#there’s something deeply cathartic about it

[thebluestbluewords]

I’ve been out of college for a while now, but the extremely isolating first semester feelings are still topical, right???

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

i feel like i should start making more of an effort, when i talk about something in a piece of media being Upsetting to me, to distinguish between 'cathartic' upsetting and 'gave me psychic damage' upsetting. sometimes i mean OUGH OW MY FEELINGS THIS FUCKS ME UP IN A MEANINGFUL AND RESONANT WAY, MY LIFE IS ENRICHED FOR BECOMING AWARE OF IT and sometimes i mean that it is genuinely distressing and i want to shake the creators and ask what the fuck they were thinking

[skibasyndrome]

So one thing I've always loved about uni/studying/learning new things is when you have different subjects or different tiny dots of knowledge and slowly, as you learn more and more, those tiny splashes of knowledge are becoming less isolated, and you realize that it's all connected and - at least with my subjects being in the humanities - you sort of “unlock” this new perspective on a certain aspect of the human condition. And like, that's fun enough and - if I'm being honest - probably my favorite thing about studying already as it is, BUT NOW, now that I've finally gotten back into writing as a hobby this is just ANOTHER dimension for me to expand that knowledge into and to use that knowledge for. And I am absolutely living for it. So happy to be back on my bullshit and so happy to be at a place in my life where these two passions of mine fit so seamlessly together and one passion benefits from the other and vice versa

[thespoonisvictory]

the incredible sinking lorelais is one of the best episodes of tv ever written

[rabbitt1]

patron saint of sadness

[meanderfall]

thinking of causing psychic damage to everyone who follows me by reblogging call of duty posts

[gallusrostromegalus]

I love it when characters are immune to psychic attacks/emotional manipulation magic/psychoactive drugs or whatever, but for DEEPLY mentally ill reasons.

Fear gas? I already have an anxiety disorder. Also you don't know the meaning of fear until you have a category 5 autism event in the middle of a social scene and know you'll get severely punished if you act out

Depression aura? Bitch I live an economically productive, nutritionally balanced and physically active life that other people rely on like this.

Haunted? How would my ADHD ass even know?

Pain machine? Hm. If your machine's "10/10" is my "4", I should probably talk to my doctor about better meds.

Oh, we're all mutually unintelligible? This is Tuesday with Autism and Audio Processing issues.

There's something very cathartic about a character facing down the horrors and laughing because the antagonist can't even get close to what they already live with.

[dizzythegreat]

HI FRIENDS!!! if you've noticed, i've been posting more about harry potter recently because i've been rereading the books and sort of getting into the fandom. i know that it can be a triggering topic for a lot of people, so i'll be tagging any related posts with #harry potter or #hp. i don't know if anyone is disappointed/upset with me, but if you are, absolutely feel free to send me an ask or a dm about it. if it helps, absolutely 0 dollars are going to jkr from me. i pirate all the movies, i already own all the books, and i dont care about merch or games lol. also, it almost goes without saying, but FUCK JKR and her bullshit transphobic views. i do not support anything about her and her opinions. i just like her wizard books :)

love you guys!

[emmafrostyyy]

y'all sleeping on Astarion/Lae'zel bc this moment is so...the way the flippant demeanor drops and he doesn't hesitate to call her out for sticking with her version of Cazador like their relationship is so underrated fr...

sitting down writing this bullshit like let me peel it like an onion a bit and elaborate why this pairing is fascinating to me

It's really interesting how during the most cathartic, life-altering moment in Astarion's questline, the reactions of the other companions are more about the moral wrongness/guilt of sacrificing innocent lives. Lae'zel doesn't do that and instead relates to his hurt.

She knows what's he's feeling, the lack of control, the unfairness of being powerless for too long. This is a woman who just found out her entire life purpose was built on lies, discarded and hunted by her own people after outliving her usefulness, and groomed to basically die for an insane power-hungry lich queen. She knows all too well that power isn't always real freedom. Her first instinct is to empathize with Astarion to steer him away from his hate and resentment.

Astarion/Lae'zel is so interesting to me because they're such a classic "can we make each other worse or make a better person out of the other?".

