#they all need a good therapist

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[starry-bi-sky]

this just in: danny fenton is just as much of a mask as Brucie Wayne? - another danyal al ghul au

Turns out, being placed in a civilian family who have no knowledge of your background is actually detrimental to the health and development of a child assassin due to lack of proper support! Surrounded by strangers in a foreign city, Danyal Al Ghul does as assassins do best. He hides. Espionage is one of many teachings one learns in the League, and it only takes half a day for Danyal to construct a new persona to hide behind: Daniel Fenton.

By the time dinner rolls around, Danyal al Ghul is safely and securely tucked behind the face of Danny Fenton; brand new adoptive child of the Fenton family who came from overseas. A shy, quiet little boy with a thick accent and curly hair, with brown skin and blue eyes, and an avid interest in the stars. The best fictions are always cobbled together in a little bit of truth, it's some of the only truth he ever lets through. He apologizes in a meek voice for his behavior early, he didn't mean to be rude, and he watches the three of them eat it up with coos.

Lies roll like silk against his lips, he struggles to meet their eyes and offers them his weakest, shyest smile. It's too easy. It's easy to go from there.

Danny Fenton, adoptive son, shy and awkward and unconfident but friendly. Who struggles in his classes and isn't the brightest, but tries his hardest. He makes bad jokes and has a quick tongue and a sarcastic mouth. He wants to be an astronaut. He's got the best aim in school, and is a terrifying dodgeball player. He's one of the least athletic kids in his grade.

It's like playing two truths and a lie, but there's only one truth, and the rest are lies. It's easy to pretend when he knows it's insincere.

Danyal Al Ghul, grandson to the Demon Head. Deadly, trained assassin. Has spilled blood, has had blood spilt from. Environmentalist, animal activist. He loves the stars. He owns a calligraphy set. A sharp tongue, an even sharper blade. He's clever, quick-witted, he would be top of his grade if he tried harder. He purposely doesn't.

He misses his family. He misses his mother, and he misses his brother. Mother visits a few times a year, so few times that he can count it on both hands. He cherishes every visit, as brief as they are. It helps remind him who he is.

Sam and Tucker are Danny's best friends. They've never met Danyal, but Danyal's met them.

It becomes routine to become Danny Fenton. As familiar and as easy as pulling on a shirt in the morning. Danyal wakes up and is always first to the bathroom in the mornings; stares at himself in the mirror until he can finally see Danny staring back at him. At night, he locks his door and sheds the mask.

Dying throws a wrench in his mask; splits a crack straight through the porcelain. He's able to smooth it over with sandpaper and liquid gold, but it's a little hard keeping his ghost form under wraps. It instinctively wants to shift to show his true self. Danyal can't have that, he's spent four years as Danny Fenton, he'll spend another four as him as well. Even if the feeling of the hazmat suit in his ghost form feels restrictive, like a too-small shirt suctioned to his skin that needs to be peeled off.

He'll live. Er-- well, you know what he means. It's frustrating however, trying to keep his Danny Fenton mask up even as Phantom - fighting in the air is something he needs to get used to, and the sudden propping of powers throws him off. But he is nothing if not adaptive, and he hates that he needs to slow his own skills down in order to keep pretenses up in front of Sam and Tucker.

The first time Danyal summons a sword when he's alone, is one of the few times Danyal gets to grin instead of Danny. He's fighting Skulker, and from an invisible hilt he draws a katana from thin air. It startles them both. Skulker takes a step back at the smile that spreads across his face.

They're both silent as Danyal examines his new sword.

"Do you know what people like me do to people like you, poacher?" Danyal finally asks him, the accent he began to hide a few months in slipping through. He drops all pretense, dragging the flat end of the blade slow and appreciatively against his palm. It's a good make, and when he cuts it through the air, it slices through like butter. He looks up at Skulker with a smile; "are you ready to find out?"

When Sam and Tucker ask about why Skulker seems so skittish around Danny now, Danny shrugs at them and says with a playful smile; "I don't know, I guess I kicked his butt too hard after our last fight." and he watches as Sam rolls her eyes exasperatedly, and Tucker snickers with his own joke.

By the time he reunites with Damian before their 15th birthday, Danyal is buried beneath so many layers of Danny Fenton that his brother will need a shovel to dig him out. He's not sure what he'll find.

[teaboot]

I’m sending this anonymously but this is NOT anon hate

You are such a good person, i think. Your latest post(as of 4:10pm Arizona, US time) spoke to me really hard. My father is a cop, in the united states, arizona, duh. And he used to be such a good person, he was a security guard and a damn good one too, and later in he became a prison guard because it paid better, and then he joined the police force.

