#these are all relative terms btw

[heepthecheep]

Co-opting the idea of the Green Children of Woolpit, but not so much in the "these children are green" kinda way but in a "there's a secret land where the sun never shines, it's always dusk" kinda way

[laundrybiscuits]

I've recently been tagged in a few WIP/"last thing you've written" type games, and…to be completely candid, I haven't been writing any kind of fic lately because I've become a little bit obsessed with analyzing the Broadway revival of Merrily We Roll Along.

Not for any particular purpose, I just saw it at the Hudson a little while back and have a lot of feelings about it! In my tiny scraps of spare time, I've been working on an essay about Merrily and inevitability that will probably end up rotting in my google docs*, because that's how I approach writing as a hobby.

There's just so much there, holy shit. I'm focusing particularly on "Franklin Shepard, Inc." because Radcliffe's Charley brings a frenetic, desperate vulnerability to the performance that reads so, so differently from earlier productions. Throughout the show, I was consistently blown away by the heavy lifting Radcliffe, Mendez, and Groff do in shifting the core tension from "art vs commerce" (fine but basic, and difficult to keep modern) to "how people prioritize different types of relationships in their lives."

In an effort to make this slightly less wildly off-topic for this blog: this has gotten me thinking about the way that platonic relationships are treated in narratives, particularly but not exclusively in fandom.

"Found family" is and has always been a popular trope, but I do think its current incarnation trades a lot on the underlying fantasy of relationship permanence. When we recategorize friendships as familial relationships, we're making a claim—whether or not it's justified—about the indelibility of those relationships.

That's not inherently bad (or, god forbid, problematic). I think it's very very natural, especially for those who don't necessarily have a lot of experience with the way adult friendships change over time. Why wouldn't you want something as precious and unique and amazing as a good friendship to stay with you forever?

Certain people can feel like pillars of your world, and it's fucking terrifying to think about that being yanked out from under you—or even worse, to think about your lives slowly shifting like geologic plates until suddenly you realize it's been weeks, then months, then years since you last really talked.

CHARLEY: We're not that kind of close any more, the way we used to be. And a friendship's like a garden. You have to water it and tend it and care about it. And you know what? I want it back.

It's a peculiar, particular kind of grief when it happens, because even though it's a fairly common human experience, it doesn't get socially acknowledged in the same way as e.g. a romantic breakup.

So yeah, it makes a lot of sense that found family is a popular trope in all kinds of media, not just fandom.

However...at this point, I've developed a knee-jerk wariness to the phrase "found family," because I've found it often correlates with a really flat, simplistic depiction of human relationships. In extreme cases, it simply recontextualizes a relationship within the socially acknowledged/acceptable framework of a stereotypical family unit.

This does a disservice to familial and nonfamilial relationships alike. Every family is different, so why do so many found families in media look the same?

(I was monologuing about this to my very patient girlfriend, and she pointed out that this also sets up a success/failure binary condition in relationships, where permanence is the arbiter of success in both romantic and nonromantic contexts. She is of course both beautiful and correct!)

I have friends with whom I can sometimes share a glance and know exactly what they're thinking. I even have a running joke with one friend about the sheer number of times we've said the same thing in unison over the last 15 years. I still need to be intentional about building those relationships, extending empathy when we differ, and carving out time to reconnect. Truly intimate long-term relationships of any kind involve disagreements, conflicting priorities, and negotiating and renegotiating boundaries.

Being "basically the same person" or "sharing a braincell" actually sounds super fucking lonely to me, personally, and it handily elides the difficult, essential process of keeping people in your life.

FRANK: Old friends let you go your own way. CHARLEY: Help you find your own way. MARY: Let you off when you're wrong. F: If you're wrong. C: When you're wrong. M: Right or wrong, the point is, old friends shouldn't care if you're wrong. F: Should, but not for too long. C: What's too long?

That's a more complicated and much more mature narrative to tell than "friendship will save the day!" Because it's not that common and there's not a deep bank of references to draw from, it takes a lot of effort and skill to depict well, and I don't blame creators for not wanting to let it suck up all the air in the room. However, I think it's important to acknowledge that platonic relationships can also be flanderised and flattened.

In the context of fandom, which has always traded heavily in Romance genre conventions, I would really like to see more thoughtful explorations of complicated nonromantic relationships. I'm not even talking about genfic here! I've actually been thinking about Stobin specifically because that relationship (rightly & understandably) tends to show up in any Steve-centric fic, including the vast ocean of Steddie fics, so it makes the issue slightly more visible than I've seen in other fandoms.

I'm not saying I want to see them fight, or not be friends, or not love each other fiercely and near-obsessively in the way that lonely teenagers can. I'm just saying I want them to be distinct individuals who view the world in very different ways, and choose each other anyway. They already have a complicated past; I know from personal experience that it's possible as a lesbian to be best friends with a guy who once made a little speech about how into you he was, but that little layer of history never quite goes away.

I don't want frictionless relationships in my life. I want people who will challenge me and whom I can challenge, in the context of love and trust. I want people in my life whom I have to work to understand, because my life is richer when I do. And sometimes, I want narratives that will reflect the grief of friendships that are no longer part of my life, despite the best efforts of everyone involved.

In Merrily, Charley sings, "Friendship's something you don't really lose—" but Radcliffe's thready, pleading delivery makes it all too clear: Charley already knows he's lying. The audience just needs to catch up.

*Other essays in that particular graveyard: understanding the cast of Peanuts through the lens of anomie, humor and subversive linguistic nationalism in 00s Singaporean TV, how to fix Miss Saigon. WHY am I this way.

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando and Fisi pictures that I like and enjoy a normal amount (pt. 1: 2005)

[despair-tea]

She wasn't wrong, I don't think.

[astrogre]

People Represented in each House

Including niche examples

1H

Yourself, your persona. You as an individual. Your role models (projection of your ideal self)

2H

Business partners, business collaborators, acting/modelling/any agency you are under. Podcasters you listen to, literal social media influencers, salesman, your self esteem mentors,your real estate agent, your savings coach, your bank, your stockbroker

2H includes people who influence how you earn money. 2H represents people who can influence your personal values and your self esteem E.g a Ben Shapiro to a politically curious individual, the kardashians to a teenage girl. 2nd house can also represent people involved in the maintenance, acquisition and management of your possessions and finances

3H

Your siblings, your neighbours, your relatives like extended family, peers and acquaintances like the people in your class you know of but don’t talk to enough to say they’re your friend, peers, acquaintances, colleagues/coworkers, professors, educational teachers, speaking coach, language teacher

3H is related to intellectual pursuits, learning, just all forms of intellectual development, mercury sits well here. It’s about the people who you interact with daily as they influence your way of communication The individuals here would influence your communication style, interests and knowledge

4H

Your mother (mother figure if you don’t have a mother), your parents but particularly your mother figure, the collective of your whole family, ancestors, caregivers, people that live in your house like your flatmates, your housemates, housekeepers, butlers

4H represents the physical home, the mother, familial connections, nurturers etc. so the people here would be the ones living in it and those who have influence in your domestic life

5H

Your children, your inner child, you as a parent, your nieces, your nephews, romantic partners (short term), artistic partners E.g co-writers, collaborators, people involved in your projects, your students, your mentees, your investors, your hook up partners, people who you gamble or just play games with.

5H represents children, creativity, your mentoring to others, gambling, fun, joyful light love affairs, it’s also ruled by Leo. So we have these people involved with these themes

6H

Coworkers, colleagues, employees, staff (individuals who work under you or provide a service to you), your doctor, your contractors, your nurses, your teammates, your healthcare providers, your therapist, your career coach, your internship mentor, your assistants, your service providers, your pets, your gym colleagues, your fitness instructor, your nutritionist, your organiser, your HR department, your vet

6H represents work environment, daily routines, service, health and well-being, these are the people that you find under that setting

7H

Romantic partners, your spouse, life partner, your closest friends, confidants, allies, your supporters, your business partners, anyone you form a pact with, your clients, your customers (the kind you engage with in professional settings), your lawyers, your legal team, your competitors, your opponents, your matchmaker, your wedding planner, your relationship therapist

7H ruled by Libra represents all relationships that also includes bad ones btw, business relationships, marriage, 7H represents companions, partnerships, professional relationships, legal matters, professional representation so the people that fall under this house would be those that build relationships with you

8H

Financial partners/advisors, therapists, inheritors, beneficiaries (who you inherit from), occult teachers, your intimate long term sexual partners, your accountant, your councillors, your psychologist, your insurance agents, your estate planners, your morticians

8H is associated with death, sex, psychology, transformation, joint resources etc. and so these are the kind of people that 8H would represent

9H

Your professors, your teachers, your spiritual leaders, your priest, your pastor, your favourite scholars, your favourite philosophers, your lawyers, your judges, your legal advisors, your authors, your educational materials, your foreign friends, your foreign connections.

alike to 3H in education but 9H rules higher education so it’s an octave higher than 3H in terms of the teachers associated with it. 9H also represents justice and law so it would include people that work in this field that you encounter

10H

Your father, your boss, your mentor, your manager, people of authority, your parents (father in particular), influential figures you look up to, e.g your fave celebrities, government, politicians, your PR team, your publishers, you as a role model, your admirers like the people who look up to you, influencers, your business, icons

10H association with self-image and reputation and classic Saturn authority would include those who are involved in those themes

11H

Friends, peers. Social activists, humanitarians, philanthropists, inventors, forecasters, visionaries, leaders, community organisers, trendsetters

different from 3H in the sense that with 11H friends, you actually share the same goals and interests in mind whereas with 3H it’s mostly an exchange of communication about these parts of yourself and they are less as significant in your social life compared to 11H type of friends

12H

Spiritual beings, your religion, spiritual forces, your subconscious mind, artists, creative people, writers, hospital patients, prisoners, monks, religious people, volunteers, dreamers, charities.

