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Love In Stasis - Chapter 4

Hey everyone, the story wasn't getting quite the amount of feedback or traction just on my Patreon, so I'm gonna be releasing at least a few more free chapters here. The Patreon version is currently up to Chapter 16, which is the chapter that really puts the sapphic into this sapphic romance mystery. So, if you're enjoying this story, please consider supporting over there, and I'd love to hear your thoughts and what you think about this story!

Patreon : Love in Stasis Chapter 1 :

Love in Stasis Chapter 2 :

Love in Stasis Chapter 3 : The Bureau Current Demo

4:23am - Police Station

Luz could be seen through the one way glass window from the other side of the interrogation room. Two men were standing there, arms crossed. One of them was a taller, dark-skinned, muscular man with a goatee and connected mustache. The other was an older white man, a little shorter than his six-foot-two counterpart, with a graying beard. The taller man had a perturbed look, while the other was more stern.

“It doesn’t look good, Andre,” the man with the gray beard said.

“Yeah, I know,” Andre sighed heavily through his nose, then turned his head towards his captain. “But she didn’t do this, Crane.”

Captain Crane looked back at him sympathetically, but still not losing that sternness he was known for. “It’s not about whether I believe that. It’s about whether you can prove that.” He looked back into the room where Luz was sitting. She brought a hand up to her face and rubbed her eyes, wiping a stray tear away from one of them. The image of her ex-girlfriend’s lifeless body on the ground was no doubt continuously flashing through her mind.

The detective furrowed his brow, “What happened to innocent until proven guilty?”

“That’s still applicable. Always will be.” Crane nudged his head towards Luz, “But if you can prove she’s innocent now, then we won’t have to keep her in our pool of suspects.”

Andre ran a hand down his goatee, then pointed towards Luz, obviously frustrated. His voice was calm in spite of that, “I’ve known Luz since she was a little girl. I’m tellin’ you, there’s no way she did this. It’s her job to search out crime that’s happening on that campus.”

“And it’s our job to consider all the possibilities, Andre. C’mon, you know that.” Captain Crane shook his head and sighed, “Look, I gave this one to you as a courtesy. Because I know you care about her. Just tell me right now if that was a mistake, because I’ll call someone else in here.”

There’s a pause as Andre turns to look into the interrogation room. He thinks about it, albeit briefly, then says, “No, I’ll handle it.”

“Good,” Crane said, opening the observation room door. “Then do your job, Detective Johnson. Keep me updated.” The police captain reluctantly looked towards the front of the station where the news reporters and cameras had gathered, before looking back. “I have a media frenzy to cull.”

A few more minutes go by, and at this point Luz is just sitting there, stuck in her own head. The cool metallic surface of the table is chilling against her skin as she leans her arms on it. At the very least, they gave her a clean set of clothes and let her wash her hands and face. Thanks to that, most of Mel’s blood was cleaned from her body, but she could still feel the weight of it. That viscous feeling on her palms still hadn’t gone away.

Her hands clenched as her face contorted into anguish and anger. What if she hadn’t spaced out? What if she hadn’t looked down at her phone? What if she had been just a minute sooner to the scene? She could’ve saved her. She could’ve been there, like she promised she always would be. Even after they broke up, she told Mel she’d always have her back. Well where the fuck was she this time?

Why couldn’t she just be thirty seconds faster?!

The door opened, making her look up, momentarily freeing her from the guilt-ridden thoughts. She wiped an arm across her face to wipe away the tears that began to fall. “Andre…”

The detective didn’t speak. At least not until the door behind him shut all the way. Then he let out a sigh and walked towards the table, staring down at her sympathetically. “Hey, kid.” He sat down on the edge of the table with a file in his hand, “How’re you holding up?”

Luz bit her lip, looked away and shook her head. The movement obviously meant to indicate ‘not well’.

Andre nodded, taking another deep breath and placing the folder down onto the table. “You okay enough to answer a couple of questions?”

Luz sniffed, giving a half-shrug, half-nod in return.

“Good, because Luz,” he paused, purposefully waiting for her to look at him. Which she did, slowly. “They have you as their lead suspect for this.”

Her eyes widened, and a look of rage came across her face. “What?!”

“Luz-”

“I’m the one that fucking called it in!” She slammed a fist down onto the table, “She used to be my fucking girlfriend!”

“And that, and your home life, is why they’re looking at you for this,” he replies calmly.

Luz scoffed in disbelief, “My home life?! No, you mean my dad!” She stood up and leaned forward, putting her hands flat on the table. “Y’know, when you guys would answer those calls of drunken disorderlies down at the bar, and you’d let him off with a warning or have him spend a couple nights in jail, who the fuck do you think was getting the worse end of it when he was allowed to go home, huh?” Her voice raised to a shout, “And then you wanna use that to pin this shit on me?! Are you fucking kidding me?!”

“Hey hey, kid-” Andre put up a hand, keeping an even tone and trying to de-escalate the tension. “-I’m not tryin’ to pin anything on you. Remember who the cop was that put your old man away in the first place.” He pointed to his chest, then let his hands rest in his lap. “The higher ups just care about making this all go away, but I’ll be damned if I let them-” he pointed to the door, “-pin anything on you, alright?”

She stared him down and tears began to well up in her eyes again. So many emotions could’ve been contributing to them. Anger, frustration, sadness; it was too difficult to pinpoint the exact cause. Detective Johnson continued, “So you can stand, or you can sit, but do us both a favor and simmer down a couple notches. Because you’re angry; I get it. I would be too. Only a handful of people in the entire world know what you’re going through right now, but I really need you to keep a calm head and help me get you through this, okay?”

A tense silence settled in the room. There was nothing more infuriating than knowing that the people out there wanted to use their failures to pin her for a crime she didn’t commit. The murder of her friend. But ultimately, that wasn’t on Andre. If there was one person in this building she did trust, it was him. He was like the father figure she never had growing up, and probably the main reason she’s practicing criminal justice in the first place.

So she let her legs give out and sat back in the chair, “Alright.”

“Good,” Andre leaned back to a more neutral position and continued, “So, tell me what happened. Where were you from two-thirty to three-fifteen this morning?”

Luz’s voice lost all defiance. All fight. Mostly because she felt secure enough with Andre to actually drop it. “I’ve been working all night. Patrolling around campus. At two-forty-five I stopped by Ellie’s Diner to grab a coffee. Then I took the car and went to sit in the Grayson Library parking lot until my break was over. I noticed someone on the green, but they took off as soon as I shut the car door.” She balled her hands into fists, “I should’ve gone after them.”

“You couldn’t have known, Luz.” Another pause enveloped the interrogation room before Andre continued. “Did you get a look at them?”

Luz shook her head, “No. Anywhere from five-foot-six to five-foot-ten. Wearing a baseball cap or something. I couldn’t see’em. It was too dark.” She started to bounce her leg, trying to hold it together. “After that I went to investigate where they’d been. And that’s when I found-” she stopped herself and grit her teeth. If she didn’t, she’d have broken down yet again. “I, uh… c-called it in after that. After I…” Her bottom lip quivered, “After I found her…”

“Okay, hey-” Andre reached out his hand and leaned forward, putting it on her shoulder. “This is good, kid. You did good.”

She looked up at him, a single tear running down one of her cheeks, and waited for him to continue.

“The fact that you were in your patrol car means they’ll be able to track the GPS back to everywhere you went tonight and know how long you were there for. They scoured the scene of the crime, searched your clothes, and searched your car. They didn’t find a murder weapon. Since you didn’t have it on you, and you didn’t have time to dispose of it in an area away from the immediate crime scene, there’s no way you could’ve done this.” He looked her in the eyes to make sure she understood what he’s saying, “You hear me? You’ll be outta here in a couple hours.”

