#they care a lot for each other and love seeing each other happy with people who they’ve made a home with and AUGH i love them

[deathlygristly]

The spousal person and I chose each other when we were 18. We're 44 and 43 now (I'm seven months older than him which I'm sure scandalizes antis, like I could roll over on my own while he was still a fetus so clearly I am preying on him) and we are still very happily monogamous.

Here's the thing though.

We're both autistic, neither of us grew up religious (well, the spousal person went to Catholic school K-8 but he never believed in it), we both lost a parent before we met (my father died when a month after I turned 7 and his mother died when he was 17, a few months before we met) and on our first date when we were 18 we both agreed that we did not want children and that we cared more about being happy than about outward markers of success and status.

Now 25 years later we don't have kids but we do have a lot of cats, and I often tell him that my dream is for him and the kitties to be happy and he says his is for me and the kitties to be happy. :)

We got married when we were 21, in a drive-thru chapel in Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge. No rings, no fancy outfits, no guests, nothing like that. Just paperwork and then driving around to the window for the officiant to say the official words, lol. I didn't change my last name.

I've been learning more about autism lately and listening to the Autistic Culture podcast and things, and maybe it's the autism, I don't know. Neither of us really understand conformity or social pressure. Neither of us are real good at socializing long term with other people. We like our routines and our rituals. We're comfortable with each other and very much not comfortable around strangers. Dealing with other people is A Lot for us.

The main thing though is that it was all completely our own choice, from the moment I emailed him and asked if he wanted to hang out without our other friends to now, when I am sitting here with a cat in my lap and he's in the kitchen making a dinner that we both talked about and chose, and then we'll eat it while watching two kdrama episodes that we talked about and chose.

Also I get really confused about things I see on here about marriage and relationships with dudes, because I don't recognize any of what the haters are saying. The spousal person does all the housework except vacuuming. I don't do all the emotional stuff. We take care of each other and support each other. He's really cool and fun and I love him more than the universe and when we're watching a kdrama and something funny happens and he laughs and I look back at him and I hear his laugh and I see his face....it's the most beautiful perfect experience in existence and I want to be near him for always.

But if you didn't choose it, if you felt pressured into it by society or religion or family, if you don't even like the person you're building your life with, if you don't support each other and you don't talk and you don't feel free to be yourself and you're just performing to please some weird external Other....yeah, I can see that being awful.

If what you really want is monogamy and lifelong commitment, you absolutely cannot force it on an unwilling pseudopartner. Domination is not commitment. Abuse is not commitment. Performing to please an external other is not commitment.

To me commitment isn't hard at all. It's the easiest thing in the world. It's just hanging out forever with my most best friend who is also the coolest cutest human to ever exist in all possible realities.

But based on what I've learned about other people since I got internet access...it's not going to be easy if you can't accept yourself for who you are and if you care more about conformity and social status than your own happiness and if you haven't taken responsibility for your own emotions and you aren't willing to work on healing your own trauma.

And if you do work on healing your own trauma and take responsibility for your emotions and get comfortable with who you are and with respecting other people as their own unique self and you find that what you want is polyamory or being single or whatever, go for it! That can be commitment too, to a steady set of multiple partners or to yourself and your own integrity.

I don't know. I think the point is that domination and abuse and forcing others never works and never results in long term happiness, no matter the number of people involved. You gotta respect the autonomous selves of others if you want mature committed relationships, of whatever kind.

Gotta stop here because he says dinner is ready. :)

everybody talks about men in trad marriages having affairs with their secretaries but it’s worth noting a lot of women back then had side pieces too. you can force a woman to submit to you legally but you can never force her to love you or maintain fidelity against her will. you can get rid of no fault divorce and get rid of abortion but you can’t get rid of fun.

[diorcities]

⠀   ⠀ ── . 🛹 𖦹 ⋆ ࣪.  dream in college

happy reading. requested. library.

haechan. leather jackets. a different vape every day. smoking in the parking lot at night. he always carries a pair of headphones, wired ones. talks with everyone but lowkey lonely. attends to parties often, he's the guy you'd ask your friend to introduce you to. he's an open book, but at the same time he's full of secrets. if you take away all the jokes he makes, he's actually intelligent. relaxed. he'd probably do well in economics or administration. a first-class heartthrob, flirting comes out lightly and easily. or so they say, because when it comes to you, haechan is just a whole bunch of babbling and gaffes.

chenle. law or finance. he sees himself managing his family's company. no one beats him in class discussions, no one except you. you'd probably start a rivalry that grows and grows until you can't stand to see each other in the same place. expensive cars, elite parties, and a scandal in a hotel room. although his parents have mansions and luxurious apartments all over the world, he prefers the comfort of university dormitories. he doesn't attend parties much, his father cut off his credit card when he gave the whole party rounds of alcohol last time. he's pretty good at the dead stare when someone says something stupid. probably has the appearance of being petty, but in reality he's a moron with a lot of money. has a soft spot for smart girls, that's why he can't stand liking you.

mark. he misses most of the classes, but he's a brainiac. a bit popular but only because he's friends with popular people. doesn't know how he got the girl. architecture or robotics. he doesn't like parties very much but he attends because you're there. loud music on headphones. paper crafts . love letters. if you invite him home to study, you end up watching movies. and then when you fall asleep on his shoulder, he has no choice but fall asleep with you, head over yours. his hand somehow ends up intertwined with your fingers when you wake up. he's definitely not calm when it comes to you. he always shows how much he likes you. you simply don't read his misinterpreted signs well.

jeno. parent's sweetheart. multifaceted. bruises and sweat from the lacrosse team. he must maintain his sports scholarship by getting good grades, so he asks you for help. to you? a four-eyed one? what a horror! he breaks the prototype of a tough boy, he doesn't really know how big and strong he is. sometimes he gets tongue tied when he gets nervous... it happens a lot around you when you ask him big questions. he hasn't decided a career yet, so he takes some basic subjects. you make it look easy, he wishes he could have your brain, but he's satisfied with hearing you talk and talk and talk... he is also an easy sleeper. if he goes to parties it's because he's dragged you with him, but in the end his friends get all his attention and he leaves you at your mercy. his eyes, however, stay on you at all times, and his gaze becomes heavier when he sees you talking to a guy across the room.

jaemin. founder of the group of loners. a pair of girlfriends with one boy. he's always in big crowds but usually because he makes friends with outgoing people, so he ultimately attends to some parties. he's the guy you ask to take care of your drink when you go to the bathroom. physics and engineering. that he doesn't talk much attracts attention, he doesn't realize he's alluring because of that. you always see him waiting for someone on your way home, his gaze detaches from his phone the exact time you alert his presence. you're the last one out of the building. there's no reason for him to be waiting for someone, unless that person has left him standing. but you don't worry much and you continue on your way; perhaps, on another occasion, jaemin will be brave enough to confess that whenever you see him outside, it's him, waiting for you.

jisung. became popular without knowing how. college jackets, non-prescription glasses, karaoke nights. being shy makes him charming to cheerleaders. he's not very good at drinking, so he's always sprawled on a couch neglected by his friends at a party, always in your care out of obligation. quite lighthearted, sometimes you understand why people find him attractive. he'd go for whatever career his best friend chooses, he doesn't really care. he's gets talkative, and affectionate when drunk, telling you repeatedly how much he loves you and that he would choose you a thousand times over anyone. you only asked him if he wanted water.

renjun. painting or sculpture. quiet bus ride. childhood friends. shared headphones. in one way or another you distanced each other at college. now he has new friends, but keep waiting for you after class. don't go to parties much, he sometimes prefers to stay at home, he doesn't really like the idea of seeing you hook up with guys. he tucks you to bed when you knock on his apartment by mistake, and kisses you back even though you're drunk. or maybe you weren't. every time he has to paint or sculpture the model on top of the podium in the middle of the class, his gaze doesn't even pay attention to them, and he ends up drawing you.

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | twelve.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 4.8k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, lotsa talk goin around, mostly focused on namjoon lol, i'ma tell yall rn - cant trust nobody!!, everyone is just onto san x oc but for the wrong asssss reasons, joon loves his 'yes or no' questions lmao, again - i promise you there is no ill intentions behind namjoon's actions - he is trying to see both sides but he has to do what he needs to do as a department chair first & foremost!! pls understand my guy.. he had to think quick!

Today, it feels like everyone is staring at you.

Today, it feels like everyone knows, and everyone is projecting their assumptions about you and San out into the world.

"You okay?" Eunchae looks down at you as you walk and avoid contact, keeping your eyes down on your feet below or your phone. "You're awfully quiet today." Maybe word hasn't gotten to Eunchae, Jurin or Felix yet, but you know it'll eventually make its way over.

Or, maybe they have heard and they're just waiting for you.

All you know is that you wanna hide under your blankets to prevent all this overthinking, this anxiety from feeling like everyone is watching you.

"Yeah. Just tired."

"You sure? I'm all ears, you know."

"Mhm." You give her a small reassuring smile as you tug on your bag. "Thank you."

"Course."

"Have you heard from Jiung today?" You ask. You haven't really talked to Jiung since your fight at the happy hour event, and he hasn't done much to talk to you either. It's a bit awkward, but whenever you and your friends are all together, you try to keep the peace and act like nothing is wrong. You do hope he's okay, and you do hope to have your bestfriend back— but you're still upset at the fact that he jumped to conclusions about San and accused him of forcing you into this.

"No. But, he did say he probably wasn't gonna grab lunch cause he needs to take care of some things."

"I see."

"I'll see you for lunch though, right?" You nod, just as the Biology building comes into view. "Goodluck with class today." 

"Thanks." You squeeze her hand before heading inside for class. Luckily, Yunho said he wouldn't be able to join class today. You weren't really in the mood to deal with him, and you're more so worried about getting through class in one piece before your mind tears you apart with all this overthinking. 

"Morning Y/N!" A student already sitting in the classroom says. You're instantly comforted as you greet them back and start getting set up at the front of the classroom. But, that instantly goes down the drain when two more students walk in together— eyeing you as they pass the front table before talking amongst each other.

Fuck.

