#theres no reason we have to keep it going
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sending strength because having to write the f1 post sounds hard to say the least
just a thanks abt the f1 post though, it's the reason I passed my driving test
(I nearly hit a Mclaren then went OOO Mclaren then my driving examiner simped for lando for 40 minutes and I knew enough F1 to keep it going so I think we became friends so she ignored??? The fact I hit two kerbs and nearly a mclaren)
anyway uh end up in the uk watch out becaus I am on the roads
adding that to the list of weird things this blog has made happen irl
-helped user huntingforstardust to get their license
-got several people boyfriends
-got at least one person engaged
-helped someone buy an engagement ring
-whatever the hell that telletubbie fanfic thing with the guy named owen was
-taught at least a few people georgraphy
-got that one girl pregnant
-theres a lot more i just cant remember it
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I just love you and the positivity you and LB bring to this fandom. I've tried so many times to be active in this fandom but I've always quickly backed off because of how judge-y and toxic a lot of people act.
Genuinely, jokes aside, I'm sorry you feel that way. I think it can feel really daunting if you come in and look around at all the fighting but truly, it's just a small (but loud) minority of people who act that way. The VAST majority of folks in every ship are very normal, nice, and here to vibe. Even if they don't multiship and are just passionate about their OTP, I've found people to be welcoming and generous.
I think most of us just want to make our jokes, talk about the things we're excited for, our theories, headcanons, art/fic and make friends. One of the first things I did when I got here was just blocked people that never had anything nice to say and were fighting more than they were doing anything else, and now LB and I will see the remnants of drama from four days earlier like...something cursed happened here...but we did not witness it.
And I feel like if you just get in with the right people, that's the vast majority of peoples experience, too. I know I sound crotchety telling people to stop taking the bait and ignore people who are obviously operating in bad faith, but its the only way to sustain yourself. Otherwise you get too burned out, too frustrated and you have to leave before you wear yourself to nothing
#people act like bloomsbury created the shipping war but even if they did (lets pretend)#theres no reason we have to keep it going#i dont care about BB's profit margins and im not going to participate because i dont get off making other people feel bad#nor is my whole identity this one ship
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I'm sorry but the irony of Nico calling Max unprofessional is sending me so bad like sir there's an entire garage full of people, who were literally in the trenches trying to survive the Brocedes fallout while just doing their jobs, who might have a few things to say about your (& Lewis') level of professionalism at that time 😭✋️
#f1#formula 1#formula one#max verstappen#nico rosberg#lewis hamilton#brocedes#like niki lauda had to try multiple times to literally parent trap them to try and get them on speaking terms it never worked#because one would arrive they'd see the other and the other would leave#& if i remember correctly the garage crew would swap around from race to race as a like see we aren't favouring anybody gesture 😭#and thats no shade to nico because it was both of them contributing to that environment#his comment re max is just making me laugh#like if i was a part of the pr/media team - which is a part of the degree I'm working on irl - at merc that year i would've lost the plot#like its insane reflecting on it nearly a decade later but the poor souls just trying to do their job in the eye of that storm#truly gods strongest soldiers#ngl the professional comment irks me a bit because its not like max is engaging in inappropriate work place behaviour#he's engaging in another aspect of racing that his involvement raises awareness of & that makes racing more accessible#& we all know how inaccessible not only getting into racing is but also to continue to pursue the further along you go#theres so many stories of 1 sibling giving up racing so the other can keep going because the family can't afford for them both to race#its a huge financial strain & we only see a handful of drivers talk about that & try to do something to change it#and nicos fellow sky sports commentators are routinely unprofessional on so many levels#additionally max had a lot of valid reasons to be annoyed at his team today#but alas he's not english so he's ungrateful#i hate that drivers can't criticise their teams or car without immediately being branded as bratty & ungrateful#ESPECIALLY WHEN THEIR JOB IS TO GIVE FEEDBACK#you can see the double standards from sky when say Lando or George have complaints with their team/car v the likes of Max and Yuki#especially Yuki my god the things i would do to get the British media to leave him alone#this was a jokey post at one point and then became a rant whoops lmao#I'll leave it that before i write an actual essay here 😭✋️
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totally normal about the 'wedding?' response continuing to evolve even though it's only been 5 shows. at this point i'm convinced the grand plan behind tit is to convince dan via exposure therapy that he's allowed to want to get married