Luz nodded, then looked down at the table.

“That bein’ said,” Detective Johnson said, “I do need you to sit tight for a couple of hours while we get the data from your work, okay? I’ll drive you back to your dorm room after we sort it all out.” He pats her shoulder a couple of times. “Hang in there kid.” Then, he stands up and begins walking to the door.

“Hey, um, A-Andre…” Luz’s voice nearly gets caught in her throat, but it’s enough to make Andre turn around as he’s grabbing the handle to leave. “I, um,” she taps her fingers on the table. The words are difficult to push through due to the enormous amounts of bottled up emotions. But the grief is just too much. She was in front of someone she trusted and respected, and she just couldn’t keep holding it in any longer. “I don’t- I don’t know… what to do…”

Andre’s shoulders visibly sulk as he sees the girl he’s tried so hard to protect lose all sense of innocence she had left. It wasn’t enough being knocked around at home, the world had to go and put this on her too. Not just the weight of a loss, but the guilt that came with it, too. It’s something he’d asked himself a number of times on the job.

What if I was just a little faster?

Luz closed her eyes and tears began spilling out in full force. She kept looking down and shook her head, her hair swaying from side to side as she spoke through strained cries. “I don’t know what to do…”

It was almost enough to bring Andre to tears too. “Kid…” His voice was gentle and cautionary. He walked over towards her, and she immediately got up and turned to hug him. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him when she did, though. She felt weak, and for some reason ashamed.

He hugged her back, putting a hand behind her head and letting her cry on his shoulder. “It’s not your fault.” He rubbed her back comfortingly, “It’s not your fault, Luz.”

11:25am - Madeline’s Dorm Room

As Madeline opened her eyes, she saw the familiar, yet blurry, walls and furniture of her dorm room. As her sight started to return to normal, she groaned and began sitting up.

“Hey, she’s awake.” The deeper voice said.

“Oh, thank god.” A higher pitched voice said.

“Where-?” Madeline began to speak, but her mouth felt extremely dry. She coughed and saw a figure come into view.

“Easy there, Mads. Take it easy. Here,” Darrel handed her a cup of water he had kept on the desk at the foot of the bed. He tilted it up to her lips, letting her take a couple of sips before pulling it away.

“Maddie?” Angie, one of the R.A.'s, was standing behind him, “How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts.” The exhausted woman managed to prop herself up against the headboard, groaning as she answered the question, slowly reaching up to place the palm of her hand on her temple. She looked at both of them, who each had extremely concerned expressions on their faces. “What happened?”

Darrel looked away for a second and then stepped back, allowing Angie to come forward and take her hand. “Maddie, sweetie,” she gave it a gentle squeeze, “you were drugged at the bar last night.”

Her eyes went wide, and she put a hand over her mouth. Fear immediately came over her and she had assumed the absolute worst. Before that fear had time to fully set in, however, Angie leaned forward and continued. “Hey, that’s all that happened, okay? Darrel came along and caught you before it could fully take effect.”

She looked over at the physical trainer, still frightened, but less so now. She seemed more horrified that a guy was in the room while this conversation was happening. It was humiliating, especially in front of a man. She couldn’t even put into words why. It just made her feel a little more uncomfortable. That, in turn, made her feel guilty, because from what she was just told, he’s the one that got her to safety in the first place.

Thing is, Darrel also seemed uncomfortable in the situation. He was looking away, and pretending as if he wasn’t hearing any of their conversation. Mainly to try and help Maddie feel more comfortable. “After the paramedics left, we both stayed here for the night to keep an eye on you.”

Madeline held up a hand, looking confused. “Woah woah, wait- paramedics?”

“Um, yeah,” Angie looked back at Darrel, who shared her look of concern, then turned back. “The paramedics got here shortly after you guys got back to the dorm. They woke you up as much as they could and had you take a couple tests.”

Maddie shook her head and her breathing started to speed up, “I don’t- I don’t remember. Last thing I remember was being at the bar.” She looked under the sheets, in a paranoia that everything wouldn’t be alright, then swiveled her head from left to right to look around the room. “W-what did they do? I- I don’t-”

Darrel came over and placed a hand on her shoulder, speaking softly. “Maddie. Maddie, it's okay. I promise, nothing happened. You weren’t assaulted or anything; I wasn’t ‘bout to let you stay at that place and risk letting that happen. When the EMT’s came in, I left the room for a bit-” he made sure to specify that part, “-then they took a urine sample, and a blood sample. They checked your eyes and, well, did other shit to make sure you were safe to stay here and sleep it off. We should get notified about what was used in a couple of weeks or so, they said.”

Madeline stared at him, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. “I just wanted to have a good time.” Her bottom lip quivered and she crossed her arms over her chest, gripping near her shoulders.

Darrel wasn’t sure what to do at this point. He looked over to Angie, who was equally as concerned. “Do you,” he paused, drawing out the end of the last word a little, “want me to call Mel?”

All Madeline did was nod her head yes while she quietly cried to herself for a bit.

He got up and reached over to her phone, but just as he opened the contacts and started typing in Melody’s name, there were a few hard knocks on the door. He turned his head to look at Maddie, seeing Angie sitting with her now and making sure she was being taken care of. So, he figured it was alright to answer the door first.

He put the phone down on the desk and went to answer it. When he peered into the hallway and saw who it was, there was an immediate sense of dread. Not because of the aforementioned who, but because of how rough she looked, “Luz?”

She looked awful. She hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours. She’d barely had anything to eat since dinner time the previous night. Not to mention her eyes were extremely bloodshot from all of the crying she’d been doing the past eight or so hours.

Luz looked just as surprised to see Darrel opening the door as he was to see her on the other side of it. A bubbling sense of jealousy built inside her, but was luckily numbed by the news she came here to give Madeline. Still, the confusion was prominent in her tone, “Darrel? The hell are you doing here?”

He looked back into the room and took a deep breath, before looking back at Luz. “Better question is, what happened to you?” He stepped out into the hall, letting the door close most of the way behind him. “You didn’t sleep last night or somethin’?”

She looked off to the side and cleared her throat, “No.” Luz paused, controlling the urge to just push her way into the dorm room. “You mind giving us some time alone? I have something I need to talk to Maddie about.” She was dreading it, but it still had to be done.

Darrel shook his head, “Look, Luz, I don’t know what you got goin’ on, but it’s not really a good time right now.” He side-eyed the door before returning his gaze.

Luz furrowed her brow in frustration, “Look, I don’t fuckin’ care what you two had goin’ on last night, you can give it a rest long enough for me to talk with her, alright?”

Darrel glared down at her, “You best tone down the venom, homegirl. I don’t appreciate the third degree-”

The woman attempted to just push her way past him, “I don’t have time for this shit. Just-”

“Luz-” Darrel put a hand on her shoulder and pushed against her, which she shrugged off angrily and prepared to push back in retaliation.

“Hey- don’t fuckin’ touch me man!”

“Maddie was drugged last night.” The words left his mouth sternly, but still in almost a whisper.

She stopped in her tracks and her eyes went wide, “What did you just say?”

Darrel let out a heavy breath, “Maddie was at a bar last night and I saw her start to, y’know-” he held his hand flat, tilting it back and forth. “So I walked over to see if she was alright.” His eyes drifted down, “She wasn’t.”

Luz’s head was spinning with a million different thoughts. A thousand different emotions. Did someone take advantage of her? Was she awake now? Did she get help? Who slipped her that drink? Who was she going to go beat the shit out of and probably get expelled over? Did Maddie know? Should she even tell her right now if she doesn’t?

She was flexing her arm and clenching her fist so hard out of anger that her hands were shaking. Her throat was strained and she was actively holding back the need to throw a fist at the wall as hard as she could. Depending on the answer she got to this next question would be the answer to whether or not she followed through with that impulse.

