#these arent really daily either but im busy and this takes time
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Bai Zhouming and Wang Minhui 241006
link to full performance
another link this one is wmh focused
yet another link, these links are for me btw, you can just watch the one where it says full performance to get the idea
i get it wmh bzm is very cute but calm down a little, this is. usually i feel like oh xxx stronger then me i wouldve this or that. but wmh was in fact not stronger then me in this moment. i didnt mean for this moment to take up so much, but all these are imortant photos so they gotta stay,
for the end of this song they dont do a heart but thumbs up.
begining of sofa song is ql aggressively massaging cxs, and she also chokes him for a bit. Later cxs really tries to get away, making ql and lg actually strain to pull him back, and you can hear it in lg's singing.
then he tries to push ql of the table, but she fights him off and pulls lg up.
during rps song wmh does some hand throw and then bzm does it to and forgets his lines. he recovers quickly and slaps wmh shoulder bcs its his fault. they both juke the highfive, or maybe just bzm, wmh mightve just played it off well. he is also taking up 90% of that table, like back up a bit.
his face when bzm messes up the lines
they look so judgemental
while highfiving the audience at the end, bzm chooses violence and hits wmh back again while walking around him.
also it looks like lg doll fell over.
#link click musical#link click#shiguang daili ren#时光代理人音乐剧#时光代理人#wang minhui#bai zhouming#full performace linked#daily update#yes ik im posting out of order#ill get to it dont worry but im busy and i gotta pick my battles#these arent really daily either but im busy and this takes time#ill try using the queue so im not inactive half a week
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How can i get Health insurance?
How can i get Health insurance?
Hey looking for advise on how i should go about getting health insurance. I m 18 turning 19 in March my father is passed away and i live with my mother we recently moved to Arizona I m from Massachusetts i knew about mass health but never had to deal with anything due to always being insured by my mother and fathers works. Looking for what i should do Also i do not have a job as of right now I m looking for health insurance so that if i get hurt while doing things such as snowboarding an break a bone or something i don t have to pay a 12,000 bill when i have no money Thank you for any help
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Commitments: Part 2 (Gargoyles Fanfic)
Rating: Teen Fandom: Disney’s Gargoyles Relationships: Goliath x Elisa Maza Additional Tags: Marriage, Wedding Day Trigger Warnings: Light Language, Sex Mention Words: 3443
It's the day of the ceremony. Elisa has a heart to heart with her mother and father. Please leave feedback!
October 24th, 1999: Goliath and Elisa had chosen this date for the ceremony because it was five years to the night of their first meeting, when he had plucked her from the sky after, admittedly, scaring her off a parapet.
Unfortunately, their union could only be symbolic and not legal. It would also have to be a secret from everyone except for their family and closest friends, but they figured, what else is new? Elisa had long been a target of hate groups for merely having alleged, unconfirmed connections to the Gargoyles, and coming out publicly as one of their staunchest supporters hadn’t done her any favors, but openly marrying a Gargoyle would not only have been extremely controversial, it could have cost her her job, home, safety, and possibly even her freedom.
After talking with Amy, Goliath’s public defender who now acted as the Gargoyles’ legal representation in all civil matters, he had learned that there was a law prohibiting humans from marrying any being that was not also human, regardless of level of sentience or intelligence. Which meant that Elisa’s relationship with Goliath was technically bestiality and as such, illegal. Attempting to obtain a marriage license could have landed them both in jail.
There had been no such law as of 1997, Amy had told him, and she surmised the law had been pushed through in secret around the same time the Gargoyle Civil Rights Movement was being fought in court.
Eighteen months after Gargoyles had become public knowledge, the Gargoyles of the Manhattan Clan and many of their allies had testified in front of a grand jury for the Gargoyles’ very right to exist without persecution. After a lengthy battle and many sacrifices and concessions, they had won.
Following the trial, a bill had been passed granting the Manhattan Clan American citizenship, basic civil rights, and put them on the endangered species list, which automatically protected them against unlawful imprisonment, exploitation, experimentation, assault, and murder.
Before the GCRM, ending a Gargoyle’s life had no legal ramifications whatsoever, but after the bill was passed, the act of killing a Gargoyle while they were awake had been classified as murder. Any person responsible for the killing of a Gargoyle could face up to 25 years in prison.
Destroying a stone Gargoyle was seen as a “common law murder” and carried with it a much lesser sentence, but the prosecution would have to prove that the stone statue the defendant destroyed was a living gargoyle. Otherwise it was simply malicious property damage, though it could possibly be tried as a hate crime.
The bill also protected any human that associated with the Gargoyles from retaliation or discrimination, which finally allowed Elisa the chance to proudly support her friends for the entire world to see. It felt great to stand with them as an advocate after hiding them and keeping her friendship with them a secret for so long.
Despite this historic victory for their kind, there was still much prejudice and hatred toward Gargoyles and the people who stood up for them. Their bold willingness to take on public opinion had afforded them some liberties, but in the eyes of the world, Gargoyles were still practically animals, and the bill had done nothing to change that.
There were new laws in place to protect Gargoyles against threats and violence, but seemingly nothing to defend them from discrimination. In fact, several xenophobic laws that had not previously existed prior to the GCRM seemed to have quietly popped up out of nowhere.
There was a law that protected the right of any public, private, or federally owned business to refuse service to Gargoyles, including hospitals and clinics. Gargoyles also could not secure a job, license, or any property that exceeded $2000 unless they could procure a valid social security number, while at the same time there was a law prohibiting Gargoyles from legally obtaining a social security number. Gargoyles were also barred from attending any state funded schools, including trade programs, and could not earn any certificate, diploma, or degree. Amy was working to change the laws, but progress was slow and she was meeting opposition from all sides.
It baffled Goliath and infuriated Elisa, who was now forced to uphold these ridiculous laws. She hated it. It was unconstitutional and disgusting and she loathed every second that she had to be a part of it. It very nearly caused her to quit the justice system altogether, because this wasn’t justice, it wasn’t freedom, it wasn’t the same system that had convinced her to join the police force in the first place.
This was a perversion of civil liberties, bigots hiding behind a mask of equality, using the publicity of the Movement as a distraction to quietly impose their will on her friends without anyone realizing it. It made her sick to her stomach, mostly because there was nothing she could do to fix it.
The only thing stopping her from planting her boot firmly inside someone’s rear end the next time she heard the term “flying rats” was Goliath’s steady patience and temperance. He constantly reminded her that no one couldn’t stop them from affirming their love for each other, regardless of these new laws. He didn’t care who found out or how many jail cells he’d have to sleep in, he was committed to becoming her mate and nothing would stand in his way.
He loved her; nothing else mattered. He told her this every night, and every night she needed to hear it just to maintain her daily composure. But she was still angry.
The day of the ceremony arrived cool and comfortable. Elisa awoke at noon in her parent’s apartment, where Beth, Maggie, and Derek had also been staying, not just for moral support but protection in case word got out.
Since there were six hours until sundown, the process of getting ready was leisurely and relaxed. Elisa had decided to forgo several things considered normal for a wedding. There would be no bridesmaids or groomsmen, no flower girl or ring bearer, no best man or maid of honor. How would they choose one, anyway?
The ceremony itself would be short and simple with no frills or embellishments, other than Goliath and Elisa reciting vows that they had written for each other.
One thing would be done according to tradition, her father insisted, was walking her down the aisle himself. The ceremony would be taking place in the main hall of Castle Wyvern. Goliath would be standing at the fireplace with Diane with all their friends and loved ones gathered around them, and Peter would hand her off to Goliath. But, she said pointedly, he would not be giving her away as if she were property. Peter had held up his hands in acquiescence, laughing.
She wouldn’t be wearing a wedding dress; she instead wore a simple gown made of sapphire blue satin, to match the ring, with a low back and a short train. Attached to the straps was a small glass lily suspended on a silver chain that would dangle halfway down her spine. It was sleek and elegant with just a hint of slink. Beth had bought it for her in New Orleans during her post-semester vacation a few months ago, before Goliath had even asked Elisa to wed him. She and Beth often didn’t see eye to eye on fashion, but she had to admit this dress seemed like it was made for her.
She wouldn’t wear a veil or carry a bouquet, either. She did put her hair up, though, held back with a kanzashi in the shape of a blooming peony that Katana had given her as a wedding gift.
An hour before sundown, Elisa and her party loaded into two taxis and headed toward the Eyrie building. Maggie and Derek took to the rooftops and likely would arrive at the castle before them.
As they approached the building, Elisa had to admit she was feeling nervous. She tapped her foot anxiously and wrung her shaking hands.
“Wedding jitters?” Diane asked, sitting beside her.
“Yeah, I guess,” Elisa replied shakily.
Diane laid a calm, warm hand on her daughter’s cold, clasped ones. “Second thoughts?”
“No,” Elisa said firmly. “None whatsoever. I love Goliath. Marriage is unnatural for Gargoyles; he’s only doing this for me. And I want this, Mom. I really want this.” She shook her head and exhaled a trembling breath. “I don’t even know why I’m so nervous.”
Diane laughed gently. “It’s completely natural to be a little nervous, sweetheart. I needed several bellinis and a shot of tequila to marry your father, and even then, I thought I might ruin his shiny new shoes. Of course, that could have been the tequila.”
Elisa breathed a soft laugh. She looked at her mother shrewdly. “You’re really okay with this, aren’t you? Me and Goliath, I mean?”
“Of course I am, baby,” Diane said. “I want you to be happy. If Goliath makes you happy, then that’s what I want for you.”
“Dad wasn’t so sure.”
“Yes, but that’s just how fathers are, Elisa,” Diane tutted. “Remember your first boyfriend, Lucas?”
At that, Elisa laughed out loud. “Junior prom, first date, Dad sitting at the dinner table, cleaning his guns. How could I forget?”
“He did that with every boy you brought home,” Diane chuckled. “He also really liked giving those boys a rundown of all his arrests and showing them awful case files, just to shake them up.”
“Ricky ran from the house before I had time to get dressed for our date, remember? He was too scared to even look at me in class for weeks.” Elisa laughed.
Diane nodded, and they found themselves in a fit of giggles, holding each other. After a moment, they tittered to a stop.
“Goliath isn’t intimidated by Dad’s gun collection,” Elisa said.
“No, that he is not,” Diane agreed. “To be honest, honey, those boys you dated before were no match for you. You need a man who is just as strong as you are, even if he isn’t exactly a man. You’re good together. You’re a lifeline for each other. That’s something you don’t just give up on because it’s hard; the trials are what make it all worthwhile. And the two of you have had your fair share of trials. You have earned each other. Nothing else is important.”
Elisa smiled gratefully at her mother and hugged her around the shoulders.
“Thank you, Mama,” She said.
“Always, baby girl,” Her mother replied, returning her hug.
The taxis pulled into the private carport reserved for the Xanatos family. Xanatos had given Elisa and her family a code to use so they could avoid getting out in the company parking complex or in the street outside.
Peter and Beth had exited first, and Peter opened Elisa’s door and offered Elisa his hand, who smiled up at him and accepted it. She walked arm-in-arm with her father to the elevator, with Beth and her mother trailing behind, holding hands.
The sun was going down as the elevator opened to the top floor. The Maza family walked out into the open courtyard to reach the private room just off the main hall, and could see the Gargoyles on their perches in the red-gold light of sunset.
Unlike the other Gargoyles, who faced outward in their typical vigilant poses, Goliath stood inward, straight as a rail, head bowed, with his wings folded around him. According to him, this was traditional gesture for when a Gargoyle declared their intentions for another. It was also traditional to stand in the perch of one’s intended mate, but Elisa didn’t perch, so that aspect was overlooked.
Waiting for them in the private room was Derek and Maggie, who had arrived first as Elisa predicted. Owen had rather thoughtfully put out a small refreshments table for the bridal party. Xanatos had offered to throw them a big wedding with a reception and everything, which Elisa had refused in no uncertain terms. This smaller touch was much more fitting.
Also in the room were the stone figures of Angela and Broadway, crouched defensively around their egg. They were understandably protective of it and had taken to sleeping in this room during the day, as it was far more secure than standing out in the open over a one hundred and thirty story drop. Since the castle no longer had a rookery, and even if it did, keeping a single egg in there would be superfluous, the anxious parents-to-be took to guarding their precious cargo closely. When they were awake, the bundle never left Angela’s arms. Even during missions, Broadway and Angela took turns staying with the egg, keeping it within view at all times.
Elisa understood. It took a very long time for Gargoyle children to be born: six months gestation in the body of the female and then a full ten years as an egg. Elisa thought nine months was a long time to wait for a baby. She couldn’t even imagine the kind of apprehension and patience it took to wait for over a decade to meet your own child.
But, she reflected, if that’s what it took even for humans, she would do it. She would do anything to have a child. Before she met Goliath, it wasn’t something she had given much thought. Back then, she was much more focused on her career and wasn’t sure if she even wanted kids. If and when she decided she did, she figured she had plenty of time. Now that she knew it wasn’t a possibility with Goliath, it was all she could think about.
Elisa had talked to Beth and Maggie about it the night before. Maggie lamented that she wasn’t sure her augmented body was capable of bearing children or what effects her’s and Derek’s altered DNA would have on them. Beth and her girlfriend Serena, both only 21, had no interest in children. They both sympathized with her, but what could be done?
In Goliath, Elisa had found her true equal and soul mate. She was overjoyed to be with him and wouldn’t change a thing about their relationship, other than more social acceptance. Her mother was right, they had earned each other and they deserved to be happy. A child wouldn’t necessarily make it that much better, but still. Still. It would always be in the back of her mind, the one thing just out of reach.
Just as they settled in, cracks began to form in Angela’s and Broadway’s stone exterior. Instead of the normal explosive way they shed their skin, they carefully shifted this way and that to slither out of their cocoon, diligent even in sleep about protecting their offspring.
“Elisa!” Angela exclaimed upon seeing her, rising to her feet. “You look lovely!”
“Thanks, Angela,” Elisa said, embracing her.
“Are you nervous?” Angela asked as Broadway came up behind her, holding the egg.
“A bit,” Elisa said.
“I’ve never seen a human wedding before,” Broadway said. “Other than on T.V.”
“Neither have I,” Angela said.
“Well, this won’t be your average wedding, Big Guy,” Elisa said. “I dumped a bunch of the traditional stuff I didn’t think was necessary. This’ll be pretty bare bones compared to most other ceremonies.”
The door opened. Lexington, Brooklyn, and Katana entered the room with Matsuko, who had her tail wrapped around her father’s hand.
