#they don’t give a fuck anymore lol
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Rewatched Juggernaut and wow—
Hunter and Crosshair really just… punted their sanities all the way to Tantiss in the hopes that Omega catches them 😅
#they don’t give a fuck anymore lol#wrecker was in a Mood too like jennifer was saying back in april#but he hung on to his sanity#jeez guys chill tf out lol#the bad batch#star wars#tbb season 3#tbb hunter#tbb crosshair#tbb omega
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Sorry to say but the 2000s and early 10s deserve the nostalgia it gets everything was new it was a transitional period worth mourning over so many new design styles were birthed during that time
#Txt#i do t give a fuck about the 80s tho lol#I think the 70s is also special#I just don’t like how ppl think young ppl are being nostalgic over nothing#The murky animation of the 2000s is the most special thing to me it has style and heart todays anime look so boring in comparison#I think this is lowkey why I don’t watch anime that much anymore#There’s almost no style everything looks like mappas signature ugly color palette#They should make more anime like wolfs rain yknow
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I rly don’t see how ppl be 20+ shipping kids anymore tbh… like, it’s so rampant and I don’t see the appeal to it anymore being as tho I’m in my late 20’s.
#I’m grown….. it always baffles me to see it like man I don’t care I don’t find joy in it anymore since I’m not a teenager#I just look at them and think they’re like my fake son… daughter nephew niece whatever lol#give me the struggling and mentally fucked up 20+ year old give me those middle age bitches man if I’m going to like a ship now anyway#like i don’t care about the romance between kids man it sucks that this is such a huge thing in most fandom spaces#not that I participate in said spaces since ppl are annoying and embarrassing#also very nasty#sns is diff tho like that’s a whole other thing 🪽#sns is just a classic it’s legendary it transcends space and time it it-#I’m so glad that jjk is full of adults tho lmfaoo#one of Gege’s only W’s… especially impressive for a shounen#i like jjk outside of the goiji pairings too like I just genuinely enjoy it despite how awful it is now lol#again#I do think that ppl need to learn how to become more comfortable with enjoying media outside of shipping tho#like there’s nothing wrong with it obviously but I’m talking more like how tons of ppl only get into a new series for the sole purpose#of shipping instead of engaging with said media and the story that it’s trying to tell…#this is why fanon and wild insane hc’s usually get out of control too to the point where those who might be interested in checking out#a series might be deterred because they don’t even know what the show is about because the only stuff that ppl see about the thing is ship#stuff and like discourse#and the behavior of the fans…#these ppl be 30+ arguing with teenagers man it’s crazy to me#I just think there needs to be a balance lol#like still go crazy. Have fun and all but you get it#but anyway. with all that being said! Goiji stays winning in my heart 🚶🏾♀️#rambling
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#Noah schnapp is Dead to me lol#i still love will but fuck him#I literally don’t Care anymore I’ve tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but I can’t anymore
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I cannot believe the wicked games Drabble was 5000 words long like basically a full ass fic and the low amount of notes it got…
#it makes my heart literally SINK like…#now how am I supposed to post wg4 which is 25k words????#it will not get any interaction and I’m just done#like I just cannot post it#it’ll legit kill me 🥲🥲🥲🥲 to see it flop#after I poured my heart and soul into writing something so fucking long and making sure it was good#just bc I knew I had to give you guys something long and exciting to read#but what’s the point#like I cannot believe it… I literally just cannot believe it and I don’t want to post anything anymore#omfg#I know many people will read this and roll their eyes and find this annoying#like I’m complaining or whatever#honestly think what you want to think#I’m just so shocked and legit unhappy#like so fucking unhappy#like bummed the fuck out#that it’s come to this#I don’t wanna post shit anymore lol#idk if it’s the algorithm or genuinely people don’t fuck with my fics anymore#I just don’t understand#but you guys have to understand how it would kill me on the inside if I posted a 25k fic and it got next to no interaction#like I just….#I’m scared it would make me quit writing completely#bc I’m THIS close#I feel so fucking sad bro idek#like it makes me wanna fucking cry#how… a few months ago everything was fine#now it feels like everyone’s gone#and I wasted my fucking time writing a chapter so fucking long that no one’s gonna read#WHY DID I WASTE MY TIME
