#these are all things i see speculated a lot but it was just his pattern and it was accepted for the time and he had the world at his feet

[fideidefenswhore]

"She had found it difficult to make the transition from a mistress with the upper hand to the submissive wife that Henry, a conventional husband, now expected her to be, and her tantrums sorely tried him, driving him to seek solace in other beds"

Interesting quote and a common sentiment, so let’s unpack this:

we know henry also had mistresses while married to c/oa, but...

w/eir et al insist she was the perfect wife, that she never argued with him (the latter of which is not even true, we have contemporary observation otherwise, even before the GM, but accepting the premise for the sake of argument)

so... was it in response to ' tantrums' or was it just henry and a pattern already established?

bcus in the very limited way they acknowledge her upset (which is generally just limited to the elevation of his mistress' son)

the infidelity is offensive but not the central point of the anger, not enough to risk loss of influence to fight against it 

it is not written about as a 'tantrum' (nor should it be, i’m merely pointing out the double standard), it is the noble, righteous purpose of her wanting to preserve her rights and that of her daughter

these incidents don’t receive the same treatment even though their context is similar, bcus...at least two of henry's mistresses while he was married to anne were supporters of her opponent (mary, also a threat to her daughter’s status)

so... was it 'tantrums' or was she also not going down without a fight because she viewed them as risking her and elizabeth's security ?

but it doesn't get the same treatment.

and the anne hastings thing with catherine does seem more personal but i digress , it is definitely not spoken of as a 'tantrum' either (nor should it be, again, i’m just pointing out the different language that tends to be used, and the blame cast upon anne & not her predecessor)

what i find really gross here is the implication and double negative inherent within

henry would not have taken mistresses while married to anne if she had more submissive, calmer

dignified even

but catherine was the perfect wife and model of queenly dignity and never said a harsh word to or against him

so... interesting to imply to avoid this she should have been 'more like catherine ' (again, whatever that means) when...it also happened to catherine?

we have a disrespectful comment but no actual record (altho it was a very short space of time) of henry taking mistresses while married to jane s/eymour

but no one says shit like coa should have been more like JS

yet i have seen people argue JS was emulating catherine and that's why he didn't cheat on her..... while forgetting he did cheat on catherine??

[sturnsbaebackup]

can you write something about how the fans have started speculating something between you and chris??

RUMORS FLY - CHRIS STURNIOLO

summary: you and chris have been talking, and the fans are starting to notice.

warnings: none!

-

as nick and matt argue about god knows what into their microphones, chris stares down at his phone with a small smile. “chris what’s your opinion on this?” nick asks, but it appears chris hasn’t heard him.

“chris, get off of your fucking phone. we’re on the podcast! who are you even texting that’s so important right now?” matt groans. quickly after being called out chris puts his phone away. he’s very clearly flustered, and he says, “i was just um— texting nate!”

“texting nate? with that big of a smile on your face? i didn’t know nate was so funny… but whatever can you please just get off of your phone and help us settle this debate,” matt says, glaring at chris with a wondering eye. not even his brothers knew about you and chris, but they were bound to find out soon enough.

chris feels his phone buzz on his lap, and he waits until he has a chance to answer it. he doesn’t want to tell you that he’s recording because he doesn’t want to stop talking to you, so he tried to multitask, but clearly he’s not very good at it.

nick suddenly gets up and walks over to chris, snatching his phone from his hands. as he does so, he see’s your contact name and the photo of you and chris cuddling at the top of the screen. “oh my god that’s—“ he blurts out, but immediately stops himself. “—enough! i’m taking your phone until the end of the episode” nick says, immediately catching himself before he reveals you and chris’ secret.

chris’ cheeks turn bright pink, and his heart rate is through the roof. he knows he’ll be grilled with questions once they’re done recording, and he doesn’t know if he’s ready for that yet. eventually the pod is over, and immediately nick hands chris his phone with a smirk.

“have fun texting y/n!” nick shouts as chris begins walking downstairs to his room. a loud gasp can be heard from matt, and chris can feel his cheeks burning up. he scurries into his room and replies to your texts, and immediately opens tiktok to rewatch the tiktok you guys had made a couple days ago. he scrolls through the endless comments, and begins to notice a reoccurring pattern.

“are they dating?!”

“oh i ship this”

“i think they’re dating! i mean, y/n is wearing his brand…”

and so forth. he bites his cheeks to hold his smile in, but ultimately fails when he sees all of the support even when you guys haven’t gone public. as he scrolls through his phone, a gentle knock can be heard on his door.

“come in nick!” he exclaims, not even looking up from his phone. he knows it’s nick because matt has a tendency to just walk in, or bang on the door. one or the other.

“can i ask you something?” nick asks, sitting in the end of chris’ bed.

“yeah, anything,” chris says, putting his phone down and fixing his posture.

“why didn’t you tell me and matt?”

“um— well we aren’t really telling anyone. i mean we’re not dating yet, but—“ he pause, “actually i don’t really know, honestly. i guess i’m just nervous that if i start telling people things will go south,” he shrugs.

“are you planning to ask her out soon?”

“yeah, i am actually. i was gonna do it this weekend, and make it a big surprise for the fans but now i don’t know. the fans are already speculating things, so i feel like i should just scratch the whole big idea i had and ask her the next time we hang out.”

“oh! that was also one of my questions! how the hell have you been hanging out with y/n and both me and matt didn’t know about it?! we live together and i still didn’t know!”

chris chuckles, “there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me nick. and it’s gonna stay that way, so if you could stop asking me a million questions that would be great,” he sarcastically grins, and nick just rolls his eyes. nick closes the door behind him, and chris immediately goes back to texting you.

—

the podcast episode was posted a few days ago, and immediately the fans have been questioning who chris was texting. there have been many many guesses, but most have been you. chris feels like it’s his fault, and the last thing he wants is for you to feel like you’re being led on, so there’s only one thing to do.

“y/n, i have a question,” chris says nervously, looking down at you as your head rests on his arm.

“what is it?” you ask, knowing exactly what it is. or hoping, at least.

“well, obviously i like you. a lot. and i was just wondering if you wanted to make this official? will you be my girlfriend?”

“of course i will chris, is that even a question?” you giggle, and it feels like a weight has been lifted off of chris’ shoulders. he smiles at you and gently places his hands on your cheeks, pulling your faces towards his. your lips melt together, and your hands find their way to the back of his neck.

you both end up falling asleep in chris’ bed, and while you both nap, you’re unaware that nick and matt both arrive back home. they enter chris’ room after calling his name a few times with no response, only to see you both asleep. of course, them being the immature boys they are, take your guys’ picture. unfortunately, you learn about this the hard way when you see the photo in their photo dump a few days later. you gasp and immediately check the comments, expecting tons of hate comments.

“i knew it was y/n! they’re so cute!”

“AWWW”

“cutest couple ever”

you immediately text chris, and you both share a big grin over the situation. although you never would have expected your situation with chris to have gotten semi-exposed, you were just glad everyone was so supportive.

[dira333]

Bakugo x Reader, 6 parts, Timeskip AU

Not everyone is born with a Soulmark. But even if you are, it doesn't make things easier.

Warnings: None, Angst to Fluff.

Chapters are going to be posted daily.

Part 1

Deku’s Soulmark is on his shoulder, barely noticeable in the mess of freckles. He’s got it just shortly after Katsuki, of course because Katsuki always gets things first. Like his teeth, or his Quirk. Katsuki thinks his Soulmark is a lot cooler, something like a tribal pattern, but it looks even better. The only annoying thing about it is the placement. It’s a fat, blueish-black mass on his left ass cheek and his mother has told him not to show it around.

Not that he would. He only showed it to Deku to prove that he got his mark first. 

-

The dream is always the same.

Flakes of Ash are flowing through the air like snowflakes. Upturned tables and chairs make it hard to navigate the room, but he’s on it, moving through the Chaos.

Katsuki spots a leg first, lifts the desk you must have tried to hide under.

Your face is covered in soot, your features barely recognizable. He sinks to his knees at your side, cradles your head in his hands.

“Wake up,” he begs you, his heart hammering in his throat. “Wake up.”

You never open your eyes. Instead, he’s the one who wakes up, stares at the ceiling above him, and curses. 

It’s known to happen. Just another symptom of his bond. The longer it takes you to find your Soulmate, the more of this you get to experience. And it’s not like he’s not looking. But it’s a different kind of looking, now that he’s the Number 2 Hero in Japan.

Katsuki hits his pillow a few times, settles again. If he falls asleep now, he can get another hour of much-needed rest. 

But rest won’t come.

Instead, he thinks about Deku, who’s already found his Soulmate. Just another win over him. Though, he doubts Deku’s counting them like he is.

When he closes his eyes, your face is the only thing he sees. So still, covered in dirt. If only he could brush away the dirt, maybe he’d be able to find you.

If only he could dream a little longer.

-

“Soulmate Mark finally spotted? Read more about Dynamight Secret.” Katsuki snorts as he clicks on the link. As usual, it’s nothing but speculation and a blurry photograph of him. This time, they claim a new bruise on his biceps as a possible Soulmark. If only they knew. Hah!

His mother had been right, all these years ago, to tell him to keep it covered.

Not that he’d have been running around, presenting his buttocks to strangers, otherwise. But he’s seen the crazy. Still remembers all those fake Soulmarks, the exasperation in Shoto’s voice when he’d been the first - and worst - victim to fall to it. 

He’s not going to let that happen to him. He’ll find you. But on his own terms.

-

“Hey, Man, you’re up?” Kirishima knocks on his door. “I’m making breakfast.”

“Let me do it,” he insists, stepping out of his room. “I want it to be edible.”

Kirishima grins. “You could just admit that you’re going to miss me.”

“As if,” Katsuki grunts, pushing him out of the way. Kirishima laughs, the sound familiar and warm. Yes. Katsuki is going to miss him.

But he has no time for that now. The weather is nice today, granting them a blue sky and no clouds. Katsuki’s sweating his ass off, leaving handprints on cardboard box after cardboard box. Mina’s running circles around them, Kaminari as usual not lifting a finger. He claims he’s responsible for the music, the food delivery, or the navigation, never mind the fact that Kirishima could drive to Mina’s place blindfolded by now. 

And then they’re done, crashing on Kirishima’s dark red Couch that eerily fits into Mina’s vibrantly colored living room. Kaminari’s handing out beer from the fridge, phone awkwardly tucked between shoulder and ear as he talks to his girlfriend.

She’s nice, Katsuki knows. A little uptight at first, but with a good head on her shoulders. Able to deal with the crazy Kaminari’s dishing out. Speaking of crazy. “I want to crawl into your skin and wear it,” Kaminari sings into the phone at this moment, grinning like a madman. 

Katsuki rips the beer from his hand. “Please don’t,” he grunts, listening to Mina and Kirishima laughing.

He’s the only single guy among his friends. 

It’s a thought that seldomly plagues him but when it does, it does.

His phone rings and he considers not picking up, seeing the unknown number. But he’s hung up a few flyers about looking for a roommate so he accepts the call anyway, getting up to talk in the tiny bathroom to get some privacy.

“Bakugo?” 

“Ah, yes, hi.” The voice is distinctively female, soft enough to send a shiver down his back. Or maybe he’s just lonely.

“Hi.” God, is he trying to sound nice?

“Hi.” There’s a rushed giggle, then a deep breath. “I saw your ad. For the apartment. I- I work for Manic!Design.”

His parent's firm. He’d asked his father to hang it up, to not make a big fuss about it. No one in the agency had looked twice at the little hangout after all.

“When are you free?” He asks, rubbing his pointer finger over a stain on the mirror. “To look at the apartment?”

“I’m free today. Next week is a little tight, but I can push some things around? Maybe on Tuesday?”

“We can do it today. My roommate moved out today so it’s a little messy still, but that way you can see it right away.”

“Oh, yes, okay.” He can hear the hesitation in your voice, can feel the unease in his own heart.

“Or Tuesday, if that works better for you.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll see you… does half an hour work for you?”

He calculates quickly. If he leaves right now, he will make it on time.

“Yeah, no problem.”

-

He regrets not showering. 

His shirt sticks to his body in awkward places and he can see the imprint of his right hand on his pants. His right hand. Katsuki lifts it, like he often does, to inspect it. Despite having lived with an intact limb far longer than he had to live with a messed up one, he still can’t help but marvel at it, and feel unease at the change. Does it sweat more now than it used to before the war? Why is that scar still there but the other one isn’t?

“Hey!” Your face pulls him out of his reverie and he lets his hand sink to muster you.

You look familiar in a way that has his heart speed up uncomfortably, his skin prickling. He really should have showered beforehand, pushed that meeting a little further back. 

“I like your shirt,” you point out, your own hands pushed into the pockets of your jacket. Oversized, black leather. He likes it immediately. It looks like one he owns too. 

“Thanks,” he rumbles, opening the door for you. “Come in.”

-

“Just so you know.” You lift your left leg to rub your feet over your right knuckle, a nervous habit if he’s ever seen one. “I work for your parents.”