It was an odd contrast to see Brooklyn next to Lexington now, who had at one point been his and Broadway’s equal in age. Brooklyn no longer crouched when at rest anymore; that was apparently a trait among young Gargoyles or ones on the smallish side, like Lexington. Brooklyn had aged over forty years in the time stream, though it was more like twenty in equivalent human years, and his countenance reflected it. He stood much taller than before and straight as a post next to his mate, resting a hand on her shoulder.
Elisa felt a little like Lexington had gotten the short end of the stick. Compared to Broadway and Brooklyn, who were both mated and fathering children, Lexington seemed a little left out. He was always his usual cheerful self, though, and never seemed bitter about how things were.
“This is so exciting!” He said brightly. “Aren’t you excited?”
“That’s one word for it,” Elisa said wryly.
Katana grinned to see her gift in Elisa’s hair. “It suits you,” she said. Brooklyn smiled fondly at her.
“I love it, thank you again,” Elisa said.
“Goliath is in the Main Hall,” Brooklyn said, his voice deeper than it used to be. “He and the others are setting up and getting ready.”
“We’d better join them,” Derek said, nodding to the others in the room. All except Elisa and her father moved toward the door.
“Hey, guys, before you go,” Elisa said, addressing her Gargoyle companions and her family. “I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am to have you all in my life. You guys have been the best friends I’ve ever had, and I don’t know how to thank you for it. I know that this is all a little alien to you, and I’m honored that you’re all a part of it. I don’t know who I would be without you and I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate each of you. I love you guys.”
“Aw, Elisa,” Lexington said shyly. “We love you, too.”
“I look forward to becoming part of your family,” Angela said. “My father loves you. His joy is my joy.”
“We’d better get going,” Diane said. “I need to get into position and prepare Goliath for the ceremony.”
Elisa nodded. They hadn’t done a rehearsal. This was all being done with no prep-work, largely because the ceremony itself was going to be short and to the point, so they hadn’t felt the need for it. Elisa was rethinking this now, perhaps a bit too late.
The others left to get into their places, leaving her alone with Peter. He held out his hands for hers, and she took them, facing her father and willing herself not to cry.
Peter shook his head, smiling gently at her. “I can’t believe it.”
“What?” Elisa asked.
“My baby girl. My firstborn. Getting married.”
Elisa laughed. “Technically. Not legally.” She looked up at him, wincing. “Does that bother you?”
Peter shrugged. “Laws change. In ten years time, who knows? Maybe you’ll renew your vows with a real license in hand.”
“One can dream,” Elisa said wistfully. She looked up into her father’s eyes. “I’m glad you and Mom are being so cool about all of this. I can’t imagine what you thought when Goliath first spoke to you about it.”
“Well, to be honest, we’d have supported it regardless. Nothing Goliath could have said would have actually mattered,” Peter replied.
Elisa frowned. “Why not?”
“Because I trust my children,” Peter said. “If he had asked you and you said yes, there must have been a damn good reason for it. Even if I don’t fully understand it, it doesn’t mean it’s a bad decision. You’ve always been a good kid, Elisa. You were the one out of all your siblings I never had to worry about. You always had a good head on your shoulders. Hell, you never even had a rebellious phase, and you could have been a real monster if you wanted to be.”
Elisa flinched at the use of the word monster.
“Sorry,” Peter said. “Not what I meant. I should have said disaster.”
She playfully nudged him, laughing a little.
“You’re smart, Elisa,” Peter continued. “Smarter than your old man ever was. If you say this is what’s right for you, how am I supposed to argue?” He pulled her into a hug. “I’m here for you, kid, no matter what.”
She squeezed him tight. “I don’t deserve you guys.”
“Yes, you do,” Peter said. “You deserve the world. What kind of dad would I be if I didn’t give my little girl the world?”
A knock came at the door and Brooklyn peeked his head in. Peter and Elisa parted.
“Everyone’s ready,” He said. Elisa nodded with a shaky smile of thanks, and he withdrew.
“This is it,” Peter said. “Ready?”
“Yes.” Elisa closed her eyes and sucked in a breath, holding it for a five count. She exhaled slowly, opened her eyes, and said, “Lets go.”
He extended his elbow and she hooked her arm through it. Straightening her spine, she let her father lead her out of the room.
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#Fanfiction#Fanfic#Gargoyles#Disney's Gargoyles#Goliath#Elisa Maza#Brooklyn#Broadway#Katana#Angela#Lexington#Peter Maza#Beth Maza#Talon#Derek Maza#David Xanatos#Owen Burnet#exophilia
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NATEMARE- AAA- Okay so i wanna know just how generally Natemare would interact with people? Especially like Nate’s friends and such. Also what he does in general to try to cause ruckus among the school grounds? A daily night for the Natemare basically eHENSJS
OOOOOF OKAY SO
➭ if/when natemare interacts with people, its always with like a really sassy or sarcastic manner. he talks and acts like everything is a joke to him, and in general hes just like. suuuper pretty about everything. like said before, its like regular nate but turned up to eleven. there are specific lines that he doesnt cross tho (as while natemare is here to wreck havoc and make everyone uncomfortable, since he begun as a defense mechanism for nate he was never meant to be the bully he was defending nate against), so he doesnt touch up stuff like specific personality traits or anything like that that nate knows would be really hurtful to others. its much more about the external things that people like and maaaaaybe touching up a little on the physical things too that he picks and makes fun of for the most part. and just being a general dick tbh
➭ when it comes to close friends tho, well.. its basically the same as with people in general, but everything he says and does is much more personalized. if there is a thing that nate knows they like, natemare is most likely going to be making fun of it to negate every positive thing nate has ever expressed towards it. for few examples;➭ the whole thing with ayu tbh. he knows nate likes him, theres a chance ayu might like him back, so natemare is just gonna take the ball and run with it so far its invisible tbh. to the point where it literally hurts every party involved cause yes he would make a “confession” to ayu that nate likes him but at the same time frame it to sound like its all a big prank and nate is just kidding with him➭ with kit, nate is the bff that cares about everything they do and passionately wants to be involved - stuff like mads’ birthday and their d&d sessions. (he doesnt know about the importance of october until afterwards so him just being a general douche about everything isnt cause of that tho) so when the time for those comes, natemare would be there to just generally ruin the fun for everyone, be it with leaving a wreck of a messy room behind him or just making todays campaign unenjoyable for everyone with his ridiculous decision➭ with fife, its about making fun of the things she cherishes the most - her friends and what they mean to her. he would poke fun at her friendship bracelets and just in general keep telling her things arent gonna work out➭ when it comes to mads (who im. still thinking is ultimately the one that gets first targeted by natemare tbh as it starts with the mess that is her birthday party and eventually the first personalized “attack” by natemare), he gets real with her about her dreams and her writing. that goes through just about as well as you can imagine➭ then theres stuff like his other friends. like with jared hes gonna poke fun about how he smells and the sparkles and how hes. actually not the most popular guy at school. unfortunately fellow bandmates jirard and satch also face this side of him cause “you think youre good singers but the truth is you aint” and just in general makes fun of them being somewhat of nerds. whoever loses the school election gets poked for it and whoever wins gets poked for it cause “politics in here dont matter anyways look at you wasting your time”. and so forth honestly
➭ as for how generally natemare raises hell, it goes down multiple ways depending on the day/night, really; in general hes just unpleasant to everyone, pokes his head into other peoples business constantly, shares bad “honest” opinions about topics that. arent even his deal tbh. hes loud and rash, probably yells a lot out of turn. put any teacher in front of him and he’ll verbally fight them until hes thrown out of the room➭ physically he just. loves making a mess. breaking things a lot (he especially has a habit of ripping apart books/notebooks and breaking pens as its been established that those are usually other peoples property and people care about them tbh). if theres stuff on the table, well give him like a minute and it might not be there anymore. food or drinks anywhere? okay well he’ll drink everything and start a food fight with himself tbh. he just likes throwing stuff around a room a lot so everything is a mess➭ he also. climbs on everything? like nate has a habit of climbing up to higher places just because, and natemare does the same but he’ll. climb on literally everything. on and over everything. im also. just imagining that he sits on tables a lot, no matter where he is or whats happening. if he needs to be still for a moment, and theres a table, you can count that hes sitting on it
➭ its very usual that by the end of the night (aka the point where he locks himself in his dorm room and passes out for the night to wake up back as nate the following morning feeling almost like he has a hangover cause oh my god hes feeling so awful and so tired what ever) at least one person has gotten their feelings real hurt by natemare, someone has had their stuff either broken or stolen (often times its both tbh), and at least one class or dorm room is a huge mess. on worst nights this is also a thing thats winded up to eleven, but one of each is like the bare minimum you can expect when natemare is around for the night
#asagao!nate#asagao!ayu#asagao!kit#asagao!fife#asagao!mads#tagging them as its here for some deets yay#this is long and i regret nothing lol#i hope this clears at least something up! im. very bad at explaining things hhhhhh#shinrijeu#thank you for asking! <3#aLSO VERY IMPORTANT TO NOTE NATEMARE DOESNT CAUSE DIRECT PHYSICAL HARM TO PEOPLE THO#if someone gets physically hurt when hes around its always indirect#might be cause of his actions sure but he never does it himself#just to add that up there cause i keep forgetting it lol
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Wishes, Dreams, and Memories Chapter 31
Fandom: Rune Factory 4 Rating: T (to be safe) Genre(s): Adventure, Hurt/Comfort Characters: Lest, Dolce, Pico, Amber, Dylas, Leon, Frey, Arthur, Margaret, Forte Summary: She had a wish to see him again. He had a dream of her last moments. They had their memories of having only each other. The amnesiac Earthmate never knew that by bringing his best friend back wouldn’t make his daily life go back to normal. Nor did he know she was the key to his and his ancestors’ past. Chapters: list Navigation: <<prev | next>> Author’s notes: The first chapter of the last arc is here!
Chapter 31 – Calm after the Storm
-Lest’s POV-
After the battle, Kane managed to find us in the castle after he had gone to the cave to escort the Guardians out safely. Frey explained everything to us, about how the Guardian’s corruption could affect even Venti, and we also told everyone about our relation to Ethelberd and Halwell. The news was a surprise to them as much as it was a surprise to me. After all, we don’t even look like the Sechs emperors by the outside and inside.
Two weeks have passed since that day. I can’t tell whether the corruption is completely gone or not, but all I can tell is that Venti is doing a lot better than when the corruption was still at large. Frey isn’t staying in the castle with us anymore, but she still visits us at least once every two days. She still has duties to attend back in the capital, so she can’t stay longer than a few hours.
I’m starting to feel that she is a close sister to me, but on the other side I can still tell that she’s not telling us everything. None of the Guardians or Kane actually paid attention to Frey’s wound back then, expect for Dolly and Pico. She looked like she was aware of something about Frey, but for some reason, she’s keeping it from me. I can’t actually force her to talk about it, but the fact that she’s hiding something from me is bothering me somehow. Why can’t you just talk to me about it if it’s actually bothering you?
-Third Person POV-
“Sweetie, will you stop staring at me?” the sound of his wife snapped Lest out of his trains of thought, realizing that Dolce was standing in front of him.
“Oh, sorry,” Lest shook his head to make sure that he was completely awake before putting his hoe over his shoulder, “Well, I’ll be working in the fields for the time being so let Frey know when she drops by to visit.”
“I will,” Dolce nodded before giving him a peck on the cheek, “Work hard, okay?”
Dolce watched as Lest left for the fields before Pico popped in front of her, “Are you sure about this, Dolly? Shouldn’t you say something about it to him?”
“No,” Pico followed Dolce closely as the two of them headed for the kitchen, “I need to be certain about the facts first. What we’re thinking now is just the conclusion we come into after we looked at her wound.”
“You’re scared, aren’t you milady?” Pico’s words made the Guardian stop her activity, “You know how it feels to lose a family… well, both of us do.”
Dolce let out a sigh as she turned to Pico with a frown, “He’ll know the truth sooner or later. I don’t want him to think that I’m hiding everything from him.”
Pico let out a sigh and smiled, “I think you’re worrying too much, Dolly. A bit more than usual, I guess,” Pico watched her friend working in the kitchen, “I guess I can see how much your love for Lest had changed my Dolly!”
A blush appeared on the Guardian’s face as she continued cooking, “S-Shut up!”
Lest let out a tired sigh before he admired his handiwork on the field, which was completely clean of garbage from the storm two weeks earlier. Crop seeds were planted on the tilled field and they had already been watered. His job on the field was finished and it was time for him to do his work in town.
Just as Lest was putting down his tools at the edge of the field, a scroll fell out from his pocket. He picked up the fallen scroll and the emblem of the Sechs Empire was visible on the scroll’s paper. A frown came to his face as he remembered the scroll’s contents when it was first given to him.
-Flashback-
“So…” Lest spoke up to Arthur and Kane as the three of them were in Arthur’s office, “The empire is requesting me to be the acting emperor?”
“Yes,” Kane nodded as he rolled the scroll he was holding and handed it over to Lest, “Lord Halwell still hasn’t awakened after a week of recovery even after getting help from the best doctors.”
Arthur turned to Lest, “It would be sad to see you go, but I will not force you to go if you wish to stay.”
Lest turned back to Kane, but stared at him for a moment before speaking up, “I’m sorry, I can’t.”
“No, I understand,” Kane responded with a smile, “The higher ups only requested for you because of your relation to Lord Ethelberd, but they never forced me to take you back.”
“Speaking of which,” Arthur interrupted, getting Kane’s attention, “How is the empire doing currently?”
“Much better than when everyone was corrupted, that’s for sure,” Kane replied with a shrug, “Everyone remembers what happened, but they don’t really know why it happened. Other than that, the corruption in the empire seems to have disappeared without a trace.”
“I see,” Arthur nodded in understanding, “If there is anything else we can do to help, please let us know.”
“Of course,” Kane nodded, “My main purpose for coming here is to deliver the scroll, but I’ll tell the higher ups that you can’t take Lord Halwell’s place.”
“Okay, I’ll see you later,” Lest waved the soldier goodbye as he left the office.
-End of Flashback-
“The acting emperor?” Ventuswill asked as Lest showed her the scroll in the dragon room, “Hey, I guess I’m right about you being royalty after all!”
Lest let out a laugh, “Don’t be too proud on it, Venti. You need to remember who my father was.”
“I know,” Ventuswill paused for a moment as she stared at the wall, “Speaking of Ethelberd, I think I recall hearing something when I was still in the forest. I know that I recognize that voice, now I remember that it was him.”
“Wait,” Lest looked at the dragon god in surprise, “You met him in the Forest of Beginnings?”
“Not exactly meeting in person, though,” Ventuswill put her claw under her jaw as she tried recalling the encounter, “I can only hear his voice saying that he won’t surrender until all Earthmates perish.”
“Can he still be alive in there? And corrupting people into doing things they shouldn’t do?” Lest asked.
