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luckydoeslanguage · 6 months ago

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🎏Immersion, its quirks, and tips for language learning this way!

its the 5th of May, so happy children's day! �� I got a question in one of my posts asking for some advice on immersion learning! i thought it would be a good opportunity to talk about immersion in general, my current study(?) routine and perhaps give some useful advice! As the name suggests, Immersion language learning is done primarily by consuming media in your target language. Immersion can seem super intimidating to us learners, mostly cause we can't understand most of the stuff available to us. But! its not impossible to start out using immersion right out of the gate. i think people tend to get scared or go "I'll immerse when i get better at my TL!" But the truth of the matter is, your not going to get used to, or better at your target language unless you consume actual content. (in my opinion.)

Honestly, a lot of immersion learning is being able to tolerate that i probably wont understand everything right away. I will someday, but for now i have to be comfortable with not understanding a lot. which is okay! So, what is my current study routine?

right now, my routine consists of:

doing vocabulary cards on Anki from a premade anki deck.

playing about an hour of Animal crossing everyday

watching 1 - 3 episodes of an anime

watching Youtube videos

weekly (ish) grammar done by reading Imabi, and watching Cure Dolly videos on Youtube.

The bread and butter of my routine is learning vocab, and occasional grammar studies. I'm using the core2k/6k deck. which as the name implies, is an optimized vocab deck that contains the most common 6k JP vocabulary. i currently take 5 new vocab cards a day, and try to get my reviews in everyday. my anki deck has contributed a lot to me being able to immerse so early in my language journey. learning and then reviewing new words everyday lets me recognize words in my immersion. As time has gone on, i can recognize more and more words, and even some words I haven't encountered yet in my deck. Immersion, while still uncomfortable, (especially with complex media) is the other side of the coin. i try to spend double the time i spend on anki, immersing. Mostly because i enjoy what I'm immersing in, but also because i get more out of it the more time i spend immersing.

"that's all well and good Lucky, but what advice would you give to someone who wants to learn this way?"

Well! first of all, and this is very important:

Be comfortable with ambiguity. you may not be able to understand some, or maybe most of the thing you are immersing in. that's okay! Your brain is already looking for patterns to see in your TL, and is growing more accustomed to it. I got a lot of headaches in the beginning, i still do actually. but i know that's my brain working hard! (take a break if you get a headache!!)

Second, and probably just as important:

Follow your interests. make immersion fun! whats the point of immersing if its torturous?! I'm a lot more likely to continue immersing in something if i actually enjoy it. there are a lot of easier anime to immerse in, but if I'm not having fun, I'm not going to learn anything. you should do the same! even if its too difficult to understand. I'm currently watching someone on YouTube play a dating sim, and even though its waaaay above my skill level, I'm really enjoying myself watching it! I've even recognized some words i know. whole sentences, even.

Third:

Be Consistent! This is probably advice you've already heard, but it bears repeating! even if you do something small like listening to a song in your TL, that's immersion babyy :) consistency is key, above all.

Lastly: Track your Immersion. a problem with immersion is it can feel like you are going nowhere. tracking how much time you spend doing an activity, (watching videos, reading, etc) is a great way to make immersion more tangible. lots of people reccomend toggl, but i personally use polylogger. its built with language learners in mind, and is stupidly easy to use. i also keep personal logs in an online diary, as well as here on my blog to measure my progress. it helps!

alright, i think thats everything i have to say for now! if you've made it to the end of this long post, hello! and thank you <3 hope you've had a good day so far! I will leave you with some links to more reading on the subject under the cut, they go into more detail than i have here.

take care for now! またね！

this article by Refold about tolerating ambiguity:

The Moe ways guide to immersion:

Making the leap to Immersion, Video by Cure Dolly:

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gffa · 5 days ago

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I have been Processing My Feelings mostly through sleeping a lot (thanks, shark week), cleaning (so much stuff to be done, especially when you're on a budget so everything takes twice as much work), playing Pokemon Go (I SAW AN ARTICUNO, but it fled on me ): but that's okay, I know it only has like a 3% chance to get it, and if I saw one, maybe I'll see another sometime), and binging TV shows/YouTube videos. TV SHOWS THAT I HAVE HAD THOUGHTS ON: - FROM, season 3: I think it might have been a mistake to watch it week to week, because I've watched seven episodes now and it feels like hardly anything has happened this season, like, you only have ten episodes and the wait between seasons is so long! Get back to moving the plot forward! But a lot of people said the same thing about s2 and I found that one to move along great--but I binged the whole thing, so the pacing probably seemed better. I'm still invested, some emotional stuff has happened this season, but I want more answers/plot already!!!! - SHRINKING, season 2: Just as much of a comfort watch as the first season, still pulling a bunch of laughs out of me. The cast is incredible, the writing is funny (I'm a sucker for a Bill Lawrence show, though), and I have had genuine emotional reactions to some of the storylines this season, because I have come to care about the characters. It can be a light watch most of the time, one to put on when I want something to laugh at, but it can pack a punch in the way it needs to. - ENGLISH TEACHER: I think every episode got me to laugh at least once, most of them got me to laugh out loud multiple times. Some people are going to find it kind of preachy or tryhard, but I felt like it was trying to take an honest look at this one person's attempts to navigate the difficult societal elements at play (being gay in your 30s, no longer a kid, not a boomer, but not always seeing eye-to-eye with where the younger generation is, wanting to do the right thing versus not always knowing what that is, trying to be empathetic while being genuine, etc.), and if nothing else it got me with the sideswipe at Tumblr. That hurt, you guys, but also LOL. - 9-1-1, season 8: Still very much worth watching (especially every time Eddie is a hot mess and kind of a bitch, I've never loved him more), but I did not enjoy the Councilwoman Ortiz storyline (it felt more mean-spirited than I wanted) and I'm not looking forward to catching up on this week's episode (I've heard some of what happens), but overall, it's still a comfort place for batshit storylines. BEENADO WAS HILARIOUS, everything about Athena on the plane was fun (and less frustrating than her usual cop storylines, I love you, girl, but oh my god), and I even liked the Gerrard storyline by the end. Next to catch up on: Abbot Elementary, binge Squid Game s2 when it comes out, and finally watch The Devil Judge. (Watch, I'll have my schedule all planned out and then probably throw it out the window for Grotesquerie or something, SIGH.) Any other suggestions for comfort shows or just really bingeable recent shows or just tell me what you're watching, so that I can keep my brain off the doomscrolling track!

#lumi.txt #tv recs

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a-doubleh-x · 7 months ago

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Why I like Chaggie

Hey! My last casual ship review did pretty well, so here I am with another! Needless to say, but thank you all for the interactions, I appreciate it very much 🥰

Last time I talked about Charlastor, a notorious controversial ship and today I'll talk about a surprisingly controversial ship: Chaggie. Why do people dislike this ship? I'll go a bit into it on the second half of this post, but first I'll talk on the positive I see in this cute couple.

First of all, as a guy in his late twenties who's been on at least one relationship, I will say that I appreciate a relation that's mostly based on comfort and support. Some people might think that's boring or not quite the basis of romance, but I think quite the opposite. Johnathan Decker, a licensed couples therapist on youtube (you might know him from Cinema Therapy) often talks about how safety and mutual understanding are the basis of any lasting relationship.

At the start of the Amazon series, Charlie and Vaggie have been together for 3 years, which is evident in many of their day to day interactions. They're comfortable with each other, they rely on each other and best of all, they still coo every now and then over how adorable the other is.

That is not to say the relationship is without conflict, which in my opinion as a writer it's the lifeblood of any good story. Vaggie is clearly quite codependent of Charlie, which is why a large portion of her self worth is based on being useful to her. However, I think the two of them do a decent job of talking through the problems this brings sometimes, such as episode 3.

I think it's cool that the relationship seems to work despite their rocky moments. Charlie most likely thinks a person like Vaggie is a breath of fresh air in Hell, she's selfless, loyal and dedicated. That's probably the reason why she has so much patience with her, a feeling that I'm certain is mutual. Vaggie is clearly very aware of how silly and idealistic Charlie is, in fact she often tries to nudge her to be careful with her attitude. And even though she may not agree with everything, she still always supports her without appearing judgemental, which I think speaks volumes of her character.

Now, let's talk about the shortcomings in the face of the audience. Some people think there's not enough substance in canon to be sold on the couple, which I think is a valid opinion. Some people argue that Chaggie's relationship is boring and not quite as interesting to watch as Charlastor, which I don't entirely agree with. Some people plain dislike or hate Vaggie because they think she's just a naggy chick who is an awful partner to Charlie in every way, which I *definitely* don't agree with.

My opinion falls in a more moderate standpoint. I think, even in the series, their relationship isn't boring, but it could've been presented better. While I said earlier that I think conflict is good in a story, I think a problem in the series that's probably unintentional is that most of the story beats with Charlie and Vaggie are negative.

In episode 3, they have a fight over their lack of communication. In episode 6, Vaggie puts her own secret status as a fallen angel over Charlie, which harms her later. And in episode 7, Charlie spends most of the episode mad at Vaggie and they make up offscreen, which is something unilaterally most fans believe was a mistake.

To the showrunner's credit, there are some positive major story beats. There's Charlie's trust fall on Vaggie, which was cute. There's their beautiful duet in episode 8. And there's them fighting alongside each other in the final battle.

Unfortunately, the fact their arc is a bit wonky and doesn't have a proper buildup makes it so that the climax (the duet) may feel a bit unearned. I don't want to make this whole post about the series because I could spend all day talking about it, so I'll just say for now that i underdtand why some people aren't sold on the ship.

I will say. Some fans have some very beautiful, gorgeous pictures of this ship. There's this great comic made by squids-and-fruitcake that's been running around about Charlie giving Vaggie a gift for Christmas (here's a youtube link in case you want to watch a dub, I couldn't find the original)

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I think it's a great example of why this relationship works: they love each other. They may not completely understand each other's circumstances, but they try every day and are still together because of their mutual effort.

