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twistedtummies2 · 1 year ago

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Ranking Twisted Wonderland - Part 2

This is the second half of my 3rd Year Anniversary Special! To commemorate me being here on Tumblr, spreading (often kinky) weirdness about Disney’s Twisted Wonderland, I am counting down all 22 members of the Main Cast, from my least favorite to my most favorite. (Meaning no Grim, Staff Members, or Supporting Roles - just the main 22 from NRC). Yesterday, I covered the bottom eleven, from 22 - 12. If you want to see who made up the lower half of the board, you can turn here. NOW...it’s time to look at the Top 12. Like I said in the first half, I genuinely and truthfully love ALL of these lads, and some of these rankings were so ridiculously close, they honestly could have been ties. I didn’t want any ties, though, so take some of these rankings with a grain of salt. Also, keep in mind the game is constantly evolving, so - as time goes on - my love for characters could wax or wane as more about them is unveiled. And for those who follow me for the aforementioned “kinky stuff,” keep in mind that this is NOT a countdown of my favorite kink crushes, but my favorite characters...although, with that said, the two terms are not entirely mutually exclusive. One can certainly influence the other. With all that said, here we go! These are My Top 12 Characters from Twisted Wonderland!

11. Deuce Spade.

Deuce won the duel between himself and Ace, but it was a very close call. At first, I was actually primed to name Ace as the higher-ranking option. After much consideration, however…I realized that, for as much fun as Ace can be, I think Deuce is generally the better, more complex figure of the duo. His backstory is that he used to be a delinquent. He was a member of a street gang, and was more than happy to beat people up and commit all sorts of misdemeanors just for a lark. However, when Deuce heard his mother lamenting and crying over his misdeeds, he vowed to turn over a new leaf. This is easier said than done: Deuce is still somebody with violent impulses and a tendency to think with his fists more often than his mind. But he tries so hard to follow the rules and use his brain, you can’t help but love him. That’s really what makes Deuce such a fun character: there’s a certain dichotomy to him, with him trying so hard to be good, but always having these rough edges. He can be genuinely scary when he decides to throw down, but he can also be sweet, funny, and even downright adorable (especially when his mother gets involved with things).

10. Riddle Rosehearts.

If you know me well, then the character based on the Queen of Hearts making it into my Top 10 should be no surprise. Riddle is yet another character I’ve come to like even more over time than I did initially. I always was fond of this character, largely just because of his inspirational source. But as time has gone on, I’ve become increasingly attached to him. Part of this, I confess, is because his Cards are among the best in my deck in-game, so I rely on him quite a bit in battle; that’s bound to make you feel more attached to a character, by default. But there is much more to admire. In essence, this guy is a control freak, who obsessively demands order and organization. He is intensely focused on his studies, and proficient in his magical abilities, making him one of the highest-ranking students at the school, power-wise. This is despite the fact that he is one of the smallest characters in the game, his height being one of his most sensitive points. Like the Queen, Riddle is a temperamental character, who can go from prim and proper and even rather mild-natured to throwing wild and furious tantrums at the drop of a Mad Hatter’s hat. At times he is childish beyond belief, yet he is at other times a bizarre voice of reason and real authority. His backstory, in my opinion, is one of the most tragic, as his compulsion to follow and enforce the rules and succeed in his tasks is born from a perfectionist streak enforced by an EXTREMELY controlling family life. He never really had time for friends or frivolity when he was growing up, which has resulted in his prideful and mercurial personality. He’s a character I feel so sorry for, and find so amusing and intriguing, and I only come to enjoy him the more I see of him. I still can’t say he’s TOO high in the ranks, simply because I don’t USE him very often, but he’s still more than worthy of a slot in my Top 10.

9. Jack Howl.

This lycanthrope is one of the few characters in the game who seems to be totally original. He dwells in the Lion-King-themed dorm of Savanaclaw, but he has no obvious inspiration from those movies, given that he is a silver-furred wolfman. I would say perhaps he’s based on the Big Bad Wolf, but neither his design nor his personality and dialogue give any indication of that. I’ve seen one or two sources postulate he could be inspired by “Kimba the White Lion” - an old anime that was one of the inspirations for “The Lion King” - but I honestly see even less evidence of that. Wherever the idea of Jack came from, he’s a fun character. Jack is the very definition of what I believe is termed a “tsundere”: these are characters who pretend to be big and tough and unattached, but can never fully hide they have their soft sides. While many characters in the game could arguably fit this mold, none fit it so well as Jack: despite his aggressive, rugged, growly exterior, Jack is really just a little puppy dog at heart. He tries so hard to seem tough and vicious, and to pretend he doesn’t care about anyone, but he can’t hide the way he blushes or wags his tail at certain stimuli. And, infamously, to paraphrase the Bard, “the lupine doth protest too much, methinks.” He’s one of the least nefarious characters in the game, but he always tries so hard to seem more ferocious than he honestly is. It’s adorable, really. Ten-out-of-ten, would adopt this puppy. Ha Ha.

8. Jade Leech.

Just like Ace & Deuce, Jade is one half of a two-part package. In his case, he is one of the Leech Twins: identical twin brothers who are eel-men in disguise, hailing from Atlantica itself. They are based on Flotsam & Jetsam (Jade is the latter of the duo), and act as the henchmen of Azul Ashengrotto, the Ursula character in the game. I’m just going to come right out and say it immediately: THESE. TWO. ARE. FREAKING. TERRIFYING. Forget all of the other characters I’ve talked about so far and will talk about later on, by far the scariest characters in the game are the Leech Twins. Not only is it implied that their father is a literal mob boss, and not only is it more than implied they eat people (to be fair, they aren’t alone in that), but they are both utter sadists who seem to get unspeakable pleasure out of hurting other people just for the sheer sake of it. Of the two, Jade at first SEEMS like the least dangerous, because he puts on a facade of false gentility. He is reserved, intellectual, effortlessly and endlessly polite, and always seems to keep his cool under pressure. Beneath his debonair and dapper demeanor, however, Jade is just as much of a potential pyschopath as his brother. He’s just much better at hiding it. While both Leech Twins have their own funny and soft sides to their characters, it’s how unnerving they are that I admire and enjoy most. It’s hard to say which is scarier, really, but between the two, I think I like Jade SLIGHTLY less, in terms of writing.

7. Floyd Leech.

While Jade hides his monster under a well-polished surface, Floyd (based on Flotsam) is the polar opposite. He is a living paradox, in that he both lives in the moment and lives on the surface, yet you’re not always sure of his motives or reasons for anything he does or says. He both holds no secrets, yet is completely cryptic. Floyd is the very definition of “mercurial”: his moods shift at total random, with no obvious rhyme or reason, making him highly unpredictable. It’s difficult to tell what makes him tick, and where one stands with him. That unpredictability is what makes him fun, because he can be silly and even downright sweet when he chooses to be. However, it’s also what makes him scary: with Jade, you know there’s always something else going on behind those mismatched eyes. With Floyd, you’re never sure what he’s going to do or say next: if he’s going to be playful and childish, or if he’s going to turn into bitter ice and threaten to crush you in his bare arms. Whenever he says he wants to give someone a “squeeze,” you’re not always sure if he’s just going to hug them, or if he’s going to shatter their spine in a constricting grip. I don’t even think HE knows, half the time: he is the proverbial dog chasing cars. The moods are not totally separate, either; he’ll gleefully declare he’ll strangle you even while he’s dancing merrily. It’s the constant back and forth and the freewheeling nature of Floyd that I love most, since trying to puzzle him out is just as fun as being scared to death by him or laughing at his antics.

6. Ruggie Bucchi.

Ruggie is based on the hyenas from the Lion King. (I suspect he’s specifically based on Shenzi, since it’s her face that we see in silhouette, I believe, in his character crest. Take that however you will.) He is the (usually) loyal henchman of Leona, the Scar character, and another multifaceted figure. Much like Ace, Ruggie is a consummate trickster…but he’s almost inarguably much more dangerous than Ace ever could be. Both are pranksters and can be wily in their own ways, but Ruggie’s background is different. For a start, he came from an impoverished background, having to quite literally scavenge for food and scrape by the best he could. He knows how hard the world can be, and while he’s doing better now, he’s still not used to having money or any degree of great status. As a result, Ruggie is both greedy and gluttonous, always thinking with either his wallet or his stomach (quite frequently both at once). While not a brilliant manipulator or chessmaster, he’s a scheming scoundrel in his own right. At times, Ruggie can be friendly, and even downright adorable, given his appearances and his enthusiastic and mischievous nature…but he’s yet another case where appearances can deceive. Ruggie is a predator, through and through, and he makes no secret of it: when he says he’ll eat anything, he also means he’ll eat anyone, and considering he can quite literally eat bones…yeah. Underestimating this hyena boy may be the last thing you ever do.

5. Kalim Al-Asim.

So far, all of the characters we’ve talked about so far have multiple layers to them. They are complex in how they blend darkness in light. Some of them have been generally good souls with a dark side, while many have been dark souls (keep your video game jokes to yourself) with a light side. Kalim is one of the few exceptions to that rule. He is one of only two characters at Night Raven College (the other being Silver) who isn’t based on a Disney Villain. Instead, Kalim is based on the kindly and ever-befuddled Sultan from “Aladdin.” In fact, he’s also one of the few characters who is a direct descendant of his inspirational source, since it’s revealed his family are distant descendants of the Sultan’s own family. (Which I suppose means he’s presumably related to Aladdin & Jasmine, as well. Take that however you please.) Unlike everybody else at Night Raven College, there is absolutely no dark side to Kalim whatsoever. He is the very embodiment of “too pure for this world.” There is not a mean bone in this boy’s over-privileged body; his only sin or crime is that he was raised on a silver spoon, and has no real idea just how lucky he has it! In the Japanese original, Kalim’s canon nickname from Floyd was “Baby Otter,” and I think that tells you everything you need to know about him. Kalim is far from the most complicated character in the story, but that’s exactly why I love him so much: he’s a breath of fresh air, this wholesome and fluffy sweetheart who just wants to make friends and see everybody smile, and has no idea just how bad some of the people around him really are. You just wanna hug him and protect him and then join him at a party. Because Kalim LOVES to party. I love writing for him, and he always brings a smile to my face when I meet him in the game.

4. Jamil Viper.

If Kalim is a purehearted teddy bear of a young nobleman, then Jamil - based on Jafar - is another example of a polar opposite to the precedent. More than perhaps any other character in the game, Jamil is two-faced, through and through. He has lived his life in the shadow of other people, and this has left him with a decided divide in his personality. I like to say Jamil is someone who has a public side and a private side. In public, Jamil is calm, practical, reasonable, humble, and frank. All of this is a sham. In private, Jamil is a half-crazed, power-mad manipulator for whom enough is never enough. All of this is probably making you think, “Well, that’s exactly how Jafar was, so what’s so impressive there?” Well, at least one important thing: Jafar, let’s be honest, was never very good at pretending to be other than what he was. Any facade he put up was really just skin deep; everything from his voice to his design made it clear he was a lying schemer, and the cracks in the armor were numerous. Without his hypnotic snake staff, and the total idiocy of his employer, he probably wouldn’t have gotten very far. Jamil is different: even WITHOUT his hypnosis, he is an EXTREMELY good plotter and is VERY good at lying. With Jafar, the only person who was ever fooled was the Sultan; with Jamil, he can almost fool the Player, and that’s with us knowing what’s really going on because��well…presumably, we know how his source operates. I love how Jamil takes the qualities of Jafar and humanizes them, becoming a more sympathetic character, but also becoming, in some ways, an even more dangerous character. I also have to say, I love how it’s very clear the sprite animation and design work for Jamil really, REALLY took a lot of cues from Jafar; some of his expressions and gestures feel so close to Jafar, it’s kind of hilarious, but in the best possible way.

3. Azul Ashengrotto.

Combine Ursula with Mephistopheles and an old-fashioned mafioso - plus a dash of Ebenezer Scrooge - and you’ll have Azul Ashengrotto in a nutshell. Azul is practically greed incarnate; essentially everything he does is for money, power, and pleasure, usually in that exact order of preference. He’s a miser and a manipulator, who always has some sort of scheme in mind, and makes Faustian pacts that may benefit you if you’re lucky, but will always benefit him even more. There is a sad side to Azul, because his whole personality and demeanor is born out of self-loathing; he grew up bullied and neglected by most around him, taunted and tormented or his weight, his clumsiness, and his crybaby ways. As a result, he has essentially rebuilt his entire life and persona: he tries to present himself as a gentleman of business, always in control of the situation. He is mindful of his weight, trying hard to stay in trim and look more traditionally appealing to the eye. And he does his best to compose himself with debonair and dapper grace and a suave, sophisticated demeanor. Underneath all these practiced constructs, however, he is still the same plump little octo-boy-in-disguise he used to be. In a way, he is a combination of his own henchmen, the Leech Twins: one half of him is Jade, an eloquent sophisticate who likes to be in charge. The other half is Floyd, as he is easily flustered and shows a highly emotional side when things do not go his way. I love how Azul is able to switch tonal gears from being one of the most shadowy and menacing characters in the game, to one of the most sympathetic and sad, to probably one of the most amusing with the combination of his greed and occasional bouts of conflusterification. (Is that a word? It should be.) Plus, I guess I’m just a sucker for his sense of style. (pauses) “Sucker.” With an octo-man. I didn’t even intend that one. ‘XD

2. Malleus Draconia.

Well, when you’re based on my favorite Disney Villain, you’re almost guaranteed to rank highly in my books. Malleus is almost a mascot for this game, much as Maleficent is a mascot for the Disney Villains franchise. He’s another great example of a character with two different sides, but in his case, it’s a little different: it’s less about Malleus presenting one face to the world over another, and more about how other people PERCEIVE Malleus. This half-draconic Dark Prince of the Fae is the single most powerful student at Night Raven. In fact, he’s the most powerful PERSON at NRC, since he is one of the top five most powerful magical beings in the entire world, in this universe. He has a Gothic sense of style and interests: he likes to wander through graveyards, empty old mansions, abandoned castles and cathedrals, and so on. He is a descendant of Maleficent herself, and - according to the Japanese release - seems to emit a strange, dark aura wherever he goes. With very few exceptions, he inspires either mind-numbing terror or reverent awe in anyone he comes across. Malleus knows all this, and he certainly doesn’t mind it - being feared, respected, and known as highly powerful are all good things, and he knows how to use them - but he’s also…well…rather lonely, to be blunt. Part of Malleus’ whole story is that he’s had so few people in his life ho care about him JUST because they care about HIM. He wants people to see him not as a Prince of Darkness, nor as Maleficent’s heir, but simply as MALLEUS. Beneath his grim and at times frightening exterior, he just wants friendship and companionship. He wants to be invited to social gatherings, wants to feel accepted and needed, not just worshiped or horror-striking. In short, he’s frankly the most adorable Master of Darkness you could ever come across. Of course, he IS still a man-eating, superhumanly strong, fire-breathing dragon-fairy hybrid who can literally change the weather just through the sheer power of his emotions and summon forests of thorns with a simple gesture of his hand, so…sweet as he may often be, whatever you do, NEVER PISS HIM OFF.

1. Leona Kingscholar.

If you know me and my relationship with this game well, you knew this was coming. If you don’t/didn’t, then this is probably going to be a surprising first place. While I’ve always liked Scar, he’s actually not one of my highest-ranking Disney Villains; he’s in my Top 15, but not my Top 10, let alone Top 5, which is where most people seem to place him. In a way, Leona Kingscholar - the Scar-based character of “Twisted Wonderland” - ranking at number one can really be seen as a testament to the strength of these characters on their own terms. I don’t like Leona because I like Scar (although that certainly does help): I like, no, LOVE Leona, and it’s simply because I love Leona. Having said that, it’s difficult to explain WHY I love him, since…well…to be perfectly honest, Leona is sort of a jerk. A SCARY jerk, at that: his unique power allows him to turn anything he touches into dust, he’s canonically stated to be a sadist, and - like Malleus, Ruggie, the Leech Twins, and even a couple other characters I failed to mention - he freaking EATS PEOPLE. Not exactly a glowing resume. Yet, something about him just…draws me to him. I think it’s because, for all his nasty qualities, Leona is a character with many interesting layers and soft spots. True, this goes for many other characters in the game, but I think it’s the specifics of how they work that attracts and intrigues me so. First of all, there’s Leona’s intellect: Leona is a certified genius, and probably the second most powerful student at the school after Malleus. The only reason he IS second place, it’s implied, is because he’s also abominably lazy, and despite his incredible power, refuses to put in the effort to really bear fruit, so to speak. He’s also the single most brilliant schemer in the entire school: while Jamil and Azul are crafty plotters, Leona is a chess master, both literally and figuratively. He always has not only a Plan B, but a Plan C and sometimes even a Plan D already worked out for every strategy. His motives are also interesting in how they fluctuate; you can never be entirely sure if Leona is doing something out of the goodness of his heart, or for his own selfish ends. Even if he CLAIMS it to be one or the other, there’s always doubt in either direction. While he is annoyed by and holds resentment towards certain members of his family, he actually DOES love his brother, his nephew, and so on; he’s just not always the best at showing it. Every time you think there’s something he can’t do or can’t feel, he proves you wrong. It is difficult to describe the reasons why I love him in any succinct manner, but regardless, I have no hesitation or question in my mind when I say that Leona Kingscholar is My Favorite Twisted Wonderland Character.

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shadowgamerhalo · 2 years ago

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1 2 9 17 for the writers ask game

Ah thank you for the ask my mutual! Now to answer your questions.

1. Okay it honestly depends if I decided to use Microsoft Word and I tend to like the roboto option. Most of the time I use things like a notepad app or wattpad, so there's not an option to change the font.

2. I mean yes I could, but it would be very tiring and probably take much longer. This is due to chronic pain I get in my hands, and also how many spelling errors I make while off of autocorrect. I did used to exclusively write like this as a kid and teenager, the above reasons are why I moved on to the keyboard.

9. Yes?

17. Okay so i have two works in progress at the moment, one is a fanfic, the other is an original story. I'll try to think of one for each.

Fanfic: It's gotta be what the main character's twin got up to while in different realm while they were separated from each other. I don't go into a lot of detail in the story given that there's less time of being around the twin, while the two are an excellent duo they actually go their separate ways cause they live very different lives by the end. I also find it funny to add that the reason why it's not mentioned is because they were an absolute menace to this realm, and the higher ups of this realm want to deny it as much as possible, due to the fact that the twin is half angel.

The lore behind what happened is that this character is impulsive and louder than their sibling, they pulled pranks, broke shit for kicks, swore at people, caused several riots, found ways to blackmail, cheat, steal, and sneak in the weirdest stuff into this realm, and found ways to escape most if not all the consequences of their actions. And when they had their angel side unleashed, cause it was suppressed like the main character with the demon side, everyone in the realm went collectively 'is this going to chill them out?' And then after 10 seconds of silence realizing that they actually managed to do that, they go back to menace activities, but this time cussing out their father while they were at it.

Original story: One of the main characters has 15 exes. This is never explained farther than, 'I dated around a lot in college' when the character meets another one of their exes by pure chance. This is also elevated for the comedic effect, because of initial impression of them is that they don't appear like someone who would have dated that many people.

The lore behind this is yes some of them from college, they are stretching what they mean by college for the rest of them. The rest of them dating for varying reasons, but they all shared one thing in common, they all lived in the same apartment complex. This is also the reason why the character doesn't live there anymore, when your neighbors realize that they all have dated the same neighbor, shit hits the fan real quick.

No cheating happened, but plenty of heartbreak did. This also the main thing they all bonded over and how they eventually formed their own polyamorous polycule, given this is what they first deeply and actively talked about to each other, outside of greetings and talks about the weather.

As of right now I haven't fully figured out the details of the why of the breakups. But I do know is the main character refuses to mention how things went down, because they were messy as hell, to the point where it effects both parties to this day.

Not because the main character is some sort of heartbreaking dick, but more of the tales of dating people who aren't right for you in that moment of your life. This aspect is apart of their character arc, due to the fact that's the general reason why they have so many exes and why they are a loner, but the details behind it aren't going to get touched on. This is to emphasize that there's things you just don't learn about people even if you're really close to them, yes you learn a lot, but people are ever changing and ever growing, some details aren't going to get mentioned and that's okay. You don't need to know everything about someone, especially the details they don't want to mention or talk about.