I’d like to think that hes one of the good ones, and for the most part he is. A lot of my delinquent friends over the years who’ve had run-ins with him say that he gets them breaks, he takes care of them, hes a good cop. I’ve even seen body camera footage of him in the field and i’m proud to say that hes my dad. He calls out bad actors where he sees them, and he gets punished for it. He doesnt see the system or how his punishments are by design. And he continues turning in his cog, begrudgingly, and slightly out of time, but he thinks hes making a difference

Sorry for the ramble and essay, i just wanted to say that i really like your blog and i think you are a very nice human being. Thank you for sharing your perspective.

P.s. i’m totally basing an oc off of your outlook on security. You strike me as more of a superhero than a security guard.

-🦕 anon

Oh, that’s a super flattering take and a valuable perspective- so thank you! But I’m a gullible dumbass, and not even an incredibly smart or fit one- I just want people to be happy and safe. That’s all. And I don’t want to BE a cop, I’ve NEVER wanted to be a cop, but every time the request comes around I feel like I’m wearing down.

I keep wondering if I could help MORE in a position like that.

Probably like your dad did.

Here, people know they’re safe with me because I shut down the gunhappy jerks, but I don’t know how long it would take to truly make a difference in public security, or how many of my morals I’d have to compromise to get to that point

I feel objectively like a system so archaic and flawed can’t be changed from the inside, but another part of me says that you don’t need to change an entire system to make a difference where it counts

I believe that so many bad situations and life-changing moments can be diverted or changed by a single person in the right place at the right time- and I figure, if I trust myself to do the right thing and BE the right person, shouldn’t I do my best to put myself in those places?

But good intentions, roads to hell, you know? I don’t WANT to be a cop. But I want to be able to DO SOMETHING about the thinks I dislike seeing in conflicts. SOMEONE has to be willing to do that, right?

I’m not religious, you know? But the devil can be very convincing

[sciderman]

Oh man I really hope Lefty wakes up soon. Seems like the lack of cortisol is really hitting you hard. 'Bout ready to start a cult to the Adrenal Gods to make things better for you.

Hope you feel better soon!!

thank you anon!! i am not doing well but i really appreciate your kind thoughts!! please please pray to the adrenal gods. pray for me.

[biddy-biddy-biddy]

i swear to god evan dorkin backtracked on the pete ending thing

he thought it was funny just ending my guy like this

[bumblingbabooshka]

Every time I watch the cold open of Memorial and B'Elanna tells Tom about how she ASSEMBLED a 50's television set from SCRATCH just to surprise him (there's no reason beyond that - just an incredibly sweet and thoughtful gesture) and replicated popcorn for him to eat while he watches and Tom says "They didn't have remote controls in the 50's ♥ Also where's my beer?" I contemplate murder ESPECIALLY because B'Elanna responds cheerfully to it - GIRL!!! LEAVE HIM!!!!!! IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE CHARMING IN THIS SCENE????

[raylazuko]

New headcanon.

That Diluc and Crepus are alike in a lot of ways and I get the impression that Crepus also lived vicariously through Diluc in terms of “I couldn’t be a knight so you go do that” even if he may have had some reservations with the Knights himself but wouldn’t wanna alienate them because of his kids or because of business reasons.

That Crepus and Varka have a begrudging mutual respect for each other but do not agree with each other’s tactics.

Crepus, like later Diluc, finds the knights inefficient. That he was working to bring down the Fatui in his own way secretly. There is some underground vigilante anti-Fatui group that Diluc later joined because he has contacts in Mond when he gets back.

Diluc is a kid and delluded into thinking the Knights are perfect and Crepus doesn’t wanna crush his dreams.

Then reality happens.

That Diluc has noticed some corruption already and has his reservations and annoyances. That that night was his final straw. That he’s relieved to be out of the Knights but feels like he let his father down but also has a weird feeling that he did the right thing by him.

And that he later learns more about the underground efforts and just how stupid the knights are being and that diplomacy doesn’t solve everything.

But he doesn’t wanna alienate them too much because of his begrudging respect for Kaeya.

And also he’s annoyed and slightly jealous that Kaeya took his position.

He secretly wishes Kaeya would leave but if he told Kaeya everything he knows it would destroy him. Or he just wouldn’t listen.

Or that Kaeya does know and wants to change things from the inside.

Or he stays because he thinks that’s what Crepus wanted and actually sees Diluc as disrespecting their father’s wishes.