#going from being afraid of commitment and anti-traditional to not doing it because of spite and pettiness about peoples' expectations...#it's not weak to want it dan. you dont 'lose' simply bc our desire for you comes true#the only reason we *want* it is bc we want you to be happy#and while yes thats tied up in tradition for a lot of us. and theres a lot to unpack there about society and norms and whatnot.#it's rooted in this deep want for you to get your happy ending. and while life doesnt *end* after marraige.#it's a hell of a fuck you to everyone who thought you couldnt make it. it's a hell of a fuck yeah as a celebration of how far you've come#it means the walls you built to keep yourself safe. that maybe have started to feel claustrophobic these past 5 years. can come down.#idk. its up to you to decide.#imo it all comes back to that same thing. dan wants something. but he cant have it bc what will society say about him for wanting it?#so he has to play it down and partake in this convoluted dance to say he doesnt want it thatd be ridiculous#and then folds anyway. bc denial only lasts so long when desire is strong. and it feels like he should be punished for liking it#yk how wad was about carving the words into his head that we get to live? this is like him hearing over and over we want good things for him#titspoilers#dnp#c.text#dan and phil#phan#dnptit
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OWWWWWW
#OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW#Im trying to gather my thoughts…. I have a head ache………………#im so embarassed i had to use the walk through to help me out towards the end…. I thought I got stronger since the last game#but Im gullible as fuck your honor#also my working memory isnt the best so even though I took notes on everyones train of thought in the trial#the changing theories and what we currently assume is true and isnt is really hard to keep track of!!!!!!!!!!#I thought I had the answer to one of the most important questions but I was wrong TWICE and I only had a little bit of health left#for the rest of the trial ;w;#it was also hard for me to understand godots motive since he would have no reason to stab Ami but I forgot that when spirit mediums#channel ppl their appearance changes to match the spirit.. so I guess it does make sense he didnt think of that when he was focused on#getting revenge against dahlia. damn#UGH I NEED TO PLAY THE FIRST GAME I feel like theres still so much background im missing#the DL-6 incident came up and I only know a few details abt what happened but it was nicely tied to the case#like edgeworths trauma around earthquakes and how that gave time for iris and dahlia to switch#it gives me a headache to think abt them swapping places and who was doing what though#but still really cool#im going to be thinking abt this for days#aa3 playthru#aa3 spoilers#ace attorney#aa#trials and tribulations#yapping
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adding onto my last rant from a while ago a little bit, it is fascinating how many people in this fandom completely miss the point of tsumugis character and misconstrue what hes actually about which, ironically, is just what eichi did. and its done in such a similar fashion too, such as making assumptions about his motives, his family relationship, and missing the point in why he chooses to look the way he does. and, time and time again, eichi has been proven to be WRONG about tsumugi. he misunderstood him deeply, and now its eichi whos stuck mourning the past while tsumugi has long since moved on, not the other way around, as tsumugi is on the path of getting his happy ending. and i dont get why people keep trying to take this positivity from him
(s. element epilogue 2)
#sorry for harping on this stuff alot it just genuinely sucks seeing a character you love be so widely misunderstood#especially when if you really think about it#tsumugi is about as blunt and honest as they come#you dont always need to read deeper into a character. you dont always need to psychoanalyze every part of them#you dont need to reason everything#sometimes people just Are Some Kind Of Way#and eichi failed to understand that and made the wrong assumption about tsumugi#and i feel like this fandom keeps doing the same thing#because he can do and say unconventional things#and when he makes jokes he sounds super alarming or like an utter freak#its frustrating when people continuously doubt tsumugis words when he speaks so earnestly about his life#hes honest to a fault. he has no reason to lie#you can argue that “ohhh tsumugi just doesnt realize how fucked up he is!” and like Yea sure theres an element of that#but ive always read the point of his character to be him overcoming these hardships#because he cares so fucking deeply about every single person around him#and he never assumes malice. because he is such a genuinely kind hearted guy#and what makes tsumugi so interesting is that he can kind of SUCK at getting that across#because no matter what people never understand his actions or intents because of how weirdly he acts#and neither does this fandom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#natsume and tsumugi are built on being opposites. if natsume is a known liar surely we can put two and two together?#theres alot more that can be said on this topic and ive been meaning to for a while but honestly i just dont have the energy or brainpower#also i dont want this to read like im yucking anyones yum. its just frustrating as someone who is very mentally ill about these characters#he has clearly endured traumas too like im not ignoring that. its super obvious. but his character is about love and growth#you can go through literal HELL and be on the brink of SUICIDE and still end up a happy loving and forgiving person#and i think thats what his character is about#nat rambles#nats enst posting
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"dont put 1634 back together" "mitch is playing out of his mind without him" blah blah blah none of the 5v5 lines theyve been running have been consistently good, mitch is lighting it up on the powerplay, and mitch and auston continually put up career numbers next to each other. eat shit, half of you sound like actual middle aged men with a hateful hard on. nothing you say is based in logic or numbers whatsoever, lmao. also if auston's injured/it's lingering, you put him with a man who is playing out of his mind, thanks. don't need a defensively mid top line with an injured goal scoring center getting top matchups. and if he's NOT injured, then he can start sinking the 379238 chances he got before his ir.
