#she ra synopsis

[etheriadearie]

Endgame: a meta emotional exploration of how SPOP's perfect ending relies on no miracles

So, we pick up our story where we left off; Shadow Weaver is dead, having given Catra her chance to save Adora... and to save their love. One final monumental task lies ahead of them, which will determine the fate of the universe...

Adora's final burden weighs heavy, too heavy, and she is sick. Sick in her body from Horde Prime's virus, but also sick in her soul. Years of believing that she must carry the world's burdens that seem to get ever heavier and injurious have left her weary and predicting her own failure. This final task seems all but assured to destroy Adora, as the cruelty which is the universe keeps on telling her that she alone is the hero, and must do what must be done, never mind the consequences to her own life. And Horde Prime has her, his final cruelty is invading her body and weakening her at a time when she needs to be strong... stronger than she has ever been before.

But Catra is here, her beautiful friend who she loves and yearns for. Things are bad, but at least they're together... she looks over at Catra as she carries Adora towards the Heart, seeing a look of total focus and determination. This look is intense, it is Catra's everlasting determination to care for and support her friend, no matter how sick she may be, or how dangerous her final task.

It's a look that Adora has seen before; someone so intensely caring for her above all other things. It happened to her before when Angella bravely flew up to remove the sword from the portal, to protect her. And this isn't the first time Catra has shown this look of care for Adora. But this look is well known to Catra... as we've seen this look before: from the people who cared for Catra during her darkest hours...

This world was cruel to Catra, more so than anyone else in this story. She was always singled out for hurt, her torture both physical and mental, nothing ever seemed to go her way, nobody ever seemed to see her pain. Darkness has chased Catra her entire life, wanting to swallow her up, vanish her into its silent oblivion. And yet, in that darkness, the light still shone down on her. As alone as she ever felt, as misunderstood as she thought she'd always be, those few who cared for her saw her pain, and took care of her. Maybe they couldn't understand why she hurt so bad, lashing out at them in response to their caring for her... and why she always hid the pain, unwilling to acknowledge it, never discussing where the hurt was. But they saw nonetheless, and so they cared for her.

I am, of course, speaking of her two dearest friends... Scorpia and Adora.

TW: discussions of call of the void, and implied discussion of the "s" word and "s" missions etc.

Both of them have shown this exact emotion of care for Catra: Scorpia, at the end of White Out, picks Catra up to carry her to safety, having just watched her friend nearly give up her life because she was so desperate to not lose Adora again. Scorpia decided then that she wouldn't let the darkness swallow Catra up, even though her friend seemed to care not if she had died that day.

And then, again, inside the portal dimension, a reality created by Catra when she pulled the switch, desperate to the point of mentally broken from all of the abuse and heartbreak she had suffered, as the world collapsed around them Adora refused to leave Catra behind. In a moment of ironic payback, Adora picks up a stun rod and shocks a disbelieving Catra: we see Adora first carry her unconscious form with worry and care, and then with unrelenting determination she pilots the skiff, outrunning the burning darkness of the collapsing reality which Catra was so determined to stay in, to die peacefully in its embrace.

And so now the time has come for Catra to pay it all back, to give her best and truest heart in protecting and supporting Adora, the love of her life, and her salvation. Catra knows Adora is hurting, and that the darkness of the void is near. Catra knows what Adora is feeling because Catra has gotten to know that darkness intimately... it has been with her all of her life, especially close these last few years when she thought she had lost Adora forever. She knows the signs well... and she sees it in Adora.

This darkness that chases Adora is a monstrous thing, and it has Adora firmly wrapped in its grip. The abuses of their traitorous stepmother still weigh heavily on Adora, she's never been able to get free of the hurt that Shadow Weaver poisoned her with, it is ever with her, consuming her self belief and destroying her hopes. And Horde Prime's virus infects her, along with his taunting words of her unworthiness as a hero who's destined to fail. But Catra is here, she sees Adora's pain and she's prepared to give her heart and her soul to help Adora overcome it.

Catra doesn't yet know how she can help her friend, her dearest love, with this. She just knows that it's the right thing to do, and somehow, someway, it's her that can help Adora overcome. Catra may have had to fight hard to help Adora be free from Shadow Weaver’s intentions to sacrifice her, but her work is not yet done: Shadow Weaver, in her final moment, told Catra that she is the key to Adora being strong enough to survive the Heart.

It was a gift won out of her determination to face ‘destiny' down and not let it take Adora from her, to call out the darkness that was Shadow Weaver’s manipulations of the two of them, done to give their selfish and abusive parent more power at the cost of the girls' lives. So now, as Catra carries Adora to the heart, she is decided: she will stay with her, and find a way to save her, or die trying. Just like how Adora and Scorpia were unwilling to let Catra be swallowed up by the darkness when she was living without hope, Catra will do the same for Adora, no matter what it takes, no matter how heavy the burden placed on Adora may be. Catra will find the strength to lift that burden and save her, because Adora cannot do this alone... the pain and fear Adora feels is too great for her to overcome alone.

Adora smiles fondly at Catra, who breaks her furious determination to smile back. Adora is so happy that Catra came for her, that she got to see her again. Catra cocks a conspiratorial smile, she's happy, too.

They are momentarily overcome with surprise, seeing that they've reached the Heart. Here they stand, together, at the end of the world... they share a smile, as this is how it should be. Adora stands free of Catra, looking to her in thanks, and trying to will herself into confidence. It takes a moment for Catra to drop her worried look, she knows Adora is still in danger. But she smiles back, wanting to encourage Adora by letting her know that she believes in her. Adora focuses, shows her determination. All that separates her from success and redemption is one final transformation as She-ra... and she is determined to succeed. It is her duty, and fate, she has continued to believe, has brought her here. It was always going to come down to her and this moment, to stop Prime and end the war. She tries to summon the sword...

... Disaster. She can't overcome the virus, as she focuses her magical power, it just opens her up to attack and the virus spreads further into her body. Adora realizes she can't do it, all of her fears are true. She's just a lonely girl, inconsequential and caught up in a heroic destiny she was never worthy of. Adora has always believed her burdens would be the end of her, many times she felt she stood at death's doorstep, and this time is no different... cruelty became a fact of life for her. She screams out in pain as the sickness invades her further, and Catra grabs ahold of her, trying to understand what is wrong, so she can help her.

Adora looks at Catra, she knows she can't hide this from her. She tells her she can't transform, tears forming in her eyes. Things are bad, like she feared they would be. Adora sinks into the belief that she is no hero, it's been a lie all along. She's a fake, getting the sword must have been a mistake after all, a perversion of the First Ones bringing her to Etheria to be their weapon. And she can't even become She-ra... Horde Prime has taken that from her.

As virus spreads into the heart chamber, Catra looks up at it in realization... time is short. Prime is moments from taking everything away from them... she looks on as Adora tells her the full truth: she can't become She-ra because of Prime's virus. Dismayed, Catra tries to understand. She asks if the failsafe won't work without She-ra. Adora looks grim, not meeting Catra's eyes...

Catra sees Adora go inward, shutting her eyes, accepting her dark fate. Catra sees this and understands: Adora is accepting her death, and the void that now calls to her. Her face shows weariness and resignation, Catra knows these feelings well and she's fearful for Adora.

Adora centers her belief long enough to summon the failsafe. She can still do one last good thing for everyone, and fulfill her duty as she dies. She's so tired... it's been a long and exhausting journey ever since that moment when she decided to seek out the sword, leaving her dearest Catra behind in doing so... she didn't realize it would all end like this, with such... finality. A history, and a fate, from which she could not escape. Mara's kind words speak to her, to believe in love, and to not give up, as well as Catra's, asking her to dream of their future... but they are not enough. Her burden is too great, the hour is too late, and Horde Prime is too cruel for her to surpass... so she will do what is needed so that everyone else can keep going without her. She can't let the universe be end like this, it would be amoral for her not to sacrifice herself, after all... She looks to Catra and tells her: "No. It'll work." She doesn't need to live through it for the failsafe to deploy... then everyone is safe and she can finally... rest. She puts on a determined face for Catra... this is how it's got to be, she won't fail now. She tells Catra to leave her to her final task, her solitary burden she unwittingly accepted when she took the sword. Catra shouldn't have to pay this burden as well, and she hopes against hope that Catra will find a way to live on without her.

Catra looks on as Adora does this. She is crestfallen, and knows Adora is telling her that she will die. Catra can't just let Adora accept this... it's not fair for her to just stop living without ever having begun in the first place. She challenges Adora instead... "Adora... what is going to happen to you?" She needs Adora to say it, so she will see it too. So she can see just how unfair this is...

Catra faced down death, refusing to die so many times, just to get to this point. And Adora needs to understand how important it is to fight against those who would kill you as she did. It was never a choice for Catra, death was always near, starting that day they strayed into Shadow Weaver's chambers, and if she hadn't had the will to fight, to desire her life and her own worth, death would have swallowed her up long ago. In those times when she hurt so bad, and death felt so near, all that Catra could do was to scream back with fury and defiance at that void, her anger willing herself to find a way to keep on living just a little bit longer. Even when she knew she had lost all hope, she refused to quit and let that void win, as that felt too wrong to bear... and so she persisted, no matter how she could. At times, even she has faltered... nearly giving in, but it kills her most of all to see Adora so close to give up, now.

So, how? How can she convince Adora to fight with all of her worth, to refuse to give in, when Adora is so decided in her mind that she is destined to die?

Adora walks away, afraid of what Catra is telling her, because she doesn't see a way to make Catra's belief real. She's so... weary... and so alone. She's glad Catra came back so she could see her again... but this is her end. She's She-ra, and this is the way it's got to be. She turns back to her, telling her she's sorry, her eyes brimming with tears, she's so full of remorse and hurt that she can't be with Catra, she knows she's failing her... again, like she did so many times before. Catra is so beautiful to her, she always has been, and she really is all she's ever wanted... but it's too late.

She tells her that they are out of time, and now she must do what has to be done, she will save everyone in this one, final, selfless act, her payment in trade for being the supposed hero that she is. She walks forward and cradles Catra's head in her hands, pulling her forehead gently to hers... one final act of affection... but not a kiss. A kiss would be too cruel, as she knows she must leave Catra now... so she pulls her hands away from Catra, and she tells her that she is ready to die, she is very brave...

… As Adora tells her she must die, Catra has gone... elsewhere. Her eyes are not seeing, no, her mind is inward, racing, searching for a way to keep Adora from dying. She cannot believe this can be Adora's end. How can this be it? Shadow Weaver told her in her final act that there is a way, and the one thing Shadow Weaver was good for was her knowledge... she's just got to find it to help Adora, find the way to strengthen Adora's belief, to undo all of the hurt and manipulations that Shadow Weaver, the First Ones, and Horde Prime put into Adora, making her believe she must die... but she just, can't see it…

She's still in this daze of concentration when she feels Adora's hands gently touch her cheeks, caressing them affectionately, pulling her head to hers. Adora looks... so exhausted, and saddened. Catra's eyes flare in surprise at Adora's touch, she didn't even notice she had walked over to her, this is all happening too fast! And Adora will slip away from her if she fails in this moment, she knows that. As Adora tells her she's ready to die, then pulls her hands away, she knows this isn't right. She grabs them, clutching them tightly as she looks Adora in the eyes, showing her determination to not give up. It isn't right for Adora to have to die like this! And if Adora can't see that, she's got to find a way to make her. So she tells Adora she won't leave, and declares her decree of love instead, it's all she can do is stay with her, to find more time to rescue the love of her life.

"No... No. I'm not leaving. No matter what happens, I'm staying with you!"

Adora cries out mournfully as Catra refuses her plea to leave her... she knows Catra is choosing to stay with her, because she doesn't want to live without her. And this means she is choosing to die as well... as Adora knows she's not strong enough to do this right, she's only a failed hero. But she knows it's Catra's choice to do this, and she understands that Catra is being brave... Adora turns to face the heart once more, trying to be brave as well.

As Adora turns and faces her burden, Catra stands closely with her. She wants so badly to love Adora, and protect her, so she reaches out and puts her hands on Adora's shoulders as a token of protection, to let Adora know that she has her, and supports her. Adora is the most important thing Catra has ever known, and her love for her is unending.

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Catra got so scared, back when Adora left her... scared that Adora had become a foolish, self involved girl lost to the naive idea that she had some special importance as a destined hero, who was never going to stop to think deeply about what was really going on around her. She didn't seem to see Catra's love, her romantic desire... instead chasing the imaginary standards Shadow Weaver and other's laid out for her, but those were merely manipations meant to use her, nothing like Catra’s love. But that's all done now, Catra has seen Adora's strength, her generous spirit and her heroic determination to always make things better, she'll never leave her again. Catra watched on as Adora was always an open book, so earnest to please others, and because of that, Catra knows she has been hurt. Catra knew better than Adora, she knew to fight against such hurtful people, but Adora just wanted to be loved... yet she didn't understand what love was, and has always felt scared and lonely because of it. She is delicate, and innocent, even now, after all of her battles and growth as the legendary warrior known as She-ra.

Catra knows all of this about Adora, because she was there all along, loving her. And because of that she's always known Adora best... even back when she fought against her, full of anger that Catra had to feel weak from love... she knew she was lying to herself about Adora. Adora isn't perfect, but she's the best person Catra has ever known, and she deserves so much love... giving her that is all Catra has ever wanted, but even now, Adora, she doesn't see it...

As Catra stands beside her, Adora's mind is lost, feeling the totality of her aloneness, as a supposed hero of fate. Even though Catra is by her side, now, she still can't believe love is really possible, for her anyways. Her whole life has been one long and difficult journey of responsibilities and danger. She has to come through now, or her life will be meaningless. But she feels so... ill... and so... tired... and so totally alone. How can she possibly succeed in this dangerous task, when she feels so weary? And Catra stands at her shoulder, daring the danger to take her down as well. The burden of it is too much... Adora feels her eyelids slipping, and then her body, she feels weak... she cries out as she doubles over in sickness and pain.

Catra looks on in desperation as Adora does this, Adora is dying right before her very eyes. She's feeling lost and alone, and she's giving up... just like Catra feared she might. Adora clutches at her heart, and at the failsafe... her final, cruel mission. The virus is invading it, trying to corrupt the failsafe and stop to Adora's heart as well. Adora slips out of her hands, Catra watches on in horror as Adora collapses to the ground... it was so fast! Catra didn't even have time to catch her fall! Horde Prime's final cruelty has Adora, Catra rolls her over so she can get a better look at what's happening...

The failsafe doesn't look right, and Adora's eyes are closed in agony from it. Catra watches the virus invade Adora further, spreading across her face and body. She reaches out and holds Adora, trying to comfort her, full of concern and sadness. This is agony, and its killing her. And Catra still can't see how she can help Adora, so she holds her as lovingly as she can instead, crying out against the unfairness of it. No! This can't be it! She needs Adora to hold on, but her eyes are sealed shut from all of the pain she's in…

A strange, eerie noise echoes into the chamber, and Catra looks up with dread at the heart... Horde Prime's corruption advances further and the strange green energy jumps down from the ceiling and hits the heart directly... Catra knows this is a sign that worse is about to come…

Adora looks, too, finding enough strength through her pain to crack her eyelids so that she can see. Things are bad, and their time is up…

-

::Horde Prime cackles cruelly as his plan is nearly completed... he is hacking the Heart directly now, and is mere moments from being able to direct that energy, either at his enemies, or at the universe itself. He's a sick man, and it immediately becomes bitterly obvious: Horde Prime wants to end... it. All of it. Everyone's story coming to an end, the finality as his "perfect dominion." The universe will end with Horde Prime...

But little does he know, Hordak has found his inner will through his love for Entrapta, allowing him to resist Horde Prime's memory wipes and mind control. As Hordak looks down at Entrapta along his charged weapon, he can't hurt her. She is too precious to him, so instead, as he searches his feelings, he finds... defiance.

He attacks his so called god, breaking Horde Prime's connection to the heart temporarily... love, it seems, has stalled things just a bit longer for our girls...

-

Adora comes to in Catra's arms. Did she black out? She's not sure... Horde Prime's virus is inside the Heart now, and everything is pain. She feels so... weak, and tired... as if breathing alone is asking too much of her body, that most basic requirement of life. Catra is telling her to stay awake, she looks up and sees Catra's concerned face, but then she sees the heart... Catra looks, too. It has become corrupted, like Adora's own failing body, she's failed, its all too much, and she is far too weak...

She waits for Catra to meet her gaze, her eyes full of sorrow... all she can do now is to tell Catra she's sorry, that she couldn't save her life, couldn't even do that, let alone love her like she wants...

Catra puts her hand to her cheek, it feels warm, good. Adora summons enough strength to lift her hand to hold Catra's hand to her cheek, to savior this last intimate touch... but it doesn't last, she's too... weak... she accepts her failure, her inadequacy. She couldn't even die right, to save everyone and the universe, in the end. And Catra... she manages one last weak gaze back at Catra, as she feels her heart slowing... it will stop... just... in a moment... she sees Catra cry out her name, tears streaming from her eyes, longingly for her, telling her to not die... to not leave her... but Adora feels herself slipping away... Catra clutches her body to hers, but all that is left for Adora to do now, is to die in the embrace of the only person she's ever truly loved... with one last look at the corrupted heart, she accepts that it wasn't enough, she's too tired... she can't fight it any longer... her eyes slowly slip closed...

As Adora is weakening to the point of passing out, Catra is struggling against the idea that Adora could end so... quietly. She knows there has to be more to this moment, some way for Adora to win, she's supposed to be the hero... it shouldn't end like this. There's been so much cruelty, all of their lives, so many people hurting them, wanting them to fail. But, she's got Adora now, she's holding her dying body in her very arms. She had to fight down Shadow Weaver to have this moment, but not without cost. Too much time passed, and Adora's sickness is too far advanced. Prime has her, and Catra can feel the last sparks of life leaving Adora's body. Adora looks at her, she tells her she's sorry. Catra reaches out to hold her cheek lovingly, she doesn't know what else to do, so she comforts her. Adora's eye close, needing her loving touch... then they open, Catra watches as Adora remembers her burden. Adora is being consumed by the thoughts of her failure, that she didn't even manage to do the one thing she came here to do, to stop the heart. Catra sees Adora's gaze weakening, but she looks to her one last time...

Catra feels Adora's body becoming quiet, her heart is failing her. Adora can't die now, it's just too cruel! So she begs Adora to fight instead, mournfully calling her name as her eyes are slipping shut. She clutches Adora against her body, hoping the pressure can sustain her, that it will make her love flow into Adora. And that maybe, somehow, that love will heal her, and give her the strength to live. But she knows Adora is about to die, and she still hasn't figured out what the key is, what she’s supposed to do to convince Adora to stay...

As Adora's eyes slip shut, Catra is lost and confused, she's lost on what she's supposed to do to help Adora face this final task, and so Catra does the only thing she can. She holds all of the love she has for Adora in her heart, all the words and gentle touches, the most intimate feelings she should have told to Adora. These feelings are Catra's dreams of their love, her hidden desire she was so afraid to show, the weakness and need she feels when she looks at Adora. She got caught up, waiting for Adora to give her a sign that she felt the same, so she wouldn't have to bear all of those feelings to Adora with no garentee of them being returned. But, they've run out of time, and as she clutches Adora against her body, whispering her name and crying for her, she knows it is probably too late for them, now. Still, she dreams, holding all of her love for Adora inside her heart, this love is as wide as an ocean, stretching to every horizon…

All of her life, Catra has had the most beautiful dreams of them being together. Even when she was so angry and fought against Adora, she still couldn't escape her dreams, her desire for her. She tried not to... it hurt to think of how it seemed that she'd never have her. And now, Adora is finally in her arms, but she's dying. Dying when she should be living, living so that Catra can show her all of her love. As time counts down, and Adora weakens towards unconsciousness in her arms, Catra wishes for time enough to show Adora her most beautiful feelings. It is her torrid desire, to share every last moment with Adora, and to romance her dearest Adora with her splendid love. Catra wishes her desire couple wrap Adora up inside it to protect her, she's searching for a way to reach Adora with her love.

Little does she know, Etheria is about to answer her call… it will help her show Adora the meaning of what it is to be loved...

Adora's eyes startle open. Confused, she feels warm and comfortable, seeing the waterfall in Brightmoon splashing down before her.

She feels safe here, the feeling is jarring considering that she was certain she had just accepted her finality, her death. It's embrace was where she felt like she had to go, to finally be at peace. And yet, instead... she's seeing... her own reflection? She's... home, in Bright Moon? And she looks... different. She's beautiful... delicate, and vulnerable. Every bit of the elegant dress she wears is gorgeous, it suits her, the gold trim complements her skin tone and her hair. Adora has never thought of herself as beautiful in this way, so tender and warm, the idea of it is foreign to her, there's always only been duty and responsibility. She remembers she was trying to uphold these as her eyes were slipping shut, towards everlasting slumber.

Yet here she is, somehow…

The door creaks behind her, and she turns to see her dearest love, Catra, come into the room, being chased by a determined Glimmer. Catra flows towards her, every bit of her movement is graceful and elegant. Catra is wearing beautiful, golden shoes, they match the trim on her own dress... which is strange, she knows Catra was always cautious, keeping the claws on her feet ready so she could spring from danger. Catra is laughing, it's so beautiful when she laughs. Her hair is different too, it's longer, like hers is, and yet, also different than when she was with the Horde. A white and gold jacket flows from her shoulder clasps, her outfit goes with Adora's beautiful dress exquisitely. She's so happy, as though she's without a care, as if the only thing that exists is this beautiful, soft moment, all of the cruelty and harshness of the world has washed away, and reality is blissful... like a dream.

Adora looks on in confusion as Catra runs at her with Glimmer in hot pursuit. Glimmer wants to brush Catra's beautiful, bushy hair, but Catra's not having it. Catra darts around Adora playfully, using her body as a shield against Glimmer, softly caressing Adora's skin as she does. Frustrated by Catra's antics, Glimmer abandons the chase, accusing Catra of being dramatic. Yeah, she's right, that's so Catra. Adora can feel Catra resting her hands on her shoulders with gentle possessiveness... but it also makes her feel protected, a moment that feels somehow… familiar. Catra's touch is so real... yet how can that be? She was dying, she was sure of it. But instead, Catra is here, and so is Glimmer. Bow walks in, saying they're late for Scorpia's first ball. Ah, so that's what this is! They're going to a ball, and this must be, the future? Or perhaps the present? Perhaps she simply forgot-?

After Glimmer tells Catra she's off the hook, she joins Bow, and they hold each other like lovers. Catra still stands at her shoulder, her hands gently resting on her skin, they could be lovers, too. It feels so real, she’s certain she can even feel Catra's warm breath on her neck, her cool nails against her skin as she possessively clings to her. Catra seems so... Catra... it all feels so... real. Even Catra's little rebellion, that's so like her, she's always loved Catra's little quirks. Adora watches as Bow and Glimmer turn to leave, and then Catra walks forward. She turns on heel to face Adora, graceful, like a dancer, and offers her hand to Adora, asking if she's ready to go. It's so beautiful... Catra is a great dancer, she remembers that, from way back when at Princess Prom. She was trying so hard not to let Catra distract her, but she was too beautiful... ugh she's such an idiot around Catra.

As Catra tries to face her, there's so much warmth here, and so much peace. Here Catra stands before her, holding out her hand to her, love radiating from her face. It makes her feel so safe, surrounded by her home, with Catra finally here with her, looking at her like this, loving her like this. Catra is so beautiful in her outfit, it's so stylish yet matching to her own dress, leave it to Catra to have immaculate taste. Adora looks down at Catra's hand, her eyes trailing over to where Catra is wearing her pin... does that mean that they are together? Like, really together? The idea of it is so wonderful, and she wants it so very much, they're going to dance again, and not as enemies this time! Adora gives in, this love she feels coming from Catra is too real, too pure to not be true. She feels joyous, and ready to experience the beauty of it all... this must be real, and she was just feeling... confused. She wasn't dying, that's absurd, that was nothing but a bad dream, a strange nightmare that she had to wake up from eventually. She loves Catra so much, she finds herself reaching out lovingly, ready to take her hand, to enjoy a night of dancing and romance with her dearest love, not a care weighing down her ever weary soul...

Tragically... cruelly, her hand passes right through Catra's, as though it were just a figment. With dismay, she notices the glitching in the simulation... she understands now, and sorrow floods across her face... it wasn't real... of course not. She was so sure it was real... Catra's love felt so real... but it was not. It's all cruelty now, as instead Horde Prime stands before her, the dream ripped away from her, while he mocks her. His cruelty cannot be escaped, it was foolish of her to allow herself to dream in the first place, she's just an unworthy hero, failing in her last, unselfish act, of wanting to accept all of the burdens onto herself so that everyone else could be protected from the cruelty of this ancient war... Prime has her now...

He crushes the last of the dream, corrupts the vision as it crumbles into sickening green. She's helpless, completely alone against cruelty as he shackles her, she cries out in pain as the virus returns to invade her mind, hurting her again... everything is going green... the color of Horde Prime's corruption... the color of his unfeeling clones, and now, of the corrupted Heart. She feels as if she's adrift in space, the dream reality that was the simulation is all but gone now, only fragments of code remain, fading into green... as the world closes into green around her, Adora wishes it had been real... don't leave me, Catra, I need you... I always needed you... please...

Adora feels as though she's gently falling... down... down... away... towards her end, towards final oblivion, for her... and the universe... she has failed…

::NOTE: We're now switching to Catra’s point of view during the dream, it may seem repetitive however this is to explain her role in that dream. She's there alongside Adora (to a point). META HERE.

Catra is still clutching Adora’s dying body to her own when she feels the dream begin. She finds her vision being drawn away, from reality, to where Adora is in her dream, as Etheria draws from her ocean of love to create a perfect vision of her love for Adora. Enthralled, Catra watches the beautiful Adora before her, in her white dress with gold trim…

It feels odd at first for Catra, because what she's seeing is a vision that's of dissociation, as though she's watching apart from her body, and at first she doesn't understand. She's still clutching Adora's still body in her arms, and yet... if they were but moments from death in the Heart Chamber, why is she seeing this now, instead? Still, she can sense the presence of Etheria’s magic here, like she's felt before… and then she begins to understand- while she didn't intend to let the magic take from her feelings to make this beautiful dream, because Etheria’s magic has become so natural to her, she had subconsciously let it. And because of this, the dream is perfect, exactly of Catra's truest and deepest feelings. Etheria is doing this for Adora- but it's with her help.

As she's watching Catra realizes that this dream is has been made to be the perfect antidote to Adora’s traumatized mind. The way Etheria’s magic choose to put Adora in the place she feels safest, Brightmoon. The way Glimmer and Bow are there, and as lovers. The way her dream self gently touches Adora’s shoulders with gentle but possessive love, trying to sooth her and make her feel how she's wanted. This dream version of herself is exactly honest to how Catra always wanted to act around Adora, but with the violence that surrounded their lives, and then the war which divided them, it was something she never felt safe doing. Yet now, as the world stands on the edge of annihilation, Catra’s heart is wide open, she's ready to give her truest and most earnest self.

Catra never really made a conscious decision to stop fighting Etheria's magic to instead harmonize with it, it convinced her over time that it was always on her side. Unlike Shadow Weaver's magic, which was always cruel and controlling, Etheria's magic soothed her, it felt natural, and kind. And Etheria’s magic has helped Catra many times, such as the first time encountered its presence when she and Adora were inside the Crystal Castle during Promise. Back then she hardly knew what was happening, yet she knew that magic was whispering to her, telling her she was right to feel that Adora endangered her life with her naive need to serve others expectations, and that she needed to wait until Adora learned from her naive mistakes before she could return her love again. But those times are gone, Adora has learned now, she's the closest thing to a hero Catra has ever seen, and she's so close to becoming a great hero. Now, at this crucial moment, Etheria's magic needed her help, and so Catra finds herself sharing the love in her heart with it, so that they can show Adora this beautiful dream, together... to save her...

With silent approval Catra watches her dream self gently cling to Adora’s shoulders, coveting her as precious- Adora is her treasure, after all. She knows this touch is calming Adora, even as Adora still rebels from the dream, knowing that she was dying moments ago.

Lovingly, Catra wishes for Adora to stop being so suddenly smart. For once in your life, abandon your anxiety and stop fighting this feeling, Adora, because this is how I love you. This is how I will treasure and protect you, and I will always be with you. But you have to be strong enough to choose my love, like I have chosen love. I will never doubt love again, and I will never leave you again, but I need you to hang on, and I need you to wake up!

Catra watches as Adora is getting closer to accepting her love, yet still hesitates, doubting it can be real. She knows it's going to take something much grander to convince Adora- and then, Catra watches as her dream self beautifully turns on heel to offer her hand to Adora: offering her the chance to dance again, this time with love in their hearts. It's a waking dream that has been one of Catra’s most earnest and constant daydreams- to get to dance with Adora again, like they did at Princess Prom- but as lovers, not enemies. Etheria's magic has taken this waking dream and so beautifully expressed it that she sees Adora’s worry finally fade away, being replaced with a look of wonder, and then watches as Adora looks to the pin on her jacket. See? We're to be married! My love is true, you have to believe me!