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My afraid-of-romance ass has just been asked by another regular customer for my number and the stupid thing is that again I do think this guy is kinda cute and I really probably should say yes
#the fear tho lmao#what am I afraid of? I have no fucking clue#this is why I’m still questioning my sexuality lol like what am I? do I even actually like guys? do I like anyone?#in an existential spiral at the moment#but honestly why do they always ask for my number#like dude just give me yours and let me make the decision when you’re not right here in front of me#but I felt bad telling him no today just because the last time a customer asked and I said yes I almost immediately regretted it#and then that didn’t work out because I thought he was too young#young* and now he still sometimes comes by and I just feel awkward about it#maybe I should turn to Facebook and see if I can find him because I have set an age limit for myself and I really don’t want to entertain#anyone younger than that#but I’m……… I know I’m like never active in here anymore#but I just needed to talk about this somewhere#because any of my coworkers would probably tell me I’m being ridiculous or they’d just seriously keep questioning why I keep saying no to#customers that hit on me and my best friend would probably also not get it#idk y���all I just needed to rant about it/talk about it#anyway I’m definitely gonna stress over this until tomorrow#and I’m gonna feel really bad if he stops coming by
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is there any handbooks or whatnot on what the half illithid state would give or is that just a bg3 thing but anyway in my interpretation I imagine it literally opens up shri’iia’s mind and now her senses are heightened, she’s so hyper aware of everything and she probably can see shrimp colours. i also think the language barrier falls apart too, and she’s able to speak freely in common or whatever language like it’s her own and I think it’s def easier for her to infiltrate anyone’s mind and communicate telepathically like a mindflayer does. the illithid powers comes easier too, and she performs it as if she has already done it a thousand times since there’s no need for practice ; it feels as if it’s innate and the temptation to unlock more of this power and develop herself further is so very present since she’s aware she’s barely scratching the surface of what this newfound form offers. what more could she do if she embraced this form? how great could she be? but then her more human side would come back and she’d find herself more disturbing. the insecurity over this new form would return as well as the regret since she was barely finding her own self before, now she’s lost it again.
#regression arc shri’iia where she fully embraced the ceremorphosis bc she doesn’t think her past self - the failed paladin is worth#anything 🥳 with no one to devote herself to - with her goddess rejecting her - how is she meant to serve when they don’t want her devotion#but then this new form gives her power…. makes her better than she was and better than she will ever be#bc in that scenario she doesn’t think she can go on as an oath breaker and she refuses to pursue that freedom#bc it’s new and unsettling. she uses the ceremorphosis her ticket out#which is - once again - a choice acted from her fears lol#but I like that constant dilemma with half illithid shri’iia where she’s so tempted to just say fuck it and embrace this new thing#but bc she’s been exploring this new freedom and herself prior she doesn’t want to give up on herself anymore too#so she actively refuses it. just use her new illithid powers when it’s necessary but not indulge in it#ntm she didn’t even take the worm bc she wanted to - it was out of impulse bc of her own fears once again#like rlly big part of the oathbreaker arc is her not being so scared anymore. n to b brave!! not just in battle…#on a lighter note I do like the thought of illithid shri’is just telepathically talking to people lmfao#like she’ll just say random shit. refuse to elaborate then leave#also I think when she speaks common fluently it feels foreign in her mouth like it doesn’t feel right but she sounds right#like it’s someone else saying the words for her but it’s her voice and her thoughts. but it just doesn’t feel right#and when the worms are gone she loses this ability and she has to learn all over again 😔#but how exhilarating it would be for her to actually express her own thoughts and opinions#and there’s no language hindering her. like that’s such a special moment I think#shut up about bg3.
