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bloomzone · 14 days

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GLOW UP DIARY : #1.MINDSET IS EVERYTHING

Life is beautiful galaxy be a writer, genre is fantasy what opens up to me tomorrow is a big, big stage so that is who I am

- ive (song : i am )

Hey heeey sparkles...today is the first part of glow up diary "mindset"..so grab ur notebook and let's guaaaar !

by: 𖧷´ bloomzone 𝅄 ׂׅ

#1 MINDSET

First of all bbg ur mindset is more than just a mindset it's a guiding force that influences how you perceive the world, respond to challenges, and ultimately create the life you envision.

THE IDGAF MINDSET IS THE KEY !

﹙ ✿ ﹚they don't like you..they don't like ur style,hair,music taste, interests ? I DON'T CARE YOU ARE YOU I'M ME ! the idgaf mindset is the solution.. everytime someone say something bad about u think and answer like ok and ? Who the fvck care ?. Stop caring about what ppl think about you IT'S YOU VS YOU stop caring about what other say about u . For example if one of ur friends come up to you and say "____ talk sh* about u" don't ask about what that person said abt u it doesn't matter cuz ur life revolve around u and only u. Life become easier once you stop reacting to negativity and that the GOAL cut off friends who bring don't bring u happiness and only bad mood but surround yourself with friends who bring u positivity and motivate you.

TIPS AND HOW TO START BUILDING YOUR OWN MINDSET:

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧ start with listening to podcasts (click here) watch thewizardliz (click here) it will help u so much.💞

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧ break up with friends who hurted you before if they are from ur family distance urself ;)

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧ stop and STOP creating bad scenario on your mind cuz it will effect on ur mood , be positive 🎀

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧ make yourself a propriety act like the person u want to become and always be grateful of what u have rn don't say "why ___ is more popular than me" "why I'm not this pretty?" Cuz this will effect u and u will start overthinking..so be grateful of what u have cuz god have always a better plan for u honey !💌

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧ stay private don't tell ppl ur goal and ur future plan !

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧ don't listen to ppl who will bring u down they choose to hate u let them sit with that feeling it's not ur fault to focus on your self girlie 🎀

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧ start to don't give a sht about what ppl say behind your back stop oversharing ur personal life (this is the big fault ..u should avoid this and trust me pretty that oversharing=problems)

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧just be yourself but with a better mindset cuz u are the only one who know your worth never let anyone costume u or disrespect you "you changed" always say yes for my worth for my future self what do you think u are ? .. if they don't call u, don't respond to ur text put ur phone away go have a good day set boundaries make ppl respect you like if u walk in a room ppl will say "she an unbothered queen fr".You live for yourself sweetie everyone else is second. 💌

ıllı ⠀ : 🎀 i believe in you and you should believe in yourself to make it happen..take care xoxo .

by: 𖧷´ bloomzone 𝅄 ׂׅ ׂׅ ⠀ ♡ ⠀ !!

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ma3mae · 1 year

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No one likes syringes!

Summary : You gotta take your weekly syringe but you're afraid of needles so how can these mfs (Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, Aku, Chuuya) convince you to take it 🤷

Genre : bit cracky and fluff, prob lots of teasing bc u know who tf im talking about 💀

Warnings : heartattacks bc we all simp too hard for these men 🛐 maybe a bit of suggestive themes at the end

A/N : managed to inject myself for the first time (aint no drugs, need them bc HEALTH) and bro, my hands r still shaky bc fear 😭 how do ppl do this so easily 💀 also the syringe is like a pen (also for this story) but broo its still scary and i need some bsd character comforting me 😩✋✋

Dazai Osamu

Lets say yall live together and hes at work while u r home alone

cant bring yourself to do it alone bc bro syringes are scary (even if its just a pen bc NEEDLES BRO) 😩😭

So you text him and ask what hes doing and tell him if hes got time to come home asap bc we r nearly crying at this point

hes gonna be SO ANNOYING like "i was just waiting for a text from you~ dont worry, your knight in shining armor will save you"

BROO he prob knew that you gotta take them today and also knew that nothing would be going on at the agency so he couldve stayed at home but nah 😭😭 (sadistic a** fr fr)

but hes still hurrying nonetheless bc hes not that MEAN -right???-

arrives at home and finds you on the couch holding the pen with shaky hands and his heart does feel a TAD bit guilty bc fr he couldve stayed at home and u would have gotten this shit over asap

gon be all like "dw im here now, okay? Lets just get this over with and then we'll cuddle, how about that?"

homegirl is about to cry at this point bc just FREE HER from this misery

sits next down to you and takes the pen from your hands

If you do wanna try it out yourself, he'll gently guide you through it

He knows how afraid you are and teasing would just make you sob instantly bc the pressure is already too much to deal with YEAH U BETTER STFU U TEASE !! jk still love him

will try to change your mind tho by sayinf stuff like "Really? ~ i mean its brave and good of you to try it yourself but I really love helping you, you know. Want to do everything for you, darling." he knows EXACTLY what hes doing to us by saying that

Is prob gonna give us that look and whisper in our ear and shi im sorry im too down bad for this man at this point 😩

if you dont wanna do it yourself then, he'll tell you to look at him while hes pressing the pen onto your thigh or stomach

You still cant keep your eyes off of it? Sry girl, theres only one solution

He'll just click his tounge at you while having that fking smirk on his face as he says "still too distracted, I see? Well seems like theres only one way to help you"

gives you a kiss on the lips and just deepens it while looking STRAIGHT into your eyes got my knees weak for him fr

you only feel a tiny sting and as soon as a "click" is heard, he'll break the kiss and just grins at you as if he didnt trick you lol

but who are you to complain, he sees that you liked it and will def comment on that

"see, love? Wasn't so hard after all. But you still did well. Proud of you as always"

pecks you on the lips again before setting the pen onto the table and wraps his arms around your waist bc NO WAY in hell is he gonna let go after that

"i think i deserve a reward for that~" "you said you were waiting for a text so you KNEW i had to do it today, right?" ".... welp, not gonna apologize on that 🤷🤷🤷"

u can understand why kunikida has to SIGH all the time as soon as dazai opens his mouth but oh well, you're too whipped to care about at this point

wont let you go so guess you'll have to reward him 💅 no ones complaining LOL

if you tell him to help you next time before hes gone for work, he'll def do it bc he loves u but poor kunikida gotta expect him arrive at work late more often bc he wont leave home without rewards 🛐

Kunikida Doppo

You already know that he got the exact day, hour, minute and SECOND written down on when you gotta take your pen

You tell him that the day is enough and that the time doesnt matter but NOO 😤 YOU WILL take it at the exact time

If its at ungodly hours like 3am or smth, bro he'll wake you up like no mercy for his schedule 😭

If u complain to him tho then dw he will rearrange it for u bc he may love to stick to his plans but he wont ignore your needs and stuff either get urself a man who takes care of u like that 😤😤

will prefer to do it before work, so if you're not an early bird then he'll wake u up but dw you'll get a forehead kiss and bro's already fully dressed n' stuff BUT waking up to him looking at you with such a loving gaze will make u forget that its 5-6am or smth 😩

will first let you get up in peace and make u some calming tea bc he knows what will come next ✋

"Y/N, I know you don't like it but you have to take your pen today, okay?"

if we start a tanthrum then he already knows about it like bro's prepared for everything!!

"Kuni, do we really ha-" "Yes." "But you know I dont li-" "Yes and yes. I know you hate it but don't worry, I've already written everything down on how to do it and what to be aware of so its okay to feel afraid but don't worry because I'm here. Nothing will happen and I've already bought your favorite snacks so you'll feel better but dont eat too much of it when I'm gone. "

u already know he spent a night or smth just researching everything about it as soon as you told him

prob even went to a library and once came back home with multiple books in his hands, hes THAT dedicated UGH I LOVE HIM 💕

you could just sob rn bc how did the earth bless you with this man KUNIKIDA I NEED U 😭😭😭

If the pen is kept in a fridge then dw he already put that shit out for it to not be cold anymore (prob counted the minutes and seconds LOL)

he'll sit you down on the bed or couch, disinfect the place on where you'll take it (lol that sounds WRONG) and he'll give you a peck on your forehead before asking if you're alright and ready to go through with it bc no way in hell is he gonna do it while you're too shaken up for it

If you wanna try to do it alone then he'll take your hand into his as you're grabbing the pen, slowly guiding it while praising you for how brave you are for trying this and that hes proud of you IM SOBBING

will also tell you to look at him if you get more afraid by seeing it on your skin

Honestly even if you dont wanna do it yourself, he'll make sure to be there and will praise you every time you get through with it bc you KNOW he means it

Honestly makes you tear up everytime and u just wanna kiss this man fr

you thank him and tell him how glad you are to have him, he'll be smitten even more than he already is

Cup his face with your hands and kiss him bro's gonna find it really difficult to not stay at home and just be in your arms

at the end of the day, his love for you exceeds his ideals so he wouldnt mind arriving at work some minutes later if he gets to have you in his arms for a bit longer

Will arrive at work with such a good mood that hes prob gonna freak dazai out with it especially when he overlooks some dumb remarks from him the power of love YALL but who can blame him, his heart is thumping louder than dazai's rambling LOL

maybe yall will continue when hes back home, who knows 🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐

Nakajima Atsushi

when you told him about the pen for the first time, he was literally thrown off like "wait, so you have to.... stab yourself regularly with that?????"

hes just SO precious bc his heart's squeezing at you asking him if he could help u bc you just feel so comfortable and just knowing that makes him SWOON

But at the same time hes panicking bc HOW CAN HE DO THAT WITHOUT HURTING U

Ngl hes prob also afraid of needles and stuff 😭 is gonna look at u like the pic above LOL

will ask yosano or even recommend that she should do it but you're like "NO!! im sorry, tsushi but im too scared of her and i feel safe with u :(((("

you got him WHIPPED and DEDICATED bc he'll def research that shit through and through

Will ask his coworkers (prob kunikida) how to best handle the situation

has everything ready but will stumble and be kinda hastily about it at first bc hes prob even more nervous than you are 💀

either it implifies your fear more or its just so ridiculous that you're legit like "ily but im not gonna die or smth 🤨🤨🤨" you cant blame him tho 😤

hes gonna be all like "OKAY OKAY, we got this. No, I GOT this s-so no worries, okay?" bro, BREATHE. Hes just about to pass out at this point jk jk

if you decide to try it out alone, he'll be a bit saddened bc does this mean you dont want him to help you after all?? :(( was he not good enough of a choice to be of help :((( TSUSHI STFU ILY

dw just reassure him that you obviously appreciate his help and still need him to be there bc no way in hell can u do it alone without ur hubby

will tell you everything he had learned about the pen and how to use it with a bit of a tremble in his voice but he pulls through with it!!

You manage to do it and BOY get ready for a rant on how proud of you he is

will want to pamper you with kisses on ur face "tsushi, i know that look. Go ahead and do it, dont hold back" "really, y/n!!?" "😩 bro do it ok" will try to hold back with gluing himself onto you but how can he NOT

If u dont wanna do it urself then it will prob go like this:

its time for yk what and he sees the genuine fear in your eyes but dw he got you

hes prob gon be like "my s/o need me rn and i have to help them!!!" hes actually gonna remember everythinf he looked up and prob memorized for you bc hes AN ANGEL will put his forehead against yours and tell you to look at him "i wont let anything hurt you and happen to you. You're afraid and honestly im afraid too but you and i will get through this, okay?" gives you the most lovestruck smile ever before he looks down and counts to three

"breathe in, y/n. It will be okay" he ignores his slightly trembling hands and at the count of three inserts it. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER📸📸📸

as soon as yall hear a click, he quietly counts to three before pulling it out and BROO the relief is refreshing af

"WE DID IT, Y/N!!!" Is hella giddy bc how can he not be proud of the both of you!!!! You did it!!! will honestly pull you in a hug bc hes just so happy

prob gonna realise that he just did it without asking u and will be sheepish all like "o-oh sorry, i just got too excited" "no tsushi. We should be happy about this so dont let go!!" no need to say it twice bc hes gonna wrap his arms even tighter around you and nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck ILL GIVE U A KISS TSUSHI 🛐🛐

will he feel bad for arriving at work a bit later? Maybe but a scolding from kunikida wont hold him back from holding you for a tad bit longer

He'll be a bit less nervous for the next times and it will surely decrease with each time bc practice yk but will obviously still hold you until he made sure that you're feeling okay afterwards

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

Bro's nearly flabbergasted bc why are you making such a FUSS 🤨🤨 im sry dont sue me

"Calm down, you idiot. It's only a pen. You dont even SEE the needle."

dont ask him why hes staying with you if its JUST a needle then bc bro will prob just straight up get up and leave if you point it out 💀

will prob be the first to not even suggest but just TELL you to do it yourself aku im hurting over here 😩

will prob make an effort in atleast roughly skimming through a website about it prob smth weird like wikihow LMAO

If he does see you how afraid you really are of it, hes rly trying his best to ignore the small ache its giving his heart bc he takes no pleasure in witnessing u be so afraid✋ its still JUST a pen in his eyes at the end of the day lol

will just sigh and snatch that shit from your hands bc he cant bear to see you like this any longer are we looking that pitiful, probably LOL

But he'll be surprisingly soft with his touch, nearly just ghosting you with his hands is that even a term, nvm yall know what i mean

Hes just gonna be straightforward with it bc the faster its over the better. He wont admit that he just wants to help but cant convey it bc what even are feelings 🤷

He'll tilt your chin towards him and just say "Look at me, Y/N. Stop overthinking it. You won't get hurt from this stupid thing, okay? If smth does happen, I'll just destroy the factory thats making this."

You dont know if hes joking to lighten the mood or if hes serious bc its aku

But hes prob joking

anyway hes gonna ask you like smth rly random like "What do you wanna eat later" which will confuse you but you'll answer nonetheless bc hey hes initiating a convo!!

as you start to talk and he notices you're relaxed enough for him, welp yk whats happening

Actually makes you wince a bit bc it just caught you off guard

"Ryuu, what the f-?!" "Just bear with it." ok we have been silenced 🛐

yall hear the click of relief, he counts in his mind to three and quickly pulls that shit out

you're slightly trembling from relief from finally getting it over you and bro just clicks his tounge like "You're such a fool. Cant believe something insignificant like that makes you nearly shit your pants."

you lowkey glare at him for that bc BRO needles r spooky 😭 but dw before you even open your mouth to tell him off, he'll look to the side and say "... You did good for holding that out though... but its still stupid."

just give him a peck on the cheek or smth bc this boy is prob craving some praise after having helped you like that

"Thank you, Ryuu. I couldnt have done this without you. You're the best boyfriend I could ever ask for"

Give him a tight hug, kiss and boom you got him around your finger

he'll take a second to wrap his arms around you and will just hide his face in the crook of ur neck like our other boy tsushi

"Of course, I'd help... I'll still blow up the factory for scaring you like that."

"NO!!" jk he wont if u tell him not to but hes just trying to say he doesnt like seeing u like that we know aku, dw 💕💕

if his coworkers ask why hes arriving a bit later at work, he'll just tell them to shut up and continue with their work

If you look closely you'll see his ears turn a bit pink as he keeps thinking of you and your words 💕💕😭

Nakahara Chuuya

Honestly its gonna be a mix of every reaction possible I think

Like if you tell him about the pen, hes first gonna feel a bit pressured like "O-Oh wait so you want ME to help with it??"

Like no offense hes obviously feeling pretty happy about that you are asking him for help especially for smth important as your health

But he knows hes not the most gentle person and does have his worries that he might accidentally hurt you or smth

wont ask anyone for advice bc its his love of his life can i be that pls that asked HIM so he'll do it at the end of the day!!

but if hes feeling rly unsure then he wont mind slipping a question about it when hes reporting to mori

which means being not subtle at all

"So was that all for today's report of the mission." "Yeah." "Then do you need something or why are you still standing there?" ".... *pulls out a picture of your pen* do you know how to use this?..."

you def know that chuuya's feeling so embarassed that hes asking his BOSS but its a sacrifice hes willing to pay

mori will have mercy on him and tell him what he should be careful of and summarise on how to use it

Will prob throw in a "good luck~" bc how can u not TEASE him

anyway our boy's done his research and now comes the hard part

"Okay, dont panic Y/N." "HOW CAN I NOT WHEN YOU'RE HOLDING IT LIKE YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME" "JUST DONT PANIC, FFS"

dw as soon as he sees you trembling, he'll be softer than a marshmallow

a chuuya one

"Oi, look at me. I'll make sure nothing's gonna happen to you, alright? Will just sting a bit and thats it. Will take care of you after this so you'll forget this ever happened."

HOW CAN U NOT SWOON AT HIM 😩😩

he'll even take off his gloves so you'll be more relaxed if you can feel his skin bro the gloves are giving off doctor vibes in this scenario, will make us panic more LOL

if you really cant keep your eyes off it then well....

"Damn it, love. Stop looking at it." will just press his lips onto you for a second before breaking it and inserting that shi*

"Ch-Chuuya!" "I know, i know. Dont worry, its gonna be over real soon."

