#these are the only ones ive found for less than £100
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I'm so sick of my boots having to be replaced. Why must shoes I wear every day in often difficult conditions and in best case scenario pavement as a guy who walks literally everywhere all the time not have indestructible soles and leather sides which cannot be torn by falling over sharp rocks. Anyone got better recs than grinders heralds for big steel toe leather boots that last longer than a year and a bit or is this my life forever
#i gave up on docs because theyre very expensive and wear out way too fast for that price#these are the only ones ive found for less than £100#i love steel toes bc i work places you often need them and also i go to lots of gigs and also sometimes get hate crimed#so. big stompy boots
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am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes
#that being said. pressurized cabins drive me insane a little bit#and also it gives you pretty intense sea legs for a While#like. the ones from the first trip hadnt gone away by the return one. so. might be stuck with that for a few days#we shall see#also ajr live fucks severely#the albums were already incredible but that was a goddamn religious experience#like. idk the way i think abt it is theyre more djs than a regular band esp w their performance showing the making of way less sad#like their music is very electronic‚ theyre making mixes of their own sound effects more than singing in one go#so like. the vocals were a teeensy bit rough at times#notably times it has taken me Literally Hundreds Of Hours Practice to be able to consistently sing along with#and times ive found its literally physically impossible to like. no matter what#idc how big your lungs are‚ there is no human on earth who can do that final run of karma in one breath#much less to An Entire Stadium After An Hour Of Jumping And Dancing And Singing Loud As Fuck#so like i dont blame them for that‚ you dont go to live shows expecting it to be 100% perfect anyways jwbdjsbfksb#the trumpet however. well she was certainly playing sometimes. and was very enthusiastic about her flares.#however. in most of their songs they use midi trumpets to my ear at least#meaning she was likely an addition specifically for live performances and in my personal band kid opinion#prooobably was not in any of the like. higher tier bands? idk just. a lot of the mistakes she was making were hitting as stuff that got#taught out of us the instant we joined any band beyond regular concert#so i would guess she was probably just like. a friend who happened to play trumpet in high school or maybe even just middle school#and they knew that the trumpet parts in their pieces were big and distinct enough that like they /had/ to get a live player#and just kinda. didnt anticipate the audition -> performance gap#like. her tone was really fried the whole time like she was playing as hard as possible#which. she was mic'd. have the sound guy turn her up.#the way they did it made it sound like she was using a mute but not. like she only got the bad parts of a mute from it yknow#her tempo and timing were. bad. theres no nice way to put that one it just Was Bad‚ like the trumpet runs in ajr songs arent. complicated#like. quite literally if you handed me the sheet music right now i would have it down perfect in a week at absolute most#and better than that player on sightread. like. we did so many sightreading drills.#like ill share my band kid creds if anyone cares but i need to emphasize this isnt me being braggy like. they genuinely just arent hard#fuck im out of tags. w/e i think only like one of yall also listens to them anyways so i can leave it there
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OUTTA MY MIND (teaser)
18+ / mdi
summary: getting a brand new job as a senior idol's manager was scary enough on its own, but it became even worse when said idol was jeon jungkook, idol of all idols. what made it even worse? when jungkook began taking a special liking to you, damning any conflict of interest his crush on you may have had.
content: idol!au, staff!reader x idol!jungkook, jungkook is shameless about his crush on reader, but it's fine bc reader likes him back!!, reader acts hard to get bc her job is too important though boo, afab reader, banter, jk is a flirt, reader is a little bit shy, a lot of rlly wrong info about working in the industry, smut, oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, etc.
(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)
wc: 924 (teaser); 7.7k (full fic)
release date: may 31st
or you can check it out on my ko-fi or patreon today by subscribing to either one!
a/n: ive had this in the drafts for a while but kept forgetting to finish it lol anyways i hope u guys enjoy it once it comes out<3 (also not 100% proofread oops..)
masterlist | kofi/patreon
support me through a one time tip<3
Whenever you'd tell someone you worked within the entertainment industry, – the music industry, to be precise – people always showed a little extra interest in your words, probably assuming you to be involved in the flashier aspects of it. The statement on it's own sounded exciting, enigmatic even. This would only then be followed by disappointed upon finding out your specific profession of choice, deeming it less exciting than most.
You were a manager. No, you were not an active member of the entertainment industry itself, but you were one of the many pillars necessary for the talent to create the entertainment people would always seek.
Being as young as you were, it had been hard to get to where you were so quickly. Networking had been your best friend all throughout your career, eventually landing you in your current role – one that would only open even more doors for you.
It had only been a week since you had received a call from your friend – an old friend from an internship who just so happened to be a former Hybe video producer – letting you know of a recent opening as one of the many managers at the company. Having been between gigs at the time, you jumped at the chance without a second thought. Hybe? The biggest entertainment company in Korea? You didn't need any details before agreeing.
It was a few days later in which you found out the details. The opportunity had been even more life-altering than you'd thought.
Originally, you had believed you'd end up becoming manager to one of the many brand new rookie groups in the growing company. With so many surging youth in the industry, it made sense to you that you'd be assigned such a role, not having had any prior experience within Hybe itself.
Except that wasn't the case. Having previously worked and interned at a few other South Korean entertainment companies through the years, it seemed like Hybe deemed you experienced enough to assign you the role of becoming a senior artist's manager.
Jeon Jungkook.
Senior artist had been an understatement. Those had been the words written in your contract, explaining your role in excruciating detail, yet failing to mention that your client would be Korea's most popular singer.
You couldn't lie, you were insanely intimidated by your new role. Despite being proudly skilled at your job, becoming the manager of an idol who had been in the game for longer than you'd even been out of college was a bit scary. Jungkook had gone from the absolute bottom to the top, he had most likely lived through it all by now – what kind of expertise could you offer someone who had already seen it all?
Being manager of an idol differed slightly from managing any other person. Idol companies usually handled the schedulings, bookings, and the legalities of their artists. As a manager, you somewhat took the role of a bodyguard. You were meant to show up everywhere Jungkook went and become his spokesperson – vying for him as if your life depended on it.
And now it was too late to back out – not that you actually wanted to. All paperwork had been signed, you had your own personal Hybe badge and all the benefits that came along with working at the company. Any feelings of intimidation or fear for the role would have to be put aside as you walked into the Hybe building to meet with your new client; the boy you'd have to stick by 24/7 from now on.
You weren't sure what you were expecting upon meeting him. It wasn't like there would be any special introduction, or even as if you were his sole manager; no, he actually had a few others who would occasionally aid him in the absence of his main manager, which was now you. Today was a workday for him, meaning that he likely already had a few people in supportive roles as he did whatever it was that Jeon Jungkook did while working.
Walking into the huge building, after getting lost a few times, you made your way to the seventh floor, which, as you'd been informed, had various rooms designated for photoshoots. That's where you'd find Jungkook for the first time, presumably having one of the many shoots scheduled for this week.
Having possession of his schedule made you realize how busy idol life was. Despite having no public schedules all this week, he had a packed itinerary, filled with either shoots or signings or producing sessions. You hadn't even met him yet, but you were already assured that he was overly hardworking – and you had maybe also stalked him online this past week.
It was very unlikely you'd even speak to him, seeing how busy he was. Your duty, after all, was just to be one of the many members of his team, taking care of any logistics as you went around with him, but not taking away from his time by socializing with him.
