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zenonaa · 5 months ago

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Fandom: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Dangan Ronpa Series Rating: Mature Relationships: Fukawa Toko/Togami Byakuya Characters: Togami Byakuya, Fukawa Toko, Naegi Makoto, Kirigiri Kyoko, Hagakure Yasuhiro, Asahina Aoi (Dangan Ronpa), Ogami Sakura, Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Yamada Hifumi, Celestia Ludenberg Additional Tags: Togafuka Week, there's some heavy making out and talk of sex Summary: After three people are inflicted with the despair disease, Fukawa finds herself being a nurse to a very lovey-dovey Togami.

Comments: Finally finished last year’s togafuka week. :’) Day 7: AU! Went for despair disease, as I don’t think I’ve ever done one for the dr1 cast.

💖 Please like, reblog, leave kudos and/or comment on AO3 💖

***

Hands pinned Touko’s wrists to the bed like shackles, but she had no desire to break free. Byakuya’s half-naked body loomed over her, his blond hair bouncing as he shifted. His strong thighs straddled her, firm as tree trunks, rooted to the mattress. Tremors rocked her hands, desperate to run over his curves, pert nipples and heavily defined six pack. How she longed to slather her palms in the sweat gleaming on his chest and lick it off herself until her fingers pruned.

“Touko...” Her name sang from his lips. A shiver coursed through her as his voice melted on her skin, sinking through to pool in her lower gut. She rubbed her thighs together. Groaned. He hadn’t touched her yet, and already she was suffocating in lust.

And he knew it. His eyes twinkled as he opened his perfect mouth to speak again.

“Attention! Emergency!” Monobear’s shrill voice rang out. “All students must come to the gymnasium immediately. Oh dear, dear, dear...!”

Static crackled. Only for a second, but it cut deep enough. In the blink of an eye, Byakuya vanished. So did the bed. Touko jolted back hard enough to nearly overbalance her chair. She yelped and steadied herself, then gritted her teeth. Of all the times for that cursed bear to demand their attention, it had to be when she was getting into her writing zone for the first time since being trapped in this school.

The notebook page where she had been detailing her tryst with Byakuya now bore a jagged line. A harsh furrow dug into her brow as she bit on the end of her thumb. But as much as she wanted to continue writing, she also didn’t want Monobear to barge in and drag her to the gymnasium. How undignifying! Her skirt would probably ride up and show her panties to everyone. Only Byakuya was allowed to see them. When he was ready, of course. And her too. Perhaps she could wear red lingerie when the time came.

But that would have to wait. Touko couldn’t think of anything less sexy than that demented bear, though most of the guys in her class were close runners up. Byakuya was leagues above them. Above everyone. Leaving her notebook on her desk, Touko headed to the gymnasium, where most of the others had already gathered.

She kept her distance from them.

“What could Monobear want with us?” asked Aoi, as if it wasn’t obvious.

Yasuhiro scratched his head. “You don’t think he’s going to give us another... y’know?”

They all knew. Except maybe Kiyotaka, but it was impossible to tell if any thought passed through his mind these days. Ever since Mondo had been executed, Kiyotaka’s eyes had turned vacant and he’d barely said a word. Whatever, if anything, was going on in his head was veiled in mystery.

“What could they do that was worse than last time?” asked Hifumi, mopping his brow with a handkerchief.

Touko’s insides twisted. Surely whatever motive Monobear had planned couldn’t be worse than the last one. That had been a video game adaption of a murder, only for the first person to beat the game to learn that the culprit had actually been Mondo Oowada, and the victim had been his brother, Daiya. The only way it could have been even more horrific was if it had been an anime adaptation. Or fanfiction.

Ultimately, the game was unbeatable, with them only learning from Monobear about the game's killer at the end of the murder trial, but Mondo figured out the game was about him. When Chihiro approached him, asking for help to be strong, Mondo murdered Chihiro in a fit of rage, thinking Chihiro had beat the game. Shortly after, Byakuya found the murder scene and rearranged it to look like the work of Genocider Syo. Though Touko had felt betrayed at the time, at least now Syo couldn't kill anybody here. Everyone would always suspect her first. It was one less thing to worry about.

Byakuya was so considerate of Touko, really.

Monobear popped up from behind the podium and put its hands onto its hips after it landed on top of it. “I didn’t bring you here to give you another motive to kill. You're all so paranoid.”

“So why are we here?” asked Byakuya, a hand on his hip. “No one has been murdered.”

As astute as always. Touko smiled toward him and placed a hand over her heart. His gaze didn’t stray from Monobear.

“I called you here to issue you an apology,” announced Monobear, bowing its head and holding its paws behind its back.

“It’s too late for that,” said Makoto shakily. “Five of us have already been killed. No amount of apologies will undo their passing.”

“What? No. I’m not apologising for that.” Monobear screwed a paw against its ear. “I didn’t kill anyone. They all brought about their own deaths. I wanted to apologise because I have only recently noticed that some of the Monofleas from my circus escaped my pickle jar.”

Touko felt her brow contort. “Pickle... jar?”

“Circus?” said Aoi, equally confused. Most of the class looked at each other.

“That’s not what you should be concerned about,” said Byakuya, glaring at Monobear. “What the hell is a Monoflea?”

Whatever it was, it sounded cruel. Fleas only lived for a few months, and those that were deemed suitable for a circus would have wire tied around their bodies, leashing them for the rest of their short lives. But that wasn’t the worst fate they could have. Some were glued to miniature instruments on a miniature circus ring. What humans perceived as them playing an instrument was really them trying to escape. The owner could even heat up the enclosure to make them squirm more.

Touko knew all this because some boys in elementary school once found her talking to her stink bug on the playground. They had told her to do that with her, and Touko had become curious how it was done so researched it. Not that she would ever submit her darling Kameko to such torture. She had wanted to know how the fleas were made to do what their owners wanted. Why they stayed despite the horrendous treatment. The same behaviour could be seen in humans. Her mothers, for example.

“What? Can’t a bear have a hobby?” asked Monobear.

“I thought torturing us was your hobby,” said Kyouko.

Monobear flung its arms up angrily. “Being a headteacher is my job, not a hobby.”

Kyouko didn’t flinch. It lowered its arms and seemed to deflate.

“Anyway, I checked my jar and they had all escaped. I must have not screwed the lid on properly.”

“And you’re telling us why?” asked Makoto.

“Tone down the sass. It’s not a good look on you,” said Monobear, wagging a paw. “Maybe I wanted some sympathy, huh?”

Silence. Monobear sighed and began to mime kicking its foot against an imaginary tin can.

“... The truth is Monofleas carry a disease that though it does not affect bears, it gives humans a high fever along with other despairy symptoms,” explained Monobear. “They were in my jar around lunchtime, so they could have potentially been free for hours... roaming around... contaminating you all...”

Unease rippled through the students. Some straightened, like Celes and Byakuya. Others hunched over, like Yasuhiro, who also began mumbling a prayer under his breath. Touko pressed her fist against her mouth. Her skin crawled as if the fleas were writhing underneath it.

“There’s no such thing,” said Byakuya.

His voice washed over Touko, and she found herself able to breathe easily again. Of course this was one of Monobear’s tricks, like the video game from last time or when it claimed it would return their missing memories if they killed one another. Thank goodness Byakuya was there to remind her. To reassure her.

