#there's nothing to blame and nothing to hate and nothing to use to try and replace the hurt with disappointment or frustration
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nightingale-prompts · 3 days ago
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Do NOT Touch a God- DC x DP Prompt (Tim x Danny)
Correction: don't touch Danny.
A rule has been added to the house rules of Titans Tower. It started after the arrival of the summoning of the interdimensional teen that takes residence there.
Despite being only a teenager the power he held was at the level of a god. He causally reshaped reality around him to his liking. Rooms are made bigger on the inside but remain the same outside. Danny's hate for things getting too dirty made all clothes left on the floor for too long disappear into the laundry room and spilled drinks evaporate. The tower became self-cleaning as everything found its place on its own. Danny said it was just what he prefers, lab safety and all that. Sometimes Danny would turn off gravity, no reason be just likes it like that.
Unfortunately, he doesn't go on missions except for extreme situations where he is needed. He is content to spend his time in the med bay as the resident healer. He is also one of the few that can fix up Cyborg. Danny doesn't get involved unnecessarily. This has led to a few arguments in the past over how unhelpful he can be despite being able to help them. Danny shrugs it off and disappears when it happens. It was not fair on him, if he didn't want to fight he shouldn't have to. He was an asset and he offered his help freely.
So why does the No Touch rule exist? Well, Danny doesn't like touching people. He wears gloves for a reason especially when he is working in the bay fixing up everyone after a mission. He also avoids others touching him, shrinking away when someone tried.
Everyone respected that boundary but after a rough mission in particular Kon started an argument with him. The injuries were severe and he was just mad that M'gann was hurt. Danny was already overwhelmed with healing everyone and Kon seemed to strike a nerve. When Kon almost made contact with him Danny flickered out of existence and reappeared further away.
After several hours of fixing broken bones and open wounds Danny retreated.
Tim decided to check on him later. Kon was sorry for overreacting and blaming Danny for something he couldn't control but Danny probably didn't want to see him right now.
Danny looked worse for wear when he opened the door. He looked tired, weary from using his energy. He wrapped a blanket around himself.
They talked for a while. Mostly about nothing important, other times about how stressful things were right now.
Tim often found it hard to believe that Danny wasn't just a normal teen. Then again, what did he know about normal?
But he had wondered something.
He reached out and tried to hold Danny's hand but Danny moved away quickly noticing.
"You shouldn't do that." He said simply.
Had he been Dick he would repect the boundaries and if he was Jason he'd probably agree. But he was Tim and Tim was very bad at boundaries. That's kind of how he got here.
"Why not?" Tim asked.
"It might be too much," Danny said cautiously eyeing Tim who held his hands up.
"Try me."
Danny sighed and removed one of his gloves and touched his hand to Tim's shoulder.
All at once different sensations filled his senses. A comforting touch of a friend, a light fluttering of a passing stranger on the street, a strike of a hated rival, the steady hand of a family member, the playful tap of a classmate, the caress of a lover...all at once. Each feeling is defined but also blurred. It was almost like being pulled in thousands of directions as they tried to claim a part of Tim into their reality.
A single touch sent him into a trace. When Danny pulled away he expected to have broken Tim like how a child accidentally snaps their toys when playing. He knew his touch could overwhelm people almost to death. Clockwork said he'd be able to control it some day but Danny didn't even want to test it. Being able to fracture someone's mind was scary. Seeing it happen once was enough. So why did he try it on Tim? Did he not care what happened to him?
It's a bit selfish and embarrassing to admit but...not being able to touch another person was awful. He's not clingy but it feels like he has lacked sensation for a long time. Tim willingly asked for this and Danny wanted this as well.
Tim wasn't broken. Infact he had never felt more alive. When Danny removed his hand he found himself pulling it back to him. He couldn't explain it but it felt like...everything. Indescribable but amazing. It was contradictory but all of it made sense.
"Do it again!"
Things kind of escalated from there. It would probably be crass to even say it but let's just say that neither was lacking sensation. It was profound, not purely physical nor emotional, something else entirely. The religious sort would call it divine or a blessing, perhaps it was what heaven feels like. Others would call it sinful, partaking in things no human was meant to know or experience. The folly of humanity.
It was certainly addictive though. Whispered words echoed in every tongue. With every contact a new chorus created. The memories of long dead god flashed and worlds yet unawakened showed themselves. And just when it seemed like everything in the universe had collided and finally made sense...it was over.
There was a knock on the door.
Danny managed to roll the breathless, Tim off with a groan. He stretched feeling a bit locked up. He had been holding each other for a while now.
He opened the door and saw Kon standing there nervously.
"Look, Im sorr-"
"Danny?" Tim called out groggily interrupting whatever Kon was saying.
"I'm busy," Danny said quickly closing the door to go back to...you know.
(So were they having sex or just cuddling? I have no fucking idea and I wrote this. I feel like it's a secret third that is somehow worse.)
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systenowy-blog · 2 days ago
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I remember us crying so hard we muffled the sound by biting our palm or choked, we felt like our heart is going to explode, didn't hear or see the surroundings...
and then it all was stopping - we were exhausted. Usually someone else fronted to calm the body down. That terrible silence with tears still falling down with a feeling of worry for another part of us, with anger and sadness over what happened to them, detached from it due to dissociation in a way like when you know your family member suffers but you still remember it as you have the same eyes and brain. Shaking, maybe having an attack but not as much as them, not being able to escape this body and memories/thoughts, hearing them in head space screaming like they're still tortured, having intrusive thoughts to end it all.
Don't tell me it didn't happen, don't tell me we overreact, don't tell me it was different from your perspective - I don't care.
I hate our abusers. I wish I could help more.
I can't even fully feel happiness as an alter because of those assholes from the past - you ruined us and pretend it was nothing, you're not sorry, you didn't fix it.
We still wake up from nightmares, we still have flashbacks, we still can be triggered from trauma even if some things are not as vivid as it was, even if there are rare amnesia gaps, even if we think we're over it or blame ourselves trying to believe it wasn't as bad - we never fully be ok "thanks" to you.
Oh... but I'm not thankful... I'm pissed - picking them up from the floor, laying us down in bed, holding them while they take a bus, switching to save them from sh, talking them through another break down - you weren't there, you didn't saw it, you will never understand
but we will try to keep them safe this time...
Soprano
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after the fire by Ada Limón
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itstheval · 3 days ago
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Memory of Dreary Days / Siffrin Gets An Earring
A @livesworthlivingau Side Story
It was a lovely autumn day, and Siffrin was miserable.
This wasn't anything new, they'd come to realize. The events of Dormont had changed - and possibly Changed - them, but that was months ago, a little over a year now. No, this frustration was newer, possibly the last few months, but they'd managed to identify it over time.
They watched Mirabelle and Isabeau, in front of them, chatting about what Changes they might want to make in the future. Isabeau had a whole list of ideas, but Mirabelle was being more cautious, as usual. Odile was watching and writing, and Bonbon, they were sitting on Nille's shoulders as both of them added their two coins when they had an idea. Leaving you, Siffrin the Traveler, as an outsider. Again.
It wasn't their fault, you knew it. You were empty inside, and this entire adventure you were on was to fill you. That was something the doctor had mentioned, that you seemed to agree with…You didn't have a past, so they were making you one, because they wanted you to. So why were you being talked over, and around? Why were they treating you like a pet, not someone with their own ideas?
The only thing worse than knowing it was it being known, unfortunately. It seemed like they came to a pause in conversation, and Isabeau looked back as though remembering you existed after so long ignoring you.
"What about you, Sif? Got any ideas for big Changes?"
You could laugh. You could sob. You remembered being as large as the sky, and just as filled with stars. You pictured yourself, star-headed and lightless-skinned.
"I don't think so! That's a Vaugardian thing, isn't it?"
The words were more bitter than you imagined them to be, and the second they left your lips you knew that they were wrong. A second after, you told yourself otherwise. "Words can't be wrong", the doctor had said, "If you mean them. You're trying to express yourself, not win a game." Well, from the way everyone else's faces fell, that was good, because you'd have just lost hard.
"That doesn't mean you can't Change! There's Houses everywhere that will take you in and help you, too."
"Yes," Odile continued. "I've thought of using them myself, during my time here, but I never had time to stay in one place, what with…everything."
"Really, madame? You're so pretty! What would you even change?"
And the conversation was off again…Odile explaining her heritage yet again, too-thick hair and too-wide eyes for ka bue, too-thin eyes and too-thin hair for Vaugarde. You wondered, sometimes, if Ka Buans had thought she was as pretty as Vaugardians do. You wonder, in the moment, if they'd bother talking to you again.
