#there's definitely more so i may post more later
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I'm taking this derailed post all the way to the end of the alternate route!
I stopped taking T when I was about 35, and I wish now that I had stayed on a low dose, at the very least. Estrogen has not been good for my mental or physical health, and testosterone can't undo all the permanent changes. (I went back on T almost a year ago, and many things are better for me.)
Bone density loss is a real problem, especially if you don't consume a lot of real (not vegan) dairy. Hot flashes were/are super distressing for my autistic senses, and even neurotypical folks hate them. Brain fog is real, crying all the time is real, and brief psychotic episodes can definitely happen if you already have PMDD when your estrogen levels fall. You don't need psych meds; you need a hormone (or 2 or 3.) Low dose T is still prescribed to cis women in perimenopause for low libido, so you can probably try out a micro dose to see how it goes, but it won't be enough T to replace all your estrogen later.
Bother your doctors over and over again if you do not get relief from the hot flashes, brain fog, painful/extreme periods, and other related symptoms of low hormone levels! Call their office or send a message to their web portal! Ask your GYN to refer you to a different GYN if they can't or won't help you get a good hormone balance. I had to "fire" 2 gynecologists before I found one who had any idea of what a normal, therapeutic dose of estrogen is. (They were giving me 1/20 of what I needed.)
Hot tip if you are at risk for uterine cancer: an IUD with progesterone in it will prevent uterine cancer. Mirena is one brand, but there are others. They were used during the shutdown in 2020 to help women with uterine cancer who were not able to get surgery right away. It stopped their cancer from progressing. (there may be exceptions, but this is what the good GYN said.)
Also, oral estrogen hrt does not cause breast cancer or heart attacks like they used to think. There's evidence that it improves cardio-vascular health for patients who need it, because having no sex hormones is just so universally bad for you.
It's tough to advocate for yourself in the medical bureaucracy, but it's easier when you have some information to take with you. Perimenopause can start much earlier than you think, so if you're over 30, I recommend doing some web searches now. Good sites include nih.gov mayoclinic.org clevelandclinic.org and reddit.com, really! There are forums there about hormones and menopause and more! Good luck. (p.s. feel free to Ask me about any of this stuff, although I am not a medical professional.)
Gather around, my young friends and fellow dinosaurs, let me tell you about some BULLSHIT no one ever tells you about. I'm talking about menopause and perimenopause. Now, menopause has a very stringent medical definition. You have to not have had a period for exactly 12 months and a day to be considered in menopause. All the bullshit before that day once you start going through The Change is considered perimenopause. Here's some bullshit you might experience that people actually talk about when you're in perimenopause:
- shorter time between periods
- irregular periods
- hot flashes and/or cold flashes
- fucked up sleep
- OMG NIGHT SWEATS
- Vagina as dry as the Sahara desert
- lighter periods and/or endless bleeding like it's The Flood but it's in your pants
- lack of interest in Adult Fun Times
This time of joy can last anywhere from a couple of years to a god damn decade and there's no medical way right now to predict it.
Here's some of the REAL bullshit they don't tell you about but your dinosaur aunt is here to let you know:
- You can start perimenopause in your 30s, don't listen to idiot doctors who tell you you're "too young" because they don't know your body like you do.
- Perimenopause will make you HELLA DUMB. Seriously, I'm talking Bigly broken brain. Brain fog? Check. Short term memory? Wave goodbye to it. Ability to make words form out of thoughts? Yeah, good luck to you.
- Perimenopause can cause horrible fatigue because in addition to losing estrogen, you're also losing testosterone. Oh and that also leads to muscle wasting, cool cool.
- Things might suddenly hurt more because estrogen is known to be neuroprotective.
- If you're super lucky like I am, and like to collect rare illnesses, you might even get Burning Mouth Syndrome 💀
- And meanwhile, while you're going through this bullshit, you'll be getting gaslit by doctors who are operating based on 30 year old debunked data about how HRT causes breast cancer (not really) and that they shouldn't put you on it until you're in actual menopause. (Data shows starting HRT early can potentially prevent Alzheimer's in later years.)
- There are entire online clinics right now (I use Midi Health) focused on providing care for peri and menopausal patients and they will happily prescribe you HRT even if your regular PCP or OBGYN do not (if you meet the criteria). I've been pretty impressed with how holistically they view the patient. For full disclosure, I learned about them from my integrative health doctor and they do not accept Medicare (yet).
I'm 46 years old right now and I've been symptomatic for perimenopause for the last 8 years, although it's gotten the most dramatic in the past 2 years or so, which I hope means I'm almost done, holy hell. Yeah I was on the early side, but if it can happen to me, it can happen to you, so it's never too early to think about these things. And I hope to at least spare some of you the mind-fuckery I've been through because no one told me about most of this stuff, including my own mother who just DOESN'T REMEMBER what happened to her and now I completely understand why. And because I also have a connective tissue disease, I used to just dismiss my pain and fatigue as being caused by that illness rather than the loss of hormones.
Anyways, this is why we need Elders in our lives, so they can do Grandma Story Hour like I just did and validate you when the entire medical field tries to gaslight you. I hope you've found some or all of this educational/useful. Please share with your friends because we really do NOT talk about this stuff enough. (Ewwww Moon Blood!)
Stay well, and don't let the bastards grind you down!
#perimenopause#menopause#menopause for trans#aging#trans aging#hormone replacement therapy#oral estrogen#testosterone
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{McGucket Family Tree}
I did promise to extend my lore and story for Fiddleford just as I did for Emma May in this post, buuuut for today I’ll be doing a more general Fiddleford family post without diving into his life in depth (I swear I will get to it eventually though. Today will just be small details and their designs :P )
The McGucket family definitely gives off ‘weirdo’ vibes. They’re a well known family in the town, but they always have a bizarre aura about them that sets them all apart from the rest
Bobbie Jean, his mother, and Arlo, his father, settled a bit later into a family than most others would in town, but their patient natures only brought about a very loving family
Blanche is the first born followed by Fiddleford some years after, but now you may ask, ‘why doesn’t anyone else have a goofy name?’
Per McGucket family tradition the first born son is always to have an unconventional or silly name, otherwise it’ll bring about bad luck. The McGuckets are very superstitious people after all!