Also I like it when people theorize about characters and figure out their own headcanons for the details not given. Gives them more room to work with if they love the character if there's some spots that aren't explained.

For the college exes, details are given sparsely cause yes the same line of person not right for you dating wise, but I wanted the college ones to have more comedic aspects of what happened, and those exes are less hurt by the breakups.

#writing ask game #writing #fanfic questions #original story questions #shade speaks

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adorabledestruction · 15 hours ago

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Hi I have some answers and some theories

First part that might clear things up about the sea of quanta, and about Akivili.

Thanks to the star rail crossover we now know that the worlds of HSR and the solar system of HI3 are on the same branch. It means we're back to "travel between branches is basically impossible and the imaginary tree actively stops it, we have few if any instances of it happening" because we found out that Welt and Void archives didn't actually manage to do it and were actually in the same universe.

Its true that the other branches on the tree probably haven't been visited by Akivili, in fact one of the in universe rumors about their death is that what actually happened was they figured out how to and went missing bc they ran off to go explore the rest of the multiverse.

If Hi3 was a separate universe than HSR, yeah it wouldn't be surprising that Akivili hasn't visited, but since its the same universe that means its one of the few solar systems that hasn't been found yet in Akivili's home universe after Akivili spent hundreds of thousands of years in it being the cosmic god of exploration, that's why its surprising and unusual.

Bubble universes can just pop into existence in the sea of quanta, not all of them last very long, but its a thing that can indeed happen. However we saw from the ending of part 1 and from part 1.5 that bubble universes are to some extent tied to physical locations, there's a bunch around each of the planets and the moon, but traveling between different local groups of bubble universes is incredibly difficult partly bc there's nothing in between and partly bc there's an energy well around the planet that you need to escape from in order to travel, essentially trying to leave the local bubble group is like trying to force a boulder uphill, you need a lot of energy to do it, and if you run out you're liable to have to start over. A similar case very likely happens for bubble universes across branches, probably to a greater extent since you're not just crossing the gulf between planets, you're crossing the gulf between entire universes.

Next up the theorizing!

We're starting from the baseline information of no ones running into each other in the sea of quanta and we didn't see an infinite number of similarly motivated otto's all trying to save kallen when otto was outside the tree. And we're gonna see what can be done to explain that and what information is out there.

The easy explanation would be that they're all just confined from one another in some way but that's not particularly interesting and I doubt hoyo would make it that simple, they usually make things overly complicated if anything.

I wrote multiple paragraphs of physics and then realized it was optional and I could just write a summary, moved the technobabble to the end, here's the tldr: I posit that truly identical universes aren't a thing bc it would be boring and the multiverse might straight up not allow that degree of overlap, or treat that degree of overlap as one universe. And where there's an infinite myriad of small differences, if they don't affect things on a larger scale, then their corresponding universe is like. A superposition existing in multiple states that form a weighted average. Once a difference is big enough to matter and change the overarching path, that's when the universe branches.

So, if there's a myriad of paths that all ended with Otto fighting the tree to save Kallen, and those didn't differentiate enough to be considered entirely separate, then the Otto we see fighting is a superposition of those infinite possibilities that converged here, or rather the ones that weren't different enough to diverge. He is the weighted average of all of them.

Optional more detailed technobabble under the cut

Firstly, there's two ways the tree can be infinite, these aren't mutually exclusive. The first is that there's an infinite number of possible ways the future can go choices to be made differences that might happen. and those all exist as branches on the tree. And the second is that on top of that, there are infinite identical copies of the same branch.

The first kind of infinity is probably true, but the second need not be. On a narrative level its completely uninteresting and pointless. With nothing to differentiate them they might as well be the same universe. On an irl physics level you could argue that two universes can never be totally identical in the same way certain kinds of particles are barred from being totally identical. Based on: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pauli_exclusion_principle

Going back to the first, there's this thing about certain actions that subatomic particles can take where like, even a photon being transferred between two electrons can take an infinite number of increasingly complicated steps to reach the same ending, doing shit like turning into entire other particles on the way, and the energy change we observe in the reality isn't just the simplest one, its the weighted average of all possibilities. From: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feynman_diagram

Its a manifestation of quantum superposition, where more generally if an object can randomly be in two or more states, you don't find out which until that state is directly measured. And otherwise it exists as both at once, in a similar weighted average way. (arguably this just means the thing measuring it becomes part of the possible states but once we're inside one of the possible states we cant see the other possible states we're coexisting with where things went differently for us.) From: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_superposition To summarize the important parts of the above physics regarding the first form of infinity: if some object can be in multiple states chosen at random, or a sequence of events can happen in multiple ways chosen at random, the actual state or sequence of events will be the weighted average, unless the specific state matters enough to change things on a larger scale. Irl multiverse theory based on this says that universes branch when this larger scale change happens.

So taking that over to hi3. The universes where the changes are small enough that the end result is the same (for example which flavor of cake Otto made for Theresa on her 22nd birthday) they're effectively going to be the weighted average, and are going to result in an Otto fighting to save Kallen who is a superposition of all those Ottos who made different flavors of cake. If the specific flavor does actually matter *then* the branching happens. like if Theresa turned out to be deathly allergic to pistachios and got hospitalized for a while changing the course of future events.

So, I was wondering about the Imaginary tree, and, I'm pretty sure it was stated to be infinite at some point? The reason I'm not certain about it is, well, if the Imaginary tree is truly infinite, it would mean that, anything that could possibly happen, no matter how small the probability of it is, will have happened in one of the worlds on the Imaginary tree at some point, and even if it's something like, let's say, Otto springing a new branch into existence to let Krallen live, it should still have had happened/will happen infinite times, right? Like, I THINK that's how it would work if it was infinite? Okay my thoughts are kinda scattered, but let's take what the memokeeper Kiana met for example, I think it was something like "Oh em gee, a world untouched by Aeons? EVEN the TRAILBLAZE?" But, if we go with the previous line of thinking, there should be infinite other worlds on the Imaginary tree that are the same in that regard, so I guess that shouldn't be that surprising? And like, I am thinking about the Sea of Quanta, and it should be also infinite, right? I think bubble universes can't just pop into existence there, they have to fall from the tree there, but if the tree is infinite there also should be infinite bubble universes poping into existence and where I'm going with this is, the stuff in the captainverse, how they were sailing across the Sea of Quanta, shouldn't there also be infinite others Hyperions in the Sea of Quanta doing the same thing? And like, I mean, I guess the space there is also infinite so it shouldn't be that unlikely that the infinite versions of hyperion never ran into each other, but, if that's really the case, that's kinda... boring? Like I feel like you could do so much with that, like, maybe all the people drifting in the Sea of quanta came together to like, build a place where they can stop by and do stuff, like idk some gas station or a hotel or a resort or something like that, and like... If the smartest people from all the worlds on the Imaginary tree came together they could potentially do anything... Like idk, bring world peace or destroy everything? I feel like that'd be cool to explore, but aside from captainverse, we got like, nothing of the other worlds (though I guess you could count hsr's story, but that's a whole different game..), and I'm also thinking like... Shouldn't there also be infinite Sa(s) by the same logic? And it shouldn't be that unlikely that some of them would become even stronger than our Sa at it's best so like.... Idk I just kinda had a thought and wanted to share

I try not to think about infinity too hard because it kinda breaks common sense like this

#yes i'm taking real life physics and applying it on scales it normally doesn't work with #but hoyoverse did it first #and I decided what was reasonable to include in my theory based on the extent to which they do this sort of thing #that is to say its not unlikely that this turns out to be in the same vein as hoyoverse's actual explanation

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the-wandering-whumper · 3 years ago

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I know this isn't all from you, but there's a discussion happening on your post about people not realizing whump can have a happy ending where people are talking about bad ending whump and slave/pet/captivity whump as if they're mutually inclusive and I'm a little confused. I've always adored whump based off of captivity and torture, but I also like for that to have a lot of comfort and a good ending, or at least a hopeful one.

I can't tell if people take issue with the bad ending or the captivity, because having one doesn't necessarily mean having the other! Or are they bothered only by fics that have both? It's really not clear and I was wondering if you happened to understand better.

This got long, so I put it under a cut

I think there are several discussions going on at once and it's muddying the waters a bit. On the one hand, we've got debate on whether or not whump and hurt/comfort fall under the same umbrella. Then there is a discussion on how whump content should be/is tagged in the community. We've also got people debating the very definition of the word, and finally, if whump can have a happy ending, which is the topic I originally broached.

Here are my thoughts...

When I first joined Tumblr, whump and hurt/comfort were synonymous and used interchangeably. Whump was also almost exclusively centered around fandom. I think I first noticed a shift in the community when OC whump started to become popular. Over the course of the next year or so, the community seemed to split into 2 groups. Those who still stuck mostly to fandom, and those creating their own characters and worlds. (This was not a bad thing, of course. Communities are naturally going to grow and evolve.) I don't know about anyone else, but it was at this time I started to feel a disconnect. I wasn't as involved in the OC side of things because Fandom whump was really the only thing that quenched my thirst for whump and gave me those elusive whumperflies. That's when I think my definition of whump stayed the same, but it began to change for others.

To me, whump has always been a fandom term used to describe a character who is injured, be it emotionally or physically. That can include anything from that character being comforted with no physical injury depicted, to the character being brutally tortured (I like the full spectrum! I just don't reblog a lot of it here to keep this blog accessible to all users). For me, whump can have a happy ending. It can have all comfort. It can be nothing but hurt. That's my definition, and I suspect some of the older bloggers around here might agree with me. I also think this is so ingrained in our roots and how this community started, that you're likely going to have to pry this viewpoint out of our cold, dead hands. And deal with occasional discourse from us as we try to wrap our heads around how much the community is changing.

Nonny, you asked me what topics people are taking issue with. The answer is, all of them. It's an ongoing debate I have a feeling is going to keep resurfacing again and again. My plan is to keep on plugging away, enjoying whump in my own way, and trying to remind everyone every once in a while that they are free to do the same.

That was the intention of my original post. I wasn't saying that there should always be happy endings or criticizing anyone's content, merely pointing out the fact that having comfort or a happy ending should be an option, based on my definition of the word. And yet these concepts seem to be completely absent from some other people's. To the point they weren't sure they could write it and be included in Whumptober. I had to ask why. To me, it's baffling and I wanted to better understand.

I think I do now. We're people and trying to nail down a definition for whump will be something we debate until the proverbial cows come home. My only hope is that it remains a debate, and not an effort to police the word's usage or its meaning. That's when I feel things begin to get toxic.

In my humble Duck Mom opinion, there is no wrong way to whump. No "rules" to all of this, and it just makes me sad sometimes that people think there have to be.

#sorry that got long #and long winded #i have a hard time articulating my point sometimes #because you can argue that me wanting whump to encompass everything is just my own brand of policing #it comes down to one thing #i think whump covers it all #from the hurt to the comfort and every stop in between #i used to think everyone shared this opinion #turns out i was very very wrong #asks answered #whump discourse #wcdiscourse

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inkmyname · 4 years ago

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The Ember Island Players: performing toxic masculinity and narrative complicity in propagating misogyny

Initially I wasn’t going to respond to concerns about Katara’s racist/misogynistic portrayal in the Ember Island Players with anything more than snarky tags, but apparently I can’t keep my mouth shut, so I’m posting my response as a standalone meta about how the writers’ insistence on creating drama for drama’s sake leads them to--in lieu of actual character development--fall back on lazy narrative shortcuts whereby a performance of toxic masculinity against a gendered heternormative background is used to create tension in a romantic relationship, presumably with the goal of keeping the audience invested.

The Ember Island Players is problematic for a lot of reasons, not least of which is the pervasive tone-deaf misogyny, including racialized misogyny, directed at Katara. There’s a lot of meta on this, so I’d like to focus on something different: Aang’s relationship with gender and romantic attachments.

Aang seems so uncharacteristically chagrined the whole episode: “I’m not a woman!” Based on his previous characterization up to this point:

The Fortuneteller. This is the same Aang who makes a necklace for Katara when she loses her mother’s. Observe how he responds to Sokka’s jibe about jewelry-making, which can be seen as a feminine pursuit: Sokka: Great, Aang. Maybe instead of saving the world, you can go into the jewelry-making business. Aang: I don’t see why I can’t do both. Femininity isn’t presented as being mutually exclusive with narrative pursuits like saving the world which have traditionally centered male protagonists (especially if we take the entire canon of anything every written in any genre that’s not specifically, say, something like shoujo or jounen which are directed and young girls and women, the narrative focus on male personalities is overwhelming).

The Warriors of Kyoshi. Oh, and this is the same Aang that dressed up in full Kyoshi gear, kabuki makeup and all, without complaint. Why would he? After all, she was him in a past life. (There’s a whole meta here about gender-critical analysis of kabuki productions where male actors typically assumed female roles and how Avatar both takes inspiration from this real-life kernel and subverts it in Rise of Kyoshi where Kyoshi’s signature look is not only an homage to her parental heritage but also a reimagining of who can inhabit what roles. Her legacy, though imperfect, is also notably feminist, taking face paint worn typically by men IRL and expanding it into war paint for women warriors.) (There’s also great headcanon-adjacent meta here about gender non-conformity and non-binary identities in Avatar. Avatar was not overtly explicit about its feminist or gender-progressive mindset outside of episodes like The Warriors of Kyoshi or The Waterbending Master, but it was still way ahead of its time. If anyone was to be presented or headcanoned in such a way, it would be the Avatar who’s lived a thousand lives, inhabiting a thousand skins and a thousand identities, including gender identities. There’s also cool crossover meta here about the Legend of Korra depicting a female Avatar in Korra with masculine tendencies and visible muscle vs Aang as a male Avatar with a gentler pacifistic spirit and gender nonconforming tendencies.)

The Cave of Two Lovers. Aang wears a freaking flower crown and is generally wholesome and adorable, even leading up to the “let’s kiss lest we die” scene with Katara. He’s not pushy or overly concerned with appearing masculine and it is in fact Katara who suggests the kiss and Aang makes a fool of himself. From the transcript: Katara [Shyly, blushing.] Well, what if we … kissed? Aang [Very surprised.] Us … kissing‌? Katara See? It was a crazy idea. Aang [Dreamily.] Us … kissing … Katara [Fake-jokingly.] Us kissing. What was I thinking? Can you imagine that‌? Aang [Fake-jokingly.] Yeah. [Awkwardly laughs.] I definitely wouldn’t want to kiss you! [Beat.] Katara [Insulted.] Oh, well! I didn’t realize it was such a horrible option. [Angrily.] Sorry I suggested it! Aang [Realizing his mistake.] No, no, I mean … if there was a choice between kissing you and dying … Katara [Disgusted.] Ugh! Aang [Desperately.] What? I’m saying is I would rather kiss you than die - that’s a compliment. Katara [Enraged.] Well, I’m not sure which I’d rather do! [Slams the torch into his hand and storms away.] Aang [Miserably.] What is wrong with me … Aang, sweetie, this is not what you say to a girl you want to kiss, but generally, this is Wholesome™ and narratively, this is Good™. Eventually, they do kiss and that’s perfectly acceptable because there’s a whole conversation beforehand with humorous romantic framing. There’s consent and communication and initiative by the female protagonist. So solid A on the sensitive writing.

General Air Nomad culture. We don’t get a lot of Air Nomad culture in the show (and what little we do get what presented in such a misguided way, especially the whole commitment to forgiveness/pacifism which was handled in such an amateur black-and-white way from a writing perspective in season 3). But I digress. I really, really don’t think that Air Nomads who were so concerned with the spiritual side of bending and general existence had stringent notions of gender and romantic relationships–at the very least, they had very different notions of these issues compared to, say, the Northern Water Tribe. Canonically, even though AN philosophy emphasized detachment, Air Nomads practiced free love. Same-gender romance was freely accepted unlike in the homophobic Earth Kingdom (which even Kyoshi, a bisexual woman, wasn’t able to change) and the militant Fire Nation (Sozin outlawed homosexuality after declaring world war, essentially). And though the temples were gender-segregated, it seems that the burden of raising children fell to the entire community instead of just the women. Both male and female Air Nomads are revered. In the case of the former, Guru Laghima who unlocked the power of flight through achieving complete detachment from the material world. And in the case of the latter, Avatar Yangchen, who has statues everywhere because she came to be revered as a deity not just among Air Nomads but in the physical world in general. Nowhere in Air Nomad philosophy is the concept of gender, romance, love, sexuality, relationships etc. etc. tainted with jealousy and possessiveness (especially towards women) or rigid binary heternormativity.

So this was Aang for the better part of the first half of the series. Not overly concerned with gender roles. Pretty much fumbling his way through his first crush like a lovesick puppy and it’s all very wholesome. Supposedly a classic product of Air Nomad upbringing.

Meanwhile, Aang in EIP:

Checks out Katara’s butt as she’s sitting down.

Gets mad at being portrayed by a woman.

Accuses Katara of being the racialized misogynistic version of herself depicted on stage ([sarcastically]“Yeah, that’s not you at all.”).

Nods in agreement when the misogynistic stage production of Katara presents her as the “Avatar’s girl.”

Unable to differentiate between fiction and reality and puts the onus on Katara to do the emotional labor to justify something she never said (”Katara, did you really mean what you said in there? On stage, when you said I was just like a … brother to you, and you didn’t have feelings for me.”)

Assumes they would just… fall into a relationship… just because he forcibly kissed her at the invasion and again pressures Katara to do the emotional labor to justify why their relationship is not how he wants it (“But it’s true, isn’t it? We kissed at the Invasion, and I thought we were gonna be together. But we’re not.” / “Aang, I don’t know.” / “Why don’t you know?”)

Forces a non-consensual kiss on her even though “I just said I was confused!”

So, there’s so many things wrong with this, most of which are a laundry list of behaviors typical of toxic masculinity:

Ogling

Outdated misogynistic humor (what’s wrong with being a woman?)

Verbal abuse

Offloading emotional labor

Gaslighting

Pressuring a potential romantic partner

Lack of direct communication about romantic desires

Lack of sensitivity

Lack of active listening

Lack of emotional intelligence and empathy

Lack of consent and sexual assault

I could go on and on.

My question is Where and when did he learn these toxic behaviors? What happened to the wholesome boy making necklaces, wearing flower crowns, and generally being adorable in a kid with a first crush kind of way when it comes to romance?

Now, you can argue that EIP players Aang has been through a lot, including being shot by lightning and actually dying, and after the failed invasion, he’s stressed out with the weight of the world on his shoulders and maybe not expressing himself or his desires in the best way and taking out all of his frustrations on Katara.

Except… that is all just conjecture because the actual writing of the show doesn’t put in the hard work and make those connections. Instead, they fall back on misogynistic tropes and toxic heternormative romance tropes and a forced love triangle subtext and they just, to put it politely, fuck it up, two and a half seasons’ worth of work, gone, in the space of one episode. And even if it weren’t conjecture, it would still be wrong of Aang to act the way he did.

Let’s list Aang and Katara’s interaction in relation to each other in season 3:

The Headband. “Don’t worry about them. It’s just you and me right now,” Aang says as he pulls Katara into a dance. I have qualms about the writing of this episode: the creators wasted a golden opportunity to flesh out the Air Nomad genocide because they were too busy playing footloose in a cave, they wrote Katara–the same Katara would said fuck you to Pakku, freed enslaved earthbenders from a Fire Navy prison, and became a spirit goddess ecoterrorist to help a village in an enemy nation–as uncharacteristically shy just so Aang could sweep in and pull her into a dance. But like fine, whatever. It’s cute and really well-chreographed and there’s actually appropriate romantic framing here for once and at the end of the dance, look at Katara’s face–she’s happy! Positive Kataang interaction, and I don’t actually mind it. 7/10.

The Day of Black Sun Pt.1. He forces a kiss on her on the mouth, taking her completely by surprise. A chaste kiss on the cheek and a wistful pining last look and “Be safe” might have been acceptable, but given Katara’s shocked and uncomfortable body language, the kiss on the mouth was not. Worse yet, the show just… forgets… to follow up on it for several episodes and when it’s brought up again, it’s used as a sledgehammer to punish Katara for not magically being with Aang. 0/10.

