#they are still just sketches though and not nearly as progressed as my post from the other day lol

[moonstruckhaze]

hnnnggggg... hands....

[iamamythologicalcreature]

2024 Round-Up and Review

2024, aka The Year I Discovered I Love Drawing Baz With Long Hair.

But also.

Honestly?

(Yeah, I'm going to be honest. Yeah, it's going to be a long post. Buuuut it's my blog, so here we go!)

This past year was rough. Really rough. In many ways as difficult as 2020, and in some ways, even harder than that. I lost my specialized medical care after 2023, and my health tanked in 2024. Medication changes, chronic illness/pain, and the hardest thing of all was... this idea I seemed to have that if I could just fake it enough, I could make it. Like I could deny my disability into non-existence. Pretend it away.

Instead, I ended up pushing myself past the breaking point, with the worst possible timing ever.

And THEN (when I desperately needed to stop and rest), I packed up my life and moved across a continent. (I hadn't moved since college. So I thought I'd move and it'd be done. That was wrong. Ahem. I'm still moving in...)

But the GOOD that happened last year came in the form of friendship. That's not just a line. My friends were my lifeline. To those friends who stuck it out with me even when things were far from easy, thank you. You are the most incredible people I know, and your friendship has given me reasons and opportunities to feel joy and hope where I might not otherwise have done.

Okay. So. The ROUND-UP is... *drum roll*... Under the cut!

At first I was a bit bummed to see I'd only finished 9 pieces of art during the entire year. But since I am being honest... I know I did my best, and so clearly the best I could do last year was nine pieces of art. So many of those pieces were attached to amazing projects, though! I got to do several collaborations with some truly amazing human beings, and I also got to run my very first fest for the fandom! So I'm calling it good.

Now, finally, the art links:

(I won't be including works in progress on this list, as I still hope to finish them at some point XD)

January: Oh my God, January. I didn't finish anything in January, but I worked on a lot.

February:

Tis better to give than to receive - This was my contribution to Erotic Grope Fest, and it was my first time doing anything NSFW. It's pretty tame, all things considered, but I think it still fit the mission. Also ended up posting a high-res version of this on AO3. Because. I mean. Come on. XD

March:

Three lost boys (found) - I started out as a beta reader for @mooncello's inspired take on Neverland, but by the time I received chapter 2 I was very nearly begging to be able to illustrate it. I'd had this particular image in my mind after reading the matching scene in chapter one, but had tried to suppress the inspiration. Silly me. I'm so glad I gave in. This is a favorite of mine.

April:

Keeping Neverland - (Technically posted on Tumblr in May, but on AO3 in April, so...) Illustrating @mooncello's writing again, and this one was a challenge! But one I wholeheartedly embraced. I wanted to echo Baz's journey as an artist with my illustrations, so where I used pencil sketching for the chapter one illustration, I went for a finished charcoal drawing, here. Digital charcoal, it turns out, can be just as difficult as the real deal. Slightly less messy, though. (I'm very proud of this finished piece.) Also where I continued my exploration of Baz's long hair. XD

May:

A rough sketch for a rough night - It feels a little off to be posting this sketch in my art round-up, considering the emotional inspiration, but truth be told I ended up liking this sketch quite a lot. I also learned a couple things, from both the events of that night (not my finest moment) and the drawing of the sketch (hey putting my feelings into art is a good idea). So I think ultimately this little sketch deserves to be included on this list.

June:

Teenage Dream - I posted this on Tumblr in June, for my birthday, but I actually did the art at the beginning of the year for the Valentine's Day exchange on the Carry On server. I rarely finish anything to this degree, and am immensely proud of it. That said, I ended up using it for so many things last year, I'd be okay to not look at it again for awhile. (I called it "Teenage Dream" because it made me think of a daydream Baz might have had as a teenager - now made real with Simon by his side. Cause I'm a sucker for their romance >.> )

Illustration from The Eternal Life of Baz Pitch - So I'm not sure how I got lucky enough to earn a special preview of @monbons's story, but I knew I couldn't read it in pieces. So she let me read the whole thing. It was very cool. I read it all at once I think? And when I was done I crashed Monica's DMs to yell at her about it. But then I drew this picture. (While I was chatting with her, even, and casually asking her about cherry blossoms so I could draw them the way she imagined them. It was very fun.) Now we're friends. XD (Check out the fic - now posted in entirety!)

July: Uh. Migraines. Just migraines. I had to pull back from the fandom a lot, and stopped participating in a lot of online activities. Boo.

August: Sketched concepts for CORB, and packed.

September: I moved over 4000 miles.

October: Everything I worked on in October ended up debuting in...

November:

Carry On Through the Ages! Okay, as stressed and sick as I was, I have no regrets about taking on COTTA. It was AMAZING. So much wonderful content! It was SO GOOD to contribute to the fandom, and to do that with history geeking? Dream come true. I also dipped into my previous area of expertise (picture manipulation) and did some cursed paintings to promote it. Mona Baz, Stormchaser Gothic, Mademoiselle Wellbelove, and Iconic Icon Simon.

A Prophesied Rivalry - Another dream come true was collaborating with @monbons for COTTA! I loved talking ideas with her, and she was so supportive when I hit road blocks, too. I love Ancient Egyptian art, and this was as much a love letter to that ancient art style as it was to my beloved Snowbaz. (I did a ridiculous amount of research to do this piece.) (And now I have Egyptian Baz and Simon in my new apartment. Extreme Bonus.)

Snow on Ice Illustration - Getting paired with @leithillustration for CORB was like winning the creative collaboration lottery. Not only did they grasp my concept from the get-go, but they've taken it in a creative and exciting direction. Also, we've become good friends, which is the very best possible outcome for a collaboration. (You should check out their story if you haven't already!)

(Snow-kitty also got very sick at the end of November, which halted a lot of my progress on some WIPs. It was scary for a bit, but I am so happy to say he has fully recovered.)

December:

Snowflake Exchange presents More Than a Footnote - I kind of love that I started the year illustrating one of @mooncello's stories, and ended it with an illustration from another! I was so excited to pull Heath's name from the proverbial hat for the exchange. I'd wanted to draw something from More Than a Footnote since the first time Heath told me about it. I completely love Dev and Niall at this point, so I hope to play with them some more in the future! (BTW Heath I think you're one of my muses hope that's okay XD)

SO. Yeah, the year was often a hard one, but a lot of good happened in spite of all the bad. The good was even more valuable for daring to happen in the midst of so much blah. (And boy howdy, did I get a lot of material to learn from.)

In 2025, I think I'm going to focus more on accepting my limits. Like, I can still work on improving my health and functionality, but I really need to try and determine when I need to stop. That has its own learning curve, but I have to start somewhere! I'm also working on vision therapy, which I'm doing on my own since I can't afford the out-of-pocket expense. Still... So far, so good. Fingers crossed!

Creatively, I think 2025 will be the year where I get to work on projects I started in 2023 and 2024, and I find that quite exciting because those are ideas I genuinely loved. I also hope to bring some other ideas I've had for a very long time to life. (Finally.) I hope, hope, hope! And hey, if I get to do more collabs? That would be awesome, too. (Carry On Through the Ages will be returning, as well!)

Thank you to these lovely people for tagging me in on this round-up, and for remembering me despite my frequent absence!

@emeryhall, @rimeswithpurple, @prettygoododds, @artsyunderstudy, @noblecorgi, @alexalexinii, @best--dress, @j-nipper-95, @roomwithanopenfire, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @imagineacoolusername, @mooncello, @whatevertheweather, @thewholelemon, @youarenevertooold, @monbons

And to everyone who is still tagging me on wipsday posts, other things, commented, any of that! Thank you. It means a lot to me. Hello's and How-Do's and general well-wishes to:

@drowninginships, @aristocratic-otter, @that-disabled-princess, @leithillustration, @bookish-bogwitch, @theimpossibledemon, @fiend-for-culture, @bazzybelle, @ic3-que3n, @blackberrysummerblog, @run-for-chamo-miles, @shrekgogurt, @confused-bi-queer, @hushed-chorus, @cutestkilla, @skeedelvee, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @wellbelesbian, @facewithoutheart, @ileadacharmedlife,, @raenestee, @supercutedinosaurs, @fatalfangirl, @palimpsessed, @martsonmars, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @theearlgreymage

And anyone else who actually read my extremely long post. XD

[celis22]

Sketches of a silly AU that I came up with while drawing wally (a drawing that I haven't finished yet *cries*)

I call it *drum roll* stitches au! Based on wally's appearance and how I basically put together a bunch of random stuff xd

Basically in this au wally and his friends are saved(? (Como se escribe guardado en inglés?) after the show is cancelled, with the difference that home never let wally be taken so for a long time he was the only one conscious. Some time later the puppets and other things from the program are auctioned off (like coraline's things) and bought by a collector. Now, I didn't really know how the real world and the world where the puppets are alive would work so I think it's a bit like the lego movie (for better visualization) after they are bought they are placed somewhere (let's ignore the plot holes, thank you) and now the whole neighborhood is "awake" again.

Wally being locked up and isolated generated some unhealthy coping methods and his appearance and behavior are not what his neighbors remember. for them, they just went to sleep and the next morning their little friend had completely changed. His once quiet, reserved, and well-groomed friend was now nearly nonverbal, starved for touch, and perhaps a little unhinged.