To play off the weirdo vibe and unconventional energy of the family though I feel all of the McGucket kids have something about them that keeps them apart from most others
Blanche isn’t interested in romance or relationships despite the towns folk gossiping and calling her a spinster for her age
Fiddleford is exceptionally smart and capable of things beyond average comprehension
Lenore is artsy, independent, and favors women over men. Thankfully her parents would never force her into a marriage and protect her at home
Darla is the sweetest kid you’ll ever meet, but her anxiety is 10x worse than Fidds, speech not easy for her even with her own family
Huck is the second born son, but definitely not a farm kid. He detests everything about it and has tried on many occasions to set the pigs free
And then Sally has zero filter, enough said on that. She wastes no punches verbally and struggles to make friends on account of it
But then of course there’s the newest lady in the McGucket family, Emma May. I could talk for hours about her, but joining the family wasn’t exactly the smoothest transition for her
Growing up in a very unorthodox setting with cult influence she was unused to being welcomed into a home where kindness was given without strings attached
The McGuckets were more than happy to help her understand this though and even happier to learn about the woman who managed to steal their (usually socially inept) sons heart
While poor as the McGucket family is I imagine their family home has been with them for generations. Naturally as the family grows so too must the house. I’d imagine their place looks a bit of a mess with all the steady added additions to the house and barn, but it’s all so chaotically organized and right it difficult to not be endeared
While the main house is packed and lovely most of everyone spends the majority of their day out working the land and taking care of the animals
Thankfully they are not alone as the family is quite extended and equally generous and kind
There are plenty more men who have fallen victim to the silly name tradition that the McGuckets have, but the two closest in age to Fiddleford are the most relevant
Thistlebert and Diddsley were really his only friends aside from his siblings growing up, but really these two already felt like older brothers anyway
Thistlebert has an affinity for ‘saucer people’ always curious of alien life even if he doesn’t have the intellect of Fidds to understand it
Meanwhile Diddsley acts as more of the enthusiast for chaos. Always encouraging Fiddleford when they were kids to make the next big thing for them to wreak havoc with. Be that mini pig robots or tractors that can go over 80 mph, he was always the first to give suggestions
Like I said, this will not be the post where I hyper focus on Fiddleford himself, but to conclude I’ll simply say- The McGucket family is literally so silly
Like they’re all very capable and hardworking people, but they will find time to be fun and enjoy their lives without being serious all of the time
In a way it helps them cope with the conditions of their lives and the struggles that they realize most likely will never go away
But despite that every generation becomes more and more optimistic, Fiddleford’s literal dream to be that he an make enough money to provide for his own family one day
#gravity falls#the book of bill#book of bill#gravity falls fandom#emma may dixon#gravity falls oc#gravity falls fanart#fiddleford mcgucket#fanart#oc#young fiddleford#gravity falls thoughts#tate mcgucket#fiddemma
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Altmeri Customs Headcanons: Praxis and Engagement/Wedding Ceremonies!
So I was inspired to share my Altmeri headcanons after seeing @thescrolls-haveforetold's post about Altmer engagements! I’m gonna combine my thoughts on the important stuff :3 I'm gonna try to write this in a way that's easy for those unfamiliar with ESO's additional lore. I'm just having fun here building upon lore/worldbuilding. >:) I'm sorry. I think I wrote another long post 😅 At least it's not political this time? lol
Let’s start with: Praxis
Basically Altmeri coming of age. It’s best talked about in The Price of Praxis book. As mentioned in the book, the age of adulthood is 18 and the ceremony is done in a chapel. (I’m getting traumatic flashbacks to Catholic Confirmation. Ick) It's here I would think their "Path to Alaxon" (perfection) truly begins. They're given a calian (aetherquartz sphere) for their Praxis ceremony, and later given an alaxon sphere when they attain a degree of perfection. Both can be broken if they fail society/fall from their path. Both can be restored, but that's harder depending how far the Altmer has "fallen". Anyways!
I like to think there are stages an Altmer must follow prior to their Praxis ceremony!
Pre-ceremony Preparations
The initiate spends months or even years preparing for the Praxis, studying Altmeri history, magical theory, philosophy, and genealogy. This phase reflects their intellectual mastery and connection to their ancestors.
The initiate undergoes ritual purification, bathing in enchanted waters infused with moonstone dust or blessed by a priestess of Auri-El. This act cleanses them of "impurities" and aligns them with the divine.
An elder or accomplished mage from their family or community guides them, ensuring they are prepared both physically and spiritually. A sponsor would help aspiring artisans.
2. Ritual of Reflection
They visit a Hall of Ancestry, where the initiate stands before effigies or spirit-glamours of their ancestors.
The initiate recites their full lineage in the ancient Aldmeri/Altmeri language, emphasizing their connection to their noble bloodline. Any mistake in this recital could signify dishonor.
The spirits may present a vision or riddle to test the initiate’s wisdom and worthiness, offering cryptic advice or challenges they must overcome.
3. A Test of Mastery
This would be a public display of what they plan to do for their Path to Alaxon. The skill could be magical, martial, artistic, or intellectual. (Ex: Lilliandra does a grand displays of music and illusions for years before her ceremony.) This display must reflect their personal aptitude and the ideals of their noble house. Failure is considered shameful and may result in further training.
4. Receiving Their Calian
All we know is they are made of aetherquartz (and sun-blown glass from the cited book). So in terms of appearance? Go crazy. Maybe (likely) the higher in status, the more brilliant the calian looks.
It's done in a chapel, with family in pews. An Ascendant Curate gives the calian after reciting the Athel Vialen (a prayer? a hymn?). Easy to take religious inspirations to fill in the blanks.
5. Post-Ceremony
Depending on the status would depend on how big this celebration would be. Poor family? It would be a smaller, more intimate celebration. The higher the status, the larger the celebration. Families could give offerings to the Divines here or before. Speeches, feasts. The Altmer being celebrated could hunt for more sponsors in the party.
Okay. That's done. On to:
Engagement/Wedding Customs
I'm taking inspiration from customs worldwide. But my biggest would be Chinese pre-wedding customs.
But first - arranged marriages definitely would be/are big considering the Altmer are famous for their interest in lineage and heritage over attraction. It's even more important to highborn Altmer. Inter-class and interracial marriages would be looked down upon, if not outright reviled . We know in the 2nd Era breaking an arranged betrothal leaves both parties as outcasts to their own families and communities. I imagine divorces are also likely HIGHLY shameful. (Hopefully there's scenarios where it would be understandable)
Matchmaking is said to take years or decades before one becomes betrothed. I wouldn't be surprised if this matchmaking started around the time they became adults, if not sooner for the highest nobles. Because Altmer live longer than humans and beastfolk (and I think Bosmer??), it's not a surprise they take time with matchmaking and engagements.
My headcanons: So matchmaking taking perhaps 5-10 years on average. They normally take into account: the couple's star charts, pedigree documents, family, physicality, and other attributes. When the families agree, they start the "traditional rites".
Formal proposal- this is the announcement of the engagement. This would be a ceremony in itself, within a temple/chapel for both families. A priest would petition to the Aedra. I could see the Altmer be extra and make this almost like a mini wedding ceremony.
Selection of the Date - this would be done under the guidance of priests. They would pray to the Aedra to divine the most auspicious date.
Visit Ancestral Shrines - they would pray to both families' ancestral spirits for their blessings
Betrothal Gifts - Throughout the engagement, both parties exchange gifts. This is also a way to prove both parties are compatible. Gifts can vary based off ancestral regions; local foods, jewelry and items made within the region, etc.
Wedding Ceremony - the final rite
Engagements I could see lasting anywhere from 5-15 years. Maybe both parties are busy with their Path to Alaxon and agree to have a later wedding date so they can focus on the Path (or for other reasons).
I also want some symbolism. "By the five-and-three" is a common Altmer saying which invokes the 8 Divines. I chose 5 rites for the engagement.
Unfortunately my wedding headcanons aren't as well thought out. But I'll try my best. Maybe you guys can help with your headcanons? Okay, here we go:
To fit with the "five-and-three" theme, the wedding celebrations would last three days! I can give elements that I think might fit, but none of these are in any specific order like all above. Here are some possible elements:
Sacred rituals performed by priests.
Purification rites using water or incense.
