#there’s no way to check and i was pretty sure i’d killed 2 before in emprise du lion. like 99% sure

[danielnelsen]

WHAT A WAY TO FINISH THE TRIAL ACHIEVEMENTS YOOOOOO

[cloudwhisper23]

I'm too lazy to format, so if you want proper formatting on this, I've posted it on Ao3! This is a continuation from the last art trade I did with @pixlokita about their Werebunny Jeremy AU (we've decided to call it Cut Right Through Me)

Below the cut is the link to the story on Ao3, and the full part that I just completed! Fair warning, this is a pretty decent length, roughly 9k words. Enjoy!

“You’re mean, you know that?” Jeremy said irritably as he dropped into the passenger seat.

“I don’t care. He’s dangerous, Jeremy.”

“Dangerous, yet you apparently have been calling him,” Jeremy muttered, slouching in the chair.

“To find you! Speaking of, where were you this week?”

“Around.”

“Not home.” Ramona shot him a glare as she backed out of the driveway. “Which by the way, I went to your house. It’s an absolute mess. And you know how to get bloodstains out of things-“

“I was going to get to it.” Don’t mention Percy, please don’t remind me. Jeremy wished he was back in Michael’s house, still being interrogated for being there. It was much better than the absolute grilling he was getting from his sister.

“You’re lucky I helped clean up,” Ramona sniffed. “And you owe me for Percy’s vet bills, by the way. I know you’re a disaster on a regular basis, but whatever crisis you had will not get you out of your responsibilities mister.”

“Vet bills?” Jeremy echoed, flinching slightly when she mentioned Percy.

“Yeah, I had to take Percy to the vet. Some animal must’ve broken into your house after you ran off or something because he was hiding in your room scared out of his wits and covered in dried blood. He’ll be fine, but honestly. What could’ve been so important that you ran off and left Percy to fend for himself?”

“I didn’t know Percy survived,” Jeremy answered quietly.

“Well, you should’ve checked,” Ramona replied grimly. “He’s only still alive because I went to find you.”

“Yeah…” Jeremy pulled his shirt up over his head to bury the way his eyes were swimming. Everything was just too much for him right now. “Can you just- Can we go back to your house? I don’t think I can go home right now.”

“That’s where we’re headed,” Ramona answered gently. “I’m sorry to yell at you, Jer. I really am. I was just worried.”

“I know…” Jeremy rubbed his face into the soft fabric of the shirt. He wished he could’ve had a chance to apologize or make some kind of effort to befriend Michael before they’d abruptly left. “If it helps, I hardly remember anything from the last few days.”

“I noticed.” Ramona’s hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. “Hey, maybe we could go visit Becky for a bit. I know it’s been a while since I’ve seen her. I’m guessing you haven’t seen her lately either.”

“I can’t,” Jeremy said softly. He didn’t know when he’d transform again, and he couldn’t bear to have it happen around his family, not when he knew that Becky would dig straight for the cause of it, probably making him have to go through it longer than he wanted anyway. He wanted to have something for his friend to work with when he shared the problem.

Or maybe he wanted to handle something himself for once.

“Jer, are you sure? Not to push you or anything, but I’m probably going to head there at the end of the week. I was already planning the trip before you vanished, and now that you’re back-“

“I wouldn’t want to stop you from going,” Jeremy interrupted firmly. “I need to finish up some loose ends around here before I’d go. But if you could take Percy with you, I’d appreciate it.”

Maybe it would be best to just disappear. To be hunted and killed like the monster he was while Ramona was out of town. While she was safe.

“If you’re sure,” Ramona said, sounding hesitant still. “I’ll take Percy with me. I’m sure Becky misses him as much as he probably misses her.”

“Well, he is the son of her old dog. I’d be surprised if she didn’t miss him,” Jeremy answered, finally peeking out of his shirt.

“You’re such a big baby sometimes, Jeremy,” Ramona said softly, shaking his shoulder. “We’ll get you sorted out. Maybe find you a man to help you relieve your stress. You certainly need that-“

“Stop, stop. We’re not having this conversation-“

“If you just tried to have a relationship-“

“I thought you were all about not having a man to rely on for everything,” Jeremy countered.

“Well, I have different biases.”

“You only agreed because Becky said it first,” Jeremy accused, elbowing his sister.

“Hey, no assaulting the driver. Besides, I never said you have to rely on him for everything. Just… some things.”

“I’m less shallow than you,” Jeremy replied, huffing as he returned his gaze to the window.

“Oh, I doubt that. I saw the way you were eying up Michael. You wanted him,” Ramona teased.

“Oh, come on, I’m allowed to think a guy is hot, Mona! And he’s-“

“Just your type. Except I don’t think his personality is right for you. He’s too bitter, too grouchy. Not good enough for my little ball of sunshine.”

“I have four inches on you,” Jeremy argued.

“Not where it counts,” Ramona hummed in reply. “But seriously. I’m going to emphasize this, so pay attention. Don’t you dare go pining after Michael Afton.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes. “I think you already burned that bridge too badly to rebuild.”

“Good. But if there’s still a silver of doubt in your mind, I’m going to update you on everything once we get home. That man has a bloody history.”

“So you’re calling him some kind of monster?” Jeremy scoffed. “Come on, he called you right away when he found me, didn’t he?”

“How do we know it was right away? Maybe he drugs people for kicks and-“

“Just because I don’t remember the last few days does not mean I don’t remember last night. And nothing happened! We didn’t have sex, I promise you.”

“Mhm,” Ramona sounded unconvinced. “If you say so.”

“I’m never going to get you to believe me on any of this stuff, am I?” Jeremy groaned hiding his face as it burned. He shouldn’t be thinking of Michael in that context, especially now. “You’re so mean to me.”

“I love you too, Jeremy.”

Jeremy went to take a nap when he got to his sister’s apartment, crashing immediately on the couch. He needed to fix his sleep for work later that night anyway.

Ramona dragged him away from his nap to give him a bunch of information about the background of Fazbear Entertainment, and the whole reason she was suspicious of Michael. Clearly, she wasn’t done with their earlier conversation. She really doesn’t believe that I’ll leave it alone, Jeremy thought to himself as she dropped a bunch of newspaper clippings into his lap.

“He killed his little brother, Jeremy.”

“Allegedly.” Jeremy’s eyebrows furrowed as he skimmed the newspaper.

“And his father killed a bunch of kids back in 1985. At the same location you’ve been working at.”

“They never proved that,” Jeremy argued. He shoved the paper away, avoiding looking at the image of Evan Afton. The kid gave him an uneasy feeling.

“You can’t deny the evidence. Just because they weren’t convicted of murder doesn’t mean they didn’t kill anyone.”

That’s exactly what that’s supposed to mean, actually. Jeremy’s mouth thinned. He gave the newspapers back to his sister. “Okay, fine. Whatever.”

“Jeremy-“

“Can I please just take a nap in peace?” Jeremy begged. “I don’t need this extra stuff.”

Jeremy was glad to be able to get away again later that day. He knew his sleep was skewed, and he’d probably be exhausted for work, but he didn’t care. That was one thing he could rely on to be consistent. They’d be fine so long as he clocked in on time and clocked out. And if the animatronics caught him off guard, so be it.

He’d missed enough shifts already, and even without his uniform, he’d be fine going into work. Who was going to see him anyway?

He clocked in early, fiddling with his flashlight as he started his patrol. It was considered dumb to do things like this, he knew, but he hadn’t had any issues with walking around during his shift yet. And even if he did, he doubted the animatronics could do much to him anyway, now that he remembered the incident with Toy Bonnie.

The only real question was whether or not that golden bear would come back to kick him out again, but since Jeremy had never seen the bear before that time, he guessed it was a very rare occurrence thing that only happened if an animatronic was hurt or damaged. Then why wouldn’t it be protecting Mangle?

Shaking the weird thought out of his head, Jeremy stepped into Parts and Service, hoping he’d see the glint of his keys somewhere on the floor. Fritz usually forgot to lock up, and Jeremy had taken up the habit of locking up behind him. Since he’d lost his keys the last time he’d been in for a shift, he figured they’d be around somewhere.

He found himself out of luck. Sighing, Jeremy checked that all the old animatronics were still on the floor. Bonnie was still around, and with a twinge of guilt, Jeremy spotted Toy Bonnie’s mangled remains tucked between Bonnie’s torso and his arm. Best not to think too hard about that, Jeremy told himself, turning the beam to the rest of the room.

The faintest rustling noise had Jeremy immediately back on his guard. He turned to see a locker door falling open, revealing a golden suit. His grip on his flashlight tightened as he stared at the golden rabbit costume. It didn’t seem to move much more.

Maybe it was something they used during the day shifts? They were short a Bonnie after all. Still, a golden variation seemed odd as it was on the complete opposite end of the color spectrum from the other two Bonnie models Jeremy had seen.

He was almost tempted to look closer it at, but he knew better than to mess with the animatronics. Especially after his run-in with Toy Bonnie. He did not want to stir up the crazy bear thing again, no thank you.

Shaking his head, Jeremy turned back toward the door. Then he hesitated. The red light on the security camera was blinking at him. Who was in the security office?

Deciding to forget the rest of his early patrol for now, Jeremy made his way back to the office to see a very grumpy Michael shining a flashlight down the hall at him, a small boy also looking at him from a perch on top of the desk.

“Uh… hi?” That’s not Scott, Jeremy’s mind supplied. The realization hit him a moment later as he recognized the boy from Ramona’s newspaper clippings. Evan Afton.

His eyes seemed almost hypnotizing as he glared at Jeremy. “Huh. So you did survive then. Fancy that.”

“I… thanks?” Jeremy finished making his way into the office, weary of the kid on the desk. “Do I know you?”

Evan snorted. “Don’t be stupid. No.”

“Oh. Okay?”

Michael made an impatient noise. “Jeremy, don’t just stand in the doorway like a lost animatronic. Sit down if you’re going to bother me.”

“Right. Sorry.” Jeremy hurriedly went to sit down in the rusty folding chair next to Michael. “How did you know I’d be here?”

“I didn’t. That chair has just been here every shift I’ve worked,” Michael answered, checking through the cameras. “I can’t believe you’re insane enough to do that though.”

“Do what?”

“Go into Parts and Service. Cassidy doesn’t like it when people come in there,” Evan supplied. “Nobody’s supposed to go in there at night.”

“It’s part of my patrol,” Jeremy said defensively.

“You’re insane for doing a patrol in the first place!” Michael exclaimed. “I thought you’d broken in or something, and I was going to handle it, but Evan said that’s Cassidy’s job. Which, you had to be testing her patience with how long you stuck around in there.”

“I feel like I should be worried.”

“You should be.” Evan assessed him as Michael went back to focusing on the cameras. “I thought the rabbit thing killed you, you know.”

“Should I know what you’re talking about?” Jeremy asked, uncomfortable as the ghost boy studied him. He made Jeremy exceedingly uneasy, and he couldn’t describe why.

A helpful thought decided to interject for a moment, thankfully making him feel a little bit safer. Michael couldn’t have killed his brother. Otherwise, why would they be working together like this?

“Yeah.” Evan tossed a crumpled hat into Jeremy’s lap. “This is yours, right?”

Startled, Jeremy scrambled to catch it, seeing the black stains spotting the rim and front of his hat. Because it was his hat, the one he’d been wearing the last time he transformed. Battered and covered in black oil and whatever that other fluid was, his hat was mostly still intact.

“Where did you get this?” Jeremy asked, smoothing it out to shove it back over his head.

Amused, Evan let out another scoff. “Do you even have a brain? I lost half mine, and I can still connect the dots.”

“His sister is much quicker than he is, that’s for sure,” Michael replied before Jeremy could sputter out a reply.

“You guys are mean.” Jeremy crossed his arms with a pout.

“If you’re going to be here, you can check the hallway and the left vent.” Michael tapped his flashlight, ignoring his words.

“Right, yeah okay.” Jeremy shone the beam of his flashlight down the hallway. “So, what? You’ve just been in the pizzeria the entire time?”

“Yeeep,” Evan answered, leaning across the desk to change the camera and wind the music box. “Most don’t usually live to see the sunrise after they’ve seen me though.”

“Lucky them,” Michael muttered, pulling the camera monitor out of his brother’s reach. “You’re insufferable.”

“And you’re a big grouch,” Evan retorted. He peered into the left vent. “Eugh, that stupid balloon kid is here. Scram!” His shout made whatever was in the vent squeal and scramble away.

Jeremy blinked. “So the animatronics are just scared of you?”

“Not all of them.” Evan answered with a meaningful look at the camera. “Just the insignificant ones.”

“Which translates to, all of them except the Puppet,” Michael added.

“I don’t scare Cassidy.”

“Cassidy’s not an animatronic, Evan.”

“I suppose that’s true.” Evan sighed. “She hates me.”

“I still doubt that.” Michael clicked to the Parts and Service camera, frowning. “You didn’t touch anything while you were back there, did you?”

“Not a thing. I was hoping to find my keys, but-“ Jeremy yelped as Evan tossed a set of keys at him. His flashlight crashed to the ground as he scrambled to catch them before they hit him. “Oh. Thanks, I guess?”

“You’re welcome.” Evan peered at the camera his brother was looking at. “You’re sure you didn’t touch anything?”

“I didn’t!” Jeremy protested, even as both brothers looked at him suspiciously. “I was tempted to touch the yellow rabbit guy when he fell out of that locker, but I didn’t, I promise.”

“Yellow rabbit?” Evan’s eyebrows scrunched. “I’ll be right back.”

Michael seemed worried too, his own mouth tightening into a thin line.

“What’s the deal with the… yellow rabbit?” Jeremy ventured to ask.

“Don’t worry about it I’m guessing you must not have seen him the night he was in here. Were you attacked by Toy Bonnie or something?”

“Uh, yeah.” Jeremy chuckled nervously, his spine prickling as he realized that they were probably talking about him. “But I can’t say I’ve seen any yellow rabbits before today.”

“Weird. Evan said he and Cassidy scared it off the last time.” Michael frowned deeper. “It crammed itself into a locker?”

“Well, I don’t know about that. But it was in a locker. I thought it was an animatronic though.”

“It is,” Michael supplied stiffly. “But it’s harmless. It shouldn’t be able to move at all.

“…” Jeremy opened his mouth to ask another question, but he didn’t know how to phrase it.

“Don’t worry about it, okay? Evan’s got it handled,” Michael replied sharply. “Just keep checking the vents.”

“Right, got it.” Jeremy retrieved his flashlight. “You seem to have a bad experience with it.”

“I guess you could say that,” Michael answered shortly. “And you really never saw it when Toy Bonnie attacked you?”

“Uh, nope. I remember working on my shift and then waking up naked in your house. That’s… about it…” Jeremy lied awkwardly.

“Hmm…” Michael didn’t seem too sure about that, but he let it go. “So you didn’t see the giant golden bunny in my house either?”

“Nope!” Jeremy scratched his neck nervously. “Do you think it was the same one Evan was worried about?”

“Can’t be,” Michael replied. “The one I saw was a literal rabbit. This one is animatronic. There’s no way those two are the same thing.”

“I suppose not.” Jeremy shrugged, regretting holding up this conversation. “You seem… less grouchy than earlier.”

Michael turned to Jeremy wearily. “I had a rough morning.”

“Yeah, no, I get that. I just… I wanted to apologize for my sister’s behavior this morning.” Jeremy cleared his throat. “And um. I was wondering if, like, there was a way to sort things out?”

“Oh, you mean about borrowing my clothes? Don’t even sweat it, I don’t need them back.” Michael returned his focus to his work.

“I know Ramona can be awful sometimes-“

“I don’t care about that, Jeremy.” Michael finally gave him proper eye contact, shooting a jolt up Jeremy’s spine. Damn, that was hot. “I don’t care that your sister thinks I’m a killer, or that she thinks my father is also a killer. I couldn’t care less, because she’s right.”

“Oh.” Jeremy shifted uncomfortably, surprised. “Who did you…?”

“Evan. My baby brother.” Michael turned away again, his voice leaving no room to continue the conversation. Jeremy struggled to find a way to resume it, but he couldn’t.

It was all too comforting when Evan reappeared to confirm that Jeremy hadn’t touched the suit.

“Cassidy can’t figure out why it would have moved,” Evan said, peering at the camera suspiciously. “Music box.”

“Stop telling me what to do,” Michael grumbled, but he wound the music box.

“Hey, so how did you die?” Jeremy asked, even though he knew the answer.

Evan raised a surprised eyebrow at him. “That’s such a brash question to ask a nine-year-old.”

“Yeah, but depending on how long you’ve been dead, technically you aren’t nine anymore.”

“Leave him alone,” Michael growled.

“You don’t need to coddle me, Mikey.” Evan rolled his eyes. “What year is it?”

“1987,” Jeremy supplied, pretending to be less afraid of the way Michael was glaring at him. He checked the hallway with his vent to try to divert attention. “It is November.”

“So I’ve been dead for like four years then. My dad killed me.”

“He did?” Jeremy raised an eyebrow at Michael, who scowled.

“He’s lying to you. I was the one who killed him.”

“The accident was an accident,” Evan argued. “You’re not a murderer, Mike.”

“I’m close enough to one,” he shot back.

“So wait, why would you say your father killed you?”

“Because he did.” Evan crossed his legs and peered at Jeremy. “I see why the others like you so much.”

“Uh, thanks?”

“You’re so…” Evan snapped his fingers, trying to think of the word. “Honest. Genuine. Something like that.”

“Candid, maybe?” Jeremy offered.

Michael made an irritated noise as Evan brightened. “That’s the word! Yeah, you’re just so candid and blunt about everything. It’s refreshing. No handholding or coddling.”

“I don’t coddle you more than you try to coddle me,” Michael grumbled.

“Anyway,” Evan shot a pointed look at his brother. “What actually happened was Mikey tried to play a prank on me regarding Fredbear. One of the animatronics of the original diner.” When Jeremy looked confused, Evan elaborated. “The first place wasn’t Freddy’s. Our father and Uncle Henry opened the business as Fredbear’s Family Diner. There were two original animatronics. Fredbear and Spring Bonnie.”

Michael made an impatient noise. “I stuck him in Fredbear’s mouth, and the bloody bear bit down on his head. It was my fault.”

“Your fault I was in the hospital, but not your fault I died,” Evan countered. “Michael was all about apologizing, promising to be a better brother if I just woke up. But when Father came to visit, he told me that this attention-seeking was ridiculous, that I should just open my eyes so the bad press would go away.”

Evan’s tone grew quieter, and even Michael paused, his expression softening. “He said that if I didn’t get up, I didn’t deserve to live. And then I was in the suit, with only Fredbear to keep me company.”

That’s the golden bear then, Jeremy thought. “So, your father is your killer?”

“Not just mine. All the missing kids too.” Evan shrugged. “We’d tear him to pieces if we could find him, but there’s only so many hours ghosts are awake.”

“Presumably only during this shift,” Michael added. “I don’t think Phil ever mentioned the haunted animatronics, and Ramona only mentioned rumors about them.”

Evan and Michael both didn’t seem very inclined to speak much after that. Michael did try to stop him when he went for his next patrol, but he didn’t care too much. The patrol was something he’d always done, and just because he was sharing a shift with someone in the office now didn’t mean he was going to stop doing it. It just gave him a longer time limit.

Maybe at some point he could ask about this mysterious ‘Cassidy’ that Evan kept mentioning. But for now, he checked corners and looked in the camera blind spots, knowing that most didn’t ever bother to check. Toy Freddy and Toy Chica didn’t seem too interested in leaving the stage tonight, which Jeremy was grateful for. The Puppet was sealed away, the music box wound tightly to keep the music playing.

And he remembered Evan’s words about Cassidy preferring to have people stay out of Parts and Service. Instead of entering the room, he just whispered at the door, “I’m trusting you to have everything handled in there Cassidy.”

A cold feeling enveloped him, and he shuddered as he walked away. It was weird to miss Mangle on a shift, but he supposed they wouldn’t come around while Evan was guarding the office. He checked the back door quickly to ensure it was locked and was glad to find that Michael had indeed locked it behind him.

“I wish I could complain about the job you’re doing here, but it seems to be fantastic,” Jeremy said with a sigh as he plopped back into his chair.

Michael raised an eyebrow at that, the constant frown relenting slightly. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Got the door locked and everything. Better than Fritz does, anyway.”

“Door was already locked when I got here,” Michael said. “But I’ll take the compliment.”

Huh. Interesting. Jeremy was curious about Michael’s sense of humor though, so he poked a little more. “Of course, I can’t really give you all the credit, since it seems that Evan and Cassidy are the ones who are actually in charge around here. They just tolerate you.”

Evan snorted at that, covering his mouth as Michael’s expression returned to a scowl. “I don’t know that you can say you’ve been doing much either, Jeremy.”

“I’m not claiming to. But the animatronics like me, according to Evan, so I have a one-up on you.”

