#theres reasons she cant stand it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
shadow--writer · 2 years ago
Note
5. 16.
5. a song that makes my muse sad 16. a song that my muse can’t stand
music asks
~~~~
5.
16.
lmao
2 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 10 months ago
Text
...
#its so weird. i feel like march 5th went on for more than a day somehow. i guess that's just bc we were awake for just abt all of it#my dad wanted to start doing things immediately so he was calling and scheduling all day. we went to the funeral home we went to the store#and it was weird bc as we were moving around it was like wow we r a 4 person family now. this is it. and theres so much to do after a person#dies. or at least there is when they were loved so much and jesus christ my mom was one of the best ppl a LOT of ppl knew. she did so much#for so so many ppl. and with her childhood she had every reason to b a fuck up but no she was kind and selfless and amazing. her mother is#trying to bask in the attention of her death when its like: truely go fuck urself. her being such a good person has nothing to do with u. u#treated her appallingly. fuck off. and fucking everyone knows it. god. she is a product of her grandparents kindness. and it sounds like her#dad was amazing like her. but he tragically died in a car wreck when she was 3. she was in the car. no one in my mums family believes in a#god now. too many bad things happened to the shining gems in a collection of wild alcoholics. but its not all bad. my family's staying close#my dad is taking it hard bc this means hes alone now and my mum took care of so many things bc she was so smart and he feels so dumb. he#feels he didnt deserve her. hes working on giving more hugs now. and hes using us to anxiously talk things out the way he did with mom#which is good. i cant imagine if this happened when we werent 3 adults and he was windowed with 3 kids to raise himself. and its funny. were#saying things we never would have told her. we looked thru pictures of her and she was so so beautiful. a total smoke show. my parents were#a cute couple who produced cute kids. and my mom had trouble communicating and being affectionate tho we knew she loved us there was#distance. theres a pic of my dad pulling her close and shes being tippef towarf her while standing away and thats indicitive of their#relationship. they were 2 partners who lived together independently and that worked but its sad bc my mum couldnt b vulnerable in her#expression. ppl r being so kind tho. ill be in ohio now for like 2.5 more weeks as the funeral stuff shakes out. we have to have 2 bc she#grew up away from her and so many ppl loved her in both locations. she was a popular lady. its so weird to b here on pause. but i feel clear#in my head. i think this will change a lot of my outlook on life. its nice to focus on the person she was and not the horrible 12hrs where i#saw her half dead. i cant imagine how awful it was for my sisters and dad to see her downslide into death. she didnt expect this to b The#Fever that killed her but it did and now she'll never finish a million things. and the house is full of pill bottles and all her junk and#unopened amazon packages and a truck with the fuel left on empty. bc she was an absent minded goofball. ay. well miss her so much#unrelated
14 notes · View notes
intersexghoul · 1 month ago
Text
Sorry I gotta rant in the tags like a maniac because we have nobody to talk to about this without risking our closest friendship. Nobody is required to read and honestly I'd encourage ignoring it
#fuck we are falling apart and need to not be the person they lean on for a while because things cant keep going on like this#we broke up for a REASON. a big fucking reason. were obviously better as friends#it wasnt even a problem when we were fwbs we could just exist under the knowledge that it was Just Sex and nothing more so WHY now that it's#also ended are we constantly fighting feelings for them and having so many intrusive thoughts about getting back with them. its not fair to#them. theyve JUST been through a really shitty breakup and we are NOT a good enough person for them. and god help us if they somehow find#out or work it out or we get too drunk or high and say something. i think they'd feel betrayed.#and if they do find out then what about the concert in march. how the fuck would we be meant to spend that long together if they're#uncomfortable being around us. just throw over 200 down the drain? sell our ticket to someone they can actually stand being around?#theyve been so nice and sweet and soft with us all weekend and we cant stop overthinking it. i hate the thoughts of 'what if they still like#us that way too?' its not fair. its not fair to them its not fair to us#havent we been through enough without losing our closest friend AGAIN? i don't know which is worse#at least when 🟢 died we knew she didnt hate us. we can mourn her without looking pathetic. if they hate us and feel betrayed that weve#started falling for them again then we can't even mourn. we'll look like a creep. a predator. i cant stand any of this.#like was it not enough that we already failed them once so badly that we hate ourselves? now this? we turned off our ability to feel love#YEARS AGO. why is it back#why is it fucking our entire life up AGAIN.#theres nobody we can talk to. we're not entirely sure who we even are right now. just so many of us under so much pressure. i cant begin to#even count who's stuck up front with me and the host
0 notes
yiangchen · 11 months ago
Text
#absolutely crazy to me that there are so many songs....#something is just so off about the production in a lot of these#first off the lover first dance remix is superior and should be the album version#the strings and the piano???? INSANE.#would have fit so well as an album closer actually#the man i want to love because the lyrics are so fun but joel little ruined it...#theres a synth pop remix on youtube though that i ADORE#the archer has an unsatisfying build (production wise)#i understand that it's supposed to represent anxiety but it just doesnt hit for me...which is tragic because i have a LOT of anxiety#someone mashed it up with the instrumentals in one million reasons by lady gaga and its so good!!#it hits so different as a piano ballad#i think he knows....EXCELLENT bridge.#like....so so so so good#but i cant stand the falsetto in the chorus???#it sounds so bad to me im sorry!!#the acoustic version on the eras tour though...IM OBSESSED#the ways she sings the chorus is fucking wiiiiiild and i loveee#miss americana i kind of like but the cheerleader part ruins it...#i know its part of the metaphor and i appreciate that but i just dont like the execution of it#theres a mashup with the instrumentals of physical by dua lipa though AND ITS SO GOOD#Me! would have served as a piano ballad and thats all i have to say and idc that taylor thinks it would be too sad!!#she is incorrect !#daylight drags for me#i love the callback to red#and i love the little talking outro#but the song itself drags...#the production is lacking something#theres a mashup with chemical by post malone that makes the song a bit more upbeat and it elevates it so well!#taylor swift
0 notes
ghostprinceiii · 1 year ago
Text
As soon as I get home I am never leaving my house again.
#im having a horrible morning :D#I've been staying with my brother the past few days for guilt reasons and as nice as he and his girlfriend are this house is#my own personal hell. In the area that im staying everything is cold and damp (including the toiletpaper) and I think ive been rubbing mold#on my face because my towel wont dry. I cant go two inches without seeing or accidentally stepping on a bug and theres dirt and debris#literally everywhere. There are so many goddamn stairs. I tried to actually make something to eat today that was more substantial and more#effort than like a fistful of goldfiah crackers. The knife I had seemed very dull. My noodles are probably undercooked because I don't#understand the stovetop. When I tried to pour my soup out of the pot the shape of it made it so half the liquid in there just poured#straight onto the stove. All of the chairs in this province are so goddamn uncomfortable. I am miserable as I knew I would be#and I want to go home. I miss my cat and my ability to create a semi-sterile environment. My flight (which is itself a horrible stressor an#impending miserable experience + I had to spend $350 for a flight I don't want to be on to get home from a trip I didnt want to go on)#isnt until Monday and its only Wednesday today. I already always feel like Im seeing bugs and like theyre crawling on me.#I cannot live somewhere where thats actually *true*. I'm also constantly being unsubtly judged for using a mobility aid and any time I talk#to my mom she doesnt listen to literally anything I say and theres so much goddamn noise in this house and I dont wanna say anything to my#brother because thats *rude* and *ungrateful* but the only texture I can stand in this place is the tiny couch I have to curl up but keep#vigilant on because not even that is safe from bugs!!! And all of the counters are sticky!!! And they made me get expensive groceries that#I cant make myself use! I'm in a sensory and emotional nightmare and in constant physical pain! And then people get upset with me for being#miserable to be around! What the fuck do they want me to do!?!?#anyways.#ghostprince posts#vent#delete later#I want to go home.#update: I took like two bites of my food and immediately became nauseous. I've also become convinced there's bugs in there. Great.
0 notes
deadaggressor · 1 year ago
Text
anyway today i will write up the destiny cagalli meta i shouldnt Have to write anyway because her story is so blatantly about having to deal with political misogyny and her trying to adhere to her fathers ideals as a leader, believing that this is whats best for her country so she sits and takes it despite hating it with every fiber of her being
1 note · View note
my-wildflwr · 2 years ago
Text
i will rant in the tags cause i feel bad about it
0 notes
star-girl69 · 11 months ago
Text
Let Me Love You Like A Woman
Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader
—-
synopsis: you and clarisse broke up two months ago, and when you’re selected to go on a mission together, clarisse just wants you to let her love you.
a/n: i feel feelings about this one….. anyways i hope you all enjoy!!
Let Me Love You Like A Woman - Lana Del Rey
******i want to make this clear: there is absolutely NO smut in this fic. terms like “fuck buddies” and “friends with benefits” are used but only bc i cant think of anything else lmao. all they do is makeout and it is suggestive at times but there is NO SMUT
warnings: this is so bad tbh, what is clarisse doing, she’s so confused my little ladybug, y/n my other ladybug is confused too, OH MY GOD THERES ONLY ONE BED, swearing, hate make out sessions but the hate is one sided, kissing obvi!, deep talks about our feelings which is hard for clarisse, angst, mentions of death blood and monsters, lovesick!! slightly desperate!!! clarisse my cutesy little ladybug, exes/enemies w benefits so like mentions of sex and such, very suggestive lol, as an actual server the restaurant scene hurt me to write lol, but for the plot, tell me if i missed anything!!
—-
The Big House is the one place in camp you’re really unfamiliar with. It’s not like you haven’t been there before, it’s just you don’t go there that often.
And unknown places scare you.
There’s hiding places you don’t know about, blind spots you aren’t aware of- corners and small secrets and rules that you haven’t learned yet.
You make your way up the steps and through the porch, the familiar part- you pass by the infirmary and the random office no one uses- until you make it to the connected gondola Chiron and Mr. D. spend most of their time at.
You’re about to turn and enter when a familiar figure appears in front of you.
It hurts to think about how you’ll always know it’s her.
She seems just as shocked to see you but covers it up quickly.
“Y/N,” she smirks, looking you up and down.
You stop, go to turn around and march off in the other direction when you remember you can’t.
Clarisse La Rue doesn’t deserve the dirt under your feet, even though she would probably eat it if you asked- charmspeak used or not.
“Clarisse,” you mumble, and she frowns. You never really called her by her name when you dated, and you know it bothers her now to hear you say it.
That’s exactly why you do it, of course, but the part of you that knows everything about her and will always love her squeezes at the sight of her poorly-hidden sad face.
She’s been slipping up lately. It warms your heart to know that’s because of you.
“What are you doing here?” she asks, genuinely curious.
As a cabin leader, it’s not unusual for Clarisse to be here. But she knows you’re scared of the unknown, and she knows it’s just not in your routine to come here.
“Dunno,” you shrug. “Got called here.”
Her eyes light up. “How funny, so did I.”
You roll your eyes, fighting against the parts of your body that want to run towards her and the parts that want to run away. Instead, you listen to your brain and feel her staring at you as you turn the corner into the gondola.
“Y/N, Clarisse,” Chiron greets with a pleasant smile, setting down a hand of cards face-down. You almost laugh at Mr. D’s disappointed look- Chiron isn’t the trainer of demigods for no reason.
“Yeah, yeah, welcome,” Mr D says, seeming entirely uninterested. You both stand there slightly awkwardly.
Chiron is known to be blunt, so he of course jumps right in.
“We have a mission for the two of you.”
“The two of us? Like, just the two of us?”
The words come out before you can stop them, fingers twisting together and mouth slamming shut. You’re fine, you try to tell yourself, even though your mind and body agree on one thing- being too close to Clarisse will just lead you right back to her.
Clarisse tries to hide her hopeful smile, but you see through it. You loved her for so long, of course you see through it.
“Uh… yes,” Chiron says. You clench your fists.
Mr D seems interested now, especially after your outburst.
“Oh,” he laughs. “I see.” He gestures between the two of you, “there’s bad blood.”