You haven't heard from San either.

The world truly felt like it was swallowing you whole.

—FLASHBACK

"Hey! I'm back." You smile at Sunwoo as you place your things down at your desk. It instantly fades when you get a chance to look around the basement office, a few of your lab members talking amongst themselves while looking in your direction. You slightly furrow your brows, wondering what exactly they were talking about or why they felt the need to be doing all of that in your face.

Was everyone in on you and San?

Is this what everything has come to?

"Hey you!" Sunwoo looks up, noticing the shift in your mood. He turns to look at everyone, shaking his head before returning his attention towards you. At this point, everyone has returned to their desks or left the room to head into the behavior or wet lab rooms. "You good?"

"Hm." You hum. "I guess."

"You guess? How was the conference?"

"Good! It was chill. Jotted down a few presentations I wanted to share with you and Belle. Is she around?" He shakes his head.

"Haven't seen her."

"Hm, okay."

"You can tell me, I'm all ears." You look at your watch.

"I gotta run behavior soon."

"So, let's grab something quick to eat before you run behavior?"

"I'm down. Kinda starving anyway."

"Yeah, let's get something in you. You won't be able to focus otherwise." He stands and stretches before nodding towards the door. "So, what was the most interesting?" You follow behind him with your wallet clutched in hand, lingering eyes watching as you leave with Sunwoo.

"Maybe she's trying to get around the lab?" You overhear one of the guys say just as you walk out of the room with Sunwoo, pausing in your steps.

"Sunwoo."

"Huh?"

"Actually, you know what. I think I can hang on until dinner. I should get started on behavior. We can talk about this another time."

"Huh? No, let's get something really quick."

"You can go ahead without me. Sorry. I just realized I'm more strapped on time than I thought I was."

"Okay? But, I'm grabbing you a snack and you better eat it." He slowly starts walking backwards down the basement hallway, glaring at you.

"Thank you." Sunwoo watches as your head falls when you walk back into the basement office. Truth be told, he's been hearing the talk go around, but he's not one to meddle— especially if it has something to do with his good friends. He'll always be on your side, regardless of what people say or think.

And he feels awful it's starting to be more obvious around you. The talk. The looks.

He wishes he could do more as your friend to help keep it away from you.

—END

Namjoon is already having a rough start to his day despite it being one of the lighter days meeting-wise. He was woken up to an urgent, sensitive email from the dean about an anonymous tip that came in overnight about San:

Namjoon— Please get to the bottom of this; we received this tip last night about San and his student.  'Hi. I'm not sure who to direct this concern to anonymously, but I believe Y/N Y/L/N and Professor Choi (San) are in an inappropriate relationship. I think she might be using it to her advantage to move forward in the program and secure her spot in his lab.' I'd like to resolve this before the end of the week. This should not be taken lightly if this is true...

And the thing is— he's just frustrated that this has been taking up this time lately. He hasn't even gotten his own time to think properly. He could only sigh in disappointment as he got ready for his day, unsure of what else it could bring him. 

He should've known the storm was coming.

Iseul tugs on her jacket as she heads over to the Panama Building, the wind cooling her cheeks as she made sure to clear her hour for this particular meeting. Most students are in class right now, so the halls are quiet, still. Iseul takes the elevator up to the second floor and steps out, rushing down towards the left end of the hall.

"Namjoon." Namjoon turns over his shoulder to see Iseul. His door is wide open since he doesn't have any important meetings for awhile, and he always tries to foster a welcoming environment by letting students [and faculty] know they're always welcome to pop in if they need him.

He did not mean her though, especially today.

"Iseul."

"Can we talk?" Namjoon quickly sizes her, realizing she's already inside his office. He doesn't necessarily have a choice, but he knows this talk was gonna happen sooner or later.

He knows Iseul always has something to say.

"You're already in my office so I don't think there's necessarily a choice." He says it in a slightly playful manner just so he doesn't come off entirely rude. "What's on your mind?" Iseul shuts the door and crosses her arms before looking at him. Namjoon sits on the edge of his desk, hands loosely clasped together.

"I think you might already know." He shrugs.

"Enlighten me."

"San."

"What about him?"

"Can you let him know how dangerous it is to be dating his rotation student? He's being stupid."

"He's a grown man."

"And you're the chair."

"Thanks for the reminder." He furrows his brows. "Respectfully Iseul, this is not a discussion for you, that's why I'm not trying to indulge."

"How is this not? He's putting his reputation on the line, along with the school's. Including yours—"

"I don't see where you're involved. You don't have anything to do with him directly or the bioengineering department." He crosses his arms and stands. "I appreciate you bringing this to my attention, but this wasn't your place to do so. I'll handle it and I'll take care of it, so you don't need to worry." Namjoon glares at her a bit. 

"You're being so casual about something pretty severe." Namjoon pauses as he maintains his eye contact with her. She wants him to shrink and fold, but he won't.

"I think we both know that's not the reason why you're bringing this up." Her brows are knit tightly as they sit in an awkward, tense pause. "Aren't you tired of treating San this way? Why exactly do you feel so strongly about calling him out?"

"I'm not even doing anything to him—"

"You're right, you're not. You don't respect him, you don't acknowledge him, you don't know how to be civil with him. Yet, you don't see me calling you out on your behavior towards your ex-husband who has done nothing but try and keep the peace. I only ever hear San's name come out of your mouth when you've got something bad to say about him." She glares at him. As much as Namjoon equally tries to be there for all of the faculty and to not choose sides, one thing that can surely piss him off is when people act this way unwarranted.

So no, he won't sit back if he feels the hostility. He understands the severity of the situation and he has yet to gather his thoughts and his information, but he won't take this.

"So, you're gonna let this go? Do you even actually understand the situation, Namjoon? If you won't take care of it, I'll have no choice but to escalate this to the dean."

"I do, plenty. You don't have to tell me twice or how to do my job, Iseul." He walks over to the door. "I already said I'll take care of it. On my own terms and in my own way. Not the way you want me to." He places a hand on his hip. "And what makes you think we haven't already discussed this?"

"Fine. If that girl ruins everything for the school—"

"She won't." Namjoon cuts her off just as he swings the door open. "This will be taken care of, end of story. Is there anything else I can help you with that doesn't involve San and his personal matters?"

"No." She huffs a bit before walking out of the room. At this point, Jiung is cutting the corner and almost running into Iseul as he makes his way to Namjoon's office. Jiung does a curt bow to Iseul as she storms by, heels clicking away on the linoleum floor. Her feet are heavy, Jiung feels every step even as she gets further and further away.

"Oh, Jiung. Nice to see a friendly face." Namjoon lets out a breath and gives him a toothless smile. 

"Professor Kim." Jiung gives him a bow. "Are you free right now?"

"Mhm." He steps aside. "Just finished with Professor Lee. Come on in." He welcomes him inside, a bit relieved to see his face and to be welcomed by his gentle aura. It's nothing like Iseul and he's grateful; although, it does make him a little nervous to see Jiung in his office when he doesn't necessarily belong to the department. 

And just like Iseul, the buzz around campus, everything that's been going down— Namjoon already feels like he knows what this is about.

The only thing he can do is confront it and take care of it just like he told Iseul he'd do. But, how? He's not sure. He's gonna have to take the time today to sit San down and poke at his brain because he's just not understanding how all of this went down and why his name and your name are being tossed around together.

Maybe he just didn't wanna believe it was true; not with San, no. He couldn't. Both as his friend and colleague.

"What can I help with? I'm a little surprised you're popping into my office since you're in the electrical engineering department."

"Ah, cause.." Jiung slowly sits in the chair and sets his bag down. "It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with me." Namjoon cocks his head to the side.

"Okay, no worries. I'm all ears."

"I-I don't really know how to say this, but I'm mainly concerned about a friend. She's in the bioengineering department."

"I think I might know what you're talking about." Namjoon says, giving Jiung a nod to proceed with his explanation.

"Yeah, it's that. I feel like Professor Choi might have forced her into it, though. It just seems really out of character for Y/N, and I don't know. I guess it just feels like he might have said something or tried to take advantage of her."

"I understand your concern for your friend, but can you let me know why you think Professor Choi is taking advantage of her or forcing her into this?"

"I just.. it just seems off, is all."

"But, what if this is also Y/N's choice?"

"It's not like her."

"I'm not saying you don't know your friend, Jiung. But, there are things people are fully capable of doing that can come off as unexpected from your point of view."

"I talked to her after the whole happy hour thing went down and I found Professor Choi kinda cornering her against the wall. She didn't look scared or anything, but she did get defensive while I was talking to her and asking her about it."

"I see." Is all Namjoon says because one, he just doesn't know. Just like he told Jiung, there are probably things he doesn't know San is capable of doing. He needs to talk to him and that's the only way he'll get the proper story. The only way to get to the bottom of it is finally confronting San about the issue at hand. 

Face to face.

To be honest, he's been putting off the conversation because it's not a conversation he wants to have. It's not easy, nor will the decision at the end be something he wants to do— but he has to.

"I'm sorry, Professor Kim. I don't mean to add to your plate, but I got worried."

"Is Y/N doing okay otherwise?" He nods.

"Think so. She hasn't been saying much. We got into a fight after I confronted her so we haven't been talking."

"Sorry to hear that. I'm sure things will smooth over sooner or later." Namjoon says. "Is there anything else you'd like to let me know?"

"No, that's all. I'm sorry I don't have much details, I'm just worried about her."

"All good, I understand. I'm sure she appreciates it, too. She's lucky to have a friend like you by her side."

"Thanks, Professor Kim. For hearing me out."

"Sure. I'll take care of it and see what I can do, okay?" Jiung nods and stands, slipping his bag strap over his shoulder.

"Can we keep this between us? Please don't mention that I stopped by."

"Of course." Namjoon says softly as he stands to walk him to the dior. "Of course." He repeats.

"Thanks."

"I just can't promise you I'll have any updates cause it'll be pretty confidential moving forward."

"It's fine. I get it." Jiung stops right before he steps out the door. "Thank you again."