The Painted Lady. Let’s look at the transcript: Katara [Using a disguised voice.] Well, hello Avatar. I wish I could talk, but I am very busy. Aang Yeah, me too. I hate that. [Looks at Katara’s face from behind the veil.] You know, you’re really pretty, for a spirit. I don’t meet too many spirits, but the ones I do meet, not very attractive. [Looks at Katara suspiciously. Tries to look under the hat.] Katara [Giggles nervously.] Thank you, but- Aang You seem familiar too. Katara A lot of people say that. Aang [Suspicious.] No, you really seem familiar. Katara Look, I really should get going. [Covers her face and runs, but Aang uses his airbending and blasts her hat up into the air, exposing her.] Aang Katara? Katara [Guiltily.] Hi, Aang. Aang [Shocked.] You’re the Painted Lady? [Pointing at Katara.] But how?Katara I wasn’t her at first, I was just trying to help the village. [Takes her hat off.] But since everyone thought that’s who I was anyway, I guess I just kinda became her. [Drops her hat on the ground.] Aang So you’ve been sneaking out at night? Wait, is Appa even sick?Katara He might be sick of the purple berries I’ve been feeding him, but other than that he’s fine! Aang I can’t believe you lied to everyone, so you could help these people. Katara I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have … Aang [Happily.] No, I think it’s great! You’re like a secret hero! Katara Well, if you wanna help, there’s one more thing I have to do. Aang gives her a curious look. Cut to the Fire Nation factory. Aang and Katara run along the river’s edge toward it. Aang looks at the polluted water. Aang You wanna destroy this factory? Katara Yes. Sokka was just kidding, but he was right. Getting rid of this factory is the only way to help these people permanently. He helps her blow up the Fire Nation smelting plant! Yes, he does call her pretty, but more importantly, this is one of the few times he acknowledges her faults (lying, deception, putting the mission at risk to help the enemy nation etc.) and still thinks she’s so fucking cool. He calls her a secret hero! There’s a lot of admiration and support here from Aang. He’s raising up Katara (instead of putting her down as in EIP) not because he sees her as a potential love interest but because he admires her and her compassion! This is great. Solid wholesome Kataang interaction. 10/10. But all good things must come to an end…

The Southern Raiders. I’m not going to spend too much time on this because there’s a million pieces of meta on this episode. He’s completely out of line asking Katara to be forgive her mother’s killer, the source of her greatest trauma as a victim of targeted ethnic cleansing. Given that he’s a victim of ethnic genocide himself, although he personally wasn’t there for it/didn’t actually witness it unlike Katara, he should have understood. He does say “You need to face this man,” which is good and supportive and he should have stopped there, because he continues on to say, “But when you do, please don’t choose revenge. Let your anger out, and then let it go. Forgive him.” Stop. Stop stop stop. No one should tell a traumatized victim of ethnic cleansing how to deal with their trauma. By the end of the episode, Katara doesn’t kill him–but she crafts a third path as the conclusion to her hero’s journey and it is not the path of forgiveness that Aang preaches. Ironically, it is Zuko, who also confronts Ozai, the source of his greatest trauma, who never tells Katara what to do but follows her lead instead: even though he redirects lightning at Ozai and could have killed him, he doesn’t go through with it. He understands Katara and he understands that she needs to this. Kataang interaction rating: 0/10.

So that’s where we are with Aang and Katara in Ember Island Players. Some positive interactions that are appropriately romantically framed and some that are just wholesome and good… but all ruined by forced kissing and moralizing about Katara’s trauma instead of offering understanding. So that still doesn’t answer when Aang would have learned all of the toxic masculine/heternormative behaviors he displayed in The Ember Islands Players.

The only answer, I’m forced to conclude, is bad fucking writing, where the creators were not only tone-deaf in portraying Katara in a racist/misogynistic way or, you know, in writing solely for the male gaze because fuck half the audience, I guess, but they just wanted to create drama for drama’s sake. They completely disrespected their female lead and I would argue they disrespected Aang’s character too in making him a stereotypical self-insert Gary Stu who displays toxic masculine behavior without consequences because that’s what’s expected of a toxic heternormative romantic plot device.

And worse yet, they never follow up on this, just like with the kiss at the Invasion. In the last five minutes of the finale, Katara looks up at him with admiration for saving the world and then kisses him. This is not only a missed opportunity for character development for Aang, but also a big fuck you to the female audience because the message is clear: the guy gets the girl as a trophy for saving the world, and fuck input from the female half of the partnership because that’s just not important and is not worthy of screentime. But I guess screentime dedicated to displaying toxic masculine/heternormative behaviors without ever condemning such behavior as a follow-up is just fine! :)))

If the EIP was supposed to make an argument for Kataang, then it failed. but more important:

By the show’s own high standards, The Ember Island Players is a failed episode, full of bad writing and worse characterization. For a show that was so ahead of its time, this episode is a narrative black mark, a failure of progressive representation and a disservice to its main characters.

There’s some wholesome Sukka and Zuko/Toph interaction, but even that doesn’t manage to save this episode, especially given there’s no resolution to the central conflict: the relationship between Aang and Katara. The entire unnecessarily OOC and forced Kataang drama drags it down.

We know Aang is capable of lifting up Katara and being supportive of her, as he was in episodes prior. We could have had honest, supportive, and open dialogue between Aang and Katara that actually followed up on the Invasion kiss, with Aang clearly expressing what he wants, Katara expressing that maybe she didn’t want that right now, and Aang completely respecting that and them hugging at the end because their friendship/connection is much more profound than pre-teen romance. This is an instance where Aang could have chosen to center Katara’s feelings, for once, instead of his own out of selfless love. If this happened, I would have been okay with a Kataang ending. But that isn’t what we got, obviously.

Part of what appealed to me about Aang as a male protagonist in media aimed at young audiences is that he–at least initially–did not start out as a toxic self-insert Gary Stu lifted from every problematic heternormative romance film ever. In fact, given his playful trickster archetype, general kindness/gentleness, and his stance against violence (a typically masculine trait), he both subverted expectations of and expanded the boundaries of what a male protagonist in children’s media can look like. Unfortunately, the creators don’t go all the way with Aang. In fact, they took a step back with his portrayal in The Ember Island Players, where the creators not only rely on misogynistic tropes to create drama but also make him complicit in propagating said misogyny. And that’s just a damn shame because we could have had a wholesome Kataang storyline and a sensitive male protagonist who cares not about your outdated gender roles and respects his partner’s autonomy!

#atla #aang #katara #kataang #eip #meta #my meta #aang deserved better #katara deserved better #queer #heteronormativity #toxic masculinity #misogyny #feminist criticism #kataang critical #but only in the sense that the writers messed it up #nothing against kataang personally

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starwritesficsandstuff · 2 years ago

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Is there going to be a fic about Michelle joining the Elders of the Creek? That would be a good one because forget popularity and peer pressure, the best people to be around are the ones you can be yourself with. Being with Cheyenne and Randy is not it for her.

Here's the thing: I like Michelle being friends with Cheyenne and Randy. I think there's a good message to be had in the fact that as they got older they could put their differences aside and hang out and stuff. I never saw Cheyenne and Michelle's friendship as something she was peer pressured into. Sure, she initially left the creek out of peer pressure, but she still chose who to be friends with, and she seems to be having a genuinely good time with them in Capture the Flag Part 3.

With that out in the open, Michelle is friends with both the Elders and Cheyenne and Randy in All The King's Men. Cheyenne will be introduced later in the series, and in a lot of ways she and Michelle will parallel each other. The general gist of what I want to do, without spoiling anything, is that while Cheyenne matured and learned to stop holding grudges over a stupid game they played as kids, she is embarrassed over her time at the creek and tries to brush it under the rug. Michelle is similar in how she's grown to let bygones be bygones now that the game is over, but unlike Cheyenne, Michelle remembers what made and continues to make her happy, and is completely comfortable with returning to the creek to hang out with the elders or Omar. It's not about Michelle choosing between Cheyenne or the creek, it's about the contrast between how Michelle and Cheyenne treat their childhood joys.

Randy will also be there because he's a fantastic character and he makes me laugh.

Cheyenne is a character that I can't get enough of just because of how she has so much impact with barely an screen time. There's a lot about her that we don't know, but she's probably not a bad friend, given how she's managed to form a friendship with her childhood rival, as well as still have a close friendship with her bff. Given what we've seen of both Kenneth and Xavier after they left the creek, she seems to be the only King of the Creek that was successful in keeping friends. I think that's interesting. It leads me to believe that Cheyenne might not mind if one of her friends (Michelle) went to the creek to hang out with her little brother figure or play dnd with the Elders, so long as Cheyenne herself didn't have to get involved.

This is probably way to long of an answer to your question, djfhkjsdh, I just didn't know how else to articulate my point XD But tl;dr - I wasn't planning on writing a fic on Michelle choosing to join the elders, but if I did, it wouldn't involve Michelle dropping Cheyenne, Randy, and her other high school friends because I don't see them as mutually exclusive options. It would probably focus on how excited Omar would be to hang out with her in the creek again, and how the Elders might be wary that she was pulling some elaborate high school prank on her before realizing she was legit. I'll consider writing something like that once I finish the other projects I've decided to focus on for the time being. :)

#it's sooo long im sorry #craig of the creek #starry talks about not writing #technically #anon ask

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orbitariums · 4 years ago

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𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝟕)

note: omg YALLLLL this chapter took me so long to write and was lowkey frustrating i hope y’all love ittttt

there’s some teaaaa towards the end y’all!! and i’m soooo excited to see where their relationship goes

this is i think the longest chapter of girls on film? BEAR WITH ME!!

playlist

warnings: age gap, masturbation, sexually frustrated steve!, feelingsss <3, mentions of weed & alcohol

word count: 10.7k

𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 7: 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬

"Okay, now twirl around for me a little."

Aaliyah threw her head back with laughter as she followed through with your request and spun around, her dress lifting up while she turned, a smile on her face all the while. The light hit her just right against the brick wall she was posing in front of, and you chuckled as you snapped a photo on your cheap - but functioning - camera. You paused to look through the pictures and grinned as you scrolled through the selection.

"I keep telling you my cousin takes pictures, she could've hooked us up with a photoshoot photoshoot, like a real one."

"I know," you grinned, speaking quietly as you were still focusing on the results of the pictures you'd just taken. "I wanna do everything myself though, you know?"

You squinted through your sunblocked eyes as you looked up at your beautiful best friend, continuing,

"Total creative control."

Aaliyah gazed down at you in admiration, and pushed up the sunglasses that you designed,

"That's YN for you. Independent in every way. How'd the pictures come out?"

Aaliyah bounded up next to you, unable to contain all her excitement to see herself in your clothes. Today was the long awaited photoshoot that you and Aaliyah had been organizing for the past week, a photoshoot wherein Aaliyah modeled for your brand. You organized it together, just the two of you, and put together a plan. You were always ready to organize something, which was why you performed so well at all your jobs - student, state rep office intern, and camgirl.

But this was more than just logic and planning, you truly put your heart and soul into this, because even though you did a lot already, you were centering your clothing brand as your main focus as the summer and graduation drew closer. After college, you'd have to figure your life out. Aaliyah would be trying her hand at med school, but with your Environmental Studies major, you didn't figure that you would be attending grad school. You could get an entry level job somewhere, a place that was similar to your job as an intern at the state rep office, because you could advocate for environmental policy there.

Or you could continue working where you worked, but you figured after graduation it would be best to shift. You already had your own place, and had moved out of college dorms at the end of your sophomore year, so you had no reason to move. But regardless of what you ended up doing as a career, you were excited for free time to continue your clothing brand.

You had already created the website, and you were going to be putting up listings following this photoshoot in which Aaliyah modeled all the clothing you had available. This was an exciting day for both of you, you felt like you were moving into the next step of your life and Aaliyah was so glad to be supporting you. You showed her the pictures while she squealed in awe, the both of you clamoring over which ones were the best. You felt grateful for this moment, and prayed there would be more like this to come. Right now was only the beginning.

"Issa look!" you chimed excitedly, pointing at one of the pictures of Aaliyah in a pair of distressed jeans and a tube top you had sewn.

"YN, I'm seriously so proud of you," Aaliyah said suddenly, and more serious than usual, making you look up from the camera.

You smiled bashfully,

"Thank you, babes."

"No, but really though. These past few months just watching you and being your friend has been amazing. Like you've grown so much, it's crazy. And now you're here finally starting your own brand. I know we're gonna be doing different shit once college is over but I'm so excited to see what more comes out of this, and who you become."

You nearly teared up at Aaliyah's words. She had really been by your side ever since you met, but especially over the past few months, and without even fully knowing what was going on. She might have known about your toxic ex, but you'd hardly spoken to her about Steve. Before you found out who he was, it was just a fun thing, and you only talked about it in joking spirits - but not too much, because you didn't want it to seem like it was serious. And now that you knew who he was, you didn't talk about him at all - she didn't even know that he'd ghosted you.

But the fact that she stayed by your side all that time, watching you crumble and watching you build yourself back up again, oblivious to the entire story, made you feel so grateful for her. You had done the same for her and she would always do the same for you. The reciprocation wasn't transactional, it was mutual and out of love.

Now you were slowly but surely moving on to the next chapters of your lives. While that wouldn't change how close you were, it would mean that you wouldn't be on the same campus day in and day out, and that could make things different. But you were glad to know you had a friend like her to hold you down.

Days like this where you were thriving, making progress, getting shit done, were days where you felt your best.

✺ ✺ ✺

It had been a little over a week since Steve started talking to you on Snapchat, figuring the ins and outs of the ten second videos you would send to him or post on your story, how to customize his Bitmoji to look like him (something you guided him through), and even how to send snapchats himself. You were much more advanced than him when it came to that, though, and you never failed to make fun of Steve for his lack of knowledge on how to take a proper selfie. But as much as Steve loved the fun of Snapchat and the new way to communicate with you as just you, he couldn't help but feel like there could still be more.

And again, he thought that maybe it was possible he was getting eager and hopeful to the point of illusion. Like maybe he was only feeling this way because this was all so new to him and the euphoria that came with this new, exclusive friendship was leading to delirium. But it was a small part of him that felt this way, and he had spent enough time thinking about it to have logical conversations with himself about it. He wasn't letting it drag him down, nor was he drowning in his thoughts.

No, that was what he would've done before. Like you, he had been through some sort of growth, even while he was in the slump that was induced after he stopped talking to you. He realized it was time to stop resisting out of fear and just communicate honestly with himself what he wanted, instead of just sinking into the same cycles he used to let himself go through when he was avoiding the truth.

And so that was why despite this small thought he had, that he was going overboard because he wasn't used to this kind of situation, he didn't brush it off completely. He knew that this tugging feeling at his heartstrings was there for a reason, that if he were to ignore it, he'd either give in dangerously, or miss a beautiful opportunity.

He was taking things slow though, which was why he wasn't just diving straight into the feelings of more intimate attraction that he knew could definitely be there if the both of you just pushed the blinds back a little. What he knew he wanted now though, was the opportunity to continue talking to you on a deeper level. Snapchat was nice, but it felt a bit artificial.

There was only so much that you could do to communicate on a real level over the internet, seeing as you lived on the other side of the country from each other. Steve might have been old fashioned for wanting more, when there was only so much he could get.

But he felt like there was an option for even more personal interaction, though having you on Snapchat felt incredibly intimate - seeing no one else on the cam site got to see your regular life like this. He started to think about the brief conversation he had with you in which you were trying to decide how to communicate safely and personally outside of the Girls on Film site. One of the methods that came up was texting. But for the sake of safety, Steve had denied that form of communication.

Now, though, he was having second thoughts, spurred on by a moment he caught between Natasha and Tony while he was in the meeting room going through paperwork.

They had been sitting in the meeting room too, Natasha just scrolling through one of her many phones with her feet up on the table before her, a red twizzler sitting in her mouth.

"Mind taking your feet off the table?" Tony asked shortly, glaring at Natasha and the way she was sitting.

"Why?" Natasha droned, eyes slowly moving to meet Tony's.

"Uh, how 'bout because it's incredibly expensive material and I just got it professionally cleaned."

"No one asks you to get the tables professionally cleaned you bourgeoise ass," Natasha snapped back, but she put her legs down anyways, continuing to tap away on her phone.

Steve was just regarding their snapping at each other as background music, and not really paying much attention. Natasha sighed suddenly,

"I don't understand why it's so hard for these buyers to understand that I can't give them my real number. Like, am I giving mixed signals?"

Tony chortled at Natasha's demise. Steve knew Natasha was referring to the fact that she sometimes used a blocked number for business or personal reasons, and that when she used it, no one could see the number it was coming from. It was basically an encrypted phone number which Tony helped set up. Natasha was in the habit of building up a knife collection as a hobby. Whether or not she would put those knives to use was unknown, but it was something she was doing for the time being.

Steve hadn't thought much about it, but now that he was hearing Natasha actually talk about texting these people, he was starting to perk up and listen to her. Inevitably, thoughts of you started to trickle into his mind. Like, if Natasha could use her phone for personal matters such as this, there was a likelihood that Steve could maybe, just maybe, do the same thing. He knew that Natasha's personal matters weren't quite the same as his own, but it was worth a try.

"There's something about a dominant woman that men can't resist," Tony commented, and Natasha rolled her eyes.

"You'd think the fact that I'm buying knives from them would make them a little less comfortable," she grumbled, and Tony put a supportive hand on her shoulder, patting her arm.

"You could scare 'em off, don't worry."

Steve was leaning forward, listening closely to the conversation now. Natasha turned her head over to Steve with a devious smirk,

"What's up, Steve? Think you could give us some insight on this?"

She was teasing him mercilessly, alluding to that forsaken time that Steve's guilty pleasure had been broadcast on the projector during one of their meetings. That hadn't quite been forgotten yet, and still got brought up in a teasing manner, though no one could figure out why Steve became so withdrawn when it was brought up. Steve was only lucky they didn't know the full extent of his endeavors. Steve stilled slightly, but didn't retract, only replying with a stern glare at Natasha before he continued.

"You... text these buyers?"

"Yeah. I have like, a bunch of numbers on one phone, Tony hooked it up. And I have a bunch of other phones. It's kinda hard to keep track. The only people that really have my number are like, you two, and some other people here. But it's rare that we even text for, you know, personal, kinda recreational stuff. Unless Tony wants my opinion on what movie we should watch," Natasha shrugged.

"Huh," was all Steve said, but he leaned back in his chair, stroking his chin slightly in contemplation.

"By the way, why don't you ever text me? Thought we were friends, Steve," Natasha joked lightly, but Steve was already focused on furthering what was just the beginning of his idea.

"He doesn't need to text you, you routinely save each other's lives," Tony scoffed.

"Tony, mind if I talk to you about something? In private," Steve turned his head to Tony and locked eyes with him.

Tony just smiled and got up instantly,

"Steve, I never thought you'd be the one asking to step into my office."

Steve cringed, thinking back to the time when Tony had asked to step into his office and had passed on the knowledge of Girls on Film to Steve, reminiscing on Tony's immense sense of pride and his need to act as a therapist.

"We can just talk in the hallway," Steve suggested, but to no avail, Tony shaking his head and marching up to Steve, putting his arm around his shoulder.

"No, no, step into my office," Tony repeated, leading Steve to his office where he closed the door, and gestured for Steve to sit in front of the desk while Tony settled into his seat behind the desk. Once they got settled in, Tony just grinned at Steve. "So... you need something."

"It was really just a simple question, we could've even talked about it in the meeting room," Steve started to stammer, feeling a little less confident in his decision to try to talk to you on a personal level.

When he'd heard Natasha talking about how she was able to text personally through a blocked number, he started to think of you and the conversation you'd had about texting him. Snapchat had ended up being the compromise for the two of you, but Steve was beginning to think texting might be better. He loved seeing your life on Snapchat, but social media could only be so real. And Steve wanted to be able to call you and FaceTime you. He could do all those things on Girls on Film, but he was taking a break from that. Besides, it wouldn't really be a friendship if he had to pay you to talk to you.

"Well, you're here now. Let it loose," Tony shrugged, and Steve nodded.

"I was just wondering exactly how Nat's able to text people personally without them seeing her number. I know you're kinda the one in charge of all our technology, and hell if I know how to do it myself."