“Figured.”

Your eyes flicker up to his and back down again. “I don’t… I don’t want them to think weird of me. I mean, they haven’t really noticed me, yet. But they will, for sure. I just-”

“Spit it out.”

You grin, a sharp, yet sweet thing that has him hold his breath.

“I don’t want them to know we live together.” You say it like it’s already a done deal. Like you’ve already moved in when he’s not yet decided if he wants you on the lease or not. He likes that. You’re decisive.

“They wouldn’t.”

“Oh?” You cock your head to the side and his tongue turns dry at the sight. “Don’t they visit?”

“Not really. I want- I want my privacy. I usually go over to their place if I want to see them.”

“Okay.” You nod. “I’d take it then. If you’re okay with it.”

He offers you his hand to shake, not quite thinking about what he’s doing until you shake it. His palm is slick with sweat and he cringes at the feeling but your face does not show what you think. His bones, mended back together yet not really, feel like pudding in your grip. 

What is going on?

- x -

You’ve perfected your morning routine.

You snooze your alarm once for a blissful ten minutes of more sleep before you roll out of bed, check the weather with a toothbrush in your mouth, and choose what to wear. That’s always the hardest and best part of each day.

A heavy knock on your door alerts you. “Bathroom’s free.” 

Yeah, that’s the first change in your morning routine.

Bakugo’s done most of the heavy lifting yesterday, making the heaviest of your boxes look like they weigh nothing. 

Toothbrush still in your mouth you grab your clothes for the day and rush through the hallway. It’s not that you don’t want him to see you right now, messy hair and crinkled pajamas, but you don’t really want him to see you right now.

Not when he’s probably looking like a young God, blond hair the perfect amount of messy, blood-red eyes never missing a thing. He’s way too good-looking to be your roommate, but you don’t doubt he’s looking for anything more. Not with you, at least. He’s a Hero, after all. Number 2 if you’re not mistaken. And your bosses son.

You wipe the mascara from under your eye and open the bathroom door. If you leave in five minutes you’ve got just enough time to catch the bus. That’s a record.

“Here,” a plate with Omurice appears under your nose. “Breakfast.”

“Oh,” you blink. “I don’t… I don’t eat breakfast.”

“Hah?” Bakugo looks like you’ve personally offended him. “Who doesn’t eat breakfast? It’s the most important meal of the day.”

“I don’t have time for that. I’m just getting a coffee to go for the bus ride.”

“I’ll take you then.”

“What? No. My bus is coming in five minutes.”

“Sit.” Bakugo pulls out a chair with his other hand. “Eat. I’ll take you. It’s on my way anyway.”

“What about your parents finding out I’m living with you?”

Something like a blush works its way up his neck. Or he’s getting angry. Who knows?

“I’ll let you out at the corner.”

“Still-”

“Eat.” He thunders and you take a seat, eyeing him. “What if I’m allergic to Omurice?”

“Who’s allergic to Omurice? It’s Omurice.”

“There’s egg in it.”

He groans. “What do you want to eat then?”

“Omurice is fine.” You pull the plate toward you, digging in. It tastes heavenly and you bite back a groan of delight. Who knew you were this hungry?

-

“Hey, I’m going to the store.” You push your head through the door, trying not to look too closely at where he’s currently doing push-ups. “Do you need anything?”

“What?!” Katsuki drops, rolls, and glares at you. “It’s ten pm.”

“Yeah, so? The store is still open.”

“You’re not going alone.”

“I’m grown up, I can walk by myself.”

“Not this late.”

“Okay, Dad.” You roll your eyes. “I’m fine. Do you want something from the store or not?”

“I’m coming along.”

A heartbeat long you’re left speechless, watching him as he gets up and slips a shirt on. But then, your fight awakens.

“Not if I’m already gone,” you rush out, slamming the door shut behind you.

You’re out of the apartment before him, heart hammering in your chest as you race down the stairs. You forgot your shoes in the apartment, but it’s a little too late now to turn back around, especially when you can hear the door closing, Bakugo calling your name through the staircase.

Is it childish to run away from him like that? Yeah. But it’s also incredibly fun.

He catches up to you halfway down the street, a murderous look on his face. 

“What the fuck?!” He yells, trying to grab your arm. The illusion vanishes in front of him and you cackle, just a few steps ahead, hiding behind a sign for Thai Massages.

He’s at your side in a heartbeat, but he does not grab you this time.

“I can look after myself,” you tell him, still trying to catch your breath. “I’m not your kid.”

“No,” he starts, teeth grit, but he doesn’t end the sentence. If there was ever a sentence to begin with.

“Now that you’re already out and about, you can tag along, I suppose,” you offer, leading the way. “But if you need to accompany me at all times things are going to get real awkward real son. I like to go dancing sometimes too, you know. Or Karaoke. Do you do Karaoke?”

“Yes,” he grumbles. “Who doesn’t?”

“What’s your go-to song?” 

He grumbles something. 

“Sorry, didn’t hear you there.”

“The Allmight theme song,” he repeats, a little louder this time.

“Catchy, Good choice.” You nod.

-

Snooze your alarm, brush your teeth, pick your outfit, race to the bathroom.

Today’s breakfast is Miso Soup, rice, and grilled fish, the table already set for two. You take a deep breath, steel yourself for the conversation ahead.

“You need to stop this.” You say, both feet planted on the ground. “You can’t cook for me every morning.”

“I cook anyway,” Katsuki’s not looking at you, glaring holes into the coffee maker instead. “It’s not much work.”

“Still. It disrupts my routine, I’m sure it disrupts yours as well-”

“It is my routine.” He disagrees and your mouth falls open.

“You always cook for your roommate?”

“Yeah!” You don’t imagine the blush that’s now rising up and up, lighting up his cheeks. “What about it?”

“Did she break up with you?”

“What the hell?!” He bursts out. “No one broke up with me! Kirishima moved in with his Soulmate.”

“Ah. So…”

“Nothing. Sit down and eat.” 

“Only if you promise to stop cooking for me. And following me around.”

“I needed to protect you.”

“You don’t need to do shit for me.”

His head swivels around at the swear word. “Surprised?” You grit out. “I’m a grown-ass woman, I can take care of myself. If I’d wanted a boyfriend, I would have gotten that.”

“I’m not your boyfriend.” He disagrees hotly.

“You act like it, though.”

Silence falls. “Fine,” he eventually huffs. “Sit down, we can talk about it.”

You send him one last glare before you slide onto the chair.

“You need to stop-”

“Breakfast or dinner.” Katsukis's voice is harsh, cutting through your sentence. “You can pick. Either or, I’m cooking for two.”

“I don’t know when I’m home.”

“Breakfast it is then.”

“No, wait-”

“Breakfast or Dinner. You decide.”

“What about neither?”

“Breakfast or Dinner.” He stabs his chopsticks into the grilled fish like it personally hurt him. “Make it quick.”

“Sheesh,” you grunt. “Fine. But if I pick breakfast you have to take me to work or I won’t make it in time.”

He nods. “I take you to work in the morning and don’t follow you in the evenings.”

“Wow. Such a huge sacrifice on your part.”

“Oh, because it’s so hard to play passenger princess?”

“Maybe it is!” You bite back. His brows furrow. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why is it hard to be a passenger princess?”

You snort. “It’s not that hard,” you admit. “I mean, sure, I can listen to my own music on the bus, but-”

“Send me your playlist then,” he orders. “And eat. We’re going to be late.”

“Sheesh, I’m eating, I’m eating.”

-

You’re home alone that evening. Katsuki didn’t leave a message when he’s going to be back, so you’re not sure what to do with yourself, sending out a tentative invite to some of your friends. Nothing much, just if they want to check out your new apartment…

A key turns in the door and you fumble your phone, trying to delete the text. You’re not ready for them to meet your new roommate just yet.

“Oh-” That’s not Katsuki in the door though. Broad shoulders, wide smile, bright red hair. “Are you the new roommate?”

“Ye-Yes, yes. I’m… are you?”

“Kirishima.” He offers his hand. “I think I left something behind. At least I can’t find it anywhere. Did you possibly see…” He blushes a pretty shade of pink. “Pink boxers? They’re my lucky ones.”

“I’ll go check if you-”

“No, no, I’ll do it myself. Bakugo is pretty intense about the laundry.”

“That too?” You ask. He halts in the doorway. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he… he insists on making breakfast.”

“Ah,” Kirishima smiles. “Yeah. He’s not… He’s not good with words. He likes to show he cares through actions, you know. If I can give you any advice, look at his actions and not at his words. That will always steer you right.”

“Th-Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

[james-spooky]

Eddie Diaz and the Phenomenon of Queer Representation

A post to organise my thoughts ahead of the rest of the season and to really get this off my chest! (Spoilers for 9-1-1) (It’s long and I will inevitably have more thoughts about things I failed to mention)

Within queer representation in media, there’s a certain expectation that audiences have been conditioned to accept, including the omission of any representation at all. This has led to many non-canon ships being popularised in fandoms in an attempt to obtain agency surrounding queer media. One of these such head canons is Eddie Diaz from 9-1-1 who is largely speculated to be gay. This is sort of an essay and sort of me rambling on.

Picking up in Season 8, Episode 1, Eddie’s been trying for three months so keep his shit together and try to stay in contact with his son in the wake of the whole emotionally-cheating-with-the-doppelgänger-of-your-deceased-wife situation. I think the birthday zoom was really the beginning of his breakdown. To keep all of this inside him it way too much for someone to handle. He is going to break at some point with the stress. Not only that but as others have pointed out, Helena and Ramon are not actively participating in the reconnection of their son and their grandchild. This ties into their long-term goal which has been present across multiple seasons to be Christopher’s sole caregivers, without any acknowledgment of Eddie. To me it looks like he’s been trying to put on a brave face for his kid and sort of suppress everything (as he always does) to try and be a better father. But you can’t be that person if you’re not taking care of yourself; not necessarily “putting yourself first”, not in a selfish way but genuinely having self-love and a certain assuredness, something which Eddie doesn’t appear to have pinned down. I can definitely see him being introspective this season and forced to deal with quite literally everything that’s ever happened to him and to actually process that and who he really is. Ergo, realising his sexuality.

Tim said that the episode six thing was one of his favourite moments in the show, is actively excited for us to see it, is the episode where the “reason for the moustache” is “explicitly stated”; genuinely what else could this be other than gay Eddie. I cannot think of a reason personally. Other than “religion” which I don’t is a path they’d go down; I cannot come up with another reason for why they’re being so vague about it.

This is exactly the same thought process I went through pre-s7. I wrote down all my thoughts and analysis on those articles and Buck’s arc, coming to the conclusion that there could be no other outcome other than Buck being bisexual. Before s7 there were lots of articles about Buck and they all had that same sort of strange wording surrounding his storylines that season. E.G: “a season of self-discovery for Buck”, describing him getting off that “hamster wheel” of failed relationships. Whether or not you believe that he has achieved that is beside the point; the point is that, the vague quality to them which alluded his storyline going in a particular direction is happening yet again. Ryan has the exact same thing happening now, if not more with the majority of the season’s promo being his moustache. This is pattern recognition if I’ve ever seen it. Truly, due to the sheer amount of promo and interviews there have been, in my mind I don’t see another reason for why this would be, other than Eddie having a large and pivotal storyline this season.

It’s not just “about buddie”. When people pin down a character’s sexuality to purely the ship they’re in, it annoys me because it’s genuinely about the storyline and Eddies character arc. Yes, these headcanons have stemmed from the ship and obviously if they were to go down this route, the ship would most likely be a by-product of this discovery, but it’s not the priority. It may be an end goal, but what about the journey? It’s more than ship wars or trying to one up each other. For me personally, it would be so beneficial to his character to go in this direction. Not even just for his character but for the show and representation in general. What other show on a major network would have a character who’s been on the show for multiple seasons, had relationships with women, a wife, a child, religious traumas, PTSD, grief, catholic guilt and then having a gay awakening in their eighth season? None. How many have had strong platonic male relationships? A lot. Honestly, I don’t interact with those people who whittle down Eddie having a queer realisation or the possibility of Buddie being canon as “erasing platonic male friendships”. I simply don’t buy into that and my reaction towards those people who use that argument is just “Point me towards a show where (the written above happens)” and you can’t. Because it hasn’t happened. Not only that but queer ships in mainstream shows are notorious for “queer-baiting” and not “going canon”. I could name numerous shows where this has happened all to the dismay of a large percentage of the audience. In my experience in fandoms with popular queer ships, (majority mainstream shows with non-explicitly queer characters) I cannot think of a single time where they have been confirmed in canon. To me, this would be a huge step in the right direction for queer media as a whole. Of course, we cannot deny the massive impact that Buck being canonically bisexual last season has had and I commend ABC, the writers and Tim for bringing that to our screens. It was so heartfelt and truly amazing to watch. However, in terms of fandom and popular ships, it’s a little different. I’m in no way disregarding bi Buck, but rather exploring the impact that having a popular queer ship becoming canon would have on other media and the audience in general.

