#these are from february and i LOOKED through my archives but could not find it ???

[spacemaverick]

i couldnt find these posted anywhere so im making sure theyre here now! sally fox form concept + random dramatic sketch

@aenor-llelo

[dedalvs]

Fiat Lingua Top 10 for 2024

It's time for the annual Fiat Lingua rewind!

Background: I created Fiat Lingua over ten years ago with the idea that it could be something like the Rutgers Optimality Archive: A place where conlangers could post work that they wanted to showcase, or work that was in progress. We've had tons of contributions over the years, and some standout work I'm really proud of.

Using our fancy statistics program (you know, the free version) we're able to determine the top 10 visited posts for this year (though, note, the numbers for the current year's December post will always be down a little bit, since it didn't have a full month. If you'd like to take a look at it, Carl Buck created a new workable orthography for Klingon from the original!). Here they are!

NUMBER 10

We have a tie...

"A Naming Language" (November, 2016) by Jeffrey Henning: A fantastic (and short!) essay about how to create a conlang sketch (or naming language) specifically aimed at authors. The author, Jeffrey Henning, was the most important person in conlanging from the 90s through the mid-2000s before his seminal website, Langmaker.com, died.

"Down with Morphemes: The Pitfalls of Concatenative Morphology" (March, 2014) by David J. Peterson: Honestly, I'm touched. And baffled. Why this paper, published ten years ago which hasn't touched the top ten the past two years, is suddenly on it is absolutely beyond me.

NUMBER 9

"Afrihili: An African Interlanguage" (April, 2014) by William S. Annis: Afrihili is an a posteriori auxlang from the late 60s that uses Bantu languages as its source. If you haven't read about it, you must. This article took sixth place the past two years, but this year dropped to ninth!

NUMBER 8

"Tone for Conlangers: A Basic Introduction" (April, 2018) by Aidan Aannestad: This is the third time this article has been in the top 10, but it slipped one place to number 8. Conlangers continue to find this introduction to tone quite valuable.

NUMBER 7

"Names Aren’t Neutral: David J. Peterson on Creating a Fantasy Language" (March, 2019) by David J. Peterson: Down two spots from last year, this is my article on best practices when coming up with names in a fantasy setting—even when no conlang is present.

NUMBER 6

"Introduction, A Note on the Terminology and Linguistic Methodology of This Paper, and Section I" (February, 2012) by Madeline Palmer: So...this came out of nowhere. This was an early series that helped me avoid having to do a bunch of work for Fiat Lingua in the early years. I was grateful for the runway! I have no idea why, after more than ten years, the dragon language Srínawésin is now getting attention after getting next to none in the past, but…it's getting attention—in a big way. Anyone know why?

NUMBER 5

"Patterns of Allophony" (April, 2015) by William S. Annis: Definitely one of the most popular papers on Fiat Lingua, William illustrates graphically a number of very common sound changes. This article has been at #3 the past two years but tumbled two spots this year to #5.

NUMBER 4

"Hieroglyphs of Fneise" (April, 2024) by Jason Lynn: New to Fiat Lingua this year and new to the top ten, everyone loved this new article about the hieroglyphs of Fneise, created by Jason Lynn, friend of LangTime Studio!

NUMBER 3

"A Conlang-Venture: A Select-A-Feature Adventure" (January, 2024) by Jessie Peterson: This MAMMOTH .pdf is honestly one of the greatest conlang achievements ever. Clocking in at over 700 pages, Jessie created a hyperlinked choose-your-own-adventure demonstration of how to evolve a naturalistic conlang. This document is nothing short of amazing.

NUMBER 2

"Grambank & Language Documentation: Zhwadi and Its Features" (June, 2023) by Jessie Peterson: Even her massive conlang-venture .pdf couldn't top her incredible resource from last year. This is a short description of how to use Grambank in conlanging with a link to a fillable Google spreadsheet any conlanger can copy and use to introduce their conlang to others. Last year this made #4 on the list, and this year it jumped two spots!

And now for the top viewed article for 2024 on Fiat Lingua...

NUMBER 1

"A Conlanger's Thesaurus" (September, 2014) by William S. Annis: The king is back! Last year my article on how to create a surreal conlang took the top spot. This year? Not even in the top THIRTY! It's like it was wiped off the face of the internet! Whether it's top spot or not, though, William Annis's resource on how to create unique words with unique interrelationships and associations has proved useful to conlangers of all stripes. As a reference work, it is unparalleled in terms of usefulness modulo brevity.

* * * * *

And that's it for 2024! I'm looking forward to posting more conlang articles next year. If you are a conlanger, a conlang-researcher, or conlang fan who has something to say in .pdf format about a specific conlang or conlanging in general, please consider submitting something to Fiat Lingua! We take any and all articles related to conlanging in whatever form you have them. I'm also happy to help you think up ideas, or refine those ideas you have. There is no strong review like in a fancy journal: I just want to get what you have up. I'm especially in interested in hosting personal conlang stories—stories about how or why you started to create a language, or your experience creating your own language—personal stories that are often lost, but are so vital, as there is an absolute dearth of literature about conlangers! If you think you have even the seed of an idea, please get a hold of me! I want to share as many stories and ideas as I can.

[destielaureversebb]

Coming soon for the @destielaureversebb: “Light A Fire (In My Heart)” 

Author: Lazarus Rose @lazarus-rose Artist: TwinOne

Rating: Teen and Up Archive warnings: None Length: 10,000 words Tags:  Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Witch/Familiar, Dean and Castiel Need to Use Their Words Relationships: Dean/Castiel

Summary:  Cas is perfectly content with his life as a lowly green witch, although he wouldn’t say he’s exactly happy. And then his familiar, Dean, comes to him with an urgent situation—his brother has been taken by some mysterious force. Despite the weakness in both their bond and their relationship due to Dean’s constant absences, Cas agrees to help.

Excerpt: 

Despite everything, Dean somehow manages a wan smile. “Work some of that witchy mojo of yours, man. There’s, like, tracking spells and stuff, right?”

“Uh…” Cas squints, tilting his head. “Dean, I’ve never even attempted—”

“Well, no time like the present.” Dean stands and walks over to the bookcase across from Cas’ bed. “Which one of these tells us how to find Sam?” he asks, gesturing towards Cas’ collection of books. Some of them are indeed spellbooks, but Cas hasn’t read any of those in years.

Still, Dean is his familiar, and, for his sake, he must at least try to help. He joins Dean by the bookcase and, after a moment’s thought, selects a thick tome of spells Gabriel had gotten him on his travels.

“I think there’s a location spell in here.” He places the book down on the small table tucked under one of his windows and begins to flick through, stopping when he gets to the correct page before glancing back at Dean. “Could you help me, please?”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Dean says and, in the blink of an eye, he vanishes, or he seems to, at least. A second later, an orange cat jumps up onto the table in front of Cas.

Dean’s familiar form had come as a surprise to Cas at first—nothing about him at first had seemed particularly feline. But, over time, it has become more natural. Besides, cats are magically powerful creatures and, despite all the credit Dean gave to Sam, painting himself as the less powerful, less talented brother, Cas remains sure of his potential.

“What now?” Dean asks, curling his fluffy tail around his legs and he looks up at Cas.

Posting date:  February 28, 2024

[deadpresidents]

Hi, I have a question of attribution/provenance regarding a quote you posted about Nixon a while back (like, years back 😅). The quote was this:

"Can you imagine what this man could have been had somebody loved him? Had somebody in his life cared for him? I don't think anybody ever did, not his parents, not his peers. He would have been a great, great man had somebody loved him." - Henry Kissinger in an interview TIME's Hugh Sidey.

I think this is a significant insight into understanding Nixon, but I'm interested in finding the primary source in full. The quote has been tossed around a bunch and I tried to find the original interview, but couldn't find that particular column via google or the Time Magazine archive.

It's cited in Evan Thomas's Being Nixon, but I don't own that book and the Internet Archive doesn't have a digital version either. Based on my snooping through the keyword search preview, and the fact that the quote is cited in other articles pre-2015, I think it might have first been printed outside of the interview itself in Ambrose's Nixon: Ruin and Recovery? But I don't own that either. So if you have a link/copy of the interview, or any earlier source that gives more info (like, what issue of Time was it published in?), I'd really really appreciate it.

Thank you so much if you take the time to answer this, and for all the work you've done and posts you've made over the years on here! I'vd been following since like 2015 or so.

First of all, thanks for following for so long and for the nice comments.

I agree that it's a fascinating and insightful quote about who Richard Nixon was and what he could have been.

I did a little bit of digging after getting your question because I do have copies of Being Nixon and Nixon: Ruin and Recovery, and have also worked very hard over the years to track down as many of Hugh Sidey's "The Presidency" columns that he published in LIFE Magazine and TIME Magazine from the mid-1960s until the early 2000s. Sidey had excellent relationships and access to every President from JFK to George W. Bush, so his columns were invaluable windows into the institution of the Presidency and the personality of the Presidents he covered.

I'm not sure where I saw the Kissinger quote about Nixon originally, but Being Nixon (BOOK | KINDLE | AUDIO) by Evan Thomas cites Stephen E. Ambrose's Nixon, Volume 3: Ruin and Recovery, 1973-1990 (BOOK | KINDLE) as his source. I was hoping that there was a clear example of the quote from one of Sidey's many columns over the decades, but when I tracked down the citation in Ambrose's book, it apparently came from Sidey when Ambrose interviewed him while researching Ruin and Recovery. In the notes, Ambrose cites an author interview with Hugh Sidey on February 27, 1990 as the source of the Kissinger quote. I wish there was a more straightforward source of the quote because it is such an important one, but hopefully that helps out a little bit. I don't know if Ambrose's papers are available online anywhere, but if so, that 1990 interview with Sidey would be the place to look for more information.

[extra-complex]

The Wait for Chapters 3 and 4: A Comprehensive Timeline

As we grow closer and closer to the release of Deltarune Chapters 3 and 4, I've decided to create a complete timeline of all Deltarune news and status updates from the beginning until now. Hopefully this serves as a cool archive of all the news Toby has given us over the years and serve as a valuable resource for anyone wanting to learn about the development process of Deltarune. I've included sources for every piece of information I could find. If I missed anything, let me know and I'll edit it in!

(This is just a copy of a reddit thread I made yesterday. I figured it'd be worth to post here, too.)

30 October 2018

In a series of cryptic tweets, the official Undertale/Deltarune (UT/DR) Twitter urges readers to return in 24 hours.

On his main account, Toby makes a tweet telling players of Undertale to check the UT/DR twitter in 24 hours.

31 October 2018

Deltarune Chapter 1 is released through the Survey Program on the UT/DR Twitter.

28 February 2019

Deltarune Chapter 1 is released for Playstation and Nintendo Switch

5 July 2019

Toby tweets saying Chapter 2 will release when all other chapters are complete.

15 September 2019

Toby tweets saying the design of the basic story beats throughout the game are going well.

We also get our first look at Welcome to the City and Lost Girl, with accompanied screenshots.

15 September 2020

Toby releases the first Deltarune Status Update. From this update we learn:

Chapter 2 began development in May of 2020 with a belief that it can be completed content-wise by the end of the year.

Chapters 3+ are basically only in the first phase (design) of development, with very little else being complete.

17 April 2021

In a Twitter thread, Toby reassures fans that development is going well, along with a picture of the giant toilet in the city.

He reveals a friend has played the beta version of Chapter 2, and her favorite character is Berdly.

20 July 2021

In the same thread, Toby reveals another friend was able to play through Chapter 2.

8 September 2021

Toby announces the 6th anniversary Undertale livestream.

