#theres only one direction for either of them to go

[scruncheduppaper]

i love stanford pines can we please get an amen in the chat

[martyrbat]

habeas corpus – detective comics #1086

(ID in alt!)

[perilegs]

if someone has a crush on you how would you react? just as a hypothetical situation ha ha

[rotthepoet]

There's definitely mutual feelings if there gonna help you buy a vibrator 😝

IM SO SORRY BABES I HAVE HAD THE WORST WRITING BLOCK

So obvs theres some crushing and its like apparently to everyone but the two of you.

Draco doesn’t even know what hit him, hes out here spoiling you into loving him, and hes just such a great friend! Look at him go! He doesnt even care when you pull him into a store with blacked out windows. I mean. He sure as fuck notices when his eyes land upon copious amounts of dildos and panties. He doesnt even know where to look. He wants to direct you to the lingerie but you lead him to a wall full of vibrators. And hes fucking sweating okay? Man is losing his cool. Pulling on his shirt collar and puffing slightly. “I cant decide between these two” as you present two veey large and complex toys to him. He cant even look you in the eyes when he grabs the boxes for you. He doesnt look at the cashier either while checking out.

Blaise is a bit more cool about it, having actually had a conversation about it before. “Hey, weird question, Pans bailed on me, so do you want to help me pick out a new vibe?” And while his eyes go wide and he has to take a second, he does verbally agree. So there you stand in the sex shop, comparing different shapes and sizes, cordless and remote controlled. He’s really insightful actually. “Look at this one, if you turn it around it doubles as a dildo.” He offers to but the most expensive, ridiculous looking vibrator in the shop. While it becomes an inside joke amongst you two, he wants nothing more than to watch you use it.

Mattheo, that little shit, he actually dragged you into the store. He needed more lube(you didnt ask why, and didnt want to know) so to entertain yourself, you browsed the various dildos and vibes. Naturally this dickwad comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, peering over your shoulder. “I didnt know you were…” “sexually active?” “A whore.” He leaves the store with a bruise and you leave it with a smile and new toy to play with.(trust he shamelessly asks for a video later)

Theodore accidentally found your laptop open on a site, and he sat there for a few mimosas scrolling through your cart. He gave you a disappointed look when you came back into the room. “Look at the reviews on these before you even consider them. Who even online shops for dick?” You just roll your eyes at him as he continues hounding you, offering instead to show you what he would recommend. Online shopping takes about 2 hours with him before you even hit purchase.

Lorenzo and you were playing one on one truth or dare out in the common room. Everyone else was busy, but boredom strikes when least expected. After a few rounds, each getting more risqué than the last, Lorenzo finally asks you what yiur favorite way to pleasure yourself is. And you can only imagine the pure shock on his face when you get out a blushy “I dont really like… use any toys.” And hes taking you out on the town immediately, despite your flustered protests.

[orbch]

so, do I look like her?

okay this is either true and understandable, insane, or like “um theres a w2h blog ask already talking about this” so let me tread lightly [full analysis under cut so i don’t scare people with a wall of text.. but like PLEASE READ!]

i feel like jonathan and jojo being the people sock has the closest relationships with (jojo being one of (if not literally) his only friend/s growing up, and jonathan being one of his only connections post death other than, well, his employer LOL) is crazy, especially since they are SO SIMILAR! … IN MY EYES!

like visually? yeah, blond hair, blue eyes, white undershirt in primary design, both kind of a symmetry w/ jonathans middle part and jojo’s pigtails.

their names? both Jo- names, WITH N’s, an account of jojo’s full firstname being joane. [jonathan and joane? that had to be on purpose like come ON!] And their personalities, while definitely different (jonathans described as apathetic, and well, jojo cares very violently about a lot of things) they both are tough to break into, kinda making it hard for anyone to connect positively w/ them on a deeper level

idk, maybe it was very on purpose to give sock a past relationship where he mightve* accidentally had a direct connection to their death, and a new relationship where he has to purposefully have an indirect connection to their death. like DAMN! maybe this is socks eternal punishment, cause id go crazy..

(* emphasis on mightve because im pretty sure sock and jojos full backstory isnt set in stone, but @/welcometohellfilm has talked about possibilities of sock being indirectly linked to jojos death, or setting off a chain of events to cause it unknowingly, in the past. which i thought was interesting!!!)

[vexingwoman]

genuine question regarding the "women are female people" post. trying to understand the radfem mindset because I don't agree with y'all on most things, but I understand your need to find safety and acceptance within the patriarchy's oppression/danger. I am female but not a woman. I was never socialized as one either. I feel like biological socialization piece goes out the window in my case. Biologically yes, I am female, but socially no one, including myself, would ever view me as a woman or place me through the same social oppression that women face, nor will I experience or have experienced any of the good parts of womanhood. I feel no desire to, because despite sharing the same biology, we are not socially the same. I feel like, in this experience, theres a stark divide between the social category of "women" and biological category of "female." What is your take on this, I'm curious?

The crucial issue here is that you’re conflating women and femininity. You say there’s a difference between women and females, when you instead mean there’s a difference between feminine women and non-feminine women. You believe women are socially constructed, when you instead mean femininity is socially constructed.

The only way you could think that your non-conformance to femininity indicated that you were not a woman, is if you believed femininity was innate and inseparable from women. This is not only an unabashed display of bioessentialism, but a reinforcement of the same sex-based roles and sexist stereotypes that gender ideologues purport to be defying. 

In case you don’t know, the concepts of femininity and masculinity were created solely to enforce female subjugation and male domination (elaboration here). Therefore, nothing is more misogynistic or in direct contradiction to the radical feminist goal of gender abolition than claiming women are defined by the very social construct created to subjugate them, rather than by their biological sex.  

I’ll be honest, I feel increasingly irritated and hopeless every time I receive these messages of “I’m not a woman because I don’t conform to society’s sexist, outdated idea of what women are.” How can you not see how backwards it is to believe your conformity to a demographic’s harmful stereotypes is what determines whether you belong to that demographic? In what other circumstances is this ever the case?

This is a genuine question: why is it so hard for you to acknowledge that you’re a gender-non-conforming woman? Why must you go through all these mental cartwheels and act as though being a woman is contingent on how others view you, or how you socially conduct yourself, or what degree of oppression you face? What benefit do you see in defining women by the social construct of femininity (hierarchical, prescriptive, arbitrary) rather than defining them as female (non-hierarchical, descriptive, concrete)? 

Much of my frustration stems from the knowledge that radical feminists and gender ideologues actually hold similar views on the concepts of women and men, until they diverge at one crucial, irreconcilable point: 

Both radical feminists and gender ideologues acknowledge the existence of regressive stereotypes attributed to the sexes. But where radical feminists seek to remove the stereotypes from the sex, gender ideologues instead, quite stupidly, seek to remove the sex from the stereotypes.

In short, I still consider you a woman completely deserving of access to women’s spaces, because being a woman does not, and should not, have any other prerequisites other than being an adult, a human, and a female. There are not, and should not be, any behaviors, aesthetics, feelings, or non-biological characteristics that determine whether you’re a woman. There are no gendered brains; there are no gendered souls. Being a woman is an innate, neutral, and non-prescriptive reality, no different than having freckles or brown eyes or hooked noses.

[i-cant-sing]

Just thinking about Yandere Todoroki clan and reader's random moments.

Reader coming home after a particularly bad day, but poor girl cant even cry or complain without everyone immediately overreacting and pulling you out of school/college or even keeping you from going out at all. So now, reader has to either cry in self pity before she enters her home, wipe her tears and fix herself just enough to show that she hadnt just bawled her eyes out moments ago. That, or do the more risky thing and go home, go to your room and cry under the covers, but then theres always the chance of Rei or the others walking in on you any moment.

Also thinking about baby/toddler reader being sick, just a common cold or flu, nothing major. But with reader whining and being so young, the family's infantalisation goes through the roof and theyd treat you as if you were immunocompromised. I wont lie, but I think Rei is almost kinda... glad when you get sick? She enjoys you being dependant on her for the most things, even when you grow up and are able to handle a cold, she still deludes herself into thinking that you need mommy to come and help you.

I think the one person who is most affected by reader getting sick, no matter what age, is Enji. The man just cant help but view you as a fragile, starving Victorian child the moment you fall ill. In his eyes, even a harsh blow of air is too much for a fragile thing like you, let alone something as bad as the flu. He just- he's holding toddler reader in his arms, who snuggles into his warm body, your tiny nose pink and he cant get the image of you crying and vomiting and being oh so feverish- thats just way too much for your small body. Oh how he almost cried when he took you to the doctor for a shot and you clung to him, trying to bury yourself into him as you begged him to make you feel better, cried to him that you didnt want to get the "big scary needle!" He just had to hold you there in his firm grip as you writhed, had to look away when you looked at him and he saw the feeling of betrayal in your eyes, had to keep himself from not strangling the fucking doctor for not being careful, had to walk out of the clinic and hand you to Rei because he couldnt hear you cry anymore, had to have Rei console both you and Enji (assuring him that "no, Enji. Y/n doesnt resent you for making her get a shot.") and he couldnt even sleep a wink that night because he was standing by your bed, holding your tiny hand with his pinky as a tear finally slipped out of his eye.