And boom thr click is heard and yall are finally done

Honestly his shoulders are gonna relax instantly, boy was tensed up even more than you skskskks but who can blame him

"OMG chuuya we did it!!" "Yeah, you did it, doll." bro's gonna latch onto you again bc that kiss from earlier wasnt enough for the both of u 😩

is it riling yall up? Probably but welp you 're already either shirtless or pantless so only one clothing to pull off less work for yall

Mori's just gonna be like "I see, you managed to get through it" and chuuya just tiltd his fedora down so u cant see his face bc he REALLY wants to ignore that his boss knows whats been holding our boy up cant blame him 🤷🤷🤷

***************

Lol that was WAY too long but honestly this was so good to write 😩 now im just gonna be sad that none of them r here to do it irl but oh welp, will just read more stuff about them ✋💅

#atsushi x reader #chuuya x reader #dazai x reader #akutagawa x reader #kunikida x reader #bsd x reader #bsd dazai #bsd atsushi #bsd akutagawa #bsd chuuya #bsd kunikida #bungou stray dogs x reader

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twinkubus · 8 months

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so hard to sit with emotions!!! also stupid but so hard to realize the many emotions that i thought i didn't have. how so early on i tried to dismiss feelings of loneliness & abandonment by saying well i don't even LIKE being around people and i would RATHER be apart from everyone and it's FINE and even BETTER this way .

also how insecurities are MINE to deal with like if i feel insecurity that abates when i'm distracted the solution isn't just to--

ugh side note i mean it was also reasonable for me to be like "i would rather be apart from everyone" in certain circumstances. i remember this jesuit scholastic and a student a few years younger than me when i was in undergrad. we'd hang out after thursday night mass my senior year and when i left them after walking them back to their respective dorms i would be SEETHING i would be SO MAD bc there wasn't anything about my life i could share with them and even the smallest thing about myself or my interests would be met with incomprehension!!! i remember the student telling me she and her family voted for trump bc he was pro-life and like. LIKE. but also she was awkward and lonely and i wanted her to feel accepted by the community that i was barely even a part of. and if she wasn't there who else would i have talked to? the jesuits that year were bleak, all wrapped up in this almost fratty innocence, not really interested in the rest of the student pop. most seminarian-ass crop of jesuits i had seen.

anyway if i feel insecurity that abates when i'm distracted from it--and if i use hanging out w ppl as a "distraction"--whether or not i'm fufilled by those encounters-- the solution isn't JUST to constantly b hanging out like the insecurity is sourced from me. and anytime i have a day 2 myself it'll come back. and it's SO ANNOYING to sit with it and it's also equally annoying to talk about it--i have this issue sometimes too where like, i'm having a good time seeing someone why would i want to ruin it and think about annoying sucky things just b/c it's "good 2 open up" or whatever. and ik. IK IT WORKS !!! to open up to people. but i hardly even know what i want or feel a lot of the time .

#word vomit #lll

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citromello · 5 months

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In response to the following posts:

Hope this doesn't derail (if it does please tell me I'll delete it) but on top of that this person is also being very stupid about society and feminism. "men are not permitted to talk about their problems" and "men expect emotional labour from women instead of going to therapy" are in fact the exact same problem??? The problem is that society/the patriarchy tells men that they need to ahow strength etc and not talk about their feelings especially with other men or strangers. But since men are yknow, humans, this isn't really sustainable or possible so this burden gets privately put onto the few women they are close with, since women are expected to be helpful and nurturing. The solution to both of these things is to be open and honest about your feelings with all the people around you, and also foster an environment where men are not punished for doing this and taking it seriously. Like even if you only care about women, allowing men to be more public with problems does in fact solve the first problem this person mentioned, its almost like sexism is a complex network of human interactions or something. (to tie this back to trans people this person is calling trans people out on having uuuuuuh correct and helpful opinions about feminism? Oh no how dare you) -- not derailing at all, that’s literally the crux of the issue. ppl will acknowledge that the patriarchy expects men to be hyperindividualistic, stoic, emotionless machines, and acknowledge that that’s bad and toxic, but when men actually express how that toxicity makes them feel, people will turn right around and reinforce the idea that men must deal with their problems only on a private, individual basis, which is literally what the patriarchy tells men they need to do. trans men and mascs aren’t the only ppl talking abt this, bell hooks has written extremely eloquently about this as well.

I have mixed feelings about this. I agree with you on many of your points: that men are unskilled at talking about feelings can be blamed on a culture that makes it so men didn't get as many opportunities to practice this skill, that being angry at men about it doesn't help the broader issue, and that how "this burden gets privately put onto the few women they are close with" is a difficult situation.

But, I think helping someone with a deeply personal issue that they are unskilled at handling is an act of love, and not an easy one. It's hard and awkward and often painful and aspirational. As a result, it makes sense to lean on people who are both more skilled than you at processing feelings and who care about you. It also makes sense to lean on someone who does this as a profession (therapists).

Leaning on random acquaintances, often other women, to help you process deep personal emotions, does not feel like it's the solution. It feels like a wrong-place-wrong-time mistake. I am happy and honored to sit with men close to me as they work through their struggles. I am less happy to do it with people I know only in passing.

This is one of the first date patterns I used to get. I meet up with a guy for the first time, we haven't talked much before. After like 10 minutes of small talk, he swings the conversation onto his unrelenting sense of alienation and loneliness, or some other difficulty. I think it's actually the correct move to resist turning the conversation into a sympathy and support session. Sometimes conversations are supposed to be something else.

Even if swinging to oversharing after a lifetime of undersharing is a very understandable mistake, I think that there is room to acknowledge that neither of these are good long term patterns. Finding the middle ground is not a problem exclusive to men, even if as a whole they might be worse at it. Everyone struggles with it sometimes. There is plenty of space between "no one else cares about your feelings" and "your feelings are everyone's problem". It's important to see that instead of "that's too much" and "that's too little" being conflicting advice, its advice that is working together to point to a middle ground.

#feminism #rant post

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goosimp · 10 months

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time to write a proper response woosh

"uncooked bread...craving burned toast"

Excuse me who you calling uncooked- also wait is that a threat O.o

yeah. Life fucking sucks. Especially for me on that day ugh. When my days go increasingly bad I do somethings that I look forward to, to make me happy but then that thing also tipped me off and I reached my breaking point.

Queen I don't think it's really healthy to sleep that much- dummy take care of your health!!

but I get that, being drained by ppl and all, hhhh..

Like I said that fic kinda thing is a trilogy so there's a third part to it too but now I don't feel very good, don't wanna write

Ee... your reactions

Like I had sent had I? Well reaffirming, Older then 15 but ok, I don't write smut mostly anyways let alone ever send anyone..

Have a nice day<3

~🍞

I like uncooked bread and no it's not a threat. Not reAlly..

Actually my day has been going good. Too good to true. when I returned home from school turn out a shopkeeper gave me extra money accidentally 😛. It was just 20 so I didn't return back ;P

Dw toast your day will start to get better too. Eat a toast everyday to keep bad things away 👍

eh?

I feel good to sleep. 13 hrs of sleep a day is a must. I recommend. and short naps on the class as well or my brain lags.

more likely i drain other people but it works the other way around too

I understand you. The sudden loss of motivation. The biggest urge hits me during chemistry class mostly because i don't listen shit, it comes like a roundhouse kick on the gut. The girl sitting next to me thinks i am having anxiety but no, I just want to talk about how good of an eye candy Goo is and my thirst for him to the point where I can't sit still but I can't talk abt him here because phones are NOT fucking allowed in the school. And then I reach home, everything is annoying and I just want to sleep.

Yes, I did get your message but to explain it in short this is what happened inside my brain

"Oh they are older than 15, I am on the line of red zone ig? should I reply? But that's their age, what if they don't want people to know? But it's sent anonymously so ig there won't be a problem? AND? it's still their personal information? BUT STILL what if they don't want people to know??? BUT-"

I thought like this for an hour before I came up with the best possible solution. ToJustNotThinkAboutItAtAll. Just with that I slept again. Sorry if you though I was rude for not replying to you. I won't guarantee that it won't happen again :D

Ik I overreacted. I did use to write smuts when I was 12 but now I see my little cousin who is 13 watching doraemon and spongebob... wildfire spread on my mind yk thinkling abt "What if they are kids and I am asking them smut? HUH?" nearly lost my shit a little

Have a nice day too toast <3

#~🍞 toast

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weedstop · 1 year

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What would you say to someone who can’t smoke due to asthma and has to rely on edibles instead. Yeah, it gets the job done but there’s a sense of community that comes along with smoking with friends and since I can’t take part in that… I just never feel like I belong 😔

I’m sorry you feel left out, man. that’s not a fun feeling. you’re probably looking for a short reply but i have this disease called “i have a lot of shit to say even if no one is listening”

TLDR: I can relate to the feeling left out in a sesh with your friends thing cuz edibles don’t work for me. I can relate to the health thing due to being an addict/alcoholic in recovery who can’t participate in partying and stuff with other young ppl. Trying to find acceptance is my only solution which will come gradually

edibles:

So you wanna know something? Edibles barely work for me, even when i have little or no tolerance. So sometimes I get like FOMO cuz people will talk about taking no more than 5 or 10 milligrams and tripping their balls off. So i don’t enjoy taking edibles with friends cuz i always get like frustrated that everyone is faced off half a gummy and i’m just sitting there feeling nothing off 60mg. So like i kind of get it. You’re not alone on missing out a little. Also if you can still get high off edibles that’s something to be grateful for cuz it’s certainly better than nothing.

And it does suck to feel excluded by circumstances out of your control such as health. My only suggestion is to attempt to find a place of acceptance because that’s all we can do to reach some kind of peace when things are outside of our control.

Health/addiction:

This isn’t exactly the same thing, though it is about health and kind of related. When I was 19, i realized i’m an addict/alcoholic, and would spiral out of control when i consumed any substance other than weed, but even weed would hinder my progress sometimes and i’ve have to go long stretches of time throughout the years of being totally clean and sober. (the last stretch was my longest at 2 years)

Acceptance:

Unsurprisingly and disappointingly, a lot of people in their late teens and early 20’s wanna bond and hang out by drinking, partying, smoking, going out. So i have felt that exclusion and have had to process a lot of mixed feelings about mine and others substance usage and lack thereof, in order to reach a place of mostly acceptance.

