#bc personally i hate it when im trying to talk but keep crying and cant get the words out bc in those cases in the past i have been wishing

[perilegs]

if someone has a crush on you how would you react? just as a hypothetical situation ha ha

[lilgynt]

my mom was like pls don’t do that when i looked annoyed about her talking about the door accessories stabilizing my door okay can ur son not violently break every door in this house and then actually keep his and ur word about replacing said broken door and stop making me the bad guy about being annoyed that my door has been broken for 8 months and the only answer has been why do you need a door

[carpedzem]

hi

under the cut i want to talk a little bit, maybe overshare as well. ill try to keep it short (rereading nat here. i didnt). its a sad post, might make some of you angry but not for the reasons you think

i was staying away on purpose, but a few people asked about me so i wanted to let you know that hey, im lurking, im waiting to see what happens. maybe some things will change in the future but im putting it out here so its all in one place

i think i want to start with saying thank you again for sticking around, supporting my art and my thoughts and having discussions with me. i really opened up about myself and what I created here. im very anxious person and it influences my life on every level, so being heard, seeing people laughing at my jokes, loving my art has been so so important to me

about the situation, the gogcident if you will, i logged out as soon as i saw things going down and been getting updates though different source. and while situation is still on going and i dont know where it will go, as how it ends, theres two or three things im firm on that will always be true for me:

i really hate how believe all victims turns into believe everyone who speaks first, no matter what they say, no matter context, no matter proof. the first statement made in this case was untrue in a lot of important details and while i dont think caitis feeling are wrong or invalid i think her first statement made this situation into something it isnt. i think every victim should be heard but attacking everyone who was accused right away is not a solution

i do believe that everyone who was accused of anything has every right to defend themselves. the way its constantly taken away from dteam is not lost on me and its insane and upsetting

you can be traumatized by the events that werent in its core meant to be traumatizing. sometimes people act shitty and leave scars on you and sometimes you can do the same to other people

edited note bc i want this to be here as well: guilty until proven innocent is a crazy mindset and i cannot imagine situation that i would allow it. some idiots dont even realise how dangerous rhetoric that is. including accusers not being obligated to provide any proof of their claims

twt is the worst thing to deal with any discourse, misunderstanding or any delicate situation. i think no ones there cares for any victims period. i wish that place the worst

okay so what now. i havent decided yet. georges and dreams moves so far confirmed for me that no matter what happened it wasnt with malicious intentions. ill wait to see how this plays out and then ill decide about my next steps. one think i did for sure is i uninstalled twt from my phone (and that already bit my ass the moment dream started his space…) that part of fandom, both people who like (liked?) and hate dream is so damn self-destructive, toxic, manipulative and performative it wasnt worth it anymore. for here, i dont know yet. i dont hate dteam, i think this is very unfortunate and sad and complicated situation that left people very deeply hurt. and i wish it wasnt this way and im pretty sure dteam also wish that. but they cant change it and i cant change it even more

now this is something i dont really know how to tell you but let me try. i never mentioned this bc when i had those realizations, it was too late, everyone moved on and i felt stupid for dwelling on this. i feel stupid now, typing this. the thing is, drituation left me quite traumatized. fucking pathetic, i know. the sudden explosion of fandom left me really badly hurt. i lost a lot of people i genuinely believed to be friends with, and i miss them dearly. i felt, fuck it, still feel deeply betrayed by some of them. i dont want people guess who is who thats not the point, those people moved on long time ago. but that hurt has been really difficult to deal with, especially since realistically i know its quite stupid. crying over some people who were following me back for a few months? but i tried to let myself heal and grow love for this community again and i thought we will be okay. drituation felt like the end of the world but we got through it and I thought we are smarter. and well. im not trying to blame anyone or even a whole community, idk maybe i want to blame the universe for putting me here or society for working this way i dont know. but im hurting and i need to find a better way to deal with things going the wrong way. and it deeply upsets me but im afraid that i have to learn how to love you all less. and i honestly dont know yet what that means, how moving forward will look like. i dont have to make this decision now so i let myself stay away from social media for a while still and then go with presented situation the best i can. i dont try to make anyone responsible for my wellbeing i want to make this clear. im just trying to share my feelings and give you context for whatever happen in the nearest future. no matter what i need more healthy relationship not even with ccs but with community itself (and if you see me rebloging hazbin hotel fanarts. spare me...)

in this place i do want to state that no matter what i dont think dteam are bad people. im not closing myself at possibility of participating in the fandom, probably less though things i mentioned earlier. but if any of those things make you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to unfollow/softblock

im leaving my askbox open if anyone has anything to say, add, or idk, scream at me. not sure if i answer any tho. also if i delete this post in the next 10 minutes out of embarrassment then well, haha

on the final note i want once again thank you all for supporting me when i needed help for my cat. you all did something amazing, something i will never forget and i wish to hug everyone of you in person. thank you

see you around. one day. maybe tomorrow maybe in 10 days. idk

and if you are moving on in different direction, if we ever meet again, dont be a stranger

[dissectedgrrl]

okay so a while ago i mentioned a the good place rtc au

n so i finally made one :D

keep in mind this is j kind of a rough idea thing so not every detail is there but here are my ideas !! this also includes some headcanons for the characters so dont mind certain parts

------------------------

so it kind of follows the same plot as the show

karnak is like michael and he tells the choir where they are, what happened, etc

he got their names right + the fact that they were the choir n referred to as "the six saints" in the news

but he got their personalities mixed up with other students

he thinks they volunteered, helped out a lot of people, etc.

he doesnt know about mischa stealing wine, ocean bullying literally everyone, etc

but the choir knows its all wrong n have to find out what went wrong, how to get out, etc (just everything eleanor went thru)

------------------------

cast of characters :

Ocean O'Connell Rosenburg

she/her , lesbiaB, learning 2 languages, can speak 5

Ocean is in COMPLETE denial that she doesnt belong in the good place. i mean why wouldn't she ? shes ocean o'connell rosenburg. shes perfect. shes supposed to be here.

she tries to remain as perfect as possible while in the good place

she keeps calling karnak "god" no matter how many times he tells her there is no god in the good place. sometimes she does it on accident

the soulmate she got matched up with is constance

^ when she was told that she blurted out "WHAT ? WE ONLY KISSED ONCE !!!!" and everyone just kind of . . . . stared at her

most likely says the "all neutral people should go to Cincinnati" joke

Constance Blackwood

she/her, bilingual and bisexual

Constance doesn't want to leave the good place but she knows it isnt right for her to stay

she loves ocean, but being her soulmate takes a lot of patience (that constance sometimes doesnt have)

she got SO excited about the free froyo flavors

"mmm . . . . warm laundry flavor 😍"

when ocean said the kissing thing constance was j kinda like "🧍"

Savannah

("jane doe")

she/they/it, pan demisexual demiromantic (i swear im not projecting 😭 /srs)

i have a lot to say abt her 💀

since she doesnt know who she really is she tries to learn as much as she can in the good place

^ she always has a "why" to ask n gets frustrated if she cant figure something out

^ it LOVES learning

^ whenever something interests them they get really excited

karnak gave them their doll n when they asked why all he said was "shes nice"

^ ever since then shes LOVED dolls n just toys in general

its favorite thing to learn about is toys

it has a lot of toys n keep all of them in a toy chest

when she learned she could eat food she just didnt stop 😭

^ they LOVE food but their cooking skills arent the best . . . .