ALSO thinking about adult reader going out of the house to meet up with friends, except shes meeting up with them at a club instead of at their house like she told Enji and Rei, and now shes standing outside, abandoned by said friends, and shes now running because a group of pervy men are chasing her and she doesnt know who to call, so she just speed dials Shotou, except someone just changed all your speed dials to one number, and you think youre doomed when Shotou doesnt say a word to you and just hangs up when within minutes, someone comes in front of you-

"Dabi?" He tells you to cover your ears and look away, and you know well by know what that means, so you obey, feeling a bit regretful as those men begin to scream in agony. You dont know how long its been until Dabi pulls your hands away and examines your wounds. He lets you crash into his chest as you sob, and this time, Dabi simply decides to take you home quietly without a lecture.

Hmmm, also thinking about Natsuo who is usually cool as a cucumber, the most normal being in the family, except for his very rare episodes of unbridled rage where he suddenly becomes the Hulk. Good thing for you is that this anger is never directed towards you, rather towards people who actively threaten your life (except Rei cause she gets to play "Im your mom who became mentally unstable because of your abusive dad") The only time NAtsuo is stern with you is when it comes to your health. He's just looking at you with those strict eyes when you refuse to take your multivitamins, or dont want to get a flu shot, or try to make up an excuse so that he cant check your vitals. And when he just grabs your wrist and pulls you to sit down so that he can do his checkup, its in those moments that you realise just how strong your brother is... and how easy it may be for him to overpower you and sedate you if he ever followed through Rei's threats.

[itsgaga]

Paprazzi

“Y/N over here” 

“Nikki”

“Come on Y/N can I get a smile from you”

The flashing lights never stopped, every time your eyes would try to adjust, another storm of flaring lights would blind you. When you and Nikki first got together you were able to deal with the paparazzi, some were actually quite nice and would only ask for a picture or two and then leave you alone, some were more determined to get as many pictures as they could but still they were never rude ;however, as time went on their attention and actions shifted. They once were only focused on yours and Nikki’s relationship but recently they started following you even when Nikki wasn’t there. Their words changed, they once would compliment you, tell Nikki how lucky he was, and would have nice small talk with you, but now, they want to know where you’re going, who with, and for long, insults can be heard when they’re around, they run after you, and follow you in cars, and will sneak around regardless of where you are. 

Today was supposed to be just a normal day, you and Nikki had gone out to get away from the spotlight, the plan was to just go and sit in a cafe hours away from your guys’ home in a small town hoping no one would recongize either of you so you guys could get away from the camera and spend a day without the stress that comes along with being famous ;however, as soon as you guys pulled into the parking lot men with cameras came jumping out of their blacked out cars, all running torwards your direction.

You looked at Nikki, who was looking at the crowd. “Shit” Nikki put the car in reverse but before he could take his foot off the brake the car is surrounded from every angle. Loud screams were coming from outside the car. “Y/N and Nikki” “Y/N and Nikki” “Y/N and Nikki” that’s all you heard, over and over again.

It was never ending, minutes had passed and Nikki had given up, he’s sitting in the front seat with his head resting on the back and his hands covering his face.  The men were clearly getting frustrated and changed their approach to getting what they wanted.

“Nikki, how good is Y/N? You think you’d ever give me a chance to find out”

Nikki removed his hands from his face and looked outside the car.

“Hey man, don’t start”

A guy standing outside your window speaks up.

“Well, if she’s gonna dress like a whore she’s gonna be treated like a whore.”

Nikki was mad, his emotions were all over his face, you could tell he wanted to say something. “Nikki don’t, they just want a reaction” Nikki looked at you then looked down. “We need to leave.” Before you could tell Nikki theres no way to get out, Nikki once again put the car in reverse and began backing up.

Loud shouts from the back of the car were yelling at him to stop, Nikki rolled down his window and told them to get out of the way. Again, the man from your side speaks up.

“Hey Nik, are those things real on her?”

Nikki ignored him.

“I think fake tits look like shit.”

Again, he ignored him.

It wasn’t until the man just flat out called you a whore when Nikki finally snapped and swung the car door open, the man saw Nikki and tried to calm him down.

“Hey, no no Nikki it’s just my job, i’m just doing this for money, I didn’t mean it man, seriously.”

Within seconds Nikki was threatening to beat his ass, there was pushing and shoving and screaming with flashes from the camera. You were done, you wanted to leave, with numerous insults and what felt like thousands of photos being taken, you were just done.

Rolling down the window you yell for Nikki multiple times, he made his way back to the car, clearly still pissed off and got in immediately driving off. “I can’t believe it, I can’t fucking believe it.”  Nikki sighed and looked at you.

“Are you alright, babe.”

You just look at Nikki, give a soft smile, grab his hand, and look out the window. The car ride back was quiet, except for the occasional whispers coming from Nikki, complaining about the paparazzi and muttering a bunch of threats.

He squeezes your hand causing you to look at him “I’m just saying I would’ve beaten his ass if you would’ve let me”. You roll your eyes and smile. “I know babe” Nikki looks at you.

“I’m being serious”

“I know you are”

“Really? Cause I feel like you don’t believe me”

You and Nikki continue back and forth the entire car ride home, completely forgetting about everything that just happened. Realizing only then that you two didn’t need to drive hours away to go somewhere to feel some sort of peace and forget about everything else going on in your lives, the entire time the two of you could’ve just found peace in each other.

Bro. I hate the ending. With a passion. I rewrote it about 7 times. I didnt wanna give up. But i’m tired. Ready for a nap. So enjoy.

[s0apmactav1sh]

Traitor AU! 141 x male reader.

TW: Violence. Mentions of a knife? Reader going through physical torture. Youve been warned

Theres so real mention of pronouns but reader is a male. Minors, fem alligned do not interact. My works are purely for 18 + and are male centered. Thank you.

- Price who gives the order after a tip off directing them in your direction. For what? For giving out info on the recent mission that got them ambushed. You who wakes up in an interrogation room by freezing cold water being splashed over you.

- Ghost who carries out the first part of the punishments they deemed reasonable for your betrayal. Choosing which bones to break that would cause the most pain and injury to you. Starting with bashing in your knees to make sure you wouldnt be walking out of there. Next deciding on breaking a few ribs. To hell you be damned. Each bone broken had you writhing in pain and pleading with him that it wasnt you.

- Ghost who leaves you with several broken bones all over. None of them even caring to question you. Its not like he comes back either. No he stays away after that being unable to look at your face without seeing a traitor. He had half a mind to go back in to break your jaw or give you a black eye but that was to be left up to soap or gaz.

- Soap. Who wasnt usually quick to anger but this? Was unforgivable and you deserved it right? Each time he took the knife to add another cut somewhere a small voice was telling them there was something wrong. But he shook it off taking out his frustration on you cutting you up. Swapping out different blades depending on how angry he was feeling in the minute.

- Gaz who doesnt even go when its his turn instead ignoring your pleas for them to listen. Just watching you through the two way mirror as other soldiers go in and take there revenge for you betraying them. Watching how they beat you bloody, broke bones like ghost had done, cut you up like soap had done and spread the word like price had done.

- You who gave up fighting against it all after 3 days of the constant beatings and torment you were going through. You tried convincing yourself that they were only angry because they thought it was you. Theyd surely come rescue out of there as soon as they came to their senses. Right? Right??

- You who gave up the hope after two weeks. None of them had returned leaving it up to the other soldiers to torture and do what the wanted to you. Your body had numbed most of the pain. Even when a soldier took a pilars to your teeth. Ripping some of them out. When said solider then broke your jaw with the same pilars leaving your mouth a bloody mess.

- Price who was going mad at not finding anything that he could properly pin the betrayal on you. All he had was the tip off but even then was it true? No. It wasnt. Ghost had caught the proper mole. The one who was selling information. The one who had framed you.

- Price who demanded all torture towards you stop. But it wasnt quick enough. Most of the wounds left were infected from being left untreated in a damp room. Even medics were sure you'd heal properly because they werent allowed in to asses your injuries until now.

- Ghost who felt guilty but didnt show it. He was disgusted with how easily they all believed it, how quick they were to resort to torture. Soap who couldnt believe the little voice in the back of his head that he had been ignoring was telling the truth. After seeing you in the hospital covered in bandages and casts for the broken bones he knew he shouldve listened to it but he was blinded by his anger.

- Gaz who had refused to visit you, almost like he had refused to torture you. It didnt mean he wasnt as bad as the rest of them. No he had let others do his piece for him which made him just as bad. Now all he cpuld do was watch you through the mirror to your hospital room hoping you'd heal.

- Price who was in denial over what he had done. Refusing to accept he had given the order. He had been to visit seeing you hook up to the machines the fact that you would have to take leave for who knows how long. And the possible chance that you would never be the same. Torture did things to people, altered their mindsets and he was worried that would happem to you.

- You would didnt properly wake up until a month later, medics having to sedate you when you did wake up since the pain was clearly unbearable from the way you thrashed and squirmed in the bed. You who had to be strapped down so you didnt fall and worsen the injuries that were struggling to heal already.

- You who couldnt even look at any of them when they finally came to visit. Just staring up at the ceiling. Deep in thought remembering the harsh words they screamed at you the way they tortured you in that room for 17 days straight. They tried their best to talk to you or get you to look at them but you couldnt. Nor would you. You didnt feel safe around them. A chill piercing you each time they even touched you.

-now came the question was what would you do when you healed?

Pt 2???

[kelocitta]

As a pre-downpour fan, what are the major changes/differences you noticed between the fandom pre- and post- dp?