Chiron presses his lips together.
“Nothing that doesn’t make us capable of going on this mission,” Clarisse says, taking a step forward. She smiles at you, but doesn’t make a move to touch you. At least she knows some limits, even if they don’t matter now.
“Well,” Chiron continues, seeming to regret his decision but deciding it’s too late. “Y/N. Your charmspeak, I feel, will be extremely important to this mission. And, Clarisse, daughter of Ares- your skills in battle are nothing to scoff at. There is an item I require the retrieval of. A friend left it in a P.o. box in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. The journey is not particularly perilous, but being a demigod carries an affinity for danger.”
You nod, crossing your arms over your chest.
“I trust the two of you will be able to put aside your… ‘bad blood’ and complete your mission?”
Maybe this mission will be good for you. It certainly nowhere near the kleos of a quest, but more so gives you bonus points with Chiron. That could be helpful.
Clarisse looks at you.
“Oh, yes. Don’t worry.”
—-
“Y/N.”
You walk away from Clarisse pointedly, hoping she’ll take the hint.
You’ve decided you’ll do this quest. If you ever did want to be a cabin leader in the future- you either had to be well liked or the best. As a daughter of Aphrodite, you were already well liked- conversation and flattery came as easy to you as breathing.
Even before you learned how to use your charmspeak, you could sweet talk almost anyone into doing whatever you wanted. You really needed an A on that test? A few tears and some master manipulation- suddenly that A was yours.
But, Chiron needed to like you too.
You do this quest for him- which he choose you for- and then you earn even more of his respect.
It was such a simple exchange. It could be such a simple exchange, except if the girl hot on your heels wasn’t your partner.
She finally manages to grab your wrist and whip you back around so you’re facing her.
She smiles.
“I’ll always catch you, you know. No use in running, really.”
“At least I’ll go down fighting,” you say, looking anywhere but her eyes like portals that suck you in. She’s so close to you.
If this was the before you would wrap your arms around her neck and hers would go to your waist. Even if you were mad at her, she would press her body close to yours and kiss the corner of your lips- Clarisse made it her life’s mission to know every inch of you, and she succeeded. She would know the exact way to calm you down and get you to look at her and hear her out.
And most of the time you were being dramatic, or simply joking, and then she would kiss you and it would all be fine again.
Except it’s not the before. It’s the after, and your heart hurts being so close to her.
“What do you want, Clarisse?” you sigh.
“I just wanted to talk to you.”
Your chest blazes. “Go talk to literally anyone else.”
Her face hardens.
“How many times do I have to tell you before you understand that you are the only person I care about?”
You rip your hand away from her grip.
“Shut up,” you hiss, turning and walking away.
“Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow at the gates,” you can feel her smile. “And then I’ll see you all on our mission, huh?”
“You’re crazy!”
—-
You walk into the Hermes cabin and fall face first onto your best friend Marley’s bed.
She looks up from her book and laughs.
“Oh, babe, what happened?” she asks, scratching the back of your scalp as you pull yourself up into your elbows and place your head in her lap.
“Mission,” you groan.
She stops. “A mission? For Chiron? Gods, Y/N that’s amazing-”
“With Clarisse.”
She takes her hand away from your scalp and moves to your chin, lifting you up.
As much as Clarisse hurt you and you hate her, Marley had always had a special sort of hatred for her. Even when you were happy and dating- you would tease her that maybe she’s actually a daughter of Ares, seeing how angry she was.
She was always overprotective, she insisted she just had a bad feeling about her- but eventually she stopped and you thought you could have it all.
“I’m sorry,” Marley laughs. “I don’t think I heard you right.”
You put your lips right up to her ear.
“MISSION WITH CLARISSE-”
“Y/N!” she yells and pushes you away, groaning as she holds her ear. “My ears are bleeding now, oh my Gods-”
“You’ll be fine,” you groan, settling back into her lap. “I’m the one who actually has to go with her.”
“Actually?” she whispers after a tense moment. “You actually have to go with her?”
“It’s fine,” you mumble.
“It’s not. Maybe I-I can talk to Chiron, or maybe I could come with you, huh?”
“No, thanks, Marls. It’s alright, really.”
She stares down at you, head tilted slightly to the side. Marley has always been exceptionally good at hiding her emotions. But you can tell she’s angry. She’s scared.
She’s your best friend and you will always love her in the most special way.
“I don’t want you to go,” she whispers.
The Hermes cabin is always a bustle of activity. But when you’re just here with Marley, it’s the two of you. It’s perfect. It’s what you’ve always wanted- selfishly- to feel special. You feel special with her eyes on you, your head in her lap. She’s your best friend.
You put your hand on her face.
“As much as I hate it, we both know Clarisse won’t let anything happen to me. I’ll be safe.”
“Yeah, but what if she does something to you?”
What if she does absolutely nothing and you fall in love with her all over again?
You always thought that all that stuff about feeling your heart physically break couldn’t be true- but you know it is. You felt it break and every time you look at Clarisse and it can’t be like it was before your heart breaks a little more.
Clarisse acted like you were some big secret that was a chore to hide, and then when you were in her arms she would call you the prettiest girl. It was like whiplash, feeling her touch so tenderly and then not even being allowed to look at her in public. And you wanted so badly to tell everyone that she was yours and you were hers- but she just couldn’t.
And you don’t care about the reason behind that, not after that one night, not after she told you she could never love you.
She doesn’t really want you. She acts like she does, but she only misses you on the surface. Sure, you miss her body, but you miss your late night talks and the way she was always there to protect you, the way she made you feel. You like the person you are with her.
She wants an idea of you, she wants you under her, she wants power and control.
You think maybe a part of her really does regret losing you that night. But, she laid it all out that night. What she feels doesn’t make up for what she said. She doesn’t love you because she’s insecure, because she’s self-serving and power hungry.
She makes you feel stupid waiting for her, but why would you wait for someone else when you could wait for her to come back? You don’t like the unknown, and Clarisse is the one thing you really know.
You look into Marley’s eyes now.
“It will be good for me,” you whisper. “I’ll earn Chiron’s respect.”
Marley kisses your cheek.
“I know. I just don’t want you to go, and I know that makes me selfish but- still.”
“I know, Marls. I know,” you whisper. But this will be good for you, and it’s already been done. You already accepted it.
Marley helps you pack and you watch her anger. You watch her roughness, you watch the fire in her eyes- and Gods, does it make you feel special to have a friend like her.
You only wish you could make Clarisse feel like that too.
—-
The bus ride is boring.
Clarisse, for some merciful reason, decides not to torture you and instead throw her dagger up and down.
But you’re bored.
You’ve been reading a book Marley lended you, something boring and wonderfully distracting about the history of the four wind gods- you think about the wind and not about the way Clarisse’s thigh is pressed up next to yours.
It’s only been two months.
As much as you hate it, you won’t even admit it to Marley, but you’ll admit it to yourself in the quietness of the back of the bus.
You close the book and stuff it into your backpack.
You miss her.
“I’m bored,” you announce before you can second guess yourself.
“Okay,” Clarisse hums, picking at a speck of hardened dirt on her dagger. “I know a lot of things we could do to remedy that.”
Your cheeks flush, but you hold your ground. “I’m not going to kiss you. One, it smells like shit back here and two, we’re not dating anymore.”
“True, but doesn’t that just make it more fun?”
“What?”
Her hand moves to your thigh and you let yourself sink into the before.
“We aren’t supposed to- your best-fuckin’-friend would skin me alive. But we both know you want to.”
“I don’t want my lips anywhere near you.”
She just smiles at you, and you suddenly realize you’ve been staring into her eyes this entire time.
She takes her hand off of you and turns away, and this part of you aches so badly for the before- but it’s after. But she doesn’t love you and she just wants you.
But you want her too. You want her so bad, and maybe if you just let yourself sink into her one more time then you can move on. One good goodbye and you’ll be fine.
“Take a nap, then,” she suggests. “We still have another hour before the next rest stop, I’ll wake you up.”
“Okay,” you mumble, a part of you loathing listening to her, but a nap sounds good.
—-
You sleep the best you ever have since you broke up.
Clarisse was always sneaking into your bed, or you into hers, and she was always so warm and made you feel so safe. You always slept with her. And while you could still fall asleep fine without her- it just wasn’t the same.
You wake up to the sound of the bus doors opening and people talking around you.
“Y/N,” Clarisse whispers. “Wake up.”
You realize your head is on her shoulder.
You push her away from you, she just laughs and stands up.
“So stubborn,” she mumbles, leaning down to dig into her bag for the money Chiron gave you.
You resist the urge to say something snarky back, instead choosing to squeeze past her and out into the aisle.
She’s following behind you in a second, her bag zipping up and getting thrown back under the seat.
She’s right up in your ear.
“I know you hate me,” she whispers. “But you can’t just go running off. What if there was a monster right outside the doors?”
The two of you step off of the bus, the bright sunshine making your squint.
You pull up your shirt and pat your hip where your dagger rests.
“I’d kill it.”
You both know you probably couldn’t.
She laughs. “Is that the dagger I gave you?”
Your face freezes but you keep walking into the rest stop.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you huff.
She sticks her fingers through the loop of your jeans and pulls you into an aisle filled with chips. You suddenly find a bag of Cheetos very interesting.
She looks at your face, into your eyes, and traces her fingers over the dagger’s handle.
“Hm, mine.”
You miss her so bad. You never knew it was possible to miss someone this much. You miss her body and her mind and her voice. You miss her hands and her lips and the way she made you feel.
You don’t pull away. How can you pull away?
It was easy to ignore her when she wasn’t right in front of you, but there’s this part of you that loves her and wants to believe her. Then there’s another part that wants to see her suffer like she did to you.
You push her off of you. “Don’t touch me.”
Again, she just smiles, and that’s really starting to piss you off.
—-
You’re somewhere in the middle of Pennsylvania at a bus stop, waiting to cross the lonesome highway to the other side of the street where a train station awaits you.
“Are you okay?” Clarisse asks, and you realize she’s already stepped out onto the road and you’ve been staring off into nothing. You quickly follow her, half running across the road until you get to the sweet, sweet air conditioned station.
“Yeah, ‘m fine.”
In reality, you have to keep yourself distracted so you don’t fall back into her. You’ve decided it not about whether or not you love or want to hear her out- it’s about the way she kisses you and the way her skin feels against yours.
You can want her, here, where no one will know.
You’ll swear her to secrecy, and she’ll shut up just for the chance of more. And you don’t know if you’ll give it to her.
The station is oddly busy.
You have this horribly uneasy feeling.
You make your way into the line anyways, snatching the tickets from where they’re scrunched up in her hand, trying your best to flatten them again.
She laughs. You refuse to feel the way it makes your heart ache. You think about the other reasons she makes your heart ache.
You see something, shiny and black out of the corner of your eye. When you look over, the indented entrance to a janitor’s closet is marked in shadows.
But you trust yourself.
“I think I just saw something,” you whisper.
She still makes you feel safe. She’s one of the most talented warriors at camp and she loves you- even Marley admitted she won’t let anything happen to you.
She follows your gaze. And she doesn’t see anything.
“Okay,” she murmurs. She trusts you too. Her eyes flick between the shortening line and the shadows. “Maybe one more minute then we’re on the train.”
“Yeah,” you agree, slipping your hand into hers. You can hear her inhale sharply. She’s not phased by a potential monster, but you holding her hand makes her face flush.
Why is she so fucking confusing?
As far as you can tell, she just wants to be fuck buddies- so why is she blushing as you hold her hand?
She squeezes your hand, and Clarisse is right, you make it to the front of the line. The man checks your tickets and hole punches them, welcoming you back into the outdoors.
You look over your shoulder, and something shiny reflects in the sunlight, still in the shadows of the building.
“Clarisse.”
She seems to see it too.
“I can’t tell what it is,” you say.
She tugs you along. “I don’t want to find out.”
When you finally step foot onto the train you take your hand from Clarisse’s and look down at the tickets. Cabin 4A. It’s near the front, so you find it fairly quick- just a simple one room cabin.