They both have genuine appreciation for violence and respect each other's ruthlessness. Astarion was used as a weapon of seduction while Lae'zel was of warfare. Sex with people is meaningless and not real intimacy for them, and while both have little understanding/experience of interpersonal relationships beyond the physical, they still feel and love very deeply. They have no frame of reference for things like friendship and warmth, but they badly want all of that and more, even if they don't know it yet.

In-game they can sleep with each other, which is basically the foundation of the normal Tav/Astarion romance. Lae'zel saw him during combat and got horny, who knows. Astarion who's used to luring people with his charms, takes up Lae'zel's blunt offer because she's a strong hardened warrior that can provide protection and be a worthy ally, and he doesn't know how to say no. Navigating the complications between one who wants to be seen beyond as a sex object, and one who comes from a totally alien culture with no concept of love/family/connections and only sex is honestly really compelling to me. It's a transactional, mutually beneficial thing with no emotional expectations. Once you get past the skeevy rockiness of their early relationship, I really like the idea of them slowly seeing something past the exterior and realizing they may have harshly misjudged the other, an unspoken friendship blooms, and in comes the realization that they are essentially loners longing for kindness and a comforting touch in the most desperate of situations.

Lae'zel is prideful, direct, has no sense of courtship talk, and doesn't hold back her thoughts the slightest--she's not sweet/agreeable and what you see is really what you get, which I imagine would be disarming for Astarion who's used to vacuous flattery and has difficulty trusting others. But she's also insanely protective, passionate, loyal, and an initiator-- every romance scene is triggered by her first and she's always showing effort towards her relationships, which would mesh well with Astarion who does need someone to nudge him.

She doesn't purposely suppress her feelings, she's just simply at loss at how to express them sometimes due to her wildly different upbringing. She stops the sparring match you agree to and an easy vulnerability slips instantly out of her: "I don't want to hurt you. I want to protect you, and for you to protect me." and "Thus far I've taunted you, devoured you, battled you. Now I want more than anything to soothe you." are romantic as fuck and Astarion of all people really needs to hear that tbh.

Astarion is also someone who struggles with reinforcing his boundaries, and a key theme in Lae'zel's romance is that she encourages and wants you to challenge her and learn to stand your ground. It's not gentlest method, but hey, relationships are about having to make an effort to learn each other's language.

I think he also would take pleasure "educating her on the matters of Fay-run" (I believe there's a whole banter with him teasing her and teaching her pet names) and would get a kick out of coaxing Lae'zel out of her shell with her shyness at showing public affection, and making her blush. Also it simply would be fucking funny to see Astarion who's used to easy seduction, trying to pass a persuasion check just to get a smooch and generally having to work to earn regular kisses from Lae'zel lmfaooo

Lae'zel also initially struggles to see her chains as chains. When she learns about Vlaakith's betrayal, she copes instantly through denial and shuts it down. Astarion is NOT having it and calls her out, he knows her well enough to recognize that she would value blunt honesty above all.

I imagine he also despises her lack of self-preservation, the way her entire identity is tied to duty and being in service of others, and doesn't understand her desire to still help/liberate the people that want her dead and are hunting her down. He wants to make this duty-bound soldier realize that looking out for herself, and putting herself first may not be the worst thing in the world.

They're so similar to each other but are also polar opposites in some ways that make a more equal, balanced romance I think. It's not a simple, one-sided, feel-good "she/he can fix her/him" fantasy because both of them have to earn each other's love, actually cut through the other's flaws, and actively motivate each other to be better versions of themselves.

They're not at all the other's ideal guiding hand. It's rough, jagged, and imperfect, but that's how healing goes. It's so far from being the healthiest relationship -- but even if their belief systems differ, their moral compass does often align. I imagine it's a slight relief for them to have a partner where there would be less shame and judgment when they expectedly, occasionally slip up and fall into their bad habits.

Also, man, the "You showed me the betweens and beyonds. Beyond war and peace, beyond passion and obsession, most importantly, you showed me freedom.", "First you were my wound, now you were my cure.", "But you saw something else in me - someone else I could be. Someone who could break the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago.." lines really hit hard when applied to them.