"No problem. You know how to reach me if you have any other concerns." Jiung nods before slipping through the door and taking his exit. Namjoon exhales heavily before pulling out his phone to text the person he needs—

namjoon: can we talk in my office? i'd rather much do this today, not later. 

namjoon: i'm free for the next hour and half.

san: yeah. i'll be there in 15 minutes.

namjoon: thanks.

He sighs again, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tries to gather his thoughts. It's the hardest thing to approach this as a colleague rather than a friend because as a friend, Namjoon would let this go. He knows San deserves to be happy, and it sounds like he is. That's all he's ever wanted for him especially after all the hurt and pain he had gone through with Iseul and Yunho. But as a colleague, his 'higher-up' even, it's wrong. San's happiness is wrong because it's with his student. A student who is a grown adult who can make decisions for themselves. It's wrong.

So, what does he do?

He feels a migraine coming on, so he tries to busy himself with some emails, making sure deadlines and reports have been submitted. Luckily, the dean is giving him some time and isn't pressing him for answers right this second even though he knows it's on his mind. If he was, Namjoon wasn't sure what he'd say.

He's not sure how he'll get San out of this.

"Yo." San appears in his office, softly shutting the door behind him. 

"Take a seat." San immediately picks up on the vibe in the room and how stressed Namjoon looks. He knows they still need to talk about things, but something tells San it's become much deeper than that and he's not prepared for it whatsoever. No matter how hard he tried to prepare, there's no proper way to be fully prepared.

"You okay?"

"Honestly, I don't know." He sits back a bit, hands clasped on the surface of the table. "But, I'm just gonna get right to it because I think this is way overdue."

"Okay." San manages to respond softly.

"We need to talk about what happened at the happy hour event the other day, plus that whole thing with Iseul and Yunho." Namjoon pauses before he cuts to the chase. "San, why do I keep getting wind of you being in a relationship with your rotation student?" Silence. "Y/N, to be exact." He looks at him. "Is that what the whole happy hour thing was about? Is that what you three were discussing in the conference room yesterday?" He sighs. "I was try to push this off a little longer until I could figure out how to get you out of this, but word keeps going around and it definitely didn't help that you three had a screaming match about it." San sighs heavily as he sinks into the chair.

"Well, as far as I know, I wasn't planning on discussing my personal matters with Yunho and Iseul. They trapped me into the fucking—"

"San." Namjoon stops him. "Is it a yes or no?" Pause. San just looks at Namjoon and it's enough for him to put the final piece together. Everything had been about you from the get-go, but San still won't say it. He's doing everything to protect you, but this might be it; there's no way he can lie to Namjoon about this, or hide this from him any longer.

It's far too late for that.

"San." He repeats. "This is not the time to try and lie to me. I had two people talk to me about it and an anonymous tip came in that was sent my way."

"Who?"

"It doesn't matter." Namjoon furrows his brows and lets out a heavy exhale. "I need the truth from you. Now." The exasperated sigh that leaves San's lips is full of emotions; fear, anxiety, protectiveness, even.

"I'm sorry." Is all San can respond with. It comes out low, barely above a whisper.

"Why?" Namjoon cocks his head to the side, hands on his hips. "Why? I just wanna know why!" His voice is harsh, but he keeps his tone low. "A student, your student? It's damn near everywhere, you know that, right? I don't know how I'm gonna fix this for you, but you know they'll take action against her and probably you—"

"Namjoon, please." San pleads. "Please don't do this to her. Don't take her out of the program. Do whatever you need to me, but don't take it out on her."

"San." Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose before letting out an exasperated sigh. "You should've known better." He looks at him, but San can't even respond. All he can do is shrug and shake his head because he did know better, he just didn't wanna do better and chose to be selfish. "I need to figure this out before end of the day and report back to the dean. I can't force you to act a certain way or do things you don't wanna do. But, for this reason in particular, I'm gonna need you two to stop. You're not interacting with her on campus, you're not going to be involved in anything having to do with her moving forward." Namjoon shakes his head. "You both couldn't wait until graduation or something? I know it's years ahead but you know how this looks—"

"I— no. Things just happened. That's really the only way I can explain it. I'm sorry. The hell am I supposed to do? I can't help but feel how I feel for her." Namjoon sighs heavily, feeling torn between wanting his friend to be happy, but concerned and disappointed for his colleague.

"That isn't gonna fly. You knew better than to get involved with a student in your lab. You can't just risk everything you've built for yourself, San. You have no idea how much trouble you could get into if the school finds out just exactly how deep your relationship has gotten with her— let alone, your own rotation student!" His tone slight rises, but it falls when he sees San visibly shrink and lose eye contact with him. He paces around for a bit, hands still on his hips as he tries to figure out a way to brush this over before it gets way too messy and complicated. "I get you. I do. You deserve to be happy, and who the hell am I to police your actions? But, I can't have you do this to yourself or her. The both of you are grown so I expected you to do better."

"So, what's gonna happen?"

"Well, I'll need to let them know this isn't true and that you two aren't in a relationship. I'll have to remove her from your lab and I'll need to figure out where I can place her or what I can do for her." 

"They won't kick her out, right?"

"Honestly, I can't even be sure. I don't think so, but you two will definitely not be allowed to be near or around each other." Namjoon looks at him. "Are you not even worried about yourself?"

"No, I'm not."

"She's worth it to you?"

"More than anything." San says softly. "Look, it's cliché but you really don't understand." Namjoon shrugs.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I don't wanna take your happiness away, San. Believe me. That's the last thing I wanna do and this is already difficult as is. But, it just had to be her?"

"It did, yeah. And there's nothing I regret about it." Another small silence falls between them before Joon speaks up again.

"Do you get where people are taking this?"

"No, quite frankly, I don't."

"Favoritism, like you two are taking advantage of each other for benefits. It's becoming so noticeable that people are talking."

"You and I both know how great of a student she is. If she's received opportunities, it's because she earned them herself, not because of me."

"That's not how it looks. And perception matters. You know this. Relationships like this are literally a ticking time bomb for your career, the bioengineering department." He's gonna use the excuse that Iseul pulled because for him, as department chair, as someone who needs to keep the glue together for this department, it's true. 

"I don't even see how we're doing anything wrong when we're both adults. She and I both know what this is—"

"That doesn't matter in this situation. There's a power dynamic here you can't ignore. Even if this is real, you hold her future in your hands. Do you understand?" Joon exhales, brows tightly knit together. "What about her fate in this whole situation? Do you care about that?"

"Of course I do. I care about her more than anything." San responds almost exasperatedly.

"Do you love her?"

"If I say yes?"

"Then, tell me. If you had to choose between your relationship or keeping her here, then what?" San sighs and runs his hand down his face. "Think about it. You deserve to be happy, but that girl also deserves a chance to keep going."

"Why can't we just keep it on the low, why do I have to choose? W-we can be more careful—"

"San, don't be stupid. I'm sure 'being careful' is how this all started, right?" Silence. "You know people are going to find out one way or another. It won't matter how real this is to you, to the both of you. She'll be branded as the professor's pet. Is that what you want for her? And you'll lose everything—your job, your reputation, ability to work at other institutions. Plus, the dean is still thinking about your program with Jongho and the real estate. This is going to trickle onto Jongho, too."

"No, of course not. And I don't want Jongho to take a fall because of me. But.." San sighs, his heart breaking the more this conversation goes on. He wasn't prepared to be here today, no. And he wasn't prepared for his mind to start thinking otherwise about your relationship, you. He was always sure of you, but now he's starting to feel like he's been too selfish;

Neglected you and your future plans. Your dreams, your goals.

"You're asking me to break this off. To break off my relationship with someone I truly care about and someone that genuinely makes me happy. Something I haven't felt in a long time."

"I'm sorry, San. I already told you how difficult this is, and it's not my intention to take your happiness away. I just need to protect you two from everyone, especially the dean. Please understand me and hear me. I'm asking you to protect her this way. If anything happens, it'll be the both of you going down and you know she doesn't deserve that either. "

"And If I don't do this?" San asks just to put the question out there.

"Then, can you call it love? Or is it just you being selfish?" San leans onto his knees, head falling into his hands. "I'm trying to come from a good place. Help me help you." He feels a headache coming on, thoughts running at a thousand miles per hour. He hates the thought of losing you; it makes him sick to his stomach. But, he can't even lie and say there isn't a piece of truth behind Namjoon's words. 

Can San really say he loves you if he isn't doing the right thing for you? Is he being too selfish, assuming he could keep this on the low? Assuming he could be 'more' careful with you?

Is he selfish for wanting you by his side no matter what? Is he selfish for saying fuck it?

Is he selfish?

The last thing he wants to do is ruin your career, ruin you. Even if this will hurt like hell, he understands where Namjoon is coming from and knows he needs to put you first.

He's so conflicted. He has no idea what to do or how to move forward. Because as much as he knows he needs to do this for you and the sake of Namjoon, he doesn't want to.

He is scared.

"I need to head back to my office." San sighs and stands, but Namjoon follows closely.

"I don't have much time. I need to let them know that something is gonna be done and I need to prove it to them. You do hear me, right?"

"I do. I just.. give me a little bit of time to think, Joon. Please." Namjoon just nods, meeting San's expression. He feels bad, he really does. And as his friend, this isn't something he wants to do— but he has to. He could easily tell San to keep this on the low, to keep this a secret until things blow over but at some point, he doesn't trust himself to continue along with the story had anyone asked about it out of the blue.

Namjoon watches as San sadly walks off back to his office, eyes trained on the phone in his hand. San sees your texts, and usually, that'll be enough to put a smile on his face. He'll text back right away so you know he's been thinking about you; but today, he's thinking about you in a different light and he's not sure how to stomach it.

When he gets back to his office, he sees a few people from the lab lingering around— even you. You meet his eyes and his eyes meet yours, but he doesn't give you a smile.

His eyes don't glow like they used to.

His cheeks aren't threatening to glow that cute, rosy tint they do when you're around.