You quickly barricade yourself inside, drawing the curtains and setting your stuff on the floor.
You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.
“That was tense,” you mutter. Clarisse holds her wrist. She nods, staring down at your feet before sighing.
Somehow, it’s six o’clock. You dig into your snacks, neither of you feeling like leaving the safety of the cabin to go to the dining cart.
The train car has two benches facing each other, overhead storage and a large window. There’s practically no room in between the two benches- the car is maybe 5 feet wide.
You miss Marley. You could always talk to her from across the pavilion during a meal- entire conversations with just your eyes. You miss your siblings, their conversation filling up the silence. Here, there’s nothing.
It’s so silent, and yet it’s that comfortable silence with Clarisse. It makes you miss the before.
That’s all you’ve been doing- missing things and wishing they were different.
The train starts and you stare out the window, the rolling hills and the trees and the small creek. You can feel Clarisse looking at you. You try your best to ignore the way her gaze makes you feel- but you’re alone in this cabin. There’s no one else here. There’s no one else to know if you give in one time.
Something slams against the door.
You breathe in and Clarisse grabs her spear.
“Should I open it?” you whisper, standing up. She sticks out her spear to stop you from moving forward.
The two of you listen, but nothing else happens.
It wasn’t a knock. It sounded sort of like a ball being kicked into the door.
“I’m opening it,” you decide, curiosity killing you, pushing Clarisse’s spear aside.
“Y/N,” she warns, but you’ve already slid open the door.
Absolutely nothing is there. You look out the adjacent windows, down the hallways lined with red carpet.
You shrug. “Nothing’s here-”
It’s cold and scaly when it lands on you.
The same black shiny thing you saw, it’s slithering around your neck, cutting off your air supply immediately. You can’t even scream you’re too scared, hands clawing at your neck but it squeezes and one of its heads rears up to attack your chest-
Clarisse’s spear sails right through its raised head.
It drops, you fall back, gasping, watching as she pins it under her boot and lifts the spear out of it. It’s wriggling and trying to break free- but she stabs it through its other head.
It’s an amphisbaena. A horrible, scaly black snake-sort of thing with a head on each end.
You rub your chest, swallowing a lump in your throat as Clarisse casually picks up the now dead monster and opens the adjacent emergency exit window in the hallway- throwing it out into the middle of nowhere.
She turns back around, frowning at the blood coating the ends of her spear-
You slam into her. You’re breathing so heavily, you still feel like it’s around your neck, but Clarisse carefully wraps her arms around your waist, letting you lean against her as your shaky hands massage your neck.
No one would know.
Her spear falls to the floor.
“Hey, it’s okay, it’s dead,” she whispers, kicking the cabin door closed with her foot.
No one would know.
“Thank you,” you breathe. “Oh, Gods, thank you, Clarisse.”
“No problem,” she says.
No one would know.
“Clar,” you mumble. She stiffens at the nickname. She tenderly brings one hand up to your face, and she wants you just as much as you want her- that’s all this is about. An exchange. You’ll kiss her for the last time and you’ll finally get over her.
“I know,” she mumbles, she feels the burning in her stomach too. You’re connected by that in this one moment, your mutual desire and need. Except she has a need for a new beginning, and you have a need for an end.
It’s so simple.
You both can get what you want from this trip.
“I know,” she says again, her nose touching yours. Your breaths mix in the air. “I know, I miss you so much… so bad, Y/N, you don’t…”
“Show me,” you whisper against her lips, and she does.
You can feel it all, the regret you don’t care about, and the desire and want and need you do care about.
You need to feel more of that. You need to feel special, so when your back hits the the door and her hands are all over you, you tilt your head back and look up at the ceiling, mouth twisted into a moan.
You need her to make you feel special. You don’t feel special without her, without her rough hands and her soft lips. It’s the one trait from your mother that you somewhat despise- the innate need to be the center, to be the focus, to feel special. She’s the only one who has ever made you feel like this.
No one else will ever come close.
“I hate you,” you breathe. You can’t think, all your walls are down. “I hate you so much and I still…. I still…”
She kisses you again so you don’t have to say it.
—-
The bed is scratchy and uncomfortable, but there’s only one- and it’s so tiny you’re pressed right up against Clarisse. She doesn’t wrap her arm around you, even though you wish she would, if only because you’re cold.
Not because you’re still irrecoverably in love with her and you know she won’t. And even if she does, it won’t be in the way you want it.
How can she kiss you like she loves you yet claim she never will? How can one kiss make you so weak in the knees that you’re genuinely considering doing this for any scrap of her you can get?
You stare up the ceiling for a long time, until you come to that weird space where you’re so tired you can’t move and your eyes are closed, but you’re still awake.
She wraps her arm around your waist and kisses your temple.
—-
The next time she kisses you you’ve gotten used to this whole making out with no strings thing.
You’re about to get off the train, so you tidy your stuff and head to the dining cart for pretty pastries and bagels and some fruit. On your way back, maybe 15 minutes left in your ride, someone in a uniform sees two teenage girls heading alone into a room.
When he asks where your parents are, can he see your tickets, you panic and charmspeak him to forget he ever saw this and walk away.
“Close,” you laugh, and Clarisse mumbles some sort of noncommittal agreement before smashing her lips onto yours.
You gasp but kiss her back, just reveling in having her hands on you. Her hands tangle in your hair, tugging back so she has better access to your neck- the side of it already sporting a hickey from last night.
“Did I ever tell you how fucking hot you are when you use your charmspeak?”
“I don’t know,” you mumble, because you can’t think of anything when her lips are on your neck.
—-
The station is luckily only 20 minutes away from the P.o. box, so the walk is quick through the streets of Myrtle Beach. It’s so loud here. There’s cars constantly whizzing past you, people yelling and honking, sirens in the distance. It’s confusing. It’s so different from Camp.
“I fucking hate this place,” you mumble, fidgeting with a loose string on your backpack.
“I do too,” Clarisse answers, but not for the same reasons. Her eyes whip around, searching for anything hiding in the shadows- but the sky is so blue and the sun makes your skin so warm- it seems unfathomable that any monsters would be here.
Of course, they’re here. They just haven’t come out yet.
Clarisse has been angry at the world for as long as you can remember, but you always thought her roughness balanced out with your softness. Ares and Aphrodite, love and war, peace and violence.
You always thought you could bring out that little bit of softness in her.
“On your left!”
Clarisse drags you out of the way just for a man on a bike to speed past you- your eyes flick to the perfectly usable bike lane on the street.
“Asshole,” you mutter.
“Asshole!” Clarisse shouts after him at the same time. He flips you off and continues shouting at more people to move.
Her hand is digging into your arm. She lets go after she huffs, muttering a few more choice words.
She keeps glaring at every honking car and random pedestrian. You roll your eyes when she yells at some random car to go die, laughing.
“Always fuckin’ honking,” she mutters. You know if she ever got behind the wheel, she would do the exact same thing.
“You’re not any better,” you tell her, nudging her hand that’s currently balled up into a fist.
“Yeah, well, I have a reason to be mad.”
Clarisse is angry at the world, but you know she has reasons. She’s not just angry for the sake of being angry, although she finds comfort in the familiar just like you, she is angry at the world that has done nothing but wrong her time and time again.
Sometimes you wish you could have as much fire in you as her. And two months ago, you thought she had enough fire in her for the both of us.
“Why don’t we grab the box and then go to lunch?” you suggest, getting the feeling that Clarisse is about to explode. She looks at you. “We have a few hours until our train back, hm?”
“Yeah, okay.”
—-
Chiron said this mission wasn’t going to be that dangerous, but you are surprised when it really is that easy. You take the key out from the envelope Chiron gave you, opening the blue box and coming out with a small box. It almost looks like some sort of fancy necklace- a long black box with a silver bow on the outside.
“This feels too easy,” Clarisse says as you lean down to carefully place it in your bag.
You shrug. “You’re always so paranoid, just let it all come naturally. Some things are easy, Clar.”
She stares at you for a moment.
“I guess,” she says, sticking out her hand to help you up before you both make your way back out onto the streets.
Her spear is hidden by the mist, strapped to her back, and you’re sure she has a bunch of little daggers strapped all over her. You scan the busy street.
Clarisse snorts at a restaurant called “Mother Earth Green Food” and her eyes light up at the sight of a 80’s style diner- “Mr. Steve’s Burgers and Bacon”.
“We’re going there,” she declares, and you roll your eyes but follow her across the street. It’s not that busy, seeing as it’s still early, so you’re seated quickly. It feels so good and so wrong to be here across from her like this.
It feels like before. Except some sort of alternate reality, where you actually left camp and got to be like this. You still want her and your trip’s not over yet, so you sink into it.
“Hey guys, I’m Miley and I’ll be your server today. What can I get you for drinks?”
She’s got long dirty blonde hair, tied up in two very neat and impressive space buns. Her skin is tan, but you suppose if she lives near the beach then everyone’s skin is tan, really.
“I really like your hair,” you tell her, pointing to the side of her head. She smiles and bounces one of them in her hand.
“Took me forever,” she chuckles. “I love yours, such a pretty color.” You cheeks blush as you thank her.
She smiles at you and goes off to get them, so you turn back to your menu. Clarisse’s foot taps against the floor.
“What are you thinking of getting?”
She sets her menu down and points to some sort of monstrous burger called “The Bomb.”
You laugh. “The Bomb,” you mock. “Will it explode in your stomach, or something?”
She mumbles something under her breath, staring off towards the counter, and you can tell by the look on her face it’s not anything nice.
“What was that?”
She presses her lips together. “Nothing,” she hums.
You shoot her an odd look but she pointedly looks away, and as much as you want to, you decide not to push.
Miley comes back with your drinks, and you thank her as she sets them down. Clarisse mumbles a thank you too after you kick her foot.
“Okay, and what can I get you guys to eat today?”
You have to kick Clarisse again to remind her to say please.
You smile apologetically up at Miley for Clarisse’s sour mood, but she seems not to care, smiling back at you and saying something about how she’ll make sure it’s out quick for you.
“‘I’ll make sure it comes out quick for you,’” Clarisse mocks, her voice a pitch higher.
“Yeah. Isn’t she so nice? And yet here you are treating her like shit.”
“She’s sucking up for a good tip.”
“Or maybe she’s just nice, Clarisse. There are nice people in the world, you know. Not everyone is all dark and brooding or bitchy.”
The silences stretches for a second too long. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.”
You hum, sitting on your hands and staring out the window. It’s times like this your miss your mortal childhood, having access to electronics meant you were never bored. You debate taking out the book Marley loaned you, but you don’t get the chance to.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” Clarisse announces. “Come with me.” She’s already walking away.
“Who’s gonna watch our stuff?”
“Tell fuckin’ Miley to do it, I don’t care.”
You look around. There’s not many people in the restaurant, and you’re curious and bored- so you follow her. The door swings closed behind her, and it takes you a second to follow her in.
You think she’s disappeared, the bathroom empty with two open stalls. The door is kicked closed behind you. You turn around and Clarisse pushes you into the nearest bathroom, her hands on your waist- you moan in surprise, letting her flip the two of you around and press you against the door, her hand leaving your waist to make quick work of the lock.
“Clarisse,” you breathe. “What’s going on?”
“Do you want me to stop?”
You don’t answer and she kisses you deeper.
—-
“Clarisse.”
She’s been smiling at your neck a little too obviously, and when she finally lets you out from under her lips and hands, you immediately turn around and head for the mirror.
“Clarisse,” you repeat.
She’s looking at you in the mirror and smiling. Actually fucking smiling.
“What is wrong with you?!” you yell, turning on the cold water and frantically bringing it to the red hickies on your neck. “Are you a vampire? Oh, my Gods, Clarisse, this is so fucking embarrassing!”
“It’s not,” she huffs. “You’ll be fine.”
“Cl-” but she’s already left. She really has to stop doing that.
—-
Lunch is fine, you leave Miley a nice tip, even though Clarisse scoffs and mumbles that she wasn’t that good- but you feel so bad that she had to watch you wiggle in your seat, desperately trying to hide your neck as Clarisse ran her foot up and down the side of your leg.