15 September 2021

Deltarune Chapter 2 is announced for release on 17 September 2021 during the 6th anniversary livestream.

17 September 2021

Deltarune Chapter 2 is released, with a countdown in a similar style to the countdown prior to the release of Chapter 1.

Toby releases the second Deltarune Status Update. From this update we learn:

Chapter 2 is believed to be the largest chapter in the game.

The plan is no longer to release the game once all chapters are finished.

Chapters 3, 4, and 5 will be released together, and they will not be free.

The wait for the next chapters begins...

23 September 2021

Deltarune Chapter 2 releases on Playstation and Nintendo Switch.

16 May 2022

In a Twitter thread, Toby reveals some Deltarune concept art, as well as reassures fans that development is going well.

5 September 2022

Toby reveals that no new chapters will release in 2022, but teases a special event to celebrate the anniversary of Undertale and Deltarune Chapter 2.

15 September 2022

Toby releases the third Deltarune Status Update. From this, we learn:

Work has mostly been done on Chapters 3 and 4.

Reveal of the song "Hometown Day" with accompanying screenshots.

These screenshots are likely from Chapter 4 due to the presence of "ch4" in the filenames.

Reveal of the song "My Funky Town" with an accompanying screenshot.

Reveal of the song "Green Room" with an accompanying screenshot.

This screenshot is likely from Chapter 3 due to the presence of "ch3" in the filename.

Announcement of the $pamton $weepstakes.

The $pamton $weepstakes begin, teasing future chapters of the game. I will try to compile everything revealed/hinted at in a separate post in the future.

19 November 2022

The mailing list opens, with the first issue of the UT/DR Newsletter teased for next month.

19 December 2022

Issue 1 of the UT/DR Newsletter is released. From this we learn:

Chapter 3 was going to have 4 somethings and 3 (6?) other somethings. But I've reduced the 4 somethings to 3.5 and refactored how the 3rd other something to be shorter and less something-like, while still maintaining the parenthetical (something, something)... or something.

...whatever this means...

31 March 2023

Issue 2 of the UT/DR Newsletter is released. From this we learn:

The translation process for Chapter 3 is getting close to starting.

29 June 2023

Issue 3 of the UT/DR Newsletter is released. From this we learn:

Focus is still on Chapter 3, with a few people working on other chapters.

The team is finishing the final main overworld area of Chapter 3, and when it's complete, the chapter will be playable from beginning to end.

Chapter 3 is "shaping up to be a pretty strange one." Chapter 4 will be much more standard.

15 September 2023

Issue 4 of the UT/DR Newsletter is released. From this we learn:

Chapter 3 is playable from beginning to end.

A stealth focused section was cut from Chapter 3, including a cut song.

31 October 2023

A special Halloween Issue of the UT/DR Newsletter is released. From this we learn:

Chapter 3 is essentially content complete, and a friend was able to play through the entire chapter.

People are starting to transition into working on Chapter 4

Chapter 5 will no longer be released with Chapters 3 and 4.

13 February 2024

Issue 5 of the UT/DR Newsletter is released. From this we learn:

The team is working on the Chapter 3 localization.

An internal deadline has been set for Chapter 4 to be content complete, and Toby has hired a producer to speed up development.

A mysterious Valentine's Card is sent out to a small number of people subscribed to the newsletter.

16 May 2024

A Mini-Newsletter is released. From this we learn:

The team is on track to meet the internal deadline for Chapter 4. 

A somewhat complicated gimmick is nearly complete.

"The release is still quite far"

30 July 2024

Issue 6 of the UT/DR Newsletter released. From this we learn:

All maps are done and all battles are playable for Chapter 4, with some more polish needed in other areas.

Three of Toby's friends were able to play through the entirety of Chapter 4.

Toby is no longer sure if Chapter 2 is the longest chapter.

Chapters 3 and 4 combined are longer than Chapters 1 and 2 combined.

Chapter 5's development is progressing smoothly.

Toby will need readers to help test a new Gamemaker function in the near future.

The "Quest to Release Chapter 3&4!!" is released, detailing the process still needed for Chapters 3 and 4 to release. 

I won't cover everything detailed in this here, but I recommend giving it a read if you're curious about just how close we really are to the release of Chapters 3 and 4 because, well, if this is anything to go by, we're close.

14 September 2024

Issue 7 of the UT/DR Newsletter is released. From this we learn:

Chapter 3's localization is in the testing phase. This process should be completed by the end of October.

Chapter 3 will likely begin PC testing in mid-October.

The internal deadline of 1 September was met for completing the main content of Chapter 4. 

A preliminary pass of Chapter 4's translation is being worked on.

Chapter 5 will be the main focus of the team going forward.

11 October 2024

In a tweet, Toby mentions that Chapter 3's localization is almost complete, and PC testing of Chapter 3 begins the following Tuesday (15 October 2024).

31 October 2024

Toby announces that Chapters 3 and 4 will 100% release in 2025.

25 November 2024

LTS Testing begins.

8 December 2024

The final LTS patch is released.

18 December 2024

Issue 8 of the UT/DR Newsletter is released. From this we learn:

Testing for the new Gamemaker feature seems to have gone okay.

Professional testing for the PC version of Chapter 3 has been complete.

Chapter 3 features a long section without save points.

Only console related aspects of Chapter 3 remain.

The first Japanese translation pass of Chapter 4 has been placed into the game.

Chapter 4 will begin PC testing soon.

Many aspects of Chapter 5 are in development at once. There is a steady rate of creation.

Reaffirmation that Chapters 3 and 4 will release in 2025.

6 January 2025

Toby posts on Bluesky revealing that Chapter 4 is now being tested by a professional team on PC.

Because he is unsure when the next newsletter will be, updates will be posted on Bluesky until then.

20 January 2025

In a post, Toby mentions that text and implementation for the translation are done and the team is just working on some lasting issues.

He also reveals that save points have been added to the light world of Chapter 4 after testers complained about the lack of them.

2 February 2025

In a series of posts, Toby reveals that translation and PC testing for Chapter 4 is winding down.

Tomorrow (3 February 2025), console testing begins with the goal of testing Chapters 1, 2, 3, and 4. 

Achievements will be added to the Playstation version of the game.

16 February 2025

In a post, Toby mentions PS5 testing has not yet begun. 

The team also just gained access to the technology that allows demo saves to be carried over to the main game, so that still needs to be implemented, too.

17 February 2025

Pluey

18 February 2025

Pluey is implemented.

25 February 2025

PS5 Testing begins.

3 March 2025

In a Bluesky post, Toby mentions that the team only reported one bug yesterday (2 March 2025), and that over 500 bugs have been reported since testing began on the PC version of Chapter 3 (15 October 2024).

...and that's everything so far. Please let me know if I missed anything, and I'll update this as we get more news and get closer to the release of Chapters 3 and 4!

[wanderingmind867]

Looking through my blogs archives always makes me feel sad and existential. Can you believe i've been on here for four years? I barely can. Gods, time feels way too fast. It feels like only yesterday that I was just creating my blog. Now I have 18,000 posts. I... I have lost all the words I could possibly use here. All I know is that this makes me deeply existential.

Anyways, a post from a while ago got no attention, so i'm gonna be repeating that post here. The last time i was free of a massive hyperfixation was like February to December of 2023. If you're up for a challenge, go look through my blog's archives for those months. You'll find lots of posts, all of them far more eclectic then my ones nowadays. I swear, the longer i'm on here, the more sedentary i feel i'm becoming. And looking through my archive earlier only made those feelings intensify. So if you can, i'd recommend looking through it. At least then I wouldn't be feeling so existential online.

[desertdollranch]

Dolls brands I never thought I'd own, part 4: Global PenPals

Meet Amity Anderson!

This doll was a tough cookie to track down. I first stumbled across her last year while searching for a completely different doll on eBay. I thought she was adorable, but priced way too high, so I let someone else have her. When I saw her come up again recently for a lot cheaper, I lost the bidding war. When she popped up unexpectedly a third time, I managed to snap her up right away.

The first time I saw her, I was curious about her origin, since the listing said nothing about the brand, Global PenPals. I figured it was someone's small business, because it's an unfortunate truth that many, many 18 inch doll companies produce beautiful and quality dolls for a few short years and then go out of business. Because she certainly didn't look poorly made or low quality; she obviously had a lot of love put into her production. I could tell she had a really nice wig and a carefully sculpted, realistic face mold. She was meant to be more than just a toy, but a little friend as well. That's what I liked about her. She was special, rare, obscure, and unique. And as much as I love my American Girl dolls, I also love the rare and obscure 18 inch dolls that have fallen into my lap over the years through pure luck. That has turned me into a connoisseur of obscure dolls. The rarer, the better.

So for that reason I couldn't get her off my mind. I became very fixated on finding one. I did a Google search that brought up nothing but the listing for her, plus a few dolls with similar brand names, or sites for finding an actual human pen pal. But I noticed the listing photo included a picture of her box, which had the URL of the brand's website. It was defunct, so I plugged into the Wayback Machine at archive.org to see what I could find.

Keep reading for a deep dive into The Global PenPals.

(Hello to anyone in the future who might be doing a web search about this doll! I'm sure you've found little to no information. I've put everything right here for your convenience!)

...

The site's first snapshot was taken in February 2011. It has a very short intro:

"This site is dedicated to children everywhere. Autumn Woods and Amity Anderson will begin pen pal corresponding with children in other parts of the world. They will learn about different living conditions and diverse cultural traditions. Will they discover that children are the same worldwide? Come along with us and see!"

None of the links on the sidebar were archived by the Wayback machine, so I looked at the next three snapshots, taken in July 2013, January 2014, and December 2014 (the final snapshot).

Now this snapshot displays a lot more content, although once again most of the site didn't get archived. The intro is more or less the same. But now we can see illustrations of the two main characters, Autumn Woods and Amity Anderson.

Clicking through the "Meet and learn more about Autumn" graphic linked to a page that had biographies for both characters.

Autumn Woods introduces herself first. She was born in October, hence her name, but she loves Christmas more. She lives in Kennewick, Washington with her parents and younger sister, and likes her school. She's athletic and loves to do cartwheels. Her best friend Amity lives in Basin City, near the farm where her grandparents live. She doesn't know a whole lot about the world outside of Kennewick, so she's looking forward to making pen pals all around the world.

Amity Anderson introduces herself next. She loves living on a farm in Basin City, and most of the other kids at her school are also from farming families, or live in the area seasonally, which has made her curious about the lives of other children of different background. Her family grows cherries, and sometimes the crops fail due to weather conditions. They also have lots of animals including dogs, cats, and cows. She has a secret hideout in the hay loft.

The next page linked at the top contains all of the pen pal letters to and from Autumn and Amity.

There are 10 pages of these letters. The first letter is dated June 11th of 2011, and the final one is dated August 14th of 2013.

Next link is Marcia's Dolls.

To sum it up, Global PenPals was started by Marcia Elovich in 2010. She had always sewn doll clothes for her granddaughter, and her husband built doll furniture. She used dolls to help schoolchildren learn more about the lives and perspectives of children all over the world. She modeled the dolls' faces on her granddaughter and niece, and hopes to introduce more dolls to the brand.

The next link is to the shop.

Only the Amity doll is being sold here. All the images are broken, but I can see that Amity cost $59.00.

The next tab, Media, is pretty much empty.

That's all that I can access with the Wayback Machine, but I didn't stop there.

I Googled Marcia Elovich and found the three Global PenPals books she has published.

These are current, no need to use the Wayback Machine. Here's the link to the list if you're curious about the books. You can click through and read summaries of each.