Michael shook his head, but he didn’t rise to the bait.

The rest of the night passed in somewhat stiff silence.

“See you tomorrow night, I guess. Fitzgerald.” Michael rose, offering a hand for Jeremy to shake.

“Same to you, dude.” Jeremy shook his hand cheerily, trying not to visibly wince as Michael crushed his hand in the shake. “Until next time, Afton-“

As soon as he started to say the last word, Michael shoved him back against the wall, covering his mouth. A thrill ran through Jeremy as pain shot up his back. He couldn’t help a startled whimper as Michael glared at him with icy blue eyes.

“Never call me that. Understand? Never.”

“I… I understand! Yep! Never going to call you that ever again, never ever!” Jeremy chirped back, knowing his enthusiasm was way more than the situation required.

“It’s Schmidt. Michael Schmidt.”

“Then… I’ll see you tonight, Schmidt.”

Michael rolled his eyes, pulling a stick of gum from his pocket to start chewing it before he walked out of the security office. Evan had disappeared somewhere around 5, so Jeremy remained to tidy up a tiny bit before walking out to his car.

Michael was still on the sidewalk, presumably going to walk home, and Jeremy did not accept that he was just going to be walking in the chilly air in only his work uniform. He drove alongside Michael, rolling down his window. “Need a ride home?”

“No.” Michael kept walking, not even glancing at the car. “I’m used to walking everywhere.”

“You could catch a cold!” Jeremy protested.

“Good thing I’m not the only one on shift then,” he shot back, blowing a bubble with his gum. “Go home, Fitzgerald.”

“Alright fine. But if you get sick, I’m going to say ‘I told you so.’”

“I’m so terrified of the threat,” Michael replied sarcastically. “Goodbye.”

Rude, Jeremy thought with mild annoyance. But this was progress from last time! Last time, Michael hadn’t had much to say except “fuck off,” so at least Jeremy got through it this time without that. And he’d also gotten information that Ramona hadn’t had, which meant she was wrong about Michael Afton.

“So ghosts are real?” Ramona pressed as Jeremy hung up the phone after receiving a call from his friend Sebastian.

He was so lucky Seb was willing to give him a discount, so lucky he was willing to do repairs without questioning things. Jeremy had already gotten rid of the couch and burned his old sheets. The last step to making the whole rabbit nightmare a forgotten memory was the torn flooring.

“Yeah. And Evan has a much better sense of humor than his brother.” Jeremy shot his sister a skeptical look. “You’re not surprised by anything else I said?”

“Like what? The kid forgiving his older brother? You said he was like nine?”

Jeremy didn’t know how to respond to that. She wasn’t wrong. But it didn’t feel like she was completely right either. “But-“

“Jer, you’re being dumb about all this. You need to think with your brain at least some of the time.”

“I am using my brain! I was asking all the questions I needed answers to.”

“Yeah? Then why are you still so blatantly defending Michael Afton?”

Because if he’s a monster, then so am I, Jeremy thought to himself, but he didn’t say it out loud. “Forget it.”

“Jeremy-“

“No, it’s not worth arguing about. But Evan gave me back my keys.” Jeremy stood up moodily. “It was nice talking with you, Ramona, but I gotta get some sleep before tonight’s shift.”

“Jer, what’s bothering you? You know you can tell me about it, right?” Ramona pressed.

“I know. I just don’t feel like getting into it right now. That’s all. Have a good day, Mona.”

“You too, Jer.” Ramona hesitated for another moment. “I’m here for you, if you need anything.”

“I know.”

Ramona shot him a worried look as she got through the door, careful to avoid catching her pants on the splintered wood that Sebastian was going to replace.

After his sister left, Jeremy stripped, unsure of what triggered him to turn into the rabbit. He didn’t want to ruin clothes that didn’t belong to him though, so he wasn’t taking chances as he went to rest properly for the first time in ages.

Michael let himself back into his house with a heavy sigh. That shift had been long. He undid his tie, ignoring the impatient meowing at his feet while he changed out of his work clothes. “Give me some time, Logan.”

Logan meowed again, pawing at his empty bowl.

“One second, Logan.” Michael pulled a new shirt over his head before giving the cat a scratch behind his ear. “I’ll get that bowl filled in no time.”

After feeding Logan, Michael was tempted to go out and look for the bunny again. Surely it couldn’t have gone far, right? Even if it had been gone for a day, maybe it was just hungry and hunting. Maybe it had tried to return while Michael was gone and couldn’t get back in. Maybe-

You’re overthinking this. God, you are such a freak Michael. Michael shook his head, walking toward the place where he’d last seen the rabbit. Maybe the dumpster was its home?

His hopefulness diminished as he approached the dumpster. He couldn’t see any sign of it anyway. Shoulders slumping, he prepared to walk back, so he could let Logan have his own walk.

A soft thumb behind him made him hesitate though. Michael turned, excitement growing as he saw the giant shape of the golden rabbit who’d appeared very suddenly. “There you are!” Michael exclaimed, beaming as he reached out for the bunny.

His new friend nuzzled into his hand immediately, rubbing its fluffy face against his hand. “I missed you buddy,” Michael whispered into the overwhelmingly soft fur.

A soft rumble in the bunny’s throat soothed him, making all the irritation and torment from the last day completely vanishing. “You can’t just disappear on me, you know,” Michael said, trying for a scolding tone.

The bunny thumped his back foot as a reply.

“What? Are you going to say you didn’t miss me? Because I think you’d be lying.”

The bunny nosed at his neck. A soft, wet feeling made Michael’s neck prickle in the cold.

“Is that a way of saying you did miss me?” Michael asked, scratching up behind the rabbit’s ear.

He stumbled a bit as the rabbit rocked forward, knocking him off-balance a little bit. The rabbit kept nuzzling him until he was completely knocked to the ground. Startled, he didn’t even attempt to get up before he was completely enveloped in soft, warm, golden fur.

“Hey, hang on a sec-“ Michael tried to protest before the bunny squished its head down over his, keeping him even more safely enveloped in warmth. “I need to let Logan out for a bit! You’re going to make it so a poor little kitty can’t stretch his legs, is that what you want?”

A grumbling noise resonated in the back of the bunny’s throat, but it let Michael get to his feet. “Thank you.”

Michael walked back, knowing that the bunny was going to follow him back this time. He didn’t even need to stress about it. Michael grabbed his mail from the box on his way back into the house, tossing the pile onto his table before shaking the harness to get Logan to come running.

“Time for your walk, you crazy cat,” Michael said, pretending to ignore the rabbit who’d opted to lurk on the front lawn instead of coming in this time. Maybe it likes to be free to roam, he thought to himself.

Logan was happy enough to take his walk, purring as they returned. Shortly after Michael walked through the door and started undoing Logan’s harness, the rabbit wriggled into the house, looming behind Michael.

After he’d shut the door, Michael let out a big yawn, rubbing his eyes briefly. Gotta check the mail first, he scolded himself as he yawned again.

Glancing at the top of the stack, Michael felt himself pale. It was another letter from his father, this time marked as urgent. He hadn’t even opened the last one, and now he was getting another? Michael was just grateful his father didn’t know his phone number, but then actual horror struck him. He could just come to my house.

Michael twitched, grabbing the letter so tightly the edges crinkled. With a solid grip, he ripped the envelope and the contents in half. The rabbit flinched, clearly not expecting such a violent action. Logan was unaffected, as usual.

He tossed the torn remains into his trash bin and stalked to his bedroom, trying so hard not to start trembling or crying. The bunny nudged the door open and sniffed at the edge of his bed. Michael patted the side of his bed, giving it permission to jump up. The bunny took the permission easily, pressing comforting warmth into Michael’s back as tears leaked from the corners of his eyes.

“Why can’t he just leave me alone?” Michael sobbed quietly. “It’s bad enough knowing that I did something monstrous, but he does it on purpose. I bet he’s out there doing it to some other poor kids now, and I’m just not strong enough to stand up to him.”

The bunny rumbled out a growl at the blame Michael placed on himself, but it still soothed his pain with soft fur. He rolled over and buried his face properly into the fur, his fingers tangling into the strands. So soft, he thought to himself, tears dampening the fur of the bunny’s chest.

Not that it seemed to mind, pulling Michael closer as he started drifting off to sleep. “I just don’t get it…” Michael trailed off, finally relaxing enough to let go of consciousness.

Jeremy woke up with his arms wrapped around a sleeping Michael. Why am I not surprised? he thought to himself, carefully untangling himself from his sleeping coworker. He’d kill me if he knew I was here.

Unease sank into Jeremy as he realized he was yet again left to try to sneak out without clothing. But at least he was in Michael’s room this time, and he could just grab clothes without getting caught.

His foot hit something soft and warm, and a disgruntled meow made Jeremy realize the cat was also here. Oh shit. Directing a glare at the cat, Jeremy climbed out of the bed without causing the cat or Michael to wake up completely. The black cat nestled back into his paws, purring loudly as Jeremy snuck a new pair of clothing out of Michael’s drawer.

He left quickly, pushing open a window and crawling out of it, ignoring the pain that shot through his feet as he landed on rocks. Jeremy glanced around before hurrying toward his house, memorizing the address as he left the place.

He felt bad for ditching, but he also knew he could not just stay after all that. Not after how upset Michael had seemed the first time. Until he could control when he turned into a rabbit and maybe stay as a rabbit when around Michael, then he wasn’t taking any chances.

Back home, Jeremy slipped socks onto his feet and glanced at the time. He had plenty of time to spare before work, but he still couldn’t help but feel a bit antsy. I’m not supposed to know where he lives, Jeremy thought glumly.

The phone ringing pulled Jeremy away from spiraling in his obsession. Maybe Ramona was right about all that stuff anyway. “Hello? Jeremy Fitzgerald here.”

“Jeremy! What a pleasant surprise to hear your voice. No offense, but we all thought you were dead!”

“Yeah, that’s what Michael told me,” Jeremy chuckled nervously, wondering why Lloyd was calling him.

“Hey, you’re not too opposed to just sharing that shift with him, right? I mean, I know you said you absolutely did not want to have to deal with kids, and I completely understand. Michael had the same qualms about the shift, but this is the only shift where no one is stuck hanging around children. But you’re all good with that? You’re fine sharing the workload? It's probably better anyway, having two people check on the place during those hours. Keeps the place safer- I mean, more secure!” Lloyd blabbed on, talking so fast Jeremy could barely keep up with what he was saying.

“I’m okay with it. Is he?” Jeremy leaned back against the wall, a finger hooked absently into the phone cord. An excuse to spend more time with Michael? No way was he turning that down.

“Oh! Yeah, uh, he actually seemed more than happy to have someone else there. I guess he doesn’t have the same familiarity you have with the job yet. He’s probably a bit jittery about the atmosphere. You know, he’s never had a nighttime security job before, actually.”

“Lloyd, is that all you needed from me, or is there something else?”

“Oh, that’s it. Uh, except one thing. We found a bunch of the torn remains of your uniform. Did you want a new one? I’m guessing that you’ve been using the spare, but you should really have more than one.”

“By that logic, I should have at least three,” Jeremy pointed out. “In case one is misplaced or ruined, or another incident like the other night happens.”

“Can I ask what happened?”

“Toy Bonnie came after me. I don’t really remember what happened after that,” Jeremy replied swiftly. “I don’t need to fill out an incident report or anything do I? I mean, as far as I’m aware, no one got hurt.”

“Nobody was hurt in the incident. We didn’t actually know that until just now actually.” Lloyd laughed nervously. “No, we don’t need anything from you, don’t worry! It just would’ve helped us if you’d remembered something about Toy Bonnie attacking, or maybe Fritz coming in-“

“I don’t know anything about that, sorry.” Jeremy cleared his throat awkwardly. “But I can be in in a couple minutes if you have extra uniforms ready.”

“Oh! Yeah, I can totally do that. Yeah, if you come in before 6, I can totally get you set up with some new uniforms.”

“Great, I’ll see you at 5 then.”

“Fantastic!”

Jeremy hung up the phone feeling more awkward than ever before. At least he’d have a uniform again.

When he saw Michael at the next shift, he set out by tipping his hat at the other man. No response. Evan seemed a bit distracted today as well, somewhat of a frown crossing his face.

Jeremy sat down awkwardly in his chair, remembering Lloyd’s words from earlier. If he had to guess, maybe Michael had been relieved to have an excuse to make sure Jeremy wasn’t in any danger after all the personal risks he took at work.

“I’m going to do a patrol,” he announced abruptly, picking up his flashlight.

“Don’t die,” Evan said, peering over Michael’s shoulder.

“Right…” Jeremy looked at Michael hopefully, but the other man gave him no indication that he was going to say anything in reply.

The night was somewhat quiet. It was weird having the toy animatronics remaining onstage every night, and Jeremy almost wished they’d move so he could at least know that Toy Bonnie hadn’t been a fluke. Even Mangle hadn’t sought him out since he’d turned, presumably too afraid of him now to approach.

It made sense, considering how Percy was taking the exact same approach with him, but it still stung to know that his dog and his favorite animatronic no longer seemed to see him as a safe person. Even Evan didn’t trust him in that form, if Jeremy’s memory served correctly.

Nobody saw him as more than a monster aside from Michael. Was that why he was so magnetized to the other man? Physical attributes aside, Michael seemed well-guarded, not trusting other people. But he seemed to have a secret affection for animals. Even with the amount he swore at his cat, he seemed to love the cat enough to care for it when he was not in the mood to care for the poor thing.

Sighing, Jeremy started to head back toward the cold atmosphere of the main office. He stopped upon hearing what sounded like sobbing coming from Parts and Service.

“Hey, everything okay in there?” Jeremy asked, hoping for a gentle tone.

“No!” The door flew open, nearly hitting Jeremy in the face, and he couldn’t help but flinch at the small girl glowering at him with thick black tear streaks running down her face. “He’s come back, and I can’t stop him!”

“Who came back?” Jeremy asked, crouching down to her level. “Sorry for asking, but I seem to be a bit out of the loop.”

“You take things more seriously than most,” she huffed. Then she blinked at him. “Wait, you’re that security guard guy. We all thought you died!”

“That seems to be the common consensus,” Jeremy sighed. “But who came back? Clearly he’s no one good if you are unhappy about it.”

“No. He killed me, and he’s gonna kill more kids.”

“Oh.” A prickle of fear made Jeremy tremble a bit at that. “When did he come back?”

“Not too long ago. We didn’t notice the changes in his suit, but-“ she glanced at the darkened area for a moment. “Here, I’ll just show you.”

Cold fingers wrapped around Jeremy’s wrist, and he was startled to discover that apparently ghosts could in fact touch people.

“So, originally, he was in that locker there, right?” the girl gestured at the locker Jeremy had originally spotted the animatronic at.

“Yeah…”

“Well, he’s not anymore. Now he’s on the floor over here,” Cassidy pointed directly at where the golden bunny suit was slumped next to the old Freddy model.

“Oh. And this suit’s not possessed right? Nobody should be moving it?”

“No one should be moving it. Employees can get fired for touching it, much less moving it. And I haven’t seen it move on its own.”

“Ghosts can only do things at this time of night…” Jeremy trailed off thoughtfully. “You think it’s the same guy who killed you?”

“I know it is. I had to ask a bunch of times to get anywhere with Evan. That kid is so tight-lipped, I swear.” The girl shook her head. “But apparently, this suit here can only be activated by a key. One person had that key.”

“Your killer.”

“William Afton,” she confirmed. “At least, that’s what Evan says, but he’s been wrong about so much lately, that I’m just worried he’s wrong about that too.”

“Did you try asking Michael?”

“Evan doesn’t think I should talk to the security guards.” The girl shrugged. “He thinks I’ll just kill you guys. But I’m not that murderous. I still have a brain, unlike some people.”

“So you must be Cassidy?”

“Yep.” Cassidy sighed. “I mean, I don’t want to complain because it makes sense that Evan wants to spend time with his brother, but I miss being able to roam the pizzeria freely. Ever since Toy Bonnie got dinged, I’ve been checking in here to make sure Spring Bonnie hasn’t been used. I think we scared him off pretty well though.”

“Spring Bonnie…?”

“The yellow rabbit suit,” Cassidy pointed, rolling her eyes. “Oh! One more thing. I know you’re like, nocturnal or whatever like we are. But you can actually wake up during the day. Could you like, keep an eye out for someone wearing the suit?”

“I mean, I suppose. Did Evan bring that up to Michael?”

“I doubt it. He hates the idea of getting you guys involved.” Cassidy wrinkled her nose. “Something about trying not to cause more deaths than necessary, but he’s not going to kill an adult out in the open like that. I think it’s fine.”

“Huh. Okay. I mean, I can try…”

“Whatever works.” Cassidy seemed satisfied, finally noticing the red light on in the camera. “Oh! Say cheese!”

“That’s a live feed, Cassidy. It’s not a picture camera.”

“You’re no fun.” Cassidy stuck her tongue out at him. “Bye bye for now. I’ll expect results later.”

“I hope I’ll have results for you.”

“That’s the spirit!” Cassidy said cheerfully before disappearing.

Resigning himself to the blinking light of the security camera, Jeremy went back to the office. If he hadn’t been sure before, Evan’s scowl told him plenty about what he needed to know.

“What were you thinking?” Evan hissed, his eyes so dark there was absolutely no color aside from the darkest of dark pits.

“Uhh…”

“She could’ve killed you!”

“She dragged me in there!” Jeremy said in protest.

“Did she now? Maybe she’s just lonely because she lost her best friend.” Michael shot a pointed look at his brother.

“Cassidy can’t stand me,” Evan scoffed, but he let up on Jeremy a little bit. “What did she want?”

“Help with her little investigation into Spring Bonnie.” Jeremy dropped into his chair and peered at the camera monitor in Michael’s hands. “Still no animatronic movement, huh? Almost like they were told to stay put.”

He raised an eyebrow at Evan. The kid rolled his eyes, the frown not relenting. “Toys aren’t our thing. We watch over the others.”

“So the toys not moving is also suspicious behavior?” Jeremy asked. “Hey, not to be dumb or anything, but how much did your dad work with the animatronics?”

“He helped create them, so a pretty significant amount,” Michael answered. “Evan, I just think you should make up with her.”

“There’s nothing to make up! She doesn’t want anything to do with me, and that’s fine. I’ll stay out of her space, and she can take care of the others!”

“She said you told her to stay in Parts and Service,” Jeremy said.

“You’re going to believe her over me? Mikey, you can’t believe this, surely!”

“I mean, I don’t know what to believe. I’ve never spoken to Cassidy before, and if its your word or Jeremy’s, then I’ll take your word for it. But I do still think you should try to resolve this conflict you have with her-“

“Think what you want then! I don’t care!” Evan’s eyes flashed before he abruptly vanished.

Jeremy sat in stunned silence as Michael just continued checking things. “Well that was…”

“He’s just pouting. We’ve had this argument before, don’t worry.” Michael didn’t glance over at Jeremy as he talked. “So, Cassidy let you off with a warning or something I’m guessing?”

“I already said she dragged me in. She wants me to go in during the day and look out for a guy in a rabbit costume.”

“That could only be one person, you know,” Michael said grimly, sitting back to start giving Jeremy his attention. “My father only made one key for that suit.”

“Cassidy said that. She also seems a bit weary of taking information from Evan since he seems a little…”

“Mixed up?” Michael shrugged. “Yeah, don’t put too much stock in what he says. I don’t think he fully knows where he’s at.”

“That’s fair, I guess…” Jeremy wasn’t fully appreciative of that response. “So, you still think your dad killed those kids?”

“Without a doubt. He was always a bit more bitter when he had to deal with them, and if the other kids say it was the golden bunny man, then who am I to say they’re wrong? It makes sense.” Michael shook his head. “I still don’t understand what kind of monster could willingly decide that kids couldn’t get to live their lives though.”

“A kind that’s actually a monster as opposed to someone who thinks of himself as one?” Jeremy offered.

Michael turned his gaze on Jeremy lazily. “I know what you’re trying to do.”

“Is it working?”

“Not more than Evan’s assurances. Listen, I made my peace with what I did a long time ago.”

“It doesn’t seem like it.” Jeremy laid a reassuring hand on Michael’s arm. “You didn’t mean it. There’s no way you and your dad are even remotely in the same league-“

“Yeah, but a monster is a monster, aren’t they? Killers are monsters, Jeremy. Simple as that.” Michael slipped his hand away and went back to the cameras. “It’s not like it’s possible to always spot a monster on the surface anyway. Maybe you’re just telling yourself I can’t be a monster because I don’t look like one.”

Jeremy stiffened at that. You don’t have to look like a monster to be a monster. Did that mean the opposite was true too? He wanted desperately to know the answer.

Michael tried to give him a smile. “Look, it’s no big deal, really. If you aren’t actively saying I’m following in my father’s footsteps, then I think things are okay, you know? Like, I may not really like you, but I don’t think you’re a complete twat.”