He just steps in without doing anything to acknowledge your presence and that already feels way off.

you: 😞 you didn't even look my way when you walked back into the office and i haven't heard from you all day.

you: i hate how all my papers and presentations are due this week. plus ppl have been weird, idk. i just wanna cuddle 😭

san: i'm sorry. it's just been a day.

you: that's never stopped you before... ☹️ what's wrong, san?

san: we should talk, baby.

—read 12.5 here

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated

[cupcakeatsea]

Chris knows, okay? He’s fourteen and given the shit he’s seen he’s more than a bit hyper-vigilant. It means he watches more than most teenagers, he sees more. It doesn’t lead to much other than some anxiety in traffic and that he’s good at reading people. But because he’s fourteen and surrounded by other hormonally charged teenagers, it mainly just means he can spot crushes. He knows who likes who in his class, it’s not hard to figure out. The staring when they think the other isn’t looking is the big one. The laughing too hard and jokes and teasing is the next step. And then, for the brave, blushing compliments. It’s not hard, it’s just watching.

Adults are a bit different, for sure, but he knows his dad and he knows his Buck. And he knows about the staring, sees them doing it to each other. He takes part in the teasing and jokes. He knows, okay?

And he’s figuring out how to be around girls he likes. Knows what he likes to do spending time with them. Getting to know them. Maybe he just copied his dad and Buck on that one? And sure, he got a bit weird about it but fuck, his dad got even weirder. He spent so long saying sorry and proving he was sorry to his friends. That’s the bit that sucked - those girls were his friends and he acted like they didn’t matter.

It’s better now, he was gone for so long and he missed all his friends and they all missed him. So even the girls he hurt, when he got back, they were happy to see him. Leaving mended a lot of stuff even if it didn’t feel like it at the time. Even if ignoring his dad hurt, he needed him to know how fucked up everything was. How fucked up he was. For a split second he thought his mom was there, back from the dead. His heart soared then broke in that split second. He was seven again and she was under the tree then she was drowning in his dreams - in a split second. He couldn’t imagine the damage of a car accident back then, but he knew what water did to bodies, how it killed, so that’s what happened to his mom in his nightmares. But fuck, let’s not get caught up in that again, that shit’s for therapy.

The point is, he knows. And it’s fine, great even, that his dad loves Buck and Buck loves his dad. God, it’s been an unspoken fact for so long to him that he went a whole year thinking they were together together. And yeah, he knew about Ana being his dad’s girlfriend but he didn’t really sort out the picture of how all these adults fit in relationships because his dad and Buck just seemed right together. He doesn’t even feel stupid about it because it’s so obvious to him they love each other. Not just friend love, but are properly in love.

Just maybe not obvious enough to them. God, how is it not obvious to them? Buck has lived on their couch more than once to help care for his dad. His dad has quietly sobbed in the night when neither of them knew if Buck was going to wake up. He heard because he was crying too and when he swallowed his tween pride to crawl into bed to hug his dad, they both whispered how scared they were to lose someone so important, someone so loved. They whispered their hopes and desperation that he’d wake up too. They’re all so linked with how much they’ve been through together, he doesn’t know how they’re here and still so far apart.

But we’re getting off track again because he knows, okay? And he’s going to figure it out for them because he loves them. Even if they are stupid and it’s going to take a fourteen year old to make them see it. He loves his dad and his Buck and they love each other. And it’s going to be okay.

[alicefromwhichplanet]

Can I ask? What so you think about tf one? I meant I see a lot peoples praise it yet when I thinking again its not great like what they thinking.

Sooo what do you think they like that?

Hi, first of all thank you for your question. I hope my reply is not too late. I’ve seen your question weeks ago and I wanted to answer it, but by then, I was stuck in a bunch of things at work and I had complicated, negative feelings towards this movie. My opinion on it is so harsh that I find it difficult to really form a complete criticism because they are overwhelming. So I tried to avoid direct comments, tried to hide my edges and tried to be an amiable person. But now I think I’m wrong: being a harsh critic and working on some harmless, happy-together aus are all fine for me, because they all make me more like me.

So to answer your question on my opinion of Transformers: One, I’m gonna say it’s bad. It’s SO bad. It’s not just lazy writing, but kind of like malicious writing. My most non-malevolent inference is that: the play-write is an uneducated, simple-minded arrogant fool. He hasn’t read anything more serious than American popcorn superhero comics, doesn’t have any idea what a “revolution” is, hasn’t known a single blue collar worker individual, and most likely a rightist conservative. This is why the joke is on him: all he had written gives people just the opposite feeling. Characters he tried to convince the audience to be good looks like winners of an unjust game, and the character he tried to convince the audience as a super bad guy looks like a stigmatized hero. The four main characters all look like they have serious flaws in their personalities. And their “friendship” looks like a lie. They’re more like a bunch of blind rats happened to get stuck together with the playwright’s forceful hand, not knowing each other, not able to empathize with each other because of the defects in their personalities. And their friendship falling apart is only a matter of time. Not a little bit pitiful. See my friend’s analysis, I think they’re quite reasonable.

Since it should be a brief and comprehensive answer, I’ll make myself brief. So I’ll only point out some major annoying flaws in the portrayal of the four main characters:

Optimus Prime/ Orion— Not strong, not gentle.

For many, the reason for making excuses for TF One Orion is because they had the lingering love for Optimus in many past works. But there is no point comparing THIS Optimus to the past ones because in TF One, Optimus’s core virtue of empathy and tolerance is scraped from him.

Peter Cullen defined Optimus’s personality foundation as “strong enough to be gentle”, as the opposite of a “noisy flamboyant Hollywood hero”. It is fair to say that he is the savior for this franchise and this main character not to fall into “Hollywood hero” category. Optimus becomes Optimus Prime not because he “wins everything easily and gets compliments without flaws”, but because he has a big heart, is able to care for people around him, carries his unique sense of responsibility and is wise enough to make hard choices with no one supporting. But TF One, Orion is written as a reckless teen who does his acts “optimistically” like he doesn’t belong to his miner background, and chooses the subjects of his sympathy towards a small group of bots who are written on scripts as good guys. To Megatron, He is a terrible friend. He doesn’t even know about his temper and puts on a freaking surprised look whenever he is angry with an obvious reason. (And FUCK THEM with that “being too hysterical when getting angry is a sign of evil nature” conclusion, this is a Middle Ages witch-haunting line)

Megatron— the deprived and the insulted

I have written a separate analysis for TF One Megatron in Chinese, and I will translate it here eventually so I won’t say more. My conclusion is that the writer of TF One tried very hard to belittle Megatron’s character, including scraping off his radical leftist ideology and replacing it with a witch-haunting narrative: he is unstable. He has bad temper. Whatever he is angry about, he is too angry to the point of disgrace. We don’t like hysterical women. Same fucking white male narration. Orientalism.

Elita One: Fake female idol

I doubt if the playwright really knows how to write a strong woman character. Apparently he piled up some annoying alpha male traits on this bright pink, main-character’s-plot-girlfriend-turned-smurfette character in order to gain her some importance: she is as self-conceited, given much action scenes, admiring physical violence and social hierarchy as any male bodyguard side character kind of stereotype. Feminism my ass.

Not to mention that she’s basically a traitor to working class. A blind follower of miners-hierarchy rules and desperate to get on top without one single thought of this being done only through suppressing other miners ( the plots are stupid enough to the point of having her yelling at the miners to all praise her. Geez). Does or does she not have a real growth arc? Is there any more complexity to this character than being a blind follower of first a caste system then a new Sentinel Prime (Orion of course. I can’t think of another ending since he’s got the coronation from the gods for defending a tyrant, oh yeah) and getting rewarded for that? Again. Feminism my ass.

Bumblebee: the only not-so-disgusting person in the main characters, but still his happily chopping the guards scene brings me back to the Japanese Fascists soldiers holding a competition of how many innocent people can they kill in the streets of Nanjing (one killing 105 and one 104 or so, the news was on a Japanese newspaper during WWII). No kidding.

I would say it’s a story of bullying and justified abuse. (“Four ppl are good friends and then one day they all want to isolate one friend and they stopped talking with her(I know Meg is a him, but here his fate of being guiltified because of “anger management” is too similar to mad woman in the attic) and all behave very surprised when she is angry at “something wrong”. Big bro and his girlfriend big sis told the good-tempered kid (Bumblebee) who is too afraid of loneliness to do as they said or he’s gonna be *expelled from their group* like “bad Meg”. Out of fear she/he does as she/he’s told.) Besides the malicious character depiction and plot arrangements, the whole story comes without any memorable point. Very bland and predictable plots.

[bookwyrm-art-stuff]

A treatise on liufang

(Liu Qingge x Mu Qingfang)

Because omfg did this get out of hand

This whole thing was written in messages to a mutual (shout out to @mamaclownhunter for listening to my ramblings) and is just my entire brain spilled out on the table. Please tell me if I manage to indoctrinate you, they have Consumed my Life and yours may be next!

Now, treatise:

First point: The existence of the ship itself. I know, logically, that the reason this ship exists at all is that people felt bad leaving LQG alone with their bingqiu (and sometimes qijiu) happy ending, seeing as he (to my mind, clearly) likes SQQ. This is rather inevitable, and not uncommon whatsoever; nor are these ships. The thing that makes this one stick out to me is, like… it makes fucking SENSE. The biggest barriers to it are a) LQG likes SQQ (easily explained away, he's emotionally fragile and his rival who he respected as such (maybe more) suddenly added affection to the equation. Also he's gorgeous. Understandable, but darling there was no chance. Etc.) and b) they have little to no canon interaction, and none that I can recall providing any insight into their relationship. (Again, easily explainable; LQG's a side character and MQF's a background character and gods know they're not gonna be interacting much, let alone enough to provide insight into their relationship.) This lack of walls or flaws in the ship is relatively and disarmingly rare when it comes to ships born of what can be called the "leftovers" once main ships are paired off.