^ its favorite savory food is pizza. dont ask why they just like it . . . . all kinds of pizza too

she really really likes music as well

^ favorite artists are frank sinatra and edith piaf !!

its soulmate is ricky

^ she LOVES him like theyre so close (i havent decided if theyre gonna be platonic, romantic, or both, but for now lets j say theyre best friends !!)

^ her and rickys relationship kind of confuses her bc all the other souldmates kiss n hold hands n what not but her n ricky just kind of . . . . watch star trek and talk about their interests together

they HATE being photographed and recorded, the smell of smoke, big rollercoasters, and anything people use to smoke (weed especially)

it hates being called creepy and having people afraid of her

shes really nice and smart but no one (expect ricky n the rest of the choir) rlly gives them a chance :/

Mischa Bachinski

he/him, bi, speaks same languages as he does in canon universe

soulmate is noel

he loves music (we all know this) and listens to any recommendation he gets

has to try and keep calm while in the good place so no one gets suspicious

his weakness is animals . . . . show him a rabbit n he will cry istg

^ hes a dog person but tries to hid it bc noel prefers cats

he doesnt rlly like sweets but hes okay w the free froyo (only SPECIFIC flavors tho)

he asked karnak if his mom was also in the good place, but didnt get a straight answer, but karnak hinted at a yes

^ his goal is to find his mom while he has time in the good place

^ hes doing everything he can to find her and is convinced he gets closer every day

Noel Gruber

he/she, gay (and maybe bigender or genderfluid ? idk yet), speaks english n french

he rlly likes black coffee like . . . . a lot

^ mischa says he hates coffee, but hes never tried it so noel is determined to make him drink it

noel sees the good place as a second chance at life

^ she hopes to get to live out her monique dreams here

secretly hates mischa's music taste 💀

noel introduced jane to edith piaf !

Ricky Potts

he/they, pan + trans demiboy, can speak english n pig latin (when jane asked why he just said "itsyay ustjay oremay unfay anthay englishyay !")

he loves living with jane because he gets to ramble n he gets to hear her ramble as well

^ him n jane have cats ! :D

^ every other saturday night ricky n jane watch spiderman movies while eating pizza. they look forward to that saturday every week !

he actually CAN cook

he claims he doesnt have a favorite cat but Captain Butterscotch is always with him . . . . suspicious

one of their favorite pastimes is looking out the telescope thats in their backyard at night

^ he likes to name stars (even if they already have names)

------------------------

okay thats all i got so far ! if you have any suggestions or anything feel free to tell me ! srry if there are any spelling errors i wrote this down so fast bc i had to get these idea out or else i would implode 💔

[feeling-kinda-sad-ngl]

why is setting boundaries so hard

i just had a talk with my cousin about what her plans were bc lately ive been dealing with so many big feelings (when am i not tbh) and ive been getting kinda tired of not being able to say no to her

and like yeah most of it is a me problem because i could just let her know hey i cant

but i feel so bad just saying hey i cant give you a ride to the gym today (because im crying about how my brain refuses to work normally) and i cant talk about it with you so the best i got as an excuse is that I Dont Want To (!!)

and i felt so awkward thw whole time because i didnt want for it to sound like i was asking her when she was gonna grow up

but shes older than me (not that much older tho so maybe thats why im so nuch more conflicted) and yet doesnt rlly show initiative for anything and i hate that i feel frustrated because im trying to be this dependable person but shes not rlly there yet so it feels like im outting so much effort and shes not and it feels a tad unfair and idk if its okay for me to feel this way.

i need to go back to therapy i cant keep talking into a void about this. i need to talk about it and get feedback and maybe my sister can help idk i feel bad about goingg to her too, she has so much on her plate already

[yuukei-yikes]

What are your post-str Shinaya hcs?

this got so long. its my blog i am not putting a read more. deal with it. its shinaya hour

i want and need a role reversal. i want drama. post str shinaya break up without even being together first. ayano keeps waiting for shintaro to Do something because she's like. okay its been 2~ years and by now she CRINGES at remembering how she acted around him so shes like ok i CANNOT cling to him like that AGAIN. if he wants to come around he will but shintaro is yknow. like that. so obviously he fucking doesnt like honestly hes still sort of acting the same around her like less mean but still a bit dismissive, mostly out of embarrassment though cuz mekatrio wants to kill him+harutaka and momo tease him when he has Moments with ayano so he kinda wants to spare himself that embarrassment so hes like sweet in private then cold in public and ayanos like ????????????????????? does he like me or not what is going ON but also ayano and her amazing awesome self steem issues are like he fucking HATES me im the most annoying person in the world !!!!!!

so she eventually keeps her distance and obviously he notices and shintaros like oh fuck i messed UP because now theres like this sort of misunderstanding and the only way to clear it up is healthy communication but you know DAMN WELL he wont do that but somehow he finds it less mortifying to go around looking like a kicked puppy in a wet cardboard box around her desperately trying to get her attention making ayano even MORE confused.

eventually after a while of being in a circus i think hed get the balls to ask her out himself. probably bc of haruka/takane/momo telling him he's a fucking idiot bitch. anyways i think shintaro tries to kiss ayano and they hit their faces against each others and it really hurts💗🙏

btw thats only them getting together i think. but also that's how they break up and get back together over and over and over with like the exact same precedure everytime. on and off shinaya my beloved.

