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visiblenostalgia · 4 months

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The Future Of The Internet: Data Sets

(and dominant sign+planet calculations)

as fated by my last post, I’ve since ran the numbers and figured out what planets/signs to look for in regards to the future of the digital space.

FYI:

-> All shortened key points will be shown in the graphs alternative description.

The Process:

(personally, not professionally) calculated planets all have been started with a base value of '1.5' to give leverage so there wouldn't be any wonky zero's and non-values for extra measure. These will be dependent variables based on if there was a case of exaltation or dominance which adds a point, and if they were in fall or detriment to dock them a point. That way, the minimal value that can be traced was a '0.5' at the lowest. The highest (because of adding another point based on how many times a sign got ticked, therefore the ruling planet gets emphasis), can result in a '5.5'.

However, what can be said for the signs, is that all have a base value of '1'. signs have been added points based on how many planets have touched it and which degree they were applicable too (therefore giving them an extra point based on degree theory). These would be our independent variables. Because of the fact it's all based on how many times this sign was marked in the ephemeris at the time of data collection.

Without further ado..... more after the cut

The Content:

Date 1: The Internet

April 30th 1993

In terms of planets:

Because of how new it was back then and due to the fact that it was an open ticket to letting the creativity of the people manifest quickly, small businesses and people alike would begin to put their external or internal personality out there. Hence the Sun and Moon being the two most dominant objects within the chart.

It makes sense because of the rapid non-retrograde cycles for the two Luminaries to rule over the internet. Those change day by day and seeing at how we do things around here in the digital space, you can see where things change without a second thought.

One day it's the Kendrick n' Drake drama. Hitting you in the feels and getting you hyped up for the next drop. The next day it would have been.... god knows what else.

For it to cast lunar dominance also makes sense because of the strong pull to cast out emotionally-pulling articles/topics. Protests have been emotional, songs and influencers have this emotional spin on them, there's nothing stopping someone from expressing their issues on the internet. Hence why there's a bigger influence of people who have had it rough IRL on there. People flock to a place where they can be real.

Sadly though, since empathy also occurs within people, sometimes there's a propensity to worry about someone you don't know about irl. Be wise you never know if it's emotional bait either.

That can align well with lunar dominance as an Achilles heel for it. Manipulation and baiting.

Solar dominance would also and more likely be aligned with influencers. Check out any youtube's chart and look to their sun for a basic run-down on how their internet influence looks. Heck, if you're thinking about your hypothetical brand, what's your sun sign? Look for that!

The achilles heel for the solar dominance? Power. More preferably: Absolute power. You'll see THAT with some political figures or influencers. Dogma. Lots of ego. Not knowing when to slow down.

In terms of zodiacal sign:

Leo, Sagittarius and Capricorn take top spot.

The Leo energy can apply to the solar dominance stuff as stated above. But it's also inclined to rule over beauty standards and lots of glitz and glam. Enhancing the need to be 'popular' online.

Sagittarius would make sense due to the nature of the internet being what I like to call "man's greatest philosophical experiment". Not to mention the fact that libraries do give sagittarius energy as a whole. Internet Archive being a perfect case.

Capricorn as the final taker would have to stand a good case for being a business oriented place. Meant to be a second-hand referral place to a business. Paper-free business cards anyone?

The Possibilities and Vibes (Good):

For Lunar dominance = I don't know why but, being at your relative's/friend's house during Christmas, working on a website at their place while drinking a hot cocoa in the evening with that soft vintage glow of the ceiling fan. It's a second home for your internal self. Your *Alter* ego.

Solar = Pinterest. Lots and lots and lots of 'art hoe' vibes. Yellow colors and sunflowers. The sunflower caseify case for an iPhone. Sunflower stickers for your Macintosh/PC/Laptop (whatever you use).

Leo = wholesome beauty influencers. And I MEAAN wholesome. They bring everyone up legitimately instead of bringing someone down using subversive tactics to make someone think they look ugly. It's the kind to be all about 'good vibes' and even adding in sentences like 'if_____ isn't for you, that's okay! here's some alternatives.' and they go off.

AND LASTLY for our great giant ruling signs, lots of friendship energy. Getting together to have fun. Christmas break energy once again. The internet is a refuge. A vacation from real life whilst also being a place to work and get stuff done. Made for higher learning and business.

In fact on that last point I made. If the little ones weren't on it, I'm pretty sure the respect people have for one another like they did back in the 90s would still exist. (part of the Post-Break energy I see)

The Possibilities and Vibes (Concerning):

Lunar = Propensity to the manipulation and baiting people go looking for or creating online. Mental illnesses. Too much awareness that leaves people thinking too much, therefore poor mental health.

Solar/Leo = Popularity/Clout, unchecked ego

Sagittarius/Capricorn = Ghosting energy. Unchecked power. Hard serves of karma. Hacking. Communicative issues (Sag opposes Gemini (debilitated mercury))

Date 2: Geocities + Yahoo

January 28th 1999

In terms of planets:

The moon seems to still have a hold when the geocities website was acquired by yahoo. So, same good and bad from the above statements on the internet itself.

Jupiter dominance seems to show more of a propensity to expand ones horizons mentally. It sort of aligns well with the past energies of Sagittarius (due to the ruling planet BEING Jupiter). So, because of that, websites and internet hubs that were formally in the grid of being on their own network, hence "geocities", then the acquirement via Yahoo is quite literally a Jupiterian move. Choosing to merge and expand horizons for online dwellers.

In terms of zodiac signs:

Aquarius takes the top spot. Very much adding onto the effect of how humanity can turn their own piece of the internet into a hub for their own niche group. Must this point be the start of forums? Most likely.

Taurus sets itself up to be the next dominant sign right after Aquarius. Which, for Yahoo at the time, this was a big financial win for them. A good move to boost revenue while the people gained a positive aspect to be seen by more people online. Increasing availability and access to the people.

The Possibilities and Vibes (Good):

Because we look back on that now with nostalgia, it brought up the influence of Fruitger Aero. Or at least was the catalyst of it back then. Aquarius' ruling color IS an ice blue while Taurus has the earthy green tones that add to the welcoming energy of this proto-2.0 internet.

Gen Z and Xennials happy place. Lowkey was more fun back then cause of it, right?

The Possibilities and Vibes (Concerning):

Aquarius does have some bits of edgy humor. Many sites that were dedicated to some people's internal lives were sorta... gothic and sometimes even a little uncanny to be fair. But that was the allure of the internet since we had respect for people's aesthetic decisions. Everyone's ma'am's and grams wanted in on it. And you ended up going in too cause you were curious.

It was sort of like how the boomers said 'the kids played in the 100 degree weather with a metal slide. but they grew up and did okay' kind of energy.

For older Gen Z's (20 & over btw (basically myself as well)) it might go a little something like this; 'we went on supposedly haunted websites, played grand theft auto on the '360 and played slenderman games as well as found adult party websites cause we thought we were cool for doing so. it was funny and sometimes still is today, but we grew up alright. Right? Some of us have gone off to college...." you can include the rest here. Go nuts as you wish.

Date 3: Neocities

June 28th 2013

In terms of planets:

Lunar dominance still has some sway. Same for Jupiter in close third. Take what's been said above about the conjoining and accessibility of Geocities and Yahoo as reference.

The biggest dog by far here has got to be Neptune. Because of the fact that at the time of this website coding hub's creation also coincided with the first ten degrees of the Neptune in Pisces transit, there's a lot of illusive and mysteriousness to the vibes of the Neo-y2k internet. Alt/indie-sites were much on the chagrin of the looks of proto-2.0, but have also been inclined to be inclusive and welcoming to all those that wish to be here. Increased sensitivity and overbearing energy. A 'don't hurt them they're small' energy.

In terms of signs:

Cancer and Pisces dominance.

Notice how this place doesn't subject you to push for anything other than a hub to kick back and relax in. Scour through the psyche of many people and learn what they're into. Not to mention this also acts as a place where people can ignite their 'alter-ego's once again.

There's no need to be a business here. This is all for hobbies and nigh else. Sometimes it can also work as a family blog. And that makes sense. It brings people together to show what kind of coding they can pull off.

The Possibilities and Vibes (Good):

Lunar/Jupiter/Cancer= A second place to call home returns. The Alter Ego can return. Respect comes back full front and center. The vibes of being around the Christmas tree or with the universal/generational/found family come back.

Neptune/Pisces = you can create... whatever your heart desires. Because the internet has expanded so rapidly over the years after the merger between yahoo and the former geocities, there's so many textures and designs out there for people to use and conceptualize. Truly a place to get creative without scrutiny.

The Possibilities and Vibes (Concerning):

Cancer/Pisces/Moon/Neptune= Due to the way that the world works now, it's tough to get into. It's not like Wix and with people tending to now procrastinate (because of the technology addictions we've been getting ourselves into), it's rather small and niche. Nothing is ever handed to you on a plate, and it shows in some of the sites that people take forever to master/decorate it due to how much their own personal life outside of their tech takes up.

Jupiter = ..... I will say this much about it.... I find no negativity here with this planet when it concerns the iffy vibes I get with Neocities. It's just the struggle of finding your feet here.

For the future of the internet:

Points to check:

Anything aspecting Neptune or wherever Neptune transits to. Online culture and pop culture follows

Jupiter for how information and higher thought processes are taken into account

The Moon for the drama and what/how people will be beefing about in the online space

My predictions (shortened):

BREAK (which seems more likely with all the rage being sent everywhere online and especially within comment sections in certain places):

Smaller sized networks. More individualistic networks. Like Neocities, Tumblr and Discord will gradually be flocked to.

Great decrease in social media by some generations. (If parents don't watch their time on social media, the kids won't either. be a good model is all I can say)

Greater emphasis on learning how to use the tools we're given (at least with the upcoming Jupiter in Gemini transit)

If there are kids online (17 and under, yes I'm calling that out), they're gonna be talked to about the dangers in being online. Communication on the digital space. Confidentiality being the big main issue. Figuring out what's real and what isn't. Separating yourself FROM the addiction before the brain fully develops.

If political content reigns somewhere, may it be 4chan forever and always. Reddit seems like an easy blame, but 4chan is most definitely the place for political slander and content.

Big names like X, Meta, Wix and Youtube for example are gonna be the center network. People will still do their content through there, but it's greater emphasis on business suggests children shouldn't be roaming there in the first place.

Your best case of kids on the internet would be on Edmodo. If you don't know what that is, look it up. I used to use it back in the day during my days in elementary school because they were experimenting with that sorta thing.

As always, take what resonates and I hope y'all's weekends go well.

Thank you for your time in reading the statistics and the ratings. I hope I made my mark well!

See you on the flip side!

~visiblenostalgia

#astrology #astrology observations #astro notes #astro observations #astro community #pluto in aquarius #peace and love #horoscope

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ingoldendreams · 1 year

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It’s dangerous outside. I hear my god say when I try to peer out the window.

I pause in my action, too-human curiosity warring against my faith.

Finally, faith wins out and I step away from the curtains.

It is dark outside, no shred of light entering my room.

It has been that way for a while now.

I open my closet and take out another cup of instant noodles from the never-ending stash. It is warm in my hands. I open it and place my lips to the side of hard plastic. I down the contents.

It is too salty, as instant food often is.

I lick my lips and throw the cup into the trash. It enters and joins the rest of the cups I had downed.

I turn back to my computer, starting it.

Idly, I count the seconds as it whirs to life, age taking its toll on the old machine. The lights flicker.

Ten minutes later, a bright screen pops up. I open a blank document and start writing.

The Lord of the Mysteries fell into slumber, my god dictates.

Fingers run across keys. I don’t say a word, even when my god speaks too fast for me to follow. My god will not slow down for me, I have learnt this. I fill in the gaps with my own imagination. My god has said nothing, a silent agreement, I would like to think.

And within the cocoon, a young worm breaks out of its shell.

I type on, my mind dull to the strange words strung together on the screen.

So begins, my god croons, the tale of the Lady of Misfortune.

Beginnings are always an end. I have learnt this from countless stories I have scribed.

Without waiting for my god to say so, I save the document and close it.

My god does not say a word. I stand up from the rickety chair, leather peeling off it in bits and pieces. I stretch, bones cracking and popping in a way anyone who has ever worked an office job would feel.

I glance at the curtains, what was once a bright yellow now washed to a dull grey. It hangs still, not a single movement to it.

My fingers itch for the edges of the worn cloth. I resist the temptation.

“When will it be safe outside?” I ask.

Soon, I hear my god whisper lovingly like a parent to their child, very soon.

I glance at the thousands of documents stored in my endless storage.

Soon, I think, and cannot help but doubt.

I haven’t left my room in a while.

Reaching for the doorknob sends palpitations in my chest, beating and drumming like a balloon squeezed tight to the point of bursting.

The thought of drawing the curtains would set a nagging god upon me.

I sit blankly on my bed, looking at my computer, blaring out a song. It is staticky and cuts off at the most inopportune times, a sign of its age.

Unable to bear it any longer, I stop the song and open up a game instead.

It is an old game, but still widely played.

I enter the server and kindly ignore the glitch in its name. It still works – there was no need to complain about cosmetic issues.

My avatar appears in a town square. I open up my friend page.

Most of my friends had stopped playing a while back, but I had found a few more friends within the game. They were odd characters, but when there were no more than a hundred players left remaining in the game, beggars couldn’t be choosers.

Everyone had a unique title. I had gained mine from spending time within the in-game library, penning down – certain fictional works that certainly had no relation to any existing player, widely received by the thousands of players there once was.

‘Library of Babel’

A popup from a chat caught my eye. It was from one of my friends, a presumable-woman (you never knew who was behind the mouse of a character) who always insisted on using the full title given to me instead of the shortened ‘Babel’ or ‘Babe’ my other friends had taken to calling me.

‘What’s up, Matron of Chaos?’ I typed. It was a pain, having to type out her full title, but she got upset if I did otherwise. She never really said so, but I figured it out after I had died to her summoned creatures one too many times.

I still died to her creatures every now and then, but it never hurt to please her more.

‘The Red Mist has infringed once again upon my property. As per the rules, you will be the judge and arbiter in the absence of the Black Pharaoh.’

Not this again.

As of late, the Matron of Chaos had been picking a fight with the Mother of the Red Mist. It was around the time the Red Mist’s title changed.

Still, with the Black Pharaoh missing, I had been dragged in to witness their fights and arguments – if it could even be called that. As annoying and arrogant the guy had been, I couldn’t help but miss his presence now.

I watched numbly as my avatar died and respawned, caught in the aftermath of some powerful AOE attacks, resting my cheek on my arms as I yawned.

In the depths of my mind, I could sense my god watching this petty squabble with great interest.

I turned my attention away from the battle and to my friends list instead, scouring through the still active players.

‘Master of Dimensions – inactive’

Huh. That was one name I hadn’t thought would go off. Master of Dimensions, or Scammer, as I liked to call him had been planning something or the other against his perpetual feud with Formless Chasm.

I scrolled down the list and confirmed that Formless Chasm was inactive too.

I leaned back into my chair and sighed.

More people dropping out of the game.

Absently, I reached for the curtain.

It’s dangerous outside, my god hissed. I obediently withdrew my hand, looking back at the computer screen.

The screen flickers, the game closing and making way for a new document.

I sigh, but wriggle my fingers and prepare myself for another writing session.

A person walked through my door.

I turned to look. The person had no face. And not in the way that meant the person had no features – I saw through his head, like there was nothing there, much like a badly rendered image filter.

“How did you get in here?” I asked. “It’s not safe outside.”

The person stood right at the doorway, facing me – or I assumed so, it was hard to tell. The person didn’t answer – not that it could without a face.

“Who are you?” I asked again. “Do you not remember who you are?”

My computer screen flickered, then bluescreened on me.

ERROR

RETRIEVING USER DATA…

USER NAME CORRUPTED

USER PROFILE CORRUPTED

ERROR

RETRIEVING BACKUP DATA…

USER NAME RETRIEVED

USER PROFILE RETRIEVED

The screen flickered again, and the screen was restored.

The person’s face was also slowly retrieved and pieced back together, pixel by pixel.

“Do you remember who you are now?” I asked. “Who are you?” I asked again.

The person didn’t reply.

I waited another minute before it became too late to wait for a reply.

BACKUP FAILED

DELETING USER DATA…

USER DATA DELETED

The person crumbled, body changing into 1s and 0s that could no longer be sustained.

I sat back as the person disappeared, leaving me to my lonesome once again.

“Who are you?”

I kicked the floor, turning my chair around to look at the person standing in my doorway. This time, I wasn’t the one who had spoken.

“Do you remember yourself?” I asked.

The person before me had a face – a sense of self, no matter how blurred it was.

The person was silent for a second, then replied, “yes.”

“Come in,” I said.

The person stepped inside my room cautiously.

“I am the Library of Babel,” I said, “are you worthy to be my god?”

#lotm #lord of the mysteries #my writing

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entropy-game-dev · 2 years

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v0.04a patchnotes and testing

The test of v0.04a ended a week ago, and while there were a few more crashes and bugs, the game is getting surprisingly stable (thankfully!!) thanks to my poor friends who kindly volunteered to test it! Some of the highlights of this test were as follows:

An actually awesome moment where my friend decided to unexpectedly extend their exploration by going down to the second floor, then immediately falling through a hole taking them to the completely unmapped third floor. His oxygen at this point was half, and so I told him, he should probably find his way back if possible.

The enemies on the lower floors spawn in greater numbers, and so it was quite tense, but he was relieved to come across the stairs leading upwards. Back on the second floor, he was able to find his way through an unknown map back to the first floor, but started to run low on oxygen. Finally, his oxygen ran out a few steps before the exit. The suit’s life support system kicked in, draining an increasing amount of energy with every step. Finally, with one step to go, his energy ran out, and took a tick of health damage. But just one! He got back to the ship just fine and breathed (pun not intended) a sigh of relief.

And let me tell you, the first hint of some emergent gameplay that I envisioned with the systems I had implemented, it felt really good! As for funny bugs/polish issues, he found a few:

When enemies are reduced to 0 hp, they begin exploding and don’t stop until it’s their turn (as they might want to talk to you and get recruited). However, we were discussing something and having the explosions play constantly at full volume was very distracting! (Explosion sfx volume fades out now after a while and enemies take their turn instantly when they have 0 hp.

Enemies that are forced to move to the upper row of the battlefield flip their sprite (so it looks like they’re standing on the ceiling), but I had the coordinates wrong so they were shifted too far up, and outside the viewport!

There was also this one really dodgy-looking mining node sprite (actually needs a rework, it looks awful), and my friend kept running into it and asking “what the hell is this” everytime he saw it, as it really does not resemble anything, and we were both cracking up laughing each time.

v0.05 is almost ready to go, and I expect balance testing will be happening soon!

And now, the full patchnotes of this version below the cut...

Features:

Access the options menu in the prologue by pressing spacebar!

Reset the game from the options menu!

Stars don't show up on the screen if you have a save game!

Most moves now have a 1 turn cooldown to prevent enemy (and player?) spam

Screen glitch effects now fade in and out!

Save games backup now (10 backups!!!!!!!!!!)

Hold shift + press a move key to direcitonally inspect something

Polish:

Inspecting enemies was locked behind an upgrade but it's important - replacement ability to come later

Removed erroneous space in epilepsy warning

In the navigator, no longer makes a beep noise if you press L/R but there are no other locations to select

Made numbers animate based on what elemental affinity was hit

Scan move description text shortened

Rounded position of option text to avoid subpixels

Tutorials only show after you reach the ship for the first time

Minimap tiles now update immediately when colourblindness colour is changed

Inspect text on empty/unexplored tiles changes depending on exploration status

Mining nodes don't output the mining interaction text if you don't have the ability to mine

Disabled data gained output when not researching anything (Data does nothing without ongoing research)

Battle win tutorials now only show when you win the battle (i.e. gain xp) and not when you're running

Capped the move name length on the small information panel

Help overlay is now on F1 + tutorial message explaining that

Reduced sound effect of some of the metal step effects

Disabled random stepping text during the prologue

Fixed grammar error in interaction text for draining scrap

Swapped rotate/strafe controls, added confirm and cancel to left side

Bugs:

Debug research bypass removed

Debug control T to damage allies removed

Combat now has a reachable game over state

Hypnagogia ability was targeting the top row instead of the bottom

Enemies with the conducting affinity, spreading an attack to allies no longer crashes the game

Explosive spread now shifting enemies correctly on the vertical direction

Recruiting conditions relying on other units no longer crashes the game when triggering

Fixed targeting of summon moves

Changed defensive % modifiers to be multiplicative

Calming Wave and Optical Trap ranges (and animations) fixed from all cells to aoe

Hid all strengths/weaknesses/recruitment at the beginning of the game

Stopped crash when viewing recruitment of allies

Tutorials are now enabled by default

The right location's feature is now being deleted when interacting with treasure chests

Debug control for launching a cutscene (V) is now disabled

Dungeon features now properly fade out when collected

Dungeon features that steal resources now actually do so

End of battle results now displaying all XP, scrap, and parts given

Move execution code reordering: before, self-destruct was not working because it'd take away the HP as part of the move effect and then not execute the move due to missing HP

Parts category refreshes properly when you swap characters

Can no longer detect liquids ahead of you when the space hasn't been explored yet

Shader intensity option is now respected by shader

Can now interact with one time use machines

Fixed crash when removing unit from party

Ensured equipment was associated with the right slot when moving units around

Friendly robot dungeon features can now be interacted with again, made exception for robot not having sprite in the db

Fixed a crash when inspecting enemies

Fixed a crash when going into the options menu due to missing text

Fixed targeting being inverted

#indiedev #gamedev #gaming #pixel art #scifi #space #gamemaker #programming #rpg #robot #devblog #game #videogame

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reigntailors · 5 months

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Top Tips When Buying Your First Bespoke Suit Part 1

So you’re thinking of buying your first custom-made bespoke suit. Welcome to the club! But wait, where do you start? If you’re new to the custom garment scene, there are a few things you should research and decide on before you see a tailor. We’ve put together a short guide of what to have in mind before your appointment, and what your clothier can help you with during your one-on-one meeting. What’s your budget? The most important thing you should be thinking about before going to see a tailor is your budget. Knowing how much you can spend will immediately cut down on fabric options (and believe me there are MANY), and how much detail you can get into. Being upfront with your tailor will save you both time and energy. What’s the occasion? Do you wear a lot of suits and are finally ready to splurge on a bespoke suit? Maybe you’d like something special to wear on your wedding day, or a big event. Tell your tailor what the suit is going to be used for and how you want it to fit into your wardrobe. With this knowledge, your tailor will be able to guide you in choosing the right details to make your dream garment. Two or three piece? Though this may be determined based on your budget, it’s a good thing to think about. If you live in a warmer area but still liked to dress up, a three piece is a great option to have. You can even have the vest made out of a contrast fabric that can still be worn with or without the suit for even more wear. Single or double breasted? Both are classic styles, but a double breasted is definitely more of a stand out piece. For example, you can probably wear the same single breasted jacket 3 times a week. Once you’ve worn your double breasted people will notice a repeat outfit. Things to discuss: Pocket style? If you’re new to bespoke, you may want your tailor to take the reins regarding these next two details. There are a variety of pocket options and placements for your suit including flap, jetted, patch, slanted, and straight. You can have a chest pocket, coin pocket, double flaps, and many more combinations. Again, your tailor can educate you on which options to go with based on the reason you’re getting a suit. Some styles are more appropriate for certain occasions. Working buttons or faux? If you already know you want working buttonholes on your sleeves, voice it during your appointment. This is key to mention prior to any work being done on the jacket. Workable buttonholes are sometimes considered a key point on a custom bespoke jacket as the sleeve length needs to be exact. Once buttonholes are opened, it is impossible to shorten them and maintain the original design and proper proportions. Bonus Tips: If you’re inspired by a celebrity, street style, or Instagram post, email or print the pictures and have them available at your appointment. Pictures always help communicate your ideas in a more effective way. Whether you like the fit, fabric, or overall style, a tailor will be able to translate your ideas into something that looks best on you. Don’t be afraid to voice your opinion! Even if you’re a novice, don’t be afraid to speak up if you don’t like something. Being honest with your tailor is extremely important as a bespoke garment is an investment. We want you to enjoy your clothing! A true expert will able to understand your concerns and either provide feedback as to why they are recommending certain things, and how to achieve a compromise that satisfies your needs while not sacrificing the overall look.