Of course, they can also make each other worse, feed into the other's negative traits that will bring out the worst part of themselves. It's this duality of their pairing that is very interesting to explore, the way it can steer in either direction because it's an intense, fraught relationship at its core.

[starsinmylatte]

Count this as me screaming into the void but

Something so profoundly cathartic about fictional universes like JJK is that they deal with the whole “child soldier” trope by having some characters who stand up for the children and their rights to be children.

Nanami Kento knew so deeply what it was like to have his entire childhood/young adulthood taken away from him, and he made it his mission to protect the “normal” people of society and the children who would one day fill his shoes, and that's just so close to my heart it's scary.

“Being a child is not a sin.”

[writingwithcolor]

Author with cultural disconnect: How do I write without making it seem as if I hate my own heritage?

Anonymous asked:

I’m a white-passing Asian author, and I’ve never felt all that connected with my heritage. My current story centers on a fairy (re: fantasy-world POC) child and ends with her realizing that her parents are toxic af and her human best friend’s family takes her in. This is the perfect opportunity to sort through my own issues with my heritage and finally convince my monkey-brain that it’s okay to not know how to cook Vietnamese food or celebrate tet or speak Vietnamese… But I also realize that if I’m not careful, this could easily slip into “Hey, I hate my heritage and so should you!” So how can I stop that from happening?

Writing for yourself first, not an audience

I ask you a simple question: why put pressure on yourself to have any sort of non-offensive messaging for a story that hasn’t been drafted yet and is to convince your monkey brain it’s okay to exist as yourself?

That seems like the fastest way to stop the story from being actually cathartic and instead a performance art piece when you already feel hung up on performing as “properly” part of your culture.

As I said in Working Through Identity Issues and Other Pitfalls of Representation, not all stories you write need to be for public consumption. Especially stories you’re using for your own self-processing and therapy, because you’re trying to get a cathartic moment that is rewriting your own story.

At what point does the public need to be involved in that?

I do understand the compulsion to want to post—I have definitely posted some Questionable™ material in my drive to get validation for feeling the way I do, wanting people to witness me and say “same.” It’s a powerful urge. Sometimes it’s worked, but most of the time it’s just made me feel horrifically exposed.

But you really do not have to post in public to get any sort of validation. Set up a groupchat with friends if you want the cheerleading and witnessing—people who will know your story and give you good-faith interpretations and won’t accuse you of anything. Honestly I’d suggest setting up this groupchat anyway; as someone who just got one again after quite a few years without it, my productivity has skyrocketed from being around supportive people.

Let the monkey brain have its monkey brain moment and shut off the concept the story is for the public. Shut off the concept of performing for an unknown audience. It’s for you. Be authentic, no matter how bad it would look to outsiders. They’re not reading it. Part of getting catharsis, sometimes, is being the worst version of yourself, somewhere nobody else can see it.

Deciding to publish the work

If, after you do write it, you find that you actually do want to polish it up and put it somewhere… edit it. Rewrite it entirely if that’s what it takes. Take the story through the same drafting process every story needs to go through, ripping out the unfortunate implications as you go.

Editing can be its own form of healing, as you try to figure out what this character would need to not be hateful. As you realize, once this longform journal entry is out of your head, what was bothering you now that you can see it pinned down on a page. But you absolutely do not need to write with the intention of editing in that healing. When I’ve tried, it’s fallen flat.

The healing will come from being yourself, no public involved, and writing about your feelings in their rawest form. Anything else is extra.

There’s no point in trying to put guard rails on the drafting process, not for a deeply personal piece. And by the time that drafting process is done, you’ll likely have specific scenarios and contexts that you can ask about, and you might even have ideas on how to fix it yourself once the story has a shape to it.

This is 100% a situation where there’s no real sense in idea workshopping something in the plotting stage. You’re doing something for you. Decide if it’s for public consumption later (while acknowledging “no” is a perfectly valid answer), and only figure out how to make the story not overtly harmful if you decide to put it out into the public.