"About the Author" on the second and third books:

Marcia Harvey Elovich has enjoyed interacting with children in family, at school and other community settings. When she began looking forward to retirement from the local school district, she set up a website around two fictional characters, Amity Anderson and Autumn Woods, using her granddaughter and her niece as visual models for the character images she draws. Through the website, Marcia continues to story-tell to youngsters and adults alike. Amity lives on the farm in Basin City where, in fact, Marcia was raised, and she pursues many of the same interests and activities Marcia did while growing up with her best friend Linda. Autumn lives in town and attends Amistad Elementary School, where Marcia formerly worked as a para-eductor, and earlier as a nurse in the Kennewick School District. This was the birthplace of her peaked interest in interacting with children and later-in-life interest in education. Marcia has recently begun manufacturing of the character dolls and is now converting the website stories into children's books. Also within the framework of her stories, Marcia has interactions from her personal pen pals with whom she is communicating around the globe. Through contrast and compare, she can better present awareness of how alike we are from country to country, culture to culture, religion to religion. "Perhaps the next generation will be more compassionate, not merely tolerating diversity but embracing it!" she adds. In their retirement, Marcia works with her husband and sidekick Bob, marketing her dolls and his woodworked doll furniture. She has one young adult son living at home and an older son living within the community. Her daughter and grandchildren live out of state, so she has to love them long-distance. Through Bob, she has acquired a second daughter who lives in the area and a step-son living out of state. Marcia specifically wants to thank her mother and father, Bob and Kay Harvey, for providing a childhood almost as colorful as the fictional one of which she writes. They gave to her, her three brothers and many childhood friends their mentoring in an era when the village actually did help raise the children.

I also found Marcia's Pinterest profile. She has pinned exactly four images.

The first two are the illustrations seen on the website. The other two are pictures of the dolls.

This picture's caption:

"Amity Anderson if one of the first two characters at www.theglobalpenpals.com and the first to be manufactured as a doll. She is vinyl with soft body and has beautiful peach complexion, with perfect detail down to tiny doll- scale freckles across her nose. She comes in clothes as seen, turquoise tennis shoes, and the matching elastic headband on her long, tangle-free auburn hair. I designed the doll after my own granddaughter. Lovely presentation box designed solely for The Global PenPals."

This confirms that the doll I have is indeed Amity, not Autumn as I had sort of guessed. Amity is illustrated with bangs, but it seems that changed at some point in the doll's design.

I guess that's Autumn on the left? I see no indication on the site or elsewhere that she was ever sold, so it's possible she never made it past the prototype stage.

There's very little else out there about the dolls. A few pictures on Worthpoint with captions stating what I've already put here.

Amity seems to be one of those ultra-rare dolls that only a few collectors know about. After losing out on two other listings, I know that at least two other people do have one and know what Amity is worth. But I have no idea exactly how many dolls were ever produced and sold before the brand disappeared, which probably happened within three years of their debut.

I wonder if their failure may have been due to the price point, $59, which seems very low for a doll with such a nice wig, sleep eyes, a cloth body, a beautifully designed box, and proprietary clothing.

[slightlybiasedbookreviews]

Books read in February 2025

Wind and Truth Brandon Sanderson 🎵 read by Kate Reading and Michael Kramer

The Thursday Murder Club Richard Osman 📖

A Court of Thorns and Roses Sarah J Maas🎵 read by Jennifer Ikeda

Lord Edgware Dies Agatha Christie 📖

The Darwin Affair Tim Mason 🎵 read by Derek Perkins

Akata Witch Nnedi Okorafor 🎵 read by Yetide Badaki

Both Yetide Badaki and Derek Perkins are really good readers. If you're looking for a good audiobook to listen to find something read by Badaki, she's great.

I'm really enjoying Okorafor's The Nsibidi Scripts series. It's a fresh take on wizard school while tying in so much Nigerian and West African folklore and history. I love getting to learn about stories and culture that I haven't been exposed to as much in my life. I always enjoy when fantasy novels draw from folklore and it's been fun to see an author do that with folklore that I'm less familiar with.

More talk with spoilers about Wind and Truth below the cut.

Currently Reading

Storm Front Jim Butcher📖

Akata Warrior Nnedi Okorafor 🎵 read by Yetide Badaki

Wind and Truth was a great ending to the first arc of the Stormlight Archive. I like how the series works through various mental health issues that the characters are facing. I wish that I had this series when I was an anxious depressed teenager. I love that one of the main arcs is resolved with therapy.

There were things (well, thing) I wish were a little more resolved, like Gavinor being totally ignored at the end. I needed more with his story! He needs a hug! I am so upset that Jasnah doesn't remember him when she's feeling lonely; they have each other! I want to know about Gav and Lift's reunion. Hearing her feelings might change things for him. I understand why it wasn't in the book since it could be bulky but I have feelings!!!

Otherwise I really enjoyed most of the story endings, even if I want just a little more, I can imagine things and wait for the next arc to see if there might be answers. Part of me wishes I had a physical copy to go back through for the additional bits from Szeth's wife (whose name do not remember). Also listening to the book means I'm not 100% sure if it's "Knights" or "Nights" of Wind and Truth because both kind of work. I'm realising I can just look that up now...

[venturethighs]

sorry for the notes spam I've been gone too long and needed to catch up on all the amazing venture content you always bring! love all the aus so far and it's only February (March starts tomorrow already wth)

hucow! reader is by far my favorite next to your pet au and superhero au, sprinkle in some j*no hate one way or another is just the cherry on top ♡

speaking of, I'm so glad there's someone else who hates spacerocks I feel like I'm yelling in the void about it (as someone who's the same age as j*no but I just feel weird thinking about shipping myself with venture in an actual way and shipping myself with any character I'm too aro for it tbh lol but man do I love shipping ocs with characters instead)

anyways I'm back to lurk and enjoy all your ramblings and fics! I could send this as an anon but at this point I'll forget to sign my asks everytime lol hope you're having a great day full of venture and their love ♡ ~ 🐺

Oh MAN- I'm glad you enjoy hucow! reader, they're a sweetie for sure! I was honestly scared most people wouldn't like the lactation part of it but I was pleasantly surprised to find out the opposite. As for superhero au? I need to start talking about it again tbh it's definitely a fun one to talk about!

I love all my aus, even if they tend to go quiet for a while. I cherish all my little Ventures! 🙂‍↕️

I'm also really glad to hear that spacerocks has a lot of mixed reviews from people. I thought l'd get a lot more hate because the big majority of Venture Nation absolutely adores it for whatever reason. I never cared for it even when her age wasn't released. I never will, either. It's just creepy how much she acts like overly confused little girl. Venture would never be attracted to that.

I'm glad you enjoy shipping your ocs with them, though! I like to make my self insert a bit different for every au so that's kind of in the same vein! Sometimes I like to recreate what they look like on Everskies as well.

Anyway. 🐮

Never feel bad for spamming! I love the interaction and it makes my Venture loving heart super happy to see that I'm still relevant! You could go through my entire archive and spam like everything and I'd never complain, so no worries there!

I hope you also have a wonderful day full of Venture and good things! Thank you for sending this in!

[starlight-rogue]

Come for a Cuddle?

Come for a Cuddle? - Starlight_Rogue - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

I always think of Astarion's line, "come for a cuddle?" when the Dark Urge wakes him up in the middle of the night. That has to mean this isn't the first time they had woken him in the middle of the night, and previous times it was for cuddles. That inspired this scene between my Durge Eris and Astarion <3 (my addition to the BG3 2025 February challenge)

Come for a Cuddle?

Gentle hands pulled through her hair, detangling it with every stroke.  She heard humming harmonizing with the sea as deft hands formed braids around her horns.  Safe.  Her body felt smaller than it did now, and that was made more apparent when she turned around and had to crane her neck to see a woman above her.  The one who was braiding her hair.  Mother.

Eris couldn’t make out the details of her face, but she could make out a beautiful smile upon the woman’s lips, and she felt the warmth the tiefling emitted towards her.  The warmth that filled Eris when she leaned down and kissed the crown of her head.  Safety.

Suddenly the scenery changed around her, screams ricocheting from above board and blood soaking through the wood, a few drips landing on her face as she craned her neck to try and figure out what was going on.  Hesitation, fear, confusion, resolve.  Defend the ship, defend your home.   Words that had been instilled in her from a young age.  Her grabbing the nearest weapon she could find, a dagger too big for her hands, and running upstairs to join the fight.  Lightning radiating from her mother, felling five men in one go.  Not seeing someone coming up from behind her.  Eris screamed, and before she knew what she was doing, she was sitting on top of a body, still warm but rapidly cooling.  Unseeing eyes stared directly at her, and she was unable to look away, enamored with how it felt for her hands to be inside the body of the invader.  Feeling stronger, invincible.

Before she could blink the body beneath her turned into the woman who braided her hair.  One of the woman’s hands was clutching a dagger impaled in Eris’s chest, missing her heart by mere inches.  The other hand, tucked her hair behind her ear, heartbreak on her face.  Blood seeped from the killing wound Eris had inflicted in kind, flowing and flowing and flowing, nonstop, until Eris began to drown in red, trying to swim, up and up and up. The liquid was too thick and she was going to drown in it.  

Clawing her way through, refusing to cave, refusing this to be the end.  Finally, her hand broke the seal on the blood, and she burst out, landing on top of the blood lake.  Red, everywhere the eye could see, from the lake beneath her, the skies above, and even the sun was a deep red, stuck in the setting position.  Never fully going dark.  Never actually illuminating anything. One look down, and she saw her entire body drenched in blood, hands bearing the same dagger that killed all of those before.  One look up saw a pile of corpses, but her breath didn’t catch until she saw the very top was decorated by her companions.  Lae’zels limbs were bent in the wrong direction, the warriors body broken.  Wyll’s second eye ripped out to match his first, the empty socket mocking her.  Karlach’s fake heart torn out of her chest, Shadowheart’s in kind lay feet away from her body.  A purple robe, marking a body that must be the wizards, but the head was feet away from the body, blame etched onto it, screaming at her silently.  Her heart began racing, panicking, she didn’t see white anywhere in there, where was he, where was his body.  The one who mattered, who had seen her depravity and lightened her load.  Who she shared companionship with, who she was starting to fall for. 

A hand touched her shoulder gently, “Darling…?”  She almost sobbed in relief, twisting around to embrace him, but when she did, the face that greeted her went from loving concern to shock.  His eyes looked down, and hers followed to see a dagger impaled in his abdomen, and her hand being the one who did it.  

“No, nononono”. He started to sink down, and she quickly ripped the dagger out, trying to apply pressure as blood gushed out.  “I didn’t mean to, please don’t leave me.  Please”.  She ripped her top off and pressed it all to his wound, but even that became soaked through and his blood remained flowing, filling the lake beneath them.

“Why did you do this to me?” Incredulous words, followed by his hand reaching up to cup her cheek.  Before it would make contact, it fell short and his entire body went limp.  She began screaming, blood running down her face instead of tears, as everyone she had loved or cared about died in front of her, nothing left except the bloody sky and earth.

She awoke with a start, tears streaming down her face. As she began to wipe them away, she curled further into herself, tail wrapping around her at an attempt of comfort.  Following that she attempted to fall back asleep, alas demons plagued her.  How much of what she’d seen was nightmare, and how much was her past.  At the very least she knew of her capability for horrific acts, considering how the sweet Bard tiefling ended up when she spent the night in the camp.    

Perhaps she had been sweet once, but she had also been a monster.  Killing wasn’t her issue, it was the lack of control around killing that had her terrified.  Who was to say she wouldn’t try to kill one of her companions, or gods forbid, Astarion?

Suddenly she couldn’t get the image of a butchered Astarion out of her mind, replacing her memory of Alfira’s mangled corpse with that of his.  As it kept playing through her head, the visions rushing through, a sense of dread engulfed her.  What if she had killed him and these visions were real?  

