#there’s probably some inconsistency here

[pearlofthewoods]

Oh OKAY JANE ESPENSON with After Life!

So the beautiful scene that begun this whole thread… was written by a woman?

Sounds about right. ↕️🙂

(Thank you thank you Jane Espenson for all you gave to us Spuffy girlies 🥰, we are forever in your debt.)

But honestly, I never even considered that there would be such a gendered split between the healthier Spuffy writing and the more toxic-ish Spuffy writing. I just thought it might be a change in writers in general that created some of the more inconsistent-with-previous-episodes characterisation.

But now I realise it that was that, but it was also probably something to do with the men.

So I now feel very vindicated in questioning it in my earlier post.

Thanks so much for doing the research @aphony-cree. 🙏 This was a very enlightening read.

p.s. And in honour of Jane Espenson, I’m including the two scenes that first made me truly fall in love with Spuffy, all those years ago.

(snippet from the gorgeous Buffyverse Wiki ‘After Life’ transcript since Tumblr won’t let me add 2 videos at once 🥲)

DAWN: Spike? Are *you* okay?

SPIKE: I'm ... what did you do?

DAWN: Me? Nothing.

Buffy clutches the top of her shirt closed, looks up at Spike a little fearfully.

SPIKE: Her hands.

Buffy lowers her hands, puts them behind her back, looks uncomfortable.

DAWN: Um, I was gonna fix 'em. I don't know how they got like that.

SPIKE: I do. Clawed her way out of a coffin, that's how. (to Buffy) Isn't that right?

BUFFY: (quietly) Yeah. That's ... what I had to do.

SPIKE: Done it myself.

Throughout this, Spike continues staring at her as if he thinks he's dreaming. Now he snaps out of it.

SPIKE: Um ... We'll take care of you. Come here.

He puts out his arm and guides Buffy into the living room.

SPIKE: (to Dawn) Get some stuff, uh, mercurochrome, bandages.

DAWN: Okay.

Dawn goes off. Spike follows Buffy into the living room. She sits on the sofa and he sits on the coffee-table facing her. He takes her hands in his and looks at them. Then he looks up at her face and their eyes meet.

BUFFY: How long was I gone?

SPIKE: Hundred forty-seven days yesterday. Uh ... hundred forty-eight today. (smiles a little) 'Cept today doesn't count, does it?

And secondly;

“But I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but ... after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again ... do something different. Faster or more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways ... (softly) Every night I save you.”

So thank you Jane Espenson, for giving me the version of Spuffy and of Spike that I’ll always carry in my heart.

The gentler, kinder version that I always hoped they’d find their way back to. This was the goal. This was the aim. And by the end of Season 7, I think they were finally getting there again. They just took the long way round.

Buffy wanting some time alone then telling Spike "That's okay. I can be alone with you here" is one of the most romantic lines ever, but then they followed it up with Spike telling her "Buffy, if you're in … if you're in pain … or if you need anything… or if I can do anything for you.." and they really expected us to think they were bad together and shouldn't be a couple

[theambitiouswoman]

I am someone with a desire to socialize/build relationships/network who has always had to deal with unprovoked envy, hidden animosity, general unprovoked mistreatment which has therefore made me withdraw and suppress a lot of my skills. I’ve experienced these things in social interactions and even interpersonal and familial relationships. while I can be self-assured, assertive and confident, I have a history of people-pleasing and I notice that this makes me more susceptible to the things I mentioned above. I have reflected on this and determined that most people have been intimidated by me/my talents but that the manner in which I go out of my way to appease people or just be graceful, kind, and soft-hearted in general or makes them feel comfortable enough to project that intimidation by disrespecting and attempting to belittle me.

I have dealt with people’s responses to me by embodying my masculine energy in order to self-protect (lots of anger). Do you have any advice or ideas for a consistent routine to help me truly begin assert boundaries, prioritize myself and not allow others to take me out of my true element (powerful, creative, self-confident) while also still dealing with said people? I have tried in the past but particularly in interpersonal relationship I fail, due to the way I carry extreme guilt for prioritizing myself and due to fear of abandonment.

I love this question, i've been dying to talk about this so thank you!!!