~ Leigh

[vechter]

ao3 for dick grayson fics is such a trying experience, truly bc what do you mean there's not one, not two but an overwhelming abundance of fics where dick is a bad sibling and jason todd is the ideal, supportive, drops-everything-for-your-crisis sibling?

like i can understand the appeal of exploring the lesser of dick's choices and character traits and how those impact his relationships with the rest of the bats but you mean to tell me that any of them- damian, tim, cass- tim, especially- would willingly go to jason for help when they have the option of asking dick?

as much as red robin is a deeply rich, complex story about grief and morality, i'm afraid it did irreparable damage to dick's character, not to mention tim's (that boy does not have an egregiously high body count, comics would never gloss over that kind of mass death or be implicit about it in any way if that had actually happened)

dick's primary character thesis is being a safety net for people who fall- the way bruce and batman were for him after his parents died. it's one of his chief driving forces. there is no world where he doesn't help out a stranger, let alone his siblings if they come to him for help. and despite all of the bats being notoriously bad at asking for help and support, the number of instances where dick is an empathetic listener, doling out advice and emotional support and compassion (even when people are tight-lipped about needing any of those things) far outweighs the times he has been short-sighted or intentionally harsh. no character is perfect but to see how often jason is written favourably whilst simultaneously dragging dick is maddening fr

like, fine you like jason a lot. it can be fun and cathartic to write about him choosing to develop relationships outside of his grief/trauma/revenge with bruce (although i think that the most compelling thing about jason is how much of his character post-resurrection is driven by existing as a dead boy walking so to see him actually care about living and making healthy choices would probably require something beyond therapy with harley quinn lmao) but is it really necessary to do that while putting dick down? both tim and damian have seen dick while he is decidedly not at his best (reeling from the circus burning down in nw '96, grieving bruce, finding his footing as batman) and have come out the other side firm in their belief in him. cass, unfortunately is more removed from dick's immediate circle but that's a whole other tangent about how peripheral dick is to both of the batgirls that come after babs. steph, by virtue of having a parent who is alive, is lucky enough to be removed from more of the complicated dynamics all of them have with each other. and while dick is an ass in her initial batgirl days, he does warm up to her (but that again is a whole other post considering the legitimacy and nuances of characterizations in batgirl- tim never gets the same flak for his treatment of steph despite being much, much closer to her and actually knowing her beyond the second robin to die- and even then, when dick finds out about steph's death, the gist of initial reaction is to blame bruce, perhaps, rightfully so)

like you're falling for his act!!! as readers of a form of media like comics, we are lucky enough to get a glimpse into dick's inner neuroses and thought-processes while simultaneously seeing how he acts on them. ofc we see him make mistakes but a lot of the other characters don't!! and if/when they do, they don't see beyond the performance he delivers. even barring the fucked-up-ness of a high stakes job like vigilantism where trauma and death and adrenaline are linked together messily, no relationship between two people is perfect. people hurt each other, people lash out!! but the most compelling thing about dick is how often he reaches out, how often he swings back even after he has swung away!! that's what makes him such a source of light, hope and positivity for everybody he encounters

and this is not even touching n52 which seems like the most hasty kind of decision making and writing from editorial with no consideration for a lot of the characters' histories, lore and their core characterizations

[sheiireen]

Izuku and his emotions

I keep seing posts about how Izuku's reactions are disappointing to some readers, because he does not cry or react deeply in specific scenarios - but it's more complex than you think.

First of all, let me remind you that Izuku is an unreliable narrator.

He lies when blackwhip was triggered for the first time:

2. During Katsuki's apology, he asks Izuku if he remembers what he said before he was attacked by Shigaraki, and he says no.

Really? The boy who 'frets over every small detail', who remembers details about quirks and character traits of all the people he meets? He would not forget such an important moment. He purposely avoids to answer.

Izuku is stubborn. He tries to convince himself that he is fine all the time. We have seen this throughout the whole story.

Then - that one time in ch425 when he does try to reach out to his friends, he is rejected. We see how sad he is but we don't get a glimpse into his mind. You can clearly see the implications of how frustrated and sad he is, even if he does not voice his emotions.