Really the only thing I would say is a notable 'change' is a shift in how most character-based fanworks is. Base game RW slugcats are pretty straightforward lil animals with small hints of personality, but nothing really strong. It's less a personality and more a vibe. The iterators aren't much different- the ways they interact with you and with each other is something sort of hard to dig into. A lot of people came away with just understanding moon and pebbles as "the nice one" and "the mean one" and the slugcats were very similar. People complain about infantalizing Pebbles now but god I'll take that over the villianization. Funny enough, if I had a nickle for every "Robot that was characterized as a complete asshole before getting a sequel that better explained their actions and issues and suddenly they were infantalized instead" I'd have at least two, which is fun. DP has a lot more direct character, even if you don't think its fitting. The slugcats are more distinct from each other and fit nicely into archetypes if you want them too, but there is still wiggle room for people to change it up without being 'wrong'. The iterators have more in-game content of or about how they interact with the world and each other, they have more personal relationships with certain slugcats, they have actual designs for more than Moon and Pebbles, etc. Its much easier to get a feel for the characters and that means content directly about them is more appealing. Not just shipping (although absolutely shipping, since pre-DP the characters you had actual interactions for were animals, or siblings, or you had like one blurry picture and an offhand reference. People still tried!) but anything about how they would play off each other or behave is just... easier to do. So you have more of that. The less vague things are, the more people actually pick up on it. A lot of vanilla RW asked you to dig into it yourself, which a ton of people simply aren't going to do- even people who LIKE the thing. DP has a very different vibe than vanilla RW, Its well done but if you dig into it you can see the ways it attaches onto the base game rather than seamlessly extends. And I think one of those ways is just that its much more broadly appealing storytelling. Other than that its just a bigger fandom with bigger fandom issues. Not anything unique to RW, just par for the course for fandoms to get bigger and suddenly things feel more disconnected or overwhelming or less friendly or that it feels like theres more drama. And these issues aren't absent from pre-DP RW, there was its fair share of drama in regards to people who were either assholes or predators. It never didn't have that problem because thats an unavoidable problem to have when you have a bunch of people who are strictly united by the fact they like the same thing.

[i-heart-hxh]

does ikalgo have deeper significance to killua's character? i get that hes like a new friend for killua but why does it feel like he was portrayed so importantly to killua's character during caa? its like theres a deeper meaning, why did killua go out his way just to save ikalgo from those two chimera ants when they entered the building? and why did he look so hesitant? he had thoughts that said "what am i doing..? why the hell am i going the opposite direction?" or something like that. idk it just feels like togashi was implying something abt killua there but i cant figure out what that is. do u have an idea?

Hello! This is a great question!

Ikalgo's friendship with Killua is vital both to Killua's development and also to Chimera Ant arc as a whole! I can explain that significance.

Throughout much of the series, Killua tags along with Gon and primarily focuses on him. He befriends other people, certainly, but he generally does this through Gon--it's not like he's going out of his way to make these friends on his own.

In Chimera Ant Arc, the connection between Gon and Killua gets somewhat disrupted by the events that happen, and Gon's focus shifts primarily to saving Kite and his revenge on Pitou, leaving Killua to worry and feel somewhat left behind and helpless (partly as a result of the the Palm situation as well).

When Killua splits off from Gon to try and save civilians, he meets and a battles an enemy at the time, Ikalgo.

During their fight, Killua gives Ikalgo a choice: Either sell out his friends by revealing their nen powers, or die. Ikalgo chooses to die rather than betraying his friends, and Killua is able to relate to this loyalty. He spare's Ikalgo's life and tells Ikalgo that if they'd met another way, maybe they could have been friends.

Killua's kindness in empathizing with Ikalgo and sparing him is the only thing that saves his life later when he's bleeding out from the needlefish darts. Had Killua not extended that mercy and said those kind words to Ikalgo, Ikalgo would not have saved him, and he would have died.

It's interesting/neat how the scene right after Ikalgo saving Killua from the needlefish involves Gon having his own encounter with another friendly Chimera Ant, and the tone of their conversation is quite a bit different:

Contrast is so important in Chimera Ant Arc!

Anyway, when Killua shows Ikalgo mercy, makes it clear that they're friends now, and invites him to come along and be part of the human side of the war, he essentially becomes to Ikalgo what Gon has been to him: Someone who represents light, and who represents a path forward to a better life. In this arc, Killua worries that he doesn't deserve a place at Gon's side, but at the same time here he extends the same kind of light and hope that Gon gave him to someone else.

As for the scene where Killua breaks off away from Gon in the Palace Invasion in order to protect Ikalgo, this continues to show Killua's world expanding outside of Gon. Notice how in this page, it clearly shows Killua leaving Gon behind--they have their backs to each other, which is a frequent image in this arc. His mission was to protect Gon and make sure Gon could complete his revenge against Pitou, so deviating from that mission is both shocking to him, and potentially dangerous, but it shows that he's starting to protect and care for others as well as Gon.

Now, I want to be clear that I see this as a positive step for Killua. At this point in the series, Killua had made Gon his entire reason for living, essentially, and him going outside of that and making other friends and protecting and caring about them is a vital step for his character. It's showing that he's becoming a more expansive, mature person who can care for multiple people (or ants) at once rather than centering his entire existence and sense of self around one person. He made this action as quickly and efficiently as possible so he could get back to Gon's side, but he did go out of his way and leave Gon behind momentarily, and even he is surprised by this.

And while obviously I adore his nearly single-minded love and devotion for Gon, with what happens between them in this arc he needs to have others in his life besides Gon, and it's part of his transition into also being the light for Alluka and Nanika. It's a result of Killua's own innate kindness and empathy and the choice he made to leave his previous life behind, but also, he was able to reach this point partly because Gon showed him the love and encouragement he needed to become the person he is.

Now, as for Ikalgo's role in the arc as a whole: He's part of a chain of kindness and mercy that ends up changing the entire outcome of the Chimera Ant arc. This post puts it incredibly well. The chain of kindness started at the beginning of the series, with Gon befriending and rescuing Killua in spite of his background, which then eventually leads to Killua sparing Ikalgo (who then saves Killua right back), and then Ikalgo sparing Welfin, and then Welfin giving Meruem Komugi's name so that they got to be together in the end. Ikalgo shows the consequences of Killua's kindness, which are also the consequences of Gon's kindness, in part.

A major theme of the series and of Chimera Ant arc is that love and kindness are transformative, and Ikalgo has such an important role in demonstrating that theme.

[big-box-of-kinda-silly-fop-ideas]

Just wanted to make like a proper way bio thing for peri (irep coming soon probably if i bother)

I would write fanfiction but uh idk if i could so these are more like characters notes

real long post below

Peri is a highly independent adult, he doesn’t like being coddled or touched without any warning and isnt the type to ask for help at all even if he really needs it. He’s an extremely closed off person using the suave act as a way to personally seperate himself to others which he developed due to his celebrity status, the suave personality also acts as a way to keep face as he never knows where could be camera. He pretends this cool collected guy, that can worm his way to getting anything (which is true) that has everything under control but in reality he’s this kinda dorky dude, that always anxious on how people perceive him and his grades. He’s an overachiever, after the initial first baby born hype died down he’s mostly known as the really smart youngest fairy in existence, he’s was an academic weapon throughout spellementary school and hs (im basing his education system off mine which is only two schools no middle 4-12 and 12-18) and came to uni with overconfidence in his educational abilities. Theres one thing thats consistent between his suave act and his actual self which is he’s petty as hell and very snarky, you can try talking him down but he’ll roast you back or give you a vaguely threatening threat. As well as being a bit prideful and vain, like he knows he’s pretty and smart and cares a lot about his appearance.

In this uni au he’ll be a bit of a static character he doesnt grow much, and struggles with demonstrating his affection or his struggles. (Which is why dev and peri dont exactly work much cause peri is overcompensating on how much coddling he got, and show affection in a more subtle way that dev doesn’t need as he need a more direct way (and heres a thought i dont think peri wouldve ever said he cared for dev unless delirious) ) . But he’s more openly affectionate with his parents cause he loves them. What he mainly goes through is humbling, he starts fairly prideful and overconfident but starts to slowly crumble from the pressure and anxiety. As in he doesnt say no to anything, hes somehow always busy or doing something, he also studies not enough and too much (crams shit in) and he also got his celebrity things to do. Another arc will be opening up to Goldie and Irep (but they'll be his only friends) cause he doesnt learn shit about how to socialise without depending on the act. He’s also easily frustrated, if things dont go in the way he wants he gets frustrated at himself, like he really put his self worth on his abilities to do things and less on who he is as a person. Like everyone praised him for his intelligence, charm, talent, magic and appearance, like he hates being coddled but he likes being praised, while irep doesnt get praised and seeks getting praised. But that doesnt change the fact he is a genuinely nice-ish person he just doesn’t like disappointing people, especially those close to him but he’s got a bit of an ego but not in a narcissistic way but in a young adult way where he doesnt exactly think for others first but for himself because he doesnt want to disappoint people. (Which is seen in battle of dimmsonian where hes more worried about being seen by his parents and his career choices then dev). Which is also why he’s a stickler to the rules, like he doesnt want people to think he’s bad person but also jorgen literally drilled it into him that breaking the rules is bad. Like he’s the type to do it right by the books, that comes from him being a bit of a people pleaser, and genuine concern of him messing up his perfect facade.

