#there’s never a dull moment with them

[call-me-maggie13]

What’s it like working in a male-dominated environment where everyone is between the ages of 17 & 24? I’m so glad you asked.

“Hey, how do I professionally tell [district manager] this ain’t it, Chief?” - my 19yr old site manager

“Bug race. Bug race. Bug race. Bug race.” - this chant went on for 40 minutes while they scoured for bugs to race in a maze they’d built

“Is my [literally anything] supposed to do this? {proceeds to show themselves doing something that they definitely should not be able to do} It kinda hurts when I do.”

[random screaming]

“What would happen if I ate this?”

{new guy tries to be chivalrous and hold the door for me} “dude, why’d you do that?”

“Because gentlemen hold the doors for ladies?”

“Man, she ain’t a lady. She’s Maggie. Doesn’t count.”

“Pulp fiction isn’t even a good movie.” - this got me kicked out of the group chat for three weeks

In the group chat: [monkey meme] [monkey gif] [monkey stock photo] [monkey trivia fact] [monkey video] [link to monkey video on YouTube] “munky munky”

“Maggie, my girl is mad at me and I can’t figure out why.”

“are you asking her bc she’s a girl?”

“No dude, I’m asking her bc she’s smarter than us.”

“I don’t think I’m straight. Have you seen Ryan Reynolds? Yeah… I don’t know anymore.”

“Did you know the new soap dyes your hands Barbie pink?” [holds up bright pink hands] cause I just found out!”

[more on the previous one] “bro that’s not Barbie pink, that’s fuschia!”

“No it’s not!” {argues back and forth before new guy joins in}

“I think it’s more of a periwinkle.”

“Bro, periwinkle is a purple. Have you never looked at a color before in your life?”

[random projectile flies past my head] “shit! Incoming!”

[random push-up contest]

“Do you think my dog knows I would die for her?”

“You guys know when [vague hand movement] just kinda [even vaguer hand movement] and you just [weird and vague hand movement]?”

“Bro, yes.”

“What were you listening to in your car when I pulled up?” [proudly] “the cheetah girls, bro!”

“Do you think I could take a badger in a fight?”

[random period of absolute silence that either lasts forever or is ended by a random scream]

[someone finds a stick] “you shall not pass”

“You are what you eat, right?”

“Bro what? We’re talking about baseball.”

After the entire staff had heard about me making friendship bracelets for the Taylor Swift concert, I had 4 (out of 6) of them ask me to make them one.

“Do you ever just [like two minutes of complete silence], ya know?”

“I don’t think meeting God could even compete, dude.” - I have no context for this statement

“Sometimes, I just [heavy sigh] and sometimes it’s enough.”

“I need new songs to scream in my car.” [shows them Cruel Summer and DBATC by Taylor Swift] “Dude, make me a playlist. I need more songs like these!”

[loud clattering] “Oh shit. Don’t tell, [manager].”

Manager : “what’d you break?”

“Who decided our company mascot should be a pigeon?”

Manager gives vague answer about corporate and how we’re a car wash so it makes sense.

“Well, they’re dumb. I think our mascot should be a racecar.”

“Do you think I would get workers comp if I had a mental breakdown?”

“No.”

“Damn. Imma reschedule it for my day off then. Hey, [manager], can I have two days off back to back next week?”

“Do I get commission for the customers I scare away?”

“That’s the opposite of how commission works.”

“Well, I’m up to three today.”

[random old guy makes a comment about how women shouldn’t try to do a man’s job] “dude, acting like a dick doesn’t make yours any bigger.”

“Does anyone wanna watch Barbie’s Princess and the Pauper with me on Tuesday?” [everyone said yes] - we’re going to see the new Barbie movie together for “team bonding”

“Did you know that if you do this [proceeds to do some weird flippy thing that makes him fall], you can bruise all your ribs at the same time?”

After seeing a video of Taylor Swift diving into the stage at the Eras Tour : “dude, it’s a really good thing she’s a singer and not a swimmer because that was a bellyflop.”

