#bad smut

[itsgaga]

Paprazzi

“Y/N over here” 

“Nikki”

“Come on Y/N can I get a smile from you”

The flashing lights never stopped, every time your eyes would try to adjust, another storm of flaring lights would blind you. When you and Nikki first got together you were able to deal with the paparazzi, some were actually quite nice and would only ask for a picture or two and then leave you alone, some were more determined to get as many pictures as they could but still they were never rude ;however, as time went on their attention and actions shifted. They once were only focused on yours and Nikki’s relationship but recently they started following you even when Nikki wasn’t there. Their words changed, they once would compliment you, tell Nikki how lucky he was, and would have nice small talk with you, but now, they want to know where you’re going, who with, and for long, insults can be heard when they’re around, they run after you, and follow you in cars, and will sneak around regardless of where you are. 

Today was supposed to be just a normal day, you and Nikki had gone out to get away from the spotlight, the plan was to just go and sit in a cafe hours away from your guys’ home in a small town hoping no one would recongize either of you so you guys could get away from the camera and spend a day without the stress that comes along with being famous ;however, as soon as you guys pulled into the parking lot men with cameras came jumping out of their blacked out cars, all running torwards your direction.

You looked at Nikki, who was looking at the crowd. “Shit” Nikki put the car in reverse but before he could take his foot off the brake the car is surrounded from every angle. Loud screams were coming from outside the car. “Y/N and Nikki” “Y/N and Nikki” “Y/N and Nikki” that’s all you heard, over and over again.

It was never ending, minutes had passed and Nikki had given up, he’s sitting in the front seat with his head resting on the back and his hands covering his face.  The men were clearly getting frustrated and changed their approach to getting what they wanted.

“Nikki, how good is Y/N? You think you’d ever give me a chance to find out”

Nikki removed his hands from his face and looked outside the car.

“Hey man, don’t start”

A guy standing outside your window speaks up.

“Well, if she’s gonna dress like a whore she’s gonna be treated like a whore.”

Nikki was mad, his emotions were all over his face, you could tell he wanted to say something. “Nikki don’t, they just want a reaction” Nikki looked at you then looked down. “We need to leave.” Before you could tell Nikki theres no way to get out, Nikki once again put the car in reverse and began backing up.

Loud shouts from the back of the car were yelling at him to stop, Nikki rolled down his window and told them to get out of the way. Again, the man from your side speaks up.

“Hey Nik, are those things real on her?”

Nikki ignored him.

“I think fake tits look like shit.”

Again, he ignored him.

It wasn’t until the man just flat out called you a whore when Nikki finally snapped and swung the car door open, the man saw Nikki and tried to calm him down.

“Hey, no no Nikki it’s just my job, i’m just doing this for money, I didn’t mean it man, seriously.”

Within seconds Nikki was threatening to beat his ass, there was pushing and shoving and screaming with flashes from the camera. You were done, you wanted to leave, with numerous insults and what felt like thousands of photos being taken, you were just done.

Rolling down the window you yell for Nikki multiple times, he made his way back to the car, clearly still pissed off and got in immediately driving off. “I can’t believe it, I can’t fucking believe it.”  Nikki sighed and looked at you.

“Are you alright, babe.”

You just look at Nikki, give a soft smile, grab his hand, and look out the window. The car ride back was quiet, except for the occasional whispers coming from Nikki, complaining about the paparazzi and muttering a bunch of threats.

He squeezes your hand causing you to look at him “I’m just saying I would’ve beaten his ass if you would’ve let me”. You roll your eyes and smile. “I know babe” Nikki looks at you.

“I’m being serious”

“I know you are”

“Really? Cause I feel like you don’t believe me”

You and Nikki continue back and forth the entire car ride home, completely forgetting about everything that just happened. Realizing only then that you two didn’t need to drive hours away to go somewhere to feel some sort of peace and forget about everything else going on in your lives, the entire time the two of you could’ve just found peace in each other.

Bro. I hate the ending. With a passion. I rewrote it about 7 times. I didnt wanna give up. But i’m tired. Ready for a nap. So enjoy.

