#there’s so much dialogue in my head jesus christ

[manhandlememando]

me rn because i have four major wips in the process, only having slept 9 hours in the last 52 and the voices won’t stfu:

(in all realness i will be updating both gravity and the alcott soon, and i am working on what is currently over 10k words of a ser erryk cargyll x reader fic) (will also be working on jacaerys velaryon x reader, and cregan stark x reader fics)

im actually going insane, there isn’t enough space in my head for this shit.

[taintedcigs]

˚ · • . ° . 𝐑𝐄𝐃, 𝐒𝐎𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐄𝐓.

summary: you and your boyfriend eddie decide to have some fun in the living room, what you fail to notice is that your boyfriends roommate steve is also awake. and he can’t help himself.

warnings: smut smut smut, minors DNI, p in v, creampie, unprotected (wrap it up irl im so serious), kinda pervy!steve, msturbation, degrading, praises, kind of a choking kink if u squint, VERY LIGHT dom/sub dynamics (like very very light), dom!eddie, sub!reader.

pairings: boyfriend!eddie munson x reader x roommate!steve harrington

author’s note: i just love steddie. if you see me repost this a few times no u didn't. not proof-read. ignore mistakes!!

Steve wasn't a morning person.

So it was no surprise when he tossed in the bed, groaning and whining at the noise coming outside of his room.

His pillow was smushed against his ears, attempting to cancel out the noise.

“F—fuck, s—shit, angel, take it, mmpf.” He barely had one eye open, and couldn't make up most of the dialogue, so he tried to make sense of the noise coming from the living room. 

He removed the pillow from his ear, face scrunched in annoyance as he listened in.

Grunts, whines, and the slapping of skin mixed together, with Steve’s hazed state, he could barely make sense of it. But once he heard your pretty whines his eyes shot open. 

Holy fucking shit. The two of you weren’t doing what he thought you were… Were you?

He sat up quickly, hand rubbing his eyes before he carefully situated himself on the bed to look through the gap where his door had opened slightly. 

“Fuuuuck, just like that, princess, take my cock, mhmm.” Another grunt from Eddie, his skin slapping into yours, head thrown back, his hold on your waist bruisingly rough. Or at least that’s what Steve imagined, hearing Eddie’s raspy voice mixed with your silenced grunts was enough to fuel his morning wood harder than imaginable. 

He was aching already, his cock painfully caged in his boxers, he shouldn’t, he shouldn’t take a peek. He should just attempt to go to sleep again, he should give the two of you privacy. 

But, fuck, was it tempting. 

This is all he ever wanted, he knew how perverted that sounded, but this was his chance. 

The walls in the apartment were thin, so fucking thin that he would hear your mewls every night, and Eddie’s dirty talk. He would never admit to how many times he got off to the sound of the two of you going at it. It was embarrassing, outright disgusting, and he felt ashamed. 

A crimson red and disgust colored his cheeks the second he came all over his hand, sticky, always so much that it spurted all over his chest. But, god, did it feel so fucking good. 

He didn’t know what it was that drew him in this much, Eddie’s dominance, your pathetic whines, him degrading you while you begged for more, it was all of it. And he was begging to get a glimpse of it, a little taste.

“Yeah, baby, you like that don’t you?” More sounds coming from the two of you, Eddie’s cocky tone enough to have Steve feel himself against his boxers. 

He was hard, so achingly hard that he hissed, and his other hand immediately clamped down on his mouth to shut himself up, the skin slapping and the cursing didn’t falter a bit. 

He could totally get away with this. 

And he was about to burst in his pants, a little peek, wouldn’t hurt, would it? Jesus Christ, he knew it was wrong, but this was the perfect opportunity, he finally could see your fucked out face, Eddie’s cocky grins, he needed this. He deserved this.

Steve shifted quietly in his bed, concealing himself but still getting a good look at the two of you, his cock was needy, weeping, and he needed to give it attention soon. Just the look in your eyes, the way Eddie was all the way into you made him bite his lip to conceal the groans that slipped past his parted lips. 

“Ssshh, baby, I know, I know, but you gotta quiet down a little, yea?” Eddie cooed against your face, biting and nibbling a trail from your chin to your neck, a grin sitting on his lips. 

Fuck, Steve wished he could do that, have you sprawled on him on the couch, bare pussy on sight while he fucked himself into you, legs wrapped around him, while he left marks on your neck, truly owning you, like Eddie did.

Eddie squished your cheeks to quiet you down, his cock still hitting spots inside of your walls that you didn’t know existed, and you were quick to pout. “You don’t want our little roommate to wake up and see you like this, do you?”

Steve’s ears perked at that, bubblegum pink all over his cheeks, but it only encouraged him more and more, his cock engorged with blood and the need to fuck his hands was all he could think about. 

The two of you were talking about him, and he was more than intrigued. Slowly but surely, Steve pushed his boxers down his thighs, hissing quietly when his heavy erection bobbed out, plopping against his v-line, tip hot and angry, waiting to be attended. 

Eddie had you split in half, or at least that’s what it looked like to Steve, “Whinin’ like a bitch in heat, soakin’ my cock and still beggin’ for more.” Eddie grunted, Steve watched in awe, how hungrily you looked at Eddie, those doe-eyes looking so innocent yet you were anything but. Eddie was sliding in and out of your walls, harsh, quick, and making sure you could feel him fully. 

Steve bit his lip to hide the groan that dared the slip past his mouth, cock hot and pulsating in his hands, he spat on it with a shuddered breath, wishing that instead of his hands he could push his veiny cock into every single one of your holes. Drawing out those pleas and whines from you like Eddie did. 

Eddie’s cocky, domineering words also got him going, he didn’t know what was taking over him; he needed you under him, whining and begging for him, but he also wanted Eddie to dominate him as well, a fucked up dynamic that he would die to be a part of. You, submitting to both of them, while Eddie dominated both of you. And Steve in the middle, it would be perfect. 

Eddie’s hands were bruisingly all over you, cock pounding into you with such force that Steve watched open-mouthed, wishing he could get a taste of you, wishing he could feel the way your tight cunt took him in.

“Oh, shit, you’d like that, baby wouldn’t you? Such a little slut, you’d want Harrington to see you all pathetic like this?” Eddie grinned, mocking you further and further, causing you to mewl at him pathetically.

Steve smeared his spit all over his cock, using it as a lubricant while he desperately wrapped his palm around it, ungodly sounds escaping his lips, not able to help himself when the two of you started talking about him.

His sickly desires coming to life in the best fucking way possible.

“You’d want Steve to see you bein’ my personal cocksleeve?” Heat rushed to your cheeks quickly, face feeling hot both from desire and how filthy Eddie was being, and he knew you loved it. 

You shook your head shyly, gaze still on him with a pout. “Nuh—uh, don’t lie, baby, I know you like an audience.” Steve tugged at his cock feverishly, knuckles turning white with how much desire ran in his veins, his mouth hung open both from the pleasure and the words being uttered, would the two of you be into this as well?

God, he wanted nothing more than to have you underneath him as Eddie did, he wanted to get a taste of you, he wanted to feel your pussy squeezing him because he knew that’s what Eddie always blabbed about through those thin walls, how tight you were and how warm you felt.

Steve shouldn’t have listened, he shouldn’t have jerked off to his roommate having sex with his girlfriend, but fucking Christ the two of you were so hot.

How was he supposed to help himself?

“Would you want him to take a turn with you?” Steve’s ears perked, and his desperate tugs at his cock almost halted, he sat up a bit straighter, hand still rubbing his aching cock but eyes searching for you, searching for that approval.

You nodded shyly, a grin appearing on Eddie’s face  “Mhmm, I know you would, such a fuckin’ slut aren’t ya?” Steve’s guttural groans were concealed by the harsh skin-on-skin provided by the two of you, Eddie’s loud rambling, and his even louder grunts.

Steve perfectly red in the face, fucked his fist harder, trying so hard not to finish himself off this early, but the desire pooling in his tummy was nearing.

That shy little nod, Eddie’s wicked grin, fuck, he was going to keep this memory in his brain forever. 

“Love you, pretty girl,” Eddie hummed, sloppy kisses peppered all over your perky tits, mouth latching onto one of your nipples, sucking, nibbling while his fingers drew small circles around your breasts, igniting more pleasure.

Overstimulating you in every way possible, and Steve watched with an open mouth.

Both of you could not resist the grunts that left their lips, your frail body becoming mushy at all of the sensations, looking pretty as ever. 

“You look s’perfect like this, honey, did you know that? Mhmm, this cunt made just for me, huh?” Eddie cooed, and Steve’s strokes against his dick were more sensual now, it’s like he wanted to feel you too.

You sank into the couch further every time he thrust himself into you, praises making your eyes roll all the way back to your head. 

“Takin’ it so well, sweetheart, look at all the sweet noises your pretty pussy makes when I’m fuckin’ you raw, huh? God I love it when you get all dumb like this on my cock, princess.” he praised. 

“Being the prettiest, good girl f’me, thinkin’ about nothing but my cock, perfect little fucktoy,” He groaned, voice getting coarse with need. Those chocolate hues you loved about Eddie were long gone now, replaced by something more sinister, fueled purely by hunger, and it made your nails dig deeper into his back, making him hiss.

“Ed—Eds…” Steve wanted to worship you, all of his thoughts being stripped away because of how fucked out you looked. Candy gloss smeared all over your needy lips, hair disheveled, eyes barely open, and spread out for Eddie like the good girl you were. 

“Yeah, honey? What d’ya need?” Tone saccharine sweet, his hand landed on your cheeks, smushing them together, making it harder for you to register anything, he was making you feel so hot, so much… And you couldn’t bear to talk.

“N—need to, uh—” Words died down your throat when he shoved himself deeper, hitting that sweet, sweet spot that made you go all dumb on him, just like he loved. 

“You wanna cum, doll? Huh? Can’t handle it anymore? Thought you were my tough girl?” He mocked with an ‘Aww’ sound, jutting out his bottom lip, making you nod vigorously. 

“I—I’m your good girl, sir,” you muttered. Steve was trying so hard not to tug at his poor cock harder, not to go completely feral because he so wanted to last. He wanted to hear the pretty whines that left your lips, the guttural groans that consumed Eddie. 

His hands landed on your clit now, he could feel your pussy nuzzling him, could feel that familiar feeling pooling in your tummy, and he wanted to get you into that space, where you could barely talk, where you whined and trashed for him to let you cum. “B—but ‘s t—too much, need to—” You whined, struggling.

Eddie breathed out a throaty chuckle, drawing circles around your sensitive spots to earn those breathy huffs from you. “Can barely speak, such a good fuckin’ cockslut for me, aren’t ya?” He mocked, all mean and filthy.  

“And, all fuckin’ mine,” He grunted, he wasn’t forgiving, and neither was his cock, slipping out of you entirely to drive you crazy. Dark chuckles left his lips when he enjoyed your little whines, that deeper dig your nails had on his back with anger.

Steve’s lips wrapped around his knuckles, biting on them to conceal the lewd noises daring to slip out. 

Eddie’s huge length, slightly bent to the left, facing upwards was slicked in both of your juices. Steve wanted nothing more than to have his tongue lapping up at him, taste both of you.

“Speak up, slut, what do you want, you wanna cum, huh?” Vicious, and bold, his hand had a hold on your throat now, harsh enough to draw both pain and pleasure out of you, making you cry out at the emptiness.

“S—so mean,” you murmured, you loved every fucking second of it. But his teasing was driving you crazy, and you so badly needed that sweet release, and to feel his warm load filling your hole.

He pouted at your words, releasing your throat as his palm stroked your cheeks, he knew you enjoyed his mean side, but he still couldn’t resist your pretty face and that addictingly gentle tone. 

You always knew how to break him, and to get him to do what you wanted. Which was to get completely fucked.

With a sticky sweet and delicate kiss on your lips, he was quick to thrust back into you. “‘M s—sorry, sweetheart, ‘m sorry but you’re just so pretty like this, can’t help it,” he breathed against your neck, his movements getting sloppier when your moans became more pathetic and needy, he wasn’t going to last if you came.

And it was okay because Steve was dying for a release, both knuckles white, one from tugging, the other from biting into it to stifle his loudness.

“Don’t worry, honey, you can cum for me,” He cooed, lips pressed into the shell of your ear, kissing a trail down to your cheekbones.

“S—shit, fuckin’ shit, sweetheart cum for me and I’ll give you what you need,” He fucked himself deeper, slower into you.

Steve’s eyes rolled into the back of his head, blurry vision only able to focus on the two of you.

“You want my cum don’t you, baby? Want me to fill you up?” You were gone, back arched with pleasure, trying to get more from him if that was even possible.

“P—please, Eds, need you to mark me, make me yours, all over again,” you moaned, craving him, feeling that tight coil in your tummy getting tighter and tighter. 

“A—ahh, shit—shit, sweet girl, when you talk like that you know you’re gonna be the death of me,” He grunted, his own voice failing him when he was all lost in you. 

“Need your cum, Eds, p—please, cum with me baby,” you begged, body frail beneath him, soft, mushy, and all ready.

“Shit, f—fuck, so fuckin’ tight when you cum, sweetheart, I don’t think I can—” His rambling got louder and louder, not caring if Steve could hear—hell Eddie wanted him to see this. See the way you were getting split open by Eddie, begging, while Steve fucked himself to the two of you, all so desperate, waiting for Eddie’s instructions. 

A newfound desire found Eddie at the thought of both you and Steve being so submissive to him, letting him take all of the control. “Fuckin’ fuck! Jesus—mmpf,” he grunted.

Steve was desperate now—as much as he was ashamed of it, he had jerked off to the two of you so many times before, he knew from the noises, that the two of you were close.

And he was more than ready to finally see your pretty face and Eddie’s mouth hung open when both of you came, his fantasies coming true. 

He fucked his fists harder, balls drawing up at the needy moans that slipped past your lips. “G—gonna fuck all of my load—fuck—into you, princess.” One final thrust rutted deep inside of you, filling you to the brim. 

“Fuuuck, fuck fuck!” He yelled out, and that’s all it took, both of your eyes squeezed shut, melting into the couch, loud moans and groans filling the room while Steve watched with lulled eyes.

Your orgasm was quick to wash over your body, pussy convulsing around his cock deliciously, ropes of his warm cum spilling inside of you. All the while Steve squeezed his cock, spurting his cum all over his hand, white beads of his warm load covering his knuckles. 

Heavy breathing filled the living room, and Steve’s room. His mind hazed, and eyes remained shut. 

“Shitshitshit, take it, baby, take it all,” Eddie breathed out, his load sitting pretty inside of you, filling you nicely.

“Good girl,” he whispered, planting a nice kiss on your glossy lips, peppering your face with small ones, a wide grin sitting on his lips.

“Fuck,” Steve grunted out unintentionally, hand planting on his mouth with a loud smack, but it was too late. 

Eddie’s head snapped backward, a grin sitting on his lips before his dangerous gaze met Steve’s dilated pupils, blown out by pleasure, and the anxiety in his system slicking his forehead. 

“Did you enjoy that, Steve?” Eddie mocked from where he was standing, not moving an inch, eyeing the shocked look on his face, fully enjoying it. 

Steve, at a loss for words, couldn’t even blabber a simple response. How the fuck was he going to explain this? 

Eddie barked a mocking chuckle, pouting. “Your poor cock must be aching from those calloused hands, abusin’ it every night. You think we didn’t hear your pathetic groans every night? The walls are thin, Stevie,” he cooed, his tone so teasing that Steve gulped. 

What the fuck was going to happen now? 

Would Eddie beat him up for being a fucking pervert? 

Would the two of you move out as soon as possible? 

Endless possibilities ran through Steve’s mind, yet he couldn’t muster a single reply, cursing himself for even fucking doing this. 

Yet, much to Steve’s surprise, Eddie’s reply was his wildest dreams and fantasies bundled up into a full sentence. “Oh, don’t be shy now, Stevie, come out, let us help you.” You hummed quietly agreeing with Eddie, too fucked out to say anything else, yet still up for more. 

Without another word Steve got up, unashamedly walking into the living room with his junk out, hand still covered in his cum, Eddie’s gaze and grin were much more devilish up close, making Steve’s cock stir against the cold air hitting his tip. 

You were quick to sit up on your knees, dragging Steve closer to you, hand gently holding up his semen-covered knuckle, giggling at the sight before your gaze met his. 

The blood rushed to his cock in an instant, your doe-eyes still held that innocence, yet there was something filthy about it that had Steve wanting to melt into a puddle. You stuck out your tongue at him, mouth quick to wrap around his knuckles, lapping up his juices. 

Your gaze stuck on him, and Steve’s thighs shuddered with need, eyes drinking you in while you wiped him clean and released his hand with a pop sound of your velvety lips. 

A lewd noise escaped from Steve’s mouth, making him grow weak in his knees, still unable to find the words to speak. You were perfect. Just perfect. 

“Stevie tastes so good, Eds,” you hummed sweetly, gaze never leaving Steve’s, and Eddie watched the two of you with newfound hunger. 

“Do you want us to help you, Stevie?” You asked with a pout, plushy lips slickening with your candy gloss, and now with both Steve and Eddie’s juices. Steve nodded vigorously, head about to fall off his neck, gulping and almost groaning at you. 

Steve wasn’t a morning person, until now. 

[burningcheese-merchant]

burningcheese evidence part 2 because yes

I'm kind of foaming at the mouth right now, I'm not really going to be 100% coherent in this post, episode 6 has melted my brain and I need to cool off (also I have actual work to finish irl lololol)

Spoilers under the cut, don't want to be That Asshole

Also for the 1,000th time, it is perfectly okay and understandable if you do not like this ship, I'm not holding a fucking gun to anyone's head, I know it's not really canon or anything, just let me have my dark hero/villain relationship in peace

"Hey where's Golden Cheese? Is Golden Cheese awake yet? Can she wake up now? No? Why isn't she awake? I want her to wake up already, why won't she wake up already? It's implied that I've asked this question multiple times, when will someone give me the answer I want? I want her here, I want her attention, I want her to wake up already-"

He thinks so highly of her in his Joker-esque way. She's so strongggg. He knows she's strong. Why wasn't she strong before? This isn't like her, he knows that. He knows her. He knows she's strong. He wanted to see her be strong. What happened?

Wanting to straight up get high with her. Wanting to watch her let loose. Calling her a combination of "little thief" and "little bird", two pet names the BurningCheese community (spearheaded by yours truly) has had Burning Spice assign to Golden Cheese

"I KNEW SHE WOULDN'T DISAPPOINT ME" bro thinks the whole damn world of her and had faith she wouldn't let him down, look how fucking happy he is she broke out of prison. She's just like him right now fr fr

She's giving him precisely what he desired, which is a struggle. Which is a chase. Which is a hunt. Which is a FIGHT. Which is HER. HE WANTS TO HAVE FUN WITH HER.

Bro is literally SMELLING her everywhere dude. He's attuned to her. To her presence.

"Hey bring her back to me, I miss her. But I swear to God, if y'all hurt her, if y'all ruffle a single one of her feathers, I will KILL YOU, YOU GOT THAT? SHE'S MINE! ALL MINE! BRING HER TO ME ALIVE AND THAT'S IT! YOU GOT IT?!?!?!"

God the cute sing-song voice I can't right now. Jesus Christ, my guy. Calling to her like that, really??

Sniffing her out again because he's fucking deranged and obsessed with her. He's got her whole essence on lock. Tracking her down like a fucking bloodhound. He's hungry for her, he's STARVING, he's BARKING MAD THAT ANYONE IS TRYING TO GET IN HIS WAY

Little bird? Little bird?? Little bird??? LITTLE BIRD??????????

THE NAME I HAD HIM GIVE HER IN MY FIRST BURNINGCHEESE FIC, WHICH I WROTE DAYS BEFORE THIS FUCKER EVEN RELEASED? THE NAME ALL THE OTHER SHIPPERS HAVE HAD HIM CALL HER TOO? YOU CANONIZED THAT? YOU MADE IT REAL? YOU MADE THE PET NAME HE HAS FOR HER REAL??? I CAN READ THIS IN A DIALOGUE BUBBLE FOR REAL? THIS IS IN THE GAME FOR REAL? ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW???

"How good it is to see you in one piece" SMILING AND LAUGHING BECAUSE HE'S GLAD SHE'S OK? TELLING HER SO TO HER FACE? MY GUY

Every step she takes that is wrong to others is right to him. Bust out of jail? Yes good I like that, I want it, I knew she wouldn't disappoint me. Lead him on, make him chase her, have them play hide-and-seek? Yes good, this is fun, I love the thrill of a chase, I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE I CAN FUCKING SMELL YOU I CAN FEEL YOUR FUCKING SOUL YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME LITTLE BIRD. Not taking his own goddamn power back? What kind of fool would make such a stupid, regrettable decisi- JK HE'S GLAD HE MADE THIS DECISION, THAT MEANS SHE CAN BE HERSELF AND KICK HIS ASS STILL, THIS IS WHAT HE WANTED, THIS IS EVERYTHING HE WANTED, SHE IS EVERYTHING HE WANTED! YES! (Also, one Freudian slip of several where he says it's HER Soul Jam and not HIS. He's already handing it over to her in his mind. Why? Why tho? Didn't he want it back? Guess not, huh? Guess having the pretty cheese lady beat his ass was too much of a turn-on, huh???)

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL? HE SAYS THIS TO HER? WITH THAT FACE? WITH THAT TONE OF VOICE? SAYING SHE'S LOVELY? THAT WHAT SHE'S DOING IS LOVELY? CALLING WHAT THEY'RE DOING A "DANCE"? TELLING HER TO KEEP IT UP? TELLING HER HE'S THOROUGHLY ENJOYING THIS?

HE KEEPS TRYING TO REASON WITH HER. HE KEEPS TRYING TO TALK TO HER, TO GET THROUGH TO HER, TO GET IT INTO HER PRETTY LITTLE BIRD SKULL THAT HE'S RIGHT. THAT DESTRUCTION IS THE ONLY WAY. Why go to that trouble? Why does he give a single, solitary fuck what she thinks or feels? Why even bother speaking on the matter at all, if it's a fundamental truth in his eyes already? WHY KEEP TELLING HER TO FIGHT, TO KEEP PUSHING, UNTIL SHE UNDERSTANDS HIM? WHY DOES HE WANT HER TO UNDERSTAND HIM? WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK? And what's this about "and see the day"? Didn't you want to kill her, Burning Spice? Didn't you want to crush her, break her to pieces? Was that another Freudian slip there? Did your mask fall off for a second? DO YOU NOT ACTUALLY WANT HER TO DIE? DO YOU WANT HER TO LIVE, TO STAND UP AND FIGHT, JUST SO SHE'S FORCED TO RECKON WITH THE TRUTH OF YOUR PHILOSOPHY? WHY DO YOU CARE, MOTHERFUCKER? HUH? WHY???

"Stop teasing me" my brother in the Witches we ALL know you don't mean that. You've been BEGGING her to tease you the past two fucking chapters. Stop lying you dumb fuck, your face is giving it all away anyway

He's still clamoring for them to get fucking high together, honestly wtf is wrong with him? Drug-fueled combat, is that his kink? Also boy he sure has a vested interest in her enjoying their battle, doesn't he

She wants more? She wants more of him? She wants more of what he's got? She wants more fun? She wants him to strike a pose that clearly shows off his arms and chest more? YOU GOT IT BABYGIRL-

"You would destroy everything you have, just to get to me?"

"FUCK YES!!!"

My guy. My man. My cookie. My bro. My dude. Your mask fell off. Your mask fell off, my guy. You just told her point-blank that you'll kill people to get her. You'll blow up your own house to get her. You'll trash everything you ever owned to get her. You even have excuses ready to go to justify it. "Oh, it's all garbage, if you want it go ahead. This place ugly as fuck, I hate it, I wanted it gone anyway." Burning Spice. Burning Spice Cookie. You just admitted out loud that you are so obsessed with her that you will tear down your entire life for her. You just told her that to her fucking face, with a big, dumb grin. You've got the "happy" sprite equipped, buddy. You're HAPPY to tell her in no uncertain terms that all that matters to you is going after her. Fighting her. Getting to her. HER. ALL THAT MATTERS TO YOU IS HER!!!!!!!!! YOU JUST FUCKING SAID THAT SHIT OUT LOUD!!!! CAUGHT IN 4K AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN MAD!!!!! YOU'RE NOT EVEN DENYING THE ALLEGATIONS!!!! THIS CAN BE USED AGAINST YOU IN COURT, BURNING SIMP COOKIE!!!!!!