“Wait. Is Hozier a lesbian?” - I have no context for this question

“If I was a worm, you guys would still play COD with me right?”

“No. We’d lose.”

“We could team up against him and beat his worm-ass!”

“Shit yeah! Then yes.”

[random dancing]

“I wanna jump in that puddle…”

“then jump in it?”

“Ok bet” [spends the last five minutes of his shift splashing in a mud puddle]

“Dude, my [12 year old] sister just got dumped by her boyfriend, what do I do?”

“Take her on a date, dude. I take my sisters out all the time because they should know how a dude should treat them.”

[random trauma dumping] “but yeah, lmao, right?”

Me: [chillin] [randomly gets picked up and carried] - this is an action I have approved, it is both hilarious and fun

“Don’t be weird about it, bro.”

“I’m not gunna be weird about it, bro.” [proceeds to be absolutely weird about it]

“What’s your favorite candy?” [tells them] [receives a two pound bag of my favorite candy the next day] “I’m sorry I yelled at you last week.”

[after he was invited to a party with drugs & alcohol] “My therapist said I shouldn’t do that anymore. It’s shit for my mental health.”

“Okay, bro. We can just play COD instead.”

[randomly tackling each other in the grass]

“Dude, I love you so much, bro. You’re an awesome guy to be friends with.” [proceeds to smack each other back and forth for like three minutes straight]

[complaining about how his seven-month-old is going through a sleep regression and he hasn’t slept more than two hours in a week] “dude, that sucks. I can ask my mom for tips, if you want?”

[random video clip sent in group chat] “wait, Maggie don’t watch that” [watches it anyways] “bro, that’s a video of you and your cat playing peek-a-boo, why couldn’t I watch that?” - I never got a response

[quiet giggling] manager: “what are you doing?”

“Nothing!” - they were hiding his clipboard

“Bro, Taylor Swift probably wrote a song about it.”

“That was literally so homophobic, it’s homoerotic.”

[in the group chat] “Y’all, I have news.” [all but one person responds asking about it] “I wanna wait until everyone responds” [four hours later, the last person responds asking about it] [ten minutes of silence] “oh, yeah. I’m gay.” - this man has been out for over a decade. Everyone already knew. This was not news.

[random tiktok link] [random tiktok link] [random tiktok link]

“Does anyone know how to use epilepsy?”

“Epilepsy? The seizure thing?”

“No the three dots.”

“Bro, that’s ellipsis.”

“I thought that was the exercise machine.”

“No, that’s an elliptical.” - I know this is a tiktok trend now, but this entire conversation was dead serious

“Do I need to go to the hospital if I got bit by a squirrel?” [everyone yells at him to go to the ER] [someone asks how he got bit by a squirrel] “I wanted to know if they were as fluffy as they look.” - he has confirmed that they are, indeed, as fluffy as they look but you most certainly should never attempt to pet a squirrel

“Bro look at this” [picture of something brutal and gory] “isn’t that cool?”

“I think I could be a professional driver.”

“Didn’t you break your axel by hitting a curb?”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t drive.”

[bluesylveon2]

Ace: my ex girlfriend was boring

Also Ace: falls for a magicless girl who is a beast tamer, lives in an old dorm, and has dealt with seven overblots within a year

[em-prentiss]

Currently thinking about Emily buying groceries for Hotch in the months after Haley dies. She gets them along with hers and silently drops them off in front of his door before ringing the bell and hurrying to the end of his hall before he opens the door. She buys snacks for Jack and sneaks in a Spider-Man toy or two, grabs a packet of chamomile tea to soothe the inevitable late nights. Lots of frozen foods and ready made meals. She writes down a list of her favorite low maintenance recipes and provides the ingredients for them, always things that can be cooked in a single pan and could last for days. Sometimes she orders them pizza and sends it to the apartment, already knowing Hotch’s order because of all the times they’d had to eat together on cases.