[when-life-gives-you-lemons-if]

What's Seduction? Is it a group of books?

Just a series with different short stories all about smut.

It's not just one main game.

[my-favourite-zhent]

Yesterday we created a monster and today we saw fit to unleash it on the world.

@littleplasticrat @dustdeepsea @commander-krios @thisaccountisagainstmywill @fistfuloftarenths and myself created an unholy union of letters based off the most hated erotic terms in free text as posted by@kjscottwrites

Read and suffer at your own peril.

[badsmutchallenge]

Lavender held still, watched him shift and tremble in anticipation, waiting for her to move.

"Maybe you should show me how much you want it, little office slut. Work for it."

Watching Lockhart try to move his body back and forth in the couple of inches he had to spare was satisfying. His leg muscles trembled and twitched, and his spine dipped as he struggled to push himself back upon her.

"Oh yes, Mommy, please."

Lavender's eyebrows flew up at his unexpected cry. His back arched, and the copy machine rattled with the force of his efforts.

"Oh yes, use me, abuse me, shove that hot meat rod right down my kitty!"

His fucking what?

—————————

Find out more info on the A03 Collection.

[tippilo]

Crack fic written with @zeebee3!

[the-uncanny-dag]

The notes on that post about a Tiktok book about a gingerbread sexyman & a baker's wife are some of the most bleak shit I've ever seen & I mean it entirely

[tavyliasin]

April Fools NSFW BG3 FanFic Event!

I've posted before, but I'm sharing it again as there's still 3 weeks to work on the best/worst smut you can think of!

The rules are simple! Long, short, whatever you like - write some BG3 smut using at least one terrible term for bodies or sex acts. 18+ only, of course, but you can enter as many pieces as you like! Hot or hilarious, have fun with it! Tag #BG3AprilFoolishness and feel free to share~

As with all things I run, you're free to use whatever pairings and content you like as long as you clearly tag your content with any appropriate CWs. I can provide example lists of these on request~

Below the cut are some resources and examples of slang terms you might want to use, which are all of course NSFW but you should know that by now~ Links courtesy of the delightful darling @charizardamn - thank you so much for these, love, I cannot wait to use the worst possible samples in my own piece (or pieces, I've yet to decide...)

Disclaimer - apologies for any cisnormative language or terms used in any of these articles. Please also be aware there might be terms that have different cultural connotations to them, and I am absolutely too paper-white and English to be qualified to comment on what is or is not appropriation of BIPOC terms or AAVE. So consider this also a very open invitation to mention things in the comments that should be avoided!

For the Rear, Butt Stuff, the Lower Cleavage:

Penis and Fellatio, Dick, Cock, the Trouser-Sheathed Meat-Weapon:

Vagina, Vulva, and Dining Out, Pussy, Vag, the NetherHole:

Breasts, Boobs, Tits, Mammaries, HalsinHonkers: (A lot of cishet type language at the top so warning there too)

If you have any other links, silly words, or fun ideas, please do drop them in the comments!

The collection will remain open to add items until 2nd April, but try to get submissions in by 31st March and I'll make all entries visible on April Fools Day (1st April) for a little fandom fun~

[saebaragi]

read a smut so bad after gym last night I literally cried. 10/10, would recommend

[intermundia]

this is the single worst way i've ever read to describe an erection, frank herbert

[lovelyghst]

simon’s not a virgin by any means, but the first time he sinks his thick cock into your tight, sweet little cunt, he absolutely loses it.

the sugary tone in which you gave him permission to fuck you after he asked, begged you so nicely, like he was even deserving of it.

how he has to bite down on the rugged knuckle of his fist when he presses the head of his cock to your soaked cunny, failing to stifle down his groans but already too fucked-out to care whatsoever once he bottoms out (or at least as much of his cock he’s able to fit in).

the way his name spills from your puffy lips when he finally starts to move, just barely an inch in and out with each ‘thrust’ because you’re just so fucking warm and welcoming and he doesn’t want to separate from you for even a split moment.

how your fingertips lightly graze between the divots of his flexed, pronounced abs, nails raking over his skin with a softness no one has ever shown him. he’s turning greedy for you; needs more and more.

you turn dumb in a matter of seconds. so dumb, in fact, you haven’t even noticed he finished inside you the instant his cock was fully sheathed within your tummy, and how he’s already coaxing out his second load to join the first one fucked deep into your womb.

and you can’t even blame him, considering he was fucked utterly stupid from the moment he set eyes on you :(

[velvetcrimsonkisses]

Dadbod!Nanami...