Second point: Why it works. First of all, the setup for shipping between peak lords is just… automatically ideal. They're coworkers, and their position mandates that they have grown up together. They also live very conveniently near each other and forced proximity via that and meetings is SO a thing. And, by mandate of their positions, they're all incredibly powerful, and you KNOW we are ALL suckers for power couples in this fandom. Now, when you move down to the ship specific givens it just gets better. Because Mu Qingfang is the Qian Cao peak lord- the head of the medicine peak. And Liu Qingge is the lord of Bai Zhan- the WAR peak. So, by requirement of their roles: 1) MQF can boss anyone around and deal with a lot of bitching (*cough*), 2) Liu Qingge fights a LOT and cannot come unscathed from all of it, 3) LQG's disciples are even worse off on the injury front and probably go to QC for care/supplies very often. No ignoring each other. Also, by virtue of his deeply affection-starved character, if LQG is shown care that takes even the tiniest step into personal/emotional care and affection he is GONE. Basically if MQF likes him (not hard to orchestrate) he is SCREWED.

Third point: Why I like it (analyzing myself and losing my semblance of clinical manner one scenario at a time.) To preface: my taste in ships trends very mainstream- basically nothing I ship can be considered a rarepair. So of course, I had to thoroughly dissect this one. One of the main draws, as I see it, is the characters themselves. I love Liu Qingge. I am deeply invested in his character and struggles and I both want to give him a hug and study him under a microscope. He is darling and severely fucked up, so I'm already in the same boat as the likely creators and patrons of the ship; wanting him to have someone now that his crush has run off with his own disciple who is also a demon lord. I think Liu Qingge should be happy, and I'll be honest, I don't think he'd be happy alone. Now, as for the other half of the ship, and arguably the more interesting one in this context: I am a sucker for medic/healer characters. I think they are a severely underexplored as a trope at large, and the effects that kind of responsibility and work can have on a character are just- chef's kiss. They are also incredibly cool people, a product of the skills they have to learn to y'know... do medicine, as well as those to treat wayward patients. This facet appeals to me in particular because, while I do think LQG could be darling and gentlemanly paired with someone beautiful and elegant like either SQQ, I honestly would LOVE someone who could bring out the feral side of him and has one of their own. (Shen Jiu does this but that is as adversaries.) Mu Qingfang is a doctor. He deals with all MANNER of bitchy, bratty assholes and he would not take ANY shit from LQG. I also think that since he's the peak lord he has a wide range of medical knowledge, including mental health, so basically: he could fix him. Tying this back to my love of power couples: SJ and LQG bring out each other's insanity in opposition. LMY and LQG bring out each other's insanity in play and sibling competition. Now, I raise you: MQF and LQG bringing out each other's insanity in mutually tempered tandem.

(More of) my ideas, headcanons, and scenarios. (Elaboration.) I still have many more, less structured thoughts. Like how therapeutic sparring must be for them; LQG having someone to spar with who can match him and won't hold back but who he also deeply loves and trusts (pause for delight) is the obvious half, but I bet Mu Qingfang would LOVE to just punch someone after a long shift of NOT punching awful patients. Like oh GODS is it nice to punch his husband in the jaw and then watch him heal the bruise HIMSELF with his FULLY FORMED GOLDEN CORE (*sobs in Bai Zhan disciples.*) And also: LQG patching him up. This one works with anyone you deign to ship MQF with, but I think LQG especially would revel in it. MQF getting off a long-ass shift, coming straight to BZ, sparring full-force for half an hour, and then afterwards him leaning on LQG and letting him slide off his robes to clean and properly wrap an injury sustained extricating a fucking dumbass (NOT from BZ for once) from a demon's clutches (they underestimated the situation but everyone got out alright.) How nice it feels when LQG tenderly rewraps the slice on his arm, the release of pressure after having his own hasty, makeshift, and uncomfortably (though not damagingly) tight bandage on for a few hours because he was busy making sure that IDIOT didn't die. The surge of affection LQG feels when he hears how it was sustained protecting the injured disciple, and the gentle kiss he drops on MQF's bare shoulder before getting up to prepare a bath. The happiness LQG feels hearing MQF's exhausted monotone and seeing him slouching against the wall (or, preferably, LQG's shoulder;) not because he wants his husband to be tired, but because he feels safe enough to show it. The way, after a while, that Qian Cao disciples will point LQG to MQF as soon as they see him on their peak, and and vice versa. After battles, instead of off running unnecessary patrols like they're accustomed to, finding LQG in the infirmary, doing simple tasks and intimidating his own disciples into lying still.

[sorry-not-feeling-it-right-now]

Ask game here!!! ^^^ (I’m on IPad so it looks like this unfortunately 😭)

(Oh gosh three asks asking me about the same character (I’ll just put them together and answer it as a singular post!))

(Also this turned out way longer than I’ve expected so I’m gonna put a cut here!! To save scrolling time!!)

FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

Probably how open Smitten is with his emotions!!! He feels so so much with his whole heart and I really love how he’s not afraid to share them! He is a really honest and earnest character and I don’t really see him lying in any way (and if he does, he’d probably do a really terrible job at it because of how he wears his heart on his sleeve andnsjsm). I can’t help but feel that his earnestness is something worth admiring!

Oh! And of course of how gentle he can be! Despite his bravado he really knows how to lift someone up with his soft words. He can see how someone is hurting and would attempt to lift them up by reminding them that they are loved and is worth loving. I especially love him in Thorn because of this reason. He’s really just love personified (even if it’s towards his own deterrent (don’t do that Smitten))

Also also! I love the way he speaks! He’s so dramatic with his speech patterns that it gives me the giddiest feeling whenever I hear him speak. His princely flair got me alright… he’s so cute,,,.,,…

AND!!! How he subverts the expectations of how love is a purely good thing!!! Love can hurt really really bad as well as heal!! Both the giver and the receiver!!!! And how he is a representation of using fantasy as a coping mechanism!!! He has a lot!!! Of stuff!!!!

(Ik it said “favourite thing about them (singular)” but I can’t help but give him appreciation by yapping)

LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

(I do have some things to say about that despite you occupying 90% of my brain space Smitten </3 it’s out of love tho I promy…)

To mirror what I’ve said at the beginning, it’s of how self-sacrificing he is. My guy has zero self-preservation and self-love despite being the personification of love and emotion. He would literally die for the one he loves and like,,,, NO!!!! SMITTY!!!! SOME PEOPLE WOULD WANT YOU TO LIVE!!!! FOR THEM!!!! SOME PEOPLE WOULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR DEVOTION!!!!! DONT DO IT!!!! SHAKING YOU ON THE SHOULDERS /AFF

FAVORITE LINE

He has a lot of great lines tbh sbsnsjs

A lot of them are really good, but I just, can’t remember a lot of them, so I’ll just put down those that I actually remember

“My wrath will echo the depths of my bereavement.”

“If we just showed her the contents of our heart... She'd be happy here." ABSOLUTE CHILLS

“YOU SMARMY ASS”

"By cruelly turning on the Princess on her moment of vulnerability we made ourselves an enemy. But, by mastering our fear and insecurity and handing over our power, we've begun a journey to something so much deeper"

BROtp

Smitten and Skeptic! As well as Smitten and Stubborn!!

The Heart and The Head!! The Grey Brothers have a special place in my heart… They’re like the two people who’s really different from each other but enjoys each other’s company regardless of that difference. They balance each other out rather nicely despite them never meeting each other officially in game: like, Skeptic could teach Smitten to think before he act on his own emotions and be more sceptical of the intentions of other people, while Smitten could encourage Skeptic to feel with his heart! I see Skeptic as the type of person to have a hard time empathising with other people and would rely heavily on his logic to help solve the problem for them instead of simply listening to them (he cares, just doesn’t know how to do it in a way that’s unfamiliar to him/not his nature), so I think having Smitten be there to teach him how to do that would help him greatly. They would probably understand each other in the ending where TLQ kills Shifty’s heart and becomes a god himself, since Skeptic knows what’s it like to not have a grounding presence to catch him (for Smitten it’s the Princess). Him and Cheated would comfort Smitten during those times.

And here’s Beauty and Brawn! Aside from their shared appreciation for the Princess, they are also both really passionate characters who are extremely open with their emotions. Smitten would appreciate Stubborn’s showcase of passion towards the Princess, while Stubborn would see strength and potential in Smitten as an opponent! Stubborn would probably rather head straight ahead towards violence instead of using words like Smitten does, but he likes the guy so what the hell

Stubborn would try to get Smitten to fight him, but Smitten just, doesn’t fight him simply because being violent is really not in his nature (unless Stubborn intentionally gloats him into fighting him)

They would be the duo that hugs and cries together whenever there’s a touching scene playing in a movie

OTP

You already know,,..,,,, (it’s Burned Bridges)

Funnily enough the infamous Burned Grey lines aren’t the reason why I ship them in the first place

It’s the fact that I remembered a line Cold had said about Smitten would one day want the emotions to go away completely despite how strongly those emotions burn at the current moment , and then telling him to trust him on it.

It just. Reveals so much about Cold as a character.

Not only does it imply that Cold isn’t completely emotionless as he oh so often tells us that he is, and that he had felt strong emotions at one point but had chosen to repress them completely due to how much it had hurt him, but it also reveals that he doesn’t seem to hold the same animosity towards Smitten as the other way around (at least, not the level of hatred Smitten holds for him),as he actually gave him advice on the subject matter. He seems to be more amused by Smitten then anything. Burned Grey is a route where Smitten was denied of his purpose with us deciding to kill the Princess, and Cold’s whole thing is about his purpose being denied, and hence the numbing ache in his heart that he desperately wants to fill. So I feel like he would probably understand Smitten in that regard of having his purpose denied. He just, find Smitten’s anger really freaking amusing due to the fact that Smitten is usually really chipper. And also the fact that Anger is the rawest emotion there is.

They would definitely start on rough terms though. With Smitten actually fulfilling his promise on letting Cold feel what he had felt (via hurting Cold) and Cold just becoming more and more interested in how far Smitten would go in his pursuit of vengeance. How far would he go? How low would he stoop? He would love to know, and so he would gloat him more and more and see how he would react.

