on the inside of your thighs, licking and nipping at the soft flesh.

“I know baby, I know, but I wanna cum with you,” Minghao murmurs against your skin before crawling up onto his arms and over you. Your eyes flutter shut as he presses his lips against yours, sliding his tongue against yours fiercely.

Moaning at the taste of yourself, you wind your arms around his neck to pull his burning body flush against yours, grinding upwards in a determined mess to make sure the remnants of your almost-orgasm don’t ebb away.

You feel his hard length prodding against the inside of your thigh as Minghao shifts above you, adjusting his hands so they’re resting by your head when he finally pulls away, panting. Black hair sticking to his sweat-slick forehead, cheeks flushed, lips swollen—you don’t think you’ll ever get used to seeing Minghao like this.

You gasp loudly when you feel his cock brush against your already sensitive folds, burying your face into the crook of his neck as he runs one hand up and down your body. “Spread your legs a little,” he mutters, tapping at your knee so that you raise your thighs so he can settle better between you.

You’re about to egg him on and tell him to speed it up but then Minghao is punching the air out of your lungs in one ruthless thrust, forcing his fat cock into you in one go.

You’re in such a haze right now, you almost forget that you’ll have to face your brother and parents in less than an hour. Minghao and Jun were, after all, going back to Korea today, but your pre-orgasmic state pushes away the nasty thought of having to say goodbye to your boyfriend and brother so soon after having them to yourself.

It wasn’t easy, of course—the first few months after you came back home from Korea with the title of being Minghao’s girlfriend hanging above your head. It was what he’d been most worried about, when he first asked you to make things official the night before you left.

“I know what I’m doing Minghao, trust me.”

And trust you, he did. He trusted you when you were kids, when he was just your brother’s best friend, when you called him (almost) every night, and he trusts you now, as he’s ramming his cock into you.

Gripping onto his back tightly, you lodge your bottom lip between your teeth as you feel the rough drag of Minghao’s cock against your walls when he pulls his hips back halfway before pounding himself back in.

“God, fuck—I’m gonna miss this so much,” he grunts, punctuating his last word with an especially harsh thrust that has your body lurching against the sheets.

“M-me too,” you gasp, forcing your eyes open so you can watch the way his neck is strained and eyes are dilated as Minghao looks down at you.

“Yeah?” Minghao chuckles between heavy breaths, using one hand to cup your jaw while the other goes down to pinch at your clit. The touch against your sensitive nub as your mouth goes wide as you whine into Minghao’s mouth, lips swallowing up your loud moans while he kisses you.

Tongue and teeth meet in a clashing mess as you struggle to hold onto your last bit of sanity, his rough movements against your clit now turning to more a sharp and calculated circular motion that has you clenching around his cock.

“Minghao, fuck—” Your curse is cut off by the obnoxious ringing of your phone from the nightstand. Minghao groans, stilling his movements while his cock is pressed balls deep inside of you as he reaches over and grabs it.

“Just hang up,” you instruct but Minghao sighs, holding it up to show you the caller ID. Rolling your eyes, you grab the phone and hold it up to ear as you try and calm down your erratic breaths.

“Jun, I’m kind of busy—”

“I don’t care. Just make sure you guys come in like the next hour,” Jun says into the phone before pausing. “Why are you breathing like—ew. Gross. Forget I ever called. Well, don’t forget what I said, but you get the point. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to vomit now.”

Your phone beeps before the call cuts and you throw it to the side, clutching Minghao’s face to smash his lips on yours. “You heard him,” you mumble into his lips. “We don’t have a lot of time …”

Minghao sighs heavily, pressing his forehead to yours when you pull your lips away and glance down at the wet mess where his cock slams into your cunt. You feel your orgasm creep up on you again, tickling your stomach and spreading through your bones as you begin to squirm beneath him.

“Fuck, I’m close,” you moan, starting to lift your hips weakly to meet his thrusts while Minghao presses wet kisses to your collarbone. Your skin feels like it’s on fire and every snap of his hips is sending you closer and closer to the edge until you feel his cock twitch inside of you, triggering the storm to clock in on you. “‘m cumming—fuck, Hao, feels s’good. Feel s‘full,” you mewl when his eyes finally meet yours and you let go.