#bespoke tailors in bangkok #best tailors in bangkok #custom tailors in bangkok #master tailor bangkok #tailor #tailor store bangkok #tailors in silom #thailand tailors #top tailors in bangkok #bangkok tailor

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thelampisaflashlight · 3 years

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Surprise, surprise, I’m back with more headcanons, this time it’s whether or not the ghouls understand sign language... which I am not at all putting off studying, noo... it’s not like I somehow misplaced my flashcards, what gave you that idea? Below the cut.

Aether: He knows a couple of signs, they’re the ones most people learn when they’re first starting out with sign language, but it’s better than nothing! He can pretty easily recall signs for colors, shapes, and animals, and knows a few for directional purposes if he needs to direct anything without disrupting a practice or performance by saying something aloud.

He fumbles on some words, in that he’ll twitch his fingers to kind of “erase/delete” what he’s just said, and then follow it up with the proper sign or something close to what he’s trying to imply.

Dewdrop: He mostly uses sign for directing purposes, or conveying general feelings across the stage or studio when they’re in the middle of practice or recording. However, he also knows a lot of sign specific swears, “bullshit” for example is one of his preferred ones.

He can’t really hold a conversation, but he at least recognizes the basic ones.

Multi/Swiss: Very, very basic understanding of signs beyond the classic “I love you” and basic pointing signs like “me” or “you”, though not for a lack of trying. He’s skilled with his hands, but something about the motions he needs to perform for certain signs doesn’t click.

He tried practicing with Dew, but Dew felt too conflicted between teaching him properly and just teaching him swears.

Rain: He’s probably the easiest to hold a conversation with in terms of using sign, because he practiced a broader range of words and knows some signs that are considered more like “slang” or shortened sign. He knows how to hand spell out his name, but sometimes he just does the sign for “Rain” and that tends to work out just fine.

He’s tried helping Swiss practice a couple times, but he hasn’t managed to make anything really stick just yet. Repetition is key.

Mountain: He mainly understands the ones that convey specific emotions like “awkward” or “scared”, because it’s a good way to quietly convey if someone isn’t feeling safe or needs a moment. Like Rain, he can hand spell his name, but will sometimes just use the sign for “Mountain” because it’s easier.

If he can’t remember a sign, he does a bit of charades or just types out his message on his phone or writes it down.

Cumulus: She knows about as much as Rain, but she learned with a different system of sign language, so sometimes it doesn’t translate the same way. She mostly uses it to communicate across the stage, or to signal to the others if there’s some kind of situation that needs to be addressed subtly.

She spells out her name most of the time, because she can’t really default to “cloud”.

Cirrus: Her and Swiss are on team, “Good enough for government work”. She wants to understand more than she does, but she spent way too long laughing at the sign for “poop” when she was learning to focus properly.

Her goal is to know more signs than Swiss.

Sunshine: She’s starting lessons, and picking things up quickly, but she still has a long way to go. Aether is helping her practice since he has the basic signs down, and Dew is supplementing here and there, which means teaching her how to say obscene things.

She also practices with Cirrus from time to time.

Bonus Copia: He’s like Aether, he knows basic signs, and will use them to signal to the ghouls or venue staff/security when need be, but, like Cumulus, the system he learned isn’t the same as the others, so he will default to simple “universal” gestures and pointing to convey his meaning.

#Lamp rambles #the band ghost #nameless ghouls #ghost band #shitghosting #Lamp makes headcanons for the hell of it #I did find my flashcards while coming up with ideas for this and put them somewhere more obvious

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stillness-in-green · 3 years

Text

MVA In Memoriam (2/5)

The Comprehensive Account of the Butchering of My Villain Academia

(Introduction and Part One, Episode 108: My Villain Academia)

Part Two, Episode 109: Revival Party

Chapter 224 – Revival Party

• Mr. Compress’s side comment about how the distance Re-Destro wants them to travel means he must know they have warp capabilities. Also shortens his subsequent line, removing the bit about how their position has been locked onto, leaving only the marveling about the dude on the phone being the kind of person who has access to a satellite camera. Not a major cut, but it did strip out a bit of reiteration on how very Seen the League is. The warp line is another nod to how the MLA’s been doing their research—in particular, it ties in nicely with RD’s observations about the Noumu. He talks, there, about something Dabi said after the High End fight, which means he must also know that Dabi was warped out by an “Ujiko-san.”

• Also Mr. C’s observation that they haven’t broken Machia yet, and his posed question about what to do. Mr. Compress, I’m so sorry that you’re so wordy and lose so many quips and asides because the anime was set on brutally scything out every line of non-essential dialogue it could find.

• Ujiko’s extremely hilarious, “Listening to Villain Radio is my new favorite hobby,” line. Why would you cut this; this line is hysterical.

• The bit where Mr. Compress has the bright idea to use a High End Noumu like the one Dabi used, Ujiko rejects the suggestion out of hand, citing production woes, and Shigaraki says that he wasn’t going to ask for one of them anyway. Aside from being more cut Compress content (or “Comptent,” for short), it helps center the timeline somewhat at a point where the manga is jerking it around all over; it also shows that the League has been keeping up with news from the outside world. It also shows that at least one of them thought about using the Noumu—and since we know Re-Destro did some rationalizing on that scenario too, it’s good to see that it is at least briefly on the table. Further, Ujiko provides a few rare details about the Noumu creation process. Firstly, that AFO is normally involved, so his absence makes the procedure much more difficult (though not, apparently, impossible). Secondly, that Hood-chan was the only Noumu who’d actually reached the testing stage. This will be important later, for Ujiko’s agonizing about unleashing them early/Mirko having to fight four of them at once. Also, I just miss Mr. C’s funny little head wilt when Ujiko immediately turns down his “use some Noumu” idea. Ditto Shigaraki’s blasé shrug and little grin. Again, not to harp on the art too much, but man I wish the anime had kept all the fierce little grins and tight, incensed smirks Shigaraki has through the majority of this and the phone call sequence.

• Spinner’s line, “Without knowing squat about what we’re up against?!” A minor cut, as these things go, but it reiterates that there’s a chance RD is bluffing and the League has no way to know one way or the other, and demonstrates that the League can give Shigaraki some pushback on his decisions without having to worry about getting dusted for the temerity.[1]

• Takes one of Spinner’s lines—“Wait. I get it. Wherever you go, Shigaraki, he’ll sniff you out and hunt you down.”—and gives it to Shigaraki instead. Because fuck Spinner’s growing understanding of Shigaraki and the way his mind works, I guess! It’s especially notable that Spinner figures this out when Mr. C had completely the wrong idea about Shigaraki’s intentions—it demonstrates the way Spinner is gradually aligning himself with Shigaraki’s way of thinking, which we’ll see even more clearly during the War Arc. Also, again, it’s good to see the moments where the League weighs in on Shigaraki’s plans.

• The visual of Twice lashing out at Dabi with his razor-edged tape measure over Dabi’s dismissal of Giran, though all the relevant dialogue was there. Possibly this is because, having cut the CRC bit, the audience has no way of knowing that Twice’s tape measure is razor-edged, so why bother raising the question, “Why is Twice trying to attack Dabi with a tape measure..?” Possibly it’s because showing that attack would require animating movement, and MAN ALIVE, did Episode 109 ever want to do everything it could to avoid animating movement.

• Slidin’ Go’s line about how Deika isn’t usually his turf, but today is a big exception. This makes the hearty affirmative with which Trumpet announces himself a response to Shigaraki’s half-phrased observation about the reason behind the city’s emptiness, rather than a response to Slidin’ Go. It works, more or less, and probably even flows more clearly, all things considered. I’m always sad to lose lines from the vanishingly few named/characterized MLA members we have, though. I like, too, that it hints at the machinations that have to have been involved with setting things up for the Revival Party, and the way those plans were carried out with confidence that Re-Destro’s “bait the League into coming for their broker” plan would work despite the total absence of a response from the League in any of the time Giran was missing/his fingers were cropping up on the nightly news reports.

• A few shots of cameras in the city, which foreshadow Skeptic’s watchful eyes and ability to track the League through the city. In retrospect, this isn’t surprising, since the anime went on to cut basically any indication of Skeptic’s entire plan re: the footage of the League attacking, so why bother keeping the cameras? (Oh, right. Skeptic’s whole thing is cameras and information/disinformation. Skeptic for second-most screwed-by-the-anime MLA member.)

Additions

• Showed Toga having stood back up somewhere during Shigaraki’s explanation of their throw-Machia-against-the-MLA plan. A simply appalling choice. In the manga, she stays crouched down by Twice the entire time Shigaraki has his mask pulled off, because Toga cares about reassuring Jin-kun when he’s in a bad way.

• Rephrased Compress’s dialogue somewhat, also giving him a new line about the MLA’s forces in Deika when the League was still in the hills looking down at the city: “The so-called Meta Liberation Army has a force of 110,000 here.” I assume it was because the scene falls in a different episode than the tactical discussion did (in the manga, they’re the same chapter), so the anime was reminding the viewer of the stakes, but it’s potentially awkward because, er, no, the MLA categorically did not bring their entire army to Deika. We’ll find out as much for sure later, with the note that the regiment advisors weren’t in attendance because they were occupied at the bases they command, but even with only the knowledge we have here, Re-Destro’s statement about his numbers is that they’re scattered all over the country—hence the shot of Japan with a bunch of lights scattered across it to represent said numbers. That said, to be (briefly) charitable, there’s no particular reason for the League to assume that, and they did discuss the possibility that there were going to have to fight 110,000 people. So it makes sense that Mr. C might state as much when recapping for the audience.

Chapter 225 – Interview with a Vampire

• Re-Destro talking about Deika’s geography and why they chose it strategically. The anime dropped so much about the MLA’s planning and information-gathering beforehand; it really made the MLA look ludicrously overconfident. And while they don’t lack for that trait, certainly,[2] this is also an organization that has meticulously grown its membership for generations right under Hero Society’s collective nose; you don’t get to where they are by being unduly foolhardy. Erasing so many scenes demonstrating their caution and forward-planning undercuts the threat they represent to both the League and society at large. Also too, the descriptor of Deika as a nice, quiet, isolated little town in the mountains gives us some hints about how the MLA has avoided notice for so long, when you consider how the Hero business works: because so many people who get into heroism want to make it big, like celebrities, they don’t want to stick around small-town beats, and so the rural areas are understaffed.[3] That’s presumably why groups like the CRC and the MLA grow their numbers out in the boonies: much less attention from the Powers That Be. You can guess at some of that from how Spinner describes the place—“not too small, not too big”—and what Trumpet says about the percentage of the population that’s MLA, but RD adds that key “isolated” descriptor, and says that it’s a place where they “lay low.” That gives us some potential insight into how many—likely the majority—of the MLA came to their beliefs: by being raised to them, because their hometown was infiltrated by the MLA generations ago and they have literally never known anything else.

• RD’s phrasing, “Counter to point one,” when he makes his second point about the Noumu. He acknowledges that it’s counter-intuitive to his first argument, that he knows it would normally be an argument against that opening point, not in support. It’s just conversational padding, really, but “conversational padding” like that does a lot to distinguish character voice, so that not everyone talks the same way.

• A panel showing a trio of unnamed MLA warriors strategizing about how to divide their forces now that the League has split up. It’s the little cuts like this that gradually remove the agency of unnamed characters, such that they’re left looking like unthinking puppets instead of real people with the ability to register and respond to their circumstances. It also points towards the truth of what the MLA warriors are and one reason they’re so dangerous (for all that the manga itself will neglect this most egregiously later on): they’re trained in regiment tactics and accustomed to working in groups. This contrasts them both with villains, who might group together, but certainly don’t usually fight that way, and heroes, who are so unaccustomed to working in groups that it’s cited as part of the reason to have named super moves.

• Curious’s little pageboy-cut middle school kid line telling Toga to back off when Miss Curious is on the job. This is an early example of how defensive the MLA are of people above them in the hierarchy, an important thing Spinner will pick up on and attempt to use against Trumpet. Again, it’s little moments like this that both add some welcome notes of individuality to the MLA warriors (if only by virtue of Horikoshi and his assistants’ traditional talent for distinctive character design) while also fleshing out who the MLA are as a group, and contrasting them with the League.

• Deleted Toga’s line IDing her “on-the-go suck-suck mask,” but did insert a nice little bit of her expression shifting when she whipped it out. It lost a bit of the self-conscious silliness of her support item name in exchange for a cool little animation beat. I don’t dislike it, particularly, but I am, as previously stated, very leery of edits that make the League more polished in their villainy at the cost of their human foibles.

• Curious’s line about having come prepared to counter Toga’s moves, which was supposed to further reiterate that the MLA has done their research on the League; they didn’t just decide out of the blue to target the most notorious Villains in the country without studying up on them first and planning accordingly!

• Curious’s line about how she’s going to get started with some background info while her people use their meta-abilities to keep Toga and her buddies on the ropes. A marvelously characterful line! It speaks especially to that edge of formality the MLA brass observe that even as she’s ringleading this attack, Miss Curious is still set on going through her interview process step by established step.

Framing Shifts

• Made some of Curious’s lines spoken dialogue instead of internal monologue. That’s probably fine for when she’s waxing enthusiastic about Toga’s lack of hesitation in committing murder or how she’ll use Toga’s story to further the MLA’s agenda. It’s less fine when she’s rattling out the entire name, brand and patent status of her support item for no particular reason when Toga is already halfway through trying to knife her (that’ll be next chapter).

• The anime implied pretty firmly that Curious’s bombers died. And like, yeah, that’s always made more sense than the idea that anyone could survive something like that, but I hate it anyway. For one thing, it makes it even harder to credit the idea that Toga’s still on her feet afterward if Curious’s supposedly not-very-lethal explosions merk all her own people. People in this series survive ludicrous amounts of damage, and these random MLA devotees are no exception! For another, it leans into the narrative that the MLA higher-ups throw away the lives of their minions without the slightest care. It’s a lot harder to make that case when it’s explicit in the manga that Curious’s people survive the blood explosions—the blonde in the tracksuit is unharmed enough to snicker about it, and the noodle chef is even doing well enough to continue attacking! I’ve always been of the opinion that the MLA are, yes, willing to spend the lives of their underlings on attaining goals, if that’s what they think is necessary, but that is not at all the same as gleefully throwing them onto the pyre to watch them burn.

Additions

• Some individual shots of Mr. Compress, Dabi and Twice fending off or fleeing from various MLA types. A nice try on getting the group split up, but it feels kind of budget save-y, when we could have gotten actual animation of those fights instead.

• Inserted a quick shot of a headline about Toga’s first attack as Curious was rambling on about why she’s interested in Toga but not the League in general. Actually a fairly reasonable insertion, given how much text is crammed into her talk bubble in the manga while the dude standing next to her is already getting a knife in the neck.

Chapter 226 – Bloody Love

• A panel of interviewees talking about Toga’s first victim being sociable and popular. It gives a bit of context on what he was like, what people thought of him, but given that we know enough about Toga at this point to know that his popularity was entirely incidental to what she liked about him, it’s not a huge loss.

• The detail of the broadcasted interviews censoring Toga’s name. Considering how Japanese media normally treats minors accused of crimes, this is an eyebrow-raising change—the manga censors it because Japanese media outlets would have done the same. No idea why the anime didn’t, unless it’s another of those places where it would feel too “real,” to have something that so closely mirrors real life treatment of criminals?

• Everything about quirk counseling, and whoo boy, that is a loaded cut. There is exactly one other mention of quirk counseling anywhere in the manga, and, curiously enough, it also comes up in relation to a villain: in the U.A. faculty meeting after the USJ attack, Midnight muses that maybe Shigaraki never received quirk counseling in elementary school. It’s a weird little non sequitur there—exactly what sort of program did she expect could single-handedly make the difference between a well-adjusted adult and a gleefully murderous manchild with aims on killing Japan’s Number 1 Hero? Just over two hundred chapters later, we get a hint: a program designed to fit people “neatly into society’s little boxes.” Quirk counseling, then, is not about helping children find healthy ways to process their quirks, but rather, about teaching children what is and is not acceptable in terms of quirk use—and as Curious says, Toga’s admiration of blood was never going to be acceptable.[4] This explanation doesn’t just tell us a lot about Toga—that she wasn’t only failed by the hysterical condemnation of her parents, but also by a society that had no interest in helping her if it didn’t see a use for her—but also provides some insight on the viewpoint of the Meta Liberation Army vis-à-vis mandatory state-funded programs that dictate what “normalcy” looks like to impressionable children. Curious is, of course, not a particularly trustworthy narrator in this, as one might expect of someone who uses language like “society’s little boxes,” but it does track with Midnight’s earlier musing of, “Maybe the anti-social dude never took the program intended to make sure he was a functioning member of society.” That kind of statement—“State-sponsored educational programs are there to program children into becoming unthinking cogs of society, actually.”—is one that it’s all too easy to imagine the people with an eye on broadcast standards taking issue with, even coming as it does from the mouth of a villain.

• Curious’s line, “Let’s turn your death into a legendary tragedy, shall we?” and its accompanying visual of two different papers with imagined headlines. The dialogue doesn’t strike me as crucial—Curious’s fervent belief in Toga’s story is amply demonstrated elsewhere and her intent to turn that story into a legend reiterated in the line immediately following—but it is a shame to lose the headlines. They tell us, in Curious’s own words, exactly the tack she was planning to take in telling Toga’s story to the general public, without the constant namedropping of the Liberation Army that she does when talking about it in person. One headline in particular—The Price of Suppression: A String of Bloody Murders—is an especially useful reference for discussing whether the MLA actually wants, as is popularly claimed, completely unhindered quirk use, even for people like e.g. Muscular who want nothing more than to murder people with their quirks.[5]

• Curious’s initial wait what response to getting Floated, and her people’s focus shifting away from Toga and onto Curious instead. On a surface level, that focus shift helps explain why Toga’s able to zip around the ground and touch nearly twenty people before they even react: because they’re afraid for Curious. It also hurts the ongoing characterization of the MLA rank and file as being fanatically devoted to their higher-ups which, again, is something Spinner is supposed to notice later. It’s the worst kind of plot device if that devotion is completely told to us rather than consistently shown!

• Toga’s internal reflection that she’s seen Ochaco use her quirk, and knows how to use it. It’s obvious from the panel that she knows how to use it, but the manga implies that Toga transforming doesn’t automatically grant her an understanding of peoples’ quirks; it’s only in observation (and possibly love) that she can reach this particular unlock. Leaving out that information leaves open the possibility that she can just do this all the time now, with anybody she transforms into.

• The reaction from the surviving crowd to Curious’s death. See above re: STOP FUCKING ERASING HOW MUCH THE MLA CARES FOR EACH OTHER.

Framing Shifts

• When Toga bolts, Curious in the anime sounded serious, her expression alarmed, like she was actually worried that Toga might escape, even though her dialogue said just the opposite. Maybe you could say that she was afraid Toga would die before she got her statement, but given that she tried to kill the girl herself moments later, I’m skeptical of that claim. Regardless, in the manga, she never loses her smile, and she flashes a Liberation salute as she stands up to give chase. It’s a characterization note, that she’s so wildly confident about this that she never stops being completely enthralled with whatever Toga has to show her.

Chapter 227 – Sleepy

• The last of Toga’s conscious dialogue, about how she’s lost a lot of blood, is fading out, can’t move—but more notably, the way that this state of things makes her feel closer to “them,” that it’s “the same sensation.” And who is “they” here—her victims? The people she loves? More alarmingly, why does the line sound like she’s been this beat-up before, and remembers the sensation? Does that tie into e.g. her comment during the training camp that she doesn’t want to fight too many hero students at once because she doesn’t want to die? Has she actually been subject to this kind of violence before in the past? Does that tie into her still-unexplained ability to erase her presence? It’s an interestingly loaded little line, for being so vague, and illustrative of Toga’s mentality on becoming the people she loves. Which also lets the scene segue nicely into Re-Destro’s observation that, in Toga Himiko’s world, there’s no such thing as “other people.” On which note, guess what else the anime cut?