“No, that won’t be possible,” Ventuswill shook her head, “Humans can’t stay and live in there for a long period of time. If a person stays there for longer than they should have, their body will soon break into runes. Even so, the soul would still remain in there forever unless there’s a special case that they’re resurrected.”
“Just like what happened to you,” Lest added, “But if his soul is still there, can he do any harm to the world?”
“Hm…” Ventuswill went back to her thoughts, but nothing came into her mind, “I’m not sure, but I think it’s very unlikely.”
“I hope so…” Lest let out a sigh, “This corruption thing just happens to come and go without a reason and a trace. I just wish that there’s a clue somewhere so that we can prevent it in the future…”
“And then, he ran around the house in panic while yelling that there was a deadly scorpion in the house!” Frey and Pico broke out into laughter while Dolce simply chuckled as she sipped on her tea.
The three girls were hanging around at the castle’s balcony with Frey telling stories about the siblings’ daily lives in the past. Two plates of flan were sitting on the table untouched as the three were busy talking. Pico was completely taken into the conversation, but Dolce had noticed that her guest hadn’t touched either her tea or her flan.
There was a single question she had been meaning to ask Frey and her observation prompted her to pop the question right away, “Before we hear more of those stories, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
“Sure, we can talk while you have your flan,” Frey responded as she simply looked at her share of flan.
“Okay,” Dolce took her share of flan, but the scent of her favorite meal suddenly made her feel weird in the stomach, “Ugh…”
“Are you okay Dolly?” Pico saw as Dolce put a hand on her mouth before shaking her head.
“I’m fine…” Dolce uncovered her mouth before taking a spoonful of flan, only have the weird feeling on her stomach come back, “Not again…”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Frey asked worriedly as she took the flan from Dolce’s hands, “You look kind of pale.”
“I’m… okay… ugh…” Dolce quickly rose from her seat and ran inside, heading straight towards the bathroom.
“Is she sick or something?” Frey turned to Pico.
“That would be my best guess…” Pico turned to the barely touched desserts, “Dolly really loves sweets like flan and cakes, but she’s been avoiding them for the past week for some reason.”
“Hm…” Frey tapped her chin as she was thinking, “I don’t think she’s suddenly become bored of eating her favorite dishes…”
“That’s impossible. There’s no way she’s going to give up on her all-you-can-eat cake routine every-” Pico was silenced with a single talisman landing over her mouth.
“You’re saying too much,” Dolce had just returned from the bathroom, but her face told the other two that she wasn’t feeling that much different than before, “Sorry for that interruption.”
“I don’t mind, but I don’t think you look well at all,” Frey replied worriedly, “I’ll tell Lest about your condition when I see him, so why don’t you two just stay home until he gets back?”
Dolce let out a defeated sigh, “That… might be the best…”
Lest let out a tired sigh as he pushed the castle door open while carrying an extra paper bag with him. With Dolce taking her temporary leave from her evening shift, he decided that it might be best for them to eat dinner at home to let her rest at home. With the ingredients in the paper bag put in the kitchen, Lest left for his room to check on Dolce.
Lest had expected the female Guardian to be asleep with Pico watching over her, the scene he saw was Dolce knitting on the bed with a terrified Pico at the edge of the bed, “I’m… home…?”
“Oh, welcome back Sweetie,” Dolce put her knitting aside and greeted Lest with a smile as she approached her, “How was work today?”
“More or less the usual, I guess…” Lest’s attention was focused on Pico as he let Dolce took his backpack off him, “More importantly, what happened to Pico?”
“Just a simple argument between us,” Dolce replied, completely ignoring the fact that Pico was still in the room, “Are you going to prepare dinner tonight?”
“Yeah,” Lest nodded, “I was planning to make your favorite cake today, so-”
“I want… something else, if that’s okay…” the attention of the other two in the room shifted to her, “I want… some fried veggies…”
The room became completely silent with Pico hovering in front of her with the look of disbelief, “Did I hear that right? Dolly, you never liked eating any kind of vegetables!”
“I’m kind of surprised too,” Lest added, “But if that’s what you want, I guess I need to head out to buy the missing ingredients…”
“Alright,” Dolce nodded, “Sorry for the trouble.”
The two watched as Lest left before Pico turned back to Dolce, “Are you sure you’re fine milady? Do you need Jones to check your condition?”
“I’m perfectly fine,” Dolce let out a sigh before she went back to her knitting, “You’re being a lot more stubborn today. Do you want to be wrapped in talismans again?”
“N-No, please don’t do that again to me!”
#rune factory 4#rf4#fanfiction#fanfic#adventure#hurt/comfort#rf4 lest#rf4 dolce#rf4 pico#rf4 ventuswill#rf4 arthur#rf4 frey#rf4 ethelberd#original character#rf4 lest x dolce
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I got in a relationship last November.He have four kids.We be together all the time and he swears he loves me and wants to be with me for forever.I pick his kids up from school and all.He even calls my family is in laws and we're good together.This isn't my first serious relationship. I've have had a couple and been married too.I just have my moments when I wonder if we're moving too fast?What do you think from what I've told you?We started saying I love you within two months and I like I said,he calls my family his in laws and I do the same.He talk marriage a lot.His kids are in high school.The youngest is in 9th grade.Sometimes I wonder if once age graduate ,will things go left field?I wonder because I have a child too who's younger than all of his and you know sometimes things change after children get older and go off to college.I cook for him,wash his clothes etc.People say we're moving fast and bring up how I've been married before and do this with every man which is true but I don't understand why my previous relationships would matter with this one.I also watch a lot of tv and see how people who get with somebody who have older children,when they leave the nest things change.His youngest is 14 and my child is 6.I just wonder if he'll really stick around til my child is 18 and goes off to college.
Wow, Friend. Im a huge believer in following your intuition so if you have a hunch youre moving too fast, you likely are.
The reason people are warning you and citing your previous relationships is because the best predecator of the future is your demonstrated pattern of behavior. and they know previously this is almost exactly like what youve done and it hasnt ended successfully.
HOWEVER, this is your life. I dont want you to think your goals of lifelong marriage and healthy coparenting arent attainable bc thats simply not true. I believe you need to silence the noise of other peoples' lives and opinions and tap further into whats motivating youe fears so you can frame your mind (and thus your actions) for success.
I believe when you get clear w your partner about what you expect and aspire to (culture) for yourself it helps them play their part in making it so. Theres a lot yall just start doin without discussing and its extremely comfortable...for now. It sounds like you have a vision of how your future will go and youre not sure if he's committed to that future vision and that uncertainty is causing fear.
Heres what you should do:
Write down how your marriage and family and homelife have went from the perspective of yourself at 50 years old and 80 years old. I highly suggest marriage counseling - what would be a good timeline to speak with a licensed professional? What do holidays look like when all the kids are gone? What did they look like when they were here? What is your marriage/family culture (the daily family/home/marriage beliefs, traditions, values and customs)?
Beliefs: For example Im Christian but my ex wasnt. We agreed to let our future children choose and continue to practice our religions in our home. Our relationship had huge issues bc he didnt understand Christians have sacred altar spaces just like Ifa do. It helped me confidently leave a relationship knowing his continued violation of my sacred spaces was unacceptable (he stole my tithe money twice).
What do you believe and guide yourself by when you feel powerless/hopeless? What beliefs will you pass down? What beliefs do you want to be encouraged in/supported by your partner? Whats their role in it?
Traditions: Its traditional in my family to attend church EVERY Sunday, Tues and Wednesday for yeaaaarrrs. To have baked chicken at least twice a week. For Mom to cook. But its tradition in my bf family to go to church Sundays but had sports Mon-Sat. I didnt have that til highschool. His dad cooks a few nights a week when he wasnt traveling for work and when he did they had a nanny.
But we can agree before their in hs we want their extracirricular and spiritual lives in balance. We want our labor at home to be balanced for me as a Mother. Both are important to us and therefore our future family.
What are your families traditions each week/year? Who has to make it happen? Whats everyones role in it? What are your traditions as a couple every week/year? When will each of you bond individually with your children?
Values: Black ppl believe in pinchin a penny but some of us go too far 😂 I go years without shopping for clothes or sometimes providing basics for myself. (There were years of my life I was so broke I didnt even buy underwear lmfao). Certain values are great, some we'd like to leave behind!
At the end of the day whats more valuable than money to you? What do you want to invest time/money in as a couple? What do you still want time/money to invest in yourself as a woman?
Customs: Things we do without announcing or planning - its just our way. Ive dated men that have arrived while I was at a work event. And had to network, speak to roomfulls of people at a time and theyre bored, ready to leave feel like theyre wasting their time etc. My current asks me, "Did you bring your business cards? You better go talk to that lady!" Super supportive and always in my corner actively cheering me on.
These unspoken mini-traditions we have in certain instances. Postures/roles we take without announcement. Customary practices like chivalry. That may not have a calendared time but we definitely expect to reoccur.
How will you treat/support one another when youre not making a lot of money? Who's responsible for what? What about when youre both/either working a lot - what are our roles in supoorting one another? How do we model for our children about conflict resolution? How do we best celebrate one anothers accomplishments and differences? What does a typical week day look like for everyone in the family? What about the weekends?
Beliefs, values, customs and traditions make up our individual culture. Getting on 1 page about what that looks like - what that can look like, and getting clear on it for yourself, then fielding it with your partners ideas so its really a livable life plan? Thatll melt the fear.
But you need to root yourself FIRST. and decide whats negotiable and not negotiable so you can be happy, sure and committed.
#anon#anonymous question#anonymous questions#blended families#dating advice#cohabitating#taenonymous#Aspiring Wife Anon
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Return of The Thing
Sort of. By thing, I mean me. But I love this movie and the meme. Ok, context for this post: - Where I’ve been - Why I left - Whats hip happening - Where I’ve Been:
Long story short, I’ve had real life matters to deal with. Firstly, my entire household contracted COVID. Well, *almost*. We’ve been through constant testing, quarantine zones, and had the ambulance up numerous times. My parents and 2nd oldest sister were hit the hardest. My 3rd oldest sister was positive and asymptomatic. Now something none of us could predict that I would be completely COVID free despite my compromises. Despite that I was in close contact with them all, including the 2nd oldest who contracted it first and accidentally being coughed on a few times lol. I went through the exact same testing and yet nothing. No symptoms. No presence of COVID. And I took no precaution to isolate from my family as I presumed in our small house we’d all get it, so I was more preoccupied with caring for the sick. Ultimately, I’ve either gotten off scott free this time or there’s a chance I may actually either be highly resistant or even immune. Even then, I WILL be having the vaccine as and when my family are eligible. And we all still follow regulations set. I’ve also had other real life obligations, much of it either mundane fixing up my living circumstances to more personal matters. Overall, I have been extremely preoccupied.
A mini update, the stray cat Big has been in our porch a lot more in recent times due to the snow as well as being even more affectionate. And Queefster passed away after a good life and a full tummy. Why I Left:
Aside from COVID, business, and my own health declining, I’ll be blunt. I left because of how disgustingly toxic most fandoms are nowadays, but Hazbin is one of the WORST for it. That includes harassment, death threats, mocking MI and triggering an ED. In fact, I’ve even seen others get rape and death threats. So yes, even if YOU are a decent fan, collectively most of you arent doing any favours. Even some critical blogs seem to be overtly catty in ways no one else seems to pick up on under this ‘look how blunt I am’ look and it’s just... You dont have to be a prick to have your say, to be honest and to disagree with the trending. That’s a few on and off of tumblr, and no one I follow anyways.
In regards to my ‘sensitivities’ - two things: 1) Of course trauma is going to hurt, 2) Im fully aware of kids doing and receiving much of this, which hurts MORE. I have my own lil squids and Im worried of them eventually having to deal with this shit. And no, no one SHOULD have to put up with such rude and poor behaviour. Agree to disagree doesnt live in some people’s realities, but by God harassment and bullying seems ok if YOURE doing it or enticing it. That ISNT ok. Even if it seems like nothing to you it could kill another. I certainly will not take your shit.
On huskerdust I STAND by my words. It’s fucking creepy and there is sexual harassment and obsession. And there are large triggers. I will not go into detail here because Ive done that dance before and I’ll be refining it again. YOU may like it, however it triggers my very real traumas as well as those in my bloodline. Be respectful and keep that shit away from me. And for goodness sake, parents PLEASE dont raise your children to behave as such online. And no, being anon isnt actually fully anonymous. Also to send hate and threats anon is not only traceable but also cowardice. Grow a pair and find a hobby. I avoid my traumas for the most part. I will not allow you to weaponise or diminish my own or others experiences for your fictional based gratification. Likewise, if it becomes canon, I’ll just make an AU where it is not. Simple. You can hate it but Im not your personal circus so go be toxic elsewhere. IF you like HD and follow me, honestly... Youre probably better to unfollow as I am deeply and passionately against it and stolitz, and valvox, and am very vocal on that. Dont mistake my traumas and discomfort as a personal attack - and dont personally attack me over it either. And before anyone claims homophobia, no. This is nothing to do with sexuality. You arent the victim. If you love these pairings with your soul to the point of a ‘stan’, then youre best off unfollowing because I really am too old for extremists and rabid fans more crazed than the infected in REC. Also I never used to hate angel but now... Fans behaviour is abhorrent and hes so over saturated that I honestly really dislike him now. Doesnt mean you have to hate him too, but just bloody respect that angel isnt loved by all, he can be triggering to some as well as toxically enabling [incl. past addicts], a vile homophobic gay stereotype and just overall a lack of knowledge and respect of sex workers as a whole. When you know a lot of the ins and outs and victims, it’s hard to overlook. I respect your triggering ships by avoiding that mess. Respect others. The problem with Viv - and I will elaborate in the future - is that your audience is often a reflection of your work and it’s message/presentation. And most of the fandom Ive met are awful. Honestly, though lonesome I find more comfort keeping distant from fandoms because yall often extremely toxic and petty. Perhaps others have had better experiences than I however Im drawing a line in the sand. For MY sake. I’m annoyed with virtually anyone I sense great potential in that becomes wasted. Im angry at Viv because she can do so much better but is blocking HERSELF. This is from a creative and business mindset. When someone has potential that gets wasted - especially creatively - it burns me. Im just passionate on artistic fields. It doesnt mean I hate them. I hate the waste of full potential.
I’ll state things here people disagree with but encouraging harassment, hate or just being an overall cunt just aint on- It’s like people charade as being this fair being but its all bullshit. Self improve and sod off, I do NOT have time to parent you online.
