#they can complain a lil bit
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yet another little Treat for myself! do i have a problem? maybe!
#got two lil jars As You All Can See to transfer the hearts into#and then i caved and got myself some snowflakes because i need some stress relief tonight!!!#sprinkle hours sprinkle hours-#photos from the bog#soon i will have Four little sprinkle jars on my shelf!#ohhhh and letti has discovered their refilled scratching circle...#im so glad i was able to go into town and get her a new collar PLUS! scratchy wheel#UPDATE! SHE IS LAYING ON IT! THE QUEEN APPROVES!#actually allow me to gush about her she's such a polite little beast#i had to put her new collar on#and she 1) came when called 2) jumped onto the stool and sat when asked 3) stayed perfectly and Patiently! still as i put the collar on#AND adjusted it!#she didn't complain or squirm one bit!#she let it happen and when i let go she stayed put and politely waited for a treat (or two! we indulge here!)#she looks so fancy...#i still dont know what happened to her other collar! the pendant was so nice!#now she has a shitty fish one </3#but her collar is a lovely blue with gold sun/moons on it#i thought it would compliment her lovely white & caramel fur! i was Correct!
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Trying to get the hang of his design so I can draw gay shit 😌
#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#trigun#trigun vash#vash fanart#newest blorbo <3#I am slightly insane about the whole anime rn#so I'll be sketching the others a bit too and after that I'll be unstoppable#I love how you can tell which one I drew first#anyway#I didn't understand much of the show but idk if that's bc I watched it in English without subtitles#or bc I'm a lil too dumb for it#or bc I should read the manga and watch the og one too for context#still it's got me in a chokehold and I'm not complaining u_u#shrews art
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(last post of the night I promise) so ole Mr Grizz isn't hiding his distain for sea life anymore if this memo is anything to go by....
ALSO INTERESTING FIRST TAG THERE GRIZZ, NOT REMINDING ME OF ANY ATARI ESQUE HORROR GAMES AT ALL, NOPE (IYKYK)
#splatoon#splatoon 3#salmon run#This is the extra Wandercrust salmon run info in the Splat 3 app btw#Basically the gist of it is ink you turf in salmon run can be used in redeeming Wandercrust rewards#But sneaky Nintendo just had to add a bit of lore/character building huh#Also lol at Mr Grizz being a literal boomer with the 'you're being needy stop complaining ' mindset#....or is this Lil Judd talking now?#Hmmmmmm
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#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before#is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things#the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the#weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad#not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a#prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country#my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for#treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad#as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain#shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing#to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird#when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk#i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach#out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home#somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long#term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting#whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot#i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors#i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival#unrelated
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Amanda Grayson with her Hubby and Stepson
#I wanted to redesign Amanda Grayson bc I like her flamboyant old woman look but when she's young they always style her look very bland#and proper...and I want her to look like kind of a hippie teacher mess#Amanda & Sarek - annoying girl x killjoy guy#we are each insufferable in our own unique ways#Amanda has a way of getting to people - whether it's good or bad depends on the person but she's someone you remember and who it's easy to#end up talking to for hours and Sarek realizes this too late...before he even knows whats happening he's grocery shopping with this woman as#they both complain about how BRIGHT the store lights are#Sarek: (on date number five) ..........I have a son by the way / Amanda: Aw shit. Let's go to chuck E Cheese.#Amanda goes into Sarek's quarters for the first time and is like this place is AWFUL!! and by the end of the week she's redecorated.#She built him a bedside table. He bought her a pair of gaudy earrings which she loved but didn't get herself during one of their shopping#trips bc she exclaimed 'Ugh! Who do I think I am!?' and speed walked away#Also last bit of personal lore but Amanda told Sarek (as a joke) that before they got married he should ask her father first#(she said this bc Sarek asked her to marry him on like the second date since Vulcans don't date - she said no)#so when Sarek meets Amanda's father he asks the man to marry him - misinterpreting her words (Amanda DIES laughing)#Sarek seems straight but tradition is tradition - if he has to marry Amanda's dad before he can marry her he'll deal with it#Stepmom Amanda swag...she's gonna give this grumpy lil boy a piggyback ride and giggle about his dad with him#anyway...I like this version of Amanda - she makes her own kombucha and insists you take a jar home with you#Sarek/Amanda#star trek#star trek art#Sarek#Amanda Grayson#sarek art#amanda grayson art#bea art tag#Sarek calls Amanda : dear darling beloved blossom my heart etc#Amanda calls Sarek: elbows knees bigntall sharpie etc#the times she calls him stuff like 'honeycake' and other such stupid-sweet things are times he pretends to find baffling but cherishes 4ever#couple that has a list of things to ask before they eat at a new place#Is it vegetarian? Is it kosher? Is it organic? Is it spicy?