As Adora abandons doubt and gives into the beauty of it, Catra knows she is hers to save, if Adora only takes her hand now, she will wake knowing what it means to be loved…

But then, just like Adora, Catra sees the glitch as Adora’s hand passes through her own. Her heart sinks, as Prime materializes, her connection to Adora temporarily disrupted. Angrily Catra realizes that Prime had been waiting for the best moment to interrupt the dream and shatter Adora’s hopes. Prime will never let Adora take her hand, because he knows that could save her.

As he taunts Adora, he's taunting her, too. To show Catra how distant she is, and powerless, that she can't reach Adora through the reality he's imposing on her to torture her, sinking her into his void, where she will fall towards oblivion, towards death. It's disgustingly condescending- he wants to make her feel helpless…

Instead, Catra feels cold anger inside her, it's giving her focus, and she refuses to give up. We were so close, she thinks, and as devious as Prime is, she knows that he’s not perfect. With this new found focus she searches for a way to reach Adora and wrest her from Prime's control, wracking her mind, feeling out a way to her. Then she finds it- it's like a path of green, as if a string of fate, connecting herself and Adora.

It's Prime’s virus- she and Adora are bound by this thin line of green code- the virus which is in both their bodies. Catra quickly realizes that Prime has made a mistake by infecting her, too, as the virus doesn't hurt her the way it does Adora. And this code, this string, this connection, it's something she can control, it gives her a way in to where he's trapped her. She can backhack the connection, much like she did before with the chip in her neck to spy on him and his plans for Etheria when she was on Darla after Adora had saved her.

As Catra follows that string of fate towards Adora, she's still conscious of Adora’s dying body in her arms. Simultaneously in both worlds, this gives Catra the way to open the door back to reality for Adora- but Adora will have to fight her way free, Catra can't make that choice for her. It takes her only a moment to find her, and then she calls out Adora’s name, reaching down to her, as the bridge back to reality, and the way out of Prime’s prison…

... Adora is sinking down, down into Prime’s oblivion. Tears from her eyes trail upwards, just as though she were truly falling downward. It really… wasn't enough, she thinks. I've never had a chance, to escape this cruel fate that was thrust on me since before I could even remember. Nobody can help me now, I am alone… as it has always been.

“Adora!” Her eyes snap open as she hears her name being called, by… Catra?? But how... and yet, there Catra is above her, wreathed in the light of a doorway, the door out of her prison, back towards living, back towards reality.

“Adora, please- you have to wake up!” Wake up? Am I sleeping? I can think… so that would mean I'm conscious, right? But the pain, oh this pain- Horde Prime’s pain. She was so sure she was dying, and it's too confusing to her that Catra is here, now. It isn't enough, she can't accept it… her arms feel heavy, paralyzed, she cannot move. And yet… she does want to move very badly... her heart is waking up... at the sight of Catra... it wants... to get back... to Catra...

As Catra sees the fear in Adora’s eyes, she knows that Adora is doubting, now, more than she has ever before. Catra understands- I must make every word count, or she'll fall beyond my reach, gone forever. Still, she hasn't found the key that will save Adora, so instead she does the only thing she can- she lets her heart speak for her, abandoning any self conscious thoughts that might have stopped her in the past as she does so.

Every word that Catra speaks then rings down on Adora as the greatest truths she's ever spoken- “You can't give up. You've never given up on anything in your life, not even on me.” Meanwhile, outside the dream, she clutches Adora closer.

Despite her lingering doubt, Adora’s senses are now wide open- seeing, hearing Catra, yearning to understand her words. Still, she can't move… and even if she could reach, it won't be enough, Adora thinks. Adora sees the look in Catra’s eyes shift to one of determination and command. “So don't you dare start now!” Catra reaches further for her, her hand is now demanding that Adora to reach for it. It's enough for Adora to be able to tap into her unrealized reserves of strength and push past the pain. She exerts her entire body in one motion as she reaches for Catra- it works- her arms finally come free as the shackles on her body break, but still she feels weak. Her hand is far too short of Catra’s, as she suspected it would be. Mournfully, she calls out “It’s too late. I've failed.” The tears well up in her eyes, all of her doubts from a lifetime of being hurt and having unfair burdens thrust on her reverberate in those small, scared words…

As Catra hears the mournfulness in Adora’s words, her blood chills like ice, she can't let Adora give up now. Heart racing, Catra finds herself desperately calling back “No, no!” Again, she wracks her mind further…I need more, I must say more…

All of the hurt, the abuse Shadow Weaver inflicted on us… our meager, pitiful melancholy lives, it's so close to ending... We are so close to the start of a life where we can be free. “I've got you. I'm not letting go.” That's all Catra can think to say, as back in reality, Catra hugs Adora’s unconscious body hard, knowing that she can't feel her loving embrace. I have to give you more, I'll give everything for you! How do I give you more-?

Adora finds herself struggling to reach father for Catra when she hears Catra’s truest words, telling her that she's got her. She can tell their hands are a bit closer now, the sound of yearning in Catra’s voice having unlocked something in Adora, as for the first time in her life, she feels as though perhaps she's not so alone, and maybe, just maybe, Catra might know how she feels… so that she won't have to be so alone anymore.

Their fingers are so close, Adora can taste the distance between them, and she yearns to hear Catra's next, most truest words. Words she does not yet know that she yearns to hear... yet her heart has always wanted. It has always asked to hear Catra's next, most truest words... breathlessly she awaits, and then... Catra speaks those very words...

“Don't you get it? I LOVE you.”

Love… like the idiot she is, Adora didn't see this coming, yet her heart did, having wished for it all this time... and that word strikes her like lightning, energizing her. She feels enlivened by it, it's as though electricity is crawling over every inch of her skin. In this moment, Adora’s consciousness is suddenly fully present, her doubts gone... she's yearning to know more of what Catra means with that word, love. What it love, what does she mean? As her best friend? As a... lover? I have to know more, I want to stay a bit longer… so I can hear what she means!

“.... I always have.” ... Another jolt of electricity, waking her heart up inside: it confirms that Adora’s hopes were right, Catra does know how she feels. She's not alone… she never has been… Catra is with her, she’s got her…

“So please, just this once- stay!” Again, a jolt of energy, as again Adora finds herself being commanded. Being told to no longer be alone- the love of her life is right there, demanding that she stay long enough to know love... demanding that she live. Demanding that she'll never be alone again, with Catra always by her side…

Love unburdens Adora- the single act of Catra’s understanding, frees her. The weight of doubt holding her down is suddenly gone, as if it never existed. To her previous struggle, there is no struggle, and there is no distance between them- that's how effortlessly Adora finds her hand reaching the final distance to Catra’s. Just as Catra’s does, too- she, too, is unburdened by love. Their palms touch, their fingers interlace, the bridge is finally secure. Through their connection Adora can feel Catra’s warmth rushing into her body, awakening her, bringing her back to reality. Yet as it does, Adora finds her vision goes dark… as it must be, so that she can wake back into consciousness… out of the dream, and back to reality…

Now waking back into her body, Adora can sense the peril of the heart, and how hopelessly Catra clings her body to her own to shield her from it, to give her just a few more seconds to live. It won't be enough, she can tell that the heart is about to lash out at them both. She hears Catra repeating again in a desperate whisper- “please, stay" realizing that Catra doesn't yet know she's back. Or how the Heart is about to arc out and silence them both, forever. Calmly Adora find herself thinking- No- it's my turn to protect you. She summons her shield, grounding the charge and absorbing the Heart’s energy, temporarily quieting it, giving her a time enough to speak to her dearest love….

As she looks up into Catra’s stunned eyes, she can tell that Catra is in disbelief that she's come back to life, which is really cute, but there's no time for that, now. She has to know what Catra meant, when she said she loved her… “You love me-?”

“...You're such an idiot” Catra says with relief as Catra finally knows that she's got Adora, she's back, safe in her arms…

-

::Oh hey there! Im actually gonna end my summary here, because their kiss is perfect, and I know I can't do it justice. Instead, let me say one more thing.

What makes their love confessions, and their kiss, so perfect, to me, is that it happens as each of them is realizing that they're being truly seen by the other for the first time in their lives. They are both imperfect souls, and let their fears and emotions block themselves from really seeing the other truely, so much so that they've hurt each other time and time again. But now, not only are they being seen for the best in themselves, but they also know the other sees their fears and desperate hopes and loves them all the more for those imperfections. Adora’s look as she asks Catra “You love me-?” is that of someone who's been hurting her whole life, desperate to make a difference but given far too few tools to do so, who felt useless while striving to satisfy others needs, her desperation from this making her lash out and destroy her chances at being a true hero. Catra knows all of that, and she loves her, she believes she is a good person, and has become a true hero.

Catra’s stunned look when Adora tells her “I love you, too” is that of someone who thought she could never been seen for the good in her by someone else, as someone who's been wronged her whole life, who was right to resist it, but wrong in her willingness to enact extreme violence for this, yet Adora sees all of Catra’s past wrongs and fears and knows that the pure hearted Catra before her in this moment is her true self.

As Catra realizes Adora is seeing her truly for the first time, she knows kissing her and making their love canon is the only proper act, it's all that there's left to do. In this moment, SPOP beautifully captures how important that feeling of understanding really is. We all desire it, but many don't believe it's possible. How can someone love us, if we're so flawed? But what if that's one of the best parts we can reveal, and to be loved for?

================================

Appendix of Explanations

Why this post? Is it necessary?

Well, I certainly think so??!!! Because there are no miracles in SPOP like most shows rely on. Catra saving Adora and then Adora saving the universe is possible because of very specific and defined forces, N. D. Stevenson made sure of that. He doesn't rely on anything like that cuz that's how good of a writer he is. Catra can see Adora in her dream and then open the door to pull her to safety for very defined reasons. There's no dues ex machina!

Why is it so important that Catra is in Adora's dream, and why is it important that this is Etheria's magic in action?

Adora's dream isn't an accident at all, and this story would not be the greatest of all time if Catra wasn't deeply the reason for Adora becoming a true hero. To that end, there needed to be a reason Catra could understand how to save Adora. Basically, a mythology. Etheria's magic helping her is this mythology: it's an active force in their world. And Catra resonates with that magic which is why she has the ability to act as she did. Catra has her own magic power: it's not obvious like with the princesses, but she is nonetheless the focus of that force of nature. Sure, N.D Stevenson needed magic to finish the story, a common criticism of stories like this, but the laws governing that magic are well defined.

Why all the explanation about Catra when Adora is the hero? Isn't that the more important part?

I don't mean to downplay Adora's part, she really IS the hero and she's that person because of some very important personality factors, she just can't do it without some help- specifically Catra's help, and Catra can only help her because of how she's harmonizing with the magic! And it's ok for Adora to get some help, we all need help from time to time! In fact, it's unrealistic for her not to need help. Catra's supposed to help her, Etheria knows this, so Catra is her harmony, and their love together is where real power comes from!

Lastly, I am a META writer. Everything I wrote here is based on a frame by frame META analysis of the story, and I give every assurance it's based in truth. Also true is I did use some flowery language to fill in the gaps of the dramatic moments, to make it flow better. Still, even if I ever strayed towards the over dramatic, the meaning is overall true, and if there's any part that you want a meta explanation for, such as how Catra finds Adora through Horde Prime's virus, I will give a moment by moment explanation! Just send me an ask! Also, check my blogs table of contents HERE for more meta explanations. This post might seem like a lot of metas, rest assured I've written explanations to the metas contained here... if that's any consolation! This post is also meant to bring them all together as a story...

So, I'll leave things there. If you liked my explanation and feel it helped you understand what really went on better, please share it with others. And of course, thank you for your likes and your rebloggs!! Reblogs will help others see this, too!

Thank you 🙇 thank you for any rebloggs you can give me, they are life!

Graciously, Etheria Dearie.

Happy Pride, everyone!

[gorewound]

Butch lesbian himbo child soldier discovers the awesome power of friendship a big fucking sword.

[boneblushed]

And, boy, you got her

synopsis Rafe’s in charge of the pledges during Rush Week. Hazing isn’t a thing. Making you feel so high school is.

wc 3.6K

a/n omgggg Euro Trip Rafe <3333 I was living on pledgetok last week and just couldn’t not write something about it

“Holy shit,” Noah mutters, surveying the crowd over his red cup, “I swear they get scrawnier every single year.”

Rafe nods gravely, taking a pull of his beer. “It’s fucking grim.”

“Like — fuck, look at those two.” Noah gestures toward the shaded veranda, a fresh coat of gloss making its balustrades shine. Huddled in one corner, attempting to take up as little space as possible, two boys donning UNC merch survey the crowd in tandem. “We weren’t that fucking scraggy as freshman, were we?”

“You two weren’t,” Kelce snorts, coming up behind them. Topper brings up his rear, mid-bite of his loaded hotdog. “Thornton definitely was though.”

“Oi!” Topper protests, his words garbled by half chewed sausage. “S’wasn’t that bad. C’mon.” He turns to Rafe then, swallowing his mouthful. “But seriously, you locked in any potentials?”

Rafe furrows his brow thoughtfully, looking back over Delta Chi’s yard. Unsurprisingly, it’s far too early to say. Though the barbecue that they’re hosting is a good way for pledges to mingle, it isn’t exactly hazing material; they’re going to have to get creative.

“Maybe,” he replies finally, shrugging. “We’ll just have to see I guess.”

He tips back his red cup again, swallowing the last dregs of beer before acquiescing. As he’s about to announce his need for a refill, a few pledges sidle up to their group, looking hopeful.

Not overtly, of course. Painstakingly hiding their eagerness behind an armour of insouciance.

“Rafe,” the tallest of the three greets, handing him another red cup. The golden liquid inside it brims to the surface, its white foam dissolving in mocking. “Hey, bro. You need another?”

Rafe raises his eyebrows, hiding a grin. “Shit. Table service already?”

The boy grins in tandem, looking a little sheepish. “Big fan, man. I’m Dylan.” He motions at the two guys on either side of him, wearing matching squints and backwards caps. “This is Rahul and Xav, we’re all here from Trinity.”

“Durham and Chapel Hill?” Noah enquires, whistling approvingly when they nod. “Fuck, we used to love having away games there. Those Trin cheerleaders…”

“Haha, shit, what was that chic’s name again?” Rafe asks then, a pull of mirth as he turns to Noah. “The one you messed around with in junior year?”

“Blake,” Noah answers, groaning in a mock-wistful sort of way. “They didn’t make ‘em like her at the Academy.”

Rafe snorts, sending the pledges a sage glance. “Nah. They made ‘em better.”

Noah raises his eyebrows, his brown eyes glinting with amusement. “Oh, so we are allowed to objectify your girl then, Cameron?”

“Damn, so you’re tied down?” Xavier pipes up, his voice gravelly and low on purpose. Overtly masculine, like he’s trying hard to be red-blooded. “Your girl doesn’t mind you partying?”

Rafe frowns. “Why would she mind?”

“Uh,” Xavier balks, pulling at the bill of his backwards cap, “shit. I don’t know… like, doesn’t she get pissed that you’re constantly around sorority girls?”

“HA —” Topper laughs, and then he falters, thwarted by Rafe’s warning glower. “Uh.” He scratches the back of his neck. “Let’s just say Cameron doesn’t give her any reasons to be suspicious.”

“Because he’s obsessed with her,” Noah adds, unperturbed by Rafe’s expression. He pauses then, an amusing idea popping into his head. “Which means…” he continues, returning Rafe’s glare with a trust me one of his own, “you guys should be too.”

Rafe doesn’t trust him. Like, at all. He sends him a bewildered look, unsure where he’s going with this. “White — what?”

Noah ignores him. He downs his beer and crushes the red cup in his hand, deftly aiming it at the nearest bag of trash. “So,” he says, eyeing the three pledges with interest. “How serious are you guys about rushing Delt?”

“Pretty serious, bro,” Rahul answers, looking to his friends for support. “Think we got a shot?”

Noah throws his arm around Rafe’s neck, his strong bicep taut as he shoots them a grin. “Depends, man, I might know how we could figure that out though.” He begins to steer Rafe away from them, sending one last, faux-somber look over his shoulder. “Be right back, yeah?”

Rafe, whose bewilderment is quickly giving way curiosity, allows himself to be marshalled out of earshot without complaints.

He shrugs Noah off of him once they’re on the verandah, his features ever-bemused as he turns toward him. “The fuck was that about?”

“Bro, I know exactly how we’re going to haze these motherfuckers,” Noah replies, his voice lilted with mirth. “You know… without breaking any rules.”

The bewildered expression on Rafe’s face doesn’t acquiesce. “Okay… how?”

“Instead of getting them to be our bitches,” he answers, a mischievous grin making home on his features. “We’re going to get them to be our girlfriends’ bitches.”

Rafe frowns. “Bro. What?”

“Cameron, it’s perfect.” He swipes Rafe’s beer from his hand and takes a generous pull. “What do frat guys hate more than being called scrawny as fuck?”

“Uh. Doing assignments?” Rafe answers blankly, still frowning. He doesn’t have it in him to think too hard about Noah’s profferance. He’s on hour two of manning this boring event, hour four since he bid you farewell, and all Rafe can bear to think about right now is the imminent taste of your peach-scented lips.

Noah shakes his head. “No, dumbass. Being called a simp.”

“Wrong,” Rafe answers, “I don’t mind that shit at all.”

“You’re the exception,” Noah replies matter-of-factly. “You and Y/N have always been the exception. C’mon, I’m talking about us,” he places his palm over his breastbone solemnly, “mere mortals.”

Rafe narrows his eyes. “Fuck off. How would that even work?”

“We…” Noah pauses to think, a slightly furrow to his brow, “alright, I got it. We assign the pledges to our girlfriends, one by one. Give them a week to make a good impression — you know, carry their bags, buy them flowers, all that sentimental crap you love.”

“You really think the guys’ll agree to this?” Rafe asks, sounding reluctant. “I mean… I don’t know if I’m alright with a bunch of idiots holding doors for my girl.”

“But you’re an idiot that holds a door for your girl,” Noah answers, not missing a beat.

“Fuck off, White.”

“I’m serious. It’ll be funny. And look… if you’re worried about Y/N, I know she’ll find it adorable as fuck.”

Rafe shakes his head. “No way. She didn’t find high-school me adorable.”

Noah raises his eyebrows skeptically. “You’d be surprised, man. Besides, these guys aren’t going to be like high-school you. High-school you was a douchebag.”

“A douchebag who got the girl.”

“A douchebag who got the girl after he stopped acting like a douchebag.” Noah smirks then. “A douchebag who’d give all these fuckers a run for their money if he was pledging Delt this year.”

Rafe grins in tandem, stealing his beer back to take a big swig. “Alright, shit, alright. Harmless shit though, right? Chivalry and all that?”

“Harmless as hell,” Noah agrees. “C’mon. You really think any of these guys has the balls to make a pass at one of our girls?”

“Easy for you to say, White. You don’t fucking have a girl.”

Noah frowns. “What d’you mean? Aren’t we going halves on Y/N?”

“Holy fuck, Noah,” Rafe groans, almost spitting out his mouthful of beer. “If Y/N heard the shit you said when she wasn’t around, she’d probably kill you.”

“Nah,” Noah replies, seemingly unperturbed. “She loves me.”

“Well,” Rafe says grimly, crushing his own empty cup in his head. “She might do now, but she sure as hell won’t by the end of this week.”

—

The first time it happens, you’re understandably perplexed.

You’re en-route to your 9AM, bag strap denting your left shoulder, when a stranger falls into your step and swipes it from your figure. It’s a motion so quick and deft you initially think you’re getting mugged.

As you double back in bewilderment, he proffers, “you alright with this?”

“Uh.” You balk. “What?”

“Your bag,” he answers, readjusting it on his own shoulder. He seems earnest. Nervous, even. “It looked heavy. I can carry it to class for you, if you want?”

You allow a pause to take him in.

“No, I’m…” another pause, more of his demeanour on display. Backwards cap, crisp white polo shirt, smile lines exposing the ghost of a grin on his face. A familiar grin, the kind that pulls a soft, maudlin feeling from your ribcage. “Look, if you’re trying to hit on me —”

“No, no,” he interrupts quickly, his eyes widening in a panic. “Shit — no, don’t tell Cameron I’m hitting on you. I’m just…”

“Wait a minute,” your eyes narrow accusatorially, because of course he’s behind this chivalrous display, “you know my boyfriend?”

The stranger grimaces sheepishly. “Uh. Yeah.”

“Explain.”

“It’s… uh… well — basically, I’m pledging Delt,” he answers haltingly, self effacement juxtaposing his frat boy exterior. “Rafe’s asked us to be all gentlemanly and shit for pledge week, I don’t know. To you guys, I mean. Like… the current frat member’s girls?”

“Oh my god,” you groan. “No he hasn’t.”

“Shit.” He looks far more nervous now that he did five minutes ago. “He didn’t tell you?”

“No,” you grumble, pulling your phone out of your pocket. “No he did not.”

Rafe’s on speed dial. He picks up on the first ring, the way he always does for you.

“Hey baby,” his gravelly timbre crackles through the phone, the low hum of frat house chatter audible in the background. “What’s up?”

“Don’t even. You know what’s up Rafael.”

A pause. When Rafe speaks again, his voice is quick and placating. “It was Noah’s idea.”

“Of course it was.”

“Dylan’s not playing up, is he?”

You raise your eyebrows at the stranger then, assessing him faux-suspiciously. “No way. He’s doing a better job than you ever did in high school.”

“Woah woah woah,” Rafe replies, a playful lilt to his tone. “That fucker’s not calling you dream girl or something, is he?”

“Worse. He’s being respectful of my boundaries.”

“Oh shit. I fucking knew this was a bad idea.”

You shake your head in exasperation, trying not to laugh. The poor stranger’s still standing there at attention, your leather bag looking ridiculous on his arm. “Rafe. Tell me he’s the only one.”

“He’s one…” Rafe starts slowly, sounding sheepish, “of three. Four, counting me.” In the background, you hear Noah pipe up and add, “five, Cameron. How could you forget me?”

“You’re un-fucking-believable, Noah White,” you shout through the phone.

“I love you too, Y/N,” Noah sings, and then he groans, no doubt shoved to the side by his indignant best friend. It’s Rafe on the phone again, voice sweet and thick as molasses as he says, “they’ll behave, baby, and make your life easier in the process. I promise.”

“What?” You accuse, fighting back a smile. “Like you did in high school?”

“Fuck no,” he replies, the grin on his face audible. “They’ll be nothing like I was, sweetheart.”

“What?” You tease. “Absolutely insufferable?”

“And absolutely in love with you.”

You raise your eyebrows. “How can you be so sure?”

“They’re under strict instruction. Have a shiner waiting for them if they pull something funny.”

Another exasperated laugh bubbles out of you, and you begin walking forward again, motioning at the boy named Dylan to follow in your step. “Right. So the boundaries are on purpose, are they?”

“The respect, too. No being inappropriate and charming at the same time.”

“And why not?” You ask faux-indignantly. “What if I like being objectified?”

“Can’t have you falling in love with them, can I?”

“Hey,” you argue, frowning stubbornly. “That is not what made me fall in love with you.”

“It isn’t?”

“Well,” you balk, “not solely that.”

“You’re fucking sexy,” he recites devotedly, almost yells, and you can hear the collective groan of his frat brothers in the background. “Are you wearing those Lululemon pants right now? Point is, I’m thinking about your ass in those Lululemon pants right now.”

“Rafe, I was fucking kidding. Stop.”

“No you weren’t.” You know he’s right; you can picture that stupid smirk on his face. It makes your cheeks warm. Asshole. “You’re blushing now, aren’t you?”

“Anyway.”

“Anyway,” Rafe agrees. “No funny business, alright? Just lots of good deeds.”

Good deeds. You suppose you could get used to good deeds, the embarrassment of attention notwithstanding.

You let out a defeated sigh, halting in front of your 9AM class. “You so, so owe me.”

“I so, so love you,” Rafe replies, and it makes your pulse leap; you’ll never get used to this feeling. “See you later, yeah?”

“Uh huh. Love you.”

Dylan waits until you’ve ended the call before saying farewell, dutifully handing your leather bag back to you and giving you a mock salute. The way he does it, all sheepish and genuine with a charming smile on his face, makes your heart twinge in a junior year of high-school sort of way. You’re feeling sentimental. It’s sweet.

You’re reminded of Rafe before he was yours, stumbling over himself to win your favour. Confusing chivalry with courting, objectifying you in the name of flirting.

Insufferable, but sweet nonetheless. You digress.

—

The next time it happens, you’re ambushed at your favourite cafe.

A dutiful Delta Phi pledge has already queued up and purchased you coffee, handing it over to you with a blushing bouquet of tulips.

You raise your eyebrows at him questioningly. “Is that…?”

“Uh, an oat iced coffee with vanilla?” He asks, sounding nervous. “I asked Cameron for your order.”

“Didn’t ask me about pastries, though,” a voice behind you adds, rough and familiar with a sweetness around the edges. Rafe circles your waist with ease and pulls you into his chest, sponging a soft kiss to your temple before handing you a brown bag.

A glossy, Daily Bread sticker shines on its exterior proudly.

Your eyes widen in surprise, and you look up at him expectantly. “Tell me you didn’t drive back home for a single croissant.”

“I didn’t drive back home for a single croissant,” Rafe replies. He grins then, looking that same, sheepish genuine that pulls a maudlin feeling. “I drove back home for twenty.”

“Rafe. Why?”

“Because you like Daily Bread,” he replies matter-of-factly, like it’s obvious.

You shake your head in exasperation, tip-toeing up to press a quick kiss to his lips. It becomes less quick against better judgement. He tastes like spearmint gum and cold brew, the hand he has held to your waist tightening ever so slightly. Slipping under your shirt, massaging the soft skin he finds there expertly, discreetly. Too much for 8am on a Wednesday morning, sans coffee. Your face feels on fire. You pull away in a hurry.

Meanwhile, the freshman pledge balks at the exchange, looking out of place.

Rafe frowns bemusedly at your diffidence, only clocking the reason when you nod over at him.

“I’ll walk her over Ben,” he says, dismissing him. “You’re off the hook, bro.”

“Shit.” The boy named Ben grimaces; he needs to get his hours in, and doesn’t deem this a fair ambush. He scrambles for an excuse. “Right. Can I still give her the flowers?”

“Of course you can,” you beam, accepting them gratefully. You look up at Rafe then, asking, “And if I want to walk with Benjamin?”

Rafe grins down at you, disbelieving. “Do you, baby?”

“As a matter of fact, yes,” you say, wriggling out of his grasp. “He got me flowers.”

Rafe falters, his eyes widening in surprise. “Sweetheart, I got you a croissant.”

“Ben got me a coffee,” you hedge. “And flowers.”

“Y/N,” he placates.

“Rafael,” you echo, unperturbed by his exasperation. You take a sip your coffee. “I’ll see you later, okay? Ben’s ticking off a good deed this morning.”

Poor Ben looks helpless, taking the brunt of Rafe’s glare as you motion for him to hold the door for you.

“C’mon Ben, we’re going to be late.”

“But…” Ben pauses, his eyes flitting to Rafe nervously. “This is fine, right?”

Rafe sighs, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth in defeat. “Yeah, bro. You’re good.” He looks to you, then. “You’re unbelievable.”

You smile sweetly. “I’m wearing the Lulu leggings.”

“Oh I noticed,” Rafe replies, his blue eyes falling down your figure in slow, reverent paces. “It’s why I want to be the one holding the door for you.”

You roll your eyes. “Men only want one thing.”

Rafe grins. “Yeah. You.”

—

By the end of the week, you’re more used to the chivalry than you’re willing to admit.

You’ve enjoyed free iced lattes and filled your dorm with gorgeous bouquets, no door left unopened and no walk to class left unescorted. And really, every pledge you’ve come across has been pleasant and unassuming, albeit absolutely terrified of Rafe and therefore extra obliging on instinct.

They’ve even offered to do favours for you, got you into sought after Pilates classes and done last minute grocery runs on your behalf. It’s put you in this constant state of mild exasperation, like you can’t believe you’re worthy of this much love and chivalry.

It’s exactly the way you felt back in high-school with Rafe, and this revelation pulls lots of funny feelings from your stomach, from your chest. Feelings you’ve forgotten that are all yours and all his. Because it’s strange, having someone other than Rafe taking care of you. (Or Noah.) It’s strange because it makes you realise just how much he adored you back in the day.

These emotions come to a head at the pledge week closing bash, Delta Phi lit up with fluorescent lights in technicolour. Inebriation ensues, beer pong follows, and an impromptu DJ deck plays endless songs with heavy bass.

