#these two are always on my mind these days lol
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HOW THE MOON SIGNS ACT WHEN THEY LOVE YOU pt. 1
disclaimer: forgive me if the series doesn’t cover all twelve signs, but i don’t think i’ve known enough people to speak about everyone’s way of loving. please be patient🤗
aries moon/1H
ooooh those little devils🔥😈 you can see the mischievous twinkle in their eyes. they’re children of Ares - the god of war! when they speak of their loved ones it feels as though they’re ready to kill for them any minute, only waiting for the right (or any😂) reason.
(just my observation, please don’t come at me) i believe that these natives are prone to being more loyal, less selfish and flaky than aries venus. aries is known to be 'the baby' of the zodiac, valuing independence and self-fulfilment greatly. however, i’ve noticed aries moons to be devoted af!! you will never catch them bad mouthing a friend or a partner.
also, from my experience, both placements like to fight, however aries venus often does it for own enjoyment, the initial chase turns them on. as for aries moons, they’re more steady. they would go to great lengths for friends and partners. you can call them in the middle of the night and ask the craziest favor, they WILL come and help.
(please keep in mind that i mean unevolved aries venuses that still have a lesson or two to learn!)
PS. they love to be treated like the center of your world, please give them attention💕
taurus moon/2H
hmmmm how do i put it… 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍! i will say that i am biased bc my boyfriend is one and the way he’s attentive, always asks about the details of my day, pays attention to my routines and shows love through acts of service🥹 you’ve probably heard the rumours and they’re true. taurus moons make the best cooks ever. and i don’t mean putting together a couple of cheap pancakes, nuh uh. their sharp senses only let them buy the best quality ingredients and cook with great care. bonus points if they prepare a dish that they know is your favourite!
i will say though, they are not the most verbal lovers. but when they’re in, they mean it. when they say they love you, it becomes a fact so obvious that they don’t feel the need to repeat it over and over. they like to settle into a routine, so don’t expect them to be flaky, send mixed signals and stir things up just to feel something/for fun (sag moons cough cough😅😅).
they also seem brutal sometimes. but i believe it’s because they see honesty as the highest form of trust. they want to feel comfortable with you. they value silence, too. they’re the type to show you their appreciation not by telling you how perfect you are but by actually putting in the work to show you your value and show that they’re worthy of being by your side.
lastly, their homes are their sanctuaries, a reflection of their feelings. usually beautiful and they look for someone worthy of letting in, to match their belongings. they get a rep for being possessive and stubborn, nevertheless with the right person they can make a sacrifice and at least try to change their ways😂😂
virgo moon/6H
okay so i know they’re said to be critical, demanding, neurotic etc but hear me out. virgo is a mutable sign, ruled by mercury and in true mutable fashion they DO get wild, fun and unhinged lol. as a virgo moon myself i am well aware of the fact that i often act like i’ve got a stick up my ass. but when i get closer to you i want it all: karaoke nights, fast car rides, spontaneous trips! sometimes i even take those things to the extreme!
they’re also said to have the highest standards. and while i imagine it’s partly true, i believe that this placement is all about accepting the biggest, weirdest quirks of your s/o (as well as 6th house synastry!).
besides, i think that we get more so insecure and self-critical in relationships, analyzing the f outta our partners, wondering whether we’re meeting their demands! we’re about the overall quality of the partnership and just want it to be perfect🥺 we’re also quite anxious and require lots of reassurance.
lastly, everyone knows it: virgo moons are like the final boss of small acts of service lol. vacuuming your flat, folding your clothes. they notice the smallest things that could improve your life and happily do them for you!
capricorn moon/10H
this one is tricky. they remind me a bit of taurus but more rough in a sense that they probably won’t pamper you with luxurious baths and gourmet food but they will do things like pay your rent, get you a job or buy a car😂. i’ve noticed them to be a bit grumpy sometimes, definitely not the softest lovers.
they’re up to giving some tough love. pushing you into a scary path that they know will be rewarding in the end. teaching you that even in the hardest lessons of saturn there is light. they’re not the most cheerful on a daily basis but - surprisingly- they are the ones that keep calm in the face of crises. they’re like okay we can’t do anything about it now let’s appreciate what we do have and focus on what we can change.
it’s because they know all to well how karma is. they had to learn it the hard way which made them so strong and resilient.
what i’ve personally noticed: they will stick by your side no. matter. what. this isn’t always a good thing as sometimes it’s best to walk away but if you’re expecting a cap moon to give up on you, don’t.
i also feel like they’re used to being the oldest sibling, the mom friend etc. please take care of them from time to time!
that is all i have for you! thank you for reading💕 i wish all of you lots and lots of love💋 see ya
~Michelle
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(Not a request dw) (So, about the two KO fics I was talking about earlier. I think I'm just gonna do the post-time skip one. The other one where Knock Out's human gets moved outta town, and has a few close calls isn't itching my brain good enough right now. I might have to let that one cook for a bit. lol.)