Speaking of Goldie, i would describe their relationship as fairly close. It takes a while for the either of them to open up to anything personal but they start off as friends of mutual benefits. They use eachother as study buddies, people to hang out with and to talk about their slightly weird interests. And the more they go through uni the more they will confide with each other. Like i imagine a tipping off point for their friendship is when peri finally breaks and gets like a panic attack, Goldie will be there to boost him up. Irep is also their friend but he’s in it more to best Peri or to piss him off. Irep is one of few to see through his act and knows how to break it.

Like genuinely i do think hazel and peri may be counterparts to each other like they both lost their sibling figure, both overthinks scenarios and both want to be appear more mature then they actually are. Like i want anw to be where he grows the most because he’s more challenged to question his behaviours and habits, especially with how these traits affect his and dev’s relationship for the worse.

[liliesonpandora]

I’m a Warrior Like You

Pairing: Jake Sully x Daughter! Reader

(Gifs by World-of-Pandora)

Plot: You are Jake and Neytiri’s only daughter and youngest child. You disobey your father’s orders and leave home to join the mission where you put yourself in danger. He saves you and you have a fight when he gets home.

Warnings: violence, family conflict, angst

Note: single quotation indicate inner thoughts; double quotation indicate spoken dialogue

You and Lo’ak sat crosslegged in your family’s tent at High Camp, waiting for Neteyam to return with news from the war party. As his figure appeared at the entrance, you both got to your feet anticipating his report.

“Teyam, what’s going on?” You asked him without hesitating, curious to find out what the mission was.

He paused to take a breath after running all the way back. “Cargo train is on schedule to come through pretty soon. It’s carrying weapons and all kinds of materials. We’re gunna stop it on the route and steal as much cargo as we can before they hit us back.”

You and Lo’ak exchange a look. You both knew that hitting a cargo train was huge. They go incredibly fast and don’t do unplanned stops until reaching their destination. They wouldn’t be expecting an attack.

“When do we head out?” You ask Neteyam.

He quickly glances at his brother with an expression you don’t quite recognize. He hesitates a little with his response, which is different from the conviction he had less than a minute ago. “Um Dad’s waiting on a report from Tarsem, and then he’ll give out orders any minute now.”

You run over to the weapons shelf to grab your bow and secure it on your body. Lo’ak and Neteyam watch you and you can already tell what they are thinking without having to ask. ‘So that’s what this is about,’ you think to yourself. You speak before either one of them could say anything.“Dad is gunna let me come this time, he has to.”

“I don’t know, baby sister. Don’t get your hopes up,” Neteyam warned while giving you a sorry look. Your father rarely lets you join the war party like your brothers. You were the youngest. But you’ve been practicing your flying and hunting everyday. It was only a matter of time that he let you come on the mission. And this one was big… they would need as many eyes in the sky as possible.

“If you guys are going on this mission, then so am I.”

Lo’ak shot one more skeptical look at Neteyam and shrugged. They could think whatever they wanted, but you didn’t care. A few moments later, Jake came sprinting into the tent. His eyes scanned the area to take a look at his children, and they settled on his eldest first. “Okay, we’re moving out. Neteyam, report to Tarsem. He will put you and the other young hunters in position. Follow his orders.”

“Yes sir,” Neteyam replied with a nod before exiting the tent.

He turned to Lo’ak next. “Lo’ak you’ll be spotting from above and calling in any enemy aircrafts. You know what to do.”

‘So do I,’ you think.

“Wait for your mom’s signal and then head out, copy?”

“Copy.” Lo’ak’s eyes linger on you for a while while he is exiting the tent. You give him the slightest nod, letting him know that you would be okay. You watch him leave and then turn back to your father. He is now reaching for his rifle and checking his ammo. You wait patiently for your order, but it never arrives.

Without even looking in your direction, Jake begins to walk out of the tent. You couldn’t believe he was doing it again. ‘Theres no way he’s going to ignore me,’ you think. You run after him and clear your throat. Suddenly there was a lump that wasn’t there before. You remember that every other time up until now, you had stayed home while your parents and brothers went on missions. You never complained, only obeyed. But today was going to be different. Today you were ready, and you were certain of it.

“Um Dad, what about me?” But no response. ‘Is he too preoccupied? Or is he ignoring me?’

“Dad!” You shout, which finally gets his attention and he looks in your direction, waiting for you to speak. You can’t tell what the expression on his face is. ‘Is he annoyed?' You don't know and you don't care. His eyes travel down to your body, like he is only now noticing that you are equipped with your bow. You swallow and speak.

“What should I do? I can get in position with Lo’ak when it’s time,” you offer.

“No babygirl, stay here with your grandmother.”

“What?”

“You heard me, y/n. I don’t have time to argue with you right now, get back inside.”

You open your mouth to protest, but he interrupts before you can. “Don't make me repeat myself, you understand me?”

You said nothing, only stared at him while your bottom lip started to quiver.

“Do. you. understand me?” He said once more, but much slower and harsher. ‘What was this tone? He had never spoken to you like that before. Why was he being so mean?’ You were fuming with anger. Why was he so unwavering in his decision? You hesitated for a little, considering talking back. But you knew this wasn’t the time or place, it would only make him mad. So you swallowed your pride and answered him.

“Loud and clear,” you say through gritted teeth, making sure he knew how you felt about the situation. Without another word, he mounts his Ikran and takes flight. At this point, you are fighting back tears. You couldn't believe he would force you to stay home once again while everyone else was out fighting. But you knew one thing... there was no way you were going back inside.

Everyone had already left, and your grandmother was stationed in the healing and recovery tent. You could leave and no one would even realize you were gone. You moved swiftly because you knew that if you gave yourself more time to think, you would talk yourself out of it.

You ran to your ikran, which was already saddled up. It provided for a smooth mount. You connected your queue with hers and felt her deep breathing through tsaheylu. “Okay girl, let’s do this,” you tell her. And within seconds, you were off gliding through the air.

Lo’ak had left a good while ago, but that didn’t matter. You knew exactly where to meet and you would catch up to him in no time. You often listened in on the war party’s strategic meetings. Not only were your senses keen, but you were also good at staying hidden and evading anyone before being caught. It served you well.

You eventually spot Lo’ak and circle around, greeting him. A smile lit up his face and he looked excited to see you. You had to admit, it felt good to be out here with him; it was exhilarating.

“Y/n! Dad let you come?”

“Yeah, he gave me orders right after you left,” you lie.

His smile of excitement turns into a skeptical smirk. “Bullshit, then how come he didn’t just tell us to leave together?”

You rolled your eyes in annoyance at how quick he assumed you were lying. You thought about continuing the lie but ultimately decided against it and admitted the truth. “Alright fine, he told me to stay home. But I left anyway.”

He put his hand up to his head and groaned. “Jesus, you’re done for.”

“I’ve always done what he asked of me and this is the first time I’m doing something for me. He can’t be that mad.”

“I don’t know sis, first offense is always worse cause he expects more from you. Take it from me, a repeat offender," he warns with his palms up in the air.

You hate to admit it, but Lo’ak might actually be right about this one. You really didn’t want to disappoint your father, but you felt like you would be easily forgiven. Yeah you snuck out, but you were being safe and useful. You decided that the reward was worth the risk. “Don’t worry about me,” you tell Lo'ak.

“Okay come on, I’ve been circling the area.”

“Anything, yet?”

“Nah.”

After waiting for what seemed like five minutes, you spotted something down in the forest. “Lo’ak, AMP suits 9’ o clock.”

“Holy shit, I didn’t even see em.”

“Hurry up and call it in. Or do I have to do your job for you again?”

“Damn sis, go easy on me. Maybe Dad should have you out here."

You smiled at him proudly. You’d call it in yourself but you left your tech at home, which was an amateur move on your part. Oh yeah, and there's also the fact that you weren’t supposed to be there and your dad would kill you if he found out.

Lo’ak pressed the mic on his comms and called to your father. “Devil Dog come in, this is Eagle Eye.”

“Eagle Eye, send your traffic.”

“Got eyes on two AMP suits, carrying heavy gear.”

“What’s their position? Over.”

“About two klicks south, right past the old cave. Over.”

“On my way. Over.”

Lo'ak turned to you next. “Y/n, you should probably get out of here before Dad sees you.”

“No way, things just got exciting.”

“It’s your funeral.”

“We’re so far away from the action, it’ll be fine. I’ll leave before he-

“Eagle eye come in, this is Devil Dog.” The sound of your father's voice interrupted you.

“I read you," Lo'ak responded.

“We’re taking fire over here, I won’t make it to you. Abort the mission and get to cover!”

“Copy that!"

"Alright baby sis, we gotta go," Lo'ak said to you.

“Wait, we can do it.”

“What?”

“Dad can't get here in time, but you and I can do it.”

“I like a little adventure as much as the next guy, but that plan is actually insane.”

“It will work. You saw all that gear they were packing, it's a major jackpot. There's two of them and two of us. If we attack from above, they won't even see us coming. They won't have time to hit us back."

“I don't know about this. Usually, I'm the one doing stupid shit. Who are you?”

You ignored his joking demeanor, you were serious. “Aren't you tired of being overshadowed and ignored?”

“Yeah, I guess?”

“I don't know about you, but I wanna prove what I can do. And I know I can do this.”

He looked like he was thinking it over, going through all the scenarios in his head. And then finally he agreed. “Okay.”