12H represents those that can derive what is within their inner secluded world and bring it into reality. It’s associated with empathy, mental/spiritual state, seclusion and the bed. The people here would be those that would retreat, help others and tap into realms beyond the physical)

[driverlando]

🗞️ oh whats that?? Lando norris caught proposing to long term gf in santorini! Get the scoop on who was invited and the large diamond he purchased! PS….she said yes 🫶🥺 congrats btw

EXCLUSIVE: Lando Norris Pops the Question in Santorini! Get All the Details on the Romantic Proposal, Guest List, and the Stunning Diamond Ring!

Love is in the air, and it seems our favourite McLaren driver, Lando Norris, has taken the plunge! The 24-year-old British Formula 1 star was spotted on the picturesque island of Santorini, proposing to his long-term girlfriend in a scene straight out of a fairy tale.

The Romantic Setting

Santorini, with its breathtaking sunsets and stunning caldera views, has long been a favourite destination for romantic escapades. Norris chose this idyllic location to ask the biggest question of his life. Witnesses say the couple looked utterly smitten, with Lando down on one knee against the backdrop of a golden sunset, creating a picture-perfect moment.

The couple has been dating for several years, keeping their relationship relatively low-key amidst the hustle and bustle of F1 fame. However, it seems they couldn’t keep this special moment under wraps, as eagle-eyed fans and locals alike caught glimpses of the magical evening.

The Sparkling Diamond

The talk of the town, however, is the dazzling diamond ring Norris slipped onto his fiancée’s finger. Sources close to the couple reveal that Lando went all out for the special occasion, choosing a stunning, large solitaire diamond set in a classic platinum band. The exquisite piece is said to be worth a small fortune, reflecting both his love and his status as one of F1’s young stars.

Who Was Invited?

While the proposal itself was an intimate affair, Norris and his fiancée were not alone. They were surrounded by a select group of close friends and family who were reportedly in on the secret and there to share in the joy. Among the guests were a few notable names from the racing world, adding a touch of glamour to the occasion.

Sources indicate that the guest list was kept deliberately small to maintain privacy and intimacy. However, with the couple’s wide circle of friends and Lando’s popularity, it’s no surprise that word of the engagement quickly spread. The event was said to be filled with laughter, tears of joy, and a fair share of champagne toasts.

A Look to the Future

The proposal marks a new chapter for Norris, who has quickly become one of the most beloved figures in Formula 1. Known for his cheeky sense of humour and incredible talent on the track, fans are thrilled to see him take this significant step in his personal life.

As the news breaks, congratulations are pouring in from fans, fellow drivers, and celebrities alike. The newly engaged couple has yet to announce any wedding plans, but speculation is already rife about when and where they might tie the knot. Will it be another exotic destination, or perhaps a more traditional ceremony in their native UK? Only time will tell!

For now, the couple is basking in the glow of their engagement, and we can only imagine the excitement building as they plan their future together. One thing’s for sure: if their engagement is anything to go by, the wedding is set to be an affair to remember.

PS: The Answer?

Oh, and in case there was any doubt, she said yes! With such a romantic setting and a beautiful ring, how could she not?

Stay tuned for more exclusive updates and inside scoops on this developing love story. From the racetrack to romance, Lando Norris proves he’s a champion in more ways than one!

[vershl]

Okay I think I made y'all wait long enough LOL

SORRY THEY'RE ALL UNCLOTHED BTW, I HAVENT FIGURED OUT OUTFITS YET- 💀

I don't really have a lot to share tbh in terms of lore/plans. This AU is very VERY fresh in my brain atm. But I will fill in some details for you guys so you somewhat/mostly understand the current characters I have for now.

---

Shadow

He is a red diamond (ultimate lifeform yada yada), and as stated, a "blood" diamond. I mean this somewhat in modern terms, but not entirely. In real life, diamonds mined in a war zone and sold to fund the costs, hence "blood". In this case; Shadow was created by the other diamonds (primarily white) as a weapon, the plan was to have a gem on equal footing in terms of strength and power that they could order around to do their bidding and do their dirty work.

Clearly, that didn't work out the way they wanted. Shadow pretended to be obedient, following white, and the other diamond's orders. He shattered other gems for whatever reason the diamonds deemed fit (among other things I haven't decided on yet), only doing so to avoid the risk of being deemed defective and shattered himself, or the gem being shattered regardless by someone else.. he at least knew he could give them a swift end without pain.

Once Shadow gained the diamonds trust to wander around as he pleased, the moment no one was looking, he stole a ship and left Homeworld. Going as far as he could into the universe until he found Mobius and crash landed there. It wasn't very long before Sonic found him, and eventually became allies, inviting Shadow into the Crystal Gems, to which he accepted, and chose the name 'Shadow'. He didn't want to be called 'Red' or 'Red Diamond' anymore. He was free now. (This is as far as I got with him, sorry y'all HAHA)

Sonic

Sonic is a yellow prism in the shape of an isotoxal star (the yellow is a nod to super Sonic). In my AU, because offical SU lore with gems is relatively limited, different colored gems even if of the same type, give different abilities/powers. In Sonic's case, yellow prisms give the ability of super speed, because of course, and he chose his name based on that fact as well.

Lore wise with Sonic-- He's the leader of the Crystal Gems (makes more sense considering the CG's signature symbol is a yellow star, so I just ran with that but changed the normal star to the isotoxal). But that's all I have for him.

the rest of these characters have 0 lore at all, i will just try to explain their gems a bit- sorry

Amy

Amy is a Mimetite, a heart stone which helps with emotional stability, inner balance, serenity, joy, and adventure (according to google). Because Amy is basically canonically that 'therapy' friend, mimetite fits perfectly with her personality. As you can see, there are only a few designs that have weapons currently, Amy's being obvious because it's her signature weapon and just works here in the AU as well.

Tails

Tails is a yellow peridot, it's obvious why, and I don't need to elaborate LOL. There isn't much different between peridot colors, it's more-so personality traits than abilities. Green peridots are quite egotistical and arrogant in themselves, while yellow peridots are more adventurous and selfless.

Knuckles

Sorry for his naked hands btw. Honestly, I don't think I have to explain why Knuckles is a garnet. It just tracks. (Reminder that in the show, Garnet isn't a real garnet, it's just what she decided to call herself. In this case, Knuckles IS a real garnet.) Is his signature gem weapon gauntlets/gloves, yes. Did I steal the idea from Garnet? Shut up. :] Besides, Knuckles needed his usual gloves somehow, and he fights by punching shit anyway, so why not? Star on the back of the gloves ofc for obvious reasons.

Rouge

GOD this stupid bat bitch, aaaanyway, ahem. In my AU beryls are information gatherers, either by stealing it or manipulating their way into obtaining it. Beryls are generally under diamond control and report back to their assigned diamond with information they demand for, obviously Rouge is part of the Crystal Gems, so she gathers information for them. And more often than not...is her usual self, and snoops around, digging up dirty secrets/information about her comrades and teases them to no end with it (Shadow being her favorite to torment for... reasons.)

Silver

I chose Silver to be a sapphire simply because of the fact that in the Sonic universe, he can time travel. So instead of time travel in this Steven Universe AU, he gets future vision. I mean it works, right?

Blaze

We can talk about her gem right.. right? It's really tasty and I want to eat it. So; opals are very, VERY rare (which fits with her whole being a princess thing or whatever). She was originally going to be a fire opal... that is until I found out about dragon's breath opals and changed my mind. Blaze is an absurdly rare gem, who knows, maybe even the only one of her cut. :]

Her gem gives her the ability to control fire as a weapon, and her unique cut gives her fire more power as well as makes the flames an unusual pinkish hue.

---

And that's everyone for now! I'm doing some little doodles that I might post a bit later on to compile together, but you can have the two I made of Shadow for now. eats him

[sasaranurude]

Okay. I've been playing Tokyo Debunker today, since the release happened to catch me on a day when all I'd planned to do was write fanfiction. I just finished reading the game story prologue (it was longer than expected!), so here's a review type post. If you're reading this post not having seen a single thing about this game: it's a story-based joseimuke gacha mobile game that just released globally today. It's about a girl who suddenly finds herself attending a magic school and mingling with elite, superhuman students known as ghouls. If you look in the tumblr tag for the game you'll see what appears to be a completely different game from 2019 or so: they retooled it completely midway through development, changing just about everything about it due to "escalating competition within the gaming industry."

I'll talk about how this looks like a blatant twst clone at the end.

Starting with the positive: The story is charming. I enjoyed it thoroughly the entire time and am excited to read more. The mix between visual novel segments and motion comics was really nice--it broke things up and added a lot of oomph to the action or atmospheric scenes that visual novels generally lack. I like the art in the comic parts a lot. the live2d in the visual novel parts is... passable. Tone-wise, I think the story was a little bit all over the place and would like to see more of the horror that it opened on, but I didn't mind the comedic direction it went in either. The translation is completely seamless. The characters so far all have unique voices and are just super fun and cute. Of the ones who've had larger roles in the story so far, there's not a single one I dislike. It's all fully voiced in Japanese and the acting is solid. (I don't recognize any voices, and can't seem to find any seiyuu credits, so it seems they're not big names, but they deliver nonetheless.) Kaito in particular I found I was laughing at his lines a ton, both the voicing and the writing.

He's looking for a girlfriend btw. Spreading the word.

The problem is like. The gameplay is the worst dark-pattern microtransaction-riddled bullshit I've ever seen. Hundred passive timers going at all times. Fifty different item-currencies. Trying to get you to spend absurd amounts of real world money at every turn. There's like five different indicators that take you to various real-money shop items that I don't know how to dismiss the indicator, I guess you just have to spend money, wtaf. Bajillion different interlocking systems mean you have zero sense of relative value of all the different item-currencies. I did over the course of the day get enough diamonds for one ten-pull, which I haven't used yet. Buying enough diamonds for a ten-pull costs a bit under $60 (presumably USD, but there's a chance the interface is automatically making that CAD for me--not gonna spend the money to check lmfao), with an SSR rate of 1%. BULLSHIIIIIT.