Upon entering the room, he was the first thing you noticed. Ignoring every other person working the room, your eyes focused specifically on him. It was hard not to, since he was quite literally standing under the spotlight, modeling for a camera. But it was more than that. He had an aura that filled up the room. Putting aside every stylist and photographer in the room, every staff member and intern, he was truly the epitome of main character.
Fuck. Was this going to cause trouble?
....
you can check it out today on my ko-fi or patreon by subscribing to either one!
#bts smut#bts imagine#bts x reader#bts fanfic#jungkook imagine#jungkook x reader#jungkook scenario#jungkook fanfic#jungkook smut#bookmarks
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𝕊𝕝𝕪𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕟 𝔾𝕒𝕟𝕘 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤
A/N: I tried to keep this as Gender Neutral as possible :) Lmk if you would like to see more Slytherin Gang Headcanons
*also, two posts in less than 24 hours of each other - its a miracle-*
<><><>
Pansy loves doing everyone's nails; you best believe if everyone's nails are done monthly. (Its def Draco's guilty pleasure)
Even though it appears that you all hate each other and stay together due to status; you would kill for each other (Some more than others *cough* Mattheo *cough*)
Since Draco got turned into a Ferrett by "Moody," his nickname has been Ferrett Boy within the group.
Theodore and Mattheo are constantly getting into detention for reckless fighting w/ each other.
Blaise is the only one in the group to actually do his homework; everyone else just mooches off of him.
Modern!Au Pansy would 100% be in love with Lana Del Ray (as she mf should)
Modern!Au Mattheo would 100% be in love with Artic Monkeys and even possibly The Front Bottoms
Modern!Au Draco would really love Miss Taylor Swift - I won't take any other answer. (another Guilty pleasure for sure - would want to disappear if the others found out)
Modern!Au Theodore would 100% listen to Childish Gambino (He knows all the lyrics to IV. Sweatpant and Me and Your Mama
Modern!Au Blaise would 1000% listen o Cigarettes After Sex
You all are the life of the party; Theodore buys the ZAZA ;) off of some Hufflepuffs; Mattheo borrows steals Fire Whiskey; Pansy is in charge of the Music; Draco and you are in Charge of snacks; Blaise is in charge of the invite list
<><><>
@ghostofscarley @devilishwitchfantasies
#slytherin gang x reader#hp fandom#blaise zabini#draco malfoy#pansy parkinson#theodore nott#draco malfoy x reader#pansy parkinson x reader#blaise zabini x reader#theodore nott x reader#mattheo riddle x reader
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Hey! I just recently found your Magneto fic and I am absolutely obsessed. Any updates coming in the future?
i’m super glad you enjoyed magneto! this ask has gotten me to finally put a discontinued in the description of magneto. it’s not at ALL because of you in particular, but i’ve realized by putting off adding it to the description i’ll keep giving people false hope. forgive me if i use this ask for a tediously long post describing why exactly i will never update magneto, so i can link it easily for anyone with similar questions in the future. 😭
so. short answer? no. magneto will probably never be updated. i’m really sorry for that. my interests have changed since graduating high school and i don’t really want to write bnha anymore.
long answer?
i started writing magneto pre-pandemic during my junior year of high school. i had seen there was only about a 100 self inserts for bnha at the time and thought “well, if i post something it’ll probably get a lot of attention, since the fandom is growing in popularity a lot and there’s a scarcity here!” 2019 was an interesting year for fanfic in bnha, since it didn't have enough content for the growing eyes looking for it.
i ended up being very correct. too correct. i actively updated magneto over the course of half a year, roughly, and in that time it rapidly climbed in attention. since 2020 ive only updated it about twice(?) and that hasn’t deterred the new readers it’s gotten. i get comments every other day asking about updates.
magneto is currently the most kudo-ed bnha si-oc on the entirety of ao3. which is fucking insane. i don’t think it deserves it, but popularity is rarely about deserving. usually it’s about being just good enough, just novel enough, and being posted at the right time.
but i digress: it doesn’t feel possible for me to update magneto for a variety of reasons.
1) my disinterest in the setting would make any future update disingenuous.
i haven’t been actively into the bnha fandom in about four years now. i don’t really read bnha fic aside from the very occasional si-oc, nor have i kept up with the manga or anime. the only fic i’ve ever written for the fandom is magneto, and it’ll probably always be my only fic for the fandom. (watch me say that and be wrong in the next few years LMAO)
it would be really rude of me to stomp into a space i don’t even like anymore and post something lackluster and lacking in passion. especially with the express intention of gaining more engagement from readers. like it or not, magneto IS the most popular si for bnha, and i think i drive attention away from better books by updating and inadvertently preserving that position in the ranking.
I can't believe no one has written any "self-insert as Bakugou" fanfics yet what a bunch of cowards by the_incidental_author and i have jostled back and forth for that #1 kudo-ed spot for the past five years. which i admit has been fun, but i would very much like for them to overtake me. it’s clear (to me, at least) that they actually enjoy writing bnha more than me and update more often to boot.
i fully welcome ANY fic to take magneto's position at this point, if only so that less people comment how poorly written it is. which leads me into my next point.
2) my writing style has SIGNIFICANTLY changed over the past five years.
when i do my yearly reread of magneto i actively cringe and have to resist the urge to rewrite every chapter in a separate google doc. in any hypothetical world where i do add to magneto, i do a complete rewrite. in no particular order, the things i would change are:
kenzo being defined by three character traits and nothing else. her exhaustion, her mild spite for her father, and her aimless wandering through the plot
better grammar. dear god the grammar errors. dear god the SPELLING ERRORS
the pov characters being more developed and feeling more like Individual People with their own personal motivations and histories that are not defined by what the plot needs from them (cough, reacting to how cool kenzo is)
not just recapping each anime episode and stating what kenzo would do in that situation
placing greater focus on the way quirk society discriminates against those with undesirable quirks and backgrounds. what does it really mean to be the child of a criminal in a world where people assume that sort of thing is hereditary?
kenzo's classmates should've been more classist in general, especially in relation to quirk discrimination. UA is a school only the most wealthy and powerful get into, there's no way there wouldn't be social disconnects that create tension between a dead eyed daughter of a villain and more than a few nepo babies.
if you have any interest in naruto, skyrim, asoiaf or dragon age you've probably read my more recent fics. fluffy clouds and a tinge of wonder, the fic i have updated the most this year, is a really good example of how significantly my writing has evolved since starting magneto in 2019. my technical skill and style have changed enough that it just would be tonally jarring for me to update magneto without outright rewriting everything.
like. im being so fr with you right now, i didn't learn how to start outlining until about a YEAR AGO. magneto was written on a chapter by chapter basis with little idea of where exactly it was going. i implied that there would be a future confrontation between kenzo and her father, but i didn't have any idea of HOW that would occur or even what the consequences of it would be.
adding to magneto as it is would be like trying to add a sleeve to a shirt that's missing it's entire back panel and most of it's front. i'd be playing catch up with the plot and end up having to rewrite previous chapters anyways.