Small tremors wracked through her body at the thought, the possibility.  The instant she thought about him possibly having been in danger, she sprang from her bedroll, needing to verify with her own eyes that he was alive (well as alive as a vampire could be). 

Pulling the front of the tent to the side, she entered.  Hovering over his bedroll, she tried to see if he was taking any breaths, but after a minute of watching she saw his chest stay completely still.  However, she knew he was not technically alive, and he once confided in her the only reason he still breathed was to feel more alive.  She scanned around him again, searching for any blood that might indicate wounds, but again she saw nothing.  

After several moments of contemplating whether or not to get a stick to wake him, his eyes sleepily opened, taking in Eris’s visage.  “Yes?  What is it I can do for you at this hour?”  He stretched, showing off his abdomen as he sat up to look at her better, and Eris’s form trembled from the relief.

“Thank god you are okay”, and with that she launched herself at him, completely knocking him over, as she nuzzled herself into his side.  She felt his hesitation, his body stiff as a board beneath her.  But as the moment prolonged, she eventually felt his body slowly relax, and one of his arms circle around her, pulling her in to settle against him.  His hand came up to her head, and slowly started stroking through her hair, her breaths finally coming easier now that she knew he was safe.

That is where they stayed, a quiet peace filling the air.  Astarion started taking measured breaths now that he was awake, and her head rose and fell with each inhale and exhale.  Light scratches on her scalp had her almost purring, and she felt safe.  A feeling all too rare.

Eventually though, her brain began ruminating over her dreams, trying to sparse out the truth from the fiction.  She moved so she could take in the elf’s face.  His eyes were closed, almost a soft smile graced his lips.  “...Astarion?”

“Hm?”  

“You know I would never do anything on purpose to hurt you, right?”  

At this his hands stilled in her hair, his eyes languidly opening to meet her beautifully mismatched ones.  “What’s bringing this up all of a sudden?”

Voice quiet, she broke her gaze with him to look at the walls of his tent instead.  “I don’t remember killing that bard.  I just remember waking up with her blood covering my hands, body horrifically brutalized.  And something gives me the impression, that type of sight was not an uncommon occurrence in my previous life.”  The words she next said, a shameful confession. “I don’t think who I was had a lot of choice.”  

Tears slowly started creeping to her eyes, but she let them fall.  She needed him to hear the next part.  Needed to make this vow to him.  “So I need you to know, with the choice I do have, I will protect you with everything in me”

His hand moved from her head, grabbed her chin and angeled it upwards to bring her gaze to meet his once again.  The look on his face was indecipherable.  She could tell he was searching for some answers within her own, but what those answers were she couldn’t tell.  Finally, in a soft but confused voice he simply asked, “Why?”

“Because you truly see me.  You have not judged me, nor forsaken me.  But most of all, I feel like you truly know what it is like to do what you have to in order to simply survive.  For your body to not listen to the commands you give it, no matter how desperately your heart cries out.  To steel yourself against the world.  I do not feel alone with you.  And that is worth everything.”

An unknown emotion flashed in his eyes, as he truly took her in.  Slowly, he lowered his head to hers, lips meeting lips, kissing her as if nothing else existed in the world.  She felt a swelling in her heart as her hand slowly came up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck, adjusting her neck angle to be able to kiss him more fully.  

His tongue gently asked for permission and she granted it, a soft sigh exhaling as he began softly exploring her mouth, bringing the two of them closer.  She lost herself in him, in the sensations they were feeling together, content to just stay where they were forever.  

Eventually, she felt his hand begin to creep towards her front and down.  When she felt it start to slide under her shorts, she placed her hand on top of his, stopping him in his tracks.  With one last kiss, she softly pulled her mouth away from his, her other hand moving to gently cup his cheek.

“Star, we don’t have to do anything more.  Not tonight.”

Confusion rolled off of him, but he tried to mask it with a smirk.  “What, you don’t want me to make you feel immeasurably good?  Make you lose control in a different way?”  He tried to go back to her lips, but she slightly pulled away, shaking her head at him.

She gave him a small smile, her thumb rubbing his cheek as she saw him almost imperceptibly lean further into her hand.  Stretching up, she placed a sweet kiss on top of his head, before bringing their foreheads together.   A few breaths there, just feeling the other's presence.  She felt his tadpole begin to probe at hers, and she let him in to see and feel everything she was in that minute.  The peace, the warmth.  The utter contentment.  

“This is enough.  If you could just hold me with your arms tonight, so I know I am not alone and you are safe?”

He slowly nodded, and she settled back down, arms clutching him close, head resting on his chest.  He wrapped his arms around her just as tightly, a silent promise to not let her go.  As she slowly drifted back to sleep, her last thought was ‘this must be what home feels like’.

[theladyofshalott1989]

In honor of the first anniversary of Like Moths to a Flame on Wattpad, here's a smutty one-shot for y'all.

The idea was sparked by an episode of Fellow Travelers on Showtime. It’s a bit of a departure from my usual style, but it was an absolute joy to write. While it's set within the Like Moths to a Flame series, it can be read as a standalone. Enjoy! :)

Mood: “you should see me in a crown” by Billie Eilish

You can read it at the link above OR I have also posted it below (after the cut). Warning: It is explicit!

On the second Tuesday of February in the fortuitous year of 1899, Sebastian Evans-Sallow returned home to a hell of a surprise.

Our esteemed protagonist froze in the middle of the entryway, his hand on the doorknob. Staring slack-jawed at his husband, he somehow managed to form the words: “What in Merlin’s name are you wearing?” His voice cracked very noticeably in the middle of his shocked inquiry, which was deeply unfortunate, but upon deeper reflection, was perfectly understandable. Sebastian hadn’t recalled his voice doing that since he was a pre-teen. He chuckled in spite of himself.

Damien shouted out in alarm, throwing himself clumsily through the nearest doorway. “You weren’t supposed to be home for another half an hour!” He punctuated his proclamation with an exasperated huff. It was, frankly, adorable.

“I wanted to get ready before the event,” Sebastian said, having recovered enough now to enter their humble abode. He shut the door quietly behind him and tiptoed through the hall.

“Well, you need to leave and come back in ten minutes! It was supposed to be a surprise!”

Sebastian scrambled to find a hiding place. Ah yes, one of the bookshelves should suffice. He pressed his torso against the side of the nearest one, finding an angle that would hopefully keep him out of Damien’s line of sight. It was just in time as mere moments later Damien popped his head around the corner of the doorway.

“Sebastian?” Damien called out.

Sebastian didn’t reply. He brought his fist to his mouth and bit down on his knuckle to hold back a laugh.

Damien gradually eased himself through the door. “Bash, did you leave?” Their orange tabby cat, Tabitha, slunk behind him. Wherever Damien went, the cat followed. She was clingy like that. To be fair, Damien also encouraged it.

Sebastian observed his two housemates, his beloved husband and his stubborn feline-child, with bated breath. Tabitha certainly knew he was in the house - the cat was annoyingly observant - but he hoped that she and he had an understanding. If Tabitha didn’t give Sebastian away, there would be treats. Lots and lots of treats.

“He left. Good,” Damien said to the cat, making an attempt to reach down and gingerly pat her head, but failing rather miserably. “Can’t have him ruining the surprise for himself.” He straightened back up. As to why he failed in his cat-patting endeavor? Well, one would if they were unaccustomed to wearing a corset. Which Damien was wearing right at this very moment.

What a time to be alive! What a glorious day to come home early! What a… Damien turned around and Sebastian got a good look at him, not just a side profile, for the first time. His breath hitched. His trousers suddenly became uncomfortably tight. Merlin’s arse, Damien was a bloody wonder. This man could do things to him. How did Sebastian ever win over this alarmingly beautiful man? His husband was absolute perfection.

Was Damien seriously considering wearing a corset, and presumably a dress, to Sirona’s Valentine’s Day ball? Or was this wondrous ensemble just for Sebastian? If it was just for him… they very well might not be attending the ball tonight after all. They wouldn’t have any energy left.

Well, Sebastian would just have to wait and find out. Although how much longer he could wait before he burst, he couldn’t say.

Damien made his way back into their bedroom. Sebastian heard rustling and a string of muted exclamations, although nothing worse than “Blast!" since Damien was a proper gentleman. When he was presumably finished, Damien floated back into the living room in a full dress, lace finish and everything, the full works. It was positively sensational.

Sebastian nearly lost it then and there. He stuffed his fist back into his mouth, this time biting down harder than he intended. And then, Damien spun in a circle. Scratch that, Sebastian was done for. He fell back on his arse with a loud thump. The noise brought Tabitha straight to him - damn cat! - alerting Damien to his hiding place.

“Bash!” Damien exclaimed, placing his hands on his narrower than usual waist. He pouted prettily.

From Sebastian’s vantage point on the floor, Damien looked so different, and yet so ravishing, that he struggled to compose his face. A part of him needed to laugh, quite badly, more from astonishment than ridiculousness, for Damien was too lovely in that baby blue dress to elicit anything but pure joy. The other part of him needed to ravage his husband immediately. That part of him, thankfully, took over entirely.

Sebastian scrambled up and threw himself at Damien. At his sudden movement, Tabitha yowled and bolted from the room. Damien let out a shocked gasp as Sebastian grabbed him by the waist and backed him up against the wall.

“Hello there, beautiful,” Sebastian said, his chestnut-brown eyes boring into Damien’s golden-brown ones. He bit his bottom lip as he analyzed Damien’s reaction.

Damien's eyes widened for the briefest of moments and his lips parted slightly, awaiting an expected snog. His pupils darkened in kind. Damien’s body, which was wedged against the wall, pressing against Sebastian’s, responded as Sebastian knew it would, but the many layers of his dress were stubbornly in the way. Sebastian released his hands from Damien’s waist and dropped down, lifting the dress, but finding it more difficult than he anticipated.

When he finally managed to tame the heavy layers, Sebastian eased back up and, breathing harder than he intended, asked, “Is this ensemble just for me or was it meant to be shared with the rest of the world?” His lips hovered over Damien’s lips, teasing him mercilessly.

Damien moaned before replying, “You, Bash. Only for you.”

Sebastian grinned wolfishly, leaned back in, and made contact with Damien’s perfect mouth. “Good answer,” he replied between kisses. “Top marks.”

They attacked each other greedily, hands exploring each others’ bodies as they were often wont to do. Even though they’d been together for what felt like ages now - Sebastian could barely remember a time when Damien wasn’t his constant, cherished shadow - Damien’s touch was still exciting, electrifying, truly invigorating. The dress was a nice touch though: different, captivating. But it was time for it to come off.

Sebastian abruptly stopped his focused ministrations. Where did one begin? The dress was practically a prison. There were far too many buttons and ties to be practical.

“How did you manage to get this damned contraption on?” he asked as his eyes scanned Damien’s unusually confined frame.

“Well, my dear,” Damien said, “there is this very handy thing called magic. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it.”

“That does ring a bell,” Sebastian replied with a smirk, finally finding a series of buttons scattered across Damien's chest that hinted at a potential escape route. “I might have heard something about it in passing.” He began undoing the buttons, planting a kiss on Damien’s bare skin, a light patch of hair tickling Sebastian's nose. 

“I think you have it sorted. Mostly.” Damien provided Sebastian assistance by untying some ribbons on his right side, revealing another slew of buttons that had been hidden under a plait of fabric.

“Ridiculous,” Sebastian mumbled under his breath. With the dress now loosened, he pulled it down past Damien’s hips, and the hefty garment cascaded around Damien’s feet. Damien promptly stepped out of it as Sebastian stripped off his own, far less constrictive, clothing.

