#tw mention of future miscarriage

[ivycorp]

Riot's TFP AU: The quiet before the storm (in more ways than one)

Peace has been tentatively arranged between both sides following the appearance of their leaders' sparkling - first in a very, very long time in the history of Cybertron.

However, it doesn't mean there is no more fighting involved.

Optimus fell hard onto the ground, data cables tangled around his pede, as a slim servo gripped his finals and slammed his face into the ground. Before he got a chance to recuperate, the mech on his back managed to do it a couple more times, keeping him disorientated.

"That's enough, Soundwave, thank you." 

The disappointed huff came from the side of the ring, where Megatron sat comfortably, cradling Silverlight; the child was curled up, happily napping above his spark, supported by one clawed servo. The warlord himself kept on rubbing small circles on it, chirping occasionally when the sparking would wake up at a particularly loud clang or grunt until it would relax once more. The red optics of their carrier were glaring at the Autobot unimpressed, as the blue mech finally released his hold of Prime's helm, stepping off his back.

"I told you that you need to keep track of the cables when he drops low like this - it's the fifth time you're falling for the same trick, Optimus," said the Decepticon leader, clicking his glossa in annoyance. The red and blue bot groaned before he pushed himself up, looking at his partner in exhaustion.

"I know, but it's harder than it looks," Prime complained, but there was no sympathy coming from his lover, who instead snorted lightly.

"I know it's hard - I know very well how good Soundwave is at fighting,” the warlord admitted, nodding appreciatively. “I'm happy to say he hasn't lost his edge," the warlord noted with a hint of pride. Optimus could see the compliment was actually well received; despite the strained relationship between the Decepticon command and their leader, the TIC stood straighter - preening, smugness in every little bit of his frame. 

It seems that while the communications officer did not agree with the relationship between his old friend and his 'lover turned enemy turned lover again', he still recognized the value of such words coming from a fellow former gladiator. Megatron might have been biased in fighting the ex-Archivist, but he was still a formidable opponent to anyone else. 

Especially since he finally got used to actually wearing his visor, which allowed him to see who he was fighting in the first place - this time without having to worry about the helmache at the too bright light in his surroundings. 

(Admittedly, the appreciation of the device was most likely founded by the fact that not only could he change its settings, letting him adjust the transparency easily, but could also run entertainment on the inside, which may or may not have already been used during some of the more boring meetings or medical tests.

Raf promised to Bumblebee that he will figure out if they can run Doom on it.)

Nonetheless, Soundwave was quite obviously having a lot of fun; he could see the deceptively delicate digits curl into fists anticipatingly, undoubtedly looking forward to the next opening left in the Autobot's defense. Despite the TIC standing completely still a few steps away, Optimus felt like he was being circled by a predator, pacing slowly around him - waiting to strike, aiming to kill. 

When Megatron announced that he needed his partner to 'stay in peak physical condition', Prime expected it to be a veiled reference to interfacing (which he would have been very interested in 'practicing'). To his astonishment, the silver mech actually scheduled a set of regular sparrings for him, asking his officers if anyone was up for the task.

Soundwave was the first and only one to step up to the challenge, and by then the bot should have known he was in trouble.

While the bouts were supposed to be actual exercise to everyone involved, with the Decepticon TIC in the ring it felt more like a one-sided battle for survival; the blue mech gleefully exploited the opportunity to resolve his underlying distaste for the Prime by beating the everloving slag out of him. 

All of that happened to a running commentary of the warlord, who kept on chastising each of the mistakes made by his lover. He managed to sound stern even as he shushed their sparkling, matter-of-factly criticizing the other with the level of focus that would have been frightening coming from anyone else; with them engaged in combat so often, it was easy for the silver mech to note even the slightest hesitation and obliviousness - none of which could be permitted with such an experienced opponent.

"Again," Megatron ordered, rubbing his helm tiredly, and the Communication Officer focused on the Bot still sitting on the ground.

Optimus would have laid down in protest had he not known from experience that it would not actually get him out of getting his aft handed to him. He scrambled to get up, barely managing to block the first punch, side-stepping the appendage which tried to throw him off balance.

“Am I interrupting something?” queried a new voice, and the Prime nearly got his smokestack ripped off by being distracted; his companion laughed, patting the bench beside him in invitation at the psychiatrist, who approached them with mild curiosity in his optics.

“No, Rung, you are just in time to see my conjunx get a taste of skill forged in the Arena of Kaon,” he mentioned, gesturing towards the ring, where the mech in question was intently focused to not give any ground to the vicious attacker. Soundwave’s data cables were hard to predict, but he had to admit that with each beating it was becoming less difficult to keep track of them - ugh, he would have to actually admit to Megatron that his weird training plan is working; he was going to be insufferable about it, he was sure.

“Will you be doing this too?” the small bot asked, taking a moment to smile at the small sparkling in the other’s grasp that opened their bright optics to look at him when he joined their carrier. He waved at it, delighted at its soft beeping, and the Decepticon snuggled it closer, humming a gentle tune in response.

“Can’t, I’m carrying,” the warlord sighed, rocking the child against his chestplates absent-mindedly. Rung looked at him pensively, as Jazz approached them after handing over the console back to Prowl, having finished logging the remaining reports. He watched his friend jump away from a kick aimed at his interface array, crossing his servos at the sight.

“I’m sure Optimus could watch the kid for a moment, it would be good for you too to get some exercise in, too - relieve some tension and all that,” the Autobot SIC mentioned, keeping his optics on the fight in front of him, just as the Matrix bearer ducked to the side from being grabbed by his opponent, earning a pleased sound from the other former gladiator in the room.

“See? You got it this time, I knew you could do it!” he praised his lover loudly, and the Prime perked up, finally getting positive feedback. He couldn’t help shooting his partner a beaming smile; that distraction caused him to miss the two cables sneaking in from his sides, looping around his neck and dragging him down right into Soundwave’s pointy knee joint.

Megatron watched the Autobot go down again, letting out a loud ex-vent of exasperation. 

“We will have to work on that…” he muttered, before he called out to the TIC to step off from the other’s helm. The blue bot complied, but not before grinding his pede a little bit harder, earning a hiss of pain from Optimus. The Autobot leader pulled himself up, wiping his faceplates from the dirt yet again that day, as he turned angrily, clearly annoyed at his progres being thrown back into his face so swiftly.

“Again,” the silver mech announced again, before he turned to address Jazz, who had been joined by Bulkhead and Miko in the meantime, both cringing away at the last maneuver.

“When I said I am carrying, I didn’t mean it in a ‘I am holding Silverlight and that prevents me from participating’,” he started, before he smiled widely, tapping his chest once again, saying “I meant it as ‘there is another sparkling growing in there and the medics would not let me live it down if I jeopardized its well-being like that’.” 

Rung sat there, observing the entire exchange with a conflicted expression. He had been privy to that information quite early on, having his access to some of the patient’s medical files; it wasn’t easy to miss the ‘warning: actively carrying - medication to be reviewed’ pop-up flashing across the registry, awaiting the acknowledgement from the other staff. 

Knock Out was so tired that day, that they just told him to go take a long, relaxing ride with Breakdown - away from the Nemesis.

Judging by the lack of surprise on Optimus's end, he must have already known the good news.

Looking at Soundwave, it was quite obvious the TIC knew of it too - and was doing his best to show his displeasure at the apparently insatiable sire.

However, looking back at the other Autobots, it was quite clear that their leader hadn't shared the good news, and Ratchet would have blasted Pharma's spike off if he tried to break patient confidentiality to tell them.

“You just had one come out from you, how did you manage to get sparked up again so quickly?” Jazz questioned in disbelief, staring at the warlord in both anger and wonder. Megatron shrugged, unconcerned.

"No idea, to be honest, we still haven't figured out precisely how I got sparked the first time around," he said, looking fondly at Silverlight basking in the heat coming from his chassis. He smirked, as he added in a theatrical whisper:

"But well… Optimus is rather enthusiastic…"

Elita broke the datapad in her servo. Prowl stopped typing at the console, as he turned to look in the direction of the training field.

Jazz stared at the warlord blankly, before he slowly turned his helm to look at the Prime, before he asked in a mild tone:

"Those practice sessions… Can anyone join in?"

The Decepticon leader grinned before he stretched his servo to the datapad at his side, powering it up. He passed it to the SIC after opening a schedule, where the sessions against his conjunx were planned out for the next few weeks.

"Just leave a few for Soundwave - we are finally seeing progress," he chuckled, amused at the furious expression as the mech started to add his name in.

"Write me in for a few, too," added Elita, throwing out the broken pieces of the pad she crushed moments before, and standing menacingly at the edge of the field where Optimus was by then venting hard, struggling to keep his hold of the data cables secure.

Both of the Autobot SICs had something to say about the irresponsibility of their leader - they would be heard, no matter if the Prime wanted it or not.

Until then, they would stand there, consumed by anger of being out of the loop.

The warlord shook his helm when his conjunx glanced towards his lieutenants and faltered, ending with getting sent flying out of bounds. His companion was lovely, but he needed to learn that Soundwave does not let even the tiniest mistakes go.

As he granted Optimus a break, coaxing him close to take a look at his injuries to assess if they already needed Ratchet's support, he indulged the other with a nuzzle to the helm, EM field filled with happiness. Their sparkling chirped joyfully, and the Prime smiled at them both in spite of the aches from the merciless sparring, looping his servo around the warlord to pull him closer and steal a quick kiss.

The other occupants of the base were used to those displays of affection, but some of them couldn't help rolling their eyes (or optics) at that - these two could be obnoxiously sappy.

Not discouraged in the slightest, Megatron held his sparkling in between them, leaning into the embrace, as his other servo rested over his spark; no doubt already thinking about the new addition to their lives. 

How lucky were they to be blessed by this so quickly after the first miracle?

Rung felt his own spark ache, looking at the happy couple in silence. 

He couldn't warn them. 

He couldn't prepare them for it. 

There was no possibility of this situation being changed in any way, and telling them about it now would only invite more questions and despair, as they realize they won't be able to change anything.

The psychiatrist braced himself for the future: one where the bright ball of light under the silver plating - nestled currently against its carrier in its innocence, soaking the love of their creators - had no chance to survive long enough to reach emergence.

*******************

@transingthoseformers I am following up on my promise to myself

[inevitablemoment]

“say something.”

Word Count: 695

Warnings: Stillbirth/miscarriage (at 24 week gestation), starvation, eating disorder not otherwise specified, toxic family, body image struggles, marital estrangement

Fandom: Bright Lights, Big City

Pairings: Jamie Conway x Vicky Allagash

It feels good to slip back into this fandom after almost a year. I love this movie so much, and it deserves more love. This is actually a snippet from a future fic of mine, Brighter Than The Stars, following Jamie and Vicky’s journey to parenthood. As evidenced here, it’s not an easy road, but they will get there.

I recommend listening to “The First Cut Is The Deepest” by Sheryl Crow while reading this.

Enjoy!

————————

At first, Vicky thought that it would be a relief to finally be home. Now, she just wished that she was back in that damn hospital.

She still looked pregnant. Anyone who passed her by on the streets probably would place her at four months... if she had left the house at all. Hell, she hadn’t even left her bedroom.

Her stomach kept cramping up, sending her back to that horrible early morning with more effect than any time machine could have.

But sometimes, it was replaced by the hollowness of hunger. The kind of hunger that one would have from not eating anything in days.

Whenever Jamie tried to bring her food, she would only eat a few pieces unless he prodded her to eat more.

Any time she tried to sleep, she would either be greeted by a more macabre sight than what she had woken up to, or dream that she had miraculously given birth to a full-term baby that was waiting for her in the room across from hers.

And even though she asked Jamie to make sure that everyone knew to just let them grieve alone, Vicky's sisters and Irene had come on a so-called "condolence call."

While Phillipa’s attempts at consoling her were the most human that Vicky had ever remembered her eldest sister being, Leslie kept asking questions that a woman of her age (not to mention married with children of her own) should have known better than to ask, as well as lobbing passive aggressive remarks towards Jamie.

And her mother... well, Irene was still Irene.

Distant. Uncaring. Truly did not give a shit.

Vicky lifted her head from her pillow when she heard the door opening, seeing Jamie walk in.

He looked just as exhausted as she did, she realized.

Guilt curdled up in her empty belly as she thought, And because of me.

She turned away in shame. Despite the fact that she couldn’t keep their daughter alive in her womb, he was still worried about her and taking care of her.

Jamie carefully approached the bed, taking the hand that bore her wedding rings into both of his hands.

“Hey, Dottie,” he whispered.

The warmth of his hands over hers and the tenderness in his voice threatened to make tears well up in her eyes.

“Please... say something...” Jamie begged quietly. “You haven’t said a word all day.”

Vicky dared to look up at him. She opened her mouth to speak, but her voice sounded a little raspy from both not being used and from crying.

“I’m... I’m fine,” she said.

Liar.

"How's your stomach feeling?" Jamie asked.

“Fine,” she repeated, cringing at how she sounded like a broken record.

And then, she cringed again when she saw that her husband didn’t believe her.

"Come on, Vicky, you have to eat something," Jamie begged. "I can hear your stomach growling from the next room."

Vicky could feel another hunger pang coming, but she ignored it.

"I just... I don't feel like eating anything," she mumbled, despite the very obvious rumblings of her belly. “Just... please... I don’t wanna be alone right now.”

“Neither do I,” he admitted.

As he climbed to bed next to her, she turned onto her other side, wincing at moving so suddenly. Jamie's hands wandered over her belly, beginning to massage at the skin that was still stretched out from twenty-four weeks of pregnancy.

Vicky tensed up.

She knew that he was just trying to relieve the empty, hollow ache that came with an empty belly, but she wondered if he was hoping that he would somehow feel a kick, like she often did over the last week.

She flinched away from his touch and wrapped her arms around her stomach as if to protect herself.

“I don’t... I don’t want to really be touched right now,” she told him.

She could feel him withdrawing his hands away.

“Okay,” he acquiesced. “I... I understand.”

He sounded... hurt.

And scared.

Instead of their usual spooning cuddle, they fell asleep on opposite sides of the bed that night... the both of them hoping that they wouldn’t let it turn into a habit.

[sweetpascal]

— 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐫

pairing: general marcus acacius x fem!reader

summary: unsure of whether or not your husband is alive leading his army's invasion, the only method of tranquility is by reaching into your past memories as a necessary distraction.

warnings: MINORS DNI, wife!reader and husband!marcus, mentions of TW: miscarriages, (probably incorrect) roman history, mentions of TW: blood and death, making love, sweet nicknames (carissima/me - dearest, dulcissima/me - sweetest, meum cor - my heart, melculum - my little honey), marcus has a big dick, creampies, tender softness, probably ooc marcus ??

wc: 4.4k

notes: oh booyyyyyyy. so we all collectively agree that general marcus is scrum-diddly-umptious ?? all the pics, videos, and gifs dropping does not ease my obsession. so.. i turned my obsession into a work of art for all of you to read ^.^ idk squat about the roman times, but i did do my best to research !! divider from @saradika-graphics 🤍

main masterlist

follow @sweetpascal-notifs for future fic updates.

It seems like the days have been mixing in with each other the more time has passed. Unsure of which day started and which day ended, you lost track of time. It had been one month, maybe two at this point. The sun rose and set, the moon and stars following in tandem. It was almost like a dance. It was amusing, to say the least. It reminded you of your relationship with your husband. With the light color dress wraps and delicate gold jewelry you'd wear around your neck compared to his permanent scowl, it's clear to civilization who's the sun and who's the moon. But you both complement each other in more ways than one.

You're able to calm him down with a simple touch on his arm, causing his boisterous voice to quiet down and his heart to steady its pace. Marcus' presence looming behind you around others, everyone already knows how dangerous he can become if someone even looks at his wife the wrong way.

Now, without his presence and his voice and his touch, nothing feels real. Pacing around in the dining hall of your home, you rubbed your hands tenderly over your barely-there baby bump over your soft blue wrap dress that Marcus surprised you with the last time he had come home from a previous battle for more land. He had won, of course, because General Marcus Acacius never loses. The mere thought of him losing a battle led by him with his army in tow is one of your greatest fears as his wife.

Staying inside your home and wallowing in your fears was no good for you and your unborn child. You couldn't go through the stress of worrying after your husband and deal with another heartbreaking loss alone. The night that Marcus had come back, you had broken down in front of him, shakily telling him through your thick tears that you had lost your son.

"A son?" He had quietly asked you, his eyes wide and heartbreaking.

"The teller that settles by the river," you told him with a broken voice. "She had confirmed it with her readings."

You remember it clearly as day; the look on his face equivalent to that of a broken man. You had choked on your tears, begging for his forgiveness for not being more careful, for not being a dutiful mother that was supposed to protect their child. You had knelt down in front of him, grabbing his knees and pleading to him and the gods for forgiveness and punishment, your hands pressed together in a prayer.

"Carissima," he had whispered quietly to you, slowly getting down onto his knees to remove your tight hold on his dirtied pteruges. His hands, trembling and unsteady, tenderly hold your cheeks to look into your heartbroken eyes. "I shall never strike a hand upon you, need you deserve it or not. I shall never lay blame on something the gods have brutally stolen from us. Oh, my dearest wife." His last whisper had you gripping onto his arms and crying your heart out into his shoulder. He said nothing more, nothing else. On the ground that day, all he did was hold you, and that was more than what you needed.

Breaking out of that distressing memory, you busied yourself with around-the-house distractions. In your hands was a handmade wicker basket you had purchased at one of the markets. The owner was a sweet, older woman that knew of your reputation amongst the others. She always treated you with kindness and looked at you with excitement every time you came by and not fear. She also gifted you a handmade blanket sewn with intricate patterns of the moon and sun.

"I gift this to you as a thank you for your kindness," she had said, pushing the blanket further into your hands when you had protested. She lay a wrinkly finger against her lips and drooped her eye to a wink.

Stepping outside with the wicker basket in your arms, you traveled a short distance to a small pond with many bushes, trees, and delicate flowers all around. This was your happy place. And this was also where you and Marcus had made love for the first time so long ago. The tree, the rock, the patch of grass. All of it held a distinct memory of your first time. Thinking back to it brings a smile to your lips.

"Tell me to stop, and I will. Tell me to stop right now and I shall go back to where I rest and I will not pursue you any longer," Marcus had told you breathlessly against your jaw. He had you laid on the soft grass underneath the moon, the light shining against the pond in a way that makes the gentle movements look like glitter. Your dress was hiked up around your hips as he rested heavily between your trembling thighs, your hands squeezing on his strong biceps that flexed in response to your sizzling touch.

"Marcus," you sighed prettily in his ear, and it sounded like the sweetest song he has honor of ever hearing. "My need for you has not gone away. It will not go away unless you take me right here, under the moon and stars, until I'm singing for you in pleasure."

The look in his eyes was that of desperate hunger and wanton need. When he had slid himself into your cunt for the first time, all of your prayers to the gods have been finally answered. Marcus was made to be yours. And you were made to be his. Hushed moans and frantic thrusts, Marcus fucked like how others perceived himself – like a barbarian. Some women would disagree and find it appalling and dirty, but it was perfection. He wasn't scared to touch you. He touched you as though if he were to let go you would float away, for he would no longer be able to taste you on his tongue or feel your tight warmth wrapped around his thick cock.