As queer audiences, we are so often let down with the directions that tv shows and film take in regard to their queer-coded characters. It’s become normalised to expect disappointment over seeing a popular pairing actually become “canon” within the text itself.

I’m aware that queer-baiting is definitely different than simply having queer-coded characters, however the two often come hand in hand. There is a misconception, in my opinion that “going woke is going broke”. I think that yes, having queer elements or characters in media definitely effect the reception and reaction, especially online from the general audience. This has happened time and time again and because the negative reaction is so loud, it drowns out any of the positive ones, forcing media companies to pull back in fear of losing money or audience. They want to be seen as “impartial” as a large percentage of audiences are bigoted but by removing any conversation surrounding queer representation in media, it immediately becomes biased and panders towards the people who shout the loudest. Queer people know all too well that on social media, it can be hard to avoid the rampant bigoted views that are shared so violently towards marginalised communities. Companies are so fearful of the backlash towards queer characters, that they won’t even have them at all, regardless of whether it would be classified as “good” or “positive” representation.

In my experience with fandoms with popular queer ships, when the show is still airing there’s this sense of hope that we cling to that it might “turn out different this time” and the character or characters might actually end up canonically queer or together. And every time, it ends the same. And even if they are confirmed queer, the “bury your gays” trope swoops in before it can truly be explored. As a collective, we tend to self-deprecate in order to deal with it but it’s actually quite a damaging thing. It reinforces the idea that queer characters and storylines are not of merit or valued in mainstream media. This turns into a vicious cycle of queer-coded characters staying queer-coded and never becoming canon as that’s how far the media company producing the show is willing to go. They are not willing to take it a step further and explicitly show queer characters having agency and a place in media as this will result in backlash. Additionally, even when we are given queer characters, a lot of the time there is a lack of depth or exploration of their queerness, almost as if it doesn’t exist. For example, Loki’s genderfluidity and bisexuality is canon and confirmed but a large amount of people who were invested in this, were disappointed to see it not having any effect on his storylines at all due to Marvel as a distribution company whose audience, or rather, targeted audience is largely cisgender, straight men. Therefore, queer audiences typically already have an expectation going into a show with a queer ship; it will most likely never happen. I’ve seen first-hand people who actively don’t partake in these shows in order to avoid being disappointed and it hurts me to think that queer people have obtained this way of thinking in regard to media. That we know it’s not going to happen so we either avoid it or watch it with the miniscule hope that something will happen. And even if it does, the show will most likely get cancelled after the first season in the name of “watch hours”, (despite how dedicated or prevalent the fandom may be, dead boy detectives, IANOWT, first kill etc.) once again solidifying the belief that queer characters or stories are not worth the time, money or value that heterosexual ones are. This causes queer media to have a lack of funding and marketing, essentially dooming them to crash and burn. It’s like building a house made of paper and then blaming the weather on its destruction.

So no, I don’t believe that “going woke is going broke” as I have personally indulged in many shows and films due to the sheer prospect that there might be a queer character or couple. Too many times, I’ve binged several seasons of a show (in an alarmingly short amount of time I may add) purely because there is a popular ship/one of the characters might be queer – emphasis on might. It is due to the fear of these media companies that queer shows and film are immediately disadvantaged straight out the gate. However, I do see there has been a change. Obviously, there are many popular queer shows that have been given chances such as Heartstopper and Interview With The Vampire. To me, this clearly shows that queer storylines and characters, showing diversity and marginalised communities does bring audiences and value (as we ourselves know) and it’s purely the skewed bigotry which overtakes the reception and influences the production of media.

Additionally, when bi Buck went canon, the sheer disbelief of queer audiences that it happened at all, to me showed the standards that we’re used to. We’re so used to not having that, that when it does happen, we’re actively surprised by it. Obviously, 9-1-1 in particular has showcased many queer characters before and continues to do so, however this was different as Buck was a previously established character for six seasons and so to have a sexuality arc for someone later in life was definitely a huge moment for bisexual representation in television.

For Eddie, if Tim is doing this storyline, he is right in the approach he’s taken. I’ve talked before about how they weren’t sure whether it was going to be Buck or Eddie having this queer storyline in Season 7… To me that’s basically confirmation of queer Eddie, right? Well, not necessarily “confirmation” but the fact that he was even considered at all for this storyline solidifies his queer-coding to me and that we aren’t all “delusional” for recognising it. I’ve said before but it makes so much sense for Buck to essentially “go first” by having him realise he’s bi and come out in S7 because it was a very different way of doing it, as you would have with Eddie. Buck is very sure of himself as a person and for him it’s something that was always there, but he never realised it and he’s quick to accept it! There’s no tortured Buck struggling with his sexuality (unless of course you count the basketball scene) it’s relatively smooth in the sense that he’s not having a breakdown over it; it’s just his relationship that’s rocky and provides those hurdles. This was refreshing to see as it can often be an expectation that the queer character in the show is negatively affected by their queerness. However, with Eddie, it wouldn’t make sense for him to have that arc in season 7 itself. Partly because it had 10 episodes which would not do it enough justice, and because Eddie already had a lot to unpack. For instance, his whole season 7 storyline was surrounding his deceased wife which was just the start of his journey. Even many seasons later, he is still grappling with the effects of his grief on him and Christopher. Everything is much deeply rooted in him, as is everything in his backstory.

His whole begins episode and all of the backstory we see of him, is him trying to be someone he’s not/who he thinks he should be. He was trying to be a big brother turned parent for his sisters when his parents wouldn’t. He’s trying to be a good father at nineteen, he’s trying to conform to the hegemonic standard of masculinity by marrying Shannon (pressured by the church as she got pregnant young) he enlists because he’s trying to provide for his family even though he doesn’t realise that it’s actually hurting them instead, he’s trying to keep custody of Chris from his parents who only see Chris as a “do-over” for Eddie. Eddie trying his best and get a job to provide for his son. Him doing anything his can for Chris. Shannon coming back, dating her again for Chris - despite the fact that Shannon wanted a divorce (and then died). Eddie dating Chris’ teacher who he loves but Eddie doesn’t. Again, for Chris. He’s always doing things for other people. His parents, Chris, his partners, but never for himself. We’ve seen him spiral before into his fighting arc; that was something he did for himself in a sense, but it was only because he didn’t know how to properly regulate all the pain and grief he was feeling! He’s a single father trying so hard to be the very best he can for everyone around him, to live up to “what it means to be a man” pushing down any emotionally vulnerability until he inevitably snaps. The church, his catholic guilt! This affects him in numerous ways - religious wiring quite literally effects the ways you think about everything and internalise the things that happen to you. Kim was something he did for himself, but it still tied to everything else and his grief. Because of all this, no wonder you wouldn’t be able to fit his gay awakening into a 10-episode season… Eddie requires more time and thought behind what he’s going to have to face and process by himself. For the first time, he is truly alone with his thoughts and is faced with who he is. Outside of his parents, outside of Chris, Shannon, the army, the church, the 118, he is discovering who he truly is, not what anyone else or any institution expects him to be. And this is why, it’s gonna take a lot out of him and is a much different storyline to the one that Buck went through.

Everyone’s sexuality realisation/coming out is different and I really can’t imagine Eddie going through the arc that Buck went through so I think it was a good decision to go with Buck for Season 7. Eddie has so much more to deconstruct and process in order to accept or even just realise his attraction to men, however that plays into his relationship with Buck. And even more so, his lack of attraction to women.

Honourable mention of “I’m broken. I’m broken and I can’t fix it,” being said in his conversation with Kim which is a heavily queer coded statement, as this is a concept that is frequent in the queer community of thinking you’re broken due to your identity. I’d genuinely be surprised if this is not the direction they’re going as there’s so many moments like this with Eddie across the seasons (cough dating feeling like a performance cough) especially this one, which just stand out and heavily resonate with queer audiences. I’d say if they don’t, it’s a huge missed opportunity and character assassination to be honest. I care so deeply about Eddie and he’s such a complex character, it annoyingly makes me mad when people undermine him or pin him down to one thing as if multiple things can’t be true at the same time. I know he’s a fictional character and in reality, it’s not that deep but when people undermine his queer-coding or deny it, it feels like denying a whole group of people’s experiences akin to his.

So, the “emotional reason” behind the moustache in my mind, would definitely link to the idea that Eddie has clung possibly extra hard to his perceived idea of what masculinity is to him/what it’s expected to be. Yes, the style of moustache is engrained in queer culture, but I think that it’s more so an accessory which he’s using to overcompensate for his queerness, (consciously or not). I’m relating this to one of my favourite queer films, Maurice, as in that movie facial hair, specifically moustaches play a significant role in displaying the characters attitudes towards their queerness without explicitly saying them. Maurice and Clive both go through phases of having a moustache, with Maurice first when he is in a period of reluctance towards his sexuality. He’s the more accepting of the two, so it doesn’t last long. However, as Maurice moves out of this phase and begs Clive to stay with him and be together, Clive transitions into that position and denies Maurice’s claims that they could be happy somewhere together. He clings to the traditional ideals of marriage and heterosexuality, as is the norm in 1910’s England, trying to bring an end to the whole affair. Later, when Clive announces he’s engaged to be wed to a woman, he has a moustache and continues to have this moustache for the rest of the film, showing how he’s never going to accept himself for who he is, and is using this to conceal his emotions. The moustache here, represents hiding your true self and repressing your desires, acting as a “mask”. This to me, is very reminiscent of how Eddie appears with his moustache, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they ended up with the same metaphorical reasoning.

In the first episode (the only episode that’s currently out), we saw that Gerrard approves of his moustache, himself being the typical masculine archetype that Eddie may believe himself to be or believes that he should be. Not that Eddie wants to be like Gerrard; of course not, he’s a bigot. It’s that portrayal of masculinity which ties into how he was brought up, and the ideals of the catholic church surrounding gender roles and sexuality. I thought this direct comparison was interesting between them as Eddie is definitely doing this for approval if not from others, but from himself that “this is who he is” when in reality it’s not. In my interpretation, the fact that they’ve specifically mentioned episode six as when he shaves off the moustache and has this physical manifestation of his inner demons, screams to me a queer arc for Eddie. I think there is so much potential for his character and storyline, not just for the ship he’s involved in but for himself and everyone who sees themselves in Eddie.

In conclusion, I really hope they go down this route and if they don’t, once again, it will be a huge, missed opportunity and I wouldn’t be certain where they’d go with his character if not there. This was just a chance for me to get my thoughts out, ahead of the upcoming episodes and I really hope we get to see a positive outcome for his character, whatever route they take.

[serial-unaliver]

I understand blaming boymoms for how their sons act entitled and rude towards women because yeah that is the truth. Parents influence their kids behavior, especially at a young age, and women end up being misogynistic for social acceptance. However, I think what gets lost is that if the mother is a misogynist the father likely is too. I think that's what people mean when they say that it's "blaming women" and get defensive about it, yeah women can enforce misogyny but we live in a patriarchal society that demonizes feminism(real feminism, not faux nothing feminism) and women recieve praise and validation for misogyny and "holding other women accountable" like the whole thing about toxic/traditional Masculinity(tbh), and father's enforcing strict adherence to gender roles on their sons and mothers enforcing strict gender roles on their daughters, it's not odd to assume a man whose heavily invested in gender roles would pass misogyny and entitlement onto his son. So people blaming boymoms, and not boydads(redpill freaks, manosphere, Dads being dissapointed in girl children) when their ideologies are want demand misogyny in the first place is weird. Although I mostly assume most people who don't like boymoms(like me) also hate girldads, so this line of thinking doesn't apply to me. But I like to speculate about other people.

DISCLAIMER, my reply here isn't about All Parents but rather observations about parents who have more 'traditional values' about gender, which is unfortunately still a lot of them.

SO imo misogyny in parenting manifests differently in mothers and fathers based on their own gender roles. a mother with internalized misogyny is going to position herself as subservient to the son and father, sometimes to the point of enduring domestic violence. on the other hand the misogynistic father asserts authority over the son and pushes 'masculine' gender roles on him, almost viewing the son as an extension of himself (which is why these fathers tend to be upset at having a daughter--they feel they can't have a miniature version of themselves). and speaking of disappointment at having a daughter, oddly, there's often a 'switch' once the daughter begins to grow up--the mother views her daughter as competition because she, with internalized misogyny, hates to see her own daughter get attention from men, including her own husband. she's basing her entire existence (and thus her daughter's) around men. so while "gender disappointment" over a girl is indeed an expression of misogyny, a lot of parents have very different feelings towards their child before it's actually born, or at least before it starts acting more like an individual. the father overjoyed to have a son may also be the father who abuses his son for not conforming to gender roles or not being a copy of himself. this is because he views girls and boys as so fundamentally different that he was actually UPSET over having one over the other. gender reveals are more like terrible parent reveals, lol. overall these are parents reacting to their ideal version of their child in their heads and not necessarily the reality that they can't predict. both mothers and fathers can enforce misogyny on their kids but they are not doing it in the same ways. their overall belief system is the same, but the way they see themselves in comparison to the son/daughter is what differentiates them.

it's also important to note that criticism of 'boymoms' from men and women is often different as well. a lot of women with a negative view of boymoms are associating boymoms with an abusive ex boyfriend, brother, or father, or their own abusive mother. meanwhile if you have like, an incel criticizing mothers, it will be about the mother not being misogynistic ENOUGH, or generally just having higher standards for mothers over fathers. of course this isn't the case Every Single Time but just a pattern I notice--and I mean, it HAS to be a pattern for a patriarchal system to continue being enforced at large.

also just want to clarify when I talk about boymoms i'm not referring to every mother with a boy but the ones who make it their whole personality and have significant internalized misogyny. i've never really seen the need for parents to gender their relationship with a child like this in general so I tend to not associate the terms (boymom, girldad) with positive things.