If he doesn't compliment her in some way, even indirectly, at least once per conversation, he will spontaneously combust. Pointing out how different and interesting she is, how she breaks the mold, how she defies the cycle of change and history even after it's already chewed her up and spat her out. Just say you want to put your dick inside of her, dude, please this is fucking embarrassing-

Ok nvm bro is straight up having the biggest, hottest orgasm of his entire fucking life right now, he's straight up speechless, he says like 3 coherent words to her after she awakens and then he's just looking like THIS and smiling so hard his damn is about to be split open by that ecstatic grin. Laughing his stupid, horny, obsessed, creepy ass off. Bro looks like he's CHEERING FOR HER in this shot, are you fucking kidding me? He's HAPPY she got back up, he's HAPPY she got a power boost, he's HAPPY she's kicking his ass, JUST LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL SMILE, HE'S SO IN LOVE IT HURTS

And last, but not least:

Was this really necessary lol

BurningCheese is canon, Burning Simp Cookie is down terminal, we can all fuck off home and die now, I will now be ascending to Heaven (for 5 seconds before God smacks me back down to Hell, because no way I deserve paradise for all of my bullshit lol), thank you goodbye

[anemptypuddingcup]

Renunion.

Trafalgar Law & Eustass Kid x Female Reader.

Original. Part 1. Part 2.

It’s finally finished!

A continuation of one of my older Halloween fics that I thought finally needed a continuation. When I read back on my old fic, I ain’t realize it was that dark until I reread it. While dark stories may be interesting to write, Jesus Christ aren’t they stomach churning. Even if my writing was shit back then- It still caught me off guard-

Anyways!- To the fic! Be wary of the warnings please!

‼️Contains: !DARK CONTENT AHEAD! Dark themes. Angsty smut. Mentions and use of a pistol. Mentions of pregnancy and losing the pregnancy. ModernAU! A bit spicy in the beginning. Grinding and/or dry humping in the beginning. Reader and Law recovering and doing better from Eustass’ attack. Eustass inviting himself back into their home. Law getting back at Eustass. Eustass still having that blood kink. Eustass is injured and weakened. This fic is long as shit guys. More of story dialogue that slides into smut. Next part will contain…Y’know.

It had been one year….

One whole year since that very attack happened on that terrible night.

Law was still recovering slightly from his injury while you were mentally and physically recovering from the experience.

You both were worn and broken…but you both had and loved each other very dearly. The two of you may even say that you grew closer and bonded from the experience. Taking care of each other and helping each other grow stronger is what made you both happy to have each other during the pressuring time.

It also made you two realize that there was more to your shared relationship than just sexual pleasure. While you shifted away from the sexual spectrum all together after the damage, Law was more caring and understanding of your situation as to why you did. He comforted you and he wasn’t forceful with it either. He didn’t even try question or pry into a single thing, instead he provided comforting touches and words for you whenever you felt down.

He couldn’t bring himself to ever be forceful or disrespectful towards you or your body, especially after the things you went through with Eustass’ attack. He provided comfort and affection for you and you were grateful to have him there to make you feel better.

It wasn’t just him who provided comfort, you had also made sure to care of Law’s injury to the best of your ability. Even if he had more nursing experience than yourself, you volunteered to help him after he almost suffered from a fatal wound.

You fixed his meals and helped him heal his wound while still taking him for his daily checkups. He was extremely grateful to have a girlfriend who cared as much about his health as you did.

It really did make your connections stronger, allowing the two of you to explore and open up to each other more when either of you fell uncomfortable or even thought about the experience.

You both were practically two peas in a pod.

And tonight, you both were finally willing to take that step again. A step that the two of you haven’t taken in so long.

..

Trafalgar was sitting there on the soft bedding that nestled his weight within his shared bedroom, his upper body bent over as his elbows were propped up against his knees which helped hold his face within his tatted hands. He was staring down at the floor with his head deep in his thoughts, his mind roaming the more he stared down at the soft carpet beneath his feet.

He was practically buried deep within in his mind, his feet tapping at the carpet in slight excitement as his body grew rather impatient. While part of him was so happy to be doing this again for the first time in so long, part of him couldn’t help but to wonder if you were really ready and prepared for this.

Your hand ran up seductively along the side of the door, a little chuckle leaving you as you stood there naked in the front of the doorway. Your body wore nothing but a pair of lacy panties holding at your hips, and while a matching bra would’ve looked nice…who’s really worried about all that at a time like this?

You stared at your beloved boyfriend who was a bit too distracted to place his eyes onto your pretty little figure.

“Traffy? Traffyyy?”

A heavy sigh left him as he continued to stare at the floor blankly, your voice almost unable to pull him from those thick and cloudy thoughts he had. A little hum left your lips as you slowly walked over to his larger frame, your eyes softly observing his tattoos as you stood there in silence.

You reached your hand out to him and pressed it against his shoulder, your soft voice calling out to him one more time which finally catches his attention.

“Traffy…” You called out to him, his eyes slowly trailing up to your smaller frame before he blinked blankly. His eyes focused on your face before they steadily scrolled down your body, a small groan leaving his lips as he observed every inch of your beautiful skin.

You gave him a softened smile, your lips curling up while you ran your hand along the softness of his tatted shoulder. Law exhales shakily at your naked touch, missing the touch of your hand against his bare and tattooed skin.

“Baby…”

“Are you alright? You looked as if something was bothering you…” You asked, your body softly setting itself down onto the bedding below while Law continued to stare at your pretty frame. While he had seen your beautiful body naked plenty of times, this time it was just so mesmerizing because it was the first time in a while that you both were going to get physical with each other again.

“I’m…I’m fine. Are you sure you’re alright with this though?” He asked you, his hand reaching out for yours before he grabbed it and held it softly. You nodded in response and pepper a smooch to his lips.

“I’m positive. I’m so ready for this. I know we’ve been waiting for a long time for me to get back comfortable, but I’m absolutely ready for you to give me your love again…”

Law’s breath hitches from your words and he smiles happily before his hands reaches over you and softly grabs at your hips. A soft groan leaves him as he pulls you over his lap, his fingers running up along your lower back which makes you gasp out shakily.

You steadily lowered your body down onto his lap, making sure to not apply too much weight to strain his body and his healing wound. He noticed your hesitance and his grip tightens on your hips before he pulled them down all the way onto his lap.

“You’re ready for my love huh…? I didn’t expect to hear ya say that to me…” He whispers to you, his tone making your face flush before you’d giggle all nervously. You wrap your arms around his neck and he freezes up, your lips moving in towards his ear before you mewl out shakily and pressed a smooch to the shell of it.

“I miss your body against mine Traffy…” You whispered to him, your hips softly grinding against his boxers which causes him to groan out all shakily before he gulped. Law’s tatted hands steadily ran up your soft sides teasingly before he’d wrap his arms around your body, his lips exhaling shaky breaths against your skin while his hands touched and felt at the soft skin of your back.

“I miss your body too~ I miss you so much ________.” Law moans out shakily, his body now trembling against yours while you chuckled and relished in his body warmth against yours. You lifted your head and stared into his sparkling golden eyes before you’d give him a loving smooch, a soft groan leaving Law’s throat as he immediately fell in love with your lips. His kissing grew very rough but it was expected since his body was probably in need of yours.

Gasps left the both of you as you continued to grind your hips against his, a moan leaving him as you slowly pulled your lips away from his. Law watched as you placed your hands to his shoulders before softly shoving him down onto the bed, your hips continued at grind against his semi-hard length as you first felt him growing hard within his boxers. Law gripped your hips tightly and grind your hips against his, a heavy groan leaving his lips as he threw his head back in arousal.

“Goddd~ You feel so good~ I missed this and I miss you baby~” Law reached a large tatted hand up to your breast, gaining a aroused whimper from your lips while you gave him a soft smile. “I miss this with you too Traffy~” You responded, your back arching as you steadied your hips up against his clothed cock.

You lowered yourself down against his chest and your hands cupped his face, your thumbs softly playing at his goatee along his chin. Law sighs out shakily and he pushed his hand against your back to pull you in closer. You both reach in for another kiss, your breathing heavy yet steady as you closed in the space between the two of you.

Yet before you could even lock your lips back into his-

A loud yet muffled crash had echoed down into your bedroom.

The sound of glass breaking echoes throughout your shared home. It immediately caused the movements of your bodies to halt, the two of you slowly looking back towards your bedroom door in your silence.

You blinked blankly before you’d slowly turned back to look into Law’s eyes which had a slight look of shock within them. Law quickly sits up from his bed, his arm wrapping itself around your midsection before he’d pull your body close to his stronger frame.

He stared at the bedroom door as he tried to listen, wondering just what…or who…exactly made that noise down the house.

You look up at Law, observing him as he watched that bedroom door with slight intensity.

“Did…Did you hear that baby..?” Your voice trembled as you asked Law your question, your shaky tone causing Law to rub soft circles into your side to soothe you. “I did…Just stay calm. Someone probably just tried to break in. This neighborhood isn’t exactly the safest…” Law exhaled irritably, both of his arms now wrapping around your body to keep you close into his embrace.

You both continued to sit there in silence for a moment as you began to hear heavy footsteps hitting the hardwood floor of the hallway, the sound of your footsteps making your heart beat grow faster from anxious terror. They sounded so heavy…yet the walking pattern was…oddly familiar.

The hair on the back of your neck began to stand up as you grew more terrified, your breathing growing shaky as the noise of the footsteps grew closer and closer to your bedroom door. You whimpered out shakily and buried your head within’ Law chest, praying that whoever the intruder was within your house would just leave or at least not come in the bedroom.

Though your prayers went unanswered and instead of a blessing…a curse was back to haunt the two of you.

A husky voice called out to the two of you throughout the darkness of the house and was muffled by your bedroom door.

“I know you both are here.”

“I saw the two of you through your curtain from outside your window.”

The sound of a familiar voice called out to the both of you, his voice was so familiar that it was almost immediately recognized by the two of you.

You head shoots up from Law’s chest and the both of your eyes widens while your bodies freeze against each others. Your blood ran cold as the two of you just sat there, your body trembling while you held on to him tighter.

“She’s still just as pretty when I first laid eyes on her. I see she’s gained a bit of weight too…”

“There’s nothing wrong with that though, it has been a year since I’ve last see the two of you~”

Law stared at the bedroom door in shock, the sound of his voice making Law let out a shaky surprised gasp in response. Your arms tightens around Law’s body and his head immediately glanced down to see your horrified expression spread all across your face which fell pale and drained of color.

Law quietly calls out your name.

“________…?”

You didn’t answer. In fact you couldn’t. You felt that your world had been shattered into pieces again just like it had been before…on that day. To find out that such a demon had trespassed back into your beloved home made your blood run ice cold.

Why didn’t the two of you just take the time to move?

You trembled uncontrollably in Law’s embrace, your throat releasing fearful whimpers while your face began to scrunch up in dismay.

A hot tear brewed within your eye before it unconsciously streamed down your face. Your throat and chest began to burn and fall tight, your entire body unable to move itself due to the panic you were expressing. Your eyes slowly glance up into his, your body not moving a single inch as you sat there still as a statue.

“It’s h-him, Traffy…He’s back…” You gasp shakily, your body shaking like a leaf within his arms. Law gulped, his eyes wincing as he refused to believe what was happening. There’s no way he would come back. Wasn’t he satisfied enough after what he had done to both him and yourself?

“Baby-“

“Traffy- T-Traffy…”

“I’m…scared…I-I’m so scared…”

Your arms tighten around his frame, your fingers practically clawing at his tanned and blotched skin in fright as you pleaded to him with a broken expression spread across your face.

“Please Trafalgar…Protect me…Protect me from him…” You pleaded with desperation, your voice slowly beginning to break which causes Law’s eyes to widen while his heart twisted from your tone. He noticed as more hot tears began to brew at the corner of your eyes, a slight hiccup leaving your lips as you looked down and shut your eyes.

Law’s tatted hands cup your cheeks and he lifts your head up to face his, your tears slowly spilling into his palms while some spilled down your face and onto his chest. Your soaking eyes looked up into his and he peppers a smooch to your cheeks, trying his best to kiss your tears away.

“Baby…O-Oi- Oi! Look at me! Listen to me carefully.” He demanded, his eyes focusing on your small frame shifting before you’d look up into his eyes with tears filling yours.

“It’s going to be okay. I’m here to protect you. I swore on my life itself that I would never let anything bad happen to you ever again…Alright?”

You stared into his eyes before slowly nodding, a gasp leaving you while you watched him pepper a small kiss to your lips before he’d move his hands from your cheeks. His hands slide down to your bare shoulders and he stared deep into your eyes while you continued to tremble against him.

“Reach in the drawer and grab my pistol.” He demanded, his tone and expression deadpan as he spilled those words to you.

You nodded without hesitation and climbed over the bed and over to the drawer at the bedside. You slowly pulled the drawer open and grabbed the gun before crawling back over to him, his tatted hand grabbing the gun from your smaller one before he’d immediately aims his towards the door.

“Get behind me and cover your ears.” He demanded, the room still filled with silence as you immediately obeyed his demand.

You got behind his larger frame before you’d pressed your hands over your ears, your eyes watching as Law aimed the gun over towards the door. You could see that his hands were shaking…

“I’m giving you one warning to get out of my goddamn house Eustass. Leave.” Law yelled, a heavy breath leaving him as his hands slowly steadied.

It fell silent throughout the house until Eustass took a step in closer to the door, testing Law’s patience.

“Oh? Threatening me? You’ve gotten bolder.” Eustass chuckled, his fingers pressing up against your shared bedroom door while Law groans out in fear and irritation.

“Leave Eustass! I won’t ask you again!”

“And if I don’t?”

Law pulls the trigger of his pistol, causing a loud bang to fill the small bedroom as he shot a hole through the bedroom door. You lowered your hands from your ears and immediately went back into Law’s embrace, yearning for his comfort as a slight be wave of relief washed over the two of you.

Silence filled the room once again and you both sat there for what felt like an eternity, waiting for Eustass to either make another apparent noise or stay silent. You both stayed quiet and held on tight to each other, your body trembling against Law’s while he continued to stare at that damned door. He lowered the gun and lets out a heavy sigh, wondering if he had even killed Eustass.

Though he was immediately pulled out of his thoughts.

Another footstep was heard and the both of your eyes widens as you watched the doorknob turned slowly. The door steadily swung open and red piercing eyes stared back at the two of you in each other’s arms. His large figure was almost taking up the entire doorway, standing tall while he gave the two of you his deranged grin.

Your fingers clawed at Law’s skin as you stared up at into Eustass’s piercing red eyes, your body shuddering uncontrollably while he chuckles at your frightened faces. His body slowly trails in and he lets out of heavy exhale as he stepped into your room.

Eustass stepped closer to your shared bed, causing you to jolt within Law’s frame while you shut your eyes tightly. Law kept you close to him, his hand now aiming his pistol back towards Eustass while he clenches his teeth in anger. Law aims the gun towards his head while his finger practically hovered over the trigger, his hand steady while his eyes were heavily focused on his ex-friend’s frame.

Eustass smiled before he slumps over, his hand grabbing at his side while he exhaled heavily. You lifted your head up and looked down at Eustass who lifted his head back up to look at you.

“Nice…shot…you…dipshit.”

Eustass suddenly collapsed onto the ground, a heavy groan leaving his lips as his blood slowly began spill and soak into the carpet of your bedroom. His body trembled at the feeling of his hot and sticky blood spilling from his body, a delighted groan leaving his lips as he immediately grew aroused from the sensation his blood spilling out of him.

“What a warm welcome…You two missed me?~” He asked exhaustively, his head lifting up as he watched Law peek down at him from above. Law aimed the pistol down to his head, his brows furling as he let out a heavy exhale of anger.

“Never in your goddamn life. What the fuck are you doing here in my house again?”

Eustass chuckled lightly, his eyes looking up at Law’s as he lied there in his own blood.

“I see you’ve finally brought your guard up, ‘bout fuckin’ time you did.”

“Honestly, I came to see her again…I wanted to know how she was doing. That doesn’t mean I didn’t wanna see you too Law.” Eustass admits, his words making you shudder in discomfort.

Law hops off of the bed, still aiming his pistol down at him while he crouched down to his body spear out on the floor.

“You aren’t fucking welcome here and you never will be. You won’t ever be able to see my woman again, ya hear?”

“As if your shitty threats will keep me away from her…”

You peek over the bed and looked down at Eustass’ body on the ground, your face physically twisting as you grew uncomfortable just by staring down at his frame. Law looks up at you before sighing out, his hand handing the gun over to you before he’d help pull Eustass up off the carpet.

He sets Eustass up against the wall, his eyes looking down at his wound while you kept the gun aimed steadily towards Eustass. Eustass looked up into your frightened eyes before he exhaled a laugh, his hand clenching at his wound in his stomach while he stared at you with his now weakened eyes.

“How was that pregnancy treatin’ you? Ya ever keep it…? Judging by your body, I’m guessing you didn’t?” He asked you, cracking a snarky smirk while your eyes widens at his question.

Law’s lifts his head in shock, his eyes staring up at Eustass while your arms slowly lowered the gun to swallow and process the question. Law shoots up to his feet and snatches the gun from you before aiming it towards Eustass. He pulls the trigger out of anger, the loud gunshot causing your ears to ring as Law nearly shot Eustass straight in the skull. A bullet hole was now in the wall, engraved right beside Eustass’ ear.

“You motherfucker! How dare you!- You think you can just ask her that shit!? After everything you’ve fucking done to her!?”

You exhaled in response as you sat there on your bed, your body frozen as you sat there before him. His eyes observed your figure, silently admiring your beautiful curves and whatnot.

His question seemed to echoed throughout your mind, his words singing themselves deep into your very being to the point where the pit of your stomach grew twisted in distress. You shuddered before turning away, your mind beginning to swirl as it reveled in the terrible memory that now haunts your mind.

“I…I didn’t keep it…” You finally responded to him, your face forming into an expression of remorse as you ran your arm up along your sides. Eustass huffs in response.

“Aww that’s too bad. You could’ve had somethin’ to remember me by-“

Law shoved the barrel of his pistol up to the front of Eustass’ temple, his eyes giving him a look of resentment and scorn as he stared down into his sickening eyes. Heavy breaths left his lips as he gnawed at his pierced bottom lip, his eyes a wincing a bit as he held the gun so steadily up against his head.

“Quit talkin’ to her. She doesn’t want to speak to you.”

Eustass laughed at his expression, his ruby red eyes staring up into his golden ones which were filled with an obvious hatred.

“You look like ya just ready to kill me already…Aren’t ya Law?” He chucked, his breathing growing shaky as he gave Law a wide smile.

“What’s the fun in killin’ me later, Trafalgar?”

“Either option will free us of your fucking waste of an existence.”

Eustass felt his body growing hot and aroused at the thought, the thought of his brains splattering onto Law’s white and clean wall turned him on tremendously. He wanted the both of you to see his beautiful death at the wonderful angle the two of you were at. He could feel his cock throbbing within his jeans, his restraints tight and holding his length back.

Law’s face slowly twisted into an expression of disgust and his brows furled as he watched how pathetic Eustass looked.

How did his best friend even get to this point?

“You’re a sick fuck…Eustass-Ya.” Law groaned, his hand slowly lowering his gun before his eyes slowly glanced over to yours.

He stared into your eyes, realizing that you probably wanted Eustass gone as much as he did. As much as either of you didn’t wish such misfortune upon anyone, Eustass is the only one that you both wished to be gone.

To disappear from both of your lives.

On top of that…He was causing you to close back up again…and after so long you’ve been bringing yourself to warm up back to the thought of sex.

Though seeing Eustass again, caused that bubble to burst so easily.

A heavy sigh leaves Law and he plops himself back down onto the shared bed, his hand running up over along his face as he lets out an irritated groan. His hand sets down his pistol and you watched as he rubbed at his temple, his demeanor giving off the obvious impression that he was…very upset.

“Damn you Eustass…Why did you have to come back.” He groaned within his palms, his voice trembling as he spoke those words.

“Traffy…”

Eustass stared at the two of you with blank eyes, a hum leaving his throat before he smiled to the two of you. He loved seeing the two of you…His best friend and his crush, a pretty duo indeed.

You both were absolutely fit for each other.

“If it’s needed, just go on and finish me. You won’t have to keep staring at me anymore.”

“I’ll gladly die at the hands of you two.”

“I want you to fucking suffer, I can’t kill you just yet.”

“Or maybe you’re just having a hard time deciding whether you want to kill me or not.”

Law fell silent and he sighed out heavily before his hands began running through his raven strands.

“You can’t kill me, can you? Your best friend that you’ve known since high school. You can’t deny that Law.”

“I know you well.”

You frowned before pressing your hand against Law’s shoulder, your expression falling worrisome as Law slowly stared into your eyes. Law runs his hand at the back of his neck before sighing out once again. “I’m so sorry babe…I’m really…struggling…here.” He apologized, his head turning away from you while you blinked blankly.

“It’s okay Law. I’m alright with whatever you decide.” You responded, pepper a smooch to his lips while he hums out. Eustass smiles even more before huffing out exhaustively, his body feeling weak from the amount of blood he’s already lost.

“Whatever the two of you decide, I’ll enjoy my final moments with you. Makin’ me suffer ain’t gonna be so easy for you.” He says quietly, his eyes staring at the two of you before he groans out a bit.

Law shuts his eyes softly before he’d wrap his arms around your frame. You stare down at him before smiling, your hand reaching up and rubbing at his strands while he sighs out all shakily.

“You’re okay with anything…right?”

“Of course I am. If this is Eustass’ final moments with us…We can decide on something for him.”

His eyes slowly opened and he stares up at you before nodding, agreeing with your words.

“Yeah. You’re right.”

“Finally agreed on somethin’? Ain’t gonna last much longer here…”

Law lifts his head up from your breasts and pulls away from your body before standing up off of the bed, his body trailing over to Eustass while Eustass stared up at him with a smile.

“We’ve decided on something. We can’t harm you because you’re a sick fuck. So why not just let you watch us…”

“After we’re done, we’re putting you down. I’ve had enough of you.”

“That’s the kinda game we’re playin’? Why not just let me join in if you’re killing me right after?”

“Absolutely not. You’re not touching neither my woman nor myself.”

“Like I said, I want you to fucking suffer in your final moments.”

“If you can even accomplish that…”

A heavy sigh left your lips as you sat there, your hand reaching up up to your head before you rubbed at your temple.

This situation is rather…irritating.

Though if it’s his final moments…You might as well be nice…right?

Even if he wasn’t nice…He can’t hurt you now.

…

You’ll figure something out. You’re sure you’ll be able to.

[burntsaltsblog]

tw: mentions of blood, mdni

Chapter Three

"We gotta to take her to the hospital."

"You know we can't do that."

"We can because she's fuckin' dying!"

My body felt like it was floating before my focus settled on a steady throb of pain in my lower stomach.

"Butcher, she's not dying. Her pulse is strong, and since I stitched her up, she hasn't bled whatsoever."

"Then, why the hell ain't she wakin' up?"

"Because she's exhausted. She lost a great amount of blood and wore herself out trying to fucking wrestle you in the van."

Blood.

That word caught my attention. I remembered blood and lots of it as it painted Butcher's knuckles a deep red.

"If she's not up in thirty minutes, I'm takin' her to the emergency room, end of story."

"Butcher, you, and I, and fucking Jesus Christ himself, know that if we step one foot into any medical facility, we will be taken into custody. It's not worth the risk."

"She is. She's worth the risk.

It was quiet for either a few minutes or a few hours. Both timeframes felt the same in my hazy state.

A long sigh broke the spell, followed by more dialogue. "Jo is ok, I promise you. Now, I need to grab the bag of fluids that I left in my room. While I'm gone, don't you dare think about running off with her. I am the only medical professional she needs right now."

Footsteps trailed off as my eyes slowly blinked open to take in my surroundings. I was in the basement of the pawn shop, on the couch that I was still convinced had bed bugs.

"Mornin', sunshine."

The Cockney accent drew my attention, and I looked up at Butcher's tired face. His hazel eyes bored into mine, and memories from earlier flooded my brain.

"Here ya' go," Butcher said, offering me a glass of water.

Upon attempting to sit up and accept the drink, I gasped as my abdomen screamed in pain.

"Woah, there. It's a little soon for you to be up and at 'em, doll. Here, lemme help ya'," Butcher said gently as he laid me back down on the couch and eased a hand under my head, propping it up so I could drink.

Grateful, I eagerly gulped the water, finishing the whole glass in mere seconds and earning a chuckle from Butcher.

"There, ya' go. Down the hatch."

He slowly lowered my head back on my pillow and placed the empty glass on the coffee table behind him before turning back to face me, studying my face in great detail.

"You gave us a right scare there, love."

"At least I know you guys care," I shrugged. "Now, when I do actually drop dead, I'll be expecting a funeral with the works—fireworks, I mean. See if you can get Celine Dion, too. I heard she's available."

I expected another laugh from Billy, but instead, he looked more solemn than ever. His eyes trailed down to where my shirt, a clean one without blood, rode up on my stomach, showing the gauze that MM had wrapped me in.

"I thought I had lost ya'," He mumbled.

It was quiet between us due to the fact that I didn't know how to react to Butcher's surprising words.

"I guess I can relate to the feeling," I finally said as my face hardened. "Since you left me for three months with no goodbye. I thought you were dead."

Butcher bowed his head, "Jo, you have no idea how much I fuckin' regret leaving ya'. But I had no other choice."