“The symptoms won’t show right away, so we can’t know for sure who has the despair disease yet,” said Monobear.

“How long will the symptoms take to become apparent?” asked Kyouko, and Touko’s relieved grin almost wavered. Byakuya was the smartest person present, but Touko had to begrudgingly admit that Kyouko wasn’t an idiot. Was she weird? Yes. Creepy? Pretty? Definitely. But not an idiot.

“Let’s see...” Monobear whipped out a pocket watch from behind its back. Touko did not want to think about where it had been storing the device. It held it up in front of its face. “If my Monofleas escaped a few hours ago, you should start feeling the effects right about... now.”

A loud gasp punctuated Monobear’s sentence almost immediately. Kiyotaka fell to one knee, almost doubling over. His body shook as he hugged himself with one arm, wheezing through gritted teeth.

“Ishimaru-kun!” Makoto ran over and extended a hand toward Kiyotaka’s shoulder. “Are you...?”

But before Makoto’s hand could reach him, Kiyotaka smacked it away. Makoto stumbled back with a cry. He hadn’t yet regained his balance when a white light suddenly engulfed Kiyotaka, blinding Touko and the others momentarily. She shielded her face with her arm and scrunched her eyes shut as a wave of heat blasted across her.

Somewhere nearby, Yasuhiro screamed.

A few seconds passed before Touko lowered her arm and blinked. Kiyotaka was now standing tall.

He also had white hair. And red electricity seemed to spark from his eyes.

“Ishimaru Kiyotaka-dono has gone full Super Saiyan!” Hifumi exclaimed, covering his mouth with one hand.

“Wazzat you said, you fucker?” Kiyotaka cracked his knuckles. “Anime references are against the rules. You wanna throw down? I’ll take you on, fuckcabbage!”

Hifumi shrieked and hid behind Sakura, who looked absolutely baffled.

“It seems Ishimaru has taken on a whole new personality,” she remarked.

“Hey! Fuckfudge!” Kiyotaka pointed at her now. “Clear your fucking ears out and listen. Kyoudai’s soul has taken residence in this vessel, combining to create me... Kiyondo Ishida!”

As loud and obnoxious as the self-proclaimed Kiyondo was, he didn’t try to make a move on Sakura beyond screaming at her. Touko doubted he would have been a match for her even with the combined strength of Kiyotaka and Mondo. Not that Touko would put it past him to try - the guy seemed utterly delusional. Though Sakura didn’t appear to intend on fighting him, as dumbfounded as most of the others.

Aoi yawned. “Whatever.”

That brought Sakura out of her stupor. “Asahina?”

“I’m bored. Can we go now?”

Not a flicker of emotion crossed Aoi’s features. She showed no concern about Kiyondo threatening Sakura. No anger at Monobear, who watched what was happening with its usual stupid grin. There was no anything with her, just a slack expression and flat voice. After a moment of hesitation, Sakura rested a hand against Aoi’s forehead.

Her brow creased. “Warm... Could this be...?”

“It's the despair disease! It’s made Asahina-chi totally disinterested, and Ishimaru-chi into an anime character,” shouted Yasuhiro, clutching either side of his head.

“W-What?” Makoto trembled. “How’s that even possible?”

This had to be a ploy by Monobear to inspire them to kill again, one that Aoi and Kiyotaka were privy to. Yes, that was it, because despair disease didn’t exist like Byakuya said. Touko told herself that she wasn’t feeling ill. Her head spun and her heart raced because of the madness of it all, not because she was sick. Maybe. Not yet, at least.

She tucked her elbows into her sides and backed away, shuffling her feet against the ground.

“None of you come anywhere near me,” she warned, voice shrill. “I d-don’t want to catch whatever...”

Her next step backward bumped her into someone. With a gasp, Touko jolted forward, losing balance in the process, but before she could fall onto her face, an arm swerved around, catching her. A surprised yelp popped out of her, then another as her body was pushed back, into another arm that tipped her so she was leaning back and staring up at the face of the person who had saved her.

“B-Byakuya-sama?”

It was his arm that had intercepted her fall. His arm that was wrapped around her now, holding her, cradling her.

“I apologise, my darling river maiden. I didn't mean to startle you,” he said, staring deeply into her eyes. “Are you all right?”

She swallowed thickly. It looked like him. It sounded like him. It - she sniffed a few times - smelled like him. Faintly citrus and... she believed she caught a note of sandalwood. Whilst his aroma had blessed her nose before, she had never experienced it this strongly. Probably because they had never been this close before. They were practically sharing the same air.

“I’m fine,” she mumbled, light-headed.

He straightened, pulling her upright, keeping her close to his body. One of his hands slipped up to her cheek, and her knees wobbled. Had he not had his other hand on her waist, she may well have crumpled to the floor.

The corners of his eyes crinkled a little as he smiled. Smiled at her. Then he delivered the fatal blow.

“Excuse me for staring,” he said. “You’re just so alluring.”

She gargled.

“We don’t need to feel his forehead to know he’s burning up,” said Celes, but Touko reached a hand up anyway. Hot.

“Yeah, the real Togami-chi would never say stuff like that,” said Yasuhiro.

“He has become comic relief.” Hifumi pressed his knuckles against his mouth. “W-What will become of us, Hagakure Yasuhiro-dono?”

Touko’s brow pinched. “S-Shut up...”

Hifumi had some nerve claiming Byakuya had become such a ghastly character trope, especially when one took into account his own pathetic personality. And it wasn’t even true. Nothing about Byakuya was humorous. He gazed at her with such seriousness, such tenderness. Her heart stuttered as the air around him seemed to turn rosy and glitter. In his arms, there was no Monobear or Killing Game or parents waiting to be sent a cheque so they would continue to leave her alone. There was just them, in this moment.

“Ignore that oversized half-wit,” said Byakuya. “Only we know the secrets that our eyes and hearts share. I am Byakuya Togami, and I am yours.”

His thumb gently twitched against her cheek. She shivered. In the corner of her vision, she glimpsed Celes looking visibly ill. No doubt she was jealous. Normally, Touko would have shot her a glare, or scoffed how Celes didn’t understand true love, but for once Touko pitied her.

“Upupupu...” Monobear brought its paws to its unmoving mouth. “This is quite the predicament. Also, I checked all of your medical reports before arriving here, and Fukawa-san is totally immune to the despair disease. Maybe it’s because her existence is already full of despair.”

“Ruffian!” Byakuya snapped, sounding more like his usual self. “Do not speak ill of my pookie porkchop!”

Touko squealed delightedly. “Oink, oink, oink...!”

“Pet names are forbidden, assfuck!” Kiyondo shouted. His eyebrows burst into flames, but they didn’t seem to cause him any pain, even as they continued burning. Their sudden appearance made Makoto jump, but no one else paid them any real attention.

“I’m gonna have to take Ishida-chi’s side on this one,” said Yasuhiro, crossing his arms with a grimace. “I’m gonna have nightmares for weeks after hearing that come out of Togami-chi’s mouth.”

“Upupupu!” Monobear laughed into its paws. “Well, I’d love to stay and chat, but...”

“You can’t leave! You’ve got to fix them!” Makoto exclaimed, sweeping out an arm while Aoi picked her nose and Byakuya flicked his head back, blond hair fluttering.

“Do I look like a doctor to you? Or a Super High School Level Nurse with big boobs and an uneven haircut?” asked Monobear. “I don’t even have opposable thumbs. I’ve got to go find my monofleas. Monodam? Monophanie? Where are you...”