Or Kaeya stays because the knights treated HIM well, and he doesn’t have any other family left. They ARE his family. His dad abandoned him and he doesn’t know where his mom is (if shes alive). If he has other siblings they’re probably working for the Order. His adoptive dad died and his adoptive brother views him as a pushover for staying perhaps.) Let’s also not forget that Kaeya was probably pressured into doing whatever he was forced to do as a kid as being an heir to the Abyss Order basically. He probably doesn’t know HOW to say no or stand up against institutional injustice. Anything is better than where he came from. So he mostly just distances himself from the Knights by hunting treasure hoarders for fun and gathering intel because his position is literally useless.

I also think Jean’s hands are tied because she’s also barely legal and has too much pressure and is probably going off some some handbook and can’t reorganize things too much to not piss of Varka when he gets back. Plus they’re short-staffed. It’s very likely Varka groomed Jean in some way to succeed him and just put way too much pressure on this kid so now all she knows is how to work. Yeah I don’t like Varka lol.

For Kaeya it’s like “don’t bite the hand that feeds”. Kaeya leaving the knights would lose him EVERYTHING and he cannot risk that. There’s also a real chance that Varka knows about his past and if he leaves, he would become a target due to him being potentially dangerous.

It’s just a big mess all around and Ragbros+Jean are dysfunctional adults that had unrealistic pressures put on them as kids.

[riverlet]

OH MY GOD

COMEDY MASK GANGLE HAS BEEN SPOTTED

[mocha-tapioca]

CONGRATS ON 5K @lotus-pear!‼︎‼︎ YOU GO GIRLIE

[thousandyearphantombunker]

"women need to be meaner! Men shouldn't dictate a girls boundaries"

You couldn't handle Connie Maheswaran setting healthy (and much-needed) boundaries with her best friend. You freaking called her toxic and abusive. While season 3 of Amphibia is a hot mess Sasha Waybright being upset with Marcy isn't the problem! It makes sense she'd be pissed that she found out her friend borderline kidnapped her! Even if she can be read as kind of hypocritical, I think she has every reason to be upset! She's like what 14 at the oldest? In a terrifying situation?

It's always "set healthy boundaries" until they set boundaries with your favorite baby and don't spend 100% of their time supporting them/don't forgive their friends for their actions that hurt others

I'm sorry that Steven is your woobie child and Marcy is your comfort character but Connie and Sasha have a right to their feelings and a right to focus on their needs! It's always 'don't feel guilty about focusing on your needs' except not really because apparently focusing on yourself is actually selfish and it's morally wrong to feel certain ways about people! Connie isn't toxic- she acted really mature about the whole situation and while Sasha definitely is toxic- I think she has the right to be mad her friend borderline kidnapped her and broke her trust.

I am a firm believer in setting healthy boundaries and never letting anyone decide your boundaries for you especially when it comes to being supportive. Even if the person you are helping is a good person going through a rough patch you should still have boundaries with them- you can be supportive if you want but you should be your main priority in the need and as callous as it sounds it's not mandatory to give support to everyone especially if your being worn thin

[bigmfrat]

i want to see more terrible mindflayer OCs, but canon evil mindflayer ocs, not just some half baked "this is the bad guy i used in my dnd game, he uuuh, can enthrall you". I want to see Abysmal Creed Illithid! I want the tormentors and torturers without a shred of empathy and who only form bonds with others of their kind out of convenience! Enthrallment is so surface level! Illithid can be and are so much worse! I'm all for good illithid but BG3 has 1) given us no lore about them at all and has shown that no one knows jack shit about them, and 2) has woobiefied/watered down the FUCK out of their species. their society sucks and illithid are a product of that! Canonically they can be any alignment but tend to be evil due to their society. Illithid have a growing up phase of 20-21 years and learn from their environment just as we do! Im kinda getting bored of "illithid is a victim of their elderbrain" I want to see a squid that revels in agony all on their own!! 99% of people who have any concept of Illithid think they only eat brains! They don't! they eat the whole person, their favorite parts are the organs and they eat them raw and who knows if they even kill the guy first!!!! Make Some Evil Squid Bitches! Heres two of the most important sources of Illithid canon lore as free PDFs

[moomin279]

"You'll never recover from that kind of devotion." — For Your Own Good, Leah Horlick

[iustitians]

ooc; headcanons - on Neuvillette's abilities, power, combat ability and fighting style

Ah yes, hello, it’s me again. The person who can’t shut up about an old man with a jabot who's also a dragon.

So I’ve wanted to talk about Neuvillette’s combat ability and style as well as his power for a while now, both to chat about some of my headcanons and theories for some of them, and to just kind of sort them out for myself. This is going to be a whole lot of rambling (by which I mean 8 Google Doc pages), so proceed at your own risk. Fontaine and Natlan Archon Quest spoilers below.

