#they decided to get drunk

[crazydaymycrazyway]

Kayden: Was I really that drunk?

Jiwoo: The police were called because you were being too loud.

Kartein: Surely I did something-

Jiwoo: When they asked for your names, you pointed at your face and said "If you didn't identify this glorious face, you are unworthy of knowing the name the most handsome man to ever exist"

[doctorsiren]

The books reveal that Ford is actually a secret partier

(Available as a print on my Etsy Shop)

(wips under cut)

[vulcan-moon]

"he did not say that!" "he did, and then--"

anyways, girlies gossiping

[still-searching-for-something]

This sounds cheesy and corny as fuck, but I'm going to be honest. A major source of comfort and strength in this antisemitic world for me has been Captain America.

He was created by Jews to be an allegory for the golem story, adapted into American comic books (because who else but Jews would work in such a lowly profession?) and written off as some nerdy thing only weirdos cared about, with zero relevance for the modern world. And he is, today, one of the most recognizable icons of pop culture and fiction.

But it isn't just his real world story. It's also his words, which, as a writer, are important to me.

That line was so good they put it in the movies:

And I know for a fact that the world is telling me something wrong (antisemitism) is something good. They have decided hating Jews is trendy and cutting edge again. And I will endure as many 'genocide denier' and 'child killer' and 'Zionist colonizer' accusations as they want to throw at me, because I know this:

Hatred of a people for simply being who they are is wrong. Hatred of Jews for being Jews is evil and disgusting.

So you know what? Fuck you.

You move.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

yall like to pretend that "don't split up" is the most obvious rule in any horror scenario, but what's the alternative? stick together and cooperate ? to find a solution? in a life-or-death situation??? babe surely you have been in enough group projects to guess how that shit ends

[andavs]

I’m pinballing back and forth between “Buck and Eddie are fucking idiots who get blackout drunk and lose Chimney somewhere stupid” and “they all get drugged and it’s kind of fucked up actually” and I hate that with 911 they’re equally likely to happen.

[nelkcats]

Scamming the scammer

John Constantine was the biggest headache Danny had managed to get, ever. After becoming King he did not think that his first task would be to solve the man's soul problems.

And it seemed quite incredible to him that the hellbazer would consider selling his soul as if it were a used car that he wants to get rid of to buy a new one. He was aware that he needed a soul, wasn't he? That it was not possible to buy a new one? Because he didn't want to be the one to inform him if that was not the case.

To top it off, beings from different domains within his kingdom came explicitly to claim the British's soul, which didn't even make sense, there were thousands of souls! Why did everyone want the same one? And why did he have to be the one to take care of it?

Completely frustrated, he placed all the paperwork for John Constantine in an empty room and locked the door. He smiled as he came up with a plan to improve the situation, it might be worth it.

That's how a drunk John Constantine found himself signing a dubious contract in exchange for the power to turn any liquid into beer, he didn't bother to read the contract, most demons just wanted his soul and this guy looked so human, with a presence so light it must be a minor demon for sure.

This turned out to be a bad decision when the next morning he found himself trapped in a room full of documents, the door locked. Taped to the door was a green note that said "Enjoy doing your own paperwork sir, I hope you're pleased with yourself", and well, maybe he should have read that contract after all.

[horribluh]

hilarious mpreg zosan thought, sanji has a kid that has green hair but its not zoros kid. he has in fact never disclosed who the other father was (choose ur own adventure dead beat dad edition) and his siblings already have amazing technicolour hair so its not outside the realm of possibility for his biological children to also have weird hair colours. but when the kid pops out with green hair everyone immediately connects the dots that hey, doesnt the strawhats first mate that sanji famously doesn't get along with also have green hair? is this why sanji never said who the other father was? hes a fucking dead beat! get his ass!

this misconception integrates into everyones mind bc it makes too much sense to not be true and everyone is suddenly deadset on "protecting sanjis honour" and making zoro "take responsibility"

sanji is screaming crying throwing up disgusted bc no!!! the shitty mosshead is not the father!!! stop saying that!!!! but since he still wont say who the actual father is, everyone is just like its ok sanji, you dont have to defend a deadbeat even if he is your crewmate and sanji has no choice but to kill himself and also zoro for daring to have green hair

when the strawhats show up for sanjis baby shower they also unanimously come to the misunderstanding that sanji and zoro totally boned. franky goes as far as to call the kid mini marimo. brook makes a hundred innuendos, chopper is upset at the implication of them having unsafe sex, and robin alludes to "knowing all along" in a very ambiguous way. usopp is the only one who refuses to connect the dots and he is sanjis favourite strawhat fr. jinbei pats sanji on the back and says he hopes they work through their differences for the sake of their kid. sanji is dying, youre killing him, you're killing your cook

even more shenanigans ensue when zoro shows up 3 whole days late to the baby shower and is gaslit into thinking hes the father by everyone in attendance despite being Pretty Sure that he and sanji never fucked. zeff gives a pretty good shovel talk and nami gives an even better one (debt increment is involved) while zeff nods approvingly behind her and then luffy slingshots in all parents should be married right? and doesnt wait for an answer

anyway, like 2 hours later zosan find themselves standing at a makeshift altar on the thousand sunny, saying their vows. sanji insists to the very end that zoro is not the father so they dont need to get married but alas luffy isnt giving him a choice in this (he wants to eat wedding cake)

to sanjis eternal despair, the kid grows up to really like swords

additional zosan thought, sanji does not help things by shouting "this is all your fault!" the moment he sees zoro. zoro is futher gaslit

[corsairspade]

Halenthir scenario where they get married for tax benefits (in a platonic good friends sort of way) and fall in love long distance via sending each other letters with ideas on how to best leverage their marriage for tax evasion.