anc duhhh obviously im gonna talk abt the yuukei quartet Have u met me. takanes like another funny part of the whole thing like i know ive talked abt it but im obsessed with codependent shintaka *holds head* bc ayanos jealous of takane for how vulnerable shintaro is with them unlike with her and takane is individually close to both so shes kinda being dragged by both of them but especially shintaro forcing them to play as their relationship therapist and she fucking hates it but someone has to fucking do it apparently because shintaro and ayano cant talk like normal people. haruka keeps more distance than takane like its something they need to do themselves yknow and tells takane they shouldnt rly get in the way but shinaya KEEP going to her and also takanes insane and still feels responsible for shintaro bc (gestures at the whole ene thing) yeah so its tough for her to say no. like takanes obsessed with shintaro plus sees how pathetic shinaya are being and takane enomoto when they decide to obsess over others so they dont have to think about herself am i right😃<- what haruka tells her . she does not appreciate the comment. the whole thing also causing harutaka drama ougghhh shinaya is so messy that theyre contagious. but haruka is the 1 yuukei quartet member with any emotional intelligence so harutaka have actual communciation so theyre more caught up abt this being like a sorta messed up thing between the whole group and their relationships. on and off shinaya ft unwilling(?) relationship therapist takane ft an even more unwilling haruka who just wants his damn girlfriend to stop cancelling their dates to go stop shintaro from crying at ayanos feet begging her to take him back for the second time this month

ok and.........actual Break Up shinaya where its like Enough for ayano bc thats a fucking insane relationship to have so shes like lol maybe i should get therapy👍 and shintaro again is pathetic and desperately trying to gain her affections back but he just looks so pathetic and its funny. they dont rly stop hanging out bc they wouldnt do that and also its not like shintaro will just leave the dan LOL but thru it all the mekatrio are like KILLING HIM with their eyes especially kano god dont get me started on the one sided(?) kanoshin of it all. i love kano and shintaro having this weird fucking tension during the breakup augh kano little meowmeow the amount of self hatred he feels ok im getting sidetracked shinaya ends up together again basically. in my sitcom delusion shintaro finishes his first song Ever and its abt her and then she hears it everywhere and its so damn embarrassing bc theyre broken up but she still likes him so much it makes her look stupid amd the stupid song brings them back together ummmm sorry. my shinaya era (holds head) i will study them under a microscope

[farmersliga]

:)

sometimes i wish i never became either a bayern fan or a dortmund fan. bc like,,, for the most part being a fan of them Both is the shittiest part of my tumblr life

idk i just. dont deal with conflict well. and ive always responded rly horribly to ppl (validly) criticizing things i like. and the way ppl talk abt the rival team sometimes gets too much for me i guess

and i know that i signed up for this by liking them both and actively following ppl who post abt their faves but. i cant rly help how sensitive i am to this kinda thing, in the same way that ofc these ppl cant help their own opinions and are absolutely entitled to post abt those on their own blogs. AND I DONT BLAME THEM OFC!!!! like. this is rly just a me problem

but yeah i dunno i just hate seeing the negativity from both sides. to the point that it makes me wish i could go back in time and just fucking pick one to stan and full on hate the other. but in that case, i cant even pick one to keep????? because bvb is my first club and if it were about club loyalty then i’ll always love them first, but bayern gave me some of my best friends here and i wouldnt trade that for anything. like i think technically the best thing for my mental health would just be to unfollow all the people whose posts make me uncomf but i like those people!!! in every other context theyre my mutuals n friends n just rly great people!!!!!!! and i respect that they have loyalties different than mine. and god i think im just a mess lmao

so yeah idk i know this is totally my fault but well. just sucks i guess when half my dash is talking shit and the other half is getting super offended about it and i dont even know what to think anymore. ugh. realtalk btw that bvb vs bayern is my least favorite fixture of the season for this exact reason lol i try to avoid tumblr during n directly after that

honestly like i always try to tell myself to just ignore the hate except. i cant. these things sit and stew in my brain forever. im the type of person who cant read goodreads reviews bc if i see a negative one for a book i liked, i end up feeling horrible

ah well. im just. gonna go sleep now cause its past 3 am anyway. my chest kinda hurts still but i feel less like crying after spilling all that lol im a fucking weirdo. anyway disclaimer i mean no offense here n i rly dont want you guys feeling bad bc of this, i just had to get it off my mind

[jinkicake]

Cannot stop thinking about giorno being an absolute menace, like I wonder what he would do with a darling who didn’t want to leave but they’re still firm on their on boundaries,like I would be fine to sit and play housewife lmao he’s paying for everything!! But if he wanted to catch an attitude like “you’re not allowed to go anywhere without me” I would be so annoyed. Like I don’t want to leave why are you being so insecure like hold my hand we gon go get therapy go them abandonment issues and separation anxiety 🙄SHDJD like he’s waiting for them to try and fight him or hurt him and run away bc there’s no way they’re chill, he’s prepared his entire mindset to physiologically manipulate them and to wait for them to love him but they already like him they’re just annoyed at how clingy he is. Like okay you can hold onto me or whatever but i need to go shower, unless you’re gunna like wash my hair like I’m a Victorian maiden and the maids wash you themselves; I would like a cm of personal space🥰🥰 like fhsh he’s so flabbergasted “🤨🤨 you sure you’re not going to escape?” Like he keeps setting them up and they pass every time liek cameras in the house but every exit is wide open and unlocked and it’s empty and they just go get food and go back upstairs 💀 even the rest if passions who would readily keep you under lock and key for him are like ,,,, maybe he is a little crazy we need to have an intervention😭😭 he was ready to use sex as bargaining but like I’m down lmao let me tie up my hair. Like I’ll definitely argue if he pulls some “ I love you and want to keep you safe” shit when I am literally going to the grocery store like mista and Bruno are literally escorting me you can calm the fuck down😒 like you can keep me here or whatever but you’re not gunna smother me that I won’t let slide; he’s trying to have his. Subordinates get close to you so you can tell them you’re planning to escape but that don’t work either. “ you actually hate him don’t you? You don’t look happy” “not really, I mean he’s like a golden retriever he just wants affection. Him stealing my underwear is annoying tho” “ you need me to help you escape? I can save you” “nah, I’m pretty good right here,and giorno has ears everywhere you might not want to let him hear you say that”

honestly... honestly, hear me out, i think giorno would respect those boundaries. idkkk like most yandere works i read of him, the writers always do him like that..... he doesn't let the reader leave or go anywhere but if the reader is like 'fuck u go away' giorno will watch over from afar (mentally crying bc he wants to respect his s/o and bc he can't be near them LOL)