• The entire fucking scene where Re-Destro actually reacts to Curious’ death, the motherfuckers. This lost: 1. RD’s talk about the way Toga sees the world and how that led to society casting her out, which he points to as evidence of said society clinging to old ideals even though the nature of humanity itself has changed. It calls back to his methodology with Detnerat, marrying his lines from the commercial to his overarching ideals; it also shows that he understood very well what Curious saw in Toga, and demonstrates that he can express that understanding and empathy even in the face of losing one of his closest allies. 2. Skeptic’s reaction to Curious’s death, which is pretty sparse, but at least present. He says she never should have been on the front lines—an excellent reminder to the people who’re always going on about how the MLA brass thinks themselves so above their followers: Curious was on the front lines, against the wishes of some of her peers!—and calls her a valuable resource.[6] You can theorize about Skeptic not caring for her beyond her usefulness to the cause, or just that Skeptic is a huge autist who processes his emotions differently than most, and isn’t going to stop to do that when there’s still a battle going on, but either way, you need this scene to do it accurately. 3. Speaking of people who process their emotions in unusual ways, as I said above, this scene also shows Re-Destro openly crying over the deaths of Curious and each and every warrior diving into battle with their hopes for the future. They’re not crocodile tears, either. As was the case with Miyashita, there’s no one in this room that Re-Destro would need to perform grief for: Skeptic clearly doesn’t see a use for tears right now, so I don’t see him expecting them from Re-Destro, and the only other person in the room is Giran, a hostage who the MLA—very probably Re-Destro himself—maimed! It’s not like RD’s tears are going to change Giran’s mind about him (indeed, Giran gets a comedic reaction beat at the absurdity of the dude who started all this up here crying about it)! But RD says life is precious and he cries anyway, briefly, before he ruthlessly turns it off. RD’s valuing of human life—especially his own peoples’ lives—crops up in roundabout ways twice more, both leading the fight with Shigaraki (“It angers me.”) and ending it (“Any more would bring about meaningless death.”). This, though, is when he’s most open about it, to the degree that—as with Machia’s grief—it’s kind of off-putting and strange. Cutting it makes it that much easier for people to get entirely the wrong impression of RD as a character. 4. The delightful scene where Skeptic berates Giran about asking brainless questions and then answers his question anyway. Fuckin’ hell, why cut this?? So much of Skeptic’s character is in this scene! You get moments of his neuroticism later on, but never in so concentrated a burst as this (there’s one other sequence that could compete, but—spoilers—the anime cut that one, too). The exchange also explains the cameras placed throughout the city—which are visually referenced early on—and what the MLA is planning to do with their footage. Without that explanation, the audience has no idea how, exactly, the MLA was planning to use wiping out the League as a springboard for their grand return to the spotlight. That footage is the crucial part of how the rest of the country reacts to Deika in the Endeavor Agency Arc, and the anime never even mentioned it! The audience was just left to assume that all the media came in afterward, not that there was the slightest whiff of footage from the battle itself. 5. Once again brings up Re-Destro’s belief in the power of the heart to move other hearts. We get a bit of that in Curious’s flashback, but here he says it in his own words—as he will also bring it up to Shigaraki. Once again, Shigaraki is going to be challenged about his conviction, which ties back into what Spinner and Ujiko demanded from him earlier in the arc. With so

many people set to be grilling Shigaraki on this front, it tells us again what the arc is for: Shigaraki’s conviction, and him demonstrating it to the people who think he lacks it.

• The panel of Spinner asking how long they’ve been at it and Mr. Compress responding. This line helps manage the pacing, giving the audience an idea how much time is passing as we cut around to different places. It’s also, you know, more cut Spinner dialogue, and shows the beginnings of Shigaraki and Spinner getting split off from the rest by Shigaraki’s sleep-drunk staggering angling him off in a different direction. The rest of the scene is moved to after Toga’s fight with Curious, but not otherwise tampered with.

• The other big reaction to Curious’s death, which is Trumpet using it to rile up the crowd. The group that attacks Shigaraki isn’t just some free-roaming mob—they’re coming at him in a grief-stricken frenzy, which they’ve been goaded into by one of their leaders. This sequence also introduces the campaign van—a vehicle that will have several more appearances—to events, and hints at Trumpet’s meta-ability. Further, it’s one of the scenes that outright states that the MLA is less an army than a religion, in Mr. Compress’s line about how Trumpet is like a preacher rallying his flock. That understanding—that the MLA may style themselves as an army, but what they really are is a cult—is key to the way the MLA members act, from the very bottom to the very top.

• Trimmed Shigaraki’s flashback down, cutting—among other things—the very first lines Hana speaks, and her namedrop. This moment is the first one Tomura gets back, and the very first thing we find out is that he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing. The anime also failed to identify Shimura Nana’s relation to Tenko/Tomura and Hana—helpful to remind the audience of a plot thread they haven’t heard about since Kamino. It also cut out the silhouette of chubby baby Tenko and Tenko’s first line, asking why Hana’s showing him this, a line which clues us in that Hana was the impetus here, not Shigaraki as he was back then. Still not satisfied, it also cut the phrase, “Daddy said all that stuff,” which is a clear and ominous warning that there was some conflict going on between young Shigaraki and the Father whose dismembered hand he now wears on his face.

• Left the dialogue but cut the silhouette of an airborne Geten with his enormous ice fists coming in hot behind Dabi when he was smarming about it not being his style to take the pacifist route. It’s not crucial, since we see the fists again shortly (it’s the end of the chapter page, whereas the anime rolls right on into the continuation of the scene), but it’s a shame, since framing Dabi from below with this sudden presence behind him is a much more fun, dynamic angle than the dead-boring medium shot the anime used. Also too, it’s good foreshadowing for the fact that Geten can fly, since he certainly didn’t get that kind of air by jumping off the roof of the mini-mart across the street.

Framing Shifts

• The crowd attacking Tomura came at him from the back of the shot, whereas in the manga, they’re surging forth from the front; that is, the anime had Shigaraki between the crowd and the POV of the viewer, whereas the manga has the crowd interposing between the viewer and Shigaraki. It makes a huge difference in the impact! Running up from a nebulous background distance, the crowd looked small and futile. Crossing directly in front of the viewer as they attack Shigaraki makes them look like the crashing human wave that they are. But, you know, coming in from the front would mean they’d have to be animated with more detail, and again, Episode 109, more than any other episode in the arc, clearly didn’t have the budget to spare on such things.

• The moment Shigaraki first uses the spreading Decay is horrifically clear in the manga. It’s full of speed lines, Shigaraki moving so fast he decays a dude mid-word, but the impact itself is spread over two pages. We watch his hand literally cleaving through the leading attacker’s face, and then are encouraged to linger on the oversized panel below, the intricately drawn crowd, full of individual faces, still intact on the left, scattering to dust on the right, all fully lit, with Shigaraki—still drawn with speedlines to emphasize his movement—the focal figure in black at the center. The anime rendered this moment in two stills—Shigaraki’s hand about to hit the lead attacker’s face, and then the crowd already decaying. There was virtually no movement to it, the crowd was so heavily silhouetted against a glare of daylight that it was difficult to tell what was going on, and the moment stayed on screen for only two seconds before Shigaraki landed and threw up, both actions favored with more animation than one of the signature moments of the entire arc. Hell, it even left the walls on either side of the alley intact, when the manga shows them dissolving into ash as well, decay traveling through the ground in a deadly, destructive radius around Shigaraki’s attack. The anime ever-so-graciously allowed Spinner his line to explain to the audience what just happened, but I think that’s mostly because it would be genuinely difficult to parse if he didn’t. It also gave him a flashback to what we had literally just seen, except this time it wasn’t silhouetted for some reason, so at least the audience got another chance to look at it, I guess? “Am I seeing things? Just now, his decay effect spread to people he wasn’t even touching!” Well, I guess we’ll have to take your word for it, Spinner.

Additions

• A quick shot of a camera, there and gone almost too fast to register. I want to compliment the anime for adding a camera back in, since it removed the shot of the cameras earlier, but honestly, given that it cut all the scenes about how and why the MLA was gathering footage, I really don’t know why it even bothered. Also too, the camera was gone so fast it felt more like a marker for a scene change—which it also was, segueing the scene from Toga collapsing (only to cut back to her later staggering down an alley) to Spinner and the rest still trying to hold their own—than it did something the audience was supposed to really notice.

Chapter 228 – Wounded Soul

• Twice in the opening pages left out scattered members of the MLA that were around for the start of the Dabi/Geten fight. Leaving them out raises the question of where all the people attacking went, but it’s also the first demonstration that Geten is a danger to his own allies. We don’t see any of them dying on-panel or anything, but we do see them having to dive frantically out of the way because Geten demonstrates no care to the collateral damage of his attacks.

• Cut a small flashback, presumably from Twice’s perspective, of finding the site where Toga and Curious’s fight concluded. You can see the ground covered in blood, and a body that looks a bit like Curious if you squint (distinguishable by the sleeves of her jacket), as well as a small group of people kneeling on the ground in various poses suggesting mourning and a paying of respects. Yet another shot demonstrating the depths of care these people have for their leaders, that they’ve completely let the battle fall by the wayside in favor of their grief.

• Drops the “those zealots” phrase from Twice’s, “I’ll rip those zealots limb from limb for this!” line. Damn, the anime really was determined to erase everything that even hints at the Liberation Army being something much creepier and more damaging than just an underground militia, huh?

Framing Shifts

• For all my complaints about the material, I generally like the voice acting quite a bit. I don’t love the first exchange between Dabi and Geten, though. It’s not a fault of the voice actors themselves, but rather the delivery. Geten was very cool and level-headed throughout, which is all right to a point, but he’s a gremlin under that troll parka, and this fight is where we hear him as close as we ever will to how he is before the multi-layered humbling he’s subject to over the course of this fight. It’s a bit of a shame to play him totally straight, without any of the snark he’s so clearly capable of—and without the tick upwards in vehemence his talk bubbles indicate in his last lines. Meanwhile, it’s fine for Dabi to get more heated as the scene goes along, and indeed he does, but he also plays it pretty cool at first. You can tell in the shape of his talk bubbles that he’s completely unruffled during his delivery of that, “Consider this a freebie, just for you: ice melts,” line. The anime had him raising his voice for it, and it just loses a lot of the humor of Dabi’s own snark to have him yelling it instead of just laughingly stating it, voice barely raising enough to give his talk bubbles some straighter lines instead of being all undisturbed curves. (For comparison’s sake, it’s about the same level of angular as Geten’s, “You’d best not think your little campfire can melt my ice!” line, but the anime had Dabi shout his line, while Geten continued at the same unperturbed volume he’d maintained since the beginning.)

• As with Shigaraki’s first mass decay, the shot of Geten’s ice dragon did not make the impact on me in the anime that the manga did. I think it’s mostly the way the ice was colored? The claw’s pretty good, but the head looks blobby and indistinct, more like blue soft-serve than the shifting, sharp-edged, brilliantly bright sculpture-in-motion of the manga.

• Twice’s voice actor did his best to sell the scene of him finding Toga, but I wish they’d kept that tight close-up on his mouth when he says, “Give it up. The girl’s dead.” They animated him leaning closer to the camera, but that doesn’t have the sharpness of that sudden cut to being right there on his lips, like some malevolent thing is using them to speak words so terrible that they can’t even be associated with the rest of his face.

---

Come back next time (and hopefully in less time) for Part Three, Episode 110: Sad Man's Parade.

FOOTNOTES

[1] We would, of course, have an even clearer idea of that had the anime not cut the scene of Spinner shouting in Shigaraki’s face.

[2] It seems particularly strange to me that Curious and RD both mention quirk evolution as a thing they know can happen in extreme circumstances, but didn’t predict that backing the League into a life-or-death corner might provoke one or two members to undergo exactly that evolution.

[3] Mount Lady is the obvious example, but you can look to places like the island in Heroes Rising, too: one hero, and when they retired, a group of high school kids had to go sub in for a while until a replacement could be arranged. It’s not like retirements just happen overnight; the Commission had to have known it was coming. Still, they had to scramble to find someone. It doesn’t suggest they had anybody just champing at the bit to take the post, you know?

[4] In Chapter 140, we see a young Tamaki Amajiki in a class called “quirk training.” It’s uncertain how connected this P.E.-like class is to quirk counseling, but Toga wouldn’t have been getting much help there, either, seeing as it’s all about figuring out how to use one’s quirk in a way that’s “useful to society.” I can think of some ways, but nothing that I expect would be very popular or liable to be explained to a grade schooler in a country with as long a history with ritual cleanliness as Japan. To a Shinto mindset, Transformation isn’t just off-putting or unhygienic; it’s spiritually unclean.

[5] The answer there being, no, obviously not, or Curious wouldn’t, in all apparent sincerity, be trying to characterize Toga using her quirk to murder people as an undesirable outcome, a cost society is paying for its current stance on quirk use. Yes, you can gather that much from her calling Toga a tragic girl, and Re-Destro concurring later, but listen, I will take every line I can get that I can use to push back against the wretchedly widespread idea that the kid whose name means Apocrypha is the be-all-end-all source on MLA ideology, somehow more reliable and trustworthy than every other MLA character combined, including Destro himself. I would very much like it if the anime had not deleted a bunch of my talking points while making good and sure to leave all Geten’s most damning lines intact.

[6] Not that an anime-only person would fully understand why some random reporter was all that valuable a resource, since the anime cut the explanation of what Curious actually does for a living.

#my villain academia #bnha #bnha meta #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #my writing #stillness has salt

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smile-hotch · 4 years

Text

Red Dress - Aaron Hotchner

Hello and welcome to another Aaron work! This is the first one I’ve done in a while, so enjoy!

Warnings: mentions of domestic abuse (ties to the victims)

word count: 1,844

Penelope Garcia, in a rush as always, walked into the conference room with an armful of files. Her eyes danced along the table and a frown formed on her lips. “Hello, my fine friends,” she greeted as she began to pass out files to each person. As she came around to Aaron Hotchner, she paused. “Sir, I can’t get (Y/N) on the phone.”

For a split second, Aaron’s eyes darted around the table. “Debrief us and then Morgan and I will go to her house for a welfare check.” His voice was cool but urgent as he looked back down at the file.

Nodding quickly, Penelope put her back to the large screen in the room and held the remote up on her hand. “Unfortunately, our little friend who kidnaps political figures is back,” she began and flashed the image of a dead woman in a police uniform. “This is officer Sheryl Garrett. She was reported missing a week ago today after not showing up for work and was found dead two hours ago in an alley two blocks from her house. As you can see,” Penelope changed the picture, “there are lacerations on her neck and wrists, like the last two victims.”

“All of who were political figures?” Derek Morgan asked as he set the pictures down.

Penelope nodded vigorously. “The first victim was Megan Shelly, as you may remember.” She showed her pictures on the screen. She was the founder of a non-profit organization serving victims of domestic abuse in the city.”

Jennifer Jareau pressed her lips together briefly. “And she was taken two months ago?”

“Exactly two months ago from the time Sheryl Garrett was abducted.” Aaron’s dark eyes didn’t bother looking up from the file.

Spencer looked up. “Perhaps our unsub has a particular disdain for those assisting victims of domestic abuse.”

Penelope pointed to Spencer. “Let me finish my speech before you get to the point. The second victim was city councilwoman Sharon Rubel, who’s campaign focused greatly on punishing those convicted of domestic abuse and protecting the victims. She was taken from her home exactly a month ago from the date of Officer Garrett’s abduction. And Officer Garrett worked in the domestic abuse division of her precinct.”

David Ross hummed. “And he is obviously spiraling. His timeline is shortening, his cuts are becoming sloppier. If we don’t catch him soon, there could be at a lot less domestic abuse activists in this city.” His fingers flipped through the pages.

Penelope held up her hand, silencing her friends once more. “The unsub also left a note for the first time in Officer Garrett’s house, as you can see here.” She put the picture on the television.

It is only going to get bigger.

“Bigger?” Derek scoffed. “Does that mean he is going to go after a congresswoman, maybe?”

JJ, her face paling slightly, looked up at the rest of his team. “I hate to even speculate this, but wasn’t (Y/N) an attorney that only worked with domestic abuse victims?”

Abruptly, Aaron stood and closed his file. “JJ and Rossi, go to the precinct and see if there have been any disgruntled offenders. Reid, you and Prentiss need to go to the dumpsite. Penelope, keep calling (Y/N) and pull the cases she worked on in . Look to see if any of the offenders were released from jail shortly before the first murder, and cross reference the last victim’s cases with (Y/N)’s. Morgan, you’re with me.” With that, the team dispersed. Aaron marched off towards his office with Derek on his heels.

“Should I get (Y/N)’s address from Garcia?” Derek questioned as he followed Aaron into his office, where he took the gun from his desk and holstered it on his ankle.

He grabbed the car keys for one of the bureau's cars off his desk and walked by Derek. “You don’t need to.”

The ride to your house was achingly stiff. Derek tried to talk possible motives with Aaron regarding the case at hand, but all conversation was quick and stern. “With all due respect, sir, what’s going on with you?” Derek asked as they pulled up outside your house.

Aaron leaped from the car without answering Derek and began towards the door without waiting. Shaking his head, Derek rushed to catch up with Aaron. Without hesitating, Aaron reached for the front door handle, and it opened with ease. “Not locked?” Derek asked as Aaron glanced in the house.

He shook his head. “That’s not like her,” he muttered and pulled his gun from holster before pushing the door open more with his foot. Immediately, as they entered your living room, Aaron cursed loudly. In black paint, across the painting you did of the farm you grew up on as a child, was “IT IS ONLY GETTING BIGGER” in messy, scrawled handwriting.

“I’m calling backup,” Derek said as he pulled his phone from his pocket. Aaron frantically searched the house for any sign of you, but there was none. He came back down the stairs of your home, spotting Derek in the kitchen, looking closely at your back door, leading to your backyard. “I think he was waiting for her last night, after work.”

Aaron’s face paled as he looked at the back door as well, where the scratch marks on the trim indicated someone breaking in. “It had to be later that night,” Aaron finally said to Derek as he looked away.

Crossing his arms, Derek narrowed his eyes. “If there is something you know, you need to tell me.”

Aaron felt a burst of anger in his head. He wanted to throw, destroy something, anything. “(Y/N) was with me last night. He had to be waiting for her after I dropped her off shortly after ten o’clock last night.”

Derek raised his eyebrows. Normally, he would hound Aaron about this information, but he couldn’t. Not when you weren’t there to face it as well. “What was she wearing last night so I can have law enforcement put an APB out?”

A slight blush formed on Aaron’s face at the thought of it. “A sleeveless red silk dress and black heels.”

Again, Derek raised his eyebrows. “Damn.” He walked away, putting the phone to his ear. Aaron turned away, walking through the house as he, too, started calling people.

As he wandered into the living room once more, he avoided looking at the ruined painting above the fireplace. “Hotch? Did you find (Y/N)?” Rossi’s voice flooded through the phone immediately.

“He has her,” he answered stiffly as his eyes landed on one of his own ties laying across the back of one of your antique chairs. He picked it up, running his thumb along it, and pressed his lips together. “Have you found anything at the precinct?”

Rossi fell silent for a moment. “We’ll find her, Aaron. You know we will.” The silence that met his words made Rossi sigh. “Truthfully, it seems almost all offenders are disgruntled on out latest victim’s end. I’ve sent the particularly violent ones to Garcia to cross examine.”

“Let me know if you find anything,” Aaron told him and hung up the phone without another word.

Aaron felt guilty, for leaving her on her own the night before. He knew that there was no way for him to predict that this would happen, but still felt at fault for it. However, the guilt was nothing compared to the anger he felt for anyone daring to hurt you.

~.~

It took two more days before JJ discovered a break in the case that led the team to the unsub. You were gone for three whole days, and there was always the biting thought in the back of everyone’s mind that you were long passed alive and not even with them anymore, but they still had to find you, in whatever capacity that may be.

The unsub failed to hear the team enter his home, as he was sleeping soundly on the couch, and Derek Morgan flipped him off to the ground incredibly hard and cuffed him as the others searched for you. JJ and Spencer searched the large yard and shed behind the large, Victorian style home, while Emily, Aaron, and Rossi began to tear the house apart. Local law enforcement took the man into custody and dragged from the home as he shouted and screamed about the unfairness in the judicial system and the rats that cared about the victims of domestic abuse.

Aaron anger built up as he tore down the steps of the house, into the basement. A door at the end of the room had a single lock on the outside of it, and without hesitating, Aaron kicked the flimsy door in.

The lights in the room were an odd shade of red, and there you were, tied to a chair in the middle of the room. “I’ve got her,” Aaron shouted up the house.

With your arms tied behind your back and legs tied together at the knees and ankles both, you were completely unable to move. There was a gag in your mouth, tied around your head and stained with a mixture of blood and tears. You still wore your red dress, which now had a tear up the side and blood along the top, but still looked beautiful to Aaron.

With wide, pleading eyes, you whined into the cloth as Aaron quickly fell to his knees in front of you and began carefully cutting the rope around your knees and ankles. “(Y/N), are you hurt?” He asked as your legs were free, and he untied the cloth from around your head.

With a busted bottom lip and a thin cut across your cheek, you shook your head. “Just a few bumps and cuts, is all.” Your voice was gravelly and sounded dry. “I could really use a drink.”

Aaron chuckled as he cut your hands free, and you rubbed your wrists immediately. “You had me so worried,” he mumbled as he stood, holding a hand out to you.

Your black heels felt taller than ever as you tried to stand. Stumbling, Aaron caught you and quickly frowned. “Ah, haven’t walked in a minute,” you explained and held onto his arm tightly. As you straightened and stretched your legs, Aaron watched you closely. “I wasn’t worried.” Aaron furrowed his eyebrows. “I knew you’d find me, Aaron.”

Slowly, you stood on your toes, even in your heels, and kissed him so gently. You ignored the pain of your busted lip as you grabbed his shoulders, steadying you further.

Carefully, Aaron pulled you against him, deepening the kiss and wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. After a moment, you both pulled away with red faces. Law enforcement rushed down the stairs at that point, and you moved your hands to his arm once more. “Take me home, please. I can’t wait to get out of this dress.”

Aaron, fighting the smirk on his lips, spoke quietly to her. “I quite like you in it, actually.”

#aaron hotchner #Aaron Hotch Hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron #aaron hotchner oneshot #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner fluff #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds preference #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds x reader

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aknipper · 2 years

Text

Blog 9: Reflections and Frustrations

Soo.. I just began writing and let things develop as my fingers struck the keys on my keyboard. I just let it flow from my fingertips. Once I stopped and I looked at my story, it had taken on a life of its own and became somewhat of a monster. That’s when the frustrations kicked in. I had the daunting task of cutting down my story that was WAY too long without jeopardizing the integrity of the piece. I wanted to pull my hair out! I encountered that conundrum that no writer wants to confront: every detail and scene seemed vital to the story…

After receiving feedback from the peer review and a few other people from outside the course, I revised my short story. I took the critiques into consideration and implemented what I felt was applicable while still trying to reach the story’s length requirements. After all the revisions, I am unsure that I fully kept the integrity of the story. I know for the most part I have accomplished that, but I feel as if the meticulous wording needed for a short story’s parameters wasn’t met because I was focused on shortening it into the assigned requirements. I’m hoping I’m my own worst critic at this point, yet I have a “gut” feeling that some sections/texts could’ve been formulated a little better had I not been so focused on the length. I just want to do Scarlett Jones justice…

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halcyonstorm · 3 years

Text

The Girl at the Library Chapter 2

Pairing: Levi Ackerman/Hange Zoe

Themes: College AU, Library, Fluff, Slow Burn, Falling in Love, Female Hange Zoe, Student!Levi

Word Count: 5870

Summary: Levi visits Hange in her dorm. He misses his family but is too busy to drive. Hange has a car.

Chapter: 2/3

Warning: Mild Language

Read on AO3 here

Levi went back to his dorm room after the encounter with Hange. He seemed to be walking a bit faster.