“Uh, thanks?” Jeremy didn’t know how to respond to that, instead shining his light into the vent to avoid the heat that rose to his face at what he was guessing was meant to be a compliment.

“Anytime.” Michael chuckled softly. “Looks like he’s going for a full night sulk tonight. Guess it’s just us now.”

“Think you’ll be able to handle the office once I go on my next patrol?” Jeremy asked teasingly.

Michael snorted. “With the animatronics the way they are? I’ll be more than fine.”

“Good to know.”

A few nights passed like this, Michael offering minimal conversation during the shift, Jeremy taking his time to do patrols and update Cassidy on what he saw during the days.

It wasn’t much more than he had during the night, but Cassidy seemed to appreciate it nonetheless. And if he showed up to work tired, then that was fine too. Michael would shake his head, and Evan was still pouting about his argument with Cassidy, so he didn’t care.

Still, he felt a little bit bad whenever he realized he’d nodded off, insisting that Michael wake him. And evidently, that was not happening every time it happened. It hadn’t hurt anything so far though, so Jeremy was willing to let it slide.

It had taken him ages, quietly arguing with Evan while Jeremy slumped in his chair, to convince his brother to try and work things out with Cassidy. Evan had been furious that Cassidy was putting Jeremy in harm’s way, but Michael thought he probably knew the risks of what he was getting into.

Why should Cassidy get the blame anyway? She wanted help, not to doom another man to die. And Evan had given plenty of warning, so Jeremy could’ve backed out whenever he wanted to, so it was fine. There was simply no need to keep blaming Cassidy.

Michael spared a glance away from his constant checking to look at the uncomfortable way Jeremy had passed out in his chair, drool leaking from the corner of his mouth, hat knocked askew. On impulse, he reached over and fixed Jeremy’s hat, before deciding to move him to the floor.

Jeremy’s head knocked into Michael’s chest, and he felt sure that the man would wake. Jeremy hardly stirred, so Michael continued to lay him down, removing Jeremy’s jacket to tuck it beneath his head like a pillow. There, Michael thought to himself, somewhat satisfied before he went back to flick through the cameras absently.

Unfortunately for Mike, however, he’d missed the sound of an animatronic crawling into the vent, too focused on making sure he didn’t wake up Jeremy to pay much attention to the world around him.

The loud static did eventually catch Michael’s attention, and he set the monitor down, forgetting to wind the music box as he glanced at the phone. It was in its cradle, and belatedly Michael realized that noise meant animatronic, and he turned to check the vent just as Mangle swung down to attack.

Michael yowled in pain as the impact knocked him from his chair and plastic teeth tore through his face. The edge of the desk caught the other side of his face, making his vision blurry as he faintly caught the sound of tearing fabric and an angry growl.

Something warm ran down his face as the animatronic screeched, hiding away from the giant shadow looming over Michael. Struggling to push himself upright, he found himself surrounded by golden fur. Oh. Michael blinked blood out of his eye, struggling to process the scene around him, only slightly frightened now that he knew his rabbit friend had somehow appeared to aid him. I hope it doesn’t step on my coworker. That’d be awkward to explain.

“Mikey!” Evan’s voice echoed in the quiet environment. “Michael?”

The bunny was growling, a low rumble vibrating through its body. Cool hands cupped both sides of Michael’s face as Evan’s face came into view.

“Oh my god,” Evan breathed, smudging the blood stream ever so slightly. “Where did Jeremy go? I thought you knew what you were doing!”

“Glad you’ve got your priorities in order,” Michael answered slowly, still struggling to focus on his brother’s face. “Your hands are cold.”

“Of course they are.” Evan huffed in exasperation. “Wait, you’re totally in shock. Mikey…”

“The music box…” Michael trailed off as he registered that a completely quiet room was not a good thing.

Evan’s eye widened. “Oh no.”

The sound of aggressive music echoed in the halls as the Puppet made its approach. Not that it was much of a problem, seeing as Michael’s bunny pinned the animatronic to the ground before it could do much.

“Wait, don’t do that,” Evan said hurriedly. “Uh, I need to-“

“Yeah, no, go ahead.” Michael’s eyelids fluttered shut as Evan went away to shout at the bunny who was currently having a very intense stare down with the Puppet.

Jeremy hadn’t known he’d fallen asleep on shift that night. Waking up tangled in bindings made of shimmery thread had not been the most reassuring thing. More startling than that, however, was the pooling blood around Michael’s head as Evan argued with an unfamiliar girl.

Cautiously he untangled himself and dug into the duffel bag he started to bring to every shift, grateful for his planning as the remains of his uniform remained littered across the floor. The bickering children didn’t notice as he slipped his uniform on quickly before pressing his jacket (which for some reason was folded on the floor) to the wound on Michael’s head. Jeremy managed to pull the man close so he could hold the fabric to the wound while still being able to dial for the hospital.

Jeremy didn’t know how Michael had been injured, but based on the teeth marks, he had a sinking feeling Mangle had done something to the poor man. He did look a bit too similar to his father for Jeremy’s liking. That had to be the real reason Michael was so vigilant and why Evan was so paranoid about him missing things in the cameras.

The children stopped arguing to look at him when he was explaining things to the emergency operator, seeming to realize that maybe there were more urgent things to deal with than whatever they’d been arguing about. Jeremy clutched the plastic tightly in one hand as he clutched to Michael’s injury with the other.

Evan was the first to approach Jeremy, looking more disheveled than Jeremy even knew ghosts could be. “You’re the rabbit thing.”

Jeremy nodded awkwardly. He knew they’d discovered him the minute he’d woken up and was tangled in that same shimmery stuff that he’d seen under his skin before he transformed the first time.

“Our conversation isn’t over, Evan,” the girl said, impatiently. “Sure, Mike takes priority, but the fact that you guys tried to lock me away is absolutely insane.”

“How about we skip the interrogation until we know that Michael’s okay,” Jeremy said weakly.

“I guess that’s a good way to put things.” The girl crouched at Michael’s side, brushing bloodied hair out of his face. “Although you and me need a talk at some point, Mr. Fitzgerald.”

“I’m long overdue for talks with a bunch of people now,” Jeremy muttered.

Please be okay.

[stopisa]

brother’s best friend

cw: pussy eating <3

part 1 part 2

“shshshh” gojo hushes in response to your light moans as he kisses each thigh, gesturing your legs to hook over his shoulders. your little secret relationship had been going on for the last two months. sneaking in kisses in between the aisles at the library, holding hands under the table, and of course, scenarios like these in your dorm where he’s lapping his tongue like a meditative prayer between your legs. all in secret because god only knows what would happen if word got out that you two were a things. especially if it got to your brother’s ears.

running your fingers through his soft, snowy hair you let out airy, pathetic whines in pleasure, “f-fuck~” eyelids fluttering as you hope this feeling lasts forever…

the feeling is cut short by a knock at your door. startled, you jolt, pulling gojo up by his hair. “hello, y/n, you here?” fuck. shit. nononono. getou is standing outside, oblivious to the degenerate activities occurring behind the door. you and gojo stare wide-eyed at each other. another knock, “y/n?”

your instinct kicks in, “yea?! sorry just woke up from a nap.” you pretend to yawn, “what’s up?” gojo smirks at your blatant lie and proceeds to lower his head down to your heat again.

“um, did you forget we were supposed to get dinner with gojo? for some reason he’s not answering his phone so i’d thought get you first.”

before you could respond gojo starts sucking on that sweet spot again, “OH! i-it totally slipped m-my mind.” you shoot your head towards gojo, giving death glares into his crystal blue eyes. “you ok? you sound like you're out of breath?” your brother’s worry only agitates your anxiety but for some reason, the pleasure from gojo’s mouth is almost ethereal by the way it moves against your heat.

"i'm...i u-uh feel a bit under the weather." you state while faking a cough. "well you should've said something, i coulda brought medicine for you, if you open up i can-" you immediately cut him off with a "nope!" and at the same time you feel two of gojo's slender fingers slide into you. the silence behind the door is loud. you decide to break it, " 'just don't wanna get you sick too, it's p-pretty bad.."

getou sighs, "ok, guess i’ll check again and see if gojo is up for dinner still." you hear foots walk away from the door , and gojo believes it too as he continues eating you like a starved man. you hiss a whisper to him, "i'm so gonna kill you". he removes his mouth with a pop from you clit, "you sure you wanna do that before coming?" and already knowing the answer he dips down again.

a blaring ringtone comes from gojo's pocket and you immediately know it was the one he assigned to getou. getou booms from the other side of the door, never having left, "GOJO YOU SICK FUCK I KNOW YOURE IN THERE FUCKING MY SISTER!"

yea, you're gonna kill him.

[seungkwansphd]

cast me in a better light

pairing: musical actor!Joshua x pit orchestra member!YN word count: 5.9k synopsis: Joshua is a great singer and actor, you can admit that, but would it kill him to have some rhythm? The Christmas musical really will fail if you can't figure out how to read his cues, but he's wondering if you'll ever realize that he's sending you a different kind of signal, too. genre/themes: romance, fluff, grumpy/sunshine dynamic, allusions to a bad breakup, hallmarkian romance, lol.

a/n: this is part of the @svthub snowventeen collab! you should check out all of the other wonderful writers & stories! also these are the songs i drew inspo & lyrics from (don't sue me) griff - on foot in front of the other ariana grande - santa tell me (slow & reverb)

You balled your free hand into a fist as you turned back in your sheet music for what felt like the thirteenth time. It was your third rehearsal with the cast for this year’s Christmas musical and you were wondering if you could get away with strangling the lead, Joshua Hong, with your bare hands. You weren’t even working on anything difficult, but this man could not seem to sneak through a back alley with any sort of consistent rhythm pattern, so consequently you had nothing to follow. Your beats on the high toms kept missing his footsteps and everyone’s patience was wearing thin.

“Joshua, YN?” Janet cleared their throat, “Can you two spend some time together working on this? We need to either decide on a set tempo or work out some visual cues so that YN can follow your footsteps. We do need to move on for today though.”

“Of course!” Joshua smiled brightly at the orchestra conductor, “We’ll make time!” he gestured theatrically in a way that made you want to throw your drumsticks at him.

“Great,” Janet nodded at him before looking back down at the score, “Alright, let’s continue,” they lifted their baton, leading the pit through the second number.

“You still want to do dinner?” you asked Tetiana as she packed up her violin and bow.

“Yes! Although…,” she trailed off, pointing to something behind you.

Furrowing your brows, you turned slowly to see your one and only leading man, Joshua Hong. It was highly unusual to see cast members down in the pit.

“Hey YN! Thought I’d get your number so we can coordinate a few practices to nail down the walks,” he smiled at you.

“Ah sure,” you nodded. None of this would be necessary if he could just walk like a human person.

“Do you have regular days that work well? Or what do you think?”

“To be honest, my schedule is pretty irregular,” you answered honestly, thinking through the various jobs that you had lined up over the next couple of weeks. “I have a chunk of time free on Thursday between two and three pm?”

“That should work! I’ll text you to confirm,” he nodded, running through his own schedule in his head.

“Sounds good,” you raised your eyebrows at him, “Don’t get lost on the way out,” you couldn’t help but tease.

Joshua either didn’t hear you or didn’t respond as he walked backstage, but Tetiana laughed at your joke, which was enough to satisfy you.

“Ready to eat?” you asked her with a smile.

“Yes,” she laughed heartily. She wondered just how difficult of a time Joshua was in for during these one on one sessions.

❄❄❄

“Why can’t we just do a simple 2/4 or 4/4 pace when you walk from stage left to the alley?” you asked, slightly irritated already.

“Because it’s not what the character would do,” Joshua rebutted, as if what he was saying made any sense. “And depending on the show, the atmosphere may be different, so I want to leave it open for interpretation!”

“I-,” you cut yourself off, remembering your conductor’s words. “Okay, well then can we implement some sort of physical cue? Like a shoulder movement or something? I need to be able to follow you,” you suggested.

“Can you just watch how I move and see if there are any physical cues that I'm already doing?”

“Sure,” you sighed, gesturing for him to do his walk.

You watched him closely, eyes traveling from his shoulders to his fingertips and then back up to his torso, hoping to pick out some sort of movement that corresponded to his footsteps. You’d never seen Joshua at such a close distance before. From the pit, he was little more than the rough outline of a person, but up close you were forced to acknowledge how handsome he was. As you watched him move, you also realized that Joshua was much broader than you would’ve guessed. You were surprised when the thought hit you. Things were certainly easier when you watched him from a distance.

“Well?” he asked, turning his head to look at you after completing his exaggerated walk.

“Sorry, can you do it again?” you asked, shaking your head briefly to clear your thoughts.

“Yes,” he nodded, moving to start again.

You crossed your arms, tongue dragging across your teeth as you regarded him. Without even having to look, Joshua could feel your eyes rake up and down his figure as he walked and walked and walked. Your eyes burned into him intently and for someone who was a professional performer, he was surprised to find himself somehow nervous. Your tongue toyed with your left canine until you finally noticed that there was this little thing that he did with his chin just before he took a step. You might be able to work with that.

“Okay, I think I got something!” you clapped your hands together in relief, moving to the keyboard that was set up across the room from your drumset. “Okay, can we take it from here?” your fingers played out the closing melody that directly preceded his walk.

“Oh, yes?” Joshua did a double take. The way your fingers ran across the keys took him by surprise. “You play piano as well?”

“I’m a professional musician,” you wrinkled your nose up at him, “I can play several instruments.”

“Ah, of course,” he flushed.

You keyed out the melody again, leading him into his walk. He waited for you to cross the room to pick up your drumsticks before he started walking and you half-managed to follow his footsteps this time.

“That was better,” you shrugged, “We’ll need to keep working at it though,” you shrugged, eyeing the clock. You had to leave soon if you wanted to make it to band rehearsal on time.

“Oh right, you had to stop at three,” Joshua nodded, following your line of sight.

“Yeah,” you shrugged. The hour had passed quickly, most of it spent bickering, unfortunately. “When are you free next?”

“Saturday is pretty open as of now,” you suggested. “Would ten-thirty in the morning work?”

“Yes!”

“Would you mind actually meeting at my house? I have band practice right before and it would be nice not to have to drive here and set everything up.”

“Oh, sure I guess? What’s the address?”

“I’ll text you,” you smiled gratefully as you packed your drumsticks away, “Have a good day!”

❄❄❄

Joshua double checked the address before he got out of his car. He was halfway to the porch when the sound of music out back caught his ear. He was quite early and figured it wouldn’t do any harm to check it out. As he got closer to the source, the sounds of keyboard, drumset, and guitar became more individually discernible and these ensemble sounds worked together to complement the lead vocalist. Was this the band rehearsal that you had been referring to?

Joshua finally rounded the corner of the house to face a detached garage where the band was rehearsing. His eyes went to the drumset first, where he expected to see you. The large man seated behind the bass drum, however, was decidedly not you and so his eyes flitted around until they landed on the person standing behind the keyboard. You were playing and singing with such joy on your face and it made him stop in his tracks.

“I didn't think I'd get back up I didn't think I'd be alright again You know it's easy when you're young, bounce back and whatever You just bounce back like it never happened”

You sang with your eyes closed, fingers gliding across the keyboard with an ease that startled Joshua.

“I put one foot in front of the other today I stretched my arms out wide and it felt real strange And then my legs, they started shaking and my hands, they started quaking 'Cause things just take longer to heal these days”

The tenderness with which you sang the last lyrics triggered a small burst of warmth in his chest and when your eyes opened to meet his, his heart jumped fully into his throat.

“Oh, you’re here,” you blurted into the mic without thinking, surprising your band mates.

“Hi, yes,” Joshua cleared his throat, “Sorry I’m early!” he waved at everyone good naturedly.

“Who is this?” your bassist, Elena asked, eyes dancing curiously at you.

“Joshua, he’s the lead in that musical I’m working,” you shrugged, for some reason embarrassed that he had seen you singing.

“Oh nice!” your drummer stood up to introduce himself, “I’m Amir, and that’s Elena. It’s nice to meet you man!”

“Hey thanks! Nice to meet you too,” Joshua smiled back at the large man, “I didn’t know you sang,” he remarked at you.

“I mean…we barely know each other,” you couldn’t help but remark.

“I guess that’s true,” he chuckled good naturedly, “You guys sound great!”

“Thank you” Elena chirped excitedly, “You should follow us on social media!”

“Please,” Joshua nodded way too genuinely, pulling out his phone and looking over Elena’s shoulder as she showed him the band’s various handles.

You knew that didn’t make any sense. You should want everyone and their mother to check out your music, but there had always been an unspoken separation between the cast members and pit orchestra and so it felt very odd to be letting Joshua into your life in this way.

“Do you wanna take that again,” Amir asked you, bringing your thoughts back to the present, “Or did you feel good about that?”

“I felt really good about that, actually,” you nodded and you meant it.

“Me too!” Elena chirped in agreement.

“Cool, well we’re done a little early so if you two need to work on whatever you need to work on, we can make ourselves scarce. But…,” Amir turned his eyes to Joshua hopefully, “If you might wanna jam with us…Elena and I have been learning ‘My Shot’ from Hamilton!”

“Oh hell yes,” Joshua answered seamlessly.

“Right on!” Amir nodded excitedly, sitting back down behind his drum set as Elena wiggled excitedly.

You gestured towards the microphone stand as you got out of the way for Joshua. He pulled the mic out of the stand and your jaw dropped when he started…rapping?

“Hey yo, I'm just like my country I'm young, scrappy and hungry And I'm not throwin' away my shot”

Amir’s grin grew wider and wider as he picked up on Joshua’s flow. You watched, eyes widening with amazement, as he just continued and continued. You knew it was a silly stereotype, but you didn’t ever think you’d see him rapping and you were surprised at how decent he was at it. You could tell that he was out of his usual element, but he managed to still have a swagger and presence that was quite different from when you’d seen him during rehearsal. Elena’s delight grew unbridled as they ran through a good amount of the track before Joshua ran out of breath.

“Sorry!” he laughed apologetically, “I don’t typically rap,” he smiled genially.

“No, don’t apologize man, that was awesome!” Amir shook his head vehemently.

You grinned as you watched the three of them bond. Amir and Elena had always had such open and welcoming personalities, so it didn’t surprise you that they connected with Joshua immediately.

“Of all the things I never thought I’d see,” you remarked as you looked at him with a newfound appreciation.

“I mean we barely know each other, right?” he couldn’t help but throw your own words back at you. He must’ve been still reestablishing his blood oxygen equilibrium, because there was no other explanation for why he winked at you.

You blinked.

“Well, we ought to get out of your hair cause we’ve probably eaten into enough of your rehearsal time,” Amir spoke up after exchanging a glance with Elena. They both packed up quickly and made themselves scarce as you settled in behind the drumset, adjusting the stool way, way down.

“That was fun,” Joshua smiled at you as you warmed up.

“You were perfectly on beat there! So if you could just do that while you walk,” you teased, eyes creasing as you smiled at him. Joshua opened his mouth, but you cut him off, “I know, I know, that’s not what the character would do,” you shook your head playfully at him.

You were pleasantly surprised that the next hour passed quickly. It was probably because Amir and Elena had helped break the ice a little bit, but you felt a lot more comfortable with Joshua today. In turn, he also seemed more open to your input and you were able to work out a decent system for establishing a walking or transition pace. Eventually, you got bored and worked on a few other passages before your stomach interrupted with a loud rumble.

“Was that your stomach?” Joshua asked, surprise evident on his face.

“Yes,” you laughed sheepishly, “I should eat something. Do you want to take a break? I’ve probably got something we can snack on.”

“I wouldn’t mind a snack,” Joshua smiled at you in a way that was disarming.

“Okay, follow me then,” you turned away, nervous, allowing him to follow you,  “Don’t judge me, I know the place is a mess!” you disclaimed as you led him through the house. Joshua’s eyes widened with wonder as he inventoried the many, many instrument cases scattered around your house.

“How many instruments can you play?” he looked at you in wonder.

“I, uh,” you made a face as you counted in your head. “All of the strings and most of the percussion instruments.”

“What? That’s amazing!” Joshua gaped at you. He was truly impressed.

“Thanks,” you chuckled, a bit shy at his obvious admiration. Avoiding his gaze, you searched through your cupboard for something to eat.

“Can I try this?” Joshua gestured to the cello laying on the ground while you slid two frozen waffles into the toaster.

“Sure!” you called over your shoulder as you moved to the fridge. Waffles and cereal it was! You laughed to yourself as you heard some fiddling followed by a few noisy scrapes.

“This sounds horrible,” he remarked to himself as he continued to drag the bow across the strings determinedly. You couldn’t fight the smile that spread across your lips as you watched him out of the corner of your eye. You were surprised that you still found him endearing as he continued to make such grating sounds.