Re: Bumblebee rescuing Knock Out's human after they escape his game at the trainyard.
Once every other week, Bumblebee picks up his Little Pal for their typical hang out session at the Autobot Base. As they are wont to do, they spend the trip there excitedly chatting about what they're planning on doing together once they arrive. "What to do, what to do… … -Maybe a dance party?
"Hhhmmmm… No, that'd get too loud. Ratchet hates when we play music too loud. Or dance. Peepaw Ratch needs it relatively quiet in order to do his work. Haha. He could always use a break!"
"It doesn't have to -bee -loud music. We could -just have - regular music playing while we -hang out." Bee pleads through his spirit box speech, and his Little Pal finds that his bright blue, puppy dog eyes are hard to resist.
"Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhh… True. But we'd probably do that anyways. Haha. Maybe we could play video games? There's this one I found that I think you'll like. It's a racing game with weird tracks, gliding sections, customizable cars, and some killer music!" Bee lets out a string of excitable chirps before he tunes back into his alt form's radio.
"-Crowd cheering sfx- -Sounds great! When do we start?"
"Oh, just after we get to the base, and say hi to everybody. It's been, what, like, a month since last time? It's only polite, after-!!" They freeze mid-sentence like a deer in headlights at the sight of a familiar crimson mech. Of course he was real, they knew he was real. They'd only gotten repeated confirmation from everyone else they'd met that night. And every day since then, when they'd asked.
But. To see him again. To know for a fact that this particular mechanical alien that haunts their bizarre, blurry nightmares actually exists. That Knock Out actually exists, and is here. He's. He's here, and is planning on finally getting his talons on them once and for all! And-
They shake their head hard to dislodge their panic, and shuffle a little lower in Bumblebee's servos to hide themselves from Knock Out's line of sight. Bumblebee looks down at the human shaking like a twig in his servos, and tilts his helm. What's with the shaking? Why'd they pull his digits up, and around themselves like that? Who could they possibly be afraid of here? …-Wait a minute. Of course.
Bumblebee would recognize the tell-tale click of those pedes anywhere.
"Well well well~! There's no need to stop the party on my account. Do you mind if I get a closer look at this new visitor of ours, Bumblebee?" Knock Out purrs as he draws closer, evidently more interested in the human huddling in the scout's servos than maintaining optic-contact with him.
"No can do, man! -They're -Off the menu! -There's no need -to play coy about your -obsession with them -anyways." Bumblebee growls, annoyed that the supposedly reformed Decepticon would even try to get at the poor human again. Especially right after he'd Just helped them get confident enough around Cybertronians to have a good time hanging out around the base!
This doesn't happen with any other human who happens by the base, by the way. Knock Out is loathe to even think about touching humans, typically. Something about "having taste", and a "refined palette" apparently. Whatever that means. But with BB's Little Pal? He's practically obsessed!
Now, he's fixated on them for a while, sure. But being this obvious about his desire to get his servos on them after he's joined the Autobots is new. New, and concerning.
"Oh fine. If you don't want to run the risk of your -eugh- "Little Pal" getting stolen away by the Big Bad Ex-Con, then why don't we all just sit down somewhere and have a nice, long chat, hhmmm? It'd be nice to catch up with each other after So long, wouldn't it?" Knock Out aims the latter question towards the human in Bumblebee's servos attempting to get a rise out of them, if nothing else.
The human clears their throat, and sits up a little to speak. They don't like the way he's talking to/about them, and they've decided that he's going to hear about it. "You know? I'm not feeling particularly chatty today, but maybe we can have this conversation some other day… … … Ah, what was your name again?"
Knock Out lights up at the sound of their voice, despite being a little put out by their refusal to remember his name. It's only been a few months since they'd been swept up in all of this, and they're already So comfortable talking to him like this. How… Cute.
Though, he really only has to take a step closer to shut his Little Runaway up. A quiet growl arises in his chassis, and he laughs- he Has to. The audacity of this human. If only he'd captured them back at the trainyard, they would have Long since lost the ability to sass him like this. How lucky this Squishy little Mouse must consider themselves- Ahem.
"Oh? Have you truly forgotten about me already? And here I thought our fateful encounter that night would've seared itself into your processor for good, lest you find yourself wandering alone at night the way you had been when I found you." At his human's lack of a pronounced fear reaction, he decides to press on with his little speech. He really shouldn't have to reintroduce himself, the human memory isn't that fallible, is it? He may have to remedy that, personally, if it is.
"I mean, we could have gotten to know each other better back then if only you'd stuck around to socialize. Ah, but I suppose you were a little too focused on winning to think about that now weren't you?" Knock Out's attempt to remain casual about how he lost a game he'd rigged so thoroughly in his favor, fails, and bitterness colors his tone.