A loud creak sounded. Monobear jumped down to behind the podium. That noise always preceded Monobear’s exit, and as Makoto ran to the podium, Touko knew he had no chance of catching up to it.

The grim expression that sagged his face when he got there confirmed this.

“Now what?” he asked.

Hifumi, Yasuhiro and Celes ignored him, roasting marshmallows on the fire that had ignited on Kiyondo’s eyebrows. Aoi started walking away.

“Asahina, where are you going?” asked Sakura.

“Bed,” said Aoi with a shrug, continuing to walk away. “Laters.”

“I do not think it’s a good idea for you to be alone,” said Sakura. “You are unwell...”

“And potentially contagious,” added Kyouko.

Yasuhiro and Hifumi froze, then dropped their marshmallow sticks and jolted back. Celes lowered hers calmly.

“Then perhaps we should lock them up,” suggested Celes.

“If they are unwell, they should go to the infirmary,” said Kyouko. “We can take turns looking after them... but we will have to ensure we are properly protected so we don’t get infected.”

Byakuya tore his hands away from Touko, but before his warmth could burn away, he darted behind her and wrapped his arms around her. A delighted shudder gushed through Touko leaving her body in a squeal.

“Hell shall freeze over before I share a room with any of you vermin. I refuse to be taken care of by anyone except my winter princess!”

“Y-Yes! I’ll be the one to nurse Byakuya-sama back to full health,” said Touko with a fervent nod. She could already imagine it. Her, wearing a nurse outfit, blowing on hot chicken soup before spooning it into Byakuya’s gaping mouth hole... In and out, in and out... sweat dripping from his face...

“Are we sure Fukawa is healthy? She has gone very red,” said Sakura.

“Red is not dresscode approved, fucklegs!” barked Kiyondo.

“Naw. That’s just Fukawa-chi being her usual disturbing self,” said Yasuhiro, grimacing.

Kyouko shook her head.

“Arguing won’t go anywhere. Fukawa-san is more than welcome to provide exclusive care to Togami-kun in his room.”

Touko hunched her shoulders, glaring. “If Byakuya-sama doesn’t want...”

The rest of Touko’s rebuff turned to ash in her mouth as Kyouko’s words sank in. Her lips twitched as her brain struggled to form a new sentence, replaying what Kyouko had suggested over and over again. Up to this point, she had never even seen inside Byakuya’s room. Now, she would be in there... taking care of him... just the two of them... alone... together...

Brisk footsteps broke Touko's train of thought as Kyouko walked over. Byakuya’s arms tightened around Touko, on-guard.

“Be careful, Fukawa-san,” said Kyouko.

“I would never hurt...” Byakuya started, only for Kyouko to continue talking as if he hadn’t spoken.

“Monobear may have been lying about you being immune, and we do not know how transmittable this disease is.” Kyouko’s gaze was trained on Touko’s face. “If you were to get sick as well, you would not be able to take proper care of Togami-kun. In fact, the disease may make you hate him.”

Touko's eyes widened. For her to hate Byakuya despite his many objectively amazing qualities would mean she had turned not only into a completely different person but a monster. An idiotic one at that. Kyouko inclined her head forward, keeping her eyes on Touko.

“Wear personal protective equipment,” said Kyouko.

“Fear not,” said Byakuya, hugging Touko even closer. “We’ll use protection.”

***

Upon entering Byakuya’s room, Touko stepped onto a length of red carpet that crossed all the way to the far wall. She was almost tempted to take her shoes off so she didn’t bring in any dirt, but her desire to see the rest of his room won out. The further in she padded, the more details studded her vision. Paintings hung either side of her, of scenery and flower vases. A large wooden stand rested on a floor cabinet, boasting ten identical pairs of white glasses. On the desk was a coin collector’s box.

When she reached the middle of the room, she stopped. Breathed. Trembled. She really was in Byakuya Togami’s bedroom.

“This is what dreams are made of!” Byakuya announced, appearing at her side. He cupped her chin and gently turned her head toward him. “This space is as much yours as I am yours, my twin-braided goddess.”

A pout perched on his lips as he batted his lashes at her. Touko’s face scorched. She would permanently be bright pink if he kept talking like this.

“R-Really, I’m the one honoured to be here with you...!” Touko said.

“I would trust no one else to take care of me. They would spit in my medicine, the scum.”

Touko nodded, though if he asked her to do that, she would have been more than happy to oblige.

“Y-You should lie down, Byakuya-sama,” she said, but after the day she had experienced so far, she felt like she was the one who needed to lie down. So much had happened. She couldn't do that, though. Not when she was supposed to be looking after him.

“Astute thinking, my beloved petal,” Byakuya replied, and he crossed over to the bed and lay himself down on it.

Her mouth fell open. While what she had said had been more of a suggestion than a command, he had still done as she advised. Usually he was the one giving other people orders, telling them what they should do. And in his eagerness, he hadn’t even taken his shoes off. She bit her lip as she eyed his feet. Perhaps she could remove them for him, even offer to give him a foot massage. After all, it was Touko’s duty to make him feel comfortable.

Saliva pooled in her mouth at the thought of her fingers kneading each of his ten toes, one-by-one.

“Oh, sugar pie princess?” he called out. “Would you please fluff my pillow?”

Touko jolted and wiped her mouth on her sleeve. “O-Of course!”

Now wasn’t the time to daydream. She needed to be focused, as hard as that would be with Byakuya’s glittering blue eyes and perfect smile in close proximity. With great care, she accepted the pillow from him, then she got to work, screaming and beating and throttling the pillow for a full two minutes.

When she finished, she neatly slipped it behind him and stepped back.

Byakuya snuggled against the pillow. “Thank you, my rose sweet. I knew I could depend on you.”

He was beautiful. Radiant. And his head was touching the pillow that her hands had touched. She rested a hand against her chest, wishing she could swap places with that pillow.

“Forgive me for being so bold, but may I ask another favour? It is a rather hefty one,” he said.

“P-Please do!”

Possibilities flooded through her brain. He might want her to feed him. Or read to him. Or wash him. The last thought simultaneously set her aflame and gave her chills. She hugged herself. Let out a little moan.

His smile stayed strong.

“... Could you stay the night? Apologies, for I am selfish to demand your precious time, but - ”

“Eh?” went Touko, her brain short-circuiting.

“I thirst for your company. Just your presence is enough to bring me strength. Please. Sit with me.”

Byakuya’s only ailments seemed to be a high temperature and slight demeanour change. Otherwise, he didn’t appear to be unwell. He had more than easily made the journey back from the gymnasium to his room. But Touko couldn’t turn down a chance like this. When he recovered, she didn’t know how long it would take for him to work up the nerve to invite her to spend the night again. Though maybe if she did a good enough job now, she could win him over and be able to come again.

“I’ll stay.” She squeezed her hands together. “S-Stay... with Byakuya-sama...”

Usually, Touko watched Byakuya from across the library, or she stood near his table in the cafeteria. Her head spun as she pulled over a chair and sat at his bedside, squeezing her knees with her sweaty palms. She expected him to say that she stunk and needed to bathe, especially now they would be near each other a lot more, but he made no mention of her odour.

