#there will be a great hurt but for now - i want them to be happy at least for a moment

[detritusanddross]

The reframing of this moment post finale has still got me in a chokehold.

When we first saw Rio’s reaction in this scene, the resulting meta was glorious and on point; here is a woman who intimately knows the harm done to her former partner by her mother’s cruelty, who can see the instant destabilising effect of Evanora’s words on Agatha and knows it will take a lot of work to undo this most recent emotional harm.

All of this is still true.

But knowing now that Rio was also Nicky’s mother? And that she herself had stood at a crossroads to decide whether or not he would die the moment he left Agatha’s body?

The depth of it all kills me.

Taking the dead from this plane is not just Rio’s job, but the very reason for her existence. When Agatha was in labour, Rio knew Nicky’s time was up and that she had no choice but to do the job she was made for. She appeared before Agatha at the last possible moment, reluctance written in every line of her face and body. Despite not wanting to hurt Agatha—or to take the son they made together away before he could take his first breath—in all her eons I don’t think she had ever once considered the possibility of not doing her job. After all, the river flows in a single direction.

But it is Agatha’s nature to fight inevitability; to bargain and to beg. And Agatha, despite or because of her upbringing amongst such hatred, well, Agatha loves.

And Rio learned to love her back as she has no other being in the history of time. Rio bends the rules to her will like Agatha taught her. All rivers have eddies and she weaves a safe space out of her own love to give their son time.

Agatha is the first person Rio has ever loved and Nicky was quite possibly the first person she ever fought for. And in this scene, Evanora’s ghost is saying she should have destroyed both of them before Rio had a chance to know either? Had Evanora murdered Agatha when she was a baby, Rio would have unknowingly been forced to carry her only chance at happiness into the realms of the dead.

“I ought to have killed you the moment you left my body.” Death would spit at her feet but that would make her think she has power here.

One day that ghost will die and I smile at the thought of what Rio is going to do to her.

In that last gif: Rio’s averted gaze full of so much hurt and that little head shake—the way it looks as if she’s breathing down against the rising bile of what-ifs and maybes—yeah, this right here is what great stories are made of. Layers upon layers of history between characters that we are lucky enough to have a chance to expericence.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank @ngatwa and all the other gifmakers who allow us to continue exploring scenes like this after a show is over. Fandom owes gifmakers everything.

Mom? Why do you hate me still?

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm using the word "ridiculous" a lot

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Dec 2024 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Your Sky (Sun iQIYI) ep 5 of 12 - OMG they’re so fucking cute I can’t stand it. It’s too much. Everyone is adorable. Including the father. (That said, I wouldn’t recommend watching Naughty Babe with your dad. That’s a big leap there, cutie pie.) The 10 minutes of holding hand negotiation and then finally walking together across campus was truly fucking fantastic. This show is GLORIOUS. Now we also know when it finally does move from dreams to reality, that these two can kiss.

Actual name of this show?

How to Train Your Seme

Speaking of names, Fah's brother, whose name I forget, is now going to referred to by me as Sarcastic Cupid. Because that is his role in this narrative. I love him very much.

On a completely different note, and I know this is not that kind of show, but this is me so I have to say it, if these two ever do have sex it’s gonna take them hours. They just gonna spend half the night negotiating. Which is kind of tantric, but my goodness would they even make it into bed?

ThamePo (Fri YT) ep 2 of 12 - i just love this show!!!! so happy to have this one my screen. The dads have to save the little musical family! So cute! And illegally pretty.

Love Sick 2024 (Sun iQIYI) ep 14 of 15 - They substantially took steps to fix Phun‘s dad character in the new version and I really like that a lot. I'm chronicling my experience with 2024 as compared to 2014 here. 

Caged Again (Fri Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - Why is this absurd show so damn good? When Sun has to beg it’s just too much. It’s too sweet and aching and hurtful and wonderful. Catnip = the sex herb trope was not anything I’ve ever thought I would see in my lifetime. Okaaay now. Relax little show. Too far.

Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 12 of 16 - The extended version is clearly better. But I’m not gonna bother to pay for it. Again, I’m liking the new couple more and more each week. I still prefer the first couple of course cause Pond but it’s enjoyable enough.

Note: I'm super grateful for those posting them as clips here on the hellsite. Because man can these boys kiss!

The Heart Killers (Weds Gaga) ep 4 of 12 - this show is so entirely and utterly ridiculous. I don’t even know what to do with it or myself. Or what to say. Carry on, I guess?

Also I don't know what GMMTV is smoking to tease this one, but I'll take a hit next time they pass the BL bong.

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT?) ep 7 of 24 - I am living for Pond & Sand. they are pretty much all I care about. Yes including the upcoming couples. I just want pond sand. sure the main couple was fine it was a perfectly serviceable ending to their arc such as it was. All in all I enjoyed this episode big smile on my face most of the time.

Secret Love (????) 1-60 of 81 eps - Someone dropped a cut together of episodes one through 60, and I actually quite enjoyed it. It’s a total soap opera and very much a pulp. But I kind of love that right now. Frankly, 1-60 is a completed story arc. If you want that. I will probably watch the whole thing if anybody ever uploads it or it turns up grey anywhere. But this was quite satisfying. Ridiculous but charming fluff about two stepbrothers, who aren’t really stepbrothers, who have loved each other forever and are reunited under trying family circumstances. 7/10 passes the sniff test

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Tues Gaga) ep 7 of 11 - ARGH. The pain. what an absolutely stellar show. I can't believe we are only on ep 7!

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 9 of 13 - I love it. This show is fantastic. It’s classic BL, it’s hitting all of the tropes, and it reminds me of some of the best that Taiwan has done in the past. I’m charmed and enjoying it immensely. Taiwan isn’t great on endings so I’m reserving judgment, but what a current highlight to my week. I like these boys so much. Please be kind to me and them, Taiwan?

Eternal Butler (Taiwan Fri Gaga) eps 1-2 of 12 - Ever 4, a sophisticated AI combat robot, becomes the personal butler/bodyguard to Luo Bu Shi, a spoiled yet lonely young heir. And I like it a lot. Odd with a very old fashioned yaoi feel. Also actually kinky (not Thai kinky), I mean it's no JBL but I like it. Dommed into reading = hot. 

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 12 of ? - I love our new rescuer, he v cute! Nice addition to the cast. I hope we get more of him. Otherwise, this was more of the same. I’m getting pretty fatigued with this bully stuff at this juncture.