YOU KNOW HE HAS SOME BAD ASS SEPARATION ANXIETY AND ABANDONMENT ISSUES. LOOK AT HIS PARENTSSSS AND HIS CHILDHOOD-

no, see i think i could deal w the kidnapping and everything but like if i had to be stuck talking to a man for the rest of my life i dont think i could do it... sorry giorno,,, you can take away my freedom but not my friends! i would HAVE to shittalk with someone and i clearly cant shittalk to him! ... hmm i wonder if giorno would let his s/o talk shit about him to hiim HAH A

omg i would so want to go grocery shopping w mista like what a chaotic experience that would be but at the same time that would also be hell bc mista would not be my friend like he's working for giorno T T he would not care about my ass-

giorno steals underwear confirmed like it's right there, he's a gentleman-y perv (gasp that gives me an idea)

also if giorno were to keep you under lock and key, which character should he NOT keep close to you? Like for me, it would be abba bc if giorno leaves me in a room w that man im jumping his ass and sitting on his *

sigh i love part five

[spnshameblog]

Ich habe 8.718 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet

384 Einträge erstellt (4%)

8.334 Einträge gerebloggt (96%)

Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:

@spnshameblog

@castiellesbian

@xofemeraldstars

@ladsofsorrow24

@ledzeppelinmixtape

Ich habe 2.890 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt

#castiel – 705 Einträge

#m – 522 Einträge

#ask – 40 Einträge

#spn – 35 Einträge

#anon – 33 Einträge

#supernatural – 30 Einträge

#jary prequel – 26 Einträge

#jary prequel hate – 25 Einträge

#minors dni – 19 Einträge

#dean winchester – 18 Einträge

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#beloved mutual. unfollowed. blocked. has me blocked. beloved mutual. who tf is that. blocked. wow your opinion on that sure has changed.

Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:

#5

Hes tiny

411 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 24. Januar 2022

#4

Literally me looking at castiel

423 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 23. April 2022

#3

I like imagining dean going "43 huh? I really am an old man now :)" and he means it in a positive way, bc he never expected to live past 30, but cas gets so OFFENDED on his behalf like "dean you are NOT old, the average life expectancy is around 80, you are barely half that age!"

And dean finds it hilariously funny so he decides to egg cas on like "no but cas, cant you see these crows feet? Also i swear i found a grey hair yesterday and my stamina isnt what it used to be..."

"Dean if this is about your sexual prowess, i can assure you-"

708 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 24. Januar 2022

#2

Personally, im fond of "dean thinks he already confessed and cas doesnt return his feelings" truthing, bc it makes both of them look like dumbasses.

Dean thinks his feelings were obvious since almost saying "i love you" in the crypt, but he thinks cas DEFINITELY knows after his prayer in the trap, so cas not saying anything back must mean hes trying to let him down easy, right? He doesnt need to explicitly state his feelings and intentions, because they must be embarrassingly obvious. Cas has to know he is loved, forgiven and wanted, the fact that he doesnt reciprocate and keeps leaving is a clear enough answer in itself.

Except, cas is kind of a tunnel visioned autism boy and he NEEDS stuff spelled out for him at least once.

So while dean is over there being an emotionally repressed bag of "if i never talk about my humiliatingly soft feelings out loud, i cant ever be rejected out loud. people just have to KNOW", we have cas going "too bad my embarrassingly soft feelings obviously arent returned, i better keep them to myself so i dont ruin the friendship i have by being greedy" and theyre both wrong and most other people can easily see that.

Cas NEEDS it said out loud, thats why his verbal confession made him so happy, the words had been choking him for ages. Meanwhile dean is visibly confused bc why now and why is cas acting like his feelings arent returned when he KNOWS that dean.... and by the time dean has processed all of it, its too late.

Them overcoming their trust issues, low self esteem and bad communication skills together is essential to me in any post-canon fix it. Dean needs to know that its ok to talk about feelings and that cas deserves the security of an actual confession and cas needs to learn that not everything has to be explicitly spelled out for it to be true and he can just trust deans love for him.

818 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 17. Juli 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

I think cas is so cute like teethclenching, stomachache, squeeze, cry cute, like i cant fucking handle it cute and idk why???

1.020 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 12. Januar 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

[bpdbunnyangel]

my middle sister is moving in the beginning of november. this is a very weird situation since me, my mom and my sisters have all lived here for every moment of our lives. none of us want to live in this place. and it is t healthy to live inside the walls that traumatized and fucked you up. we were never able to heal here. but to me, esp having avpd, i end up in some sort of stockholm syndrome state. i dont want to leave here, even if it is all i dream of. i dont want my mom or sisters to leave, i want to always live with them. and we all think that if we lived somewhere else, and had moved from this bad place years ago, we wouldnt have these issues. not to this extent. but everything here has gotten toxic, unhealthy, dysfunctional and infested. it only keeps degrading year by year. but still. i am so scared. scared of change. especially when i feel im getting left behind, because i am the biggest failure out of all of us. my mom is taking university classes, and she is stressed but she still manages. my sister who is moving is doing so bc she has started university. my youngest sister has been working since she finished high school, and now has a high paying job (even if she does work so fucking hard and gets absolutely used by her shitty awful boss who talks bad about her to her face, she got this particular job bc like one of the higher ceos is one of her old schoolmate's mom. and bc my sister contacted her she talked to her mom and then my sister got this job). they do have it hard - as they tell me. im not the only one struggling. but my avpd is a disability. like i cannot function properly. and then i beg for help from the health care, but they tell me im too high functioning. i wanna cry. idk what to do. what if i end up homeless? what if i just cant do it? and im starting to lose sight of what "it" is? i dont get it i dont get it at all wtf?

anyway so yeah... my mom is so sick of this place that they've decided that she will stay here sometimes, and then stay at my sister's place sometimes. so it will be a huge change. she wont be here as much. and i have to be alone..... bc me and my youngest sister arent talking. and i am too deep inside an anxious state that i cannot deal with it or try to fix it i just cant. but also i have to like talk to my social worker and see if i can get more rent money bc my sister isnt living here anymore. only that is too much for me. i just cannot be a person i cannot. i cannot. i wanna die. like everyone only thinks im pathetic and stupid but why am i like this? i never asked to be like this. i WANT to live, i WANT a life, but i cant. i dont know how. i hate it i wanna cry because i dont wanna die but it seems like the easiest thing to do.