The skip in his step, unfortunately, quickly dissipated once he walked in his room. His roommate was hanging out with a few friends, two he recognized were the guys who fucked up his laptop. As soon as they saw Levi, their conversation came to a halt. The two brats nervously gathered their things and rushed out of the room. Levi shook his head in annoyance, shutting the door behind them. He placed his wet bag on the floor. Right. He was soaked from the rain.

“Levi, good to see you,” Erwin --his roommate-- said, slightly annoyed. There was a card game set up on the small table in their dorm. Levi didn’t respond and walked past them. He always had friends over. Levi was always pissed about it. The least he could’ve done was ask. The room was small enough as it is. Also, Erwin and his friends always left a mess.

Levi’s and Erwin’s dorm room was small. Would Hange’s room be this small? he asked himself. He felt himself get hot. He grabbed a fresh change of clothes, went to their bathroom and changed. He wore a pair of grey sweats and a white t-shirt. He hung up all his wet clothes in their shower. Levi took a deep breath, leaving the bathroom. He spent the rest of the night thinking of his new friend, and his mood was restored.

The next day couldn’t come fast enough. He woke up at 8am that morning to go on a run and to get some of his physical homework done. He also showered, spending an extra minute than usual. He wondered if he should bring something for Hange.

“Erwin, what snacks do you have?” He asked, starting to dress in the bathroom. He put on a pair of black jeans and an olive green t-shirt.

“Uh,” he shuffled through his ‘secret’ stash. Levi knew where it was. “I’ve got chips, granola bars, ramen, peanut butter…”

What the fuck am I gonna do with peanut butter? He asked himself.

Levi shook his head and rolled his eyes. He finished getting dressed and grabbed a few bags of chips and stuffed them in his bag. He made sure to pack his notes too.

It was finally 10:45 and he decided to leave to go to her dorm. He brought his phone, keys, wallet, and backpack with him.

“Be back later,” Levi called out before closing the door behind him. Levi began walking to her room. He had to take the elevator up four floors, making stops along the way, but he made it. 506… On his left side, there it was. On the door were two drawn cut-outs of the two residents. He recognized Hange’s drawing right away. It was colored in with colored pencils. The character had her same brown hairstyle; closed, happy eyes; oval glasses; and a big toothy smile. She wore a green long sleeve and brown pants. Her character was waving. Under her character, it has the name “Hange” in big green block letters. The other character was of a girl with short blonde hairstyle and blue eyes. Her character was smiling but had her eyes open. That must be her roommate. The name written underneath the drawing was “Nanaba” in blue bubble letters. Levi hesitantly knocked at the door after admiring the drawings.

Hange opened the door. “Hey!” “Hi.”

She invited him in. One half of the dorm room was messy and the other was averagely neat, at least in Levi’s eyes. She shut the door behind him.

“Ehh, I’m sorry my side of the room is kinda messy,” She confessed. She had the messy side of the room. Her bed was made, but her desk was a mess. Papers, books, and food wrappers were spread out on the desk and migrated to her bed. There were at least four empty ramen containers on her desk, which she clumsily grabbed and tossed away. Hange grabbed the papers off her desk and moved them to the side, clearing the spot for him. She lazily crumpled some food wrappers and threw them in the trash, one wrapper missing and falling on the floor. Levi shuddered. How did she live like this? The foot of her bed met the left edge of the desk. Her desk was big; It had many drawers and an overhang where she had small knick knacks including small comic book figurines, plants, and books. She had a figurine of a character with a green hooded cape on who looked like a soldier. He really liked that one.

“Let me just log you on.” She bent over the chair to use the computer. Levi put his bag down next to the desk. “Thank you.” Levi said.

“Oh, It’s nothing,” she said. After a few moments, she stood upright, backing away from the computer. “Alright! You’re good to go. If you need my help, I’m here. I have some work to do too.” He nodded, sitting down in the very comfortable desk chair. He let out a relieved sigh. Hange chuckled.

“Comfortable, right?” She asked, jumping on her bed and crossing her legs. Levi agreed. It was comfortable. It was one of those gaming-like chairs with cushions and lower back support. He noticed she had a bunch of bookmarks tabbed which were disorganized. He began to type in “Addison’s Disease” and as he did, he noticed it was recently searched. Before he could ask about it, Hange began to speak.

“I found some articles for your paper,” she explained, not looking away from her books. “I printed them out for you.”

Levi was pleasantly surprised. He hid a smile. “You didn’t have to do that.”

She shrugged. “Pfft. Shush. I wanted to.” There was a pause. “Oh! I made sandwiches for us. I know it’s kinda early for lunch, but I’ve been up since 6 this morning so I’m starving. I hope you like PB&J.”

Fuck! Levi thought. Erwin’s peanut butter. I could’ve made sandwiches. He mentally smacked his forehead.

“I brought some chips,” Levi added. “Take whatever you want.” He grabbed some bags from his backpack and placed them on her bed. He grabbed a blue bag of Doritos, she grabbed a bag of Fritos.

“Thanks,” she said, popping the bag open by squeezing it. Some chips flew out of the bag, falling on the bed.

“What?” Levi asked, bewildered. Why did she open it like that?

“I’m not good with pulling the seal open…” she admitted, chuckling. Levi found it weird. Levi locked eyes with her and opened the bag by pulling the seal open with ease. Hange pouted.

“No fair.” She laughed. He was never going to get any work done if she kept distracting him. He grabbed a sandwich and ate it. He really enjoyed it, especially since she made it.

“Thanks for lunch,” he said. He was kind of hungry anyways.

“No problem!”

The two began to work.

About three hours passed before Levi finished his paper. He ended his final sentence with a loud tap of the period on the keyboard. He took a deep breath and looked Hange's way. She was prone, resting her chin in her left palm. Her feet were in the air, crossed at the ankles. She was reading a textbook and had a pen and paper on her right side, probably answering homework. She looked very studious and attractive.

“I’m finished with my paper…” Levi said aloud. “Can I read it to you?”

Hange quickly wrote something down on her paper, dropped the pen, and pushed herself up to sit criss-crossed.

“Yep! I’m all ears.”

He began to read through his paper. He realized during his speech that this was probably the most he’s said to Hange. He felt guilty in a way. He was bad with words, so he felt it was better if he kept his mouth shut. Hange didn’t mind, though. She enjoyed hearing him talk, as she found it very soothing. As he read, he felt her eyes on him. He finally finished reading his paper.

“I have a few suggestions on some wording, but besides that, I think it’s great,” Hange said, getting out of bed. She walked to Levi’s right, then squatted. Levi felt himself get nervous. She was really close. He thought she smelled good.

“Scroll up a little…” she said, gesturing to him to scroll up. He did as she asked. “There. That sentence: ‘Medications used to treat Addison’s Disease include mineralocorticoids and glucocorticoids, such as fludrocortisone and hydrocortisone.’ It is kinda wordy. They’re both corticosteroids, so I think you should shorten it. You can mention the classes of the drugs in the next sentence, if you wanted to. Also, ‘A big teaching point includes following the steroid regimen exactly as prescribed. Abruptly discontinuing this medication will result in adrenal suppression.’ I think there is a better word to use than ‘big’. What about ‘important’, or ‘essential’ or ‘paramount’...”

He turned his head to look at her. Hange’s sentence had trailed off the moment he looked at her. She was stunned by his eyes. She hadn’t been this close to him, so that moment was the first time she could admire his eyes up close. They were a beautiful, piercing steel blue. When she realized he was staring back at her, she stood up, shaking out her legs nervously.

“‘Paramount’ will do,” Levi said after a moment passed. He typed it in.

“Good job, Levi. You’ll score well with your paper,” Hange said, trying not to stutter. She meant it. She was proud of what he wrote.

“Thanks. I couldn’t have done it without your help, though, four-eyes.” Hange liked the nickname. She smiled and patted his shoulder before going back to sit on her bed. She grabbed her phone and realized she didn’t have his phone number. Did he have a phone? He must have. She thinks she saw him use it once.

“If you need my computer again, or just wanna text, I can give you my number,” Hange blurted out. When Levi looked at her, he realized she wasn’t looking at him when she asked. He agreed, handing his phone to her.

“Go for it,” he said. He was attempting to sound ‘cool’ (and it worked). Hange reached to grab his unlocked phone. She found his contacts and put her name and number in. She sent herself a text message from his phone. She was hoping he would text her more. When she closed out to the home screen, she noticed his background was a photo of him and a small, dark haired lady.

“Is this your mother?” Hange asked, handing his phone back to him.

He looked down at his phone and nodded. “Yeah. This photo is from my first day at the university.” He had swiveled the chair to face the bed and her. “I remember she was sad to see me go, but happy too. She was proud of me.” Hange’s heart swelled. Levi seemed to remember her with a bittersweet smile. Hange frowned a bit.

“Is something wrong?” Hange asked.

“I just… haven’t seen her in a while. I’ve been so busy with assignments and exams that I haven’t had time to go visit her. Every time I have free time, I’m studying or catching up on sleep...”

“I can take you,” Hange offered instantaneously. She didn’t even have to think about it. She wanted to help her friend.

Levi’s eyes widened. “What?”

“You have to get stuff done and I have a car on campus and a license Let me take you.” She explained. Before he could bud in, she continued. “What day would you like to go? This weekend? I’m free this weekend.”

“I’d never get any studying done if we did that,” Levi said. We.

“You didn’t say no,” Hange retorted with a smirk. “I’ll be good. I won’t distract you. Promise.”

Levi took a deep sigh. He really wanted to, more than he let on. “Saturday morning works for me.”

A few days passed by and now Friday came along. Levi’s paper was due in three days, so he wanted to go to the library to revise it before printing and submitting it. He knew Hange worked on Friday’s too, so he had another motive.

His class had ended, then he was on his way to the library. When he entered, he heard laughter. Don’t people know they’re supposed to be quiet in the library? He wondered, but he didn’t pay much mind to it. There was a blonde woman standing at the front of the counter, leaning over it. He heard Hange’s voice and laugh and felt his heart skip a beat.

“I gotta see if the patron needs help,” Hange said to the girl without noticing who walked in.

“Zoe, since when do you actually care about your job?” The blonde said playfully. Hange smiled and rolled her eyes. Zoe? Hange made her way around the desk and saw Levi standing, looking at some books in the entryway.

“Levi! Good to see you,” Hange said, pleasantly surprised. She held her hands behind her back. “Computer?”

“Yeah.”

“Very good, come here.” Hange walked towards the desk, then around it. Levi stayed on the opposing side. “Levi, this is Nanaba. Nanaba, this is Levi. Nanaba is my roommate.”

“Nice to meet you, Levi,” Nanaba said, smiling at him. He nodded, exchanging pleasantries. Hange wrote his name down on the paper. “Okay, Levi. You’re all set.” He muttered a “thanks'' and then set his stuff down by the computer. He heard Nanaba whispering something to Hange. She shook her head, waving at her to follow her towards the back. Hange didn’t want to disturb Levi, and she also didn’t want Levi to hear what they were talking about.

Hange and Nanaba sat down at the table in the break room. Hange sipped on a can of soda.

“That’s Levi?” Nanaba asked, punching Hange’s shoulder playfully.

“Yeah. He’s just my friend. I don’t know why you care so much.”

“You two were in our dorm… alone?! Do I need to clean the room again?”

“No! He just had to work on his project. My side of the room is messy, though.”

“Uh huh… I can tell by the way he looks at you that you two aren’t ‘just friends’ like you claim,” Nanaba concluded, leaning back and crossing her legs.

“I told you it’s nothing,” Hange reinforced, getting flustered and annoyed. “Besides, he wouldn’t even be attracted to someone like me anyways. I am extremely messy and clumsy. His shirts are never wrinkled, and he is always extremely clean and neat.”

Nanaba rolled her eyes. “Haven’t you heard of ‘opposites attract’?” Hange made a “pfft” sound.

“That’s such bullshit.” Hange felt like Nanaba was giving her false hope.

“Well you wouldn’t be asking me for advice on your crush then if you thought the whole ‘opposites attract’ thing was bullshit, would you? No.”

The small bell above the entrance dinged, so Hange stood up. “Nanaba, I’ve got work to do, you know. That’s what you do at a job. Also, he is not my crush. ” Nanaba sighed and stood too. “I’ll see you at home.” She waved before walking ahead. “Bye, Levi. Nice to meet you.” She said in passing. Levi said “see you” to her. The patron who walked in was the same blonde guy with a big nose from last week. Levi recognized him.

“Mike!” Nanaba exclaimed, kissing his cheek. “Good to see you. Ready to go?” Mike nodded, taking her hand. “See you later, Zoe!” She called out before the couple left together. Hange and Levi were alone again. Hange came to the front of the library where Levi was. She sat down in the chair next to him. He turned to face her. Her cheeks were red.

“What time do you want to leave tomorrow?” Hange asked, crossing her legs.

“Is 9 good? I wanna make sure I spend enough time with her.” Levi suggested. Hange smiled.

“That’s fine. Just let me know when you want me to pick you up then. I can stay in the area, just send me the address.”

“You can stay, you know,” Levi offered. “You… don’t have to leave.” Hange looked shocked. She was very grateful for his offer.

“Are you sure? I mean, that’s very generous-”

“Don’t question me,” Levi said, looking back at the computer. That means ‘yes, I’m sure’.

“Thanks, Levi,” Hange said, standing up. “I’ll meet you at your dorm at 9 then we can get on the road.”

“Sounds good, Zoe.”

Hange woke up early the next day. She wanted to make sure everything went perfectly. She even got up early to clean out her car, which was a mess. It was full of junk. She had a pre-owned black four-seater that was well loved. She made it as clean as possible, making sure to wipe off the seats of any crumbs. It looked acceptable, and Hange went back inside. She realized at this point how long of a walk it was from her dorm to the parking lot. Nonetheless, she took the extra trip. She wanted to make a good impression. When she got back to her dorm, she packed a small backpack. Levi had texted her the address, and it was about an hour away. It was in the city, however, so it would probably take more time. She kept reminding herself to keep her mouth shut during the car ride to help him study.

She arrived at his dorm room a bit late, around 9:10. She felt really bad about this, but Levi didn’t seem to mind. Levi wore a grey university hoodie with black jeans. It was supposed to be cold today. Hange wore a black zip-up jacket with a pair of blue jeans and white sneakers. Her hair was half-up and half-down. Levi liked those colors on her. They headed for the elevator and walked to the parking lot. Hange omitted the part of her morning where she cleaned out her car as they talked about their mornings. They reached her car. She opened the trunk. He put his bag in the trunk and shut it.

“Don’t forget to keep your books in the front so you can study. I packed snacks. If you want any just let me know,” Hange said, unlocking the front door and getting in the car.

“Thanks,” Levi said, getting in the car. He closed the door. Hange locked the car and opened her phone. She began searching his mom’s address on the GPS. It ‘dinged’ when it found her house, and she propped her phone up in the holder.

As Hange began to drive, she noticed how Levi murmurs to himself when he studies. She can hear him repeating medications to himself and reciting the cards. Hange smiled. She found it endearing. The roads were pretty busy. They had left by 9:30am. Hange enjoyed driving, however, she wasn’t the most safe driver. She would make sudden stops, jerking Levi and Hange forward in their seats. Levi was grateful his seatbelt worked. She would make sharp turns and didn’t allow the wheel to return when the turn was finished. With one of the stops, it threw the cards that were in his lap on the floor. Levi took a deep sigh, packing up his cards.

“Sorry, Levi.”

“I’m taking a break,” Levi said, closing his eyes. “I have this exam coming up and it’s all about antihypertensive medications. There are too many, I think I’m going to develop hypertension.”

Hange laughed out loud. “They aren’t that bad. You’ve gotta come up with songs and mnemonics to remember them, then it's easy!” Levi scoffed.

“Do I look like someone who comes up with songs to remember things?” Levi asked, crossing his arms.

“No,” Hange quickly replied. “But you happen to be sitting next to someone who does. Read some of the meds to me.”

“Oh, god. No,” Levi moaned, opening the window. The breeze made his hair blow in the wind. Hange was lucky enough to catch a glance. She caught a whiff of his shampoo.

“I will stop this car right now,” Hange threatened playfully, raising her voice. She made a jolting stop at a light. Levi jerked forward again and groaned.

“Fine.”

He pulled his cards out of his backpack again, finding the medication cards. “First are the ACE inhibitors. These medications include the -prils… Lisinopril, enalapril. These help lower the blood pressure by inhibiting the action of angiotension converting enzyme, which causes vasoconstriction. Adverse effects include high potassium, orthostatic hypotension, angioedema, persistent coughing…”

“Hmmm… ACE,” Hange said proudly. Levi shook his head in confusion. “What?”

“ACE: Angioedema, Cough, hypErkalemia.” Levi was shocked. “Thanks…” He murmured.

“Give me another one,” Hange challenged. Levi shuffled through his stack. “What about Beta blockers?”

“Ah…” Hange sighed. “Tell me about them. I only know so much, you know.” You can’t say you know then say I know that you only know so much. You are confusing, Levi thought.

“Beta blockers act on beta1 and beta2-adrenergic receptors, which can affect the heart, lungs, and bladder. These will lower blood pressure, as well as cause bradycardia, hypoglycemia, fatigue, and bronchospasms in patients with respiratory issues such as asthma and COPD,” Levi explained. Hange was so happy. She was helping him, and got to hear him talk. She decided at that moment that she loved his voice.

“Beta blockers seem to slow everything down,” Hange began. “Beta blockers make everything low and slow, right? They lower heart rate and blood pressure, they lower blood sugar, quote en quote ‘lower energy’ by causing fatigue… That’s what I would try to remember.”

Levi was impressed, and he isn’t impressed easily. She was extremely clever with her mnemonics, and she wasn’t even a pharmacology major.

“You are…” Levi began. Hange looked at him for a moment while they stopped at another light. He felt woozy, but in a good way. She looked nice. “Such a nerd.” Hange beamed.

“I’ll help you more later but I gotta focus on the road now. Levi smiled, putting his cards away. Hange noticed this, and turned the radio on. She got distracted trying to pick a channel, which made Levi frantic.

“I will pick a channel. Focus on the road, four-eyes,” He decided, shaking his head. His heart almost fell out of his chest. He made a mental note to never let her drive him anywhere again. Hange sighed, submissively agreeing, putting both hands on the wheel. They got into the city. Hange hadn’t been to the city often, even though it was not too far away. Levi disliked the city. It was too loud for him. Being out at the Uni didn’t make it as easy for him to sleep as he had originally thought. He was used to hearing the hustle and bustle of the city, that his ears buzzed with silence at night time on campus. Levi attempted to give Hange directions as they weaved their way through the busy roads. She almost got into two car accidents. She just laughed it off, but Levi was frazzled.

Finally, Levi thought. Out of the main city. Levi took a deep, deep breath. His mom lived on the outskirts of the city, which was very convenient. They were almost there. Hange finally found the house and pulled into the driveway. The house was small and a dark navy blue. Hange parked the car, and opened the trunk. She handed Levi his bag and they headed to the door. Hange was standing awfully close behind him which made him nervous. He knocked on the door.

A few moments later, the door opened. A beautiful lady opened the door. She had raven hair, steel blue eyes, and a beautiful smile.

“Levi!” She exclaimed, smiling wide. She hugged him. Levi patted her back, and Hange saw a smile creep on his face. “What a pleasant surprise!”

“Good to see you, mom. I wanted to visit.” They broke away and his mom peered over his shoulder.

“Who’s this?”

“This is my friend, Hange,” Levi said, introducing Hange. She smiled and put out her hand. “It’s wonderful to meet you, Mrs. Ackerman.” His mom shook her hand.

“Call me Kuchel,” She insisted. She invited them in.

“Hange actually drove me today,” Levi began, setting his bags down on the side. “I needed to study so she offered to drive…” He wasn’t sure why he told his mom this information. Maybe he felt he needed an excuse as to why he came with a girl.

“That’s so lovely! Well I’m glad the two of you decided to come down. Uncle Kenny will be stopping by later. I’m sure he’d be happy to see you. Miss Hange, are you staying for dinner?”

Hange blushed, scratching her head. “I’d love to, if that’s okay.”

“Great! Make yourself at home.”

Hange admired his house. It was very cozy and extremely neat. There was a big open living room area when they first walked in, a kitchen and dining room to their left, and other rooms to the right. It smelt of clean laundry. She liked it a lot. There were assorted pictures hung on the wall. She shoved her hands in her pockets as she admired the photos. Kuchel had a photo of Levi hanging, which Hange stared at for the longest. It was a photo of Levi with his mom at an event, most likely high school graduation. The photo was taken outside on a sunny day. He wore a blue cap and gown. Kuchel’s arm was around his shoulder, smiling wide. Levi wore a small smile. She saw another picture, which was of Kuchel and an older man with long hair. Hange suddenly felt a tug at her sleeve. Levi.

“Take your shoes off,” he said. Hange slipped her shoes off and put them on the rack.

“Levi! Hange!” Kuchel called. “Would you like some tea?” They both agreed. They wandered into the small dining room and sat across from each other. Hange liked how Levi looked that day. He looked comfortable. His grey sweater made his eyes stand out. He almost caught her standing. Kuchel carefully brought over the steeped pot of tea and sat down at the head of the table.

“I boiled some earl grey tea, I hope that’s okay. That’s Levi’s favorite,” Kuchel said, cupping both her hands around the teacup. Levi picked his tea cup up by placing his fingers around the rim, taking a slow sip.

“Hange,” Kuchel said, smiling at the girl. “How do you guys meet?”

Oh great. Here she goes.

“Well, Levi happened to come to the library I work at to work on his project. I was able to help him out… Although I study botanicals, I read a lot so I know a lot about different topics. One of them happens to be drugs. Medications, I mean. So, anyways, he and I started talking and hanging out and whatnot. And here we are,” Hange explained. When she finished, she looked at Levi. He was staring at her. Her eyes lit up again, and Levi couldn’t look away. Doesn’t everyone know they shouldn’t stare into the sun?

“That’s lovely!” Kuchel exclaims. She sips her tea. “Levi usually doesn’t ask for help. But I’m glad you were able to help him. I remember back in elementary school, he would always insist on doing the projects himself. My stubborn boy. He gets that from me, you know. I can be so stubborn sometimes.” She took a pause, and Levi jumped in.

“Mom,” Levi intervened. Kuchel looked at her son. Kuchel could tell she may have been embarrassing him. “I’m gonna go study.” Come with me, Hange, he wanted to add. Hange finished her tea, and stood up. “Thank you for the tea, Kuchel. I’d love to hear more of your stories, but I offered to help Levi study.” Kuchel smiled, squeezing Hange’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, go on ahead.” The two nodded. Levi led her down the hall, and opened a door. It looked like Levi’s bedroom. It was extremely tidy. He also had a desk. It wasn’t too big, but did the job. He had some drawers with some photos on top. He kept the door open.