[box-dwelling]

Honestly my personal Shadowzel head canon is that shadowheart is uming and arring about catching strong feelings in a friend with benefits weird situationship because lae'zel doesn't seem to want more, while lae'zel is convinced she is with the love of her life.

This is mostly on Shadowheart for not bothering to work at a cultural barrier but it's also a little on Lae'zel who refuses to use any terms of endearment that aren't in Githyanki, a language she mostly switches to in order to insult people.

[the-reggie-black]

GUYSSZS LOOK SD MG BOYFRIEND HESBSOSSOSO PRETTY IM GOING TO CRY I WANST TO BITE HIM

@barty-loves-bats

[jeannemarythefourth]

my take on the programming for mercymorn’s 24 minute funeral:

00:00 to 00:30: greetings and hellos.

00:31 to 1:00: viewing of the body.

01:01 to 02:30: gideon’s funeral speech. he can say whatever he’d like, but it cannot be longer than a minute and a half.

02:45 to 05:00: john’s funeral speech. pre-written; time is allowed for 25 seconds of free-styling at the end.

05:15 to 08:34: the playing of landslide by fleetwood mac. mercy hated this song, and hated every time john tried to play pre-resurrection music for the gang; she included it in her funeral so that john can never listen to it again without being reminded of said funeral and her continuing deadness.

09:00 to 12:00: cremation and mourning. if augustine doesn’t cry, someone is required to pinch his arm until he does.

12:01 to 20:00: the afterparty. mercy has calculated exactly how much alcohol is required to get each attendant perfectly wasted, and requires beverages to be consumed at intervals specific to each individual to fulfill this. limes MUST be cut prior.

20:01 to 20:45: john’s drunken teary speech. not pre-written, but gideon is required to cut him off at the 45 second mark

20:46 to 22:30: attendants must go beyond wasted and into blackout territory.

22:31 to 23:30: augustine’s speech. not pre-written; john is required to cut him off at the 1 minute mark

23:31 to 24:00: formal goodbyes

24:01 to infinity: mercy’s continuing deadness

[therealraewest]

Dungeons and Dragons movie is just everybody wants to adopt Chris Pine's kid which honestly is super in-character for party members interacting with an adorable child NPC

[nisazeee]

Hi! Will briefly say at the beginning that I'm a big fan of everything you draw and you're a huge inspiration to me. You sharing your ideas, opinions and art is one of the main things that motivated me to start sharing some of my own. So thank you! I hope you're doing well.

As for request, maybe some drunken shenanigans 'cause that can only go well... (don't booo me it's totally a canon thing that took place at some point, providing recently discovered evidence from Tokyo Grows)

All in the name of science I guess

OK FIRST OF ALL. WHAT THE HELL THANJ YOU SO MUCH I AM SO HONORED BC I ABSOLUTLEY A D O R E HOW U DRAW THE MICE!!!!! I AM SO HAPPY YOU DECIDED TO SHARE YOUR ART!!!

Second of all whos the guy who put sake into their water bottle

Third of all here is the skerchebfbsfgbsjf

[speckaboo]

I never thought I'd meet another character that was a bigger walking disaster than Jon, but turns out we got plenty

[a-lonely-dunedain]

ok question! related to this post by @gwynbleiddyn that I see resonated with the folks here on lotro tumblr:

the devs have given you permission to add 1 (one) quest of your design into the game, specifically doing something fun/low-stakes with one or more Rangers post-war. What are you doing and with which Ranger(s)?

I'll go first: (under the cut bc it got longer than intended)

Corunir has been enlisted to help do repairs in the lower circles of Minas Tirith. And by "enlisted" I mean "Corunir Does Not Know How to Take A Break and needs to be constantly helping people, so he showed up wouldn't leave until the foreman gave him something to do"

Now, as this quest would have to be located in Minas Tirith Midsummer, the foreman is not particularly comfortable saddling this war-hero with busywork when he should be celebrating the end of the war he helped bring about! nevermind that that's what literally every other quest in midsummer is making the PC do shh don't worry about it

ANYWAY, he's got a plan, but he needs your help with it. Around dusk, he wants you to tell Corunir that there's some repairs that need done on the top of the wall at east side of the 2rd circle, which coincidentally just so happens to be where the best view of the fireworks they're setting off at the gates is. Also be sure to bring along this plate of snacks and some comfy pillows to sit on.

so when Corunir gets up there he's like "that's weird, I don't see any damage up here-" and then he sees the fireworks starting to go off, that you brought snacks, and puts two and two together and is like "oh darn, it looks like I've been tricked into watching a fireworks show, you devious trickster you (affectionate)"

so you guys get to hang out and watch the fireworks for a bit, and afterwards Corunir laughs at the fact that you literally had to trick him into relaxing and having a good time. Perhaps you have a point, he should allow himself some time to actually enjoy the peace they fought so hard for. He recalls Radanir had proposed the Rangers should do a pub-crawl later, and now thinks he should take him up on the offer. (and, of course, the PC should be allowed to join in, but alas I'm only allowed to add One quest as per my own rules lol)