Nonetheless, he takes another step closer, and reaches out a servo to lean on a nearby wall. Attempting to get a better view of the little one that got away. Bumblebee, in return, readjusts his grip on his Little Pal to block Knock Out's view even further, and quickly strides around the mad doctor before the human could reply to Knock Out's irritable rant.
Primus, how he loathes the effect Knock Out has on them. The way they're shaking right now, breathing unsteadily, and trying to bury themselves deeper into his servos than they could feasibly go. It sucks! They shouldn't have to put up with him! They've already won his game. They've already gotten away! What does he have to gain by terrifying them like this?!
-Whatever. It doesn't matter. He's going to put as much distance between Knock Out, and his Little Pal as possible. No matter what. "Nope. No way. Not gonna happen. -Optimis- won't be happy to hear about this." He keeps his pace steady to avoid shaking his Little Pal around as he goes, but that only allows the crimson mech to catch up sooner. KO's less than casual stride lets him overtake the scout, and pivot around to face him.
"And he doesn't need to. It isn't like I could do anything to them what with everyone keeping such a close optic on me, anyways." If Bumblebee could look less amused about the current situation, he would.
"You aren't helping your case here, -Knockout! -And besides, if they wanted to talk to you -to see you, -they would've approached you first. -The way they approach me. -There'd be no need for you to try, and corner them like this -at all." Bumblebee flexes what he's come to learn about his Little Pal over time, hoping to get under KO's armor. Weaponizing their well-earned faith in him to prove how easy it is to befriend humans if you don't terrorize them.
No amount of false platitudes from an ex-con is gonna charm him into putting his Little Pal into harm's way. Especially with how often Knock Out looks like a ravenous, starved even, Predacon whenever he catches sight of them. Let alone how he acts after catching a whiff of their fear, eugh. Some things never change, huh? Not even after KO became an Autob-"
Bumblebee feels the human shift in his servos, and only has time enough to look down at them before they pipe up with their trademark sass. "Hey you! Knock Out! Why do you still follow me around anyways, huh? You lost then, you keep losing now, and for what? A snack? Why don't you get a life, and go polish your paint job, or something. It's starting to get sad."
The pair of Cybertronians balk at the human's acerbic comment before Knock Out growls loudly, and makes a grab for them. How dare they speak to him like that! Especially when he could just-... Hold on. Knock Out retracts his reaching servo just in time for heavy footsteps, and rumbling laughter to echo from up the hall. It seems they aren't alone any more.
"Hah! Ohhhh you may need to stop by the Med Bay after this, Doc Knock. Pally got you pretty bad with that one!" Bulkhead pulls up next to the bickering mechs, and pats KO on the shoulder as if to comfort him about getting roasted.
"Yes! Well, to answer your question, Fleshy. I am nothing if not consistent regarding how I choose to spend my time. Now if you'll excuse me." Knock Out brushes Bulkhead's servo off of his shoulder, dusts himself off, and stalks off to the Med Bay. Likely to buff out the cracks the human made in his ego... And the ones Bulkhead made in his shoulder.
He doesn't get to far down the hallway before the human responds with one last grumpily, half-muttered insult. "Yeah... You're consistent alright. A consistent pain in my ass."
Knock Out had turned back to watch them as they spoke, and Oh how he wished he could wipe that look off of their face! They don't even look pleased with themselves about that insult either! It seems comments like those come naturally to them now. Ugh. He stomps off to the Med Bay for real this time, chased away by the sound of the Autobot duo's laughter, and begins to see to his paint job once more. Ignoring Ratchet's judgemental, but silent sidelong glance at him.
That human. His human. Has grown So comfortable around Cybertronians that they feel as though they can talk back to him whenever they damn well please. Why, he'd almost be impressed by their boldness, if it wasn't directed at him. Though he is aware that most of their bravado comes from the support they'd received from their new found allies. Maybe he should've taken that game of his seriously, after all.
-Not a Request Anon
Holy shit dude, this is awesome! It’s like a story within itself! You should totally write a full length fic about this if you’d like to!! You’ve written out the relationship between Knockout and the reader so well with the former’s “redemption” into the Autobot ranks! God, I love the way Bumblebee protects the reader and constantly defends them. It’s like he knows the trust this little human has in Cybertronians, no matter how established, is still very fragile, and there’s no way he’s going to let Knockout ruin the friendship he’s forged with his Little Pal! And AUGH, Knockout still referring to the human as his, even after all that’s happened, it’s so him!!!
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I haven’t been able to put my own socks on my feet in literal years. My stomache was ALWYAS in the way and as a 31F, it’s been HELLA embarrassing. My hubs doesn’t mind helping me. But I still always felt disappointed and embarrassed about it.
But today I was able to put sock on my own two feet for the first time in at least four years. I still definitely have a belly to get in the way, but it wasn’t a total struggle today!