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 8 end - A lackluster adaptation of some already questionable content, that managed to lose all the limited charm and massive chemistry of the original. It was a mistake to do with less runtime not to mention put both climaxes in the final episode.  Too much all at once. By dividing up the two rescues and keeping them exclusive to their respective couples they highlighted the formulaic nature of the narrative and weakened the foundational friendships. The best thing about the original was the friendships both between the semes and the ukes. By having each boyfriend simply rescue his own boy without help, we didn’t get to see the depth of those friendships at all. For this reason, this installment was weaker than the original. My final feeling at the end was simply “OK whatever” not a ringing endorsement. 7/10 but barely that.

It's airing but......

Spare Me Your Mercy (Thurs iQIYI) ep 5 of 8 - on hold because it went out side genre conventions and I'm not sure what to expect. I'm waiting until it ends, then if safe I will binge.

Be Moon - Falling for my enemy's son (China YT) movie from HBD Studio airing in short bits but I couldn't find any this week.

Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Thai ???) - has been picked up to air on WeTV, or something? Criminals who meet in prison fall in love. I did find it on YouTube, initially un-subbed, then subs happened by which time I got distracted. The first episode seems to be only six minutes long. It is very pulp. But it is intriguing. For now it's to the wayside until someone tells me it landed safely. Occasionally Thai pulps want to be edgy and it's not a good look on them.

0.5D (Japan ????) 4 eps - Supposedly a completed short. "Sales ace, Sada, has a secret that only his junior, Daiki, knows. He has pretended to have a gf for years, resulting in him being a virgin. But now Sada has fallen in love. Confused, Sada seeks advice from his junior." I sense another queer Cyrano De Bergerac. I can't find and it's good very poor review so Imma stop looking. Info here.

The Renovation (Thai mini One31) 2 eps - Writer turns his blossoming romance with holiday resort owner into a novel. Eh is it worth trying to find?

It Ended But?

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China Sun Viki) paused at eps 9-10 of 12 - I have been told the ending is OK if not great. I’m gonna hold off for a bit.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Final still to come:

12/29 Sangmin Dinneaw (Thai ????) ??eps - trailer Childhood friends (Thai & Korean) reunite after being apart for ten years. As the boys reconnect, their bond matures and feelings of romance begin to develop, in Thai.

Impression of Youth (Taiwan ????) ??eps - rumors are this is supposed to start this month.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

10 years later and it's still one of BLs best cuddles (Love Sick)

Always like a seme who asks permission. (Perfect 10)

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[anotherjheastan]

Another Complicated Love Story

A Jey Uso x Rhea Ripley FanFic

Chapter 6 | Masterlist

CW arguing, yelling, suggestive, mentions sex

Chapter 7: Like I’m Gonna Lose You

So I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you

I’m gonna hold you like I’m saying goodbye

Wherever we’re standing

I won’t take you for granted

‘Cause we’ll never know when, when we’ll run out of time

- Like I’m Gonna Lose You by Meghan Trainor

Jey was vibing with Naomi’s music so he left his earbuds out. The first 30 minutes of their trip had been smooth. He hoped it would continue to be smooth. He could hear Rhea and Jessica whispering and giggling. He couldn’t make out what they were saying though. Jey was feeling both happy and sad to be around her again. Her presence was calming and he felt the desire to hold her hand or put his arm around her growing. But underneath the surface was fear. He didn’t want to get hurt again, but maybe that was unavoidable. At least for now.

He had the visor down to block the sun, but he flicked open the mirror part. He could see Rhea and he smiled. She was beautiful. And he missed her. They were close together, but somehow still far apart. Rhea looked up and met Jey’s eyes in the mirror. She smiled. He smiled back. He broke eye contact first, fighting emotions and memories that were coming up. And fear came up again. Why was he so afraid? He wanted to pull that thread, but he had to focus. He had a show to do. They were gonna give the crowd some Jhea moments since their relationship was a part of the storyline. And it had to look like things were great between them.

“You doing okay, bro?” Naomi asked.

“Yeah I’m good. How are you holding up?” Jey asked.

“I feel good. Should be able to do the whole drive,” Naomi said.

“Good,” Jey replied.

They arrived at the arena in Jacksonville at 12:35 pm. Traffic had picked up, but they still made good time. They all ate lunch together in catering. Dom, Liv, and Raquel grabbed their food while they were there. Dom waved at Jessica and Rhea had to hold Jessica back from making good on her promise.

Before they knew it, it was rehearsal time. All the superstars walked through the show. Jey would come out after Rhea’s match with Raquel. Jey would look over to make sure she was okay and kiss her on the forehead. Rhea was timid towards Jey and it was obvious.

“You gotta be confident tonight,” Jey said. “I’m yours, remember?”

“Forreal or for the show?,” Rhea asked. She tugged on his shirt.

“Forreal,” Jey said, stepping closer to her. He didn’t care what any other superstars or crew were thinking. He gently caressed her face. Rhea started to talk, but Jey cut her off.

“No, I’m not just saying that.”

Rhea still had uncertainty on her face. He rested her forehead on hers. Rhea exhaled and closed her eyes. He felt her relax.

“Let’s lock in,” Jey said quietly. “You got this.”

Rhea nodded. They separated. Jey could see she was focused now. He smiled.

“Let’s have a great show.”

“Yeet,” Rhea replied, grinning.

“Yeet!”

***

Jey loaded up the bags while Jessica talked about how great the show was. Jessica took pictures with a few superstars backstage: Bianca and Naomi, Damien Priest, Bron Breakker. They all did well: Rhea against Raquel, Jey against Bron, Bianca and Naomi vs Candice and Nia.

“Who’s driving? I’m gonna knock out in the back,” Naomi said, holding up the keys.

“I can drive,” Jey said, holding out his hand.

Jessica yawned. “I’ll be in the back too. Nothing worse than a sleeping navigator.”

“Oh how convenient,” Rhea said.

“Time Zones and all that, mate,” Jessica said, shrugging.

“You don’t want to sit next to me?” Jey asked as he closed the trunk.

“I didn’t say that,” Rhea said, walking over to the passenger door and sliding in.

Jey smiled and took his place in the driver’s seat.

Sure enough, about 20 minutes down the road, Naomi and Jessica were out. Rhea didn’t have her headphones in.

“Can I ask you a question?” Jey asked, lowering the music a little.

“Yeah,” Rhea said, glancing at him.

“Why didn’t you reach out to me after the whole Liv thing?” Jey asked.

Rhea sighed. “I tried to text you. Everything I wrote sounded stupid. Especially after I realized it was a misunderstanding.”