“Yesterday, when you called Naegi a puddle of dish water at the bottom of a washing up bowl, I could barely restrain a smirk,” he said. “Your tongue is a ferocious weapon, wielded by one as intelligent and worldly as you are. How interesting you are to have around! Impossible to predict, full of surprises. And with you protecting me, I feel no fear or apprehension. Even if the world outside this prison turned out to be a desolate wasteland run by wild elementary schoolers, with you at my side, I could face it or anything.”

Touko nodded, grinning widely as Byakuya’s voice rolled over her like ocean waves. He carried on like this until night time, when her eyelids began to droop and her chin started dipping toward her chest. As much as she wanted to stay awake, the recent events had zapped her clean of energy. Part of her didn’t want to go to bed, afraid she would wake up in her own room. Though if this was how the dream were to end, she couldn’t have asked for anything better.

Having fallen asleep plenty of times at her desk when she had a deadline to meet, she would have no trouble sleeping on Byakuya’s chair. But just as she started to get comfortable, Byakuya shuffled to one side of the bed and patted the other.

“Join me,” he said.

That jolted her more awake. And nearly off her chair. “Huh?

Byakuya wanted to share a bed with her. With her. A bed.

Her heartbeat thundered in her ears. She reached her shaking hands to her neck, trying to feel for the invisible hands strangling her throat. Or whatever was making it hard to breathe. He wanted her to get into bed with him. This was just like the story she had been writing earlier that day. If only she had thought to wear red lingerie, as well as shave until she was as hairless as a doll.

“I’m counting on you, my snowflake,” he said.

No more needed to be said. Touko lurched forward, onto his bed. Feeling full of electricity, she scrambled onto her back and slightly spread her legs apart. Then she gulped. Waited. Trembled. Beside her, Byakuya positioned himself on his side, propping up his cheek in his hand as he faced her.

“Thank you for indulging me, my amethyst souffle,” he said. “Just seeing your face will enable me to sleep soundly.”

She fidgeted and gulped and curled her toes, unable to look at him now. Too distracted. Too focused. Her skin tingled in anticipation, but he didn't lay a finger on her. Only when his breathing evened out did she peek at him and realise he had fallen asleep.

So no sex then.

Still, there was nowhere else she would rather be, especially the real world. Unfortunately, she had to wake up sooner or later. Even she knew that. She shut her eyes and waited for the dream to end, only to eventually drift to sleep instead.

***

When she woke up, she was still in Byakuya’s bed. He chirped good morning to her, batted his eyelashes at her and said he had never had such a pleasant sleep before. A rosy aura hung around him that rained a few pink flower petals onto the bed sheet, as real as the flames on Kiyondo’s eyebrows had been.

The previous day hadn’t been a fantasy her brain had cooked up. This was really happening.

“W-What would you like me to do for you?” she asked, once she had got out of bed..

“Ah, there are many things I wish you to do for me,” he said. He touched his fingertips to his chest. “As well as do to me...”

His stomach rumbled.

“... Breakfast would not be out of the question,” he said.

“Breakfast! I can do breakfast!” Touko exclaimed. “I’ll be right back! D-Don’t go anywhere!”

She dashed out of the room, not dropping speed until she crossed through the cafeteria and arrived at the kitchen door. A few of her novels included scenes where someone served breakfast in bed to their love interest, but she had yet to experience it for herself.

Upon entry into the kitchen, she spotted a tired-looking Makoto and Kyouko by one of the refrigerators. To her displeasure, Makoto turned to her and waved.

“Good morning, Fukawa-san. How are you holding up?” he asked.

“Well,” replied Touko in a chipped tone, more focused on why she had come here in the first place. She could serve Byakuya scrambled eggs on toast. Or pancakes. Maybe something with fish. Her eyes flitted between the crates of fresh fruit and freezer cases with meat in them.

“That’s good to hear,” said Makoto. “We’re doing shifts taking care of Ishimaru-kun and Asahina-san, which is... interesting.”

He laughed quietly. She didn’t recall saying anything amusing. If she hadn’t had such an important job to do, she would have lectured him on his existence, but instead she plucked a pan off a hook hanging over the centre island. Pancakes today, salted salmon tomorrow.

“Oh, you can cook?” he asked.

“W-What’s that supposed to mean?” she snapped.

Makoto flinched. “Nothing! I... um...”

When Touko was in elementary school, she used to prepare lunches for her childhood sweetheart. Before the whole him pinning her love note to the noticeboard, moving away and getting murdered thing happened, obviously. She also learned how to cook when the local kissaten she bought breakfast from shut down, as the kids in school would steal her lunch or smear boogers into it. With desserts, she had experience making a lot of rejected honmei chocolate, so all together she could practically prepare any meal.

“I lived by myself at my old high school,” Touko decided to say. Later, she would have to pop into the library and grab herself some cookbooks for inspiration, but for now she could make do.

“We’re struggling to think of what to get everyone,” said Makoto. “Asahina-san said she didn’t care what we made her, but when Oogami-san suggested donuts, Ishimaru-kun freaked out and ranted about how donuts weren’t an appropriate breakfast choice.”

“He referred to them as Satan’s glory holes,” said Kyouko, deadpan. Touko stuck up her nose.

“W-Well, I’m making Byakuya-sama pancakes topped with strawberries.” She put a carton of eggs onto a counter. “They have to be perfect for my darling...”

“You’ll do a great job. And hey, even if they’re not perfect, it won’t matter to him now he’s become really fond of you,” said Makoto.

Touko’s fist clenched around an egg, causing it to crack and seep between her fingers. She whipped around, glaring at him. “W-What’s that supposed to mean?”

Makoto twitched. “Ah!”

“Spit it out, you underwear stain!”

He hesitated at the insult, as if confused by it, then added, “Togami-kun has been a lot nicer to you since he got the disease, that’s all. Everyone’s personality has become the opposite. But it’s great that he’s treating you kindly, really. That’s all I’m saying...”

“Well, don’t!”

Anger continued to tremor Touko’s hands as she readied Byakuya’s meal. Just because Makoto had an ugly crooked spike in his hair, he thought that made him like an anime protagonist that was always right and knew everything about everything and should be listened to all the time.

Touko forced herself to breathe in, then out. She couldn’t let him get under her skin. Her priority was looking after Byakuya right now.

***

Over the next three days, Touko brought Byakuya meals to eat. Fetched him books to read. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find any nurse outfits, not in the storage room nor in the infirmary, but she didn’t let that discourage her.

“I’m back, Byakuya-sama,” she said as she entered his room, carrying his dinner on a tray. Despite spending most of her time here now, her heart still quickened whenever she came back in and saw him. Each time, Byakuya would stop what he was doing to look at her, whether it was staring into space with a handsome pout or reading a book.

“My purple primrose!” Byakuya tossed aside the detective novel she had got for him yesterday. “It has been twenty minutes and thirty-three seconds since you left. Though this room blocks all sound, I knew of your approach as your aroma slipped through the gap beneath the door. It is unmistakable. The scent of morning sun after a night of rain... The breath of a book opening near a warm campfire... How I wish I could bathe in your fragrance...”

“T-Thank you,” she said, grinning. She had been showering more lately. Despite how much she despised her naked body and hazy childhood memories, she needed to keep herself and Byakuya safe. Mostly Byakuya. And to accomplish that, she needed to be free from dirt and germs.