3) bnha commentors have been kind of really mean to me compared to other fandoms i've written for LMAO
ok. please don't draw and quarter me for this. MOST commentors have been extremely complimentary, and kind. besides the occasional bomb of like seven comments in my inbox of ten hearts from one user (which, sweet, but please don't do that) the bnha fandom has been totally fine.
but a very small minority have been really pushy about making me update a fic i have clearly not touched in two years, and realistically haven't actively updated in four. from comments just saying "wow this is great. update soon." to DETAILED reviews of how bad my fic is and how they can't believe how garbage like magneto is so popular.
which like. i don't feel personally attacked by? i fully agree that magneto is bad for the previously stated reasons. i wouldn't read magneto if i were a casual reader and hadn't written it. usually the second kind of comment really annoys me because of it's presumption of importance and for how soul crushing it would have been for sixteen-year-old me to read.
bnha as a fandom, especially in recent years, has felt more and more like they treat fic like something that is created in a vacuum. souless content that exists for readers to consume. the comments don't go to an inbox, they go to a void, so really it doesn't matter if i say something really belligerent to an author i don't know about a Self Insert Fanfic They Wrote In Between Rehearsals For Their High School Play.
but whatever. if it had just been me experiencing that i would've written it off as like just my fic, but a close friend and frequent cowriter of mine Reavv has dealt with this a lot more than me.
they wrote It's a like a time travel comedy, without the comedy, another very popular bnha fic, and had to private it because people were going to their other UNRELATED fics and badgering them to update it. people still go into their comments insisting they unprivate it, oblivious to the fact that every time they ask it adds another year to reavv's internal timer for when they will.
a combination of my own experiences and reavv's have completely put me off of writing bnha i'll be fr. even if i was still in the fandom, the majority of my fics will always be about fucking dragon age and skyrim. i do not want random bnha fans coming into my dragon age fics and, AFTER NOT READING THE FIC, saying that since im active i should clearly update my bnha fics. that's a nightmare scenario for me.
in conclusion
i am so glad that people like magneto, i'm glad that i wrote magneto. the initial jump in readers i got from magneto gave me the confidence to write other fics, and the alternating pov format is a staple of most of my writing now. some of the comments i got for that magneto when i was a teenager were the only things that kept my ass going.
but magneto is never being updated. i don't even think it's gonna be rewritten. i really am sorry about that, but it is what it is. thank you for reading it, thank you for loving it, thank you for feeling ambivalent about it. good talk.
btw to the original asker, again. this is NOT a rant directed at you, you just inspired some Thoughts in me and i had to let them loose.
#asks#magneto#bnha magneto#yukimura kenzo#fanfiction#a detailed semi essay on why you will never get a magneto update#my bad guys#i shouldnt have updated it in 2022 i gave you all some really false hope#i did it because i felt obligated to do so#because of how popular magneto was and is#but i genuinely do not gaf about bnha anymore#it cant be helped#to those of you coming from ao3 where i've linked this post#HELLO!#please do not be mean in the comments or try and convince me to change my mind lmao#it will not work. i do not like bnha anymore. i just want to write about fantasy
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ok so ive never properly played genshin and don’t plan to but i know a bit about it’s lore and characters and i think it’s really neat. however i have thousands of hours on ffxiv. on that note please explain why graha and childe are similar. i only have very basic knowledge on childe and i gotta know
Fellow ffxiv enjoyer. <3
(anyone asking me about G'raha has a 100% chance of getting a wall of text and I'm not apologising for that. enjoy your wall of text)
I'm not entirely sure I'm not a case of a person with a hammer to whom everything resembles a nail, but I do think they are the same archetype.
Sweet characters who could have been perfect sidekicks (who still are perfect sidekicks) but listened to too many epic tales as kids and found themselves in a wrong place at a wrong time and now have to play a key role in some universe-changing story.
Both are defined mostly by their stubborness, they are not very suitable for the roles they've chosen and fail over and over again until they do it somewhat right (barely).
No matter how badass they look, their power is not their own, G'raha is a glorified technician of someone else's miracle and little else than a living key, Childe wields an art of old Khaenri'ah without fully understanding it. It's all borrowed from someone else who needed them to achieve a goal.
They do look badass, but mostly because they larp. I'm honestly not sure which one enjoys theatrics more.
Civilisations that created the magic they use specialised in perversion of the natural order of things. They try to use it in relatively noble ways and mostly hurt themselves but the flavour is there.
Both are unbelievably tragic and both somehow make their stories seem almost lighthearted. Complete absense of self-pity. I think that's what makes them both so charming, it's a rare trait.
Both have an incredible capacity for loyalty and love and an incredibly twisted view of what relationships look like. "I'll cross time and space for you, I'll die for you, I'll build a city for you, I'll live for you but please don't ask me to share my plans." "I'll sacrfice my own health and respect of my subordinates to keep my brother's happyness, probably my humanity too, but don't expect me to actually interact with him."
Both have something that looks like self-sacrificial tendencies bordering on suicidality while being, if we are honest, a self-serving trait (partially born out of low self-esteem but still self-serving). They want to live in an old myth and sacrificing oneself is a perfectly reasonable price for that.
Huge egos. And I mean Huge Egos. It's a bit less obvious in Graha's case but I know the type, you see guys like that in PhD programs a lot.
Huge dorks. Both of them.
Both are stuck somewhere between human and non-human and, hmm... their ability to remain human is the most astonishing quality of both. By all accounts, neither should have. They somehow did.
Both are incapable of lying to the point where a third of each fandom headcanons them as autistic. Both are somewhat all right with tricking people without technically lying (although Childe had more practice).
Both are secretive because no one would understand anyway.
FF XIV is a kinder story, so it's easy to overlook, but technically G'raha is a case of body horror, accepts the role of a villain for a while and hides from the player way too much. Hmmm... Where else have I seen it. Hmm. Oh right. That ginger guy from Genshin.
Minor things:
Both are little shits and enjoy annoying the hell out of people they dislike.
Abysmally bad fashion sense. There should be a name for this particular type and level of bad. I don't think I've seen this anywhere else.
And then there's the colour scheme. Red+black+white+blue and red+black+light grey+blue (it's an "anime magician" color profile, I think. black-red-white as alchemy colours + blue as pure magic/something elemental). Childe doesn't quite fit but still the combination is rare.
They way they talk. Dear gods. Who the hell talks like that.
Here's where the similarities end.
One is morally grey but ultimately a good guy (technically. I think the point of ShB was that Emet and G'raha are almost the same), another is a morally grey but still (kind of) a bad buy.
At every step of his story Graha is surrounded by people who love or at least appreciate him, Childe is pretty much on his own and surrounded by people who are either shitty or clueless.
G'raha is kind. Truly and astonishingly kind, in a doomed world he chooses to love everything he touches. Silly little priest of hope. Of all the things he has done this is the most wondrous, I think. Not the time travel, not the city he founded, just being able to remain kind after everything that happened to him.
Childe is... well, Childe. I think he is a deeply decent person (to the point of having a visceral distaste for any kind of unfairness) and he's idealistic but he's indifferent more than he is kind. Empathy usually develops only when someone has shown the person empathy first and, as far as we know, he didn't have much of that in his life.
Also G'raha builds things. Childe breaks things. Childe breaks pretty much everything he touches.
One is an archeologist and a mage and another is a warrior.
I think these differences are caused mostly by the settings they were put into. Childe raised in Sharlayan would have been a very different person. G'raha trained by a voidsent and shipped off to Garlean military would look very much like Childe.