Rafe Cameron has you pulled close, as always, the taut muscle of his forearm pressing heat to your exposed waist. You’re a few drinks down and hyperaware of his proximity, ankles touching, thighs too, torsos close with your head resting on his shoulder.

“I think I like Dylan the best,” you announce suddenly.

“Yeah?” Rafe asks, kneading your skin absentmindedly.

You nod. “He’s sweet. Told me all about his girl back home.”

Rafe grins then, shaking his head bemusedly. “You’re such a sucker for love, sweetheart.”

“Hey!” You glare up at him faux-incensed, looking accusatory. “So are you!”

“Shhhh,” Rafe murmurs playfully. “Not so loud, you’ll fuck up my street cred.”

You scoff. “Since when do you care about street cred?”

“Shit, you’re right,” Rafe agrees easily, leaning down to draw your lips in for a kiss. He’s all patchouli and musk, beer on his tongue and unchaste intentions in his touch. When he pulls away, his lips are still an inch from yours, his voice rougher than it was a second ago, “I don’t care. Like, at fucking all.”

“Good,” Noah snorts from behind him. “‘Cause you never had any to begin with, bro.”

“There you are,” you say then, eyeing Noah over Rafe’s shoulder. There’s a mock accusatory expression on your face, softened by mirth and the alcohol on your lips. “Have you been hiding from me, White?”

Noah grins sheepishly, taking a pull of his beer. “Maybe.”

You narrow your eyes. “Tell me. When did you become worse than Rafael?”

“I didn’t become worse!” Noah insists. “He just became better. You know, after he got the girl.”

You make a face. “Smooth.”

“Hey,” Noah raises his arms in surrender, looking faux-somber, “someone’s gotta teach the next generation, don’t they? I’m committed to their education.” He raises his eyebrows then, a mischievous glint in his eye. “C’mon, don’t act like you didn’t love it.”

Rafe grins. “She totally fucking loved it.”

You aim a glare at the pair of them, failing miserably at hiding your amusement. “So maybe I didn’t mind it. Sue me.”

“Of course you loved it,” Noah says, throwing his arm around you and pulling you into his side. “You love Cameron, don’t you?”

You narrow your eyes. “Opinions vary.”

“You love me?” Noah tries.

“You fucking wish.”

“Everyone fucking wishes,” Rafe says then, throwing his arm around you too, your figure wedged between the pair of them. Frat boy sandwich, you think tiredly. If high-school you could see you now, you’re pretty sure she’d have an aneurysm. “Especially when you’re in Lululemon.”

“Rafe.”

“I’m kidding. Not really. They all love you, you know that, yeah?”

You look up at him questioningly. “The pledges?”

“Uh huh,” Rafe replies, raising his eyebrows at you. “This is what I was afraid of, you know.”

“What?” You ask, lifting yours in tandem.

“Everyone falling in love with you, like I did in high school.”

You scrunch up your nose at him, your cheeks warming in diffidence. “No one’s fallen in love with me, don’t be silly.”

“I have,” Noah pipes up unhelpfully.

“Shut up, Noah. I saw you talking to Georgia just before.”

Noah grins, pulling away and offering you a mock salute. “Guilty as charged.” He turns to survey the crowd, spotting her figure on the fairy-light lit porch. “Speaking of…”

And he’s gone before you’re able to tease him any further, leaving Rafe to guide you out of his side and into his chest. You wrap your arms around his neck, his hands exerting a warm, steady pressure into the curve of your waist.

“As I was saying,” you continue, frowning up at him playfully. “No one’s fallen in love with me.”

Rafe’s unconvinced. His gaze skates down your figure again, a tortured groan falling from his throat. “Have you seen you, sweetheart?”

You roll your eyes, face hot and self conscious. “And even if they have,” you add, “it doesn’t matter.”

Rafe raises his eyebrows. “It doesn’t?”

“No way. Because I’m in love with you, not any of them.”

Rafe grins then, a devastatingly handsome look on his face. “I’ll never get used to hearing that.”

“I’ll never get used to saying it.”

[deebris]

The Mysterious Visitor 2

Batfamily x batsis (platonic!)

Synopsis: The unknown child evokes conflicting feelings in Bruce Wayne, who once again finds himself needing to deal with Talia's life problems. The girl only wanted the simple desire to see her brother again, unaware of the danger she had put herself into on her journey.

Warnings: The reader is 13 years old and is Damian's twin sister; the tone of the story is somewhat sad; Bruce is intimidating; Hugo Strange mentioned.

Word count: 2.8k

Note: I feel like maybe I could have developed a more emotional scene between Bruce and the reader, I also want to delve deeper into her thought process, but I hope to make up for that in the next part.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

Alfred could finally check the exact time now that he was standing in front of Bruce's room, admiring for a few seconds the clock in the corridor's decoration, which showed 4:17 am. He prepared to knock on the door, but suddenly a thought crossed his mind: would it be more rational to wake Damian instead of his father? Throughout his life, he had faced unusual situations thanks to the Wayne family; hardly anything would shake him now. His concern, however, was not for himself, but for Bruce.

Talia was a persistent shadow in Bruce's past, still haunting him, and although he had tried to convince the butler many times that the only link he had with her now was because of their son, Alfred still doubted it. Their relationship had been complicated in many ways, either because of her ambiguous nature or Ra’s al Ghul's insistence on trying to persuade Bruce to join the League of Assassins, making Alfred fear that Bruce's morals might deviate because of this passion at the time.

Alfred raised his fist to knock three times and waited patiently as was his custom, but it seemed that was not enough to wake his master. He knew the door was open and knew he was allowed to enter without knocking, so just this once he used the liberty the young man had given him over the years; because in the end, Bruce Wayne was just that, a young man, and would always be seen that way by him.

Inside the room, he turned on the light, and the intense glare made him close his eyes to avoid the sting of the brightness. Approaching the bed, he sighed at the sight of Zolpidem pills left on the nightstand. This had been the only way Bruce found to stop spending sleepless nights, reluctantly since he was too stubborn and preferred to patrol in the darkness. Waking him would be a difficult task.

"Master Bruce," he called, waiting for a response, but got nothing. Alfred felt sorry for waking him, seeing how he finally seemed to be resting. "Master Bruce," he called again, this time nudging his shoulder. The pills must have been wearing off because he started to stir on the mattress.

"What’s going on, Alfred?" Bruce asked in a hoarse voice while rubbing his eyes to relieve the discomfort from the lamp. He sat up in bed, leaning his back against the headboard, blinking several times to see the butler in the corner. One of the room's curtains was open, and he saw the snow falling outside with the dark sky, showing that it was still night. "Is it Hugo Strange? Has he shown up somewhere?"

"Unfortunately, or fortunately, no, sir." Alfred paused, then licked his lips, preparing to continue and finally revealing, "There's a young lady downstairs who claims to be Master Damian’s sister." Direct, as always.

"Sister of Damian?" Bruce repeated the information, still not fully comprehending its meaning. He needed some time, just standing there absorbing the words. It seemed to be taking an eternity, but Alfred wouldn't interrupt the moment of clarity he was having.

He squinted, pushed the covers aside, and picked up the shirt he found nearby. Buttoning it up and getting out of bed, he continued, "When did this happen?"

"Just now, sir."

"Did Damian bring her here?" The question had a bitter tone but never crossed the line of respect that was drawn between them, and Alfred knew he should prepare for his interrogation. Bruce saw the alarm clock and, like the butler a few minutes ago, checked the time. "He never mentioned anything like this."

"Nor to me." Alfred suddenly extended a coat for him to take. Bruce held the fabric between his fingers, confused. "This coat is hers. There’s a map of Gotham City and a letter inside. I recommend you take a look at the addressee."

Pulling the papers from the right pocket, Bruce noticed a map folded into many smaller parts and a letter witch was still sealed, though the corners were noticeably crumpled and marked by small fingers. Carefully analyzing the cursive handwriting, he read. "I had no idea Damian still had contact with his mother. Much less that Talia had a daughter," he said, still drowsy, staring at the name 'Talia Head,' to whom the letter was addressed and recognizing his son’s elegant handwriting. Apparently, she still used the alias surname.

"It's not surprising considering you only discovered your son after so many years." The statement could have easily been interpreted as irony, but it was acidic. "She didn’t seem sure Damian lived here; I suppose she found out because of this letter."

"You left her alone downstairs?" he ignored the previous comment.

"I left her in Master Dick's care."

Bruce stared at him for long seconds and hurried out of the room. Halfway down the stairs, he could already see some glimpses of Dick's hair over the back of the sofa, talking to someone, or rather, laughing with someone.

"Dick?" The voice quickly caught his attention, turning his face to see his father approaching. When Bruce stood in front of the fireplace, he could finally look at the child beside the boy. Dick began to say something, but Bruce couldn’t hear. 

He stared at the girl, analyzing everything about her, from the way she intertwined her fingers nervously to her deer-like eyes. Her iris were shining, as if she had cried, and her swollen and bruised lips were quite noticeable. She had definitely been outside not long ago, shaking and rubbing her hands together constantly to warm herself up. She seemed too sweet, but Bruce knows that appearances can be deceiving.

His gaze passed over the pendants hanging from her bracelet, a simple detail that caught him off guard. Two crossed swords and a demonic head, he understood well what they meant; they were some of the symbols of the League of Assassins, the third was a simple "T" surrounded by a moon. He shouldn’t have been surprised, Talia was a possessive woman and he knew that the "T" was her way of marking property.

"Her name is Y/n," he heard Dick say after a long time.

You noticed how this man's eyes went dark while he watched you and couldn’t help but shrink back on the sofa. It was impossible to hold his gaze, and you began to feel ashamed of being stared at for so long.

"Y/n, this is Bruce Wayne."

"What do you want?" That came out ruder than he intended, but his aversion to the League of Assassins stirred a certain anger. The idea that this could all be a trap crossed his mind. You might be young and exude innocence, but you must have enough understanding to participate in their malicious plans.

"I just wanted to see my brother," you said with sadness in your voice, questioning yourself if this whole situation was worth it. Bruce knew the best way to confirm if this was all true would be by his son’s word, but the signs were so explicit that it might not even be necessary.

You don’t look anything like her, at least at first glance, but you wore her favorite colors and clothes so perfectly matched that no girl your age could choose yet, exactly to Talia's taste and with the appropriate youthful touch for your age. The pendants, the cut of your hair, literally everything had her touch. It was impossible for anyone to convince him otherwise.

"Go get Damian." He said, and Dick understood that the message was for him. Bruce needed to make sure you were telling the truth, or at least needed to make sure you weren’t dangerous. This could still be a League scheme or some plot by your mother.

"Can I see him?" Your voice was the loudest you had spoken that night. The excitement was clear, and it was so much that irrationally you stood up to follow Dick, but a calloused hand suddenly wrapped around your torso and stopped you, making your back hit a slightly prominent belly. You looked up and saw the old man again, his expression was not happy, and you realized it was directed at Mr. Wayne, who had an arm extended towards you but that never managed to touch you.

Like his face, his arm was tense, with visible veins and contracted tendons. You didn't know what his intentions were, but by the way the old man grabbed you to prevent him from laying hands on you, maybe he wasn't as good as he or Dick. It was a very scary sight., making you feel that this man could be dangerous. Trusting the old man, you turned to hug him, hiding as much as possible. Mr. Wayne’s aura was dark, very unfriendly, but you still saw how he recoiled with his face displaying a certain sense of regret.

Dick noticed Alfred's sudden movement behind him before he could leave the room. He glanced at their faces and for a moment considered whether it would be appropriate to turn back and mention the conversation he had with you to the butler in secret, but then his eyebrows furrowed thinking of Damian. Maybe he should confront the little demon first.

"Don’t do anything stupid, Bruce." Dick thought.

Frantically he knocked on the boy’s door. One, two, three, four times until he lost count. At no point did he hear any noise inside, so he began to turn the doorknob, only to find it was locked.

"Of course he’d lock it, that brat..."

"What are you doing?" Suddenly Tim's bedroom door behind him opened abruptly, making a sliver of light from inside illuminate the opposite wall. He was obviously irritated at being woken up but still had that tone of seriousness he carried most of the time.

"Where's his room key?" Dick completely ignored his brother's attitude.

"Forget it. I heard him sneak out to patrol again." Tim's voice sounded tired.

"And you let him?!" Dick snapped but reminded himself to contain it, remembering that Jason was sleeping in one of the rooms in that wing and that you three downstairs might hear the commotion. "Why didn’t you stop him?"

"And what good would it do? That boy is too stubborn." Tim tried to defend himself. "Besides, I have his location right here. He’ll be fine." He opened the door a bit more to show one of his computer monitors tracking the trajectory and heart signals of a green dot on the streets of Gotham City.

Dick looked both ways down the hallway before pushing Tim back into his room and closing the door.

"Hey, what's this? Why are you acting so weird?" Tim was startled by Dick's unusual behavior, feeling anxious as he watched him go to the computer to check Damian's exact location, observing the dot on the screen moving. Dick pressed a button, likely an emergency notification to get Damian to return home. Then he turned to Tim, gripping his shoulders and looking at him with intense seriousness.

"Tim, what I'm about to tell you might be a lot to take in, and I need you to try to understand as much as possible." Dick pointed a finger in his face, waiting for confirmation.

"You're scaring me like this. What the hell happened?"

"No questions and no interruptions! Understood?" Dick's tone was authoritative, stepping back only when he saw Tim nodding affirmatively.

"Why the hell is everyone awake downstairs? Did someone die or something?" Jason barged into Tim's room without ceremony, trying to make a joke, but when he saw the ghostly expressions on their faces, he quickly shut the door again, this time with him inside the room. "My God," he exclaimed in shock. "Can I join in on your little secret?" he asked ironically.

"Did you see the girl?" Dick asked Jason nervously, with a certain expectation.

"Yeah. I saw a girl with Bruce and Alfred. But they didn't see me, since I went back upstairs. The mood down there is pretty tense." Jason threw himself on the bed, making the mattress bounce and Tim frown in displeasure. "I think Alfred is going to give him a lecture afterwards."

"She's Bruce's daughter."

Jason propped himself up on his elbows, and Tim had to sit in the computer chair. His mouth formed a perfect 'O' as he struggled to believe Dick's words.

"With who this time?" Jason seemed to be reacting better than Tim to the news, even letting out a light laugh. It was a typical, caustic Jason response.

"That's not all." Dick ignored his comment. "She said she's Damian's twin."

Tim let out a short whistle, processing the idea like a complex calculation. "Tell this story from the beginning, Dick. Why did she show up now?" He finally managed to rejoin the conversation. It took a while for the shock to pass, but now he had his usual rational demeanor.

Dick rubbed his hands over his face, trying to recount the night and organize the information. "Apparently, she doesn't even know Bruce is her father. And he doesn't know about it either."

"Damian also never mentioned having a sister."

"Damn. Hiding one kid for a decade is something, but two?" Jason stared at the floor as if it were the most interesting thing in the world, a strange sensation taking over the room. But seeing the melancholic expression on Dick's face, his curiosity grew even more. "What else do you know, huh Dick?" He questioned him, sensing there was something much deeper behind this, and his brother just gave him an enigmatic look.

"She said she came here to see Damian. That she found out where he was because of a letter he wrote to Talia..." Dick suddenly froze, pulling a little box from his pocket as if it were a dangerous bomb. "While we were talking, she said a man had helped her get here. He gave her a map and asked her to deliver a present to Bruce, but she gave it to me to deliver." He handed the beige little box to the two, but it was Tim who took it.

Whatever it was, it was very well wrapped.

"Is it right to open it?" Tim asked. "I mean, it's for Bruce, isn't it?"

"I already opened it." Dick said bluntly. "I thought it might be a trap, I was careful."

"Give it here." Jason took the small box from Tim's hands. It was the same size as an engagement ring box, perfect for carrying in a pocket. He pulled the lid off and took out a card, freezing when he read it.

"What does it say?" Tim was curious, taking the card from his hands and reading it out loud:

'I sent your daughter home as a demonstration of my benevolence. Merry Christmas, Batman. Signed, H.S.’

"Holy shit," Jason exclaimed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. "That bastard figured out Batman's identity."

"Even worse: he knew about her before we did." Tim added reflectively, his voice barely a whisper. "That means he knows much more than just Batman's identity. He might know other things, including our identities. He probably suspects we are also vigilantes."

"I want to hear the whole story properly." Jason's intensely serious voice broke the silence that had settled in the room, determined to fully understand the appearance of this girl and how she got involved with Hugo Strange.

Dick took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before speaking. "Alright, here it is. Minutes ago, Alfred and I woke up because a girl showed up at the manor claiming to be Damian's sister. She told me that she had a map of Gotham and a letter addressed to Talia from Damian. Alfred brought Bruce to her, and then I went upstairs to call Damian, but I discovered that he's out on patrol. And now we're here."

Tim interrupted, "Wait, so Damian's been in contact with Talia and didn't tell us?"

"That's what it seems like," Dick confirmed, rubbing his temples. "The girl didn't even know Bruce was her father. She mentioned that a man helped her get here and gave her a map along with a present for Bruce."

Jason leaned forward even more. "And this man was Hugo Strange."

"Not xactly, he could have sent someone else." Dick nodded. "The present was that card. Strange knows about her and about Bruce being Batman. He sent her here as some twisted gift."

Tim, processing the information, asked, "Did she say anything about why Strange would do this? What does he gain from sending her here?"

"She didn't seem to know much about Strange's intentions," Dick replied. "She just wanted to see Damian. But it’s clear that Strange knows a lot more than he's letting on. He must have some larger plan in mind."

Jason clenched his fists, his anger palpable. "So, this girl is just a pawn in his game. We need to figure out what his endgame is."

"Agreed," Dick said. "But first, we need to make sure she's safe and find out everything she knows. We also need to talk to Damian and see what tell us about all this."

Tim nodded, adding, "And we have to stay vigilant. If Strange knows this much, we can't underestimate him. He could have more moves planned."

Jason stood up, his determination evident. "We need to get to the bottom of this before anyone gets hurt."

"But what about Talia? Did she just let her daughter go out there, be deceived by a stranger, and then simply come here?" Tim pointed out. "And you, Dick? Are you going to tell Bruce?"

Suddenly, the sound of someone tapping on the window glass was heard. The three brothers turned their heads to see Damian, clad in his Robin attire, asking to come in. "Open up already, you idiots."

Tag list:

@lafrone @sylum @mileskisser @belowbreadcrumbs @riddle-me-im-sirius

@rafa-the-beautiful @shehrazadekey @fairuzwhat @bedeater @arianapjs

@idonthaveanameforthisacc @azulawayne @nciolisa @lovelywritersgarden

@spideybv28 @faimmm @formula-space @cherry-peach-flavored

🍒

@nebuluma

Credits for the divider: @cafekitsune

[belovedhoon]

simulation

pairing: camboy! sunghoon x bff! reader genre: smut, fluff fandom: enhypen wc: 4100+ contains: smut, fluff, unprotected sex (just dont do this), recording of sex, perv y/n, roughish sex, choking, slight size kink taglist: @st1llm0nster , @hmusunoo , @lonelybutterflytae divider credit: @cafekitsune

synopsis: sunghoon is a very popular camboy with a huge following unbeknownst to his best friend y/n. what happens when y/n stumbles across ‘iceprince02’? what happens when she realizes it’s her best friend sunghoon, surely she’ll stop watching right?

fic under the cut >>>>>

Y/N was scrolling through a popular cam sight when she stumbled across ‘iceprince02’ who was live at the moment of her endless scrolling to find something or rather someone good to get a quick self-made orgasm through. What made her click on this particular camboy was his pale-toned stomach and pretty cock. She clicked on his live after it had prompted her to make an account, and she came up with the username ‘xo_darling_xo’ on a whim. When she was finally able to click on the live, her eyes widened at the man’s deep husky voice. ‘He sounds so hot’ she thought to herself. She watched as he had his hand wrapped around his long pale cock, the girth looked like it would stretch her out just right. Y/N got comfortable in her bed, up against her headboard, and began to slowly bring her hand down her chest slowly.

Y/N brought her hands to the waistband of her sleep shorts before stopping. Was she really about to get off to some random dude jacking his shit on camera? Yes, yes she was, Y/N was down bad, so very down bad… You slid your hands down towards your waistband again this time not hesitating to slip your hand into your shorts and rub gently against your throbbing clit, mentally patting yourself on the back for forgoing panties tonight. You observed your laptop screen closely as the man on screen who called himself ‘ice prince’ dragged his hand slowly up and down his cock, squeezing at the base when he would feel himself getting close to his high. He didn’t want to come so quickly and ruin the fun so soon, he knew that he could go again after he came but he really didn’t feel like overstimulating himself too much today…so he just stuck to edging himself. You watched entranced at the sight of his buff arms flexing every time he stroked his very hard cock. How were you feeling so close just from rubbing your clit? That’s unheard of for you, it usually never being enough stimulation for you. You continued to watch with bated breath as he moved his hand faster, his deep groans and grunts going straight to your cunt. The closer ‘ice prince’ got to his high the higher-pitched his moans got and you swear you’ve never heard something so melodic and beautiful.

You could tell the very moment he was about to reach his peak by the way his stomach tensed and by his staccato moans. You were right because a few seconds later you watched as he let out one last loud groan and his thick white release squirted out spilling onto his hands and stomach. You let out a moan of your own as you came to the sight. ‘Ice prince’ stayed mostly silent while he was recovering letting out an occasional whine as he moved his hand very slowly up and down his spent length to draw out his orgasm.

As ‘ice prince’ got up off his bed to turn the live off, you noticed something in his room that shook you to your core…it’s just a coincidence, right? There is no way that you just saw the flag you had made for your best friend on his wall behind ‘ice prince’ when he moved to grab tissues right? There’s no way at all…You studied the room that this ‘ice prince’ guy was in and the realization dawned on you, wondering how you didn’t put it together sooner that this was Sunghoon…your best friend and roommate. The voice alone should have brought up some red flags but I guess in your lust-haze you didn’t even notice. Before you could process what was going through your head, ‘ice prince’ or Sunghoon rather ended the live. The post-nut clarity hitting you hard. There is no way you just came to the image of your best friend Sunghoon jerking off in his room…

You truly didn’t know how to feel about the whole situation, on one hand, you felt guilty for watching your best friend jack off, but on the other hand, you felt even more turned on at the fact that it was indeed your best friend you had just watched climax on camera… How will you face Sunghoon after this without remembering his pretty moans every time he talks?

You stayed in your room for a few seconds longer before deciding to go knock on Sunghoon’s door just to confirm it was him, not directly but just to see if there were any clues to confirm what you had just witnessed. When you knocked on his door, you heard a quiet ‘one second’ and then a few seconds after he opened the door still shirtless btw… You stayed quiet just staring at his toned chest. Sunghoon raised a thick eyebrow at your silence and intense gaze.

“Y/N? You good? Do you need something? I’m kinda in the middle of something…” Sunghoon said his voice confused yet rushed. He really didn’t need you finding out about his ‘secret’ job right now…even if it did pay the bills. He still had his camera set up, and the tissues by his bed, he hadn’t had time to get rid of the evidence before you came knocking at his door. Your eyes flitted up to his at his words, breaking you out of your filthy thoughts. You gave him one last glance before pushing past him into his room before he could protest to see his camera set up in front of his bed and you froze at the sight. Guess your suspicions were right… it was him you had just watched masturbate on camera for thousands of people. You would have never expected this from Park Sunghoon.

You stood there staring at the camera before your eyes were drawn to the tissues on his bedside table and then the flag that you had just seen on his porn live… Sunghoon watched as you observed his room and being the clever guy he is put everything together and realized you must have stumbled across his cam page. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and then turning to you and noticing your flushed face, sweaty neck, and your eyes blown wide with lust. He smirked, you weren’t disgusted no you were far from it…no you were clearly aroused. You had to of watched the full live through there’s no way you hadn’t or you wouldn’t have realized it was him.

“Y/N…I know you know what you just saw was me…and quite frankly I think you liked it, like the little pervert that you are…” Sunghoon said, his tone smug. Your eyes widened at his words, you hadn’t expected him to know you knew about his dirty little secret. You started to protest but before you could finish your sentence, he was suddenly right in front of you his breath fanning over your face. You stared up into his eyes and watched as they darkened at your flustered reaction. You truly couldn’t help the little whine that escaped your lips when he brought one of his hands to your waist and the other to your face caressing your cheek.

Sunghoon looked into your eyes gazing intensely as he brought his lips closer to your own, giving you time to back away if you wished to, if anything you moved slightly closer. He took that as initiative and closed the gap between you two crushing his lips to your own. You moaned into his mouth at the feeling of his soft plump lips on your own. You opened your mouth as soon as you felt him brushing his tongue on your bottom lip asking for entrance. Sunghoon slipped his tongue into your mouth pulling you closer to his body where you could feel his cock growing hard against your stomach. Finally, he pulled away so that the two of you could catch your breath.

“Now that you know my little secret, you should join me one day hm?” Sunghoon said with a smirk, chuckling darkly at the way you panicked. You stuttered not knowing how to react or what to say. There was no way in hell Sunghoon just insinuated you joining him… You just stared at him your eyes comically wide and he just laughed at your reaction before leading your stiff body to his bedroom door and all but pushing you out and closing it, you could hear the sound of it locking seconds later. You stood outside his door frozen, not properly processing what had just happened. You shook out of the weird feeling before going to your room and masturbating a second time remembering how Sunghoon’s lips felt on your own before drifting off to bed, with you guessed it…thoughts of your best friend once again.

The next few days passed by in a blur with exams coming up right around the corner. Your mind is finally preoccupied with something other than that odd situation that conspired with Sunghoon. Sunghoon seemed to forget about what had happened or maybe he was just that good at pretending it didn’t happen. It was pretty awkward for you the next morning, not knowing how to react to what had happened, but with Sunghoon he made it pretty easy to get over the initial awkwardness. The next passing days got better and better and finally, you and Sunghoon were back to your normal dynamic, well as close to normal as you could get with the fact that you couldn’t help but continue to watch his lives…not that he knew of course…you’d never let him know that fact.

Exams came and went for the both of you and finally, the semester was over which you couldn’t be happier about. Now you could relax and not have to worry about studying so much. Now that you didn’t have the distractions of exams…your mind went straight back to the night Sunghoon kissed you with so much passion and the words he said to you…surely he was joking right…? The way he said it, it seemed like he was being serious, but he also hasn’t asked you since so you were conflicted. Was you supposed to ask him? Were you supposed to go to him? At this point you had to find out, your mind was just so plagued with Sunghoon that you just couldn’t resist knowing if he was telling the truth and actually really did want you to make a video with him. So you did what any logical person would do…you walked out of your room clad in pink lacy lingerie and a matching silk robe and marched your way over to Sunghoon’s room and knocked on the door.

You heard shuffling around before the door was opened and Sunghoon was stood there bare-chested once again, bringing a sense of deja vu to you. He stared at you expectantly waiting for you to say something. You both just stood there for a few seconds more before you finally mustered up the courage to ask him what you were there to ask, the confidence from before leaving as soon as you saw Sunghoon’s pale bare chest. God, you were so down bad.

“I…Uh…I was uh…wondering if you were…if you were being serious about what you said a couple of weeks ago…” You finally stuttered out, your voice barely above a whisper. One of his eyebrows rose at your muttered words, processing what you said before a sinister grin appeared on his face. He studied how you couldn’t even look him in the eyes and how your hands were twitching with nerves. Suddenly you felt him lift your head to make you gaze straight into his dark eyes.

“Ah, I thought you’d never come crawling back…I was dead serious about what I said. I was actually just about to start another live, which I know you knew, seeing that you watch every one of my shows and know my schedule.” Sunghoon said, his tone cocky. Your eyes widened at that, how did he know that you watched all of his lives? He smiled at your shocked expression.

“You think you’re sneaky ‘darling’… you left my page up on your laptop when I borrowed it, I saw your user name…’xo_darling_xo’ very cute by the way. It suits you. I noticed every time you would join in Y/N, made me that much harder to know that my pervy little best friend was touching herself while watching me…” Sunghoon said seductively, his voice almost a growl at the end. Oh how he wished you knew that every time he did one of his cam shows he was touching himself to the thought of you in your room, your small fingers buried inside your wet cunt moaning out his name.

Sunghoon opened his door wider, gesturing you to walk inside his room. You gulped walked in slowly and stopped once you heard the door close and lock. Your senses were heightened it seemed like, your nerves going haywire. You listened closely to Sunghoon’s footsteps as he walked closer to you, and then suddenly the footsteps stopped and you felt goosebumps arise at the feeling of his hot breath fanning across the back of your neck. You shivered at the feeling of Sunghoon gently turning you around, his touch scorching your skin, the feeling electric.

“Are you sure you want this Y/N? We don’t have to film this…” Sunghoon said softly, wanting to make sure you were sure and comfortable. You nodded your head eagerly, the thought of Sunghoon claiming you in front of his thousands of fans made you uncomfortably wet. Sunghoon clicked his tongue.