And obviously there are RL duties I must fulfil. Some in which I will need the publics assistance for if you can spare it. Overall, Im just... Fandoms behaviour generally disgusts me. Disappoints me. We SHOULD be better than this. It’s like listening to bloomin incels rant on fuckin chad or some bullshit pill theory instead of looking to improve themselves too. Honestly... I do mostly acknowledge my own flaws and faults and try to improve each day. It just feels fewer folk see that in themselves and do the same. And that’s coming from an old cunt whos far from fuckin perfect. Also, my fuckin laptop broke so I waited a week for a bloke nearby to fix it. What a fuckin lifesaver, he’s the real mvp!
Also Also, one of you did privately apologise and I appreciate that. I certainly hope we agree to disagree and continue to grow as people on our separate ways. Trust me, I dont forget small acts like this. Even the trauma that caused and the aftermath, please dont think I dont appreciate the apology. However you’re also entitled to know that the forgiveness and healing side may take longer for me due to various factors that occurred - much that few are aware of, including yourself especially. I wish you well and safety.
Hip Happenin Now:
Still busy but slowly visiting. I’ll reply and reblog soon, be patient please. Ive still many things to sort which take priority as well as other things. Im trying to get money n shit for a future and whatnot. Health issues are strong in the blood rn and Im spending extended time with both Big and the other pets to keep up harmony, especially now that Big is accepting slowly that our porch is a welcome shelter for him and he’s free to leave and stay whenever. Trust me, overloaded isnt even the word. Im prepping shit early this year and from now on. Also, my God Ive been dealing with more physical issues as well and had to play doctor. May even need medical interference but holy shit I could never see this coming. Still... It’s... An experience- If you could call it that. Staying more active and healthy. Cat’s nearly clawed my eye out in my sleep (to which I can only presume Billy got too close or hyper) but it’s fortunate placement so Im alright. Most of my body is in pain to the point of absolute normality at this rate. And I plan to make space for a better altar. Future of the Blog:
Errr, it’s my fuckin space so it’s whatever I want really. Ill still have my Viv rants (ie, pros and cons of her work, HH/HB, other shit like that) however I just really dislike most the fandom at this point as well as the poor management and lack of professionalism and attitudes of staff. It’s just draggin me down and making me ill. I also want to showcase more of MY work (from redesigns to projects to some dumb 2am shit), cosplays, fashion, hobbies, spiritual practises - MY. SHIT. I feel like Ive strayed slightly. But I WILL be honest. And damn well will it upset people. And if it does and I’m genuinely ding something wrong/harmful - guide me patiently. Educate me. If it’s like this HD shit where Im not only allowed my opinions but justified on my traumas or mocking my disabilities or features, then just yeet yourself elsewhere. Also some of my gaming shit too. Getting to know folk who interact with my stuff and just... Create my space. For me. Something hopefully others can enjoy. Something that can function as a bit of an art portfolio as well. Critiques and whatnot. But I will continually not stand for anyone’s shit or poor handling of serious matters. You will not cause me to doubt and invalidate my experiences like you have to others. For now, Im tottering but slowly returning. For those who I previously and daily interacted with, I will get back to you. And Im sure you’re patient and understanding of my situation - it’s appreciated. But in terms of any fandom, more so if it’s known to be as hostile, I’d rather keep a healthy boundary between us. That’s for newer folk. Perhaps we may bond further and you’re welcome to try, however I do feel far safer not getting involved into other people’s shit any longer. I will put anon back on but any toxic shit will be reported as well as compiled so at least I have a reference on the actual toxic nature of fandoms. Likewise, Im slowly getting there but god theres a lot of fuckin work. So much that not even my closest friend has heard too much from me until recently. I’ll be returning to the grind for now as I have duties, as well as many demanding felines for my attention. Alongside some physical medical concerns which require additional care, I’ll be popping off now. Im thankful for those who have checked in on me. I will reply shortly. Take care
#im fucking tired#ive hardly had any alcohol lately as well#ive snuck some though but not as much for unwind time sadly#also discovered sourz alcohol and it is wonderful#i made someone laugh until literal pissing themselves though so#im taking bloody pride in that comedy so
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positivity for himiko who just broke up from a happy relationship
ur positivity is under the cut himiko
himiko, i want to start off by saying that im really sorry that a relationship that was going so well for u ended up not working out and that it had to end. while ive never exactly been in a relationship before, ive heard that situations like this can be pretty hard, and i want u to know that u have my support. that being said, not all relationships are meant to last forever, and i know that no matter how great ur relationship was, ull be able to get through this and come out stronger than ever before. things didnt end well, and im really sorry about that, but i know that if u just give it some time and find ways to express how u feel, things are going to get better and ull be in a better place than ur in right now
in the beginning, it might be a bit hard to deal with the fact that uve just gotten out of a relationship, and i know that u probably arent in the best of places right now. it might be hard to keep urself from thinking about it, but working towards getting it out of ur mind could help u move on from the relationship and hope for an even better one in the future. even doing something small, like spending a bit more of ur time focusing on daily tasks such as studying, could help u get ur mind off of ur relationship and help u focus ur energy towards something more positive. no matter what u do, spending ur time thinking about what could have been is really draining and somewhat unhealthy, so try to instead set ur mind to focusing on more positive things and maybe even meeting new friends
despite the fact that it can really help u feel better to try and get ur mind away from the breakup for a little while, though, there are still going to be times where ull feel upset, and i want u to know that thats okay and perfectly normal. it can be really hard to get over something like that, even if the relationship wasnt happy like urs was. if u need to vent about everything thats happened to u in some way, then ur perfectly able to do so! simply making a doodle or writing a bit about ur feelings can help get them off of ur chest and help u move past them, and listening to music is a good way to express ur emotions and deal with any of the sadness u might be feeling. no matter what, letting out ur emotions is good, and while u should definitely try to keep urself busy, dont completely bottle up ur emotions either
now, since u mentioned wanting any happy thoughts i thought it would be a good idea to try and give u some things u can look up or think about whenever u start feeling sad and want something to help u feel better. for instance, when im not in a good mood i always enjoy spending time with my dogs, and if animals make u feel better and u have some then u should go spend time with them! theyre great friends when u need them to be. if not, though, then looking up cute pictures and videos could help do the trick a bit. music can be pretty calming, since it influences how we feel, so listening to something that helps u with ur mood could also be beneficial. for instance, if i want to calm down i enjoy listening to classical, and if i want to try and pep myself up i listen to faster paced music; but whatever makes u feel better is good! talking to friends never hurts, and itll help u feel better to know that there are people supporting u. last but not least, thinking of places that make u feel relaxed can help u feel better, along with looking up nature scenes. if u meditate, that might also help u a bit
im really sorry that things have gone so poorly for u lately, himiko, but i want u to know that the pain ur going through definitely wont last forever. i know that it can really feel that way sometimes, but im sure that things will get better for u, even if it takes a bit of time. happy relationships are hard to get over, but the important thing to remember is that this isnt the only happy relationship ull ever be in, and that one day ull find someone that turns out being even better for u. until then, though, please remember that people care about u and that ur a very valuable person. u might not know it, but so many people depend on u and need u here. no matter what happens, please remember how important u are
please stay safe himiko, and remember that im always here if u want someone to talk to
- mod kaede
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I’m Sorry..
Tonight’s post is really out of the ordinary with the days and the times I post but do you ever just start cleaning, listen to pandora and just emotion hits you? The past few days ive really been down and depressed about my life with HD. I’ve really been to myself, not really wanting to be around anyone, talk to anyone, just wanted to be alone to cry. Anyways, as i was cleaning, the emotion of feeling sorry just hit me. When i say the emotion of sorry, i am talking about me feeling sorry about many things. Things ive done, feeling sorry for others, feeling sorry for myself..just feeling sorry.. so here goes my rant. 1. I am sorry for the person i have become. I am very proud of myself and my accomplishments and understanding that i need to do things for me and only me. i am sorry that HD has made me selfish when it comes to caring about others at time and putting other things off to focus on me. For a long time, i wanted to make everyone happy. i wanted everyone to like me and if i felt unliked/unwanted i would do anything in my power to turn that around. At this point in my life, i realized regardless what you do, good or bad, not everyone is going to like you. I have become a person that is a lot stronger. I hold myself on a high pedestal and will not settle for anything less than what i know im worth. I’ve pushed my depression from my life before HD away and with this news, over a year ago even though it repeats in my head daily, my depression is back. i may seem like this super busy mom who loves every single day of her life and portrays as everything is okay! and having HD doesnt bother me at all because of how much i love to advocate but i hate this. i hate it all. back to some earlier blog, i hate the HD has become my life. i hate that i have a terminal disease. i hate that i may not want more kids. i hate that i put my child at risk. i hate that my boyfriend feels as if he cant talk to me because he may not know how i will react. i hate that my boyfriend will probably not be able to live the life he dreamed about with me because of HD. I hate my best friend is scared to bring HD up. I hate that this is an elephant that is always in the room. but, I am happy HD has turned me into the person it has. HD has taught me to live my life to the fullest. to always have hope and never regret. HD has taught me to have a passion and love for something that will literally kill me. HD has brought me into an amazing community with amazing people that i may have only met once or twice but the love we share for each other is undeniable. HD has changed me into a person that i never thought i’d be. I never thought my mom and i’d have a relationship like we do. my siblings and i also. HD has taught me to put little things to the side and just love. love my family because we do not know how much time we have with them. i love my family more than words and i want them to know that. 2. im sorry for becoming selfish. this goes off of my first sorry but i really am proud of becoming a person who still loves hard and cares deeply, but i know that the choices i make in my life will be my choices. I will come to a point in my life where HD is going to take over. Honestly, i’m scared as hell for that day. everyday i pray that my results were wrong and im going to get a call saying the lab messed up. everyday i wonder if this is the day HD is going to hit me. this is a constant worry i face. im sorry that i have become selfish when it comes to me caring for myself and not worrying as much about other people and their opinions. 3. im sorry for the people that i have pushed away/left in my past. in my life right now, i have honestly, 3 individuals besides my family that i talk to either daily or weekly. this isnt a one person thing either. this is just checking in with each other, noticing when one is upset or is sad, this is just sending memes because it made you think of the other person. again, back to the first im sorry, this goes along with it. I have alot of people i consider friends but i realized why do things for friends who arent there to support you or check on you, or when you tell them that your mom was diagnosed with HD or when you got those results dont even check to see how youre feeling, or not seeing how your daughter is that everyone obsesses over? not blaming everyone because its two ways but after a point when youre the only one, you give up. I’m sorry if this hits as if you are one of the people i left behind. nothing personal. just after finding out about HD, i really only want to surround myself with positive vibes and happiness. 4. im sorry for the ones who dont know how to talk to me or approach me since the HD. I know this is hard for you and im sorry. i want to let you know,i understand talking about HD is hard, believe me. writing this blog takes more out of me than youd think. i want to let you know, i want to talk about it. i want to answer questions you may have about it. if im having a bad day, i want to talk about it. i dont mention things sometimes to you guys because i dont want to put this all on you. 5. im sorry that my mom feels as if she did this. my mom, while i was growing up, made some shitty decisions but as parents we do that. my mom was a single mom who has a masters degree, worked her ass off as a teacher to support us and get us whatever we wanted. i want my mom to know, although i hate HD and wish this was something that neither of us had to deal with, i never have blamed you. Mom, you changed and touched so many lives while you were a teacher. you lived for your job and students and i want you to know that you did make a difference. mom, i want you to know that i’m sorry you have ever thought i hated you or did not love you. never once have i ever stopped loving you. you have given me the gift of life and i am forever thankful. This blog is just something i needed to write and get things off my chest. this was something i felt i needed to say and express because i feel as if people do not truly understand me and instead of asking, assume. I have become a truly amazing person and i’m so proud of myself. this is something that i never thought i’d ever say about myself. Although i hate HD and everything about it... HD has turned me into the person i am today.
#HD CureHD wtfisHD bestfriends love support blogger thankyou backbones huntingtonsdisease#imsorry#sorry
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anon post
for all 3 of my fans
i live for ur wit and sass
thx n same
Dont fuck with the best! Kate works hard to get the craziest anons to post in her yard, and I've got nothing but respect. There's no fan in the fandom as genuine and earnest as she is. Wishing her and her cats a long and healthy life!
lmao yall need to quit
you've probably answered this already but what do you think will give vm the best shot at the OG?
a good short dance + a good free dance + gui missing the catch-foot on his twizzle again
Are you taking the bar exam this summer?
no i just finished my first yr
I will cry if T&S end up together, They would be a horrible match. Surely I'm not the only one who sees this??
i am ashamed that this is the level of trollin i get. step up ur game!!
"i hope tessa marries semple so i can see all the shippers cry tbh" Poor Alex! Marrying him would probably restore his self confidence and prompt a return to the cfl! Still holding out hope!
honestly alex was the hottest of all her bfs. fedor is balding, has a dad bod n is wearing khakis on the beach now. and semple was always fug. also rl talk i didnt know canada had its own football league until this guy came around. thats so cute for canada
"i hope tessa marries semple so i can see all the shippers cry tbh" I want her with the Bitove guy. His family looks like the type that will post tons about them on sm afterward.
lmao yall know his grandfather started the toronto raptors?? i knew this brodie’s last name sounded familiar. also apparenty he and his fam golf at trump’s resort @ mar-a-lago VOM. tessa is 500% going to end up with a smarmy, filthy rich trust fund kid like him like its not even a question
Hey now. I want shippers to get overthemselves, too, but Tessa marrying Semple, god no. Basically, Tessa, open your eyes and save yourself.
lol i actually wish she was still dating him so all this mindless speculation rn would stop
Bitter and hateful is what I come here for. Anons should just fuck off and go to the Disney website if that's what they want.
vm fans are so damn soft n sensitive about everything lol, i rly wish some of yall would stop taking everything i say so seriously
Please come back, without your snark the fandom is controlled by the most delusional shippers.
i’ll post more when there r actually things 2 talk about. being around here when nothing is happening and ur all screaming into a vacuum about the same things over and over is like being institutionalized in a loony bin
why are you always up so late?
nhf for this east coast bias, it is a perfectly reasonable time in california
Which of the current/rising juniors do you see making tbe most impact next quad?
carreira/ponomarenko are going to win a olympic medal in 2022. even if the shibs, h/d and bock don’t retire, i see them easily rising through the pack - they just have the Look and aren’t without talent. i’m iffy on the rest - mcnamara/carpenter are too creepy and weird, parsons have no height difference and are siblings, both are coached by an unproven staff, everyone else are varying levels of mediocre. hawayek/baker will go to worlds 2018 if they’re lucky and prob never again if no one else retires.
i wouldn't take h/d's music choices as an indicator of what vm will have. they are the c team and vm are the a team in that camp. look at last season... h/d got stuck with marie-france's lame ass idea of the evolution of music and vm got prince.