The next NSV for me if being able to tie my shoes. lol. I’ve been wearing slip on sneakers and shoes for just as long too. I cannot remember the last time I didn’t need assistance to do these things. I was googling sock helps three months ago before I got on this journey 🫠🫠🫠
I still have a little more than 100 pounds to my GW, and I’m definitely losing weight! So small victory today!
i started this journey back in october of this year weighing 232.2 pounds (idk what this is in kilos, please inform me lol)
two days ago i weighed in at 227.0. while its not a *significant* amount ofweight loss, im just ECSTATIC at seeignt eh scale going down at all lol. i can also fit in a 2x shirt in mens. it's a bit snug, but its not unbearable at all.
i'm still earning protien goals and cardio things. THE FOOD NOISE IS GONE???? LIKE??? its still strange to me. lol
oh, idk if i mentioend, i moved my shot day from thursday to wednesday. after this box is finsihed, think doctor will up my dose. excited for that!
until next time!
Caplan <3
life's updates.
my doctor prescribed me Zepbound last week. I take my second dosage tomorrow. havent had any major side effects... except the food noise is SILENT.'
i havent been thinking about food at ALL this week. it's so strange, considering im always snacking or eating food. but i've had ENOUGH of being fat and not being able to walk around my street.
i want to be fit, and I want to be able to breathe, I dont want to be in pain anymore. I'm able to sit and stand for long periods of time, i've noticed. I don't want to buy shoes every other month because my feet and weight are flattening my insoles so quickly.
Starting this journey, i am currently 232.2 pounds. (as of October 17, 2024.)
I took my first dose this past Thursday and the appetite suppression was immediate for the first two or so days. The “food noise” in my head is GONE. I’ve had a couple headaches and some gas/burps/acid reflux.
I don’t see any changes yet (not surprising, honestly.)
Precovid I weighed 165 pounds. But a LOT of traumatic and emotional things have happened to me around 2018-2019 and I gained ALOT of weight up until this year.
I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. I’m a severely emotional eater and my hubs knows this. But almost within the hour of me taking my first dose, the food noise in my brain stopped. I don’t travel to my kitchen for snacks every half hour. I don’t find myself thinking of food nearly as often as I did this time last week.
Besides the acid reflux and constipation, I don’t have major symptoms yet.
Pre Covid I weighed around 165. I’m now 245. I’ve gained almost 100 pounds from 2019 to now. I know the weight isn’t as severe as a lot of other folks on here. But I was a SMALL child/teen/young adult. Before 2018, my heaviest was 140.
Idk what I’m rambling about. Just nervous for my second shot tomorrow.
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I love sprinkling a little toxic yaoi into House's life
#fallout#fallout new vegas#fnv#mr. house#robert house#mr. house fallout#fallout oc#dick marlow#my art#these two are always on my mind these days lol#trying to doodle my creative spark back#top 10 most cringe bastards ever#sorry to the courier for getting stuck between their 200 year old drama
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i got this ask on my strawpage and was gonna type it up in my notes app and post it to twitter, but i really couldn't figure out a way to say it concisely, so i'm answering it here bc it's prob gonna be long lol.
do i think stancest is actually canon? simply put, no. despite how often i'm like "STANCEST IS CANON!!" i truly don't think that AH and the writers intended stan & ford's relationship to be seen through an incestuous lens.
their relationship is def the heart of the show, second only to dipper & mabel's own bond. they are the center of each other's worlds, their story & character arcs revolve almost entirely around each other, and their happy ending is literally the two of them sailing off into the sunset to spend "the rest of their days" together (ford says this almost word-for-word in journal 3).
but i still don't think all of that was meant to be taken romantically.
in my opinion, where things start to get a little weird is, surprisingly enough, ford's relationship with bill.
the rest is under a cut bc HOLY SHIT this got longer than i expected.
there's no denying that bill was written to deliberately parallel stan in a number of ways, from his mannerisms, to his conman status, to the fact that he calls ford the same name stan did when they were kids.
he's written in a very intentional way that makes him serve as both stan's parallel and his foil, especially in their respective relationships to ford (bill feeds into ford's ego and encourages him to aspire for greatness alone, stan has always been a direct obstacle & challenge to ford's ego, accidentally ruining his chances at WCT & encouraging him to live out their childhood dream together; bill valued infinite power over his own family and destroyed his dimension as a result, stan valued his family over everything, and saved ford and his dimension as a result).
normally, this wouldn't be that big of a deal to a stancest shipper like myself. but as the book of bill & the accompanying website all but confirmed in big, flashing neon lights, ford & bill have a romantic history and are exes.
having the two people closest to ford be compared to one another is one thing. having ford be drawn to bill because of how similar he is to the brother he secretly misses is one thing.
having ford be romantically involved with said character is what makes me raise an eyebrow lol.
again, do i think ford is literally a brocon who's got repressed sexual/romantic feelings for stan?
no.