"Done. I can walk you through it."

"Oh, really. Just- just like that?" Steve sat up, starting to get a little excited thinking of the now possibilities.

Tony shrugged, as if it were quite simple,

"Pretty much. You seem excited." Tony started to sound like he was catching in, leaning back in his chair and resting his chin on his palm, raising an inquiring brow. "Wanna talk to someone special?"

"Special?" Steve nearly choked on his own words, shaking his head and lowering it, not wanting to make eye contact with Tony. "No, no... nothing like that."

He laughed nervously, both because he was a bit of a newbie when it came to lying, and because he was thinking of you, which already made him appear a little dopey. He tried to control it, but in reality, thinking of you actually made him smile. It was confusing - he hadn't felt that way before, and he definitely didn't expect it from himself. He was serious, deep into his work. And you weren't distracting him from his work, but you were making his days just a bit brighter.

And it was something that puzzled him, delightfully. It was why he knew he had to dig deeper, not recoil and be concerned. The confusion was actually pleasant to work through. It helped him sort through his feelings, because the confusion only uncoiled to show his true feelings of desire. He figured maybe the confusion just stemmed from the fact that he never allowed himself to give into these kinds of feelings. So he didn't understand them, not quite yet.

He just knew there had to be a reason that this situation felt so unique. If he didn't give into his feelings until now, there had to be something there. It told him that he should get to know you on that level. It gave him that push to finally test out the waters. Steve Rogers, actually catching romantic feelings - it didn't even sound right, yet it was exactly what was happening. Everyday, he seemed to go even deeper.

"Special lady?" Tony guessed, making Steve compose himself and look up, folding his arms, crossing his legs and looking dead ahead at Tony.

He shook his head and sniffled slightly, eyes breaking away from Tony as he started to lie again, this time as best as he could,

"No."

"You sure about that, Cap?" Tony began to pry, one raised eyebrow at a time. "I mean, there's gotta be a reason you've been all... cute lately."

"Cute?" Steve scoffed, furrowing his brows and looking at Tony.

Steve wasn't exactly nervous to be having this conversation, but it wasn't exactly something he wanted to entertain with Tony. Again, he was keeping you, your relationship, private. Not secret, but private. Nobody else needed to know what Steve had been getting down to, and he didn't want them knowing the specifics of it - not because he was afraid of the fact that you were a sex worker or that you were younger, but because it would be best if he didn't have to explain himself and just how he'd gotten to meet you.

It wasn't like he was forbidden from seeing anyone, in fact it was encouraged by almost everyone that Steve knew. He just figured there might be more hubbub if he had to explain that he hadn't actually met you in real life - he didn't want his team doubting the security of the relationship you two had, or passing along premature judgments. Besides, he wasn't even fully sure himself. He was really only just now looking into the idea. He didn't want everyone in on it before he even solidified anything.

Tony rolled his eyes, waving his hand dismissively,

"You know what I mean. You've been all, you know, nice again. What's goin' on champ, you can talk to me. Who's the girl?"

Steve shook his head. Surely people had noticed his shift in character yet again, and it was becoming more prominent everyday. Tony would be the first to meddle, try to figure out why. No one knew why he'd been so moody the past few months, or why his moods would suddenly change positively. And he wasn't wrong, it was a girl. But Steve wasn't ready yet. He shook his head, denying it one last time before getting up out of his chair,

"It's nothing like that. I do want that blocked number, though."

"Easy."

| | |

Tony tried to pry again later on when he showed Steve how to use his phone to block out his own number, but Steve didn't give in, he just took the phone back and closed the door to his room, logging on to Snapchat so he could talk to you.

You replied to him quickly, his name popping up on your screen. It was funny, you went through so many names for him on Snapchat (cap, captain, Mr. America, even Mr. Rogers), but you decided to keep it simple. Like Steve, you were also keeping this private - who would you tell besides Aaliyah anyways?

It would be wise for you to keep it private, and that's what you were doing. That's why his name on your Snapchat was just: "Steve ❤️ 💙" followed by a red and blue heart. Although, true to his nature, his username was: "SG.R0818", a username he practically randomized in order to stay incognito.

He was glad you responded fast, from that moment and onward. Even though the both of you talked to each other on the app, you each had busy schedules and different time zones. So sometimes responses were a bit laggy. Still, your conversations always felt right.

Steve ❤️ 💙 Hey, I've got something I wanted to talk to you about.

YN ♡ shoot!

Steve ❤️ 💙 I was thinking about what you said, about texting each other.

YN yeah... are you tryna say something stevie?

Steve's upper lip curved up at the nickname. You didn't know it, or maybe you pretended not to, but it spurred something inside of him when you used any kind of nickname on him. It was just in your naturally flirty demeanor to do so, and maybe this was how you showed Steve that you saw the romantic potential as well. You both obviously did like each other as more than friends, but neither of you had really acted on that yet, and that was fine with you. Just hinting at it, slightly, and being friends, was enough. You didn't think it was that serious.

Steve ❤️ 💙 I decided that I think it would be nice for us to try to text each other. I like Snapchat, but texting is a little easier. We could FaceTime and call each other if you want. I just think it might be a little more real - well, as real as it can get over the phone.

If that's something you're comfortable with. My number would be blocked out, but you'll know it's me.

It was a good thing that Steve couldn't hear you, because you kind of made a weird squealing noise, and threw your hand over your mouth, eyes widened. You were used to talking to him by now, but it was still quite exciting to know who you were talking to. And the idea of actually texting him, and maybe even calling him and getting to see his face outside of your cam website? It excited you.

And it made you happy to think that he really wanted this friendship to go somewhere. You didn't know the full extent of what he wanted to do just yet, but you were glad to see that he was trying, and that he actually enjoyed talking to you enough to want to text and call you regularly. So you steadied your fingers before you typed back, hoping to show your enthusiasm through a simple Snapchat.

YN i'd love to! i'm so glad it's something you've been thinking about. i agree, it feels better to text sometimes. and it'll feel even more normal, i guess. here, i'll give you my number so you can text me.

And from that moment on, Steve was in. He was almost giddy saving your number as a contact. For him, for the both of you, this was another step forward in your relationship. It felt like you were slowly trusting each other more and more. You had already knocked down a major wall just by talking to each other after the reveal to begin with, and by having the reveal in the first place.

So, he was glad that this was coming into fruition. He was satisfied with this. For now. For your name, he typed in your real first name, because that was how he knew you now. And your real name would stand out less if anyone got ahold of his phone messages somehow. He started out by sending a simple text, saying hello and making sure you knew it was him. And even though his number was blocked out, it was clear as day. You were both glad to have moved on to this, to have so many forms of communication between the two of you. It didn't seem like a big deal, but considering your situation, it kind of was. The littlest steps made the room shake.

✺ ✺ ✺

The days seemed to flow by at this point. Like, you felt like getting through life was a breeze. No unexpected storm to knock you off your smooth sailing course to greatness. You were truly moving up, on and out. You felt like now, after all the time you took for yourself to heal, all the time you spent in a sort of neutral state - not going out much, staying to yourself - you could really celebrate.

Even though you were growing all through that neutral state, you felt like now you could finally see through all the fog that had gathered. All the uncertainty that had followed you along your path was nonexistent. You were just glad that you were back on your feet again and feeling like you could take on more new things.

Now that you were nearing graduation, you were really just focusing on final projects and exams schoolwise. For yourself, you were starting work on your online clothing store and camming even more. And you were enjoying your life, being a normal college student, who had Steve Rogers' number. Maybe you didn't actually have his number, but that was how you were choosing to describe it. If you didn't have the discipline that you had, you would be telling everyone about this. But you weren't stupid, so you kept it all to yourself.

You and Steve often talked late into the night, or at random times during the day. Towards nighttime, your conversations often became a bit deeper, the kind of conversation that would've scared Steve off a while ago. But he was becoming more comfortable with you, and you could tell. You were moving slowly so as to be careful, but you didn't feel like you had to. You just figured it would be wise. But these deep conversations touched on the topics that you hadn't been able to get into that time when Steve left so abruptly.

When the stars were peering into your bedroom window late at night, that was when you opened up about your past love life. He listened to you talk about your ex, give all the details about it, and he listened to you talk about how much healing it took you to get out of the nasty habits that had developed all through your life, but especially when you were with your ex. How you learned to be more independent, how you learned not that you couldn't trust, but that you had to be mindful about your relationships. You had always been driven, but especially after that mess of a situation.

Your whole life you'd been surrounded by this sense of needing more in some way. Your parents were loving, but they didn't always show it - they supported you mostly, but there was no way you could really show them who you were, not entirely. There was always this air of dismissiveness that came from them, and you had never been close to either of them, not the way other kids were.

So you knew what it was like to be grasping for something, anything. You just wanted love in its unconditional form, you wanted a life that wasn't hindered by those around you.

Sometimes this made your life even harder, because you found yourself doing things for people who didn't deserve it, hoping that they might see how much you were willing to do for them and maybe even reciprocate. But these days, your want, your human need for love and emotional support just pushed you further, blocked out the people who you didn't really need, and attracted you to the lifestyle that you deserved. And you turned out alright, but it took a lot to keep going. You buried yourself in work which you genuinely enjoyed. You tried new things, you moved out on your own, you created your own sturdy relationships. You knew how to make a pathway out of a rocky road. You were just glad that you felt like you were gliding through your life nowadays, and that the ship was sailing smoothly.

Steve was one of the people who you felt like the universe had somehow brought to you for a positive reason. A strange and random decision, but positive, nonetheless. You thought of how odd the circumstance was and you figured, it must have been destined. You were glad to be having these kinds of conversations with him.

And you were also glad that you had the beach. California wasn't California without its lustrous, beautiful, palm tree filled beaches. You were on your way to one with a few friends right now, on a weekend with no classes, celebrating after an intense study week, preparing for finals. The radio was blaring, the windows turned down, the warm and salty sea breeze blowing in through the open windows.

Around you was sort of this happy blur. You absorbed it, being jostled around by your friends dancing beside you, Aaliyah right by your side. You were laughing and smiling, a bottle of Capriccio's Sangria to your lips, babbling along to the song on the radio.

"Y'all are way too hype right now," your friend Violet joked from the front passenger seat, sat next to her boyfriend Luke, who was the designated driver.

She was met with a chorus of voices singing along to the radio song, and just rolled her eyes playfully, laughing. It felt good to finally be celebrating, especially since you'd been very focused on school for the past week. The beach was one of your favorite places to be - you felt so much at home. You grew up surfing all through middle school and high school, and this area was quite popular for surfboarding, so you were giddy at the thought of that. The beach felt like home to you, a California native.

Sure, it wasn't all sunshine and ocean waves, but you were pretty much the epitome of a California girl, and proud. So for you, it was a lot of sunshine and ocean waves. You felt a strong connection to this place, but you were always willing to explore. It was why you were so attached to traveling and hiking.

"YN, you look literally so pretty today," your friend Cameron complimented you as you held up your phone, taking a very impromptu selfie.

Your closed, glossy lips were turned up in a smile, your cheeks full and eyes slightly glazed over from the combination of a shared joint and the liquor you'd been drinking on the way.

"Cam," you pouted, leaning over and kissing their cheek. "You're literally so pretty, everyday."

You cooed over each other while you pressed send on your selfie, sending it to Steve on Snapchat with no caption.

"Girl, who are you sending that to?" Aaliyah grinned devilishly, peeking over your shoulder as she caught your screen out of the corner of her eye.

Before she could see, you shut off the phone and narrowed your eyes at her playfully, poking your tongue out at her,

"Nobody!"

She smiled but didn't seem fully convinced, pointing at you,

"It better be me. I need a new lock screen."

"Oh, you flatter me," you teased, smiling and sitting back, laying your head on Aaliyah's shoulder and your legs across Cameron's lap, sitting in this blurry, noted happiness.

You weren't thinking, you were just living in the moment, enjoying the smell of the ocean waves as you drifted closer to the scorching shore, focusing on the light scratch of acrylic nails massaging your scalp, the touch of a friend's arm resting over your bare legs, clad in shorts with a bikini bottom underneath, and a discarded shirt tied around your waist as you lay in your bikini top. You didn't know how your mindless selfie would inspire a confession.

✺ ✺ ✺

"Finally, you dweebs chose a movie," Nat grunted as she sat down in between Steve and Sam, sprawling out and kicking her legs up on Sam's lap.

"Not sure when I became your body pillow," Sam made a face at Nat, but he made no effort to push her away, his comment only making Tony scoff,

"You're saying you wouldn't want that?"

"Don't be a perv, Tony," Wanda reprimanded him, and he made a face, feigning innocence,

"What? Is it so wrong to cuddle with a friend?"

"I'm not understanding," Vision commented.

"Can we just start the movie?" Bucky whined through his laughter.

Steve was entertained by the conversation, but he had other things on his mind. Well, really just you. Steve thought about you everyday. You came across his mind whether he meant for you to or not. Sometimes he saw something and thought of you, because he was learning something new about you everyday, ever since adding you on Snapchat. He learned these little things about you through your Snapchat stories, and you'd been texting each other every day since he got your number.

He also learned things about you that weren't so little, and whenever you shared those things about yourself, he made sure to pay attention. When you shared these things with Steve, he found himself being mindful of what he said and how he replied - mindful instead of careful or hesitant. He was learning to absorb your words and turn them over in his mind. He was making an effort to try and understand you in the things you said that exposed your little quirks, your core beliefs, your history.

He appreciated how open you were being with him, and he understood how he had a responsibility, being who he was, to keep you feeling secure enough to share these things, to constantly make it clear that he understood, or at the very least, that he was listening. He just wished he had more time to flesh it out, to talk these things out over the phone instead of over text, or even in person, something that he knew wouldn't be possible.

And even though he felt so much closer now that he had your number, he couldn't help the small tugging inside of him that told him he'd be wanting more- and he couldn't figure out what "more" would look like for the life of him. You were so beautiful, it was overwhelming, and you gave Steve constant reminders of your beauty in every text, every goodnight selfie, every story you shared. Everyday he was falling harder for your beauty, inside and out.

It was lighthearted still. It didn't feel serious because the idea didn't make him feel unsettled, it didn't make him recoil in fear. But it had the potential to be serious, without all the negative dread that usually came with realizations such as this. He was just flirting with the idea of forging this romantic connection with you, but this tugging in him was now asking him when? When would he tell you how he felt, when would it get to the point where he needed to tell you? For now, Steve was just living through it, letting himself be free and happy in the moment.

He was satisfied with what he had now, when it came to you. He'd already taken the next step by getting your number and finding out even more ways to communicate with you outside of the site. He didn't want to feel ungrateful for wanting even more, for even entertaining the idea of telling you how he was feeling, especially when it wasn't anything deadly serious yet.

He knew he liked you, the fact was clear as day. He knew the way he liked you had the potential to be romantic, otherwise he wouldn't be thinking about you this often, and he wouldn't be seeing you in such a beautiful light. He felt lighter on his feet any time you came into his mind, and in his mind, there was a golden aura around you, around everything you did.

The fact that he saw you in this way made him think hard. Would he feel even more than he was feeling? Would it become enough that he would have to tell you? And he wondered, if, and only if, he did announce it - when would that point come? He was in a daze, leaning back on the couch, his phone in his hand while he waited for the movie to start up.

"What are we watching, again?" Nat called out, cupping her hands over her mouth.

"Star Wars: A New Hope," Tony smirked, satisfied with the movie choice.

"Is that the one with the dog monster?" Rhodey made a face, shaking his head slowly. "Not a huge fan."

"Pretty sure his name is Chewbacca," Bucky corrected Rhodey, and Sam cackled, clapping in satisfaction.

"The senile knows more about one of the most iconic movie franchises than you," he teased. "How does that work?"

Steve just shook his head and smiled, turning his head to Bucky who was talking to him,

"You ever seen Star Wars?"

"No, but I'm pretty sure Sam recommended it," Steve smiled lazily.

He hadn't quite updated Bucky on his status with you, but they had talked about it briefly since the time Bucky had given Steve the advice that helped push him to talk to you again. Steve was purposefully very vague during the talk with his best friend, but he made it clear that things were patched up. Bucky probably could've figured it out before anyone else, could've made the connection between Steve and Moonrose first, because Steve had given him the most information about it.

"It's pretty good, I've seen the prequels - that guy Darth Vader, he was actually pretty hot before he turned. You'll see, we should watch all the movies together," Bucky explained simply and carefully, as if it were common knowledge to him.

Steve was laughing, shaking his head.

"Sure pal," he was beginning to say, before he diverted his attention to his phone as a notification lit up his screen. It read: Snapchat: YN. His eyes lit up, and he tried to hide his excited reaction as he opened the picture from you. And when he did, he wasn't ready for what he was seeing.

You sent Steve a lot of pictures, and he thought you were gorgeous in all of them, even the ones with the filters that made your face look all distorted. But something was different about this picture, the vibes it gave off. He felt the same way he felt when he would watch your shows - like he was there with you, because he could feel your happiness emanating through the screen.

He felt like if he looked at it long enough, he might be there with you. And everything about this picture was glowing, especially you - it screamed young, college girl having the time of her life, and that made him feel so happy for you.

And it also stirred a feeling in him, something that hadn't been awoken for a long time.

Upon viewing the image, he immediately cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably because of the growing tent in his pants, trying to hide his phone screen so no one would look.

The picture was so simple. You were in a car, sun shining through the windows, the light hitting you just right, and you were smiling. But Steve was hyperfocused on the way you had obviously been basking in the sun, the glow clear on your face. Your skin was dewy and fresh, and your lips were sheen in a pink gloss that only called more attention to them. Your hair seemed wild around your shoulders, but it only made you look more appealing, more free spirited.

And again, you'd sent him so many pictures like this, but for some reason, this photo in particular was somehow arousing everything in him. You were so beautiful it hurt- he felt a pang in his chest, and the sudden growth in his pants didn't assist with the pain.

Your eyes, though vibrant and youthful, were glazed over, and all Steve could think of was how they looked when you blinked away tears after an intense orgasm. He thought about your soft, luscious lips against him, but this time he was thinking about what it might be like to kiss your lips, tainted with red.

And to add insult to injury, you were wearing a tight bikini top, and the picture cut off just where your breasts started to show, peeking out through the white fabric, the thin white strings against your sun kissed shoulders holding them up - just barely. He felt so fucking stupid. Like he shouldn't be feeling so much because of a simple image. But whatever was happening, this picture was stirring up something inside of him that he couldn't ignore. This had to be taken care of.

He sat up immediately, trying to use his shirt to cover his boner, feeling juvenile and lightheaded, even a little giggly.

"You okay?" Bucky asked, glaring up at Steve in concern - he'd been talking, but Steve seemed distracted suddenly.

"Mhm," was all Steve could strain out from his throat.

"What the hell, Steve? I'm about to show you one of my very favorite films and this is the reception I receive?" Tony barked, offended.

"I've been telling you, that superserum is wearing off," Sam joked, something him and Tony loved to say when Steve acted out of character - like the times when Steve got caught smiling for no reason - or just whenever Steve annoyed Tony.

"I- just- I'll be right back," Steve stammered, flustered, then he carefully walked out of the theater room and out of sight.

It had been over a month since Steve had left and came back to you. In that period of time, he had been gloomy, neutral, then back to being light on his feet again, one after the other. And he hadn't viewed any of your content since then. A few times he tried to get himself off, but it was worth nothing. He could barely guide himself, and he didn't want anybody else to assist him the way you had, it was one of the things that made you so special.

So his attempts to satiate his pleasure came in the form of witless, rough jerks that didn't even get him anywhere near that point. And each time, he was back to thinking about you, but the thoughts could only get him so far.

But now that you were friends again, Steve didn't let himself think of you in that way. Or, he tried not to. But this picture, for some reason, just reversed everything he was trying to avoid. He tried to understand his reaction in the short amount of time that he quickly walked to his room, trying and failing to ignore the stone hard bulge hanging in his loose grey joggers.

Thinking, as straight as he could, he figured that his senses were overrun from thinking of how much he might like you and then having to see such a vivacious picture from you. It felt like a sign that it was time to finally fulfill the pleasure he'd been putting off. It was too much for him to handle- your beauty, the domesticity of the happy picture, in combination with his doting thoughts of you. And maybe he'd already been a little distracted to begin with, needing some form of release. It had been a very long time since he'd allowed that for himself.