Extra facts (I'm really bad at explaining things, sorry):

• one of wally's eyes is lower than the other, this is intentional and comes from wear and tear over the years (and from that video where the wally puppet accidentally pulls out one of his eyes)

• Wally's clothes refer to each one of the neighbors (you will see it better once I finish the drawings that I still have in progress)

• wally has modified himself several times (that's why his feet and hands resemble barnaby, apart from the tail) but since he's not the best at sewing his limbs tend to fall off, especially his hand since he tends to pull the seams when hi is nervous or anxious (and yes, this is a reference to frankie from monster high)

• wally could be considered an unreliable storyteller, a lot of silly or dangerous stuff he does is born out of the thought "i'm a puppet, i'm not real so nothing can kill me" but to his friends it would be something like "oh god our friend has a death wish "

That's all for now, i will drawing other things for the au though I don't promise it'll be soon, my life is a mess right now so I need some time, that doesn't mean I won't post anymore, I'm just going to take a while.

[meluiloth]

Findoron Art Dump

Here’s some artworks I’ve done of Findoron recently that I haven’t posted; they range from colored pieces to sketches that I like, so it’s basically just a collection of me doodling this oc!

First up is actually a whole reference sheet for him, which I made for Art Fight (I think I finally pinned down an official outfit for him, though I seem to draw him with a different outfit every time!) I'm really pleased with how it turned out - it's clear, cohesive, includes some facts about him, and also has a sort of rough parchment look to it as well which I like!

The rest are basically all over the place - there are some sketches for my work-in-progress Misfit animatic, a rough color piece I did late at night, a crayon drawing, and then a nearly fully-rendered art of him that I did a few months ago; it was supposed to be part of a full piece, but I gave up on it halfway through and later just decided to slap a flat background on and call it a day (I still like it though!)

[tyrantisterror]

Early Wizard School Mysteries Concept Art Pt. 2: 2020 & 2021

Wizard School Mysteries Book 3: Wicked Witchcraft has been available for purchase in paperback and kindle editions for about a week now, and to do my due diligence as this series' author, editor, and marketing executive, I've gotta make a post about it to annoy you all with so that maybe more people read it and build up a bigger audience for the next one.

So! To accomplish that in a way I find palatable, I've dug up some very old concept art for the series, and am going to parade it out for your enjoyment! Come, look upon my old art and despair be inspired to buy my books!

This is part 2 because tumblr wouldn't let me upload more than 30 pictures in a post btw.

Oh damn, there's our James! He's lost a lot of his Wizardmon flair in favor of patches and a bit more of a bookish look, and his hat is a manageable size in that it actually fits his head now. Even his hairstyle is close to what it would be.

Ivan's getting closer too, with the patchwork arms and furry shoulders on his vest to give him that "peasant wizard from the snowy North" vibe, and a shaggy mop of hair to go with it! His wand's a bit gnarlier looking, like it's a tree branch that was whittled down rather than a more refined dowel, which is a nice character touch.

Gretchen's gotten plumper and, after some experimentation, has curly locks, so yay she's finally definitely not white! She's gaining her more witchy look, too, along with the shadowrot that became so important to her character in the series as it currently exists.

Margot's design is still experimenting, but she's beginning to get more recognizable with each one. The skull helm is introduced, and with it comes a move to a more goth-punk look, with a skull-shaped pauldron and spikes on her gauntlet. And she's getting more muscular, which is good for a The Muscle archetype she represents. Oh, and she gets an aquiline nose! That's not important for archetype reasons, I just think it's me living my truth. Needs to be bigger, though.

huh... somehow less recognizable as Rodrigo than the previous sketches. I kinda like the rockstar vibe it has, though, even if it doesn't quite fit Rodrigo.

Serena's finally got her magical girl swag! I mean, not quite enough, she's still weighted down a bit too much and doesn't have nearly enough ribbons, but she's getting there! Progress is progress!

Charlotte's limbs are more proportionate now, they feel like they actually belong on her frame. Still not quite right, but much better.

We don't have a Polybeus for this year, but we do have some other fun sketches!

We've got an early Fafgander design, as well as six of our youths in their school uniforms! Margot's supernatural height is cemented here, and uniform!Charlotte is looking even more like herself.

Onto 2021!

All of our youths are finally sporting their canon designs, though slight tweaks would be made here and there to facial features and the like.

[jasperygrace]

August Mid Month Report 2023

Hello hello, everyone!

It's that time of the month, and I've got something exciting to share with y'all!

As always, if you're interested in my work, considering checking out my story's Masterlist or my Artstation for more of my work. This month's graphic is done by the lovely @corethomas, so show them your love as well!

So without further ado, let's begin!

Project Progress

After nearly a year's work, Draft 2 of An Immortal Laid to Rest is finally complete.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I'm just! We're here! We did it! Holy shit!

Now the next step is editing and finishing the sketches of the book illustrations. I've decided I'm going to take a couple of months to do these items so I can give them the proper time they deserve. That and also I don't have as much time as I used to.

Regardless, I'm super stoked I've made it to this point. There's still a lot to do, but we're getting ever closer to a finished story!

Goals

Here were my goals from July:

Write 3 chapters by August 15th [done]

Finish Draft 3 by end of August [done; though i meant draft 2]

Begin catching up on storyboards [in progress]

Start new short-term project [on hold until post-editing]

August Goals:

Begin editing Draft 2; be finished by December

Work on in-book illustrations (work on chpt illustration after edited chapter); be finished by December

That's all I've got this month! Thanks for reading and I hope you'll support me in my future endeavors!

An Immortal Laid to Rest Taglist: @corethomas @liv-is @flock-from-the-void @mysticstarlightduck @outpost51 @thecrookedwriterspath @justahumanmachine

[midqualitymochi]

in my multiple failed attempts at writing ive noticed that a particular flaw ive always had that ive never been able to fix is my lack of ability to have mystery; or rather, my lack of ability to distribute information in an interesting way.

almost always, whenever there's a thought, or a concept, or whatever, every singular detail that i can come up with about it must be described at that exact moment, and there's no room for a description to linger, or leave dark spots, or to even exist outside of that sphere of description. its always overexplain or completely gloss over.

though my thoughts came out structured better than i anticipated, theres still probably points where ive overexplained a point, or made sure to try to squash every caveat and corner of the point im trying to make.

and in a rambly thoughtvomit post like this, its probably fine, but its absolutely awful for narrative, and ive always wondered how i fix something like that.

i think probably a big point would be to start at actually planning whatever i write. i almost never do that and instead just type out complete garbage into a google doc at 2 am on a particularly unproductive tuesday, and the result is always dreadful. maybe its that i go in with a scene in mind, and instead of starting with a general idea or vibe of the scene and then work from there, i just try to get it right with the first attempt and fuck up and fall flat on my face and give up for the next 3-5 months.

though i think the bigger problem lies with the fact that the various stages of a story arent nearly as visually distinct from one another as, say, art.

with art, generally it can be broken down as: sketch, line art, flat color, shading, lighting, and rendering; and however many iterations of each stage one may go through. and more importantly, when you line up each stage next to one another, theyre visually distinct, but you can see what additions or logical choices were made to go from one stage to another.

with writing - and excuse my unexperienced assumption of how the writing process is - its: collecting the ideas, structuring the ideas, rough draft, final draft, editting.

the stages of collecting and structuring ideas can take many different forms: a bunch of bulletin points or maybe a fuck ton of notes haphazardly thrown about a board, and maybe a nicely illustrated and concise story bible that neatly packages the main aspects of a story.

unfortunately, all of this generally leads to the exact same "look": a book, a bunch of words, etc. there is very little to no *visual* progression, unlike art, which is to be expected. one cannot immediately see how an author goes from a google drive filled to the brim with images and notes and thoughts to a collection of leatherbound pages (or a 25 page long fanfic, etc etc). most of the time the structure between the stages is only barely kept, probably depending on the author (that is to say, a messy or loose planning stage wont necessarily lead to a messy and loose writing style).

though more than likely, the best conclusion i can get from all of this is that maybe im just impatient. i simply havent read and written enough to be able to see the "sketch" of a narrative and see how the vague forms of "lines" have lead into the "line art".

and just like a novice artist, i see no real distinction between my "sketch" and "render", because i attempt to do the coloring before ive placed the lines.

[cheer-soli-art]

It was a good year for art

Commentary for each artwork under the cut :D

February - biblically accurate bam - This was back when the jokes of ‘biblically accurate (insert noun here)’ had really hit mainstream, or maybe I just finally got inspiration to do something about this topic. Since Bam is the night, I added the usual night symbols of moons and stars. The waves at the bottom represent how the tides change with the cycle of the moon, and it ties in well with the idea of Bam being a ‘new wave’ in the Tower.

February - biblically accurate bam - This was back when the jokes of ‘biblically accurate (insert noun here)’ had really hit mainstream, or maybe I just finally got inspiration to do something about this topic. Since Bam is the night, I added the usual night symbols of moons and stars. The waves at the bottom represent how the tides change with the cycle of the moon, and it ties in well with the idea of Bam being a ‘new wave’ in the Tower.

March - double city - An artwork that I haven’t released anywhere on the internet until today, as it was part of a school exhibition. The idea behind it was taking the place I grew up in and the city I lived in at the time and merging them into one location, representing how I am influenced by both cultures.

April - Marpril Colors Series - 17 Azure - This was a series of sketches I did over March and April, as a countdown for my return from Tower’s Tale (TT) hiatus. During these months, I was busy with school stuff and working on TT, so I didn’t have much time or desire to make other artworks.

May - Part 1_Page 201 - I started working on this TT page in December of the previous year, as the scene this page is a part of was important for me (oh, and the plot too). I was still practicing a new style, and though I don’t like it as much now, I still think it was worth the experimentation.

June - yanfei.jpg - This one was part of a Six Fanart Challenge that I never finished. Whoops. Anyways, I drew her because she’s the character that I’ve played with the most. I’m really proud of how I was able to capture most of the details, especially that staff, haha.

July - KBWday5.PNG - Ah, yes. The KhunBam month, where I spend 3 weeks thinking about what to post only for me to procrastinate on it until KhunBam Week arrives. I like this artwork because it’s where I finally started using references (lol), as well as understanding more organic backgrounds.