“Did they-” she grit her teeth, “Y’know-”

Darrel held out his hands and quickly answered, seeing where her head was at, “No- fuck no. I got there before anyone could lay a fuckin’ hand on her.”

Both of them released a sigh as a vast majority of the tension simmered down to a palatable amount. “Trust me, I was askin’ myself the same question when I first saw her. I was ready to knock someone on their ass, too. But no, I took her here as soon as I knew what happened, and Angie and I have been with her all night since then.”

Luz nearly started crying again right then and there, only out of relief this time. “God-” she put a hand up to her forehead and took a deep breath. Then she took a step forward and pulled Darrel into a tight hug. “Thank you, man. I mean it. Thank you so much.”

From this point, Darrel is taken completely off guard. He’s never seen Luz like this in his two years of knowing her and hanging out with her. She’s always either acting tough, or joking around, or brooding. But he’s never seen her emotional like this. He cautiously wrapped an arm behind her in response.

“Yeah, sure, no problem.” There was a pause between the two where they just held the hug for a bit before Luz pulled away and took a step back. “Luz, are-” he lowered his voice a little more, “are you alright?”

She shook her head, having to take a deep breath before responding in order to hold it together. “No. I know it’s not a good time, but I still need to talk to her.” She looked him in the eyes, her gaze pressing and her tone was desperate, “Please.”

The door opened behind him and both he and Luz looked to see Angie’s head sticking out. “Darrel, what’s going-” then she saw Luz and nodded as a form of greeting, “Luz, hi. Sorry, Maddie’s not taking any visitors right now. I can give her a message if you-”

“Mel’s dead.” Luz interrupted, quietly. The words left her throat like she had to push them out.

Both Angie and Darrel’s faces dropped. Their eyes went wide in disbelief, and Darrel was the first one to speak up. “What the fuck do you mean she’s dead?” He looked back to Angie, who had a hand up covering her mouth and the beginnings of tears started to form.

Luz closed her eyes and talked through clenched teeth, trying to get through a quick explanation. “I found her body on patrol last night on the green outside the library.” She looked back up at Darrel with the same pleading expression, “Please, man, I need to be the one to tell her. Alright- look she’s my friend, and she was Mel’s best friend, and Mel was my-” She choked on the words, and wasn’t able to get the rest of them out without breaking, which she couldn’t allow herself to do out here in the hallway.

A tear rolled down Angie’s cheek and quietly spoke through her hand, “This can’t be happening.”

“Please, Darrel.” Luz’s voice snapped him out of his disbelief, “Maddie can’t learn about this from the news, or some email the school sends out. It’s gotta be from me.” She pauses again, letting the words sink in. Letting the realization of what hearing it by a third party like that might do to her. But Luz was so hellbent on being the one to tell her because, in a way, it was one of the last things that she could do for Melody. To be there for her best friend on probably the worst day of her life. “Please.”

Darrel stares at her for a moment, then subtly nods his head, his gaze much more mournful than it previously was, “Alright. We’ll get outta here. C’mon, Ange.”

Angie wasted no time fast-walking out the door and down the hall. The tears that had already escaped were only the first of many. One could only imagine that an R.A. felt somewhat responsible for the students in their building. In a way, she might have felt like she failed Melody too.

Darrel took a couple steps out of the room and held the door for Luz, who put a hand on it to stop it from closing and began walking forward. “And Luz,” Darrel said, causing her to stop where she was and look back at him, “I’m so fuckin’ sorry for your loss. If you need anything,” he paused again, letting his sentence trail off. He and Luz weren’t the touchy feely kind of people. They didn’t show their emotions on their sleeve. So when he simply left it at that, all she had to do was look at his face and she knew what he meant.

“Thanks. I will.”

Darrel nodded to her and walked down the hallway to try and catch up with Angie to make sure she was alright.

Which left Luz standing there, holding the door to the dorm room open. She turned her head to see what little of the inside she could from this angle, trying to gather enough willpower to take those first steps in. With a deep breath, she gathered the strength to move that first foot and steeled herself for one of the toughest conversations of her life.

As she heard the door close, Madeline looked up and saw who it was. Her eyes widened a bit and she instinctively pulled the covers up towards herself a little more, “Luz?” For some reason, she was the last person Maddie wanted to see right now. Because of the shame. The humiliation. Because she felt so unbelievably stupid for letting something like this happen in the first place. None of these thoughts were warranted, and logically, it wasn’t her fault at all. But if logic had a say in trauma responses, no one would need therapists.

She couldn’t figure out why she felt this way with Luz though. After all, she was-

“Hey, Maddie.” Luz spoke softly, interrupting her train of thought and sitting on the side of the bed, close to her. “Heard you had a rough night.” Madeline’s head sank and her expression fell. “How are you holding up?”

Maddie shrugged, “Dunno. I feel-” she had to stop to think of what to say, “Stupid, I guess.”

Luz immediately scooched a little closer and put a hand on one of her legs that was currently covered by the blanket. “Hey, stop that. It’s not your fault some asshole decided to slip something into your drink.”

“Yeah, but I should’ve been more-”

“Maddie,” Luz rubbed her leg, interrupting her thought process before she could finish, “it’s not your fault. Don’t victim blame yourself, okay? All you did was go out to have a good time. This isn’t on you.”

Madeline looked up at Luz for the first time since she sat on the bed. She didn’t know if forgiveness towards herself would come anytime soon, but having someone here to reassure her and remind her not to blame herself was a step in the right direction.

When Maddie did look up, though, she saw what kind of state Luz was in. “Luz,” she leaned forward a bit, “you look like hell. What happened?”

Luz looked down and attempted to keep it together. Because Madeline would need her to. She needed to be the strong one out of the two of them, at least for right now.

“Luz?” Madeline asked softly, moving one of her hands just a little closer to Luz’s, but not so much that they were touching.

“Mads, I um,” she cleared her throat again and looked Maddie in the eye. The concern was already palpable, “Melody. She’s-” Luz’s eyes became glassy and she found it more difficult to speak. “She’s dead, Mads.”

Madeline just stared for a couple of seconds.

She blinked, and a small smile came across her lips as she tried to reassure her friend. “Luz, I was just with her last night. Melody’s fine.”

But the longer Luz continued to silently stare at her, the more unsure Madeline got. The silence was all that filled the room. From the look on the taller woman’s face, Madeline knew Luz was sure of what she said. And so her own expression became more irritated, and she retracted her hand. “Luz, you’re wrong.”

Another couple seconds of silence.

Luz shook her head.

“Or you’re lying. You’re wrong or you’re lying, Luz, and I really don’t fucking appreciate it.” Madeline nudged her head towards the desk, “Go grab my phone. I’ll call her right now. Come on, go get it.”

“Mads,” Luz talked softly, and tears were dangerously close to escaping at this point. “I found her body on the green this morning.”

“No-” Maddie held up a pointer finger. Tears began to form in her own eyes now as her breath sped up. “No, Luz-”

“I ran over but I was too late. I couldn’t help her-”

“No! You’re lying!” Madeline pushed forward in an attempt to shove Luz away. To shove the harsh, bitter reality that was being presented to her away.

Luz’s voice broke a little and a single tear dropped down her cheek. “I didn’t want you to find out through social media or the news-” she shook her head again, almost in a pleading gesture. Pleading for her friend to forgive her for even having to be the one to tell her this in the first place. “Mads I’m so sorry-”

Madeline threw a hand forward as she screamed at the top of her lungs with tears rushing down her face. “NO!” The first one managed to hit Luz in the side of the face, which surprised the woman. But she quickly recovered and was able to restrain Madeline’s wrists by her sides, pulling the distraught woman closer towards herself.