true..... altho i think personal taste is important too. tessa would die b4 she ever approved an ‘evolution of dance’ sd
I want Tessa to steal Fedor back from Meryl. All that drama would be hilarious. Fedor lost his looks and is butt ugly now so he is exactly Tessa's type, even more so than in 2009.
i nvr thought he was that cute but he literally looks like he goes door to door selling pool cleaner now
I noticed that when Tessa shakes hands or kisses someone on the cheek (like during medal ceremony or interviews) Scott often puts a hand on her lower back even though there had not been any physical contact between the two of them before said handshake or kiss. It just always surprises me and I'm not sure I understand why he'd do this. What's your take on it ?
lmao ik u want me 2 say its bc his subconscious is screaming out in jealousy and he wants to covertly claim her and show the world she still belongs to him but i rly think they r just touchy ppl who like to touch. or hes makin sure she doesnt lose balance and fall off the podium as she’s leanin over
moulin rouge would've been a much cooler choice in 11/12 for their musical fd instead of funny face, but i don't see them doing it for their olympic fd. it's a bit tacky and overdone. i figure they'd want to do something that's a little bit more special and unique then that.
ia it wouldnt have been a bad filler fd for an off year. i just dont see it doing it for their Last Ever and for the olympics. its such a warhorse - what could they possibly say with it thats original? and its such a character piece - they r such overly emo, earnest ppl, i dont think they’d want to do something that different from themselves for their Last Ever.
huh what, vm don't stand a chance against moonlight sonata?? Pls... that would be a flop, such an overused piece of music everywhere, it's like Für Elise - hearing the first notes of it makes me vomit in my mouth a little
ya bc no one’s ever won a gold medal skating to a warhorse before
it sounds more believable to me than vm and moulin rouge tho
What interpretation? PC will just float around. They can do that in any key and judges will eat it up.
true, gui gui is a demon
No way. The judges will think they're watching Gordeeva/Grinkov again and just hand the gold to them immediately.
remember when pc said they didnt even know who torvill and dean and g/g were lmao
If scott doesn't cut his disgusting gutter frat boy hair I'm renouncing my Canadian citizenship and moving 2 Peru
was legit lookin @ pics from autumn classic n skate canada and i cant believe how short his hair was then, i can not believe i was complainin so much. i am honestly such a whiny bitch lmao this is my punishment
i have mixed feelings because Prince is the best short dance of VM's career so far but then Latch was one of the worst lol. It dragged in a lot of areas, especially the middle, and it never felt complete. I don't hate it by any means but considering we only had 2 free dances left and that was one of them... :| so I'm torn between trusting MF, and then thinking she's one misguided song choice away from ruining VM's swan song.
the thought of mf picking out the music for vm’s last ever fd makes me kind of sad. like yall have no ideas? at all?? ur relying on instagram suggestions and mf’s adult lite fm spotify playlists for inspiration? im surprised n disappointed tbh, like they arent kids anymore, i thought they would take more ownership of their careers.
but idk we’ll see. whenever i complain a lot, i usually like their material later lol
why do i feel like vm are gonna come out in their sd with despacito... the justin bieber version...
ok who is this person who keeps sending me despacito questions?? you sound like you want it to happen more than anyone else and are trying to will it into existence
It's funny because Tessa is SO cautious about everything she/they say, that she comes off/is rehearsed--I don't understand why she cares so much. They are not politicians or even super famous. Plus most people who watch (excluding Tumblr fans bc they're all extra) watch during high times like Worlds and Olympics. Most people don't watch interviews and press conferences. If they do watch one, it's usually only the fun "game" interviews or the mainstream ones like etalk which they are not tons of
idk what this is in reference to but ok lol. it prob matters to her bc its her life and she cares bc its happening to her? just spitballin here
Oh no what has Max Trankov said I'm scared to know now. If he's a Trump fan I might have to #nopeout lol he’s russian and a male chauvinist pig. he once said he wouldnt do a quad with tati until she had a baby for him...”and then maybe we try”
still gonna stan his trash ass to the end of time tho
Speaking of bad music cuts I could not stand the way HD's music was cut this year. Like I like all the songs they used individually but it just felt so weirdly put together like the songs didn't flow well into the next. The only part I liked was the last part with earned it.
really? i thought earned it was the part that seemed completely out of step with the first 2 pieces of music. the transition was way off and the tempo was so much faster than the other 2
The Facebook q&a is the first time I felt vm are actually compatible enough to be a couple.
should’ve published this steaming hot take when u sent it a month ago bc i have no idea what this is in reference to now
what do you look like?
tired mostly
haha funny how we went from vm are in a relationship to they hate each other.
dont ‘we’ me bitch i have nothing to do with this fandom’s daily emotional yo-yo-ing
Can you explain the Tessa/Kaitlyn Weaver friendship? Are they really friends? Kaitlyn seems like the kind of girl Tessa would make fun of behind her back.
more like kaitlyn weaver is tracy flick and is trying to bring down everyone in her path tbh
I get a bit of a superiority, cold vibe with Tessa, don't you?
no but i dont have self esteem issues
I think people who find Tessa cold and snobby do not get her at all. Yes, she is far from perfect and her feminism is all (...) but to call her cold and unfeeling means you haven't been paying attention at all. Like get off her dick and/or stop following her career.
i dont think shes cold either. standoffish maybe, but i dont feel like thats from superiority or aloofness. some ppl just want to mind their own business and chill?? not everyone’s a chatty cathy like scott
Music stresses me out. The only thing I've gathered from all of the various discussions is they should be exciting but not too exciting because it's an Olympic season. But they shouldn't also be too safe. Like I know you have mentioned various choices that would be good but what would be in your mind the ideal program, both SD and FD. It's their third Olympics, so how do they build on the past while still being fresh but also them. Or do they just not and give the audience what they want?
something original thats not a warhorse but is also audience friendly and is instantly musically palatable to a lot of ppl
so basically mahler
Which songs from moulin rouge should they use?
if they were doing mr (which i doubt), the orchestral score is 500x better than the cheesy ass nonsense from the soundtrack. like come what may with nicole kidman’s tremulous bird vocals and ewan mcgregor literally straining not to pop a vein would almost be too dramatic and Too Much. i think that kind of thing only works for a v specific kitschy, performative kind of team (a la russians) and wouldnt vibe with vm’s super earnest approach at all. but the orchestral score is genuinely moving and effective in a less garish way
but i dont think they’re doing moulin rouge lol
"the movies honestly made it hard 4 me to interpret hermione’s undying loyalty and devotion to harry as anything other than latent sexual attraction tbh lmao" Hahaha, pretty much. Plus, the whole Harry and Ginny thing, even more so in the movies, seemed to come out of nowhere and was cliche as fuck.
is bonnie wright still acting? i’ve seen dead fish more alive than her on screen
LMAO someone posted a clip from VM's show when they were having dinner with WP and they were talking about how WP live together and they ask VM how they deal with one another and LOL I stg I started loling cause their reactions were #priceless. S literally just had a WTF look on his face while he said something hella awkward & T looked like she wanted to slap him. Her follow up that she doesn't think they could ever spend all their time together just cements why they'll never date for me.
lmao that whole scene is so stupid. kaitlyn n andrew r such good friends i swear
Thanks for setting that anon straight. Set some boundaries so that they don't egg on shippers?? WTF. They're fine with doing what they're doing, and if they're dating others, those others are obviously fine with it too. Besides, it's not like they're filming porn or something. If you can't handle it, stop watching them.
idek what these r in reference to anymore but it sounds dumb as hell lmao
Wow I cannot believe that people actually think VM owe fans any explanation for their relationship/partnership. Like we don't know them, we're never going to know them or be friends with them? Why the fuck do they owe fans a detailed explanation of their personal business? I stg these shippers have lost their damn minds. As long as VM continue to put out good programs and do well I couldn't care less what they're doing off ice. Whatever it is it's clearly working for them. You do you VM.
the entitlement of some fans is insane. its STILL happening now with tessa’s ig now too. why dont yall just let her live n let her white-girl post to her hearts content. she is literally doing nothing differently to what every other skater does, idg this absurd criticism
Fr tho both of them have such nice teeth and I've never seen pics of them with braces, like how??!?!
tessa’s r so nice i cant believe she’s never had braces. and they r such a natural white? like u can tell w most skaters that they get it professionally whitened but hers dont have that artificial look at all
Are you in college? Your bio says 23 but it said that last year too.
i actually turned 24 a while ago im just 2 lazy to change it. im in law school currently
I just read an ancient interview with vm where they said Mahler was about getting married or something... WHAT
ya i cant remember if it was them that said or marina that said it tho. i remember a story about a guy who wrote them saying he and his gf were watching mahler at the olympics and once it was over, he was so moved he got down on one knee and proposed to her and marina was like ‘thats what that program is meant to do’ lol
Do you think Zach is a good skater and partner? I keep changing my mind on him.....
he is such a bland, wet noodle - no taste, no flavor, just empty white carbs. its up to madi to add any spark to the team bc she’s the real star, he just stands there and is tall and can lift her
Why the fuck are so many people freaking out because Tessa did not attend a wedding with Scott. 1. They are not dating so there are no reason for Scott to bring her. 2. She has people visiting 3. I bet they don't even hang out off ice 4. I think Scott has a secret girl in Ilderton. 5. TS not dating. I wish people would claim down.
this is so far back in my inbox i have no idea whats happening
I love it that whenever Tessa posts an IG story the fandom goes crazy analyzing and speculating about Scott what there even when he is clearly not Then there there are talks about TS wedding. WTF Soon it will be TS having babies. I am wondering if maybe the fandom (new fans) are mixing reality with those fanfics.
honestly no clue
I know this has been discussed before but I don't get how Scott and Jess even communicated. Jess could barely seem to understand English back then and Scott couldn't speak French. I wonder if them not being able to speak to each other is part of why they lasted so long actually
lol bryce davison actually learned french so he could communicate w/ her. not scott tho lol
I don't think T cares too much about fs friendships the way other skaters do. Of course she's friendly with a lot of them but she's not really close with anyone except her partner, which doesn't really count lol. She has her own friend group outside of skating and that's what she seems to stick to. It's funny you mention Meryl, Brooke, Tanith, and Lauren because they're all still really good friends.
honestly i think skating stressed (stresses?) her out so much back then that she really hated being in that world for too long. i dont blame her for wanting to disconnect and not having to hang out with skaters who just talk about other skaters and skating 24/7
I don't mean this in a mean way. Watching Avatar. If you paint Meryl's face blue she could be in the movie
it kills me when ppl say she looks like a disney princess? ya the ant queen from a bugs life maybe
I think Tessa sometimes forget that Scott is a huge part of why they are successful and she wouldn't have all of these deals w amazing brands if they weren't so strong+didn't win everything. it's easy to put her on the pedestal bc she's gorg and can dance, but he should get/deserves just as much credit-- i mean he is the one lifting her and she could not do any of this by herself. sometimes i get the vibe that she thinks she's too good for him. maybe he's not as fancy, but he has a heart of gold
i’ve literally never gotten that she thinks she’s too good for him...? they go out of their way to pay each other compliments all the time and dont even jokingly diss on each other. its actually kind of weird that after knowing each other so long their relationship isnt just one long roast section where they talk shit about each other bc thats what my relationship w/ all my lifelong friends r like....but then again im a flinty bitch and they’re super earnest and emo like all the time. like i bet they both cry during sex
i find it kinda gross, disturbing and a bit pathetic that so many people feel the need to write erotic fan fiction about Tessa and Scott--like they are real people not characters, and it's kinda creepy that people spend so much time writing and reading them. Also, i would pay a million dollars to have someone show TS what people write about them--they would literally die and so would i--some fans are kinda extreme crazy
u know how on graham norton when he’s always showing celebs really erotic fanfic and fanart of themselves and they’re just dying of embarrassment?? i would literally pay everything in my bank account (so like....twenty dollars) for someone to do that to vm
omg it's gonna be so awk when tessa and scott have to see klawes...poor klawes, she just could not hold a candle to tessa. still don't know why klawes still follows tessa's insta--like i would unfollow and would not wanna see some of the pics t posts of TS giving each other lovey looks/touchy regardless of whether ts are together or not. also, it's never like t and klawes would actually be friends bc they're polar opposites
v disappointed that the olympic summit did not deliver on this #drama
tessa and kl were real friends tho, i think its sweet. and its nice they still keep in touch even tho scott is a dog
Are you a fan of tessa's style? She wears so much expensive yet ugly shit in my opinion.
lmao no. i think some of her casual wear is cute, but she wears some of the most hideous high fashion shit ever when she’s going out. like that blue carpet jumpsuit? yall know wht im talking about. those hideous trousers??? also she wears an unbelievable amount of boring black dresses
also gf needs to do smth with her hair. tired of her high bun and slick pony. she looks way cuter w/ her hair down imo
Do you think Tessa pays for all the Adidas stuff she wears?
no she def gets it for free. i was a walk-on my freshman yr of college for half a second and even i got a bunch of free shit from nike
How do u as an ed sheeran unstanner feel about ts doing these songs their obviously using him for the sd next season and i wouldnt be suprised if they use him for the fd as well
reading this made my cholesterol go up
really hope they're exhausting all the ed sheeran options now so they won't actually use it for comps lol
ngl i do kind of dig that embarrassing white boy rapping galway girl song but that cld prob just be my girl saorise ronan hypnotizing me like she always does
Minus the horrific man bun, do you think Scott's hot? Also, do you think Tessa finds him attractive?
no and probably yes now that hes so fug
Do you think Scott's attractive?? Also, do you think Tessa being told she's beautiful constantly on sm has made her get a big head--she often comes across as a bit cold and stuck up prancing around in her $1000 + outfits? Love her and she's gorgeous but...
some of yall need to stop projecting your shit onto tessa for real
Power plays of the figure skating journalists. Inside Skating does a very literal interview and article with P/C which blows up and then they go to Jackie Wong so he can basically write up a damage control press release. Kind of fascinating to see both journalists doing their thing with the same content. Hard to believe Inside Skating didn't think their article would create a storm. Interesting.
speaking of jackie, skaters r really going to him for their exclusives now huh? dying that ashley gave him her big la la land fluff piece instead of tsl. pays 2 be nice and kiss ass
Doesn't look like KH/JLB will have much of a chance to advance cuzis so crowded with the current seniors not retiring and juniors moving up. KH/JLB needs to work on their twizzles, thier lines, skating skills, chemistry looks promising. Some of those junior and senior teams should consider representingif they want a chance at aCanada doesn't have any promising teams once VM-WP retire. I feel like CB, SS, HD ain't retiring till they win Wch or OG which may never with PC around.
hawayek/baker could prob skate for gb because jean-luc has citizenship and carreira/ponomarenko could prob skate for canada bc she’s from montreal but i doubt the us fed is letting either of them go. they’ve invested way too much at this point. i don’t think c/p need to move tho, i think they’re talented to rise organically through the ranks. i think they’re more likely to be us #1 instead of not tbh
I don't understand the whole David and Tessa affair; like some people say it happened after he was separated and others talk like it was a full blown affair. The only thing I do know is that her being called a "homewrecker" or anything else of that nature makes me want to punch something because it's disgusting, and it's society go-to response. Be cruel to the woman and basically give the man a free pass. But maybe he received shit, too? I just never heard about it.
i think he was basically separated but not divorced when it happened
Do you think if TS and Cappelini and Lanotte switched partners they would be a good team?
lol no. anna’s not a great skater and luca looks like he’s shorter than tessa
Wait is that Tessa's ex Semple in that photo you posted of her pre and post nose job? Cause if so damn does she lowball herself. Like she could have such better looking guys I do not understand. Girl is very pretty she needs someone to help her pick better guys.