A touch to your shoulder had you gasping and dropping the basket onto the ground. You spun around and laid a hand on your chest and one on your bump, staring at the poor maid that scared you accidentally.

"I deeply apologize for frightening you, miss," she stares at you with her hands up in defense as though she was staring at a frightening animal backed into a corner. "General Marcus has arrived and he asks for your presence in your bedroom."

"No, no, it's quite alright, dear. My head was in the clouds again," you offer her a gentle smile and a brief laugh, laying a hand lightly on her shoulder to ease her worries. "And Marcus, is he...?"

The young maid recognized your worry and shook her head as an answer to your unspoken question. You hand her the wicker basket of plucked fruits from the bushes and politely tell her to wash and ready them, and to bring them to your bedroom when the task is done. She nodded and hurried off immediately.

You carefully, but also hurriedly, made your way into your home. Nodding and giving polite smiles to the people inside, you walk up the spiral marble stairs. When you reached the top, there stood a statue of yourself sitting atop a stone with a statue of hour husband on his knees and his lips pressed to your knees. There were intricate details in the statue, like of Marcus' fingers gripping your thighs or the soft rolls of your body. Your husband preferred a large home such as this for his growing family. You preferred something quainter and more personal, but what your husband says, goes. You recognized his large, dirty footprints leading to your bedroom, another young maid already on her knees scrubbing the stains.

"Aureia, there's no need for that," you tut softly at the young girl, and she looks up at you with wide eyes. "Leave that alone for now, alright? As for this moment, will you please gather the others and bring pails of hot water for a bath?"

"Right away," she nodded and hurried off. It brings a smile to your face at how eager the young maids are to please. Unlike the other men and women that have maids in their homes, you treated yours like people. They respect you and in return, you respect them. Marcus used to disagree until he remembered how you grew up when it was just you and your widowed mother, along with the reputation of being poor. Realizing that you see yourself in these young maids, your husband made it a point to allow you to be in charge of them and do whatever you see fit. Having that much power can be overwhelming, only because of the fear of having your kind heart be taken advantage of. But those that work for and with you know to never cross you, for they'll have to deal with the consequences your husband has waiting for them.

When you entered your private bedroom, there he sat, still dressed from head to toe in his armor. He sits with his back facing the door, his sights focused on the large window that overlooks the garden which circles around the empty thermae. You slowly move around the bed and finally stand before him, essentially blocking his view of the window. Marcus doesn't look up at you just yet. So, you stay silent and let him do what he needs to, let him think what he needs to think.

His hands, still caked with dirt, grime, and dried blood, move up to your stomach. Your bump is within his line of sight. Both of his hands rest on either side, feeling the firmness and shape of the bump. You watch as his eyes shut and his jaw clenches. His face was also caked with dirt, grime, and dried blood. The ends of his hair are curled with sweat from the heat of his long journey back home to his family. Marcus says nothing when you stroke his jaw silently. Neither of you register the door opening and four maids coming in one by one to empty two pails each of hot water into the tub that sits in the corner of the room. They know better than to interrupt.

When the door shuts, Marcus moves to rest his head against your bump. His ear is pressed into your soft flesh through the dress adorning your body. He can faintly hear the thumping of your heart and that brings him back down to earth, back home to you. Your hands, warm and gentle, card through his messy, graying curls. Damp with dirt and sweat, you don't care. Feeling him right here, right now, was all that mattered.

"It's over," he finally speaks, his voice rough and low. His hands move down to find a home on your wide hips, fingers just barely digging into the shape. "The war is over. I made sure of it." And he leaves it at that.

Your eyes shut and you let out a sigh of mixed relief and heartache. You couldn't imagine what your husband had to go through, as a leader, to make sure that he and his army of men make it out alive. You couldn't imagine the number of bodies that are lying out there, hundreds of miles away, torn apart and bled out, mangled flesh and bone. You couldn't imagine your husband possibly being one of them. Bending down as best as you could, you tenderly wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders and kissed the back of his head. You briefly sniffed his hair and pulled back.

"Let's get you inside the bath, hm?" You whispered softly, hands lovingly scratching at his scruffy jaw as you pulled his head up to look into your eyes.

When he stands, you almost forgot how imposing he was. His height was a strong factor. The bloodied armor he wears makes him look much broader and more dangerous. The exhausted look on his face makes him look much more mean – evil, even. But he's neither of those things, at least not to you. He stands as still as a tree as you begin to unclip and pull off his armor one by one. From the thick leather chest plate bound with protective metal underneath, all the way down to the thick leather arm-wear covering his forearms. Unsheathing his sword from its belt, you unclip that from around his waist as well. Having done this a million times, it's muscle memory.

He stands before you, naked, dirty, and exhausted. You reach behind your neck and slowly untie your dress wrap. It pools at your feet, your naked body now on display for him to see after months apart. Marcus' eyes take in every detail. The delicacy of your collarbones, your perky breasts, the curve of your growing belly, the soft curls of your pubic hair, those thighs that Marcus loves being in between, all the way down to the dangling anklet he gifted you.

"Come on," you whisper softly and take his hand to lead him to the filled tub. Steam sits above the water and Marcus' aching muscles scream out to it.

He enters first, hissing at first from the heat but then moaning gruffly once he sinks further into the hot water. Almost immediately, his sore muscles begin to relax. He could fall asleep right this instant. He feels a gentle push on his shoulder. He scoots forward and allows you to enter behind him.

"What are you doing, dear wife?" He doesn't hear an answer to his question. He's about to turn his body, but then he feels your hands massaging his tender scalp and washing his dirty hair. His eyes shut almost instantly, and he groans huskily with parted lips.

You wanted to laugh at his reaction but decided against it. Marcus never had time to relax and wind down. He was always on his feet, always discussing the next steps of battle, always readying his army men with hardcore training. It pained you to see him like this, especially at a distance. He never wanted you around to witness his leadership. Not wanting to induce stress onto you early on in your pregnancy, not wanting a repeat of your last pregnancy, he had given you strict instructions to let him handle everything.

"Meum cor, you do so good with taking care of your husband," Marcus quietly tells him, his entire body shuddering when your nails tenderly scrape the sensitive parts of his scalp. "I know the other men are envious of the treatment I receive from such a divine woman."

"Mm, I know, my love," softly laughing at his goading. You reached over the side of the tub to grab a small wooden bowl. Using that to pour water onto his soapy curls, you gently tipped his head back and did just that. You kissed the side of his head and gently cleaned away the dirt and grime on his beautifully tan skin. You paid extra attention by lovingly kissing the scar on his right cheek.

For the next hour, you put all your focus into washing his body. No longer was he a filthy barbarian. No, he was now your clean, fresh smelling husband. His damp hair curled elegantly behind his ears and neck. You had maneuvered onto his lap to focus on his front. There were more prominent bruises on his chest and arms, as well as some cuts that have begun its healing process. You gave him a small pout, to which he tuts and lovingly cups your chin between his thumb and forefinger.

"I could ride into the sun and still come back to you in one piece, meum cor," he tells you quietly, moving his face much closer and shifting you to sit comfortably on his lap. "No man, no sword, no army could ever strike me down and take me from you."

Holding onto his scruffy jaw and peering into those dark chocolate eyes of his, he looks at you with such tenderness that no stranger will ever witness. Your bump is resting against his own stomach, and he feels every breath you exhale. Heads lean closer, his aquiline nose resting on the side of yours, lips just a hair away. There's distant chatter outside in the gardens, the curtains swaying gently from the warm breeze coming through the open windows. The water in the tub is still warm and steaming, the clearness of it was now murky from the dirt you cleaned from his aching body. You have half a mind to drain the tub and call out for more pails of fresh hot water, but you're so comfortable and safe in the arms of your husband.

"Do you recall the night I took you underneath the stars?" Marcus asks you huskily, both hands gripping your hips, strong fingers digging into your plushy flesh. He forces your hips closer to his, thick thighs tensing underneath your own. "The way you begged me to keep going, even when it began to rain down upon us."

Your lips parted to elicit a soft gasp when you felt his hardness on your thigh, thickening and rising with each second that passed. You do remember that night like it was yesterday. The soft rain pattering on your naked, writhing bodies. Your nails had dug deep into his skin to keep him from moving away. You had cried out to the gods for more, more, more.

"I do believe I may have scars from those nails of yours," Marcus joked lightly against your jaw, pressing a kiss to the bone with his plush lips.

Giggling quietly in his ear, you held his head close to your chest as his kisses traveled south. "I do believe you're creating tales, carissime."

He hums disapprovingly, holding you tighter on his lap when you shift. The steam from the water made his skin feel sticky and warm. You tasted salt on your tongue when you kissed below his ear. It was intoxicating, to say the least. Tasting him, trailing your tongue all over his molten hot skin, licking over his scars and freckles. There was a quiet minute when you both looked into each other's eyes again. Marcus can see the light hasn't died. He can see the adoration you have for him in the way your pupils dilate, and breathing quicken. And you can feel the love Marcus has for you in the way his eyes get slightly wide as he takes in your features, most likely mapping out which ones he hopes your unborn child takes from the both of you.

"Take us to bed, meum cor," you beg him. No longer able to keep looking at your handsome husband and not do anything about it, you leave it all up to him.

Without another word, Marcus stands with a hoarse grunt. With one strong arm wrapped tight (but not too tight) around your waist and his other hand under your thigh to keep you up and against his body, he steps over the tub and makes his way over to the bed. Neither of you care if your wet bodies are soaking the sheets. As he lays you down and rests on top of you, nothing else matters at this moment.

"Melculum, you look like a goddess with the sunlight kissing your naked skin," he whispers to you, lowering his head to kiss at your breasts and collarbones. You gasped and arched your back, further pressing your breasts into his mouth, to which he sucks a sensitive nipple between those lips.

Marcus rests on his forearms on either side of your head with his big hands tenderly cupping the crown. Your feet teasingly trail up and down the backs of his thighs, and you feel his hardness twitch between your bodies. Whispering his name in a needy voice, he looks up at you and catches the look in your half-lidded eyes. The flush on your skin makes your skin glow. He would never disrespect his gods and goddesses, but Aphrodite does have a competition on her hands.

Feeling too eager, you take charge and yank his neck down to finally kiss him. After months of not feeling his body, hands, and lips on yours, you powered all your emotions in this kiss. It was messy and desperate and hard. Tongue, teeth, garbled whimpers and heavy breaths. Marcus suckled at your bottom lip, letting it snap back against your teeth to then suck and bite at your neck. Your hips were shifting to slot his hard cock between the silky lips of your wet cunt. Grinding up and down, the thick vein that rests on his hardness glides easily against your swelling clit.

"Marcus," you weep quietly in his ear. "Oh, my husband. I need you more than life itself. Oh, you're the bravest, strongest soldier known to man. You're so... powerful, so dangerous. You keep your family and your people safe, my love." Saying this all while you're grinding your sweet cunt up and down the length of his hardness has Marcus growing erratic by the second.

He looks down between your bodies. Your cunt lips open like the blooming petals of the sweetest flower. The soft dark curls of your pubic hair rubbing against his own. Your small belly bump that keeps your unborn child safe and sound. Marcus uses his thumb to guide himself inside your cunt, breathing shallowly when the warm tightness sucks him in, inch by inch. Your mouth falls open to let out quiet, needy moans.

"There we go, melculum," Marcus grunts lowly in your ear, lowering his hips further down into yours and his thick cock slides deeper inside your leaking hole. The heat, wetness, and tightness of your cunt has him spiraling already. The knot in the pit of his stomach further unraveling the deeper he gets. "You were made for me," he breathes deeply, the heat of his breath fanning over your sensitive neck.

When he starts fucking into you, he was mindful to not rest his entire weight on your belly. He repositioned himself in a way that had his back curving to drive his hips deeper, faster, and harder into your own. The action had you arching and gasping. Your soft breasts and feet bounced gently from the movements. Marcus lovingly strokes down your temples with his thumbs and kisses you hard once again. Your fingers curl into his hair, now drying and curling beautifully. He looks like a god. It makes you want to cry. But then, his cock starts punching against the one spot that makes you scream.

"Oh! Marcus!" You yelped, eyebrows furrowed and lifted up as your mouth fell open and moans started pouring out. "Right there! Right... there. Ri-ight the-ere!"

He slows his thrusts until he's grinding so deep and so slow. Your moans turned into whimpers. He was able to hear the sloppy noises of your cunt soaking around his hardness. He grins down at you, his dimple deepening when you twitch and writhe.

"So beautiful," he whispers against your jaw. "So ethereal underneath me, writhing and begging for my cock." Marcus sharply drives his cock into your cunt unexpectedly. You let out a long, wanton wail that has his grin widening. He does it again, and again, and again. It was driving you absolutely crazy.

Your slick is most likely dripping out of your hole and onto Marcus' balls which slap against you. You can practically feel the weight of them, so heavy and full of two months' worth of cum. He drags his cock in and out of you slowly now, allowing you to feel every vein and every inch. Your thighs spread wide for him, eager for more. He answered your silent pleas and fucked you at a quicker pace again.

"Wrap your arms around me, Marcus. Oh, please, please, please!" You sobbed quietly, tears prickling at the corner of your eyes. He follows immediately. His strong arms wrap under your back and he rests some of his weight onto your front. Your thighs widen to accommodate his size, allowing his cock to nudge deeper in a way that steals your breath. "Just... like... that," you whimpered after each thrust Marcus gives.

He feels dizzy and overwhelmed in a good way. The smell of the homemade soap on your skin, the softness and warmth of your naked skin against his, your sweet moans like a pretty song in his ears, the slick tightness of your cunt sucking him in repeatedly. Feeling, smelling, and hearing all of these at once was enough to finally let him spill out his moans without holding back. His chest vibrates against your bare breasts with each grunt that passes his kissed-raw lips. The vibrations on your sensitive nipples tickled you erotically.

"You are intoxicating," he moans heavily against your sticky skin, his scruff scraping deliciously and his lips and teeth leaving little love bites. "Non possum satis de te." I cannot get enough of you.

With your eyes rolling back and your thighs trembling around his wide hips, you simply cannot control what your body does. Marcus catches you off guard by messily kissing you, his tongue intertwining with your own, tasting each other's saliva. The taste of him had you whining into his mouth. There was a faintness of wine on his tongue. Although you obviously couldn't drink while you bear his child, the lingering taste of it on your husband's tongue was enough to drive you wild. Your hands, originally placed on his shoulder blades, trail down to his tapered waist and finally cling onto his perky bottom. You squeeze the tender flesh and briefly dig your nails into the skin, feeling the muscles clench and unclench with every roll of his hips and cock driving into your cunt.

"Tu parum desperatus es, huh?" Marcus' voice sounded cocky and the grin on his face didn't help. You're a desperate little thing, huh?

One of the things that made your husband a respected leader was his arrogance was never wrongfully directed. He loved to gloat, about anything and everything. But when it came to you, his wife, his ego inflates to the point of popping.

That's when you felt it. The coil in the pit of your stomach gets tighter and tighter, forcing your gooey walls to twitch around Marcus' thickness. He moans lowly at the feeling of it. He hooks one of your thighs over his arm, bracing your knee into your chest to fuck you deeply. The position change had you shuddering, more slick leaking out and staining the sheets below your bodies.

"I'm... I'm... fuuuck!" With one final cry out to the gods, you scratched down Marcus' skin and braced yourself for impact.

Your orgasm washed over you like one of the strongest ocean waves known to man. Your body wouldn't stop twitching and writhing underneath his massive body. The squeezing tightness of your cunt wouldn't let your husband fuck you any longer. He drops down and lets out a final rough grunt before spilling inside of you. He has a entire body shiver as his cock twitches repeatedly, his thick cum spilling out every few seconds. It finally stopped after a whole minute; yes, you were counting. The tickle of his cum hitting you deep inside had you giggling drowsily.

"You should be thanking your husband for giving you a well-needed release, not laughing at him," he hums against your skin, the vibrations of his voice and bristles of his scruff tickling you further, causing you to laugh louder. He feels your belly jumping from your shaking body and he can't help but to smile.

Being in the arms of his wife after a long journey of war and death, there really is no place like home.

[aphroditelovesu]

Hello, can you do a headcannon Yandere (father) King Henry and Yandere (mother) Anna Boleyn with their only surviving son?

❝ 👑 — lady l: I really like the idea of ​​them being platonic yanderes for a son, so I hope you like it! Forgive me for any mistakes and good reading! ❤️

❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, overprotection, mention of miscarriages, murder and implied cheating and toxic relationships.

❝👑pairing: platonic yandere!henry viii/anne boleyn x son!reader.

Anne was desperate to conceive a male heir, her only hope of staying alive and maintaining the interest of the King who, after some miscarriages and the birth of a daughter, has already began to wander towards one of her ladies-in-waiting.

So when she discovered a new pregnancy, she desperately prayed for a son and that she wouldn't suffer another miscarriage. She could not bear the loss and pain. Henry was pleased with the new pregnancy, but worried. Anne had already had several miscarriages and was only able to produce one healthy child, a daughter.

Anne took great care of herself during her pregnancy, taking care of what she ate and drank and trying to maintain good health. The first few months were the most tense, with fear enveloping both Anne and Henry. As the pregnancy progressed and there was no miscarriage, Anne became more confident.

When the day finally arrived to give birth, she was anxious. Henry was also anxious and he was so nervous when he heard Anne screaming outside the room, he didn't know what to think. When a baby's cries finally came after what seemed like hours, he entered the room.

Anne held her baby on her lap and cried softly and when a doctor approached Henry and said, "Congratulations, Your Majesty. You have an heir", it was the first time that Henry felt complete happiness. When he picked you up, he was smiling from ear to ear. Not only were you the much-desired male heir but you also saved your mother's head.

Both of them would be extremely overprotective of their only son and those close to you will be scrutinized. Henry has become very paranoid about your safety and takes every precaution possible.

You are always by your mother or father's side, you cannot be alone at any time with a stranger. Anne, especially, would like to keep you sewn to her side all the time. She cares about you a lot and is always checking up on you. When you get sick, she becomes paranoid that you will die.

You are your parents' greatest pride and Henry doesn't try to hide it. He neglects all his other children and gives you all his love and affection. He takes you for walks, hunting and spoils you with all the perks that a future King deserves. In addition to showing you off before the Court. After all, you are the future King.

They are both very proud of anything you do. Any milestone, no matter how small, will be applauded by them. Your first words, the first time you walked and everything else will be treated with great celebration. Expensive parties are thrown in your honor all the time.

As you grow up, they become even more overprotective and controlling. Anne does not want you to leave the Court under any circumstances and Henry allows you to do so, but only with many guards. There were many threats lurking and they couldn't let anything happen to you. May God forbid anything from happening to you as the results will be disastrous.

Anne hates it when you spend time with other people, especially if they are women. The only women you need in your life are your mother and your older sister, Elizabeth. Although she understands that's a part of a man's life, she still doesn't like it and any potential mistress or love interest will be dealt with quickly. She is your mother, so no one has more right to you than her.