They hadn't.
You'd caught Isabeau looking over at you, with something more thoughtful than pity, but you could see the pity in it. Whatever he had in his mind, it wasn't enough to make him ask about anywhere else, or change the subject. Quietly, you thought about how much nicer it would've been if you'd just gone for a comfortable lie instead.
▬▬▬
It was a rainy, autumnal day, and Siffrin was bored.
It wasn't anyone's fault, everyone knew that was just what happened in Autumn. You found somewhere to stay until the rains ended, or you trudged through the worst mud that you could imagine. Bored or miserable, and to the family the choice was obvious. Siffrin had been…letting themself think of them that way for a while, even without telling them. Their little secret. Maybe not their family, but they were the family, and nobody could blame him for that, right? Watching Mira read to Bonbon, watching Isa and Nille talking about, of all things, carpentry, and Madame writing in those inscrutable books of hers.
You hated it. You hated listening to it, you hated being part of it, and you hated being trapped in it. It was nothing like the loops, you knew, but it was almost worse in its way. Watching everyone else with a role, with something to do, and you off to the side like some pet. You'd already napped yourself dry, and nobody had begrudged you sleeping through breakfast, even if it meant you were likely to stay up well after the candles were out at night. But the rest of your day…
You sighed. Sitting there wasn't going to make you any happier, and you'd already looked at all of the books Mira had brought with her. You'd read through the horror stories until they started showing up in your dreams, when Mirabelle had banned you from reading any more of them because of how you'd been whimpering in your sleep. Isa had tried to defend your right to read, but the looks Odile had given him had made him blush in a peculiar way and stop trying, and that had been the end of it. The less said about the romances, the better. You understood that Vaugarde was an open place, but the things they dreamt up to keep two people from each other felt so cliched, so unreal, so impossible that you couldn't get into them.
So, you laid there, in a bed, in a wooden room, staring at the ceiling until the morning came.
How familiar.
That thought sent a shudder down your spine that you knew everyone noticed, but you got out of bed before any of them could comment on it. No, you were dealing with this. You weren't being dealt with, not this time. You hopped up, and walked over to Odile, who closed her book as you approached.
"What could you be writing down now?" you found it in you to ask. "Vaugardian rainy-day games? I thought you were a master at those." The joking tone managed to reach your voice, you thought, and you were glad for it.
"Oh, I wasn't writing at all. Believe it or not, I'm designing something."
"Designing?" The surprise in your voice was clear.
"Well yes. You have your woodcarving…Or had it, when we were near forested areas enough to find scrapwood. Mirabelle has her writing. I thought I should perhaps try my hands at something creative."
"Oh, can I see?" This was WAY more interesting than laying in bed!
"If you can guess what it is, then yes. It wasn't fair that I didn't get to see your face when my research was revealed, after all." Her smile was coy and knowing, but she did, ultimately, have a point.
"Oh, is it…" You looked around, trying to think of what could be in the room that she could draw inspiration from.
"Clothesmaking? Like Isa plans to?"
"Nice try, young one. But that's your one try for the day." Odile's eyes turned up as she thought about the idea. "Besides, do you think I'd compete with Isabeau? In something he's planned for that long?"
You had to concede the point.
▬▬▬
"Carpentry?"
"Can you imagine me swinging a hammer, Siffrin? I know my limits, and they stop well before there."
▬▬▬
"Bookbinding!" You thought for sure you had her on that one. Something to do with her precious books, and something she could study from Mira's colleciton and her own?
"Sadly, no. But, now that you mention it, maybe I should."
▬▬▬
So the days had passed, until things were clear again. The world was colder now, and you could feel it around your cloak, but everyone was well prepared for it. You'd all gotten your own instructions on what to purchase, and been sent off to pick up supplies, which had taken the whole day between bartering and transporting. Thakfully, without Mira there you managed to get a Savior of Vaugarde Discount, and used the extra coin to pick up a pain au chocolat. Some things, it seemed, were eternal, and this one you didn't mind.
So it was that you returned to the inn, one hand with a canvas bag full of smaller bags, spices and flour and other things for Bonbon, the other letting you munch away happily, but you found yourself pausing outside the door. Something was wrong, you could feel it. You finished your treat quickly, and opened the door with a hand on your dagger. A pre-feeling, something that you couldn't put words to, told you that there was something going on beyond the door
You were right.
But not how you thought.
Instead, the family had been standing around in a half-circle, seemingly waiting for you to get back! You barely had time to rescue the groceries as a Bonbon-shaped missile impacted your legs and held you, Mira following after on the other side and Nille even stepping in to ruffle your hair, as Odile looked on fondly, and Isa…Hid something.
As lovely as the feeling was, your suspicions were raised far too high.
You managed a laugh, and to pull yourself free of the hug after enough time that it had started to loosen, before staring down Isa. Watching his cheeks darken was almost worth he price of admission, even as the others spoke around you. Again.
"I told you he'd notice!"
"You hardly had a better idea, Mirabelle."
"Uh-uh! We shoulda done it at dinner! Make sure he's comf-ta-bul."
"Comfortable, Boniface."
"That's what I said!"
It all flowed around you, as you stepped closer to Isa, and sighed. "I know what bonding earrings are, Isa." You allowed, holding out a hand, making him stutter even worse - and sending a roil of laughter around the room from everyone else.
That wasn't it? Then what was he hiding?"
"You're half right, I'm afraid. This is actually something we'd all been thinking about for a while…The past week just proved how important it was. It's not bonding earrings, but…"
As Odile spoke, Isabeau brought a black jewelry box around, holding it out to you. His words were trembling and small, in the way he always seemed to do only for you. You wished he wouldn't…his big booming voice was always so nice.
"We noticed you don't have any earrings yourself, Sif! And…I mean, you're as Vaugardian as any of us, if you want to be. Not that you should feel like you have to give anything up for us! But! I thought this might…make it easier to remember?"
What…were they saying?
Isabeau opened the box, and instead of one of his black i-earrings like you'd expected, a pair of star-shaped earrings rested inside. They were a light shade, just dark enough to notice around your hair, and obviously handcrafted. The edges were imprecise, the designs weren't symmetrical, and you could feel the love in every angle.
You stared. You didn't know what else to do.
Isa was saying more things, and it sounded like other people were responding, but you lifted up a hand to the box. A shaking hand, you realized when it was halfway there. Trembling, uncertain, but you didn't dare stop now. Not when they'd put so much effort in.
"-know what I was working on, the past few days. It's something of a rush job and it shows, but it's even more Vaugardian to have it made by your family, isn't it?" Odile was speaking.
Made…by your family.
Made by them.
You cried. You wrapped your arms around the giant body of Isabeau and you cried and you sobbed and you bawled and for once in your life, you weren't ashamed of a single sound you made. There wasn't any room for it in your heart. Not with everything else you were feeling.
Everyone else was holding you in moments. You turned, as best you could in the group hug, to include all of them. You knew you were getting tears and snot all over them and you didn't care. They were there. They were your family. They…You were one of them.
In that moment, of all moments, you were loved.
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bubblewhale · 23 hours ago
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I'm just now finding out that people did not like my villain academia arc.
I truly watched bnha for the LOV (besides bkdk).
The main cast is nice and all but if i put on my critical lenses i honestly don't see the hero society as a viable option. Economically and structurally i just don't get it - it's a cult that creates celebrities/heroes who are obviously used as both propaganda and tools of war, under the guise of fighting crime. At this point, heroes serve as either military special op forces or double-agents, or even as nuke level power holders. Either way, they are totally dehumanised soldiers. On the other end, the hero cult itself triggers people becoming villains. It does so by blaming individuals for becoming villains, even when it's obvious that they are direct results of wider structural societal problems. It's shown many times how hate can manifest in families as perfectionism, abuse, obsession, suppression, phobia (Shoto, Dabi, Shigaraki, Toga), poverty and human trafficking (Hawks) and xenophobia and racial (?) discrimination with mutants (Spiner).
The only moment i was hopeful they're gonna address the structural problems was the liberation army attack on the hospital in the war arc. But what was crazy to me is that the hero society held a war prisoner in the basement of a public hospital - using a civilian shield tactic, which is considered a war crime. Spiner's character arc is also extremely sad and unhelpful. Even the school itself becomes a military stronghold.
For the question of family dynamics we get Endeavor atonement arc. But we also get a scene which implies that he sa'd his wife (as if the fact that she was sold to him wasn't enough). The one scene that wasn't believable to me at all was Rei coming to visit Endeavor in the hospital. God bless Shoto, that kid is so strong, understanding perfectly Endeavor is to blame for all that. But it shows that in case of powerful men, sa and child abuse are not treated as crimes, as they should be.