He knows it’s her. One time he saw her through his window, walking to her car and looking over her shoulder. He wants to thank her but he doesn’t know how; she never acknowledges it and he doesn’t know how to bring it up, feeling strangely shameful for having owed her so much. She doesn’t want him to thank her and she doesn’t want to acknowledge it, she just wants to know him and Jack are eating well.

One day she complains about wanting a snack and he buys her a bar of chocolate, but before she can thank him, he’s the one to say thank you. He’s quiet, he doesn’t really meet her eyes until she takes it, his suit too stuffy and his hands a little sweaty. When he finally looks up she smiles at him, makes a sort of joke about him thanking her when it should be the other way around, and for the first time in months, Hotch smiles at someone other than Jack.

[interstellarlyinlove]

Bonfire (October 3rd)

word count: 512

@wolfstarmicrofic

“Wow.”

“You do know a spot, Remus.”

“How did you even find this place?” Sirius asks, eyeing Remus curiously. 

Remus coughs. “I just found it one time. I like to walk.”

“In the Forbidden Forest?” asks Peter, setting his bag and what is hopefully a big enough tent for all of them against a tree. 

“Sure,” Remus says.

“This is beautiful,” Sirius says. “The lake water is so clear.”

“I’d love to take someone on a date here,” James says.

“Do let us down gently, James,” Sirius says, pinching James’ forearm. 

“You know what I mean!”

“Sure,” Remus says again. “Let’s start a bonfire to keep warm. And no magic.”

“What?” James asks. 

“You said you wanted to camp in the Forbidden Forest for a night like muggles do, yes?”

James nods. 

“Part of the camping experience is that it has to suck a little bit.”

Peter nods his head, but both James and Sirius stare at Remus funny.

“Suck a little bit?” James repeats. 

“More like suck a lot-a-bit,” Peter says. “I remember camping with my cousins once and it was appalling. We almost got eaten by a bear. Thankfully, there are no bears here.”

“Only much worse creatures,” James says softly. “Whose idea was this, again?”

“Yours,” Remus says. 

“After you saw that camping advert in that muggle magazine you stole from Lily, remember?” Sirius says. 

“I gave it back. That’s not stealing.”

Sirius snorts. “Okay.”

“Let’s get everything in order before the sun completely sets,” Peter says. 

“Yes, that’s smart,” Remus says, picking up their tent. “Someone help me set this up and the other two can–”

“I want to set up the tent with you,” Sirius says, then flushes. “I mean–”

“Sure,” Remus says for the millionth time, feeling his neck heat up. 

“Anyway,” James drawls, grinning. Remus is going to smack him. “Let’s go collect some wood for the fire, Pete.”

Sirius smiles as he walks closer to Remus. He takes the not-yet tent out of Remus’ hands and starts eyeing it carefully. “Do you know how to get one of these up?”

Remus nods. Then he coughs. “I mean, we have the instructions manual over there so how hard can it really–”

“I’d love to take you on a date here,” Sirius says suddenly. “We could go swimming.”

Whatever the thing between Remus and Sirius is, it’s new and fragile and Remus holds it protectively close to his heart.

Remus smiles, meeting Sirius’ eyes. “I don’t know how to swim.”

“No.”

Remus nods. “Yeah.”

“I can totally teach you how to swim.” Sirius pauses. “Take off your shirt.”

Remus laughs. “Yeah, sure.”

Sirius laughs as well. “Okay, that wasn’t too forward at all. Maybe next time?”

Remus is about to respond when Peter and James come back with way too much firewood. He grins at Sirius and mentally puts a pin in it. Everything is new and exciting but Remus reminds himself that it’s not going anywhere. They have so much time and that makes him feel a type of pure elation he can barely describe.

[buttercup-barf]

Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.

Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.

That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.

The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.

Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.

Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.

[tickles-tea]

At some point, the younger spiders TOTALLY ganged up on Miguel. Those four are way too chaotic not too, especially with Peter B. and Lyla around to egg them on.