#like.... most of mitchs shit coming on the powerplay so true...#jt is also kinda playing out of his mind but its not just with mitch so !#use ur brains#saw someone say mitch shoots more without auston on his line n its proven rn like actually its statistically not#grow the fuck uppp you all are such crybabies and u know whats happening when am34 comes back#'drive ur own line' bullshit i thought u were allsaying willy did that shit. HDJJDSJ LIKEEE GET A GRIP THERES ONLY SO MUCH TIME IN A GAME T#GO AROUND#fucking annoying ass ppl who dont even know puck and just fall for hateful nonsensical talk all the time#do u have any opinions that arent just . mitch n auston shouldnt play together bc i personally hate it and say so#no other team has ppl constantly begging to split up one of the most consistent pairs of players like the leafs do lmfao#theres a reason coaches go back to it time n time again thank u#ur dumbassery isnt catching on to smth they dont know lmfao#got so consumed w talking to ppl that actually understand this sport i forgot ppl on this site like actually just dont know puck fhjdjd#and 233416 looked very good even without am34 sinking his chances so :) . sorryr but if mitch has been dominating special teams/situations#with the lines in a blender and domi centering him most of this time. i think putting him back on austons wing will only imprrove our 5v5#now keeping am34 off powerrplay/who should be out on a 3v3 situation is actually the discussion we should be having but sure.
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your failteacher yuri AU is so so good. what's so frustrating about persona is that it has plenty of good ideas and characters that get absolutely wasted or mishandled by the actual narrative… like these two teachers. you write them with so much more respect than the games ever did. keep it up!
so as a general rule i don't tend to respond to this Genre of comment or really even enjoy it--as far as my own personal feelings r concerned, "you do [x] better than [source]" (in whatever ways it's phrased) is Not a compliment--but in this instance i gotta say it. they fucked up so bad and it makes me so madJDBHJJNSDB
so... just this once... i'll salute you... im at least glad people like my work and r enjoying a whiff of my beloved women without atlus sabotage ✊
i've said before that p3 hermit and p5 temperance are my favorite links--p5 temperance especially i think is really tight and has an interesting foundation. the actual narrative glue holding that thing together is strong. like the THING is that i don't have to go out of my way to find interesting and compelling material here (and i certainly don't have to make it up from whole cloth or anything)
i would hate for people to have the impression that i'm spinning this all out of nothing or that i hold the source In Contempt or whatever. obviously my concept/inciting incident is zany (haha) and i've added or tweaked a lot of smaller things to better facilitate this specific AU, but this story wouldn't have nearly the legs it does without the genuinely good material they put in those links, and i wouldn't bother making it at all if i didn't seriously love those characters...
...which i guess is kinda what makes it doubly frustrating... that in both cases they've just kind of stapled on some gross stuff that adds nothing (aside from ick factor of course) and doesn't fit with the rest... when "the rest" is genuinely compelling. not only is it a bad move on its own but also it drags down the otherwise good material around itself which is always annoying, yknow... like if it was Just All Bad i would at least be FREE 😭
anyway it's whatever it's whatever . i want to draw a chapter where they talk about their Deep Baggage sooo bad. and i can be like Look. Normal Hermit. Welcome To My Twisted Mind. Or Whatever
#WE DREAM OF THE “NORMAL HERMIT” LORE CHAPTER WHERE I EXORCISE MY PERSONAL DEMONS#my only solace is p5 temperance has the platonic route as per the New Rules. so at least theres that....would recommend doing that one....#my personal demon on the other hand is that bc p3 hermit doesn't have a “dating resolution” anyway they didnt touch it in reload. GET ME OU#i guess—to look on the positive side—that makes it easy to excise huh. one's an inferior optional route and one's utterly inconsequential#like they just did that for NO reason. unrelated to EVERYTHING else in ANY part of the link. IT MAKES ME SO... [audio fades out]#i gotta keep this project going until Normal Hermit Explained at LEAST... so i can pass away peacefully#sorry . i promise one day i will stop bitching about persona. but nobody bitches about persona more than persona fans i guess HBRBHDJK
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Lightning, water, and fire! Like forever before the plot starts. By the time the plot starts, the lightning and fire deities have been subjected to punishment by the two gods that picked them.