There's like a goddamn thousand-word essay explaining the dozen different types of character upgrades and equippables and equippables for the equippables!! Bad! Bad game design! That's just overcomplicating bullshit to trick people into thinking they're doing something other than clicking button to make number go up! That is not gameplay!

In terms of the actual gameplay, there is none. The battle system is full auto. There might be teambuilding, but from what I've seen so far, most of that consists of hoping you pull good cards from gacha and then clicking button to make number go up. There's occasional rhythm segments but there's no original music, it's just remixes of public domain classical music lmao. I'd describe the rhythm gameplay as "at least more engaging than twisted wonderland's," which is not a high bar

At least there's a cat in the rhythm bit.

And like, ok, I gotta remark on how derivative it is. Like I mentioned in my post earlier, this game is unabashedly aping twisted wonderland's setting and aesthetic. (That said, most of the stuff it steals from twst is magic school stuff that twst also basically stole from Harry Potter, so...?) However, it isn't exactly like twst: in this one, the characters say fuck a lot and bleed all over the place and do violence. Basically, the tone is a fair bit more adult than twst's kid-friendly vibe. (Not, like, adult adult, and I probably wouldn't even call it dark--it's still rated Teen lol. Just more adult than twst.)

Rather than just being students at magic school, the ghouls also go out into the mundane world to go on missions where they fight and investigate monsters and cryptids. Honestly, the magic school setting feels pretty tacked-on. The things that are enjoyable about this would've been just as enjoyable in about any other setting--you can tell this whole aspect was a late trend-chasing addition, lmao. So, yeah, it's blatantly copying twst to try to steal some players, but... Eh, I found myself not caring that much. Someone more (or less) into twst than me may find it grating.

Character-wise, eh, sure, yeah, they're a bit derivative in that aspect too, but it's a joseimuke game, the characters are always derivative. Thus far the writing & execution has been solid enough that I didn't care if they were tropey. If I were to compare it to something else, I'd say the relationship between the protagonist and the ghouls feels more like that of the sage and wizards in mahoyaku than anything from twst. There's some mystery in exactly what "ghouls" are and their place in this world that has me intrigued and wanting to know more about this setting and how each of the characters feels about it. I have a bad habit of getting my hopes up for stories that put big ideas on the table and then being disappointed when they don't follow through in a way that lives up to my expectations, though.

So, my final verdict: I kind of just hope someone uploads all the story segments right onto youtube so nobody has to deal with the dogshit predatory game to get the genuinely decent story lol. Give it a play just for the story if you have faith in your ability to resist dark patterns. Avoid at all costs if you know you're vulnerable to gacha, microtransactions, or timesinks.

[littlepuddingsworld]

Okay, this is going to sound insane, but please hear me out.

In the 19th century, there were doctors who specialised in curing "female hysteria", which was often just misdiagnosed sexual frustration (Whenever women were too out of control for men to handle, it was diagnosed as hysteria. So it was basically anything, sexual frustration included...). The cure was fingering...yeah. It was relatively normalised to, as a doctor, finger someone's wife...quite a way to make a living. There was basically a handbook written in Latin about how you do it (oil up your hand, insert here, there will be muscle contraction, the lady in question will breathe heavily before ultimately having a hysteria paroxysm (this is a former medical term for orgasms btw)). Obviously, there were mixed opinions about giving another man's wife an orgasm, however, the Catholic doctors concluded that it cannot have been sexual, since there was no penetration. "It's our duty as doctors to cure these poor women of their hysteria, Sir 🫡"

FUN FACT: Since some doctors would experience wrist pain from the...hard manual labour, they invented a device that does it for them: The vibrator. When the vibrator was first used in pornography, the doctors said NOPE and left their profession behind. In 2011, there was a period romcom made about this called Hysteria. It's not even that bad, unironically. Oh and by the way, the name hysteria is derived from the Greek word hystera, meaning uterus, hence why only women were diagnosed with hysteria.

Anyway, getting to my point:

Imagine a yandere thinking that you're being incredibly hysterical, emotional, out of control and then proceeding to sit you down and curing you of your hysteria the old-fashioned way...

They either do it knowingly, or are just too oblivious to even realise that what they are doing is...not quite the correct solution for the problems they caused you in the first place...

Just wanted to share this with someone...take it as you will...

,,, to be honest, I knew about the hysteria, but I didn't know about the fact that a vibrator was created that way,,,, sexy big brain<3333 i love your words so much, mercury kissed you at birth,,,, very brainy, very many cerebral convolutions, I love it,,, come here to kith kith pretty pie—

𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄

your husband is so sweet, so adorable — especially when he's on his knees in front of you, purring something about how he should help you, as if it's not his personal fault that you feel like this.

... ♡ unhealthy relationship, misconception of the century / time, hierarchical society, mild sexism? (more classism?), mild maledom elements, mention of religion, forced marriage implied, male pregnancy mentioned because no pregnant reader, unethical treatment methods?; doctor!noble!husband x darling!reader

dubious consent (dubcon) -> consensual sex, crying, mild sadism/masochism, mention of degradation (g.), hair pulling (g.), oral sex (r.), mild fingering (r.), praise (r.)

If THEODORE had been told that he was "mistreating his darling spouse", he would have

agreed.

It was logical: if he treated you well, then would you enter into a frenzy of emotions, scream and look as if you were about to faint before falling at a table made of pleasantly smelling wood, — Theodore knew that you love this variety; almost all tables, chairs and other wooden utensils was of this sort, — completely exhausted, unable even to drive away your narrow-minded husband, only waving a fragile palm in his direction, as if desperate, while he took your fan, straight from the hands of the best chinese craftsmen, and gently fanned you, letting you hang head? Of course not.

You, his breathtaking spouse, were so touching and gentle, full of spring charm and a few drops of exquisite, expensive coquetry, like the first flowers in spring — delicate, almost transparent, not at all like the luxury of scarlet roses that gardeners grow every season, or the exuberant scent of lilac and juniper, especially in July. Not at all. Your charm was subtle, unique, corresponding to the rumbling of the first rivers or the first drop falling from the roofs after the melting of the snow. You have never been a socialite — never; parents were rich enough to support you and your siblings, but not rich enough to live in idleness and not worry about money.

You were introduced at the first ball and attended others from time to time, but most of the time you couldn't afford to walk around with "old dresses", not wanting to be considered poor or shame family by not being able to buy new clothes. Theodore understood perfectly well — being from a not-so-rich family, somehow coping with this whole world, you simply could not afford to live bohemian, expensive and shameless out of fear that money was too little, as if you did not even think that you could just marry someone rich and sponsor with their help your family. Theodore didn't blame, having heard about you for the first time from the mouths of other dandies who follow every new "coquette fan", more than an eloquent sign of finding a partner, though; "too conscientious and didn't understand how this world works" or just a prude,

but now, he understands that you just knew your worth and waited for someone like

him.

After all, in a world where divorce can only happen after death, and infidelity is punished by an enraged spouse with a knife, how could you easily marry someone? You were so alluring, like ripe peaches filled with juice — naturally, not everyone can and should touch your delicate, perfumed hands and caress skin so soft that no overseas silk can compare.

Theodore was sure that there were words about you: "If the cost of their kiss was hell, // then I will kiss their lips, // so that in hell I can brag to the devils // that I was in heaven without even entering it." Because you were paradise, it didn't matter if you smiled, cried or screamed — or were "not a couple who deserved," but only because you could have become the monarch's spouse right away, but he found you earlier.

He had no doubt that you were special — definitely to him. Therefore, he did not think long before he came to your parents to take you to his estate, in the sweetly itchy haste of first and only love, kissing your hands and touching the slightly trembling fan with thin fingers while you looked down in frightened amazement, while your parents confusedly exchanged glances, not understanding why he came to "court you". Theodore did not ask if you had someone — after all, if you had, you would rather slit your throat than let another touch your thin fingers, because he would have done exactly the same in your place if he were still a dependent young man (now, of course, he was not — having studied at a very prestigious university, where his parents also studied, he was more than an enviable independent bachelor and knew it). And if earlier he was afraid that, what if!, was not "normal", then when saw you, he knew that he had been waiting for you all this time — and you were undoubtedly waiting for him too.

If, in order to be with you, he had to refuse the sky, the sun and the moon, he would do it without hesitation. This is love — Theodore had no doubt that you yourself understand this.

Your parents, however, soon dispelled his prejudices. You didn't just "didn't understand it" — you weren't like that, but Theodore, hesitating only for a few seconds, realized that you just weren't like everyone else. While others were blinded by love, like him, you couldn't be like that — you just didn't understand it, didn't feel like that, and your parents were only afraid that your "defect" in the marriage market would make you lonely for the rest of days.

Theodore, however, did not think so: you were the same age as him, he was childless, unmarried, rich and educated, had an estate with intelligent and trained servants, good sources of income, a lot of free time, did not have the habit of drinking a lot of alcohol or tobacco, — and the fact that you were allegedly "not sensual enough" was, of course, stupidity. He wasn't going to use the fact that you can't pick up a knife to kill an unfaithful spouse! And I wasn't going to cheat! He won't do any harm! Yes, you may be a little... very very little defective-ish, but isn't love blind? He will accept you at any cost, even with such a... 'setback'.

... Of course, it is wrong and even abnormal that you cannot kill someone who is cheating on you, and are not ready to die just to be with someone you love, and that it is wild for you to give up everything for your beloved... But Theodore understands that you are already too perfect, and it's okay to have flaws. He's not thirteen anymore.

As long as this is not passed on to children, everything will be fine, please, don't worry, ma joie, — he gently whispers to you, touching gloved fingers, stroking fingers gently, looking into your very happy face ? — I'll accept you for who you are, even with this. With everything. Because you and I, being whole by ourselves, become more than just "ourselves" together.

And it was true, don't get him wrong! His pedigree was good, he was, uh, "thoroughbred," and his family tree was beautiful, worthy of your hand. Theodore was not self-confident, but he was confident, buying everything you want, not walking through salons and entertainment houses and not being in any dubious circles, his entourage was only intelligent people who had an education and could both write and read, and not in two languages, and there was no one in his circle someone of the same gender, and he wasn't squeamish or suspicious. After all, what else can you worry about? But you were worried. Over time, it's even a little noisy.