"You always have a choice, Butcher." My voice grew louder as my emotions rose in powerful waves. "And you didn't leave me. You fucking abandoned me!"

He cupped my face, but I turned my head, rejecting the physical affection. "Don't," I whispered. "It's too late. You can't just walk back in here and act like nothing happened. Like you didn't fuck me, and then throw me away like garbage the next day."

Butcher's nostrils flared as he rose to his impressive height, towering over me. "Now, listen here-"

"Ok, I'm breaking this up," MM called, reentering the room. "Jo is very weak right now, and I cannot allow her to undergo any extra stress."

"I'm not weak," I quipped back, whipping my head to gaze at MM as he leaned over the back of the couch.

Unconvinced, he asked, "Really? Let me see you try and stand up then."

When I didn't move to rise from the sofa, MM shook his head. "You need fluids and rest. Luckily, neither is hard to obtain." He held up a bag of fluids before hanging it on an IV stand next to him.

"Now," he continued, doling out commands. "Close your eyes and go to sleep. I'll check your stitches in a couple of hours."

"But I'm not tired," I argued.

"The bags under your eyes say otherwise."

"Well, this couch is uncomfortable," I grumbled. "It hurts my back."

"Alright, we'll get you to your room then," MM sighed.

Before I could stop him, Butcher scooped me up into his arms, and I protested loudly. "Hey, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Oi, shut your pie hole," he whispered harshly, fanning the side of my face with his breath that stank of whiskey and dominance. "I'm takin' care of you whether ya' like it or not."

I fought an internal battle before closing my lips and fixing my eyes into narrow slits.

"Good girl."

Air was quickly expelled from my lungs as I exhaled, willing myself not to rub my legs together as an ache settled between them.

But it was no use. Butcher knew the effect he had on me, and from the corner of my eye, I could see a smirk plastered on his face as he carried me to my room, full of arrogance after winning our little quarrel.

"Dontcha worry, darlin'. When you're on your feet again, you can beat me up for being the bad man that I am."

I didn't respond because I refused to be baited into another argument with Butcher. Instead, I kept a pout in place and stared straight ahead, thinking of all the ways that I could cause him physical harm. After all, he had just given me permission to, and it was proving to be quite invigorating.

"And maybe when you're all done, you'll fancy bending over and lettin' me enjoy a meal or two. Because if my memory serves me, you seemed to enjoy it last time."

"Well, the last time was the only time," I curtly informed him as Butcher gently dropped me down on my bed. I inwardly chastised myself for falling for his trap when he flashed his crazy eyes above me.

"Mhm, that's what they all say."

"Well, I mean it," I snapped, pulling my blanket up to my chin as if it would shield me from Butcher's snarky words.

"Sure ya' do," Butcher said condescendingly as he patted me on the head before leaving the room.

I was relieved to be out of his company and was disappointed when he returned, the IV stand with the bag of fluids still hanging from it in tow and other needed supplies grasped in his hand. I watched as he prepared the IV tubing before he sat down on the edge of my bed and huffed, "Give me your arm."

"Why can't MM do it?" I sulked.

"Because I'm doin' it," he replied in a matter-of-fact manner.

I grumbled under my breath, clearly displeased. As I reluctantly drew my arm from under the blanket's coverage, Butcher looked at me with a bushy brow raised. "What? You don't think I'm a suitable nurse?"

"Well, your bedside manners leave much to be desired."

"That's funny. All my other patients think I'm perfectly charmin', especially the older ladies. I didn't know I appealed to nans so much," he snickered, running a calloused finger over my arm, searching for an appropriate vein.

"I'm surprised you appeal to anyone."

"I guess ya' should be questionin' your own taste then, eh?"

"Believe me, I am."

Butcher didn't reply as he wrapped a small piece of fabric around my bicep, creating a makeshift tourniquet.

"Don't look, ok, doll?" he instructed, swiping a cotton ball covered in rubbing alcohol over my arm. My nose wrinkled at the strong smell, and I coughed.

"I don't need an IV," I said, trying to negotiate at the last minute. "I'll drink lots of water. Even that gross electrolyte shit MM buys."

"I don't think that's gonna to cut it, sweetheart," he stated, sliding the needle inside of the small catheter.

I bit my lip, trying to resign myself to my fate but failing miserably.

"M'not gonna hurt ya', ok? Just look at the ceilin' so you don't maul me to death."

"It's not like you wouldn't deserve it."

Butcher closed his eyes as I began to tread on his nerves. "Princess, you outta think before you speak that way to someone who's holdin' a very sharp object inches from you, yeah?"

"But you won't hurt me. You just said so yourself."

"Doesn't mean I'm not tempted."

I rolled my eyes and held my breath as I followed Butcher's wishes and looked at the ceiling. I winced slightly when I felt the needle initially enter my arm, but Butcher gently ran his free hand over my shoulder, distracting me.

"Atta girl," he breathed. "You're doin' so good."

My body trembled as I floated down from my last orgasm. I was vaguely aware of Butcher as he pulled me to lay on his chest, both of us panting.

"Y'alright, sweetheart?"

I could barely reply as my eyelids fluttered open and closed. My mind was full of various thoughts, but none of them made sense as my head floated somewhere above the rest of my body.

"Look at me, doll," Butcher said, running a hand through my hair. "Lemme see them pretty eyes."

I mustered all of my strength to peel my eyes open as I looked up at Billy with a lazy smile on my face.

"There she is. Atta girl," Butcher whispered. "You did so good for me."

Even in my delirious state, I keened under his praise, and Butcher chuckled at my reaction.

"My beautiful girl," he murmured as I nuzzled into his neck, nodding off in the arms of someone I loved.

Yes, I loved Billy Butcher.

He just didn't know it yet.

I held my breath as I forced myself to count the questionable yellow spots on the ceiling and not get lost in yet another memory of Butcher pretending to cherish me. I had just reached the twelfth discolored splotch when Butcher sat back and said, "All done, love."

I looked down at my arm and furrowed my brows in confusion when I saw the catheter fully inserted with some tape to keep it in place. Aside from the initial insertion, I hadn't felt the rest of the procedure.

"Told ya' it wouldn't hurt," Butcher said proudly, crossing his arms over his broad chest, reading my thoughts, which were clearly displayed on my face.

"I guess you're not the worst nurse in the world," I relented.

Butcher's mouth curled up at the side, and I knew my meager compliment had inflated his already oversized ego.

"Well, ain't that sweet of you to say. But don't tell MM, alright? He prides himself on his medical skills."

Butcher delicately adjusted my blanket, pulling it tighter and tucking me in for the night. "Now you have a little lie-down, love. And dontcha let those manky bedbugs bite."

"Are you going to read me a bedtime story while you're at it?" I inquired.

"The only stories I like to tell aren't appropriate for bedtime," Butcher whispered, winking at me.

He headed for the open doorway before turning around at the last second. "Oh, and if ya' need help countin' sheep, just give me a shout. I'll be on the other side of the wall."

I nodded before curling up on my side, trying not to tug too hard on my IV as the door creaked shut, signaling that I was alone. The light from the living room drifted under the doorway, providing a makeshift nightlight and illuminating the small, dingy room.

Sleep came surprisingly soon, and I drifted off, dreaming of Billy's heartbeat under my ear as he held me in his arms.

༺༻

It felt like only minutes later when I woke up due to the sensation of someone's hands on my stomach, and I flinched as my eyes flew open.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," MM apologized. "I was just checking your stitches," he explained as he pulled the bandage back over my abdomen and quickly did the same with my shirt and blanket.

"How does it look?" I asked hesitantly as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

"So far, it's holding. But it wasn't my best work with Frenchie going ninety miles an hour and you...evading my help," he sighed.

"Sorry about that," I mumbled sheepishly.

"Hey, don't worry about it, kid. We all have something we're scared of. If I were being held down against my will while someone coughed in my face, I'd have done everything I could to knock their fucking teeth out."

My smile was small as I nodded in gratitude. "What time is it?" I inquired, wondering what day it was as well.

"Noon."

"Noon?" My eyes grew wide as I ran a hand through my matted hair. "Fuck, I must've slept for almost nine hours." Which was rare. These days, I was lucky if I slept for two hours consecutively with the anxiety that ran through my veins and the threats that loomed over our heads.

"Ten, actually. I told you your body needed rest."

I was preparing a comeback when my stomach grumbled loudly, interrupting the conversation.

MM rose to his feet. "By the sound of it, it seems you might want some breakfast. Frenchie made you a get-well gift in the form of French toast. Are you interested?" he asked, and my ears perked up at the offer.

"Sounds really good, actually."

He nodded, patting my shoulder. "Ok. Butcher will be in to help you up."

I groaned loudly, and MM couldn't help but laugh. "Sorry, kid, but Butcher made us all swear not to touch you. I was only granted special permission on the basis that it was purely medical so I could check your stitches."

"He's being ridiculous," I scowled.

MM regarded me knowingly. "I think I'd probably call it something else."

I rolled my eyes, and MM laughed again as he exited my room, leaving the door open.

I barely had time to prepare myself for Butcher's imposing presence when he glided through the uninhibited doorway with a cheery greeting on his tongue.

"Rise and shine, my love. How are we feelin' this mornin?" His accent was especially thick as he wasted no time in raking my blanket back.

I yanked the fuzzy material back over myself, glaring up at the Brit, but he just retaliated by gripping the blanket in one of his paw-like hands and tossing it across the small room.

I eyed the pile of fabric I was unable to retrieve due to my current injury and whined, "Don't leave it on the floor. I just washed it." But I was soon distracted by the chair that sat in the corner facing my bed. I didn't remember seeing that yesterday.

"Who's chair is that?" I asked, pivoting the conversation.

"Mine," Butcher replied as he carefully pulled my IV out and wheeled the IV stand out of the way. "You'll have to forgive me for bringin' my chair in, but I haven't figured out how to sleep standin' up yet."

"You slept in here last night?"

"Well, I don't have bloody x-ray vision, so how else was I s'pposed to keep an eye on you, eh?"

"Did it ever occur to you that not checking on me at all was a viable option?"

"Not in my book," he responded sharply before changing the subject. "Now, let's getcha up. According to MM, you're fancyin' some of Frenchie's cookin'."

Butcher slid an arm under my lower back and slowly pulled me into a sitting position.

"Easy does it, love," he said as I squeezed my eyes shut and breathed through the discomfort. "You got it."

I swung my legs over the side of the bed so my feet rested on the floor, and I braced my palms on my thighs, trying to steady myself.

"Take your time, ok? I don't need ya' rippin' your stitches under my watch," he advised as he laced our hands together and pulled until I was standing on my own two feet. My vision blacked out for a second as the blood rushed from my head down to the rest of my body, and I teetered forward, falling into Butcher's muscular chest.

"I've got ya' sweetheart," he assured me as he held my unstable frame against him.

I pulled back when my vision returned, and I looked up into Butcher's attentive face. "I'm dizzy," I mumbled.

"S'ok. MM said that's normal," he assured me softly, tucking my tangled hair behind my ear.

I wanted to chastise myself for enjoying Butcher's tenderness, but I simply didn't have the energy as I nodded, trying to turn toward the door.

"Do ya' think you can walk?" he asked, resting a protective hand on my back. I'm more than happy to carry you."

"I don't need a chauffeur. I'm perfectly capable of walking," I said, stumbling forward a few steps. I was determined to do something on my own after being coddled for the past twenty-four hours.

Butcher didn't reply, but he didn't remove his hand either in the event that I should fall again. That only increased the pressure I felt to walk faster and show him I was strong enough to move about without any help.

I finally made it out into the open area of the basement and was greeted by everyone. Hughie, Kimiko, and MM wore encouraging smiles as Frenchie placed a tall plate of French toast topped with whipped cream on the coffee table.

"Pour toi, Mademoiselles," Frenchie announced, and I thanked him profusely.

Under Butcher's watchful eye, I eased myself down on the couch, and he quickly followed suit. He placed a supportive arm around my shoulders, and I would've made a snarky comment about him being clingy, but his arm was the only thing keeping me upright at the moment, so I kept my mouth shut.  

Butcher placed my breakfast in my lap and whispered in my ear, "Do ya' need me to cut it for you, princess?"

I used all my energy to elbow him in his side, and he breathed out a laugh before addressing the room. "Alright you twats. Let's have a little chin wag about tonight."

My head shot up in confusion as I chewed the first bite of my French toast. The wonderful medley of sugar and cinnamon coated my tongue. However, I couldn't focus on Frenchie's superb culinary skills when the group began discussing a mission to which I was not privy.

"Ok, so after a little bit of trouble due to a very annoying firewall, I was able to hack their systems, and I found a blueprint of the building, so we'll be able to locate her office quicker than just going in blindly," Hughie said, squatting next to the coffee table and spreading out the blueprint that he had just spoken of.

"Who's office?" I interrupted.

Hughie looked confusedly at Butcher, who had remained silent beside me. "You didn't tell her?"

"Tell me what?" I asked skeptically, turning my head to look at Butcher, and he sighed.

"We're breakin' into Raynor's office to have a look around before the CIA cleans it out. Word on the street is that they're doin' it tomorrow, so we've gotta go tonight."

"And you decided this without me?" I asked incredulously.

"You were knocked out, love. Was I s'pposed to wake ya' up in the middle of the night? You're always moaning about how ya' need your beauty sleep."

"Well, that wouldn't have been difficult considering you were two feet away watching me like a fucking peeping tom," I snapped before glaring at the rest of the room. "I'm coming with you."

"No," Butcher said sternly. "You aren't goin' anywhere."

"Yes, I am," I pressed.

I felt Butcher's fingers tighten around my shoulder. "Let's talk about this later, yeah?" he suggested.

"Talk about what later? The mission that I was unaware of or the fact that you won't fucking leave me alone?"

I should've seen it coming, but I was still thrown off when Butcher suddenly stood from the sofa, leaving me to crumple against it without his support. He then stomped to the other side of the basement, only stopping when he reached the corner and sneered at me. "Is this better?"

"Expanetuily," I bit back, clutching my abdomen as it tensed up under the new strain as I stood as well, not finished with what I had to say on the matter. I thought I was holding up well until MM swore, rushing to my side and forcing me to sit back down.

Bemewsed by his behavior, I tried to question him, but when he pulled up my shirt, I saw blood seeping through the gauze, and my heart plummeted.

I had ripped my stitches.

"Hughie, go into my room. On my desk, you will find some supplies. Bring them to me," MM instructed as he made quick work of pulling back the now-damp gauze.

"Fuck, it's worse than what I thought," he sighed. "Nice going, Butcher," he said, throwing a dirty look over his shoulder at his boss, who had remained standing in the corner.

The dig forced Butcher into action as he footed it over to us. "Fuck you. Clearly, I didn't do it on bloody purpose."

"Just get out," MM barked as he accepted the supplies from Hughie.

"No, I'm stayin'," Butcher argued obstinantely.

MM pinched the bridge of his nose. "Butcher, Jo is clearly upset by you being here. So stop being a stubborn motherfucker and get the fuck out."

Butcher's gaze fell on me as lines formed between his thick brows in concern. I knew he was waiting for me to beg him to stay, but I wouldn't do it. His comfort was something I craved like a drug, and it was about time I got clean. Plus, I couldn't deny the sick urge I had to hurt him, to push him away like he did to me when he left for three months.

"Fine," Butcher uttered slowly when I remained silent, "I'll let you other cunts dry this one's tears when she's fuckin' beside herself over a goddamn needle and a little bit of blood."

He pivoted around and swept up the stairs. Seconds later, the old building shook as Butcher forcefully slammed the door.

It was quiet after Butcher's dramatic exit, and MM shook his head, running a needle through a lighter. The deja vu I felt was painfully prominent.

"You ready to try this again, kid?"

₊ . ⋆ ⁺ ݃ ⁺ ⋆ . ₊ ₊ . ⋆ ⁺ ݃ ⁺ ⋆ . ₊ ₊ . ⋆ ⁺ ݃ ⁺ ⋆ . ₊ ₊ . ⋆ ⁺ ݃ ⁺ ⋆ . ₊ ₊ . ⋆ ⁺ ݃ ⁺ ⋆ . ₊

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abandoned masterlist

[notmorbid]

dead like me, season 1.

dialogue prompts from season one of bryan fuller's dead like me.

i excel at not giving a shit.

a sunny disposition goes a long way in any line of work.

if it's my lunch hour, why is it only 35 minutes?

i know what might cheer you up.

everyone always says the same shit at funerals.

why do you have to be such an asshole?

they're not invisible. you just can't see them.

leave the plastic. cash is king.

isn't stealing from dead people kind of tacky?

i'm sorry, i tuned you out. were you whining?

as childhood traumas go, nothing beats the realization that everything dies. including you.

unhappy people do unhappy things.

you need to leave now. you're making me tired.

souls go bad in all kinds of ways.

all you can ever hope to do is make it easier. that may not seem like a lot, but it is.

i think for me, death was just a wakeup call.

you know what your problem is? you wake up every morning wondering what the world's gonna do for you.

i'm going to say this as politely as possible: i will fuck you up.

i am really trying to respect you. i am. but it's really hard sometimes.

carving my own path seems like way too much work.

just so you know, i'm very prone to anxiety attacks.

most of the time i'm talking out of my ass. i don't know shit.

just smell some fucking roses already.

you know, you can talk to me about stuff. if you want to.

monotony is the mind killer.

what you do now matters. what you don't do matters.

what is an average heart, anyway?

the password's 'rimjob', if you want to get on.

i wish people were more complicated, but they're not.

i don't want my picture taken.

it's very tempting to think the little jewels from our lives will bring it all back. but they won't.

i was dreaming about frogs.

i'm pretty sure they put mind control drugs in the water cooler.

you can't come up with a more original way to act out?

intuitive thinkers are the worst.

people lie all the time. it's not a bad thing.

if a lie is big enough, there's an instinctive need to protect it. it's almost maternal.

i need somebody to give me lessons on how to communicate with you, because i'm at a loss.

i need to be unconscious.

have you ever kept a scrapbook?

the lengths i go to for free food.

you've got a worldly quality. a certain je nai se quoi.

falling's easy, you just fall. jumping requires strength of will.

my face gets sore if i smile too much.

do you have to be such an asshole?

there's a finite number of personalities in the world, and i have met them all.

no wonder your children don't come and visit you.

jesus christ, fella, cut the cord.

you always seem to go a different way than everyone else.

open door's an invitation. gotta jump while the door's open.

why do i keep losing all the things and people that i care about?

when you can't make sense of someone leaving, you try to make sense of what they left behind.

i just don't get our culture's obsession with moving on. what are we afraid of, remembering? being sad?

you want to steal something, don't you?

you want to be a bowling pin your whole life, or would you rather be the ball?

i'm sorry, i'm trying to flirt with you. it's not really my thing.

why are you stalking me?

i could burn you a really great cd, if you want.

your perversions are coming into disturbing focus.

not in that life, not in this one, not ever.

you get close enough to see the pain, and it's no longer funny.

i really liked kissing you.

we all create, in our heads, who we are. who we want others to be.

what fresh hell is this?

just because you're dead doesn't mean you have to give up.

i'm not good at the pet thing.

i don't exactly know where home is, these days.

if you don't know the difference between flipping and flopping, we're knee-deep in water without a paddle.

i'm concerned you don't know what you're asking for.

i think some people wander because that's who they are.

you are a very internal little creature.

is it wrong to decide someone's a great person because they're so much like you?

you want to get coffee? i think that's what you're supposed to say when somebody's having a fucked-up day.

you do know the story, right?

you didn't do anything wrong. i'm just screwed up.

i didn't know that was all the time we'd have.

a girl's got needs, you know. even a dead girl.

i'm sure there's going to be some karmic reward for you down the line.

how's the whole 'dead' thing working out for you?

everybody grieves in a different way.

i could've, should've. didn't.

when you're mourning yourself, closure is a little tricky.

the one death you never get over is your own.

you can go fuck a duck.

i think i'm going to miss you the most.

do you want to do some acid?

i feel that my current reality is altered enough.

traveling alone has a certain magic.

what, did you all get together to vote me off the island?

the world is a very big place, and you are not the center of it.

let's just pretend everything is back to normal.

if you stand too close to a painting, all you see are patches of color. stand too far back, and you're missing all the detail.

haunting is all about envy.

i've always wanted to knock over a liquor store.

people mostly just want to hear themselves talk.

i work better alone.

i love the books that people leave here.

if a tree falls in the forest, who gives a fuck?

you can't smoke in here.

you have no respect for authority, you know that?

this job is really getting in the way of the business of living.

you only have one shot at life. this isn't a dress rehearsal.

i'm sorry i wasn't sweeter.

i'm sorry i didn't show you as much affection as i felt for you. i did love you.

i keep forgetting how young you were.

i love cemeteries. the quiet. the stories on headstones.

[bookshelf-dust]

how people can change

steve harrington x gn!byers!reader

word count: 4,427

warnings: swearing, like one use of y/n, mentions of season one steve's bullshit, mentions of death, enemies to friends to more type beat

a/n: my very first *full* steve fic. look at us. who woulda thought? not me. i've been working on this since february. don't look at me, i know. i know. but i think i've gotten some sort of hold on how i'd like to write steve. some of the dialogue (season 2) isn’t mine. (also the title is a lyric from strange by celeste!) let me know what you think, okay? i love you. steve loves you. don't tell me if it's bad.

————

November 1984

The door slams behind you with a deafening thud, and you take the extra five seconds to lock it. You know, that action no one else in your family seems to be capable of performing. 

The house is quiet, and you step over the map of Hawkins sprawling over the hardwoods, careful not to damage Will’s work.

Your keys clang against the table, knocking into your mother’s ashtray. It’s dead quiet again, and you freeze at a subtle interruption in the silence. There’s a muffled sound coming from somewhere else in your home, and frankly you’ve had enough of everything the last couple of days. Which is why Joyce sent you home to get some sleep, to clear your head. 

There’s no denying that you have a soft spot for Will. He’s always been your buddy. And you love Jonathan, you do, and he’s got this sick ability to know what you’re thinking or feeling before you do, but he doesn’t need your protection like Will does. 

Will is your best friend. And he’s got one hell of a support system with you, Jonathan and your mom behind him. He deserves the world. You’ve always thought that. 

You quickly infer that it’s a walkie making the sound, based on the staticky crackle, the slightly muffled voice of whoever’s trying to get through from the other side.

Yours is off—you know it is—so it has to be Will’s. Jonathan was too good for a walkie-talkie.

You step down the hallway, pushing your younger brother’s bedroom door the rest of the way open. You scan the small area for it, listening.

“Code red! This is a code red! I repeat, this is a good red! Shit, is anyone there?”

You snatch up the device, extending the antenna.

“Dustin? Is that you?”

“Jesus christ! Where have you been?” Dustin exclaims, and you swear you can hear someone else interfering with his words.

“Sorry! I wasn’t home. What’s wrong?” You sit on the edge of Will’s bed. It’s so much comfier than yours. 

“It’s Dart! He’s, he’s just…you know what? It’s a long story. Where are you right now?”

This time you definitely hear another voice, and maybe even music.

“Dart? You kept him, right? I fucking knew it, Henderson! You’re so not a good liar.”

“That’s for sure.” You can’t place the voice, not over the walkie and over Dustin’s rambling, but you do catch that and it’s enough to leave you curious. 

The boy starts to argue back, but you cut him off. “Dustin, who are you with?”

“Uh,” he coughs, “Well you see, um…Steve Harrington. I’m with Steve Harrington.”

Dustin gets a severe eye roll from said partner-in-crime, but he brushes it off. 

“What?” You’re so confused. How did that even happen?

“I know! But everyone’s been MIA!”

“Oh my god,” you say, and Dustin can practically see you face-palming.

“Look,” he shoves a handful of rogue curls back under the brim of his hat. “Can you just meet up with us? The old junkyard?”

You push off of Will’s bed, and start walking through the house again, retrieving your things. So much for a nap or eating anything other than hospital Jell-O. What are you gonna say? Fuck no? 

“Yeah, yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can.”

“Thank god,” Dustin breathes. “See you then. Over.”

You make sure to check the batteries in Will’s walkie before you go, and then you’re back in your car again, backing out just as aggressively as your mother (something you said you’d never do). 

————

“Yeah, Farrah Fawcett. You tell anyone I just told you that, and your ass is grass you’re dead, Henderson. Do you understand?” 

“Yep.”

“Okay.”

Dustin goes quiet for a minute, watching each step he takes. The train tracks are old, and there are one too many loose nails for his liking. “So what’s Y/N got against you, man?”

Steve adjusts one of the gloves he’s wearing, trying not to think about the fact that he’s gonna smell like raw meat for who knows how long. “Uh, I don’t know, exactly. Never really talked to them before. But I’d assume it’s the–”

“The assholery?” Dustin interrupts. 

“Dude.”

“What? It’s true.”

“No, yeah, you’re right.” 

Dustin catches the slip in Steve’s attitude almost immediately. “Hey, they’re good, okay? I don’t think you’re a total dick, if that means anything. You’re trying and that’s what matters, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah, we will. Thanks, Henderson.”

