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repentarium · 2 years

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the truth is i've been dreaming of this tired, tranquil place tag 13/??

ao3

By the time Steve gets back to the table with fresh beers, the conversation has moved on to talking about puppets and elves, some movie, he thinks, Steve is content to fully zone out and stand next to where Eddie is gesticulating and laughing. His earring and his rings and his eyes are reflecting the party lights; he’s lost his fangs at some point, and Steve hopes he hasn’t swallowed them. Beetlejuice left a while ago to get another drink, but he’s been gone long enough he may have gotten lost along the way.

A large group of people have made their way upstairs to the bar, so it’s not quite as quiet anymore, and the people pressing together tightly means Steve is leaning onto the high table and pressed against Eddie’s side. The stool he’s perched on has Eddie a little taller, but their shoulders bump together when he flails and stretches.

Steve hasn’t been this drunk in a while; maybe the last time was at a house party or something, and being drunk at those is a very different feeling from being drunk now, a little too hot but comfortable and just kind of existing , watching and hearing and feeling and breathing.

As he nears the end of this last beer, he’s by no means trashed, but it's so easy to lean into the buzz and lean into Eddie, who is warm and familiar and maybe his favorite person, who throws his arm around Steve's shoulders and gives him a little squeeze as he talks to his friend with the KISS makeup on. His long fingers are splayed across Steve's upper arm, and he feels safe.

So he leans, hard, and nearly falls hard, and blinks hard up at Eddie, who is talking animatedly to KISS Guy, and the lights are on some kind of flashy tear that hurts his eyes, and his own clothes are so itchy but Eddie looks incredible and his eyes are friendly and sparkly and his hair looks so soft and all at once right away Steve feels physically electrified because those thoughts? They aren't exactly heterosexual. They're perhaps a little fruity, thinking about how soft Eddie looks, how his hair would be so soft under his hands and probably his cheeks would also be soft and hell so would his lips, soft like friends yeah but maybe soft like more than that.

Definitely not straight thoughts. He has to clear his throat and take a drink because his mouth is so dry suddenly.

Eddie's friend leaves, gesturing that he's gonna get a drink, and Eddie looks down at where Steve feels like he's melting against his side. Eddie’s eyes are still alive and twinkling and whole, and he must see something when he meets Steve's eye because he's pulling them away, away from the speakers to stand in the dark and relative quiet at the back of the room near the bathrooms, where that couple had been earlier.

'You okay there darlin'?' Eddie's not terribly drunk either; he's been matching Steve all night and he holds his liquor a little better these days (since King Steve's overthrow), but his voice is soft and slow like molasses and Steve can hear just a little of the same kind of accent he could hear in Wayne's voice.

He just nods and puts a hand on Eddie's arm, isn't sure how to put into words all the jumbling thoughts he's having, especially not the ones that are god he's so pretty and I think I might love him, that's what this feels like and I am going to kiss him, actually.

See, Steve knows he's a fool, that he falls in love too fast and too hard and is overbearing, that his love is big like religion and it scares people away, scares him too. He knows that Eddie is his best friend, maybe even better than Robin, don't tell her, but he can't help it. It feels so normal and so nice to lean into him again in that moment, and he can't help but put his other hand on his cheek (soft, he was right, so soft just like he thought it'd be, and the hair his finger tips brush into at the nape of his neck? Also just as soft as he'd imagined, sure just now but actually maybe before too, not that he hadn't touched Eddie’s hair before but like this ? Even softer) and he feels absolutely delirious when Eddie swallows and kind of chuckles and says his name so quietly, more like just mouthing the sounds into a question than actually speaking them but Steve hears it all the same.

'Hey.' he says, feels his heart jackhammering somewhere up near his throat. 'I think. Um.’ He swallows, licks his lips. ‘I think I want to…' Steve leans in a little more, slowly so he doesn't frighten Eddie (or himself) and he feels puffs of air against his own lips for a brief moment, thinks maybe Eddie is also having some kind of revelation because when he pulls back a little to check he's looking back at him with just the largest eyes, like he's looking at god and not just the dethroned king of Hawkins High, and then they're kissing.

It's soft, barely even touching, but it feels somehow like it's fixing something in Steve, like those fucking vines from the Upside Down are back again and they're in his chest but they're doing good things, like settling and stabling. Then Eddie pushes in just a little more, turns his own head and grabs at Steve so they can press in a little firmer, a little closer still, and it's like his foundation is shaken apart again, but instead of feeling unsure it feels right even in its borderline terror, like he can touch the ground again. Like this is what he was missing, like all the people he’s kissed so far weren't right because they were just leading up to this exact and perfect moment.

They haven't done anything, not really, but Steve feels like he can't catch his breath so he pulls away to press his forehead against Eddie's and wonder and gasp along with him.

'Eddie?' Steve doesn't know what to say or how to tell him all of the flooding and rushing emotions he's having, doesn't know how to put into words that this is it , what he's been looking for he thinks for his whole life, that this is important , that this is exactly why Eddie feels like home to him because he is. And yeah he’s been coming up on this realization for a while now, slowly and stupidly, but goddamn if it doesn’t just fit .