“You can take the desk chair. I’ll sit on the bed,” Levi concluded. He sat on the bed, pulling his knees up. He took out his drug flash cards.

“Levi, do you have a white board? Or poster board?” Hange asked.

“Why?”

“You’ll see.” Levi remembered he had an easel in the back of his closet. He stood up to retrieve it. He finally set it up. It was wide, which was perfect. It’s spotless, Hange thought. It’s like he never used it.

“My mom got this for me but I have yet to use it,” Levi said. Did he hear me?

“Okay,” Hange began. “So, we talked about ACE inhibitors and Beta Blockers, right? So, let’s go through the rest and compare them all.” She took out a purple marker, beginning to write on the board. In the center, she wrote “Anti-HTN Meds”. She drew an arrow to the left corner, writing “ACE Inhibitors” and writing all its information. She did the same with Beta Blockers.

“What’s next?” Hange asked, looking at Levi.

“Thiazide diuretics,” Levi sighed. “This is HCTZ. It helps lower blood pressure by removing fluids from the body, resulting in diuresis. Side effects include hypokalemia and hyponatremia, orthostatic hypotension.” Hange wrote as he spoke. He was surprised she can write so fast.

“Okay! So, it seems that a common theme is orthostatic hypotension, no?” She questioned, not facing him. She grabbed a red marker to write “orthostatic hypotension” and replaced the other one written. As Levi read off multiple classifications of medications, Hange created the web. She made a map that connected the similarities of the medications, while making it organized enough to understand the differences. Levi was impressed for the second time that day. Hange was sincerely helping him conceptualize and comprehend the information. Then, he realized Hange hadn’t sat down since they began studying.

“Oi, don’t break your back,” Levi said.

“Haha! I’m fine! I’ve only been standing since around 11 am...” She took her phone out of her pocket and turned it on for the time. “...it’s almost 3 now! Wow! We really pushed through for hours! That’s fantastic!” She smiled wide at him, but Levi could tell she was exhausted from standing.

Levi hopped off his bed. “Lay down,” He ordered. Hange furrowed her brows, but didn’t protest. She sprawled supine on his bed, sighing. “Thanks, Levi,” She exhaled, closing her eyes. His bed was still a bit warm from when he was occupying it. It was lower than her bed at her dorm, but she liked it.

“Let’s take a break,” Levi decided. He had a small flatscreen TV mounted on the wall in his room. He walked to the TV to grab the remote, and turned it on. He admired Hange for a brief moment as he passed her to sit in the desk chair. She looked tired. He put on a crime documentary. Hange perked up automatically. Her eyes widened with interest.

“Honestly, I’m not surprised you like these,” Levi assumed. She chuckled and replied: “I guess we’re both freaks after all.” It made Hange’s heart happy that they had something in common. She was worried Levi wouldn’t like her since she was so different from him, but maybe she had a chance now. She was so absorbed in the show that she didn’t realize Levi left the room to grab something to eat. Levi greeted his mom.

“Hi, honey,” Kuchel responded. “How’s Hange?”

“She’s fine. I wanted to get us something to eat.”

“Oh! You’re in luck,” Kuchel cheered, opening a cabinet to grab two bowls. “I just heated up some soup for myself. Would you like some? It’s wild rice.”

“Sounds good,” Levi replied. Kuchel filled two bowls.

“She’s pretty, your friend Hange,” Kuchel said. She wasn’t facing Levi when she spoke. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you two ended up dating. You seem to like her a lot.” Levi felt his face flush bright red.

“Thanks for the food,” He ignored her comment, taking the bowls to his room. He made sure to keep his face out of his mother’s sight. Kuchel giggled softly to herself. She knew he wouldn’t dare to reply to a comment that he knew was true.

He came back to the room with the two bowls. “Here’s lunch,” He said, handing her the bowl. Hange was sitting with her knees to her chest, intently staring at the screen. She looked toward him when he spoke, accepting the bowl in two cupped hands. “Thank you!” She smiled wide. He smiled too. He loved her smile. “When did you get this, anyways?”

“I left the room to get it. I said, ‘Hange, I’m getting us lunch.’ You didn’t hear me?”

Hange chuckled in embarrassment. “I guess I was too absorbed in the show. Sorry.” Levi shook his head lightly and sat down. He attempted to move the chair closer to the bed without her noticing. He was successful. Hange was sitting up on the bed with her legs criss-crossed, bowl in her lap. Levi was cross-legged in the desk chair, which was right next to the bed. Hange didn’t seem to mind or even notice until she had turned to look to her right, and she realized Levi was so close to her. His face was really close. He felt her staring, but couldn’t dare to look back. His heart would’ve exploded.

“You’re staring is creeping me out, four-eyes,” Levi said, startling Hange.

“Oh, yeah?” Hange chuckled. She suddenly grabbed his chin and turned his head towards hers. His wide eyes were staring into hers now. He felt like his heart was about to explode. “What about now?”

“...Creep,” He murmured. The tone of his voice changed entirely compared to his previous statement. Hange noticed this. His voice was soft and nervous. Levi felt his whole body start to heat up. He felt his heart throbbing in his head. He felt his breath hitch in his throat. He gently placed his hand on her cheek. She accepted his touch. He leaned in hesitantly, closing his eyes. Hange did the same, and finally there was no space between them anymore. Their lips collided. She kissed his lips softly, as if she was nervous to kiss too hard. Levi had kissed girls before, but it was never like this. Never so emotional. Never so breathtaking. Never so soft or warm or gentle. He never wanted it to end. He was smitten by her. Their lips parted. She wasn’t extremely close after they parted, but she kept her eyes focused on his. Hange felt her heart pulsating in her chest. He looked into her rich hazel eyes again. He swore he fell in love with her in that instant.

#aot #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #levihan #levi ackerman #hange zoe #hanji zoe #levihan fic #levihan oneshot #levi x hange #levi x hanji #rivahan #fluff overload

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wisteria-lodge · 3 years

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lion primary + badger secondary (bird model)

ie A HOUSE MATCH !!

Hellooo, I’m sorry for bothering you but I’ve found this blog and I absolutely love your character analysis and overall thought about the SHC system, and I could use some help?

I’ve known the system for a while now, since the old SHC tumblr times, and while understanding my current primary situation has been quite easy, I’m having A LOT of trouble with my secondary and it’s becoming a bit of a issue for me because the more I think about it, the more confused I become, to the point where it’s upsetting me a bit.

First thing first, my Primary is a very “standard” Lion, the whole “you feel if something is right or not and if you do something that’s not right to you you feel bad/ill/it’s wrong” is extremely me. I had some doubts about a Badger model, but I think it’s just that my personal ideals and values align a lot with a Badger worldview, since I grew in a very Badger society and family (very leftist, a lot of emphasis on equality and valuing and creating communities). Reading various description/interpretations of primary Lion always feels right, while reading primary Badger always makes me think “yeah, this is all good and nice, BUT…” so this was quite easy to sort out (no pun intended).

Are you me? So far... I could have written this. It’s possible I *might* be biased going forward.

When it comes to secondaries, I see a lot of myself in Bird descriptions: I make spreadsheets for everything.

Pretty Bird.

I am a crafter with an apparently endless supply of books and tutorials and supplies ready, and the enthusiasm to share them.

That sounds more Badger.

I am the mom friend

Badger.

who always has what’s needed in their bag.

Bird.

I am that one person you can count on knowing a funny or interesting anecdote about almost any topic, from the mundane to the truly obscure. Learning new things, about any topic, is literally one of my biggest pleasures in life.

Bird [model?] Whichever one isn’t your secondary is a model you clearly love.

I take pride in all these things, but I honestly have trouble understanding if I like using them as tools because they help me with my ADHD and so I received a very strong positive enforcement using them and I kept the ones I like, or if I started doing them because they are what I like doing and coincidentally they help me managing my symptoms or better navigate the world in my day to day life.

Could be either, but modeling Bird because you’re neurodivergent is very much a thing.

Also, while I love planning, when it comes to making decisions I tend to gather all information and summarize it in a way that makes sense to me so I can visualize the issue in my mind as complete and detailed as possible, but the final decision tends to feel a bit… impulsive, to me?, there’s always A LOT of gut feeling involved, and when I don’t follow it usually it ends up being a wrong or subpar decision. I do need to gather all the available information about the issue/situation/item/people, but rather than making my decision by comparison, I use the information to make sure that I’m “seeing” the truth (or as close to it as it is possible) and then once I feel safe that I’m not overlooking anything important I just KNOW what is the correct decision.

That’s a Lion primary making a call.

Could this simply be a very strong primary interfering with the decision-making, even when it’s not about ideals but more mundane things?

Decision making is always a primary thing. Mundane stuff included. Mundane stuff is important.

On the other hand, I am an extremely hard working person (I am changing jobs right now because I feel like my old bosses are making more and more difficult for me to just do my job properly and without needing to cut corners, and it just feels wrong to me).

Oh good lord. I am ready to sort you as a Badger secondary solely on the basis of THAT.

People tell me I’m a very good listener and that I am especially good at helping others unravel their thoughts when they’re all confused and tangled because I ask the right questions. I seem to gain other people’s trust easily and often I get told gossip or secrets before others.

Badger. Also DAMN but that’s relatable. I think you might house-match me.

I got told several times by previous bosses that I should look into becoming a team leader because people like me and I make them get along better.

Sounds like a Lion/Badger combo.

People get attached to me very quickly and when I have problems the stream of folks asking if they can help or just checking in is always way more than I expect.

Isn’t it weird how that happens?

This all sounds like Badger stuff, from the descriptions I read, but many of them are not things I actively enjoy doing, I just.. do them because it would be weird to do otherwise? Or it feels like they happen to me with no effort on my part.

Because they’re just you. It’s just who you are.

I think they might be simply a result of me growing up in a society that values hard work and being kind to others, or just me being a likeable person

Not everyone finds this easy. Not even close. I have read so many testimonials written by people in Badger secondary households killing themselves trying to fit into this model. Wanting isn’t enough. Having examples around you isn’t enough.

or maybe coping mechanisms I had to learn in order to “pass” as neurotypical but as I wrote the more think and read about Birds and Badgers and their differences, the more I get confused and frustrated.

Now I know I’m projecting, but all my neurotypical coping mechanisms come out of the Bird secondary toolbox.

But it would make sense since I burned out badly in my teens from trying to always try to be perfect for my family, my friends, my teachers, society

That sounds like a young Badger secondary, more than a young Bird secondary.

and when I finally found who I really wanted to be I resolved to never let anyone define what or how I should be ever again (hello there, Lion primary!)

I hear that.

After a lifetime of beating myself up for not living up to the absurdly high expectations I set up for myself, I have decided that the only way to stay sane for me is to do the groundwork, be as prepared as I can

Bird

put in the work I should

Badger

but once I’m in the thick of it just… ride the wave. And now I got to the point where I have the confidence that I am smart enough to learn the basics of a new skill on the fly, if needed.

To me, this is so fundamentally, so spiritually Badger secondary. You don’t have tools. You are a tool. You made yourself into one. And that moment where you can just trust yourself to catch the world, absorb it into yourself, and become whatever it needs you to be... it’s ecstasy.

I’d say that lack of time is my worst enemy, but due/thanks to the ADHD that’s not true most of the time, since lack of time is what enables me to get past the executive dysfunction in the first place, so I’ll say I have a love-hate relationship with it. Doing things just before a deadline is it’s own kind of high, after all (I’m not saying it’s healthy).

At the base of your soul, you’re not really a Bird prepper/planner.

A practical example: I usually don’t like platforming games much, but I am LOVING Immortals: Fenyx Rising because in most situations, there is a “best” way to do things but you can also get creative by using different skills, using specific items, finding loopholes, or a combination of all of them.

Sounds like a Bird secondary having fun. [a fun model?]

When I fail a level/combat I don’t get frustrated because I know that I just have to try a few more times until I find the solution that feels right FOR ME, even if it’s not the most efficient ones. And when I do it feels great, even if I look a at guide afterwards and there’s a waaay easier solution! I usually feel a bit silly for not “seeing it” but also think something like “well, I think MY way is more fun!”

Oh yeah, a Bird secondary would not have that reaction. That is the sacred Badger consistency of method. How you do something matters equally as much as the final product.

When I cook, I usually find a recipe I like and try it as written, then I make small adjustments to improve it, see how it turns out, and so on until I have a recipe that is MY recipe, one I really like and that I know well enough to use as a basis to be changed if needed, knowing exactly how the change will affect the end result. I think this is why I prefer baking to other kinds of cooking, since it’s much more akin to chemistry I feel like I have more control over what a change will do.

On it’s own this could be a description of rapid-fire Bird. And you clearly have Bird, you have a lot of it. You love it.

So I guess that what really matters to me is being able to do things my way so that I can enjoy the process and live up to my standards instead of external ones?

But then you say something like this... it’s about the process... it’s about the method... it’s about something coming up to your own personal standards. And that’s so Badger.

This ended up being very lengthy… I’ve tried shortening it but English isn’t my first language and I was afraid I might come across not clearly.

Your English is perfect, and insanely clear. You’re clearer than I am.

Thank you again for the blog, I especially like your DS9 characters’ analysis and I am low-key hoping for more :)

I’m particularly proud of those ones. I’d love to do more, but before that I would have to go back and re-watch the show, or at least key character episodes. I’m not going to sort from memory. That would be doing a show I love, and a number of extremely complex characters a disservice. And it wouldn’t be nearly as fun.

(it’s that whole Badger integrity-of-method thing, you know how it goes.)

#sortinghatchats #sortme #wisteria sorts #lion primary #badger secondary #bird model #my lion badger #adhd #submission

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hopelesshawks · 4 years

Text

Physical Fatality Part 9- Cruelty

18+ Hawks x fem, pro hero!reader

Summary: You’re a rising star in All Might’s agency. Hawks is the darling of Endeavor’s. By virtue of your job descriptions, the two of you are supposed to hate each other, or at the very least be cautiously neutral. For a long time that’s exactly what the two of you did. You stayed out of each other’s way and formed little opinion of the other. One fateful night at an HPSC gala changes all that. Based on the album Hopeless Fountain Kingdom by Halsey.

If you don’t want to see Physical Fatality content blacklist #hopelesspf

This story will have multiple NSFW parts so it is 18+ ONLY minors dni

Warnings for alcoholism

Masterlist

“No Hawks.”

“Why won’t you at least let me explain?”

“Because I suspect your explanation for why you ripped my heart out despite, supposedly, still being in love with me is going to piss me the fuck off and we have a red carpet to walk in a few minutes.”

“You always have an excuse for why we can’t talk. We never see each other at work anymore-“

“Hmm, I wonder why? It’s almost like someone’s bullshit got me kicked off the task force.”

“Not my point. I would talk to you at your place but your roommate stops me every time!”

“I always did like Mina.”

“Jesus you’re fucking impossible. I just want to make things right!”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have fucked them up in the first place.”

“I can’t change the past.”

“And I can’t deal with my feelings for you on top of trying to salvage my fucking career.”

“So you admit there are still feelings?”

“How is that your takeaway from that sentence?”

It’s been about three days since the article about you and Hawks dropped. You are about four minutes from a heart attack and you think Hawks may be a maniac but he doesn’t know it. Your ride to another bullshit HPSC event stops and your door is opened to reveal a red carpet and a hoard of paparazzi awaiting your arrival. You and Hawks had just been fighting in your limousine but they don’t know. They can never know. So Hawks steps out and carefully smooths out his designer suit before reaching a hand down to help you out of the car. You take his hand and gracefully step out in your equally designer shoes and dress. You smile at each other as if your love is pure and uncomplicated. You smile at the paparazzi as if they aren’t the bane of your existence. You smile as you make your way into the event as if you aren’t literally dreading it. It honestly makes you feel nauseous. But this is the reality of modern day hero work. It’s as much about image and politics as it is about saving people, no matter how ridiculous you think that is.

You wish Bakugo and Midoriya were here so you’d at least have some uncomplicated friendly faces but they’re probably off doing actual hero work. You get the honor of shaking the hands of wealthy donors to the HPSC and interacting with heroes you’d probably recognize if you hadn’t been black out drunk at the last ranking ceremony. “I’ll grab us drinks,” Hawks sighs in a rare break the two of you have between meeting people. “I think that’s the first smart thing you’ve said all night,” you reply. He resists the temptation to roll his eyes as he tells you he’ll be right back and walks towards the bar. He isn’t gone long before you hear a deep voice behind you say, “I heard you were removed from the task force.” It takes everything in you not to launch Endeavor through the window as you turn to face him. “Unfortunately yes. All Might felt it was unwise for me to be on a task force with someone I was romantically involved with,” you reply as professionally as possible considering you’re still trying to figure out if the satisfaction of yeeting this prick out the window would be worth getting fired. “So I guess your little plan backfired on you then,” Endeavor says smugly. “My little plan?” “Your plan to use Hawks to climb the hero charts and gain insight into my agency.” You stare at the man in front of you and blink at him a few times. “I’m sorry can you just say that one more time?” you ask dumbfounded. This throws Endeavor off for a moment but then he clears his throat and repeats, “Your plan to use Hawks to-“ “Ok yea no that’s what I thought you said,” you say cutting him off. “I know this may be hard for you to hear but uhm, not everything is about you,” you sigh exasperatedly. “I am aware but-“ “No, no. Shut the fuck up, no but’s. There was no plan. I was just dumb enough to fall in love with your stupid ass Golden boy. Some of us are actually content just saving people regardless of some dumb, arbitrary ranking.” “Oh.” A pause. “What the fuck do you mean oh?” “I don’t owe you an explanation and you should watch how you talk to me.” “No one is paying attention to us right now, I’m not watching shit.” “Regardless you risk causing a scene.” “Oh my god, did you share your little theory with Hawks?” you press, and the sheepish look on his face is answer enough but then Hawks returns to your side, two drinks in hand, looking between you and Endeavor curiously. “Am I interrupting something?” Hawks asks with a raised eyebrow. “Babe could we talk privately for a moment?” you ask with a saccharine tone. “Uhh, sure,” Hawks replies. Next thing he knows you’re tugging him away from Endeavor and out of the banquet hall.

It pains him to realize how like and unlike this is to the first time the two of you met. The sly look Kamui Woods gives him as the two of you pass by makes him a little nauseous in all honesty. Probably because if he hadn’t fucked up so royally then maybe the two of you would be sneaking away for the reason the other man thinks right now. Instead he’s sure he’s about to get an earful because of whatever Endeavor had said to you. Eventually you tug him into a supply closet, using your quirk to find and flick on the light switch before closing the two of you into the tight space. He realizes it’s the first time you’ve been this close to him without a camera or another person nearby. “Hawks,” you start and and it hurts. It hurts every time you use his hero name when the two of you are alone. He misses the way his real name sounded on your tongue. He misses the fondness you used to have in your tone when you used it. He misses the way you’d sometimes shorten it to ‘Kei’. He misses it so much so that without thinking he interrupts you to say “Don’t call me that when we’re alone.” You ignore the interruption and that hurts too. “Did you break up with me because Endeavor told you I was just using you?” you ask him and all the air rushes out of his lungs. Finally you knew what he’d been trying to tell you for the past few days since everything went to shit. “Yes, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I never stopped loving you (y/n) but I got scared and I’m so sorry. I never should have listened to him,” Hawks sighs and it feels like a weight off to finally tell you. “So it wasn’t that you didn’t love me,” you start and Hawks feels his broken heart starting to put itself back together, “it was just that you didn’t love me enough to have faith in me.”

Wait, what?

No. No, no, no this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. Everything was supposed to get better once you found out the truth behind the break up. So why, then, do you look so distraught? “No, baby, no that’s not it,” he tries to assure you but you shake your head. “Isn’t it? You love me but not enough to hear out my side of the story before you dumped me. You love me but not enough to ignore the words of a man I’ve never had a full conversation with prior to today,” you point out. “I was just scared. He threatened my career and I just-“ “Just what? Hawks I can count on one hand the number of people who have genuinely had faith in me. That makes it really important to me. I thought I could count you as one of them.” “Hey, that’s not fair. I have faith in you but if you were in my shoes you would’ve made the same decision.” “And what shoes were those exactly?” “The shoes of someone hearing a man they’ve known and trusted for years tell them all the reasons why they’re an idiot to trust the woman they just met a few months prior.” “I didn’t realize I gave so many reasons for you not to trust me.” “That’s not what I meant and you know it. As dumb as I think the rivalry is it’s no secret that the lower ranks in both our agencies still believe in it and up until a year ago that was you.” “You could’ve asked.” “Maybe so but he also pointed out that there’s no way you couldn’t have fucking known who I was considering I’m the only hero with bright red fucking wings on my back,” Hawks grits out and as if on cue his wings are flaring and puffing up in the small space as if to emphasize his point. “Oh....” you trail off.

You have to admit he has a point on the last one. Sure, he could’ve asked. But Hawks never knew how problematic your drinking habits could be. Once the two of you got together you started getting sober so you hadn’t seen a reason to mention it. If he had asked you directly you don’t know that you would’ve been able to tell him the truth and that would’ve seemed to confirm Endeavor’s theory. “Yea, ‘oh’,” Hawks says and you almost wish you could hear more resentment in his tone instead of resignation because you are still so, so angry with him but you’re starting to see his side now and you hate it. At least if he resented you there wouldn’t be as much guilt for the blind rage you’d channeled his way. “That’s the one piece I still can’t make fit to be honest. Why’d you pretend not to recognize me?” he asks and if you didn’t still love him you’d probably give a half assed lie and be done with it. But you do, and he sounds so fucking heartbroken that you decide he at least deserves the truth. “I never gave a shit about the hero rankings. Who cares if you’re number 1 or number 50 as long as you’re saving people, y’know? So I never watched the ranking ceremony on tv and the one year I went in person I got black out drunk beforehand because Monoma was finally in the top 10 and he was being absolutely unbearable and I knew he’d continue to be for the rest of the night. So I drank and now I don’t remember any of it. I literally don’t know what any hero I haven’t directly worked with looks like. I know the names but couldn’t match them to faces for the life of me. Even with your ‘bright red fucking wings’. Bakugo actually gave me shit for it when I realized who you are,” you explain. “Would you have told me all that if I had asked you then?” he asks. “Probably not,” you admit. The kiss afterwards is unexpected but not unwelcome.

Hawks doesn’t consciously decide to kiss you. It’s just one moment you’re admitting you may not have been able to dispel his concerns and the next he’s reaching for you. He doesn’t regret it though. The moment your lips touch it’s like a missing piece of him has slotted back into place. It quickly grows heated and his hands find their way to your waist to reel you in closer and closer until there’s hardly any space between the two of you. He’s missed this so much it’s been a physical ache and he pours every bit of that pain and regret and heartache and love and hope, such agonizingly desperate hope, into the kiss, praying it will convey even a fraction of what he’s been feeling the past few days. Praying that maybe he can reach you and the two of you can go back to the bliss you enjoyed before he let Endeavor get in his head and ruin things. But then he feels wetness on his cheeks and when he pulls back to look at you he realizes you’re crying. “Why are you crying Love?” he asks as he reaches both hands up to cup your face and wipe the tears away. “Because if you feel even a fraction of what I feel when I kiss you, I don’t know how you could ever think it was fake,” you confess and it shatters his heart all over again. “(Y/n), I-“ “I wanna go home.” “Ok, I’ll fly us back to mine and we can-“ “No Hawks. My home. My apartment. I need... I need time.” “Ok.”