Hear me out... Once you're married, all settled down and he's not a sorcerer anymore and he's at peace. He gains a few extra pounds, just because he's been baking so much and eating good food.

And you're not complaining, the extra weight feels so nice when he's on top of you, fucking into you slowly. You grab onto his thick biceps, wrapping your legs around his torso as he bullies his cock into you. And you can almost swear his cock feels bigger, thicker since he gained the weight.

So much so that tears trickle down your face from the added girth. And Nanami like the man he is takes notice.

"Feel good? Why are you crying, honey?" an expression of slight worry on his gorgeous face. But his cock has you speechless and the way you clench around him tells him just that. And he smirks as he feels you go dumb because of his cock.

"So... so fucking good...," is all you manage to say, as you pray to whatever God there is, for your husband to keep the dad bod.

[my-favourite-zhent]

I hate to say folks but it's that time again. Round Rugan is once again upon us. The Zhentil Keep Learning Library is growing at an alarming rate.

This round's players are:

@theycallmeratt @grossestjay @littleplasticrat @lizziemajestic

@beesht @winged-monkey @dustdeepsea @graysparrowao3 and myself

Screenshots are my fault with creative input from the authors and @thisaccountisagainstmywill

The next issue in the Round Rugan saga: Manage Like a Maestro: Team Building for Difficult Crew

What they saw would scar them forever:

[holeforzenin]

You’re sitting at the kitchen table, scrolling through your laptop, hoodie sleeves pushed up and a spoon dangling out of a half-eaten yogurt cup. It’s very peaceful in the apartment except for the hum of the fridge and the occasional click of your keyboard. Toji’s across the room rummaging through cabinets like he’s on some mission, muttering something under his breath about the coffee being too damn weak.

And then out of nowhere, he’s standing behind you.

You don’t hear him move until a hand drops onto your head. Not rough, but heavy— warm, calloused fingers sliding through your hair like it’s the most ordinary thing in the world. No warning. No explanation. Just… there.

You freeze, your shoulders tensing slightly at the feeling, eyes widened as you slowly look up at him. He’s not even looking at you. Still focused on the cabinets like he’s multitasking. Like this random act of affection is just another thing on his to-do list.

“Toji?” you whisper, confusion evident in your tone.

“Hm?” he hums, dragging his hand down and brushing some stray hairs behind your ear.

“What’re you doing?”

“Petting you,” he says boringly, flat like it’s obvious. “You’re soft. Calms me down”.

Your mind blanks entirely. When his eyes finally drop to meet yours, they catch the faint flush coloring your ears and he just smirks, rubbing his palm a little slower over your head now— ruffling your hair like you’re some nervous stray he’s trying to tame.

“You’re weird,” you mumble, trying to hide being flustered.

He shrugs. “Takes one to live with one.” And then he walks off like nothing happened, leaving you sitting there, confused and yogurt spoon still in hand and he didn't even get his damn coffee.

[goaskangel]

perv!toji and his sweet virgin gf yayaya

toji wouldn’t necessarily call himself a cherry chaser but when he laid his eyes on you, he knew he just had to have you. you’re just so much softer and gentle and sweeter than he could ever be, he craved to feel your soft lips on his scarred skin and smell the aroma of your perfumes and scented lotions. 

and you thought it was just so cool, that a big guy like toji would wanna be with somebody like you. you should’ve at least expected it sooner, that he would want something from you. you can’t help yourself! you’re just too nervous, too shy to give yourself to a man, even if he was the most handsome and sexiest guy you’d ever met. he’s awfully touchy and lovey and part of you just feels bad. you’re too unsure of dressing in front of him, too diffident to keep a kiss going, but you really wanted to make sure he felt good.

but toji loves you, so he sticks around. tells you about all the other ways you could make him feel so good.

he lays you down comfortably on his bed as he unbuckles his belt beside you.