~we accept the love we think we deserve~~
I think T is cringeworthy as a speaker bc she's sooo gd rehearsed. Not a things she says comes across like she didn't practice it in the bathroom mirror 75 times that morning. She would be pretty good if she could lose even half the pretension in her delivery and tossed out the eye rolly words she keeps littering the sentences with like privilege and journey.
they honestly both suck. she’s worse than he is, but they’re both super stiff. and they always do this forced banter bit at the start which just seems so awkward lol
That one anon pointing that some have denied the nose surgery - this is exactly what annoys me about those shipper blogs, not that they are shippers (you can want them two to be together- that by itself doesn't bother me), but their ways and how they always have to insist on vm's perfect image - they all get so upset and aggressive when you point some issue out, like why would you deny Tessa has done a nose job... so out of touch! vm are interesting exactly cause they're real people with flaws
i can not believe ppl r denying her nose job. like yo its right there. it does lend credence to my theory that all shipprs r just hallucinating n seeing things that arent there tho
If Tessa and Scott did hook up while officially with SOs I have a feeling they wouldn't consider it cheating.
ok lmao??? im sure something extremely profound i said provoked this
how rich do u think scott and tessa are???
prob millionaires by the time 2018 comes around if they get their sponsorships
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i might do part 2 later if i can be bothered... but nothing really makes sense out of context lol, its like watching charlie kaufman do slam poetry
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Are you mad that the one girl posted those audios? Cause now I think she started shit and I'm very annoyed with her. She REALLY IS everywhere. That anon has every right to be mad at her because she's jeopardizing our game. She's not even a long time fan. I went through her blog and I think she used to be an aesthetics blog or something. I don't know who the first anon was, but I kind of agree with him or her. She should at least apologize, but she hasn't...
Ok, sorry for taking time to answer you. Fridays are always busy days for me.
This probably become a little long so I'll put it under the cut.
Sorry in advance, as everyone knows (or can see) english isnt my native language.
First I'll reply directly to your question. And my answer is "no".
Why I should be mad with her? I cant find a reason, really. The thing is you shouldn't either, but it's okay because you're in your right to do it if you want (just like the rude anon). We are free people. All of us. But the way you express yourself makes the difference. First anon was rude and violent but, even if I think that you're wrong with this, you arent disrespecting anyone and that's why Im here, answering you.Not everyone can agree all the time, nor we can love the same things (thanks to Odin!)
Our freedom of opinion and expression allows us to be against something without any inconvenience... as long as your freedom doesn’t interfere with another person's freedom. Then, each of us have the right to post whatever we want: You, the rude anon, me, and also Fureiaa, of course.Social networks give us a wonderful tool that allow us to block things and people that annoy us. Unfortunately, we dont have that harmless option in real life, and if, for ex., we have a stupid co-worker most likely we have to endure it (or change our job). Use that option, just use it in whatever its bothers you and live happily. We have too many problems in our daily lives to bear hate and bad vibes in the fandom. Really.
If Fureiaa 'is everywhere' just block her, but even if you dont like it, she can post whatever she wants.Were too many Fureiaa's posts? maybe, who knows, the fact is that Im not the one to say anything about it because is something subjetive... just like what is 'quality content' and what isnt. What is definitely WRONG, is practically forcing someone to stop posting what they want on their blog just because we dont like it.
But is good to debate, and I like to do it, even if its about an issue that should already disappear...
You use the words 'our game' in your message. Yes, 'ours', that includes Fureiaa!'She's not even a long time fan' > Neither I!... I hope you've been kidding me! I play Slbp since november and I discovered the fandom in Tumblr in january or something like that. Does that make me better or worse than someone else here? Im sure not. We are equals. I really dont think it's relevant that Fureiaa did on her blog before playing slbp or tenka. Not at all.
I dont even understand why she should apologize... She didn't do anything more than post those audios and was violently treated as if she enjoyed kicking puppies or something like that...> Note: I dont know Fureiaa, I never talk to her, I dont follow her and I dont think she's follow me either. Its doesn matter because basically I thinks the same thing about everyone.Think about all this again, really
Anyway, if you want to say something else, here I am.
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All the even numbers!
thats a lot. and 72 was repeated twice but i had to renumber them since i copied and pasted adn forgot it was repeated. but anyway.
2. Are you outgoing or shy?
mostly shy i think but i can be outgoing if im comfortable.
4 Are you easy to get along with?
not really. i can be quite moody. and i unfortunately have a short temper (which im trying to work on) and im depressed adn suicidal so i think the answer is no.
6 What kind of people are you attracted to?
smart funny ones.
8Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
my friend the nerd because i was talking to them and my friend rabbit earlier.
10Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
probs my therapist since we talked just earlier today.
12What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
1.awkward by hailey knox
2 beautiful girl by sara barielles
3. plot twist by sigrid
4 waving through a window from dear evan hansen
and 5. dissapear also from dear evan hansen.
14Do you believe in luck and miracles?
yeah but my luck is shitty and miracles happen to other people. so basically yes but not for me lmao
16Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
yeah. if she were down. but like shes really straight. so i doubt she would be.
18Do you still talk to your first crush?
occasionally. hes a dick now tho. fraternity guy. and voted for trump.
20Do you like your neighbors?
well the ones i know are pretty cool.
22Where would you like to travel?
narnia. one of those planets they discovered that are super far away but similar to earth. but like on this planet? probs travel around europe.
24Favorite part of your daily routine?
going to bed.
26What do you do when you wake up?
lie there and try to go back to sleep.
28Who are you most comfortable around?
probs my friend rabbit.
30Do you ever want to get married?
one day yeah. but only if i find the right person u know.
32Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?
oohhhh ummm hmmm. chris pratt. aubrey plaza and john boyega. i feel like aubrey would bring a sarcastic element which would help with the pressure and nervousness and john and chris. well u can just see in their eyes that theyre really gentle people that will treat u right.
34do you play sports? What sports?
hahaha no. ive always wanted to dance and/or be on a swimteam. but my lungs hate me
36Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
i think ive only told like 1 or 2 people that ive liked that i liked them. and ive liked a lot of people so yes. i have hidden that i liked someone before. many many times.
38Describe your dream girl/guy?
theyre taller than me. i dunno why but ive always liked wavy/curly hair. not blonde. or brunette. so that leaves unnatural hair color or black or red. good bone structure. theyre really smart. like they know lots of stuff academically but theyre also just generally smart u know. and they know lots of lil random facts about random things. really nice. but not in like a sugar nice way but more like sun beams when it feels like theyre warming u from the inside kinda nice. kind eyes. color doesnt really matter since i keep changing my mind. strong. but not necessarily muscular. i want them to be able to pick me up and twirl me around but not like theyve got a sixpack or anything. sixpacks are kinda weird looking tbh. wed have to have most of the same values. not too talkative but not like ALWAYS quiet. theyd prefer staying in most weekend and watchng shows but dont mind the occassional night out. theyd like the beach. because what kind of crazy person doesnt like the beach (people that dont beach right thats who). theyd also like biking and hiking and swimming. very much an animal person. not lazy. good listener. intuitive. would understand that some days i just cant fucking stand physical touch. and others i crave it in a way ive never craved anything before. and other days its kinda meh whatever. people that take interest in what im interested in because im interested in it. and whose interests are cool. because i love to take interest in things my friends are interested in but sometimes its so boring. nothing particular comes to mind. but im sure its happened. someone who doesnt check up on me when im crying. because tbh i hate it when people do that. unless its through texting or a phone call. but like people in person asking “are u ok?” while im sobbing my eyes out? fuck no go away. someone who understands that im really fucking bad with words. and sometimes me trying to say something will take a while and it may not make sense. theyd be patient. they wouldnt mock me. or be manipulative. and i think this list is long enough.
40What do you want to do after high school?
travel the world and end up famous, but not like papparazzi following me famous. famous like i appear on snl every once in a while and drop bangers or rad filsm or whatever i do and thats all. what will i probs end up doing? crying a lot and going to community college. and applying to as many colleges as i have the energy to.
42If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?
it might mean im busy. or just listening. or really pissed off. or upset. or just have nothing to say.
44Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
space.
46What are you paranoid about?
everything
48Have you ever been drunk?
not yet. but sometimes i want to be
50What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
blue i think?
52 One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
everything. but like one specific thing? id like to get rid of my depression, fears, and this brain fog that haunts me
.54 Favourite store?
trader joes or target
56Favourite color?
yellow
58 Last thing you ate?
well rn im eating plain potato chips and mayo (please dont judge me. i know its disgusting)
60Ever won a competition? For what?
i used to do mma i won like one or two of those. i also run a riding competition once.
62Been arrested? For what?
not yet. but im sure one day i will be.
64tell us the story of your first kiss?
we were in her parents bathroom and were 7. thats all i remember. havent kissed anyone since. which isnt for lack of wanting to.
68Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?
i dont really have any tumblr friends that arent my real friends yet? so like i cant answer that.
70 Twitter or Tumblr?
well i spend all my time here and not on twitter so lets go with tumblr. altho i do have a twitter im never on
72Names of your best friends?
adi, heather, rabecca, joaquin, celestine.
74What colour are your towels?
blue, red and white. and theres some hawaiin print ones and a yellow one.
76How many pillows do you sleep with?
3...
78How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
like 40? dont judge. i kept asking as a kid and my parents kept giving them to me for christmas and my birthday. they should have stopped.
80What colour is your underwear?
rn its grey. but its not the only color i have
82Favourite ice cream flavor?
fuck. ummmmm coffee?
84What colour pants?
rn theyre black. but on the front of the thighs they have zebra striping.
86Favourite movie?
thats not an easy question to answer. im gonna say bringing up baby just because.
90Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?
both? i mean i prefer mean girls a lil more bu 21 jumpstreet isnt bad either
92 Favourite character from Finding Nemo?
dory. we are both scatterbrained.
94Last person you talked to today?
adi. but like in person? rabbit and the nerd.
96Name a person you love?
celestine. (not romantically)
98In a fight with someone?
not as far as i know. but i always kinda feel like im in a fight with monkey.
100How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
like 4? i know i know i dont have very many.
102Favourite actress?
aubrey plaza.
104Do you tan a lot?
nope. i try at least once every summer. but my skin either stays as pale as snow or i burn really bad then my skin shift to a slightly more offwhite shade of snow.
106. How are you feeling?
blergh. potato chips and mayo are really gross. and im tired and sick of people telling me shit.
108Do you regret anything from your past?
i regret everything ive ever done.
110Do you miss anyone from your past?
well there is this one guy i used to talk to but i miss the attention and not him so that doesnt count. i kinda miss a friend of mine named shannon from elementary school sunday school
112Ever broken someone’s heart?
i dont think so.
114What should you be doing?
school. but ive given up on that. so.
.116 Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
oh yeah. ive liked 2 peoplethat much. altho i barely knew the first person and it was more me projecting my ideals of the prefect person onto them.
118Who was the last person you cried in front of?
probs my therapist.
120Have you ever been out of your province/state?
yeah. i was just in virginia last week. i live in california so id say thats definitely out of state.
122Are you listening to music right now?
nope.
124Do you like Chinese food?
americanized or traditional? americanized: yessss that shit i shte bomb. traditional? i dont know ive never had it.
126Are you afraid of the dark?
yes. very. i need a light source or i start to panic.
.128 Is cheating ever okay?
like on a partner or on a test or something? on a partner? no way. u should never do that. like thatll really fuck them up and make them mistrustful for the rest of their life. on a test? if its necessary sure go for it. i dont care. im not ur teacher.
130Do you believe in love at first sight?
yeah. but its not something thatll ever happen to me lmao.
132. Are you currently bored?
im always bored.
134 Would you change your name?
last name? yes 100% absolutely. first name? maybe.
136Do you like subway?
like the sandwich shop? fuck no! the first time i ate it i threw up. the second time was ok. and thei third time i got serious stomach cramps afterwards. it was these awful sharp shooting pains all through my stomach.
138Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
probs my therapist.
140Can you count to one million?
theoretically? yes. but will i? no
142Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
closed! my closet freaks me out but the office across from my bedroom freaks me out more. and also like i dont want cats walking on my face. or to wake up at 7 am and find that my dog has taken up the very middle of the bed.
144Curly or Straight hair?
rn? mostly straight. but when it gets longer it kinda curls a lil.
146Summer or Winter?
yes. i like both. dont make me choose.
148 Favourite month?
july. thats when im born so it has to be my fav.
150Dark, milk or white chocolate?
milk
152Was today a good day?
no.
154What’s your favourite quote?
in the beginning the universe was created a lot of people regard t as a bad move. and i messed that quote up. but yeah.
156Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?
the terms braided and woven refer to the structure of the elastic.