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painting walls today and going to get the furniture moved tomorrow leggoooo
#behind my parents back bc they keep trying to procrastinate and i’m done lol#like literally fuck off#you’re not making me dependent on you anymore if i can help it#started trying to paint the walls myself and they got pissed as if i’m an idiot who can’t paint a wall#and guess what even if i am the biggest idiot ever ***i*** paid for all the paint stuff#and i don’t give a fuck if i ruin it#it’s my money to burn fuck off#lyriumsings txt
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Craziest advertising flaw I’ve seen in my life is: it’s impossible to look up “spider catcher” or even “spider catcher for arachnophobes” without EVERY. SINGLE. PRODUCT. having a blown up picture of a spider in it.
#absolutely fucked imo#even articles that line up a few of the products either: 1) blatantly have pictures of spiders in the article#or 2) don’t give any warnings that links will go to pictures with giant spdrs in them#😭😭😭😭#I’ve seen maybe 1 spdr-catcher advertisement that doesn’t have a giant realistic spdr in it#mypost#it’s a relatively niche problem (ik ppl are scared of spdrs on the reg. but I’m talking abt my phobia which comes with like. visual and#physical hallucinations + bone chilling fear + bodily reactions I can’t control lol)#but JESUSSSS IF I LOOK UP ‘spdr catchers for arachnophobes’ THERE SHOULD AT LEAST BE SOME ARTICLES AND PRODUCTS THAT DONT FEATURE FKCN SPDR#PICTURES!!!!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬#have asked ppl in my life to help me look it up b4 but they just don’t look that hard 😭#found one years ago that kindof works (is like a mini-vacuum. the nozzle is long but the handle is too close to the holding chamber imo.)#but 1) I had to re-tape the holding chamber bc wjdhiwhsiwujduwhw [traumatic redacted experience that is easily guessable]#and 2) it’s fckn old now and is not working well anymore. which is a liability bc ong I still have this phobia and no matter how pissed I#am abt it. and no matter how much ‘exposure therapy’ I have.#I still can’t sleep in my room/go to the bathroom if there’s been a big one in there 👍 ESP if they never got caught#freaking myself out writing abt this 👍🙂↕️😔#bc I’m freaked out bc there was one in my room last night and it’s still missing so idk maybe I’m sleeping on the couch again tonight sheug#¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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one of my managers triggered my ocd so bad and now i feel like everyone at work secretly thinks i am a horrible person and i want to quit and i know it’s not real but like!!!!!!
#jtext#like she’s the one that steals our cash tips#so i shouldn’t give a fuck anyway#like this was a vague but passive aggressive message left#in the schedule app that had multiple concerns#it didn’t put anyone on blast or anything#but it was a bunch of stuff that were not previously established as rules#and she searched all of our lockers#so now i won’t take my stuff into work anymore#only my car keys in my pocket#i don’t even want to speak to her anymore im so fucked up abt her touching my things in my locker#like i put an expired piece of cake in my locker which we were allowed to do#but she took it out of my locker and mentioned it in this post#and it just wasn’t a rule before lol#the other managers would literally pass them out to us#or take them home too#actually she said no food at all in lockers and i still had other food that i bought in there#anyway now i feel like a glutton for taking expired cake that was going to sit down there and go bad#my coworkers were even stealing soup and eating it at the lockers just tonight#but i still feel so bad lmfao jrekndmdbtnend#also she literally didn’t say anything to me abt it#and posted it WHILE i was working my 2nd shift#so i felt like a clown bc she didn’t let me know it was a rule or anything
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Just found out someone from my last fandom called my art shit looking compared to someone, lol even lmao
#cracken whispers#i don’t even care anymore lol#I’ll give this person the benefit of the doubt that she’s new to it and don’t know what I did for this shitole fandom#yeah I know my art looks really fucking terrible and I’m constantly improving. still kinda rude#I’m also insecure#leave me alone
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Pondering bottom surgery in the tags I mf guess