August - glitterandgold_01 - One of the two artworks I made for a WIP Big Bang. This is also the first artwork of the entire year that I finished on my laptop instead of my phone, as I had lost my stylus and only bought a new one around this time. I like that I was able to carry the dramatic mood from the sketch to the final version.

September - Part 1_Page 237 - There wasn’t a lot of artwork activity this month, apart from TT, so here is another page I’m really proud of. I wanted to communicate the overwhelming difference in power between the characters, so the pages before have a lot of open paneling and negative space that progressively build up to this one, which covers nearly the entire background in green. The frame around Goseng and Bam is actually the same proportions as the usual page border, but shrunken, to make it look like the fire was spreading beyond the edges of the page, to really emphasize the probable helplessness Bam is feeling in the situation… Sometimes, a lot of thought goes into these pages.

October - kitsune khun - This is a drawing I made for a raffle winner on Twitter. I included it here because this and the other artworks I made that week felt like they ‘clicked’. They were the ones that all the process from previous artworks were leading up to - finally I had an artwork that I was very satisfied with, where the process was fun and the final result was pretty to look at too. I’m a huge fan of using complementary colors, especially orange lighting and blue shadows..

November - Snow Study (gasp) - I don’t do studies as often as I should, so this one came as a surprise. I save a lot of images from Bing’s daily wallpaper, and since the cold weather was coming, I painted this chilly town with one as a reference. I also wanted to update my blog so it matched my current style, so this was drawn for that reason too.

December - ‘Polaroid’ mini series - “with hyung.png” - This is one of four artworks I made in a ‘polaroid photo’ style. I really like that aesthetic. There is something very nostalgic and deep about it - capturing a moment you deem important. Taking the context of polaroids and film into account, you don’t have the luxury to take various copies of a moment and pick the right one afterwards like we do nowadays, so ideally you’d want everything to be perfectly in place and extremely important before you press the shutter. And yet, in these ‘photos’, the moments captured are not of grandiose events or life-changing moments, but of casual, daily life. I wanted to appreciate the ordinary in this small series. Maybe I’ll revisit it next year.

Bonus round

There were a few artworks that didn’t make the cut, but I still wanted to talk about them. So here they are.

“A summoning ritual (that worked a little too well)” - This is where I started the habit of drawing genshin characters when I wanted them on my team. Though this one is a little rough around the edges, I still like the colors and texture of the artwork.

“met gala hwar” - I was watching a video talking about how the Gilded Gala was a disaster (unsurprisingly), and one of the looks that went by (as examples of what worked) caught my eye. So I drew Hwaryun in it.

“Part 1_Page 216.PNG” - I have a very consistent system for numbering pages - just thought you might wanna know. I didn’t count this one in the final cut because some of the panels here were from pages drawn last year, so I felt that I was cheating a bit. There is a lot of thought behind this particular panel, but I will discuss that one when I release the full cleaned-up version sometime in the next few months.

“a precious jewel” - This artwork means a lot to me. Though it was rather quick (done under an hour, curse my comic panel habits), a lot of ‘feeling’ went into it. I think that out of all of the artworks, this is the one where I’m pouring what I’m actually feeling at the moment - I can’t quite put it into words here (as it is a little awkward, and I’m afraid of things getting lost in translation too), but I’ll try. I think that for that hour, I understood where Khun was getting at with the jewel metaphor, but rather than wanting to hide someone away, it was more of wanting to keep those feelings close to my heart… that kind of thing.

“Bleak December_07” - My entry for Secret Santa this year. Just thought I’d include it. I signed up to an email address sending Edgar Allen Poe’s works, and was floored by The Raven, so the title and tone of this short comic reflect that too.

“fall for you, fall for me” - i like khunbam. and i like autumn, now. i like coloring khun’s hair, ‘cuz its color can look so different under different lightings. it’s a simple and easygoing artwork. i like simple and easygoing things sometimes too.

[princip1914]

A few thoughts on writing longfic

I’ve had this post brewing for a while and I figured since today is a Friday I might as well let it out into the wild. 

First off, this is not writing advice. I don’t feel qualified to give writing advice. This is a few observations I’ve made over the course of trying to write something that feels, well, long. Fandom is full of excellent authors writing long chaptered fic, but I don’t see a lot of people talking about how they go about producing such fics. I remember feeling like long fic was really out of reach for me when I started writing again in the summer of 2019 after not writing for years and years and I wanted to talk a bit about how that changed for me. Of course, this post comes with all the caveats that there is no need to ever write long fic if you’re not feeling it. Some of my favorite authors write mostly or only oneshots! But, if you are interested, here’s my lengthy, self indulgent, and entirely personal take on ~the longfic process~ below the cut. 

First, to get this out of the way: long fic is anything that feels long or complicated to you, the author. “I’m working on my long fic” can mean that you’re branching out from microfiction to write something that’s 2k long, or it can mean you’ve got a multi-part 800k epic. There’s no objective measure of if something is “long fic,” Your own personal definitions can also change as you grow in confidence or change your focus as a writer (a little over a year ago when I finished Doubt Thou the Stars are Fire topping out at 31k, that felt very very long to me. Now it feels….still long, but not very very long.) 

Here are a few specific things that helped me write something long. I don’t know if they will be interesting for anyone else, but at the very least writing these down has been a fun way for me to reflect on my own process. 

Practice exercises. Ok, this is going to sound exceedingly obvious, but writing one shots prepares you for writing chaptered fic. Here’s what I mean more specifically: if you know you want to write (as a totally hypothetical example) a chaptered fic set in America in the summer that relies heavily on a nature metaphors, is written out of chronological order, and features a melancholy tone--it helps to write a few one shots like that before you embark on the Big Fic. Just like artists tend to do sketches before starting a big piece, it’s very helpful to write something small that gives you a feel for the ~vibe~ of what you’re trying to do in the long fic. It’s helpful for all the usual reasons--you get to know a specific version of the characters which helps plan out a character driven plot for the long fic--but it’s also helpful because you will learn if the tone and mood of the fic has enough staying power to capture your interest for the long haul. For instance, I have a few unfinished chaptered fics that have a humorous tone. I wish I had done more short humorous fics before starting them, because I would have realized that I don’t currently have the mental stamina to hold up a humorous tone for the length of a chaptered fic (hopefully that will change and I will finish Last Days some time this century!). 

Plan it out ahead of time. I used google sheets for The False and the Fair. I do not think God intended google sheets to be used for fiction, but that was not going to stop me. On a more serious note, I think the best tool for planning fiction is the one you’re the most comfortable with--the notes app in your phone, handwriting, word, google drive, sheets, chalk board, summoning circle, the blood of your enemies, etc. The reason I chose to use sheets is that I knew from the very beginning that I wanted certain things to happen at specific places in the story--for instance, I wanted the first kiss to happen at the end of the first third of the story and I wanted the “reveal” about the mine accident to happen at the end of the second third of the story. But, I didn’t know what was supposed to go in between those elements. A traditional outline for a story at this point in development might have looked like: 

Meet cute

Kiss

Reveal 

Ending 

But, what my brain needed was to preserve the blank spaces in between these story elements, and specifically to preserve the right amount of blank space between these story elements so that it didn’t end up, for instance, that the first kiss was halfway through rather than a third of the way through. In this way, I found google sheets an invaluable tool for pacing in the early parts of the planning process. I simply made 30 rows assuming 30 chapters, and started plugging in the elements I knew I wanted in the locations I wanted them. Then I filled in the blank spaces by asking myself “how do we get from X plot element to Y plot element in Z amount of chapters.” I’m not a mountain climber, but I’ve often thought about the first things that go into the spreadsheet in terms of mountain climbing terminology.  In climbing, a crux move, which can be anywhere along the route, is the most difficult move of the route: if you can’t do it, you can’t do the route. I think of the first things that go into the planning spreadsheet as the crux moves of the story, the most important pieces around which everything else turns. It was not an accident that those were also all the first scenes of the fic that I wrote; if I couldn’t do those scenes, I couldn’t do the story the way I planned it so I wanted to know early on if I needed to make changes.

Make changes if you have to: even though it helps to have things planned in advance, don’t resist the story if it tries to change on you while you’re writing it. Usually the feeling that you have to make changes stems from having a plot that is not entirely character driven. As you write the story, the characters reveal themselves and sometimes the plot has to change to change with the characters’ motivations. Here’s an area where fanfic writers have a leg up on everyone else: if you write fic, you already know the characters really well. That means, (in my experience anyway) it’s less likely that you’ll have a surprise character development which leads to a rethinking of the whole plot. Less likely, but not completely unlikely, unfortunately.

Lie to yourself: The False and the Fair was supposed to be 90k words. I thought that sounded reasonable, a little less than 3x the longest fic I had ever written. Now it's 161k and will probably top out a little over 170k. Ooops. But I never would have set out to write something that long. I wouldn’t have thought I could do it, even though anyone more experienced looking at my plans for the fic probably would have laughed at the idea I could cover all those plot points in 90k. Ignorance is bliss. Protect your ignorance.

Scrivener: Long fic for me means “fic that is long enough you can’t hold all the parts of it in your head at once.” That’s where Scrivener comes in (or another app if you’d rather, but I really like Scrivener for the ability to see the project either linearly or as condensed notecards). You can put together an organizational scaffold in Scrivener that allows you to move back and forth between the forest and the trees. So, for instance, you might be going for a jog and come up with the perfect line of dialogue for chapter 27 when you’re only up to chapter 5 in terms of writing progress. With Scrivener, you can go home, and put that dialogue in the “bucket”/index card/whatever for chapter 27 without compromising your ability to see chapter 5 clearly or muddying up your google doc. You can then use the fact that you’ve started writing bits and pieces of the later chapters in conjunction with the tool of lying to yourself that, actually, you’ve written a lot more of the fic than you realize and that when you get to chapter 27 it won’t be as hard as chapter 5 because you’ve put in the groundwork already. In my experience, this lie turns out to be true about 50% of the time, which is better than 0% of the time.