[bitchbot3000]

Devil’s Minion: 70s vs Now, What if We Get Both?

Book & show spoilers below, reader beware! ⚠���✌️

I've been seeing a lot of posts of people making their respective cases for why they believe we're getting either 70s Devil's Minion or Modern Devil's Minion in S3, but personally, I'm not entirely convinced it's going to be one or the other. Hear me out.

While this is obviously not to be taken as canon, Jacob Anderson mentioned in an interview that he believes while living in America, Armand and Louis spend long periods of time apart. What if what we're getting is essentially the Devil's Minion chapter split across several decades, with a gap in the middle and a role reversal when things pick back up?

It feels entirely possible that, during an extended period of time spent apart, Armand would go after the fascinating boy who just came very close to blowing up his relationship without even meaning to. I don't imagine the chase would happen on the same scale as it did in the books, but him essentially stalking Daniel, demanding answers from him to all sorts of technical and philosophical questions, getting Daniel to teach him about the 'modern' era? That feels entirely plausible and like a pretty natural escalation of the encounter we already saw, with Armand demanding again and again to know what makes Daniel 'fascinating'.

Will it go as far as the Night Island and declarations of love? More doubtful, but maybe the first seeds of it? Enough for Daniel to ask to be turned, and Armand to care enough to refuse him, perhaps!

Assuming it ends when Louis returns, I think having that part of their past a shared (if unknowing, on Daniel's part) secret from Louis is also a compelling idea, and it explains a bit more of why Armand and Daniel's interactions have felt a bit loaded and at times, even indulgent, from the start. More so than I personally think what we saw in San Francisco would explain.

Moving on to the modern era, what we have now are all the trappings for things to pick back up, full-steam ahead, even messier than before. Daniel has just blown up Armand's life (a pattern that tends to dictate who Armand will gravitate toward next), very intentionally, this time, he's also the only one who sees straight through Armand's bullshit, and the only one whose mind Armand can't read. On top of that, he has a degenerative health condition and he's lived a full human life, which likely would remove some of Armand's previous reluctance to turn him. Especially when paired with the spite we're given as his reason for turning Daniel.

So, Armand turns Daniel, runs for whatever reason (panic, conflict over committed an act he was so revolted by, a search for safety, whatever conniving idea he's got coming up next, the list of potential reasons goes on), and the chase begins anew, with Daniel doing the hunting. This is where I think the bond between them would come into full bloom, and the Night Island, if it's going to be included at all, would come into play.

On top of all the reasoning above, it just seems practical! It gives Armand and Daniel, both of whom are definitely loved by the audience, their own storyline to be followed while the season is focused on Lestat, and it gives them a chance to keep utilizing Luke Brandon Field, because they kind of struck gold in finding an actor who fits SO well as Eric Bogosian's younger counterpart.

Obviously, this is all just speculation, and even within it, I've still got a lot of questions. Would Daniel remember their time together once he was turned (or perhaps even before, while he and Armand were left alone together)? Would Armand have cared enough to give young Daniel a vial of his blood to ward off other vampires (and if so, where is it now)? Will the mess Lestat is about to make be what drives them together, could it make Armand worry for Daniel, with all the older, stronger vampires converging?

Who knows? Not me! But it's fun to think about.

[hellomystraightlacedfriend]

The Osborns' 'Weird' Relationship: An Analysis

◇ Spectacular Spider-Man #146 - Gerry Conway/Sal Buscema ◇

Okay, so I know it was awhile ago that I said I might write an analysis of some of the emotional dysfunctional aspects of 616 Norman and Harry Osborn’s relationship, but I really struggled with the format and how I was going to present this.

One thing that I ended up having to do was throw out any speculation on the writers' intent. With comics, you have so many different writers - especially with a long ongoing, popular series like Spider-Man - that I decided to focus a lot more on the patterns I was picking up when I was reading.

But before I go any further:

CW: discussions of child abuse, mental illness, and suicidal ideation

Disclaimer: In this analysis, I am trying to provide an explanation for why Norman might behave the way he does. However, this explanation of Norman’s abuse is not meant to be a justification of his behaviour.

Also, before we start, you are absolutely allowed to disagree with this analysis! Every reader sees/interprets things a little differently, but I've seen other people pick up on the Osborns' relationship being well, strange, so I decided to examine that a little closer.

There were certain things I kept noticing in Norman and Harry's relationship that I found abnormal (you know, apart from Norman's extensive verbal abuse). Things like: Harry's really intense and misplaced loyalty to his father (that interfers with his other relationships.) The way in which Harry feels responsible for his father. The way Harry doesn’t have a strong identity outside of his father, and how his father doesn't allow (or think Harry needs) any emotional privacy. Also, just some of the ways Norman talks to his son don’t make it feel like a normal parent-child relationship.

In particular in this analysis, I did want to talk about emotional incest and enmeshment, which I am going to define now.

The psychological definition of emotional (or covert) incest is when a parent relies on their child for emotional support that they should be getting from another adult. They treat their child like a friend or partner, instead of well, a child.

And

An enmeshed family is one where there is a lack of boundaries, and often, the child isn't allowed to have an individual identity.

I think we see a lot of the after affects of this kind of emotional abuse in Harry as an adult, and while we don't see a whole lot of Harry and Norman's relationship dynamic when Harry is growing up, I do want to start from there, using what flash backs and other information we have.

Actually to give some background on why this kind of abuse occurred, I will go back a bit further than that and talk briefly about Norman’s childhood and his relationship with Harry’s mother.

Norman definitely didn't have a great childhood. His father was a bitter and abusive alcoholic who blamed all of his problems on other people, including his son. And while Norman's mother wasn't abusive towards him, she did fail to protect him. This betrayal from an early age from both his parents would have been a huge contributer to Norman's extensive trust issues (and his drive to be in control so he's not hurt again.)

Norman didn't get the emotional support and attention he needed while growing up, so that's really what he was seeking as a young adult, and he found it in Emily Lyman aka Harry's mother.

Now while I don’t think that Norman and Emily's relationship was perfect like he presents it to be, I do think from his point-of-view this was a great time in his life. He was finally out from under his father's thumb. This beautiful woman believed in him. They had their whole lives ahead of them. The possibilities were endless, and then - she died.

Or faked her death and left him because he was so controlling.

Either way, she was gone, and he still a young man was left to go on as a single father.

Interestingly, Norman both blames Harry for Emily's death and compares him to her. Much later in his life, when talking to Harry's grave, Norman says that he tried to be fair to Harry 'even though you were so much like your mother in so many ways.' In this scene, Norman is angry at Harry for dying and thus 'abandoning' him to be alone. And I think that's what Norman felt when Emily died too, this deep sense of abandonment.

◇ Spider-Man: Revenge of the Green Goblin #1 - Roger Stern/Ron Frenz | Peter Parker: Spider-Man #44 - Paul Jenkins/Humberto Ramos ◇

(Later, it's revealed that Harry is not dead. Or maybe he is. I am NOT getting into the whole post-OMD-Harry-is-a-clone mess. For the sake of this analysis, they are the same person. They would have the same memories anyway.)

Now I am going to be piecing some things together and doing a bit of speculating. One thing that always stuck with me is that Harry keeps saying that his and Norman's relationship used to be different, that they used to be 'pals,' and then something changed. While I know a lot of people dismiss this, become Harry is delusional about his father at other points, I do think when Norman became the Green Goblin, there was a shift in their relationship dynamic, and Norman stopped opening up as much to his son.

I still absolutely think Norman was a neglectful and preoccupied father, but I also think that Norman was an emotionally needy person, and once Emily died, Norman (who was most likely extremely depressed and lacking a support system) tried to have Harry meet some of those needs. I say tried to, because Harry was just a little kid, a baby, and he wouldn’t be capable of doing that.

I think a lot about a panel from Spectacular Spider-Man #178 where Harry is talking to his own son Normie Osborn. Normie is a very young child/toddler. While Harry is talking to Normie, and Normie is watching TV, Harry starts hallucinating that his father is in the room. (Both Harry and his father have had psychotic episodes.)

Norman tells Harry that Normie should be listening to Harry, and when Harry says that Normie is just 'a little guy' and 'doesn't really understand all this,' the Norman Sr. hallucination becomes angry and says that Harry was just the same. That Harry was lost in his own head when he was young, and couldn’t hear when Norman talked to him.

◇ Spectacular Spider-Man #178 - J.M. DeMatteis/Sal Buscema ◇

It's interesting the way Norman and Harry differ here. Harry wants his son Normie to be able to enjoy these early years and have this chance to be carefree. Whereas Norman doesn't seem to really understand the concept of childhood and childhood innocence.

I also find it interesting (because I'm obsessed with word choice) that both Norman and Harry use 'pals' to describe their relationship.

◇ Amazing Spider-Man #39 & #40 - Stan Lee/John Romita Sr. ◇

And just in general, Norman and Harry's relationship doesn't seem to fall into the typical parent-child relationship - where the parent takes care of the child and meets the child's emotional needs. Instead, it's more complicated and codependent.

Norman and Harry both view Norman as Harry’s provider and protector. Norman is abusive towards Harry, but he does show deep concern about Harry's safety and worries about what would happen if he (Norman) suddenly died - because he's afraid Harry wouldn't be able to fend for himself.

On the other hand, Norman really doesn't give Harry any tools to become independent or encourage a separate identity, and I think part of that is because subconsciously - as much as he keeps saying he wants Harry to be strong - Norman actually wants Harry to be dependent on him.

Like on one level Norman does want Harry to be strong and be able to think for himself, so that he can take over the company and continue the Osborn legacy (and he is angry at Harry and verbally punishes him for not living up to this). But on a more personal - and like I said before subconscious - level, I do think that Norman wants Harry to have to rely on him. Because Norman doesn't want Harry to be able to leave him. Because he doesn't want to be alone.

And that's the thing, I do think that Norman is also dependent on Harry.

Harry is the nurturer to his father's protector and provider. He cares for and worries about his father a lot, and as much as Norman does not like to be seen as weak, there are quite a few moments where we do see Norman be vulnerable around his son.

Why this happened is probably largely circumstantial. Norman is a very paranoid man, who constantly fears betrayal from those around him. Even with the other adults in Norman's life who he is 'close' to - like J Jonah Jameson and George Stacy, he is not open. He does not trust them. He thinks that people are conspiring against him. However, he doesn't see his young son as a threat, as someone who could turn against him and hurt him. And he pulls Harry into this emotional isolation with him by telling his son not to trust anyone but his family (anyone but Norman.)

◇Amazing Spider-Man #62 - Stan Lee/John Romita Sr. || Amazing Spider-Man #47 - Stan Lee/John Romita Sr. || Amazing Spider-Man #67 - Stan Lee/John Romita Sr. || Spectacular Spider-Man #200 - J.M. DeMatteis/Sal Buscema◇

That puts Harry in a very difficult position, because he has deal with these adult concerns at such a young age, and he also can't fully open up to anyone else. This strain, along with Norman's exacting standards and scathing criticism, puts a lot of pressure of Harry.

However, Harry is used to being his father's confidant, and he becomes extremely anxious if his father shuts him out - or worse if he doesn't know where his father is. In a way, as much as Harry says that his father is strong and great, I think (at some level) Harry must also see his father as (emotionally) fragile.

This is especially noticeable in Amazing Spider-Man #121, where Harry is supposed to be resting because he has just overdosed, but he can't because he's so worried about how his father will react to possible financial ruin. He goes to him, tells his father that he doesn't need to worry about him, that he can take care of himself, that he's just worried about his father. He then proceeds to collapse in Norman's arms because he is not well.

◇ Amazing Spider-Man #40 - Stan Lee/John Romita || Amazing Spider-Man #61 - Stan Lee/John Romita Sr., Don Heck || Amazing Spider-Man #63 - Stan Lee/Don Heck, John Romita || Amazing Spider-Man #121 - Gerry Conway/Gil Kane ◇

This collapse leads Norman to want to rid Peter Parker/Spider-Man from his life (by killing Peter), because he falsely blames Peter for Harry's drug overdose and also the collapse of Osborn Indistries.