Your limbs convulse in a haphazard mess as a long awaited orgasm racks through your body, the waves of pleasure only heightening when you feel Minghao’s thick spurts of cum shoot through your swollen cunt. He weakly thrusts into you for a few final moments until you’re both in a buzzing, overstimulated haze, his body going limp when he finally collapses on top of you.

“Do you think we have time for another—” Minghao begins to ask, lifting his head to look at you when you lightly smack a hand over his head.

“Minghao, this is our third round,” you groan when he slips out of you, rolling off of you so you have room to cool down.

“And? I’m not going to see you for at least another month,” he whines, squeezing your cheek from the side.

Pressing a kiss to the side of his cheek, you murmur, “I wish we could but you heard Jun. We need to shower, still …”

Minghao rolls his eyes, propping himself up on his arms, eyes flickering between you and the shower before smirking. “So … are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“You horndog,” you scoff, sitting up straight as Minghao gets up from the bed. He turns to you, an eyebrow raised.

“So is that a yes or a no?”

Giggling, you kick the covers off and follow after him. “Only if you’re quick with it.”

Minghao grabs your arm, yanking you close to him as you stumble into the bathroom. “I love you,” he murmurs, your tits pressing close to his chest.

“I love y—” The words melt on your tongue before they can be heard, Minghao’s mouth engulfing your breath.

You’ll really have to apologize to Jun for being late.

“You have everything? Your tickets?” you ask as you lean against the doorframe. You’re both standing outside your parents house right now, waiting for Jun to finish his last bit of packing (why he was so insistent on you two coming quickly when even he wasn’t ready is still a mystery to you) so you can call over the van to take them to the airport.

Minghao shrugs at you, pulling out his wallet to look through the pockets to double check. As he’s shuffling through them, a familiar piece of paper sticks out and grabs your attention. “You keep my letter in your wallet?”

Minghao nods, seemingly unbothered by your surprise. “Yeah. Where else would I keep it?”

“Well, I don’t know but—”

“It’s a cute letter!” Minghao reasons. “And I like having it with me. Like a little good luck charm.”

You press a kiss to his cheek when he says that, but continue to say, “I don’t get what’s so cute about me getting drunk and writing to you.”

“Okay that part, I don’t like. Seriously. Underage drinking is not cool,” Minghao mutters. “But the rest of the letter is pretty nice I guess,” he teases, tucking his wallet back into his pocket.

“Pretty nice?” you scoff, trying to snatch the wallet back from him to grab your letter. He swipes it away too quickly though, and you’re left pawing at his chest to try and get it back. “You don’t deserve that letter! I put my heart and soul into it!”

“Heart and soul? I think you mean you poured five shots of vodka into it.” You frown deeply, and Minghao relaxes his shoulders. “Okay I’m sorry—you know I love the letter.”

“Do I?” you huff stubbornly, looking at the ground.

Minghao traces a hand down your face and tilts your chin upwards. “C’mon look at me,” he murmurs, and you begrudgingly meet his gaze. “I love the letter.” He pecks you on the lips. “Do you believe me now?”

“You might have to kiss me one more time for that.”

Minghao grins and presses his lips on yours again, a little harder this time. “Good now?”

“Yes—you got lucky.”

“Okay good … but just for extra measures, I have something that might sweeten the deal,” Minghao tells you, pulling a folded paper out of his pocket and handing it to you. Carefully, you take it and unravel it, glancing over the words.

There’s a lot—like a lot—and Minghao’s face flushes as you skim over the paragraphs he wrote, slapping a hand over the paper. “Okay don’t read it in front of me!” he whines, and you beam because history has a tendency to repeat itself.

“Fine, fine,” you sigh, looking down at it one more time when your eyes catch a little note at the bottom.

