#theres like... a little bit of everything here

[lazarusrisingx]

sylus x disabled reader HC

the first few dates he notices how easily exhausted they are. how by the end of the date your subtly massaging the muscle on one of your legs and it doesnt seem to want to bend fully. how you stumble a bit more walking on your left or right side.

he notices the slight look of pain when you get on your feet, its barely readable for normal people but sylus is so watchful he can see that your in some sort of pain almost instantly.

he finds it odd that you get one particular week off of work a month, and he notices a little bruise on your arm from an IV during that week. he notices how slow you reply and how you dont go anywhere that entire week.

hes definatley curious. but he doesnt want to press on something sensitive so he doesnt ask just yet.

he notices that when you get out of the car or stand up your knuckles go white on your chair or the nearest surface as if your trying to hold yourself up. he sees how you blink a little more rapidly and seem to sway a bit, but you smile and continue on as if its not clear you just got very dizzy.

Sylus notices the amount of timers on your phone, how you seem to know just seconds before they go off and excuse yourself from dinner to go to the bathroom. he can hear the faint click of pill bottles in your purse.

Sylus sees how you take gasping breaths, a hand on your chest as you casually continue to conversate as if you dont seem to be choking for air.

it concerns him. gods does it concern him. he knows something is wrong but cant tell what it is exactly. he sees you in pain and wants desperately to help. if he could breath for you he would.

you start to notice he walks slower with you. pointing out big bumps or cracks in sidewalks. how he quickly adapts to steadying you when you stand up as if its completely natural, offering you his arm when you stand up and if you refuse it, he stands closely beside you, one hand hovering beside your shoulder.

you really didnt want to tell him so early on about your medical conditions. about how numb and painful your leg gets. about how heavy it feels when you walk and thats why you stumble and begin tripping. you didnt want to explain to him why uou gasped for air or fell into fits of coughing and had to excuse yourself to expel whatever came up from your lungs.

until one night, after a few drinks, the two of your were sitting down and you took a gasping breath.

“why do you do that sweetie?” he asked quietly

his words were slightly slurred and his eyes looked down on you with nothing but delicate concern

your stomach twisted in knots as uou thought up an excuse. many times you had explained your disability to someone, and many times you were ghosted the next day.

“i…uh-“

“if your sick you dont have remain here, i can call you a cab.” he said

you let out a quiet sigh shaking your head.

he tilted his head to the side and leaned forward.

“its not… im not sick like that.”

thus began an hour long conversation of your medical problems. detailing from when they first began to now, and everything it entails.

he listens without saying a word. his expression unreadable. inside though, he feels anxious. not because he doesnt think you cant handle this. but because you feel like you need to handle it on your own. the two of you had been having little dates for a while now. if he had been more aware of these things, he wouldve planned other activities.

“so yeah… its a lot i know but you dont have to worry. i have it under control theres nothing you need to do or worry about.”

he gave a quiet chuckle.

“i may not need to do anything sweetie, i may not need to worry. but i will worry, and those appointments, transfusions are difficult to deal with on your own especially if you feel that sick after them. ill go with next month. you can stay here, get some actual rest.” He said

it was as if this was decided for you.

“its not really that serious sylus-“

“its not serious for you. it is your normal life. but that doesnt mean i dont take it very seriously… as for that doctor who isnt taking you seriously..”

a flicker of darkness crosses over his face as he smirks.

“sylus-“

“i have someone else who can help you. who will actually listen. i dont need to come to the appointment but i know that he wouldnt dismiss you like that peice of shit does.”

“my insurance only covers this doctor. i cant see anyone else its not like its primary care this is for a specialized doctor.”

“who said you would need insurance? if you go to my doctor, the visit will be free.” sylus said

you can only stare slack jawed at him for a moment.

“sylus-“

“i assure you, sweetie, you dont deserve to live without an answer for all of this. and i… plan to be around you for a long time. if youll have me that is.”

nearly tearing up, you accept his help. tentatively. and from that day on sylus is even more watchful of you.

he helps you stand up, but always backs off if you ask him to. when your leg begins hurting he finds a space for you to lay down, or he makes one. within a month youve got an inhaler, which he keeps one on his person at all times just for you. he helps organize and get your medication ready so you dont have to lug around a bag of pills. and when you go in for your infusions, instead of being pushed out in a wheelchair by a nurse to wait for a cab, Sylus carries you out himself, kissing your forehead as the meds they gave you keep you asleep, letting you lie down in the backseat, and ordering your favorite meal to be prepared when you get home.

when your pain is bad, he sits next you, rubbing your head and taking careful notes on how many times your legs spasm, calls in a doctor to visit the home to administer special medication, and stays up all night to keep you company.

when you really cant breath, he keeps you propped up and in front of a cold fan, the heat always makes it harder to breath for you. he bought a pulse ox and makes sure you never drop below 92% o2 saturation.

to think you had to do this on your own before was unfathomable for him. it was a true sign of strength that you were able to push through and care for yourself so well when writhing in pain or gasping for air for hours on end.

it was a true sign of strength. but now you didnt need to be that strong. he was there to take on those tasks, and he was happy to do so.