Digestible mini arcs: The False and the Fair was originally broken up into thirds. I thought it would be 90k and 30k was the longest I had written, so thirds seemed to make sense. Also, 3 is a nice, time honored storytelling number. I think it’s good to give yourself seemingly achievable milestones along the way to completion. These milestones (for me anyway) lined up well with the “crux moments” I’ve described. If you’re someone who likes to write out of order, writing your way to an already written milestone can feel like sailing to an island where you get to rest for a bit from the stormy seas before setting out for the next island in the archipelago.

“It's all part of the process”: I’m categorically incapable of describing things without resorting to running metaphors, and so I apologize in advance, but I am now going to do the insufferable thing of comparing writing a long fic to running a marathon. Here’s the thing with a marathon. You are not going to feel good every step of the way. We all know this. It’s a marathon, it’s supposed to hurt a little bit, especially at the end. In the same way you literally cannot write something novel length or even novella or long short story length without, at least at some point, feeling bad about yourself and your writing. But you also can’t run a marathon if the whole thing is agony, and for most people, it’s not--your meat sack shuffling along the course is subjected to the slings and arrows of all sorts of weird body chemistry that only happens when you push it to its limits. So, you’ll be in agony and then the endorphins will kick in for a while and you’ll be thinking “this isn’t nearly as bad as everyone said,” and then you’ll drink some water at a rest stop and feel like a God for half a mile before you crash and you’re in agony again until that one perfect song comes up on the playlist...and you get the idea. Writing something long, for me at least, is a bit like that. There are massive ups and downs. The key for me is to just understand it’s all part of the process, a necessary step on the way to the finish line. If the fic is 10 chapters long, at some point you have to write chapter 5. Just like you have to write chapter 5, at some point you also have to go through a bit of despair before reaching the end. It is unfortunately non-optional. In fact, despairing is something you can check off your list each time you’ve done it. Cut dialogue tags, check. Feel awful about my writing for thirty minutes, check. Write ending section, check. Often I feel that the stress and shame and fear that come with bad emotions while writing are worse than the bad emotions themselves. It really helps me to remember these emotions are all part of the process and nothing to worry about. If I didn’t have them, then I would worry! 

I certainly have plenty more to say about writing, but this ramble has gone on long enough. If you’re interested in any of this stuff, please feel free to send me an ask. 

I would also love to know more about everyone else’s writing processes, so feel free to pop into my ask box to talk about your own approach too! I am very interested in this stuff! 

[cromwellharvests]

@sunlilted​ asked possibly my favorite question of all time:

what is the most difficult part of Easy's alchemy? was it the research, the trials / testing, the process of learning at all?

Dropped low in the middle of a valley between mountains, Wiradu is a little town, blessed with a great many things— good soil, mostly mild weather, a stream which plays host to schools of migrating fish... but it also, predictably, lacks a lot of other things typical to larger settlements. 

When Easy happened across the scribblings, notes, and handful of books that her great-grandfather left behind, she had very little idea as to how to begin parsing them out, and fortunate though her little town was to have a library, they certainly didn’t have any additional texts on alchemy, and there was no-one in town with relevant expertise to offer, either. Any initial learning she did was entirely self-driven and self-motivated, which lead to a lot of frustration. Trial and error after error after error. 

But despite the lack of guidance and seemingly insurmountable hurdles at the start, she kept beating her head against it, determined to not only understand the concepts, but make them useful for her community. From all the stories, Zachariah was a very charitable man, and bright, too— he wouldn’t have put all the work he did into this craft and these theories for nothing. So she begged to go along on trips into East City and New Optain, determined to find any books or scraps of paper she could that might help bridge her gap in understanding.

Really, it feels like she skipped a few steps. That’s what made the research so difficult— jumping headfirst into alchemical texts with no beginner-friendly introductions is like picking up a book in a completely different language, relying on borrowed words and a few familiar concepts to carry her through. She spent countless hours reading, sketching, testing, and reconfiguring to try and make sense of it all. But, of course, it was all worth it for those moments when a one-in-one-hundred attempt turned out as she expected, and every little inch of progress was made.

Once she had a grip on the basics, things definitely grew easier. She’s fairly bright, and a natural problem solver, so the process of stringing together the new repertoire of tools once she understood them wasn’t nearly as difficult as getting a handle in the first place. Still, there was a lot of additional studying to do to make the impact she hoped to. Alchemy is only a fraction of the equation, lumped in with biochemistry, agricultural, and environmental science. 

The trials and testing really aren’t that difficult— tedious, at times, maybe, but she’s very passionate about the work, so it doesn’t feel draining— the difficulty today (and what will most likely remain), is in the research, because there’s just so much��which goes into consideration for the methods and practice she’s trying to develop. Stacks upon stacks of research documents, soil surveys, regional agricultural reports, and various relevant science texts end up on her desks at work and home at any given time, with no end in sight. But, such is the nature of the pursuit of knowledge: a true student is a student, eternal.

post-script:

one of the more difficult qualities of implementing her signature alchemy, as it’s known, is control. controlling the intensity, the depth, and the extent of deconstruction and displacement. similar to how roy manipulates the size and strength of his flames with focus and intention, it takes a great deal of restraint and practice to do what she does without disastrous repercussions. 

(of course, that sheer destructive quality was part of her marketing scheme to appeal to the military’s sensibilities in the first place, but... y’know. she’s not actually Like That).

[cowboypossume]

At This Moment

so! this is inspired by this post by @theunmappedstar which means we need some credit baby !! so Bon Appetit

Summary: Fitz is a model, Keefe is his makeup artist, and after a big fight Keefe still has do his makeup because it’s too late to reschedule. 

Pairing: “platonic” keefitz 

Trigger Warnings: cursing, and let me know if there’s anything else

AO3 Link: here <3

Fitz had been a world famous model for years now. He could have gotten anybody to do his makeup, but he always insisted that Keefe did it. Keefe knew his work was good, sure, but he never understood why the world famous Fitz Vacker insisted that he did the the makeup for all of his shoots. Of course, Keefe would never turn down the chance to get Very Close to the model’s face and notice all of the little details on it. Like the splash of green hidden in the deep blue in his eyes, the tiny freckles right below his checks, the scar hidden on the boy’s hairline from acne, and Keefe’s favorite, the tiny smile that would appear when Fitz looked in the mirror when he finished the makeup look. Obviously he knew these things because it was his job to.

At this moment however, Keefe wished nothing more than the Fitz to not have assigned him to this shoot. He wished he didn’t have to stand in front of the door that he’d just closed and face the model he’d gotten into a huge fight with. Both of them were angry and said things they didn’t mean, which only fueled that anger. He wished that he didn’t have those few minutes alone to regret everything that he said. And now, his pride didn’t want to be alone with the model and apologize, although so much of him wanted to. He wished that he could just leave, but they couldn’t reschedule this shoot. They’d been planning this one for far too long and there were far too many other people involved. Besides, they’re both legally adults, so they can put aside their personal problems for a bit and just work, right?

“What the hell are you doing here?” Fitz angrily snapped.

Keefe gestured to the bag in his hands. “I have to do your makeup, remember?”

“Is there anyone else who can do it?”

“Look I don’t want to be here either but everyone who can is on set working and it’s too last minute for us to call in someone new. Besides, they already paid me.”

“Fine just do it quick.”

Keefe walked over to the dressing room mirror and started setting up. He’d done this before, a million times before, but at this moment it felt wrong. This didn’t feel like the warm environment the two of them normally created. They didn’t create the summer day kind of warm, though. The two of them seemed to share the kind of warm that resembles a hug from the person that you’ve hugged countless times before but gets better every time you’re together. Their warm environment felt comforting to the other with the stressful environment of a set. At this moment, there was no warmth or comfort. There was only the silence that filled the air between them with anticipation.

“Well, you know the drill.” Keefe said pulling out the final set of brushes. As Fitz sat in the chair, Keefe was reminded why he absolutely despised the model in front of him: he was the definition of the media’s version of perfect. He didn’t have bags, or acne, or anything that wasn’t good enough to go on a magazine cover. It made Keefe’s his job a hell of a lot easier, but it made Keefe despise him. How did someone manage look like royalty without any help? If Keefe was honest, the boy in front of him didn’t need anything to make him look like a movie star, but Fitz always wanted to cover up the freckles, so Keefe followed the request with concealer. Also, he needed to add some designs to fit the theme of this photoshoot, floral.

Wanting to avoid Fitz’s eye for as long as possible, Keefe started to sketch the outline carnations and gladioluses across his cheeks. As he gently held the model’s chin and cheek underneath his fingers, the stiffness of Fitz’s body reminded him of their first set. When they first met, it was one of Keefe’s first sets. He tried to break the silence with a joke, which lead to conversation. By the time Keefe finished the makeup, the two boys separated, finding themselves oddly excited for the next time they’d see each other. This moment, however, felt more irksome than that first meeting. Now the two of them were, well the two of them had grown up with each other. That first set they were both so young, and as they grew into themselves, the other person was there. They felt like they had a relationship, whether it was best friends, friends, or good colleagues, they trusted each other. They felt like they knew each other inside and out. Keefe got to see the man under the model, and Fitz got to see the makeup artist without the cover up.

