#i know this isnt the usual stuff i post but i really needed this
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stupidthoughtsinwriting · 1 year ago
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i need to dump so leave if you don't want to read what i have to say
I don't complain about my mum. She's done everything for me and my brother and i will forever love her for that but damn it she says things that hurt.
i need to let this out bc i really have no friends to vent this out to but even if no one sees this, it's out there and i let it out.
I am a nice person. I like to believe im a nice person and the reason I doubt that is because i constantly get told the opposite by my own family. I try my best, to do things in the way my mum approves of and i really really try but still it isnt enough for her. i could easily forget one thing she tells me and she could ruin my just fine day by yelling at me for the smallest things and calling me ungrateful. Yes, i didnt do what i was supposed to but for christ sake i forgot. for every little thing she yells at me for it and it just... i can't stand sudden loud noises anymore because i have been yelled at so much, every loud thing startles me. I don't say my gratitude, yes but i try to show it because i didn't grow up close to her, not in that way and now i find it hard to express what i really feel and i can't tell her any of this because im scared.
the other day, i said i was nice. that i was a nice person and she said i wasnt. I replied saying I was, just not often at home and she said something along the line of 'because your not nice at home, you aren't nice at all. it starts at home' and that crushed me. did she consider the fact that i wasn't nice at home because nobody is nice to me at home. I constantly feel like i have to defend myself because of the tone that is said to me and when I give out any sort of emotion, she will fight on the fact that we/I have no right to feel mad at her because of her sacrifices.
For FUCKS SAKE i can't express emotion?!!! I can't be mad, or annoyed or tired or lazy for FUCK SAKEEESSS
you interpret completely innocent things as disrespect and we didnt even mean to do it. breathing out heavily, looking away from you. can't i just be tired and breath out?!! or look away because i dont want you to fucking ridicule the way my eye moves so you can interpret it to something you say is disrespectful to you.
i dont say any of this to you because i have it. i hate the yelling and im scare because of it.
another thing i dont want to say to her face is, I didnt ask for this. to be born. I didnt ask to be brought to life and i know, im being selfish or something but really, I didn't. you say things and make it like were such a burden to you but I didnt ask to be born. you wanted me, you raised me. understand that i can't always do everything and yelling only make it worse.
i don't say things to you because i don't feel that we're close enough to be like that bc for years, you focused on my little brother. for years, I felt that he was more your favourite than me and being the child i was, i accepted that. maybe it's me who's at fault for not learning how to open up and i take that. it's my fault.
when I do talk about something, mostly about the things im interested in, i am ignored. im dismissed. im talking too much. if so, I shut up and you take my silence as something else or nothing at all.
fuck i maybe being dramatic, as would seem to others but fuck, i need this out. i need all of it out. even just to a void no one listens to, i need it out.
it's the reason i could be so obsessive. In my head I take these characters and used them as my comfort because where else could i get it. I am sad, alone or lonely in a crowd, starved of affection that i don't know how to process and push away and these characters are all i've got to keep sane.
Mock me for feeling emotion, for crying when your mad at me and you wonder why i'm distant. why i don't tell you things about my life. why i dont answer? because i wasn't asked. because you didnt care before, i cant comprehend how you can now.
I really needed to vent this. I am so sorry for those who read for burdening you with all this but tbf you were warned. I don't care if anybody reads this, I just needed it out. Even if the person this is directed to, doesn't know any of this.
I needed to vent and truthfully, my heart feels a little bit lighter letting it all out. maybe i'll cry again in the shower or before i fall asleep but, i let it out and im kinda proud of myself for that.
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al-luviec · 3 months ago
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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justjwab · 5 months ago
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Top 10 posts customer service workers hate reading
very controversial opinion here, but sometimes customer service workers are the problem 😶
#once again reminded to be nice to the customers#reminds me of a time a customer wasn’t mean but was really overbearing and took like an hour to finish assembling his gift#admittedly a very nice gift for his mother#part of that hour was him coming back to the store and wrapping the box right in front of me#and he was doing such a terrible job i just ended up helping him anyway#i had to ask my boss to stop me if he came back because i couldn’t tell this guy to fuck off because he was being nice#but that kind of nice where you say stuff like oh i must be so annoying right now#yeah you are get out i wanna sit down#hate this post especially because i absolutely cant be mean at my job because most of the people who do get on my nerves are parents#who usually have their kids with them#and i always feel bad whenever i have to raise my voice at children or teenagers#like im not perfect and i know my shortcomings but what is this post achieving#not to mention being a little rude is normal we get angry for a reason thats why customer service workers put up with it#that and we need to keep our jobs and pay rent#and deal with 50 more customers for the rest of the day#but then again i guess that customer i got impatient with has to deal with 50 more cashiers today so tough world#I agree with op but its one of those things that is such a little problem compared to the other bigger problem#IM JUST BEING TOLD TO BE NICE AGAIN#if you made it this far you should read Bright-sided by Barbara Ehrenreich#its about toxic positivity in the united states#like why is everyone in this country so opposed to being upset#dont get me started on food service#which is already a high stress environment#with most of the staff in kitchen not even getting the opportunity to have a word with customers#and the ones that do are usually teenagers anyway who should not be judged for giving attitude#like i started these tags from the mind of a retail employee#but now i remember i worked in food service#some of the nastiest stuff you hear from people day to day isnt even from customers but your coworkers#who may have to pick up your slack if you fall behind whether thats your fault at all#anyway cool sentiment but this post reeks of i-never-worked-a-customer-service job or i-did-but-im-complicit-in-worker-suffering