You shouted, sometimes threw yourself, behaved strangely, as if he was not a refined learned man who was your shadow and wrote poetry to you, not forcing you to do anything even after your approved marriage, but a brute or an invader. Did he take you away without permission? Perhaps using his status in society to a little and influence your parents with children who have not yet appeared to the beau monde, and used a little influence to convince these people that he will help your siblings in the future to find a better match than they can now count on — but then why does he need it: status, influence, reputation, — if he can't even convince his love to stay with him? Otherwise, you can't blame—

... Oh wait.

You can.

Theodore realizes with annoyance, sitting hs office with a book in hands, writing notes in diary, and adjusts his glasses: he had completely forgotten — you're "not like that." You're different. Your parents told him. You understand love differently, you look at your partner differently, you cannot understand the concept of love itself... Theodore used to think that they just raised you wrong, but now he understands what they meant: that the feelings that ordinary people spend on a partner, you leave inside, letting them accumulate, and when you realize that you can no longer, you emotionally explode and behave as if something is wrong with him or you — it's obvious! You just can't do it any other way! Of course, why else would you be unhappy with your situation? After all, it's natural that your family hardly communicates with you or that you can't spend a lot of time outside the house — everyone lives like that, except the unmarried! You just don't understand it!

Because you are so emotional, so sensitive, so responsive, that, naturally, you need special care and care, and not a sidelong glance from your husband, who behaved so coldly, only supporting, but not helping you in any way! After all, he studied at the best university, was one of the best students, even had an internship and, of course, corresponded with his comrades, learning new ways to deal with diseases and disorders. After all, what kind of "good husband" is he if he can't even help his gentle, easily excitable spouse cope with their, he's not afraid of that word, illness?

You just don't understand...

“... Darling, we need to make one thing.”

You are gentle, soft, not submissive — both in clothes and under them, and although you may consider him a little pathetic when he whispers it to you, burying cold nose in your thigh like a lost dog, but after shouting and throwing things, you are no longer so full of destructive energy. Holding him tightly by the hair, you look down with pursed lips, but do not answer anything — and in expensive clothes, with jewelry, sleek and clearly not deprived of the love and affection of a bohemian husband, you look like a deity that descended from heaven.

Theodore knows that he must decontaminate for sure, but what can a spouse hide from a spouse, right? After all, you are more than a "single whole", especially when he is sitting on his lap, no problem as long as you are sitting on a chair made of your favorite wood, soft and comfortable enough, allowing him to carefully get rid of excess clothes without disgrace, looking at how thin lips touch your skin in a respectfully pious way.

Even your heavy breathing from the outburst of emotions sounds like music that should be played in the church if they want the heavenly ambassadors to descend.

Is he too "sugary"?

No, he's just a realist.

“Darling, please...”

You don't push away even when fingers gently touch your thighs like feathers, just frowning a little harder. But not by pushing it away. You are smart, you always have been, and, of course, you yourself understand that you are sick, and only he, as your husband and doctor, can help you. It's natural. Why do you need another men- or women- another doctor? How dare someone else touch you? Only you can touch him and only he can touch you. He's yours — a husband, a doctor, anyone. As soon as you become healthier, he will definitely be your lover — and maybe one day you will take a child or will he carry it. After all, how dare he sleep with you and use you, so gentle and airy, like a messenger from heaven, while you are so deeply ill, not even really knowing what love is and how to react to it?

“Darling... It's just a little help. Just say the word and we'll stop anytime. I don't want to harm my spouse, you know... Besides, you can always stop me by force.”

You yourself spread your warm, soft, almost plush thighs while he meekly looks up from the bottom, trying to unobtrusively encourage you to let him just look a little. Theodore was not an expert on issues related to sex life or the influence of genitals on human behavior, — although, undoubtedly!, it was important, but he preferred less dirty things, — but now, kneeling in front of you on a soft carpet, stroking your skin, it did not seem something vile or dirty, animal, but for some reason pleasant and... airy-natural; the very sight made him want not to wince and turn away, but not to look away, even when you pull his hair harder, frowning, clearly not too willing to continue this, but it's better than if he drags you to someone else.

You knew yourself that your husband sometimes got too involved with the human body in a not too, uh, "harmless" sense, but it was never dangerous or illegal, unless against the law of god, so you let him correspond with 'friends' and 'colleagues', studying new diseases and learning more about experience and practice. But if you knew that one day you would be the subject of research, you would definitely throw his ink and letters into the fireplace — along with other things.

“Mi único... I want to help... Do you know what hysteria is? This is when a darling behaves very much... emotionally because of the internal tension. And so we have recently come up with a... new way to deal with similar diseases. It can help our marriage... Te quaeso?”

Theodore is not an idiot; rather, he feels like a trainer or a tamer, gently pushing and touching, without making any sudden movements while you look at him, gradually relaxing the tense body, letting his fingers, slightly slippery from oil and disinfectants, touch the delicate skin of the inner thigh, massaging and stroking, not hurrying. He doesn't have much experience — practically none, you never shared a bed even after the "wedding night", — but there is enough theory and ideas how to use it, especially when thin, slightly cool fingers slowly touch the skin under stomach, stroke as lightly as possible along a sensitive line, kissing with warmed lips the skin. If he could, he'd love to just open his mouth and eat you, or at least nibble — but he's not the type who eats his darling and then walks around saddened widowers and widows without the opportunity to remarry, he's a more sophisticated type and definitely not that creepy, even if the way you are you pull his hair as fingers gently circle around, rubbing and stroking, using precum for better contact, makes his eyes water and his mouth open slightly, breathing, feeling too ambiguous even for a "husband", let alone the role of the "doctor" in which he was.

“Please... d-darling...” He chirps something slightly hoarsely, stroking, caressing, breathing every other time, as if you are holding not by the hair, but by the throat; when his fingers tremble slightly, you hiss, making him blush slightly shamefacedly, as if from your swearing, — but he tries not to break the rhythm, ignoring, as befits a refined well-mannered husband. Do well-mannered husbands use their fingers on their spouses? Theodore doesn't have that much experience to respond, especially when you flinch slightly, curling your toes, — and he wants to bite just to remove this strange shameful, almost perverted feeling of a mixture of lust and guilt inside, clearly not too approved by religion, but when you start breathing shallowly and harder, closing your eyes, Theodore moves his fingers faster, watching your face.

Is that right? You don't hold him so tightly, but don't take your hand away, and his fingers are so slippery and wet that he's almost ashamed, as if it's all his juices, and he definitely should at least look away, but this is scientific curiosity, just curiosity, even when he changes his position, sinking lower shamelessly, feeling himself for a moment, it really was some kind of fallen man from entertainment houses, with an implicit gurgling feeling in the lower abdomen, listening only to your breathing and slightly squelching sounds. Theodore hardly breathes, looking at his fingers, trying for a moment to distract himself with the fleeting thought "good that cut nails" — but when your... your bare foot touches his shoulder, it seems so perversely seeing your calves that he does not know where to look — freezing for a moment, his eyes are drawn only to you, even if it looks so... sweetly vulgar, completely wrong, — but you're already married, so it's okay even if you're not like that, right? It's okay when he sees something below your neck and bare arms, it's okay when you squeeze his hair tightly again, it's okay when he hears your hot, loud breathing, as if you're breathing directly into his red ears, although he can't even look up from the way you're holding him.

Your fingers are strong, dexterous, squeezing his strands so hard that he can't move anywhere, but for some reason he is too pleased with this than he should be, even when Theodore feels like you are pushing him even closer shamelessly, as if he is not your, actually, noble and high-minded husband, who is now plays the role of your doctor, helping you with your "hysteria", but some kind of fun boy!

Outrageous!

“D-darl-!~”

You hiss something, almost growl — and pull too hard, forcing Theodore to briefly let out a distant sigh without resistance — and obediently open his mouth, hastily removing his fingers so as not to interfere before he finds a new, more comfortable place. His eyes are slightly watering from the mild pain, but when he does not see a shadow of the old irritation or anger in your face, he obediently sticks out the tip of his red tongue, not trying to shirk his doctoral duties — or is this already a marital duty? Theodore doesn't know, he's not sure, — especially when you hold him even tighter, not listening to what he says, knowing that if he really was "against it", he would have already got out, and not looked at you like a fawn at a hunter, as if it wasn't because of him that you were here, with legs spread apart and heavy breathing from the heaviness in the lower abdomen.

Is this really what he was taught at university?

A boy for fun.

The corners of your husband's eyes turn red, but he does not try to say anything or justify himself, — why should he? — making inarticulate sounds, but only moving his head, hesitantly holding your hips as much as he could do it respectfully and unobtrusively; after all, he is a learned man, even if he was kneeling like some kind of animal or a slave.

When Theodore awkwardly, clumsily moves his tongue, trying to make sure that you feel good, for some reason the world feels much brighter and sharper, — especially when the heat gets stronger, making you tremble slightly, feeling a wide tongue and thin flexible fingers, as if they are perfect only for this, but there is less air in your lungs than you need to continue dirty deservedly whisper to him how low he has sunk, from his 'writing letters to the best doctors he studied with' to kneeling in front of his spouse.

It's not that you're going to stop him or let him change his position, of course, but just force him to continue doing what he's good for, while he's almost meowing, almost purring, not trying to pull away anymore.

... It's not that he's wrong, though.

You definitely feel better after a little therapy.

[tacit-semantics]

hey, apologies if this is an unwanted question, but do you have any tips on finding resources for learning bobbin lace? I’ve started learning myself, but I’m struggling to expand beyond a torchon ground bookmark, and to understand clean color + pattern changes, if that makes sense. Love your comic panel piece btw!!

