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thekingofwinterblog · 7 months ago

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Maka and Crona's Journey - Wasted Potential

So one of the things I have come to heavily critique the Soul Eater manga for is the way it handled Maka post the defeat of Archnophobia, where it feels like there was a whole host of interesting character moments, but because this was the point where the Manga began to spin it's wheels and had no idea how to connect it's various ideas together into a coherent whole, it ultimately leads her story to feel like a mess of wasted potential.

And after doing an analysis of Maka and Crona's relationship through the manga, i came to realise that the pieces are there to tell a very good character journey that came thiiiiisss close to being amazing, but fumbles the ball on the most important moments, of which the ending is just the final, coup the grace that ensures it's a truly terrible story at the end of the day, rather than just being wasted potential.

I have always been of the opinion that Maka and Cronas second fight was where Soul Eater as a story peaked, as it represented the highpoint of it's themes and the journey of it's characters that would never quite be matched in either the anime, nor manga... But one thing I only realised when looking at what the Manga was trying to do, and how it differed from the Anime, is that the intention behind Manga Maka's journey foreward, was how, while this moment was the defining moment for both Maka and Crona, unlike the Anime, the Manga wanted to explore the negative aspects of this idea.

Maka comes to deeply love and appreciate Chrona and the bond they shared together... But this deep affection also led to Maka's biggest moment of weakness in either take on Soul Eater.

Her learning that Medusa is still alive and Chrona is still under her strings.

This revelation paralyzes Maka. She, the girl who during her second fight with Crona finally was able to overcome fear and be truly brave, now finds herself held back by fear. Not fear of what could happen to herself, but fear of what might happen to Crona depending on her own choices.

If she turns Crona in, there is a very strong possibility that Shinigami-Sama's wrath upon Crona will be quite brutal and swift, but on the other hand, if she does nothing, Medusa's plan will continue unopposed and she might lose Crona anyway.

And so she does... Nothing.

She turns into a coward. She's unwilling to commit to any course out of fear of where it would go.

This is great. It's easily some of Maka's best moments, but the problem comes later.

Because in theory Manga Maka and Anime Maka aren't supposed to be different characters, it's just that they go different journey's to reach the same place.

Anime Maka does not learn about Medusa the same way, instead she only learns about everything after the fact, and so has to react to the revelations in a manner that forces her to make a choice then and there... And her choice is that she will support Crona all the way, consequences and the opinion of anyone else be damned.

Manga Maka however, because of her moment of Weakness loses Crona, and they don't reunite again before near the end of the series.

When Maka tries to reach out to Crona, and convince the Pinkette to come back with her home, it's a sign of both Maka's loyalty and devotion... But also an intentional backslide of her development.

Rather than confront the matter head on, Maka tries to essentially sweep EVERYTHING that has happened since they last saw each other under the rug.

Lets go home, and pretend this never happened.

It's not that Maka's words that she WILL protect Crona are empty, because they're not, but the Manga very much want's this entire scene to be a mirror to the basement scene where the two of them first bonded.

Back then, Maka left Soul behind because she understood Crona, and trusted that she didn't need him for what she had to do.

Here, while she's alone inside the church, she brought her entire team with her, that is outside just waiting to back her up if something goes wrong.

Back then she understood that to reach Crona she had to confront the problem head on, with both kindness, but also with a very firm hand.

Here she is wishy-washy and though she is kind, she has none of that firmness that was so essential in forging their bond back then.

When Crona confesses to murdering Medusa, Maka, better than anyone understands how much this destroyed Crona... But she doesn't have an answer.

The confidence she once had in being certain in how to help Crona is gone.

And of course...

The girl who once walked through deadly and painful spikes to embrace Crona, now flinches away in shock, pain and fear at those spikes.

It is a remarkably powerful contrast and symbolism.

The problem... Is how we got here.

The idea is that this is meant to be where Maka fails Crona a second time, once more due to a moment of weakness, only here it's because she hasn't truly come to terms with the consequences of her own choice back then, and having mustered the strength to truly accept Crona's actions, and then go from there.

She wants everything to go back to normal, the wqy it used to be, when Crona tells her very clearly that that is impossible.

What Maka NEEDED to do here(And what should have been the climax of the story when they meet again inside the black blood) was to help Crona deal with the trauma of Medusa's murder, to help Crona realize that whatever else has happened, Maka still loves them, and that Crona is not fundamentally unworthy of that love as Crona thinks they are.

And at this she fails. Spectacularily.

It's a great sequence of events... It's a real shame then, that her character arc post Archne hasn't been about building up to this moment AT ALL!

Maka's storyline COULD have been about her dealing with depression, sadness over losing Crona, and probably more importantly than anything else, a deep, deep longing to go back to the time they spent together, to return to "Simplier days".

It COULD have been about exploring Maka in a deeply unhealthy and yet incredibly human part of her life, when the backsliding from the person she had begun to become thanks to her and Crona's bond was both painfully obvious, and clearly intentional storywise.

Even after growing as a person, that doesn't mean the way to reaching your best self is a straight road upwards. Sometimes you fall off the track, sometimes you lose sight of the goal you were seeking, and sometimes you look back and what was and feel tempted to go back to an earlier point because you are deeply unhappy with where you are now.

It's a real shame then that Maka's storyline between these points tackles absolutely none of these points or ideas for her character.

And on the moon, we see this pattern of a clear idea for a coherent character story continue, both with Maka's incredibly vicious reaction when she and Crona begins fighting, and how the plot points set up between them really goes nowhere.

The idea here is that Maka is having another moment of weakness, only this time one fueled by anger and Hurt, as she beats the snot out of Crona while saying things she obviously doesn't really mean.

It is, again, an intentional backtracking on her entire character, and if you look at it from the concept stages for her and Crona's relationship it makes perfect sense.

Maka, despite her love for Crona was deeply, deeply hurt by Crona's actions both at the church, and at the moon... The problems with the execution here is:

1. Her mood between the church and here has not in ANY way been building up to this very viscious but human outburst of anger.

2. Other than rejecting Maka at the Church, Crona hasn't really done anything yet that varrants Maka being this viscious and agressive. It feels like there should have been a scene where Crona really wrecked the rest of the cast here, but it didnt happen in the final product, and so while the idea of frustration and anger reaching a boiling point on paper makes sense, in practice Maka's anger in this scene feels really overblown.

3. It doesn't really lead anywhere. This moment comes, and then it's gone, forgotten, rather than playing into Maka's final character arc. You would think Maka would have a moment where she snaps out of it and realises how bad an idea/reqction on her part this was, but no. Much like the rest of the moon fight, it's flash and no substance.

And finally Maka's assession here where she informs her dad(and Black star) that Crona killed Medusa was clearly meant to be some dramatic turning point originally. The point where she FINALLY gets her shit together and realizes what she has to do... Only for Asura to regain control, and so she instead of talking this out with a hug here and now she has to break into Crona'a soul and talk there directly.

And there, you would probably expect her to have to once more go through some scenario where she has to brave painful thorns despite the pain, before embracing Crona in a hug anew, thus showcasing that Maka has FINALLY gotten her shit back together again, and has both regained her courage, but also her determination, her self confidence, from when she was at her height, and is now, finally, after a long, long period of depression and loneliness, ready to take on Azura, with Crona at her side.

You know, the logical rule of 3(one success, one failure, and then a final success as the big redepmtion to make up for our Heroines previous moments of weakness) of storytelling used to showcase both Maka's growth, her hugging Crona leading into some development where Maka finally manages to get Crona to forgive themselves for Medusa's death, and embrace the courage to face the world anew.

The pieces are all here to tell a really, really good tale of a Character who went through ips and downs, who lost something very, very important to her along the way... Only to regain it anew thanks to the bond eith the person she treasures most in the world.

She isn't perfect... But that's okay. She has the people she loves besides her, her partner, her friends, even her dad who she dinally is able to let go off her resentment towards(Which should have been the entire point of her finally wielding him in battle), and her relationship with Crona, the single most important bond she ever made with anyone through the story. Ready to take on the world.

Thst sure would have been a way better story, while also continuing all of Soul Eater's themes into an actual, thematicly coherent climax.

#soul eater #soul eater manga #maka albarn #what could have been #crona #kishin asura #meta #character arc #medusa gorgon #relationships

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atruththatyoudeny · 3 years ago

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Happy 28th! A new month - so new fics for you to find and enjoy! I can’t say it enough: all the authors in this fandom are truly amazing! Thank you so much for continuously sharing your hard work with us ♥ Here are the 14 fics I read and enjoyed this month:

A Hungry Heart | jacaranda_bloom | Great British Bake Off AU - famous/not famous - cliches - pining - angst - smut - 27k Harry Styles, florist and Great British Bake Off contestant, loves many things. He loves his flower shop, he loves baking, and there’s also that little crush he has on pop star Louis Tomlinson. But when Louis arrives on set as the surprise guest judge, Harry’s worlds collide. Throw in a cup of cuteness, a teaspoon of teasing, and a pinch of pining, and there’s all the ingredients for an epic love story, or absolute chaos. Or the one where the Bake Off tent has never been so hot, and it’s got nothing to do with what’s in the ovens.

Teenage Rebellion Never Worked Out So Well | panda_bear21 | arranged marriage - friends to lovers - 55k “I’m an adult!” He glanced down at Harry, who seemed anything but at the moment, where he was definitely on the brink of a temper tantrum. “We’re both adults!” Jay glanced to Anne again, before breathing out a heavy sigh. “Yes, but you’re both adults that do not have jobs and who live off of our money… Which means, you have to do what we say… or you’ll have to find a new place to live.” “You wouldn’t do that.” Louis dared, hoping his glare was enough to guilt trip his mother into calling the whole thing off. Or to tell them that it had all just been a huge joke and they weren’t actually being forced into marrying a complete stranger. “Oh, but we would.” Or the super cliché arranged marriage fic where things escalate way too quickly.

Heartbreak Hotel | noellehenry | time travel - 1950s - historical - pining - 29k British popstar Harry Styles is thrown back in time after an unfortunate accident on stage. He wakes up in a small town in the US in the 1950's, where life is slightly different from 2015. With help from Niall and Liam he tries to adjust to his new life; without mobile phones and a world wide web to keep up with the world and where showing interest in nice cute boys with bright blue eyes is a no-no. Time travel and 1950's AU where Liam is an English teacher, Niall owns the Best Song Ever record shop, James runs Corden's Diner, Elvis fan Louis is the cute boy with the blue eyes and Harry..... just tries to survive really.

Playdate | Larry_you_know | getting together - misunderstandings - kid fic - fluff - 7k When Harry’s sister asked him to pick up her son at a kids' birthday party he sure didn’t expect to be stunned by the blue-eyed brother of the birthday twins. Using his nephew to see Louis again, he falls hard and fast. But how does one turn a playdate into a real date?

tread lightly on my ground | fairytalelights | a/b/o - mpreg - touch-starved - miscommunication - friends to lovers - touch deprivation - smut - 21k No, that's the tragic part of this, the part that makes Harry feel like the universe is playing a cruel joke on him. The father of his baby is exactly right, exactly who he always imagined himself having kids with. He just imagined them married, bonded. Happy. He didn't imagine them barely talking, tip-toeing around each other because neither of them is brave enough to talk about what happened between them. He didn't imagine the father of his child not loving him back. or, the one where Harry is having Louis' baby, but Louis doesn't know it's his.

Not Ready for This | berzerkshires | kid fic - single parents - smut - 18k Prompt for HLSummerFest2021: Louis and Harry are both single fathers and their children decide to go out on a date. The dads insist on meeting one another before they agree to let their child go out on this date.

Secret's Safe With Me | alltheselights | boss/employee relationship - secret relationship - toxic relationship (not h/l) - slow burn - smut - 59k But here’s the thing about secrets that people tend to forget—they’re deeply personal things. Tiny pieces of information about someone that they keep locked inside and only let out at certain moments, or to certain people, or not at all. Secrets have value, you see, even if only to the person holding them inside. If those secrets were to be told, if those tiny jagged pieces of someone, the parts they hold most dear, the parts they hide out of shame or fear or regret—if those pieces were exposed to someone, it would have the potential to change everything. When bad turbulence and three glasses of wine have Louis spilling all of his secrets to the man sitting next to him on the plane, it's embarrassing, sure, but it's also easy enough to shrug off and block out of his memory forever. Or at least, it was until Louis went into work on Monday morning and realized that the man from the plane is the new CEO of his company.

Marks On My Baby | thinlines | a/b/o - college/university - friends to lovers - hurt/comfort - angst - fluff - smut - 32k “What’s that?” Harry hadn’t meant for his voice to sound so sharp and even he winced at his own outburst. It was more of a hiss than an actual question, but for now, he was too surprised to care. “What’s what?” The omega asked, eyebrows raised and lips pinched. Harry knew he was probably mad at him for interrupting his rant, but the alpha was too on edge to bother pleasing the boy. “On your neck… Your bondmark spot…” His voice had grown low and deep, almost a growl. Who knew a single love bite on his omega friend's neck would trigger Harry this much? Certainly not the alpha himself.

Rogue | Laventriloque | a/b/o - werewolves - minor character death - hurt/comfort - past abuse - past rape/non-con - soulmates - smut - 95k “No, Liam! How many times do I have to… before you finally… NO WAY … a rogue in our pack?… cannot trust him … don’t care to know him … have enough members to worry about.” He hears more indistinct shouts before he hears pretty clearly: “His own pack didn’t want him!” Sitting here, his precious bag between his feet and everyone in the room looking at him, some with pity, some with disdain, some with curiosity, Louis feels like someone squeezed his heart in their hands and isn’t letting it go. He wills his head to stay up high and his posture to stay confident. He will not flee the room. He will not let that stupid lump in his throat get the better of him. He will stay here until Liam returns. He will take the rejection in stride and move on. Like he’s been doing all his life." -- Louis is a rogue Omega who's suffered through rejection and abuse for the biggest part of his life. He stumbles onto the Styles pack, quite possibly the kindest one he's ever met.

indian summer | docklands | strangers to lovers - hurt/comfort - banter - smut - 30k Harry runs a smoothie shop, which also happens to be an ever-moving caravan. He spends one week in each location and drives straight to the next, always eager for adventure. It isn't until his van breaks down and he needs to call for a mechanic that he starts to ponder his life choices. Louis, the said mechanic, is an anchor in Harry's wild sea, but his hard metal might be too much for Harry's unpredictable antics.

A Silver Lining In A Storm (You Were Lightning, I Was Born) | FallingLikeThis | arranged marriage - royalty - a/b/o - mpreg - minor character death - murder - non-graphic violence - angst - hurt/comfort - 7k Omega Prince Harry had always known that he was going to have an arranged marriage. But after the death of his first fiancé, a man who turned out far worse than Harry thought possible, his subsequent marriage to the man's brother leaves Harry finding it difficult to trust that everything will work out. Especially considering the only responsibility he’s aware of is to give his husband, the future king, an heir.

A Twist of Fate | myfearlesslou | a/b/o - strangers to lovers - soulmates - angst - 35k Since the moment Harry presented as an omega, all he's ever wanted was to have a baby. Fate had another idea in mind for him. Giving up on trying to conceive, he decides to adopt a new born baby boy. After months of loving and caring for the boy, a strange man comes into his life, taking him by surprise. Not wanting to lose the child he's loved from the moment he laid eyes on him, Harry does whatever he can to keep the boy safe and in his arms. Even if that means following the handsome stranger to a part of the woods he's never seen before.

Trust Me Tonight | 28sunflowers | historical - royalty - regency - arranged marriage - first time - mpreg - pwp - 10k After Harry’s eighteenth birthday, his father calls him into a meeting to say that he is to be married to Prince Louis of France in just over a week. Harry is excited, of course. The arrangement is better than any he could’ve hoped for, with such a young, handsome and kind husband. There is just one issue: Harry doesn’t know what happens on his nuptials, or how to get pregnant to give Louis the heir that he needs.

i got a heart (but i don't got a soul) | tempolarriefics | mythical beings Á creatures - enemies to lovers - childhood friends - famous/not famous - soulmates - angel/demon relationship - demon/human relationship - 19k “We’re soulmates.” Louis’ eyes flick from the tattoo back to Harry’s face, where his eyes are shining with excitement. Louis wonders if he is supposed to feel excited, too. He’s supposed to feel something, surely, besides his usual bitterness for Harry. He thinks back to how Lottie had described meeting Sam, how she had known in her heart that he was meant for her even before he said his phrase. He can’t help but wonder if he would be feeling differently if he hadn’t gone and sold his soul. Or, the one where louis sells his soul before meeting his soulmate, harry is a popstar with a heart of gold, niall is inadvertently responsible for harry's boners, liam is a meddling angel, and zayn is a demon who made a mistake

#28th appreciation #fic rec #my fic rec #my reads #monthly fic rec #monthly reads #larry fics #completed fics

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incorrect-kaishinshi · 3 years ago

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Hi...do you mind if I ask, why do you like shinichi, haibara, and kid? Really glad when I found your blog, detective conan is one of my first anime that I watched as a child.....

