#these pics are gonna be more behind the scenes i guess and setting everything up
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i've been spending so much time getting my game together, and i'm finally at a point where i think i can post regularly (or at least try) and i've come up with a story idea and everything. anyway pics to come
#this won't be like a scripted story i actually want to make it into a lets play#this is me manifesting that dream#these pics are gonna be more behind the scenes i guess and setting everything up#also i still need to dl a lot more cc and mods before i actually get to playing and i have to add more sims but its all starting now#and im feeling really good about it!
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Desperate Measures 2
Warnings: nonconsent and rape (miniseries); stalking, fear, intimidation, fingering, toyplay, fuck machine, control, overstimulation, cock ring, oral
This is dark!Steve Rogers and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: At first, you think it’s a joke when you get the strange messages, but when they don’t stop, you realise too late how real it all is.
Note: Okay, here’s the last half!
Thank you. Love you guys!
Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3
Part 1
I can't let this, I can't let this go When I got you right where I want you I been pushing for this for so long
💌
You put your to-go box in the fridge. Your appetite was all but gone after the encounter but Eva barely seemed to notice as her gushing went from the unexpected cameo of America’s hero to Ray again. Another argument meant she was holding out to punish him but you knew it wouldn’t last. She was already incessantly checking her phone.
You sat as she took selfies on Snap and shared them in her passive aggressive way. You knew this dance. She’d keep going until she got a reaction. You took your own phone but hesitated before you lit up the screen. It unlocked as it registered your face and the number over your inbox made you wince.
It was like a story in itself, the unanswered text bubbles lined the rectangle; ‘where’d you go, sweetheart’ to ‘what’s wrong?’ to ‘I will find you’ to ‘you better answer me, sweetheart’. You could almost hear them in Steve’s deep tones and it made you shiver. The phone suddenly vibrated and sent another wave through you.
‘Seven tonight. I’ll meet you in front of the bar,’ the message said tersely.
You lowered the phone as Eva searched for better lighting and angled her phone around as she pouted. You watched her and the phone buzzed again. You looked down at the next message.
‘You answer me, sweetheart.’ Still all you could do was stare blankly until you felt another jolt, ‘either you come to me or I come to you.’
The threat was clear. It wasn’t just about you. He knew you were at Eva’s and you had no doubt he would break through any obstacle between you. You saw him sitting across from you in the restaurant, felt the way his eyes bore into you.
‘Okay,’ you texted back. It was all you could handle.
Eva giggled and flopped down on the sofa, “oooh, Ray is so mad.”
“Uh huh,” you murmured as the heart emoji popped up on your screen.
“I sent him the pic I got with the Captain,” she smirked, “he’s so jealous.”
“Do you two ever stop?” you rolled your eyes and set aside your phone.
“Babe, he might be a jackass but the way he serves--”
“Say no more,” you pointed your thumb down your throat, “please.”
💌
Eva was gone before seven. You were thankful that you wouldn’t need to explain yourself to her but disappointed nonetheless. You walked the block down to the bar and stood by the corner of the low wrought iron fence that lined the busy patio. You held your phone in your hand and hugged yourself with one arm. You felt sick and numb.
You felt a light touch on your elbow and spun. Steve smiled down at you as he wore a ball cap and dark blue jacket.
“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting,” he said, “I got a bit held up--”
“Why are you doing this?” you asked, finally finding your voice.
“Sweetheart,” he warned as his lips straightened, “I don’t like to be interrupted.”
“I don’t understand,” you hissed, “I just don’t. I don’t know why you’re doing this.”
“Why I’m doing what? Why I love you? Sweetheart, you need to be better to yourself and if you can’t do that, then I guess I have to,” he tickled your cheek with his fingertips, “are you hungry?”
“No,” you crossed your arms as he glanced over at the patio, “please, just stop. Leave me alone.”
He closed his eyes and his jaw tensed. He swallowed and his hand dropped to your shoulder. His thumb rubbed your shoulder through your light cardigan.
“Don’t be like this,” he said, “after all I’ve done for you. After--”
“I never asked for any of it,” you croaked.
“You interrupt me again,” he squeezed your upper arm and leaned in, “and there will be consequences.”
Your eyes widened and you gaped up at him. He grinned and dropped his hand to take yours. He drew you away from the hedges along the fence and walked you down the street.
“Since you’re not hungry, I guess we can just go home,” he tugged on you as you dragged your feet and you stumbled to catch up. It felt as if he would crush your hand as he stopped by a sleek car and reached into his pocket to unlock it with a chirp, “sweetheart,” his tone was grizzly as he exhaled in frustration, “I don’t like this. This isn’t you.” He opened the door and loomed over you as he lowered his voice to a whisper, “be a good girl.”
He nudged you into the car and you sat heavily as he shut the door with snap. Your hands shook as you turned your phone over and hit the emergency call number. Before you could hit the nine, he was in the driver’s seat and ripped your phone from your grasp. The doors locked with a loud click.
“What do you think the police will do for you?” he growled as he started the car, “do you think they’ll believe you? You think they don’t have a record of all the crazed fangirls who ever followed me around?” he scoffed and reached over to slap your thigh, “buckle up…” he lifted his hand and stroked your neck, “we don’t want you getting hurt, do we?”
You slowly pulled the belt over and buckled it. You were trembling so much it took several tries. You let out a brittle breath and sank back against the seat, “no,” you said quietly as you glanced out the window.
“Good,” he said as he drove with one hand still on your leg, “I only want to keep you safe.”
💌
The walk-up looked like any other on the street. She iron railing along the concrete steps, the faded brick, the frosted glass slats of the front door, and the twisted metal numbers just above the mailbox. Steve walked behind you and kept you trapped between him and the door as he unlocked it.
You entered if just to get away from him and he calmly locked the door as he followed. He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it with his cap on the hook along the wall. He waited and crossed his arms as he watched you expectantly. You hesitated and pulled off your cardigan. He took it and draped it beside his jacket.
You froze and stared at the shoe rack. There were several pairs of women’s shoes in the cubbies and the hooks not only held his own jackets, but at least two meant for a female counterpart. You took a step back and peered around. Your blood turned to ice as you saw yourself smiling back from a photo; a picture printed out from your social media.
“I’m still working on some things,” he said as he followed your gaze and adjusted the frame on the hook, “of course, you can bring some stuff over to make it more homey.”
“What…” the air rushed from your lungs and your head spun.
You backed up and caught yourself on the wall. You were losing your mind. This couldn’t be real. None of it. He was crazy.
“Let me show you around,” he didn’t seem to notice your distress, or he just didn’t care. He grabbed your hand again and pulled you away from the wall.
You let him guide you through the front room, the dining room, the kitchen and back up the hall as he pointed out the half-bath. You didn’t process much of it and as he urged you up the stairs, you tripped and hit your knees on the next step. He helped you up swiftly, his arm around you as he walked you up the rest of the way.
You could hardly support your own weight. He sat you down on a bench along the wall as you struggled to breathe. He knelt before you and framed your face with his hands.
“I was gonna wait,” he said, “but you made me do this. And now neither of us are ready but this how it has to be.”
You reached up and grabbed his hands as you stared back at him in horror. He didn’t even flinch as he kept his hands around your face.
“Get yourself together,” he said darkly, “now.”
He dropped his hands and stood. You watched him and nodded. You gulped and got to your feet, your legs weak but you forced yourself to stand.
“I’m sorry,” you said without thinking. He smiled and your heart dropped. Why were you apologising to him? You weren’t wrong, you were trapped.
“Come on,” he shoved you ahead of him and pointed you past the open bathroom door. You peeked in as you passed and stopped at the next, “go in.”
You entered the room. It was a tidy bedroom with everything in its place. The rug, the chair, the bed, the sheets, the dresser; everything was finely arranged and painted a scene you found in lifestyle magazines. He brushed by you and pointed to the door at the other side of the bed.
“Your closet,” he said.
You went forward and opened the door as he watched. He flicked the switch as you poked your head in to look around at the hangers. There were more clothes in the closet than you ever had. Some of them were even identical to pieces you already owned.
“Before we move on,” he went to the dresser and the subtle whisper of the drawer sliding out pulled your attention back to the room, “you should change.”
He laid out a frilly lavender piece. The fabric was see-through and there was no crotch. There were flowers embroidered where your nipples would be, the fabric ruched along straps. You looked at him and back at the flimsy lingerie.
“I’ll wait outside,” he backed away, “surprise me.”
“I… Steve--”
“Captain or sir,” he corrected as he filled the doorway with his broad figure, his hand on the handle, “you will learn the rules as we go.”
“I can’t--”
“You can,” he insisted, “rule number one: you address me properly. Rule number two, you do what I say. Rule number three,” he held up three fingers, “you break the rules and there will be consequences. Don’t make me repeat myself again.”
He stepped into the hall and slammed the door. You flinched and looked back at the purple bodysuit. You shuddered and sniffed as your eyes tingled and your nose tickled. You wanted to break down and cry but your fear kept your tears inside. You undressed and pulled on the dainty lingerie.
He knocked just as you finished and pushed open the door without response. His lips parted as his eyes roved your body and you tried to fold in on yourself. He waved you forward and you reluctantly crossed the room. His fingers danced along the seam along your side and lingered just along your pelvis. You may as well be naked.
He gestured you further down the hall to the door at the very end. He slapped your ass as you walked ahead of him and he groaned. You stopped as you saw the thick latch above the handle and you felt him against your back as he caught up.
“It’s unlocked… for now,” he said.
You opened the door as the lightbulb bloomed to life on a censor but you couldn’t cross the threshold. Your mouth hung open as you looked around at the walls, sketches of you pasted across every inch. In all of them, you were naked and contorted in some lurid position; some alone, some with Steve, others you were strapped own while a few had you touching yourself.
You took a step back and collided with Steve. He urged you inside with his body and the door closed. You peered around as he turned to lock the door but there wasn’t a keyhole but a keypad. You couldn’t see what he pressed as he shielded it with his back and your legs threatened to collapse again.
More than the pictures on the wall, the room was a personal playground. There was a bench in the middle that was fit for those kinkier videos you found on the internet, with straps hooked in rings along the legs.
Aside from that, there were leather cuffs, crops, and other whips lined up neatly over a table, surrounded by a litany of silicon, metal and glass toys. In the corner, there was a boxy machine on wheels with a rod sticking out of it.
You spun around and Steve caught you. You reached over his shoulder for the door as panic flowed through you like electricity.
“Please,” you begged, “please, let me go. You can’t--”
“Sweetheart,” he cooed as he took you off your feet and carried you further into the room, “tonight, we’re just getting you ready…”
“No, no, no,” you ranted as you struggled against him, “no, I can’t--”
He threw you down on your feet and as you wobbled, he caught your throat, “never say no to me,” his eyes flared with anger, “do you understand?”
You swallowed and nodded stiffly above his large hand, “yes..”
“Yes, what?” he sneered.
“Yes, sir,” you forced out, “I… I…”
“Will you be good?” he asked as he lifted a brow.
“I’ll be good, sir,” you echoed.
“Turn around,” he released you harshly and you staggered awkwardly until your back was to him.
He rounded you and grabbed your wrist, he pulled you to the cushioned horse and urged you up onto it with a curt order. As he strapped you in, your panic spiked again and you pulled with a squeal of terror.
“If you continue to struggle, it will only be worse,” he said as he buckled in your ankle, your pelvis prone over the end of the bench, “sweetheart, I have to train you because right now, you’re being bad. I can’t love you if you’re bad.”
“Please,” you eked out, “Steve, this isn’t you. You’re-- you’re Captain America--”
“And you’re mine,” he snarled and grabbed the back of your neck as he stood and pushed your head down against the bench.
He trailed his hand down your back and slapped your ass. The strike stung badly and you whimpered as you braced for another. It never came and you sensed him move away from you. You turned your head to watch him as he went to the table but could not see what he was doing.
He spun back and marched around the back of the horse. You tried to crane your head up to keep an eye on him and he smacked your ass again.
“Eyes forward,” he commanded.
You turned your head straight as you let out a whine and he pushed his hand down your thigh. He prodded your ass with the toy in his other hand and the soft click turned to buzz as the vibrations reverberated through your flesh. He rolled it down and pressed along your folds. You squeaked at the sudden ripple it sent through you.
“Just relax,” he coaxed as he pushed between your folds and cupped the toy against your clit, his hand nestled between the leather and your cunt. Every muscle in your body tensed and you gritted your teeth as your core burned to life, “that’s it, sweetheart,” he kneaded your ass with his other hand, “gotta get you ready for me.”
You muffled a sob and pressed your cheek to the bench. You curled your fingers around the metal legs and braced yourself against the rising pleasure. His touch crawled down your ass as he rolled the toy against your bud and he pushed a finger into you. You moaned as he pulled in and out.
“That’s it,” he purred and added another finger, “sweetheart, you’re so tight. So tight for me.”
Your breath hitched as clicked the toy to a higher setting and his fingers sped up inside you as he bent them to reach that most tender spot. Your voice wisped from you without restraint and your eyes rolled back as the pleasure smothered your fear.
“I don’t think you’re ready,” he said, “too tight…” he fucked you even harder with his hand, “you need more.”
Your cunt clenched around him as you came and your walls twitched against his thick fingers. An ocean of pleasure washed over you as he teased your clit to the point of pain. You cried out at the overstimulation as your orgasm crashed down on you. You barely had time to catch your breath as he brought you to another peak and you whined desperately through your teeth.
He slid his fingers out slowly and spread your juices down your thigh and left the toy beneath you as he freed his hand. He backed away and you heard the sloppy noise of him sucking on his wet fingers. Your eyes fluttered open as he went to the table again and wiped his hand on his jeans.
He came back to you and pushed down the straps of the lingerie. He lifted you the inch allotted by the restraint and pinched your nipples with the metal clamps, letting the chain hang between them as he dropped you back down. You grumbled as the feeling plucked at your core.
He returned to the table then went to the corner. You looked up as he rolled the machine towards you, a dildo screwed onto the rod. You pulled at your cuffs helplessly and he slowed as neared you. He stopped and knelt to caress your head as he gripped the firm toy.
“Not quite as big as me,” he smirked, “but it will help…”
“Please,” your thighs tensed as the toy beneath you kept buzzing, “please, sir, no more.”
“Shhh,” he stood and rolled the machine around you.
You listened to him as he adjusted it and lined it up with your cunt. He pushed it until the tip was at your entrance and you stretched around it as he inched it forward. He stopped until the toy filled you. There was a momentary lull and then a subtle whir added to the vibe of the toy as the dildo moved mechanically in and out of you.
You sucked in air as you were fucked by the toy and Steve fixed the vibe beneath you so that it was flush to your clit. You cried out and he backed away as he looked you over. You squeezed your eyes shut as you tried to resist the pressure building inside of you. The steady motion of the toy was enough to push you further and further with each stroke.
When you opened your eyes again, you found Steve leaned against the table, his eyes watching you over a sketch pad as his hand moved a pencil on the other side. You didn’t even have the sense left to be ashamed. You bit your lip and rolled your eyes back as you succumbed to another orgasm. You heard his low hum of satisfaction and quaked atop the bench.
You groaned and opened your eyes again as he neared. He pet your head and held up the pad before you. Lines of graphite etched your image onto the paper and you stared at the sight of your fearful pleasure. He smiled proudly and stood. He puffed his chest and ripped free the page and taped it up with the rest.
“I think that’s the best one,” he said, “it’s a lot easier with the real thing.”
You quivered and panted against the bench. He disappeared behind you and the toy plunged into you even faster and deeper than before. You grunted and lifted your head as you arched your back.
“You’re doing so good, sweetheart,” he reached under you again and clicked the button on the toy until it was on the sixth setting, a vibration that built to top speed only to restart at the lowest and build back up, over and over, urging you to climax only to ease off right before it came, “you’ll be ready… soon.”
He retreated and you looked around your shoulder as you heard the pinpad, “where… where are you going… sir?”
“You need time,” he said as he opened the door, “I’ll be back when you’re ready.”
The door closed and you whined. You tried to rip your hands free from the straps and kick your legs but did nothing but add to the whirlwind of pleasure and pain. You were screwed, literally.
💌
You didn’t know how long Steve left you for but it felt like forever. You hardly heard the door as he entered or the deep of the pin pad as he locked it. You only truly knew he was there when the machine stopped. He slowly slid it out of you and rolled it back to the corner. He took the dead toy from beneath your cunt and paced around you.
He wore only his briefs and stopped by the table as he rubbed the front of them. Your vision was hazy and your mind could only think of your core. Even after all that, you wanted more. You need more. You’d been fucked for what could have been hours but hadn’t cum since he abandoned you.
He pulled down his underwear as he faced you completely. He was only half-erect as his fingers toy with a silicon ring. You squinted as he squirted lube onto the ring and rolled it down his length. He grunted as he got to his base and stroked himself as he neared.
He traced an oily finger along your cheek and gripped your jaw, “open, sweetheart.”
He was completely hard by then and pushed his tip to your lips until they parted. He slid inside as he spread his hand over your head and pinned it to the bench as bent his legs. He poked at your throat but didn’t force himself deep, even as you hardly took in half his length. He fucked your mouth carefully as your saliva squelched loudly.
“You ready for me?” he asked as he continued to thrust, “hmmm?” He pulled out of your mouth and you coughed as your spit clung to his tip. He pushed a finger against your tongue and bent over you, “we have lots of time to use that mouth…”
He stood and dragged his hand down your back and came up behind you. He groped your ass and spread your cheeks with a purr. He rested his cock between them and rubbed himself against your ass as he kneaded your hips.
“You ready, sweetheart? You gotta tell me,” he dragged his nails down your thighs and you trembled.
“I’m… ready…” you gasped out, “sir, please…”
You couldn’t think straight, you could see clearly, and you surely couldn’t fight it any longer. You wiggled your ass and let out a pathetic groan.
“Mhmmm,” he gripped his cock and pushed his tip down along your folds. He pressed against your entrance and tapped it cloyingly.
“Please… sir,” you begged, “please, I’m good. I’m being good.”
“Yes, you are,” he praised and pushed into you just a little.
You moaned and slowly he inched deeper. He was bigger than the toy, thick and throbbing as he filled you more than you could handle. You whined and exclaimed as his pelvis came flush to your cunt. Your toes curled and you scratched at the metal.
“Fuck,” he bent over you, his hard torso to your back, “you are so tight…” he whispered in your ear and felt along the clamp over your nipple, “is it too much, sweetheart?”
You nodded and bared your teeth. He pulled back and you exhaled but he thrust just as deep and you shouted in surprise. He did it again as he crushed you against the bench and squeezed the clamp tighter on your nipple. Your voice trickled from you in weak whimpers as your body shook uncontrollably.
His other arm snaked around you and he buried his hand beneath your pelvis. He parted your folds with two fingers and flicked your clit with another. You murmured and rolled your head against the leather as he sped up, his flesh clapping loudly as he hammered into you without restraint.
“Ah, sweetheart, I don’t think I’d last much longer,” he purred in your ear, “fuck I coulda cum in your mouth if I didn’t… prepare.”
He stood up and kept his hand under you as he rutted into you, his free hand against the small of your back as he played with your bud and tilted his hips wildly. His voice mingled with your own but you were so dazed, you could only hear the squelching and slapping of your bodies.
“You’re mine,” he panted between thrusts, “aren’t you? Tell me you’re mine.”
“I’m… yours…” you uttered, “sir...CAPTAIN!”
You shouted as he slowed and rolled his hips tauntingly. You raised your head and squeezed the straps of your restraints as you tried to bend your legs. Your body tensed and your back arched against your will. Your tongue lolled out of your mouth as you came at last.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he groaned as you gushed around him, “fuck, you fit me perfect.”
You dropped your head and he pulled back to grip your hips, fucking you faster and harder. Your entire body ached as he railed into you. The bench quaked under you and you feared both you and the metal would break.
“All mine,” he buried himself entirely and held himself there, “sweetheart.”
He pulled out of you suddenly and you gulped at air as he came around you. He bent to unstrap your wrists and ankles. He lifted you off of the bench and you let him, too weak to stand on your own. He bent his knees and scooped you up, tossing your arms over his shoulder as he held you against him and entered you from below.
He nibbled your lip as he moved you up and down his length and you hugged him loosely. He walked around as if you weighed nothing and turned to lay you down on your back, staying inside you as he stood over the bench. He gripped your sides and rammed his hips against you as he held your ass just above the leather. Your reached up and clung to the bench above you and let your eyes roll back once more.
“Mmmm, don’t pass out on me now, sweetheart,” he grabbed your chin and forced two fingers into your mouth, “I’m not even close to finished with you.”
#steve rogers#dark steve rogers#dark!steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#fic#dark fic#dark!fic#series#two shot#miniseries#mcu#marvel#captain america#avengers#desperate measures
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Which would you say are your favorite fanfics ever? (Levihan ofc)
Okay, I don’t think I’m the best judge of what’s quality or not quality cause I ain’t no writing authority so I cannot vouch for whether you will like these fics or not. But I am a firm believer that good writing makes readers feel things and leaves a lasting impression.
So lemme rephrase the question… What fics left a lasting impression?
So brace yourself for one hell of a ride while I talk about fanworks that just fucked me up in the following ways:
Caused me to irrationally hate one random character
Made me forget something isn’t canon
Made me completely rearrange my day because I completely f-ed myself up.
Made me feel guilty for fucking up the view count because I keep going back there.
Makes me remember the fic as an aesthetic, not as actual words. Like literally I will imagine the setting almost perfectly in my head and like when I try to remember what happened, I don’t really remember the writing style or anything, but I could probably create a sim house about how exactly I imagined the house to look like or the yard to look like.
Changed the way I approach fic reading.
I don’t wanna spoil these fics because I’m assuming people are gonna read it so as much as I wanna make a long ass detailed review about why I love each of them, I won’t. I’ll probably just mention what the hell I was doing when I read the fic and how I completely fucked myself over.
I probably will miss some since I’m just listing these out from the top of my head. So here goes…And I’m only posting completed fics because I’m just that way.
Second chance by @fanmoose12
This is my comfort fic. The first time I read this fic, it was like 4am or 5am in the morning and I remember after reading it once, I read it like 5 more times that day.
This is literally the fic I just randomly open on my computer at work on some incognito tab when I’m just tired from all the shit they make us do at work and this is the random fic that I just open up when I feel like reading. And this is one of the fics I plan on showing my children one day when I explain to them what love is.
This isn’t depressing so I guess it doesn’t fall in the ‘fucked me over’ category but definitely one of the fics I read too many times to count that I remember it scene by scene like some simp.
Partners by fanmoose12
Woops, one exception for WIPs. I just had to post this here because it definitely left a lasting impression.
This was the first AU I have ever read and been invested in and I have been reading fanfiction since before I could remember and I have always stuck to canonverse fics until I got into Levihan.
This fic got me into the AU genre and I have never read AUs in my life before this so I think that says a lot about how much this fic means to me.
Somewhere Only We Know by @someonestolemyshoes
It’s not completely posted in ao3 yet. But since I beta-ed the fic, I finished it long before SSMS posted it but this fic. It started slow so it took me a week of on and off work to get through but I got through the second part of the fic, the last 30,000 words incredibly fast. I vividly remembered reading those last final scenes over breakfast completely in shock while my whole family was there. I literally had to leave the room and take my dog out for a second walk .
I remember the aesthetic of the overall story vividly enough to actually make a moodboard of it and spend a good 1 hour going through country side pics after finishing it. .
Yellow by @ariadneamare
God, this fic. I read this over a day of work. Like breakfast, first few thousand words, Lunch next few thousand words. And I finished the rest before bed and oh god, this is the type of fic that builds a great aesthetic, some lightness and just to fuck you over in the end.
I like to compare it to a longer and AU version of Pristine in terms of how it strings emotions along. I know they’re two completely different fics but the energy of the fic, the stream of emotions on how it strings you along is fairly similar.
This is literally one of those fics where I’m just having a good day, and my mind goes ‘remember that one fic’ and I just wrinkle my nose like ‘yeah THAT FIC’
Pristine by @mannatea
I’m sure everyone has read this, it’s practically a classic and I cannot count the number of people who told me it was depressing and I do not know why I did not believe them. I read this while waiting in line for milk tea. I lost my place in line around the time I finished that last part and just gave up on buying milk tea.
It has this build up, this incredibly fluffy build up which won’t make you think it will end the way it did.
Well. you know a fic is good when you know it’s gonna end a certain way but you allow yourself to get strung along anyway.
A Simple Choice by just-quintessentially-me
This is one of those fics for me that double as an aesthetic piece and a plot piece. I remember INCREDIBLY WELL, the road I was imagining that they were walking through and it satisfied my hurt comfort feels as well. Definitely one of my favorite 115-126 fics and one of the first ones I read in the fandom for sure.
So those are the english fics, I have to Japanese fics that fall in that category.
(For anyone who knows Japanese I guess but I personally think they’re worth a google translate.)
熱に浮く(Feverish Dream)
Classic canon compliant. Hange takes care of Levi when he’s sick fic but there are misunderstandings here, they contemplate their relationship and they are incredibly emotionally constipated here. Definitely one of the classics imo and it feeds my need for hurt/comfort.
前世なんてクソだと言う女と 全て忘れた男
(A girl who thinks past lives are not real and a boy who forgot everything)
Hange is a teacher, Levi is a janitor. Hange remembers stuff and Levi doesn’t and just really cute stuff.
I’m pretty sure you guys are tired of me rambling about how much this fic means to me but really, I wrote a Tale of Two Slaves (Which is just brushing 100k words already) because this was just so beautiful it got me into the reincarnation genre.
私の中の少女、あなたの中の少年
(The girl inside me and the boy inside you)
Levi and Hange are exes/childhood friends and they meet again in a matchmaking party. This is just the greatest balance between emotional constipation and love. The premise was just perfect for the type of build up
Closest thing I’m gonna drop to smut here. Will leave my smut recs for another post but I’m low key really still thinking whether or not I should expose myself by dropping my favorite Levihan smut pieces hahaha.
Filo Socmed AUs
A lot of these probably aren’t google translatable since Tagalog google translate sucks but if anyone is interested, most Filo Socmed AUs have a fair amount of English so it’s coherent. I guess? I completely forget though how much is in English and how much is in Tagalog but these are the Filo Socmed AUs I REALLY remember and really go back to.
Vividly Remembered
This one got me blowing my days worth of salary on some meal in a restaurant because I didn’t wanna go back home to my house yet so I remember just crying over a meal while finishing up this fanfiction instead of going home.
Basically a fic where Levi and Hange were together already and were about to get married already but shit happened. I irrationally hate Nanaba because of this Socmed AU. Like everytime I see Nanaba, i think of this Socmed AU and I just hate her again.
Photographs
Levi and Hange are part of the photography club and shit happens. I remember being behind on work because I decided to take a three hour lunch break to finish this AU. This satisfied my sick Levi craving in so many ways (especially after reading Yellow)
Wherein Levi doesn’t have social media accounts and Hange is the class beadle
This last one just has the overall aesthetic of my own university so it really stuck tbh. And the premise of the build up is just incredibly cute.
These are the ones I can remember from the top of my head so I’m sure these are among my favorites. I’ll definitely update this as I read more.
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We have nothing but bread crumbs. If you eliminate everything that was gathered by fans stalking their friend/family/real estate listing we only have the people statement and blurry pics from a park.//
Nope, a few people who work behind the scenes have stated this is PR.