Combat prowess

So here’s a fun thing for me to start with: I don’t think Neuvillette is that great in a fight. Which I feel like many don’t think about at first, but actually makes sense when you consider his life, or what we know of it at least. Dude’s essentially a divine judge. Mostly dwelling in the seas without a purpose for who knows how long, and then running human trials and doing paperwork for 500 years. Where would this guy have gained any substantial battle experience?

Throughout the Fontaine AQ, we see him in combat situations three times. The first time is at the end of Act II, where Childe is about to go bonkers in the Opera, only for Neuvillette to jump in and oneshot him. Which looked impressive and all – except we shouldn’t forget that Neuvillette caught Childe off-guard from above and behind while he was mid-transformation, and broke through his defenses with sheer power, not necessarily skill. I highly doubt it would have gone like this had Childe had a chance to prepare. Neuvillette didn’t walk out of that one unscathed either, receiving a scratch from Childe during the very brief struggle they had. And as an extra note, I can’t help but look back at the moment in the cutscene where he looked at his own blood with what looked like both anger and surprise - it very much gave off the vibe of someone who isn’t used to being hurt.

The second combat situation was his first encounter with the Narwhal, which… when you think back to it, he essentially lost that one, didn’t he? It shrugged off his attack, shattered his protective barrier like glass, and would have devoured the people he attempted to protect had it not been for Childe’s intervention. Neuvillette was only able to deliver a decisive hit after Childe attacked and distracted it, causing it to turn its back to him and allowing him to unleash a powerful blow when he was prepared, undisturbed, and at a safe distance. It wasn’t exactly his best showing.

And it really was the only time we’ve actually seen him straight up actively participating in combat, because the third time to mention is the Fontaine AQ’s final battle against the Narwhal. Except the thing is… Neuvillette doesn’t really fight in that battle. We do. He supports us from the sidelines, separating the Primordial Sea’s power from the whale and sharing his power with us.

So really, he’s been in an on-screen combat situation once and, arguably, lost. Great.

… Of course, I’m not saying he’s weak. The first two situations I mentioned were with his Authority shattered, and nowadays may have been a different story. And even before he was restored, his power was very formidable. It’s just that power doesn’t have to equal combat ability – and the latter I do believe he lacks.

In fact, we can even extend this logic to him as a playable unit. He’s a very powerful DPS, which is great and all, but when you look at it more closely, you realize that he really doesn’t do much. I’ll discuss his fighting style a bit later, but he has exactly one trick up his sleeve: the Hydro Pump. When people criticize Neuvillette as a unit, the main point brought up is that he is boring – and honestly, however much I love him, I can see some players feeling that way, because… yeah, that’s all he does. He floats in the air and waterboards his enemies from a distance, overwhelming them with sheer power, while requiring little skill to use. He is incapable of anything more fancy than that. He’s a gorgeous, majestic and powerful one-trick pony.

And again, it all makes sense when you consider who he is and what kind of life he has led. He’s not a warrior, he’s an official – whether a Fontaine one, or a divine draconic one – who only displays his power as a last resort, in a way meant to end whatever strife is threatening peace and stability once and for all. He is not meant to engage in long combat, he’s probably just about never done it, and in that sense it’s normal that he actually doesn’t really know how.

Power level

… But as I said, combat prowess and power level are two different things, which can make answering the question of how strong someone like Neuvillette complicated. Because on the other hand, for his lack of combat experience and skill, his sheer power level is through the damn roof. Which of course makes sense. This is a Dragon Sovereign, now with his full power reforged, that we’re talking about here. Possibly the most powerful being we’ve met in Teyvat so far, and for sure at least one of them. 

For those who are caught up with Natlan’s Archon Quest, you know how Mavuika destroyed the wacky Abyssal thing and also punched a hole in the sky in the process? Well, she said later that the power with which she did it came from the Divine Throne. And an Archon’s Divine Throne is where the stolen Dragon Sovereign Authority is held. So in other words, Mavuika did what she did using a fragment of the power Neuvillette now holds in its entirety. So yes, I do in fact believe he can also punch a hole in the sky. I don't think he can completely destroy it, because it seems to restore itself, but also I think he wouldn't want to even if he could, since he has grown to care about and appreciate humanity, and he knows that the firmament protects it. 

But in addition to that, let's not forget that this guy:

Turned an entire nation of unfinished Oceanid people into fully fledged humans with a single Super Duper Charged Attack – doing in the process what Egeria was literally incapable of – and wasn’t even slightly tired afterwards

Hands out Visions because he decided he wants to, and unlike the Archons, has full control over the process

Has full control over Pneumousia, which is essentially a latent type of life force. Not only is he using it to singlehandedly battery all of Fontaine now, but also I mean. Combining them can lead to an annihilation reaction, so… idk I guess he can also make an atomic bomb if he wants??

