#theres some other stuff with her but i forget how far that is in the story so for now ill just leave it at Shes OK

[todayisafridaynight]

May I ask your thoughts on Chitose? I'm around chapter 8 rn and so far I'm just kinda :/ Does it get better?

she exists.

[tobacconist]

Okay like i actually feel so guilty and this isnt even a joke. i dont know how to say this without sounding insane but yes; wizards are real. i am one of them. no, i havent been to hogwarts. yes, i do have a wand. no, i won't show it to you. etc, etc. genuinely this weighs heavy on my soul. ive talked about this before but i feel like its important for me to write this out once again. j confess it: j was party to them what put that curse on jk rowling. (iykyk) like, bitch, im actually so sorry. it was never meant to go this far. i mean i never meant for... well, i dont think any of us did (originally) but now we are where we are, and theres no turning back. not now.

basically, there was a big uproar in the wizarding community after that play 'the cursed child' came out. idk, i never saw it. you see, jk rowling didnt actually 'write' the harry potter series. she 'wrote' it, but it was not actually 'wrought' by her, like... to put it bluntly, the original was all based off of real events (albeit with significant alterations) and ,madame, was the one chosen to write the 'muggle-redacted' version, because she has (distant) wizard ancestry. she herself is completely unaware of this. well then, anyway, then there was the fantastic beasts saga; and, like, we were ALL pissed off. even the muggles sensed that something wasnt right. it wasnt 'magical'. it was a disgrace. so... yeah... we did it. we... uh... put that powder on her doorstep, so to speak. we crossed some bones. it was actually nothing to do with transness at all to begin with, it was about some political shit to do with the labour party and jeremy corbyn? or something like that? idk, were not supposed to vote and be political, we have our own kings and queens. anyway yeah we were just sore about how we were portrayed in it and especially how she distorted the whole plotline about grindelwald and harrys children. like bitch, if youre listening, tell me: WHY DIDNT YOU WRITE 'THE FOUR MARAUDERS' LIKE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO!? OR 'THE LIFE AND TIMES OF ALBUS DUMBLEDORE' OR 'HOGWARTS A HISTORY'? or ANYTHING ELSE! it could have all been so different... 'fantastic beasts'??? sorry what??? it was genuinely like smearing dogshite upon our screens. im sorry love, but were still right angry about it. we loved you... how... how could you? 'newt scamander' - who is this fellow? we have never heard of him. oh, what? did you feel some tingle of inspiration? some new character, who loves magical creatures. he was expelled from hogwarts... fond relationship with dumbledore... THATS HAGRID! THATS THE YOUNG HAGRID! FUCK! anyway yeah, i didnt watch any of the other ones cus it was just embarrassing to see johnny depp dressed up like that.

and ofcourse there was all the other stuff before that (dont forget to be awesome!) but basically we cast a spell, several spells, and sent evil fortunes to be upon her. i regret it deeply. but by gum was the woman strong! i beg you all to realise that she literally was not transphobic until we caused this incessant stream of abuse to be directed towards her. like, we literally did this to her. on purpose. it was a targeted campaign of psychic harassment and manipulation that we have put her through for YEARS, and its only a few months ago that she truly started to crack. weve all since disbanded, because covens never stay together very long; thats why hogwarts is only a dream - but the spells have been spoken and the weird it is weft, and it would be a strong hand that would unweave them. that is to say - it is ongoing, and i am so sorry sorry sorry sorry

and for the record :- transexuality/homosexuality/genderqueerness/goatfucking is literally not an issue in wizard society we literally have potions that can change your gender in an instant or turn it back again, most of us have non-human ancestry, and we regularly trade our sperm and eggs with other species such as elves and the chinese. so there.

[silantryoo]

as much as im annoyed by the potential implications of the mhj/hybe drama i do feel like theres way too much speculation rn ... rlly doesn't sit so well with me that everyone is bashing on mhj alone (im not supporting her either though) and not bang sihyuk too. some hybe stans rlly js worship the guy and idk why . its not like he's innocent too. like those texts from him are so annoying too. abt if she's satisfied that nwjns is so popular and also abt trying to rival aespa / bp alone ...

hybe has sm power and r known for their mediaplay so i rlly do wish people would keep that in mind instead of doing their own speculation to bash on mhj . we don't know fs if she's the reason behind seunghan, youngseo, etc .... it seems so forced that everyone just collectively is making stuff up on their own theories and pissing on her. like im all for it when everything's done with but it's giving misogyny to me ughhh idk how to explain it eitherr without sounding like a mhj stan I PROMISE IM NOT TAKING HER SIDE T_T i just cant help but feel like poeple find it easier to hate and bash on women sometimes. even me scrolling x nowadays feels so annoying. literally feel so bad for illit and nwjns rn.

personally i was a teeny annoyed that illit had a similar image to nwjns w their nostalgia/coquettecore (also though just seems like cute/youthful concept is making a cb in general in kpop) but only because their songs on super real me were the exact type of songs i liked most from nwjns (super shy, hurt etc. the softer less peppy songs compared to hybe boy) so it bothered me that there was an implication that nwjns might be forced to distance itself to a more differing concept to keep some contrast btwn the two ... but ik that's not illit's fault at all (literally love the girls sm im a runext fan ^^) i feel like i can understand the upset that illit was getting a similar concept when every other grp before illit in hybe had more defined concepts seperating each other. but once again that's all hybe's doing ...... seeing the choreographers supporting mhj too makes it seem like not even the nwjns team or even all the staff were on board with the references in the choreo either...

anyways i do hope this controversy doesnt impede on either grps promos :( and i rlly hope everything gets sorted out... im srsly hoping this doesnt turn into a 5050 situtation again but with nwjns i was so upset when that happened . was curious on what your thoughts were or if u were keeping up with everything?

the way im coming back to reply to this first thing after my exams is insane, but this nwjns thing makes me so angry for all the idols under hybe. both parties j cares sm ab money that they're blindsided by the potential of ruining their idols careers, mental health and images. mhj is being stupid and hybe does seem to be doing anything to protect nwjns (as far as we know. i could be wrong).

(yawl, jsyk i obv dont have ALL the information. from what ive seen online and the articles ive read, this is what I THINK. ME. youre free to think smthn else, whether i agree or not.)

i def thing that bang hyung sik (bhs) isn't innocent either. although min heejin (mhj), in my opinion, is more in the wrong j based on the treatment of other idols, bhs seemed to provoke her, and on top of that, the company seems to blindly support ppl and give them a platform so long as they make profit for the company. ive been seeing a lot of ppl saying hes j human but youd think theres a reason why mhj got kicked from sm, yk? and you j took her back in w open arms.

hybe is v good at media play fs. its their forte, and ppl seemed to stray from the from the main problem. mhj is using nwjns as a weapon. hybe probably is doing the same thing w their other groups too, dont get me wrong. ppl seem to forget that this entire issue isnt "drama", its a legal battle ensuing between a huge corporation and its subsidiary. hybe has infinite power compared to ador. its horrible on both ends.

the thing is tho, mhj has consistently been showing the public red flags. the lyrics of 'cookie (ik she didnt write the lyrics but shes the ceo. she got them approved)', the portraits gifted to her of naked underaged girls, her obsession w olivia hussey (who happens to look like minji), her treatment of sm employees, her past work w shinee (sexualization of underaged taemin), etc. not to mention her extremely (at least in my eyes) inappropriate relationship w nwjns. the gifts shes gotten them and how she uses their emotions as a weapon. if bhs did that, everyone would be up in arms.