Touko brought the tray over to his table, walking slowly so as to not upset the berry smoothie and bowl of chicken soup on it. As she set it down, her gaze fell onto the yellow rose in the vase sitting at the centre of the table. When she and Byakuya ate there, together, she could pretend that they were on a date in a fancy restaurant. Though she would be just as happy if they ate somewhere lower class. Or even just at home, so long as it was their home.

“My dear, you have been so helpful bringing me books to peruse,” said Byakuya, still sitting on his bed. “However - and this is no fault of yours - none of these selections have satisfied me.”

She winced.

“S-Sorry, I’m not too well-versed in your favourite genres. P-Please, feel free to take your anger out on me...”

Her face screwed up as she waited for him to strike her face, or grab her by the hair and sling her over his lap so he could spank her. She trembled, feeling like needles were being pressed into her skin. He had never done those things to her before, or hit her at all in fact, but that was how her father disciplined her mothers.

“Actually, my peardrop, I was wondering if you have a copy of any of your books for me to read,” said Byakuya.

Touko blinked. “M-M-Mine?”

“Indeed. Do you have any I could read?”

“I have a few copies in my room...”

“Perfect! I can read while you feed me. On the bed today, please.”

Her brain stalled and almost gave up entirely. Somehow, she managed to manoeuvre her legs well enough to sprint out of the room. The school library didn't stock any of her novels, but she had a few copies in her room that she had brought in case she needed to use them for reference. Sometimes, when she had writer's block, she reread a passage to refresh herself on her writing style, or see how she had previously tackled something in the prose that was giving her issues now.

Towers of books stood on her desk as well as surrounded her bed. Touko dithered, unsure what to bring back. All of her published works were romances, which she knew he didn’t read. There was her I-Novel, but she was still working on it and wasn't ready for anyone to read it yet. She took a deep breath before extracting a copy of the book that had first brought her to the public’s attention from one of the stacks. So Lingers the Ocean.

A romance, but a highly acclaimed one, and he had asked for one of her books, so even in his current state, he must have been expecting a romance...

... right?

Touko whined and shook her head. Now wasn’t the time to second guess. Before she could lose her nerve, she ran out of her room. He could only have known about her romance books, not an I-Novel she hadn’t told a soul about. Therefore he had to want to read one of her romance novels. That was an honour. A dream came true.

Even if she had once overheard him tell Makoto that he would rather gorge his eyeballs out with a dessert spoon.

Her hand froze, an inch from Byakuya’s door. She clenched her jaw and forced herself on, into the room. As soon as she entered, Byakuya straightened and whipped his head toward her.

“I’m back,” she blurted, even though it was obvious, and walked over to the table where she had left his breakfast. “With a book. And I... um, m-made you chicken soup. I got it from a sealed can in the storage room, so we know it hasn’t been tampered with.”

“Astute thinking, my precious kitty cat!” he said, happier about tinned soup than anyone she ever knew. “Though I trust you explicitly. Still, if you were to poison me, by your tender hand is how I wish to die.”

He would never have said something like that before. Romantic as it was, the thought of losing him stabbed the back of her throat. She mustered a small smile and nodded, unsure how to respond or feel.

“Come. I am starving, both for food and your attention,” he said, patting the bed.

She grabbed his dinner and sat on the chair by his bed. With the tray balanced on her lap, she pulled the book out from under her armpit and passed it to him. Her heart skipped as he opened it without complaint and started reading.

Since getting the despair disease, he had become more emotive, more open with his emotions, but now only a small furrow dipped between his eyebrows. The look of concentration reminded her of how he used to be, before his illness. Remembering she was meant to be feeding him, she dove her spoon into the creamy beige soup and offered him a mouthful. His eyes flickered and he parted his lips, letting her feed him. Then his attention was back on the book.

Touko tried to keep her hands steady as she fed him more soup. After the first spoonful, his gaze didn’t stray from the book, and he only opened his mouth when the spoon touched against his lips. She wished she knew what he was thinking. What he thought of her book. But not wanting to disrupt him, she continued feeding him in silence and so he continued reading in silence.

When he turned the page, she shivered at the rustle of paper, like a hand was brushing over her lower stomach. Her fingers grazed against his cheek as she slid in more soup between his luscious lips. The light touch made her chest flutter. Made her ache. She shifted to sit slightly closer to him, mind buzzing. Even if she wanted to say something to him now, she didn’t think she could without vomiting. He was so intoxicating. Any moment now, she thought she would burst.

Byakuya coughed into his hand. Touko twitched, dropping the spoon, and it tumbled down his front. Hot chicken soup and all.

“BYAKUYA-SAMA!” she shrieked.

The soup's colour seemed to have become more yellow when it splattered against his shirt, which must have cost hundreds of thousands of yen. Pocket change for him, but it was the principle. Touko had majorly screwed up.

“Are you hurt?” she asked, clutching her head in both hands. As his nurse and future spouse, she should have been more careful. She could have scalded him. Scarred him. Burned one of his nipples off.

“My vixen temptress, please do not distress. I am fine,” he assured her. “I am the fiend for startling you. Instead of clearing my throat and causing you emotional turmoil, I should have suffocated.”

“N-No! Byakuya-sama needs to breathe!” she said, her head jerking back. In his current state, there was a chance he would actually do it.

“Ah! But you are the reason that I breathe, my tofu heart-shaped block. In any case, the stain should come out in the wash with little difficulty. Here, I will remove my shirt and show you I am unharmed...”

Byakuya set the book down beside him and unfastened his tie. Without hesitation, he began unbuttoning his shirt. Her eyes bulged. Moments ago, her mouth had been scorched dry, but now she could feel it flooding. She couldn’t swallow though. Only stare. His fingers fondled each button, popping them free from top to bottom, until he peeled off his jacket and then his shirt.

“See? My skin is unharmed.”

Touko could see that very well. While he didn’t have as much muscle definition as Sakura or Mondo, his stomach still looked rather toned. But that wasn’t what made her breathing hitch. He could have weighed half or double what he did and her reaction wouldn’t have changed. What was making her bite her lip and stare was the simple act of him undressing.

Now one less layer lay between her and his heart. She could barely concentrate as he started talking again.

“Before you resume feeding me, let me quickly relay my thoughts on your novel so far,” he said. “Your writing prowess exceeds far beyond that of a mere wordsmith. With ink and paper, you can captivate any reader like no other. I see how many became bewitched by your prose. How you set nationwide trends with your literature.”

Her eyes shot up to his face. A grin spread across her lips. “T-Thank you, Byakuya-sama!”

“Why, even I, brilliant as I am, perfection incarnate, am considering vacating my position as Togami heir and becoming a fisherman.” Byakuya touched one hand’s fingertips to his chest. “Of course, I would spurn anyone who threw themselves at my feet, vying for companionship, for my heart is only for you.”

Her mind spun as she tried to comprehend what he said. Many times, he had boasted of his conglomerate’s power and influence. He always spoke of his family name with such pride, as if without it he would be nothing. For him to say he would abdicate his conglomerate...

... he really was in the throes of the despair disease.

Touko’s smile fell. Byakuya blinked.

“Something bothers you, my love,” he said.

This should have been a dream come true. Spending time with Byakuya. Feeding him. Taking care of him. Getting showered with compliments by him. Receiving endless pet names from him.Yet as she stared into his pale blue eyes, and he into her grey pair, it was as though neither were really looking at the other. She was not looking at Byakuya Togami, and he was not looking at Touko Fukawa.