Hawks is another great example of literally being sold and used, similar to Lady Nagant - and nothing is gained from their arcs in the sense of revealing the hidden corruption. Both of them side with the "hero" side in the end, the side that made them do their dirty work for them. He even becomes a murderer because of this but still manages to keep in the public’s good graces by acting as if killing is something he had to do for the greater good, same reason he sided with Endeavor.
Toga is a brilliant representation of discrimination towards a sexual minority but then she dies to save a hero she loves. It's tragic, honestly.
Deku is the only one trying to do something and helping (Shoto, Bakugo, All Might and Shigaraki are some examples) people change their mind and views on heroism/what it means to live righteously. I haven't read the manga so i don't yet understand what Deku losing his quirk could mean but honestly this AFO-OFA tug of war is the most boring part to me.
The show still mostly puts everything down to individual level and blames the villain or makes it somehow personal responsibility of heroes to deal with it.
Thus the league of villains becomes the focal point of the show - their double bind with AFO on one end and heroes on the other.
It just bugs me that the whole show could be read as cop/military propaganda and that our protagonists are basically glorified cops. This is why vigilante Deku arc was so exciting, finally! And this is why the whole concept of the show would be very different if it was made from LOV's pov from the start.
As it is, there's lots of bright and shiny feathers but not much substance in the show. The biggest stars of the show are personal tragedies, sometimes out-shining the main plot and gloriously failing to tie into the bigger picture.
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kingkat12 · 2 days ago
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so... this is the deleted original ending to the first chapter of seven minutes in heaven. made centuries ago. enjoy!!
(it sorta starts in the middle of the closet scene, so here goes nothing)
WARNINGS: SMUT! SMUT! ROMAN BEING AN ASSHOLE! mind control powers being used for BAD bad bad BAD things!! implied mind control during sex so is it dub-con?, dark!Roman, not-so-happy-ending
word count: 1,811
a/n: there was a reason this version was scrapped... it felt too dark and not fun and urgh i'm simply posting this as an ancient artifact lol. it might suck as i wrote this back in august, but oh well!!!
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(Roman is NOT a feminist in this one, so... irony<333 generalizing cunt)
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 "And I reckon this is your first time playing?"
"Yeah," I mumbled, no longer meeting his gaze. I couldn't look at him, not right not, not when we were this close and alone. 
"So..." Roman ran his fingers through his hair, the usual smirk returning. "You know what usually happens in here, or...?"
I rolled my eyes; "I'm not an idiot,"
"I know," Roman's voice got lower, breathier, and he took a step closer. There wasn't much room for more steps, actually— it was getting rather cramped up at this point. "But if there's anything you've wanted to try out, now's the time."
My breath hitched, hoping the thumping of my heart wasn't audible to him. 
It was almost as though Roman could sense how nervous I was; he bent down a little, getting on my level before he whispered; "I won't tell Letha,"
Feeling his hot breath against my skin, how dangerously close he was, was almost too much for me. The way he said it made me even more conscious of what was happening; I hadn't even told Letha how crazy I was about Roman, and I knew she'd be against it.
However... I was being served my biggest dream on a platter. Maybe if I got this bit over with, my feelings would subside and go back to being purely hateful again? 
I mustered up the courage, letting out a shaky breath before I opened my mouth to speak; "Could you maybe... kiss me?" My words came out barely louder than a whisper. "I've just had a really shitty night."
Roman's expression remained unchanged. "I'm sorry to hear that,"
"... No, you're not,"
"Okay, you might be right," He let out a soft laugh against my lips, and my eyes quickly darted down to his hands to check if he wasn't holding a needle or no. That was when I knew my anxiety was through the roof. "So... you want a kiss? That's all?"
This was too nerve-wracking. I kept imagining that he would say no, that he would reject me somehow and make me the only girl at school he wouldn't want to do anything with— that would definitely make me hate him even more. In a flash moment of weakness (which I later blamed the alcohol for), I sighed; "Just... could you? Or am I asking for too much?"
Something about Roman's expression changed— he seemed to realize what it was that I was actually asking of him. Not to make out, not to drown in one another, but the simplest of all things romance; affection. Something gentle, something sweet, just to check if he had a sliver of anything resembling that in his system. 
"You like me, don't you?" Roman whispered, nudging his nose against mine, eyes rounding out as he heard my breath hitch at the simple gesture. "This is what all of this has been about?"
I closed my eyes, revelling in the feeling. It was the smallest thing, yet it was a comfort in the midst of the conversation. "All of what?"
"Your anger," Roman let out a sigh, connecting our foreheads, closing his eyes as well. "You can't stand that you like me, can you?"
For some reason, I felt the urge to cry overcome me— I spent a few seconds pressing down the stream of tears that threatened to surface. Having someone say it out loud felt like a desperately needed release. "It's been a nightmare,"
Roman stilled, eventually letting out a hum which sent a shiver down my spine. "You know nothing about nightmares," he breathed against my lips. "If I tell Letha we fucked in here, you'll be living through your worst one."
I shouldn't have been so shocked— I should've expected this. I should've known that Roman would spin this around on me. I definitely knew he wouldn't reciprocate, but this? What was it, revenge? 
"I could make your every waking moment a living hell," he continued, his cold hands suddenly travelling up my body, gripping my waist with a grip I was afraid would bruise. "Letha would take my side, of course... Who else do you have but her, hm?"
I wanted to break out into tears, now grabbing at his hands. Almost panicked, I tried to get him off of me, but to no avail. "I'll leave you alone," I pleaded, finding his eyes.
"Nah, that's not what I want," I could see the sadistic satisfaction overcome him— I saw how he broke out into a wide grin at the sight of my glossy eyes. "How about we make a deal?"
Making a deal with the devil reincarnated? Very smart move, on my part. Fucking genius. "Okay?"
Roman hummed, his harsh grip around my waist releasing, allowing me to finally suck in a heave of air. Catching me off guard, he suddenly pressed his lips against my forehead with the softest touch I had ever felt— was he trying to throw me off course? 
"Start being nice..." Roman murmured, his now hands drawing soothing circles onto my back. "And I will reward you."
I let out a shaky breath; I was thankful that the agreement didn't involve any needles. "... That's all?"
"That's all," Roman echoed, pulling away to watch my expression. "You and your mouth have been making my life hell, do you know that? So if you can calm the fuck down, we could both get what we want. How does that sounds?"
I wasn't completely sold. "And what is it that you think I want?"
Roman's eyes darkened; he knew he had won. "Me," 
Oh, how I hated him. I hated him, and I knew I always would. But as his lips ghosted over mine, seconds away from touching, I didn't stand a chance anymore when the following words sounded past his plush lips; "I have a feeling I might have to put you in your place a little, hm? Maybe you'd even want that? Because honestly, I know girls like you... You fight until your last breath, then you're completely in denial, and then you'll fall apart the minute you get what you've always wanted,"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was this... me? 
"And you've always wanted to be one of my girls, haven't you?" Roman leaned down, pressing a deadly soft kiss against my cheek which nearly took my breath away; I could feel him smirk against my skin. "Or maybe... the only one?"
At this point, I felt so broken down that I gave in to a nod. 
Roman's hand slowly ghosted up my body until his fingers gently wrapped around my neck, holding me in place, almost as though he feared I would run; "I can arrange that, y'know?"
This conversation had unlocked a deep, dark part of me that I didn't know I had— like this, completely at his mercy, I had a feeling I was made to be his. Brainwashed. That I was put on this earth to find him and be with him, and that we were destined to be together. It made me feel so weak and pathetic that my lower lip eventually gave in to a quiver, feeling a sob build.
Roman let go of my neck, stroking his fingers through my hair. "Shh, no need for that... You're fine, you're okay. It's just me."
Just me. Just Roman. He who that had haunted my dreams for months, the only one I could think of when I got myself off, and the one I had been longing for from afar for so long that it turned into burning hate. 
Roman must've felt like he was done torturing me, finally meeting my lips with the most gentle kiss I had ever shared. This was all I had ever wanted— he was right. My heart beat hard in my chest as I let myself melt against his dangerously soft lips. 
I wanted to be his, no matter the cost. No matter what happened or what I had to sacrifice. 
I loved Roman Godfrey.
... and I was sure of it now.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
Yes— This was right.
Of course. 
I loved him. 
I loved him, I loved him, God, how I loved him. With every fibre of my being, I loved him. 
I loved the feeling of his body against mine, corrupting my mind until I was nothing but mindless. A small part of me also loved that it was our little secret, and ours only. 