Hello there, thank you for your ask! Of course, I don't mind at all! Sorry it took me a while to answer. I'm glad you can enjoy this blog, DC is also my first manga I read so this series is really special to me too.

It might be a bit long, so I'll put my answer under cut!

It's basically the same with Kaito. His whole premise of gaining a double life for the sake of unraveling the mystery behind his father murder is just, really intense and interesting. And I like the idea that he basically sacrifice his former life in order to achieve that (his relationship with the Nakamoris, for one). The fact that his civilian persona is basically the clown-class is my favorite, too. Cheerful characters who hide some kind of secrets are always delightful because they have 2 completely opposite sides and when they switch, the effect is just amazing.

When it comes to characters, I usually love characters with rich and potentially angsty backstory, because it opens up a lot of room for growing. This is especially true for Shiho, with her being the former BO member which is the main antagonist of the story. At the point where Shiho shows up, majority of DC characters are pretty much white and black, like everyone can easily be assigned to 'good guy' and 'bad guy' box. Shiho's appearance as the character who's supposed to be good but have history with the bad side is a really nice change of pace. I always love this type of characters, because it implied that they'll need times to unlearn some 'bad' habit that they can't help but be accustomed with while they're in the bad side. This is the reason why I really love the scene in Desperate Revival where she hold a gun to Conan's head! Really drove the point that she used to be a BO member and definitely doesn't have a 'clean' hand. And she helped Shinichi grow, too, by helping him realize that not everyone in the BO can easily be categorized as bad! She's like the second piece after Keiji Asoh that helped Shinichi to be more mature and not seeing the world in black-and-white state. And I especially love how her main journey is for her to be able to accept herself, past and all. There's just something really satisfying about seeing a character who has been through a lot slowly gaining happiness, y'know?

And as for Shinichi.... well, to be honest, the characters that I genuinely like from the start are only Shiho and Kaito, haha! I used to be pretty neutral toward Shinichi. I like him, but in a way that because he's simply the main character and I just sort of accept that he's around. This is understandable, as he is a shōnen (action?) manga protagonist and they usually have some basic traits that they need to have. Like... being brave, always seeking for justice, great at making speech to the bad guy (the naruto's talk no jutsu, if you will) etc etc. I think his characters truly shines when he interacts with other characters.... which brings us to why I made this blog. Because the dynamic between Conan-KID and Conan-Ai are my favorite in the whole series and I eventually thought, 'what if I just mesh them together?' and I end up falling into Kaishinshi hole and well, here we are.

That ends up a bit longer that I intended, haha! Once again, thank you for the ask! I'm sorry if it's a bit hard to understand, I'm always having difficulties trying to convey my thought...

#thank you for the ask!#asks #not quotes

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powerful-niya · 3 years ago

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Hey Niya!

While I'm writing my answers to the questions you sent me, there's yours 😊

1. things that inspire you

6. how did writing change you?

9. do you set yourself deadlines?

15. hardest verse to write

27. best review you ever got

31. easiest part of writing

38. do you reread your own stories?

40. which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series

41. one song that captures Enemies Or Lovers

Thank you! ❤

Thanks so much @chloelapomme for the questions! You really picked some deep ones too! I really have to think, haha. So starting with the first question:

1. Things that inspire you.

There are a lot of things in this world that inspire me to work hard and be my very best. But I’ll name three things to keep this answer short.

My first inspiration is my family. My entire family is hardworking and deserving. They push forward no matter how hard circumstances are. My family is intelligent, they strive to be the best of the best and as a result, I try to. The people that raised me are my role models. They’ve done so much for me so, I want to make them proud. My family inspires me to be the best of the best and never give up when things get hard. They’ve taught me that life can be tough but you just have to be tougher. Now, I want to make my loved ones proud.

My second inspiration is my friends. The friends I have in IRL and my online friends. My friends always tend to pick me up when I fall and convince me to keep going. I can always rely on them both my online friends and my friends IRL.

My third inspiration is the dreams that I have. I have many dreams, goals that I want to reach. I have things I want to obtain. So because I want a certain thing, I tend to go the extra mile to get to it. My dreams can also be my inspiration. They inspire me to keep going to achieve what I want.

6. How did writing change you?

Well, writing I believe has changed me lots. Before writing, I could not find a hobby that best suited me but that now that I have, I am truly happy. Writing makes me happy. I absolutely love writing about crazy situations that involve Naruto and Hinata. And I also love writing about romance and love. It makes my life complete. Writing itself has not only made me happy but the fact that I shared my writing online, has changed my life spectacularly. I have met some of the most amazing people. People that I can truly relate to. Because of that, I appreciate my decision in embracing my writing and bravely putting it out there for all to see. Now, I cannot remember my life without writing being in it. I feel like when I found out that writing was something I absolutely love to do, I believe that was the turning point in my life.

9. Do you set yourself deadlines?

Oh hell yeah, I do. I literally have so much planned for my writing and my Naruhina books and I would not get those tasks done if I do not set deadlines. I tend to put myself on a schedule. But I get mad, every, single, time when I do not stay… on schedule. It’s pretty serious over here, haha.

15. Hardest verse to write?

Hmm, this is an interesting question because I’ve written many lines that were just hard to write. Like Naruto’s past in A Crazy Accident. Those scenes were so hard to write due to being highly disturbing. But to really explain Naruto’s crazy behavior, I had to give his past the same energy. So, writing that was hard, and sad. I truly do not want to spoil any of my books so I will just say this.

Writing the last words to a character that is just moments away from dying is SUPER hard. I do not care who it is. A henchmen, some random person, a side character, a character that meant a lot to the story, whatever! Anyone who I’ve written that dies in my story, I have potentially shed many tears before writing. It’s just so sad, ya know. Death is a serious thing and writing about it, knowing that this is the last time I would have to write this character talking or living, just calls upon the waterworks. So, any verse that is the last words of a character before they die, is another thing that is hard to write. It’s so difficult.

27. Best review you ever gotten?

Wow! There are many readers that have sent me TONS of beautiful reviews and comments on my stories. I appreciate every comment my readers give me. All of them touch my heart just the same. But I will drop a few.

A Crazy Accident/ The End:

Demonofthefridge18: Thank you for this story you have written. I absolutely love it. It was so wild from the start and it always had me reading more. I loved the story and I don't know why but I loved how much of an ass Naruto was haha. Me and my addiction to toxic men. I can’t wait to read your next story and I hope for the best for your future.

GabySantha: Looking forward to bound! Can’t wait! This was actually a really nice read!!! I enjoyed every chapter! Congratulations! You have talent in writing! Keep up with the good work! I’m glad that I discovered you.

Bound/ Epilogue: Away With The Storm:

Nakeira13: Oh this was beautiful. I have been reading this story from the very first chapter and I have to say this has been a roller coaster of emotions. The author deserves a big round of applause due to her patience and dedication to this story. Author-chan thanks so much and keep up with the amazing work!

aviesee: As someone who has been following this story since A Crazy Accident and now finishing with Bound, I just want to thank you for this story. I really enjoyed reading it. I just love happy endings, especially after going through so many hardships! More power to your writing.

Enemies Or Lovers/ Epilogue: A New Life:

Queenchass123: Perfect, I loved how you described everything so thoroughly. You never cease to amaze me, keep on blowing my mind & writing great stories.

ChloeLaPomme: It’s definitely my favorite story!! You already knew it but I wanted to say it again, haha. I’m so glad everybody’s fine and happy especially Hinata and Naruto who are spoiling their children so much. Once again, thank you for this awesome, fantasy story.

Is_not_avalible: I love your story’s. This one is definitely my favorite.

The Unknown/ Chapter 9: Extreme Measures:

Aime0704: I’m getting addicted to your story. Reading the ones you wrote feels like my soul is in another universe. My kami. You’re so talented. Every sentence you wrote is so magical. Fufu please do write more.

Overall comment of the entire story: The Unknown:

PeachyUzumaki: Just got done reading your book, “The Unknown.” and I wanted to give my thoughts if that’s okay. (First) I wanna say that I love the details of the book. It definitely gave me the chills lol. (Second) I love how you portrayed Hinata’s friends and Kurama. I’m happy that Hinata had people to defend her. (Skip a few parts due to spoilers) But for real thought, good book, I love your writing, you definitely should give yourself more credit because you do an amazing job with your books.

Naruhina Oneshots/ Chapter 19: ACA/ Bound- Birthday Edition:

Abby_heart1114: Love this!!! So cuteeee, aww, it’s so sweet seeing Naruto get so emotional and relaxing that he finally has a loving family! Hinata is literally the best. She’s his angel.

MangoMann1: You’re so good at writing! Keep up the amazing work!

There are many, many more comments out there that has really touched my heart and made my day. But, I will be going on forever. Thanks so much for the feedback, readers. I couldn't help myself from shouting out a few of my readers comments. They're awesome and I deeply appreciate every single one of them.

31. Easiest part of writing?

Hmm, I believe because I tend to be very creative when it comes to writing; I believe the easiest part for me is coming up with ideas. My mind is filled with lots of things so when I start planning, it doesn’t take me long at all to figure something out to write and I go for it.

38. Do you reread your own stories?

Yes, yes, yes! I am very proud of my stories and the result of them. I absolutely love them and how dark they are. I have written them just the way I have always yearned for in fanfictions. So, reading them never gets old.

40. Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

Wow! I love this question. But I would sayyy… maybe A Crazy Accident but a little dryer when it comes to the lemons and also a little less dark. I see A Crazy Accident, as well as Bound, being a tv series, I guess. I also see Enemies Or Lovers as a movie too. That story would look beautiful on the big screen.

41. One song that captures Enemies Or Lovers?

“Rewrite the Stars” By Zac Efron & Zendaya. I think this song represents the forbidden love Naruto and Hinata have in Enemies Or Lovers. Like literally, the lyrics fit so well!

Once again, thank you @chloelapomme for the questions! I will be happy to answer more! 😁

#This was fun!#Thank you Chloe!#fanfic writer questions!#Please ask me more!#😊😊#Powerful_Niya #✏️ - niya's tag games ✨#💌 - niya's asks ✨

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ad1thi · 4 years ago

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top 5 fanworks of 2020

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

tagged by: @iam93percentstardust, @omg-just-peachy

rated in order of least to most favourite:

1. a helping hand - buckytony, mcu, established relationship, 1k, K+

Bucky wants to shave his beard. Tony helps.

i really enjoy the intimacy involved in acts of service, and there’s always something so small and treasured about shaving,,,the trust involved in letting someone that close to your face with a knife, the intimacy in being no more than a couple of breaths away from each other, the faith that the other person won’t fuck up your face by giving you a weird shave -- i just love the layers to shaving someone else,,,and i just had to make it buckytony. this is a really short fic (as most of my fics are) but i really love it

2. broken pieces (me and you) fit together perfectly - samrhodey, mcu, developing relationship, post IW, 1.5k, K+

After Thanos, after the Snap, after Sam loses everything familiar, he finds Jim.

AU-gust Day 5: Post Apocalyptic AU

i really enjoy samrhodey, i really enjoy the idea of Rhodey only being a couple year’s ahead of Sam and Sam having a big crush on him, i really like the idea of both of them bonding when they join the Avengers post AoU, i really like the idea of this simple, easy relationship developing between them in this very soft and understated way, but ive never actually written them before this fic - which is why im so proud of this fic, because i like the story ive weaved here

3. princely duties - thortony, mcu, asgardian tony AU, meet cute, 1.6k, K+

Thor Odinson, Crown Prince of the Realm of Asgard, Brother of Loki the Silvertongue, son to Frigga the Kind and Odin the Great, was known for a great many things.

He was known for his great looming stature, stranding tall and proud even for an Asgardian, with muscles that rippled and tensed as he walked. He was known for his illustrious hair, a thick blond mane that he'd taken a vow to never cut, braided and cascading down his shoulders in thick waves. He was known for his might on the battlefield, for the terror he struck through the heart of his enemies when he called lighting itself down to rain fire on those who dared oppose him.

He was known for being a gentle prince, for always having an ear open and the time for a pitcher of ale. He was known for the bond he had with his brother Loki - how the two of them had curled around each other at birth, his tiny fist clenched around his brother's equally tiny pinky, and never let go.

But more than any of that, Thor Odinson was known for never taking a Consort, in all his years.

AU-gust Day 9: Royalty AU

Ostensibly, this is a thortony fic, but i really like this fic because of the relationship i wrote for Thor and Loki. i do hope to continue this some day, to expand this verse into a couple of related one shots that show Thor and Tony’s relationship overtime, and develop more on Thor and Loki as brothers because i think we were really robbed of that in the mcu - but this is one of my better AU-gust fills, for sure

4. the things we tell ourselves in the dark - stevetony, emh, skrulls, angst, 1.1k, K

“Still,” he turns away from Tony, because he doesn’t want to hurt him, but if he doesn’t get this out, it might eat him alive, “I was with them for months Tony. Months. How did you not notice? How did you not know it wasn't me?”

this is one of the few stevetony fics ive written all year, because ive sort of fallen out of love with the ship but emh brought it back in full force. i wrote this entire fic in 20 minutes literally the second i finished the Secret Invasion episode because there was such delicious angst and it begged to be written, and im so happy with how this turned out. i personally, am always quite worried that characters sometimes sound OOC in my fics, but i definitely didn’t have that issue with this fic, and i just really enjoyed writing it

5. 1000 lives (for you) - buckytony, mcu, soulmates AU, tws compliant, 14.7k, T

On the 10th of December 1991, the Asset is taken out of cyro, and there is a name on his right wrist.

On the 16th of December 1991, he is sent out to shoot the tyre of a car, and then kill the man and woman inside.

When he returns to base, there is a boy, no older than 17, chained to the wall of his room, shivering and bravely fighting back tears.

It does not occur to the Asset until much later than these two events are connected.

AU-gust Day 3: Soulmates AU

this is currently my largest fic till date, and it is such a labour of love. i don’t think ive ever worked this hard, or this long on a fic, and it’s definitely the fic i am the most proud of from 2020. im having so much fun writing this, and im really hoping that everybody reading this is really enjoying it too because i have so many ideas for this verse and it’s possibly one of my favourite things ive written ever -- not just this year

Bonus: the morning after - mcdanno, hawaii 5 o, established relationship, 1k, T

“I know I say this a lot,” Danny’s voice is still gruff with sleep, and he peers at Steve with one eye, as if opening both is too bright for him. He’s half twisted so he can face Steve, and the show of flexibility isn’t helping with Steve’s mission to keep things PG-13, “but today - you are literally a pain in my ass.”

i very recently got into hawaii 5 o, but i truly love these idiots with all my heart and soul, and it’s been so long since i immersed myself in a new fandom or wrote for any other characters, so i wanted to celebrate that by choosing my favourite h5o fic from this year. the thing about mcdanno is that they really do write themselves, and there’s so much potential with them that a lot of what i write is stuff you can truly imagine just happens off screen on the show. anyway, Danny is always calling Steve a pain in his ass, and i just thought it would be funny if Steve was literally a pain in this ass, and then this small one shot happened

those are my top 5 fanworks of 2020!! tagging @deathsweetqueen, @diazalex, @rhodee, @aleator, @starklysteve and as always, anybody else who feels like doing this!!

#tumblr tagged memes #my writing #buckytony #samrhodey #stevetony #thortony #mcdanno

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being-worthy · 4 years ago

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Saturday Home Cinema: Mulan (2020) - A very honest review!