————————-

this is so self indulgent because i have lung problems, massive dizzy spells, an immune defficiency that recquires monthly infusions and tons of meds, and leg pain/ mobility problems. i feel like Sylus would be the ultimate caregiver who never scolds you for missing meds or not keeping up with yourself because he can see how exhausted it makes you and how burnt out you are by all of it. and when you need to be angry and cry because you hate the way your body fails you he is right there to listen, never chiming in that it coild be worse or trying to say your not doing enough to manage your conditions. i feel like zayne would do that ngl.

i love him sm fr

[silverskye13]

Doodle dump! Because I've got a lot of stuff kicking around and I like some of these sketches.

Bottom one is one of my OC refs for Art Fight. Assuming I finish it XD Better late than never I guess.

[skitskatdacat63]

Pictures from the 2023 Brazil Post-Race that made me psychologically and physcially and emotionally unwell:

[retros-artandstuff]

homestuck doodle dump

[pen-papers]

Accidentally clicking QUIT instead on CONTINUE after finally reaching the top of Death Mountain in OOT

Remembering that there's the secret path back to Goron city through the Lost Woods

[liquidstar]

oc req i got from a friend on cohost for these two hanging out! which eventually turned into me thinking "what if this is just saiph walking up to ramus unprompted on Guild Beach Day, but ramus fully forgot who he was since they last met" and that concept was funny enough to me that thats what the drawing became

but still, here's an edited (technically original) version under the cut bc i think eventually they start to talk for real anyway lol

[scarycranegame]

getting evil with it today. but actually what else is new

[suffarustuffaru]

ok but im getting emo over heinkel again so im gonna talk about him again because yeah hes yet another sad character in a sea of sad characters and i love rezero for that but like he is a character consistently characterized by one loss after the other. it's a rollercoaster and its going straight fucking down and he is so miserable and absolutely alone and its both his fault and not his fault at all. but the way it starts is - its all out of his control. the more you think about the trajectory of his life the sadder it gets.

imagine you are heinkel and your parents are the sword saint and the sword demon and you come from a long line of knights and sword saints so thats almost definitely where youre headed, right? thats whats expected of you. you are nineteen years old and youre a knight in the royal guard, which was expected of you, and you have a wife and a beautiful baby boy, which was also expected of you, but at least you have so much joy and love for the latter while the former is just another chain on the astrea family line of people who are stuck to knighthood whether they like it or not. but your family is also just another chain because youre nineteen and your mother is still the sword saint and youre playing with fate here because either youre going to be the sword saint or your son will be.

your wife, the only equal you have, falls asleep one day and never wakes up. you are twenty-one years old and a single parent and then you are twenty-three years old and your son's fate is so much bigger than youll ever be. having the worlds love means that your love pales in comparison, doesnt it? everyone knows about your comatose wife because you keep searching so much for a cure that its just another thing to gossip about. every year that passes by she just continues to look the same as she did when she was awake and alive and loved you. (you dont know it yet but your son is going to reach the same age as her, because you dont find a cure for another sixteen years and you know that she wont love you anymore because who does? theres no one left because your son doesnt count.)

and everyone knows about you because of your family. because yeah, youre a good swordsman, but youre not liked by anyone in the knights. youre not a friend and youre certainly not a sword saint or sword demon. your son mind controls someone because he loves you so much that he would do anything for you and looks up to you like youre some hero, but youre just a wreck whos scrambling to keep what little you have. youre twenty-four and you lose your mom because you were too scared to go on the mission you were assigned on, because youre a coward and youre in over your head and you know, because everyone knows, that you dont measure up. you could never be prepared for this. in a long line of people who have to carry the weight of the world, you crumble easily. your mom goes on that mission and dies and your son becomes the sword saint like this was always going to happen. this is what being loved by the world means. you just killed your mom because you just couldnt suck it up and die on that mission instead. on top of that, your dad says that your five-year-old god of a son killed your mom. its just you and your son and the two of you both killed your mom but youre the worlds biggest laughing stock and your son is the up and coming hero and monster. but you still love your son. you really do.

right?

[carcarrot]

i guess im being offered the job lol

[phonification]

little comp of my favorite doodles ive done at school these past few weeks !!

bluh

[pikkish]

idk if this is a good prompt but put doomguy in myhouse.wad I think he would find it enriching

Right, so I've been mulling on this one for a little bit now, n I'm not opposed to writing something for you, I'm just not... entirely sure what to write? Because the thing is, myhouse.wad doesn't actually really have anything to do with Doom as a story. Sure, Doom is important in that it's the vessel through which the story is told and one of the connections between the narrator and his dead companion. But as far as Doom itself goes, and the story about a man who was too angry/stupid to die, fighting demons and saving earth, none of that is at all relevant to myhouse.wad and its story. For all intents and purposes, Doomguy isn't actually a character in myhouse.wad. So I'm not really sure how exactly to fit him in there.

[puppyeared]

[voidimp]

maybe now that i have adhd meds i can attempt Language again

[earlyspringtranscendence]

finished watching lockwood earlier today and im gutted there wont be a second season bc it's so much better than [redacted] on all levels and ALSO claire finlay thompson of costume design fame i owe you my liiiiiiiife

[mechawolfie]

moremoney taken and im feeling fiiine im feeling so okay and not angry at all (<- LIE)

[everythingisubtext]

See I didnt hate the miraculous movie, but theres something about the multiple posts and opinions on here calling it the fix-it fic or saying how it achieved everything the show couldn't leaves a bit of a bitter taste. Now I've just been avoiding the existence of the film entirely despite there being so many parts i genuinely enjoy