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i am. so bad at waiting. my anxiety is getting off the fucking charts
#waiting is the best and only thing i can do. i did everything else i could#i can't give up. i have to wait#why is it all so complicated....#(i'm fine! just complaining a lil bit. as a treat)#personal
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#there is smth in my eye and it is ruining my life#my eye hurts !!!#anyways i gave someone a less than positive response at work to the usual how aee you#*are#and they said i was supposed to be their lil bit of positivity#never have i been in a positive mood at work. constantly in a i wanna die mood#anyways idk how i fooled ppl into thinking i am lil miss sunshine 😭😭😭#also got a prize at work 😔✋🏻 box of maltesers that then were left to melt in my boiling hot car 😔#but . literally whenever a manager wants to talk to me. its bc theyre giving me a like box of chocolate or smth#i shan’t complain. i like chocolate and being told i’m doing well#but tbh i work well mostly so i can be left alone#the gifts are an added bonus#my no.1 prize was like 2 years ago and it was a paid day off#i want one of those bad boys again#worst has been a bottle of wine. bc i dont drink#personal
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I want cuddddllleeessss and to trace his thiiiiigghhhhssss and spoooooon.. play with his beard.. I just want to be with him! !! !!!!
#idk#txt#i feel almost numb at this point idk#i want to cry#cause#like im repeating myself but i dont want to move on#or get over it#i want to fix it and be eith him#with#im sorrrryyyy im so annoying i have a psych thing booked so ill annoy them with this but#fuck i must have complained a lot to him#cause i just#wont#shut#up#atm#can time stop#or can i reverse shit#listened to some paul kelly with my parents and the two songs he sung#were like so specifically how i feel#it was odd and made me cry a lil bit#plus hes just an amazing poet#point is if i coukd relive that day id do so much differengly#differently#or yknow#the past 5 mknths#months#why am i awake
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Surprisingly not that into the "uncanny Vash" trend. Bc like while I am an unrepentant monsterfucker & I LOVE when he gets super inhuman in appearance. A lot of these "uncanny vash" things just... don't feel like him. It feels like knock-off horror portrayals slapped onto his face.
For the ones that actually work with what he is, I LOVE it. But the ones that r just trying to make him some unrelated horror caricature... I'm just not into it.
#speculation nation#not main tagging this bc i dont wanna poop on ppl's fun#bc ultimately it's harmless so im not Truly complaining#it just doesnt feel like him much of the time. so im not reblogging them lol#i think he truly has the ability to be uncanny but it manifests more in the ways he moves & the biological oddities of the plants#being a bit physically Off. a bit too long of limbs. maybe some glowing eyes. the second set of lids. the too-sharp teeth of Course.#he is something inhuman masquerading as a human. and that can manifest in a lot of ways#i think my biggest problem with the trend is the ways ppl r pushing their ideas of Uncanny onto him#i saw mention of like vash suddenly Growing Taller. which does not track. aside from the feathers & angel arm#his body is actually quite static. he's able to move in really weird ways (Super Flexible. perhaps even unnaturally so. smth else uncanny)#but he Never changes form. his body is his body. aside from the times it decides to get a lil feathery with it lol#in terms of aus Sure ok the uncanny thing is just a fun thing for people to explore#but im much more interested in exploring the oddities of his physical form as he is in canon#so much potential right there. so much left unsaid. so much to extrapolate from.#im not going to lose interest in canon vash so long as im interested in this manga. and that's a promise.
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I haven't known peace since I started talking to men
#being a lil hoe was such a mistake bc now men are my only hobby but i don't want this anymore#i got too hot and i need to stop#i pull way too many hoes#no but this is actually a bit of a problem for me#i just want friends but virtually every man thinks I'm hot and funny so they aren't content with friendship#suffering from success ig#ik that sounds like such a bitchy thing to complain about but i am so serious#bc i have made very nice friendships that i cherished and valued. then once they realize they don't have a chance they stop talking to me#which is very hurtful#how can i make it so men aren't into me anymore but still enjoy me enough to be friends#honestly idc if they are into me as long as we can still be friends#like realistically bae is a good friend and yet we are both deeply into each other#whatever goodnight#Sera
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every time i see asmongold's face on my yt home page i feel the urge to take a shower
#he makes it so embarrassing to be a warcraft player. i dont care about him personally but i loathe his content#he looks like a mandela catalogue alternate of moistcritikal#they both make the same 'content' too which is just sitting watching other peoples content and babbling abt it on stream#except moistcritikal doesnt spent 80% of the time complaining abt the game he owns his entire career too and repeating the same dumb shit#and critikal does talk videos too which is a little better i guess#idk it feels like ever since i started adhd medication the list of youtubers i can stomach watching is getting less and less#luke.txt#im a lil bit grumpy today im sry fghgfg
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i think aziraphale would really love little embroidery floss friendship bracelets. he'd rope crowley into making them too and crowley'd complain and gripe the whole time but secretly he loves that they made each other friendship bracelets
#crowley: why are you making me do this they're just fancy knots i have important demon business i need to do you know#aziraphale: that's nice dear please make sure you include yellow in mine :)#aziraphale is incredibly smug that despite all his complaining crowley is NEVER seen without one of the bracelets any more#even as a snake he wears it like a little necklace#and crowley melts a lil bit every time he can see one of the bracelets he made whenever aziraphale's sleeve gets tugged up#thank you for coming to my ted talk#illogical rambles#good omens
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Short "comic" idea i wanna draw but idk if I'll ever get around to it because Motivation A Bitch™️:
Synnda & Chakem: *first Big Kiss*
Chakem: *pulls away startled*
Synnda: *thinks he did something wrong*
Chakem: *wasn't expecting FANGS*
Chakem: ...