"Calm down, Steve," he muttered to himself, forcing a smile at Pepper, who was walking past him.

He finally got to his room and closed the door behind him, falling back onto his bed immediately. As he fiddled with the drawstrings on his sweatpants, he brought his phone up to make sure the image of you was still there. When he saw it still there on his screen, he sighed in dismay, thinking of what he was doing.

He was almost embarrassed that you brought him to that point without even trying, arching his back off the bed to remove his sweats fully. He brushed it off and breathed out, eyes honing in on the image as he began to palm himself over his boxers. He groaned, feeling a sense of sweet relief already, just from his hands gently palming himself.

He briefly thought back to the times when he had tried to get off by himself, tugging to no avail. This wouldn't be like those times. This would be gentle, and he already knew, by the burning feeling in his stomach, that it would bring him pleasure. He dipped his hand inside of his boxers, carefully guiding himself out. His hard length fell hard against his stomach and he grunted from his throat, his jaw ticking as he took himself in his hand and began to stroke slowly, breathing heavily through his nose like a routine.

He was looking at the picture of you, but his mind began to wander to other things- flashbacks of you helping him get to that point through the screen, a sensation neither of you had experienced in quite a long time.

"Fuck," he practically whimpered, the words spilling out of his throat so uncontrollably as he choked them out.

He was missing those times dearly. As much as he was able to view you as a friend, nothing would compare to the way you made him feel. He didn't have you here to guide him at the moment, and for good reason - he didn't want you to, not now. You were trying to be friends for the time being, retain some sense of normalcy.

But, if you were there to guide him, he wouldn't complain. And even in this moment which was so unholy, he felt delicate, the light of the spring sunshine streaming through the window blinds and curtains, splayed across his room, painting the light blue walls with a sheen of pale yellow.

At some point, he really wasn't even looking at the photo anymore, just focusing on the sensations and the visions of you that his mind made up. His eyes were closed, head to the side, his arm against his forehead. In his ears he heard your voice gasping out his name while you came, in his mind he pictured your slick pooling out of you as you finally removed your fingers, breathing heavily from an orgasm. Sure, you had been performing for him, but that didn't mean it wasn't truth. The sounds and images he imagined made him stroke himself quicker, pumping harder and faster than the slow, delicate strokes he'd started with. He tried to calm himself down, but the pleasure was unbeatable. He switched from those fast tempo strokes to the gentle strokes that felt so tantalizing. Your voice was fresh in his mind - but it wasn't all devilish. It came in your laughter, the sound of your voice as you sang along to a song on the radio and posted it on your story. Then it came with deep bass, the sound of you urging him to come, pleading him to come with you.

The image of your eyes was prominent in his mind, coming in waves. Sometimes they came in strong, fierce tides as he pictured your eyes, staring into the computer screen while you wrapped your lips around a toy that you used to substitute for him, because he couldn't be there, but it felt so much like he was. Then sometimes they came in undulating, passionate waves as he pictured the crinkles that formed around your eyes when you smiled, the way you batted your lashes on screen.

It was strange to have such fluctuating thoughts of you, ranging from filthy to innocent. Usually the thoughts when he was getting off were just filthy. This was new, and it seemed to pleasure him even more just to think of your smile, your innocent eyes. What was going on? He couldn't quite figure it out, nor did he care to in the moment. The thought of you, Moonrose, YN, and he came undone.

He came groaning and panting heavily, weeks of unmet release painting his stomach and legs. His chest trembled as he took one last breath, took his hand off his eyes, and peeked out the window blinds at the dazzling, bright city just outside. He cleaned up silently, not thinking much because his mind was too excited to let him think.

And there were so many questions that lay unanswered: "why was he able to get himself to that point just by the thought of you?" "why had the thoughts been so strangely innocent and new?" And most of all, why did he even feel this way because of you?

Then once he was all cleaned up, changing boxers in the bathroom, he took a good look at himself in the mirror, and the clarity hit. Firstly, he realized of course, he had to tell you. It wasn't like Steve to behave this way so suddenly and he felt like it was something he had to tell you. He hoped he wasn't being disrespectful, hoped what he had done wasn't weird. But he didn't let himself worry about that too much.

But not only did he have to tell you what he'd done, he realized he had to tell you how he felt. He had been wondering if it would get to the point that he would feel strongly enough about you that he had to tell you, and this incident seemed to be proof enough.

All his sudden arousal, while valid and likely rooted in a need to get himself off, just meant one thing. He wasn't just frustrated sexually. His senses were running amok because he knew he liked you, and yet he wasn't expressing that fully. And maybe this release was what he needed to realize that. The feelings were only getting stronger and stronger with no real output. They made him happy, nearly giddy with excitement, but with nowhere to store it. He could have a crush and keep it that way, but Steve liked to find solutions. If he wasn't serious about you, maybe he'd keep it that way, with no outputs and no solutions.

He was keeping something to himself, and it wasn't fair to him, nor was it fair to you. He felt so unhinged now because he wasn't realizing that yes, there would be a point when he had to tell you how he he felt. All of that frustration was built up tension physically and emotionally, just boiling inside of him.

All of the excitement, confusion, and intrigue he felt towards the prospect of maybe liking you romantically, of taking that step to a real relationship, had boiled over. He wasn't realizing that he had to tell you sooner than later. This was more than just a release. It was more like an epiphany.

And while the realization may have been sudden, he had done his thinking long and hard, even before he started talking to you like this. He could wait and milk over it for a little while longer, or he could tell you, and soon. But even though he knew he had to tell you, he had to choose the right moment. At least now he knew he had to tell you at all, instead of spending too much time wondering whether he even should, wondering if what he was feeling was real.

Maybe it would be different if he got off to you and it was purely sexual. But this was more than that. He was genuinely overwhelmed by your beauty, inside and out. The thought of that was what brought him to orgasm. All those lighthearted, innocent thoughts of you made Steve feel so strongly, in both a physical and emotional sense.

It was why he'd had an emotional response to the picture first, then a physical response. He thought of all the times he'd looked at pictures you sent with a smile, and felt genuine happiness bubbling up inside of him. No one else did that to him.

If what had just happened said anything, it said that his feelings for you were real, they weren't just born out of naivety or because of the fact that Steve had never felt something like this before. It wasn't just about the sexual gratification or the physical, it was about why he felt so strongly towards you at all. If he could stir up these kinds of emotions, this kind of confusion, just by thinking about you, just by looking at you? He'd be surprised if it was all for naught.

✺ ✺ ✺

You were surprised when Steve asked to FaceTime you that weekend. You were clueless about the events and feelings that had spiraled for Steve since you sent that picture, and thus curious to see what he was going to talk to you about. It had been a little over two weeks since you'd started talking to Steve ever since he showed you who he was, and you were so comfortable with each other already.

Steve gave himself some time before he decided it was time to tell you. He knew he had to, but he was giving himself time to think it out, to decide whether or not this was really of the importance that he was holding it to, to decide, and really decide, if it would just be getting in the way of a good thing. But after much contemplation, he knew it wasn't a waste, especially because he didn't feel sick when he thought about it - aside from the butterflies.

You on the other hand, were clueless. But you were excited. He was so formal and so busy that he scheduled a call. He also kept your schedule in mind. You had just finished finals and you were about to close up with school, a fact which you kept forgetting and surprising yourself with when you remembered. So, mindful of that and mindful of his own schedule, Steve made sure the time would be good for the both of you.

And when the time came, you were excited. You hadn't heard Steve's voice conversationally in a long time, because texts and Snapchat weren't really built for that. And whatever it was he wanted to talk about, you were excited to hear, and you were glad that he was the one initiating these things all the time.

It made you feel like he really put effort into the friendship you were building, curating slowly like a sacred collection in a language only the two of you knew. You felt so close to him in such a short amount of time, but it made sense because you had known him for a long time - but you were only just now getting to know him.

You got all cute for the call, because why wouldn't you? You were attracted to Steve and you couldn't lie and say that you didn't feel all girly at the thought of getting even closer to him, being more than friends. Like a little crush was budding, but it was playful and innocent. You felt like he was such a good example of the perfect man, and you were so glad to call yourself your friend. In Steve's eyes, it wouldn't take much effort for you to look pretty anyway, but you got all dolled up because you wanted to.

You were wearing a simple white dress that you made, and you put on just a pinch of makeup. You were sitting on top of your kitchen counter by the window, sunlight and a nice breeze trickling through your apartment when the call came in. It felt surreal to see his name on the screen each time, no matter how used to him you became.

"Steve!" you exclaimed as soon as you picked up the call.

Finally you could see him face to face through the screen again. It reminded you of your times together on Girls on Film, but the circumstances were much, much different.

Steve, once again, was struck with your beauty, and he felt his knees go weak just at the sound of your voice. This was no mistake.

"Hey," he grinned, genuinely from ear to ear.

You both wanted to bask in the moment, talking to each other live, after quite some time. Steve wasn't showing it now, but he was nervous. Again that just told him he was making the right decision in telling you this. He was getting worked up over what to say to you, and you seemed so calm and control. Unbeknownst to him, you were also a little jittery, all for good reasons. It was just so exciting and nerve wracking to truly see him and hear his voice again, to truly talk to him.

"You look so beautiful," he complimented you, his voice going a bit deeper, his eyes glistening as he took you in. You were basking in the sun, the sun's rays seemed to want to be around you, you drew them towards you.

You blushed and smiled,

"Thank you! You look really nice too."

You giggled, becoming bashful as he smiled gently, and he continued,

"How have you been? Finals over yet?"

"Yeah, I just finished. It's weird, there's really not much else to do. We have one more week of classes to kind of just wrap everything up, but it's pretty much done," saying it out loud made you think of it again, gave you that weird feeling that everything really was about to be over. You would graduate in a few weeks, and start your life.

It was crazy, four years had gone by so fast, but they had been so lovely. Your college experience was the most formative part of your life. You'd moved on from your life at home, gotten out of an abusive relationship, met your closest friends and gotten even closer to your best friend, started a brand, got your own apartment. started camming. You had really found your life. And you found Steve. It was crazy to think of, that in just a few weeks, that experience would be over with.

"You okay?" Steve chuckled, because he noticed the deep sigh that you let out as you thought about it all. You were of course glad to move on with your life, but it made you think.

You laughed too, shaking your head,

"Yeah, sorry."

"Don't be. What's on your mind?" he asked, leaning into the camera, making you feel like he was there with you.

You grinned, glad that you could talk about this in such a way, without feeling the need to break down or be upset. You were simply moving on to the next stage in your life, and you couldn't be more excited.

"I guess I'm just thinking of how crazy it is that I'm finally going to be finished with college. Like, I'm not going to any more school after this. When you've been in school your whole life, it's..."

"I get it. It's like coming to something you're not used to, but it's just normalcy."

"Yeah," you shrugged. "You know that better than anyone else, I bet."

Steve laughed - it was true. He had to get used to things that everyone else found normal. He felt so out of place. These days he was getting used to it all, but certain things still surprised him or made him think he didn't completely fit in. It was part of the reason he hadn't given in to what he wanted with you, not completely, at least.

Because if he didn't fit in to the world around him, he figured he wasn't ready for a relationship. But maybe that was just what he needed to fit in better, to get along better. It wasn't fair to him to resist something he truly wanted because he felt like he didn't fit in. It was silly.

"It comes and goes. But hey, I'm glad we're talking."

"Yeah, me too," you smiled, and you bit down gently on your lip, furrowing your brows together out of curiosity. "Hey, you said you wanted to talk about something?"

You watched as Steve seemed to brace himself, but you couldn't even begin to imagine the amount of thoughts swarming his mind right now. He was nervous for good reason. He had never expressed romantic feelings for someone before, which was also a reason that he took so long to give in, took so long to realize it was time to express those feelings. He felt innocent and small, almost timid. He had spent so long formulating his thoughts and what he would tell you, exactly how he would announce these feelings for you.

"Yeah, I uh..." Steve folded his hands and just let himself try to focus and calm himself down. It worked, and he relaxed, enough to actually speak at least. "Listen, I've been thinking about this since we started talking. I think maybe I've always known it, but I'm only just realizing I should tell you about it."

"Yeah?" you prodded him, getting a little nervous yourself, only because the last time Steve got into a speech like this, you found out that he was Captain America. You wondered what else he could possibly have up his sleeve.

"Well, I should tell you that I've always resisted when it comes to you... to this. And I want you to know why. I think I just haven't felt this way for someone in a very long time, and it's never been like this. And I was afraid because we didn't know each other and being the person that I am, I just felt like I wasn't allowed to feel the way I was feeling. Like I shouldn't, like it might be dangerous or like I couldn't trust you fully. It's why I left. It's why I took so long to realize this."

Your cheeks were heating up the more he spoke, your mind buzzing with ideas. You wondered exactly what he was getting to, but for some reason the butterflies in your stomach grew stronger. You started to stammer, wanting him to get to the point,

"Steve, I-"

"I'm getting there, just..." he took in a deep breath. It was time to finally say it. He was trying to explain himself, but started stumbling on his words. "It's um... it's hard for me to say things like this. I-I guess I never really have. I just- I... I... sorry, I'm—"

Steve pinched his eyes with his fingers, shaking his head. It was endearing how it was hard for him to spit the words out- Captain America, stumbling over his words while he spoke to you.

"Take your time," you giggled a bit, and the calm of your voice brought Steve back down to earth.

"Gee, I guess I'm not that great with words. What I'm trying to say is — I like you. And I don't just like you, I mean, I have feelings for you. And I know we're trying to be friends and I'm happy with that, being your friend has been an honor to me. We've created a connection that is completely new to me— I've never known somebody the way I know you. But, I think... I think there's more there. I think that we both know that there could be more there. I don't know what that looks like, or if telling you will really change anything, considering our situation. But I see you as more than a friend. And it's about time I told you."

Steve looked up, catching your reaction just in time. And to his relief, he felt confident in his confession. He didn't regret it, there was no reason to hide away, to cloak himself in fear. Yeah. It was about time he told you.

#steve rogers #steve rogers reader insert #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers series #girls on film #orbitariums #smut #captain america #captain america x reader #captain america imagine #marvel series #marvel #marvel smut #marvel imagine #captain america series

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coldtomyflash · 4 years ago

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I feel like the most obvious path to Coldwestallen has been to have Barry and Iris get together first, although I've seen a couple fics where Len and Iris do, but I don't think I've ever seen a Coldflash turn into Coldwestallen. Do you think there's a scenario where that could happen ?

Oh that’s true isn’t it. Probably because it’s easiest, since westallen is established, or since Iris/Len is a bit easier to add Barry to in a natural way. I’ll be honest and say that all the coldwestallen story conceits I have are either westallen that adds cold, or coldwest that adds barry, or westallen and coldwest that gets messy (there’s a double amnesia AU I may still one day write).

That being said - of course there’s a scenario where it could happen.

There’s always a scenario where something could happen :D

I guess you’d have to start with - how did Barry and Len get together and why weren’t Barry and Iris together to start?

I’d honestly say it works best if you go with mid to late S2 for establishing coldflash. That was you don’t have established WA in canon yet to write your way around, and you can ignore Legends and Len leaving town in S2. Just branch from 2x09 where Len warns Barry about the Trickster and Weather Wizard and go from there.

Starting from that - I would say it makes sense to establish coldflash in whatever manner makes sense to you, whether it starts as a frenemies with benefits, blowing off steam kind of thing (my preference), or whether it is them working a case and getting closer until sparks fly (also fun) or something else. But establish coldflash and their dynamic - but don’t yet make it into a super serious and super committed thing.

Len isn’t foolish and he is perceptive - he knows Barry is and always has been holding a candle for Iris. This doesn’t bother him because he doesn’t expect this thing with Barry to get ‘real’. It is what it is, it’s fun, there’s mutual respect and everyone is having a good time, with a bit of spice and danger. If he finds himself a little over-invested, well, that’s on him, and he’ll deal with it when it needs dealing with.

Enter Iris, tentatively opening herself to Barry, finally - feeling ready for something with him (post Eddie’s death, sometime in S2, much like canon). Barry, then, is inexplicably torn - surprising himself, Len, and Iris. This is Unforeseen. Barry’s been in love with Iris for half his life, he’s not supposed to experience any conflict about finally having the opportunity to be with her now that she’s in a place where she’s emotionally open to that.

But, well, he is. Conflicted, that is. Because yeah, he feels for Iris, that hasn’t gone away. But now he’s guilty because, he’s kind of with Len? And really, to his own surprise a bit, really likes being with Len. He’s funny and charming and strong and sometimes mean and okay Barry actually kind of likes that mean-streak if he’s being fully honest, it’s refreshing and makes him feel more safe to be himself, more humble and down to earth, not like he has to constantly be the perfect golden boy on a pedestal but is allowed to be human.

Being with Len is good for him, and Barry doesn’t want to give that up. Which is a startling revelation to him when Iris kisses him and he kisses her back then immediately goes into a weird spiral because - are he and Len even exclusive? They never talked about it. What is he even doing? He can’t build a life with Len - can he? Holy crap he wants to build a life with Len. But Iris - what about Iris? He still wants to build a life with her. He and Len have never talked about Iris, not really, except skirting the topic, and Barry knows he’s never been subtle about his feelings for her but -

Iris is. Confused. Barry never fully confided what’s going on with Len to her. He hinted at some scandalous liasons, maybe, but she had no clue Barry was in any sort of situation that she might be interrupting. Barry is terrible at divulging his secrets or telling his friends and family anything, we know this.

Barry is an idiot (love him to death) and decides that Len is somehow the right person to confide in with his struggles. Len is. Shaking his head. Barry wtf. Go be with Iris. You love her, I’m not an idiot, I knew this would end. Barry like - screw you, aren’t you supposed to be a greedy thief and demand to keep me? Len like - wait you want me to... steal you? Like a brick of gold? Barry throwing his arms in the air like I don’t know I just don’t want to lose you!

Len suddenly confronted by the fact that Barry has real, grown-up feelings for him and not just a bit of puppy love, that he’s actually considering staying with Len and losing out on his chance to be with Iris. Which is a bit arresting because - that’s a lot of love and depth, and it’s suddenly there on display with all the despair etched into Barry’s face at the prospect of giving up Len and since when did Barry fall in love with him holy shit holy shit holy shit -

And like - Len is a greedy thief, okay. And he’s mean. He wants to keep Barry. He gets to keep Barry? He’s going to keep Barry. He doesn’t expect it to last because it’s Barry and Barry is Good and Right and Deserves to Be with Iris. But Len is Mean and Greedy and Fights Dirty. (len’s perception, obvy). So he tells Barry he won’t make him choose, but also gets all sexy-possessive (it’s one of my favourite things, okay, just allow it) and makes sure to remind Barry of all the enjoyment he gets from being with Len.

But being the instigating little shit that he is, he also encourages Barry to talk to Iris, to even take her on a date, to see if he can get from her what he gets from him. why? why play with fire? because len plays to win and he’s not going to be satisfied if barry regrets his choice and leaves him in a year over iris. he wants all of barry now that he’s got the option, dammit.

So a very conflicted Barry takes Iris out. Kisses her. Gets all heart-beating confused and delighted and everything. Things get a bit hot and heavy and then he stops and has to talk because this is great but he feels guilty as hell and part of that guilt is because yes okay Len said this is fine but is it really and what does Barry want and okay Iris totally has a right to know where his head is at.

So Barry opens up to Iris about the situation and she’s like “relationship? huh? but - he’s a thief, I don’t - you’re the flash - how does - huh?” quite understandably I would say, because last time she met Len, he was threatening to blow her up in her own livingroom. It wasn’t a great first impression. sure barry hinted at some ~liasons~ with someone and maybe she suspected it was cold but this is so much beyond that.

So she takes it on herself to at least make sure this guy has good intentions for Barry because whatever the situation, she still loves and cares for Barry and if he’s in over his head with this antagonist and is being taken advantage of, it’s her duty as his friend to help make sure he’s okay. (And also - Barry wants to be with her. he said as much. he isn’t shy about being in love with her. so why the hell is he still hung up on this guy?)