Oh (the fire deity) is first to be punished. They basically decide that since they're going to live for a long time, gotta set some long time goals! And they opt to be the wrath of the gods since most of the other deities are too 'soft' in their opinion. So Oh just. Smites humans. This isn't really a /good/ thing and in their defense mentally, they do it to help Ymber since he's the softest of them all. So their punishment by the gods is to be split in two, effectively halving the power of one into two. (Now they are in a male and a female body and use both male and female pronouns apart since they together make they but apart it feels weird to be they. But prior to the split they use they/them. Also the split bodies go by the names Ohiwe and Ohime.)
Fulj is the second to be punished. She falls in love with a mortal woman and that is a crime according to the gods. Mortals and immortals are not to be together and it will only bring suffering to both sides. So her punishment is her memories of the woman are stripped and her body basically broken to the point she can't remain physical all the time.
Ymber, unfortunately, is the one who blames himself for the discoveries and punishments. If he had only tried to restrain Oh more then maybe they would have chilled out and stopped before being punished. If he had only tried to persuade Fulj to not continue seeing the mortal woman so often perhaps she wouldn't have been punished. So he's just increasing the guilt on his shoulders every day that he remains unpunished since the elder gods have both laid down to rest. They can't enforce their laws anymore and none of the deities are keen on harming one another at this point. They just want to continue existing in peace.
#the daily life of a deity sucks#and then ymber falls in love with a human and is like welp this sucks and i understand fulj now#i also would have accepted the punishment for this#and fulj doesnt even remember the woman she was punished for and doesnt remember how she was before#so she is like hey ymber please just go and kiss the weird human i dont even like him but youre being mean by not kissing him#and ymber is just having the worst time of his life being encouraged by someone who used to be so happy#who he also encouraged to be happy once upon a time#also ohiwe and ohime pop up in the water city to bully ymber sometimes but its still in the way of#dude we like you please grow a spine its been a thousand years please grow a backbone and tell us to piss off#and he never tells them to piss off#also fulj has a long braid here but you cant really see it#and she loves to braid ymbers hair and he gets to braid hers when shes giggling and chatting about love#and a short while after the punishment fulj chops the braid off and ymber is like welp my friend is officially gone#and then he cuts his own hair and leaves to go develop his city alone in seclusion#and he sometimes just cuts it really short because hes still sad and soggy and thinks of fulj braiding his hair#and then she shows up one day when hes debating how long its getting and she smiles#and tells him he looks good with longer hair#so he kinda keeps it a messy short then it gets to be medium and he decides he can survive with medium but he couldnt do long again#but once again fulj is the reason for his life choices (and guilt)#also before anyone asks yes all the deities have a collar#its very important actually that they are collared its lore information thanks#and for what it matters - after oh is split both forms are just as tall#theres just two of them at half power but they are both tall
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"You'll come back," Manon said.
It sounded like more of a threat than anything
Dorian smirked. "Would you miss me if I didn't?"
Manon didn't reply. He didn't know why he expected her to.
He'd taken all of a step, when Asterin clasped his shoulder. "In and out, quick as you can," she warned him. "Take care of Narene." Worry indeed shone in the Second's gold-flecked black eyes. Dorian bowed his head. "With my life," he promised as he approached her mount and grasped the dangling reins. He didn't fail to miss the gratitude that softened Asterin's features. Or that Manon had already turned away from him.
A fool to start down this path with her. He should have known better.
The hours that passed were some of the longest of Manon's existence.
From anticipation, she told herself. Of what she had to do.
Abraxos, unsurprisingly, found them within an hour, his reins sliced from the struggle he'd no doubt waged and won with Sorrel. He waited, however, beside Manon in silence, wholly focused upon the gate where Dorian and Narene had vanished.