Omg I don’t want to dive back into this catastrophe but I just want to state actual facts. There are no “blurry” park pics. Chris and Alba did a cringe PR walk in the park and as soon as the pic was taken by the hired photographer they dropped hands…how do we know that because a random stranger caught them on video not even a minute later with Chris’ hand in his pocket and Alba seeing the camera and trying to grab his hand that was previously holding hers before he placed it in his pocket, so ….these two couldn’t hold hands for the duration of the song playing in the background at the park, but they are so “in love and serious” 🙄
Things would’ve been fine if the pap pics were the only thing released but they got caught by a random stranger on video, not a fan.
Her and her friends racist, fatphobic, nazi posts were discovered.
His own mother likes a comment stating “why are people defending a racist”…..referring to Alba.
they haven’t been spotted together since the second failed PR attempt at Disney World, but who knows that might change depending on if the contract is officially over or not.
One of her friends had a public like that called Chris a “dollar store Leo DiCaprio with half the talent” and when that was discovered her friend deleted the like and it’s been proven that the same friend named Justin has been trolling his fans since day one.
Yes, his fans have done the absolute most, but this definitely isn’t one sided. This is not solely on the fans, these clout chasing fools, trolled and got the attention they oh so wanted, but by all means if you honestly believe her and Chris are in a serious relationship and they are trying to keep things private now…..after her show got canceled and her and her friends evil posts were exposed that she desperately decided to leak her own nudes….for whatever reason….can’t blame fans on that, she did that herself, no she’s wasn’t “hacked”.
If her and Chris wanted to be private they could’ve done that, but they’d actually have to be in a relationship. They went “public” the day the third season of her show aired, and ironically his team has been working to clean up online the past week.
It’s a contract, but I’ll just be labeled as “crazy” and maybe I am but remember a crazy person is known to be right once in a while. 😉🤭
…I’ll humor you….. *takes off “crazy” hat*
but hey who knows what’s going on, but one thing we aren’t going to act like this is the typical “omg the fans are jealous and ruining his “relationship”. This mess has been exposed more times than I can count but people want substantial proof ….so I guess when a break up article happens everyone who believes they are legit will go “it’s the fans fault” for their break up yet it’ll be listed as “the long distance” was hard for the two to make the “relationship” work.
Have a great weekend and know things are never fully as they seem. 😉 These two botched their own PR contract. What you originally typed is what the general population knows, a few folks who are in the industry behind the scenes have also stated this is PR but again, time will reveal all. Feel free to believe whatever you want. Have a great weekend!
Who exactly are these behind the scene people? What have they stated exactly?
Look theres so much nonsense in here im not gonna waist the few hours i have before i go to bed breaking it all down. Especially considering that you fully acknowledge it makes you look crazy. There is a lot of stuff in here that can essentially be boiled down to “we bully her because she is making us” and that is not only a dumb thing to suggest, it is a dangerous mind set to have in your life. You are bullying them because you want to, maybe it makes you feel better about your self idk. But remember you can’t control other people actions, only your own. You can simply stop following alba and her friends and stop taking the bait if that truly what you believe they are doing
However i will address this part. Alba did not leak her owe nudes, i will simply never believe this because it is a ridiculous thing for a person in her position to do.
And ill leave you with this
#you do not know the motivation behind any of her actions#you can not definitely say she leaked them on purpose#chris evans#alba baptista
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“Promise”
Why can't you just… Promise ?
Today's goal is an in-depth look at one of the most beautiful and breathtaking episodes of She-ra: "Promise"
Storywise, it's incredibly important to the series, and focuses entirely on Catradora. It's the first time since Adora left Catra behind to seek out the sword that the girls really have an opportunity to talk, and things are not going well. Both of them are royally pissed off at the other, with good reason.
For Adora, we're gonna deflate that proud hair poof of hers a bit, as we'll take an honest look at her as a person at this point in her life. And Catra... she's really guarding her feelings closely, as she's already deeply angry with Adora. But we will use the combination of Catra's younger self in the memories they see, plus looking at other times in the series that relate to this episode, where she was less guarded, in order to understand her as a person at this time. Also: warning: tl;dr, best enjoyed while cozy with a drink..
To get started, we skip to when they end up stuck together…
After Adora takes drastic measures to ward off the security spiders by collapsing the tunnel, the girls are now stuck together, and so… they talk...
We immediately see how incredibly irritated they are with each other as Adora chides Catra for being in the Crystal Castle, since the monsters will continue to attack them as long as she's protecting Catra… only to have Catra retort that she didn't ask for protection. Some snippy bickering back and forth happens, then...
Adora asks: "Does Shadow Weaver know you're here?" Very deadpan assertion from Adora. She knows Catra must be disobeying orders, she just doesn't know why.
"I'd say Shadow Weaver has bigger problems right now". Catra is already starting her move against SW back at the Horde. With SW abusively blocking her every move within the Horde, and now that Catra knows that SW was going to mind wipe Adora, Catra has decided she must deal with her abuser.
Adora puts on her telltale sideways grin, and Catra chafes at Adora's flirtation, saying "I told you it's not because I like you” downplaying Adora’s suggestion that this was the reason she let her go. Catra freely admits here that she does like Adora, but it's not the real reason she did it. Still, Catra doesn't explain further, and we see later that Catra often lets Adora explain away her actions this way... but that Adora constantly misses the deeper truths.
"Where are your new best friends? I thought you did everything together". She's very snarky and dismissive of Adora and her flirting. She's mad about Adora leaving her for her new life.
"The ones you let SW imprison and curse?" Adora is angry at Catra for what she did, which was a sudden escalation of things by Catra.
"Yeah obviously, what other friends would I be talking about?" An obvious dig at Adora for leaving her, everything behind. She deadpans this, staring back plainly. Catra is obviously really angry at Adora... while Adora is legitimately mad at Catra for doing something so nasty to Bow and Glimmer...
::Let's take a moment to talk about Catra's feelings about Adora's new friends: Catra feels horribly betrayed by this. Adora completely tossed her aside, and replaced her with Bow and Glimmer. What comes to mind is at the end of Sea Gate, Catra is thrown in the water and then looks up at Adora, who is celebrating and cuddling with Bow and Glimmer. Catra is emotionally forlorn watching this, as Scorpia comes to drag her off to safety, Adora doesn't even look back towards her.
She's forgotten, Adora showed no love towards her at all in that scene (and then hardly any at Princess Prom, either). Adora ignored her plea for her to return, she didn't reach out to Catra at all. And now she watches her cuddle with her new friends: everything Catra thought she had with Adora meant nothing, and she's been replaced with these feel goodie goods who are fawning all over Adora.
Suffice to say, Catra couldn't do this, she's got way too many issues with emotional intimacy and touch aversion. So she watches Adora, seeing that what she offered her wasn't good enough, knowing because of it she's forgotten. Catra was trying really hard to be a close friend to Adora in spite of her issues, but as we will see, Adora wasn't trying to understand what was going on with Catra. And because of this, Catra was too afraid to express her affection openly, and yet here's Adora... accepting all of Bow and Glimmer’s love, for which Adora really did nothing to earn. Adora took Catra’s friendship for granted while ignoring her deeper needs, as will be explained, then completely abandons her, not even seeming to miss her. Catra is deeply hurt by the unfairness of this.
>Catra stares back at Adora, frustrated when she doesn't even acknowledge their lost friendship.
"Well, we don't need to go together. You do your weird little magic quest thing I'll find my own way out". Catra looks resentfully at the sword on Adora's back as she says this. Catra is laying down boundaries, except it's useless since they are trapped together. But, boundaries are important to Catra and as the episode progresses, Adora shows that she doesn't really understand Catra's.
>As they walk along, both girls' shadows loom equally tall. The symbolism is that in this story, both are equally important... it's also a shockingly beautiful sequence. (pic above)
After entering the room of infinite darkness, Catra tries to separate from Adora but the door is gone, they are stuck together. Weird things start happening. As the Fright Zone appears, both of them are confused. Adora decides to suspect Catra, after all, she attacked her friends. But as Adora grabs Catra, Catra is surprised and confused... Catra doesn't like being touched unexpectedly, Adora knows this but is ignoring that and attacking her. She gets treated as an enemy when she clearly hasn't done anything wrong, and it sets the tone for the two of them: Adora has constantly treated Catra as an enemy since the very moment she defected, not even trying to understand Catra's point of view. And so Catra increasingly emotionally distances herself from Adora. Catra angrily casts Adora's arm aside, not liking being vilified by her, and Adora doesn't understand why Catra is so upset. Catra slips away to explore, needing space from her.
The way Adora immediately suspects and then attacks Catra is symbolic to the whole episode: by defecting to the Rebellion, Adora chose to start treating Catra, and her entire unit, as enemies, backing it up with hostility. But Catra doesn't really agree that the horde is evil... in her experience, it's just how life is.
>The two girls, now separated, call out to each other. Adora hears Catra's call, then another: young Catra is behind her, looking lost and insecure. Catra joins Adora as their first memory has just begun…
~DISCLAIMER TIME~ A lot of information in She-ra is inferred by emotional context, so if this seems a bit head-canon-y, I assure you, I have data! Please ask questions and seek clarifications, I promise to answer back! ~EtheriaDearie
>A worried and hurt young Catra runs to young Adora's side. She is emotional and needs support. Adora checks her out then gets the real deal: Catra was in a fight with an adult. It hints that Catra always had to deal with people messing with her, even before SW began her abuse. This is a guess, but it's probable: this is likely a happy memory of the two of them right before the hurting began. Along with the "promise" memory and the moments immediately preceding their entering the Black Garnet chamber, these scenes set the baseline for what their friendship was like before Catra suffered SW’s abuse. Also, this memory is a happy one, and how Adora remembers their friendship: it was likely triggered by her memories. The next ones are not, as I believe they are triggered by Catra, who is trying to explain to Adora what was so painful about their childhood...
>Catra doesn't know what to expect when she shows Octavia to Adora. She probably expects Adora to try to apologize on her behalf, or to give her a hard time about what she did. Instead, Adora sticks with her friend and yells “Hey Octavia, you're a dumbface." This brings young Catra much joy, Adora is sticking with her, not passing judgement. The two young girls run together hand in hand, experiencing childhood bliss, but it doesn't last. The present versions of themselves return, holding hands...
They share a brief moment of connection before Catra pulls her hand away in anger. Adora is surprised at the strength of Catra’s reaction. They are not on intimate terms any more, in fact, I suspect they had been struggling for a while before Adora's defection. Adora doesn't want the moment to stop, but Catra does. It hints that the gulf between them is already wide.
"How can you deal with all this magic stuff?" Catra has a deep distrust of magic, as it was used in her abuse. She resents it, and throughout the series whenever anything magic happens that she doesn't see coming she gets creeped out.
"I'm only dealing with it because I need to figure out how to heal Glimmer after someone got her cursed." It's a valid criticism, but Catra deflects it.
"What do you want? An apology? You're not getting one." We don't get the full story on this moment until season 5 when a young Catra tells Adora she'll "never say sorry to anybody, ever." Adora doesn't like Catra just refusing to explain, and as Catra pushes her away, Catra is full of reproach at Adora's judgement.
::As an abused child, Catra was continuously vilified and abused by everyone but Adora. And when Adora would suggest she apologize throughout their lives, she can't understand why Catra won't. It comes down to literally everyone in the world judging Catra and being cruel. Not once did any of them apologize to her, even though she didn't do anything to deserve the abuse. Except Adora... but that has issues, too. In fact, SW literally tells her "I won't apologize" regarding her abuse of Catra. Can you imagine the hurt at that?
[pic caption: Catra refuses to apologize, Catra often shows her deeper emotions while blinking, in this case: the incredible pain she experienced from SW’s abuse.]
So no, Catra won't apologize, she had a thing she was trying to do by kidnapping Bow and Glimmer and taking her sword, and it ended badly. But she felt she had a good reason to do it: she wanted to force Adora to see her, to make her acknowledge how big of a part of Adora’s life Catra used to be. And it's not like anyone has been helping Catra, she's had to make every single decision on her own her entire life and live with the consequences.
Also, mistakes for Catra have an entirely different meaning than they do for Adora. Whenever Adora made a mistake, she was given an opportunity to fix it. This is a theme of their relationship: Adora expects Catra to let her fix her mistakes. But for Catra, she learned that any mistake she made was dangerous, as when she did make a mistake, SW would torture her for it. And if other people saw it too, they'd use it to perpetuate the notion that she's some kind of no good fuck up. So Catra is extremely careful to not make mistakes, and if she does, she tries to cover it up, distance herself from it. (note: this isn't the same as Catra's intentional rebellions against this system where she was unfairly targeted for abuse-). This is why Catra simply cannot forgive Adora easily for breaking her promise: in Catra's world, she had to be perfect, or she could have been dead by SW's hand. She wasn't allowed to make mistakes like Adora is, she is what is clinically known as 'hyper vigilant' and always preparing for the worst. And so she applies this standard to be perfect all the time to Adora, and therefore she won't give Adora the same license to make mistakes with their friendship. Catra thinks Adora should know better, and see the consequences of her actions.
>Adora lets it go: when Catra seems to shut down, Adora does her best to try to accept her. Adora tries a different track. She asks Catra why she let her and Glimmer go when SW had them imprisoned, when it could have resulted in Catra getting in trouble. Catra walks ahead, trying to distance herself from having to answer. But the magic of the Crystal Castle intervenes: as Adora slips and begins to fall, Catra saves her. It's a symbolic moment: Catra has always tried to protect Adora, to save her from pain. It's why she changed course to give the sword back to her, partly.
"Did you really think I'd just let SW erase your memory like that?"
"I don't know. Probably." Adora shows such little understanding of their friendship. It shows Adora really is thinking of Catra as an enemy, not as the complicated person stuck between protecting her friend, and the cruel necessities of her life.
Catra looks at Adora with disappointment. "Yeah, well, you never did have too much faith in me." Adora tries to understand Catra's emotions, fails.
"Huh, can you blame me?" Ouch. Adora smiles at Catra, trying to show love for her roguish quirks. But it just shows how little Adora understands: she is repeating a negative stereotype of Catra that everyone in their old life believes and perpetuates. And Adora should know better, instead of just assuming the worst about her. That persona is one which Catra uses to protect herself, partly from her own emotional feelings, but also as a necessity to protect herself from SW. She had to act like she doesn't care, doesn't try, so SW wouldn't see her power.
"Psh, not really." As Catra turns away, again she deadpans this but you can see pain and disappointment leaking past her indifference.
As she walks away she trails her tail across Adora's hand, flirting and drawing Adora's attention to her butt. It's a cute little moment of telling a truth to counter the lie: 'Adora, you should know me better, and also, I like you.' Still, it's only a half truth: Catra couldn't let SW win because SW is Catra's true enemy. But, Adora takes the flirtatious hint, as always. She accepts it and doesn't dig deeper.
Catra asks Adora about their childhood, trying to understand how Adora could just throw it all away. Adora gives a very direct and impassioned speech, she looks Catra in the eyes, trying to convince her and make her understand why leaving was the right thing to do. Catra hides her emotions, weighing Adora's answer. She doesn't agree with her sentiment, in Catra's experience good and evil are relative and exist as such everywhere. Also, she's right: we meet many people in the Horde who aren't evil. And Adora's finding the sword is one giant sinister manipulation by Light Hope. Moral grayness is a constant theme in this show. Still, this isn't really why Catra chooses to stay with the Horde.
Adora sees her explanation failing to convince Catra, so she tries reminding Catra of their deeper friendship, telling her she misses her too. Catra is temporarily taken aback at being called out before remembering to deny it. She tells Adora to get over herself, and Adora tells her she won't stop until Catra says she likes her. They flirtatiously rough house, and Catra smiles during it: yeah, she does. But she denies it anyways.
::Adora often tries to be respectful of Catra's personal space but is making an exception here: she's telling her that she finds her desirable, and if Catra wanted it, they could be together. Adora can't understand why Catra feels the need to resist this, but she knows doing it helps her friend feel wanted. Still, this shows how casually Adora views their attraction.
Yes, they should be together. And actually, they had an unspoken agreement that they would be. But Catra's not going to open herself up to that just to serve her desire. She wants more from Adora, for Adora to show her that she really does see her, and cares about her. If she did, maybe Catra could open up about some of her pain. Being intimate without doing that would be impossible, and so far Catra's life still isn't safe enough to risk her feelings. Adora's promotion could have meant the beginning of something new between them, where they worked together to build a more secure future together where Catra didn't have to be fearful all the time. But instead, Adora left her.
So begins the second memory. The two girls, now teenagers, compete against each other in sparring. It's clear they are flirting, and neither is fighting all out. When Catra taunts Adora by putting her finger to her forehead, she shows how much better she is at fighting. She full heartedly laughs, Adora enjoys this and then throws a purposefully weak strike to restart the fight. When Adora seemingly turns the tables through brute force, Catra plays hurt to exploit Adora's naiveness. As Adora tries to show concern, Catra turns the tables back. She wants to teach Adora a lesson: that not everyone will play fair, as Catra knows all too well from SW's abuse. But Lonnie interrupts her. Catra doesn't appreciate this and makes quick work of Lonnie, showing just how good she is. Adora attacks, getting the predetermined win. Catra doesn't enjoy the beat down but accepts Adora's help up. She heads to Lonnie as Adora receives compliments from their commander.
As Catra confronts Lonnie, she tells Catra "you were playing dirty, I was just leveling the field". Catra will hear these words again when she leaves Adora behind in frustration near the end of the episode. They are significant: these are stereotypical views forced on Catra, and those views ignore that Catra was just doing something she felt was important: teaching Adora about the harsh realities that exist in the world. Real enemies don't play by the rules, and will be unpredictable.
As Catra’s anger rises at this, Adora puts her hand on Catra's shoulder to calm her down, then compliments Catra on her fighting skills. Catra ever so casually tosses the comforting hand aside. She's saying 'I can handle my emotions without your help, but thanks for asking.' As she tells Adora she let her win, Adora tries to tell if Catra really is ok.
Thus starts one of cutest exchanges between the two of them: as Catra tries to explain why she lets Adora win, Adora puts on her sideways 'you like me' grin while she playfully denies that Catra let her win. Catra gives a very animated and obviously made up explanation about not wanting to have people expect things from her. Adora grins along, and halfway through her lie Catra leans in, staring at Adora's lips before looking up into her eyes. Once again, Catra is undoing a lie by telling a truth: she let her win because she likes (loves) her. But it's only a half truth, once again...
Adora accepts the explanation, keeping her sideways grin: 'it's so cute how you like me'. Catra's explanation done, Adora moves on, wanting to catch up with their unit. Catra lets her do so while excusing herself. As Adora leaves, a huge amount of meaningful information passes across Catra's face…
First, Catra feels bad about having to lie to Adora, and it shows. Then, as Adora leaves to socialize, disappointment and rejection shows: Catra had hoped Adora might look deeper, and try to see the deeper truth. As Adora turns away and leaves we see a look of total love and adoration on Catra's face. She really, really loves Adora. She's the light of her life, a real idiot no doubt but Catra will always love her for exactly who she is.
The girls remain their younger selves as the rest of the memory plays out, Adora staying to accept praise while Catra separates to deal with her internal feelings which Adora always fails to see: the hurt and aloneness she feels.
>A frustrated young Catra cries, expressing her repressed emotions. It would be easiest to assume she cries because she's sad about losing, but we have to look ahead to the next memory to find the real truth.
Catra is sad because she never had a choice. SW took that choice from her, and while Catra is happy to let Adora win because of the love she feels for her, it hurts that she never really got to decide. And Adora doesn't see that, doesn't see the pain Catra is bearing, hiding. And so she cries for that, too. The one person who should love her doesn't really see her. As she looks up in the mirror to see herself, since no one else in her life seems to see her pain, she sees her present tearful self looking back. The pain of the past is real in the present, and while she's older now and won't let herself give in to tears, she feels the pain as she did back then. (pic 1, below) She sees the tears and it snaps her back to her present self, totally unnerved by the simulation as the security detects her and attacks. A fearful Catra screams, wanting help, wanting Adora.
>Adora snaps back to herself, having been participating in the replay of the memory post Catra excusing herself. She tries to run to help Catra, full of worry. She sees a terrified Catra trapped by the spider. As the spider begins to drag her away the two girls lock arms, trying to free Catra. But it's too strong, and as we see their grip start to slip, Catra looks to Adora wanting, pleading for help. As Catra is pulled away, Adora feels helpless, knowing she couldn't help her friend. She thumps her head in frustration that she wasn't there for Catra.
The scene speaks to an obvious truth: Adora has never quite been there enough for Catra. She's always less present, less aware of Catra's reality than she could have been. But since Catra was experiencing a painful memory when this happened, her reaction shows her vulnerable emotional state, and so she called out for help: Catra just wants to feel safe, for Adora to be there to help her. But she wasn't.
>As Catra is dragged away, she feels helpless, and calls out mournfully for Adora. But she's long gone; Catra is alone and scared, as usual. She screams out her frustration, the realization that she’s never gotten the help she needed, she always ends up alone. She cries tears for the suffering and anguish she feels from that. (pic 2, below) It’s a moment that shows us the real inner Catra: She feels deeply, whether it be her desire to be seen, loved by Adora, or the fear she feels in this moment and others. She tries her best to act confident in herself, but it's a lie: she needs support, yet is left behind by everyone, including Adora. She was willing to bear her pain for Adora's love, but she has become increasingly aware of how tenuous that really was growing up.
>Catra digs deep, like she's always done. She will handle this, won't take the abuse lying down. She shifts her mentality to being the survivor, the person who has survived years of abuse. She frees herself and gets to her feet, accessing her foe, determined to defeat it. She attacks, using her anger to deal damaging blows, seeking to destroy her enemy, to make sure she survives. She stands back, confident she's won, proud of herself for it. She doesn't quit, she always perseveres against those who want to destroy her. (pic 3)
Adora shows up, finishing the monster. Catra doesn't drop her mentality, this person who has lived a separate life from Adora and survived on her own, doing the hard things like winning fights and resisting Shadow Weaver's abuse.
Adora walks forward, seeing Catra's anger, determination. She looks blankly, trying not to upset Catra. She's trying to get a read on Catra but not having any luck, so she's being cautious. She asks if Catra is ok, casually pulling webbing off Catra's shoulder, trying to exist in her physical space without upsetting Catra further. "I had it" says Catra, not dropping her fighter stance, mentality at all. Catra is very much feeling the aloneness of her life from everyone, including Adora.
Adora tries to casually put aside Catra's assertion that she had it, she smiles diplomatically. She tries again to touch Catra, to break down her animosity and get her to calm down. It doesn't work. "We need to make sure we stick together from now on." As Adora touches Catra, she tenses, uncomfortable. Catra has strong touch aversion, and Adora knows this but she also knows doing it sometimes helps Catra shift her mentality, so she's trying to get Catra to connect emotionally, to get her to accept care.
"Will you stop telling me what to do?" An exasperated Catra says. We see a look of total dismay cross Adora's face. She's not understanding why Catra has so much animosity in this moment. (pic below)
As Adora looks at Catra, she hunches her body, looking misunderstood and isolated. Adora has consistently failed to see Catra's emotional states and so Catra is feeling more and more apart; that the mentality of the survivor she's feeling now is the right one. Adora didn't really help her at all growing up, and she doesn't see her for who she really is, either. Adora always took the easy explanation, like saying that Catra did things for her because she liked her. Never looking deeper, trying to see her struggle. And so Catra doesn't drop her combative pose, she stays in it because she feels in control, less vulnerable.
As for the words "stop telling me what to do", that's an essay in itself but consider: just now Adora became frustrated when she lost Catra, and now tells her they need to stay together. But they didn't, they never did, and even when they are together Adora is no real help to Catra. So she reacts in anger to Adora trying to direct her. After all, in the next scene we will see that Adora leads Catra into danger, and then doesn't really help her as she gets abused. Adora is no great leader, not according to Catra's experience.
::Adora is having a total loss, here, as she tries to understand Catra, why she's angry at her: It's because she has never really known this 'survivor' side of Catra. Adora wants to comfort her and calm her down, but Catra isn't having it. I think this is when we first see Adora begin to realize that there is something is very wrong with her friend that she has completely failed to see, and she's deeply worried by it. (pic 2)
[pic cation: Adora can't read Catra's emotions, Adora realizes Catra is deeply angry. Outside SW’s chamber, Adora wants to take Catra’s hand.]
Adora loves Catra, but can't seem to get through to her: Catra is holding herself apart from Adora. Again, Catra pushes Adora's hand aside, frustrated. She expresses her exasperation at the situation, saying she's sick of what's going on. Adora follows along, confused. As Catra seemingly purposefully leaves her behind, Adora demands to know what Catra's problem is, saying that she was trying to save her. Catra looks down at her confrontationally, frustrated with Adora's lack of vision. "For the last time, I don't need you to save me. I've been doing just fine on my own. No thanks to you." Uh oh.
The words "no thanks to you" are especially cutting. Adora has totally failed to see the struggles Catra had all her life, she didn't understand the hurt and abuse Catra was fighting against. And so Catra did it all on her own, protecting herself and trying to remain strong. Her love of Adora might have helped her have hope, but fundamentally Catra overcame the abuse by not giving up on herself, believing she had worth, and not letting others tear her down.
Adora runs to Catra's side, taking her arm in one hand. Feeling her friend becoming increasingly distant from her, Adora tries authentically telling Catra her feelings, hoping to make her friend see her desire to help and understand her. Adora explains that she's sorry for leaving and that she did it because she couldn't stand the war the Horde has pursued. Her next words are telling: "but I never wanted to leave you". 'Want' is an important word in this series, and it comes up again in season 5 when Catra asks Adora "what do you want, Adora?”. By choosing to leave the Horde, Catra feels that Adora wanted that more than she wanted what they had together. Also, promises are not something you're supposed to break over a 'want'. And Adora so casually breaking their promises makes Catra think she doesn't matter to Adora. It's not the truth, but this belief still determines her reaction in this moment. Even though Adora dearly loves Catra, including at this point in the story, she hasn't shown it in a way that Catra can see as meaningful. As Adora finishes saying this, Catra looks back, feeling alone and unwanted, seemingly thinking 'but you did leave me, Adora.'
Adora tries to appeal to Catra to join the rebellion with her. Then she says "I know you're not a bad person, Catra. You don't belong with the Horde." Catra must be thinking 'Ok so at what point did you become the authority on whether someone is good or bad, Adora?' Adora has shown no interest in understanding Catra's position, she treated her as an enemy without fail since she left her, literally in every single case including at Princess Prom when Catra was trying so hard to romance her. And Catra doesn't accept Adora's naive black and white view of the world. Think about it: when Adora defects she begins treating all Horde with hostility, including her dearest friend, she judges them all and doesn’t even try to see them as the complicated people that they are. So when she suggests Catra doesn't belong with the Horde, Catra looks back at her, feeling totally isolated from Adora. Even though Adora's plea is earnest, Catra declines it.
>As the next memory begins, we see Adora now has both hands on Catra's arm, she's desperately trying to hold on to her bond with Catra and show her desire to fix things between them. Catra doesn't drop her wary demeanor at all, and Adora looks lost and anxious over this as a young Catra runs by.
The memory starts out full of childhood innocence as the two of them play together. When the girls see that the Black Garnet chamber is open, young Adora remarks "we're definitely not allowed in there." Young Catra looks at Adora, seemingly asking if she wants to go in, trusting her. Young Adora runs off, and Catra follows her in. Yes, Catra participates in the decision, but she's not the one who runs towards the chamber, and that's important to what happens next.