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the-s1lly-corner · 9 months ago
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Sharing the bed with various CRP characters 1/2
Same song and dance as the cuddling post! If theres any characters you want to see, let me know! If theres also any specific scenarios you want to see dont hesitate to drop them, love doing these kinds of posts
Characters: Slenderman, Splendorman, Eyeless Jack, Laughing Jack, Masky, Hoodie, Jeff, Puppeteer
Notes: Reader is GN, can be seen as romantic or platonic
CWs: mentions of blood but it's nothing huge, better safe than sorry though
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Slenderman
He hardly ever crawls into bed with you, on nights where he is with you he tends to linger in the corner- or if you insist, he will take a seat on the foot of your bed if you feel the first was.. creepy.. not that this solution is any better- he is never going to lay down, thus, with a broken heart I have to give him the first rating of 1/10, with his only saving grace that he will protect you should anything happen
Splendorman
Unlike his fellow slenderbeing, Splendor is more than willing to crawl into bed and try to lay with you! It's a bit of a tight fit, though, even with him manipulating his body as small as it can get... it can get a little uncomfortable, unfortunately. And spirit can only make someone so comfortable.. 3/10
Eyeless Jack
I personally headcanon that hes on the shorter side- 5'5 to 5'7, so thankfully space isnt an issue! He runs cold, so if the nights are hot hes a good option for a cuddle buddy! But how is he in his sleep? He sleeps like a rock- he doesnt move or shift around all that much so you're unlikely to be disturbed! He.. does snore, though, or at least that's what it loosely is. Its more like gurgling due to any of his gripping goo getting into his throat- not a good noise.. will wake up coughing and spluttering.. 5/10, a pretty average sleeping experience
Laughing Jack
He doesnt need to sleep and he can only pretend sleep for so long before he gets antsy- it takes him a while to understand that you need your sleep and how much you need. He doesnt mind staying in bed and cuddling with you to pass the time- hes very large, warm, and comfy so it's not a terrible set up! Sometimes pretends sleep, complete with a fake snore. A little big for the bed at I feet tall, and sometimes snatches the blanket to fully sell the "fake sleep" thing as well as rag dolling on you 6/10
Masky
He doesnt sleep around you, it's just a little quirk of his that he doesnt let his guard down at all- he doesnt exactly distrust you but its.. complicated. Hesitant when you offer to let him crawl into bed with you, he's rather fond of the little perch hes made in the corner of your room, but you cannot deny that he looks like a sleep paralysis demon to your fuzzy sleepy brain. Still as a corpse in bed, WILL yank the blanket back if you steal it in your sleep 7/10 not very disruptive otherwise
Hoodie
Will crawl into bed with you and get up close to you, loves pulling you close to him during the night. Falls asleep after you do, though he probably watches you in your sleep... smells like wet leaves and mulch 7.5/10, he let's you take his hoodie sometimes or even just crawl into it with him. Does not give a shit if it gets stretched out he can always get another one. Sleeps between you and the door to the bedroom
Jeff
Heavy sleeper and he snores loud, so good luck with that. Probably also a blanket thief. Bounces between staying up all night or falling asleep the second he hits the bed- really it depends on what hes been up to... at least he usually has the manners to take his bloodstained hoodie off before crawling into your bed.. probably kicks in his sleep.. 4/10
Puppeteer
Very hard and very cold, and I don't think he would need to sleep but can if he desires. Wants to be the one cuddled, just make sure to bundle up with some extra blankets so you can stay warm! Doesnt snore but you can hear his joints creak with each movement- you know, puppet stuff.. 5/10, not terrible but not spectacular
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mask131 · 13 days ago
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I am re-reading the Silmarillion, and something strikes me. The women of Tolkien's world have been talked about TO DEATH especially with all the recurring debates surrounding the Rings of Power series.
As we all know, Tolkien was not a "feminist" in the modern sense of the word. He had a very male-centric point of view and appreciation of the world, he had male-driven and male-centered stories, and actual women characters were sparse and rare. There are only five really big female characters in "The Lord of the Rings" - the quintet of Galadriel, Eowyn, Goldberry, Lobelia and Shelob. [No, don't talk to me about Arwen, she only really was a character in the movies, in the book she's just there in the appendix and she was literaly an afterthought of Tolkien to act as Eowyn's romantic double...]
Consider this. Galadriel, Eowyn, Goldberry, Lobelia and Shelob. This tells you everything you need to know about Tolkien's women, in good and bad.
The Silmarillion has the same motif of having a lot of female characters, only for most of them to be just footnotes, secondary characters with no lines, under-developped one-liners... with in a contrast a handful of super-cool, super-badass, complex and developed heroines at the center of the plot.
Aka, on the bad side, when listing the Valar, while Tolkien gives an interesting personality, great domains and cool attributes to all the male ones, half of the female ones are just... there. And do one stuff. And never appear again. I mean come on... Vana and Nessa? Estë and Vairë were done dirty... That's the actual type of "non-feminism" Tolkien has. It isn't about him hating women or trying to be offensive in his depictions - it is about him just, not putting as much thought, effort and care into his female characters as his male ones, a bit the same way he creates the vast expanses of the East and South of Middle-Earth and then never bothers actually developing more of it or seeking to tell tales of it - but that's for another discussion about Tolkien's "racism". Here we talk about women.
But here's the thing, aka the good side... When Tolkien does find the time and care to develop and flesh out a female character, by Iluvatar he goes all out! Again, we are back on what I said earlier: the women of Lord of the Rings can be counted on one hand... but these fingers are Galadriel, Eowyn and Shelob, so you can't claim he isnt writing powerful, important or uninterestng female characters. Which leads me to my original remark - as usual I get driven away in digressions of all sorts and kinds.