Oh hey, not unwanted at all! I love answering questions like these!! Anyways in a move that is sure to surprise everyone, I got excited and this got a little long so under the cut we go

Anyways first off- cannot recommend Jo edkins’ site enough. Fantastic instructions, info on different styles, grounds, stitches, etcetera, and there are these animated demonstrations of a lot of the stitches that really helped them click for me :) anyways this is where I did (and do!) the bulk of my learning, in no small part because it’s also free sjsjjs

Bookwise, my favorite is Lessons in Bobbin Lacemaking by Doris southard. Relatively easy to find, and there are a lot of patterns for strips/edgings in there that you can copy over. My version’s also printed on this really nice thick paper which is not immediately relevant but I DO consider it a plus

I’ve also used The Torchon Lace Workbook by Bridget M. Cook with some success, though I did find the process of copying the patterns over a little more difficult with this one. The patterns themselves are very nice though, and while I went into this one already knowing how to work Torchon, from the looks of it the introductory section is pretty solid, and there’s lots of fun color stuff going on in the patterns

Anyways you’ll probably notice that this is mostly torchon stuff- that would be because as of right now, I mostly make torchon stuff and it’s also a very very good starting point. Now, as for finding resources on your own: antique pattern library my beloved. Light of my life. Anyways, this is all public domain stuff which historically I find a little more difficult to use in terms of actually learning how to do things; the text tends to be very small and I struggle to parse the illustrations, but a)that might not hold true for you aksjsj and b) once you’ve got a general idea of how things work there’s a whole wealth of patterns right there!! All free!!!! Antique pattern library I love you. Anyways going to internet archive and searching bobbin lace is also always a very good bet, and similarly accessible. This is generally what I do when I want to find info on something either without spending money, or if I know there’s not going to be a lot of more modern books on it, like for filet lace

Now, back when I first started, I also used lynxlace a lot which was a site dedicated to the making of various kinds of lace- unfortunately it seems as though the site itself is no longer available, but it’s still accessible through the wayback machine. This site often references the owner’s book- I haven’t read that and I’m not sure if it’s still available, but if you find that the way the free lessons are presented works for you, then that might be worth looking into. This site also has a resources section linking to other sites/books- as a general rule that’s also a fantastic way to find more, well. Resources aksjsj. Honestly, I’d recommend checking if all of the books/websites that you like have a resources/works cited/other books section or something equivalent. Following any links will probably require liberal use of the wayback machine, but it really is worth it if you wanna build up a bigger resource base :)

Anyways, I hope this helps!! My more general advice is to just have fun with it which I suppose seems a little obvious?? But it can get very very easy to get caught up in the specifics, and especially with something as fiddly as lace. Dont be afraid to experiment!! Try what sounds interesting!! I wish you the best of luck with your projects, and also I’m very glad you liked the comic panel piece I loved making that sksjsj that was so much fun

[decepti-thots]

Sometimes I have to remind myself that a lot of people in fact have not read/skipped the prose stories in IDW, so for what it's worth, I think any discussion of pre-Overlord Drift-Rodimus dynamics needs to consider this specific scene from the post-RiL one. I am passionate enough about this I'm putting it below the cut, though I have the whole story hosted here btw. It establishes a few really important things, IMO:

What I just discussed regarding Rodimus having voluntarily brought Overlord onto the ship, against Drift's wishes

Him attempting to prevent Drift from taking the fall because he knows it's his fault, and Drift being the one to tell him no about this

The revelation Drift was keeping his motivation for putting Rodimus in charge a secret from Rodimus, which he only explains before leaving

Drift being clear he did not take the fall to help Rodimus per se, but because he considers it the necessary thing to do as per his vision, which is ultimately the most important thing to him period

That's a LOT of stuff without which the dynamic does not read at all the same way going forward, IMO. Basically any discussion of those two in s1 should really take it into consideration in terms of both sides' motivations, especially regarding Drift's motivations in keeping Rodimus content and in charge no matter what he said or did, and Rodimus' relative ignorance of said motivations.

****

As Rodimus stepped into his office he shielded his eyes—literally put his hand to his face—to avoid catching sight of the flames he’d had painted around the doorframe. As soon as he’d sorted out the current mess he’d ask Atomizer to help him redecorate. No more fire-rimmed entrances, garish pink walls or self-aggrandizing plaques: just a desk, a chair, some subdued lighting and a memorial to crewmembers killed by sparkeater, Legislator, or Overlord.

Overlord.

When his guard was down—when he wasn’t showing off or doodling or spray-painting—the name made him think of the people who had died or lost loved ones because he’d been too scared to say no to Prowl. Overlord made him think of Pipes and Rewind and Chromedome and Lockstock and Lancet, but one face—Drift’s face—kept crowding out all the others. It had been here, in his office, that they’d had their last proper conversation.

“An inquiry?” Drift stood in the doorway, looking incredulous. “An inquiry?”

Rodimus dragged him inside and locked the door. “I had to do something! People were asking questions! And what do you do if you want to stall things? You launch an inquiry.” He slumped into his chair. “An inquiry into something I’m responsible for. Oh god. Oh god, I feel sick. I’ve messed up big time.”

“I can sort this out, Rodimus. Honestly, I can fix this.”

“This is my fault, not yours. We were standing in Prowl’s office, and he was trying to convince me that bringing Overlord onboard was ‘right and proper’, and you called me an idiot for even considering it.”

“Was I that blunt?”

“I don’t know why he even let you in on those discussions in the first place. It’s not like he trusts you.”

“I’ll tell you exactly why he wanted me there: it was in case something like this happened. Need a scapegoat? Get an ex-Decepticon.”

“Well it’s not gonna happen. I’m taking the fall for this one. Your name doesn’t have to come into it. It’s taken you years to win back people’s trust, and you’re not throwing it all away on my behalf.”

“Rodimus, if you tell the crew what you’ve done, then that’s it. The quest’s over. We’ll never find the Knights.”

“No, it just means someone else will take over. You, maybe? Ratchet? I dunno. Someone.”

“But someone doesn’t take over!” Rodimus looked up sharply. “’Doesn’t’?”

“Won’t.”

“You said ‘doesn’t.’ What d’you mean, ‘doesn’t’?”

“It’s hard to explain what I mean.” Drift unclipped his Great Sword and placed it on the desk. “You remember when I nearly died, back on Cybertron? I was within feet of Vector Sigma.”

“Yes…” said Rodimus slowly, unsure where this was going.

“When I put this sword through my spark, I saw something.”

“What, like a vision?”

“Kind of. More a sense of how things would play out. It was abstract and it was fleeting, and every time I call it to mind it becomes harder to interpret, but something is around the corner, Rodimus—and a year from now, or 50 years from now, that something will arrive, and we won’t be able to stop it unless we find the Knights. And I don’t care if you think, ‘Oh, that’s just Drift being Drift,’ because I’m convinced that you need to remain in charge. People can come and go—they can die—but you have to be here, otherwise we will fail. And so the simple solution—the only solution—is that I take the blame for this.”

“I won’t let you do this for me.”

“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for everyone else.”

[itsjustrosee]

hiiii idk really what to call you bc yeah anyways i have a request fir u but feel free to take ur time with it idm at all seeing as ur blog is relatively new and u probably have a bunch of asks and stuff because ur first two fics were absolute masterpieces like literally anyways im rambling im so sorry uh

(u can skip that part) So my request is basically where minho and fem!reader are really good friends and shes like a track-hoe and basically has a really flirty personality so she flirts with all her friends and minho always gets flustered uh or something like that and one time he sees her flirting with idk one of the gladers and he gets jealous thinking that shes dating (said glader) and then she confronts him about it and they kiss and live happily ever after :D

sorry this is super long and confusing dont rush to do it take ur time !!

Ok I'm honestly getting so impressed with these requests, they are so thought out and unique and I'm literally living for it. Btw my name is Rosalyn so feel free to call me that or sometimes I go by rose but address me however you'd like <3 Anyways thank you so much for the request and all of the praise, I appreciate it sm!!

Anyways, this was a super cute prompt idea I absolutely love it, so I hope you enjoy!

JEALOUS (Minho x fem!reader)

Context: pre Thomas, read above for summary ^

Warnings: spice

Word count: 4K

! I proof read but there might still be spelling mistakes !

When you arrived in the glade being a girl, it was quite a surprise for everyone.

Most of the boys tried to be pretty accepting, and after a while, you managed to get along really well with everyone. But if you're being honest, it was all due to your rather, flirty, personality.

That, however, you can't really be blamed for. I mean, you couldn't help it, it was just the way that you were!

It did, however, prove to be a slight problem during your first few months in the glade. You can't blame the rest of the boys for taking your subtle flirty gestures the wrong way, if you were them, you'd probably take the things that you said the wrong way too. So by no means was it their fault for thinking you liked them. But unfortunately, you never reciprocated their feelings, which only confused them more.

Anyways, the first person to understand this was Newt. He was always okay with your overly friendly personality and never actually got the wrong idea from you. That's probably why he became your first friend in the glade, and why when he said you should become a track hoe, you accepted his offer immediately. He, along with the rest of the track hoes' were rather chill and you enjoyed spending time with all of them.

You would consider yourself the closest with them out of all the other people in the glade, so you often hung out with them during the bonfires and dinner. However, you were relatively close with just about every boy in the glade, given your personality, but regardless, you naturally gravitated towards everyone.

It took a couple months for everyone to come to terms with your behavior and rather flirtatious personality, so after about five months, everything was going pretty smoothly. Under the given circumstances and all. Being trapped in a maze was by no means easy, but you were making the most of it. You had developed a good daily routine, and you can only imagine without the structure you and the other gladers had built for themselves, you all would've gone mad by now.

Part of your routine was waking up early. Alby had made Gally and the other builders build you a hut for obvious reasons, and Gally was happy to do it if it meant getting on your good side. You enjoyed the privacy from the rest of the boys but since you had a hut, you had a bed. A bed that was impossible for you to force yourself out of in the morning. After a couple weeks though, you got into the right mindset and started waking up right when the sun started peaking over the maze walls.

You woke up early so you could get a head start with some of the work in the garden. This meant you just spent a bit of extra time plucking out weeds and getting extra fertilizer from the deadheads. You did this to lightly the load that you and the rest of the track hoes' had to do, and you also did it because you just enjoyed being productive.