[wanderrlust0]

if youre gonna be happy with me one day and then dry the next day, so be it. ill just match your energy and be dry to you back bc wth

why am i trying to ignore the fact and pretend like its nothing. its. annoying. and theres no reason for it and its unfair that he always gets this way. just bc his ex could cheat, he could cheat, anyone else could cheat, doesnt mean i will automatically cheat as well. why am i always being treated by him like i already cheated and hes already accusing me of stuff thats never even happened nor will it, whenever i hang out with my friend that he doesnt like for NO solid reason. its only his gut feelings and his anxiety plus his outside perspective that my friend is this like crazy, terrible, home wrecker person he believes they are. like why do i feel like he just doesnt like any of my friends sometimes. but this specific friend he says he like hates. like dude first of all, thats such a strong word, you can chill out. secondly, youre the only one whos hating here. my friend doesnt hate you. and hes like “well she has no reason to”. i shouldve said yeah and you have no reason to hate them either. my friend has def shared their opinions on him bc of some of the annoying stuff hes done!!..lol bc yes ive vented to them ofc since theyre my friend, but my friend does not HATE him. theyre happy for me and him and how i was able to find someone for me and stay together for this long (5 yrs with him!!!). he claims he “believes” me and “trusts me” EVERY TIME THIS HAPPENS but then he just resorts back to being uncaring and distant like ??!?! helloooo wheres the caring, loving, funny, bf i fell in love with wtf that just made me cry omg. like you say you trust me then show me and dont stop. why does he have so much doubt in me. not to sound insensitive but he neeeeds to get pasttttt thisss alreadyyy. i kind of told him that its gonna become like so draining if this keeps happening anytime i wanna hang out with this friend and its gonna take a toll on our relationship in the long run. like will he EVER, EVER get over it.. is he really gonna “hate” my friend forever. like can we just figure something out, anything, and do whatever it takes so he can change his perspective of my friend and see that they are def not a threat?! i brought up the idea of meeting again and if that will actually help him to see this person clearer and get his own impression first hand so he can understand and not just go off of his own ideas. he said yes maybe it will but that itll partly feel like a laugh in the face and i was like what?? wdym and he was like well on the off chance that you two DO end up doing things then its like a laugh in the face or whatever. im like seriouslyy. i already told him a million gazillion trillion times that we have NEVER got romantic with each other. right from the start, when we started talking it was in a friendly way and over time we became more comfortable when talking and thats how we became closer. me and him bumping into this friend at the mall coincidently before meeting irl was NOT the problem. we were ALREADY talking about hanging out for the first time. he said it feels like i would choose this friend over him if he were to walk away and i was like okay you cant give me an ultimatum like that and he was like im not! but it feels that way! i tell him i love him and MULTIPLE times he’ll be like “you better!” in a playful but serious way. like do you reallyyy seriouslyyy think that i dont?!? and last time he said that (a few days ago) i was like well do YOU love me?? and he continued to joke around and was like no no i dont love you im like omg stop lying and he stopped. i found out that his defense mechanism is that when he gets in these moods and mindset when im hanging out with my friend, he tells himself to not care about me as much bc if his fears come true then he wont feel as hurt bc he already stepped back. IT MAKES SENSE BUT ITS ALSO LIKE WHY DOES HE HAVE TO ASSUME IM DOING STUFF ALREADY LIKE WHEN WILL YOU HEAL YOUR TRAUMAS FROM YOUR EX D; WEVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 5 YRS. he was with his ex for like a year! i am not her. i will never do what she did.

[stupidthoughtsinwriting]

i need to dump so leave if you don't want to read what i have to say

I don't complain about my mum. She's done everything for me and my brother and i will forever love her for that but damn it she says things that hurt.

i need to let this out bc i really have no friends to vent this out to but even if no one sees this, it's out there and i let it out.

I am a nice person. I like to believe im a nice person and the reason I doubt that is because i constantly get told the opposite by my own family. I try my best, to do things in the way my mum approves of and i really really try but still it isnt enough for her. i could easily forget one thing she tells me and she could ruin my just fine day by yelling at me for the smallest things and calling me ungrateful. Yes, i didnt do what i was supposed to but for christ sake i forgot. for every little thing she yells at me for it and it just... i can't stand sudden loud noises anymore because i have been yelled at so much, every loud thing startles me. I don't say my gratitude, yes but i try to show it because i didn't grow up close to her, not in that way and now i find it hard to express what i really feel and i can't tell her any of this because im scared.

the other day, i said i was nice. that i was a nice person and she said i wasnt. I replied saying I was, just not often at home and she said something along the line of 'because your not nice at home, you aren't nice at all. it starts at home' and that crushed me. did she consider the fact that i wasn't nice at home because nobody is nice to me at home. I constantly feel like i have to defend myself because of the tone that is said to me and when I give out any sort of emotion, she will fight on the fact that we/I have no right to feel mad at her because of her sacrifices.

For FUCKS SAKE i can't express emotion?!!! I can't be mad, or annoyed or tired or lazy for FUCK SAKEEESSS

you interpret completely innocent things as disrespect and we didnt even mean to do it. breathing out heavily, looking away from you. can't i just be tired and breath out?!! or look away because i dont want you to fucking ridicule the way my eye moves so you can interpret it to something you say is disrespectful to you.

i dont say any of this to you because i have it. i hate the yelling and im scare because of it.

another thing i dont want to say to her face is, I didnt ask for this. to be born. I didnt ask to be brought to life and i know, im being selfish or something but really, I didn't. you say things and make it like were such a burden to you but I didnt ask to be born. you wanted me, you raised me. understand that i can't always do everything and yelling only make it worse.

i don't say things to you because i don't feel that we're close enough to be like that bc for years, you focused on my little brother. for years, I felt that he was more your favourite than me and being the child i was, i accepted that. maybe it's me who's at fault for not learning how to open up and i take that. it's my fault.

when I do talk about something, mostly about the things im interested in, i am ignored. im dismissed. im talking too much. if so, I shut up and you take my silence as something else or nothing at all.

fuck i maybe being dramatic, as would seem to others but fuck, i need this out. i need all of it out. even just to a void no one listens to, i need it out.

it's the reason i could be so obsessive. In my head I take these characters and used them as my comfort because where else could i get it. I am sad, alone or lonely in a crowd, starved of affection that i don't know how to process and push away and these characters are all i've got to keep sane.

Mock me for feeling emotion, for crying when your mad at me and you wonder why i'm distant. why i don't tell you things about my life. why i dont answer? because i wasn't asked. because you didnt care before, i cant comprehend how you can now.

I really needed to vent this. I am so sorry for those who read for burdening you with all this but tbf you were warned. I don't care if anybody reads this, I just needed it out. Even if the person this is directed to, doesn't know any of this.