Doesn’t even need a constellation because he exists outside of the fate system but then decided “ah whatever why not” and got one, then proceeded to?? reshape it I think?? so his daughters can have fun with it?? Peak dad behavior right there but also what the fu

Of course, there’s the whole part about how the Hydro Sovereign has full control over the Primordial Sea, which makes him essentially Teyvat’s original “God of Life”. I attribute his ability to turn Oceanids into true humans to that connection, as well as his control over Pneumousia, as, again, from what we know of it so far (which is not much but that’s a rant for later) it seems to be a sort of latent type of life energy. Of course, I can only imagine that he could do a LOT more with it than what we’ve seen. And on the topic of Oceanids, I’ve also noticed that he seems to hold authority over them as well, considering how easily he made them back down during Navia’s “trial”.

Basically what I’m trying to say here is that he’s freakin’ powerful and writing him in a way that avoids turning him into an ultra strong Gary Stu sort of guy can be a hell of a challenge sometimes lmao. I try to get around it with the idea that he has to load up Fontaine on a sufficient amount of power before he leaves and surely that has to weaken him at least a bit.

Fighting style, symbolism and other funky tidbits

As I mentioned earlier, Neuvillette doesn’t fight much, and when he does, he doesn’t really do much either. In fact, he actually literally barely moves. This includes his Normal Attack chain – not only is it among the shortest in the game with only three strikes (in comparison to characters well-versed in combat such as Wriothesley and Zhongli, whose chains consist of 5 and 6 strikes respectively), but also he practically doesn’t move from the spot he was standing on while performing it. Many characters will charge forwards or move backwards while attacking; Neuvillette takes about half a step. That’s it.

Other than that, there are four main characteristic to him in combat:

Cane

Glowing and expanding his… let’s call it fins

Floating

Triquetra

Neuvillette’s cane is the most interesting element of those to me, because it seems to be his actual catalyst. It’s interesting when you notice that he only summons his in-game weapon for his Normal Attack chain – which is, by a long shot, the most worthless part of his kit. For all his other, much more useful moves, he does not manifest it at all. He does, however, use or at least hold his cane for all of them, and the gem and blue ornaments on it glow as he does.

This applies to cutscenes, as well. When using a Charged Attack during a cutscene, he also holds his cane, summoning it specifically for that moment. It’s especially interesting in the cutscene where he and Childe fight the Narwhal, and the exact frame where he uses Equitable Judgment is the only moment in that entire cutscene where he holds his cane. He doesn’t have it immediately before or immediately after, and yet he went out of his way to summon it specifically for that attack – which leads me to believe that this cane is his real catalyst.

At the moment my idea for it is that in his human form, the Hydro Dragon is something of a staff user, and this cane is how he adapted its appearance to fit into Fontaine’s setting, much as he did with his own.

Glowing is another commonly seen aspect for Neuvillette in combat. When he uses his power, he glows. As a playable unit, he lights up when using his Burst and Equitable Judgment, as well as when his passive ability is fully charged up (so basically when he’s at max power). Notably, and I actually only recently noticed it, not only do the light blue elements on his outfit glow, but so do his eyes.

And again, the glowing is something the animators went out of their way to include in the cutscenes. When he takes down Childe in Fontaine AQ Act II, he lights up before leaping from his seat. In the All-Devouring Narwhal cutscene he also glows and surrounds himself with blue aura while attacking, and in addition, if we look closely, we can see his eyes glowing as he charges for his first strike. It’s an interesting small detail that’s very easy to miss – I only saw it properly while watching that cutscene in slow motion. In general, all of his attacks have a natural glow to them as well. Overall it gives him a sort of divine feel, which I consider to be the point.

For certain attacks, in particular Charged Attack: Equitable Judgment and his Burst, Neuvillette also expands his horns (at least that’s what I call them because I hate that we are never given a word for the thingies on his head) and his… I guess tail?? Whatever the case may be, he displays them when unleashing his power and promptly hides them immediately afterwards, as a bit of a reminder that his true form remains hidden to our eyes.

Then there’s the floating. I kind of don’t have much to say about this one, the ability to levitate seems to be a common one among Teyvat’s deities and other powerful entities. Local man is too cool to walk like a normal person. My only observation to it is that floating seems to come very naturally to him, as during all his attacks (minus the Normal Attack chain which as I said no one cares about) his feet very quickly and easily separate from the ground, as opposed to some other characters who we know can float but who still remain firmly grounded in combat. Again, it ties back to how he is not at all expressive or aggressive in his movements during battle, but rather intends to simply overwhelm his enemies with his sheer power and authority.