“Use your words, pretty girl.” Sunghoon said sternly, holding your face in his hand and squeezing your cheeks roughly. You whined at the feeling of his rough hand on your face.

“Yes Sunghoon…I want this…please take me on live…” You let out with a whimper. Sunghoon groaned at your desperation, his cock growing impossibly harder at your pleas. He smirked before moving his hand from your face bringing his hands down to your plump ass grabbing it firmly before pulling away from you entirely, you moaning at the loss of his body heat and touch.

“Alright baby, I’m going to start the live normally and then I’m going to announce that you’re joining…then I’m going to absolutely ruin you…” Sunghoon said his tone sultry and deep. You smiled and nodded at his words signaling you heard him loud and clear. He smiled back before he turned on the camera and his laptop, starting the live.

“Hi, my loves…we’re doing something different tonight. I have a special guest joining tonight’s live, someone very dear and special to me…I hope you all can treat her with as much enthusiasm as you do I.” Sunghoon said out loud to his streamers. He looked up at you before gesturing you to join him on the bed, to which you shyly did.

You sat on the bed beside Sunghoon, and he looked over at you smiling brightly then you both turned to the laptop to read the comments flooding in. ‘she’s so pretty…what should we address her as?’ one of the comments asked. Sunghoon thought before telling them to call you ‘darling’ seeing as that was the name you used when you first encountered his cam shows. You continued to watch as comments kept coming in commenting about how you and ‘ice prince’ were so cute together and how you two seemed like a perfect fit. There were also the dirty comments about how they wished for ‘ice prince’ to ruin you. So that’s exactly what Sunghoon planned to do…

Sunghoon gently laid you on your back on his bed, looking into your eyes for discomfort the whole time he did so. You looked up at him with eager, desperate eyes, Sunghoon’s eyes darkening in desire. He undid your robe slowly revealing your pretty lingerie-clad body, and he groaned at the sight of you all dolled up for him. He slipped the robe off your body completely and brought his hands to your bra and unclipped it taking that off as well. His eyes zeroed in on your hard nipples and he couldn’t help but bring his mouth to the right one and begin sucking roughly, his hand going to the other one massaging it with a firm grip. You moaned out at the feeling of his tongue swirling around your erect nipple. Your hips rose trying to seek friction on your needy cunt, Sunghoon hissing at the feeling of your warmth grinding against his hard cock. Sunghoon let go of your nipple with a pop before he brought his hands to your soaked panties and slid them down your legs, tossing them on the floor beside your robe. He took off his pants, leaving him in just his briefs, and then placed his lips on yours kissing you intensely. Sunghoon began to grind his clothed cock into your clit and you couldn’t stop the whines that escaped your lips, the feeling so intense.

“Please…” You begged him, you felt like you were going to explode with how pent-up you were. Sunghoon just smirked down at you, enjoying his teasing torture on you and your body, you were just so responsive to his touch, and that made him impossibly harder. Suddenly he pulled away from you and you protested at the feeling of his body warmth gone. He just clicked his teeth and pulled his briefs down, throwing them on the floor. You could feel your mouth watering at the sight of his thick pale cock…the one you’ve been fantasizing about for weeks… You needed him in your mouth right now or you think you might die.

Sunghoon noticed the feral look in your eyes, knowing what you wanted at that moment. He moved over to where you were lying on the bed and stood and front of you in a way that was blocking the camera setup. You got up on your knees crawling toward him, you bent down toward his throbbing cock, your ass in the air. You looked up at Sunghoon through your eyelashes and studied his face and how he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the motion. You move your hand towards him and gripped his large cock in your grasp, your hand looking tiny compared to his length. He moaned as soon as you made contact with him. You smiled innocently up at him as you brought your mouth to his pink tip. You took him further into your mouth before pulling off and then doing it again. Sunghoon got tired of your teasing real quick and grabbed your hair and pushed you further onto his cock. You gagged at the sudden intrusion and moved your hands to his thick muscular thighs gripping on for dear life as Sunghoon began to thrust his hips harshly, his tip hitting the back of your throat repeatedly.

Sunghoon let out deep grunts at the exertion of his thrusts and he let out an occasional long drawn-out moan at the feeling of your throat constricting around his throbbing cock. You weren’t any better honestly, letting out moans and whines at the way Sunghoon was abusing your throat. You could feel yourself dripping down your thighs and onto the sheets below you. Sunghoon’s moans grew higher in pitch the closer he got to his climax before he suddenly groaned out that he was about to cum. He grabbed your head forcing you all the way onto his cock and cumming inside your mouth, his cock pulsating at the intensity of it. You let out a moan at the feeling of his warm cum coating your throat and mouth. Sunghoon pulled out of your mouth slowly and moaned at the sight of his cum pooling at the sides of your mouth. He then pulled you up and crashed his mouth onto yours, not caring that he had just come into your mouth.

Sunghoon pulled away from the kiss and pushed you back onto the bed crawling between your spread legs. He started to kiss up your thighs, avoiding where you needed him most. If you were going to tease him, he was gonna do it 10x worse…

“Please…I need you…” You whimpered out grasping his hair between your fingers and tugging him closer to your core. Sunghoon moaned at the stinging on his scalp. Finally, he brought his mouth to your clit, licking it softly before taking it into his mouth and sucking on it harshly. You yelled a quick ‘fuck!’ at the feeling. Sunghoon looked up into your eyes as he brought two of his fingers to your slick entrance and pushed them inside you. You were a moaning, squirming mess as Sunghoon feasted on you. You could feel your high fast approaching, so you warned him, but before you could reach your much-needed high, Sunghoon removed his fingers and let go of your clit with a loud pop. Your eyes shot open at the feeling of your high being stolen away from you so rudely. Sunghoon just smirked at you, popping his finger into his mouth and moaning at your taste.

“If you want to cum, you’re going to cum on my cock darling…” Sunghoon said smugly, raising an eyebrow. You sighed nodding your head. Sunghoon then climbed on top of you, his chain dangling above your face and you couldn’t help but whine at how sexy he looked with his hair mussed up and his eyes blown wide with lust for you. You felt as Sunghoon aligned himself with your entrance, pushing just the tip inside you. Your eyes closed at the feeling of your walls adjusting to his head. Sunghoon slowly began to push himself into you, grunting at how tight you felt around him. You whimpered as you struggled to adjust to his huge size.

“Shh darling, you’re okay…You can take it…” Sunghoon wheezed out, trying so hard not to just thrust forward. You just felt so good around him, so tight. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he was bottomed out inside you. He stayed still for a few more moments so that you could completely adjust before he began to thrust into you at a steady pace. You kept moaning loudly at the feeling of his cock dragging in and out of your walls. You could feel your high approaching once more, still feeling sensitive from your high being taken away earlier. Sunghoon could feel himself getting close as well, but he wanted you to come before he did, so he brought one of his hands to your clit and began to run it harshly. He picked up his pace until he was pounding into you as hard as he could, his headboard hitting against the wall in a repeated ‘thump, thump, thump’ sound. Sunghoon brought his other hand up to your neck, squeezing slightly and that was your downfall, being pushed over the edge as soon as you felt him choking you. You screamed out as you let your orgasm take over your body, clenching around Sunghoon tightly, your juices soaking his cock as you came hard. Sunghoon lets out a long drawn-out groan at the feeling, cumming right after you. You could feel his warm cum painting your walls and moaned at the oversensitivity. Sunghoon thrust a few more times to draw out both of your orgasms, pushing his cum deeper inside you, before pulling out of you.

Sunghoon said goodbye to the viewers and then turned off the camera. He then walked into his ensuite bathroom and grabbed a wet rag to clean you up. He walked back to where you were passed out on his bed in exhaustion. He smiled softly at the sight. You were so cute to him and he couldn’t help but fall more in love with you at that moment…you looked so peaceful and content. Sunghoon cleaned you up gently, slipping one of his shirts onto your sleeping body putting on a pair of boxers onto himself, and slipping into the bed beside you pulling you towards him. One of your eyes opened at the motions and you let out a small yawn and snuggled closer to him with a cute happy smile on your face. Sunghoon pulled the covers onto you both and thought about how you two were going to have to talk in the morning about what had conspired, but for now, he was going to hold you close to him. So he did just that drifting off to sleep, exhaustion taking over him. He didn’t know what the future would hold for you two but as long as you were happy, he was happy…

[earlysunshines]

like you used to

minatozaki sana x fem!reader ; angst

synopsis: it’s raining it’s pouring no old man is snoring and you've run into your ex-girlfriend (aka the love of your life) after a year.

warnings: reader used to have bad habits (smoking, alcohol) ; sana is a sweetheart ; reader is avoidant ; ex's to...? ; my attempt at angst, not my forte... ; anything else I didn't mention

a/n: hey! so all i do is lie (change my mind too often) anyways this one is short I just had a random burst of motivation :-p feeling edgy, don’t expect more this is spontaneous;-;

one thing about where you live is that there’s always unexpected surprises — in this case, the weather went from partly cloudy at 5pm to sudden thunder and lightning.

great.

no umbrella, a drenched shoulder bag, and soaked clothes cling to you as you dash for cover. when you finally find refuge at the bus stop, there’s another surprise waiting for you.

light brown hair dampened by the rain, a side profile more beautiful than flowers in bloom, and a soft smile that could captivate you for centuries: minatozaki sana.

“shit,” you mutter under your breath, running under the roof of the stop. 

patting down your blazer and pleated pants, sana turns and widens her eyes slightly. you meet her halfway, meeting her gaze and shrinking despite being a few centimeters taller. 

she gasps – almost. “y/n?”

“sana,” you tighten your jaw, feeling a knot in your stomach. “hi.”

“you’re drenched.” she points out the obvious, rushing to pull out a handkerchief in her purse. “come here.” she says, stepping closer. 

you flinch, stepping back a bit and sana frowns.

“it’s fine, it’s nothing.” you assure, feeling stiff in your place. “use it for yourself.”

“i’m not as soaked as you are.”

“it’s fine, sana.” you add firmly, clutching the strap of your bag and wiping water off your cheeks. 

even when you turn back to face the road, attempting to dry yourself with your wet blazer, sana continues to stare. you feel her eyes piercing through you, the same sweet eyes that would look at you like you were her world before you messed up. you want to shrivel up and disappear, every second beside her is grueling.

you make the mistake of glancing back at her again, she’s somehow prettier than two seconds ago – and after a year of avoiding her. 

sana’s wearing a white dress with a white cardigan on top; everything she has on is pretty damp, so you assume she got luckier and found cover quicker than you. she has on light makeup, nothing too crazy, but either way, she’d still have you staring. her hair – now slightly wet – is clipped up with a bow, making her look like some sort of princess. a small sigh leaves your lips as you break away from her.

“the rain won’t stop anytime soon, how will you get home?” she asks you, voice sweet and careful. 

“bus.”

“i heard they’re delayed for thirty minutes.”

“i can wait.” you reply, staring at the ground. “it’s nothing.”

she sighs, then steps closer to you and holds your wrist. she grabs your attention again, both your eyes meeting in eye contact that makes your heartache; she has that effect.

“y/n,” she stays sternly, “i called an uber ten minutes ago, you’re coming with me.”

“no i’m not sana.”

“yes you are.” her grip on your forearm tightens, making you gulp lightly. 

you stare at her through your overgrown, wet bangs that cling to your forehead, sighing softly. the handkerchief she had in her hand now draws closer to your face. she gently uses it to wipe away the water from your forehead, cheeks, and nose. her touch is tender, and her eyes focus intently on you, making your heart flutter in your chest.

surrender is your first option – your only option. 

“okay.”

–

sana’s apartment is as homey as you remember, the same couch you’d talk and makeout for hours on is still clean and fresh. 

she steps in first, kicking off her loafers and walking towards the kitchen island. 

“come.” she says, and you follow without a word, taking off your own shoes and hanging your bag up on the rack you used to.

you follow and sit down at the chair she’d used to sit at when you cooked for her, playing chef and cracking stupid jokes as you fixed her a simple pasta. her place used to be a haven from whatever you had going on, but now it’s dissolving you with every second passing by.

sana disappears for a moment, giving you a brief respite. you take this time to try and recompose yourself, staring at the marble counter in front of you. despite your efforts to push them down, memories you tried so hard to lock away from the light resurface, flooding your mind and making your heart ache with their intensity.

“here,” you jump at the soft sound of sana’s voice, looking up to see her handing you a towel – your towel.

“thank you.” grabbing it, you pat yourself down. sana hands you shorts and a t-shirt, also yours. 

“you never came back to get them.” she mumbles, sitting down next to you and searching for something in your eyes. “you know that?”

“i do.”

“mhm.” she looks even deeper, twisting you from the inside and out. “you should change.”

you nod.

–

by the time you finish changing, you find yourself staring at your reflection in the mirror for a moment too long, lost in a brief moment of reminiscing. shaking off the memories, you finally return to the kitchen, feeling all too much at once.

there’s a candle lit and hot ginger tea on the counter in sana’s favorite mug. she’s leaning against the counter near the stove, staring at her own cup.

you sit down and place both hands on either side of the mug. sana hums softly, “you should drink some, you’ll get sick.”

“it’s fine, i’ll get going soon anyway.”

“no you won’t.”

“and you’re the one who’s in charge of that?”

“stay the night, it’s not like you haven’t before y/n.” she sighs, looking at you with hurt in her features. “besides, i won’t let you go back. if you do, i know just seeing me will prompt you to drink and drink, maybe you’ll even light a cigarette or two if you’re sober enough to pull them out the pack.” she spits, sending a dagger through your chest.

you try to respond, but your throat dries up in the process. instead, you take a sip of the tea, not uttering a single word.

the air is weighed down with a palpable tension, like the elephant in the room sits on top of you two.

she sets her mug down, then walks over to lean against the counter in front of you, watching your head hang lower and hands run to the back of your neck.

“i’m sorry.”

“you should be.”

leaving with nothing but a note, a text, and then blocking her? sana deserves more than a sorry, but she’s grateful that you’re muttering it at all.

“i couldn’t face you.” you feel your throat closing in on itself again. “i don’t want you to be stuck on me.”

“y/n, i love you, nothing is ever going to change that even after you ghosted me.”

the whole reason you did all of that was simple: you’re an insecure, avoidant coward.

sana was and still is set up on a pedestal, one that would take lightyears to climb. she's beautiful, cunning, charming, and caring. you had never known anyone as loving as her. it was dangerous having a person so cozy and warm jump into your life when you've always been so cold and uneasy.

two years with sana were enough to create memories that would make you smile just thinking about them, but they could also send you into a spiral.

lingering in your mind were thoughts screaming for you to leave her, insisting you weren't enough and that she would be better off without you. it wasn’t jealousy of anyone else, you were too clouded with your flaws to care about that; it was the belief that you should dig yourself into a ditch so sana would realize she shouldn’t waste her time on someone like you.

she witnessed your moments of weakness. once a month, you'd drink until you couldn’t formulate a thought, and smoke to avoid confronting your problems and the personal hassles you hid from her. the monthly occurrence turned into a bimonthly thing, and then weekly nearing the end of your relationship. and still, sana would be by your side each time, making sure you were okay.

you were an asshole, and you had to pry yourself away from her somehow.

“just give up sana.”

“y/n,” you feel hands on your cheeks, cupping them and tilting your head up to meet her face sculpted by the angels above. “stop that.”

your brows upturn. “you stop that.”

“i’m not doing anything.”

“that’s the problem.”

sana rubs your cheeks like she used to, her long nail just barely grazing your skin in the process. you sink in your place, eyes avoiding hers.

“we don’t have to talk about it now, but stay. i want you safe, even if it’s just for tonight.”

“don’t do this to yourself, you’ll only hurt more.”

“there’s nothing that hurts more than knowing you’ll have a fever, it’s okay.”

without warning, she leans in, hugging you softly. sana’s warmth and softness envelop you, and you feel like you’ll freeze her, turning her rigid with your coldness.

sana feels your body go stiff, but when she rubs her back, you’re already sinking into her. she’s spent time to take care of herself, but nothing beats the way she cares for you, or just the feeling of being with you.

you had your flaws, but sana saw right past them and into your heart.

even if you didn’t think it, you were sana’s rock. sweet and caring, a sight for sore eyes, and the warmth she needed after a long day. she could talk to you about anything, and you’d be there to listen and soothe her worries, your smile easily easing the tension in her shoulders.

after countless tries (well, two, because sana couldn’t see anyone but you after that setup with momo’s friend on a whim), she had accepted that no one else could fill your spot in her life.

she feels tears soaking the material of her t-shirt, hearing you sniffle lightly into her.

sana pulls away, holding your face again. she looks at you with a mix of pity, regret, anger, and sorrow, maybe a little relief too. you’re back with her, she’s unsure of whether or not you’re still as vulnerable, but it doesn’t matter.

“it’s okay.”

“i’m an asshole.”

“you are,” she agrees, then wipes a tear from your eye. “but everyone has their reasons.”

she lets you stain her shirt with a few more tears before gently coaxing you to join her on the couch. it will take a long time to rebuild what you once had, but sana is willing to try, and you are too—especially when she holds you close, her hand rubbing your back comfortingly.

you’ve always thought you didn’t deserve her. 

but sana won’t let you let go so easily. she refuses to back down without a fight, and neither will you – not this time.

[cynical-ghost]

YEARS AND YEARS

Paring: Charles Leclerc x Fem!Reader.

Genre: One-shot, fluff, secret relationship, friends to lovers.

Warning(s): use of Yn.

Synopsis: They had been friends since they were young, but soon that become more and people started noticing.

A/n: my first one-shot! Sorry if it’s bad, I didn’t know where this was going - not proofread.

Yn Ln had been brought up around racing, she attended every race she could and participated in karting when she was younger. The Ln girl enjoyed her time racing against others and the adrenaline it granted her, but as she grew older she drifted from the race track and moved on to other things.

She still had a passion for racing, even if she wasn’t the one in the drivers seat.

Yn still stayed in contact with her racing friends, they often met up and participated in fun activities or just had chilled out movie nights in one another’s apartments.

The friendship she had with Charles Leclerc had always been a close one, her family had moved from England to their holiday apartment in Monaco when she was four years old to give her a better chance at a racing career when she had expressed her passion for the fast paced sport.

She attended the same school as the boy and they quickly became friends after bonding over their love for racing. The two children had ran over to their parents after school and told them about their newfound friendship which led to play dates and days out for the two families.

As they grew older they became more and more competitive and gained a friendly on track rivalry.

When Yn turned sixteen she started exploring other fields of work such as modelling and music. The time she had reserved for Karting decreased, while her friends were being scouted for bigger racing opportunities like Formula 2

By the time she was eighteen she had stopped racing altogether, spending all her time working on other projects. Charles and herself were still very close, though they did things that usually would not be put in the friendship category.

Every time someone would see them they would always be touching, ether holding hands or sharing to-long hugs. When someone would call the two nineteen year olds out on it they would deny the accusation of them being in a relationship.

The to-long hugs soon progressed into quick, secretive kisses in hidden places, and the hand holding became a permanent attachment.