Charlie herself, as Hell's number 1 laughingstock can really use the support and the fact that Vaggie supports her even though she doesn't have all the answers means a lot to her. She brings her stability, peace and affection, all things she lacked until she met her.

Vaggie, on the other hand, who was plunged against her will into a pit of violence and cynicism also needs Charlie's perspective. She loves the fact that she cares about something bigger than herself, that she wants to help damned people like her, which given her circumstances I think it's something she also needs in a fundamental level.

That haz bin my review for today! What do you think? Do you like Chaggie? Do you think it could've been written better? What's your favorite interaction between them? Let me hear your thoughts! It's been fun to put my thoughts down for casual reviews, I hadn't done it before, so expect more in the future while I'm still working on the next chapter of my fanfic.

I think I already have an idea about what my next Hazbin post is going to be about (hint: it has to do with Angel Dust). Thank you again for all the love, hope to see you all soon!

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #chaggie #Youtube

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elluvians · 6 months ago

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Hey! I got a question and you're the first person I thought to ask since you're a huge Dragon Age fan. I just bought the games to play for the first time and I was thinking of recording it for my youtube channel as a preparation for Dreadwolf (I have a small channel with only one video from a year ago 😂). Do you think a series of each game is something people would be inerested in? Aaaand if you could give me some non-spoilery tips about the games (I'm going in mostly blind besides who I plan to romance in each game 😅)

Welcome to Dragon Age Hell (affectionately)!

I think people would definitely be interested in watching your playthroughs! I watched some people playing DA games on YT and they always had a lot of people commenting and engaging.

As for the tips/more info on the games:

DAO came out in 2009 so be prepared for a pretty dated gameplay. Many people say it's their favourite games and it is really good but it's also old :D There are also 2 sections that can be pretty tedious but I would recommend to actually play them to get the full experience. There are shortcut mods for them though, in case you want to skip them.

DA2 - has some of the best characters and interactions but the game had lots of problems during (extremely short) development and it looks and feels pretty rushed. But seriously it has an amazing story. I think I played it even more than Origins.

Dragon Age Inquisition - I'm pretty biased here because it's my ultimate comfort game. The best advice I can give is don't feel like you need to stay in Hinterlands forever lol :D It's the first big location and there's lot of side quests and walking around so it can be overwhelming and you can feel stuck. So once you unlock new locations you can go there, you won't be locked out of any of the main ones until pretty much the end so you can always go back. Also if you have it definitely play Trespasser DLC! It's crazy good and packed with lore. Same for The Descent. And Jaws of Hakkon is also really good!

I hope you'll enjoy the games and if you have any questions feel free to ask! ❤️

There are also novels and comics available to read. And here's a link to a post with all the free stories if you'd like to read them as well!

#answered #stupid-tes-nerd

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thevalleyoftriumph · 3 months ago

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hi!! saw your post of DID Chosen (am I allowed to call it that??) and I have been curious ever since, apologies if any of these has been asked before https://www.tumblr.com/thevalleyoftriumph/757624875107090432/so-um-for-those-who-arent-in-the-ava-community?source=share ^ Post I'm referring to just in case What are your characterisations of Chosen, Beast and Killer like? Going off of Killer not recognising Dark in the post, it was Chosen fronting in AVA3 yes? Who was fronting during showdown? Going once again off the post Beast is non-verbal/ mute/ straight up doesn't know how to talk, is that why he resorted immediately to violence upon returning from Alans PC? Assuming that was Beast Was Chosen co-conscious during showdown? Simply watching as someone else used his hands to tear his best friend apart? Or did he come back to find his life destroyed, and best friend killed, with no idea how any of it happened Also, what are Chosen, Killer's and Beasts pronouns? I assume they differ from eachother. And are your Chosen and Dark siblings? Sorry I'm aware this is an insane amount of questions, apologies if it is overwhelming Final thing, all I know about DID is from DissociaDID (may be spelled wrong) on YouTube, and I have no idea how trustworthy of a source they are, nor have I watched them in years, so apologies if any of the terms/ information I have here is out of date or proven false Anyway, that's all, hope you have a good day :]

hi oh my god anon i love you. sorry i just really adore getting asked about stuff i love yapping and youve offered me a LOT to talk about, please expect a MASSIVE wall of text. like i mean it the wall is huge and took me like, an hour or two to type up. you opened the floodgates anon.

FIRST THINGS FIRST ☝ never apologize for being curious it is the most wonderous trait a person could have. i have spoken about some of these before but mostly in the replies or dms of people and thus it is perfectly okay by me to ask for me to repeat them here. secondly your questions are not at all overwhelming in fact i got very excited to answer once i realized how much youve asked. thirdly your phrasing is pretty accurate yes! ones you used are def pretty common, and i appreciate the willingness to be corrected - lots of phrases [though not specifically the ones you used, i mean more generally] are picked up and dropped by people for a whole variety of reasons ranging from comfort to accuracy to current knowledge, so being open to being corrected is a wonderful mindset to have when going into something youre unfamiliar with ! <3

anyhow, answers to the questions, numbered to each, under the cut ^_^ and just for ease im also going to actually type like a normal human being just this once lol. last warning here if you click "keep reading" youre in for a MASSIVE wall of rambling!

1: What are your characterisations of Chosen, Beast and Killer like?

I'd say my characterizations aren't anything too far from common interps, mostly regarding Chosen.

Chosen is a relatively soft spoken and monotone individual. He's prone to getting lost in thought a lot, especially when in conversation - he likes to think things through very much before speaking. A stick of few words, he likes being simple and blunt. He has a very hard time trusting people, but when he does, he trusts fully and deeply -- he is a very, very loyal person once that trust is earned. Even if someone he trusts does something to cause him to become upset with them, such as with Dark, he is willing to hear them out. Despite this, he's also very rash - much as he loathe to admit it. He may not speak without thinking, but he very much acts without thinking, sometimes even doing something without realizing it at first. This leads to a lot of things bad - such as him shoving Dark from the console in the flashback. He acts in ways he thinks he should, consciously or not. He's also got a bit of Dark's stubborness - once he sets his mind to something, it's a very difficult task to get him to back down.

Killer is, despite their name, very different from what you'd assume. They're a relatively happy person, all things considered, and despite having trust issues of their own, often tries to see the best in people. They're also a more ""casual"" fronter, bordering on co-host, as they usually end up in front for more minor things, or even just incidentally after they wake up. They're quick to adapt, usually masking as Chosen in these cases, but are equally quick to relax in safe environments and be more themselves. They're very talkative, and love learning about any and all topics that interest them. They also fidget a bunch - often with the ends of the body's scarf, or with their bracelet, gloves, belts, whatever is closest. Despite all this, they're also quite jumpy - they are primarily responsible for internal things, especially regarding their memories, and thus holds quite a few negative feelings and memories that they'd all rather not have. And yet, somehow despite all of that, they have a hard time with people. Like shown in the comic, Killer isn't always in front, and doesn't have access to nearly as many memories as you'd think for someone with their "role." In fact, they had no idea Dark existed until the very moment in that comic, which in my mind takes place years after Dark and Chosen ended up living together. How on earth they managed to go that long without meeting him, well your guess is as good as mine. I'd say it's a mix of good timing [or bad, depending on how you look at it] and generally "better" circumstances not requiring them to switch in as much as they previously had to.

Beast... Beast is a whole other can of worms, honestly. It's a general wildcard. The result of being treated inhumanely and without compassion, Beast is someone who is stuck in fight or flight mode for it's whole life -- and it's response is anything BUT flight. It is aggressive to anyone outside of the system, and anything it could see as a threat to their safety. Like I mentioned, it doesn't really speak - internally, it can't, and externally, it just forgets that the body isn't limited like it is, so it ends up silent. This leads to a lot of body language - it is incredibly expressive, and has a bit of a staring problem when it's not actively trying to maul something. Honestly if I drew sticks with eyes it'd totally do that thing that cat eyes do in the dark where it just looks at you super ominously from the shadows lol. Anyways, despite this, as I will always reiterate when talking about Beast's personality, it is not malicious. It is not evil, and it is not trying to hurt people on purpose. It is, first and foremost, protective and scared. It does not know HOW to calm down, or how to feel safe, because every time it's ever fronted, it has been faced with progressively worse and worse circumstances. It is determined and protective, and willing to go to great lengths to protect the system -- and perhaps, one day, if it can heal enough to trust others, it would do the same for them. If you thought Chosen was loyal, then you haven't seen Beast at its absolute best.

2: Going off of Killer not recognising Dark in the post, it was Chosen fronting in AVA3 yes? Who was fronting during showdown?

You'd be correct, for the most part! During the beginning of AVA3, when Chosen was still imprisoned as the ad-block, it was primarily Beast - thus, the chains on it's design, and its seeming unawareness of them. Then, once freed, Chosen had essentially force-fronted into co-front with Beast to fight his way out, eventually allowing Beast to sorta "pull back" out of front over the course of the episode - probably when Chosen and Dark team up. [And for clarification - when I mean "pull back," I mean sorta slowly being pulled from front in a switch. I'm not ever really sure how to describe what it feels like to slowly not front instead of being forcefully switched out, but this is how it makes the most sense to me. I'm sorry if it makes absolutely zero sense to anyone else lol]

As for who was fronting during Showdown, I'll admit that I haven't entirely decided. Initially for sure, during the flashback, it is 100% Chosen. Even during the early fight scenes it's primarily him - he's not being completely overpowered or even threatened with complete death [as, at the very least in my interp, Dark never intended to kill Chosen, just incapacitate so that he could go through with his plan. He only started striking to kill with the CG, but not Chosen - never Chosen.]