“Okay?” You repeated.

“Let’s do it.” You knew you could count on him, he always had your back. The both of you began to dive down into the forest, getting closer to the targets.

“How’s your aim?” You asked him.

“Could be better.” Suddenly he was worrying you.

“That’s not what I wanted to hear, big bro.”

“Don't worry, I got this.”

“That’s more like it.”

The two of you go over the plan a few times while flying to the location. Hidden amongst the trees, you would aim your bows and take them out simultaneously as they were walking in your direction. If either of you failed, it would alert them to your position and trigger a counterattack. So you knew you couldn't fail. You took a few deep breaths, all your training had prepared you for this moment. You lined up your arrow and signaled for Lo'ak to do the same. "On me," you whispered. He nodded in agreement. Then you mouthed a countdown silently and… released.

You watched as both arrows instantaneously pierced the glass of the suits and the bodies that inhabited them. The machines, no longer having someone to control them, fell to the ground with a huge thud. You and Lo'ak looked at each other in amazement. He put a finger to his lips, telling you to stay quiet. You waited for a while in silence, wanting to make sure they were dead. When it felt safe, you jumped down from the trees, leaving your ikrans perched. Creeping up behind the machinery, you confirmed the kills. "Oh my god,” you exclaimed, in disbelief that it actually worked.

"We actually did it! Woohoo!" Lo'ak yelled while raising his arm to give you a high five. You slapped his hand with yours and pulled him in for a hug. "Hell yeah, I knew we could do it!" You cried. The smile on Lo'ak's face was big and bright.

"Okay, now let's see about the gear," he reminded you. You nodded in response. You were about to begin opening cases of weapons when you were interrupted by the loud whirring of a helicopter approaching. You looked to the sky to see where it was coming from. ‘Oh no.’

“Shit! Run back to the Ikran, go!" Lo'ak screamed.

Without another word, you took off running as fast as you could. Why the hell would you leave the ikran so far away?! You weren't thinking.

"Call Dad!" You screamed over your shoulder at Lo'ak, but you couldn't see where he was. Your vision was blurred and your legs felt like jelly from the adrenaline. An explosive hit the ground by your feet, flinging your body into the air. You hit the ground below with incredible force. And then there was just darkness.

***************************************************************

“Y/n! y/n! Baby, wake up please!” You slowly opened your eyes and your father's face came into focus.

“Dad?”

“Oh thank god, what the hell are you doing here y/n?!”

Then you remember where you were and what you did. You opened your mouth to speak, but it was difficult to talk. “I just... wanted to help.”

You moved to sit up, but dizziness overtook and there was an aching pain in your head. ‘And where was Lo'ak?’ you wondered. “Woah not so fast, I got you.” Your dad said before he scooped you up in his arms and began to run.

"Dad."

"Yes, baby."

“My head hurts.”

“You must have hit it pretty hard. But you know who I am and where you are, so that’s a good sign.”

“I’m sorry. Are you mad?”

“Never mind that. I’m gonna get you home now. Just try to stay awake for me okay?”

“Okay.” But you could already feel your vision getting blurred again, and your eyelids felt extremely heavy. The last thing you remember is your father calling your name before the darkness.

***************************************************************

You opened your eyes to the ceiling of the tent. You were lying in one of the bigger hammocks at home, and there was wrapping all over your body. You guess that's where you were wounded. You notice that your head no longer hurts like it did before. Grandmother must have healed you. You begin to sit upright. “Ma ite, you are awake," your mother said softly with a smile.

“Mom?”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better. Where’s Lo’ak?”

“He is with Neteyam, he is alright.”

“And Dad?”

“He is taking care of the aftermath of the mission, he will be home soon. You hit your head, we were so worried about you.”

“I’m sorry, mom.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to scold you. I’m afraid your father will do enough of that for both of us.”

“You don’t agree with him, do you?"

“That doesn’t matter right now, my love. You know how much worse this could have been. You are never supposed to go off on your own, even if your brother was with you.”

“I know.”

The screech of your father’s ikran echoes throughout the cave. Your heart begins to race. ‘Be strong, be strong,’ you repeat over and over in your head. Your mother gives you a concerned look before she leaves the tent to greet your father.

“Hey sweetheart, where’s y/n? Is she feeling okay?” You hear him ask her. 'So he is worried about me, that's a good sign.'

“She’s inside. She said she feels much better… Jake go easy on her for now, she’s still recovering.”

'Uh oh,' you think. Your father enters the tent and walks over to you.

“Dad.”

"You feeling better, honey?" You nod, taken aback at the question.

“What were you thinking? Do you know how dangerous that was?!"

“Yes sir."

“You deliberately disobeyed my direct order and put yourself into harms way!”

“You refuse to let me come on missions! I was just trying to show you that I can handle this! The mission was going fine, I just got ahead of myself at the end and… I messed up okay! I know that!

“There’s a reason I told you to stay home.”

“Really? What is it then?! Because whenever I ask, it seems to just be cause you said so. I have listened to you every time. I have obeyed every order from you. And the one time…”

“You’re not ready.”

“I’ve passed every test a warrior needs to pass, Dad. I am more than ready.”

“You don’t understand the gravity of what you've done. What if things were worse? I need to be prepared to get all of you out of there if something goes wrong. If I don’t even know where you are, let alone that you’re out there at all… how am I supposed to make sure you’re safe? Did you think about that?"

You said nothing.

“No, cause you didn't think at all. If you can’t even follow simple instructions at home and trust my authority, how can I expect you to do that on a mission?”

“So, you’re authority at home now too?" You don't know why you said that. You just wanted to get back at him.

“You’re grounded. If you think you’re leaving high camp in the next century, you’ve got another thing coming.” He turned to leave the tent.

‘He can't keep me here,' you think to yourself. “We’ll see,” you mutter under your breath.

He turned back towards you. “What did you just say?”

‘Fuck.’ “Nothing.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“Stop treating me like a little kid.” You don't know why you kept talking back. You were just so upset, you couldn't sit there in silence like a little soldier.

“So grow up, and stop acting like one! You made your choice and now here come the consequences. But you can’t even take em like the so-called adult you wanna be. Instead, you’re throwing a tantrum cause you didn’t get your way.”

“I'm not throwing a tantrum. I’m yelling because I’m just as good as Neteyam, but you don’t respect me enough to let me show it.”

“Guess what sweetheart, you gotta give respect to get respect.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You wanna know why Neteyam got to go on all the missions? Because he listened and acted responsibly when I asked him to. Because I know I can trust him. I can’t say the same for you.”

“Jake!” Your mother hissed at him. She knew he went too far with that one.

That hurt… a lot. “I hate you!” You screamed, tears welling up in your eyes. You looked up at the roof to slow the process but you knew that if you blinked or thought about his words, the tears would fall. You refused to let him see you cry. You refused to let him know just how much he hurt you. So you ran out of there as fast as you could.

You couldn’t even see where you were running to, but you ended up in Neteyam’s arms. He must have been there the whole time… listening to the entire argument. You tried to push him away but he held you tightly against his body until you stopped fighting him.

You let it all out, all the tears you were holding in. He held your head to his chest as you cried and ran his hand over your hair. Lo’ak appeared next. You were sure he got his ass chewed out too, but here he was to comfort you. You released from Neteyam’s hug to look at him. “You okay?” you ask, examining all the wraps on his body.

“I’m fine sis, don’t worry about me.” He wiped your tears away with his hand and tucked a few of your braids behind your ear. Neteyam’s arm was still around you, and you didn’t want him to let go. Both your brothers knew what it felt like to get scolded by your dad, so it warmed your heart that you weren’t alone right now.

“It’s okay baby sister, he won’t be mad forever. It will blow over soon,” Neteyam comforted.

“Whatever, I don’t care.” You lied, you did care. You had never had a fight with him like this. He was always so gentle with you, it felt like your special bond was breaking.

“Come on, let’s go find Spider at the lab. He’ll cheer you up,” Lo’ak offered.

“Yeah, that’s not a bad idea," Neteyam chimed in.

You appreciated that they didn't tell you ‘I told you so.’ So you nodded and agreed to go, taking Lo'ak's hand and following behind him.

“Neteyam.” You heard your father say from a distance away. It sounded like he was trying to speak quietly.

“Yeah, dad?” He replied.

“Just make sure she’s okay. And come back for dinner.”

“I will Dad, don’t worry.”

Jake probably thought you didn’t hear him say that. You could not believe he had the nerve to yell at you like that and then act like he cared.

Neteyam and Lo’ak ended up being right, Spider did get your mind off things. You told him all about today’s mission and he went on and on about how cool you were. He was a great friend to you, like another older brother… only smaller.

When you and your siblings returned home, you joined your parents for dinner. Everyone made small conversation, but you ate in silence. Your dad kept trying to catch your eye, but you tried twice as hard to avoid his gaze. You lost your appetite and could barely stomach the food, which was unfortunate because it was your favorite dish. You were sure your mom made it, especially for you.

You weren’t about to let your father think you were still affected by him, so you ate your dinner as quick as you could. You hoped that you could trick your brain into thinking you weren't feeling sick to your stomach. But that ended up backfiring because your dad reached over and refilled your bowl once it was finally empty. There was no way you could eat a second serving, so you accepted defeat and put the bowl down. Both Jake and Neytiri looked over at you in surprise. “Actually, I’m full,” you admit.