Jey nodded, but didn’t say anything. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but resisted. Touching would lead to other things. And he didn’t want to just sex this issue away. He wanted to know they would be good. And he wanted to pull at the thread he was thinking about earlier to see if anything else was bothering him.

“So you weren’t mad at me the whole time?” Jey asked.

“No, babe,” Rhea said.

“Did you miss me?” Jey asked.

“I still miss you,” Rhea said, sadness in her voice.

He reached out and touched her thigh. A calmness washed over him. He could tell it had washed over Rhea too. She put her hand on top of his. They locked eyes for a few seconds, Jey shifting back on the road.

“I miss you too,” Jey said.

He felt a flash of fear and nervousness. What was up with that? He started thinking about where it could possibly come from…

When it finally clicked, he took his hand away from Rhea’s thigh and gripped the steering wheel. He was trying to play it cool, but he was angry. He loved and trusted her and when they had a problem, not to mention their first problem, she turned her back on him? Remnants of his feud with Roman flashed in his mind. Roman had broken him and something had already shifted with Rhea. He wouldn’t let it go any further. He couldn’t.

They made it back to Jimmy and Naomi’s just before 1 am. Naomi reminded them that they were welcome to crash at the house. Jey in the sunroom, Rhea and Jessica in the guest room.

“If y’all still needed space,” Naomi said.

Rhea looked at Jey expectantly. He had said they were good so of course Rhea wanted to be with him. And he almost wanted her to distract him from this mistrust growing toward her. He could get lost in her touch and smile and kisses. But that would only last for one night.

“I’ll take the sunroom. You and Jess can stay together.”

Rhea looked confused and a little hurt, but she just nodded. Jey went on to settle on the couch bed in the sunroom. Just as he got comfortable, his phone buzzed. It was Rhea. He sighed.

Rhea: I thought we were good? What happened?

Jey: We are good. I just need some space.

Rhea: Why?

Jey: Because I don’t want us to just fuck and forget this shit. We gotta deal with it.

Rhea: But we don’t have to fuck. We can cuddle.

Jey: We both know we won’t just cuddle.

Rhea: Does it matter what we do or don’t do, as long as we still work it out?

Jey: It does to me. Go to sleep, Rhea.

Rhea: Come put me to sleep. Or I can come down there.

Jey: You’re bold.

Rhea: And you’re still texting me.

Jey sighed and gave a half smile. Her confidence was back, but his confidence was floundering. Could he push past this fear? Did he want to?

Jey heard the sunroom door open and he sat up. Rhea quietly closed the door behind her. From the low ambient light, he could see she had a mischievous smile on her face. His anger flared. He stood up and held his hand up before she got closer.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jey asked quietly.

“I thought we were flirting,” Rhea said quietly, stepping closer. “Are we not?”

“No we’re not. Stop!” Jey said, harshly.

“What’s wrong? I thought we were good,” Rhea said, crossing her arms.

“Rhea, the last time I saw you you told me to leave you the fuck alone and to go find Liv. You think I just got over that shit?” Jey said loudly.

“I know I messed up,” Rhea replied loudly. “But I apologized. I’m working on my shit. We basically said we loved each other this morning. Tonight, in the ring, you told me you're mine? That was a lie?”

“No, that wasn’t a lie. That’s the problem.”

“What? What are you saying?” Rhea yelled, frustrated.

“I’m yours. And you abandoned me!” Jey yelled. “I tried to have your back and you told me to fuck off because of something you made up.”

Rhea’s eyes watered, her mouth opened, but she didn’t speak. She exhaled a shaky breath.

“Yes, I overreacted,” she said slowly. “But you know why.”

“Yeah and your why is telling me I can’t fucking trust you,” Jey said loudly.

More tears fell from Rhea’s eyes. She dropped her arms. “So this is it? This is how we end?” Her voice dropped back to a whisper.

Jey shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“You weren’t a rebound, Jey. This was serious for me.”

“This was serious for me too. Why do you think I’m so fucking scared?” Jey asked.

Rhea wiped her tears away. Jey’s eyes started to water. Rhea put a hand on her stomach and a hand on her chest. She took some deep breaths and blew out slowly.

“Watching you pass out…broke something in me,” Jey said, quiet now too. “I hated not being there for you, but you turned your back on me. After everything we talked about with The Judgment Day and The Bloodline. And you didn’t ask me what happened. It was like your word was law. So I fell in line.”

Rhea nodded. “Sounds like you have trauma that you need to work out too.”

Their eyes met. Jey’s heart pounded.

There was a knock on the door. Rhea turned around and backed away from the door as it opened. She was close to Jey now. Jimmy walked in.

“I would ask if y’all are okay, but y’all woke up the whole house…” Jimmy said.

“I’m sorry, uce,” Jey said.

“I’m sorry,” Rhea said.

“If y’all aren’t gonna keep it down, I’d suggest finishing talking in the morning,” Jimmy said.

“We’ll keep it down,” Jey said.

Rhea nodded, looking at Jey.

Jimmy studied both of them. “Don’t make me come back down here.”

Jey smirked. “Yes sir.”

Jimmy closed the door.

“I can go,” Rhea said.

Jey took her hand. “Don’t. Stay with me.”

Rhea looked at their hands and looked up at him, heat passing between them. “I don’t want this to be goodbye.”

“We’ll make it work so it won’t be,” Jey said. “Like you were saying earlier.”

He pulled her close to him, his arms wrapped around her waist. Jey was tired of feeling angry and sad. He wanted to feel something else.

“Oh,” Rhea said, smiling. “You’re done being mad at me?” She reached up, her arms resting on his shoulders, hands behind his neck.

“Yeah,” Jey said. “Now I know what I gotta work on.”

Rhea pressed her body up against him. Jey bit his lip.

“See? We could’ve been on Round 2 by now,” Rhea whispered, her eyes shifting between his eyes and lips.

Jey smirked as he leaned in. “Greedy,” he whispered just before he kissed her.

Rhea smiled briefly before losing herself in the kiss. She held him tightly as she kissed him back. Clothes came off and kisses were planted in places other than lips. Their quiet moans filled only the sunroom. They made sure. And after, they looked into each other’s eyes, promising to make this work.

[deeplyshalllow]

Hi,

I absolutely love your posts on Fiyeraba scenes in the Wicked movie! I wanted to ask and this is just a thought I had but do you think Fiyero heals Elphaba with his acceptance of her appearance and as a person, because her major trauma stems from her father's rejection at her birth cause you hear "take it away" at many points throughout pivotal moments. Now that I think about it, her friendship with Glinda could be represented as a version of Elphaba's dynamic with Nessa where the sisters love each other but Nessa never protects Elphaba the way she does.