Have you ever noticed that Melkor's greatest enemies, the ones he fears the most, and his most effective foes... are women? Tolkien might not like to put them front and center of his tales, and he might have been a man of the early 20th century England in culture and mind, but boy does he has something to say about how women are actually the first enemies of the literal embodiment of evil and destruction! I mean think about it. Varda of the Stars, and Yavanna of the trees. Nienna has her ambiguous relationship to him - her tears work against him, and yet without her plea for him he likely would not have been released from the dungeons of Mandos. You have Melian with her Girdle, and Luthien with her Hound. And of course most of all Arien, guardian of the Sun, not only one of the rare fire spirits that Melkor couldn't corrupt (despite him basically ruling over all fire), but that frightens him so much he keeps hiding away and doesn't even dare to attack her... [I also reblogged some times ago a post praising the brilliance of Tolkien keeping the old European sun-moon motifs but switching the genders. The weaker, inconsistant, lustful, whimsical, disorderly, untrustworthy Moon is now a male principle, while the steady, dangerous, strong, powerful and beautiful Sun is a woman.]
It is actually REALLY easy to do a feminist retelling of Tolkien's work. Melkor doesn't fear Manwë as much as Varda. Aulë's works and servants get corrupted by Melkor, while Yavanna's do not. Melian and Luthien actively works against him. He friggin' pisses himself when the Woman of the Sun shows up. Sure, there are some evil female characters that serve him down the line and are relegated to the "obscure footnotes and undescribed secondary characters" zone - Thuringwethil the vampire or queen Beruthiel. I coul also dropped deleted characters from early drafts, like the ogress Fluithuin. But among them stands Ungoliant... THE only true female big bad on the dark side of Arda. THE badass, nightmarish, creepy eldritch abomination. And who ends up double-crossing Melkor, almost KILLING him, and again making him basically shit in his pants - as Varda and Arien do.
The first enemies of Morgoth are not the Valar, or the Maiar, or the Elves... It's women.
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zntauri · 4 months ago
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Love your art! What's your shading process / any tips? I really like how vibrant it is
Thank you!! also sorry this is a long post
I usually start painting the character after I already have a background, super sketchy or with a placeholder (a photo usually), just so i know what colors to use
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I fill the character with a color from the BG or a similar color and use the multiply blending mode
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then i paint the lights on another layer with the "add glow" blending mode (i also pick the color depending on the bg).
I add another multiply layer for anything that needs to be darker, like stuff under the characters clothes
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I paint a line with a saturated color between the lights and shadows, for example i added a bright red for the cape and light purple for their skin (? this is subsurface scattering, it doesnt happen on every surface but i like how it looks so i use it on everything lol.
Then i paint the lineart a similar color to each part of the character or you can paint it all red and use multiply
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that's basically it
some tips (these are just things that work for me)
I think is better to paint the lights, not the shadows. it helps to see the shapes of the thing/character you're drawing better (its what i did with lambert ⬆️)
Draw backgrounds, i think it makes every drawing look more interesting and its easier to decide the lighting for the character, if you dont want to draw anything detailed you can paint something simple and blur it
i really recommend to start with a thumbnail, experiment with colors, perspective, composition, etc. before actually starting the drawing thumbnails of this post
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this tip is something that everyone has heard before but use references, real life references like photographs for perspective and lighting, 3d models for anatomy and perspective, paintings to see how other artists stylize objects, bgs or characters. use references for everything
this tip is super important for me: check the values of your drawing, (lower the saturation, with the lineart hidden) if it isnt readable/ doesnt look good in black and white it most likely wont look good with colors (this depends on artstyle and personal preference tho)
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sunny-knight · 23 days ago
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What Kind Of Monster Was He?
A @forgettable-au fan (colored) animatic
MINOR BLOOD WARNING!
*Was he the kind to do too much, or not enough?
…OK, SO WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS-
I had planned to finish this into a full fledged animation, but a lot of the parts I did end up finishing just didnt live up to what I imagined…I waited for more motivation to happen, but it just didnt so HERES THE COLORED ANIMATIC CAUSE IM REALLLY HAPPY WITH WHAT I HAVE and ive sat on posting this for like a 2 weeks 😭 which is an eternity in my time
Im gonna post the unfinished “finished” part on my side account @o-sunny-day though! and probably have people yell at me cause it actually isnt that bad AND IT TOTALLY ISNT I just… art. You get it. ENOUGH YAPPING! ITS TIME TO YAP!
except not yet, MORE BACKGROUND INFO HUCDHUC- but its background info on explaining the lore…
The explaining is much less expansive than in Dear My Dear just because I didnt work on it long enough to think every bit of it through. This is just a clean, nicer looking, and colored version of the very first storyboard.
I usually think about and put more effort into the little stuff while making the FINISHED bits since ive had so much more time to think about that in all the preppin n sketching.
BUT I liked the explaining format I did for Dear My Dear so im sticking with it!
The main idea for this was to do a study of Wingdings’ character from what we’ve been given, mainly focusing in on the expectations he puts on himself because holy shit the lyrics for this works so stupidly well it makes me mad LOOK AT THIS???
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its ridiculous. i love it. I didnt know Jack Stauber helped write Forgettable AU???? woww!!! ANYWHO thats the gist of it, not much context is needed past that. Onto the sillies!!!! (per usual excuse the shitty quality of the pngs idk why Tumblr does that-)
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Did you know love? Will you rest in peace?
Wingdings and Sans holding hands as kids, before turning to a casket like appearance for adult WD. The flowers hes holding are pretty important too, Marigolds to represent grief, Lilys, new life, and Forget Me Nots for this lovely little line I found when looking up good flowers to use-
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“a promise to always remember” ….stop that.