However, I'd say Chosen and his systemmates were, after a point, REALLY fucking blurry for a lot of that episode. Rapid switches that left them disoriented and dizzy and much slower to react than they'd usually be. When Chosen goes back to Alan's PC, that is when it's not necessarily unclear anymore. I'd say at that point particularly, Chosen has pulled away enough for the sorta blurry mess in front to be exclusively Beast and Killer, with Killer being busy masking as Chosen to get rid of the Virabot, but Beast being sorta hovering ominously over their shoulder internally thanks to the SEVERELY negative associations with the desktop. Killer's masking would probably have slipped a bit at seeing the CG, mostly out of personal shock at learning about them, but they would've left back to the Outernet before they could really think too hard about it.

The rest of the episode, especially when Chosen is seen overpowered by Virabots, is totally 100% Beast IMO. The situation of being contained, restricted, overpowered and in danger - life threatening to them, even if Dark never intended for it to be that way - it was much too similar to their early days on the desktop. Thus, Beast VERY solidly force-fronted and in doing so with taking complete ""control"" made it so neither Killer NOR Chosen were there for the ending of Showdown. A lot of the actions done once TSC came back were just done out of shock, and a very rare show of trust - TSC had shown Beast that they were willing to fight to protect them, collectively, even if it was really in response to their friends being harmed - protect one, protect them all, if that makes sense. TSC had removed the threat, and thus, Beast had sorta filed them away as one of the very few ""trustworthy"" sticks - even if it's not necessarily trust, it's the closest thing to it.

3: Going once again off the post Beast is non-verbal/ mute/ straight up doesn't know how to talk, is that why he resorted immediately to violence upon returning from Alans PC? Assuming that was Beast

Beast totally had a hand in it, yeah. Despite it and Killer being relatively equally "there" so to speak during the return to the PC in Showdown, Beast did have a MASSIVE influence on their collective actions. Killer fought because it knew it had to prevent bad things from happening, while Beast fought because it was the ONLY thing it knew to do to prevent bad things from getting WORSE. That is to say you're pretty spot on there lol

4: Was Chosen co-conscious during showdown? Simply watching as someone else used his hands to tear his best friend apart? Or did he come back to find his life destroyed, and best friend killed, with no idea how any of it happened

As briefly explained previously, Chosen wasn't the only fronter for a lot of it, and got completely booted out of co-consciousness after a point. Thus, while he knows logically that he fought with Dark, and when he DID front again, he could connect two-and-two together and realize that Dark got fucking murked, you're right to assume has remembers VERY little of the in-between and the specifics.

In fact, quite a few memories from even the co-conning were instead "given" to Beast and Killer. That's not exactly how it works but it's the best way I can describe it, based off my own experiences with co-conning with others -- sometimes you just don't end up getting the memories if there's multiple people in front, for one reason or another.

Anyhow, yeah, most memories of that day are kinda stuffed in the metaphorical closet. Chosen knows something happened between him confronting Dark and him ending up at home on the couch with a hole in the 2nd floor walls, but he just.. doesn't remember any of it. He can make the connections - he can look out the window and see the result of TSC's final blow to Dark from their house, after all. He can tell Dark isn't just hiding out somewhere. He's forgetful, not a fool. But he doesn't know what happened in the fight, or necessarily who killed Dark, and honestly Chosen's internal communication with his systemmates is absolute shit and there's no way in hell Killer OR Beast are leaving notes about a Really Traumatic Event in a journal for him, so his ass is NEVER finding out unless someone tells him.

[Which, to explain why he knows of TSC's powers in Wanted in that case, on some occasions memories do get ""passed"" from alter to alter. This is usually done in the case of "filling in" for the host, for example, where the alter requires information that another alter had taken in. This is commonly seen in situations where, for instance, a system is out at the store, but whoever entered had switched out for one reason or another, and the new fronter needs to mask as the other one to finish their task without "giving away" that something happened. This isn't the most common thing for Everyone I'd say, but it happens with my system sometimes, and also happens with some of my system buddies too. Thus, in my mind, it happens to Chosen too sometimes. It doesn't ALWAYS happen! Ie, that time Killer had no idea who Dark was. But it Can and so I'm portraying it here lol.]

5: Also, what are Chosen, Killer's and Beasts pronouns? I assume they differ from eachother. And are your Chosen and Dark siblings?

They do, yeah! While I've seen some systems sorta default to one or two sets of pronouns collectively, a lot of alters DO have preferences for pronouns pretty commonly. I mean, I myself vary wildly from some of my systemmates, a lot of whom, for example, use she/her, but I myself don't at all! It's honestly pretty interesting to see the differences, from a curiosity standpoint.

Anyways, back to Chosen. I would once again like to state that these are my personal headcanons and also I don't own Killer OR Beast, I'm just giving them character, and thus not everyone may agree necessarily.

Chosen: He/him primarily, but doesn't mind they/them too. He's kinda like that one tweet that's like "I think I'm nonbinary but I have a job so idc about that right now" in a way lol

Killer: They/them. Has a very wavery sense of identity though, so it's not like they'll get mad or anything at other pronoun usage. They honestly encourage people to get a little fun with it.

Beast: It/it's. Not in a dehumanizing way, but in a reclaiming sort of way.

Lastly, in my interp of Chosen and Dark, they are indeed siblings, yeah! I really adore the headcanon of all 4 hollowheads being siblings, it makes me incredibly happy, so it's like that in pretty much all of my interps/AUs. If it's work done by me, you can probably assue Chosen and Dark are related lol.

anyway yeah that's about it i'd say :] once again i love you so very much for asking questions, and i hope these answered them and didn't just run you in circles for twenty minutes ! i do have a bit of a habit of just yapping on and on and not being very clear, so if anything doesn't make sense or if you want me to expand on any points, or even if i've just repeated or even contradicted myself, then feel free to point it out or ask anything else! ^_^

#also putting this in the main tags since it involves a hc that a lotta you guys seemed to like :]#so this is a lil treat for you all.....#tco ava #the chosen one ava #killer ava #beast ava #alan becker #animator vs animation #not tagging dark since hes only Kinda mentioned and isnt a main focus #but for those curious yes dark does show up in my mile long rambling.#kitkat chitchat #also anon yes you may call it that <3 #i left it intentionally vague initially since i projected a lot of my own symptoms and experiences onto him #and felt that actually Labeling him with My Specific Disorder was like.... TOO revealing #and im big big on my privacy [esp when it comes to my mental health medical history lol]#but like. it was probably obvious regardless when you looked at it like that HELP #and with how positively people reacted im not Too scared to really be public with Just The Name.#tldr yeah youre more than welcome to call the hc that! youll usually see Me Personally just call it system chosen #since its what ive Been calling it in my mind lol #but idm you calling it that at all <3

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average-submas-enthusiast · 9 months ago

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My Experience with Wilbur Soot

So, the Wilbur Soot situation. This is mostly going to be me ranting abt the whole situation, so don't keep reading if you don't care.

I mostly just had to type this out and post it so I can vent and (hopefully) get over Wilbur Soot.

Wilbur supporters DNI

I've been a fan of Wilbur's for a long time, I believe the first time I watched him was in January 2021. Initially, I just knew him from Technoblade's (Rest in Power, king) videos, but after a while, he kinda grew into his own thing for me.

I wasn't huge into Dream Smp as it came out, as most of the time I couldn't tune in for personal reasons.

I started seriously watching it in September of 2021 if I remember correctly. It soon became a hyperfixation of mine. I knew basically every crumb of lore like the back of my hand, and I loved what Wilbur did for both the server and its stories. I still do, to an extent, as the Dream SMP is still really near and dear to my heart.

Then, Lovejoy’s Pebble Brain album came out. Previously, I had no idea Wilbur had started a band, so it was a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one. So when I tell you that that album had been my single favorite album of all time up until this point, you better believe it. I spent hours listening to the songs, over and over again, whether it was on a good day or a bad one, I always had a small comfort.

After about a year or so, I fell out of MCYT again. I still kept up with it occasionally, mostly just watching Tommy and Wilbur.

Frankly, before Tuesday, I hadn't even thought about Wilbur Soot since about 2 months ago. So, when all of a sudden, I saw he was trending on here, I was somewhat excited. I thought he had announced a new project or something. So, I clicked on the hashtag.

I am truly disgusted by Wilbur Soot's actions. To think, someone who I personally looked up to, did such horrendous actions is horrifying to me.

A part of me feels almost ashamed that I didn’t see it, that any signs in the past of Will being a bad person I swept under the rug, choosing to ignore it because “He was young'' or “He said he was sorry”. However, I have since realized that I COULDN’T know what was going on behind the scenes. I only saw his persona, the mask he put on when he streamed or was recording. TBH, this situation has really affected me, if me writing such a long post about the situation didn't tip you off already.

And worst of all was his "apology”. I first learned about this situation on Tuesday, about 3 hours before he made his public “apology”. When I read it, at first I was semi-satisfied, because he claimed he was/had gone to therapy and felt his previous actions were “slobish, disrespectful, and selfish”. I felt like he had downplayed his actions, but that overall he had felt bad and was seeking help.

Then, I realized a ton of things were wrong with it. Not only did he downplay his actions, he completely skipped over like 75% of it, he also JUST DIDN'T SAY SORRY. He somewhat vaguely apologized, if you turn your head and squint, but the words “I'm sorry” never appear in the text.

With all these things coming together, plus all the reactions by creators that have met him IRL/talked to him in private, I can't in good conscience support Wilbur Soot. Whether it be in music, youtube, twitch, whatever, I just can’t. I have removed all of both his and Lovejoy’s songs from my streaming playlists, and have pirated a small few that I’ve used as comfort music. I plan on eventually fully cutting him and his work out entirely, but I need a little time to adjust. I feel bad for not supporting Lovejoy, as there are other members than Will, but I feel it is the best course of action unless they fully remove him from both the band and the cash flow.