I needed to vent and truthfully, my heart feels a little bit lighter letting it all out. maybe i'll cry again in the shower or before i fall asleep but, i let it out and im kinda proud of myself for that.

[mbabol]

howwow night

finally. defeated soulmaster. jesus christ. i hated him. closest thing i felt to despair in this game

erm i only went that way to the city also bc npc told me i should get my weapon upgraded before i challenge mantislords. so i did. where am i gonna find ore btw

mantislords honestly ngl felt so much better than soulmaster. soulmaster made me wanna commit violence. mantislords made sense.

THE MANTISES ACCEPT ME NOW........THEY DONT ATTACK ME WTH

i havent even been able to keep up with the lore stuff. um. i didnt go into the deep nest yet bc i wanted to unlock the areas i could go with slam.

got lost trying to find the crystal slam spot and ended up getting into the caves thru some other bullshit path.

got EXTREMELY lost as a result, i hate thise flying crystal bugs btw

get so lost i fall into the burial mounds somehow (?)

DREAM VISION? I WAS RIGHT AGAIN THERES THREE GUYS AND A MAIN ONE. WHY ARE THEY HERE ? I WAS SO SCARED THAT I WOULD HAVE TO FIGHT

i was so impatient btw to get out that when the dream sequence wnded and i was supposed to follow the appearing steps i literally kept jumping off my platform before the steps could form. i did that like four times before i gave up and just waited to see what would maybe happen

SO THATS WHAT RHOSE WEIRDO TREES ARE FOR <- dream nail

i somehow make my way back to the crystal caves after all this. i hate most of these puzzles. i REALLYYYY hated the crusher puzzles. i legitimatelt thought i wouldnt be able to finish those

i did tho.

i think i finished most of the crystal caves....? i got the crystal power dash so. yeah

caterpillar grandpa gave me a grub charm !

went back to the city of tears dont rmember why. exploring. i opened sewers the first time around but didnt go in bc it was dark. went in with the firefly lamp thing i bought. its horrifying down there.

THE MOBS IN THE SEWERS WERE SO CREEPYYYYYY UGHHHH I HATED IT !!!

the sounds they made wrre so unpleasant i honestly need to go back to finish exploring bc i mightve missed loot. i defeated the sewer boss tho one try hell yeah

oh yeah i died like five times in the crystal caves

i lost money once too.

found kings station......intriguing. also the poor little rich citizen zombies. i feel so bad abt the one who runs away. am i the bad guy? ive got a couple more cutscenes and plaques that suggest that i might be

OH YEAH I KNOW NOW so it seems like someone called the hollow knight sacrificed themselves to contain the orange plague in some way. it doesnt look very contained to me, but idk if that means it didnt work or if this is the best they can do actually and its just not spreading further. so i assume the hollow knight like. holds it somehow. in their body. which im wondering if i will end up doing in the end. bc. from the early game comment. i might be a little bit hollow myself.

the ghosties also said something like fhe plague is coming back...? do we need to renew the seal or somethng? i knew it wasnt really working as planned

um also i challenged the red guy in the burial grounds. he also wasnt too bad especialg when i figured out he cant get me when im healing underneath rhe platform. so. he also said some strange things. why did he attack the king? why was it assumed i would also attack the king? i thought the king was providing me soul? why provide soul if he isnt benevolent? what would i gain from fighting him? questions wuestions

im also trying so hard to save these grubs I HAD TO GO IN A TOMB FOR ONE. RHERE WERE GROSS MUMMY MOBS !!! IT WAS DISGUSTING THE SOUNDSSS THEY MADE

uh also somewhere in fungal mounds or whatever its called theres a crying person but i cant figure out how to get to them to talk lol

theres also some puzzles that i couldnt figure out that i might retry. acid is somehow my worst enemy still

i have so many rancid eggs now. why am i collecting thwm ?

[just-some-random-blogger]

good morning (or day), lovie!! hope you read it in the morning bc well... the 3 hours difference. truly, you shouldnt be worried about receiving my messages earlier but rather about receiving them later.. i usually answer you before going to sleep. actually, you shouldnt be worried at all yk. 'just say yes even tho you dont know him' i know him!! i learnt whos he bc of your fics!! actually, it reminds me of my cat. her name was busya which is a short name of the word means 'the bead'. but yeah, this kitty looks like that guy hdjfsk 'i felt like i was the main character' lol its amusing how THAT labour made you feel. but valid. anything you feel is ok. when i do this kind of work, i just feel irritated. (there was a big story about men being disappointment) hope you got some rest after that! and hope you still like the way you performed. i know you did your best. 'ITS SO FUNNY YOU CALL CATS WITH KISKIS' we just want some kisses from these cute monsters are we wrong for this? 'you can be my muning mingming kitty kitty cat cat' my honour, catmom!! my star hour! meow meow!! thank u!! in russian we say 'kwa or kwak' for the frogs' sounds. it's more like your variant and i think the truth is somewhere in between? for me frogs sound more like 'kwoa' or even 'qua'. but ribbit?? wtf guys?? 'WE CAN CALL IT WFAL' it sounds so ridiculous TT no really but i cant send too long messages and its title is pretty long yk. 'i love how passionate you are to vocabulary and language' no but really!! i actually curse a lot in real life. i've always been that 'smart kid' whos now burnt out and an a-marks-only student (idk how they call it). so people expect me to speak like a noble lady? its such a great number of such expressive words. why hate them for just being bad (i'm not trying to convince you cursing isn't ugly. you can think of it whatever you do. i just got carried away again TT). in general, words are only instruments to communicate with, so their meaning only depends on how a speaking person sees them. anyway, do you want me to stop cursing in the messages? 'I HOPE YOURE NOT SENDING ME MESSAGES IN EARLY-LATE HOURS' it's 5:01 in where i live. and now yk you're +3 h for me so... 'when he dies im like, u deserved it tho' god bless your nerves and god bless him. happy for you, though. and hes sexy. 'this is him he likes literature i think you’d like him' nah i dont like literature that much (sometimes i hate it) and he's not my type. but i'm happy for your luckiness! 'I WILL KEEP LEVELING HIM UP BECAUSE I LOVE HIM' omg puppy boys TT puppy boys are cute. good luck for you both!! alhaitham poor boy... hope he'll improve and will be good for you. oh i love diluc too!! i dont know him but 1) his face doesnt annoy me (im judgemental if you remember) 2) i love how people headcanon him. so hope he behaves good for you. good luck to bad luck (HAH am i funy mom) bennet. it's good you like hanging out with him, i believe your words. waiting for the girls!! 'you wanna talk about it?' not really, just wanted to share my feelings. 'i dont care about what people think about what i read' nah i'm not judging. as long as it doesnt concern me idc what you write or read. just said what i feel abt it all. i watched helluva boss in 2 days and i'm satisfied. it's good. got my approval. hell theme is still somewhat fresh and it also gives so many ways to interpret it. 'youre talking about that fic i reblogged right?' YEAH dhdjdj big brains get the hints. WOULD YOU BE SURPRISED if i said i also sent that author an ask about sugar daddy daemon after reading the other hcs about sugar daddy aegon, aemond and jace... yeah im better with my fever but still exhausted and my nose is stuffy TT every time i dont feel well the first thing to happen is my nose being stuffed *lots of angry emojis but also crying bc it hurts*. hope you do better!! how are the classes? how do you feel? whats the weather like? do you plan anything for today/sunday? love you! take care <з

hello my muning <3 T_T. i had your message on my browser but i kept doing different things LOL