What are your thoughts on this?

Keep up the great content!!! 😃

Firstly, I am so sorry it's taken me this long to reply! It's been on my to do list all week but Pre Christmas and work and the need to also write a 3500 word essay on the Lion Cub scene, has made it hard for me to find the time to write a proper answer.

Short answer: I agree.

Long answer: I think Elphaba is hugely damaged by the way her father treats her. I think she has been othered all her life, including by the people who should love her and she so desperately loves. And a lot of this presents itself both in doing anything for them, even when it personally hurts her, and almost deliberately making sure everyone else sees her as a person as "ugly" as her green skin. Because, if she does that, she doesn't end up finding other people whom she loves who don't love her back or betray her, as she says in the Lion Cub scene, she sees it as an issue that she "cares so much".

There's actually three people at Shiz who really challenge Elphaba's view of the world.

Firstly, Doctor Dillamond, who shows her kindness and also regards her as a friend. But it is important to note that he is also othered, Elphaba's fight for the Animals is to some degree because she sees herself in them, she wants them to be able to fit in in a way she never has had. She empathises and her bond with Doctor Dillamond is stronger because they both share similar problems.

Galinda and Fiyero are the first, I think, to get Elphaba out of her shell. They are the ones who love her for who she is, nothing to do with her green skin, and yes, I do think it's healing. She's let down her mask of defensiveness and discovered that people do like her for what's underneath! There is a moment in the movie, when everyone is cheering Elphaba off at the train station where I thought "ok, they could just end the story here and it's the most heartwarming, happy ending for Elphaba" and obviously it's tragic that this is never to be.

Interestingly, I think Elphaba initially regards Morrible and the Wizard as people who see her for who she is too. Morrible because she's very motherly and values Elphaba when she wants to use her for her power (especially in the movie), and the Wizard because Elphaba has grown up believing him in an almost God like way - being so sure he will understand and know best. So that it is ultimately them that betray her hits her very hard.

Which leads to Defying Gravity and Act 2. Where, unfortunately, a lot of this healing for Elphaba is reversed. She's betrayed by Morrible, the Wizard (and to an extent Glinda) when she's condemned as a Wicked Witch, people still judge her for the colour of her skin. She does fight to do what is right, but she does it while sacrificing herself, what she wants, who she loves, what will make her happy - what she had been doing her entire pre Shiz years for Nessa.

There are so many heartbreaking lines in act two where we see how hurt Elphaba is by losing people she trusted or cared about:

"Boq, it's just me, I'm not going to hurt you!"

"Nessa, I have done everything I could for you but it has never been enough and it never will be"

"Don't you think I wish I could? That I could go back to the time when I believed you really were wonderful? The Wonderful Wizard of Oz? Nobody believed in you more than I did."

"Fiyero, not you too," (though obviously this one gets very quickly resolved)

"I can't believe you would sink this low! To use my sister's death as a trap to capture me?!"

So, when we get to As Long As You're Mine, and the scene afterwards, I think Fiyero does attempt heal her, and I do think it does good, but there's also this line:

Elphaba: I wish I could be beautiful... for you. Fiyero: Elphaba... Elphaba: Don't tell me that I am, you don't need to lie to me.

Elphaba's wounds cut deep. And, if I'm honest, I'm not sure she's ever going to be fully healed.

I do think the end of the show, Elphaba passing the task of helping Oz onto Glinda, of being able to go with Fiyero and live a life for themselves is a way to heal. She's given so much of herself to her cause, because she doesn't really value herself as a person, Fiyero - who loves her for who she is and will do anything for her including laying down his life, lets her finally do something for herself that makes her happy. And likewise Glinda, though she doesn't necessarily know it, carrying on her legacy, means Elphaba no longer has to worry about leaving the fight - she knows Oz is in safe hands.

Through the two people she loved the most, by the finale Elphaba might finally be able to heal.

Also, as I have nowhere else to put it: I think her father's treatment of Nessa also fucks Nessa up. I know they're going to change it for the movie, as it's seen as ablest (and I don't want to say it's not as I have a friend who literally has a Doctorate in disability history who sees it as ablest too) but I've always seen the fact that Nessa thinks her chair as a curse as an attitude driven by her father. Her father, in blaming Elphaba for Nessa's disability and coddling Nessa because of it, has always made Nessa feel like it's her defining trait and it's something wrong with her. This has led Nessa to both treat Elphaba as if she owes her something, but also believe her life would be perfect if she could walk - a belief that is brutally smashed in Act 2 when she is given the ability to walk.

[polyamzeal]

wanted to ask for some advice...

me and my nesting boyfriend (let's call him A) have been together for almost 4 years, which is a long time for the young adults we are. i love him so much, he means the world to me. he's always been there, he's always been so compassionate and loving, hes absolutely wonderful.

im polyamorous, and currently have one other boyfriend (let's call him T), who i've been with for almost 2 years. T and i are long distance, and T has another boyfriend (let's call him P) irl. me and P get along amazingly, me P and T have never had any troubles surrounding our polyamory.

A knows all about me and T, and vice versa, and i feel as though we had a good balance going on. A gets insecure, and we've talked about it a lot before, and while i make sure to reassure him and keep him updated on everything, i just dont know how to help.

both A and T are so so special to me, i really want them to have a good relationship if that's possible for them, as right now, while A doesnt dislike T, A's insecurities get in the way. A's told me that (while he knows it's not true) sometimes he feels like he's not enough for me, and that can hurt him. even if A and T never become good friends, i'll be fine with that, but i just really want to help A. he is more than enough for me, i love him so much, but i dont know how to help, and he says he just needs time to get over his stuff, which is completely okay, but i just really wish there was some way for me to help.

recently, the balance A, T, and i had got disrupted, i got asked out by a girl that i kinda like (let's call her V), we're set to go out in a week-ish. T was super happy for me, as i kind of expected he'd be, but A isnt as excited about it. hes said i can go, that he doesn't have any problems with it, and i believe him, but i know he's still having those insecurities and doubts in himself. i really want to go out with V, but i also need to make sure A's okay and to help him however i can and i just. i never want A to feel bad, which i know is completely unrealistic, that emotions ebb and flow, but when he's feeling bad because of stuff related to me i feel even worse. if that makes sense?? A is so selfless, loving, and i am completely happy with him, he deserves the whole entire world, and i dont know how to get him to truly believe that

I think listening to A is key here. Time is a great healer and problem-solver. It would nice if there was am miracle formula that instantly solved our problems over-night. But big stuff like this is often a work in-progress for a long time. Things get better, get worse, and get better again. I think the best thing to do would be to setup some timely check-ins with A. Monthly or maybe even weekly. Where you can listen to how A is really doing and he feels comfortable making requests of you. Lean into love languages, maybe he just needs some extra cuddles or he wants to go on a certain date with you but doesn't know how to ask. I think as long as you have this system of actively checking in with each other then there is no blame or guilt. Everybody is doing the best they can and you will work out the hard insecurities in time.