The two of you sneak out of the event. The tabloids will likely be flooded with headlines about how you and Hawks are so madly in love you had to sneak away for a supply closet tryst only to realize that wasn’t enough and decide to just bail on the event entirely. They’ll be wrong, of course, but it’s better they run that than the truth. Neither you nor Hawks says a word as he flies you to your apartment. Only once you’re standing in your open doorway does Hawks pipe up. “I have to leave tomorrow for a mission,” he says. “Task force?” you ask, although you’re not sure if you want to know the answer. “Yea. Task force,” he confirms. “Oh.” “Yea.” “Ok. How long will you be gone?” “I don’t know but at least a week.” “So I get a week’s break from the circus,” you say and part of you knows it’s a cruel thing to say, but another part of you says it’s only cruel if he actually cares for you as much as he claims to. “Yea, I guess so,” he says and he sounds so goddamn sad. You’re hurting him. You’re hurting him and you wish you could make yourself stop but you can’t. “Goodnight Hawks,” you sigh and then you close the door before he can respond. He stands staring at the closed door for a long while. You can tell by the shadow underneath the door. Eventually though he sighs and you hear him walk away with heavy, defeated steps.

Which is crueler: Him hurting you unintentionally because he never gave you the chance to explain? Or you intentionally breaking his heart the way he broke yours? You suspect you won’t like the answer so you go to the kitchen to grab a drink and try and forget you even posed the question in the first place.

You told Hawks his time away would be a break. In actuality it was agony. You went to work and then you went home. Bakugo and Midoriya were getting worried but work kept them busy enough you could avoid their questions and their concern and their judgment for the most part. “Why don’t you just talk to him?” Midoriya had asked one day. “She doesn’t owe him shit,” Bakugo had scoffed. “Maybe not,” Midoriya had acknowledged before turning back to you to say “but that doesn’t change the fact that the two of you love each other and you’re the one who decided to fake the relationship to the press. Even if you guys don’t start a real relationship again the least you could do is make sure you aren’t actively making each other miserable.” “I’ll think about it,” you had replied, but you decidedly didn’t think about it.

It’s been two weeks now since Hawks went away. You miss him. You wander into your kitchen, grab a bottle of Cabernet, open it, and are turning to lock yourself in your room when you nearly bump into an unfamiliar man with blonde hair with a single, lightning shaped black streak. “Who the fuck are you?” you ask once you’ve recovered. The man looks shaken by the question and a tad bit intimidated. “I’m, uh, Denki. Your new roommate? Mina introduced us the other day. You said hi, told me not to let Hawks in if he shows up, and then locked yourself in your room,” he explains sheepishly. You have zero recollection of this. You were probably drunk when it happened. “Oh... Well I’m (y/n) in case I forgot to mention it before,” you awkwardly introduce yourself before stepping around him. “See you around I guess,” you call over your shoulder before going back to your room and locking the door behind you.

You’re about halfway through the bottle of wine when it hits you what a sad sight this is. You’re wasting a perfectly good Saturday sitting at home alone and drinking by yourself in your locked room. The press would have a field day if they knew. You go to take another swig from the bottle, you’re far too sober to deal with everything you’re feeling right now, when you suddenly hear the sound of your lock shifting. You dismiss it at first as Mina trying the door to come check on you, but then it suddenly swings open to reveal Denki kneeling on the ground with a bobby pin looking accomplished and a nervous but determined looking Hawks standing behind him. “I thought I told you not to let him in,” you find yourself saying as you try to process what’s happening. Denki shrugs. “Seemed like you two could use a good chat,” he says before walking away. Hawks steps into the room and closes the door back behind him. “We need to talk. For real this time. I just.... Please give me a chance to explain or, or, to just prove to you that my feelings are real or something. Anything. Please,” he begs. Hawks has always been able to play you like a violin, hitting just the right notes to get your stubborn ass to bend, even if he doesn’t seem to realize it. A voice in the back of your head reminds you it’s doubtful he realizes considering all you’ve done is treat him cruelly since that tabloid came out. He deserves some of your ire. He doesn’t deserve all of it. “Don’t you think this is a conversation that should be had sober?” you ask, raising the half empty bottle of Cabernet for emphasis. “You just got off work a little while ago which means that’s the only bottle you’ve been working on. We both know it takes way more than half a bottle of wine to get you drunk,” he points out and he’s got you there. You’re out of excuses and honestly he probably does deserve a conversation. After all, Midoriya wasn’t wrong. You had no good reason to continue to deny Hawks at this point.

“Fine, let’s talk.”

Author’s Note: THIS HURT ME TO WRITE BUT WE OUT HERE. Hawks and (y/n)’s relationship is so complicated at this point and it’s interesting to write but it’s also hard and painful to write because you want them to be happy and in love but there is so much outside of them now that is involved in their relationship. Anyway suffer with me ig 🥲❤️

Taglist [open]: @akkaso @cathy8taffy @eeppff @iikillerkitteh @pixelwisp @pokesosa @lildockel @bread0nhead

#hopelesspf #hawks #wing hero hawks #hawks x reader #hawks x y/n

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pickalilywrites · 3 years

Text

i'm still alive ^^

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How to Be a Good Coworker

Erejean. Zombie Detective AU.

Chapter 4.

11442 words.

Read on Ao3!

For the past week, Eren has been bumming it out at Jean’s house. Every other day, he visits the basement in the bookstore Annie works at so that he and his friends can compare notes, but not much progress has been made in terms of finding his killer. While everyone else’s suspect lists remain empty at every meeting, Annie’s list manages to grow every time they see each other.

(“Are you just writing down the name of everyone in town that you can remember?” Armin asks her at one point after taking a closer look at her list.

“Yes,” Annie replies without blinking.)

Eren’s beginning to think that they’ll never find his murderer, but maybe that’s okay. Maybe his murder was a one-time thing and whoever killed him regretted their actions so much that they vowed never to kill again. Maybe they’re repenting for their sins right now. Maybe there isn’t a killer lurking in the town and turning people into zombies and they’re just doing all this extra work for nothing. Eren knows that the possibility of this is highly unlikely, but he honestly wants to shove all this business about his murderer in the back of his mind now that he has more pressing things to worry about.

After visiting his mother the other day, Eren’s phone has been blowing up every morning and night with texts from his mom. She’s always asking him how he’s doing, if he wants to visit soon, and what he had for breakfast or dinner. His answers are nearly always the same: fine, maybe when he finds the time, and just whatever Jean had gotten from his mom or a nearby restaurant. He always has to take pictures of Jean’s meals to send to his mom and assure her that he’s eating properly, although all the oil and spices make him want to gag. Even being near them makes him feel nauseous. Jean likes to point out that Eren’s choice in food isn’t any much better, but Eren begs to differ. The fact that the meat he eats isn’t loaded with any seasonings or extraneous flavors makes his food superior already, but Jean always rolls his eyes whenever Eren begins his rant on the greatness of raw meat.

Eren shreds into a piece of pork shoulder. It’s not his favorite cut of pork. Although the cut of pork might be more forgiving on Jean’s wallet, it’s tougher than Eren prefers. Maybe Jean doesn’t see a difference because he’s never thought about how different it is once the meat is cooked. Pork shoulder is similar to other cuts when they’re cooked. You could substitute it with pork butt or a pork leg and still get the same tenderness, but only if you braise it. When it’s uncooked, it’s tough as shit, Eren thinks as he gnaws on the meat in dissatisfaction. He’d rather be eating some pork belly right now with meat so fatty that it’s practically melting on his tongue. The thought of it makes Eren drool and the piece of meat in his mouth nearly falls out.

Someone knocks at the door and Eren freezes. Jean is already out for work. He’s too organized to leave anything at home, so there isn’t any reason for him to come back. Jean’s mother is even more organized and knows Jean’s schedule even better than Jean probably does, so it wouldn’t make sense for her to come here either.

Cautiously, Eren gets up from his seat and makes his way to the front door as quietly as possible. He doesn’t even breathe as he peers into the peephole, his cheek pressed against the door. He’s more than surprised when he sees Annie Leonhardt standing on the other side. Or maybe he shouldn’t be.

“Did you forget that I was supposed to pick you up today?” Annie grumbles as soon as Eren opens the door. She doesn’t even bother to say hello. Then again, Annie has never been one to waste time with meaningless greetings. She breezes past Eren and plops down on Jean’s couch, quite comfortable even though this isn’t even her apartment. When she sees Eren staring at her, she raises her eyebrows and gestures towards his half-eaten breakfast. “Don’t just stand there gawking. Finish your disgusting food. We have places to be.”

Eren sniffs and swings the door shut. It’s strong enough to shake the tiny apartment, but Annie doesn’t even flinch. “It’s not disgusting,” Eren mumbles as he shuffles over to the dining table. Hastily, he wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand and grimaces when he sees traces of blood smeared across his skin. He really does need to listen to Jean about eating properly. It’s fine if it’s just Jean, but if it's Annie or any of their other friends, it’s embarrassing even if they also know about Eren’s condition.

The TV buzzes in the background as Annie flips through Jean’s Netflix account. Every once in a while she’ll smirk or snort at Jean’s choice in TV shows.

“Aren’t you invading his privacy?” Eren asks through a mouthful of pork shoulder. He nearly chokes trying to swallow it down. It’s as tough as shoe leather.

Annie points at Eren with the remote and gives him an icy stare. “Eren, we all know everything about each other. It’s the curse of being friends with you guys. I know every single anxious thought running through Armin’s mind at any given moment, I know you’re a zombie and all your weird zombie cravings, and I know just how much Reiner loves Bertholdt,” Annie says. “I’m pretty sure Jean doesn’t care that I’m browsing through his Netflix profile right now.”

Eren makes a face. Everything Annie has said is true, but it still feels wrong. It’s not like he can argue against Annie, though, so he shuts up, finishes the rest of his breakfast, and quickly washes his plate and utensils in the sink. Jean has said that he doesn’t mind if Eren just leaves his dirty plates in the sink, but it feels weird to have Jean wash plates smeared with blood that aren’t even his. Once he’s done, he slips into Jean’s room to change while Annie watches The Walking Dead, which feels kind of inconsiderate considering the circumstances.

“I’m ready,” Eren announces, stepping into the living room space. He’s dressed in black slacks and a mossy green turtleneck that covers his neck. Jean had done some quick shopping for Eren after work one day, so these clothes fit much better than the ones Eren had been borrowing from Jean. Eren has a tan peacoat thrown over his ensemble. He looks much nicer than he ever did for any of his internships back in college. Maybe he should let Jean pick his outfits for him more often.

Annie looks him over and frowns. “Aren’t you two awfully domestic?” she asks before clicking the TV off. She leans forward, elbows on her knees with her cheek resting in one hand. “Jean picked out some really nice clothes for you. You actually look better than you ever did when you were alive.”

Eren wrinkles his nose. He doesn’t think he’ll ever appreciate that joke. “How do you know he picked out these clothes?” Eren asks.

“Because you could never pick out clothes that look that good,” Annie replies. She ignores Eren, who’s spluttering and clearly offended, and shrugs on her coat. She wraps a fluffy white scarf (no doubt another one of Armin’s creations) around her neck and looks back at Eren. “Let’s go. I don’t want to have to look after you all day.”

“I told you guys I didn’t need you to walk me to and from work,” Eren mumbles, but he shuffles after Annie as she walks to the door.

“It’s more for the benefit of everyone else in town. You know, so you don’t eat them on accident,” Annie says. She says it casually, but Eren still winces. She gestures for Eren to follow her out the door. “Lock the door, too.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Eren rolls his eyes but does as he’s told. He even gives the handle a little jiggle to make sure he’s locked the door properly. When he slips the keys into the pocket of his slacks, he looks up to see that Annie is already descending the stairs. “Wait for me!” he squawks.

Despite being the smallest out of their group of friends, Annie seems the least afraid of letting her guard down around Eren. Armin, of course, is always anxious and has always been that way since before Eren had become zombified. Reiner, despite his jokes, still visibly tenses around Eren if he gets too close and Jean is always watching Eren with a cautious eye. Annie, however, shows her back freely to Eren. Had it been anyone else, Eren would be touched, but he knows for a fact that Annie is only relaxed because she can easily take Eren down with her eyes closed even in his zombie form. In a way, it makes it a little easier for Eren to be around her than some of their other friends.

The walk to the news building is long and silent. It’s something that should be expected. Annie is not one for conversation even with her friends. Eren knows this quite well considering the fact that they’ve both known each other for nearly their entire lives. Still, it doesn’t stop Eren from trying to make conversation because there’s nothing more than awkward lulls of silence.

“So, do you have any leads?” Eren asks. He shoves his hands into his pockets. He wonders if he should have put on gloves to hide how ugly and boney his fingers are. Maybe he’ll ask Armin to knit him some mittens. “It’s pretty hard for me to investigate myself since we’re trying to limit the amount of time I’m outside, but if you have anything …”

“I have many leads,” Annie replies. She turns her head slightly to face Eren and it makes it a little easier to hear her, although her voice is still muffled by her scarf. Almost the entire lower half of her face is covered by the scarf. Only her icy blue eyes and light blonde hair peeks out. “In fact, it might delight you to know that my list of suspects has only grown longer.”

It takes every ounce of self-restraint that Eren has to not let out a huge sigh. “I thought Armin specifically told you to stop adding names to that list,” Eren says. He reaches up to rub his eyes tiredly. “I think he told you to shorten that list and focus on people that might have actually wanted to kill me. Or turn me into a zombie.” For a brief moment, he wonders if those two things are the same.

Annie shakes her head. “You two are gravely underestimating the number of people in this town that would have wanted to kill you at least once in their lives,” Annie says with a cluck of her tongue. “It would be a disservice to our investigation to shorten that list. Besides, isn’t it better to leave every stone unturned?”

Eren eyes her wearily. He’s far too tired to argue with her. He strongly suspects that Annie isn’t taking this investigation seriously if she’s just writing down anyone’s name that comes to mind. Maybe he should be glad that she’s enjoying this in some sick, twisted way. At least someone’s having fun.

“Annie!” someone calls. It surprises Eren and it seems Annie too by the way she jumps slightly at the voice. When they turn around, they see a young girl with her dark hair in pigtails bundled up in a puffy winter coat that makes her look twice her size. When the girl smiles, she looks just like Reiner. “Are you coming to play?”

“Hi, Gabi!” Annie says. Her tone is much brighter than it usually is. She casually steps in front of Eren so that she’s now between him and the young girl. Crouching down slightly, Annie reaches out to pat Gabi on the head. “Nope. I’m just walking with my friend today. I’ll come visit you and Reiner at school if I have time, though.”

The young girl looks slightly disappointed and sticks her lower lip out in a pout. It’s been a while since Eren has seen Reiner’s niece. She’s grown quite a bit. She’s grown taller since the last time Eren’s seen her and her cheeks are nice and plump. The cold has made them look even rounder and rosier, and Eren thinks about how soft and smooth her skin looks. She reminds him a little bit of a newborn calf with her large eyes and young flesh. If he dug his teeth into her skin, he bet it would be like biting into cream and taste just like …

“Eren …?” the child asks. She’s staring up at him with those large brown eyes of hers.

Even with Annie standing firmly between them, Eren gulps nervously. Before he can open his mouth and say “hello,” a loud voice interrupts from behind.

“Gabi! Come give your Uncle Reiner a hug!” Reiner’s voice booms. It startles Eren, nearly making him fall backward. When the zombie turns to see Reiner, Reiner is holding open his arms for his niece, who gladly jumps into them. Reiner scoops Gabi up easily and spins her around, pressing a kiss against the crown of her head.

“Uncle Reiner!” Gabi squeals, giggling as Reiner gives her more kisses before putting her down behind him. She’s safely behind the wired gate of the kindergarten. She’s too busy smiling and giggling to notice the tense smile on her uncle’s face.

“Go play with the other kids before class starts, Gabi,” Reiner says. He gives her a pat on the head and watches as she runs off. When he turns back to Eren and Annie, he has a stern look on his face. It’s the kind of expression teachers and principals wore whenever Eren had been caught for causing trouble. Seeing it on Reiner’s face is just as bad. “You brought a zombie near my school?”

Unlike Eren, Annie doesn’t seem as ashamed. Maybe it’s because she never frequented the principal’s office as much as Eren had. “It was the closest way to the newspaper company,” Annie says, “and I had it handled. If Eren even started to lunge for Gabi, I was going to kill him.”

Eren squeaks.

“Gee, thanks,” Reiner says with a roll of his eyes. He leans against the gate, his arms crossed firmly across his chest. “I’d appreciate it if you took Eren on a different route on his way to work, though. As much as I know you could kill Eren with a single blow, I don’t want my students to watch you kill him if they happen to be around.”

Annie thinks for a moment, nibbling on her bottom lip, and then nods. “I’ll take him a different way starting tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” Reiner sighs. His face relaxes into a bright smile that’s just a little bit apologetic, although Eren is really the one that should be apologizing. Reiner reaches out to clap Eren on the back a little too roughly. “Congrats on the job, Eren. Are you excited for work?”

“Ah, I suppose,” Eren mumbles. He fidgets with the edge of his sleeves. “I mean, I like the idea of earning money so I can stop mooching off Jean.”

“You should mooch off of him,” Reiner says with a grin. “He’s your boyfriend. Shouldn’t you enjoy the fact that he’s spending money on you?”

Eren knows he’s only joking but he can feel his face redden anyway. “It’s not like it’s for real. He only did that so our moms wouldn’t be suspicious about why I’m living with him instead of returning home.”

“Still,” Reiner says with a dreamy sigh, “kind of romantic, don’t you think? It’s like a fake dating trope in real life, and you know how that ends.”

“This is real life, Reiner,” Eren reminds him.

Reiner dismisses Eren with a wave of his hand. “Things that happen in fiction can happen in real life!” Reiner says. “And even if it isn’t real, don’t you think it’s quite touching that Jean would fake date you just to keep people from discovering your secret?” He gestures to all of Eren, which makes the zombie feel dirty somehow.

“It’s just because he’s my friend,” Eren says.

“I would never pretend to date you,” Annie tells Eren, “for any reason.”

“... thanks, Annie.” Eren clears his throat and steers the conversation back to its original topic. “It’s just … impractical to have Jean earn money for both of us, especially since I’ll be living with him for the foreseeable future. It only makes sense that I get a job and this one seems perfect for me, although I don’t know why Jean doesn’t want me to work there.”

“Because he wants to be your sugar daddy,” Reiner says at the same time Annie says, “Because of Mikasa Ackerman.”

Eren shoots Reiner a glare and then turns to Annie, whose frown is deeper than usual. “What’s the deal with Mikasa Ackerman?” he asks. “Did they date or something? I asked Jean the other day, but he was acting funny.” To be honest, the thought of Jean dating Mikasa makes Eren feel weird. On one hand, it makes perfect sense if they dated and that’s why Jean feels awkward about Eren working with her. On the other hand, Eren finds that doesn’t particularly like the idea of Jean dating Mikasa, but he can’t exactly say why.

Both Reiner and Annie shake their heads.

“It’s because she’s the worst,” Annie says, which only gives Eren more questions than answers.

The zombie opens his mouth and then closes it. He points at Annie, waggling his finger around her. “Okay, what’s the deal with you and Mikasa Ackerman?” he asks. Eren raises an eyebrow curiously. “Did you date her?”

“No, God! Don’t be disgusting. It’s nothing!” Annie says, throwing her hands up. “There’s no deal with me and Mikasa. I just don’t like her! Do I need a reason to dislike someone? Can’t I just dislike them for no reason?”

Eren frowns. It’s not that Annie needs a reason to dislike someone. She hates a majority of people she meets for no real reason. Sometimes there are reasons, but they’re often trivial: someone breathing too hard, someone blinking too much, someone smiling too often. Eren would definitely believe in Annie disliking someone for no reason, but the way she vehemently dislikes Mikasa makes it difficult for Eren to believe that it’s for no particular reason.

“It’s because Mikasa called Mina cute once,” Reiner says. He leans with his shoulder against the wired fence and it creaks slightly from his weight. Even as Annie shoots the schoolteacher a glare, Reiner just smiles back with a lopsided grin, clearly amused. “Mina giggled and Annie was furious for the rest of the night. She’s still mad.”

“That’s not it!” Annie splutters, throwing her hands up. It’s comical how she looks when she’s fuming and bundled up so tightly like a fluffy bundle of yarn. Well, it would be funny if Annie were a less terrifying person. “Why do I have to like her just because everyone else does? I just think she’s overrated, she and her stupid sword and bobbed haircut!”

“You know, most people would consider those things very cool,” Reiner says.

“I don’t!” Annie snaps.

“Okay, so I understand why Annie dislikes her, sort of,” Eren says. He’s mostly lying. Like Reiner, he also finds Mikasa’s sword and bobbed hair very cool. In fact, he finds Mikasa similar to Annie because they are both terrifying but very cool, but it’s not something he wants to say out loud. “But what about Jean? As far as I know, Jean doesn’t have an irrational dislike of swords or bobbed hair.” He ignores Annie, who shoots him a death glare that probably would have killed him if he weren’t already dead.

Reiner’s eyes turn skyward as he thinks. “Mmm, I’m not sure if Jean dislikes her. Isn’t it more that he doesn’t want you to get too friendly with Mikasa?” he asks.

“Well, I guess,” Eren says. Now that he thinks of it, there wasn’t any particular malice in Jean’s voice when he spoke about Mikasa. The makeup artist sounded more irritated than angry. “But why wouldn’t he want me to meet Mikasa?”

Reiner thinks some more. He must think of something because his expression brightens and he says, “Maybe it’s because -”

At that moment, Annie coughs loudly. It’s a fake cough, Eren knows, because Annie has never gotten sick in her entire life. When the zombie turns to look at her, she’s shaking her head with a dark expression on her face but she abruptly stops when she sees Eren watching.

“Why did you do that?” Eren asks.

“Do what? I didn’t do anything,” Annie says, feigning innocence. She grabs Eren a little too tightly around the wrist and tugs him towards her. To Reiner, she says, “Okay, we should let you attend to your students now. Let’s go, Eren.”

Reiner looks as if he’s about to say something else but glances down at his watch and notices that he’s about two minutes late. He bids both Eren and Annie goodbye before rushing towards the classroom and ushering his students inside so that they can begin class. Eren and Annie watch until Reiner has rounded every last kindergartner into his room and shuts the door.