Maddie began getting dizzy again. The hysteria was in full effect, and the fact that she wasn’t fully rested from just being drugged at the bar last night only made things worse. “You’re lying!” She screamed out again, then collapsed forward into Luz’s shoulder.

After a couple of seconds, with Maddie uncontrollably crying into her, Luz swiftly released her wrists and wrapped her arms around her, letting tears of her own begin to fall. One of her hands rested on Madeline’s back, and the other on the back of her head. Luz only felt her emotions take an even bigger nose-dive when she could feel Maddie noticeably shaking. The news wasn’t just catastrophic; it had sent her into a form of shock. It was one of the worst pains Madeline had ever felt, and would ever feel, in her lifetime.

“MEL!” She sobbed, drawing out her best friend’s name as some sort of plea or bargain to try and get her back. “No, Mel!” Maddie continued shouting similar things into Luz’s shoulder in between her heart-wrenching sobs.

Luz rubbed the back of Maddie’s head, trying to comfort her as much as she could. She swallowed the lump in her throat and sniffed, trying and succeeding to talk clearly past her own tears. “I’m so sorry Mads. I promise you, I’m gonna find out who did this. I’m gonna take care of you.” She began rocking subtly left and right, “I promise.”

At that moment, with both of them so stricken by grief, neither of them really knew exactly what those words meant. They would have time later to reflect on them, but for the time being, they both needed each other to mourn. Nothing would ever be the same again.

Entire worlds have crumbled beneath the weight of feelings like this. Nothing made sense anymore. Everything that was once right in the world seemed to be a never-ending spiral of horrid, suffocating truths. A downward cascade of events that, when put together, made a reality that no sane person could ever be content with living in. The only way anyone could get through it all… was together.

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when-life-gives-you-lemons-if · 2 days ago

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Debt of Deception

Demo:

https://cogdemos.ink/play/dianeh/debt-of-deception

Genre: Gritty crime/action thriller/slice-of-life.

💰play as a stay-at-home parent that gets entangled in a life of crime!

💰Inspired by the TV show Good Girls, and a little bit of Breaking Bad.

Summary: Life used to be about toddler tantrums and sleepless nights. Now, it’s about dodging bullets and prison bars—thanks to your charming spouse.

It all started when you were almost finished preparing dinner, as you did every night, when your spouse stumbled through the door, bloody and bruised—with a revelation that would shatter your world. Their hidden gambling addiction has racked up a staggering debt, but that’s not even the worst part. They owe half a million dollars to MC-14, one of the most ruthless gangs in the city. You have 8 months to gather the money, or your family will pay the ultimate price.

Thrown into a deadly game you never asked to play, you’re forced to make impossible choices to survive. Can you protect your family? Can your marriage survive this betrayal? Do you even want it to? Will you come out of this situation as the person you always thought you were, or will this dark world you’ve been thrust into reveal who you really are?

💰Customize your character; their name, gender, sexuality, physical appearance, personality, background, choose how birth affected your character mentally and physically, IF they gave birth. and so much more. Customization matters!

💰Choose your character's age; you can be in your early 20s or 30s. Were you a teen parent or not?

💰 Customize your 5 year old child.

💰Determine who you were before you became a parent, how you feel about parenthood and suburban life in general.

💰Do jobs for a criminal organization in order to pay back your spouse's debt, whether you succeed or fail is on you.

💰Determine what kind of relationship you have with your spouse and child.

💰You may have to be a stay-at-home parent but you can choose why you decided to stay home.

💰Get a divorce or try to fix your marriage? It's your choice.

💰Try to manage a double life.

💰Drama, chaos, and more drama.

💰Determine how you feel about the life of crime.

💰Determine what kind of parent you are.

💰Try to revive your broken marriage with your spouse or possibly romance the ruthless leader of MC-14. Maybe even get yourself involved in a messy love triangle….oof, or have some hookups along the way.

💰Try to manage your expenses, pay your bills on time, and for the love of god, don't lose the house!

💰Alaric/Alara Coleman- The Spouse 💍

Age: 21 or 30 (Depends on the MC’s age).

Occupation: A software engineer at Cordovian Technologies. If you choose the teen parent route, the story will delve into how A secured this position at a young age and manages to support a family of three on a single income.

Description:

The love of your life, your best friend, the one person you always felt you could trust without question. There was never a secret between you two… or so you thought. You and A were high school sweethearts, and from the moment you met, you felt something inexplicably special. Smart, funny, goofy, and effortlessly charming, A had a way of making everyone feel at ease, their infectious laughter always filling the room. The A you knew was capable and reliable—loyal to a fault, always showing up when needed. They never broke a promise, and their word was unshakeable. It seemed like A could do no wrong—excelling in every area, from academics to extracurriculars. They were the golden child, the kind of person everyone admired. Yet, in the quiet moments, you couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe no one, not even A, could truly be that perfect… Maybe you were right.

Tropes: High School sweethearts, golden retriever, soulmates.

Red Flags : Deceptive, prideful, egotistical, self-destructive.

Green Flags: Protective, intelligent, self-sacrificing.

Physical Description:

Male A: A stands at 5’9” with a lean, subtly athletic build. His short, wavy dark blonde hair is styled in a textured crop, he has light blue eyes and light freckles that dot only his face. He has fair skin , and his style leans toward a sporty, preppy aesthetic.

Female A: A stands at 5’6” with a lean, subtly athletic build. Her shoulder length, wavy dark blonde hair is styled in beach waves, complementing her sharp blue eyes and light freckles that dot only her face. Her fair skin has a natural, youthful tone, and her style leans toward a preppy aesthetic.

💰Victor/Victoria Delgado- The Leader 💀

Age: 35.

Occupation: Leader of the MC-14 gang.

Description:

V Delgado is a gang leader who embodies cold ruthlessness. From birth, they were immersed in a world of crime, violence, and destruction, which forged them into the stoic, calculating figure they are today. With an enigmatic allure and an icy demeanor, V is a master of control—of others and of themselves. Words are unnecessary to them; actions speak louder, and they lead with unflinching efficiency. Brutality is second nature, and they waste no time or energy on hesitation. Their rise to power came through a mix of cunning and raw force, and they will go to any lengths to maintain their dominance. V isn’t a person to be admired, but something about their very presence pulls at you. They are a living, breathing reminder that not all paths to power are clean—and yet, you can’t help but wonder if, maybe, you could get lost in their darkness.

Tropes: Corruption, enemies to lovers, mama I'm in love with a criminal, dark romance, forbidden.

Red Flags: Possessive, controlling, domineering, dangerous, emotionally detached, unpredictable.

Green Flags: They….like puppies, jk. Determined, strong, resilient, very protective and loyal to those who earn their trust and loyalty (which is very few).

Physical Description:

Male V: Standing at a commanding 6’4”, V Delgado carries a powerful, muscular build. He has an olive skin tone. His short, straight dark brown hair is kept in a no-nonsense buzz cut, matching the sharp intensity of his hazel eyes—eyes that hold a calculating, unnerving depth. A prominent scar runs from the corner of his mouth, slashing upward to his ear. His right arm is covered in a detailed sleeve tattoo of a serpent. V’s wardrobe leans toward practicality—subdued, simple outfits that blend into the background. His nice clothes, always at risk of becoming bloodied or torn, are too inconvenient for him to care about; function always comes before appearance.

Female V:Standing at a commanding 5’11”, V Delgado carries an athletic, hourglass build.She has an olive skin tone. Her waist length, straight dark brown hair is kept in a loose style, her hazel eyes hold a calculating, unnerving depth. A prominent scar runs from the corner of her mouth, slashing upward to her ear, a constant reminder of past conflicts. Her right arm is covered in a detailed sleeve tattoo of a serpent, symbolizing her cunning and dangerous nature. Female V’s wardrobe, unlike male V, tends to be elegant, fashionable, sleek, and refined.