A focus on family and ancestors, considering the Altmer’s respect for lineage.
Typical offerings to the Aedra for blessings
The higher the statue, the more elaborate ceremonies/celebrations naturally. Maybe a solemn atmosphere with an emphasis on traditional attire and ceremonial precision. But maybe the lower class would break from that mold and make it a merrier, more intimate celebration!
Invitations extended based on social rank and importance.
A heavy emphasis on proper etiquette, decorum, and public display of wealth and prestige.
Elaborate jewelry and ceremonial robes for the bride and groom
OH, my fav headcanon: I like to image they elaborating paint their skin in some gold mica product, invoking their relationship of being descendants of the Aedra. Think almost like Henna, which is done in traditional Indian weddings!!
The couple would recite ancient vows in the Aldmeri tongue, emphasizing tradition and continuity with their ancestors.
A high-ranking ancestor or spirit might be invoked to witness the union and provide a blessing.
Sorry if this is a mess of ideas. 😅 I have no plans to actually write a wedding in my fanfic. But this is still fun to think about!
#tes#the elder scrolls#tesblr#altmer#altmeri culture#altmeri customs#tes headcanons#altmer headcanons#headcanons
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Songs that are RWBY songs to me
A whole 4 people said they wanted this. This is really gonna show you which characters I think about most lmao
Rivers in the Desert (Lolia)
Winter Schnee in Atlas in V7-8? This is her song, especially in that V8 fight against Ironwood.
Training Montage (The Mountain Goats)
This is Neopolitan post V3, specifically the time between the V3 finale and when we see her again in V6, bonus if you think about the very end as V9 right at the end of ch8
World Burn (Taylor Louderman, Mean Girls)
Cinder Song Ever. Plus you can replace Kady with Ruby every time. It's fun.
See The Day (The Althogether)
Ruby Rose at the end of V9 would maybe cry if she heard this song but in a good way
Honeybee (Steam Powered Giraffes)
It's bumbleby you already know
Special Girl (Dodie)
Pyrrha Nikos really was doomed before she began, wasn't she? This is just Her Song
You're Not Welcome (Naethan Apollo)
This is a Yang Song, and it reminds me of both her fights with Neo and Adam, in which she didn't fare so well the first time around, but came back to fight them again
The Greatest (They Might Be Giants)
Jaune song.
World Spins Madly On (The Weepies)
This is simultaneously a Taiyang losing Summer song and a V4 Yang losing Blake song. They understand each other. And it works well with the song being a duet, just listen to it, you'll understand.
Hummingbird (The Weepies)
This is such a Nora song about her and Ren, and I love it and her and them dearly
I'd Rather Sleep (Kero Kero Bonito)
This is just RWBY: Ice Queendom. The whole thing. In one song.
Candle Queen (Ghost and Pals)
I lied earlier THIS is the Cinder Song Ever, like I'm not kidding THE most Cinder Fall song to ever exist it's literally her
So Alright, Cool, Whatever (The Happy Fits)
We can have a Sun pining after Blake but letting her go and wanting her to be happy song. As a treat.
Be Nice To Me (The Front Bottoms)
I was very neutral on Emercury as a ship until I heard this song and realized the first half is Emerald and the second half is Mercury and now I feel things about them, although this can also work for them platonically as well
P.U.N.K Girl (Heavenly)
This is bumbleby Yang is SO p.u.n.k girl coded and Blake loves her so much
Despair (leo.)
Whiterose song. Weiss is so scared to be in love that she denies that shit so hard. The lady really DOTH protest too much.
Clover (Louie Zong)
Too easy, it's a Fair Game song, but like, it's PERFECT
The Family Jewels (MARINA)
Schnee children, no explanation needed.
Christmas Kids (Roar)
This is Ozlem energy and you cannot tell me otherwise, their whole backstory, it's here
Partners in Crime (Set It Off)
THE Gelato/Pumkin Spice Ice Cream/whatever you want to call Roman and Neo song
Ghost of Chicago (Noah Floersch)
We can have a Qrow pining after Summer song but letting her go and wanting her to be happy. As a treat.
DEATH OF A PREDATOR (Banshee)
I have both versions of this song on my RWBY vibes playlist bc fuck Adam all my homies hate Adam, I'm not saying he deserved it (just kidding, I'm absolutely saying he deserved it)
Kids (Current Joys)
I just want all these children to be happy. That's all this song is for.
#there's definitely more so i may post more later#but here's a start#my playlist is like five hours long so#RWBY#Ruby Rose#yang xiao long#blake belladonna#weiss schnee#neopolitan#bumbleby#roman torchwick#winter schnee#sun Wukong#jaune arc#nora valkyrie#lie ren#renora#summer Rose#taiyang xiao long#cinder fall#clover ebi#fairgame
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"[Elizabeth Woodville's] piety as queen seems to have been broadly conventional for a fifteenth-century royal, encompassing pilgrimages, membership of various fraternities, a particular devotion to her name saint, notable generosity to the Carthusians, and the foundation of a chantry at Westminster after her son was born there. ['On other occasions she supported planned religious foundations in London, […] made generous gifts to Eton College, and petitioned the pope to extend the circumstances in which indulgences could be acquired by observing the feast of the Visitation']. One possible indicator of a more personal, and more sophisticated, thread in her piety is a book of Hours of the Guardian Angel which Sutton and Visser-Fuchs have argued was commissioned for her, very possibly at her request."
-J.L. Laynesmith, "Elizabeth Woodville: The Knight's Widow", Later Plantagenet and Wars of the Roses Consorts: Power, Influence, Dynasty
#historicwomendaily#elizabeth woodville#my post#friendly reminder that there's nothing indicating that Elizabeth was exceptionally pious or that her piety was 'beyond purely conventional'#(something first claimed by Anne Crawford who simultaneously claimed that Elizabeth was 'grasping and totally lacking in scruple' so...)#EW's piety as queen may have stood out compared to former 15th century predecessors and definitely stood out compared to her husband#but her actions in themselves were not especially novel or 'beyond normal' and by themselves don't indicate unusual piety on her part#As Laynesmith's more recent research observes they seem to have been 'broadly conventional'#A conclusion arrived at Derek Neal as well who also points out that in general queens and elite noblewomen simply had wider means#of 'visible material expression of [their] personal devotion' - and also emphasizes how we should look at their wider circumstances#to understand their actions (eg: the death of Elizabeth's son George in 1479 as a motivating factor)#It's nice that we know a bit about Elizabeth's more personal piety - for eg she seems to have developed an attachment to Westminster Abbey#It's possible her (outward) piety increased across her queenship - she undertook most of her religious projects in later years#But again - none of them indicate the *level* of her piety (ie: they don't indicate that she was beyond conventionally pious)#By 1475 it seems that contemporaries identified Cecily Neville as the most personally devout from the Yorkist family#(though Elizabeth and even Cecily's sons were far greater patrons)#I think people also assume this because of her retirement to Westminster post 1485#which doesn't work because 1) we don't actually know when she retired? as Laynesmith says there is no actual evidence for the traditional#date of 12 February 1487#2) she had very secular reasons for retiring (grief over the death of her children? her lack of dower lands or estates which most other#widows had? her options were very limited; choosing to reside in the abbey is not particularly surprising. it's a massive and unneeded jump#to claim that it was motivated solely by piety (especially because it wasn't a complete 'retirement' in the way people assume it was)#I think historians have a habit of using her piety as a GOTCHA!' point against her vilification - which is a flawed and stupid argument#Elizabeth could be the most pious individual in the world and still be the pantomime villain Ricardians/Yorkists claim she was#They're not mutually exclusive; this line of thinking is useless#I think this also stems from the fact that we simply know very little about Elizabeth as an individual (ie: her hobbies/interests)#certainly far less than we do for other prominent women Margaret of Anjou; Elizabeth of York;; Cecily Neville or Margaret Beaufort#and I think rather than emphasizing that gap of knowledge her historians merely try to fill it up with 'she was pious!'#which is ... an incredibly lackluster take. I think it's better to just acknowledge that we don't know much about this historical figure#ie: I do wish that her piety and patronage was emphasized more yes. but it shouldn't flip too far to the other side either.