Their friends shared amused glances with each other whenever they saw the two together (which was all the time), The group of racing drivers and their respective partners came together and devised a plan that would hopefully get the ‘friends’ to spill their not so secret relationship.

~~~~~~~~~~<><><><~~~~~~~<><><><~~~~~~~~~~

Yn Ln was in Ferrari hospitality getting herself a quick snack to eat while watching the race, as she walked out of the building with her Jaffa cakes and a bottle of cherry Pepsi in her hands she was stopped by Max Verstappen as she passed by the Redbull garage as she wandered about to pass the time.

“Yn!” The voice of the man dressed in navy blue called out to her, her head whipped to where the shout of her name had came from.

When the woman saw it was her friend Max a smile tugged at her glossy lips, “Max, shouldn’t you be getting ready for the race?” She asked with a tilt of her head, her words coated with the slightest accent.

The man looked over his shoulder quickly, making eye contact with Kelly, before looking back at the person standing in front of him waiting for a response.

“I am, I just wanted to ask if you and Charles wanted to join me and the others for a few drinks at our hotel.” He asked. “Everyone is coming, it would be a shame if you guys didn’t.” He added, looking over at Lando who was walking by.

The man in papaya smiled cheekily and waved at the two, before running off to his garage so he wouldn’t be late for the start of the race.

“Sure, thanks Max.” Was her quick reply, she always enjoyed when the group got together and had a laugh.

The racing driver bid her goodbye as he strode back over to the team of mechanics.

The race had been a good one, Max coming in at P1 and Charles P2 with Lando joining them on the podium with P3.

After the team celebrations and a quick trip home for outfit changes, Yn and Charles were on their way to Max and Kelly’s hotel, they were both ready to wind down after the busy and successful day they had surrounded by their friends.

They were greeted by the other racers and their parters who had also been invited with hugs and congratulations in Charles’ case.

The group huddled together to get comfortable on the double bed and the few chairs around the room and started to watch a generic action movie picked by one of the racers.

The movie was about an hour in when the snacks that had been brought for the movie night looked to have been ravaged by a pack of wild animals, some of the packaging had even been ripped to pieces by Lando and Carlos who fought to get the last Reece’s (Lando won).

“We need more food.” Lando whined, throwing his head back to look at the others from his place on the carpeted floor.

Oscar nodded in agreement and looked to his girlfriend Lily, who was tucked into his side, to see if she wanted anything, she requested a drink quietly to him, still focused on the movie playing on screen.

“We could go for a few bottles of Coke and a some of chips.” The McLaren driver added his own order to the group.

Everyone looked at each other as to determine who would leave the confort of the hotel room to go and buy the requested food and drink. Soon every pair of eyes except for two landed on Yn and Charles who were cuddled up on a tucked away loveseat.

Yn sighed before standing up to stretch her back “Fine, fine we’re going.” Her voice came out ragged due to tiredness and having not been used for a while.

Charles look up at her from his spot on the couch, the two seemed to be having a conversation with their eyes before he too joined her in standing up.

“We’ll be back soon.” The man stated, his words thick with accent due to lack of use.

As the two left the room, quiet chatter started behind the closed door.

“Did you see the way they were cuddling! They can’t keep denying they are together if they are doing things like that in front of people.” Lando started in a whispered exclamation.

Carlos nodded, agreeing with the McLaren driver, “I noticed that too, they were clinging onto each other since the movie started.”

Charles and Yn walked alongside each other, a bag full of snacks and beverages carried by the man. They had been stopped a few times to take pictures with fans along the way.

“Do you think we are being to obvious?” Yn asked quietly as to not be heard by passers by.

Charles thought for a moment before answering in an equally as quiet voice, “maybe, but do you think it’s time to tell them? I mean we have been dating for almost three years.”

“We should probably tell them.” Yn mumbled, she hadn’t realised it had been so long since they had started dating, times flys when your having fun I guess.

The two reached the hotel room, stopping outside the door to go over the plan to tell their friends they have been together for as long as they have been.

Leclerc and Ln walked in with their hands clasped together. “We have something to tell you all” Charles started.

The group inside the room looked at their hands and glanced at each other. “Is it they you two are dating?” Lando blurted earning wide eye looks from the couple.

“Uh-yeh, yeh we hav-.” The two stumbled over their words having not realised their friends had caught on.

Max let out a wheeze at the sight of their caught out faces, Kelly softly hitting the back of his head before letting out a chuckle herself which caused the rest of the group to laugh at the pair still stood by the door.

Yn and Charles gave a sigh of relief at not having to tell the group of drivers and parters themselves, rolling their eyes at the laughing figures of their friends.

As the laughter sobered up max spoke up “so how long of you two actually been together?” The others staring at them intently also wanting to know.

“Three years….”Charles coughed out.

“Jesus!”

“Did you just forget to tell us or something?!”

Were some of the outraged answers from their close friends. Max looked at Yn’s face and realised that that was actually what had happened. “You really forgot to tell us didn’t you?” He laughed out.

Embarrassed nods were all he got from the pair.

[elliesbelle]

nobody compares to you

chapter 11

pairing: ellie x reader

synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?

content warnings: modern college au, cursing, angst, descriptions of alcohol and underage drinking, mentions of homophobic slurs, descriptions of marijuana use, men being creepy in general, drama between exes, descriptions of an anxiety attack, mentions of nausea and vomiting, minors do not interact

word count: 10.2k

chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen

series masterlist

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Freshman Year, Fall

You’d never been to a college party, much less a frat party. The extent of your knowledge was taught by cheesy and likely inaccurate movies where all the characters were all played by 30-year-olds pushing 40. But after the shit show that was your senior year of high school, you were looking forward to celebrating your newfound freedom through underage drinking and close-quartered gyrating.

Your roommate's name was Tara Maclay, a honey-blonde tomboy who wore baggy clothing and had a foul but amusing mouth. Your first few days involved polite conversation and awkward apologies when you’d accidentally invade the other’s personal space. However, after a late night of deep conversation, you’d discovered that you were both lesbians and felt a friendship click almost immediately.

During yet another freshman orientation, this time for your dorm held by your RAs in one of the lounges, you’d both befriended a few other girls who also resided in your building, Wilson Valley. The first you’d met was a girl named Astrid. She was tall, skinny, and had long black & blonde braids that swayed gracefully every time she moved. You couldn’t help but notice the way Tara eyed her, nudging her playfully to break her out of her slack-jawed loser lesbian stupor.

Astrid had greeted you both sweetly and introduced you to a couple more girls she’d already met: Sidney and Rebecca, who happened to live right in the same hall as you and Tara. Astrid mentioned she had a roommate as well, who couldn’t come to the meeting. You vaguely recalled she said her name was Dina.

After your RAs ended the meeting and dismissed the rest of the residents, your newfound group lingered in the lounge. You continued to chat lightly about nonsensical topics like new classes and room assignments and the campus until Rebecca mentioned a party being thrown the next night.

“My roommate Kristen mentioned that this frat is having a ‘Start of the Year’ party or something tomorrow!” She said, settling into one of the ratty couches. “Not sure if you guys would be interested in that, but I thought that would be cool to go to, even just for the experience.”

Tara grimaced before saying, “An excuse for asshole, predatory frat guys to prey on freshman girls?”

“Could maybe still be fun, though,” Astrid mused. “Nice excuse to get fucked up and all.”

“Well, I guess the free booze isn’t so bad.” Tara quickly said, changing her tune instantly. You chuckled quietly at her.

“What’s the frat?” You asked.

“Uhh,” Rebecca pondered for a moment. “I think… Sigma… something? I honestly don’t remember. I’ll ask Kristen later.”

“All of them just sound the same anyway,” Sidney shrugged, sitting criss-cross applesauce on the carpeted floor next to the couch. “I’m totally up for it if you guys go, though. Good way to be social. I don’t really have friends around here just yet.”

You turned towards her.

“We’re all your friends, so you do now.” You said, smiling at her.

Sidney returned your smile with a wide one of her own.

You’d already set out your desired outfit on your bed for the Sigma Eta party when you sat by your desk, applying your makeup. Behind you, Tara was clumsily rummaging through her clothes, cursing under her breath as she kept changing her mind about her party attire.

“What the fuck do you even wear to frat parties, dude?” She said, throwing yet another unfolded, creased shirt into her dresser.

“Honestly, I don’t really know. I’ve mostly gone to high school theatre cast parties, and I don’t think those really count as real parties.” You replied, lightly brushing a small spoolie through one of your eyebrows.

“Am I supposed to look fucking nice, or—?”

“Just be yourself!” You jokingly said.

Through your makeup mirror, you saw Tara give you an annoyed grimace in the reflection. You laughed.

“That’s stupid ass advice.” She groaned in frustration.

“Sorry!” You apologized in jest. “I mean, you’re not really there to attract guys. Don’t have to be all dressed up and all if you don’t want to be.”

“You’re getting all dressed the fuck up.” Tara pointed out, motioning towards your outfit on the bed.

“I just like looking nice,” You shrugged. “Just for myself, not really for anyone else. Like I said, you don’t have to get all dressed up if you don’t want to. Unless there’s someone you’re trying to impress.”

“I mean, I didn’t say that…” She grumbled, almost indiscernible underneath her breath.

“Oh?” You said, momentarily pausing your makeup routine to turn towards her with an eyebrow raised. “Why? Is there a certain someone you wanna look good for?” You inquired.

Tara refused to meet your inquisitive eyes as she fidgeted with another shirt’s buttons between her hands.

“I knew it!” You laughed, pointing the makeup brush you held in your hand towards her. “You like Astrid!”

“No, I fucking do not!” Tara responded defensively.

“You have a crush on Astrid,” You said in a sing-song voice. “You have a crush on Astrid!”

“Shut the fuck up, dude!”

“You think she’s pretty, you want her to have your babies!” You continued to sing, cackling as you turned back to your desk to resume your eye makeup.

“I will physically fight you, you dick!” Tara warned noncommittally.

“Save all those kinky threats for your new girlfriend.” You chuckled as you effortlessly blended two shades of eyeshadow with one another.

“Ugh,” She groaned as she flopped down on her bed. “She’s so fucking straight though. Like, painfully fucking straight. Like, not just heterosexual. Barbie heterosexual.”

“First of all,” You said as you set down the makeup brush in your hand to grab your setting spray. “Barbie is so gay, so that point is useless.”

“Barbie is not fucking gay, man.” Tara argued.

“Barbie is a lesbian with comphet and Ken is her lavender marriage boyfriend,” You disagree, fanning your freshly sprayed face. “Secondly, Astrid is one hundred percent a dyke too.”

“Did you fucking see her, dude?”

“Yes, I did. I have eyes, Tara.”

“Yes, I do too.”

“But not a good enough gaydar though, it looks like.”

“What the fuck!”

“Trust me, Tara,” You said, turning towards her once more to look her straight in the eyes. “There is not a single straight bone in that girl’s body, I guarantee it. If you weren’t so busy checking her out before, you would have noticed it too. Might have even noticed that she was also checking you out.”

“Wait. Hold the fuck up, seriously?” Tara said, perking up for a second before suddenly looking nervous.

“Dude, this is no time to be a fucking pussy! She’s really pretty and seems to like you back. Just get to know her tonight!”

“You think she’s pretty?” She asked.

“I mean, yeah, of course. She is gorgeous.” You admit. “But you’re okay, I’m not competition. She’s not my type, trust me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, kind of discovered after my last relationship that I’m more into like, masc and butch lesbians.”

“Oh?” Tara said intriguingly, abandoning her search for appropriate clothing to take a seat on her bed. “How do you mean exactly?”

“Well,” You said, twirling your eyeliner pen in between your fingers as you turned in your chair to face her again. “My ex-girlfriend was a little bit more feminine than masculine. And I mean, I guess I was attracted to her in different kinds of ways, but I think that I was drawn more to her personality than her looks.”

You sighed before continuing.

“Which, obviously, I think is very important, but I also believe that you’ve gotta be physically attracted to who you’re with too, you know? Not in a shallow way or anything. But I don’t think I really ever felt that click with her, even at the start. It was just another unrealistic expectation I had of her that ultimately cemented the end of our relationship.”

Tara hummed in understanding.

“So why masculine lesbians, then? I’m just curious as someone who presents more as masculine but who tends to like more feminine girls.” She asked.

You pondered her question for a few moments, considering your response.

“There’s just… I don’t know, there’s just something so bold and alluring about a woman who completely rejects femininity in every possible way. We’re all expected to fill that role of being gentle and ladylike, and I think it’s just so attractive when a girl openly says ‘fuck you’ to that and presents the way she actually wants to, not the way the rest of the world expects of her. I love it when women are exclusively masculine, almost like they’re showing men how it’s supposed to be done. I think it’s just so hot and charming and sexy.”

“Ooh, so you think I’m sexy and shit?” Tara teases, wiggling her eyebrows at you as you conclude your mini-speech.

“No, you’re way too much of a loser lesbian who can’t even tell the difference between a straight girl and a femme lesbian.”

“Hey, not too fucking much now!” Tara said indignantly.

You laughed loudly before going back to applying your winged eyeliner.

A few moments later, you heard a knock followed by Astrid, Rebecca, and her roommate Kristen after you shouted that your door was unlocked. Kristen, a short and perky girl with her dirty blonde hair up in two long pigtails, introduced herself and said that her friend Mina was also tagging along later on, in addition to two other people she didn’t mention.

It was incredibly amusing to you how red and flustered Tara became as a result of Astrid’s sudden appearance. You even felt a little bit giddy yourself when Astrid graciously offered to help pick out an outfit for Tara to wear for tonight’s party.

It wasn’t long after the three girls arrived that Sidney joined the rest of your group, having done herself up a bit as well in a short, pink dress and pieces of curly hair styled to fall from her space buns. You all enthusiastically complimented her and hyped her up, to which she blushed.

You were the last one to finish getting ready, the rest of your new friends every now and again watching you finish your makeup routine as they all chatted animatedly. They all gawked in awe at the way you’d artistically dolled up your face, Kristen commenting that Michaelangelo couldn’t have painted colours the way you did your eyeshadow (to which you humourously and geekily remark that he was more of a sculptor than a painter). The girls all loudly squealed at how expertly you applied your fake eyelashes within mere seconds, you chuckling to yourself at how easily amused they seemed to be.

As all the girls began to pre-game with a bottle of Bacardi spiced rum Kristen had brought, you threw on the rest of your outfit: a long-sleeved, lacy and see-through white top with a black bra underneath, a black mini-skirt with side pockets, and your favourite knee-high black boots. You joined in the drinking festivities before Astrid checked the time and her messages then suggested you all head out to meet Kristen’s friend Mina and head towards the Sigma Eta party.

You all squeezed into a rickety, old elevator located in the middle of the hallway and headed down to the first floor of your building. As the elevator doors opened up to the lobby, Kristen broke off from the rest of the group when she spotted another girl waiting with two guys by the front doors. Kristen squealed happily and gave her a tight hug before introducing her friend to the rest of you.

Mina was a girl with short kinky blonde hair that reached just above her shoulders. She wore a white halter top with dark blue jeans accompanied by black pumps. To her left was a short, brown-haired guy with a plain, blue button-down and a pair of salmon-coloured shorts; to her right was a tall, dark-haired boy wearing an orange Hawaiian shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans.

“Good evening, fellow freshman cuties,” Mina said before gesturing to her hand to her own company, introducing them respectively. “This is Fred, and this is Jesse.”

The two boys smiled and nodded in greeting.

“Mina’s brother actually used to be in the fraternity that’s throwing the party we’re going to tonight before he graduated last year.” Kristen explained to your group.

“Yeah, Fred here is a friend of my brother’s. He was the one who told me about the party.” Mina added.

“Oh, that was really nice of you.” Astrid said, giving Fred a polite smile. He smiled back, not before eyeing her keenly up and down.

“Thought I’d introduce Mina to college life the proper way.” Fred replied cockily, patting Mina hard on the back in a brotherly fashion. Mina rolled her eyes.

“Let’s head out, chicas!” Kristen announced, beckoning your large group towards and out the front doors.

The trip to the Sigma Eta frat house wasn’t very long, but it felt like it to you at the beginning. Tara had broken off from your side when she was able to garner enough courage and nervously converse with Astrid, who was chatting back animatedly while ignoring Fred’s futile attempts to flirt with her. Kristen and Mina were enthusiastically catching up with each other, and Rebecca, who noticed Sidney’s shy and reserved demeanour, began kindly engaging her in a conversation to help her open up and get to know her. This left you to yourself for a while.

You were excited to be branching out socially and making friends, but it was difficult not to feel like you were out of your league in this rather abundant group of acquaintances. Being accustomed to smaller circles of friends and having gone through a recent ordeal with former friends, you weren’t quite sure how to politely insert yourself without seeming like a burden or nuisance.

The other guy Mina had brought along, Jesse, seemed to notice your silent predicament. He was a tall, muscular Asian man who had jet-black hair and kind eyes. You and your friends were approaching a nearby bus stop when he first spoke to you.

“So, this is your first real party, huh?”

You almost jumped, surprised that someone was speaking to you.

“Oh! Umm, yeah,” You responded sheepishly. “Is it really that obvious?”

“A little, but it’s alright,” He chuckled. “I’m Jesse, by the way. What was your name again?”

You smiled meekly as you introduced yourself.

“I’ll be sure to remember that.” He said with a friendly, assuring grin.

You weren’t sure what it was about this guy Jesse, what it was about him that made you like him instinctively. Men generally made you feel uncomfortable, and you almost never had any guy friends. But something in your gut was telling you that he was genuine, someone you could trust.

“So do you go to these kinds of frat parties a lot?” You asked in an attempt to be social.

“Sometimes,” Jesse replied. “Don’t really like this specific frat we’re going to, but I’m supposed to be helping this friend of mine link up with some guy who’ll be there. Do you smoke pot?”

“Why do you ask? Are you a cop?” You joked.

“Oh, absolutely. That is precisely why I am tagging along with a bunch of underage freshmen to a booze-filled shitty, frat party as someone who is also currently underage.” He chuckled.

You smiled at him.

“Yeah, I smoke,” You eventually replied. “I don’t really have a solid plug out here just yet though.”

“Well, my friend is a dealer and the guy we’re meeting up with tonight actually grows nearby, so we’re gonna see if my friend can work with him. She needs to procure some more fresh ‘merchandise’ or whatever.” He said, making air quotes upon saying the word ‘merchandise.’ “If you’re looking for a regular plug, I can introduce you to her later.”

“That’d be perfect, honestly,” You replied. “Don’t know how I’ll be able to get through freshman year of college without the influence of drugs.”

“Trust me, I get it,” Jesse said. “I had to make do with second-rate dealers as a freshman last year ‘cause my old dealer back home is obviously far away. Everyone around here either charges way too much or their shit is completely dry and weak.”

“Damn,” You replied. “But you think your friend’s got better connections?”

“Well, we’re going to see. But she’s real great about finding good strains and shit. Hopefully, things work out tonight.”

“I hope so too. I don’t wanna try and find another dealer out here, and then it turns out they’re creepy or something. And I trust you and your faith in your friend.”

“Yeah?” Jesse said curiously. “That’s very nice of you.”

You shrugged and gave him a warm smile.

The rest of the trip to the Sigma Eta house was much more enjoyable now that you seemed to find a friend in Jesse. You clicked instantly with him: discussing where you were both from, what your majors were, what there was to do around and outside of the campus. He even gave you tips on how to navigate college as a freshman, having gone through it himself already the previous year. It comforted you that this person you’d just met already seemed adamant about looking out for you in a friendly, platonic manner.

As your group walked down the sidewalk that led to multiple houses where other college students resided, you spotted bright, strobing lights coming from a house towards the end of the street. The sounds of loud party music and boisterous chatter grew louder the further down you ventured. You finally came up to a house where several cars were haphazardly and crookedly parked out front and an assortment of other college kids loitered around the porch, most holding red solo cups filled to the brim.

Before you all stepped foot onto the front porch of the house, Astrid suddenly stopped and turned around to face the whole group.

“Hey, can we take a quick pic of all of us attending our first-ever college party? I wanna capture the memory of getting fucked up with my new dorm besties!” She gushed excitedly.

“You know, this actually isn’t my first college party.” Kristen chuckled, but Mina nudged her in the ribs.

“You know what she means, you killjoy. Come on, let’s all take a selfie!”

All the girls gathered together and began to link arms or embrace each other around the waist or drape their arms over each other’s shoulders. You turned towards Jesse, who was texting rapidly on his phone.

“So, selfie time?” You asked him.

“Nah, you guys go ahead. I think I’m gonna go find my friend inside ‘cause I’m pretty sure she’s here already. Plus I don’t wanna get in the way of you and your friends.”

“You’re my friend too,” You asserted boldly. “Come here and get in the picture with us, new friend.”

Jesse flashed you a warm smile and relented without any further argument.

Astrid held up her phone at a 45-degree angle towards the starry, night sky, angling it so she could get the whole group in the frame (except for Fred, whom she made very little effort to include in the picture, him standing at the edge of the group and desperately trying to have his face captured as well). You and Jesse stood right next to each other, and you allowed yourself to put a hand behind his back in an almost half-hug. You let out a partly genuine smile as Astrid said “Cheese!” and snapped a few photos of your group. After she sent the pictures to you and the rest of the girls in a mass group text (which she then promptly named “Wilson Crew ❤️‍🔥” after the dorm you were all living in), you and your new friends finally ventured into the Sigma Eta frat house.

The deafening noise of terrible EDM and the smell of sweat that filled the thick air was almost enough to make you regret coming out. But the rest of your group tittered in anticipation, so you feigned excitement as you all ventured further into the house.

You entered the dining room where a long, wooden table had been turned into a small, makeshift beer-pong court. There were several people gathered around it, whether as spectators or players. You watched as a girl in a ponytail whooped after she effortlessly bounced a ping-pong ball onto the table and into a red solo cup on her opponent’s side. Several bystanders cheered in response as a frat guy on the other side of the table cursed in jest and promptly chugged from the cup.

“Dina!” Astrid mused excitedly, approaching the girl. She gave her a tight hug, which the girl named Dina affectionately returned.

Dina was an incredibly pretty girl with tan skin and black, wavy hair. Beneath thick, dark eyebrows were a pair of beautiful brown eyes that looked extremely warm and welcoming. Being Astrid’s roommate, it’d have been an obvious guess that she was a freshman too like the rest of you. But she exuded this air of boldness and spunk that made it seem like she was a vetted college student. You noticed that several onlookers, mostly men, had been eyeing her shiftily and curiously.

“I thought you said you weren’t coming!” Astrid scolded her playfully.

“Well, I honestly wasn’t, but a friend of mine had been trying to persuade me to come and—” Dina began before breaking off suddenly.

Her eyes had wandered towards your group of friends and fell on Jesse who was standing right next to you. The wide smile on her face faltered as her animated expression turned into one of shocked recognition. You turned towards Jesse who had suddenly gone rigid and stone-faced. You looked back at the girl Dina who blinked back to reality and began to stutter.

“I-I’m g-gonna catch up with you later, okay?” She said to Astrid before making her way towards the back of the house.

“Ah, shit,” You heard Jesse mutter under his breath. “Goddamn it.”

“You know her?” You questioned him.

“That… was my ex-girlfriend Dina. Childhood and high school sweetheart.” He explained.

“Oh, shit.” You uttered.

“Hey, I’m… I’m gonna be right back, okay?” He said to you before quickly heading towards the direction that Dina had gone in.

You watched as he left you behind with your friends who began to gossip amongst themselves curiously about the exchange that had just occurred.

You’d been standing in the kitchen by yourself for the past five minutes, attempting to finish a drink in your hand that you’d reluctantly poured from an orange cooler on the counter. After they’d downed a couple of shots, the rest of the girls had tried to convince you to come to the basement where the dancing was primarily taking place. You declined and said that you needed a minute or two, promising you’d find them later. Though it was still relatively early in the evening, you were already feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated. You’d been faking plenty of smiles and forcing tight-lipped laughter all night; it was getting more tiring to feign excitement, especially now that the new friend you’d made tonight had not made a reappearance since quickly running after his ex-girlfriend.

Sighing, you refilled your red solo cup with the same unknown alcoholic contents from the cooler. You weren’t particularly enjoying the drink, completely confused as to what it was in the first place, but it was at least giving you something to do. As you continued to sip from your cup, you decided to venture towards the backyard where you figured Jesse had walked off.

Squinting past the darkness illuminated by the moonlight and the strobing lights peeking through the house’s windows, you scanned the numerous figures occupying the grassy lawn. You eventually spotted Jesse’s tall, dark silhouette after a minute or two, seeing that he was in a seemingly heated discussion with the pretty girl Dina. Deciding that this was a lover’s quarrel that you probably shouldn’t get in between, you find your tired, aching feet take you back inside the house.

You felt the temperature change back from brisk chilliness to throbbing heat from the pheromones in the musky air. Unsure of where to go, you walked back to the kitchen where you found a couple pressed up against each other in the spot you previously occupied. You grimaced at their pre-coital positioning and how they seemed to be swallowing each other’s faces before retreating from the room. Having no interest in watching the new round of beer-pong that several people had started again in the dining room, you settled for finding sanctuary elsewhere.

Finding an empty spot on a wall in the living room, you leaned up against it and took a generous sip from your cup. Though you didn’t have high expectations beforehand, the night was still going quite poorly. You cursed yourself silently for not having a sufficient social battery to socialize with your friends at the party nor enough courage to endure your overwhelming surroundings. You were contemplating whether you should rejoin the group after all in their close-quartered gyrating in the basement when you suddenly felt an invisible pull from across the room that called to you and compelled your head to instinctively turn in its direction.

Your eyes simultaneously met a pair of ocean green ones. The sounds of terrible music and overlapping chitchat immediately vanished when you saw her. You watched as her eyes scanned your face just as you scanned hers. The handsome stranger began to look you up and down before the left corner of her lips turned up in a crooked smile. Your cheeks burned in bashfulness and you tore your eyes away from her to stare at the ground and take another sip from your drink.

You felt your throat close up, your breathing hitch, and your entire body going up in flames. It felt as if someone had shot you through the chest with an arrow, aiming for and perfectly hitting where your heart was located. You felt utterly bare and naked in front of all these strangers, suddenly prey to a strange emotion that felt completely foreign to you. It was intoxicating, like you were completely wonderstruck within seconds of being in this stranger’s presence.

When you eventually felt her eyes wander elsewhere, you dared glance at her once more. She was incredibly handsome: her auburn hair partly tied up in a bun, cheeks adorned with freckles as if an angel had hand-painted them itself, broad shoulders that suggested a muscular frame underneath an old, brown motorcycle jacket she was wearing. She was sitting on this ratty old couch, manspreading in the middle as she noncommittally nodded at the people standing beside her. Her slender, long fingers were expertly wrapping a few rolling papers on the table in front of her. As she brought a joint up to her lips to lick it closed, her eyes flicked up once again to look at you. Embarrassed that you were caught shamelessly staring, you quickly focused your gaze in a different direction. From the corner of your eyes, you could see her chuckling.

The girl muttered something to her nearby companions before making her way across the room to you. Your drumming heartbeat echoed each of her steps, getting louder and louder in your chest the closer she got. You didn’t allow yourself to look her way again until she was right in front of you.

“Hey.” She said, voice rough and husky.

“Hi.” You responded, trying not to sound too flustered over this extremely attractive stranger approaching you to engage in conversation.

“You all alone tonight?” She asked.

“Not exactly,” You responded truthfully. “My friends are around here somewhere.”

“Oh?” She said, cocking her head slightly to the side as she crossed her arms.

“Yeah. I think downstairs, humping and gyrating with everyone else.” You joked.

She chuckled.

“Not your type of thing?”

“Not really,” You said. “I wasn’t in the mood tonight to get felt up by some horny frat guy trying to shove his limp-dick boner up against my ass.”

The girl let out a genuine laugh accompanied by a toothy grin.

“You’re funny.” She commented. You returned her smile with one of your own.

“Wanna come sit on the couch?” She asked. “You honestly look like you’re about to collapse at any second.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t really the best idea to wear a really nice pair of high heels to some crappy fraternity party.”

“Well, hey, they look good on you, so not a total loss.”

“Yeah?” You questioned, lifting an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” She smirked. “Anyway, come sit with me on this ugly ass couch. I promise I won’t try to shove my dick up your ass or anything.”

“Aww, you’re not? I was going to say yes, but if you’re not gonna shove your dick up my ass...” You teased boldly.

Even under the dim lights of the party, you thought you saw traces of pink appear underneath her freckles as she smiled. You felt your own cheeks burning.

“Come on, pretty girl.” She chuckled, leading you towards the sofa.

She sat back down in the middle but didn’t manspread this time to make room for you to sit comfortably next to her. Her body faced towards your direction, indicating to her companions that she was disinterested in any further conversation with them. Both your hands gripped onto your red solo cup tightly like it was your life-saving anchor. Your body tensed up from being so close to this handsome stranger whose name you didn’t even know yet.

Almost as if she read your mind, she introduced herself.

“I’m Ellie.”

You smiled nervously as you gave her your name.

“So,” She began. “You a freshman too, huh?”

“Yeah,” You hummed. “First ever college party.”

“Oh?” She said, reaching for one of her joints on the table.

“Mhmm,” You respond. “Not really as exciting as people have been making it out to be.”

“What, you’re not impressed by the repulsive smell of jungle juice and shitty trap music and the giant, sweaty orgy going on in the basement?”

“Eww,” You giggled, scrunching up your nose in disgust. “No, I wouldn’t really say that I’m impressed, exactly.”

Ellie chuckled before offering you the joint she was holding.

“You smoke?”

“Yeah, I do. But are you sure? I don’t wanna waste your weed.”

“I never mind smoking out pretty girls for free every now and again.” Ellie shrugged.

You ignored the way your heart fluttered as you placed your cup down and took the joint from her. You ignored the sudden, electric spark when you felt her skin brush against yours. You ignored how her own breathing seemed to hitch at that same moment before she pulled away from you to grab her lighter from a front pocket of her motorcycle jacket.

You placed the joint in between your lips, trying not to think about the fact that Ellie’d just sealed it a minute or two ago with her tongue. Ellie cupped her left hand around the tip while her right hand flicked on the lighter. Your eyes wandered from the budding flame to her eyes, which were already watching you. Her stare caught you off-guard that you almost forgot to inhale. You leaned away from her, both to blow the smoke in a different direction and to nervously catch your breath from how intimately close she was to you.

“So?” She inquired, reclining back and throwing her arm behind you on the back of the couch.

“Mm?” You hummed in question as you took another puff of the joint.

“How do you like the j?”

“Hmm,” You say after releasing another breath of smoke. “It’s… fine.”

“Just fine?” She asked, looking playfully offended.

“What!” You said, giggling and handing her back the joint. “It’s just a regular, old j! What else would you like me to say?”

“What, do you smoke some fancy ass weed with gold and diamonds and shit where you’re from?” Ellie chuckled.

“Sorry! I guess I’m just used to something very particular.”