That actually also has a double meaning in this case too. 1, ofc the forgetting of Wingdings. But ALSO Wingdings forgetting something himself. Forgetting who he is. Almost like a Zuko ATLA situation.
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Did you have a family?
Who knows where theyre parents are, but this is HAPPY TIME and we’re gonna assume they were so awesome and very kind but had to leave or went to a farm in the sky for whatever reason.
The colors here I had a lot of fun with. Their parents had warm colors but the boys have cold, still with warm accents. Its said they more or less raised each other being very independent as shown in the second part with them running out the door by themselves.
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How was the view from the shelf? Did you ever believe in yourself?
Before, we started with the beginnings. The good things, the only thing Wingdings cares to even recall. Now we’re seeing his life really start to turn upside down- making first contact with The Player :D
He’s hesitant to reach out, but is intrigued, before getting a rushing revelation of his reality and how it isnt “real”
Rather than feeling crushing existential dread, he more feels pressured to be BETTER, to figure a solution, to do something. Thats what white represents here
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WHAT KIND OF MILK WERE YOU?
We then switch to more examples of how Wingdings is taking this pressure (not well) The soft tones of yellow that were shown before, turn to way brighter, intensifying that feeling that he should be fine, he should be happy, drowning in success of being the Royal Scientist.
But he just desperately wants to just go back to a time of nice coldness.
The warm vs cold tones in this I had so much fun with, coldness is supposed to represent hostility usually, while warm is nice and happy. (same with Black and white. Scary, relieving,) But these points often contradict each other, its hard to tell what you’re feeling vs what you’re supposed to be feeling. Just like Wingdings!
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WHAT KIND OF LIFE DID YOU LIVE THROUGH?
The white lab coats, the expectations, theyre on all of them. But Wingdings has essentially become his expectations.
He questions what life he wants to live, one being himself and alone (speaking in wingdings) or not himself and with company (speaking in a “normal” font) Still, he frames it in past tense as he believes theres no going back now, based on what he knows.
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“One of the last happy moments they had together” stop that. (i cant find a link to when that was said but I know it was once, about them taking a photo together….)
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DID YOUR LIFE RUN RICH WITH CALCIUM?
Calcium….bonesss :3 Hehehehdhehfhehehheheheh still dont know why he has holes in his hands so we’re movin on
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DID THEY LAUGH AT YOU OR DID YOU LAUGH AT THEM?
Compared to the childhood Wingdings remembered, heres the sadder, bleaker, more realistic version. He always thought they were laughing at him but… maybe they werent.
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DAIRY BELOVED. YOUR DAYS ARE GONE,
It doesnt matter now though. Because in the NOW, Wingdings has become consumed by his expectations of himself, seeing this has the “only option” to do the only thing that he feels will give his life meaning and purpose, establishing connection with THE PLAYER
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But the grocery list goes on…
And yet life continues on without him, and his room is transformed into a more livable space now that someone is…living in it. Always hurts so much making the differences between Wingdings and Papyrus’ room. It feels like making something out of the man Wingdings COULD HAVE been. Because honestly thats just what Papyrus is,
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Thank you to my bestie @fruitytrip for helping me with all of my art in general but especially the storyboarding on this :3 <3
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theellipelli · 4 months ago
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I need to eat drywall nostalgic chill is so good GGRRRHAAAHHHHHHHH FIGHTING FOR THE SPOT OF MY FAVORITE FIC EVER RN. Anyway I wanted to ask what ur process is when writing fic? Especially something so lengthy and lore-heavy like nostalgic chill. Been trying to cook up some hsr fic myself but I get so overwhelmed by the sheer amount of world lore ..
your FAVOURITE fic EVER??? that is a lot of praise... waow...
thank u for asking such a fun question!!! my process is very losey goosey, specifically for this fic, but ill try to explain it as best i can
the (VERY) rough outline for this fic has been planned out since long before i actually started posting it, with it getting more detailed near the end (a few of the final chapters have already been drafted, actually)
on the path towards the end ive spread out a few plot points which are either just cool things i want to write about (like all those damn fights) or important character stuff (like the bailiu heart-to-heart and every single jing yuan reality check)
when i start a new chapter, ill usually already know where i want it to end, often one of those pre-planned points. ill spend a few days (or even one or two weeks) thinking about how to continue the story, and then once i have an idea ill like, ill sit down and start writing.
typically, a good idea will be the easiest to write for me. if i get stuck anywhere before reaching the end of the scene, ill usually just scrap it immediately and start over. i try to make each chapter one unbroken scene, so a reached plot-point isnt necessary for the chapter to end.
like, for the most recent 2 chapters, the plot-point ive been writing towards is jing yuan meeting the master diviner, which was a VERY important thing that needed to happen before anything else. of course, everything is also following an overarching goal, which is mostly just jing yuans character arc, and that is built towards in the narration between major events. also worldbuilding i guess.
on the research side, i dont have much to say? my grasp on the xianzhou lore is already pretty solid (its my favourite area) so a lot of the research i do lore-wise is just double-checking that i have my facts straight. also, reading the xianzhou lore is good for inspiration, if im really lacking in that, which is unusual but not impossible.
i dont think my process is especially unique? its definitely not very structured, but thats unusual even for me. idk tldr i think of cool stuff i want to write about and then fill in the gaps between those cool stuff. tis fun
as thanks for asking such a fun question, here is a little yanqing for you. kisses. mwah. blessed be the indulgence.