A worried (adult) Adora looks to her friend who seems so distant, stoic. Anxiously, Adora tells Catra "You don't have to go in there." Adora knows what happens next is very bad, that this is a hurtful memory for Catra. As an unwavering Catra begins to walk towards the chamber, Adora looks down at Catra's hand. [pic above] She wants desperately to reach out and take it, to hold Catra back from this terrible moment, to tell her she's sorry for messing up. Adora knows now that she screwed up, that she's let Catra down, somehow more than she ever realized. She doesn't know what to do about it… she follows Catra inside.
The young girls explore, Catra touches the black garnet and gets shocked. Adora has second thoughts, she realizes they're trespassing.. but of course, SW returns, so they try to hide. As SW takes off the mask, Adora cries out, taken aback... young Catra looks at her in dismay. She's about to pay for Adora's mistake with a lifetime of suffering. Offended, SW tells them to "Get out!" but rethinks. She puts the mask back on, and decides to use this moment to instead abuse the girls and use the crime of their trespass against them. As SW tells Catra to stay, Adora turns around, seeing that Catra is caught, and she's scared for her friend. She really did make a poor decision, and as a highly empathetic person, what happens to Catra scars Adora, too.
Held powerless by magic, Catra tries to explain that they were just playing. SW's words to her set the stage for a lifetime of physical and psychological abuse: SW leans over her menacingly, telling her "Insolent child, I've come to expect such disgraceful behavior from you, but I will not allow you to drag Adora down as well." Again, it's not Catra who decided to go in, so it's really not her fault. SW disparages her and heaps blame upon her for Adora's bad choice, ignoring the truth.
Adora weakly tries to protect Catra, saying "SW, it wasn't her fault. It was my idea too." It's an understandable response, as they're just little kids. Still, Adora could have taken the blame for their trespass, since she led Catra inside. But it's about to get a lot more hurtful for Catra...
SW's voice echoes through Catra's head as she trembles in terror: "You have never been anything more than a nuisance to me. I've kept you around this long because Adora was fond of you but if you ever do anything to jeopardize her future, I will dispose of you myself. Do you understand ?" Catra trembles in fear, her eyes unfocused, the room empty but for SW menacing her. She's in a dissociative state, terrified and helpless. I think some people probably feel like this must have been a idle threat, but it isn't: SW abuses Catra many times after this for her mistakes. And the depiction of the dissociative state helps us understand just how damaging it was. While Adora seemingly goes on to not realize the importance of this memory, for Catra it is formative to her entire life.
Again, Adora tries weakly to stop what's happening, putting herself between them. She tells SW "please, stop" then looks over at Catra, full of concern. Running over to SW, she tells her "she didn't mean to". This is so hurtful, as young Catra is very smart. Catra knows Adora has blown it again, after all, what is it that she "didn't mean to" do when it was Adora's idea to trespass? Adora isn't getting the magnitude of the situation, and Catra is very much left to fend for herself.
SW then does a very insidious thing to Adora, a very directed abuse that's meant to work against her personality and empathetic reactions to others pain. She tells her "Adora, you must do a better job of keeping her under control. Do not let something like this happen again..." SW follows this up with years of manipulation to make Adora even more susceptible to abuse. But in this moment, SW again heaps the blame for Adora's mistake onto Catra, who did nothing wrong. For Catra, she comes to believe that what she did doesn't even matter, nobody cares what the truth was. Even Adora. But for Adora, the hurt goes deep as well. She made a bad decision, her friend gets hurt for it, and she never comes clean... instead, she's told she has to do a better job of controlling her friend, and that she has to be perfect so that it doesn't happen again. It's a deep and hurtful moment for Adora, just like it is for Catra. But the hurt is much less direct, and more sneaky. Nonetheless, Adora struggles with this moment, this abuse of her, in the most intimate and painful ways all throughout the series.
Young Catra watches on as SW completes her manipulation of Adora. For Catra, she's left with the feeling that nothing she does matters, she was blamed for something she didn't even do. And Adora seemingly took the easy out, spreading the blame. But she doesn't realize this moment is so insidious for Adora, that it attacks and manipulates her at her emotional need to help others. From this moment on, Adora is afflicted with a desperate fear that she can't protect others, and must lead perfectly so they don't get hurt. This internal conflict erodes Adora's self worth, and causes her great emotional pain throughout the series. Catra, instead, believes she is being told she has no worth, and isn't even allowed to make her own decisions. It's hurtful, and it's part of why she tensed so badly at Adora for trying to tell her what to do earlier. We see this realization cross young Catra's face: she feels forgotten in this moment.
We see the young girls walking away from SW's chamber, Adora with her hand around Catra's shoulder. This comfort is not enough... Catra really needed Adora to stand up for her there, to come clean, and she didn't. Trying to comfort her now seems hollow. As they flash to their present selves, Catra knocks Adora's arm aside in frustration, accusing her of needing to play the hero.
Adora responds, saying she was only trying to protect her. Catra's next words tell the real truth of their childhood: "You never protected me! Not in any way that would put you on SW's bad side!" Adora at first chafes at this statement, feeling like she did try to protect her, then crosses over to confusion at the strength of Catra's assertion. Catra is telling Adora she was blind to her pain. She wasn't there for her, and this is very much at the core of Catra's disappointment with Adora: the fact that she never stayed, never tried to understand. Adora let SW control her, make her ambitious, and so Catra was put to the side of that, and over time Adora grew apart from her. Catra’s exact words here are important: she says that Adora ‘plays’ at being the hero, yet always seemingly protected her status as the favorite, never standing up to SW and risking harm onto herself in order to save Catra from pain.
And so, the fact that out of seemingly out of nowhere, Adora decides to risk everything and defect in order to fight for people she doesn't even know, insults Catra. Adora abandons and consequently fights against her own people, leaving Catra behind, unilaterally treating her as an enemy. Never, in their whole lives, did Adora ever fight for Catra, only offering affection afterwards to make up for the cruelties that happened to Catra. So no, Catra doesn't want Adora to save her, or her sympathy, when she seemingly cared so little about her pain. Adora was no hero to her.
Now an obvious question might be: if the manipulation is that Adora is supposed to protect and control Catra, then shouldn't she have had to see SW abuse Catra for it to work? The first part of the answer is that it was never really about that, once the idea was put in Adora’s head, SW used it to manipulate her further into a mentality where Adora would accept praise, promotion on her path to becoming a force captain.
The other is that when someone is being hurt like Catra was in that moment... if the one person in the world who is supposed to get it doesn't get it... then it becomes very hard to ever bring it up to them again. It's a specific type of hurt and abandonment: for Catra, she goes on to believe that this is her burden, that somehow she alone is supposed to learn these hard lessons. And so she doesn't tell Adora about the abuse. Also, keep in mind that they are small children, and Catra doesn't want Adora to hurt like she does... so she's actually protecting her, in her mind. But the fact that time goes by and Adora never seemed to care, to stop and see Catra's pain, was very hurtful to her. And Catra’s feelings of betrayal at Adora’s not seeing the hurt are justified: in episode 1, we see Adora watch SW menace Catra, then happily run off to accept her promotion, only remembering to check on Catra as an afterthought. Catra needed Adora's support, and never really got it.
[pic caption: (left to right) Adora’s apparent willful ignorance of the abuse.]
So Catra believes she learns these hard lessons so Adora won't have to, but is left alone in her pain. This also means that SW specifically abused Catra at times and in places so Adora wouldn't be aware, which again, tells us it was never really about making Adora responsible for Catra's decisions. No, the reasons were much darker, and Catra bore it all alone.
The girls flash to their younger selves, and Catra accuses Adora: "Admit it, you love being her favorite." Catra is telling Adora that she was disappointed and hurt that Adora kept accepting praise and privilege from SW, after that moment when she so clearly should have seen how SW abused her, and the maliciousness of the death threat. In Catra’s mind, Adora could have rejected SW. As painful as it is for a small child to be without any parents, it would have been the right thing to do, for Catra. SW was no good to Catra, and they could have shared the pain of being orphans who only had each other, but instead Catra ended up bearing all of the abuse while Adora was given privilege.
Adora denies this assertion, and yet she did accept the privilege SW offered her. Catra's next words show how ignorant Adora was to the realities of their lives as they flash back to their present selves: "Oh yeah? When you left, who do you think took the fall for you? Who was protecting me then ?" Catra bore all the abuse and punishment for Adora's leaving, and Adora wasn't there to see it. Catra did this bravely for Adora, in fact, up until before Princesse Prom, Catra did everything she could to cover for Adora, just like she asked, protecting her, hoping she'd come back to her. But Adora shows no understanding at all for what Catra went through, she didn't even think about what must have been happening to her. Adora has never taken the time to think about how her actions affect Catra's life.
Adora counters, suggesting that Catra could leave the Horde, and therefore get away from SW's abuse. Catra just glares back at her, disappointed. Catra knows running from the abuse won't solve anything.
::What this comes down to is a totally different understanding of the world. For Adora, she thinks she became a hero for leaving the Horde, and becoming She-ra. She doesn't realize she was lucky to fall into the situation she did, with Bow and Glimmer helping her gain acceptance and protecting her. She's totally unaware that the reality that her becoming She-ra is a manipulation born out of evil intent. For Catra, she's always known that the world is harsh, and that bad people exist who will try to destroy you. She's not afraid to fight, she's had no choice learning these harsh truths. It's a jaded view that negatively affects her perceptions of people, but it prepares her for the worst, and so she relies on it. So when Adora suggests she run from it, she rejects her as naive. They flash back to their younger selves after Adora suggests Catra can leave like she did, and Catra accusingly points out that she doesn't need to follow Adora around. That they're children is relevant to the previous memory where Adora led Catra into danger, and then didn't protect her. Catra isn't interested in following Adora blindly after she's put her in danger so badly in the past.
Flashing back present selves, Catra tells Adora she doesn't want to leave. As she says this her face conveys her anger at the world, her drive to face SW instead of flee. She says "I'm not afraid of SW anymore, and I'm a better force captain than you ever would have been." Let's take this in parts: Catra won't run from her abuser, she's already planning to take her down. Doing so is important to Catra, as it fixes her world in an important way. And that Adora can't see this just shows how far apart they are now. In Catra's mind, Adora was supposed to stay, and as they rose to power together, they would have supplanted SW, fixing Catra's world. The two of them would have been stronger in the end. But Adora did leave, so Catra impatiently tries to get Adora to see that she won't just run away. If Adora doesn't want to help Catra overcome this evil, then she'll do it on her own.
Her disappointment in Adora for abandoning this fight is apparent, what comes to mind is when Catra calls Adora weak in the Sea Gate episode. And now Catra knows she's got the power to do this, she's a force captain, and if she can just find a reason to depose SW she knows she has the station and fighting ability to take her down. She always knew she could lead, but was happy to let Adora have success because she really didn't want that responsibility. So she points out her superiority, not to show that she's better than Adora, but to tell Adora she was blind to Catra's worth, and to be hurtful to Adora for abandoning her.
They flash back to their child selves: Adora looks at Catra, hurt and confused "You always said you didn't care about things like that." Adora is feeling hurt by the idea that she was unknowingly taking advantage of Catra, because Catra has seemily just told her she was lying.
Now, this next part is important, and it's important that we are seeing Catra's reaction as her child self: Catra looks sad and lonely as Adora finishes her question, and she's crying. Something adult Catra would never let herself do. So we're seeing a much more authentic expression of Catra's hurt and emotions than if it were her present self. What you need to understand here is that those emotions don't really match her words... Catra tells her "Well I was lying, obviously!" But her face says she's angry and hurt at Adora for not seeing her pain.
As she delivers those words her face is full of accusation and insult, she's being dramatic, something we will see Catra do time and time again. She stares down Adora, eyes scrunched up, showing Adora how betrayed she felt by her insensitivity. Then we get sadness, disappointment. Finally, we get a lonely kind of furious sorrow: all that time feeling alone and Adora didn't bother to understand is written on her face.
The tears are still flowing, but as she turns away they shift back to their present selves. Adult Catra looks totally alone, heartbroken.
Ok but how we REALLY know Catra isn't telling the truth is this: almost word for word, this moment exists in episode 1. ANY time you see that happen in this show, you need to look back to find the meaning of it.
>We will need to look in totality of this scene in episode 1: An excited Catra pounces on Adora, asking her what SW said. She sees the badge and takes it. Here's a funny thing, because we see Catra jump on Adora you might think Catra is always like this, she just comes into Adora's space as she pleases. But once Catra has the badge, we see no anger or jealousy. Just total wonder. She shows nothing but exuberation and happiness for Adora's promotion (pic 1, lower left fyi).
Catra knew this could be the turning point she's been waiting for, that Adora was due for promotion. And so she's jumping all over Adora, full of joy. We only see her attitude change once Adora tells her SW isn't letting her go on missions. And so, we can infer a lot of information from this...
Catra expected this moment to change their lives for the better. That Adora's rising in rank means freedom, the beginning of something new. Some many new things, in Catra's case. But Catra definitively shows us in this scene that she doesn't desire the success for herself. She only shows happiness for Adora, for them together, and she's ecstatic. (pic 1, fyi)
This, in Catra's mind, probably means the start of their romantic lives. If Adora is the force captain that brings them to victory, SW won't be able to just trample all over their lives. Catra can begin letting down some walls, maybe even let Adora pursue her romantically. If they're together, and Adora is on her side because of that, she becomes safe from her abuser. It's a much better outcome than trying to fight SW, but that's not how the story goes. No, Adora leaves her instead. How's that for emotional whiplash? All of these truths are laid bare in s3ep5, when we see Catra's perfect reality, when she and Adora are together romantically. Catra only wants to be safe and to be loved, but when Adora leaves her she loses trust in the goodness of Adora, and in people in general.
> Adora tells Catra she shouldn't be surprised she's been cut of of the mission because she's so rude to SW, to which Catra responds by calling Adora a people pleaser, then storming off in anger...
::Note, as this is important: Adora is taking SW’s side, and not Catra’s, which is entirely opposite of their early childhood memory of Octavia. It shows how Adora had started listening to the negative judgements others placed on Catra...
>Adora goes after Catra, finding her sulking on the roof. Catra is angry, betrayed by the world, at the injustice that SW is in her life. Adora asks "I didn't even think you wanted to be a force captain?" Catra tossed the badge at her, saying she doesn't. Then she folds her body up, holding herself. Adora sees this, but doesn't touch her. She's being careful to respect Catra's boundaries. But the anger Catra feels here isn't about being denied the chance to be a force captain, it's at all the hurt that SW has dealt her and continues to do so. And Adora doesn't see that, which disappoints Catra. But, she's unable to verbalize it herself, she is too insecure in her emotional vulnerability, so she lets it slide.
What we have here is two different instances of the same question with two different answers, but in both cases Catra is telling the truth. In episode 1, it's the truth that she doesn't care about being a force captain because of her love for Adora, and the promise, in her mind, that they will eventually be together. In episode 11, Catra then says she lied, and this now is also true: Catra did think about what she was going through, all the pain and sacrifices she made for Adora, which were done in the name of love. But Adora doesn't love her the way that Catra loves Adora, instead leaving her behind. And so now that Adora didn't ever see how excellent a person Catra actually was, how dedicated to her she is, and the pain she was willing to bear for her sake, it does matter. Because that's shitty of her, and so now Catra will survive on her own by her own excellence, her strength that Adora never stopped to see. So Catra is guilting Adora, trying to make her see how blind and unfeeling she is.
>Back to ep11: Catra tries to walk away from Adora, who desperately chases her, trying to understand why Catra is becoming so distant, wanting her to tell her what's wrong. She reaches out for Catra's shoulder in one last attempt to get Catra to talk, she knows touching Catra could maybe get her to be more open. But the truth is Adora has been far too easy on Catra, she needs to be more forceful if she wants Catra to talk, which she later comes to understand... she's been coddling Catra, and so Catra is allowed to wallow in her unhealthy mental states.
Catra takes Adora's hand, forcefully holding it away from her and delivering a hurtful line: "Why do you think I gave the sword back to you in the fright zone? I didn't WANT you to come back, Adora!" This hits Adora like a load of bricks, her dismay is evident. And it's all true, which is the sad part. Catra was already preparing to cut ties with Adora, as even by that point she had come to a realization, a decision: if Adora doesn't want to be with her, then she'll do it herself. She will do the hard things on her own.
She turns away from Adora, looking hurt and betrayed. And Adora is at a complete loss, she doesn't know this side of Catra, this part of her that has survived hardship all these years... she lets her leave, not knowing what to do.
Adora is then attacked by the security, which takes up her time. As that happens, we see memories only shown to Catra. Catra runs, emotionally overwhelmed as all the unfair judgements, the abuse, and hollow apologies ring out around her. All the years of frustration and sadness weigh on her, she tries to keep it together, lashing out at the holograms. She falls to her knees, fighting back emotion and trying not to cry, her inner, vulnerable self is near the surface, and she's trying not to break down in tears over all of the hurt she's had to bear...
… and then she hears soft crying...
She turns to see her younger, tiny self, crying. Then, a tiny Adora joins the tiny Catra. Unlike the other memories, Catra never flashes into her younger self, she just watches...
The tiny Adora pulls the blanket down, Catra hisses at her... Adora sits down next to her tenderly. And we finally get the promise, the two parts that Adora has so tragically broke...
Adora tells her "It doesn't matter what they do to us, you know? You look out for me, and I look out for you... nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other." The tiny Catra looks at Adora, wanting to trust her, to believe in her. As she says the question, present Catra echos it: "You promise ?" This was a sacred moment that gave Catra hope as a young orphan, that maybe she would be ok.
And so, the present Catra echoes it. Adora tells her she promises, as the skeptical present Catra looks on. Tiny Catra is still sad, insecure... she hugs Adora, needing this. Adora suggests they go back out to play... and we see tiny Catra look at her, still afraid, reluctant, wanting to stay. But she decides to trust Adora, and so they walk out, holding hands. Then something unique happens. Tiny Catra stops to look up at her present self: note, this is entirely a unique moment in the simulation, it never happened in reality... and yet Catra is given this moment...
The innocent child stares up Catra, making her see her. It's a look full of meaning, it doesn't carry any specific emotion... only innocence. Catra is having an inner child moment. That most deep and innocent part of her, her vulnerable self who feels love, is communicating with her. It's asking her to see it's vulnerability, and it's pain. Catra sees this, all of the pain Adora has caused her, the breaking of the promise, the promise that this innocent part of her was holding on to desperately with hope. She is forced to acknowledge Adora's disloyalty to her, her carelessness. Catra is reflecting on how she did her absolute best to keep that promise, even after Adora failed to look out for her in SW's chamber. Catra was so loyal and so good to Adora all of their lives; she made sure Adora had a good life, and she played by SW's rules so Adora could be the chosen one, wanting to protect her. All in the hope that they would be together, and that their love was real. But Adora couldn't even do that much, she left her. And Adora doesn't understand her, she doesn't even seem to miss her.
[pic 9: Broken Promises, Catra’s inner child, The Hero goes Her Own Way].
Present Catra watches her tiny self leave, coming to the tough realization: that she's never been able to trust Adora, not really. Her love isn't reciprocated, not by her standards.
…. which makes Adora a deeply unsafe person to Catra...
Catra survived SW's abuse, learning to believe in herself, protect herself because no one else would. All while keeping this hope of love in her heart, this vulnerable core of herself that has tenderness and loves Adora, and needs love back. But, her need for love goes to such a deep vulnerability that giving in to it and then again being rejected or forgotten by Adora would simply destroy her. SW held the threat of death over Catra’s head her entire life, and Catra resisted it, got through it by being tough and trusting in herself. So now she sees she can't trust Adora: everything that happened since she left her behind, the fact that Adora always treats her as an enemy, that she seems to show no lingering desire for her, and doesn't even seem to miss her while replacing her with new friends, seems to confirm her worst fears. Fears that have been building over the years, starting when Adora broke their promise in SW's chamber, and then as Adora pursued her success while accepting praise and privilege from SW, ignoring the abuse Catra bore because of it. She decides she can't trust Adora. Love is a lie, a weakness. A weakness that could destroy her last bit of individuality, and belief in the world.
And so, Catra, The Survivor, makes the decision... in her mind it's the brave one, just like way back when and she decided to bravely stand up to SW's abuse and not let it destroy her: she will stand up to the threat that is the weakness of her love for Adora. Adora is selfish, she doesn't deserve Catra's love. She was stupid to believe that love was even possible, for someone like her… who has always been ignored, and told she is unworthy of praise or even existence. There's only one thing left for her to do: she will be alone, strong on her own, for herself.
Her gaze hardens... that part of her that has made sure she survived SW's abuse, and made sure she won fights when she was threatened, is now the decider. It will protect her from her vulnerability, and reject Adora for her. I suppose you might be confused as to what I'm referring, or maybe not... If you haven't had to fight for your life, whether physically, mentally, or otherwise, you might not know this side of yourself well. But we all have it, it's The Survivor. And while I knew mine would protect me, I didn't accept it as my real self, I didn't accept its necessary but vicious deeds as my own. This is very much how Catra is, and as the series goes on she puts this survivor in charge of more and more decisions, we watch her deteriorate as this part of her gets out of control, protecting her from darkness with more darkness. All the while her vulnerable inner self suffers, watching the horrible deeds and becoming more and more alone, desperate for affection.
>Adora is outnumbered, eventually ending up hanging from the cliff's edge by spider webs. She hears Catra return, dealing with the spiders. Adora looks up, hopeful because Catra has returned...
Catra saunters in. Let me say a few things before we go through this part: Catra is about to say a lot of things that aren't really true. They are instead meant to be hurtful to Adora, Catra is being intentionally mean. We shouldn't take her exact words as her authentic beliefs, because they're not... no, Catra is doing what she believes she has to so she can be apart for Adora, and be safe from her. The truth is, Catra needs to be away from Adora. She's too scared of the vulnerability that is her love for Adora, because Adora hasn't shown her that she cares. And she can't do that by defecting, no, she must stay with the Horde. It's the only thing she feels there is left for her to do.
Now, let's go through this: and heads up: I'm getting at something very powerful that's going on here that you may not have realized. This speech is, in fact, a heroic moment. A heroic moment... for Catra. Not Adora, for Catra. And you just need to open your ears to hear it...
"Hey Adora."
🎶 is sad
"Catra! Help me, please!"
"This thing wouldn't work for me if I tried, would it? It only works for you... then again, you're special... that's what Shadow Weaver always said..."
🎶 is melancholy
"Catra, what are you doing??"
"Ah, ya know, it all makes sense now... you've always been the one holding me back... you wanted me to think I needed you, you wanted me to feel weak."
🎶 has even tone
"Every hero needs a sidekick, right?"
"Catra that's not how it was.."
🎶 rises, falls, sad (“Promise” begins playing)
*Catra chuckles* "The sad thing is I've spent all this time hoping you'd come back to the Horde... when really you leaving was the best thing that EVER happened to me..."
🎶 lowers, is dark, is dramatic. -Note: we see Catra seemingly become deranged as she says this line. This is Catra deceiving herself out of perceived necessity.
"I am so much stronger than anyone... ever... thought." *she cuts part of the web*
🎶 begins to rise, uplifting
"I wonder what I could have been if I'd gotten rid of you sooner." *she cuts the rest of the web, Adora falls, catching herself*
🎶 rises, is dramatic
"I'm sorry! I never meant to make you feel like you were second best. Please, don't do this."
🎶 is still rising, uplifting
*Catra stands proudly, nobly, looking at the sword. She looks down at Adora, then she casually tosses the sword past her...
🎶 is rising, hopeful, heroic.
"Bye Adora, I really am going to miss you..."
🎶 is heroic, violins now playing, adding depth
*Catra turns and walks away from Adora, proudly*
🎶 has risen to its height, crests, is heroic.
"Catra... Catra, no!!"
🎶 remains high, cresting, heroic
*Adora cries, sad, confused by Catra's leaving her...*
🎶 crests again, fades out...
Ok, so... let's talk about what just happened here. The undeniable conclusion is that this was meant to be a heroic moment, and a damn heroic moment... for Catra. The writers are telling us that Catra leaving is an important part of her hero’s journey, and that it was the right thing to do. You might be wondering, how can that be? The short answer is, Catra is on a hero’s journey unlike all the other hero’s journeys normally portrayed in fiction. All of it, even her darkest deeds, all her cruelty towards Adora, will be part of a very... important... and powerful... journey. One which will forge her into a hero in this series, in her own incredible right... how this is, what she is, is yet to be revealed... but make no mistake, she's a hero. Just not the one you expect…
We see Adora open her eyes, and see Light Hope. She tells Adora to let go. She means of her emotional attachments, as we find out. Adora cries for her lost Catra, that she couldn't bring her back to her. She lets go...
BIG ASSERTION TIME: Now, I know it's a common theory that these memories were all just an elaborate manipulation by Light Hope to divide the girls from each other, but I don't agree with that. No, I believe this was a memory journey guided by Catra, subconsciously, to help her tell Adora why she couldn't come with her, why she has to be apart.
Take for instance the memories and visions that Adora sees when she's on her way to the Heart of Etheria in season 5: this system exists apart from Light Hope, who dies at the end for season 4. This simulation comes from somewhere more primal: in my belief, it is the deep magic of Etheria being visualized through the First One's tech. We see the simulation show Catra the promise memory, something Adora isn't shown at all, and then allows her to see her inner child's hurt. Something deeper is going on here, and you should consider how strongly the magic of Etheria is resonating with Catra when it does. Because the magic of Etheria will again speak directly to Catra, this isn't the last time... In short, the magic helps the two of them to understand each other, because Catra is an important part of Adora's true She-ra journey.
I also believe that a theme of this series is that abusers, like L. Hope, are not perfect vindictive manipulators. They are flawed, and L. Hope in particular, I believe, is no genius: she fails time and time again. That L. Hope uses the moment to get Adora to let go is her using the moment to her advantage, she didn't play ultimate control over it. She just piggy backed on Catra's hurt to do it. So that last memory really was for Catra... Furthermore, I simply cannot believe L.Hope would understand the concept of the inner child… as she can't even understand sarcasm.
But now, because of this, Adora now knows of Catra's pain... and this is the beginning of Adora's long journey back to Catra, of her repairing their bond…
Let's address the obvious counterpoint: Adora now knows that Catra is hurt, but she doesn't yet understand why. And it's not really her fault, as Catra doesn't know how to talk about her feelings, among other things. But it's apparent that Adora doesn't remember these crucial memories as well as Catra does, even though they were critical in her development as well. Adora is a mess of emotions, just like Catra, and (if) she has ADHD, it might be one reason why she doesn't really get Catra. Especially if her parental figure has been manipulating it against her. Adora very much vibrates between stimuli anxiously, so SW might have made her forgetful by distraction over time. Also, the way in which Adora treats Catra as an enemy when she doesn't accept Adora’s (totally rushed, afterthought, and hollow) ultimatum that she defect with her, is a reflection of Adora's ingrained Horde war training… this is something she has to unlearn, as it is wrong. But Adora is a good person, she really, truely, is, because Adora never stops trying to make it better. And so, she slowly, but surely, comes to understand Catra’s trauma.
We get one last scene of Catra returning to the fright zone. We get to see Catra's truth here: She walks, as if she's not even there, she's deadened by the sorrow and the inevitability of what her life will now be: one of hard work, and zero joy. She will try her best to stand on her own, and put Adora out of her heart, slamming its doors shut against love. It doesn't work, but that's what she's trying to do, nonetheless. This is the beginning of a profound depression that builds over the next 3 seasons, and combined with new traumas, nearly takes her life.