Henry is more than aware of his wife's actions and although he doesn't encourage them, he doesn't reprimand her. In fact, he's probably the one who encourages you to enjoy your life even if it always leads to fights with Anne. It was worth it when you looked happy. And your happiness is very important to him.

Your potential friends will be scrutinized and if your parents don't like them, they will leave. Henry and Anne won't sentence them to death at first, but if you or they are stubborn, they will be tried for treason. Don't you understand that you shouldn't trust anyone other than your own family? Your parents are the only ones who want the best for you.

Henry and Anne are smothering and protective parents but they only have your best interests at heart. They want you to live a full and happy life, but with them by your side. You were everything they both wanted and they would be damned if they let anything happen to you. England still does not know the fury of its monarchs nor the overwhelming love they feel for their only son.

[astromancy-divinare]

Every relationship & marriage you'll ever have is predestined in your natal chart. Don't believe me?

Here are the 7 Upapada Lagnas that accurately describe each of Elizabeth Taylor's 7 marriages from her sidereal natal chart.

Elizabeth Taylor was technically married 8 times but she had 7 husbands. She married actor Richard Burton twice.

The Upapada Lagna is a Vedic astrology technique that reveals details about your future marriage. Your Upapada Lagna can tell you how you'll meet your spouse, what the quality of the marriage will be, whether or not you'll have children together and the longevity of the marriage. This technique is best used in the sidereal natal chart, also known as the D1 natal chart. You must use Whole Sign house system.

To find the first Upapada Lagna in Elizabeth Taylor's D1 natal chart, we locate how many houses away the 12th house lord is from the 12th house. Her 12th house is in Libra. Venus is in the 5th house, so the 12th house lord is 6 houses away. We then count 6 houses from the 12th house lord in the 5th house and end up in Leo in the 10th house.

In Vedic astrology lagna is another word for ascendant, therefore the Upapada Lagna is considered to be the "1st house" of the marriage. We can move the house the Upapada Lagna is in to the 1st house position by selecting it in the 1st House From option above the chart on Astro-Seek.com. The natal chart will then be turned and we'll be able to read this "new chart" to get information regarding her first marriage.

TW: Mention of DV and miscarriage.

1st Upapada Lagna: Leo 10H

First husband: Conrad "Nicky" Hilton Jr. Wedding: May 6, 1950

Neptune is in the Upapada Lagna in Leo: Nicky was a violent alcoholic, which Elizabeth didn't discover until shortly after they got married. The way he portrayed himself beforehand was an illusion. Neptune = addiction & illusion.

Neptune is opposing Sun in the 7th house: The marriage was a disappointment that left Elizabeth feeling disillusioned.

Neptune is opposing Mars in the 7th house: Nicky was very insecure, which made him act aggressively to make up for it.

Malefic planets Sun and Mars are in the 7th house: Divorce indicator.

7th house lord is in the 6th house: Divorce indicator.

5th house lord is in the 12th house: Elizabeth suffered a miscarriage after Nicky kicked her in the stomach. 5th house = children. 12th house = loss.

The house next to the Upapada Lagna shows the longevity of the marriage.

Ketu is in the next house in Virgo: This is a divorce indicator. Ketu is considered to be a malefic planet because it represents detachment.

2nd Upapada Lagna: Pisces 5H

Second husband: Michael Wilding Wedding: February 21, 1952

To find the next Upapada Lagna we count 8 houses away from the first Upapada Lagna and end up in Pisces in the 5th house.

Rahu is in the Upapada Lagna in Pisces: Rahu can represent a spouse from a foreign country. Michael was from England. Having Rahu in the Upapada Lagna is also an indicator of divorce.

Uranus is conjunct Venus in the Upapada Lagna in Pisces: This conjunction can indicate that there was something unusual about the marriage. Michael was 20 years older than her. She was 20 when they got married.

Ketu is in the 7th house: Divorce indicator.

4th house lord is in the 12th house: Divorce indicator.

Cancer is in the 5th house with Jupiter: Elizabeth gave birth to two sons. 5th house = children, Jupiter = male offspring.

5th house lord is in the 8th house: Elizabeth had a cesarean section for both of her pregnancies. 8th house = surgery.

1st house lord is in the 5th house: This marriage was destined to produce children.

The house next to the Upapada Lagna shows the longevity of the marriage.

2nd house lord is in the 12th house: Divorce indicator.

3rd Upapada Lagna: Libra 12H

Third husband: Mike Todd Wedding: February 2, 1957

Moon is in the Upapada Lagna in Libra: This was a happy, loving marriage. Moon is the lord of the 10th house, which means they were both very loyal and dedicated to each other.

8th house lord, Venus, is in the 6th house conjunct Uranus: The 6th house is associated with the loss of marriage because it's 12 houses away from the 7th house. The 8th house is associated with sudden events and death. The 8th house lord is conjunct Uranus in the 6th house, which indicates that the marriage ended suddenly and unexpectedly. The marriage ended when Mike was killed in a plane crash.

Sun, Mars and Mercury are in the 5th house in Aquarius: Elizabeth gave birth to a daughter in this marriage. The 5th house lord is in Capricorn, which indicates that the child born from this marriage would be a girl. Sun and Mars in the 5th house represent Elizabeth's two sons from her previous marriage. The 9th house represents the third child and its lord Mercury is also in the 5th house, representing her daughter from this marriage.

The house next to the Upapada Lagna shows the longevity of the marriage.

2nd house lord is in the 5th house: Mars is the lord of the 2nd house and it's in the 5th house conjunct Mercury. Mars is the significator for accidents and Mercury is the significator for air travel = The marriage ended when Mike was killed in a plane crash.

4th Upapada Lagna: Taurus 7H

Fourth husband: Eddie Fisher Wedding: May 12, 1959

Upapada Lagna lord, Venus, is in the 11th house conjunct Uranus: The 11th house is considered to be the 5th house from the 7th house and therefore can represent affairs. This marriage began as an affair after Elizabeth's third husband died. She and her third husband Mike Todd were friends with Eddie Fisher and his wife Debbie Reynolds (Carrie Fisher's parents, AKA Princess Leia). After Mike died, Eddie comforted Elizabeth and it resulted in them having an affair. Eddie quickly divorced Debbie and married Elizabeth.

Upapada Lagna lord, Venus, is in the 11th house squaring the 7th house co-lord Pluto in the 2nd house: Pluto represents sex, secrets, death and transformation. And the house next to the Upapada Lagna shows the longevity of the marriage, so to have Pluto in that house shows that this marriage began as an affair due to the death of Elizabeth's previous husband, but it also shows that this marriage ended because of an affair Elizabeth had later on with her next husband Richard Burton.

7th house co-lord Ketu is in the 5th house and its dispositor Mercury is in the 10th house: Elizabeth's affair with Eddie Fisher and later her affair with Richard Burton were both VERY public and much talked about.

Ketu is in Virgo in the 5th house: Ketu in the 5th house can indicate adoption and having Mercury or Saturn as the 5th house lord can also indicate adoption. Elizabeth began the process to adopt an orphaned girl from Germany while she was still married to Eddie. She completed the adoption process with her next husband Richard Burton.

5th Upapada Lagna: Sagittarius 2H

Fifth husband: Richard Burton Wedding: March 15, 1964

Upapada Lagna is in Sagittarius: This can indicate a spouse from a foreign country. Richard was from Wales.

Saturn is in Capricorn in the house next to the Upapada Lagna: Saturn can make the couple stay together for a long time when it's in the house next to the Upapada Lagna, especially when it's in the sign it rules. This was Elizabeth's longest marriage. They were married for 10 years and then divorced in 1974 but remarried in 1975 and divorced for the final time in 1976. This Upapada Lagna represents both marriages because Elizabeth wasn't with anyone else in between.

This Upapada Lagna is in Elizabeth's natal 2nd house: This shows that her affair with Richard Burton was the cause for her last marriage with Eddie Fisher ending.

Pluto is in the 7th house in Gemini: This can indicate a powerful and intoxicating romance that is also prone to major transformative highs and lows. Elizabeth had a tumultuous yet passionate relationship with Richard. They had irresistible chemistry with each other. Richard was the second love of her life after Mike Todd who died in a plane crash.

4th house lord is in the 8th house: Divorce indicator.

6th house lord is in the 4th house: Divorce indicator.

6th Upapada Lagna: Cancer 9H

Sixth husband: John Warner Wedding: December 4, 1976

Upapada Lagna lord is in the 4th house: This placement indicates there being a necessity to keep the identity and personality of the marriage and/or spouses private. John Warner was a senator for Virginia at the time and Elizabeth was told to "tone down" her personality and the way she presented herself for the sake of his political career. She was told to get rid of her yacht and Rolls-Royce and to change the way she dressed. She was specifically told to never wear her favorite color purple because it represented royalty and she wasn't supposed to outshine John.

Neptune is in the house next to the Upapada Lagna: Having to fill the role of a senator's supportive wife and hob-knob in Washington D.C. made her incredibly depressed and disillusioned. Elizabeth later said that being a senator's wife turned her into a "drunk and a junkie." Neptune = alcohol/drugs/addiction.

Saturn is in the 7th house in Capricorn: Elizabeth wanted someone to help her get over Richard Burton and she thought she wanted the "normal" life of a farmer's wife (John had a farm) but she soon realized that lifestyle was incredibly restrictive. The marriage felt very Saturnian.

6th house lord is in the Upapada Lagna: This marriage was mostly for the benefit of John's career because Elizabeth brought him a lot more attention and star power. He needed her help in his 1978 bid for Virginia's U.S. Senate seat. Voters clamored to meet her at political rallies.

8th house lord is in the 7th house: Divorce indicator.

2nd house lord is conjunct a malefic planet: Divorce indicator.

7th Upapada Lagna: Aquarius 4H

Seventh husband: Larry Fortensky Wedding: October 6, 1991

Upapada Lagna is in natal 4th house: This was Elizabeth's last marriage, so it's fitting that the Upapada Lagna is in her natal 4th house because the 4th house represents "the end."

Neptune is in the 7th house: Larry was a construction worker that Elizabeth met in rehab. Neptune = addiction.

Malefic planets Sun and Mars are in the Upapada Lagna and are opposing Neptune in the 7th house: Having malefic planets in the Upapada Lagna can create obstacles in the marriage that lead to divorce. Sun and Mars are opposing Neptune in the 7th house = Elizabeth got a divorce because Larry started drinking again and her friends were unimpressed by him.

Saturn is in the 12th house: Elizabeth and Larry met at rehab. The theme of their marriage was trying to stay sober. Saturn = restriction, 12th house = addiction.

Rahu is in the house next to the Upapada Lagna: Divorce indicator.

Uranus conjunct Venus is in the house next to the Upapada Lagna: The differences between Elizabeth and Larry in age, career and life experiences were too vast and too many, which also led them to divorce.

I'm now including a detailed analysis of your Upapada Lagnas in my Future Spouse readings for an additional $5USD!

Future Spouse reading is now $30USD and explains:

If you have placements that promise marriage.

If you have indicators of divorce.

If you have indicators of having more than one marriage.

The characteristics of your future spouse(s) and how/where you'll most likely meet them.

Your most promising Dasha periods for getting married, including the dates when transiting Jupiter and transiting Saturn will aspect the necessary houses and/or planets in your D1 natal chart to activate marriage during a promising Dasha period.

If you would also like to know the approximate year and dates when you'll most likely meet your future spouse(s), it's an additional $15USD.

All of my readings are typed in report format and emailed to you in a PDF file.

DM me if you're interested 💕

[timdrakesbussy]

Some of my™ Stardew Valley HCs

TW: mention of miscarriages

Emily listens to all kinds of music but despite not looking like it, she mainly listens to heavy metal. It's one of the thing that brought her and Shane's early friendship together. And because of that, Haley shares a bit of fondness to the genre that she enjoys Sam's band (but don't tell him. this will mess with her rep).

Sam is pretty educated when it comes to literature, and English was always his favorite subject when he was in school. He's the main songwriter of his band and while Sebastian could also write, Sam manages to be witty and clever with his lyrics. Other than storytelling through song, he loves his double and triple entendres. Suffice to say, he could get along pretty well with Elliott and it's one of the reason why Penny loves hanging out with him.

Ever since she was a child, Maru thinks that Sebastian is really cool and she wants to be like him one way or another. Of course, she still wants to be herself but Sebastian is just so damn cool. During her time at school, she made herself learn how to ride a motorcycle using a friend's bike because she knew Sebastian would never lend her his.

Elliott was from an esteemed family from a foreign land (just Stardew's equivalent of Europe tbh) and was a licensed lawyer until he stopped to be a writer. Needless to say, his family are not happy by this sudden decision. Not that he needs their opinion on the matter, he was pushing thirty when he made this decision.

Harvey was an ER doctor in Zuzu City until the incident™. He knew that with his line of job, he can't save everyone. However, he can't help but feel guilty and terrible afterwards. Which is why he has routine check-ups for the villagers, and if they can't visit him, then he will visit them. You cannot escape him because he will find you (affectionate).

Both Haley and Alex believed that at one point, they actually liked each other romantically. But when they had their first kiss together, they realized that they weren't meant to be. They have this deep platonic connection that even Emily doesn't really understand, but she's happy that her baby sister have someone she can rely on and trust for all her life.

Robin takes pride in her name even if her parents weren't supportive over her work at first. She have Sebastian share her last name, and when she married Demetrius, she hyphenated their surnames instead of just taking his.

Demetrius and Sebastian were close when he was a child. Sebastian was an overly curious and precocious boy and Demetrius was happy that he could share something with his stepson, their interest in biology. Although Sebastian was squeamish and even almost cried when he dissected a frog, he managed to calm him down. And even after their mutual parting as Sebastian grew older, he's the only one who knows what Demetrius' favorite animal is: moonlight jellies.

Jodi and Kent were teenagers when they had Sam. Jodi came from a highly conservative and religious family so they forced them to marry after Jodi gave them the news that she was pregnant. As they were teens, Kent took any odd jobs he could get in the city, from a corner-store clerk to a garbage man. Until he got offered into joining the military.

Pam was a trucker before she became a bus driver. In fact, she met Penny's dad in the business. But in her childhood, she was in multiple beauty pageants and even into her adulthood, she knows how to hairdo. She helped Penny with her hair since she was a child and hope that she could still do Penny's hair in her future wedding, whenever that is.

Alex's mom had multiple miscarriages before she have him, and that was into her ten years of marriage. She was beyond ecstatic with his birth that she immediately called her aging parents who also shared her happiness, they then invited her to the Valley a few days after Alex was born so they could celebrate in the Mullners' house. Lewis heard about the news and asked if they wanted to celebrate in the Saloon in which Evelyn denied because Clara wanted a small celebration with just her family.

Abigail is the only marriageable candidate to be born in the Valley. Sebastian moved in not long after Maru was born so he was close to her as he was the only child her age at that time. Penny moved in when she was seven with her parents until her dad left when she was ten. Haley moved in when she was ten years old while Sam moved in a year after. Alex often visited his grandparents but he officially moved in after Clara's death in his pre-teens. The rest moved in as adults.

Similarly to Alex, Shane only ever visited and stayed for a while in the Valley until he needed to take care of Jas. He wasn't close with his parents and they never tried to be anyways, Marnie is always the mother figure he has. So other than Marnie and Jas, the only people he considered as his family was Jas' parents. Her father, whom he met and befriended in college (as he was his roommate, before they mutually dropped out) and her mother whom he wasn't very close to at first until they both find comradery in bullying (affectionate) Jas' father.

[otaku0411]

A Future Rewritten

Summary: After years of dreaming of parenthood, Y/n and Nanami face the devastating loss of their first pregnancy. The grief threatens to consume their relationship as Y/n struggles with feelings of guilt and inadequacy while Nanami fights to hold their bond together.

TW: Miscarriages, infertility, mention of alcoholism, and depression episodes

A/n: This is my first angst-like fanfic so please don’t be too harsh and my first JJk fanfic🥲

——————————————————————-

Both of y’all went to the doctor to see if there wer anything wrong that could affect yall fertility. The results came out great for Nanami. However for you, it said that you might be struggling with fertility issues. Doctor explained that it’s not impossible, but it will take a while longer for you to conceive. Feeling upset at the news, you try different herbs and positions that could increase your chance but nothing seems to work.

It became more difficult when friends and family would have get together and their children would be around playing in blissful innocence that they still have. There was one time where Gojo brought his son, and for some odd reason he was following Nanami around all day and your husband eventually gave in a play with him and even carried him on his back. That moment has you feeling so much pride but sadness because you couldn’t give him a baby. (It’s all your fault)

One morning, you woke up and immediately went to the bathroom and puke your gut out. This was abnormal, especially since you didn’t eat much of anything for dinner. Nanami knock on the door.

“Sweetheart, is everything alright?” He asked with concern in voice.

You flush the toilet and wash your hand and brush your teeth. “Everything good! Just needed to go to bathroom.” You chuckles, trying to play it off.

He doesn’t buy it one bit, he knows when you’re lying. He sighed” Okay but if you’re not feeling well, please tell me.”

“I will!” Nanami back up from the door and walked away.

You hate lying to him but you don’t want him to worry right now. You soon get ready for work and leave the house. Throughout the day, all you could think about is the vomit, but then you get a notification on your phone that says your cycles is 5 days late. Okay this is a sign!

After work, you when to the drugstore and went home. Luckily Nanami was still at work so you took the opportunity to take three pregnancy tests. You waited for 5 minutes. Those five minutes were the longest time you felt. Anticipated and nervous for the results. The timer went off and you decided to look.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Nanami comes home with takeout from your favorite restaurant. He shouted out your name to announce he’s home. You slowly come out of the hallway with both of your hands behind your back.

“Hey love I brought yo-…….what’s behind your back?”He quickly noticed how you were standing. He look around you to see if he get a peep but you dogged his attempts.

You had a big grin on your face as you were too excited. You show him the pregnancy test with two big bold lines. Nanami looks and his eyes begin to widen as the realization hits him.

“You’re…..pregnant?” A smile and excitement creep on his face.

You eagerly nodded your head and before you could say anything, Nanami pick you up and hug you tightly.

“We’re gonna be parents!!!!” He chanted loudly. You laugh at his excitement. This was the best news he could get all year! He slowly put you down to look at you.

“I’m so happy to be a father and to have you as the mother of my children.” He caressed you gently and put his hand on your stomach.

“I can’t wait to meet you little guy.”

The next few months was full of restfulness and excitement for the arrival of the baby. Nanami has ordered many pregnancy books and preparation for the baby as you’ve been dealing with the occasional nausea and fatigue and sickness that comes with the first trimester of pregnancy. You two were at every appointment making sure that the pregnancy was going well and that the baby was progressing successfully.

On the 12th week, Yall had went to the appointment for an ultrasound to see the baby. Y’all were very excited to see the little one and to see how they were growing in your belly and any updates that you two need to know. The nurse happily lead you guys to the room, place you down on the bed by the ultrasound screen and put the cold gel on your stomach as she put the wand onto the stomach and begin moving around to see the baby. You and your husband hold each other hand excited to see the baby not knowing what was to come. The nurse who once looked at the screen once with a smiley, happy face turn into a very neutral expression on expression.

The nurse looked at you two and told you “I’ll be right back.” She left and you two were wondering what was going on y’all waited a few minutes and then the doctor came in and told you the heartbreaking news.