As much as I love my faves getting bullied, I do sort of feel for Miguel because all of those spiders would be menaces lolol

I like to think that a VERY good long while into the future, they’d all be comfortable enough to mess around with him like that, with Peter B. introducing them to the idea and being the instigator ofc

And even with Miguel being as strong as he is, he’s no match for four or five other spidermen (especially bc he doesn’t want to hurt them and maybe doesn’t mind them having their fun as much as he says he does)

I can just imagine Peter B. getting all the younger spiders together like “Okay, team, as I’m sure you all have noticed, our strong and noble leader has been especially prickly lately. Which is why I’m initiating Miguel destress protocol 4! AKA tickle him until he agrees to go take a nap…or until his threats get a little less violent and mutilate-y…eh, we’ll figure it out as we go. Let’s go, team!”

[sqxishyslime]

I present to you:

Out of Context Shin!Snork Moments.

[deducemyheart]

Cecil while chatting with a zookeeper on air: I’ve learned a lot of neat things while wearing a blindfold

Listeners of Night Vale:

[juanitasupreme]

Mind you Mel C outed them in 2012 already

[photmath]

Searching up Kylian on Twitter is like going down a rabbit hole, and suddenly an hour passes and you’re on conspiracy pages translating Arabic and French 😂

[selunesfavouriteprincess]

I love flirting with Neve directly in front of her ex situationship

[unladielike]

*jumps over hole in sidewalk* "Yeah you could say I’m pretty fucking athletic." [from the wy from here ]

          POPULAR TEXT POSTS PART 4. » still accepting!

    "Next time, try actually falling into the hole," Vivian jokingly suggests with evident amusement seeping through her voice. Of course, she didn't want Wylan to take her advice for real, but with how off-brand her humour was, she couldn't resist poking fun at him a little. "I would very much like to see what would happen afterwards!"

    No sooner does she finish speaking, however, Vivian would abruptly pause, because by that point, she realizes the word 'hole' had very naughty implications... but upon not wanting Wylan to discover her mind was in the actual gutter, she'll quickly cough against a raised fist while hoping to dear god he didn't somehow notice she was thinking something dirty.

    "Er... yeah, anyways, that was quite the impressive leap, Wiles! How many times did you practice jumping over that one before you executed your amazing parkour skills in front of me?" Little by little, sarcasm would then practically ooze off her words, making it rather apparent her flattery was nowhere near sincere.

@dcviated

[peachzin]

feel like that pic of roy mustang sitting at his desk under the moonlight holding a glass of alcohol with the pic of maes on his desk as he stares wistfully into nothing rn

[sunsetandthemoon]

lmao thank you for your service on the earthmix post, whether its a somewhat pr guided story or simply how they are, they are at the very least entertaining and honestly if only all fighting co-workers/friends would vague tweet melodramatic heartbreak lyrics the world would be a better place :') hopefully we'll get to see them in another show at some point

Yeah, it’s always tricky to know what’s actually real in the sea of fan service and PR (almost nothing is lbr) but EarthMix’s love language seems to be constant bickering and they did genuinely look like they were going through it, so it’s not that far-fetched to believe that one of their quarrels went a bit too far and resulted in this messy fight.

I don’t think any of it was fabricated, they’re really just that dramatic and had to make it everyone’s problem lmao like pls the drama of it all 😭

EarthMix’s crash course on how to deal with getting into a fight with your bestie:

sit down and talk it out with them (like the adults that you’re supposed to be) ❌

start being melodramatic on main and post vague tweets about them (and continue doing it for months on end until your poor manager finally has enough, locks you in a room, and forces you two to talk) ✅

All jokes aside, they never once let their fight affect their work and they remained strictly professional and delivered stellar performances, so I think they should’ve been allowed to be as messy as they wanted on Twitter dsfhjsdkf

[baeshijima]

i hope we get more of their group dynamic in like event quests or side quests bc theyre so cute and i love the fact they all have their own preferences for being alone but can find solace and enjoyment with each other

[monsamborabutterfly]

This will never not be iconic...my poor chaos baby😂 to be fair I also bear voices in my head telling me Khao is cute so that's that