i dont think (for the most part) this is misogyny. i think ppl alw had a weird feeling about her. at least i did.

idt its good to speculate on ppls departure tho. youre def right ab that. the lsfm hate train (esp the coachella one) most likely has nothing to do w mhj. and i do agree that hybe copied or was at least inspired by nwjns, but idt illit copied them. illit and nwjns have a very 'pinkpantheress' sound, the uk early 00's bedroom pop genre. however, nwjns is more y2k and illit is more dream-like, ykwim? hybe was def inspired by nwjns tho. i think a more fitting one would be tws tbh. their sound is v similar to me (emphasis on to me) than illit.

dont get me wrong, it's incredibly shady and the way that a lot of staff are on her side makes me think that hybe was leeching off of the success of nwjns. it referenced all girl groups under hybe tho, lsfm and fromis, but there was def more nwjns references.

what im worried ab the most are the groups, esp nwjns. lsfm has been going thru their own struggles and rn this isnt the best for them, but theyre not extremely involved in the situation, not like nwjns and illit. illit, from what ive seen, has majority of the success and recognition from overseas. however, their success in korea'll take a huge hit. itll def take a toll on the girls mental, considering they j debuted and this happened.

nwjns is the worst off. theres a chance they might leave w mhj if ador does pull away from hybe, which isnt in the groups best interest. mhj's press conference and overall attitude is gonna affect their upcoming release fs, and their proximity to mhj herself is worrisome.

hybe doesnt seem to be doing shit to protect their artists, they're j protecting their name. theres no statement on or for illit, no statement on malicious comments for any of the groups (that i know of).

tldr: min heejin and hybe are both at fault. dont take sides of either, take the side of the idols.

sorry, im j so passionate ab this. the shit ive been seeing online has been making me mad. after getting back from the lsfm hate train too... as mad as i am at mhj, hybe GAVE her that platform. if the things they claim is true, and if the speculation is true, they alr knew from her past employment that she was shady. its their fault for allowing that.

[the-blossica-fan]

Greetings!

Ive been loving the silly scenarios with Arcana being in the suitcase (oh my god the creator of doomed yuri undooming it is so funny)

But I cannot escape the amount of angst here lmao.

Vertin and Sonetto above all people are so livid shes here, constantly having to shoo others in the suitcase getting too close to Arcana in their home with the women that caused them the most grief (outside of Constantine ofc)

Like come on theres probably a moment Vertin and Arcana just happen to be in the lobby, just reminded of the red dress that forever sits on the far counter (guns probably messing a few bullets in their chamber somewhere nearby).

Another bit is probably Druvis, like we know FMN and Druvis, but whatever was going on with Arcana and Druvis? Like they give the most toxic exes vibes that we probably have never seen.

(Lilya: hey Druvis, why does Arcana call you babygirl?

Druvis: Lets stop talking now)

Greetings, comrade!

Arcana in the suitcase (slowly undooming the doomed Yuri she created like taking thread by thread off a sweater) is actually quite silly when we look at it from Arcana's perspective, the others are not as silly and fun.

She's in the suitcase because the Foundation absolutely does not want her in their establishment but also needs her for the storm and fixing everything she's made, so, knowing how Constantine is, she just threw that woman to Vertin and made it her problem.

For Druvis, I think FMN had some sort of infatuation for her, but it never carried since she was also pretty close to Arcana. The situationship between Druvis and Arcana was... Something

Arcana was highly toxic to Druvis by manipulating her and pushing her lower and lower into her depression alongside FMN, using emotional manipulation and making her depend on her for everything. Of course Druvis is traumatized every time she sees that woman

She thought that when she joined Vertin she would leave that past behind and start all over again, people are still able to recall Druvis' horrified face once she sees Arcana walk into the suitcase accompanied by an angry Vertin and an uncomfortable Sonetto.

Never before had Druvis been so expressive.

"My love, I am the happiest to see thee once again." (Druvis threw her stuff to the floor and walked away as quickly as physically possible)

Vertin and Sonetto are even worse off, they have to take care of Arcana and be close to her to keep a watch on that woman. She's sitting there looking pretty all the time while they have to remember everything she put them through.

She has offered to bring back Schneider and Sonetto casted a control incantation on her, threatening with violence if she ever mentioned Schneider again.

Same with Vertin, who can't handle being around Arcana any more than five minutes. She remembers everything she made her do and the fact she can't harm her is holding her back from releasing everything she wants on that malicious (not anymore) woman.

"Oh, is this Schneider's gown? I have not seen her in so long. I can bring her back, an thou wish." It sounded so evil yet all she wanted to do was fix the doomed Yuri she made.

Characters like 37 and 6 are not even in the same room as her when she's around. 37 is filled with rage and frustration, she took everything from her and dares come back, talking about Sophia as if she's a dear friend and comrade when she traumatized her for... Why, actually.

37 can't bring herself to talk to Arcana, even more when she offers to fix hers and Sophia's relationship and bring it back to what it was before. Hell fucking no.

6 just doesn't want to see her, it's a guilt he carries around for letting her walk on their island for so long, long enough to disrupt what little peace he and his ancestors built. He just can't forgive and forget, so he doesn't, and chooses to never interact with her, ignoring her presence.

...And Arcana is always pestering him and he is so done.

As you can see, Arcana is pretty annoying, insisting on fixing everything because... She got a girlfriend and decided life is good and she has to undoom the doom.

It's silly until you look at how horrified the others are and then you realize, maybe it's not so silly.

Lilya: Why- why is Arcana calling you "mine love"?

Druvis: ...I would rather not talk about it.

[enden-k]

Can I ask what makes Arlecchino evil? I'm v much a villain enjoyer and like some morally greyness, but I genuinely didn't pick up on a lot of bad stuff with Arlecchino. She was super helpful during Fontaine and seemed to be the only powerful person who cared about helping the common folk when the water levels were rising.

I'm not here to start an argument, just wanna expand my view 🙏

dw didnt think u want to argue! i will also use this to say i wont tolerate arguments, this goes for everyone here

i will talk about sensitive themes under the cut (mentions of when i was groomed/emotionally abused by my adoptive father/mentions of abuse/grooming in general) so if someones not good with this, be warned please and dont click for your emotional comfort.

i really love arlecchino (theres also difficult, personal reasons ig) and id rather wait for her to arrive to get more information than we have so far through other characters/side quests/main quest but well.

her goals aligned with ours in the fontaine quest which is why we have the impression shes a good/nice person, especially considering our other meetings with the harbingers we met so far (signora, childe, scara, dottore) and the situations. shes very calm and diplomatic (lets see how it changes in the next update when we fight her)

but we shouldnt forget how the travellers on their toes the entire time/everytime they come in contact with arle. its because shes a harbinger after all. shes a danger. her graceful politeness and calmness is supposed to have you on guard, make your hairs rise. shes mentioned to be manipulative and shes manipulating others to achieve what she wants by being nice and calm. she has ulterior motives. we should be careful. this is my impression based on my own gaming experience and idk if it was the same w others, but bc of us being on guard around her i was always prepared for her to turn on us until the end of the main quest.