In my humble opinion, it seems like you are at a point where you have done work on yourself, are trying to improve and have learned how to become more aware of your surroundings. This is actually really great! My take away when I read it is that you are stuck in somewhat of what I like to call a limbo position.

And this is something that I didn't understand myself when I went through a lot of the same pain points you brought up.

Some of the main reasons you may be in this cycle is because, for one, you may be continuing in the same environment or meeting the same people in new bodies. Or you are handling the situations with new people the same way you did before. I think thats the point you were trying to make.

I just want to first say that you are not an intimidating woman. Get that out of your head because it sets a negative thought pattern and will subconsciously keep you in a loop where you are repeating cycles. You are only intimidating to the wrong people. You may be settling for less or selling yourself short in regards to your expectations with yourself or your self worth. I say this with love, obviously. It's probably not even something that you realize cause you really do seem to have amazing attributes. If you didn't, you wouldn't feel the way you do now.

However, I really suggest you stop trying to water yourself down to make others feel comfortable. Because that is really what its coming down to. You cant make a shoe thats a size smaller than you fit. Time to change your shoes because its obvious you have outgrown these environments and have not realized that you are capable of so much more. You are letting the guilt from this make you limit yourself and thats totally not fair for you.

Which leads me to your next paragraph.

The issue here seems to be the lack of emotional control. It is not what you say, but how you say it. And that occurs because we are not fully healed from whatever wounds, or not confident in ourselves. Either or, or both. You should be able to and can get to a place with yourself where you can assert yourself with a calm, straight forward tone and get the message across.

If fear of abandonment is your thing, you may be tying yourself worth to others. Maybe as a child, you experienced neglect, inconsistent care, or emotional disconnection that planted the seeds of your fear of abandonment. So you should maybe start by challenging the negative beliefs that stem from these experiences, such as “I’m not enough” or “People always leave me,” and replace them with affirmations like “I am worthy of love and connection.” Focus on self validation by meeting your own emotional needs, learning to comfort yourself during moments of insecurity. Express your needs and trust that doing so strengthens relationships rather than pushes people away. Change your perspective in the same way i referenced about you being intimidating, to abandonment as a natural part of life’s flow, so you recognize that it doesn’t reflect your worth. Work on your emotional independence by pursuing personal goals, doing activities you love and self love habits. This will help you build more confidence and resilience with interpersonal relationships so that when someone tries you, hurts you etc, you feel confident enough to be like, "yeah, you don't need to be in my life." vs being overwhelmed by emotion out of the fear of losing someone who is not treating you how you should be treated.

Hope this helped.

<3

[selsieeeo]

Give Me back my Son

Based/Inspired off of @llondonfog potion!au because I wail on the inside every time I think about it 🥲 I also can’t think of a good title rn. It’s 11pm rn I can’t think and wrote this quick out to get it out of my head. Probably some grammar mistakes

Lilia watched from the stands as Vargas introduced the start of the tournament that Night Raven College and Royal Sword Academy held each year, switching the stadium from school to school each year. He would have watched with anticipation this year as Sebek was in the tournament this year but he couldn’t bring the heart to be excited at all.

Not without his son Silver…

No less than three months ago, everything was fine. He was happy, his son was doing well. Sebek still argued with Silver. Malleus talked to the Ramshackle Perfect about Gargoyles. It was all perfect and he was happy. Then his son disappeared.

It was the evening, he had been in the lounge, patiently waiting for his son to come back. He had assumed Silver must have fallen asleep again. No worries there, Silver usually managed to wake up and come back before it struck midnight.

It was past 11pm now. Silver wasn’t back. Strange. Lilia frowns and goes to search for his son.

He searches all over the places where Silver would most likely be at. He found nothing. It was as if Silver disappeared without a trace…

Lilia felt his stomach drop. How could Silver have just disappeared just like that? He alerts Malleus and Sebek about Silver’s disappearance and they assist Lilia in trying to find Silver.

It’s nearly 1am now. They still haven’t found a trace of Silver at all.

“Lilia…it isn’t like Silver to just disappear.” Malleus says. “He could have been…”

“Kidnapped?” Lilia finishes miserably. Malleus nods. Lilia didn’t want to believe it, but he knew it was the only possible option left. Who dares try to steal the former general’s precious son from him?