“You’ll have to adjust the pin,” you gestured to the bottom of the cello as you approached him, assessing the situation. “Here, hold this for me,” you lifted the instrument to the appropriate height and waited for Joshua to grab the instrument. You reached down between his legs and pulled the endpin out so that the cello sat at a better height.

“Okay, that looks better, now let’s address this grip,” you smiled, grabbing his hand and adjusting his fingers so they held the bow in a less awkward way. You didn’t notice, but Joshua’s Adam’s apple bobbed erratically when you moved to adjust his other hand on the neck of the cello. “You might actually be good at the cello,” you remarked, taking his left hand into your own. “You have these nice long fingers!”

Before he could respond, the waffles jumped in the toaster, pulling your attention away. It was just as well, because the best Joshua could’ve offered was a garbled cough with the way you had managed to fluster him. Blinking rapidly, he stood, placing the cello back on its side.

In the kitchen, you reprimanded yourself mentally as you placed the toasted waffles onto plates. Joshua did have nice hands, but you certainly didn’t need to be saying that out loud! Wordlessly, you brought everything to the kitchen table and gestured for him to sit.

“Hope you like Cap’n Crunch,” you laughed, “It’s the best I can do with no notice.

“I love Cap’n Crunch,” he smiled genuinely, “So do you teach as well?” he asked between mouthfuls. You nodded and worked through your own mouthful of cereal before answering him.

“Yes! I teach a handful of students, mostly string instruments.”

“Wow, that is really amazing,” Joshua beamed at you one more time before you ate in silence. The crunch of the cap’n filled the room and you were struck by the odd sense of intimacy that filled the moment. You wondered if it was one sided before you finished up and resumed practice

❄❄❄

Joshua couldn’t keep his eyes from wandering to you in the pit. You were laughing easily with some of the other musicians and he was surprised at the way he felt almost jealous? It made sense, of course, you knew them much better than you knew him. Prior to this show, you’d never even interacted, but after spending some time with you over the weekend, Joshua had had a lot of trouble keeping you out of his mind.

“Ready to get started?” Janet tapped their baton against their music stand.

Everyone directed their attention to the podium and flipped to one of the big dance numbers. It was quick and before long you were deeply immersed, trying to keep time with their steps.

“Very good, nice work!” Janet clapped happily, more than pleased. “Joshua and YN, great job nailing down the transitions as well! They’re looking much better.”

You smiled back, pleased as well. Joshua instinctively looked towards where he knew you were, even though it was too dark to see you anymore.

“Hey, YN!” you heard Joshua’s now familiar voice as you were on the way out of rehearsal.

“Hey, nice job today,” you smiled at him.

“Thanks to you,” he felt inordinately pleased to receive your compliment. “Hey if you’re not busy, do you want to grab some coffee?”

“I’m not, but why?” you asked.

“I-, do I have to have a reason?” he paused, furrowing his brow.

“I mean, I guess not but this is a little unusual. The cast members typically don’t acknowledge our existence,” you chuckled. You were probably being a little unfair, but this was also true.

“Well, you’re not exactly making it easy,” he pushed back, raising an eyebrow.

“…Fair point,” you had to admit. “You’re right. Let’s go get coffee.”

Joshua beamed.

“I like Almanac, but where do you like for coffee?”

“I like Almanac too!” Joshua’s eyebrows raised in surprise, “See we’re more similar than you give us credit for.”

“I already admitted I was being unfair,” you raised your brows at him, heading towards your favorite coffee shop.

“So how was the rest of your weekend?”

“It was pretty busy, but good! Yours?”

“It was also good,” Joshua smiled. You watched the way the corners of his lips curled up in a catlike fashion. “I had some free time after our practice, so I went to visit my mom.”

“Oh, nice! Does she live close? Far?”

“A couple of hours away, so it’s not too far. She’s getting a little older now, so I try to visit regularly and help around the house however I can.”

“That’s sweet of you,” you smiled. Joshua had always seemed like a gentleman and this was consistent with that.

“It’s the right thing to do,” he shrugged, opening the door to Almanac for you.

“YN!” the roaster, Sam, greeted you, “And Josh?” He did a double take when Joshua followed you inside. “Do you two know each other?”

“We do!” Joshua nodded, “You weren’t kidding when you said you like it here, huh?”

“I take my coffee very seriously,” you threw him a pointed yet playful look. “What’s interesting today?” you turned back to Sam.

“For you? I think you’ll like the Burundi best? Very juicy and complex,” he regarded you for a second. “And for you, Joshua? I think the Honduras? Nutty and more chocolatey notes.”

You and Joshua both nodded. When it came to coffee with Sam, you’d both learned that it was always best to go with dealer’s choice.

“Do we want these for here or to go?”

“I, uh…?” you looked at Joshua, this had been his idea to begin with.

“Here?” he suggested, hoping you didn’t feel obligated.

“Sure,” you shrugged.

“So how do you two know each other?” Sam asked as he bounced around behind the bar, grinding beans and prepping pour overs.

“We’re both in the Christmas show,” Joshua answered first, gesturing vaguely towards the theater where you’d just walked from.

“Well, he’s in it. I’m in the pit orchestra,” you felt the need to clarify.

“You’re in it! There’s no musical without the orchestra!” he insisted enthusiastically.

“I would agree with that,” Sam chuckled, intrigued at your dynamic.

“You know what I mean though!” you scrunched your face at Joshua, “If you say ‘I’m in a musical’ people think you mean the cast!”

Joshua blinked down at you. His lips curled up at the corners, amused at your fervor. Sam watched with a grin on his face as you and Joshua bickered playfully.

“Okay, here’s your coffee kids,” he finally interrupted, sliding two ceramic cups across the bar.

“Thanks Sam,” you beamed at him before turning to search out a table. It wasn’t terribly busy, so you were able to grab seats at the bar looking out the window. “So did you have something you needed to talk to me about?” you asked, shifting slightly to face him.

“No, I just wanted to spend some time with you,” he laughed, leaning back in his chair.

“What?”

“What?” he asked, a little confused that he kept having to explain why he wanted to be around you. You were incredibly talented and interesting, did you not see that?

“Sorry I’m not good at making new friends,” you chuckled wryly.

“You’re okay,” Joshua smiled. “I was actually hoping to ask you about your music making process. If you don’t mind.”

“Oh?” your eyes lit up. This was a topic that you could talk both of his ears off about, if he let you.

“Yes, I was wondering who writes your lyrics and whether you have a process for it. Like lyrics first and then music or vice versa?”

“That’s a good question that’s impossible to answer,” you grinned at him. “Amir and Elena and I tend to each write our own tracks, but we do ask each other for input. For me, I write the lyrics first and fill in the music around them. Elena is the opposite and Amir does both, depending on his mood. Do you write music?”

“I have tried in the past. But I’m primarily a vocalist, so I never really got to the part about filling in the music,” he chuckled sheepishly. “I can get by on guitar, but that’s about it.”

“It’s certainly not easy,” you laughed, “And then there’s the issue of baring your heart and soul to the people who do actually listen.”

Joshua enjoyed the way your eyes sparkled as you talked excitedly about your music making process. You didn’t seem to like to talk about yourself otherwise, so he hoped he could learn more about you through your music. Your next show was already marked down in his calendar and he couldn’t wait for the day to come.

“Sorry I’m talking your ear off!” you chuckled, bringing your mug to your lips.

“I like it,” his eyes creased as he smiled at you, resting his chin on his hand, eager to hear more.

You blinked. His statement was so straightforward and caught you off guard. You weren’t able to fight the heat that crawled up your neck, so you pretended it was a win that you hadn’t choked on your coffee entirely.

“Oh my gosh, I have to get going,” Joshua’s eyes widened when he noticed the time.

“Oh, okay!” you nodded. “Sorry, I told you I could talk forever about this!”

“Don’t be sorry. Time passes easily with you.”

“This was fun, thanks for suggesting it,” you stepped past his compliment and through the door purposefully. “Oh, it’s snowing!” you gasped, extending your palms upwards to catch a few flakes.

“Pretty,” he murmured, eyes watching you as snowflakes landed in your hair.

“It really is,” you turned towards him, fully beaming now. You loved being outside for the first snow each year. You and Joshua exchanged a laden glance before you couldn’t stand it anymore and excused yourself. It was cold out, but you almost couldn’t feel it.

❄❄❄

“Are you gonna sing tonight?” Elena asked you, eyes bright with curiosity. You tended to be fifty-fifty when it came to karaoke night. Sometimes you were in the mood and other times you weren’t. Tonight you were decidedly on the fence, so you planned to just go with the flow.

“Not sure yet, but I am here to support you,” you grinned, nose scrunching affectionately at her. “Is Amir coming?”

“Yeah, but he invited someone else so he’s waiting outside,” Elena nodded.

“Oh, okay!” you shrugged. It wasn’t unheard of for others to join you, but it wasn’t frequent either. You wandered to the bar to grab a beer while you waited.

“Yo!” you jumped slightly when Amir’s booming voice was accompanied by his hands clapping down on your shoulders.

“Jeebus,” you scrunched your face up at him.

“Two pilsners, please?” he signaled to the bartender before pulling you into a hug. “How’s things?” he asked as you headed back towards Elena.

“Pretty good! How are yo-oh?” you stopped mid-sentence when you saw Joshua sitting with her.

“Hey,” he smiled gently, waving at you.

“What are you doing here?”

“I invited him!” Amir stated as a matter of factly as he took the seat next to Elena at the picnic style table. You climbed over the bench on the other side, taking the spot next to Joshua.

“We’ve been chatting,” Joshua explained helpfully.

“Oh,” you nodded, though you were full of questions, “It’s good to see you.”

“You too,” he nodded, left knee nudging yours under the table.

Your heart flipped in your chest. You hadn’t seen Joshua since your post-rehearsal coffee, but he’d certainly been on your mind. If you squinted, in the right light, you would almost think that he was interested in you. But then again, you’d also thought things with your last partner had been going well just before they’d broken up with you too.

“What are you singing?” you asked, pulling yourself out of your thoughts.

“Well it has to be holiday themed, so that narrows down our choices,” Amir stroked his chin playfully.

“Have you decided?” Joshua turned to you, eyes curious.

“I’m not sure I’m going to sing yet,” you half-smiled at him.

“Oh come on! I’ll sing if you sing,” he offered.

“Why would I care if you sing or not?” you countered.

“Hm. You’re telling me you don’t want to watch me make a fool of myself singing Mariah Carey?” he teased, corners of his lips curling up playfully.

“Wait,” you blinked, “Wait, no I really do,” your eyes widened as you processed his words.

“You’d better pony up then,” he threw you a playful look as he brought his beer to his lips.

Elena watched Joshua with severe interest as he watched you wrack your brain for Christmas songs. He was so clearly interested in you, but she couldn’t tell whether your obliviousness was purposeful or not.

“What about ‘Santa Tell Me’?” she suggested, electing to help you out of your misery.

“Oh! I do like that song!” you smiled at Elena gratefully, “Will that do?” you turned to Joshua, an eyebrow raised expectantly at him.

You honestly expected him to say no and request a rendition of something much more embarrassing, so you were caught off guard when he cocked his head to the side and raked his eyes over you before nodding. Elena’s eyes widened before they flew to Amir to see whether he’d been paying attention to this exchange. As was typical, he seemed blissfully unaware as he drank his beer.

“Do we sign up? Or how does this work?” Joshua asked, craning his neck towards the MC.

“Yep, they have a sign-up sheet there!” Amir nodded.

“Shall we?” Joshua turned to you, extending his hand towards you.

“We?” you couldn’t help the question that escaped your lips.

“I don’t trust you not to chicken out. I would like to watch you put pen to paper,” he grinned mischievously at you.

“Me? Chicken?” you gasped, offended. “I would never!”

“Then let’s go,” Joshua chuckled cooly.

“Fine,” you scoffed, placing your hand in his and following him to the MC’s station.

“Amir!” Elena squealed as she watched you leave. “I think something’s going on?”

“Oh yeah, Joshua likes YN,” Amir shrugged, nodding as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“Wait, what?”

“He told me. Why do you think I invited him?”

Elena’s mouth hung wide open at this revelation. Of all the things she never thought she’d see, Amir meddling was pretty damn near top of the list.

“Am I going first or are you?” you asked Joshua as you held the pen above the sign-up sheet.

“I’ll go first,” he shrugged good naturedly, “It was my idea after all.”

“Okay,” you nodded, scribbling his name and then your own just below it, “No backing out now.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he winked at you. He couldn’t seem to help himself from teasing you tonight.

You watched, fascinated, as Joshua chatted with Elena and Amir. You’d have thought they’d known each other for years, but when you sat down to do the math, you were surprised to realize that it had really only been a few weeks since they’d met. It was a pleasant surprise, but a surprise nonetheless. Pulling yourself out of your thoughts again, you met Elena’s gaze, which was loaded to say the least. When she realized you were no longer spacing out, her eyebrows raised as her head jerked subtly, yet meaningfully, towards Joshua. You knew what she was saying and you maybe even agreed. You just needed to have another mental breakdown or two before you decided what you wanted to do about it.

“Oh, I’m next!” Joshua announced as he watched names on the screen flicker by.

“Break a leg,” you beamed at him. He faltered for a moment at the genuine openness of your smile.

You watched with a mixture of excitement and secondhand embarrassment as Joshua started his rendition of Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’. It was stupid, but you were surprised at how good he was. He didn’t take himself too seriously, hammed it up when it was appropriate, and by the end of it you were smiling widely and singing along. In fact, you were enjoying yourself so much that you practically forgot you were meant to sing after him and rushed on stage at the last minute. Joshua handed you the mic with a playful chuckle, fingers brushing for just a moment.

“Santa, tell me if you're really there Don't make me fall in love again if he won't be here next year Santa, tell me if he really cares 'Cause I can't give it all away if he won't be here next year”

Joshua smiled as he watched you sing. He wasn’t surprised that this song resonated with you. While perusing your music, it had become apparent to him that you’d gone through a big breakup sometime in the last year. He could certainly understand the reluctance to get involved with someone new, but he also hoped that he could prove himself to be a steadfast friend and potential partner.

You smiled impossibly wide as you grooved to the background music; you really did love this song! Inevitably your eyes moved back to your table and you paused when Joshua caught your eye. His eyes had creased into semi-circles and his lips had curled up just slightly at the corners as he watched you. Your brain stuttered and for whatever reason, the next lyrics that left your lips were from the explicit version instead.

“Oh, I wanna let him unwrap me, like oh-woo-oh Get on top of him, by that fireplace, oh-woo-oh But I don't want a new broken heart This year I've got to be smart”

Joshua’s eyes widened in surprise as the crowd erupted in whoops and cheers. The way you’d held his gaze while singing had left his heart pounding wildly in his chest.

“Eee, you did so good!” Elena squealed excitedly when you returned to the table. It took every fiber of her being not to scream over your sudden improv. “I love that slowed version too.”

“Really good,” Joshua half-smiled, thinking furiously about when and whether to make a move.

“Thanks,” you giggled shyly, grateful for the residual adrenaline of performing. “When are you two up? I kinda want to go out and get some air, but I don’t want to miss you guys!”

“We’re not for a while, go for it! Bring us some beers back too,” Amir waved you away playfully.

“Okay, I’ll be back soon!” you waved briefly before heading out the door to the patio.

The gears continued to turn in Joshua’s head until Amir and Elena simply couldn’t take it anymore.

“Dude, what are you doing?” they demanded in unison.

“What?” Joshua looked up, slightly startled.

“Go get ‘em! Now’s your chance!”

“Now?!” He looked panicked.

“They wanna let you unwrap them, like oh-woo-oh,” Elena sang playfully at him.

“Get on top of you, by that fireplace, oh-woo-oh!” Amir harmonized before breaking out into a fit of giggles.

Joshua stood up. They were right, this was the opening. He headed towards the door he had seen you exit through and found you standing outside alone.

“Gah, I don’t know how you do it!” you started chattering when you saw him, “I still get such nerves about performing in front of crowds like that!”

“It doesn’t really ever go away,” he smiled reassuringly, stepping towards you. “Cold?” he asked, watching you blow warm air on your hands.

“I was hoping the fresh air would help me calm down a bit, but now I’m just cold,” you laughed sheepishly.

Joshua chuckled, folding his long fingers over your hands and pulling you towards him. You swallowed audibly as you looked at him, heart pounding even faster now.

“You are a captivating performer and a talented musician. The nerves never really go away, you’ll just get better at managing them,” he gazed deep into your eyes. “You made me feel a lot of feelings up there.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I’m not sure I’ve heard that version before,” he teased, grinning at you.

“I didn’t-, I don’t,” you floundered, but you didn’t really have much of an explanation. You had simply been flirting with him and he was flirting back.

“Can we go out on a date?” he asked, “If things go according to plan, we’ll be here next year too.”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes as you realized he was quoting your karaoke lyrics back to you. It was so corny and yet…it was working. You pushed up on the balls of your feet, leveraging his grip on your hands to pull him into a kiss. You could feel him smile against your lips and when you pulled away, you could see that a single snowflake had landed on his nose. What in the Hallmark movie?

❄❄❄

Thanks so much for reading! Would love to hear what you think and please also check out the other 'snowventeen' fics!

[bugstinytalks]

So I’ve been getting into journey to the west (Jttw) since I really enjoy the Lego Monkie kid series, and I noticed two things about the character the six eared macaque.

1 - some people said him and Sun Wukong were brothers. As far as I can tell there not at least not in Jttw, and in Monkie kid there sworn brothers.

2 - Macaque is not in the original Jttw as frequently as I expected, in fact he was there for only a brief time before getting killed. But there is a possibility he is the Macaque King (one of the seven fraternal sages) an ally Sun Wukong made early in the story.

In Lego Monkie kid Im pretty sure the seven fraternal sages are are Wukongs sworn brothers, since Demon bull king (DBK) is one of the seven fraternal brothers. I was wondering why in jttw it didn’t connect the macaque king and the six eared macaque and there are two options. 1 there different characters or 2 that it’s an inconsistency, the second options fairly likely since there are quite a few instances in jttw where if you think to hard the story doesn’t make sense.

Anyway Jttw is a fun read and if your looking for an easier way to absorb some of jttw, I’d suggest checking out an overly Saracastic production’s videos on YouTube.

[scoobydoodean]

i think it’s kinda funny how you don’t have some sort of online handle except your urls, so i can only ever address you as like dftsam. anyway i saw a take that said cas “learned” to feel unloved from dean, from the way dean treated him basically - an example they gave was dean looking away when cas said I love you as he was dying in s12 - and it seemed there were a lot of people agreeing with it. i’m not one of them, but if you were interested (only if you’d wanna talk about it, I’d get it if you didn’t) I’d love to get you thoughts on this idea?

So I read this at like 1-2 AM lying in bed and I was like this:

I find it so fucking funny when people start in on this shit, because Dean girls and Cas girls can do this to each other all day long. “Dean made Cas feel unloved” “Cas made Dean feel unloved”. You can build a framework for either (BOTH) by cherrypicking scenes to suit a narrative. Like. I can easily say that Cas repeatedly sent a message, regardless of his intentions, that Dean’s feelings don’t mean jack shit to him. I prefer to take things with humor and just understand where Cas’s issues are coming from (just like Dean—who makes his best effort to understand Cas; just like Cas makes his best effort to understand Dean) rather than get mad and demonize him so I can be angsty about Dean always feeling "unloved"… but the guy… look—making no effort to explain why he is like this at this moment (because Cas apologism is absolutely not the point of this ask) Cas is known to do the following:

Control the means of communication. You will pretty much never see Dean ghost Cas. Even when Dean was forced to kick him out, he checked up on him to make sure he was okay. But Cas will knowingly and intentionally ghost Dean’s prayers and calls for days and weeks at a time on repeat through their ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP. Dean has expressed that this upsets him more than once, but Cas continues to do it. Every once in a while he’ll throw in a half-assed apology sure—but it doesn’t mean anything. He’s going to do the thing he’s apologizing for again as soon as he’s decided he doesn’t want to face Dean’s questions or doesn’t want him involved yet again. Which means 1) he isn't actually sorry 2) how it makes Dean feel is not important to him or else he'd stop doing it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Keep secrets about bad things going on CONSTANTLY. Over and over and over and over… then Dean is still the one who ends up apologizing for getting mad about it. Rinse, repeat.

(Often) Refuse to be a team player in an effort to keep Sam and Dean out of harms way over the things he has personally decided are too dangerous for them, without ever letting them have a say, because he has unilaterally decided they are too tiny and soft and he needs to fall on a sword when no one asked him to and no one WANTS HIM TO. A lot of people want to turn this into bemoaning Castiel's constant unappreciated sacrifices, but this is so unbelievably shortsighted of a take. He is attempting to relate to Dean, a person who believes he is poison and that loving him gets people killed, by attempting to fucking martyr himself over and over and OVER. Dean doesn't WANT it, and it isn't NECESSARY 99% of the time if Cas would just WORK AS A TEAM.