Duty done, Sebastian clutched Damien by the shoulders and spun him around, shoving him firmly against the wall once more. Damien tensed very briefly, but quickly relaxed, melting under Sebastian’s grip.

The corset remained on. The hardness of it, the unique sensation of it against Sebastian’s chest, was a new, welcome experience. Sebastian traced his hands up and down the whalebone, stroking hard so Damien could feel the pressure of it, the pressure of Sebastian’s all-consuming desire for him.

Satisfied, Sebastian then nestled his head in the crook between Damien’s neck and shoulder. “Ready?” he whispered.

“Always.”

Sebastian dropped his hand to Damien’s bare arse and squeezed, eliciting a quiet chuckle from Damien’s lips. Sebastian brought his hand back up to his mouth, licked it generously, then brought it down to his cock. He lubricated himself quicker than usual, since he was already practically drowning in pre-cum. Once ready, he declared, “Brace yourself, love,” and entered Damien, thrusting immediately, just as Damien liked.

Damien groaned in appreciation, craning his neck to the side to lock eyes with Sebastian. Eye contact was key, even from this angle. Damien and Sebastian preferred to climax while observing the minute reactions on each others’ faces. Sebastian never ceased to enjoy the subtle wrinkling at the corners of Damien’s eyes, more pronounced now in adulthood, as the pleasure hit.

And with years of practice, Damien could now orgasm in this position, with Sebastian inside him, without even touching himself. Sebastian was still rather chuffed by that fact. The first time it happened, shortly after they were engaged, Sebastian had been so inspired that they spent the entire night in congress. They had been lucky it was the weekend, for in the morning they were so exhausted - having each orgasmed a handful of times - they slept the entire day away. It was one of the best nights of Sebastian’s life.

Sebastian was pulled out of his reverie by the familiar sensation of his cock hardening further inside Damien, building up in anticipation of release. Damien’s breaths came more hurriedly and Sebastian watched as the muscles in his jaw tightened. Damien was close; Sebastian was too.

“Come for me, my love,” Sebastian murmured into Damien’s ear. Damien didn’t hesitate. He came as commanded, moaning with pleasure, his body shuddering under Sebastian. Sebastian followed forthwith, his breath stolen away from him as he reveled in the explosive bursts, sending a shiver of ecstasy down his spine all the way down to his curled toes. Ah, bliss.

Once his wits were somewhat recovered, Sebastian released himself from Damien, then pecked him lightly on the side of his neck. Damien turned around slowly, almost lazily, a dazed expression on his face. Sebastian didn’t blame him. He had once asked Damien to describe what it was like to orgasm without ejaculating. Damien’s response had been astonishing.

“It’s more intense, completely incapacitating,” he had said, a wistful look in his eyes. “Time stops, your face blurs, everything around me turns into a swirl of colors. It’s… beautiful, like a work of art.”

Sebastian hoped that someday he’d be granted such a mind-altering experience, but until that day, he was more than satisfied. He had his health, a wonderful home, and a fulfilling job, but most importantly, he had Damien. Damien—his kindred spirit, the love of Sebastian’s life. Whether clad in a man's or a woman's attire, Damien had the power to bring Sebastian to his knees with pleasure. Figuratively speaking, of course. What more could he ask for?

[levaagrace]

I’m gonna show y’all two photos and a transcript and then I’m gonna ask y’all to think about exactly what kind of connections can be made from them, alright?

[Photo IDs : screen caps of two The Magnus Archives episodes, the first being for episode 79, Hide And Seek, and episode 81, A Guest For Mr. Spider. In brief, I highlighted the dates the episodes were set. February 16th 2017 and February 18th 2017 respectively. End ID.]

Now. Here’s the quote.

[Photo ID : transcript from Episode 81, A Guest For Mr. Spider, of Georgie verbatim asking “You… looking for a new job yet?” End ID.]

Now that that’s out of the way… let’s talk about the presumption that Jon made his way to Georgie’s covered in Leitner’s blood. Or even just appearing otherwise disheveled and traumatized.

I will forgive people for not realizing this, but it’s apparently canonical that Leitner dying and Jon recording his statement about his childhood trauma was two days apart. If that. So here we have Jon in a state of total mental breakdown. Being informed he’s beholden to some evil entity and becoming a tool for it to use for evil by the first person he ever hated as a child and then seeing the bashed in remains of his head just barely 48 hours prior. Going to the only place he believes he could be safe. And after a brief convo about dishes and the cat, he’s asked if he’s trying… to find… a new… job…

I’m not gonna speculate about what happened between the moment Jon showed up on Georgie’s doorstep to her coming home from wherever she was. I’m gonna talk about facts and the fact is if he gave any indication that he was in distress, her asking that would be seen as a dick move. Now. The fact that she even alludes to not believing him a bit on in the conversation leads me to think it was apparent he was not okay, that things weren’t okay, and he desperately needed help.

But she still asks if he’s looking for a new job.

Do I think, potentially, this was just her way of broaching the subject in a way that won’t put his hackles up? Maybe. But I find that fairly hard to believe. Even with all her reassurance that it’s fine he’s staying there. Cause that’s not what the tone of her voice indicated. And that’s not what her eventual bringing up of her disbelief about an ‘employment dispute’ indicated.

Georgie Barker let Jon into her home and not two days later asked when he’d be out while condescending to him about losing his job, home, and possessions.

It’s very VERY clear here that she had no idea what happened. It’s very clear she wanted to figure out why he was in her home so he would get out. There is no concern for his well-being beyond getting him able to leave. Yet we’re expected to believe that she’s a kind individual with his best interests at heart.

Her next appearance is to be angry at him for… what… reading paper into an old recorder? Staring at paper and not sleeping — on a couch, I might add — for four days? She says she has no clue, yet sees Jon act ~weird~ about paper for four days and comes to a conclusion, while right, has no logical sense unless he’s completely losing it. But instead of understanding, she berates him for it. She knows something is wrong with him but all she does is tell him to quit it and get over it.

At this point, I would be remiss if I didn’t say that Jon was absolutely taking advantage of Georgie’s hospitality. But truer to the point, she never should’ve let him in her home in the first place. If she was not capable of or willing to help him navigate his issues, seeing him on her doorstep and in distress, she should’ve turned him away immediately. Or at the least tell him exactly how long he was welcome. Which was, as seen, two nights.

I’m not gonna go through every other instance of Georgie in season 3. It’d take forever and I think I’ve made my point. My point being that if you’re gonna offer assistance to someone in dire straits, it might be kinder to tell them fuck off from the outset rather than tell them at every step how much of a burden they are for even existing in your presence. If your ~boundaries~ are so fucking important then maybe enforce them to begin with instead of acting holier-than-thou.

[zenonaa]

Fandom: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Fukawa Touko/Togami Byakuya Characters: Fukawa Touko, Togami Byakuya, Naegi Makoto Summary: After Togami is 'forced' to eat Fukawa's Valentine's Day chocolate, he enlists Naegi's help to find out how much it cost so he can conpensate her appropriately.

Comments: Day 1, Gift! Valentine's Day fic in October, why not?

💖 Please like, reblog, leave kudos and/or comment on AO3 💖

***

Before Byakuya Togami learned to read, he would tug on his butler’s trouser leg until Aloysius brought him to his mansion’s library. Behind the carved wooden door, books upon books filled Byakuya’s vision. Some sat low enough for his toddler hands to grab. Others soared high on shelves only ladders could reach. Once Aloysius had found a book that Byakuya didn’t throw to the floor, they would sit together on a sofa bench and Byakuya would point at the words he wanted Aloysius to read aloud.

Hope’s Peak’s library wasn’t as big as the one in his childhood home, but it sufficed. The recently opened library in the east quarter of campus spanned two floors, stitched together by winding staircases. As Byakuya emerged into the library, he scanned his surroundings and found it almost vacant of people.

Perfect. Byakuya liked to spend evenings here, and he liked to do so undisturbed. Despite the darkening sky visible through the window wall, the interior shone metallic silver. Optimal reading conditions. He grabbed a book from the crime section and sat down at one of the many tables dotted around. For the next several hours, he intended to read in peace and quiet.

“This is for you.”

Not even ten minutes could have passed. Immediately recognising the voice, Byakuya grimaced and looked up. Touko Fukawa stood by his table. His eyes lowered from her pink face to the dark green box in her grubby hands.

“What is that?” he asked, though he already knew because today was the fourteenth of February. Valentine’s Day. 

It was also why the library was especially empty. Everyone else was either on a romantic date or partying with their friends. Sayaka Maizono organised a gathering for the girls in their class, which he knew because Touko loudly declined the invitation in their classroom a few days ago. And he also knew most of the guys planned to eavesdrop on said party, spearheaded by Leon, Yasuhiro and Hifumi. For ‘Man’s Greatest Ambition’, for free chocolate and to fit in in that order. Fools. 

Byakuya didn’t need to concern himself with that sort of uncouth thing. His sperm would one day be sent off and used to artificially inseminate women from around the globe, all appraised and deemed to be of exemplary quality. Then he would be coupled with the mother of whoever was chosen to be his heir. Even then, that would only be for appearances. His parents hadn’t been in the same continent since he was selected to be his father’s heir.

Which meant Touko, standing there with her hunched shoulders and messy braids, was doomed the moment the plan first sprouted in her barren brain. 

“They’re chocolates,” she said.

Irritation pinched between his brows. “What possessed you to blight my eyesight with that monstrosity?”

“I...” Touko faltered.

He pointed at the box. “Throw it in the garbage immediately.”

“B-But...!”

“Can you not follow a simple order? Let me make it even simpler: leave.”

Touko shifted her weight between feet, gripping the box tightly like she thought it might fly away. Byakuya pushed up his glasses and returned his gaze to the book. A few moments later, he heard her footsteps retreat, growing quieter and quieter until he could hear her no more.

After her departure, the only sounds were the buzz of the library lighting and flutter of paper as he turned the pages. As he trudged through stilted prose. Unclear metaphors. Paragraphs describing women’s anatomy by someone who knew even less about them than Hifumi Yamada. 

By the end of the first quarter, he no longer cared if the murderer was the victim’s wife or a fellow board member. It was probably the butler, anyway. Byakuya shut the book, intending to seek out another, only to freeze when he saw a certain object on the table.

The box of chocolates that Touko should have taken with her.

His teeth gritted together. What a hopeless girl. Now he would have to go out of his way to dispose of them. Before enrolling at Hope’s Peak, whenever a classmate gave him chocolates, he would pass them along to his staff who would whisk them away to be tossed into the trash. When he became the sole heir, his father took him on a tour of the Togami Waste Disposal Centre. One section was dedicated to the destruction of frivolous gifts.

He remembered his father placing a hand onto his young teenage shoulder as conveyor belts chugged and machinery clunked.

“Why do you think we do this?” his father had said as a machine hacked apart a neatly wrapped box. It chewed and snarled before regurgitating cardboard vomit into a waste bin, chocolate chunks like teeth mixed in the refuse.

“In case they’re laced with poison?” had been Byakuya’s response.

“That’s one reason. But even if we were sure they are regular chocolate, they still need getting rid of. Love is like chocolate, Byakuya. It may taste pleasurable, but it’s bad for you. It will rot away your insides. Togamis do not indulge in such weaknesses.”

Young Byakuya had nodded. “Yes, Togami-sama.”

Older Byakuya rose to his feet. Just the sight of the box made his skin crawl. Navy ribbon strangled the forest green foil like a hand around a throat. They weren’t even colours associated with Valentine’s day. The sooner it was obliterated, the better. But he would dispose of it later. After he finished reading everything he wanted to read. He wouldn’t allow Touko’s mistake to alter his plans. While he searched for a better book than the dross he had acquired before, he hoped the box of chocolates would self-combust by the time he returned to the table. 