Now Peter’s involvement in the Osborns' personal lives is interesting. Peter is the first person that Harry really opens up to outside of his father - when Harry breaks down and complains that his father had been very distant in the last few years. When Peter responds with the emotional support Harry had never gotten from Norman, Harry draws Peter further into his life by asking him to be his roommate. Harry’s demeanour toward Peter also becomes similar to his attitude towards his father, submissive and eager to please. (He even calls Peter 'sir' at one point when he's trying to get his attention - an address he uses towards his father.)

Peter, however, is so caught up in being Spider-Man that, like Norman, Peter often neglects his relationship with Harry. This leads Harry to be rather passive-aggressive. At one point, Harry offers to make Peter breakfast, but when he hears Peter locking his stuff up, he becomes insulted that Peter would think he would steal from him and storms off to see Norman instead.

This becomes an ongoing element, Harry being torn between Norman and Peter, and seeking love/support from both of them, but seemingly unable to get it.

Now I want to make it quite clear that Norman and Peter are not equally responsible here. Peter is Harry’s age and has troubles of his own. Norman should be acting as Harry’s father, but he really isn't, not emotionally anyway. He is meeting his son's material needs (to an excess), but he is emotionally neglecting his son while also emotionally burdening him with his own troubles. Plus Norman is constantly verbally berating Harry for failing to live up to his impossible expectations - leaving Harry feeling worthless and extremely depressed.

Harry takes drugs to cope with these negative feelings - first abusing prescription medication and then moving on to street drugs. There is even already a note of passive suicidal ideation here, as when Peter asks him how many pills he's taking, Harry's response is 'What’s the difference? Who counts?' (Amazing Spider-Man #97 - Stan Lee/Gil Kane.)

Now I refuse to believe that Harry doesn't understand that there's a possibility of overdose here: he's a chemistry (and business) major with a father who sells drugs for a living. He knows that it is a possibility. So, while he's not actively seeking to end his life, he also doesn't really seem to care if he lives or dies - as long as he can escape from his pain.

Harry does eventually overdose - and it's an overdose that leads Norman to go after Peter & also Peter’s girlfriend (and Harry's friend) Gwen. Norman blames all of Harry’s friends for his condition, but especially Peter. And Norman blames himself for failing to protect his son from them. He threatens to kill Gwen if Peter doesn't end his own life, and when Peter doesn't comply, Norman goes ahead with his threat - throwing Gwen Stacy off the George Washington Bridge. (Amazing Spider-Man #121 - Gerry Conway/Gil Kane.)

Peter (as Spider-Man) goes after Norman in revenge, and Norman ends up dying (albeit by his own glider and not Peter’s hand.) Harry eventually figures out that Peter is Spider-Man, and this leads him to think that his and Peter’s friendship wasn't real, that it was entirely a ruse on Peter’s part. That Peter was just getting close to Harry to close in on his father.

Harry ends up forgetting about Peter Parker’s secret identity after his first attack on Peter though, and so for years the threat of Harry's revenge remains dormant. However, even from 'beyond the grave' (Norman, um, kind of faked his death, but Harry didn’t know that) Norman still had a hold on Harry’s psyche.

One early warning sign of the return of Green Goblin might have been that Harry names his child both after his father and himself (Norman Harold Osborn), keeping their names (and identies) close together. Harry also tells young Normie how special a man his grandfather Norman Osborn was. Then Harry begins to hear his father's voice telling him to revenge his death, to kill Spider-Man/Peter Parker.

Harry goes back and forth on how he sees his father. At times, he is able to see his father as who he really was/is, a dangerous criminal who ruined his own life. However, at other points, he calls Norman 'wonderful' and 'the greatest man this world has ever known.' He claims that his father's spirit is in him fuelling all his efforts, and blames Peter for both Norman's and Gwen's deaths.

Of course, it would be hard for anyone to admit that their father killed one of their closest friends, however, I think with Harry it goes even beyond that. Because Harry doesn't have a solid identity outside of his father, he is unable to fully see himself and his father as two separate people. So, in his head, Harry can't admit that his father killed Gwen, because then he would also have to think that he killed Gwen - something I don't think that Harry can wrap his head around doing. It's easier then to blame someone else - Peter/Spider-Man.

When Harry does finally admit that Norman killed Gwen, he still absolutely thinks (pretty understandibly) that it was Peter who ended Norman's life. Because of this, Harry decides that both he and Peter would be better off dead - and that their deaths would protect their loved ones from further harm.

It is only an outpouring of unconditional love from Peter (something Harry had never really felt before) that sways Harry from ending Peter’s life. He carries Peter out of the building where he had set up a timed bomb, but then seemingly dies himself (from side effects of the serum he'd taken to make himself stronger.)

🪻🌷🪻🌷🪻🌷🪻🌷🪻🌷🪻🌷🪻🌷🪻🌷🪻

Break!

🪻🌷🪻🌷🪻🌷🪻🌷🪻🌷🪻🌷🪻🌷🪻🌷🪻

Okay, this is here because this is getting long, but I don’t want to make it a two-parter, but also sometimes people need to take a break and breathe, you know?

I will also be concentrating more on post One More Day Harry in this section, though referring back to earlier comics as well. I will also be talking more about sex and romantic relationships, and how Harry's focus on his father (and Norman seeing himself as the most important person in Harry’s life) complicates things.

The Dan Slott and Joe Kelly runs leading up to and during Dark Reign were the first Spider-Man comics I read, and these were the issues where I first got to see the Osborns' relationship on page. What really struck me then about the relationship was how Norman talks to Harry more like a separated spouse than his grown child: 'I need you,' 'the world could be ours,' 'come home,' 'your place is here, by my side.'

During this period, Harry is pulling away from his father and trying to be independent, and Norman does not like this at all. He mocks Harry’s business ventures, then bombs Harry’s place of business - almost killing Harry’s then girlfriend Lily Hollister in the process. When Harry goes to confront him, Norman says that girlfriends are replaceable and tries to win Harry back. This, however, does not work, and shortly following this, Harry goes no contact.

Norman will not accept this boundary, however, or any boundary really. He admitted earlier to recording and listening to all of Harry’s therapy sessions, and when Harry won't answer his calls or letters, Norman has people spy on his son and report to him on everything Harry is doing. He then gets himself invited to a wedding that Harry is attending.

This is when he tells Harry that he needs him, something that does visibly affect Harry. Peter steps in between Harry and Norman, and tells Norman 'and that's what therapy's for.'

This scene is interesting because Norman does not like admitting that he needs other people, but also because Peter doesn't consider this (entirely) as a ploy on Norman’s part. He does think that Norman is being honest about 'needing' Harry. He just thinks that the way Norman seeks support from his son is unhealthy.

There is also an 'us'-ness in the Norman-Harry relationship, that is more typical of couples. This along with how Harry is thrust into this nurturing role with Norman, makes him (at times) seem more like his father’s spouse than his son.

And when Harry and Norman do end up cutting ties, Harry even says: 'I was never your son.'

◇ Amazing Spider-Man #573 - Dan Slott /John Romita Jr. || Amazing Spider-Man #595 - Joe Kelly/Phil Jimenez || Amazing Spider-Man #598 || Writer: Joe Kelly/Artists: Paulo Siqueira & Marco Checchetto || Amazing Spider-Man #599 - Joe Kelly/Stephen Segovia, Marco Checchetto, Paulo Siqueira ◇

This relationship with his father - before the eventual break up - does also lead to problems in Harry’s romantic relationships.

Because Norman basically sees himself as the centre of the universe and because he is very possessive of the people around him, Harry grew up internalising this idea that he belongs to his father and that he should prioritise Norman above everything else.

And because of this, Harry does tend to elevate and choose his father over his other relationships. Like how when he was seeing Mary Jane Watson, that relationship ended because Harry wouldn’t unlock the door for her - choosing to be alone with his dead father's costume over being with her. His marriage with Liz also deteriorates as Harry obsesses over avenging his father's death and continuing the Osborn legacy.

Of note, in these moments Harry isn't exactly thinking clearly - there are definitely signs of psychic breaks, with Harry having delusions and hallucinations. Still, a huge part of Harry's psyche is consumed by his father - to the detriment of other aspects of his life.

Even after Harry sees Norman as a bad person (acknowledging that his father was Gwen's killer and knowing for sure that Norman has committed countless other heinous crime), Norman still has a hold over his son. Harry still holds out hope for winning his father's love and approval - and completely dismisses his then girlfriend Lily Hollister's encouragement and support. Instead focusing entirely on his father's criticisms.

◇Amazing Spider-Man #595 - Joe Kelly/Phil Jimenez || Amazing Spider-Man Family #4 - J.M. DeMatteis/Val Semeiks || Amazing Spider-Man #390 - J.M. DeMatteis/Mark Bagley◇

◇Amazing Spider-Man #126 - Gerry Conway/Ross Andru || Spectacular Spider-Man #189 - J.M. DeMatteis/Sal Buscema || Amazing Spider-Man #569 - Dan Slott /John Romita Jr.◇

Another thing involving Lily Hollister - a rather controversial decision - was to have her be in sexual relationships with both Harry and Norman Osborn (with the timing being so close together that the paternity of her child was called into question.)

I actually don't think it's so surprising that Norman would go after someone his son was seeing. He is very self-centred and delusion enough to think that he could somehow get away with it.

Also, back in Amazing Spider-Man #96, there was this whole thing about Harry bringing along Norman to watch the girl he was then seeing - Mary Jane Watson - dance. It kind of comes across like Harry is trying to impress his father with how hot his 'girlfriend' is, and Norman is quite publicly enchanted by her.

There is something similar in the Raimi adaption where Harry Osborn wants Mary Jane Watson to dress in black (like Harry’s mother/Norman’s wife used to do) because he wants Norman to be impressed by her/find her attractive. Which people have pointed out is kind of weird/creepy.

Also kind of weird is just how much empathy Harry has towards Lily Hollister after she ditches him for his dad. Like yes, I think it's a coercive relationship, and Norman is much more to blame, but I still think most people would be a little more angry in this situation. And what Harry does say to Lily at the start of her and Norman's relationship is very interesting to me:

'He's an amazing man, Lily...I know, and he takes very special care of his "nice things"...until he doesn't.

I hope you see him for what he is before that happens...

Because when Norman Osborn is through with you, no one gets to have you.'

One) because it's really quite strange to call the father you suspect is sleeping with your ex-girlfriend 'an amazing man'

Two) because the way Harry is saying this makes it seems like it applies to both her and him. The 'I know' in particular stands out, because what he seems to be saying is 'I know exactly what you are feeling/going through right now.'

Which given that she is in 'romantic' relationship with his father certainly raises questions.

◇Amazing Spider-Man: Extra! #3 - Joe Kelly/Dale Eaglesham || Amazing Spider-Man #96 - Stan Lee/Gil Kane◇

In any case, I could probably write more, but this post is already more than long enough. I just find the dynamic between Norman & Harry Osborn fascinating because I don’t think it's one we see as often in fiction, and I love reading about dysfunctional families/relationships.

I also find post-OMD Harry really interesting, because I think it's even rarer to see a person, who was in a relationship like this, have to move on, fully cut ties, and figure out how to build a life for themselves without this person (who they had such codendency with.)

[kafkaoftherubble]

时鞭自我弊不轻，永宽他人宜为重

//The Intrigue Of Tokinaga Sachiyuki

In the first essay, I speculated about Ahu’az, Furuya Rin (a.k.a. Yako), and Chapter 58.

This one, meanwhile, is a character analysis of Tokinaga. It is the second of my After God essay series. Beware; it's a long read.

You don’t always get one of your favorite characters gone through my Lyndisian treatment, @orange-peel-candy, so I hope this has been a good way for you to pass the time.

Oh, you’re curious about what the Chinese title says?

“Always punishing himself for his profound sins; always forgiving others and prioritizing their virtues.”

It’s my crappy attempt at making a 对联, “duilian poetry.”

There are rules in making one. The same number of characters are used in both lines to form a couplet. There have to be counterpoints in tonal pattern between two lines, such that if they “counter” each other. Words from both lines have to be within the same category, and the meaning of the first line must correspond to the second line's meaning.

I did break one rule though: the first line’s last character has to be of an “oblique” tone while the second line’s last character has to be of a “leveled” tone. In my duilian title, the opposite is true.

There’s also just how lacking in beauty my poetry is. Not much can be done about my genuine absence of literary competency, I’m afraid!

Yes. You might also have noticed it. The first character of both lines makes up the word “时永/ 時永,” which is... “Tokinaga.”

---------------------------------------

Super Good Guy; Very Moral

The first time I read this manga, the one thing that stood out a lot to me, especially against the backdrop of After God’s society and every other character in this series—is how unambiguously moral Tokinaga is.

This is how Nayuu described the Bio-Tech department:

Chapter 4

Not even a minute passed and we got this scene:

Chapter 4

Tokinaga stood out a lot because he was the only one who opposed the unethical treatment of  “a child,” even though such a thing was standard of his colleagues. These people were known for being unscrupulous, yet Tokinaga was calling people out like he was a YouTuber dropping some bombs about his fellow creators.