💰Renay Bueller-The Bestie 🫂

Age: 21, or 30 (Depends on the MC’s age).

Occupation: If Renay is 21, she’s currently pursuing her bachelor’s degree in graphic design at the University of Ridgepoint. If she’s 30, she works as a graphic designer at Horizon Design Studio.

Description: Renay Bueller is your sharp-witted and fiercely confident friend who thrives on making her presence known. Her quick tongue and sassy demeanor never miss a beat, and she’s always ready with a perfectly timed comeback that leaves no room for hesitation. Renay is unapologetically bold in everything she does, embracing her individuality with a flair that’s both magnetic and unshakeable. Her charm lies in her unfiltered honesty and the playful, yet unapologetic, attitude she brings to every conversation.

Physical Description: Renay has curly red hair that falls just above her shoulder. Standing tall, her frame is full and curvy, embodying a blend of strength and softness. She has light green eyes and a tan skin tone. She typically wears bold prints and bright colors, which reflect her bold and loud personality.

💰Haruki “Haru” Kim- The Jokester 🎭*Possible hookup option*

Age: 20.

Occupation: Works as a goon for the MC-14 gang.

Description: Haru Kim is a volatile and unpredictable henchman, known for his chaotic nature and love of causing mayhem. A fearless jokester with a creative streak, Haru thrives on bending the rules, often disregarding orders and pushing boundaries. Recently, he’s been testing V’s patience with his disobedience, straining the once-solid respect between them. Despite this, V remembers the time Haru saved their life, holding it in high regard. However, there’s a limit to how much disrespect and insubordination V is willing to tolerate before they must make a choice about Haru’s future in the gang.

Physical Description: Haru is of Asian descent, standing at a short height with a lanky frame. His platinum blonde hair is styled in a messy, short cut, often looking deliberately unkempt. He has dark eyes. His fashion leans toward grunge, favoring oversized, worn-in pieces—ripped jeans, band tees, and leather jackets—reflecting his rebellious nature. His overall appearance gives off a carefree, slightly disheveled vibe, perfectly complementing his chaotic personality.

💰Jacob Johnson- The Muscle 💪 *Possible hookup option*

Age: 27.

Occupation: Works as a goon for the MC-14 gang.

Description: Jacob is impulsive and quick-tempered, often letting his emotions drive his actions. Fiercely protective of their gang leader, V, Jacob is known for his intimidating presence and a deep sense of loyalty. He thrives in combat, showcasing impressive skills in a fight, but his reckless tendencies can sometimes jeopardize carefully laid plans. His unwavering loyalty is both a strength and a flaw, as he often charges into dangerous situations without fully considering the consequences.

Physical Description: Jacob is of African American descent, with closely cropped black hair in a buzz cut and intense dark brown eyes. Standing tall with a muscular build, his presence is commanding and his physique speaks to years of physical training and strength.

💰Kenny Lockwood-The Veteran 🪖

Age: 52.

Occupation: MC-14 gang’s second in command.

Description: Kenny is a stoic and disciplined individual, harboring a dark past known only to V. With a background in combat and tactical expertise, he is stealthy and calculated in his actions. Though he often butts heads with the younger, more reckless members of the gang, his experience and steady demeanor make him V’s most trusted and reliable confidant.

Physical Description: Kenny is an older man with a grizzled appearance and a bald head. He dresses in an unassuming, practical manner, blending into his surroundings. Of average height and build, his grey eyes carry a quiet intensity that hints at the depth of his experience.

💰Lauren/Lorenzo Esposito- The Fiancé 💔

Age: 30.

Occupation: Nepo baby.

Description: L. Esposito is V’s fiancé—a calculated arrangement orchestrated by their parents to cement loyalty and strengthen the alliance between the MC-14 and Hollowed Saints gangs. While V agreed to the engagement stoically and without hesitation, seeing it as a strategic move for the business, L’s feelings are far from transactional. Cunning, charming, and adept at reading people, L is a master of manipulation when needed. Yet beneath their calculated exterior lies a flicker of compassion and a surprising romantic streak. They genuinely crave a deeper connection with V and are determined to claim that love—no matter who stands in their way. Watch your back.

Physical Description: L. Esposito has sleek, dark brown hair that falls neatly into place, complementing their warm, light brown eyes that always seem to be calculating their next move. Slightly below average in height with a petite, lithe frame, they exude confidence that makes them seem larger than life. Their impeccable sense of style gravitates toward high-end designer clothing—tailored to perfection, whether in sharp suits or sophisticated casual wear. Female L favors bold makeup, often sporting a sultry smokey eye paired with a classic red lip, embodying elegance with an edge.

💰PTA Demons 👿- A clique of has-beens who peaked in high school and made your freshman year a living hell. Now they’re attending PTA meetings—proof that parenting should require a license. *Will encounter them the most if you choose to attend PTA meetings*

• Amanda Willmont- The “HBIC” 👑

Age: 25, or 34 (depends on MC’s age).

Occupation: Nurse for Redwood Medical.

Description: Amanda Willmont is a former high school queen bee who never quite moved past her glory days. Beneath her deceptively sweet demeanor lies a sharp, catty edge. She’s fiercely competitive, a master of passive-aggressive jabs, and always seems determined to undercut whatever I do, as though winning petty battles is her life’s purpose.

Physical Description: Amanda has long, luscious blonde locks that cascade down her back. Her petite frame stands at a striking, model-like height. She’s always impeccably dressed in preppy ensembles, with pink as her signature color—a hue that dominates her wardrobe. Flawless makeup is her armor, and she never steps outside without every detail meticulously in place.

🧸 Child: Emily Willmont.

• Senae Zitkala- The Follower 📱*Possible hookup option*

Age: 25, or 34 (depends on the MC’s age).

Occupation: Blogger.

Description: Senae Zitkala is a timid and impressionable individual who clings to Amanda’s every word, eager to please. Easily swayed by others, Senae’s insecurity often leads her to seek validation through drama and gossip.

Physical Description: Senae has a medium brown complexion and long, sleek black hair. Her style is refined and reminiscent of old-money elegance, favoring timeless and polished attire. Short in stature with a willowy, graceful build.

🧸 Child: Isi Zitkala

• Dan Meadows- The Ex Jock 🏈

Age: 25, or 34 (depends on MC’s age).

Occupation: Briar Prep football coach

Description: Dan Meadows is a cocky, self-assured jock with a penchant for arrogance and an air of entitlement. Quick to brag about his accomplishments, he thrives on attention and often dismisses the opinions of others. Though confident in his physical prowess, he has a tendency to be air-headed.

Physical Description: Dan is tall and well-built with a lean, athletic physique. His caramel brown hair is often tousled in a carefree manner, complementing his striking green eyes and fair skin. He gravitates toward a sporty, casual style—think fitted tees, joggers, and clean sneakers.

🧸 Child: Kyler Meadows.

💰Jimmy/Jain Lockwood 👮-An FBI agent who also happens to be a ghost from your past—one you wish had stayed buried.

Age: 25, or 34 (depends on MC’s age).

Occupation: FBI agent.

*Serious trigger warnings with this one*

Description: J Lockwood is the FBI agent assigned to a case that entails investigating MC-14. But J is more than just an investigator—they’re a ghost from your past, the embodiment of everything you’ve tried to leave behind. On the surface, J is charming, polite, and socially adept, seamlessly fitting into any environment. Their easy smile and confident demeanor mask a darker truth: a relentless, obsessive manipulator who bends reality to fit their desires. Beneath the polished exterior lies a dangerous fixation—J has convinced themselves that your rejection is merely a challenge to conquer. Where others see professionalism, you see the chilling glint of possession in their eyes. And all you’ve ever wanted is to be free of them.