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iconsumeheadcanons · 2 months ago
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some turtle origin hcs
this is based on appearance for now. and very small list lol. i just needed to talk about tmnt and herps or i was gonna like explode or smth. PLEASE share ur own ideas if u have any!!!!
i think tumblr will auto-label images posted by another user that reused in-site, but if not i just grab baby tmnt turt pics from forgetful-nerd
2003
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either yellow-bellied sliders Trachemys scripta scripta (left) or chinese box turtle Cuora flavomarginata(right)(im leaning more towards cuora here)
->yellow plastrons
->domed shells (espceially like the chinese box for this!)
->both sold as pets (yellow-bellied way more likely since its native-ish and common)
->i heard sliders are very personable (most sliders slip into water if i get within 100ft of them tho so i cannot confirm)
->the box turts are very squort
2012
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diamondback terrapins malaclemys terrapin!! you cannot convince me otherwise tbh (but i love to hear more hcs too!!)
->look at the goofy shape of those legs. look at that. just like the 3d models
->spots, swirls, pale coloring(but there are ones that match the color of the brothers better, they arent all pale white)
->flat ovular shape shell that is bulky
->popular pets, typically ppl get more than one at a time, and somewhat native to the region as they live in brackish/coastal habitats (fitting for turts who regularly swim in flooded areas and eat algae and worm based meals for like....15ish years)
->(they would be carnivorous if they were purely turtle btw)(also eating algae isnt really too weird. prolly strange how they do it since they seem to eat it fresh? but ppl eat seaweed and algae based broths all the time; i.e. most stuff in japan actually!)
->pls look at pics of these, theyre so unique as a species, have fun personalities, and look so stinking silly
->oh and dee said one ep that they were either (eastern?) box turtles or diamondbacks. i think they have very little in common w terrapene carolina carolina
2023
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STINKPOTS aka musk turtles!!!!!!!! i havent picked out a particular one (and there are many!) but LOOK AT IT ASDLFKJASDFKLJDSF
->ALL of them look exactly this goofy. they only get GOOFIER with age. spectacular
->so small. please understand. size of a pea kinda creature (only exaggerating a bit). they hatch the size of a coin and reach adult size of smaller than a human hand. i have held one before. this is not exaggerating. i have "medically small" hands as well. (if anyone could explain what my neuromusc doc meant by that btw that would be cool to know. i just know it means i cant reach the enter key on my laptop w/o moving my whole arm over too)
->stinky:teenage boys going to public school blah blah that joke i guess
->looks exactly like how i imagine donnies scream would look like if it manifested as a real turtle
->some ppl have them as pets, kinda rare tho. the turts are VERY common in my experience. usually in wetlands foresty environments. if there are some native to illinois i dont see why they wouldnt be fucking around some parking lot drainage pond in new york
->great mixture of looking fat and squishy and also looking like a child growing into their long limbs. good silly shapes
->look like little treats to snack on like gum <3
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^mikey giving his first stand up performance at comedy club
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woofs-silly-ships · 3 months ago
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Oh boy, it’s that time again
(Haven’t done it much here but when a big piece of media comes out, you usually get a hyperfixated ramble post right after I finish it and a deep dive a day later. This is the deep dive lol)
Warnings: discussion of abuse and neglect, solitary confinement, and ptsd/childhood trauma. And ofc spoilers for WOTFI 2024 and just smg4 in general
Oh yeah and since I’m tagging this as selfship, the selfship stuff is at the bottom of yall want to just skip to that lol
I think I need to preface this by saying I still loved literally all of the WOTFI besides the ending. The song was freaking awesome (I’ll get into that later), the challenges were perfect, the clown designs for the main cast were amazing, etc. I’m just trying to get the negativity out first lol
But yeah ok, gotta get the elephant in the room out of the way first: what the trio chose to do with Puzzles was absolutely awful.
I was mostly shocked that Meggy seemed just totally ok with it considering SHE JUST SAW FIRSTHAND HOW ABUSED PUZZLES WAS??? She literally met his child self and saw how weary he was, how he flinched away from her touch like those are clear signs of abuse and it seems like Meggy should’ve known that
So why the frick didn’t she object? Mario is always doing stupid crap so that makes sense, but you would think Meggy or even SMG4 would do something???
But why is it abuse, you ask? Well, Puzzles has one major issue, and that’s that he has no friends. And then Meggy became friends with his child self, therefore logically setting him on the path to redemption. But obviously Puzzles has done some awful crap and should’ve been punished in some way, maybe something like having to stay exclusively in the showgrounds for a while until he shows improvement, with the gang there to support him (just came up with that off the top of my head lol). But you know what they decided was the best possible punishment for this man? Solitary freaking confinement. The punishment notorious for literally causing prisoners to go insane due to lack of interaction. And you just had to give that specific punishment to a man WHO LOST HIS FREAKING MIND AS A CHILD DUE TO LACK OF INTERACTION?? DO YALL SEE THE PROBLEM WITH THIS???
I’m not even mad that they did that, obviously it’s wrong but these are fictional characters making that decision, and characters can be misguided. You can have characters that literally violate everything on a basic dni list or something, characters can be evil. My issue is when it is glorified or romanticized. And that’s pretty much exactly what they’re doing here
Another line that came out of Meggy’s mouth that really hurt me was when she said that maybe he’d get better in there, stop being so obsessed with ratings…. is she stupid? The whole reason why this all started is because Puzzles was an abused child with no friends who basically hyperfixated on wanting to fulfill his dream of running a park (and later tv production as well) but was shut down by his father and isolated himself with a tv all day. Meggy had just managed to heal his inner child and see the good in him. And then they act like finally giving him what he needs to heal and then VIOLENTLY RIPPING IT AWAY FROM HIM AND LOCKING HIM IN A ROOM (MIGHT I ADD, LIKE HE DID AS A CHILD DUE TO TRUAMA, THERE IS NO WAY THIS ISNT BRINGING UP SOME GENUINE PTSD FROM HIM) IS GOING TO JUST MAGICALLY FIX HIM??? NO! AND THERE IS ZERO INDICATION IN THE MOVIE, NOT EVEN A HINT, THAT THE TRIO MIGHT BE IN THE WRONG.