Letha didn't have a clue, of course— I had kept my act up quite well when I was around her. I had kept it up around everyone else as well, but the anger that was ravaging through my system, the hate that was burning me up from inside was currently being mended by one thing and one thing only;
"A-Aah—"
My fingers tangled into Roman's hair, feeling his bruising grip around my hips tighten as he fucked me into my mattress. I let out a small cry, feeling my legs starting to go numb after how long they had been thrown over his broad shoulders. Deep down, I didn't care— nothing could put out the angry fire in my soul like Roman did. Nothing was a better remedy than feeling his cock inside me, no matter what, when, or where.
I let out a gasp as Roman shifted, pulling me into his lap with ease. I couldn't feel my legs now, and I had a sense that he knew— he barely had to put any strength into moving me around, especially with how he was towering over me in general. 
I let out a gasp as he sunk me down on his length, and I gripped his shoulders with a short squeak for support. Heavy breaths escaped my parted lips as I clung to him, whimpering at the feeling of his thick cock stroking my insides. 
Roman seemed beyond content, gazing up at me with half-lidded eyes. He revelled in the sight of how ruined I was before he attached his soft lips to my collarbone to bring forth a hickey, humming. That was the one place we both knew Letha wouldn't see it, after all. 
It was impossible not to submit to the devil reincarnated when sex could feel this good with him. It didn't matter that I had practically sold my soul for this, because every second, every stroke of his cock, was worth it. 
"You're heaven," he murmured, lifting my hips and pushing himself further into me, taking more control. "You feel so... shit, this is heaven—"
Ironic.
And just as I felt my climax approaching, flashes of thoughts I had suppressed came crashing forward. No matter how nice all of this felt, I couldn't help but wonder how I had even agreed to any of this in the first place. But it wasn't like he had mind control powers, right? It wasn't like this was some sadistic ploy to seek revenge against all the times I had been a complete and utter bitch to him.
No— it couldn't be. Don't be ridiculous.
... Right?
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90shaladriel · 2 days ago
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I'm not blaming anyone, clearly the show made it a point to pivot Sauron to unredeemable in Season 2 when I don't think that is what they showed us in Season 1. Personally that it less interesting to me for his character and also the implications that gives to Saurondriel, but I realize that's not what the show is going to be about. That is fine!
I believe me & the other person above were saying Nenya can't heal evil like that, you have to heal that evil inside you yourself.
Well this is the debate isn't it? I am saying that Nenya CAN heal evil like that, as is proved by Adar's healing, so why not? Also given the sample size is exactly 1, nobody can make broad declarative statements about what it can or cannot do in show-lore because it's up to our interpretations isn't it?
Adar on the other hand, sees their existence & suffering, knows his involvement in it & instead of hating it & them along with it he chooses to love them, fight for them & try to break the cycle of abuse that perpetuates their plight.
But he doesn't extend that love and compassion to the men and women of the Southlands or the Elves of Eregion? The stuff he does or, by inaction. allows the Uruks to do is horrendous. I think what he tried to do in the very end with Galadriel is the only way they can break the cycle, but it was too little too late. But again that only happened after he stole Nenya and in the meantime permitted his Uruks to destroy Eregion.
Sauron may not regard the Uruks with much love or dignity, hard to dispute. The only caveat would be on the raft when Galadriel spoke of her quest for vengeance against the Orcs, Sauron made a point of telling her, "if you want to murder Orcs that is your own affair, but don't dress it up as heroism" he clearly cares more about them than she did who is the hero of the story. We only really have glimpses of what he might have done after Morgoth's defeat that caused Adar and the Uruks to turn on him, we only got Adar's account of this. I guess we can assume the worst for the sake of discussion but I could imagine it was more nuanced. Perhaps Adar sought to rule himself and seeded the rebellion against Sauron? We don't see Adar giving up his rule once the Orcs have a home in Mordor, nor does he act to create a democratic order of equality among them, he very much takes charge as a "Lord".
I think in an inverse way, we see Sauron time and again appear to hold the Men of the Southlands in higher regard than the Uruks. We didn't fully get the King of the Southlands as it was cut short, but up until his wounding he was saving people's lives. He continually argued with the Elves on the necessity to aid the men that he represented in Halbrand form. I think as you said :
This doesn't erase his crimes against the southlanders but those crimes also don't erase his genuine love for his children. 2 things can be true at once, this show is beautiful in its complexity this way!
Is very much true for Sauron. They are two sides of the same coin. He is full of contradictions!
Yes. Sauron let Diarmid perish. He also chose to forsake violence and revenge by turning away from the Uruks and Adar in the Southlands and following Diarmid.
You could say that Adar did good here and there. But also Sauron saved Galadriel's life at sea when there was zero material benefit to himself and even possible risk knowing how powerful she was and that her actual mission was killing him! He purposefully gave his enemy a chance to live, nothing can take away that altruism he displayed, whether he did other rotten things or not. Going to fight in the Southlands, saving Elendil's life, sparing Adar's are all further of examples of this right up till the end of Season 1.
So by that measure, I do think even Sauron has parts of him that are good so I do believe there are things that could have brought that out externally, yes.
Clearly by the end of Season 2 they wanted to ensure that he was fully evil for whatever reason, he had plenty of opportunities to make other choices and didn't. That's all his blame. Talking about what Nenya would have done is just a fun thought experiment!
S1E1 of ROP sets up the theme of "Nothing is evil in the beginning"
This is a true to life imo & nuanced take on evil.
The show expands on it by showing us Sauron in his repentance phase where he is trying to return to his beginnings when he was still good.
S2E1 gives us the theme of the season "To be forgiven one needs to choose good everyday"
Again a very nuanced take on goodness, individual responsibility & willpower.
The show expands on it by simultaneously showing us Adar & Sauron starting on the same side & choosing different paths in the end.
This season shows us Sauron not choosing good, actively harming others and letting his decisions be based on greed & selfishness.
While Adar who's character's evil side was already established in Season 2 with the abuse of Southlanders gets his origins & motives fleshed out and then gets presented with the choice where he chooses good.
This show puts a lot of effort into nuances, complex topics like the cycle of abuse and dark characters that are very human & grounded in reality.
To imply that Magic Ring = Evil Eraser in a show like this imo diminishes the hardwork put into it & all its characters who have their own minds, motivations & challenges. (the very things we praise ROP Galadriel for having)
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cuntressgoingdigital · 2 days ago
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RUNAWAY | abby anderson x reader
free palestine! click this link for more info
synopsis: you and abby are in a mutually destructive situationship. after everything you put each other through, you both always find you way back to one another.
notes: gonna be sooo honest, this isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea and that's okay! heed the content warnings. this is a super angsty catharsis piece.
cw: 18+ content MDNI, reader referred to as a girl, alcohol ment., top! abby, mutually toxic relationship, no happy ending, honestly neither of y'all are good people
word count: 1k
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all you could do was sigh when you read the text that popped up on your phone. 
can i see you tn?
it was 2AM, you and your friends were on the way back home from the club. you had texted abby hours ago. you always did this after drinking. not because your judgment was impaired, instead you wanted to be able to blame your actions on the alcohol. you would’ve texted her completely sober. you often did. 
“what are you staring at on your phone?” your friend tried to snap you out of it, but nothing would stop you. your friends learned to stop trying.
the text interaction was instigated by you, around 8PM, after one sip of a cocktail your friend had made for you. 
fuck you abby
who is this new girl? 
what happened to all the shit you said last week?
she had posted a picture with some pretty redhead on her arm, her face buried in the crook of abby’s neck. she always did this. she knew it would make you mad.
and you always took the bait. 
now it was 3AM, your friends had left you for the night, and abby was knocking on your door. you had sobered up in the last hour or so. your mind was clear. all of your actions were your own. 
immediately abby leaned in for an embrace, prompting you to practically leap back. 
“who the fuck is she?” there was an undeniable venom in your voice. you didn’t have time for pleasantries. 
abby moved past you, crossing the threshold into your apartment. “she’s one of manny’s exes. we’re still cool so me and nora had dinner with her. that’s it.” 
cue the inevitable repetitive screaming match that you two would end up in once every few weeks. the walls were thin and you knew your neighbors could hear. luckily, they minded their business. 