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I was having fun with making up their voices! I've also decided to solve a question of languages (languages color-coded to avoid confusion).
Also, this one has quite a lot of tiny text, so I've included transcripts.
[ID: a list illustrated with colored doodles of characters' heads. Titled Who speaks what?
Igna [cartoon picture of Igna's face drawn in brick red color]: Native language: illiraian (southwestern regional form). Understands enough elvish to know when she's being threatened, and can ask for directions, but not much more.
Argo [cartoon picture of Argo's face drawn in sap green color]: Native language: northern elvish. Fluent in illiraian, hardly discernible accent. (it took Igna 3 months to figure out what's off - he rolls 'R' a bit too hard and his vowels sometimes are pronounced too close to the back of his throat).
Theria [cartoon picture of Theria's face drawn in muted brown color]: Native language: Samhran. Fluent in illiraian, audible samhran accent (difficulty pronouncing consonant clusters, palatalising 'L's and 'T"s, mixing up vowels and dyphtongs, sometimes sing-song affect to the vowels). Speaks basic Andaran and broken Omtheron.
Daen [cartoon picture of Daen's face drawn in violet color]: Native language: Moer. Fluent in illiraian, Andaran and gods know what else. Communicative in old elvish. Understands both dwarven languages, but speaks neither. No discernible accent in illiraian.
Haart [cartoon picture of Haart's face drawn in blue]: Native language: Kará (east-dwarvish). Fluent in illiraian (mostly without an
accent, but he often switches soft and hard 'H'). Understands some Andaran and Omtheron. Knows his local variety of sign language.
Knows some expressions in samhran (exclusively swearwords and toasts).]
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Results: Igna is a spoiled kid, she's the only one in the group who has the luxury of speaking her native language day-to-day. She grew up in complete nowhere, with a very scarce contact with other languages. Tentative A1 in elvish, due to her dad trying to teach her.
Argo probably had the knowledge of Illiraian hammered into his head during his education - inhabitants of Riss speak exclusively a dialect of elvish day-to-day, but the duchy is an enclave, and it would be severely imparing not to know the neighbors' language.
Theria has been away from home long enough to gain a pretty good grasp of Illiraian, and has around B1 level in Andaran. Both spoken with a pretty thick accent, her native language is from a different language family with a strikingly different phototactics, and she's learnt the foreign languages pretty late.
Daen speaks many languages, and all of them pretty well. Maybe it's his long lifespan, but it's possible he's got a knack for language learning.
Haart has had a similar situation to Argo in a sense he's lived in a close neighboorhood of another language and learnt it in childhood. He comes from a merchant house, so it's understandable his family would want him to know foreign languages.
[ID: a scale diagram titled "profanity meter" Left to right: Daen titled "Apocalyptic event indicator", Igna titled "curses when hurt", Argo titled "curses if pissed", Haart titled "curses to emphasise" and Theria titled "Fuck is a sentence divider"]
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I have to face the fact that Theria most probably has a severe case of unwashed mouth. Her mercenary career spans a good few years when she enters the stage and she doesn't seem like the type to watch her language, so in all probability she doesn't even notice that she curses like a sailor.
[ID: a list titled "Voice and expression". On the left side there's an up-and-down double ended arrow titled "pitch". Characters from top to bottom:
Igna: Easily the highest voice of the group. Clean, and rather strong despite it. Makes an open and honest impression when speaking, fairly good singing voice.
Theria: on the lower side of feminine voices, full-bodied voice with a bit of a vocal fry, on average way louder than the rest of the group. Enjoys singing, but easily dominates a choir
Argo: rather raspy, matte voice. Has a tendency to mutter - the limited sensitivity on the scarred side of his face makes it harder to speak clearly. Speaks quite fast despite of this. Can't hold a note for his life.
Haart: soft, full baritone. Probably the nicest laughter. Nice singing voice, talks with his hands a lot. Makes a characteristic huff when he's nervous.
Daen: low, resonant voice. Clear pronounciation. Reticent, rarely talks more than necessary. Makes a formal impression.]
Last but not least, my trials to work out how would they probably sound like. (I'm not really one to do voiceclaims).
#OC#Isaldi#worldbuilding#Igna Sharille#Argo Riss'Aerle#Theria The Cold Paw#Daen#Haart#cw: swearwords#long post#I tend to not imagine the voices of the characters clearly enough when I write so this is as well a cheat sheet for me#I think I like the idea of Haart using his cursed hands as a mean of communication#feat. a bit of language related nerding#don't be fooled - I am not going to think up 8 different conlangs XD#best I can do is a vague idea of how they sound - maybe someday I'll have a rough sketch of some features of elvish grammar#mostly because it features heavily in the story - apart from Igna's father and Argo Yrreth is an elf too#he speaks a different dialect - I think there's around five#maybe six full generations of separation between the northern and the southern dialect#they still mostly understand each other but these are definitely different#the reason why I've included their singing voices is that there is no magical tape recorders in Isaldi#so the general population will naturally sing and play instruments a lot more as a pasttime#Argo makes up for his terrible singing voice with his ability to play instruments#he's got a courtly education so it's pretty normal#I'm still very much not sure if I'm doing transcripts/IDs right#I may post a version without them later too but I'm not sure if it doesn't defeat the purpose of them
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hear me out
age regressor percy
fucked up childhood (worse later obviously but his parents were still the people that they were)
didn't get to be a boy child
desperately needs a healthy coping mechanism
needs to have fun n not care abt how he's being perceived. or other people's problems. he should be able to be a bit selfish
also this is just a thing that happens w bpd sometimes (childhood trauma, "you wouldn't abandon a baby" etc)
he is already just fucking immature. won't feel fucked up and broken for not having decent emotional regulation skills
my canon evidence is that he has bpd* and looked at some children's books once
he would be extremely weird about it (straight up ashamed of it)
#hfth#hello from the hallowoods#percy reed#me: ugh i don't want people to infantilize him#also me:#/j#*its not canonically definitely bpd he just exhibits the symptoms#age regression#may reblog with more specific headcanons later. or make separate post. trust me i have so many good ones.#also. ive seen at least 2 percy kinnies that age regress that has to mean something.
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(Milgram self-insert oc masterpost hehe)
Name: For the sake of posting online I’ll call her Rose!
Color: #E7355B [the pink in the art]
Age: I guess she’d be 20 given when Milgram started huh.