G'raha also has a beautiful character development arc. I love his ShB role. He has this huge ego in the raids and is insufferable and then we see an older and wiser him with a bunch of actual achievements and a bad case of impostor syndrome (trying to do anything real always humbles a person, we all know that real world is held together by sticks and scotch tape. honestly, this change alone is beautiful). And he gets to be an actual hero when he abandons all hope to be Important and resigns to die as a nameless villain if it saves everyone and spares his loved ones from heartbreak.
Childe's character development is yet to happen and I'm not hoping for much but we'll see.
The only difference that definitely isn't created by setting is that G'raha is naturally manipulative. In a kind-hearted way and mostly for the sake of better larp but he isn't that straightforward. Childe is spectacularly blunt for all his mysteriousness.
As a bonus, they both compare main characters to stars, but in completely different ways.
"No doubt your heroism will be the star by which I chart my course," says G'raha to the WoL.
Childe mentions the morning star, which is, of course, pretty and a good companion to a lonely traveler, but also it's not a celestial body you can chart your course by.
It's a guy whose signature weapon is called "Polar Star" and his first artifact set was full of nautical themes, so I think he fully understands what he's saying. "You are my friend but I won't change anything in my life for you."
So I don't think his story will be anything like G'raha's, his life took a different turn very long ago. I do think they used to be similar as kids, bookish boys who dreamed of adventure and being special. So it's fun to compare.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk. <3
#honestly I think it's mostly involvement in deep lore and the lack of self-pity#everything else just snowballs from it#I refuse to be contained#the world must know everything about g'raha#he's the only character who has a personal tag in my old livejournal blog#even childe doesn't#even dragon age morrigan#g'raha tia#eternal wind#ff xiv#childe#tartaglia#rinn talks to people#one would think that the closest ffxiv parallel to childe would be zenos#another blood knight#and in a sense he is#but also not really#zenos raised in sharlayan would still be zenos#but also maybe I'm overthinking and reading into childe's character too much#I hope not#I want a good story for him
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hiya jesse darlin!! i’ve got about a million questions for the ask game >:] these are all things i’m curious about, but it’s a lot. so feel free to pick just a few to answer <3
12, 13, 14, 42, 99, 100, 119, 127, 137, 142, 145, 146, 148, 149
i love you jesse beloved!! i hope you’re doing well <333
HIYA SOL!!! Ilyt <3, i hope you’re having a good day! I’m gonna answer all of these :]
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
OGH okok. This changes constantly but lately:
- Sedona by Sir Chloe
- Thank God for Springtime by Levi Shrader
- Snowbank Blues by the Backseat Lovers
- Sex with a Ghost by Teddy Hyde
- Cool from West Side Story
Two of these were actually recommendations, Sedona was recommended to me by @specimen101 and Snowbank Blues was recommended to me by @ricky-mortis (Thank you guys! :D ). Also I found out about Thank God for Springtime at a student art showcase for my college. I met Levi Shrader and hung out with him and then he was like “alright :] im gonna go get ready for the show :] see ya :]” as if he wasn’t about to play music that fundamentally changed my brain chemistry. I also strongly recommend his songs Calvary Hill and St. Mary Amygdala to anyone that likes folk music.
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
I…. am a simple creature. (Head scratches 🔥 especially the back of my hair where its shortest)
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
Nope not really, I participate occasionally in superstition only for the sake of whimsy
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?
It’s probably an anxiety attack
99. Have any pets?
A dog named Goldie. She’s a mutt that looks like a small pudgy black lab. She’s 14 but she’s acts like she’s just turned 1
100. How are you feeling?
Less anxious than normal, glad to finally have some free time this week, and kinda drowsy cause I just woke up
119. Favourite book?
I don’t read much but I like reading plays. I’d say my favorite is A Midsummer Night’s Dream by Shakespeare
127. What makes you happy?
Talking about my favorite musicals, plays, and movies, preferably to someone who is equally insane
137. How tall are you?
5’9 I think
142. Favourite month?
Maybe June because of summer break and also gay month. But I also love March because it’s got my birthday and spring and its the right temperature to wear my jackets
145. Tea or Coffee?
Tea! Coffee’s nice too but I think caffeine might be bad for my anxiety
146. Was today a good day?
Just started, I think it will be, but Ive got work to do and I hope I can get it done
147. Mars or Snickers?
Snickers
148. What’s your favourite quote?
Ough, couldn’t possibly choose. I have a few main ones. Maybe ask me for a character or piece of media to narrow it down? For now I’ll go with the Blasphemy quote even though we all know I love that one: “I will not be Shackled by the failures of Your god. The only blasphemy is to wallow in Insignificance. I have taken the refuse of your god’s failures and I have Triumphed!!!”
149. Do you believe in ghosts?
For fun but not for reals
Thanks for the questions! These were fun to answer
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Hiya! I found your blog through your neocities website! I was wondering if there’s any tips or things you read/watched that help you make your site. (Im heavily considering making one of my own neocities site it just seems fun)
hihi welcome !! i have quite a few pieces of advice, but the tldr is you should come up with an idea for what you want to make beforehand, and look up how to do each piece! your knowledge will start to fill in along the way :]
(this is probably gonna be long as hell so under the cut is all of the fun stuff /silly)
the way i personally started off was by sketching out what i wanted my site to look like! if you know what you want before you begin, you'll know where to look to figure out what you need to do. html+ css are extremely easy languages to read/write once you know what to look for!
^ this was the original sketch for my site, where i planned out everything i wanted to include. it's a bit different from what actually ended up on the site, but that's alright! it's just about having an outline to work from. i think of it like outlining before you write, it feels like such a pain in the ass because u just wanna start working NOW but u will thank yourself later for taking the time to plan.
once you know what you want to make, start looking for tutorials and resources to make it easier! the grid for my homepage and some of my other subpages was made using a css grid generator, since its one of the more confusing bits of css. you can make grids without it, but its a very easy way to make a more asymmetrical design if ur using the generator!
thats linked here, it gives you some css to put in your head or css sheet, and then the html for the different boxes to slap in your main document. it can be easier to understand what itll look like if you give each one a border while you work, even if its just temporary!
when looking for information about css and html, w3schools is your best friend. its a pretty comprehensive database of every little piece of html + css you could ever need, with examples you can play with yourself to understand what each variable does! it's been a lifesaver for me, ive watched basically zero video tutorials because everything on there is explained so well and you can find basically Anything.
they even have code snippets for things that take more than one or two lines of code, which you can use and adapt yourself! (the tooltips on the official art + my art sections on the hinata shrine were adapted from a tutorial on there!)
in general, having a plan and working from there will make ur life so much easier. the pages that ive sketched out beforehand or ive had a very clear vision for have been WAYY easier to code than the ones i tried to come up with on the fly, and ive been much happier with how they've turned out as well. though i do also have some smaller, rapidfire tips as well that ill go thru now!!