“Oh, I’m sorry sweetheart. You ate so fast, I thought you wanted more,” he explained. That was the first time you made eye contact with him all evening. He had a sad look.

“Ma ite, don’t force yourself if you can’t eat anymore,” your mom added.

“Thanks, it was delicious mom. May I be excused? My stomach is a little upset.”

“Of course, my love," she said. Your parents gave you a look of concern before Mo’at interjected. “Shall I have a look at you, my child?”

“No grandmother, I’m okay. I’m just going to go rest.”

You went off on your own for a while, trying to occupy yourself with a million different things… like sharpening your knife and continuing to bead a necklace you had been working on. You stayed away for as long as you could before accepting that you had to go home at some point. Just as you were about to enter the tent, you stopped short. Your parents were talking… about you.

“Ma Jake, you were much too hard on her," your mother said.

“I can't let her think she can talk back like that and get away with it. Her attitude is out of line.”

“Hm… I wonder where she gets it from.”

“She wants to be treated the same as her brothers but when it comes to discipline, I’m too hard on her?!”

“She is used to being your little girl. If you yell at her like that, what do you expect is going to happen?”

“Why is she so eager to go out there on missions? She’s just a kid!”

“Our kids see Toruk Makto, the great warrior and the fearless Olo’eyktan of our clan. They just want to be like you and live up to your name. Neteyam and Lo’ak were like this too. Why would it be any different for y/n?”

“She’s not ready. She’s stubborn and she doesn’t listen. I can’t have her out there, it’s too risky.”

“No, she’s headstrong and she has been blindly following your orders without question... until today."

“What?”

“I know you are upset that she disobeyed you. But you know that you cannot keep her sheltered here forever. It is not the way.”

Your father began to say something but your mother cut him off quickly and continued.

“And this is not about her not being ready. She is more than ready. This is about your fear. She is your only daughter and she’s growing up. You are afraid to lose her and that is okay. But be honest with yourself and be honest with her, or she will end up resenting you for it.”

“Fuck, I just don’t know how to do this baby. It was so much easier with her brothers.”

“She doesn’t need a sergeant Jake, she just needs her father. That’s all you need to be. Show her that you care before trying to reprimand her. Right now she’s hurt and embarrassed, and you need to go to her and make it okay.”

“You always know the right thing to say.”

“I know, I'm amazing. Now go find our daughter.”

'Shit, he's coming,' you think. And you run as fast and as quietly as you possibly can. You went to a hideaway that you made with your brothers. The adults weren't supposed to know about it, but they did anyway. You were sure he was going to follow you there. You pick up the jewelry you were working on before and act busy, facing away from the entrance of the hideaway.

You hear him approach. “Sweetheart? You in here?” You don’t respond, wanting to hurt him like he hurt you.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you like that, it wasn’t okay.”

You’ve been replaying that fight over and over again in your head all day and trying to hold it together. Now that he was addressing it directly, you felt like you wanted to cry. ‘No, not now please. Not here in front of him’ you told yourself. You could hear the leaves on the ground crunch beneath his feet. He had entered the hideaway, but you couldn’t see because your back was turned.

“Please turn around, I just wanna talk about it,” he pleaded. He sounded desperate but you wouldn’t give in that easily.

“What is there to talk about when you won’t listen? It’s your way or no way, I should know that by now.” Your voice was trembling, you were so anxious now that you were being confronted by him. You couldn't hold back the tears.

“I’m ready to listen, okay? I promise.” Based on what you overheard between your parents, you knew he was being sincere. But you wanted him to suffer just a tad bit more.

“Come on, I’m trying here. Please look at me?”

But you couldn’t stay mad for long, no matter how hard you tried. You turned on your heel and faced him finally, but your eyes stayed at your feet. “Babygirl,” he called to you. His voice was different this time… softer and almost broken. When he called you that, it felt like suddenly everything would be okay again. And all you wanted to do was run to him.

You rose your head to look up at him. At the sight of your tear-stained face, he instantly dropped to his knees and opened his arms without saying a word. “Daddy!” you cried while running to him. Your little body hit him with so much force, he almost fell backward. But he held you tight, stabilizing the both of you and placing kisses all over your cheek and temple. Your crying became audible, but it sounded muffled against his body. It was like you were letting out all that you’ve been holding in today. It’s been such a long day.

“Shh, I’m here. I got you now,” he soothed you softly while running his hands over your hair. Your airways felt tight and it was difficult to breathe normally while you cried this hard.

Jake could feel you hyperventilating against him, so he motioned for you to take deep breaths with him. When your breathing returned to normal, he lifted you off the ground and began to walk over to the corner; taking a seat with you on his lap. The tears kept flowing while you spoke.

“I’m sorry… I talked back to you,” you cried.

“I know baby, it’s okay. I’m sorry too.”

“You are?”

“Yeah. I said a lot of mean things to you back there, and I wish I could take it all back.” He cupped your cheek with his hand and the warmth of his skin was so comforting.

“I’m sorry I said that I hated you, I was just so mad at you. I didn’t mean it.”

“I know you didn’t. But even if you did hate me, I’d still love you.”

“Even after what I did today?” You looked at him with surprise but then lowered your gaze down to your lap, suddenly feeling ashamed.

“Look at me,” he ordered. His voice was stern but still soft, so you obeyed.

“There is nothing you could say or do that would make me stop loving you. No matter how upset I am, or how much we argue with each other… my love for you will never change. Because you’re my daughter, and I love you unconditionally. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now tell me what was going through your head today.”

“I just wanted to prove myself to you and show you that I could do it. And I know now how dangerous it was to go without informing anyone. And how dangerous it was to attack without orders. But Dad… we did it! We took out those guys so fast. We just weren’t prepared for the counterattack and everything got screwed up.”

Jake let out a deep sigh before speaking. “Babygirl, you don’t have to do things like this to prove yourself to me. Although you’re younger than Neteyam was when I let him on his first mission, you surpassed him in skill when he was this age.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“Then I don’t understand. You know I can do it, so why won't you let me go?” Your mother said it was cause he was scared, you knew that now.

“Because I’m selfish.”

“What?”

“You’re still young, but you’re growing up so fast. I wanted to shield you from this war as much as I could. But it was foolish of me to think that I could keep you from being anything less than what you are. You’re a warrior like me. That’s what you’re meant to be, as long as you want to be.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Mhm. Your mom and I were talking it over and I couldn’t understand why I became so angry that you would even think of doing something like this. And she said it was because I was scared of losing my little girl. And she was right.”

You placed your head on your dad’s chest, wanting to comfort him like he was doing for you. He looked down at you and smiled, then continued to speak.

“When I saw you with your bow today, all dressed for the mission… I just wasn’t ready to send you out there. And when Lo’ak called me and told me that you were there with him, it felt like my heart had stopped beating. Thank goodness Lo’ak was fine when I got there, but to see you lying there unconscious… was one of the scariest moments of my life.”

He must have felt your tears on his chest because he looked down again. “Daddy, I’m really sorry that I put us in danger today. I didn’t want to make you and mom scared. I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay, y/n. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset by telling you all of this. All that matters is that you’re safe now.”

“Thanks for saving us."

“I’ll always come and save you kiddo. Anyway, I want you to know that you are ready. It was me that wasn’t ready to let you go.”

You took a deep breath and you felt like a weight had been lifted off your chest. You could breathe again. “I feel like I’ve been fighting to be seen by you. Trying to live up to not only you, but Lo’ak and Neteyam as well. It was so hard, Dad.”

“I know baby, you can stop fighting now. You’ve worked so hard. You have exceeded my expectations, and you make me proud every day. I see you.”

Once you hear these words, you are overwhelmed with emotion. You started to believe you would never hear your father say this. You hug him even tighter and you feel his strong and steady arms around you.

“Will you forgive me for how I acted?” He asked.

“Of course I will, I love you.”

“I love you more.” He gave you another kiss on your forehead.

“Wait, this means I’m not grounded anymore right?”

He chuckled. “You are no longer grounded. But don’t think you can get away with that little attitude in the future.”

“And I can go on missions from now on?”

“For now, you’ll go on the ones I let Lo’ak go on. But you know you can’t pull today’s shit again.”

“I know.”

“You guys will follow orders, and always have your communication devices on you. No rogue missions, no impulsive decisions. Any slip ups from either of you, and you’re staying home. Copy?”

“Copy.”

“Good girl. How’s your head and stomach feeling?”

“So much better now.”

“Good. Oh and for what it's worth... I saw those AMP suits in the forest and your aim was spot on. We got the gear too, so thank you for that.”

“Yes! I knew it!”

“Alright alright, you got your skills from your mom…”

“And my attitude from you?” You cut in.

He laughed lightly. “I was gonna say confidence, but yeah that too. You’re definitely my kid,” he said while messing up the top of your hair.

“Dad!” You groaned.

“Come on, I’ll change your wraps before bed. I’m sure your grandmother’s probably sleeping by now.” And he knelt down in front of you so you could hop onto his back for ride like when you were little. You climbed on, wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

“Now you gotta redo my hair too.”

“Alright, I got myself into that one. Let’s get outta here.”

He carried you out of the hideaway and you made your way back to your tent. A father and his little warrior.

[fukcnoplease]

Things always go wrong Pt2 :0

Pt1 Pt3 Pt4 Pt5

Dani roused from her sleep to see forests rushing passed and the sun beginning to dip behind them. The world was bathed in the golden glow of the setting sun and she basked in its beauty. This was why she loved traveling. The beauty, the freedom, the fun.