He saw Katsuki's dead body. There is no way he would be over this (he must feel responsible and most likely blames himself because he was late...).

He won the fight against Shigaraki and we saw glimpses of his feelings about the fight at the hospital - how disappointed he must feel that he couldn't save Shigaraki. He wanted to be a hero who saves people. In ch 425 right after Fuwa says Aizawa showed them why they became heroes, we get this image:

He looks so pensive and absent-minded...after all, he lost his purpose and his powers.

All of this does not mean that we will not know how Izuku truly feels. He needs to get his emotions out, and he will. Just because we don't see Izuku's reactions right after something happens, doesn't mean that he is indifferent or doesn't care.

Katsuki will play a big part in this. Even though he has reached out to Izuku, Katsuki didn't get through to Izuku's inner self. Izuku didn't "take his hand", yet. This is why we will get a Katsuki and Izuku conversation aka DvK3. Katsuki will be the one who initiates it, because he knows Izuku best and he will reach out his hand to Izuku again, but this time, Izuku will take it.

We will get an intense, heartfelt conversation and it will be cathartic for Izuku.

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

thinking about alhaitham going from recently orphaned to meeting kaveh and kaveh becoming the one person who knows him through and through, who he recognises as his mirror, as integral to his development as a scholar, and as essential to his happiness as an individual. knowing that their respective approaches to life are direct oppositions, but that this isn't a negative and instead is beneficial to the both of them - aligning their viewpoints can help the other grow due to considering new speculations and perspectives.

and then being rejected by kaveh due to kaveh's rejection of himself - his conforming to the collective, when his talents and abilities offer potential for more than he denies himself. kaveh rejects alhaitham as his best friend, his mirror, and he seeks to cement his ideals in his life, to realise them in full as opposed to being solely based on the guilt borne from his perceived involvement in his father's passing. alhaitham doesn't pursue kaveh because this is kaveh's decision - he said that he regretted ever befriending alhaitham, and it would be futile to impose upon this

alhaitham goes from having an essential figure in his life, to a void twice, the first time being the loss of his grandmother, and then kaveh's rejection of him. but he pursues the peaceful life his grandmother wanted for him, and when he meets kaveh again, he instantly sees through the façade kaveh fronts for other people, and recognises that something is deeply wrong. when kaveh moves in with him, he is held in contempt and through a critical lens, and kaveh believes him to be prideful and spiteful, believing that his egoism has triumphed over kaveh's altruism.

kaveh continues to reject alhaitham through this, but alhaitham desires kaveh's company regardless because he knows that kaveh is essential to him - no one else can provide what kaveh fulfils, both in company and in mind. regardless of the strained rapport between them, alhaitham enjoys kaveh. he smiles when kaveh has a quick-witted comeback, he smiles while teasing kaveh, and he goes out of his way to have interactions with kaveh, regardless of the outcome.

alhaitham knows that he and kaveh can ultimately benefit each other if they can overcome this barricade - a perception of 'correctness' between them. firsthand, alhaitham knows that being thought of as 'correct' is ultimately meaningless if it means you forfeit something you truly care about. the issue that stands between him and kaveh is not correctness, it is the unspoken, the miscommunication and misconception that drives them apart. alhaitham truly wants the best for kaveh, but kaveh cannot see this due to his perception of alhaitham. but this perception is challenged when alhaitham reveals that he looked into sachin for kaveh's sake, for a chance of closure, during a parade of providence

so going from this uncertainty as to how kaveh will interpret alhaitham's actions in a parade of providence to how kaveh and alhaitham are in cyno's story quest is so so fulfilling. it's cathartic to see alhaitham comfortable in his interactions with kaveh, rather than having to be underhanded of his comments about kaveh's misconceptions. alhaitham can openly enjoy kaveh's company because kaveh genuinely wants to spend time with him. alhaitham encourages kaveh to tell him about his day because he knows he will not be misinterpreted. their banter is completely without any kind of tension as an understanding seems to have been gained between them. it must be so liberating to be truly seen once again by kaveh, and not have every word, every action, ever intention scrutinised. kaveh accepts him, fully, through and through, and because of this, kaveh sees alhaitham as a mirror - and finally accepts it.