— inline css (the style="" tag) seems so so useful but really should only be used when you're resizing images like buttons. when u keep all of your css in the head or in a seperate document, its way easier to debug and read later. i cleaned up my homepage recently by removing all of the inline css and looking at the code stresses me out WAY less because i can actually read it LOLOL ... plus cutting the css out and putting it in its own document made me realize that id accidentally wrote some really weird code in some places
— this is very much 'do as i say, not as i do,' but use an external editor (like visual studio code) instead of editing live on neocities! you can set up a live preview, and generally wont be pushing out 100 updates every single time you change or add something. i tend to code directly on neocities but its a bad habit and i want to break it eventually v_v
— if you really like an effect someone else has on their site, you can peek using inspect element i promise the coding police won't get you !! dont steal code line for line, but you can figure out what theyre doing and put your own spin on it. things like border images can be really cool, and i only figured out about them because i looked at what someone else was doing and figured out how to adapt it for my own site! check linkbooks and credit sections as well, a lot of people will include links to any effect they didnt make themself or got help with. (including me! the credits section of the linkbook has a ton of little things i got from other places, including a really neat little music player, the rss feed for my status cafe, and the wobbly text on the homepage!)
— most stuff in html and css basically just... says what it does in the tag. so looking stuff up for it is extremely easy! if you've used carrd before you honestly probably already know more abt html than u'd think just intuitively. when ur adjusting the margins or padding in carrd, you're adjusting the margin: and padding: properties in the css of the website it's outputting!
this is getting way too long but!! my best advice is to just get started. you'll never be able to learn without trying, and it genuinely is so fun to have something that's truly your own!
(if u have any specific questions im happy to answer anytime as well! i love talking abt neocities, its a super fun hobby and way easier to pick up than u would think!)
#originals.txt#inbox.txt#neocities.zip#god im so sorry abt how long this is i havent had time to work on the site for a while and its getting to my head /silly
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so me and my ex gf of 5 years had a bad breakup last year, around the end of summer. when i moved out (we lived together, like we had an entire life and friends together) i didnt tell anyone. i waited until she was visiting family, i packed up and left while they were gone. i ended up taking her cat when i moved out of state (like FAR).
*brief reference to animal neglect, none actually occurred, but, well youll see*
ive been in this cats life for the 5 years my ex and i were dating, so its not like 😺 wasnt my baby. and ive been the one primarily taking care of him for those years (for a long time i was a stay at home or worked less than 20 hrs a week to ex's 40+ hr weeks, so it made sense). once we broke up - and there were a lot of reasons why, the biggest one being the "rescue" of a bait dog, and subsequent neglectful abuse of her in the resulting weeks. i ended up working 2 jobs at 50+ hrs a week, while taking care of an ex bait dog (who had SERIOUS behavioral issues, especially around colored men, which i am), a special needs cat, and all the house/yard chores for a 2b2b - she told me to "stay the fuck away from my 😺 and 🐶"....but would be gone for days at a time, rarely being at home for more than enough time to sleep & shower & [redacted]. suffice to say these animals would have greatly suffered, maybe even died, if not for my IMMEDIATE intervention. i was already so used to caring for 😺 anyways, and i grew up rehabing strays so im used to the bites and aggression
fast forward to when I'm about to go. the 🐶 had been rehomed properly through a shelter, and no one ever found out about ex's abhorrent neglect. i know taking her 😺 was wrong, they were together for 3 years before i came into the picture . 😺 was her ESA even! when they finally noticed 😺 was gone (5 days after id left. no idea if thats how long they were gone or if that's just how long it took to notice 😒) they said they filed a police report, but nothing ever came of it. no calls, no letters, no warrant for my arrest, nothing. but i genuinely believed it saved 😺 life.
i know i made the right decision, but i still feel so guilty about it, on top of all those icky feelings from a breakup 😞
*for those wondering 😺 is doing fantastic!! he's f i n a l l y up to weight, his ibs is 100% under control, his arthritis has been successfully accommodated & no longer bothers him, and hes reliabily getting his 3x a week intestine medicine. his fur is full and luscious, his teeth get brushed 1-3x a week, his hair is brushed everytime i brush my own, same with his nails. i also keep it fucking immaculate in my apt, unlike the very...unhygienic 🤢 environment i removed him from. which is huge, he was having a LOT of issues due to that, 😺 loves that i clean the litter box every 5-9 days (if i can smell it, if he complains, i scoop it) now
not only that, but 😺has all sorts of: toys, cat nips (theres like 6 varieties?!?!), treats (wet & dry), beds, blankets, hidey-holes, tunnels, and [human] friends who love on and help me take care of 😺 if im unable. 😺 even gets supervised outside time once or twice a week (in a backpack or on a leash), which they obvs goes fuckin nuts for!
all in all, dont worry, 😺 is very loved and cared for to the point where 😺 (10ish yrs) acts like youngin now... i just still feel guilty 😭 and had to tell someone other than my therapist
.
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On a spectrum from straight to absolutely gay, where do you stand? -Tired ADHD
id say like. if it was a line with straight at one end and gay at the other, id be 3/4 down the line
i think my sexuality fits more in line with the omni label? but i identify more with the pan one. i think i have underlying preferences for gender that i dont necessarily realize, but if i were to list it out itd be like
romantically, i think id be the most attracted to (in this order - on a gender basis only)
trans mascs
trans fems
cis women
cis men
but sexually (sexual in a broad term - im on the ace spectrum) itd be more like
cis women
trans mascs
trans fema
cis men
but thats like. if i was dating anybody and had to think about a gender i found the most attractive. in reality when im looking for a romantic partner (which i dont actively do - i dont think ive actively sought out anyone to date) its 100% based on their personality. i think their gender really only comes into play in my mind when my insecurities creep in (the reason id be less likely to be sexual with a cis man is because i feel theyd be more judgemental about my body than someone whos afab or alao trans would). i also have to be really good friends with someone before any romantic feelings develop whatsoever
also im genderless which means i think regardless of whether or not i only liked one gender or multiple id still be a little gay either way
anyway my boyfriend would be all the way on the gay end of things lol @unoriginalgayboyalex
#ask#was this a longwinded answer for a relatively simple question?#yes#but idk#panromantic demisexual squad
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I just wanna say, DUDE. The majority of what I know about amrev comes from your blog. Your in-depth posts literally have me FOAMING AT THE MOUTHH I don't have much time to read longer books due to school but I wanna feed my obsession so do you have any books on the shorter side or some websites/archives I can research/read a bit quicker? If not it's totally fine.
Also off topic but I'm loving "It Began About Dusk" on AO3 <3
OH MY GOD THE FLATTERY‼️‼️‼️ you’re making me blush here anon. im so glad that you find my posts helpful!!! AND IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY FICS i have a chapter of it began about dusk in the drafts rn so you’ll get more content soon
now this is a tricky question because im absolutely insane and ive barely ever read short books. right now im reading His Excellency by Joseph J Ellis and i recommend it!! its only around 2-300 pages which is the shortest history book ive got VSJWBW primary sources can be really good to get in book form, things like Common Sense by Thomas Paine, Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior (Washington’s rule book), and Memoir of Lieut. Col. Tench Tilghman, Secretary and aid to Washington are all primary sources i have on my shelf that are short and sweet.
i also have Hercules Mulligan by Micheal J. Obrien which i haven’t read but is VERY small. there is also James Monroe by Gary Hart which is short but i have not finished (i dont even truly remember reading it but i annotated part of it apparently), The Drillmaster of Valley Forge by Paul Lockhart is a little longer than those others, but still isn’t chernow levels of wrong, but i also haven’t read that one. Thomas Jefferson and the Tripoli Pirates by Brian Kilmeade and Don Yaeger isn’t the most serious history book, but it is pretty good and an easy read.