I’d be lying if i said i didn’t still get a little jealous of people who can casually drink or take harder drugs without it ruining their lives or without them ODing and stuff. but it has gotten easier.

It’s only been a year since i started smoking weed again after that 2 year break i mentioned. I find I’m able handle smoking weed now without it triggering a relapse into worse things, for whatever reason. maybe just from practicing so much discipline and self control over those 2 years.

But in the year leading up to last year, i was in cosmetology school fully clean/sober with a bunch of young women that just smoked weed constantly and would always invite me to sesh in their cars on breaks, or they’d smoke/dab/vape their weed right in front of me. (i smoked cigs at the time in the smoking area behind the school and they’d come out there and start blazing)

It did suck to be around that knowing i couldn’t partake no matter how bad i wanted to because my body responds differently to substances than a non addict.

Personally i’m still working on reaching true acceptance, but to me it’s more like an act of repeatedly deciding to accept that i can’t be a part of some things. Even when i feel envy or fear of missing out, reminding myself that it’s okay if i can’t always have life the way i wish it could be, even if it’s disappointing. This has gotten easier over time.

Hopefully it gets easier for you too. like it’s all good man

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lovesaadiqa · 2 years

Text

here cause I need to be but I don't wanna write. ion't wanna admit it to myself. feel like shit though, again. alone, again. unloved, again. tired, again. sad, again. feel like running, again! read me a couple books, I always land in the pages of someone else thoughts when mine are too much. escapism when all else fails but im choosy about what I ingest when im scared to face life. it's always a book that tells me im a weak bitch by choice or Abraham hicks or I hate you by Sza. im learning slowly about the insecurity other people introduce into my vibration when I want to "vent" so my stubborn ass aint answered my phone or called nobody in almost 10 days. you know I read that women complain about their problems to be comforted/heard & men do it for answers/solutions. fuck it, I aint telling nobody my problems but me, people really leave when I open up, when I decide to be vulnerable, when I show the scars, talk about the pain, ask for help, they mf leave me. im never good enough, too damaged, too painful, too angry.

anyway, first book was "the subtle art of not giving a fuck" - the most important thing I learned was thinking of every situation like someone left a baby on my step. Whether the baby arriving is my fault or not I am responsible for the baby and my actions are 1000% my choice.. I have a choice in how to deal. The baby signifies hardship, conflict, dilemmas, negativity and trauma. how the fuck are you going to deal? it also gives an equation for identifying whether I have good or poor values and how to measure said value against my beliefs. I want my brand to be "constant composure" (phrase also coined from a book "7 days in June") a bitch don't wanna be rocked by anything. if me and 1.8 million ppl got the same "baby" i want to be #1 in handling it with a sense of urgency, grace and full composure.

second is "untethered soul" - I learned about how to listen to and feel my emotions from a conscious awareness point of view. give the voice I hear in my head a body and set her next to me like a bff. the idea to see how wacky and all over the place your bff is, why she exists and why you allow her to manipulate how you deal. there's also pulling back from the tv.. its like understanding how into a movie you can be that you feel you're in it but in reality your sitting in your living room.. your mind is fully encompassed by what is happening in the movie. the idea is to pull back from you life, still watch the movie but notice the coffee table, the traffic outside, the couch.. it's understanding that there is still so much going on around you but you're too consume to see it, you think youre apart of the movie "the emotions, feelings, thoughts and senses" when all actuality you're just watching it. this concept is so heavy for me and needs so much more discipline for me to grasp it but there is away to watch my emotions and not become a part of them or believing they're me.

growth is a bitch! I want it, badly. I learn all these ways to heal my inner child and adopt better behavioral practices and how to change my perspective but in the moment.. instinctual reaction or a destructive behavioral pattern. shut yo ass out fast asf no matter what I stand to lose. I hate it bad, the lack of self control.. eww.

faced with leaving my place and I see all ten kinds of attachment issues showing face. tryna teach myself to ask where the emotions are coming from when I experience something and right now it's discomfort. I know all too well what thats like and the idea of having to live through that again is blocking my energy. I've realized I need to make myself my home not no carpeted 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath, 2 story townhouse, me! after I pushed everyone away all that's left is admitting im running from me! I need to find a way to be ok no matter what's in front of me.. no matter where I go I should feel that 2 story glass penthouse vibe within me.. utter joy. a bitch scared as hell but I'd be a fool to not understand that im chained to this daunting life lesson and cannot move until I figure it out. letting that sink in is leaving me a fucking fist full of tears.

“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” -Anais Nin

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awkwardtortilla · 2 years

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Hcs for when cami gets sad??? Xoxo

Awe hell yea

Sad!Camilo hcs

This was a lot less angsty than I had in mind but I still love it and loved writing it

warnings: sickeningly sweet; kinda heartbreaking; gender identity crisis; Camilo being a sad puppy; not proofread

It’s really obvious when Camilo’s upset

He mopes

It’s so goddam pitiful you can’t help but want to hold him

I mean you were gonna do it anyways but his sad puppy eyes and droopy head just make it more compelling

He’ll keep up an act for the crowds and the kids, smiling and playing

But as soon as he waves goodbye the grin fades and his shoulders slump and he crosses his arms across his chest

Yes Ik it’s very angsty teen

But it’s also very Camilo

He’s not gonna try to hide his feelings if he doesn’t feel like he needs to bc it seems stupid

Why would someone bottle up their feelings?

Why hide them?

That just creates more problems

And not the fun kind

So when you approach him and ask if everything’s alright he doesn’t try for a smile and nod his head

Camilo looks right at you and shakes his head with the saddest look it makes your heart ache

So you offer him your hand and lead him somewhere secluded

You sit down on a bench or the ground and either A) gently pull him onto your lap or B) let him sit next to you

It depends on the temperature and your moods

It doesn’t matter which position tho he’s still gonna curl up there and flop his head onto your shoulder which prolly hurts you both a lil but you don’t really mind as he nuzzles into you and breathes deep

You wrap your arm(s) around him, rest your chin on the top of his head, and trace the tips of your fingers up and down his arm(s)

Or you might do that to his back

Or you might rub his back

Or a combination of the above

But anyways

As Camilo heaves a sigh you quietly ask if he wants to talk about it

Welp I was gonna say that toward the beginning of your relationship he wouldn’t but I honestly don’t think it would matter

If he doesn’t need to get it out or if he doesn’t have the energy to talk about it then he shakes his head

So you’ll just chill there with him, comforting him wordlessly, pressing tender, loving kisses anywhere and everywhere

Neck, forehead, temple, hair, hands, arms, shoulders, everywhere

If he’s on your lap with his chest to yours you’ll slowly comb your hands thru his hair and twirl the ends around your fingers

Ayyyy mierda [shit]

Camilo loves every bit of it

He’s so goddam grateful for you and your endless affection

He loves that you aren’t pressing him for answers and instead just provide this silent but strong wall of comfort that he can lean on

Then again

Camilo will definitely talk to you

He trusts and loves you with all that he is and will have no issues with opening up

I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times in all the other hcs and imagines and fanfics but a main cause of Camilo’s upset-ness is that ppl in town are always asking for him to be other ppl

No one asks for just Camilo

So he’s often left feeling unwanted and used

So you’re there to remind him that you and the other Madrigals love Camilo for Camilo

He’s more than his gift

Then another huge source of mopey behavior is an identity crisis

With his gift it’s easy for all the appearances and genders and changing to go to his head

Camilo is also, without a doubt, a he/they

I don’t know a single he/they or she/they (including myself) that has not had multiple gender identity crisis’

And even after they come out and have it “figured out” there are still lots of times when they question it

So when Camilo has his he’s very confused and feeling vulnerable and probably second guessing everything every time someone calls him “he” or “they”

There’s honestly not much you can do for this

No solid advice you can give

No definite or clear solution

But you can offer support

You can promise that you’ll be there no matter what

It doesn’t matter if Camilo is a guy, gal or nonbinary pal

You’ll always love him/them for him/them

And Camilo is infinitely grateful for it

You have no idea

Camilo’s heart swells- no- bursts with love and gratitude and adoration

He holds you a little closer

Squeezes you a little tighter

Falls whole stories deeper in love with you (if that was even possible)

#camilo headcanons #camilo imagine #camilo madrigal #camilo x you #camilo fanfic #camilo fluff #camilo x reader #fluffy shit #identity crisis #gender identity crisis #actually kinda sad #not proofread

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letstalkaboutfandomsbaby · 3 years

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Thoughts about yandere nanami and chubby reader? 🥰🥰 i love your blog btw

HOLY SHIT NO BC I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT YANDERE NANAMI BEFORE AND NOW I CAN FINALLY PUT IT OUT THERE, HOLD ON—

CW: chubby fem reader, yandere, manipulation, smut, breeding, feeder kink, dark content, dead dove do not eat

Ok but listen—

Yandere Nanami is much more likely than you think sksksks

He's still head over heels for chubby reader, but it's more of an obsession

He doesn't like overtime bc all his free time is spent following you and watching you from afar

I still headcanon him meeting you at the cafe you work at, but the first moment he saw you, he knew that no one else could have you

You're just so plump and look so soft and your perfume smells so good and he just wants you all to himself

Yk how I always talk about how Nanami just wants to get married and come home to a cute little housewife and keep her safe and happy forever??