they work in tandem, their thoughts seem synchronised, and there is no issue in the two joining efforts to research together once more. alhaitham is openly expressive about his contentment in working with kaveh, discussing the case in their shared living room, watching kaveh sketch the emblem, smiling as he unveils a discovery, and smiling as kaveh shows interest, travelling together to inform the traveller of their findings, heading to the house of daena together, and having kaveh understand his silent request for help without even having to voice it, being asked for and freely giving obtained akademiya information to kaveh, consenting and smiling when being paired together in looking after the house of daena and researching into the temple of silence. kaveh seeks to find coffee for the both of them when alhaitham mentions it which establishes a domesticity which extends outside of the home. when alhaitham excuses himself at the gathering, kaveh knows that it doesn't include him, and he actively suggests their next activities, before heading 'home' together. alhaitham understands kaveh's notion of home (talked about here), and alhaitham assents to this, and the two leave together

to finally have their status as equals be recognised by kaveh is a huge development, and alhaitham seems so much more content now that this understanding exists between them - that their care is reciprocal. to see kaveh at ease within himself, to be more embracing and forgiving towards himself, must be so fulfilling for alhaitham, who wants nothing but kaveh's happiness. in kaveh accepting alhaitham, these past concerns of guilt and forgiveness can finally be addressed. and alhaitham will be there every step of the way, as he has chosen to do, and he knows, now, that kaveh will continue to choose him too

[sitp-recs]

Part I: hymn to the sea

thank you @eleadore for creating this gorgeous art for @citrusses’ The Isle of Ogygia and for inspiring this rec list!

Sometimes all I want is the quiet. After a year of ups and downs feeling very introspective towards fandom, I found a lot of comfort in contemplative fics featuring the sea. They take me by the hand and get me immersed in a beautiful, mysterious setting in a way that I find deeply soothing, and even cathartic. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels instantly drawn to this theme, so I made a short rec list with some of my favorite titles. May September be kind and healing to us all. Enjoy!

🌊 On The Shore by @skeptiquewrites (T, 3k)

Draco takes up wild swimming. Harry joins him.

🌊 Saltwater Stain by @the-starryknight (M, 9k)

Seven days stuck on a boat investigating a rogue ghost wouldn't be so bad if Harry didn't want Draco so much.

🌊 The Isle of Ogygia by @citrusses (E, 13k)

There is an island, far out in the sea.

🌊 The Oceans They Did Rise by disapparater (M, 18k)

Finding post-war life more difficult than he'd imagined, Harry travels halfway around the world to find some peace.

🌊 if you've changed your mind, orphaned (E, 20k)

The first Draco knows of the whole thing is Harry Potter standing in his broom shed.

🌊 The Isle of Discussion by @shealwaysreads (E, 22k)

Harry and Draco arrive at the shores of Loch Leven to record the magical history of the land. They’re friends now, but up there in the Highlands, amidst the trees and sky and that wild expanse of water their own past is more present than ever; a gap they still can’t bridge.

🌊 Simulation Theory by @starquestingfordrarry (E, 35k)

An offer to test out a new invention for Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes turns into a whole lot more when Harry discovers who has the other part of the paired set.

🌊 What Shall Not Be Unearthed by @iero0 (E, 49k)

At the northernmost point of Shetland, surrounded by pointed cliffs, towers the Ootsta Lighthouse on a small isle in the middle of the open sea. Little does Harry know that he's not the only new lighthouse keeper.

🌊 Antediluvia by @lol-zeitgeistic (E, 56k)

Everyone always forgets about the Merpeople. So did Harry until the day his, Lee’s, and Hermione’s Portkeys land at Reagan National Airport’s Arrivals dais. He’s just had to leave a job he loves and pack his entire life—literally—into his luggage. Then Malfoy and his subplots arrive, and suddenly, saving the world again, one Mermaid at a time, sounds like the perfect excuse to do something he’s always wanted.