Chakem: plz bite me
Synnda: ??????
#swtor#jedi consular#bounty hunter#voids ocs#oc: synnda v'ehsz#oc: chakem vira#synnda x chakem#chakem has a lot of Types#he just. didnt expect synnda to be the top with sharp teeth type#....not that hes complaining#maybe ill write a lil fic for this instead 😂#it is an important detail for this to know that synnda Always wears a mask#and even if he Didnt. chakem is miraluka. he doesnt know what synnda looks#aside from what he can sense Anyway#fangs were a Bit of a surprise
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#guess whos back in therapy bby 😎#the lady i saw was nice. 1st appointments r always a lotta blah blah blah so much to cover#and im always like bleh whatever im not that bad but when u put it all down on paper it is sorta a lot lol#i got the comment. hm u seem to kno a lot abt the dsm. and like listen. i have been meticulously categorizing my problems for the last 4#years. and i like to learn so ya kno. also said yea it sounds like u r having hypomanic episodes.#and asked if bipolar was a possibility and like if i was bipolar that would absolutely blow my god damn mind. im pretty sure its just pmdd#but whatever. im open to the possibility. mostly i wanna hear someone else perspective on this#i feel like im collaborating on a project. like gimmie ur notes i wanna see if were on the same track. bc im insane like that#i always feel bad when they apologize for asking invasive questions. like neh its fine. i got nothin to hide and i dont give a fuck#also i told a class of my peers that my distraction from research is drawing narut0 fan art. again bc i do not#give a single fuck. Professors response: hopefully we get to see it some day. bro. if u ask me i will show u. i do not care#i mean. probably nothing too weird but i feel like most of my stuff is safe to share. i just come off looking like a weeb i guess#but yea back in therapy bc my mum reminded me bc the ppl around me irl r also worried for my well-being based on my behavior lol#i mean its just bc i complain that im in like psychological pain a lot. so lots and lots of bitching abt my brain ^^#the lady i saw did fall a lil bit into my trap. like what woulf ur life look like if u had everything under control? bc it seems like ur#here and ur starting a phd what more do u want? and im like mwahaha but u see i can do school#i can do school so good. i am the best at school and thats it. i am otherwise barely functional#so i can be successful on paper and dysfunctional when it comes to having a life :-]#but whatever. well see what she wants to follow up on next week bc i threw a lot at her#also went to my office for the 1st time. it is really nice to sit in a working lab and watch ppl interact. but also i do feel like im#dying if i try to sit in that room with 2 other ppl lol. so well see how it goes. i may find somewhere else to hide#unrelated
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i cant remember where i found this picture but i love it
^ miserable
#perhaps i will draw. maybe.#probably not but Maybe. i can see him in my head. lil techno teary eyed standing on a rock looking like he's 1ft tall jdhjdh#i feel a bit better after ranting a bit yesterday. maybe i just need to vent more often lmao#venting to priv isnt enough i need to publicly complain#chat
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In my bathroom I currently have four orchids (two large two small) a chunk of wood full of mushrooms and an old spider nest a venus flaytrap a pitcher plant (i feed them dermestids since i have too many rn anyway) a petra croton a climbing ivy a little dish full of mossy rocks (i wanna make a stained glass terrarium to put them and my carnivorous plants in) a big ass fat ass monstera some dried eucalyptus a pothos hanging from a ceiling hook and a chunk of it im propogating. and its not enough i want more i need ferns i need shit growing along the ceiling
#i even started all the seeds i started to a little grow light station downstairs w my moms plants#*moved the ones i started#i started trying to give my bathroom a bit of a goth lean and quickly gave up and just lept full force into insane plant woman theme#looking at the garden section in lowes last night my friend even complained i dont need more bc my bathroom is like a jungle already#well guess what. i havent even started putting up shelves yet#ive seen ppl who hang a bar from the ceiling over their shower and hang plants from it#but i dont think its actually a good idea most plants dont like such drastically changing temp/ humidity#in the bathroom is fine but right there IN the shower is probably a lil too much for them to handle#i just brought the monstera home too and had to remove some leaves due to water damage so#as long as i can care for it properly. its only gonna get bigger
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