Yea, same thing just make it creepy sksksk

Yandere Nanami who wants to marry his chubby darling and keep them locked away from all of the assholes who don't deserve to see you

You're too soft and sweet and precious for the real world, so he has to keep you safe

So obviously he has to kidnap you to keep you away from all the dangerous ppl out there

He's very meticulous about it

He's not gonna just pop up and drug you when you're alone

He'll probably scare you into trusting him

He'll use his sorcerer skills to manipulate you into liking him

Like he'll get some flyheads and release them near you so they'll attack you and make you feel awful

Then he'll show up and you'll 💫magically💫 feel better

You start associating him with feeling safe and secure

He'll do this for a few months until you create this psychological bond with him, where you would trust him with your life bc he's the only person you feel safe around

He'll convince you to come live with him, but he'll frame it in a way where it's not a big deal to him

"Well, I'm flattered that you feel so safe with me, but I'm not sure what else I can do to help you. I mean, I can't be around you 24/7."

"Please, Nanami. I just don't know what to do. I'm always so scared when you aren't around and it's unbearable."

"Hmm... well, if the only way you'll feel safe is to be around me, then the only solution that I can come up with is for us to live together. But that's a very big step and I wouldn't want you to have to change your entire life just to—"

"No! No, I'll move in with you! I'd feel a lot better if I was around you more."

Hook, line, and sinker.

You move into his place, into his guestroom, and you feel much better

Nanami doesn't allow curses into his apartment, so you always feel super safe there

Over time, he starts bringing more and more curses around to your place of work and releasing them when you're not paying attention

It comes to a point where you're too scared to go outside bc you always feel awful when you're away from the apartment

But luckily! Nanami earns enough money for the both of you, and he's such a gentleman that he doesn't mind supporting you, his friend :)

So you stay at home now, where Nanami can keep you away from all the disgusting people that could take advantage of you

But he's still not satisfied

Yes, you live with him and he's able to spend all his free time around you, but you still have walls up

You stay in your room more often than he likes, and occasionally you'll leave the room once he enters, and he's sick of it

Desperate times call for desperate measures

He's started bringing flyheads into his apartmart, leaving them in a cage in your room when you're taking a shower, hiding it from view

You start feeling uneasy in your own room, spending more time in the living room with Nanami

He pretends like he doesn't notice the change, but he's vibrating with excitement once you start consistently sitting on the couch with him

He'll ask if you're all right (he knows you're not), and he'll act concerned when you start saying that you don't feel comfortable in the guest room

He wants to continue his plan quickly, but he needs to be patient so he just reassures you that you're safe and there's nothing to be scared of

But he just adds more curses to your room, to the point where they're affecting his emotional state too

Then one night you ask if it's alright for you to sleep on the couch bc you're not comfortable sleeping in your own bed

Nanami has a better idea

"I'd hate for you to sleep on the couch. You can take my bed, if you'd like."

"Oh, no, I couldn't! That's your bed, Kento, i dont want to take it."

"Well... I do have a king sized bed. We could always share, if that would make you feel better. But I completely understand if that crosses a line—"

"Oh! N-no, it's fine. We can, um... sleep together..."

He burns your shy expression into his brain, nodding slightly and humming, biting his cheek so he won't smile

He keeps his hands to himself on the first night, and the second and third and tenth

He wanted nothing more than to touch you, hold you, but he knows that he needs to gain your trust first. He knows that his plan won't really work unless you make the first move.

You don't start warming up to him until the tenth day, sleeping closer to his side of the bed, your knuckles grazing his arm while you sleep, making him light headed

Three days after that you work up the nerve to ask if you can cuddle up to him

Nanami is ecstatic, but he hides it well, nodding curtly and keeping his hands off of you while you sleep soundly with your head on his chest

You're warming up to him, surprised and grateful that you met such a gentleman 💕

What you dont know is that Nanami has to get up before you each morning and rush to the bathroom to take care of his aching hard on

You were so warm and your body was so soft against his and god he can smell your hair products and suddenly he biting his hand as he cums in the sink, wishing that he could cum inside you instead

He's so desperate to make you his already, but he has to be patient. The last thing he wants to do is scare away his precious darling after you've gotten so close to him

Anyways, you start sleeping against Nanami every night and you keep trusting him more and more and you think that you like him more than a friend uwu 👉👈

You're not sure how to bring this up without making him uncomfortable, but you eventually work up the nerve to tell him that you like him

And obviously Nanami reciprocates your feelings, but he plays it off very cool and casual as if he hasn't been obsessed with you since the moment you two met

"If I'm being honest, Y/N, I've liked you for a while too. I just wasn't sure how to approach the subject."

Damn, he's good sksksk

Anyways, guess who's dating ✌😜

Nanami is so happy and relieved. Finally his hard work has paid off and he can enjoy you the way he's always dreamed

The two of you take things slow at first, starting with tender touches and gentle kisses

Nanami feels as though he's died and gone to heaven when he finally gets to kiss you

Your lips are so plump and soft and your lip balm tastes so sweet and the way you let out desperate little whines and moans when he pulls your body flush to his—

You'd feel something hard press into your hip less than a minute later

"I'm sorry, darling. I just can't control myself around you. You make me go crazy~"

Don't even get me started on when yall finally fuck—

Yandere Nanami is very similar to regular Nanami when it comes to sex and his passion; main difference is that yandere Nanami is much more possessive

While regular Nanami doesn't care if strangers know that you're together, yandere Nanami needs everyone to know that you're his

You'll have dozens of love bites and hickeys littered across your exposed skin, all of them strategically placed so that everyone can see that you're already taken

Prepare for a shitload of body worship bc yandere Nanami is obSESSED with your plump frame 💕

His big strong hands will roam your body, slowly trailing your curves and rolls

He focuses on your chubby bits most, squeezing your belly, upper arms,

He has a huge breeding kink already, but it's ramped up to a ten when it comes to his precious darling

The thought of fucking you and filling you with his cum, getting you pregnant has him weak, just absolutely wrecked bc of you

Ok lemme get into the dark shit sksksk

Yandere Nanami probably has a feeder kink

Like the thought of feeding you and you eventually becoming so big that you're unable to leave the house, leaving you forced to stay with him and rely on him

It's not even the act of feeding you too much, it's the outcome of you being completely reliant on him that makes him woozy

Going back to the breeding kink, he would do everything in his power to get you pregnant from poking condoms to switching your birth control pills with sugar pills

He's downright desperate to get you pregnant, he wants to see you round and glowing and looking at him like he hung the stars in the sky

He wants you pregnant not only for those things, but it's another way to keep you home and away from everyone

He'd convince you to be a stay at home wife; you don't need to work once you have a baby, don't worry about a thing darling, he'll take care of you and the baby for the rest of your days

If you don't want to stay home, he'll switch on you real quick, locking you in the house or even going to far as to put an electric shock collar that immobilizes you if you step outside of the house's perimeter

He'd always be apologetic once he gets home, bringing you flowers and chocolates to make up for it

"Darling, please don't be angry with me. I'm only doing this to keep you safe, to keep our child safe. Why can't you just trust me?"

The king of gaslighting

You will definitely go insane from all the manipulative bullshit he'll put you through

It's alright tho. An insane wife is better than no wife at all 💕

#ask #nanami kento #yandere #yandere nanami kento #chubby reader #fem reader #smut #oof sorry for taking so long #☀️ asks

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ghostypetrainer · 2 years

Note

zoroark mama emmet on pasio is not having a good time. There's tons of other hims here, but they're all cooler than him, and worse, seem to be on good terms with that guy who Must Not Be Named who STOLE HIS FACE and is prolly some weird zorua! If only he could be someone else. Someone cooler, whose... identity... Wouldn't be questioned... *sees nobori running past, on the run from multiple ingo's and emmets, like he has multiple times in the past* wait! That's it!

That nobori is a really strong battler, from the times emmet has faced him in the past, and he's always running around with barely a moment to stop and talk to the people on this island! And his family is mysterious, other than that other emmet who hangs around him sometimes... So nobody will question it if nobori suddenly gets a "twin" who "only recently landed in pasio"! Plus he can get tips on battling from the other ppl always chasing him WITHOUT them knowing he has a weird zorua doppelganger! It's perfect (he ignores the question of whether the other emmet often seen w nobori would know and refute the twin thing, and also the question of how he's going to explain having eelektrik when nobori has a totally sinnohan partner Pokemon)!

So emmet gets some hair dye and reinvents himself as "kudari", nobori's long-lost brother who is so happy to be here and is totally not nervous and has never had overprotective parents! Just parents who never told him he had a brother! Nothing to see here, and he's totally not emmet you guys!

Emmet. Emmet please. This is not a viable solution, namely for the fact that Nobori will clock you right away!! But thankfully it manages to not blow up in his face, since Nobori does the adult thing and sits Emmet down and has a a long talk with him about why he felt the need to do something like this in the first place, and proves to be really helpful in working through his issues!