She turned to Danny to see none of those things. He was gaunt and rigid. Eyes pinned to the road in tense silence as they drove way too many miles over the speed limit. 

“Did you die die?” Dani asked, poking his cheek. He felt clammy. That probably wasn't good. Dani didn't feel great either. Tired and saggy, like all her muscles had deflated.

Danny just grunted in response. That was VERY not good. No Danny banter meant Danny really HAD died.

“So is this a drive to heaven or to hell?” She asked. Danny snorted. That was a good sign.

“Gotham.” He grumbled. It sounded forced, like it hurt to say. Dani frowned.

“So hell it is. Why are we going there?” Danny remained silent and his face fell into a scowl. “You’re doing a pretty good Batman impression but that doesnt tell me why we are going to meet him.”

“We are not meeting batman. We are going to Jazz” Danny said.

“Ooh, better than batman!” Dani playfully punched her arms in the air and Danny winced. Dani noticed but didn’t comment as she went to grab his phone. It was cracked slightly and was full of messages and calls from Sam and Tucker. Notably, it didn't have any directions pulled up.

“Do you know where you’re going?” Danni asked. Danny moved for the first time, shifting uncomfortably.

“...No.” He muttered as he kept his eyes on the road. Dani rolled her eyes at him and started looking through his phone, she had learned his password ages ago and as much as he threatened to change it on her, he never did. Though that might have been more forgetfulness than endearment but Dani would interpret it as she wished.

“You are so bad at road trips.” She said as she connected his phone to the aux cord and pulled up directions to Gotham. They still had almost nine hours to drive and the sun was only getting lower. “There is a rest stop about an hour from here. We can rest there for the night.”

Danny didn't look too pleased at the idea but he knew they didn't have any money for a motel and he couldn't drive the entire night. He didn't want to stop driving so soon though. Moving helped dull the pain.

“Are there any further rest stops?”

“Hmm… Theres one about three hours from us?and then another at the six hour mark. We could stop there for lunch tomorrow.” Dani said. Danny grumbled but nodded. He didn't want to stop at all tomorrow. Stopping for the night felt like too much, let alone pausing midway through the drive tomorrow.

The rest of the drive was Dani playing music and chatting away. Chipping away at Danny’s panicked and suffering walls until he finally relaxed into their usual banter. She played eye-spy and when she got bored of that she played twenty questions. When Danny chose a water bear as his animal she gave up on that too. They devolved into silly arguments about how water bears shouldn't be allowed or how it wasn't fair that Dani kept picking things Danny couldn't see in eye-spy. 

As the sky darkened and the car’s headlights came on they fell into an easy silence. Danny still hurt but it was better and Dani’s core was humming comfort at him which helped.

Dani was half asleep when they pulled into the rest stop. The lights still on but the cafes and restaurants, closed or closing. She woke up fully when Danny moved to look through the back seat. Shuffling through whatever he had thrown back there and forgotten about. 

Gloves, a box of tissues, an empty tote bag and an old backpack he used before he bought a new one. It had a gum packet in it and a pen but nothing else. Groaning, he went and opened the trunk, a black scorch mark from where it had been hit earlier that day. He had camping gear for when he went stargazing. A tent, blankets, portable stove and a lighter, gas for the stove, a pocket knife, a mess kit. He was rummaging through when Dani popped up beside him.

“You got twenty dollars in your phone case.” She said and Danny jerked up hitting his head on the trunk door. He rubbed his head and whacked Dani’s shoulder while she laughed, he was smiling but he wouldn't admit it.

He grabbed his phone from the car and Dani closed the trunk, whistling at the damage.

“Who did that?” She asked, eyeing the marks on the car.

“Some fruitloops after a kidnapped ghost.” Danny said.

“Kidnapped? Me? How awful.” She said, putting her hand up and pretending to swoon.

“You’re right. The poor kidnappers.” Danny laughed and Dani rolled her eyes. She punched him in the side playfully and he hissed in pain. 

They both paused and Dani poked his side and he winced.

“Are you ok?” She asked. He hasn't seemed that injured when he was driving.

“Yeah, just a bit tender.” Danny joked. Dani stared at him, waiting for a better answer than that and Danny sighed. “Leaving Amity was harder than I thought it would be.” Dani still didn't really understand but Danny looked like he would rather be sick than answer her and she really didn't want him to be sick in front of her. 

“Do you want to get food?” she asked and Danny gave her a thankful smile before nodding. 

They grabbed a snack each, bbq chips and oreos,  and a bottle of water to share. Dani nicked a portable charger and some jerky while Danny was in the bathroom and then they headed back out to the door. When they were back in the car Dani pulled out the portable charger and plugged in Danny’s phone.

“Where did you get that?” He asked, eyeing it incredulously. It definitely didn't look under twelve dollars and thats all they had left after the snacks.

“Same place we got the rest of this stuff.” She said dropping the rest of the snacks and jerky between them. Danny noted the extra snack but just rolled his eyes. They ate but Danny kept the jerky for the next day and then he pulled out the blankets from his trunk. 

Snuggled up, with their cores harmonizing, they fell asleep. 

The car shook and a bang followed by the crunching and scraping of metal woke them up. Danny shot up, the sky just starting to lighten, face meeting with the barrel of an anti-ecto gun. He lunged to the side. The headrest of his seat was evaporated and Dani sent out her own ecto blast. The attacker was forced back into the white van that was ramming them and they could hear some colourful words through their panic. Danny jammed the key into the ignition and turned it, the engine roaring to life. Shrieking metal filled their ears as the forced the vehicles apart and booked it out of the parking lot. The road bumps sending pieces of glass flying as Danny realized his window had been smashed during the attack. The back seat window seemed cracked but still intact and the windscreen had a spider web fracture but was holding up. His core shuddered at the damage but the pain was overridden by the need to protect Dani. 

He glanced over and saw a very shellshocked young ghost shaking in the passenger seat. She probably used too much ectoplasm in that blast. Neither of them were recovered enough and even with harmonizing he wasn't sure they would be able to recover enough to take another attack. He shook his head and focused on driving.

It took some maneuvers and some, maybe a lot, of speeding to lose the GIW but they managed. Dani pulled up directions and turned on whatever music she could find.

They spent the next few hours staring out their respective windows. Dani didn't like it. She didn't like the silence or the stress or the way her body shook in fear and exhaustion. Road Trips were supposed to be fun.

Danny didn't speak. His core was barely humming, barely responding to her, as they drove. It wasn't until the low gas symbol popped up on the dash that he said anything and of course it was just another curse. Dani was getting fed up with Danny’s shrinking vocabulary. 

She didn't say anything as she added a new stop to the directions, the closest gas station. Maybe a part of her was hoping her grumpiness would get Danny to snap out of whatever grump he was experiencing. Probably not a reasonable or healthy way to handle the situation, if you asked someone like Jazz, but Dani didn't ask Jazz. 

Danny didn't seem to notice though. He pulled into the gas station and turned off the car. His core buzzing with panic as he set up the gas pump and slumped against the car with a groan of pain. Dani frowned and poked her head out of the car. He looked pale, too pale. They were in their human forms, he shouldn't be that pale. At least she didn't think so. Though maybe she wasn't an expert on normal human medicine.

The gas pump beeped and Danny dragged himself up to remove the pump and go into the gas station. Dani suddenly worried about how they would pay, they had filled the tank up to full and that couldn't be cheap. 

Danny stumbled and fell into someone by the gas station entrance, a big guy with tattoos in a tank top, jeans and were those cowboy boots? Danny apologized and the guy shoved him, making him stumble again. Dani almost flew out of the car at him before she noticed a flash of dark leather in Danny’s hand.

No way.

The big tough guy waved him off and went back to smoking as Danny went inside and paid with a wallet he had most definitely not had five minutes ago. Danni stared at her basically brother, slacked jawed, as he casually dropped the wallet back into the guys pocket with some intangibility and then hurriedly slipped back into the car. His face was hard and he glared forward as he started the car.

“Did you just-?” Dani started, her excitement at her brother's newfound skills making her bounce in her seat. 

“No. Dont. Talk about it.” He cut her off, jaw set. She stilled in her seat and went back to pouting. When she vibrated her core at him he didn't even respond. She felt her core freeze at the lack of reaction and she tried again. There was a thump of something and Danny grunted but that was it. That was all that she got. Dread curled in her stomach as she stared at the road in front of her. 

They drove on and Dani didn't even mention the second rest stop they were supposed to stop at and Danny didn't either. There wasn't even music and the silence was only occasionally broken by a pained breath from Danny or an attempted hum from Dani’s core. It was a painful drive and Dani tried to sleep to help time passed. It worked partially, she slept fitfully for about twenty minutes each rest but it helped her heal. By the time they had found themselves in the midmorning traffic into Gotham she was feeling much more herself.

Danny looked worse and his arm trembled from being kept in a tense position for so long. A thin sheen of sweat covered him and Dani opened to her mouth to say something only to slam it shut at the waves of panic suddenly rolling off Danny. 

The car had rolled to a stop as the traffic came to a standstill. Thankfully they were in the slowest lane and there was a hard shoulder on their right but it did little to comfort Danny’s mounting panic. He didn't want to stay still, he couldn't, they were in danger and needed to keep moving. 