anw, arle is supposed to be intimidating and have you wary. even tho she comes off as nice and polite, having done good and helped in the main story. its bc thats what she wanted and you happened to have the same goal. also lets not forget scaras and childes thoughts about her which already tells a lot

she has two sides. the one we saw in the quest, the graceful, calm, polite face to get what she wants. and the other, the one scara and childe talk about here, the one they call "crazy"

not to mention her codename, "the knave". what does it mean? servant. what else does it mean? "dishonest/deceitful man". basically, swindler. isnt it perfect?

shes manipulative and whatever her "true" nature is, we dont know (yet). she may have "good intentions" here or there but will achieve them no matter what it takes.

as for the thing you can consider as bad; the house of the hearth is an orphanage that raises children into fatui agents. only those who have potential join the ranks while the others are kept close (its not known whats done with them afaik). theyre basically grooming/raising child soldiers/spies.

before the sensitive stuff comes up, for the ppl who dont want to proceed, arlecchino fools/manipulates you into thinking shes a nice person/good parent. its amazing and so in character for her. its also scary how some ppl cant see the abuse/manipulation unless you went through this too or well. just actually read and realize it.

arlecchino is an emotionally manipulative parental figure. now, this is coming from someone who went through heavy abuse/was groomed by their adoptive father who was extremely manipulative and i spot so many things very well known to me. others who went through the same get this feeling. these signs you immediately recognize.

you get punished for the tiniest mistakes and when you get loved, it makes you forget all that was done to you, just for that tiny bit of affection you crave. you try to do your best, to do everything asked and expected of you, not to disappoint the only parent you have and youre dependent on, to be a good kid deserving of love and when you slip up youre in shambles. there was a time i did a tiny mistake by accident and my father said to me in the coldest voice "you broke my trust" and i remember so vividly how it broke me, how i cried until i got sick. i was physically abused before and none of it hurt me more than this. it still gets to me after all those years. emotional manipulation is cruel

what im trying to say is, she came in a time of need. taken as a savior while it just is one abuser swapped out with another. like my adoptive father having me dependent, giving me love i never received and being everything i wanted, making me believe hes everything i need, a common thing abusers do. wanting to do everything youre asked of and do it good, the fear of disappointing and being punished, believing you deserved it bc its your fault and treating your abuser like a savior, being conditioned. this is whats happening.

now, arle genuinely loves and protects her children; its very clear that the life of the children matter to her the most (look at childes line and freminet/lynette etc) - she was one of them too after all. so, its possible to love and still do these. moral greyness etcetc

anyway idk if its understandable or if i can explain it in proper words while maintaining a good distance so ill add the voicelines of the siblings heavily implying this, and also a tweet adressing this that brings it to proper words, better than i can say

tweet here bc tmblr doesnt insert the link properly

[horizon-verizon]

Im not a hardcore fans of GoT but the amount BS that i had to witness from Hotd make me think GoT is a masterpiece espessially when it come to professionalism, Lena and Emilia knew they are actors and they never justify or give their characters excuse to what horrible thing their character has done, meanwhile Hotd got some actors who projecting them self and their struggles into their characters, begging people to not call them villain at comic con, inventing a whole new ass background story and relationship, stealing 90% characters trait from other characters just to make her more likeable, even asking the writers to write a PLOT because they are bored had to shoot in studio? Jesus

I do wonder why people dont talk about nepotism in HoTD anymore i remember they talk about this after someone on reddit mad they didnt get cast for a role because theres actor who has famous daddy (David Tennat) was already booked for that one and this is happen three month before they announce the casting for that role that person even come as far making a whole essay in all this cast interviews and he is right David's son get that role how can we forget Miguel's wife was behind the idea to make Rhaenyra and Alicent a bestfriend

No wonder this show didnt get any Emmy not even Ramin Djawadi can help them

I still haven't done my research into how HotD's actors overly defend their characters, I only know of Fabien's bc he consistently has said Cole is more or less "misunderstood" 🙄 in interviews despite giving mountains of evidence that he isn't. so I can't commit to anything on the others' parts.

As for the Tennant nepotism, idk abt that either bc I don't often look at bts-bts stuff. Agreed this show doesn't deserve an Emmy, but I maintain many of its actors do.

I will be forever grateful for the musical score...or really Ramin. Certified bangers.

[heronoegg]

could we know what the backstory behind mina getting autopsied was? i know you said her mother permitted it while under the influence, but why? and who is "some people"?

doesn't have enough backstory to back up what im saying but the long story short is somebody once had a AU where Mina was a real alien and she had an autopsy and i just thought the idea was neat cause she's a alien girl there was never really any thought behind me giving her autopsy scar but i have to make something up

I HOWEVER DO HAVE SOME BACKSTORY FOR HER MOM

I HC Mina was on accident, didn't mean to have another kid, cause they already had one which is Mina's big bro, so her parents accidently had another kid which is her.

Mina reminds me of Amy rose from Sonic in the sense that she says she wants to fall in love one day but can't really do it (its somewhere on her wiki that Mina said this in the novel i think. That she likes to match make her friends but falling in love herself is tough to do DONT QUOTE ME I MIGHT HAVE READ THIS SOMEWHERE ELSE), it reminds me so much of Amy, and i have headcanons for Amy that her parents aren't so in love the way she wants a relationship, like "wow, my parents are the opposite of in love when i grow up i want to be in a loving famliy"

so that carried over to Mina, my version of her mom for one reason or another she's for a lack of a better word is one of the those mom's who drink alot and is never truly sober. she is not the worlds most awful mom but she doesn't really take care of her kids and she ignores them a lot when they were little cause she didn't want to take care of them resulting in the kid's liking their dad more cause he was an awesome dad, Mina remembers her dad, she was a daddy's girl

KEYWORD: WAS

Mina's dad dies idk going to a location maybe work and gets in the middle of a hero fighting or something. leaving the kids with their mom, Mina's brother at the time is old enough to go to school and take care of both mom and Mina so hes the one doing everything. ima say he's like 16 when she's 5 he doesn't go to hero school he's just a cool dude

---warnings of me not having enough knowledge on a subject so i keep saying "i guess" or "i don't know" cause i don't know and this is just off the top of my head thoughts, if somebody could truly come up with a better reason im open to listen cause these are just not well put together thoughts ----

as for the Autopsy thing it sounds stupid but like ya know, gotta come up with a reason for stuff i guess im perfectly fine with having 0 explanation and just doing stuff but i'll give you my thoughts i had while trying to find a reason before i gave up.

Mina's mom is a alcoholic, she's gonna come home wasted, she's gonna come home barely able to process anything, in her drunken state she mistook Mina for a alien cause she's like a weirdo (no offense to people who do believe in aliens) who believes in aliens but it's not that far fetch when mutants can look like anything. and im under the assumption that she associates with weird people who also believe aliens are real, so she takes her daughter to them while she's drunk and tells them this is a real alien.