I just had to write this review because Mulan is one of my heroes and I’m a huge fan of the original Disney Mulan (1998). I saw the movie for the first time as a kid when I had trouble feeling integrated and was daily bullied at school. I re-watched it again and again and again until I was able to learn by heart the script and all the songs in German (and later on, even in English). I just saw so much of myself in Mulan (maybe except for the fact that I’m not as beautiful or witty as she is). I too always felt out of place and I couldn’t be my true self and I was never very ladylike either. I also looked up at her and saw her as a role model. Sometimes I thought that if I stared long enough at my reflection in the mirror, it’d show me my true self - and I’m still waiting to this day… Disney’s 1998 version of Mulan was and still is my favourite Disney movie.

> SPOILER ALERT AHEAD!! <

The best thing about this movie is the soundtrack, especially at the end. Christina Aguilera was the right choice to sing Reflection and Loyal Brave True. The goosebumps her voice gives, I can’t even describe how extraordinary her voice is. In the end credits, you can listen to the English version of Reflection as well as the Chinese version (sadly sung by Liu Yifei ¬¬). It’s worth to watch the end credits and listen to the songs.

*My suggestion: Stop whatever you’re doing. Put on some headphones (even better if they’re noise-cancelling), close your eyes, play the song Reflection song (and Loyal Brave True if you feel like it) by Christina Aguilera, no distractions no interruptions, forget about everything and everyone, let the song flow through your ears, mind, heart, body, and soul, and you will feel like you’re Mulan, especially when the drumming gets louder, it’s epically epic! (Sorry for the redundancy but it IS a remarkable song!)

I welcome the idea of wanting to take a classic and do something new, something fresh with it but humanity could’ve gone without this movie and they shouldn’t ask for $35 to watch it on Disney+ and sometimes a classical doesn’t need to be redone. Additionally, I can’t entirely understand what’s going on these past years not only with Disney but Hollywood and all other big movie production companies. It’s either remake of this classic or a 2nd/3rd sequel of a movie that doesn’t actually require a sequel but it’s still done anyway. Why even bother wasting big amounts of money to create a disaster? You’re better of donating that money to charity (or to me lol). The main thing that Disney has been doing lately are remakes of many of our childhood movies Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, Dumbo, The Jungle Book, The Lion King, among others, and now Mulan. Some have a few good parts in them but they still can’t and never will compare to the original. Why is there no originality and innovation anymore? Have they run out of ideas? Furthermore, let’s be honest people will always compare the remake (either consciously or unconsciously) with the original because there are less than a dozen movies where the remake either was (almost) as good as the original much less better than the original. The movie Mulan (2020) had a massive budget and is the most expensive film made by a female director (Niki Caro), yet how they made it, the battle sequences and CGI effects, etc. they’re all crappy.

Budgets of all Mulan interpretations:

Mulan (1998) - $90 million > Directed by Tony Bancroft and Barry Cook. Made $304.3 million in the box office

Hua Mulan (2009) - $12 million > Directed by Jingle Ma. Sadly, made only $1.8 million in the box office. It deserved more love!

Mulan (2020) - $200 million(!!) > All that budget was a waste!

I’ve seen all three versions. The 1998 version is for everybody and it’s funny and you feel with the characters and the film. Let’s be honest, the granny is one of the best characters, most of us have or had a granny like that in our lives. The 2nd one is a 2-hour long movie, a more mature adaption which illustrates the ugly harsh truth about war and the loss and death it brings with it and that there’s nothing funny or cool about it. This one is not suitable for children. You feel with the characters and their sacrifices and they also develop along the movie. I can only recommend to watch this version if you haven’t. And the latest one is a disgrace.

I’m a bit confused as to what the message of the movie is. On one hand, it tells you shouldn’t hide your inner beauty, you shouldn’t hide who you are, you shouldn’t hide your abilities, you shouldn’t try to hide who you truly are in order to conform to what the world/society wants you to be or who you should be, let your true self shine and be yourself and don’t allow anyone to tell you that you’re inferior just because they think/say you are. This is something powerful and admirable but, on the other hand, at the same time, it tells you that you can only do that if you are the chosen one. Let me explain... In the beginning, we see Mulan as a little girl chasing a chicken up to the roofs of the houses at the village where she lives. Basically, she’s born as a one-woman army (almost deus ex machina) and doesn’t require any further training which is total and utter rubbish. She has all the skills because of her powerful chi (vital life force energy) but has to underplay them because it’s not very ladylike to behave like she wants to and she still underplays them when she trains with the soldiers so as to keep a low profile. Her being so powerful from the beginning makes me feel alienated from her and I can’t empathise with her. It’s also not very realistic, nobody is born with their abilities fully developed. For example, even Bruce Lee had to train hard to get where he got and he wasn’t the only one.

The original version shows us a regular girl, at times clumsy (which is a cliché but we still liked it) and when she’s confronted with new situations, she analyses them and finds a quick canny solution to them. She also has to train her body and mind to get to the peak of her potential and accomplish what nobody else could in her time, and here the character is done from the start of the movie and the only thing she has to do is choose not to hide her chi anymore. This tells us that you don’t have to work hard to achieve your dreams whereas in reality you actually do have to work your butt off!

I’m not a fan of the leading actress they chose for Mulan, aka Liu Yifei, not only because she’s a police brutality supporter according to her controversial tweets a while back - this already makes her unworthy to portray Mulan who is the complete opposite - but also because she didn’t do a good job at depicting this great role. Mulan is a role model for every girl and woman and it’s a massive contradiction if a woman who agrees to the atrocious police methods impersonates her role. What message do we send out to every girl out in the world? In her acting she’s this blank and hollow person through the movie and transmits no emotion whatsoever - not even when she cries. This also makes it difficult for me to identify myself with her. She’s this wooden plank, she is and stays a blank canvas through the whole movie with no growth in her character and it’s frustrating having to see this because the character of Mulan isn’t at all like this. Mulan experiences many emotions from the moment where she makes the decision to enlist so her father doesn’t have to or when she experiences the loss of her comrades or has to kill someone for the first time, etc. she suffers along her journey and all this changes her but you see nothing of it in Liu Yifei’s Mulan.

In the Disney version, there are some crucial moments that are missing in the new one. For instance, the most crucial one is the moment where Mulan decides to go to war. If you remember the animation one, she’s sitting in the rain by the dragon statue and at that moment makes a decision that could kill her or worse bring dishonour to herself and her entire family (including ancestors) which was far worse than death during that time! She gets up, marches to the altar of her ancestors, takes her father’s sword and cuts her hair (I know men had long hair back then too but still), puts on the armour and goes to war. All this while being accompanied by an epic song written by Jerry Goldsmith called Haircut. This is one of the most intense and dramatic moments in the movie and in all Disney movies! You can understand and feel the importance of this decision for the character and you feel the weight of it! In the 2020 one, she takes the sword and the next shot presents her already with the armour on - there’s zero dramatic impact here. That was a great missed opportunity!! By omitting important scenes and their dramatic impacts like this one that are essential to the story and to the characters, to their development and their journey throughout the story and you really need to rely on the original from 1998 to have this context.

The battle scenes are like many modern movies: lots of action, lots of moving (too fast-moving), a few amazing fighting moves and fights but not showed entirely. I at least expected some similar quality, like we’ve seen in films such as Hero (2002), House of Flying Daggers (2004), and Tiger & Dragon (2020) to name a few. Sadly, these movies had better fight scenes quality than Mulan which were filmed in high frame rate but over-edited with action that is negatively frenetic and have artificial CGI effects (even the CGI effects in Independence Day were better - I’m watching the movie while writing this). We’re in the 21st century with great advances in technology and movies are given big budgets (particularly Hollywood films), yet despite all this, most movies end up with CGI effects from another era. How come this happens over and over? In this one, we see people running too fast, horses running too fast, and they’re all like a big mass of headless chickens and you don’t know exactly what is happening where. All this fast running, the constant cut and paste of scenes looks all too modern and doesn’t fit the current time period of the movie and it surely doesn’t transmit the way of fighting of that period.

Moreover, we get lots of flashback-lesson learning scenes throughout the movie. This is another fashion in movies lately, playing the film in the present time while at the same time jumping back and forth between flashbacks. It spends a good portion of the movie with these flashbacks. This is not a big issue and admirable per se but when these scenes are insignificant because they’re glossed over and transmitted without zilch emotion, then why even bother to include them in the first instance?

As a last comment, I like the fact that they hired Chinese actors and actresses for the movie (although I don’t know why it had to be in English, I’d have preferred it to be in Chinese, it’s not like we’re allergic to subtitles - unless they’re not done properly), some of them of renewed name, like Gong Li, Rosalind Chao (I loved her in The Joy Luck Club), Jet Li, Donnie Yen (legendary Ip Man), Jason Scott Lee (saw him in Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story), Tzi Ma but they won’t be able to save the movie even with a great cast like this one.

#disney mulan #disney mulan 2020 #mulan live action #saturday home cinema #boycott mulan #don't watch it #don't watch mulan #don't watch mulan 2020 #disney should be ashamed #honest review #a very honest review #film night #movie night

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seercayder · 3 years ago

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No but I feel as though artists are probably experiencing one of the most hostile years of posting art online that they’ve ever experienced for maybe forever. And I mean this for both amateur artists and professionals (with maybe a lil bit of bias since I also do The Art).

Tumblr’s nudity ban has crippled any piece that is either NSFW or uses nudity as artistic expression and it ultimately drove away both the artists themselves and a lot of their fans, which destroyed any remaining traction for the artists who managed to remain. Tumblr is no longer an artistic freedom-friendly site and it shows, which is a fucking shame bc they genuinely have one of the better tagging systems than other sites and I believe that most feedback on art there has been positive and friendly, which has now gone the way of the dinosaur much like Deviantart.

Twitter has problems with image compression but their biggest issue is toxic abuse, which I find to be the most damaging to artists out of all the other problems i’m listing here. Both the lure of anonymity and the mindset that ‘Speak Loud In Little Words To Make Point Means You Are Important And Right’ has fuelled the absolutely vile comments I have seen directed at artists on the site. Although it’s mainly aimed at fanartists and ship artists, I have noticed unwanted (even rude) criticism on immaculate, well-done art pieces, which is extremely belittling and insulting because the artist (although they may be open to criticism) if they haven’t asked for criticism then that means that they are not in the right mindset to receive any, and therefore it is not your place to throw disparaging comments at them.

But the biggest issue with abuse on Twitter is obviously aimed at fan-artists, especially those those that draw NSFW or “problematic” content. I could go into a whole spiel about how a drawing of a fictional character doesn’t affect reality but in short: If you find disturbing art of a non-existent character (or hey, even non-disturbing art, it’s just something you don’t like) then ignore it. Don’t go and fucking bully the artist you psychopath. If it is truly illegal then report the piece and then see if it gets taken down. Because 90% of the time it won’t be taken down because it doesn’t go against guidelines and you’re just trying to police the site like you’re the thought-police, monitoring other peoples art as if you have the god-given right to. And if you’re a minor stay the fuck out of 18+ accounts. Don’t comment, don’t follow, don’t even look. I am absolutely amazed by the mindset that some children have to waltz into a space not made for them and having the balls to insult the 18+ artist, who have specifically said “no minors”, for posting icky content. It gets even worse when you see how they abuse the Privatter or Curiouscat links the Twitter artists provide, made for anonymous feedback or for being the final barrier for an adult piece that says “hey this stuff is NSFW, don’t click if you are underage, last warning”. I’m gonna go into this more when I cover TikTok in the next few paragraphs. But ultimately, the artists on that site are having to be constantly vigilant against abuse, and it’s not unusual for them having to spend hours going through their 1K+ followers and having to block every underage follower who just didn’t fucking listen to their warnings. Imagine how exhausting and irritating and down-right uncomfortable that must be; having to monitor every fan that sees your work out of fear that they’re a minor seeing adult content or that they could throw abusive comments at you. Horrible.

Instagram is saturated with bots attempting to steal your work or advertise it on their own page and feedback isn’t really a ‘thing’ on there. Also, their algorithm (which may have also been implemented on Twitter, I believe that the Twitter algorithm now avoids promoting popular artist terms, but I can’t be certain bc the Twitter post that pointed this out is long-lost in the depths of my timeline, bc again, no tagging system) is based more around sharing than likes, which can be a huge barrier to artists. Sure, you may like someones art and even leave a nice comment on it, but do you really want to share every piece you come across, especially if it’s not something you would show dear Aunty Susan who follows you? It’s infuriating that a whole site dedicated for images is so difficult to use for artists, and with Instagram implementing features that are similar to Snapchats ‘stories’ it’s clear they’ve moving in a different direction, focusing on momentary attention-grabbing photos. This is simply because Instagram is advertising itself as more of a promotional influencer site nowadays, and anything that could sully their reputation has to be thrown into the algorithm trash. NSFW art or just plain ‘bad’ art? Trash. If you’re not gonna make money for them then why should they bother? You wanna promote your art? Pay for it because the algorithm will absolutely be working against you.

Now, the biggest fucking offender for worst art-sharing site of the year is TikTok (no surprise there), which is absolutely rampant with reposts and uncredited artwork and a gateway for abusive comments against artists. Like the Ouroboros snake, it goes through the same pattern every time; People (usually minors) find art on Twitter or Pinterest and repost it, usually without credit or going against the artist’s wishes about reposting. Then it either goes two-ways: Firstly, if the piece is SFW it will get about five-seconds of interest, a like for the reposter and people will then just move on. TikTok is built entirely around short bursts of satisfaction, feeding a a constant loop of serotonin for a few seconds before you move on. So ultimately, people rarely then hunt down the original artist, especially if their credit isn’t readily available, and usually the original artists doesn’t see any rise in likes, followers or popularity and are usually unaware that their art is even getting any attention on TikTok.

Or, if the art is NSFW, it can go down the second way. It is reposted and, as the majority of TikTok users are under-18, many users find the image uncomfortable, especially if it is a bit more ‘out-there’ or of a ship they don’t like. The reposters sometimes find the image off of Privatter, which is even worse since the piece has been posted to Privatter not just as a final barrier against minors, but also as a form of directing the piece to a specific and niche audience due to it’s... spicer than usual NSFW content. I’m talking really specific pieces with really specific kinks. Now that piece is floating around TikTok, widely seen by the general fans of a fandom, who again, are usually underage. The viewers grow uncomfortable, as the piece is not made for them, especially since sometimes the reposter only posted the piece for shock-value, and would even encourage insulting comments by only posting the credits for the purpose of getting fans to throw abuse at the artist (”The artist is ***** but they ship **** and are icky”) and so the viewers finally decide to make the effort to hunt down the original artist, only to throw insulting and bullying comments at them, made worse by the fact that they are children who don’t have the sense to hold back and have been fuelling their mindset in the echo-chamber that is TikTok.

And as a result of a lot of this hostile feedback for artists, it is becoming increasingly difficult to find a space for amateur artists who are just starting out, since the art community is becoming a little bit scary. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that new (or not even new but recently promoted) sites such as Artstation are becoming a better place for professional artists only, but it is very intimidating for learner artists. That’s not necessarily a bad thing - I believe that part of the reason for Deviantarts decline was that the tagging system was horrible, so good art was being drowned out by amateur, fetish content, so more advanced artists were distancing themselves from the site, especially if they were trying to build a portfolio for employment. I also find that fanart usually gets far more likes than more original art pieces, even if the original piece is amazingly good, which isn’t a criticism against fanart but posting your original piece on a site more aimed at professional pieces may help you reach your target audience better and improve likes and interaction. However, that does mean that if you are an amateur, or hell, just an average artists who is still learning, your best bet for exposure is posting your piece across multiple sites and very, very regularly, braving any abusive comments if you try anything slightly “spicy”. Which, obviously, become a very potentially toxic atmosphere and it’s not uncommon for artists to feel burn-out or depressed at their lack of attention or the cyber-bullying they may receive.

I’m not trying to say that posting artwork has always been easy, but there is definitely a more aggressive culture surrounding it and I think artists have to be aware that chances are they will face insulting comments, reposters, frustrating algorithms, cyber-bullying, a lack of interaction and burn-out as they try and appeal to websites that would do the bare minimum for you in terms of promotion.

This isn’t meant to be a post to scare away artists, I just wanted to point out that there is a big fucking problem and it feels as though it’s getting worse. Nowadays, websites have become a bit too comfortable targeting creators rather than fans when it comes to monitoring content and artists have been put under more and more pressure as they face more and more abuse that is rarely addressed, especially by the sites themselves that host the content. Things that are a huge punch in the face for artists, such as NFT’s, are becoming more normalised and it’s honestly just sad.