Eddie pulls farther away in a startle as someone says something to him and he says 'actually we were just leaving' and grabs Steve's hand to pull him outside.

It's chilly outside now, not exactly cold, but when Eddie pulls him around the side of the building and presses his back up against the brick Steve feels the bite of it through the thinness of his blouse and scrape against his skin and everything altogether makes him shiver until Eddie pushes back up against him, hot and present and where he belongs, presses a thigh just so against him and slots their mouths together again, licking a little dirty against his lips so now their mouths are open and he can taste him, taste the cigarettes he only smokes when he drinks now and the shitty beer and further down the toothpaste that they share.

He feels a bruise forming against his hip where some stupid something or other juts out from the wall, but it's like everything is fireworks behind his eyes anyway as Eddie tugs his fingers into his hair.

'You have no fucking idea…' Eddie is muttering practically into his mouth, then he’s shaking his head a little and kissing at Steve’s jaw in the process, and it all feels so much and it makes Steve make a filthy fucking noise that feels like it's coming from his actual soul but he doesn't have time to feel embarrassed because Eddie chases it with what sounds like a goddamned growl and then he's kissing him again.

'We should… do you wanna go home?' Eddie pulls away to look at him again, mostly eager eyes in the dark but they’re kind of burning in a way that they talk about in songs and stories except this is real life.

At Steve's nod, he presses a 'yeah?' and a 'fuck.' into his throat where his shirt opens.

Eddie presses his forehead against his shoulder for a minute, panting, and Steve lets his arms come up and circle around him, pets softly through his hair. It feels like they're both shaking, but maybe it's just Steve. It could be it's from the cold, but it feels like it's a lot more than that.

Home isn't too far, but they take their time, hand in hand, and when Eddie pauses them to pull Steve into a dark corner or against a tree, it feels like just right and way too much and not enough all at the same time and it's positively dizzying but Steve would never dream of stopping, wants to keep going forever, wishes the walk home was miles long and hours of this. Laughing into each other's mouths, stumbling together where they don't want to be too far apart, accidentally catching each other's eye and blushing.

The front door sticks a little, just like always, and when they get through it Steve presses Eddie against the wood of it and licks into his mouth, thinks 'actually this is perfect and not only am I good at this I would like to do this forever without stopping' and he just feels and basks in it all. When he pulls back to look at Eddie with his bright eyes and blown pupils, with his swollen and shining lips (he did that, that was because they were kissing and his looked the same, probably, god) he thinks he might cry.

He's a little distracted though by Eddie, who shoves him away just so he can press him against the opposite wall again, one hand at his jaw and one hand at the skin of his hip, and Steve makes another terrible debauched noise because he's only human, and Eddie says 'you're so fucking responsive …' with what feels like a huge and delighted smile and something like awe as he's sliding Steve's vest off and kissing down his throat. He thought, before, that Eddie was feminine, but he’s not , he’s kissing Steve like no girl ever has and he’s tugging just a little at his hair and he feels a rough and intense and it’s fucking incredible.

Steve’s brain keeps shorting out. It's not the alcohol, it's that Eddie has lost his own jacket and is pressed up against him so close it's like they'll phase together, skin burning against skin in some small places he's so grateful for, but he wants more and it's like all of his disparate parts are catching up with themselves and his brain is getting back on track because he says 'fuck' very decisively and before he even realizes he's doing it he's shoving Eddie away so he can grab his hand again and pull him into his own bedroom. He lets go only to toss off his shirt and pants and grab at the hem of Eddie's shirt to get him to do the same. He grabs his hands again and pulls him into bed and under the covers and wraps their limbs together to keep kissing.

'Stevie…' Eddie is rumbling as Steve presses kisses into the scars across his chest, and he feels it more than he hears it and hums into a tattoo on his shoulder in response. 'Stevie, babe, c'mere,' Eddie gets his hands against Steve's shoulders and pushes, lifts him up above him, and Steve gets to look down into Eddie's eyes from his position and it's like flames fully engulf him. It’s very distracting.

'Steve, we gotta. We need to chill, I think, take a breather.' He pats lightly at his shoulder, chuckles lowly at Steve’s very dignified whine.

Eddie doesn't sound sure of himself, at all, he sounds a little scared actually, and it makes Steve pull back the rest of the way, breathe 'are you okay?', press a thumb against Eddie's cheek where it's blushed red and superwarm.

Eddie nods and gulps some air, swallows, says 'Yeah, babe, we just. We should get some sleep?' His hands are rubbing calm little circles into Steve's arms, his back, and Steve nods back at him, falls back down so his chin digs lightly into Eddie's sternum.

They blink at each other, and Steve lets his breath regulate and match Eddie's as he calms, as they lay there together. 'Stay, though?' Steve whispers, and Eddie presses a kiss into his forehead.

'Of course , Stevie.'

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