Dustin gives Steve a winning smile. This kid could rule the world, he thinks. 

“Anytime,” Harrington. He lifts his hand up, awaiting a fist bump that Steve returns without a second thought. 

————

You wander down the trail of raw meat you’ve found, not bothering to even question what's happening or where the meat came from. Frankly, you don’t really want to know. 

At the end of your path, you catch a glimpse of familiar curls, even if they are crushed under the red brim of a hat. 

“Dustin?”

The boy practically gives himself whiplash turning around to face you. 

“Holy shit, I’m so glad you’re here. It’ll be nice to have someone older than me who’s not a total pain in the ass.”

“Hey, I heard that.” 

The voice pulls your attention away from Dustin. When you look up, Steve Harrington is walking out of the biggest vehicle in this abandoned lot: a school bus. He’s wiping his hands on his jeans and pushing the ends of his sleeves up.

Dustin looks at you. “You guys have to be acquaintances at the least, right?”

You nod at him, feeling your face burn. If there’s a word for a less-than-acquaintance, you don’t know it. But that’s probably where your relationship with this boy lies. King Steve isn’t really someone you just miss. 

But yeah, you know him. You know he’s a dick. 

“Hi.” Steve pushes his sunglasses up into his hair and crosses his arms. 

“Hi.”

You only look at him for a moment before your eyes are back on Dustin. The younger boy notices the tension radiating from you, and honestly, he gets it. Steve Harrington wasn’t exactly the person he’d planned on spending his day with, but here he was. Desperate times call for desperate measures or whatever.

“So what are we doing?” You ask.

Dustin puts his thumbs underneath the straps of his backpack, bouncing on the balls of his feet a little. “It’s a long story. Best if we talk while we work.”

You roll your eyes at him, but follow the thirteen-year-old wherever he wants to go. You’re not sure you could deny Dustin Henderson anything. 

————

You watch as Max, a young girl you’ve just met, stomps up the steps of the ladder you’ve rigged inside the mess of a bus that you’re camped out in. 

Your chest aches because what Dustin just said to her was rude, it was rude, and you can’t believe the two of them. You sit, arms crossed and leg shaking up and down, glaring at Steve.

You find it hard to believe that after everything you’ve learned tonight, about Dart, about Mews—which you’re never going to get over because you only visit Dustin’s house for his cat, never him—that this is what they’re doing now.

“That’s good,” Steve says. “Just show her you don’t care.” 

Dustin is pacing, hands deep in his pockets. “I don’t,” he breathes.

Steve winks. Watching the two of them is like watching a tennis match. You don’t even like tennis.

“Why are you winking, Steve?” 

You drag your hand down your face, sick of hearing this stupid ass conversation. When Dustin sits, the constant clink of metal where Steve keeps flicking his lighter open over and over starts to give you a headache. 

“Fuck, Steve, would you quit it already?” 

He scoffs, snapping the lid to his Zippo closed harder than he had been before. “What’s your problem?”

“You’re pissing me off, that’s my problem.”

Steve’s brow furrows. He doesn’t really understand the sudden need for aggression. 

“Is this really the time for you to be yelling at me?”

“Is this really the time for you to be a dick?”

Dustin jerks the antenna on his walkie down, clearly sick of the two of you. “Would you children stop bickering? This is a life or death situation we have going on here.”

“I’d prefer death,” you proclaim. 

Dustin glares at you. “I can arrange that if you’d really rather die, than act civil for one evening.”

“I think all of the civility,” you gesture vaguely with your hands, “went out the window when you asked me to come help fight demo-dogs.”

Steve snorts at your words, and you glare at him, an “oh, is that funny?” look on your face. 

Dustin rearranges the hat on his head, stuffing his curls underneath it once again. “Alright. I’m gonna go check on our status, you two…work shit out, okay?”

“Dude,” Steve starts, “I’m older than you. I don’t have to listen to your instructions.” He gestures vaguely with his hands.

Dustin flips him off, and that’s the only response Steve receives, leaving the two of you alone in the bus.

You remain quiet, hoping that if you do you might just disappear or dissolve into the cracked leather of the seat you're sitting on. Then there really wouldn’t be any form of confrontation.

Steve starts flipping the lid to his Zippo open and shut repeatedly again, but this time it doesn’t annoy you. In fact, it gives you something to focus on, and you know that if you had one you’d be doing the same exact thing. 

You wonder if he’s nervous. Or just bored. 

Your knee begins to bounce when you realize that he’s looking at you, that he’s stopped messing with the lighter. But you refuse to look back, staring instead at the way the moonlight glints off of the metal in between his fingers. 

“So what’s your problem with me?”

The way Steve says those words is so unlike the way he’s spoken the rest of the day, the way he’s behaved with Dustin, that you feel a pang in your chest. 

He sounds like he used to. 

“Did you even hear that? How conceded you just sounded? Like it’s funny that I might have a problem with you, king Steve?”

Obviously the use of his nickname hits a nerve. He shoves the lighter back into his pocket and sits up, tucking his hands under his knees. 

“Would you just cut the shit and tell me what your problem is then?”

You sit up, matching his stance. There’s a part of you that wants to piss him off. You ache for it. 

“You’re a dick, that’s my problem.”

Steve scoffs. 

“That’s it? Like I don’t already know that?”

You roll your eyes, oblivious to the fact that all three of the younger kids you’re with have their heads hung over the escape latch in the top of the bus, listening eagerly. 

“You think I’m just gonna put up with you, Harrington? I’m sorry, did you forget the slut shaming you and your shitty friends did publicly last fall? Because I sure as hell didn’t. I didn’t forget that you walk around like you fucking own the entirety of Hawkins because you’re swimming in daddy’s money. I didn’t forget that your girlfriend took my best friend away from me.”

You stop, and Steve just looks at you. You realize how heavy you’re breathing and subconsciously watch the steady movement of his chest, trying to match the pace and calm down. You hadn’t meant to get worked up like that. But sometimes…sometimes shit just happens. 

Steve sighs. Honestly he feels a little sick. And he could argue with you some more, say that you don’t know what you’re talking about, that that’s the past, that he’s getting better. But that feels shallow. It feels meaningless. Because he knows it’s true. That in worrying about only himself or getting the girl or impressing whoever, he hurt loads more people than he realized. 

It’s such bullshit, he thinks. This life he’s been living.

“You know, I’ve gotten plenty of earfuls about my actions from Dustin, I promise you that much. He can be very mean.” 

You snort, considering there’s absolutely no denying that. “He’s a smart kid.” 

Steve nods. He’s trying to think of a way to respond. He’s not good with words. 

“Look, I-I know I’m a dick, okay?” he starts. You decide to be brave and look at him. He seems to like that. The eye contact. It’s like it lets him know you’re paying attention. He doesn’t get a lot of that, not away from school. 

“The thing with Nancy,” he gestures with his hands, looking away from you and at the wall of the bus, like it hurts him to talk about or something. “I don’t know. My solution to not getting what I wanted was apparently to take it out on her. Tommy H. proposed the idea, and I didn’t stop it.”

“You know I cleaned it off, right?” he continues. 

You uncross your arms and sit up, criss crossing your legs instead. “No. I didn’t know that.”

“It’s okay. It’s not like I broadcasted the information across Hawkins. Tommy and Carol don’t even know.”

Oh. The fact that they didn’t know tells you that he did it without needed recognition. He did it because he wanted to.

“I just—she saw it. And then there was the whole thing…”

You start to grin before you catch yourself, but he sees it. 

“It’s okay, you can laugh. I got the shit beat out of me.”

“You deserved it.”

He can’t argue with that. He won’t argue with it. “You’re right. I did. I said and did a lot that day that I regret.”

You nod, and then you’re both just looking at one another. It’s quiet out here, the same quiet you get at home, where you can hear the crickets, where you know there will be lightning bugs in the warmer months, free to roam uninterrupted by human activity. 

Steve pushes his hair from his forehead, and though he sees you track the movement of his hand, he doesn’t point it out.

“What did you mean about your friend?”

If you’re being honest with yourself, you hadn’t intended for that to come out, but being in such close proximity to Steve in this moment had just made everything spill out. 

You try to wave him off. “That was a whole thing. I didn’t mean to spill my guts like that.”

“No, it’s okay, I want to know. If you want to tell me, that is.”

You nod, chewing at your thumb nail now. Steve has the urge to reach forward and pull it free so you won’t hurt yourself, but he doesn’t. Instead he stays still and quiet, watching you contemplate a while. 

Eventually he decides to keep going. 

“I’m trying, you know,” he tells you. You look up and it gives him that little push to continue speaking. “To be better. I know you think I’m a total dick, and you’re not wrong, I know that, but I really am trying to be better. To be a good influence on those little shits.” He quirks his head upwards where he knows all three of his charges are eavesdropping, without a doubt. 

You take a second and look at him. Really look at him. He seems to carry himself differently, though it’s not something you’d notice if you weren’t looking. He’s not dressed like his mommy picked out his outfit. He looks messy. The mess draws you in. 

“I believe you. And I-I know I shouldn’t stereotype you, but it’s just—”

“I am a walking stereotype,” Steve grins. So do you.

“Yeah. I guess so. But I believe that you’re working on it. I suppose some people don’t remain assholes forever.”

“Yeah,” he chuckles, though a little distracted. You still haven’t told you what you meant, but that’s not what’s really bugging him. 

There’s this pull inside him. This longing for a friend. A real friend. Not someone he knows just because their dads were up each other's asses, or someone he just sits with at lunch because they’re of the same status quo. 

And he just feels so alone right now. What with Nancy, this girl he thought he was in love with and everything, but clearly she doesn’t feel the same. What’s he even supposed to do with that? Did he ever actually know anything about her? 

It doesn’t matter. 

What matters is that he’s sitting here with you, hanging out with thirteen-year-olds and hiding from creatures Steve’s brain can’t even begin to decipher. 

“Barb,” you say. Steve panicked a little internally at the mention of her name, considering. But he keeps his eyes on you, focused on each word that leaves your mouth. “She was my best friend, in middle school that is.”

He nods. Oh. Oh. 

“We were still close when we got to high school, had a little group and everything, right? And even though high school kinda fucks everything up, I didn’t want to believe that would happen to our little partnership, you know?” 

He nods again, trying his best to pay attention. He’s trying harder than he ever has in school. He probably shouldn’t ever say that out loud.

“Anyways, she was my best friend. She was all I knew, and then we got to lovely Hawkins High, and she met Nancy. Nancy and I never really clicked, even when we tried. I guess it’s because I’ve always thought she was a pretentious bitch—sorry, Steve—but I don’t know. We just fell apart after that.”

“So Barb had Nancy and I had…no one. And the way my brain saw it was Nancy took my best friend from me, and then Nancy started seeing you, and so I saw those two from across the cafeteria, lounging with the popular kids. With you. And then she died.”

Steve is looking at you in a way he’s never looked at you before. Like he’s in awe of you. And it’s not anything negative. It’s warm. Understanding. Like something you’ve said has straightened something out in his brain, sorted something he couldn’t figure out on his own. 

“S-so it was like we took her from you, in a way?” he asks. 

“Yeah. And you didn’t. God, you didn’t. But it just felt like this…” you trail off, searching for the right words.

“Domino effect?”

“Yeah! Yeah. Exactly. And it’s not your fault, not at all. But I guess I already saw you as some dickish rich kid and that gave me another reason to stay the fuck away from you. And now that I’m saying it out loud I realize how awful it sounds because people change, you know?”

“No, I get it. I’ve been an asshole, and I’m sure I still am—Dustin can attest to that—but there are rich assholes that don’t change or probably won’t ever change. I know a few of them.”

You go quiet again. Steve doesn’t want you to stop talking. He’s starting to think he likes the sound of your voice. 

“It’s good that you’re changing, Steve. I’m sorry I said you were such a dick.”

A breathy laugh leaves his throat. “It’s okay, I promise. I’m sorry for…everything.”

“Maybe we can make a truce or something. Start over. It’s not like we really know each other that well anyhow.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s cool. Whatever you want.” He means that. He thinks he’d do whatever you wanted him to. 

“Okay. Maybe we can just try and figure it out.”

“I’d like that,” Steve says. He stops himself from proclaiming that he wants to try and fix this with you. Because you’re listening to him. You’re not mad. He doesn’t want you to disappear on him after this. 

You give him a small smile and he swears he might cry. Not that that feeling lasts. 

“Hey!” Dustin is leaning down into the bus, hands clasped together. “I’m so glad we’ve got this handled, but we’ve got a code red, so let’s get this show on the road, yeah?”

————

June 1985

The door to the back room swings open, a frazzled boy rushing in. You drop your candy wrapper on the table, and Robin keeps talking about the girl that you missed coming in this morning. She was “such a babe.”  

“Hello?” Steve stands in front of the both of you, hands on his hips. You have to fight back a laugh. 

Your eyes find Steve’s immediately, and you swear they soften, but maybe you’re imagining it. You nudge Robin’s leg where your foot is propped up on one of the supports under her chair. 

She stops flailing and looks up, seeing Steve’s hand raised where he’d been about to snap to get her attention. She quirks a brow. “Don’t you snap at me, Harrington! This is important shit.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Could you two come and help me? I’m dying out here!”

It’s one of the hottest days of the year, and Scoops has had a line since it opened at ten. 

You look at your watch. “My shift doesn’t start for…fifteen minutes.” He rolls his eyes at you, though the gesture is void of any malice it could possibly hold. 

“Yeah, well this is supposed to be my break, so get out there, Buckley!”

She stands, though she’s pouting. “Come on.”

“You took the job,” he says, shoving her through the door. Robin gives him a look that you can’t see, but you can practically feel it from across the small room. 

Steve lets out an exaggerated sigh, ripping off the hat he’s been wearing and throwing it on the table in front of you. 

You watch him rummage through a bag before he emerges from its depths with a banana and throws himself down in the chair across from you, lifting your leg up from where you’d moved it to occupy the seat Robin had abandoned. His hand is warm on the bare skin of your calf, and he shifts the chair some, laying your leg across both of his. 

“Steve.”

“Huh?” He peels the banana, aggressively fast actually, and rips off a chunk, popping it into his mouth. 

“Why do you have a banana?” 

He meets your eyes. “Snack, duh.” He chews, and then gestures at the closed window. “Been working up a sweat out there I think I deserve a break.”

You grin at him, and he feels like he might hit the floor. 

“Want some?” Steve pulls off a chunk and holds it out to you. 

“Did you wash your hands?”

He gasps, mid-chew, and forces himself to swallow. “D-did I—yes, I washed my hands, mom, I’m not four.”

“Eh,” Robin’s voice breaks your little bubble. She’s pulled the window open–that way she can eavesdrop– propping herself up on her elbows. 

That makes you laugh, and when you smile your cheek is full of banana and Steve swears something is breaking inside of him. 

“Gang up on me then why don’t you,” he says, handing you the last piece he’s got left. He tosses the peel in the trash, “what do you want anyhow, Robin?” 

“Your break is up, and her shift has started. Let’s get to slinging ice cream, shitheads!”

You wipe your hands on your shorts and hop up. Steve doesn’t move, just looks at you. 

“C’mon, Steven. It’ll be lunch sooner than later.”

He grins. His eyes look tired and you wonder if he slept any last night. He told you once recently that he doesn’t always sleep well, that sometimes he has to listen to tapes in order to keep his head from being so busy, to keep the thoughts from being so loud. 

Steve has told you a lot since last fall. There’s a significant bit more that you know that’s more than what he’s given Robin, but you know he’ll let her in. He just needs the time. 

Though sometimes you think he might be giving you everything. The parts of himself he’s never shown anyone else. Because you’ve been such a good listener, and Steve’s never really had that before. 

He wishes he had the balls to tell you more. But he can’t fuck it up this time. Not with you. You’re too good.

Steve is your best friend now. You know that. He knows it.

If yourself from a year ago could see you now, she’d probably knock your fucking teeth in. But he’s just so much more than you thought. You’re not sure you’ll ever forgive yourself for not thinking there could be more in him, though he’s told you not to be upset. You’ve told him the same when he berates himself for not having paid you more attention in school.

It’s the past. You can’t live there. And today, you’re scooping ice cream for pre-sticky kids, for shitty pay, but it doesn’t matter because you have him. You have Robin. 

You stick out your hand, and Steve takes it without a second thought. His palm engulfs yours, skin warm and a little calloused. 

“We can watch whatever you want tonight.”

He squeezes your hand. You and Robin are supposed to have a sleepover with him tonight. He suggested he sleep in a guest room and you two have his bed, but Robin said she needs to be cuddled. You said you’re not letting him sleep anywhere but his bed. 

“I thought you wanted to watch Girls Just Want to Have Fun.”

“I always wanna watch that. But you can pick first, Stevie.”

Stevie. His stomach flips at that. You don’t let it out often, but when you do it’s like Steve might just die right there. 

He straightens, deal clearly made, and you pull him up–not that you need to. 

You push through the door with him, and immediately regret it. It’s like the soccer moms can smell your fear, and you know it. 

“Breathe,” Steve says. “Dustin’s here.”

He is. The entire party. That you can deal with. 

You think you could deal with an absurd line and angry mothers for the rest of your life if it meant assembling Dustin and Lucas’ weird orders. Even if you have to endure Will’s questioning looks and his pleas that you bring some ice cream home. If you have to listen to Robin’s word vomit.

If it meant spending time with Steve, you’d do it. 

God, how shit changes.

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

[sampirism]

talkn bout my opinions on rook and varric and roleplay and feeling disconnected (roleplay in a game sense not the freaky sense. sorry) - SPOILERS FOR ENTIRE GAME, BEWARE. this post is WAY too long. sorry about that too.

it's very evident that bioware/EA wanted an action/adventure game first and an RPG second, but let me type at you.

i hate to say that i didn't feel particularly sad about varric's fate, due to the structure of the game. it is, in hindsight, completely obvious that he was not alive! i just hadn't been thinking about varric much at all the entire game because you have limited opportunity to talk to him in the infirmary or when he plops around barefoot when everyone decides to sit at a table and talk about how fucked we are. i genuinely forgot he was there otherwise.

he barely feels like a guy himself. because there's no personalized worldstate, any specific mentions to events or characters might be jarring to the player who may have made a different choice along the way.

no one talks about how sorry they are about varric because they CAN'T or the twist is completely revealed. even with another DA2 character in the game (who my hawke romanced. who is now dead in the fade. glad to see you're LIVING IT UP ISABELA!!! (I'm jk. a little.))

there's no response rook can say to condolences outside of "oh, thanks" without the game fully revealing its Twist, because "I'll tell him you said hi" and "he'll be up and walking in no time!" are only reasonable responses from a Mourn Watcher, and even then, should still cause your companions to be a little alarmed. the closest we get to this is the inquisitor making reference to lost friends, and rook visually registers it, but its swept under the rug and moved on from immediately.

(i know we're all mentally unwell in this lighthouse repressing our feelings but jesus christ)

despite spending two games with him and enjoying him as a character, I struggle with feeling much for his loss AS my rook, because i found there to be no meaningful connection between him and rook. i was only told i was supposed to have one.

the game wanted so badly get the ball rolling with an immediate threat, its at the expense of roleplay. you could argue that da2 and inq also started with Immediate Threats but you are also very limited in the choosing of your backstory in those games.

rook was deliberately designed to be more open-ended, with more similarity to origins, but still gave you a prequel where you felt what your life was before The World Began To End.

there's this conversation you can walk in on with lucanis and davrin, where they're talking about their worst jobs. there are three dialogue for rook I think and i can only remember two but they were "I don't want to talk about it" or "man I have the dreadwolf in my head". (I... honestly think the third option was very similar to the second one but I have a very bad memory. sorry)

i played a mourn watcher mage. i had to have done some messed up spirit stuff. some bone shenanigans. not able to mention my Down With Nobles rebellion at all. i halfway expected it to be revealed that my rook was just like a shitty pawn (haha) and actually all her memories are fake and not real. but obviously you meet people from your shared backstory and they do know OF you but they don't really know you

in mass effect 1, there were some unique missions related to both the backstory and psychological profile you picked for shepard. they were short, and nothing happens like that in 2+3 that i remember, but they are unique to your character and are something at least.

no one really asks you much more about yourself! mourn watcher rook is literally Found In The Crypts as an Infant, an incredible mystery that you have to fill in the blanks yourself, which could be something someone wants-- but i personally like my characters a little more predefined in a game such as dragon age. vague history worked for me in games like skyrim and fallout new vegas, even baldurs gate! but makes me feel wholly disconnected from the story and group here.

there was a fair amount of dialogue choices for mourn watcher, especially with Emmrich-- talking with emmrich was one of the few times my rook felt like A Person-- but there were other times that my companions seemed to think emmrich was the only necromancer/watcher on the team. (i even specialized in death caller!)

by containing all the dialogue with companions to ! markers and outings, it's weird to be unable to have any conversations without being able to provide personal insight, whereas some NPCs in inquisition actively asked you about your past.

its particularly noticeable because of lucanis, whom my rook romanced. the dude has a lot to say about nevarran culture and the necropolis and such, and we can have zero conversations on the matter lol.

maybe this is like, really a mourn watcher thing? maybe it feels better as a crow or a warden. but if you offer me the choice to be a freak crawling around in a tomb. i am going to be.

TLDR: i really feel that a prequel mission, a recruitment by varric then a timeskip, a personal quest tied to the consequences of your backstory, something, anything, to make rook feel like an actual part of the world, was a necessity and sincerely a missed opportunity. if you actually read this far, thanks!

[justkindalivin]

Shotgun

a/n: AHHHHH hello!! I’m Lottie and I've been so horrifically obsessed with dealer Ellie that it's not even remotely okay. I had an idea for a fic and instead of requesting it from someone else, I decided why not write it myself! I’ve never posted any fics before bc I’m lowkey ass at writing so if any dialogue is awkward or the grammar is bad I'm so sorry :(  Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy it, have a great day I love you ♡    part 2

I kinda modeled the reader after me subconsciously, so the reader is a bit shy and bi (sorry to my lesbian baddies I luv yall, its only one line). Also, I just made up a random roommate named Sam, very sorry if your name happens to be Sam. 

Summary: After being dragged to a party by your roommate, you escape out to the porch for some air. Not realizing it was already occupied, you end up having a lot more fun at the party than you thought you would 

warnings: language, modern!au, dealer!ellie, weed, shotgunning, collage!au, things get the tiniest bit spicy (only a tad)

wc: 1.6k 

-------------------

The music pounded in your ears as you pushed past all the sweaty bodies in the middle of the room. Parties had never quite been your scene, but Sam had begged you to come with her and that girl does NOT take no for an answer

This all started with Sam bursting into your shared dorm, ripping your headphones out of your ears, and standing beside your desk with her hands on her hips. “Bitch, you never come out with me! It's like all you do is sit in the dorm all day, you gotta get out there!!” She excitedly screamed, pulling you to your closet to pick out what you should wear. 

You and Sam had been randomly paired as roommates but quickly got close despite how different the two of you seemed to be. Sam was always out at parties being social and seemed to know absolutely everyone on campus. You on the other hand... well were almost the exact opposite. You always joked that you were like the crotchety old man of your floor who only left for food or class, and just wants all those damn kids to quiet down while you’re trying to sleep. 

“Sigma Nu is throwing tonight, you HAVE to come with me. I’ll be lost without you please please please!” 

Sam was, in fact, not lost without you. She had practically ditched you the minute some frat boy asked her to play pong with him, leaving you alone and painfully sober in a sea of drunk college kids. As much as you loved Sam, she always seemed to do this whenever you come out with her. She’d beg that it wouldn't be fun without you but would leave as soon as you got there and you’d be stuck on babysitting detail for her drunk ass for the rest of the night. After about the fifth push and second drunk couple not noticing you leaned up against the wall and making out basically on top of you, you decided to leave in search of some desperately needed air. Weaving through sweaty drunk people should be a fucking Olympic sport because holy shit- you barely escaped with your life. After going through the kitchen, you finally found your way to a sliding door, quickly getting it open and stepping out into the cool night air. 

“Jesus christ why did I fucking come here,” you say under your breath, leaning against the porch railing and putting your head in your hands “And I can't even leave because I have to make sure Sam’s okay- god damn it”. Scrubbing your face with your hands, you look up at the sky and get lost in your own head until the sound of someone clearing their throat startles you. 

You quickly whip around, hand on your chest, to look at the other person who has also been occupying the porch without your noticing. A girl with short auburn hair and beautiful green eyes stands leaning up against the house. Her face is dotted with freckles and she’s wearing a comfy-looking flannel over a plain white tee, one hand shoved into the pocket of her jeans and the other holding a joint between two fingers. She is, without a doubt, one of the prettiest girls you’ve ever seen. You’re so entranced by her that you barely even notice when she says something to you. 

“oh...uhm- what?” you oh so eloquently reply, internally debating if you should throw yourself off the porch to make your escape from this awkward ass interaction. The girl smirks as her eyes scan you up and down- if you didn’t know any better you would think she was checking you out. 