Mina is extremely confused

im unsure how the autopsy situation happens but it probably traumatizes Mina if they didn't knock her out with some strong meds, they cut her to look at her organs and was like "Yo man this is normal, nothing here is alien" my next thing is after they fix her up somebody probably uses a quirk to either make her forget this happen or something like this cause they don't want the police on them so it's like this never happened, but Mina has the scars but never ask questions about it

How this even happen and Mina lived, i don't know, how this even happened and her mom didn't go to jail? Maybe she did go to jail, cause theres this whole other idea i have where Mina gets put with her auntscause her brother for some reason or another can't keep her legally? idk and mom is probably in jail so she gets put with her aunts who dislike children like actually are bad people and mistreat her HOW SHES GOING TO UA LIKE THIS IDK but it's a blessing to her moving into the dorms

the bad part about this is Mina's mom's spiraling and she probably does have good memories with her mom it's just she has a really bad drinking problem and i feel like i can see Mina now, as a hero in training going to see her mom and asking her if she would like her to help her go clean and get her life back together, cause Mina doesn't hate her mom, she just dislikes her aunts cause they were created to be garbage that's why i didn't name them cause i dont care about them and im the one who made them exist lol

this is unfinished ideas, don't know why they are semi-morbid and strange it just b like that sometimes

[bigb-enthusiast]

OK LET'S GO! i have no idea how long this ramble will be :D

-the au is MAINLY flower ranchers centric, focused on "grian went missing and now they have to find him". he joined a cult (the watchers) is what happened lol. theres lots of plot stuff and martyn bigb and pearl help them along with some other people but for bigb specifically!

-the nosy neighbors are very much Do Not Separate Under Any Fucking Circumstances!

-this is because BEFORE the main plot, they were best friends and ALSO joined the cult. they got fun magic while they were there (pearl can talk to animals and bigb can alter memories/make people want to do stuff they wouldnt normally) but also It Was Literally An Evil Cult.

-bigb was the one to figure it out. he was fooling around with his magic and thought too hard about his and pearls circumstances and basically went "hangon this is bad stuff we're doing here??" (The watchers were making them do bad stuff with their magic. This is Important Trauma Event #1

-he and pearl make an escape attempt and barely succeed bc the watchers tried to mind control bigb sort of and 1) make him not leave and 2) make him make pearl not leave, WITH HIS MAGIC! BY MAKING BOTH OF THEM FORGET EVERYTHING! He snaps, kills a guy or seven, Gets Him And His Bestie The Fuck Out Of There, and loses a bunch of his magical ability in the process! :D Trauma Event #2.

-unfortunately there were even more side effects than this

-he now sometimes forgets what he was doing but with full hours disappearing except for some vague memories. also he randomly lies to people about unimportant things for no reason! This Is On Accident, I Cannot Stress This Enough. also he's not even using his magic then but he keeps rolling nat 20s on charisma soooo (Trama Event(s) #3). fortunately it's only little things like what he ate for breakfast or that he saw a cool bug or what his fav ice cream flavor is. nothing big enough to have serious fallout

-(he still gets very worried about that though, but pearl is there to help him <3 neither of them have told anybody* about anything they went through also so they literally only have each other. theyre just trying to be normal people)

-*we'll get to that later :)

-I mentioned that he lost a bunch of his magical ability! Well he still has enough that he can use magic it just takes a lot more energy and effort and like he can't just wave a hand and someone forgets their entire life (he used to be that strong.) now though he can still fiddle with peoples minds but he HATES doing it bc of what the watchers made him do (im thinking they essentially tried to use him as a recruitment officer??) so in the (so far only one) incredibly rare circumstance he feels forced to actually use magic, he will become incredibly overwhelmed with guilt<3

-Now It's Time For The Fun Part.

-so we all know last life swamprot! there was a betrayal, a fuckton of guilt and sadness, and a Grudge.

-we're fastforwarding to the present, scott has obtained magic and he's close with cleo so he told her just about everything (with him and tango and jimmy at least). scott does not know about anyone else having magic yet. (Martyn also has magic from the listeners, but he's got his own stuff going on.)

-in CLEO'S past, martyn and her had... something going on. but martyn told her about his magic, so when scott told her, she already knew it was A Thing.

-BUT ACTUALLY, SHE EVEN KNEW BEFORE THEN!

-im thinking that one time after bigb had, like, a particularly bad memory/"i'm going to hurt everyone and not even know it" episode, pearl ends up a few days later in her OWN puddle of guilt bc she knows hes only suffering this bad bc she was there with him during all the watcher stuff and she gets drunk or something and goes to cleo to cry and ends up telling them E V E R Y T H I N G

-cleo, being a good friend, doesnt tell anyone anything and when pearl doesnt remember either the next day they think it best to let her forget too lest she panic. so cleo is basically the one friend that knows everyones secrets but none of the friends know about anyone else? later on everyone gets told everything but cleo was stuck with the Curse of Knowledge for a bit (side effect of being a trustworthy friend lmao)

-SO ONE DAY *cue evil laughter*

-one day, after the FRs have some adventure or whatnot, and cleo and bigb are hanging out, cleo decides that maybe it's time to help the nosy neighbors with their insane mental burdens. they try to allude to bigb that they KNOW, thinking that pearl would feel less bad about everything if B was also there to be like "hey man it's cool, i'm not mad at you" and all.

-B Fuckign Panics Again

-TIME FOR BIGB'S MAGIC ISSUES TO COME INTO PLAY AGAIN :D

-bigb, in this now-panic, makes cleo forget everything about HIM and magic. imagine "all instances of 'bigb' and 'magic' in the same thoughts or memories disappearing" type stuff. unfortunately cleo's known for long enough and still remembers pearl and martyn and scott and knows what bigb's power is and bigb just isnt thorough enough in a panic and his magic isnt strong enough to cover the gaps so when she blinks back into the present she Knows What He Did. and shes MAD

-(she knows why he did it, but she doesnt understand why he wouldnt trust her, but ESPECIALLY why even though he was SO scared of ever hurting anyone with his magic, he was willing to erase her memory without a second thought)

-This is Trauma Event #4

-now, he actually DID have a LOT of second thoughts. it took him a mental debate and a LOT of apologizing before and while he did it but he erased cleos memory of THAT in the process.

-and she doesnt have the backup memories to get that part back. so that's a tiny bit of miscommunication but it actually works well (i think)

-now once everything gets explained, for the most part everything gets cleared up, but bigb thinks cleo DOES remember him apologizing bc she remembered everything else, and cleo is mad at him because she DOESN'T, but that's mostly just a little bit of extra tension between them. everything else is fine

-(cleo martyn and nosy neighbors have the Important Informational Conversation before the FRs are made aware of any of their stuff though)

-theres still more but it's like scattered in bits and pieces that require a lot more explaining and this ask is long enough already LMAO

DO YOU LIKE WHAT I HAVE SO FAR :DDD

THIS IS WO COOL OMG WTF HRBWHICHWBCJEHCBEBGKFOJW

[woomycritiques543]

Except, this forgets the fact that…

I dont know…

Vivziepop tends to higher multiple celeberties for her work nowadays, specifically mostly comedians, a grade voice actors, and the main character for her INDIE cartoon being voiced by one of the biggest youtube creators? Hell- most of who Vivziepop herself hires nowadays for her actually indie shows are not small actors trying to make it big, she hires CELEBRITIES AND BROADWAY ACTORS to pull herself up and not actually help other creators. Because if she did, she wouldnt have tried to blacklist her workers away from being hired for Far Fetched (Because that’s what saying “Pwease dont put them on your project this is swooooo important to meh! I know that they have to pay bills and stufff but this is MY show pwease dont hire them!” is, blacklisting.), this being confirmed by Erin Frost through their archives of Vivziepop’s mistreatment, and though yes, much of the more screwed up stuff was evidence towards other artists so Erin wasnt able to share most of it for privacy reasons, and they may have actually messed up in a few places and need to work on their own behavior- BUT THE MISTREATMENT WAS REAL! There’s proof of this all over the internet, not just from Erin Frost, but multiple people who worked there, and- theres evidence RIGHT THERE just by how fast Helluva Boss’s episodes are releasing!