Time dripped by. The king's sword was constant weight at her side. She cursed herself for needing to prove-to him, to herself-that she refused to let him go into Morath for practical, ordinary reasons. Erawan wasn't at the Ferian Gap. It'd be safer. Somewhat. But if the Matrons were there … That was why he'd gone. To learn if they were. To see if Petrah truly commanded the host there, and how many Ironteeth were present. He had not been trained as a spy, but he'd grown up in a court where people wielded smiles and clothes like weapons. He knew how to blend in, how to listen. How to make people see what they wished to see. She'd sent Elide into the dungeons of Morath, Darkness damn her. Sending the King of Adarlan into the Ferian Gap was no different.
It didn't stop her breath from escaping when Abraxos stiffened, scanning the sky. As if he heard something they couldn't.
And it was the joy that sparked in her mount's eyes that told her.
Moments later, Narene sailed toward them, making a lazy path over the mountains, a dark-haired, pale-skinned rider atop her. He'd truly been able to change parts of himself. Had made his face nearly unrecognizable. And kept it that way.
Asterin rushed toward the mare, and even Manon blinked as her Second threw her arms around Narene's neck. Holding her tight. The mare only leaned her head against Asterin's back and huffed.
Manon hadn't dwelled long on what she'd say.
And as the three hundred Ironteeth witches filed into the hall, some coming off their patrols, Manon half wondered if she should have. They watched her, watched the Thirteen, with a wary disdain.
Their disgraced Wing Leader; their fallen Heir.
When all were gathered, Petrah, still standing in the doorway where she'd appeared, merely said, "My life debt for an audience, Blackbeak."
Manon swallowed, her tongue as dry as paper. Seated atop Abraxos, she could see every shifting movement in the crowd, the wide eyes or hands gripping swords.
"I will not tell you the particulars of who I am," Manon said at last. "For I think you have already heard them."
"Crochan bitch," someone spat.
Manon set her eyes on the Blackbeaks, stone-faced where the others bristled with hatred. It was for them she spoke, for them she had come here.
jacket, then hoisting up her white shirt. Rising in the stirrups to bare her scarred, brutalized abdomen. "She does not lie."
UNCLEAN
There, the word remained stamped. Would always be stamped.
"How many of you," Asterin called out, "have been similarly branded? By your Matron, by your coven leader? How many of you have had your stillborn witchlings burned before you might hold them?"
The silence that fell now was different from before. Shaking shuddering.
Manon glanced at the Thirteen to find tears in Ghislaine's eyes as she took in the brand on Asterin's womb. Tears in the eyes of all of them, who had not known. And it was for those tears, which Manon had never seen, that she faced the host again.
"You will be killed in this war, or after it. And you will never see our homeland again."
"What is it that you want, Blackbeak?" Petrah asked from the archway.
"Ride with us," Manon breathed. "Fly with us.
Against Morath. Against the people who would keep you from your homeland, your future." Murmuring broke out again. Manon pushed ahead, "An Ironteeth-Crochan alliance. Perhaps one to break our curse at last."
Again, that shuddering silence. Like a storm about to break Asterin sat back in the saddle, but kept her shirt open.
"The choice of how our people's future shall be shaped is yours," Manon told each of the witches assembled, all the Blackbeaks who might fly to war and never return. "But I will tell you this." Her hands shook, and she fisted them on her thighs. "There is a better world out there. And I have seen it."
Even the Thirteen looked toward her now.
"I have seen witch and human and Fae dwell together in peace. And it is not weakness to do so, but a strength. I have met kings and queens whose love for their kingdoms, their peoples, is so great that the self is secondary. Whose love for their people is so strong that even in the face of unthinkable odds, they do the impossible."
Manon lifted her chin. "You are my people. Whether my grandmother decrees it so or not, you are my people, and always will be. But I will fly against you, if need be, to ensure that there is a future for those who cannot fight for it themselves. Too long have we preyed on the weak, relished doing so. It is time that we became better than our foremothers." The words she had given the Thirteen months ago. "There is a better world out there," she said again. "And I will fight for it." She turned Abraxos away, toward the plunge behind them. "Will you?"
Manon nodded to Petrah. Eyes bright, the Heir only nodded back. They would be permitted to leave as they had arrived: unharmed.