But the tech Catra has brought back will end up giving her what she needs to face down and depose SW, just like she needed...
::Here is another complicated twist that's so essential to She-ra as a series: Catra, in fact, protects Adora by taking down SW. Catra may go on to command the Hordes forces so effectively that it pushes the Princess alliance harder than it's ever been pushed before, but her deposing SW is extremely important in the story. She both removes SW’s ability to attack Adora, and then denies her any sorcerous power by taking the Black Garnet from her, since SW needs an external source to draw power from in order to use her vampiric powers...
Ok so more theory time: it's a common belief that Catra stays with the Horde, and goes on to try to conquer the world out of some deep need to externally validate herself, and to prove she was the better child by beating Adora. I don't think any of these explanations are true. Catra may go on to play such a character on a surface level, but every time she professes to have any such ambitions, she is either in the presence of Adora, or under incredible stress. In the one case, she's saying those things to try to hurt Adora, and make her see how naive and foolish Adora always was, especially now that Adora thinks she can fight against her.
In the other case, it's actually her survivor mechanism trying to take over, to make her world safe. In every case where Catra says something about ambition, somewhere in that scene, Catra shows the distinct emotions of her true inner self: generally, these emotions are sorrow, fear, and loneliness. They don't exist on screen long, they are what is known as micro expressions. (See below for a short discussion of Catra’s micro expressions.)
To put it simply, the only reason Catra stays with the Horde is so she has somewhere she can be separate from her feelings and heartbreak over Adora, and then she climbs the ranks in order to find safety, first from SW, and then Hordak, once he threatens her life with his temper tantrums. That she fights against Adora is just a collateral consequence, she isn't out to get Adora, but nor does she care if Adora gets hurt, because she’s hurt her. Catra does fight against the princesses, though (including She-ra).
A core feature of Catra's character is indeed one of personal power. She's a person who is told to hurry up and die at an early age, but refused to do so. So her arc, her issue, isn't a cautionary tale about chasing validation, it's about her overcoming her fear of vulnerability and allowing herself to rely on others in a way that lets her be safe without needing to combat the darkness with more darkness. But vulnerability scares her because of the abuse she experienced.
As for validation, the only person she would want that from is Adora. This is because Catra believes in herself already: that she has a sacred right to exist, no matter what SW and others may tell her (note: Adora struggles with this, she's actually the one who seeks validation). But, she also needs love, and she is too fearful that Adora doesn't really love her and is afraid of being hurt by that. It's also why I think she's so chaotic towards Adora: her inner child tells her adult self to protect her from her love for Adora, which it tries to do, but that same child misses and needs Adora in so many ways. So she's trying to be mean to compensate for the incredible desire she feels towards Adora. I love it when Adora calls her a brat in season 5, it's such a well deserved line, mmhhmmm.
Actual discussions of how these particulars play out in the show are better left for another time, but there you have it.
Promise sidebar discussions: Catra’s micro expressions; Catra nearly dies at the Battle of Bright Moon
“White Out” microexpression discussion: [see pics below] This is the first time since the Battle of Bright Moon that Catra and Adora meet. So it's a good time to talk about Catra’s micro expressions. Picture 1: Adora says “Hey, Catra” out of the blue and Catra is completely blindsided, she figured she wouldn't be bothered out in the middle of nowhere. She's anxious and unhappy to be seeing Adora. Along with her suspicious absence the episode before in “Roll With It”, the answer is obvious: Catra has been avoiding Adora. She may have cut ties with her in “Promise”, nearly bested her at the Battle of BM, but she doesn't want to see her. She doesn't know what she feels about her.
Picture 2: Enraged monsters are decimating the base, and a battle breaks out over the corrupted disc. Catra is desperately trying to protect it, because she can control Adora if she has it... and she needs this chance to have her back. As Catra reaches to pick it up, she's facing away from everyone and so no one can see her desperation and sadness from missing Adora. (pic 2) Shortly after, we also see her clutch the disc desperately to her chest in a way that's very endearing, right before the monster attacks her and makes her drop it. Then, as she's about to die in its jaws because she doesn't want to give Adora up again, Scorpia breaks the disc and saves her life. We see in this episode as Catra completely loses track of her emotions, and now realizes she has to come to terms with the fact that she's so desperately sad from missing Adora, she was willing to die just for a chance to have her back.
Pic 3: Catra hates working for the Horde. She HATES it. She gets zero joy from the job, and she’s already figured out that Hordak will kill her if she screws up too badly. She didn't want this job, plain and simple, but now feels stuck with it. None of this is the life she wanted. Combining this knowledge against Catra’s declaration to Adora at the end of Promise, we know she's not happy that she had to go her own way...
Catra’s near death experience at the Battle of Bright Moon
At the Battle of Bright Moon, Catra leads Adora (She-ra) away. They battle, but then Catra retreats and instead starts listing out every single worst fear of failure she thinks Adora has. It's a dark moment, she's acting much like SW did to them as children, and we watch her manipulation take root in Adora. Finally, her words are too much, and as Catra looks down at Adora's (She-ra's) back, we see Adora become deranged, overcome with her fear of failing everyone... (pic1, above) she picks up a boulder and throws it directly at Catra. Catra is knocked flying, and only by the barest of margins does she keep from falling to her death. Adora nearly kills Catra. And so, as Adora drags Catra up from the cliff and slams her into the wall, we see a totally heartbroken and emotionally crushed Catra. In this moment, Catra believes all of her worst fears are confirmed: Adora only cares about being She-ra, so much so that Adora would kill her in the name of being that hero. Catra uses this moment, this belief, to justify her division from Adora. Sadly, she's wrong... she's ignoring the seriousness of the threat that the battle poses, and as Adora was facing away from her during that moment, she doesn't see the terror and desperation Adora experiences due to her cruel words…
Oh, and one more thing before we go: when Catra says “What, did you really think this was about you ?” SPOILER ALERT: It was. Because She-ra is one big Catradora story… and we love it.
As always, thanks for reading. <3
~EtheriaDearie
P.S. :: as I am new to tumblr, if you enjoyed reading this, please consider giving me a reblogg! Thanks!! 🙇💛
#she ra#spop#she ra and the princesses of power#catradora#happy birthday Catra#catra#she ra shadow weaver#shadow weaver#adora#my writing#thanks for reading#she ra synopsis#she ra fan theory#she ra meta
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Mon 1 Feb ‘21
Happy 27th Birthday to Harry! For Harry’s birthday, everyone gave us the gift of their unseen pics, from people who want to brag about being lucky enough to get to hang out and do friend stuff with him, behind the scenes pics from photoshoots and concerts and the TPWK shoot and charity visits, and sweet casual pics from extended family (and tributes to how lovely he is from the people who know him best, his relatives, such as “gorgeous man”, “youngest pup” (sooo ABO Harry is canon I guess), and “obnoxiously obnoxious”). Photo highlights include a moody chiarascuro shot from Helene Pabrum, cute snaps from Tokyo friends, a weird video from the Brits of him carefully pouring tequila from one bottle to another to make them have the same amount, and an even weirder contribution from Freddie’s grandma Ruth who posted a manip of him... and Louis.. and Freddie…?? UMMM OKAY THEN. She fits right in with the other instagram fans tbh, why am I even surprised. ANYWAY, speaking of hellholes where people want to believe everything at once even if there’s direct contradiction, twitter dedicated a moment to Harry. They weren’t wrong, he dominated the trends all day, and not only that all that seemed to be about him actually WERE as far as I know, unlike yesterday when there were so many Louis trends that the trend explainer person got overwhelmed and just started saying all the trends were about Louis (Freddie Mercury and Michael Clifford were actually getting talked about as it happens). But, important question here, does Liam Gallagher know it’s Harry’s birthday? “Of course, I’ve sent him some flowers”, he says, which if true is very sweet but also I hope “some” actually means a ludicrously huge quantity of some kind of weird-ass flowers as payback for the 2k worth of fish Harry sent him!
Not to be outdone by all this content, the powers that be brought us pap pics from the DWD set (taken Saturday). Harry, likely in reaction to doing the same photo op multiple times (you can tell by how he’s only carrying his bizarrely huge water bottle and wearing the costume ring in some pics), does a little goofy walk for the cameras in his period costume: slacks, tattoos covered, hair slicked, and the piece de resistance, a cute lil flowered apron!! I KNOW he’s gonna be all creepy and stuff in the movie and the frilly apron scene won’t be nearly as much fun as TODAY’S frilly apron scene, but still, can’t wait to see it. Florence Pugh joins him on the trailer to set pap walk(s), both masked up. Later there were more pics, with his massive water bottle again (which has motivating ‘drink more water’ encouragements on the side, you would think he got enough of that on twitter), but alas no more apron. People mag made an effort to make something of the fact that he and Olivia were both present on the set of the film they both are working on but they truly had nothing. I’m sure something ludicrous lurks just around the corner though...
The anniversary celebratory fanart has been taken down from Louis’ spotify but it looks like it was a hit-- most of the tracks have been put on one or another of their popularity driven weekly playlists and Defenseless in particular looks set to break into the top 200 this week. Walls sales, likewise, shot up over the anniversary.
#harry styles#louis tomlinson#saw a pap pic of Gigi in NYC and thought it was one of the pics of Florence from set for a minute#on account of Gigi’s coat looking exactly like a bathrobe#holivia#but no holivia#1 feb 21#helene pabrum#bg
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Anon said: i love love love LOVE how you just draw gojo leaning onto getou, hiding his face in getou's neck or back or chest <////3 im just so heartbroken over those two
So glad to hear you like him clingy as much as I do!! TT^TT as far as I’m concerned he wasn’t clingy enough in canon, so I’m fixing it as much as I can with every new doodle haha
Anon said: whenever im sad i just come to your account and look through your art :")) it brings me so much comfort :')) also i gotta mention that the teacher getou art you've made has healed my broken heart bc of jjk and now that is the only canon i accept thank you very much gege akutami has nothing on me
GAH GETO-SENSEI MY ONE AND ONLY I’m happy he makes you as soft as he does me, he’s such a comfort to me ;;;; and thank you for liking my stuff!!!! Means the world to me to hear it ;A; <3
Anon said: I miss your krbk sm 😔 No pressure intended!!!!!! I still love and support u and ur art!!!
Man I miss them too!!!!! @ hori when are you bringing my loves back from the war I’m here waiting good sir!!!
Anon said: v v curious on your thoughts on what’s currently going on in bnha manga :)))
HMMM what are my thoughts on it? Well, let’s split it in two: Deku’s side and Todoroki’s side, because that’s how it’s split in my brain atm, and allow me to start from the second because it’s easier to get through for me
I’m in love with everything Hori is doing with Todoroki and everyone involved with him - that’s to say his whole whole family and Hawks and Jeanist too, all of it, I’m so into it it’s no joke at all. Always been in love with how he handles Enji’s character and his interactions with his family and the latest developments didn’t disappoint me at all, wasn’t very much into Dabi right after the “reveal” but the more I think about it and about the story from his pov the more behind it I am, forever and always head over heels for Shouto’s way of dealing with a situation that’s as complex as one would expect from a protagonist of their very own story you could really make a manga out of the Todoroki’s family plot from Shouto’s pov alone, it’s incredible I can’t state how in love with it all I am enough. And Hawks, don’t make me start on him I’ll straight up never stop, absolutely and most definitely my favorite pro-hero I would trust him with my money and my kids 100/10 just assume I’m constantly crying over him. Also Jeanist is just hilarious so bless him and his presence in an otherwise too heavy story
Deku’s side........ well, the main problems I have with it are that one, I don’t really understant the need to keep ofa a secret from the class for the biggest part of the story when the reveal wasn’t forced upon Deku, didn’t have a huge impact on him or his relationship with the others (his leaving wasn’t directly caused by him coming clean after all, he wouldn’t have had to leave earlier had he not kept it a secret and he would have still left at this point had the class already known all along) and didn’t, like. Matter. All that much. Two, this manga is called my hero academia and I’m genuinely starting to wonder why. What was the point of all the arcs set inside the school anyway? Most of the characters growth (Deku’s especially) and the progression of the main plot happened in the arcs outside of the school anyway, and at this point it’s clear we’re not going back to the school after this or even seeing anyone graduate. What of Shinsou? What was the point of his plot when we’re not even gonna see him being active part of the class in a school environment? I’m just confused about it all, I guess. Three, which is really my biggest problem with it all, is the way Deku’s set on saving Shigaraki. It’s not like I don’t like a story in which all the villains are saved and the good guys win and love prevails and all that, call it corny but they’re exactly my type of stories, but I’m not sure I can get behind it when Twice died like that, and Midnight did as well, and Aizawa lost a leg, and Nighteye died, and Hawks might have lost his wings, and Shirakumo ended up Kurogiri and it’s still unclear whether he can be saved, like... why does Shigaraki get to be saved when so many people suffered like that? And it’s not only about them suffering by his hands, it’s about Hori and how he was ruthless with so many characters but lets the story show arbitrary kindness to Shigaraki alone, it’s all... well. Unfair. The way I see it. At this point I at the very least expect kindness for Touya as well, here.
That said if I pick the chapters one by one by themselves I do enjoy them very much. I just don’t gotta think about the big picture lmao AH but it’s all a personal opinion, of course! I know people who enjoy the way the story is going and I can see where they’re coming from, this is all arbitrary tastes and preferences on my part, I’m aware of it!
Anon said: Hi hi! I finally got into jjk AND finally caught up on the manga and i appreciate your doods soooo much more now!! They’re so great!! But imcurious, is there one specific moment in the story where you Gojo and Geto became IT for you? Just genuinely curious!!
THANK YOU happy to hear you liked jjk!!!! And that’s!!! a great question, I’m not sure I have an answer actually? I binged the manga in a day and a half, you see, and when I binge stuff that fast I rarely stop to overthink things - I did ship them as I read too since, well. They’re in love lmao but I shipped them in the same way I shipped itafushi or yuutoge after I read the prequel, you know? Just a general aknowledging of how good they were together. The main point with satosugu specifically was probably that satoru has been my favorite character since the beginning of the story and suguru got there as well as soon as I read their backstory, so once I was caught up they’re the ones I ended up spending the most time thinking about, both by themselves and together, and that ended up making me a bit obsessed..... just a bit lol
If I had to give one specific moment that got me by the heart and squeezed the hardest it’d be... probably Satoru’s “my soul knows otherwise”. And the way his voice alone could bring Suguru back, even for just a single moment. The thing about satosugu for me!!! one of the many things about them, but the main thing for me, is that they love each other. Be it platonic or however you wanna see it, they love each other. Despite everything and after it all, even if Satoru had to kill Suguru, even if Suguru killed so many and betrayed Satoru and they went their separate ways in the harshest of ways, they love each other. It’s insane, isn’t it? That they’d love each other so much they could pass over everything and anything. I’ve seen the “best friends become enemies” trope so often in shounen manga, but this is the first time I see it treated like this - with love so strong that they never blamed each other or turned that love in hate. The way satosugu do it is all-encompassing! It goes beyond the world and their differences and death itself! So if I had to pick it’d be that one, because that scene happens after it’s all over, and it all went to shit and way beyond too already, and still their souls resonate with each other and answer to each other and that sends me insane, just thinking about it. Like, god, they really still love each other. Satoru’s mourned for Suguru for a year, Suguru’s been dead for a year, they’d been separated ten whole years before then, and still! And still!!! It’s so tender I don’t know how to deal with it
Anon said: “What’s a god to a nonbeliever?”—That tag is going to haunt me for a while. The entire tag section for your latest Gojo and Geto drawing is meta-worthy.
THANK YOU it’d been eating at my brain I had to write it down somewhere why are those two like that
Anon said: Do you take commissions? No pressure! ✨❤️
Not right now!
Anon said: How do you feel about sukuna ? like/dislike or thoughts on him
AMAZING QUESTION I love him. I have absolutely zero clue as of why so don’t ask me to elaborate, I’m literally that marge pic with the potato when it’s about Sukuna, I have no meta thoughts about him nor deep reasonings behind it - by all accounts, I should dislike him! But he shows up and I’m like nghhh king, so that’s where we stand. It’s Sukuna, you know. I just think he’s neat.
Anon said: sighs time to get into another fandom bc i simp too hard for ur art 😔
HAH thank you for the trust I hope you’ll like ror if you do get into it!!! hahaha
#fran answers#oh two of these are Long#.....#long post#in case the readmore doesn't work for whatever reason
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Tuwaine’s Friend
Pairing(s):Tom Holland x Black!Reader,Platonic!Tuwaine Barrett x Black!Reader
Warnings: None
Not Requested
~*~
You and Tuwaine became fast friends while he was visiting the states back in 2015. You ran into each other at a McDonalds.A middle aged woman was making a big scene about her order being made wrong.Tuwaine,who was in front of you in line,turned towards you and asked you if this was something that happened often.
“You mean at McDonalds?Have you never been here?”You asked,more curious than trying to be rude.
“Oh,I actually meant the states in general.” He clarified.The use of the term “the states” made everything click.
“Oooh,you’re not from here!Yeah,sadly,this is a pretty normal thing.It’s best to get a woman like her’s order exactly right the first time or there will be a scene.”
Tuwaine sighs in frustration. “I’m just trying to eat.”
“Don’t worry,it won’t be too much longer before she storms off.”You comforted him.As you said this,the woman let out a final obnoxious sigh.
“I will be calling corporate about this!” She angrily grabbed her takeout bag and stomped out of the restaurant.
“Thank God.” Tuwaine muttered quietly so only you could hear him.You giggled as he walked up to the counter.The cashier apologized about the scene to which Tuwaine assured her it was alright.He gave her his order then turned to you again.
“...And whatever the nice lady behind me wants.”
Your eyes widened a bit.”You sure?” You asked,taken back by the kindness.He nodded with a small smile.You thanked him then proceeded with your order.
The two of you ate together and talked about anything that came to mind.He eventually explained to you that it was actually his last day there before he went back home.Not wanting this to be last time you talked to the sweet guy, you decided to exchange numbers to keep in touch.
~*~
Now in present day,Tuwaine fools around with Tom between scenes of Spider-Man:Far From Home.As Tuwaine laughs about something with Tom,he gets a text from one of the staff members that someone by the name of Y/N L/N was there to see him.
“Oh shit,she’s here!” He exclaimed,jumping up out of his spot.
“Wait,the girl you mentioned earlier?I’m not ready!” Tom says,dramatically running to the nearest mirror to try to fix his hair.
“You’re Tom Holland,she’ll be happy to see you no matter what you look like.” He rolls his eyes at his friend’s desperate attempt to look more put together.In a matter of minutes,the two of them hear a knock on the door of Tom’s trailer.Tuwaine whips open the door and smiles when he sees you.He pulls you in and tackles you in a bear hug to which let out a startled and happy laugh.Tom smiles at the pure interaction in front of him.As Tuwaine let’s go of you,he finally introduces the two of you.
“Tom,Y/N.Y/N,Tom.” He motions between the two of you.
“Hi,it’s really nice to meet you.” Tom says with a bright smile that makes your face heat up.These are times where you’re happy that your melanin hides your shyness.
“Nice to meet you too,Tom.And may I just say,you’re even more attractive in person.”You say,making it Tom’s turn to blush.You discreetly watch in the corner of your eye as Tuwaine rolls his eyes.
“I can say the same about you!The pictures Tuwaine showed me didn’t do you justice.”Tom chuckles a bit as he remembers one pic in particular.”Especially the one where-“ Tuwaine quickly shushes him to save his own skin.Tom slapped a hand over his mouth,but it was too late.You menacingly turned towards you’re old friend.
“You showed Tom Holland an embarrassing picture of me?!”Before Tuwaine could even properly explain himself,Tom was called onto set.He quickly excused himself and told the two of you that he’ll be back in a bit.You watched him exit the trailer,then turned towards Tuwaine once again.He smiled nervously.
“You don’t have to go with him?” You asked,motioning to the door to which Tuwaine explained that he already filmed his scene.He tensed as you moved towards him,not expecting the hug that came after.
“You’re lucky I’ve missed ya ass too much to be mad at you.” You begrudgingly told him.He let out a sigh of relief and hugged you back.
“Oh,thank God.You hungry?”
“I could eat.”
~*~
As the day went on,the three of you actually spent a lot of time together.Even Jake,Zendaya,and Jacob would join you guys once in a while.And let me tell you,your heart was not ready for any of those interactions.You literally almost cried when Zendaya introduced herself to you.During you guys’ down time together,you’d often catch Tom sneaking glances at you.You didn’t want to get your hopes up,so you dismissed it as just him being curious of the person who seemed to mean so much to his dear friend.You really wanted to stay around all of these lovely people, but at around 1:00 in the morning you realized filming wasn’t going to end anytime soon and that you should probably turn in for the night.When you made this decision,it was only you in Tuwaine in the trailer.
“Tutu,I think I’m gonna head to the hotel now.” You announced,using the embarrassing nickname that you first gave him about three months into your friendship.He watched as you started to gather your things.”
Yeah,it is getting pretty late.You want me to come with you?”Tuwaine asked.You looked down with mock shyness and muttered “If you don’t mind.”He rolled his eyes and huffed at your antics.As the two of you made your way out of the trailer,he mentioned that you guys should inform Tom you were leaving.You agreed and the two of you headed towards the set.You made sure they weren’t filming before approaching Tom as he got his suit adjusted by a stylist.He smiled as he caught sight of the two of you,then realized you had you’re stuff in your hands.
“Oh,are you guys leaving?” He asked and pouted at you.His cute frowny face caught you off guard,but luckily Tuwaine answered for the both you.
“Yeah,this one here isn’t really used to being out so late.” He said motioning to you.”Not mention the slight time zone changed has me feeling a little off.” You added.
“Oh,no it’s fine,I totally get it.” Tom said,quick to reassure you that there was no problem.”So uhh,I’ll see you later,man.” He said,dapping Tuwaine off then turning to you with his arms open.”May I?” He asked.You giggled at his politeness and gave him an enthusiastic “Yeah,sure!” The hug was quick,but warm and overall really pleasant.As you were still holding each other,he muttered “It was really nice to meet you.” You smiled grew as you replied “You too,Tom.”
The two of you broke away and you and Tuwaine told him a final bye over your shoulder as you made your way to exit.
~*~
Like the good friend Tuwaine is,he got you safely to your hotel room and made sure you had everything you needed.He planned on staying with you for a bit,then realized that you were quite literally about to pass out.He turned off the lights for you as you plopped yourself down on your bed.Before he could fully close the door behind him.His text tone went off.He unlocked his phone to see that the text was from Tom.
Hey,you still around Y/N?
Tuwaine starred oddly at his phone.
Uh no,she’s passed out on her bed and I’m heading to my room.Why?
Okay,good!I got some questions.
You’re questions can wait,I need a shower.
Tuwaine replied as he set his things down in his own room.
DON’T LEAVE ME!! Tom dramatically texted back.Tuwaine shook his head at the text,threw his phone on the bed,and went to the bathroom to start his shower.
About half an hour later,Tuwaine came out of the shower and picked up his phone again.His attention was brought to a notification of a new text from Tom.
Tom: I hate you 😡
Tuwaine simply rolled his eyes,completely used to his friend’s dramatics. Sure you do.And we were literally in the same place like less than an hour ago,why didn’t you ask your qUeSTIonS then?
Tom: Because she was RIGHT THERE!
EXACTLY SO WHY DIDN’T Tuwaine began to write out,then realized what Tom meant by his text.Oooooh THOSE type of questions.Are they something on the lines of is she single?Maybe even her body count? Tuwaine asked,deciding to tease him.
Tom: SHUT TF UP ITS NOT LIKE THAT
Well maybe the first question...
I truly can’t stand you.
Tuwaine: You want the answer to your question or not?
Tom: 😐
Tuwaine: No she’s not seeing anyone 🙄
Tom: ...Set me up a date with her.
At that moment,Tuwaine really wished Tom was in his room with him just so he could see the look of disbelief on his face. Bruv I know you haven’t been on a date in a while,but that is definitely something you do YOURSELF.
Tom: But she makes me hella nervous!
Tuwaine: When did you start using the word hella?You’ve been spending too much time with Zendaya.
Tom: Can’t really help that when she’s,well,my literal love interest.
Tuwaine: Keep that attitude up and I’ll tell Y/N that you shit yourself in your sleep.
Tom: If you tell her that,you’ll have to say goodbye to my fans for me bc I’d literally throw myself off of the nearest building.
Tuwaine: You do that like every day on set,nothing new really.
Tom: I have to go arsehole.Please just send me her number.
Tuwaine: Sure.Don’t die while doing stunts or whatever.
Tom: Love you too Tuwaine 🥰😘❤️❤️😊
Tuwaine couldn’t help but laugh at the text as he put his phone on his charger and finally climbed into bed to rest.
~*~
Yow woke up at around 8:00am to a text from an unknown number.The text read Hey,it’s Tom!I hope you don’t mind that Tuwaine gave me your number.You smiled at the text and mentally noted to thank Tuwaine later. Oh I don’t mind at all 😊 What’s up Tom?Well I guess filming right?😂 You cringed at your reply but it was too late to delete it.You got a reply in less than a minute.
Tom: lol we actually got a lot done last night so I’m free for the day!
You: Oh cool!You got any plans for your day off?
I was actually hoping I could take you out for lunch? Tom surprised himself at his sudden confidence.He thought he’d end up giving you small hints that he wanted to hang out until eventually you were the one to ask.
You: I’d love to!What time were you thinking?
Tom: Can I pick you up for 12:00?
You: 12:00 would be just fine 😌 See you then!
Tom: See you then!
You were over the fucking moon.Tom Holland,one of your biggest celebrity crushes since CA: Civil War, just asked you out on a date.To say you were freaking out was an understatement.The date was literally four hours away,but you jumped up and started looking for an outfit anyway.Once you finally picked up the perfect outfit,with the limited clothes that you brought for your trip,you threw a hoodie over yourself and headed to the lobby,remembering that you were supposed to me Tuwaine for breakfast.
~*~
“So yeah I got a text that was like “Hey,it’s Tom!” and first my dumbass was like “Who the fuck is Tom?” then I read the rest of the text and I it mentioned you and I was like “Ooooh that Tom!” so then I texted him back and was like-“
“I hate to cut you off,” Tuwaine said,finally deciding to interrupt your rant “But it’s too early in the morning for you to be talking at this speed.”
You knew your friend was mostly just joking,but you sheepishly sunk down in your chair and calmed down a bit anyway. “My bad,I’m just really excited.”
“It’s cool,love.So I’m guessing this lead to him asking you out?”
“Yes!I’m saving my appetite because he’s taking me out for lunch!But that’s enough about my potential love life,how’d you sleep?” You asked and slightly leaned over with genuine anticipation.This brought a smile to Tuwaine’s face.
“Glad to see that you remember you came all this way to see me.” He mockingly told you,but you could tell he was genuinely touched.He went on to tell you that it felt like he was sleeping on a huge slab of stone,but he went to sleep anyway because he was too tired.You two had a long chat and before you knew it,it was time for your date.
(A /N: One thing I’m manifesting for myself starting this December 21st is a better sleep schedule.It’s getting late,but I didn’t want to go back on my word so I just cut it short 😅 Part 2 will be up soon though!)
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We’ll find out tonight if our predictions are correct!
Responses to the written questions are under the cut.
Where is Ned and what is he doing?
No idea
Business trip
Dealing with some financial issues.
Doing business in UC or Hamilton. Nothing major
He stayed behind next episode and will be back in the finale.