“abby it’s like you don’t give a fuck about my feelings! all week you're texting me ‘i miss you’, ‘you’re the only person who’s ever made me feel this way’. what happened to that?”
you couldn’t ever stay mad at her. you used the same playbook she did. after a couple weeks of not talking, a post on social media would lure her back in. an “accidental”
i had so much fun with you last night <3
that was immediately unsent. it was a song and dance that both of you were perpetually stuck in. after this long, it felt like you couldn’t leave the dancefloor now. 
for the record, abby wasn’t lying. it was just dinner. nothing else. it was clear the girl wanted her. hugging her for just a moment too long, getting a little too handsy when they went to the club together, the frequent requests for one on one hangouts. 
abby wasn’t anywhere near interested. 
she didn’t want any of the girls she would entertain for a week, sometimes a month (never longer). she couldn’t fuck them without thinking of you. without missing you. one too many times when a girl was between her legs she had accidentally uttered your name. 
that’s why every argument resulted in the pure bliss of hate filled make up sex. whoever was on the receiving end of the accusations would placate the other with ‘they dont mean anything’, ‘i just miss you so fucking much’, ‘i wanna be with you’. 
that night when you’re face down in the mattress, back arched, her strap buried impossibly deep inside you, you forget everything. the reasons you hate her. why you would never work. she takes you by the chin and pulls you up, back flush against her chest, fucking up into you while she whispered in your ear.
“fuck, you look so good like that. my pretty girl.”
you would always be her’s.
“such a fucking slut. only running back to me when you need to be fucked back into your place, yeah?” she hoped that wasn’t true. she wants to hear you say that it isn’t true.
“i love you, abby.” was all you could manage to say between thrusts.
abby starts thrusting with a fervor. her hands were gripping your hips so tight you feared they might bruise. she knows your body so well that she can tell when you’re about to cum. you’d dig your nails into her arms, gasping for air, whimpering her name. 
“i love you too, baby girl.” 
that was all it took for the floodgates to open. 
neither of you had lied. you both loved each other more than anything in the world. you said it during arguments, over dinner, at the end of a phone call, and most often during sex. 
if it came down to it, you would die for one another. 
the orgasm was so intense it brought tears to your eyes. abby could fuck you for hours, and she often did, especially when you were mad at her. tonight was one of those nights. by the time the sun had fully risen in the sky you were both sweaty, sore, and exhausted. 
you spent the next few weeks together. she had a key to your apartment that you hadn’t taken back after any of your fallouts. after work, you would find her at home, making your favorites for dinner. she came and went as she pleased, but you knew she’d be back. such was the nature of your relationship. 
when it’s good, it’s amazing. when it’s bad, it’s miserable. the good never lasted long. your record best was a little more than two months. then, one of you would get antsy, terrified of the ‘what are we?’ conversation. 
after being away from each other, the monotony of peace set in. one of you would find a way to snake back in. 
you were mutually destroying each other. you knew that. abby knew that. a happy ending wasn’t likely for either of you. 
but, that was okay. 
she was familiar. this was easier. you had to leave or live with it. 
and here you were, laying in her arms, pressing kisses against her chest and collarbones, while she whispered sweet nothings in your ear. 
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fanfictiongirlie · 1 day ago
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Marvel: Unplanned Chapter Eight
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Parings: Bucky Barnes x Reader (First person written though)
Description:
"It says...it says it's positive doll" His voice matching mine in a quiet shaky whisper.
"Fuck... I'm pregnant?"
"Yeah doll, you're pregnant"
"Fuck" I whisper.
Rating: Explicit
Chapter Warnings: Swearing
Chapter Words: 1,287
(I have the urge for every Marvel fanfic I write to have a seperate timeline where nothing bad happens, and everyone is happy)
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As I hit 28 weeks of pregnancy, the symptoms got worse. My chest hurt and my throat felt like fire. 
"Fuck" I hiss whilst walking into the very busy Avengers kitchen, Bucky were in there, along with most of the Avengers. "Fucking heartburn, Barnes, I hate you" I didn't, but heartburn was probably one of the most horrid feelings ever.
Bucky puts his drink down and looks at me, his expression a mixture of confusion and amusement. 
"Doll, I know you're uncomfortable, but you can't blame me for heartburn" He answers, I look at him glaring. 
"You put a baby in me, it's all your fault" I sneer. Bucky chuckles softly, his expression turning mildly smug. 
"Well doll...I certainly hand a hand in that, but it takes two to make a baby" He teases. 
"Shut up" I say, gagging "Fuck"
Bucky's expression suddenly isn't smut anymore, concern replacing his amusement. I glare at him again but hold my hand out to him. 
"Come on, doctor's appointment...Ready to hear her heartbeat?" I ask, trying to smile. He nods eagerly, a small smile on his lips. 
"Ready to hear our little peanut's heartbeat" He grins, I shake my head at the nickname. We say our goodbyes to the Avengers and make our way to the doctors. The anxiety I felt every time I visited the doctors came, making my heartburn worse, but I soon forgot that when Doctor Addams showed us the heartbeat, the little noise filled the room, and Bucky and I were silent as he listened to the soft fluttering. 
"That's...that's our baby" Bucky whispers. 
"Yeah, that's our girl" 
Bucky's smile widens, his eyes shining with pride and jow, he squeezes my hand. Once we were done in the doctor's office, we decided to do some more baby shopping, we had brought all the main things we needed, but it was still fun to look around the shops. Bucky followed me around the store pushing the shopping cart. 
"What do you think about this little dress? It's pink, your favourite doll" Bucky smirks, holding up a little pink dress. 
"Oh that's so cute" I say, Bucky smiles, pleased I agreed with him, he places the dress into the cart and grabs another item. 
"How about this?" He asks, I look over to see him holding a onesie that reads 'Daddy's girl', he grins looking at me with an excited, hopeful expression.
"Oh my god, yes, we're so getting that, she's going to be such a daddy's girl" I grin. I look around, looking at different items when I see a frog plus, I pick it up and show Bucky. 
"She needs this" I say, Bucky raises an eyebrow at me. 
"A frog?"
"Yeah, baby girl needs a froggie plush" I say, my reasoning silly, but it was the cutest toy. We continue looking around, grabbing more clothes here and there, a few toys for when she's a toddler. 
"Hey Bucks, I thought of a name,..." I say quietly. Bucky's eyes light up as he looks at me. 
"You thought of a name? Tell me love" He smiles, I shiver slightly at his pet name and blush. 
"Jamie...after you" I say quietly. I watch as Bucky's expression softens, a small touched smile appears on his lips. 
"Jamie" He says softly. "After me?..You want to name our little girl after me?"
"Maybe, what do you think?"
Bucky takes a moment to answer, his hand looking through a big bin of toys in the store. 
"Jamie...I like it...I like it a lot doll" He smiles, his eyes meeting mine "Jamie Barnes, it's got a nice ring to it" 
"Barnes?" I question, smirking "So sure she'll have your last name, not mine?
"It's tradition for the baby to take the father's name, ain't it?" He asks, grinning. 
"Maybe back in your day" I smirk playfully. He rolls his eyes, matching my playful smirk. 
"No need to make me sound like a fossil, I'm only a hundred and six, thank you very much" He says as he pokes my side. 
"What a completely normal sentence" I joke "Shall we buy these and go home?" I say motioning to the shopping cart. Bucky nods and we buy the items and head back to the compound, we walked to the common room, our bags of stuff still in hand. Sam makes a joke about us buying the whole baby section of the store. 
It was evening time, and we still sat in the common room with everyone, Nat smirked at me as she drank from her glass of wine. 
"God, don't tease me woman" I say, my mouth watering at the glass. 
"Only a few more months" She smirks, taking a large gulp of the wine. 
"Bucks" I say, getting my boyfriend's attention "When I give birth, will you have one of those mini bottles of vodka ready for him?" 
I watch as Bucky raises an eyebrow at me, a mixture of surprise and amusement on his face. 
"Doll, seriously?" He asks, chuckling. 
"Not sure why you're surprised" I say, it wasn't exactly a secret that I enjoyed a drink. 
"You're right" He chuckles, shaking his head. 
We finally decide to go back to our room, we walked into the nursery first, we had painted it pink, and gotten it ready, near enough, we put the things we brought today away. And I sat down on the rocking chair, smiling up at Bucky. 
"Think, in a few months I'll be sitting here with a baby in my arms" 
Bucky's expression softens at my words, he looks at me as if he were imagining. "Yeah I can picture it.. you'll be a great mama doll, our little girl will be lucky to have you"
"And you, babe" 
"I'll be there for you both, every step of the way... Our little girl is gonna have two parents who love her more than anything" He says, grinning widely. 
"I'm really happy I choice to keep her...I really wasn't sure at the start, but I definitely think I made the right choice" I say quietly, I rest my hand on my bump. 