You ignore her the entire walk to the station, she barely hides the smug look on her face. Is she just intent on making you seem stupid and weak? Does she want to embarrass you? She knows. She knows you’re still in love with her and she’s playing you like a fiddle.
You thought Clarisse to be a lot of things, and you know she’s cruel and ruthless- but you never thought she could be this way towards you.
You make it onto the train with no problems, and you’re desperate to just get out of this place and back to camp where you can ignore her. You had one last final hurrah, and now you need to forget her.
You stare pointedly out the window. You ate dinner in the dining cart in silence, Clarisse didn’t try to touch you again, but she seems bored of letting you sulk now that there’s nothing else to entertain her.
It’s only about 7:00 pm- you still have an entire night with her, and a bus ride the next day. Why are the Gods torturing you like this?
“Y/N,” Clarisse says. You’re sitting across from each other. Her foot kicks at yours. “C’mere,” she pats the space next to her on the bench.
You snort. “You’re crazy. I’m not sitting near you.”
She shrugs and stands up, sitting next to you while you gasp in exasperation.
“Bitch,” you mumble, clenching your fists at you stand. She plants her hand on the window, trapping you in with her arm.
“Don’t be mean.”
You fold your arms and stare out the window. She’s right at your shoulder, whispering in your ear even though your alone- it makes you feel so special your head gets all dizzy.
“I want you, Y/N.” Not the way you want her.
“I. Don’t. Care.”
She laughs. You can see her reflection in the mirror, she’s laughing and smiling fondly- staring at you.
You whip around and point your finger at her.
“I won’t let you treat me like a rag doll anymore.”
Her smile falls.
“I used to be something you could just swing around, but I’m not anymore. I won’t ever be a toy for you, Clarisse. These past two days were fun, but they were goodbye. When we get back to Camp I’m getting over you, because I’ve spent too much time waiting for you.”
Her hand falls from the window, and she backs away from you.
—-
When you realize that this train also features another small, single bed, you resist the urge to stomp your feet like a child. Instead, you pretend like it’s all fine, a part of you pretends it’s that alternate before- Clarisse turning around while you change and you leave to brush your teeth and then you come back to her in bed.
You lay down, body unwillingly pressed up against hers. She doesn’t touch you, at least, and it’s tense and silent until she breaks it. Her hand finds yours through the sheets and blankets.
“Y/N.”
You try to shake her hand off of you, mumbling that she’s using your tiredness to manipulate you.
“Do you really think that’s all you were to me?”
You’re frozen, she’s right up against your back, breath tickling your shoulder and voice in your ear again.
Your hand still fits perfectly in hers.
“A toy?”
“What else was I supposed to think?”
She utters the two words you never thought you would hear her say.
“I’m sorry.”
Your breathe hitches.
“I-I know I’ve been stupid, I’m not totally dumb. I just, I had it in my head that I could make you fall in love with me all over again. And then I could do it right, I could fix it, and you could teach me how to love you and I would do it right, Y/N. And then I… I got jealous. Because that fucking server was flirting with you, she was, and I got fucking jealous and I fucked it all up.”
She’s breathing heavily at your shoulder.
“I was scared, Y/N. And that… I didn’t know how to deal with that. I was scared because I love you so much I know I would do anything you asked me too. So, I said those stupid things that night, I just lied because I was scared, and I’ll never forgive myself for the way I made you feel. I don’t deserve another chance, but I want to show you that I can do it right. I can do it however you want me too, as long as you teach me.”
It’s silent for a moment.
“I want you to let me love you.”
She lets go of your hand.
“You don’t have to say anything, I guess,” she swallows. “I mean, if I was you I would have killed me-”
“Really?” you voice comes out like a broken whisper, sitting up so you can look into her eyes. You try to tell if she’s lying, but you can’t. It hurts and it aches so good and she’s not lying.
“Y-yeah, I would have killed me.”
You smile. “No, dumbass, do you really love me?”
“Oh,” she blinks, sitting up too. “Y/N, I love you so much that I’ll never be the same person again.”
You don’t want to kiss her. All you’ve been doing is kissing her, sinking into that hard and rough side of your relationship that’s just hot desire.
But there’s a soft part to Clarisse that you bring out. And you bring it out now, winding your arms around her neck, breathing heavily as you rest your head on her shoulder. She hugs you, her arms are so strong, she always gives the best hugs- and kisses your temple like she did when she thought you were sleeping.
She loved you even when she didn’t know you would feel it.
Your fingers dig into her back.
“I love you,” she says again, softly, like she’s caressing the words with such a reverence that they were bathed in golden ichor. “I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you too,” you say back, you let her love you, and it’s the most true thing you’ve ever known.
—-
“Ah, young warriors!” Chiron says, holding his hands out.
Of course, on the tail end of your trip you had encountered tons of little monsters- more amphisbaena, even a juvenile drakon that could barely spit acid. Clarisse had made a dazzling show of killing all of them, and unlike the first amphisbaena- none of them got close enough to touch you.
You had to charmspeak the train conductor, the police officer at the station, and the bus driver. You wonder faintly if your mother had been looking out for you, helping you love Clarisse again.
Of course, all of those instances ended in Clarisse pulling you into the nearest corner.
It’s different, now that you know that you live each other. She still kisses you with that rough deepness, like she’s starved, like she’s trying to breathe you in, but her hands are so soft around you. She holds your waist close to you, not like she just wants to feel you body, but like she just wants to be close to you.
You swing your backpack off of your shoulder, you can feel your mascara smeared down your face from the heat, digging into your bag for the black box.
Chiron smiles and holds his hands out for you to place them in. “You have my thanks,” he says, laying the box into his hand.
You’re surprised when all he does is take out a simple pen. It looks like a nice pen, sure, but still just a pen.
He uncaps it, letting it fall to the concrete, when it suddenly transforms into a sword. You yelp and jump back, Clarisse puts her arm in front of you, and Chiron laughs triumphantly.
“Beautiful!” he says, admiring the carefully crafted sword.
Mr. D dissolves into a fit of laughter. “No more bad blood, huh?”
Clarisse drops her hand from where it reaches for her spear, and her other arm from across your body. Her hands drop to her sides, her face turns back into a mask of indifference and she shrugs.
Mr. D seems to find that even more funny, and Chiron dismisses you with a wave of his hand, staring in awe at the silver sword.
Clarisse presses her lips together into a tight line until you smack a kiss on her cheek.
“Love you,” you sing, and her face breaks out into a wide smile. It’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, and it’s the only thing you ever want to know. All you need to know is her and her love.
—-
marley when she finds out clarisse and y/n are dating again: if you EVER and i mean EVER hurt her again i will torture you in ways not even imagined yet.
clarisse: ok yes i promise 😟😟
—-
clarisse when she realized she was in love with y/n: NO NO NO NO NEW FEELINGS NO I REJECT THIS AND I MUST RUN AWAY IN FACT THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
also clarisse when she realized she just broke up with y/n: OH GODS NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO WHAT HAVE I DONE NO NO NO NO PLEASE NO NO NO
—-
honorable mention to y/n fuck em’ and hate em’ l/n
another honorable mention to clarisse “none of them got close enough to hurt you” la rue
—-
taglist:
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish
@sincerely-silk @lacytalks
—-
pls ignore it’s for the acc aesthetics thank you!!
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
sparring-spirals · 2 years ago
Text
Hopping back into my watch- almost immediately, the way that she says: "It's all cultist bullshit, I know. She's been brainwashed, it's not real. That thing up there, it's a god-eater. It destroys. That's what it wants. It wants to eat."
And a pause, and she looks around:
"Right?"
(She knows, she knows, the reasoning and logic are all bullshit, its all bullshit meant to pull her in. She knows, she knows. What she was shown was a beautiful fantasy, nothing more, unachievable and the lies of a destructive entity hellbent on its own satiation. It's all bullshit.
But.)
oh. so. this dream and this vision and this exchange after and everything that has been building to here.
All that rage, all that desperation, Imogen's knowledge that Liliana's judgement is flawed and searching for any reason to understand, searching for a way to bring her out of it. Bring her back.
"Show me" and she does and.
Its- beautiful, its wonderful. Its the unmaking of the world and of history and it feels- so good. For a moment Imogen feels something she hasn't for YEARS. A life and a possibility and a future full of peace she hasnt had for ages, hasnt even bothered hoping for. For a moment, Imogen sees it, but more importantly- she feels it- the freedom, the peace, the dream. Stronger than any vision. She sees it. She feels it.
And she wakes up, and she- unknowingly, perfectly, mirrors her own mothers words, looks around, asks- did you see it? Did you all see that? (I wish you all could see what I could see-)
They didn't- of course they didn't. They saw Liliana, too far gone, spouting nonsense, they saw her reach out, they saw the refusal to listen to reason. They did not see the vision. (They couldn't have. Even if they'd seen it- would they have understood? How could they? No beautiful vision would have captured the thing that left the awe in Imogen's lungs- the peace. The freedom. The finality of, finally, finally, being free of this gift that has only been a curse.)
They didn't see the vision. They saw their friend, tapped on the forehead after hopeless pleas. They've been seeing their friend make further and further excuses for someone they know is a danger, someone siding with people they are working so hard against. That has hurt them. They've seen the way she can't quite denounce Liliana. They've hedged around it: If she's not on our side, will you be okay- You know if she's not on our side, we'll have to-
They've been watching. They're seeing plenty. They did not see the vision. They couldn't have.
They saw a fruitless conversation. They saw their friend rebuffed by someone she loves. They saw her wake up with a strange kind of light in her eyes and- say.
What if its not so bad? (The world ending. Half of the world being eaten. Innocent lives lost. Our loved ones cut down for a fever dream and delusions of power and grandeur. Us, cut down, for some stupid plot for a moon and petty revenge against the gods and a desire to end the world.) They've been watching her, make halfhearted arguments, sidle away. Make increasingly desperate excuses. Ask: What if.
(Its so easy to ask, what if. Its so dangerous. Sometimes the if is used to hide away lives and lives of collateral, of blood red loss. Sometimes the if has already been answered and paid for, and the act of asking is its own form of violence, all over again.)
"Well Imogen, I wish my family didn't have to die for her brighter tomorrow."
And the way Imogen collapses, a little- presses her face into her hands and crumples under the weight of the reminder, like voices piling in after weeks of being in blissful quiet in a forest. Like reality breaking in after a beautiful dream. "You're right. I'm sorry. You're right."
"I swear, I wanna see this through, I do."
"She just presented this vision of- it didn't seem so bad."
And the Bells try to help, to be kind. They say: We understand why this must be hard for you. She's someone you love, its hard to deal with them thinking a different way. What did you see?
They are trying so hard, to reason through it, to balance their own hurt with kindness and sound arguments to lead her back. They want so badly, to lead her back. Have her back.
The problem however, is not the soundness of the argument, is not the reason or the logic- but the overwhelming allure of that sensation- of that promise- of the hope- of the ideal. Of a mirage that already drew Liliana in. That is pulling Imogen's gaze, despite. Despite, despite, despite.
Hope is such a tricky thing to kill.
165 notes · View notes
ovrour · 3 months ago
Text
𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑' ─── christopher o. sturniolo
Tumblr media
# 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 . . . christopher o. sturniolo x ex!gf reader
# 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 . . . chris cant let you go even when he knows he has too.
# 𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐘 . . . angst
# 𝐀𝐍 . . . theres a big ass plot twist
# 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 . . . Lover, you should’ve come over by Jeff Buckley
Tumblr media
It had been a year. A year since Chris’ world came crashing down. A year since he lost everything. He lost you. It hit him hard, he would’ve never seen the breakup coming. He didn’t know why it happened. Why he had to lose his beautiful girl. Chris wasn’t sure if he could even call you that anymore. You weren’t together, and you hadn’t been for a year. But, he was never going to stop calling you his girl. You were each other's everything. And he missed having you as his everything.