Pursing your lips, you glance up and find Minghao watching you with wide eyes and a bright smile, and you can’t help but fling yourself into his arms. Your heart swells when you feel him wrap his hands around you rightly pulling him close as the words cast their imprint into your mind.

You’re happy. So, so, so happy.

Yours truly, Xu Minghao (weirdo)

P.S. I love you.

a/n. okay wow i can't believe this is done ... genuinely put so much into this fic i hope u all enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! i definitely might be writing more about these two bc i loved them so much😭 i had like 2 more ideas for a smut in mind but decided not to add them but if you'd be interested in reading them, i might post them as a oneshot/bonus, so lmk what you're interested in! please reblog if u did, and let me know ur thoughts—it would mean a lot to me :3

tags. @synthetickitsune @ixayjun @leejihoonownsmyheart @dahliatopia @gyuswhore @hoeforcheol @5xiang @hajimelvr @miriamxsworld @blinkjunhui @lixiel0ver @josefines-things @mimisxs @ming-h0e @kawennote09 @bbyjjunie @junhui-recs @ichorjeon (strikethrough could not be tagged)

[kwangya-express]

(WayV) To Stage - EN

Author: Ruby

Main character: Xiaojun (WayV)

Minor Character: Changmin (TVXQ, Soloist)

Location: Kwangya.

Inspirations: MV Phantom, Turn Back Time (WayV) and Devil (Changmin)

It was a white, long, oppressive room, full of elongated screens, irritating the young man's vision. Seven seats, taking the third chair on the left, cleared his throat and adjusted his jacket uncomfortably. A choice was offered... well, that's what he believed, there was a glass of water and two colored pills in front of him. He thought about... He believed he thought, took the two pills in his hand trying to analyze them, blinked slowly and put them in his mouth...

"C'mon C'mon!! No delays, our guest hates delays". Kun hastily called our group. "We have to be perfect today."

"Who's that guest?". Hendery asked a little shyly.

"I... ". The leader of the group seemed to be trying to retrieve some memory that had just slipped through his fingers. "I don't remember his name for sure..., but, he's one of the captains of the army... something like that."

"What's a captain comes do here?". Yangyang questioned as he straightened his suit. "I thought the army didn't have time for fun."

"You dont believe in our work". Ten rolled his eyes. "We present classics, we are the vision."

"I don't take anything underneath, hyung, I trust our talent. It's just weird, we've never been visited by anyone from the army."

"Why smiles so much, Xiao DeJun?". Winwin narrowed her eyes. "You are strange."

"Just enjoying the scene, Dong Sicheng". A grimace came over the man's face. "It's almost time and you're debating why our guest is here."

"Xiao is right, we need to focus on our presentation and not on speculation". Kun intervened. "Focus on what we do best."

Time seemed to jump right after the small talk, the rush backstage was commonplace, however, even that seemed accelerated... His vision blurred, an oppressive corridor full of rusty pipes appeared in place of the theatrical landscape, hot smoke irritated his eyes , a sharp noise... "No... this is not the time to suffer from nervousness!", he thought irritably, he felt his body bend momentarily, took a deep breath trying to calm down, "It's just nervousness, it has to be! I'm not going to let my teammates down today."

"Are you coming? You can't be late". Hendery's gentle voice called him back to reality, he smiled nervously and nodded.

"I'm right behind you."

An atmosphere of tension hovered in the room, the strangeness did not return, but, something was odd, pressed the jaw and swallowed hard. DeJun always wanted to become a musical director, convey emotions on stage in a raw and unveiled way, due to his vocal power, he received the unexpected invitation to play the honorable role of Christine Daaé, in a reinterpretation of one of his favorite classics, accepting with enthusiasm, he didn't even bother to inquire about the other roles to be played. Knew the group at just their first rehearsal...or was it their first performance? To be honest, he wasn't sure, it just felt like the WayV theater company had always been there and he'd always been a part of it.