Status: Milgram Staff, Machine Technician
Symbols/imagery: ballet/musical theater, science experiments
Song genre: very similar to Mahiru's, something upbeat and extra pop-y
Tentatively she's number 011? She's not really prisoner but she's also not free to come and go, so I'm not actually sure if she'd get a number (Edit: I've decided she'll actually be 012. Staff is given the 01X range, and even though Es doesn't actively have a number they'd be staff member 011, making her 012.)
Story: Since the project is supposed to be realistic/present day, the mv machine would be brand new and unpredictable tech, so they’d want someone keeping up on maintenance and making sure the brain-invasive process won’t cause any harm to the prisoners. Rose was studying abroad in Japan working on some cool neuroscience tech (irl I know nothing about technology or brains but shh) and she stumbled upon some secret tech/plans from Milgram. Long story short, she was dragged into the experiment to make sure things ran smoothly.
Writer's Reasoning: She’s really fun for me to play around with, as she allows me to work with a character who has a tiny bit of pull over Es’ mindset in conversation but not the final decision (aka mirroring the voting system), and someone who is simultaneously trapped in the prison but has a reason to see all the canon content.* I really enjoy the character interactions and dynamics Milgram has set up so far, so it’s been super fun seeing how things change for better and worse when someone not quite aligned with either Milgram/the prisoners is thrown into the mix!
*As much as I love dramatic irony in fiction, it would drive me crazy if I knew every detail of of the vds/mvs but Rose didn't – and every single Milgram character is The Worst Communicator Ever so I couldn’t justify that she’d hear it secondhand from them...
Story roles:
She’s a bit conflicted -- she’s officially Milgram staff and knows she should remain neutral on the prisoners, since she won’t be allowed to interfere with the process/executions. At the same time, her job description is literally “make sure the machine doesn't hurt them and everyone's safe :)” and she's way too emotional to avoid getting hopelessly attached to everyone 😅
I really enjoy the theory that the machine extracts videos based off of priming, so one of Rose’s duties involves listening in on the interrogation and making sure there’s been enough material discussed/not too much time has passed overall (hence the ringing of the bell happening at different lengths for each vd -- That's her ringing it :3). She then watches the mvs along with Es to make sure there are no machine glitches, and know how to calibrate it better for next time.
(IEdit: I've since decided to add in official trial mvs, but before when I wasn't ready to tackle that:) She has to run some tests on the machine to make sure things are calibrated correctly, so she'd extract little things here and there. It gives me the opportunity to think up lyric snippets and recurring symbols for her without worrying about full encompassing music videos.
I'm not afraid to admit she can fall into Mary Sue territory every so often by being everyone's friend, because it's less about "aw everyone likes her" and more about "canon is too painful rn and I need a fix-it tool to take care of these guys and give them hugs and tell them someone forgives them and cares about them and unfortunately these characters wouldn't let anyone less than a friend do that." Rest assured she's definitely not perfect and will fuck everything up on occasion :3
Miscellaneous: Whenever I play around with normal au ideas she's still working on the machine (but in a public, more ethical setting), and she's Mahiru's roommate :) Her character isn't super focused on love, but if I had to pick a cover song it'd be Stickybug II. It's very much my vibe, the lyrics fit well enough (better than most songs, at least lol) and it's one of my favorites out of my limited knowledge of unchosen Deco songs! (Edit, I've actually given her non-deco cover songs hehe)
So yeah, I hope she's not too boring without a cool crime to decipher, but I wanted to share since I was really proud of her! It took a bit of tinkering to find a way to fit her into a perfect secret-third-thing role that runs very smoothly with all of canon, so I was very excited!
#waaahh posting before i chicken out#I've never posted about a self-insert so please be kind lmao 😅#i dont expect a ton of hype for her but if people have questions im always down to talk about her hehe#this is my only art -- i rarely draw oc stuff but i was really happy with how this came out#i definitely dont think shed get a number or those side rune straps by canon standards but the art wouldnt look right without them#im mad that the lab coat and gloves make her look a bit like shidous design :/ i definitely wanted more scientist vibes than doctor#dw she wears her PPE when she works on the machine 😤#yeah yeah theres some shipping aspects sue me -- but genuinely its mostly for fun character studying and fix-its#mkdr and neoneon also hold a special place in my heart but i didnt want to double up on covers#im so sad because she just. doesnt fit into LCSyS#the machine is fake in the au so shed have no opportunity to join the experiment#plus even if i made her generic staff shed just be on the receiving end of the lie with es... which is just canon until the very end adfsdf#WOO huge thank you to kyanako5972 and purgemarchlockdown for enabling me to be annoying once again >:3#and thank you gunsli!! our chat was the first time i ever talked about her and it really gave me a lot of confidence :')#not maintagging but i will edit for organizational tags later#i also may put this on my writing blog at some point but we'll see#my art#rose posts#ocgram#milgram
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if you are 1) currently in a university where your student healthcare covers hormone therapy, and 2) in a good financial, emotional, and social position to start hormone therapy, i would recommend pursuing it. because in my experience, it's a huge pain in the ass to get an endocrinologist once you're on your own
#unless you live near a planned parenthood or another equivalent to that#but in general you might as well take advantage of the mandatory student health insurance while you have it#it's also cheaper than you might expect. my vials cost $40 CAD for 4 months and then the injection materials are like a couple dollars each#for me i got a therapist with the university and asked them to recommend me to one of the uni's doctors#so i got to skip some of the waitlisting process yay#and then even after getting access to hormones i went to the clinic maybe 5 or 6 times because i needed a nurse to help me with injections#all of which was 'free' because it was with the university#now that i'm graduated though i need to find a new endocrinologist and it turns out the process is WAY more complicated on your own 🤡#of course your mileage may vary depending on how based your school is but it's definitely worth checking imo 🤷#beepbeep.txt#wanted to say this because i basically didn't use the uni health services until my last year and i was like 'wow#'i'm actually getting so much shit for free right now'#like i was seeing a therapist and a dietician and the endocrinologist and a nurse simultaneously at one point#and i might've missed out on all that if i didn't have someone tell me how easy it was to get help if you ask the right questions#so there's my word of wisdom for anyone who might benefit from it.......#also going to post tips about injections later because i think that would also help people out 👍
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Your malware as requested
Got Damn he really put his entire pussy into that :miku:
#LOVE MALWARE THANK YOU... i will always accept malware in my inbox#from anyone who knows what i mean when i say malware#tumblr mobile sucks and is bad so i can't scrub through or even play it again until i post this so i may edit with more commentary soon#but god i love how much heart everyone puts into these games#(not sega of america)#I ALSO CAN'T READ THE REST OF THE CAPTION beyond 'is mot' so i should definitely just psot this now and worry about speaking my piece later#shishido kosei#audio#gaiden#i yearn for the mines#or. well. masu does#i yearn for them too but i don't think i can post these things from mobile and i'm too cosy in my bed to go back to my computer#anyway noises i make while throwing hanawa in the air like a battered cat toy
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I have a question what were Annie's og parents like(i mean she was willing to run away with five aliens to be her fathers instead so I don't think they might have been the best😬) or maybe they're dead and were good people idk