“I don’t want this,” she mumbled. Her hands balled to fists against her lap as she hunched her shoulders. “You may resemble him, but you are not Byakuya-sama. Byakuya-sama would not abandon his family’s conglomerate. He would not trust anyone else, he would not flood me with compliments and he wouldn’t call me beautiful.”

That was what men who wanted something from her did. What girls would do before asking to be a character in her next novel, or asking her to buy them a new handbag or designer clothing.

“The despair disease has made you completely the opposite,” she said. “T-Therefore... Byakuya-sama must really hate me.”

She almost choked on a sob as she scrubbed her hands against her eyes.

“Touko.”

His gentle tone caught her by surprise. Up to now, it had been loud and grandiose. Touko looked at him, and for the first time in days, he wasn’t smiling.

“I hate to be the source of your sorrow and I do not say this to paint over your wound. But do you really think the disease makes the patient adopt an opposite personality?”

“Y-Yes?” She rubbed her knuckles against her nose. Her eyes burned. So did her throat. “That swim freak, usually so full of energy and passion, doesn’t care about anyone or anything. And Ishimaru, once uptight, is now swearing like a shit-faced college student.”

“But he still wishes for rules to be followed, does he not?”

Touko hesitated. “Eh?”

“If I only loved you due to my ailment and in reality hated you, would Ishimaru have not begun to hate Oowada instead of still calling him kyoudai? Would Asahina not be hostile to the others? To Oogami?”

She teethed on her thumbnail, brow furrowing.

“Some say the opposite of love is indifference,” she said.

“But why is Ishimaru still loud?” he pressed on. “Why does he still wish for rules to be obeyed? Why am I not a dunce like Hagakure and Naegi? Why do I feel the same disdain for them as I did before?”

Her eyes flickered.

“I... I don’t know...”

Perhaps only some traits became opposite. Byakuya tilted his head to one side.

“Monobear referred to the illness as ‘despair disease’, not ‘opposite’ or ‘topsy-turvy’ disease. With Asahina, it is harder to discern admittedly, but Ishimaru is a satisfactory example. The disease doesn’t specifically make a person behave in the opposite way, but in a way that would cause themselves despair.”

Touko stayed quiet. Admittedly, what he said made some sense. As much sense as could be had when it came to this bizarre disease. Byakuya moved slightly closer to her.

“For example, Asahina would despair at being someone who does not care about others, especially her precious Oogami. She is no longer active, no longer sociable. No longer does she stand up for anyone, or anything. For someone who scorns me and Celes for being insensitive, she has become just that. And Ishimaru would despair at himself for wallowing in his loss instead of uniting us. For his uncouth language. His hostility. But he would despair especially because how he is coping is not what Oowada would have wanted. His new personality is an extreme version of his old self, and one that Oowada would despise.”

Touko nodded slowly. Yes, that also made sense. A valid theory for sure.

“A person who wants to unite their peers may become a liar,” said Byakuya. “Someone strong may become a crying fool. A zany individual may become boring and humourless. And a nurse could be drawn to causing despair and murder.”

She cringed as she imagined herself standing over Byakuya and a puddle of blood, not with red eyes and a long tongue like in her nightmares, but with her own face. In his current state, he would have slit his own throat if she asked him to.

But she wasn't the person with the disease right now.

“What about you?” she asked. “What's your despair?”

“What do you think?”

Touko thought.

“Despair would be you going against what you hold pride for,” she said. “You would embody values that contradict how a Togami should be.”

“Correct. I used to spurn romance, but now I openly confess my devotion for another. However, I am not like Asahina and Ishimaru. If they recover, they will feel guilty about how they acted, brainless gnats that they are. I, meanwhile, would know I was forced to behave this way due to the disease, so I would feel no shame. I could easily detach myself from these actions.”

When she had tried to detach herself from her emotions, it had created a murderous alter, yet he claimed doing so made him stronger. She nodded quietly. He lifted his chin and paused, brow furrowing as he stared across the room at empty space.

“That,” he said, quieter, “is unless the person I showed affection toward was someone I really did have feelings for prior to catching the disease.”

Her head nodded twice more before his words sank in. She froze. Blinked. Stared. “Byakuya-sama?”

Not a quiver touched his face, rock hard in its seriousness.

“I have not known you for a long time.” He adjusted his glasses. “And yet... you intrigue me.”

Normally, this would be the stuff of dreams. Touko wiggled slightly.

“H-How do I know this isn’t the disease making you lie about this?” she asked.

“Remember when I told you to take a bath because you were stinking up the library? Ah, how cruel I was.” He rested the back of his hand against his forehead and dipped his head back a few fractions. “If I simply wanted you gone, I wouldn’t have told you how to remedy the issue. If I wanted you to leave me alone, I would tell you, instead of letting you loiter around near me as often as I did.”

She chewed her lip. Her chest ached, hungering to believe him, yet it was as if a window stood between them. Though she could see his lips and hear his voice, when she tried to latch onto his words, she was met with cold glass. And if they couldn’t touch, then how could she be sure this wasn’t an illusion? As ingenuine as a boy who asked you on a date only to ditch you during a movie at the theatre?

“What about me intrigues you?” she asked.

“My winter blossom, you are a puzzle I cannot fathom. Every time I believe I have all the pieces that create your whole, I find another, and I must rethink your entirety. I can never fit your facets together in a way that makes sense, that explains the feelings that stir in my gut. When I try, when I think about you, I don't realise until hours later how much time has passed without resolution. Following one such night where I pondered you deeply, if I had not disposed of my bin's contents in the morning, I could have fished out a used tissue to prove how much I thought of you before I had this disease...”

“Y-You-?” Touko covered her mouth. She tried to visualise what he said but could only see white. And when she tried to recite his words, they jumbled into a drone in her ears.

Her hands shifted up to her eyes. Tension pressed into her body, as if she was being encased in ice. Reality felt unreal. The unrealness of this all felt too real. Any moment, she would wake up, and the ice trapping her would shatter and hopefully not break her apart too much. Any moment now. Any moment now. Any...

Warmth enveloped her hands. The pressure on her body melted away, and the droning that stormed in her head quietened. A gentle pull lowered her hands from her eyes, and then Byakuya's face hung in her vision like the Sun. He released one of her hands so he could cradle her cheek. His other hand continued to hold one of hers.

“Touko,” he murmured.

“Y-Yeah?”

She could have sworn he was leaning closer to her. Or perhaps she was the one leaning in. Or maybe the room was caving in around them, about to crush them in its fist, but she didn’t care if it was. Right now, Byakuya was all she could see, hear, then feel.

Their lips touched, butterfly light, yet it was enough to shoot sparks through her body. Touko’s arms shuddered. Her toes spasmed. A sharp intake of breath pulsed in her throat. She squeezed his hand, as if to steady herself, and then they both nudged their heads forward some more.

In doing so, their lenses clacked together. With her eyes barely open and her hand in his, she didn’t particularly need her eye wear right now. While she could never tire of basking in his glory, Touko had seen Byakuya plenty of times, had memorised the hue of his eyes, the shape of his nose. Every minute detail was branded into the back of her eyelids as though she had spent not just a few weeks looking at him, but years.

Byakuya let go of her cheek to whip both their glasses off, throwing them aside before placing his hand on her middle. Without having to worry about their glasses bonking against each other. their lips pressed together more firmly. There was probably an angle they could have tilted their heads at, or a shallow depth they could have remained at, in order to kiss comfortably with their glasses still on. In most of the romances that Touko had read, the presence of eye wear never seemed to disturb anyone when they kissed.