#art #sorry for the long post but I get passionate about art #and I feel like every day i'm seeing more and more cyber abuse towards artists and it's honestly depressing #artists #twitter #instagram #tumblr #tagging is the best invention and i'm confused why Twitter doesn't even have a better system for it

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thatsaweirdwaytospellundead · 4 years ago

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Senribana Monogatari 10/11

Summary: Due to Citron’s work as the Zahran Minister of Culture and Arts there has been a surge in interest in foreign culture in Zahra. Prince Tangerine gives his brother a call, but it seems he has more on his mind than just an invitation..

Note: This event references a popular Japanese fairytale titled “The Story of the Old Man Who Made Withered Trees to Blossom”, I encourage you to read it here!

This is a 10 part story with an epilogue.

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9] [part 10]

Epilogue “The Story of the Old Man Who Made Withered Trees to Blossom”

This is a chapter that features the title play of this event! You can read the full translation of the play with pictures here!

This chapter is very long! It references two actual Kabuki plays, “Five Men of the White Waves” and “Wait a Minute”.

Characters

Citron as Sahul (Yukimaru)

Azuma as Yukinojou

Itaru as Matsunosuke

Hisoka as Fukumaru

Homare as Fujisaka

Sakuya as Ogino

Yukinojou

“And somehow or other, more than when it began, I find myself wondering through this endless purgatory. My wish of dragging Confucianism and Buddhism to hell have only withered away.”

Sahul

Ohh..

Izumi

(Just as I thought when we were assigning roles, Azuma’s stage presence is incredible. Everyone’s eyes are focused on him.

Sahul sees this performance and is immediately captivated by Yukinojou’s stage presence. After the show he goes to Yukinojou’s dressing room and begs to be his student..)

Sahul

Please, take me as your student!

Yukinojou

What?

Matsunosuke

What’s the meaning of this? Hey you, it says ‘No unauthorised personnel allowed’.

Yukinojou

It’s alright. I want to hear what he has to say.

Matsunosuke

Are you sure?

Yukinojou

He did come all the way here. I don’t think he is here to be rude, right? Are you serious about wanting to become my student?

Sahul

Yes! Please! I am willing to do anything, even the work of just a servant! Please, I ask that you take me as your student!

Yukinojou

I am not so sure..

Matsunosuke

I’m going to call security.

Yukinojou

No, not yet. Alright, I’ll give you a chance, boy.

Sahul

SERIOUSLY!?

Matsunosuke

Are you for real? I thought you never took on students?

Yukinojou

It wouldn’t hurt to try taking just one student. I think it’s fine.

Sahul

I’ll try my very best!

Yukinojou

Alright, I will speak with Mr. Yamashita about your housing arrangements.

Sahul

Thank you!

Yukinojou

Do you have any further questions for me?

Sahul

Well.. When exactly do I start?

Yukinojou

Well well, now let’s not get ahead of ourselves. How about we first get you acquainted to our customs before we do anything else.

Sahul

Of course! I leave myself in your care!

Yukinojou

Hmm, so first we need to give you a name. Typically a name is derived from one of the characters of the teacher’s name… So how about we take the “Yuki (snow)” from my name and give you the name “Yukimaru”?

Sahul

Yukimaru.. Thank you so much!

Matsunosuke

So then, what did you really think about that kid?

Yukinojou

If you’re trying to give me advice I am not here for it.

Matsunosuke

Have you not heard what the elders are saying?

He may dream of becoming a Kabuki actor but for real, taking a foreigner under your wing so suddenly? He’s already turning heads.

Yukinojou

He’s got a lot of spunk. I believe he has done his homework.

Matsunosuke

I just don’t want you wasting your time with this kid with a whole future ahead of him who just happens to have some flashy clothes and elegant demeanor.

Yukinojou

.. I understand where you’re coming from.

Yukinojou

This flower is very pretty.

Yamashita

It was made by your very own Yukimaru.

Yukinojou

!? Yukimaru made it?

Yamashita

And he even cleaned up nicely.

He has been doing a very good job.

Yukinojou

I see..

Sahul

Master, I’m home!

Yukinojou

Tell me, have you been adjusting well to our culture?

Sahul

Yes, and it is all thanks to your guidance.

Since the very beginning I have yearned to live in this country, how could I not but enjoy myself?

From the first time I saw Kabuki on TV, I have yearned to study this beautiful art form no matter it would take me or how I would learn it. I just knew it was what I wanted. Being able to see this world I have only imagined has only broadened my horizons as if I was living in a dream.

Yukinojou

So, I guess you really are..

Sahul

Master?

Yukinojou

.. Ready to begin training soon.

Sahul

SERIOUSLY!? THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Fujisaka

Hmm, what wonderful form. Alrighty, how about you show me what you know.

Sahul

Okay!

Fujisaka

W-Where did you learn to do Japanese Buyo!?

Sahul

I happened to find a teacher some years ago.. About 10 years ago.

Fujisaka

That’s great.You have more passion than I imagined.

Sahul

Thank you very much.

Izumi

(It’s just like Citron said before, Japanese Buyo really comes naturally to him.

The role of Fujisaka also really brings out Homare’s elegant side. The traits of both Fujisaka and Homare are a great match, it’s perfect.

After Buyo, Sahul goes to learn Nagauta, it’s a type of long story told as the performer plays the shamisen.)

Sahul

Thank you very much.

Ogino

.. I’m going to head out first.

Sahul

W-Wait..

Ogino

Sahul

My playing wasn’t weird, was it? If there’s anything you notice I would like to know—

Ogino

Well there’s nothing in particular.

Sahul

Really!? Thank you! See you next week!

Ogino

Yeah, okay.

Fujisaka

And haven’t you heard his incredible Nagauta performance?

Yukinojou

Wait who?

Fujisaka

Yukimaru of course!

Yukinojou

Oh, yes..

Fujisaka

That boy’s a born genius!

He’s the cream of the crop, I have never seen anyone like him! If only there was somewhere he could go to use his talents. I have no doubts his talents will flourish wherever he goes. It’s such a shame. Becoming a Kabuki actor would truly be difficult for someone like him. Not only is he foreign, but he has no titles nor any powerful sponsors to back him. Oh and not to mention he is starting awfully late.

Yukinojou

......

Fujisaka

Well anyway, I am sure you have been thinking about his future since you’re his teacher after all.

Yukinojou

.... Yes, of course.

Fujisaka

However I find him to be a very interesting pick for someone like you, the son of a commoner.

Matsunosuke

Hey—

Yukinojou

Oh, it’s rare to see you here.

Matsunosuke

Well you know I had to come greet my partner before the performance.

Yukinojou

You say that but this is the first time you have ever done it.

Matsunosuke

Soooo is that kid here today?

Yukinojou

He is at dance practice right now.

Matsunosuke

Hmm, practice huh. Just how long do you plan to keep that kid around for anyway?

Yukinojou

Well..

Sahul

I’m baaccckkk, yooo!

Oh, are you a visitor?

Matsunosuke

Oh, you’re looking better than I expected.

Sahul

W-Welcome!

Matsunosuke

.. Hmmm.

Sahul

Umm?

Who was that man?

Yukinojou

Yanase Matsunosuke.

He is the noble son of the Yanase family.

And loved by the God of Kabuki.

Sahul

Oh, is that so?

Well I for one think the God of Kabuki is also looking down upon you, great master.

Yukinojou

Well actually— I did not exactly have the easiest time getting into this industry myself.

Izumi

(The contrast between Sahul’s carefree nature and Yukinojou’s deep skepticism is so captivating.

Itaru’s performance as Matsunosuke is also really nice. He really captures the confidence of a man of noble birth.)

Fukumaru

HAH!

Sahul

Wow.. So that’s how you do somersault..

Actor A

So you are Yukinojou’s student.. ?

Sahul

Nice to meet you!

Actor A

Well to get you started you first need to master the basic starting position and then—

Fukumaru

I heard you studied Nagauta and dance in your home country so I am sure you can do a simple somersault, right?

Actor A

Hmm yeah, I heard you are pretty strong, right?

Sahul

Well umm.. I.. I have never done a somersault before and umm..

Fukumaru

Come on, give it a try! Why don’t you give it a shot, you are a student after all. I am sure you have enough guts to at least give it a shot, right?

Sahul

Alright, I’ll try.

Actor A

WATCH OUT

Fukumaru

Hmm.. Being brave and being reckless are two different things you know.!

Sahul

O-Oww..

B-But!

Fukumaru

What is it?

Sahul

Please teach me how to somersault! I was moved by the beauty of your somersault you did earlier!

Fukumaru

You want me to teach.. — You know it’s not something that you can simply learn overnight.

Sahul

I am sorry for asking..

Fukumaru

You know I don’t see any real potential in you. And not to rain on your parade, but I’m not the only one either, Yukinojou’s master also, well..

Sahul

Huh!?

Fukumaru

Hurry and just give up now and go back to your country.

Izumi

(Hisoka is amazing at those somersaults. I can tell that even though the audience may not understand the words he is saying, he does an excellent job showing off his skill.)

Actor A

I think it’s time we start heading back.

Sahul

Thank you so much for helping me!

Actor B

Don’t overdo it.

Sahul

Okay!

HAH!

UWAAHH!

O-Oww oww..

This sure is hard..

Fukumaru

Are you stupid?

Do you really think if just recklessly try it over and over you’ll do it?

Sahul

Is that not it?

Fukumaru

I’ll help you out so try again.

Sahul

Are you sure?

Fukumaru

You gotta learn those three disciplines by the end of today after all.

Sahul

OKAY!

Fukumaru

You gotta be more aggressive.

Sahul

OKAY!

I’m gonna try!

HAH!

— I-I did it..

I DID IT!

Thank you so much!

Fukumaru

You’re really dumb.

.. But, maybe you do have what it takes.

Izumi

(He kept practicing over and over without being able to even do a single somersault..

This is the true sign of Citron’s perseverance, he really worked hard against all odds.

Sahul throws himself completely into the world of Kabuki and his hardwork shows through his training, just like how Citron devoted all his attention to developing his character.)

Izumi

(As Sahul is training and growing, Yukinojou makes plans for his first performance..)

Sahul

Good morning!

Matsunosuke

Hey Yukimaru, assistants need to wait over there.

Sahul

B-But I am Yukinojou’s student—

Matsunosuke

Do you really think it’s worth it to put so much effort into practicing even though you’ll never stand on stage? If you’re just doing this for a hobby you can leave.

Sahul

.....

Yukinojou

That’s enough.

Matsunosuke

I am only being honest. Yukimaru will never become a Kabuki actor no matter how hard he works.

Guys like him are a dime a dozen. They can train as hard as they want and long for the stage, but the result is all the same.

This kid has no titles, no wealthy sponsor, is completely inexperienced, and on top of all that, he’s foreign. Did you really think you would get any support from the elders or your fans?

Yukinojou, this is what I have been trying to tell you from the beginning.

Sahul

Umm.. I.. Please excuse me, I’ll just go wait over there.

Yukinojou

Yukimaru..

Nagauta Teacher

You seem a bit distracted today. How about we end the lesson here?

Sahul

My apologies..

Ogino

Good job.

Sahul

Yeah, good job.

Ogino

.. Umm, can I ask, is there something wrong?

Sahul

Ogino, why did you choose to learn the shamisen?

Ogino

Huh? Me? Umm.. Well, I have always loved it since I was a child.

Sahul

You loved the sound..

Ogino

I guess, what are you trying to get at?

Sahul

Nothing, thank you so much! I’ll see you next time!

Ogino

I don’t know what I did but.. I’m glad you seem happier.

Izumi

(Without hesitation, Ogino tells Sahul why he loves the shamisen. This puts Sahul’s heart at ease.. This was a perfect choice for Sakuya.)

Sahul

Umm, could I have a word?

Matsunosuke

Hmm?

Sahul

Even if I can’t stand on the stage now.. I will continue to work hard until the day I can make my dream a reality.

I do not think my hard work is all for nothing. I really love Kabuki.

Matsunosuke

Hmm.. Okay fine, do whatever you want.

Yukinojou

Yukimaru is pretty amazing. I am sure he could teach me a thing or two.

Matsunosuke

I have noticed your demeanor has changed, you seem more like a teacher now.

Hey, Yukimaru, why don’t you try being my stage hand.

Sahul

What!? For real!?

Yukinojou

Yes, I think this is great timing.

Matsunosuke

You won’t stand out if you’re dressed in all black.

Sahul

I’ll do my best!

Izumi

(And now the day of Sahul’s debut performance has arrived..)

Sahul

(I gotta move the katana over here..)

Ack!

Damn, I dropped it..!)

Yukinojou

Come come, take this..

Sahul

(Oh, saved by my master..)

Matsunosuke

If you’re gonna be clumsy like that on stage there’s no point in trying a second time.

Sahul

My deepest apologies..

Yukinojou

Please don’t get discouraged.

Sahul

.....

Matsunosuke

Fine. I’ll give you one chance. I’ll give you a shot at playing Benten Kozo from “Five Men of the White Waves”. If you look good, you’ll get my approval. If you don’t, then you’re better off finding a different career path.

Yukinojou

This has nothing to do with what we were talking about earlier. I don’t think giving him a test has any relation to his mistake he made tonight.

Matsunosuke

But you told me to give him a chance. This is a make or break situation, it’s all up to Yukimaru.

Sahul

.. I’ll try. Please give me a chance!

Ogino

They’re really letting you play Benten Kozo this time?

Sahul

Eh, how did you know?

Ogino

Matsunosuke has been telling everyone, word has really gotten around quick.

Sahul

O-oh, is that so?

Ogino

If you need some help with the shamisen, I got you.

Sahul

Thank you so much.

Ogino

Good luck!

Fujisaka

So you’re really going to play Benten?

Sahul

Umm, yes. This is kinda like a test for me.

Fujisaka

Well then seems like you role study will be the same as anyone else’s. I gotta make sure I give you my best guidance.

Yukinojou

It seems like everyone is more excited for Yukimaru’s performance than the man himself.

Sahul

It’s just I feel as if this is some sort of punishment for my mistake, I’m so sorry.

Yukinojou

You are an honest boy, Yukimaru. I have no doubts that your emotions will resonate amongst the audience.

Sahul

But.. I really don’t think I am good enough yet..

Yukinojou

I said what I said. In fact, you could say I was the one learning from you.

When I look at you, I see a boy who wholeheartedly loves Kabuki. I see a boy that reminds me of myself when I first entered this industry. Because I love Kabuki.. That is the most important reason of all for me to be here.

I have forgotten all of the mean comments and whispers amongst my peers. The only thing that mattered was that I love Kabuki and that is what brought me here.

Sahul

I could see your love for this art through your acting and dancing. That is why I had asked you to be my teacher.

Yukinojou

Is that so.. Thank you so much, thank you, Yukimaru. Thank you for being my student.

Izumi

(Yukinojou gives Sahul a soft smile to show his gratitude when he realises his feelings had reached Sahul. Wow, that expression is very Azuma-like.

Their performance seems like it is really resonating with the rest of the crowd, I can see Yukinojou and Sahul are both equally moved. Citron has quite a way with communication even without words.

I feel like the audience can really sympathise with Sahul.)

Sahul

If ya don’t know, I’ll tell ya. Just as Goemon’s death poem says, there are as many thieves in this world as there are grains of sand on Shichirigahama beach.

I am one of those thieves who once worked as a page boy on Enoshima Island.I began stealing gifts from temples in Edo.

Soon the money I stole began to pile up more and more.

It is me, the one and only Benten Kozo Kikunosuke.

Matsunosuke

Wow, so you really did make it to the end. You passed.

Sahul

Thank you so much!

Matsunosuke

Next time make sure not to make any mistakes.

Sahul

Yes! Thank you!

Matsunosuke

The reception will be the last judge. I wonder if this will be enough to warm up the elders to the idea of Yukimaru in Kabuki.

Yukinojou

Taking Sahul as my student was already against the norms of the Kabuki industry.

However I also think I have much to learn, just like him. For Yukimaru’s sake, I will also work hard to rise to the top.

Matsunosuke

I see you have been preparing yourself as well.

Izumi

(Sahul masters the role of Benten Kozo. I can see the result of Citron’s hard work in the scene where Sahul gains recognition for his performance.)