“You know, I may not know why you did that, but I will find out,” Eren says, pointing a finger at Annie.

“Well, good luck with that. I’m sure it’ll go well considering how far you’re getting along investigating your own murder,” Annie says, looking down at Eren’s finger amusedly. She turns her back and begins walking down the sidewalk again. She doesn’t wait to see if Eren is following her, but the zombie does pad along after her after a few beats. “I’m sure you will find out about Mikasa eventually, but I will warn you: you won’t like it.”

“Why? Because you don’t like her?” Eren snorts. With his long legs, it’s quite easy to catch up to Annie. “Is it because we’re friends and you expect me to hate everyone you hate? I hope you know how tiring that is considering how many people you hate.”

Annie rolls her eyes. “Please, I can hate everyone just fine without your help,” she tells him. She walks with her hands held behind her back, her pace slow and relaxed like she’s not in a hurry. Eren wonders if she’s purposely taking her time so that she can come to work late. “I’m just telling you now, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

It sounds ominous and makes Mikasa seem more mysterious than Eren’s first impression of the newcomer. He could ask more questions, but he knows that Annie probably won’t give him a satisfying answer or if she’ll even answer at all. He’s not sure what Annie’s warning is or how helpful it is. What could Mikasa possibly have done to make Eren dislike her when he didn’t even know her prior to becoming a zombie? Maybe if Eren discovered Mikasa was the person responsible for turning him into a zombie, Annie’s warning would make perfect sense but the thought of that just makes Eren snort because there’s just no way. In the end, he decides that it’s just Annie’s dislike of Mikasa that’s causing the blonde to make such negative claims about the journalist.

The two of them end up at the gate of the newspaper building. It feels a little embarrassing for Annie to have walked him the entire way there. It’s like she’s dropped him off at kindergarten, but Eren knows he shouldn’t complain.

“Thanks for walking me here,” Eren mumbles, his feet shuffling on the ground.

“No worries,” Annie says. Her hands are folded across her chest and she looks reluctant to leave him, but Eren doesn’t know if it’s because she’s genuinely concerned about him or because she doesn’t want to go to work. He highly suspects it’s the latter reason. Annie tosses her head so that her bangs are no longer in her eyes and she frowns when she sees the figure standing at the front of the building. “Ugh, your coworker is waiting to greet you, I see. Better not keep her waiting but … just try not to be her friend. Just … be her coworker and keep things professional.”

Weird advice, Eren thinks. “Uhh, okay,” he laughs. He gives Annie an awkward salute and begins to walk towards Mikasa. “I’ll do that. Have a good day, Annie!”

He expects her to leave immediately, but he’s surprised that she watches him until he and Mikasa enter the building.

-------------------------

Being introduced into his new workplace is … strange, to say the least. It’s strange because Mikasa introduces Eren to people who he’s known his whole life, people who had invited him to work with them after they found out he graduated with a degree in journalism but Eren had turned them down in the hopes that something better would soon come his way. Something better never did, but these people still smile at him and welcome him to the office because it’s easier to do that than hold a grudge against someone in a small town.

Mikasa shows him around the small box of an office, introducing him to everyone and laughing easily with them as if she’s the one that had grown up in this small town her whole life and not Eren. It makes Eren a little jealous and he wonders just how much he had missed while he was gone. Mikasa tells him a little bit about the articles they’ve covered in his absence — nothing interesting, just more missing visitors, some news about the pasta place on the street corner getting an honorable mention in a reputable food blog, and a cat that got repeatedly stuck in a tree for two weeks straight. There are, however, a few newspaper articles about Eren, but Mikasa quickly glosses over them as if to save Eren some embarrassment.

“And here’s your desk,” Mikasa says, gesturing to the cube next to hers. It’s a tiny thing, just four walls and a desk with a standard computer and a few cabinets to hold his things. It looks exactly like Mikasa’s. The only difference is that she has a few papers here and there, but her desk is strangely barren. Even their coworkers have a few knick-knacks or pictures to personalize their desks, but Mikasa’s is void of anything that would give a stranger a peek into her personal life. She’s either incredibly private, neat, or boring.

“Ah, thanks,” Eren says. He should probably be excited, but he feels a little tired looking at how dull his desk is. Maybe he should buy a plant to liven up his workspace.

“No problem. It’s a pleasure to be working with you, Eren,” Mikasa says cheerfully. “Even if you did lie to me right when we met.”

A huge pang of guilt hits Eren in the chest. It makes him wince. “Sorry,” he mumbles, and he really is. There isn’t really any good explanation he can give to Mikasa for lying, but she hadn’t asked him about it when he had come in this morning either. Maybe Annie is completely wrong about Mikasa and Eren’s new coworker is just a really nice person who doesn’t care about strange falsehoods. “I … I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have lied. I just … was kind of nervous about returning here. It’s not like my current situation is exactly glamorous.”

Her brown eyes are warm when she smiles. They’re kind, understanding. “Hey, don’t worry. We all have our problems. Let’s just hope this is another good beginning for you and hope for the best,” Mikasa says to Eren. She gestures for Eren to follow her and they begin walking to the supply closet they had passed by earlier. Mikasa throws open the door and starts searching through its contents. Unfortunately, the whole thing is a mess. “I hope you don’t mind getting right down to business today. I’ve wanted to write this article forever, and it’s kind of perfect that you’re here now because you know the hills better than I do.”

“Ah, that’s fine,” Eren says absentmindedly. He starts searching the closet alongside Mikasa, although he’s not exactly sure what they’re looking for. He shoves aside boxes of paper clips and sets a bunch of mismatched folders on the top shelf so that he can look through the shelves better. “What do you have in your article so far?” Eren asks mostly to make small talk, but he realizes that Mikasa might have information that could prove useful to Eren and his friends.

“Mmm, nothing substantial. Just what I told you the other day when we met — people are disappearing here, zombies appear, and your town seems to have an upsetting amount of occurrences compared to other locations that report zombie sightings,” Mikasa replies. She pauses for a minute, biting her lip as if she’s deciding if she should continue. After a moment, she says in a lowered voice, “It could be that … someone is creating zombies on purpose and their prime area of operation is this town.”

Eren blinks. It’s the very same hypothesis that Armin had proposed. If Mikasa thinks it’s a possibility too, maybe Eren and his friends are headed in the right direction.

“Oh, here it is,” Mikasa says. She plucks a camera out from behind boxes of pens and highlighters and plops it into Eren’s hands. She grins at him. “Are you ready for your first field investigation?”

Eren gulps and then nods. Working with Mikasa might bring him even closer to discovering the identity of his murderer and their motives. This job may have been a blessing in disguise.

“Ready,” Eren says.

-------------------------

The trek up the hills is a lot more difficult than Eren remembers. The hills are steeper, the path windier, and the winds chillier. He doesn’t remember it being this tiring walking up the hills even when he had been a child playing in the woods. He thinks it has to do with the fact that he’s lost quite a bit of muscle mass since becoming a zombie, which his many layers of clothing easily disguises. The camera around his neck hangs like a weight that only feels heavier and heavier with every step he takes.

Although Eren seems to be having a difficult time up the mountain, Mikasa seems fine. While Eren drags his feet, Mikasa takes each step as energetically as the last. She’s several steps ahead of him, and Eren’s sure she’ll disappear from view soon if she keeps that same pace. Every once in a while, she’ll turn around and smile at Eren, stopping so that he can catch up a little bit, but then take off again. Clearly, these two-second breaks that she takes are purely for Eren to catch up. Mikasa doesn’t need them to catch her breath at all.

“Have you seen a lot of zombies here since you’ve arrived?” Mikasa asks Eren as they continue up the hill. They’re nearing the top, but Mikasa isn’t the least bit breathless.

I see one every time I look in the mirror, so you could say I see one every day, Eren thinks, but he’s not stupid enough to say it out loud. He watches how Mikasa’s sword dangles from her hip. “I haven’t really … gone out a lot since I’ve come back,” Eren pants. At least he’s not lying. Eren’s been lying to everyone so much lately that he’s always relieved on the few occasions he can tell the truth.

“Mm,” Mikasa hums. For once, she slows her pace and lets Eren catch up to her so that they can walk side-by-side. “Ah, settling in does take time even if you’re returning home. You’ll probably see more zombies soon enough, so it’s probably good you haven’t been out much.”

If she only knew.

Eren wonders if he should put some more distance between himself and Mikasa. It’s always dangerous being around people, and Mikasa is the closest he’s been to a human without his friends around to hold him back. He can’t tell much about her body type — if she’s more lean muscle or if she has a good amount of fat underneath her skin — because he’s only seen her bundled under layers of clothes. He supposes he should be grateful to the chilly fall weather for that. Still, it makes him wonder what he’ll find if he peels back the layers of cotton and wool. Tough muscle like that of a deer? Soft, tender meat like that of a newborn calf? Succulent, juicy flesh like that of a fattened goose? Eren could dream about it all day, but the glimmer of Mikasa’s blade peeking out from its hilt always reminds him that it’s a bad idea.

The top of the hill gives them a decent view of the forest below, but the autumn foliage makes it difficult to see very much. Beyond that lies the town, quiet as it always is. It really is a nice place. If zombies weren’t popping up now and then, Eren would bet people aside from amateur detectives would come here just to experience how charming and quaint it is.

“I think we should go our separate ways here,” Mikasa says to Eren, which surprises him. “You should go and explore one side and take pictures of anything that you find interesting. I’ll let you know if I see anything on the other side. Sound good?”

It doesn’t sound good to Eren. It sounds weird. He thought they would be working on this whole zombie article together, and it makes him nervous that Mikasa would want to work separately. Maybe that’s just how she operates. Maybe she’s an independent collaborator. If so, Eren should just agree and do his best to take pictures. Mikasa doesn’t know him at all, and Eren does not plan on letting her know that he’s a terrible person to have on group projects. He’s going to be a good coworker and do his assigned work even if it means he has to do it alone.

“Sounds good!” Eren says cheerfully.

He had been enthusiastic about getting a job, but the work is a lot less exciting. Yes, Eren wants to find the reason why zombies are somehow drawn to this particular town as much as Mikasa does. Because of his situation, he’s probably even more motivated than Mikasa because finding the reason might also lead him to the person who had killed him and resurrected him as a zombie, but the work is admittedly demoralizing because it’s incredibly difficult to find evidence of zombies.

What is there to capture on camera that hasn’t been seen already? People in this town already know of zombies. They know what zombies do, and they’re hardly threatened. Some people even get dogs to chase zombies off their yard because they can’t be bothered to do it themselves and even a chihuahua does a decent enough job. The things zombies leave behind are even more boring.

Eren doesn’t know what to take pictures of. He takes a few shots of the forest, trying to remember what his professors had said about the rule of thirds and lighting and shutter speed during the few classes he had taken for his photography minor. There’s a picture he takes from a nearby stream that looks rather nice, almost like it can be hung in an office or put on a postcard, but it’s probably not remarkable enough for a local newspaper article about zombies.

Finding photographic evidence of a zombie is pointless though. The few pictures Eren does snap could just be grasping at straws: odd footprints that are dragged out across the dirt path, pieces of fabric caught on the branches of shrubbery, smears of blood against the trunk of a tree. There’s a possible non-zombie explanation for all of this though. The footprints could be from a tired hiker and not from a zombie. Both tend to drag their feet across the ground. The fabric could also be a hiker or maybe even a hunter whose clothes got stuck in a bush. The blood smear is a little more exciting, but it’s possible that it came from an injured animal or someone who fell during a hike. These photographs are so pathetic that Eren would rather lie and say he didn’t capture anything at all than show them to Mikasa.

Eren does entertain the thought of telling Mikasa he had managed to take no photographs. It would just be another small lie piled up on his ever-growing pile. Considering how many lies he’s told so far, adding another one shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but it still makes him feel bad.

What makes things worse is that Mikasa has been nothing but nice to him. He still has no idea why Jean and Annie want him to stay away from Mikasa so much. From what he can tell, Mikasa is a decent person. She gave him his first job, didn’t say very much about him lying to her, and entrusted him to work with her on a project she’s excited about. Telling her that he didn’t get any work done wouldn’t feel bad just because he’d be lying to her again, but Eren would also feel like he let her down by helping her progress her work.

Eren frowns as he flips through the photos on his camera. He wonders if he should delete them. It’s probably what Jean and Annie would do since they’re so opposed to Mikasa, but what would Armin do?

Armin is a worrywart, first and foremost. Getting too involved with Mikasa and risking her knowing that Eren is actually a zombie is definitely something to avoid. Mikasa probably won’t hesitate to kill Eren if the sword swinging from her hip is anything to go by. But then again … Mikasa seems quite smart and driven from what Eren has seen of her. If she’s out to find the reason for the zombies cropping up in this town, then he does not doubt that she’ll find something and any information could prove useful in his own investigation into the matter. After careful consideration, Eren is quite certain that Armin would willingly work with Mikasa and only withhold the necessary details, like the fact that Eren is actually a zombie, but anything that helps Mikasa helps the greater good.

Eren turns his head and opens his mouth to call for Mikasa, but he hears her call his name first.

“Eren!” Mikasa’s voice rings loudly through the forest. It’s enough to make the birds take flight from the trees where they had previously rested, their wings fluttering as the trees shake and leaves rustle. “Eren, come here!”

“Coming!” Eren calls back. He follows her voice, which leads him off the path towards the other side of the hill. Eren wonders what she could have seen. He hopes it’s not another zombie. He doesn’t know what he would do if he came face-to-face with another one of his kind in his current state. For a brief moment, he thinks she might have seen the carcass of an unfortunate hiker that had stumbled across a zombie. The thought horrifies Eren, but the fact that his stomach growls from just the idea horrifies him even more.

As he gets closer, Eren’s steps become a little slower, a little more cautious. He really doesn’t want to see what Mikasa had stumbled upon. He closes his eyes. The zombie takes another tentative step, sniffing the air for anything unusual. The stench of rotting flesh doesn’t fill the air. The smell of sweet blood doesn’t waft to his nostrils. It really just smells like … the crisp fall air.

Eyes open now, Eren takes a few more steps and sees Mikasa with her back turned towards him. She’s looking at something, and Eren’s eyes slowly follow her gaze to … a large hole in the ground. It’s a very familiar hole, Eren realizes, because it’s the same one he dug when he had crawled out of the ground.

“It’s quite deep,” Mikasa murmurs. She drops down to inspect it closer, reaching down to touch the dirt. She gathers some in her hand and lets it fall from her fingers. “I would say .. six feet deep. That’s deep enough to bury a body.”

“Ah, do you really think so?” Eren asks. He kicks at the ground, knocking some dirt into the hole as if doing so would undo what he did. “It looks a little bit shallower than that. Maybe like … five feet and … six … inches?” He sounds like an idiot and he knows it, but he can’t help. He’s afraid that Mikasa will somehow figure out the truth: that this hole isn’t just any hole, but an Eren-shaped hole that he had popped out of when he had come back from the dead. Granted, the shape isn’t anything like him. It’s all in his head. In reality, the hole is kind of a blob shape because he hadn’t been very neat when he had dug himself out.

“No, it’s deep deep,” Mikasa says. She stands up and brushes her hands off. The reporter takes a moment to observe the curious hole and then gestures at it. “Take a few pictures of this at different angles. We should probably report this, whatever this is.”

“Er, okay,” Eren says as he fumbles for his camera. It takes him far too long to focus the lens and find the right button to snap the pictures. “What do you think … what do you think this is?” he asks nervously.

Mikasa gives him a smile. “Are you sure you want to hear? Fair warning: I’m going to sound like a conspiracy theorist,” Mikasa says.

“N-no,” Eren stammers. “I want to know.” It’s not really that he wants to know. He’s afraid of just what Mikasa knows, but he also needs to know what thoughts are floating around her head.

“I think this is where zombies come from,” Mikasa says simply. She kicks a little bit towards the hole. “I’ve been doing some research … I believe this is part of the process of turning people into zombies. I know people here don’t really think about it but … the pattern between missing persons and zombies that appear are striking. It’s not just the fact that zombies oftentimes wear the same clothing that was last seen on people who were reported missing, but the time frame between when people go missing to when they’re … zombies, I guess you could call them, is pretty consistent. It’s about a year.”

“A-a year?” Eren gulps. He hopes Mikasa doesn’t put two and two together. He hopes she hadn’t read the papers about him going missing in the local newspaper archives. He hopes she believes his lie about taking off suddenly without letting anybody in town know. He hopes she doesn’t remember the fact that he was gone for approximately a year.

“Mmm, yeah. A year,” Mikasa says with a nod. “I think these holes are … well, this is the first one I’ve seen, but maybe there are more like it.”

“You think there are more?” Eren asks. The thought makes sense. He doesn’t know why it hadn’t occurred to him sooner.

“I think if we dig around we’ll find out, but I doubt the townspeople would be happy about digging up the hills just to find out if zombies pop out of the ground,” Mikasa laughs. She looks thoughtful again, her head slightly tilted as she continues to piece together points Eren can’t quite see yet. “I think maybe … the process of becoming a zombie requires that a person dies, be buried in the ground, and be reanimated. Maybe the reanimation steps are a bit more complicated. Maybe it’s something that happens before the body is buried and takes place while the … body is buried underground.”

It’s sounding awfully familiar. Eren should be thrilled. Some of these things Mikasa is bringing forth are the same things Armin had also said during their meetings. The one-year gap between missing persons reports and their corresponding zombie appearance is new, though. It’s definitely something he should mention at the next meeting or even bring up in the group chat, but Eren can’t help thinking that the more information Mikasa gathers about zombies, the closer she is to figuring out that Eren is a zombie too.

-------------------------

Thankfully, Eren and Mikasa don’t run into anything else interesting in the hills. It’s disappointing for Mikasa, but it’s a relief to Eren. It’s difficult to hide just how happy he is about how the day ended up. He was able to take some compelling (at least to Mikasa) pictures without giving himself away, and his zombie grave was interesting enough that he didn’t have to show Mikasa the other pathetic pictures he took earlier. Maybe the standards he has for himself are low, but Eren would say that he’s currently killing it at his new job.

“I honestly expect this piece to be rejected,” Mikasa confesses as they’re walking back to the office. “I think the evidence is compelling, but it does sound like a piece that belongs to one of those fake science newspapers.”

As dangerous as it is to have Mikasa discovering more about zombies and potentially finding out the truth about him, Eren knows discouraging her work only slows his own investigation so he gives her a small smile and says, “It’s zombies. Reanimated corpses that don’t have any business walking the earth. Anything you propose is going to sound ridiculous, but you have a better hypothesis than most people. I think it’s worth a shot to put it out there.”

Mikasa looks surprised for a second and then smiles. “Thanks, Eren. That’s very kind of you.”

The two walk together in silence, crisp autumn leaves crunching beneath the soles of their boots. Mikasa doesn’t say much else as they return to the office. Occasionally, she’ll comment about the town — about a shop she finds particularly charming or a townsperson she bumped into the other day — and Eren will respond with an anecdote of his.

“I hope you had a good first day,” Mikasa says once they return to the office. She’s putting away her things, hiding them in the cabinets in her cubicle. Her desk is just as spotless as it was this morning. “I certainly had a good time working with you, Eren.”

“Ah, thank you,” Eren says. He feels relieved that he’s gone through his first day without anything happening. He can’t wait to come home and rub it in Jean’s face. “It was nice working with you too.” He wonders if he should put the camera away for tonight and think about editing the pictures tomorrow. He could just do it tonight. He probably won’t get overtime, but it might be good to do a little extra work these first few weeks to show Mikasa he’s serious about this job. Then again, he doesn’t want to seem too eager in case his coworkers take advantage of him in the future. With a frown, Eren tucks the camera in the cabinet underneath his desk. When he looks up, he sees Mikasa looking at him.

“Hey,” she says. The reporter is leaning against the walls that separate their cubes. “Do you want to grab dinner together tonight? My treat.”

“Er.” Eren squirms, uncomfortable. He doesn’t want to say no, but saying yes would just be … stupid even for him. It’s not like he can waltz into any restaurant and devour the same foods everyone else can. He’s about to shake his head and politely decline, but Mikasa is flipping through her phone.

“Is Korean barbecue good?” she asks. She raises her head, tilting it slightly as she awaits Eren’s answer. “There’s a place … well, I guess you know. If you’d rather go somewhere else, I’m open to it.”

“N-no,” Eren says, surprised. Korean barbecue sounds good. Perfect, even. “That sounds … I’d like to go. Let me just … I need to tell my friend. Boyfriend. He’s picking me up.” At that moment, his phone buzzes and he winces. He knows without looking that it’s Jean. They did agree to Jean picking him up, but he didn’t think Jean would be so … punctual.

Mikasa grins as Eren pulls out his phone. “Is he here already?” Mikasa asks. “You should invite him. I’ll invite my girlfriend too. She just happens to be in town this week.”

“Ah, it’s okay,” Eren says hurriedly. He knows Jean would never agree to this. Not only is it a dinner with someone unaware of his true condition, but it’s a dinner with Mikasa of all people. Jean, for whatever reason, would absolutely hate this. “I’ll just tell him to, ah, go home without me. He probably wouldn’t want to eat with us -”

The doors to the office burst open and Jean storms in, the tail of his trench coat flapping behind him. The makeup artist pays no attention to the stares of Eren’s coworkers. He pauses for just a moment to scan the room and, upon spotting Eren, marches right up to the zombie’s cubicle.

“Eren, come on,” he says through gritted teeth. He sounds angry, but Eren can tell from Jean’s rigid stance and folded arms that the makeup artist is anxious. “I thought you said you would be out by now.”

“Ah, I invited him out to dinner,” Mikasa says from behind Jean. Jean turns to look at her, surprised, and Mikasa gives him a friendly wave that Jean doesn’t return. Jean might dislike Mikasa, but it seems like the feeling is one-sided. Mikasa taps Jean on the shoulder. “You can come with us if you’d like. It’s really my way of thanking Eren for joining the team and being such a good coworker on his first day. He’s really great. I’m looking forward to working with him long-term.”

“Y-you do?” Eren stammers. He didn’t think he did a very good job. To have Mikasa tell him that he did well makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside. He looks eagerly at Jean. “It’s fine if I have dinner with her just this once, right? Mikasa invited me and I did a good job today so …” His voice trails off. He expects Jean to say no. After all, he had warned Eren to avoid Mikasa as much as possible.

“Fine,” Jean finally says. When Eren looks at him, Jean’s shoulders are slumped in defeat. His eyebrows are still knit together and Eren can tell that Jean doesn’t like the idea one bit, but it doesn’t matter. Jean said he could go, so Eren is going to that dinner. “But I’m coming with you,” Jean says firmly.

Eren begins to whine. “You don’t have to babysit me,” he begins, but Jean isn’t listening.