“I said are you good? No offense but you kinda seem like you're freaking the fuck out” She repeats, smirk still present on her face as she brings the joint up to take a drag from it, blowing the smoke in your direction.

You blush, embarrassed that someone had been witness to your mini breakdown. “Yeah, I’m good. It's just a lot, you know? I don’t go to parties too often.” As soon as the words leave your mouth you cringe internally. Don’t go to parties a lot? You seriously couldn't think of anything cooler to say? Way to embarrass yourself in front of the hottest chick you’ve ever met. Your downward spiral continues until the girl breaks the quiet with a chuckle

“I get that, frats aren’t really my thing either but I get good business here so... here I am”. You nod your head, looking back up at the sky. “I’m Ellie, by the way. What's your name gorgeous?”. Your face feels like it's on fire, your brain practically short-circuiting trying to process that this actual goddess just called you gorgeous. You quietly tell her your name and when you look back at her, she has a wide smile stretching across her face. “Pretty name for a pretty girl.” 

Holy shit this girl is going to be the death of you. You’re sure that your face is going to melt off from how hard you’ve been blushing, the ability to speak has left you altogether. You’ve had flings in the past, with both boys and girls, but no one has ever been so brazenly interested in you. You find yourself desperate to know more about her, maybe run your hands through her hair and cup her face as you lean in for a- WOAH. You’re goin wild right now, you need to cool down

“So um... what do you sell?” You ask, trying to change the topic and give yourself some time to chill out. Ellie looks at the joint in her hands, then back at you with raised eyebrows. “Right right, sorry stupid question” you huff while looking down, embarrassed yet again by your lack of rizz. Ellie lets out a full-on laugh, pushing herself off the house and making her way over to you.

“You ever smoked before, pretty girl?” she asks while leaning on the railing next to you, so close you can feel the heat radiating off of her. Looking up, you’re surprised to see that her face is so close to yours that your noses are practically touching. 

“A few times, not a ton. I cough a lot though, so it's kinda embarrassing to do it with other people”. Ellie taps off the ash at the end of her joint, seemingly contemplating something before turning her attention back to you

“Well if you’re down to smoke, we can try a different way that maybe will help you cough less. That is, only if you want to”. You’re surprised by how quickly you accept her offer, asking her what she had in mind. Ellie moves from beside you to directly in front of you, planting her empty hand on your waist and bringing the joint she held in her other hand up to your face. “Okay, so it's called shotgunning. Just open your mouth after I take a hit, sound good?”. All you can do is nod, mesmerized as she brings the joint to her lips. The moon reflects off her soft skin, the end of the joint burning a deep orange as she inhales. After her hit, Ellie looks over at you and you do as she said. 

Flicking away what little is left from her blunt, Ellie cups your face with her now empty hand and brings her mouth to yours. As she’s kissing you she blows the smoke into your mouth, but you can barely concentrate, too focused on the feeling of her lips on yours. After only a few seconds, Ellie pulls away but keeps her forehead pressed to yours and you blow the smoke in her face as you both giggle.

You reach up and brush away a bit of hair that had fallen to cover Ellie’s eyes, running your fingers down the side of her face until you are cupping her cheek as well. You look at each other for a beat before you both lean in, lips meeting again. Ellie caresses your cheek before her hand moves to join her other one on your waist, finding their way under your shirt and stroking the skin there. She tries to deepen the kiss, licking your bottom lip which you playfully deny. Suddenly, Ellie pulls away for a moment to lift you up onto the porch railing. Your legs fall open and Ellie steps between them, connecting her lips to your neck and kissing down the side to your collarbone. Letting out a breathy moan, you grip the hair at the base of Ellie's neck and throw your head back. 

-SCHWOOP-

The noise startles you and you pull away from Ellie, much to her annoyance. Looking at the sliding glass door, you notice some obnoxious frat boy has thrown it open. 

“Hey, you deal right? I need a pre-roll if you have em”. Talk about a fucking cock block. Ellie all but growls into your neck, whipping around ready to give this dude the verbal thrashing of his life when you stop her by placing your hand on her shoulder. 

“It's okay, I need to find my roommate and get going anyway. But um... do you have your phone on you? Maybe I can give you my number and we can do this again sometime?”. Ellie smiles at that, pulling her phone out of her back pocket and handing it to you. Feeling bold, you give her one last kiss on the cheek before heading past the frat guy and back into the house.

You really hope she texts you. 

----------

an: tf kinda noise does a sliding door make? Def not schwoop but thats all my brain could come up with lmao. so thats my first ever fic, my writing could use some work so i’m def open to any feedback! Stay super freaky, have great vagina, I LOVE YAAAA 

[astarion-approves]

The Waiter

'There stood the most gorgeous man Tav had ever seen in their life. Tall with pale skin, ruby red eyes, and hair as white as snow. There was a certain air about him, it felt like being charmed into bed without so much as speaking a single word in return.'

The reader falls in love with their waiter in the Czech Republic.

Modern day 'reader' x Astarion. 1.7k words

Slightly NSFT (no actual sex or descriptive sex), excessive second hand embarrassment, reader is a moron, some Czech, third person.

Thank you to @chenziee for your help on this. I only speak English and she was an absolute saint to translate some dialogue for me.

Keep reading for the full story.

The Czech Republic was seemingly a little peaceful country compared to America, but the food was… interesting to say the least. Time after time, Tav found themselves in search of something familiar to have during their vacation. They ended up spending more time having fruit, cheese, and wine than anything else.

Finally, their friend, Eliška, put her foot down, dragging Tav to a traditional restaurant and insisting they try the food that her country has to offer.

“I warned you before you came to visit,” the friend said with a soft laugh as they were both seated at a small circular table. “I knew you wouldn’t like our food.”

Tav crossed their arms over their chest in defense. “It’s not my fault all your food looks so…” They gestured to a plate being carried out from the kitchen, something that looked like raw dough covered in a brown gravy with some form of meat and cabbage next to it. “Whatever the hell that is.”

“Vepřo knedlo zelo,” Eliška spoke quickly, the foreign language beautiful but words Tav didn’t understand. “It’s roast pork, dumplings, and sauerkraut.”

Tav shrugged. “That doesn’t sound bad. I guess I could get that.”

“Nope,” Eliška shook her head and opened the menu that was sitting on the table. “I’ll be picking for you.”

“Oh shit,” Tav grabbed their own menu, hoping to see what monstrosity their friend might order for them.

But of course it was all in Czech.

“Anything but blood sausage, please.”

Eliška snorted but continued flipping through the menu, a menu with no pictures of course.

While she browsed you stared at what you assumed was the wine menu, ‘Víno’ was one of the only words Tav managed to learn thus far and being drunk on vacation was their plan for most of the trip anyway.

“Dobrý den. Máte vybráno?”

Tav looked up from their menu, their eyes meeting with the waiter, and they felt as if they’d been kicked in the chest.

There stood the most gorgeous man Tav had ever seen in their life. Tall with pale skin, ruby red eyes, and hair as white as snow. There was a certain air about him, it felt like being charmed into bed without so much as speaking a single word in return.

Tav leaned forward in their chair, trying to figure out if those red eyes were just a pair of contact lenses. He tilted his head and raised a single brow at them.

Fuck—that was adorable.

Tav looked to their friend, who was still studying the menu. They mumbled something to the waiter, which Tav assumed was ‘just a second.’ The waiter nodded and turned to leave—

“Is he on the menu?” Tav blurted out before the waiter was outside of ear shot. “Because I want a bite of that."

“Jesus Christ, Tav.” Eliška swung the menu across the table, successfully hitting Tav on the side of their head. “Don’t just say shit like that!”

“It’s not like he speaks English anyway!” Tav defended. They’ve only been in the Czech Republic for a few days but besides their friend and other tourists they haven’t come across many non-native English speakers that could understand Tav’s version of English. Plus, only much younger people seemed to be learning English, while their waiter looked to be in his early 40s. “Anyone who speaks English here can’t understand me, we’re fine. I speak too quickly, remember?”

Eliška glared at Tav. “You only say that because I do all the talking. Please just.. try to hold your tongue. You could offend him.”

Tav held their hands up. “No promises.”

Soon the waiter returned, carrying two glasses, one in each hand. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, exposing his strong forearms riddled with thick veins. Tav sat back in their chair and just watched as the man put a glass down in front of them. How could forearms be that sexy?

“We need a new waiter, I’m going to melt just by looking at this man.”

“Tav,” Eliška hissed. “Shut the fuck up.”

He looked between the two of you in confusion before speaking, “Vybrali jste?”

“Dvakrát tlačenku s chlebem, džbán s vodou a sedmičku rulandy červené, prosím,” Eliška replied quickly, refusing to look at Tav while they spoke.

The waiter nodded, scribbling into a notepad with what Tav assumed was Eliška’s order.

“Did you get wine? If not put him in a tall glass for me—“

Eliška kicked Tav under the table, making them gasp in pain. Those heels were vicious.

“Ask him what his name is, I want to know what name I’m going to be dreaming of tonight.”

“Tav—“

“Oh my god we should ask him to take a picture with us to celebrate my first traditional meal—“

“Tav, stop—“

“Oh yes, kind sir, in my country waiters do take their shirts off for photos, it’s perfectly normal—“

“Tav, so help me god—“

“What’s ‘please fuck me’ in Czech?”

“‘Fuck’ is pretty fucking universal word, you idiot.”

“Just ask him his name, please?” Tav put their hands together, begging their friend for this one favor. This one obnoxious, ridiculous favor.

Eliška sighed and turned to the waiter, who still stood there looking confused but seemingly entertained at their interaction. “Já se moc omlouvám, mojeho kamaráda by hrozně zajímalo... Jak se jmenujete?”

The waiter chuckled, putting his notepad away and turning to Tav. He crouched down, putting himself at eye level with Tav. “Astarion,” he spoke slowly, softly, his voice deep and calm. Those red eyes stared back at Tav with ease, glimmering with amusement.

“Oh,” Tav breathed out. “Fuck, even his name is gorgeous… Astarion.”

Astarion smiled and stood back up, then Eliška thanked him and finally let him leave the table, the waiter pausing to look back at their table once before going into the kitchen.

“Astarion,” Tav repeated the name, enjoying the way it felt on their tongue. “Astarion—“

“Mhm, and not a common name in Czech at all, Tav.”

“Sounds Czech to me.”

“It’s not—“

“Oh he’s coming back!” Tav was grinning at his return, excited to see him again so soon, and carrying a bottle of red wine.”

Astarion opened the bottle with ease, pouring some into a glass and handing it to Eliška to be tested. She lightly twirled the glass before taking a small sip. But Tav wasn’t even paying attention to what she thought of the wine. They were more interested in watching Astarion as they worked.

“He opened the bottle so easily, Eliška. It's official. I'm in love.”

Eliška hummed and took another sip of the wine. “It’s literally his job to open bottles all day, Tav.”

“Bet he’s skilled with those long fingers then.”

Eliška ignored Tav and put her glass down. She spoke to Astarion, who filled the glasses and placed the bottle down between them.

Soon Astarion was leaving again, only to return shortly and carrying two plates to their table. Tav smiled as the meal was placed in front of them—

But the smile dropped into a frown when they looked from Astarion’s handsome face to the plate he just set down.

“What in the fuck did you order us?”

Eliška snorted into her wine, breaking into a laugh as she watched Tav stare at their meal in shock. “It’s domácí tlačenka.”

“Eliška, this looks like if you took bologna and made it evil.” Tav poked at the meat with a fork, unsure of how to proceed.

“Try it,” Eliška replied. “You’ll like it.”

“Astarion,” Tav looked away from their plate and to the now grinning waiter, at least he was being entertained by the silly picky American. “My future husband, can you believe she’s trying to make me eat this?”

“No.”

“See!” Tav pushed their plate away, refusing to try the dish. “Even this handsome god of a man doesn’t like it.”

“Uhhhh… Tav—“ Eliška tried to speak before being cut off by them.

“You can eat this weird ass dish, meanwhile I’m going to drag Astarion to the nearest hotel and let him be my meal instead,” Tav said and laughed at their own joke.

Eliška just stared at Tav in horror. “Tav… you need to stop speaking now.”

“Stop worrying,” Tav said and rolled their eyes. “He doesn’t understand me. Right, Astarion?”

“Right.”

“Just like I said, Eliška. He doesn’t speak a single word of English.”

“Not a single word,” Astarion said with a nod.

“Tav, please... take a second and think—“ Eliška grimaced as Tav cut her off once again. This time the woman keeping her mouth shut.

“I could go on for hours with everything playing through my mind right now with this man—“

“Oh my, please do tell.“

Tav laughed and turned their focus onto the waiter, who simply smiled back at them. “I’m here for two more weeks on vacation but I don’t want to see the sun again. I want you in my hotel room, fucking me until I can’t walk, fucking me until I forget my own name, fucking me until I lose sense of time and the Czech government comes to find me because I’ve been reported missing—“

“That is an awful lot of sex, not that I’m opposed to it—“

“I’m going to drag you back home with me, just so I can wake up every morning and see the most handsome creature in the world lying next to me every day of the rest for my life.”

“How romantic.”

“Then I’ll marry you and we’ll be together forever.”

“Fine. But only if we continue living here. American healthcare is a joke.”

Tav laughed and turned back to Eliška, smirking at them in a ‘I told you so’ kind of way.

“See? He doesn’t speak any English.”

“Tav… You are an absolute fucking moron.”

“What—“

Astarion hummed, drawing Tav’s attention back to himself.. “I can’t miss work, but I do get off in two hours. Let’s try a date first, before we get married. Alright?”

Astarion turned and left, the waiter laughing to himself as he disappeared into the kitchen once more.

“Wait…” Tav looked from the kitchen and to Eliška. “Did he just speak English?”

Eliška just shook her head in disbelief.

[biggestxsimps]

Hi! Me again. I think I now read all Connor x male reader fan fics and I need more. So that is my request. Connor x male reader. Also, If you are comfortable doing so, could you add a little bit of spice? Not much. And only as long as you are comfortable. Luv u

Love?

A/N: Thank you again for the requests, we really appreciate it! Unfortunately neither of us feel comfortable writing spice yet, but I tried to make it seem like he’s head-over-heels for the reader instead! Most dialogue at the start is taken from the actual game, I think it’s obvious where it doesn’t become canon anymore.

Connor was determined to catch these deviants; they had caused too much harm, and he was ready to put an end to them. "Hank," he heard Fowler’s voice, turning, he saw a young man in uniform behind him. "This is Detective L/N; he will also assist you in your cases." He continued. Before Hank could complain, Fowler had left the group. "Evening Lt." You give a quick nod to the older man. He groans before muttering a greeting. Connor couldn’t help but stare, you seemed.. different. Your gaze turns to the android "And who might you be?" You send a small smile his way. "My name is Connor, I’m the android sent by Cyberlife." He quickly rises from his seat, offering it to you instead. You thank him as you take a seat, hastily checking through deviant cases as Connor stands beside you.

Hank had taken both you and Connor to ‘Chicken Feed’, his favourite food truck. You stood against one of the tables with Connor as Hank stood in front of the vendor, ordering food for himself. "I don’t mean to alarm you, Detective, but I think Hank’s friends are engaged in illegal activities." You couldn’t help but chuckle at the android, this wasn’t your first time being partnered up with Hank, so you knew not to worry. "People do what they can to get by, I think it’s fine as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone." You shrug. Connor slowly nods, your laugh making his circuits buzz; he felt what he assumed, people call, butterflies? He had never felt his insides do that before and made a note to talk about it with Amanda later. You pat him on the shoulder and say, "Don’t worry ‘bout Hank; he's a bright guy." Connor felt his skin heat up at the touch, his fan speeding up as he overheated. Now he was worried. Before you could ask if he was alright, Hank had come with his meal.

It wasn’t until after you had met Kamski that you brought his behaviour up. He had chosen not to shoot Chloe, instead choosing to lose any information he could’ve gained from Kamski. You had all met back up on the bridge. Hank sat on the bench facing the river as you and Connor leaned against the railing. You looked over at the android beside you. "Why didn’t you shoot her, Connor?" You meekly asked. Connor’s face scrunched up, "I-I’m not sure, I just couldn’t." He looked down, staring at the water instead of at you. "Con" His eyes drift upward, the same butterflies rising in his chest. "You showed empathy, empathy’s a human emotion, Connor." Connor felt conflicted at that. He wasn’t a deviant; he couldn’t be. But when he looked back at you, he couldn’t get rid of the way you made him feel. The thoughts he had of you drifted through his mind, ones he knew he couldn’t pursue. Wait, feelings? Thoughts? 

The next day, Connor went to Hank’s house, determined to get an answer to how he'd been feeling. He was about to knock but saw that the door was unlocked, so instead he walked right in. "Lieutenant," he said, nodding at the man sitting down. "Jesus fucking Christ, Connor. Knock next time, god." The gruff voice echoed through the room. "Sorry, Lieutenant, it’s important." Connor takes a seat beside the rough-looking man. "Why couldn’t you go bother Y/N instead?" Connor quickly shook his head. "I was going to, but I think it involves him." Hank’s curious gaze lingers on Connor. "Go on," he insists. "My system has been acting up whenever I come into contact with Y/N." Hank’s brows furrow as he gestures for the android to continue. "My body heats up, and I feel a sort of buzzing in my chest when he speaks." He says, placing a hand to his chest, the sound of his fan overworking at the thought of the young detective. Hank chuckles before erupting in laughter. Connor tilts his head at the older man's actions.

"You’re in love, Connor."

Connor dead-panned. Love? He wasn’t in love. He wasn’t able to love; Androids aren’t able to love. His mind races over every interaction the two of you had, scanning over every detail. Shit. Maybe he was in love. "-onnor?" He’s brought back to reality by the amused Lieutenant. "It’s alright to be in love, Connor. In fact, I think he’s fallen for you too." Connor’s quick to reply, "He’s in love with me? How do you know?" Hank shakes his head. "You youngsters are so obvious it hurts." He pauses. "You should go tell him how you feel, Connor. God knows you’re not gonna get anywhere talking to me about this."

Hank was right. Connor rushed out, hearing the gruff man’s laughter as he left. He was quick to reach your house, quickly knocking. He heard a muffled "Coming" from behind the door before you opened it. Looking at you now that he knew what he’d been feeling was nerve-wracking. "Hey Connor, what’s up?" You open the door, dressed in casual clothes he hasn’t seen before. He can’t deny how good you look right now. He reprimands himself before looking into your eyes. He had never felt so nervous to speak up before. "Y/N." You nod, smiling curiously at the oddly jittery android. "Yeah Con?"

"I’m in love with you, Y/N." You choke on the breath you had taken, his straightforwardness catching you off guard. "Oh wow." You pause. "I wasn’t expecting that." You awkwardly laugh. "I, uh, I think I'm in love with you too, Connor." Connor's cheeks flush blue as he smiles. You feel yourself grin wider at the blushing android. You slowly reach a hand to his cheek and ask, "May I?" Connor’s head tilts in confusion. "Kiss you, Connor. May I kiss you?" You giggle. Connor’s eyes widen before nodding, your smiles being felt on each other's lips. Connor was the first to pull away. "Does this mean we’re together?" You take a breath before nodding. "If that’s what you would like, Con." The now blue-faced android rests his head against your chest. "Thank you, Y/N."

A/N: This is so much longer than I thought it would be, I was only expecting to write 400 words or so. I think I hit 1000 lol. Sorry if there is a lot of filler. I'm really bad at writing for Connor, sorryyy.

Masterlist

- Written by Owner 1

[the-elder-beato]

so I've been going through umineko again for a project i'm working on and it got me thinking about how masterfully the hints and foreshadowing regarding the true culprit and the overall mystery are sprinkled throughout almost every line of dialogue. and like duh it's a mystery story so of course there's gonna be foreshadowing, but it's also hard to strike a good balance with being too obvious that it no longer becomes subtle or being so vague that the reveals feel like they came out of nowhere

looking back on so much of the dialogue even in chapters 1 and 2, so much of it had me practically screaming at myself "how did you miss this the first time through?!" but at the same time, i can totally see how certain details flew over my head given the context the story being told is presented in.

gonna post some specific examples under the cut because one of my good friends is currently reading through it and i don't want to ruin it for him. SPOILERS FOR ALL OF UMINEKO BELOW

a pretty major one that a lot of people bring up is the constant mention of sickly sweet smells coming from kinzo's study as well as the oddly poisonous looking drinks that he partakes in that are bad for his health. this is probably referring both to the odor of kinzo's corpse itself and the preservatives genji and the others are using to prevent it from becoming obvious to the others in the mansion that don't know of his death

but the other things that stuck out to me are the fact that when krauss goes up to his door to do the whole song and dance of pretending that kinzo is in too much of a bad mood to leave his study and see the family during the conferences, he often ends these scenes with a sly smile on his face before handing kinzo off to genji or nanjo, two people who are also responsible for keeping up the charade

This is from one of the earliest scenes in chapter 1 like jesus christ. even ignoring how obvious the "my dad is already dead" line is in hindsight, those coy, knowing smiles he gives are practically screaming that this guy is putting on a show for the other siblings. but on a blind viewing, you could easily wave it off as krauss just having grown tired of trying to make the effort to get his rambling father to come out for like the 3rd family conference in a row and all he can do it laugh it off bitterly

a very similar version of this charade is shown in episode 2 as well, with yet another line with a double meaning that hints to kinzo's real fate. i honestly kind of find it amusing picturing these grown men pounding on the door to their dead father's study, yelling at a volume probably loud enough to reach the rest of the family downstairs to sell the bit even more

these lines also from episode 2 though. holy shit, ryukishi is pretty much giving the answer away here. granted, you can definitely interpret this on a first pass as natsuhi and krauss devising this plan to protect kinzo/their own interests with regards to the inheritance discussion, but the sinister and ominous undertones are there.

speaking of episode 2, it is basically a whole novel's worth of hints towards shannon and kanon's true identities, which makes sense given it's their focus episode alongside episode 6. episode 1 already plants some seeds here and there regarding kanon, what with him somehow always seeming to appear to shannon out of thin air or being described as creeping up on people silently like a cat

one of the biggest hints that most people discuss is how the detective, battler, who is supposed to have an objective view on the proceedings (at least before erika takes over in 5-6) never seems to see shannon and kanon together at the same time when he is present. what keeps up the illusion is the many other scenes sprinkled throughout that take place through other character's POVs where we are shown the two interacting together, particularly with genji and kumasawa. we aren't given any indication this early on that the narration absent of battler isn't to be trusted or is hiding details from us, i don't think until knox's rules are introduced in the answer arcs, so this is a pretty brilliant way of hiding the truth of their characters but without making it feel as if the viewer was completely lied to in hindsight

the fact that jessica is saying this to kanon of all people. oh my god. it's so painful. all of the flashback scenes of shannon and george and jessica and kanon are so sad to watch. sayo is not only struggling with the fact that she's fallen in love with another man while waiting for battler to come back, not only struggling with the realization that she's bisexual when she starts having feelings for jessica, not only struggling with the constant reminders from george that he wants to have many children and grandchildren after she finds out that she will never be able to conceive...

she's now come to a crossroads where (in this world at least) she has to decide whether or not she'll give up hope of battler ever returning and pledge herself to george, while breaking jessica's heart as kanon. and battler coming back after 6 years just throws all of that out the window

this one might just be me overthinking, but i'm curious if anyone else has a similar interpretation. these two batches of dialogue occur in the same scene, the second coming after "kanon" shows up to once again vent out "shannon's" feelings of frustration and anger towards the ushiromiyas. at first it would seem that her lamentation about wanting to be rescued continues directly from the previous string of thoughts, and that she's referring to george again. but the use of quotation marks around "him" the second time around really make me think that this must refer to battler.

the fact that she considers this a sin even moreso feels like it points to battler to me, her sin being the fact that she's still thinking of him in the first place while wanting a relationship with george. she wants to pursue these new feelings with george, but in her mind it would also be weakness on her part to give up on the promise she and battler made together by forgetting about him and moving on. she wants someone on a white horse to come save her, and the thought that this person has changed to being george is tearing her up inside. she doesn't deserve rescue from either of them, in her mind. it's so fucking sad

and the final one for now, since i've only gotten through the first two episodes for this rewatch. i remember thinking back to all the deaths from the previous chapters when faced with the challenge of figuring out who the true culprit was, and just my jaw dropping to the floor when i remembered this detail from turn of the golden witch. none of the other victims of the stakes had them fall out, they were gouged in deeply, but shannon's alone had fallen off to the side.

and of course rosa (the co-conspirator of the episode) conveniently blocks her body off before battler can examine it further and give an objective detective's view of the state of the body. if he was able to, he probably would have been able to see that the hole in shannon's forehead was made by a gunshot wound and not the stake.

not to mention kanon's body just disappearing entirely. episode 2 is where we really start to get introduced to the magic realm and its explanation of events, so it's easy to get sucked into that and go along with the whole "beatrice desecrated him after death by not even allowing him the closure of being a corpse for the rest to discover" but man, it is so crazy how well the pieces fit together once you know the truth. it was simply easier at this stage of the game for sayo to shed the kanon persona entirely so she could move more freely as shannon.

at this point, she had probably given up on battler solving the riddle in this fragment/bottle after his full on mental breakdown in the servant's room following rosa's cold accusations and lack of trust in everyone else. sayo would have planned to die by the end regardless, but this final locked room trick was probably her last ditch effort to give battler a clue as to what was happening, but again this was foiled by rosa barring him from looking closer at the crime scene

anyway that was a lot of rambling about stuff people have probably already discussed to death in the years since umineko's release. but damn i just really, really marvel at ryukishi's ability to write such an intricately written story that simultaneously had me at a loss for the solution for the majority of its runtime while also making me feel like a fucking idiot for missing all of these obvious clues the first time around, in the best kind of way. this sound novel is a masterpiece and i'm so glad i discovered it

rest in peace sayo, i have no doubt the foreshadowing during my replays of banquet and alliance of the golden witch are going to tear my heart asunder once again </3

[eddiemunsonsmum]

Recollection | Eddie Munson

Eddie Munson x Original Female Character

Summary: Eddie and Karmen are ambushed outside her house by an old friend that wants to chat about her past. Eddie learns some things he didn't know about Karmen's life and she feels obliged to explain to him in greater detail even though she is worried he will see her differently afterwards.

Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Flashbacks, Backstory, Lore, Exposition Dump, Sexist old men, (very different to sexy old men. None of those sorry.), Murder, Crime, Drugs/Drug Crime References, Fluff, Joking, Banter, Bad Puns, Dialogue Heavy.

Words: 12.9k

A/N: This story sits somewhere between Labels and Discrepancy but should be able to be read as a standalone!

Being upfront with the fact that this story is exposition heavy. We learn more about Karmen's background here than we knew previously. Hopefully it helps readers to understand a bit more about who she is and why. More BIG notes at the end.

~~

“You always pick what we watch first.” Karmen grumbled half heartedly as she turned her 70s sedan onto her street. The drag of loose rocks under the tires made her vision vibrate as she almost squinted to try and see Eddie’s expression better in her periphery.

“Excuse me?” He asked with a hand to his chest. “I…”  He began dramatically, as they pulled into her driveway. “Don’t… Have an argument for that.” He concluded, dropping his hand back to his lap and looking over to her with a sly smile as she pulled on the parking brake. “But I don’t want to watch ‘The Dancing Movie’ first.” He added quickly. “Any of the others.” He said as he held up the plastic bag that housed their weekend entertainment. “Any of them. Ghostbusters is in here!”

“It’s a feel good movie Eddie.” Karmen argued with a shrug. “Don’t you want me to feel good?” She asked with a pout as he let his head fall back against the seat.

“Jesus Christ.” He mumbled to himself as she laughed at his exasperation. Unclipping her seatbelt and slipping from the car as Eddie sat for a second and tried to decide if he wanted to fall for that line or not.

It was a good argument.

“Ugh fineeee.” He sighed, as he stepped out of the car. Exaggerating the word as he feigned defeat.

The car door thumped shut under his palm and he narrowed his eyes at her playfully from across the roof. 

“But I’m not doing the dance with you after. We’re watching Terminator.” He said seriously, rounding the vehicle as Karmen rolled her eyes and waited for him to take her hand. She’d learnt better in the last few months than to try and walk anywhere without his hand in hers.

“There’s pretty much no risk of me wanting to do the dance.” She said as he stepped in front of her and pulled her along behind him. “It’s really hard.” She added, softer. 

Implying that she had already tried it.

The plastic of the bag full of tapes crinkled as Eddie swung it by his other side excitedly.

“Yeah, definitely Terminator first.” He continued, not listening. “And Indiana Jones can wait until tomorrow if you feel good enough to let me into your Temple of Doom.” He grinned as she made a disgusted noise in response. 

“After Footloose.” She corrected firmly. “We’ll see. Let me at least get inside and kick off my Sunday shoes first.” She quipped, poking out her tongue at him as they headed towards her front steps.

“Aww, don’t cut me loose?” Eddie begged sarcastically, bringing the hand holding the bag to his chest and walking backwards towards the house so he could give her his saddest eyes.

“Surprised you got that.” Karmen admitted, unphased by his puppy dog stare.

“I listen to the radio.” Eddie shrugged. “And you insist on playing it every time we listen to music.”

“It was an expensive record.” She justified, shrugging back.

“Karmen!” A voice cut through the air suddenly, breaking them from their conversation before he could reply and turning their heads across the street. 

An old man with a plump beer gut and a grey beard waved at them from the doorstep of her friend John’s house. 

Eddie recognized him vaguely from the night he’d met Karmen. 

Santa Claus had fallen on hard times and was now making his way across the front yard towards the street that divided Karmen and John’s properties. 

Eddie looked between the man and Karmen, attention caught by her long groan. 

“Oh God.” She ground out through her fake smile. “It’s Uncle.” She sighed, holding up a hand and giving him a quick wave. “Come on let’s go inside.” She said hurriedly, grabbing Eddie’s hand and trying to pull him up the front steps to the porch. 

He whirled on the spot, trying to follow her lead but the bag holding their tapes got caught on the bannister. The old, splintered wood catching on the plastic and ripping a sizeable hole that had Family Video tapes spilling out onto the garden path and into the bushes.

Karmen grumbled in exasperation as Eddie stopped behind her and backtracked. Looking up at her apologetically as he bent down to pick them up and Uncle across the street let out a loud belly laugh at their failed escape attempt.

Eddie had done the right thing. There was no way they could have kept walking after that. Feigning not only that they didn’t hear him but that they just didn’t notice the broken bag and missing entertainment.

They were trapped.

Uncle never called her or dropped in for a visit without an agenda. The only time he ever showed his face to any of them was when he wanted something or had an opinion to give.

The fact that he had even seen her walking into her house meant that he had been lying in wait already. That even if they hadn’t missed their window to escape, he would have knocked on her door thirty seconds later anyway and he was not one to skirt around the fact that he knew what she did.

Eddie finished stacking the tapes on the bottom step beside Karmen’s feet and held his hand out for her to take, helping her down and grimacing as Uncle continued his slow shuffle towards the opposite sidewalk.

“Why do you call him Uncle?” He asked with a sigh. Resigning himself as she just had to potentially being stuck outside for hours.

“I don’t know his real name.” She answered, fake smile still on her lips. “He’s always just been Uncle. But he says before he was known as that, everyone called him Nephew.” 

Eddie snorted in response. His shoulders shook as he laughed at the bad joke while Karmen’s shook with a fake cry as she watched the old man hobble ever closer to the sidewalk and stop to wait for a car before he could cross

“I swear to God Edide, if we’re out here more than 5 minutes, The Terminator will be the only one getting his hardware checked tonight.” She hissed from the corner of her mouth. 

Eddie audibly scoffed, impressed by the joke but not wanting to show it. He hadn’t meant to break the bag. But he understood her frustration nonetheless. 

There were days where he white knuckled it all the way home to use his own bathroom simply because Sam the friendly janitor was in the same building on his way to the car. Lovely man, down to Earth and very funny. But he could talk for hours without taking a breath and Eddie only had so many Oohs and Ahhs he could give about someone else’s Grandkids before it felt weird.

“You’d better fake a medical emergency three minutes in.” Karmen added when Eddie didn’t reply. “Nothing serious though or he’ll insist on watching over my house for me while I’m with you in the hospital. The man is a vulture.”

“He can’t be that bad.” Eddie whispered back just for fun. He was already in trouble, might as well play devil's advocate. “How often do you get to have a chat with your dear old Uncle? Besides, he might not be around much longer judging by how long it’s taken him to get to this side of the street.” He murmured.

Karmen huffed a laugh. Eyes narrowing as they trailed over the hunched figure still gasping for breath inches from her lawn. 

“He’s not even my Uncle.” She hissed back, amused by the sight as he straightened up and started on the last few steps to where they were standing.

The man she’d only ever known as Uncle was not in any way, shape or form a threat to anything besides an unsuspecting refrigerator or unguarded dessert. But through years of casual conversation thrown around by adults when they thought the kid’s weren't listening, she’d gleaned that perhaps he was more than the sad old fart he was now, in his heyday. 

Karmen had a hunch that she’d never know his real name because if he let it slip out the D.E.A would be on his doorstep in an instance. Instead of using an alias to give himself a buffer, the idiot had committed his crimes using his real name. Dooming himself to simply be Uncle for the rest of his life because he was too silly to come up with a better pseudonym that sounded real. 

Not that they had to sound real. She supposed as she thought of her friend’s Father, Dutch Van der Linde and the fact that his name was actually Daniel Something. 

Definitely not Van der Linde.  

Dutch was a much better crime boss sounding name. Dutch had been to prison briefly for drug trafficking. But Daniel… Well he was just a nice old man that hosted family get togethers on the ranch he shared with his oldest and dearest friend, Hosea. 

His real name, she assumed. Considering he was a prosperous Lawyer and the reason Dutch was free to continue committing drug crimes throughout Indiana. 

Also, he was actually Dutch’s husband. 

“Jesus Christ, what’s wrong with you young people?” Uncle asked with a hearty laugh. “Don’t got legs? How about meeting me halfway?” He jested. Karmen’s stomach dropped as he leaned in and wrapped his arms around her. Pulling her into an unsolicited hug that lingered just a little too long for anyone’s comfort.  

Eddie screwed up his nose in the background. Instant regret at not just dropping the tapes and running seeping in as he watched the man squeeze her a little tighter before letting go.

They were both surprised when he didn’t kiss her on the cheek. Instead pulling away and holding out his hand for Eddie to shake. 

The younger man schooled his features quickly when he realized the focus was on him, taking the hand and nodding in greeting.

“Mooching off John now?” Karmen asked frankly, annoyance clearly in her tone as the older man turned back to her. She ignored Eddie’s surprised expression on the edge of her vision. Knowing he’d never seen her be outright rude to anyone like that before and not really caring in the moment as she tried to get the conversation over with as fast as possible. “Last I heard, Sadie kicked you out to make room for the baby.” 

“Ohhh, come off it now.” The older man replied, waving his hand in front of himself. He didn’t seem offended in the slightest. Eddie couldn’t tell if he was ignoring her hostility or genuinely didn’t hear it. He couldn’t help but think he would have shriveled up and died already if she’d ever spoken to him like that. 

“You know I got the lumbago and It’s getting harder to care for myself.” Uncle said dramatically.

Karmen hummed flatly in response. 

“It’s terminal you know?” He asked seriously when she didn’t seem concerned. 

Eddie narrowed his eyes at the statement. He didn’t know what lumbago was but he was willing to bet it was not at all serious. Especially considering the way Karmen barely held back the roll of her eyes at the words.

“Anyway an old man’s gotta eat somewhere and I figure Abigail makes the better meals outta the two of you.”

Karmen gasped at that, her mouth falling open as she scoffed at him. It was a well established fact that John’s wife Abigail was not a chef. Her meals were edible and that was about the extent of the sincere compliments she’d ever afforded her for them.

If Abi actually tried, Karmen would feel bad for the joke. But the fact that she was so brazen about not giving a fuck if food tasted good while insisting on almost weekly dinner parties made her feel justified in the contempt she held for the other woman’s cooking when it was so often compared to her own by the older crowd. 

Because they were both women. Not because the quality was anything alike. 

The blatant sexism made her blood boil. She was already half done with the conversation and it had barely started.

“You take that back Old Man or I’ll see to it that you never eat another meal again.” She retorted through a fake laugh. 

Regardless of her own feelings she still felt compelled by the way she was raised to make him comfortable. 

Despite her own discomfort.

Uncle cackled at the rise he had seemingly got out of her. He slapped her on the arm in a jovial manner. 

Eddie took a protective step closer. The action, also a product of how he was raised. His brain subconsciously taking in every small change in her demeanor and his body reacting without deliberate thought to make her feel more comfortable in any way he could. 

He had clocked her flinch even if Uncle was oblivious to it. 

“Alright, alright.” He conceded, hands up in mock surrender. “We both know you’re the better cook but I wouldn’t dare turn up on your doorstep asking for a feed.” He admitted, turning to Eddie with a serious expression and pointing towards Karmen with one very brave finger. “She ain’t generous is she?” He complained half-heartedly as Eddie frowned at the statement. 

He shuffled awkwardly under the realization that the older man was expecting him to agree. 

To join in on the joke. 

He’d never known Karmen to be anything but kind and generous… To those that deserved it.

He still wondered sometimes how he’d managed to fall into that category.

“Anyway!” The older man exclaimed suddenly when Eddie didn’t respond. Not seeming to notice the way both of their shoulders drooped as he continued. “I’ve been spending a lot of time out at that new sports bar on the edge of town and…” He paused, leaning in conspiratorially. “I got a tip for ya. Big one.” He said excitedly. 

Eddie was confused by the words. Not really understanding what he meant but definitely noticing the way Karmen’s face fell at Uncle’s admission. Her friendly mask was completely gone now, her eyes turning sharp as she answered.

“Uncle.” She said simply, a warning in her tone. But the older man didn’t seem phased, continuing as if nothing had happened by pointing at Eddie.

“Your boy’s one of Dutch’s ain’t he?” He asked, continuing without a confirmation as Karmen stonewalled him. She wasn’t doing this right now. He’d already pissed her off in the first few sentences and she’d let it go in case he actually had something important to say. Some news to give about one of her friends or maybe a reason why he was staying with John and John himself hadn’t mentioned it.

But instead he had ambled his dumb ass across the street to talk to her about something she hadn’t been a part of for a very long time. Something she had made clear time and time again that she was no longer interested in and yet the man brought it up every time he saw her like he didn’t know and every time she reminded him it was brand new information to him.

At this point she couldn’t tell if he did it on purpose or if the drink really have fucked his brain up to the point that he couldn’t remember like he used to.

“Yeah.. Yeah I remember you. Brought in by our dear Sean weren’t ya’?” The old man chuckled, pointing his liver spotted hand at Eddie’s face now.

Eddie didn't reply again, not sure how the hell Uncle could possibly remember him. The man had been blind as a bat when Eddie had arrived at the party where he’d met Karmen. He had only continued to drink throughout the night and passed out in his chair. Unceremoniously slumping onto the floor and snoring up a storm. Which, if Eddie was honest, was the only reason he remembered him. 

It was hard to forget something like that when no one else acted like it was unusual at the time.

“Uncle.” Karmen repeated, tone firm. “You know I’m not interested anymore. I’ve told you this a thousand times and I won’t have the conversation again.” She replied tiredly. Finally done with the interaction when he tried to drag Eddie into it.

“Oh come now-” Uncle began but was cut off before he could finish his thought.

“Go and tell someone else your tip! Eddie and I don’t want it!” She snapped suddenly. Eddie’s mouth fell open in surprise as she nodded at him and then flicked her head towards the house in a gesture meant to instruct him to follow her. “We don’t want to hear it.” She affirmed, softer this time. “Have a nice day Uncle.” 

The old man watched as she turned to walk away. Taking Eddie’s hand as she had done earlier and barely making it a step before he chose to speak again.

“You’re not still sour are you?” He asked simply. 

The wind knocked out of her lungs at the question coupled with the fact that when she stopped dead, Eddie ran into her back as he rushed to follow.

His hands shot out to grab at her arms, stabilizing her and stopping her from falling forwards as she stood in place for a long second.

Thinking.

Eddie let go of her slowly and watched as she turned back to the older man with the most lethal look on her face that he had ever seen. 

It wasn’t even directed at him and he wanted to shrivel up and die.

“Sour?” She asked, barely above a whisper. Taking the bait as well as a calming breath as she watched the old man nod confidently at her question. “Sour?” She asked again. This time matching his nodding and chuckling with him as she gave the buffoon one more chance to tell her he was joking.

He didn’t take it. 

Her face fell. Tongue darting out to lick at her lips as she leaned in close and raised her brows at him in a way that made Eddie feel sick.

“Would you ask John if he was still sour?” She asked quietly. “Arthur?” She questioned further. “Dutch or…” She paused, shaking her head as the old man ignored the warning in her tone for the second time.

Oh shit.

Eddie thought to himself as Uncle shrugged casually in response.

“Then don’t ask me.” Karmen said simply. A relatively amicable reaction considering the unbridled rage she felt inside at the implication that she just felt sour. That she was overreacting when the subject matter was a past event so personal to her that she hadn’t even broached the subject with Eddie yet.

Too raw for her to speak about and yet Uncle threw the topic around as casually as he would ask about the weather.

“It’s been years. You need to let it go at some point.” The old bat said with a shrug.

Karmen blinked at him repeatedly as she pursed her lips. His lead paint stare boring into her soul as she responded.

“Let it go?” She asked dangerously. “Let it go?” She asked again, tone dripping with condescension and utter disbelief. 

Eddie watched Uncle ignore her anger so blatantly. Like she wasn’t considered a threat to him. 

He would never. Could never. Even if he wanted to. 

He loved the woman but when she was mad she had a dangerous glint in her eyes that made his balls want to reascend. 

He had been feeling uneasy since the ‘friendly banter’ took a turn. Now he was on high alert. He thought he’d seen her angry in the past. But he’d never seen her get angry like this before. 

Something was really wrong here.

He was missing context.

She’d walked a few paces away from him when she’d come up on Uncle fast. He closed the distance between them quickly. Placing a hand on her back, intending to tell her it was time to go inside but Uncle spoke again before he could.

“You were the best go-between Dutch ever had.” He stated frankly, as if that was a compliment. “Still uses you as an example you know? Raves about how Miss Karmen would get the job done.” 

Karmen visibly bristled at the way he said her name.

She was not Miss Karmen. She was just Karmen. Kam for short because Karmie took too long and was hard for kids to say.

But Miss Karmen had sparked a memory in Eddie’s head. Reminding him of when she had said it to him.

He had been surprised to learn she’d stretched the truth on the night they met. He’d ask if she worked for Dutch and she’d replied ‘Hell no. I work for John’

While technically not a lie as at the time she wasn’t working under Dutch, it wasn’t entirely truthful either as she had later revealed that she used to.

She had worked for him while she was putting herself through College. 

She’d made a comment in the first few weeks he’d known her about Eddie not needing to deal drugs. How he could get by without the extra income if she helped him find better work. He didn’t need to meet with Dutch and find a new supplier. She’d even offered to convince John to hire him in some capacity which in retrospect was very sweet. 

Especially considering that he had laughed about it. Accusing her of being a goody-two-shoes and teasing her about being embarrassed to be seen with the ‘Town Drug Dealer’. 

Again, reviewing the interaction, Eddie felt gross about it. He had prickled at the inference that she didn’t approve and his gut reaction was playful mocking to keep the bitter feelings of being critiqued at bay.

She had taken it well though. Clarifying that she wasn’t judging him and explaining that she was no better when she was his age.

She had worked in the drug trade straight out of High School to earn her cash. She was paid a percent of each deal she brokered.

But even though she was never caught out by the police, it had ended badly. 

She hadn’t elaborated and he hadn’t asked. Sensing that perhaps the topic was a bit heavy for the earlier stages of their relationship. But he had understood a little better why she hadn’t immediately set up a meeting with Dutch for him after the night they met.

Because she cared.

From what he could gather after meeting the man, she had also lied about Dutch’s criminal involvement. But that one, he understood immediately. If they went around telling everyone random man that they had a drink with about the kind of things Dutch was involved in… 

Well he would still be in Prison.

Like Rick.

Who as it turns out was encroaching on Dutch’s territory with his little backyard business. Eddie liked Rick as a person but he had no loyalty to him as a supplier. He was surprised to learn that he had been arrested in the first place. 

Jim Hopper, the Chief of Hawkins PD was a regular customer of Eddie’s and he wasn’t stupid even though he played it sometimes. He knew where Eddie got his weed. He wasn’t a stranger to Rick’s waterfront abode.

Eddie had suspected that someone a lot more powerful than Hopper was actually pulling the strings behind the scenes on the small town Indiana drug trade.

Turns out he was right. Not only was Dutch the mastermind behind Rick’s arrest but his ‘best friend’ Hosea was the lawyer that had sent Rick away.

There had been a lot of revelations early on in his relationship with Karmen. A lot of backstory in his own life that he otherwise would not have known about. 

So the lingering question about what had happened in Karmen’s life that had made her want to quit, had left his mind quite quickly if he was honest.

He’d pretty much forgotten about it by this point. It had only been brought up that one time and she seemed a far cry from someone that was playing the criminal game these days so he hadn’t been reminded of it again.

He supposed he’d always assumed that if how that part of her life came to a close was important, she’d tell him when she was ready. It wasn’t his place to pry. Lord knows he had his share of  ‘it ended badly’ stories that he wasn’t quite ready to tell yet either.

“I don’t do that anymore!” Karmen shouted, taking a step away from Eddie’s hand and pointing her finger in the old man’s face. “I’m just some dumb girl that barely understands the game and makes bad decisions.” She growled. “Isn’t that what they said at the funeral?” She asked rhetorically.

Funeral?

Eddie asked himself, unable to help the raise of his brow at the word. His curiosity piqued. 

Maybe it had ended a little more badly than most of his stories…

Uncle cocked his head in a somewhat sage manner as his eyes flicked between hers. A knowing frown, further wrinkling his older features as he stared her down with the air of someone that had seen it all before.

“Them people would complain about a cheque for a million dollars if it were too heavy. Don’t listen to ’em.” He said with a dismissive wave. “It weren’t your fault and Dutch had never blamed ‘ya.” 

His tone was calm and the words were uncomplicated. A statement from a wise man that simply didn’t care about whatever it was that Karmen was so upset about. A man that didn’t give a shit about maintaining interpersonal relationships beyond what they could give him.

“It was my fault!” Karmen shouted. Eddie jolted while Uncle didn’t blink. Her tone was harsh and biting. It surprised him but Uncle seemed to be expecting it. “It was my bad judgment. It was my fault!” She reiterated, a sharpened fingernail less than an inch from a flushed drinker’s nose. 

“Davey made his own choices.” Uncle said calmly, still unfazed by her demeanor. “He was an adult. You-”

“Killed him?” Karmen spat, forcing out the words and cutting him off with more venom than Eddie had ever heard in her tone before. His eyes widening at the statement. 

The words hung in the air. Eddie’s stomach suddenly felt as though it was full of lead at the implication. His eyes roaming over what he could see of her face and taking in her pinched features. The sharpness of her eyes was contrasted so crisply by the tears welling in them. The purse of her lips. Flared nostrils that were loudly huffing in calming breaths in the sudden quiet of the street. 

They needed to get away from this man.

“Hey-” He began as he reached for her again. His hand brushed her shoulder as she lurched even closer to the older man. Continuing to let out her feelings as Eddie watched helplessly from the sidelines.

“Davey will be dead forever!” She cried, the crack in her voice tugging at Eddie’s heart. He’d never heard her cry before. Not properly. “So I will. Keep on this. Forever.” She said firmly, breaking her last statement into fragmented sentences as she enunciated her point.

She stood between the two men dauntlessly. Even Uncle towered over her although he was a lot shorter than Eddie. But suddenly it didn’t seem that way, with Karmen holding herself so confidently. Chest to chest with the older man and staring him down as Eddie found himself frozen to the spot.

To his continued surprise, the older man’s eyes softened significantly. A melancholy sort of smile pulling at his lips.

It made him feel sick.

“I miss him too.” He said suddenly. Nodding in understanding as Karmen’s lip began to tremble and she shook her head at the words, jaw set as she continued to breath heavy breaths in the small space between them.

She blinked at him, swallowing thickly before letting the air out of her lungs in one, long, shaky breath. Deflating along with it. 

“No.” She whispered. “You don’t get to say that. You don’t get to just… Just turn up here and try and drag me back into something I don’t want any part of and then just…” She paused. “Talk about him like you loved him.” She hissed. “Like you cared.”

Her hands were clenched in fists by her side as she let out a growl of frustration. Anger and sadness boiled over as she finally turned away from the old man and looked up at Eddie with wet eyes. 

He was taken aback by the unveiled sadness he saw in them.

Grief.

He knew it too well.

She stepped towards him, collapsing into his arms. He caught her as she fell against him, wrapping his arms tight around her and holding her to his chest as she let forth a broken sob that made him want to fight every demon she’d ever dealt with hand to hand.

There was a dense silence between the three of them as Karmen shook in his embrace. Pressing her face into his pecs and sniffing softly as she tried so hard to pretend like she wasn’t crying. 

Uncle moved first, placing a heavy hand on her shoulder. Eddie held firm against every urge in his body telling him to jerk her out of his reach. To turn away and pull her with him so that the other man couldn’t touch her. 

But he didn’t want to hurt her and the speed at which he would have had to move certainly would have done so. 

So instead he snarled quietly as the old man gave her shoulder a squeeze. Glaring daggers as Uncle looked pensive for a moment before taking in the dangerous expression on Eddie’s face.

“Probably best I don’t give ya’ the tip.” He chuckled awkwardly. Eddie had forgotten all about it. The reminder frustrated him as the other man continued. “Nothing personal.” He added, gesturing with his head to Karmen and cringing as he tugged on the collar of his shirt in an exaggerated manner.

