#therefore actually fitting with his track record

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

The Batfam finds out Tim doesn’t have a spleen and instead of explaining he just says that he’s never had a spleen, directly contradicting years of medical examination, but gets away with because of the two options- Getting stabbed vs. forging medical records since he was a kid- the one that’s less believable is usually the true one when it comes to Tim. Not to mention, he has a history of forging things that don’t exist.

[wszczebrzyszynie]

If you don't mind me asking, what did Pearl do to rack up those specific crimes in your science fiction au?

oh to be completly honest i just put crimes that sound most interesting on her wanted poster. She did a lot of things durning her career and many of them she doesnt elaborate on. but most importantly shes a former earthian terrorist, which is the case for a lot of earthian criminals and ex criminals in the story (namely Pearl, Grian and Martyn). This is one of the reasons why her bounty is higher than Tangos at first, considering that nowdays shes more interested in robberies; shes been in the buisness for so long she doesnt even remember her track record herself

being born and raised on earth comes with a lot of baggage. Most of it is destroyed, by wars and catastrophes and simply time, and there is significantly less people than in space combined. Earth, in the eyes of many, outlived its purpose in letting humanity spread around the universe, and therefore isnt really... needed, anymore. theres more work put into easying the immigration process from earth to space, than there is in actually making the planet livable again, and not just a piece of history to be studied. For earthians, it means living in poor conditions and general poverty, with the only solution proposed and encouraged being to leave the planet. In terms of social life, the most notable thing is that earthians tend to stick together; on earth it means the closest social circle, like the village, town, street, while in space it means earthians as a whole, since its not that hard to spot one among spacians. They tend to be protective over themselves and in space there is this general idea of earthian loyalty to each other, as they arent regarded extremely well in spacian circles. (unrelated to Pearl, but this "earthian trust" is something Martyn uses a lot for his benefit, something Grian and Bigb dont trust fully, but Jimmy does). that closeness is why despite everything Pearl still checks up on Jimmy and Grian when she can. Even if they arent related by blood (i imagine Pearl and Grian to be cousins that were raised like siblings, while Jimmy is completly unrelated to them), they were raised like family, and treat each other as such

its no real surprise that a both Pearl and Grian went into crime; they knew how to steal since they were little, and the general disdain for spacians is something they lived with for just as long. the most surprising thing really is just how good of a criminal Pearl turned out to be

(the reason why acts of terrorism isnt mentioned on her poster: not everything is 100% planned out which is why im sometimes very vague about things and the designs change from one drawing to another. it just wasnt something i planned her to be, but it fits with hers, Martyns and Ethos backstories, so here it is)

[orionsangel86]

Who do you think is better suited for dating Morpheus: Johanna or Hob?

Lol controversial ask! Jokes. I am guessing this came off the back of my response to the Calliope post the other week where I mentioned that I am loosely a Dreamling shipper but lean more towards Morphanna currently. I guess I need to specify that it very much depends on my mood because I am a Sandman multishipper at heart but feel different ships serve different purposes regarding Dream. I struggle to stretch them beyond the purposes I have set aside for them. Also it's Dreamling week and so one look at my blog would definitely give the assumption that I am a huge Dreamling shipper but that isn't actually the case. What I am is a Morpheus stan and everything else is peripheral to my focus on him and his story.

But sure lets dig into this. Honest answer? Neither because Morpheus is terrible and his track record alone is enough proof that he should never date anyone ever.

(jokes)

If we want to be sticklers for comic canon here, neither is suited because there are particular blockers in place for both ships.

For Morphanna the blocker is the rule that states that an Endless can not love a mortal. We have the Nada situation to show us what happens when they do. (Sun gets big mad and throws fireballs at the Earth)

For Dreamling the blocker is less carved into stone but its still gonna be a biggy for certain readers/audiences, being that Morpheus is not gay/bi/pan/queer whatever you wanna call him. For all intents and purposes in comic canon he's as straight as a ruler. However whilst we only ever see Morpheus's lovers as powerful, confident, beautiful female presenting immortal beings, we can throw in the tried and true argument we can apply to all of Neil Gaiman's non human beings which is that since he is not a human cis male, he technically can't be straight and since he has multiple forms and is as old as the universe itself, attraction is probably a very different thing to Morpheus than it is to any of us. It's entirely plausible that he could fall in love with a man shaped being (I actually have a meta in progress about Morpheus' potential queerness - sure it may ruffle some feathers but since I do this for fun and not to please anyone but myself I don't give a damn and will post it one day).

Anyway, that said the show could easily do away with both these blockers. We haven't had Nada's tale yet so whats to say the Endless are forbidden from loving mortals in the show universe? Nothing. The show could also easily confirm Dream has had past male presenting lovers (my money would be on Oberon in a threeway situation with Titania - or Pharamond if he shows up.)

So putting those elements aside, who is better suited to Morpheus?

In Johanna's corner we have the following;

She generally fits the archetype of past lovers and therefore could be considered Morpheus's "type" - beautiful, confident, argumentative, not phased by his status, not submissive to him, puts him in his place (listen we all know Morpheus has a submissive kink its practically carved into comic text lol).

Well versed with his "world" and supernatural creatures and can hold her own against them - being a Constantine has its benefits.

She cares - underneath her tough exterior its clear she has a good heart. She was able to bring him down to Earth, to give a human perspective that he needed at that point.

Flawed characters - Johanna considers herself a bad person and compares herself to Roderick Burgess. But Dream is quick to dismiss this. The truth is that Johanna may be messy and a bit of a disaster, but she is very selfless and good at her core. This could be a good thing as it could help Dream to see the good in humanity that he has been missing. Its clear she already helped with this in the show, but going forward, a relationship between them could help even further accelerate his change and make him a better being.

She encouraged the development of his relationship with Matthew. Something else he needed which she saw before he did. Basically she's smart enough to figure out what he needs, and when to press the issue or not. (she dropped the topic of his imprisonment as soon as he deflected to her photo).

She understands heartbreak and messy relationships - I think Johanna would be well suited to Morpheus because she is just as broken as he is, with almost as messy a relationship history. They have common ground there.

"It never ends well does it?" "What? Love?" She's realistic about relationships, which Morpheus - being Dream - needs. She can ground him, at least for a little while.

Johanna is also a powerful ally to have on side, it makes for excellent storytelling to bring her into the narrative regarding Lucifer and the stories revolving around Hell. She's competent, highly skilled, and I think he finds her impressive.

For Hob consider the following:

Friends first - for someone with such a terrible track record of past lovers, finding love in a friend is something Morpheus doesn't appear to have tried before, and this could be exactly what he needs. Dream and Hob have a shared history over 6 centuries, and those are strong foundations to build a relationship on, especially since they've already basically been through the big break up fight and heartbreak and are already in the rekindling phase.

Stories for the storyteller - the beauty of Hob's role is that he is Dream's respite from his world. The visits with Hob are the one time the Prince of Stories gets to sit and listen to stories himself. There must be peace in that, and we all know Dream desperately seeks peace.

Blind Devotion - Hob is patient, and he will wait for Dream. One thing that I think a lot of Morpheus's past lovers had in common is that they struggled to stick out the periods of time when he would throw himself into his work and basically forget about them. The relationships fizzled out after the honeymoon phase because Dream couldn't sustain that, even though once you have his love you have it forever. With Hob that wouldn't be an issue. He is the man who waited. Who never gave up hope that Dream would return even after he was stood up, and when he did return, Hob smiled and joked. It was all okay. Morpheus needs a relationship with that level of chill.

Flawed characters - Unlike Johanna, I think its safe to say that Hob is a very flawed character. He is selfish, greedy, self centered and ignorant to a lot of what takes place around him. Whilst he does grow and improve over time, his flaws are still a huge part of his character. Morpheus is also very far from perfect and it is this that makes them so well suited. There is almost an equal footing there. Hob could potentially see Morpheus's POV when it comes to the grander schemes, but at the same time, it is clear from their journey together in the show that they have a tendency to make each other better.

Grieving fathers - now this is an important one and its something I feel the comic failed to see the potential of. A huge part of the Sandman story is Morpheus struggling to come to terms with his grief over his son. Grief is a central theme. Of all the characters in the comic who Morpheus comes to meet, Hob is one of maybe two that share that experience - being a father whose son died too soon. I think the other character in comic who suffers this same grief is Shakespeare, which is an interesting parallel and one worth exploring. The show adds Roderick Burgess into the equation - making a fathers grief for his dead son the trigger for Dream's own imprisonment. The show emphasises the theme of grief far beyond the comic, which is definitely worth further exploration in a separate meta. The point is that Hob sits in this very small circle of characters who have shared Dream's experience. Hob is therefore in a prime position to help Dream where they can grow and learn to heal together.

Whilst he doesn't fit the archetype for Dream's past lovers, the differences Hob provides could prove to be just what Dream needs. He is still a handsome man (and God knows Dream gave him bedroom eyes in 1789) and he still ticks certain boxes regarding dominance, confidence, and an ability to hold his own in a fight. "You need not have come to my defence" suuuuure Dream but you did enjoy it nevertheless! Therefore attraction isn't an issue.

Conclusion?

Both Johanna and Hob tick certain boxes to meet the requirements for "love interest" and could easily be positioned that way for Dream. When I really dig down into it I think it depends on what fans are looking for in a Dream ship as to which character is best suited.