i do, however, think he has unresolved Brother Issues that led him to subconsciously find comfort in a romantic partner that reminded him of stan (right down to bill calling him stan's nickname for him) in much the same way a person with "daddy issues" may seek out affection & intimacy from someone who reminds them of their father (or is just "fatherly" in general).
that much, i believe, was actually intentional. it's just too blatant to not be lol. it'd be a completely different story if either
bill & stan were nothing alike (untrue) or
ford & bill's relationship was strictly platonic and didn't have any romantic implications (also untrue)
i've said this before, but this isn't just a case of "oh, ford fell in love with someone who just coincidentally reminds him of his brother." bill's use of the nickname "sixer" during their first encounter was a deliberate attempt at appealing to a part of ford that was repressed, vulnerable, and aching, in order to get ford's guard down and make it easier for ford to trust him, and it worked.
billford is a ship that, to put it bluntly, would not exist without ford's buried feelings for stan, even disregarding shipping/incest/etc. ford's desire to be close to stan even platonically is what allowed bill to needle his way into ford's heart in the first place.
and all of this wouldn't be that weird if, again, bill hadn't continued to feed into ford's longing for stan even after they'd established a romantic relationship, by still calling him "sixer" and trying to permanently sever the relationship he had with stan specifically, once he and ford broke up (the phone call he tried to make while in ford's body that was described in tbob).
to put it another way, imagine if wendy was basically an older, taller mabel, or if any of mabel's crushes were eerily similar to dipper. people in the fandom would def take notice and view it as a little strange. so i don't get how people can look at ford dating someone so blatantly and intentionally similar to stan and think to themselves "ah yes, this is normal. ford is completely Normal and definitely doesn't have any underlying issues whatsoever" lmao
to conclude: no, i don't think ford & stan's relationship is actually canonically romantic, nor do i think ford falling in love with bill was incestuous, necessarily.
but i do think that he had a desperate longing to reconcile with stan buried DEEEEEEP down, and it manifested itself in the form of being attracted to bill, which is probably why he never bothered correcting bill's use of the nickname "sixer" since their very first meeting, or ever expressed that it made him uncomfortable.
#stancest#at the end of the day i will always ship stancest romantically and sexually in my mind lol#but no i don't think that's *ACTUALLY* what the writers were going for lbr here#they're two emotionally stunted losers who needed each other more than anything in the world and couldnt express it#not tagging the other ship bc i don't need normies sending me death threats lol#DAMN THIS WAS LONG SORRY
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even at this point in the story and with the romance well and truly confirmed it's very possible that lucanis has never seen even a sliver of rye's naked skin below the throat. very likely no one on the team has yet except possibly emmrich if rye got hurt in battle and needed help patching it up. high-necked watcher garb with gloves and all stay ON at all times. thank god for rye's sake that lucanis' history of romantic interest indicates that surprise bitch he could be kind of into that fhsdkjfas
#I'm a cool laid-back relaxed punk rock sort of leader and also person rook says during the solas regret study group meetings#sitting there with their meticulously gloved hands tightly balled into fists against the arms of their chair fhdsjkfhas#I think most of them know him well enough by now to realize exactly how full of shit he is about that tho lol#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#Lucanis Dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#this is very much a two-way slow burn situation hahaha at least rye gets to gaze at lucanis' bare forearms during meetings#lucanis has to settle for having Feelings whenever he sees rye with their hair down#or the very rare and precious times they'll take their gloves off for a moment#(I don't get the sense that he minds)#one of my first ideas for their relationship even back before I even decided I was going to do the romance#was rook anxiously fussing over their clothes the day they were going back to the necropolis for the first time while lucanis looked on#in quiet bemusement as he realized he'd never seen rook be openly *nervous* before. 'are my robes... does this look...'#lucanis in the elevator down to the necropolis depths trying not to look at all the walking skeletons#and with the patience of a man who once waited four hours in the market for illario to try on gloves: 'your robes are flawless#(on this the third time you asked as well). do not worry about it. was that. was that a floating skull we just passed by'#'ah yes! professor korevel tends to have his morning walks for contemplation around this time between grading papers'#'...without legs?'/'he always said those just got in the way most of the time'#and rye finally admitting '...it's been a while since I was home'#and in that moment a common understanding dawning. 'ah. I -- think I understand the feeling'/'yeah...'#and basically the rest is history lol
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Listen I’m all for more trans and otherwise gender divergent characters in dc comics but Kon didn’t want people to call him Superboy because he viewed himself as SuperMAN. He wanted agency and control over his own life through the means of emancipation from the authorities attempting to control him and his growth was learning to both allow himself to be a kid and to mature mentally.