Also yes, she does mostly hire big name, professional, and broadway actors, as for Helluva Boss alone she managed to get:

Not joking...

Don Darryl Rivera- broadway.

Richard Horvitz- THE VOICE ACTOR OF INVADER ZIM!

Erica Lindbeck- An anime voice actor, who's also a voice actress in The Owl House and MULTIPLE million dollar projects!

Vivian Nixon- Someone who's in GREY'S ANATOMY, one of the most succesful medical dramas of all time, plays Millie!

Barrett Wilbert Weed- Who was one of the actresses in "Heathers"!

Even Erica Lutterel, just plays a background villain that's just meant for comedic releif in this show- and she's an actress that's played in Steven Universe- AND THE ORIGINAL MAGIC SCHOOL BUS!

Norman Reedus- WHO'S NORMAN FUCKING REEDUS THAT GETS MILLIONS OF DOLLARS FOR EACH OF HIS ROLES!

Jonathan Freeman-

JAFAR.

So I think it's really safe to assume- no- to KNOW that Vivziepop outright refuses to hire mostly indie actors, and instead, pulls herself up and other indie creators down by hiring mostly BIG NAME ACTORS WORTH MILLIONS OF DOLLARS! -so to say that "she's going to hire broadway or movie actors" isnt even an assumption anymore, we already know that she does this! She could have easily replaced the Hazbin cast with more indie actors- but instead let the fame get to her head and now hires exclusively big name actors for her projects with little to no actors who havent been in at least ONE million dollar project at some point in their life.

Look at this cast-

LOOK AT THIS!

Should we even still call this an "indie" project anymore if it's a mainstream, million dollar show that has a corperate movie level cast in multiple episodes?! This looks like something i'd see on the average Disney movie- not a indie show, this is far from indie at this point. More than eight people, one of which literally is in the cast of a Disney film! So "It's A24 so she's going to hire mostly indie people" MY ASS! She is not going to hire mostly indie, even for her actual indie project she didnt hire mostly "indie" and instead hired million dollar actors who's been in multiple big name movies! Also- of course, I found this from someone who reblogged this from "PetitPrincess1" because as usual, since this person tries to manipulate the public and attack people, on a daily basis. Petit posted this manipulation tactic to get people not to see the fact that Vivziepop has now hired multiple million dollar movie actors! Sick of this manipulative crap-

People, if you see someone reblog random Twitter posts- DO YOUR RESEARCH BEFORE REBLOGGING! Because before you know it- you end up being manipulated into not seeing something like this!☝️Dont fall for it, even if it's a tweet from Vivziepop- dont fall for it and do your research before trusting someone, anyone! That you see online.

[destinyc1020]

The JE cheating allegations r just allegations bt Z has payed JE dust via social media (since those pics of them 1st came out on her bday) n i feel lik thats on purpose. Obviously social media isnt everything bt Z seems pretty supportive of her costars (esp via IG) she culdv just done a simple like on one of his posts bt hasnt. Again playing devils advocate that she might b paranoid to like JEs post to awaken the Jacobdayas (lol) bt since those kissing pic of her n Tom honestly i dnt think her liking a JE post wuld mean much. bt again, she hasnt liked anything of his for yrs. Ik JE likes some of her stuff tho.

Shes follows Kaia bt as far as I know hasnt liked her stuff either (since those pics of her n Je On Zs bday). Even if JE cheated Kaia didnt owe Z anything cuz they werent friends like that bt if I were Z wuld I personally wanna b friendly with a gurl who prob was talkin to my ex? No lol Kaia seems to like Z tho bt obviously got more friendly (via IG) towards Z once she got with Austin. Z prob is cool with her tho

There was also that rumor of JE/Kaia being close at a after party. Point is, I feel like everything changed between Z n Je after he was spotted with Kaia. Z can like his IG pics or simply b photographed with him side by side in a group pic bt she hasnt lol theres a reason why

THIS. If Z wanted to throw JE a bone, she could have long time ago lol. 😅

She hasn't, so I think that pretty much says it all lol...especially if he's been throwing out peace offerings lol.

I def would feel a bit weird if I felt like another girl was secretly talking to my man while we were dating. I probably wouldn't be all that "friendly" with her either tbh. 👀 Or, let's just say, I sure wouldn't TRUST her, that's all I'll say about that. But Kaia has never seemed to have anything against Z. Idk how Z feels about Kaia tbh.

RE: The Party... Oh it's definitely true, cuz I have the video footage posted somewhere on my blog lol. 😅 It wasn't anything salacious, but I could just tell from the body language that they were acting mighty flirty w/each other for a guy who had a gf back home. I just never trusted JE around Kaia, and it looks like my GUT was right. 👀

NONE of us were shocked when he was spotted with her in LA right after covid restrictions cleared up in the US. NOBODY Lol.

But things changed btwn Z and JE looong before he was spotted with Kaia.

Z stopped paying JE the time of day from like April onward. I'll never forget when he went on vacation with Kaia and her friends (I think in Montana or something?) and Z posted those beautiful selfies with the braids of her in her backyard to show fans that she was NO WHERE near where he was lol. Remember that?😅 It's funny, cuz I recognized his voice in the videos that were posted before I even saw that he was with them lol. They were trying to be slick, but we all caught on early.

[honeybeewhereartthee]

MY DARLING DOLLS 37

Previous || PART7 CH37 || NEXT

You stared at the diary entre you made and stared at the two people out in the garden. It been a while since you arrive at this time period.

You don't count the days that passes by as if the concept of time doesn't matter to you at the moment.

"heyyy get out of the house and have some fun outside!" The old tojou called out to you. You put down your pen and stood up to go to them.

There some questions in your mind that seems to run again.

You forgot why you wanted to go to this place again. But you really need to find a way back before people gets a wrong idea of you not aging even a day in this time period.

...

-PRESENT-

"wow your friend sure kinda w--aw." Jun was smacked before he can comment about you after reading how you start to forget about some stuff. Mainly your obsession to go to that place from of place. It's not even Disney! Kaname cannot help but sigh after he look at the hand whiting of yours.

"it's been a while since we start this project and theres no sign of them returning yet." Hiyori began as he sip his drink.

He don't want to break it to his new friend who's his very close with about how hopeless the situation is.

He don't know what's up much with the dollmaker and darling doll business the idols that close to you are busy with since you were gone for almost a year now.

"No. Theyll return." Kaname gives him a determine look.

Hiyori can only sigh as he look at Kaname looking at the entre again and remember a few months back certain Sakuma have left to who knows where and the information about it is only been told by ibara.

...

"those problematic dolls and idols are not taking their job seriously as long that dollmaker did not return. So I taken it my own hand to fix it."

The so called evil vice president says as he fix his glasses. "Oh my how kind of you." The green haired idol tease.

"of course not." The vice president denied as he show a map to Hiyori. "It's just a deal to be made."

"deal huh..."

"exchange for me to tell that young Sakuma, I'll get full right to access a certain land." He point a red circle marked in the map. "It's fair trade."

Hiyori wonder what's up with the mind of that dollmaker, planning something that far off yet did not come home yet.

Within few days the young Sakuma left to somewhere again.

...

-THE PAST: MC-

"hiii." You look at the young child that's pulling your cloths. You give her a look to shoo her off to her father side but she just giggle and hugs you more. "Don't be rude." You were told off by The old tojou when you pulled thr child off you, leeching on you like a koala. And went outside.