Hopefully reading through my experience has helped anybody else who has felt a familiar experience to me. I truly hope Wilbur gets the help he needs, he is a messed up individual, and needs psychological help.

Small note: Please, don't tell Wilbur to kill himself, while his actions were bad, that's not an excuse to tell somebody to end their own life. His actions were horrible, but verbally assaulting someone online is not a reasonable reaction to this situation.

Go support Shubble. She's very brave to talk about her experiences. Support SA victims. Go support both Tommy and Phil, Tommy has most likely been a victim of his manipulation and abuse and Phil is a close friend of his that most likely feels betrayed and hurt by his close friend’s actions.

I don't really have anything else to say, so bye everyone, stay safe and vigilant.

#wilbur soot #mcyt #shubble #tommyinnit #sa mention #SA

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autisticempathydaemon · 3 months ago

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Hiya!! This is for the Redacted matchups! ^-^

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

- I'm on a The Crane Wives kick, listening to "How to Rest" and "Arcturus Beaming" on repeat. It gave me the name of my redacted demon OC actually lol. But How to Rest means a lot to me. I could quote the whole song, but I'll just put:

"Here's the truest thing I've ever know / The heart is just a muscle with a rhythm all its own / It doesn't stop when you decide not to move on / The heart knows nothing of your love or of your loss / So life just keeps on ticking by, compelled by instinct to survive / And love's the only thing worth being alive for"

What is your Enneagram type?

- I had to search a bit to find where to take this but I got Type 9? Sleeping At Last has songs based on each type and I relate to two and nine too much.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

- Oh god, yeah I do! I have so many favorites but I can give an older one and a newer one. Ladyknightthebrave's whole channel has my heart, but her "Dead Doesn't Mean Gone - A Haunting of Bly Manor Video Essay" has been engrained in my memory. The new favorite is Skyehopper's "Why Bastion Lies to You" because I do love that game, and its unreliable narrator. I mostly watch media summaries and analyses, and it's comforting to listen to people talk about the media that touches them.

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

- So... I didn't have one? I felt so weird, like I was supposed to have one, but never did. May be the aphantasia in me, but my imagination hit after I found fanfic and went all in with OCs.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

- Video essays and videogame playthroughs! Curl up in blankets and put on an old favorite.

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

- Oh, I'm too indecisive for this, but maybe Ari? I like shorter names. I have more issue with my surname than my first name.

What is your favorite of Redacted's audios, and why?

- “Trying to Help Your Moody Vampire Sleep"(Porter) and "Time Is A Song. It's Also Water. He's Half Asleep."(Morgan). Both pairs are going closer in these!! Both set late at night and during the rain help too. After the craziness of the summit, it was so nice to hear Porter so gentle with Treasure. And Morgan being so open about how much he wants to know Seer was just so great~

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don't get the hype for.

- So I enjoy Flyboi. I've listened to Flyboi's epilogue multiple times. I have not touched Yandere Ivan's playlist. I don't think I will. I do enjoy the trope sometimes, but this one just isnt for me.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

- I get down on one knee, and hold up a little box. I open it. It has a slip of paper that says "Will you watch A Haunting of Bly Manor with me?" More seriously, I love what it says about grief, and our own personal ghosts that we carry with us.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

- SO ABOUT MILO GREER— lol, mostly I just want that man to teach me how to dress. I want to watch him play horror games while we freak tf out and his mate laughs. Also Guy! Please gimme free pizza and ramble at me for 30+ minutes.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you're tired, and if so, what is it?

- That... is currently Redacted for me lol. Or Hades. Mostly though, I enjoy listening to the rambles of my friends, rather than being the one rambling.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

- 7-Eleven was mine first, Gavin-- But yeah, Cherry Coke Slurpee, that's it.

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

- So, the Interactive Novel WIP "Speaker" has a playlist that I have carried onto every platform I listen to music to. Feels like a playlist the characters would be playing on the long roadtrips they take and I come back to it a lot.

What's your guilty pleasure media, and why?

- I'm not too guilty about it, but the Our Life games. They are just wholesome and good, and make me feel warm. Interactive fiction games too. Games that make you create an OC for them!

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are!

- I am a pretty big maladaptive daydreamer, and I deal with a lot of anxiety over being outside. I have gotten a lot better with it, though I can still be hard on myself when I feel like I'm taking steps backwards. I like to doodle, and make lists. I want to get a cat one day. I love horror even if I am a total wimp about it, and one time I hyperfixated on a bad romance series, read all 40+ books of it, and it certainly wasn't fun! But oh man, do I know way too much of how the author mixed up their own characters.

Really curious to what you pick, thank you so much!!

There’s quite a few reasons why I’m choosing the redacted boi I am for you, but I have to admit the most nebulous but altogether vibey of them is that you and Elliott would be hella Crane Wives-coded.

Type Nines tend to be motivated by a desire for peace and harmony, a lack of conflict; another reason I like Elliott for you is because I think he could really get that, given he’s a middle child from a tempestuous home. Then there’s your identifying as a daydreamer with aphantasia. I love the idea of pairing someone who has trouble visualizing things with someone who could visually bring those things to life before your eyes, even if only in dreams. You also seem to love stories and character creation, and Elliott canonically a dreamwalking Dungeons and Dragons nerd; it’s a perfect match.

I’m so jealous, because I can’t imagine anything more fun than being a horror fan with Eli as a partner, even if you’re a wimp. He doesn’t care how many times you’ve both seen The Haunting of Bly Manor; he just cares about spending time with you- maybe getting cozy under a blanket with a cat on top of your laps. You two could watch any fun, horror media, and it’d be okay because he could turn any of your nightmares into good dreams. Maybe he plays the horror games while you watch and doze off, your own personal video game play through sleep-aid. (A chill one, I think, as Elliott strikes me as an unflappable type, at least when it comes to horror.)

Song:

I'll be the moon/ You'll be the sun/ We'll make the day glow/ You'll slowly rise/ And I will fall/ I'll be the sky/ You'll be the ground/ Under the hillside/ We'll slowly wait and watch it all

This was so tough to pin down since the Crane Wives Radio songs were all either tragic or epic in scale /lh I landed on this one because I was looking for neither of those things; I wanted something happy and comfortable and peaceful, which is all Elliott and his Sunshine truly need at this point. Also, the sun and moon imagery is just too perfect.

Runner-ups:

Ollie is a cute runner-up for you not just because I think you’d like the same things, like video games and horror but because he already has a cat that would obviously also become yours when you get together. Lasko is another runner-up for you for the same reasons! I think you’d share a lot of shared interests as well but different ones- namely fiction, OC’s, and horror that you can’t handle.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

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junkdrawernoggin · 3 months ago

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SPOILERS for CINDERELLA'S CASTLE

Wanted to put a warning because if you can see it you should, and for all the folks who are going to wait for the YouTube release. There are also critiques in here, so if you don't want to see that, pass on by and have a good day!

I really really enjoyed it! I have a couple issues with it so I'll get those out of the way first. I mean these with all respect and kindness to the cast and crew.

Main Issue: You can tell who is an old Starkid member

This distracted me a lot. In this production there are only 3 original members on stage (I'm counting anyone who did AVPMs). That's Jeff Blim, Lauren Lopez, and Joey Richter. They are obviously all very talented. However

My critique for Lauren is that she did the same voice for Rancilda that she did for Ruth, and I wasn't a fan when she did it then. I haven't loved any of her sniveling loser roles, finding them far too annoying to enjoy. Emma and Zazzalil were fantastic, as well as her Tin Can roles. Please let her do that instead.

Edit: The Rancilda voice is actually not Ruth's. There is another character she does that has this exact same shrill thing going on, but for the life of me I cannot recall who it is.

Jeff is a great song writer, but he consistently writes himself parts that are out of his comfortable range. That or his vocal health is in serious disrepair by performance time. The "Castle on a Hill" demo sounds great, but in the DT performance I can almost feel the strain. I miss his lower range.

Joey did amazing puppet work; I especially enjoyed the parts where he was the old dwarf. The problem comes with the singing. NPMD I enjoyed his singing, and he's been good in the Tin Can productions. But you can hear him straining in the background which I felt hindered some of the ensemble parts.

I LOVE the old cast. They all bring unique skills to the table. But I think they are very comfortable now, and also sometimes make choices they think are good but in actuality hinder themselves. I'd love if a different writer came on board to mix things up. They need to be unafraid of giving honest feedback.

Now to the good!

The "new" cast members are so incredible!

Bryce rocked it, and I'm glad to see her highlighted after how well she did in NPMD. She sold every emotion, and her mix of wit and despair was heartcrushing. I would watch a 10 hour version of this production just to see more of her.

James was great. I don't find overly sexual humor that funny, but he did very well keeping a straight face and being utterly sincere with it all.

I will fully admit I have a crush on Kim and Curt, which colors my perspective of them a bit. Kim is such an incredible singer, I could listen to her all day. She's only the Fairy Queen for like...10ish minutes but she absolutely and utterly steals the show. No one else could've sold me that hard on how ethereal she was. Curt impossibly has chemistry with literally every person he's paired with. From the previews I was hoping Tadius and Ella would be paired up, so I am peachy pleased it turned out that way!

Jon was great, his role was clearly inspired by Septimus from Labyrinth and I love how hard he leaned into that.

I also adore Mariah, and I really loved this for her. She has had a pretty wild amount of diversity in all of her roles for Starkid. I was happy to see her really lean into the comedy and shenanigans of it all.