And Len is... weird. Okay. He’s weird. She goes to talk to him and he’s speaking in riddles and double-speak and innuendo. So much innuendo. Why? Puns all the way up, all the way down. And they argue and it’s... electric. Like shockingly electric. It gets to like them standing chest to chest breathing heavy and hissing invective at one another before they realize - oh. Oh this is tension, this is chemistry. This is dangerous.

Nothing happens. They back off as one. Recalibrate. Try to sort their heads around ‘what the hell was that’. Len tells Barry that Iris visited him. Barry confronts Iris. Iris tells him she was legit worried, and Barry decides they all need to sit down together so he can more legitimately smooth over Iris’s actually-quite-reasonable fears and maybe like... sort out what he wants.

but obviously what he wants is to have his cake and eat it too. because he’s always been in love with her but now he’s also in love with him, and either way he wins and he loses and that is a very painful and difficult situation to be in and maybe len never should have encouraged him to pursue this because what a goddamn mess his heart is now.

and from there, naturally the next thing to do is to conclude the narrative in a satisfying way and get the three of them together. both len and iris comforting a distraught barry on instinct, looking at each other and pausing, then continuing because “this is my job” “no it’s mine”. like a game of chicken comforting him and challenging each other, raised eyebrows and “your move” looks until they’re kind of very tenderly seducing barry and it’s delightfully overwhelming to him. it’s soft (softer than how i’d usually write smut tbh) because the focus is on these very intense and overpowering emotions and this deep (healthy!) possessiveness born out of love from all three of them.

and because i’m a sucker for it there’s got to be this pivotal moment where len and iris kiss. like len and iris are peppering barry with kisses, stealing his lips, taking turns doing that as they undress him (they work so well in tandem, gee what a surprise), and then he leans back a bit as they move to trade his mouth off again and his eyes are half-lidded but the desire is plain as day so iris and len have a moment of silent negotiation and then they kiss and -

oh. oh, that is more than just electric. it’s something special. deep, powerful, undeniable.

so of course really fantastic sex is had by all, because this is fanfiction and sex is never awkward and no one accidentally falls off the bed (except that would be super funny and i’d probably write it that way just because). and barry is delighted and blissed out af. and iris and len’s fingers intertwine over barry’s stomach as they lay on either side of him, and it’s beautiful and offers a promise of what’s to come.

i’d keep that end short rather than do the whole relationship negotiation but honestly knowing me, i’d actually end up incidentally dragging it out more and adding in more of that relationship negotiation dynamic before they got to the end because i can’t help it.

But uhm. To answer your question: Yes. Yes I do think the scenario is possible.

#coldwestallen #there's probably a million typos in here sorry guys #tumblr writing #kind of #Anonymous #long post #long post for ts

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sysba · 4 years ago

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Can you make some tags for IFs perhaps like #not choices or #not twc or any other you find suitable to sort content from one to another? No pressure or anything just a suggestion.

hey, sorry for not answering right away! i really appreciate you asking rather than demanding/being rude about it 😉💕 that said, the short answer is no, i won’t.

long answer: i did think about doing so when i first realized my blog was shifting from an exclusively choices blog to a general interactive fiction blog; i ultimately decided against it because, well, right now 90% of my content isn’t choices. and as for twc, while i do consistently post about it compared to other IFs, it is mostly due to the fact that the twc fandom is one of the biggest yet and there’s a lot of content available. a lot of other works i adore (like mind blind) are gaining visibility and there’s more and more content to enjoy and reblog, which is why if i started tagging everything as not choices/not twc, i would have to literally tag everything i post!! i already get overwhelmed as it is with my tag system, that would just add to it and it would get too exhausting for me. as stated in my bio, this is and will remain a multifandom blog including all kinds of interactive stories, from visual to text-based.

i totally understand that you follow certain blogs because you’re interested in their content, and when it gets harder to find what you’re looking for and your dash is clogged by stuff you don’t care about it can get frustrating! i don’t take it personally if people were to unfollow me for that reason, i myself use the follow/unfollow/softblock/block options very freely to achieve the most pleasant tumblr experience possible sjkhskj so by all means! if you’re set on staying (which i really appreciate, really!!) you could try and blacklist the single tags for the other IFs i post about. i play loads of them but only actually blog about some, so it would be doable i think. but if it’s too much, i encourage you to unfollow without worrying about it, i get it!! and if you need any clarification about my tagging system feel free to ask ✨ (and, idk if you’re a mutual or not but if you are you can also shoot me a DM to say ‘hey, it’s becoming hard to sort content i’m interested in from the rest so i’ll have to unfollow’ or something so i know it’s for that reason) have a good day!

#anonymous #answered

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profoundnet · 4 years ago

Photo

Header by @cryptomoon and is available on merch from her redbubble store. You can use all those fancy emojis (and more!) on our Discord server!

The masterpost is open for all creations by ProfoundBond members which are posted in their entirety during that month.

MEMBER CONTRIBUTIONS FOR JUNE 2020!

Featuring works by @blueraven06, @castielslostwings, @delo0821, galium, @goldenraeofsun, @imbiowaresbitch, @jemariel, @masterofevilmonkeyness, @multifandom-fanatic, ravens_tell_stories, @saywhatjessie, @shadowkat-83, shikaro, @spnsmile, tiamatv, @thefandomsinhalor, @vulfmert, and @wookieefucker under the cut.

Redamber79 - @imbiowaresbitch - Redamber79

Free Hugs��(E, 2.6k)

Castiel is moving into his dorm for his first year when his older brother Gabriel trips him into the arms of a half-naked hunk holding a sign reading FREE HUGS. Then Cas meets his roommate...

Tags: No Archive Warnings apply, meet-cute, explicit, roommate AU

The Fall of Castiel (E, 5.8k)

Another fight, Castiel's blue eyes flashing as he pinned Dean to a wall for his stubborn refusal to accept his role. A desperate attempt to convince the angel to join Team Free Will. Dean could never have anticipated how well it would work.

Tags: no archive warnings, explicit, canon-adjacent, wing king, grace powered orgasms, claiming, confessions

“Yes, Sir.” (E, 3.8k)

Dean's earned himself a spanking, but keeps losing the count. Cas decides it's time to up the ante for his punishment.

Tags: no archive warnings apply, bdsm, explicit, safe sane consensual, safewords, top cas/bottom dean

Pizza Man (E, 3.4k)

Dean and Castiel are roommates in their third year of college. Cas frantically shows his best friend a horrible typo on the latest ad for the pizza place where he works, just knowing it's going to ruin his night.

Tags: no archive warnings apply, roommates au, explicit, PWP

Grow For Me (E, 20k)

Dean is desperate for a housemate after Charlie moves out. After interviewing several potential tenants with near disastrous results, he meets Cas. Can the lawyer with the strange habit of talking to plants fit into Dean's life?

Tags: no archive warnings apply, omegaverse, POV Dean, explicit, Roommate AU, Complete, Happy Ending, mating cycles/in heat

FriendofCarlotta - @delo0821 - FriendofCarlotta

Adventures in Demon Summoning (E, 10k)

When Dean's friends get high and decide to summon a demon, it seems like a monumentally bad idea. Of course, even Dean couldn't have guessed that the whole thing would land him with a grumpy, sarcastic angel who seems dead-set on following him around.

Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, First Time, Meet-Cute, Soft Boys

JessJesstheBest - @saywhatjessie - JessJesstheBest

Five Times Dean felt Out Of His Depth and One Time He Definitely Was (G, 10k)

It was with a sore shin and a broken model P-51D Mustang that Dean began to consider he wasn’t quite ready to be a foster parent. Or it's exactly what is says in the title.

Tags: Human AU, Fluff, Parenthood, foster parent au, Established Relationship, 5+1 Things

castielslostwings - @castielslostwings - Castielslostwings

Fire and Ice (E, 165k)

Firefighter Dean Winchester has somehow tumbled headfirst into a whole new kind of relationship with his quirky paramedic best friend, Castiel Novak. What was only meant to be mutual relief from their high-stress jobs is quickly developing into something more, but with all the missed signals and crossed wires, can these two ever figure out that they're so much closer to being on the same page than they think?

Tags: Firefighter Dean, Paramedic Castiel, Dom Castiel, Sub Dean, Friends to lovers, mutual pining, angst with a happy ending, BDSM, all the sex.

multifandom-fanatic - @multifandom-fanatic - multifandom_fanatic

We Can’t Keep This Undercover (T, 5k)

Cas and Dean have been dating for a month, but Sam is clueless, despite the fact that they haven't been hiding that they're together. Or so they thought. After reflecting on Sam's obliviousness, Dean deviously suggests he and Cas try to be as obvious as possible to see how long it’ll take for Sam to realize. Cue Dean and Cas' escalating attempts to prove they're together, and Sam mistaking every scenario until Dean just can't take it anymore.

Tags: Oblivious Sam Winchester, Clueless Sam Winchester, Fluff, Feels, Teasing, Idiots in Love, Sneaky, Flirting, Domestic Fluff, Plotting

Put a Ring on It (T, 3.2k)

After non-stop researching, Cas is in the Bunker's kitchen making Dean lunch with the radio on when he hears Single Ladies by Beyoncé. Suddenly he's stuck by the lyrics and realizes just how much he loves Dean and therefore needs to put a ring on him. Cas goes out and buys a ring, and a week later he proposes to Dean in the library of the Bunker. Will Dean say yes?

Tags: Marriage Proposal, Proposal, Engagement, Castiel Proposes Marriage to Dean Winchester, Inspired by Beyoncé, Crack, Song: Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It), Romantic Fluff, Love, Fluff

galium - galium

scents & sensibility (M, 5.7k)

There are three things Dean knows about betas: (1) Betas are boring. (2) Betas can be passive. (3) Betas have a mediocre sense of smell (well, unless you're Cas).

Tags: AU, A/B/O

ravens_tell_stories - ravens_tell_stories

i’d rather drown (E, 3.7k)

Was there anything weird that you noticed?” “Weird? Other than the fact that I could see you while you were several states away?” “Yes, Dean,” Cas sounds impatient now, which is never a good sign. “Weirder than normal.” Dean tilts his head, weighing his options, then sighs and scrubs a hand over his face. “Yeah, I, uh… I could see your wings.” ~~ wing!kink destiel oneshot.

Tags: No archive warnings apply, smut and a little fluff, pwp, handjobs, set season 8

Jemariel - @jemariel - jemariel

Cas is a Tummy Sleeper (T, <1k)

A short fluffy ficlet. Cas is sleepy and snuggly. Dean is smitten. Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.

Tags: Cuddles, bedsharing, human!Cas, fluff

MasterOfEvilMonkeyness - @masterofevilmonkeyness

“Ah yes. Me. My brother. And his Angel who sneaks in his bed when they think I’m asleep” (SFW)

Art created for Meme about Sam, Dean and Cas.

Vulfmert - @vulfmert

Ghost Road (SFW)

Art created for the fic Ghost Road by Kris-Kenobi in the Bottom Dean Big Bang and it’s lovely.

Tags: Michigan, Canon Compliant, Human!Cas, Only One Bed, Case Fic, Post Series. Collaboration with fic by Kris-Kenobi.

spnsmile - @spnsmile - spnsmile

Undercover in the Bunker (M, 3.5k)

Castiel invites an angel to the Bunker to 'observe' the Winchesters in order to change Heaven's view about his charge, only to end up making Dean just a little miserable and himself a little jealous.

Tags: Domestics, Castiel in the Bunker

Devastatingly Yours (G, 3.9k)

When almost everyone—demons included— all but told Dean that his angel is the hottest, most devastatingly handsome angel in the face of the seven seas, he not only believed them, he’s secretly and most exclusively Cas’ number one fan. So when the angel is recruited as a model in the middle of a case, what is Dean to do?

Tags: Established relationships, domestic, fluff

Saved by a Stranger (E, 43k)

Rule One: Never change the deal. Rule Two: No names. Rule Three: Never look in the package. Ex-Special Forces operator, Alpha Castiel Novak adheres three strict sets of rules, which he never breaks as a mercenary "transporter" who moves goods—human or otherwise— from one place to another. No questions asked. Until his new delivery contains a deal-breaker pretty face hot-headed Omega—who turns out to be his true mate— Castiel knows rules have to be changed especially with a dangerous group intent to get their hands on his Omega. Castiel wants to see them try. Destiel x The Transporter AU

Tags: Non-con, Graphic Depiction of violence

The Room Service (E, 39k)

‘Hands off, Pants on!’

Dean Winchester has groomed himself to be a professional room service staff providing hotel guests with all the necessities they need while catering to all mundane whims and complaints except one: keep hands off the staff. Until a mysterious blue-eyed guy enters the 7th heaven floor and shakes Dean’s steamy dreams. And after saving Dean from one dangerous stalker, it seems like the restriction is practically flying off the window for his grumpy blue-eyed hero.

Hotel x Destiel AU

Tags: Romance, Fluff, First meeting, Jealousy,

Baby Plushie (G, 1.1k)

A Baby. Who says Dean doesn't need it?

Tags: Romance, Fluff. Inspired by art by @gabester-sketch.

Shadowkat83 - @shadowkat-83 - Shadowkat83

Better Than I Know Myself (T, 1.1k)

He had to make a choice; he didn't want to. The choice was between the two people he cared about the most: Cas and Sam. They both knew him so well but on different levels. How could he possibly go through with this?

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Songfic, Fluff, Love, Confessions, Mutual Pining, Ambiguous/Open Ending

Shikaro - shikaro

Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome (E, 1.5k)

the one where Dean comes untouched for the first time

or the one where they meet at a bar

Tags: PWP

blueraven06 - @blueraven06 - blueraven06

College days (G, 1.2k)

It's Castiel's first day of college and he is already late.

Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University

goldenraeofsun - @goldenraeofsun - goldenraeofsun

Magic Quarantine Ride (M, 1k)

“Cas,” Dean growls as he stalks past the hospital's general information desk. “What the hell are you doing here, you psycho? Go home - where it’s safe!” Cas whirls around. “You forgot this,” he says hurriedly as he rushes forward with the necklace he made for Dean. “I told you, it will provide protection.” He waves it in the air like a crazy person trying to ward off demons. “You are insane,” Dean says flatly.

Tags: They were quarantined, witch!cas, college nurse!dean, fluff and angst, mentions of COVID-19, mutual pining, emotional hurt/comfort, discussions of PTSD

thefandomsinhalor - @thefandomsinhalor - thefandomsinhalor

A Driver Worth His Salt (E, 68k)

Twenty-year-old Dean Winchester hates fixing up stolen cars on the side for Gordon Walker. But with his grandfather’s dry-cleaning business slowly dying, medical bills piling up, and his younger brother Sam abandoning the prospect of attending college because of their grim situation, Dean convinces himself that it isn’t as reckless as it seems.

When everything goes belly up, leaving him in a troubling position with the wrong people, a representative of the Garrisons, the city’s most powerful and notorious family, offers Dean to help him with his situation in exchange for his employment.

The job is simple: drive the passenger a few times a week to yet-undisclosed locations and return with said passenger without fail. Don’t ask questions. Be on time. Be discreet.

And never interact with each other outside of work.

Shady, but simple.

So, he accepts.

But once he meets the passenger in question—the sharply dressed and rough-looking Castiel Novak—Dean finds that abiding those rules may be more complicated than he had anticipated.

Tags: Graphic Depiction of Violence, Alternate Universe - Modern Settings, Crimes & Crimes & Criminals, BAMF Castiel, Slow Burn, Hurt Sam Winchester, Trauma

wookieefucker - @wookieefucker - wookieefucker

The Eye of the Storm (T, 8.5k)

“Only fifteen miles to the highway,” Dean said cheerfully, reading from a sign on the side of the path. Bobby groaned loudly. “Shoulda known I’d get my body back only to put it through its paces right away.” Amara left with Chuck, promising that she was going to give Dean what he needed. Maybe what he needed was different than her first impulse.

Tags: eventual Castiel/Dean Winchester, season 12 AU, canon AU, canon-typical violence

tiamatv - tiamatv

Spicier Ginger (G, 4k)

Kevin held out a flat piece of dough and spooned in a teaspoon of pork mixture. “You can’t put too much in them or leave any air bubbles inside," he explained, folding up the dumpling. "‘Cause they’ll explode.” “So kind of like packing shotgun shells,” Dean joked. “Uh, yeah. Sure, Dean,” Kevin agreed, very dubiously. “Sure.”

Tags: Cooking, Domesticity, Kevin Tran Lives!, Winchester Family Fluff

To Sleep, Perchance (T, 3.4k)

Dean wasn’t used to good dreams. But he was used to taking what he could get—so when he dreamed of a lean, compact body pressed against his back, an arm heavy over his waist, he settled into it, hazy and comfortable.

Tags: Canon Temporary Character Death, Canon Compliant, Dreams vs Reality, Mark of Cain

Ephelis (E, 1.8k)

“I think someone has sent me a picture of their genitals.” Castiel looked down at his phone. “Erect.”

Tags: AU-Canon Divergence, Dick Pics, Plot What Plot, Fluff and Crack, Season/Series 09

Phaleonopsis (E, 4.8k)

“Here, let me.” Cas’s long fingers plucked away a dead leaf from a calathea, and Dean watched helplessly as Cas rubbed the bare spot where the leaf had come away with a fingertip. “See? Isn’t it nice to let someone touch you now and again?” “Goddammit, Cas ain’t the creep, I’m the creep,” Dean muttered, and put his head down on the desk.

Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Gardening, Roommates, Fluff And Smut, Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean

(Atypical) Love Story (E, 13.k)

“Are you… scenting me?” the man in an oversized beige trench coat asked, suspiciously, in a deep gravel voice that ran down Dean’s spine. "Why? I really don't smell like much." Dean’s mouth sagged open. “Dude,” he answered, honestly, “You smell amazing.” He’d never seen anyone look so shocked at a compliment before. “O-oh.”

Tags: Non-Traditional A/B/O Dynamics; Scenting; Top/Bottom Versatile Dean/Castiel; Alpha Dean/Omega Castiel; Enthusiastic Consent

Pigment (G, 1.6k)

Dean wasn’t ashamed of what he was doing or anything. He didn’t think he had any reason to be, hell. So what if he liked to spend a little of his downtime just putting little blobs of paint inside neat little lines?

Tags: Canon Compliant, Hobbies, Painting, Fluff

#Profoundnet Monthly Masterpost #june masterpost #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #member fic #member art

36 notes · View notes

goodomensblog · 5 years ago

Text

Good Omens Choose Your Own Adventure Fic

In celebration of recently hitting the 10,000 followers mark (which is honestly wild) I wanted to do something fun to celebrate. SOOO it’s a choose your own adventure fic! KIND OF

Here’s how it will work:

I’ll write a chapter.

At the end of each chapter, you’ll be presented with 2-3 options for what the characters will choose to do next.

Comment to vote for your choice. I’ll count all votes within the first 24 hours after each update is posted.

I’m not sure how long the whole fic will be, and I’m not really entirely positive that this is even going to logistically work, but we’re gonna give it a shot!

Afterward

Part 1

- - - - - - - -

Aziraphale is hunched, examining thin, age-stained pages of a first edition copy of The Waves, when the bookshop door opens with a whine. Aziraphale did in fact, recently oil its hinges, but in spite of his efforts, the door seems determined to put up a vocal protest every now and again, as if it’s learned it’s owner’s distaste of disturbances.

Aziraphale recognizes the swift, loping footsteps, however; and the shop’s newest entrant is a disturbance the angel is more than willing to forgive.

“Don’t tell me you forgot about lunch.”

“Of course I haven’t,” Aziraphale answers, looking up from the book.

Crowley stands inside the open doorway.

Warm, late morning sunlight encircles his angular figure in a halo of rust-red. Golden eyes peer over the tops of sunglasses, which have slipped halfway down his nose. In the year since the Apoca-Wasn’t, Crowley has let his hair grow out, and as he tilts his head back, pushing the glasses up with a deliberately casual flick of his hand, the bottom ends of auburn waves brush his shoulders.

Aziraphale loses his grip on the page. Forgotten, it slides between his fingers.

Looking at Crowley, all angles and back-lit by sun, Aziraphale decides it’s a striking scene - and were Aziraphale an artist, he should very much like to immortalize this moment with paint and canvas so he might have it to keep and admire later.

“-you alright? ....angel?”