I love Morphanna for how messy it is. Yes, Johanna cares and has a good moral centre, but placing her into a certain role within the bounds of the canon story could actually be bad for Dream going forward. I see it as a dramatic relationship. It would be passionate, fiery, dramatic, chaotic, and will end in heartbreak.

I say this because ultimately Johanna doesn't do commitment. This is a clearly defined character trait in the show. Commitment is something she struggles with. Whereas Morpheus is all about commitment. He doesn't appear to do anything BUT commit to people and comes on extremely strong. I love exploring this dynamic between them. I think it would work brilliantly as a canon ship and I am still resolutely behind the idea that Johanna should replace Thessaly in canon and be the trigger for the rainsoaked Dreaming and the Brief Lives disaster trip.

So whilst I 100% ship Morphanna, I think I only ship it on a temporary basis. I struggle to imagine a future where they can have a happy ending and be together long term. Instead I see an ending where after all is said and done, Johanna stands and tells her story at the Wake, and mourns the creature she loved, and has to go on struggling to understand her role in his downfall. If we are seeking an alternative ending where Morpheus lives, I still struggle to see him settling down with Johanna as she is a mortal and I cannot imagine her ever choosing immortality or giving up her job as someone who saves people from the supernatural. She will never be Morpheus's queen. It just doesn't suit her character.

When it comes to Hob, as much as it sometimes irks me to admit it, he is very well suited for Morpheus even in an endgame/alternative happy ending way. Foundations based in centuries of growing friendship, his patience and ability to wait for Morpheus to get his head out of his ass, his being unphased at practically all the weirdness and oddities that Dream's world brings with it. The fact is, Hob is Dream's best friend. This is something that Dream needs so much more than a lover. Not only that but he is a friend who has shared history, shared grief, shared pain, blind devotion, and he is immortal. Hob will stay by Dream's side forever if he has the chance. So long as he still gets to live. Whether you see it as purely platonic, queer platonic, non sexual romantic, or fully romantic and sexual, they are in it for the long term.

Whereas Morphanna for me is a quick burning fiery passionate love affair that ends in tears and A LOT of rain, Dreamling is a very slow burn. I struggle with canon based fics that have them falling into bed shortly after the 2022 reunion because it feels out of character to me. If Dreamling were to happen, it would need to take practically the entire comic run story to get to that point. Hob's devotion to Dream is clear, but his awareness of its romantic potential is not yet there. I always return to Hob's dream in Sunday Mourning when I think of Dreamling, because for me, that is where a relationship between them would actually start, rather than end. Because I think it would take a huge event like Morpheus's actual death for them to pull their heads out of their asses and get together. Because you see even with all the arguments and debates and highly emotional opinions thrown around, I still feel deep down like Sunday Mourning is telling us that Morpheus escaped. He got out the narrative and is free from his cage, and now he's set for his own adventure off in the stars. The only person I can realistically imagine him taking with him is Hob Gadling.

At the end of the day these are my opinions. I want canon Morphanna, I just want it to end with a horrible messy break up because I want that drama. I am unsure if I want Dreamling in canon, but I do hope that if the show ends similarly to the comic, that we will get those scenes in Sunday Mourning and have them be extremely emotionally charged - if ever there is a Dreamling love confession, that is where it belongs. I can only really analyse my opinions on these ships based on canon but I am aware that fandom is a big sandbox and people can do what they want always with these characters. Please don't ever let my opinions deter you from shipping them to your hearts content in any way you feel like.

So I guess the TL:DR is that they are both suited in different ways. Morphanna is a mid story passionate love affair that I adore and want to end in disaster. Dreamling is an endgame slow burn friends to lovers that has the potential to go long term.

I love them both for their specific purposes, believe they both are suited for those purposes, but never the other way around. I hope this satisfies your question! :)

[scotianostra]

October 11th 1297 is the date of the letter from William Wallace to the mayor of Lübeck.

I love this letter, it is the only thing from Wallace that we know 100% that he had a hand in writing and actually touched, as his seal is on it. I saw the Lübeck and "safe conduct" letter when they went on display at the Holyrood Parliament in 2012, thanks to the hard work of the late Duncan Fenton and The Society of William Wallace. While the "safe conduct" letter was almost certainly in his possession when he was betrayed and captured, for me because of the message the Lübeck letter sent out - Scotland is open for business, it is more important. The safe conduct letter would also have been written by someone else.

After Scottish forces led by William Wallace and his northern ally Andrew de Moray won the Battle of Stirling Bridge on September 11, 1297, Wallace wasted no time trying to get the Scottish economy back on track. The English had captured Scottish ports the year before and severely curtailed trade. Exactly a month after Stirling Bridge, Wallace felt secure enough to write to the Hanseatic League towns of Hamburg and Lübeck alerting them that Scotland’s ports were open for business again. (Mornay was mortally wounded at Stirling Bridge, although it appears he lived for a short time afterwards and Wallace continued to include his name in correspondence until his death.)

The letter was written in latin and reads as follows...

"Andrew de Murray and William Wallace, leaders of the army of the kingdom of Scotland, and the community of the same kingdom, to their worthy, discreet and beloved friends the mayors and communes of Lübeck and Hamburg, greeting, and increase always of sincere friendship.

It has been intimated to us by trustworthy merchants of the said Kingdom of Scotland that you by your own goodwill are giving counsel, help and favour in all causes and business concerning us and our merchants, although our merits had not deserved this, and therefore all the more are we bound to you to give you thanks and a worthy recompense, to do which we are willing to be obliged to you; and we ask you that you will make it be proclaimed amongst your merchants that they can have secure access to all ports of the kingdom of Scotland with their merchandise since the kingdom of Scotland, thanks be to God, has by arms been recovered from the power of the English. Farewell.

Given at Haddington in Scotland on the 11th day of October in the year of grace one thousand two hundred and ninety seven.

We request moreover that you will see fit to forward the business of John Burnet and John Frere, our merchants, just as you wish us to forward the business of your merchants. Farewell. Given as before."

The Hamburg letter was destroyed in World War II. The Lübeck letter was first discovered preserved in the Lübeck archives in the 1820s. It was often mentioned in books thereafter. In 1942, Lübeck, on the Baltic coast of Germany, was attacked by Allied aircraft. As a result, the town's archives, including the letter, were moved to a salt mine for safety. At the end of the war, the Soviet army took the papers east.

The archives were later handed over to the archive administration of East Germany, but the medieval documents were not among the records. It was assumed that they had been lost. In the 1970s Lübeck documents were found in the archives of the USSR. In 1990, after some negotiation, the town's medieval records, including Wallace and Murray's letter, were returned to Lübeck.

It is now kept in the National Archives of Lübeck but has been on loan to Scotland several times. The Society Of William Wallace were given an exact copy of the letter a a couple of years ago from Lübeck. Unfortunately the original is only allowed to be displayed for short times due to the age of the document and fragile state it is in, being over 720 years old.

The Scottish government has long yearned for both letters and have requested that the National Archives in Kew and Lübeck donate the letters to Scotland. That hasn’t happened, although Kew has agreed to a long-term loan of the Safe Conduct letter.

[dollarbin]

The Last of World Party Week:

Love is Best and Rolling Off a Log

I know the week of Karl Wallinger's passing is long past but I can't resist one final, for now anyway, entry. I've played a lot of World Party this month, relishing the music and the fact that my wife doesn't complain when I've got them cranked.

(The later of these benefits is decidedly not in place during a lot of the deep auditory research work needed for this august blog. This weekend I heard several, very reasonable, spousal sighs while the Stills-Young Band did their fairly terrible thing for this week's Shakey Sunday. Turns out that coked up tunes from Stephen Stills about deep sea love making with Jesus as your only witness are not the best basis for marital bliss. I therefore put on a pair of headphones.)

But at 9:15pm on Saturday evening my wife woke me up from a way too early, book in my lap, snooze with a groovy question.

"I want to hear that one World Party song you played lately," she announced as I came back to some form of consciousness and remembered that I had yet to brush my teeth. "I don't really know how it goes. And I don't know the words. I think there's 'love' in the title."

She then hummed something incredibly vague: it could have been a version of Thank You World, or Curse of the Mummy's Tomb, or Bach's 65th Piano Concerto or Raffi's Baby Beluga. My wife had no other hints, theories or guidance to offer. She wanted me to figure it out and play her that song. Now.

Well, I love this kind of thing. Seriously. Ask me out of the blue what Neil Young song rhymes "knees" with "frozen peas" and I will not rest until I've (without any help from google; I can't stand that approach) identified the track (Dirty Old Man), played it through twice and decided, after nearly two decades of loathing, that the song is actually kinda great.

Well, maybe it's not that great after all. But we get to learn about what happens when you drink on the job and then get caught doing something or other with the boss's wife in the parking lot. So that's good information to have. Thank you Neil.

Anyway, it took me three false guesses and ten minutes on Saturday night before I identified the World Party song my wife wanted to hear: Love is Best from the band's fourth, too long and occasionally dull, record Egyptology.

I'm so glad my wife set me the challenge. Love is Best is a fantastic, richly textured dream I'd never fully appreciated.