A lot of the lore is actually written by @sweetpeaches666, who may be tagged under sugarbutterfly432, thanks to Annie technically being a 3 way OC lmao. There has been nothing solidly concrete about Annie's OG parents beyond the fact that she doesn't know her ancestry and she's had many foster homes AND orphanages to live in (plus it'd also be easier legal wise for the Andromeda 5 to adopt her if she isn't officially someone else's kid at the time)
It's actually why she does ballet, one of her foster mothers wanted to recreate her failed dream, turns out it breeds resentment and a lot of running away :P
What can be said is that Annie's been many different homes and in a constant state of transitioning between them, a prime example of being a refunded kid and all that, something something No Roots by Alice Merton yada yada 'oh no that's relatable'. Her birth parents one way or another have never been in her life, though regardless of what actually happened Annie will always believe that they left her behind like like everyone else did :P
#ask#anonymous#annie andromeda#ben 10 oc#ben 10#if there was a frequent flyer's pass for running away annie would be getting so many check-ins#or whatever happens with frequent flyer stuff idk i don't fly#anyway annie would call herself a jailbird if living in group homes or transition homes fit the definition#she sure does fly the coop enough to make the connection stick#p'andor adopting her out of the blue (give or take the actual time it would legally take to do so) after she tried to mug him#was the biggest shock that left her reeling for a hot fucking minute before she even had the chance to maybe run away again#something something 'what do you have' yada yada 'a smoothie'#annie realises she's been adopted by aliens or at least in the process of being adopted by them during the midst of her confusion#and maybe being kitted out with a room and also a wallet to mooch off of#because while the andromeda 5 are being given parental rights and responsibilities she's living under their roof#if shit goes south she can at least get one of the adults to purge their money on her food and supplies should she run off later#(which doesn't end up happening... at least not seriously with resentment)#sometimes she feels the need to take a breather from a comparably overwhelming amount of love and affection sent her way#let alone the fact that she's getting like 5 adults' care instead of the nuclear 2#which may or may not end up freaking out some of them (ra'ad especially but probably everyone but p'andor)#p'andor being a combination of not fully grasping what a kid on a conceptual level is but also because he first met annie trying to rob him#not exactly points for him in the 'responsible parent' tally but he's far from a single parent#sure technically- since annie's 16 (give or take to match ben's age)- she was soon gonna be too old for the orphanage#p'andor will be the one to look for her (he'll actually insist since the others might freak her out more) even if it means they stay out#just an easy bake oven taking his outdoor cat on a walk- he and annie will return home soon but hey- nothing like a breath of fresh air#anyway the tags hold more details than the post itself lmao tag rambling at it's finest :P#hmm does there need to be a warning for this?
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☕
The live action Scooby-Doo movies?
I did not see this ask until RIGHT now (first time on desktop since crab day, second time since Nov 5 2020 [which was DOUBLY experience since I got my phone taken the same day]) so I'm going to assume this ask got eaten on mobile because tumblr, HOWEVER you poked a bear with this ask anon (as I'm sure you knew when asking) SO without further ado: my Scooby Doo live action opinions
So when you say 'live action Scooby-Doo movies' I'm assuming you're talking about the James Gunn films, starting with Scooby-Doo (2002) followed by Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, just due to like, generally popularity and also the fact that I have actually seen those films. However shoot another ask if you wanted me to include Curse of the Lake Monster in this (because I will if anyone cares and turn this into a live-action scooby dissertation, i'd just need to like. watch the movie first) But anyways where I'm going with this is that this post is about the Gunn movies aka the ones with SMG, Freddie Prinze Jr., Linda Cardellini, and ofc our #1 man, Matthew Lilliard.
Okay so my take on these movies is... complicated. I wouldn't say it's as complicated as my feelings towards SDMI, because I watched the live actions way less as a kid and generally care less about them, but still no matter how much shit I throw at these two movies there are parts that I generally like (even love) that stops me from totally condemning them wholesale. Like the fact that these movies are FUNNY! There's so many moments from this duology that are just beyond iconic "like, that's one of my favorite names!" the whole thing with Scooby in the dress at the airport, ET. CETERA (like I can go on!)
The Gunn movies are genuinely SO fun and I can 100% see and understand how they've stood so well in the public view as a representation of Scooby. HOWEVER, this is where you start to see my problems with them. For the general American, (because that is the audience I'm familiar with) ESPECIALLY millennials and younger, who happen to make up the majority of both people on this site AND people I talk about Scooby with in real life, these movies, and the elements they introduced as "quintessential scooby tropes" are the base of their understanding of the Scooby franchise, along with likely some miscellaneous WAY episodes and maybe SDMI.
Which is where I get pissed off. In the pushing of the narrative of "breaking away" from the Scooby norm, Gunn basically invents (aka totally makes up) an idea of what classic era Scooby was like, cementing an idea of classic Scooby into the public mind that is totally disingenuous and just straight up false. For example, in attempting to portray Daphne as having taken strides to be seen more seriously in solving mysteries and defending herself, it pushes the narrative that in the classic era she WASN'T taken seriously, and only existed as a damsel-in-distress prop of a character, which is just not true??? Like yes, Daphne is clumsy, that's a part of her character, and her friends (because, fun fact, the gang ARE friends) joke about it sometimes because that's what friends DO. Framing that in some kind of sexist "that's all she does" lens is just total bull, especially as gang members fall into secret passageways/get lost etc. in WAY ALL THE DAMN TIME because that's how the plot functions! Like are we calling Velma ditzy for losing her glasses every other episode? Of course not, and Fred falls into passageways all the time, not to MENTION Shaggy and Scooby and all they get up to. Also one last thing on the topic of Daphne, like this idea of her mystery solving skills not being respected by the gang is just so supremely bullshit it amazes me sometimes, especially when she was the LEADER (or leader adjacent) through pretty much all of her appearances in the 1980s [Not that James Gunn could look at '80s era Scooby without spitting on it, but I digress]
AND THIS IS JUST DAPHNE! Like the perceptions pushed towards Fred (and Velma, but mostly Fred) through these movies are just as bad! Like okay, with Fred---In these movies Fred is just an asshole. I hate Gunn Movies!Fred. I mean yeah he can be funny but it's almost always so mean! Almost nothing makes me madder than a mean Fred by the way. If he's putting other gang members down (even halfway, like with his whole "dorky chicks like you turn me on too" line, which... ew) then to me something has gone very, very, VERY, wrong in your basic understanding of Frederick Herman Jones as a character. Like he's the cheerleader! He puts himself in between his friends and danger! He loves nets, and traps, and Elvis impressions, and wrestling, and the trapeze, and cars, and most of all he LOVES sharing the things he loves with his friends! (Sometimes to a bit of an extreme. No one wants to hear about your net facts, Fred) And the live action movies just don't understand that at all. And I know there's maybe something to say I suppose in that some of those aspects of his characterization hadn't been "established yet" by the time "Scooby-Doo" came out in 2002. But it's there if you look. For Fred Jones, being the leader means being the caretaker, (he's the Mom friend what can I say) and any version where he's cruel and arrogant and just DOESN'T CARE about his friends in the way he's shown to in the Gunn movies is just so far from Fred to me it's not even funny. And what makes it even worse for me is that this (or at least something similar) is the idea of Fred that has really spread to the popular culture. Just the "leader", the jock that makes the rules, the one that [insert X adaptation here] finally gave a personality and made interesting (something that has been said more times than I can count for pretty much every gang member, save Shaggy and Scooby).