I think planning something for Florence, maybe expansion for the mercantile?
I don't know
I have no idea, wth!?!?
Yo i have no idea. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say he's trying to contact Florence's daughter who wasnt there for the wedding
Maybe he's visiting his daughter? Or expanding the Mercantile somehow
With Mike. Oil pipeline
Hiding
It sure
I have no clue honestly, maybe planning a surprise for Florence?
Perhaps...expanding his store? Or ordering something new to begin to be shipped to his.
something related to factory
Sussing out suppliers
Maybe something to do with the Wyman guy?
visiting his daughter
Buying a new house or a surprise for Florence
Visiting Abigail
Planning something special for Florence
He is doing something with his daughter
No clue
With his daughter
Planning to expand the mercantile to include deliveries (Hope Valley Amazon) lol
Not sure
I really dont know!
Made out a Will since he now is married to Florence
Business in Union City
Business, but he’ll be back
I don’t Know
I dont know. This one threw me!
Literally have no idea
maybe he will come back with his daughter who will come to live at HP
some sweet surprise/gift for Florence
He is involved im some growth in HV.
Taking care of business.
He's making a business deal somewhere
I have no idea. I think it was a weird to put in o.O
Making purchases for the store.
Business stuff somewhere
I don't know
i don't know
ned things
He just took the long way home...
Adopting Flo's son
Hiding
He is picking up a surprise order gift for Florence, and it’s taking longer than expected.
Fighting attempt to take over mercantile
Talking to a divorce lawyer. Or putting a pillow over Abigail's mom's face so she can bury her already and come back to Hope Valley for his buddy Henry's sake.
Honestly I’m not sure but interested to find out!
Idk honestly. Probably actually doing something sweet for Florence but she doesn't know it.
What's up with the Pinkertons?
Not sure
A storyline to bring a change of pace to the show.
I really Don’t know
Not sure, but I don’t think it will be resolved this season, maybe it’s the cliffhanger?
I don't know
They’re hired thugs like they were in S1, just there to show Walden is a bad guy despite appearances
Factory related
Up to no good! Don’t trust them.
Yo i dont even know. They look totally sketch but they are probably the good guys actually. I'm predicting they are after someone who's been wanted for a long time. I think it may be too easy to link them with the guy who took Jesse and Clara's money
Not sure yet
Working for Waldon
Railroad
Sneakily buying land
I couldn't care less about them
Perhaps something is in the cabin/someone they don't want found.
No idea
Something to do with the mine disaster (even though it's been ages).
we will see in season 9
Setting up a good storyline for season 9
Not sure maybe something to do with the new factory that might be built
Maybe it has to do with Henry
I have no idea, but I do not like them!
No good
Buying all the land
They have Jesse. Someone wants to reopen the mine and seek revenge on Elizabeth for his son going to jail (Spurlock).
Looking for some kind of hidden good
Shady dealings going on
Guarding the future factory site. But something extra at the cabin connected with Spurlock.
Trouble
?
An even bigger I dont know on this one. Like, what in the world???
Holding Jesse captive
I think they kidnapped Jesse because he found out what they were up to but I have no idea what that is
stumped on this one
That is difficult. He is apparently connected to S1 Spurlock. Is he there for revenge? Or, just a heavy hand like his relative?
Revenge? They want to take over Hope Valley.
Something sketchy, probably bigger than just whatever is going on with the cabin though.
Land grab
No clue but they'll be one of the big bads next season
They are probably the goons of the Industry dude
They are working for somebody bigger.
They want to take over the town
I don't know
i'm worried about Nathan
idk they are the bad daddys of the season
they can only be there to cover up a crime, or some valuable find
No clue
They’re wanting to uproot Hope Valley for better business by destroying the town.
Keeping identity of mastermind safe from townspeople.
Maybe looking for Ned, who alternatively is a serial killer and now on the run. Possibly for the murder of Abigail's mother?
I’m so confused lol
Creating a monopoly & doing some villain nonsense (as it would seem the show is hinting).
Any other thoughts going into the finale?
No
There will be at least one surprise- not sure what
There are too many loose ends to tie up in one episode and I just want Elizabeth and Nathan together (and perhaps quickly married in this episode!)
I’m honestly really nervous, I’m rooting for Nathan but I have a feeling she’ll go for Lucas, I really don’t mind Lucas as a character but like what storylines can they do with them as a couple? The manuscript is finished, they’ve gone on every sort of date at this stage and she’s been in his office. What else can they do? With Nathan they can do the being scared because of his job again but making it different, there’s children involved now, it’s not just Elizabeth. Jack won’t understand but Allie will 100% feel worried for him. Also Allie having a mother figure, especially at this stage in her life, how could you not want it! The blended family as the main family would be so nice for this show, I know it’s been done before but they will be fairly front and centre in the show. Sorry for the rant, I love your blog so much! I don’t have tumblr so I can’t leave comments or like your gifs but I thoroughly enjoy all your theories and opinions!!
Just ready for this stupid love triangle to be over!
I’d love to actually see Henry meet up with Abigail, but doubt it. I hope they have Clara do something heroic for Jesse, but also doubt it. Henry will definitely be putting Hickam in charge at least temporarily. I think Ned will return but we won’t get a full explanation yet. And the dramatic ending won’t be the triangle choice, it’ll be Elizabeth losing the school.
Allie’s adoption finalized and reaction to Elizabeth choosing Nathan is something we should see.
Glad the triangle will be DONE!!
I hope that Elizabeth follows her heart and not pick someone who is a safe option.
I wish Faith were leaving instead of Carson. Also, I think there will be lots of set up for problems with the school board and Elizabeth. Also, I want more little Jack scenes but i don't think we'll get much since child acting laws and covid combined make that difficult
Excited for Elizabeth to move on from her past and enter a new adventure with either of the two men and really just everything else (Rosie and Lee, Fiona, Henry.)
I hope Faith doesn’t end up with whoever doesn’t get chosen by Elizabeth.
hopefully the finale will clear up the drawn out love triangle
The triangle was waaaaay drawn out. Be done and choose.
Nathan and Faith......would be great......
No matter who Elizabeth chooses I'm SOOOO READY to get this over with!
Kindness matters - no matter who she chooses. Isn't that why most of us watch the show
I am so over the love triangle and just want to know who Elizabeth picks.
Worried about the fandom more than anything
Elizabeth please pick Nathan
It's just a TV show and no matter what , it's there for our entertainment. I do think they're setting things up for the return of Abigail in some way.
The must be a Season 9!!!
I hope Fiona does not get involved with Mike.
Hopefully things get back to normal for Elizabeth and Rosemary
Interested to see the other storylines. I want Elizabeth to choose Nathan but I think JT will throw us off. From the promo pic, it looks like they will try to put Faith with Nathan.
- I just want Elizabeth to chose so that this storyline can come to an end and we can finally get to see her marriage and functioning has a wife. - Wonder what will become of Lucas once her choice is made. - I would like Lucas to have a proper storyline that doesn't involve Elizabeth or the love triangle. - I would love to see Rosemary and Lee finally become parents however that may happen. I feel like the writer just left them in limbo about it and keep teasing but never delivering on anything.
Hopefully will end with Nathan but the very last minute. I would prefer more romance before the finale
Elizabeth will have to decide on what’s important with school.
Jack might make an appearance in a dream scene?
So excited! I hope I don't wake up my kids while watching.
I hope they don’t pick Lucas
CLARA DISCOVERS SHE IS PREGNANT
?
Just excited for this to be over. I know we needed it and I think overall it was handled decent enough, but I'm glad to finally move on.
Why is everyone so scared?
The whole season has been about getting over your fear. Elizabeth doesn’t have to deal with her emotions or real life with Lucas because school is out for the summer and she is working on her book. She needs to make up with Rosemary and get over the loss of Jack and fear to be with Nathan.
this season has been totally not what I expected...I thought the hug at end of season 7 was definitive and we'd get at least some Nathan courtship, not a complete U-turn to Lucas (with hopefully a turn to Nathan at the very end). I now think Season 9 will be what I expected season 8 to be, and I am very much looking forward to that.
Something sudden will allow Elizabeth to bring her feelings to light for everyone...Nathan. I think she will have decided by the time she takes of the rings, but will not have the opportunity to share with the man until later. Until she faces the prospect of him being in danger again? Full circle from the end of S7.
I need Elizabeth to really apologize to Rosemary. Rosemary has always been there for Elizabeth.
I’m so afraid :(
Hated the triangle
I am so ready to finally move on from this triangle!
They put waaaay too many storyline in the last 2 episodes, they will never manage to conclude them all and we'll have another weird random cliffhanger which will not tie in with the Christmas episode (If we're getting one ?)
I hope the guy who loses, has a good life in later seasons
The annoying love triangle will finally end. Elizabeth/Nathan are endgame, unless Jack suddenly comes back from the dead. But, I doubt it. I hope Lee/Rosemary are pregnant, or decide to adopt children. I just want Lee/Rosemary to have children. Can't wait to see how this season ends. Hopefully, it won't be a cliffhanger.
Nervous as hell
Elizabeth and Nathan get married
i kinda hope someone dies tbh it would make everything more interesting
Elizabeth was so tiresome this season, they could have told her story of overcoming grief in a much more relatable way. Why did they not just have her talking to Rosemary about how sad or exhausted or numb or angry she feels all the time? You know, something a widow would actually go through. At the very least she could have been stoic, instead she was just kinda bitchy.
Faith and Nathan will have some sparks; Elizabeth will choose Lucas and they will kiss twice one being at bridge one being at her home inside with baby jack present.Carson will leave; Jessie will be found; Ned will come back safely.
Lucas endgame, Nathan and faith have sparks, Rosemary paper, Jessie and Clara make up.
I think Henry will take his own advice and leave to find Abigail to see if there is still any hope for them. Though I like his character, I want him to finally be happy, and if that means staying with Abigail, then that’s what it means. I don’t think TPTB will bring back Lori soooo.... that means Henry would be the one possibly leaving. I also think some scare will happen with Nathan between him and the Pinkertons. Then it may come full circle at the end where Elizabeth runs to him like she did last season, but instead of hugging him, she’ll kiss him instead.
Hallmark execs dictated ending and will cut salaries to bring back Abigail, hence Paul leaving.
My condolences to whichever guy gets to look forward to being bored by Elizabeth for the rest of his life. Are we sure Jack's death wasn't a suicide?
Ready to see how it ends and already looking forward to next season!
I will be really disappointed if she chooses Lucas but I’m afraid that’s where it’s headed. Either way I don’t understand how they’ll end in “the healthy place” they’ve said it will be with so much left for one episode.
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I’m gonna hold onto your heart for sure
Written for day 3 of Carlos Reyes Week: “well, that just happened” + friendship
Summary:
“It’s not out of obligation or anything like that,” he says immediately, “we are friends, no matter what. Besides, you’re basically part of the team, like an honorary member of the 126.”
on ao3
or
Carlos is surprised to find Paul, leaning against his blue Camaro outside the police station when he finally gets off from shift.
The sun is already setting, painting the whole yard of the police station in golden light.
Paul’s face lights up when he spots him near the doors, and he gives him a small wave. He has changed out of his uniform, but he is still wearing dark pants and AFD t-shirt.
He tries to go through in his mind if he has forgotten any plans they might have made when he walks up to the car and him. He cannot come up with anything, but he is still glad to see him.
“Hey, everything okay?” He asks, mostly out of habit. He looks fine and he guesses he wouldn’t be grinning that widely if something atrocious had happened.
“Yeah,” he agrees and claps his hand on his shoulder. “Just checking up if you’re moping like a lovesick puppy,” he jokes.
Carlos flashes a smile, but he shakes his head as he glances their shoes. “I’m not.”
TK had to leave up to New York to attend his cousin’s wedding. He had been invited too as a plus one, but he couldn’t get four days off from work, and TK had assured that he was completely fine going there alone too, but he misses him.
It has been three days, which is ridiculous considering how much he wants to see him and longs to have him back in Austin. He cannot remember when he would have missed someone this much, and it almost terrifies him a little.
Obviously, they have been texting and calling, but it still isn’t the same thing.
“TK seemed pretty miserable when I called him,” he shrugs, with innocent smile, “just saying.”
He just huffs at that, amusedly, as he tries to fish out his car keys from the pocket of his jeans.
“Also, it’s family dinner today, so I’m picking you up. Well, I don’t have a car ‘cause Marjan just dropped me here on the way to supermarket, but still, the point stands.”
The 126 has created a tradition of having a proper, full-scale dinner once a week. The time and day changes, adapting to their shifts, but they never fail to have one. Owen has dubbed it as a family dinner for team bonding reasons. He has attended it a couple times with TK, but he feels like it’s a quite accurate term.
The crew definitely is a family, and they care each other a lot and deeply, and there is so much love and affection in the air when they don’t have to worry about getting called to scenes, and they always have each other’s backs.
He is almost a little jealous of the bond they all share.
He lets out a small laughter and fidgets with his car keys. “That’s nice but you don’t have to--,” he starts, but Paul is gesturing him to stop talking.
“It’s not out of obligation or anything like that,” he says immediately, “we are friends, no matter what. Besides, you’re basically part of the team, like an honorary member of the 126.”
He would be lying if he said that hearing that wouldn’t make him feel fondness towards the entire team and it makes him feel cared for and a little special. He knows he generally gets along with people well and he has no issues making friends, but he has been missing Michelle and he appreciates it more than he can say that he has become friends with everyone in the team and they aren’t just tolerating him for the sake of TK.
“Okay,” he agrees.
Spending the evening with friends and eating a proper dinner definitely beats his plans of cleaning his apartment and ordering takeout.
“Yeah,” Paul laughs and before Carlos knows he has been pulled into a tight hug. It’s surprisingly comforting hug despite the fact that it’s short and brief.
“Well, that just happened,” he says, and there is a certain edge of uncertainness that wasn’t there before, with apologetic expression when he lets go off him. “Sorry, got carried away.”
“Hey, we’re friends, friends get hugged,” he tells him, immediately, resting his hand on his shoulder.
He isn’t maybe the most tactile person in the world, but sometimes it is easier to say something through touch than words and he firmly believes in hugging.
“Yeah,” Paul agrees, softly and his grin is back and already brighter. He nods towards his car. “Let’s go. Cap won’t like if we are late.”
***
Carlos isn’t sure if his stomach hurts because all of the food he has eaten or because of all the laughter. The food was delicious and there was way too much of it, and they had been talking about everything that came to mind. They had been sharing anecdotes of work and what their lives had been like before they arrived in Texas and the firehouse.
The 126 is back on shift in a couple of hours, and the whole team, except Owen, has sprawled on the couches, trying to survive their food comas. Judd and Mateo are talking about basketball, deep in their conversation and Marjan is showing Paul some video on his phone, and they all seem content in the moment, and the whole room is filled with laughter and chatter.
Carlos smiles as he looks at them, but his phone starts to vibrate in his pocket. He quietly slips away and walks towards the doors to get some more privacy. It’s basically all for nothing because the firehouse been built so that privacy is almost non-existent. Especially with this particular team.
“Hey,” he says, when the video call connects and he sees TK’s tired, but beaming face on his phone screen.
“Hey,” he says back, but tilts his head and squints his eyes at him. “Is that a fire truck?”
He turns his phone a little, so that he gets a glimpse of the bright red side of the truck. “Yeah.”
His grin gets wider. “Missing me that much?“
“Yeah,” he breathes out, with genuine laughter, “also Paul dragged me to the dinner.”
“Oh yeah, the family dinner. I should’ve remembered,” he says, as he runs his hand through his hair, making it stick up slightly. “That’s nice.”
“It is,” he says, sincerely. “I wish you were here with us.”
It’s nice that he is, in their eyes too, his own person outside of their relationship. He knows they are close, and they still keep complaining when they will grow out of their honeymoon stage, but he still knows how to be his own person and he doesn’t feel less whole without him. He feels that together they are something more, but not lacking otherwise either.
“Me too,” he admits under his breath, “we do have pretty great friends.”
It feels like an understatement but it’s still true. “Yeah,” he says, nodding. The corner of his mouth twitches into a gradual smile. “Your dad promised to teach me how to bake a sugar free key lime pie.”
It makes him laugh, and it’s such a beautiful sound and he would gladly spend rest of his life listening to it. His eyes are glistering with what looks like happiness. “He doesn’t teach just anyone,” he points out. “Kitchen is like a sacred place for him. He certainly hasn’t taught baking to anyone I have dated.”
“Yeah,” he says, rubbing his neck.
He likes Owen, and he feels like they would get along even if he wasn’t dating his son, but it is sort of a big deal for him that he seems to like him, too. He knows he doesn’t need anyone else’s approval, but he still loves the fact that all of them just took him in as one of their own.
“Also,” he starts, and points at the screen with grimace on his face, “his sugar-free key lime pie is terrible. It tastes like flour, so good luck.”
“Ah, I’ll just make the others eat most of it. Practice the fine art of guilt tripping,” he deadpans, but it is getting impossible to hold back the smile.
“Good strategy.”
“Your dad misses you, too,” he points out softly, “he had a baby pic of you on the dinner table.”
He had placed the framed picture on the spot that he usually sits on. It had been mostly a joke, a way to boost the team morale, but he had noticed how many times Owen had glanced at the picture during the dinner. The picture had been of TK, barely standing on his own, grabbing leg of a table and he was wearing orange overalls and grinning as widely as a one year old can.
TK groans, and he cannot help but chuckle. “It’s on the wall now. According to them, they have put it high enough so you cannot take it down when you get back.”
“I hate them all,” he mutters, but there is no heat behind his voice.
“You were a cute baby,” he adds, just because he can.
“I wasn’t,” he insists, “especially if it was the orange overalls picture.”
“It was, but I guess I have to ask him to show me the entire photo albums,” he says, mostly just teasing him and mostly because he genuinely wants to see the photos.
“Please don’t,” he says, but the amusement shines through his voice. “He would love it.”
It would probably take hours, but he might do it one day when he has time.
“How’s the wedding?”
“Good, it has been nice seeing everyone,” he tells him, sounding genuinely happy. Carlos knows he hasn’t seen his mother’s side family in years. “It would be more fun if you were there. They all keep asking about you.”
“I’m sorry for not making it,” he says, gently.
He would have loved to go with him, but the wedding had seemed a little like a last-minute thing for him, and the invitation had come in mail just a couple weeks before and there was no way he could have managed to change all of his shifts.
“Hey, I didn’t mean it as a jab,” he remarks, softly.
“I know.”
“It’s mostly just funny. I head a bunch of my aunts talking and doubting if you’re even real because you sound a little too perfect, and that if you’re real, how did you end up with me,” he explains with a huff, but his voice sounds amused and there is certain mischief in his eyes.
“You could tell them that I’ve a very specific type,” he jokes, because he can feel the warmth creeping up on his neck.
He knows how to accept a compliment, but perfect definitely isn’t a word he would associate with himself, let alone expect a bunch of people he has never met to describe him as such.
“What would that be?”
Before he has any chance to answer, he spots Judd walking towards him and he claps both of his hands on his shoulders and flashes a smile at the phone screen. “Rude green-eyed firefighters who don’t let their family know they are calling,” Judd quips into their conversation.
TK is laughing again, but he is definitely delighted to see him, too. “I feel like you can find twelve of those in a dozen.”
“More like once in a lifetime,” Carlos murmurs, as rest of the team swarms in and forms a sort of half-circle around them. He knows TK hears him, because he holds his gaze, and his face softens. His smile is tiny but genuine and he feels like it’s only reserved for him.
“Ugh, you’re too sappy,” Marjan complains, but she ends up sounding mostly fond.
Carlos tries to hold up his phone high enough that he manages to see everyone. They keep waving at him, and he looks genuinely touched. “I’m glad you’re there.”
“We are glad to have him,” Mateo pipes in.
“We miss you,” Paul adds, “but we think we like Carlos better,” he says, deadpan.
“Cannot blame you for having good taste,” he shoots back, with a wink, and suddenly the warm feeling in his neck creeps back up.
“At least he knows how to cook, unlike certain someone,” Marjan says, with a glare that doesn’t linger on her face.
“Hey, the casserole I made last week was edible,” TK argues.
“Yeah, kid. Edible, not good,” Judd says with deep sounding laughter.
“It made my stomach feel funny,” Mateo admits, sounding a little distraught.
“Even Buttercup didn’t eat it,” Paul reminds him.
“Y’all are so ungrateful,” he says, with mock exasperated sigh as he stares beyond his phone, but amusement doesn’t disappear from his eyes.
Carlos knows that TK’s culinary skills are common joke for them, and he can admit he shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near kitchen and unfortunately, he had gotten the leftovers of the casserole too. It had been dry and tasteless, but he still he had eaten it.
“I wouldn’t have eaten it if it wasn’t made by you,” he admits, too.
“Ah, blinded by love,” Judd says, shaking his head.
“You’ll end up with food poisoning,” Marjan tells him, as she pokes him in the arm.
Before he has any chance to reply, TK looks like he is listening to someone speak in the other end of the call. He flashes them a smile. “Sorry, I gotta go. Carlos, I love you. The rest of you are okay, I guess,” he jokes in a light tone, and his smile is so wide and genuine that it definitely reaches his eyes.
His crew fake exasperation around him, but they all end up erupting in laughter and keep telling TK how much they miss him before they manage to actually end the call.
#carlosreyesweek2021#tarlos#tarlos fic#day 3#this was really fun to write#i have soft spot for team and carlos#carlos reyes
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What are your thoughts on the Weta statues? Can you take some more pics of them please?
OOF I’m sorry I said I would take pics yesterday but life got in the way. I would do them today, but it’s raining pretty hard right now. I don’t have good lighting or photography equipment on hand so I rely on sunlight to take pictures. I’ll be sure to take more pictures when I get the chance. Also not gonna lie I’ve been very busy staring and admiring these statues dfghjk. They’re distracting and they give me a big dose of serotonin.
Overall the statues are fantastic and high quality. The molding, the paint job, the textures, THE DETAILS: it’s all great. It’s very much worth the hefty price they set for it. I know plenty of people have complained about this, but when you see them in real life and are able to really look at all the little details they put in you’ll understand why they’re expensive. I should also mention the product design for their boxes are nice too. Like they have little designs on them that are reflective with nice photos of the statues themselves and stills from the show on it.
Also, while I was nerve-wrecked about the statues breaking or snapping while being shipped (as I heard of horror stories of people experiencing this), I was relieved to find that none of mine were harmed. I ordered the statues from the Weta website and it was shipped from their warehouses so that might be why. People who had issues with their statues breaking apparently ordered from different store companies (like BigBadToystore). If you want to order from these statues, I suggest doing so from the Weta Website.
I have the Hup and Brea statues as well and I bought them while they were on sale last month. They could have another sale so keep an eye out. Both are very nice. Assembly is very simple with the character and their stands. They’re nicely sized you can display them on bookshelves and such without them taking too much space.
Now the BIG BOYS. Like I knew they were going to be big and I saw the dimensions and everything but I still underestimated how BIG they were going to be, especially when paired with the smaller statues. Like Brea is 4.92" x 7.67" x 5.7" (W x H x D) meanwhile skekMal is 11.81" x 15.74" x 12.59" and urVa’s 16.92" x 21.45" x 12.59". Not to mention the boxes they came in are big too. The front of their boxes open and they show you behind the scenes photos of them making the statues while having the character descriptions they have displayed on their website. Cool stuff! Because they’re so huge they do require more assembly. I was particularly surprised to open up skekMal’s box and found him headless and I thought his head was missing until I found the piece. Also his toenail was so sharp it pierced through the plastic and I guess the person who packaged him up put a piece of styrofoam on it to protect it from chipping. His was easy to put together: his sheaths and one of his trophies were magnetic so they fit in perfectly. Getting him onto his stand was a little tough for me because he was heavier, but didn’t have any trouble. UrVa was a little tougher to put together but it was mostly because he was heavy (he’s like 16 lbs). His arrows were the most annoying to put together because they were flimsy. For one of them there’s a small groove on his bow to place the arrow on, but I had to fiddle with it to position it correctly. Same with the other one. If the statue gets shaken, it’s very easy for the arrows to fall out of place.
But let me talk about their details because HOLY SHIT IT’S SO FUN TO LOOK AT. Like they went all out on these statues to the point their clothing has DIFFERENT TEXTURES. UrVa’s is great for that with all the individual stitches and accessories on his outfit. I’m particularly obsessed with skekMal’s because they painted his back in a way that made the cloth look transparent (which the actual fabric is like in the show so kudos to that attention to detail). I also just weirdly like the paint job is for his claws and toenails? I don’t know why, but it looks realistic and gross and I love it. His trophies too are also really nice. I do have some complaints about skekMal’s statue and they’re very minor. I’m a little disappointed they didn’t color the eyeballs on his pants. Like the molding is there, but it’s the same color as his pants and I dunno I wanted to see how they’d paint his other gross trophies. Also the brown and beige clothing he wears around his neck and on his person is gold, brown and purple? I’m not sure if this was from a prototype of his puppet, but it’s brown and beige in the show so I’m not sure why they did that. But that’s really it like that doesn’t damper how much of an amazing statue it is and they’re nitpicks at best. It was well worth the money.
I know a lot of people were complaining about the statues being limited and “overpriced”, but like they’re super high-quality and big. You could pay them up front or under a payment plan. What’s cool about the payment plan is that they don’t charge you interest so I was happy about that. However, the lowest plan was $124 a month (at least for skekMal, I forget how much urVa’s plan was) so it may not be reasonable for some people. As of right now, skekMal is still available but he’s low in stock. UrVa’s no longer available, but Weta will relaunch him to get the rest of the stock out from people who canceled their pre-orders. So if you want him, you may still be able to get him without dealing with scalpers.
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In Your Arms
Florian Munteanu x Black Reader
Warnings: Mentions of naked bodies (m/f), slight mentions of depression/depressive traits. EXTREME AMOUNTS OF FLUFF AND FEELS 😭. *None of the pics are mine. Credit to their original owners*
Prompt: Florian comes home from a stressful day of filming and seeks comfort in readers arms.
Inspiration: “All these soft, warm nights going to waste when I ought to be lying in your arms under the moon - the dearest arms in all the world - darling arms that I love to feel around me - How much longer - before they’ll be there to stay? When I do get home again, you’ll certainly have a most awful time ever moving me one inch from you”-love letter from Zelda Fitzgerald to husband F. Scott Fitzgerald
You’re clearing the kitchen when you hear the front door to your boyfriends flat slam shut. Florian had texted you about an hour ago and told you that he was on his way home from a day of filming his latest project.
You hear Florian step out of his shoes and place them near the front door, his gait unmistakable as he walks further into the flat. You wipe your hands on a dish towel as you see Flo walk past you, his face contorted in some strange emotion, not so much as a hello is muttered to you as he walks by.
“Flo, Florian, Iubitul meu” you say trying to get his attention, clearly seeing that he has something on his mind. He quickly turns his head to look at you when you speak in Romanian, his gym bag slung over his back as he turns his whole body to you. His expression is softened, only slightly as he looks at you. His usually vibrant eyes are distant and tired, somewhat cold as they appear to look right through you. You’d never seen that look on him before and are instantly worried.
“You okay babe?” You ask, throwing the dish towel on the counter top and walk over to him. When you near him, you reach up and cup one of his cheeks with your hand and he leans into your touch, eyes closed as he feels your soft skin on him. His large frame becomes smaller, almost timid and meek as you hold on to him. Your black skin a contrasting against his paler complexion as you hold his face in your hand.