#I’ve been. thinking abt bottom surgery again after having accepted for a while that I would probably never get it#for context early on in my transition I was dead set on phallo but then T and my other surgeries satisfied me enough to not need it#+ for phallo I would have had to keep an arm or leg free of tattoos and I just did not want to wait on that#not considering it would probably be at least a decade. tattoos were and are more important#+ the more I started to enjoy using what I have I was like. it is simply not medically necessary anymore#like would I like to have a **** yes. do I need one to live a happy life no#being bi complicates things for me too bc it depends a little bit who I marry#don’t want to tailor my body to a specific relationship esp if it doesn’t last forever but it does make a difference#current partner is nonbinary and wants phallo so that does not make things simpler lol#I want a body that allows the most affirming possible relationship w the person I intend to marry#I also don’t want to end up hindering things w future partners should that not happen#anyway I say all this to say. I had never considered meta as an option bc I didn’t think it would do much for me#lot of effort and money and healing for not as drastic a change. wouldn’t solve my biggest bottom dysphoria issues#however. starting to think it could be the middle ground I’m looking for as a gnc/genderfluid person#it would be less surgeries. less complicated n expensive. less changes to my current anatomy#esp if I don’t do everything you Can do w meta. I could do like half of all that or less#I don’t wanna risk giving up the things I can do now without knowing if I’ll enjoy the new possibilities#but this could be a way to just kinda feel more affirmed without it changing my life all that much#I think just the act of undergoing bottom surgery would be affirming. like I’ve done Everything I’m a binary male thru and thru. transexual#and I wouldn’t have to keep wondering if I’ll do it someday or if I should#not that I can any time soon I’m uninsured. insurance prob wouldn’t even cover it#but just. the more I look into it and think abt it + the more serious my relationship gets the more I lean towards it#my partner talking increasingly abt wanting bottom surgery asap is influencing me too ngl not even in a jealousy way#just. I can’t deal w the possibility of a partners phallo fucking up my relationship w my body Again. I would need to know what I want#man. I can’t even go to therapy to talk thru it. on account of being uninsured#mine#txt#personal
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SORRY I KNOW U SAID U DONT WANT TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT THIS AND YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO ANSWER THIS ASK OR U CAN ANSWER IT PRIVATELY IF YOU'D RATHER i just really cant shut up ever and one thing i cant stand is fic writers getting shit in any capacity like omg what is up with unsolicited 'advice'? in some ways i find it WORSE than if people were just actively rude bc it's so backhanded and passive aggressive that you can't really respond how you want to bc they're not technically being nasty and they say it under the guise of being 'helpful' and it's just YUCK. like shut up!!!! who even asked you!!!!! writing fic is a free, beautiful hobby and for some reason people feel entitled to it in ways they really wouldn't with literally any other hobby and it does my head in, so pls pls dont feel like ur being sensitive. that's the main reason im sending an ask bc i get you've acknowledged that it's annoyed you and why so again sorry if im beating a dead horse here, it's just i hate to see you undermining your feelings about something that IS genuinely really frustrating and disheartening. like it will never not baffle me how oblivious some ao3 commenters are to how much their words can impact a writer. just like you, 99% of all my comments are positive, and yet i can probably list verbatim the handful of not-so-nice comments ive had in the years ive been on ao3 bc they just STICK with me. so yeah. you're very valid and i know you dont need me to tell you but you've got a whole army of people who love your work and have your back, so just remember that when someone decides to be obnoxious xxx
Haha hella I adore you & I don’t ever want you to stop talking.
Yeah I think the reason it irked me more this time was because after I got a few scattered comments I didn’t enjoy I kindly asked people not to do it anymore & then the very next chapter someone did it lol. & even asked if I was getting enough sleep … like…. damn it… really?