And I haven't even touched on Velma, and how they gave her a bit of a early 2000s smart superiority girl complex against Daphne, plus the whole makeover thing and etc. etc. The Gunn Movies are pretty much what would happen if you took someone who hadn't seen Scooby since they were 7 years old (and honestly had a pretty negative outlook against it then) and tried to "fix" it, only his memory was so bad he just made up problems (and threw in a good helping of early 2000s style sexism with it) convincing pretty much the entirety of the popular culture that said problems exist and that Gunn was absolutely brilliant for fixing them (and then bringing up said "problems" whenever anyone wants to talk about Scooby) and this entire rant has been without even fucking MENTIONING what is probably the reason you, anonymous tumblr user sent this ask in the first place, to I, Swishy "Scrappy Doo Redemption Arc" Broke-on-books (dot tumblr dot com), which is his HIGHLY SUCESSFUL and utterly sadistic character assassination of my number one man, Scrappy Doo.
And I am going to try my damnedest here not to get totally into my highly passionate opinions over what James Gunn did to Scrappy in the first of his Scooby movies and how thoroughly it has pissed me the fuck off because I have been writing this post for over an hour now and if we start to really get into my feelings on this topic it will certainly be a couple of hours more but like. That Fucking Bitch. I give James Gunn personally a solid eighty-five percent of the blame for making my life as a Scrappy Doo fan UTTERLY unbearable with this stupid fucking movie alone, and just his Scrappy crimes would honestly be enough for me to say that I hate this movie, not even considering the numerous Scooby crimes I've been talking about here for the past million paragraphs, but the part about this movie that makes me the MOST mad the most pissed off is that it's actually a good fucking movie. James Gunn wrote two hilarious and entertaining movies that have become beloved in the popular culture for their successes in that arena, while at the same time pissing all over the core themes and messages of the franchise of which it was based, that of friendship.
TLDR; The Live Action Scooby Doo movies (written by James Gunn) are highly entertaining and fun pieces of media to watch, and are widely loved by the general public and looked at with fondness and nostalgia because of that. However, as a hardcore Scooby Doo fan (writing that phrase sounds so ridiculous but oh well) the existence of these movies and their impact on the popular culture can be extremely frustrating (despite any personal nostalgia said fan may have) due to their spreading of a misinformed picture of what "typical Scooby Doo" looks like. This picture is especially frustrating due to the fabrication or exaggeration of problems present in classic Scooby (such as sexism in regards to the girls), as well as giving more ammunition to other problems in Scooby fandom (such as oversexualization, and sexualization in general, which no one wants to see in regards to their children's cartoons, like HONESTLY.) Discussions of sexism and sexualization in Scooby (both of which ARE present and are issues, although not at their worst in WAY) can often lead to an overlooking of the issues that are very present and clear in WAY and have continued since then with far too little resistance (I'm 100% talking about the racism here) HOWEVER that topic deserves at least a dozen posts of its own that I am no way informed or qualified enough to even begin to think about writing. The Gunn Movies are frustrating to many longtime Scooby fans because of these reasons, but for me, and fellow Scrappy Doo fans there is also the added aspect of the demonization of Scrappy Doo in the live action movies and the affects that has had on the popular culture as well, making it uniquely inhospitable to like or enjoy the character of Scrappy. End post.
#that last sentence is such a weird tone jump btw but its because the topic flowed one way and i had to jump it back to a summary to actually#finish this monster of a post#SO anon i hope you're happy with this and this makes my opinion make some more sense. and you or anyone else is more than welcome to ask me#questions about anything i said here or my opinion on any and everything scooby related (and not) so if theres a specific aspect of this yo#would like expanded on i can definitely 100% do that for you or anyone who cares#also there are many complexities towards my feelings on these movies that i didnt get to hit on despite the monstrous size of this rant (il#check word count later but im not gonna fuck with it now because im terrified of deleting this post by accident) one of which is my lasting#fondness towards all of the actors in this movie. YES including freddie prinze jr. i may have major issues with his fred but hes also playe#characters i really really like. for example hes the va in this tv show i LOVE and havent watched in like 10 months despite the fact im on#the last season because freddie's character dies in like 7 episodes and i am NOT AT ALL emotionally prepared for that on any level because#that is my fictional father goddamnit!!!!!#also every buffy the vampire slayer gifset that crosses my dash gets me closer and closer to watching it because oh my god daphne!!!!! that#sarah michelle gellar thats daphne oh my god!!!! also i went and saw guardians of the galaxy 3 with my friend (despite not having seen a#marvel movie in 2+ years AND holding a grudge over james gunn's scooby doo crimes)[the things you do for {platonic} love amirite?]#and the title sequence SAID linda cardellini was in it and i got SO excited i was looking everywhere for her it was like wheres waldo in th#discount movie theatre FOR REAL and i just could NOT for the life of me find her (turns out she was VAing the ferret) so in a way linda mad#me cry with that role. whatever. istg i get so off topic i forget what i was even talking about but ANYWAYS <<<1 of my fave english words b#dubs (my favorite spanish word is el amanacer btw. it means sunrise. also burbujas because its bubbles and saying it sounds like bubbles#popping) BUT. AS I WAS SAYING. SEND ME ASKS IF YOU WANT SCOOBY DOO OPINIONS. DEAR GOD I GET SCATTERBRAINED SOMETIMES.#scooby doo#answered#anonymous#blah
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I imagine to an immortal being a year might easily slip past them, I mean they've got an eternity for anything they might need to do or fix. Which is to say... A new year approaches.
#Dethkuloz#Firmis#Extant Universe#myart#clip studio paint#oc tag#entity oc#Dec 2023#Happy New Year#Probably the last drawing to be posted not counting sketches I may post later#it isn't the last 2023 drawing tho because I have like 3 I need to post soon#This is a little different from my previous new years art#Well I didn't really have a theme and I needed to keep it simple so why not Dethy and Firmis#although I haven't properly explained what their relationship is to each other they've definitely got an interesting friendship going on#Is there something more to it? Do they have a history? Maybe I'll talk about that in.....2024!!
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hi choco! i'm so excited to see you back on my tl; i've missed you and your god-tier fics & i'm super duper excited to read your wonwoo fic as well (140k words? we will all be well fed fr 🤲)
i had a little rant? not exactly rant but something that's been itching my mind a bit haha, i hope you don't mind me sharing it with you! i genuinely want some advice over this.
as a long fic writer, how do you consistently come back to writing your fic without getting bored? i looooove writing long fics too (big lover of slowburn and angst lol) but i always get so impatient and bored of writing the story so quickly :(
i'd posted a teaser for a fic a while back and it got a good amount of traction (something i will always be grateful for) and someone asked me when i would release the full fic, to which i gave them a tentative date. fast forward to the day before the day i said i would post the fic and you have me typing out paragraphs upon paragraphs of stuff that i absolutely loathe in my writing. i ended up posting the fic anyway, but it's been only a day and i already want to take it down—not bc it's not getting any attention, because it is, but more so bc i hate that fic and would do anything to rewrite it.
iirc your joshua fic, 'best friend's brother' was a rewrite of a fic you'd written earlier, right? was your thought process similar to this? where did you start your rewriting process from? did you have any second thoughts when you took it down the first time?
i'm really sorry if this is too many questions 😅 please take your time if you do choose to answer this! much love and have a great day, choco!!! thank you so much :)
(is it alright if i use an emoji to sign off so i can find this ask later?)