Urges Dean to co-parent children who he feels he has personal obligations to twice.

Who does that remind you of? Because I know who it reminds me of, but people don’t want to read that meta—or about how Cas traded out his car for a truck (who else did that?), or about how your last words before a sacrifice can haunt a person and rip them open in ways you never intended. Of course Cas isn’t that guy… but I bet my ass Dean sure as hell sees the shades of him.. I do think it is an intentional decision to frame Cas in the late seasons after another person who also made Dean feel very unloved and unwanted—not in the big things like big grand sacrifices—but in the small things—the day to day things that slowly strangle a relationship to death—like making unilateral decisions for everyone and not answering the goddamn phone. (Edit here: I do NOT mean that Cas is intentionally being framed as CRUEL and EVIL. I mean that he is intentionally being paralleled with this person. Dean and Sam are also paralleled with that person in different ways at various points and it doesn't mean any of them are evil irredeemable villains. They just have some obvious hangups and the way this particular one for Cas ends up manifesting is probably pretty difficult for Dean and probably makes him think of how that other person behaved and how it made him feel).

Dean didn’t react right when Cas said I love you in season 12? Well. That’s debatable. But going on the offensive first before the defensive: Cas only wants to say this on his deathbed when Dean has no chance to respond.

Dean, on the other hand, has expressed his care for Cas MULTIPLE TIMES. He didn't say the words, "I love you" (he doesn't even say that to SAM) but he said "We're family" "You're the closest thing I have to family—you're like a brother to me" and "I need you" and "I'm not leaving without you" and "Being with you today is the most I've laughed in years" and "I'd rather have you, cursed or not" and "It's a gift. You keep those. Let's work as a team. We're better together."

And what does Cas do after every single one of these expressions of Dean's love?

He L E A V E S!!!!

He fucking leaves, and Cas girls want to talk about Dean making a face? And cry that Dean makes Cas feel unloved? Forgive me if that makes me fucking CACKLE at the AUDACITY.

I think one thing people tend to do, is they frame everything as if Cas is oblivious to Dean loving him, but Dean has to know or SHOULD know how Cas feels about him. This is why we get rancid takes like "DeAn nEedS tO pUll hIS hEaD oUt of HiS asS". Oh shut up. Castiel canonically can SENSE DEAN'S LONGING. If Dean's head is up his ass, Castiel's is shoved so fucking far up his sphincter it's coming out of his mouth.

Yet still—Dean recognizes, in season 11, that Cas is struggling—that Cas feels down on himself and unloved (and I DO NOT think Cas BLAMES Dean for that at all—it takes a lot of willful ignorance about everything going on with his biological family to come to that conclusion) and Dean tries to FIX IT. He once again reiterates to Cas how much he cares about him—that he's family. He has NO IDEA that the words intended to make Cas feel better are going to send him down one of the most deranged spirals of unhinged decision-making ever (the Kelly shenanigans are WILD). I actually have a slightly different take on this, from the typical " it sent him off the deep end because he got 'brother-zoned'". I think it sent him off the deep end because it was the final *nail in the coffin in what Cas saw as a reversal of their relationship—where he isn't the guy who protects everyone anymore with his grace and his grand wings... that's Dean now, and Dean is saying that Cas, like Sam, is under his protection... and Castiel absolutely could not STAND that. He didn't need his romantic affections to be returned. What he wanted, more than anything—what he saw (in a rough draft of the script) when Jack showed him paradise, was Dean thanking him, and his powers returned to their former glory. Because Cas has unilaterally decided Dean's feelings, he chooses to love him like a saint loves Jesus, laying down his life, instead of being in a partnership, because he doesn't want to be someone Dean protects—not even in a partnership where they protect each other. He wants to be the sole protector.

All of that to say: Cas didn't learn how to feel unloved from Dean. TEXTUALLY. It is ON THE TIN. Saying that is literally the EXACT OPPOSITE of what Cas SAYS about Dean. He says he cared about the whole world because of DEAN. He cared because Dean's love was so captivatingly beautiful and inspiring and transcendent that it changed who Cas was inside to the core, and he fell fucking head over heels. "You changed me".

[sergeantsporks]

Gilded Family

Rating: Teen and Up, Gen

Ch 29/?: Infection

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6 , Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11, Ch 12, Ch 13, Ch 14, Ch 15, Ch 16, Ch 17,  Ch 18, Ch 19, Ch 20, Ch 21, Ch 22, Ch 23, Ch 24, Ch 25, Ch 26, Ch 27, Ch 28

In which none of the previous golden guards or wittebro died, actually, they're all fine and living happily together as one big dysfunctional family

Ao3

“Sa-am,” Evelyn sang, sweeping into the lab. Phoenix followed in her wake, ducking behind her to stay out of Petro’s glare radius.

Sam set down a rat with a glyph attached to it that scampered away immediately. “Hello, Mother Dearest. What is it that you need?”

“I didn’t say that I needed something.”

“You get musical when you’re going to ask me for something. What is it?”

“Mm. Yes.” Evelyn nodded a couple of times. “Now that you mention it. I could use a transportation glyph, please and thank you. Also perhaps you could come with us so that we can get back, and because my magic is a wee bit depleted from the barrier?”

“Ah. Just give me a—” Sam reached down, patted the table where the rat had been, and cursed. “Never mind. Give me a now. May I ask where it is that we’re headed?”

Evelyn glanced at Petro. “Not in front of him.”

“Who am I going to tell, Mummy Beloved?” Petro sighed, tilting his chair back on its legs, “I am to be left alone, without a single soul to talk t—” His chair tilted back too far and he crashed backwards. “Hm.”

“Good,” Evelyn said sharply, “It’ll give you time alone to think about what you’ve done.”

She stalked back out, Sam scurrying behind her. Phoenix turned to go, but Petro cleared his throat. “Little bird, I’ve got a favor to ask. I know you don’t trust me, and you have no reason to, but this is very important to me, so please at least consider my request.”

Despite every warning bell ringing in his head, Phoenix stayed. “What?”

Petro’s face split into a grin. “Bring me back a souvenir?”

Phoenix sighed, and he picked up Petro’s chair, setting him upright and checking to make sure his bonds hadn’t been loosened in the fall. “You know, when I was in your memories, I heard someone singing a lullaby. I don’t know who they were, but do you think they’d be proud of who you are now?”

Petro’s eyebrows went down in an angry v, and all the spiteful humor on his face gave way to rage. He lunged forward against his bonds, snapping his teeth at Phoenix, who jumped backwards to dodge the attack.

“That’s none of your business,” he snarled, “You don’t know what you’re talking about, so just shut up!”

Phoenix backed out of the room, shutting the door on a growling, slavering Petro. He thought he’d seen the worst of Petro, but the hot hate in Petro’s eyes had been far deeper than before, even worse than when Petro had tried to kill him. Whoever could make Petro snap like that would have to wait, though. Evelyn and Sam were already outside, drawing in the dirt.

Before Phoenix could reach the door, Mole slid in front, crossing his arms. He held out a leaf to Phoenix, stained with green mud he must have found on the garden fence.

Phoenix hissed in. “It’s—I’m going to tell them Mole, I just…”

Mole shook his head, taking Phoenix’s arm and tugging him back further into the house.

Phoenix gingerly extracted himself from Mole’s grip. “I can’t. I can’t make them stop to deal with this, not when we’re so close. It’ll take too much time.”

Mole sighed, chewing on his lip and looking at the door, and Evelyn, and then back to Phoenix.

Phoenix crouched slightly so that he was on Mole’s eye level. “I’ll tell them when we get back. I’ll play it safe. No unnecessary risks. I promise.”

Mole threw his hands up in the air and stormed away, shutting his room door harder than necessary, but not hard enough for it to slam. Phoenix sighed.

I guess I’d be pretty mad at him if he was sick and wouldn’t tell anyone.

At least he could be sure that Mole wouldn’t tell anyone.

Phoenix joined the others outside just as Evelyn snatched the arm of a passing adult. “Marcus. I’m going out. You’re in charge of the barrier while I’m gone. It should just be a few hours, then I’ll take over again. If you think your magic is starting to fade, ask Aurelia to use hers.”

Marcus nodded, and the glow around the fence took on a different hue; still blue, but a more greenish blue than Evelyn’s magic.

Sam finished his glyph and dusted his hands off. “All set! Where is it we’re off to?”

“The head.”

Sam coughed. “The head. You mean where the Collector is? You mean that place that’s crawling with their spies? That place Phoenix barely got out of alive? That head?”

“That’s the one. I know it’s not exactly a vacation, but that’s where the last Grimwalker is, so that’s where we need to go.”

“Oh boy. Does Dad know?”

Evelyn glowered. “I don’t need your father’s permission.”

Sam held his hands up in surrender. “I didn’t say you did! It just seems like. Maybe. Perhaps. Going on a very dangerous rescue mission to a very dangerous place. Might be the sort of thing we discuss with the whole family? Instead of rushing off half-baked? At the very least, we should have Auric on standby?”

Evelyn paced back and forth. “We don’t have time for a lengthy family debate over the risks! Every second they spend up there is another second that the Collector might find them, or worse, kill them without realizing!”

“Okay, okay!” Sam hissed in. “Sorry, one last thing… no offense, Phoenix, but are you sure you’re up for this?”

Phoenix shoved his hands back in his pockets. “I’ll be fine. The situation’s not ideal, but it’s never going to be.”

“Sam,” Evelyn pleaded, “I’d do this on my own, but my magic is shot. Phoenix is the one who figured out where they are, so we need him there to guide us. We need to get in and out quickly, and only you can help us do that. Are you going to take us there?”

Sam’s mouth set in a firm line. “Well. I’ve already got the glyph drawn. Why not? All aboard that are coming aboard.”

Sam and Evelyn stepped into the circle, and Sam tapped the glyph. Golden light rushed around Phoenix, and when it faded, he faced a familiar archway, glowing eerily in the light cast by the Archive House hovering thousands of feet over them.

Phoenix’s heart pounded in his chest, and he gingerly touched the shattered remains of the portal door.

Are you there, Jason?

Are you still safe?

Evelyn opened her bag, passing out concealment stones. Phoenix saw potion bottles hidden deep in her bag, clinking gently together with her movement, but she quickly buckled the bag back up, hiding them from sight. Phoenix slipped the concealment stone over his head, and the magic drew lines around his joints. His clothes popped in the darkness, now more colorful and flowy, like a puppet’s.

“Where next, Phoenix?”

Phoenix peered out of the decimated lab, and immediately stepped back, head spinning. Outside, the ground gave way to a straight drop into unending darkness, the bridge long gone. “Down there.”

“Eugh.” Sam pulled out a notepad, drawing three new glyphs. “Feather-fall,” he explained, handing them out, “I don’t think taking the stairs is an option anymore.”

Evelyn immediately jumped over the edge of the precipice. Sam grabbed Phoenix’s arm. “Hey.”

“Hey?”

Sam nodded towards the edge. “Mom’s… not in the most logical headspace right now. Make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. Once we find wherever he kept us stored, I’m going to hang back and start the return glyph.” Sam glanced up at the sky. “Being this close to the archive house gives me the creeps. I want to get out of here as soon as possible.”

Phoenix shuffled closer to the edge of the drop, but didn’t jump. “You’re not hanging back to try and catch a puppet, are you?”

“Well, I wasn’t, but I’m thinking about it now.” Sam gave him a little push. “Just help me keep her safe. Go!”

Phoenix took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and jumped before he could think too hard about it. He clutched the feather-fall glyph close to his chest, opening his eyes and activating it just before hitting the ground. He staggered forward, and Evelyn gripped his forearms to keep him steady.

“Easy, Phoenix. You’re alright.”

Sam tapped down gently next to them, landing as gracefully as a fairy. He held a small light glyph in one hand, gently illuminating the skull around them. “Oog. I did not miss this place.” His voice echoed in the cavern, and he kicked at something glimmering on the ground. “He never cleaned up down here, did he?”

Phoenix recognized the object Sam had kicked, and his stomach churned. Golden masks littered the ground, some accompanied by bloodstained scraps of white fabric, others by a spaulder or a torn-up breastplate.

Evelyn’s hold on Phoenix tightened. “We were this close the whole time?!”

“What is this place?” Phoenix asked. He could guess, and something pressed at the corners of his mind, a sense of familiarity, but the others seemed much more familiar with it.

“Uncle Pip’s dumping ground,” Sam grumbled “He dropped a lot of us down here once he was done with us.”

“It was always the first place Caleb and I checked,” Evelyn whispered, picking up the mask Sam had kicked. “We’d try to catch you before you hit the bottom—like poor Alex did. Not everyone ended up here, but…” She turned the mask over in her hands. “This is where we found you, Phoenix.”

Memories of both being dragged across the bridge and dragging bodies himself warred for dominance in Phoenix’s mind—not that he’d ever thought about or remembered this place before today. The memory of Belos pushing his lifeless body over the edge was faint, barely more than a feeling of déjà vu overshadowed by the pain of his injuries, but watching himself fall, while clearer… didn’t even feel important or worth thinking about.

Which was almost worse.

Evelyn shook her head, tucking the mask into her bag. “If where he made you is really just a few feet away… that’s just twisted.”

“Not to mention ridiculous,” Sam added, “What did he think happened to the bodies when he came down here to get a new kid? Did he think Grimwalker bodies just disintegrate? Okay, wait, actually, if Dad rescued all of us, then he never had a corpse for long. He probably did think that. Fascinating, he had a completely warped understanding of decomposition because of us. I would love to pick apart his brain if he were still alive.”

“Yes, incredibly interesting,” Evelyn agreed impatiently, “Phoenix?”

Phoenix took a deep breath. Okay. Which way?

He started to walk, letting his feet pick the direction without any thought. He passed a few more masks, gleaming dully in the dim light from Sam’s light glyph. Finally, a cave yawned out at them from the darkness, and Phoenix stopped.

“There,” he whispered.

Evelyn’s hand found his in the darkness. “Let’s bring them home,” she whispered.

Sam drew more light glyphs, wafting them into the room. Phoenix stared at three vats filled to the brim with dirt, the fingers on his free hand twitching and clawing as if he were buried and needed to dig his way out. Tubes fed into the dirt, and Phoenix knew in the back of his head that they should be filled with glowing green liquid. But the whole room felt… lopsided, somehow, and whatever the tubes had been hooked to before, they now lay disconnected on the ground.

A small hand stuck out of one stone vat, and Phoenix pointed with a squeak. Evelyn pulled him to it, but neither of them made any move to dig it up.

“Are they still alive?” Phoenix gingerly reached out—the hand wouldn’t even be the length of his pinkie finger when stretched out.

The moment his finger brushed the tiny fingers, they twitched and tightened, curling around his index finger. Evelyn gasped and immediately started to dig, shoveling away great handfuls of dirt. Phoenix joined her, his free hand digging around the grimwalker’s arm with practiced movements, as if he’d been doing this his whole life, even though some part of him said that he’d only ever watched, and another part of him whispered that he’d only ever dug from the opposite side.

A small face started to appear in the soil, chubby with baby fat and smeared with dirt. Evelyn seized a heavy white cloak hanging on a peg, wrapping the little grimwalker up. They weren’t quite an infant—if Phoenix had to guess, they were a year or two old.

Evelyn gently brushed dirt off of the sleeping grimwalker’s face. “Hey, little guy,” she said softly, “I know a bunch of people who are going to be so happy to meet you. And we’re going to take good care of you.” She gently kissed the top of the grimwalker’s head, then handed them to Phoenix. “Here—can you hold them for a moment? Mind their head, I think they’re big enough that it shouldn’t be too floppy but it’s been… a while.”

“Ack—” Phoenix held the baby like it might explode, cradling their head in one hand. “Um—Evelyn, I don’t know if I should—I’ve never held a—what if I drop—”

“You’ll be fine,” she said briskly, “You won’t hurt them.” She reached into her bag, pulling out potion bottles and holding them between her fingers. “Go wait outside with Sam.”

“Why? What are those? What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to burn this miserable hole down to the ground so that no one can ever use it again,” Evelyn growled, “Go.”

Her magic gently pushed Phoenix out of the cave, and she threw the first potion, destroying one of the stone vats with an almighty boom and a crack of splitting stone.

“Yep,” Sam said in a resigned voice, “That’s what I was afraid of. Well! As long as she’s being safe about it! We’re far enough down that the Collector won’t notice. I think.”

The grimwalker in Phoenix’s arms squirmed, reaching up towards his face and batting at his nose. “Mrgh?” they gurgled.

“Ohhhhhhhhh boy—” Phoenix bounced the baby up and down the way he’d seen caretakers at the orphanage do. “Okay, go back to sleep, go back to—”

Another boom, and this time, the machine in the corner exploded, sending shards outwards. Phoenix’s arms started to ache, and although the flickering of the explosions made every rock and shadow seem strange and eerie, he could clearly see that the blackish green veins had reached his fingertips and were starting to web outwards, turning his nails black.

Crack

Phoenix shook his head back and forth as if that would dislodge the feeling of something slithering under his skin, making his arms itch and crawl and… bubble.

“Phoenix?” Sam asked, “Are you okay?”

“She needs to stop,” Phoenix whispered, “She needs to stop destroying it, she needs to—” He deposited the grimwalker baby in Sam’s arms before he could drop them, his arms trembling uncontrollably. The baby frowned, reaching towards Phoenix with little grabby hands.

“It took so long, she can’t…” Phoenix pressed his arms against his stomach, doubling over. “Stop it. Stop it, stop it—”

“Mooooooooooooom? We need to leave!” Sam yelled somewhere in the distance, “Something’s wrong with Phoenix—”

“Just a little bit more,” Evelyn called back, “I’m almost done—”

“Stop,” Phoenix rasped. His arms didn’t just itch anymore, they burned, shifting and tearing and breaking and reforming over and over and over.

“Mom!” Sam yelped, “Forget the cave! You’ve done enough! We need to go now!

Golden light rushed around Phoenix, and something inside of him whispered to take it, to consume it, to dig his claws (what claws, he’d never had claws) into the light and seize it for his own.

The light faded on its own, turning to red trees, and Phoenix’s legs wobbled.

Evelyn reached out to catch his arms, but yanked her hands away at the last second, her mouth dropping open in horror. Phoenix fell to his knees, too sluggish to break his fall with his hands, and crashed forward on his forearms. His arms showed no sign of flesh or skin, just oozing, pulsing mud that shifted and swirled, revealing white bone and covering it up just as quickly.

“What—is—happening—” Phoenix groaned.

Evelyn grabbed Sam’s collar, hauling him and the baby grimwalker backwards away from Phoenix and shoving him towards the house. “Get your father. Now.”

Sam scrambled away, calling for help. Evelyn approached Phoenix slowly, holding her hands up.  “Hey—stick with me. When did it start getting worse?”

Phoenix touched his forehead to the ground as the mud ate at his upper arm, slinking towards his shoulders. “Hnnnngh—”

“Okay, okay, let me just—” Her hand touched his shoulder lightly, then flicked down to the mud. She immediately drew back with a yelp, shaking her hand, and eyed his arms with a mixture of horror, worry, and… disgust. “It’s like…”

“Belos,” Phoenix grated out. He pushed up to his feet, blinking back stars from his vision. “It’s like Belos, it’s—”

His curse

The attacks

Is that going to happen to me?!

“Phoenix—” Evelyn started, but Phoenix was already backing away from her.

“Stay back—I don’t want to hurt you.”

She faltered, her face heartbroken. But she didn’t chase him when he ran, stumbling through the forest. He had to get as far away from the house as he could before this lashed out—it had already hurt Evelyn, he couldn’t let it attack anyone else.

Phoenix’s arm brushed against a tree, and a jolt of pain rushed up his spine as a low branch pushed right through the mud, touching bone. He stumbled to the side with a howl, clutching his arms close to his chest.

A solitary raindrop dripped from the sky, tracing down his cheek.

Rain had never bothered Phoenix before. It had never scalded him the way it did normal witches. But now the boiling water hissed into his arms, dragging tracks in his arms and dripping muddy water from his fingertips.

And it burned.

Phoenix ran, this time looking for shelter from the rain, any shelter. He tripped, skidding down a sharp bank, and finally crawled under a fallen tree that created a small hollow. He curled into a ball, pressing his arms tightly against himself to keep them from exploding outwards. The mud had stopped trying to crawl further up his arms, leaving burns behind. It didn’t… settle, exactly. It just swirled more sluggishly, crawling and migrating around his lower arms.

Phoenix scooted further back into his hollow to stay away from the rain. At least Caleb and Evelyn couldn’t come looking for him in this weather—and he doubted they’d ask a grimwalker to find him when he looked like their worst nightmare.