#gnc Kon always felt a bit odd to me as an interpretation like I think Kon low key that Dude Guy that’s almost the friend groups token#straight but is actually a confused bisexual#lol I love him dearly#anyway if I’m gonna campaign for any of the Young Just Us crew to be GNC Bart is top of my list that boy is an any pronouns speedster and#you can’t change my mind#anyway ideal storyline for Kon for me would be he and Tim both figure out new identities Kon admits he wants to make out with Tim#Tim has a crisis about liking both Bernard and Kon before realizing he had two hands and they all end up in a very happy thruple#because I’m timkon trash to the ends of my days but also dc shouldn’t hire me because Kon deserves his own solo ongoing again#mine#conner kent#not me going off in the tags#Kon el
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ahhhhhhhh guess who made the mistake of getting a haircut
#i was planning on growing it out for real i swear#but then the back of my hair got to that length (like it always does) where it starts touching the back of my neck wrong and i cant stand it#so i figured I'd juuuuuust get a trim maybe only the back so it wouldn't keep bugging me#and it started off pretty good too she was doing well with everything and i liked the way it looked#then she asked me a question with two options. and i answered the question. and she repeated my answer. good enough right?#well i think she maaaay have forgotten my answer in the span of like 2 seconds bc she started cutting SUPER short suddenly#and now my perm is completely gone lol#i think she's used to going a bit shorter so it looks good in like a week when it's grown out a bit#and you don't have to go back for a haircut every 2 weeks#but like. i would rather not hate my reflection (more than usual) for a week or two while it grows out yknow#eurghhhh it's not that bad tbh ive had haircuts where i wanted to kill myself and this is just 'hmm maybe i should wear a hat for a week'#but still. very annoying. and especially so bc i was actually feeling optimistic with where we were going at the start#anyway there's this weird phenomenon that keeps happening where I accidentally get my hair cut too short#then i decide this is going to be the time i finally grow my hair out for real#and after a while the back reaches that length where it starts bothering me again#and ill get a haircut juuust for a trim#then i somehow end up with a bowlcut#it's an emo bowlcut to be clear. so im not super hung up about it bc i still love that haircut for reasons i cannot comprehend#but everybody else seems to go 'ew a bowlcut why' except for the alt queers who go 'omg gender'#which i consider to be one of the biggest compliments i could ever get. and have gotten. seriously that moment will never leave my mind#like having someone that you consider Gender to look at you and say *you're* very gender? my crops have been watered my cattle have been fed#etc etc. anyway this currently has the shape of a bowl cut but it's too short esp on top#so im back in my 'okay im gonna grow it our FOR REAL this time' phase again. as it goes. like fucking sisyphus.#anyway. im gonna be tearing it up in the pit at origami angel tomorrow so if anybody's also going feel free to join me there#just gotta let off some steam. goddammit i knew i should have gone the queer route and just done it myself. in my defense i still had a perm#and i didn't trust myself to cut curly hair. turns out i shouldn't have trusted the barber either bc she just held it straight out#and chopped right across. and soon the curls were gone and everything was straight. ...that sounds like a metaphor for conversion therapy#'yeah just head into that place by the time you leave you'll be straight'#anyway. sorry for the waterfall of tags if ur still here kudos to you and may you have a wonderful day#mine
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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee
#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time#and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again#have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind#ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her#that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right#to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel#that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week#and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes#'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like#i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying#a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again#because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it#i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour#pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA
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New dream OCs drop (Patreon)
#Doodles#Dream Log#Original#Been a while! I always appreciate when my subconscious mind drops non-human humanoids on me lol#This case is was an older gay couple of like? they looked pretty normal generally but they had a specific feature lol#That when they blushed rather than their skin changing colour their fur would fluff out over their whole body haha#It was very fast! Kinda like Mystique's scale-fur? But only with blushing and then when they calmed down their fur would retract haha#One of the couple was way easier to fluster than the other tho haha so I really only saw it on him#I get the feeling it was also kind of GOmens inspired - specifically Aziraphale which is still so weird to me because I haven't seen??#Or read anything GOmens?? Why brain#Smol was picking on me the other day while we were making Picrews together that I was basically just making a Crowley as well like damn!#Brain why#Anyway lol#These two had that very settled-in married feel of lightly picking on each other out of love haha#The more chill of the two liked to fluster his husband and in return he would lightly poke at him for his old-fashion fashion haha#Which of course he offered as well! Also in play! It was cute#I think they both had blue fur and light skin hmm - you can see the little whispies on ascot lol that was the main different feature#They were chunky and defied gravity like that too! It's gotten fuzzy to recall now but I'm certain of that#How silly
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trying SO hard to figure out how to draw this guy
part of me wants to just stick w drawing The Orb forever, but also i want to challenge myself,,, i might just go back and forth btwn which one i draw depending on what i feel like drawing in the moment LOL
#also i think theres two timelines in my pkmn-posting#theres the timeline where Henry stays piplup forever#and then theres the timeline that follows my actual gameplay where Henry evolves#i think in forever-piplup timeline then Rowlet would stay Rowlet for longer than. like four days LOL#but in the evolve timeline then yeah i let everyone evolve pretty quick bc i see no reason to delay the evolution process#so if u see me bouncing back and forth btwn two seemingly conflicting canons... its bc of the two aforementioned timelines fjdkdl#they kind of blend together a bit in my mind too... nothing is ever quite set in stone irt guzbug canon LOL#things are always subject to change#dandy.cmd#doodlebug.jpeg#dandy.exe
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Hello, im wehaveagathering from my main blog, im kind of obsessed with your hockey poetry edits and I think your blog is great! I guess I kind of have a dumb question, where do you find the images you use for your edits? Did you say Getty in your tags?? I’ve gotten into making icons recently (and i have ideas for poetry edits hrrrghhh) but it’s hard to find high res images. Thanks for your time and I hope you have a nice day :)
first of all thank you so much 🥹 and second that’s absolutely not a dumb question!! i do pull a lot of images from getty and i’ll also download pictures from sports articles (i got a lot of the hugheses pictures from online access articles, for example), or sometimes from instagram/facebook/twitter if an account is public. freely admitting that i am not technologically advanced? inclined? in the slightest here, but the image editing software that you use and how you import/export photos with it makes a difference in the quality of them as well!
