#there’s NO fucking CARTS HERE
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i wish i could find any fucking carts/dispos in charlotte bc then i wouldn’t have to try so fucking hard to hide a 75cl bottle of booze from my family & pretending to be sober when i could PRETEND to be inhaling NICOTINE
#stream#like#i just wish i had weed#there’s NO fucking CARTS HERE#I DONT WANT DELTA8 I DONT WANT THC-O or THC-P or WHATEVER THR FUCK WE’RE ON NOW I JUST WANT SOME FUCKIN WED#WEED#WËD#where is IT why aren’t there ANY in THE CAROLINAS#IT FUCKIN SUCKS HERE#NO WONDER EVRYONE IS SLAMMING 😭😭😭😭#i refuse to get trainspotty#like u can smell alcohol if it’s just … in the glass#bc i’m drinking straight gin yall i was like ‘teehee it looks like water’ but i completely#forgot abt the smell bc even kp & omar were like ‘u literally always smell#like alcohol’ ALSKALKSALJSLAJSLAJSLKS#WHEN I WAS FULL ALCHY#LIKE YEA I BET BC I NEED EVERCLEAR EVERY FEW HOURS OR I WILL START SWEATING & SHAKING
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thinking once again about the insinuation that Oscar might have been taken to an asylum after attacking McKenna, and that he might have stayed there until he aged out of the system, seeing as he never returned to the orphanage
#I don’t know much of the mental health facilities at the time but Jesus Christ think about it for a second it’s possible#and fucking heartbreaking#I know it’s probably more likely that “I was carted away” is intended to mean jail but fuck man it was the 1900s#they weren’t known for their stellar attitudes towards mental health#The angst possibilities here are fucking endless christ he was a KID#malevolent#malevolent podcast#oscar malevolent
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So holy shit, just had a commenter apologise for getting excited and commenting on a bunch of my fics, thinking they were being annoying for doing it on works that were so old.
My dude, the oldest one was posted just over a YEAR ago.
Like christ on a cracker, wrapping my head around this mentality genuinely hurts. I still get the fleeting, odd comment on stuff that I posted to an FF.net account I abandoned in 2008. I'm still posting stuff to the same fandom that this commenter is reading fics from! I literally posted something within the last month!
I get that the consumerism of fanworks has taken over fandom spaces entirely. I get it, but fuck me if I detest it dearly. If something's not sitting on the front page of a tag, it's just considered dead, and I hate it.
Not to be all old man yells at cloud, but the way being a part of any sort of fandom space means playing a number game from hell these days is honestly the worst feeling. We're not in it for the numbers! We never were! The numbers are the smallest pip of serotonin on our radar compared to actual feedback and comments.
When this person first came into my inbox, and I saw a string of four of five email notifs come in to say I'd received a new comment, my dudes, I CRIED. Teared up like a bitch, because that's something that's so rare and beautiful and I've never seen it happen before. I honestly felt so blessed and warm and fuzzy. The fact this person took the time out of their day to read it and tell me the parts they liked, tell me they passed a couple of these fics onto others, just tell me a solemn thank you for writing what I do...
THAT'S WHAT I WRITE FOR.
No, I don't crave praise. No, it doesn't fill my ego.
It's about putting something out there into the void and hearing an echo finally. It's about standing up on stage and waiting for someone in the audience to make any sort of response other than cough and shuffle out the door. It's about knowing we've hit some sort of emotional response in our readers, because that's the ONLY way we know what we're doing is working. It's the ONLY way we know how to improve.
It just... it makes me so sad to know that we're only ever seen as products these days, not people. I love creating. I love being able to write, but it just hurts so much when it feels like no one else out there cares, you know?
Because that's what fandom culture is these days.
It honestly feels like no one cares, and fans are actively apologising for existing.
Like what the fuck went wrong along the way to nurture this mentality and how do we surgically remove it with a chainsaw.
#irl Cart#writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writing community#creative writing#AO3#Cart writes#i was just so STOKED that day y'alls don't even know#and then getting that comment today just felt. hollowing.#tried to articulate and educate as best as i could at the time#but yeah#you have no idea how much it hurts unless you're a creator as well#fucking hate it here hey 🙃
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My kid has started a Nintendo games phase so I told them to dig out all the old consoles and games at my parents house and they brought back an entire box of goodies.
Here's a few gems
But the most sacred of relics they brought me was this !!!!!!