Izumi

(And now we jump to a couple years later..)

Yukinojou

And how about for our play ‘Wait a Moment’?

Yukinojou’s Teacher

It has gained a lot of recognition overseas. It is surprising to see you making such rapid progress. You are even getting offers from sponsors. I think this is a good time to take them up on those deals.

Yukinojou

First.. May I make a selfish request?

Yukinojou’s Teacher

Sure.

Yukinojou

Will you give Yukimaru a part?

Yukinojou’s Teacher

Hey hey now, let’s not go that far..

Yukinojou

He has already received the approval from other teachers in both his acting and performance. I am sure he would make quite the stir if we are taking our performance overseas.

After all, everyone has said he is the best of the best. Even you can agree to that, right?

However if I remember the much decorated and beloved Uzaemon from the Meiji era was also said to have foreign blood running through his veins.

I am who I am today because of Yukimaru. Yukimaru has the power to capture the hearts of many with his performance. So I beg of you, please.

Yukinojou’s Teacher

Hmm hmm.. I need to ask about this one, I won’t make any promises.

Sahul

Master, are you really going to perform overseas!? Congratulations!

Yukinojou

Oh, Yukimaru, you are also going to be performing with me.

Sahul

HUH!?

Yukinojou

You will be standing on the same stage as me.

Sahul

ARE YOU SERIOUS!?

Izumi

(And now is the time for Sahul to finally stand on stage in his home country.)

Sahul

I have come to the Imperial Court to return this treasure that I have stolen.

Matsunosuke

A thief can only atone for their crimes with their life. Servants, tonight this man’s execution will serve as our entertainment.

Subordinate

Hah, yes understood.

Yukinojou

Wait just a minute!

Izumi

(Citron really captures Sahul’s character in this performance. Both him and Sahul are finally standing on stage in their home country, performing for their people.

I am sure everyone else can feel the same energy.)

Citron

<< Thank you so much! >>

Azuma

<< Thank you so much! >>

Itaru

<< Thank you. >>

Homare

<< THANK YOU! THANK YOU! >>

Sakuya

<< Thank you so much! >>

Hisoka

<< Thank you. >>

Audience A

<< CITRON! >>

Audience B

<< CITRON! >>

Izumi

(Wow, everyone is cheering for Citron.

It seems like the audience could see Citron’s hard work and effort he put into his part. The atmosphere feels warm and welcoming. >>

Navel

<< Amazing.. >>

Orange

<< .. Our older brother isn’t a bad guy after all. I don’t feel any malice toward him either.)

Tangerine

<< Dear brother, good job on your performance! It was really amazing! >>

Mika

<< I have never seen anything so amazing! >>

Citron

<< You praise too much. >>

Tangerine

<< But of course, I am sure I am not the only one who thought your performance was great. >>

Citron

Huh?

Orange

....

Citron

Orange, Navel..

Orange

<< I have decided to study abroad. >>

Citron

<< What? >>

Orange

<< I plan to speak with the king after this.

Perhaps our request to study abroad may seem like we are running away, but it is really the opposite. We are still lacking in experience. We have only ever known this palace.

After watching your performance we were able to understand this.

We would like to see many more things just like you, dear brother.

We want to meet new people and understand different cultures.. Your performance was so amazing it inspired us to want to set out on our own journey abroad. >>

Navel

<< M-Me too. I want to see sakura blossoms in real life one day. >>

Citron

<< .. I understand. I am very happy to hear that as the Minister of Foreign Arts and Culture. >>

Guy

They are having a serious conversation.

Azuma

Fufu. It’s good.

Izumi

I am sure things will slowly begin to change from now on.

Chikage

Oh come to think of it, shouldn’t we tell our troupe mates back in Japan how the play went?

Izumi

Oh, yes!

(”The play finished up without a problem”..)

.. And what about a picture?

[LIME] Kazunari

Good work! Oh, the sakura are gonna bloom soon!

Izumi

When we return it will be just about spring time.

Homare

The spring that melts the snow.. Seems like coming to Zahra put us one step ahead.

Azuma

So it has.

Citron

<< About studying abroad. How about I put in a word for you with the king as well? If you have any questions or concerns you may always ask me. >>

Orange

<< Thank you. We will. >>

Tangerine

<< And if there is anything I can do to help you can ask me. I will support your decision. >>

END STORY

Read the epilogue here!

#a3 #a3! translation #エースリー #s:senribana monogatari #a3:citron

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nymphadoratonqs · 4 years ago

Note

heheh of cOURSE I'm asking 002 for nymohadora tonks😍💖💖💖😂with that beautiful username change of yours!!!!!

AAAA i’m finally making my 15 year-old self’s dream come true and unashamedly becoming nympahdora tonks in my spare time 😂

002 | Give me a character & I will tell you

• How I feel about this character:

As you can probably tell, she’s my favourite. 😍 I mean, I love Remus Lupin and I will protect him with all I’ve got, but Tonks is my main girl and it’s time I’ve let the world know all about it! haha

• All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Mainly Fleur and Remus! But, as I said when I talked about Fleur, I don’t think those are necessarily mutually exclusive. I think there are multiple possibilities and I truly believe people can love more than one person at a time, and that sometimes monogamy and a bourgeois family unit are not the way to go to make someone truly happy.

• My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Tonks and Charlie are my friendship OTP! My headcanon is that they were friends at Hogwarts and had a great time taunting one another over their House’s Quidditch matches. In the best “queers band up together” spirit, I think they would have had some experiences to share since I see both their mums as fairly conservative in their own ways, too.

• My unpopular opinion about this character:

Where do I begin? 😂 I disagree with a lot of people in the fandom, especially other fellow Wolfstar shippers, about a great load of things when it comes to Tonks and Remadora. I don’t see her as a manipulative person who “forced Remus into a relationship he didn’t want to be in”, as I’ve seen people put it before, and I think that there’s a misogynistic and a biphobic tone to that interpretation of her character.

It’s also unfair to Remus to assume that he could be conned into a relationship because she was shown as the one who pursued him (and because of that scene in HBP where they argue about it in front of Molly), or that she “hooked him by getting pregnant” (!!!!). The way I see their relationship, Tonks saw through Remus’ deep insecurities and self-loathing and called him out on his bullshit. The “too old, too poor, too dangerous” speech is the essence of his character to me. He really thinks he’s not good enough for her, and that he would be harming Tonks by being in a relationship with her, as much as he wanted it. This only gets confirmed later on in DH when Harry calls him out for wanting to ditch his wife and unborn child to go on a mission. To me, that is Remus trying to cover his urge to punish himself for having gotten something he wanted and didn’t think he deserved by denying himself love and a family. It’s almost a suicidal move (no one can convince me he wouldn’t be out there jumping in front of hexes if he had gone out to fight with the trio), and I don’t think he was thinking clearly/coldly when he decided to leave.

I mean, no one concludes that Sirius is deep down a murderer who was just dying to go out there and off Peter when he went after him and ended up getting all those Muggles killed (even if he wasn’t the one who exploded them) – which was a very bad decision he made while highly emotional and, arguably, out of his mind. So why would a big chunk of the fandom collectively decide that Remus didn’t love Tonks and was just dying to break free of that “forced relationship” when he’s the one to make a decision out of fear, anguish and guilt that stems from his own self-hate? (Misogyny, that’s why.)

• One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I really fucking wish she would have lived. There was no good narrative reason for her to die, only shock value, and honestly fuck that.

• my OTP

This one is hard! I do think that Remadora had great potential. I truly think that they could have worked through their issues with time and therapy (which I can dream about because everyone deserves time and therapy to help them have a better life) because I think she would have brought out the best in him. Tonks is a bright, clever, skilled and overall badass person. She’s also kind and loving (hello, Hufflepuff) and FUN and Remus is a Marauder, ffs! I can see him slowly learning that he deserves to be loved, and feeling freer and freer to be himself around her. They could have been so happy together, and having them both die in the end was shit. I’m still bitter about that.

BUT here’s the catch: no woman has to stick with a man while he takes his (well deserved) time to work through his issues. Tonks doesn’t have to be his Manic Pixie Dream Chick and lovingly guide him to a land of stable mental health where he can be the partner she deserves.

And that’s where Flonks comes into the picture. Fleur may have her issues (like every human being on the planet does), but they wouldn’t get in the way of them making each other happy. I think they are both awesome witches (brave and bright and talented) and they would make a great Auror & Curse Breaker team. They could build each other up and have an amazing life filled with love and gay things and I would absolutely love that.

• a headcanon fact:

Throughout the years, the idea of Tonks being non-binary has grown on me. With the ability to morph your body, having to stick to what society expects from a female or a male body to look like and what that means to your own gender identity doesn’t seem like something Tonks would ignore, to me. As someone who’s seen rebelling against what’s expected from her (which, in canon, sounds a lot like “Not Like Other Girls Syndrom”, but I digress), I can see it as something she would want to explore about herself.

Still, I think I still would have a lot more to learn before I could write a story that featured this headcanon. As a cis person, I believe I’m at a point where I still need to hear a lot more, rather than speak myself when it comes about gender non-conforming.

Oh, and by the way, I was gifted a Flonks fic that features NB Tonks this year for Femme Fest and I really loved what Isa did with the headcanon. It was so meaningful for the story and it also shook me a bit out of my comfort zone in the best of ways. I really really recommend it!

#watch me lose folllowers over the remadora talk lmao #nymphadora tonks #flonks #remadora #headcanons #character asks

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yourwakingnightmares · 4 years ago

Text

Now, I’ve made no secret that I loathe the new Star Wars movies. However, I do want to take a moment to point out all the potential that was there.

Fans of the movie will often say that people who disliked are...

1. Old school fans who wanted to see the OT cast be the main focus

2. Evil white men who hate women and minorities

3 (and the one I hate the most). Taking a movie about ‘space wizards’ too seriously.

However, this discounts the fact that many people WANTED to like the new movies; many who disliked the movies will admit that there was potential, even with the mess that we were given.

Let’s talk about Kylo Ren. I think Adam Driver did an amazing job with a character who had no internal consistency, or logic. I came out of the trilogy WANTING to like Kylo. I wanted to know more about him, despite being (as one YouTuber put it) the definition of tangled up Christmas Tree lights drenched in yogurt and acid.

Despite this inconsistency, despite his steady flipflopping around the screen, he had so much potential -why did Luke sense this potential for evil in him? Were the Knights of Ren the students who went with him? Why is he so intent on living up to Darth Vader? Where did this hero worship come from? Why was Snoke able to latch on to him? How did he even get to Snoke as a presumably young teenager? Why is he so desperate for Rey to love him back?

(Be advised: Spoilers for all three Star Wars sequels below)

One of the moments that evoked a heartfelt emotion in meme, while watching these movies, the only memorable moment I felt an emotion other than disgust or annoyance watching this, was when Kylo tells Rey, “You’re nothing; a nobody. You have no place in this story,” while seemingly choked with emotion. Here is a man, desperate for this woman to come with him. He’s telling her that, sure, maybe she doesn’t have a place in this large, intergalactic war, but she has a place with him. He doesn’t care that she’s a nobody; he wants her as she is. She can be a nobody to everyone else, but to him, she’s important, and she has a place in his story.

I wanted so much more from this! Is Kylo so desperate for love because everyone was always too busy for him as a child -Leia organizing the Republic, Han at her side? Or, if Han and Leia had broken up before he went off to Luke for training, was he stuck in the middle of their fighting?

While he was training with Luke, what was their relationship? Why did the sting of Luke’s betrayal drive him to become a near-sociopathic mass murderer, trying to resurrect the Empire? Did he love his Uncle? Idolize him? Was Luke the only one there for him as a child? Is that why Luke’s betrayal drove him into such a frenzy?

What about Kylo and Chewbacca? In the Rise of Skywalker, we see that he’s captured Chewbacca, yet we’re given no emotion in this scene.Think of the lost potential here!

“Chewie. I’m sorry it came to this; you were always kind to me, and you don’t deserve this.”

Or how about...

“My father was always so busy with you, Han and Chewie, off to save the world; you were more family to him than I ever was.”

Either of those lines would’ve given us so much more background on the two of them, and would’ve been a highly emotional scene for both the old fans, and the new fans.

Why was he so prone to fits of rage whenever something went poorly? Was he afraid of failure? Afraid that Snoke would turn on him, as Luke had? Was he trying to prove that he could be better than Luke, the uncle who betrayed him?

What was his life like, after leaving Luke? I’m fairly positive we can all agree that Snoke wasn’t ‘kind’ or ‘nurturing’ to Kylo; were failures punished with torture, or humiliation? That would explain the outbursts of rage whenever something doesn’t go according to plan. Was he raised to believe that only Snoke could teach him the true secrets of the Force?

After all, we see that Kylo is incredibly powerful in the Force; he’s able to stop blaster bolts in midair, rather than deflect them. He’s able to pull the information he wants directly from someone’s mind. He’s able to hold his own against Rey in Rise of Skywalker, keeping her from pulling the ship back down.

So why was he content to be on an equal footing with Hux for two movies? Why did he never rise up against Snoke, to take over as Supreme Leader? Why did he allow Snoke to humiliate him in front of Hux? Why would someone as powerful as Kylo Ren allow Snoke to belittle him, calling him a child, in front of Hux, his rival? Why wouldn’t he have argued the point, or at least try to defend his actions?

Let’s switch over to Poe. We’re told that Poe is the ‘greatest pilot in the Resistance’ -that is all we have to work with for 2 and 2/3rds of these movies; no other background is given. Eventually we find out that he was a spice runner (the drug du jour in Star Wars), and he ‘betrayed’ his old crew -however, we don’t know how he ended up as a smuggler, or what that ‘betrayal’ actually was.

For example: in the books, we find out that Han -who didn’t have a last name at the time -was simply a child that a group of smugglers picked up somewhere, and raised by Dewlanna -a female Wookie who took care of him, and protected him until her death in his teenage years. This drives him to leave the smuggling crew, and eventually join the Empire (yeah, Han wanted to be a Tie fighter pilot). However, when he sees a storm trooper beating Chewbacca, he kills the storm trooper to save him, telling Chewie later that he owed a life debt to Dewlanna, and since he’d never been able to repay that debt, he’d saved Chewie.

What if we were given something similar with Poe? Perhaps he and Zorii were orphans together on Kijimi; they grew up together, and always had each other’s backs. Eventually, through their street smarts, they and their friends turn themselves into a gang, eventually earning enough money to buy their own ship, and begin smuggling spice. However, perhaps during one of their smuggling runs, they accidentally kill an innocent bystander; perhaps Poe sees one of their crew OD and turn into a mindless vegetable after a bad hit of spice. Perhaps he sees the First Order kill a settlement of villagers while they’re off world. Any number of these things could drive Poe to forsake his old life, and flee to the Resistance. He leaves everything behind, including Zorii, the woman he loves, to try and clear his conscience.

Any of these would’ve given us a reason to understand Poe better; as it stands, all we know is that he used to run drugs, and now he’s just a super good pilot who defected to the Resistance for some reason, and ended up as a Commander. How did he learn to fly an X-wing? How did he become such a great pilot? How did he become a Commander?

We see, frequently and repeatedly, that Poe is afraid of nothing; that he’s able to resist interrogation without giving up information, forcing Kylo to eventually use the Force to pull the information from him. We see that’s he brave, and he is -at heart -a good man; the death of the villagers in the opening scene of The Force Awakens shows that he was unwilling to leave this village of innocent people to their fate; that despite being hopelessly outnumbered, outmanned, and outclassed, he stays to try and help them.

Yet we have no idea why he does these things; we have no background information on him, so we’re unable to truly appreciate these actions. Is he just a guy who won’t ever run from a fight? Does he have a personal beef with the First Order? Did he believe that he would be able to buy time for someone to come and save him?

We don’t know, so his actions mean nothing to us. Hell, for all the background we have on this character, he could’ve been a blind idiot, who couldn’t see how many storm troopers there were until it was too late, and his actions were simply him screwing up, and not heroic at all.

And then there’s Finn. Finn, who was the first Storm trooper given a face. The disappointment with his character was immense. How did he end up so happy go lucky, so bumbling, given his supposed brainwashing into something that had one purpose: to kill.

We’re given the impression that the storm trooper Poe kills -the one who leaves the blood on Finn’s helmet -was his friend; how did they become friends? What impact did this other storm trooper have on him? How was he even able to form an emotional connection with someone, if he was raised as a child soldier, and brainwashed to hate and kill?