And the cherry on top, ANGELA!!!! I will admit, in Black Friday i wasn't her biggest fan. Mostly because I was so disappointed Mariah was unable to be in that production. However, she utterly shocked me in NPMD, that girl is MADE to play villains!!! I was a bit confused on why Angela was chosen for the stepmother and not Lauren, but oh boy when she came on stage I was HOOKED! She was fantastic. Is she a great singer? In my personal opinion, no not really. Do I really care? NOT AT ALL!! Highlight of the show 10/10

Also the set design was fucking incredible!! I like that they downsized (or at least it looked like they downsized) from the NPMD stage. It looked empty all the time. This time it felt so full and high budget. The lighting was phenomenal, the first time I've ever noticed lighting in a show and not for a bad reason.

The band was great, they always are!

The songs were...iffy. They didn't stick with me the way the NPMD ones did, certainly not like Black Friday or TGWDLM did. I'm a big music fan (I trained professionally to sing as well), so songs stick with me a lot even on a first listen. I know the opening "There's a castle on a hill as the story goes..." because I've watched the announcements so many times. Other than that, I really cannot tell you a single lyric from most of the songs in this show. Very odd for me.

Okay, going in for another watch. Maybe I'll have other opinions after.

#starkid #cinderella's castle

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balloooonn · 4 months ago

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NEW BANNER ! ★ LITTLE PRESENTATION 4 EVERY PONY !

★ DISCLAIMER : I'M NOT THE BEST AT ENGLISH ! SORRY FOR THE BAD GRAMMATIC !

Hi, I'm kotty. I'm 16, chilean and a trans male. He/him! I have a cover / music / animation etc channel, It's in spanish, but I'd love you to watch it.

I just do the things I love the most. The objective of the covers is translating songs to spanish and making them as accurate as possible, mixing it my own essence. It's something I always wanted to do since I was a kid.

You'll se Anjerta Vicaduñez and Alan in almost every video. Together, or separated. They're my ocs, a simple representation of the positive and negative side of things.

ABOUT MY ACCOUNT HERE ON TUMBLR :

I created myself a tumblr for posting fanart of the things I like. Just fanarts, not much else. I don't like posting about my ocs. (Maybe some exceptions in the future, I don't know.)

I've been here for just two years, yet I don't know how to use it fully... LMAO-

★ YOU'LL FIND THIS KIND OF FANDOMS :

• Eddsworld (Mostly neighbors)

• Bugbo

• Don't Hug Me, I'm scared

• Lacey's games

• Papa's canibalia

• Spooky Month

• My little pony

I'm in some more fandoms, but I think I won't upload about them here (I'll uptade this list when I do). Maybe I missed something, but whatever.

I'm tagging the rest of the fandoms in this publication.

Very big fan of Jack Stauber too.

MY PRINCIPAL FANDOM ★ EDDSWORLD AND MY CHILEAN AU PROJECT !

I have a project of Eddsworld in mind since july of 2023. It's an alternative universe of Eddsworld were they are chileans. It's just them being funny together, but in Chile, my country.

Needless to say I don't want to offend anyone with this, It's a parody, and I made this for my own fun, just wanted to share it with the fandom. (Seems like people like it, tho!)

I'll share some of the art I've made until now.

I tend to be very awful at having constancy and perseverance with my own projects, so I don't have advanced it very much. (Yeah, it's a bit abandoned.)

Eddsworld Chile has an account on Tiktok. I post news about the project, animations and other things. I have my own personal account too there.

I'll make a channel on YouTube for it soon.

★ EDDSWORLD CHILE ACCOUNT:

★ MY OWN ACCOUNT:

- I have to say that making this AU changed my life in a way I didn't think it would. That's something personal I've been thinking lately.

Despite everything bad that has been happening in my personal life, this was a very big comfort, and it only made me take a lot of inspiration for everything I want to do when we talk about art and music.

That's all! Consider watching my channel if you like Sodikken or Jack Stauber. Bye ;p

THANKS 4 WATCHING ★ HAVE A [Nice Day] ! ONLY FOR 4,99$ !

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an-android-in-a-tutu · 5 months ago

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what youtube video did you watch that defined porn that way? that's such an interesting nuanced way of looking at it and i wanna know more. anyone seeing this ask out of context is gonna be so confused lmao

also i love what you said about works that are all sex scenes but are also character explorations, and how it's hard to define something like that as either porn or not porn. i love reading fanfic like that and even if it makes me horny i never really think of it as porn, because even if the story is entirely sex scenes, its still sex scenes that are in service of a plot, if that makes sense?

Hey thanks the video is this book review that was linked in a post that I watched out of curiosity. Mostly because the person sharing the review seemed like they were being uh, weird. And kinda sexist. So I went in with a pretty skeptical eye, but the review turned out to be measured and thoughtful and it turned out it was just the poster that was being weird.

It isn't really about pornography, the reviewer is defining porn in order to interrogate the concept of "trauma porn" and the subject matter of the book being reviewed is, about what you would imagine for something that's getting branded with that label. I've never read it myself and I don't think I would, but the review was interesting and talked in part about the book's popularity and how it might have to do with the popularity of whump and hurt/comfort fanfiction. While also addressing some of the very real issues with the book's message and presentation. But obviously since I haven't read the book myself I can't like 100% attest to the accuracy of this video, just that it was interesting and touched on some topics I'm interested in.

And yeah I agree with you about sex scene character studies. It was mostly on my mind because my friends write a lot of those, so when I was pitching my definition of porn my brain immediately jumped to. Well what about this oneshot your friend wrote, that was just a scene of a guy masturbating but its main focus is his fantasies as a character study, what about that huh? And the answer for me is huh, I don't know! I would feel totally comfortable categorizing that as "not porn" because even though it's short form and focused on sex the primary purpose is a character study, but at the same time, I feel like by doing that you risk like creating a definition of porn that's simply like, a catch all for art and media that you view as like, vapid and meaningless.

That may be a flaw in the definition presented in the video, it kind of accepts the like, pejorative nature of calling something "porn" into the definition. Should we create a definition of porn where explicit sex stops being porn if it has themes? Or accept that something being porn doesn't preclude it from also being art? But then how do we draw a line between what is and isn't porn? How important is it to actually do that?

Looking at the current state of the internet, and this website in particular, there's a lot invested in coming up with enforceable definitions of "explicit" material specifically for the purpose of banning porn without limiting artistic expression, but what makes viewing sex for sex's sake worse than other forms of nudity? We tend to accept the idea that there is a difference between porn and sexually explicit material or nudity presented for other purposes, and I do think there is to an extent, but it does seem like the line being drawn is essentially "these things have enough other value to make up for including sex, and these things don't" and I don't like that.

I guess my only conclusion is, it's hard to come up with a solid definition of porn when porn is still broadly viewed as, if not morally wrong, then inherently base and valueless.

#ask #anonymous #idk anything else about this youtuber other than seeing this one video so I'm not like endorsing them #they have given me no reason to suspect I shouldn't endorse them I just live in constant fear of the milkshake duck

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morgana-ren · 11 months ago

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Hi Morgana :)) hope you're having a good day. So I stumbled upon this video and the discourse in the comments https://youtube.com/shorts/cbtSWTjXvZQ?si=8g19VZHJUNI-5niU

And quite frankly got curious as I didn't get to play much of an early access Astarion but I do remember how his attitude at the tiefling/goblin party seems a lil different from early access to launch as well as his noble to charlatan change. So I thought that I could ask the Lore Mommy do you think he was changed that much and or how these changes shifted your perspective on his character. Because personally I do view him as a decadent and somewhat hedonistic as Ascended and those traits do show in his Spawn persona as well.

So just curious about your thoughts on this:))

Okay, I ended up fucking rambling and getting off topic here. This is too long for comfort. I'm sorry I just ended up blabbing, I swear that wasn't the intention lmao. I ended up looking into the comments at aforementioned discourse and it just reminded me of shit, so please forgive me. I tend to r a m b l e with a fuckin capital R. I'm talking in a more general sense and not at anyone in particular, most especially not you, so please don't think that. It's just my observations at large. I love questions like this and I hope this doesn't make you roll your eyes.

So, I got the EA version of the game when it was still fairly early. It was Patch 2, if I recall. It was interesting watching the group develop and grow as the writers and developers decided some things fit more than others because sometimes the patches were so drastically different than the last. Wyll actually got an entire rewrite between the EA and the full release. All of the characters we had went through changes (except Karlach and Halsin because they weren't there but they were likely tweaked behind the scenes.) A lot of Astarion's concept was already written, but his character was absolutely tweaked. The art book and a lot of the released designs are very early. We had them as of patch 2 where he was drastically different. In the beginning, they very much were going more for the stereotypical 'evil' follower. You could play as a good character and he would still like you, but he was very much geared for more debauchery-based playthroughs. It's also important to note that we really didn't get to demo everything. We only got the first act, and some of the more shallow aspects of it.

The thing about Baldur's Gate 3 is it is written so well because no character is good or evil. They are rounded, genuine characters with stories and lives and opinions of their own. You can dislike them, but you have to acknowledge they aren't written to be banal stereotypes. Astarion was a bit more of an evil clusterfuck in EA, but even then, there was a deep pain inside of him, and he was using his callousness and lack of giving a shit as a defense. Even then you knew something was very wrong. He mentioned Cazador because you ran into the Gur hunter, and you knew he was kept as a spawn against his will and was tortureda and had a very dubious past, but a lot of the character development wasn't in the EA-- because they didn't originally intend for it to be there.

But that doesn't fully change his character like some of the comments and other videos and posts I see seem to suggest. It seems like a lot of people have an egregious misunderstanding of his arc-- especially on tiktok and youtube shorts where the audience is younger and more prone to projection and group-thinking, echo-chambery line of thought.

Here's the rundown from what I remember deducing with EA combined with my personal playthroughs now that the game has released:

Astarion was absolutely a shithead before he was taken and turned. We don't know about his childhood, mostly because he doesn't know or remember, but I can say with certainty that he didn't become a dickhead after Cazador. Being taken made him worse, but he absolutely was an asshole before he was taken. He probably wasn't the traumatized, terrified young man he is now, but he was probably a real shit-kicker. He was on the winding path to darkness and they make this clear.