#wow i was a nerd fr#so much yugioh in here#i hope i can find my other digivice and see if they still work when you connect them#digimon#yugioh#Nintendo#pokémon#gameboy#digivice#old games#old consoles#the podracing game really brought me back#can't believe the game cart actually needed a battery it's wild#also i played the Fuck outta that sonic game#and toy story lol
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WHY DOES HE SPIN HIM LIKE THAT LMFAO I’M LAUGHING SO HARD
cuz why would he wanna spin him around if he wasn’t checking him out 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
#bowuigi#mario movie#luigi#smb#super mario#bowser#super mario movie#guys……#i’m onto something here#i’m not ready to see the movie in theaters and it’s not as gay as everyone thought 😭😭😭#i just want bowser to have a redeption arc in a future movie and they can like hold hands and ride off in a cart into the sunset or whatever#is that so much to ask#imagine a luigi’s mansion movie but bowser fucking shows up#and defeats king boo with him and they kiss at the end or something#the fact that charlie day wants to do a luigi’s mansion movie is just SO !!!!!#LET HIM COOK FR !!!!!#i love charlie day as luigi i think it’s perfect casting#same with jack black#if you read this far into my tags you deserve government compensation#because what am i even talking about LMAO
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thinking about feeding you a gummy and the rest of the vodka and making you eat me out on the couch. im so sensitive from the past couple nights that i cant even touch myself, that even just the fabric of my shorts brushing against me is too much, but your mouth is so warm and your tongue so soft that i think that i could take it. the couch is at the perfect height that i could make you sit pretty on your knees on the ground in front of me while i force you to taste me. maybe if you're a good bitch for me we plug in the vibrator for you to hold between your legs so i can feel you moan into my pussy
#wishing to be the friction in your jeans#k whines#i want you cross faded and with that pretty fucked out look on your face#ftm nsft#ftm sub#ftm t4t#t4t nsft#dom hours#maybe if we pick up the new carts for the vape when even your soft litte mouth gets too much for me i can yank you away by your hair just to#hold the vape to your mouth. get you even more fucked up for me.#its our last night here baby#want to make the most of it?#them 🥰#intox
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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in honor of the tpot short with the failed debuters (assumedly) being announced soon heres my tierlist of all the tpot debuters most favorite to least
tags for longer opinions :3
#i dont really hate any of them and avocado is just down there because I kind of enjoy everyone else more . The only I feel like . Any kind+#+of Real negativity at all to are nonexisty and 9ball#nonexisty because fuck off and 9ball because that’s just 8ball but different gimmick . And 8ball is already not the best imo#tpot#happy taggy got in bc they n winner were my favorites . I have my reaction to taggy getting in recorded I love taggy a lot#what can I say im a :3 girl#i like leek because it’s a plant also they put a hatsune miku ref in the episode with the flip phone triple baka#pda is a device which is always awesome forever and it looks like theyr gonna have a role in the short which is :DDDDDD#onigiri is fun because it’s a fun romaji . it would also be funny if they called em jelly donut . but onigiri is cool they look like+#+a rocky clone Maybe or if they’re just mute hey I Really Like Mute Characters So Win. cause I Think they were the only one who didn’t+#+speak in the episode . Don’t take my word for it I haven’t watched tpot 1 in a while lol (I think boom mic didn’t speak either actually)#boom mic; clapboard; and camera I speak as 3 together . Theyre super awesome and it would be fun to see if they have a dynamic . Cuase+#+theyre like . All movie equipment . Idk I remember long back ago i roleplayed em they mean a lot to me#i like tha vhsy a little more because reminds me of that freak from TAOT who i just adore . Also novel rectangular thing also kind of prett#tape friend looks like a menace and I like characters that are menaces I think them and six could be friends#sink I just like the design of lol . also I like the song kitchen sink by tøp#salt lamp is cool because I like salt lamps and they’re pretty colors both on and off#shopping cart is silly . I like wheeled characters#blender is an appliance I like how they did the asset#discy’s prettyyyy colored#battery is small and cute they also might be the mute character idr I haven’t seen them talk personally . Feel free to correct me if any+#+info I say here is wrong btw#Snare drum is small and cool and I like how they look#Anchor is also I like how they look also listen to anchor by caize#shell is like emo and a good shape#rubber spatula; scissors; tax guy I forget their name; and shampoo I think have good designs#avocado im so sorry I just like everyone else more than u im not the biggest fan ever of things like donut mouth#and I already explained the last 2 awesome 👍
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#VENT#VENT TAGS AHEAD !!#so the job is...awful.#i applied for 20-25 hours#they asked if i could do 30#and now theyre pushing me into 40.#i didn't realize that when i agreed to 30 that was NOT binding (i should have known because it wasn't in my job offer. but i am 19 and--#ive never had a job offer letter before. even tho this is just retail)#and i can't adjust my availability for 90 days.#and since i put full availability expecting 25 hours max#now i have FULL 24/7 AVAILABILITY ON FILE for three months at least#and i have no idea what to do because this means i cant commit to any classes coming up for college#but ive been job hubting for months and barely got anything#and if i lose the job i have to move back in with my dad which is almost worse#whats wirse is my leader/boss is so mean. im not saying this lightly#i dont want to get into it but im barely a week in and he's made disrespectful and pushy comments towards me#has basically told me to stay late (which theoretically i cluld say no; but im still on my three months of 'we will fire you if we want to'#and like i said. need the job.#so he told me to stay late knowing i cant really say no#he's given me a frankly absurd amount of work (instock and i get carts filled woth 2-3x their max capacity unorganized and dangerously--#overloaded) and then he pushes me and snaps at me to get it done in an absurdly short timeframe while im still in TRAINING#im afab and present femme as i haven't transitioned irl and he is so ragingly sexist#he often just refers to me and the other girl being trained as 'girl' or 'that girl#and to top it all off#i took this job over a second interview at a place i really liked#because i thought the hours at this olace would be more consistent#nope! full time! surprise!!#and now im kicking myself so fucking hard over it. i feel like i fucked up so hard#and my friend i moved here with has been home for two months and will be this month so im just. alone. and i don't really have anyone to#turn to. im just so very stressed and tired and lonely