But knowing Smitten, he would probably get really tired of hurting Cold over and over again. He is. Just not a violent person at heart. His starring chapter two is literally one of the three routes that doesn’t have a chapter one that ends with violence(it technically does but you know what I mean(Damsel, Prisoner, Stranger)). Eventually it would reach a point where he would just tiredly tell Cold off without it ending with violence, and that would make Cold feel surprised about the change in his usual pattern of behaviour. I’d like to think that Cold would be the person to reach Smitten out to soothe him on his hollowness and aimlessness when Smitten would deny him over and over until he eventually lets Cold do his thing (heavily influenced by @pink-november ‘s fic btw) and Smitten coming to a realisation that Cold might not be as emotionless as he thought… and then the two deciding to start over on their relationship and become friends… and then learning that wait, they’re actually quite similar… and then they unknowingly fall for each other for real the more time they spend with each other…. oughhhhh slowburn Burned Bridges my beloved

“Who needs violence when you have love?”

“Who needs love when you’ve mastered yourself?”

Also also, fire and ice, pink and black, pillow and blanket, “hero” and “villain” (but not really), emotional doofus and stoic fella????? ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS SLOWBURN?????? That’s a lot of stuff!!!! (And the comedic whiplash of “GRRRR I HATE YOU!!!!” to them cuddling together is just. Really funny to me ok.)

Again, this ship can either go down an even more toxic route then it already is (yummy toxic yaoi) or it could become something really fluffy and tender. It really depends on what direction the writer wants the ship to go. I’m fine with either though. Both are really fun routes.

NOtp

I don’t really have a NOtp for him tbh,,..,,,,.

RANDOM HEADCANON

I’ve already said this in another post, but I’d like to imagine Smitten would abuse nicknames and name the voices with the positive qualities he sees in them. Also this is a headcanon for the Voices in general, but I’d like to think that he’d struggle acting away from his nature. Much like the Vessels, the Voice’s nature is all they knew. A part of him would always yearn for the presence of the Princess, since she was literally who he was made to love and dote upon. Even though he would feel genuinely happy that TLQ had found his one true love, a part of him would always feel that emptiness She had left behind, and his heart would ache more and more. Broken in Apotheosis had proven that the Voices can in fact grow their perspective and in turn become more complex, so I feel like Smitten would definitely have his own arc as well once the Voices learn to become their own person and not just a singular facet of TLQ (and especially Oppy and Cold but this ain’t about them).

Smitten would be really affectionate with his show of affection (depends on Voice to Voice though!!!! He wouldn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable). If you ask him which showcase of affection his likes most, he would tell you that he loves all shows of affection equally! Love is love and should be showed proud and loud across your heart! He’s the type of guy to casually give platonic smooches on the cheeks (again, depends on Voice to Voice—if the Voice is uncomfortable with smooches, he’d probably just do a handshake or something). He doesn’t really put a line in love. To him, love is just that—love. There is no need to put a line between platonic, familial and romantic love. As long as the parties are comfortable with how that love is expressed, there is no problem!

Also can we all agree he would write the corniest love songs ever?? Thanks (Cold would be amused by him and listens to Smitten perform despite his comment on the corniness of it all ahahahahah anyway)

UNPOPULAR OPINION

I can agree on Smitten not being a d!ck but saying Smitten is completely harmless and lacks any malicious intent is where I have to disagree. I dunno if this is an unpopular opinion though.

Him wanting to hurt someone in the name of love IS malicious intent despite the motivation. And he has proven that can AND will do what he had said that he would do with him literally killing us after we killed Damsel for seemingly no reason. He is love as much as he is emotional.

Also he seems to care more about how you AND the Princess feels more then his own opinions. He reads as a people pleaser to me. He genuinely just wants you and the Princess to be happy, but then that mixing with his own perception that he is supposed to be the knight in shining armour for the Princess makes for a weird complex.

SONG I ASSOCIATE WITH THEM

We Become We, but specifically that one part of the song with HEA Smitten. I do love me some angst.

(Again sorry about the format!!!!!)

Full song: https://youtu.be/hRllUeany_Q?si=AJHdP-dJUHdf-r30

That one part: https://youtu.be/mwnXg6GXCk8?si=G1hzN_EG93ulKAhN

FAVOURITE PICTURE OF THEM

Ohohohohoh I have a couple of those teehee

(I love it when I just draw him like a ball)

[itficlibrary]

This Week's Theme is Fics under 5k words!

The following list contains fics that are under 5,000 words! Writing short fic like this is a real talent, so we'd like to celebrate some we've found!

For fans of light-hearted miscommunications & domesticity, try:

Pushing the envelope by car

(4.6k words)

Uber domestic & fun little fic wherein reddie are living together, and an increasingly jealous Eddie discovers (or so he thinks) Richie’s getting love letters in the mail. Perfect seasonal read for V day!

For fans of Vague Impending Doom and big teenage feelings, try:

You have me there, if it’s a triple dog dare by sulfuric

(1.6k words)

Takes the simple concept of a late night reddie conversation and packs it with angst & character study! A mutually in love teen Eddie and Richie hypothesise about running away, or rather ‘going missing’ together.

For fans of Eddie’s internalised homophobia, try:

we two boys together clinging by ladymemebeth

(2.9k words)

Where 17-year-old richie plucks up the courage to kiss eddie - only eddie can’t bring himself to kiss back, and does some introspection on Why That Is. Such a snappy and clever writing style to this one.

For fans of a very Richie Tozier coming of age, try:

boys will be boys by scullyseviltwin

(3.9k words)

This one really knocked me off my feet for a little while it’s FANTASTIC. Follows a teen Richie as he little by little starts fighting back against his bullies and discovers himself along the way. Ends on a sweet, happy note!

For fans of teen fluff & nostalgic vibes, try:

see the sky by ssstrychnine

(5.3k words)

This fic was posted right after the reboot came out, in september 2017! A gentle & fluffy slice of life of sorts, charting Richie and Eddie’s love for each other from right after summer 1989 up until they go to college.

For fans of middle-aged dude repression & overcoming it via Love, try:

Vessel and veins by lagaudiere

(5.1k words)

Follows richie and eddie in the wake of a love confession, struggling with the physical affection and couple-iness of it all…to such a degree richie ends up in the hospital…This fic is tender and funny with a perfect eddie character study running throughout.

For fans of horror & canon compliant suffering, try:

Hollow by val-creative

(1.3k words)

In only 1000 words, this fic is an absolute fucking sucker punch and i will not be forgetting it anytime soon. Wherein Richie can see dead people as an after effect of the deadlights, namely IT’s victims, ranging from Betty Ripsom to Eddie Kaspbrak. FYI this deals a lot with death & gore, and Richie also attempts suicide in it - please take care!

For fans of Mike Hanlon finally getting to relax and friendship fluff, try:

Better, I think by thewayaround

(2.5k words)

A super feelgood, everybody lives fix-it that starts with Stan showing Mike pics of his and Patty’s trip to Florida, and ends with all the losers taking a trip there together. This has a great Mike POV and I could honestly feel all the stress leaving my body while reading it.

For fans of fantasy & the power of brotherly love, try:

Georgie Denbrough, God of the Kenduskeag by manycoloureddays

(1.1k words)

A whimsical oneshot based on the Rivers of London books, wherein Georgie doesn’t die but rather becomes guardian of the Kenduskeag river & supports the losers throughout their IT-defeating journey.

For fans of heavy angst & richie loneliness, try:

the heartbreak prince (it's you and me, that's my whole world.) by dojin

(3.5k words)

A deliciously miserable study on Richie + grief after the events of IT 2019. It looks at how life keeps moving on for him while he can never stop grieving or loving Eddie, interspersed with heartbreaking still-alive-and-in-love Eddie dream sequences. Heed the tags on this!

For fans of domestic fluff, try:

we get to make it up by zach_stone (2.5k words)

Richie and Eddie spend an afternoon baking gluten free banana bread together! A super cute little glimpse into Reddie’s post chapter two domesticity! 

For fans of Richie suffering (positive), try:

sweet soft fever by moichi ( @clownbrainrot)

(2.5k words)

Eddie asks Richie for advice on creating a Grindr profile. Richie suffers through it. Hilarity ensues.

For fans of outsider PoVs, try:

love is the thing with wings (tweet tweet, richie) by lizifer

(870 words)

The person who sits next to Richie on the plane ride back to Los Angeles snoops on Richie while he's writing a love confession to Eddie.

For fans of sweet reddie bickering, try:

Playing for Keeps by LogicalBookThief ( @logicalbookthief )

(3.3k words)

This is a super cute fic wherein Richie and Eddie go onto one of those Newlyweds shows and absolutely smash it out of the fuckin park. The reddie dynamics are A++!

For fans of poetic, non-linear narratives, try:

what i'm made for has always been you by one whodiedyoung ( @onewhodiedyoung )

(3.5k words)

For fans of cathartic hurt/comfort, try:

the sound of the unlocking & the lift away by anemicaxolotl

(2.4k words)

Eddie-centric post canon events fic that deals with coping with the loss of a limb. Very sweet and cute.

For fans of Richie character studies and Christmas fics, try:

Hoarfrost by bellbawttoms ( @gaylittlerichie )

(5.4k words)

Richie and Eddie host a Christmas get-together, attended by Richie's parents, their emotional support friend, Mike, and Eddie's dog, Seymour. Hilarity ensues.

For fans of explicit fics with a comedic basis, try:

Helping Hand by curiousair

(4.4k words)

Richie gets the hiccups, and he reads online that sticking a finger up your butt can cure them.

For fans of post chapter two fix-it fics, try:

hope it does not heal by signetsealed

(4.9k words)

Post chapter two events, neither Richie nor Eddie can sleep, so they spend some time together, talking about anything and everythig.

[deadflowerssociety]

*ੈ✩‧₊༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊ *ੈ✩‧₊༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊ *ੈ✩‧₊༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom."–Aristotle

Until you find yourself you will always be someone else🫐🐇

Self discovery is a very hard and confusing process. We all tend to look for it, but it’s a slowly paced journey. Asking questions can help us understand ourselves better and it might help understand what we want and who we are (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

Ask yourself questions🫐

I want to be a part of your journey to self discover and self love. Try asking yourself those questions and save them for your future self.