[grimeshound]

SCOUT’S HONOR.

word count: 2,292

pairing: rick grimes x negan smith

summary: the one where rick shows off a skill he learnt in the boy scouts, to negan’s amusement.

warnings: 18+, dirty talk, praise kink, degradation kink, oral sex (m receiving), creampie.

a/n: finally uploading my first ao3 work onto tumblr ^_^ this takes place around season 8/9 but i physically cant put a photo of s9 rick without laughing… love him but not his best look i fear

ill most likely use tumblr mainly for casual blurbs or short ideas not long enough for fics, but i wanted to upload this to get the ball rolling. hope you enjoy!

—-

Time blurred in the cell. Minutes bled into days, days into weeks, weeks into months. Negan Smith, the once-feared leader of the Saviors, had been stripped of his grandeur piece by piece. Life in the Sanctuary had kept him on his feet—always something to fix, someone to intimidate, something that demanded his attention. But prison was a complete 180, he was bored out of his goddamn mind. And just when he thought he’d go crazy, like some twisted prayer had been answered, the cell door swung open.

The sheriff strode down the steps, hips swaying with a deliberate, steady rhythm that had Negan’s ears perking up at the echoed sound of booted footsteps filling the prison cell walls. Rick’s expression was closed off, unreadable as he came to a halt just beyond the bars.

“Well, well,” Negan grinned, “Looks like Christmas came early. Missed me that much, Rick?”

Rick’s deadpan expression didn’t waver. “You can’t taunt me anymore, Negan. You’ll be stuck in that cell for the rest of your life. Your days are over.”

“So, you came here to taunt me, huh?” Negan drawled, slumped against the wall with one hand clutching his chest in mock agony. “Wanted to gloat a little, feel better about yourself? And here I was thinkin’ you actually missed me, prick. I’m hurt.”

Rick sighed, the irritation building with every one of Negan’s quips. “I came because I need you. We need directions to a Savior outpost up north.”

Negan’s face lit up as he pushed himself to his feet. Though the height difference between him and Rick was barely noticeable, the space between them always felt charged, like Negan was somehow towering over him. He stepped forward, pressing himself against the steel bars, closing as much distance as the barrier would allow as he slung his arms across the bars, hand inches away from Rick’s face.

“I can finally die a happy man now, hearin’ the great Rick Grimes sayin’ those words.” Negan mimicked Rick’s drawl, his voice dropping low. “I need you.” His tone was husky, his mocking imitation sending an involuntary shiver down Rick’s spine.

Rick had managed to grow somewhat used to Negan’s childish nature, the relentless teasing never seeming to die down. Even when the older was confined in prison. It was impressive, really. Ignoring the taunt, Rick grabbed his keys, stepping inside the cell as the door creaked open. Negan’s expression turned gleeful, an amused glint in his eye.

“Finally givin’ in, huh? Knew this day would co—”

Negan’s words came to a sudden halt as Rick grabbed him by the collar, slamming him back against the cold concrete wall, pinning him there with the weight of his body. “You’re coming with us,” Rick growled, his voice low as he leaned close, the words brushing against Negan’s ear. “And you’ll lead us to that outpost.”

Negan’s eyes flicked back, catching Rick’s intense gaze as he felt a rope loop around his wrists, binding his hands securely. A smirk played on Negan’s lips as he recognized the knot. “Real kinky, Ricky. A bowline knot, huh? Takes me back. They taught me that shit in Boy Scouts, you know.”

Even restrained, Negan’s mouth kept running, his taunts flowing without fail. Rick couldn’t resist a jab back. “I find it hard to imagine you as a Boy Scout,” he remarked, adjusting the knot and squinting as his eyes adjusted to the dim cell. “Oh, I was,” Negan huffed, grinning as he felt the pull of the rope. “Bet you were a real cute Boy Scout yourself, huh? Goody two-shoes Grimes.”

Rick felt a dry chuckle slip out before he could stop it, hoping Negan hadn’t noticed. But by the way Negan’s grin widened, he knew he had. But Negan only smirked, letting his eyes roam up and down Rick’s body, defiance in his eyes.

“Ricky,” he practically purred, “you can keep playing leader all you want. But, if only your people knew. If they saw you the way I see you...”

Rick’s brow quirked despite himself, curiosity flaring before he could tamp it down. He hated it, hated the intrigue that pricked at the back of his mind, that questioning look now painted across his face. Rick didn’t need to ask however, as Negan finished his train of thought.

“Like a whore ,” Negan breathed.

Rick’s mouth went dry, his pulse thundering in his chest. His mind flashed back to every brutal fight they’d had, all the times they’d wrestled each other to the ground—Rick on top, fists swinging as Negan laughed beneath him, their faces inches apart. He’d blamed the feeling that twisted in his stomach on adrenaline, on the thrill of the fight. But now, standing here, that mask of denial crumbled. He saw it for what it truly was. Lust .

Negan’s gaze locked onto him, a knowing glint in his eyes. Hands restrained with the bowline-knot, yet he still manages to have the upper hand. He couldn’t help the arrogant smirk that crept onto his expression. “Just give in, prick. You want it just as bad as I do. Maybe even more.”

Negan pressed in, closing the scant space left between them, eyes trailing over Rick with a predatory gleam. He leaned down, pressing his nose to Rick’s neck. The sheriff’s breath hitched, his chest rising and falling as he felt Negan’s warm breath grazing his skin. Slowly, Negan began tracing kisses down Rick’s neck, letting his lips press against the sheriff’s skin. Rick’s hand moved up almost involuntarily, fingers tangling into Negan’s hair, once pure jet black now streaked with strands of gray.

Despite his cocky front, Negan couldn’t hide the desperation that lingered underneath. Cooped up in his cell, starved for touch, every brush of Rick’s fingers sent sparks across his skin. He’d wanted Rick since the moment he’d seen him at the lineup; now, finally, he had him, and it felt like ecstasy.