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they should invent a me that doesnt hurtttt
#i wanna take a hot bath but my aunt just put a shit ton of biofreeze on my back and that will hurt like hell#if i lay down in the bath. and i only rly wanna soak my legs anyway bc they hurt soooo bad today but sitting up w my back out of the water#will hurt my hips. also im having balance issues today + i dont trust myself not to get super lightheaded n need help if i took a bath#also im on the clock LMAO not that literally anything has happened my whole shift. not even a phone call#ive been sitting here watching mindless baking shows bc no brain spoons or body spoons#so thank god for a shift where jackshit happens but i want!!! to read a book but i canf bc my brain is too fucked rn#<- from doing too much physical activity i might add. which is dumb as HELL#like wdym i walked around the grocery store instead of using one of those little driving carts#and now my brain doesnt fucking work? make it make sense#okay anyway ranting time over. wait also i have to do laundry and will have to change my clothes+pillowcase at least from laying on them#w so much biofreeze on. and ive needed to do laundry all week GRRRR someone shld destroy the concept of laundry i hate clothes#anyway i hope u have all enjoyed my complaints list i hope god sees it and magically like gives me a basket of clean folded laundry while#i sleep tonight or like makes the chronic pain less chronic and less painful. one can hope
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at work for less than 10 min and already started to cry which is like really cool and normal
#speaking#i need my testosterone desperately#i hate this fucking job i wont have any pto accrual until january#i need a new fucking job im applying to everywhere#my phone didnt charge and i forgot my keys at home and theres not a freezer cart prepped#and i hate this job i hate this job id rather be anywhere else but here#work posting
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The visual storytelling of why there is a literal dent in my shin rn
#puffer talks#the dent is still there#add about idk 50 pounds of groceries to the cart here#it went backwards somehow when it was going over the tactical texture bumps#funny thing is i was joking about falling and breaking my teeth on the cart#for some reason#i also busted my ass on ice two days ago#so i think i might not have legs by the end of next week#had to look up the actual store cart because it has fhis fucking bar on it
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Me trying to be normal at work vs the concession speech making me cry like a bitch
#not snz#like i knew it was over but that was the final straw i guess#there's nothing going on so we were watching it and my ass broke down in tears#tbh part of it might be bc i didn't fucking sleep 😔#emotions always malfunction when I'm tired#but I'm genuinely so upset about it and i live in a blue state#like yeah i know I'm lucky but it still feels fucking awful#how the hell did that orange fuck win by over five million#hate it here 😭#taking a few minutes to walk around and collect myself before going back to the golf cart 😔#i fucking hate crying in front of other people but god sometimes it just can't be helped#I'm just so upset like i figured he'd win but not in a landslide like that 😭
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Company: "Idk why we cant seem to keep people!"
*not pictured is company deliberately renovating the store and reverting back to older systems (both literally and figuratively) and requiring things like baggers while not hiring people to be baggers and making people who werent hired to bag, bag, and driving good workers away because of it*
#im so sick of bagging i could scream like why do you keep making me do it when im literally throwing people's groceries into their carts#AND im one of your best cashiers like make it make sense????#im not even being arrogant about being one of the best theres a fucking board with everyone on it and im top 3 SO WHY AM I BAGGING#i need a job so bad so i dont wanna quit without finding a new one but i just might#guarantee its because im younger like idgaf thats not a reason to have me bag but also im almost 30 IM NOT THE YOUNGEST PERSON HERE
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With it being the driest year on record here + all the forest fires + the heat wave, it's absolutely impossible to spend any time outside without suffering with all the smoke and low humidity
#it's 34°C here and 17% humidity please end my suffering#some places in the country are reaching 45°C. absolute HELL#i'm dreading the week at my job bc like. the heat fucks up everyone with chronic illness. the smoke fucks up all the asthmatics#dry air is terrible for your nose and eyes. dehydration worsens any common cold. it's a nightmare#many of my patients work outside and some of them pull carts full of recyclable materials all day in the sun#with the amount of particulate material suspended in the air we might be seeing the effects of it during the next weeks. even months#i need to buy a HEPA filter...... it's so expensive tho
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fuck man this fucking minotaur is kicking my ass
#ultrakill#the moment i stepped on the little cart i went Oh no not This Again out loud#these are my least favourite types of battles i am fighting for my fucking life here
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