Fitz slightly moved his head which lead to Keefe focusing on where the flowers sat on his face. Fitz had worked as a model long enough to move without messing up the makeup despite it still being a work in progress, and it still amazed Keefe every time. Keefe grabbed the paint that wouldn’t cause Fitz’s stupidly perfect face to break out and started to fill the carnations with a coffee cream white and the gladioluses with a shades of red and orange that would make a romantic movie’s sunset look dull in comparison.

Normally Keefe and Fitz would talk about nothing and everything during this time, but they weren’t. At this moment, Keefe was left alone with his thoughts which were just screaming ‘This Was Wrong’, and they weren’t lying. This wasn’t their normal, but Keefe didn’t know how to fix it. Could he? He wanted to. He wanted to fix the relationship with the only friend he had, but words typically failed him. He wasn’t good at words. He was charming with them, but he couldn’t say what he needed to. He couldn’t make his words serious, so relationships would normally fizzle out because of that.

Keefe’s negative thought spiral went to a screeching haunt when the nearly finished gladiolus in his hand was had a streak of a tear on it. A tear from crying? Wait it was a tear from crying. Why was Fitz crying?

“Wait, why the fuck are you crying?” The fear in Keefe’s voice made that question way more concerned than the angry tone he intended.

“This feels wrong.”

Keefe handed him a tissue. “Push this under your eyes and make the tears stop while we talk through this. Bloodshot eyes will ruin the photoshoot and you better not ruin the makeup. What feels wrong?”

“This” Fitz gestured between the two of them. “Us. Being mad with you feels wrong. Because I’m not mad at you. Or maybe I am? I just-. Right now my life is completely changing and not talking you just,,, feels wrong. Not just because it feels different, it,” Fitz paused to find a way to describe the way he felt. “Do you not feel it?”

Keefe walked over and kneeled next to Fitz and looked directly into the eyes that still looked amazing despite the fact they were full of tears but not yet covered with a layer of pink. He gently took the hand that Fitz wasn’t pressing away the tears with. “Of course I feel it, but now’s really not the time Fitzy. Come find me after the shoot, ok? I need to finish the flowers and start on the eyeliner and we only have 20 minutes until the other people need you.”

Fitz looked at himself in the mirror and the stupid tiny smile -that Keefe knew would ruin the lipstick Fitz would be wearing if this shoot needed it- appeared a little wider this time. 

“These are my favorite flowers.” He said, clearly wanting to touch all of them. There was a small gleam in his eyes that only showed up when he felt extremely happy. Keefe was the world famous Fitz Vacker’s makeup artist, it was his job to know the model’s face. They were friends, and Keefe didn’t need to ruin another friendship with something stupid.

So, Keefe grabbed a paintbrush as he said “I told you before Fitz, I have a really good memory, and I wouldn’t forget something about a friend.” He restarted the flowers and didn’t catch the disappointment in the model’s eyes at the lack of a nickname and the word ‘friend’.

[everythingstarstuff]

Chris Rock - “How not to get your ass kicked by the police!”                  (sketch from The Chris Rock Show -1997-2000)

Over 20 years ago, kids! Chris wasn’t surprised by the rise of Trump. Chris isn’t surprised by all of the videos of unarmed black men being killed by the police. Chris was woke long before the term even existed. The only thing that’s changed in 20 plus years when it comes to this, you used to be able to joke about it, now the reality is so blatant and horrific there is seemingly no appropriate levity to be had anymore.

 I’m on the edge of Generation X so during my lifetime and even still 43 years into my stay here on our planet Earth humor and comedy are drastically changing. It feels like my core sense of humor is morbid and dark and sick even though I am a total freakin’ hippy type pacifist and a total teddy bear. I wonder if that’s because this newest generation focuses on the screwed-up truth behind our old racist, homophobic, sexist jokes -not the absurdity or satire in them that we older folks did. They see it’s beyond laughable now, these dark subjects, that it is inappropriate to laugh at even for the sake of absurdity because of the stark and profound real-world injustices that continue to this day without much progress in a foundational systematic way.

 In the 1980′s when I was growing up there was this strange combination of optimism and cynicism that was pervasive in America. Optimism that the future was bright and exciting, capitalism was all the buzz, materialism was celebrated. But a cynicism at the same time was baked into the culture. Probable that this was about the 80′s love hangover from the squashing of the American cultural revolution of the 60′s that made the 70′s a decade of CIA conspiracies and assassinations not to mention the ugliest popular color schemes known to mankind. So I grew up in a post-nearly-pseudo-utopia pre-dystopia time, where humor was allowed to be, and understandably was, rather fierce and in some ways confused and searching. Yet even then, similar controversies were made about what is “over the line” and what’s to be considered objectively offensive. Intentions may be less impactful than actions but when it comes to something complicated and layered like comedy, it’s really important to consider the intent of the joke not just how it makes us feel or how uncomfortable it sounds. 

Chris is one of my favorite stand-up comedians because he- does. not. give. a. flying. fuck. about haters. It doesn’t surprise me he was creating sketches like this over two decades ago, the dude is legit, always has been. I’d have to say though that Sarah Silverman is my favorite comedian of all time. She is wretched and I love it. Sugar and spice and some shock and awe as well. Much like me? Maybe I like her so much because the absurdity of this life is best appreciated when embraced and sometimes our inability to comprehend the cruelty of life can be coped with best when the outrageousness of it all is laughed at. Sarah to me in that sense is like if Albert Camus. So, laugh at the pain, laugh at the struggles you go through if you can find a way to, it’ll make this world ever so slightly more bearable and interesting.

[shakespeareanqueer]

Your Library

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Librarian!Reader

Summary: Feeling betrayed by Steve, Bucky wanders into a library. But not just any library; your library.

Word count: 1,100 words 📖 Warnings: Some angst at the beginning, then fluff!

A/N: Still trying to knock out my Bingos and keep falling off my horse! This one was mostly pre-written so I figured I’d get it out there, had the post all made up then my browser crashed! And it wasn’t saved as a draft. So it took my procrastinating butt a few days to make another post, but finally here we are. It’s for my Bucky Barnes Bingo “Fluff” box. Enjoy!

Lots of things had changed since the 1940s. Bucky would tend to say most things. The food had changed; it was better, less bland. Even the sheets had changed; they were softer. Why Steve would want to abandon all of the progress that had been made in society was beyond him. But he had no control over Steve’s actions; whatever made his best friend happy, he would support.

But the story has digressed. Lots of things had changed. But one thing he thought would remain constant was libraries. He used to love the library growing up. It was an excellent place to go to stay out of trouble, to stay out of his mother’s hair, to keep Steve out of trouble. Steve would sketch and he would read and since no one was allowed to talk, Steve couldn’t pick a fight with anyone. That’s always a plus. Here we go again with Steve. Bucky is constantly distracted by thoughts of Steve. Everything seems to remind him of him. And if it doesn’t remind him of something specific, then it’s something new, and he would get this urge to share with his best friend. And then his heart would break just a little more.

Libraries. He was thinking about libraries. Surely they must still be the same? Books haven’t changed all that much. Some are on tablet thingies now, but people still read physical books; he’s seen it. And they have to be housed somewhere and that’s what a library is for right? So he should expect something fairly similar to what he was used to growing up.

He should not have expected that, because what greets him as he walks through the doors is so totally different. There are stacks and stacks of books, but not nearly as many as he was expecting. There’s a whole bunch of computers. Damn, he was really hoping this could be his safe-haven away from those devil’s machines. And there are other big machines too.

He spins on his heels to just go right back out, but then he finally experiences something familiar. He hears a cheery voice singing out, “Can I help you with something?”

A grin actually spreads across his face subconsciously as he turns to face you. When he does, your eyes grow wide. “Oh my gosh, you’re Sergeant Barnes. An actual Avenger is in my library.”

Bucky lets out a dry chuckle, but he doesn’t know how to respond. So he asks, “Your library?” He cringes at how stupid the question is.

But your face lights up with pride and any regret that he had for asking that question instantly melts away. Beaming, you reply, “I was just promoted to Branch Librarian, so yes: my library. But I’m more than happy to share.” You wink.

“Well as the Branch Librarian I’m sure you have the expertise to answer this question: why have libraries changed so much since the 40s?”

Your face lights up again, and though the last two times have not been intentional, Bucky decides that if he gets the chance, he wants to get that expression out of you as often as possible.

“Oh, I’m not sure you want to get me started, Sergeant Barnes. That’s what I wrote my thesis on—progress vs stasis in libraries.”

“I’m very certain I do want to get you started. And please, call me Bucky.” He glances around nervously. “You haven’t shushed me yet…”

You let out of a soft giggle. “That’s a stereotype, Bucky.” You draw his name out, testing it. It feels nice in your mouth. “We’re in the foyer at the moment, there’s no need to keep our voices down. There are quiet and silent spaces in other parts of the library, but we’re safe to carry on a normal conversation here. As long as we don’t raise our voices at each other. Besides, shushing noises carry louder and farther than whispering or lowered voices, so they’re not the best way of keeping a library quiet anyway.”

“A librarian who is anti-shushing. Out of all the new things I’ve experienced, that is not something I expected to see.”

“Welcome to the twenty-first century, Serg-I mean, Bucky.” You smiled.

You gave him a tour around your library. Your enthusiasm about every little detail was infectious.

“A local artist painted this mural,” you explained excitedly when you entered the children’s section. One wall was painted with colorful famous storybook characters playing hide and seek in a set of bookcases. Bucky was pleased to see characters from his day as well: there was Winnie the Pooh and Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. He couldn’t help but smile being surrounded by tiny chairs and tiny books and lots of color and toys and games. Some kids were playing on the computers that were on tiny desks with little child-sized bean bag chairs, but plenty were actually reading or coloring or engaging in activities he would have at their age. It was a sweet scene, and you beaming with pride over the whole thing made it that much sweeter.