Chris couldn’t get over, he hadn’t gotten over it. He never will. Chris knew he had to let you go but, he wouldn’t. Currently, Chris was sitting in your favorite restaurant, the one he first took you to when he asked to be your boyfriend. He felt like it was the only place where he could feel happy knowing that he had the chance to have been with you. But now, it felt like nothing. Nothing without seeing your enticing eyes, or delicate smile. It was stupid really. Stupid of him to still miss you even after a year.
Chris is pulled out of his thoughts when he hears a ringing noise. It’s Matt calling him. “Hey, We’re about to film a video. Are you down?” Matt spoke over the phone. “Yeah, I’ll start getting ready.” “Alright. We’ll be there in 20.”
Chris then hung up the phone and left for his room. By the time he was done, Matt had just pulled into the driveway, honked letting Chris know he was home. Chris rushed out the door putting his shoes on. He rushed into the car, closing the door behind him, finally putting on his shoes, he was out of breath. “Hey, you okay? You look upset.” Nick asked him. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just thinking.” Chris replied.
In all reality it wasn’t just thinking. He was thinking about his girl. The girl he had met when he was fresh into middle school, the one who he had fallen in love with. He felt so alone now that his girl was gone, he had no one to go talk to about his day, how filming went, or how much fun he had going out with his brothers.
“Are you sure you're just thinking? Or are you thinking about y/n?” Matt hinted. Chris just looked at him and sighed. “Chris, it’s time to let her go. It’s been a year. She’s probably moved on already.” Nick stated. “I know okay? But, I can’t let go of someone I loved for so long.” Chris commented, tears starting to swell in this eyes. “Hey, don’t cry. It’s gonna be okay. It takes time to get over someone you’ve loved for so long.” Matt chimed in.
“Look, we’re gonna get some food, record a video and then we can go home okay? And maybe you can ask her mom about how well she’s doing. I know you’ve been wanting to text her.” All three of them stopped by McDonald’s and picked up some food before they found a spot to record. They answered a few questions, laughed together, and just chatted.
After they finished recording they went back home. Chris thought about you the whole time there. He couldn’t stop talking or thinking about you. He felt so bad because he hadn’t reached out to you in months. The last time he talked to you was to wish you a happy birthday. So, when he got home that was the first thing he did. But, when he did, he didn’t expect the messages to turn green. He knows you hadn’t blocked him, or at least he didn’t think so. If you did, he didn’t want to think about it.
“Chris, what’re you doing?” Nick asked, standing behind him. “I'm trying to text y/n but my messages are turning green.” He replied. “Are you sure she hasn't blocked you?” Matt inserted. “No, i don't think so. i dont think she has a reason to.”
“well, you should ask her mom, see if she’s okay.”
“yeah, i’ll text her right now.”
Chris then texted your mom, asking her if you were okay. She didn't reply at first, so he waited and waited and waited. To keep his mind off things, he did a couple chores. took a shower, got dressed, and ate some food. That's when he feels a vibration. it was y/n’s mom. He opened the message and his heart dropped.
it felt like the world had gotten slower. Everything went quiet, it was like it was just him, alone, left in the world. Chris couldn't hear the twins calling for him. Chris didn't expect to receive the message that he did. Finally, Chris calms down and hears Nick yelling for him.
“Chris, are you okay? I heard something fall.” Nick questioned. Chris didn’t say anything, he just looked at him. “Chris?” Matt blurted out.
“She's dead.”
“Who’s dead?” Chris didn't reply. “Chris, who the fuck is dead.” Matt stated. “Y/n. She’s dead.” Chris replied, typing on his phone. Tears start swelling in his eyes. “No. She's not dead. We just talked to her last month.” Nick cried. “How did she die?” “She was murdered.” Chris responded.
“I cant believe we didn’t check up on her. We were so busy.”
“Her poor soul. She was such a beautiful person. I hope her mom is okay.”
“Yeah. I hope that she's okay. I can't imagine how hard it is for her.”
Chris stood up, walked out the door, and just stood there. He looked up to the moon and said “I'm so sorry I couldn't check up on you more. I'm so sorry.” He sat down and just cried. His girl was gone. His girl was sent from heaven. Now she was in heaven, resting not having to suffer anymore. He was never going to forget you. And ‘till this day, he tells everyone about you, and about how much of an amazing person you were. He wants people to know that you weren’t just a girl to him. you were his best friend. You were always going to be his best friend. He’ll always remember you as…
his girl sent from heaven.
Tumblr media
©️ ovrour
taglist: @flouvela @sturniolosarethebest @missmimii @bernardsbendystraws @042502 @soupuurr @luvs4matt
170 notes · View notes
mediumgayitalian · 11 months ago
Text
“Death Breath! Hey! Wait up!”
Nico bolts. He makes it about ten feet away from his cabin door before Will and his stupid long legs catch up with him, throwing an arm over his shoulder and then immediately tripping over his own foot and sending them both sprawling.
“I hate you,” Nico groans, curling up on the grass.
It’s too early for any of this. He was just trying to get back at Cecil for covering everything he owned in aluminum foil last week — and then he was going to go right the hell back to bed.
He knew he should have fucking shadow travelled.
“Aw, c’mon. You love me.”
Nico pretends to gag. The only thing he gets is Will’s crossed arms and raised eyebrow, so he doubles down and really starts to retch. Whatever. It’s eight thirty in the morning. He fell asleep at five. Rational thinking is a distant, distant memory.
“Whenever you’re done.”
“I will be sick at the thought for the next eight weeks,” Nico informs him. For dramatic effect, he looks up at Will’s face — which he cant even see, since the sun’s in his eyes — and shudders.
“You know, you have a genuine, beautiful talent for the dramatic arts, the likes of which I have never seen. Are you sure you’re not secretly an Apollo kid?”
I better not be, ‘cause then all the staring I do at your calves would be real weird, he thinks to himself, then considers whether he can convince Kayla to give him a lobotomy. He thinks she might like the opportunity.
“Piss off,” he says instead of that, artfully schooling his face into the aristocratic mask he’s perfected from his father, squaring his shoulders and looking at Will like he’s a pebble lodged in the flesh of his heel.
Will rolls his eyes. “Get up, Sharpay Evans. You’re gonna stain your shirt worse than you already have.”
Nico sniffs haughtily. “My shirt is perfectly fine, thank you very much. I order them in black for a reason.”
He notices a giant grass stain on the side when he stands. He ignores it. Will does not.
“Yeah, ‘cause you’re the Goth King.”
“Ghost King.”
“Right, right. That helps your case.”
Nico shoves him, fighting back a grin. “Whatever, Solace. What are you bothering me for?”
“Oh, yeah!”
Nico is a deeply cheesy person. Down to the core of him, past all the sarcasm and prickliness and trauma, or whatever, he’s made of fucking mozzarella, because what business does he have comparing Will’s eyes to the morning winter sky? Huh? That’s embarrassing. It isn’t even original. If Nico caught anyone saying shit like that out loud in real life, he’s collapse into the shadows from embarrassment. He needs electroshock therapy.
“I was thinking —”
“Rare,” Nico quips, just to watch Will’s eyebrow twitch. It does. Nico smiles.
“I was thinking,” he repeats, mocking glare in Nico’s direction, “that you and me go to the city this afternoon.”
“You chased me across camp for that?”
“Oh, please, Zombie Face. I chased you maybe twenty yards.”
“I think all that time sniffing rubbing alcohol has deteriorated your brain.”
“I think I’m going to shove you in the lake.”
“Feel free to try. You will not wake up the next morning.”
“Nah.” Will shoots him a smug smile. Nico trips over air. “I can be as annoying as I want and you still won’t kill me. I have impunity.”
Nico rolls his eyes, refusing to dignify that with an answer. The less he acknowledges his own shame, the more likely it will go away on its own. Probably.
“Anyways. Guess what Cecil told me today.”
“His last will and testament?” Nico guesses, suddenly remembering his reason for being up this early.
“No, no, not that.” Will pauses. “Well, I mean, he did. I passed it on to Chiron. He has requested that when you maul him, you avoid his face, because he wants to be a sexy corpse and he can’t do that if you destroy his prettiest features.”
“Noted. Please inform him I will come for him within a window of the next fifteen hours.”
Theres a very particular face Will makes when he finds something genuinely funny. A smile a little more crooked than his regular one, teeth working at his bottom lip to hold it back, left dimple appearing in his cheek. It makes Nico want to do stupid things like press his thumb into said divot. He instead shoves his hands deeply into his pockets.
“I’ll let him know.” He clears his throat. “Anyways. You know what day it is today?”
Nico squints. “Tues…day? No, Wednesday.” He glances at Will. It’s been maybe….three days since their weekly sleepover? No, fuck, four. He thinks. “Thursday. Final answer.”
“Monday,” Will corrects, “and, gods, you need to sleep more. And a calendar. But no, that’s not my point.”
“Feel free to get to it.”
“It’s Valentine’s Day,” Will finally explains. He tries for exasperated, but it doesn’t work — he’s clearly excited, bouncing on the balls of his feet and waving his hands. “And The Five Seasons is doing half off for couples, so you and I need to go!”
He waves his hands, as if tying off some grand reveal. His (blue blue blue blue) eyes are squeezed nearly shut by the force of his beam, which lessons slightly with every second Nico does not respond.
“William,” he says finally. He opens his mouth, then closes it again. “William.”
Will pouts. “What?”
“Explain how this is relevant to me, William.”
“Aw, c’mon, Nico! Don’t be difficult!”
“William,” stresses Nico again. “We are not a couple. Did you hit your head again?”
“Well, duh, Neeks, it’s about the scam!” He flaps his hand in a way Nico assumes is meant to convey something. “We’re gonna — eat! Cheap! By pretending to be a couple!” Now both hands are flopping, paired with wide, imploring eyes. “Obviously!”
“Obviously,” Nico repeats, slowly. He instructs one half of his brain to keep its focus on not melting into a puddle of blushing embarrassed goo, and the other to exercise restraint and not strangle the boy in front of him. A headache begins to press behind his eyes. “Will, what the shit.”
“You of all people!” Will throws his hands up. “You love scamming people! You hate corporate holidays! You frequently throw pebbles at people who look, and I quote, too obnoxiously happy! You’re the best hater I know! You should be on board!”
He makes a compelling point. Not that Nico is going to make that easy for him.
“You seem very invested in this,” Nico points out. He manages to keep his voice tastefully judgmental, which he’s very proud of.
“Of course I am! I want cheap Five Seasons food, godsdammit!” He pauses, switching tactics. “Nico,” he says softly. He puts a gently hand on Nico’s forearm, making him freeze. He is suddenly very, very close, and wow, did his hair always frame his face in gentle waves? Has that always been a thing? “I really, really want to scam a restaurant with you.” He smiles, small and crooked and gods, Will doesn’t look dangerous very often, but holy Hades when he does — “Will you make my Valentines, and scam a restaurant with me?”
His fingers begin to trace little circles in the inside of Nico’s wrist.
“Yes,” he squeaks, voice cracking.
“Yes!” Will cheers, pulling his fist. “Yes, hell yes, Nico! We are going to scam the shit out of this restaurant! Half off for couples? How about half off for heathens! Free money, baby! Fuck yeah!”
He turns back towards Nico, smile still wide and radiant, blinking eyes pools of sparkling excitement. Nico’s knees go a little weak. “I’ll come get you at 2! Thank you, Neeks!”
He runs off back to his cabin, only tripping twice. Nico watches him go, feeling a little like he’s tripping, too, with all the swooping his stomach is doing.
“Dude,” he mumbles to himself, shaking his head. “Be normal. Christo.”
It takes him ten straight minutes to get back to his cabin, even though he’s standing at the porch.
———
The obsidian handle of the Hades’ cabin door rattles.
“Neeks!” calls a voice behind the door, “you ready to go?”
“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.” Nico scrambles over to the mirror and stares at himself. He turns a little to the left. He scowls. “Shit!” Tugging the shirt off, he turns back to his closet, tossing the piece of clothing to join the rest of its brethren on the floor. “Shitfuck. Fuckshit. Shit.”
“Nico!”