LOOK AT THIS FLOOF

hope you read it in the morning bc well... the 3 hours difference. truly, you shouldnt be worried about receiving my messages earlier but rather about receiving them later..

T_T i did not read this in the morning. I saw it in the morning but again i kept getting distracted. I DID MAKE A COVER THOUGH AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF I SOUND SO GOOD BUT IDK I WANT TO SHARE IT WITH YOU BUT JUST WITH YOU

ok i found a solution im going to answer your ask privately for this one (: nvm theres not an option to answer privately because ur on anon T_T anyway its fine

i usually answer you before going to sleep. actually, you shouldnt be worried at all yk.

ok i wont be worried then i trust u

'just say yes even tho you dont know him' i know him!! i learnt whos he bc of your fics!! actually, it reminds me of my cat. her name was busya which is a short name of the word means 'the bead'. but yeah, this kitty looks like that guy hdjfsk

i figured you knew him cos of my fics but not really since that's all u know HAHHAH i mean unless you read a bunch of them then sequentially got an idea of what his character is, at least how i perceive him. BUSYA T_T so cute kitty a pretty black cat <3 im luv

'i felt like i was the main character' lol its amusing how THAT labour made you feel. but valid. anything you feel is ok. when i do this kind of work, i just feel irritated. (there was a big story about men being disappointment) hope you got some rest after that! and hope you still like the way you performed. i know you did your best.

i didnt perform at all lolol i hope i can next time we set up. some of my classmates got to perform. the labor made me feel like the main character because we were setting up the stage! and it was in the middle (ok not middle but you feel me) of the cafeteria and the performace was peak lunch time so we were setting up and everyone was looking (well i mean not AT me but at what we were doing collectively as a class) but still i felt like the main character cos im always hot when i go to school <3 🤩😌💅

lol everyones different if you feel irritated doing manual labor then that means manual labor is just not for you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk i think i get it from my dad i feel kind of like a sense of purpose when i build things kinda. i mean it was tiring but fun HAHAHHAH OH OMG I FORGOT TO TELL YOU THE BEST PART WE GOT 2 FREE MEALS HAHAHHAHHAHAH SLLLAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY i ate so much and then bought myself a donut

NOM NOM I LOVE FOOD

'ITS SO FUNNY YOU CALL CATS WITH KISKIS' we just want some kisses from these cute monsters are we wrong for this?

not at all. i now think russian is the superior language because of this 😔✊ english could never (although its ironic i think its superior because kiskis sound like kiss kiss which is english AHAHHAHAH)

'you can be my muning mingming kitty kitty cat cat' my honour, catmom!! my star hour! meow meow!! thank u!!

MEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

omg look at this cat i found on pinterest

T_T WHY MY BABY BUILT LIKE THAT GIGA CHAD? IM - CRYING WHYYYYY ITS SO FUNNY BUT ALSO I FEEL BADDDDDDD T_T

in russian we say 'kwa or kwak' for the frogs' sounds. it's more like your variant and i think the truth is somewhere in between? for me frogs sound more like 'kwoa' or even 'qua'. but ribbit?? wtf guys??

T_T CRYING KWA KWAK KWOA QUA ARE ALL SO CUTE FOR LITTLE WIBBIT FRAWGS T_T

yeah ribbit is like ?????????? but nah russian fr superior for this too. since russian frog sounds and filipino frogs sounds are similar, maybe that means russians are secretly filipino and filipinos are secretly russian

'WE CAN CALL IT WFAL' it sounds so ridiculous TT no really but i cant send too long messages and its title is pretty long yk.

HAHAHAH THE TITLE IS LONG BLAME IT ON FALL OUT BOY I GOT NAMING THINGS LONG FROM THEM AHHHAHHAAH i love making obnoxiously long titles HAHAHAH

'i love how passionate you are to vocabulary and language' no but really!! i actually curse a lot in real life. i've always been that 'smart kid' whos now burnt out and an a-marks-only student (idk how they call it). so people expect me to speak like a noble lady? its such a great number of such expressive words. why hate them for just being bad (i'm not trying to convince you cursing isn't ugly. you can think of it whatever you do. i just got carried away again TT). in general, words are only instruments to communicate with, so their meaning only depends on how a speaking person sees them. anyway, do you want me to stop cursing in the messages?

honestly i dont think youve ever cursed in any of our messages yet so the fact ur telling me you curse a lot irl is pretty wow to me AHAHH. its funny how youre advocating for curse words HAHAHH i mean its pretty obvious to me that youre a smart person, but as a fellow smart person, i know that that doesnt mean youre like this soft spoken noble person LOL in fact it would make more sense if its opposite.

anyway i believe in the power of words and we manifest what we speak so i think its only natural to assume that if you speak a lot of curses you are manifesting that and i dont want that. also The words of a man's mouth are deep waters. i dont want my waters to be murky and gross ew. 👎 L

'I HOPE YOURE NOT SENDING ME MESSAGES IN EARLY-LATE HOURS' it's 5:01 in where i live. and now yk you're +3 h for me so...

T_T sleep better T_T

'when he dies im like, u deserved it tho' god bless your nerves and god bless him. happy for you, though. and hes sexy.