“What am I supposed to do?” he whispered out loud. Every memory he had of Belos lashing out (and a few that he didn’t remember himself) with his curse played through his mind. He’d always consumed a palisman’s magic right after, but the thought made Phoenix sick to his stomach. He couldn’t do that. Not knowing how Hunter felt about his palisman, not knowing what loyal creatures they were.

What had he been expecting with this infection? That it would just make his arms ache? That his wounds would just keep spitting out cursed mud forever? That he could see some of Belos’ memories when it was convenient and not face any other consequences? Of course there was a price. There was always a price, always some exchange for any information or benefit when it came to Belos.

The rain slowed, but didn’t stop, still trickling down and making the air into a steamy fog. Phoenix’s stomach rumbled. Right. He hadn’t actually stopped to have breakfast this morning, and it was probably well past noon by now.

Had Belos ever eaten anything? Could he? Would Phoenix be able to stomach food now? Or would he be forced to eat a palisman or starve at some point?

A branch snapped, and Phoenix’s head snapped up, his ears twitching to locate the sound. He didn’t call out—anything that could be out in a rainstorm was bound to be a predator looking for its next meal.

Maybe it would be better for something to just eat me now before this gets worse and I hurt someone, he thought bleakly. Tears of exhaustion and pain blurred Phoenix’s vision, but he blinked them back, not letting them fall. I’m sorry, Darius. Jason. Hunter. I can’t…

“Phoenix?” Caleb’s voice called, “Phoooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeniiiiiiiiiiiiiiix! Are you out here?”

The ortet emerged from the steam, holding an umbrella over his head. Even with the barrier between him and the rain, tiny pockmark burns dotted his arms and face, and his clothing steamed. A pang of guilt tore at Phoenix—he’d come looking, even in the rain, and he’d gotten hurt.

“Go away,” Phoenix choked, “Just… go home.”

“Are you coming with me?”

Was he crazy?! “I can’t.”

Caleb shrugged. “Then I’m not going home either.”

He took another step closer, and Phoenix curled further into the hollow. “Stay back!”

Caleb halted in his tracks, holding his hands up as best he could while still gripping the umbrella. “Hey—it’s okay,” he shushed, edging closer, “I’m not gonna hurt you, it’s okay.”

“No—stay away—I don’t want to hurt you!”

“Then don’t,” Caleb said simply, taking another slow, steady step towards him.

Phoenix shook his head. How could he not understand?! He’d seen Belos, he’d fought Belos; why was he still coming closer, knowing what might happen?! “I don’t want to—but the curse, Belos’ attacks—”

“Oh,” Caleb sighed, “I see.” He reached the hollow, ducking inside and kneeling next to Phoenix. Phoenix’s heart thudded in his chest, and he pulled his arms even closer to himself, keeping them away from Caleb.

“You should run before… before…”

Caleb cupped Phoenix’s face in his hands, his thumb wiping away a streak of dirt. “Hey. Listen to me. Phillip didn’t hurt people because of the curse.” He shook his head. “Phillip hurt people because he wanted to. And Phoenix…” Caleb smiled gently, brushing Phoenix’s hair out of his face. “I’m not scared of you.”

A sob burst out of Phoenix’s throat, and he fell forward, burying his face in Caleb’s shoulder. Caleb wrapped his arms around Phoenix without hesitation, one hand cradling his head and the other resting on his back. Phoenix clutched him like a lifeline—his hands had turned to claws, so he stretched his fingers out flat to keep from tearing Caleb’s skin.

“I don’t—want to end up—like him—” he cried, tears still pouring from his eyes, “I don’t want to—” Every lie and trick, every harsh word, everything he’d done wrong in the last month pounded against his head, screaming that it was already too late, and this was just his body finally showing what he really was.

“You won’t,” Caleb said fiercely, “I won’t let that happen. I promise, you won’t turn into him. I promise, I promise, I promise.”

“It’s already started,” Phoenix stammered, “I’m sorry, I should have told you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have hidden it, but I’m seeing his memories, and—and getting upset over things he’d get upset over that I shouldn’t be getting upset over. And I lied to you and Evelyn about my arms, and I lied to the Collector to trick him into letting us go, and I lied to King to get him to come with me, and… and now my arms-!”

The mud started to move again, dripping away from him, and Phoenix hid his face in Caleb’s shoulder rather than see the white bone and the oozing, burning mud. He heaved in a shaky breath. You’re acting like a child, a voice in his head scolded, but Caleb felt warm and solid, and he didn’t want to let go.

“Okay. Okay.” Caleb rubbed a slow circle on his back. “Okay. Hey—hey, I don’t know why this is happening, or you’re seeing his memories. I don’t. But they don’t make you him, not any more than Hunter is Belos because he went into Belos’ mind and saw his memories.”

“But the Collector. And King. The way I lied and tricked them…” Phoenix shuddered, his clawed hands clenching into fists and opening over and over. “I knew it was like him, I knew it was exactly something Belos would do. And I knew that the Collector had been tricked before. But I still… I still…”

“You were scared,” Caleb said gently, “You were facing something much more powerful than you, and the only way out was to use your head. Lying isn’t always the wrong thing to do, Phoenix. Sometimes you have to lie, to protect yourself and the people you love.”

“And how do you know Belos wasn’t just scared?” Phoenix challenged, “Maybe he thought he had to lie, too.”

Caleb heaved a deep sigh and slowly sat back on his heels, ending the hug. “Phillip was scared,” he admitted, “Phillip was scared of a lot of things. He was scared of dying. He was scared of losing me. But most of all, Phillip was scared of what he didn’t understand.”

“Then how?” Phoenix asked, his voice cracking, “If he lied because he was scared too, then how is it any different?”

Caleb went very still and stayed a little bit too quiet for just a little bit too long. Outside, the rain came to a stop, leaving just lingering wisps of steam. “I think,” Caleb said slowly, “that Phillip let his fear of what he didn’t understand turn into hatred.” He closed his eyes, shaking his head slightly like he was admitting something to himself. “I encouraged him to turn it into hatred.” Caleb opened his eyes again, his shoulders hunching just ever-so-slightly, as if he were scared Phoenix would be angry at him. “I thought it was the right thing at the time, but…” he sighed. “That’s besides the point. Fear can help keep us safe. But not everything we don’t understand is out to get us. And that is something Phillip never learned. Something he didn’t want to learn.”

Phoenix tucked his arms in close again. “I… don’t understand.”

“Phillip chose to hate the things he didn’t understand instead of trying to find out more about them. And he went out of his way to keep doing so and to keep lying, and he kept on hating the unknown so badly that when the time came… he ended up causing one of his worst fears to come to pass rather than letting go of the fear that turned into hate.”

Caleb twisted his hands around each other. “I can’t say for sure where the line lies,” he said finally, “But I think perhaps Phillip crossed it when he sought out the unknown in order to destroy it, rather than just protecting himself when something harmful came his way. And most of all, I think he crossed that line when he was given obvious signs that he was hurting innocent people, and doing the wrong thing, and he chose to ignore them and keep going instead of changing.”

“How do you know I’m not doing the same thing?”

“Phoenix, would you lie to… King? Yes, King. Would you lie to King again?”

Phoenix shook his head dully. Even without knowing how King had reacted when he’d found out—he should have told him the whole truth from the beginning. Let him make his own decisions.

“And the Collector—”

“They’re not what everyone thinks,” Phoenix said in a rush, “They’re just a kid who wanted friends, and I was so desperate to get home that I ruined any chance I had, but if I hadn’t lied to him and tried to run, if I’d tried something else, anything else, I think I could have—I could have—” he stopped, eying Caleb. The ortet wore a small, knowing smile on his face. “What? Why are you smiling like that?”

“You took time to understand the Collector,” Caleb said gently.

“He’s still terrifying. Even more now that they probably hate me.”

“But…?”

“But not bad,” Phoenix admitted, “I don’t want to hurt them. And I don’t think I have to lie to them—I shouldn’t lie to him.”

“There you go. Still think you’re just like Belos?”

Phoenix held up his dripping arms. “But if I do start to…what if I start to act like him, and I don’t even realize?”

“You have me. And you have Evelyn. And you have all your siblings.” Caleb gave him a crooked grin. “I think we’re kind of experts on what Belos acts like. If you’re really worried… just trust us. We’re not perfect. And we make mistakes. But we’ll help you the best we can.”

He stood up, offering Phoenix a hand. “They’re all worried about you. Let’s go home?”

Phoenix reached up to take his hand, but before he did, he heard a rustle and a snap, and the hiss of magic. A glowing net shot out of the bushes, slamming into Phoenix.

“Got it!” a voice cheered from the bush. Two familiar masks and white cloaks popped up, dirty and dented, but still undeniably coven scouts. “Urgh, what is that thing?! I’ve never seen anything like it!”

Phoenix tore at the net, his throat closing up and his breath seizing in his chest. “Get it off—get it off, get it—”

“Stay calm—” Caleb knelt down next to the net, flicking out a knife and sawing at the magical ropes. “I’ve got you, Phoenix, you’re going to be o—”

One of the scouts yanked Caleb back, throwing him to the side. “Back off! Our kill!”

Phoenix strained and kicked to get away, but the net held, and the more he struggled, the tighter the net got, digging into his skin. His arms started to shift again, the cursed mud sliding in and out of the holes in the net, bubbling and squirming to burst free.

Caleb surged to his feet, cannoning into one of the scouts and wrestling them away from Phoenix. “No!” he yelled, “He’s not—a monster! Leave—him—alone!”

“Get off!”

The scout drew a spell circle, and a flesh-eating plant tore out of the ground, snapping Caleb up in its jaws. The human yelled in pain, and a sound like a roar burst out of Phoenix’s throat. A surge of energy shot through his limbs, and he tore the net apart.

“Titan—”

“Watch out, there it—”

Without thinking, Phoenix threw one hand out, and the cursed mud responded, shooting forward and slamming into one scout’s chest, throwing him backwards into a tree. The other scout threw a fireball at him, and he raised his other arm to shield himself. The magic slammed into his arm, but it didn’t seem to burn, just sort of… splattered against the mud uselessly. Phoenix tossed the scout into the branches of another tree effortlessly, turning to face the plant.

The cursed mud stretched out so far that he could see most of his arm’s bones, and some of his fingers as well. Phoenix faltered, exhaustion sweeping up from the tips of his fingers and through his whole body, like the mud was sapping all the energy he had left.

Caleb cried out as the plant tightened its grip, and Phoenix’s vision blurred. He felt himself moving, felt trees rushing past him, felt something heavy in his arms, but it was all automatic, his feet stumbling along the way until familiar lights blinked at him. He heard a yell for someone to help, and something tugged at the weight in his arms—Caleb, he realized, someone was trying to pull Caleb away. A snarl rasped out of his throat, and he pulled Caleb closer. Shadowy people moved in his eyesight, their faces blurred and indistinct, but all of them keeping a wary distance. He felt big, and detached, like some clumsy beast that had stumbled into a domesticated town.

Something wrapped around his waist, something solid and warm. Phoenix started to pull away, but the thing just clung tighter. It didn’t make any move to take Caleb, or tug him anywhere, or knock him over, it just… held on.

Hugged, he realized, and some small part of Phoenix started to settle back down, enough that he saw and recognized the dirty, freckled face that pressed against him, eyes squeezed shut. He recognized the scar stretching from his left eyebrow to just under his right eye, and the calloused hands, rough from hours spent in the garden.

“Mole?” he whispered.

Evelyn hovered in front of them, her hands fluttering like she wasn’t quite sure whether or not it was safe to touch him. Finally, she stepped forward, sliding one arm around a half-conscious Caleb. Phoenix let her help him down, wrapping his arms around Mole instead.

Mole squeezed so tightly Phoenix’s bruised ribs ached, but he didn’t pull away. “I’m sorry,” Phoenix whispered, “I’m sorry, you were right. I should have asked for help.”

Mole sniffed and nodded, stepping back and holding one fist to his chest, rubbing it in a circle.

“He also says sorry,” Evelyn supplied, “For… being angry?” she guessed.

Mole nodded and hugged Phoenix again. Phoenix wrapped one half-melting arm around him, which quickly turned to one arm around his shoulders while Mole helped him into the house, Phoenix’s legs folding and stumbling like a newborn snake-horse’s. Cherry paced back and forth in the kitchen, but his attention was mostly taken up by the baby grimwalker in his arms, who kept trying to tug on his hair.

“They found you.” Cherry leaned against the table for balance, his distraction allowing the little grimwalker to grasp his flyaway hair strand firmly. “I thought—it got worse, and I didn’t say any—” He held the baby grimwalker tightly, as if they were the only thing keeping him tethered to the world. “But you’re—not okay. But you’re here—titan.”

“I’m sorry,” Phoenix croaked. Guilt bubbled up in his stomach again—Cherry had been in a bad enough state when he’d left. And Phoenix had added the stress of hiding how badly he was doing on top of that. “Cherry, I…”

Grimwalkers gathered in a murmuring circle around Phoenix, staring at his arms.

“Did he…” Meleager asked quietly, gesturing to Caleb.

“No,” Caleb protested weakly, “He—”

A loud retch split the air, and the crowd parted around one grimwalker with a blotchy scar marring their right cheek. Everything else about them was pale—their platinum blonde half-up hair, the magenta of their eyes that fell closer to light pink, and the color of their skin, so pale it was almost translucent. They held one hand to their mouth, staring at Phoenix’s arms.

“Ash—” Evelyn started, but they backed away, gagging again, then turned and ran.

“On it,” Matt promised, chasing after them.

At the edge of the circle, Sam glanced at Cherry, who’d started pacing again, at Evelyn, who was still supporting Caleb, and at Phoenix and Mole. His spine straightened, and he gave the grimwalker next to him a slight push.

“Okay!” he announced briskly, shooing grimwalkers out of the kitchen, “Quit gawking! Big whoop! You people are acting like you’ve never seen a guy’s arms drip off his bones before! Give them space! Go do your chores! Isn’t it time for a patrol? Get on it!”

The crowd slowly dispersed, still murmuring.

“They’ll get used to it, assuming you can’t get rid of it,” Sam announced, “We all will.” He gave Evelyn a pointed look at that, then flounced off, following the grimwalkers to the hallway.

Evelyn lugged Caleb towards the temporary medical center. Phoenix started to follow, but fell at his first step, every muscle completely drained of energy. Mole half-carried him to Cherry’s room, pushing him into bed.

“What about—” Phoenix started in a whisper, but Mole just shook his head with a sigh, throwing a blanket over him. He patted Phoenix’s shoulder, as if to say leave it to me, and went outside, closing the lights and the door behind him. Phoenix sighed, pulling his arms close to himself under the blanket.

If I go to sleep now, will I wake up? Or will it take over?

Despite the worry twisting in his stomach, Phoenix’s eyes started to droop shut, heavy with exhaustion.

Just… for a moment.

[magicshopaholic]

hey, do you read fic at all? i was wondering if you had any recs, i feel like i don't see you interact with fic a lot on here! i love your stories, so wondered what are your favorite authors too :]

Hello! The short answer to this is yes, but it comes with the caveat that I haven’t read much lately, primarily because I have no time but also because now that my characters are getting more and more fleshed out with every fic, reading other fanfic feels like my members are cheating on their OCs 😕 (I read this really good Namjoon fic where he met the reader at a party, and spent a whole week imagining Namjoon cheating on Kaya with that Y/N and it kind of killed me)

Having said that, I still do read fics when I can, definitely those that don’t interfere in my head with my OCs. I’m joining collabs and book clubs as much as I can so that I read more; but in the meantime I’d love to recommend some of my favourite fics and authors to you and any other readers:

(Please read the warnings on each fic before proceeding)

1. Poetry of the Stars by @jjiimin: This is the best fic I have read my entire life (barring one legendary series in the HP fandom - iykyk) and I honestly have nothing else to say about it. Riley has unfortunately deactivated her Tumblr account but I’m so glad I got to tell her how incredible her story was before she did so, so this is my number one. It’s 25K+ words iirc and was one of the first fics I read in the fandom and I just read it all in one go because I couldn’t stop.

(Also a favourite is Irresistible by the same author but I unfortunately don’t have a link to it)

2. @sahmfanficbts: There’s no fic mentioned here because I recommend Sam’s entire masterlist. She’s one of my all time favourite authors in the fandom and I have read and will read every single BTS fic she ever posts. Every fic is so immersive and every character is so deeply developed that they just stay with me and I find myself thinking about them at random times. Just beautiful, fantastic writing.

3. The Rich Man’s Crochet Club series by @kpopfanfictrash: Funny, quippy dialogue is my absolute favourite thing and this series has some of the best combination of humour and heart. Shanna’s works are pretty popular so you may have already checked this one out but I’m gonna recommend it anyway. (I remember coming on anon to gush about it because I was shy af, but I absolutely loved it, Shanna :))

4. Four Seven Eight by @jiminrings: This is the one I’ve read most recently and I’ve had it in my drafts since then so that I don’t forget to write a review because it deserves a great one. So here’s my apology to Hannah for taking so long to do it 🤓 but this is an amazing series, full of angst and hope and has my recommendation for sure.

5. For The Crown by @chimknj: I don’t read mxm fics, particularly mxm smut, but there was no way on earth I was going to pass on this one. Gina and I share an obsession with A Song of Ice and Fire (and I mean OBSESSION - we talk about it 24x7) and the premise of this fic was so compelling and so exciting to discuss that the only thing better than that was actually reading it. The way Gina has written this - I was transported to Westeros instantly. Everything is subtle and nuanced and I found myself connecting with every single character (also Kingsguard!Namjoon was not something I knew I needed). Idk if she’s planning on writing future parts but if she is… fuck, I’m so excited I can’t even talk about it.

6. A Silent Heart Still Beats by @akinnie75: This is another fic I have in my drafts because its review deserves my entire attention. It deals with some difficult topics but is so sad yet hopeful. The OC is such a beautiful character inside and out and this doesn’t usually happen to me with fics, but she actually changed my life and taught me how to rise above, be compassionate and forgive. I won’t give away anymore but this is just a gorgeous, gorgeous fic.

7. Just Practice by @lamourche: I can’t BELIEVE I’ve finally found this fic again!!! I read it once and then lost it (now I realise it’s because the author has seemingly removed their masterlist) but I’d commented on it from my main blog. It is one of my favourite fics of all time: it reads like a college indie movie or like a Sally Rooney novel. I was crying at the end but I couldn’t even put my finger on what it was which just meant that it was the entire vibe of the story rather than a specific scene. It breaks my heart that I’ll never get to read this again but the author has all my appreciation and gratitude for writing it.

These are some recs off the top of my head that have stayed with me and I’ll probably add to this if I think of more. A huge thank you to all these authors for their wonderful work - and thanks to you too, anon, for the question. It felt great to go back to old fics and give a shout out to such talented writers <3

[iviarellereads]

Rogue Protocol, Chapter 4

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index and a primer on The Murderbot Diaries, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

In which (hacker voice) we're in.

Miki's feed has a scan of the facility, so Murderbot is fairly sure it knows where to look for the evidence it needs. Kader says the environmental conditions are showing good, and asks Don Abene if she's sure about the full environmental suits to go in. MB is about to ask Miki to suggest the full-gear, when Don Abene answers in the affirmative, they can reevaluate later but better to be cautious. MB relaxes, at least a little, and reminds itself these aren't its clients.(1)

MB watches the crew gear up and leave through Miki's eyes. Wilken goes first, and the feed from her helmet makes MB wonder if this is the best place to board the facility. Then again, its choice would be to go in with drones before any human set foot, and it snarks a little about knowing what it's doing.

Slowly, the rest of the humans, and Miki, filter onto the facility. MB splits its attention across seven streams, one for each helmet camera and Miki. The feed is completely quiet except for them. Miki wonders to "Rin" if the humans thought the systems would be lonely if they were left active. MB wonders if Art thought it was this stupid, but answers Miki with a maybe, then adds that GrayCris probably removed the system cores to cut their losses. Miki relays this to the humans, and Hirune agrees, though there's some shielding. Ejiro suspects it's the atmospheric disturbances, and Vibol comes in over comm to say they're in some heavy weather, as an in-joke that all the GI humans and Miki express amusement at.

MB finally slips out of the storage cubby and out of the lock, once again wiping the log. Kader is too busy to hear it this time. Instead of following the team, it heads down the corridor, missing its armour not because of anonymity, but because it senses a threat. It thought the visit to RaviHyral might have eased the paranoia, but not so much.

I couldn’t pin down what was bothering me. Scan was negative, and this far away from the team there was no ambient sound except the whisper through the air system. Maybe it was the lack of security camera access, but I’d been in worse places with no cameras. Maybe it was something subliminal. Actually, it felt pretty liminal. Pro-liminal. Up-liminal?(2) Whatever, there was no knowledge base here to look it up.