“Oh, yeah?” She asked, cocking up an eyebrow, the one that you’d noticed had a slit right through it. “What do you mean by that exactly?”

“I usually lace my own js with lavender buds,” You explained. “Makes it taste better, in my opinion, and it helps me relax.”

“Really? Lavender, huh? I’ve never heard of someone doing that before.”

“A little trick I learned from an ex-girlfriend.” You clarified, pretending that you didn’t throw in that last word on purpose.

“That so?” She replied. You could have sworn that she had moved slightly closer the moment you mentioned having an ex-girlfriend.

“Mhmm. Lavender’s my favourite, but I’ve tried lacing them with other herbs and plants too.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“I’ve done rose petals and passionflowers before. Gives them a much better flavour. Sage is good too if you wanna destress and all. And apparently, hibiscus and jasmine are, well…” Your sentence is cut short by a slightly drunken giggle emerging from your lips.

“Are what?” Ellie prompted you.

“Umm, they’re good too.”

“Good for what, exactly?”

You handed the joint back to her before responding.

“I heard that they’re supposedly good aphrodisiacs.” You nearly whispered.

Ellie smiled slyly, taking the joint back without breaking eye contact.

“Interesting” is all she says before taking a huge puff.

Whether it was the mysterious alcohol finally kicking in or the sudden presence of marijuana in your system, you felt a surge of sudden confidence flood your senses. You wanted to impress this strange girl, you wanted her to like you. And yet somehow, it feels almost as if you’d already met before.

“By the way,” Ellie began. “I really love your eye makeup. You did it yourself?”

“Thanks,” You smiled. “Yeah, I did.”

“That’s seriously fucking impressive. I’ve never been into makeup and girly shit like that, but I know it must take a fuck ton of talent to do it.”

“Nah,” You waved off before picking up your red solo cup from the table and drinking from it. “It’s really not that hard to learn. I taught myself how to do it for the most part.”

“That’s even more fucking impressive.” She stated simply. You gave her a sheepish smile before uttering another quiet thanks.

Before either of you could speak again, the guy leaning against the arm of the couch next to Ellie turned towards her.

“Yo, Williams, Chang here yet?” He asked.

“Really don’t know, man. He said he would be.”

“Damn. Call him or something.”

“Call him yourself. I’m not his mother.”

The guy tsked in irritation before returning to a conversation with his companions.

“Nice friends you got there.” You said out loud without thinking.

“We just got a mutual friend in common, that’s all,” Ellie replied, shrugging and taking another puff. “My best friend knows like, half the people who go to this school.”

You nodded in acknowledgement as she continued.

“Most people are usually disappointed that I’m not as nice as him.”

“You’re not?”

“Nah, apparently I’m ‘antagonistic’ and ‘mean’ and just really fucking rude.” She chuckled.

“Doesn’t seem like that to me.” You commented.

“Well, we just met,” She smirked. “Just wait a little while.”

“What, are you planning on being really mean to me in the future, Ellie?” You quipped.

She shrugged and you chuckled.

Both immensely absorbed in your engaging and private conversation, you weren’t quite sure exactly how long you and Ellie were sitting in that dirty living room on that ratty, old couch. You talked about the classes and professors you had in common, bonded over your shared love of music and the instruments you both played, laughed at all of the dumb and silly jokes she made.

At one point in the night, Tara emerged from the basement, all buzzed and sweaty. She scanned the living room, having been worried that she nor none of the rest of your friends had seen you since you’d all first arrived at the house. Upon spotting you sitting so intimately to Ellie, her whispering something in your ear and you boisterously laughing, Tara smiled and retreated back to the basement.

Ellie was beginning to tell you about her hometown when your conversation was suddenly interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Hey, yo, El!” You heard Jesse say from behind you.

You turned around to see a jovial expression on his face that didn’t quite meet his serious eyes. He was smiling in greeting, but it seemed like whatever occurred in the private conversation he had with the girl Dina rattled him in some way.

“Yo, Jess,” Ellie said, waving him over. “Been wondering where the fuck your ass has been this whole time, man.”

“Ahh, well, I kind of… got detained by D…” He admitted as he approached the couch before spotting you sitting next to Ellie. “Oh, shit! You guys know each other?”

“What, you don’t know that we’re lifelong best friends?” Ellie said, winking at you. You turned away as you bit your lip, attempting to hide the smile on your face and the heat rising to your cheeks.

“Now, hang on, I thought we were lifelong best friends?” Jesse gasped playfully, putting one hand on his hip and gesturing between you and him mockingly.

“Sorry dude, I claimed her already.” Ellie said, smirking.

You tried to ignore Jesse’s mumble of “greedy whore” towards Ellie in between loud, fake coughs.

“Anyway, you saw D? Are you okay?” Ellie said, her tone more serious now.

“I mean, I guess,” Jesse sighed. “Thought she wasn’t tagging along tonight, but I guess she did.”

“Sorry, man, I really thought you knew.”

“It’s cool. I was gonna end up seeing her at some point. Might wanna check up on her, though.”

“She okay?”

“I think so, but you know how she can be.”

“Where’d she run off to know?”

“I think she said that she was gonna go hang out with her roommate or something for the rest of the night.”

“I’ll text her, see where she is.”

“Oh, umm,” You said, awkwardly speaking up. “My friend Astrid is her roommate, so I think your friend Dina went downstairs to the basement.”

Both Ellie and Jesse looked slightly taken aback at your short degree of separation.

“Sorry,” You apologized as you looked down at your hands in embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to insert myself.”

“Hey,” Ellie assured, nudging your shoulder with hers. “Didn’t I just say that we’re lifelong best friends?”

You looked up at her and smiled with appreciation at her thoughtfulness.

Ellie, realizing they’d been leaving you out of their conversation, quickly filled in the blanks.

“Our other lifelong best friend Dina got dumped by this asshole joker right here a little while back. It was a bit of a messy break-up.”

“I haven’t always been the smooth and suave man that you see before you today.” Jesse quipped.

“Never have been, dumbass.” Ellie added. Jesse gave her a scowl, which she mockingly returned.

“Anyway,” She continued. “Now I’ve been stuck being the middle man for the past year or so ‘cause these two clowns don’t know how to talk about their motherfucking feelings.”

You chuckled at Ellie’s choice of words.

“I’m sure she’s okay if she’s with your friend, though. This Astrid girl nice?” Ellie inquired.

“Oh, she’s the absolute sweetest.” You affirmed.

“Well, I trust your judgment. I’ll give her some time and check up on her after.” Ellie concluded, giving you a half-smile.

It was so curious how these people you’d known only for a few hours seemed to somehow trust you so intimately and almost blindly. Besides your cousin Rafael who’s known you since birth, you’d never clicked so well with anyone else in your life. You felt a quiet warmth in your chest, feeling as if you had been soulmates with these people in a past life.

“Might as well,” Jesse said, looking down at his buzzing phone. “Eugene’s contact said he’s here. He’s out back if you still wanna talk to him.”

You suddenly felt naive, not realizing sooner that Ellie was the dealer friend Jesse had been talking to you about earlier in the evening. Her previous rolling of papers and multiple joints should have been a dead giveaway, but you were far too mesmerized by Ellie and her charm and her ocean green eyes to give much notice to your current surroundings.

“Ah, shit, I totally forgot,” Ellie cursed.

She looked at you.

“Umm, do you wanna come with? It’ll probably be boring as shit, but—”

“No, no, it’s okay,” You said, waving her off. “It sounds pretty important. Jesse was telling me earlier that you needed to meet up with him.”

Ellie turned towards him, an annoyed look on her face.

“Now, why are you going around telling my business to everyone?” She asked him.

“It’s fun.” Jesse joked. Ellie rolled her eyes.

“If, uh, you wanna stick around, this probably won’t take long. I’ll see you after?” She said guiltily. You gave her a soft smile.

“Ellie, please go ahead. I’m a big girl; I can be left alone for two seconds.”

She chuckled at your words as she stood up from her seat next to you, not before brushing her hand and her knee against yours. You wondered silently if she did so by accident.

“See you in a bit, pretty girl.” Ellie said, winking at you.

You watched as she and Jesse walked off towards the backyard of the house. Once they were out of sight, you sighed quietly.

You realized that you were all alone tonight once again, this time through no fault of your own. Not knowing what else to do, you leaned back into the sagging sofa and pulled out your phone from a pocket of your skirt. As you waited for your companions to return, you scrolled mindlessly through different social media outlets for a while until your entertainment was exhausted and eventually settled on Instagram. After a couple of minutes of looking through your friends’ stories and posts, sending likes and comments every now and again, you see something that suddenly makes your stomach drop.

Still not fully over the results of the disastrous break-up with your high school ex-girlfriend, you hadn’t unfollowed or blocked her on social media just yet. You realized in the moment what a grave mistake that was when you came across a post with several photos of her and all your former friends at some party with a couple of unknown people included. Hot tears formed in your eyes when, while swiping through the many images, you encountered one picture with your ex-girlfriend’s arms wrapped around a strange girl you didn’t recognize. Their physical intimacy and stances suggested something more than just friendship.

You suddenly felt the urge to throw up and you immediately rose from your seat in search of a nearby bathroom. Eventually, you came across a small one towards the front of the house and wrenched it open, feeling lucky that it was presently unoccupied. Leaning over the grimy sink, the feeling of nausea subdued from what you figured was a result of separating yourself from the overstimulation of the party. Still, your hands and neck felt clammy. You felt as if you couldn’t breathe, no matter how hard you inhaled and exhaled.

You raised your head up to look at yourself in the murky mirror. Thick tears threatened to fall from the corners of your eyes. Pieces of hair stuck to your forehead with nervous sweat. Lips were trembling and shakingly releasing laboured breaths.

Leaving your past behind was not as simple as you believed it could be. The past several months had been a personal hell for you, having been abandoned to be lonely and companionless by people you loved. After a messy break-up with someone who suddenly broke your heart, a result of two young, dumb kids attempting to be much more mature than they actually were, your entire friend group ended up choosing her in the aftermath. It left you completely grief-stricken and betrayed, not expecting the people you believed cared for you to cast you aside so quickly and easily.

You’d spent the entire summer after graduating high school healing and recovering from such a loss, and you’d genuinely believed that you came to your new school fully mended. But as you stood in front of a fogged-up mirror in a dingy frat house bathroom, it seemed as if you hadn’t fully overcome your emotional wounds like you thought.

You were dabbing the soggy sweat off your moist forehead when someone suddenly knocked on the bathroom door, causing you to jump.

“Oh, umm, someone’s in here!” You quickly exclaimed. The sound of the same voice you’d been listening to all evening calling out your name from behind the door had you grip the edges of the sink and freeze in place.

“Y-yeah?” You asked falteringly.

“Hey, uhh, i-it’s Ellie.”

“Oh!” You said in surprise. “Hi! Umm, I-I’ll be out in a minute!”

“Hey, uhh, are you okay?” Ellie said after a beat or two.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine!” You cried out unconvincingly.

“Can… can I come in?” She asked hesitantly.

“Oh! Umm—”

“It’s okay if you don’t want me to! If you need space—”

“No, no!” You interrupted.

You took a deep breath, threw out the damp tissue you still held in your hand, and carefully opened the door to reveal Ellie with a concerned look on her face.

“It’s a bit of a tight fit, but, uhh…” You said, stepping aside to let her in.

You backed up to make space for her and sat on the edge of the shabby-looking tub as Ellie closed the bathroom door behind her before leaning her back against it.

“How’d you know where to find me?” You inquired.

“Someone saw you come in here.” She explained.

“Oh” was all you could say in return.

There were several moments of complete silence, neither of you knowing how to start or what to say. It was you who eventually broke it out of nervousness.

“So, umm, how did it go with that guy you were talking to?” You asked awkwardly.

“Oh, uhh, good. At least, I think so. Gave me a pretty good deal and all.” Ellie replied.

You nodded in response.

“So, hey, uhh, if you need a new plug out here…” She pointed a pair of finger guns at you, to which you half-heartedly chuckled.

“Sorry,” She apologized. “I’m not really as smooth as I would like to think.”

“Don’t worry, I still think you’re plenty charming. Dorky, but charming.” You gave her a soft, affectionate smile that she returned as you saw her turn slightly pink underneath her numerous freckles.

“So, uhh, are you okay? I don’t mean to pry or anything, and you don’t need to say anything if you don’t want to—” She began to ramble.

“Ellie,” You said, chuckling. “It’s alright. I don’t mind, and you’re not prying.”

She let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“Just a bunch of bullshit in regards to my ex,” You explained. “Thought I was past it all, but…”

Ellie nodded in understanding.

“Still not over her?”

“Oh, god, no, no, I’m completely over her,” You clarified quickly. “But dealing with the outcome of it all… isn’t necessarily fun.”

“Yeah,” Ellie agreed. “I completely get it.”

You looked up at her with an expression of gratitude.

“Man, this lesbian shit is real fucking messy and complicated, huh?” She quipped in an attempt to lighten the mood. You couldn’t help but giggle at her joke.

“How’d you know that I wasn’t okay?” You asked her after a beat or two.

“The people I was with earlier said that the pretty girl I was talking to suddenly looked stressed and ran to the bathroom.” Ellie explained, shrugging. You attempted to hide your bashful smile as you felt your cheeks go hot again.

“Wanna get out of this disgusting bathroom and go smoke some more?” She asked.

You and Ellie were passing another joint back and forth again several feet away from the Sigma Eta frat house. You’d both taken shelter underneath a nearby tree, listening to the muffled bass drops of yet another bad EDM song currently playing from the frat house. The weed was calming your nerves down slightly, but you had a gut feeling that it was Ellie’s presence that was the actual cause of your peace of mind.

“Damn, I really wanna try your lavender-laced trick now.” Ellie said after taking a hit of the joint.

“I mean, it’s not really my trick. It was my ex’s idea.” You chuckled dryly as you watched her blow the smoke up towards the night sky.

“Oh, fuck that shit. I don’t know her and I know you, so it’s your recipe.” She disagreed. You laughed graciously at her argument.

“Can I ask what happened?” Ellie began, handing the joint to you. “Like, did the bitch suddenly call or text you, or…”

“Nah,” You said after a puff. “She posted something on Instagram and, I don’t know, I guess seeing evidence of her existence triggered something in me.”

“Wait, you don’t have her blocked?”

“No…” You admitted sheepishly. “I still follow her and everything…”

“What!!” Ellie exclaimed. “Why?!”

“I don’t know!” You laughed at her immediate indignation. “I just could never get myself to actually do it!”

“Alright, no more free weed for you!” Ellie proclaimed, swiftly snatching the joint out of your fingertips.

“Noooo!” You whined.

“You’re on a time-out for still keeping your stupid ex-girlfriend in your life in some kind of way!”

“Look, I like to lurk sometimes! I can’t do that if I have her blocked!” You protested, attempting to take the joint back from her.

“Oh, now you’re definitely not getting any more free weed!” Ellie said, holding the joint up and away from your reach.

“How else am I supposed to be a miserable, pathetic lesbian who needs to be sad and tragic if you don’t let me!!” You said, giving up and crossing your arms over your chest in a huff.

“Pretty girls like you should be spending their freshman year in college in their drunken whore eras, not in an ‘I’m gonna sulk over my worthless ex the whole time’ era!”

“Ugh. Yeah, I know, I know,” You sighed. “But that all sounds like so much work!”

“Alright, give me your phone.” Ellie said suddenly.

“What?” You asked, surprised. “Why?”

“Just give me!” She insisted, holding her free hand out.

You pulled out your phone from one of your skirt’s pockets and handed it over to her, eyeing her suspiciously.

“What are you up to, Ellie?” You inquired of her.

“Just hold this!” She replied, handing you the joint. “But no smoking!”

“Yes, sir!” You said with a salute before taking a quick puff.

Ellie rolled her eyes, chuckled, and had you unlock your phone before taking it back to open up your Instagram.

“Okay, what’s your ex’s name?”

“... why?” You asked skeptically.

“Just trust me!”

You squinted your eyes at her before reluctantly giving her your ex’s name and Instagram handle. As you took a generous hit of the joint, you leaned over and watched as Ellie went to your ex’s profile and blocked her.

“Ellie!!” You protested.

“This is for your own good!” She exclaimed.

“Oh god,” You laughed. “Yeah, yeah, maybe.”

“Definitely.” She asserted before typing another handle into your Instagram search bar.

“What are you doing now?” You asked dubiously.

“Replacing your ex with a hotter, much cooler person.” She explained simply before handing your phone back and taking the joint out of your hand.

You looked at your screen to see Ellie’s Instagram profile and realized she’d followed herself through your account.

“Wow. Dinosaur nerd, huh?” You said, noticing one of her posts was of her posing geekily next to a dinosaur skeleton display in some museum.

“Shut up.” She chuckled before hitting the joint.

“Well, are you gonna follow me back?” You asked.

“I don’t know, I don’t really know you that well.” Ellie shrugged.

“You dick!” You scoffed, to which she laughed. “What happened to us being lifelong best friends?”

“Calm down, calm down,” She chuckled, holding the joint between her teeth and already pulling out her phone. “Bossy.”

You felt your phone buzz with a new notification from Instagram.

“There you go,” She said, putting her phone back in her pocket. “Now we’re official lifelong besties.”

You laughed. Your affection for this incredibly handsome and charming girl that you had just met tonight was growing more and more by the second. Every time she laughed at a joke you’d make or stared at your lips a little too long or brushed her skin against yours, you wondered if you were imagining it or if she had been feeling the same spark too.

“Hey, umm,” You began. “Thank you for that.”

“Don’t have to thank me. I’m sure you would have done it eventually. At least, I hope so.” She chuckled at the last part.

“Oh, I don’t know. I honestly hold on to shit like that forever. I would have probably stayed following her ‘til I was I was fifty.”

Ellie laughed.

For the next few minutes, you told her all about the sorry tale of the break-up between you and your ex. As you and Ellie went through and finished yet another joint, she listened to you intently while she leaned against the tree you’d been standing next to. She didn’t interrupt you, aside from an occasional supportive comment or two, intent on letting you rant your pent-up frustrations out.

You hadn’t opened up to anyone else about this, apart from your cousin Rafael. It felt like you had nobody else left to trust your heart with. And yet, there was something so different and familiar about Ellie that made you feel so at home, so comfortable confiding such intimate thoughts and experiences. She happily entertained you as you confessed to her the way you’d never done before with anyone else, her face looking so sympathetic and gentle as she watched you ramble.

“Oh my fucking god,” You eventually said after a while. “I can’t believe I’ve been babbling nonstop about my bullshit, I am so sorry, I—”

You buried your face in your hands in embarrassment.

“Hey, no, no,” Ellie interrupted, pulling your hands away from your face. “None of that. Don’t apologize, please. It’s shit that you obviously have needed to get off your chest for a long time now. I don’t mind listening at all.”

“Okay, but I’m a total stranger who just trauma dumped on you like a dumbass—”

“Alright, no, you are not a dumbass,” Ellie insisted. “And lifelong best friends, remember?”

She gave you a soft smile and began to rub her thumbs against your palms, her warm touch making you tremble.

“Oh, hey, you’re shivering, here.” Ellie said, taking off her motorcycle jacket and placing it around your shoulders.

“Oh,” You said, “T-thanks, Ellie.”

“Looks really good on you.” She commented, smiling. You felt your cheeks go hot again.

“It-it’s very nice.” You said.

“Yeah, it’s my dad’s old jacket. He gave it to me when I was around 14. He used to be a delinquent and was part of some gang or something when he was younger. Rode motorcycles a lot or some shit like that. I’ll tell you more about it one of these days.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Ellie seemed to realize how close she was to your face and how intimately she was holding you. A little sheepish, she walked back a few steps to lean against the tree. She crossed her arms against her chest and, her arms now uncovered, you noticed a large tattoo covering her right forearm.

“I like your tattoo,” You commented. “What is it?”

“Oh,” She said, glancing down at her arm. “It’s a moth with some ferns around it.”

“It’s absolutely gorgeous.”

“Thanks. My ex-girlfriend did the tattoo itself, but I created the design.”

“Woah, really?”

“Yeah.” Ellie said, chuckling at your admiration.

“I know you were telling me earlier that you like to draw, but that really is something.”

“It is?” Ellie replied. You could see her blushing even under the dim glow of the moonlight.

“You’re really talented, Ellie.”

“Nah. I mean, my ex-girlfriend Cat, she did a lot of work making it look better and shit.”

“Still, it’s very impressive.” You insisted. “Do you think— Can I…?”

You extended a hesitant hand out towards her tattooed arm. She smiled warmly as she offered it to you.

“Yeah, go ahead.”

You lifted your outreached hand to trace your fingertips across the multiple leaves decorating her skin. You stared at the intricate design of the Death’s-head hawkmoth that was perched atop the ferns.

“It really suits you.” You said.

“You think so?”

“I do.”

As you continued to stroke Ellie’s tattoo, you felt electricity once again run between you two. You looked up at her to see her ocean green eyes staring at you. You’d never seen anyone look at you that way, not even your ex-girlfriend. You tried to decipher her expression when the moment was suddenly interrupted by your name being called coming from the direction of the frat house.

“There you are!” Tara exclaimed, half-jogging towards you.

“Oh, hey, Tara.” You greeted her, pulling your hands away from Ellie.

“Been looking for you everywhere.” Tara said.

“Sorry, the party was getting a little too much for me. Needed a breather.” You apologized before gesturing towards your companion. “This is Ellie, by the way. She’s Jesse’s roommate.”

“Oh, hey, nice to meet you, man.” Tara said, nodding towards her in greeting. Ellie replied with a nod of her own.

“This is Tara, my roommate.” You gestured to Tara this time.

“Nice to meet you too, dude.” Ellie repeated back to her.

“So, uhh,” Tara began. “Half the group is completely wasted, and Astrid really wants to get rid of that guy Fred who has not stopped trying to grope her all night.”

“Oh, gross. Is she alright?”

“Yeah, she’s okay. But we’re gonna order an Uber and we’re about to head home in a sec. Did you wanna come with or…”

“Oh, umm…” You turned towards Ellie.

“Go on,” Ellie replied, smiling. “I think I’m gonna go find my friend Dina.”

“I’m gonna go gather up the girls.” Tara said, pointing a thumb towards the house. “Nice to meet you again!”

“You too, man.” Ellie said as you both watched Tara walk off.

“Go ahead,” Ellie said, head motioning after Tara. “Go help your friends.”

“Are-are you sure?” You said hesitantly.

“Here, give me your phone again.” She said, holding her hand out. This time, you didn’t hesitate and unlocked it before handing it to her.

You watched as Ellie quickly typed for a few moments before placing it back in your hand. Glancing at the screen, you saw that she’d texted a new contact she’d named “Ellie 😛” with the message “hey sexy” accompanied by a winking emoji.

“Oh my god, you’re annoying.” You said, laughing.

“What, you don’t think I’m sexy?” She replied, grinning.

“Goodbye, Ellie.” You chuckled, walking away a couple of steps before suddenly stopping in your tracks.

“Oh, wait, your jacket—” You said, beginning to shrug off her old motorcycle jacket.

“No, go ahead and keep it.” She interrupted, securing it back onto your shoulders.

“Are you sure?” You asked.

“Gives you a good excuse to see my sexy ass later.” She smirked.

“Shut up,” You said, unable to hide a smile. “You are so annoying.”

“You love it.” She said, smirking once more.

As she adjusted the jacket onto you, you realized just how close she was again. You stared at her and she stared right back. There was a moment or two when you gazed into each other’s eyes, neither saying anything. You felt heat increasingly rising to your face when she suddenly brushed a piece of hair from your forehead.

You found yourself completely unwilling to leave this bubble that enclosed only you and Ellie. It was extraordinary how intimately absorbed you felt in this person you’d only seen for the first time today, how enchanted you felt by merely being in her presence. In just a few hours, she filled your mind completely with thoughts of her and only her. You prayed that this wasn’t a chance meeting but the beginning of something life-changing.

The moment was once again interrupted, this time by Jesse.

“Dude, I was—” Jesse began, but upon seeing what he’d walked in on, his sentence faltered. “Oh, shit, sorry—”

“It’s okay, Jesse,” You assured. “I gotta go, anyway.”

You turned back towards Ellie.

“I’ll, umm, see you soon?” You asked nervously.

“I hope so.” She replied, smiling softly.

You began to walk back towards the house, giving a quick goodbye to Jesse. Once you reached the front porch and before you walked through the door, you turned back to where Ellie and Jesse were standing beneath the tree.

You lifted your hand and waved at Ellie, which she returned with her own soft wave. The look on her face looked completely dazed and awestruck. You bit your lip in nervous anticipation, looking into her ocean green eyes one more time before walking into the house.

After a beat or two, Jesse finally spoke.

“Is she wearing Joel’s old jacket?”

“Shut the fuck up, Jesse.”

author's notes:

i can’t believe this is finally out!! sorry for taking so long to update this, but hopefully how long this is will make up for the time ♡︎

the "barbie heterosexual" line is a reference to a line from the iconique movie "imagine me and you" :)

reader's little spiel to tara about her dating preference is just another little love letter of mine towards masc/butch/stud lesbians. just love y'all so much, you deserve the world.

fred is named after another jackson resident in the actual game (as i've probably mentioned before, all the character names in this fic are purposeful: either named after actual characters or named after people irl). i thought it was a silly little reference for him to go after astrid cause in the games, he's barely mentioned except at one point when it's seen he was paired up with astrid for patrol at one point. i enjoy my little easter eggs :)

the descriptions of most of reader’s friends are slightly based on the physical appearances of some of my irl friends :)

i’ve discovered that i really love making these flashback chapters hehe

like i said, i’m so sorry for taking forever to update this!! my life has been an absolute shit show lately (if you’ve been keeping up with my personal ramblings on here, you know by now lol). but the next few chapters have been basically mapped out already, so hopefully it won’t take me that long to update this with the next chapter ♡︎

taglist: @lonelyfooryouonly, @elliesinterlude, @sawaagyapong, @peppesgirl, @iconsoft, @maybeidohaveadhd, @ellieswifee, @valiantllamapersonpony-blog, @nil-eena, @echostinn

@uraesthete, @softbunlvr, @cherriesxinthespring, @amitycat, @thefishymissy, @yevheniiaaaa, @machetegirl109, @bertandfearnie, @ximtiredx, @efam

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@whenlostinthedarkness, @elsbouquet

[purpledemonlilyposting]

Thanks to one of my supporters for finding this.

Lily admitting she never watched all of She-Ra, only read a plot synopsis and transcripts. She says it's cause the show is "triggering" but I've long suspected this is exactly what she does with every review. She doesn't watch things to completion, or at all, just reads a plot synopsis and looks at random fan commentary on Reddit and bases an entire review on THAT.

[largemovingtorb]

Catra in her new facemask! From my fanfic, She-Ra: Masters of the Universe - a direct sequel to the show!

Illustration commissioned from @miledibuja!

Synopsis:

A year after the Battle of Etheria, much has change while much as stayed the same. Our heros take their first steps into the wider galaxy to "bring magic to the universe." Their journey takes them to a strange First One's temple, there they unknowingly reveal themselves to an ancient evil enemy. They soon face The Outcast, a demon-possessed assassin sent to eradicate the only woman strong enough to stand in the way of a galactic conquest. Adora, Catra, Glimmer and Bow again find themselves fighting against an implacable enemy, their fight taking them taking them from Etheria, to the very stars, and even farther…

The english and spanish links to my fanfic on AO3 can be found here:

She-Ra: Masters of the Universe

She-Ra: Amos del Universo

[laviefantasie]

“Just A Girl” : 03

" GOJO SATORU X PRESIDENT'S DAUGHTER READER "

SYNOPSIS: After insisting so much, you're finally given the opportunity to attend college away from home and feel like a normal girl. It is there that you meet Gojo Satoru, another undergraduate student, and for the first time in your life are shown what having a true connection feels like. Or at least that's what you think...

SERIES MASTERLIST

< prev | next >

The morning light filters through your curtains, casting a soft glow over the room. You’re still clutching the oversized leather jacket you wore back from last night’s hallway encounter, its faint scent lingering in the fabric. Just hours ago, you’d met the mysterious RA, Geto; the kind, laid-back Shoko; and the bright, playful TA Gojo. For the first time since you arrived, you’d felt something close to normal—a taste of real freedom and maybe even belonging.

But the morning brings back nerves. You sit up slowly, feeling the weight of the day ahead settle on your shoulders. New routines, new people, new risks. Determined to try again, you choose something more low-key from your wardrobe: a pair of dark jeans and a cream-colored sweater. It’s simple, comfortable, and miles away from the designer outfits you wore yesterday. A quiet smile creeps onto your lips as you imagine the look on your mother’s face if she could see you now.

Stepping out of your dorm, you take a breath, steadying yourself. Today, you think, will be different.

Your first class is in a sprawling lecture hall filled with students. You scan the sea of faces, searching for an open seat that won’t make you the center of attention. But before you can decide where to sit, you spot a familiar head of striking white hair near the window. Gojo Satoru is lounging at his desk, surrounded by students who hang on his every word as he gestures animatedly, his laughter ringing out across the room. He’s magnetic, drawing attention without even trying.

As you slip quietly into a row of seats near the back, hoping to remain unnoticed, Gojo’s gaze meets yours, and he waves with a grin that’s impossible to ignore.

“There she is! Miss Gossip Girl herself!” he calls out, his voice carrying across the lecture hall. Heads turn, and you feel a dozen eyes fall on you, curious and wary.

For a moment, you freeze, wishing you could disappear. But Gojo’s easy smile and mischievous energy are infectious, giving you the courage to play along.

“Hey, Jack Frost” you call back, feeling a small surge of confidence.

With steady steps, you make your way over, joining the group around him. The students glance at you with mixed reactions—some curious, others reserved—but Gojo’s grin remains unwavering.

“Everyone, this is Y/N,” he announces, introducing you with a dramatic flourish, “straight out of a fashion magazine and here to save us from boredom”

You roll your eyes, a smile tugging at your lips. His easy charm softens the edges of your nerves, making it easier to relax. He proceeds to introduce you to his friends: there’s Shoko, the brunette you met yesterday, who nods at you with a smirk; Mei, a platinum blonde with a calm demeanor and piercing eyes; and Yuuta, a quiet, kind-looking guy who offers you a small, shy smile.

The lecture begins soon after, and as the professor drones on, you notice Gojo sneaking glances in your direction, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. He slips you a note halfway through class—a doodle of you in a royal crown. You bite back a laugh, writing a quick response (Very original, Frost) before passing it back.

When the lecture ends, Gojo immediately ropes you into joining them for lunch.

“Come on, Gossip Girl” he says, nudging your shoulder, “It’s time for your campus tour, courtesy of yours truly”

As you follow them outside, you feel a strange sense of lightness. For once, you’re not ‘the President’s daughter’ or a polished image from a magazine. You’re just Y/N, trailing behind a group of friends as they lead you to a quiet courtyard under the shade of an ancient oak tree.

“So, Miss High Society,” Shoko teases, glancing at you over the rim of her iced coffee, “how’s the college experience treating you?”

You hesitate, tracing the edge of your sandwich wrapper.

“It’s… different” you admit, the words feeling heavier than you’d anticipated “I thought I’d feel like myself here, but it’s hard to shake off… everything else”

Mei, who had been quietly listening, nods in sympathy, “People love to put others in boxes. It’s easier to judge someone when you think you know their story”

Gojo, lounging beside you, nods in agreement, “Exactly. Everyone’s got their own labels. Shoko’s the ‘cool girl’ with her cigarette,” he says with a smirk, dodging the playful punch Shoko throws his way, “And I’m the class clown no one takes seriously”

He grins, his easy confidence radiating as he says, “The trick is to own it. Labels only have power if you let them”

His words hit you harder than you expected. For years, you’ve tried to fit into an image carefully sculpted for you by your parents, the media, and countless eyes watching every move. But here, with Gojo’s teasing and Shoko’s steady gaze, you feel a small glimmer of hope that maybe you could create your own label.

The group falls into a comfortable rhythm of talking and laughter, each person contributing to the relaxed, easygoing atmosphere. At one point, Shoko leans closer, gesturing for you to follow her as she leads the group away from the bustling courtyard.

“Come on” she says with a faint smile, “Let’s go somewhere quieter”

Shoko leads you down a winding path to a secluded grove near a pond. The trees arch overhead, their leaves casting dappled shadows that dance in the sunlight. Wildflowers line the pond’s edge, their colors vibrant against the rich green backdrop. It’s quiet here, away from the noise of campus, and for the first time since you arrived, you feel yourself fully relax.

“Welcome to my personal paradise” Shoko says, lighting up a cigarette as she leans against a tree, “Perfect place to hide from the chaos”

You nod, feeling the peacefulness seep into your bones. This little corner of campus feels like a safe haven—a place where you can let your guard down, if only for a while. You sit by the water’s edge, watching the gentle ripples, and lose yourself in the stillness.