So Manon nudged Abraxos, and he leaped into the sky, the Thirteen following suit.
Not a child of war. But of peace.
#Dorian Havilliard#Manon Blackbeak#Chapter 43#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#1st read-readW me-read along-no spoilers please-chapter spoilers in the post&tag+more notes/quotes/ reacts/annotations/etc-ordinary dagger#would be his only weapon-and the magic in his veins-If I don't come back he said while she tied the ancient blade2her keys must go2Terrasen#the only place he could think of-even if Aelin wasn't ther2take them-them u'll come back Manon said It sounded like more of a threat than#Dorian smirked Wouldumiss me if I didn't-Take care of Narene Worry indeed shone in the 2nd gold-flecked black eyes-A fool2start down this#pathW her He should have known better-hours that passed were some of the longest of Manon's existence-Time dripped byKings sword a weight at#her sideShe cursed herself4needing2prove-2him2herself-that she had-she refused2let him go in2Morath4practical ordinary reasons Erawan wasnt#Ferian Gap Itd b safer Somewhat-He had not been trained as a spy but hed grown up in a court where people wielded smiles&clothes like weapon#He knew how2blend in how2listenHow2make people see what they wished2see-She'd sent Elide in2the dungeons of Morath-Darkness dam her it didnt#s2p her breath from escaping when Abraxos stiffened scanning the skyAs if he heard something they couldn't-& it was the joy that sparked in#her mounts eyes that2ld her-Asterin rushed2ward the mare&even Manon blinked as her 2nd threw her arms around Narenes neck Holding her tight-#Their disgraced Wing Leader; their fallen Heir-It was4them she spoke4them she had come here-Crochan bitch-hell no that's a witch queen-She#doesnt lie-UNCLEAN There the word remained stamped Would always bstamped How many of U-silence that fell now was different from be4 shaking#shuddering-Tears in the eyes of all of them who hadnt known&it was4those tears which Manon had never seen that she faced the host againManon#ifted her chin u are my people-Whether my gr&mother decrees it so or notuare my people&always will bBut I will fly againstuif need B2ensure#theres future4those who cannot fight4it themselves2o long have we preyed on the weak relished doing so It is time that we became better than#our4emothers-words shes given the13-Theres a better world out there she said again-& I will fight4it She turned Abraxos away2ward the plunge#behind them Will u-their if u die ill kill u vibe-ugh obviouslyulove each other just get over it-warned hum-my life-gratitude even softened#the witch-Shapeshifter-bye bluebell birdie-His ice-the Valg-just this once-if it keeps them alive then good enough-him&Vesta-terse-dont let#Aelin go4them either please-& the magic in his veins-his true weapon is smarts-come back-she cared her eyes say it all-Wmy life-not a fool#just in love-colds their middle name-her waiting😭-Lys would bproud of his skill-joy in wyverns is giving cuz she screamed4U like I did-Petra#their fallen Heir-a life debt-yes I had2switch2short dashes there’s just2o much going on all the time-4 them she spoke2gather2save-Asterin b#b-made-are monsters born or maid chicken egg wyvern solved-only queen-k how old r they-glory-always-my bb13crying2gether now imma cry-ur#Future is giving a better world vibes-I have seen it-a good queen-real love-u are my people-yes Manon speech-not a child of war but of peace#Manorian#The Thirteen
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#i needed some minutes to get my thoughts together but this is a more cohesive ... thing of what i feel? idk#i feel like theres just no balance. obvs they debuted at a difficult time and it wouldve been hard to push it back bc of the members etc#its either theyre ignored (quite literally) or they get fucked over. why is there no balance between keeping their essence and also promo#like its SM's fucking fault that they didnt reach their actual potential. and it's their fault on how they handled lu/as' scandal.#if you weren't going to add him back to the group. why did you waste almost two years of their time for no reason? i just dgi. it always#makes me feel sad to see that clip of ten spoiling phantom at a kick back stage. they had their next cb planned like... idek#i feel from omy onwards when they shifted under prism. theyve had a different sound and their focus feels just on the kn audience#which is WILD. they have 127 and dream as it is. and it was a wayv song that got cn banned from being sung on national tv so... ?#sm wants cn money but no effort with their cn group. and this comeback has just pissed me off ngl. i like the songs and the aes but what#is the aim? what audience are we trying to cater to? krn? global? cn? okay. you fucked up in the past but look at what the fans are saying#what they like. phantom was their cb and it broke records. personal and otherwise. why arent we sticking to this? why arent are there no cn#bsides. and ill never forgive them for blaming wayv and kun. i really never will.#and about the sc situation. i think he can do as he pleases and im happy with whatever he picks. but the purposeful sabotaging of wayv & him#shifting the dates so he cant participate. .. SM you'll implode by my hand i promise. and then his fans coming to shit on wayv like they#personally told him not to participate. ridiculousness from both sides.#i don't think its that hard to experiment but also stay with what was liked originally. if theyre a chinese group. give them some cn songs.#to add on. i personally believe they shifted the dates bc lu/as debut was a complete money waste and they desperately needed another avenue.#egg.co