1. How would you describe yourself in five words?

2. Do you consider yourself a positive person?

3. What is one thing that is going really well in your life right now?

4. What is one thing that really needs your attention?

5. What is your favorite thing about yourself?

6. What makes you anxious?

7. What makes you happy?

8. What makes you angry?

9. What are you passionate about?

10. How do you talk to yourself?

11. What has been bringing you joy lately?

12. Do you feel overwhelmed a lot?

13. Do you consider yourself generally optimistic or pessimistic?

14. Do you consider yourself introverted or extroverted? Do you wish you were more of one or the other?

15. What are your biggest daily distractions?

16. What are you excited about each day when you wake up?

17. Who is your biggest fan?

18. What makes you laugh out loud?

19. Are you indecisive or are you certain with your decisions?

20. Do you feel like you spend a lot of time overthinking?

21. Do you have a lot of regrets?

22. How much time do you spend per day on social media?

Do you see this as restful time or wasted time?

23. When do you feel like you are most "in your element"?

24. How much do you value other people's opinions?

25. What is the first thing you notice about other people?

26. What irritates you?

27. Do you consider yourself brave? Why?

28. Someone just handed you a million dollars.what are you going to do with it?

29. What piece of advice would you give to 16 year old you?

30. Who are the most important people in your life?

31. What is your biggest worry?

32. What keeps you grounded?

33. Are you good at planning or do you typically "fly by the seat of your pants"?

34. When you look in the mirror, what do you say to yourself?

35. How would you describe your childhood?

36. What are your top priorities right now?

37. Would you consider yourself a people pleaser?

38. What is the number one thing you do when you're upset?

39. In five years, what do you want to be able to say you've accomplished?

40. What are your biggest stressors right now?

41. What is holding you back from achieving your goals right now?

42. What is one thing you never get tired talking about?

43. What makes you feel peaceful and content?

44. How do you practice self care?

45. What is one thing you wish more people knew about you?

46. What is your relationship with money? Do you consider yourself frugal? Good with a budget? An overspender?

47. What keeps you up at night?

48. Who do you go to for advice?

49. What is one thing you've always wanted to do? Why haven't you done it?

50. Do you consider yourself a productive person?

51.Where is your favorite place to be?

52. What is your biggest dream?

53. Describe your ideal day.

54. Do you consider yourself confident? Resilient? Passionate?

55. How do you define success? What do you need to do to consider yourself successful?

56. What calms you down when you're angry?

57. What is one thing you need to forgive yourself for?

58. Who do you talk to when you're struggling?

59. What are you grateful for?

60. What is one bad habit you'd like to eliminate?

61. Is there anyone you need to apologize to?

62. What is your dream job?

63. What offends you?

64. What is the last lie you told?

65. Do you consider yourself laid back or wound tight?

66. Did you make someone smile today? Laugh? Cry?

67. Who is the kindest person you know?

68. What are the top three things on your bucket list?

69. If you could hire a coach right now, what would it be for?

70. What do people always come to you for? Advice? A listening ear? Fun night out? A favor?

71. What do you need to heal from? How are you making that healing happen?

72. Where do you spend most of your time? How could you make that environment better?

73. When you die, what do you want people to remember about you?

74. Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten years?

75. What does unconditional love mean to you?

76. What is one thing you absolutely cannot live without?

77. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

78. Name the five people you spend the most time with. Now describe them. Do you consider them to be positive influences?

79. How is "public you" different than "private you?

80. What are you dreading?

81. What motivates you?

82. How do you handle conflict?

83. What is your biggest pet peeve?

84. What inspires you?

85. Are you a jealous person?

86. What have you given up on?

87. Name three things you love about your life.

88. What are your favorite activities?

89. What are your first thoughts when you wake up?

90. Describe one moment in life you'll never forget.

91. Are you living life on your own terms? Or trying to live up to others expectations?

92. What quality do you admire most in others?

93. What drains your energy?

94. Who do you trust most in your life?

95. What is something you avoid like the plague?

96. How do you handle change?

97. What do you need to let go of?

98. How connected to your friends, family, community do you feel?

99. How balanced do you consider your work/home life?

100. Overall, do you consider yourself happy?

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

🫐🐇100 questions might seem like a lot of work and struggle, but it really does help to know how you can improve and grow as a human being.

xoxo,

deadflowerssociety🪷

I really appreciate reblogs🐇🤍

[melonmaw]

Teen Dad Logan AU [REPOST]

In case ya'll can't tell, I love de-aging logan. I think it's really interesting to play with a more emotional/ less bogged down Logan, and it's even more fun to throw him at the people he typically helps mentor/raise. Anyways.

Teen Dad Logan :)

Or, I suppose more accurately, Young Dad Logan. And by adjacency, Uncle Dad Victor.

This turned out to be one of my largest pieces of writing ever  Bee-Tee-Dubs so its going to be under this to not Kill You All:

So in this AU they meet when they're 10 and 11, Jimmy just out of foster care after they found out he's a mutant, and Vic a few weeks after murdering his Father. 

At first, it's honestly Jimmy showing Victor a lot of things. Simple things, like how to forage and how to scent, but it's all...quiet. Jimmy already carries a sense of shame for his ferocity that Vic never enjoys. So he draws the kid into fights, helps him laugh until his face is red with laughter instead of shame. He learns about him, and in turn Jimmy learns about him. Happy enough kids until things turned south. One was locked up and the other ran away. They escaped and found each other. It was meant to be.

Victor gives him his new name. Jimmy hasn't felt like His in a long time and the first time Vic calls him Logan, he beams.

Vic still calls him Jimmy when he's scared, but it's their little secret.

Anyways, they stay rough and tumble until The developers in the Weapon X project find them, aged 14 and 15 respectively. It's Victor's idea that they stay. Logan, for all his desires to settle down, feels chafed by the military, but Vic sees through that, see's what they could be, in the future. See's him and his Runt living free after serving, what's a few years as lab rats if they get all their adult life? What's being looked at like a monster when he's allowed to be a monster and still get schooling? Logan doesn't think any of these things, but when Vic nods, he does too.

They're only allowed to be together for the first three months, and then their forced apart, to 'reduce codependency'. They last two years without each other, and when they're reunited...things are different.

Creed has grown into his role, with each murder proving that his dad wasn't special, he's always been meant for this, how dare Anyone Try to stop him. He's become an Animal. Sabretooth.

And Wolverine....is Wolverine now. But it doesn't take long before Vic realizes something is wrong. Wolverine glances at him, but there's no glint of recognition in his eyes. As Creed starts to question him, he thinks it's a clone. So he Kills It. 

Its only the third time Logan revives and puts his claws through Creed's chest that Creed realizes it's his runt. Still, being forgotten stings, being ignored stings worse, and there's a lot more blood shed before the guards are able to separate the two.

Safe to say they butt heads a lot more. Vic goads him often, word for word the way he used to, and like a house of cards, Wolverine always folds. The only times he seems to come back to himself for a moment, are the moments after Creed's killed him, and he's just waking up. He'll get a look on his face, one Vic recognizes. He's seen it a hundred of times before, even if the runt always tried to hide it:

Fear. Exhaustion.

They never talk. Victor pets his hair as Logan's throat is rapidly sewing itself back together, or Logan rumbling under Vic's body as his puncture wounds close. In those moments, Logan Remembers.

...

It all starts to fall apart when one Logan Howlett, at the fresh age of 18, is chosen to become Weapon X.

Creed sees red. This was HIS goal, His to earn, that stupid brat doesn't even want to be here, Logan doesn't even remember why he's-

He doesn't even remember why he came here in the first place.

But Sabretooth is smart. He figures out when, and where, they're going to do the operation. And obviously, he bursts in.

As he does, he overhears a Commander noting that they should 'wipe wolverines mind clean one last time, to make sure he's only obedient to them. 

And that is First Strike.

Victor lashes out, taking down a doctor and a guard before anyone can blink. But his noise distracts the surgeons and other doctors carefully monitoring The Wolverine's Adamantium intake, and one of them nudges their controls in their scramble to get away, pushing significantly more onto his skeleton than originally planned.

Victor stops when he hears screaming.

Logan hears....nothing. He knows the procedure is going to begin, but he doesn't know when. When the burning starts, he goes to that little place in his head he pretends he doesn't have. He sees flashes of Creed's face, snarling and smiling, and he feels...safe. He sees white, and red hair and...hears yelling. His eyes open, and immediately close as salt water rushes into them. He breathes unsteadily through his

The water stops draining but the burning doesn't stop. Worse, his head feels like it's being torn apart, a feeling he remembers but can't name. And suddenly, nothing matters because,

Sabretooth is calling him Jimmy and why why WHY DOES EVERYTHING HURT OW OW OW OW OW OW Victor help please please plEASE PLEASE VICTOR VIC-

...

Safe to say the adamantium causes even more psychological damage to them.

There is one single benefit: The Memory Adjustment failed. In fact, it failed so bad that Creed, for three whole days, get's Logan to himself.

They don't do much. Logan wakes up and launches himself at Vic, legs collapsing as his ligaments struggle to accustom themselves to the weight of his new bones. He's in constant pain, mostly just looking at Vic with big, sad brown eyes until he lies back down with him on the shitty Hospital ordered bed. It creaks under them, but thankfully never gives.

When they do talk, they don't talk about the memories. About Wolverine gutting Sabretooth to prove a point, about Sabretooth biting out his spinal chord, about Wolverine ripping out his teeth in claws. None of it matters. They know it can't last. Creed didn't plan, and Logan is too weak to think, not that he does much of that in the first place.

After those days of clarity post operation, Logan is wiped clean. And for the next year, it's back to normal. For Wolverine at least.

But of course, Logan has to beat him to the punch. Literally.

Around a month after the one year anniversary of his Surgery, Wolverine comes Bursting through the training rooms, with twenty guards hot on his trail. Sabretooth, a Predator, Obviously follows. Logan runs and runs and runs, and eventually rips the door of a particular room, to reveal...

an eerily large room filled with tubes. There's wires and things being suspended in liquid, and at first, Victor can't comprehend what he's looking at. By the time he reads 'X-02', Doner Wolverine, Logan's already broken three of the tubes with his claws, uncaring of the thick glass cutting him open in retribution for being shattered.

people go flying, and as they hit equipment the room itself begins to collapse, separating Sabretooth from Wolverine. Wolverine continues through the rooms, ensuring that there's nothing deeper inside that can help them make more of him. He has enough nightmares. Sabretooth stays back to help finish the job. All those tubes don't destroy themselves, you know?