“Rough day, I’m sorry Y/N. I’m gonna go shower and head to bed, I’m not really in the mood to talk.” He replies. You couldn’t tell earlier from standing farther away but his eyes are a little red and puffy when he opens them like he’d been crying, and you guess as much when you feel a wetness on his face as you run your thumb across it. You ask if he wants you to make him some food but he replies that he already ate as he walks towards the laundry room to drop off his clothes.
You catch a glimpse of him as he walks into the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. You hear the water running for a few minutes without the shower being started and a strange sloshing sound. Thinking that Flo forgot about the water, you walk over to the bathroom door and knocks softly. You don’t hear a response but push the door open slightly, not wanting the hot water to run out before he gets in. You’re surprised to find Flo in the tub, his arms pulling his knees close to his body as the water continuously filling up as his head turns to look at you. You notice some residual makeup on his body and the faint scent of his sweat.
A chill runs down your spine as you notice the same look in his eyes, a type of sadness or sorrow that breaks your heart. You walk up to the tub, lean down and turn the water off, turning back to sit next to the tub on your knees to be at eye level with your boyfriend. Flo turns his head and watches your movements with indifference, his head returning to its original state as he stares at the wall.
“Florian, what’s wrong? Whatever it is, you can talk to me, you know that” you say, your heartbeat feeling like it’s about to burst out your chest as you reach your hand out to scratch the back of his head. Seconds feel like hours as the silence becomes deafening. “Do you want me to leave? If you need your space, I’ll give it to you, whatever you need” you whisper, not sure how to proceed. Taking his silence as an answer, you begin to get up. Water slouches as his arm shoots out and reaches for you.
“No dragâ, don’t go, please. Can you..can you stay with me a while” he pleads, his accent thick and moisture forming in his eyes. You nod, standing up to strip off your own clothes, kicking them aside. You grab a bottle of Lavender essential oils and drop a few in the tub. Instructing Flo to scoot up, you slide in behind him, placing your legs on either side of his hips. You wrap your arms as much as you can around him as you press your front to his back, him letting out a heartfelt long held sigh. You run your nose up his back, taking in his scent, kissing up his spine as you feel the tension in his back.
You hold Florian, gently rocking him as one of his large hands comes up to rest on yours. Suddenly the damn breaks and Florian begins to sob, his entire body shaking. You press your cheek to his back as you continue to rock him, his sobs growing in volume as you realize this is what he needs at this moment. You reassure him that you have him that everything will be alright and to let it out, anything to help soothe him in this moment. He pushes himself back so he’s laying more on you. Cupping water in your hands, you run the water down his back and chest as the lavender oil begins to work.
“Y/N” Flo says in a hushed tone, almost like he’s afraid you’re just part of his imagination, using his wrist to wipe at the tears on his face. Your strong, intimidating, giant teddy bear of a man was breaking down and along with it your heart. He had seen you cry, both in joy and sadness, never judging or criticizing you. He was always the shoulder you could lean on and now you would be that for him.
“I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere” you assure him. “I just want you to know, if you want to talk, we can talk, if you don’t, we don’t have to. Whenever and wherever you’re comfortable, I want you to know that I’ll be here to listen to you be it now, in a few hours or whenever” With that, you grab and pour a healthy amount of his body wash into your hands and lather it into his skin, washing him thoroughly from his day and then did the same to yourself.
“We had a scene today that really hit home with me. I used some of the negative moments from my past to help get into the mindset and I feel like it’s finally catching up. It happened when I was getting into the mindset for Drago, but this time I had to delve deeper and now...” he trailed the last part as you’re washing his broadened back. You give an encouraging squeeze of his shoulders for him to continue at his own pace “I just want to make sure that everybody knows that my take as Viktor Drago isn’t the only thing I have to offer with acting, that I’m not just some big intimidating guy who boxes and got lucky. I want to make everybody proud of me, Mama and Tata, my brothers, you” he adds, turning his head to look at you.
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding Mama’s calls?” You question, remembering how he mentioned he couldn’t speak to his mother when he was filming Creed 2 because she would know something was amiss with her son.
“Yeah, the last thing I need for her or Tata to do is worry about me. You too. I know that you’re here with me, but lately I feel like I’ve been distant and cold and I don’t mean it at all dragâ. Being here with you and doing this for me, it means more than you could ever know.”
“You don’t have to thank me Iubitul meu” you say, Flo smiling at the use of his native tongue. “I know that you would do it for me in a heartbeat. I know that you’re more than some ‘large intimidating man who boxes’” you quote. “I know that you’re a man determined, someone who loves his parents dearly, who would and could move heaven and earth for those closest to him. I know the serious man, the teddy bear, the giggly drunk, Big Nasty (whom I’m quite fond of), how you try to always constantly give every part of yourself to anything you do. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you and everyday I fall more in love with you than I do now.”
You hug him tighter, both staying in the tub until the water loses its heat and your fingertips are prune-like. Eventually Flo pulls out the stopper and the water begins to drain. You get out first and wrap a fluffy red towel around your body and then wrap one around Flo’s waist as he gets out. Standing there you notice that he’s off in his head again, gently raising your hand you cup his cheek to bring him back to you. He brings you closer and kisses the top of your head, your ear pressed to his chest as you listen to his steady heartbeat.
The both of you do your nightly routines and instructing him to go to your bedroom, you make each of you a cup of chamomile tea. Upon entering you give Flo his cup and sit with him on the edge of the bed. You grab your Shea and Cocoa Butter lotion and lather it on your skin, doing the same thing to Flo as he continues to drink his tea. When you’re finished, you set the empty mugs on the counter and discard your towel on the floor, too bothered to return it to the bathroom or to put any clothes on.
You pull the covers of the bed back and climb in, tapping your chest to indicate for Flo to lay his head on your chest. He gives you a weary look, his large body a contrast to your smaller one. You give him a reassuring nod before he takes off his towel and he climbs into bed, nuzzling his nose between your breasts and inhaling your scent before laying his head over your heart and envelops you in his arms. Both of your naked bodies are intertwined together, your bodies fitting together like pieces of a puzzle. You grab the blanket and pull it over your bodies, kissing his head as sleep finally claims the both of you.
#florian munteanu#florian munteanu x reader#florian big nasty munteanu#big nasty#In Your Arms#one shot#fluff#boxer#German Romanian#Creed 2#viktor drago#writing#personal#inspiration#quotes#florian munteanu x black reader#i put this off for 2 months#it kept making me sad to write it#really proud i finally got it out
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Wicked Game (Part 2)
Word Count: 20K+ total Team Long Winded Bitch strikes again, this will be posted in multiple parts over the next couple of days. The first part is about 5K, part 2 is 7K
Rating: 18+ Slash fic Strong language, alcohol and drug use, and a misogynistic and racist comment. Sexual scenes including masturbation, toys, voyeurism, oral, and anal sex.
Summary: Ashton is ready to move on with his life after his painful divorce from Luke and the demise of the restaurant they’d built together. With the help of his protegee and sous chef Hima Singh, Ashton is ready to take on opening weekend of his new restaurant Anne-Marie’s. Calum is a reporter filling in on an assignment and is surprised when his past comes back to haunt him. Hima arranges an interview that takes an unexpected turn between the two men.
Ashton grabbed his bag and shut off the lights in the bar. Hima was waiting impatiently by the door, keys in hand. Following the disaster of an afternoon, they'd been packed until closing. He'd been too busy cooking to think about it, something he loved about his job. The rush and the heat combined with the complete focus on his work. You had to keep your eyes on your fingers or you got hurt. The satisfaction of plating an order and sending it out until the next order came in, starting the process over again.
"Will you come on?" Hima tapped her foot, making her keys jangle. "My brother is waiting for us." Her twin brother had passed the bar exam a month ago, but everything had been so crazy with the opening they hadn't properly celebrated yet.
The bouncer recognized Hima and let them in immediately. Tirana was a sleek, neon-lit bar favoring overpriced cocktails, elaborately garnished and meant to be as much of a showpiece as a beverage. Ashton eyed the crowd full of men sporting off the rack Italian suits with egos as inflated as their dates' chests. Kabir was waiting in VIP with his friends and waved them up. Ashton congratulated him and ordered a spiked seltzer, passing on the bottle service Kabir offered. Hima was taking shots with the guys and he joined them in a toast. As he was taking a drink he spotted Calum Hood leaning against the wall, looking bored and maybe a little drunk. Hima must've seen his expression because she whipped around just as Calum looked up and noticed them. Ashton tried to look away and act as if he hadn't noticed the other man. Hima had other ideas and made a beeline for the reporter.
"Hey Calum, fancy meeting you here," she said relieved when he seemed happy to see her. "Come have a drink with us, or am I interrupting something?"
"If you're buying," Calum replied. "A friend brought me here and then fucked off on a phone call." He laughed, but it died out when he saw Ashton.
"Listen," Hima cut him off before he could speak. "I know this afternoon didn't go well, but what you don't know is just before you came in, my boss had to sit through an interview with Kevin Mackie. It did not go well "
"Oh God, that insufferable bastard," Calum snorted.
"Exactly, and you know Mackie brought up all that old shit from Lune Rouge," Hima told him "That's in addition to insulting every woman who works there, of course."
Calum cringed, and his eyes flickered back towards Ashton talking to Kabir and his lawyer friends. He couldn't help but notice the contrast between the intense scowling man he'd encountered this afternoon and the smiling bubbly ray of sunshine he was looking at now. Was that an actual giggle? Calum blamed the tequila for agreeing to join Hima for a quick drink since his date still hadn't come back. He'd allowed his editor, Shamara, to set him up twice now, but there wouldn't be a third time.
Ashton wiped his sweaty palms on his black jeans as he watched Calum following Hima over towards them. He'd found the reporter attractive this afternoon, but he'd been wearing a long sleeve button up for the interview. Tonight Calum was in all black, and the tank top he wore under the leather jacket showed the ink etched into his skin above his collarbones. Ashton gripped the drink in his hands a bit tighter, trying to keep his nerves steady. He slowly edged his way over to where they were talking just as Calum launched into a story about his magazine sending him on a tour of small mom and pop restaurants up the California coast.
"The owner's husband was sick that day, so she was doing most of the work herself," Calum was saying as Ashton listened in on the conversation. "Beulah was amazing, but they were getting slammed. I asked if she needed any help, and I spent the next three hours manning a fryer. I cooked the chicken, and she'd toss it in the hot oil and spices before slapping it on a bun with the sauce. You'd get the sandwich, pickle, and fries in a little brown sack. We sold hundreds of them, but I knew why when it slowed down enough that I finally got to eat. It's the best chicken sandwich you'll ever have! Tossing it in that spicy oil gives it a flavor that punches you in the mouth. She taught me most of her secrets over the two days I ended up staying until her husband got over the flu.."
I could listen to this man talk all day, Ashton thought watching Calum's expressions and hands as he told the story. The way his chest rumbled when he laughed, which was often throughout the tale. He seemed like a genuinely warm person, and Hima seemed to like him. Maybe I was wrong, five years is a long time
"That's so sweet," Hima smiled up at Calum as he finished.. She was smitten despite hearing rumors he played for the other team.
"Ended up extending my trip for an extra five days which caused all sorts of headaches when I got back. My boss was pissed I'd gone over my expense account," Calum said, shaking his head at the memory, his cheeks flushed from the alcohol now loosening his tongue. He was relieved his date was still MIA. Ashton was standing close enough for Calum to smell his cologne, and it was proving distracting.
"Is that the same magazine you work for now?" Hima asked.
"Yeah, but I was damn near fired. I paid back the money by throwing cash onto my boss's desk when I turned in my story, and he was not amused. The editor-in-chief, who also owns the publisher, loved my story, and after that, I was sent on more in-depth character profiles. I wanna get to know the people behind the food." Calum looked directly at Ashton, meeting his eyes as he spoke. His breath caught in his throat at the intensity in Ashton's hazel eyes as he listened. How is he this handsome? Calum thought. This man has no right to be this good looking. That chest hair peeking out from under that pink shirt is teasing me. Wonder what's underneath? Wait, no I don’t. Stop thinking about that or you're gonna get hard.
"So what exactly were you sent to find?" Ashton asked, his tone still guarded but more friendly than before.
Calum took a deep breath and thought quickly. After the interview bombed this afternoon, he came up with a backup plan if Ashton didn't come through. He made a decision to float both his ideas.
"Look, I know a lot of people are bugging you for gossip about your personal life, but that's not what I'm here for. You opened your first restaurant at 25, and the food at Lune Rouge was fantastic. I know I didn't give you a good review then, but I was trying to be edgy and cool," Calum admitted.
Ashton exhaled and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry about this afternoon. Mackie brought up Luke, and when you mentioned Finn I snapped. I'd like to try again, but I know Hima is more interesting. So what did you have in mind?" Ashton smiled and Calum had butterflies in his stomach.
"I'd like to watch you cook, and see how you are in the kitchen. Tell me how your philosophy on cooking has evolved and what stayed the same," Calum replied. I hope that didn't sound as cringe to him as it did to me. Turning to Hima, he continued talking, "I'd like to do an extra little feature on you if that's ok. It'll give the article a nice balance I think, what do you say?"
Ashton saw Hima's face light up and knew he'd have to say yes. He had to admit, the pitch sounded great, even if the idea of Calum watching him work made him nervous. They turned towards him to see what he thought, and Ashton's gaze landed on Calum's mouth just as he licked his lips. Please don't do that, he thought to himself. Don't make me think about how you taste, and how those lips would feel against mine.
"I definitely think Hima deserves her own feature. I'll go along with whatever you want," Ashton told them.
"You know Calum," Hima turned on the charm. "I'm off tomorrow. I could take you to the best Indian restaurant you've never heard of for lunch." Her eyes got huge and she grabbed Calum's arm. "I'm a genius you guys, listen, the restaurant is hella busy, and the boss man," she nodded towards Ashton, "won't be much fun to interview if there are customers waiting. He just redid the kitchen in his condo, so why don't you do the interview there? That way he's not around us idiots at the restaurant."
Both men stared at her, and Hima panicked thinking she'd overstepped somehow until Ashton nodded. "Sounds like it could work, what do you think?" He asked looking at Calum who nodded, his smile getting broader.
“Sure, um, that sounds great. Really just um, great," he fished his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it before handing it over. "Go ahead and put your number in, and I'll text you tomorrow."
"Is that your little sister?" Hima asked, spotting the picture on his lock screen.
"That's my daughter, Vanessa Joy. Absolute light of my life," Calum beamed, pulling up another pic.
"Daughter?" Hima and Ashton exchanged shocked looks before quickly regaining their composure.
"We were kids. I hadn't figured things out yet," Calum gave his standard explanation.
He started to say more, but he spotted his now-forgotten date headed back towards them. Hima saw his grimace and followed his gaze to the approaching man. She guessed he must be a lawyer who wanted everyone to know it, wearing a double-breasted British tailored suit and gold Submariner watch.
"Sorry about that Cal, that was a client who's a real pain in the ass," the newcomer joined their little group, peering at Ashton with suspicion. "I'm Nick Callahan, a junior partner at Fish, Filbeck, and Greene " Hima almost laughed out loud at this skinny little dude in a fancy suit trying to puff out his chest and put some bass in his voice as he went to shake her boss's hand. Ashton looked amused but Calum not so much.
"Calum, if you don't mind, there's someone I'd like you to meet," Nick waved at a group who'd just come in. He tried to pull Calum away, but he shook Nick's hand off his arm.
"Give me a second, and I'll be over," Calum said, nodding at someone he recognized in the group. "Tell Teddy to order a round of drinks, I'm buying." When Nick still didn't budge, Calum turned his body towards his date and leaned in to whisper in his ear. "I'm interviewing this young lady tomorrow, and I want to get it set up before I get drunk, ok?"
Nick swallowed at the warning in Calum's voice and scurried off to meet his friends.
"Sorry about that," Calum turned back, smiling again. He had them each put their number in and saved the info with a smile. "I'm so glad I ran into y'all. Hima, I will text you in the morning, and Ashton just let me know when and where." He gave her a quick hug and a peck on the cheek which made her blush furiously. He shook Ashton's hand and everything seemed to pause as they locked eyes, exchanging smiles. The handshake lingered a beat too long before they both pulled back completely flustered.
"See you guys then," Calum made a hasty retreat towards Nick and his friends.
"What did you do?" Ashton hissed, feeling dizzy, excited, terrified, and nauseous all at once.
"We'll just have to see, won't we? You two are obviously into each other," Hima tossed her hair over her shoulder, giving Ashton a pointed look.
"I'm not trying to start anything, you know that. Since the divorce it's been too hard and-" Ashton stopped when she put her finger to his lips.
"It's an interview. With a very attractive reporter. You'll be in your element, you can hide behind your food and your knives, but you can get through this. I want my feature." She glared at him and stood on her tiptoes trying to go eye to eye with him.
He had to laugh. Hima was impossible to stay cross with. As he glanced back over towards Calum, he couldn't deny he was intrigued. Don't get your hopes up, Irwin.
Kabir came over to drag them back to his friends. Ashton spent the next hour dancing with Kabir's girlfriend and watching his friends try to hit on Hima without getting caught. Hima's family was overprotective, and her mother was constantly pressuring Kabir to find his sister a good match. As a result, she kept her private life closely guarded, even Ashton didn't know much, although he suspected she had a thing going with one of the servers at Anne-Marie's.
As the song ended, he realized he had to pee. Ashton excused himself and followed the neon arrows to a dimly lit hallway decorated with glow in the dark graffiti. He made his way past the line for the women's room and around two people noisily making out next to the emergency exit. He reached the men's room door just as it swung open towards him. He stumbled back to avoid being hit and collided with the couple behind him. An arm shot out from the tangled bodies, shoving him forward chest first into the man who'd just come out of the bathroom. Ashton put his hands up to steady himself, inhaling the scent of leather and whiskey with a faint whiff of stale tobacco as he looked at Calum's face inches from his own.
"Sorry, uh, I was pushed," Ashton apologized, unable to stop staring at the other man's lips.
"It's ok," Calum's heart was pounding, and he was sure Ashton could feel it through his jacket. He was tempted to make a move and go in for a kiss. He paused long enough to remember the interview, and not wanting to have another misstep, he let the moment pass. "It's all yours," he said squeezing over so Ashton could pass.
Ashton paused, confused, but remembered he was headed to the bathroom. "Thanks, uh, see ya," he replied trying not to stammer. Yeah, that was smooth, he thought. Before he closed the door, he looked back and caught Calum looking back at him.hey both smiled before the crowd closed in and he lost eye contact. He had to stand and splash cold water on his face to get his pulse back to normal. When he looked in the mirror, he saw that his face was still very pink and he was grinning like a fool. I didn't just imagine that did I? What am I doing? What am I going to cook for him?
*********
Ashton jumped at the sound of the buzzer even though he was expecting her. He quickly let her up, and within seconds Hima was at his door.
"How did it go?" He hadn't even fully opened the door before the question was past his lips.
"Eager much? Why don't you get me a drink, and I'll decide what I want to tell you," she said, taking off her jacket and hanging it up.
"You impertinent bitch," Ashton cracked up and headed to the kitchen to put on the kettle.
"You sound like my mother," Hima settled at the bar facing him.
Ashton had expanded his kitchen so he could install a six top gas range and a convection oven while giving himself extra counter space with a small sink directly across and a small island in between. Instead of a dining room, he had an L-shaped bar where he could serve guests directly from the kitchen. He pulled a pitcher of cold brew out of the fridge and poured himself a glass with a splash of cashew milk adding a splash to her cup of hot chai.
"It's such a shame you're gay. We'd have such a great marriage," she joked blowing on her tea.
"I love you too much to marry you, darling," Ashton replied as always.
"Good thing I like my new stepdaddy," she told him, and he choked on his coffee.
"So what did you guys talk about?" He asked when he'd recovered.
"Mostly me, but also you. What do you want first, the details about him or what he asked about you?" Hima smirked at him, almost laughing when he glared at her.
"I'll let you decide, how about that?" Ashton rummaged through the refrigerator before pulling out a loaf of bread.
"Ooh snack time. When did you go to the market? I thought you opened for Rafi today. What are you gonna make for him?" She fired off, trying to crane her neck to see what he bought.
"Nope, you're gonna talk or you're not getting fed. I went before I went in at ten and I stayed till eight. I've barely got home, and I don't need your attitude, young lady. Now spill it," he told her as he pulled out a couple of onions and some gruyere cheese.
"I love it when you're pissy. It looks so good on you. So I took him to Parvati's and ordered chana masala on roasted sweet potatoes. It was so good, I wish you liked Indian food more. We talked about my family, and how they're mostly engineers and lawyers but food was my passion. Confessed that when we first met, I had the biggest crush on you because you were so handsome." She giggled and made a show of fluttering her eyelashes at him. Ashton blushed and threw a caper at her. Hima swatted it back at him and kept talking. "Calum agreed you were handsome by the way. So I told him how you'd mentored me, and when you left the Hilton to open Anne-Marie's, you brought me with you. It was very heartwarming, and I promise I made you look good. He asked a few questions about you, but it was mostly professional stuff. What was it like working for you? What kind of collaborative effort went into the menu? Stuff like that," she shrugged watching Ashton heat up some soup as the sandwiches cooked.
"Well, that's a lot of nothing. I thought you were better than that," Ashton said, pouting his lips at her.
"I know he asked if you were single, but he was hella smooth about it. He asked what kind of gift he should bring tomorrow, whether it should be a bottle of wine or something you could share if you had a roommate. Don't worry, I let him know you were single, but I was cool about it," Hima grinned at her boss's discomfort. He cut the sandwich in half and poured a cup of soup to go with it. He cut some fresh chives to top off the soup along with some crème Fraiche and fresh cracked pepper.
She stopped talking to enjoy the food. Ashton introduced her to cream of celery soup and it quickly became a favorite. The sandwich was beyond good yet incredibly simple: sauteed onions on a grilled cheese sandwich made with Ashton's homemade compound shallot-butter.
"I'm disappointed, I thought you were better than that," Ashton raised his eyebrows at her.
"I'm not done, I'm just enjoying the food. My compliments to the chef." Hima ripped a piece of crust off her sandwich and dipped it in her soup. "I found out some things about Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome," she told him before running her tongue along the edge of the bread and then taking a bite.
Ashton laughed and flipped her off. He had pastry cream cooking in a double boiler, so he was continuously stirring between bites.
Watching him work, she never knew if she was completely in awe of him or a little in love with him, but probably both if she was honest with herself. She'd told Calum as much, off the record of course. It always amazed her how his large hands could be so nimble and quick with a knife, yet so delicate and careful when he was garnishing and plating. She'd told Calum how grateful she was that Ashton had given her such a huge opportunity without being patronizing or expecting her to touch his cock.
People might think cooking would be a natural fit for a woman but professional kitchens were very much a man's world. You had to be physically and mentally tough. She was lucky that she'd gotten out the hotels before she'd been subjected to sexual harassment, but she'd seen enough. Ashton didn't tolerate any kind of physical or verbal harassment, but every cook could curse a blue streak and work through an injury. Most cooks wore their scars like battle wounds. Hima had a jagged thin white line trailing down her left forearm from a staple on a lettuce box that ripped her flesh open while putting away a truck. Ashton had a couple of red welts from the panini grill decorating his arms and a gnarly pink, puckered scar on his left wrist from an accident with molten sugar years ago.
"Ok so, he's a year and a half younger than you, turns 28 in January actually. Aquarius, so that should be fun. Never married, but he's got the kid," Hima informed him.
"That really came out of nowhere the other night. I never would've guessed that," Ashton said over his shoulder, turning his back on her to keep stirring.
"It happened when he was in high school. His first girlfriend, their senior year of high school. They'd already been broken up for two months when they got the news, just when he'd started to figure out his sexuality. They tried to get back together for the sake of their daughter but quickly realized it wouldn't work in a traditional way. Now they're best friends and co-parents to Vanessa Joy. In fact, when Nicole married her boyfriend, Michael, two years ago Calum walked her down the aisle," Hima told him.
Ashton's jaw dropped. "What the hell, Hima? You guys had lunch one time and you know his life story."
"My mother's interrogation skills rubbed off I guess. His daughter also happened to call while he was with me. It was so cute; she made the honor roll and he was so proud. He apologized for taking the call during lunch but said he always has to answer if it's his daughter or his mom."
Ashton turned towards Hima, smiling and blushing, "I can respect that."
"I'm sure you can, Mama's boy," she replied. "Honestly the two of you are adorable. A pair of smitten kittens. He kept asking questions about what it's like to work with you. What are you like as a boss? And every question he got this funny little smile and couldn't look at me. I really hate that you get the best looking guys. It's bad enough you look like that," Hima gestured at him as she looked him up and down. "First Luke, and now Calum, I'm so jealous. That being said I really hope you hook up with him. You could stand to get laid."
"Watch it," he cautioned, not wanting to kill the mood.
"Sorry, but the other night y'all had some serious chemistry. You should go for it. Speaking of, I gotta go. Kabir is having a date night so I actually don't have to go home," she checked her phone, and Ashton didn't recognize the gaudy pink glitter case.
She caught his puzzled expression and laughed, "My mom checks my location, so my iPhone and my car stay at Maisie's. Everything gets forwarded here, and I don't have to answer a million questions."
"You're 24, how are you still dealing with this? When is your mother going to treat you like an adult?" Ashton shook his head, he never understood how she dealt with her family.
She sighed, "It's impossible to explain unless you have Asian parents. My mom grew up here, but my grandparents were still very much rooted in India. If you think my mom is difficult, you should've met grandma." A text came in, and she wrinkled her nose in annoyance reading it. "Why am I the only person who's punctual?" She muttered to herself before looking back at Ashton. "So what are you making tomorrow for the big date, I mean, interview? Mind if I smoke?"
He shook his head and followed her onto the balcony. "Stop saying that, I'm nervous enough as it is. I'm starting with a wilted chard salad with figs and goat cheese, and maybe a soup. I haven't decided, but for the main, I'm making mushroom Wellington with my specialty Mac and cheese and whatever vegetables I pick up at the market tomorrow morning. I'm making a sorbet for dessert. I was going to make a pavlova, but I don't have the patience for merengue right now."
"Calum doesn't stand a chance, he'll be thoroughly seduced. Then I'll get my magazine story and be a star. People will start asking me for photos on the street, they'll learn how to pronounce my name, and I'm only going by Hima. I think I can get away with just one name, like Madonna, Beyonce, and Cher. Don't you? I promise the fame won't go to my head. I'll still be Hima from the block."
Ashton cracked up. "Ok there, Roxy Hart," he teased. "You are so extra, it's too much for an old gay like myself."
"You're not even thirty," she protested. Another text came in and her eyes lit up. She stubbed her cigarette out on the bottom of her shoe before wiping it clean with a napkin and stuffed both in her purse to throw away outside. "You've just gotta get back on the horse, and Calum seems like the type who'd be into chaps and spurs."
"Don't you have places to go, people to do?" He asked, walking her to the door.
"Sure do, good luck tomorrow," she kissed his cheek and was gone.
*********
Calum finished the dishes and popped another antacid in his mouth. Spicy food didn't used to give him heartburn. Getting old I guess. His dog, Brutus, danced around his feet begging for a treat.
"Not gonna happen, old man," he bent down to scratch the pooch behind his ears, but Brutus immediately flipped over for a belly rub. "Greedy bastard," Calum chuckled but obliged with a ton down and chin scratches. He found a chew stick on the couch and tossed it over by the dog's bed, and soon Brutus was curled up contentedly gnawing himself to sleep.