again I do think I’m being sensitive because fuck it I’m probably not getting enough sleep haha but damn you don’t gotta call me out like that! Lol. & I get so many wonderful comments and fanart and asks and all that jazz but I can’t help but hyper-fixate on the one not so nice comment haha
& then I over think everything & it ruins the fun hobby I’m supposed to be enjoying lol
I love that you get it, thanks for always being so awesome & now for the second or third time coming to have my back. You’re the best hella :)<3
#I wasn’t going to post anymore of these but I’ll probably post one more#idk maybe other fanfic writers can see it and know we are all going through it#it doesn’t matter who you are#or what you write#there is always some asshole who has access to the internet#that’s going to give their fucking opinion#but yeah I’m always really nice in my responses because I’m so awkward in those situations#I’m just smiling and laughing and saying wwwtttffffffffff#idk I did tell the last commenter to fuck all the way off though lol#they caught me in a MOOD though#thanks for sending this ask hella#& even the last time I was upset about it you let me vent to you#so that was cool#you’re one of the good one hella!!#& im sorry a you get stupid comments too#but im pretty confident the TAOB following would stab a bitch who was rude to you#as they should#don’t fuck with ao3 writers we aren’t paid enough to take your shit people#(get it…. cause we aren’t paid at all….. haha)#ok thanks again hella#hella1975#ask
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genuinely so angry and scared im shaking. how many other times this week this month this year have i been exposed without knowing it. do people even tell each other anymore. it’s just so grim. it’s so fucking grim
#purrs#delete later#covid19#i am fighting for my fucking life every day to stay safe and to keep the people around me some of whom are disabled / chronically ill /#immunocompromised / medically vulnerable safe. i am fucking fighting for my life. it’s already hard that i am usually one of two people in#any given room still wearing a mask let alone an n95 mask. hard and bad enough that we get looks for wearing masks and people think im crazy#for my life still being on hold and for my family still basically never going anywhere. ITS FUCKING WORSE that we are still very much in the#throes of all of it and we are in constant physical and quite frankly EXISTENTIAL danger not only of getting sick / becoming (more)#disabled / literally fucking dying but also returning to the absolute hell of lockdown which while important was psychologically damaging in#ways that are difficult to even articulate. like not only have we as a society decided to not give a shit about unpacking all of that and#healing from the trauma and assuming everyone went through the same thing when we very much did not and to just send everybody back to#school and work because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 but we have ALSO decided to pretend like the freakish unceasing danger just doesn’t exist#anymore and to get rid of every tool we had available to keep us safe or at minimum make people have to pay exorbitant amounts of money to#access them because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 !!!!!!! im TIRED. im so fucking tired of it. i am so fucking exhausted and angry and scared. and i#HAVE the luxury and privilege of being able to afford n95 masks and covid tests and to be able to work a job that i can do remotely if i#need to and to not be disabled or immunocompromised. what makes me fucking furious is we decided to throw all the people who don’t have#that access or privilege under the fucking bus and forget about them lol. but what do you expect from a country rotten to its core the way#it is lol. im fucking despondent. why are we living in an incinerator.#* the lockdown(s) werent just important they were necessary. and arguably we should have another one even though if we do i genuinely fear#for my mental health both during and afterwards and quite frankly before. im tired. i am grateful for the life i live which has resulted in#part from the different things that have happened because of the pandemic but i also so desperately wish this never happened and every day I#think about what life would be like if it hadn’t happened. the grief of it all is unspeakably big.
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🤕!
#how to accept the fact that you are liked but not by the people who you wish would like you#and the people that do like you are great but they’re not filling the space that you want them to fill#and that maybe you should just settle for and in fact embrace the people who like you and stop being scared of them#and that maybe you should also let go of the people you wish liked you#god. i just don’t know what to do with myself#bc i keep telling myself im so unloved and friendless and that nobody cares about anything i have to say#but that’s actually not as true as i think it is#and maybe if i were to reach out to people who are already in my life without fear i would feel a little less pathetic and generally hated#rather than trying and failing to reach out to people who don’t give a fuck about me anymore#but its so overwhelmingly difficult and scary#i just want my old friends back. but they put zero effort in towards me#so i should just stop hurting myself by trying to push it#idk. i should be writing my paper rn LOL!#diary
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saw film girl omw to a shoot 😷
#integral info for you guys#i’m zooming by passenger princess car moment tho#hate that we’re kind of neighbors still. i hope her alleged stoner era is ruined occasionally by the fact that i taught her how to smoke#lotta cred to give to myself but whatever. i’m also pretty sure she and bf are having a bad time or broke up. lol#sorry. things i don’t care about as much anymore but it’s fun to see from afar since we’re still in like adjacent circles#not FUN. no i should be mean.#like. hm. id still hook up with her. forget i admitted that but also it’s to be expected#i think we should have at sum point psychosexual cheating hate fucked.#but it’s okay :-) i’ve mostly healed and am just bored lol#abby talks
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