He finds a room full of his samples, and a woman in a chair. A woman with a bullet in her neck instead of her head. Poor thing had probably gotten caught in between him and the guards. But why was she just sitting-

The woman has a baby in her arms, tubes still attached. He growls for a moment, moving to finishes her off, but freezes when she and she's groans.

"Laura...Laura..."

Logan looks at her little beady eyes, mousy brown hair, and knows...she's his. 

Before he's even thought about it she's cradled in his arms, evidently all wrong because she starts to wail and Vic skids in, shoulder denting the doorframe as he stops and stares at the scene in front of him.

The woman gives one final shudder, and her head lulls. Dead.

Still, there's no time to think. Victor hears thuds getting closer to the room, and as he looks to his right he realizes there's only one way out. The window. Oh well.

with a swear, he lifts Logan by the back of his jacket and gives him a shove, and his back goes strait through the paneling and out of the fourth story. Victor whoops, and follows him down. By the time he's already made his much more elegant landing, Logan is groaning and cussing him out as much as his winded lungs will let him, which is a surprising amount. Still, Vic scruffs him again and sets him on his feet, and nods in the direction of the woods.

"Lets go."

And they do.

They end up being surrounded by the X-Men  somewhere in Maine and are "Invited" to Stay at Xavier's school. Logan decides for them this time. A house, a promise that the government will be dealt with for them, and that he can get all of his memories back are very good motivators. And they an finish their education.

Victor actually...enjoys classes. He likes being smart, and it's easy. Logan does Charter school. He had lasted exactly a week in public education before deciding that if he had to deal with one more idiotic comment from one of those stupid fucking kids he was going to-

Well. His words were Not Child Friendly, so he made sure to cover his kid's ears. Besides, he's bonded with fellow teen Rogue and preteen Jubilee and Kitty (his daughters) like little sisters, but he never really settles unless he's with his Kid. His Laura.

He had to fight to keep her, a young unstable mutant like him was not the ideal parent, but for the first two months, she sobbed if anyone else held her, terrible screeches, and would reach for him to the point of falling out of people's arms. And, he had imprinted on her too. He swore he could tell when she was happy or uncomfortable before she could, would burp her or flip her back onto her back before she got fed up with tummy time.

Vic is Terrified of touching her but refuses to admit it. He carefully runs his finger down her pudgy little cheek, in awe of her soft skin against his knuckle,  when she moves suddenly, and she attempts to nuzzle her way into his palm. He, obligingly, opens his hand. When one of his claws scrapes her hair, he freezes, waiting for her to cry out. Instead, she burbles happily, honey brown eyes giving him long, slow blinks.

She likes his head scratches the best. 

Logan sometimes falls asleep with her on his stomach on the couch, leaving Victor to carry him AND his clingy baby back to bed, the crib next to them so Laura can still grab onto Logans finger. They sleep together now, in a nest of blankets and pillows, Logans hand always off the bed but still somehow still touching Vic, as if to make sure he's still there.

Their codependency is back full swing, and the only time they can be reliably separated is when Vic goes to school, because he goes with Scotty, and the Boy Scout would never let anything happen to another mutant, even if that mutant makes him want to shoot him with his laser-beam full power just to see what would happen.

Thankfully, because of Victor's presence, the Mind Adjustment does actually work, but it leaves Logan questioning his parallel memories for years. In the process they realize that...Victor's memories have been tampered with too.

But that is a story for another time.

[cozylittleartblog]

idk if I've said it before, but your portrayals of both Rouxls and Queen are among my favorites, and the way they are when you combine the two is the sole thing that got me to say "yes" to queenkaard. When I first saw it in the game and it started catching on as a ship, I was like "nooo I hc him as gay," but then after seeing your stuff I was like "oh nvm I totally see this now."

i think hearing "i didn't see this ship before, but after your art i understand it and/or even ship it myself" is one of the nicest compliments i get, because it makes me feel like i'm representing something meaningful and sweet about a pairing and having people understand what i think is so great and captivating about them. i've gotten a couple asks like this and sometimes i forget to respond but i always really appreciate them :) thank you very much

[dantoru]

“thank you for being my friend all this time”

(pls don’t tag as ship‼️ thank you❤️)

[piko-rose]

My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)

When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.

She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.

She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.

She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.

...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.

Remember this line?

You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:

Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?

...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)

As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.

She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.

I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.

...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.

I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.

And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.

She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.

During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.

She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.

But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.

Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.

...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?

But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.

If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.

I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.

She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.

Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.

So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.

She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.

For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.

She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.

But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.

If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.

But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.

He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.

He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)

She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.

He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.

Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.

They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.

None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.

It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.

Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.

She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.

She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...

She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.

I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.

How much he loves her.

And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.

Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.

It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.

She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.

I feel like this moment here...

-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.

Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.

And it's all thanks to Sonic.

If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.

Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.

He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.

Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.

Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.

They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.

"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

[aenslem]

people who don't follow you, but tag you and then delete your tag after you reblog their post...

[feroluce]

Some off the cuff 1k of Skirk & Tartaglia (skirtaru???) hcs before 4.2 proves me wildly wrong, they are very much a dynamic in process to be changed as we see more of them and as I think and consider them more, but I wanna see them interact so BAD.

Anyway. Tartaglia is an idiot who develops a crush, or at least something like a crush, on anyone who can give him a good fight. Obviously there are plenty of people who can just kick his ass- he's ranked at the bottom of the Harbingers. But they all suck, and there's no passion when they fight! They don't appreciate it the way Tartaglia does! So it's not a good fight and those assholes don't count!

So I think little Tartaglia was doomed the second he saw a very very pretty lady with a very very sharp sword and she immediately beat the shit out of him. Like she awakened something in him right then and there, unfortunately for the rest of the world haha

And then! Not only could she beat him one handed! But she took the time to teach him! And this! This was exactly what Tartaglia had wanted when he ran away from home with nothing but some food and his sword! He'd wanted an adventure! He'd wanted something new and different and wild!

And he can have that now, with Skirk and the Abyss! So his crush could have instantly dissolved right there, but it didn't, because Skirk was weird and interesting and Tartaglia adored that.

((Wheezing imagining Tartaglia trying to show off because he wants to impress his shifu, and she genuinely is impressed because Tartaglia progressed so fast, but then she pops his teenage boy ego with a pin and he deflates sjzjnskdkz))

He develops such an endless amount of respect and admiration for her. He's so happy and so proud of himself when he masters the Foul Legacy, because this was a goal laid by his shifu and hell yeah, he blew it out of the water!! And I'd like to think this was when Skirk said those words in his profile-

"You shall ever be the eye of the storm,"

"And the clashing of steel shall ever accompany you."

"The pitch-black memory of stepping into uttermost darkness,"

"Shall, at last, become the strength by which you will overturn this world."

-with Tartaglia knelt before her and her sword at his cheek, as though she were knighting him. And Tartaglia realizes then that oh. He likes it here. He likes being in the Abyss. He likes being with Skirk. He likes hunting and killing and surviving here in the Abyss with Skirk. Morepesok is and will always be home, but it was stagnant there. Too much of the same. No room for growth.

But the Abyss is boundless possibility to explore in every direction, and Skirk has never flinched away from him even once. Tartaglia can be as violent and bloodthirsty as he wants; Skirk is worse. She gives zero shits. She loves to fight and hunt and kill and make things bleed. Tartaglia is free to explore and revel in all of his worst inclinations and instincts and that is what the Abyss and Skirk become to him. Freedom.

And then he falls out of the Abyss just as suddenly as he had fallen into it. He didn't even get to say goodbye.

And it's not all bad or anything. Tartaglia isn't miserable. He's plenty capable of making his own happiness. He brings his own joy everywhere he goes (derogatory, unfortunate for everyone else ndkdjdjkd) and he genuinely likes being around other people. He would have missed a lot of things if he'd been permanently trapped.

But now there is an itch that he can't scratch. And it's driving him nuts. And he misses Skirk. She was fun to be around. He liked her.

He finds himself seeing things in everyday life and wishing he could show her. He pulls out ingredients in the kitchen for dinner and wants her to eat his special dish and show off how good he can cook. He reads through reports about the Abyss and he never finds what he's looking for (a swordswoman, an entrance, anything-), but he wants to ask her her opinions about them. He sees a really nice sword and wonders if she would like it. Little things.

Tartaglia decides he's going to find her. Even if it's just for a chance to thank her. Even if it takes years, decades. He just wants to see her again.

And then, it finally happens! They really do get to reunite! I have no idea what will happen in the archon quest of course, but like. I really like the idea that after things settle down, Skirk decides to stay for a while. She doesn't really want to live here or anything, but she's curious. She wants to see what Teyvat is like. She especially wants to see Snezhnaya, like Tartaglia used to talk about. And Tartaglia decides to go with her, he's an experienced traveler, a man of the world after all! He'll take her wherever she'd like to go.

And I'd love for them to say goodbye to The Traveler and Paimon and depart from Fontaine on a classic will-they-won't-they sort of vibe, where it's obvious that Tartaglia has Some Feelings about Skirk, but it's not clear how Skirk really feels about him yet. But it's the kind of thing where it's hopeful, and you want to root for the guy to get his love interest haha.

(The Traveler and Paimon bump into them a few months later and Paimon chides Tartaglia because Childe have you seriously not confessed yet the hell have you been doing all this time, which he responds to with hey, Skirk is a classy lady, give me time to do it right! and meanwhile The Traveler can see around Tartaglia to where Skirk is sitting at their campfire, manspreading on a fallen log, eating raw meat with blood on her face and dripping down her arms BNSKXJSMKDMD)

[litrallytyrus]

the annie / troy / abed friendship trio means more to me than words could ever describe