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Hi, I’m hoping you could help me. It’s very long but I’m not sure how to shorten it up. I’m 27 and began being curious around 17~18 but only identified as bi about 23 after i graduated from University. I’ve never had a relationship, I barely have proper friends even. Nothing ever really lasts and everyone is always so busy so these days basically I only communicate online, even with family and people I know through school, work, offline community groups. I’m a strange person, do weird things, and apparently quite selfish and want to do things I like only. I get so bored and annoyed if I’m with people in person and I don’t truly enjoy our activities and prefer to be alone. Sometimes I do find those that share my interests, but then they have little time or are far away so we can’t meet up often either. Even though our interests sre shared, we like different parts (ie. both fans of a tv show but for different reasons or we ship different characters. or we both love music but different genre/artist.) or different degrees of like. (ie. we both love a tv series which was originally a game and they love the game more. While they love the tv series too they critisise some changes from original so dont invest in it as much. Or we are both a fan of the same artist but while they go to all the concerts and love every song, but i’ve only been to a few concerts but dislike some songs and havent heard them all. Therefore there is a disconnect in our friendship because can’t truly share things and is dissatisfying.) I only had two steady friends in high school, a male and female. I connected with the boy because my mom lived in his country when she was young for a few years and partially learned its culture and language so I’d learn more from him, and he was quite interested in learning my culture and language as well. However there was plenty things we disagreed on and didn’t get along otherwise. But he was a handsome boy I wanted to ask him out but felt the disconnect would be trouble, especially his family. Not sure why but we didn’t communicate after high school. I connected with the girl because we both play the same instrument and we sort of practied together sometimes and she taught me as she was more advanced. But she moved away and we could only talk online and now we rarely talk and I stopped playing the instrument for unrelated reasons. I had various other short lived ‘friends’ throughout my whole life we could chat about something here and there but otherwise it was disconnect due to reasons I’ve stated much earlier. There was only one person in my life who actually had pretty much an equal like in something-that is learning about myths. We shared many worldwide myths with each other and were interested in everything each other had to say. I met her when I was 20 and she was my classmate (I studied abroad). I came out to her as being curious just a month after we met although she says she’s straight. I sort of crushed on her, perhaps because it is so hard to find someone who really shared interests with me so much and I was so happy. I never talked more with anyone else, we would spend so much time together, both online and off. But when we graduated she immediately got a job and I moved back home. She doesn’t have time much more, we chat online occassionally and still talk about myths (has always been about 80% of our conversations) but I haven’t seen her in person since graduating. But those were the best years of my life, being together with my best friend. I think she is the reason why I really thought I liked girls too and she was very supportive when I was curious. Now I’m back to ‘friends’ who are there sometimes and can sometimes connect through some shared interests but otherwise it’s just disconnect and we don’t really get along. To be honest, I’m not sure if I’m lonely. I enjoy my interests and I’m happy when I can share things with someone even if a little bit. Im truly myself while alone and don’t have to compromise for someone else. But I’m getting older and my family keeps asking whether I’m going to settle down with anyone, in their minds 30 is the latest ideal age to marry so I have 3 years. Honestly it’s a silly deadline but I know they won’t force me. They are fine with me being bi although they don’t really inderstand, so that’s a great thing. I would love to settle down, whether it’s within this time or not. But my life experiences and personality seem to make it so hard to find and keep friends, much less a husband/wife. There’s only been one divorce in the history of my relatives due to a cheating partner otherwise it’s fully happy lifelong marriages. But with the way I connect with just friends, and nothing ever really lasts…how in the world am I going to find a lifelong partner that wont end in divorce because I don’t even have friends that really last. To be honest, I do have friends I first met 10+ years ago but we talk occassionally, usually only online and our topics are very narrow or just basic life updates otherwise it’s disconnect. True, these friendships do last but we arent very close at all so it’s not truly good friendship. 40% of such friends are those I met online and never in person-most being not in the same country even, 20% are those I met online but mostly seen in person as part of a organized group, the rest we met in person. I can’t be in this kind of not close but lasting relationship with a husband/wife, we need to be there daily and our lives would be intertwined. So, I’m not sure what to do or how to go about looking for someone. Or should I just continue living as I have, ignoring my family’s nag. Maybe I do better as my own single person? I would love to settle down but I do love being single too but sometimes wish I had friends who better match interests. Please advise me. Thank you very much.
Answer: Ok, here’s the thing, most people are selfish. Thomas Hobbes believes that human nature is actually very selfish. You aren’t the only selfish person, I’m extremely selfish. Yes, it’s much easier to be alone and not have to compromise, trust me, I’m terrified of committing and compromising. But I promise you that one day, you may meet a person and you won’t want to be selfish, you want to give to make them happy because their happiness makes you happy. Don’t expect that to happen right when you meet, it won’t happen until you give them a chance. So don’t worry about being selfish, everyone is.
You seem to be looking for someone who has the exact same interests as you in all areas. You’ll never find that, there’s no two people that are the same. Besides, that would get really boring when sharing a lifetime together. If you agree on everything, then what can you possibly talk about? You’ll never have make up sex either. The girl I’m with now and I have nothing in common. She loves chemistry, I barely passed chemistry. She likes big trucks, I like small fast cars. She enjoys stories that are full of emotion and detail while I prefer the stories that are very subtle. We don’t like the same books or movies. I think we only have one show in common. Seriously, we are complete opposites. But that’s what makes it fun. I don’t care that we have different interests, we are combining our interests. She reads my favorite books, I watch her favorite show. The person and their values matter, not what show they watch and what character they like. So no, we don’t have anything in common. But she’s brilliant, kind, and funny. She’s supportive and she truly wants to make me happy. And me, a very very selfish person who is terrified of commitment, I want to make her happy too. I want to watch her favorite show and I even want to hear about her day even though I don’t have a clue what she does at work. That’s what matters. The goodness you find in someone and the goodness they bring out in you. Yeah, you’ll argue and fight but then you’ll make up and have awesome make up sex. You’ll actually have something to talk about and debate if you are opposites. You need to balance each other out. You like to stay home. Find someone who is outgoing and likes to go out. Balance each other, you go out more, they go out less.
Find someone you can meet in the middle. It might not be anytime soon. It might take a few years. But if you are hoping to settle down and fall in love then you’ll need to step way out of your comfort zone. And don’t look for someone that’s exactly like you, look for someone to be everything you aren’t, the other half of you. Forget the three year timeline. It’ll happen when it’s meant to. Start with fixing you first.
Unless you really don’t want to get married then don’t change. It didn’t seem that way to me though. It sounded like you really want to meet someone, you’re just afraid of compromise, commitment and change. I get it, it’s extremely scary, but it’s really really worth it. By the way, this isn’t just about relationships. If you look outside your comfort zone and interests then you can make friends that will last longer. My friends and I have nothing in common except our values. We are loyal and kind people, that’s what matters.
- Nicole
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mannn.. life is just getting so much better!!! i just have to share where i'm at y'all bc ive been pretty excited about who i'm becoming bc i'm actively working on my spirit and who i am thru Christ.
first off - i'm fortunate for past, current and future *pain* bc it's brought me many blessings and will continue to bring me more.. just watch. it's just all about perspective and mines slowly but surely turning around! 💕 pain is a blessing bc without it we wouldn't know joy & we wouldn't be able to help others with similar problems!! i def struggle with my own share of health issues, a lot more at 31 than i ever wanted to have but i gotta be realistic about it: i treated my mind, body and spirit like a trash can off and on for the better part of a decade, i have trauma that i wouldn't dive into - like for real, for real - until 2 years ago or so bc i kept wanting to mask it. all that did was make it fester and then i projected it on others so what should i expect you know?? i used to complain constantly that 'life is not fair' and until very recently, i couldn't turn that around in my head and look at it positively .. like I AM ACTUALLY GLAD it's not bc if it was fair then i should have died yearssss ago.. one way or another esp if you look at it from a scientific standpoint. i may not know what my purpose is in life y'all but it's not my job to figure that out, it's my job to trust The Lord and His plan for me even if it doesn't always make sense to me. He is a God beyond my understanding and letting Him run the show makes life a lot better. we're not meant to have it easy but we weren't designed to make it so hard on ourselves or others either. He provides us the tools, it's just a matter of if we choose to use them or not. we all struggle so let's help each other out but the right thing is usually not the easy one so be proud of yourself when you make good decisions, no matter how small. the small things become big things; choices become habits -- that can be good or bad so make it a good thing 😘
one main problem i've always struggled with is consistency, esp when it comes to obeying The Lord. i am finally aware that my behavior does NOT affect Gods love for me bc He's an unconditional, loving God but my behavior dictates how much easier or harder life becomes for me.. and it's a daily thing y'all but it is for a lot of people, not just me. i just know that when i impulsively react to somebody or something, my
m o u t h is the first to go 😬😏SOOOO now im pretty good at waiting it out and if i think the same thing 2 mins later or so, you bet i'm gonna say it bc i'm blunt like that and i don't care to sugarcoat my thoughts BUT i also don't have to be hateful/disrespectful about it.. so that's been a turn around, for sure! 🙏 most people have a filter and i seem to lack one so i'm trying to develop one.. haha, it's funny but it's not at the same time.. actually it's been quite debilitating, really. my impulsivity and my mouth have burnt a lot of bridges in my life. not everybody or everything deserves a reaction and i don't need to waste my energy on things that arent my business -- and huge surprise here guys -- there is a LOT of stuff that is not my business so i take my nose out of it now 😜. i thrived off the drama and chaos for so long bc i didn't wanna look inward at myself and work on what was actually wrong -- which was me and my spirit. i am blessed for awareness and personal perspective.. it is everything.
ive been going back to AA and someone mentioned that theyve been praying for people that they have issues with, don't like or whatever the case may be and it's been helping them change their reaction/perspective towards that individual. at the end of the day, people are gonna do what they're gonna do but the way i choose to respond to it says everything about me, not them. that's why i love "The Four Agreements" book so much -- seriously life changing bc it's helped me realized that like i had so much displaced anger for so long and made it about everybody else and "what they did to me" , how "i'm not like everybody else", "why do they have a career / family / house and i don't?" WHATEVERRRR blah blah blah 😑 when at the end of the day, it had nothing to do with them. i was unhappy with myself, pissed that i got "cursed" with alcoholism and depression, sleep issues, etc. so instead of looking at it my difficulties as strengths and blessings, i had my own definition of what successful, happy people looked like or what they had and i was straight up mad and jealous of y'all. like how dare y'all have it so easy, right?! 🙄 omg hahaha how delusional is that!!! NOBODY has it easy!!! we all have something man and just because others may not see it doesn't mean it's not there!!!
"be kind.. for we are all fighting a battle others know nothing about." amen!!
my life has turned out to be nothinggggg of what i thought it was gonna be .. and i'm at a place of acceptance about it now and what a blessing it is to feel at peace more often than not. i think the real definition of serenity is when you stop wishing you had a different past and appreciate what God trusted you to go thru bc He knew Y O U could handle it 🥰
my alcoholism has about damn killed me but i'm resilient and ive been able to help others who battle my demon too; my depression has helped me understand deep sadness and how not running away or being scared of somebody bc of that can really change another persons life for the better.. one conversation can literally save somebody's life so don't underestimate what it means when someone disabled from depresssion reaches out to you bc you could be a life changer to them, i know this from experience. sleep issues suck but i've had a lot of deep, thought provoking conversations at 3a, ill tell ya that! but lately i sleep better bc i'm getting the garbage out of my soul and giving myself some grace. i'm blessed to not hold on to people who left me during my darkest hour bc they weren't meant to see me grow and to take part in my joy now.. it's all how you look at it!! i tried holding on to soooo many people for so long and now i just feel free of that negativity .. and i'm sure some people feel the same about me these last few years.. i was very toxic to some people so they were right to let me go as well. there's always two sides to everything y'all -- like be blessed for those who have let you down!! now you have room for people who are loyal and worth your damn time!! but as i just mentioned, i had to look in the mirror though and humble myself bc at one point or another, i was "that person" on more than one occasion that let somebody down and perspective on that is key to moving forward and not hurting somebody like that again. hurt people hurt people and i was the queen of that. when i get what i feel is a proper amount of time under my belt, i have so many amends to make that its quite.. sick, really. in the 5 years i've been in and out of AA, ive only been told to F off and/or burn in hell twice after trying to make an amends so that's better than i deserve lol most have been receptive of my amends but this will be the second round for some of those same people and i don't expect the same forgiveness i got the first time bc i don't deserve it. i'll also be frank with you .. some people i don't want to make amends to bc i don't feel they deserve it so clearly i still have work to do on my heart and hopefully thru the program and in time, i will feel differently but right now that's honestly how i feel.
to sum it all up, here are some things that help me:
-if you have to hide it, don't do it. -chaos always proceeds change.
-people will treat you with as much respect as you show yourself (thank you Lord for helping me with this one!!)
-validation may come from other people but that's just temporary. if you ain't happy in YOUR heart, with who YOU are.. check your morals and standards my dear! it doesn't matter if the entire world thinks you're great -- you need to KNOW & BELIEVE you are and that begins with the belief system you set for yourself!
- the saying "one foot in front of the other" goes a long way.. act blessed and you'll become blessed; no matter how stupid it sounds in your head, talk kindly to yourself until you believe it -- affirmations work, i swear!!! most importantly, show others grace so you'll eventually show yourself some 💕
i am a sinner but i am not my mistakes. my alcoholic demon is strong but God is stronger.. and thru Him, so am i. without my community from TN to NC to GA, my friends, my family of choice, my medical team and The Lord God, id be an empty shell of a person still at the bottom of a bottle at all hours of the day wanting to die every second i was breathing.. yes, it got that bad more times than i can count so THANK YOU to everyone who has given a shit about me and this crazy life i've had!!! once i realized that roughly 10% of my life is whats happened to me and came to accept that 90% of my life were problems that i created myself, was when i was able to become grateful for all the problems i DONT have & blessed that although some bridges are forever burned, there are many that are not!!! if i continue to act right, i have beautiful opportunities to improve myself and my relationships, the most important one being with God.
i know ive got some haters but i don't view them as enemies anymore bc i don't like harboring anger in my heart anymore .. it doesn't feel good and it only speaks to my own personal insecurity when i've talked poorly of somebody in the past. ive never quoted tupac in my life but there's a first time for everything 🤣 "i want you to eat, just not at my table." to the people i don't like and to those that don't like me, let's pray for each other. everybody deserves happiness and to thrive in their own way.. i'm not gonna be apart of some people's lives and BOTH of us are better because of it! God, i loveeee acceptance!!!! 🙌
above all.. do & be YOU, boo boo!
if it matters any, i think you're pretty great! 😋😙
as alwaysss, much love from knox & prayers to friends in mid tenn!! hope everyone is safe!! 🙏
xoxo
kels
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Cost of ownership of mercedes benz class C versus Mazda 3?
Cost of ownership of mercedes benz class C versus Mazda 3?
Hi Everybody, I live in California, and I m planning to buy or lease a new car, a Mazda 3 to be specific. A friend of mine has a mercedes benz C250 in a leasing contract. He is leaving the country and giving me the opportunity to continue using the car, paying a little more than $200 per month for the remaining 11 months of the lease contract. What I don t want is to spend a lot more money every month in gasoline, maintenance, assurance, etc. because it is a mercedes benz, and I was thinking to lease a Mazda 3. Unless the difference is no significant. Can someone comment what could be the difference of ownership cost between those two cars? Thank you all!