It didn’t, continuing to exist. Byakuya started reading again. Like before, the only sounds to be heard were paper rustling and the overhead lights humming. 

Until his stomach rumbled.

No one was around to hear it, yet he still cringed. It was a ghastly, unsophisticated noise. Pursing his lips, he read on, even as his stomach clenched and hardened. He had eaten a light dinner that day. Tonkatsu pork. But that wasn’t his fault because he had wanted to eat quickly so he could return to the library sooner.

Another gurgle escaped his gut. His shoulders squared and he held the book closer to his face. When his stomach rumbled again, he grimaced and lowered the book. And saw the box of chocolates on the table.

No. Absolutely not.

Byakuya almost shoved the open pages into his face, but he wasn’t a baby lacking object permanence. As if he had X-ray vision, he could see the box of chocolates sitting menacingly on the table. Though, he hadn’t actually seen the chocolates themselves. Just the outer wrapping. But there had to be chocolates within it.

His stomach growled. The noise wrung his body’s every nerve. Tightening his grip on the book, he tried to read more, except after a few sentences, he realised he couldn’t recall what he had just read. Shapes resembling words floated in his head before dissolving. He went back and tried reading one line. One single line. 

By the time he reached the end of the compound sentence, the beginning had already washed away. A howl heaved his stomach and this time choked out a gasp from his lips. Byakuya slammed down the book and grabbed the box. He wasn’t going to eat them. Death appealed more than allowing a single chocolate to touch his tongue. All he wanted to do was see what they looked like. As soon as he saw how ugly and unappetising they were, he would be turned off immediately.

Byakuya tugged on the ribbon, but the bow’s tight knot wouldn’t loosen. How counterproductive. Surely it made more sense for it to unravel easily so it could be opened quicker. After a few minutes of picking and pinching and pulling, he managed to break into the box. Inside was a spread of milk and dark chocolates, all packed into individual paper cases. Some of the chocolates were round, others square. A few were drizzled in chocolate, and a couple had nuts on them.

How thoughtless of Touko. What if he was allergic to nuts?

He wasn’t, but still.

To his displeasure, looking at the chocolates didn’t make him lose his appetite. His stomach continued to pang. Ache. With a glower, he adjusted his glasses. The chocolates continued existing. He pulled out his pocket watch and checked the time. The cafeteria didn’t shut for another hour, so he had time to grab something edible to eat. 

But then he would have to leave the library. And then return. And then resettle. He picked up a round chocolate piece crowned with dark flakes. It would be fine if he only ate one.

Besides, someone might come in and take his book during his absence. 

Byakuya popped the chocolate into his mouth. Chewed. Swallowed.

Someone could sneak in and spike his coffee when he was out of the room. And he didn’t want to brew a whole new cup.

Chewed. Swallowed.

Coffee actually paired well with the chocolates. He selected another. Dark, with green shavings. Matcha.

Someone might hear his stomach rumble on the way to the cafeteria.

Chewed. Swallowed. Another.

He might get a cramp in his leg while walking.

With one hand, he held his book, while his other pecked away at the box of chocolates. No two chocolates were the same. Each presented a unique texture, a different taste. Byakuya reached for another chocolate only for his fingers to rustle empty paper cases. 

He looked. He had eaten them all.

He had eaten all of the chocolates given to him by Touko Fukawa.

He stared in horror.

***

The next morning, even after he brushed his teeth for ten minutes straight, a sickly film continued to cling to the inside of his mouth. In front of his bathroom mirror, he tried rinsing the taste away with water, then mouthwash, then water again, but the chocolate seemed to have sunk in past his gums, wedged between his teeth and burrowed into the back of his throat.

Coffee didn’t drown the tang either.

Still, he had an entire day to dedicate to dealing with this quandary. A ‘teacher training’ day had been instated, meaning all students had no lessons scheduled until tomorrow. Despite its name, it was actually a ‘recover from the previous day’ day. Many teachers had gone out to a karaoke bar and woke up hungover. One rumour going around claimed Koichi Kizakura spent the night in the same bed as the headmaster.

In any case, the lack of lessons meant Byakuya wouldn’t be forced into close proximity with Touko. He needed to sort out this whole chocolate dilemma before she showed up and made things too bothersome. To achieve this, as pained as he was to admit it, he needed the aid of a certain someone. 

Fortunately, this certain someone could often be found in the last places Touko would think to search for Byakuya in. The swimming pool and art room turned out to be a bust, but Byakuya found his soon-to-be assistant in the recreation room with a few of their classmates.

“Naegi, come with me,” said Byakuya, striding over to the pool table. 

Makoto, who had just positioned himself to hit the cue ball, hesitated. “I’m kind of in the middle of something.”

“So am I,” said Byakuya.

Kudos to Makoto, however, because Byakuya hadn’t expected him to be playing pool. He had thought Makoto would be hammering away at a video game or smiling goofily over snakes and ladders. Interesting. Later, Byakuya would have to question him on what different game types he knew. See how competent he was at them.

“Well?” said Byakuya when Makoto didn’t move. “I don’t have all day.”

“Um, actually,” Makoto winced, “I think I would rather...”

“If Naegi-kun’s forfeiting, it looks like I win this game,” interrupted Sayaka, a smile pushing out her cheeks. She tilted her head to one side and fluttered her hands together in a dainty round of applause. “Yay, me! Don’t worry, Naegi-kun. We’ll have a rematch when you get back. But don’t think I’ll go easy on you to make you feel better about losing. I’m going to go all out.”

Sayaka puffed out her cheeks. While it made Makoto grin and slightly redden, it made Byakuya’s insides wither. As a Super High School Level Idol, he supposed she had to embody some kind of charm, even if it only worked on people like Makoto. And Leon, who was standing by the pool table too.

“Wow, whatever it is, it sounds important,” said Leon. “You better be a good friend and go with him. I’ll take care of Maizono-chan while you’re gone.”

Leon saluted at Makoto and winked. He had a black eye. Presumably, his plan to spy on the girls’ party hadn’t gone the way he hoped. 

“Thanks, but there’s no need to trouble yourself, Kuwata-kun,” said Sayaka as Makoto passed her the cue stick.

“I’m serious. It’s no sweat off my back,” said Leon.

Sayaka’s grin flattened against her face, more polite than genuine. “I mean I don’t think anything bad will happen. We’re all friends here. But I have the cue stick to protect me anyway.”

She demonstrated by thrusting it toward Leon. The tip stopped just before his injured eye, making him jump back with a yelp. A giggle rose out of her, to which Leon joined in with a couple of shaky laughs.

“Are you finished with your triple act now?” asked Byakuya, unamused.

“Yes, sorry,” said Makoto, cringing. “Let’s go.”

As they stepped out into the corridor, a few students breezed past, talking loudly to each other with erratic hand movements. Byakuya watched their backs as they walked away, his arms folded over his chest.

“What is it that you want with me?” asked Makoto.

“Not here,” said Byakuya. None of the students nearby seemed to be paying the pair any attention, but he couldn’t lower his guard. “Wait until we’re alone.”

Neither spoke while Byakuya led Makoto away. With no lessons taking place, finding an empty classroom proved straightforward. Once inside, Byakuya turned to Makoto.

“I need you to talk to Fukawa.”

Makoto frowned. “Why?”

“I need you to find out how much money she spent on the chocolates she gave me yesterday.”

That was simple enough to understand. Yet Makoto said, “You want me to do what, Togami-kun?”

He stared at Byakuya with a stupid look on his face, squinting with raised eyebrows.

“I don’t see what you’re struggling to understand. I wish to know how much money she spent on her chocolates so I can appropriately compensate her.” Byakuya started pacing back and forth. “If I were to buy her something two or three times more expensive, that would be seen as reciprocating her honmei choco. I could just give her nothing... no. Out of the question. Any less than what she gave me would reflect badly on me and the conglomerate.”

“I understand what you said,” Makoto told Byakuya. “Well, maybe not your reasoning, but what you want me to do. But why do I have to ask Fukawa-san where she bought that chocolate from? You’ve never struggled to speak your mind with her before.”

Byakuya came to a stop and brought a hand to the top corner of his glasses. A frown pinched his features.

“You never cease to sink to new levels below my expectations, and they are already incredibly low as it is. If I spoke to her, asking about the chocolates, she would become suspicious of my questioning and figure out I ate them. She’s daft, but she’s not a complete idiot. If you ask her about them, she will not suspect me.”

The situation was not unlike a game of pool. He couldn’t pot the eight-ball too early, much like he couldn’t outright go to Touko and question her about the chocolates. When he next saw her, everything had to be perfectly in place. There was an order that had to be followed.

Makoto glanced away, as if searching for a way out of the conversation, but no one jumped out from under a desk and carried him out of the room. Nor did the door slam open and a teacher march inside. The trees beyond the classroom’s window wall didn’t shed their leaves to reveal assassins hiding in them, guns aimed so they would have to flee the room, ending the conversation. A meteor didn’t smash into the classroom either. Silence hung between them, until Makoto sighed and met Byakuya’s gaze.

“Alright, Togami-kun. I’ll ask her for you.”

“You will invite her to the library and while you question her, I will be listening in nearby,” said Byakuya. “The library has plenty of bookcases for me to hide behind. Once you have extracted the information, I will slip away and prepare the compensation.”

It was a great plan, yet Makoto shook his head slightly. “I really don’t understand how your mind works, Togami-kun, but okay.”

“You don’t need to understand. I know what I’m doing. And I will tell you exactly what to say to her. You have half an hour to memorise this script I wrote.”

Byakuya reached under his jacket and pulled out a stack of paper.

Makoto had the audacity to continue frowning.

***

The irony of Byakuya observing Touko from a behind a bookcase did not go over his head. Many times, Byakuya’s and Touko’s positions had been reversed. However, he always knew she was there. Her smell of wet book never failed to find its way over to him. His ears would twinge at the sounds of her breathing. The back of his neck would prickle. A strange feeling would stir in him. Disgust. It could be nothing else. It would be preposterous to even suggest it was anything else. As if he would want her drooling, red-faced, snivelling person near him.

She was none-the-wiser to his presence on this occasion. Engrossed in a book. With more stacked up on either side of her. From his angle, he couldn’t see any of the titles, but they were all pretty thick.

“Hi, Fukawa-san,” said Makoto, walking up to her table.

On the script Byakuya had written for Makoto, he had put ‘hello’ instead of hi, but he supposed it was fine for Makoto to adapt the language slightly. After all, Byakuya and Makoto were worlds apart. Byakuya was still learning about how commoners functioned. How they walked. How they spoke. How they thought.

Touko looked up. 

“What do you want?” she asked coldly.

“I, um, wanted to see how you were doing.” Makoto pulled out a chair and sat down opposite her. “Did you enjoy Valentine’s Day yesterday?”

She set her book down. “You think you’re real smart, don’t you? I can see right through your charade.”

“Y-You can?” said Makoto, his head jerking back. Byakuya narrowed his eyes but otherwise didn’t move.

“You think you know what my answer will be, and it’s one that amuses you. You want me to indulge your humiliation kink by asking me that question,” she sneered.

Perfect. Byakuya smirked. He had anticipated that sort of response.

Makoto waved his hands and spluttered convincingly, “N-No! That’s not it at all. I came here because I wanted to check out the comic section and happened to see you as I was passing by.”

The script had actually called for ‘wanted to read generic lowbrow manga that commoners like me enjoy’.

She didn’t answer right away. “Sure.” 