He also points out that all these other Emmets have Ingos, so maybe this Zorua isn't actually a Zorua but is actually his twin? Why not give getting to know him a shot? You might be pleasantly surprised by the results! And Emmet thanks him for the help, and vows to try and get to know this weird kid with his face, even though he's not TOTALLY convinced he's not a Zorua yet.

Meanwhile, Nobori's Emmet has been watching the whole thing from behind a bush. Nobori has been aware he's been watching the entire time and just tells him to come out already, and when he does, he just has the biggest shit eating grin on his face. LIke... that was some verrry good advice, Ingo. Verrry like you! But also verrry funny to hear coming out of a 14 year old.

Nobori just throws his shoe at him.

#asks #reincarnation au #zoroark mama au #emmet then proceeds to steal the shoe and run off with it #nobori just throws the other shoe at him as he flees #best throwing arm in unova. best throwing arm in hisui. best throwing arm in sinnoh #and now the best throwing arm in pasio #don't test him!!

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racicoricofalapatorius · 3 years

Text

Doctor x teen, autism,girl,timelord,! headcanon

A/N: no disrespect to anyone

the doctor finds the only other timelord out there except they’re actually a timetot meaning they are just a teen 16-year old (174) girl.

she's shy, sweet,kind,quirky, funny, observant, empathetic

finds it hard to express emotions

a pessimist

easily embaressed

the doctor loves her just the way she is

silent most of the time

platonic -father/daughter vibes-

she hates physical affection (except for his)

finds Donna too loud sometimes but has learned to love her

has a very fixed (black and white) mindset

hates change (regenerating hits pretty hard with her)

doesn’t understand a lot of social situations (but instead of the doctor getting annoyed he explains with a joke of course)

loyal

honest

prefers to talk to the doctor telepathically as she doesn’t like to talk out loud much

sensitive too loud sounds (the doctor has given her earmuffs for their action-packed adventures)

has a thing for order

fidgety

has hundreds of facts on her personal interests

awkward when comforting people (but she does her best)

frustrated

anxiety

very observant meaning she catches things the doctor doesn't

hyper-focused

finds it hard making eye contact

values her friends very highly

antisocial (prefers to curl up with a good book)

doesn’t like meeting new people

fidgets with the doctor’s sonic

very clever but humble

she is very tidy and coordinated (Can fly the Tardis properly)

blurts out facts but they sound a bit rude (she has learned to apologize)

goes over things in her head, trying to make sense of it and often gets in a loop of repetitions trapped in her mind

anger issues

when ppl take her the doctor turns into the oncoming storm

she bites

comes up with creative solutions to problems

has a lot of interests that she gets fixated on and blocks out the world working on little projects within her hobbies

comes off as blunt and rude (but is just putting in her opinion)

hates being venerable

has a need for control

gets kinda anxious about social situations

pushes ppl away not wanting to hurt them

even though it doesn’t seem it she cares. she really does.

when upset she only lets the doctor know but only very rarely

loses her shit sometimes

blurting out

head hitter (the doctor helps calm her down and grabs her hands and she leans in for a hug)

overprotective

hates breaking routine

doesn’t get racism/sexism/unjust moral mindsets (as they’re stupid)

blushes when given compliments and feels she doesn’t deserve them

not one for big speeches but instead makes short sentences getting to the point

the doctor loves to talk with her about her personal interests

she misreads social cues

overexplaining

speaking too quickly

finds it hard to open up and say what she feels

calls out ppl for their bullshit

doesn’t sass ppl a lot but when she does its a fucking rip

very observant (as she sits back noting everything) and then tells the doctor or just the group what the enemy is hiding/lying about

relaxed around friends tense around new ppl

stims: hand flapping, rocking, excessive blinking, pacing, headbanging, clenching fists, little hand things, bouncing, twirling, biting knuckles, chewing nails, repeating noises/words, snapping fingers,fidgeting

main stims: hand flapping, twirling, fiddling with hands

he was definitely thinking of her when regenerating

when he regenerated it took her a while to adjust but eventually, the doctor showed her he was still himself

she loves his new personality as hes a lot more like her ({y/n}: i know you were thinking about me when you regenerated. DOCTOR: Of course. i don’t think of anything else)

she calls out Amy for the way she treats Rory

she and the doctor can go on and on for hours on their special interests

the doctor helps her see that change is not necessarily a bad thing but then again not necessarily easy

she prefers to stay in and read but goes out on adventures because its time with him

they both share more things in common

whenever he gets to dark she is always there to stop him

she doesn’t mind it when he holds hands with her

the doctor loves seeing the world through her eyes

their relationship has grown stronger

they love each other for who they are

#doctor x reader #doctor x teen #autism #doctor who autism #tenth doctor #eleventh doctor #doctor who companions #doctor who #doctor who headcanons

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toxooz · 3 years

Note

What’s up with Gracrux? You mentioned he has dragon feet but looks harpy. How’s he come about? Lore wise and as a character? Also Rip Valon. The look on his face literally screams wtf have I done

ROIGHT SO he's a whole ass dragon since 'dragon' can have all kinds of varieties also I’ve been meaning to redesign his facial structure a bit to look a bit more subtly animalistic and less of a regular human face also he's got 4 wings and eyes and he can breathe fire and the circles on his wings can catch on fire as well

im assuming the feathers that make up the circle pattern are super flammable (perhaps naturally producing a chemical to make them that way) and the feathers around the circles can somehow create sparks by rubbing against eachother that allows the circles to catch on fire but yeah those are the key qualities as to why he's more classified as a dragon than harpy. and the sTORY buckle up bc its long and ill probs save this on google docs to b safe when im done lmao but basically there’s a big ol Queen harpy thats pretty much the same size as him (i still have to sit down and design her UGHH)( i currently see her in my in my head as like all white with some red accents but it may change) idk what their beef quite was yet but what I'm going with currently is Gracrux likes his environments to be literally fire and ash and smoky and swampy and just gross man ig how his species lives, and the harpies need trees and plants and fresh air and food and not die of lung diseases from all the smoke lmao so the queen made the land abundant of all that stuff but Gracrux ofc had a huge issue with that. He started setting mass fires everywhere destroying the harpies world and back then the queen was much more active among the harpies and she would fight him off when she could, but eventually she got tired of it so she hurriedly created a portal to a world where the harpies could have a safe haven until everything calmed down and surprise surprise it’s the human/monster world, so all the harpies rushed through the portal. Since this was quite literally an overnight thing, the monster world was overwhelmed with all of the new harpies literally everywhere, eating crops/ animals and other livestock and building their homes in Very Inconvenient places as they tried to cope with the new world so very soon the harpies were considered pests. It was encouraged to hunt them, catch them ect. so u bet ur ass ppl went to town hunting them for sport or for their feathers, talons, ect. and if they were ''rare'' or pretty they were often kept as pets or for shows or just stuffed u name it . Back at the other world Gragrux finally got the world to be gross and fire-ridden so he went in his giant dead tree in the middle of a bog that stretched on for hundreds of miles and went dormant (like IN that tree he burrowed down the middle of it almost to the roots). The queen was trying to find a better long term world to stay in or to find a solution but she saw how the harpies were being severely mistreated in the monster world and got fed up. She returned to their original world and realized that Gracrux was in snooz town (his species probably goes dormant for like 1000s of years) so she quickly fixed up the world back up again, leaving anywhere near Gracruxs bog untouched to keep him asleep until she figured out how to kill him. She made another portal back to the harpy world in a super discreet place that's almost impossible to find and signaled all the harpies to come back which was basically the Mass Exodus that I'd be talking abt. Very few harpies couldn't make it back due to being in captivity so they got left behind which going on through the timeline the inevitable meshing of genes would make half harpy monsters, like Eli:

but he is much further down the line when all this went down so the harpy genes are very much dying out, which is why he has malformed wings that are too small so he can’t fly and mangy looking feathers as opposed to the very smooth appearance of the original harpies and he is small in general while original harpies are like 10-15 ft tall.