I’m sorry, but this is abuse and also extreme neglect of what Puzzles needed to change.
And also, Puzzles being a villain doesn’t make any of this ok. Didn’t we already learn that with SMG3?? Villains that have clear issues like this can be reformed over time, it just takes work. But no, apparently they’re not gonna do that
Genuinely speaking: if they wanted betrayal via Mario, they should’ve had him just straight up kill Puzzles or something right then and there. Or keep the original story but have the others seem horrified of what Mario did.
Also that scene really should’ve been given more time to breathe, I know this is the haha funny Mario spaghetti show but that doesn’t excuse going from villain being likely reformed to villain being arrested and the park exploding in a matter of 5 god dang seconds. Sure that would’ve been funny if this was some random side character or minor reoccurring villain, but this was literally the man behind 3-4 arcs and the star of 2 more, and a clear fan favorite character. Even if he wasn’t gonna die, they should’ve treated it like Axol or One Shot Wren, where both the audience and characters are given time to mourn and see what was happening, see character reactions, all of that. Even a stupid line from a couple of the police officers would’ve worked perfectly. Just time to process what the frick just happened.
My only other issue besides, well, all that lmao, is that the actual movie was just nothing like the trailer, like there were scenes exclusively in the trailer and that felt really weird to me
Ok, negativity out of the way now :D
The song!!! I was kinda hoping for a rap but yeah this fit way better lol, haven’t seen anybody talk about it but the puzzles design with just the head and hands is freaking epic omgggg
Also I loved how the parts sung by the trio are kinda more akin to children’s movie songs (describing exactly what’s happening on screen, the sad “I know there’s good in you” part, etc) and then Puzzle’s parts are just hahaha I’m gonna freaking turn your corpses into gushing mounds of blood-
Also GGRRRR I WANT TO DRAW THE CLOWN DESIGNS SO BADDDD!!! THEYRE SO DANG COOL!!!
And also UGHHH THE MERCHHH I WANT IT SO BAD BUT IM B R O K E 😭
The challenges were also really fitting, didn’t see any users I recognized but those that got in were perfect
And no SMG34 fuel sadly :(, eh can’t always get the gay old men lol, maybe next time
And yeah this is my selfship blog so gotta let a few of the demons out:
THE FREAKING FACE HE MADE BEFORE ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!! IGNORING WHAT HAPPEN AFTER HE WAS SO GOD DANG CUTE AND I JUST WANTED TO HUG HIM AND CUDDLE HIM GRGGRGRGR HES SO DANG SILLY-
Anddd that’s about it! This post will probably get like, 2 notes but who tf cares!! I just needed to ramble a lot lol
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blackberrybuds · 2 months ago
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I don't want to call you out in the server but the stuff you post about in there is probably TMI. Nobody needs to hear about your bathroom problems it's gross. Also you projecting that onto characters like Kazutoshi and Nemoto is gross. It's something to maybe keep to yourself.
kamimura & nemoto Bathroom Issues headcanons for anon <3
kamimura
canonically has crohns so this one isnt a headcanon but teehee
he works pretty frequently and pretty far from home a lot of the time so he wears diapers because his anxiety makes having to worry about always being near a bathroom like 1000 times worse
lets be real hes a punk. he has probably shoplifted diapers more than once theyre just so damn expensive. how the hell is this guy gonna pay rent while paying like twenty-five bucks for a pack of diapers he'll go through in like a week
hasegawa keeps really good track of what he can and cant eat and looks over the menu at like every restaurant they go to in advance to make sure theres something kamimura can have that wont make him flare up
when kamimura is stuck in the bathroom for like hours at a time hasegawa will stay with him and hold his hand and keep him company
hasegawa gets super annoyed and confrontational whenever a business doesnt have accessible washrooms and its the only time kamimura ever sees him get worked up and start complaining to managers
wears diapers in the killing game which is the only reason he was able to manage being completely cut off from the bathrooms at night in chapter one
eventually ended up getting a stoma bag, was super nervous at first but it ended up being way less stressful and now he decks it out in cool stoma bag covers
wears so many layers because he's still shy about the bag and doesnt want anyone noticing it
genki
woah this one is canon too? hes canonically incontinent? crazy!!
started needing diapers around the middle of the crispr experiments after his digestive tract stopped working properly
dannake handles all his changes and is super super super careful with them because of how fragile is skin is, she's always very on-top of when he needs a change and keeps them on a very cohesive schedule
suga isn't allowed to change genki because genki asked him not to (canon) but he'll still do things like run out to the store to get things for dannake or make sure nobody bothers dannake and genki while she's changing him
genki is really bad at reading his own body signals now and will usually just get really worked up and upset when he needs a change without being able to properly articulate why, dannake and suga have both gotten super good at reading those signs though
genki was still semi-lucid when he started needing diapers and was really upset and embarrassed about it, dannake tried to normalize it for him by just talking about it super casually whenever it came up (because shes a very blunt person as we know) and it honestly sort of helped
also theyre both my best friends and we talk about diapers together all the time sorry anon we're all disabled and best friends and we hate u
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pixiecaps · 10 months ago
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no bc im not usually involved w stuff like this and believe everyone should be held accountable for their actions no matter what. but seeing the way quackity has been seen as non human, any emotion or misstep he has being seen as manipulative or fake is like crazy. i don’t understand how people don’t see like wait, your actually just being racist you are not capable of seeing him as a person, why? it feels like he really could’ve handled this perfectly and there still would be this large crowd regarding him as a heartless fraud??