as for secondary source websites, start with encyclopedias ie Britannica, which post short articles on different historical figures and events that give you the overview. from there im gonna point you to the National Park Service. this is the best thing the US government has ever made for researchers. this is all your battlefields, winter encampments, historical reproductions, and former capitals. also check out private residences turned museums, such as Mount Vernon, Monticello, and Schuyler Mansion. these institutions have an abundance of easily accessible information on more than just the people who lived there.
now the Library of Congress was a good decision on Jefferson’s part, but it can be inaccessible if you don’t know how to use it well because their website is one of my least favorite things about being alive. so instead, i recommend using Founders Online for any primary source regarding the founding fathers or amrev figures. the Washington Papers are filled to the brim with almost everything that went out of headquarters during all 8 years of the war. founders online is the shit
all of these websites i’ve mentioned are free to access, because i do not pay money on any research tools besides books out of spite for late stage capitalism. also any primary source is 100% accessible online. that includes memoirs and court transcripts, which can be very helpful
also i really do recommend watching documentaries and informational videos on the subjects you’re interested in while doing work or other things if you’re someone who does that (ik some people don’t have background noise but im just assuming you’re as neurodivergent as i am) because you can absorb just a little of that information and it being about a subject of interest can make academics seem a little less miserable!
i hope this is helpful and if you have absolutely any further questions, feel free to ask. i know im very privileged to have the time and resources to read long ass books, which is why i very freely share the information i absorb with the public bc i believe education should never be gatekept by anyone. so if you have any questions, im happy to research them for you, or at least point you in the right direction. love ya!!
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Tips for sharing your ao3 fanfic with the world
Part 1: ao3 mechanics
So you wrote a fanfic. Or made some fanart. And you want to post it on Ao3 and you want people to see it and read it, and maybe kudos/comment, and maybe even read your other stuff too. What do you do?
(This is kinda qsmp specific but can be applied to any fandom if you want. This is specifically to explain what Ive found to be the best ways to share your fic with people, so no info on archive warnings, ao3 rules/guidelines, etc)
Let's assume you're starting from 0. No subscriptions, you don't have fandom friends to boost ur numbers, nil. There are 3 main ways that someone will see your fic: in tags, on your user page, and linked on another website.
Tags
Tags are essential but it is possible to both under and over utilize them and both can affect your reach. People tend to avoid fics with 100 tags that take up their entire screen, or fics that have like 2 tags where they don't know what's going to happen in there.
Popular tags get more traffic but people tend to be more picky: when you're looking in a tag with 15 fics, you may as well read them all even if it doesn't sound like exactly your thing. In a tag with 1500, you're a lot less likely to give every new fic a chance. If you only tag with fandom, character, and pairings, people may skip over since they don't know what they're getting into. That's why more specific tags are important.
If you have too many tags, such that they take up an entire phone screen or more, that may be a turnoff to some people. If you don't know where to start, choose your tags like this:
Fandom
Main characters (I go by "do they have more than one speaking role)
Main pairings (if a ship is mentioned in the background like once, I tend to not tag it)
Tone/genre (angst, fluff, smut, crack, etc)
Situation (café au, canon compliant, fix it fic, prison, pwp, etc)
Maybe a funny custom tag (eg "don't ask me how they got in prison ok just go with it")
Now when people are searching through bigger tags they can find yours more easily: in the qsmp tag, an angsty prison fic, with fitpac as the main pairing. That narrows it down a lot more than just using general tags.
Although ao3 does include people's real names in their character tags, it doesn't have to be this way. When entering a character or relationship tag, write it out the way you prefer and hit enter. It will still (eventually (ty tag wranglers)) be included in that main character tag, but it will not be displayed with their full name. I usually do something like FitMC (QSMP). Note that capitalization depends on the very first person to use that exact tag. If typing FitMC changes to fitmc every time you post, that's why. This same principle works for relationship tags as well.
User page:
The second way ppl might find your fics is via your user page.
A quick authors note at the end of your fic like "don't forget to check out my other works!" (and maybe even a link to one) can help you share your Fics with more people.
"But lev!" I hear you cry. "This is my first fic! Why would anyone visit my user page at all?"
Well, although ao3 is not specifically a social media, there is one place where users interact: comment sections.
"Uh, lev, I'm not going to go self promote in other people's fics?" I hear you say. Well first of all, thank GOD, and second of all, you don't have to.
When you're reading, esp in the fandom you write for, leave comments! Compliment people, give second kudos, point out lines you love and moments that move you. Fandom is a community and by participating positively in that community, the more likely people will engage positively with you in return. I've found some great authors just by looking in the comments on my own fics.
Linked on other websites:
The third main way ppl might find your fic is via links on other websites. As much as it is disrespectful to self promote in other people's spaces, don't let those feelings follow you to your own space. Your own account or blog is the PERFECT place to self promote. Post a link to your fic! Post MANY links to your fic! (over time, perhaps) Tag for qsmp fic, fic recs, pairing, and characters. You can also use a personal tag (mine is #levlies fic)
People might just scroll by a link, so make sure to add something to let people know that oh, this might be something they'd like to read. A short excerpt, a tag list, or a summary can all be good options although if it's getting to be long, consider paring down or adding a readmore.
If you're part of fandom discords that have a channel for fanfic or for self promo, don't hesitate to send a link there as well.
If you keep promoting your fics, people who like your fics will be more likely to stick around to see when new updates are posted. You can even make some friends!
*****
Part 2 will be about summaries and authors notes. Part 3 will be about comments. I'll edit this later to link them (or follow me 😶)
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SPOILERS
Bad Batch Season 3 Episode 5(?) (I think?) Thoughts
Well, one big one:
HAHAHAhahahahaHHAHAHAHAHA
And the little ones:
I have been waiting for Omega to pull the age card since season 1 -- actually since before I really knew what the newest Star Wars Baby's name actually was. This was great and I want Hunter to realize it's coming for him next
I haven't stopped laughing about the "moment of silence for our fallen brother" since I saw it. Someone: *mentions Tech* Every single clone in the room: *pledge of Allegiance moment*
WHY IS CROSSHAIR STILL WEARING THE JACKET
WHY IS HE STILL WEARING THE JACKET ON A BEACH IN FULL SUNLIGHT
Crosshair is 100% the angsty sullen goth vampire hissing like he's been hit with holy water in Hawaiian environments with kind people chasing after him bearing fruit and love that I knew he would be
Crosshair: spends like two weeks on Pabu Crosshair: I can't take it anymore! UGH SUNLIGHT *drags the entire Batch to freaking Barton IV* ah, home sweet murder home. the last place I had a really good angst before my older sister found me and dragged me home by the ear. fond memories
Echo, you're a disgrace but also somehow still the only sane one here
Do datapads just not need to ever charge in Star Wars??
Omega: oh yah I have a sister did you know Echo: okay, we don't have time to unpack all that
Where is the heck is Phee? Is she just...off dismembering Cid or something?