The air around them was charged, heavy with something undeniable. Even without his signature leather jacket, replaced now by a worn, navy-blue button-up, Negan still carried that distinct scent. Woodsy, with a hint of leather— that intoxicating scent that quickly filled Rick’s senses, overriding everything else. Rick let out a shaky breath as Negan’s tongue traced his neck, letting himself sink into that heady scent.

“Negan, please… need you,” Rick stammered, voice low and breathless. Negan’s hungry gaze locked onto him, something dark and primal flaring in his eyes. “Yeah, baby? Go on, then. You can have me.” That was all Rick needed to hear. He tightened his grip on Negan’s hair, pulling him in for a kiss that was deeper, more intense than any he’d shared before. It wasn’t like any kiss he’d ever had—not with Lori, not with anyone. This was something else. Something that changed him in a way he could never come back from

Caught in their haze, Rick managed to push Negan back onto the cot, the savior’s hands still bound behind him. Negan raised an eyebrow, biting back a wolfish smirk as Rick knelt down, fumbling with his belt.

“Look at you, Rick. So damn eager .” Negan’s voice was thick with amusement.

“Will you ever shut up?” Rick shot back, cheeks flushed, realizing he was on his knees between his rival’s legs—Negan Smith, the man he’d fought so hard against, and the man he’d come to feel so much for. His hands moved down, pulling Negan’s boxers down and wrapping his hands around Negan’s cock. Rick pumped his hand a few times before lowering his mouth. The brunette quickly realized that that was easier said than done, as he couldn’t help but gag loudly, tightly gripping Negan’s thighs as a low groan escaped the man above him. He was fucking big .

“Just like that… Always such a good boy for me…” Negan moaned, chest rising and falling as Rick struggled to take it all in. Rick, always a fast learner, began bobbing his head. The obscene sounds bouncing off the walls of the cell.

“Goddamn, Rick… suckin’ my dick like it’s what you were made to do. So good for me, huh, baby?”

Rick’s tear-filled eyes looked up at Negan, lips swollen and eyes glistening. Negan swore he could’ve cum from that sight alone. Rick, gazing up at him with that heartbreakingly sad expression, his brows knit as tears threatened to fall, brunette curls bouncing with each movement.

“Keep goin’, just like that, M’gonna cum in that pretty little mouth of yours…” Negan moaned. But just as he felt himself teetering over the edge, Rick pulled back, a trail of saliva connecting his lips to Negan. Precum still glistened at the tip, and Negan’s face twisted with frustration.

“Shit, this some kinda punishment? Payback for all the crap I put your group through?” Negan tilted his head, watching as Rick began unbuckling his own belt, pushing his slacks down just enough to give Negan access. “Want you inside of me,” Rick muttered, cheeks flushed as he settled on Negan’s lap, aligning himself

Negan’s smirk softened, a glint of satisfaction in his eyes. The sheriff, Rick Grimes—his rival, and the man he wanted most, was now here, on his lap. Rick was an amateur, clearly, but that only made this more intimate. Negan felt a wave of pride knowing he’d be Rick’s first—and last.

Rick took a breath, sliding down onto Negan’s cock, biting his lip at the stretch. The sting was sharp and Rick’s pace was slow, easing himself to adjust to the length of it all. Negan only watched, eyes hooded with lust.

“ Ffffuck… so damn good, baby. Takin’ it like a pro,” Negan sighed, as Rick’s movements became smoother, pain slowly turning to pleasure.

“Shit, hurts like hell…” Rick groaned, his eyes squeezed shut.

Negan leaned forward, kissing Rick’s neck softly, cooing, “Doin’ so good, baby… takin’ my dick like a good boy.”

And with that, Rick’s pained groans shifted into desperate, needy moans. Wrapping his arms around Negan’s neck, he rode the older harder, both of their moans reverberating off of the cell walls. Without warning, Negan bucked his hips up, meeting Rick’s hips with his own as he bottomed out, pounding harder with each motion.

“And what would your little Alexandrians say, seein’ their fearless leader like this, huh? Gettin’ fucked senseless like a bitch in heat?” Negan taunted, lips curled into a devilish grin. “Keep this up Ricky, and I might just knock you up.”

Rick’s eyes flew open, wide with arousal and disbelief, his cheeks red as he clawed at Negan’s chest, feeling himself reaching the edge. He’d never felt so damn full in his life. The feeling of Negan pistoning in and out of him at a breakneck pace was driving Rick mad. “F-Fuck, Negan… I… wanna cum, please…”

Negan’s grin softened, his voice low and rough. “That’s it, Rick… You’re such a good boy…” He pulled him in for a soft kiss, an action that would’ve been deemed wholesome if not for the way Negan was fucking into him like a madman. “Beg me.”

Rick looked back at the taller man like he’d lost his damn mind, eyes wide. “Wh-“

“I said, fucking beg me, or I’ll leave you here. On the floor all fucked out like a cheap whore for your people to find.”

“P-Please.. Please let me, Negan- Need to cum, need you-“ Rick mewled, babbling on dumbly, feeling light-headed from the relentless pace Negan had set.

“C’mon, baby. Cum for me.”

That was all it took. Rick’s climax washed over him, his moans filling the cell. As waves of pleasure rode over him, Rick steadied himself as best he could, hands tightly grasped on Negan’s broad shoulders as he began riding Negan harder. Rick looked at him, eyes low-lidded, light-headed and dizzy from the pleasure. The sheriff managed to rasp out, voice hoarse from all the obscene noises that have been escaping past his parted lips.

“Please, Negan.. inside, cum inside me. ”

Just like that, Negan felt that familiar twist in his stomach as came inside of Rick, the hot liquid quickly filling the brunette up to the brim as tears threatened to fall from Rick’s eyes. Panting from the climax, Rick slumped against Negan’s chest, head resting on his shoulder as his breathing steadied. Negan’s hand rubbed circles on his back, soothing him. “Did so good, baby. M’impressed.”

“The… the outpost…” Rick mumbled, still dazed.

Then, realization dawned on him. Negan’s hand was on his back. And as he looked closer, he realized—Negan’s hands were free. The rope, once bound tightly in a bowline knot, lay discarded on the cot. Stumbling back, Rick’s legs wobbled as he struggled to his feet, staring at Negan.

Negan gave a cheeky grin. “Careful there. Don’t want you fallin’ over.”

“The knot… You—” Rick started, realization dawning.