“Coming!”
Tapping his foot rapidly, he looks harder, as if that will magically make the right shirt pop into existence, perfectly pressed, on a hanger. “Shit.”
“What could possibly be taking so long? You’ve had two hours!”
“I care about my appearance, Mr Flip Flops and Scrubs!”
“Bleh bleh! Hurry up!”
Nico bites his lip. It shouldn’t matter. It doesn’t, really. Five Seasons is not actually a fancy restaurant. He and Will just like to joke that it is, because it has tablecloths. They’ve gone there dozens of times before; they stop every time they’re in the city for supply runs or visits to Olympus or to harass their summer-only friends at school. There is literally no reason for Nico to be stressing about what stupid shirt he should wear. Gods know Will is wearing cargo shorts.
“Nico!”
“I’m coming!“
Scowling, he digs through the pile of discarded clothes until he finds the first shirt he’d put on — a dark green button up that was given to him, along with a bunch of other fancy clothes he never wears, by the Aphrodite cabin. He hastily shoves their buttons through their holes, cursing when he mixes them up and has to start over, and sprints over to the mirror to inspect himself.
The shirt looks good. It’s a little tight on the arms, which he suspects was on purpose, and the colour compliments his skin nicely. The buttons are a dark, shiny brown that match his eyes. They pair nice with his simple jeans and black vans, casual enough that he doesn’t look like he’s going to Prom, or anything stupid like that, but dressy enough that it looks like he put effort in. He runs his fingers through his hair, trying to make the staticky strands sit right, but gives up pretty quickly. It’s okay if one thing is a little messy, right?
“Finally,” huffs Will as the door swings open. He glances Nico up and down, then grins. “You look great.”
Nico was right. He is indeed wearing cargo shorts, although to his credit they are his one pair without various Head Medic stains. His sweater, too, is a pretty blue, V-necked, long-sleeved, and a completely different style than his shorts. It clashes horribly. His shoes are, for some reason, bright solid pink. Nico suspects Hecate magic. His hair is braided in two French braids, his favourite way to wear it. Nico believes he is also wearing a touch of sparkly eyeshadow.
“You look dorky.”
Will grins wider. “Thank you! I wouldn’t let anyone help me choose something.”
“You should have.”
“I wanted it to be authentic, Nico. Also, got something for you.” From behind his back, he pulls out a handful of daisies, black dirt clinging to their roots, like he plucked them straight from the ground. Nico is inexplicably endeared by the image, and prays the smile on his face is less soft than he knows it is.
“You got me flowers?”
“Well, duh, Avril Lavigne. We gotta sell the scam.”
Nico brings them close to his face and inhales deeply. They smell fresh and earthy and sweet.
“That’s a stupid reason to bring someone flowers.”
“Give them back, then.”
“No. Fuck off. They’re mine.”
Will’s eyes twinkle. “Okay.” He holds out his arm. “Ready to go?”
The jump is close enough that Nico can convince him to shadow travel, and not just because he sadistically looks forward to the shade of green Will’s face will get after. As dangerous as he knows it can be, he misses it, sometimes. There’s something comforting about it, something soothing and familiar. Shadow travelling to the restaurant eases any lingering nerves.
“If you’re gonna throw up, do it somewhere I can’t hear you,” he says as they materialize in an alley.
Will’s cheeks puff out. “I’m gonna do it on your fuckin’ shoes.”
“I will leave your ass here, Solace, I swear to the gods.” Despite his grumbling, he rests a cool hand on the back of Will’s neck until he’s recovered. “Good?”
“Yeah.” He straightens, dusting off his sweater. “Let’s go.”
Nico follows him down the alley and onto the street, elbowing past the crowd of pedestrians until they approach the familiar glass doors. He rolls his eyes fondly every time Will apologizes to someone.
“You need to be meaner.”
Will sticks his tongue out and tries to trip him. Unfortunately, he only manages to throw himself off balance, nearly crashing to the floor of Nico hadn’t caught him.
“Good gods, Solace.”
“That was your fault!”
“Yeah, yeah.”
The doors of the restaurant are absolutely plastered in cheesy red hearts and bows and cartoon kisses. And, as promised, a giant sign promising couples a fifty percent discount on their meals.
“My love,” says Will dramatically, holding out a hand, “shall we?”
Nico sighs, resting his hand delicately in Will’s. It sparks with electricity, like it always does. “I suppose.”
“Party pooper.”
“I’m not hearing oh, Nico, thank you so much for doing this incredibly stupid thing with me, you are my dearest friend and I owe you one. Or three, for some reason.”
Will’s mouth twitches. “Oh, Nico, thank you so much for —”
Nico shoves him, laughing. “Shut up.”
They’re seated pretty quickly, server smiling when they take notice of their clasped hands. Will orders chicken tenders, like he does every single time without fail, and water. Nico orders from the adult menu and absolutely does not make any kind of show about it.
“There is nothing babyish about chicken tendies.”
“Oh, of course not.”
“Is this about you having a credit card? That does not make you more adult than me. It makes you a nepo baby.”
“Mhm. Sure thing.”
“Nobody likes a nepo baby, Nico.”
“Look, I think your drink comes with a complimentary sippy cup.”
Teasing and joking with Will is so easy that Nico forgets the core of their mission. The pink garlands hanging from the ceiling fade into the background — he’s too busy crying with laughter when Will nearly chokes to death on a french fry, too busy flicking a forkful of food at his shoulder just to make him shriek, too busy kicking his shin under the table. He catches Nico’s foot between his the fourth time he tries it, keeping it trapped for the rest of the meal. Nico finds he doesn’t mind.
“And your bill,” says their server when they’re done, setting down a slip of paper. “Forgive me if I’m being presumptuous, but do you two qualify for today’s discount?”
Will smirks widely. “We do,” he says, with no small amount of pleasure. He shoots Nico the least subtle wink of all time. Nico rolls his eyes, cheeks going a little pink.
“Great! You guys have a wonderful Valentine’s day.”
“You, too.”
The server hurries away, turning to their other tables. Will’s smile is wide and smug.
“I knew it would work.”
“Duh. Easiest scam in the world, Solace.”
He sticks his tongue out. “And thus the best payout. You’re welcome.”
“Blah, blah. Gimme the bill.”
“Um, no way, di Angelo. I’m paying.”
He opens his wallet before Nico can stop him, mouthing as he counts the bills.
“What? No! I’m paying.”
“Are not.”
“Am too!”
“Are not.” He sets down a couple twenties. Nico snatches them right back up. “You we’re just complaining about my credit card!”
“Exactly. Thus my need to continue to pretend you don’t have one, so we can continue our friendship.”
“Solace, I swear to the gods.”
“di Angelo, I swear to the gods.”
Nico stares him down. Will stares back. He doesn’t even try to hide his lazy grin, his laughing eyes.
“You’re not paying for this by yourself,” Nico says firmly. “You don’t have a job. My father invented being rich.”
“Sure, but I made you come with me.”
“Ugh!” Nico throws his hands up, imagining how satisfying it would be to wrap his hands around that long neck (followed by his teeth and his tongue and his —). “Why are you impossible? I would’ve gone with you no matter what, stupid!”
As soon as he says it he wants to stick his head in wet cement. For a brief second, something like surprise flits across Will’s face, before he schools it back into his teasing smirk.
“Well, obviously, Death Breath. I’m excellent company.”
“You’re literally the most annoying person I know.”
“And yet here you are, hanging out with me, of your own volition.”
“…I’m paying next time.”
Will grins. “Whatever you say.”
They walk around the city for a while before heading back to camp. Will says it’s because he needs the air, Nico knows it’s because he wants him to rest a little longer before trying to shadow travel again. He tries not to let himself get all melty inside.
(Nobody willingly hangs out around the city for the ‘air’. He’s a shit liar. Nico should be offended.)
It’s nearing curfew by the time they melt back out from behind Thalia’s tree, extra shadows of early evening making the trip easier.
“Those fries are going to make a reappearance,” Will grimaces.
“Not if you don’t want me to kick you in the face.”
“You’d never.”
He would indeed never. But he would rather pass away than admit it, so.
“C’mon, dot face. It’s getting late. You have a cabin to run.”
“Oh, Nico,” Will says in a breathy falsetto, “are you walkin’ me to my cabin? How chivalrous!”
“Nevermind.”
“No no no no no I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” Nico allows himself to be tugged, weak to Will’s giggles. “Walk me to my cabin. C’mon.”
Sighing, as if he’s so put out, Nico does. Some point in between Thalia’s tree and the amphitheater, Will’s hand slides down from around his wrist to tangled in between his fingers. Coincidentally, his mouth goes dry.
As they approach the Apollo cabin, Will slows to a stop.
“Hey.” He squeezes their fingers together, smile soft in the dying light of dawn. “I had fun today. Thank you for coming with me.”
Nico swallows. One day, those words will be said in a different context, if everything goes well for Nico, and he’s not sure how the hell he’s going to handle it without bursting into flame. “Yeah, well. Anything to scam a restaurant.”
“Right.”
They walk the last few steps to the cabin, rickety porch steps creaking under their feet as they approach the open door. Will doesn’t let go.
“Hey, Nico.”
“…Yeah?”
Quick as a flash, Will leans in and presses the softest of kisses to his mouth. The noise Nico makes is practically punched out of his lungs, spine going rigid in surprise.
“You can pay for our next date, okay?”
He’s gone before Nico can respond, ducking into his cabin with a small smile and closing the door behind him. Nico stands there, like an idiot, for three solid minutes at the very least, distantly aware of the giggles coming through the open window.
His hand comes up, fingers brushing his bottom lip.
“The little fucker set me up.”
Valentine’s day scam. Please. The only scam today was the scam of Will’s sneaky asking.
Nico smiles.
“You’re a mess, Solace!” he shouts, knowing damn well Will is listening.
He’s right. “Goodnight, Nico!”
Shaking his head, Nico runs back to his cabin, entire body tingling and cheeks aching with his grin.
407 notes · View notes
hiveswap · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
You guys what if this was the final thread
banana bread #2 is happening rn because im meeting some friends later today. I'm home for the weekend so this time i didn't have a measuring cup that can measure imperial, so i had to convert to ml because that's the only thing that i can measure. (think like 400ml of flour...)
I added a bit less sugar than previously, and a bit of instant coffee and vanilla extract. We'll see how it goes
15 notes · View notes
the-s1lly-corner · 8 months ago
Note
Hello, could you do, gummigo x wife reader, where the two say goodbye before gummigo leaves with his brothers, to steal Maple Syrup from the Kingdom of Candy Canyon, but when they fall off the map with Pomni, he tells him about the reader Afterwards, when Caine kills Gummigo, I think, the team goes on an adventure again to the same place as Candy, but he finds the village where Gummigo lived. Pomni goes to look for Readee to tell her, and when he finds her, The reader invites her to come to the house, where Pomni discovers that they both had a baby, and Pomni doesn't know how to tell the reader.
pomni visiting npc!gummigoos wife!reader after caine poofs gummigoo
short post! not much to say here in the beginning notes lmao notes: reader is gn, maybe afab due to the baby but one can assume they dont have to be given digital world physics + npc stuff Cws: guilt
Tumblr media
one can assume that gummigoo still exists, just poofed and sent back to the void waiting for when he needs to be used once more. though i personally think that if he were to return, he would not remember anything that happened in episode 2... so lets explore two ideas in this post! ill divide each by a gap
assuming gummigoo does not return in the quest that involves the reader, and pomni stumbles upon you and sees your child... oh god she feels so horrible. as far as she knows shes doomed gummigoo- and that he no longer exists. ragathas reassurance that he may come out again did little to comfort her
she cant bring herself to be around you for long
she wants to tell you, she feels like she needs to- but you talk like everything is perfectly fine. of course you would, you werent sentient. you had all of these false memories. to you gummigoo had only been gone for a short period, off trying to get the syrup to save your village
ultimately i feel like pomni may swallow her guilt, what if she told you what happened and the exact same thing happens to you? poofed. she wouldnt let you go to the circus, but does that really matter? does this place still exist when the circus members are there?
its all so suffocating, she cant stand it. and the fact that youre trying to ask her whats wrong only makes her feel worse- she feels like shes going to puke
she likely holes herself up in her room as soon as the adventure ends, trying to recover.. its not going to get easier, is it?
but on the chance that gummigoo is around once more, just without his memories of... everything he experienced that day..
its not much better, but at least pomni can try to convince herself that at least he still exists- even if not consciously. it kills her a little inside to see the three of you interact with each other
completely unaware that you arent real people
you talk about how your child is the light of your life
but theyre just lines of code
the visit is brief, she doesnt find much of a reason to stick around
theres still the thought in her mind, almost telling her that shes obligated to tell you and your family everything thats going on
but you look so peaceful and shes not sure she can handle shattering your reality and just leaving you all alone- she has to go back to the circus eventually and shes learned her lesson that she cant bring any of you with her
similarly, the idea of "do you even exist when you arent needed" plagues her mind- would telling you and leaving you here do anything? would you all just forget again? that feels... needlessly cruel
193 notes · View notes
icarusredwings · 4 months ago
Text
I rewatched Deadpool 2 and took notes.