HAHAHH T_T justice for zhongli T_T

'this is him he likes literature i think you’d like him' nah i dont like literature that much (sometimes i hate it) and he's not my type. but i'm happy for your luckiness!

i audibly gasped when you said he wasnt your type. T_T also you hate literature? ?????? SCAMMER DOES THAT MEAN YOU JUST LOVE ME???? in that case T_T im luv u

'I WILL KEEP LEVELING HIM UP BECAUSE I LOVE HIM' omg puppy boys TT puppy boys are cute. good luck for you both!!

so true im luv him T_T

alhaitham poor boy... hope he'll improve and will be good for you.

me too. his dialogue is giving know it all so if he keeps dying on me im going to put him on my hitlist HAHAHH

oh i love diluc too!! i dont know him but 1) his face doesnt annoy me (im judgemental if you remember) 2) i love how people headcanon him. so hope he behaves good for you.

i cry for diluc im luv him i havent played his plotline yet so T_T but he's so emo if i got it right and HAHAAHAH HIS FACE DOESNT ANNOY YOU DANG AHHAHAHAHH SLAY DILUC THE PRETTIES BOY EVAH HAHAAHHA

good luck to bad luck (HAH am i funy mom) bennet. it's good you like hanging out with him, i believe your words.

i love bennet T_T i dont play him as much as i used to know because i have diluc now but i still love him <3 you are .000001 funny HAHAHHA ok ok like 1/2 funny HAHAH

waiting for the girls!!

ok i literally oppened genshin for this AHAAH

ok this is lisa. she used to be my fave i kinda grew out of her but im starting to fall in love with her again she op <3 also her general character is such a vibe AHHAAH

this is xiangling. i remember using her for the first and her level was pretty low compared to my other characters but she sLAYED regardless and i have no idea to play this game anyway so my characters are all weak (according to my brothers who play 'optimally') so yeah theres that but i love her cos she shooq me with her debut in my account

this is jean she is the general of the mondstat ting thing i havent played in so long i forgot NVM KNIGHTS OF FAVONIUS and she a boss shes one of my strongest characters /: cos everytime i wish on the banner thing to get characters i keep getting her (so i secretly hate her) but i love her she heals me and carries me and im so sorry i dont hate you my love im just T_T i dont value you because i have you T_T im so sorry jean m love

I KEEP FORGETTING TO TALK ABOUT THE CAT I STOOD THER TO SHOW YOU THE CAT IN GAME LOOK AT THE KITTY HAHAH i focused more on the cat then showing the character HAHAAHH i have to keep adjusting the camera because the dialogue option keeps appearing and ///: its annoying.

anyway this is yelan she's also op because like xiangling i played her though she was low level and she still ate more so now that ive been able to level her up a bit

anyway since i told you about the dialogue thing whatever its there now but its not even for that cat you cant talk to this cat T_T this is sayu she sleepy 24/7 and i love her for that she is my child idk i just like her cos shes such a mood and a child lol AHHAHAHAHAH she is my child i love her shes also a REALLY strong child and so adorable when she runs. i wanted another character thats a child, her name is klee, but i didnt get her so when i got sayu i was so happy

this is amber. i used to hate her T_T idk cos she was weak but then she got annoying ???? but now i love her cos i realized she was weak cos i was weak im so sorry baby hAHAAHAHHAH

this is xinyan, my bro says people hate her cos shes like a useless character in all senses but i love her cos shes a musician <3 like me HAHAHAH shes pretty weak tho so i dont use her much HAHAHAHHAHAH

lastly noelle my first beloved

i love how it took me so long to do this its morning in the game again HAHHHAHAAHh anyway i dont use noelle anymore because i have zhongli and his shield is way better than hers but she was the first person that protected me (tbh i didnt even know it AHHHAHHA i was just using her cos she was pretty man fr i have no idea how to play this game im just going with vibes and aesthetics AHAHHA) and yeah and shes a real mvp for that.

'you wanna talk about it?' not really, just wanted to share my feelings.

ok then <3

'i dont care about what people think about what i read' nah i'm not judging. as long as it doesnt concern me idc what you write or read. just said what i feel abt it all.

HAHHAHHHAHHAHAH ok

i watched helluva boss in 2 days and i'm satisfied. it's good. got my approval. hell theme is still somewhat fresh and it also gives so many ways to interpret it.

hell theme is fresh AHAHHAH babes maybe its fresh to you but works like dante's inferno exists AHHHAHAHHA (im not tryna be a know it all it's genuinely just funny to me HAHHHA)

'youre talking about that fic i reblogged right?' YEAH dhdjdj big brains get the hints. WOULD YOU BE SURPRISED if i said i also sent that author an ask about sugar daddy daemon after reading the other hcs about sugar daddy aegon, aemond and jace...

THEY HAVE OTHER SUGAR DADDIES AHSF:ASHFFH:ASFHAHF OMWWWWW HAHHHAAH. im not surprised at all. you seem to be the type to send asks. idk theres something about the idea of sending an ask that makes me anxious so yeah i rarely send asks but i have been sending more as of late because of my beautiful lovelies

yeah im better with my fever but still exhausted and my nose is stuffy TT every time i dont feel well the first thing to happen is my nose being stuffed *lots of angry emojis but also crying bc it hurts*.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡 i hope you feel better completely baby T_T i know how annoying it is to have a stuffy nose cos when that happens to me it takes so long to go away and im allergic to dust so T_T RIP

hope you do better!! how are the classes? how do you feel? whats the weather like? do you plan anything for today/sunday? love you! take care <з

i feel kinda sleep rn HASHFAS ITS 10 pm now Hhlashfdlasfh ahfalsfsa the weather is cold but ur russian so you probably would slap me and say YOU THINK THAT COLD HAHHAHHHA but yeah. i have assignments i will do tomorrow i have to watch a movie /: and im too lazy to do it but ill do it tomorrow rip. thats my plans on sunday so yeah

i love you <3

i was planning to write for wafl today but im too lazy. cant it just aslha/sf write itself T_T SO LAME FOR THAT

xxx

[doebt]

like i LOVE life but i dont ever want to live in a world without my grandma lol. i cant imagine a worse reality than that. i would rather ANYTHING else happen. i would do ANYTHING for that to never happen

[tannithvibes]

ya know i relate to Tannis, despite being a v sweet friendly person now, bc as a kid i was so painfully shy that i didnt talk to anyone ever. every friend i made started out as someone i absolutely despised bc they were loud + extroverted and wouldnt leave me alone. the best friend i ever had in school came up to me in middle school and said "im a werewolf" and my sarcastic ass went "yeah? and im a magical flying taco that talks and grants wishes, go away" and went back to reading. six months later she was not only my best friend, but we were completely inseparable. i wanted nothing to do w these ppl and they all just went "yea that socially awkward asshole is gonna be my best friend"

you cannot tell me that if borderlands was a schoolkid drama that wouldn't be exactly how ppl becoming tannis' friends would go