“I’m sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Nanami but it appears that we could not have found a heartbeat we checked again and there are no sign of life.”

You two look at each other in shock at the new, not wanting to believe what the doctor is saying.

“What are you trying to say?” You didn’t comprehend what she’s saying, or rather what you don’t want to comprehend.

The doctor sighed as she basically realized she has to say the difficult part, “I’m saying you have miscarriage at 12 weeks.”

Hearing those words come out the doctor’s mouth of the room to be muffled and silence as the two you just looked at each other, not knowing how to express or what to say. The doctor explained that it was nothing that you have done and miscarriages commonly happen in the first trimester. All you could think inside your head was ‘what did I do? What’s wrong with me? How could I let this happen? Could I prevented this?!’ You asking these questions over and over again in your mind.

Nanami see that you space out and called you, “Honey? You okay?”

You snapped out and continue listening to the doctor.

The doctor continues explaining that it is possible to try again later down the line.

Y’all came to the hospital with a baby and now leaving without it. They induced your labor to get the baby and the placenta out. It was painful and caused discomfort for you and Nanami.

After the surgery, you was prescribed with medication to make sure everything clears out of your uterus and to make sure there are no complications after the miscarriage. you inform your job about a medical emergency and you need to have a week off from work.

Nanami drove you both home, the car drive was filled with silent. You put your purse on the table and just sat down on the couch looking down at the floor. You try to hold your stomach with a small bump that was once forming is no longer there. Nanami sat right beside you holding your hand, trying to come for you the best way he can. He’s processing the pain too but knows that it’s harder for you since you were carrying the baby.

“Do you wanna talk about this?” He ask you, he cares about you. He wants the best for you to make sure that everything is okay, but instead of just talking about it and spread your feelings, you shut down how can you be a wife? You can’t even give your partner a child

“What do you want to dinner?” You blurred out , not wanting to talk about the event that just happened back at the hospital no, we look so confused. Why are you not talking to him? You literally just had a miscarriage?! Nanami can see the way the pain as you look at the ground and knew that you didn’t wanna talk about it right then and there, so he just went along with it to make peace at the moment.

“I’ll take care of dinner. You don’t have to worry about cooking dinner.” He answer you with his soft tone, you nodded your head. “Okay, I’ll be in the bathroom.” You get up the couch and wash and left and went to the bathroom.

Once you close the door, all the tears that accumulated all day when the moment you got the news just start pouring out. You just sobbing as tears cover your face and cheeks. You’re a mess. You don’t know how to process this. When you thought you finally got a break and finally gonna be a mother. It was taken away from me just like that.

What was wrong with me? What? Why can’t I carry a baby in my stomach??

The week that you was off from work, you just laid in bed in silence. You did not eat sleep or eat or drink anything. The only time you got up really was to use the restroom. Sure you wash your face from time to time but other than that you did not do nothing, you barely even shower. The only reason you somehow survived is what because your husband cooked dinner and semi forced you to come down to eat dinner with him.

he tried to talk to you about the miscarriage, he wanted you to talk about it. He did not blame you for what happened. he blaming you for losing the baby. He mad at you cannot how can you be a good wife if you cannot give him a child what’s wrong with you?

Why it is so hard for me, but not for other women that’s all you could think about in your mind. Every second will consume of the miscarriage in the could’ve been and would’ve been and everything around it. You hated yourself for it, you failed as a woman, partner, and mother.

One night in bed , you were up looking at the ceiling just thinking about everything that happened. Kento saw that you wasn’t sleeping ”are you OK? You can’t sleep?” You look over to your right at him. “No, I’m not really tired right now.” He sighed, he knew why you’re up. He knows that you are too hard on yourself right now. “You know I’m not mad at you right?” You look away from him. You want to believe him you really do but all you can think of your mind is the opposite.

he’s gonna leave you for someone who can give him a child.

That’s all you can think about all that you worry about you turned your back at him “I’m going to Sleep. You have a good night.”

Nanami was shocked by your behavior. you never turn your back on him. But he wasn’t gonna give up on you. He pulled you close, with your back towards his chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist. He whispered in your ear “I love you.” before he try to go to asleep.

The week you return from work, you put a mask on for your coworkers and carry on with your work and project that you had missed out like nothing happened. despite the effort, you were still thinking about the pregnancy at home, but at work all you can think about what project deadline, reports, and meetings.

You bury yourself in work, helping every project in the company and contribute to many groups around the department that you were in. Your supervisor ask if you want to stay a little later to finish the report and you happily answered yes. anything to not be at home and think about the miscarriage anything to not go home and be a disappointment to your husband at least at work you are something here. A somebody with purpose. Somebody who accomplish a lot of things here.

The next few weeks, all you did was work and overtime, work and overtime, work and overtime.

You’d come home exhausted from work and became close friends with your wine cellar. Indulging on a few glasses of wines and cocktails every other day after working overtime. That feeling of intoxication and praise at work helped block out the depress thoughts, even if it was for a couple hours.

After finishing a huge project at work, your team decided to go out and celebrating with drinks. At the bar, you were laughing and talking with the few coworkers you enjoyed spending time with. Y’all were having a good time and even offer Sasha, one of your colleagues and good friends, a drink. Normally she’d accept it but she shook her head.

“Not tonight. I’m not allowed to drink for the next few months.” She explained as her hands is placed on her belly. The whole team look at Sasha surprised but soon follow up with excitement. Many congrats her and ask about the baby. As those conversations were happening, you couldn’t help but think about your own pregnancy and how far along the baby would’ve been by now. You’d been 7-8 months along.

You congrat Sasha, paid for your tabs and quickly called it a night. But that didn’t stop the drinking. You went to the liquor store and got some Taylor Port and Patron. You made it home around 9:35 pm and immediately pour yourself a glass and chugged it. You pour yourself another glass when a voice behind you spoke.

“You’re drinking again?” He look you at very distressed. He seen the way you been acting the last few months and it’s getting worse.

“Yeah so what?” You replied as your mouth touch the glass with the alcohol entering your throat.

Nanami was tired. You come home late, smelling like liquor and being borderline drunk every other day was getting old and fast. He walked up to you and grabbed your glass.

“What the fuck?! Give it back!”

“No, I’m tired of seeing you like this (Y/n). Coming home late and drinking is not healthy and it’s not you!”

“So what?! It’s not like I’m hurting anyone.” You protest.

“You’re hurting me! And more importantly you’re hurting yourself! You can’t continue on like this. This is not the woman I married.”

Taking his word the wrong way you blurred out “Well go find another bitch who’d give you everything you want!”

Nanami look at you stunned by your words. Before he could say anything, you continued with slurring your words.

“Maybe you should end things with me, find another woman who will give you ALL the kids and babies you want instead of being with one who couldn’t even carry one in their first trimester.” As you yelled out, tears begin to form in your (e/c) eyes. You already imagine in your mind that he’d leave you, find someone else, marry her and have a family. A family with beautiful children. A family that doesn’t include you.

Silent was the only thing that was heard in the kitchen. Nanami spoke out softly, “Sweetheart…….,” as he walked closer towards you.

You just lost it. All the months of holding it in secret and emotional turmoil just came out as tears fall against your face. Nanami quickly held you tightly as you begin to cry out in his arms.

“What the fuck is wrong with me?!”

“Hey hey, it’s okay-“

You abruptly cut him off “No it’s not! For two fucking years we’ve been trying to get pregnant. Over and over again all because I have a hard time getting pregnant! And I one time I did I fucked up and lost our baby!”

He stood there holding you as you vented out everything you’ve been feeling. This was a long time coming.

“I’m sorry I failed you…..” Your voice cracked as you spoke. Nanami look at you disappointed. Not at you, but at himself and how he wishes he tried harder to get you to open up sooner.

“Y/n, you can’t blame yourself for this. I hate seeing you blaming yourself for something that isn’t your fault whatsoever.” You continue to sob as Nanami gently grab your chin to make you look at him.

“Look at me, you are strong, intelligent, and beautiful person inside and out. Our next pregnancy will be stronger and better. And you’ll be one hell of a mother.”

“But…..what if I never get pregnant again Kento. It took me years for just one. I know how much you desire to be a father……and I’m scared that we’ll separate because of—“

“Don’t.” He paused you. You look up at him confused and still upset.

“I don’t care if it takes two years, twenty years, or even if it never happens, Y/n. You are who I envision as the mother of my children, but more than that—you are my everything. If we can’t have children, I’ll still feel complete, because I have you. I see you in every vision of my future, holding my hand, laughing with me, growing old with me. Children or no children, you are my home and my forever. I’m not going anywhere, Y/n. Not now, not ever.”

You soon get overwhelmed with emotions from his speech. Sure he has said many heartfelt words before but this one is definitely up there. You buried yourself into his chest as you continue to cried out in sob with a soft “Kento….”

Y’all stay in position for a while, embracing each other after a long time since the miscarriage. Tonight has helped you two beginning to understand the importance of being vulnerable again. You two don’t know what to expect in the future ,but you guys know that regardless of it y’all have each other and that will be enough.

[delulustateofmind]

Sweethearts

Description: The traditional route, met in college, got married…what could go wrong?

Hiromi Higuruma x reader 

TW: ANGST, All hurt no comfort, No mentions of sorcery (kept it out for people that might not read the manga), Mentions of miscarriage, Acts of cheating, Implied suicide, Depression, sex? It's not really descriptive sex though. MDNI. 

WC: 2.5k

A/n: Damn I really went dark with this one, Suguru or Choso will be next for their angst fic. Nobody is safe :) 

Love—the one thing that cannot be regulated by law. While the basic acts of love can be defined—treating your partner with kindness, having patience, understanding sacrifice—these elements often find their way into courtroom debates. 

Hiromi occasionally took on divorce cases, delving into the intricacies of love, seeking fairness for both parties. Sometimes, a small smile would curl on his lips as he read the documents, reminding him that he could never leave his wife.

He realized he loved you the moment he stumbled into that study room at the library nearly under a decade ago. You were sitting there alone, your gaze lifting from your textbook as he entered. 

“Mmm, I reserved this space… but you could always join me. I know all the rooms are booked with finals approaching,” you offered, your voice soft and inviting. The way you smiled at him left him momentarily speechless, his eyes darting around the room. Share a study room with you? He glanced at the filled chairs around the library—indeed, all the study rooms were occupied. Keeping his gaze on the ground, he moved to the table.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, setting down his things. “What are you studying?”

You smiled brightly. “I’m a finance major, getting a minor in marine biology. My true interest won’t pay the bills,” you said, beaming. His eyes drifted from the curve of your lips to your open textbook—Organic Chemistry. You were smart, and a blush crept to the tips of his ears. “What about you?”

“Pre-law,” he stammered. Your eyes widened, and a brighter smile spread across your face.

“You would make a good lawyer,” you chimed, your enthusiasm infectious. “Most pre-law students have egos that reach the moon, but knowing you for just a few seconds… you seem fair and kind.”

Though you had only known him for a few minutes, Hiromi felt an undeniable pull toward you. You both shared that room for hours, occasionally exchanging small talk during study breaks. You offered him part of your bento, and he reciprocated by bringing you coffee from the café downstairs.

That day marked the beginning of your connection. You exchanged numbers and began studying together for finals. When the day finally arrived, and you both passed, you rushed over to him with your exam scores in hand. As the snow fell gently around you, you pressed a light kiss to his lips, your smile radiant as you looked up at him.

That was the moment he knew you were his one and only.

You were his everything during law school. After moving into your small one-bedroom apartment, you took care of everything: the bills, dinner, household chores, and groceries—all while working full time. Hiromi often found himself lost in his studies, the weight of his future pressing down on him. Did he ever say thank you? The thought gnawed at him.

When he graduated, you cheered him on with a big bouquet of bright flowers, your face beaming with pride. In that moment, he whispered promises to marry you, to cherish you for all you had done. He meant every word, but part of him wondered if he would truly live up to those promises.

Eventually, the two of you had a small wedding—nothing fancy. He had student loans to pay, and you were still new at your job. A simple silver band adorned your finger. You never even asked for a diamond. Did he appreciate you enough back then? Another thought haunted him. 

Now, as he sat at his desk, the weight of the past settled on his shoulders. Hiromi made a decent salary, but he’d never been one of those greedy lawyers who chased money. You had been on leave after your third miscarriage, falling into a depression that he felt powerless to fix. Five years of trying. Five years of heartbreak.

He recalled the first time it happened, sitting on the bathroom floor with you as you quietly cried into his dress shirt. He’d come home late that night, guilt gnawing at him. Why didn’t he pick up that day?  You needed him, and he’d failed you.

“Don’t worry, we can try again. We’re going to have a family, don’t worry,” he whispered into your hair, his voice steady despite the turmoil inside him. He could still feel your fist clenching his shirt, the raw emotion in that moment echoing in his mind. The next day, he brought you white roses, hoping to spare you the pain of red ones that might remind you of your loss.

The second miscarriage played out similarly. You woke up to find white flowers by your bedside and a note that read, “Sorry, work calls. We’ll take a vacation soon. I love you.” He meant it, but even he could hear the empty promises beneath his words.

Now, the third miscarriage was just a month ago. Hiromi knew you were struggling. He noticed how you baked more than ever, filling the apartment with the comforting scent of bread and pastries. He found himself bringing the extras to the office, sharing them with colleagues as a way to ignore the reminder that you were slowly losing your bright smile. 

But within that month, he also felt the stirrings of urges he didn’t want to acknowledge. It was a dark thought, one that clashed with his love for you. He hated that he even had these urges, but they surfaced nonetheless. His assistant, the one he told you not to worry about, was all too eager to help him with those feelings. 

She was pretty, a younger version of you in some ways, but she lacked your warmth and kind eyes. While she had your features, her smile was sharper, almost greedy. After he’d crossed lines he never intended to, she would swallow his cum under the desk and then casually ask for the latest designer handbag. The stark contrast made him sick.

What was he doing? Hiromi wrestled with his conscience, torn between desire and the love he felt for you. He wanted to be better, but the pressure was mounting, and he felt himself slipping away. 

When did your marriage become so loveless?

Instead of cuddling you at night, Hiromi laid awake, fearing you'd catch the scent of his assistant's perfume lingering on his neck or spot the hickey hidden on his collarbone. Sometimes, he’d wake to the soft, stifled sounds of your body shaking as you silently cried yourself to sleep. The guilt gnawed at him, turning his stomach into knots. He stopped kissing your lips when he left for work, afraid you'd taste her on him. Instead, he opted for a quick kiss on your cheek, a gesture that felt increasingly hollow as he left you alone in the dim light of the apartment. You didn’t return to work the next month either, retreating further into yourself.

Things would get better, he promised himself as he fired his assistant and replaced her with a kind male intern. Was that enough to ease his guilty conscience? 

When he got home that night, the familiar scent of dinner wasn’t in the air. The flowers he sent you earlier that day still lay untouched in their bouquet packaging, wilting slowly in the silence. The lights were off in the vast apartment, and a chill settled in his chest. When did the space that once felt warm and inviting become so cold?

He entered the bedroom, setting down his coat, and saw your form lying still in bed. 

“My love?” he called, moving closer. The bed sank under his weight as he noticed you staring blankly at the wall. “Baby?” he tried again, but you didn’t respond. You weren’t crying, but he could see the evidence of your pain—dark bags under your eyes, red and wet from tears.

You knew, he thought, dread pooling in his stomach. 

He wanted you to fight him, to hit him, to scream—anything to break the silence that hung heavily in the air. But you simply lay there, staring at the blank wall. It felt like a reflection of the emptiness in their marriage. He wrapped his arm around you and tugged you close, seeking solace in your presence. To his surprise, you didn’t fight it.

After an hour of silence, you spoke. “Your assistant called.”

Oh, he thought, avoiding the topic. “We can take that vacation,” he suggested, desperate to steer the conversation away. “You must miss the ocean—you always liked studying marine life. Let’s take a trip to the beach- we just need a break away from all of this.”

You simply nodded, and he felt something flicker inside him. He was going to fix this. Fix your marriage. Be a better husband. 

As he lay there beside you, Hiromi wrestled with his own shortcomings. What if it’s too late? 

For once, he decided to take a week off. He had never used his PTO, but this felt like a necessary change. He booked a small cabin on the beach, hoping the December air would bring some clarity. The beach wouldn’t be crowded, and maybe you could see a couple of whales in the distance from the cabin. He envisioned a trip to the aquarium where you would excitedly explain the different animals to him. He longed for you to shine bright again, like you used to. 

However, as you dressed in a baggy sweater and pants, he felt a pang of disappointment. You turned down the winter dress he bought you, along with a lovely coat to match. When you glanced at it, you shook your head. “Return it, please. It’s not my taste.” He knew it was something his assistant would have wanted—something flashy and expensive, not at all reflective of you.

You were still so beautiful. As he looked over at you on the train ride to your destination, a smile crept onto his lips when the sun caught your eyes. Eyes that once held so much warmth now felt distant, clouded by an invisible weight. He reached for your hand, holding it softly, wishing for a spark of connection. To his relief, you didn’t pull away; instead, you leaned into him and closed your eyes, a gesture that felt like a gift.

When you both arrived at the cabin, clothes were left at the door, along with your suitcase. He kissed you, his hands roaming over your soft curves, craving the intimacy you both had lost. He missed this—he missed you. He missed the sounds you made when he kissed that sweet spot on your neck. But as he looked down at you, that vacant expression lingered in your eyes, sending a fresh wave of guilt crashing over him.

That’s fine. We can fix this.

“I love you,” he murmured between breaths as he moved against you. “Let’s try again, yeah? We can move to the countryside.” His words were a desperate attempt to rekindle the connection, to pull you back from the shadows. “Maybe Tokyo is too busy for us, too chaotic. I can work at a smaller firm, and you can take care of the kids.”

You looked up at him, flushed cheeks and panting breaths as you cupped his face with your hand. “That would be nice.” But the smile didn’t reach your eyes, and he wished he had noticed that sooner. What was he doing?

As you both came undone together, hands intertwined, the warm hues of the sunset filtered through the cabin windows, creating a serene backdrop. Whispers of “I love you” hung in the air, an attempt to breathe life back into what had grown cold. The lovemaking felt like a gift too.

Sleep overtook him as he held you in his arms, a smile on his face. It had been a while since you both had made love. He missed your sweet noises, the way your breath would hitch, and that beautiful smile of yours. But was it enough?

“I’m going to go for a walk, Hiro,” you mused softly, pulling yourself from his embrace. The words felt like a soft blow to his heart. He hummed in response, hoping to draw you back in. “If you wait a few minutes, I’ll join you.” 

You simply smiled and shook your head, a serene look on your face that made him smile. You seemed more at peace now. Things must be getting better already. 

“I just want to look at the waves for a bit. I’ll be back soon,” you said, your voice gentle yet distant. You pressed a kiss to his forehead, the tip of his nose, and then his lips, leaving him with one last gift.

He smiled up at you, “Bring a coat; it’s cold. Be careful—the tide might be coming in too.”

You nodded and slipped on a coat before heading out. 

“I love you, Hiro,” you spoke softly before leaving, but the words felt hollow, as if they carried an unspoken weight.