Bucky made it a habit after that to visit you at your library. He read old favorites in a comfy couch in the corner from which he could see your circulation desk, where you chatted amiably with customers and visitors. On Sundays, he came to the book sales and tried something new. That was his challenge to himself. They weren’t totally new, up-to-the-minute or anything, but they were newer than 1945, and that was adventure enough for him. When he finished any book, he would chat with you about them. Whether you had read that particular book or not (though you usually had), your face always lit up brightly to discuss your favorite topic, with someone who was rapidly becoming your favorite visitor.

There would always be a Steve-shaped hole in his heart, but it got smaller and smaller as time went on. He didn’t have the space to dwell on things he couldn’t change, a person he would never understand. His heart was too full of other things. Other people. People like you.

As he peered over the top of your copy of Sense and Sensibility to see you happily stacking books while humming a little tune under your breath he could only hear because of his enhanced senses, he thought maybe today would be the day he would build up the courage to ask you out. But there never felt like there was any rush. Time stood still in your little library.

[realm-sweet-realm]

Prison Cell, chapter 2

This is a story taking place in an AU where the studio became the sketch dimension before most of the sacrifices were made.  While this AU will have an emphasis on horror, especially in the later chapters, I also want to show the resilience of some of these characters.

---

"Can I be the one to go down there?" Susie asked.

"No," Abby answered firmly. "First we need to decide what we're going down there for. And I'm sorry, but I don't think it's going to be a rescue mission. I don't trust you not to turn it into one. Beyond that, though, whoever it is, it has to be someone at least somewhat nondescript. So, not you- you're pretty well-known, and your size alone is pretty distinctive. And not me, either- there are no other black women in this studio, so there definitely aren't any who are loyalists. And not Henry- he's a wanted man. Any volunteers?"

In the end, Jack was chosen for the first mission. He was fairly forgettable in appearance, and the one of the two people down there who knew him well wouldn't be one to call him out. Of course, the other was Joey Drew, but he was nonetheless the best candidate.

After Jack had been assigned, there was a brief discussion about where to hide Henry, they found someone to replace Norman as the projectionist, and a circuit of people were chosen to keep watch of the elevator at night so that no one would be attacked.

---

The next day, Jack put on the loyalist robes, traded his hat for a mask, and headed down in the elevator. The first lower floor that the elevator stopped at was at the old breakroom. Two men were there, playing pool in uniforms but no masks. It was strange how normal it looked. Jack figured that the masks must have only been for specific uses, including any visits to the upper floors. Hopefully he didn't stick out like a sore thumb.

"Hey," he said to them, trying to disguise his voice somewhat, "I have to check on the prisoners. I'm covering for a buddy. But he forgot to tell me where they are. Can you help me?"

One of the men gave him a funny look. There were a thousand things that could have given him away. Maybe all loyalists already knew where the prisoners were kept. "Floor 3B. Take two lefts. You can't miss it."

Jack thanked them and left.

Floor 3B was the second-to-last one, and it opened in a nondescript hallway. Once he’d followed the directions, he got to what looked like an unremarkable row of office doors. They looked like that, but Jack could hear someone crying within them, and could smell human waste. This was, undeniably, the place. Jack tried a few doors and found them to be locked. So, after checking to make sure that there was no one else nearby, he tried talking to the people within them. There were six prisoners in total. One of them was Emma LaMonte. Four of them had been a part of a small insurrection early on. Their stories broke Jack’s heart. One of them, Lacie, had been left with a broken leg that they had done nothing to treat. It had set incorrectly and was now a permeant cause of pain and poor mobility. Another of them, Shawn, had been fed ink. The final prisoner was also a surprise.

“Allison? I thought you were a loyalist.”

“I was, but I wasn’t very good at following the rules. Tom caught me breaking a pretty big one. He doesn’t want me to end up dead. So, he dragged me in here, and told the others that I’d done something less severe. Something that would get me locked up a long time, but not killed. I get treated better than the other prisoners, and Tom comes to visit me and take me around most nights like I’m a free person, but he still doesn’t trust me not to get myself killed. I know it’s only temporary, though.”

“Temporary?”

“Well, Tom says that Joey is working on a way out for all of us. I hope that’s true. But I’ve been in the dark pretty much since the beginning.”

Jack nodded. “I’m real sorry this has happened to you. Can I ask what you were doing? Oh- and do you know where there might be more prisoners?”

“I don’t know about other prisoners. But as for what I was doing- I was visiting the outside without permission. I actually did it several times before I got caught. If you want to do it, the portal is on floor 2B.”

“Okay. Thanks again,” Jack said before leaving.

The portal was not hard to find. A door like any other on floor 2B was in fact marked with the word, “portal.” Someone had left their keys in the door. Jack pocketed the keys and went in.

The inside of the room had, in addition to many typical janitorial supplies, a rack of small vials of dark, nearly-black liquid, a set of post-it notes, and a set of instructions. The instructions read, 

Step 1: write where you want to go on a note and stick it to a door.

Step 2: pour a vial of blood at the base of the door.

Curious as to how specific one had to be and how far the door’s powers extended, Jack wrote “China” on a note and poured out a vial. He opened the door, and on the other side was wilderness. Perhaps this was the very center of China. After being stunned for a moment at being able to see greenery and smell fresh air for the first time in months, Jack realized that, since the portal worked, there was a much better way he could be using it. Giddy, he wrote down his old address and repeated the ritual. The door opened to a closet in his own house. He could hear his dog barking and the voice of one of his kids, and for a moment he considered abandoning the studio and everyone in it.

Then the door shut, and opened again. Jack was roughly pulled through it, back into the supply closet.

“What were you doing!?” a woman yelled at him. Then, her voice dropped to a whisper. “Okay, give me back my keys and don’t tell anyone I forgot them, and I won’t tell anyone that you snuck a trip through the portal. Got it?” she was clearly just as frightened as he was.

“I won’t tell anyone. But could you please just let me have this? Just for ten minutes. Please?”

The woman appeared to mull this over. “Sure. But seriously- you can’t go through there dressed like that. Here, I’ll hold your mask...” the woman reached for his mask. 

Jack backed up against the wall. “Actually, I changed my mind. But don’t worry, I still won’t tell anyone.”

“Wait... you seem familiar...”

Jack opened the door and scrambled to the elevator, not looking back to see if she followed. 

---

“Okay, so the good news is that we know that the insurrectionists are alive,” Abby began after Jack had returned back and composed himself enough to report his findings. “And now we know about the portal. That’s very interesting. The bad news is that the prisoners are being kept in awful conditions, and they’re probably going to suspect anyone who’s wearing the mask in public places from now on. I guess the best thing to do is use someone who looks specifically like someone from down there. So, try to remember how the people down there looked. And thank you, Jack. That was very brave of you.”

Jack nodded and left Abby to her work. Planning an insurrection was difficult, and especially so on top of directing the art department. Shortly after Jack left, there was a knock on her door. It was Susie.

“Susie! Hi! did you get that list I asked for?”

Susie smiled. “Yep. Went to every department. There’s a good dozen or so people who are ready to hit the demon with an ax!”

Abby smiled back. Susie had been a big help to her. “Great! I’ll assign them floors.” hopefully the gambit would pay off. Hopefully they weren’t just throwing good fighters away. The forced blood extraction might have been frightening and violating to the people who received it, of whom there were more than a couple, but who knew when the insurrectionists might need their best fighters? If the demon just dragged them away anyhow, then this wasn’t the best use for them. Of course, being a leader in these times meant making a thousand decisions like that with limited information and hoping that things turned out for the better.

---

Days wore on. The guard system on the elevators had lasted all of a single night. The demon, finding a guard on each floor, had taken to eviscerating one of them. By the time the other guards arrived, the demon was standing over a corpse that appeared nearly inside-out. The demon scurried back to the elevator, and left before anything could be done to him.

The missions went poorly as well. Security had increased after Jack had nearly been found out. While the insurrectionists had managed to map out the lower floors (save for the very basement, which was sealed off), and found out that a great many of the loyalists were sick of a mysterious disease that caused blackened, shiny skin, they were unable to steal keys, free the prisoners, or access the portal again. After two weeks of no progress and three deaths, two of which had been killed after having been found out, Abby called the rebellion off. She felt it was what was best for everyone’s welfare, and since the loyalists had banned wearing masks on the lower floors, going undercover had become immensely more dangerous..

Susie continued to bring people together for meetings. She was not organized and dominant as Abby had been, and her meetings tended to be chaotic. The people were angry and had been emboldened. One night, a man stole a uniform and snuck down to the lowest levels. He killed a man with a knife and injured another before being imprisoned. The next day, Sammy came to the music department and escorted Susie to the basement.

"Where are you taking me?” Susie asked as Sammy clicked the elevator button to bring her to the lower floors.

“Don’t worry. No harm is going to come to you yet. This is something that Joey Drew is explicitly allowing. He knows that he needs to stop this rebellion, so he’s going to use sticks and carrots. And, well, this is the carrot.” Sammy’s face was unreadable.

They went into the room labelled “portal.”

“The first thing that I’ve been asked to do is tell you why all of this is necessary. Susie, your blood can open the portals to the outside. There were only six people in the entire studio with the right blood properties to do that, and your rebellion killed one of them last night.”

Susie nodded. “What I’ve never understood is why you don’t just let everyone out. I mean, you have a portal.”

Sammy took off his shirt, revealing a black growth that had spread across his chest, stomach, and shoulders. “If I spend more than a day or two out there, I will get sick and die. The same is true of everyone who was in the room when the ink machine exploded. Some of us are too deformed to even be allowed through the portal anymore. Joey is looking for a way to cure us so that everyone can be free. And until then, he needs your blood.”

“That doesn’t explain why he’s keeping everyone else.”