Negan laughed. “Knots weren’t your strong suit in Boy Scouts, huh? Not gettin’ any badges any time soon. Don’t worry, nothin’ to be ashamed of.”

Rick glared, but he couldn’t hide the dazed look in his eyes.

Negan smirked, standing up and placing a hand on Rick’s shoulder, holding his gaze. “I’ll lead you to the outpost. On one condition—you let me out of here.” He extended his hand, and after a pause, Rick nodded, dumbfounded, too rattled to refuse.

Negan handed Rick the discarded rope, watching him with satisfaction as Rick’s mind raced. What would the Alexandrians think if they knew? What if someone had heard them? Panic flickered across his face. Luckily for Rick, Negan knows the younger man better than the back of his hand. Ripping from his thoughts, Negan leaned in, whispering into Rick’s ear.

“Relax, Rick. I won’t tattle. Scout’s honor.”

[deoidesign]

My comic is so pretty...

The hiatus is letting me take a little extra time on these episodes, and I'm definitely putting it to good use!!!

[thedreadvampy]

it's been a strange arc so far

when I was 19-21 and having an extremely imbalanced relationship with someone in their mid 30s I was like 'we are both adults so the fact that this is fucking me up is my fault'

when I hit my late 20s and saw how young people in their late teens and early 20s seem now I was like 'oh wait I was so fucking young I didn't know shit about my own limits or about managing relationships and I don't know why someone in their mid to late 30s would be into that except for nefarious purposes'

the weird bit is now I'm into my 30s - not even that far into my 30s - and while I still wholeheartedly believe that last thing about how young (and self destructive) 20 year olds are, I'm also kind of like 'huh, actually nobody I know that age has their shit remotely together and frankly the reason this fucked me up is because NEITHER of us knew what the fuck we were doing it how to cope, for different reasons and at different life stages, and there probably wasn't any malice or intent to control as much as there was Blind Flailing.'

[faaun]

the forest looks like heaven today i woke up feeling the heaviest weight at the top of my heart

[luvsavos]

i am once again apologizing for my lack of activity/responsiveness

my childhood cat passed away a few days ago which has just been more stuff on top of everything else for me to deal with to stress me out and upset me

i'll try to get back to stuff. Eventually. as soon as i can</3

[sleepless-crows]

.

[wayfinderships]

Every once in a while I think about my old L.upin III s/i and the whole situation they had going on with him and man...

[ivycorp]

Riot's TFP AU: The quiet before the storm (in more ways than one)

Peace has been tentatively arranged between both sides following the appearance of their leaders' sparkling - first in a very, very long time in the history of Cybertron.

However, it doesn't mean there is no more fighting involved.

Optimus fell hard onto the ground, data cables tangled around his pede, as a slim servo gripped his finals and slammed his face into the ground. Before he got a chance to recuperate, the mech on his back managed to do it a couple more times, keeping him disorientated.

"That's enough, Soundwave, thank you." 

The disappointed huff came from the side of the ring, where Megatron sat comfortably, cradling Silverlight; the child was curled up, happily napping above his spark, supported by one clawed servo. The warlord himself kept on rubbing small circles on it, chirping occasionally when the sparking would wake up at a particularly loud clang or grunt until it would relax once more. The red optics of their carrier were glaring at the Autobot unimpressed, as the blue mech finally released his hold of Prime's helm, stepping off his back.

"I told you that you need to keep track of the cables when he drops low like this - it's the fifth time you're falling for the same trick, Optimus," said the Decepticon leader, clicking his glossa in annoyance. The red and blue bot groaned before he pushed himself up, looking at his partner in exhaustion.

"I know, but it's harder than it looks," Prime complained, but there was no sympathy coming from his lover, who instead snorted lightly.

"I know it's hard - I know very well how good Soundwave is at fighting,” the warlord admitted, nodding appreciatively. “I'm happy to say he hasn't lost his edge," the warlord noted with a hint of pride. Optimus could see the compliment was actually well received; despite the strained relationship between the Decepticon command and their leader, the TIC stood straighter - preening, smugness in every little bit of his frame. 

It seems that while the communications officer did not agree with the relationship between his old friend and his 'lover turned enemy turned lover again', he still recognized the value of such words coming from a fellow former gladiator. Megatron might have been biased in fighting the ex-Archivist, but he was still a formidable opponent to anyone else. 

Especially since he finally got used to actually wearing his visor, which allowed him to see who he was fighting in the first place - this time without having to worry about the helmache at the too bright light in his surroundings. 

(Admittedly, the appreciation of the device was most likely founded by the fact that not only could he change its settings, letting him adjust the transparency easily, but could also run entertainment on the inside, which may or may not have already been used during some of the more boring meetings or medical tests.

Raf promised to Bumblebee that he will figure out if they can run Doom on it.)

Nonetheless, Soundwave was quite obviously having a lot of fun; he could see the deceptively delicate digits curl into fists anticipatingly, undoubtedly looking forward to the next opening left in the Autobot's defense. Despite the TIC standing completely still a few steps away, Optimus felt like he was being circled by a predator, pacing slowly around him - waiting to strike, aiming to kill. 

When Megatron announced that he needed his partner to 'stay in peak physical condition', Prime expected it to be a veiled reference to interfacing (which he would have been very interested in 'practicing'). To his astonishment, the silver mech actually scheduled a set of regular sparrings for him, asking his officers if anyone was up for the task.

Soundwave was the first and only one to step up to the challenge, and by then the bot should have known he was in trouble.

While the bouts were supposed to be actual exercise to everyone involved, with the Decepticon TIC in the ring it felt more like a one-sided battle for survival; the blue mech gleefully exploited the opportunity to resolve his underlying distaste for the Prime by beating the everloving slag out of him. 

All of that happened to a running commentary of the warlord, who kept on chastising each of the mistakes made by his lover. He managed to sound stern even as he shushed their sparkling, matter-of-factly criticizing the other with the level of focus that would have been frightening coming from anyone else; with them engaged in combat so often, it was easy for the silver mech to note even the slightest hesitation and obliviousness - none of which could be permitted with such an experienced opponent.

"Again," Megatron ordered, rubbing his helm tiredly, and the Communication Officer focused on the Bot still sitting on the ground.

Optimus would have laid down in protest had he not known from experience that it would not actually get him out of getting his aft handed to him. He scrambled to get up, barely managing to block the first punch, side-stepping the appendage which tried to throw him off balance.