Until now:

There must be 16 vocal tracks floating through this homemade, yet polished, track. We also get a tiny, perfect bridge, sweet, understated electric guitar and the corny title is given a perfect home in the all-too -sudden ending.

The song also highlights yet another of Wallinger's manifold gifts: his surprising, richly rewarding sequencing. Want an example? Goodbye Jumbo's two timeless pop singles (Way Down Now and Put the Message in the Box) are bridged by the spacious and epic background track When the Rainbow Comes.

Indeed, here's a fitting sister song to Love Is Best: a full twenty seconds pass before the track really begins, allowing us time to savor not just Karl's rats and bleeding in the sewer but also the harmonies that carried us in Way Down Now; and then at the 35 second mark we get a surprise, beautifully bent, second hook. There's just enough happening in the lyrical postman bridge to grab us fully and then the song just glows for another two and a half minutes, fading out with perfect la la las, and leaving us fully prepped for the record's central motif in Message in the Box.

Love is Best serves a similar purpose on Egyptology, setting us up for the record's most ambitious and rewarding song:

Wallinger's approach is so thoughtful here. The Sergeant Pepper strings, the spoken bridge, the balance of falsetto with strength, the muscular but respectful guitar that only arrives a full five minutes in, and the surprise vocal gymnastics that chase us soon after: Rolling Off A Log echoes the complexity of a Disintegration-era Cure track without ever losing its identity as a World Party classic.

So good! I can't wait for my wife to vaguely order up more World Party greatness.

[spider-xan]

On the producer/actor commentary track, Tony Curran actually mentioned something that I had definitely been thinking about, which is that Mina should have been able to hear the high frequency second sound on the record as well, given that she's a vampire with bat powers and, in addition to bats echolocating via high frequency sounds, therefore fits the 'lower animals' description for who and what can hear it; we do see her looking up and around warily as if she can hear something that is otherwise inaudible later, but only after the villain has already revealed it to everyone.

That said, I think you make it work by handwaving it as that she did hear it, but didn't think it was noteworthy or assumed it was coming from elsewhere in the Nautilus, and as someone with bat powers and traits, it wouldn't be painful for her the way it obviously was for Jekyll and Hyde, and Jekyll seems to have extremely sensitive hearing or auditory sensory issues as a side effect of Hyde being more animalistic, as he also covered one ear when he heard the ringing while everyone else was merely startled, then did a full-body cringe and covered both ears when the Nautilus is sinking and a lot of metal is grinding against other metal to make high-pitched noises; if you want to tie it back to the source material, this could also be a nod to Jekyll describing the experiencing of new sensations as Hyde in his final statement.

Regarding Hyde reacting in the mirror, I suppose there is more than one way to interpret what's going on there, but since I ascribe to Jekyll and Hyde being one mind in one body with two forms, I read it as being that Jekyll initially hears and is pained by the sound, dismisses it when Mina asks if he's all right bc it's probably nothing, but continues hearing it while willfully ignoring it, and since Hyde is arguably his subconscious and unrestrained self, what he sees in the mirror and hears as Hyde warning him to turn off the phonograph is that deep down, he knows something is wrong, but isn't willing to confront and admit it to himself and the others, and in light of commentary about how his character is trying very hard to prove to the rest of the team that he's stable and in control, it makes sense that he wouldn't be open about something that points towards him possibly going into monster mode; and given how he still doesn't believe that he and Hyde are one and the same, I can also see him not wanting to accept that if he in his fully human form and mind as Jekyll can hear sounds 'higher than humans can hear, audible to dogs and lower animals', then the line between him and Hyde is now far more blurred than he thought, even physically.

[three-headed-monster]

EXACTLY. Adam definitely fits in with these Canada boys and is happy. And he's literally said that he chose the ushl and ncaa because if he went to the whl he wouldn't have been draft eligible for a few more years and that he thought it would be best for his development to play against older people who are more physical rather than kids his age.

okay i am gonna clear things up for everyone JUST SO WE DON’T GET IT WRONG AND MIXED UP

why adam fantilli didn’t go to the ohl

1) denied exceptional status and bumped back down to his own age group

idk who many people actually know that the year they played each other in the OHL cup, both shane and adam were playing a year ahead of their age group in the ‘03 group. adam and shane both applied for exceptional status at the time but adam was denied and shane was accepted. this makes sense, they usually only grant 1 person per age group exceptional status no matter how many apply. however, this became problematic for adam because while shane was allowed to play in the ohl and continue along with the ‘03 age group, he was not. adam actually switched teams temporarily from the red wings back to the jr. canadiens to go BACK to his age group with his peers because he wasn’t old enough to go to the ojhl or the ohl. this meant he was playing with lesser teammates and in a whole new team dynamic he hadn’t been apart of for years. without that exceptional status year, he was actually going to be quite a few years behind the 03s draft wise due to his late birthday. therefore he searched for a new route to try to continue playing with better competition and teammates.

2) luca

i won’t deny that missing luca probably was a huge factor for adam going to kimball union in particular. he has never played without his brother being at home and that was definitely tough on him. i think they have a deep connection and a strong bond and i have no doubts that adam most of all wanted to be near luca wherever he played hockey.

3) he’s a pat brisson client

sorry to say but there’s a known track record of pat brisson clients specifically on the umich team taking unconventional routes in development. for example, briss went to shattuck before the ushl which is quite unusual considering he grew up in la. as well, bords headed to the ntdp based on the hughes suggestion; jim hughes, pat’s employee. you also have to look no further than jonathan toews (shattuck -> college), sidney crosby (shattuck -> qmjhl), and nathan mackinnon (shattuck -> qmjhl) to realize that there is a trend of his high profile clients going to prep school instead of playing chl and/or cjhl. i would bet money that if a spot on the kimball union team hadn’t opened up, adam would have shipped himself over to shattuck or another prep school.

4) the ohl team that drafted him was rebuilding

again, i have no idea how many people know that adam actually was drafted into the ohl quite high and he considered going. like look he even did a prospects feature for them just like everyone else. he actually made his decision to sign an letter of intent with umich quote late in the game, only a year before his intended freshman year. the reason was, the saginaw spirit owned his ohl rights and despite already committed to playing in the ushl, he still wanted to canvas his options. the spirit were very very good before the covid-19 pandemic hit and were probably an option for adam considering they were poised to win. it was also in michigan, so he could be close to luca as well. however, by the time the 2021-22 season rolled around, the spirit were in a much different place. many of their star players had aged out of the ohl during the cancelled season and they did not collect enough draft capital to replace it. they lost the majority of their games that season and were actively starting to rebuild, as they are now. they traded his rights away to the north bay battalion, who were also not good at the time, under defected player rules because they knew he wasn’t coming to them during their current rebuild. saginaw is also a small market compared to chicago and ann arbor for hockey.

5) his best friend rutger was committed to umich

not enough is made about how adam had a whole surrounding community that was dedicated to umich. his brother AND his best friend from the time he was 14 were both going there and it was probably a simple decision to make when just considering that. he loves them and would follow them to umich too.

so there you go! all the big reasons why adam decided to go to umich and NOT the ohl. it has nothing to do with him feeling like he’s being bullied by his peers or feeling shit on by people who he thinks are his friends. not at all. it’s also not him using luca as a crutch or anything. simply that it comes down the numbers and ages just making sense for him and him wanting to be close to rutger and luca (but not only that). suggesting otherwise is just conveniently twisting facts to match the idea that adam hates canada.

[limesonspecial]

I am reluctantly breaking my zero-post streak because I would like to address the outrage, which is drawing reasonable conclusions from incomplete information.

So, back when I was a mere twinkle in my father's eye, he took a job with [multinational personal care corporation] in their FemCare division, specifically in materials development. Among other things, he was involved in developing synthetic menstrual fluid and using it to test their products, so the "they were using saline and water" bit above didn't ring true to me. Naturally, I went to the source and asked:

I wasn't able to get the full article because it's behind a paywall, I no longer have university access, and Sci-hub doesn't have it (yet). However, there was this screengrab above [highlight mine] which seems to be the source of the problem:

Now, since I don't have full access, I can't track down what citations [3] and [4] are to see what they actually say, but I think the phrasing "a liquid such as saline or water" [emphasis mine] is telling. That seems like some people say they've used those, but by and large the manufacturers aren't telling. Over Discord, Dad concurs:

Now, dear reader, you might have noticed I said m'dad did this work in the late 80s/early 90s, and thus might be (reasonably) skeptical as to the applicability of his recollections to current product testing. To this concern, I say 1) Dad was still working for [multinational personal care corporation] in an adjacent division until the late aughts, so his secondhand knowledge is considerably more recent than 30+ years ago, and 2) while I was doing my first graduate degree, I happened to intern with the team doing fundamental research on skin & vaginal physiology at the same company, so I can also provide recent(ish) context. Ignoring that my placement on that team was hilariously incongruous with my own research specialty, I can tell you that the folks working on the R side of R&D there were quite interested in the minute details of the vagina - I sat through one presentation about mucosal proteins in vaginal discharge, and there was a guy on the team who was working on building a better model of the vagina to test product fit. In short: they still care about accurate simulations.