But this was real, like really real, a mantra that she internally repeated to herself. Out loud, though, the only sounds that left her mouth were huffs and pants. Same with Byakuya. Their mouths tripped and fumbled together, lips never locking, constantly moving. Touko didn’t care to find that one perfect position for that one perfect kiss. She wanted to kiss everywhere on him. His lips. His face. The rest of his body.

Her thighs rubbed together. And she wanted his lips not just on her own, but all over her body too. Normally, when she imagined another's mouth roving her body, she woke up tangled in sheets and screaming, covered in reopened wounds only she could see. That wouldn't wash off, bleeding memories of faceless men and faces of men she knew too well down the drain.

But Byakuya was different. Byakuya made her heart feel soft. Made the world feel softer. Up to now, she had been holding one of his hands and doing nothing with her other. Touko raised her free hand and threaded her fingers through his hair. Also soft. She had never known any part of him to not be cold hard metal, that cut anything or anyone that tried to get too close to him.

Perhaps it wasn't so much that he was different, but that he was the same as her.

Their heads shifted, and Touko’s bottom lip got caught between Byakuya’s. He bit down gently, not enough to hurt, but enough for her to feel. Her stomach flipped and with a groan, she pulled him into her.

The back of her head hit the bed. His body pressed down into hers. Their kiss survived the fall, but then he rose up slightly and their mouths popped apart wetly. She wondered what he was doing. What he was thinking as his hot breath peppered her face.

“God...” Byakuya murmured before submerging again. He cupped her cheek with one hand while his other hand continued gripping hers, fingers laced together.

No one else had ever held her hand while they kissed her before. Usually they just grasped her by the head or throat. If Byakuya did either to her, she thought she wouldn't mind because it was him. She doubted he would though. Maybe in this despair-state he might, if she asked.

But Touko preferred being kissed like this. Even with the disease, his kisses felt very much like him. He took his time. Didn’t rush. Very thorough, to the extent that she wouldn't have been surprised if their lips were blistered by the end. As a Togami, he wouldn’t do a half-ass job of anything.

Or perhaps, she thought, he kissed this way because it was his first time. With each kiss, each groan, a new sensation could have been blooming in his chest that he had to digest lest it become overgrown and suffocate him.

Her fingers tangled in his hair. She couldn't imagine him kissing anyone else like this. Nobody would have been good enough for him.

Nobody except her.

Touko smiled against him and hooked a leg around his back, feeling her ankle slip a little on his sweat. They barely stirred otherwise, focused on the other’s mouths. Warm. Wet. Inviting. She pressed her tongue against his lips, only meaning to taste, but to her surprise, she felt him open his mouth. With a shudder, she parted her lips as well, and his tongue slid over hers and into her. The muffled groan that shook out of Byakuya’s mouth vibrated through her body. Her head whirled.

He was inside of her. Well, inside of her mouth, anyway. For now. And he was enjoying it. So was she. Their tongues tumbled together, licking and swatting and twisting and pushing. It wasn't the steamy battle so often described in romance novels, where tongues battled for dominance, but more of a dance, their tongues going back and forth between mouths.

The area between her thighs tingled, hot and needy. Touko ground against Byakuya, huffing and panting. Equally restless, he pressed closer, and then was when she felt another part that felt like it wanted to be inside her too. Something firm, between his legs, rubbing against her.

She stiffened. He did too and raised his head.

“Is something troubling you, my amethyst jewel?” he asked, confused.

“Um...” Her eyes flickered. Without his tongue in her mouth, her head felt rather hollow. “Byakuya-sama, your...”

Byakuya didn't answer. Touko swallowed.

“You’re... excited down there, aren’t you?”

For all the dirty talk she did in her head and out loud, she now cringed, face burning. She had almost forgotten his body wasn't smooth all over like a marble statue.

“Ah! It appears your heavenly body has kindled my rod of white might,” he said. He stroked her cheek, and she leaned into his touch. “You say you are not pretty, but to me you are divine. What you consider blemishes add flavour. I could spend hours worshipping your every crevice, every drop of sweat. Regardless, it was not your beauty that drew me to you initially. As I have said, you intrigue me, Touko. And I desire to bed you.”

Touko shivered. He wanted to have sex with her. There were so many different positions they could experiment with. His face could contort into so many different expressions, and he could make so many different moans. The possibilities were endless. This would have been a dream come true... normally.

“Byakuya-sama.” Touko frowned. “We should wait before we... do it. Until you’re better.”

“I am fully cognizant and willing. This is something I want to do with you even without the disease, even if I deny it to myself.”

He wasn't making this easy for her. She wanted to have sex with him, so so much. But hearing him talk made her more sure with her decision.

“I know.” Touko breathed. Steadied herself, even as her heart fluttered. “However, you are only being so bold because of the disease. I would like to wait until you’re better, when you properly come to terms with your feelings. That’s the only way it’ll feel right.”

Other guys, other men, usually didn’t take her ‘no’s for an answer. Touko braced herself, waiting for him to shout and demand or coax her with honey like poison in his tone.

“As you wish,” he said. He sounded like he was smiling, even though he looked like mist without her glasses on. “But... would it be acceptable if we were to share a bed tonight? Not for intercourse. I just... wish to be close to you.”

She hadn’t expected him to say that.

“O-Of course!” she blurted. “But... um...”

Her eyes flickered, even though she couldn’t see it.

“Y-Your... rod-of-white-might...”

“It will recede within the half hour,” he replied. “As it usually does. If it bothers you, a cold shower may quell its temper faster, or I could grasp it in my hand and...”

Touko nearly choked. “Whatever you want!”

A plethora of images exploded in her head. Byakuya naked in the shower, a steam cloud hovering around his crotch. His eyelashes webbed together with water as he slowly dragged a loofah down his leg. Him perched on the edge of the toilet, biting his lip as he pumped his fist. Trying to stay quiet, but unable to stop the occasional grunt slipping out. She didn’t know how she would be able to behave herself while he was doing any of that. Just thinking about it made something deep within her itch, yearning to be stroked. Rubbed. Sucked.

“What I want is whatever you want, my violet enchantress,” he said. When she didn’t answer, panting and trembling, he got off her and lay on his back. He was close enough to be able to take her hand in his, and when he squeezed it, the visions around Touko faded. She was back in the room again.

They remained like that, together, hand in hand.

***

A few days later, Touko awoke to an empty bed. Coincidentally, that same morning, Byakuya and Aoi seemed to be back to their usual selves. As for Kiyotaka, he was nowhere to be seen when Makoto, Sakura and Aoi visited the infirmary. They only found Hifumi and Celes there, beaten up. During their search, they bumped into Touko and Byakuya, and after they had brought them up to date with what had happened so far, everyone went on an expedition around the school, trying to find Hifumi and Celes’s attacker.

Touko’s group soon stumbled upon Kiyotaka’s corpse in the science lab storage room. He was sprawled across a pentagram painted in blood on the floor. One moment, she was staring at the hole in Kiyotaka’s chest where his heart should have been, then the next she was standing in her room.

Switching from Syo fronting would never not be disorientating. She grimaced and pulled out her electronic student ID card from her bra to check the time. At the least, more than half a day had passed since Syo swapped in, but at the most, several days could have passed. There weren’t any calendars at the school. All she knew was that Monobear would be doing the night time announcement soon.