The seconds stretch, and Aziraphale realizes with an embarrassed flush that Crowley is speaking to him. Has been, in fact, for the last thirty-odd seconds.

The demon’s forehead is creased, and his brows are pressing together. Crowley’s weight is shifted forward, ready to move, but as Aziraphale rushes to stand, Crowley turns an aborted step into a forcefully nonchalant lean against the nearest bookshelf.

“Sorry dear. My mind’s still wrapped up in this first edition Woolf, I suppose. A gorgeous text,” Aziraphale says, glancing at Crowley’s slouching silhouette as he shelves The Waves without so much as a look at the book or bookshelf. “Are we late?”

“Course not. Figured you might be nose deep in a book. Came a few minutes early to remind you...and give you a chance to finish up.”

Aziraphale hums, smiling as he pulls on his coat. “Very thoughtful of you, Crowley.”

Slouching more determinedly against the bookshelf, Crowley shoves his hands into his ridiculously shallow pockets and shrugs. “Practical.”

“The two don’t have to be mutually exclusive” Aziraphale says, turning a fond look in Crowley’s direction as he adjusts his coat with a tug.

With a quiet noise of embarrassment, Crowley shoves off the bookshelf and turns on his heel. Hands still tucked in his pockets, he nods toward the door.

“Shall we?”

“Oh yes, please,” Aziraphale says, and as he follows after Crowley, he can’t entirely ignore the urge to slide his fingers down the demon’s arm and coax his hand from his pocket.

He doesn’t act on it, of course.

After the business with the foiled apocalypse and fooling Heaven and Hell, Crowley has been, well - relaxed, Aziraphale supposes. Why, just the other day he convinced Aziraphale to join him at a spa, and the two of them spent the better part of the afternoon poolside, basking, without any vigilant circling on Crowley’s part or so much as a single paranoid look over his shoulder.

It was nice.

And Aziraphale isn’t about to do anything which might risk disrupting Crowley’s newfound peace and throwing the perfectly contented demon off balance.

Heaven - er - Someplace knows, Crowley deserves all the peace and normalcy he can get.

And if that requires Aziraphale denying himself the unfortunately persistent impulse to hold Crowley’s hand - well. There are much worse fates.

He and Crowley are alive. And together.

Those two facts are enough. More than enough. Everything, anything beyond those essentials is a luxury - a gift.

Bumping Crowley’s elbow, Aziraphale smiles. “I’m eager to try this new restaurant you’ve discovered.”

Crowley’s lips quirk in an answering half-grin. Shoving through the squeaky door, he steps outside, turning to hold it open for Aziraphale.

“Oh you’ll love it, angel. The things they do with oysters, its -”

A crack rends the quiet morning.

Behind Crowley’s heel, fissures tear through the pavement.

Dark mist billows from the crevices, and before Crowley can so much as turn, a mist shrouded figure rises. Acrid smoke hisses between Lord Beelzebub’s sharp, white teeth, and their red eyes narrow at the sight of Crowley’s exposed back.

- - - - -

Upon seeing Beelzebub, Aziraphale:

Pushes between Crowley and the Lord of Hell, bodily shielding Crowley from a perceived attack.

Grabs Crowley’s arm, attempting to pull him back into the safety of the shop.

Strikes out at Beelzebub, intending to stun them before they can harm Crowley.

Comment or reblog to vote! :)

Read Part 2 Here

#my writing #good omens #good omens choose your own adventure #ineffable husbands #good omens fic #good omens fanfiction #good omens fanfic #ineffable husbands fic #ineffable husbands fanfic #ineffable husbands fanfiction #otp: ineffable #aziraphale #crowley #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale

1K notes · View notes

itsybitsylemonsqueezy · 4 years ago

Note

Tachibana/Kiryu/Majima is a good ship and ur right and u should say it and always bring it up!!!!!!!! Also like same abt the crying abt Tachibana like lord. I get emotional thinking about him holding Kiryus hand ffs

Soft boys are too sofffftttt. 💕💕💕

And, since you have so kindly encouraged me, it’s OT3 time bitchesssss.

I’ve got a lot of feels about Kiryu and Majima being fated lovers, don’t get me wrong. And canon sure as fuck does too. (I find it constantly hilarious that they Won’t Say It’s Gay and then put Majima in every spinoff and in EVERY spinoff he’s in love with Kiryu. And also what if people asked Kiryu he’s gay sometimes and he just doesn’t answer??? And what if we tanked every het romance option Kiryu could ever have??? Like... canon ain’t saying it’s gay but they ain’t saying it’s NOT gay and I’m just. Y’all are... so much.)

See, I love Kiryu/Tachibana and Kiryu/Majima, both are so Satisfying. But, if I was going to write post-Zero fic with Tachibana alive, I was gonna have to choose whether I just ignore Majima entirely and pretend That wasn’t happening or, somehow, code Majima’s relationship with Kiryu another way and... I didn’t really want to do that either. They could of course be platonic soulmates, but now I have to do relationship balancing and intimacy issues and asdkfhfkjdsahfkjsd blahhhh... rough times. I didn’t like either of these options, but I love my boy. So, what to do?

Well, the old favorite for solving love triangles is a threeway. So I began to think... Kiryu has very obvious reasons for being in love with both of them (His type is: horrifically-powerful, secretly-good human being who is Absolutely Batshit. Fight me.) And they both have reasons for loving him. And that’s when it struck me... they love him for the same reasons.

You see, Kiryu is an impossible thing. He is a miracle-worker. He is strong, sure, and kind. He takes a licking and keeps on ticking, so to speak. And, what’s most damning for both Tachibana and Majima, while a lot of their goodness must be hidden or disguised, Kiryu’s is entirely out in the open. He’s like a creature of light standing alone in the darkness and these two shadow creatures cannot help wanting to cling to him. He offers safety and protection, in different ways. He is incorruptible, he is impossible and that gets both of them.

Now here you may notice that it’s a relatively exclusive group of people who are head-over-heels, madly in love with Kiryu. It’s just those two. Oh, everyone likes Kiryu, but to really be in love with him like that, you have to be crazy. Because Kiryu is crazy. It’s harder to spot, he’s not as flamboyant as Majima or as terrifying as Tachibana. But anyone who would take on the entire Tojo Clan single-handedly, anyone who would Turn Down the chairmanship for no other reason than he didn’t want it, anyone who would run away to Okinawa and start an orphanage without any fear of reprisal, anyone who just Does What They Want regardless of consequence or risk... is crazy. That’s what seduces Majima and Tachibana, the kindred they all share, they are fucking WILD for it. And Kiryu, lowkey, is wild for them too. They’re all like that, screw the consequences, I do what I think is right regardless. They’re all SO FUCKING HARD for that shit, I can’t even explain. So you don’t fall in love with Kiryu for the normal reasons one falls in love. You only fall in love one way and it is soul-wrenching and everlasting. It breaks you. So lots of people like Kiryu, but you gotta be crazy to walk the path he’s on.

And then I thought... wait if that’s what they love about Kiryu... then they would love that about each other. Each of them is crazy enough to be a good person. Each of them has had a shit start in life, has lost much, has had to build themselves up and survive. And each of them is so fucking ready to marry the first good person they see... there’s absolutely no reason why they wouldn’t all marry each other.

So, it’s obvious with Kiryu that he’s a good person. It’s harder with Majima and perhaps hardest of all with Tachibana. So it would take some time getting to know each other and trusting each other, but god, if you could do it...

And here’s where my boy comes in. Because he is good at reading people. And, even better, once Tachibana has decided something, it will happen. If he got one look, just one good look, at Majima, just for a minute... fate sealed. Because Majima is good at misdirection, he’s an excellent magician. He can keep your attention in the left corner pocket while he’s dallying with the right side and you wouldn’t know the difference until you lost. But anyone trying that hard to keep everyone away, anyone trying that hard not to be mistaken for a good person, is hiding something. Tachibana would spot that a mile off. And, lord, if he saw him just LOOK at Kiryu, even once. Done for. No questions. Tachibana knows that look inside and out.

Would he be jealous? Tachibana isn’t really possessive by nature. A great deal of his wealth and resources are used to support those that don’t have enough. Never being covetous is one of his precautions against becoming a greedy tyrant and antithetical to his aims. Tachibana would be an irredeemable monster if not for the fact that he never loses sight of what money is and what it isn’t. His ideas about the value of money extends to other things. He doesn’t think of Kiryu as ‘his.’ He adores Kiryu, cherishes him, and would protect him from any threat. But, part of his promise and his love for Kiryu is embedded in Kiryu... being Kiryu. Kiryu has to be free to be himself. Tachibana knows he would love him less if Kiryu stopped being Kiryu. So it doesn’t hurt him to see that someone else is interested in Kiryu, or KIryu is interested in them, on the contrary... Someone else being interested in Kiryu means something fascinating.

Because, as I’ve said, you gotta be crazy to love Kiryu. If you love him, then you know what he is. Tachibana can’t share Kiryu with anyone else by the simple fact that no one else knows what he is. But someone else being interested... that means someone else sees it. No, quite to the contrary, Tachibana wouldn’t be jealous, he’d be overjoyed. If you adore Kiryu, you can’t want to own him, you just want to be close to him, be part of his life, help him. And Majima... adores.

Majima, though. Majima barely thinks of himself as a person right now, much less worthy of having wants, much less worthy of Kiryu. He does want, terribly, he loves so badly all that Kiryu is and does. But if he saw, if he thought Kiryu was already with someone else, Majima would back away without a word. He was never worthy in the first place. And all that matters is if Kiryu’s happy. No reason to interject himself. So he’d be tricky if he thought he was competing or interfering with something established because he feels no right to his own desires. But Tachibana can work fast to counteract that, especially if he’s already decided Majima is going to be a part of this, and he most certainly has.

And then there’s Kiryu too. Kiryu who is entirely ignorant of his own role and position in life, but who greatly looks up to people who are strong and do good in spite of great difficulty. Kiryu thinks Tachibana is a god to have come from so little and built up so much, to be so powerful and yet so kind. He’s blown away by what Tachibana is and does and hardly feels like he has anything to measure up. And Majima, well. At first, Majima is annoying, fierce, brash. He’s fun to fight, because he’s so fucking strong, and that’s a little bit intoxicating if he’s honest. The way he feels seen by Majima sometimes just... it itches under his skin, if he’s perfectly honest. Makes him want... things. But it’s the first time Kiryu sees Majima, the first time he realizes that Majima’s been lying all along, the first time he gets just a glance at that tender heart, that’s the nail in the coffin. Kiryu can’t let that go no matter what. Knowing that Majima is doing all this shit just to protect himself, which Kiryu has wrong, but knowing that beneath Majima is... unbearably sweet and kind, would burst Kiryu’s heart. And he’d never understand why someone so deserving would feel so unentitled. Out of his own sheer kindness, Kiryu would insist on being nice to Majima, insist on showing Majima he was worth something because it would break his heart to think of Majima’s nonexistent self-esteem.

So out of profound mutual experience and values, they could be unstoppable. If given half a chance, they could rule Kamurocho from both legal and illegal business. A trifecta of CEO, chairman, and hand of the king. They’re all fucking nuts and they all get off on the fact that each other is the softest, kindest, strongest fuck. Just... I need a Minute.

#OT3 essay #Tachibana/Kiryu/Majima #it's a GREAT ship and I'm sad every damn day that there isn't more content #I didn't invent this ship so it could be mine #It is a gift for everyone to share ^^;#narutomaki

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chatsanova · 4 years ago

Text

Have Another Go At It: Chapter 2

AO3

When La Grande Paris and Chloe collapsed, it seemed like nothing Chloe ever did would matter ever again.

Every snap at Pierre, every name-dropped or rule bent in the name of Chloe getting what she wanted, none of it would ever matter again. It didn’t matter before either, Chloe had just tricked herself into thinking it did. Her thoughts went like this: grief, guilt, regret, distraction then denial.

Chloe had always loved being center stage. It was where she thrived her whole life. Sure, her father was always busy, and sure, her mother was always gone, but to everyone else, she was the most famous, the most beautiful, the most worthy of their attention.

Occasionally she’d use her status to make things work in her direction, but Chloe just saw that as using her resources.

At her lowest points, she’d use it to humiliate others, but negative attention was still attention.

To those around her, dare she say, those that care about her, it seemed her reign of boisterous claims and attention-seeking would never end. She’d assumed they thought the worst of her, that she would fall into more destructive means, and slowly she’d become too much for her Pierre, for Sabrina, for Adrien. She’d never deserve them and it seemed most stuck around for employment. Her father paid well for friendship.

Adrien always insisted that he never accepted money as there was no point for him to do so. And well, he was in the same boat. Adrien was the first person that understood her, that knew why she was always clinging to her fame. He didn’t always agree with it, but he understood it. At that point, it was all she could ask for.

Plus, for a long time, she had Adrien’s undivided attention. He didn’t know any other kids, he was homeschooled, and Chloe was the only option for companionship. Maybe Adrien was never paid, but the sentiment of sticking around simply because there were no other options had plagued Chloe as well.

Then he came to school with her. It had taken some convincing, but Adrien’s mother thought it would be good for him, as long as he kept up with modeling.

Adrien’s attention wasn’t undivided anymore. Adrien became fast friends with Alya, also new at school, and Nino seemed attached to Adrien’s hip merely two days in.

Alya and Nino tolerated her but had a nasty habit of trying to stop Chloe from picking fights with Marinette. Adding pure, soft, can do no wrong Adrien into the mix didn’t help.

She’d been forced to mellow out in order to keep Adrien around. It was a lot easier to do so after the incident. Picking fights with Marinette stopped instantaneously, though she could feel Marinette’s irritation at the prospect. Marinette never wanted pity, but it’s what she received, even from Chloe.

Marinette had sort of snapped in a weird direction.

It was like she suddenly felt the need to grow up all at once. She wasn’t at school for 2 weeks and when she reappeared, she looked completely different.

She stopped wearing handmade clothes, she stopped putting her hair into pigtails, she just stopped. Her grades slipped, though the teachers also took pity on her.

Marinette waffled in between efforts for attention and not wanting anyone to notice her.

The new clothing style said attention, Chloe thought, recognizing it in herself.

She got looked at more often for tight-fitting jeans, mesh shirts, and dark lips extenuating her blue eyes. But then her closed-off attitude, her snappy remarks, those were defense mechanisms to push people away.

Chloe realized a long time ago that looks were something you can control. Attention is something happily given to pretty people, and sometimes when you can’t control what sort of attention you’re given, looking a certain way gives you a way to drive your own narrative.

Being in the papers for being pretty is more fun than being in the papers for being a bitch. Chloe and Marinette understood that if you’re going to be a bitch, you might as well be an attractive one. People are more willing to forgive a pretty bitch.

These thoughts occurred to Chloe during her distraction phase. It was easy to be distracted by a girl who was sitting right next to her, silent but present, especially one dressed for attention-seeking.

Neither of them wanted attention right now, and they were both sitting with the precisely right person to avoid it, but Chloe allowed herself to be distracted by Marinette. It was better than the alternative.

Chloe didn’t speak; Marinette didn’t speak.

Maybe it didn’t matter if people noticed you, as long as they kept their mouth shut about it.

She couldn’t remember why they had fought so regularly. They seemed so distant, those arguments. She assumed she had done something entitled and Marinette had done something condescending and they’d argue until someone got involved and they’d part ways until their next encounter. Maybe at that point, both had each other’s attention.

Around Marinette, Chloe felt seen. Not in a positive way but definitely in a way that allowed Chloe to feel better about herself for a few quick moments. They both fought for the moral high ground and both won in their own eyes.

Occasionally, Chloe’s thoughts would circle back around to her parents, but she quickly pushed them away. She had to, otherwise, she’d break down again.

So she studied Marinette’s hair, her eyebrows hidden beneath her bangs. Her eyelashes. Her eyes stared into nothing, or maybe into something deep in her brain. Those tended to be the same. She wondered what she was thinking about.

Chloe had wrapped her arms around her legs and buried her face in her knees. At some point, was it two? three? hours of sitting on the ground, Marinette said something.

“Do you,” she cleared her throat from disuse, “Do you need a place to stay?”

Chloe looked up sharply. Marinette also seemed surprised at the suggestion, despite the fact that she had offered it.

“Sorry, I’m just thinking... if you needed to...you could stay at my house…”

Of all the things Chloe had thought about, her physical things hadn’t even crossed her mind. Her physical home. Her home had collapsed. She’d cared so much about her shoe collection 12 hours ago and now she couldn’t be bothered.

“Oh…” Chloe lowered her face back into her knees, “I hadn’t thought about it, I guess.”

“Well, If you do…” Marinette trailed off, the offer hanging in the air. It was the official olive branch.

They hadn’t been fighting, but they weren’t friends by any means. It seemed like this was saying, “I’m willing to move on if you are.”

Maybe it wasn’t the right time, or maybe it was the best time. Maybe they desperately needed someone in their corner. Maybe Adrien hadn’t understood Chloe for a long time. Maybe Marinette and Chloe had always understood each other.

Maybe seeking attention meant seeking those that were willing to give it.

“Thank you.” And they fell back into silence.

If Chloe had thought about it, which she hadn’t, she’d probably assume that she’d stay at Adrien’s. But Adrien was in his own headspace now.

Then her thoughts shifted to the denial. This denial was justified, Chloe felt, because Adrien had practically been saying it all day.

“None of this is right.” Which in Chloe’s mind translated to, “None of this is real.”

She had felt the wrongness before but now couldn’t attribute it to anything but grief. People always tried to bargain, right?

What if none of this is real? What if my parents aren’t dead? What if I can get them back? But Adrien hadn’t lost anything. What excuse did he have for making up shit in his brain? This is what Chloe said to herself in order to decide that whatever Adrien needed to do to “fix” things, she’d do it. Because maybe, just maybe, the madman was right. That her parents shouldn’t be dead. That this was fixable.

Nino and Alya had explained their dreams to Marinette. They were more than dreams, they all understood that, but Marinette was having a hard time latching on.

“We just need to know what you think feels wrong,” Nino said. Marinette scoffed, not out of malice but out of frustration. Her arms crossed defensively against her chest, her head shook bouncing hair on her shoulders, her mouth struggled to form words. Adrien understood that frustration, as he was currently feeling it as well. It was not being able to find words that should feel so normal, and knowing something is wrong but not anything else.

“I don’t know! I don’t know what feels wrong! Everything feels wrong!”

It occurred to Adrien that you can’t really feel water when you’re surrounded by it.

Everything about Marinette’s life was wrong, as far as he could tell. He wouldn’t be able to tell you what was correct exactly, only that if you squint really hard something about her was familiarly incorrect.

It wasn’t easy to explain, and he wasn’t the best with words anyway. He glanced at his friends, who returned his glances, each with a tinge of sympathy. He couldn’t tell who the sympathy was directed towards but suspected it wasn’t mutually exclusive.

Adrien was obviously more affected by this phenomenon. Dreams were one thing, but Adrien’s mood had been violently swinging all day. It was to be expected in the midst of a national crisis, but this had begun before the building fell.

He cried when there was nothing to cry at, both in happiness and grief. He felt as though he were living two days simultaneously, one very different, but maybe not much better. And to him, Marinette was at the epicenter.

Feelings around her thrashed like waves against a rocky shore. He tapped his foot impatiently and crossed his arms, becoming jittery. He paced around the hallway.

“Adrien?” Chloe sounded more concerned than she really should have been. Adrien felt guilty for not being the one next to her to deal with her parents. And then ashamed of his guilt and then ashamed of his own self-pity.

He was so caught up in his own bullshit that he had stood to the side while Marinette, of all people, comforted her. It was bizarre, wrong, and also the best thing to happen today.

“Sorry, I’m just...confused.” His mental failings shouldn’t be a priority right now. People have died.

It wasn’t his place to be more distraught than those around him. His parents were still alive and well, his home unaffected, his life unchanged. That felt incorrect too, somehow. He felt as though his life had changed significantly, just in a way that was unplaceable. Like pointing at it would be pointing at air.

The news outlets and websites said that outside wouldn’t be safe until the next morning so everyone camped out in the main gym. There were a scattered number of teachers that had arrived before the collapse but apparently most had been stuck in a Ladybug induced roadblock.