What, exactly, did this ‘training’ consist of? Was it propaganda, like the Nazi Youth? Was it torturous and cruel, punishing them for any act of kindness, or empathy? A mix of the two?

And how was Finn able to overcome this upbringing? How as he able to remain such an empathetic, protective adult, with a sense of humor on top of it? Could any stormtrooper defect as easily? Was it something from his home world, some small memory of a ‘life before’ that he was able to hold on to? Did something happen during his training to jolt him out of his ‘programming’?

With this character alone, the possibilities were endless; this was completely uncharted territory. We could have been given any background on this, and it would’ve been brilliant. However, we were given nothing more than it happened.

If we were given answers to even ONE of the numerous questions I’ve asked, even just one per character, it would’ve given us reason to root for these people. Reason to love them, reason to hate them, or a reason to sympathize with them.

Look at the characters from the OT -we know that Luke was only searching for adventure, to begin with. To save the damsel in distress, the chance to be a hero -something that a bored farm boy from the middle of nowhere couldn’t pass up, particularly when we’re told his friends were off fighting.

Leia was raised by her adoptive father into the Rebellion- Bail Organa was one of the founders of the Rebellion, and one of its most prominent leaders. After the destruction of her home world, we see that it becomes a personal vendetta for her, to make the Empire pay for the deaths of her friends, her family, and her planet.

Han was a smuggler: he was just there to get paid, and accidentally got stuck fighting. He insists he’s only in it for the money, a cold-blooded businessman, until he starts to fall for Leia. Until he realizes that Luke needs him, and will die without his aid.

In the OT, we’re given characters with background, characters with depth. Characters whose actions we understand, because we’re given details about them as characters.

And before someone says, ‘time constraints’... I would like to point out that these three movies combined were seven hours, and fifteen minutes long. Seven hours and change, for zero character development. Hell, we spend 152 minutes (TLJ) watching a slow speed space chase, that -as it turns out -was redundant anyways. 2/3rds of The Last Jedi ended up being completely pointless, as we find out, and Finn and Rose’s quest was pointless. Finn’s mutiny was pointless.

Most of the suggestions I made above could’ve been given with a line or two of dialogue.

Here are a few quick lines that would answer many of these questions. Mind you, I’ve taken minimal time to come up with these; most of them are off the top of my head as I sit here.

Kylo:

“No one has ever understood me; I’ve been alone my entire life.”

“Luke was my hero; my idol. I looked up to him, I wanted to be him, and he betrayed me. Tried to kill me in sleep. He didn’t even have the courage to look me in the eye.”

“My parents didn’t know how to deal with my strength in the Force, so they shipped me off to Luke as soon as they could; they didn’t even try to understand me.”

Snoke: “Careful, Kylo; you know the price of your arrogance. Or do I need to remind you again? Do not think yourself above being taught a lesson about your station.”

Poe:

“Yes, I ran spice, okay? Is that what you wanna hear? I was young, I was stupid, and I was just trying to survive. You wanna criticize me for that, go ahead. But I had nothing, and nobody aside from Zurii, and we did what we had to do.”

While being tortured by the First Order: “You guys think this is torture? My friends used to hit me harder just to wake me up!”

When Holdo tells him to just ‘have hope’: “Look, lady, I grew up in Kijimi; ‘hope’ wasn’t gonna feed us, ‘hope’ wasn’t gonna give us somewhere to sleep with a roof over our heads. Doing nothing gets you killed faster than doing the wrong thing.”

While in the desert of Passaana: “There’s always First Order patrols in outer rim worlds like this; when I was a kid on Kijimi, they’d beat you down just for walking in front of them.” or “There were festivals like this when I was a kid on Kijimi; I used to watch ‘em and wonder what it would be like to actually celebrate it. Don’t suppose we have time now.”

Finn:

“Look, something about me was always off, okay? I don’t know why, but I always just... knew that what we were learning was wrong.”

“I don’t remember much about my parents, but I remember my mom used to tell me stories. About Luke Skywalker and Han Solo, and their adventures.”

“There was one man, who trained us. He was... nice, in his own way. He used to try and help us when he could, comfort us after we’d been punished. They made me kill him.”

“I’ve spent my whole life trying to avoid being the killer they wanted me to be; now you’re asking me to become a killer for your side.”

These lines would’ve taken a minute; one minute, perhaps two at most. 12 lines that would’ve given us details about these characters. Even at two minutes, that’s 24 minutes across a series of movies that was 429 minutes long.

Instead, we were given mere hints of the characters these people could’ve been. The smallest glimpses of stories and backgrounds that would’ve made these characters amazing.

That aggravates me worse than the terrible story-telling; there was potential here, and they just squandered it.

#star wars #the force awakens #the last jedi #rise of skywalker #spoilers #kylo ren #poe dameron #finn #characters #character development #so much wasted potential here

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tiny-fist · 4 years ago

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It is actually silly that I post this on Tumblr if I do not even dare to speak with my family or friends about it.

But I feel like Tumblr offers a "familiar anonymity" online. There are many "cute" and kind people on here and I enjoy this type of social media quite a lot. I have had no bad experiences on Tumblr so far, and I had quite some good experiences with sharing thoughts, feelings and problems online the few times I did.

This is partially an awareness post. You can of course share your opinion on it if it is a respectful one.

But the text aims more at expressing real and true feelings with a certain degree of poesy.

I have very good and close friends.

I am very close with my family.

I have a professor I am "befriended" with and who I really like.

I have some people online who I write messages with an who are very interesting and wonderful people.

I earn some money.

I do stuff I am interested in.

I am able to learn about what I love at uni and outside of it.

I am able to purchase goods which I find interest in - aesthetically, spiritually, et cetera.

With some family members and some friends I am even that close that we deeply connect on a soul level.

I get new chances every day and I experience and get to know so many beautiful things each and every day.

Yet, this does not stop me from feeling, sometimes, utterly alone.

My friends and family understand me on many levels. As I already mentioned, we connect on a really deep level.

But sometimes I feel like there is no one out there who really gets me.

I want to cry because of this feeling. Not because I am necessarily sad or because I'm angry or desperate.

I just feel like a lost child in a supermarket. Only that I am lost in the world.

Not really in a way of "not knowing where to go". It is that I know exactly what I would be looking for. I only have the terrible fear that this thing, this being, this person could not exist.

I feel a constant pull to somewhere. I know that these concepts are probably highly spiritual and sound wooowoo to many. It does not have anything to do with God.

I believe in God. Strongly.

Not in a fundamentalistic and weirdly obsessed Christian way.

Do not worry 😂😂 my beliefs are entirely different.

This is not about God. I sometimes wondered whether I have lived before. I know that I loved a person once, deeply.

I can only remember fragments of that person and I do not even know if they have existed or do exist now.

I told my best friend about this once. And she told me that she does feel the same sometimes. Like she is looking for a lost love. That she is loving someone, desperately, but she cannot find them. She has decided to ignore this feeling.

But I cannot.

Many creative things that I do lead me onto this path again. If I write, I tend to have many doubts about it. But if I write about this foggy story in my head, this person, everything just goes quiet.

I do not remember anything of which I can say that it has been, at some point of time, a fact. Most people probably cannot. And if they do, they do not pay any mind to these thoughts. Why should they? In our modern world, it is believed most probable that these are just things our mind makes up.

Some of you may have started to read this post because of the "alone" factor. I know that many feel like this but will not admit to this fact.

The fact that no one really cares about us. Some to some degree, yes. But not actually. Not fully. And that's sad.

Be you the person who cares.

This does not mean that you listen to people unequivocally and do anything for them. I have seen many people like this and have been one of them as well. This leads to ruin one way or the other. It leads to you are seeking the approval of others by helping them and them (not everyone but many people) using your generousness.

If you listen, really listen. If you look at people, really look at them. If you try to empathize, really take your time and try to understand them. Even "bad" people. Even people who are complete dicks. It's not easy, I know. Do not give yourself away, have strict borderlines for yourself, but try to care. Not if you feel uncomfortable about it - do not force yourself. But if it feels right, try to care.

Another lesson I learned was that one has to find a friend in themselves. Try to acknowledge and accept this feeling of aloneness. Is there a reason for it? There does not have to be.

No one has to understand you. Accept the fact that people never will. Of course they won't. They are not you. But this turns it into a treasure. YOU are the person who can give amazing care, amazing knowledge, feelings, new perspectives to the world. Because you are yourself.

Actually even when you write a term paper for uni - one you hate perhaps - there is potential of change in it. You are able to give new perspectives to your professor!

Uni students usually believe themselves to be inferior to their professors. But you have the potential to make a beautiful change in everyone's life - including your own - every day.

And this turns "being alone" into "being yourself, being unique". What would the world be if some people could understand everything about you? One word: boring.

Treating these spiritual feelings, I can only say that I believe there are many people out there. Perhaps reincarnation, transmigration,

metempsychosis or as it is called in German "Seelenwanderung" does exist. Perhaps not.

My best friend does not believe in spiritual stuff. She admitted to this longing. I don't really know if she thinks that it'll be answered one day. She probably believes this longing goes out into nothingness. Into thin air.

Does it? I don't know.

Even if such a person exists somewhere, I'm not even sure if I am supposed to meet them one day.

I know that my mom and dad met in one of these fated encounters across countries. I know that my sister met her husband in a weirdly fated encounter.

I know that many "crazy" things have happened in my life so far. My best friends admits to them and says "They only happen in your life. Something like that would never happen to me."

Why not? Why should it happen to me exclusively? Perhaps it is only a matter of perspective. Only a matter of noticing such things. Deciding, perhaps even subconsciously, that such things will never happen, that such things do not happen, perhaps to other unknown, diffuse people, but not to oneself.

I am spiritual. I have been for years. So I accept that they do happen. I actually never really had a chance aside from accepting them. But I was not sad about it.

Many of my friends deny the existence of "such things". But they ask me very often about them nonetheless. And many people - even strange people - admit to having had such experiences themselves if they believe they can trust you enough.

I feel like many people deny themselves acceptance of their thoughts and feelings in this regard because they fear what the outcome, what the implications of this acceptance would be. Would they be doomed to believe something they could never accept inside their minds?

No. I will touch on this below.

I am not saying that I am brave in any way by accepting them into my life. I just grew up this way. I had such experiences ever since I was a kid and there were many similar experiences in my family. There was no reason not to accept them until I got to know that people usually people do not talk about "such things".

People chase for love because they believe it equals happiness. It does not. Happiness is sometimes just a choice, but if you make it, it also means that you have to work to keep it up. Like nourishing plants. You buy one, you plant one, you receive one - but you have to take care of it the right way to make it bloom and flourish.

Do I know that I will meet a fated person who will satisfy this constant longing? I don't know.

But I know that such feelings exist and I know that one should - no, has to - accept them in order to live in a good, positive way. Are they real? Your mind tells them they cannot be? What is real anyway? How can a human answer this question?

The only paradigm you can really change in your life is your perspective on things. This feeling, these feelings are there, OK? What if you accept them?

People need to stop wanting to explain the entire universe in a logical way. At one point or the other, the human consciousness will fail.

Accepting these feelings, no matter how weird, illogical, metaphysical or nonsensical they may be to you, is a way of saying "yes" to yourself.

Realizing that you, whatever you may be like, whoever you may be, are valid in any case. No matter what other people say. You have to answer to yourself.

Some people say one has to answer to God or some higher power. Not everyone believes in such a power and that is completely valid, fine and alright. Who is real, though, is you. You are real. And you have to decide whether you want to question yourself, doubt yourself, reject yourself when you are in reality the only person who can truly love yourself.

Because I realized that, yes, such a person may exist. And I firmly believe that I shall meet them one day.

But before that, I have realized that one of the people whose love I long for is me.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Be blessed.

#self love #self belief #selfcare #self improvement #reincarnation #transmigration #friendship #feeling alone #loneliest

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seriouslyhooked · 5 years ago

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Lost Souls and Reveries (Part 25)

25 part AU written for @cssns. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5,Part 6,Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24. Story available on AO3 Here and FF Here. Banner created by the amazingly talented @shipsxahoy!!

Killian Jones is a wolf shifter without roots, without plans, and without a pack. He’s a rogue, someone humans should avoid and shifters should be wary of given his lineage. But one night years back set him on a path he didn’t realize he was taking, a path leading to a future he is destined for. That future is tied up in one woman – a human named Emma Nolan. Together Emma and Killian will find not only answers, but a love that’s truly fated. But will love be enough to set them free, or will past demons win out in the end? (Answer: love always wins – I am writing this so despite some tiny pockets of angst it’s basically a fluff-filled insta-love fest). Rated M.

A/N: Hello everyone! So as promised, I have left the drama and the angst behind us and for this chapter. Instead of lingering in anxiety, I am just giving us all some much-deserved wedding cuteness and (because so many of you asked) a little wedding night smut. This has been the longest story I have ever written, and WOW does it feel like time to write a wedding. As such, I will delay no longer. Hope you enjoy, and thanks so much for reading!

All this time I kept saying the details didn’t matter, but now I know they really do.

Emma didn’t utter those words aloud, but she held them close with her as she went about getting ready for this long-awaited moment. The thought had been floating in and out of her mind all day, like when she woke to her favorite childhood breakfast of cereal and pop-tarts, or when she first got a look at her bouquet. The arrangement of flowers was immaculate and lush, with ivory petals and little pops of color thrown in, and it matched the tasteful flowers she was wearing in her hair, and the ones her bridesmaids donned for the ceremony and reception. Everything was so in sync, woven together with ease and with grace, but none of it was accidental. This was all a reflection of the hard work of people who loved her, and reminiscent of dreams she never realized that she had.

Looking at her hands, Emma noted her engagement ring, a glimmering stone gifted with love and fidelity. Killian had asked her for forever in a way he hadn’t planned, but it was perfect, and the only thing missing was a wedding band to complete the set. Today that second ring would come, and Emma would keep them close and safe as long as she lived. Other unexpected gifts had been coming in all day too, starting in the morning and leading up to now. Little things and big things, thoughtful notes and precious keepsakes. All of it was wrapped in love, and every time one found its way to her, Emma craved their wedding more. It was so damn hard waiting, but she grounded herself in how lucky she was to have this. After all, she’d gotten her most powerful wish - laughter, love, excitement, and joy. These were the ingredients of her wedding day so far, and Emma knew they would be the same pieces that defined her life from now until forever.

“Okay, honey, it’s time to get your dress on. Are you sure you don’t need help?” her mother asked, pulling Emma from her reverie as she gazed into the mirror. Emma shook her head and stood up, careful to keep her robe closed as she did.

“I’ve got it, Mom. It’ll only take a minute.”

Retrieving her dress from her mother’s arms, Emma moved behind the screen to get dressed, trying to soak up this moment despite how breakneck the pace of her day had been. It had been nonstop since the morning, when Emma woke up in her old bed in the apartment above the clinic. She hadn’t slept so well, being unused to a night without Killian, but she’d had company. Anna and Elsa were adamant that they would all spend this night together, three sisters having a final hurrah. They’d invited Ruby too, an honorary member of their special little tribe, and her final ‘night of freedom’ was spent watching cheesy rom coms, eating way more than they should have, and drinking more than a little wine. At first her mother resisted on the idea, insisting that a bride-to-be needed her beauty sleep, but, as was their custom, Elsa and Anna found a way to win her over. Emma was glad for it too, because despite missing Killian, she’d had a blast, and that good humor had carried all through today as the lot of them got pampered and prepared.

Even now, as she slipped into her dress, Emma couldn’t help her smile. There was no mirror back here, but she knew how good she looked. Her hair was glossy and shone brighter than it ever did when she did it on her own. Her makeup was flawless, highlighting her natural features with a little bit of pop. Add to that that she was radiating happiness and she knew she was beautiful, but that wasn’t enough for her. Underneath her robe she’d chosen a white lace set designed to drive her husband more than a little wild, as if he needed any reason to get that way. The barely there lingerie left little to the imagination, and she warmed through just imagining how Killian would react. It was thrilling to think about, but that desire was tamped down slightly by her awe at the dress itself. An incredible gift from her mother, this dress had been passed down from her grandmother originally. Each wedding it had seen saw some alterations, but never enough to undermine the beauty of the gown. As such, the garment was in wonderful shape, and Emma’s smile grew when she thought about one day sharing this treasured dress with her daughter too.