While the humans report the same sensation as it does, MB makes its way to the lift junction, and warns Miki that it's going to use it, and not to report the power fluctuation. Miki asks where it's going, and it says it needs to check out the geopod, as part of its orders. It remembers too late that it told Miki it was here as extra security for the team, but Miki doesn't question orders,(3) just tells MB to be careful.

MB considers telling Miki what it's really here for, but it knows Miki would report to its human friends immediately. They'll figure out that the facility was doing something other than its stated purpose eventually, when they consider things like the decontam room at the passenger lock, but if Miki says something, Don Abene will ask how she knows, and Miki will have to tell about MB.

Who knew being a heartless killing machine would present so many moral dilemmas. (Yes, that was sarcasm.)

MB gets off the lift and follows a corridor to the geo pod. It can see the storm outside, and it loses twenty two seconds just watching it. Something must leak into the feed, because Miki asks what it's looking at, so it sends a metadata-wiped video. Miki thinks it's pretty, and replays the video a few times as it follows Don Abene.

The team are nearly to their destination, so MB has to get a move on. It finds the digger bots, and finds that fortunately, though someone ordered them to dump their logs in violation of warranty, they were shut down before the buffers emptied, and MB can retrieve all that data without waking them. It's a lot of data, but it can store it on the memory clips it bought, and watch a favourite episode of Sanctuary Moon while it waits.

And wait it does, until Miki asks if that was "Rin".

MB disentangles itself from the console, and asks what Miki means. Miki sends an audio clip, but has to strip out the comm audio before MB can hear the other noises: the air system, and a heartbeat. It warns Miki to determine the direction of the hostile, and alert its humans.

Miki widens its scan, and Don Abene asks what's wrong. Miki asks MB for help, it doesn't have any security training, and it's never been in an emergency. With MB's help, Miki tells Don Abene that something is coming, and they need to leave. As MB processes the data, it tells Miki there's no time to get out, they have to shelter in place. Wilken and Gerth finally figure out what's happening and tell the humans to get down the corridor, but MB knows there's not enough time to make it, and says humans are too slow to work security effectively.

MB finally gets a lift and makes it down to the humans' location, and an action sequence follows that I have no hope of summarizing in full. Suffice it to say, MB makes it just in time to save Don Abene from being pulled out the closing hatch door, and if she hadn't been wearing the enviro suit, she would certainly have been torn in half. As the thing holds the helmet, MB disengages it, noting in an aside that if it had been wearing armour, it would never have had the sensitivity in its fingers to find the release tab.

As Miki asks worriedly if Don Abene needs medical assistance, Gerth tells everyone that MB is a SecUnit. MB wonders where it went wrong, why it lost its impulse control, and whether it should kill them all to protect itself.(4) That would be the smart thing, so it's going to have to take the dumb way out. It acknowledges that it's a SecUnit, but says it's under contract to Security Consultant Rin, sent as an extra security measure. It can't pretend to be an augmented human, not even one of those could do what it just did.

And, it's only at this point that it remembers that Miki will know the difference, that its feed signature is the one Rin was talking to it with the whole time. MB regrets not overriding Miki outright, a little. It asks Miki to let it help. So, when Don Abene asks Miki who this is, Miki says Rin is its friend, and asked Miki not to tell, to keep Don Abene safe. MB notes that this isn't quite a lie or the truth, and gains an inch of respect for Miki's potential depths. Gerth and Wilken share a startled look, but control it quickly.(5)

They contact the pilots, and then Miki notices that Hirune is missing. MB still has a feed for her, but it indicates she's unconscious. Miki replays its footage, finding that Hirune was dragged off first, before Gerth and Wilken started shooting, probably not realizing she was in the same direction as their shots.

Abene finally notices that Gerth and Wilken are pointing their weapons at her saviour. They want to know why there's a SecUnit here, but Abene wants to know how they let Hirune get taken. Miki asks Don Abene desperately to lie and say she knew Rin was here. MB is sure Abene won't take the word of her pet robot, and thinks privately that since that pet robot is playing fast and loose with the truth and definitely withholding that Rin and the SecUnit are the same person, its word isn't worth much here.

But, Abene plays along, and says she didn't know Rin would be here as well.

Gerth and Wilken are still snapping, and there's no communication on the feed between them. MB starts to get suspicious. There are plenty of legitimate questions to ask, since the scenario it described would violate bond regulations. And yet, Gerth finally takes her weapon off MB and points it down the corridor where a hostile took Hirune.

Abene says she doesn't care what they were told, they need to get Hirune back. Gerth can escort Brais and Ejiro back to the ship, and Wilken can help Abene or give her a gun and go with the others. MB punches the air internally, and says Rin instructed it to help in any way necessary. Wilken says Abene should go back to the ship, and she'll go for Hirune with the SecUnit.

The humans going back to the shuttle get upright, and MB tells them not to take a lift, in case it's compromised. Gerth snaps she knew that, and MB snarks in the feed that it knew she'd know that. Miki starts down the corridor where Hirune was taken, and Abene follows, picking up her helmet.(6) MB waits until Wilken starts following Abene and Miki, then comes up level with Abene, watching the other group's feeds for trouble.

=====

(1) Do you think that's intended as "I'm not responsible for them anyway" or "these people might, in fact, be smarter than my usual clients"? (2) Not exactly how most of those words are used. XD Subliminal is below a threshold, in fairness. Liminal is the threshold, like a liminal space is a threshold between two defined spaces. A doorway is a liminal space between a inside and outside a home, for example, but a foyer is also a threshold because it's the transitional space between home and out. Pro-liminal and up-liminal aren't in any sort of common usage as terms that I can find. I think the word MB was looking for was "superliminal". And I can think of none of this without thinking of the Scott Pilgrim movie soundtrack, and the Sex Bob-Omb track "Threshold" which wouldn't be a very good soundtrack for this scene, but does amuse me. (3) Figure that'll come back to bite MB in the ass sooner, or later? (4) I'm sure with an extra moment to think, MB would acknowledge that the reason it has no more impulse control is because of its drive to protect humans. (5) Can't really blame them, since they were probably, rightly, told they were the only security, and they should've been looped in on any other real security to ensure proper coverage. (6) Times like this, my inability to visualize mentally really gets in the way of reading. I thought the helmet was pulled through the closing hatch, I don't see a passage indicating the hatch was reopened, and yet here we are. Am I missing a line somewhere, or is there an oopsie in the story?

[seaside-writings]

(Part 5 of 4)

Hello, all you wonderful, lovely people! I'm here with another prompt list for you all!

I know it's been a year since I posted a list having to do with the Scream franchise, but yesterday was the day that the fifth movie aired in theaters, and I thought it would be fun to celebrate by making a prompt list for it just like I did for the other movies.

As before with the other four lists, I’ve changed some stuff in the dialogue to help things be a little smoother.

I will also be linking the four other prompts in this list so if any of you want to check them out you can! And if you use these or any of the others prompts please credit/tag me so I can check what you created because I'd love to see it! 

Now with all of that out of the way, please enjoy this prompt list!

I hope you all stay blessed and safe throughout your day.

Lots of Love & Wishes: Celia 💙

(1, 2, 3, 4)

Prompts:

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

-

"Do you remember the beginning?" "Not really. It started with a kill scene, right? They always started with a kill scene,"

-

"I’ve been through this. A lot,"

-

"It's happening, three attacks so far. Do you have a gun?" "Of course, I have a gun,"

-

"There are certain rules to surviving these types of movies. Rule #1: never trust the love interest. Rule #2: what is the killer's motive? Rule #3: the first victim always has a friend group that the killer's a part of,"

-

"Whatever his link is to our past, it's pulled us all back here,"

-

"I won't rest until he's in the ground,"

-

"You ready?" "For this? Never,"

-

"This is your life now, which means that whoever this is is going to keep coming for you,"

-

"Something about this one just feels different,"

-

"The killer is a part of something in the past,"

-

"You said we were going to finish this, so go finish this,"

-

"I'll be right back!" "... He's dead,"

-

"You mean like Halloween?" "No, not like Halloween," "Sounds a lot like Halloween,"

-

"You know that part in the horror movie where you’re screaming at the person to get the fuck out? This is that part; get the fuck out,"

-

"Are you kidding me? I've been stabbed nine times,"

-

"Have you ever been stabbed?"

-

"It's an honor,"

-

Bonus question, do you think I made it inside your house before you could rearm the alarm?

-

"The attacks were all on people related to the original killers,"

-

"You got stabbed a billion times, got dumped by your famous wife, and crawled into a bottle. I think it's safe to say, you're on the suspect list,"

-

"A non-answer counts as a wrong answer. Time's running out. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock,"

-

"She was attacked," "What? Is she-" "She's alive, but in bad shape. She was stabbed,"

-

"When there's a psycho out there, you make yourself harder to find. You delete social media, tape over your phone camera, and disable GPS,"

-

"Well, it's elevated horror," "What does that mean, (elevated horror?)" "You know, it's like scary, but with complex emotional and thematic underpinnings. It's not just some schlocky, cheeseball nonsense with wall-to-wall jumpscares,"

-

"I mean she could still die," "What the fuck!?" "Or the killer could come back for her,"

-

"I mean I've never seen "Gone With The Wind" either, but I don't consider it like a huge hole in my cinematic education,"

-

"I'm just telling you, arm up, okay? Pepper spray, pocket knife, taser, anything,"

-

"Every decade or so, some idiot gets the bright idea to put on the mask, kill his friends, and get famous too. The last time it happened was in 2011,"

-

"I have to make sure we don't get sliced up by some lunatic who saw Friday the 13th and thought, "You know what? That Jason guy, he's got some pretty solid ideas,"

-

"Oh, they're not the only ones I'm going to hurt; I had to get you back here somehow, didn't I?"

-

"And where were you when all of this happened?" "I was watching, Netflix," "Ooh, yeah, super solid alibi, bro,"

-

"Or, and I'm just spit-balling here, you're the killer,"

-

"It doesn't freak you out that my real father was a serial killer?" "I mean, yeah. A great deal, yeah,"

-

"Give me one good reason why I should talk to you," "The original killer is my father," "... That's a horrible reason for me to talk to you,"

-

"Because nobody takes the true fans seriously, not really. They just laugh at us, and why? Because we love something? We're just a fucking joke to them! How can fandom be toxic? It's about love! You don't fucking understand, these movies are important to people,"

-

"Thank goodness, you're okay! Because I really, really wanted to be the one to kill you,"

-

"Never fuck the daughter of a serial killer,"

-

"It's good to hear your voice,"

-

"Promise me. No matter what you hear or what you see on the news, don't come here," "No offense, but I have no intention of ever stepping foot in that town again,"

-

"You wanna fuck with me, asshole? I'm right here. Come and get me!" "With pleasure,"

-

"Whoever this killer is after, I'm glad they have you to protect them,"

-

"You are a lot of things, but you are NOT a coward,"

-

"Why are you doing this?" "Why? You wanna know why? Maybe it's because you're a selfish bitch who can't even make a decision to save the life of someone you love. Maybe you're too weak for this franchise," "Maybe you're right. Or maybe I'm just stalling for time, fuckhead!"

-

"You have to shoot them in the head, or they always come back,"

-

"I want you to help us kill him," "You want me to help you and the host of a morning show to commit murder?" "Correct," "Yeah,"

-

"I put a tracker on her car," "You did what?" "Seems like something you would do," "I'll take that as a compliment,"

-

"Oh, there's two of you... again,"

-

"You know, I'm a really big fan?" "Go fuck yourself,"

-

"You really need some new material," "I got you here, didn't I?" "You might actually be the most derivative one of all. I mean, really, the same house?"

-

"I started all this," "No, you didn't, the sick bastard started this, and we're gonna end it. After tonight, no more books, no more movies, no more fucking killers,"

-

"Help me! Help me! He stabbed me!" "What do you think?" "Trap,"

-

"Someone had to save the franchise!"

-

"You did all this just to make me the hero of your fucked-up movie?" "Sweetie, you’re not the hero. You’re the villain,"

-

"Fuck you!" "Well, now you’re just quoting the original,"

-

"What are you gonna do now, huh? Make a scary phone call to me? Pop your head out of the closet in a mask? You know, 'cause you're the villain? And the villain dies at the end! Those are the rules!"

-

"Wait! What about my ending?!"

-

"You know what the biggest problem of this franchise is? There’s no Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees, no bad guy to keep coming back. But the illegitimate daughter of the original mastermind? Now that’s a fucking villain,"

-

"Can’t have a bona fide Halloween without Jamie Lee!"

-

"I'm introducing a new rule,"

-

"You're not the reason Dad left. You didn't choose where you came from, or who you came from. I don't blame you for that. I blame you for leaving me, too," "That's never gonna happen again," "I know,"

-

"This time, it's gonna be the fans that win,"

-

"You really should’ve listened to him! He nailed it in one! "Dude, look at the love interest!" Are you fucking stupid?"

-

"I can't believe I get to do you both! No last-minute saves this time! Your story's over! Time to pass the torch!" "It's all yours, bitch!"

-

"Enjoy the torch,"

-

"Please, it's not my fault! I'm just a dumb kid, I just wanted to be a part of something!" "Apart of something? You killed me best friend!"

-

"I’m so sorry, we can’t let you live, either. I mean, surviving this many times, that would just be ridiculous,"

-

"You're not going anywhere without me. Don't worry, I'm gonna hold your hand the whole way there,"

-

"Not really a fan of scary movies," "That checks out,"

-

"I still prefer The Babadook,"

-

"It's always someone you know,"

-

"I've seen this movie before," "Not this movie,"

-

"Careful, they always come back," 

[formulinos]

hello. i actually have something serious to talk this time.

as some of you might know, i’ve been working on a piece i call “the elusive hyperfixation corner” as a sort of working title - i don’t really want to discuss what it is about until i post it. i started researching and developing the concept back in may 2021, which means that in 2 months time i’ll complete two years working on it.

logically, i didn’t devote myself full time to it: i’ve moved to france in the meantime and studying/working here demands way more time than back at home. i’ve also had several health struggles i’ve talked about before (special shout out to covid last year, didn’t kill me but surely made me wish i was dead!) and family issues that i had to navigate while being in a whole different hemisphere. all of that means i didn’t have a lot of time available for starters, and occasionally i had other ideas that were more viable to work on because they didn’t demand as much time. take the last HC for example, i read capitalist realism in roughly a week while taking notes and then completed the whole thing in three days. anyway.

this doesn’t mean, however, that i’ve set it completely aside. on the contrary, i frequently went back on the notes and time actually gave me perspective on what was missing, and this is the point i wanted to get at: i felt my amount of source material was pretty scarce. mind you, when i first started writing it properly, i had already done a chunk of work i’d say is similar to the 1982 championship series (if any of the guys who i did talk about it in detail want to correct me on this, feel free to!). but i constantly remembered other places i could go and books i needed to fetch to find maybe a bit or a piece that could fit into the text.

it got to the point where i needed to stop myself because it’s akin to self-harm, truly. it doesn’t feel good, i got paranoid thinking there is stuff missing and i lose out on days that i could be working on writing because i’m reading or watching stuff that will translate in barely a line of the final product. the result is that i got over 18k words just in notes plus two parts out of five theoretically written, but i’m not satisfied at all with them, so i’ve decided i’ll rewrite what feels wrong. i haven’t stopped checking content entirely since there are some videos i need to go through so that i can gif stuff, etc. but this is legit where i’m halting this part of the process. i hope you can forgive me if it still feels like i wasn’t in depth enough.

i wanted to have posted this so, so much before. there was a specific date that really crushed me not having anything to deliver to you - you’ll understand when i post it. ideally, i’ll be able to turn it in before the summer break, but this might as well go all the way to december since i’ll have to wrap up my interniship and move back home in july/august and my whole month of may is pretty full too (i’m taking a girls trip for monaco e-prix, then my family will come to france and i’m thinking about surprising them w a short stay in london, and i’ll go to berlin at the end of the month. oh! and arctic monkeys concert somewhere in between).

i feel like george r r martin talking about the winds of winter here, but i do think it’s important to give the three of you that care a small update on how things are going. please wish me luck! i promise i’m working hard and hopefully the result will please you. cheers and forza ferrari.

[sonntam]

Chapter 1 of God of War "Lore and Legends": (part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Sometimes Father looks at me like I’m a stranger.

He frowns a little bit, and his eyes get dark. When he speaks, it’s usually just “Pass the goat butter, boy,” or something like that. If he ever smiled and asked, “How are you feeling today, Atreus?” I’d have to go check his hunting pouch for spotted mushrooms.

Actually, I have seen Father smile. But only when he’s sitting by the fire with Mother.

One night a few weeks ago they were discussing Leviathan’s balance and heft. The axe used to be hers, but she gave it to him a while ago. Of course, Father’s favorite topic of conversation is always weapons. But his eyes were so bright in the firelight, looking at her.

I could tell she means everything to him. Way more than me, that’s for sure.

—

Tonight is the best night of my life!

After dinner, Mother told me a bunch of amazing stories about Skaði, the great giant huntress. We talked about hunting for hours.

And then came the surprise!

She pulled something wrapped in oilskin from our weapon locker and told me to unroll it. I did and there it was — she finished the longbow! It’s beautiful! I helped her string it. She grabbed the bow and flexed it herself while I hooked the bowstring to each end.

I was so excited, I started to cough again. I don’t cough as much as I did when I was little, plus Mother has taught me how to breathe so I calm down. She taught me how to think about the animals I love.

Anyway, we’re going out to practice tomorrow, just Mother and me.

I’m so happy I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight.

—

I was right. I can’t sleep.

I can’t stop starting at my longbow. It looks like a flying bird. A hawk, maybe. When I nock an arrow, it’s a hawk with killer talon. I’ve decided to call it my Talon Bow.

—

What a day! I am sitting on my fvaorite old log in Wildwoods. Mother’s just down the path, refilling out water flask in the falls.

We’ve been on a practice hunt!

This morning, Father returned from another two-day trek just as we were heading out into the woods. He gave me a nod and hugged Mother. But when he saw the Talon Bow, his eyes got big.

“Very nice,” he said.

I handed it to him and slid an arrow out of my quiver. He notched it, pulled it to full draw, and sighted down the arrow’s shaft.

“Remarkable,” he said, squinting.

But he didn’t shoot. He just eased the string forward and returned the arrow to me. Then he gave Mother a look. He smiled… I think. It’s hard to tell with him.

Mother showed me how to set my feet in a direct line to the target… move them shoulder-width apart… nock the arrow and pull back with three fingers just below it… line up my eye behind the arrow’s spine… slowly let out my breath… relax and aim… shoot.

After an hour, I got pretty good at hitting trees. Hitting rabbits? Not so good. Mother is amazing, though. She never misses.

I wonder how she got so good with weapons.

—

Why do I still get sick? I don’t get it.

It makes me really mad. Like today, Father was glad to see I’m learning skills that matter to him, so he coiled thick straw into a round target so I could practice with my new bow. I wanted to impress him. My first shots were a little wild… I was nervous. But pretty soon I started hitting the bullseye.

As I drew another arrow, a black-trailed hare suddenly hopped out of a bush near the target! I raised quickly and swung left to aim ahead of him. But just before I released, I felt a weird pulse in my head.

It was the rabbit! I could hear it… like a voice, but not words.

He was really scared.

I felt bad, so I swung away… but the bowstring slipped from my fingers! The arrow shot straight across the yard toward Mother, who sat carving wooden utensils with her special knife. It hit the fence just above her. In that second of flight, I fell to the ground.

I wanted to bash in my own head, I felt so stupid. I could have killed the thing I loved the most! I started yelling at myself.

Masterpost with God of War "Lore and Legends" transcriptions.

[asseater3k]

Metal gear mania days 1&2

Game: MGS2

Got started yesterday and cleared the tanker and got past the basic setup of the main game. I’ve played Twin snakes a lot back in the day so I was vvaery familiar with the controls and was able to slide back into that control scheme very easily in MGS2 save for a little trouble converting muscle memory from a game cube controller to a ps3 controller. If you’ve played either you know how good this scheme feels, responsive movement leaning around corners and first person aiming combined with the lovely shoulder button menus makes this a great experience from a gameplay standpoint I’d imagine that at launch the tanker segment was a very engaging playground for learning and testing the new controls while it my case and Im sure others who started with the twin snakes it worked as something of a check list like a pre flight check to makes everything was up and running. The tanker also does very well at setting up plot hooks and intrigue some of which went very different directions than I thought they would as always it makes me happy to hear Snake and Otacon.