“Am I interrupting something?” queried a new voice, and the Prime nearly got his smokestack ripped off by being distracted; his companion laughed, patting the bench beside him in invitation at the psychiatrist, who approached them with mild curiosity in his optics.

“No, Rung, you are just in time to see my conjunx get a taste of skill forged in the Arena of Kaon,” he mentioned, gesturing towards the ring, where the mech in question was intently focused to not give any ground to the vicious attacker. Soundwave’s data cables were hard to predict, but he had to admit that with each beating it was becoming less difficult to keep track of them - ugh, he would have to actually admit to Megatron that his weird training plan is working; he was going to be insufferable about it, he was sure.

“Will you be doing this too?” the small bot asked, taking a moment to smile at the small sparkling in the other’s grasp that opened their bright optics to look at him when he joined their carrier. He waved at it, delighted at its soft beeping, and the Decepticon snuggled it closer, humming a gentle tune in response.

“Can’t, I’m carrying,” the warlord sighed, rocking the child against his chestplates absent-mindedly. Rung looked at him pensively, as Jazz approached them after handing over the console back to Prowl, having finished logging the remaining reports. He watched his friend jump away from a kick aimed at his interface array, crossing his servos at the sight.

“I’m sure Optimus could watch the kid for a moment, it would be good for you too to get some exercise in, too - relieve some tension and all that,” the Autobot SIC mentioned, keeping his optics on the fight in front of him, just as the Matrix bearer ducked to the side from being grabbed by his opponent, earning a pleased sound from the other former gladiator in the room.

“See? You got it this time, I knew you could do it!” he praised his lover loudly, and the Prime perked up, finally getting positive feedback. He couldn’t help shooting his partner a beaming smile; that distraction caused him to miss the two cables sneaking in from his sides, looping around his neck and dragging him down right into Soundwave’s pointy knee joint.

Megatron watched the Autobot go down again, letting out a loud ex-vent of exasperation. 

“We will have to work on that…” he muttered, before he called out to the TIC to step off from the other’s helm. The blue bot complied, but not before grinding his pede a little bit harder, earning a hiss of pain from Optimus. The Autobot leader pulled himself up, wiping his faceplates from the dirt yet again that day, as he turned angrily, clearly annoyed at his progres being thrown back into his face so swiftly.

“Again,” the silver mech announced again, before he turned to address Jazz, who had been joined by Bulkhead and Miko in the meantime, both cringing away at the last maneuver.

“When I said I am carrying, I didn’t mean it in a ‘I am holding Silverlight and that prevents me from participating’,” he started, before he smiled widely, tapping his chest once again, saying “I meant it as ‘there is another sparkling growing in there and the medics would not let me live it down if I jeopardized its well-being like that’.” 

Rung sat there, observing the entire exchange with a conflicted expression. He had been privy to that information quite early on, having his access to some of the patient’s medical files; it wasn’t easy to miss the ‘warning: actively carrying - medication to be reviewed’ pop-up flashing across the registry, awaiting the acknowledgement from the other staff. 

Knock Out was so tired that day, that they just told him to go take a long, relaxing ride with Breakdown - away from the Nemesis.

Judging by the lack of surprise on Optimus's end, he must have already known the good news.

Looking at Soundwave, it was quite obvious the TIC knew of it too - and was doing his best to show his displeasure at the apparently insatiable sire.

However, looking back at the other Autobots, it was quite clear that their leader hadn't shared the good news, and Ratchet would have blasted Pharma's spike off if he tried to break patient confidentiality to tell them.

“You just had one come out from you, how did you manage to get sparked up again so quickly?” Jazz questioned in disbelief, staring at the warlord in both anger and wonder. Megatron shrugged, unconcerned.

"No idea, to be honest, we still haven't figured out precisely how I got sparked the first time around," he said, looking fondly at Silverlight basking in the heat coming from his chassis. He smirked, as he added in a theatrical whisper:

"But well… Optimus is rather enthusiastic…"

Elita broke the datapad in her servo. Prowl stopped typing at the console, as he turned to look in the direction of the training field.

Jazz stared at the warlord blankly, before he slowly turned his helm to look at the Prime, before he asked in a mild tone:

"Those practice sessions… Can anyone join in?"

The Decepticon leader grinned before he stretched his servo to the datapad at his side, powering it up. He passed it to the SIC after opening a schedule, where the sessions against his conjunx were planned out for the next few weeks.

"Just leave a few for Soundwave - we are finally seeing progress," he chuckled, amused at the furious expression as the mech started to add his name in.

"Write me in for a few, too," added Elita, throwing out the broken pieces of the pad she crushed moments before, and standing menacingly at the edge of the field where Optimus was by then venting hard, struggling to keep his hold of the data cables secure.

Both of the Autobot SICs had something to say about the irresponsibility of their leader - they would be heard, no matter if the Prime wanted it or not.

Until then, they would stand there, consumed by anger of being out of the loop.

The warlord shook his helm when his conjunx glanced towards his lieutenants and faltered, ending with getting sent flying out of bounds. His companion was lovely, but he needed to learn that Soundwave does not let even the tiniest mistakes go.

As he granted Optimus a break, coaxing him close to take a look at his injuries to assess if they already needed Ratchet's support, he indulged the other with a nuzzle to the helm, EM field filled with happiness. Their sparkling chirped joyfully, and the Prime smiled at them both in spite of the aches from the merciless sparring, looping his servo around the warlord to pull him closer and steal a quick kiss.

The other occupants of the base were used to those displays of affection, but some of them couldn't help rolling their eyes (or optics) at that - these two could be obnoxiously sappy.

Not discouraged in the slightest, Megatron held his sparkling in between them, leaning into the embrace, as his other servo rested over his spark; no doubt already thinking about the new addition to their lives. 

How lucky were they to be blessed by this so quickly after the first miracle?

Rung felt his own spark ache, looking at the happy couple in silence. 

He couldn't warn them. 

He couldn't prepare them for it. 

There was no possibility of this situation being changed in any way, and telling them about it now would only invite more questions and despair, as they realize they won't be able to change anything.

The psychiatrist braced himself for the future: one where the bright ball of light under the silver plating - nestled currently against its carrier in its innocence, soaking the love of their creators - had no chance to survive long enough to reach emergence.

*******************

@transingthoseformers I am following up on my promise to myself

[voiceshearingyouloud]

Me when my life is trauma and mental illness all the way down but I am determined to make something good of it in the end

[jrueships]

Pretty pretty pretty! with the cuffed pants!!

[hunsa-jars]

The wedding was funnnn, golly I feel woozy