There are many, many moments like these. In a world full of characters with grey morality, he stood out like a sore thumb just on the virtue of his unyielding, monkish self-discipline.

Chapter 4. Dude was seriously against this when no one else commented on it.

Chapter 9

One might, because of this, pass him over as uninteresting (at least, before the reveal of who he is). He’s straight-laced! He’s nice! He’s the good guy. He will do what’s ethically right; there’s no ambivalence. And yet, I’ve always found his strange fixation with ethics fascinating.

Yes, there’s a personal angle to this—a very close acquaintance (to my chagrin) is incredibly interested in ethics and often ponders about them, even if that situation or thought experiment is pragmatically insignificant. Another dear friend of mine also adheres to ethical principles with the same level of monkish discipline. In both cases, there are deeper reasons for their fixations.

Even before the reveal of Tokinaga’s other identity, this quality of him was already grounds for curiosity. With the benefit of hindsight, I’ll even argue that the mangaka has been teasing us about the full scope of his character with little psychological breadcrumbs.

There is a startling lack of flexibility in Tokinaga’s frame of ethics.

Tokinaga seemed dangerously close to holding a black-and-white morality. But there’s more to it.  

He’s perfectly capable of allocating leeway to most people whose ethics and morals are less than exemplary. After all, the department he cooperates with—due to Waka—is deadass staffed with moral-is-optional weirdos. Their amorality doesn’t make him see them as less, though. He values every single one of them—their safety sent him into a self-sacrificial panic, while their lost lives crushed him straight into depression.

It seems to me that, in Tokinaga’s mind, the only person who should adhere to this black-and-white morality is himself. He needs to be. He has to be.

-----

“Apologize! Apologize! Apologize!”

Chapter 33 is one of my favorite chapters in the manga so far. It’s raw as fuck and a great character study—and it features a very intriguing facet of Tokinaga’s psychology.

Now, dude had just experienced a heart-wrenching betrayal from a dear friend. Losing control of his emotions was only expected of anyone. But he had a very peculiar fixation. Despite the weight of Orokapi’s crimes (including the many people he had murdered as the Snake God), Tokinaga was hyper-focus on only two things: the injustice Orokapi had done to him—and the act of apology.

Previously, he spelled out why he didn’t believe Orokapi could apologize: “You can’t apologize, feel remorse, have a change of heart, or comprehend sadness.” And yet, subsequently, “apologize to me” was what he fixated on. He discarded the commands from his superior and colleague and went berserk in his personal demand for that apology:

Why is an apology somehow enough to forgive the things Orokapi has done? Lives were lost. Damages were done. Orokapi, as Tokinaga’s mentor had said, doesn’t live by human ethics and acts like an animal. And even Tokinaga himself had called Orokapi’s capacity for remorse into question.

So why the fixation with apology? Because, I’d argue, to Tokinaga, it’s the “right” ritual to do. Tokinaga’s stringent, black-and-white ethics demand a ritual.

It demands something that needs to be performed after crossing ethical wrongs, even if it no longer makes sense. Here, an apology is a ritual of absolution, even if it’s technically useless after all that had happened.

Tokinaga clings to it. Why?

Could it be because it’s a ritual Tokinaga himself undertakes?

As you continue the chapter, you might notice—with the benefit of hindsight—that the things Tokinaga was screaming almost sounded like things he would say to himself.

At some point, it could seem like he was projecting himself onto Orokapi—who, by being such a dear friend to him, who learned to be an ethical human from him—was like an extension of himself.

“Don’t run away, dumbass.” “Doesn’t it suck being scolded right now?” “Who would want to be friends with someone like that?”

—all of these could apply to Orokapi, but they can also be applied to Tokinaga himself. For example, Allula called him out on one specific accusation Tokinaga leveled at Orokapi: running away.

Chapter 55

-------

Quite the Literal Hate Boner

We later know one(there are plenty) of the biggest reasons Tokinaga hates himself: he gets aroused and hard from nothing but violence and hate. The more vile and violent, the harder his hormones run. And all this happens contrary to what his higher-ordered thinking believes and thinks.

Chapter 54

Side note: remember how Tokinaga shouted at Orokapi with “Doesn’t it suck being scolded right now?”  Yet, here, he was admitting to his body getting hard from being insulted. The one that felt pained when being scolded was his mind. The part of Tokinaga he believes is him, “the ethical, pure one.” The one he’s constantly reinforcing and tormenting, over and over, as his fitful penance.

Now, contrary to what Tokinaga believed, this isn’t as black-and-white as his thought process made it out to be. You can also just accept that this is who you are, and mitigate what you don’t like reasonably. You’re living in a crappy nigh-post-apocalyptic society with a bunch of amoral people who regularly skirt the edge of ethics, goddamn it. You’re hardly the only one with questionable morality.

In fact, it’s fine. You never act out on these desires. You don’t harbor the thought of wanting to kickstart a violent rampage to pleasure yourself. Tokinaga’s (literal) hate boner can even be safely relegated to the realm of kinks. There are plenty of doms who will happily take him as their cute puppy-dog sub.

But Tokinaga cannot accept it. He is determined to maintain his sense of purity. Even in the face of his sexual desire. Or the decisions he had made using his time-loop powers to ensure his “perfect death.”

He wants to believe he is “clean.” And that he can keep himself that way.

If you were a certain kind of person with a similar thought process as Tokinaga, you might go to punishing lengths to hold onto this quixotic sense of purity, while simultaneously tormented by the anxiety of it slipping away from you.

You might, perhaps, cling to every ritual of purification you can to scrub yourself clean of this constant onslaught of contamination. Apology is one of them. Eviscerating yourself and other forms of mental flagellation is another.

He even mentioned the latter. He described how much his heart ached and trembled at the sight of brutality while his body went ahead and got excited. And then, hinting at punishment, he admitted to torturing his mind with intense mental castigation every night.

Chapter 54

This matches the experience of my aforementioned friend and acquaintance—who, last I checked, are not godkillers who can turn back time (aww man).

Nonetheless, they suffer from a specific mental disorder that I find to be an interesting comparison to Tokinaga’s psychology.

---

Tokinaga Sachiyuki:  An Allegory of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Chapter 50

Hey! If you’re like my acquaintance, who freezes up at OCD mentions sometimes, take care when reading this part!

Now, I’m not too terribly interested in headcanons. The mangaka has made no such proclamation, either, and so my personal principles come into play. I won’t claim he definitely has OCD.

What I would like to put forward, though, is that Tokinaga’s psychology mirrors much of a person suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder. What he has isn’t an exact match to the real-world experience because, again, he’s a fictional character who can loop time and might be a dragon (oops, did I just drop a teaser for my next essay? Hmmmmmm).

---

“This isn’t what I want! This isn’t who I am!”

What separates OCD and Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder is that thoughts and compulsions in the former are egodystonic, while the latter is egosyntonic [1][2].

Egosyntonic: thoughts, behaviors, and feelings that are perceived by the self to be in harmony with their self-image, as well as their goals and needs. “There is nothing maladjusted with my behavior; this is  who I ‘really’ am.”

Egodystonic: thoughts, behaviors, desires, compulsions etc. that go against one’s perception of their self-image, “who they are,” and are dissonant to the needs and the goals of the ego. “There is something seriously fucked-up with my thoughts/behaviors.”

Chapter 55

Tokinaga exhibits egodystonic agony in droves. His sexual desire insults the self-image he holds about himself—the “Tokinaga” who’s disgusted by carnage, unforgivingly repulsed by brutality, as well as terrified of the frequency of such violence occurring in life. He hated all of it with his soul, and yet his penis is getting so fucking hard by seeing it.

---

Intrusive Thoughts and The Behaviors/Rituals To Fight Them

His sexual desire, as well as any thoughts of him being possibly unethical or immoral, are his version of intrusive thoughts. They aren’t just “negative thoughts” he can swat away without them corroding his sense of self. They are his obsessions[3][4]. He had managed to keep them at bay for the first bulk of the story—unless, of course, you notice his compulsive adherence to ethics and his overall behavior from Chapter 30 onward. The façade cracked as the story progressed to Orokapi’s betrayal; it dealt a blow to his mental stability. In Chapter 55, Allula even wonders if Tokinaga is suffering from a mental decline.

All of these distressing obsessions compelled Tokinaga to follow a very stringent set of ethics—which he mostly applies only to himself. To me, his rigid ritual of an apology is as good an allegorical insight as any. His nightly mental castigation, where he fervently visualizes himself dying with all the sins of the world on his shoulder, is an even wider window to such a psyche.

What sets him as a great allegory of OCD while distinguishing himself from OCPD is that he’s not doing this because he believes he’s a good, sinless person.

He’s doing it because he believes he’s the worst.

So shitty, in fact, that he thinks being killed by Allula—whose abuses would put him through the most excruciating, pleasureless pain while his body experiences blissful, painless pleasure—is the only fitting end he deserves and therefore works toward that goal. Before he gets there, though, he’d have to endure his many intrusive obsessions... and hopefully, along the way, eradicate the embodiments of violence the masses had called “gods.”

-----

Conclusion

Chapter 20. This expression tells you a lot about what Orokapi genuinely sees in his friend. One of my favorite faces yet.

Again, lemme reiterate: there is no canonical word on Tokinaga being a sufferer of OCD. I mean, if he were to perform compulsive behaviors, such as skin-peeling or hair-pulling, it might become more canonically implicative.

What I’m going off from here is his actions and psyche so far, as well as the empirical recognition—by my friend and acquaintance—of his experience. To me, OCD has become a fascinating and fitting framework for understanding some of the complexities of this character.

It speaks to the strength of After God’s character writing when Tokinaga turns out to be a great allegorical presentation for OCD in media.

Side note: I’m personally a big fan of writing about atypical experiences in an organic, humanizing way however possible, because it helps readers understand the experience without too much focus on “therapy speaks” and the rules in the DSM-V. Yes, I say this as someone who studies cognitive science, is familiar with that manual, and advocates more rigor and replicability in the fields of psychology.

In case the length of this essay did not show it clearly enough: I adore Tokinaga. As of now, I sincerely believe him when he says he’s genuinely a good person... because, as I witnessed from my friend, it takes a certain kind of good person to be able to get this tormented in the first place. More importantly, Tokinaga may have clung to a stringent sense of morality out of compulsion, but it still makes him a good person in action.

If you feel similarly to him—OCD or not—remember that one’s mind could often distort one’s vice into virtue, and virtue into vice.

Maybe you’re moral because you’re compelled to do so to battle your intrusive thoughts, and so it feels less “authentic" than being "genuinely moral."

But I disagree. As is the spirit of Buddhist Philosophy (which I personally adhere to; also lowkey study), I think you’re already pragmatically good, and through those actions, you already position yourself in an advantageous spot for moral progress. And that will always be a cause for optimism.

Thank you for reading my ramble—despite the length! I hope you've enjoyed it.

----

Citations:

“Egosyntonic and egodystonic” In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egosyntonic_and_egodystonic

“Obsessive–compulsive personality disorder. In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_personality_disorder

“Obsessive-compulsive disorder” In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_disorder

“Intrusive thought.” In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thought

[sunnysam-my]

Blitzø is probably a hybrid, but his appearance is way more interesting than just that.

People have been speculating that Blitzø mother is imp/succubus hybrid or just a succubus (the first one seems more likely), but I feel like people miss out on just how weird Blitzø's appearance is regardless of that.

But first, his mother has horns seen only in succubus (and fish demons, but the eyes don't match) and their hybrids. She is also taller than most imps and have eyes more commonly seen in succubus. We constantly see succubus/imp hybrids in the show so this isn't an insane stretch. It's highly likely she's mixed.

His father is also odd. He has horrifyingly big horns, that don't follow the usual round pattern of imp's horns. The only non-hybrid imp I can think of who had similar pattern is Millie's sister. He is also tall for an imp, has spikes on his back and tail, and has large hands and long fingers.

So why is exactly is Blitz weird? Well, there's a lot of things that make him stand out.

1. He is tall, like, really tall. While there are some super tiny imps, most imps are around height of Moxxie. We rarely ever see any imp as tall as or taller than Blitz.

2. Most imps don't wear shoes, because of their hooves, but interesting Blitzø seems to wear boots because of his hooves. The are shaped like heels. As far as we know, most imps don't have this type of foot.

3. Blitzø has spikes on his head, back and tail. While we do see some imps have spikes it's not very common and usually it's just few spikes in one spot, meanwhile he has at least 9 on his body.

4. Imps have eyes with black slitted pupils, and sometimes visible red irises that tend to grow wide when an Imp is angered. Blitz, Barb (his twin sister) and their mother however always have the iris visible. Fizzarolli also have this.

5. Imps have both white and black markings, while white usually are scars, sometimes they seem to be genetic, like freckles. It is possible that imps can get black tattoos. Blitzø have the skull on his just like the rest of the circus he grew up in, but he also have a very unique marking - vertical lines on his eyes. No other imp has this. Similarly, Fizz has black dots an his cheeks. This could be a tattoo or a natural mark like on their tails. Either way it's unique.