But one of the secret advantages of waking up early to tend to the garden was seeing the runners leave right when the maze doors opened. You took the brief amount of time they had before leaving to talk to them because they were all very busy people, and getting any opportunity to have a quick chat with them mattered to you. Especially because it meant you got to talk to Minho.

You never admitted it to anyone, but Minho was one of the only boys in the glade that you actually felt attracted to. You couldn't quite understand why, but you always felt drawn to him.

Maybe it was because he was held so high by all the gladers, even though none of them were ever able to talk to him because of how busy his schedule was. He was in the maze all day and when he finally returned from a long day of working to find a way out of the maze for himself and everyone else in the glade, he would be in the maze room. He was working, constantly. Which is why you felt special whenever you had the chance to talk to him. Even if it was just for a couple seconds.

Or maybe you liked him because he still got flustered whenever you talked to him. You would always try to be as respectful towards him as possible, but your flirtatiousness always found a way to shine through. And he seemed to be the only boy who hadn't gotten over how flirty you were, even though every other boy knew that that was just the way you were.

Needless to say, you had a pretty big crush on him, one that you tried your hardest to deny. But you really couldn't help it, which is why you chose to become friends with him. You decided to settle with that because you were sure he wasn't interested in being anything more. Even though Newt often tended to think otherwise.

But you still couldn't help but think that it was just so cute how whenever you talked to him he would fumble over his words, or get as red as the tomatoes you were tending to whenever you even touched him.

However, whenever Minho acted all flustered like this, he would curse at himself relentlessly, wondering why he was as awkward as he was whenever he was near you.

The truth is, he had been down horrendously for you the second Alby pulled you out of the box. At first, he chalked it up to you just being the only girl and well, he couldn't exactly remember the last time he had seen one of those. But as the weeks went on, his feelings for you only deepened. He never saw a point in telling you because every boy who confessed his 'love' to you got rejected. Part of that made him feel glad though because he knew that just about none of the boys in the glade were good enough for you, and he felt happy knowing you would never like any of them. But the downside to that was Minho thinking that he would never have a chance with you.

That never stopped him from wanting to talk to you though. He would purposely make sure to stop by the garden to talk to you before he headed into the maze. Whenever you weren't in the garden, he would check the deadheads to see if you were there. Once he found you, he would make some excuse by saying he was just taking a walk in the woods to clear his head before going into the maze.

He really didn't know why talking to you mattered to him so much, but it just did. And today was no different.

You were nealing down next to garden beds that Gally and some of the others had just built. It was a relatively new addition to the garden and you had just finished filling them with soil and fertilizer yesterday. So you were eager to begin planting some of the last remaining seeds that were sent up from the box into the beds.

You could always tell when a month would pass by when you ran out. The box always sent up a certain amount of seedlings and by the time you ran out, a month would pass and the box would come back up, providing you with another month's worth. So as you planted the last seed in the pouch, you knew that in a few hours, a new greenie would appear from the box, symbolizing the start/ end of yet another month in the glade.

You stood up, dusting off your knees as you congratulated yourself on your wonderful planting skills. But your eyes wandered away from the garden and onto Minho, who was now walking your way. Your heartbeat quickened as you saw him. He arrived slightly earlier than normal because you noticed that you hadn't seen any of the other runners with him, but you also knew it would only be a few minutes until they came to join him.

Minho mentally prepared himself while he walked up to you, telling himself that he was going to be normal today, and he wasn't going to start stuttering like an idiot.

At least that's what he tried telling himself as he approached you, clearing his throat, "Hey (Y/N)," Minho said while resting his hands on that runner's vest he always wore on top of his signature blue shirt which complimented each of the defined muscles on his chest.

"Hi, Minho." You said with a smile on your face that couldn't help but make Minho blush. "What brings you out so early? The maze doors don't open for another five minutes don't they?" You questioned. You had gotten pretty good at telling time around the glade, even without a watch like Minho.

"Oh yeah, I just thought that maybe I'd get over here a little earlier," Minho said with an awkward chuckle as he tried to smile back at you.

"Ah, I see," you said before continuing, "Is it cause you wanted to spend a little extra time talking to me?" You said with a giggle, trying to make a little light-hearted joke as you stared up at Minho with puppy dog eyes.

Minho however, did not take this as a joke. He began blushing, hard. "Oh no that's not why- wait no that's not what I meant. Like I love talking to you but that's not why-" Before Minho could continue to embarrass himself further, you cut him off.

"Minho I was just joking." You said with a laugh, trying your best to reassure him because clearly, he was mentally freaking out. You couldn't get over how cute he was when he was like this. You were always so used to seeing him act serious and stoic in every other situation, but whenever it came to you, he was a mess.

"Yeah- right. Of course." Minho said awkwardly, trying his hardest to laugh off the situation. He felt his cheeks heat up as you continued to look at him for a moment while taking off your gardening gloves. He couldn't help but take the time to admire you and the features on your face while you did so.

You had your hair tied into a loose braid that was slung over your shoulder and onto your chest. His eyes glanced up and down your body to see that you were wearing a pair of low-rise jean shorts paired with a V-neck shirt that clung to your curves and exposed your chest slightly.

You noticed his eyes drift to your chest and laughed silently to yourself but didn't say anything else to him. You normally didn't mind having the boys in the glade stare at you because, at this point, it was to be expected. But you couldn't help but feel butterflies in your stomach as Minho looked at you, and you couldn't help but feel happy that you decided to wear this shirt today.

"If it makes you feel any better, I love talking to you too Minho." You joked, even though you definitely meant it. Your voice broke the slightly awkward silence that had filled the air while you put your hand on his bicep. No matter how many times you've made this gesture toward Minho, it never fails to surprise you with how firm his muscles are. It also never failed to make Minho physically stiffen and make his mind go completely blank.

You absentmindedly began softly rubbing Minho's bicep with your thumb. You were genuinely curious about how he had gotten this strong. Was it all the running he did? Did they have weights in the glade that you just didn't know about? You weren't quite too sure what it was but you were loving it.

You snapped out of your thoughts though as you saw the other runners approaching the garden. You looked back up at Minho with a soft smile as you took your hand off of him, "Well I hope you have a good run today Minho." You said while trying to snap him out of whatever trance you'd unknowingly put him in.

"Thanks," Minho said. At least he didn't stutter while getting that out, but then again, he only said one word. But it was a new record nonetheless.

You greeted the other runners with a smile and a wave while Minho's feet stayed planted in front of you, unable to move.

"We'll meet you at the doors Minho." Ben said as he and the others jogged past you and him, snickering at the whole situation.

You stared at him again for another moment, expecting him to move but something in him couldn't. "You should probably catch up with them right?" You ask him, hoping that you didn't just cause the glades best runner to short-circuit just because you touched his bicep.

"Right, yeah- yeah you're right," Minho said while letting out a soft chuckle.

"Be careful alright? I'll talk to you later." You told Minho as you patted him on the back while he began to walk past you.

"Okay yeah. Talk to you later." Minho said, still very flustered about what had just happened. He was still trying to process it all because even though you had been touchy with him before, it was never like this. There was something very different about it this time. He thought about it for the rest of the day while he was running in the maze, and even when he came back and ate dinner.

While Minho was showering before heading to the bonfire, he couldn't help but wonder if you also felt it, if you also felt the same energy in the air that he felt. Or if he was just overthinking an exchange between the both of you that hadn't even lasted more than five minutes.

The truth was that he wasn't the only one whose mind kept racing back to that moment.

You couldn't stop thinking about it either and it was distracting you this entire day. You didn't know what was so different about it this time, but you could feel something shift between you and Minho during that simple exchange. You brushed it off as much as you could and decided to turn your focus on showing the new greenie around.

He seemed to have taken quite a liking to you and was practically following you around 24/7, which you didn't mind too much. He seemed like a sweet kid who was around your age, behaving toward you the same way every other boy had toward you in the glade at one point or another.

As the day continued, the bonfire began and you found a seat with a group of about ten people, the greenie being one of them. He chose the seat right next to you and after a couple drinks, he had his arm around you. In your eyes, it really wasn't that big a deal. You thought it was sweet that he was opening up so soon, and you had to admit he was pretty funny. You couldn't help but laugh at a lot of his jokes.

But Minho wasn't too big a fan of how the new guy clung to you. While everyone gathered at the bonfire he couldn't help but notice how the very obviously drunk boy, had his arm around your shoulder and it was driving him crazy. He had been hearing whispers from the other gladers about how you were going to start dating him and the mere thought of it made Minho's blood boil. Even though all the comments that had been made about you and the greenie were jokes because everyone knew you well enough to know you were just being friendly, Minho didn't know that.

You were in the middle of a conversation with the new guy and the rest of the group when you spotted Minho walking in your direction. At first, you got excited, you had been waiting to talk to Minho this whole day. But then you looked at him and noticed the stern, almost angry expression he had on his face. Your confusion only grew as he stopped right in front of you, his build towering over you as you stared back up at him.

"Hey, can we talk for a second?" Minho said through gritted teeth. The amount of anger in his voice was prominent, and you couldn't lie, it was kind of hot. Minho was not a hot-headed person, so seeing him be anything other than stoic or flustered was new for you.

"Uh sure, is everything alright?" You ask with genuine concern. You didn't know what could've gotten Minho this angry so you were relatively worried.

"Yeah, it's fine. Just- can you come with me?" Minho said quickly, and it was obvious to you that it, whatever 'it' even was, was not fine. You took Minho's hand anyway as he helped you up from your seat.

Everyone in the group was staring at you, just as confused as you were while you told them you'd be back soon. You shot the greenie a wave and you could've sworn you saw Minho roll his eyes and scoff as you did so.

Minho led you to the edge of the deadheads and stopped by a nearby tree. There was silence between the both of you and you were waiting for Minho to say something. When he didn't, you spoke instead, "So what is this all about?"

Minho crossed his arms as he began to reply, you couldn't help but notice fury in his eyes as he spoke, "I should be asking you that."