And finally we have the triquetra, aka the emblem he commonly uses. It’s the mark he summons for Equitable Judgment, as well as during cutscenes. Its meaning is largely symbolic.

This one is both extremely interesting and very funny to me because, well… IRL, triquetra has major religious significance in multiple cultures. It can mean many things and is used in various belief systems, including christianity, where it symbolizes none other than the Holy Trinity. Which is actually pretty accurate for Neuvillette considering his role in the story – the original creator and guardian of life, and the judge of all who condemns or pardons everyone’s sins.

The triquetra also flashes above his head when you switch to him in your party, and the intensity of the flash as well as the sound effect it makes when appearing become more intense with each stack of his passive. The more stacks he has, the more the sound resembles a church bell – also heard during his Elemental Burst, as well as the music for his trailer video, which overall sounds almost like a religious hymn (well. once you take out the dubstep moments lmao), complete with the organs, bells and a choir singing in Latin. It all plays into his symbolism of a divine judge, and in a way, it also shows that he very much implements trials into combat. He fights for justice, by bringing justice.

… But it’s also kind of hilarious considering Neuvillette also references the biblical Leviathan of all things, with his constellation named after it and his character introduction (he who looks down on all that are haughty) literally quoting the Bible. And the symbolism of him looking down on sinners is also very much visible in his media, with how often he is seen literally glaring down on people – between his art, his Elemental Burst, his and Clorinde’s teasers and many moments in the game’s story, he is very often shown deliberately from an angle that has him looking at others and judging them from above. He himself also comments on that, saying that this is part of what keeps him separated from those around him and unable to bond with and understand them.

How tf they put Jesus and the Leviathan into the same person and made it work is beyond me but it’s kind of amazing and honestly I love it.

List of currently known abilities

This is page 6 of this damn Google Doc so I’m gonna try to be brief here, but I wanted to also compile for myself the things we’ve seen Neuvillette do.

Full control over Hydro

Well, duh. In short, now that his power is fully restored, Neuvillette has full and complete control over the Hydro element. In lore, anyway, as this is where we have to implement separation between lore and gameplay (such as his ability to drown outside of Fontaine or inability to casually OHKO enemies by stopping their blood from flowing, just to name a few). In lore, his control over both regular water would be near absolute. Under this power is also where he categorizes his ability to turn Oceanids into true humans by granting them proper “blood”, so this is also where we put his potential power to create life, as his power over water includes the Primordial Sea – his connection to which he is now fully aware of now that his Authority is back. (This may be demonstrated by how the pattern inside Sourcewater Droplets kind of resembles DNA strands, symbolism also used by the boss enemy inside the body of Apep, another Dragon Sovereign.) Of course it also means that he is a fantastic swimmer, and can breathe underwater, both in and outside of Fontaine in lore.

Hydro resonance

Neuvillette is known to have extreme sensitivity to the Hydro element and the movements of water. Sigewinne states that he knew of the crisis in the Fortress before we ever told him due to sensing the waves when the water level rose, and during “The Wild Fairy of Erinnyes” we also learn that he was able to sense trouble at Loch Urania by resonating with water there (yes, Neuvillette is the “visitor” Pahsiv speaks of). He appears to be able to read the memories and information contained within water at will, even from a distance, allowing him to learn about trouble within his territory in an instant. This is also where we’d categorize his ability to taste emotions and impurities in water, distinguishing the history of what it had gone through by coming in contact with or drinking it.

Emotional resonance

One of Fontaine’s plot points is that water carries emotions, especially particularly strong ones, and by resonating with water, Neuvillette can read them and search for extra information that way. This one gives him trouble, however, as between literally sensing the emotions of all of Fontaine at once, and his own limited understanding of emotions, it’s very overwhelming for him to do, leaving him rather shaken afterwards. For that reason he doesn’t do it more than necessary and deliberately suppresses it on a daily basis. He can also sense the emotions of others just in general, as mentioned in both his and Arlecchino’s character stories, but with emotions being fickle things that he doesn’t really understand, it’s more than possible to mislead him, as both Vautrin and Arlecchino successfully hide the truth of their emotional state from him.

Causing rain

Not gonna yap about this here because I already have.

Control over Pneumousia

This one makes me rage because of how woefully underdeveloped it is and the way it’s literally mentioned in one sentence just to go “oh yeah Fontaine’s energy crisis is solved now” and never brought up again, but. Yeah. I’ve mentioned it earlier already, but Neuvillette has control over Pneumousia now that his Authority is fully restored, allowing him to serve as Fontaine’s current power source. Again, lore and gameplay separation, because it should probably also technically mean that he could avoid fighting rogue Gardemeks by just turning them off, but it is what it is.