(His childhood was not touched on in the EA at all. All you knew is magistrate, vampire, gur killed him, Cazador, slave, and his dickish, libertine attitude.)

He is a noble though. This much we knew. He is privileged. Elite. He took without caring and doled out where he saw fit. He was your stereotypical rich boy-- or that's the vibe he gives off. He doesn't give off 'I earned my way into power' like Gortash does. He gives off 'I was born into privilege and I'm making it everyone else's problem.' He's educated and very savvy with language in a way that those of higher education access learn to be. He is well spoken and snubs his nose at 'lessers' in a way you see the wealthy do so casually. He was likely living a life of luxury and emerging into his own life in an Elon Musk-esque sort of evil powergrab. He might've always been a pesky little troublemaker, but he very much has 'I'm rich and I don't care about you' vibes, even beneath all of the trauma. This did not develop from Cazador. This was preexisting.

He was young. He was impulsive and dumb. He never had a chance to emotionally mature. It's entirely possible that, had he been left alone, he might've blossomed into a better person. But do not be mistaken, he was a bad person. Honestly, it's more possible to me that he would have just become another corrupt patriar with the city in his coin purse. Either way, fate played him a different hand than the one his birth had decided on.

You are told that he is a magistrate back in the city, which is true. When you play his origin story, you get options relating to it and it's actually been referred to a lot since the EA. He absolutely was some form of up and rising politician seeking power. A man with high ideas of himself, libertine proclivities, a self-centered attitude, and very much not a good person. Probably not horrible or sadistic for fun to the degree he is now, but definitely spiraling that way with the path he was on. The seeds had been planted already before any of his trauma happened.

I assume he wasn't quite important enough that his death would cause an uproar, but probably an impudent little upstart with his eyes on high political power just getting his bearings in the political world with help from mommy and daddy. The kind of petty asshole who abuses any authority he gets and doesn't care who or what gets in his way because he has some shit to prove and a life to live, everyone else be damned. That kind of person. He had ideas and ambitions, and is probably very open to corruption from the get-go. The kind of politician that dies in the street and people go "Hmm. Shame." and move on because they weren't anything special or grand. Just another corrupt asshole getting what they deserved. Another rich daddy's boy brought to the knife by the populace.

He was mourned. Someone missed him. But it wasn't the people of Baldur's Gate. That's for sure. He was forgotten before he became a true problem. Killed and stemmed. Just. Another. Cruel politician. Just another bastard with a big head. Just another.

In short, he definitely made some enemies and had drawn the wrong sort of attention during his time as a magistrate. Being the peacocking, lovely, arrogant young man he is, I bet he'd managed to make more people unbelievably pissed off than any sort of admiration, which normally for the rich isn't a problem, but... when it is, it really is, as you can see.

Even in the EA, he is very open with you tells you that the Gur, likely unhappy with a recent ruling he made, jumped him and murdered him in the street and you can let him kill the hunter. Thing is, Gur are not a violent people. If they attacked him like that, he did something to warrant it. It had to have been pretty nasty for it to have that consequence. The main difference is in the EA (later, of course, but still) you can find out that it was not Cazador that sent the Gur hunter. In fact, it was someone different entirely. I think it was someone named Maiden Fel or something. I do not remember. They likely switched it up. It was not the Gur looking of their own volition originally, but neither was it Cazador. But the EA was also slightly disjointed and broken so it's hard to tell what was canon at the time.

Astarion, in his shitty early days, isn't shy about his slight racism. He seems to dislike everything that isn't human or elven. It's entirely possible he had racial/cultural biases against the Gur and ended up pulling a ruling that was extremely unfair. It would be fair for them to seek retaliation.

This is never officially elaborated on as far as I know, but I do honestly believe that Cazador was almost more coincidence than anything. He saw a young, beautiful boy and went "Hmm... useful." He smelled blood in the water and saw someone that wouldn't be missed and offered them eternal life, knowing this silver-haired young man would be foolish enough to grasp it. He probably reeked of privilege. He would take it with open arms and without asking why or what for because that is what he was used to. Privileged people do not ask. They take. Cazador knew this.

(The point of me running through his past is to point out that not everything can be blamed on his trauma. He was at least kind of a bastard before this ever happened. And both EA and release have the similar trauma background almost identically.)

As we know, Astarion died that night. In the street. In a puddle of his own blood. He was scraped off the cobblestone and thrown into the cemetary, where he emerged the next night to his new life-- to Cazador. He didn't die. Astarion the Magistrate died. But Astarion, the stuck up, pompous, selfish asshole very much did not. In fact, that very same noble was forced to swallow a taste of his own medicine-- and it was a bitter fucking pill.

It made him worse. Trauma doesn't always make you soft and sweet. Sometimes, trauma makes you hard and cruel and angry and spiteful. Sometimes it doesn't make you apologetic; it makes you venomous. It makes you a spitting cobra rather than a loyal, empathetic puppy.

(Notice all I say about projection) Honestly, for me, it's nice to see that representation. Because my trama did not make me kind. It made me hurt. And it made me angry. And it twisted my mind into ways of thinking that I do not like. And you almost never see that. You see a lot of people who are kind and soft and gentle, but you don't often see those of us that were ripped apart and never managed to sew back together right. We do not bend and break our back and twist our tongues for others. Sometimes we are hurtful and mean and things that people paint as evil. Sometimes you grow claws rather than thick skin. Sometimes you grow fangs rather than a bigger heart.

So, more in line with the actual question, they very much did change up his arc. He was meant to be much more manipulative and shitty. It was datamined in the original script, I believe. That much was confirmed way earlier in the early access. But more or less, they went 'Hey, maybe we shouldn't write such a vapid dumbass character because it doesn't fit with the theme of 'complexity' we're working with here. Maybe we should make him more rounded. Maybe we should make him a person.' His story had been mostly mapped, but his character hadn't quite yet. And I'm glad they did.

Having him be a vacuous, shitty stereotype would have been a massive disappointment, especially in a game that is so deep.

Here's the bit though:

It is a CONSTANT throughout the game, EA and release; Astarion very much is an asshole. He is throughout the entire game. He can get better, but he's a dick. No two ways around it. His trauma didn't make him terrible, he very much already was a selfish person who ended up getting stunted. He learned to lie and manipulate to survive, but he wasn't a sweet boy when this happened to him. He was a 'bad' person who had something horrible happen to him that opened up his body and made him defensive and cruel, because he believes the world is cruel and indifferent to suffering, which goes in line with his earlier pre-kidnap thinking of 'Who cares?' It made him bitter for sure, but he already had those ways of thinking. He didn't care who he hurt. He didn't care about anyone. That's the entire bit with 'libertines' and the elite. He was already bad; it made him worse.

He was a fucking jackass. But notice I don't say evil.

He is not a character that empathizes or sympathizes well. He doesn't care what others are going through unless you teach him to, and even then, he is still learning. He is capable of trying if you steer him there. But in general? He rejoices in cruelty, being a general nuisance, being selfish, being power hungry, and being self serving. These are not solely trauma traits. These are not all defense mechanisms, though they can be. Astarion is a rounded character that is complex but right now is not the stereotypical 'uwu sad baby' shit that people love to do to him either. They made him relatable. Gave him tragedy. And people love to latch on to that to paint us as these pathetic babies incapable of our own thoughts who need to be coddled and babied and defended.

From EA, they made him more rounded. They made him less cartoonishly gimmicky. He's still a very selfish jerkoff, but he is scared, and vulnerable, and they made a point to emphasize that. He is not just evil hot vampire. He is scared, vulnerable, rude, pompous, arrogant, selfish, terrified, traumatized, angry, subdued--

and the list goes on. He is a person. He is a relatable person. But these traits he respects in the beginning? Selfishness? Greed? Self-serving? These are traits he admired before that were amplified by his trauma. These are traits that we condemn as a human race, but we still hone and harbor. These are things we have and we see and we experience day to day.

And that is why it is so easy to judge him and condemn him and try to paint him in black or white and call him banal morality labels like 'good' or 'evil.' It's part of why we have these arguments over his EA versus now. Because you see these good/bad things and immediately need to justify your love or hatred for him and defend or condemn him because you hear them and go "No! Wrong! I know he's selfish but he's not evil and--" and all of those other posts we love. People struggle with nuance. That is why it is so easy for people to make these videos defending their views. They grab keywords and examples and go "See!" and show little tiny snippets instead of an entire person. Hell, we do it in real life too. We point out one facet of someone's life and judge and condemn them based upon it. With Astarion, we see so much more, but even then, people still struggle.

People have real experiences with these values. People have personal feelings and judgments based on those things. They feel a need to analyze it, but most people do not know how. They cannot say "No, I just don't like him" or "Yeah, I enjoy him" and leave it at that. Similar to how I'm ripping this open right now. And I'm not condemning anyone. Clearly I'm going on a tangent right now over it. It's fun to do. But people feel like it's necessary. Like they have to.

In those comments, someone points out that media literacy is dead, and I'm inclined to agree. Everything is black and white and must be tucked into neat little boxes that are easy for people to digest. A bad character is a bad mean evil irredeemable character. A good character is a good character that behaves good and does things we expect from good people. Humans are no longer humans. They are not complex. They are not nuanced. They are one dimensional creatures to be judged and executed. That is why people struggle so hard with games this well written. Because it is not that simple. It is not in real life and it is not in the game.

Also in the comments here, it seems like everyone is arguing over a nonissue. It seems to stem from the fact that there's a lot of discourse over liking a bad character. People feel like his newer design is 'justified' and even though he is 'a jerk,' he is not 'irredeemable.' The entire thing is asinine.