Touching briefly on the study's use of actual, human blood for their testing - as dear old Dad pointed out, blood testing has to happen in special blood labs. I can also personally attest, having looked into purchasing blood for my current job, that even if the blood itself is inexpensive, the S&H costs are exorbitant. Across the three vendors I priced out, the combined costs for 50mL (for Imperial unit folks, <2oz) of sheep blood (the cheap stuff!) consistently came out to around USD100. So, even taking into account the economy of scale, it's safe to assume that real-blood testing is limited for reasons of safety and economics. Good simulated fluid is therefore going to be a central component of testing.

All of this is to say that while the original study is really cool, the authors (and many people reading their article) seem to be operating under the misapprehension that corporate R&D does shoddy testing. And I totally get that, because manufacturers are very secretive about their testing protocols. But! Just for the hellsite record, people working in corporate R&D are trying to get/report good data, they just can't tell anyone about how they got it for trade secret reasons. Be mad if you want, just be mad about the right thing.

hey, hi, I was just on the former bird app and came across this info from a brand new study and now I cannot stop screaming internally??? what the actual fuckkkk

theres' an article from the guardian here and here is the actual study:

[goalisbsblog]

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some thoughts on twst en unique magic/signature spell localization

***Spoilers for chapter 4 of the main story + Trey’s UM!***

I can excuse Trey’s UM being changed from “Doodle Suit” in JP to “Paint the Roses” in EN; the Kanji for Trey’s UM name in the original read as “Paint the Roses”, so it makes sense why EN might go with that name over “Doodle Suit”. The term “Paint the Roses” also has a more obvious and direct reference to Alice in Wonderland, which fits with the vibes of TWST EN (it has a lot more added Disney movie references than what was originally in the JP version). However, I will say that it is slightly jarring to read different words than what the character is speaking (and therefore what I am hearing).

Meanwhile, I cannot say that I completely understand the decision to change Jamil’s “Snake Whisper” to “Snake Charmer” for EN. “Snake Whisper” made so much sense. Jamil is often characterized as a snake (the popular JP fandom emoji to represent him even IS a snake), so when he speaks his UM, he is literally becoming the snake whispering in Kalim’s ear to influence his words and his actions. This is similar, of course, to how Jafar used his snake staff to manipulate the Sultan into doing his bidding in the Aladdin movie.

Personally, I think the localized name, “Snake Charmer”, robs us of a lot of the nuance that “Snake Whisper” had. At first glance, the name seems to make sense, especially considering the effect his magic has on others... but then think back to how Jamil has been characterized so far and it suddenly makes less sense. If Jamil is shown to be the “snake in the grass”, why is he “charming” other people??? Doesn’t that imply that other people, including Kalim, are the snakes, not him? If I’m being generous, maybe this could be excused because, in Jamil’s eyes, the world is his enemy, the place full of snakes that has robbed him of his rightful place. Maybe to him, he isn’t a snake. But honestly? I’m pretty sure Jamil knows he is being underhanded and that he has to be—why else would be work in secret to dethrone Kalim? The same goes for Jafar in the original movie (he worked in secret because he was aware what he was doing would be frowned on by others), which means the new name commits the act of actually obscuring a Disney reference in a UM name.

Going back to the original UM, “Snake Whisper” works well because it better alludes to his personality. As the JP term implies, a “unique” magic is just that: unique to each person, a power formed and cultivated in part by one’s personality and individual traits. In this case, the “whisper” part of “Snake Whisper” may refer not only refer to Jamil’s ability, but also the type of person he is. He works quietly, secretively.

“Snake Charmer”, by comparison, kind of gives the wrong impression of Jamil. Most people associate being a “charmer” with being flirtatious which Jamil definitely is not. He’s nice, sure, but nice is not always a synonym for charming. In fact, the game makes it a point to tell us that Jamil doesn’t stand out and is seen as very “average” by his peers, so he isn’t seen as “charming”, amicable, or even persuasive (another definition for the word “charming”) by most. If we consider the full phrase, “Snake Charmer”, that somehow makes things worse because it can come off as orientalist (not that Aladdin was free of problems, but this just adds to them). Like... do you think the EN audience won’t understand the concept of Jamil’s UM unless you dumb it down to a stereotype? Disney already has a poor track record when it comes to representing other cultures, so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised but... we all expect that they do better.

It’s just a baffling and confusing move overall, and I don’t get it 😞

[rainbowsky]

Did DLS Out DD During a DDU Recording and Make Him Cry?

This has been making the rounds on Twitter and YouTube and even Tumblr, for a while now. Fancam footage of DLS making a boyfriend joke and then leaning in to a supposedly upset DD and trying to smooth things over.

This whole thing is based on fancam footage taken during the recording of the DDU 20190825 episode. In this episode dating was being discussed using four beautiful young women, DD and QF along with two handsome young guests as a backdrop.

The subtitles of the fan cam present a scenario where DLS supposedly refers to DD as ‘not needing a girlfriend because he already has a boyfriend’ and then leaning into a supposedly emotional DD and apologizing, trying to calm him down; saying viewers won’t understand what was said.

Let’s take a look at the video:

The full fan cam footage that this out of context clip was taken from can be found here.

If you watch the episode and the complete fan cam footage, you’ll see that this happened during the segment where they were being asked to comment on various dating scenarios. An announcer would present each scenario in a multiple choice format, asking the women to choose between four options based on the type of guy they’d most like to date. For example:

How would you like the boy you like to invite you for a meal on the weekend?

A] Save your weekend for me. Do not say no.

B] You had breakfast at 7:50 this morning and lunch at 12:30. It’s already 7pm now. You have to eat meals on time. Why don’t I take you out for dinner?

C] I tried to explain my thoughts when I look at you, but I failed. So do you have time for dinner with me this weekend? Let’s talk about it.

D] Get out. Dinner.

My opinion

We should always, always be suspicious of anything that is presented without context. 99.9% of the time, when someone removes context they are doing so to mislead audiences. This clip is a perfect example of that. The video creator appears to have removed important context in order to make the clip better fit the narrative they’re trying to sell.

In this segment of the episode, the hosts and guests were seen commenting on the options as they were being read out. The comments DLS is making appear to be in response to something the announcer has said. I don’t think the comments have anything whatsoever do to with DD.

I also don’t think DD looks even remotely upset. Certainly not near tears. Some fans seem over-eager to claim DD is crying. We’ve all seen DD cry, but it’s exceptionally rare and only happens in very personal situations. This doesn’t qualify. It wouldn’t qualify even if everything the video creator claimed was true. DD would be more likely to get angry than cry in such a situation. He isn’t doing either of these things.

Whoever made this video simply doesn’t ‘get’ DD’s personality at all. The people who buy this are similarly unfamiliar with him.

I invite everyone to use your own eyes and your own judgment. Ignore what’s being claimed, ignore the framing you’ve been given of the scenario by me or the video creator, and instead just watch the clip. Does that look like a man on the verge of tears to you?

Second and third opinions

I asked the indispensable @potteresque-ire and @knivescharade what they thought of the clip. I didn’t tell them anything about my opinion, but simply sent the clip and asked their thoughts - are the subtitles correct, what do you think of the lip reading, etc.

@knivescharade

wow, for this person to put this analysis in i would say that lip reading is a very difficult skill. and to try and lip read someone like DLS, who speaks like a bullet train and doesn't really enunciate SUPER well (unlike Han-ge, for example) ... i would say the interpretation is only very vaguely possible at best.

i know both the cand int fandom have a major something for how WYB keeps swallowing around XZ, but honestly. WYB tends to get throat issues. i think swallowing has become one of his habits at this point. so... in conclusion... there are already lots of major, amazing, and irrefutable candies in the fandom already, let's not bother with such iffy ones :D

he is indeed saying that "this man has a boyfriend", but i cant quite remember which part of the show that was in. i watched that episode, it was something to do with love and having 4 guys paired with 4 girls or something like that, and listening to 'types of guys responses to etc etc' so DLS wasnt saying that WYB has a boyfriend - he was saying that 'this man', the one whose voice was playing in the audio, has a boyfriend.

That tracks with my interpretation of what was happening.

@potteresque-ire

Unless people have learned the dialect, Mandarin speakers cannot understand Cantonese, and vice versa. This is why I don't support or wash auditory candies, especially if it involves someone from Northern China (such as DLS, who is a Beijing native). Their local accents make their Mandarin even more difficult to understand.

This dialect restriction is actually not specific to a me, or other Hong Kongers. Someone whose family is entirely from Northern China would be equally prone to making mistakes if they're asked to lip read southern Chinese.

Lip reading also removes tonal consideration, which makes everything that much more uncertain. Have you heard of the Mr Shi Eats the Lion story? This is why, even if I hear some similarities, I'd hesitate to say X has to be saying ABC. Context is important.

Cantonese speakers are especially picky about tone. Mandarin have 4. We have 6 or 9, depending on who you ask. So... I may be more picky than I should be that way too. And I don't want to spoil anyone's fun 😊

The translation was correct in the sense that it was faithful to the Chinese words in the clip I saw, which replicated what DLS said accurately. But the video itself was from a fancam. Where that fancam happened (and got cut off) was at Q3 at the Q & A segment, starting ~9:34 of the official YouTube clip.

DLS said what he said half way through the voiceover of Option A (very precisely, right after the words "I'm the only one"). Technically speaking, therefore, he wasn't talking about DD.