"What?" You questioned, slightly dumbfounded and slightly confused by Minho's harsh tone. He'd never spoken to you in such a way, so now you were really racking your brain trying to figure out what you could've done to piss him off so much.

"Oh don't pull that oblivious klunk with me (Y/N)." Minho sneered.

"I'm not acting oblivious, I don't know what you're talking about, seriously." You said while putting your hands up in surrender, and it was the truth, you really didn't know what he was talking about.

"I'm talking about you and the greenie. How you guys were all over each other. Are you dating him or something?" Minho spits out, venom and jealousy lacing his words.

You couldn't help but laugh as he said this but you quickly realized he was being serious. "Wait you're kidding, right? Me and the greenie? No Minho he's just a friend." You said in an attempt to reassure him.

"Well, it didn't look like you were just friends. Not by the way he had his arm around you." Minho blurted out.

"Are you getting jealous Minho?" You asked with a grin on your face. Minho stayed silent for a moment after you asked, so you spoke again, "Why would you care anyway? It's not like you like me like that or anything." Annoyance in your voice this time. Who was he to act so pissed off about it if he didn't even like you?

"Who said I didn't?" Minho questioned while staring dead at you.

Now it was your turn to be silent.

"You like me?" You said as you just stared at Minho for a moment longer, wondering if you had really heard him correctly. A sliver of hope surged through you as you thought of the possibility.

Minho quickly realized what he had just said and just stared at you. Did he really just say that? Why did he just say that? His words got stuck in his throat and he stayed quiet.

"Minho answer my question."

"Yes, okay? Yes, I like you. So what if I do? Are you going to reject me the same way you reject every other boy?" Minho asked with genuine curiosity.

Before you or he could say anything else, you kissed him.

You hadn't even realized how long you had been waiting to kiss Minho ever since you laid your eyes on him. But as your lips merged into his perfectly, it all just felt right.

Minho melted into your touch as you wrapped both of your arms around his neck and he pulled you in as he placed both of his arms around your waist. The kiss you both shared was gentle yet passionate as you fell deeper and deeper into his warm embrace.

You pulled away for a moment to look Minho in the eyes, "I like you too Minho." You said with a warm smile that almost made him pass out. Minho's heart melted as he heard those words come out of your mouth. They were what he'd dreamed you you eventually say to him, and he couldn't think of anything else to do at that moment than to kiss you again.

The kiss between the both of you deepened and only became more sloppy and desperate as if the both of you couldn't get enough of each other. You allowed his tongue to enter your mouth and taste every bit of you. You could tell that he must've had some muscle memory from his life before the maze because he definitely knew what he was doing as his tongue wrestled against yours.

Minho pushed you onto a nearby tree and moved one of his hands from your waist and to your ass. You moaned softly into his mouth as he did so and you pushed yourself into him further, which only caused Minho to harden against you.

"Oh, there you guys are. I assumed you guys got everything settled?" Newt asked as he interrupted you and Minho. You both pulled away for the second time, breathlessly, and stared at him for a moment.

"Oh yeah- everythings um, settled. I guess." Minho said while turning around to face Newt. Newt gave you a look and you just gave a thumbs up and an awkward smile back to him.

"Alright well, I just wanted to let you know (Y/N) that the greenie was wondering where you were," Newt said with a smirk while scratching the back of his head.

"Oh, well- just tell him I'm busy or something." You replied hastily. You had waited long enough to let Minho know how you felt and you wanted nothing more than to turn all of your attention back to him now. Minho looked at you and grinned, obviously very pleased with your response.

"Will do," Newt said as he began to walk away and back up to the bonfire to join everyone else. You blushed as you put your hands up to your face and buried your head into Minho's chest.

"God that was so embarrassing." You said, your words muffled in the fabric of Minho's t-shirt.

"Oh come on there's nothing to be embarrassed about. If anything it's good that that shuckin' greenie'll get the message." Minho cooed as he wrapped one arm around your back and used his other hand to stroke your hair. He planted a kiss on your forehead as you took your hands away from your face and wrapped them around Minho's waist. You looked up at him again with a goofy grin on your face, which only made Minho grin at you back, "What, what is it?" He chuckled.

"You never struck me as the jealous type." You stated while tilting your head slightly before continuing, "Not like there's anything wrong with that though."

Minho only smiled back at you and brought his lips to yours once more, holding you in his arms as if he found the one thing that he wanted to hold onto for the rest of his life.

alright yall here is yet another Minho fic

I hope you guys liked it and tysm @minhoshotharness for the request!! It was so fun to write and I hope that you liked what I did with the concept.

plzplzplzplz keep sending me these requests guys, I literally LOVE writing them

[kangals]

ok so here's what we found out from kepler's embark results! buckle up, it's a novel:

to start, i did what i've done for the past 2 embark tests i've sent in, in that when activating the kit i said that my dog was a mixed breed of unknown type, and i opted to not upload a photo beforehand. and like the last 2 times, embark correctly deduced that kep was a purebred collie. so while there's some dna tests out there that definitely suck, i can at least confirm that in my own blind trial, embark got it right 3/3 times. they're great. anyway:

also keeping very in line with being a purebred collie, kep's COI came back at 42% - very high for a typical dog, but dead-on average for a collie. he shares 60% DNA with stellina (despite being on paper second cousins, which should be around 1-2% shared. woe to the collie genepool). he's got a bunch of the same relatives that show up for stellina, which is, again, not surprising. dogs from windcrest, overland, and thistlebrae pop up a lot - if you're familiar with US collie lines, you probably know them.

color traits! kep is confirmed as white-factored, which i was almost certain of based on the pattern of his white markings - you can find more info on it here (referred to as "flashy irish" white) but essentially collies that are white-factored carry the gene for "extreme white" or color-headed white. white is an "incomplete dominant" gene, meaning that one copy affects the dog a little, and two copies affects the dog a lot (remember this term!) two copies of the gene makes the dog almost entirely white (an accepted color in the US, but not the UK/europe i believe), whereas one copy of the gene makes the regular "irish white" markings (the classic white neck ruff and white socks) extend a little further than usual - you'll notice that on kep, his white extends over his shoulders and up to his knees. whereas on stellina (who does not carry the white gene), her white is restricted to her neck, front stockings, and back paws. one of kep's brothers is white, so we knew he likely carried the gene too.

he is confirmed as not a secret merle, though he technically could have been a cryptic/phantom merle - didn't think so, but worth a check.

so all of this is very expected - the health testing is where things get interesting!

embark tests for 265 different genetic health conditions, 4 of which are considered "breed-relevant" for collies: collie eye anomaly (CEA), mdr1 drug sensitivity, degenerative myleopathy (DM), and some immune thing with a long name.

immune thing - clear

DM - clear (not particularly common in collies, but it does show up sometimes and it is a nasty disease)

MDR1 - double copies! this is a recessive gene and kep is mutant/mutant, aka he carries both copies which makes him clinically affected. this is common in collies, as about 60-70% of collies have at least one copy. the good news is this just means we have to avoid/take smaller doses of certain medications and he otherwise shouldn't be impacted by it at all. also his breeder already tested him for this so i already was aware.

CEA - single copy! this is also a recessive gene, which means that kep is not affected/normal-eyed, which is actually pretty uncommon! it's estimated that between 70-85% of collies are affected by CEA (yes, the gene literally called collie eye is common in collies. wow.). i also was already aware of this since he was already tested (worth mentioning that if you buy a collie puppy in the US, a screening by an ophthalmologist to check for CEA is required by the breed club).

and then the plot twist:

embark tells me "oh hey, btw, there's two other genes you should know about"

"your dog has one copy of the gene for accumulating copper toxicosis"

fucking what

so yeah, after a lot of reading into this: there's a gene called ATP7B that's almost exclusively found in labradors, goldens, and dobermans which affects a dog's ability to filter out copper. excessive amounts of copper start to build up in the liver, and if it gets to be too much it can cause liver disease, failure, and neurological problems. remember when we talked about white and white-factored dogs, several thousands words ago? ATP7B is also an incomplete dominant gene - one copy affects the dog a little, two copies affects a lot. kep has one copy, which in theory means he is at no risk, mild risk, or moderate risk of developing copper storage disease in his life. not devastating, but not ideal.

the plot thickens!

kep also tested positive for the gene called ATP7A, which as far as i can tell is like the exact opposite of ATP7B (i know, the names suck). see, ATP7B causes copper to accumulate. but ATP7A has been shown to cause a copper deficiency. it's also incompletely dominant, so one copy impacts a little, and two copies (should) impact a lot - and kep has both copies of ATP7A.

so: kep has one of the "too much copper" genes... but he has also two of the "too few copper" genes. and studies seem to suggest that the two genes have a neutralizing effect on each other if they're both present in one dog - basically, they cancel each other out.

there's a handful of studies looking at the effects of these genes on dogs, but they basically exclusively focus on labradors and dobermans - one UC davis study even suggested that these genes might not even have an effect on other breeds. i could find absolutely no literature about these genes in collies, or even in herding breeds in general. embark helpfully added that they don't have enough data on this gene in other breeds to claim if they had any effect. the genes also appear to be sex-linked, and affect females moreso than males. one study on labradors suggested that although many dogs tested were carriers of ATP7B, few dogs were clinically affected, which would say that perhaps its not uncommon for dogs with only one copy to not be impacted.

(i'm also wondering if perhaps this could be the case for kep - given that he has 2 copies of ATP7A, he had to inherit one from each parent. given that these genes aren't regularly tested for in collies, is it possible that some lines carry them and are just clinically unaffected? it may be entirely incidental.)

so essentially, he does have one gene that may be nothing, or may cause mild-moderate issues as an older adult/senior. he also has two copies of that gene's natural neutralizer, and is male, and comes from clinically unaffected dogs. so... i think in retrospect, it's something to note on his chart and keep an eye on, but the odds seem to be very stacked in the favor of him either not being affected, or having only mild affects later down the line. could be a nothingburger, might be a little-somethingburger, unlikely to be a seriousburger.

that being said: i am VERY glad i decided to do this test! obviously i knew what breed he was, and his breeder had already tested him for the most collie-relevant conditions, so this was done on more of a whim, but it turned up this potentially important result that i now know to investigate. you'll hear a lot about how breeders who just do embark, or pawprints, or etc aren't doing complete genetic testing, because so many of the diseases these tests screen for aren't breed-relevant and lots of other conditions aren't testable. which is true. 265 genes and only 4 are considered for collies! but once in a blue moon, one of those random other genes will indeed flag, as is the case here.

so yeah: very interesting results! breed, COI, relatives, color, and most of the health is exactly as expected. but boy that one little health bit really threw me for a loop.