“Hey, are you-” Dani was interrupted by an explosion. They both spun to see billows of smoke about twenty cars back and a familiar white van barreling down the hard shoulder. Danny sucked in a breath of air and hit the gas as he swerved into the hard shoulder himself. He pressed on the gas as they went, coming up on a motorcycle attempting to skip traffic. Dani reached over Danny’s shaking arms and slammed on the horn as they gained on the man in red. He glanced back and barely managed to crash out of the way before they ran him down. As they zoomed passed the poor guy Dani looked out her window to give him an apologetic wave. His helmet was weirder when she saw it close up, less like a motorcycle helmet and more like a mask but for his whole head. She gave him a wave and he stared after them. The white van careening after them and obstructing her view. 

Danny followed the hard shoulder until it turned to grass and he kept going. The grass turned into a ditch and he grit his teeth as he maneuvered his beloved car to keep going. Thankfully the car, even turned at an almost forty five degree angle still kept going, if only slower than he would have liked. The white van on the other hand, hit the ditch and flipped, crashing to a halt behind them. Dani watched people crawl out of the van and try to chase after them but even going slowly their car was still faster. Though a lucky shot shattered the back window.

They pulled the car back into traffic, receiving honks and rude gestures before they went deeper into the murky city. It was only another few minutes of driving before Danny found an empty, unkempt parking lot to stop in. He shot out of the car and ripped the back seat door off its hinges trying to get the backpack he had back there. Dani grabbed his phone, the leftover cash, portable charger, and jerky before joining him behind the car as he stuffed his knife, lighter and a blanket into his bag. She offered her stuff and he opened the bag for her. As soon as everything was in he zipped it shut and went to pick Dani up.

“Woah! No! You’re not carrying me. I can walk just fine.” She said, glaring at Danny as he looked back at her. His eyes didn't seem totally focused and she grabbed his hand instead. “If you need to hold on to me so bad you can hold this. Now lets go.” And she was off, dragging a clearly not ok Danny behind her. 

Did she know where she was going? No, but she would figure it out. Unlike Danny, she was used to finding places to sleep in unfriendly and unfamiliar cities. She could recognize safe places to stay. At least she was pretty sure she could.

~~

Gonna try and figure out how to do the Pt1 Pt2 links I actually have like four chapters(?) written cause i got sucked in last night

[laurawaldorf]

Heyyy☺️

Just saw that u are gonna start writing for Eminem so i do have a request 🥹

where the reader is yonger then him like prob in 2005 shes 18 or so and shes a famous singer songwriter (her style being like billie eilish and lana dal ray) and like theres two different versions one where he writes a diss and during an award show she disses him back and like they later resolve their issues or so and something like them ending up recording in the same building and then them hooking up or another version being eminem loves her songs and they record in the same building so he asks to collab and them ending up together and they go through a fight and like she gets a call from his daughters ( coz they get along ) that he’s overdosed and her helping him through that phase and u can write more about how their relationship evolves like her being a huge support to himand hus daughters and them getting married ( or u could add him first not wanting to get married coz of kim but coming to his senses) then him mentioning her in his someone save me song about how much shes been there for him

Just so u know this is a random pitch u can either write somewhat the whole thing or just something like this idea 🥹

U can add anything or change a bit, thanks ☺️

꯭•:◦ 𝗜𝗙𝗛𝗬.

⠀⠀────────────────────

| 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚: Marshall Mathers III (Eminem) x Fem!Reader.

| 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘: Enemies to Lovers and slightly smut.

| 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦: Slighty smut, flirting, making out.

| 𝗥𝗘𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗗: yes.

| 𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗚 𝗜𝗡𝗦𝗣𝗜𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡: My Strange Addiction — Billie Eilish.

( heey, i just wanna thanks for being my first request! i hope you like it. 🤍 )

⠀⠀────────────────────

— Fuck. — It's the first word out of your mouth when you sees your musical rival sitting in the second row next to you at the 2005 VMAs Award.

It was your first MTV event after the release of your first album which was a global success, which gained you an absurd popularity in the pop industry, people knew you wherever you went, celebrities begged for a collab with your participation due to your soft voice and mesmerizing…However, your talent didn't just attract good things, it also attracted negative comments that were something common in an artist's life and a diss coming from the most controversial and well-known rapper of the 2000s, Marshall Mathers, or better known by his alter- ego, Slim Shady.

You discreetly judged Marshall by his look, seeing him smile with that cunning smile while talking to his mentor, Dr Dre. For a moment, your eyes met in quick eye contact, which made you shrug your shoulders and quickly look away as you took hurried steps towards your row, which was one in front, unlike the boy, who responded to the eye contact with a challenging and some sarcastic comments.

You felt the blonde's gaze in your direction, burning your back as if it were a touch, the boy's sharp gaze went through your body as if it were a knife, he knew you had heard the diss, and you knew he was going to use it. that as a weapon.

⠀⠀────────────────────

It didn't take long for the “Best Hip-Hop Video” category to begin, suspense hung in the air until the presenter finally decided to deliver the result: — Just Lose It, Eminem! — The presenter shouted excitedly, his mouth curving into a smile as he held the prize.

The event was filled with screams and applause from celebrities and fans who participated, Marshall got up and walked to the main stage to get his trophy. Discreetly, you sighed deeply, internally wondering how they left that song not only with diss for you but also for Michael Jackson to win, you couldn't say anything, just roll your eyes and cross your arms.

Eminem stood behind the microphone, holding his award in his hands as he thanked the presenter and waved to his fans who screamed for his presence. He got a little closer to the microphone until he started dictating his speech:

— Yo, this is crazy...I don't have a speech with me so I'll just say what comes to mind, I want to thank Dr Dre, my mentor who helped me during the Encore album process, I also want to thank the people at Shady Record and Paul Rosenberg. — Marshall said, letting his blue orbs meet yours. — I'm really happy for the award, but I see that there aren't many people happy about my achievement because of the diss, Right Y/N?

A provocative smile formed on the boy's lips when he mentioned your name, you could hear comments and laughter coming from other participants in the event, unlike you, who adjusted your performance and crossed your legs, your fists clenching every time your gaze fell on that one stupid smile he had on his face, doing everything he could to get to you as if to test your patience. The rest of the night went well, unlike the exchanges of barbs that became news in the media and the looks exuding hatred between the two when they saw each other at the MTV after-party.

⠀⠀────────────────────

After a few weeks, you and your team were invited to start a new album project at a renowned studio in Los Angeles, your excitement was radiant as your mind reasoned and processed several snippets of lyrics and a response to Marshall's diss. However, his excitement quickly disappeared when he saw the same boy in the hallway, making him snort and a disinterested and hateful look form on his face. The rapper noticed a look of anger burning his back, making him turn his head with a look of distrust and mockery until his eyes fell on you, and soon that same sarcastic smile formed on his lips.

Your team made sure the two of you didn't run into each other in the hallways to avoid causing an argument, but it was difficult when Eminem came into your studio just to tease you.

After a long album production session, the moonlight finally fell over the sky, leaving you alone in the room just working on some last details on the first demo of your song. Your concentration and focus was broken by three soft knocks on the oak door, and soon a creak came, revealing Marshall.

— Alone? Even your team doesn't support you anymore? — Eminem asked in an ironic tone, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

The rapper's voice made you shiver with anger, turning your head slowly towards him with an irritated expression and a raised eyebrow. —What the fuck do you want? Isn't it enough to piss me off at the entire VMAs now here too? — You responded with a grunt, removing your headphones as you stood up from his chair.

The rapper's teasing laugh drifted through the studio, stepping forward towards you.

—Are you angry? Did you forget that this is my building and you are inside one of my studios? Or didn't your team tell you that? — The boy responded with the same intensity, his eyes burning your skin.

Your ego was being hurt in that indirect fight, so your pride spoke over you.

You also took a step forward and crossed your arms, looking up at him in an intense gaze.

— I don't care if this studio is yours or not, you've been bothering me all day, are you lacking attention or what? — Your posture was confident, maintaining her eye contact with him.

Only a smirk left Eminem's lips, as he curved his body slightly towards him with his pupils dilated.

— If I managed to make you angry, it's because I caught your attention, right? — He replied, with a quick attack in a mocking and slightly rude tone. Your eyes widened and a small blush formed on yor cheeks, taking a step back slowly, which made the boy's ego even bigger.

— What is that? Where's all that courage you had until now? — He asked, taking another step forward and closing the space between you.

You couldn't deny it, he wasn't ugly, he never was, but his words made you very angry... but that anger was mixing with a kind of desire, a desire that you could see in his eyes.

And Marshall noticed this, with a confident and arrogant smile on his lips, he put his hand on her waist and gently brought her closer. Bringing your face closer. Your mind screamed for you to stop, but you couldn't deny the chemistry going on between the two of you, his blue eyes were like a magnet of attraction, the more you looked, the more you wanted. And then, her face slowly approached his, closing the space of centimeters between them in a fiery kiss, hot and full of desire, desire and anger, her arms entwined around his neck while Marshall's hands caressed her waist and went down to her breasts, caressing the spot as he deepened the kiss. Your hands scratched his back lightly as you murmured between the kiss:

— I fucking hate you.

[jemmo]

Making sense of love for love's sake: the game

Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:

'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'

And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".

When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.

And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.

And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:

"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."

Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.

"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."

And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.

"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."

And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.

And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.

And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.

The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.