The Queen decided to devote her time to trying to figure out all of the possible outcomes of the overall situation, so she created Lilac to help out with the harpies and to watch over the land and to guard it making sure nothing from the other side of the portal finds its way in there(👀):

Lilac has the ability to grow plants n such like she can; she on the other hand went down in her own big ol tree that no one knows about and probably does like magic or something down there to experiment so nobody really saw the queen much anymore while Lilac kinda took her place as the overall “dad” of the harpies like they all look up to him, consider him a god to some extent, ect. Hundreds of years down the line and p much all the harpies have never seen the queen and most of them don’t even think she’s real while others go by a superstition that if you see her while flying you’ve been blessed in some way sO there’s all kinds of speculations about her, but only Lilac sees her almost regularly when he visits to give reports and updates. Gracrux stays asleep until a certain grudgie budgie (half jokingly??) woke him up to see if he could outfly him 🤦‍♀️ not to spoil too much tho BUT YEAH not to make a Long Post but i had to get retyping all that bc it vanished with my old blog out of the way so i may as well 😅 THX 4 THE ASK

#gracrux #valon #harpy #lilac #cinder #long post #eli

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oinkawa-bb · 4 years

Text

first time dads!haikyuu pt.3

request: Hiii I just read everything you’ve posted and I. Am. In. Love with your writingggg! I was hope to request a part 3 for your first-time dad series for Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kenma, and Akaashi :) -@lollypop-lam

note: ahhhh!!!! helloo bb~~ thank you so much for your luv<3333 i was rly not expecting so many ppl to read this series!! but i enjoy writing it so here’s a part 3 for you (i tried to add more variety of scenarios for y/n so it’s not all the same!) hehe i hope you like it! thank you for ur request!<3 here is dad!tsukki, akaashi, yams, and kenma

mentions: pregnancy, domesticity, fluff, slight angst, timeskip, fem!reader

part one (daichi, kuroo, oikawa)

part two (iwaizumi, suna, atsumu, osamu)

☀︎—kei tsukishima

he already knew something was different since the day you took the test

kei could sense that you were tenser than usual

Exhibit A was when you slightly jumped as he placed one hand gently on the small of your back,

it was really nothing out of the ordinary...

so he raises an eyebrow at you, not saying anything, but just questioning with his curious expression

you bite your lip,,,,

this was unplanned and even though you’ve recently discussed having kids, you’re worried about how kei might feel because honestly you’re pretty anxious,

but when you break the news to him,

the corners of his mouth are upturned into a soft grin

and he quietly pulls you into a hug

you also could’ve sworn that there were tear stains that he left on your shirt after

but when ur in his arms while he’s whispering about how excited he is, you know that you’re ready to have a family with him<33

tsukki likes to express his care for you and his child through subtle affectionate gestures,,

like his favorite thing to do when he comes home from work is envelop you in a back hug,

and he likes to run his large hands gently over your bump, waiting for a kick

when he feels one, you bet your ass that this man is grinning bc he just can’t hide his excitement !!!

i feel like he’d be a super cautious dad-to-be,

like if you’re given prenatal vitamins or told not to eat certain foods,

he has scrutinized the labels and the internet to make sure everything in the house is safe for you and his bb<33

during your whole pregnancy, he’s more logical and clear-minded, but there’s a stark contrast on the day you actually go into labor owo

like i’m talking sweat beads running down the side of his forehead

and his hand clutching yours for dear life as he guides you to the hospital room

during the entire labor, tsukishima can’t be separated from you...

like when you get up to go to the bathroom and make him stand outside, he’s leaned against the door with his arms crossed

he’s acting like a bodyguard?? but like for what idk

he’s quite tense until his baby makes their appearance,

but when he does get to hold the baby, his body is wracked with silent sobs and he’s overcome with a wave of emotion

he’s silent on the outside,

but his mind can’t even begin to process the monumental amount of love he feels for u and this little bb <333 🥺🥺🥺

dad tsukki has fallen in love all over again.

☀︎—keiji akaashi

akaashi slips into the bedroom when he hears ur sniffling,,

your back faces him, but he can tell that ur hunched over something in your hands...

when he approaches you and sees that your eyes are puffy n swollen,

his voice is filled with concern,

“what’s wrong?”

it takes a moment for you to choke out your words but you manage,

“keiji, i-i’m scared,”

then he catches sight of the white stick in your hands,

and he sees two faint lines sitting on its little screen

he takes a seat next to you, pulling your body against his and pressing a kiss to the temple of your forehead,,,

“what are you scared of when you have me?”

the two of you have a long conversation that night,,

mostly with akaashi reassuring you that he’s prepared for whatever decision you make and that he’ll always be there to support you🥺

the next morning,

you’ve calmed down and thought clearly about this, realizing that many of your anxieties stemmed from how keiji would react,

but after realizing his willingness to support you,

you can’t help but smile and press a hand to your belly as you look in the mirror in the bathroom

and when akaashi sees this, his heart is so full and excited!!!🥺

throughout your pregnancy, akaashi is overwhelmingly supportive and emotionally reliable,,

he listens to your concerns both physically and mentally, helping you talk through your worries and find solutions,,

he’s also suuuper intimate with you,

bathing and pampering you,

staying up late to talk with you,

waking you up with kisses nd breakfast in bed,,

he’s just the most perfect partner to you.

and every day you spend beside him reaffirms your excitement to have his child

when the day arrives, you’re beyond anxious,

he can just tell from little gestures you make that you’re more nervous than ever before,

so akaashi has one hand on you at all times during labor, so you can physically feel his support

the process couldn’t have gone more smoothly than it did, and akaashi’s so grateful

and when he gets to hold the baby against his own chest,

he’s smiling through the tears that are welling up bc

his eyes now lay upon the most beautiful replica of you.

fugg i luv keiji🥰🥰🥰

☀︎—tadashi yamaguchi

the day you tell yamaguchi you’re pregnant?

he’s probably crying.

no, he’s definitely crying.

he’s also definitely overexcited

so when he went in for a hug, he immediately lets go bc he’s worried that he hugged you too tightly🥺

he’s just a ball of emotions and kind of all over the place!!

but he gets it together asap and is already on dad duty the very next day

making doctor’s appointments, listing purchases to be made, planning for your baby shower, n anything he can do to be prepared

he makes many a few unnecessary purchases

something like a bougie hundred dollar memory foam pregnancy pillow for u

and a temperature controlled collapsible baby stroller for his bb

his heart was in the right place but his money was not asdgfd

but he wants to treat you like the queen that you are,

so he’s always excited to come home to see you after work

and he likes to bring home things that will make you happy

food and baby clothes and flowers uwuwu

i also think tadashi came up with the idea to start scrapbooking the memories of your soon to be little family of three <33

so he takes cute little polaroids to keep them in a scrapbook

and he also definitely keeps a lil photo of the baby’s ultrasound in his wallet that he often takes peeks at while at work

and he can’t help but smile and tear up at the thought of starting a family w u 🥰

every morning, he just feels so blessed to wake up to the sight of you n your lil bump aka his future child ?!?!!?

and when that realization registers in his brain,

he just has to pull you close to him, plant a kiss to ur belly, and cuddle you for as long as he wants <333

the day you go into labor, yamaguchi lugs like 3 hospital bags frantically out of the house (he definitely stuffed them fully to the brim)

he’s overall pretty anxious but he’s mostly anxious about the pain you’re going thru🥺

with each hour that passes at the hospital, he’s pacing the room back and forth, always coming back to ur bedside to hold ur hand and kiss it many times

when the time finally comes, yamaguchi can’t believe that he’s actually seeing his child irl

like.... he’s in awe of the beauty of his child, just utterly speechless...

it registers a little bit later and he’s crying again

but back home, yamaguchi is always so eager to take care of his baby and he’ll do anything n everything to take care of his child and help u rest and recover

dad yamaguchi melts my heart

☀︎—kozume kenma

so u decide to plan a little surprise for kenma one morning

and he’s all groggy from just waking up,

but he peeks his eyes open when he hears you shuffling back and forth right at his bedside,,

he sees that you’re only wearing a white oversized tee and he’s about to pull u back in bed for more sleep,

but then kenma’s eyes focus on the text that’s handwritten in sharpie in the center of the shirt over your stomach

“kenma jr.”

he’s never seen this shirt before, and then he’s realizing what it means and his eyes widen in anticipation !!!

so u crawl on top of him and lay your head on his chest while he’s processing,,

“you’re—?”

“yes, kozume. i am.”

he’s smiling with his eyes closed,

and he lifts his head to kiss your hair before wrapping his arms around you and whispering in your ear that “he doesn’t know a kenma jr. but he can’t wait to meet them”

you swat at his chest jokingly, and he smiles even wider,

but you don’t see the love that resonates deeply in his eyes when he looks down at you🥺

bc you end up falling asleep on him lmaooo

but ever since that day, kenma is on high alert whether it looks like it or not...

he’s especially protective of u in public,

observing those closest to you and gently shifting you out of the way when someone gets too close...

kenma is most affectionate though when he thinks you’re not aware,,

meaning he likes to run his hand over your stomach, admire your sleeping expression, nd gently kiss your hair

all while he thinks you’re asleep but you’re not tho and it makes ur heart explode

kenma also doesn’t struggle to sleep at night, but he ends up choosing to stay awake for as long as u are

and he stays awake even after u fall asleep bc he likes to whisper some of the sweetest words to just kenma jr uwuwuwu

on the day when kenma accompanies you to the hospital, he’s listening intently to the patterns of your breathing,

so he knows when the pain is worst and he holds onto you tighter during those times,,

after hours of labor, kenma ends up super teary eyed at the sight of his baby,

he’s silently swaying the baby in his arms nd just thinking about how much his heart is overfilling with luv...

he knows kenma jr now... and he loves kenma jr with his whole heart<333

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palmett-hoes · 4 years

Note

per your post "every single one of the monsters is autistic and/or adhd" will you elaborate on that?, if you do i will love you forever (not that i wont if you dont do it)

oh boy i would love to!!! unironically nothing brings me more joy than writing long, convoluted character analysis posts

---

okay so i’ve written several posts before about why andrew is autistic. his moral code, the roundabout way he communicates, his body language, his stimulation-seeking behavior, his strict adherence to transactional deals, the emphasis on honesty, and a dozen other details. at this point i just take andrew being autistic as fact, not just an interpretation

h o w e v e r i also hc that andrew is dyslexic, which is also a neurodiverse condition