Hiromi simply hummed and rolled back over to sleep, embracing the warmth from your side of the bed. The scent of you lingered in the air, a comfort he didn’t want to let go of. 

As you walked directly into the waves, standing waist-deep while gazing into the sunset. You wore a smile, but it didn’t reach your eyes, and as the water swallowed you whole.. The biting cold of the ocean contrasted sharply with the warmth you both once had.

Time passed, but you didn’t return. 

“Baby?” he called out, voice thick with sleep and concern. The sun dipped below the horizon, casting shadows that deepened his anxiety. 

He slipped out of bed, hurriedly pulling on clothes as worry gnawed at him. When he stepped outside, the frigid air hit him like a wall, and he scanned the shoreline, heart racing. 

“Y/N!” he shouted, desperation lacing his voice, he ran towards the water when he saw your shawl resting in the wet sand. The waves lapped at his ankles as he waded into the water, searching for you. Please come back. I can’t lose you.

The waves were relentless, pulling at his legs as he searched the fading light, but the ocean offered no answers. 

[auspicioustidings]

Ae Fond Kiss - Part 8 (Final)

A Red, Red Rose

Summary: A bombshell is dropped and you look to the future. Words: 2k TWs: mention of miscarriage

So I've lost interest in this fic hence why we have a rushed wrap up because I didn't just want to abandon it :') All parts - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

“We gonna do this forever then Johnny?”

It was a form of torture Simon was sure, them having lunch together once a week every week and making small talk. He missed his best friend. He missed being able to say something outrageous and knowing Johnny would call him a sick bastard and then immediately try to outdo him.

“Eat lunch?” Johnny replied a little miserably, shuffling pasta about his plate.

“Johnny…”

“What dae ye want me tae say LT?”

“Not your LT anymore, retired remember? And Price told me about your promotion.”

Captain John MacTavish did have a nice ring to it, and Soap had more than earned the stripes. In another world he’d have grinned at Ghost, smug as anything and making some comment about being able to order him around now. But instead he frowned and Simon hated it. 

“Talk to me for Christ sake!”

“I cannae! Ye want me tae tell ye how much I miss your wife? How it kills me that she’ll never forgive me and that she’s right about it?”

“Johnny…”

“Or were ye hoping tae hear that I dinnae even regret Las Almas? It’s ruined everything, but I’ve loved you since I broke my fingers on that stupid bloody mask and I didnae even realise until we nearly fucking died! Ignored it even when I did, had 9 years tae think about how either way I was breaking my own heart because it decided it loved two different people!”

Fuck. He was crying. Johnny was crying. And Simon was caught between wanting to kiss him or kill him. He had never expected to be loved back was the thing. He did something unbearably selfish on the understanding it was all one sided, that the fuck was just the adrenaline from thinking they were going to die and they’d forget it ever happened. And then everything had went to shit and he had fallen in love with Johnny’s widow. He’d already lost one person he loved because he was too scared to admit it, he just couldn’t do it again,  selfish asshole that he was. 

“You should regret it. You… we hurt her. Hurt her so bad that we might lose her.”

“Aye. I deserve tae lose her though, never deserved tae have her in the first place anyway. I just caught you in the crossfire of my sins.”

“Who the fuck are you?” Simon said with full derision.

This has gone on long enough. So what? Everyone was just supposed to be miserable forever? They were supposed to just lay down and take it? Johnny looked at him, hurt and confused. 

“I watched you fight every break up. You fought tooth and fucking nail to make it work. When you fucked up you made it up to her. When she fucked up you forgave her. And what? Now that Johnny is dead? Either you still love her and are willing to fight to get her back, or any part of the man I loved died in Russia.”

“You’ve lost yer fucking mind Si, she’s your wife!”

Simon stood, determined.

“And our wife needs to remember who she belongs to and who belongs to her.”

As he started marching off Johnny near choked and scrambled to follow.

“Ye cannae be serious! Leave her be Si! Ye cannae just barge in and-and-”

“And tell her she’ll try forgive us because we’ll spend the rest of our lives making it up to her? That we can start right now by showing her how well you can follow orders and how well I can give them for her benefit? I bloody well can and I’m bloody well going to. Either you’re with me or you can stay and mope.”

“...aye sir.”

–

Once upon a time Joey being at a sleepover was exciting, it meant some much needed alone time with your husband. Now though? The house felt cold, empty. You considered asking Gaz and Price’s partner if they’d come round to hang out, but it felt so messy when they were just as much Simon’s friend as they were yours. It would somehow make you miss him more. 

Everytime he was at the house briefly and you made polite conversation you wanted to cry. You had a few times, only after he was gone of course. That big fucking lummox. You wanted to strangle him, but then again that wasn’t exactly new. And you wanted rhubarb and sugar. Oh you could murder some rhubarb dipped in sugar like your parents used to give you as a kid. 

The door went just as you finished pouring a large glass of wine. Simon stood looking like he sometimes did when you were about to get absolutely ruined in bed and you swore your heart nearly stopped. Johnny was by his side, pupils blown with a blush crawling up his neck as if he somehow knew exactly what images just popped into your mind. Oh. Oh you suddenly wanted them so badly it hurt. 

And damn them for knowing you so well, for being able to fucking tell. Simon’s lips were on yours as he walked into the house, you being led backwards. You were clawing at his shirt as he squeezed your ass until you bumped into the kitchen island and realised how insane this was, pulling away to try find Johnny. He had followed, was swallowing thickly as Simon started to kiss and nip a path down your neck. This was insane. This was certifiably mental. You could not… have a threesome? Have a threesome with your husband and your husband who had fucked each other ten years ago on a mission before one faked his damn death. 

“W-what are you doing? We can’t…” you mumbled, trying to get your head on straight since currently your brain seemed to reside between your legs.

“Tell me what you need princess. Want me on my knees begging against your pussy? Want Johnny to fly you to Hawaii and keep you in the lap of luxury for a month? Want us to be here every single day in the garden announcing to the neighbours that we deserve a fucking whipping for how badly we fucked everything up with the gorgeous mother of our child?”

Christ almighty. So much for Simon being the unemotional and ineloquent one. You couldn’t handle this. You couldn’t handle how much you wanted to just give in. He made it sound so easy, like you could have them both, like they would give you whatever you wanted just to stay by your side despite what they’d done. He was going to his knees in front of you.

“Rhubarb!”

The room froze for a moment as Simon hit the ground with his knees and just stared at you.

“...is that, uh, a safeword?” Johnny asked, seemingly surprised out of the slack jawed, dazed state he seemed to have been in. 

“No. I mean I… rhubarb. You asked what I needed. Rhubarb and sugar, but we have sugar in the cupboard so… just the rhubarb.”

“...ok, rhubarb. We can do rhubarb” Simon said after a moment, taking it in his stride as he snuck a peck to your stomach where his head currently was and then stood. 

If they just left and went to the shops maybe you could… you didn’t know. Maybe you could hurriedly touch yourself to get rid of the ache between your legs and then neck your wine to get rid of the one in your chest. Simon turned and nodded to Johnny and took a few steps, so you picked up the glass of wine to calm yourself down only for Johnny to pluck it out of your hands.

“Unless you’ve suddenly developed a taste for red wine I’d appreciate that back” you snapped at him.

“And since you’ve suddenly developed a taste for rhubarb I’m naw giving it tae ye.”

“MacTavish” Simon scolded, sure Johnny was about to ruin what he was hoping was some reconciliation here.

“That’s not…” you started before you went pale. 

“How ye been feeling recently hen?”

Oh no. Not now. You just assumed you felt sick because of the stress. But then the take away food had seemed so off despite you usually loving it. You kept having to throw up. You were lethargic. And now you needed rhubarb and sugar, something you had only craved twice in your adult life, the most recent being over a decade ago. The last time you were pregnant. 

“What’s going on?” Simon asked, not liking at all how your face just fell as he strode back to you. “What did you do Johnny? It’s ok sweetheart, I’m sorry we just showed up, seemed like a good idea at the time. Just missed you so much.”

The universe had a sick sense of humour. Over a year of trying for a baby with this man. 18 fucking months. And you get pregnant right before your other husband comes back from the dead, the one it turns out your current husband has slept with behind your back? This could not be happening, but all the signs were there. When had you last had a period? You hadn’t even noticed that you were late with everything going on. 

You tried to do the maths in your head. It had been a few months since Johnny had come back, so you were at the very least that far along. 8 weeks. You had miscarried at 10. Maybe you were further along, maybe you were past the worst of the danger. God you prayed you were past the worst of the danger. 

“Si, gie her some room would ye? We’re right here, if ye want us tae be. It’s up to you, you dinnae have tae…” Johnny said, struggling to get out the words.

There was no thought in your mind that you would get rid of this baby, but the fact that he was putting that option out there when he himself had always been so desperate for a big family was something you appreciated more than you could say. Goddamnit, he still loved you. 9 years away and he still bloody loved you. Would still do whatever it took for you to be happy. Even if in that case this meant not having another baby.

How strange that you thought of this baby as his. How strange that you just as strongly thought of it as Simon’s. If the past few months had shown you anything it was that you could look after a child between the three of you, so it wasn’t like they had to be with you to do it. Even if you’d like them to be. Despite it all, you’d really fucking like them to be.

“Princess?”

You took a deep breath and smiled softly at Simon who was looking increasingly alarmed. You caressed his face and it felt like relief to touch him. 

“Maybe we can go a trip to the doctor on the way for the rhubarb Casper. Think we might be pregnant.”

–

A very healthy baby girl with an incredibly healthy set of lungs. You sang to her, love like A Red, Red Rose for your little Rose. You bawled your eyes out when Joey refused to turn down his hearing aids even when she was screaming at the top of her lungs because that was his baby sister and he would never not want to hear her. It was a good thing you could all sign with the way she drowned you all out, even Johnny as clumsy as his hands were with it had dedicated himself to learning since he had got home. 

You were fairly certain your little Rose was making Price broody with Gaz and their partner finding their grumpy old man losing his mind over a chubby baby adorable. Although there was a good chance Price wasn’t making any babies with how you had planted your foot in his groin when he finally came out of hiding. 

You were still figuring things out, but right now? Right now you were happy. You had two perfect children by two imperfect husbands. It was up in the air what your family was going to look like in the future. Did you want to forgive them? Even if you did, would you be friends and co-parents or something more?

That you hadn’t quite decided yet. But you were determined that whatever the future held for you, it was going to be a future full of love and laughter.

[inuiiwonderland]

Having a family again

|After losing everything, you finally can have a family again|

Tw: mentions of miscarriage, being poisoned, angst and basically more angst but fluff ending!

Reader is a fae and lilias wife!

-

You let out a sigh as you quietly walked out the young prince's room. You were finally able to put the young prince to sleep after a long day of playing around and taking care of the future king of briar valley.

You smiled when you remembered how happy he was when you told him that your schedule for today was free and you can spend the whole day with him. The young prince let out a squeal as he hugged your waist.

"Really? We can spend the whole day together today?!" You gave him a nod and you saw how his eyes lit up with excitement.

"Can we go see the gargoyle statues today?! Oh! Can we get ice cream too! Maybe even going into town!" You couldn't help but laugh at the young boy's excitement as you nodded your head.

"We can, but first we need to eat breakfast before doing anything else. Say, would you like to help me prepare today's breakfast?" 

The moment those words left your lips, you could see malleus beam at the idea of helping you cook in the kitchen.

"Yes yes yes! Let's go!" You smiled as you let him pull you towards the kitchen as he excitedly babbles about how fun today is going to be since you're free.

You walked around the palace halls as you decided to go make yourself some tea to help you relax after a long day in town with malleus.

You hum a beautiful tune as you walk the long halls to the kitchen. You loved malleus with all your heart but he sure did tired you out today. Maybe it's the old age finally catching up to you. 

You chuckle at that. Once finally in the kitchen, you started making your tea as you continued to hum the beautiful tune all over again.

You took a seat when you were done and waited for your tea to cool down before you could drink it.

While waiting, your mind couldn't help but drift off to the same thoughts you always think about.

Having a child.

You knew that the possibility of having a child again will never happen. After all, the ability to have a child again was ripped away from you by ugly jealousy.

"What do you think?" You say as you twirl around to show off the new dress you bought. 

"It looks lovely on you my love" Your heart couldn't help but flutter at the sweet words of your husband.

"You think so?"

"Mhm" 

You giggle as lilia hugged you from behind and swayed you side to side.

"Oh what a beautiful wife I have~"

"Oh shush!" You say as you playfully slapped his arm.

"It's true"

You smiled as you turned around to give him a quick kiss.

"Aw I want more" You playfully rolled your eyes as you kissed him once more, but this time it was a long passionate kiss. 

You were breathless by the time you two pulled away.

"I love you both" He says as he then kneels down to kiss your swollen belly. You giggle as you see the love and adoration in his eyes.

"Only 2 more months"

"Can't wait any longer for this little one. Do you think he will have my looks? Or yours?" 

"Mmm, I don't know but hopefully my looks" You say as you let out a small giggle. He smiles up at you before getting up

"Hopefully he has your eyes" 

"Are my eyes that pretty?" You ask him

"The most beautiful eyes I have ever seen" 

You smiled before pulling him into another kiss.

You two were unaware about what was to come.

–

"What happened?!" He looked breathless since he ran as fast as he could after being informed about your current state.

"Lord Lilia!" One of the doctors yelled out before quickly walking over to him.

"My wife! What happened to my wife?!" The doctor couldn't help but feel a wave of sadness overcome him as he knew that the words that will come out of his mouth would destroy Lilia. 

"Your wife…has been poison lord lilia" Lilia eyes widened as he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"How is my wife?! My child?!" He looked almost desperate to know the answer. He couldn't help but feel a wave of anxiety wash through his body as he anxiously waited for the doctor's response.

"Your wife is alright my lord, but…"

"But what?" The doctor sighs before looking at him with sad eyes.

"Unfortunately…your child didn't make it. We tried everything we can to also save the baby but not even our magic was strong enough to save your child from the poison" 

It almost felt like the world stopped. He couldn't believe his ears. He didn't know what to say and he was just speechless.

"I'm very sorry lord lilia"

"My wife…does she know?"

"Sadly Mrs. Vanrouge isn't informed about the situation" 

"She still hasn't woken up so we weren't able to tell her the news" 

Lilia closes his eyes before taking a deep breath.

He knew that he felt heartbroken about the news and all he can think about is you. How you would react to such a thing.

"Mrs. Vanrouge is awake!" Lilia quickly ran to where you were as the doctor quickly followed behind.

Entering the room, lilia heart sank seeing you in such a state. You looked so tired and drained. He made his way to your side and took your hand in his.

"Y/n my love, are you alright?" He asks. He knows it's a dumb question to ask but he wanted to hear it from you. To know that you are fine.

"Mhm…and my baby? Is my baby alright doctor" Both lilia and the doctor tensed up and you notice the sudden change after mentioning your baby.

"My baby…is my baby alright doctor?" You asked. The confusion and anxiety in your eyes was enough to tear lilia heart apart.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Vanrouge, but your baby didn't make it"

You looked at the doctor before letting out a small laugh.

"Let's not make jokes now, please doctor tell me that my baby okay" 

Your husband held your hand tight as you looked at him and then back at the doctors.

"I'm sorry" That was all you needed to hear before breaking down into a sobbing mess.

"N-no! This can't be! No no no no! My baby can't be dead!" You cry out as lilia holds you close to his chest.

You cried out in agony as you repeated the same words over and over again.

"No not my baby! Please not my baby!"

"I'm so sorry my love" He says as he holds you tightly in his arms. Both of the doctors left the room to give you two some privacy. But with the loud cries of agony, everyone most likely knew the devastating news of your baby.

–

It was later found out who was the reason behind you getting poisoned. 

It was revealed to be some girl that was jealous of your relationship with lilia. She was envious of you for quote on quote "stealing her man" and getting pregnant with his child.

And so she poisoned you. But not with any ordinary poison. 

It was the kind of poison to mess with your ability to have any children. 

She wanted to make you suffer and so she went on to find this forbidden poison so she could end you.

Lilia was furious once he found out. He was disgusted with the ugly jealousy that reeked from that foolish girl. And he decided to give her a taste of her own medicine. 

She was executed by having different kinds of deadly poison be injected in her. 

That's what she gets for messing with his wife and child. His family.

After the execution, he made his way home. Entering the room, lilia was greeted by sniffling and small cries.

"My love…" He walks towards your shared bed and sits next to you.

"I'm sorry" lilia eyes widened as your cries got louder.

"It's all my fault..if I didn't accept that drink then this wouldn't have happened! I'm so sorry lilia!" His heart broke seeing you like this. He pulled you into a hug as he caressed your back.

"It's not your fault y/n. You didn't know her ill intentions so don't blame yourself" 

"But because of me, we lost our child and I can't have any more kids because-"

"It's not your fault my love. It will never be your fault. We can get through this together okay?" He cups your face as you hiccup by how much you were crying.

"We'll get through this"

"I love you lilia"

"I love you too"

–

"Y/n!" 

"Huh?" You looked down to see malleus tugging on your sleeve. How long have you spaced out?

"Are you okay y/n?" You smiled at the concern in his voice.

"I'm fine my young prince, now what are you doing up so late?"

"I- well…" You waited for him to continue and you noticed a small blush form on his cheeks.

"I-I had a nightmare" 

"Nightmare you say" He nods his head and you pick him up.

"How about I stay with you until you fall asleep?"

"I would like that" You smiled at the boy before exiting the kitchen and walking towards his room.

You technically saw malleus as your own son. Since being by his side ever since he was an infant and practically raising him, you were more of a mother figure than his own. 

Malleus saw both you and lilia as parental figures growing up. Seeing how you two were mostly in his life since he was an infant and basically raising him together, the boy saw you two more as parents then his actual ones.

Finally making it to his room you gently laid him down and tucked him into bed.

"I'll be here until you fall asleep okay?"

"Okay" 

"Y/n?"

"Yes my prince?"

"Can you..hum me that tune you always hum? I like it and I think that will help me sleep" 

"Of course"

You started humming the beautiful tune while caressing his head. You saw how he started getting drowsy and closing his eyes. Minutes later you heard soft snores coming from the young prince. 

You smiled before giving him a kiss on his head and quietly making your way out of his room. 

You went back to the kitchen to clean up. Your tea was already cold but you just poured it down the drain and continued cleaning up.

"Oh there you are!" You turned to see your husband, lilia.

"Oh lilia! I thought you were busy today?"

"I was! But…"

"But?"

"Well dear, during a short trip…I stumbled upon this little fella" You looked down to notice lilia cradling a small bundle in his arms.

You gasp when you notice what exactly he was carrying.

"Oh my..lilia is that a-"

"Child? Well yes"

"Where did you get this child from?!"

"Shh! He sleeping!" You quiet down when you see the baby shift in your husband's arms.

"Where did you get a baby from?!" You whispered at him. 

"Well, as I was patrolling the area I started hearing noises coming from a nearby creek. And that when I found this little guy" he says as he shows you the sleeping baby.