🌊 I Am Not Who I Became by mab_di (E, 93k)

Draco left England after the trials and has travelled the world meeting wizards and Muggles from different cultures and with vastly different relationships to magic, each other, and the natural world. Now he's a fisherman in Finland on commercial vessels. Harry has been struggling since the war and has become a recluse while trying to write his autobiography.

[wufflesvetinari]

ok fine, wyllstarion rec list

the demons bade me write this. i have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings and a fabulous bookmarks list. come with me....and you'll be.......in a world of pure wyllstarion nation

note that this is like. an intermediate/advanced, 201-level list. i am trusting you, and assume you've already read asidian's body of work. you've read nothing is safe. you're reading Nothing Like the Sun &etc. Really anything that appears on the first two pages when sorting by bookmarks/kudos is disqualified due to pre-recognized excellence. (you could, however, go read them again)

are you back? good. now read:

"We Happy Few" - @geometea. listen to me. listen. i am looking deeply into your eyes. read this fucking fic. it's hard to shill without spoiling anything, BUT: wyll is a still-pacted grand duke. he used to have a bunch of unresolved romantic tension with astarion and now hasn't spoken to him for 15 years. now take that premise and add body horror, beautiful ominous surreal images, and SURPRISE BIG EMOTIONS. just trust me on this one, guys

"Crossed Blades" - @rebelontherocks. this is a...i think i have to call this a cozy sex romp. wyll and astarion are married, wyll is a busy duke, astarion needs more enrichment, astarion invents a very silly sex game by roleplaying teenage-wyll's smut books. wyll is So Deeply Into It. i love this fic for its characterization, its banter, and its commitment to paralleling character psychology to what sounds like an absolutely wild in-universe smut series (that is sketched with an impressive amount of detail and care tbh??).

"Comfort" - @acephalouscreature. short and sweet. wyll is injured and everyone expects astarion to take care of him. luckily, astarion has a dastardly plan to fake feelings for wyll by thinking about his feelings for wyll. you sure fooled them, astarion!! also featuring: astarion trying to figure out how to comfort someone by thinking about horses

"False Compare" - @jellyfishline. i'd recommend checking out their work generally, but i fell in love with this one first. wyll writes a sonnet! astarion is mean about it until he isn't! deeply in-character with an emphasis on how each of them communicates affection. gorgeous prose

"how to escape the torment nexus" - @ushauz. this series is incredibly unique, set in a fucked-up bad end where wyll is a lemure, astarion is still on the run from cazador, and almost everyone else is dead. where this really shines imo is wyll's POV: he's been through literal hell, doesn't remember his life, and is wading through his unconscious attachment to astarion like a foreign language. (side note also read Heart of Stone for a great lae'zel character piece)

"An Acorn in the Moonlight" - @anonyhex. this is one of the first wyllstarion fics i ever read and it has a special place in my heart!! it's particularly cathartic to read for Wyll reasons, including him actually getting to Have Emotions about what Ulder put him through. and they are so sweet with each other!!

"temporal displacement" - @purplecatghostposts. ok this came out like. yesterday but listen, i LOVE outsider pov of an astarion who's learned to show affection somewhat, seen from the eyes of someone who doesn't know his history and has no reason to suspect All Of That. and when that "outsider" is a dying 20-year-old wyll who just saw astarion step out of a time portal. well.

"nothing to make a song about" - @grey-wardens. for when you want something meaty and casefic-adjacent, set in a post-canon where wyll is the blade and not the duke (for once). contains bonding on the road, getting romantically snowed in together, and Symbolic Fetch-Quests.

i am also watching closely: "One of Those Prince-Types" by @lesbianralzarek and "sigh no more" by @tomorrowsrain. both are one chapter in and promise to be meaty, with execution that already feels very very promising

SPECIAL MENTION TO "Like Death (or Birth)" by The_Dancing_Walrus, which has some fraught implied background wyllstarion and is just generally completely baller. astarion kind-of sort-of accidentally adopts yenna, who got fucked up by her time as a potential sacrifice to bhaal. it works! i promise it works