“mmm, i don’t know, toji. never done this before.”

giving you a reassuring grin and nod while retrieving your hand in his bigger palm, “don’t gotta do anything, baby. don’t know why you’re so worried, i’ll handle everything. jus’ sit there all pretty for me.” he snaps his boxers off just below the pudge of his cock, and god he’s big. he takes your hesitant hand and manipulates it around. you whine gently when your fingertips squish up against a vein, he swears under his breath as he wraps his hand around your pliable one. slowly at first, he starts to stroke himself with your palm. he’s raging hard and he can tell if he doesn’t concentrate on not coming immediately on your inexperienced hand, he’ll shoot. and he can’t let this opportunity go to waste so quickly. 

“you’re so hard…” you’re practically hypnotized, the way big drops of pre pumps out of his leaky cockhead and coats his foreskin and length in a shiny layer makes your mouth water. “god, i’m always this way around you, doll. make me feel like–like a teenager again.” his breath hitches when he feels you trying to go faster, allowing it.

“mhm, that’s good.” he grips your hand tighter and bucks impatiently into your palm, your hand now slippery and gooey with his sticky pre. “thinking about that tight cunt you’re too shy about. you wondering what i’d feel like inside you? inside that tight, virgin pussy?”

“toji, stop it.” you pout at his words, they are working considering how tight you have your thighs clamped. you always wonder about it. especially now, seeing his thick cock just weeping in front of you. how he’d prep you up and talk about how he’s been waiting for this day, pushing his chubby tip through the tight ring of your heat. you can’t take your eyes away from how fucking big he is. your fingers start to cramp when he races them against himself, coming incredibly hard into the air onto your wrist. big, heavy load just sitting on your knuckles and his rough jeans. next time he won’t let that go to waste!

masterlist

[calebsdraft]

“shh, baby, i know, i know,” caleb cooed as you rubbed your cheek against his chest, sniffing. god, you felt like you were in hell. what did you do to deserve this? you were good. probably. sorta. still, you didn’t deserve this massive headache.

you let out another little cough and you felt tears well up in your eyes. this is the second time you were sick. this time, it was worse. way worse. your throat hurt, your legs cramped, you had the worst headache, not to mention your nose is runny. you had already bawled into his chest at your sickness. you couldn’t do it again.

but oh, no, caleb already knew that you were about to cry. “oh, no, don’t cry. doll, don’t cry.” his words soothed you until another wave of your killer headache kicked. “caleb… i’m dying. i’m in hell,” you whined, words muffed by the soft fabric of his shirt.

you felt the deep rumble of his chest whenever he chuckled and his large hand came up to caress your hair. you couldn’t go to work—not yesterday, not today, and not tomorrow, either. you let out a groan thinking about it. good thing caleb was there. “want me to make your favorite food? i’ll add a bit of candy, yeah? also some medicine.”

you looked up at him once his words went through your head and you felt your eyes getting teary again. “you’re the best boyfriend ever, what the fuck?” you sniffed and dug your face into his chest again. he couldn’t help but to let out a bark of laughter, that same old smile on his face.

“alright, pips. you wanna go help me make the food?”

“yeah!”

[kkusuka]

i would love to be john price's (141's) little bird.

(afab reader, you're lowkey a housewife, g/n pronouns, this was also a lot longer than i meant it to be-1.2k words- and i also wrote it entirely in class)

part 2

just the cute little thing he comes home to after long missions; ready to give him anything he needs to fully enjoy his time at home. barefoot and wide-eyed waiting for your bear of a husband to return from his long hard mission, keeping him fed and fucked as much as he needs. and he just loves you so much-- so much that he needs to show everyone how good you are for him.

it's not like he sets out to rub it in, but when his sergeant mentions not having anyone waiting for him at home-- john just can’t help but invite him over, you always talk about how much you love taking care of him, adding another man shouldn't be a problem! and what kind of captain would he be if he didn't take care of his subordinates?