He closed his eyes, banishing the thought and smiled, as if the world were his best friend...he remember reading that in some book. He smiled, embodying Miss Daaé, adjusted her clothing that mixed the feminine and the masculine and started counting until her first step on stage. He tried to search the audience for the guest Kun referred to, however, the spotlight seemed calibrated above normal, blinding the view towards the audience. Focusing on his dancing and music, he mentally marked the ghosts' key exchanges. Yangyang being the Angel of Music during the terrace scene with Raoul's Winwin; Kun as Red Death, mounted on the boat, surrounded by the ghostly fluttering sails; Hendery traveled across the stage like Daroga, with his jades for eyes and Ten... suddenly Ten disappeared from his mind, leaving him apprehensive. Again an irritating smoke appeared, his eyes burned, however, he continued his staging, resuming his position in the middle of an improvised disguise, embodying the innocence of the character and her anguish.

"Poor Erik... How could anyone not choose you? I choose you.". Uttered at the apex of the staging, sealing the fate of those characters.

The collapse occurs, the end of the play has approached with mastery, effusive applause echoed through the environment. They smiled, bowed in thanks and left the stage in anticipation of preparations for the encore, while the crew removed the destroyed set. Unlike the iconic and customary "Phantom of the Opera", the young company wrote their own music, only "Phantom", took their positions when the strong beat echoed.

"What is it? What is it?". Chittaphon manifested with a rehearsed pose.

"Hanging on the brink of unconsciousness

The nightmare shatters

Who had their fears manipulated?The rules of this world turned upside downAll the noise in my brainThe night takes over my every lookWhen it only gets louderYeah, it just gets harder"

They danced on the stage now devoid of adornments, the wood creaked rhythmically with the steps, with black clothes, only Xiao and WinWin with clearer details, due to their roles, they smiled gently at the mesmerized audience.

"A mysterious silhouette breaks the silence (tell me)

In the depths of the dream abyss, who dares to see? (let me)

Woah

Hey, who are you calling in your dream? 

The visions turn darkit makes me thinkThe moment it all began"

For the first time, Xiao DeJun was really paying attention to the lyrics, his comrades' theatrical words pierced his mind, generating a fine layer of sweat that contrasted with the chills his body was suffering. He kept his concentration, telling himself that it was just the nervousness... but why nervousness at this point? sensation of danger.

"Four, three, two, one time. 

A posture difficult to distinguish between good and bad

Footsteps of a masked existenceOn a journey of self-discovery

Because the truth doesn't exist"

He blinked slowly past his verses, swallowing hard. His will was to finish the performance as soon as possible, could it be that he was getting a cold? he lowered his gaze in sudden irritation.

"Like a phantom that is pulling my strings

Hey, oh, hey, oh, the puppeteer pulls the string and

The world loses control of this dark scene

The truth is buried and hidden by this unusual dreamUsing this mask to see beyond the facade

Chaos is fed through fear

Oh, standing in the dark

Only I can see the truth, so crazy

As if the face in your line of sight is clear

The light and shadow of truth are not yet lost

Fade out, phantom"

The music finally came to an end, the company made a near the edge of the wide stage, they smiled amused, bowing again received the last applause and the red and white flowers in pompous bouquets. In line they walked backstage, the shared dressing room was a mess, it was always like this after performances, hasty clothes changes, new costumes, they always stayed late to organize everything for the next day. The young people smiled among themselves, exchanging a group hug and congratulations.

"WE DID! WE KILL IT!". Ten shouted excitedly jumping up.

"We are invencibles when we're on stage!". Hendery looked like he had tears in his eyes.

"Dinner's on me!". Kun declared embracing Yangyang.

"And our guest, hyung?". Winwin questioned. "Did he enjoy the show?"

"Really, hyung, what did he say?". Xiao stopped his celebration to focus on the conversation.

"I still don't know, they didn't say anything when we left the stage". Knocks sounded at the door.

"If it had been rehearsed, it wouldn't work. —. Winwin and Xiao exchanged knowing glances.

Kun arranged his robes and formally walked to the door, a quick exchange of words, generating a smile and an expression of confusion, agreed, turning to his colleagues who were waiting for him anxiously.

"Then". Hendery asked.

"Xiao, our guest wants to talk to you". Kun looked worried, perhaps distressed.