- - -

similarly, i’ve seen more than one person interpret kevin as autistic, and i absolutely agree that it fits. not just the hyperfocus on exy but mostly the way he communicates. he’s very indirect, especially in his affection but very direct with his opinions. he tries to be helpful in a material way to the people he cares about, even if he comes off as negative. he wants the people he cares about to be safe and successful so he pushes them to work hard and reminds them in measurable ways how to stay healthy. he doesn’t factor in a lot of room for emotions, so instead he focuses on quantifiable things that he can improve. i personally act very similarly. approaching someone emotionally is hard for me, so when the people i care about have problems all i can think to do is try offering solutions, check up on their well-being, etc. practicality instead of conventional sentiment is extremely common with asd

- - -

so now let’s talk about neil. i had to think on this one for a WHILE but ultimately came to the conclusion that neil is adhd, probably hyperactive type.

like obviously neil is high energy. i would say he probably does the most exercise of anyone on the team. morning run, morning practice, afternoon practice, night practice with kevin and andrew, plus he doesn’t have a car so he runs to class (on a BIG ass campus), and goes for an extra run when he feels stressed. that’s... insane, honestly.

neil reminds me SO MUCH of this post that goes:

“Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood”

(phenomenal post) and that’s neil to a t. tell me this isn’t exactly how neil handles his problems and also exactly what mary would have had to do to keep her unmedicated and very energetic son focused on the task of staying alive

neil also definitely has that ADHD on/off switch with his interest. the obvious being exy which is like the definition of a hyperfixation, but you can see it in other things: the way he runs totally hot or totally cold with people, his complete disinterest in his schoolwork, the way he can’t seem to sit still long enough to follow movies. but then there’s also the hyperfocus. doing the same drill for hours on end. watching exy game after exy game. staring at andrew until time falls away

what’s more, neil on many occasions shows racing thoughts, both in an anxiety way (and anxiety often goes hand-and-hand with adhd) but also as a way to quickly and accurately take in details about people to build a character profile of them. this is what allows him to connect with the foxes, how he manages to get through andrew’s puzzles, and even how he knows what to say in order to knock riko down a peg. his brain just works so fast and it takes in a lot of very specific details and disparate information to make connections.

but also like,, neil has a HUGE problem with time blindness. like the instant he didn’t have his mother around to manage and direct him anymore he lost all sense of time. he stayed in Millport for a YEAR. and what did he keep telling himself during that time? basically “i really need to move on, but not just yet.” for a YEAR! then he gets to palmetto and he’s like “i’ll cut and run in a month or two” then he doesn’t “i’ll be gone by halloween” wrong again “i’ll leave by the raven’s game” nope. like,, the boy just has NO sense of time and he can’t seem to make himself DO anything outside of an externally enforced schedule. and even then,,, HE HAD 48 FUCKING DAYS TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING TO DO TO NOT GET MURDERED! 48 WHOLE DAYS. he didn’t make a plan, he didn’t write down any letters with goodbyes, he didn’t GO TO THE FBI LIKE HE’D INTENDED TO THE WHOLE TIME! nah he just made out with andrew and when he finally got to zero he was just like “ah shit, that was fast. oh well guess i’ll die” and that’s time blindness, babey!

---

let’s move on to nicky.

now i think it would be really easy to say nicky is just adhd because he’s high energy and forgetful but tbh,, i don’t think that’s all of it. like if you really look at nicky’s character and especially at his problems, he has asd problems just as much as he has adhd problems.

so nicky is dual diagnosis asd and adhd. also nicky reminds me a lot of a girl i used to know who was autistic/adhd

so, adhd:

very generally speaking, ppl with adhd will struggle with sitting still, listening to and following instructions, planning/organization, following a schedule, and some social boundaries like “appropriate” times and topics of conversation

i would say you see hints of this with nicky. he’s definitely a rambunctious personality, constantly on the move, constantly stimulation seeking. he’s very tactile. he likes to dance, he likes to party, he complains about it but he’s an elite-level athlete. he’s also decidedly very chatty, and doesn’t seem to really pay attention to what he’s saying. he distracts himself and the people around him have to keep him on track. he has some trouble with boundaries. he’s a little all over the place. he’s almost a bit of an adhd stereotype

also one thing i find interesting is that when neil sees him in the library doing work neil is surprised to see he’s capable of that, especially bc when we see the upperclassmen doing work they generally do it in their dorms or on the bus and/or with other people around. that hyper-social nicky would be alone in a quiet place is weird. but this is like the most common tip for dealing with adhd. don’t do it in a familiar space. have a designated space and time to do work. limit distractions. just a lil detail

so now, asd:

in all honesty, most of nicky’s actual problems in the narrative could be viewed as stemming from asd symptoms. his number one issue being that he has a lot of trouble with nonverbal cues (and tbh, verbal ones too). the twins are mostly quiet. andrew especially (when he’s sober) communicates primarily nonverbally, and nicky seems to have a lot of trouble with this. despite knowing them for the longest on the team, nicky honestly seems to have the least insight into the way either of the twins actually thinks or processes things. he loves them, and he’s very forgiving of them, but he fundamentally doesn’t understand them.

the twins, andrew especially, put up a LOT of nonverbal boundaries, and nicky sort of inadvertently keeps trampling all over them. he’s touchy in a way they don’t like. he talks a lot about their personal lives to other people. he treats them like they’re joking when they’re serious. etc. and like,,, you kind of get the sense that the upperclassmen feel similarly about him. beyond the homophobia, beyond the fact that he’s loyal to andrew, the upperclassmen still treat him with this sense of,, bafflement, i suppose? it’s clear that they don’t really understand him and he doesn’t really understand them. although, nicky IS curious about the upperclassmen, while the upperclassmen are pretty dismissive of him. it reminds me of when my sweet, floppy dog tries to play with my cat. their body language is different; they’re each receiving different signals than they believe they’re sending out

only,, nicky loves people!! he likes being around them, he likes talking to them. he’s interested in their lives and stories, but it’s very clear that he can’t read between the lines on people. he has an incredibly hard time with people who expect their actions to speak for them, which is most people, but is especially his cousins.

actually this is very much also an issue that i have: things need to be spelled out for me. the way i deal with it is i ask a lot of questions. ‘how do you want me to react to this potential situation?’ ‘what are specific things that make you most comfortable?’ ‘please explain to me exactly how you feel and what has prompted those feelings?’ and i’m always communicating vice versa like that with other people. a lot of specifics in both questions and answers

and the interesting thing is, when i was skimming through the books reviewing dialogue styles for another ask, i noticed that, actually, nicky DOES do this. with neil and the upperclassmen, nicky asks a LOT of quick, clarifying questions. things that ask after tone, that ask after intent. it’s kinda sad that he does this for communicating with acquaintances, but with the twins, the people he’s closest to, he makes a lot more assumptions. and i’m really proud of nicky for having this coping skill, because i can’t imagine it’s something he grew up doing. there’s no way he was raised in an environment that fostered this kind of open communication so it must have been something he learned about much later, probably in germany with the kloses, which would also explain why he’s a lil imperfect about it

---

now last but not least, aaron

this is another one i had to think through for a long time before it felt like it fit

much like how i felt that it would be easy to read nicky as simply adhd rather than also asd, i think it would be easy to say aaron is autistic simply because he is quieter, less rambunctious. however, i actually think he’s adhd, likely primarily inattentive type

in all honesty, aaron’s #1 character trait for the first two books is basically that he’s disconnected. detached. separated both from his family and his team. not in the same forcefully apathetic way that andrew is, more,, spaced out. he’s just kind,, there. not really paying attention to what’s going on, tuning in every once in a while only if something really catches his eye/ear then tuning right back out again. just sits in his corner and plays on his phone. and the thing is, from the moments when he does tune in, you can tell that he actually does care. he backs nicky when seth insults him in tfc, and we know he cares deeply about andrew even if he’s become disillusioned with their fraught relationship. he even hangs with his family, doesn’t seem to really try and slip away to other friends besides katelyn, he’s fine spending his leisure time with the monsters. so it’s not totally apathy, he’s just,,, tuned out most of the time

and, yea, that sounds like adhd. it’s not the type that most people are familiar with, and for a lot of people this causes it to slip under the radar. it can make it hard to get help or a dx because it doesn’t fit with how adhd “should” look or how someone “should” act, but difficulty focusing your thoughts and staying in tune with the current moment is absolutely part of adhd

addiction is also a huge problem for people with adhd. a lot of stimulants affect people with adhd very differently than neurotypicals, especially in small doses, and an adhd kid who’s struggled their whole lives with the disorder might try speed or god-forbid meth or fuck even coffee and suddenly find that things are a lot easier for them. they start to self-medicate, they don’t actually know what they’re doing, and then they’re addicted, and everything spirals out of control. we don’t know too many details about aaron’s addiction other than that his mother enabled him, but wouldn’t this fit? it’s also an explanation for aaron still taking drugs at eden’s, given that cracker dust seems to be a mild amphetamine. (aaron talk to betsy about the neurocog and get an actual prescription please)

(total throw away but aaron plays videogames and videogames are like,, adhd culture)

#Anonymous #txt #andrew minyard #kevin day #neil josten #nicky hemmick #aaron minyard #my posts #im talkin #cw addiction #cw addiction mentioned

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