truly. i have closely observed this situation and listened to both sides and theres a lot of different opinions that can co exist and theres a lot of complexity to them.
one particular thing that has bothered me and made me uncomfortable is the projection of quackity as this scheming conniving figure. its gross. him having to explain that hes had previous experiences like this where he keeps any sort of bad situation with another creator private and that in turn has made him perceived as more manipulative is so sad. and this isnt surprising obviously since this is something ive witnessed. but overall i think with the internet nowadays theres a large mindset that everything needs to be public information and shared with the audience while they preach to solve things in the dms. people only care for a show and to watch creators destroy themselves. thats what twitter is and what a lot of people actively strive to do on that platform. specifically in regards to leak communities.
everyone should be aware enough that theyre allowed to criticize quackity and the decisions he’s made that people may not agree with. he acknowledges that himself. but to paint him as anything other then human and someone who has deeply fucked up reaches that level where it is racism. i dont think many people quite realize micro aggressions when they see them. so theres that. and then theres obviously the extremes of the situation when it came to the doxxing and death threats. people actively celebrating and saying it surely is an okay thing to spread because well he fucked up right? hypocrisy. this goes the same way for any admin or worker involved the situation that has been sent and told the same.
this entire situation has proved to me that nobody knows how to properly handle anything or how to properly react to anything and choosing instead to immediately jump to those extremes mentioned in the name of activism and moral superiority.
anyways support the admins. listen to their stories. criticize media you consume in a constructive manner. call out xenophobia and racism when you see it. and treat people like the humans they are. they will all make mistakes each side has made a mistake. yes this also applies to the people in the community. think for more than a second before you post anything for fucks sake.
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ganondoodle · 7 months ago
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this isnt a call out for anyone; i keep getting asked why i even post my opinions on the internet if i dont want to argue whenever i mention how tired i am of people trying to argue with me or proof me wrong
and i just ... for one its bc there are people that have told me they like hearing my opinions bc it makes them feel less alone, its validating to hear that i am not alone and i make them feel less alone (this is a big reason)
then theres the thing .. do you feel good never saying your opinion on anything and just keeping everything to yourself? be it big or small, i tried to do that for years, just trying to crawl deeper and deeper into a hole bc clearly i am the problem and should be able to deal with everything on my own, never say anything, i could be annoying, i could be a burden, and it nearly killed me; i have very few friends and i already spam them enough to feel constantly guilty
and if i did that on some private account ... what use is that, thats the same thing as not saying anything, whats the use of saying anything when no one listens, even to select few, whats the point if others cant find it, there might be people i dont know at all that would find solace in hearing my stupid ramblings about games
its true i lack self control and just tend to talk about stuff when i feel the need of talking, but is that really so bad?
correct me if im wrong but i was never of the impression that posting something on the internet automatically means wanting to debate and argue unless you specifically say or initiate it on someone elses post? like thats why i pretty much always make my own post to complain and dont go on other peoples posts of opposing views, id view the latter as an invitation to argue moreso than the former
when i post some stupid opinion (im talking about harmless personal video game opinions mind you) on my own account who am i bothering, if people agree thats great! if they dont they can just move on- i know people love to discuss and share different opinions but the the ones i most often encounter are ones where its a basically trying to start a fight over whos more right (like theres always one correct opinion to have) or just telling me i am not allowed to feel like i feel-
im aware i cant expect everyone to be able to see a differeing opinion and move on without saying anything, but when i say something, unless its specifically a question, i just do it to vent, to let my thoughts out so they dont slowly gnaw at me, maybe find validation in others also thinking like that (i know i cant also expect everyone to think that way .. i just see it as a form of politeness? sorta?); in all honesty, i dont do it to get told opposing opinions (i know thats maybe a little ... idk, selfish i guess?) bc i usually have seen or heard those already and am saying mine bc i havent seen it before or very very little- what i think is often very much not the majority so the need to say something gets greater the more i see somethign i dont agree with, like an urge to balance it? a call to see if i am alone or not? and much less so to argue or debate over something like that, im tired and exhausted at all times, and have often trouble even getting myself to draw, i dont enjoy fights of any kind, and especialyl so when its about something so completely ignorable like a game opinion i only said bc i wanted it out of my head and bc i have seen that the majority seems to be of a different one
like a sticky note on a wall, not an invitation to a political meeting?
maybe this is something i need to work on and get better at, i havent found a way that lets me get rid of my thoughts in a way that doesnt leave me feeling guilty (like spamming my friends) or to gnaw at me (not saying anything, or somewhere no ones gonna hear it)
i know im incapable of shutting up ever (though at least i got a better control over my emotions by now) and i risk accidentally seeming like im inviting people to a fight but i dont know what else to do
maybe its something i horribly missunderstood about the internet, but its my only outlet for that, i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about my interests, maybe its a flaw that needs work, maybe its just a flaw, i dont know :/
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neflil · 2 months ago
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Haven't posted, or made anything really, in a while. So here is my Nomai oc as Yaelokre again cus I may or may not have remade the first 40 seconds of the harpy hare vid but with nomai ocs. Woops. Below for the usual rambling/catching up ig vv
Art block be tough huh. Gonna be honest- Things are weird lately and that really impacts my ability to be original and creative, I don't even want to try anymore but being on break for so long makes me sick. On one hand I want to draw, on the other I can't and I don't feel great. 🫠
But aye who cares Abt all that stuff, I'll bounce back eventually. On another note- nothing has really been going on! But I've been so busy with secret Santa's and gifts umu.... I have so many ideas to make I swear I'll get back. And I may or may not be planning an animatic... I dunnnoooo we'll see how things go.