Though Byakuya couldn’t see her face, she didn’t sound convinced. Makoto shifted in his seat and looked down, twiddling his thumbs. Perhaps Makoto hadn’t been the best choice. The guy was a terrible liar.

“... If you must know,” said Touko after an uncomfortable silence, “I got some writing done and gave Byakuya-sama chocolate.”

Touko spoke in a low voice and didn’t shriek or laugh when she said Byakuya’s name like she usually did. Nor did she pant or hug herself. Byakuya frowned. He had not planned for that reaction. She sounded dejected.

“It’s awesome that you gave Togami-kun some chocolate,” said Makoto. “Did he like it?”

This was her cue to start bragging about how of course he would love her chocolate. She wouldn’t buy him cheap chocolate. Only the finest was acceptable for ‘Byakuya-sama’. Yes, Touko would jump to her feet and spit would fly from her mouth as she passionately rambled about Byakuya and the exact cost of the confectionery.

“I haven’t seen him today, so I don’t know,” she said flatly.

“What chocolates did you get him? I bet you got them somewhere fancy.”

Touko’s shoulders hiked.

“I see what’s happening. Listen.” There was a hard edge to her voice now. “When we first met and you hung out with me a few times, I’ll admit. I thought I may have had feelings for you. But after a while, I realised that I was just happy that a guy had been kind to me and given me attention. It has happened before, with others. Someone would show a bit of interest in me, and I would start fantasising about dating them and getting married and having lots and lots of babies with them.”

Makoto stared silently, wide-eyed and mouth hanging open. Byakuya probably had a similar expression. Minus the open mouth.

“My only friend in elementary school. A boy from a neighbouring class in eighth grade. A literature teacher. A girl in my class at Riverbank. Any crushes I had were quite shallow. None compare to Byakuya-sama.”

As she straightened her back, Byakuya wondered what expression she had on. She was usually extremely expressive, but she had already defied his expectations with her responses to Makoto’s probing. She might have been hiding her emotions behind a blank mask. But it was impossible to hide one’s feelings in their eyes. Her grey pair could have been full of flame and smoke. They could have been biting cold. He couldn’t be certain anymore. Until now, he had thought he had her all sussed out.

Curious. Very curious.

“Byakuya-sama is different. Since we first met, he hasn’t shown me an act of kindness to latch on to.” Touko was trembling now. “He understands how dark and cruel the world can be. He doesn’t put on a mask or trust the masks of others. He didn’t try to deceive me with a good first impression. I’ve never felt the way I do toward him with anyone else, and that includes you. You may be a safe option, but you are not one that I truly want or who will make me feel fulfilled. S-So... I’m declining your offer to be your girlfriend.”

Okay, now Byakuya’s mouth might have fallen open. Makoto licked his lips.

“I think there’s been a misunderstanding. I don’t want to be your girlfriend, Fukawa-san.” He threw up his hands, facing his palms toward her. “No disrespect! You’re not that bad of a person once people get to know you. I just... wondered... ha ha...”

There was taking artistic liberty, and then there was this. Byakuya couldn’t see her face, but her expression made Makoto recoil. Her body shook harder, then she let out an ear-splitting howl that caused several people nearby to jump and spin around to watch. Behind the bookcase, Byakuya gritted his teeth and winced.

Touko’s chair toppled backward as she leaped to her feet. “S-So you did want me to say all that for your humiliation kink! Argh!”

“No! I...!”

She jabbed at the air. “Get out!”

When he didn’t move, she seized a book from the top of one of her stacks and aimed it at him. Makoto yelped and made a hasty retreat before she decided to throw it. After a couple of seconds, she returned the book to its spot. Several minutes crawled past before everyone else had returned to what they had been doing before, browsing bookshelves or murmuring in small groups.

Byakuya hadn’t obtained the information he desired, but staying would only serve to increase the chances of him getting caught. He began edging away, barely breathing.

“He’s gone now, Byakuya-sama,” said Touko calmly. Her voice stopped him in his tracks like a tightened leash.

He froze, then adjusted his glasses, keeping his back to her.

“Fukawa? I didn’t realise you were here,” he said as if she hadn’t screamed a couple of minutes ago.

“There’s no need to play coy, Byakuya-sama.” He could hear the smirk in her voice. She seemed back to her normal self, unfortunately. “I knew you were here the whole time.”

“You did?”

“I can smell you...”

Byakuya stiffened and turned to face her with a glare.

“Are you saying I stink?” he asked. Rich, coming from her.

“Only of pheromones.”

Sometimes she could say profound things. Other times, like now, she spoke like an idiot. However, to give her some credit, an idiot who always had a witty response prepared.

His scowl deepened. “You’re talking nonsense. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I will continue passing through and...”

He pivoted on his heel and took three steps before she said, “How were the chocolates?”

His foot stuck to the floor like glue.

“What chocolates?” he said casually.

“The ones I gave you yesterday.”

“Oh, those.” Byakuya licked his teeth. He had to choose his next words carefully. Thanks to Makoto, he had been left in a bad position in the endgame. He had to play defensively, and make sure he didn’t set her up for a clear final shot.

“I hope they were to your liking. I-It was my first time making chocolate, so I...”

“Wait. What?” His eyebrows rose. “You made them?”

Touko squeaked. Byakuya’s brow scrunched as he turned back toward her. A shudder ran down his spine.

“You made them? What on Earth for?” he snapped. “Did you think I would want to put my mouth anywhere near where your dirty fingers have been?”

Her face clouded over for a moment, probably as some ghastly mental image entered her brain, but she quickly recomposed herself. “I did buy some, originally. Really expensive chocolate. Except the morning before Valentine’s Day, it was all gone. That cursed alter of... um, I mean, that alternate cleaner standing in for the usual one m-must have snuck in and eaten it!”

That sounded very unprofessional. The skin around her eyes bunched up in distress.

“I tore through every shop in the city but it being the day before Valentine’s Day, I couldn’t find a single block of chocolate worthy of titillating your taste buds.”

Being a renowned author, she had to have made a very conscious choice on the words she used. She wrung her hands together.

“S-So... I went to the kitchens and made the chocolate I gave you. That pervert,” Teruteru Hanamura, “aided me. I don’t trust him at all, but Oogami and Asahina happened to be there too making chocolates so they ensured he didn’t attempt anything strange.”

Byakuya wondered how many people Touko had roped into this sick affair. But that explained why he couldn’t find them in his search through different retailers.

“Even though you weren’t going to eat them, they still needed to be perfect,” she carried on.

His brow quirked almost hard enough to split his face. He couldn’t keep the incredibility out of his voice. “You expected me not to eat them?”

She nodded. “Yes. That is correct. You’ve mentioned before that you have your own personal waste disposal crew for valentines.”

“So why go through all that effort if you knew I would toss them away?”

“Because I wanted you to see the effort I was willing to put in, e-even if you wouldn’t eat them. Even if you’re not ready to reciprocate my love... b-because I’ll wait for you.”

Byakuya swallowed. His mouth was very dry. And very very sickly. The chocolate poisoning his mouth must have soured. Or was this the taste of defeat? 

She had put him in a bad place. Well, she thought she had. A small smile warmed his lips as he realised she had actually set things up perfectly for him.

“Well, you were mistaken,” he announced. “Because I did eat them.”

Touko slapped a hand to her chest. “Huh?”

“Yes. I ate your honmei choco, Touko Fukawa!” He pointed at her, his grin cutting into his cheeks. “Come along! It’s your turn with the pool cue. What move will you make?”

“Pool cue...?” She blinked. 

Byakuya couldn’t have hoped for a better outcome. Now was the time for her to give up on him. To spurn him. To hate him. To think he was like all the others who had drawn her attention. Then she would leave him alone, and she would no longer be blighting his vision or his thoughts. She would be gone.

Instead, she smiled. “Heh... heh heh...”

“... huh?”

“It looks like... in this dark reality... love truly does prevail over all.”

Their conversation had drawn a small audience, but he paid them little attention. Touko wrapped her arms around herself, grinning widely. Byakuya’s face burned. He shifted a foot back, unable to take his eyes off her. She had outplayed him. Gross. She was gross. Disgusting. Repulsive.

“You’re vile,” he said, but that didn’t faze her. Still, if she was daydreaming, she might not notice him leaving. He marched quickly out of the library, not looking back once.

He really didn’t understand her at all.

That was why he spent the rest of the day thinking about her. Her annoying twin braids. Her beady grey eyes. Her stupid smile. Her wet book smell. Her perseverance. Her stupid smile.

Yes. 

That was why.

[kariachi]

Okay, looking at the history of Alan's page on the wiki, look into age shit. Going to try to keep my "I was literally there" commentary to myself.

~~

First mention of his age comes on April 28 2010, claiming it was stated by McDuffie but with nothing backing the claim.

It then back and forths a bit between his age being listed as 10, being listed as in his teens, or not listed at all based essentially on 'you don't have proof he's that young' 'you don't have proof he's not' and presumably 'guys he's like an inch shorter than Ben and built like a teen' it seems, eventually being left on 'he's 10'.

On January 2 2011 McDuffie is asked if the wiki is accurate as far as Alan's age and answers with "No, he's 11". This claim isn't added to the wiki, it seems nobody was citing any sources at the time.

On January 15 2011 the wiki is altered to show Alan as being 14 in AF, though the same page also lists him as 11.

January 16 2011 sees the 11 removed and replaced with fifteen.

An January 20 2011 the page is again altered to list him as 10 in AF and remove the mention of his age from the main body of the page.

On June 20 2011 somebody alters the wiki to state that he's 12 during AF, again with no citation.

This is changed back on June 24 2011.

On October 8 2011 the page is again changed to state that Alan is 14 in AF.

The page stays this way, including through multiple edits by the seeming originator of the 'Alan is 10' concept, until July 6 2014, when his age is removed entirely from the page.

The next time we see his age listed is after a long stint of the page being partially broken, on November 23 2014, listing him as 14 in AF.

His age is then removed again on January 18 2015.

And it stays like that until February 13 2019, when his age in AF is listed as 10 again, this time at least with a damn citation. The first, by the way, up until that day nobody was citing shit.

And that's how shit remains to this day.

~~

Now, doing this for 2 reasons. One- to back up my claims that 'he's 10' is inaccurate, there's a reason it was changed in the first place after that first comment from McDuffie ended up staying up nearly three years. And these weren't inactive years either, there were plenty of people going in and editing shit. Two- to give me a time to start looking to see if I can find where McDuffie clarified his age- somewhere between Jan 2 and Jan 15, probably closer to the latter.

Probably I won't be able to find it, it's been ages since the forum was taken down, and surely if it hadn't been lost to time somebody would have tracked it down by now, but I have to try. It just, burns at me so damn much, I have to make as strong an attempt as I can.

So, here I am off to search...

~~

And back several hours later with nothing to show for my trawling of archives, and I did fucking trawl. I've got 80 tons of shellfish and not a sign of this damn post because there's a massive chunk gone between the thread page fuckers managed to find and the next one I could get my mitts on.

Also the fucking site this thread page can be found on. It has like 70-odd pages from the old McDuffie site saved, all of them random single pages. How did this happen? Who set this up? The Internet Archive has shit in small batches, but this shit is just individual pages with whole chunks unaccounted for between them. Fucking weird. If nothing else these fuckers need to get in touch with each other and share what they've got.

~~

In the end though, I think this is if nothing else a solid reminder to archive shit. And to cite your goddamn sources when you're editing a wiki! Seriously, how the fuck did it take over twenty years to get a single citation on Alan's page? If people had been doing that from the start we would have had far fewer problems because we could just go 'this is what was said'! But no, now we're here, with me having to submit to the fact everybody is going to take a sarcastic remark as gospel despite contradictory evidence on the fucking screen until all knowledge of this fandom fizzles away!