if you haven’t seen them yet, i would also recommend checking out @simmyfrobby @national-hockey-lesbian @hauntedppgpaints @tapedsleeves @starscelly and @captainbradmarchand’s blogs just off the top of my head!!! they might know more places to get high res images and also i love their work 💕🫶
#sorry can’t type hands all butterfly hearts i’m just out here like 🥰🥰🥰🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭💕💕💕#@ everyone i tagged ty i love you i hope you don’t mind the tag 😘 also i KNOW i am unintentionally forgetting people so tag them at will#forgive me i am eepy. we are running on <4 hours of sleep and over 18 hours awake 🫡#liv in the replies#join the club!!! join the club!!!!! we love the hockey poetry edits!!!!!! i’m so excited to see what you create!!!!! :)))))#the process of me finding images is very much like. either i have a vision in my head and i troll getty looking for it or my screenshots#if i know i have one l m a o but either way i am always 68 pages deep in a hyper specific search labeling my photos like ��ohHHH buddy’#‘menace 1 abd 2’ ‘but he’s not a cup winner’ ‘ohhhh the nolpat media scrums are rich earth’#‘because WILLY WON’T CUT HIS HAIR’ ‘deJA FUCKIN MILK BAYBE’ ‘is it truly sn edit if u don’t find a devastating baby pic’ ‘yes MF last line’#and so forth. like. glad it’s comprehensible to ME but if anyone else ever tried to use these photos based on file name alone i am so sorry#also i forget that y’all can’t see all of the metadata notes on photos to know where they’re from :/ i gotta be better abt making it clear#also on the note about image quality i just need to state for the record i am so photoshop whatever illiterate.#i learn one (1) new trick on GIMP a year maybe two if i am lucky & no i have never figured out consistent sizing 🫡 but the one hack for res#i HAVE figured out is that when i do edits i usually make a whole doc w/the poem lined up on it (helps me keep somewhat consistent sizing)#and then i export that document as a pdf and edit the pdf in the software instead of trying to screencap or jpeg or anything. PDF quality >#that is probably so convoluted lol if anyone has tips please lmk i am always learning#ANYWAY. rambling u did not ask for but is inherent to Me.#have a great day too!!!!! you literally made mine so 💕😭#wehaveagathering#indecisor
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Saying Goodbye to My Mask event on project sekai may have been a premonition of having my own mental health tank to the same level as Mafuyu's because well. Let's just say. The depression. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
#miko talking#well. even though i try to get help it feels like my parents sabotage me more#the only comfort is realizing my feelings and wondering about it#frankly i dont like acknowledging them bc then i feel like im not playing up to the role everyone expects of me but#i want to express it in my stuff but I've been losing my will to keep drawing and writing and i guess#this is what depression is like. i just never expected to find myself actually going through it#i thought i left that era of havingthe worst time of my life but i feel like these past few years#are definitely my most worst#i think thats one thing games like pjsk has me realizing#and why i find comfort in n25#because to me they feel like pieces of me that have been written down#idk why im ranting lol??? i just want to be honest with how i feel but i end up going back to trying to be a people pleaser#ewwwww. i hate this. in truth i dont like people all that much. neither do i like making new friends#it's crazy because I'm always saying sure! when someone asks even though i know I'm not going to feel anything from it#sorry..... but I don't care enough anymore.... maybe one day i will#but right now not really..... at least at the moment.#these friendships with followers are in truth just parasociality and i dont want it after what happened the first time#especially with how two-faced/double standards people are like#people are the worst ^^ i wish the world was a kinder place for everyone but i dont know how much longer i can keep up with this#if only people minded their own business. im not someone to be babied by people who think they know better.#what a pain (◕ᴗ◕✿)
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finally settling once and for all... with the evidence laid out plainly.. which of these brother boys is more stinkys ,,,
#also please for the love of gourd do not take this seriously i am joking I do not hold any of these behaviors against my cats I know that#all cats are a little stinky and weird I have had cats all of my life I am not genuinely condemning my cats i am being silly please lol#(some of my goofy cat posts in the past will always get like.. one or two people taking an issue with something incredibly#mundane. like me saying a cat is being rude or somehting and someone being like 'um actually cats cant process the concept of#rudeness. he has no idea he did anything wrong!' ........ yes...... i am aware.. that my cat has the brain of a cat lol#ANYWAY.... polls!!! so excited to have polls.. I will try not to be annoyig but I just love asking random things to the general#public. in friend groups I am always the one asking people to taking surveys. quizzes. making surveys and handing them out. etc.