Crosshair: "I know a place" Hunter: "YOU'RE NOT TELLING US EVERYTHING ABOUT IT" Crosshair: "I ALREADY KILLED EVERYTHING DANGEROUS HERE what do you WANT FROM ME" *Dune 2021 erupts from underneath the base* Crosshair: .... Crosshair: huh. guess Mayday forgot to mention that particular natural feature. My bad y'all
GUYS. WE NEVER TURN OFF THE MYSTERIOUS PERIMETER SENSORS. IDIOTS KNOW THIS. DID WE LEARN NOTHING FROM THE KRYKNA INCIDENTS I, II, and III
Crosshair looking at Batcher: ah, the new and improved Hunter. You're my favorite. We'll try to save you Hunter but if it gets too inconvenient I'll be over there taking a nap Hunter, standing right there: hey
Congratulations Batcher I guess you're his service animal now
Hunter: *sneaks up behind Crosshair stacking random regs' helmets one by one on a crate* Hunter: *considering Crosshair's past track record with regs, the Empire, and loyalty* so, like...did he kill these guys, or...? Hunter:...do I want to know? Hunter: *does a 180* NOPE
Hunter: "dID yOu tHiNK we wErE juST gOinG tO tAkE yOu bAcK witHoUT aSkIng aNy quEsTiONs???" Hunter, you beloved moron. You DID just take him back without asking any questions. To your super secret summer home no less. And let him spend two whole weeks chilling on a beach before it occurred to you to do anything other than stare at him with complete lack of subtlety from the top of a cliff
Why were you stalking him from the top of a cliff Hunter
Crosshair, he was silhouetted against the sun like 100 feet away with an almost seven foot dude right next to him. There was no hiding going on here. At all. Detecting him is not a super sniper skill. If you HADN'T seen that, we'd have a problem
Crosshair: hey yeah guys so this is clearly a Very Important Place to me that I will proceed to tell you Absolutely Nothing About. BTW don't land there Echo, there's a corpse in the middle of the landing pad somewhere. Possibly two if they never bothered picking up Nolan Echo:... Echo, 1000000% done with this Batch's drama: at least there's no blood this time
"I've made mistakes" AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *smash cuts to using flamethrower on civilians* *shooting Wrecker* *"aim for the kid!"* *nearly dropping Tech off an ion engine* *trying to burn them all alive in an ion engine* *shooting at them* *kidnapping Hunter* *kidnapping all of them* *getting them trapped on Kamino while it SINKS* *shooting pretty much everybody at some point* *plan 88 but no context!* AHAHAHAHAHAHA this is my new favorite line. Hunter should get him a T-shirt that says that to replace that awful hip pocket thing
Wrecker getting genre-aware
Omega: "I told you to TALK to him not ARGUE with him" Crosshair, sulkily: "He STARTED IT" EDIT: 23. IF I SEE ONE MORE ICE VULTURE IN THIS HOUSE
#star wars#the bad batch#bad batch season 3#spoilers#the bad batch spoilers#bad batch season 3 spoilers#mywildernesspost
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The finishing of this fanfic has left me with some pretty mixed emotions. On the one hand, I dont want it to end. It's such an incredible piece of work and even though I finally committed to reading it a few weeks ago, it already feels like such a significant part of my life. On the other hand, I'm a little glad that it's over. FAR from the sense it was bad (I'll steal your liver if thats how you interpret it) but moreso in the sense that it was like a good crying session. It's something that a lot of us (or I assume a lot of us) typically want to avoid even though we know its good for us, and satisfying after the fact. It's like catharsis in a way. Endings aren't always a great feeling in the moment, but it's something that we can look back on with a fondness.
I'm so glad I found this work. I'm being completely serious when I say that this fanfic, and the other content you make, has changed my life for the better. Its helped me reconnect with that love I have for creativity after nearly a decade of not making anything even though I wanted to. It's helped pulled me out of a few ruts of depression. It's helped me realize that I'm not actually emotionally stunted (per my own conclusions) and be more willing to cry instead of burying those feelings. In the past I would just, kill these kinda thoughts before they got far because of how much I wanted to avoid crying. Much less actually writing them down, or express them to someone else. But now, I've been crying the whole time I write this, and for the first time in, I think ever, I'm okay with that. I know we don't actually know each other, but you've genuinely helped me become a better person with the things you make. Thank you so much for everything you've done Sofie. hey look! I got your name right!
But enough about me. I feel like it's getting indulgent at this point. (I've gotten dehydrated with how much ive cried writing this and from what I can tell, you cry a lot more than I do. So go drink some water first, and then) I wanna hear your thoughts. What are your thoughts and feelings about your work being finished? Do you have plans to take a break from creative endevors for a while, or are you gonna keep going? Are you going to be expanding more on this and other au's, different fanworks or move into something completely your own? Whatever the case may be, I'm excited to see what more you are going to come up with!
From the bottom of my heart, and on behalf of everyone else, Thank you for everything.
It's so surreal to have posted that final chapter. I finished the first draft almost 100 days ago exactly, and I spent a number of days after completing it kind of adrift. I'd go to my computer every morning like I had during the month prior and sit down, ready to write, only to remember that I was actually supposed to be taking a break before I made the final edits. It didn't click in my head that I had actually done it… until a couple weeks later when it hit me like a truck that I had an entire completed manuscript sitting in my Google Docs. I think I was making myself lunch at that moment, and I had to bolt to lie down on the floor and put my legs up against the wall because I was ready to pass out at the realization.
This feels pretty similar. For me, The Present is a Gift— the main fanfic, at least— was finished in mid-January. But the process of uploading it and agonizing over what people thought of every passing update wouldn't be formally done until about 3 months later. It still hasn't clicked in my head that I won't be posting a new update once Tuesday rolls around.
On the subject of taking a break— I've actually been taking a break, at least partway! I've barely written anything after I finished TPiaG's first draft, and I haven't drawn much “serious” art, for lack of a better word, since I started my blog. I've still been making things, yes, but scattered oneshots and sketchy pieces without solid lineart are not my typical fare. I'm usually a lot more “exact” with what I make— words fail me here— I hope I'm not being too vague! I might take a brief break as I finish up the winter semester, but that would be less a break from creating and more of an “OH MY WORD I NEED TO FOCUS ON NOTHING BUT PASSING THESE COURSES” kinda thing.
TPiaG (along with its derivative AUs) is still very much a living project to me— there's a lot more stories the characters have in them, even if I struggle to envision a full-on sequel. I'm absolutely going to answer the asks relating to it that I've received over the months along with any I continue to receive, and if I get any ideas for comics or oneshots here and there, I'll make them. As for what's officially next up on the Sincerely Sofie menu, I'm planning to make a visual novel that's a lot more meaty than the last one I made. I'm not sure if it will be original or based on TPiaG— but a visual novel is the medium I'm planning on!
I'm so overwhelmed by your kindness. I truly don't have any words. This project started off as something private to help distract me from a depressive episode and to process trauma, and it's become so much more. I'm so glad it was able to help you. Catharsis was the keyword for TPiaG— I wanted it to uproot difficult emotions and help people start to heal from them, but I never dreamed it would really help anyone but myself. So to hear it was able to provide you with that is unbelievably meaningful to me.
I gave myself the goal somewhat recently to let myself cry whenever the urge strikes me. I used to go months without crying, and whenever I did shed tears, it was alone in my room while muffling the few sounds I accidentally let slip. I'm a natural crybaby, but I had schooled myself into thinking for a number of reasons that it was bad to cry— that it was selfish, or attention-seeking, or weak— so I've been trying to reclaim my teary-eyed identity. It's been difficult, but it's so freeing to let myself feel things fully. All of this is to say: let the tears fall. I've helped more people by crying than my stoicism ever did.