Eddie further narrowed his eyes at the older man. The inference that she was being dramatic in this moment almost agitated him to the point of violence. 

Karmen wasn’t a dramatic person in everyday life. She liked to play around but she didn’t blow shit out of proportion for no reason. She didn’t start fights out of nothing and she certainly didn’t burst into tears out of the blue.

“You should go.” Eddie said tersely as he stared pointedly at the older man. Uncle nodded in understanding. Wisely removing his hand from Karmen’s shoulder as Eddie clenched his jaw, teeth squeaking under the pressure. 

“Sorry Kam.” He sighed, actually sounding sincere. “Didn’t mean to upset ya.” 

Karmen peeled a hand away from Eddie’s body. Waving the old man off without moving her face from her Love’s chest. Her hand coming back to grasp him for purchase as Eddie continued to hold her to him protectively.

She was still catering to him and she hated it. But she couldn’t stop. Not wanting to seem even ruder than she already had in front of Eddie. Completely unaware from her place in his chest that the man holding her was one word away from jumping the old man and pushing him into traffic.

Eddie stared at Uncle over the top of Karmen’s head, nodding towards John’s house in a final warning and watching as he finally heeded it and took his leave. He hobbled back toward the road. Stopping at the edge of the sidewalk, still comically close to them as he waited again for a car to pass.

Eddie closed his eyes, pursing his lips and holding back the urge to shout before the road became clear and the man scurried across it like a rat.

He couldn’t help but feel as though the other man did mean to upset her and he couldn’t understand why.

In the name of tough love? What was the point?

Was he really so senile that he’d forgotten she was out of the game? Had he really wanted to give her a tip or was his intention to stir the pot because he was bored? Force the past on her in the name of healing or maybe for some sort of sick revenge against her not wanting to feed him?

Maybe Eddie was just being overprotective. He would need to look into it later. When Karmen didn’t need him to actually be present and grounding.

He didn’t know who Davey was but he had heard him mentioned a lot.

Usually during conversations he wasn’t a part of. Listening idly from the sidelines when Karmen was speaking with her friends. They spent a lot of time together and he was often around when she saw her loved ones.

But he did try to give her space. Didn’t like to impose or insert himself into her conversations if he wasn’t directly spoken to. 

He was just happy to listen and apathetically consume some of the worst food he’d ever eaten at the Marston’s weekly dinner party.

He hadn’t noticed until he thought back on it now that Davey was always referred to in a past tense. He figured that perhaps the man had moved away or they had simply grown apart and that was why he’d never met him. He didn’t realize that he had potentially died or maybe he would have asked about it sooner.

Unless he’d misunderstood without the context.

But at the same time he wondered if he had known, if maybe he would have just left it alone anyway. Not that he wasn’t interested or didn’t care. Just that again, he had his own traumas that were best left untapped and he was always so glad Karmen never pried when they came up accidentally. 

“Hey, hey…” He cooed, looking down at her and trying to angle himself in a way that he could see her face. She turned away from him, a hand coming up to wipe at her eyes as she took in a hitched breath he recognized a little too intimately. Reminding him of the kind of wracking sobs that accompanied the panic attacks he’d suffered during childhood. “Come on. Come inside.” He directed her softly. His hands sliding from her back up to her shoulders. He gently pried her away from him and wrapped one strong arm around her waist as he guided her to the house.

Their shoes scraped on the worn front steps. The old wood creaking under the new weight as they ascended them and threatened to topple the tower of VHS tapes Eddie had left on the bottom one. 

They reached the front door and Eddie fished his key from his pocket to let them in. He nudgede her inside before ducking back out for the tapes. Taking the small amount of steps three at a time to get back to her within seconds. He turned to close the door and she seemed to come back to herself as they both entered her safe space.

“God, I’m sorry.” She said suddenly, scrubbing at her face as he locked the door behind them. “That must have been so confusing, I’m really sorry.” She apologized again, covering her mouth with her hands and feeling like she was going to be sick as the entire interaction played back in her head from Eddie’s perspective.

“No, don’t apologize.” He assured her quickly. “It’s okay, I understand.” 

Karmen turned, beginning to walk towards the kitchen and Eddie rushed to be by her side. Trailing her as she stopped at the counter. Placing her hands on it and leaning heavily for a few seconds.

He placed the Family Video tapes down on the bench beside her as she looked up at him. Her expression was tired this time. Her eyes red rimmed and her resolve to pretend she hadn’t been crying, gone. 

Eddie fumbled around under her gaze and tried to fix things that couldn’t be mended, with words. 

He could tell she was mortified and wanted to let her know that he wasn’t judging her. But even their deeper conversations up until this point had never reached such a dark place.  

He knew words couldn’t fix it and even if they could, he didn’t have the right ones but he wanted to try anyway. To do or say anything he had to, to stop her from looking at him like that. With such sorrow and shame.

“I mean… obviously I don’t know, like exactly how you feel. I don’t um…” he paused, scratching at the back of his neck. “I’ve never…” he tried again, grimacing as he trailed off once more.

“Gotten someone killed?” She asked. Filling the silence with the words Eddie was trying so desperately not to say.

“Been in that… Specific… Situation.” He corrected, making her huff out a broken laugh at the effort.

“It’s okay. I don’t expect you to understand. I’m just sorry it came out like that.” She said with a shake of the head.

She turned so she could lean her back against the counter. Crossing her arms and chewing on her cheek as she thought.

“It’s okay, really.” Eddie said after a moment of silence, taking a step closer and wringing his hands together unconsciously as he tried to assess her mood with the skill that had been useful earlier. 

The one he’d been forced to learn in childhood. 

Volatile parents kept him on edge. Made it his job to regulate them. He always needed to know who was cranky and why to be able to avoid blow out arguments that turned violent in the blink of an eye.

Karmen didn’t seem like she was going to turn violent.

Instead she seemed broken in a way he understood. Like it had been a few years since she was shattered but now the grout that glued her back together was cracking away and it was time for her to come apart again before she could be put back together for real.

“Cats out of the bag.” Karmen said without much emotion. “I’m a murderer.” She shrugged. Pressing her lips together and staring straight ahead. She didn’t know how else to say it. It was how she felt every time she thought about it.

About him.

“Uh…” Eddie hesitated. He had no idea at all how to navigate this territory. Hell he was surprised he bumbled through their day to day interactions without being asked to leave. He had no chance at something as delicate at this. 

“It… U-um.” He stuttered. “Doesn’t sound l-like…” He paused, clearing his throat. “Like that’s the case.” He replied diplomatically, after a few seconds of thought. Leaving room for her to speak and try to change his mind. But even if she chose not to, he couldn’t believe for even a second that she could purposefully end someone’s life.

There was a huge difference between deciding someone should die by your hand and accidentally making a decision that inadvertently hurt someone. 

It sounded like the latter had happened and he refused to let her believe they were the same thing.

“I was planning on telling you at some point…” Karmen continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “But as you can see the emotions are still quite raw.” Her voice cracked as she spoke. “I don’t talk about it a lot and when I do…” She trailed off again, gesturing with her whole hand at her face as it screwed up with emotion and she took in another shuttered breath. Her hand covering her eyes as Eddie watched sadly and tried to decide if he should move closer.

“I understand.” He said earnestly, urging her to truly see how thoroughly he understood. How agonizingly similar they were in the way they held out onto their pasts. Kept their traumas close to the heart. Scared to actually speak on them due to the way they had been mistreated by others for it.

“I guess I have to explain now or you’ll just think the worst of me.” She said in a tone that again Eddie recognised, from his own life. A cross between pleading for someone to listen and also not actually wanting to speak. 

The strong urge to explain himself clawing at his chest but his mouth betraying him, refusing to justify his actions.

“Never.” He said simply, pouring as much sincerity into his tone as he could and watching with his own watery eyes as she nodded through his word. “You don’t have to tell me.” He said softly, watching as she shook her head in response. A sigh that came from deep within slumping her shoulders.

“Davey was my friend.” She said quietly, pausing to hold back another wave of emotion as Eddie took the opportunity to cut her off.

“Kam, really, you don’t have to tell me.” He assured her, drawing closer and placing gentle hands on her folded forearms. “Save it for when you’re ready. I’m not going anywhere unless you want me to.” He said in a way he hoped sounded comforting and not needy for her affirmation that she wanted him around.

“No, I do. I…” She sniffed resolutely. “Just, let me?” She asked. “If you want to hear it?” She added as an afterthought. The fact that Eddie simply might not be interested hadn’t crossed her mind until that point. 

If she was him, curiosity would be eating her alive.

She didn’t see a reality for herself where he could confess that he might have killed someone and she wouldn’t have thousands of follow up questions that she needed answers to immediately. 

But then again if Eddie had taught her anything in their small amount of time they had already shared, it was patience. 

Maybe he really didn’t need to know. That didn’t mean that he didn’t want to know. They weren’t one in the same. 

Being able to defer his curiosity until a more ideal time, didn’t automatically mean that he didn’t care.

Eddie took a second to think. Not about whether he wanted to hear it but if it was right for him to enable her in this vulnerable moment. If he should tell her that he didn’t want to hear it just to let her keep her secrets until she was actually ready to tell them.

“Okay.” He said simply. Deciding that ultimately he would rather listen before she was ready than have her think he didn’t care.

“Okay.” She agreed, swallowing against the dryness of her throat as Eddie nodded, resigning himself to listen to a story he knew deep down she did not want to tell.

“So I used to work for Dutch... I think I told you that.”

She had told him that. 

“I think I was technically a dealer but I never actually attended any of the deals. I wasn’t allowed to go because it was ‘too dangerous’.” She rolled her eyes, putting bunny ears around the words. “Only time I’ve ever been grateful that those sexist old fucks didn’t think I could do what they could.” She admitted. “They were right. But it was dangerous because it was bloody dangerous, not because I’m a woman.” She clarified.

Eddie nodded once, lips pressed together in a thin line as he took a step towards her. He knew what it was like to be treated as ‘less than’ by his superiors and his peers. But not because of his gender or because they thought he couldn’t do what they did. 

It was simply because he was a Munson. 

A Freak.

He didn’t think it was the same but he was sure it hurt in the same way.

“I guess I was kind of more like a messenger.” Karmen continued. “The guys would find people looking to buy and they would give them my number. I just set up a… ‘meeting’ between two people that had never met before.” She said with a shrug. The implication that she was too innocent to know exactly what she was doing was just to add dramatics to the retelling.

Eddie sniffed at that, reaching out a hand as he came up beside her. Leaning on the counter and swinging it over her shoulder as she pushed away from the bench, leaving him to stumble in her absence as she continued her story, deep in thought and not even noticing he had tried to hold her.

“Plausible deniability and all that.” She said, moving towards the front door and turning around again to pace back towards him. “Sometimes people like you would come in and want to meet Dutch and I would chat to them to try and figure out if they were legit.” She explained, pointing at Eddie with one hand sticking out from her folded arms before she turned again, heading back towards the front door and Eddie took a step away from the counter to try and follow her.

“Sometimes I’d have a regular client call me and say they wanted to buy and I’d tell them where to go. I got a percentage of all the deals I brokered just for answering the phone. It was…” She paused, looking up and staring out through the pane of glass in her front door. Blinking a few times as her arms fell to her side. “Easy.” She said softly as Eddie caught up to her. Trying to place a hand on her shoulder for the second time and missing his target again as she took a step forward and turned towards the living room. 

“It was so easy!” She repeated, throwing her arms up for emphasis. “All I had to do was answer the phone.” She said incredulously, stopping her pacing at the back of the couch. The money was pretty damn good too.” She added. “Compared to like, waitressing or something. I just had to keep a calendar. I could stay home and study and make money without really even thinking about it.” 

She turned back to the kitchen from her place near the living room. Looking around quickly before she spied Eddie still standing near the front door. She tilted her head at him, wondering when he had moved as he stared at her from across the room. 

His eyes flicked to the side as he waited for her to continue. Eventually nodding at her, rolling his hand to encourage her when he realized she was waiting for him to speak. She frowned at him, but continued anyway, heading back towards him as she spoke. 

“That was the problem though.” She explained, a sigh leaving her lips as she stopped in front of him, looking melancholic. “I wasn’t really thinking about it. I had my little calendar and my friend’s class schedules. I had all the time in the world to sit around and think but when it came down to it, all I was really thinking about was myself.” She said bitterly, her arms going back to being crossed over her front as she almost held herself protectively. Like she was trying to shield herself from what came next.

“Davey and Mac. I don’t think you’ve met Mac.” She said after a moment as Eddie took the second she paused to think about what she’d said. 

He hadn’t met Mac.

“They’re brothers. Their family moved here when we were starting middle school. Mac is older but Davey was our age.” She began again, referring to her and her friend John. Eddie didn’t miss the fact that she again referred to Davey in past tense. His tongue darted out to lick at his lips. He hadn’t misunderstood earlier. This story was going exactly where he thought it was.

“He was… One of my closest friends.” Karmen nodded, only a few inches from Eddie but staring right through his chest as she spoke. As if he wasn’t even there. “Pretty much…” She paused again, clearing her throat and seeming irritated that she couldn’t just keep speaking like she wanted to without her voice cracking. “Pretty much on par with John you know?” She asked rhetorically. “But John had the advantage of knowing me longer and living closer.”

Eddie nodded again, not sure what else to do bar showing her that he was listening. He wasn’t sure if she even noticed to be honest. The blank stare on her face was unnerving. The way she was looking through him. He knew she was deep in a memory. Narrating it as she watched it happen right in front of her eyes. 

He wasn’t sure she could even see him right now.

“He called me one night with a tip he’d heard at some bar and he asked what I thought about it.” She whispered. “He was all like ‘do you think it’s legit?” She deepened her voice, imitating her friend’s American accent and making Eddie smile sadly. “I asked around and got the guy’s number, can you suss it out for me?” She continued to imitate him. “And I said… Sure.” She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. Nose scrunching as she tried to hold back the watering of her eyes but they stung so badly.

Eddie stared down at her, his own eyes watering along with hers involuntarily.

She turned away from him quickly. Taking a deep breath and willing herself out of the memory for a long second before she could find it in herself to continue.

She walked aimlessly towards the kitchen again. Heading to the fridge and pulling it open out of pure habit. She couldn’t tell if it was the urge to have something to do with her hands or the desperate need to eat something to make the sadness go away that drove her. But she reached into the refrigerator anyway. Pulling out a family sized bottle of soda and filling the silent room with the sound of hissing as she removed the cap.

“But I didn’t…” She said bluntly before taking a long swig of the drink. Pulling it away from her lips and holding back a soda burp that threatened to fizzle out her nose as she turned to Eddie with a shrug. “I mean I did.” She clarified. “I called the guy and we talked for a bit about the most mundane shit.” She laughed, a hollow sound that was backed by the scraping of plastic as she screwed the bottle cap back on. “He asked me about my favorite show and what I was studying and obviously I lied.” She explained, placing the drink back in the fridge door. “But I remember thinking that he seemed so overly friendly. Like, maybe he was trying to flirt or something.” She said as she closed the fridge and turned back to Eddie. Leaning her forearms heavily on the counter as she narrowed her eyes at the memory. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to talk to him too long because Alec…��� She trailed off, rolling her eyes and wondering if she even needed to say it.

She had touched on how her ex had treated her with Eddie a bit in the past. But she had never really gone into detail about the kind of asshole that he was. Just the fact that he was, in fact, an asshole. One that she loved very much despite knowing he was treating her wrong.

One that she had tried very hard to please in the hopes that she would prove herself worthy of his full attention. 

Eddie had a hunch that Alec didn’t like her job very much and she probably heard about it frequently.

“I-I get it.” Eddie stuttered out from his place by the door. His hands were in front of his stomach and he was fiddling with his rings as she looked up at him. He didn’t want her to have to say it. He understood what kind of guy he was from the context he’d been given already.

Not that he didn’t want to hear it if she wanted to talk about it. But he got the sense that it was tangential to the main point of her story and to go off on that side quest would take her away from what she actually wanted to tell him for long enough that she might change her mind and leave him with only half the story.

Kam nodded, grateful that she hadn’t needed to elaborate.

“I just got a weird vibe.” She elaborated. “But I didn’t take it seriously and I don’t think I’ll ever regret anything more in my life.” She added, voice small again as Eddie took a few steps towards her to be able to hear better.

“He wanted to meet at a place that was just about on the border of Dutch’s territory. It wasn’t over the line though. He was willing to come into ours so I thought he must be traveling and didn’t want to come too far into town if he didn't have to.” She said. “I didn’t stop to consider that Davey had met this guy further into town. Which is why I now overthink everything that I possibly can.” She chuckled sadly. “Making sure I’m always one step ahead and not letting any crap slip by me…” She said, swinging her arm to add a little extra sarcastic flare.

“Anyway, I sent Davey out and the guy didn’t even show up.” She summarized with a shrug of her shoulders. A surprise to Eddie as she pushed herself away from the counter and headed towards the living room. 

He watched her go. 

That had not been where he thought the story would end. He felt as though there was still more to come so he followed as she moved. Grateful when she slipped between the couch and the coffee table to slump down on the cushions. Leaving room beside her for him to sit as she pulled her legs up to sit with them crossed. Her hands wrung together anxiously in her lap as she sunk into the back of the couch. The weight of Eddie sitting down beside her jostling her body around as she turned to him. Face pale, eyes sad.

“I got a call from a payphone about an hour after the meeting time.” She proceeded. “It was Davey, obviously. Calling to ask me if I’d heard from the guy.” She paused, her voice trembling as Eddie inched towards her. A warm hand grounding her as he placed it on her thigh. “He said he’d been waiting but couldn’t really loiter anymore without making it obvious. So he’d asked someone where the nearest phone was and walked to it to call me and find out if he’d fuck up his calander or if I’d fucked up mine or… If the guy was just a no show.” She exhaled shakily. 

Gritting her teeth together, heart hammering in her chest as her vision became blurry, mouth filling with saliva as the sick feeling in her stomach returned. Her blood felt cold, body too hot as she relived the moment.

“It happened so fast.” She whispered. Eddie’s hand tightening on her leg as his own heart thumped wildly in his throat.

“I heard the shot through the phone and …” She stopped, swallowing loudly. “I knew.” She croaked. “I knew. It was so fucking loud, Eddie.” She breathed, tears overflowing. “I heard him hit the ground.” She gasped out, looking up at him as he removed his hand from her thigh and instead wrapped both his arms around her. Pulling her to his chest and holding her there for a long moment. She trembled in his tight grasp. His lips brushed against her curls as he whispered to her broken words about how she didn’t have to keep telling him. How he had heard enough, it was okay, he understood.

But she shook her head at him, her hair catching in his lips as she pulled away. Huffing out a miserable sounding laugh at the sight of him obscured by her curls stuck to his mouth and wet cheeks.

Eddie brushed them away quickly. The pads of his fingers then ran along her own forehead and cheeks as he pushed her hair out of her face too and she looked up at him with appreciative eyes.

“I went straight over there.” She began again, feeling a little lighter now that the hardest part of the story was out of her mouth. “Because…” She paused. “I don’t know. Because I don’t value my own safety I guess.” She tutted. “I drove across town and by the time I got there the cops were already there. It was all roped off but they hadn’t covered him because it wasn’t Davey anymore, it was a crime scene and they wouldn’t let me go to him.” 

“Oh.” Eddie breathed, barely a word as he imagined how hard that would be. How much it would hurt to see your loved one slumped over on the side of the road and not be allowed to go to them. To touch them. Hug them. Tell them you love them.

That you’re sorry.

“I’m pretty sure I kicked Hopper in the balls.” Karmen added. Eddie snorted, covering his mouth and feeling guilty. But the small smile on her face told him that laughing was the right thing to do at her sad attempt at humor. “At least I think it was him.” She clarified. “Some guy three heads taller than me was trying to carry me away and I was not having it.” She chuckled dryly. “But that’s really all I remember until the next day. I guess I blacked out whatever happened next… Yet my brain will not let me forget what my friend looked like lying in a pool of his own fucking blood.” She said wryly. “I have to remember that every time I think about him.” She added bitterly as Eddie gave her an empathetic look when she caught his eye again.

“Babe…” He whispered, his hands rubbing up and down her biceps as he struggled with words. “I… I don’t know what to say.” He admitted softly. Biting at his lip and squinting at nothing before he continued. “I want to… To say something. But I-I don’t…”

“It’s okay.” She assured him. “You don’t have to say anything.” 

“I’m sorry.” He decided on quickly. Not wanting to leave it as he had.

“Thanks.” She replied simply. Swallowing against the saliva that refused to stop pooling in her mouth as she said. “I miss him.” 

“Yeah.” Eddie agreed, not really knowing how else to let her know he understood at least in some capacity.

“Mac drinks a lot now…” Kam said after a moment of comfortable silence. “He shows up here sometimes, drunk out of his mind and wanting to just… chat about Davey and how amazing he was.” She sighed. “Hasn’t done it in a long time though and I hoped it was because he was healing but honestly I think someone just finally told him how hard I blame myself for everything.” She rolled her eyes, looking off towards the TV as Eddie furrowed his brows.

“He didn’t know?” He asked. Watching as her eyes flicked back towards him.

“He did. But, he never blamed me. So I guess it was hard for him to really see how hard I blamed myself.” She elaborated. “He says Davey should have known better and… I guess he should have but so should I, you know?” She asked, continuing before Eddie could answer. “I feel like, when Mac drinks himself to death that’ll be on my conscience too.”

Eddie opened his mouth to protest, closing it again when she continued to speak.

“I’m not really sure if anyone truly blames me, other than me but… Some things were said at the funeral.” 

Eddie hummed at that, tilting his head as she looked up at him with a questioning gaze.

“In my experience, funerals aren’t exactly the place for rational thinking.” He commented frankly.

“I know.” She agreed. “Still kicked me when I was down though.” 

“I bet.” He sighed. “How long ago did this all happen?” He asked, thinking back on what she’d said and trying to work out if she’d told him already or not.

“Early ‘83.” She answered as Eddie whispered in response.

“Shit..” He whispered. “Not long ago then.”

“Nope. But, you wouldn’t believe how much I’ve changed since then.” She said bitterly. “I owe a lot of that to Davey and… Another person I’m really not ready to talk about.” She said cryptically. Piquing Eddie’s interest despite the fact that he managed to keep his face neutral.

“I understand.” He said simply, not wanting her to feel obliged to talk about them as well. 

Whoever they were.

“They made me realize that life is short and most of the time it’s shit. So, I had to do what I could to make it, not shit anymore.” She explained, a small smile on her face as she clasped her hands together in her lap and screwed up her face at him. “So I did that cliche thing where I quit my shitty job and blew through my savings trying to figure out what I actually wanted in life.” She laughed, making Eddie smile.

“How ‘feel good movie’ of you.” He said humorously, watching a flush rise on her cheeks as she batted a hand gently against his chest. “So what did you figure out?” He asked frankly.

“That everytime I ever thought to myself ‘If I didn’t have to work right now I could be writing my book’ I was lying to myself.” She smirked. “Turns out when you have all the time in the world to do something it’s harder to start. I need a deadline or I don’t finish things.” 

“Mm.” Eddie agreed with a nod. “You see why I need to graduate this year right?”

“I do.” She answered hastily, the same empathetic expression he’d given her now on her face as she nodded back at him. “Anyway it turns out in the end that I just really wanted to be happy and have my loved ones be happy.” Which is why I only made John grovel a little bit when he came over here and legitimately begged me to go back to my shitty job.” She concluded, holding up a hand and pinching her fingers together to emphasize how little.

“The Nanny job?” Eddie asked, thinking back on what she’d told him of her past.

She had mentioned before that she’d quit her job to write her novel. But shortly afterwards she’d run out of money and when John was looking for a Nanny to give Abigail a break she had joked that perhaps he should just start paying her for all the babysitting she did for free.

He had agreed and she had found herself looking after a toddler several long days a week while trying to be creative in between watching Play School and trips to the park. She enjoyed spending time with Jack but she had run herself into the ground for little pay and ultimately she was no happier than when she had been working at Marston Construction.

“Ha. No, this was after the Nanny job.” Kam chortled. “Apparently watching John’s kid 24/7 instead of writing my book wasn’t helping him enough.” She said scandalously. “So I went back to the job I’m doing now not long before I met you.” She rolled her eyes. “He did promise me an Intern to take the stress off my workload but I never got it. It’s the thought that counts though right?”

Eddie rolled his eyes along with her, shaking his head at the audacity of the man she called her best friend.

“Did he like, get on his knees when he begged?” He asked quietly, curiosity getting the best of him as he smirked at the thought of John, knees in the dirt, begging Karmen to come back to help him save his business.

“After I told him to, yeah.” She answered bluntly as Eddie gawked in surprise.

“For real?” He asked, eyes wide.

“It’s a shitty job Ed.” She said flatly as if that was all the justification she should need for literally making a man beg.

Eddie huffed out a breath, licking at his lips as Karmen turned away from him. Settling her back against the couch cushions once more and resting her elbows on her knees before letting her face fall into her palms.