Sammy cringed. “That’s probably his own selfishness- wanting to maintain his studio the best he can. He’s not exactly as sane as he used to be. But... you’ll find out about that soon enough. For now, Susie, I’m supposed to give you your carrot. We have some money to spend, and I’ve been given permission to take you anywhere in the world you want for the day and send you back with an offering of gifts.”

Susie thought on this. “What if I told you that I wanted my gift to be Norman?”

“You’ll find out about him tonight. He’s a part of the bargaining.”

Susie’s face lit up. “Okay, wonderful!”

The two of them spent a day in Paris together. Afterwards, Sammy sent her back with two first-aid kits. One of them was fully stocked and then some, as it contained much of the contents that had been in the other one. The other they had emptied. Anything from it they couldn’t pack into the first box had been abandoned on the street, and they had filled the box with knives.

“Please promise me that you won’t use these unless absolutely necessary. Joey doesn’t want it to come to war, but if it does, there is a lot he could use against you. The loyalists could poison you with ink, or they could refuse you access to any resources and starve you into compliance. And thankfully, we don’t have guns, but if things ever escalated, we could get them, and you couldn’t. So, please, for own safety, only use these for self-defense.”

“I won’t let anyone know about these. But I'm not sure I can control them. Angry people that feel like they have nothing to lose are... really hard to lead.”

Sammy went quiet.

“Something wrong, Sammy?”

“Well, I told you that we were planning on using sticks and carrots, right? Well, Joey- if I can still call that thing “Joey”- is about to give you your stick. He wants to crush the rebellion with shock and awe. And I’m scared that he’s just going to make everyone angrier.”

Susie didn’t know what to say to that. “It’ll be okay, Sammy.”

“I sure hope so,” he replied, starting to cry.

Finding the portal again was easy- it was right where it had been at the beginning of the day, in some supply closet in some department store. A loyalist checked over what Susie had brought back, but Sammy had made sure that the person to do so would be another sympathizer, so they were let go. They stepped onto the elevator again. “Alright. Time for the stick. I’m supposed to deliver you to the very basement. I’m sorry.”

[avauntus]

2020 favs: (short) fic recs

I am stealing this idea from @macgyver-sheriff, who has no clue who I am, but whose post I saw go across my dash. Thank you! 👋

Would you like some recs for the holiday season? - I too would like to share love for my favorite things I read that were written this year! <3

I’m going to do this in two parts - the short fics (10k or less, generally one-shot), and another post for the long or series fics I loved this year (it’s 2020, I figure we can use too much of a good thing?)

( @staidwaters - I’m ‘disqualifying’ your works because I’m biased, sorry! Look away! Unless you want recs!) 

"Congratulations, Get Rich" (9,238 words) by Attila (The Untamed - modern AU)

Tomorrow is Chinese New Year, which means Wei Wuxian has to get all of his bad decisions out of the way tonight.

Lan Wangji, Lan Xichen, Jiang Cheng, Mianmian are all so screamingly perfect as modern versions of themselves in this, and it is KNOCK DOWN HILLARIOUS. Wei Wuxian is just a screaming queer disaster (affectionate) - as he should be.

Excerpt:

After a long beat, Lan Xichen sinks gracelessly into the chair Lan Wangji had been sitting in earlier. “I just want to be absolutely clear,” he says delicately, “that you are currently under the impression that my brother has no romantic feelings for you. That is what you’re saying to me right now, yes?”

“Yes?” Wei Wuxian says, feeling desperately confused. “Obviously? Why?”

“Because at least one of you is very stupid, and I’m trying to figure out who,” Lan Xichen tells him, sounding distracted. It’s the rudest thing Wei Wuxian has ever heard him say, and his mouth drops open slightly.

“caved to the careless” (6,708 words) by ilgaksu (The Untamed/MDZS - Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen)

Love is a choice you make - like this, and this, and this.

Have you ever read a writer whose work is so distinctly itself that you can feel yourself slipping in time even as you keep going? That’s not very articulate, but it’s the best way I can describe everything of ilgaksu’s I’ve read. Their fics are the same emotional register as having the breath knocked out of you after a fall. This was the first one I read, and I think it ends well-- with what Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen find along the path-- but it’s still heavy. Discussions of canon-compliant character death and grief/mourning here.

Excerpt:

He pauses. Until this very moment, he was unsure who to ask for. He has heard the rumours of the Yiling Patriarch’s ongoing residence here, about Zewu-jun’s seclusion: he’s dead, but even the dead are not free from gossip. But he remembers a courtyard, nearly two decades ago, and the weight of eyes some might have called angry in their intensity. He remembers those same eyes, and how for the wear of the intervening years, they had kept the same essence: longing, yearning, a kind of small unspoken grief.

Song Lan had a dream once. A dream of a sect, bound not by blood, but by a shared belief in the right path. So many things are only an inheritance: shame is one of them.  

Love is a choice. Love is a choice, and you choose until you can’t.

“I am here,” he decides, carving the words into the dirt, every stroke of every character resolute, “To meet with Hanguang-jun. Please show this one the way to go.”  

“Green River Running” (8,169 words) by @rain-hat (Love in the Moonlight - post-canon AU)

5+1: Kim Byeong-yeon returns to the land of the living.

I skimmed through Love in the Moonlight during my quarantine summer (distinguishable from my “quarantine spring” or “quarantine fall” only by fireworks), and immediately upon finishing, thought: “Psht, they killed off their best character.” And then, something happened that never happens -- I went on ao3 and found the exact thing I was looking for, written far  better than I could have imagined. Kim Byeong-yeon is such a quiet yet powerfully subversive presence and the progression here is so masterfully done. This is true of all of rainhat’s work’s I’ve read, but this is a fine example-- I really treasure the warm humanism of them.

Excerpt:

People needed helping hands even more than they needed sympathetic ears, though. Over the last year, Hong Gyeong-rae and Byeong-yeon had built houses and planted crops side by side; negotiating with moneylenders here, helping small-folk secure their stores against bandits there. There was nothing courtly about Byeong-yeon’s capacity for labour, or his expectation of reward. Wherever he went, he worked from dawn to dusk, ate the food he was given, and slept under a roof if he was offered one.

It suited him, Hong Gyeong-rae thought, even though there was something outlandish about his gentle speech and palace manners in the midst of it all. But to behave in any other way would be untrue to his upbringing; nor was he the sort of man to whom it would occur to try. And after all, most people liked to be treated with courtesy; it did not come across as mockery from this solemn, severely dressed young man, who seemed to find no task too big or too small. Hong Gyeong-rae had seen him argue tax law with local councillors and stand up to highwaymen armed with nothing but a knife and staff. But he watched cooking pots for women who had to run to the fields to tide over the day’s labour, too; he wrote letters for them, and tolerated their fractious children and spoon-fed their bedridden elders, if that was what was called for.

“The Veritable Records of King Taejo: Year 2, Entry 208“ (9,857 words) by @sadviper (My Country: the New Age - Nam Seon-ho & Hwang Sung-rok slice-of-life)

Hwang Sung-rok eats his way to the bottom of a real estate scam, and Seon-ho and Yeon help (a little).

No one is out here doing it like SadViper. This is technically part of a series, but they can all be read separately. I did not realize I needed to see more of Nam Seon-ho in all his “type-A government official glory” until Viper started sketching him out for us, and as a bonus, we get to see Yeon, and Sung-rok as the world’s surliest caretaker (but don’t call him that). I have an authorial fallacy where I always think stories have to have some grand “plot” -- a “Maltese Falcon” to pull the reader along-- the genius of Viper’s work is she shows us exactly how interesting and important the day-by-day tiny choices and connections we make are, with an impeccable background of historical research to ground you in the setting.

Excerpt:

Nam Seon-ho was his master now. He was a strange one. He was a traitor, for helping the escaped Liaodong soldiers, but not, because he managed to wiggle his way back into Yi Seong-gye’s favor and was now a sixth-ranked inspector with the privilege of having personal audiences with the King. He was temperamental and belligerent from being the son of a slave mother and a lifetime subject of Lord Nam’s fantastic parenting philosophy. He was afflicted with perpetual guilt. And he was also one of the hardest working and most desperate people Sung-rok had ever known.

It was a terrible combination. He was not merely a disaster waiting to happen, but a disaster perambulating on two legs at the edge of a chasm. If Sung-rok intended to stay in service for long, he needed to find a way to cool down some of Seon-ho’s intensity, even though admittedly, it was what drew him to Seon-ho in the first place.

Thoughts like these plagued Sung-rok for a while. It was one thing to know a person; it was quite another thing to try to change them.

“Orison” (4,975 words) by @gravelghosts​ (aeli_kindara) (Supernatural 15x18 coda)

Cas says, I love you.

So! This rips my heart out, every time. All the times Dean imagines himself together with Cas...and then he imagines himself, if not happy, then thriving.

Jack: “What is the point...if everyone I care about is going to leave?”

Castiel: “The point is that they were here at all and you got to know them, you... When they're gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them.”

Excerpt:

The thing Dean tries to do is: listen.

Happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just — being. It’s in just saying it, Cas tells him, and Dean’s whole heart is screaming, No, but he shuts his mouth. He listens. He listens like his life fucking depends on it, which it does, in more ways than one.

“Sky Full of Song” (6,632 words) by @drivingsideways (Supernatural, finale 15x20 fix-it, Dean/Cas)

Or: The One in which Cas ghosted Dean.

Look. Look. If Cas(tiel) can yank Dean Winchester out of Hell, celestial-scream at him not once but twice, burn out a woman’s eyes like an utter clown before thinking “Huh, an Earthly vessel, guess that’s not just bullshit, then,” and when they finally work it out, Dean greets them with a knife to the chest and THEN they’ll spend twelve years misunderstanding each other and bickering, you had better believe these two are going to be disasters even in Heaven. Drivingsideways gives us all of that dynamic, with the found family of Jack and Mary as facilitators, and the happy resolution, which of course includes a true form “roughly the size of your Chrysler Building.” <3

Excerpt:

The thing is, Castiel doesn’t want Dean to feel obligated.