Distribution of Hydro Visions

I know some people (including characters in the game) have wondered whether Visions are distributed by the governor of a nation or of an element. With Neuvillette now granting Visions, I consider the latter to be officially the case, because I don’t see how he would hand out Visions other than Hydro. In any case, yeah. He is now the one giving out Hydro Visions, having chosen to do so out of respect for humans, with the first Vision we’ve seen him grant going to Furina – characterized by allowing her to control both Pneuma and Ousia, and by the little claws seen on it, proving that it was given by a dragon. I consider his criteria for granting someone a Vision to be fairly similar to the Archons, where someone’s wish or ambition has to reach his Throne in a way that inspires him to respond, with the main difference being that he is aware and in control of the process. I like that his character story compares this to a dragon’s treasure hoard, except you don’t need to steal anything from him – you receive a reward just for reaching him.

Creating seals and barriers

We’ve seen him do it twice, because in my personal headcanon, the seal he created at the bottom of the Fortress and the shield he attempted to use against the Narwhal are more or less the same type of power, and the ease with which the whale shattered his barrier is something of a display of just how powerful that thing had become by absorbing the power of the Primordial Sea. But yeah, not much more to say here, he knows Protect.

Teleportation

… And he also apparently knows Teleport. We’ve only seen him do it once, in the Narwhal cutscene, where really he could have just jumped off, but he warped to I guess look cool. We know nothing more about this ability of his, in my personal headcanon I imagine he only warps across short distances when necessary and on a daily basis prefers to swim or walk.

The part where he did Something to his own constellation

idk what to put here lmao. Look. He is a god who exists outside of the Heavenly Principles’ rules and basically does as he pleases because Screw Those Guys. He doesn’t even need a constellation, due to being free of Celestia’s system of fate, which the fake sky’s stars are being used to control. But since he found his calling, “the skies had left a special, ennobled place for him”, with his constellation actually being a reflection of his own image, the same as the Traveler and the Archons. And then the guy went and either reshaped it or made himself a fake one?? Because a constellation reflecting its owner’s visage can’t be used to read their fortune in astrological charts (something we know from Mona) and some Melusines are into that. Again, as I said earlier, peak dad behavior but also What.

—

I think – and sincerely hope – that I talked about everything I wanted to and didn’t forget anything. Surely 8 Google Doc pages are enough yapping.

If you made it to the end, congrats and I’m sorry (but also not really) for being insane.

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Being the eldest kid is tough. Being the eldest kid of 10-14 ish kids? That's on a whole 'nother level baybee~

Do you know how stressful holidays are????

[biillys]

hi au where billy and max are child stars

neil auditioning billy for a (soon-to-be) beloved family sitcom as a baby, very mary-kate and ashley vibes, maybe billy getting the role for being the only baby not to cry during the auditions, and then putting him to work from basically day dot.

his mom doing her best to run interference and make sure he gets treated right, only letting him be on set for a few hours a week and making sure either herself or neil is always with him, but the older he grows and the more screen time he gets, the more the show runners and neil try and weasel their way for more time with him.

him turning five and the show airing it's fourth season, his parents marriage being over. his mom handing neil the divorce papers and walking out, then dipping her hand into his earnings (that neil has tied up in his own name) to try and buy them a future, trying to get full custody.

the divorce being messy and drawn out and public, neil having made her out to be the villain, the fans and magazines tearing her to shreds and writing headlines trying to shame her, saying she's a heartless bitch for trying to end her own child's career just as it's starting to take off.

billy getting caught in the middle, the separation and custody battle drawing out for years, him struggling to handle the fall out of his home life coming apart at the same time as the sitcom he grew up on comes to an end.

his life being a fucking mess by the time he turns eight.

having a little bit of free time then, technically being jobless. starting to explore other hobbies and interests now that he has some time and getting more into music and sports, begging for a guitar and a surfboard for his birthday, asking neil if he can join little league.

neil promising him one better, and instead, getting him auditions for disney, telling him the only thing better than playing the guitar, is playing the guitar for disney.

turning ten and being a series regular on an already airing disney show, but the execs and directors being so impressed by him that there's talks of him getting his own show.

part of him being excited, proud, but a bigger part of him being terrified.

being so scared to tell his mom cos he knows she'll cry. she used to run her fingers through his hair to lull him to sleep, hug him close and whisper about how she never wanted this life for him, how she's so sorry.

it becoming official and him getting his own show on disney.

him getting the news exactly one week after his mom walks out for good, his dad having finally won full custody, no visitation allowed.

him feeling sick to his stomach. he never thought she'd actually leave.