[thepunkmuppet]

thinking about an alternate season 7 wherein instead of every potential slayer being hunted and then activated, every past slayer gets brought back to life. I don’t really like post-chosen content anyway, but when I do read / look at it the whole slayer academy, everyone’s a slayer thing is really stupid to me ngl 💀

previous slayers, though… nikki wood and xin rong interacting with spike, actually finding out about the slayer before buffy, slayers with different backgrounds and situations and personalities, KENDRA?! I just love it so much.

you’d be able to focus on a relatively small cast of slayers, much like the potentials, throughout the season. this would include buffy, faith, kendra, nikki, and some other american slayers from varying time periods with a couple interesting international characters too (maybe a slayer from ancient greece / rome / egypt, or an anglo-saxon one or something). these are all experienced slayers, so no need to focus on training - it would be more about lore, history and their personal character journeys, assimilating them into society (creating some fun bottle episodes, maybe a day out on the town with dawn and a historical slayer) and trying to figure out why they were all brought back. also, if you want to keep the first as the main villain, then it can look like any one of them because they’re all technically dead, which means you can still have that episode with the dead potential revealing herself as the first and all the mistrust that’s threaded throughout the season.

plus with nikki back, there would be no need for the stupid sleeper agent thing with spike or the ridiculous fight between him and robin. all the same ideas (and the flashbacks to spike’s mum) could still be explored, and in a way better way imo.

I reckon the reason they were brought back would probably be the powers that be (tying nicely into angel ofc) trying to defeat the first. and of course the ending would be this huge battle, as all the slayers from around the world come to sunnydale, and maybe to add some drama they would all disappear and die again when the battle’s done as they have fulfilled their purpose (a classic finale knife to the heart that would have everyone sobbing, especially over nikki and kendra).

there’s also the added thing of like,, I appreciate the show was leaning towards a theme of “hope for the future” with the potentials angle, but literally every other aspect of the season is about harkening back to the past. faith, robin, the first taking the form of previous characters, the high school, the slayer origins, etc etc. so I just think this idea would work so much better with the themes of the season, and tie in really nicely.

and the most obvious perk of this concept is kendra! she was forgotten about so quickly, and this season would really give the writers a chance to redeem themselves for the terrible way poc characters have been treated throughout the show (ignoring what they did to robin. FUCK that but that’s another conversation). I think the show really downplayed how much kendra’s death would have affected buffy, and seeing the two of them interact after buffy has changed so much and kendra’s still the same would be amazing. there’s also the interesting concept that, having been brought back from the dead, kendra still be 17, and therefore closer in age to dawn than to buffy, which could make for some really nice interactions between the two of them. also of course the biggest most exciting thing is having buffy, faith and kendra all interact. they all represent places on a spectrum in terms of personality, and I would LOVE to see kendra and faith interact and how much of a unit they would likely become as a trio.

there’s also the theme of buffy feeling (and being) alone in this season that would hopefully go away, as she would now have dozens of people who truly understand her, giving her a proper support system which I would love to see (season 7 scoobies can actually eat shit btw <3)

so. was this born out of my hatred for insufferable kennedy and the annoying potentials? yes absolutely. do I now want them to rewrite and re-film the entire last season 20 years later? yes absolutely I’m so glad you understand

side note wouldn’t it be sick if in the final battle there’s just this one slo-mo shot where buffy stakes a vamp and through the dust she sees the first slayer looking at her from across the battlefield before she disappears amongst the fight. WHAT it would literally be awesome hello?!

also also other side note sorry but Mother(TM) nikki wood would NEVER kick buffy out of her own house. fuck them kids fr

[shallowseeker]

My hot take is that little Dean's memory of his parents fighting and his dad moving out for a couple of days is... kind of a nothing burger.

At the very least, it's not a smoking gun indicating a big, bad, ABUSIVE/IMPERFECT marriage at that point. It wasn't even indicative of Mary somehow"RELYING on little Dean."

First: All marriages are imperfect. We argue over the difficulties of life—painful disruptions to life's daily rhythms, especially for a child.

Second: This marriage's imperfection is part of what makes it more believable to me. I'd be more suspicious of a Cupid-coded, neverending limerance.

This looks... well, this doesn't look that bad, to be honest. In terms of "dangerous" domestic disputes, this doesn't even rank, or ring alarm bells.

So John moved out for a few days. Big deal.

We don't even know if Sam and Dean's assumption that it's mostly John's fault is the correct one.

///

I mean, sure. Thematically, it's got a strong, perhaps retroactive(?) throughline. And Sam latches onto this theme with gusto:

"Wow, you've been cleaning up dad's messes for longer than I thought!"

Sam that is a four-year-old displaying normal anxiety over a relatively normal situation.

Mary is not "Relying (TM)" on little Dean in this scene either, btw. She's feeding him a sandwich. She's giving Dean a hug because he overheard the argument and is upset and anxious about it. Like any kid would be.

Little Dean's not "cleaning up Dad's messes" here either, regardless of what Sam knows came after in their lives.

This seems to be a retroactive narrative Sam is stamping onto this memory, the same way Sam seems to(?) stamp his anxieties about "impurity," "demon blood," and "being a freak/monster" onto his own past memories, trying to make sense of his "feeling like an outsider."

//

Anyhoo. Clearly, this was a small speed bump in John and Mary's marriage, not a wreck. John and Mary seem to have come to an understanding on their own.

It wasn't even that long of a separation, "only for a few days."

It wasn't the end of the world. It just FELT like the end of the world to a little kid.

///

If anything, this is a window into little Dean's sensitivity to others' emotions, even from a very early age.

Kindness and empathy are wonderful traits.

But it's this big heart that will set Dean up for pain. Because his good nature will be taken advantage of by John later.

[vashtijoy]

the list of incidents in the background

This is the list of incidents that appears in the background on TV, in the 10/4 cinematic with Sae, the SIU Director, and Akechi. Let's take a look at them, one by one, to see (some of?) what's been going on.

バス暴走死傷事故 basu bousou shishou jiko reckless bus driving accident that caused injuries and deaths

This is explicitly described as a bousou—the word meaning "runaway" or "rampage" that the original name for "psychotic breakdown" uses, and the original name for Call of Chaos uses. In this context, it means reckless driving. Also shishou is "deaths and injuries"—this is explicitly a fatal accident. The game wants us to know that, even if nobody died in that subway crash, people have died in these mysterious incidents.

コンビニ爆発物事件 konbini bakuhatsumono jiken convenience store bombing incident

What? Did someone bomb a convenience store? Well, maybe not. If you're following the news, the recent incident where someone threw a smoke bomb at PM Kishida Fumio is being described as a bakuhatsumono jiken. So this could be relatively tame.

Or it might not be. The Manchester Arena bombing, where people leaving an Ariana Grande concert were blown up and many died, is also a bakuhatsumono jiken. It could go either way.

トンネル内放火事件 tonneru nai houka jiken arson inside a tunnel incident

Short and sweet. Could be another subway incident, but since it's not explicitly mentioned as being one, it's more likely a road tunnel or something? Fires in tunnels can be devastating, of course.

ヨットハーバー燃料漏出 yotto haabaa nenryou roushutsu marina fuel leak

This sounds like another one that could have been quite dramatic. Marinas tend to be places where rich and powerful people hang out, so this is likely to do with someone being explicitly targetted?

翼田リムジンバス突入事故 yokuta (?) rimushinbasu totsunyuu jiko Yokuta (?) Airport shuttle bus crash accident

Hahaha, this one is fun. First, a "limousine bus" is an airport bus—the ones that run you out to the plane. The airport is a spoof of Haneda Airport. 羽田 "Haneda", to Yokuta (?)'s 翼田—they've changed the first kanji for another one that means "wing".

A totsunyuu jiko is a car crash, but seems to be specifically a crash where the vehicle crashes into a fixed obstacle? So some poor driver smashed their shuttle bus into a wall.

新都市交通あねはづる事故 shin toshi koutsuu anehazuru jiko Anehazuru Monorail case

This one is a P3 reference. shin toshi koutsuu—"New Urban Transport", a term for a "people mover" or monorail. The Shin Toshi Koutsuu Anehazuru is the monorail in P3.

We don't know what happened there, but this may be the only indication that anything happens outside Tokyo in P5 (besides Shido getting his drama on with Joker).

An anehazuru, BTW, is a type of bird, the demoiselle crane.

内閣部サイバー攻撃事件 naikakufu saibaa kougeki jiken Cabinet Office cyberattack incident

This one is interesting because it's so unlike the rest—though there are a lot of data leaks during the Medjed arc, which suggests the conspiracy is somehow taking the opportunity to carry them out. Cyberattacks certainly don't seem in Akechi's line (though he might be responsible for locating worthwhile targets?), so this might just have been swept in with the accidents and "incidents".

An attack on the Cabinet Office, of course, makes it a political attack, and exceptionally likely to be Shido-motivated somehow.

毒薬混入事件 dokuyaku kon'nyuu jiken poison adulteration incident; poisoning incident.

The last on the list: someone, or several someones, were poisoned.

so what do we know

While only one of these, the top one, is explicitly described as fatal, it doesn't take much of a stretch to see that many of them could have been fatal—and the fact that they aren't all called "fatal accident" doesn't make them necessarily not fatal.

Plus, the list fills the screen. These are unlikely to be all the cases; they're the most recent ones, or the ones the studio thought most worthy of note.