Calum watched his little guy for a bit before heading to his desk to type out a rough draft. Hima was a firecracker, full of energy and ideas, and hard to keep up with. She talked a mile a minute, often switching topics mid-thought as she spoke. He'd had his voice recorder on, but he liked to write his first draft from memory. He admired her passion for her work, and her determination to follow her own path. She was fiercely loyal to Ashton and grateful for the opportunity he'd given her. Calum would've suspected she was a bit smitten with her boss, but she openly admitted her crush. She was quick to insist Ashton had never encouraged or entertained the idea, but she didn't need to tell him that.
Calum knew all about Ashton's history, the cheating, the fights, the messy breakup that brought the restaurant down. He exhaled, nervous about having that conversation. He shut his laptop, now too distracted to write. It's just an interview, calm down. He tried to be rational, but his thoughts kept drifting back to bumping into Ashton at the bar. The pink shirt, the star tattoo begging to be traced with his tongue, those hazel eyes that made his heart jump into his stomach. He tried to focus on his laptop. This article wasn't going to write itself.
****
Ashton laid on his back, concentrating on his breathing as he pressed his knees to the floor in reclining bound angle pose. He'd had too much coffee, and although his body was tired, his mind was racing. His phone was vibrating on the dresser, but Ashton ignored it, moving into a butterfly pose and touching his forehead to the floor. He exhaled, trying to clear his mind. But all he could think about was Calum Hood. He had a brand new restaurant to run. Now was not a good time to become infatuated with a handsome reporter. So why haven't you stopped smiling all day?
He breathed deeply, in, out, in, out. But he couldn't concentrate, couldn't calm down. He pushed himself off the floor and grabbed his water off the table. He opened his phone and was surprised to see a notification from the restaurant security system.
Alarm deactivated at 12:02 AM
Alarm Panel 2
Code: 4452
Ashton realized Hima was at the restaurant. He knew she usually went there after her accounting class but that definitely wasn't the case tonight. Probably popped in for a bottle of wine, which doesn't sound like a bad idea.
The kitchen tiles were chilly beneath his bare feet as he headed towards the small wine fridge on his counter. Craving something sweet, he found a Shiraz he'd been saving and poured a small glass. He scrolled through Spotify, picking a playlist at random, and Robyn's "Dancing on my Own" came over the speakers following him through the apartment back into his bedroom. He caught sight of himself in the mirror and paused.
He pulled his shirt off and turned around examining the freshly-healed Phoenix tattoo decorating his left side from his hip to the top of his ribs, covering up the tattoo of Luke's name, birth date, and their wedding date. He trusted his tattoo artist and let him have creative freedom on the brightly-colored feathers and flames. It turned out beautifully. He turned sideways, rubbing his stomach and flexing in the mirror. He was in the best shape he'd been in since he was a teenager. Yoga kept him toned and lean so he was muscled without being bulky.
I'm giving it my all
But I'm not the girl you're taking home
He let the Swedish synth-pop beat take over, his hips swaying as he listened to lyrics about loneliness and feeling left out.
I keep dancing on my own
The irony wasn't lost on him as he kept dancing, moving away from the mirror. The next song was too slow so he quickly scrolled looking for something better. He clicked on Whitney Houston's "How Will I Know," and began to sing along. He saw that Hima hadn't left the restaurant and opened up the security camera feed on his phone to make sure she was ok.
****
The more Calum stared at the screen the more his concentration drifted. He wondered if Ashton had a type. Cal knew he was decent looking, but he wasn't Luke Hemmings. He snorted at the thought of that simpering pretty boy. Luke was a spoiled child, soft and weak, thinking only of himself. I bet he's selfish in bed, probably a bossy bottom He was surprised at the surge of jealousy he felt. Don't bring Finn into this. He rubbed his temples at the memory of finding out his then-boyfriend was cheating with Luke.
Finn was always looking for an opportunity, whatever would take him to the next level. His relationship of almost a year with Calum failed to get him noticed in the food press. Finn felt Ashton didn't give him enough credit at Lune Rouge and whined constantly about it. Cal was having his own career struggles at the time and personally thought Finn was acting like a spoiled brat instead of being grateful for the opportunity. They began to spend less time together after Calum's snarky review caused a huge blow up. So when Ashton and Luke's relationship began to fray, Finn had time to lend a sympathetic ear. Calum suspected Finn was cheating, but he bought into the “golden couple” bullshit so Luke never crossed his mind. Calum was shocked and gutted when he walked in on the two of them one afternoon. Finn was supposed to be out of town, and Calum popped by to check on his dogs. The sound of sex greeted him when he opened the door and he should have left right then. His curiosity got the better of him, and he walked towards the bedroom. Their moans masked the sound of his boots as someone had a very loud orgasm. Calum opened the door as they were falling away from each other. He walked in to find them panting for breath, sweaty and beautiful with the afterglow. Luke panicked and tried to hide himself, but Finn didn't flinch.
"Well, I guess you know now," he said, smirking as his green eyes met Calum's. "If you're down for it, we've been talking about trying a third. You can top us both if you want." He shrugged and Calum physically felt the spell break. Looking back, he knew Finn broke his ego more than his heart. He'd been humiliated when it all came out, but he knew the affair had been worse for Ashton. He could tell Ashton was still damaged but definitely not broken. Wouldn't mind letting him break me, Calum thought, his mind wandering back to that unbuttoned pink shirt, Ashton's chest and neck begging to be marked up. I bet he likes it rough.
Calum caught himself daydreaming again and blinked the half-filled word document back into focus. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a crush on someone, and he felt ridiculous. How am I gonna get through this interview? It didn't help that Hima kept teasing him about it being a date. Calum's last date, with Nick the lawyer, had been a disaster. He'd ended up leaving after Nick disappeared on another phone call.
The truth was, he was excited about this interview and wished it really was a date. He'd scheduled a quick haircut and shave in the morning and carefully picked out an outfit. He figured his short-sleeve, red button-up paired with a black tank underneath would show off his arms while helping to hide his tummy pudge. He rubbed his stomach, still poking out from the leftover Indian food he'd finished off an hour ago, before letting his hand wander down and brushing his fingers across his cock and feeling it twitch in his basketball shorts. He wondered what Ashton would be wearing tomorrow. He pictured Ashton at the club, the ripped black jeans and the pink shirt unbuttoned enough to tease him. His dick twitched in his hand, waking up and demanding attention.
****
Ashton gasped and almost dropped his phone at the sight of Hima standing in the break room in nothing but her bra and panties. He hadn't recovered from that shock when a male figure crawled into the frame. It took Ashton several seconds to realize the man was nude and covered in tattoos. The tattoos rang a bell, and he realized he was looking at Dakota, model/actor, Maisie's nephew, and a server at Anne Marie's. Dakota was a dark, brooding pretty boy with a perfect pink pout and tousled dark curls that he was always brushing out of his eyes. He was great at his job, but other than that he'd made no impression on Ashton, until now. Ashton watched the younger man on his knees in front of Hima as he sucked on her bright pink cock. What the fuck is happening?
Ashton blinked at his screen, still processing everything when Dakota stood up and bent over the table. Hima lined up behind him and thrust her hips against his ass. Ashton gulped for air and felt beads of sweat break out on his upper lip. He watched for a minute, hypnotized by Dakota writhing in pleasure, his black curls bouncing with every stroke, shoulders hunching over as he gripped the table. Ashton's mind flashed to Calum and what it would look like to have him bent over like that. He realized his dick was getting hard and quickly closed the app, feeling embarrassed for invading her privacy. He fumbled getting his phone into his pocket and accidentally skipped to the next song. "Anytime, Any Place," by Janet Jackson filled the room. He laughed to himself at the sexy song and took another sip of wine.
****
Calum squeezed himself through his clothes. He vaguely remembered Finn telling him Ashton was rumored to have a massive cock. He groaned at the thought of Ashton's hazel eyes looking down at him while he was on his knees. He imagined Ashton's cock brushing against his lips, teasing both of them. Calum groaned and gave up any pretense of trying to work. He stood up too quickly and knocked his chair over causing Brutus to wake from a dead sleep and start barking his head off.
"It's ok, boy," Calum assured him, making sure he laid back down before going into his bedroom and shutting the door. Moments later he was stripped down to his boxers and shirt digging through his top dresser drawer until he found the small bag hiding under his socks. He pulled a bottle of lube and a small silicone sleeve out of the bag and walked back to the bed. He peeled off his shirt, kicked off his underwear and laid on his back on the bed. His cock was flat against his stomach, and as Calum reached for it he wondered what Ashton was doing right now.
****
Ashton felt the plug slip into his ass and shivered at the chill of the stainless steel. He wiped his hands off on a towel and walked out of the bathroom into his bedroom. The music was still playing. Janet's silky smooth voice gave way to Beyonce’s sultry vocals
Baby put your arms around me
Tell me I'm a problem
He walked back into his bedroom, feeling delicious shivers from the pressure on his prostate as he moved. The city lights illuminated the room from the open blinds on the balcony.
Stop acting so scared, just do what I tell
First go through my legs, go back on your head
And whatever you want, yeah baby I'll bet it comes true
He reached down and squeezed his dick, rubbing his thumb over the tip down to the sensitive underside of the ridge. Pulling the shaft down and away from his body, pushing almost to the point of pain before easing up and giving it a nice slow stroke. He repeated the motion, each time pulling a little harder, edging a little closer to making it hurt, each time when he pulled back the relief was more intense. His fantasies were new visions: dark eyes and black curls still coming into focus in his mind's eye. He squeezed his muscles around the plug as he tapped the remote on the table next to him. The plug began to vibrate on the lowest speed and Ashton hissed at the sensation. He wondered if he'd let Calum fuck him. Ashton didn't bottom very often. Luke didn't like to do the work, rarely agreed to switch up and whined whenever he did. Calum looked like he could give as well as he got.
***
Calum grunted as he pushed his cock, slick and shiny with lube, into the sleeve. His hips jerked upwards into the air as the countless smooth nubby fingers lining the inside of the toy closed around his swollen shaft, gripping and massaging the taut skin with every stroke. He screwed his eyes shut picturing Ashton on his back with his knees pulled up to his chest as he begged for him. Calum bit his lip to stifle a moan, slowing down his speed, not wanting to cum too fast. Hima told him Ashton called himself a “bendy boy” and had a strict yoga routine which just sent Calum's mind spinning, picturing trying different positions until Ashton was screaming for him. Calum moved his hand away, leaving the toy. The scenario in his mind began to switch up. The only thing Calum could think of hotter than fucking Ashton was getting railed by his massive cock.
****
The combed cotton, high-thread-count pillowcase felt velvety soft and air-conditioned chilled when he bunched the pillow in his fists as he thrust his hips, burying his shaft in the soft folds. It felt amazing but was cold comfort when he was craving Calum's body heat. He turned the remote up a notch and adjusted the settings; a pulse pattern began throbbing against his core. He squeezed down on his dick even harder. He could feel the delicate feathers snapping under his fingers, but he didn't care. Ashton ached for release, longing to have Calum in his bed tonight. Every nerve in his body seemed to come alive as his orgasm began to build. His hips pumped faster trying to match the pulsing rhythm inside him. He wanted Calum, with a craving he’d never felt before. Something in those dark eyes challenged Ashton. There was something about this mysterious reporter that he needed to discover. He was getting closer with every stroke, the fantasy switching to pounding Calum into the mattress, seeing how well he could throw it back. The image was too much and he shuddered, cursing out loud as his climax hit. His hips stuttered and his legs wobbled, forcing him to his knees. The vibrator extended his orgasm, milking him drop by drop as he whimpered and fumbled for the remote. When he finally turned it off, he rolled onto his back and tried to catch his breath, thankful he'd bought a nice fluffy rug to put next to his bed. .
****
Calum flipped over onto his stomach, grinding down with his hips, the sleeve moving with the friction. He wondered if Ashton was vanilla or if he could get into Calum's slight pain kink. He'd looked for Ashton on FetLife to no avail, but he was fairly sure he'd found Hima so that was a surprise. Calum reached up and tugged his nipple hard as his hips rocked slowly. There was a power to Ashton. He had a dominant side which Calum had clearly seen in his dynamic with Luke, despite Ashton being smaller in size. Calum wanted to see how he'd take charge because he wasn't soft like Luke, but he had no doubt Ashton could handle him. Calum raised himself up on his forearms, pumping his hips furiously. He thought about those arms wrapped around his neck, his teeth grazing Ashton's blood moon tattoos as he bent Cal over and took him hard and fast. He whimpered, biting the pillow, his rhythm starting to stutter as he thought about Ashton looking up at him, eyes wide with Calum's hand at his throat as they reached their high together. Calum was just at the edge when he quickly rolled over, removing the toy and ruining his orgasm. He gasped, his whole body shaking as his release spilled onto his belly. After a moment he reached down, using the sleeve to tease the tip through the aftershocks until it became too sensitive to touch. He was hungry again, so he grabbed a Kleenex and wiped himself off as best he could before walking, still naked, back through his house to turn on the oven. Pizza was always a good snack after sex, and he had an article to work on.
@sublimehood @tea4sykes @be-ready-when-i-say-go @scribblesos @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @wildmichaelflower @castaway-cashton @damselindistressanu @notinthesameguey @cashtonasfuck @irwinkitten @mermaidcashton @malumsmermaid
#calum hood#ashton irwin#cashton#cashton smut#calum hood imagine#calum hood smut#ashton irwin smut#cashton slash#5sos#5sos smut
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Edie & Liam
aleeunayzhun: anyone else think the ‘monster’ addition was totally unnecessary and has taken away from what was a mildly intriguing ARG concept beforehand?
aleeunayzhun: 🙄 back on the trail for a new rabbithole to fall down
level26: Yeah, axed it for me
aleeunayzhun: the paranormal route can be alright if it’s done right but usually it ain’t and then it’s a cop-out, PM definitely didn’t think where they were going with this
aleeunayzhun: the ones that rely on the real world but twist it are always scarier to me, no one ever has the balls to stick with it, to not throw in some bullshit ghost jumpscares to get the idiots with
level26: creepypasta is where it ends up with barely no exceptions
aleeunayzhun: mhmm
aleeunayzhun: and no one has shanked their mate over anything on there in time
level26: got a few I’ll volunteer if the next 🐇 is more of this or promo again
aleeunayzhun: If one more shitty band thinks throwing out some binary or morse code makes them any less shit, I’ll join you
level26: dednah tfel neve t'nia ylbaborp yeht
aleeunayzhun: imij erew yeht hsiw yeht
level26: 👅💔🍆💔🎸💔
aleeunayzhun: 💔 they reckon hot groupies hang about on reddit
level26: trolls are their groupies, they can only be fuelled by edgy r/hate 🤘
aleeunayzhun: awh, r/hate is only a degree away from r/love after-all
level26: just like that, a plotline that’d be less crap than [whatever this ARG we’re slagging off is called]
aleeunayzhun: not gonna start my annoying beg promo in here quite yet but how hard was that, really
level26: us both being spam bots is still a better twist than the monster did it
aleeunayzhun: Привет, дорогая, хочешь увидеть мои сексуальные фотки? Hажмите ссылку СЕЙЧАС! [‘Hello dear, do you want to see my sexy pictures? Click the link NOW!’ And a link to god knows what lmao]
level26: NO soundcloud rapper link?! 💀 what an r/cockblock
aleeunayzhun: how’d you guess 😏
level26: my paranormal powers kicked in, clicking that link must’ve leveled me up
aleeunayzhun: advert for communism? 🤔🤫
level26: find me and my sick beats on r/motherrussia
aleeunayzhun: MK Ultra is definitely taken by about 1000 other shit DJs
aleeunayzhun: and is the poorly executed plot of several other ARGs I’ve also given up on
level26: KM Extra is my personal fave shit DJ, really doing something
aleeunayzhun: the fact I genuinely know who that is 😷😷
level26: I noclipped into his set at [somewhere she would have heard of even if she’s not been] talk about an eldritch location
aleeunayzhun: you must’ve felt like the only player in a crowd of NPCs 🧟♀️🧠💀🧟♂
level26: close enough to the review I would’ve left
aleeunayzhun: I’ll leave it
aleeunayzhun: I know the coordinates
level26: I’ll 👀 out for it
level26: you on moscow standard time or one of the other 10?
aleeunayzhun: I’m the Russian spy, I hack you, comrade
level26: ❤️ tôi cũng cam kết với chính nghĩa cộng sản ❤️ [with some link to the Communist Party of Vietnam because we’re saying we’re as committed to communism]
aleeunayzhun: [links to the Communist Party of Ireland to be like obvs we have both worked out we’re actually from here
level26: cracked the code, like, full props to KM Extra
aleeunayzhun: Only in Dubo would that shit fly
level26: they’d eat his head off outside the pale, yeah, galway’d be having none of it
aleeunayzhun: what they got but a bunch of rocks though
level26: easy pick for the murder weapon
aleeunayzhun: you’d never get far enough in the guinness factory to drown someone in a vat 💔
level26: could do if you got a job as manager and closed for essential maintenance
aleeunayzhun: 💡
aleeunayzhun: won’t do no harm to the taste
level26: iron boost if he’s bleeding heavily when he goes in
aleeunayzhun: delicious and nutritious
level26: ARG coming soon from guinness
aleeunayzhun: bastards better give credit
level26: they can have it, we’re not short of ideas
aleeunayzhun: and you ain’t heard nothing yet
aleeunayzhun: not making it that easy for the wannabe PMs with none of their own
aleeunayzhun: 🔐the real ones
level26: fair play, given enough freebies out in this thread
aleeunayzhun: 🤐
aleeunayzhun: [later on though definitely some way to contact her privately but in a way that you’ve got to work it out of course]
level26: [at least then we can switch to y’all’s names ‘cause I can’t think of a username for the life of me lol]
Edie: [You can add it later and change it, it’s fine lol]
Liam: 🔓
Edie: 1 🔑 for 1 💎
Edie: Suitably impressed
Liam: if I knew anywhere that loaded a 💎 into the gun I’d be off but what’s impressive about a swollen and green ear
Edie: Impressive, no; but good footage for the game? Absolutely
Liam: I’d do it here to have time to mess about with all the lighting and angles
Edie: you’re 🎥
Edie: not enough have actual artistic merit so fair play
Liam: but thinking about it, recording the conveyor belt of a trainee stabbing holes in screaming babies ears all day could have some merit to it, maybe I should get myself up
Edie: you can buy anything and everything from bezos
Edie: live your dreams
Liam: putting my dreams on tape would be worse than the monster reveal
Liam: cheapest jumpscares and effects
Edie: not to mention outing yourself to the whole thread, not just me
Liam: how many teachers would crawl out the woodwork if there was a mass reveal
Edie: to offer you the school’s stellar mental health services
Edie: the one nurse phoning it in
Liam: find my dad lurking on the thread too, that’d be a trip
Edie: unexpectedly wholesome
Edie: I’ll start hiding caches where my dad hides his stashes
Edie: unintentional rhyme
Liam: bars 🎼
Edie: @ KM Extra
Liam: Fachtna to his ma who thinks he’s a saint
Edie: Oof
Edie: ARG concept no. ? the horror of the Irish language
Liam: my ma would be 😱 if I went and hugged her for not doing me that wrong
Edie: not the audience we aim to 😱 really
Liam: too easy
Edie: almost as easy as your name to spell and say
Edie: you even from here 👽
Liam: wouldn’t take enough working out to set you as a test, records are basically lying about
Edie: nothing relating to school is a challenge
Liam: just getting that nurse to give a shit
Edie: if she reckons she’s 👀 it all…
Liam: front row of our intended audience
Edie: splash zone
Liam: she’s never off her phone, spy like you won’t have no problem hacking it
Edie: her nudes = actual monstrosity
Liam: dunno what Mr Doyle sees in her
Edie: yeah, he’s such a looker himself, like
Liam: his wife used to be pretty fit
Edie: don’t matter when she explains how and why people cheat
Edie: psychobabble gets ‘em off every time
Liam: if they taught psychology nobody’d be off each other or learning anything then
Edie: sounds like any other standard schoolday
Liam: that's what they’re getting up to in your class, is it
Edie: as cliche as the monster, yeah
Liam: 🔥🏫
Edie: hear hear
Edie: got to make the endless fire drills worth it one day
Liam: can’t miss me standing in line or not
Edie: then I won’t
Liam: next false alarm I pull
Edie: + 💎
Liam: + 👀
Liam: dont have to hate every cliche
Edie: not the good ones
Edie: all about how you use or misuse them
Liam: can you overuse eye contact
Edie: I can
Liam: I can make a kubrick stare work however many takes you wanna do
Edie: you don’t think I’m a one-take 🌟
Liam: I’ve not shot you
Edie: 🤯🔫
Liam: I’m not a one-take 📷📹
Edie: is that a brag for not suffering from premature ejaculation?
Liam: do you need that reassurance
Edie: I don’t know
Liam: I’ll think about other unsexy shit if your eyes start getting to me too much
Edie: Ha, yeah right
Edie: just don’t think about the 🔥
Liam: 🚒 buzzkill
Edie: 🚓 cockblock
Liam: 🚑 scene stealers
Edie: 🛸 out of here
Liam: before you can get stuck there as a 👻
Edie: Purgatory is preferable to that place forever
Liam: stay alive and it’s simple to get out of 🏫
Edie: I’ll leave my bag behind
Edie: 1st rule and only, really
Liam: don’t really need a pile of textbooks
Edie: I doubt that’s what you carry
Edie: I know I don’t
Liam: I can get more of what I do and I bet you could too
Edie: Bars
Liam: 😏
Edie: You’ve promo’d him a lot if you ain’t him
Edie: KM, like
Edie: bit sus
Liam: you said you know who he is, you know I ain’t
Liam: maybe I love him or some gay shit
Edie: none of his tracks sound like love songs
Liam: guess he don’t love me back
Edie: Oh honey
Edie: lock him in when you set the fire
Liam: he can keep spitting out those fuck yous til the end
Edie: dedication ✊
Liam: and +++ for morale
Edie: what a lad
Liam: love triangle is a cliche too far, take a deep breath or something
Edie: bit possessive
Liam: directors are dicks
Edie: and the heartbroken
Liam: yeah, couldn’t be kind to you if I wanted
Edie: I’ll survive
Edie: you’ve given me the heads up, I’ll give you the 👀
Liam: respect killing me with your 👀 and taking him for yourself
Edie: who could blame me
Liam: my ma as I’m dead, like
Edie: true
Edie: i’ll avoid her at the tescos
Liam: 🛒 dash
Edie: got a selection of my own
Edie: [picture because the random crap you would have in the barns lmao]
Liam: [a picture of one he stole at some point that’s on fire or been blown up or whatever]
Edie: 👏
Edie: what else can we 💥
Liam: got any barns you don’t use
Liam: or 🚜 stuff
Edie: loads
Edie: if you’re lucky, I’ll leave another 🔑
Liam: got another ear to put a 💎 in, luck’s gonna run out beyond it
Edie: sounds like some gay shit, you should
Liam: 👌
Liam: [pics when we’ve done this because of course we have, casually raiding either your mother or sister’s jewellery stashes here like]
Edie: Oh
Edie: actually looks kinda sick
Edie: you’re welcome then
Liam: I’ll send the footage when I’ve edited it
Edie: I look forward to it
Edie: I can’t give you any clues
Liam: what makes you think I need em
Edie: [idk how to differentiate but clearly the clue to where you live needs to be much harder to find and then decode lmao]
Liam: [awkward when he blatantly already knows where you live]
Edie: [do not even need to do the work, whoops]
Liam: [convincingly pretend you are though please]
Edie: [thank god he’s not a murderer even if he is a stalker, just giving out this info willynilly]
Liam: [not your stalker, it’s FINE]
Edie: [oh dear oh dear]
Edie: I’ll know when you work it out
Liam: yeah, I’ll show up 📷📹🌾
Liam: or send a 📦💣 if you wanna take things slow
Edie: you decide
Edie: I’ll shake all the packages extra hard
Liam: cancel the real 🐇 I thought about
Edie: animal cruelty is lamer than bed wetting
Liam: never even tipped a 🐄
Edie: they’ll appreciate it
Edie: anyway, if you did, punishment is letting them kick you in the face so you lose in the end
Liam: head injury’s a win if I get caught for the 🔥🏫 or being seen staring in your window
Edie: 😍🤤 just serial killer things
Liam: pretend I didn’t say KM’s gonna be my 1st victim
Edie: I’ll never feel special otherwise
Liam: you don’t feel special knowing I cracked your code
Edie: if anything, it makes you look smart and me not smart enough
Liam: you’re smart enough that I wanted to
Edie: I’m not going to ruin it with a cliche jumpscare now
Liam: me either, you’re smart enough too to see me coming
Edie: and you’re tall, so I hear
Liam: dunno where from, my dad’s not
Edie: he’s definitely your dad?