Sorry, sorry, was trying to stay off that soapbox.

But, as important if not more so than the citations on wikis thing is still, back shit up people. Archive crap if you can. The Internet Archive has a Firefox extension, you can literally set it to automatically archive pages you go to. Because if this whole situation brings anything into the spotlight, it should be the fact that it's real easy for information to be lost to time. One man died, and because so much wasn't backed up, hundreds of pages, we've lost entire huge chunks of WoG and worldbuilding that now exists only in the heads of the people who were there to read it.

'The internet is forever' only holds true if we put in the effort, because otherwise everything from fandom crap to news articles to instruction manuals can vanish in a poof of lost funds and lost attention. If we wanna know shit later, we've got to store it now.

[castlebyersafterdark]

you are never too sappy! (congrats btw! + big love to the mike to your will... i see that blue heart and height difference mention 😉) the balance works so well so far. like a little glimmer of you. especially as its always relevant through a byler prism, so youre not making it all about you at all. i cant believe how cosy it is here. i genuinely await your writing like i would a new published novel hahaa. i also was going through my likes and saw an anon post on spicybylerpolls from february. it mentioned the sears catalogue and byler's fantasies and i had adored it at the time. rereading now, i'm like... VINNY?!?!? hahaha maybe it's not you but it's textbook and the style of writing and openminded humbleness felt very you. love.

especially love the self-acceptance journey you seem to be on here, allowing yourself nerdery, allowing yourself spice in byler forums, keeping a healthy eye on your online habits! + growing to love yourself more through will perhaps, keeping up with your writing, learning you kind of love cringe roleplay sex in fic?!?!? hehehehehe and also realisations that you may or may not want to share! its all gold dust - and honestly, this feels like blogs as i knew them growing up, like wordpress, blogspot, etc. proper old blogs where it's just right mix of artistic and personal.

x

Thanks, I feel so happy being here, everyone is so sweet 😘 Saving the dash from my personal rambles:

I didn't want to ruin it by changing things up too much. But, I do kinda want to talk about whatever here and post the occasional non-Byler stuff, still mostly the normal fandoming and spicy posting like I've been doing. Keeping the chill vibes. This does feel very much like a different type of blogging than I'm used to. It's cool. Even if people get sick of me or lose interest, I'll pretend that's not the case hahaha. Corny as hell, but it feels safe here.

Incredibly flattered that you look forward to my writing! I've always wrote fic and original pieces and scripts and loved it but had zero confidence. Did it anyway. I still have a lot of growth to work through with my writing when I decide to post polished fics, but that's fun now, feels different. I have so much in the wheelhouse. It'll fuel me to season 5 and beyond, I'm pretty sure.

That's funny you mention the spicypolls account, because I HAD to go searching through their archive and I found that post - wow, I see what you mean. The typing style certainly could make you think it's me, and it was an excellent post but full disclosure - I've never sent anything into that blog before! I only started this blog in May (whoa! 2 months?? Feels a lot longer!) and I genuinely only lurked and never interacted anywhere on the spicy corner before I converted this account, even on anon.

And I never thought I'd learn things about myself through something as genuinely kind of silly as what is, at its core, an explicit head-canon and writing blog for a fictional fandom ship. Hahahaha. But here I am. Feeling a little more confident in embracing my vulnerabilities and weirdness. Weirdness isn't bad! It's stuff I've known but it's different when you just live your life, instead of actually talking about it outside of your brain. Helps me feel less embarrassed after posting here sometimes - I look back over what I post and just cringe on occasion but power through a little easier lately!!

And ohhh it always comes back to the cringe roleplay, doesn't it 😏 Which has been a fun exercise in letting myself play around and try new things in general, with writing. With real life. Be a little weirdo. Find your people. Stay authentic.

Thanks for this one, it's a little self-indulgent, rambling about myself, but it made me smile. ❤️ Incredibly corny, but this is the kind of environment I think I've always been searching for online, but looked in all the wrong places. So, ughhhh. Finally.

[ahungeringknife]

365: February 3

@seventhscorpio

yeah pretty sure I just got a 3 day brain rot about the Hive. I am the worst at doing month long challenges bc more than like 3-4 prompts rarely interest me.

---

He’d never been to this part of the Throne World before. According to the runes and directions it said ‘Archives’. So a library of some sort. He’d never been to a library but he’d seen plenty.

He library was enormous at six stories tall and full of shelves that went up to the ceiling of each floor. Lining the shelves were thousands and thousands of books, scrolls, and rolls of documents. Most of the occupants were Wizards, gently floating with a book in hand or resting it on a tall lecturn. But there were Acolytes here too most of them sporting a horned carapace headpiece not unlike Wizards. Wizards to-be perhaps? Not all of them of course. Some were just Acolytes and a handful he saw had the start of their Swords at their hips.

He wandered the library unhindered looking at the towering white stacks and the delicate stained glass that looked like eyes peering in on you. But why did the Hive need books if they had the World’s Graves? He ended up standing between two stacks thinking about it for a long time. Maybe they just liked it? The interfaces he’d seen Hive use weren’t… the best and most of it was analogue. It wasn’t like Graves were rare either. They were all over. Maybe they didn’t work the same in a Throne World? That had to be it.

There were several librarian acolytes in the library who made sure no one was doing anything disruptive. One caught Gup putting a book back in the slightly wrong place and started yelling at him. It was just one book to the left what was the big deal!? He made himself scarce quickly after that, leaving the library but staying near the Archives.

He ended up finding an acolyte off by themselves furiously writing stuff down. Gup just leaned over their shoulder and saw they were writing notes directed at Savathun. Gup didn’t get why. His mom said Savathun was dead now. Or at least her body was. “Isn’t that a fool’s errand?” he asked.

The acolyte nearly fell off the low ledge they were sitting on. “What? Who are you? Don’t you know it’s rude to sneak up on people?” he demanded.

“I wasn’t sneaking, you just didn’t hear me,” Gup said brightly.

The acolyte narrowed his green eyes at him. “Why do you sound like that?”

“Like what?”

“Mmmm. What are you doing here?”

“Looking around,” Gup said in his carefree stupid way he could do. He’d learned to do it from uncle Savant and he was very good at it.

“Well do it somewhere else.”

“Why are you writing notes for Savathun?” Gup asked, undisturbed by the hostility. A lot of Hive were hostile towards you at first. “She’s… gone,” he said, feigning sadness.

“Exactly. And I’ll have everything written down for when she comes back,” they said sharply.

“But the Guardians took her. I imagine she won’t, right?”

“Pft. Immaru will find a way. Don’t you want her to come back?”

“I’ve lost enough gods, another doesn’t do much for me,” Gup said. Eric had had to talk him through that logic. He was technically part of Crota’s brood but ‘would’ have joined Oryx’s brood when he showed up. “I know Guardians are good at making our gods dead,” he tapped part of his arm where he still had some yellow chitin. He’d shed most of it in favor of more gray blue/purple that more resembled his mom’s skin. He sat next to the acolyte on the ledge now.

“You were Crota Spawn,” he said. Gup nodded. “Awful thing they did to our Prince,” he said bitterly. “I was Hidden Swarm before Savathun came.”

“What’s your name?”

“Dornuk.”

As far as names went it was nothing terribly special. Good name though. “I’m “Xolkûn, but you can call me Gup if you want. That’s what my mom always calls me,” he said cheerfully. He loved how absolutely confused what he said made other Hive.

“… Gup? But Xolkûn is such a cool name,” Dornuk said.

“My mom only calls me that when I’m in trouble.”

There was a long beat of silence. “What’s a mom?”

“Like a brood mother but she loves you,” Gup said brightly.

Dornuk stared at Gup. “You’re weird, Xolkûn,” he decided.

“Gup is better.”

“Fine. Stupid weird name for a stupid weird Acolyte,” Dornuk said.

“My mom thinks its cute,” Gup said. “So if you’re writing notes for Savathun when she comes back how do you know what to write down?”

“I’m just writing everything down,” Dornuk said.

“I bet it’d be easier if you were allowed around some big deal wizards huh?”

“Who’s to say I’m not?” Dornuk asked scornfully.

“Well you’re here and not in a meeting on how to thwart the Gaurdians,” Gup shrugged. “Or get our god back.”

Dornuk looked at him a long moment. “You talk weird. Like those Lucent,” he squinted at Gup. “You’re not one are you?”

“No. I bet my mom has some stuff you could write down for Savathun,” he said. “She knows all sorts of stuff about what’s happening in the Throne World.”

“Your ‘mom’ is some sort of Wizard or something?”

“No. She’s a Lightbearer.”

Dornuk gave Gup the most confused look. Gup didn’t talk to too many Hive so didn’t really realize he was being insanely confusing. “… Sure,” he said and got up, Gup hopped to his feet.

“We need to go somewhere open first,” Gup said and Dornuk followed Gup out of the Archives onto the promenade that ran up to the Archives.

“What’s the matter with you?” Dornuk asked after Gup found his mom’s scope glint and made a hand sign. He knew she was looking. He counted the flashes of the scope glint.

“Hmm? Nothing I’m just getting a reading from my mom. This way. She’ll meet us over here,” and he walked off. They walked a ways away from the Archives to what was now a fountain with benches. Gup plopped down. Dornuk stood.

“So what exactly is your mom?” Dornuk asked.

“A Lightbearer,” Gup said, not lying but not telling Donuk the whole truth either.

“If you were in Crota’s Brood how’d you end up here?”

“I was brought? Not like I’m a Wizard who can fly,” Gup said.

“But you don’t have the carapace colors of any swarm I’m familiar with,” Dornuk’s eyes narrowed. “Including Xivu Arath.”

“I just like these,” Gup said in his sweet stupid way that looked like it was giving Dornuk a headache. “It’s fun, you know. What’s life if you can’t have some fun?”

“There is work to be done over fun.”

“Sounds like you never have fun.”

“I do too,” Dornuk protested. “It has just… been a harrowing year.”

“After you meet my mom we should go do something fun,” Gup said brightly.

“You are a strange Acolyte, Gup,” Dornuk said with all the gravity of a funeral.

“Oh, momma,” Gup perked up and Dornuk turned when Gup pointed. Before Dornuk could yell about a Guardian Eric calmly put a gun in his face. “Mooom, don’t do that,” Gup whined.

“Who’s your friend, baby?” she asked, looking at Dornuk who was bigger than her.

“Dornuk. He’s nice,” Gup said.

“Dornuk… Let’s be friends. No yelling, okay?” she asked nicely and Gup didn’t hear the obvious threat in her voice. Dornuk nodded quickly. Eric put her gun away, slotting it into a holster on her thigh. “What’d you call me here for, baby?” she asked Gup.

“Dornuk writes stuff down for Savathun,” Gup said pointing at his new friend. “All the important stuff but he’s not allowed in meetings with the Wizards. But you know all sorts of important stuff, right?” he asked her.

There was a pause and then Eric chuckled. “Sure. I guess,” she allowed and came and sat next to him.

Dornuk stood there staring at them. “Gup, that’s a Guardian.”

“Yeah. Lightbearer, like I said,” Gup chirped.

“Why isn’t it shooting us?”

“She’s my mom. She wouldn’t shoot us don’t be silly,” Gup scoffed.

“I can understand you, you know. It’s quite rude to talk about someone like they aren’t here,” Eric said.

Dornuk looked at them both and looked torn between great interest and absolute fury and revulsion. Eventually his curiosity won out. “You’re Gup’s mom?”

“Yes.”

Gup was thrilled when Dornuk slowly came over and sat on Gup’s other side with his writing tablet. “What’s a mom?”