After a while, Gojo breaks the silence, “You know, Y/N, there’s a party this Friday. One of my friends is hosting. You should come”

The suggestion catches you off-guard, and your first instinct is to decline. Parties have always been off-limits—a world filled with risks and flashing cameras. But Gojo’s expression is open and sincere, his casual tone making it sound less like a grand invitation and more like an everyday gesture.

“Come on” he says, noticing your hesitation, “It’s not about making a scene. It’s just a chance to let loose and have fun. You know… college stuff”

You glance at Shoko, who raises an eyebrow, a subtle encouragement in her gaze. Mei and Yuuta both nod, their smiles warm and inviting. There’s a pull, a quiet assurance in their acceptance. Here, with them, you feel like you could be yourself without the fear of judgment.

“Okay” you say finally, your voice steady, “I’ll come”

Gojo’s face lights up with a grin, and Shoko smirks approvingly. As the group heads back toward the dorms, you feel something shift within you—a small, tentative step toward the person you’ve always wanted to be.

⛊ ☼ ⛉ ☼ ⛊ ☼ ⛉ ☼ ⛊

The days leading up to the party are filled with small moments that deepen your bond with the group. You meet Gojo and Shoko between classes, grabbing coffee at the campus cafe, and spend long afternoons with Mei in the library, where she shares stories of her travels and college life. Yuuta often joins in with his shy humor, quietly supportive yet always ready to laugh at Gojo’s latest antics.

One night, after a late study session, you find yourself back in the hallway outside Shoko’s room, wearing your favorite silk pajamas and the oversized leather jacket the RA, Geto, lent you. You knock softly, expecting her, but the door swings open to reveal him instead—the RA, with his dark hair framing a warm smile.

“And who might you be?” he asks, his voice a low murmur that sends a slight shiver down your spine.

You blush, pulling the jacket tighter around yourself.

“I was, um, looking for Shoko” you stammer, feeling suddenly foolish, “But… I can come back later”

Geto laughs, shaking his head, “No worries. It’s not every day I get to see someone looking so cozy in my jacket”

He offers you a gentle smile, his eyes warm and slightly teasing.

Before you know it, you’re inside the room laughing, chatting easily with him about everything from favorite books to the quirks of dorm life. The world outside fades, and you feel a strange comfort in the quiet space between his words. He was a comforting presence, calm and soothing.

You didn’t notice his calculating gaze.

⛊ ☼ ⛉ ☼ ⛊ ☼ ⛉ ☼ ⛊

On Friday night, as you prepare for the party, you slip into something that feels like a balance between the old you from home and the new you blossoming here. A simple black dress, elegant yet understated, paired with boots instead of heels. It’s a subtle rebellion, but it feels powerful to you.

The party is a whirlwind of music, laughter, and lights. You feel Gojo’s presence by your side, a steadying anchor, and the warmth of Shoko’s arm around your shoulder. For the first time, you’re not an outsider looking in.

The party is a whirlwind of music, laughter, and lights. You can feel the energy buzzing in the air, a vibrant pulse that matches the beat of the music echoing through the house. Gojo is by your side, a steady anchor, laughing and introducing you to everyone he knows, which seems to be just about everyone. Shoko throws her arm around your shoulders, flashing you a grin, and Mei hands you a soda with a smile that makes you feel like you’ve always belonged here.

As the night unfolds, you lose yourself in the crowd, the conversations, and the music. You let yourself laugh freely, sinking into the rhythm of the moment. For the first time, you’re not the girl under constant watch; you’re just Y/N, a college student at a party, surrounded by friends.

At one point, Gojo drags you onto the dance floor. You laugh, trying to keep up with his energetic, ridiculous moves as he spins and twirls with exaggerated flair. The two of you dance wildly, abandoning any semblance of grace, and it feels liberating. You’re breathless, grinning from ear to ear, as you finally let go of the last remnants of your usual restraint.

“See?” Gojo shouts over the music, his voice warm and encouraging, “College life isn’t so bad, is it?”

You laugh, shaking your head, “No, it’s… actually kind of amazing”

Just as you start to catch your breath, Shoko reappears, pulling you aside with a knowing smile.

“Come on,” she says, leading you out onto a balcony that overlooks the campus.

The cool night air wraps around you, and you close your eyes, savoring the peace and quiet away from the crowd inside.

Shoko leans on the balcony railing, lighting a cigarette as she gazes out at the stars.

“You know,” she says, exhaling a stream of smoke, “you’re doing pretty well for someone who’s basically a celebrity around here”

You chuckle, shaking your head, “I don’t feel like one tonight. And honestly, I think I needed that”

She nods, a rare softness in her expression, “It’s good to see you like this. You seem… lighter”

A silence falls between you, comfortable and full. The music and laughter from inside fade to a distant hum as you look out over the campus, feeling a strange sense of peace. You take a deep breath, letting the crisp air fill your lungs.

When you return to the party, you find yourself drawn back into the vibrant swirl of people, your laughter blending with theirs, the line between you and them blurred. For the first time, you feel like just another face in the crowd, and that thought brings a profound sense of freedom.

Later, as the night winds down, you find yourself standing beside Gojo near the entrance, saying your goodbyes to the group. Mei pulls you into a quick hug, her smile warm and genuine, while Shoko waves lazily, telling you to meet her for coffee tomorrow.

“Thanks for coming, Gossip Girl”, Gojo says, giving you a lopsided grin, “You did pretty well for a freshman”

You roll your eyes, nudging him playfully, “Thank you for the invitation, Jack Frost. I think I actually had… fun”

He laughs, looking at you with a hint of pride, “Good. Because you’re stuck with us now, whether you like it or not”

You had no idea how true those words were.

As you make your way back to your dorm, the quiet campus feels different somehow. The buildings loom tall and serene, the lights casting soft shadows across the pathways, and you walk slowly, savoring the sense of belonging that still lingers. You don’t even pay attention to Sukuna’s presence near.

When you reach your room, you collapse onto your bed, a smile tugging at your lips as you replay the night’s events. It feels like a turning point, a small but significant step toward the life you’ve always wanted. The world outside your window is vast and open, filled with endless possibilities, and for the first time, you feel like you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

You close your eyes, letting sleep claim you, your heart light and full of hope for the first time in a long time.

TAG LIST: @aishies-stuff @kouyoumarryme @mikyapixie @simbaaas-stuff @ichikanu

Can someone please help me understand why tumblr isn’t allowing me to link my old work on my new one? D:

[beingsuneone]

Part Two!!

Memories & Delusions PART TWO!!

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE

SYNOPSIS: You know Jason is alive know, you aren’t sure how just yet and you aren’t how exactly you’re going to keep his cover and also still see him regularly. There’s still too many complications to deal with.

FANDOM: DC

PAIRING(S): Jason Todd x fem!reader

RATING: G

MENTIONED: Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Alfred Pennyworth, Barbara Gordon, Joker, Ra’s Al Ghul

GENRE/AU: Uhhh a little bit of fluff I guess. It’s pretty subtle on the romance, mostly plot following I guess. Nothing overly angsty. Mentions of being committed to Arkham (just a joking conversation) and Jason is trying it get over the Lazarus pit.

WORD COUNT: 4.4K

WARNINGS: swearing, slightly graphic descriptions of Jason’s murder from him. Not proof read

A/N: jjjajsjakkskskshdhshjsjsis brain

DEDICATIONS: my dumb hyperfixating brain for coming up with this concept at least three years ago. And putting it into words only recently.

CREDITS:

“Why are you being so dodgy lately?” Dick asks skeptically, eyeing you up.

You shrug, trying to play it cool. Jason doesn’t want them to know yet so they won’t. “What do you mean?”

He narrows his eyes at you. “Last week you were losing your mind and now you’re just… fine.”

You take a deep breath in and sigh. “I guess I realized that I was being delusional. I was just missing Jason.” Dick is about to say something else but you wave him off. “I have to go to meet my friend, so I’m heading out.”

Your ‘friend’ was Jason.

You stop to look at yourself in the mirror by the door, toying with your hair and smoothing out wrinkles on your clothes.

Somewhere behind you, Dick mutters: “See, Bruce, she’s being Dodgy.” And Bruce hums in agreement.

You’re apparently not as convincing as you’d like to be.

…..

“How do you plan on breaking the new to Bruce?” You ask, fidgeting with your fingers while he goes through some stuff on his computer. He shrugs in response. You continue. “Or is it that you don’t want to tell him at all?”

Jason's eye twitches subtly, something that you’re surprised you catch. He shakes his head. “I don’t know, Y/n.” He pauses, chuckling dryly. “It’s not like he’d care much to know.”

You recoil. Is that really how Jason thinks Bruce feels about him?

All you can recall is Bruce kneeling in front of his grave, sobbing like you’d never seen an adult sob; or the way he would walk into Jason’s room and stand in the doorway with a forlorn look mocking his features.

You remember the way he’d stare for several minutes before sighing deeply and walking away; he’d usually proceed to lock himself in the batcave and would snap when anyone disturbed him.

“Jason…” you say reluctantly. “You don’t think that Bruce would care if you were alive?” Jason remains silent, so you continue, missing the way his fists clench. “Bruce was… heartbroken for months after your death— we all were.”

Jason stands abruptly. “And yet, none of you were willing to kill the man who brutally murdered me!” He snaps, his voice raised. You flinch a little but try to retain composure; bite your tongue when you have the urge to remind him about your goals when he first died. He continues with a strange expression on his face. “Do you know what it was like to feel a crowbar splitting my skull open while I was still alive?”

The thought makes you sick. Makes you so utterly devastated for what he’s been through. “No, Jason, I—”

He cuts you off by holding his hand up. “If Bruce was ever going to kill someone, it should’ve been Joker; and if he’d really loved me so much it should have been for me.” His tone is much calmer but there is still a chilling effect in his voice that makes your spine straighten.

The look behind his eyes is flurried with an internal battle you can almost see. “Jason, I shouldn’t have—”

“Just go.” He says, finally sitting back. He doesn’t bother looking up at you.

“What?” You stammer, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“Just get out, Y/n.” He snaps once more and that’s all it takes for you to turn on your heels and walk out the door.

…..

You’d been moody and upset for the past three days— you knew you were. You were upset at Jason, upset that he had so much sway or your emotion, and even upset at yourself for bringing something up that obviously triggered him in some way.

Jason was complexities locked inside other complexities, and you were beginning to learn that; what was once simple and easy with him, was now difficult and anxiety-inducing:

You weren’t sure where you laid in his eyes now.

Were you still the same teenage girl in his mind, or, were you the grown version of the girl he liked that had betrayed him.

Did he see you the same way he saw Bruce and Dick? Or even Tim? Was he just holding on the bond you used to have despite his bitter feelings for you now?

And, what made him this way? You know he must have gone through a devastating trauma, but, how far did that really go?

What were the details that Bruce never told you, and just how gruesome were they for him to lock the knowledge away and not let anyone else know the details.

He told everyone that Jason had died, and he had died by the Joker’s hands; when you or Dick had pressed for more information, Bruce had simply told you it was ‘Brutal’ and ‘Something you should never have to know’

But Jason's little outburst must’ve only told the smallest of details about his horrible, horrible death. If that was just the beginning, you couldn’t even imagine the depths of Joker’s cruelty.

You’re brain won’t stop trying though, even as you sit at the kitchen’s bar with a soggy bowl of cereal. You’ve been sitting there for an hour, pushing the stuff around in the bowl but you haven’t actually taken a bite.

“I think we need to send you to Arkham.” Tim says from the other side of the island, breaking you from your Jason-induced trance. You know he’s joking, but you’re pretty Bruce is genuinely considering committing you for your behavior these past few weeks.

You’re more hot and cold than faulty thermostat. Hysterical, and then Happy, and then violently depressed and introspective.

“I do not need to be locked up with a bunch of criminals, Tim. Rehabilitation is clearly not actually happening at Arkham.” You say back, appreciating his giving you something to banter about.

He’s the only one that didn’t know Jason, and that makes him refreshing to be around.

“They aren’t stupid, Y/n.” Tim says, completely unrelated to your response. “Bruce knows you’re still losing it over Jason, you can act fine all you want but Red Hood clearly got into your head.”

You shrug. “If anyone knew him as intimately as I do— uh, did, they’d lose their mind too.” Your eyes drop to the bowl in front of you and scrunch your nose in disgust. You push it away from yourself.

Gross.

Tim shrugs back, because, what else can he really respond with? “I didn’t know him at all.” He pauses, looking out the kitchen's open door. “Wouldn't Bruce have known him as well as you did?”

You shake your head. “No, Tim, me and Jason were… different, I guess. I had a crush on him when we were teens.” You shift in your seat and instinctively reach for the pendant around your neck. “And Dick was doing his whole Titans thing at the time, so they weren’t as close.”

Your sadness subsides and that familiar warmth runs through you as you imagine yourself and Jason laying on the roof, reading your favorite scenes from the book and enjoying the cool summer air.

In the winter, you would go out with a few blankets and huddle extra close; eventually, when your hands would get to cold to read, it would end in the two of you huddling close for warmth (something that Jason had always produced a lot of) and staying there until Bruce would start calling for you.

Your lips twist into a soft smile.

Tim stares at you. “You need help.”

“Speak for yourself, Mr. Force Batman To Have Another Robin.”

….

A tapping at your bedroom window stirs you from the near-sleep state you had been in; your heart pounds as you shoot up and look towards the window. Your heart slows only a few beats per minute when you see a familiar red helmet through the window.

You stand up and unlock your window, letting Jason climb through one side of the double doors.

He sighs through his helmet as he goes to remove it; you hear the familiar series of click and whirs and then he places the helmet on a chair in your room.

“Nice Pajamas.” He says, in a playful sort of way. There’s a healthy dose of something else though, that you can’t quite place.

You look down at yourself. You’re wearing a very thin tank top and some comfy PJ shorts. Not exactly appropriate in front of other people.

“Uh, thanks?” You say as you grab a hoodie from beside your bed and throw it on.

Once you’ve covered up a bit more, you turn back to Jason. “Why are you here?”

He stares at you, his eyes traveling your body for a few moments before they meet yours. “I just wanted to apologize. For the other day.” He takes a step closer.

You cross your arms. “I want to know why.”

Jason cringes. “I snapped yesterday because I’m just not right in the head yet. I still lose control and say things I shouldn’t. My perception of things is so fucked up sometimes I can’t tell what’s real.”

You nod slowly. “But why, Jason? How are you alive, why is your brain messed up?”

He sighs deeply. “I did die.” He says simply, like that really explains anything. You wait for him continue. “I died, and Ra’s Al Ghul threw me in the Lazarus Pit because he owed a favour to Bruce.” The words are spoken so plainly but you understand the pain behind them. “I’m only alive because of a favour.” His tone is so downtrodden, devastated.

You’ve heard about the Lazarus Pit, how it could drive someone to madness— you guess that must’ve happened with Jason.

It was the theorized reason for Gotham’s problem, after all; or rather, theorized by Barbara Gorden.

You supposed that made sense. “My God, Jason, you’ve been through so much.”

Your heart aches for him, for all the things you should have prevented.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.”

“It’s okay.”

…..

The morning light shines brightly through your window, usually your curtains are drawn but there are quite a few unusual things about this morning.

First and most importantly, you have a suited up Jason, sleeping at your side; his arm is wrapped protectively around you.

He looks so beautiful when he’s sleeping; you’re not sure if he ever has restless sleep, but he seems so peaceful and at ease— relaxed, even. It’s nice to see his face unplagued by any of his troubles.

However, according to your clock, it’s almost the time when Alfred would come to wake you for breakfast, meaning Jason had to leave— and fast.

“Jason.” You say his name softly, nudging him awake. He stirs, and his eyes shoot open.

He looks panicked for a moment before your face processes in his mind, then he visibly calms down.

“I fell asleep.” He states, disentangling from you and laying into his back.

You hum, still looking at him. “Yes, you did.” The air is thick with some sort of easy tension, a fading smile, a far-off laugh— a general sense of mundanity that you want to keep forever. “But you have to leave now, if you don’t want anyone else to know your identity.”

“Right.” Jason gets up from the bed and stretches slowly, causing you to do the same.

He turns to grab his helmet— or rather, you see him stop, stare at it for a moment, and then spin back around.

Before you can process it, he’s caging you on your bed. Your eyes close as he closes the gap between the two of you, a swift movement that leaves you barely anytime to think.

When he pulls back, off the bed, and flashes you an easy smile, you think you very well might swoon like you were right out of a 60s television show.

Jason slips his helmet back on and closes it before unlatching the window and stepping out. “Bye, Y/n.”

“Bye.” You stare at the spot where he was standing for a while longer before laying back down in your bed.

…..

“Hey.” You say nonchalantly, coming up behind Bruce.

He’s working on the Batcomputer right now. “Hello.”

“What’cha Doing?” You scan the contents of the screen, and it just looks like feed from the Manor’s many cameras. You aren’t too worried about Jason being seen on them, because he always hacks the cameras and scrubs himself from the data.

“I’m just doing the weekly camera check, Y/n.” Bruce looks back at you momentarily, and then returns to the feeds.

You screw around behind him for a while before you hear a small hum. You look up at the camera, trying to see what has caught Bruce’s attention. The timestamp says it’s from a few nights ago.

You watch as he replays a specific moment.

He replays it a few more times before you finally see it. A familiar flash of red, and then a motorcycle driving away from the manor.

Worse, the flash of red comes from right outside your window.

Bruce enhances the footage and zooms in on what you’re sure is Jason.

“Red Hood was at the Manor three days ago.” He states, looking back at you. “He appears to be leaving your bedroom, did you know about this?”

You pause for a second but shake your head. “No, of course not, I was sleeping.” You pretend to shudder. “That’s creepy to think that he was in there while I was sleeping.”

Bruce eyes you suspiciously but doesn’t protest or question any further. “We’ll have to heighten security in your room. Red Hood obviously chose it for a reason.”

You freeze. “That’s not necessary, Bruce, he didn’t screw with anything, obviously.”

“Even if he isn’t intending to hurt any of us, Y/n, there are several very bad things that could happen as a result of his being able to get into our house. Not to mention, I’ve noticed several discrepancies in our camera feeds over the past month or so.” He gestures to another frame, showing what looks like normal footage, but it’s the same five minutes replaying, according to the timestamps. “If you watch carefully, every minute, on the dot, a bug flies in front of the camera. It’s the same bug and the same flight pattern. If that’s Red Hood’s patch job, he’s not very good at this.”

Your lips purse, and you chew on the inside of your cheek. “That is weird.” You can’t really say anything else without making yourself look suspicious. You’ll have to let Jason know before he thinks about coming around here again.

He goes back to the previous footage, of Jason at your door, and enhances it even more— your window is clear now, and the floor behind it. Bruce rewinds it to the moment that Jason reaches the window. He presses play again, and lets the video play slowly, analyzing Jason’s every movement.

You cringe when you see Jason knock on the window a few times, and you’re terrified for Bruce to see what you know is coming next.

“Bruce!” You blurt, just before you’re about to come into view. “Tim just texted me and said he needed you to come upstairs right now.”

Bruce turns to you, confused. “Did he say what about?”

You shake your head. “No, he just said it was urgent.”

Bruce nods and leaves you alone in the batcave. You have maybe ten minutes until he comes back, knowing that you lied.

You try to fiddle with footage and delete that part that incriminates you, but without Bruce’s password you can’t do that.

Fuck. You don’t know it.

You panic for a minute and then abandon your mission to delete the footage, instead you race upstairs and into your bedroom, throwing together a bag of clothes and other essentials, as well as some sentimental items.

You’re about to sneak out the window when you see the old worn book. You snatch it quickly, along with your phone and car keys.

Bruce’s voice comes from down the hallway, calling your name; it doesn’t matter, you don’t stop until you’re outside and in your car.

You know he’s watching as you speed off, tears welling as you disable the tracking devices in your phones and car. When Bruce finally watches that footage, he’s going to think you betrayed him and you’re going to lose the one place that you’d ever felt at home in.

You’ve never felt so low before.

…..

Tears fall pitifully from your cheeks; you really shouldn’t be this upset.

Jason watches uncomfortably from his chair in his office; you knew he never liked you crying, and he was never great at dealing with it.

All he ever needed to do was be there, though.

“Please stop crying.” He says gently, as he walks over to you. “What happened?”

You shrug, which makes no sense because you know exactly what happened. “I can’t go back to the manor.”

Jason scrunches in confusion and a hint of anger at the conclusions you know he’s jumping to. “What did he do?”

“Bruce didn’t do anything.” Wiping the tears from your eyes, you pull back from him. “He was going over security camera footage and found a camera you forgot to wipe… he hadn’t watched the full thing when I ran out of there but he’s watched it by now, I’m sure.”

“And that matters…why?” Jason obviously doesn’t understand what you’re implying.

You absentmindedly drum your fingers against your wrist. “I very clearly let you in the window in the footage. You didn’t break in, I let you in. Bruce knows that now too.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Jason looks around the office, like there’s something that would help on the walls. There isn’t. His eyes settle back into you, but you’re not looking at his face. “You can stay with me.”

He says it so easily, like it’s only natural— you suppose it is. Nothing had ever been more natural than being with him.

You also think you’d probably like that. “Do you live in this building or…?”

He laughs and then shakes his head. “No, I hijacked one of Bruce’s warehouses a long time ago and have been living there. We can go now, I’m done for today anyway.”

You step out into the hallway and he takes your hand in his; you think that he feels protective around his lackeys, because he doesn’t really like them. He would rather they all fell off the face of the earth, but he knows that won’t happen so he’d rather control where their product is being pushed.

Or that’s what he told you, anyways,

You go down a different set of corridors than you’re used to, and it leads to a garage.

The unsettlingly beautiful woman is standing at the door, she says nothing when Jason pushes the door open and leads you through.

It’s not her job to ask questions, you suppose.

“Do you want to take your car? You can follow me in mine so you know where we’re going?” He suggests, raising his eyebrows at you. “Or I can drive it over for you later and we can just use my car for now.”

“I don’t really feel like driving right now.”

He nods. “Okay.”

…..

“When you said warehouse, I was not expecting this.” You gape, looking around at his ‘apartment.’ “It looks more like a pent-house.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, well, that's kind of what it is.” Jason runs his finger along the surface of his counter. “I believe it was catalogued as a safe house and a warehouse.”

You shrug. “You wiped it from the system, so I wouldn’t know.”

There’s a sort of awkward reluctance dancing around the two of you, like you aren’t sure what to do with yourselves now that it’s just the two of you alone. You haven’t been truly alone with him in such a long time.

“I guess there’s not a whole lot to do here.” He starts again, looking around. “I’m not here much. I usually just end up passing out on the couch in my office.”

You laugh dryly and look around; the whole apartment looks clean and modernist— you personally can’t stand this type of decorating but you don’t think Jason cared much to change how the place had looked when he found it.

There’s a TV, which you’re pretty sure works but it’s gone unused. There is a short hallway with three doors down it right off the living area. It’s mostly open concept besides that small hallway. You lift your gaze upwards, following the tall in-wall bookshelves; you find that there’s a small loft above the two of you and a ladder that leads there.

“What’s up there?” You ask, walking over to the ladder.

Jason gestures up the ladder. “I’ll show you.”

The two do you climb the ladder and you pull yourself onto the loft, feeling a little unsteady.

You notice immediately that the roof looks a little strange just above the platform.

Jason clears his throat and walks over to one of the walls. He hovers in front of a small silver panel. “You know, there’s a reason I chose this one.” He presses a button on the panel while he looks over at you.

A few creaks sound and then some loud mechanical noises sound before the roof panels recede to reveal the setting sun. The sunset is so beautifully visible from the sunroof.

“Jason.” You breath, dumbfounded.

He picks a book off of the floor of the loft. “I used to try to recreate our moments on the roof, but it just wasn’t the same without you.” He flips the book a few times in hands. “And this wasn’t quite right either.”

“I couldn’t handle the rooftop without you.” You whisper, not sure if he even hears you; you try to speak a little louder. “The first time you showed up at the house was the first time I had done it in years.”

“Huh.” Jason responds, sounding nonchalant but you know it means something to him.

“Wait here.” You rush back down the ladder and grab your book, and then head back up. Jason stares at it for a while. You hold it up, and pass it to him. “For Old Times Sake?”

…..

You had sat there with him for hours that day, you watched as the day melted into night and felt as you slowly fell asleep. You and Jason were tangled together, cuddled so close it was like you had never really been apart in the first place.

At some point, you’re drifting in and out of consciousness. Your hands twitch gently and you adjust yourself a bit but you don’t open your eyes.

You’re pretty sureJason still thinks you're asleep because he presses a kiss to the top of your head and then quietly speaks. “I want to do this with you for the rest of our lives.” He pauses and sighs a loaded sigh. “Not just for Old Times Sake.”

You decide it’s probably better to just try to fall back asleep, despite the way your stomach churns. You wanted to respond, and tell him that you wanted to fall asleep like this every night.

Tell him that you wanted to spend every day with him too.

…..

“I just want to know where she is, Red Hood.” Bruce’s voice comes through a little speaker in Jason’s office— it’s a line that Jason had hacked into and clearly Bruce knew that.

Jason scowls and you can’t help but think about Bruce when he does.

When nobody responds to him, Bruce continues. “I want to talk to her.”

You gnaw your lips, wanting to pick it up and say you’ll talk to him but dreading confirming his suspicions.

Jason slips his helmet on and picks up the microphone. He presses the button and says, cooly, “Where would you want me to bring her, Batman?”

You can hear Bruce’s sigh of relief. “The abandoned warehouse near Arkham. You know which one I mean.”

Jason hums. “The one that Joker blew up last month.”

Bruce confirms and then Jason looks at me. “Anything you want to say?”

You shake your head, and Jason picks up the mic again. “Give us a time and we’ll be there.”

And just like that, you were going to see Bruce again.

Great.

…..

“I just don’t understand, Y/n.” Bruce says immediately when he lays eyes on you, despite the fact that he wraps you in a tight hug. “Why would you work with him?”

You pull back and look back to Jason, who’s all suited up, of course. “I—” you have no idea what to say in your defense. “I wasn’t working with him, Bruce.”

Bruce gives you a sort of ‘disappointed dad’ look. “I saw the footage, I know that you let him into the manor.”

“Well, yes, but—”

“So you were working with him.”

“No! It’s not like that!”

You’re starting to get irritated because you know Bruce has absolutely no reason to believe you.

“First, you lied about Tim needing me, and then you tried to delete the footage and then I saw you wildly speeding away from the manor. Do you understand how suspicious that looks? Obviously, you are working with him, Y/n. You don’t have to lie.” Bruce sounds sure of himself. It makes you want to tear your hair out.

“Fine. I was working with him, since you’re so sure.”

Bruce looks between you and Jason, and you can see realization dawn on his face. “Unless… don’t tell me you fell for him just because he reminds you of— Y/n, please tell me I'm wrong.”

Jason steps in this time. “Don’t worry, you’re wrong. Just not in the way you think you are.” Your head snaps back to look at him as clicks his helmet open and pulls it off.

This was the moment. He was finally showing Bruce.

You look frantically between the two of them, trying to decipher the moment.

Bruce stands frozen for a good long while, just staring at Jason’s face before he suddenly locks his arms around Jason's shoulder/neck and hugs him tighter than you’d ever seen Bruce hug anybody.

Jason looks thoroughly disturbed and taken aback. This wasn’t the reaction he was expecting, and honestly, it wasn’t what you were expecting either.

“I didn’t fall for him because he reminds me of Jason.” You say quietly. “I fell for him because he is Jason.”

Bruce pulls back and nods slowly before turning back to Jason. “I’m so sorry, Jason.”

All content belongs to @beingsuneone , do not repost, copy or post on other platforms without my permission.

[madwomansapologist]

a private after party | park yeon-jin

Navigation | More Park Yeon-Jin | AO3

synopsis: It was just a party for award that Lee Sa-ra received. It was huge one, full of important people. But what really mattered was how you and Yeon-jin celebrated when no one was watching.

warnings: red flags? yeah, i've noticed them. smut. rough sex. degradation. praising. thigh riding. choking. s&m. masturbation. alcohol consumption. smoking. cheating (i'm so sorry ha do-yeong you deserve so much better my king). gn!reader is also part of the asshole club.

You both could've say it was an accident. A mistake. That after hours of feasting on whatever Lee Sa-ra mixed in your glasses stopped you both from thinking straight. That it meant nothing.

But that's not true.

It wasn't a mistake. Every second spend with Yeon-jin can't be a mistake. It wasn't the first time, or the second, nor the third. It wasn't a accident. No stupid party or expensive alcohol was responsible for anything.

The fault is on you for getting away from your friends and search for a empty room in that Gallery. The fault is on you for calling Yeon-jin — by dialing her number, because touching her contact would be too easy. The fault is on her for telling Ha Do-yeong to go home earlier, that she just wants to make sure her friends get home safe. The fault is on her for climbing three flights of stairs without once thinking about turning back and heading home instead.

But when Yeon-jin locked the door, the fault was on you both.

"Red wine?" Sitting in one of the armchairs, you smirked. "Are we celebrating?"

"Sa-ra just got awarded," leaning against the door, Yeon-jin held the bottle with both hands. She took a sip, straight from the bottle, and walked over to you. "Of course we are."

You reached out, but Yeon-jin pushed the bottle away from you. She took another sip, looking deep into your eyes, before giving in. After drinking a bit, you put bottle on the corner table. "That's a pretty dress you're wearing."

Yeon-jin rolled her eyes. "I'd look better naked."

"I know you do," you smiled, and once again Yeon-jin got reminded on why she loves you so much. The way your eyes darken when you have fun, your lips curling up when you smile, all your beautiful hair. You have kind words and behaves nicely, but you're just like her. "Still, all I can think about is Monica Lewinski."

Yeon Jin slid his knee against his thigh, and then rested his hands on the armchair behind his body. Her knee came up, pressing against your panties, and the evil smile finally appeared on her face. "You're already drunk, aren't you?"

"You never cared about this before. Neither did I," you licked your lips. You tugged at the hem of your red dress. "You're perfect, but you look even better when you wear my clothes."

Yeon-jin bent down until their noses brushed. You moved forward instinctively, but she decided to explore your neck. You smelled like wine, and tasted like something sweeter.

"He didn't even noticed," Yeon-jin laughed against your skin. "And he thinks he's so smart. So above anyone else."

"I could fuck you in front of him and he still wouldn't understand a thing," you could almost sense her pussy throbing. Yeon-jin has a weak point for talking shit about her husband. "Maybe I should try next time he invites me to dinner with you both. Show him how you need to be treated."

Her eyes got darker. "And how's that?" You don't know how she does that, but she does. And often.

Your fingers tightened around her waist, forcing her to sit on your lap. You grabbed her chin, nails piercing the soft skin. Yeon-jin didn't even realize she rolled her hips against your thights. It was instinctive.

"Like a needy bitch."

Your hand went up to her neck, and you held it tightly. Her gasp vibrated up your arm. "Aren't you even going to pretend I'm wrong?" You squeezed her waist. "Won't you at least pretend not to be my little bitch?"

Yeon Jin shut you up with a kiss. She threw herself against you, her fingers pulling your hair in an attempt to bring you even closer to her, and melted against your body.

You forced her waist down, feeling how soaked the fabric of her panties already was. She leaned on your shoulders, sliding against you. Yeon-jin lifted her dress, exposing her black lingerie.

Yeon-jin has never been the type to ask for what she wants. She just takes it.

You squeezed her body, your fingers marking her ever so sensitive skin. Part of you wanted to really mark her. Sucking her neck, spanking her ass hard, scratching her back. You wanted to mark her as yours, expose to Ha Do-yeong how you managed to take from him the only thing that really mattered. How Yeon-jin was never his, always yours.

"You look so pretty underneath me," Yeon-jin moaned.

But you wouldn't do this to her.

Yeon-jin unzipped your pants, rubbing her fingers against you. With her touching you like that, looking at you like that, you couldn't help but feel complete.

But feel owned.