Edie: I may as well accuse your ma because I’m already avoiding her for the whole killing you thing
Liam: don't act like it which probably means he is
Edie: ha, real talk
Edie: I think you might be taller than mine
Edie: he’s 6’2
Liam: ha, I am
Edie: you’re the tallest person in school, possibly town
Edie: definite 👽
Liam: taking their time parking the ufo and picking me up, typical dad
Edie: did they forget ET or leave him here on purpose
Edie: he was fucking annoying
Liam: if I looked that much like a ballsack I’d understand
Edie: 😂
Edie: least you’d get to get fucked up with baby Drew Barrymore
Liam: baileys on cereal does taste sick, always down for that
Edie: yum
Edie: what do your fingers look like
Liam: [a video of his hands from lots of angles like hello]
Edie: hot
Edie: you can call me Elliot
Liam: or just call you instead of home
Edie: 😎 so smooth
Liam: what’s my ma gonna say, get back, talking to you is smarter
Edie: I’ve got time to set up the voice distorter so you’re not disappointed by the lack of crEEEEeeeEPpPPpyyyyYy vibes
Liam: and I’ll have loads of time to hear how you sound without it when I stake your house out
Edie: I’ll be sure to be loud
Edie: and not chat total inane shit with my family
Liam: you got your own room
Edie: technically not
Edie: but there are other rooms and places to crash in, when I wanna be alone
Liam: there’s my excuse to zoom in creeEEPpILY close 👀 when you’re not
Edie: very awkward and even ruder if you confused me for my sister
Edie: no one’s done that for ages
Liam: how were they ever doing it
Edie: we’re both the white ones, they just didn’t know which was which
Liam: can’t be a hard code to crack, not gonna be confusing you for anyone
Edie: good
Edie: it was pretty annoying
Edie: and I’m already your second victim as it is
Liam: partner in crime, or groupie to mine if you’re not getting actively involved, but still standing at the end
Edie: hope you’re writing some of these down
Edie: ‘cos I’m not gonna be your groupie
Edie: got my own scores to settle, own havoc to wreak
Liam: don’t need to write down I don’t want you to die, I’ll remember
Edie: it rhymed though
Edie: I’ll steal your lines then
Liam: write as many songs about me as you want, be your groupie til I get 🛸✌️
Edie: [send your music links because you ain’t]
Edie: give me a sec to do yours but pretend any of these are about you
Liam: this is you
Liam: serious
Edie: yeah
Edie: if I was gonna lie I’d have done that a few steps ago
Liam: I’m gonna lie they’re all about me
Edie: that’s what serious meant
Liam: it meant I’m impressed and you’re downplaying how smart you are
Edie: you can be my hypeman and overplay it
Liam: [does by uploading this edited ear piercing escapade with whatever song of hers we like and fits the vibe playing in it, giving her credit because we’re not a heathen and also putting on his stories that he’s listening to these tracks and hyping them how you can]
Edie: [so 😍 over this but trying to be chill somehow and somewhat even though we’re extra af anyway]
Edie: maybe I do wanna be your groupie
Edie: what do you want from me
Edie: like, I owe you and I want to give you something too, ‘cos
Edie: talking to you IS interesting
Edie: and not just because I could be talking to my ma or someone else really boring instead just ‘cos you are
Liam: [for real though her views would definitely go up cos the vibe is he knows loads of people through his sister but also through his weird vids and the raves and stuff he goes to now too so]
Liam: all I want’s to keep talking to you, for as long as you’re into it
Liam: people don’t unless we’re off our faces, like
Edie: my notifications are popping off rn
Edie: I know what you mean though, everyone’s too scared to say or do anything when they don’t have something to blame it on, like being stupid or weird or whatever the fuck actually matters
Edie: more than being bored and alone
Liam: dunno what they’re more scared of, what they wanna ask or how I’m gonna answer, least I know what the topic’ll be
Liam: every convo I have is a loop
Edie: all anyone ever cares about and knows is the headlines
Edie: as if there aren’t countless hours minutes seconds before and after the big events they all 👀 and 👂
Liam: work out sweet for you as a headliner
Edie: Getting them to talk about what I’m doing instead of whatever my parents and the rest of the fucking fam did or do is the goal
Liam: with me hyping you up, no bother, keep knocking out hits and I’ll promo em with no trace of binary or morse code
Edie: and you make films
Edie: I wasn’t sure if you were pissing about at first
Edie: every other person in that thread is an aspiring filmmaker so
Liam: did put me off for a while
Edie: Yours aren’t going to be bad Blair Witch ripoffs though
Edie: I can say that much without seeing
Edie: even the stuff you’ve sent today is dope
Liam: do you wanna see
Edie: yes
Liam: [link her cos I doubt all the weird shit is just there chilling on your insta or whatever]
Edie: [just casually watching all of this nbd]
Liam: siht ekil kool annog weiver ruoy
Liam: или, может быть, это
Edie: hoặc tôi có thể làm như thế này [‘or I could do it like this’]
Edie: si ffuts ruoy kniht i looc woh edih annaw tnod i tub
Liam: ba mhó an spraoi é a cheilt agus a lorg go pearsanta [hide and seek would be more fun in person]
Edie: If you’ve worked out where I live like you say
Edie: be fair and count to 100
Liam: you reckon you made it that easy do you
Liam: be cool if you added some 00s to that and gave me a fair chance
Edie: no, you could still be anyone
Liam: someone to be scared of, yeah I probably am
Edie: Do you want me to be scared of you
Liam: nah
Edie: Good because I’m not and I never promised I was a 🌟 so
Liam: 🤩 with or without promises
Edie: How have I never spoke to you before
Edie: so weird
Liam: I wouldn’t have known what to say to a girl like you
Edie: You seem like you’re coping fine to me
Liam: from behind a keyboard I can cope with anything
Edie: You’re not afraid of me either
Liam: not yet
Edie: What do you think I’m like?
Liam: smart, creative, nice to talk to and look at
Edie: then you’ve got nothing to be afraid of
Liam: I’ve got nothing, that’s bang on
Edie: I’m not trying to take anything from you
Edie: but I could throw those compliments back to you x 10000
Liam: you don’t like possessive, I ain’t gonna tell you what to do
Edie: I didn’t say that
Edie: you could claim better than a soundcloud DJ though
Liam: been waiting to hear that compliment specifically
Edie: 😏
Edie: You look like you’d be a fuckboy
Edie: that’s what I thought
Edie: you’re that good-looking
Liam: if I was the game’d be making you think I wasn’t, which is kinda where we are
Edie: True
Edie: so I’m that dumb or you’re that good, what are we going for?
Liam: you’re smart enough to play dumb, I don’t think I can aim for god tier puppet mastery of anyone’s emotions
Edie: I can see the appeal of that
Edie: closing you eyes to thing you don’t wanna see, to see the things you do
Edie: but mine are wide open
Liam: I ain’t mad, there’d be no appeal to yours being closed, unless you drop bars in your sleep too
Edie: you’re gonna find which window is mine and find out, yeah
Liam: wake you up before you name drop KM as it’s MY thing
Edie: that’s your man, I can respect it
Liam: exclusivity is a + for you then, I’m taking notes
Edie: I don’t really know
Edie: everyone’s lame
Liam: I’ve been there, yeah
Edie: I can’t fake enthusiasm for the sake of it
Liam: it’s a shite idea, doable or not
Edie: I don’t intend to
Edie: 🤞
Liam: can’t think why you’d have to
Edie: I won’t make you promise
Liam: what’ll you make me do
Edie: I want you to show
Edie: and be real and not just go ghost after this
Edie: but I don’t know if you will and I know you might
Liam: be a short afterlife, we don’t get american summers
Edie: we both got the capabilities, but I can promise not to stalk you if you like
Edie: if you want to stick to usernames and anonymity
Liam: not working out where you are to prove I can and a face in the window haunting wouldn’t even impress any dads lurking on the thread
Edie: Alright but I’d be more inclined to keep a secret if you asked opposed to all the dads
Liam: I wouldn’t wanna keep anything we do secret
Edie: Yeah?
Liam: if this is a scam I’m falling for everyone’ll see why and if it’s not I’m gonna document everything
Edie: I won’t ask for your credit card details even once
Edie: This is… different
Edie: isn’t it
Liam: you can have my ma’s, you’re avoiding her and the big tescos
Liam: I don’t know what this is, I wasn’t expecting you at the end of any of those links
Edie: It IS the least she could do
Edie: If I had a guess, you weren’t it
Edie: Even though you mentioned Dubo, it isn’t that small of a town
Liam: ha, how livid you’d be if I was another american coming here for the culture
Edie: not close enough to st patrick’s that I was worried
Liam: how did you feel
Edie: I thought no way it was you at first
Edie: and then I couldn’t believe it was you
Edie: and then that I should’ve known you sooner
Edie: what about you?
Liam: I still can’t believe it’s you, I would’ve tried to chat to you sooner if I knew this is how it’d go
Edie: I’m glad we are now
Edie: and I’ve not fucked it up
Liam: if the small world’s not fucked it up, you won’t
Edie: like you said, be shit if you were in America
Liam: be crap if you were anyone else from school, like you said
Edie: If it was anyone else from school
Edie: this convo would be well over by now
Liam: it’s the longest I’ve had for years
Edie: It’s all so surface level, right
Edie: fuck that
Edie: I wanna know more about you, I don’t care if I shouldn’t just say that
Liam: what do you wanna know
Edie: Hmm
Edie: Do I only get the one question?
Edie: Because I’ll think more carefully if so
Liam: nah, there’s no limit on it
Edie: Cool
Edie: so how was your day, and what were you doing just before you went on the forum?
Liam: [send her a video of some rave or whatever you were at because it’s summer bitches]
Liam: + 3-4 hours sleeping
Edie: Lucky
Edie: where’d you sleep and where’s the weirdest place you’ve got + 3-4 hours sleep before?
Liam: [send her some of the blooper-esque stuff you cut out to make it look more fun than it is, cos we know you’re usually bored]
Liam: home, I can’t 💤 in random xD places but I could call your dad short and maybe have him in a fight
Edie: that’s hot
Edie: he could’ve been there and you coulda tested that theory
Edie: but I wanna be there when you do
Liam: you’d have a shite view from the stage with lights blinding you, can’t let on how talented you are while we’re there
Edie: 😶
Edie: he’s not old so it’s not on a par with animal abuse lameness
Liam: and if I get carried away you can stop me
Edie: can I
Edie: + skill points
Liam: 🎶 works on monsters
Edie: have to find a way to get you home before the 💤 hits
Edie: so cute 🥺
Liam: mine or yours
Edie: 😳
Edie: I’ll protect you while you sleep, see if you can at mine
Liam: I can’t if you’re 👀
Edie: that might be a problem
Liam: how long can you not blink for
Edie: [send a vid of an attempt]
Liam: can I keep this
Edie: ‘course
Edie: use it if you can
Liam: when you write a song about me it’ll need a vid
Edie: I’ve started
Edie: I think by the time you find me, it’ll be done
Liam: people who don’t know you are gonna think I edited your eyes that colour
Edie: hashtag they’re real 😏
Liam: the girl who said she had an operation as a kid’s the real you
Edie: 😂
Edie: they were going rouge and I’ve repressed those memories
Liam: what were you doing before you logged on
Edie: not at a rave, sadly
Edie: I was masterminding a sabotage though, trying to anyway
Liam: don’t leave it there giving me no details
Edie: it isn’t even bad ARG plot worthy
Edie: but my sister has her gross boyfriend over and I need to ruin their fun, obviously, because they are unbearable
Edie: easiest way to do that is make them babysit the twins because there’s nothing fun about 9 year olds
Edie: so I convinced ma to go out on a date, but I still need to get my brother out the way and he’s a massive nerd who never goes anywhere so I’m stumped
Liam: we could have fun with it, gotta be a route to go down that’s not just ripping off the shining again
Liam: a nerd how, he’s on mastermind and his subject is _
Edie: 🪓 is just a prop, honest
Edie: bones, not in a cool way
Edie: History, all that old shit
Liam: [obviously find some kind of obscure af exhibit or book signing or something that he’d potentially be interested in and send her the deets because sleuthing is what you do boy]
Edie: OMG but genuinely
Edie: you are too good at this, I’ll have to keep you around
Liam: stashed with the 🪓
Edie: if you fit
Edie: He’ll actually go to this, for sure
Edie: 🐓🚫
Liam: keep what you figure’s useful and chop off the rest 🧩🧟
Edie: 😋
Edie: what an offer
Edie: and I do need to keep busy so I can’t be asked to step in
Edie: not that I’d say yes
Liam: busy like with a 🧭
Edie: go on
Liam: [god knows what scavenger hunt he’s sending you on gal that he apparently just has ready at the drop of a hat but here we are]
Edie: [live your best nerd lives]
Liam: [really hope these clues aren’t something he was gonna torment your sister with, because no thank you]
Edie: [lmao i hope it wouldn’t translate so easy ‘cos imagine]
Liam: [it definitely wouldn’t but a hardcore blag happening here regardless, I like to think you were actually coming up with this for her while you were pretending to work out her address that you already know]
Edie: [that’s a solid shout ‘cos yeah that is a thing lol]
Edie: [definitely sending you the demo of this song at the end as a prize because we’re beyond 😍 now]
Liam: [likewise even though he’s trying to downplay how 😍 he is to himself rn because it’s so weird that she’s Rio’s sister and that he actually also likes her in her own right so we’re fully !?]
Liam: [nevertheless trying to think of something creepy but cool he could send to her house so she knows he knows where it is and that we think this demo is amazing obviously, maybe it’s lots of other people’s shit musical endeavours like KM that we’ve set on fire and otherwise destroyed in creative ways like you’ve slayed the competition gal since cds and tapes are back baby idk]
Edie: [I wonder if I can find something like that to post hmm to pinterest I go]
Liam: [love the visual of you just sneakily dropping off a massive box of melted plastic without anyone seeing you]
Edie: [you’re clearly good lmao, I was thinking we could do a convo with Billie between this and the next one though]
Liam: [good idea boo, I’m up for that]
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<<PREVIOUS⏺<<CONTENTS>>
CHAPTER TWO CONCLUSION
Haddonfield, Illinois
The ambulance driver took a swig of his coffee thermos and looked over to his partner, “So then Carlson for the Sox hits this ball on a rope...I mean on a rope..to right field and you think the things gonna be all over right?”
His partner laughed, he was biting his thumbnail and spitting the flecks of nail out—a disgusting habit, but good for killing time on runs. “Yeah.”
“But the right fielder for the Cubbies, Santos, he dives into the ivy...I mean straight into the goddam ivy and comes out with it. End of inning...it was incredible.”
“I can't believe I missed it,” his partner said, looking out of the window. “I just passed out.”
“How the hell you just pass out?” The driver asked him smiling.
“Well you remember me telling you about that girl, Lawrence's friend who works at the cellphone store?” He looked back at the driver with a grin.
The driver's eyes grew wide, “The hot broad with the little tattoo on her wrist of the teddy bear or somethin'.”
“Butterfly.”
“Yeah yeah, butterfly. What's her name?”
“Darla,”
“Yeah yeah Darla,” the driver laughed, “You didn't get with that! No way man.”
“Oh I got with that,” the partner smiled.
“No way.”
“Way man,” the partner pulled out his cellphone, “I got pics man, she came over about eight, and we carved a pumpkin and shit, hung out, watched a scary movie.”
“You carved a pumpkin with her?”
“Yeah look,” he said, holding out his phone, “I carved a sick ass little Jack-O-Lantern, take a look.”
The driver leaned over and looked down at the screen. “What the hell is that?” He asked laughing.
“It's a goblin or some shit man.” The partner replied.
“Didn't look like no goblin,”
“Well fuck you then man.”
“Well just sayin'.”
“Well check this,” the man scrolled on his phone with his thumb, “Check out the little outfit she was wearing. Seriously, look at her titties in that?”
“She does have some nice titties,” the driver said, peeking over again.
“Oh yes,” he said, admiring the cleavage in the picture, “So you got to...”
“JESUS FUCK LOOK OUT!!!”
The partner screamed way too late to have changed anything. The ambulance had come up and over a small hill, on the other side of which lay the trailer of Gabriel Couture's Semi-truck. The driver of the ambulance's foot didn't even hit the brakes and the ambulance smashed right through the relatively thin outer skin of the top of trailer which, given that it was laying on it's side, was facing them. The wood floor of the trailer on the other side, was supported by steel beams and was therefore much stronger, so when the front of the ambulance struck this, the engine exploded immediately, turning the cab behind it into one huge smoldering fireball.
🎃
Reverend Taylor had just come back down from his bedroom when he heard the explosion. He had gone up earlier to try and force himself to sleep but that had not worked. He used a large box-fan as a sound machine when he slept, and the noise of that had prevented him from hearing the first accident involving Brad’s mustang, the Chumway Brothers, and Gabriel Couture's truck. Now as he looked out of his front windows, through the trees, he could see flames and smoke rising up in the distance.
The Rev went to the little closet beside the front door and pulled out his boots. His house sat in the center of a large lot on the top of the hill. The bluff adjacent to the park—the hillside Kyndra Bailey had fallen down, was to the rear of the property, and the highway, now strewn with smoldering pieces of car parts and bodies like a scene from the Terminator, was about twenty yards from the front of the property.
If it's a bad wreck, someone may be trapped in a car or something, he thought. He went back upstairs to his bedroom and retrieved his cellphone and his shotgun.
For all I know its another stupid prank from some stupid delinquents setting off homemade Molotov cocktails or something in the street.
He checked to see if the gun was loaded with shells...it was.
Better safe than sorry.
🔪
Amos Yoder sat straight up in bed again.
This time his wife wasn't next to him, but she soon appeared in the door way.
“Did you hear that?” Esther asked.
“What was it?” Amos asked, throwing back the quilt and reaching over to pick up his pants.
“Sounded like an automobile accident,” Esther said, wringing her hands. Gideon circled around her legs excitedly. “And you smell that horrible smell? What is that?”
“It's gasoline,” Amos answered, pulling his pants up and tying the ties on the inside. No buttons, the Amish did not believe in buttons.
“What are you going to do?” Esther asked her husband as he moved passed her.
“I guess I'm going to have a look,” he answered, “is it still raining?”
“I think it's pretty much stopped now,” she answered, “put on your thicker shoes though, I'm sure the ground is completely soaked.”
🎃
The monster awoke. It was dark...and Its face burned. Its eyes hurt and It realized that It couldn't open them...Its eyelids felt like they were glued together. It strained Its' face muscles. That brought even more pain, but eventually the eyelids did open a bit. Everything was still dark...and now a little cloudy.
The monster sat up. It knew It was sitting on a hospital gurney. It knew the feeling of it, even if It couldn't actually see it. The monster had been put on many hospital stretchers over the years. But most of the time the monster had been tied down. This time there were no ties.
The monster stood, and Its' head bumped the ceiling. The monster raised Its' hand, bringing pain. To move was painful...every inch of the monster's body was still burning. Only figuratively now—a few hours ago, it had been literally on fire. The monster rain Its' hand over the ceiling, feeling cold steel.
An ambulance. The monster knew. In an ambulance.
The monster could smell something too.
Gasoline.
The monster cocked Its' head to one side.
Could be on me, from the explosion.
The monster didn't think so.
The monster sidled forward, passed the stretcher, seeing the dim outline of the rear doors through blurry vision. Just making out the two rectangles of the door windows.
The monster lifted Its' leg and gave a kick.
BAM!
The doors were stuck tight.
BAM!
BAM!
🔪
Reverend Taylor's head popped up when he heard the noise coming from the back of the ambulance. He was kneeling over a corpse, so badly burned, it was almost unrecognizable as human. He had a dark feeling come over him.
I don't think I wanna know what's in the back of that ambulance for some reason.
He couldn't quite explain it. Maybe it was being saturated with all of the sick news all night and into the morning. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep.
It could have just been nerves.
He slowly stood up.
BAM!
My some miracle, the fire in the cab of the ambulance had extinguished almost immediately, and had not spread to the back. The vehicle had struck the floor of the trailer and bounced backwards, so now the front end sat crushed and smoldering within the trailer and the back lay hanging out in the roadway.
BAM!
To survive a crash like that, the Reverend thought, leveling the shotgun and taking a step toward the back of the ambulance. Can't be human.
BAM!
I should call the police. He thought.
BAM!
He or she could have been tied down back there, maybe survived that way.
Rev didn't think so.
BAM!
Stop it! It's a patient and they're probably hurt. His mind raced. You need to open the door and help them out.
BAM!
Rev didn't think so.
BAM!
BAM!
BAM!
But if you haul off and shoot somebody, people are gonna think you went insane.
Reverend Taylor turned the shotgun around as he came up alongside the ambulance doors. The vehicle was literally shaking on it's axles with every BAM! Rev gripped the barrel.
Just in case, he thought. I can just give em' a whack if they're dangerous.
BAM!
BAM!
BAM!
BAM!
The door broke open.
The Shape staggered out.
The Reverend swung the shotgun.
NEXT>>
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Text
Drunk. Fool. pt.3
ft. Junmyeon
Pic cred: Primavera Peach
Date:200613
Warnings: light dom/sub, sex toys, anal, general explicit language. SMUT. Just be at least 18.
Pairing: Minseok x F.Reader + Junmyeon
WC: 1.9k
NOTE: HOW? Did this end up not being the ending? I dunno, but there is more smut to be had with these, so at least one more chap is coming.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 4
¤¤¤
Minseok didn’t have to spell it out - you knew these elevator doors wouldn’t open to a beautiful restaurant. But neither did you think they would open to this: a brightly lit hallway of an apartment on the 22nd floor with a beautiful man coming to greet you. He smiles with both mouth and eyes, warmly yet reserved and...something else. That type of something that lets you know that you are the main course.
“Precisely on time. Minseok”, he says with a slight bow, making a few strands of his red hair fall into his face.
“Junmyeon.” Minseok tips his head and raises his eyebrows, a gesture to show his appreciation for Junmyeon’s attire; black leather trousers paired with a white shirt embellished with chains and leather details in red and black. It’s definitely on the dramatic side, but it has a flare to it, and it’s an interesting juxtaposition: his serene face with this eye-catching outfit.
This guy has set a scene - and you know Minseok loves it. You can’t be a hundred percent sure, but you think Minseok’s bow was a bit lower. Is it simply because this Junmyeon is older than him, or because he knows what he has planned for you? What ever the reason you’re thoughts are interrupted by Junmyeon’s voice:
“This is her I take it..?”
As he takes a few steps in your direction his energy washes over you. It’s powerful in such a way that you don’t have to “put on” a submissive demeanour; it towers over you making you feel small, compliant, a little scared - and excited. He holds your chin with his thumb and index finger and looks at you. Not being able to hold his gaze you look down, which earns you a tap under the chin.
“Ap,ap.”
You look up again for what seems like an eternity before he turns to Minseok:
“I see what you mean...I’ll be happy to help.”
You may look composed but your mind is racing, trying to decipher what he means; help with what? Sure, you were a brat yesterday, but enough to bring in “outside council”..? Of course it was - you’d pulled him from a meeting. You had pulled your daddy from his fucking job. Shit...SHIT! Freak out-session aside you know this is your own doing, and the only way to get back into Min’s good graces is to be a good girl and bite the bullet.
Junmyeon takes your hand, and leans in, almost brushing your ear with his lips:
“Come with me, you.”
Him purposely not calling you by your name makes you nervous, yet it also sends a seductive tingle through your body, making you eager to follow. You look over your shoulder to see Min following. Good.
Junmyeon escorts you down the hallway, past a kitchen and the living room, through his bedroom into a room in the back - his dungeon. Your eyes widen as you take it all in: there’s a velvet couch running the whole length of the wall to your left and opposite wall has curtains along it. In the middle sits a wooden table with straps, buckles and leather cushioning. To be honest it looks like something you’d see at the medieval museum, so you can’t help but to gasp:
“Oh my-”
Junmyeon moves his hand to grab your upper arm as he turns around to look down at you:
“Only when spoken to”, is all he says. All he needs to say. Minseok has found a real one, as he called these guys. You feel a hand on the small of your back, slowly moving down the curve of your ass - you’d know Min’s touch from a thousand others’.
“Do you wanna start her off?”, Junmyeon asks, rather matter-of-factly.
“No, go ahead, she’s a big girl, she doesn’t need me”, Minseok replies, shooting you a meaning look. “Be good for me, baby. Make daddy proud”, he says and sits down on the couch.
You know that the punishment is what Junmyeon will do, but right now it feels like the lack of Min is a more severe one. In this environment all you needed was that little brush of his hand to make you go from slick to soaked; wanting nothing more than to straddle him, seeing that amused hungry smile from him as he slowly put his fingers inside you and then spread the juices up to your clit and back to your ass, lingering, circling a bit until you had to beg him to press them in.
Junmyeon leads you to the end of the table and softly presses your back for you to bend down, so that you’re upper body is resting on it. He puts his hand on your thigh, through the slit of your dress - a que for you to spread your legs - and pulls up your dress with his right hand. You close your eyes and bite the inside of your cheek, not wanting to give away too much. Minseok’s the one who brought you here, so he’s okay with these things - but to you it feels so good that it’s almost uncomfortably okay.
“Open your eyes”, you hear Minseok’s voice.
You look straight at him, again feeling that hunger for him, but also being okay with him seeing you turned on by someone else. And by the look of him he’s about ready to cut Junmyeon’s party short and ram his cock into your wet pussy. It’s barely noticeable, but a quick squint of his eyes, more like a twitch really, gives it away, as he sees your dress being pulled up.
Junmyeon’s hand slowly makes its way up to your entrance, and his breathing hitches. He bends down and spreads your cheeks to get a better look:
“You’ve got a prime specimen here, Minseok.” He tsks. “Does she always get this wet?”
Minseok smiles at you with pride in his eyes:
“That’s why she’s my baby girl. And if you keep going...” he trails off, making you roll your eyes as you suppress a moan.
Junmyeon makes his way to the right-hand wall and pulls the curtain away to reveal a curated selection of toys and tools ; whips, paddles, chains, masks, ball-gags and whatever else you could think of. This is either going to be very fun or very fun. He picks a collar and starts attaching a chain to it, but then stops and puts a leather lead on it instead; his attention to details is thrilling. He takes a small pouch - one of many - and turns back around. He puts a finger between your neck and the collar when he puts it on you:
“Can you breathe?”
“Yes”, you reply, feeling a bit hoarse from being quiet for so long.
He looks at you with softness and for a second you’re stunned by his beauty.
“I don’t know what a sweet girl like you could’ve done to deserve this, but if your daddy says you do...” he sighs and shakes head and lands a burning spank on your ass.
Being totally unprepared for it you cry out, but manage to bite your tongue midway. Of course that’s not good enough for Junmyeon who yanks the lead with a stern:
“No.”
You curse yourself for not staying silent, and feel embarrassed for Minseok. Not one sound will leave your lips from now on you promise yourself. Junmyeon positions himself behind you again and when you hear Min chuckle you can guess what was brought out of the pouch. You hear a low buzz and immediately after feel it pressing on your entrance; a vibrator, a small one. Junmyeon presses it in slowly - painfully slowly - but not all the way, just a centimeter or so, and brings it out again. Then in again.
“Look at your daddy, sweetheart.”
You turn your head and look at Min, struggling to keep your eyes open from the pleasure. Struggling to not beg him - either of them - to fuck you. You angle your toes inward and arch your back, trying to get more.
��Hm, I don’t think she’s as sweet as I first thought”, Jun says to Min. “She’s a little slut, isn’t she?”. While saying it he moves the vibrator up to your anal, making you twitch and inhale hard with pleasure. Picking up on it, Jun pulls the lead back and increases the speed on the vibrator as he starts pressing it in little by little to stretch you out.
“Fuck…” Minseok sighs “now there’s a sight…”
“You should see it from my angle. Grab the third bag for me, will you?”
Minseok does what Junmyeon asks and before long you feel a dildo filling your ass, moving in and out at a slow pace, and vibrating. You close your eyes and feel Minseok’s hand on your mouth; instinctively you open it and he slips two fingers inside, moving them in the same slow pace as Junmyeon.
“Feel how wet she is now” he says to Junmyeon.
Junmyeon puts his fingers in your pussy, not bothering toying with you and moans:
“She’s a mess, and I’ve barely done anything..!”
“Mm-hmm, she’s like that” Minseok replies, fingers still in your mouth.
“You, do you like your daddy’s fingers that much?”
“Yes”, you shake your head.
“Or is it me and this dildo in your ass..?”
You look at Min, not sure what to answer. Luckily, he bends down and says:
“Just tell him what you like, baby.”
“All of it. Everything”, you moan.
“She’s gonna come soon if you don’t control it.”
“Yeah, I can feel her on my fingers. I’m gonna let her. Make her. Go sit down, watch her”, Junmyeon replies. “Now let’s see how long it takes with just this” he says, pushing the dildo in all the way. You don’t even care that he’s removed his fingers; seeing Minseok so turned on, and the lewd feeling of being bent over with a dildo in your ass more than enough. Junmyeon pulls your leash tighter so your head is upright, and with the same hand grabs the left side of our ass, spreading it to get a better look. He puts the vibrator on full power which sends a jolt through your body, making your pussy almost drip with how wet it is. It doesn’t take long for that familiar electricity to build up when he start setting a faster pace, and you can’t help but to let sounds slip out.
“Are you gonna let your daddy see you come?”
As your legs start to spasm you just about manage to moan a “yes”, and you hear Min grunt. When your orgasm comes Junmyeon grabs your pelvic bone to hold you down and pumps the dildo with relentless speed, making you whine and moan an endless slew of “fuck”, “oh”.
When your sounds trail off Junmyeon relaxes the lead to let you rest your head and slowly removes the dildo.
“Come here” he says, pulling you up on your shaky legs “go lie down for a second, we’re gonna go have a drink.” Your initial excitement fades when he continues “I’ll bring you some water. There’s a bathroom right outside if you want to freshen up. Don’t go anywhere else.”
Just as you sit down Minseok stands up:
“You did good, baby”, he says stroking your head. “And since you know each other now I’ll let Junmyeon have you all to himself from now on.”
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