I don't know.
This is my oc aerva! She's just full of whimsy and tells stories. Nothing much to her honestly but she's cool. The song harpy hare is one I've associated with her and her stories so I just.... Remade the first few scenes of it with the rest of the ocs that appear in her lore. She has travelled all over the universe and made friends with her ghosts. She sings and acts and tells stories, but also plays instruments! She's just- *there* y'know? No real job or occupation. She isnt supposed to stay afterall. Always on the move.
Oh and- league of legends brainrot is back full swing. And also arcane happened. Wowza I really need to yap Abt headcanons and make art don't i....
I really don't.
We are running out of time.
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the-s1lly-corner · 8 months ago
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CRP characters crushing on the reader 2/2
Placeholder opening here, check part 1 for the other characters! i dont usually write for zalgo because my take on him is... so... yeah... and hard to write for him, but the idea of this intangible godlike entity that can warp realities falling for someone is horrifying
Characters: Jane, Jeff, Ticci Toby, Nina, Bloody Painter, Zalgo
Notes: reader is GN but post mainly focuses on the canon characters, admin uses any pronouns for nina so if you see the pronouns swapping that's why!, heavy hcs for Zalgo and his part isnt really open for "it gets better and you guys get together" no his part is just... horrifying
CWs: zalgo is zalgo; ie non human entity does not follow human morals and is kind of... toxic and horrifying
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JANE
I need you guys to bare with me because this blog has always been hc/au heavy with how I write characters but between all the main crps, Jane is probably the most likely to just.. be a normal person 90% of the time, so the chances of you and her meeting during a normal day is pretty high. She's closed off so you don't even notice that there's feelings developing on her end. If there is a difference it's just her being slightly more affectionate and open to you. She becomes even more protective of you, can you blame her? You've heard of the rumors about her family... She doesn't deny her feelings if you ask her, though, so it's a clean confession when the time comes instead of it just being spilled or forced out.
JEFF
He's so full of himself that he approaches you without thinking anything through because he's so confident that you're going to just fall for him. Makes a lot of jokes with you, some darker than others. Flirts with you up front because once more, he's so confident that you're into him that he doesn't take a moment to consider that you would reject him. Probably takes rejection the worst, at least out of the characters on this list. And that's on being on the run since your mid teen years, he didn't interact with many people because of that. "Oh you dig me" as you slap his arm because he said something dumb.
TICCI TOBY
Very similar to the other proxies, watches you from afar but he decides to interact with you sooner than the other two. He's wary, because he doesn't want to humiliate himself or screw anything up but he's so so so desperate to meet someone new who's in his age range so he's doing his best to appeal to you. Sometimes slips up because he's trying too hard. He can pester you and get on your nerves, but he doesn't mean anything wrong by it... usually.. You outright ask him if he has a crush on you and you can see him internally scrambling for something to say. It's actually a little sweet. Probably the most normal out of them all asides Jane, at least by Creepypasta standards.
NINA
Oh she is so upfront about her feelings for you! Makes you small trinkets and keepsakes with random stuff she finds. Very quick to approach you as well and make a friendship. Very chill if you don't end up returning their feelings, and more than happy to keep up a friendship with you if you want that. A yapper, too, so they have a habit of keeping you by keeping a conversation up and alive longer than others would. Custom kandi for you as well, with your favorite colors and some stuff they know you like! As an aside, Nina is a "cringe fandom enjoyer", so you guys can get into the same things and be cringe and free together! Not related to this post but have it as a bonus!
BLOODY PAINTER
He finds himself drawing you more than he draws his other subjects, and honestly its a little frustrating. You start finding some of his papers laying around. He approaches you so he can try to get even more accurate with his art, having the real thing as a reference is much better than relying off of memories of you wandering around town. Once the initial tenseness dies down, you might be able to get a few words out of him while he's drawing. "Muse of an artist" trope, a lot of the things he makes are dedicated to you in one way or another. His art is the only real tip that there's something going on, because otherwise he's good about swallowing and hiding his emotions.
ZALGO
Bonus character, Zalgo would literally alter the universe if he could to ensure that you're there and his. He can manipulate media, and create creatures.. I mean in my au he's literally the reason half the creepypastas exist... I WAS going to make a joke that he makes a stand in to act for him, but he's so into you that he can't stand the idea of someone else being with you... doesnt matter if he was living vicariously through it. Genuine psychological horror elements here with him warping the world around you in an attempt to get your attention and to get you to come to him. Technical cosmic / otherworldly horror (?) because he's something that transcends just about everything in universe. Simultaneously everywhere at anytime all the time, there is no real way to get away from him. Horrifying stuff.
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tortillakitten · 1 month ago
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just finished my first playthough of In Stars and Time this game has held me at gunpoint for the past 25 hours
started playing it yesterday at 3 am and now its 4 am today, literally could not put it down i just had to know what was going to happen next it was so captivating (the adhd said "no sleep for you sorry") such an incredible game highly recommend as long as you know what you're getting into (this game gets really dark and has a lot of stuff that could be incredibly triggering for some people)
amazing characters, they were so lovable
siffrin's inner monolouge felt so raw and real. I'd get into more detail but I want to keep this spoiler free
this isnt what i usually post (not that I post much whoops) but its 4 am and ive been awake for like 38 hours and i needed to rant
blame the typos on the sleep deprivtion
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