A week had passed by, news of Silver’s disappearance had spread like wildfire. Crowley had given Lilia, Malleus and Sebek permission to leave school grounds to search for Silver.

After going through the magic mirror they agreed to go to the Shaftlands first to search for Silver. They had searched for quite some time. Then Lilia managed to secure a clue. Fragments of an old kingdom were found in the north of the Shaftlands. They headed to the north.

Lilia had seen a brown haired human confronting them as the human asked what they’re purpose was so far in the north. Lilia took note of the insignia. The same insignia of the kingdom Lilia helped destroy…

Malleus had explained to the human that they were simply trying to find someone. A person named Silver. Something inside Lilia suddenly snapped. This guard…he remembered taking him down but not killing him before he found…Silver…

The brown haired guard was the one to take Silver.

Lilia remembered suddenly shouting at the guard in rage. Demanding him to give him his son back. He would have gone even farther to killing the guard if it weren’t for Malleus telling him to calm down as they needed the information. The sly guard had slipped away during the commotion.

Eventually, Queen Maleficia ordered Lilia to go back to Night Raven College as this kidnapping had happened close to her grandson. Though upset, he complied and returned to the college. He did know the queen did have a soft spot for his son and took a guess that perhaps she would help in one way or another to find his missing son.

Two months had passed since Silver’s disappearance. It was as if it disappeared from thin air without a trace.

Now here they were again. At the tournament. Lilia sat besides Malleus who placed his hand on his caretaker. “We will find him.” Malleus says to Lilia.

The tournament begins. The representatives for Royal Sword Academy come out. One of them made Lilia’s heart drop in an instant.

A 17 year old boy comes out of the tent fitted in Royal Sword’s uniform as if he always belonged there. He had silver hair tied up in a low ponytail and auroral eyes.

It was as if the world decided to drop his son back to the world.

His son…Silver…

Lilia wanted to get up and just fly over to Silver but his bats did it before him. They suddenly flew over to the RSA’s representatives, many of them shrieking and taking cover. He heard them muttering about this being a sabotage. He doesn’t care, all he sees is his son. His son with his bats who are happy to see him again.

It takes all of Malleus’s strength to hold Lilia back from jumping over the railing to join his bats. Malleus told Lilia that they can wait once intermission arrives upon them to see Silver. Lilia nods absentmindedly. All he can think about is that his son was back. His most precious son. The one thing that lights up his world. He hears about Sebek confronting Silver and that Silver didn’t seem to remember Sebek at all.

Lilia frowns at that.

What did they do to you, Silver? He wonders.

Intermission arrives and Lilia immediately leaves the stands to find his son. What a coincidence for him to run into him soon after.

“Ah, you must be the student that owns the bats.” Silver says. “I just want to help return them to you.”

Lilia smiles warmly. How thoughtful of his son!

“What is your name?” Silver asks.

“Lilia. Lilia Vanrouge.” Lilia replies. From what he can tell, Silver seems to have his memories wiped clean. Who would do this to him?

“It’s nice to meet you Vanrouge-San.” Silver says as he gives back the bats.

“Please call me Lilia, no need for honorifics.” Lilia says as he pats one of his bats on their head. The bats were sad that they had to leave Silver. He understood their feelings.

“Silver. There you are.” Lilia’s blood freezes. He knows that voice…

Silver turns around and greets a certain brown haired guard. “Ah hello Andrei.”

Him.

Andrei looks at Lilia. “Who is he?” He asks Silver.

“Ah that’s Vanrouge-I mean Lilia. I met him when returning his bats to him.”

“I see…” Andrei’s eyes lingered on Lilia as he placed his hand on Silver’s shoulder.

“Uh-Andrei is my guardian, ever since my parents died.” Silver explained trying to ease up the sudden awkward silence.

“Guardian…? I See.” Lilia says, trying not to sound angry. How dare Andrei. How dare he take his son and claim him as his guardian. He did this. The vampire fae restrained himself from attacking the guard and kept his cool. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Andrei” he says.

Andrei looks at him stiffly. “Pleasure is all mine. Come Silver, you must have your daily tea now.”

Tea, huh. Lilia could see the grimace coming from Silver but he nods and bides goodbye to the old fae.