and you aren't complaining! you love when john lets you see into his job! and gaz is just so sweet, saying please and thank you, offering to help clean the dishes, and politely refusing any leftovers even when you all know he has no food to go back to. so, you just have to keep inviting him over, night after night. and he's so good at conversations, even when he and your husband talk with all their military jargon, he makes sure you understand all of it; you just want to keep him in your house forever! so you kind of do…

you can't imagine making him go all the way home to his cold and dark apartment, it's so far and you know he's tired from his month of constant action-- so suddenly kyle has a bedroom set up right next to yours (close enough to hear how john thanks you for being so good to his sergeant, and just maybe a hand goes down below his waistband) a fully stocked bathroom and a place to put his shoes when you all come back your occasion dinners out. (they're dates, you don't think it but they do)

but kyle is not a man so stay silent about his blessings. you're too nice, too pretty to not tell soap about-- and trust john isn't going to complain, and he knows that you won’t either. 'the best roast i think i've ever had' and 'knows exactly how to make a man feel at home' and soap is not one to stray from his desires.

so you end up with your boys, and a bubbling scotsman in your dinning room with no warning. and you're upset, no one told you that you had to make more food and now there isn't enough to give everyone your usual heaping portion- and there is no way you're letting anyone go hungry in your home!

so you end up bouncing around the kitchen, trying to whip something up before the main course finishes in the oven and who but soap offers to help you out! he's got a hand on you at all times (two on your waist when you're chopping the onion, he just wouldn't know what to do with himself if you got hurt making him dinner. so he has to hold you steady, he has to run his hands over your hips keep you stabilized-- don't think too much into it, just stay focused on chopping bonnie)

and soap knows that he can talk for hours, but he can't help it when your eyes light up when he mentions his childhood in scotland and his missions around the world. and your small flinch and frown when he talks about getting hurt. their lass just can't help but worry about them. he just can't stay away from his captains sweet bird-- not when you send him off with a steaming pile of leftovers and a tight hug (pressed against him as hard as you can because you don’t want him to go)

johnny, a man to brag, never shuts up about how it took kyle three months to get a room but it only took him two. (sometimes when he comes back from the bathroom in the morning he can see into your room as you're getting ready. and he doesn't mean to do it but your panties are his favorite shade of blue and they look so amazing on you-- he wants to see them up close so bad.)

and so he tells ghost of all his troubles- unasked and randomly the next time they got sent out. and does ghost really care about johnny's playground crush on their captains bird? yes. how had he been left the only one not getting home cooked meals after being sent out? is he going to say anything about it?

not a chance.

so it takes a little while before the final place at your dinner table to be filled. but after a particularly grueling mission (and already wishing to come over), ghost is finally convinced he belongs with the rest of his team.

and you've never been happier to make extra food; you've been hearing for months about the illusive fourth man of your husband's battalion but having him stand in your kitchen with a cute little store bought dessert was certainly worth the wait. ( 'Ah didnae ken ye liked pink that much, lt' 'it was all they 'ad, can't show up empty 'anded, johnny')

and is he a little awkward and standoffish, of course-- years of military pressure will do that to a man!

and simon is just too sweet, even if he doesn't know it. he's pulling your chair out for you, and running out in the rain to collect the mail that you'd forgotten all about. he even lets you drag him to the grocery store during your weekly trips. (it's not dragging, he'd follow you into the pits of hell if you'd asked him too so the grocery store is really not a big deal.)

everything is just so perfect when all of your the boys are all in the house together!

and suddenly everything in life makes sense again. that plate that you can never reach on the highest shelf in the kitchen, a body is pressed against you as simon leans over you to grab it leaving you with a squeeze to your hip and red face. the gossip that your husband just never understood in the way he should is studently being told to kyle over coffee every morning as your other boys roll out of bed. the soap opera that you rope johnny into watching every thursday night becomes facemasks and wine time.

and john just loves it. he just loves you so much; loves the way you smile at kyles flirting, loves how you cuddle up to johnny on the couch, loves how you let simon hold you so close when you make his tea in the morning, and he just loves teasing you about it. (teasing? yes. making you face the fact that you want your husbands men to run a train on you like a whore. also yes.)

i wanna keep going but i have to let it end at some point