Disclaimer: He's mentally ill and does mentally ill things (GASP, who would have thought?). Also, violence. A lot of violence. It's really long. Like.. really really long.
The very first words he says is "fuck wolverine"
Then blows his own head off with a shit ton of gasoline. Wonder if he had insurance on that appartment.
He started taking worldwide cases
He also admits to knowing "8th grade spanish"
"Passion of the christ. Then me." Says the man whos marvel jesus now.
I wonder how much wade owes cab guy.
Cab guy killed bandu Lmao
"What is it?"
"My IUD"
"A bomb??" Tell me why he was lowkey excited for it to be a bomb?
I love how serious he gets talking about how scared he is to be a dad.
This empire joke traveled from the first movie too.
"Pretty sure it doesn't work that way but we can try" yes.
When making toaster strudles its almost as if he could sense them coming despite it being so silent. This kind of makes me think that Logans not the only one who just jumps up sometimes.
This man really just said "Fuck it" jumped out of a 2 story window, BOLTED after this guy as fast as he could, got hit by a car, rammed another car, and whole ass hugged this guy before jumping in front of a truck with him. I don't want to see anyone try to tell me he's one sandwitch drop away from jumping off a cliff.
Cinatography by Blind Al.
Directed by one of those guys that killed john wicks dog.
God I love Ryan Reynolds because you know it was him.
Wade stop peeing your pants in public.
Weasel "We still have bowie..." Yeah id lie to him too at this point.
"Yeah im fine"
Fucked up
Insecure
Needy and
Emotional. Kübler ross apprently.
"Buck no more speaking lines for you" and he meant that shit.
Al is so humble and sweet. Making tea and giggling. Tries to shoot him and then just hears him collapse on the floor. How many times do you think he collapses on the floor a week? Just to be drimatic?
"Sweetheart can you speak up? Its a little hard to hear you with yhat pity dick in your mouth" Oh so shes his mom. Al is his fucking mom. Hands down. And the best one.
I love how he decided to do an entire bag of cocaine before dying. There was no reason for it and honestly was a waste of cocaine until you realize that these cocaine is wades whiskey. Shots dont work for him really, probably because hes already done it so much, but its the same way how Logan chugs that bottle before wade kidnaps him. Its easier to blame it on a substance then accept those were your actions.
Ness is so cute. The poster behind her has "I love you wade wilson" scratched into it. Its nice to know that his version of heaven is literally just a cozy Saturday morning with his wife.
Colossus just walking in to find wades body parts everywhere and put him in a bag like old dirty clothes lol
"Why cant I fucking die" tone was SO serious.
The fact that theres an x men rule book and its lowkey thicker then a bible. I bet you scott and Logan made 80% of those.
"That asshole was me" oh the tears. Baby boyy.
Wait isnt cable literally scotts son.
Im never going to understand this fucking time line jesus christ
Mutant rehabilitation?? What is he a drug addict? That kid is clearly in pain dipshits.
"X men trainee" is so funny
"Please stop cheating on me"
Daniel the pedophile looking ass
Bro casually signs ryan reynolds on the wolverine cereal box and then destroys his knee caps.
"Those guys hurt you??" It was at that moment, wade went ape shit.
Wade having fun in prison is so him. But come on imagine going to prison just for standing up to an abused child. Not to mention, His face when he immediately realizes how fucked he is and that "oh shit I actually DO have cancer now and it SUCKS"
Is it just me or does Cable reminds you of forge with all his cool fix it abilities. Or is he just futurey.
He didn't say were not friends to make him upset but to draw attention to himself. Him just eye rolling when stabbed in the hand was so funny too because he was like "Ouch. God damn it. Ducking OUCH."
Hes literally pleading with russel to find someone else to peotect him or hes gonna get molested because he cant do anything. His entire power is replacing dead cells WITH new cancer cells. His entire body is dying 24/7 but never fast enough to actually kill him, always regrowing way too quickly. Cancerous is better then dead.
"Get away from me kid" yeah cause he knows hes trouble and he REALLY doesn't wanna watch this kid die.
"Who the hell tries to kill a 14 year old boy"
"Kids give us a chance to be better then we used to be"
Dopinder is so wholesome. I love him so much. No i dont care that he killed a guy. Hes the type of friend you call to take to the movies or the zoo once every year and hes stoked just to be invited.
Peter: I just thought it looked fun :D
Dopinder: FUCK
Peter is that one dad whos kids left the nest and now he needs friends and a hobby so searches for the biggest weirdos he can find.
"Grab the boy- NOT INAPPROPRIATELY >:("
i love his crayon maps/plans
Oh my god weasel im not telling you anything ever again you snitch (same dude, cable is terrifying)
After crying over the love he has for his new team (x force) Wade confirms that he spent 10 years in special forces.
I love how supportive wade is with Peter despite him just being a normal dude only for him to immediately die LMAO
He just cassually lets his impulse win in which he steals a moped.
Oh i just noticed Dominos vitiligo. I always loved vitiligo charaters. Theyre so unique and barley ever given movie roles. Like why not?? Why wouldnt you want someone so beautiful? Im pretty sure she just has make up but it would be cool if not.
Something else is that cable just starts yeeting criminals out onto the street lol
"Theres nothing I cant kill" Let me intorduce you to the man whos on a constant road to dying but can never actually get there.
Im assuming cable wants to kill russel because he unleashes a big bad guy or something.
*cassually snaps neck back into place* Oh god that hurt!
Oh I was right! It was Juggernaut :)
Wade: *gets excited about being PHYSICALLY ripped in half*
"Rub my legs mama 🥺 I got growing pains"
"Oh noo! No no no Dp not again!" We love you Dopinder. Do not ever stop caring. "This shits happened before!?" Yes weasel. Sometimes your friends get ripped in half. Get used to it.
Wade just moves her gun to the right position.
Wade talking about saving russel is so serious that it makes you forget that he has a tiny baby ass rn. I couldn't make a deal with someone woth tiny baby legs... just... no. Not to mention that those baby legs are made of cancer.
"50 years from now you're super fucking dead"
Wade standing outside of the xmen mansion with his phone and a picture of a boom box playing music for Colossus to come outside and help him save russel is something i can see happening to Logan. They have a fight and he storms off to the mansion only for wade to stand outside like that.
"Hi Wade🎀✨️" "Hi Yukio!🥹 you guys make a super cute couple 😊 where was I? 🤨"
"So you wear a helmet so your brother cant read your mind?" "Yeaaahh" average kid conversations.
"Lets fuck some shit up is my legal middle name"
Okay sir edgelord.
Apprently wade has a gluten sensitivity
What is it with wade and metal men??? My man has a type.
"Im just gonna use this brick and maximum effort" Same wade. Same.
Yaayy!! Go yukio! Eveyone loves yukio.
"Thats how we do it in mother russia" What? Shoving an electrical cable up their ass and then put them in a pool? Damn. Ok.
That "I never should have never left you in that prison" with the hug? Man hed be a decent dad I think.
"Dont be ive been trying to make this happen for awhile" okay someone supervise him 24/7. Hes on the active watch list.
Wade: *is dying* Hi Yukio :D
Yukio: Hi wade :)
"R-dog" Oh my god hes too cute.
Them carrying the racist joke all the way til the end made me cringe but that was the point.
His last words being "do you wanna build a snow man?" Is such a deadpool thing.
I was NOT expecting to cry at the end of this stupid ass movie, AGAIN
"Dont fuck colossus" VANESSA KNEW
THE FUCKING COIN
"Is there a knife in my dick?" "There's a knife in your dick."
Oh I just didn't even notice she has heterochromancia! <3 Aahh!!
PFFT DOPINDERS SECOND CONFIRMED KILL
"WERE DEFINITELY NAMINF OUR KID CHER"
"Dont scratch!" *shoots himself 8 times* "Love you! Bye."
Wolverine: ???
125 notes · View notes
dddalgiiiiiii · 20 days ago
Text
you’re dumber than you look.
wonyoung x fem!reader
cw// bullying but only a teeny tiny bit, slowish burn? <3 fllluufffff
reader is whipped for wony thats it
Tumblr media
“get your grimy hands off her”. you find yourself saying these words often throughout the week, and always to the same group of people, the ones who always corner her at her locker, or in a classroom after school. it seems as though wonyoung cant keep herself out of trouble.. and for some reason, you always find yourself defending her.
it has become almost like a routine for you. in the mornings you arrive to school, to find that stupid group of people crowding wonyoung, getting up in their face to scare them away, only to find them crowding her once again after finishing your football practice after school.
you’re used to it though, and honestly you kind of like it, you like the feeling of protecting a cute girl, the feeling of being a knight in shining armour.
this day is like every other day, finishing up your football practice and heading to the shower rooms, quicky freshening yourself up before making your way around the school, peaking in to each classroom to find the school nerd, wonyoung.
you pop your head into a room, finding exactly what you’re looking for, wonyoung. she’s sitting at a desk, the group of 4 people standing over her, talking and laughing at her until they see you.
“ugh, here comes the fun police.” a girl with long pigtails glares at you, a smirk forming on her face. “see you later, then.” she flicks wonyoungs forehead, turning towards the door and walking out, her minions following behind and sticking their tongues out at you and wonyoung.
“mmph..” wonyoung sits there, rubbing her forehead where the girl with pigtails had flicked. you make a teasing pout towards her, coming closer and peeling her hand away from her forehead, replacing it with yours as you rub the tips of your fingers against her forehead.
“sorry i’m late, wony.” you smile, pulling your hand away after rubbing her forehead for a few seconds. “its fine.. im used to it or whatever..” you notice a quite obvious pout on her face.
“uh huh…” you pull a seat towards the desk she sat at, dropping your duffel bag, taking a seat and propping your elbow up on the desk, resting your head on your palm. “what are you studying?”
her pout disappears, a soft smile taking its place “some calculus.. i wanna get a head-start on uni..” she admits timidly, her eyes falling to the desk “how was practice?”
you shrug your shoulders, leaning back in your chair, “normal. nothing special.” “i see..”
a silence takes over you both.
its not uncomfortable though. you both.. feel like this is how it should be… the two of you together.. you both smile to yourselves, soft giggling falling from both your lips.
“ahem.” you’re both interrupted by a sudden noise at the door, catching your attention, “school’s closing. you have to leave.” a stern looking man who you know as the biology teacher notifies you.
you nod, giving him a playful salute to which he responds by raising an eyebrow. “and don’t forget, y/n, theres a mock exam tomorrow.” he smirks to himself before leaving.
you bury your head in your hands “..… i forgot..” wonyoungs hand flies to her mouth, her shoulders shaking gently as she covers up her laughter, obviously failing.
you shoot your head up to look at her. oh. wow. it was only then when you noticed just how pretty she was.
the way her eyes closed when she laughed, the way her lips curled into that smile of hers, the way her long, slender fingers covered her mouth.
your face turned pink ever so slightly, catching yourself thinking these thoughts.