Physical Description: J Lockwood stands slightly taller than average, with a commanding presence that naturally draws attention. Their thick, jet-black hair is neatly styled, a sharp contrast to their ice-blue eyes that seem to pierce through anyone they meet. J’s pale skin hints at long hours spent under artificial lights rather than in the sun. Their athletic build, honed through discipline and physical rigor, is evident in their poised stance and confident movements. Everything about their appearance suggests control—but it’s the chilling intensity behind those eyes that’s impossible to ignore.

💰Monica Delgado- The Matriarch 👸

Age: 62.

Occupation: Retired.

Description: Monica Delgado is warm, nurturing, and deeply affectionate toward those she holds close, embodying a protective and compassionate mother figure. However, in public and professional settings, she transforms into a fierce and authoritative presence, displaying a cutthroat demeanor that commands respect and fear.

Physical Description: Monica Delgado is a petite woman with an average build. She has dark brown hair interwoven with elegant grey streaks that frame her face. She has hazel eyes, and an olive skin tone. She has a shorter stature.

💰Frank Delgado- The Patriarch 🤴

Age: 62.

Occupation: Retired.

Description: Frank Delgado is a disciplined and calculating man who approaches both his criminal organization and family life with a cold, businesslike mindset. Emotionally detached and lacking empathy, he views emotional bonds as a weakness and struggles to connect with his child. His pragmatic and methodical approach to life has shaped V, who inherited many of his traits, including his reserved demeanor and analytical mindset.

Physical Description: Frank Delgado is a tall, distinguished man with an imposing presence. Despite his age, he maintains a fit physique. He has a full head of grey hair that matches his well-groomed grey mustache and beard. His olive skin tone and light brown eyes hint at a steely, calculating nature.

💰Sarah Coleman- The Loving Mother 🤱

Age: 54.

Occupation: Retired.

Description: Sarah Coleman radiates warmth and positivity wherever she goes. With an optimistic outlook, she sees challenges as opportunities and believes in the inherent good in people. Her kindness is evident in the small, thoughtful gestures she offers to friends and strangers alike. Always supportive, Sarah has a natural talent for listening and uplifting those around her, often placing the needs of others before her own. She approaches life with a gentle resilience, driven by her desire to make the world a little brighter for everyone she encounters.

Physical Description: Sarah Coleman has short blonde hair styled in a pixie cut that frames her face. She has blue and a dusting of freckles across her nose and cheeks. Standing shorter than average, she has a lithe frame.

💰Daniel Coleman- The Loving Father 👨‍🍼

Age: 54.

Occupation: Retired.

Description: Daniel Coleman is charismatic and has a playful, and lighthearted demeanor. He has an easy going nature and sharp sense of humor making him effortlessly likable, often lightening tense situations with a well-timed joke or witty comment.

Physical Description: Daniel Coleman has greying sandy blonde hair. He has dark blue eyes that often gleam with humor and warmth. He Stands at an average height, and carries a slightly chubbier build.

💰Mandy (last name depending on MC)- Mommy Dearest ⛓️‍��

Age: 57

Occupation: Retired

Born In Poverty Background Description: Mandy is a person who has a rough and harsh demeanor, often resorting to verbally or physically aggressive behaviors to gain control. She’s impulsive, and quick to lash out at others, especially when things don’t go her way. She tends to use her aggression to intimidate and belittle those she deems as beneath her. She is crude and trashy and ever since you can remember, her abusiveness has made you feel nothing but emotional and physical pain, constantly creating a toxic environment that you couldn’t wait to escape from.

High Middle Class Background Description: Mandy has always been someone who placed immense value on appearances and status. She’s condescending and dismissive of others, always believing her way is the best way. She has a controlling nature that makes her prone to micromanaging situations and people, especially when things don’t go according to her standards. She’s a perfectionist and that drives her to be harsh, particularly with those who fail to meet her expectations. She has always been image obsessed and is only worried about how people will perceive her life, never caring about how you’ve felt. You couldn’t wait to escape the suffocating and cold environment that she created.

Physical Description: *partly depends on the MC* Mandy has a voluptuous body type, and she stands at a height that is a little taller than average.

💰Bill (last name depending on MC)- The Pawn ♟️*pretty much stays the same regardless of background*

Age: 57

Occupation: Retired

Description: Bill is a passive, mild-mannered man who has always avoided conflict and tends to put others’ needs before his own, driven by a deep desire to please those around him. He is emotionally withdrawn, and rarely expresses his true feelings for fear of upsetting the balance of his relationships, especially with his wife, Mandy. Though he secretly has always supported you, he was too afraid to stand up to Mandy’s controlling nature. He never wanted to disown you.

Physical Description:*Partly depends on the MC* Bill is of average height with a lanky, slightly awkward frame. He has wire-framed glasses, and a receding hairline.

*MC was disowned by their parents, the reason depends on your MC and choices.*

💰Cian Murphy-Leader of rival biker gang 🏍️ *Possible hookup option*

Age: 25

Occupation: Leader of the Eastside Marauders biker gang.

Description: Cian Murphy is the charismatic and ruthless leader of the Eastside Marauders, a rival biker gang to MC-14. With a mix of cocky confidence and a seductive charm, he commands respect and loyalty from his crew. Cian’s ambition drives him to constantly expand his territory, but his temper can ignite in an instant, especially when betrayed. Though vengeful, he holds onto a strong sense of morality, often struggling with the darker side of his actions. His loyalty to his gang and close allies is unwavering, but the weight of his leadership sometimes leaves him questioning the cost of his ambitions.

Physical description: Cian stands just above average height, with chin-length, wavy auburn hair. He has a lean build. His style consists of traditional biker clothing—leather jackets, worn jeans, and boots—complete with a few personalized touches.

💰Your Child 🧸

Age: 5.

Occupation: Just starting kindergarten.

Description: Your child is a joyful little bundle of light, with an innocence that shines through in everything they do. They’re courageous, never shying away from new challenges, and show a surprising level of smarts for someone so young. It’s clear they have a bright future ahead!

This game is 18+

⚠️Content Warnings: This story has very dark and mature themes such as violence, gang activity, trauma, childbirth, sexual content (optional explicit), unhealthy relationship dynamics, profanity, alcohol, and drug use, struggles with mental health, child abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, self harm, unhealthy coping mechanisms, misogyny/sexism, homophobia, transphobia, cheating/affair? sexual harassment/sexual assault (based on a choice, so don't worry it'll be avoidable and nongraphic. This is NOT done by any RO or by the MC), harassment, mentions of abortion, the MC can be a very flawed and morally grey character depending on player choices, I'll continue to add more if I notice more, or if something is brought to my attention.

Note: I do not condone any of these behaviors; they are solely included to illustrate the moral shortcomings of certain characters, including the MC, depending on player choices.

This is my first IF, so I'm kind of nervous 😅.

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when-life-gives-you-lemons-if · 2 days ago

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The monthly early access update is here!

This update brings +5,300 words. Please note that this is a horizontally focused update, primarily addressing bug fixes and expanding the lore!

DEVLOG

Expanded Day 6 branches—you can now head west!

Pain now increases more quickly during events, recovers slightly after a night's sleep, and requires painkillers for substantial relief. Obviously, you can also use painkillers, now.

Fixed a bug with the outdoor scenes featuring Michael on Day 6.

Fixed a bug that prevented rest after the first night watch on Day 6.

Added new content to news and collectibles.

Fixed various bugs.

Corrected typos.