“Does it make you see me differently?” She asked hesitantly, closing her eyes as he snapped himself out of his depraved thoughts. Chastising himself internally for letting his mind wander and his body get excited at the thought of Karmen forcing a man onto his knees when they were in the middle of such a serious conversation.

Karmen braced herself for the answer to her question despite Eddie’s demeanor being nothing but kind and supportive since before she’d started telling him her story. 

“Are you kidding?” Eddie asked softly, leaning into her personal space and invading her hiding place to force her to look him in the eyes before he spoke. “Of course not.” He assured her. “Well, not in a bad way anyway.” He whispered firmly. “What kind of despicable person would see you in a bad light after you told them something so deeply personal?” He asked with a frown. “If anything, I’m honored to be someone you trust enough to show me this part of yourself.” He said quietly, sincerity dripping from his tone.

Karmen sniffed softly, a small smile creeping onto her lips as she blinked through fresh tears.

“Okay, now you’re laying it on a little thick.” She chuckled, the light not reaching her eyes as she left a lingering question in the air. 

Was he serious or just saying what he thought she would want to hear?

“No, really.” Eddie said seriously, inching even closer to her and gently prying one of her arms away from her face.

She sat up to avoid falling forwards without one of her supports. Crossing her arms over her chest defensively once more as Eddie thought about how to say what he wanted to get out. 

“I um.” It was his turn to pause. “I have a lot of um… stories.” He admitted softly. “I’m not really ready to talk about them at the moment because like you, I try really hard not to think about it.” He said with an apologetic smile. “But I’m pretty sure I can’t keep them down forever and…”He paused again, swallowing against emotion he didn’t want rising up in this inappropriate moment. 

“Even though obviously, If I could, I would take your pain away in a heartbeat. It’s almost nice to know that you have your own shit going on so I don’t feel so alone in mine…” He concluded, looking away for a long second after he spoke and then turning back to her with a regretful look on his face. “Fuck, that was conceited. I’m sorry.” He said swiftly, not wanting her to think he was making it about him. But Karmen shook her head in response.

“No, it’s fine. I get it. I… I agree.” She smiled, a little more earnestly as she nodded at the thought. “It’s nice to know I’m not alone in my pain even if the root of it is different.” She mumbled. “But obviously, it’s sad to know you have pain as well.” She added as Eddie shrugged, trying to play it off. 

“Your pain is important right now.” He told her softly, a hand coming up to wipe at the fresh tears on her face. The metal of his rings gathered the wetness and he made a funny face as he brought his hand back to his chest to wipe at his shirt for the sake of comedy, making Karmen chuckle lightly.

He never was really good with talking seriously for too long, even if he did care deeply about the subject. He was a bard by everything but trade and loved to make her smile. Pulling faces and making jokes was his way of healing things. 

“You don’t have to talk any more about it if you want to move on… I can order us pizza and we can watch ‘The Dancing Movie” Eddie began, slowly. His hand back on her cheek as he looked deeply into her eyes and promised her without words that he was serious. “But, if you want to tell me, I’d love to hear more about Davey.”

Karmen smiled meekly at that. The sparkle not reaching her eyes as she turned away. Staring at the ground and answering him without saying it directly.

“I don’t want to watch ‘The Dancing Movie’ anymore.” She murmured. Giving him the hint that she didn’t really want to tell more stories about Davey either.

“Okay.” Eddie agreed, tone soft.

“I want to watch Indy.” She said suddenly, not looking up.

“Okay, we can do that.” Eddie said with a nod.

“Raiders.” She clarified as Eddie groaned under his breath.

“Baby we didn’t get that one.” He said sadly. “We got Temple of Doom remember?”

Karmen hummed, pointing towards the armoire that housed her movie and music collection.

“I have it.” She explained. “It was Davey’s. His favorite.”

“Raiders it is.” Eddie said quickly, slapping his knees as he pushed himself up to stand. “Then Footloose?” He asked as he headed for the pile of tapes he’d left on the counter. Intending to bring them into the living room so they could order them by how they wanted to watch them after he pulled Raiders from the cabinet.

“Maybe.” She answered, voice small. Eddie slowed to a stop in front of the counter. Turning back to look at her and feeling a wave of sadness wash over him as watched her glare at the ground.

She had been so excited to watch ‘The Dancing Movie’ and in retrospect he had been a dick about it. Even if they were just playing. The fact that she had been torn down so hard by the afternoon that she didn’t even want to entertain the idea of the movie anymore had him feeling melancholic.

He needed to do something to cheer her up and somehow he didn’t think watching her late friend’s copy of his favorite movie was the right action to achieve cheeriness.

He thought for a second, a lightbulb going off in his brain.

“I have an idea.” He said suddenly, walking back towards the living room without a VHS in his hand and raising his eyebrows at her frown as she finally looked up at him. Confused as to why he wasn’t bringing their entertainment with him.

“What?” She asked as he walked around the coffee table and knelt in front of the cabinet. 

“You’re going to like it, trust me.” Eddie assured her, pulling the cupboard open. A springy sort of sound that rattled the glass door filled the room before he leant in to rifle through the things on the shelf. 

“Raiders?” She asked.

“No.” Eddie answered simply.

He found what he was looking for. Standing up and lifting the dust cover off the record player she kept above the TV as he removed a vinyl from its sleeve.

Karmen watched his back, not sure what he was doing until she saw him place the record inside the player and switch it on. Pulling the needle over to where it needed to be and turning to smile at her as the crackle of the music began to play through the speaker.

Eddie leant over the coffee table, holding out his hand to her. He flicked his hips in time with the beat of the music, wiggling his brows at her and gesturing more pointedly for her to take his hand as she stared up at him in stunned silence.

Been working so hard

I'm punching my card

“Teach me the dance!” He shouted over the music as her eyes flicked to the hand in front of her face, a skeptical look on her features as she studied it carefully. “I know you know it!” He added, playfully accusatory. 

Eight hours, for what?

Oh, tell me what I got

“Seriously?” She asked, voice also raised over the song. “You didn’t even want to watch the movie.” 

I've got this feeling

That time's just holding me down

“Come on! You’re gonna’ miss the chorus.” He urged her, moving over the coffee table in one large step and grabbing the hand from her lap before she could protest.

I'll hit the ceiling

Or else I'll tear up this town

He yanked her up from her seat, pulling her quickly away from the couch into the empty space between the living room and kitchen where she had been pacing earlier. 

She let him pull her, not really expecting anything else to come of it once they were standing in an open space.

But Eddie surprised her. He let go of her hand as the chorus began, stepping back and striking his best Saturday Night Fever pose. One hip cocked, right arm pointing up towards the ceiling at an angle while the left pointed towards the ground.

So now I gotta cut loose

Footloose

Karmen barked out a laugh at the sight. Slapping her hands over her mouth in shock as Eddie grinned at her before changing up his expression to do his best Elvis impression.

Kick off the Sunday shoes

Please, Louise

Her mouth fell open as he moved into the grapevine. Sadness gone in an instant and pure glee on her features as she watched him shuffle from side to side with a ridiculous gate.

“Oh my God!” She screamed over the music. “You can dance?”

Pull me off of my knees

Jack, get back

“No!” Eddie yelled back, shaking his head at her incredulously as she rushed towards him to join in.

Come on before we crack

Lose your blues

“Yes you can!” She argued excitedly as Eddie finally stopped moving so she could catch up to him.

Everybody cut footloose

“I would do anything to stop you being sad.” He admitted aloud as he placed his hands on her hips and they swayed together to the music as the next verse started. “Anything.” He said again, jutting his chin from side to side in time with the music as Karmen giggled up at him. Her eyes sparkling again.

Eddie let out a breath at the sight. Relief filling his chest at the smile on her face as she pulled him to her and rested her cheek against his chest.

He held her close. One hand coming up to play in her curls as the other rubbed up and down her back. They swayed together softly to the rest of the song. Slow dancing to the party music and enjoying each other’s company until the record played out. As the music faded, the soft crackling of the needle against the vinyl signaled that it was time for them to part.

Karmen moved first so that Eddie could pull away. Albeit reluctantly as he smiled down at her while he back stepped towards the living room and switched off the player. Karmen followed him, stopping by the couch and looking around her before realizing that the movies were still in the kitchen. She retreated, returning with them a second later and motioning for Eddie to sit down on the couch as she placed them on the coffee table and clicked opened one of the cases.

Terminator.

“Babe.” Eddie said softly, realizing what she was doing. “You don’t have to–”

“I want to watch it.” She argued, discarding the case and slipping the tape into the player before rounding the table again and slipping in beside Eddie who snatched the remote from her reach before she could turn on the TV.

“You want to watch Footloose.” He corrected, going to stand and being stopped by a hand on his thigh.

“No.” She said earnestly, shaking her head. “I just lived through The Footloose Experience.” She said pointedly, showing him her jazz hands and jutting her head towards the area behind the couch where they had just been dancing. “I don’t think the movie will ever satisfy me again.” She sighed wistfully, a smirk on her lips as a flush rose on Eddie’s cheeks at the memory.

It hadn’t seemed so ridiculous in the moment. He really would do just about anything to see her smile.

Except dance like that again.

“Yeah…” He said, trailing off. “Sorry about that.” He said with a grimace, making her laugh. 

“I loved it.” She smiled, taking advantage of his distracted state to snatch the remote back and turn on the TV. “You really cut Footloose.” She murmured as he scoffed at her, embarrassment bubbling in his chest. 

This was definitely one of those moments he was going to lay awake at night thinking about for the rest of his life. But he could live with that. If it meant that Karmen didn’t spend at least tonight lying awake and thinking about hers.

End.

~~

More Notes: (Spoilers for the rest of the series! Come back and read this after Anticipation if you don't want it spoiled!) The fact that Karmen decides to stay with Eddie after the whole Chrissy debacle (when they've only been together about a year at that point) is something I wanted very badly to make believable for them.

When I first started this story the intention was for Eddie to die at the end. So the fact they had only been together a year didn't really matter. 😅 When I decided not to go with that ending I wanted to make it believable that Karmen would believe Eddie was innocent without all the extra context/be willing to stay with him long enough to learn about what really happened.

So I feel like it is important for the reader to learn these things about Karmen's background too. While I probably won't ever bother going into detail about her ex Alec and the baby she lost with him (the other person she wasn't ready to talk about yet btw) we can hopefully imagine from the small amounts of context throughout that he was basically just a very shitty person and not the only shitty person she ever dated either.

Eddie is the first person Karmen has ever been with that she actually feels loved by and not like she constantly has to prove herself to him to keep him loving her. Eddie is the best relationship she's ever had and she does not want to give that up lightly.

She is a very empathetic, caring and giving person. She has always been that way but especially after the realization that life is short and you can die at any time, she goes out of her way to make her loved ones happy because you never know when it's the last time you'll ever see someone alive.

It's in her nature to want to care for her loved ones so she feels slighted when it comes to past relationships and like she wasted all her 'good years' doing things to make previous partners happy only to have them not appreciate it in the end.

So there are a few moments leading up to this story (like Sugar & Spice Racks for example) where Karmen starts to see that Eddie is truly is different from the rest. But also very specifically Eddie's reaction to learning about what happened with Davey is the point that she knows he is different and that he is worth every second of the time she spends on him.

Whether or not they will be together long term, (because at this point the character's still aren't sure) she enjoys spending her time making Eddie happy because she feels for the first time in her life like her partner puts in equal if not more effort to make her happy. Is that the bare minimum in a relationship? Probably. But as we know, Eddie would do just about anything to make her happy and does continue to do so for the rest of their lives so she really can't complain when he doesn't do the dishes. 😂

POINT IS by the time Aftermath rolls around she is so truly in love with this man/can't imagine her life without him to the point that she will put up with just about anything to keep him because as crappy as Eddie can behave at times (you'll see what I mean when I get to the later chapters of Aftermath) and as stressful as he is sometimes with his mental health journey etc, she knows that he is not doing it on purpose/not choosing to be that way/not doing it to her or to hurt her (like other people previously in her life might have. Used bad mental health as a means of control). Eddie is truly just unwell and needs support which she is more than happy to give him. While he can be exhausting sometimes, it is vastly different to being with someone that is nasty and abusive because they are selfish and don't care about others. Which before Eddie was all she'd ever really known. 😭

~~

John when he finds out what Uncle did 👇😂

Here's a little comic I made of Karmen remembering Davey's Death

Read the rest of the series here :)

This series is so personal to me, so it means the world to me when someone let’s me know they enjoy a work from this series. If you guys liked this please pleaseee consider letting me know via comment, reblog, message, anon ask etc.  

Tags: @3ddi3-daydreamer @micheledawn1975 @munson-blurbs @wheels-of-despair @browneyes528 @stevemunsons

[thedragonagebigbang]

Bang Creator Interview: Tumblr: @twist-shout-and-shells | AO3: Aint_No_Holy_Ghost

The Collaboration period has begun! In these quiet months before works are due, we want to foster a sense of excitement, camaraderie, and celebration among our participants. To that end, all participants were given the option of a formal interview by our mod, Dema, or an informal ��ask-game” survey. We hope you enjoy getting to know our phenomenal creators as much as we have!

This is how local political unrest can help your love life!

Izzy and Dema talk writing (surprise!), trying and failing to catch a train, and Those Greek Guys

Dema: Starting current events (at the time of the interview): It's pitch writing time! How's it going?

Izzy: I've reached the part where the fun and games end and the heavier plot begins, so I'm moving more slowly. I totally lost control of the direction my story was going after chapter 3. But it's been a great time writing this story!

Dema: It is funny how our own stories can get away from us. I think I have my vibes pinned down and I almost always deviate. Does that tend to be your experience or are you usually a make-a-plan, stick-to-the-plan-type of writer?

Izzy: I try to be a no-plan writer. That's usually how my stories start: I get an idea and start in it with no real direction. But eventually I'm forced to develop some plan for where I'm going, and I try to stick to it. But I think the nature of stories is that sometimes they just write themselves and I'm simply their vessel.

Dema: I'm trying to remember which writer described it as trying to catch a train...

Izzy: That sounds familiar... But I can't remember either.

Dema: Wow, it's gunna drive me crazy. I'll put it in later… it was basically, you're on foot, and inspiration is like a train, and you're just grabbing onto whatever you can grab. Except I'm pretty sure a nobel prize-winning writer said it so it sounded much better.

[Narrator: Dema never did find the original source, and it really will drive her crazy. If you know it, tag her!]

When you say you eventually need to develop a plan, at what point do you realize you need to do that?

Izzy: Either when I run out of inspiration or when I have a clear idea of where I want to get, but no idea of how to get there. With my story for the DABB it was the former: after writing three chapters non-stop I hit a brick wall of "alright, and where am I going with this?"

Dema: I was going to ask about the DABB next! Did you have your preliminary idea before you decided to join in?

Izzy: Yes. It was an idea that had been kicking around in my head for a long while, but that I wasn't sure I should actually write because it's a) kind of a cliche and b) not a very popular pairing, but eventually I decided to just get it out there anyway. It started with a very particular line of dialogue and grew from there.

Dema: Oh, we love a rarepair in this house…And of course, I know what it is, and am excited.

Izzy: Lol! It was strange for me actually, becoming a rare pair writer. The first big bang I participated in was for Supernatural, a pairing with 100k fics on their tag. Now I'm writing for a pair with 100 fics, 4 of which are mine.

Dema: Incredible. You are holding down this fort. Also I love this little teaser. When did you start writing for DA?

Izzy: October 2022 (We're in 2024 already, jesus Christ)

Dema: Yes, unfortunately it is a daily shock for me as well. But I love how many people come into the fandom and create new fanworks even so long after the last game came out. What drew you in? Were you already hanging around the DA fandom before 2022?

Izzy: I started playing...at the end of 2021, I think. My brother introduced me to the franchise and my autistic little brain became obsessed with it. I was going to name my favorite game and protagonist, but considering they're the center of the fic, that'd be a spoiler. Anyway, I started following some DA blogs on Tumblr, and eventually thoughts of that game had consumed my every waking thought to the point I wrote two academic essays about it in my first year of uni. I wrote a significant portion of those 4 fics in the bus on the way to said uni. What drew me in most were the themes, really.

Dema: Any in particular?

Izzy: Found family and the tragic undertones of it all, mostly. I really like the way DA2 works as a tragedy in between two epics. The mage x templar conflict is also quite interesting. The tragedy x epic was totally the subject of one of those essays, btw. My professors suffer.

Dema: So I assume DA2 is your favorite of the franchise? Have you played all of them?

Izzy: Yes, it is! I've played all of them a couple of times, and DA2...several times. I don't know how many. 

Dema: I'm so curious if you played them in order or started with DA2. The "best order" to experience the DA universe is an interesting debate.

Izzy: No, I played them in order. Personally, I think it'd be strange to play them out of order, at least for the first time, because of the way the stories tie into each other. What I did do was play DA2 twice before I played Inquisition because on my first gameplay I didn't really check the writing desk (there wasn't anything like that in DAO and I was still new to games more complex than The Sims) and I missed Fenris entirely. Detail: he's one of my fave companions now

Dema: I'm pretty sure I missed Sera on my first DA:I playthrough. It's wild how much it impacts the story, if you miss a companion!

Izzy: Yes! I mean, it's a whole arc and a lot of banter you just don't get. Fenris has so much good banter!! I truly can't believe I missed him.

Dema: When it comes to the DA fandom, would you consider yourself a gamer first and a writer or reader second, or something else?

Izzy: That's a really difficult question. I'm not exactly a big gamer. Like, I'm not a completionist and I mostly play on casual because my real focus is the story being told. So I guess what I truly am is a "reader of the game" lol. Though I have been getting more into combat strategizing and stuff like that for DA2, because you can only play something on casual so many times before it loses the appeal. If you'll allow me an anecdote, to paint a picture of the kind of "gamer" I am: one time I was playing DAI in my brother's room (his computer), and he walks in, sees me with a vein popping on my forehead, stupidly focused, staring unflinchingly at the screen, and asks "what the f* are you doing?" I was in the undercroft tinting armors. 

And then, after that, I'm a writer.

Dema: This story is very relatable, lol. You've touched on the narrative structure of the franchise a bit and I'd love to hear more about that epic to tragedy to epic format, and why that resonated. Since you wrote a whole paper on it, just distill it into like four sentences, that shouldn't be hard right??? (I'm sorry)

Izzy: Oh, god. Ok. I'll try not to get too carried away :V

Dema: Please feel free. Here is a box to stand on, and a megaphone.

Izzy:  So. Uh. The Greeks, right? Those guys. Aristotle, more specifically. The Poetics and all that. I think DAO and DAI follow the formula of classic epics: you have this larger than life hero going on a very important quest to save the world. Notice that those games are longer than DA2, kind of like an odyssey, if you will. There are many quests, many steps to the journey before the hero can rest. It's glorious and grand, regardless of whether the hero survives or not. Now DA2 follows the formula of tragedies even closer than the other games follow the epic. And I mean step by step aristotelian formula. You have Hawke, who rises into fame and fortune. The rising movement is very important, because you later have the downfall. He gets fame and riches, but everything comes with a cost, usually the lives of his family. So in DA2 you have this constant rise and fall movement, leading up to the end where (if you defend the mages, at least) Hawke is forced to leave behind everything they spend 7+ years building. They lose everything. In the essay I compared it to Oedipus: he becomes king and etc, there's this looming prophecy (remember Flemmeth when you do the amulet ritual), and in the end everything falls apart. That's as summarized as I can get lol. And Hawke starts out as a nobody! And the game is actually divided in acts!!!

Dema: I read a LOT of classics/Homer in undergrad and I love this. Ten out of Ten. Thank you! I could honestly listen to you talk about that epic/tragedy structure for another hour but alas, we are out of time. To close the interview, and just for fun: Can you come up with a buzzfeed-style, misleading, click-bait title for your fic? Without giving anything major away that would identify you lol

Izzy: Ok, so, this is as vague as I managed: This is how local political unrest can help your love life (Also, I just realized I went out to get wifi and did the whole interview wearing a DA2 sweater. It was a complete accident, I swear)

Dema: AMAZING. Please show me the sweater!!

Izzy: The culprit:

Dema: I love it. Thank you for chatting with me, Izzy!

[nanami-is-nanamean]

for literal years (i have no sense of time, its honestly probably just half a year but i could be horrifically wrong—i blame covid for destroying it), i have had this... au. where i just. put nanami. in hsr.

like—instead of caelus or stella being the mc, nanami is and thats whats hes been doing all those years when he was away from sorcery. i do hc that he spent at least one year as a salaryman to get that signature "my soul has been sucked out by capitalism" look and "we should reform society to be better" mindset lmao

i imagine that like—the way it works is that everything happens roughly the same in the main story, its just the little minute differences that change kinda like how everyones playthru of hsr is slightly different because we chose diff dialogue options or whatever

so like—he goes thru belobog, goes thru the xianzhou, goes thru penacony, and then all the side quests, and thats when he decides to go back home (did i base it off my own hsr progress? haha... yeah. lmao)

i dont know who exactly he goes down back to earth with but i do have this one scene in my head where he meets up with himeko. and as much as i like the idea of him going down alone, i dont think the express is gonna let him lmao. best i can imagine is march and welt. welt because this is the most similar to his old home of hi3 (which i want to play so bad but alas i have a life), and march because she serves as a nice contrast to the low energies of nanami and welt AHAHA

i did consider benching her since shes been going to expeditions nonstop but like—the contrast gotta b there honey, thats what you call good writing and good character dynamic lmao. but yeah—he goes down, calls up gojo, and welt and march go off to fuck about.

i imagine that gojos fuckin stunned to see him after so many years because like—he was working a dead end job and then one day he fucking disappears. and it would scare gojo too since like, his entire thing is being able to see things, to percieve things, and as op as gojo is, im p sure he isnt able to see far enough to find nanami in the cold and dark depths of space. all he knows is—he was there, and then, his cursed energy disappears like a candle that went out. all he can assume is that he died or some curse users got to him. but if he died, a sorcerer of his caliber would produce a CRAZY curse spirit. and if curse users got to him, there would be some sort of trace or destruction left behind as a trail because nanami wont go that easy and if he did turn into a curse user, he would be able to pick up the curse energy residue.

so now here he is, back infront of him like some kind of disappearing act AND with some strange and crazy energy inside him. like a fucked up star or black hole or something. somethings obviously happened to him, and if the weird disappearance and reappearance or the weird-ass thing inside him didnt clue him in—he would rip out his own eyes. and he KNOWS that is this nanami because the Six Eyes never lie. (hehe kenjaku prison realm moment)

so now hes tasked with figuring out what the fuck happened to nanami and what the fuck that pulsing thing inside him is—but hes conflicted about it because jesus christ, it was just him and ieiri for so long and theyre both so desperate and so happy to see an old friend again and—and they don't know if they can disregard whatever the fuck happened to him and if hes a threat, because god they missed him so much (hehe geto moment)

MEANWHILE march and welt are snooping around and they find a curse, which they easily defeat obviously and welt has... a WEIRD feeling about these "curses". like hes experienced facing this kind of energy before... so they go curse hunting a little bit more and holy shit. thats when welt realizes.

the reason why the curses and curse energy is so familiar is because he REALLY DID face this sort of energy before—and he faced that energy in the form of rAIDEN MEI WHEN SHE WAS WAVING AROUND HER NIHILITY ABILITIES. so now the express HAS to start meddling because the fucking NIHILITY is HERE and this world has been drowning in the powers of the nihility for actual fucking CENTURIES and at this point, and its going to be too goddamn predictable if theres a fucking stellaron causing it. (there isnt but theyre so used to it at this point lmao)

so yeah! thats my setup for an hsr x jjk crossover lmao

oh yeah its totes nanago AHAHHAHAHA—its implied but idk if it got thru KJHDFJLGkHSLK

[sawyer-is-eepy]

spoilers(?) for the mod "reactive hearthians" and also base game outer wilds! spoilers might be a bit strong for word choice seeing as it's just adding more dialogue, but just in case anyone wants to see the new dialogue this mod brings for themselves ^^

my god reactive hearthians has SO MUCH new dialogue. i thought this mod only had like, a couple new lines but jesus christ, it's taken me like 3 ish hours to find the majority of it. (they react to the supernova, and the mod supernova on demand was my BEST FRIEND throughout the process of trying to get everyone's reaction)

i still have some more dialogue to tackle, but i'm most of the way through it, i think. i'm writing it all down for any console users. *cough cough* read: originally was just gonna be for my friend but why not make it accessible to anyone *cough cough*

the only issue is, the desc tells you some of the dialogue it adds but the creator says "and probably more!" in the desc too, and the rest of the desc is already pretty vague(FYM "CERTAIN ITEMS" WILL PROMPT NEW DIALOGUE?? WHICH ITEMS?!?!)

anyways, so far some lines of dialogue have broken me(tephra's supernova reaction) and some have made me laugh really hard("duuuuuuude… what is *up* with your head?")

anyways, there's still some dialogue options here and there i need to find. but i'll release the list soon i guess.