Dean has a streak of self-sacrifice that's as wide as the Caspian Sea, and Castiel doesn't want to be any more of a chore or obligation than they have been to Dean for all the long years of their—brotherhood.

Castiel had shocked Dean, to the core of him, with their confession, and Castiel had seen the swirling confusion, the fear, the panic, the shit what do I say, what do I do—how do I stop him—

So, no, Castiel would not be paying a visit anytime soon.

Of course, if Dean evinced an interest in meeting them, then Castiel would not stay away.

Castiel isn't that cruel.

(They have, on occasion, been exactly that cruel, but they are trying to outgrow it.)

Dean is still their friend.

Dean knows how to reach them, if he wants to.

(see? disasters. haha)

“The Rough” (3,267 words) by anactoria (Supernatural, finale -15x20- ‘fix-it’)

 Heaven can absolutely fucking wait.

Rec’ed for the concept more than the style (this is dialogue-heavy, as a lot of 15x20 fix-its tend towards), but I *love* this course-correction: After kicking around Heaven, Dean and Cas return to Earth to take their place as urban legends among the hunter community. Just for a while.

Excerpt:

But it isn’t life. That’s the thing. It’s awesome, but it isn’t life; life’s a hard, painful, infuriating mess, and Dean only got halfway through his own, and he feels cheated. For all he held it together for Sammy at the end, for all he tried to take Cas’s big moment-of-happiness speech on board, he feels cheated.

There’s supposed to be peace at the end. When you’re done.

Dean wasn’t done.

[thewriting-corner]

‘Renegades’ trilogy by Marissa Meyer: review

Welcome today to a post I have been waiting to do for months. I never do entire posts for book reviews, but since this was a trilogy (and one of my favorites I read this year) I decided it would deserve a little more.

Note: I will be doing a spoiler-free review first and then I’ll put a warning before talking about each individual book :)

Synopsis: The Renegades are a syndicate of prodigies—humans with extraordinary abilities—who emerged from the ruins of a crumbled society and established peace and order where chaos reigned. As champions of justice, they remain a symbol of hope and courage to everyone... except the villains they once overthrew.

Trilogy Review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I honestly think these are the best books I’ve ever read. The description was fascinating, easy to follow and gave amazing imagery without that heaviness that a lot of fantasy books have (this is more sci-fi/dystipia-ish but still).

The characters felt real and their individual voices were clear from start to finish. I loved every single character, even the ones I hated. 

However, there is one thing that bothered me BUT it does align with their world and that is the lack of accountability certain characters recieve (but I will be talking about that in my Supernova review).

Then the PLOT OH MY GOSH. I mean, it’s superheroes. It’s nearly impossible to be original with a plot that isn’t the same as any Marvel or DC comic/movie/show. And yet Marissa Meyer that such a beautiful job of taking a common conflict (heroes vs villains, villains wanting to take over the world) and turning it into a unique plot with amazing twists. 

I mentioned the world-building before, but I’ll do it again. Third person POV is not my favorite and neither is heavy world building like the one this book needed and had. Still, it was written in such a simple way that I didn’t feel like she was trying to confuse me, it was just a story.

Overall, this series was amazing and I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a fast paced, mind-blowing world building and compelling characters that will make you feel single to the core even in a relationship.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

Renegades ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“We were all villains in the beginning.”

I went into this book with low expectations because I didn’t think I’d like Marissa Meyer’s style and boy was I wrong.

The first few chapters were a bit confusing but the moment Adrian fixed Nova’s bracelet I KNEW this would steer towards romance and it sold me. And then Nightmare making fun of the Sentinel for his comic book phrases and poses was my favorite thing ever. That would be me as a superhero, no doubt.

I really liked the way the plot progressed “slowly” without feeling dragged on. In fact, despite it’s slower pace of the story, the book still felt quick and that just won a million points with me.

Don’t even get me started on the Anarchists. I LOVED them. I like how they weren’t presented as villains from Nova’s POV, just enemies of a totalitarian state. Not even just in her point of view though. I genuinely didn’t think any of them were bad until Ingrid decided to show up at the library and almost killed Sketch’s crew.

And speaking of Sketch’s crew … the minor characters??? Hello??? Who writes side characters that are SO good?? Oscar is my favorite though. He wins. Danna being the only one to question Nova about Adrian’a feelings for her was hilarious, although it stressed me out that Nova put her to sleep. Counterpoint: it was very cute that the only way she could stop thinking of Adrian liking her was by putting Danna to sleep. Very on point teenage reaction. I would’ve done the same thing if only I wasn’t trying to remain anonymous in the organization that indirectly killed my parents. 

The climax, on the other hand, felt a teensy bit rushed but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy Nodrian in their not-date. It was adorable, especially when they stopped at the kid’s party and then Nova panicking over the mere thought of going on the ferris wheel with Adrian. All the carnival chapters where my favorite thing ever and I really wished they hadn’t ended with Nova killing the woman who raised her. But I did like the irony of it being Ingrid who told her she didn’t have the guts to press the trigger and then she died at the hands of Nova’s gun. 

AND THE ENDING WITH ACE BEING ALIVE. That shook me. I suspected it, of course, but it shook me to my core. 10/10 plot twist there.

Archenemies ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“I guess I figured you deserve to have good dreams every once in a while. Even if you never sleep.”

This one gets six stars because somehow I read it in 11 hours and I’ve never read such a large book in one day. The entire story was just fast-paced action, superhero world building and Nodrian flirting and eventually kissing. Best book ever.

I liked how in this book we got a closer look into other character relationships like Oscar and Ruby and then Danna’s suspicions over Nova. I would’ve liked to see more of Danna’s friendship with the team though, since at times it seemed she was only there to send passive aggressive comments at Nova. And the Sentinel’s “death” was amazing. Pure comic book material right there. 

There is this thing though that I mentioned in the general review that bothered me and it’s when they reveal Agent N. This weapon they created using Max’s blood is a great example of how the Renegades had obtained way too much power. It’s when we start to see that maybe Nova and the Anarchists are right. The Renegades are slowly becoming a dictatorship and it’s bothersome that nobody except Nova and Adrian notice. Especially when it was so obvious with things like them using Agent N “against every prodigy who didn’t follow the Renegades code”. Sure, they were criminals, but that wasn’t about arresting them. It was about changing the DNA of people who made one mistake and were immediately deemed enemies of the state.

Back to the good stuff, Nodrian flirting was the highlight of this book. They’re both so awkward and adorable, especially when Nova’s teaching Adrian how to shoot and then when they’re in his room later on. The whole “you want me to ignore everything?” and “you’re not allowed to have girls in your room?” quotes KILLED me. Those were peak flirting moments and I’m immensely surprised by the way that Marissa Meyer manages to write teenagers realistically as an adult and not even having teenage kids of her own. Also, Nova opening up to Adrian was just. No. It killed me. My ghost is writing this btw.

The ending, once again, amazing. I loved it. Not only did it once again show Frostbite’s true colors, show us how much hate Adrian actually held against Nightmare and the way Nova had softened by the Renegades’ influence. And Ace Anarchy’s capture goes into the good things pile.

Supernova ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“To be honest, I’m not sure there are such things as villains anymore. Maybe there never really were.”

Is it a bad review if I just insert the word “AH” for the next ten lines? Yes? Damn it. I admit that I was expecting something much different, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I have never cursed and squealed so much by reading and had I not bought the hardcover with my own money, I would’ve thrown that book against the wall. It stressed me out. First of all, getting Nova and Adrian kissing in the tunnels a few chapters before Adrian arrests her for being Nightmare was another level of messed up. Clearly, she did everything in her power to save him from her house’s explosion and he threw it out the window in blind anger. And then the whole execution thing??? That was horrifying and it’s when the Renegades’ incompetence really showed its true colors. They couldn’t bring the people back to their side - because they failed - so they sentenced a broken, dying man and an underage girl who acted under the manipulation of her entire family, to death. If Hugh had ever even attempted to find out what happened to both Artino girls, none of that mess would’ve happened, but instead Lady Indomitable died and he went “WELL, can’t do anything about her last task, can we?” I get he was preoccupied by her orphaned son and the Ace of Anarchy, but it was as simple as going back into the house and searching. In fact, this entire book was just showing how their society was crumbling and in the end they went “we were all heroes”. I’m surprised Nova forgave the entire Renegades organization for what they did because even if it was Ace who sent a hit after her and her family, the Renegades were still willing to overuse their power. 

And once again back to the good stuff before I end up bashing the Renegades even more, I never thought I would be on board with Adrian and Nova’s relationship at the end of the book. I try not to ship toxic relationships in YA because they happen a lot and I wouldn’t like younger readers to think that it’s okay, but I loved how both Nova and Adrian were willing to make a change for their relationship to work. They compromised because they loved each other so much it didn’t matter who had tried to kill the other person and their dad or who hadn’t advocated against the other’s execution, you know, the ups and downs of every relationship. While I do wish we had seen them talking about everything, I get a book can only have a certain amount of words and I was glad just the same with how it ended. Also, Leroy’s threat to Adrian is iconic, just like Oscar proclaiming his undying love for Ruby at the arena were they almost witnessed multiple murders.

The epilogue. Just. Wow. I knew it before because I’m smart and I spoiled it but I NEED another Renegades book. You can’t just end the series saying Evie Artino was Magpie and her being as angry as Nova once was. Like, no. You just can’t. That was a crime against humanity, tbh, but overall the series was amazing and I have never been more grateful to spend almost $80 in books.