Patreon pledgers can now find it here. Enjoy! ☺♥

[ Patreon ][ Discord ][ Public Demo ]

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when-life-gives-you-lemons-if · 2 days ago

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Do you have any questions about the update?

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when-life-gives-you-lemons-if · 2 days ago

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Who even is this??? (┬┬﹏┬┬)

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when-life-gives-you-lemons-if · 2 days ago

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Author Update: Spring Slow Down

Greetings, fabulous people! After taking a week off writing, I realized how much I've needed it. I've been focusing on family, home, and health, and it's been so good!

Fear not, I still plan to continue writing The Eternal Library and hope to start chipping away at the next chapter(s) soon.

However, I'm going to pause Patreon billing for a month, or until I feel I have something worthwhile to share.

Some benefits of this decision:

It takes the pressure off so I'm not stressing out.

It means I can focus on writing the game rather than bonus content. POV scenes need to match with the game chapters anyway, so I'm not ready to do more of these until the game has progressed.

It gives paid subscribers a break from monetary support as you're waiting for the next update.

Am I going completely dark? I don't know. We shall see. I might put out a progress report when I feel I have something worth talking about, or I might just get to work and say nothing until I have a shiny new update to share. I will update the public demo mid-month, as promised.

I'm a mom, first and foremost, and homeschooling takes up a good chunk of my days. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's super enjoyable! I get to spend quality time with my kids and learn about interesting subjects as we explore the world together. This will always be my priority, as it should be. I'm also hoping to take a road trip with my family in the next month or so. My days are busy, and I go through cycles where I have time for writing and others where I really don't have much free time for writing at all.

That said, I feel the most honest thing to do right now is to pause Patreon billing so I'm being fair to everyone.

If you're currently a paid member, you won't be charged your renewal during the month while billing is paused, but you WILL still have access to all the content.

If you are not a paid subscriber and choose to subscribe during this time, you will be charged the initial member rate to access bonus content.

If you're not a Patreon subscriber yet, you can always sign up for the free tier to get updates like this before I post anywhere else!

Thank you for your understanding and continued encouragement. I sincerely appreciate your support and do not take it for granted! 👑

I'll be in touch once I've had a chance to make progress on The Eternal Library. I will also be announcing the public update on Tumblr once that's live.

I hope you have an amazing month! 💞

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when-life-gives-you-lemons-if · 3 days ago

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Our sixth and final edition of the Black History Month Author Spotlight series, features Imani (@themuse-if)!

If you enjoyed this, do keep your eyes peeled for future events!

(I’m so glad I got to know Imani — and The Muse — so a big thank you for taking the time! I have a soft spot for slice-of-life / coming of age games, and I certainly related to the past about using IFs to live out alternate-life fantasies…)

Author: Imani

Hey! Imani here! Something that readers may not know about me is that I sell vintage clothes for a living. I’m really passionate about sustainable fashion, and while I could hop on my soapbox and talk about the evils of fast fashion, I’ll choose not to bore you all. To jump off of that point, growing up I watched a lot of films and tv shows, and I was always drawn to how fashion and costume design could really add to those stories. If you ever wonder why I’m always creating visuals for my IF it’s because it really helps me to picture the characters in each scene that I’m writing and make them feel more tangible.

Games: The Muse (slice of life, romance, school life, university life)

Short blurb: You come from a family of artists and art lovers. Your mother is a passionate curator for a small gallery in the city and your father is a sculptor and painter with a very dedicated cult following. They met when they were just starting out and have built a lovely life for themselves and their two children, you and your older brother Cameron. Your parents have always been super supportive of you and your brother’s dreams and ambitions. They were a great source of encouragement and guidance for your brother on his path to discovering his goal to become a game designer and you on your path to become whatever you choose. Growing up surrounded by such creativity just so happened to inspired you to want to create something of your own. Now that you’ve graduated high school it’s time for you to head off to university! You’ve decided to leave the mid sized city that you call your hometown, and go to the big city NYC! You’ll be attending NYU more specifically, but you won’t be making this move alone you’ll be attending with your best friend Maxine!

Quote from the interview

In December of 2023 I sort of stumbled into the world of Interactive Fiction. I had plenty of experience with more narrative based games, but they all had a visual element, and usually didn’t really have a lot of freedom in building your own character. After reading a few IFs, and loving the amount of control that I had on the narrative as the reader, I was hooked. Not too long after I started conceptualizing what is now The Muse. Working on this project during my slump really gave me a sense of purpose and made my day to day feel much less grim.

Read on for the full interview!

Can you tell me a bit about what you’re working on right now and your journey into interactive fiction? What inspired the game/story you’re currently writing?

So long story short I quit my pretty run of the mill job in August of 2024 and I wasn’t able to find something else until September of 2024. As you can imagine I was pretty depressed. I ran through my savings and it was really tough having to rely on my partner so much.

How has your identity, heritage/background, upbringing, or personal experiences influenced your storytelling or writing process? OR How does your work feature aspects of your identity / experience?

I grew up in a household that really appreciated the arts. Music, dance, theatre, studio art, I had a little taste of it all. My older sister (much older, we have a 13 year age gap) graduated from an arts high school and then went on to study studio arts in graphic design in university. I always really looked up to her because she was honestly just so cool. She could sing, dance, act, paint, she even played the clarinet for a while. I on the other hand mostly focused on dance from the time I was three until my senior year of high school when I quit. It’s kind of silly dance that I quit right before the start of my last year in high school when I would be transferring to my sister’s alma mater. I think I just felt a little stifled by dance and I didn’t see it as my main priority.

Starting in middle school I had a few English teachers that really got me more into reading and writing and so when this new opportunity came I chose to study theatre instead so that I could take the playwriting and creative writing courses. After graduating I just went to a normal state school and I always wondered what my university experience would have been like if I had gone to an arts university instead. I’m definitely using The Muse to live out all of my art school fantasies.

What’re you excited to tackle/implement/work on next? Or anything you’re looking forward to in the year ahead?

I’m not gonna lie to you, coding is not my strong suit so just getting the prologue complete was a big hurdle in itself. I am super excited to be moving on to the main story though! The characters that I’ve created are all very near and dear to me since each of them have little similarities to me. I can’t wait to properly introduce them all in game.

Another thing that I’m really excited about is collaborating with readers. I really love the input you all bring to the table and learning about some of your MCs and how you all are crafting your own journeys. I’m hoping to get through Book 1- The Muse: Just Getting Started by the end of the year, and that would include both freshman and sophomore year. Fingers crossed!

Do you have favourite interactive fiction games, characters, scenes or authors that you’d like to recommend?

I’m currently waiting with baited breath for the next chapter of Infamous, and I know I’m definitely not the only one. Don’t ask me who I’m romancing though, I haven’t made my final decision yet. (It’ll probably be Orion though he’s just so…you know.)

Any books, music, movies etc. you’re obsessed with at the moment, or which changed your life (or perspectives on something)?

Felicity, Dance Academy, Center Stage, Skins UK, Fame (the show). These are more like forever obsessions/inspirations that really inspired the vibe for this IF. If you haven’t watched Felicity I highly recommend it, honestly the characters are really frustrating but it’s just so good, trust me.

This-or-that segment: (red = Imani's pick)

Coffee or tea?

Early mornings or late nights?

City or countryside?

Angsty or Cozy romances? (Or enemies-to-lovers or best-friends-to-lovers?)

Steady progress or frenzied binge-writing followed by periods of calm?

Summer or Winter?

First drafts or editing?

Introvert or extrovert?

Plotter or pantser?

Characters or plot first?

Write your own “either-or” pairing: movies or books? (I actually can’t choose, unless we’re talking about books turned into movies. The book 9/10 is usually going to be better.)