However, it was also a little strange why DLS said what he said. If you watch that segment, all options have a certain personality attached to them. C was very talkative / pretentious. D was connected to DD because it was blunt and direct. A was the so called "overbearing CEO" personality... which is common in het romance dramas but isn't one that has been connected to the gay stereotype. And so, DLS's timing of saying that ... is curious.

Dd did look a little ... I wouldn't say upset, but tense after DLS said that. Maybe it's because that comment kinda came out of nowhere (because of its curious timing), and so it would be read as hinting at something. But that comment is harmless, wording wise.

Alternate theory

I’ve seen some talk from fans about a different theory for why DLS said what he said. Fans say the announcer for option A was Bian Jiang, the actor who did the voice of LWJ in The Untamed. They say that DLS was making a joke about LWJ not needing a boyfriend because he already has one. That actually makes a lot of sense to me as well, and if that’s really Bian Jiang, then I’d say that’s the most likely explanation for this entire thing.

Conclusion

It’s my firm opinion that DLS was not talking about DD having a boyfriend, nor was DD ‘near tears’ in this clip. Whatever DLS said to DD after that, it almost certainly wouldn’t have been ‘words of comfort to placate an upset DD’.

The Bian Jiang theory fits best, but we don’t need to know why DLS said what he said to be able to conclude he wasn’t talking about DD.

Cute DD candy from this episode

If anyone wants a better candy from this episode, look no further than when he emerges from “door #2″, chosen by one of the women as someone she’d like to date based on the food he’d picked out, and immediately launches into “I want to take a man back to my place and hide him.” A LWJ reference (which DLS and Wang Han clarify with him because they appear baffled by what he just said), but still a tactful, perfect rejection of this woman he’s being paired with. 😅

[cazimagines]

I need to see Ernst Schmidt throw a jealousy fit, it can end fluff or smut, but I just want all his anger being directed to reader

It's a good day to be an Ernst fan huh

It was common knowledge that Ernst and Volkov didn't get along. Every day they were at each other's throats for the silliest of reasons. Volkov claimed it was Ernst's fault they hadn't been able to get the ship to work yet, and Ernst, being the short-tempered man that he was, would try to shut him up by plumming his face in.

Every day the team were having to break the two of them apart, and it would be your duty to take him away and calm him down. You were the only member of the crew he would listen to during that time, and the way your voice spoke to him, how gentle you were, it calmed his nerves, enough to promise not to attack Volkov the next time he saw him.

But today strikes the first difference.

You and Volkov were on your own, working on repairing some panelling. You were handing him a screwdriver while he was fixing up the wires in the panel and he made a suggestive remark about it. You chuckled, knowing it was just his humour and joked back to him equally. This started off a sort of flirty banter between the two of you. It was harmless and you both knew that nothing would come of this, yes you were dating Ernst but it was simply a joke nothing more, so why not have a bit of fun?

What the two of you were unaware about though, was that the intercom was on in your room, and a certain German man had been working on fixing the recording function and heard every word the two of you said.

He knew the two of you weren't dating, and therefore he had no reason to be jealous. But he was.

How could you betray his trust, flirt with the one man that hated his guts? He thought the relationship the two of you had actually meant something, but now it was clear to see you treated it the same way you would treat a piece of mud.

Feeling the rage swarm him, without finishing his work he charged down to the station you were on. He flung the door open, letting it crash against the wall. Both you and Volkov jumped, staring wide-eyed at the man.

"What the hell" Volkov growled, getting off his ladder to storm towards Ernst, yet before he had a chance to defend himself Ernst was on top of him, shoving him to the ground and repeatedly punching him in the face, not caring about the blood that started to splatter his hands.

Eventually, the rest of the crew pulled him off Volkov, pushing him to the other side of the room where they looked at you to help calm him. Gently you stepped forward to take his hand and guide him out of the room but as you spoke his name, his dark eyes fixed upon you, rage as clear as day within them and it made you halt in your tracks in sudden fear.

This time it was Ernst who grasped your wrist, so tightly it would bruise. He pulled you out of the room harshly. He pulled you along the corridors, his pace not slowly for a moment. You called out to him, asking where he was leading you but he did answer.

Finally, he reached a spot where he knew the two of you wouldn't be interrupted. Pulling you in, he slammed the door, the proceeded to slam you on the door.

"What the fuck were you doing" he growled as his hands clasped your suit tightly, his body pressed up against yours.

"I, I don't know what you mean"

His fists tightened on your clothes, and he spat onto the floor, trying to bring his anger across to you.

"I heard all the flitch you two were saying through the intercom. Every. Single. Word"

You whimpered before him, guilt swarming you as you finally saw behind all the anger in his eyes, was a deep sorrowing pain.

"Ernst, it was just a joke!" you tried to claim, making him laugh bitterly at you, letting you go.

"Haha, some joke there. Flirting with another man, that's so funny" he replied sarcastically, pacing the room to try and alleviate his anger.

"I swear I won't do it again" you claim, despite your mind telling you not to, you take another step towards him.

He breathed in heavily, trying to regain some composure, but ultimately losing.

"No, you won't" he hissed, taking a step towards you, "Because, after tonight, everyone on this goddam ship will know you belong to me. None of them will dare say anything like that to you again"

Unknowingly to you, Ernst still had one of the microphones connecting to everyone's earpieces in his pocket, and without you noticing, he flicked the switch on.

He pushed you back against the wall, his lips pressing onto you and you instantly responded. With one hand you grasped ahold of his uniform while with the other you buried it into his hair, tugging at it as he pushed his tongue into your mouth.

It was hot, heavy, messy but passionate and you felt yourself just melting into it. While still holding you, his hands digging into the skin on your waist, he pulled you away from the door and over to a table. Finally, when you bumped against it, he pulled his lips away from you.

With his hands, he grasped your uniform and tore it as if it were paper. You gasped at the sensation, goosebumps raking up your arms making you shudder.

His hands palmed your breasts, giving them a harsh squeeze that caused you to moan loudly, and Ernst smirked knowing how everyone else would be hearing it.

Holding your hips tightly, he quickly flipped you over and tore off the rest of your hanging uniform, making your bare skin touch the cold metal of the table.

"Ernst" you whined, pushing your hips back against the bludge you felt in his pants, craving to feel him inside of you.

"So needy for me" he muttered, running his fingers down your back slowly, "you're really just a slut, aren't you"

"Yes!" you groaned, pushing your head onto the table, "Please God, I need you Ernst"

He pulled his belt off, then gathered up your wrists. You whined as he tied them around your arms, securing your hands together and then tying the end part to a handlebar on the wall, securing you so you couldn't move.

"Fine then, if that's what a slut like you needs, I'll have you calling out my name so that everyone can hear just who you truly belong to"

With that he quickly unfastened his own uniform, holding his dick in one hand. He didn't even need to prepare you, for you had already come wet from anticipation, and so with placing one hand your back stilling you, in one swift motion, he thrust into you.

He groaned at the sensation of your warm walls instantly grasping him, pulling him in. He could almost forgive you due to the bliss you were causing him, but he knew he had to teach you a lesson if you weren't to flirt with anyone else again.

He raised his hand and brought it down upon your ass, slapping it harshly, making you cry out at the sudden pain. As he started to thrust fastly into you, he continued to spank you, making you cry out from the overwhelming pleasure and pain that raked through you.

You bit your lip in an attempt to stop all the noises leaving you, but when he noticed his hand snaked up to your throat, lingering there as a warning.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you, Schatz. You know just how much I love to hear those little lewd noises you make"

As you let go of your lip, he determinedly thrust as far as he could into you, hitting your cervix. You cried out his name, the only word in your mind anymore and he smirked, knowing finally you were his and his alone.

He continued to pound away, and when your orgasm ripped through you, he still thrust through it, leaving you a whimpering, twitching mess on the table as he used you.

And you loved every second of it where he made you his.

Cazzy's 900 celebration

[weareallstardustfallen]

empires recap - week of sept 18

the videos released from saturday, september 18 to friday, september 24 were:

-sausage's episode 31: he finds the elder guardians from fwhip and pixl's prank, kidnaps gem and scott with the help of joey, and builds a fighting arena with pearl

-shubble's episode 18, summarized by @aroallosupremacy: she works on her castle, deals with an accidental raid, and introduces the lore for her citizens

-fwhip's episode 22: he relocates his gunpowder to avoid thieves and discusses his plans for a vault, works with pixl to leave elder guardians in mythland, and builds a tinker's forge

-joel's episode 20: he builds a significant portion of his megabase, and plans to write a diss track on fwhip

-pearl's episode 8: she interacts with possessed!sausage, and builds a fighting arena with sausage

-joey's episode 20: he reacts to the new corrupted trees at his and fwhip's base, gains a new mount, and shows it to shubble

-sausage's episode 32: he confronts jimmy, distributes invitations to the fighting arena with pearl, and builds an embassy in pixandria

-joel's episode 21: he builds a new building, mezalean records, and writes and performs his diss track

detailed recaps under the cut!

sausage 31:

-sausage opens the video by stating that he thinks he’s probably around 85% corrupted -“there’s still a little bit of good inside me. for right now, though, we’ll see how it goes and how long that’s gonna last!” -he begins to talk about his plan to kidnap gem and scott, but is interrupted by mining fatigue from one of the elder guardians fwhip and pixl left; he kills the guardian and vows to figure out who put it there, asking mythland’s spies to help him do so -he brews some awkward splash potions, and brings them to the summoning circle; possessed sausage appears and converts them to splash potions of sleep -joey arrives, and they meet with xornoth to discuss the plan; it says to do what they like with gem but leave scott alive, as it’ll deal with him later and he’s part of a larger plan -they ambush gem and scott in rivendell and bring them to sausage’s dungeon, where they say that they know what the two are planning and start by demanding what gem is planning with the egg; she and scott say that it’s a baby and might not even hatch, but joey claims it isn’t worth the risk -gem tells sausage he isn’t a real wizard, and he kills her with the staff, followed by joey also killing her -they interrogate scott about his relation to xornoth, but decide they think he can go as he’s not as much of a danger; however, they change their mind when he says he’ll still banish xornoth -gem: “scott, maybe say less words” -they decide they have enough information and leave them in the dungeon, confident that they won’t escape; joey leaves -sausage gets bad omen from a pillager patrol and starts a raid at jimmy’s after killing the cow he was attempting to milk; possessed sausage appears briefly to comment on it and say that he’ll leave it for jimmy -he meets up with pearl to build the arena, and she comments on the corrupted tree which wasn’t there when they were building; he doesn’t know where it came from but thinks it’s probably xornoth and says he’ll blow it up later -mid-arena fight, possessed sausage appears, and pearl manages to kill him. shortly after respawning, he’s back to normal and has no memory of the end of the fight

shubble 18 (written by frog):

-Shubble builds her castle -She accidentally start a raid, though she manages to safely lock away her singular villager -She shows off her custom textured parrot, which looks like a woodpecker. -One of the pillagers manages to get into her mooshroom farm, but she successfully kills them while keeping some of the livestock alive. -She successfully defeats the raid, checking on the villager, who is still alive. -She asks the villager if he would like to be imbued with the spirits of the Undergrove. She stresses the fact that this is an optional change, and takes the villager’s actions to mean that they consent to this change. -She then ‘imbues the villager with a forest spirit’, using a nametag to change their skin to one that resembles a wooden golem. -She explains that the lore for her villagers and golems is that they are wood carvings that she imbues with forest spirits to give them life, bringing said spirits from the spirit plane into this plane. -The one villager that she had was a special case since Xornoth had summoned him for her to kill, which she had refused. -The villager, hilariously, ends up changing his job several times throughout the course of the episode. -Out of RP, Shelby comments on how it would be hilarious if Xornoth dressed as her for Halloween, since he seems to be obsessed with her. -She continues on building her castle. -She ends up accidentally using one of the two totems she gained from the raid, passing it off by saying she says she did this to attach her life to her kingdom symbolically.

fwhip 22:

-he decides that he needs to work more on protecting the grimlands, and starts by working on the mountain range -he talks with joey, who wants to know why there’s no corruption, and is offended when he says he composted it; joey claims it’s sacrilegious and kills him -he heads over to rivendell to build an embassy, hoping to retain some of his alliances -with that done, he relocates his gunpowder into his enderchest to avoid thieves, hoping to control the flow of gunpowder to xornoth’s supporters, but plans to build a vault to free up space in the enderchest -since it will be made out of copper, he meets up with pixlriffs, who explains that the corruption is damaged by copper; pixl also shows him the copper aging facility and gives him three and a half stacks of copper, but explains he now has his own supply when fwhip offers gunpowder to trade, and asks for information instead -pixl also shows him the farm he created from xornoth’s lava, and fwhip asks for his help on a heist; he agrees -fwhip: “you’re a fan of a heist, right?” -pix: “you had me at heist.” -fwhip describes his plan to bury elder guardians under mythland, and returns home to work on his stonemason population while they wait for sausage to log off -he provides blaze rods to pay for the copper, and goes with pix to find sponges; after some mishaps, they clear the sponge room and fwhip goes to dry out the rooms holding the elder guardians so that pixl can send them into the nether -they put an elder guardian in the blood well and another in sausage’s dungeon, but when attempting to put the third guardian underneath his iron form it dies, and they decide two is enough -he returns to the grimlands and begins creating a tinkerer’s forge, in order to build weapons and materials which can even the playing field between them and xornoth’s supporters -he takes advantage of the crystals xornoth left to use the lava as a power source for the forge, as well as getting more red glass since he’d been running low -he builds several towers to go near the forge and discusses his future plans to build an alchemical warehouse leading from the railroads that are connected to the forge -he starts work on a communal sugar cane paddy between his base and shubble’s to try and remedy his lack of sugar cane and provide a natural barrier between the two empires

joel 20:

-joel kills some horses for the intro, and explains he spent a long time gathering materials (and also broke a netherite shovel) -he decides to build the other half of the megabuild, which takes him three days irl, and finishes the other large towers -after cleaning up some missing trapdoors he shows it off with shaders and notes that the only major missing pieces are the walls and the central tower -before he can work on those, he plans on building a super-smelter -he comments on the corrupted trees and crystals from xornoth, but reaffirms that he doesn’t believe in the demon and therefore they aren’t actually there -he displays the creeper he’s trapped in a boat, wanda the watcher -joel says that because the demon’s not real, he needs to spice things up, and plans to write a diss track on fwhip with jimmy’s help, to which he agrees -to end the episode, he leaves pixl a note and some terracotta asking to arrange a meeting so he can get some copper

pearl 8:

-she notes that the beanstalk has grown, and partially absorbed one of the corruption tendrils, which she doesn’t think is good; she also plans to build on the beanstalk when it’s big enough -she decides to build a cactus farm, and notices the addition of the crystals -possessed sausage comes to welcome her to the dark alliance; she says she would like to play more games with xornoth and challenge it, but she doesn’t want to be evil -she tells him that he’s possessed and needs help; he denies it and says that it’s just his morning voice -he proposes the idea of a fighting arena, to which she agrees, but reminds him that she wants to challenge xornoth without being evil; when he threatens the others, she insists they’re not killing anyone -he again says it’s his morning voice and leaves while she tells him that she’s worried and she didn’t agree to killing people -sausage returns, this time unpossessed, and doesn’t remember being there the first time but he again says it was his morning voice, and deflects when she tries to ask about it -he agrees again to the idea of a fighting arena, but says he didn’t come up with it; he says “help” and flies off, and pearl says she needs to work on cultivating her plant in order to help him -she discusses sausage and again says she wants to fight, not be evil, and says she’ll pretend to be in the evil alliance to try and make him good again and help him fight the possession -they build the arena, and pearl comments on the fact that the corrupted tree doesn’t fit with the arena -they fight in the arena, and sausage is possessed mid-battle; when he does, the video takes on a red tint, which clears when she kills him; when he returns to normal, he doesn’t remember it, and she claims his bloodlust took over, and warns him to be careful -he mentions that he has scott and gem in his dungeon, and goes to check, but the cells are empty, and she wonders if she needs backup or if she could convince sausage to let them out

joey 20:

-he plans to kill jimmy for freeing gem and scott, and says he needs an army since sausage is his only ally -he’s found a spell to turn a horse into a terrifying creature, so he needs a horse -he sees that there’s been more corruption, and finds it beautiful, but he’s jealous that fwhip received more; he distracts himself by going to find a horse, but can’t find one -he notices the dragons at gem’s tower, and is angry that they’re there but says they spark a memory from a past life which he can’t quite recall -he bumps into scott, who says this is his village, and warns him away from hurting jimmy, but points him in the direction of horses -he finds a horse, and isn’t able to bring it down to xornoth’s den; he does tell xornoth he needs his magical abilities to convert the horse, and turns the horse into a raptor, and also plans to get more raptors once he has a place to keep them -he goes to the nether to get ancient debris, because scott insulted his bow for being basic, which he admits is true, and then remembers that netherite bows don’t exist; instead, he goes to ask xornoth for a better bow, which it provides -because scott isn’t online to show the bow to, he goes to show the raptor to shubble, intending to scare her; she denies any responsibility for the wolf spirit’s messages, which he clearly doesn’t believe

sausage 32:

-the episode opens on a flashback to 3 months prior and narration by an unnamed figure who refers to him as “our king” and discusses sausage’s destiny, and claims to have been making sure he followed the right path -sausage says he can’t take this much longer, and he’s losing track of time; he also says that his death will come sooner or later, and he’s learned to just deal with it -he decides to spare a wandering trader because they sold miniature tnt, but he’s briefly possessed and kills them; when he returns to normal he assumes they left -he takes food down to gem and scott, and discovers that they’re no longer there; he states revenge is coming -he feeds bubbles and the general, and learns jimmy freed the prisoners, and added more height to his wall; he says he’s going to snap and goes to the cod empire, where he explains some of the possession and how he started a raid, and jimmy demands he replace his villagers, which sausage agrees to -he is possessed, and confronts jimmy about releasing gem and scott and making his wall taller than sausage’s; jimmy says he wants the old sausage back, and sausage he’ll never see him back again before he tries to kill him and leaves villager heads on chains where his villagers were -he meets up with pearl to distribute invitations to the arena; first they go to fwhip, who threatens them with a bow and demands to know what they want. he and fwhip shoot each other a few times, and he listens to pearl’s pitch before he and pearl decide they should leave -they head to joey’s empire, and confirm they didn’t place the mushrooms that are everywhere and invite him to the arena. he agrees to come -they leave an invitation at gem’s tower, and sausage takes one of the swords on her wall despite pearl’s discouragement -they also leave an invitation for scott, and pearl again says they need to cure sausage: he says “one day this’ll be all over” -katherine, pixl, lizzie, joel, and jimmy are left invitations as well -they give shubble an invitation and initially claim it’s for a party, sausage mentions an underground betting ring he’s going to run and a “special guest” who they claim isn’t xornoth -he also asks her about the wolf spirit, who she says must not be one of the emperors -sausage hides gem’s sword in one of the barrels, and is briefly possessed- pearl has him drink milk in an attempt to cure it, which fails, and he again says normal sausage is gone -as revenge for the elder guardians, he builds an embassy uninvited in pixandria, which includes some kind of “special treat”

joel 21:

-joel decides not to work on the megabase, as he did a lot of it last episode -he goes to scare lizzie, which fails, and asks her for a line for the diss track -he says he wants to build a relaxing place to write it, and takes down one of the tentacles to make room for another building; it turns out to be a mezalean record shop -he does some terraforming and builds the record shop; he writes the diss track, and goes to meet with pixl for copper; he mentions that there’s a new building from sausage, which pix hadn’t noticed. there is a perpetual bell-ringing device inside, and pixl enters, but joel cuts there, saying that it’ll be better to watch pixl’s video -he makes “the demon’s worst nightmare” which is an efficiency 5 hoe, though he still insists the demon doesn’t exist and someone is trolling him -he and jimmy go to perform the diss track on fwhip, which is actually a “kiss” track instead, and they agree to kill scott together sometime; jimmy says he can’t because he and scott just became allies

[afoxysunny]

Alright this is gonna be a long one so my apologies in advance, idk how to do a "read more" cut on mobile

So like i asked avout in my previous post this is my thoughts on what fnaf animatronic each Lazytown character would like best if the freddy fazbear franchise was an actual chain in the Lazytown universe (i know, oddly specific)

So I'm thinking we'll start with Ladys First and then go down in a somewhat but not really organized manner

Stephanie: Funtime Foxy

How convenient that Funtime Foxy has pink in their design, that's a little bonus for our Pinky.

Furthermore i choose this pair bc it makes a lot of sense in relation to other picks i made which will make sense to you if you're familiar with fnaf (namely Ella, Trixie, Sportacus and Robby all have a fav that relates to Funtime Foxy in some)

Also Funtime Foxy always had that toss-up if they count as a female or male animatronic and with Stephanie's wild mix of stereotypically male and female interests and hobbies it's a match made in heaven

(also, totally throwing shade, if i was going by the way Steph is portrayed in later seasons her fav would just be Chica bc girl. Yes that's how shallow i feel like they made her, I'm no small part salty)

Ella: Balora

Very obvious choice here for the ballet motive in both characters

But also because Balora is blind and i always headcanon Ella as mute so i think she'd relate to an also slightly impeded character

Balora also has that creepy can-walk-on-walls-like-a-spider thing going on if she's removed from her track and Ella likes to hide a very mischievious side behind her cute exterior so they just overall vibe

Trixie: Lolbit

That way the two best friends have matching Animatronics, yeey

Lolbit was also originally planned to be really important for the lore of the games but ended up totally shafted and barely appearing at all in the end. But if and when she was in a game she got a special and unique role and that's juat totally Trixie

Stingy: Golden Freddy

Goooooold

Also Golden Freddy is a one of a kind, unique, only exists once, special Freddy and our greedy boi would be all over that

Honorable mention: Pigpatch

The others keep telling Stingy that he can't have more than one fav so he just started telling them that Pigpatch is his Piggy's fav and bc he speaks for his Piggy he gets to have two favs and the others just grew too tired to debate that so checkmate)

Ziggy: Candycadet

Another really obvious pick, he gives out candy after all!

Plus that animatronic is not as big or bulky or heavy or anything like the others so the little coward is less intimidated by it and he feels less small next to it too

But if he's pressed to pick a fav from the main line animatronics to fit the other kids' picks he also does enjoy Bonnie a lot (he grew to like that one bc of Sportacus' pick)

Pixel: Freddy

Pixel is just the kind of kid to root for the hero, he likes the main characters best so of course his fav is the franchise mascot!

I'd also like to say tho that if it wasn't a "normal pizzeria" to the kids he'd love Ennard for the really cool mechanical robotic look that one has

On to the adults!

Bessy: Phone Guy

She probably always says picking a fav is childish and therefore refuses to answer the question outright but every time they go to a pizzeria she ends up endlessly talking to those pre-recorded tapes that are actually just meant to rattle off rules for kids who can't read yet

Robbie: Foxy

He's a meme! He's a pirate! There's so many reasons for this pick

Foxy only moves when you don't pay enough attention to him but once he gets going there's basically no stopping him

Also both of them chose to live seperated from all the others and alone far away from the main stages

And Foxes hunt Bunnies which leads me to

Sportacus: Toy Bonnie

He's blue! He's slick! Another one with a lot of great reasons imo

Bonnie also plays electric guitar.

And as a bunny he'd jump around a lot

And he's one of the most modern animatronics

Do i need to say more?

Milford: nope

He honestly finds all the animatronics really unsettling and creepy but bc the kids love it there he also had to spend a lot of time at Freddy's and specifically the one we know as Sister Location so he grew to appreciate Funtime Freddy.

He's a little related to Stephanie's fav

The funtime version isn't such a top dog as the other Freddys which makes Milford feel less under pressure somehow

And the little Bonbon plushy on his hand reminds him of Bessy bc its blue and she likes bunnies a lot

BONUS ROUND

Glanni: Springtrap!

It's criminal - criminal solidarity

Yes i know he shouldn't technically know about him if they aren't ganes but establishments but Glanni breaks the fourth wall a bunch and he deserves the deranged weirdo as his fav.

Springtrap could canonically be a cryptic creepypasta like ghoststory people who outgrow the kids friendly pizzeria branding tell each other

Both stole suits they wear for all eternity to torment kids with, it's a great match

Also he picked that one to mess with his Sports Elf

Íþróttaálfurinn (GGíL) : Spring Bonnie

Aka Golden Bonnie

The not fucked up version of Springtrap

the colors match you guys, it's funny

And Spring Bonnie was one of the OG animatronics that helped make the franchise what it is today. He may be outdated and a little rough around the edges but he's beloved by older fans still

Íþróttaálfurinn (ÁL) : the Puppet

Aka Marionette

The unintentionally creepiest animatronic

Means really well but the means it goes to to help the dead kids out were questionable at best; i think he can identify with that xD

If anyone knows about the violence this franchise holds then it would definitely be him but he's not gonna tell anyone bc fear burns calories and makes people jump and run away. He sees this as an absolute win

Also the Puppet jumps out of a box and loud music starts playing, it really fits that weird elf

[pyrrhiccomedy]

the People have requested my book report on The Library at Mt. Char so this is now a Mt Char book club.

if you have not read The Library at Mt Char there is no reason to keep reading. I hope you're having a nice day, stay safe and don't do drugs.

So Mt Char has a couple of problems, but in my opinion only one grave problem.

Not a grave problem:

Erwin doesn't need to be in this book. An astonishing amount of ink is spilled on giving us Erwin's POV and I am at a loss in regards to what that's supposed to bring to the story. I mean, it's kind of neat to see Carolyn's "trick shot" from the POV of one of the people being manipulated, but that perspective could have just been provided by Steve. Everything Erwin does of any plot significance could have been done by Steve, a character who actually matters.

Please note that I don't hate Erwin, he's perfectly fine as characters go, he just contributes nothing, and it is baffling that he and Carolyn get the last scene in the book (instead of just ending on her reunion with Michael, a scene that was emotionally affecting and felt like a natural end point to her story). We are taking no questions, Erwin needed to be cut.

Also not a grave problem in my opinion, but I am sure others feel differently and I understand why they would:

Yo, the scope of what the catalogs cover is mad vague. I mean, I get that that's the point: when you have a character whose magic powers are "anything that has to do with death or murder," that's a broad license, and I'm fine with that. These are supposed to be demi-gods. I don't require a rigorously explicated magic system.

But then like...why can't Jennifer, the healer, also heal minds? That seems weird. Or like, it's implied that she kinda can, maybe, but none of the kids talk about their therapy sessions with Jennifer: they explicitly call out that she heals their bodies. But then she talks about how Margaret and David are sick (meaning mentally) in a way she can "no longer help?" Aren't you supposed to be the God Of Healing? Why can't you help anymore? And were you actually trying to help them before - or anyone else? That's never shown. You could have just said you only healed bodies, not minds, but then it's repeatedly implied that she CAN diagnose mental and emotional problems (and therefore should probably be able to do something about them).

So that's weird.

Or like, why is there Alicia, who "sees the future," and Rachel, who "sees possible futures?" That, uh, just sounds like the author was running out of ideas. Also, if Alicia could see the future, she probably shouldn't have been in that house when the SWAT team hit, yeah?