#the rare times I can partially overcome my social anhedonia/inability to socially function properly/etc. is when I'm interviewing people or#socializing specifically in the context of like Information Gathering lol#I love running questionairres and stuff . even about the most mundane pointless topics. there's just soemthing really interesting#about like....... being able to ask people stuff and then look at and analyze the results.#Even though that's an incredibly simple average thing. idk.. my brain loves information even if it's pointless silly information.#I Just Think It's Neat. I have so so sos os oso many ideas but I wanted to make the first poll about my cats#of course because I'm also obsessed with them lol. I was thinking of taking some of the pictures of them in front of a blank#canvas and doing a poll of 'what are they painting?' or 'what should they paint?' but I decided to go with babey crimes#for now. inspired by various baby crimes committed just this morning. Fresh on my mind..#I wish they had a middle option though between '1 day' and '1 week'. I think a week is too long for a poll like this but also#one day is not long enough because I dont really have THAT many active followers. if it was just a day it would probably reach like 5 poepl#people. I want to at least be able to reblog it a few times maybe. lol#I think 3-4 days would be ideal. Its a new feature though. I'm sure they'll modify things as time goes on.#Still feeling sick and bad and weird and not being that productive at all generally but... I have just enough energy stores..#using up every ounce of my power to make a goofy poll... a worthy sacrifice....
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Sometimes I think about contacting one of my professors and telling them I'd like to write an actual thesis to only then reveal it would be a lengthy study on WN. What if it worked and I got to research this show I love and get paid for it and not have to scramble for writing time the way I do today?
But then I think my professors might not remember me... Or that I'd need to reference some of the things I've already written here and that would necessarily mean revealing to them and anyone reading such a hypothetical thesis all the stuff on this blog -- and then you people would also probably be able to track down the study and me, personally, by extension.
I really don't know what would be worse. Having a name and face strangers on the internet could forever attach to this username or having professors I have studied under and who were quite admiring of my work find out that I not only like to analyse the gay nun show but I also write stories where the older gay nun gets eaten out by her scientist girlfriend inside a chapel...
#if you're stuck wondering where i wrote chapel oral since you don't remember reading anything of the sort from me...#... that's because i haven't posted it yet. it's all set and ready for this friday though :) my last valentines bingo fill at long last#silly blabbering#and thus i waste my diploma away lol#maybe one day i'll gather all the texts i'd like to use and sit down and write the thing anyway. for the lulz.#but only after i've decided and/or completed the longfic i have in mind#i wanted to try starting it this year as i'm always afraid my obsession with wn might wilt away before i begin#but there are no guarantees and there are at least two stories i want to write before that. so. uncertainty it is!
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Re: the memorable fanfic scene, I think the first fic of yours I read (maybe just the first one I commented on?) was Searching for Good Times (I'm also re-reading it now so maybe that's skewing my recollection lol). Anyway, the scenes that I always remember are a) when Five has to confront reality and disavow his life in the hotel - and Delores - to escape and b) the ending scene where he gets hugs. I love the scenes in all your fics where Five gets hugs. He needs them!
The scene that started that whole fic <3
Literally, I was chatting with @candiliam328 I think about this Wandavision-esque HOb, and Five having to confront Delores about not being real to get out. The single most painful thing Five would have to acknowledge/go through after losing his siblings - losing his Wife to not even death, but non-existence. So deliciously painful. And then I had to write the rest of the fic.
And Five always gets a hug or some comfort at the end (well... almost all of the time). We're here to torture Five, see him kick ass, and then get a goddamn hug. If the show won't do it, we'll do it ourselves.
#thank you!#and love that you're rereading! always happy to know people are coming back for a round two or more <3#god i love delores and five truly obsessed with how fucked up their relationship is#one day i'm going to work more on that five and delores in the apocalypse fic - or at least post the first few chapter i've got done#i should just put the beginning bit up...#someone twist my arm to share lol#anyway! thank you! <3#nice things#ask response#if you'll indulge me the game tonight is ''what scene comes to mind when you think shark fics''
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