(Spoilers below the cut)

I was also happily surprised to hear cam Clarke back at it as liquid snake in the form of an arm ocelot picks up being the funniest guy ever right where he left off after the post credits of twin snakes immediately showing up acting goofy doing gun tricks and turning on his allies before succumbing to the horrible fate of being British even if just for a moment. I don’t have much to say on the shift to Raiden as it was something i knew would happen, hard to keep stuff like that under wraps these days. Something I really did appreciate was just how hard this game attempts to gaslight you into thinking everything’s hunkey dory from raidens initial codename being Snake or Campbell, who I’ll talk more about in a bit repeating the lines about the Soloton radar from the first game, not much to say naritively about the early game as most of the conversation where about using the action button is various wacky ways. The main thing that happened during the first day was mostly me trying to wrap my head around why people seemed to hat raiden so much when this game came out. This guy is hilarious and frankly pretty adorable. One of my favorite things about the first game is how it makes you the player and solid snake the character feel like this expendable grunt even while doing insane shit like rocket jumping to kill a helicopter, something I haven’t seen talked about a lot is just how much of the game is something of mystery story and you ALWAYS feel like your the last to know and that Carries over to this game. At this point my naritive thoughts are gonna blend days 1 and 2 together and I’m not gonna really section things out super hard between them, I think a strength of this game is how that sense of being left in dark carries over but is fundamentally different due to having played the last game. At the beginning of MGS there’s no real hint that this is going to be more complex than it presents itself to you. The vibe early on is one of a cool action game where you go in and do snakes solider man things maybe this is different if you played the OG metal gear but for me I was unaware and that feels intentional by the time you get to the DARPA chief you start unraveling these threads and dont really stop untill the end of the game. MGS2 starts you the player and Raiden at about the same point in terms of knowledge with one key difference. You the player KNOW what really happened on Shadow Moses and raiden does not you start the game knowing that something isn’t right and there are these crossing wires but even after all you did in MGS 1 you still dont know enough. I think having the two man booth really adds to this and Campbell repeating lines from the first game weaves that beautifully to give you the sense that something isn’t quite right before you even really start the story. Those lines put you in the headspace of MGS with this full support team but here at this point you really only have the colonel and Rosemary, who I really like i think her dynamic with Raiden is cute. On the other hand Campbell feels off. I love Paul riding hearing is voice makes me feel as though I’ve consumed a lovely warm stew in an otherwise frigid winter is that warmth that spreads through out your body. I do not feel that here at all. I know he kept secrets in MGS and was pretty shady at the end (though the specifics escape me and I was too spoiler scared to check a wiki) but this feels like a whole different level At the point I’m currently at so much of the initial details have been showned to be incomplete or flat out untrue not to mention aspects of the situation he doesn’t include. The combination of his insistence that you can’t trust pliskin ( who IS solid snake I’m not gonna bother with the bit here even though its really funny) and the at times very aggressive tone with which he interacts with raiden makes it really hard to tell if this is stuff he genuinely doesn’t know or if he knows way more than hell let in on. This is another thing i think works really well in conjunction with the first game.\

In that game Campbell was a solid grounding presence which was used by the game later when even he starts becoming unsure and untrustworthy just how much you don’t know and how little of a grasp is had by the cast on the reality of the situation at shadow Moses. In MGS2 you are armed with that knowledge but are still presented with Campbell as the grounded athoritiative figure this creates a sensation of unsteady ground to the player immediately while providing a lot more incentive to interact with and trust pliskin aside form the fact he’s obviously snake he feels like hes got more of the situation figured out and is much more willing to tell Raiden. Side note these feelings of uncertainty and distrust are defiantly also influenced and reinforced by the tanker incident but I find myself unable to articulate that to the degree I could with stuff from the first game.

The Game is also paced very well even if you’re playing it like a nutcase like I am as you go through more and more of things you were told about the mission prove to just be untrue beyond just its more complicated than we initially thought, like i said I’m not sure if Campbell is traight up lying to me or not but at the point I’m at now I’ve just learned about the patriots and its hard not to notice how much the plan of action Campbell insist upon lines up with what it seems they would want at this time I can’t be sure if cause he works for the military of hes just being fed just the same bad info we are or if theres more to it but I am intrigued

On a final note the antagonist situation is interesting. Dead Cell are, objectively, hilarious. I lost my mind when Fatman in particular roller bladed up with his bomb disposal gear and wine glass to talk about how epic his next YouTube prank was gonna be, Vamp just does increasingly more ridiculous things every time hes on screen, Fortune is cool as fuck and her theme fucking melts. After that it does get a bit confusing as which out of the three between ocelot the patriots and solidus i should focus on and I think that’s intentional. It does feel like being in a room with three people where on of which is going to kill you and the others but you don’t if its going to be all of them or just one and if so which one. It all adds up to give a sense that you can’t stay still or in one place too long you have to keep pace with something to stay alive but figuring out exactly what or who is anything but easy

In conclusion: four stars check it out.

[tinyinvadr]

Time for a new Zim fic, my dudes! Make sure to check out the lore post here for more info about my OC and her species.

Ch. 2

The Lone Lumin

Chapter 1

I’ve been on the run for pretty much my whole life.

I was just a kid when my home planet, Luminaris, was claimed by the Irken Empire. Very few of us escaped. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen any Lumin other than myself for a long time.

It was tough, having to pack up and leave the only home I’d ever known, traveling off into the farthest reaches of space to try and start my life over, but I’d be lying if I said I was ever truly happy on Luminaris to begin with.

My memories are pretty faded now, but from what I can remember, no one was outright cruel until the Irkens showed up, but at the same time, the most prominent thought that comes to mind when thinking about the past is how no one ever really wanted me around.

No one ever said anything to my face, but there was this constant sense that I was meant to fade into the background, and if I ever did anything to try and defy that, people tended to not take it so well.

And… long after I left my home behind, that feeling never really went away.

I quickly learned that the universe is a cold, unforgiving place. Luminaris was an easy target for the Empire. Despite our technological advancements, our military was weak. This is in part due to the fact that Lumins as a species, we’re… um, well… we’re small. Much smaller than the Irkens.

Before our planet was conquered, we rarely ever left unless it was absolutely necessary. There are just too many larger creatures out there that can easily overpower us, and the horrifying reality is that most species see us as nothing more than pests, pets, or food. Going anywhere as a Lumin is a death sentence.

But, as I’ve said before, we were highly technologically advanced, and we found ways to survive on other planets. Our ships have a cloaking feature that can take on the appearance of the dominant species of any given planet. That way, we can flawlessly integrate into any society.

Or at least, we SHOULD be able to, but apparently, I’m terrible at it.

I’ve had to travel from planet to planet, my identity as a Lumin being discovered every single time. It’s been an endless cycle of believing I’ve successfully blended in, screwing it up somehow, and nearly escaping certain doom as I move onto the next planet.

It turns out, the only thing I’m really good at is running away.

I could have given up a long time ago, but for some reason, I still have this drive to keep going. I keep telling myself that I’ll find someplace out there that’s right for me. Though, I’m pretty sure I’m just lying to myself so I don’t have to face the harsh truth that I’m destined to die alone somewhere.

Or, maybe I’m just petty. Maybe I enjoy the fact that I’m the one pathetic little Lumin that all those monsters just can’t seem to kill. I just keep getting away every time, and there’s nothing they can do about it.

So now, here I am, on the only inhabited planet in a mostly lifeless solar system, trying once again to blend in and survive.

Earth is a strange planet. It’s… not very advanced. The dominant species, humans, are pretty ignorant in a lot of ways. I haven’t decided if that’s a good thing or not yet.

Using my ship’s cloaking tech, I’ve created a human disguise for myself. I had a lot of options, but I went with a child disguise, that way I can go to skool and learn about the planet, and since human children are smaller, they’re somewhat less likely to pose a threat to me. Somewhat.

The hologram is pretty flawless. There’s no way to tell it’s a disguised spaceship. Well, except for the emergency escape hatch located on the top of the head, but as long as it’s covered with a hat, there are no visible seams.

I’ve been going to skool for about a week now, and everyone has largely ignored me. Which is… probably for the best. I’m safer that way, but I can’t help but feel lonely at the same time.

The closest thing I have to a friend is my classmate, Gaz. We don’t talk or anything, but everyone’s terrified of her, so if I stay near her, it keeps other people from getting too close to me. Of course, I keep a distance from her, too. I don’t want her making eye contact with me, I have this gut feeling that I would actually die from that.

Gaz has a brother that sits at our lunch table. Well, he sits for about two seconds, but he’s always running off and acting super weird, so it’s usually just the two of us. I stare at the wall in silence, and Gaz plays her video games.

“I can’t believe you’re still sitting here.”

I almost fell out of my seat, startled when she suddenly spoke up. She was always eerily quiet, and never acknowledged me. This couldn’t end well.

“Usually my stupid brother scares all the new kids away by now. But he hasn’t been around as much lately, so I guess you lucked out.”

As she spoke, she didn’t take her eyes off her game. It was more like she was talking at me than to me, but I was okay with that if it meant that I didn’t have to say anything back.

“Normally I don’t like talking to people, but you’re quiet and not as annoying as everyone else.”

I was alerted by the sound of screaming as I saw Gaz’s brother and the oddly green student come running into the cafeteria, fighting over a device of some sort. From a distance, I wasn’t 100% sure, but the green kid almost looked Irken. He made me uneasy, but I knew it couldn’t be possible. As far as I knew, Earth was so isolated from the rest of the universe that no one else even knew it existed. I was the only outsider to ever set foot on it. At least, that’s what I hoped.

“Oh, great. He’s back.” Gaz stated, deadpan.

I watched in morbid curiosity as her brother fought off the green kid, ultimately shoving his head into another kid’s tray of food, causing his skin to start burning. “Take that, alien scum!”

My antennae perked up. I was right, I wasn’t the only outsider. But strangely, this boy was the only one who seemed to notice. Unlike my disguise, the green boy looked very obvious. Yet somehow, no one else seemed phased by him.

I turned to Gaz, who was still ignoring everything that was going on. “Hey, uh… what does he mean by ‘alien?’” I asked.

The girl sighed. “Oh yeah, that’s Zim. He’s an alien and he wants to destroy the Earth. He’s really bad at it, though, so I don’t get why Dib tries so hard to stop him.”

At that moment, something in me snapped.

“Are you kidding?! Do you know what those guys are capable of?! You can’t show weakness for even a second!”

Gaz scowled. “Great. Another one. Maybe you should go hang out with my brother. If he’s got you to talk to, he’ll leave me alone.”

While her apathy was frustrating, she did make a good point. Why bother sitting around with her when I could be forming alliances to take down the Irken threat?

Of course, I had to be cautious. I didn’t know what Dib was capable of, either, so I’d need to keep my cover as a human. Maybe I’d reveal the truth to him in time, but… not yet…

There were a number of ways I could have smoothly and naturally approached him, but instead, I did this for some reason.

“Hey, alien hunting! Am I right?”

Dib looked confused for a second, but brushed it off. “Uh, yeah. Wait, you can tell?! Everyone else here is oblivious! Where have you been all this time?”

“I’m new here. I have… experience… with this sort of thing.”

The boy’s eyes lit up as he grabbed the hand of my ship and pulled me back over to the table Gaz and I were just sitting at. She rolled her eyes and scooted over, facing away from us.

“Tell me everything you know.” He said, pulling out a notepad and pen, rapidly clicking it in impatience.

I had to choose my words carefully, so the story I went with was that I had an undercover Irken invader at my old skool. Which wasn’t entirely a lie. I was in skool on my home planet when the invasion happened.

I gave him the story, but I left out a lot of the gory details. Partially because I didn’t want to out myself as a Lumin, but also because I really didn’t want to relive the trauma of the day my life fell apart.

“Whoa, that’s intense. Only one other Irken has ever come to Earth before that I know of, so I’m assuming it was her. She must’ve gone to other skools until she found ours. She came here on a revenge mission against Zim, but she definitely wasn’t against hurting other people in the process. She was a lot tougher than him, too. It’s a good thing she went missing out in space somewhere. I actually restored her old ship when it crash-landed in front of my house, so now I have access to Irken tech, which has been really helpful in foiling Zim’s plans. I… wish I knew how to use it better, but I’m slowly figuring it out.”

A human with Irken tech… That’s impressive, considering how primitive Earth seems to be in comparison.

“I wanna help you.” I said, catching him off guard. At first, he looked happy, but his smile quickly faded.

“What are you trying to get out of this?” He asked.

“I want every last trace of Irken filth wiped off the surface of this planet. If everything you’re telling me is true about you being the only person who knows what he’s up to, then that means I need you to make that possible.”

Impressively, I was actually able to intimidate him. He got up and took a couple steps back, giving me space, but his eyes remained fixated on the eyes of my ship.

“You’re… really serious about this… Well, so am I! Let’s take that creep down, uh… sorry, what’s your name?”

“It’s Bek. I already know you’re Dib, I’m in your scary sister’s class.”

I almost forgot Gaz was still at the table, listening to everything we were talking about. Well, I think she was only half listening, and was trying to tune us out. She didn’t have anything to say about my comment, and just growled in annoyance when I acknowledged her.

“Well then, Bek, welcome to the battle for Earth. It’s up to us take Zim down, and only when we work together will we be able to-”

“BE QUIET!” Gaz shouted, cutting off his monologue.

I haven’t been here very long, but I get the feeling that I already have both of them figured out. It puts me at ease just a little. They’re strange, sure, but I don’t feel afraid of them like I do with most bigger aliens. Of course, I’m still far from ready to reveal the truth, and I’m not sure I ever will be.

[vacantgodling]

15 10 Very Normal Questions

thank you @kaiusvnoir 😂 i’m kinda obsessed and will give weird answers no one asked for. open tag :) have fun with it lol

1. Do you prefer owls, capybaras, or flamingos?

THIS IS ACTUALLY PAINFULLY DIFFICULT but i’ll probably go capybaras i want what they have absolute ANGELS they are

2. What is your favorite soup?

i like deadass hate soup ngl (bc texture or lack thereof + liquids being salty is kind of :/ to me + my mom literally made soup almost every day growing up i am so sick of SOUP) however, cabbage soup that my mom makes is probably my favorite. it’s so comforting and she always makes it for me when i’m sick so idk nostalgia and feel good vibes.

3. What is your favorite…rock (idfk)?

funny story about rocks: my favorite type of rock (as in, how they’re formed) is igneous rocks. fire rocks >>> (i too wanted to be a geologist growing up lmao). in third grade a boy i was friends with went on vacation and brought me back an igneous rock—like literally got it checked out and everything to make sure it was—bc he knew i liked them, and asked me out lmao. as i am super awkward and he was just a good friend to me i turned him down (plus we were seven? tf lol) but it was probably one of the cutest ways i’ve ever been confessed to, only second to my partner and so so thoughtful.

jeffery if you see this, i wish i still had that rock but it got lost in a move. rip the dream but it was so sweet lol.

when it comes to crystals it’s a different story i’m a huge crystal hoarder but i don’t have the $$ to get as many as i’d like. sodalite is my favorite bc of the meanings associated with it; it’s kind of like my “personal rock” and i have several :)

4. Choose a familiar:

very dumb, very loving disobedient dog. He loves you but will never listen to you ever

a raven that speaks but it only ever shrieks the name of various fast food restaurants

a toad that screams like a teenage boy instead of croaks

probably the toad. i think that’d be funny as hell

5. Which planet do you feel like would be kind of an asshole if you met them?

NONE???? IM LOVE… SPACE….. (okay perhaps jupiter only by association with zeus/jupiter) HOWEVER…. They are Sweeties… my Beloveds….

6. if you were a worm would you love me? (@/ legiomiam)

i mean i voted worm in the bug race so yeth

7. Least favorite type of clothing?

most clothes are a sensory nightmare but anything that is scratchy or woolen or whatever it’s AWFUL

8. You are now in a horror movie-so sorry. Chance of survival?

genuinely depends on the type of horror move it is. if it’s any apocalypse sorry i’m killing myself i’m not dealing with that shit like not even remotely. serial killer eugh… it depends if it’s a supernatural one or a natural one. if natural i think odds are pretty good i like to think that since my natural adrenaline response is flight i would be going and going and going (like out the country probs). supernatural? sorry killing myself not doing it. anything torture porn-y i’m also offing myself— yknow i’m just gonna say odds are low bc i hate being uncomfortable so if given the opportunity i will off myself before i deal with nonsense.

9. Would you rather: the ability to instantly grow a perfect mustache, or ability to talk to vegetables?

mustache if it means i can grow facial hair generally speaking

10. What do you think of whales?

i think they’re gorgeous but i hate the ocean so i will appreciate from afar as nature intended.

[through-blue-eyes]

3.7.2024

I opened up my Facebook app intentionally, instead of the usual absentminded habit - my best friend since childhood had shared a post and it was for moments like this that I kept my Facebook active. For keeping up with her, and the people I care about. I'm the silent facebooker these days, I may share things but I haven't made a real post there in a while. It doesn't feel like a safe space anymore - anything you say can and will be used against you at a future date.  But I digress...

Confidence Cat was the post - a little Sunday mental health boost ❤️I checked my notifications and my memories popped up this photo. It spurred a tsunami wave of mixed emotions - defensive, tense, hurt, ashamed, guilty uncomfortable, alone and also freedom.

2019- 4, almost 5 now, years ago. I was living in a cheap motel with weekly rates - you can presume from that the type of crowd it drew, but for me, it was all I could afford, to keep a roof over my head. It was a in-between move. Although, I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t afraid I would be stuck there, and not make it out. I’d also be lying if I said I felt safe there, even though I wasn’t alone.

I was 7 months into working for this new company that opened up a couple restaurants in my area. I started at their BBQ place in April - with the intention of moving to the new steakhouse once it was ready to open. It opened beginning of July - I was making a 45 minute commute and I was sure that my car was going to crap out on me, so I made the call (with my boyfriend) to check into this motel, which was about 20 -25 blocks from work. The last week of July - my transmission went out, and fixing it was not an option. So I walked to work.

I was on evenings then, well, if you can call it evenings. I was salaried for  55 hours a week - I would leave my hotel room about 45 minutes before my shift started, giving myself plenty of time to walk to work, and rest for a few minutes before working my 10-11 hours as a sous. After the shift, which was grueling kitchen work, came the long, usually cold, walk home. Shower, sleep, repeat. I did this for three months. and that third month, October - I thought it was going to kill me. My legs and feet would swell and be so sore, so painful. I would lie awake for hours with my legs propped up once I got home, trying to get some relief so I could sleep. My days off were split at the time, and I think that's the only way I made it. I would work 2-3 days and then have a day off,  pretty much entirely spent in my bed, resting my legs/feet - and then go back for another 2-3 days.

I kept it a secret for as long as I could – I was ashamed, here I was, a few months from 26 – living in a known drug motel where the cops were called at least once a week - with no car, an unemployed boyfriend, and my 75lb reactive dog who didn’t have the space she needed. I was washing my uniform in the bathtub every night after I showered, and hanging it up above the AC/Heat unit so the air would have it dry by morning. Ontop of the swelling and pain in my legs, the weather was getting colder. Walking to work wasn’t so bad – it was actually perfect weather usually, but the walks home, after dark, and often raining, that’s when I could no longer keep it a secret.

I had a close work relationship with my boss - he was my work husband – and once he figured out my situation and what I was doing, he took it upon himself to talk to his bosses, the owners of the restaurant about my car situation, me walking. They told me to start looking for a used car (face book marketplace) and they would buy it, and then hold out $100 from each of my paychecks until it was paid off. In the meantime, the owners arranged for me to always have a ride home from work – the first night my boss gave me a ride home, once he saw the motel I was at, he didn’t want to leave – he didn’t feel as if I was safe there, even though I had my boyfriend and dog.

It was a blessing at the time, I felt humbled, and (I didn't realize at the time how much this would set me up for toxicity) I felt like I owed them a debt. Because they bought me this car. Within a month after getting the car, I was promoted to Chef – my boss had a health issue & personal choices that resulted in him taking FMLA, and not coming back. The pay increase allowed me to move out of that motel, into an apartment about 10 minutes from work. At the time I remember feeling so relieved. Grateful. Loyal. Empowered, as if life was finally in my favor. As if I was finally aligned with my purpose. The hard part must be over now. It actually, was the farthest thing from.

 Many things happened while I was employed with that company, I might turn it into a  multi-post series one day - not all of them good. But in the same breath, that job set me up to eventually break free from the toxic and abusive (emotionally, mentally) relationship I had with my (then) boyfriend, of 5 years - spoiler, I was with him for 2 more before finally leaving him. Everything had to crumble, fall, break, be rebuilt and then destroyed again before I finally broke free of those cycles.

I have truly come a long way – in the same breath though I’ve been stuck, because I don’t know what to do next. I don’t really know how to live a free life – I find myself disassociating a lot. Escaping. The life I have now doesn’t always feel safe – because the first 28 years of my life was filled with so much trauma. So many toxic relationships – family & romantic, and my own toxic behavior that I have to unlearn.

One thing I do know though. I know I want to write. I know I want to share my story, my voice. After so many years of being silenced. Imposter syndrome is a real bitch though – so I will continue cultivating this safe place. My small corner of the web where my story, thoughts, opinions will be told, unfiltered, and raw.