"I dunno what ya mean. That child is being too close to me. It's a bad thing cause she'll get nothing but bad influence from me." You commented as you held out your hand to the fluffy souls that quickly rest in your palm. Purple-blue and blue-green one is the first to rest in your arms.

"I wonder what's going on the other end..." You mumble as you stared at the fluffy balls thats surrending you. All familiar yet not. "Mmmccccccccc...." The little lady of the estate called out to you, running toward you with her little legs can do.

"Ah... Your daughter kinda weird." You mumble as you dodge the attempt of human interaction with the child making her trip to the ground. It was already kinda weird when that kid been attach to you since day one. Toujou sure are one of a kind.

"wahhh... Wahhh." The child cries and you look at her and her father who's giving you a look. You sigh as you reach out to held her up and dust her face. "Don't cry little one." You tries to comfort her, she look at you with tearful eyes and slowly reach out to held your hand. Pulling her up she looks at you up close and cannot help but awe.

In her eyes, you seems like a beautiful mystical being that never age even a day. Yet in her young mind she felt she will see you leave one day. Tears began to fall from her eyes and you were concern for a moment cause maybe you look scary to her now. You put her down but she did not budge and hugs you securely.

"you sure have some charisma to some insane level." The dad said hopeless as he realize his daughter is hopeless and have a crush on you it seems. What a bad taste. He thought as he look at the souls around you who seems to adore you very well, some seems to be more than others.

"I have been told..." You mumble. Through you forget who. Ah. Your memories is getting hazy.

Who was the one telling you have too many flings again...? Who are the fling.... Your eyes widen as you realize your slowly forgetting something. Where they important?

Snow fall the nth time, you stared at the white fluff and wonder.

The longer a soul is out of its body, the more they'll lost their own sense of self...

[sainthelgas]

Buffy S1e02/s1e03 thoughts

"Are you jealous?" "Of xander? Hes "just a kid"

Buffy is the same age as Xander angel! I dont wanna being up the age thing a bunch cause in all honesty theres only so much to be said. But come on. I guess he means like maturity wise but also buffy isnt really that "mature". Shes just kinda been forced to grow up fast. Shes still got the mentality of a teenager for the most part. Its kinda easy to forget buffy is supposed to be like 16 in universw cause her actor is like an adult which makes the angel thing feel a little less weird. In reality the actors are like similar ages (20 and like 28, so not that aimilar but closer then in the show with her being 16 and him being born before the moving image) its just their characters who have a larger age gap so thats probably why people can look past it but I cant really. Moreso then the age gap i just dont really buy their chemistry.

Okay this show has a thing with having buffy being suffocated and or burried alive. I kinda knew that I think cause of isttg but its been a repeat theme. I wanna group in her being drowned with the suffocation thing. Its interesting. I guess its moslty cause of the vampire imagery

Okay cordelia is officially in the "whatre you losers up to" phase of her integration into the friend group. Which makes sense tbh she is in the intro.

Oh shit so it's like a Frankenstein sort of thing. I like that, i like that theyre kinda going thro8gh the general horror pantheon. We got like 3/6th of the universal mosnters. Weve had vampires, frankensteins, and an invisble girl which is close enough to the invisible man for me to count it. It also has like a pygmallion thing going on with them trying to build a bride, which is qlso kinda similar to bride of frankenstein with the "building the monster a partner" thing

What is eric gaining from any of this? Was he just peer pressured into doing this? If so he seems way to eager. Oh wait hes kinda like the Igor I guess. Which would make chris the dr. Frankenstein fill in.

AND IT ENDS WITH THE BUILDING BURNING WITH THE MONSTER INSIDE. there is no way this isnt a purposeful frankenstein thing. Delightful

S2e03

Because of being slight almost spoilered i have some idea of what happens over the next few seasons. The names spike and tara are kinda floating aroung in my head. So i have this little guessing game when a new character pops up if theyre tara and or spike or not. So far all have heen wrong. That vampire guy who was smoking a fat dart feels like a spike but Im probably wrong.

olay immediately after i added that they confirmed this is in fact, Spike. Im the smartest girl alive. I didnt imagine he would be british but I already like him a bit more then Angel. Even if hes kinda freaky.

Yeah even tho8gh he is pronably more objectively "problematic" and actively tries to being harm to buffy more often I still like hom better.

He called him an Uncle Tom?! What the fuck?! They kinda keep going back to this idea of vampyr discrimination. But im just gonna say now its not at all comparable to real world discrimination. Call me Vamphobic but I think that literaly demonic undead bloodauckers dont need to have the same benefit of the doubt as someone who happened to be born on the other side of the Mediterranean. Im not saying there are no vampires who can be genuine allies but I do think Buffy kinda being cautious around anfel is reasonable.

I love how the characters rationalise the shit that happens to them. Sure thats a gang on Pcp. I need to myself some pcp apparently.

Okay cut that cause principal snyder kinda implied he has at least some idea the stuff thats been happening has been supernatural. I dont know if he knows theyre vampyrs specifically cause thats kind of a leep. Legitamitely what answer could someone come to in this situation that would make sense. Honestly I think snyder is my favorite background character because of how much he represents the pov of the common man in this universe.

[lonelyalien369]

i feel like my mom is always mad at me (not always but anxiety is the exaggerator) and that's why i keep having dreams where we're fighting and i get very mad and im still mad at her when i wake up for some reason as if what she did in the dream was actually her fault. but idk. i never feel comfortable talking about my struggles with her and im not sure why. is it that im afraid of people in general thinking im begging for attention or something or am i afraid of her response specifically? my memory is so shit so i cant bring myself to a specific example but theres just this feeling in my head that if i get personal with her shes going to ridicule me for some reason. like maybe, i guess, i don't complain about work anymore because then she one ups me about how she works TWO jobs and i have sooo many days off and blah blah blah like okay man but youre physically abled and shit and im not. just because i dont have some horrible debilitating illness diagnosed doesn't mean im not fucking struggling through everyday. you dont know half the shit i go through every day because i stopped telling you a long ass time ago. i stopped when i was a teenager because no one ever believed me. why would i have reason to think anyone would now? i just get slapped with a "fibromyalgia" diagnosis and told to go home. hey, what about my balance problems? my lack off appetite and subsequent weight loss? my constant migraines? my daily pain? whatever man. she doesn't know any of it. i don't tell her. why would i ever think she would believe it? i dont know if im justified in thinking that, but im terrified of finding out, so i never do. i keep it all to myself like i always have. yep. it always works. im doing great. justt peachy. god, i feel like she barely knows me. does that make me terrible? i don't even want to talk to her anymore. i just want to silently slink off to my room for the night. i never know how to bring any of this shit up. my dad may have been explosive when it came to criticizing him, but my mom wasn't far fucking behind. and she likes to pretend they're so different. i guess i get it, i have rejection sensitive dysphoria, so even polite corrections feel like shots to the face, but i dont react by vehemently lashing out and stubbornly defending myself. i just shut up, shut down and leave to cry. but they get angry. and theyll insist they're right. and you can never ever change their mind about nearly anything. we don't talk about cops anymore. i try to stop my siblings from saying stuff like acab because i know shes going to get pissy and defensive about it. when they dont live with her they forget how sensitive she is. i used to be annoyed when theyd feel bad for me for still living with her. but fuck, i get it now. trying to build a long term relationship with her kind of just... hits this wall. you cant get vulnerable with her. it feels too uncomfortable. you feel like you're going to be judged, because you HAVE been. its not an unreasonable assumption. and its BROKEN us. where else am i going to go? i dont have a relationship, no friends to go to, and she's dependent on me too.