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yapping about him again again but IN REFERENCE 2 THIS FIC, i imagine rame unclipping the silver charms in his braid to style ev's hair like it is in the screenshot
#something something ''i would give you the clothes off my back you need not ask''#but it's ''let me put my clips in ur hair as a token of my affection (platonic or not)''#''take a part of me with you if you'll have me''#also at the risk of sounding mega insane theres also some commentary to be made about their metal motifs#we always see ev in gold. i was going through all her outfits and the hardware detailing in all her fits are gold#in all of ramesses' outfits -- silver plays a big part in his colour palette#and this is pretty consistent UNTILLLL you get to the more recent episodes#when rame comes back after running away with rem#the hardware accents (trim and jewellery and everything) in his new outfit are GOLD (sans the rings he always wears)#and while there are muuultiple reasons as to why this could be#id like to believe it's his way of keeping evthys with him#they had always found comfort in each other#distance would not change that#+++ in the most recent chapter you get the option to match with your li#and eva's rame option HAS HER WEARING SILVER ACCENTSSS#if you have the sprites side by side it literally looks like yin and yang#evthys is as much a part of rame#as rame is a part of her#i could keep going but i literally sound like an insane person rn so im capping it here#sorry if u made it this far
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Really into the episode of Ouran where this girl confesses her love to Mori but he doesn’t feel the same because he’s into Honey and the girl’s reaction is just like YIPPEE I LOVE YAOI THATS SO COOL FOR YOU YAY 🥰
#the klock keeps ticking#ouran high school host club#i watched ouran when i was 13 and repressed ah the classic experience yes yes#and i always said id rewatch but never did. until now cuz im going through something#im like halfway through and yeah id say theres quite a lot that ages like milk lol#like mostly just the way haruhi is treated is just. bad lol#a good thing is i like how haruhi personally feels about their own gender where they really honestly dont fucking care#which was a big relief cuz similar cases will have the ‘secret girl’ character either be really defensive#or you know. be like a naoto where its actually just the most uncomfortable thing ever#but the problem is the way that tamaki and occasionally the twins are like really obsessed with the girl thing#and constantly want haruhi to take on a feminine role cuz that wouldnt threaten their sexuality as much#tamaki in general is written so fucking weird lol and i do remember being based back then and hating him#and i never liked him with haruhi like im sorry hes just the worst option#hes capable of being funny when hes not being weird but I think he still ends up feeling horribly written#like when hes having his DRAMATIC LOVE INTEREST moments they just feel so horribly out of place#and theyre often times just badly aged tropes also the way haruhi is written in relation to the other members is weird#like i can see why theyd like the other characters but ive not really seen any reasons for them to like tamaki#but then the show will just randomly be like ‘oh yes haruhi thinks tamaki is a lovely person’ and its like. ooookay?#its ass lol and im probably preaching to the choir but like. haruhi is way better with a woman right?#i just know some desperate ass bastards have made some haruhi/renge content and i get it#other than that stuff i dont like i will say i enjoy what exists outside of the weird haruhi stuff#i like the characters and the concept is very funny and the episodes where everyone is normal are charming#and you know i gotta appreciate it for the impact it had on lame ass gay people even if the queer content is messy#ouran was just like. what we had for a long time. or at least was the most popular anime that featured queerness in some positive capacity#but also like. as it goes with this stuff once youve gotten to see better representation#you look back and youre like wow. im so fucking glad we can do better than this dogshit 😩
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i love seeing (certain) people bitch about parasites and its like. yeah. now youre rousing the urge to infect you with them