6. Lastly, he has lots of scars. We're not exactly sure how they are seen in Hell's society, considering imps violent nature they may not be seen as ugly as their are for humans. Still, blitzø has lots of scars from 3rd and severe 2nd degree burns on his body, including his face.

While those traits alone aren't that unique the combination of all of this make him stand out a lot.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

How do you think Delta/Beta and Epic learned about Color's abandonment trauma? Or his trauma from the VOID and his AU?

Considering I like to HC that Delta and Color became roommates really not long after Color managed to escape the Void, I think the signs of something having happened were honestly very obvious. Id imagine Color wasn’t exactly the most physically healthy or clean or decent smelling guy, due to the lack of water/ability to clean himself and nothing to eat in the Void.

We don’t know how long Color spent in Othertale’s Void, but if it was long enough, he could’ve likely needed support to be able to gather enough strength in his bones to even walk, let alone long distances. The Judgement Hall in the Void wasn’t very spacious.

Considering he likely had to sleep on the floor, he may have back problems—and probably struggled to adapt to sleeping on a bed (too soft), sleeping with pillows or a blanket, sleeping in the dark and sleeping alone.

I wouldn’t be suprised if Color often woke up panicking in the first few weeks, possibly even avoided sleeping all together. Or maybe he overcompensated by oversleeping, considering that was likely the only thing he could really do in the Void. Id imagine it eventually became a situation where to get any comfortable sleep at all, Delta eventually offered Color to sleep in the bed with him or just in his room.

Overstimulation (Autistic + having dealt with prolonged isolation + basically sensory deprivation), constant fatigue, probably having to relearn and adapt to his impaired depth perception—constantly bumping into things or spilling drinks and food all over himself. He probably displayed disordered eating patterns for awhile there, either overeating or simply just not eating enough (perhaps having to readjust to the idea that food is available now.)

He might find himself struggling to adapt to Gaster not being there, and Delta’s presence—there may be days where he struggles to truly believe that he’s out and that other people can see him and are aware that he exists. He may have even developed a habit of talking to himself out loud in the Void, self soothing techniques, and he may even be able to do things like play games that were intended for 2 or more people by himself just to pass his boredom.

Color hates being alone, and sure he had Gaster, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t used to being alone. There’s only so much Gaster could’ve done—I’m sure Color has learned ways to manage his symptoms, boredom, complete and utter loneliness on his own.

He’s likely figured out ways to soothe himself, maybe even engage in his own positive or affirmative self talk, simply because im sure there was a lot of times Color either didn’t want Gaster’s help or couldn’t stand Gaster’s help without things getting worse for him.

There may even be times where Color just falls mute for whatever reason (compared to his normal excessive yapping he might’ve engaged in just to fill the silence), and just take to silently standing nearby or following Delta around. Because he doesn’t want to be alone.

All is to say, im sure Delta notices immediately that Color isn’t doing very well and seems to have lost social skills. Is behaving both like he hasn’t been around people or the outside world in a very, very, long time—and like a traumatized person. The issues with food, shower, water—seem to suggest having been unable to have access to such things for quite awhile—especially if Color struggles to remember doing so.

I’m sure spacing out and dissociating was often a problem in the early days—like in the Othertale short where Color was just staring dead eyed out into space before Core Frisk showed up.

I’m sure Delta notices all this and more and speculates on everything, putting pieces together, but probably doesn’t ask for direct confirmation—just focuses on trying to help Color adjust back to the actual world. If Delta ever does learn, it’s likely because Color just tells him. When he’s ready.

[lemotmo]

This is kind of a question for Ali (hi Ali!) but also a question I’d love to hear your thoughts on.

A lot of people (myself included) have noticed similarities between last seasons promo and bts being really focused on Oliver/Buck and this seasons being really focused on Ryan/Eddie.

We now know the focus on Oliver/Buck was because of the bi Buck arc. Do you think the focus this year is because we’re (hopefully) getting a queer Eddie arc? Another major Eddie arc that isn’t about his sexuality? Not about Eddie at all and everyone just really loves the mustache?

Hi Nonnies! if it's okay for you guys I'm going to answer your asks in one go.

First of all, if anyone is interested in what that link leads to. It's someone on Twitter who points out that all this Ryan promo is the exact same thing they did with Oliver last season.

All right, let's get down to business and answer this:

I actually went back to check all the pre season 7 interviews and bts. And yes, there was so much focus on Oliver, both in the bts and the interviews. There were so many questions about where Buck's story was going and talk about his professional life and love life. Oliver even used the words 'self-discovery' when he talked about Buck. Something Ryan has been heavily hinting at himself in some interviews he did during 7b and post season 7.

All of the PR follows the exact same pattern. I expect more interviews and articles to come out with the same questions about Eddie's professional life, love life and of course his role as a father to Christopher.

So yeah, looking at all of these comparisons, it's clear we're going to get to know Eddie a whole lot better in season 8. They're gearing up towards something big for his character. Now, whether or not this 'something' has to do with his sexuality and eventually Buck's role in Eddie rediscovering himself?

Well, it sure does seem so, doesn't it. It all adds up. What else could possibly be something so big for Eddie's character that he gets so much focus? He's already rock bottom because Chris is gone. He dealt with some unresolved Shannon feelings (weird Kim took care of that with her dead wife cosplay) and I highly doubt the show will keep repeating the same Shannon story line. So, what else is there to explore?

The way I see it is that the moustache is a visual way to set Eddie apart. It makes him 'different' this season. It's an important new part of him, but it isn't the main storyline. The moustache indicates change for Eddie. Just the moustache isn't enough to build an arc for a character. But it is a way to tell the audience something is going on with Eddie, because he changed his look. So what is behind that change? That is what is really going on. And yeah, I do strongly think it might have something to do with his sexuality.

Disclaimer though! I'm always cautious when I talk about these things, because the truth is that we won't know for sure until we get some kind of confirmation from the show. Until we get that, we need to keep in mind that this might not go the way we all expect it to go.

This doesn't mean that we can't be happy, positive and hopeful about all of this. Ryan is obviously important in season 8. We get tons of content and the cast is having the time of their lives. And we get to speculate and theorise over every single scrap of content that we get. What more could we possibly want as fans? We're living the dream right now. 😁

So, I say we wait this one out for a while and see what other promo we're going to get. I'm also heavily side-eyeing the fact that they keep pushing back the Family Feud episode. Who knows? Maybe they did really spoil queer Eddie in that show after all? 😋

As for Ali's point of view. Well, I just received an ask from one of the nonnies. Thank you by the way! It's somewhat about this topic, so I'll just copy/paste it in this post. She doesn't address a possible queer arc for Eddie here, but she does address the Ryan promo.

I'll tag Ali's tags as well under this post and if an Ali ask about Eddie's possible queer arc gets dropped into my ask box I'll make sure to share it with you Nonny! I promise.

I hope you both have a great day!

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[shakingparadigm]

i’m sorry but i am still yet to know about where did ivan learn all of this shit came from?? like how did he learn the knowledge to unlock the collar and whatnot.

like did he learn from observation? did unsha taught him?

better yet, does segyein even knew about this?

maybe there’s already an answer and i am just legally blonde (blind) but i am curious on what do u think about this :0

btw i am relatively new to this whole alnst and i really love your post so far :) i am scared for r7 hold me,,

welcome to alnst anon!!!! i am holding you... we will make it through r7 together.....

As far as I know, the true reason as to why Ivan can do these things has yet to be revealed. There are certain factors that may have contributed to him gaining this knowledge, however.

He's an incredibly intelligent child. Intelligent enough for it to be a significant feature, one that is pointed out and emphasized by the segyein themselves. He's also a very keen observer and internalizes a lot of the things he witnesses (he's said to mimic the expressions and behaviors of others in order to create a "mask", but I wouldn't doubt him trying to mimic certain patterns and actions that he observes from the segyein as well).

There's the important factor of Ivan being a model student and the "perfect" pet, a persona that grants him a certain amount of privilege and plausible deniability. From the Anakt Kit entries, it seems that the segyein looking after the Garden are quite fond of him and don't find him capable of doing anything wrong or rebellious. Since the segyein removed Ivan's collar due to good behavior, there's a possibility that Ivan was also allowed to see things that other pets weren't. Perhaps as a trusted pet he was granted access to bits of information or was given certain responsibilities that led to him acquiring new knowledge. Just speculation, though.

I'm not sure if Unsha is aware or even involved in Ivan's... special abilities, but I'd guess the answer is no. Ivan is quite good at keeping certain things hidden, especially in front of authority figures. He also utilizes these abilities where he's sure the segyein won't see, so it's safe to assume that it's something meant to be kept secret. They can't know that he knows. Judging by their overwhelmingly positive reviews on his behavior, it seems that they never found out.

[onceuponapuffin]

My Good Omens Season 3 Predictions

Based on the Amazon Playlist and Established Patterns in S1 and S2

I’ve been listening to the songs on the official playlist that Amazon released in December, and I’ve been thinking about it non-stop. It’s been long enough, and now I feel like I have a solid enough footing to have ideas about season 3 based on the information given to us by the playlist (especially the songs Neil provided). Keep in mind that this is my speculation only. I may be entirely wrong, this post may age poorly, but I am okay with that. At the end of the day, I know for absolute fact that I will be THRILLED with whatever season 3 actually brings (But please – for my sanity – let there be a happy ending for Crowley and Aziraphale).

First of all, we know the season was outlined back in 2005, and I would assume (for the sake of this post if nothing else) that by the time the s3 announcement came, Prime had the general outline. And so, in the spirit of how this show does things, the playlist is full of Clues.

GIF by fuckyeahgoodomens

I’ll put the songs in parenthesis as I go.

Between “Before the Beginning” and “In the Beginning,” i.e. Flashback 1:

We’re going to start the season with Crowley’s Fall (Midnight Rain). Neil has said that he’s not going to ever tell us Starmaker’s name, so I’m not expecting that. But we know that each season starts with a prologue, and we also know that these flashback mirror the current events. Crowley’s Fall makes a lot of sense to start with because it is the first thing that pulls him and Aziraphale apart. And where are we starting from in present day? The Divorce.

How Are Crowley and Aziraphale Doing?

Bad (I’m a Mess). Crowley presents fine to the world, but we, who know him, can see he is struggling. I don’t know if he’ll actually go to therapy, but I would adore it if we got a glimpse of Crowley trying it and being like “NOPE” when it got too hard. He keeps expecting Aziraphale to walk around every corner, and keeps replaying the divorce in his mind (Just My Imagination).

Aziraphale isn’t doing well either. The Kiss, and by extension his last conversation with Crowley plays on his mind all the time (Could’ve Been).

Very soon after the playlist was released, one of my Good Omens friends on Discord (I forget who it was, I am so sorry), suggested that maybe Aziraphale is communicating with Crowley through his dreams. Honestly, I am so on board with this. With the number of songs that mention dreams and daydreams in this playlist, there is no way that Crowley’s dreams and/or imagination won’t play some kind of role in this season (In Dreams, Just My Imagination).

Minisodes

The Titanic

I think the most interesting thing is that we’re going to have at least one minisode about them alone through time. It’s something that we haven’t seen before, and it parallels their current journey.

That being said, I think one of these will be the Titanic (My Heart Will Go On). Here’s how I see it happening:

Crowley is the one on the ship. He’s not there to sink it, he’s just there to enjoy himself. Maybe he plays around with the kids a bit, maybe he makes friends. Point is, the humans have built this supposedly-unsinkable ship of dreams and he just has to see it. He’s there when it sinks. Maybe he even tries to save people or get the other ships to come faster, but he can’t save everyone.

Heartbroken, he returns home to his dark flat. He doesn’t turn on any lights. There are two envelopes waiting for him. He sits at the table to read them in the dark. The first is a commendation from Hell:

“Great job sinking the Titanic! Downstairs are Very Impressed with your work, as always!” He scoffs and tosses it aside. The second one is from Aziraphale.

Oh great, he thinks, Just what I need, a little ‘oh how dare you drown all those people you evil demon you.’ when I’m already feeling like shit. He opens it anyway. The first lines read:

“My Dear Crowley,

I heard that you were aboard the Titanic when it sank. Are you alright?”

Crowley breaks down and cries. ~End Scene~

1941

The playlist has Heart and Soul on it, but not a recent version – it’s specifically one that was recorded in 1939. So we’re almost definitely getting 1941 Part 3.

GIF by mimisempai

We’re going to find out what happened to cause their huge shift in dynamics from Date Night to 1967, and I think it’s a kiss. Maybe a kiss on the cheek? I’m not entirely sure. I do hope they get to slow dance to A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square though.

The Reunion

My friends, it will not go well. This is one of the songs that Neil chose – Cry Me a River. It just reeks of Aziraphale coming back and Crowley being (understandably, and rightly) being bitter towards him. Aziraphale will, eventually, I’m sure, get back in his good books, but he’s gonna need more than an I Was Wrong Dance to do it.