Thanks again. I can't properly word my gratitude, but know that it's overwhelming :,>
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honestly my biggest wonder about yesterdays drama was like... who even was that? not the person being called out, but the one calling them out. like, its one thing to make a throwaway to make a callout post, but to go on anon and try to pull unrelated people into it? this was clearly someone still in the taleblr server since they had screenshots from literally the same day in their callout
this isnt me taking sides because genuinely i have more important things to worry about than all that, but its different when it comes to this person because like... i just thought yall were different than that? maybe we all dont totally consider eachother friends entirely but i liked to think we were all somewhere around there for the most part
theres only so many of us and we all try to stay chill (to more or less success) because like... theres probably less than 100 of us left, and we're all adults by now as far as i know, and i know age doesnt really equal maturity, but its just so immature to try and stir drama by messaging unrelated parties.
honestly even if the person told me in private who they were its not like id make shit worse by posting about them or something because, again, i have bigger things to worry about, im just curious at this point. its not even an obligation for them to come forward, im just admitting that im curious.
if anything all i have to say is be the bigger person and block and move on when you dont like someone or something someone did. i get that you saw stuff that you found gross and you wanted everyone to feel the same way you did, but the rest of us just want to live our lives. plus i think the people that were messaged arent even in the discord so it was honestly even weirder to do that
ive had my fair share of seeing things that made me feel gross to see or read or know about, like, seriously i found out one of my friends was a pedo last year (and i promptly blocked the cunt). but it doesnt do anything to pull other people into the mess and try to start shit.
basically, just be more mature, cause i know yall are better than that. you dont have to read fics that you dont like, and you dont have to interact with people you dont like. your online experience is yours and the best option is always to block and move on. ive had my fair share of drama, and all it does is ruin peoples days, and not much else.
my biggest point, honestly, is that this is such a small fandom and i dont want whats left to come crashing down because some drama makes everyone left hate it here. i dont care whos right or wrong because literally whatever its internet drama, i just dont want this community to die out.
#taleblr#my post#plus about my ex-friend... im just satisfied in knowing theyre gross and insufferable enough that theyre not gonna have much luck#with relationships of any kind unless they make drastic drastic changes to themselves and their life.#and no i havent read the fic in question here because it just didnt sound like my kind of thing#and im definitely not proship but i seriously think its better to just move on#my thing is like... i dont want people writing about certain topics but i also know that i cant stop people#i dont like things that have been done on either side here which is why im not taking sides#you could argue im an unrelated party but i at least talked to the person a little bit yesterday in the server#i checked up on them after cause i was like 'oh this person i was talking to got banned i wonder what the deal was and if theyre ok'#because from our convo in the server they seemed nice even if they were a bit unknowing of the rules it seemed#and they basically just told me they wanted everyone to leave them alone. so yeah#ill leave them alone and everyone else should too and its just better for everyone to move on#im not going to make any more posts about this after mind you. i dont have asks or submissions on so the only way to contact me#is through my messages if anyone feels like it#or i guess if youre in the discord you could DM me on there too#but otherwise im not going to make any more posts because i just wanted to get this out of the way and move on with my day#i have a huge thing happening later and i dont need this weighing on my mind for it#just be more mature. just block and move on. dont be that guy that tries to bring other people into it that had nothing to do with it#and dont try to make this everyone elses problem#youre allowed to feel disgusted and angry or whatever you might be feeling. but dont make it everyone elses problem#also no i couldnt report my ex-friend because i didnt have the info and also i didnt have evidence more than them admitting to thoughts#and people cant be arrested for thoughts alone as much as you might wish they could#and also they werent ashamed of these thoughts which is why they were disgusting. they only hid them because they knew we would be#disgusted because were normal people. so anyway.#long post
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How would you rewrite Honest Hearts?
ive actually thought about this more after my last post on this!! even though i did say it's not worth rewriting or fixing or whatever.
feel free to critique. i used this as a brainstorming exercise for a rough outline so not everything is fleshed out. i tried to focus on the story rather than the characters.
caesar has just found out that joshua graham is still alive and the legion is in the process of destroying/taking over new canaan.
the new canaanites and white legs have a history of conflict before the start of honest hearts. the two tribes are constantly at each other’s throats. the new canaanites are known instigators of violence but maintain an ‘innocent’ image and good relations with other traders and settlements, allowing them get away with a lot. they’ve also painted a very negative image of the white legs, labeling them as murderers and criminals.
though, the new canaanites have bit of a reputation - they are an armed militia. no one wants to mess with them. new canaan received a g.e.c.k. and they're more advanced than the settlements around them. (inb4 but how does legion takes over - vulpes and other legion spies found their weak spots or something idk, also they didnt find it viable to go after graham right away since they were still recovering from their loss at hoover dam).
honest hearts takes place four years after the first battle of hoover dam. joshua is in his redemption era. he preaches about his change but you can still see that he craves violence and revegeance. the new canaanites are pushing him towards the violent option, while daniel, the contrarian, wants to protect their ‘innocence’. choosing daniel's path means the new canaanites permanently leave new canaan.
meanwhile, the white legs’ leader sees flaws in caesar’s plans and is wary of their allegiance. but, they want the new canaanites gone, and view the legion as their only hope. the new canaanites have caused trouble for the white legs for almost 100 years, and they will continue to do so.
this gives agency to both the white legs and the new canaanites, preventing joshua graham and daniel from playing the white savior. the white legs are no longer ‘lol violent!!!’, unless you buy into the new canaanites stories. the legion are just kinda chillin.
the story would end in one of three ways: hunt down and kill joshua graham, kill the leader of the new canaanites, or take the pacifist option. killing the leaders would destroy morale. this avoids having to kill all faction members, preventing your computer or xbox 360 from stuttering at 10fps. also, less faction members to kill = you can give the characters their accurate races and givd them voice lines since that was an issue during development.
obviously, you would have to change joshua graham and ulysses’ stories a bit for this to work. i like that joshua graham’s faith strengthens through his suffering. i want to keep that aspect since it's very important to his character. but there should be a point in the story where you can convince him of how his flawed his logic is and how purposely cherrypicking and twisting God's words for his own benefit. or maybe he realizes it on his own. either way, he still sides with the new canaanites because that's his family. he will not betray them.
then, there is also the issue that by doing whatever I just typed out, you remove joshua graham's status as a mythological being, which is another important aspect of his character. i wouldn't want to get rid of that but i havent thought that out yet. so. anyways.
pairing up with the new canaanites would be the least favorable option. it doesn’t lead to the best outcome. maybe you cement joshua graham's status as a mythological figure if you chose this route. same with the pacifist route. next time, the new canaanites will not run away.
i imagine if you help the new canaanites, it would have a huge, negative impact on your reputation with the legion. likewise, if you side with the white legs, it would have a huge, negative impact on your reputation with the ncr.
i would remove the sorrows and dead horses to focus on one group, the white legs. legion has extra content. everyone is happy....? wait. no. i forgot about randall clark!!! never mind.
#fallout#again#just spitballing#I'm putting all these disclaimers here because this is literally a first draft of ideas lol#but I think it's interesting nonetheless#though#figuring out how joshua and ulysses fit into this story will make everything click#I think#I think a lot#and ramble
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