"He looked tired and hungry, also cold! Can you believe it? He only had a thin layer of clothes on him and I couldn't just leave him there. So I took him and I had him checked by some doctors. Thankfully he was alright and only had signs of hunger and exhaustion"

"Oh you poor thing" Your heart arche at the thought of the poor baby being left out in the cold for who knows how long.

"Was there any signs of anyone living near the area?"

Lilia let out a sigh as he shook his head.

"No, seems to me he probably has been abandoned" 

"That awful" You noticed the baby ears, and you saw how it wasn't pointy like fae's ears.

"It's a human child"

"Mhm, I'm surprised he lasted this long outside in this weather" 

"While at the doctors, I got to bathe him and luckily there was some warm blankets to cover him up"

"So he doesn't have any clothes on him?" 

"No" Lilia nervously says. You glared at him before thinking on what to do.

"Do we still have some of malleus old baby clothes?"

"Oh we do! I keep them in our room since I was a little to emotional on throwing them away"

"Little to emotional?" You say with a raised brow.

"There under our bed inside a box" You giggle before leaving to go get some clothes for the baby.

After finding some clothes, you put them on the baby while trying to be careful to not hurt him.

"Has he eaten anything?"

"Yes I made sure he was fed when I was there"

"That good" Once you are done, you swaddle the infant before holding him close to your chest protectively. You looked down at the boy and noticed how he snuggled up against you.

You smiled

You didn't notice lilia staring at you and once you felt his eyes on you, you looked up to see beautiful Ruby eyes staring right at you.

"We should keep him"

"Huh?"

"He has nowhere to go…and I don't trust him with anyone else but us" You stared wide-eyed at your husband. You didn't know what to say but hearing the baby's small coos you couldn't say no.

"Then let's keep him" lilia smiled and joined you on the bed. 

"Now…what should we name him?" You thought for a moment. You weren't expecting to have a kid let alone a boy at the moment. So figuring out a name in a short amount of time is troublesome.

"I don't know"

"Let's see…liam?"

"Mm no"

"Noah?"

"No"

"Albert?"

"Oh God no" lilia laughs and tries to think again.

"How about…silver?"

"Silver?"

"Mhm"

"That doesn't sound bad…I like it" you looked down at the little infant only to see violet irises staring back at you.

"His name will be silver" 

You could almost tell the baby was happy with the choice of name which made you both smile. He soon then closes his eyes to go to sleep but not before holding tightly on your pinky with his small hand.

"Sleep well silver"

-

Bonus!

Malleus yawns as he woke up. The delicious smell of pancakes filled the air and he practically leaps out of bed to follow the delicious smell.

"Good morning my prince"

"Morning y/n!" He then notices lilia sitting down while drinking some coffee.

"Good morning lilia!"

"Good morning malleus" malleus eyes then shift to the bundle that lilia has in his arms.

"What are you holding lilia?" The older fae just smiles before signaling malleus to come closer.

When he did, he gasps upon being face to face with a baby.

"Meet your new sibling" malleus looks at lilia before looking at you and then down at the baby.

He smiles as he extended his pinky for the baby to hold. And giggles when the baby grabs his pinky with his hand.

"Meet silver"

"Silver? What a nice name"

Idc what y'all say lilia would be head over heels for his s/o🙄 also the tune that reader was humming is once upon a dream! Not proofread since it's 4:41 in the morning and my dumbass is tired😣😓

[fluffysucker]

Say Something.

Bucky Barnes x Reader (Mob Au)

'You are the one that I love, and I'm saying goodby'

It is written in Third POV. No use of Y/N. However, the reader is referred to as a female.

A/N: I was writing a request that was so fluffy but couldn't shake this from my head. I had to let it out. Let me know if you want part two. Also, if any of you wanted to in a taglist, you are so welcome. Likes, comments, reblogs are VERY VERY highly appreciated. Opinions really matter to me

TW: Mentions of physical abuse. Mention of miscarriage.

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you tried to focus on the good things. Your hair was combed to perfection. Not a single strand of hair falling from its place. The hairpieces made the hairstyle ravishing. The simple makeup look you asked for was excellently done. Highlighting your best features with colours that work best with your skin tone. However, the best thing yet was the dress. It was your dream dress. It hugged your body like it was made specially for me, which it was. From the material, the shade of the white, to its exact length in centimetres, the dress was dazzling. And the look was beautifully finished with the white flowers you were holding.

You looked stunning. The most gorgeous you have ever been. However, you didn't feel like it. You wanted to get out of here. You wanted to disappear. You wanted to hide from everyone. It was becoming too real. There was no escape. Before the panic could take over and make you break down on the floor, the door to your room knocked. You turned to see your father enter the room.

On this day, they said fathers get emotional. They would tear up or cry. You would be able to see the undying love they have for their little girls as they grow up. But you could only see one thing in your father's eyes. Victory. He was about to have the biggest deal of his life finalised today, no matter what it cost. You wondered if the signs had always been there. That your rocky relationship with your father would lead to this. The lies you used to tell yourself that your father loved you were never true. That your happiness mattered nothing in the face of his interests. At least he had the decency to tell you that you looked beautiful.

You locked your hand between his arms as he led you outside, where everyone was waiting. You tried to ease your nerves and draw the biggest smile your face could handle. You stood in front of the door as it opened. There was no going back now.

You tried to focus on the music playing and the bright blue sky instead of the people staring at you. You wanted the aisle to be longer. You didn't want to reach the end. Because for you, it was the end of everything. Your wishes weren't granted. Your father came to a stop. He pressed a kiss to your cheek as he handed you to your future husband.

It took a lot from you to keep a smile on your face. Standing in front of your husband-to-be, holding your hands between his foreign hands. You were trying to convince yourself that the smile on his face was genuine and that maybe it wasn't just an accord with him. Maybe there was still hope. Which is why you avoided his eyes so you wouldn't be disappointed.

But you should have known better. You should have known that it was not his eyes that you should have avoided. It was the ocean blue eyes that never left you. But the moment you noticed him, you couldn't turn away. His eyes spoke loudly. So loud. Pain and defeat are coated with anger and rage.

You remember vividly your last conversation together. Your crying and begging for him to understand. His accusations of not loving him enough. But you did. You loved him enough. You loved him too much. Which is why you refused to let him stand in the face of your father. You couldn't let him risk his life. You couldn't let this kind of danger fall on him. And most certainly not because of you. Your father was neither understanding nor loving. So if you had to live miserable lives, he could live his life. That is a sacrifice you were willing to make. And just like that, your three-year relationship was down the drain.

You couldn't help but stare at the man who meant everything to you. who your heart beats for. The love of your life. He was sitting close, yet so far. It should have been him standing here. It should have been the happiest day of your life. But fate was never on your side. Starting with making you fall in love with your father's rival

You thought about the days you spent together behind closed doors so nobody would see you. The lazy morning in bed with you cuddled up in his arms The movie nights that would always end with heated makeout sessions. The secret dates under nobody's eyes. The stolen getaways so you can finally be free and act like the so deeply in love couple that you were. The happiest days of your life. Now they were memories you kept so close to your heart.

You collected yourself quickly before your act would fall as your fiancé squeezed your hand. You heard him say the two words, and you wanted to cry. You wanted to shout and scream. You wanted to throw a tantrum like a child. That was how desperate you were. But you never did. The officiate turned to you to ask you the same question. You wanted to have the courage to say no. Stand your ground. Tell the truth. Run away with the man who has ever truly loved you. But you couldn't. There was too much to lose.

With one last look at the man who would always have a hold on your heart, you kept the tears inside, and with a heavy breath, you turned to the officiate and said, "I do".

"And now, I announce you as husband and wife." Waves of clapping and cheers filled the decorated garden while dreed filled you.

And just like this, you went from being a Pierce to being a Rumlow. And you lost Bucky Barnes.

Twirling the straw between your manicured fingers, you were standing at the bar. Taking a break from all the chatting and loud laughter. You were delaying rejoining the others. The act has been getting harder lately. You were trying to stay a little bit longer in the peaceful corner of the venue. Until you heard his voice. Your thoughts stopped. Your heartbeat went faster. You knew he was in here. Your circle of acquaintances would usually cross. You would meet on these occasions. But you never talked or acknowledged each other. Stolen glances were all you had ever done.

You gave in to the urge and turned to look at him. You couldn't help the smile that formed on your lips. You hadn't been that close since before the wedding. He looked so good. The expensive black suit. The huge frame. The low bun. The well-trimmed beard. The strong perfume. You felt the tears gather in your eyes. You missed him terribly. Beyond what you ever thought.

Your staring must have caught his attention, and he turned his sight in your direction. He didn't expect to find you here. He knew you went off to hide somewhere for a little bit. He didn't know it would be at the bar. You always tried to steal some time away from these events. He often kept an eye on you whenever he knew you were an attendee. It was a force of habit. A habit he couldn't break despite how hard he tried.

After the wedding, he hoped that every time he met you again, he wouldn't feel his heart move from its place. But this time, it never came. Every time, he was taken back by your beauty and grace. Your captivating eyes and sweet smile. You were always the most beautiful.

And there you were, sitting close to him. Yet so out of reach. How he wished he could take you away and escape this world. The bartender placing his order in front of him broke you both out of your trace. You regained control of yourself, pulling the drink to your lips to take a sip. That's when he saw it. The reason for the distance between you. The reason for your downfall. The wedding ring with a big diamond ornamenting your finger

"Mrs. Rumlow." He cleared his throat before he spoke his bitter word.

The last name was never music to your ears. However, for him, it was like a hit in the gut.

"Mr. Barnes." You understood why he would choose to be so formal. To the world, you were rivals acting civilised. Nobody knew what you both meant to each other.

God, he missed your sweet-like-honey voice. It soothed him and put his mind at ease. Now, it was a harsh reminder of a harsher reality.

"Congratulations on the new deal. I heard it was very successful." Despite the bar being less crowded, you were still surrounded by people. You couldn't let them know the truth or even sense something. You had to act normal. Like you never knew him outside of this room.

"Thank you." The shortness and stiffness delivered the message. And you heard it loud and clear. Your attempts were unwelcome. So you decided to leave. Your time hiding away was running out anyway.

However, as you were getting up, you miscounted your steps, making your long dress tangle with the stall. You expected to fall down and make an embarrassment out of yourself, but the pain never came. You only felt a familiar, strong metal arm wrapping around your waist, catching you. This time, you were so close. You could feel his hot breath on your face. His eyes stare so deeply into your soul. His arm tightened around you. You almost gave up. You prayed your eyes weren't showing it all. But they were. It would explain the confused expression on his face. Your eyes were screaming at him. Sadness wrapped in pleas for help. A complex look. He should have let you go now, but he couldn't. He missed having you in his arms. He missed everything about you.

The call for your name brought you both back. He steadied you to your feet before ripping his arm away. You straightened your posture, regaining your composure after this accidental slip. An immediate smile was drawn on your face as you saw your husband approaching. He came to a stop next to you, wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

"Been looking for you, baby." Your husband spoke as he kissed your cheeks.

"I was getting us a drink." You didn't lie. Usually, you would bring him a drink so he wouldn't get suspicious of your absence.

"Always so considerate." He laid another kiss on the top of your head. Being overly affectionate in public was something you were used to from your husband.

"Ain't I the luckiest guy in the world, Barnes?" He turned to Bucky, who was still standing in front of you.

"Yes, of course." Despite his neutral tone, he meant it. Any man who had you had the biggest blessing. He envied this man with every fibre of his being.

Both men talked about work very briefly. It was a formality. An act to go with the night. It was very well known. Bucky Barnes and Brock Rumlow don't get along. Their mobs weren't on the same page. But for the sake of the bigger picture, both had to learn how to coexist. Temporarily, at least.

"This reminds me. Are you free next week?" The bizarre question caught Bucky off guard.

"I'm throwing a party for our second-year anniversary. Would love it if you could come." Brock pulled you closer to him as you laid your hand on his chest, your smile not breaking for a second.

"I want to celebrate the best day of my life." It's the irony of the world that Brock's best day is Bucky's worst. He still remembers the heart-wrenching feeling of watching you marry another man. The excruciating pain of losing you

He was about to turn down the invitation. But he remembered the look in your eyes. Sheer helplessness and hurt Even if it was for a split second. Even if you looked so happy now. He wasn't going to take his chances. He couldn't turn away from your call for help, even if you didn't voice it.

"I wouldn't miss it." And he didn't. And he never regretted something more.

The party was a blast. A beautiful celebration of love. You and Brock looked so happy. A perfect couple. He wanted his instincts to be right. But only came face-to-face with his worst fear. You were happy with another man. A man that wasn't him. And could never be him.

Between the gala and the party, Bucky tried to look around. See if he could find anything out. To get a glimpse of your life behind the lights. And he got nothing. Only good things. Maybe his longing for you made him misread the signs.

After the wonderful speech Brock gave about you and your marriage, Bucky couldn't take it anymore. He had to leave. And most importantly, he had to let you go.

You barely met again after that day. He avoided even the galas that he would see you at. He needed to move on. He needed to forget you. He needed to let go of the girl who turned his whole being around. even though it was going to crush him. He had to.

He spent more time at work. More than he ever did. He started doing the dirty work again. Something he stopped doing for years. But he needed an outlet for the pain and rage. An escape from the brutal reality.

He knew how pathetic he was being. It's been two years, and he can't let you out of his mind. He tried to see other people. But it would only be physical. He couldn't find it in himself to be vulnerable or emotional with any other woman. Only you managed to tear his walls apart. Only you invaded his being. Sometimes he wishes he had never met you in the first place. The sweet girl sitting in a corner by herself in the over-the-top gala. He knew Alexander Pierce was your father. But he couldn't resist. You took his breath away the moment his eyes landed on you. And when he got to know you, you blew his mind away as well. You were nice, kind, polite, understanding, trusting, smart, and everything good. He had to have you. And he did. He fell head over heels for you. You gave meaning to his life. Bucky was madly and deeply in love with you. He still is.

And by some miracle, you loved him too. You let him have you. He remembers, after your first time together, As he held your exhausted form to his chest, he heard your sleepy voice whispering something he should have expected. "Please, when it's time to leave, let me down slowly." Of course, you would think he was only using you for something. He couldn't blame you. So he made it his mission. He would show you how much you meant to him. How much he loved and cherished you.

So maybe he should have fought for you? Shouldn't have chosen the city's peace and safety over you? Should have risked it all?

But this means nothing now. He had to move on.

Now, he was sitting in his office in his mansion. Sitting on the couch with his drink in hand and Steve and Sam on each side, They were joined by a dear guest. Nick Fury. Nick is a huge part of the mob. He started it off with Pierce at Hydra, but both of them grew too big. Then Pierce showed his true colours. So now he was playing on both sides. And nobody could stop him. A lot tried. But no one succeeded. Nick Fury was too dangerous of a man.

It wasn't a formal meeting. It was just a gathering. It wasn't planned. Nick showed up at Bucky's house. They talked about work for a bit, but the conversation drifted with time. With Steve's girl falling asleep in his lap, they found themselves talking about parenthood. How family and their line of work don't usually go together. However, those who did have families always managed to be the best. However, nothing could have prepared Bucky for the turn the conversation was about to take.

"Not all of them turn out to be good. You've got Pierce, for example. I have never seen a worse father in my life." The mention of the man's name caught Bucky's attention. Pierce definitely didn't win the Father of the Year award, but what does it mean?

"What do you mean?" It seemed Steve was thinking the same way as Bucky.

"That man married off his daughter to a beast and watched as he ate her off." The statement didn't sit well with Bucky.

"What are you talking about?" Bucky couldn't help, but he asked, wanting to know more.

"Alexander knows exactly what Rumlow does to his girl." Nick's answer wasn't enough for Bucky.

"What does he do?" He didn't care how desperate he looked or sounded. He needed to know everything.

"I think the scars on her body speak for themselves." It was like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on him. His blood ran cold. His lungs almost stopped working.

"Rumlow hurts his wife?" Sam was one to speak, knowing his best friend wasn't in the right state anymore.

"Hurt doesn't even begin to describe it. Poor girl has been hospitalised ten times in the last two years." His tight grip on the glass almost made it shatter in his hand. They have been doing this to his girl.

"How do you know this?" Steve couldn't help his curiosity.

"I know everything. And Pierce doesn't put much effort into hiding it from those close to him."

"How come nobody else knows?"

"I said only those close to him."

"But they look so happy. He seems to love her."

"Of course they do. Rumlow wants to be seen as a good family man. The perfect husband So they need to be a picture-perfect couple. Not a single flaw. It's easy to paint when you beat somebody that much."

"Why didn't she try to leave?"

"And go where? Her father has no problem with it. I heard that Rumlow slapped her in front of him. And Pierce did nothing."

Bucky was grateful for his bestfriends who kept the questions going because he needed to know everything. But he couldn't speak. Nick seemed to be talking about some stranger he barely knew. And it was true. But not to Bucky. That was you. His whole entire world. And someone was hurting you. And you couldn't do anything. You were helpless. He should have trusted his instincts.

"How bad does it get?" He mastered the neutral tone, so not even Nick would know the fire burning through him.

"I don't know. All I know is if that was my daughter, Rumlow would be dead a long time ago." Instinctively, Steve pulled his daughter closer to him and laid a soft kiss on her head. How can any father not protect his daughter with his life? Steve would never know.

"But the girl is tough. Despite it all, she is still nice and caring to everybody." Nick added. And it somehow hurt Bucky more. For godsake. You even tried to be friendly with him. He, who left you, was a deer in a wolf's den.

"Have you ever met her?" Nick asked, looking at Bucky.

"Only on parties and occasions." He could never tell Nick that you were the love of his life.

Nick stayed for a little longer before he left. And Bucky couldn't recall a single thing after Nick told them the truth. Steve and Sam wanted to stay with their friends, but they knew better. He wanted to be alone right now. And he did. He went upstairs to the master bedroom. He opened a drawer in the side table and looked at a small album he kept hidden from the world. He tried to get rid of it but never had enough courage. It had all your pictures together. This album meant more to him than all of his good fortune.

Looking at the pictures, he felt like he was drowning. They took you away from him, only to hurt you. Bucky didn't know what to do. He must think straight, because if he didn't, he would go over and kill them all right now. It would be a bloodbath. But you were worth it. so worth it.

Before he could make any wise decision, he reached for his phone, dialling the number of the person who would help him.

"Bruce, I need a favour."

Bucky was standing by the bar, watching people talk and laugh in their very expensive attire. It was all so fake that he wanted to throw up. But maybe the act wasn't the only thing bothering him.

Bruce was able to do him the favour he asked for. And he gave it to him today. Your medical reports. All of them.

Bucky was stunned, to say the least. He regretted asking, but he had to know. How could anyone do this to you?

Broken bones. Internal bleeding. Deep Cuts. Concussions. Vaginal bleeding. Three miscarriages.

Bucky couldn't help the tear that fell on his face as he read the last report. It was two months ago. Two weeks before he met you again. A week before the anniversary party. You were recovering from another miscarriage and a broken elbow. Yet nobody could tell. You put on the act to perfection that even Bucky believed. You managed to trick Bucky, who claimed to have known you best. His heart ached to see how much Brock had to beat and break you to fool everybody that you are so happy. Bucky was a strong man who everybody feared, but he had to read how a nobody hurt his girl. Yes, you were his girl. You were always going to be his girl. He needed to figure out a way to get you out of there.