(Actually?) Saving the World

Okay so being perfectly honest, the only reason either of them are the lead characters in this series is because they’re so freaking loveable. They are very bad at their jobs. Anathema, Newt, and Adam saved the world in S1, and although the Husbands gave Adam a little pep-talk, I think he’s smart enough that he could have managed it on his own if he had to.

So, this time they actually need to save the world and have an actual plan. This is where I think a second body swap will happen – hear me out! First of all, remember that no one aside from Gabriel (who is Someone Knows Where), none of the angels or demons have figured out their trick from the first time. So I don’t think it is the plan, but I do think it will be part of the plan. Where am I pulling this idea from? The Show Must Go On, another one of Neil’s choices. It sounds like it’s from Aziraphale’s perspective, but Queen songs are usually associated with Crowley. Seems odd, right? Maybe because it is. Maybe because they swap.

The Book of Life

I think we’re going to see The Book of Life, and I think it’s going to basically be The Book of Love. I think this is where we’re going to get the Main Thesis. The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything, if you will. Love. It’s supposed to be Love.

The Book of Love – another of Neil’s choices.

Epilogue

I predict they get their South Downs cottage (Neil said “not yet,” which implies it’s coming). And there’s also a wedding, though I’m not sure whose it will be (The Book of Love). I REALLY hope that it’s Crowley and Aziraphale, because they deserve that kind of happy ending, and Neil is too much of an Ally not to realize how important it is that they get to Live Happily Ever After.

One Last Thought

I still have no idea what to make of I’d Rather Go Blind. That’s it. That’s the last thought I wanted to share that doesn’t really fit in anywhere else.

Thanks for going on this journey with me. Let’s make our Bingo cards and see if I managed to get anything right in 3-4 years.

[writing-for-life]

Hi love, how are you?

Would you like to talk a little about what Morpheus finds attractive, sexy in a woman?

opinions, theories, anything aaaaaa

Hi friend, always so lovely to see you in my inbox! And everyone else: Send me asks, too, I love them!

Oh, an ask about Dream’s sexual/romantic proclivities and his “type”—the excitement!

You could of course read my fic, then you’ll know what he wants/needs 😜

In all honesty though: I’m not in his head, so who can tell? I guess we can only go by certain hints we get in the comics and draw our own conclusions. So here come a few thoughts:

I think he has a thing for dreamers? Sounds obvious I guess, but many of the women we know he got involved with were women with strong connections to the Dreaming (Killalla, Nada, Calliope, even Thessaly), for a multitude of reasons. And having that connection is, by extension, a connection to him. If we’re getting conceptual about it: They are actually, in a way, pursuing him first (and in the case of Nada and even Killalla and Thessaly, we are basically told so in a way). Which then leads to his courting them, because they are interested in him. And I think that’s something very integral to his being: He is extremely, devastatingly lonely. He craves not being lonely. So the very fact that someone would even contemplate being interested in him, giving him their time of day (or night), would probably already mean a lot to him.

I think we can also see a pattern for women who are fairly strong-willed and speak their mind. Whether he always likes that is a different question, but Titania, Alianora, Nada, Calliope, Thessaly are all prone to talk back and not take shit.

I’ll leave the whole Desire-involvement out of the equation because that skews things. He tries to avoid D/desire because of the sibling-conflict yet definitely feels it. So I neither subscribe to the theory that he’s asexual nor aromantic (some corners of the fandom think he is, fair enough). Especially not aromantic. That’s a contradiction in terms. He’s Dream. Dreaming is idealised and unreal. In love, that’s the very definition of romance—having pink goggles on and aspiring to something that’s not grounded in reality (one of the reasons his relationships ultimately all fail).

So I think he’s prone to romantic gestures (we know that from especially Calliope) and would probably also appreciate them from his lover? That also means: If you want to keep it going, there’d probably always need to be something that keeps him interested. Questioning even (but not in the way like with Thessaly, because she completely removed herself). By definition of his being the unreal, reality setting in is the very thing that makes it all come crashing down. Push/pull, back and forth is probably something he secretly likes? It wouldn’t surprise me if he enjoys a certain amount of drama—again, not the type that makes it all come crashing down, but just enough to keep him on his toes and wondering. Just enough to keep the illusion of impermanence and striving for the impossible going, but not so much that it really turns into an issue. And that’s exactly the problem, because that sounds like a fairly tricky line to walk if you ask me. And exhausting 🤣

Now to the more speculative side:

I think he desperately needs someone who removes the proverbial stick from his arse. He needs to learn to laugh again (if he ever did so in the first place). With others and at himself. I spent a lot of time in my fic to build on that. Ultimately, I think he needs to feel safe enough to let his guard down completely with someone, and I honestly don’t think he ever experienced that with any of his lovers. And for that, he needs to be able to trust. Could be via shared experience of sorts, but I think most of all, he needs someone who truly listens and doesn’t try to change him. Because he is D/dream. Being perpetually strange and prone to be misunderstood is the essence of his being, and he needs someone who is comfortable enough with that fact. So weirdly enough, I think he would change if people stopped trying to make him change, if that makes any sense? He needs acceptance, not blunt or subtle force. I guess you can give dreams the space to change and grow, or you can try to control them—and the latter just doesn’t work. We also see that with him—his rigid sense of control is ultimately his downfall, not what truly helps him. And I think that extends to everything he is, including his relationships.

As for what he likes in terms of bedroom shenanigans (and the purely speculative, but obviously what Tumblr seems to be most interested in 🤣): In my mind, he’s the ultimate switch, if you will. He’ll get a kick out of everything that turns you on, because he is D/dream, and I think it is his very essence to also be that for sex dreams (we don’t need to talk about Calliope’s inappropriate speech at the Wake in this context 🙈).

BUT, and I think that’s an important one: Maybe, just maybe, he needs something that is just for him? Giving in to his own desires (there’s that messed up sibling relationship again). Giving himself permission to do that by being given permission. Be very afraid of my sequel… 🤣 No, that sounds all wrong because my sequel is really not about that alone and will be reliably sad and heavy in parts, like the first one, but I wouldn’t be a romance writer if I didn’t explore relationship dynamics through sex. Because sex is never just about sex 😉

@morpheusbaby3 ask answered

[celticcrossanon]

BRF Reading - 9th of August, 2024

This is speculation only

Card drawn on the 9th of August, 2024

Question: How does Harry feel about his military service?

This is a one card reading

Note: I will come back to this question tomorrow, this is just to get a starting point.

Card Drawn: Death in reverse

Death in reverse means that you are resisting a necessary change or you are afraid of changing, you are repeating negative patterns, stagnation, decay, and so on.

The energy from this card is that Harry loved his time in the military and he does not want to let go of it. He is clinging to that past period in his life with everything he has. He doesn't want it to stay in the past; he wants it to be a part of his present life as well. He doesn't want to create a new image for himself, he wants to be 'Hero Harry' who is 'one of the lads' forever.

The negative patterns associated with his army days - alleged drug use, alleged partying Mon - Fri and then a few days on the base before partying again, alleged sexual harassment (at best) of female officers - these are patterns that he wants to repeat for the rest of his life. He has no intention of moving past them.

Death is the card for Scorpio, and the ruler of Scorpio is Pluto, and one of the things associated with Pluto and in a lesser way with Scorpio is obsession. Harry's feelings for his time in the army verge on obsession. It is not the work or the discipline that he likes and misses, but the glory - the medals, the uniform, the respect shown to him by others - that is what he wants back and wants to continue. I'm not getting any liking for army discipline, in fact I am getting the words 'it was a lazy life' which fits with the Bunker Harry rumours, but he definitely liked getting dressed in his uniform and parading around with his medals, he liked the respect he got from others as a veteran, and he loved the fact that he had a higher rank (in his mind) than Prince William.

I'm also getting an energy that says all the things Harry got in and out of the army as part of being the monarch's grandson - the medals, the wearing his uniform as events, the promotion to higher ranks as happens with all royals - Harry sees those things as things that he deserves and is entitled to because of his army service, unlike those royal family members who haven't seen active service. I think he expected to be promoted above all other members of the royal family who have not done active service.

There are two other energies that I am getting from this card.

Firstly, Death in reverse says to me that Harry never killed anyone while he was in the army. If that is true, then his 'kill count' that he boasted about in Spare was made up to make him look good in his own mind.

Secondly, the Death card can represent The King, who is a sun sign Scorpio. In the reverse, it says that The King is being overshadowed or diminished in some way. I think that Harry thinks that his army service makes him better than his father, because his father never saw active service and he did.

Underlying Energy: Strength in Reverse

Strength in reverse is a card about being weak in some area. It can be physical weakness, or it can be an inner weakness, such a a lack of self confidence or cowardice.

The energy of this card, and what underlies Harry clinging to his status as a military person, is - not self doubt, but something similar - I've forgotten the word - and cowardice. Harry hides behind the image of himself as a soldier to hide from the fact that at heart, he is a coward. He is the sort of person who would save himself first and then make up excuses for why he deserted his comrades. When he is treated as a Very Important Military Person, he can believe in the fantasy that he is a brave and heroic figure, like a child playing at being a hero.

Strength is the card for Leo, Leo is ruled by the Sun, and the Sun is ego. There is a lot of ego wrapped up in Harry's image of himself as a soldier, in a 'I am better than you' way. It is ego in its shadow, as the card is reversed - unbridled ego, ego without any restraint on it. The image in my mind is of Harry walking into a room dressed in his uniform and thinking 'yes, you all have to worship me because I'm a soldier'. I don't think he actually thinks that, but that is the size and state of his ego that is attached to the idea of 'Hero Harry', with uniforms and medals being an integral part of that image for him. He loved the attention that he got from being a soldier.

Conclusion:

Harry loved the attention, respect, and glory (medals and increasing rank) that he got as a military person. He wants to stay in that spot, as Hero Harry, forever. He is not willing to grow beyond his concept of this role or move into other stages of his life. In his mind, those were his glory days, and he is clinging to them for all he is worth. I think that at least part of his self image is based around the idea of himself as 'Hero Harry'.

[sadlybeans]

ok but now i need to write down these! (disclaimer: this is a compilation of things i’ve seen + a couple of mine, so you probably know a lot of them already)

✨Batdad headcanons✨

So we all know the classical ‘wouldn’t notice if some other random kid started living in his house’ thing, right? I personally think it’s true to some point. Like, he would notice there’s a new kid he definitely did not bring into the house, BUT he immediately (and mostly correctly) assumes said kid is here because their life sucks otherwise so he pretends not to see. (Bc like, come on, the Wayne family is anything but functional so if this is an improvement, what was their life like before they came?)

He doesn’t really care what the kids do with his money??? If they come up to him and ask “Hey B! Can I have a million bucks?” he would pull out his phone and wire them 2 million without question. The only one who has absolutely zero trust and must say explicitly what he wants is Damian, for obvious reasons.

He says he doesn’t have favourites but everyone knows he does. Cass, of course, and Jason (Do you seriously think he could carry guns with little issue if he didn’t have favourite son privileges?).

In reality, he’s absolute shit at handing out punishment/scolding the kids. He does try, to his credit, but they know how to manipulate their way out of it or bend the rules to their favour.

He tried his best not to swear in front of them as they grew up (still doesn’t swear at all in their presence), but at some point he just gave up on scolding them for it. So while on patrol, he’ll just sigh every time Jason screams “motherfucker!” into the comms, but back in the mansion may god help them if Alfred hears them.

Ever since Dick was a kid he started carrying snacks with him on patrol. Nowadays he needs to be prepared and carry all the specific varieties they like. (He forgot Dick’s mini cereal bags once and he still can’t hear the end of it).

I personally think he would let the public think all the kids are his bio kids. Gotham thinks he’s just really an idiot when it comes to birth control, because surely all those black haired, blue eyed children are his. (The only ones whose parentage is truly questioned are Duke and Damian, but as he grows up Damian looks more and more like Bruce so the speculation dies down).

As a follow up, at first people tried to claim they were pregnant with his kid, but actually it was the Wayne children who shut it down by unsubtly implying all of them were planned and wanted, not accidents. (Which is technically true…)

He may be give Tired Dad energy 90% of the time, but there’s a reason all his kids are insane, reckless, diabolical little terrors. They learnt to be THAT overdramatic from him.

Like, come on. Bruce “I dress as a bat to beat up clowns” Wayne, a responsible and sensible adult?

HA.

He’s always excited to receive AND give gifts to his family. Half the time he just receives drawings of bats, exactly one sock with a silly pattern, or a cheap scented candle from the dollar store but you can bet your ass he treasures every last one of them.

Because of how much he spoils his own kids, he cannot be left unsupervised with anyone else’s children. (Too many times has this warning been ignored— Wally’s still salty that Barry dragged him back home. Jon has his own bedroom in the mansion)

He may have difficulties with accepting he has emotions but he loves all his kids just the same and he never regrets becoming a dad, even if do drive him mad sometimes.