"I'm really happy too doll, I know it was a tough decision, but I'm glad you choice to keep her, I can't wait to meet our girl" 
"Me neither baby" I whisper "Going back to the name, I really do like Jamie, but I can understand if you don't want to name her after yourself" 
Bucky gazes at me intently, his eyes gentle and sincere. "Doll, I like it, I really like the name Jamie"
"Yeah it does, and no one calls you James anyways, so it wouldn't be too weird, would it?" I ask. Bucky shakes his head, a small chuckle escaping his lips. 
"No, I don't think it'll be weird"
"And I'm willing to let her last name be Barnes, on one condition" I say carefully. 
"Yes darling?" 
"That one day, I'll also get to have the last name Barnes" I say, blushing madly. His eyes widen slightly. 
"Doll, you mean...you want to take my last name one day?" He asks, his voice laced with disbelief. 
"Yeah.. I mean, I'm not ready for marriage any time soon, but one day, I can see myself marrying you" I admit, feeling bashful and silly as I do. 
"I'd like that too doll, someday, one day..I want to marry you, make you all mine, officially" He grins widely, his teeth showing as he walked closer to me. I got up from the rocking chair and stepped close to him.
"Still mental to think, we hated each other" I chuckle. 
"Yeah doll, from hating one another to having a kid together, who would've thought?"
"Not me" I giggle.
(I do not consent my works to be posted anywhere else, by anyone other than myself)
Taglist:
@quinquinquincy @jaybbygrl @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @learisa @hi172826 @ravennablue @purplecolordeer @a-small-blue-nebula @buckitostan
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mimez-meme · 21 hours ago
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Aizawa headcanons!🖤💤 (sorry if any mistakes, erasermic?)
Not bothered by temperature. Wears baggy clothes even in hot weather unless he literally cannot stand it.
Has like little notes in his office of things eri likes so he always has some kind of idea of what gifts to get her
He purposely coughs whenever someone is smoking near him.
Whenever someone tells a really unfunny joke he either does a fake little laugh and then just a blank face after and stare at them for a bit, or he just stares at them with a blank face.
Downloaded tiktok to monitor his students but he secretly watches those ai cat vids/cat vids in general, sometimes shows them to eri
Once showed up to class with a bunch of plasters because eri kept saying he had ‘boo boos’
Type of dude to have the same dinner for days
He has loads of photos of random shit. Like a bunch of accidental photos.
Got the yellow sleeping bag thing because it reminded him of hizashi
As a kid he was neglected and his parents just wasn’t rlly the best but when he was like 14-15 his grandparents got custody over him and they started to look after him
10% Korean, 25% German
Owns some present mic merch
Aromantic and gay. Only had/has feelings for hizashi.
Says the most offensive shit then just says “no offence tho.”
When he’s in a meeting or whatever if he finds it boring he would yawn really loudly but then just act like nothing happened. But if someone points it out he’d be like “don’t blame it on me. Blame it on my instincts.” But if he doesn’t do that he will look really bored, like you tell by his face.
Doesn’t like fizzy drinks or like any sweet drinks. Doesn’t like any cold food either like ice cream.. ice lollies ect.
Sometimes when he can’t sleep he’ll listen to present mics radio show. Though he’ll never admit that.
He genuinely thought his students didn’t like him until the war started and they protected him the best he could, he even cried a bit over it.
He hugs a pillow to sleep sometimes, it oddly brings him comfort. In his sleeping bag he has a mini cat plushie.
If he sees himself in a kid in any way he will make sure they get help or he will help them. He hates seeing himself in a kid and he most definitely doesn’t want a kid to feel to same as he did as a kid.
Opened his own cat shelter not to far from his house, he goes there after work a lot and helps around.
Whenever there’s a sunset he takes pictures as he likes to think it’s oboro making the sky pretty for him and others.
Even now he views himself as weak. He ‘knows’ he can’t save everyone but what purpose does he serve if he can’t save everybody? And as hizashi couldn’t do much as kids when he was overworking himself, whenever he catches him overworking now he always stops him but aizawa gets mad
He loves omelets, has omelets every day for breakfast. He believes breakfast is the only meal you really need, but ofc hizashi is trying to help him eat more
He likes reading and getting lost in it. Imagining himself in that world. Its another way he escapes reality
Always has the news on/listening to it somehow, at home he has the tv running, at work, radio or headphones ect (he only doesn’t listen when he knows he shouldn’t or can’t, like in meetings, when he’s teaching ect)
As a kid for Halloween he would just lurk in the complete darkness with his quick activated so people just seeing glowing red eyes people would get terrified.. he was known around his neighbourhood for doing so. He also use to do that to scare his friends.
He has injured his back and has back problems from always overworking himself (training wise) and because of his bad posture and whenever someone points out his bad posture and the fact it’s not ganna help with his back problems he just says “it’s more comfy”
Like I hc hizashi to, he has some of nemuri’s paintings in his house
Nemuri always sent aizawa cat pictures everyday (canon?) and he got use to it, after her death he still checks his phone everyday expecting a cat picture but he never gets one.. it makes him feel a bit empty inside. He looks through those pictures whenever he can and sent back a cat picture and a message saying “thank you, for everything.”
After a long hard day of work, normally on Fridays he likes to have a long chilling bath, he does the usual stuff then just relaxes.. it calms him down and he thinks about life, he thinks about oboro sometimes and he just lets himself cry if he needs to. This is something that has genuinely helped him because it’s helping him becoming one with his feelings and letting himself feel and think. (Sometimes even falls asleep)
After his grandparents death he inherited the house but he couldn’t live there for too long because the memories hurt too much, even tho they’re good memories. But when he moved he took some stuff he held dearly with him and he has them in a little box in his closet now unless it’s some kind of furniture
Kirishima reminds him of oboro. Once he accidentally called him oboro and he hated himself for that, Kirishima lowkey gets some special treatment from aizawa as-well because of the fact
Only owns two pairs of pjs
Microwave- takeout typa guy. He can’t cook, basic stuff he can but it’s not the best
he’s tried a lot of weird shit with coffee, once he heard about tea and biscuits he tried it with coffee and weirdly liked it (I haven’t tried it myself but I’m guessing it’s not that nice but🤷🏻‍♀️) and then he tried over stuff and.. blah blah blah.
If Eri does his hair he willl keep it that way for as long as he can, he doesn’t care if he looks ridiculous
whenever he’s at the beach he would just relax on a sun bed or burry himself in the sand
Gets into bar fights, tries not to but he does.. 😭
hates swimming, he was forced to learn at a young age has a bit of trauma from that
after Oboros death he developed ED (an eating disorder)
He’s still in touch with Oboros parents and sometimes goes to see them, sometimes with hizashi as-well. Oboro also has a younger sister who looks like Eri in a way and so that also encourages Aizawa to look after Eri the best he can
Makes alot of dark jokes without realising
If he doesn’t like you and you ask for a cup of coffee or whatever, he’d make it for you but purposefully spill it all over you or make it really disgusting.
He makes sure to wash his face every night and every morning
has a COLLECTION of mugs, he buys every ‘cool’ one or just every basic one. He doesn’t care.
He’s ticklish on his sides, no one except nemuri and hizashi know that
He has two tattoos since hizashi kept calling him a pussy. Hizashi however doesn’t know what tattoos he got (he got a cloud on his ankle to represent oboro but unfortunately that tattoo was on the leg he cut off and he was actually upset about that. The other tattoo he got when drunk, it’s a fucked up rose below his neck on his back?..idk how else to describe the place)
He hides things in his scarf and as a kid and he was guilty of stealing things and hiding them in his scarf (idk when he got his scarf but shut up)
His scarf was inspired by a scarf his grandad always use to wear
After the time skip he adopted eri
Has a cat lamp in his room
He hated his smile, it was one of his insecurities but after a while and when he found happiness his smile became one of the most beautiful things about him. He didn’t really know how to smile to begin with which is why he was insecure, but yeah.. now he isn’t as insecure.
Mrs joke once played ‘emo boy’ outside his house on a boombox. To this day he has no idea how she knows where he lived and he even got extra locks
On Father’s Day he got cards from most of his students and he was so confused as to why but some of them made him smile (he secretly kept them)
Mic taught him how to do up his hair.
He hates big loud dogs.
He has dreams about saving oboro and how life could of been like if he lived or if he (aizawa) died instead of oboro, once woke up crying
He loves physical touch and the simplest of touch can calm him down or bring him comfort but he isn’t really use to it. his favourite type of physical touch is probably holding hands. But ‘no one’ knows
When he saw hizashi angry for the first time (s5-s7) he was genuinely scared of him and worried on what he might do but he didn’t show it and just let him express but seeing him like that also made him realise some of his mistakes as a friend and he sometimes thinks about it all, it made him question mic a lot and himself.