No one deserves redemption. That is the fucking point of redemption. That is the entire whole ass point. Someone who does not deserve it working to redeem themselves. If you deserve redemption, you don't need it. If you need it, you do not deserve it. People forget that.

I see this a lot. People demonizing others who enjoy complex or more nuanced characters that are not wholly good. People saying characters are irredeemable and terrible and if you like them, you're a bad person. If you like villains, you clearly relate and you're a bad person. If you like this person, you're just like them and must be condoning their actions.

It's so fucking stupid. I see it with books too. People jump on protagonists because they think the term 'protagonist' means hero, and people conflate the two. I could go on a whole (new) tangent about this, but the point is people are incapable of processing that now, because we've really muddied the waters with morality and we use shame rather than critical thinking. We operate off of gut instincts like 'disgust' and 'hatred' and instead of thinking about shit, we just shove it away and condemn, condemn, condemn.

A natural consequence of this is people jump like dogs to twist that character they love or hate into a victim or something beyond their actual story. They will jump through hoops. They will do whatever it takes to avoid the stigma of being a 'bad person' in the eyes of some internet tiktok teen with a billion followers or some tumblr mom because they have been raised to believe that makes them a bad person and they will deserve the ostrasizing they get. They will be bullied and driven from the internet and sent anons until they go into fucking hiding. It's not okay to just enjoy something anymore. You have to justify it to some asshole. You have to break it open and twist it and defend it or burn it. You can't just exist.

People project. And holy fuck, have they projected on Astarion. It's another natural consequence of having such an incredible, well written character. People see themselves in him. In fact, people see themselves in him so much that they inadvertently take away his agency again in an ironic twist because people with similar feelings or experiences feel like they 'get' him better and therefore have more say over a fictional character than the character himself, the person who wrote him and the man who brought him to life.

My point with all of this nonsensical and unrelated bullshit rambling is that I loved Astarion in the EA and I love him more now. I would have loved him if they left him 'evil' but kept him rounded. His ascended ending is him falling deeply into his worst instincts for control coupled with his entitlement and need for safety. His spawn ending is him relenting and accepting and trying to be better within reason. He will always be Astarion. But he can make efforts to be better-- or worse. But he is always Astarion, and Astarion is decadent, and a bit of a jerk, and a stuffy noble elite with standards. He will always be like that. He will always be Astarion. He probably does better there with someone to babysit like Tav, but even a single spawn Astarion made great strides and effort.

I think we take that for granted a lot. We get people all up in their feelings and lashing out at people who like one ending or the other. We have people calling other people horrible people for trusting Astarion in the end of his spawn ending instead of coddling him and taking his fuckin' free will away again. We have people throwing food like kids in a cafeteria and it feels like no one slows the fuck down and wonders why they feel that way.

I like Astarion because he's an incredible character. I like him more in the release because he's more developed. He feels real. He feels like me. (See, projection.) I get it. People are not always pure good or pure evil. These are words we made up because we're an idiot little species that needs to categorize, same as why we name shapes and traits. But I liked him evil too. I just liked him. He just interested me. I always liked him.

He feels better in the release. More fleshed out. Less foreboding and more understandable. He's not Viconia from BG2 who is basically just there to be an evil temptress for 'hehe evil' characters. But guess what? It's totally fine if you wanna engage with him that way! If you don't like him, or you don't want to bother with making him better, you don't have to. If that's all you want to do, then hell yeah, baby.

At the end of the day, he is a model we can use to dissect ourselves. He can help us understand how we view complex issues. But it gets frustrating when people highjack it with an absolutely egregious misunderstanding of the story. Like things are so simple, you know?

In the EA, he was cool. He was really cool. But we didn't know much about him other than 'hehe evil.' We didn't know much about anything, and man, did we like to theorize. I can remember doing it years and years ago before the fuckin' game came out. But ultimately, it was always a projection of ourselves. What we wanted. What we saw.

They made him a more fleshed out being. They filled in the blanks. He is an arrogant fucking asshole, and he is rude, and entitled, and pompous, and cruel, and self serving and greedy and all of that 'evil' shit, but he is also human. He is capable of deep and profound love. He is capable of caring. He is capable of so much. He can be selfless and loving and caring and gentle. He can be genuine and honest. These traits do not define him unless he chooses to cling to them-- and he only does if he does not learn. And when he doesn't learn? He loses himself and fills his destiny of being the wretched, terrible perpetuator of abuse both on the populace and you. And that was the point. That happens when you lose yourself and give in to fear. It can happen to all of us. And sometimes it does.

But it really also isn't that deep, in the same breath. If you like the ascended ending which is a bit more in line with his original origins, so what? It's a cool ending. It's neato. It still has a clear and blatant message, but it's a fucking video game. Do what you like. If you think it's hot? So what? If you just enjoy the goddamned doomed narrative? So?

Not everything has to be a trial of who you are as a person. Not everything is that deep. Sometimes the answer is as simple as 'shit is cool' and it ends there. If other people look deeper into it, that sounds like a 'them' problem. That's their need to justify. That's their desire. Both EA and release are fantastic. Some folks have preferences. I liked both.

He's my boy. I love him for who he is and what he has done for me. And I'm grateful I got to see his development. I'm grateful I get a well written story with incredible characters. If people think he's wholly evil or good, that's their sack of beans, my dude.

#morgana and friends #astarion spoilers #holy fuck I really just sat here and wailed forever huh #I do not expect anyone to read all of this #I think it's my way of compounding my thoughts #nothing is ever simple with me eh

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blackbutlerfandomnerddomain · 13 days ago

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So since I'm making Smiling Critters stuff recently I wanted to share my opinions to the shippings and share my personal headcanons based off them:

I used this Tier List and came up with this:

I didn't even try to make it even it just happened, I dunno!

Let me go down the list as best as I can! Starting with my S Tier/My All Time OTPs;

Bobby Bearhug x Hoppy Hopscotch:

I think I mostly liked them due to their cutout lines: "I love you to the moon and back" "Wanna try hopping to the moon with me?"

I really love the aesthetic of femme x tomboy when it comes to my lesbian ships in a lot of fandom.

I can for sure imagine Bobby being really into Lovecore outfits and maybe some Cottagecore while Hoppy wears Jnco and a sports jacket over a tank top

They love outdoor dates! A nice picnic in the park is perfect, it's romantic and sweet, it can give Hoppy the space to be energetic, and if they stay late enough they can watch the stars

Craftcorny x KickinChicken:

This one I honestly think I started shipping thanks to Youtube

It's basically the least expected type of troupe so yeah I like it!

Crafty is taller than Kickin by a few inches and he's not complaining

He's her main supporter in her art

Their dates are either movies in their homes or going out. Sometimes it's at a gallery or museum or a park

Catnap x Dogday:

Okay, this was was my biggest ship for a while now. Like others, it was easy to find the ship and fell in love with her LOL

Dogday makes breakfast in the morning and Catnap makes dinner in the evening. Dogday makes enough to make sure Catnap is at least awake enough the first two hours of the day while Catnap makes sure he cooks enough to make Dogday more sleepy once they finished their night routine

I imagine they both had spots like freckles since my dogs and my old cat have dots, and they both love it

They both help each other's mental and physical health. Dogday makes sure Catnap has some exercise and has a much better diet and self care routine than when he was alone, and Catnap makes sure Dogday takes breaks and sleep properly

Since Catnap is canonically mute (selective mute or fully depends on how you view it), Dogday knows well what Catnap wants and what he says based on his body langue or their own simple codes

Their dates are mostly indoors for Catnap's comfort but on some occasion they have dates outside as either group dates or silent picnics

Picky Piggy x Bobby Bearhug + Craftycorn x Picky Piggy + Hoppy Hopscotch x Picky Piggy:

Okay this one was the random ones I just kind of the same slot but were high in my ranks and can be written as a poly

So-

Picky x Bobby: They can cook together and cuddle and have movie nights

Crafty x Picky: Picky can bake Crafty some cupcakes and Crafty can decorate

Picky x Hoppy: This episode was the ran reason for this ship so blame them LOL

Now onto my A Tier/Also my OTPs but aren't as big as my S Tier:

Bubba Bubbaphant x KickinChicken:

Their ship name is StarStudent which is cute

Also it's just the opposite troupe which again I love!

Bubba helps Kickin with studying and other school stuff while Kickin helps him with loosening up and having a break and fun

Actually their dates is in museums. Bubba loves to learn new things/explaining something and it's actually fun for Kickin/he likes listening to Bubba

Picky Piggy x Bubba Bubbaphant:

I blame this video too!

He makes sure Picky is healthy and she makes sure Bubba knows how to bake

They love watching Great British Bake-Off together

If or when there's a blood drive, Bubba helps the drive and Picky gives people juice and snacks to help them recover

KickinChicken x Picky Piggy:

. . . THIS EPIS-

Same as Hoppy and Bubba, Kickin helps Picky's health and helps find a exercise method in her comfort zone.

They are very protective of each other

Pigs show affection via groomy so I imagine Picky brushing Kickin's hair/feathers

They have picnics at least three times a week

Bubba Bubbaphant x Bobby Bearhug:

It's brain and heart!

"Kisses will heal all!" "Actually Bobby, they should really have medicine-" "Kisses will heal all."

Like with Kickin, Bubba helps Bobby with school often.

They love watching documentaries and cuddles on the sofa as their dates

Craftycorn x Bubba Bubbaphant:

I just think this ship is neat. That is all.