Stuff like that. The magic the kids can do is very "they have the powers the author needs them to have when the author needs them to have them, and they can't do anything the author would find inconvenient for them to do" but that's not a deal breaker for me because overall the vibe being put off by their various magical specialties works for me. Still, there were ways of getting us where we needed to go without begging quite so many questions.

Also not a grave problem, although more of a problem than the other stuff:

You know that anime trope where a super-genius character is having an entire conversation with another super-genius character through a screen, and it's revealed that the whole conversation was a distraction and pre-recorded so that Character 2 could Complete His Scheme against Character 1? And used his super-genius brain to predict every single thing Character 1 would say? And your suspension of disbelief staggers bloodied into the alleyway and collapses because you're really trying to hang in there, Code Geass, but that's fucking stupid, you're asking for me to believe that this character's intelligence is flat-out supernatural now and you've given me no reason why that should be?

That's how I feel about Carolyn, by the time she takes over the Library. Like, okay. The kids canonically have not even been at the Library long enough for any of them to master their catalogues except for Jennifer. None of them but Jennifer are masters of even their own subject.

Carolyn has been studying in secret from multiple catalogues - which is cool! I like how she slowly reveals over the course of the latter half of the book that she has powers from other people's specialties.

...But like...

She seems close to mastering her own catalogue. She is a competent healer and can raise the dead (Jennifer's catalogue). She can block attempts to read her mind, beats David in a fight, and understands how to kill Father (David's catalogue). She speaks lion and controls the dogs that surround the Library (Michael's catalogue). She could make the mathy "Denial That Rends" thing that kicks off the whole plot, and she can make a new sun and correct orbital rotations around it (Peter's catalogue). She can predict the future with such specificity that she knows how to cause Steve to drop a clip of bullets while he's being attacked by dogs exactly where Erwin will need to pick it up later (Rachel's catalogue, also this one is stupid, she could have just given Erwin an extra clip or something, but whatever).

That's half the catalogues. Carolyn doesn't seem prodigiously more intelligent than the other kids. She's smart, sure, but they're all weird demi-gods with a genius for their specialties. The rest of them haven't even mastered their own catalogue, and I'm supposed to swallow that Carolyn has attained 'competent or better' status in six? When she has to research five of them in secret? Without falling behind in her own studies?

It would be fine if they had all been masters of their own catalogues for years and years; that would mean they would begin to stagnate, while Carolyn kept learning. But that's not the case. By the end I wasn't impressed anymore at Carolyn's resourcefulness, it just felt like she could do anything and everything, shh, don't ask questions, she's the Chosen One so she just can.

The reason this isn't a grave problem to me is because Carolyn's journey isn't about becoming more powerful: it's about her emotional journey, which isn't affected by her being stupidly OP for no reason by the end of the book. She still sucked at the things that mattered, like "feelings" and "relationships" and "not being a shitty person." But I do think it hurt the story. I should be cheering on my protagonist when her wild schemes come together, not rolling my eyes.

Anyway. All that was the aperitif. Let's talk about

THE GRAVE AND GLARING PROBLEM AT THE CENTER OF MT CHAR.

So everything that happens in the book stems from Carolyn's thoroughly justified hatred of Father (and David, but David was made that way by Father). Father treated her, and all of the other kids, with extravagant cruelty. If you haven't read the book in a while, here's a sample of the kinds of things Father did to the kids, or, if David did them, that Father did nothing to prevent:

- Cooked David alive over 2 full days in a giant bronze bull (and made the rest of the kids bring the fuel)

- Put Michael's eyes out with a hot poker every night for 2 weeks (and made the rest of the kids watch)

- Murdered Margaret every few days, often in drawn-out and painful ways

- Made Rachel repeatedly give birth, raise the babies to about 9 months, then murder them with her own hands

- Allowed David to rape all 11 of the other kids (except Jennifer, probably because she was the healer and he wanted to stay on her good side)

- Allowed David to crucify, brutalize and rape Carolyn and Peter

- Gave Carolyn a loving new family for a year when she was nine years old (those two deer), then had David murder them in front of her and blame it on her for not remembering her homework well enough, then served the two deer at a feast to 'celebrate' her returning to the family

- Whippings, skinnings, and bone-breakings as standard disciplinary actions

Whoo-ee! Okay! We are talking about mythological cruelty. I am fine with this! The story takes place on a mythological scale. As outlandish as all of that is, the cruelty feels proportionate in a story about killing and replacing god. Father is cruel, indifferent, controlling, and alien. I have no questions, Carolyn please proceed with your revenge. We seemed on track for a tale in which Carolyn defeats Father, but in doing so she runs the risk of becoming him. Will she step back from the brink and retain her humanity after all of the trauma and brutality she's endured? Let's find out!

And then

and then.

Oh boy.

And then.

...It turns out, Father is a good guy after all.

And let me be clear: THIS IS NOT, IN AND OF ITSELF, A PROBLEM.

By the time you learn that Father is actually benevolent, and loved those kids, and cares about being a responsible steward to the world, and tried to leave the universe a better place than he found it, and genuinely regretted the suffering he inflicted on them when they were growing up, it feels kind of...natural? Like, I was surprised, but also not, because there were 90 pages of book left and Carolyn had already become god. This seemed like a thematically meaningful place to take the rest of the story.

It turns out Father was training Carolyn to replace him the entire time. He had to make her hate David because it was important that she "defeat a monster" on her path to becoming god. (It's not explained why she had to defeat a monster, but sure, okay; it's the kind of mythic feat that fits with the story we're in.)

Why did he choose Carolyn to be his successor? Well, originally he chose David, but David wasn't strong enough: every time Carolyn was the monster in David's story, she defeated him, and went on to rule the universe as an unspeakable tyrant. Since Carolyn always won, Father swapped their roles. He knew he had made the right choice when he put David into the bronze bull, and heard David begging for mercy: because when Carolyn had been the fated monster, she had never begged.

...Okay, so...hang on.

Hang on.

The only rule that we've established on "how to become god" is "you have to defeat a monster," right? I'll even grant you for free that it has to be a monster who is personally meaningful to you, although that part is never stated. Overcoming a great evil which has cast you down and abused you many times before, sure, okay.

...Why the FUCK did all that other awful shit have to happen??

I did not have this question when Father was just evil! That was a good enough explanation! But now that he's not evil, you HAVE TO EXPLAIN why he treated all of the kids so brutally!

Like dude you're GOD. If you need a monster for Carolyn, I'm sure you can make that happen without TORTURING CHILDREN FOR DECADES.

There didn't even need to be any other children! You could have two kids: the languages-kid, who is the chosen one (the chosen one has to be the languages-kid so they can read the Onyx Codex or whatever it was called at the end, the one written by Original God), and the war-and-murder kid, who is the monster. They could have just been forbidden to read the other codices, if it's important to you that your chosen one still prove her resourcefulness or whatever.

Why include all of the other kids??? It wasn't to give your chosen one a sense of family: Carolyn didn't feel close to any of them except for Michael (who I liked, but whose contribution to the plot was negligible).

Or keep the kids! But then why make them, and Carolyn, hate you?? You could just say, "Hey Carolyn, I am raising you to be my successor, you have to figure it out yourself because part of proving your worthiness is this kind of abstract, big-picture thinking, but I love you and whatever you end up deciding to do, just believe in yourself." And meanwhile you're off torturing the fated monster in order to get him piping hot and ready to be served.

Was the idea that Carolyn had to endure so much horror in order to prove she was 'tough enough' to be god?? Because that's not how trauma works! Kids who have been brutally traumatized are usually not made tougher by the experience! A fact that even the book understands, because 10 of the 12 kids are completely destroyed by their upbringing (I'm giving marginal exceptions to Michael and Carolyn herself).

And like

if Father doesn't have a good reason for having treated them so badly, the whole book falls apart!

Because getting revenge for that cruelty is Carolyn's whole motivation!

We are clearly supposed to feel okay about Father going to make a new universe at the end of the book: he's going with his cool tiger friend and that little girl with the connection to the elemental plane of joy who used to be the sun, he's happy to see Carolyn embracing compassion and kindness, which means he cares about compassion and kindness. He invented light and pleasure. Carolyn does nothing to try to stop him from going. He seems like a pretty good candidate for god. And I do feel okay with him leaving! I was convinced! Father is not evil after all!

But then you have! to explain! the abuse!!

It can be a throwaway line!! "Carolyn realized that everything she and her siblings went through had to happen the way it did, because [X]," embedded in the middle of a paragraph! That would have been enough! But I need an explanation!

"They were raised the way Father was raised himself" WHY? He was raised by the Emperor, an on-the-record awful fucking dude! Father proceeded to rule the universe in a far more benevolent way than the Emperor did, why would he feel like he had to raise his kids the way the Emperor raised him?

"Carolyn needed to overcome challenges on her path to godhood" how is TRAUMATIZING HER SO BADLY SHE ALMOST BECOMES INHUMAN - SOMETHING YOU WERE OSTENSIBLY TRYING TO PREVENT, see Steve being preserved as something that could give her hope, etc - A "CHALLENGE??"

Again, none of this is a problem if Father is just evil! YOU CHOSE to make him not evil! And that's fine!! I think it's a good choice for the story actually!! But then you have to, you have to, HAVE TO explain why all of that bad shit happened!

Because all of that bad shit is the reason Carolyn made there be a story.

And it turns out it doesn't make sense.