He had a pat cat but it died, however he still keeps his bed, toys and blanket. He figured he should leave having pets for a while because he would be too busy, but after the time skip he got 2 cats
He knows almost nothing about hizashi’s past before UA, he doesn’t think much about it but it does concern him 
Most of the time he genuinely thinks the world would be better if he didn’t exist as if he didn’t exist some people would still be alive. (Like oboro) but after the time skip he finally stopped thinking that way as he began noticing his worth.
He does feel guilty after being too hard on the kids, as sometimes they remind them of him. He tries to not push them too hard but enough.
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thecountoflondonfansite · 3 days ago
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Henry gave an absentminded nod, but it was clear to everyone that the man was not taking the news very well. Dr. Two Brains felt awful for his partner. After their emotional conversation, Two Brains knew that deep down, Henry still blamed himself for Robert having such access to HJ7. Now his fears and woes were sadly reconfirmed with the discovery of the connection between Robert and Lucian. Hyde was stunned as well. He never expected Lanyon to display any sort of knack for violence. The man always seemed to shy away from anything considered deadly or dangerous. Henry and Edward both knew Robert had a license for a gun though the man had never really used it before. It was mainly for protection. Hyde’s eyes widened as a horrible realization popped into his mind. ‘Jekyll. What if Lucian was the one who killed Lanyon Sr.’ Henry had a pale and horrified expression at Hyde’s theory. ‘What are ye implying?’ Henry hesitantly asked. ‘Think about it. Chubby Cheeks always had issues with his dad. He never told ye what happened to Lanyon Sr. Plus, why would Robert come to America right after his father was killed unless he was trying to escape from the law.’ Edward exclaimed. Henry whipped his head to glare at Hyde. “That doesn’t mean anything. Yes. Lucian is violent, but it doesn’t mean he’s capable of murder. Robert may have issues with his father, but he would never cross that line.” Henry replied back. Hyde rolled his eyes. ‘Ye are in denial, Jekyll. The others told ye what they experienced. Hugh even said that he felt the same wrong feeling towards Lucian that he felt about us and Robert. Are ye really going to let your past feelings get in the way of logic and reasoning.’ Hyde chided, though not in his usual teasing tone. He was being serious and hated how Henry was refusing to see what was right there. “Ah am not letting my feelings get in the way of anything! Ah do believe that Lucian is very much likely Robert’s Hyde. What Ah very much doubt to be true is that Robert was responsible for his father’s murder!” Henry shouted at Edward. Both of them were unaware of the audience staring at them. ‘Well it sounds like ye are deep in denial. Face it, your precious Lanyon is nothing but a violent killer. He could have killed Hugh if Alan hadn’t shown up. What if he goes after Whiskers next? What’s going to convince ye that Lucian is what Lanyon represses! That deep down Robert Lanyon is a murderer! Hyde shouted back angrily. Henry had enough. “WILL YE SHUT YOUR TRAP, HYDE! ROBERT IS NOT A KILLER!” Henry roared. He let out a haggard breath after releasing his rage. He was still angry, angry at Hyde’s accusations, angry with himself for not keeping his formula better hidden, angry with even…Robert. Henry’s expression changed from anger to shock. Was he really angry at Robert just because of Lucian? Lucian was a different person and yet…he was like Edward…he was just what Robert repressed. Henry flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He spun around and saw Two Brains looking at him with worry and concern. Henry gazed at Alan and the other four. They all had various reactions, but they all told Henry the same thing. They had all witnessed an intense argument Henry had with his counterpart, but to them, it looked like Henry was arguing with himself. “I’m…terribly sorry you had to see that.” Henry apologized, his cheeks were flushed with embarrassment. Hyde didn’t respond verbally but he did leer at Henry. Dr. Two Brains was the first one to speak. “It’s okay, dearest. Honestly we were just a bit stunned. I mean, I argued with Squeaky before. It’s just strange to see someone else argue with a person in their head.” @unhingedexperimenter
Henry felt devastated for his oldest friend. "That's absolutely horrible. I can't possibly imagine what Robert is going through. Even though he had issues with his father, this would no doubt affect him greatly.” His heart ached for Robert. Having lost his father due to a murder. Who could've done that? Was it the same person who attempted to kill Mr. Danvers Carew with the fire which Hyde got framed for? “You said it seemed personal. Why do you say that, old friend?” The lawyer took a moment to answer. “The murder was grisly and there wasn't anything stolen from the crime scene. It sounded more than just a robbery gone wrong. If it was truly that, expensive items would've been missing yet it all remained. I'm honestly shocked that Robert never told you. You two were always so close. Practically inseparable from college.” Henry looked visibly uncomfortable and solemn due to what his friend had said. “Thank you for telling me this. I do hope Robert will tell me about this on his own time. I won't force him or rush him.” Gabriel nodded at that. “Are you going to tell him?” The teacher seemed hesitant to answer that. “I will, once he has his own problems sorted. I would rather not add onto his problems with my own.” While it was true, Henry also didn't want to make things more complicated for Robert. He knew that his best friend had HJ7 and possibly could have ingested it. Leading to his own soul being split. It would only stress him out which could lead to his possible version of Hyde to get better control over him. It would only serve as ammo Robert's counterpart could use against him. “That is quite understandable. You two have been through a lot. Also considering the incident with your former employee. Mr. Hyde. It's been so stressful for both of you.” Hyde felt nervous whenever Gabriel would mention him. It felt like he could so easily uncover who he truly was to Henry. It was why he never appeared around him either. It's not that they didn't trust him. Not at all. As crazy as Hyde thought he was, he didn't want to possibly lose a friend he technically never met. He actually liked Gabriel and knew that the lies Henry kept would hurt the man deeply. It was a shared fear between Henry and Edward. “Thank you for understanding that, Gabriel. Also thank you for helping me.” Gabriel offered him a warm smile. “Of course. I would do anything for my dearest friends.” It troubled Henry. Why didn't Robert say anything about his father? Yet again, Robert did keep it a secret that he had a vial of HJ7 too. Becky looked confused, she had known about the murder of Dr. Lanyons father before he did. She was sure he would've known. Before the young girl could think about it further, she heard a voice calling for her. It was her uncle's voice. She listened to him calling, luckily Gabriel was too occupied with Henry to notice that. She went over to her father and tugged at his sleeve. Making Dr.Two-Brains lean over so she could whisper into his ear. “Dad, Uncle Alan is calling me. It sounds really urgent, I'll be back as soon as possible.” The mad scientist seemed reluctant to let her leave but nodded. “Alright, please don't take too long. Be careful.” With that said, Becky left. The moment she was alone, checking to make sure it was safe, Becky transformed and flew straight to Alan's and Hugh's apartment. She wondered why he called for her instead of going there himself. It must've been something serious. When she arrived, Becky went to the apartment she knew they resided in. Giving the door a couple of knocks before it was answered by Alan. Behind him were the other three of the four. “Uncle Alan? What are the others doing here?” His expression remained stoic. “We wanted to tell you something. We need you to tell your dad to turn his phone on. We have urgent information to tell him. Something has happened. We need to tell him what as well as the information we gained from it.”