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when-life-gives-you-lemons-if · 3 days ago

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Our fifth edition of the Black History Month Author Spotlight series, features Mila (@milaswriting)!

(Mila’s game Golden is one of the games I fell in love with when I first got into Interactive Fiction, and it feels like such a dream to be able to interview her now! It’s so interesting to interview someone who’s been in the IF community for a while now, and see how stories—and their authors—change and evolve as time goes by too.)

Author: Mila

Hello! I’m Mila, a twenty-three year old woman from the UK. Something readers may not know (or probably do considering how much I complain about university), I crave academic validation. I got 90% on an essay I did this year and I was so proud of myself that I’m considering doing a PhD. We’ll see if Dr Mila ever becomes a thing, haha.

Games: Golden (Fantasy, romance, mystery, supernatural)

Short blurb: You work for The Everbrook. A multi-agency organisation in the city of Lehsa that bridges the gap between the human and supernatural world. You’ve been working there for three years now, and you’re suddenly forced to work with a group of allies to solve mysteries that have landed right in the palm of your hand.

Quote from the interview

I wish I could say I’ve had amazing encounters with vampires, magical beings and werewolves to inspire Golden—but that isn’t exactly the case. I’ll let you know if that ever happens though! I’ve always been a bit of a bookworm, more so as a young adult than when I was much younger, but usually the portrayal of poc characters in media wasn’t always shown in a positive light. Or poc characters, when it came to romance, weren’t given the lead roles where a swoon-worthy romance story was played out. To, sort of right those wrongs, and have other black readers like myself, be able to see themselves in the characters of stories—I created a diverse cast of ROs.

Read on for the full interview!

Can you tell me a bit about what you’re working on right now and your journey into interactive fiction? What inspired the game/story you’re currently writing?

I’m currently working on a fantasy supernatural interactive fiction, Golden. Officially, Golden is five years old now. I released it in December 2020 and was regularly writing and working on it for a couple of years. And then I noticed that as I grew from an eighteen/nineteen year old teenager, the ideas I had for my story were different, thus I wanted to make a few changes. A few changes turned into a lot of changes. And now I’m in the process of a whole rewrite, alongside moving to Twine.

Covid was in 2020, and that’s ultimately the year I got into reading interactive fiction too. I first read fanfics of an interactive fiction game, then read the original story itself, and got really into the process of the reader being able to make meaningful choices that impact their reading experience. That was a supernatural story too, and that’s how I ended up creating my own.

When it comes to the changes I’ve made to Golden, the inspiration came from a lot of things. One being my love for mystery, crime and psychology—I wanted that incorporated into the story I’m writing. I love the element of lore and world building, so that’s how I knew the fantasy/supernatural element would be in there. Additionally, my love for found family and complex characters also inspired me to write this story, but to also make the changes I have. Lastly, I’m a hopeless romantic at heart, I adore the stuff! So reading and writing good romance is everything to me.

How has your identity, heritage/background, upbringing, or personal experiences influenced your storytelling or writing process? OR How does your work feature aspects of your identity / experience?

B Holden was the first one I created. I already knew they were going to be a werewolf, and I wanted them as a character to be the complete opposite of how a werewolf is usually described and portrayed. Aggressive, animalistic, dangerous—yet, I’d like to think that B is, and comes off as, someone who is the sunshine that lights up a room, someone who’d make you feel good on a bad day, a kind of person you’ll always want around. From my own personal experiences, I’m a nursing student and I’ll be graduating this year and going into a working environment. I think the changes to Golden emulate that, instead of being a student, the MC is navigating the supernatural world themselves and they’re very immersed into it.

What does your writing process look like? Any rituals or habits? Any tips, tricks, philosophies or approaches that have worked very well for you?

Oh! So, the background is that I love The Naturals series and The Inheritance Games by Jennifer Lynn Barnes, and I got to meet her at a book event in my hometown. And during her talk, she said that she writes with a ‘Writer’s Hit List’. On that list, the writer jots down all of their favourite things that they love about characters, or elements they want their story to have. It’s a bit like a word dump, for example, ‘loves characters that enjoys baked goods’ or ‘loves when character speaks multiple languages’.

Then you end up with a super long list of traits you’d like to give your characters or factors you want your world to have. And you can get your inspiration from literally anything, so that’s something fun to have. You can add to it when you’re not thinking about writing, and then when you have writer’s block, or just want some inspiration, you can open your notes app and see what you wrote down.

Currently, whilst juggling uni and personal life, on my days off/working from home, when I get a burst of inspiration I usually open up my laptop and write in my bedroom or the living room. And whilst writing, I put on ROs’ playlists that I’ve made on Spotify. My new RO, Ireland Monroe, their playlist has been extremely helpful in motivating me to write.

What’re you excited to tackle/implement/work on next? Or anything you’re looking forward to in the year ahead?

I’m excited about getting this rewrite out! I’ve felt really guilty about keeping readers waiting so long for content from me, or just disappointed in myself that I haven’t been able to produce content as quickly as other authors. I know it’s a terrible thing to compare yourself to others, but sometimes it’s one of those things you can’t help. We’re into February now and I genuinely think that I’m getting better at telling myself to just work as best as I possibly can.

But, yeah, I’m excited for people to read and see how Golden’s developed with me as an individual. It’s interesting considering the story has grown up with me, and it’s sort of taken its own shape and whispered to me, “I know you want to change me, don’t be afraid to do so”, and now my nerves about that are near enough gone.

I just want it to be a good writing year overall! So, I’ve got my fingers and toes crossed that the story ideas that play in my head everyday are able to be transferred to screen so others can enjoy them.

If you were to say one thing to your readers, other authors, and/or the interactive fiction community: what would it be? OR If you could change one thing about the interactive fiction community, what would it be?

My advice to readers would be that as writers, we definitely write our stories as an escape and whilst it’s important to write for ourselves, we write with the hopes that you enjoy it too. If there’s a particular scene or character or story that you love, definitely tell that author. It’ll make their day, their week, even. It’s such a wonderful feeling to hear from you guys. And also, just continue to consume the content that’s put out. And just a personal thank you to the readers I have for being patient with me.

For authors, I’d say to have fun writing. If, in your gut, there are changes you’d love to make to your story, then do so. Remember that, no matter what, there’s always going to be at least one person that loves what you write. Always. So, if it’s motivation you want to continue putting words onto paper (or a screen), then that’s it. I also think it’s fun adding a little bit of yourself into your story.

Any books, music, movies etc. you’re obsessed with at the moment, or which changed your life (or perspectives on something)?

I read The Naturals by Jennifer Lynn Barnes and it’s absolutely changed my brain chemistry for the better. I highly recommend it to anyone who likes mystery with a romantic side plot. I love YA murder mystery books, so A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder series, books by Karen McManus. I also love Taylor Jenkins Reid. And, as its black history month, Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé is my favourite black author and she writes queer mystery/thriller books. My favourite of hers is Where Sleeping Girls.

Music: I adore Billie Eilish (Hit Me Hard and Soft should’ve won a Grammy, I will die on this hill!) Noah Kahan and Sam Barber are artists I’ve really been loving at the moment. Gigi Perez as well, Sailor Song and Fable are songs I can never skip.

This-or-that segment: (red = Mila's pick)

Coffee or tea?

Early mornings or late nights?

City or countryside?

Angsty or Cozy romances? (Or enemies-to-lovers or best-friends-to-lovers?)

Steady progress or frenzied binge-writing followed by periods of calm?

Summer or Winter?

First drafts or editing?

Introvert or extrovert? (Gosh, I’m SUCH an introvert)

Plotter or pantser?

Characters or plot first?

Write your own “either-or” pairing: vampires or werewolves? (don’t tell B or K I even asked… I can’t pick between my faves, so I’ll let you guys choose :D)

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