As she’d promised, dressing didn’t take long at all and soon enough she moved from behind the partition into full view again. She saw everyone looking at her, but was drawn to her own reflection. Stunning was the only word that she could think of, and even that choice reminded her of Killian, but it was right. It was truly a lose-your-breath moment seeing herself like this, and all the emotion at this impending union bubbled to the surface as it suddenly became all the more real.

“My cousin is seriously going to lose it when he sees you, Emma,” Ruby said with a tone of glee.

Emma looked over to Ruby, who appeared thrilled at Killian’s potential reaction, and Emma, though quieter in her hope, was dreaming of the same. She knew the figure that she made for in this dress. It might be an heirloom, but it was tailored in a way that was uniquely her. The dress was a delicate cream color with a perfect blend of silk and lace. It was still classic, but also current, and though it had been made for another, it felt designed with only Emma in mind. It fit every curve of her body, accentuating her shape while still feeling very free, and that was compounded by the fact that she’d ditched the veil and gone for flowers in her golden curls instead. Looking back at herself she felt beautiful and whole, though much of that had more to do with who she was marrying and less to do with what she was wearing.

“You’re gorgeous, Ems,” Anna agreed, tending to the dress and making sure every last detail was in place. “A true princess.”

“No, better than a princess,” Elsa countered, smiling at Emma in the mirror as she hugged her from the side. “Better because you’re you.”

“You guys need to stop,” Emma said, but there was no real bite in her voice. “You’re going to make me cry and I am not crying today.”

“Oh, Emma, I think that ship has sailed, don’t you?” Elsa asked, gesturing behind them, and the four of them looked back to where Emma’s mother and grandmother were both wiping away their happy tears.

“It’s just like I always imagined,” her mother said, the weepiness seeping through her voice and threatening to make Emma cry as well. “You’re so beautiful, Emma.”

“Mom,” Emma said, and as her mother came over to her, her friends made space for them to share this special moment.

“I know you’ll say that I’m too sappy, but I can’t help it Emma. You are my baby,” she said, her hand coming to Emma’s cheek as she smiled at her. “Your father is my heart, but you and your brother are my whole entire soul. I love you so much. I’ve loved you your whole life and even before, and it’s like I blinked and we were here. All those years are gone so quick. You’re so grown up and I’m just…” her voice cut off as she cried a bit, but she rallied. “I’m so proud to be your Mom and I’m so lucky to have a daughter whose so brilliant and so sure. You are amazing, Emma. My brave and beautiful little girl.”

“I love you, Mom,” Emma whispered, unable to say more, but knowing her mother understood her. She felt the same luck and joy at having her mother and her father. They were incredible and loving, supportive in every way, and a constant reminder of what it meant to be good and what it meant to choose love no matter what life may through their way. She pulled her mother close, hugging her tightly and enjoying this special moment that would only come once.

“I hate to break this up,” her grandmother said, drawing them back into the fray once more. “But if it has to be broken, I can think of no better reason.”

“What she means to say is we’ve got to get moving. If we even think about being late, Killian will find us and drag you away, and then we’ll have planned all of this for nothing,” Ruby exclaimed, grabbing her bouquet and heading towards the door.

“Wouldn’t want that, would we?” Elsa teased following suit with Anna close behind, but Emma flushed, thinking it might not be the worst thing to be swept away by her mate. Still, she wanted this moment, to be married in front of all their friends and family. It was something they’d worked so hard for, and she knew down to her core that it was going to all work out in the most wonderful way.

In the few weeks since coming home from their fight against George, Emma began to taste the dreams that she’d most wanted. A dose of normal and calm, stability and contentment, that was what she’d wanted, and since coming home she felt that. The doom and gloom of before felt largely lifted. She was centered and in love, grateful for all that she had, and full of faith that the things still yet to be rectified would be won out in the end. Gold was still out there, but for now they were safe, and while Emma and Killian had been focusing on themselves and on this wedding, her friends had begun to take over the hunt for their final foe. Emma trusted Elsa and Anna and Ruby to do everything they could, and that trust allowed her to feel free again, free from the weight of the whole world, and free from the worry that all the goodness in her life might someday disappear. Right now she was grounded in belief that their darkest times were past them, and on this picture perfect day, she had no space for demons. There was just her and Killian and the people they loved most, celebrating the love that they had found, and taking one last step together towards being man and wife.

In a flurry of excitement her friends and her Mom and Grandma helped her down the stairs, and as they descended Emma felt the pitter-pattering of her heart begin. A million little butterflies took flight inside of her and it was like all of her firsts with Killian wrapped into one. She remembered the first time she saw him, the first date they went on, the first night they’d made love. Her nerves were frayed from the rush of it all, but she wasn’t nervous, just impatient. She wanted to get to this moment so badly, but she reminded herself to be present. This was a once in a lifetime thing. She’d never do this again, never make these special memories, so she had to feel it all and witness it, for all its depth and beauty.

When she finally made it downstairs, and everyone was convinced that she was totally ready without a hair out of place, they began to move outside. One by one her friends marched forward towards the day, the warmth of the summer evening moving in, while a coastal breeze swept through, keeping things comfortable and cool. By the time Emma got outside, she was eager to get going, and then she saw her father, diligently waiting for her outside, prepared to escort her down the aisle.

“Honey, you look…” her Dad trailed off, his words caught in his throat and she saw the tears misting in his eyes. Oh crap, if her mother had threatened tears for Emma, then her father was the final blow. She couldn’t hold back when he looked at her like this, like being her Dad was the most important thing to him. “You look perfect.”

“Thank you, Dad,” she replied, taking his extended arm and leaning into him. “Any final words you want to hit me with? I’m not going to lie, I half expected you to have the car packed and a bug out plan in place.”

She teased him, needing a lightness in this moment, and she was rewarded with her father’s warm chuckle of amusement. It wasn’t so off base to think that her Dad might do that. He’d threatened as much her whole life, and always told her that no one would be good enough for his little girl. But despite those once held feelings, Emma knew the respect that her father had for Killian. They shared an understanding between them, and whatever her Dad might think of Killian’s worth, he trusted him beyond the shadow of a doubt to love Emma and protect her. Her father saw Killian for what he was – her fated mate and perfect partner, a man who would build her up and keep her grounded. He would make her strong and stand beside her, and he would do so with honesty and integrity and grace. And at the end of the day, what more could any parent ask for when it came to any of their children?

“Trust me I thought about it,” he quipped and Emma raised a brow, playing along with his joke. “But then I reminded myself that as much as that man loves you, you love him just the same. You’d never choose a life without him. Besides, he makes you happy, and you deserve all the happiness in the world.”

“I love you, Dad,” she whispered, kissing his cheek before wiping away a rogue tear that somehow slipped past her defenses.

“And I love you, Emma. Now let’s get going before I change my mind and hightail it out of here.”

Emma smiled at the last of the jokes, and realized it was their queue to head down the aisle. They had a hedgerow blocking them from view to come around first, and Emma felt her breathing even out. Things felt like they slowed down, and her actions kept in line with the beat of the music playing her way to her future. She and her Dad moved in time together, taking one step and then another and another closer to Killian. Finally, when they cleared the greenery and he came into view, Emma almost stopped moving, struck by how handsome he looked and the look of love in his eyes. He never hid his feelings for her, no matter what their situation, but seeing that uncut adoration filled her with sunshine and bliss. Happy was the word her father used, but this was so much more than that. There was no way to express it except to say she felt complete. Everything was clicking into place, and as the space between them closed, and her father handed her off to Killian, kissing her cheek before leaving her there at the altar, the rest of the world faded away. It was just her and Killian, coming together to pledge their hearts for now and always.

“You’re everything, Emma,” Killian whispered to her, and she smiled, feeling how the opening of her heart opened her mind to him too. The feelings he had and the things that he thought about her were warm and good and true, and she felt the same. It overcame them both as they looked at each other in front of all their friends and family. In fact, she was so caught up in him she missed the part of the ceremony where they were supposed to say their vows. Luckily Killian did the same, and when the officiant cleared his throat, everyone laughed, including Emma and Killian.

“Right. Well I know we said short and sweet, love, but I hope you’ll forgive me for making a few changes.”

“Oh here we go,” a voice that sounded like Liam’s said from the audience, and then just after there was a whooshing sound let loose, like whoever had spoken got a swift jab to the gut. Emma laughed, but didn’t need to look to know Elsa was managing things. Then Killian stepped closer, breaking the tradition of holding both hands so one came up to cup her cheek as they stood flush against each other. Everything fell away again, and all that remained was this man and his beautiful words.

“I, Killian Jones, take you, Emma Nolan, to be my wife and mate forever. To have and to hold, to love and to cherish, for now and for always. I pledge to honor and adore you, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad. My love for you will never waiver, it will grow stronger every day. I vow to protect you, to fight for you, to never leave your side. I vow to choose you and only you for every day that I live and every day thereafter. All I have is yours, my heart, my soul, and all the rest. You have me, Emma, all of me, and you will have me forever.”

Hearing those words wash over her, Emma had never known such bliss. The feeling of rightness that came with his love was effervescent and she knew in her heart that these words were such a small glimpse into his love for her. He could go on forever about he felt, but this was perfect. So perfect, in fact that she reiterated as much of it as she could.

“I, Emma Nolan, take you, Killian Jones, to be my husband and mate forever. To have and to hold, to love and to cherish, for now and for always. I pledge to honor and adore you, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad. My love for you will never waiver, it will never break, it will never fade. I vow to protect your heart, to fight for our happiness, and to never leave you. I promise to choose you and only you for this life and every other. All that I am will love you eternally, for all that you are and so much more, and all that I want is to be with you forever. You have me now and you have me forever.”

Again their shared intimacy meant they missed their final queue, or rather that they jumped the gun so to speak, for the moment the words were out of her mouth, Killian closed the space between them, sealing their love with a glorious kiss. In the background she heard the officient finalize their promises, proclaiming them man and wife, and the cheering of her family and friends, but even when they pulled back, she only had eyes for Killian, the love of her life, her fated mate, and now her handsome husband.

………..

Everything it took to get here was completely worth it.

Swaying with his wife as one of her favorite songs crooned all around them, Killian truly understood why weddings meant so much to people. Despite his original instincts that mating was enough, he knew that this was a remarkable moment. This day was a gift for which he’d be forever grateful, and as long as he lived he would carry the memories of his beautiful Emma tying herself to him in one final way.

All day it had been hard to catch his breath. It started by being away from his bride. To say he hated separation would be an understatement, but he wanted to honor Emma’s wishes and the wishes of her mother. He told himself hundreds of times that this would be the last time they’d ever need a night like this, but it didn’t do much good. His sleep was troubled and his eagerness for time to pass was undeniable. It felt like a very long wait to get to the ceremony, but once they were there time sped to an almost alarming degree. Seeing Emma as a vision in white, watching her walk towards him, making their vows to each other – he memorized every moment was shocked at how quickly it all came and went. Now they’d celebrated properly, with dinner and drinking and merriment, and after hours on the dance floor, the night was winding down and it was nearly time to bring his mate home.

“Part of me never wants this to end,” Emma admitted, her words laced with a happiness that was infectious and sublime. She looked up at him, her jade eyes glittering in the light, her smile making her all the more beautiful. She was gorgeous and surreal, and when he took the chance to dip her in the dance and she let loose a full-throated laugh she was even more amazing.

“And the other part?” he asked, genuinely curious as to her feelings.

“The other part wants us to get home so you can finally see what I’m wearing underneath this dress.”

And that was it – there was no pulling back now, and from the expression on Emma’s face she knew exactly what her words would do. All day he’d been strong, never breaking, despite his want to claim her. Okay, actually there was that one brief interlude in her bedroom upstairs… but that was over far too quickly and he’d stopped before they could really get carried away, knowing when he claimed her as his wife he’d need a very long time before they were ready to resurface. Now, however, he moved with swift assuredness, sweeping Emma up into his arms so she let out a squeak of surprise before laughing again. He looked to the others and thanked them all for coming, but told them all they were headed home.

“Are you going to carry me the whole way?” Emma teased and Killian thought about it for a minute, but realized it would probably be best for the sake of the humans in attendance if he reined himself in only slightly. Instead he put her in his brother’s car without so much as asking to borrow it, careful to see Emma was cared for while also trying to move as quickly as he could. He looked to Liam, but didn’t have to bother asking. His brother was two steps ahead of him and he threw his keys from across the lawn. Killian caught them, started the car, and they drove away to the sound of everyone wishing them well and saying goodbye.

“Wow was that really all it took to make you break?” Emma asked giddily, thrilled at her ability to move him towards their wedding night like this. “I thought I’d have to do more to tempt you.”

She shifted in the chair and the slit that was part of her dress edged up her thigh. Killian groaned, driven by a need to get her home but a deep seeded yearning to pull the car over and have his way with her now. She was a bloody siren and she knew it, but all he could do right now was cover her hand with his, holding firm to keep her from tormenting him more.

“Some would call my show of control today heroic, love. Men have died from less.”

“Is that so?” Emma teased, but then it was his turn to flip the tables. He allowed their link to be more open between their minds and he let his fantasies run wild of what he’d do with her tonight. He spared a glance at her, knowing it could only last a second as he was driving, but the blush on her cheeks and the way she fidgeted in her seat spoke to her need. He could smell her arousal, practically taste it on his tongue, and only the thought that soon he’d taste it in the flesh kept him halfway sane. By the time they made it home he was ravenous, and now Emma was with him, clinging to him as he carried her inside and over the threshold for the first time as man and wife.

He didn’t stop moving until they made it upstairs, and only when they were fully inside their bedroom suite did Killian place her down so her feet would touch the floor. In the time it took to get up here, Emma had regrouped and the vixen in her came out to play. Her smile was almost wolfish as she teased him, slowly kicking off her heels as her hand came to her side to unzip the hidden fastener on her dress. Inch by glorious inch, Killian watched, as she bared herself to him, releasing herself from the tight fit of this blasted garment that drew him in all night. It fit her to perfection, making his mouth water even as his heart seized in his chest. On the outside she was pristine and classic – a constant allurement but classily encased. There was nothing too revealing, nothing too ostentatious, but because it was Emma it was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. Well at least until the moment she let the dress fall in a pool of satin and lace at her ankles. Then he saw what she had on underneath and he lost it, springing towards her like a wolf coming in for the kill.

“I take it that you like what you see,” Emma whispered, her words hoarse but confident, speaking to her lust and need.

“I’ve never loved anything as I love you, Emma,” he said, tracing her skin with his fingers, toying between gentle caresses and a more firm grasp in a way that made Emma’s breathing falter. “You’re gorgeous to me every moment of every day, but now… now you look good enough to eat.”

“This would be the perfect time to make a big bad wolf joke…” Emma said, but her words cut off with a cry of pleasure as his lips touched her neck and he nipped at her skin, maneuvering her back to the bed, knowing that soon there would be no words between them – only magic and desire.

“All right then, love, I’m waiting.”

He gave her the chance to make her fairytale reference as he stepped back, shedding his dress shirt and pants that he’d donned all day. Instead of forming words, however, his wife’s eyes stayed locked on his motions, and the almost feral hunger he felt at seeing her was replicated at her seeing him. He could almost feel her touch already, and it was excruciatingly delightful anticipating this coming together.

“Waiting?” she asked, clearly already forgetting what she’s said mere moments ago.

“You were saying something about me being a big bad wolf,” he growled out as he came above her on the bed, boxing her in. “And I assure you I can be all those things if you so choose.”

Killian’s smile ticked up at the way her heartbeat pounded and the instinct she had to grasp him close and not let go. In a moment like this more words escaped him, but instead of trying to find them, he ran his hands along her smooth, creamy, skin and savored the feel of her heat and the way her breathing slowed when he traced absent minded designs along her flesh.

“Yes, I want that,” she said, giving him the green light to have his wicked way with her tonight. His animal and he were thrilled at the prospect, but he had to make sure.

“It’s your call, Emma. Do you want me doting and gentle…?” She shook her head, before he could get the other option out.

“No, I want you with me, which is out of my mind with wanting you.”