“quit laughing..” you turn your head away from her. “lets go, they’re closing up the school..” you stand up, placing your chair back in its rightful position and picking up your duffel bag, crossing the strap over your body.
wonyoung nods, catching her breath from her laughter as she stands up and tucks her chair in, picking up her backpack from the floor and following close behind you.
the sun is setting, casting a soft, orange glow on you both. you both make your way to the gates, pointing and giggling at random things left around the school.
standing at the gates, it seems like neither of you want to leave, noticing this wonyoung finds the courage to ask you, “hey, um.. can you take me home today..?”
your eyes widen for a moment, before nodding and smiling, “sure!”, you extend your hand, pointing to the direction of your car, “this way.”, both of you walking to your car.
you pop open the trunk of your car, tossing your bag into it, before reaching your hand towards wonyoung, to which she responds my placing the handle of the backpack into your hand, and you place it gently into your car, closing the hatch.
you walk wonyoung towards the passenger side door, opening it for her and gesturing for her to get in, to which she smiles and slides in. closing the door for her, you quickly make your way to the drivers side, hopping in and shutting the door, clicking your seatbelt in place.
you turn your head to make sure wonyoung puts her seatbelt on too, and with a satisfying clicking sound, you start the engine, hearing a distinct hum, your car purrs to life.
“lead the way then.” you start driving, following wonyoungs directions as she directs you to her house, pointing and different directions. however, you find yourself getting distracted, glancing towards her every once in a while, and even finding your hand crawling towards her thigh, threatening to land upon it.
she notices your hand creeping and smiles to herself, placing her hand on top of it and grasping it gently, her thumb caressing your knuckles. your body stiffens up a little, before relaxing.
you end up driving this way for the next few minutes, until you reach her house. its a simple house, with a white picket fence and a few flower bushes surrounding the patio. you pull your hand away from her thigh, watching as she gets out of the car.
you follow suit, getting out and heading to the back of your car, opening the trunk and handing her the backpack, closing the trunk once again and head back to the drivers side door. you lean against it, watching as she makes her way to the front door, fumbling through her bag to find the keys.
she inserts her key into the lock, twisting it and pushing open the door, turning back and waving goodbye before you stop her “wait, wonyoung!”
she pauses, tilting her head, “what’s up..?” you take a quick, sharp breath, fiddling with the ends of your hair. “uhh tomorrow.. should i pick you up..?” you lock eyes with her, smiling nervously.
she nods eagerly, giving a goofy thumbs up, “sure! see you tomorrow!” she turns on her heel, stepping into her house and shutting the door.
you smile to yourself, getting into your car and resting your forehead on the steering wheel as you mutter to yourself. “im so stupid..” a pink hue forming on your face.
you head home, still smelling the lingering scent of wonyoung in your car. after making your way into your own house, you feel restless, absentmindedly throwing your football in the air.
thunk. you ended up dropping the ball right on your face, letting out a sharp hiss at the pain. you shake your head, gently nudging the ball away towards a random corner of your room, falling onto your bed face first.
you roll over onto your side, pulling the blanket over you, placing your hands over your face. “i need to sleep…”, you mumble under your breath.
eventually, you end up falling asleep, succumbing to your tiredness.
the next morning you find yourself waking up earlier than usual, figuring that it must be the nerves you shrug it off and start preparing for the day, showering and eating breakfast, ect.
you must have checked yourself in the mirror at least a hundred times that morning. a sigh falling from your lips as you keep finding flaws on yourself, to your hair being parted wrong to your clothes being wrinkled slightly.
checking the time, you decide that this is good enough, a simple outfit consisting of a pair of black, baggy jeans and black hoodie accompanied by your letterman, finished off with a pair of black bapestar shoes.
and with that, you make your way out the door, getting in your car and head towards wonyoungs house, still remembering where she directed you from yesterdays event.
as you pull up, you already see her waiting at the end of her driveway, dressed in a long white sleeved shirt, blue baggy denim jeans and white airforces.
she waves happily, opening the car door and stepping in. “hi.” she smiles widely, clicking her seatbelt on. “hey, you uh, you look good.” you sheepishly respond, a quiet giggle escaping wonyoungs lips.
“you too.” she smiles, giving you a wink watching as you puy the car in reverse, reversing out her driveway and putting the car back onto “D”, finally making your way to your school.
as you park you can see wonyoungs group of bullies making their way into school, a worried expression forming on both you and wonyoungs face. “should we just.. walk in together..?” you turn your head briefly to look at her.
wonyoung gazes at you with big eyes, a noticable shade of red on her face. “if its okay with you..” taken aback by her reaction, you can’t help but also feel a rush of warmth on your face, nodding, you slip put of the car, waiting for wonyoung to do the same.
she gets out too, hanging her backpack on her shoulders as she brazenly links her arm with yours. you chuckle, pulling her closer, walking into the school and past her little bully group, making eye contact with the pigtail haired girl who just glares at the both of you.
of course, other people notice too, however, you just can’t find it in you to care much. you have wonyoung around your arm, and that’s the only thing on your mind right now.
you feel a little shake on your arm and you look towards wonyoung, noticing that shes shivering. “its- colder than i thought it was gonna be…” she admits sheepishly.
without her needing to say another word, you take off your letterman, wrapping it around her shoulders. “wear this then.” you make a big show out of it, as if to say “wonyoung is mine”.
she nods, slipping her arms through the sleeves. “thanks, y/n..” you let out a satisfied hum, liking how she looks in your own letterman.
the first bell for class rings, and a rush of students start making their way through the halls. “um! come to my practice, okay?!” you call out to her as she also makes her way to her homeroom, her response back was a simple thumbs up, signalling that she had heard your request.
feeling giddy all throughout the morning, you totally forgot about the biology mock exam you had third period. you grumble and groan, seeing the same biology teacher that reminded you of it yesterday grin knowingly at you.
you totally flunk the exam…. leading into a slump the rest of the day. you barely manage to focus in all your other classes and only until school is over does your mood start to pick up again.
you make your way onto the school field, meeting with the rest of your team for a quick debrief before starting practice, when in your peripheral vision, you see wonyoung, still sporting your letterman, sitting on the bleachers.
you give her a quick wave and she waves back, pushing up her glasses with her middle and ring finger. you feel satisfied, knowing that shes there and not in some classroom being tormented by her bullies.
practice goes without any hiccups, and afterwards you make your way to wonyoung, still sitting on the bleachers. a sheen of sweat glistening on your face.
wonyoung gulps. you look good. too good.
you fan yourself with your hands, smiling and catching your breath. “ha.. hi.” “hi…” a silence takes over you both once more. “um. sorry i asked you to come here.. i didn’t.. want you to be alone again.”
she nods in understandment. “no worries… but i still have to go study.. come with me to the library..?” you nod, “sure. let me go freshen up though.”
with that, you turn and quickly make your way to the locker room, changing and refreshing yourself in record time as to not make her wait too long.
as you walk out, you see her waiting, her attention focused on a book. you approach her, and she closes the book. “lets go?” you reach a hand out towards her instinctively, to which she immediately grasps, interlocking fingers. “lets.”
you both start walking, wonyoung walking a little faster, more eager to go study. swinging your arms, you can’t help but let out a little comment.
“we almost look like a couple..” you chuckle softly. “i guess we do..” wonyoung giggles, looking back at you with a smile, making your heart skip a beat or two.
you follow her into the library, the both of you taking a seat by the window in a booth, wonyoung already grabbing a few books out her back, you can only sit there and watch her. “such a hardworker..” you mutter under your breath.
“well one of us has to be smart..” she covers her mouth with her hand once again, laughing quietly. you reach your hand out towards her, peeling her hand away from her face.
“you look better without your hand in your face..” she raises an eyebrow, smiling an upside down smile. “reaaaally?” you nod, smiling. “mhm.”
she rolls her eyes, turning her attention back to her textbooks. throughout your study session- which was just her studying and you looking at her, she keeps throwing you little glances and gestures, a wink here, blowing a little kiss there.
until eventually she seems to get a bit flustered. she crosses her arms, leaning back in her chair and glaring at you. you sit up quickly, giving her a confused look. “what..?”
she takes a quick look around the library, and without warning, she picks up one of her textbooks, flipping it open to a random page and holding it up, leaning in a pressing a kiss to your lips.
you sit there, stunned as she places the book back onto the table, smirking and leaning against her palm, her elbow propped up against the table.
“youre dumber than you look..”
a/n: HELLO i lowk rushed the ending bc i was getting worried that i was making it too long for what was supposed to be a little fluff … I MEAN IS IT TOO LONG?? can a fic ever be too long ?!?! … looking at it now i shouldve prob made two parts but idk.. whatever ..
84 notes · View notes
jackalhadrurusluvr · 3 months ago
Text
update: just hung around my brother mostly and my ex-neighbors WERE NOT THERE! idk why because they lived next to my grandmother for like 15 years but. i am so glad they werent there! but my moms bf was and he is still the worlds biggest asshole and why my mom stays with him i have no idea!!!!!!!! but. yaknow. sooooo cool that she chose him to stay with her rather then i (the ultimatum i gave her) (which was long overdue because who moves an adult man whos rude into their home when their child (afab because it feels important in this situation specifically) is like 12 years old dawg) (nothing bad happened besides the casual me hating his presence so much that i went without food and water but like did she not realize how easily something worse couldve happened?) (when i told her i was visciously uncomfortable with him around did she just think i was gonna be chill with him being around forever?) (she seemed unhappy around him today. does she not realize that she doesnt have to stay with him?????? surely she realizes that he is awful????)
but my little cousin who went off to the navy said hi to me and gave me a hug and that was nice :-) he always was the least-judgemental of...... literally everyone whos around my age in my family. so it was nice to see him. i also saw my niece and nephew and they are like. actual teenagers now. and that was freaky because i know them as young children in my head. idk. its crazy that everyone ages bro
the pros of going to my grandmothers funeral/celebration of life tomorrow: closure or whatever. i dont really know ive only been to two funerals in my whole life and i dont fully get what im suppsed to feel and do there
the cons: i dont talk to literally anyone on my moms side of the family. i could follow my brother around but he's gonna be mostly around my mom, who i do not talk to for a thousand reasons. and my ex-neighbors who are very openly transphobic to me will be around her. and no one on her side of the family really Gets that im trans either so like it just all sucks. i will surely get emotional because y'know, and that means that i will be emotional in front of my mom, which is bad for me. all my cousins are weird around me because we were close as kids but now no one knows how to approach me because ive only gotten more awkward and more unable to verbally speak
#the last funeral i went to was my grandfathers on my dads side and it was open casket and inside and im glad this wasnt like that#we were outside and at the end they put the urn with her ashes into the ground#and it was nice#idk i cant think too hard about it all because ill get emotional and im already rocking a headache i dont need tears#other then my cousin no one else tried to hug me which is good but also sad#good because i was forced into so many hugs i didnt want when i was young bc my family is very physical#sad because it really highlights how far removed i am now that i didnt even get a hello from more then like 2 people#the problem is that usually in person with my mom things go fine and i go ok. this is fine#but then afterwards i must live with the knowledge of every wrong she has ever wronged me with#and i go wow. theres a reason i dont want to be around her at all#im so bad at defending myself and being strong in-person but theres really not much i can do when im mostly non-verbal#how can a man stand up for himself when he can barely say 2 words at a time#whatevs. im gonna go curl up in bed with my longfic#my whole body hurts soooooooo bad. my whole face radiates pain. my brain my forehead my eyes my jaw my cheeks everything#my backkkkkkkkkkkk my back. just like spiderman. but instead of falling off a building i just existed#my hips and my legs and my ankles. stood on lots of uneven ground today. they didnt like that#practically every muscle feels a little achey because i tense them something fierce when stressed (as u can imagine. 24/7)#im having cramp-like sensations#but surely its just stress or something because my period can NOT try to come right now#i just took my shot 2 days ago dawg#i need my testosterone to be beef mode and just convince my body i dont need to be shedding any uterus whatever
2 notes · View notes