"Why?". DeJun questioned straightening her uncomfortable outfit.

"I don't know, but he called you by name and he's waiting for you on the stage."

"Qian... what do you think?"

"That you should go soon, DeJun, you can't keep him waiting". The leader smiled trying to look confident.

"Why so scared of a guest, anyway? He's just a captain, it's not like he's going to recruit us.". Ten intervened irritably. "Xiao, you can go, anything, shout. Soon we will be there to help you."

"Thank you, hyung". He hugged his colleagues and walked out of the room.

Returning to the stage, the path felt different, maybe a little longer than usual. Initially, he noticed that there was no adornment in the place, as if it had been empty for ages, only a central spotlight was on, illuminating the slender and elegant figure that had his back to the actor. A suit that was a sober purple on one side, an oppressive black on the other. Hair organically swept back, he turned at the sound of the first footsteps on the hardwood floor. His face was gentle, definitely a gentle yet dangerous smile; his gaze was serious, analytical and strangely empty, features defined and harmonic, Xiao would bet a singer or even an actor if he didn't know his military rank.

"Nice to meet you, my name's Shim Chang-min." He held out his hand, showing his sharp black nails.

"Nice to meet you, you can call me Xiao DeJun". He greeted awkwardly.

"I was very impressed with your performance today, Mr. DeJun". Changmin said smiling. "From all of you, actually, but you've generated a lot of curiosity in me."

"Thank you, sir. We work hard every day."

"How long have you been with the company, Xiao?"

"I... ". He scratched his head in confusion. "Sorry sir, it's been so long I can't even remember."

"Don't worry". He smiled gentle. "This reaction is normal... after all, we lose track of time during work, right?"

"Yes sir."

"From the look in your eyes, I can see that you took the pills, that's why such a complicated dream". He seemed to comment more to himself than to the young man.

"Sorry?"

"Xiao DeJun, what is your earliest memory?". He questioned seriously.

"Why do you want to know that?". It was suddenly uncomfortable.

"A test."

"I don't intend to serve in the army, sir". A humorless laugh came to Chang-min's lips.

"I'm sure of that, but you entered the middle of a minefield without the slightest protection". He pondered.

"What? You? What do you mean?"

"Your earliest memory, DeJun."

"I was studying space...in a fraternity". Xiao didn't know why he started to speak, it didn't seem right, but he couldn't interrupt. "I had others with me...I...there was a hole in the ceiling...I woke up."

"There is still hope for you, Xiao DeJun, congratulations". An evil smile appeared.

"Who are you?"

"Already said."

"What are you?"

"A God". He shrugged.

"A God". He laughed in disbelief. "A god came to the theater to ask my memory?"

"It's not like I have a choice". Changmin rolled his eyes.

"A God"

"Do you want proof?"

"Definitely!"

"Sorry, but, i'll not give this to you. Humans and your disbelief is ridiculous, the one who has patience for you has always been Yunho... he had to disappear right now, but if we think about it, you're not even human anymore, are you?." . Chang-min fixed his suit. "Anyway, let's go on."

"What are you talking about? Of course I'm human."

"Humans don't pass through walls and solids like ghosts."

"This makes no sense."

"Humans don't need containment pills either."

"What the hell are you talking about?". He locked his jaw. "I'm leaving."

"Xiao DeJun, August 8, 1999, Year of the Rabbit". He started with a sour mood. "Guangdong, China."

"How... is this my information......"

"Maybe not that hopeful, but I can still use you."

"How do you know these things?"

"I told you, I'm a god."

"Why are you wasting time with me?"

"Orders. Generals...you know how it is."

"Are there general gods?"

"There is something much more powerful than that, but, we can call them that."

"OK."

"OK."

"What do you want with me?"

"In a few minutes, will sound the alarm, your colleague Chittaphon will take care of it, after that you won't have much time... you.". He thought for a while. "You picked a terrible place to pass out... don't worry, someone will find you anyway. I need you to guide your friends to the train."

"Train?"