Bubba always checks on her and lifts her spirits often while also making sure she's comfortable

They just geek out and be cute

They go to art galleries a lot

Coffee shops are a must go

Hoppy Hopscotch x KickinChicken:

They're basically the first ship I liked before

It's a cute rivalry type of flirting with them

With that they both do a lot of friendly competitions together

They also for some reason give me Judy Hopps and Nick Wild vibes-

Now onto B Tier/Ships I Still like but aren't as big as the previous tiers:

Bobby Bearhug x Dogday:

Just two wholesome beans who love to support and care for others together

I also just really dig the color palette XD

They both have some issues with abandonment trauma and other stuff but they help each other out

Dogday always knows instantly when Bobby needs a hug and cuddle and she's never gonna complain

Catnap x Craftycorn:

So you know how in certain animes and shows there's always that one heteroship you feel the creator was winking at us like MHA with the audience basically telling which girl would be for which male cast? That's how I lowkey imagine this ship being

They basically mostly enjoy their company the most out of the others with Crafty not too energetic and talkative and Catnap is willing to stay still (i.e. sleeping) for her to draw him and always have a nice answer for her finished work

They're that couple who stay indoors mostly as dates but they're perfect fine with that

KickinChicken x Catnap:

I...personally do not know boo. Is it the emo x jock vibes? Is it the color palette?? Is it the fact it'd be funny for a bird to date a cat???

Either way I enjoy the ship enough

Also star and moon-

Kickin, much like with everyone else, tries to act cool around Catnap who doesn't buy that shit one second

Dogday x KickinChicken:

Two energy balls of different kinds in the same square

Sun and Stars-

They just bounce each others' ADHD together and it's funny

Bubba Bubbaphant x Dogday:

Kickin x Bubba but more chill

Bubba gives Dogday lots of pets and affection every time he gets a right answer in studying

And Dogday convinces Bubba to play a game in a form of a break

Dogday x Craftycorn:

Need I explain why I like the idea of the shy art kid x Mr. Sunshine Popular?

Dogday buys he so much art supplies

Crafty gives me flower crown headbands so imagine she puts one on his head a few times

Catnap x Bobby Bearhug:

Literally sweetheart x that one angsty kid who needs someone to love

I've seen some people implying out of all the Critters Bobby didn't like Catnap at all which feel out of character cause I imagine her being the only one besides Dogday to invite him out or check on him most

If she gets too anxious or tuckered out from love, he just helps her sleep

And now onto my final tier, the C Tier/The ships which are cute but not my thing/I more see them as siblingcore or just friends but that's up for debates if I find good fics:

Catnap x Picky Piggy:

She makes sure he's fed and he makes sure she sleeps

Remember how I said pigs show love via grooming? Well the imagine of them going back and forth grooming/affectionately caring for one enough is cute

Bobby Bearhug x Kickin Chicken:

I guess it's Miss Perfect Popular Girl x Skater Boi???

He'd be her hype man most

Bubba Bubbaphant x Catnap:

Emo x Nerd anyone???

Yeah that's all I got

Picky Piggy x Dogday:

Kind of like the Catnap x Picky one, he makes sure she's well even out in all other departments besides food while she makes sure he at least remembers to eat

Spot/freckles crew~!

Dogday x Hoppy Hopscotch:

Energy meets energy + ADHD

That's all I got too!

Hoppy Hopscotch x Bubba Bubbaphant:

Okay this one is a bit cute. It's sporty tomboy x booksmart guy

They both give me "I have a lot of family" vibes so they bond over that

Catnap x Hoppy Hopscotch:

"You need to get out and take a run lazy cat!" "You need to at least sleep for a full night and not chase the wind."

The literally most shocking/least expected couple

And that is it

#smiling critters #shipping #shipping opinions #this is all au based talk btw not fully serious #like i more so imagine it more cartoon them based then big toy based #though i do have some aus in my head of both worlds that would be fun #i'm also up for someone to convince me why ship C rank should be higher #and I am also up for yall to send me asks based off these guys shipping or not #dogday #catnap #bobby bearhug #bubba bubbaphant #picky piggy #craftycorn #kickinchicken #hoppy hopscotch #i always feel like i'm forgetting one somehow-

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sophieinwonderland · 25 days ago

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Waaa VrGenic anon back once again!!

I decided to try out similar tulpamancy methods for forming her consciousness, basically what I would do is while playing a game, I would think of it as if she was next to me or watching me play and I would talk about the game as if I was a YouTuber talking to the viewer. This worked surprisingly more well than I had thought it would (good thing dw), mostly it's me talking and her listening (at least I think she is) but occasionally she does respond!

Overtime she started to get more comfortable and has been giving me things to say for her, although for right now she tends to have a bad habit of oversharing without realizing it's over sharing. This doesn't really cause any massive problems, merely just a flaw in personality just like any other person (me included lolol), in fact it makes me kind of happy because it's different from who I am and it gives me more security in knowing that my effort is making progress!

Plus, she's a very social gal! Which is honestly amazing for me because I am very anxious about socializing, she also tends to exaggerate her expressions since she's mostly in VR, for example she learned that certain avatars make certain expressions based on hand poses, so she decided she wanted to try out face puppeting, which is really fun imo.

Overall she also adapts to a lot of VRChat social rules rather than regular social rules, for example, since it's VR, it's often that people's avatars will bump into you or get in your space, when I was playing I would usually get jumpscared because I've always been accustomed to having personal space, but with her, she doesn't get jumpscared, or even really move, I asked her why she didn't get at least a bit spooked because it's VR, it's very immersive, and she explained to me that people bumping into you is gonna happen regardless when you are here (here as in VRChat) so she's used to it, similar to how I am used to having my own personal space and that's why it spooks me.

She also even has her own criticisms of some of the things that happen in VRChat (because yes, some very annoying things do happen in public lobbies), for example, I personally don't really mind crashers, I only see them as mild annoyances but then I just brush it off, while for her, she gets a bit more angry about it than me, because of this she often tells me to keep my shield level on VRchat on because of it.

Overall in a nutshell, very good progress and surprisingly a lot quicker results than I initially thought (I was thinking it would take months for her to even say her first sentence tbh,,) so yippe!!

Have a good day/night :D

This is so awesome! Great work! 😁

Thanks for keeping me updated with these progress reports!

It sounds like you managed to get her pretty well developed already!

I'm curious, between the virtual reality method for development and the more traditional tulpamancy method, which would you say had the biggest impact on her development so far?

Thanks again for sharing your journey with us! I really enjoyed reading it!

Sending love to both of you! 💖

Also, let her know that if she has anything to share, it would be cool to hear her perspective too! (No pressure, of course) 😁

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belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas · 1 year ago

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List 10 comfort shows and tag 10 people

I was tagged by @twig-tea (thank you!). This is really difficult because I don't tend to re-watch shows. When I'm obsessed I read fanfic, find FMV's on youtube, and search the tag on Tumblr for gifs and meta lol. I tend to go to books and music for comfort in preference to other media. That being said, here are a few shows that have brought me comfort, that I have re-watched at least once, and that made me cry when I needed that catharsis.

Bad Buddy. Nobody needs me to do a shout out for this show, but I knew I was going to love it from the first teaser trailer, I watched it live from episode one, and I re-watched all episodes released before each new episode dropped. It is also the first BL that I ever shared with an IRL person. It's the perfect mix of fantasy, romance, reality, and comedy.

Until We Meet Again. The heartbreak, the healing, the pain, the inevitability, the love. It gets me every time. I'm a sucker for anything that rips my heart out and then shoves it back in.

Triage. Time loops and time travel and changing ones fate because of love and friendship and light in the darkness and nobody being perfect, but also being able to change and how our lives are made of connections and past circumstances and our choices are influenced by the opportunities we have and what support we get.

It's OK to not be OK. There's a theme here, I know hahaha. Intergenerational trauma and healing, how damaged people can help each other, and the importance of family. I binged this show and there are many scenes that I go back to watch when I'm feeling a certain way. I think this show reminds me a lot of one of my all time favourite stories ever. If you love intergenerational trauma and healing and feeling like a monster and grief and love and family, then please, I beg you, go and find and read Fruits Basket.

Bromance. One of the first Taiwanese dramas I ever watched. I know it can be controversial, but I've enjoyed stories that deal with gender identity since I was a teenager. I've never felt particularly connected to societal expectations for the presentation of my own femininity and I have always felt that gender is unimportant for my personal attraction to people. Having people in stories who are unashamedly loved for themselves, no matter the gender people think they are, or the expectations placed on them because of their gender or gender presentation feel so comforting to me. I really love Coffee Prince for the same reasons. There are also several books and manga that I revisit regularly that have this theme.

Eien no kinou. Yes, it is heartbreaking, but it is so soft and gentle about it. The idea that the universe would conspire to give you time to say goodbye to someone you love is so beautiful.

Old Fashion Cupcake. The unknown influences we have on people, the romance of learning to live not merely exist after losing that for ourselves, people who aren't teenager or young adults having a beautiful love story and finding happiness with each other. It's just very comforting to me.

Leverage. The found family, and making the world a little bit better, and how evil people hurt others not because they care, but because they don't care, how grief colours everything. I think this show is a masterpiece and the way that the episodes mostly follow a heist of the week is also very comforting because I can watch just one episode and not feel like I have to keep watching.

Avatar: The Last Airbender. Oh would you look at that, more trauma! But for all the pain, there is love, and laughter, and healing, and "That's rough, buddy".

Full Metal Alchemist. Yes, Brotherhood is objectively better, but I watched the original anime with my best friends in high school and it has been on my list of forever faves since then. Nothing has ever hit the same emotional devastation as the reveal of what happens to Nina (iykyk). But the love and devotion in this story always wraps me up like a warm hug.

I did not realise I had that much to say about TV shows or how many themes my favourite media have in common XD

If you haven't been tagged and want to do this, please jump in and take this as your invite! I'm not sure who has done this, so I'm going to tag a few people, but no pressure if you don't want to or already have :) @axolola, @chalkrevelations, @fatgumsurpremacy-remastered, @vera9, @neoncoloredglasses, @theflagscene, @omarandjohnny

#tag game #comfort shows #trauma and love and healing #this makes me want to go back and watch all of these again #plus read everything they remind me of #and a few that didn't make it on the list lol

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