.... we're going to have to break the uncomfortable silence eventually. its only hard to talk if you don't try. if this keeps brewing, we're only going to drift apart. and then we'll just have a bunch of regrets...... i wonder if she thinks these things too. i wonder if she wants to be vulnerable, but doesn't want to put the burden on me. you cant exactly read other peoples minds. ..... i cant start tonight. but i.. i often find that i misread her emotional state. i tend to think shes upset with me when shes quiet . but most of the time shes just doing something and its fine. i always assume. fuck. i wish i just had a normal relationship with my parents. does anyone have that? that would be fucking nice.

[penguin--person]

for the character asks HITS YOU WITH MY ANEMONE BEAM ‼️‼️‼️‼️

AHHH NEM BEAM!!! THE NEM BEAM!!!! AHHH

favorite thing about them honestly i love her whole character!!! nem might even be my fave iwatex character.. i love her design (her big big hair and the big switch between her teen self to a helios soldier and her star freckles) and i love her attitude !! and i love that she always, always turns to the helios, its such a cool thing - it sucks for her, but like, thematically its awesome.. i love her growth and i love her soo much. but . to be totally honest. i love her big hair. its awesome

least favorite thing about them unsure.. it sucks she always turns to the helios and becomes a soldier, but thats !! cool thematically !! mm. not silly enough

favorite line I FORGOR !! ANY OF HER LINES... i rlly like the scene where you save her from the 'dog' though!!! i love that shes still got it in her to cry. after going through so much, kom dying, dating vace, being a soldier, she still has it in her to cry for sol when they get seriously wounded, might die. its rlly neat. ohh i also like it when she runs up to koms dead body 👍and cries and wails. OH i also love her rightful insistance that her scales are cool and how she wants cool scars... and i also love her event where you get matching tattoos!!!! i love her whole get-better arc...

brOTP VIC 👍👍👍VICTORY MY GOOD FRIEND VICTORY!!! they'd get along i think.. vics like. lived their whole life (well, until they land) with the helios !! i think they'd get along:) enemies to friends i think maybe bc vic could be mean

OTP oh mannn.. who knows ?!? (forgets everything about exocolonist ever) ... mm .. uhh . .. umm .. synth x nem is cute but not a true pair .. umm . uhh .. umm.. sol i suppose!! idk 👍👍

nOTP n

random headcanon

like every fave character of mine shes on the aro spectrum 💪💪💪aroace maybe even. who knowx... i dont rlly have any like. thoughts on how or where on the spectrum she'd fall. wait ok this lets me talk about an interesting iwatex thing to me like !! so, they have information on earth - i love iwatex worldbuilding btw - but not everyone is all that interested in it. like, sol doesnt study up on it, anemone (iirc) finds learning about it lame and stuff, you know? its like, theres cool stuff in thsi world (like, past civilisations) that i dont learn about !! you know? like umm . i find it all cool!! awesome!!! but its like. lik.e. gouhh. ok onto my point. can you imagine like, the new gender and sexuality and who knows what spectrums they made on vertumna? theyre making whole new genders there!!! how many of queer words and stuff did they take with them?? you know !! how much remained !! i dont know . anemone probs wouldnt know the words to describe her sexuality in words we know, right?? if she was aro . but she'd still be it to me !! or maybe something else? like. goddd man. theyre making whole new genders and sexualities on vertumna. shes also TRANS of course.dont ask me how. and lesbianl.and everything ever. shes QUEER she doesnt know the words!! shes just queer dude shes just queerrrr

unpopular opinion i dont know what the popular opinions surrounding nem are:( uukkmm... :(( sorry

song i associate with them OH DUDE i was just thinking about how this song

is nemcore the other day!!! almost messaged you about it.. almost drew redrew some parts of this as her.. the songs about shutting out grief, that its just something you have to accept, nothing you can do about it, people will die and youre stupid for being sad about it. when the helios arrive and the vertumna celebration happens, nem says "we should be grieving, not celebrating", give or take.. so i think this is a very. post helios arrival nem. when they teach her to fight about it n stuff. "something about this doesn't seem okay/i hear my voice as if its really far away/my shadow darkens under the sun" "i'm ready to be blinded by the breaking day/you'd think by now the chains come undone, but i'm afraid of breaking into a run" "i chose to shut my eyes, you (vace) chose to bare your teeth" but nem doesnt have such a "whats the point in pushing back against the mill that grinds the world to dust" mindset, does she? shes fighty. she believes shes on the right side of things.WAIT I KNOW!!! I KNOW A SONG!!!

maybe??? oughhh man youre getting a BIG POST... if anyhting this is a solcore song. to me. ive wanted to send it to u for some time but i was scawed youd think im cringe .. like a LOSER!!! its SWAG its a COOL SONG and i LIKE IT

favorite picture of them

i love this one. shes happy. its def post her breakup with vace. shes HAPPY shes HANGING OUT shes AUNT NEM!!! sjes SILLY!!! shes HAPPY i want the best for her

i think nemmie is my fave exo character hehe...

[bubsub69]

Entry 1

entries 1-13 were written pre-tumblr

12/05/2023 4:08

4am what better time to start a diary, who knew waking up for 9am classes and then at noon on the next day and then 9am etc could fuck up your sleep schedule.

But yeah… why start a secret encrypted diary now? the first one i've ever made? idk, im just tired and afraid and sick of being lonely and touch starved and all the other stuff

Definetely didnt help to scroll through r/niceguys and seeing the I'm 21 kissless virgin that was bullied and ignored by girls that isnt sexist and racist and doesnt do drugs and thinking wow its literally me and then it being followed by females owe me sex the post: https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/12n0m5q/ngvc_im_not_a_sexist_but_females_owe_me_sex/

cause you know… what if i become like this, what if i become an even bigger nuisance than i already am and/or fuck up my chances of ever finding someone, it's especially worrysome that i felt bad for some of the guys, you know simpathizing with the kind of people that call women whores for not wanting the nice guy, cant believe i went to the subreddit because of the omoriboy soy parody (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahPdX90_6jg).

And then there's the someone i found ish just gonna call her D She replied to my post on the femdompersonals subreddit and it was pretty close to love at first sight, but probably very one sided, i mean shit she was now moving from the us to porto what better luck could i want. But she's been very busy, especially with the moving, it took from her texting me on the 26 of april to the 7th of may just to have a 1 hour call.

And boy that call was something, i literally think it was the only time i was genuinely happy in like.. i dunno a month? a year? more? i couldnt even sleep that night, i really needed that call cause i thought she was just fucking with me at that point, you know pretending to be interested and catfishing me for something but no i got a 1 hour call and she even showed me her face at the end, i was kinda expecting something sexual but no it was just getting to know each other which is fine for a first call, she's a really cool and interesting girl, i did think it was weird she just went to walk her dog mid conversation but i guess its something that cant wait, it probably had to pee as well.. maybe it was actually nice of her not to hang up on the call while she was walking the dog.