— 🍫
first of all, THANK U SO MUCH <3
and i don't mind at all! these are rly insightful questions :o though i'll just chunk my answers a bit so i'm not all over the place.
not getting bored to be honest, i'm not sure if i ever "get bored" of writing out the plot. but i definitely get burnt out, and sometimes i get downright sick of reviewing my own writing, to the point where i just have to close my laptop and walk away. i think the most important & overarching piece of advice i can give--not just in terms of long fics but any fic for that matter--is to never force anything & take breaks!
when i'm busy at uni, there are like 5 month breaks where i don't bother writing at all. i always think that the second i have free time, i should theoretically want to write, but sometimes i just don't. and i make peace with it bc i know the second i force anything i will end up hating it (also takes the fun & enjoyment out of the process).
i think if you're getting bored, it's probably a sign that your body & mind just isn't interested in writing at the moment. so i would step away & take a break and attempt to get your mind off the plot. i think that taking a break also invigorates your mind a bit and gives you newer, better ideas (at least from my experience).
bfb rewrite the reason i rewrote best friend's brother was bc the og fic was from 2016, when my writing style was completely different. i still liked the concept but naturally, as my writing grew, i just detested the way the old ver was written, which spurred me to create the rewrite.
i wanted to give the characters a lot more depth & beef up the plot, so the new fic is actually a lot different in comparison to the old one. i wasn't attempting to do a scene-for-scene rewrite--it was simply just my approach to an old concept that i felt i could now execute better.
as to how i went abt rewriting it, i just picked out moments from the old fic that i liked and built around them. for instance, i rly liked the "skipping stones" scene that shows some intimacy & tenderness between joshua and reader. but it can't just happen out the gate. so i had to figure out the typical "why, when, and how is this moment happening right now?" from scratch.
the thing with long fics for me, it honestly is a test of patience & dedication!! bc it can truly be so frustrating :( a lot of times, you want to jump right into the good parts bc those are like the shiny glimmers that make the fic attractive. but depending on how impactful you want those moments to be, build-up is sooooo key! the thing is, build-up is just so critical in my opinion, but it can also be such a pain to write :p
i find when i review my writing, these are scenes i criticize or change the most--more than the big, hard-hitting scenes. bc to me, it's such a specific thing that you have to nail down justttt right. it's a lot of thinking and finagling and i think this process is what i dread the most? especially when it refuses to turn out how you want it--ugh, so discouraging!! but once you get it's like a silky flowy river!!
the big takeaways (i guess?) 1. taking breaks is so important! 2. don't force anything xxxx 3. take the big moments & build around them i totallyyyyy understand your frustration!! there have been so many moments where i'm like I NEED TO WRITE AHHHHH and then i promptly open the document only to sit there, blankly read a few sentences, and then get this rly big sinking feeling in my gut that is essentially telling me "never mind" and honestly i just listen to it bc if i'm gonna close & open the document 10 times in a row i obviously don't want to write. i'm just searching for something fulfilling and clearly not finding it in the task at hand so i should do smth else.
THIS IS EXTREMELY LENGTHY AND I''M BEYOND SORRY, but i hope somewhere amongst this mumbo jumbo there was something that stood out & may give you a bit of closure!
#i thought i could answer this in like 10 minuutes#it's been half an hour 😭#i rly had my thinking cap on for this#n: 🍫#x: moonbeam#t: choco's letters#OMG SOMETHING else i thought of when i reread your ask#if you do struggle to write consistently or have trouble seeing fics through to completion (i'm exactly like this unfortunately)#then i would suggest not providing release dates ?#i think this definitely adds pressure and strips away the fun of writing#i understand that it's like the readers have an almost tangible idea of when to expect new work#so that might keep them more engaged#but if it's proving to be detrimental to your writing process then perhaps it's not worth it to give the writing a date#also like... life very much so happens whether we want it to or not and can easily get in the way#and i'm sure your readers will understand!!#like when i wrote bfb 2.0 i posted the preview in may#THEN DIDN'T POST THE ACTUAL FIC UNTIL ALMOST A YEAR LATER I FELT SO AWFUL ABT IT#so i was likeeee okayyyy that's the last time i post a teaser without actually having the damn thing written#bc like... what if i never even finished it lmao
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my new boss is apparently a hugger, bought me my favorite tea, and just spent a half hour in here actually talking to me. i’m so used to the aloofness of my old boss that all this socialisation is almost overwhelming.
#top this off with one of my coworkers signing off an email with 'love you!' this morning and i'm a Mess#i'm too introverted for thisssss#the old boss thought i never spoke; this one is learning that if you get me on the right topic i never shut up#we spent a sold 10 minutes just discussing the teaching methodology between our boys' versus girls' programme#and then the rest of the time we're sitting there rambling about our adventures and how each city has a different scent#i actually really /like/ him and i feel like there's a chance i may actually get to /do more/ with him as a supervisor#i do so little at this job; there's a reason i'm always fucking around on tumblr#he definitely wants me to take on more duties and i am so down for it; we just have to get some more ducks in a row#this post is pointless i just needed to get the excess energy out of my system#hello friends!#shut up ace#delete later#<- not that we ever doooo
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tag rant 👍
#sorry i refuse to embarrass myself by making a post but i have nobody else to talk to about this#experiencing the biggest reach of my life but i need to share it but i don’t have anyone to share it with so. you guys#but anyway i find it interesting how alice is given that same lighting will is given in the van#or just the ones that make him ‘the light’ y’know? alice gets that lighting after she sees the dead rabbit but much more intense#and im working on the It parallel stuff right#like It is definitely representing both henry and the mf as a combined force and that’s a whole other thing#and It only has one natural enemy: maturin. maturin is Its brother#iirc maturin is heavily associated with bright lights#maturin also has the ability to create new galaxies/dimensions#so what if alice was the one who created the UD somehow#It’s ability is many things but the most important one is being the Eater of Worlds#hence maturin being Its natural enemy because It can never achieve its goal as long as maturin creates more worlds#henry wants to ‘fix’ the world and alice introduced a new world that could be tampered with and later need ‘fixing’#which makes it funny that henry is the one who fucked it up in the first place#or it could be a demonstration of how henry’s idea of a perfect world destroys it whereas alice will keep introducing more worlds that#would’ve been fine without the tampering of human nature#which could also play into the multiple UDs theory#but also that makes the connection to will even more interesting if we consider will’s powers to be the merging of worlds#if he can bring them together he may very well be able to push them apart#which would make him another enemy of henry by making these worlds untouchable#‘but how would both the kids have powers’ well considering virginia’s ties to brenner and some of the filming choices made i think it isn’t#too far out to say she might have powers which is how her children got them#she made brenner fix her and tried to make him fix henry too but alice’s abilities would have been unnoticeable bc they work outside of the#RU#and if alice is a character who ends up returning she could be the one to teach will how to use his powers#cause who else would be able to know how to do that#this is very out there however i needed to get it out of my head#it parallels
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