Yeon Jin drank more of the wine, and put the bottle in his mouth. Wine ran down your chin, dripped onto your clothes, but you didn't care. How could you?

You pulled her by her hair, bringing Yeon Jin's mouth to yours. You kissed her, making her drink the wine in your mouth, and moaned when Yeon-jin's hand became rougher. Less delicate. Just the way she knows you love it.

You're the only one that can make her head get empty. Bringing pleasure to Yeon-jin until that's all she is. A squirming little thing that only cares about having more of you. No one could replace you.

She's the only one that can make you desperate. That can turn you into something simple: into something needy. Someone that craves for her and only her. No one could make you forget her.

Open mouth, empty mind. Yeon-jin melting against your thigh, you breaking apart in her hand. Close eyes, full heart. No other drug can bring you both to ecstasy so easily.

"You're my favorite toy," Yeon-jin whimpered. A needy bitch. Your needy bitch. "My pretty, beautiful doll. You're the only one for me. You know that."

The mark of your nails on her throat were a proof of that. The stained dress on her body were a proof of that. The soaked pantie covering her used cunt were a proof of that. Yeon-jin calling your name at night, sleeping beside her husband, were a proof of that.

You took the bottle from her hand, taking a large sip. Darken eyes, curled up lips, your beautiful hair. Yeon-jin already knew what you would say, even before you opened your mouth. "I know that."

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

[jaeminmp4]

what if we read manga together, then what? (m.lee)

synopsis - you have a love for reading mangas, and you made it your goal to visit your town’s local bookstore to relax after a grueling finals week and to check out the new bungo stray dogs manga that was just put on sale. however, you didn’t think that having a tower display of mangas falling onto you would lead you into having a friendship with the nerdiest (and cutest) boy ever. member - mark lee x fem!reader word count - 3.1k warnings - just some cursing, SOME my hero academia slander but it's not bad i promise!!! genre - college au, fluff, humor, strangers to friends to lovers authors note - wow casually dropping my first written scenario here hehe and it's for your favorite canadian boy, mark lee!! idk i was watching and consuming mark lee content like my life depended on it and it lead to this,, uh monstrosity of a fic, it isn't my best work, but i wanted to put out something before i start procrastinating, hope you somewhat enjoy it at least :D

You definitely weren’t the clumsiest person on the planet, and you knew this for a fact after witnessing your friend Minjeong trip over her own feet and spill the contents of her lunch tray all over the floor. Then when she attempted to get up from the ground, her foot had stepped right onto the apple sauce left on the ground, then she tumbled over again, this time almost hitting her perfect face right onto the tiled floors of the cafeteria. At the time you were too busy laughing at her demise to be of any help. You guessed karma came back to bite you in the ass. Stupid karma.

You had just finished your last exam of the semester and all you wanted to do was rot in your dorm room and sleep until the RA’s kicked you out to go home for break. You, however, didn’t do any rotting or any sleeping. For weeks you had been eyeing up the small bookstore near campus because you knew for a fact that they had just put up a sale for the new volumes of Bungo Stray Dogs and you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see your beloved Chuuya Nakahara. You’d do anything for that red-headed son of a bitch. Which means sacrificing the rest you so desperately needed. You could sleep anytime you wanted now that it was break, but that sale was going to go soon (and you were a broke college student so you couldn’t let this opportunity go to waste), so you needed to get into that bookstore ASAP. You knew that they were closing at 6 pm. But by the time you got back to your dorm room to change it was 4:30 pm and it was a good twenty-minute walk. 

You came barreling through the door of your dorm room scaring the life out of your roommate in the process. You were throwing stuff around the room looking for more comfortable clothes to change into, and to find that stupid discount coupon your literary professor gave your entire class months ago to buy books that would “enrich your mind”. You had scoffed when he turned around after giving you the coupon, stuffing that damned paper into a random pocket of your bag. Now that you needed that coupon it was nowhere to be found. Now, you could go without the coupon but you only had like 25 bucks to your name, and you needed to take what you could get. You were about to give up on your search because you were running out of precious time, that is until your roommate, Yoo Jimin, or Karina as she liked to be called, waltzed up to you with a very familiar paper in between her pointer and middle finger. Your eyes lit up, your hands moving to grab the coupon from her. But Karina snatched it back so fast before you even had the chance to blink. “Hey! Do you even need that coupon? Last I checked the last book you read was your physics textbook but you turned to the first page before nearly bursting out into tears.”, you whined. Karina gives you a dirty look as a warning to shut the hell up, which you do knowing she’s the only one with a coupon.

 “I’ll give you the coupon if you get me a volume of Jujutsu Kaisen.”, she bargained. You give her an incredulous stare, “That’s all you wanted? Okay, that’s fine Rina, but please give me the coupon they’re gonna close in like an hour and won’t be open till Monday, and I need to read something other than a lab report or I’m going to go insane.”, you stressed. Satisfied with your answer and her plan to make you do something for her, she hands you the coupon and blows you a teasing kiss before walking over to her side of the room and plopping onto her bed. Rolling your eyes you scramble to gather the rest of your belongings before running out of your dorm room, the door slamming, giving your conniving roommate her second scare of the day. 

That’s what brings us to present time and your current predicament. You had to run like three blocks to get to the tiny bookstore in your university’s town. It was nestled in between a cafe (which is quite convenient) and an arcade. You stood in front of the building wheezing your lungs out, you attempted to catch your breath so you looked less like a crazed person who was struggling to breathe and more like a normal person getting ready to purchase books. When you entered you had a good forty or so minutes to grab the two volumes, pay, and get out. What could go wrong? 

There were very few people left in the bookstore, only about one or two people that were still perusing the many aisles of books. You knew exactly where the volumes you wanted were located. Gripping the coupon in your hand tighter you walked towards the manga section of the bookstore. This section was by far the smallest section of the entire store and the only place they kept the manga, for obvious reasons. 

You had only taken one step into the section when the strap of your bag decided that latching onto the manga tower was a good idea. Thus bringing the entire display down onto your unsuspecting form. 

You first felt a spike of pain on your backside, and it hurt like a bitch. You looked behind you to catch a glimpse of the cause of the pain and noticed it was that display of My Hero Academia volumes you saw placed right at the entrance of the aisle. Of course, it had to be that god-forsaken manga Chenle and Jisung were talking your ear off about all the time. But like god damn, what were these books made of? You had landed on the ground on your knees in the most ungraceful way possible, and you knew for a fact that you probably had a bad case of carpet burn on your knees. It didn’t help that you looked like an idiot, and it also didn’t help that you were quickly garnering the attention of the other customers in this tiny ass bookstore. Of course, you’d humiliate yourself right when they get a sudden influx of customers. 

You felt your face turn hot in humiliation, and you moved to try to get up to attempt to save yourself from this embarrassment. However, the damn display wasn’t done with you yet and didn’t want to budge. Why was this display all of sudden so heavy? You turn your attention to the people walking over to check out the commotion you created. However, none jumped to your aid. You sighed in disbelief and were about to attempt to get up by yourself again. Before you could, you felt the relief of the heavy display being lifted off of you and you swear to god you could hear the angels ascending down to Earth and singing to you. You turned to look at your savior and you came face to face with the cutest stranger kneeling next to you, his facial expression showing deep concern. He was saying something to you but you were too busy gaping at him like a fish out of water.

He puts one of his hands on your shoulder finally snapping you out of your dazed stupor. The cute stranger’s face had contorted to one of panic, “Did you hit your head too? Do you have a concussion?” You frantically start waving your hands out, shaking your head no, “N-No, I’m fine! Perfectly fine, peachy actually.” you say, your voice cracking by the end of your sentence. The boy next to you doesn’t look convinced but he nods anyway and he lets out a small laugh at the oddity of all of this. You laugh too, one because his laugh is infectious and you couldn’t help but laugh along, and two, you thought it was stupid to think this, but you couldn’t help it, all that was going through your mind was, you didn’t know who to thank for giving you the chance to meet this cute stranger, your incessant love for Chuuya Nakahara or Deku’s silly superhero gang.

Turns out that cute stranger’s name was Mark Lee, an employee of that bookstore. A cute name for a cute human, you had thought. After the whole fiasco, you had gotten an ice pack from him and assurance that he’d be the one to clean up the display you destroyed. You sheepishly told him you didn’t mind cleaning it up yourself since it technically was your fault. But he insisted that a pretty, injured girl like yourself shouldn’t be doing any cleaning at all. That shut you up real quick, a red hue taking over your face. You were just glad he didn’t notice. You ended up staying till the store closed, talking with Mark about different animes and mangas you two enjoyed, and other interests you had.

Karina had texted you a couple of minutes after the bookstore closed wondering where you were. 

rina<3: hey where r u, its been like yearssssss y/n: ive been gone for like two hours max, u’ll survive rina<3: i just want my dose of jujutsu kaisen :/ 

You snicker at the message and shut your phone off choosing to tell her what had happened when you arrived back to your shared dorm. Standing in front of the bookstore, you put your phone into your back pocket. You look up right on time to watch Mark fumble with the keys as he tries to lock up the store for the night. You laugh quietly, who knew the boy who’d come to your rescue was also clumsy, granted his clumsiness was cute and yours was more on the, I’d rather crawl into a hole and die than have to go through that again, sort of clumsiness.

Mark turns around to look at you after he finishes locking up the shop and he gives you a small grin, and you were sure your stomach was a terrarium with the amount of butterflies flying about in there. You barely knew the guy, you seriously couldn’t be forming an infatuation that fast. Right?

 “Y/N, you said you lived on campus right?”, he asked as he walked over to stand next to you. You nodded in response to his question. “That’s great! I live on campus too, it’s sort of crazy how we never really saw each other before though. If you want, we can walk back together?”, he suggested.

You were getting ready to refuse not wanting to waste any more of Mark’s time, at this point, you assumed he was just doing all this to be polite, and if it were you in Mark’s position, you sure as hell wouldn’t exactly be so chipper and willing after having to clean someone else’s mess. But once you glanced over towards him, you were so done for. He was giving you one of those doe-eyed stares, like a cute little puppy wanting something from you. So you folded, like a piece of paper, but like come on, how could you say no to a face like that? That’s how you ended up with an entertaining walk home, an amused roommate, and a new contact in your phone.

Turns out that Jisung and Chenle knew Mark as well. They both had met him in one of their many shared classes (you realize a majority of your friends really enjoy the arts), and they use him as a means to get a discount at the bookstore Mark works at. You wish you had thought of that, but you supposed you already used all of Mark’s sympathy the moment you tumbled down to the ground with his meticulously arranged display of books. Speaking of the bookstore, when both of those two gremlins found out how you two had met they both laughed their big heads off, both boys in literal tears after Mark was finished retelling the encounter. You wish the ground would just open up and swallow you whole but life never wanted to go your way, did it?

You cursed them both out in embarrassment and a bit of anger as Mark sat in between you and the two boys, attempting to cover his small amused smile from you, but it didn’t really work. “Do you find me getting hurt so funny? I’m glad my demise will forever be a joke.”, you lamented. Chenle laughed again, his laugh higher in pitch now, and you had to restrain the urge to reach over the table and throttle his giant head. You felt a slight pat on your back and you looked over to see Mark smiling at you with his cute little smile and you felt your heart melt, “Don’t be too sad, I don’t find it that funny.”

Mark looks at his watch and he looks at it alarmed, he starts hastily getting up from the table you four were sitting at, pulling his backpack onto his shoulders, “Sorry guys gotta go, I promised Donghyuck I’d help him with recording his new cover of some song he found on Youtube.” He turns to look at you, “Catch you later? Heard there’s a new manga coming out soon, maybe we can read it together?” You nod dumbly at his question, Mark sends you one last smile and a thumbs-up before he leaves. His figure moved farther and farther away from the three of you.

Chenle was the first to break the silence. “Have you finished drooling over Mark yet?” You spluttered, “What are you talking about? I was not!” You crossed your arms over your chest as you looked at the boy. He had a shit-eating grin on his face, and you groaned covering your probably red face with your hands. You peeked through your fingers and Jisung was also looking at you expectantly. Okay, so maybe you should have throttled Zhong Chenle earlier.

Being friends with Mark Lee is exhausting, and that’s only one of the many words you could use to describe your friendship, but you didn’t feel like delving more into that territory.

Mark was excitable at times and was always passionate about the things he had an interest in. In your words, he was a huge nerd. So when he found out there was going to be a convention in a town near yours he was practically bouncing off the walls. He had called you at three in the morning with the news, you, on the other hand, answered the phone half asleep mumbling “mhms” and “uh huhs” to his excited rambles.  

When the day of the convention had come, he had convinced you to come along, and even dress up as a character. You decided to dress as Yosano from Bungo. It was a simple outfit really, just a button-up blouse with a black tie, a black skirt, and some black tights. Your hair is adorned with Yosano’s signature butterfly clip. You had to say, you cleaned up nicely. You exited out of your dorm and walked down to the parking area of your dorm’s building.

Mark was supposed to come over and pick you up ten minutes ago but he still wasn’t here. For someone excited about all this, you’d think he’d be the one to come early. You pulled out your phone getting ready to text him, but the boy in question pulled up to where you were standing. Looking up at him you noticed he was dressed up as well, as Ranpo, from his hat, down to his little detective cape. 

That is so adorable. You just wanted to pinch his cheeks at how cute he looked, but you threw the thought out the window. You clambered into Mark’s passenger seat, closing the door trying not to get your skirt caught as you closed it. Mark looked over at you and chuckled, “Hey what are the odds we’re two characters from the same manga?”

You giggled as you playfully hit him on his shoulder, “I literally told you who I was going as ages ago, you literally did that on purpose.” Mark turns to look back at the road as he starts to pull out of the parking lot onto the main road. “Maybe I did.”. he says nonchalantly. You glance at him, “You wanted to be matchy matchy?”, you chirped. He beams at you and nods. You felt those butterflies in your stomach start again, just like all the other times you’ve hung out with Mark, but somehow this felt different. “Any reason as to why?”, you asked slowly. 

Mark sucks in a breath, and you worry you’ve offended him. You start to take back what you had said, but he places a hand on one of yours that was in your lap, and that’s when you notice how clammy your hands were. You were praying to anyone that would listen so that he wouldn’t notice. If he did he didn’t mention it at all but not that that mattered at all because the next few words he uttered nearly knocked the wind out of you, and made you forget the fact that you had gross hands. 

“I like you, Y/N. To be honest, I thought I was being obvious in my feelings for you, but forgive me if I was a little awkward, I’ve never really done anything like that at all.”

You stared at him not knowing what to say, and this felt a little too familiar to your unceremonious meeting, where even back then you had stared at him like he’d grown two heads. Mark was beginning to feel a slight bit uncomfortable under your gaze and started to pull his hand back, “If you... don’t return my feelings that’s fine too! We can forget this happened, stay as friends and we can go back to reading our silly little mangas together.”

You grabbed his hand back and held it in yours. His hand was warm, and it felt nice, and you liked it a lot. “You know, Mark Lee, I like you too, probably a lot more than you think, plus you were quite literally my knight in shining armor.”

“Oh thank god you like me back, I thought you thought of me as some nerd pestering you all the time.”, Mark gushed. You jokingly put a hand on your chin pretending to think, “Welllllllllllll………..” 

“Hey, I was making a joke!”

“I’m just kidding.”, you say, grinning from ear to ear. “So does that mean, you’re my girlfriend?”, he asks giddily. “If you want, I can be.”, you breathed. “Then, it’s official.”, Mark says, while drawing delicate circles with his thumb on your hand.

Mark turns to take another look at you before adding, “I’m glad your clumsy self got nearly crushed by a My Hero Academia display stand.”

“Okay, well now you’ve ruined it.”

[hoaxriot]

FOR THE FIRST TIME

pairings. sirius black x fem!reader

synopsis. years had passed and your daughter was at hogwarts. your husband was out and had not showed himself yet.

notes. this is part two coney island! i also put a name for the kid but you can imagine any other name or gender i just chose this so it would be easier to write. this follows the scenes of the movie in the shrieking shack. idk why i wrote most of the scene but i felt it was important and some things are a bit different.

it had been years since your friends were murdered by one of your best friends and your husband was put in askaban for it. of course, years since you had given birth to your only kid, your daughter— celeste. she had become your entire world after she was born.

you continued to live with remus after because you still needed that help and he was glad to do it. his dream became true and he had became uncle moony.

celeste’s first words were moony and he was thrilled about it, soon after she turned one you moved back home but he was still around. life had started to become better as celeste grew up, everything was okay again. you still missed your friends dearly but after celeste you knew you could not stay in bed all day, she made you happy.

when your daughter started to grow you knew she was a wizard which made you happy. time came around where she could finally understand that other families had a father around and she didn’t.

the right age, you sat her down and explained to her in the best way possible with remus to help.

then it was time for celeste to go to hogwarts and you to become a professor. ever since then, life had been better. your daughter was sorted into gryffindor and she had found herself friends, she was happy so you were too. of course, one of her friends were harry potter which made you happy but he had not know you even though his father was your best friend.

just days before now, you had learned the truth about who killed your friends and who was framed because of remus lupin. that’s how you found yourself running into the whomping willow like you had done multiple times before.

your daughter was in there, you knew of it. you watched as remus shoved the door open and yell a spell. you ran in behind him to see your husband, sirius black on the floor with remus pointing his wand at him. you looked up to see your daughter standing beside hermione with fear struck in her eyes.

moving your eyes back to your husband who was being pulled up by remus into a hug, “i found him!” you heard sirius say causing a frown to come upon your lips. sirius had not noticed you standing behind remus.

“let’s kill him.” sirius said pulling away from the hug, you still stood frozen behind remus. too in shock, your husband was in front of you while your kid was a few feet away from you. sirius was older just like you, he has a beard and he still wore his askaban clothing.

hermione started to yell at remus causing him to turn towards the girl, then sirius saw you. it didn’t feel real the way you stood in front him, you looked the same as you did the night he got taken away. sirius has waited for this moment since then, he saw you look towards the kids. confused he sees you meeting eye contact with one that looked like him and you. was that—

he got distracted by remus and his anger. remus told him to wait after he started to yell.

“i did my waiting! twelve years of it… in askaban!” sirius yelled in desperation causing tears to evade your eyesight and your daughter to flinch.

remus gave his wand to sirius, “very well, kill him. but wait one more minute. harry has the right to know why.” the potter boy started to yell at sirius and remus blaming him for the death of his parents. he had every right to, he didn’t know. then professor snape came in. harry then yelled a spell and he went flying. celeste scrambled back against the wall causing you to look at her in sadness, this must’ve been so confusing for her.

then somehow sirius got rons rat from him and turned him back to what he truly was, peter pettigrew. they dragged him from the hole in the wall, pushing him into the middle of the room. sirius grabbed your hand and pushed you behind him a bit.

of course, peter tried to play nice in some way but he was failing miserably. he also failed at trying to get his way. now you were walking behind the granger girl with your daughter as she held onto your hand tightly. she always thought she would run straight into her father’s arms but neither of you did.

once you climbed out of the whomping willow, sirius put ron down and celeste dragged you away.

“mom, why didn’t you hug dad?” she questioned letting go of your hand facing you, you smiled sweetly at her.

“i wanted to, badly. things were a bit difficult down there.” the both of you laughed lightly. your smiled dropped when you saw sirius making his way to the two of you. celeste noticed your expression and before she could say or do anything you took off in a jog to jump into sirius’s arms.

sirius caught you with a large smile as he wrapped his arms around your waist, clinging onto, all the years he missed with you. you still had the same vanilla smell to you, the same grip you always had on him when the two of you hugged.

there was just one thing different— the kid watching you, the kid who immediately ran into your arms and stayed with you until now. you could feel sirius lose his grip on your jacket, you knew what he was looking at so you pulled away still holding onto his arm.

“c’mere.” you said to him as you pulled his arm towards celeste, you felt her nervousness so you smiled at her.

“sirius, this is celeste,” you saw his smile grow at the name, he had brought the name up one time when you two were talking about kids, “celeste, this is sirius… your father, as you know.” you spoke looking at her, she was quiet which scared sirius until she threw herself into him, very hardly causing him to let out a small ‘hmph.’

nonetheless, he hugged her back. you smiled at the interaction. he then heard her start to cry, your smile dropped a bit but you knew she was just like you and cried at overwhelming times. sirius then brought his hand to her head rubbing it comfortingly. at that action, she gripped onto him harder.

sirius opened his eyes to see your eyes filled with tears, he laughed a bit also knowing how you were, crying when you were happy. celeste heard him and pulled away to see you as a tear fell down your cheek.

“mum!” she laughed at you making you gasp playfully, “don’t mum me, you’re crying too.” you spoke pointing at her tear covered face. she then copied your playful gasp.

“don’t mind me, i just met my dad.” celeste joked causing sirius to laugh, she had humor just like him which made him smile as he laughed. he moved to stand beside you wrapping his arm around your waist.

“let’s go home,” he whispered into your ear but then you were distracted by each other again when remus started to transform causing the moment to be ruined.

that night was only a few nights ago, but now you were sitting in the noble house of black on the floor around the coffee table playing a game with celeste and sirius.

games had become something you and celeste did every night she was home, sirius was more than glad to be apart of that.

he finally had what he has always wanted, you— his wife. a kid who loved him and who he loved, giving her a life he had never once had. he was free and happy.

[ellewritesalright]

Second Best - Part 1

Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Masterlist --- Part 2

A/N: Look, am I starting a new series when I haven't finished nly? Yes, I am. And I would proudly do it again because this story has been in my drafts for so long and I want yall to see it. Hope it's coherent enough :) also, I gave the mc reader a last name :)

Synopsis: When you were a child, the Lantsov king and queen arranged for their second son to marry you, a rich Ravkan noble family's only daughter. After many years, after all the destruction of the war, and after Nikolai was crowned king, Nikolai breaks off the engagement. But the complications of your past and your strict parents make it a nightmare to find a new fiance, so Nikolai promises to help you, yet he slowly realizes the mistake he's made.

Warnings: strict and mean parents, very slight self-image issues because of said parents, kinda confusing and purposefully ambiguous details that will be important later in the story (bear with me please)

Word Count: 1700

..........

It was going to be a very important day, your mother had said. She sat in the corner of the room as a gaggle of maids did you up. Everything needed to be perfect for your meeting with the new king of Ravka. After all, he was your fiance, but there were rumours that he did not wish to marry you.

The engagement was made when you were both children and he was only supposed to be a prince, but now circumstances had changed and he was king of a fractured nation. He would need to marry for the good of Ravka, so a political match would be much more beneficial. You wouldn't blame him if he chose to marry a foreign princess or noblewoman, but your parents insisted that you would be the future queen of Ravka.

"Stop fidgeting," your mother commanded. You straightened out, averting your stare as you mumbled an apology.

It was cold outside the front door of your parents' home in Os Alta. Goosebumps had broken out on your skin and you struggled to not rub some warmth into them. All you could do was wait for the king to arrive. He was more than ten minutes late, but your father had insisted that you all remain standing at the entrance until Nikolai arrived. 

As you heard carriage wheels in the street you swore you could leap with joy that you would soon be allowed inside again, but you stayed perfectly poised. The royal carriage swung around the corner and you felt your heartbeat pick up, kicking into double-time. You pitied any nearby heartrenders, for the thumping must have been utterly annoying; but you came about it honestly.

There was always a fear in the back of your mind that you would be found out. Someone would discover your family secret and you would be exiled from respectable society before you could marry your Lantsov fiance. But you couldn't worry about that now, not when the carriage had stopped and the king was getting out.

If you had been worried about the cold earlier, it was now the farthest thing from your mind. King Nikolai's stare was enough to make your face heat up, and you thought you might burst into flames without a moment's notice as you curtsied to him. He still looked a little like the boy in your faded memory of him, the boy that you met when you were twelve and he was fourteen. He had a boyish countenance, a light-hearted look to him as he stepped out of his carriage.

You were prepared for a bit more resemblance to his older brother, but he was comparatively more handsome than Vasily ever was. His smile was charming and warm, not greasy or snide as his brother's had been; he had a stronger chin than his brother, and really just a better bone structure in general. But perhaps the lack of similarity between him and his brother gave credence to the rumours of his lineage. You often wondered if people thought that way about the differences between you and your parents.

Whatever the case, you were too conscious of the way he didn't offer you his arm as the four of you entered the house to care about any of that. In Ravka it was common for engaged couples to do that sort of thing, even when they were practically strangers, so it seemed the whispers of his detachment from you had some truth.

You settled in the drawing room where tea was presented to the four of you. Mere minutes of small talk passed before your father broached the topic of the engagement. He set down his cup and saucer, leaning back in his seat as he stared at the king. Nikolai had just told an anecdote about the tiring details from his coronation several months ago and your father was ready to pounce.

"I suppose the wedding will be as much of a headache to plan, but this time you'll have my daughter to shoulder some of the weight," he said, a cheerful air to his voice despite the trap he just laid.

"Lord Antonov," Nikolai smiled politely, "I don't suppose you've heard any news from my father or mother."

Your father shook his head, a confused twitch in his brow.

"They were the ones to arrange this marriage, but, as it is, they are not around to see it through. They approved the match back when I was a boy and my father was still king." Here it was. The rumours were about to be verified. Nikolai kept on, "Things have changed since then; I am no longer a boy, and my father is no longer king, so you will forgive me if I would like to drop the agreement that my parents made you many years ago."

"Promises and plans were made, your highness, and they cannot be easily undone--"

"And yet they must be undone." Nikolai levelled your father with a heavy stare. "Ravka needs strong diplomatic ties, and I believe that one of the best options to achieve this is through marriage. I cannot sacrifice the good of this country for an old arrangement made by a party that is no longer in power."

"But what will my daughter do?" Your mother piped up. "She'll have to find a new suitor, but who would want her now that she gets older?"

As much as you would have liked to say that her words did not affect you, you couldn't deny their sting. To your parents, all that their daughter–their only child–had ever been was a bartering chip for well-born men to marry and continue their noble lines, and it showed in your mother's primary concern. If you weren't young, you weren't beautiful, and if you weren't beautiful, who would dare marry you? 

Nikolai nearly laughed. "She is twenty, that is not old. And if you're so concerned that she needs to be married, I will see to it that she finds someone suitable. I know enough barons and marquises who would be glad to marry her."

"For centuries we Antonovs have dedicated our lives--our entire estate--to this country and the Lantsovs, and this is how we are to be repaid?" Your father narrowed his stare. "Have you no honour? That you would go back on your word--some king you are."

If your mother's superficial worries weren't enough to make Nikolai rethink the marriage, insults from your father definitely wouldn't change his mind.

"Father," you gasped as a sorry attempt at admonishment. When you felt eyes on you, you couldn't help but speak, even if your parents wouldn't like what you were going to say. "You should consider the importance of his highness' role in Ravka. If our country needs a political marriage to strengthen diplomatic ties, then perhaps it is for the best that we sever the arrangement you made with the former king."

"My daughter doesn't know what she's saying, your highness," your mother tried to backtrack, but you weren't having it. You'd be in deep shit with them for that first comment, and you figured you should continue since they were already angry.

"If you two are as patriotic as you often say then you would understand that the good of your country comes first. If the king asks you to forgo an old agreement, you should forgo it."

"There you have it," Nikolai said. "The two most important voices in this conversation have spoken." He stood and looked at you. "I must be going now, but perhaps could you walk me out, my lady?"

You stood and set aside your tea, eager to be out of the room. In the hall, you caught Nikolai staring at you. He smiled, looking forward.

"You handled that well," he said.

"I should hope so." You glanced at him. "Like you, I was educated at Ketterdam University where most of my classmates were hog-headed boys who went on and on about the most insignificant topics. I found the best way to assert my voice in the classroom was through a light shaming of those who couldn't figure out when to shut up."

"Very effective," Nikolai remarked, his eyes alight. "What did you study at school?"

"Economics for the most part, but there was also advanced physics as well as debate classes."

"You must have made quite the student." There was approval in his voice.

You held back a proud grin. Men are frightened by smart women, your mother often said. She maintained that you must hold back your brains until after you had a ring on your finger, but because you weren't marrying him, you didn't see the need to hide your intellect. You straightened out and replied, "I was always top of my class."

When you reached the front door Nikolai fastened his jacket and turned to you with a conciliatory smile. "I hope I haven't bent your parents too out of shape."

"They'll get over themselves." But you weren't too certain of your words. You amended, "They'll have to."

"I meant what I told your mother," he said. "I can help you find a fiance. Though I'm sure you wouldn't have difficulty finding one on your own."

You chuckled. "Yes, undoubtedly my mother is already scheming to entrap the next richest bachelor in Ravka into a marriage."

"That's not what I meant." At your quizzical brow, he smiled and fixed the cuffs of his coat. "I only meant to say that you're highly intelligent and quite beautiful. Anyone would be lucky to marry you."

You dared to look away from his hazel eyes, tracing the gold frame of a portrait as you quickly dispelled the heat from your face. When you looked back he was trying to hide a smug smile that told you he knew exactly what game he was playing at. 

"You've scrapped our engagement, and yet now you're flirting with me," you observed with a tsk. "Are you always this contradictory?"

"When the mood strikes me," he said. "Now, it has been a pleasure but I must be getting back to the palace."

You parted ways with a handshake, Nikolai returning home and leaving you to face two very upset nobles.

..........

A/N: Thanks for reading! Feel free to like, reblog, and comment if you want to read more, I really appreciate the feedback! If you want to be tagged in the other parts of this series or to be added to the Nikolai taglist please comment on this part or send me an ask. Otherwise, I hope you have a great day/night :)

Masterlist

Part 2

Nikolai Taglist: @notoakay