Which is why his eyes never left you since you walked in. It took all his willpower to not go and beat the hell out of Rumlow. But he knew better. All he could was wait and think. He watched your moves and your voice. You were such a good actress. With all you went through, you acted the happiness so well. He wondered how you were really behind closed doors.

He didn't plan to do anything tonight, but the moment offered itself when you walked to the garden alone. He followed you out instantly. Not knowing what to do. But he had to do something.

You were breathing the fresh breeze ear. You needed to a moment of peace, or you would have lost your mind. This morning, Brock lost his temper, and your body was still aching. It wasn't something you hadn't seen before. You mastered the ability to look and act fine by now. You just needed a moment away. You were glad there was a garden so you could enjoy the view of the stars

The familiar voice calling your name made you stop in your place.

"Mr. Barnes." You turned to him with a smile on your face. Even if you were alone, you weren't dropping the formality. Also, it looked like he never wanted you to

"I want to talk to you." He didn't know how he was going to approach the topic, but he had to do something. Say something, at least.

You gave him your full attention. What do both of you have to talk about? And after all these years. You weren't sure if you could even hold a conversation with him.

"Are you okay?" The question caught you off guard. It was a strange question to ask.

"I'm fine, thank you." You tried to keep a smile on your face. You haven't talked in years, and that is what he wanted to say?

"How are you and Brock?" Bucky was a feared mob boss, yet he couldn't get a word out that made sense.

"We are great." You couldn't hide your surprise. The last thing you expected was for you to talk about your relationship. Let alone with Bucky, from all the people in the world.

"Are you sure?" He should have thought about what to say first before he followed you.

"Yes, pretty sure." You weren't really seeing where this conversation was going.

"No, it's not great." Way to go, Bucky. He thought.

"I beg your pardon." Yes, of course, your relationship wasn't great, but that wasn't for Bucky to know.

"I know your relationship isn't that great." Bucky was hoping to get any reaction from you other than your pretty smile.

"I don't think that's for you to judge." You were taken back by his statement. So you went in defence mood.

"No, it's. It's when you aren't safe." You tried not to let your emotions take over your face. He didn't mean it this way, did he?

"I think I would be perfectly safe with my husband." You prayed he didn't catch your lie. You were a good liar by now.

"Does he make you memorise this?" Bucky was frustrated. Not with you. But with your situation.

"Does he tell you to always pretend you are happy?" Bucky was done with your act.

"Mr. Barnes, I don't think we should be talking about my marriage. And you can't talk about my husband like this." You knew you had to be direct and forward. Even if nobody was around, this wasn't a chance you were going to take.

"Do you have anything else you want to talk about?" You received silence, but you could tell he had a lot to say.

You turned to leave because you couldn't stay and have this conversation. Even if you wanted so desperately to stay in Bucky's company.

"How many more hospitalisations will it take for you to admit the truth? How many more babies do you have to lose before you leave?"

You froze in your place. It was like time had stopped. You were trying to process what Bucky just said. Every cell in your body was working overtime to keep you from shutting down. You turned again to look at him with your pale face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like this." Bucky felt guilty for throwing it like this in your face. But he saw you leave, and he had to stop you.

"How do you know?" The question may be irrelevant, but for you, it was important.

"It doesn't matter." Bucky tested the water by taking small, little steps towards you. You didn't move.

"It doesn't matter. What matters is that I know." He was itching to hold you. Wrap you in his arms and protect you from the world.

"I'm okay, Bucky." It had been so long since you said his name, but it still felt the same. And you were back on track with your act quicker than you thought.

"No, you aren't. Nobody should ever go through this." He came to a stop in front of you. You saw empathy in his eyes you hadn't seen in a long while.

"Let me help, please." Bucky had no problem getting on his knees and beseeching you to allow him to step in.

"You can't help me." Your voice was tiny. You felt exposed. That part of your life wasn't to be known.

"No, I can. I have to try." Bucky wanted to help you, not just for your sake but for his too.

"No. It's my life now. I'm okay." You knew Brock wasn't going to get a trophy for being the best husband when you married him. However, it got so much worse than you thought.

"Stop saying that. You aren't." Bucky hated the surrender in your eye. The shakiness of your voice. He hated how you were choosing to accept this life when you deserved nothing but the best.

"There is nothing me or anybody could do." You made your peace with this fact long ago. Since Brock first hit you and nobody moved.

"I can. I should have never let you marry him in the first place." He moved even closer to you.

"Then it would have been the both of us, now. Either dead or suffering. I'm okay with it being me." You were. Maybe that is the reason you managed to survive up to now. That Bucky was okay

"You think I'm not suffering this way?" He followed his instincts and placed his flesh hand on your cheeks.

He prepared himself for you to flinch or move away quickly. But you didn't. On the contrary, your face softened. You were craving Bucky's gentle touch. You missed him so much. Bucky took this a sign and let the next words fall from his tongue.

"I still love..."

"Please, don't.

You stopped him right away. Did you still love Bucky? With all your heart and even more. But it was way more complicated than this.

"There nothing you could have done or can do to change it. It's my life, and I can't escape it." He should move on. He shouldn't even be standing with you here.

"I was doomed from the beginning. I'm so sorry I dragged you with me."

You shouldn't have let him love you. You should have heard his name and went the other way. You should have spread him all this pain and mess. If you failed to do it, then you would now. You moved away from, already missing his touch.

"Thank you, Mr Barnes. But I can never leave." You put on the act again, keeping your tears inside. You wished you weren't that helpless or broken, but you were. You were surrounded by monsters that can never let you break away.

You gave Bucky one last smile before you turned to get back inside. You didn't want to anger Brock more. And you didn't want to drag Bucky deeper. Even if your heart longed for him dearly. It wasn't right. You were a tragedy from the start.

[misunhye]

THE KANG-AHN FAMILY TREE

as of january 23, 2024

LEFT TO RIGHT Kang Misun, Kang Sumin, Ahn Jaesun, Ahn Jiho, Ahn Jaesuk, Kim Moonsun, Kang Wonhae, and Shin Yejin.

tw grooming, infidelity, power imbalance, illegal relationship, age gap, brief mention of miscarriage

In 1992, Kang Sumin was a freshly debuted idol when she met Ahn Jaesun. She was sixteen and he was twenty-three. He was one of YG’s music producers. In 1994, she was eighteen and pregnant with Ahn Jaesun’s first child. Shortly after, her pregnancy was announced and netizens were appalled that she was unwed and a teen mother.

This did not deter her. She wanted to continue her career as an idol, and she wouldn’t stop until she was able to. She went to far as to sending her newborn son, Ahn Jiho, to Texas with her parents. When YG dismissed her, putting her on an indefinite hiatus, she went back to Jaesun, leaving Jiho in Texas.

Sumin’s second son, Ahn Jaesuk, was born in 1997, and he, too, was sent to Texas.

Two years after Jaesuk’s birth in 1999, it was announced she’d be making a comeback. In a drunken high, she had an affair with one of her backup dancers.

One year later in 2000, she gave birth to her first daughter and final child, Kang Sunhye.

In 2009, it was widely accused across South Korea that Sumin’s daughter was the result of her affair and that her biological father being one of Sumin’s backup dancers. Anything she had left of a career was killed. Sumin and Jaesun battled in court over custody over their children, Jaesun even having Sunhye take a DNA test. The media was right, Sumin had an affair and it resulted in Sunhye. The court would rule in Sumin’s favor, saying a child should never be without their mother.

In 2011, Sumin and Jaesun divorced and their three children lived with Sumin, having visits to Jaesun ever so often until they all turned nineteen.

It is noted that Sumin and her children, especially her daughter, do not have the best relationship.

The rest of Sumin’s future is incomplete.

BIRTH NAME Kang Sumin

BIRTHDAY November 29, 1976

OCCUPATION Idol formerly Unemployed currently

FACECLAIM Yunjin Kim

Ahn Jaesun married eighteen-year-old pregnant Kang Sumin when he was twenty-five. As he worked at YG as one of their music producers, he met sweet Kang Sumin when she debuted. While he was overjoyed at their children’s birth, he noticed she wasn’t. He wanted their children to live with them, but her word was final.

Jaesun filed for divorce in 2009 and fought for custody over all three of his children— DNA be damned. The cases took two years to come to a ruling. When the court ruled in Sumin’s favor in 2011, giving him only a few visits per year, he was devastated and dived headfirst into his work. This in turn slightly damaged his relationships with his children but constantly tries to make up for it ever since 2019.

He is one of YG’s best producers, his most prominent works being for 2NE1, Big Bang, and Epik High. When his sons individually turned nineteen, they lived with him until they got settled on their feet. Misun was an idol by the time she turned nineteen.

In October 2019, he met model and crowned Miss Korea 2015 Shin Yejin, who was twenty-seven at the time. A month later in November, they were dating. They have been dating ever since, and many question when he will propose to her.

It is noted that even though he is constantly trying to be a better father, his children and him have a strained relationship.

The rest of Jaesun’s future is incomplete.

BIRTH NAME Ahn Jaesun

BIRTHDAY March 7, 1969

OCCUPATION Music producer currently

FACECLAIM Choi Wonyoung

Ahn Jiho is an actor and got his popularity from Reply 1988 in 2015. As a child, it was very obvious to him that he was the odd man out in the family. He was the only one to not go into music, his name wasn’t close to either of his parents’ like Sunhye and Jaesuk’s were. He felt rather ignored in the family, and that’s what he was. His father loved him, but he loved work and Sumin more.

Jiho was closed off from his siblings, preferring to be in his room alone. If he had the choice of riding home in the car with his family or walking home in the rain, he’d choose walking in the rain. He had a warped impression of them, thinking they thought he was strange for not liking the same things they all did.

Jiho was always interested in film and literature, finding the universes people could create fascinating. He found that while he couldn’t write a story for anything, he was rather strangely good at lying. The thought unsettled him, but he was determined to be apart of people’s versions of their favorite character. He put the lying to use, being in theater in school and begging his grandparents to put him in acting classes.

When his mother’s affair was revealed, he was relieved but then distraught. His mother had made a mistake, she wasn’t one of them. But Misun wasn’t one of them, either— not completely, anyway. Yet she also was one of them. And he wasn’t.

His first major acting role was in Reply 1988 as Jang Minki. His popularity and fans quickly grew, earning him more offered roles. He has won Best New Actor and Best Supporting Actor for his role in Reply 1988.

He has since starred in notable shows like While You Were Sleeping, Squid Games, Sweet Home, and recently known for his role as the main male lead in My Demon. He is currently filming for the American horror movie, The Name Game.

It is noted that Jiho is not as close to Misun as Jaesuk is, but he’s also not close to Jaesuk. Jiho thinks of himself as the black sheep in the family and avoids them.

BIRTH NAME Ahn Jiho

BIRTHDAY September 2, 1995

OCCUPATION Actor currently

FACECLAIM Yoon Dowoon

Ahn Jaesuk is a songwriter and has most likely taken part in writing the lyrics to your favorite song. He has notable achievements for both Korean and American music, such as multiple SHINee and The Weeknd and Harry Styles songs.

As the middle child, he’s always tried to maintain a balance with his siblings and parents and grandparents. He hated conflict, and always tried to avoid it. He tried protecting Misun as best as he could, until he could no longer bare Misun hurt at the hands of Sumin. He was rather relieved when Sumin’s affair was revealed and their parents were divorced, but never once thought differently of Misun.

Long before their divorce, he was twelve when he realized his parents weren’t the parents you see in movies. He was hurt, and angry, but soon that turned into emptiness. It was more of an expectation than anything. He felt nothing when they divorced.

Jaesuk started his career in 2018 with his father at YG Entertainment, his relationship to his father being a helping hand. He has since wrote songs for BLACKPINK, Big Bang, Winner, and TREASURE. He has also wrote songs for other groups such as SHINee, NCT, aespa, TXT, IVE, and more.

It is noted that Jaesuk and Misun are the closest within the family, as their other family are all estranged to one another.

BIRTH NAME Ahn Jaesuk

BIRTHDAY April 9, 1997

OCCUPATION Songwriter currently

FACECLAIM Yoo Taeyang

Kim Sunhee, better known as Moonsun, is a retired South Korean soprano opera actress. When she was twenty-one, she met Kang Wonhae and would later marry him in 1973. Three years later, after multiple attempts to have a child and having two miscarriages, she had her daughter, Sumin.

After having not slept for six days with various attempts to hurt herself or Sumin with Wonhae stopping her, she checked herself into a mental hospital where she was soon diagnosed with postpartum depression. She went on a three year hiatus with her career in order to get better and take care of her daughter. However, as she got back into her career, her relationship with her daughter worsened as she was always busy.

Sunhee is part of the reason Sumin was able to debut and have a comeback after her hiatus, as she knows ‘important people’. She was disappointed when she got pregnant the first time, swearing to cut her off but never did. She never understood why Sumin kept doing it to herself.

It feels like Sumin’s children are more of her own, especially considering she was the one who raised them. She has a strange, polite relationship with Jiho, a relationship where she knows she can trust Jaesuk, and Misun is the baby of the family. She’s much more coddled than the other two as she’s the youngest and only girl.

Besides a three year long hiatus, Sunhee is well known to older citizens for her voice and variety personality.

It is noted that Sunhee and Misun had a good relationship, but lately Misun’s backed away due to some realizations.

BIRTH NAME Kim Sunhee

BIRTHDAY November 1, 1950

OCCUPATION Opera Singer formerly

FACECLAIM Nam Giae

Kang Wonhae is a retired piano and music teacher. He met Kim Sunhee while teaching her youngest sister how to play the piano, and they would soon marry and have a daughter, Sumin.

Wonhae was disappointed Sumin had a child early, but he was the reason Sunhee never kicked her out or cut her off financially. He was the one who took care of his grandchildren first, he was the second person to hold Misun. He was polite with Ahn Jaesun, took him in like a son.

Wonhae always tried to involve Jiho, but he would always refuse. He’d always calm Sunhee down when she got too angry, but sometimes things were so damning, he’d lose his mind. Wonhae willingly took Jaesuk to his ball games, and was always there for each one. He encouraged Misun to audition for entertainment companies.

In 2002, he would retire early from his job as a teacher to focus taking care of his grandchildren. When they would move in with their mother after the divorce, he would soon pick up piano again and play the piano for their church.

It is noted that there is no dislike between Wonhae and Misun. She knows he is there for her.

BIRTH NAME Kang Wonhae

BIRTHDAY July 19, 1950

OCCUPATION Piano teacher formerly Music teacher formerly

FACECLAIM Kim Sunhee

Shin Yejin is a model and was crowned Miss Korea 2015. In 2019, she was twenty-seven when she met fifty-year-old Ahn Jaesun. He would ask her out and by the next month, they were dating.

Not much is known about Shin Yejin. She has been on the cover of Vogue Korea, W Korea, and more. She was one of the female love interest in Big Bang’s Let’s Not Fall In Love music video.

It is noted that Misun and Yejin don’t have much of a relationship, due to her busy schedule. Yejin tries to have a relationship, though.

BIRTH NAME Shin Yejin

BIRTHDAY February 26, 1992

OCCUPATION Model currently

FACECLAIM Jo Jihyun

[keigo-takamis-no-1-simp]

Ｈａｗｋｓ Ｘ Ｒｅａｄｅｒ - Ｌｅａｒｎｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｌｏｖｅ: Ｉ＇ｍ Ｓｏ Ｓｏｒｒｙ

TW/CW: Mentions/depictions of abuse/neglect, Mentions of SA, Depictions of a panic attack, Mentions of miscarriage

𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: Hawks x Reader

𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: You're not just sick... there's something much darker than that lurking under the surface. Yet, the hospital Keigo takes you too seems way too familiar for your own comfort...

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: Angst with comfort (Primarily angst here- you've been warned)

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 2778 

𝚃𝚊𝚐 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @marydragneell, @numblytemporary, @rainycloud858

𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝙾𝚗𝚎 / 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚃𝚠𝚘 / 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎 / 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝙵𝚘𝚞𝚛 / 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝙵𝚒𝚟𝚎 / 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚂𝚒𝚡 / 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚂𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 / 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝙴𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 / 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙽𝚒𝚗𝚎

When Atsuki called Keigo to ask him for a favor, he was surprised. After all, he worked with him maybe once or twice. But the sort of panic in his voice, and how he spoke about you- he couldn’t say no. Atuski was a good kid, and had a bright future ahead of him. 

You did too, even if you couldn’t see it. 

Besides, after that little accidental date, it was hard not to think about you. You were stunning aesthetically, but you were also kind. Funny, witty- and you had a gentle soul. Yet… you were adverse to touch. He picked up on that quickly once you’d tensed- and the scent of cortisol was overwhelming. 

Now, here you were, sick with something and clearly more than a little delirious. And he can’t touch you. Nervous trills and clicks leave his throat as he waits for Shouta to call him back with Eri’s recommendations. She’s become a healthcare worker, something Shouta heavily praised and supported her throughout. Hell Keigo hardly knew the kid and was proud. 

But right now, you seriously need to cool off. “Dove, you’re really warm…” He murmurs, clicking his tongue again in thought. A feather retrieves a damp, cool washcloth. He carefully lays it across your forehead, and you let out a soft sigh of relief. Something comes from your lips.

“... ‘m ok, really, just tired..” You try, sitting up slowly. You sway ever so slightly, swallowing hard. His brows furrow as he watches you. 

“Mmm, I think you’re sicker than you’re letting on,” He teases a bit, though there’s no bite to his tone at all. 

“... no time to lay down..” You murmur, trying to sit up more- and a few feathers gently push you back into bed to ensure the rag doesn’t fall from your forehead. 

“Listen, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way- but you look awful. Just let me help you a bit, yeah?” He hums, though some part of his weird bird brain is going haywire. He needs to help you feel better. He needs to fix this. He can fix a lot of things, like dislocations, dressing wounds, helping someone calm down- but he can’t just fix this. 

He feels almost useless. Almost. 

“... sorry..” You murmur, slumping against him- then jerking away. Touch clearly was still difficult, despite the fever and god knows what else. 

“Kid, please,” He whispers. It physically pained him to see you like this- you reminded him of someone he used to know, someone he used to love. He couldn’t do anything back then… but he’s sure as hell determined to do something now. 

You groan shifting to get up again- but you stumble into the bathroom. You kneel over the toilet, and start to vomit. He winces at the sound, wings twitching with discomfort. 

He steps in after you, unbothered by the scent. When you’ve met someone who literally smells like burning hair and flesh, vomit isn’t a big deal. He pulls your hair back- and while he wants to try and comfort you, touch is a big no no still. 

Coughing and sputtering, you lean on the toilet heavily. It’s pure bile. You sit there, dry heaving, with bits of bile occasionally coming up. It HURTS, your abdominal muscles clenching and shuddering. Finally, once it stops, you take in a shaky breath and speak.

 "I- I’m fine, I swear," you murmur, and he balks.

"Fine, my ass! You just threw up everything in your stomach and then proceeded to dry heave for the next five minutes!" When you wince, he sighs. 

“... ‘m sorry..” You murmur, eyes fluttering as you place your forehead on the rim of the toilet. The cool porcelain feels amazing against your flushed face. He frowns, tilting his head. 