Lilia stands there utterly shocked and angry. He’s angry at Andrei for taking his son away. He’s shocked that his amnesiac son now attends RSA.

But that doesn’t matter right now. No matter what, he’s fueled with a new mission. He’s going to get his son back no matter the cost. Getting his memories back? Not a problem. All it costs is Andrei's blood…

[krysmcscience]

Call this the Whoopsie AU (it's barely an AU)

I mean. Narinder never explicitly SAID the Lamb would stay dead... :3c He probably should have been more specific. >:3c

Part Two:

Well. The Lamb tried, but...sorry, Nari, the crown hates you now. Shouldn't have been so quick to lend it out, I guess. :D

Aaaand Part Three:

'Isn't he just adorable?' -The Lamb, probably, while their followers smile and nod and internally scream at the brand new hellcat they now have to share living space with...

Anyway, nothing says 'Dead To Me' like following a person around to loudly remind them of how dead they are to you. Right? Right. Narinder's got this all figured out. <:]

[medi-bee]

isat pokemon au, my liege?

my rambling in tags

[zylphiacrowley]

non-local thalassophobe does not take well to attempted drowning.

[dinoserious]

sending ori to hisui. for funsies

[twinsoftriumph]

SHOCKING: i still haven't finished this sky nightly arrangement from forever ago (the procrastinatorrrrr) but here is what i have (mostly) finished so far and i adjusted some of the instrument volumes etc etc. here's the original song for comparison

[sskk-manifesto]

--

[sysig]

I can’t stop drawing tiny Watchdogs (Patreon)

[edenfire]

✨️🌸 Artwork 2024 Summary 🌸✨️

looking back on 2024, there were some months where I was drawing like crazy😳💞 and some months I barely drew anything at all; ; I would like to draw more consistently this year🙏

that said, I had a BUNCH of secret projects that I worked on that I can't post yet, even now lol so it's a little tricky to see what I actually drew each month

this year was my first time participating in a zine!!🙌🙌 it was a lot of fun, so I've signed up for a couple more💗

this year I also participated in shuake week, tweek week, and haru week😱😱 so I made a lot of art back to back lol

thank you so much for your support this past year and into the next!! it'll really means a lot to me💗💞💞

[transannabeth]

my preview for this year's edition of @windowtoworlds!! it's always such an honor and joy to help run this project, and it's totally free! so make sure to check out everyone's amazing ocs when it comes out on december 15th~

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent game related things .. hrmm...

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Masquerade

historical fiction set in 15th century West Africa

follows a young woman from Timbuktu, recently conquered by the the warrior king of Yorùbáland

her guild of blacksmiths were already shunned as witches, and their conditions worsen under Yorùbá rule - so when she’s kidnapped by the king to be his wife, she decides to accept that it’ll be a better life for her, as long as she can get her mother’s blessing

but as months go by without her mother being found, and political tensions rise, she must decide what she wants

[lanatusnebula]

Well clearly I am confused.

[kyistell]

This was just a random idea I had. In my brain Central Jersey is the Jersey that shows the most, problem is is since CJ is so...let's go with disconnected, with the rest of the country he gets overwhelmed, and sure North could just switch in and South could do the same if they all wanted to scare the others with a southern accent that has the slang of the California coast, but watching a place that doesn't exist (it totally does btw) is way funnier.

Besides, by now all the other states that aren't the OG13 think that New Jersey has brown-looks red in certain light-eyes and it would scare the devil out of 'em if they see the red eyes that North actually has (and considering it's HIS body, it is far to tempting).

Also is it obvious that I love the idea that it's the Jersey's and not just Jersey, like I live here, if it's one singular state then I'm from Pennsylvania (I may have been born there but I sure as heaven ain't from there). Jersey would be three different states if we wanted to be associated with the rest of the country more than we already are, that and we may not agree on things but we don't HATE each other, we leave that for the rest of the country (plus let's be real, central wouldn't exist and then what would north and south argue about?)

Anyway as a proud Centralian looking at the news of the rest of the country is overwhelming, I just want to go skating, to the arcade, and continue lovin our favorite Devil, and down the shore when it's nice (and no, down don't mean literally down, though normally we are going down).