They instructed students to stay calm and a few reached out to Chloe specifically, checking in occasionally, but Chloe made it clear that the teachers should focus on the other students. They looked surprised at this sentiment, but continued to try to help those who seemed more visibly distraught than Chloe.

They had been advised to stay put until the next morning, so the teachers gathered yoga mats and the school’s few sleeping bags from upperclassmen camping trips. A few blankets scattered the floor. There wasn’t enough for everyone so some used jackets or backpacks as pillows. The students gathered together, select laughter echoing through the gymnasium. But otherwise, it was about as quiet as an entire school of 14-18 years could be.

They struggled through another explanation, but Marinette remained unconvinced. Chloe explained her dream, eerily similar to Nino’s about a purple butterfly and not being in control. They watched her carefully. When she was done, she looked over at Marinette, who looked sympathetic and maybe a little confused.

“I’m sorry, this all seems odd, I’ll give you that, but I just don’t recognize it as familiar.”

They all turned to look at Adrien. He’s the one who needed this, he’s the one with the next step. He had no answers. He hadn't told her his dream yet. He wasn't sure he could.

“No, I’m sorry. Maybe...maybe it’s nothing. Maybe nothing is going on.” he pressed his palms into his eyes, rubbing away a headache he didn’t know he had. “Maybe I’m going crazy.”

“How can you say that?” Chloe glared, “How can you claim, how can you...give me hope that none of this is right, that maybe we’re in some sort of dream, and then just toss it aside like it’s nothing? What if my parents are supposed to be alive right now, Adrien? Do you want to just ignore it? You want me to live a life I’m not supposed to be living?”

“Chloe, I never claimed this world isn’t real, just that it’s wrong.”

“Then that’s what I’m saying. This world...isn’t real.”

“Chloe…” Alya reached a hand out to her.

“No.” Chloe stood, turned, and walked away, leaving Alya’s hand suspended in the air.

For the first time in months, Marinette slept in a building with other people in it. More people than she ever had, really. She slept on a blanket, sharing with Alya and Chloe, who had come back only when she realized she didn’t want to be alone.

She didn’t say that, of course, but no one commented on her return either. They didn’t talk about the feeling for the rest of the night, instead opting for silence or half-hearted plans for the next day.

Adrien said Chloe could stay at his house. Chloe didn’t even have to ask. Marinette and Chloe shared a glance before Chloe agreed.

Marinette had a dream on the gymnasium floor. She wasn’t lying when she said Alya, Chloe and Nino’s dreams didn’t sound familiar, but this one was not unfamiliar .

She stood on a rooftop, wind-battered her skin, and she was cold. She couldn’t possibly be really cold, it wasn’t real, but she shivered. She felt the chill on her arms. It wasn’t right.

When she looked down at her hands she was surprised to see them. She felt as though something was missing from her skin. Her hands bolted to her ears and felt nothing.

In front of her, the scene was incomprehensible. There were two people, wearing garishly ridiculous outfits. It didn’t seem like they should be a threat, but in her dream, her pulse quickened.

One of them had a gun. It wasn’t pointing at her but to an empty spot next to her. Panic ran through her spine all the way down to her bare fingertips. There’s someone missing. Where...where was he? For some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to look downwards. She knew something was just below her vision if she could move her neck every time she pulled, her vision remained stiff, forcing her chin to remain level.

The woman with the gun, she sauntered to them, Marinette and the Something. She dipped into her blind spot and came up with a ring. The man, he looked grief-stricken, panicked, and angry.

“NATALIE.” his voice boomed in the quiet city. It...shouldn't have been quiet.

“Relax, boss, once you have the miraculous everything will go back to normal. You’ll have your family back.”

“Then give me the ring”

“Hold on a second, I want to talk to the girl.”

“No, enough of this. Give me the miraculous.”

Then she held up the gun to his chest. Marinette couldn’t move. She couldn’t do anything. She was hopeless. She was helpless. She was weak.

“Give me the earrings, Gabriel.”

“Nat-”

A click of the gun, “I’m not asking.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’ll get you your family back Gabriel, but I want something too.”

“How do I know you’ll bring her back?”

“Because I don’t want you causing me trouble on the other side. Gotta keep you fat and happy. The earrings.”

He held them out. She turned around and walked where Marinette couldn’t see. A shining light sparked into her field of vision. And then a stronger brighter one a few seconds later. And then...and then there was nothing but light.

Marinette woke up her arms tight around Chloe. She gasped (from the dream) and made eye contact with the back of Chloe’s head. She’d gotten so tense during her nightmare that she’d pulled Chloe against her chest.

Okay, I’m big spooning Chloe Bourgeois.

She couldn’t even think beyond that. She felt another body on her other side, Alya sleeping peacefully.

She needed space. Room to breathe. Sitting up proved to be easier than standing up. She managed to get free, grab her backpack, and flee into the hallway, still buzzing with public school lighting. She aimlessly walked the hallways. A teacher stopped her once, she quickly rambled about going to the bathroom and they let her go. She took deep breaths trying to remember everything about that dream. The names. The faces. The location. It already began to blur in her mind. She remembered the gun and the earrings and the ring and the chill on her skin and how wrong it felt. She felt something, someone, missing from her field of vision.

She sat and drew everything she remembered. Her hands, the roof, the gun, the earrings and the ring in the hand of the wrong people. The flashing in the corner of her eye, the grief stricken angry face of the man in purple. The cruelness of the woman in blue. She couldn’t quite remember her face.

Adrien wasn’t going to sleep, he knew that when he woke up this morning. So when he saw Marinette grab her backpack and run, it wasn’t a large leap to try and talk to her. Problem was he couldn’t find her.

“Mr. Agreste, what are you doing up and about?”

“Bathroom, ma’am.”

The teacher narrowed her eyes.

“No fooling around, Mr. Agreste.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He couldn’t remember what he had done to receive a reputation of tomfoolery but apparently word had spread. That wasn’t even his teacher. He almost asked if she had seen Marinette, but that wouldn’t have helped.

He found Marinette on the roof.

“What the fuck, Marinette?”

“GOD! Fuck, Agreste, you scared me.”

“You’re on the roof.”

“Well spotted.”

“Why?”

“Needed some air.”

“Toxic, debris-filled air?”

“That warning came down hours ago.”

“What are you doing?” he gestured to her notebook.

“Drawing, Agreste, what does it look like?”

“It looks like you’re on the ROOF during a traumatic NATIONAL CRISIS. Please just come down.”

“Oh. OH! No, Agreste, I’m fine. I’m good. I just needed to…” she trailed off.

He looked around. From here, you could see where Le Grand Paris used to be.

“The world is fucked,” he ran his fingers through his hair and sat down next to Marinette. She flipped her notebook closed. She was drawing a pair of hands.

“Well spotted.”

“Marinette, I think it’s my fault.”

“Full of yourself, are we? Center of the world Adrien Agreste? The only one who realizes the world is fucked?”

“Jesus, I’m trying to,” he sighed, “Fuck, Marinette.”

They were silent for a while.

“Marinette, your life is wrong.”

"You keep saying that."

"I mean it, I don't think this is how things were supposed to go."

"You can't just brush off things you don't like with denial, Agreste. At least, that's why my therapist says."

Adrien laughed, "Watch me."

"Blondie, I can't help but want to believe you, and that's why I can't do this. Whatever it is you're doing. I can't let myself believe that nothing is permanent. I can't just go along with it because I think I'll see my parents on the other side."

"No, I know that. Of course, I know that." Adrien uses his hands to push himself off the ground, spinning that he's sitting across from her, "I just...Marinette I'm going to tell you my dream."

"Ooookay."

"No, my literal dream, the dream that I had last night, not like, my existential drea- ya know what, never mind."

"No, I get it," Marinette smiles, and it's good to see.

"Alright, I'm on this roof."

His dream starts on a roof. Of course, of fucking course it does.

"And there's something next to me that I can't see. And I'm looking at this roof and there's a guy in purple, with, like, this butterfly brooch on it. It's a ridiculous fucking outfit." Marinette has to smile. "And he's talking some big game about something miraculous. And I'm pissed. I'm angry as fuck. And then this equally gaudy bitch pulls out this canister that's got my MOM inside which is wild, and then I'm cussing this guy out. Just screaming at him. I honestly don't remember what I said. Then he moves to that place I can't look, ya know, that blind spot? And comes back with earrings. Then the bitchy lady comes back and I wake up."

"Wow, that's quite the dream." If Marinette hadn't experienced what she just experienced, she would have thought that's a fairly normal dream dream.

"Now, I know how that sounds."

"Sounds like a dream," she lied.

"No, I know, dreams are crazy in general, but I swear more happened than that. I just, it felt so weird, like I was actually on the ruth, filled with rage. I just need to know who was next to me."

Me. Adrien was next to me.

#ml fic #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #fanfic #tw parent death #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #adrienette #chloenette #chloe bourgeois

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goldenkamuyhunting · 4 years ago

Note

I know you have talked about Ogata's and Sugimoto's relationship before. But I have been wondering if Ogata actually likes Sugimoto. Since I don't ship these characters, this is not for shipping sake. But there are quite a few small things that were pointed out to me in a post, this post being 'Sugimoto and Ogatas rivalmance'. I would like to know your take on this complicated, and possible love-hate relationship.

It’s a difficult question...

...because, as of now, as I said many times, only one thing is clear: they currently want each other dead.

I’ve kind of digged in their relation many time so many know already my point of view but I’ll try to sum it up again, if that’s okay with you.

The story starts with their first meeting in which, as soon as they make clear to each other they aren’t going to let go of the skin, they’ll have to kill each other to have it because neither is going to give up and their goals are mutually exclusive.

At the start is just that.

The irony is that they starte it likely each of them assuming the other was/could be a convict.

We see Sugimoto thinks the one shooting at them was someone with the convict they captured.

Ogata, might not have assumed this at first, as otherwise the smartest thing to do was to kill Sugimoto, however he realizes Sugimoto is shooting with a type 26 (an army officier gun pretty expensive) and thinks he’d got it by stealing from a dead soldier (actually the gun belonged to the prisoner and he’s likely the one who stole it from one of the soldiers who were killed when they escaped).

When they faced each other they realize they’re both from the army.

Sugimoto knows he can’t get to an agreement that he’ll allow him to keep the skin because, even if he were to win and let him go, Ogata would call his companions and they would kill him. If he were to keep him trapped Ogata’s companions would come to search for him (which they did) and Sugimoto’s position would be even more complicate. His best option is to kill him and hope no one will connect him to Ogata’s disappearance.

Ogata at first have no idea the one facing is Sugimoto the immortal but likely grasped he’s good at fighting, which he isn’t. As Sugimoto makes clear he won’t give up on the skin (he’s not doing it for money so it’s not like they can bribe him) his only option to get out of there alive and keep the skin is to kill Sugimoto so he attacks immediately trying to catch the other on surprise.

We know how it ends.

Sugimoto tries to kill Ogata, Asirpa stops him, Ogata escapes and in an attempt to stop this Sugimoto causes him to fall in the river and then persuade Asirpa it’s better this way.

Did they apprecciate each other in this exchange in which they had no better option that to kill each other?

No idea.

Ogata, apart from thinking Sugimoto got the gun from a dead soldier, keep for himself his thoughts.

Sugimoto thinks he’s from the dregs of the unit so he doesn’t really have a flattering opinion either.

You can still speculate because since nothing is said, everything can be assumed.

The next time they meet Ogata decides they’ve to ally due to Tsurumi potentially having gotten his hands on the tattooed skins. The key problem was probably that Ogata and Kiro were already in an alliance so he had to find a discreet way to inform Kiro of this. Same as he’ll do with Ariko, Hijikata was probably keeping an eye on him and Sugimoto was probably keeping an eye on Kiro (remember at the start Sugi didn’t trust Kiro much).

Sugimoto, seated at a table with Hijikata, who in his younth, in the night went and assassinated his fellow Shinsengumi member Serizawa, his mistress Oume, and one of his followers Hirayama Goro (Sugi should know about this but he surely doesn’t know Hijikata also killed allies in Barato) and a cannibal doctor who tried to eat Asirpa’s eyes, feels the need to accuse Ogata of being an untrustworthy traitor because he left a bunch of soldiers who were betraying his own country.

Sugimoto is sympathetic to Tsurumi’s cause so, of course, he excuses them for being traitors... but I think there’s something deeper in this because Tanigaki too dumped them but he never complained against him.

Anyway Sugimoto and Ogata are in an alliance together and, searching for Hijikata, Sugimoto ends up on saving Ogata, a favour that Ogata will return in the fake Ainu village, although Sugimoto makes clear he didn’t do it because he trusts Ogata.

We’ve then a long list of Sugimoto doing some minor, petty things in Ogata’s direction.

Some theorized Sugimoto realized Ogata would later shoot him.

With the long list of people who betrayed or tried to kill Sugimoto without him ever suspecting about them I’ll call it at best a lucky guess.

In a very old post of mine, among other things, I theorized such behavior might be not about Ogata but about the circumstances in which their first meeting took place.

In a more recent meta I wondered it could be due to something that happened with Toraji, the other feline in the story (Toraji is called by Umeko Tora-chan where “tora” means tiger) and Sugimoto is merely projecting on Ogata what had happened with his best friend.

The truth is we don’t know. Again each interpretation is a valid guess until GK provides us with a canon answer.

As for Ogata at first he’s just occasionally annoyed with Sugimoto’s taunts but doesn’t answer to them.

Then something interesting happens.

Ogata learns it wasn’t Tanigaki who was responsible of the death of Tamai and Co.

Why is this even relevant?

Now we know that, when Ogata met up with Tanigaki the first time, he was already aware Tsurumi knew he had betrayed them. He and Nikaidou are basically two wanted man. They end up believing Tanigaki killed Tamai and Co... and decide to waste their time hunting him down in retaliation.

The action is useless, Tanigaki can’t reveal to Tsurumi anything Tsurumi doesn’t already know, Tsurumi could track them down, which he’ll do, yet they decide to hunt Tanigaki. Or better, Ogata decides. Nikaido by then was already obsessed with killing Sugimoto and didn’t really care much.

So apparently Ogata was really interest in avenging them.

But, as I said, Sugimoto said they weren’t killed by Tanigaki but by a bear and he was there and was watching. And it’s more likely Ogata connected the dots and figured that if they were killed by that bear Sugimoto might have had a hand in this. And this might have caused the relation to shift.

In chap 99 is implied Ogata and Sugimoto exchanged rifles, as it was Sugimoto who stole the type 38, but Ogata has it before the end of the chapter and Sugimoto might not have missed the fact as he should be capable to recognize the differences between a type 30 and a type 38.

The exchange makes sense as Ogata is much better at shooting while Sugimoto prefers to use the rifle as some sort of wand.

But then in chap 112 Sugimoto broke his rifle... and, for the first time, in chap 114, we’ve Ogata making a remark against him.

At this point, after he has broken Ogata’s rifle and Ogata remarked he did a stupid thing, Sugimoto wants the type 38 back. Ogata refuses and further hammer Sugimoto’s inability to shoot.

So, if previously Ogata merely kept quiet when Sugimoto would nag him, now he doesn’t do it anymore. Actually he starts it and finish it and from that moment on, Sugimoto won’t nag him anymore, actually he’s afraid Asirpa will say, in front of him, how Sugimoto mistakenly shoot the owl’s eye.

Do they like each other?

Whoever knows?

They sure as hell make an awesome team when they work together as Noda wrote them perfectly complementar, giving to each what the other lacks... but Sugimoto is fast to doubt of Ogata when Hijikata vents he might have joined them for personal ambitions... failing to spot how Hijikata, Toni and Kadokura planned to betray him, part him from Asirpa and use him as diversion, possibly sacrificing him.

And so we get to chap 14 and to Ogata shooting Wilk and Sugimoto.

I’m not sure why Wilk had to die, beyond revenge for, according to Kiro, having betrayed them. Ogata says shooting Sugimoto was due tot he latter talking with Wilk and, potentially, learning something he shouldn’t. It’s a good reason and Ogata definitely did his best to kill Sugimoto. He shot him in the head and then attempted to hit him again, even though he had poor vision of the spot in which Sugi was.

Ogata wanted Sugimoto dead, it’s failure on his part Sugimoto survived.

If this was because Wilk might have said him something, because Kiro was partial to Sugimoto and Ogata feared Kiro would discharge him in Sugimoto’s favour, or because he wanted revenge for Tamai and Co it’s up to speculation.

In the past I’ve also wondered if Ogata is merely projecting on Sugimoto. He knows Asirpa has a crush on Sugimoto and he knows Sugimoto has another woman and will leave her... same as Hanazawa did with his mother. He even went and tattled him out in this regard. Killing Sugimoto might be his own attempt to take it out against his father in an indirect way.

Ogata wanted Sugimoto dead and when he discovers he’s still alive while are on the ice drift his first thought is to happily try to shoot him again.

Sugimoto had made clear he’d gone to Karafuto to get Asirpa back and kill Ogata and Kiro. The whole scene in chap 171 in which Sugimoto tries to kill that man is Sugimoto projecting Ogata on the kidnapper and Asirpa on Enonoka in fact we see he calls Enonoka “Asirpa” and his fight with the guy not only strongly parallels the one he had with Ogata but it took 2 men to stop him from killing that guy and later Sugimoto even remarked how they should have let him kill the guy.

Again irony is at play because when Sugimoto finally find Ogata he inadvertitely causes Asirpa to shoot Ogata.

As he cares more about Asirpa not becoming a murderer than about killing Ogata (Sugimoto CARES A LOT ABOUT HER), Sugimoto does everything in his power to keep Ogata alive... and when he believes this won’t be possible with an excuse he goes to see him grabbing his bayonet clearly planning to kill him so that Ogata’s murder will be on his hands and not Asirpa’s.

When it turns out Ogata is fine and dandy Sugimoto makes clear his intention is to kill him. We see it when he escapes and we see it when he thinks that Vasily is Ogata.

We don’t know if Ogata plans to save him so as to return the favour and then kill him, or if he realized if he’s alive is just due to Sugimoto protecting Asirpa and therefore she’s the one to whom he owns something... but I think Ogata got a good grasp of how Sugimoto saved him for Asirpa and personally wanted him death so for him too would be more convenient to kill Sugimoto, who will clearly get in the way, than wait for Sugimoto to kill him.

Do they liked each other in all this mess?

I’ll say by the Karafuto arc the both of them were just obsessed with killing each other. At this point if friendship ever had a chance of blossoming between them, it clearly buried under the idea they’ve to kill each other.

Besides the two of them never really knew each other, likely misjudged them, possibly saw them through the eyes of other relations they had and were struggling with a lot of personal problems.

My personal HUGE hope is that for some reason they’ll overcome their murdering impulses and manage to join forces and to get to know each other and the fact they aren’t the people they think they are. I don’t think they can easily put aside all that went wrong between them but I’d like them to join forces for a common cause and... find an agreement somehow that doesn’t include murdering each other.

I think if they were to see each other for who they really are, they might get along... and even apprecciate the reciprocous strong points.

I would like it if GK were to show us than 10 years after the end of the story they managed to get friends.

For now though they’re too clouded by their idea they’ve to kill each other.

Of course though, there are a lot of blanks in their relationship, we hardly know what they thought about each other beyond the ‘I’ll kill him’ and so it’s all a matter of interpretation.

I think there are two key points in the puzzle that we’re still missing, why Sugimoto was so antagonisting with Ogata at the beginning and why Ogata ultimately decided to kill Sugimoto as I’m not fully sure it was because Sugimoto talked with Wilk... even if, in itself, is a reason good enough because, if that were true, it would jeopardize their plan.

Well, to be honest we also really need to know how the Ogata/Kiro allegiance formed as so far it’s a huge dark hole and it’s really relevant in the character dynamics instead.

If Noda will give us answers, depending on them even my view might shift radically... and I’m sure others could interpret the story very differently from how I’ve done. It’s vague enough it allows to more interpretations and I sadly don’t own the truth.

For now I’ll set on this.

Sorry, I’m not sure if it was what you were asking but the whole thing is VERY complicate and I tried for once to keep it short because I’m a tad overwhelmed by work at the moment...

Sorry again about it and thank you for your ask!

#Golden Kamuy #Ogata Hyakunosuke #Sugimoto Saichi #Ask

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