Becky looked alarmed at what her uncle had just said. "Does it have something to do with Dr. Barriton?" Becky inquired as she remembered her dad telling her about the blonde scientist. Becky never really met him since the guy was fired when she was a baby. Her dad did describe him as an absolute narcissus and prick who was Athena's cousin. Becky didn't hold it against anyone to be related to that psycho woman since her twin brother Eris was a good person. She held the man's character and lack of morals against him. Alan shook his head. "No, it wasn't Calvin. Have you heard any of the adults speak of a Lucian Bennett?" Alan asked his niece. Becky pondered the question a bit and shook her head. "Not really, no." She answered. "Who is he?" The four looked at each other, not really sure how to explain. Hugh decided to speak about the man and his encounter to a degree. "We are not entirely sure who Lucian is as a person, but we know he is like Edward Hyde. By that, I mean he is the counterpart of someone who took the HJ7 formula." Becky's eyes widened at Hugh's explanation. There was someone out there who had their own Mr. Hyde! "Does Dr. Jekyll know about Lucian?" Becky asked in an urgent tone. The others gave a nod. "Yeah, he is aware of Lucian. He is also aware of the man having his own variation of the HJ7 formula though he isn't entirely sure how it is possible." Jenkins explained. "Listen, Becky. We really need to get in touch with your dad. It's difficult to explain but Lucian had nearly gotten physical with Hugh. We need to tell your dad what we know and what happened. Alan couldn't fly to Henry's house since it would have caused some alarm and we know the others are still recovering from Athena's attack. That is why he contacted you." Patricia explained in a serious tone. Becky nodded as she understood the gravity of the situation. "Okay, I'll get my dad." The heroine then took off back to Dr. Jekyll's apartment. "Where did your daughter run off too?" Gabriel asked. "Oh, she remembered she had to go outside and call her uncle Alan and let him know she couldn't spend the night at his and Hugh's home this Friday since personal things came up." Dr Two Brains quickly explained. Utterson looked surprised at the response. "She had to take her phone call outside." The lawyer exclaimed with a slightly suspicious tone. Two Brains internally panicked. 'Why can't this guy be as dumb as the rest of the civilians in this city.' "Oh well it was special bonding family thing they had this weekend though Becky is no longer feeling up to it. She and her uncle Alan have unique traditions that are not meant for other ears to hear. It shouldn't take to long for Becky to speak with Alan." Two Brains exclaimed. Henry seemed to catch onto the hidden meaning of his boyfriends' words and decided to help cover for him. "It's a strange but endearing characteristic that my boyfriend's family has. They like to keep their personal businesses private, even if it is just regular, family matters." Henry added. Gabriel looked a bit confused but quickly shook it off for now. "If you say so, Henry." He then turned to Dr. Two Brains. "So your brother is dating Dr. Mann?" Gabriel asked Two Brains shook his head. "No, Alan is dating Hugh, but he isn't my brother. He is technically my brother-in-law. He is Becky's mom's sibling." The mad scientist corrected. In what seemed to be a short amount of time, Becky returned inside. "Hey, kiddo. How did your talk with Uncle Alan go on the phone?" Dr. Two Brains inquired. Becky greeted her dad with a smile but Two Brains and Henry could tell that it was faked. "It went well, but he wanted me to let you know to turn on your phone. Hugh and the other four have been trying to reach you and see how you were doing." Becky respond. Two Brains looked embarrassed and quickly pulled out his phone to turn it on. His eyes widened as he saw the missed calls. "Oops. Sorry. I turned my phone off because I was having a conversation with Henry and didn't want to be disturbed." Two Brains exclaimed. @unhingedexperimenter
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dykedvonte · 5 days ago
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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icewindandboringhorror · 2 months ago
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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itsseriouslyridiculous · 26 days ago
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I really hate how my physical body looks so so so much. unfortunately there isn't much I can do about it.
#ive got fat genetics from both parents families going back generations and ive been trying to lose weight forever#my stupod body likes being fat i can excercise like crazy and eat barely anything and i wont lose anything#i was excercising 2+ hours a day before i got sick and it made me stronger but i.stayed fat. now that im sick im weak and still fat.#and im not the kind of fat anybody can find pretty. if i could somehow not be fat id be decent to look at my face isnt bad#my skin is bad though my skin sucks#in my eyes im disgusting#and its so messed up because i dont think other fat people are gross#but i hate how i look so much that i cant imagine anyone being okay with it#like no matter how kind and understanding and sweet i am to people its never gonna make up for the fact that my body is grossly ugly#and i cant blame anyone for not liking me i get it.#sorry#this is a problem i have#bacause i just usually pretend my body doesnt exist and i wear pretty loose fitting dresses that cover me completely so but#even though i am what i am#sometimes you happen to meet a nice person and they are polite and dont seem disgusted by your existance so then your traitorous brain t#thinks hey maybe this person would be willing to marry us someday if they got to know us. which is so silly becuz theres no way thatd ever#so it makes me sad when i should be happy that a nice person talked to me. yay good job successful friendlyness. but it has to remind me#that i had this expectation from when i was a kid that id marry somone and have at least 3 kids and love my kids and take care of them and#give them everything i needed when i was a kid. and of course that never happened. because i never dated anyone. because people dont just#magically get married out of nowhere. its stupid. so i keep trying to be okay with whatever. but i guess i never stopped wanting a family.#which we know im aroace now so. i need to stop. but my brain is always bothering me about this.#why can't i just accept that no one will ever love me. why cant i be happy that they dont?#ive got cats#someday i will have irl friends again#sorry i think everything would be so much easier if i was just#this isnt a problem with an easy solutiom#i guess im gonna try to do the useless excercises again because at least it will look like im trying even though nothing will change
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coolestfinch · 2 months ago
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i have a question.
do y’all think it’s justified to quit a job with no notice, period?
& with that: do you think it’s justified to quite a job with no notice, when you know you have coworkers who will undoubtedly suffer the consequences?
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david-watts · 15 days ago
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I think at this point I'm immune to gaslighting like fucking try me. don't say 'I haven't rearranged the pantry' when you have, actually, and made a massive fuss about it
#further evidence that I need to leave this fucking house because oh GOD I literally can't have anything#I can't! packets of curry? gone! we don't need that when we have fucking keen's curry powder#which is not the same thing and also I hate that stuff because it gets used as an ingredient in the worst dishes known to man#this man at least.#I bought some batter mix packets to spice up when I do cook katsu and those have gone. pak choy? gone.#anyway so I think 'well can't cook what I was going to' and so I go to try and make something else only to discover food encrusted#onto everything I touch. it's all greasy too. it's disgusting. and I can't say anything about it because it's my fault apparently#like it's my fault for not washing up that everything's dirty. WHY CAN'T YOU WASH UP??? WHY IS IT MY FAULT#I an't say anything because they just deny deny deny and blame ME. and say 'nothing can be your fault can it'#well if it's very fucking obviously NOT MY FAULT. of COURSE it's not! dodging the blame at every opportunity because it's just nicer#if it's the cockup dropout grandson that you don't like.#I'm already quite upset because I feel like I'm in trouble for having needed new clothes since nobody actually wants to stop the dog#from eating mine. like if you didn't want to have to spend money don't fucking. stand there whenever you see her steal things#and don't randomly open my door to snoop because I know you do that. I've seen you do it. it's fucking weird#anyway don't lie to my face and call me crazy when I know that you're lying. you've done this too much for me to fall for it
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sege-h · 4 months ago
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Ummmm it doesnt matter that character ages were removed from the Sonic character profiles they do still have their old canon ages and if you think that actualllyyyyy they never acted or sounded like those ages then youre a creep looking for excuses to put them in adult situations :/ Like thats child endangerment that you're depicting there??? Why do you wanna see that blorbo of yours beaten and bloodied and traumatized??? You ACTUALLY wanna beat up kids? You freak??
And why are you drawing him driving a fucking car he should not be driving a car he's a child! And STOP drawing Shadow with guns!!! Children shouldn't have those!
And while you're at it, stop drawing art of Amy working at a bakery! Like wow what a freak you actually want to break child labor laws in real life???
I know plenty of 12 year olds that own apartments and cars of their own, so I can confirm that these characters were always ALWAYS meant to be their previously listed canon ages! If you say otherwise youre a freak!
(This is Not a serious post, for the love of god)
#Personal#Am I going thru it tonight? Yes I am! Did something become the final drop that spilled the water? YES IT DIIID. AND THE FIRST THING WASNT E#EVEN RELATED TO THIS MESS#Im fucking tired im TIRED#I dont like nsfw! Guess what I do? I dont fucking look at it#I dont go digging up some VERY SERIOUS ACCUSATIONS to throw at people instead!#Fucking separate fiction from reality do you people realize that#1- You have watered down a very dangerous word that no longer means anything#Am I seeing a serious accusation of someone or am I seeing someone thats basically going 'i dont like what they draw/write' and trying to t#turn it into a moral issue? I dont know!#And guess who that fucking benefits because it sure isnt the kids?#2- Yall are one degree of separation from evangelical purists and that one degree is the name#Because guess who else goes 'THIS IS BAD FOR THE CHILDREN' and 'THESE QUEER TERMS ARE BAD' (and not im not talking about top and bottom)#Im going fucking insane I feel like in a few years this post wont even be that much of a parody#I feel like we will indeed get a repeat of 'Stop drawing these characters doing flips off buildings or running in front of trucks! The chi#The children will be inspired to do the same!' times#And people Still wont see the parallels between themselves and very very dangerous hateful people#(And no the dangerous person isn't the one drawing your NOTP or the thing that squicks you out. Perfectly tagged for you to avoid it. But y#you wont. Because you'd rather go out of your way to upset yourself then blame that person for your upset feelings#and then harass them and act like you did the world a favor (youve done nothing youve just harassed a random person))#Can we please PLEASE go back to avoiding the type of art or writing we dont wanna see#And doing so quietly instead of forever ruining someone's life#And forever ruining words that actually used to mean something and that were actually useful in pointing out dangerous people
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