"That's right, in the middle of the desert, the Kwangya train will pass by taking the entities to the Palace. You have to go in, there we can assess the damage done to your DNA."

"Why?Our DNA?"

"If I explain, I don't finish today and I don't have much time. It was hard enough getting in here. Get on the train". He seemed to ponder a few more seconds. "I don't think it's wise, but if you must, use your powers to protect yourself."

"You know I don't have powers, don't you?". Chang-min pursed his lips, seeming to hold back the urge to strangle the young man in front of him.

"You are a ghost, Xiao DeJun, use this."

"I played Christine, not the Phantom."

"I'll consider the pills so I don't call you stupid.". He smiled without humor. "You'll understand when you wake up. Just. Arrive. At. Fucking. Of. Train."

"Why me?". The young man still not quite convinced. "Why am I the nominee?"

"Because you are ready to obey, Xiao DeJun". He smiled crookedly, pretending to offer the young man a toast. "You already ran away, you just don't know it yet."

Before Xiao could retort, he began to feel his body react to an external movement, a slight jolt that increased every moment, insistent and nervous. A voice that was distant before, came closer each time, repeating a numerical sequence. His vision blurred and the man in front of him seemed to lose focus.

"Our time is up, ghost...". Suddenly the air rushed from his lungs and his vision darkened.

* * *

 "1000...1000...let's go.". You can hear apprehension in the voice." 1000, wake up at once!"

"Where are we?". Xiao voice came out hoarse, his throat hurt.

The evening wear was gone, along with the scenery; the ostentatious carvings gave way to a systematic sequence of pipes in a tight, body-checked hallway, now in a worn, black outfit with a few chains. The young man in front of him looked at him anxiously, seemed to want to talk, however, he looked around looking for something, an annoying siren echoed in the room, making his head throb, he wanted to scream for them to turn off, however, he decided to focus his attention on the man In front of her, her quick eye sweep stopped immediately on a dog tag pinned to the scribbled sweater.

"10110... ". He narrowed his eyes at the boy's face, they were in an environment with poor lighting, making his task difficult. "10110."

"Great, 1000, you're awake. Come on, get up!". He pulled up, dragging him a few steps. "We do not have much time. Come."

"10110... ". DeJun repeated lost, staring into the face of the man who was now supporting him.

"Yes, I'm 10110, I know my number. Pleasure, 1000.". He looked impatient. "You have to focus or you'll die, walk faster."

"Yangyang.". He spoke when remembering his theater companions, making the young man stop and stare with a dark look.

"How do you know that name?". He walked away suspiciously.

"I know you... The ghosts... we're WayV.". He said lost, trying to recover the memories.

"We are nothing... how do you know that name?". He was pulled by the collar. "Say it."

"I met you...in a dream...I don't know.". Seconds passed, Yangyang stared hard, seeming to assess the situation.

"I'll deal with you later, 1000.". He finally sentenced. "We don't have time to waste now, we have to go."

"XiaoJun."

"What?"

"My name is XiaoJun."

"Fine... use your skills to move faster, XiaoJun.". Yangyang indicated the hall.

XiaoJun swallowed the question on the tip of his tongue and started to run after Yangyang who was leading the way. The siren continued to wail, getting louder and louder, followed by an irritated march followed by gunfire. He ran through closed corridors, dark and blindly, just following the man who had woken him up, he wasn't even sure what he was running, however, the nausea in the pit of his stomach warned that it wasn't something good; at some point, they bumped into a group of young people. The WayV...

"Don't ask, DeJun, just keep running.". Yangyang warned when Xiao threatened to open his mouth, he knew those boys, however, questions should be for later.

They continued their nervous and flustered flight, managing to break into one of the exits of the tower that held them captive. A messy building, filled with dead-end corridors, twisted metal, and empty cells. They were faced with a revolting ocean, dark, as well as the storm above their heads, which had the skies illuminated only by the rays and lightning that tore the horizon. Before he could take a step towards the freedom he didn't remember needing to reach, a chill ran down his spine and the melodious voice echoed in his ears.

"Get on the train, ghost."