“For what..? You can’t control getting sick..” he murmurs, brows pinching together. 

“... all of this..” You murmur. Then, it hits him. You’re delirious and dehydrated to all hell. A feather shoots off to get a water bottle- anything, really. Upon bringing it back, he shakes his head. 

“Don’t be… I need you to try and drink some of this for me, do you think you  can do that?” He carefully brushes your hair out of your face, not touching your skin. You hum, leaning back. 

He unscrews the lid, gently tipping it to where the water will slowly enter your mouth. As you begin to drink, he can’t stop the cooing noises that escape him. “There we go, good girl..” He hums, and you seem to like that somewhat. 

He gives you a moment, a soft smile on his lips. “You’re doing so good, Dove… I’m sorry you’re sick, but ‘s ok. I gotcha.” He hums, and as you try to murmur another apology, he tuts lightly. 

“None of that.” You shift, looking up at him with bleary eyes. He gives you a small smile. Your eyes flutter shut, and you wobble slightly. Your face pales, and his follows suit. “H-hey-” He tries, but it’s too late. You’re out cold. Before your head can hit the ground, he’s got you. 

“Fucking- Shit-” He curses, wings flapping in annoyance. A trill escapes his throat again. “Fuck all of this, we’re going to a hospital.” 

He picks you up bridal style, and you whimper. His eyes shift to you, and you’re trying to adjust in his grasp. He lets you make yourself somewhat comfortable, then uses his feathers to get a jacket to cover you. He can deal with chilly weather- but in your condition, he’s worried it could kill you. 

His feathers open his balcony doors, and he crouches- before shooting up into the air. As he glides through the air at breakneck speed, he can’t help but wonder what sort of expression you’d have if you were conscious. Were you afraid of heights? Or would you love this..?

A theory to test later, perhaps. 

He lands on the roof of a private hospital. The last thing either of you need is the press up your ass. 

Feathers open the double doors, and he heads inside. The first nurse he sees takes one look at them, and she pales. “Mr. Hawks, what-” 

“Something’s wrong. She’s sick, I know that much, but it doesn’t- somethings wrong.” He trills, wings fluffed and flapping a little. Your heart rate is too slow, your scent told him you were sick, you were vomiting- and you passed out. “Please,” He pleads, and that seems to snap her out of her stupor. 

She pulls out what looks like a small phone, and begins to talk into it. A few more nurses rush down the hall, immediately taking vitals and putting in an IV. Someone’s ordering fluids, someone else is ordering labs- it’s a sudden rush of people. All to take care of you. 

In the pure chaos, He keeps a feather wrapped around your wrist to know where you are. How you’re doing. His anxiety isn’t exactly quelled by the fact these nurses were attaching oxygen to you and running the line under your nose. 

“How are you related to the patient?” One of the nurses suddenly approaches him, and he’s ripped from his thoughts. Shit- he’d have to come up with something convincing 

“Her boyfriend. What’s going on?” The shouting and blur of people rushing around him is almost overwhelming. The nurse takes a moment to respond. 

“I’m sorry to inform you… your girlfriend has had a miscarriage. She was barely more than 5 or 6 weeks along.” His blood runs ice cold. 

You were pregnant… with what could only be presumed to be your ex’s child. His fists clench at his sides, and he finds himself asking the question he dreaded most before he can stop himself. “Do you… do you know what caused it?” He grits his teeth. The answer he got was worse than what he assumed. 

“Blunt force trauma, likely due to abuse. Her body- she’s lost a lot of blood, and due to how recent the loss is, her body is going into shock triggered by her illness.” For a moment, the world stops. There’s no longer people rushing around him, no longer a gurney with someone he swears he knows- just��� a sense of loss. 

“She had a child..?” Is all he can murmur out. From what he could tell, your ex was a piece of work. You probably didn’t even know about the pregnancy in the first place- fuck, was it one you even wanted? Thoughts race through his mind faster than he could even consider flying. 

Your ex had knocked you up, dumped you- and because of what he can only assume to be abuse, you lost the kid. 

You lost a piece of yourself. And you didn’t even know. 

He’s snapped out of his own mind by someone placing a hand on his arm. He jerks away out of instinct, and a nurse holds up her hands in a defensive position. His amber gaze softens, and both his wings and shoulders slump. “We’ve got her stabilized. Fluids, a blood transfusion, oxygen and antibiotics. She’ll be ok,” The nurse gives him a small smile. 

“... thank you,” His voice is almost hoarse, and he dips his head in thanks. She nods, glancing down the hall. 

“Room 607- We aren’t sure when she’ll wake up, but she’s just resting. Everything came back either good, or as an easy fix.” He nods again, eyes flicking back up to the hall. 

Without another word, he strides forward. Here, he has to put on that stupid hero persona. Like the person he went on a date with at least 12 hours ago wasn’t in the hospital. Like he didn’t learn they had a miscarriage because of their ex. Like he didn’t know them at all. 

Absolute bullshit. 

He knocks on the door a bit, then peeks through the small opening. You’re hooked up to several different IV lines, oxygen, and something to sense your vitals. Keigo is careful, not wanting to awaken you too prematurely. You looked exhausted, and… 

You were beautiful when you slept. 

The tubes and wires didn’t take away from that. Even now, with bags of blood and saline pumping into you, you looked at utter peace. It was oddly comforting, despite everything that’s happened. One of his hands carefully reaches forward, as if even the slightest mistake would awaken you. 

His fingers brush some of the hair away from your face, and a soft, almost depressing coo leaves his chest. You looked so much like them.. 

He pulls his hand away. No, you were different. You weren’t the kid he fell in love with all those years ago. They were dead, long gone, lost to time. 

He sighs, running a calloused hand down his face. “Fuck…” he murmurs, glancing back over at you. 

Your hair frames your face so nicely, with the way it has settled. Your body, now somewhat exposed… despite the bruises he could now see, was flawless in his eyes. Every little mark had a story, he could assume. He found himself studying your sleeping form as if you were a work of art. 

In some ways, he supposed you were. 

The moment your eyes open, he almost reaches for your hand- but refrains himself. You didn’t like being touched. Being unconscious and needing to go to the hospital, that’s one thing. Unless you ok’d it or it was an emergency, he wouldn’t touch you. 

“Kei.. go…?” Your words, after literally passing out on his bathroom floor- well, no it makes sense that it’s his name. You probably didn’t want to wake up in some random white room with a stranger. 

“Hey, hey.. ‘m right here,” he gives you a soft smile, hand next to yours- just close enough that, if you wanted, you could take it. Your bleary eyes meet his, and after a few moments pass, they widen with panic. 

They dart around, taking everything in and- there’s fear written all over your face. In your eyes, your scent- his wings twitch a bit, which catches your attention. He trills in distress, body begging to soothe you, but he can’t. He can’t touch you. 

“Dove, hey, please, look at me, yeah?” He coos, and when your eyes shift to his, he smiles a little. “There she is… you’re ok, pretty girl. You passed out, and your heart rate felt funny, so I wanted to just get it looked at.” 

Your eyes trail to the blood, the saline, and antibiotics. When your brows furrow, he takes a deep breath. Then, the hardest words he’s had to say in a long time push past his lips. 

“They… the doctors said you had a miscarriage. I’m… I’m so sorry, [Name]...”

His words carve into your chest, squeezing your heart until it’s about to burst. “I… what..?” Your words are barely even there. It hurts to talk, hurts to breathe, and the room feels just a little too small suddenly. 

Miscarraige. 

You’d been pregnant. 

You’d been pregnant with the kid of the man- no, the monster- that held you in an iron grip for over 3 years. 

Your chest is caving in on itself, and you claw at it. Sitting up, you can faintly register the feeling of tubes against your skin. 

He killed his own child, inside of you. You hadn’t even known you’d been pregnant- your eyes widen. 

You can faintly remember bits and pieces of that night. Your chest tightens impossibly more, and you can’t breathe. Your lungs aren’t working right, and the room is spinning. 

You were pregnant. 

He assaulted you, and you got pregnant because of it. 

When a hand comes to wave in front of your face, you slap it, shooting back into bed. “Don’t- d-don’t fucking touch me-” you snarl, eyes darting around the room. You needed out. You had to get out. 

You had to breathe. 

The faint noise of machines beeping and people subsequently flooding into the room only made you panic more. You couldn’t even cry, or mourn the loss of something you could’ve had. 

Did you even want it?

That thought disgusted you. It wasn’t an it, it- it was a person, it.. You slowly come down from your heightened state, looking down at your stomach. You tentatively place a hand on it. 

You… lost the child, because you’d pissed him off. 

It’s your fault. 

“[Name]?” Keigo’s soft voice breaks through your thoughts. Your eyes slowly trail up to meet his. When you speak, there’s something missing from your voice. You can hear it, even though you can’t place what it is. 

“I… this is my fault, I pissed him off, and..” You murmur, and he immediately shakes his head, trilling and clicking sounds coming from him. The medical staff, seemingly placated by your now calm state, began to filter out. One of them shows Keigo where the nurses button is, in case you need something.

“No, no it isn’t- you didn’t ask to be pregnant, and- you sure as hell didn’t ask to lose the kid…” There’s a gentleness to his voice you hadn’t quite registered before. Your head slowly felt less like there was cotton stuffed inside of it, and instead like a jackhammer was splitting it apart. 

You’ve been in the hospital before- specifically this one. But why? For what?

“I.. I’ve been here before-” You whisper, brows twitching together. His head cocks to the side. 

“It’s… a well known hospital,” He tries, but you shake your head. 

“No, I- I had procedures done. I can’t remember what they were, but-” You’re cut off with a coughing fit. Your throat hurts like hell, but- you need to get your thoughts out. 

“Fuck- I can’t- why can’t I just-” You murmur, frustration leaking into your tone. 

“[Name], hold on a sec- you just passed out, you’re sick as shit, and literally had a miscarriage- I’d be concerned if there wasn’t something weird going on in your head.” He teases a little, though genuine concern is audible in his tone. 

“Take a deep breath. Talk to me.” 

You pause, taking in his suggestion. After a deep breath, you felt… a little better. You purse your lips, and speak again. 

“... my mom brought me here when I was little to get something done. I can’t remember much around that time, other than that…” You murmur. His head tilts. 

“I’m sure we could ask for your chart, look at your history?” He offers, and you nod. 

“Y-yeah, that’s… that’s a good idea..” You can’t shake the feeling that something isn’t right. But… while your mother wasn’t great, it’s not like she’d hurt you, right..? 

Right…?

[sweetpascal]

: : back to the old house [ series ] : :

series pairing: joel miler x fem!reader

series summary: your life takes a dramatic turn when you run away from home only to return with an unhappy marriage and a young daughter. struggling to cope with your current reality, you find solace and distraction in a local contractor named joel. as your connection deepens, you must confront your past and present choices, navigate the complexities of your relationships, and ultimately decide what you truly want out of life.

series warnings: SSSLLLOOOWWWW BBBUUURRRRNNNN, pretty angsty, heavy content (alcoholism, domestic disturbances, physical violence), (TW) mentions of homophobia, (TW) mentions of miscarriage, no outbreak, reader struggles with mental health, AGE GAP (reader is mid-late 20s, joel is late 40s), no specific set location, infidelity, filthy smut (the chapter warnings will be more descriptive lol)

series notes: this is the first joel fic/series that i've written and i surely hope that i've written his character correctly. after watching tlou, i grew fond of him 🥹 also, i really wanted to give bill and frank's relationship a bigger spotlight, so i hope i succeeded 🩷 warning, this series is going to be a huge rollercoaster of emotions, so buckle up.

read on ao3 !

follow @sweetpascal-notifs for future fic updates.

last updated 04 22 2024

ᝰ.ᐟ means smut.

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

[ numbers of chapters are undetermined. ]

[artsninspo]

“RESENTMENT”

Summary: Jamie needs a favour from his ex-girlfriend while in a pinch. What follows is angst and a conversation governed by history and bittersweet memories.

Author's Note: Original angsty piece for Jamie and the reader.

Pairing: Jamie (Topboy) X Reader

TW: Mentions of miscarriage

Word Count: 1.5K

Being the missus of a roadman is a rewardless position. The lies and cheating aren't even the worst of it. You live under constant threat because of your connection to a man that isn’t even around that often. If the threat to your own person isn’t peril enough, the threat of losing the man you love to the violence of the roads is sure enough. It does something to you, and it isn't nice. It's like every argument, every issue, every boundary is thwarted because time is limited. Because you're haunted by the what if. What if tonight's the night he doesn't come home. It's even harder because this was never Jamie's future plan. He wanted to continue studying business - legitimately. He never wanted to carry weapons, sell drugs and take lives. But somehow the memory of the fun loving boy could no longer keep you. As he got deeper into the game, you found yourself drifting further and further away. Then sex was the only way you found yourselves connecting, everything else was arguments. When you ended things at first he laughed vowing to give you time. Then after two weeks of fortitude he grew resentful and started acting like a single man. It was the last straw and the final nail in your relationship's coffin.

You squint at the security monitor as you see Jamie outside, you check your phone to see five missed calls and roll your chair back. You lock your workstation and head out to the main entrance, your heels clicking against the tiled floor. Pulling your blazer closed you push open the office's side doors. Your brows ask him what he’s doing here before you even speak. His eyes scan your pencil skirt, blouse and blazer. He smirks in spite of his stress.

“I need you to look after Stefan, Aaron’s studying and I’m afraid Stef’s going down the wrong path.” he states and it's your turn to look him over. He’s visibly exhausted and by the swelling of his brow he’s been in some kind of altercation.

“For how long?”

“What do you have visitors coming by? Stef will cramp your style?” Jamie snaps being confrontational.

“I’ll need to pick him up from school won't I, and drop him off - I’ll need to make arrangements at work” you explain not opting to argue.

“Y/N?” he starts 

“Jamie, whatever it is, sort it out. I want no involvement” you sigh wishing things were different.

“I have a storage unit, where I kept the things of my parents I couldn't throw out. There's an old canvas bag in the large purple luggage. It has fifty bags. If anything happens to me take care of my brothers with that” his words cause overwhelm. You can feel your face grow hot and tears threaten to well. 

“Is there a key or something?” you swallow determined not to break.

“Code, it's your birthday - day, month, year” he reasons like it's supposed to mean something. Like it's supposed to mean as much as him leaving the life. You fill your lungs with a deep breath wondering when love  stopped being enough.

“Fifty bags is enough to start fresh” you mutter. “You could go abroad and finish your degree with all your experience and you would be so successful. You could keep your brothers safe on your own and live a good life without looking over your shoulder” You repeat the same plea that has fallen on deaf ears so many times before.

“I can’t run,” he responds again.

“So what are you going to do risk your life, hide your wealth, stress, fuck around and piss your brothers off for the rest of your life?” you ask.

“What are you gonna do? Keep pretending that you don't love me? Work long hours for modest pay. Date respectable lads that mum and dad approve of, but bore you half to death and repeat the monotony until you're old and grey?” he retorts.

“YN?” you hear and turn to see Ray, one of your colleagues in the doorway looking concerned. He’s something of a work husband. Older, maybe near forty, fit, handsome and charming but not in a sleazy way. “You alright?” he asks.

“She wouldn't be out here if she didn't know me or want to talk to me” Jamie says with cheek.

“I’m fine Ray” You nod, giving him a smile that is returned as he heads back in.

“Ten days, I need you to watch them for ten days” Jamie clarifies finally after too much irrelevant chatter.

“That's fine”

“Thank you” he says, strained.

“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for them” you specify and Jamie swallows.

“Maybe you can save one of us,”  he nods, pulling on his hood as he walks back to his car. You have half the heart to follow him in to try to convince him there's better for him. You curse yourself as you step forward pulling your jacket closed to weather the wind as you make it to his car. You get in the passenger seat and Jamie's eyes are exhausted.

“You don't get to just come here and dump the possibility of you dying on me. You can't just leave me with the responsibility of your brothers” You snap and he shakes his head.

“You’re the only person I know that can do it properly and that Stef and Aaron love and respect” he snaps.

“Jamie” you whisper as your head and heart battle between leaving and trying to reason with him. “You would never let me go if I did what you're doing now” you reason and he sighs putting his head back against the seat in frustration. “You’re enough, we’re enough we have enough” you snap as the tears begin to stream down your cheeks. “Don't you think we deserve more than you leaving us. Especially Stef and Aaron they’ve already survived enough”

“Y/N I should have left when you asked me the first time. There’s no running now. I can’t run from it”

“Jamie, I was pregnant. I was pregnant and I lost the baby because of the stress. That day I went to the hospital for bad cramps. That's what they told me happened.” you sniffle and his eyes go to your stomach. He’s him again and not hard and detached. The emotions roll in fast. He nods looking straight ahead as tears well into his eyes. A few fall before he wipes them away.

“Why didn't you tell me?” he sniffles.

“I lost faith in you, in us … I wanted to be angry. I wanted an out” you whisper. “I knew if I told you, you’d be there for me and I’d be in it. But it wouldn't last. God forbid it happened again.” you confess as his tears subside. He looks you over with red eyes and resentment. We watch each other like strangers for what feels like minutes in silence, trying to make sense of the people in front of us - so far from who we once were.

“Maybe everyone is better off if I’m gone then” he mutters.

You look him over drawing in a deep breath, you'd beg if you believed it’d have some kind of impact.

“I’ll look after Stef and Aaron” you concede reaching to unlock his door.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I’m sorry about our baby” he apologises. You’ve already had your time to reconcile your loss and the reality of losing Jamie in your life as a friend, partner and eventual father of your children.

“Jamie, you know what I pray for?” you ask, turning back to him. He holds your gaze but doesn't respond, too raw with emotion to welcome more revelations. “I pray that in like sixty years I’m somewhere with other really old people and you're there” your voice cracks as tears well. “And you're fat, wrinkly, grey and balding” you pause trying to contain your emotions. “And you have kids and grandkids and you’re happy and you’ve had a full life” you break. When the tears have stopped clouding your vision you see Jamie’s broken too.

He resents you for leaving, for starting a life without him and not looking back, for dreaming of a future without him when he starts every day with regret the moment he opens his eyes and your side of the bed is empty. He’d never pray for sixty more years of life without you.

“I have to go,” he says finally. You force your heart to accept the absence. To accept the reality that this could be the last time you see him. You steel yourself against breaking and falling back into old patterns.

“Take care” you sigh.

“‘I love you,” he says, choosing truth over resentment. It's a hallmark of growth.

“I love you too Jamie” you respond, making him smile. It's been months since you've said those words.

You'll always love him.

_______________

PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO LIKE, COMMENT AND REBLOG. Let me know if you enjoyed this piece :)

[melsie-sims2]

I play with the miscarriage mod and wasn't taking the best care of my (unknown at the time) pregnant Sim. Sooooo yeah, please be aware, the next post in my queue mentions pregnancy loss.

The story portion of the post is short and to the point. I don't go into details and will not make it a huge plot point moving forward. If/when the topic comes back up in the future, I will always add the above header AND tag with a trigger warning.

If you don't want to see the post on your dashboard at all, please block the tag #tw miscarriage.

I just want everyone to feel safe and to enjoy reading my blog. 💚