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Hitting a Wall: What to Do When It Feels Like You're Not Making Financial Progress
Tell me if this sounds familiar. Youre in reasonably good financial shape. You probably have an emergency fund of some kind. Youre almost definitely not carrying any high-interest debts you might have a student loan or a mortgage, but nothing overwhelming. Youre probably contributing at least a little to retirement. Things are good. Yet theres still this overwhelming sense that youre just running in place. Things might be on solid ground, but youre not really building the foundation for the things you hope to have in life someday. Youre just running in place, one day after the next. Life is comfortable but its not going anywhere. You have some dreams, but they feel just as distant as they did years ago they might be negligibly closer, but thats all. Your life really doesnt seem any better than it did a few years ago, except that youre a few years older. Is this it? Is the American dream just a treadmill with a pretty picture on the wall in front of it? I want more out of life than that. Many of my friends do. Im guessing you do, too. Yet that sense of running in place and never making real progress is a very common thing. How does a person get out of that rut? For me, there are several techniques that I use to make sure I dont feel like Im just running in place with my financial progress. Here are six strategies that have worked really well for me over the years. Strategy #1: Reassess Your Goals If your life feels like youre just running in place, what are you running for? What are you running from? Often, that sense of just running in place or of hitting a wall comes when youve got a big goal youve been working towards and youve either achieved that goal in part or in full or else that goal is so far off in the future that it doesnt seem to be a real part of your day to day life. Lets say that your big goal has been to repay some or all of your debts. Youve managed to achieve it youre free from credit card debt. You have a lot of good financial habits that youre continuing to follow but now the extra money feels rather purposeless. Its tempting to just start splurging, but that feels wasteful, so you just kind of run in place and money builds up in your checking account. (I have a friend who is in this exact position at the moment and this post is in part written with him in mind.) Maybe you do have a big goal, like retiring at age 50 or 55 with a healthy annual income from your retirement savings. The only catch is that youre 32 and that goal seems like a lifetime away. You started when you were 28 and that seems almost forever in the past and you have far more ground to cover ahead of you than youve already covered. That mountain in the distance looks just as far away as it ever has. There are many variations on these stories and they all lead to that sense of plateauing, of no longer making meaningful progress toward any goal even though your tactics are still good and you havent really changed them. Often, the problem isnt your tactics, but your goal. When you achieve a significant goal in life, theres a sense of accomplishment, but then quickly thereafter theres a sense of nothing. You have a lot of good tactics in place for reaching the goal you just achieved, but now it feels aimless and empty. If youre in that situation, spend some time seriously thinking about whats next in your life. What do you want to do in the future? Maybe you want to change careers. Maybe you want to start a business. Maybe you want to retire early. Maybe you want to get your kids through college with minimal or no student loans. If youre without a goal, set one. The nice thing about big-long term financial goals is that, in the early stages, theyre usually really flexible. They center around either paying off debts or saving money somewhere. That means that you can decide, in a few years, to change your goal radically and youre usually in good shape for whatever your new goal is. So dont worry about the possibility of wanting a different goal in the future. Instead, worry about choosing a meaningful goal right now. What speaks to you? Make that your big goal and use that initial enthusiasm push you along for a while. Not only will it feel fresh and new, youll find that your initial progress feels quite big, too. What if youre in the other bucket and you do have a long-term goal but it seems incredibly far off in the future and your regular progress feels slow? First of all, do a gut check and make sure that you still really want this goal. Visualize your life at the point where this goal will be achieved. Does that vision really excite you still? Or is it interesting, but not something that makes you feel a little tingly? If you still find it exciting, indulge in visualizing that big goal regularly. This helps keep the goal feeling lively and meaningful. For example, the exciting vision in my life is Sarah and I effectively retiring about the time our youngest son finishes his schooling. For the first couple of years, we are going to do a lot of touring around the United States, visiting tons of national parks and significant state parks and national monuments and weird roadside attractions and the like and simply seeing America, just the two of us, like we did when we were dating and in the early years of marriage before a flood of kids made that kind of thing much more difficult. Except, this time, we arent worried about a career or about jobs or anything and we still have our health and many years ahead of us. That, for me, is the dream. Thats the big vision. If you dont find it exciting, spend some time soul searching until you find that goal that seems exciting, then indulge in regular visualization of that goal. Again, its that regular visualization of something you deeply want that makes a huge difference in terms of making your forward progress seem meaningful. In other words, if you really are on a treadmill, make sure that picture in front of you is as beautiful and engaging as possible so you dont notice the treadmill as much. Strategy #2: Change Your Focus One reason why people start to feel like theyre stuck in a rut is that theyre looking at a particular way of measuring their forward progress that isnt showing them the actual benefits of their effort. A great example of this is when you focus on the standard of living of your day to day life when youre aiming at a big financial goal. You might feel like youve been working hard forever, but nothing is changing and nothing is going to change for a long time. Youre still working at a demanding job. Your standard of living is roughly the same as it has been for a while. Nothing seems to be changing in your life, but youre still working really hard. In those situations, it can be really valuable to look frequently at a different metric, a different way of examining your life and charting your progress. For example, rather than thinking about your day to day life, keep your eyes on a number like your net worth or your overall retirement balance. Keep track of those numbers over time and compare your current number to earlier ones. In my own life, I look at both of those numbers fairly often when Im feeling like Im running in place, and then I dont look at them much at all when I feel good about things. Seeing the growth in my net worth and in my retirement savings makes me feel really good about my financial progress, even if my day to day life feels unchanged. In truth, my daily standard of living hasnt changed much at all in the last decade, so if I looked at that, I would feel like Im not headed in a great direction. However, when I look at my retirement accounts, Sarahs retirement accounts, and our childrens 529 accounts, its pretty hard to miss the immense progress on all fronts. Things like helping our children with their education have gone from wistful dreams to mortal locks. Things like trying to retire in our early fifties (or so) isnt a dream at all, its more like an inevitable conclusion (assuming thats what we choose to do at that point). My day to day life is a bad metric for what my future holds. I only feel disheartened when I look at my day to day life as the main metric for success. The thing I need to remember is that my big life goals involve being very busy and almost overwhelmed at this point in my life and having many parts of my life be simple and automatic is part of my biggest life ambitions. I want to raise three children to be solid citizens in the world (which Im doing now) and then when theyre on their own, enjoy the rest of my life with Sarah in a very low stress environment (which Im actively preparing for). So, my metric for seeing whether or not Im successful at those endeavors isnt the quality of or change in my day to day life. If Im looking at that, then Im going to feel like Im running in place. What I need to look at instead is the quality of my relationship with my children and my wife, how frequently I put aside time and energy to listen to them and genuinely try to understand them and guide my children in a positive way, and my savings progress toward the big events coming down the road. Those things are in good shape and theyre aiming in a very positive direction, even if my day to day life doesnt seem to be radically impacted. The changes are there, but theyre subtle, and I have to know where to look. Remember, when you look at a beautiful house, you usually dont see the foundation right away. If youre improving your foundation, then measure the foundation, not the house. Strategy #3: Look for the Things That Dont Matter One common element of feeling like youre hitting a wall and not making any progress is that youre, in fact, not actually making any progress. If you take a peek at other indicators like account balances and net worth and find that its not growing very fast at all, then your money is going toward things that arent your goals and youre making extremely slow progress (if any) toward your financial goals. The Simple Dollar is loaded with advice on how to handle this situation, but theres really one single piece of advice that stands above all else: What are you spending money on thats unimportant to you? Whatever that is, cut it down to the bare minimum. The common reaction that many people have is to reflexively say that everything they spend money on is important, but thats very, very rarely true. Most of us spend at least some of our money on things that are really unimportant in the big scheme of our lives. Instead, if youre feeling like this, then its time to run through all of your expenditures with a fine toothed comb and ask yourself whether or not this item is really, really important to you and, if its not, look for ways to cut that spending to a bare minimum. Is your car insurance vitally important to you? Well, you have to have it, but very few people are going to have deep personal feelings about their auto insurance policy. Shop around and get a cheaper rate, then start funneling that savings straight into your long term goals. Is your cell phone plan vitally important to you? Many people may need or really want some form of cell phone plan, but many people are on a plan thats overkill for what they actually use. Look at what you actually use, then shop around for a plan that matches that, and start funneling the savings straight into your long term goals. Is the brand of ketchup you buy vitally important to you? Maybe if youre a ketchup connoisseur, but for the vast majority of people, ketchup is ketchup. Start buying ketchup and all of the other things that arent vitally important to you in store brand form, and channel those savings straight toward your long term goals. Do this with everything you spend money on. Stop spending your money and thus the time and energy and effort that went into earning it on things you dont really care about and start channeling it toward stuff that you do care about. Youll find that you start moving toward big goals far more rapidly. Strategy #4: Automate Your Good Financial Moves in an Aggressive Way A big part of strategy #3 is about channeling the found money in your life toward your big financial goals. This sounds good on paper, but when you have some cash in your checking account, it might not be on top of your mind to put that money toward retirement or college savings or whatever. Thats where automation comes in. When youve cut your spending in some notable fashion, you should set up an automatic transfer of that exact amount you cut toward a big goal that you have. Did you cut your monthly cell phone plan by $20? Add $20 per month to your automatic contribution to your Roth IRA. Did you save $60 a year by changing auto insurance policies? Bump up your retirement savings at work by $5 a month. Did you manage to trim $50 a month from your grocery and household supplies spending by switching to mostly store brands? Schedule an automatic extra payment on one of your debts for you guessed it $50 a month. Did you find some other way to save $10 a week? Set up an automatic $10 weekly transfer from your checking to your savings to start building up an emergency fund, so the next car breakdown doesnt catch you off guard. Since you know how those cuts were made, doing something else with the savings shouldnt affect your standard of living one iota outside of those specific changes. Meanwhile, youre now making automatic progress toward whatever your goal might be. That progress will become apparent over time if youre looking at the right metrics (see Strategy #2). Youll see your debts declining a little faster. Youll see your retirement savings growing a little faster. Youll stop plateauing and start heading toward your goals again. Strategy #5: Focus on the Meaning: What Do Your Contributions Actually Represent? Often, when were working toward a big financial goal, the little steps we take along the way can feel really insignificant and meaningful. What is a step when youre running a marathon? Its one of tens of thousands of other steps, right? Yet each of those steps requires some effort. Each of those steps requires some sacrifice. If youre putting $100 into retirement savings, thats $100 that youre not enjoying in ones daily life. Thats a choice and a sacrifice, and its one that many people start to struggle with. Its an even more difficult choice when its hard to tangibly see what the $100 toward a big financial goal represents. $100 might be a great dinner with my wife and a movie together and maybe a stop at a bookstore where we each pick out a book. What is $100 toward retirement? Its hard to see it. For me, I find that there is a great deal of value in seeing what those individual steps represent. For me, what I have found a great deal of value in doing is breaking down my cost of living into how much that is per day and using that as a measuring stick I call it a day of freedom. Lets say my annual living expenses are $36,500 per year. Thats just a convenient number to make this easy to understand. If I translate that into a day, that means that every $100 I have in retirement represents roughly a day of freedom from having to work. Its a day I can sleep in. Its a day I can rise and stretch and not have to think about work unless I want to keep working on a project. Its a day I can fill with leisure if I choose. Its a day where I can chase down whatever passion is on my mind. I can go on a long walk or whatever it is that I want to do. Its just a day of complete freedom. Its a complete day of freedom for Sarah, too; we might spend it together, or we might each do our own thing. Every $100 I put into retirement savings represents a day of complete freedom like that. Even better, every time I put in $100, its an extra day on the front end of retirement, meaning a day when Im as physically and mentally healthy as Im going to be. When I look at my $100 contribution to retirement that way, things start to reshape themselves. I could spend $100 on an exorbitant date with Sarah, or we could have a modest dinner at home, cuddle up and watch a Netflix movie, and go on a nighttime walk hand in hand, and then that $100 goes into retirement and buys us a day of freedom later. Naturally, there are some things and some experiences where its pretty sweet to have them right now, but that threshold gets a lot higher when I see it gobbling up days of freedom from my life. Those are beautiful and valuable and precious. You can do that kind of translation with almost any goal that you have. Retirement makes it really easy, but you can look at college savings as basically opening opportunities for your kids. You can look at debt freedom as lower bills and more opportunities for you. Just divide it up into pieces that are really meaningful for you for me, the thought of a day of freedom is really powerful, so I use it a lot. $100 in retirement savings buys me a day of freedom, and each and every $100 contribution moves those days of freedom ever closer to today. Eventually, my life moving forward and those days building backward are going to meet up, and every single bit of savings shrinks that gap. Strategy #6: Raise Your Income This final strategy is a little different because its not just a switch that most of us can easily flip in our lives, or else wed do it. Raising your income usually requires a lot of effort within your career or entrepreneurial path, a career switch, or a second job or side gig, and all of those are challenging and require effort and planning. However, if you want a way to sustainably get out of your financial slog, jumpstarting your income (and directing that increase to your financial goals) is a guaranteed way to do it. So, how is this relevant and actionable? Simply put, you can simply choose to make improving your income into a short-term or medium-term goal thats part of your long-term financial goals. Your goal might be to retire early, but the thing you can really work on right now on the way to that goal is setting yourself up for more earnings. For example, if you think that the best next step to earning more for you is to get a raise or a promotion at work, talk to your boss about a concrete plan with clear steps that you can follow to take you to that goal. That plan becomes your medium-term goal; the individual steps are short-term goals. If you want to start a side business, write up a business plan (short-term goal) and execute that plan (medium-term goal) by following all of the steps (a bunch of short-term goals). If you want to launch a new career, figure out what your path looks like from where youre at to that new career path (short-term goal) and start following that path (medium-term goal) by getting the education you need (medium-term) a class at a time (short-term) and setting yourself up to dive into that new path with success. If you want to jump to a new job in your career path, figure out what you need to have on your resume to make that leap (short-term task) and make building that resume your goal (medium-term goal). Each step in that process is a short-term goal that you can work on at your current job or in the evenings. In short, you turn income growth into a medium-term goal, and the steps to getting there into short-term goals, as part of your long-term financial goals. Those steps arent guarantees of more money nothing ever is. However, those steps are all about you controlling the part of the process that you can actually control, which is your actions, thoughts, and behavior. You do your part and good things will typically follow. Final Thoughts When you feel like youre stuck in place with your financial progress, there are many potential causes and youll often find that more than one of them apply to you. You might not have a compelling long term vision at all. You might be focused on the wrong measurement of success. You might be misusing your resources and wasting your efforts. You might not be appreciative of the usefulness of each step and what it really means. Or, you might just need some tangible short term and medium term goals. Whatever the case may be, there are ways to break through this wall and either start making fresh financial progress or recognize that youre actually making a lot more progress than you thought. In either case, your path forward becomes illuminated in a whole new way. Good luck! Read more by Trent Hamm: https://www.thesimpledollar.com/hitting-a-wall-what-to-do-when-it-feels-like-youre-not-making-financial-progress/
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