#n a s t y thing to say out loud. I actually have 0 problems and in fact heavily endorse education on malicious spirits and even just...#general dangers that dont come from malicious acts. i know imposters exist Ive dealt with them. I know... insert five million things.#but theres a deep-rooted instinct in me when people start bitching about Lower Beings and Demons and Things That Feed Off You#not as what they are - higher than you are on the food chain - but as mindless gross parasites to be squashed Below you...#I have parasites as a function of myself. Would you like to feel the Static? This isnt about or directed loosely at the random person i saw#I dont know if they were like (what I have an issue with) or coming from that angle. its not about them this is a general thought#that i was reminded of. Have you considered there is an environment and that things like bacteria and insects and so on have#an integral place in the recycling of the universe - as well as /keeping you alive/? have you considered that just because something#will eat you and especially eat what you naturally give off... that doesnt make them an Evil Demon? Have you considered youre#just not the top dog of the universe. god's favourite. where everything else around you exists to be eaten by you or turned#into buildings and concrete to house you or trained and domesticated to protect you and so on. Have you considered#that maybe what you call parasites arent biologically evil things to be eradicated. Heres the thing - and the reason this isnt about the#person who triggered this thought train to move - I think you should bite what bites you. I think you have every right to kill a spirit#that harms you and eat them and chew them up (like I'd do to you if it was inverted). Life is like that. We eat and are eaten. We also#suffer and long to have that lifted. But when people go onnn and onnnn and onnnnnnnn about Demons and these programmed entities#that apparently just refuse to be nice and have fallen to temptation and to feeding off you because theyre abusive (and...#simultaneously. mindless.)... haha. would you like to get to know actual parasites? because the Sky is like that.#you hold its oxygen in your veins it's your choice if you want me to trigger the Choir singing inside you. and thats not even talking about#the Static I mentioned.#ramblings //#either way. Things will feed off you yes. Do warn people about it. Spirits are like everything in the animal kingdom and earth's ecosystems#- complex. Not human-serving. Not bound to your ideas of morals. Sometimes incredibly violent and abusive and traumatic and malicious.#but my godddd shut up about how youre love and light and that attracts Evil Demons like yes. Your food is beautiful to the fruit fly#but maybe nature doesnt operate off your self-centred morality complex. You are not the centre of their universe
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#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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yeah I'm not gonna talk abt it am I...
#well thats okay. eventually itll come up naturally. and if not well. it doesnt make me feel very okay. but its not a big deal#and i guess ill meet ppl in the future who will curate a different idea of me and maybe therell be fewer misunderstandings#<- coward who CAN communicate to save their life but not in any lower stakes situation for their happiness n quality of life#we <3 repression n insecurity. maybe if i keep digging at the corner of this bit of the labyrinth with my spoon ill get out someday 😌#anyway.. theres my daily vague vent post got it out of my system#wanted to do it earlier but ended up not having much time after work n then called friends which was nice :^)#also i never have signal at work these days.. my boss has said shell get me on the staff wifi tho cuz i do need it for work reasons#its rare to need it for work purposes bc we all use work pcs n stuff anyway and not rly supposed to use mobiles in the lab#but yeahh.. god i have so much admin shit to sort out also gotta text family back before i sleep i forgot to earlier#its all good.. also my memory foam pillows turned up so i no longer have to steal my roomies extra one for my neck pain <3#ik she was missing it... not to sound like a creep but it was nice that it smelled like her a little. just familiar innit#we're always around each other so its just what being home smells like to me.. listen i have a sensitive nose 😔✋️#if we were a lot closer i would ask if i could sleep in her bed while shes away but we're not so it would come across sooo weird..#and i would feel rly weird abt someone sleeping in my own room without me there. well maybe not actually. as long as they werent snooping#<- guy whose mother used to go thru their shit all the time n struggles to not feel paranoid and distrustful when it comes to privacy#was thinking recently my ideal living situation w a partner would be separate rooms but we still share the bed sometimes#but not every night bc im a sensitive sleeper... but we can switch bedding so i can still smell them if i wake up in the night alone#like how new mothers trying to get babies used to cot sleeping each have a cloth or blanket and swap every night#so the baby is comforted by the blankets smell and sleeps more peacefully.. and momma finds it easier being apart from the baby too#sorry this is getting gooey and weird my meds have been wearing off the last couple hours im so sleeppyyyy 😭#well.... maybe everything can wait until tomorrow..... bed is calling..#goodnight everyone muah#.diaries
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