But yeah i'm kind of back at square one, shes not busy with moving but she has a million hobbies apparenly that she balances with her work and learning a new language and all that stuff, shes had a non specified workshop and a ceramics class as excuses which.. yeah im doubting if shes actually doing, i even commented wow you have a lot of hobbies which i was scared of doing cause i didnt want to imply shes lying even if i have the gut feeling she is, and it makes me feel awful to not trust her, but honestly i think i'd be fine with all that if she just put some initiative in texting, literally the only time she texted first was for a link to a game that she didnt even comment on, really makes ya wonder is she doing some 'woman games™' or just fucking with me or just seeing how far she can push me.. fuck i am becoming an incel, cause you know its the classic i have a life outside of you, you cant just expect me to make time for you everyday but fuck maybe the first call was a bad ideia cause now i just crave more, i seriously think theres some potential here but not if she doesnt have time for me, which im obviously not entitled to but ofc i still want it.

im just so scared of texting her, if i do it too often i might annoy her, if i dont do it enough she might forget about me.. i dont even know whats worse, i tried texting every other day but that also seems like too much, i dunno do i just wait for her to text me and make a call appoinment, it also kind of doesnt help i dont even know her name or age, granted she doesnt know my name either but yeah its another layer of anonymity that i want to get rid of, maybe i should try on the weekend, its when we had the call and she might have time, we'll see

She did kind of mention meeting up one day, dont know if she was just being nice of something, but i just wish i knew how she feels about me, or just get some advice with texting her, i dont want to be disingenuous either and write what someone else tells me to, how do i balance being needy and not annoying.

and theres also the voice.. i'm honestly starting to worry im losing control to the self degrading voice i have inside me, that thing is real mean, its whats making me distrust her and shit, i even thought i 'defeated' it with the call but it just came back same as before. The youre useless and an annoyance and all those thoughts are kind of starting to worry me a bit, especially since the suicide thoughts are becoming a bit too common, im still far from it, im too scared to do it, but the first step of commiting suicide is having the reason to do it, and i also think im kind of becoming a psycopath, not in the edgy way its just ive become so apathetic lately, the 'mom would be sad' strategy doesnt work at all cause im so sick of her, between being annoying and not trusting me and being dumb and the shit she did to my cousin and kind of being blamed cause shes getting unknown disease cause of stress, ive kind of grown to hate her a bit i did cry a bit when i got my cousin's graduation ribbon (its a thing here, you write shit like good job and good luck), reading the only ribbon that i got that wasnt just generic garbage made me tear up a bit, not immediately just when i got home, and it didnt help when she hugged me and said if you ever leave pls take me with you, so yeah maybe im not apathetic i just hate my mother

There's also my cat, im kind of getting… idk sick of him too angry, it just feels like he doesnt like me sometimes, which is absurd he comes to greet me and only me when i arrive and hes actually been sleeping a bit with me tonight and yesterday, but the biting when i pet him is really annoying.. what am i saying its just cat stuff its normal. I am feeling kinda weird when i pet him and think damn i wish i was the one being petted (not by him ofc), you know just lying on girls lap and being petted, r/cuddle_slut really made me realize how fucking touch starved i am.

Or maybe i should just move on from her.. maybe she doesnt want that kind of relationship, i really dont want to start talking to someone else while im talking with her tough, feels real scummy, i kind of did that with someone on skype, i had a couple of sessions with her but she kind of stopped texting me as i was talking to D which was lucky, but in those sessions i had full video on and she didnt even use her voice so i guess its kind of fair, she was also the one that took the initiative texting so who knows maybe shes doing what im planning on doing, letting her text first which didnt really work out for her cause i didnt and now our last message is from the 28th. typing this really discouraged me from the let her text first and see what happens strategy, i guess ill settle for trying on the weekend tough this saturday i have the ribbon party so hopefully i have time and energy to call her

Maybe ill just try some keyholding, just to do something sexual that isnt just showing my junk and locking it or putting my finger in my ass for the skype girl, but the problem with keyholding is that it might take some time.. what if while im locked D wants to do something and i reveal i've been """unfaithfull""" i think im gonna wait a bit more for her i really want things to work out with her she just seems like a really cool person but im worried im too much of a loser for her, the very busy woman who managed commitees has a million hobbies and her boyfriend who's a stay at home gamer

I guess that's it for first entry, hopefully when I'm rereading this im in a better state, or maybe im showing this to my therapist or hey maybe even D or whatever her name is, overall not bad for a first diary entry i think, i got to rant a bit even if it was just on a keyboard, i think im gonna start writing here a bit, some non sad stuff as well hopefully

maybe ill dump this on some ai text and see what happens (garbage pretty much)

See you on entry 2 i guess.

PS wow its 5:15 was not expecting to spend an hour writing this

[icarusredwings]

To awnser that first question yes, Theres lots of art of Wade being "the fun dad" swinging Ellie around and doing dangerous stuff with Gabby while Logans holding sleeping baby laura and scolding him that hes going to injure ellie because ellie dosn't have a regenerative power

(yet, she actually has the BEST regenerative power because unlike wade Ellie regenerates as a teenager. FOREVER. So even if you splashed her skin with acid and it looked terrible, she could just... idk... jump in traffic and suddenly she's like a perfect baby skinned 15 year old again. Imagine how problematic for your love life would it be for your literal father to be deadpool COUGH who would kill him just for forgetting to open the door for you COUGH AND turning into a teen when ever you died. Imagine you come home to your 45 year old husband and suddenly you're 15.... well shit gotta get divorced now!)

But yes wade is more likely to be reckless and forget how fragile the children are compared to Logan. Logans the type of play fighting (with laura) where all his attacks are deflective and dosn't stab her but wade will infact stab her because he wants her to be ready for anything (and he knows he cant actually hurt her) I imagine her faking being hurt, making wade go "GAASSPP!! OMG!! IM SO SORRY-" only for Laura to stab him in the eye or something. They both play extremely dirty but Gabby plays rougher then anyone. She's only like 13-14ish and if shes being raised around Deadpool she definitely is gonna have some tricks up her sleeve, esspecially since she has scars and its canon that gabby thinks deadpools body mutation is really cool. And lets just say she didn't call her dad to help her fight zombie animals, she called her papa, who heard "Its illegal" and said "im on my way" mid merc job.

Actually, if I counted correctly, Wolverine has 23ish(+) kids.

I can so see him at orientation for X university scoping out children that hes going to mentor and growls at anyone who even thinks about it. That tiger mutant child? Dibs. Wolf kid? His. Kid who can turn his entire arm into a sword like structure and is insecure about it? MINE

They're known as Xkits (Xkids if taken under any one elses) and the staff are fully aware that if they see Logan randomly leave with a group of kids that they better not interfere.

Wade has multiple group picture from every year of Xkits. The group just keeps getting larger and honestly he's seen Logan carry a kid by a harness in his teeth while carrying two others in his arms.

"Whatcha got there?"

Logan drops the kid, who skillfully falls onto their feet. "A smoothie" he says, with a kid on his back, holding 2 under his arms and one now sitting by his feet. (This is probably gabby, shes the most feral of his kids so far that ive seen)

"Nice. And those?"

"What, these monkeys? Training exercise. Obviously."

"Right.....Logan you brought them home."

"They have off campus passes."

"Signed by...?" 🤨

".....me.." 😔

Would it interest you to know that mama wolverines play with their kittens to help their hunting skills and prey drive develop so when they’re tiny she’ll let them win but when they’re nearly adults she’ll stop letting them win and actually play fight them? Also they’re born so tiny omg like OG beanie babies

Thank you for this info dump kind stranger but you forget im literally the one who made a post about wolverine facts (lol)

"Don't recite the old text to me! I was there when it was written!"

Logan probably about the declaration of independence.