Their lips crashed together then and both of them dueled for the best taste of each other. Killian felt her hand go down from his jaw, to his chest, across the slope of his abs to grip around his achingly hard cock, and the motion pulled a growl from deep within him. If that was how she wanted things, he would not disappoint. Still he stopped her progress, removing her hand, instantly missing it, but needing to take things in a different direction. Both parts of him demanded that – the man and the wolf.

“On your knees, love. Facing the headboard.” The flash of excitement and arousal that sparked in her made Killian growl low, but before she could follow his request he halted her motions. “Wait.”

“Wait?!” She cried out as his hand came to her sex and he felt the slick heat there beneath the barely there scrap of lace. His love was beyond need at this point, and from the simple, almost innocent contact she moaned, arching towards him, seeking any kind of release.

“Tell me you’re mine first, Emma. Mine now and always.”

“I’m yours,” she said immediately, clearly desperate to comply. “Now and always.”

“And you know I’m yours, just the same, don’t you, my love?”

She nodded as his fingers continued to tease her but he knew it wouldn’t be enough. Finally he caved and ripped the lace straight off of her. Then he pulled her towards the edge of the bed, giving him better access to what he wanted most. Emma didn’t argue now, and as he kissed down her body, disposing of the last of the fabric on her skin, her eyes sparkled with white hot need. By the time he tasted her sex she was desperate, and the keening cry of her need only spurred him on. There was nothing slow in this. He was starved for her, wound up to distraction, and simultaneously calmed and crazed by the taste of her. He felt her shake and quiver as a climax claimed her, but it wasn’t enough. He took another, and then brought her damn near a third before relenting, maneuvering her to her hands and knees and reveling in the enthusiasm she showed at being taken this way.

He got her into position, knowing this way would be deeper and that, as with their mating night and more heated nights before, he could claim her in a manner that appeased the man and the beast within. When she was ready, his hand moved down her back and he took his place behind her. With deft hands, he positioned her and though he wanted nothing more than to take her, he couldn’t help but to tease her. His hands traced over her, purposefully hitting each point he knew would drive her crazy.

“Fuck, Killian!” She shifted slightly trying to urge him on and Killian nipped at the back of her shoulder.

“Keep your hands where they are love.”

She immediately returned them to their original place and Killian continued to pay attention to her breasts until her squirming against him signaled that she needed more. With one of his hands, he traced down her chest over the abdomen that in a few weeks time would be swollen with the presence of their child. A low grumble emanated from his chest at the thought of Emma carrying such a gift. He and his wolf loved that idea, and already knew there’d be many more children between he and his mate. Eventually he allowed his hand to go lower, finally ending up between her spread legs, and finding her dripping sex, even more needy for him. As soon as he made contact with her clit, Emma again moaned his name.

“Why are you torturing me?” She asked breathily.

“Torture?” He asked, and she nodded, but he knew that this was in some ways a lie. Yes she might be in a suspended kind of agony holding on, but the longer he waited the more she’d enjoy every bit of this. Time had shown him that before, and he intended to make use of that knowledge tonight. “I wouldn’t call this torture, my love. I’d call it destiny. I was made to claim you and you me. Every night, just like this, as long as we both shall live.

“God, yes. Killian, please.” Killian kissed at the juncture of her shoulder and neck as he thrust inside her and the impact made him bite down to keep from groaning. Emma made no such attempt, and the sound of her pleasure fueled him on. Their pace was rough and frenzied, both of them chasing a high, and when they found it, they luxuriated in the feel of it. Of course it was hardly enough, and through the night they came together more than once. Sometimes he led, something she did, but every time one truth remained – their love was eternal and would always endure.

Finally, after hours of energy and exertion, sleep came to claim them both, and when it did, they dreamed of each other, of their child, and of the life that lay in store for them. And though there were still a few questions that lingered, and some unknown spots along the horizon, they both fell asleep knowing something beyond the shadow of a doubt: no matter what happened and no matter what may come, they would always have each other and their family to fight for, to honor, and to love forever more.

Post-Note: So there we have it. This is the final chapter of Lost Souls and Reveries. However, I am so so thrilled to announce (or rather remind you all) that I have signed on to this years CSSNS and my story will actually be a sequel to this story where the gang takes on Gold! It will be told in many character’s POV (think Elsa, Anna, Ruby) BUT it will start with Emma and Killian and end with Emma and Killian AND I promise there is lots of CS thrown into the mix. We’ll get to see them and how they’re doing, and we’ll see them get closer to the birth of their daughter as well as eventual bonus epilogues about what happens when all is said and done. That’s coming out this summer, so keep an eye out if you’re interested. That being said, I am so grateful for each and every one of you who commented, reviewed, and reached out about this story. This has been a labor of love that has taken nearly two years to complete and it is the most out of my wheelhouse story I have ever written. This story challenged me and inspired me, even while it infuriated me and eluded me. My muse played so hot and cold, but the end result, I hope, is something that has made you smile and been something you enjoyed. The goal of all my stories is to spread happiness and fluff, and at a time like this, I think that’s exactly what our fandom could use more of. Anyway, thank you all so much again for your support. I love you all for cheering me on and telling me what you think. It always makes my day to know you like a story, and I truly cherish each kind word. Wishing you all health and happiness in these trying time! – Emily

Tag list: @jennjenn615, @kmomof4, @winterbaby89, @teamhook, @ultraluckycatnd, @resident-of-storybrooke, @artistic-writer, @snowbellewells, @snarkycaptainswan4, @allofdafandoms-blog

#captain swan #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan fluff #captain swan wedding #cs #cs fic #cs au #cs fluff #cs wedding #cssns #captain swan supernatural summer #emma swan #killian jones #the whole storybrooke gang #cs shifter au #lost souls and reveries #lost souls au #lost souls 25

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always-la-belle-epoque · 5 years ago

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hi what is mash and why do you love it so much because i need to know if i need to love it too thanks

Hello, anon! It took a bit because I wanted to put time into my answers, so here you are!

What Is M*A*S*H:

M*A*S*H is a tv show about doctors/nurses stationed at a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (M*A*S*H) unit on the frontlines of the Korean War. The show focuses on the medical staff as they desperately try to save the lives of young soldiers. Many of the doctors are draftees and they are faced with trying to cope with the horror of a war they want no part of and that is the absolute antithesis to their professional calling. They fight against death every day, struggle against military bureaucracy, and try to keep their sanity. Often that deep stress is released in humor, practical jokes, and wildly unmilitary antics, but the true costs and realities of war are never treated lightly. I’ve never seen another show that can make me laugh so hard and then turn on a dime to make me cry just as deeply a second later. The show is a beautiful examination of human nature, heart, found family, loss, helplessness, despair, exhaustion, humanity, and hope,.

M*A*S*H ran for 11 years, from 1972-1983 and the finale, Goodbye, Farewell and Amen, is still the most-watched television broadcast in history (the NYC sewer nearly faced collapse because people would all flush the toilet at the same time during commercials, and the streets were totally empty of cars as over half the country, 150+ mil people, watched the finale live together all at the same time. Can you imagine?!). Plus, it’s been in continuous syndication for 45 years which is impressive. M*A*S*H is for all generations, it resonates far beyond the era in which it was made, or which it was made about.

Why Do I Love M*A*S*H So Much (in general):

I don’t think there is another show out there in the history of the world that has written such narratively wonderful, deeply moving character arcs. I don’t know if there’s another show out there where the characters grow so much from their relationships with one another. Or a show that depicts masculinity in such a healthy, tender way. It is normal on M*A*S*H for male characters to: Cry. Hug. Tuck each other in. Hold hands. Perform emotional labor. Actively listen. Dance together. Sleep with teddy bears (and not have it be a joke). Admit they were wrong. Change and grow from being wrong. Etc, etc.

And while Major Margaret Houlihan is the only female lead, her character arc is the most beautiful of any character I have ever watched or read. The show doesn’t start out particularly feminist, but it definitely ends that way (both male and female characters evolve here and it’s wonderful). And if more tv shows had characters half as complex as Margaret Houlihan, tv would be a whole lot more interesting, and women would be a whole lot farther along toward equality, imo.

Why Do I Love M*A*S*H So Much (the personal):

I was 15 or 16 when I started watching M*A*S*H. I was going through a very dark time in my home life. But my Mom would usually have M*A*S*H on while making dinner or just after. It was their weird time of day where it seemed like a truce between us. Sometimes I’d even sit all 5’8 of my gangly teenage body on her lap and we’d just watch like that with her arms around me (which given that things were darkly terrible the rest of the time it was like being a small kid again in a way I really needed). We’d talk about the characters. We’d talk about the stories. We both loved Margaret Houlihan (it’s interesting that Margaret has the most valuable traits I learned from my Mom - things I like most about her and am grateful she taught me despite all the bad stuff).

Soon I was racing home after school and jamming in a blank VHS so that I could record each ep. I’d cross reference between tv guide and IMDB to try to see if any eps that I hadn’t seen yet would be on so I could record them for my collection. I made an elaborate cataloging system because they weren’t shown in order! And some eps were shown only rarely!! (I’m only 28, it amazes me that this was how things were not that long ago lol).

Anyway, the DVD box set came out and I saved up alllllll my $ for it. Thank goodness, because then I got sick and for a few years the M*A*S*H characters were the most consistent and truest friends I had. The show is deeply personal for me. I can watch it over, and over, and over. It makes me laugh, and weep, and cheer. It’s like having friends. Like having family.

Should You Love M*A*S*H too?

I want you to love M*A*S*H. I want everyone to love M*A*S*H! And M*A*S*H holds up. It’s still radically progressive. It’s still - in this time where North Korea is a frequent headline, where we have a government we do not trust, in a world where we have been at war since 2001 - deeply relevant.

Here’s the thing though: it was made in the 70s, about events in the 1950s, and this is 2019 tumblr-land. You’ve all read the roasts about lack of critical thinking skills on this website and ability to contextualize, and those posts are unfortunately not wrong. And the world has changed - and changed for even better than what was, at the time, truly radical! Even terms that were the liberal, pc term in the 70s have changed now and are not liberal or pc anymore which for the 2019 watcher might raise eyebrows. But the show is extremely pointed about calling out racism, homophobia, sexism, military fetishism, colonization, etc. I think maybe the only other show I can think of that goes so hard at dogged and relentless political call outs would be One Day at a Time. So I feel protective of M*A*S*H because in 50 years maybe we will look back at ODaaT and say yikes about certain things, though that feels crazy to say now.

If you do want to watch, here’s my advice (pull down your pants and slide on the ice (sorry, omg M*A*S*H jokeee)):

Do not start with S1. Start with S4, or S5 even. For one thing, there are some cast changes at the start of S4 so you get intro-ed to everyone again in “Welcome to Korea pt 1 & 2” and “Change of Command.” It’s a really good starting point to see a lot of characters on the brink of change. Don’t get me wrong, I still really love S1-3 but the characters haven’t grown yet. I love going back because I know them so well, but if you’re just meeting them, I recommend getting to know them in the middle of their journey, watch them evolve, and then go back and see where they started. And I think Col. Potter/BJ really elevated the tone of the show.

Because M*A*S*H is an older tv show, most people who love M*A*S*H never watched the show in order because we could only watched it in syndication! And you don’t really need to watch in order! In fact, CBS had the final call for episode order so sometimes even the air order is different than the writing, filming, intended order. Also, because they had 11 years of content over a 3 years of war, the show itself isn’t chronological. Due to probability (there are just more Potter/BJ eps) I saw more S4+ eps when I was first watching the show so again that’s my newbie preference. Now that it’s on Hulu (and remastered OMG) it might be tempting to watch in order, but really do recommend skipping around or at least starting later in for sure. You’ll learn context as you go (recs below). Then once you get the characters and their arcs it’s suuuuper fascinating to watch in order.

Fight me: Is everyone bisexual on this show??! Yes, yes they are. This is where I go full 2019 tumblr-brain, lol, but looking back I think it’s one of the reasons I loved it before I understood myself. It’s gentle, tender, pretty wavy. Alan Alda’s Hawkeye Pierce is, like, arguably canonically bi, like I even wonder if he was intentionally written/played that way on the dl. It’s pretty blatant?? And don’t even get me started on Margaret Houlihan. Godddddddd.

On that note, and maybe you will fall over, but Margaret and Hawkeye are my actual, #1, forever OTP. Which is weird for you, dear readers, I’m sure, as I run a v strict wlw blog and I’m very proud about that. But broken people who heal and change and grow because of the other is my tea, jam, and bread (”crackers and jam! too bad!” ;) ), and so far the writing of other characters and relationships hasn’t a hope of even coming into the range of depth these characters have (obvs not just wlw ships, all other mlw ships are The Worst as well, we’re all doomed, why does tv suck). But anyway, I would take them over any ship any day of the week goombye (but also….shipping Margaret is kinda like….not the point of Margaret Houlihan).

It’s worth noting that M*A*S*H has a character named Maxwell Klinger who wears a dress to try to get out of the army via a Section 8 (previously known as a “psycho”) discharge (remember lgbtq was still classified as a mental illness, smh). Obviously, this is potentially triggering. And, obviously, not okay in today’s world. To me the show does call out that it is the policies/laws/politics that are crazy, not Klinger. I think there are still some fairly modern ideas in his portrayal in that anyone who treats him like he is crazy, or is disrespectful, is very pointedly shown to be bigoted/an antagonist. Klinger is excellent at his job, brave, loyal, true, and that’s all anyone who is a protagonist cares about (and I do think they try to show to the extend they could during the time it aired that even if Klinger were not doing it for a discharge, they would respond the same way). Fwif, imo, Klinger isn’t played as a one note joke for wearing dresses, in fact, to an extent, he does wear them utterly sincerely. He loves, deeply loves, clothes and fashion because loving something gives him something to live for. It becomes his passion, not a gag. The gag is that Klinger will do anything to get out of the war through any available loophole he hears about (having an imaginary pet camel, eating 10 sausages in a single day, eating a jeep, trying to get into West Point aka join the military to get out of the military), etc. His comrades in arms treat him very sincerely and are very protective. Early on, a jeep comes in with wounded and Radar pulls Klinger away from the blood, “careful, you’ll get your dress dirty” in the most serious, sweet way. Col Potter is always very serious and sincere about telling Klinger when one of his dresses is a fav, and Klinger positively glows. When Klinger has to trade his dress collection to local women in exchange for shelter for the wounded during a bug out, Col. Potter, regular army in his 3rd war, tells Klinger (who is in tears) that it’s the finest act of bravery he has ever seen (and he means it). When Margaret desperately wants to look pretty and Klinger pulls out one of his best frocks and helps her dress in it - Margaret who grew up in combat boots wanting a crew cut - it’s pretty emotional (and I bawl when he gives her the wedding dress, goddd). As for Klinger himself, he’s one of my favorite characters. He has the biggest heart and I love him (and yes, I might feel differently if I had a different life experience than I do - that is why I’m flagging this as something that might not be for everyone, or might be trigger - because history already is triggering, and not everyone might be as moved by him as I am).

If you’re a 30 Rock fan you will know the star Alan Alda as Milton Greeen, Jack Donaghy’s father, and if you love Beauty and the Beast you will know that the actor who voiced Cogsworth is a major (lol pun) character in S6-11! But that’s all crazy to me because they are always M*A*S*H, first and forever, and always in my mind! I can’t believe they’re all in their 80s now, or that so many of them have passed. :( They are truly my whole heart, my family, my home.

If you do want to watch, recommend you start with the following eps (omg this list is long but it feels so short):

Welcome to Korea pt 1 + 2 (s4)

Change of Command (s4)

Aid Station (s3)

Death Takes a Holiday (s9)

Carry on, Hawkeye (s2)

Bug Out pt 1 + 2 (s5)

Dear Sigmund (s5)

Period of Adjustment (s8) *my first ep ever :,)

The Bus (s4)

Sometimes You Hear the Bullet (s1)

Tuttle (s1)

Crisis (s2)

O.R. (s3)

5 O'Clock Charlie (s2)

The Nurses (s5)

The Interview (s4)

Movie Tonight (s5)

Abyssinia, Henry (s3)

Hepatitis (s5)

Your Hit Parade (s6)

Peace on Us (s7)

Eye for a Tooth (s7)

Old Soldiers (s8)

Life Time (s8)

Stars and Stripes (s8)

Hey, Look Me Over (s11)

There’s a million more things I could say about the show. I feel like I haven’t summarized it justly. If anyone wants to chime in with why they love M*A*S*H, what your fav ep is, etc, please do :)

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