he never even got to tell her his news.

it not taking long for the shine of having his own show to wear off, the few things he was excited about starting to become a hassle.

starting to resent it.

hating it.

hating the lights and the cameras and the scripts and the running lines. the early mornings and the make up and the flights and the night shoots and the interviews and the press. hating the way he's always surrounded by adults, never having had an actual friend his own age in his entire life. that all the other kids he knows are pitted to him like rivals, there being always talk about ratings and viewers and timeslots. him not knowing what a friend without it being tied up in publicity and pr.

hating the fact that he has a sister on the show, but his dad and her mom end up getting close, and suddenly he's getting a step-sister in real life.

hating the way max only has to film for x amount of hours a day because she's a kid, but he has to film for longer, and thats on top of everything else he's gotta do, very miley cyrus sharing her schedule during her hannah montana years vibes.

him becoming a household name in his younger years from the sitcom, but disney cementing his fame, him being known by what feels like the entire world by the time he's in his teens.

growing up and getting into shit, experimenting with drugs and alcohol and sex, trying to find any and every escape he can. him and max always being on the outs in private, but being the picture perfect family in public.

neil being a controlling fucker, a true momager, has kris jenner on speed dial.

rebelling in every way he can, not giving a fuck what stories or pictures of him get leaked anymore, the press and public turning against him as he gets older.

his show ending and him expecting to finally feel free, except just becos the shows over, doesn't mean anything else is. suddenly the pressure starts feeling heavier, everyone asking him what he's got lined up next, if he's gonna straighten himself out, if he's gonna finally take his career seriously.

neil riding him, telling him to forget about whatever he wants to do, and do what he tells him to do instead. him having various commitments and auditions lined up for billy already, and billy being ready to end it all.

emancipating himself at age seventeen, cutting off contact with everyone.

going off the rails and living his worst life. catching the headlines and updates of maxine mayfield: now managed by neil hargrove, and shoving down the urge to call her and tell her to run, knows she won't listen to a thing he says any way. he was nothing but an asshole and a spoilt brat no good fuck up in her eyes anyway, neil making sure they never got close.

doing his best to go down the music route, feeling physically ill at the thought of acting again, but thinking maybe music could be the answer. he always liked it better. felt more comfortable with a guitar in his hands or a piano under his fingers than cameras and lights in his face.

the music industry being just as harsh and ruthless as the entertainment industry, him not getting taken seriously by anyone he needs to be taken seriously by, everyones expectations of him being so fucking high that he knows he'll never be able to meet them.

deciding he doesn't give a fuck about anything anymore, his life's never been his own to control or have any say over anyway. signing a five year contract with a well-known label, not writing a single song of his own or playing a single instrument aside from when they want him to trot out an acoustic set, and instead singing words richer people than him wrote and performing show after show after show, flying from country to country to country, barely fucking existing. the songs becoming chart toppers, like they were written to be, and selling out stadiums.

hitting rock bottom.

getting a wake up call from max of all people, her ringing to check he's still alive. him pulling the phone away to check this is an actual call and not a hallucination. putting the phone back up to his ear, asking why she's calling.

her saying happy birthday and billy realising he's turning twenty today.

them sitting in silence for a while before max finally cracks.

her telling him his dad's an asshole. billy laughing. no shit.

them hanging up, but max calling again, a month later, then again, a few weeks after that.

billy being hungover as fuck and having no idea what country he's in, but max is in a new movie, out in cinemas now, and it's a serious drama, it's fucking emmy nominated, so he calls the front desk of whatever hotel he's staying at and asks for directions to the closest cinema and before he knows it, he's going incognito, hoodie on, and watching her on the big screen, and she's so much better at acting than he ever was.

neil must be so goddamn pleased with himself.

too bad max sounds completely miserable everytime they talk on the phone.

he calls her instead of her calling him for the first time, opening the conversation with saw your movie, how much fucking overtime did you get for all those night-shoots?

before or after your dad took his cut?

billy laughs. he can't remember the last time he laughed.

ANYWAY. i was listening to robot by miley cyrus on repeat and!!!! child stars au!!!! them both being worked to the bone!!! hating each other becos they barely know each other cos they barely know themselves!!!! getting through their childhoods battered and bruised, billy coming out the other side first, max finally catching up to him a few years later. them both, one by one, cutting their parents out!!!! max taking the big screen by storm when she grows up, neil frothing at the mouth that he can't touch her money when she cuts him out!!!! billy never signing another contract again after his record deal ends, disappearing off the face off the earth!!!! slight the lucky one by tswift vibes!!!! idk!!!!!

[sysig]

Dr. “Has to get a good grade in therapy” Doran (Patreon)