Which was just as well, as she was exhausted, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep yet. Not until she found out what happened at the trial that must have happened earlier. Not until she confirmed that Byakuya was still alive.

Familiar with his schedule, she headed to the library, only to find him not there. Touko searched the whole area. Byakuya wasn’t at a desk, wasn’t by a bookshelf and he wasn’t in the small room at the back. With every minute that passed without him present, the invisible grip on her neck tightened. He always visited the library at this time. She waited past Monobear’s night time announcement in case he was running late, but when he still didn’t come, she ran to his room and pummelled on his door.

“BYAKUYA-SAMA!” she screamed despite how he wouldn’t have heard her even if he was in there. Soundproof rooms. He also wouldn’t have been able to hear her if he was dead...

The door opened. Byakuya flinched back as she punched his chest by accident.

“S-Sorry!” she said, snapping a hand up to her mouth. “I didn’t mean to!”

“Idiot,” he said, very much his usual self again.

“P-Please, punish me as you see fit. I - ”

“Shut up. I’m fine. Fortunately for you, raindrops hit harder than you.”

Byakuya was definitely his usual self. A slight smile curled her lips. And most importantly, he was okay. He was alive.

He was alive. Her lips wobbled as her face scrunched.

“B-Byakuya-sama!”

“Oi, don’t be doing all that,” said Byakuya. As much as she wanted to oblige, she couldn't stop herself. She rubbed her knuckles against her eyes, sniffling and shaking all over, and heard him sigh. “I don’t want Asahina finding you crying outside of my room. You may as well come in and stay until you calm down. We need to talk anyway.”

Touko stopped crying immediately and twitched. “Huh?”

His frown tightened and he started closing the door. Before it could shut, she flitted under his arm and went inside. As she walked further in, she looked around. The room had the same carpet as last time, the same paintings on the walls and the same number of glasses in the holder.

Yet everything felt different. Same but different, like she had been looking at the room’s reflection in a mirror before. Byakuya sat at the table, while Touko shuffled over and stood nearby, wringing her hands.

“We are down three competitors now,” he said, crossing one leg over the other. “Ishimaru, Yamada and Ludenberg.”

What an ice breaker. Her eyebrows rose. “How...?

“Ludenberg and Yamada tricked Ishimaru into thinking they were going to perform a ritual to exorcise Oowada's soul from his body.” The way Byakuya spoke was like someone discussing last week's homework. “While the rest of us were asleep, they led him to the storage room and killed him, at which point Asahina and myself recovered from the despair disease. As you will recall, we were then led around on a chase to find the killer and locate the others, during which Ludenberg faked being attacked and then killed Yamada.”

Touko pulled a face. “So much for her claims about wanting to live in peace here indefinitely.”

She would have thought that Celes would need an incentive like ten billion yen before she considered killing anyone. A smirk curled Byakuya’s lips.

“Ludenberg made it very clear that she hated being here more than anyone. All her preaching about how we should adapt to this place had been one of her many lies. I must say, it was very ironic that after killing Ishimaru, she caught the despair disease and could only tell the truth. That was a rather amusing revelation to be had during the trial.”

Now that Byakuya didn't have the disease, he spoke in that blunt way of his that Touko so loved. Touko loved the cool intensity of his gaze. How he pushed up his glasses, how his cheek twitched when he was irritated and how his lips flattened as he smiled. Byakuya went on to fill in the rest of the details of the murders while Touko listened, fidgeting her hands. Celes and Hifumi worked together for the most part, planning to frame Yasuhiro as Kiyotaka’s murderer and whoever Celes chose to murder, but unbeknownst to Hifumi, Celes had chosen him to be her victim.

“As if that oaf could orchestrate such a convoluted plan,” Byakuya scoffed, arms folded over his chest. A chest that she had seen nude. His fingers drummed against his upper arm. She gulped as she remembered how his fingers had felt caressing her face. “Hagakure was hysterical when he saw the crime scene. He believed its legitimacy enough that some of the others almost considered him to be the culprit.”

“Idiots,” sneered Touko. Byakuya nodded.

“Indeed. Ludenberg was also unfortunate that a lot of us had alibis. If I was superstitious, I would think the despair disease also broke her lucky streak... but really it came to poor planning on her part. She is no Genocider Syo.”

At the mention of her alter, Touko cringed and looked away.

“W-Well, it’s good that we both survived. If you were to...” She shuddered. Moved the conversation on. “W-We were away from the others, and these rooms are impossible to break into. But even so... I wouldn’t allow a finger to touch you! Anyone who tried... would feel my wrath!”

Byakuya didn’t respond. She slid her gaze back onto him. A wrinkle divided his brow, and he had steepled his fingers together.

“Byakuya-sama?”

A few seconds passed until he spoke, not looking at her. “We ought to talk about our time together away from the others. About what I said... what I did... we did...”

His face was pink. Normally, he only flushed with colour when he was angry. She tilted her head to one side. There were many things she could have said to him, all of them sticking to her tongue. Carefully, she sifted through until only one stuck and she swallowed the rest.

“... I’m glad that you recovered.”

Byakuya blinked. “You are? Even though I was... you know?”

“Yup.” Touko nodded firmly. “The Byakuya-sama in front of me right now is the one who dominates my thoughts... who owns my heart... I can more than easily create my own fantasy Byakuya-sama if I wanted to. But you... the you that you are now is perfection only stardust could create. B-Besides..”

She poked her index fingers together, grinning.

“... I don’t want to be with you because you’re in despair and I’m immune to it. I want us to both be in something else...”

“What, the opposite? Hope?” scoffed Byakuya.

“Love.”

Byakuya uncrossed his legs and glowered. “That will only happen in my nightmares. What I said to you before we...” He almost tripped on his tongue. “... did... that thing together... that was all a ploy by Monobear to humiliate me. I absolutely don’t have a shred of feelings for you.”

Touko blinked, then bowed her head forward. Her shoulders slumped.

“Yes, Byakuya-sama,” she said in a dull voice.

“My children will be born from high quality women... and I shall marry whoever gives me the most worthy heir. As is tradition. You hear that?”

“Yes, Byakuya-sama,” she intoned.

“Yes. Well...” He coughed. “I think that settles business here then. I just wanted to clarify all this to you so you don’t get any wrong ideas. Now, as I have updated you on the last trial, I believe that makes us even for you being my nurse while I was unwell. So you can leave now. Go on, get out.”

His tone sharpened toward the end. Without a word, Touko dragged her feet to his door, her head still tilted forward. She opened it, and was about to leave when he spoke up again.

“Fukawa.”

Touko paused, holding the door open.

“... that book of yours I read was actually pretty good. I can see why it won awards, even if it’s not my genre of choice.”

She nodded silently, still facing toward the door.

“That’s all,” he said. “Leave.”

The door shut behind her. For a few more seconds, she stood alone in the corridor. Her shoulders started to shake. Ragged breaths rocked her body. She clapped her hands to her cheeks and slowly lifted her head, a wide grin on her face.

Feeling the happiest she had been in a long time, Touko giggled and skipped to her room.

However long it took for him to realise his feelings, she would gladly wait.

#togafuka #touko fukawa #toko fukawa #byakuya togami #danganronpa #fanfiction #togafukaweek #one shot #there are others but. whatever.

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