“Yes, I do,” Jean replies. There’s something authoritative in his voice. It makes Eren’s toes curl and his cheeks flush, but it might be because Jean’s busily rewrapping the zombie’s scarf around his neck.

“Cute,” Mikasa says as she distractedly checks her phone. She taps something on it before tucking it back into the pocket of her coat. “Let’s head over then. My girlfriend said she’d meet us there.”

-------------------------

The meat at the barbecue house is much better than Eren remembers. It’s strange, but becoming a zombie has given him a much more refined palate when it comes to eating meat. He can tell if poultry is free-range with just a taste, if cows were fed more than just corn for their diet before they were slaughtered, and if pigs were allowed to roam and scavenge for food instead of just eating feed before they were turned to bacon. He tries to explain this to his friends at times, but they never really get it. To them, meat is just meat. Sometimes, Eren can’t believe he had once lived as ignorantly as them.

Mikasa sits across the table and observes as Jean feeds Eren another piece of barely cooked meat. She looks at him curiously. “You like your meat rare, Eren?” Her tone isn’t judgemental in the least, but it still makes Eren nervous.

“Y-yeah.” Eren forgets to chew the last piece of beef and accidentally swallows it too early. It gets stuck in his throat halfway and he starts to choke. He begins to pound on his chest to free his windpipe but a glass of water appears in front of him. Eren takes it and eagerly drinks it until the beef goes down.

“It’s a taste he acquired when he was traveling,” Jean says. Unlike Eren, he hasn’t eaten much. He’s eaten a few well-cooked pieces here and there, but he’s mostly been feeding Eren and ordering more food from the menu when their plates begin to empty.

“Ah, interesting,” Mikasa says as she nibbles on a piece of Hawaiian pork belly. Even though the meat glistens with fat, Eren can’t stand the sweet marinade that coats it and the pineapples that come with the slices of pork belly. It’s just too … sacrilegious to ruin a piece of meat like that. Eren doesn’t know how Mikasa is able to continuously eat piece after piece of that tainted pork belly.

Eren laughs nervously and puts his hands in his lap. He fiddles with the buttons on his coat. As much as he wants to shove the beef tongue that had just arrived into his mouth, he knows he shouldn’t. He needs to appear normal. He clears his throat. “When is your girlfriend coming?” Eren asks with a slight wince. He shouldn’t have eaten so much when Mikasa’s girlfriend hasn’t even arrived yet.

“Should be any minute,” Mikasa says. She puts a piece of meat on Jean’s plate and gestures for him to eat too. Jean, however, doesn’t even bother to crack a smile. “You guys should just eat up. She really won’t mind.”

Jean pushes the pork belly around his plate with his chopsticks. He doesn’t make any move to pick it up or eat it. “We might head out soon if you don’t mind. I have to be out early tomorrow and Eren likes to prep at night,” Jean says. He doesn’t make any eye contact with Mikasa. “We’ve had more than enough to eat already.”

A whine begins at the back of Eren’s throat but Jean subtly stomps on the zombie’s toes and the sound dies midway.

“Yeah, we should get going,” Eren squeaks as he hunches over in pain.

“Ah, alright then,” Mikasa says with a frown. She doesn’t notice that someone is walking up behind her and doesn’t notice until the person has thrown their arms around her waist. Mikasa looks up in surprise. “Historia!”

The name makes the blood freeze in Eren’s veins. He takes a better look at the woman who has thrown her arms around his new coworker and finds that it is indeed his ex-girlfriend. She still has the same large blue eyes and heart-shaped face, same petite frame and golden blonde hair, same pale pink lips and a cupid’s bow that looks as if it were sculpted by a god. There are things that are different about her since Eren had seen her last: her hair falls down to her shoulder blades instead of at her shoulders, her face is a bit thinner, and she wears an ensemble suited to that of a strict businesswoman when previously her wardrobe was hyper-feminine. It’s so … strange to bump into her like this.

Eren stumbles up from his seat in surprise. “Historia,” he says even as Jean is tugging at his sleeve and hissing at him to sit down. “What are you doing here?” He knows that his friends have mentioned Historia had given up on him after he had disappeared for a year, but he still feels the need to run a hand through his hair. He hopes his makeup hasn’t smudged and that he doesn’t look too unkempt.

Historia’s arms fall away from Mikasa’s waist and she looks at Eren. She doesn’t seem to recognize him at first, eyes narrowing at him as she tries to place exactly where she had seen him, and then her eyes widen in recognition. “Eren?” Her head turns towards Mikasa so quickly that Eren’s surprised that her neck hasn’t snapped. “You didn’t tell me Eren was your new coworker. Or that he came back to town.”

“I thought it would be a nice surprise,” Mikasa says. She pulls out the chair beside her and gestures for Historia to take a seat. Once Historia sits down, Mikasa rubs gentle circles on the blonde’s lower back. “Aren’t you glad he’s alive?”

Eren falls back in his seat in shock, too stunned to pay attention to the conversation Mikasa is having with Historia. He lowers his head and mumbles to Jean, “What the fuck is Historia doing here?”

“I tried to warn you not to hang around Mikasa,” Jean says in a low voice so that only Eren can hear. His teeth are gritted together in a pained smile. “In case you haven’t connected the dots … Historia is the girlfriend Mikasa has been talking about.”

It all makes sense now, Eren thinks, why Jean had wanted Eren to avoid the field reporter so desperately. Whenever Eren had asked if Jean had dated Mikasa or had any romantic interest in her, Jean and his friends had vehemently denied it. Eren had thought they were lying to him but he realizes now that it was because they were telling the truth — and also hiding a more shocking secret about Mikasa from him. Eren would be angry, but he’s too stunned to feel anything but numb.

“Well, it’s good to see you, Eren. I’m relieved to see that you’re alright,” Historia says, but it’s as if she’s talking underwater. Eren can barely register what she’s saying.

“He went on a spontaneous trip, he said,” Mikasa explains as she begins to feed Historia a strip of pork belly that was still sizzling from the grill.

“Oh?” Historia sits closer to the edge of her seat. It looks as if she’s about to ask for details, but Jean is standing up and ushering Eren out of his seat.

“We’ll fill you up on the details another night, Historia. We have to head out right now, but it was nice meeting you.” Jean wraps an arm firmly around Eren’s waist and subtly guides him towards the exit. “Lovely seeing you as always. Let’s do this again sometime.” He doesn’t wait for the couple to respond before he hurries Eren out the door.

The only sound as they walk is the clomp of their boots against the sidewalk. Eren can’t begin to ask the questions running through his head. He knows that even if he did, Jean would be in no mood to answer them. This entire scenario is what Jean had been trying to avoid in the first place. Eren knows that Jean is just waiting for them to return home so the first thing that comes out of his mouth is “I told you so.” It comes as a total surprise when those aren’t the first words Jean says to him.

“Are you okay?” Jean asks as they make their way back.

“I’m … fine,” Eren says even though he isn’t remotely okay. He knows that his tone is far from convincing, but he doesn’t want to dive into this tonight. “Can we stop by the office? I want to grab my camera and edit some of my pictures tonight.”

“You don’t want to rest?” Jean asks. He leans forward and tries to get a better look at Eren’s face, but the zombie pulls his scarf over his face.

“I’m not that tired,” Eren mumbles into his scarf. That isn’t a lie, not really. He could sleep if he wanted, but he’d rather stare at the screen and click mindlessly, making minuscule edits to his photos that people will barely notice. It would help distract him from all the thoughts swirling through his head at least.

It’s been rough returning here. Everyone Eren runs into is a reminder of everything he’s missed since he disappeared. His friends seem perfectly content with living in their small town even though all Eren had ever talked about after college was finding a job in the big city and moving away. His mother looks older and smaller than he remembers even though she had stayed the same all his life. Even Historia had changed, moved on with someone else while Eren was buried in the ground. How had everyone continued to live while he was frozen six feet under?

“It’s not like I expected everyone to wait for me while I was gone. I know it’s not anyone’s fault,” Eren says when they reach the gates of the newspaper building. His hands are balled up in frustration. “But … you don’t know what it’s like to lose everything so suddenly and come back to see that everything has changed.”

Jean stops in his tracks and when Eren looks back he sees the makeup artist with a stunned expression on his face. “Eren,” Jean says. He almost seems … hurt. “We lost you. For an entire year.”

Eren doesn’t have a response to that. He fiddles with the end of his scarf uncomfortably and then ducks his head before hurrying into the office. Thankfully, Jean doesn’t follow him.

The office is empty when Eren flicks the lights on. He mumbles to himself as he walks down the row of cubicles, muttering about what a terrible night this has been. Just when he was feeling normal, Historia showed up and reminded him that he’s not normal and that he can never return to where he once was. He doesn’t even want to think about everything that could have been if he hadn’t gotten murdered that night: if he could have found a job outside of this town, if he could have moved into the city, if he and Historia could have still been together. It’s useless anyway.

Eren finds his empty cube and pulls open one of the drawers, riffling around its contents with one hand. Oddly, there are papers he doesn’t remember placing in his cabinet. He takes another look and realizes that it’s not his cube, but Mikasa’s that he’s wandered into. Their cubicles really look too similar because Eren’s is practically empty and Mikasa has no personal items on her desk to differentiate it from Eren’s.

The zombie is about to shut the drawer and grab his camera at his desk, but something in the back corner of the drawer catches his attention. Curious, Eren reaches for it and pulls out a cell phone. He thinks it’s strange because he distinctly remembers Mikasa using her phone at the restaurant earlier that night. He turns the phone in his hand and the thought that this phone is somehow familiar to him flashes through his mind. He glances at the screen and sees a crack on it that looks exactly like the one on his old phone. The phone he had lost when he had been murdered in the forest.

But how would Mikasa have my phone? Eren thinks. The idea is so bizarre that Eren is about to put the phone back where he had seen it, but then … Mikasa is new in town. She’s only been here for a year at most. Even if everyone else knows her … how well do they really know someone who has only been here a year?

Eren’s hands hover over the power button and, hands shaking, presses it down with his thumb. The screen lights up as it powers on and a few seconds later the lock screen appears. It’s a forest that looks exactly like a picture Eren took hiking once. That has to be a coincidence though. All forests look the same … right?

The phone asks for his fingerprint. Eren’s almost too scared to scan his finger. If it does turn out to be his phone, this only implies that his murderer is … But that’s impossible, Eren thinks. He hadn’t known Mikasa when he died. She would have no reason to kill him. He’s just being paranoid and he can prove that he’s just overthinking all of this strange coincidence with Mikasa and her phone that looks exactly like his old one if he just presses his index finger to the scanner and ...

It unlocks, much to Eren’s surprise. It has all of his old apps on there including Angry Birds which he stopped playing in high school and only kept installed for nostalgia. It’s his phone. And Mikasa had it. And there really isn’t any explanation for it except one.

“Eren?”

Eren drops the phone back into the drawer and slams it shut. When he turns around, he sees Mikasa walking towards him with a confused smile on her face.

“What are you doing here?” she asks.

Eren stands up and stumbles out of her cubicle. “Er, n-nothing!” Eren quickly goes to his cube and pretends to rifle through his few belongings before pulling his camera out of his drawer. “I just … changed my mind and wanted to work on some of my photos tonight. Just wanted to … be productive.”

“Oh, you’re so hardworking. I actually left some papers I wanted to look over tonight too,” Mikasa laughs as she goes into her own cubicle and pulls open the cabinet that Eren had gone through only a few minutes before. She frowns when she sees the phone out of place, but she shoves it back into the drawer and pulls out some papers instead. Mikasa shoves the papers into her bag and smiles at Eren. She doesn’t seem to see the perspiration forming on his forehead or his nervous, rigid stance. “Well, we should head home so we can rest. Don’t work too hard.”

“Haha, yeah,” Eren laughs, but it sounds so forced.

The two walk out together and Eren finds Jean chatting politely with Historia. While it might have bothered him earlier, Eren is too preoccupied with his new finding to pay any attention to his ex-girlfriend right now. He’ll worry about it later. Right now, he has to tell Jean something.

He hardly bids the two women goodbye, instead tugging his fake boyfriend by the sleeve and walking hastily towards their apartment.

“Eren, I know you’re upset, but that was really rude,” Jean hisses, but he allows Eren to pull at his sleeve and doesn’t pry the zombie’s hand off. Jean had attempted to wave goodbye, but it wasn’t enough to ward away the amused glances that Historia and Mikasa shot each other as the zombie and makeup artist hurried home.

“This is important!” Eren insists, still pulling Jean. “But I can’t tell you here.”

Jean only sighs and allows Eren to lead him to their apartment. At their quick pace, it only takes them a few minutes to get there and Jean sighs tiredly as soon as they’re inside.

The makeup artist shrugs off his coat and hangs it on the coat rack. He begins to unbutton Eren’s coat too, but Eren doesn’t even move his shoulders back to make it easier for Jean to peel the coat off. “Can you …? Ugh,” Jean huffs as he moves Eren’s arms himself and pulls the coat off. “What is it that you wanted to tell me anyway?”

“I think,” Eren says, tugging at the end of his scarf nervously. He takes a deep breath and tries again. Jean is busy trying to unwind the scarf around Eren’s neck but the zombie puts his hands firmly on Jean’s shoulders so that he has all of the makeup artist’s attention. “I think … I think Mikasa killed me.”

#erejean #zombie detective au #eren jaeger #jean kirstein #snk #htbaz series #how to be a zombie series

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seattlesea · 3 years

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Lorien Legacies Characters + Voices

One: -Has a slight California accent after spending so much time there -Uses basic surfer slang and overexaggerates it sometimes (gnarly dude!) -Also uses modern slang a lot -Has a light, clear, pleasant, smooth, level, soft, and sultry voice -Doesn’t talk too loud or too quiet, usually at the right volume unless she’s excited, then she’s at max volume and makes peoples’ ears bleed -Gets voice cracks and sounds deeper when she’s upset or angry and half the time it’s sad and the other half the time it’s scary -Says ‘hella’ and curses a lot -Sounds fierce and enraged when she’s yelling and it’s terrifying, she sounds wild and untamed -Uses casual words and grammar, nothing too complicated or difficult -Sounds like what silk and cotton candy feel like -Talks kind of slow, but when she’s talking about something she’s passionate about she talks at a mile a minute -Her natural voice is really calming, especially when she’s tired or relaxed, like water splashing on rocks -At night her voice is so low and soothing it’s like star-gazing at three in the morning -Sounds really lazy at times -Gets a little rasp when she’s been yelling too much and it’s awesome -Has a raucous and husky but really contagious laugh

Maggie: -Has a slight Irish accent that gets clearer the louder her voice gets -Has a light, clear, pleasant, gentle, really soft, sotto, silvery, small, and kind of high voice -Mutters in different languages a lot (the others don’t know she’s cursing) -Stutters and uses ‘uh’ and ‘um’ a lot -Talks kind of slow and hesitant at first, but once she warms up to people she talks way too fast and excitedly -And by ‘way too fast’ I mean way too fast, like the girl needs to slow down, barely anyone can understand her. She’s also super talkative to the point of annoying -Sometimes her voice gets raspy when she’s been raising her voice too much (which is rarely, her voice is usually at a good volume) but rarely gets raspy when she’s talking normally since she’s used to talking a lot -Instead of getting shaky or shrill when she’s scared, her voice gets firm and tight -Uses really big, descriptive words some people don’t even understand and has a very extensive vocabulary -Sounds dreamy and starry-eyed, like she’s always fantasizing something and it’s really relaxing and pleasant to listen to -Kind of sounds like what stars would look like if you could see them during the day -Her voice is so soothing and peaceful the others don’t mind when she reads out loud and aren’t scared to admit they allow a 12 year old to read to them -Sounds fiery and harsh when she’s yelling, it’s a lot more loud and commanding than people expect to come from a small 12 year old -When she’s tired she sounds wistful and drags most of her words -And when she’s sad her voice gets really shaky and brittle like she’s always on the verge of breaking down and it’s heart-breaking -Has a soft and cute laugh that’s really quiet, she giggles more than laughs -Sounds like what lace, dreams, and pearls look like -Uses perfect grammar and corrects everyone else a lot

Hannu: -Has a thick Kenyan accent -His voice is deep, strong, fruity, pleasant, thick, soft, and smooth -Uses casual but perfect grammar -Also uses older slang he picked up from his Cêpan -Sounds harsh and loud when he’s yelling, which is rare -His voice is really level and placid, it’s almost lulling -Sounds deeper and shaky and breathes really heavily when he’s upset or scared -Uses nicknames a lot, he likes shortening people’s names as much as he can just for the heck of it -He pronounces things wrong often. He can speak every language fluently but frequently pronounces certain words wrong -Likes short and simple words everyone can understand -Mirrors people often, his voice will change depending on whom he’s been talking to the most -Has a really deep and rich voice that sounds like it’s resonating and everyone loves it -And has a low and sweet laugh that’s really nice to hear -Sounds like what melted chocolate and coffee look like -Drags some of his words and talks at a leisurely pace, he likes taking his time -Never curses no matter the situation -When he’s happy his voice gets higher and brighter -Talks at a nice, steady pace that’s easy to follow along to -Anyone can tell what he’s feeling by his voice, he never bothers to hide it and his voice is always full of emotions

John: -Has a moderate Ohioan accent that Nine mocks a lot -Uses a lot of Ohioan slang as well -Has a fruity, pleasant, gravelly, honeyed, strong, and appealing voice that’s more on the deep side -Sounds booming and assertive when he’s yelling, it’s basically him getting in his Leader Mode™ -Has a deep and resonant laugh that’s really cute (though no one would admit it) -Sounds brittle, low, and serious when he’s upset like he’s about to cry even when he isn’t -Never stutters, he’s learned enough about lying to get the whole talking thing down -Uses casual but good grammar and basic, everyday words, nothing too flashy or complicated -His voice is really nice to listen to especially when he’s comforting someone, it gets really soft and as fragile as glass -Sounds like what deep water looks like and what feathers feel like -Also sounds really soulful, his voice is always thick and full of emotion so it’s easy to tell what he’s feeling by the way he talks, even if he tries to hide it -Says phrases from a bunch of different states in the U.S, so sometimes his sentences are blurs of city slang barely anyone can understand -Since he spends half his time shouting orders or yelling at the other Garde (especially Nine) for doing dumb shit, by the end of the day his voice is always super husky and low -When he’s really tired he talks so slowly, it’s like going down a lazy river, though sometimes it’s annoying cause he takes so damn long to say a single sentence -His voice gets sharp and grating when he’s angry. When he starts sounding like the way cut steel looks like you know you effed up

Five: -Has hints of a few different islander accents that Ella jokes make him sound like a pirate (that and his missing eye definitely give off that impression) -His voice is on the deeper side but not as deep as the other guys’ -Has a gruff, husky, throaty, gravelly, and sometimes monotonous voice. He can sound completely dead and toneless if he wants -He sounds harsh and raucous when he’s yelling, it’s very rough, loud, and grating -When he’s angry he sounds wild and fierce, almost frantic -Uses simple words and calls people by their last names a lot, but never calls people by their numbers -He’ll never admit it when he’s scared, but it’s easy to tell from his voice which gets really tremulous and frail -Sometimes stutters, but never lets himself stutter when talking to people he doesn’t like -His voice when talking to people he doesn’t know or like is cold and hostile- mostly emotionless- but when he’s talking to people he does it’s completely different, it’s soft and sweet and gentle and it’s low-key adorable -Has a sharp and croaky laugh that makes it sound like it’s a fake laugh but it’s usually real (unless it’s a sarcastic laugh) -Curses quite a bit, though not as much as others. Usually it’s just under his breath or when he’s yelling, but not in daily conversation -The way his voice sounds changes depending on who he’s talking to. Usually it sounds like what tires on gravel sound like, sometimes like what steel and ice feel like, and other times like flowers and fluffy clouds -Always has planned-out wording, he hates being unprepared, even if it’s with things as simple as a conversation -So generally he hates talking to really spontaneous people who change the topic a lot unless it’s someone talkative whom he likes, then he just lets them do the talking and he listens in (really well, may I add)

Six: -Has a ranging accent from various places -But her most prominent accent is her Italian one, which gets louder as she yells -And because of her Italian accent, she pronounces her ‘i’s like ‘e’ and she hates it -Has a sultry, smooth, smoky, firm, level, and husky voice, and it’s really deep, deeper than John’s and all the other females -Sounds toneless most of the time but when she’s comfortable or relaxed, she allows others to tell what she’s feeling through her voice (and expression) -Sounds ardent and fiery when she’s yelling. Her voice is so commanding most people would listen to her without thinking -When she’s been talking to much she gets a rasp in her voice that sounds awesome -Since she’s usually so blunt and has learned to hide her emotions, you can barely tell when she’s angry, but she sounds harsh and brash when she’s angry enough -And because of this, you can also rarely tell when she’s scared but if she’s scared enough her voice will get low and quavery and it’s terrifying to hear cause when Six is scared enough to show it, you know the situation is bad -Has a light and silvery laugh that’s rare but nice to hear from her -She doesn’t have many passions outside of the war so when she finds some hobbies after it’s over, she talks really fast and sounds so eager and excited whenever she talks about it -Never stutters or uses ‘uh’ or ‘um’, she usually has her voice under control -Most of the time she sounds like a basic soldier- strong, firm, sturdy, flat, and assertive, like she’s taking orders from a general -Talks at a level, steady pace and uses kind of lengthy, sophisticated words -Sounds like what lightning and thunder look and feel like (pun intended) -Will curse now and then. It’s not a normal thing for her but not surprising when she does it, either

Marina: -Has a moderate Spanish accent from her lengthy time at Santa Teresa -Uses Spanish slang a lot, too -Has a thick, emotional, pleasant, smooth, soft, sweet, and velvety voice -Her voice isn’t too high or too deep, it’s right in the middle and sounds great -Sounds strident and forceful when she’s yelling. She sounds like the verbal personification of trying to push against a wall -She sounds bitter and wobbly when she’s upset or scared -Her natural voice is so gentle and soothing and lovely, hearing it is like getting a warm verbal mom hug and she makes a great comforter because of it -People love hearing her voice because of this -She gets a slight rasp when she’s been yelling cause she’s not used to it -Sometimes stutters, usually when she’s talking about something she’s passionate about cause it’s the only time she won’t talk at a slow, calm pace -Her voice is so peaceful and serene most people who are mad will calm down just at the sound of her voice -Sounds like what vanilla looks like and what velvet feels like -Uses good grammar and wise, knowledgeable words -Has a soft and warm laugh that’s really irresistible and others love hearing it -Uses platonic-friendship pet names like ‘Dolly’, ‘Buttercup’, and ‘Teacup’ -Mutters and curses under her breath in Spanish a lot, especially when she’s exasperated with the other Garde (usually Nine) -When she’s tired her voice gets really deep and sleepy, almost as deep as John’s

Eight: -Has a thick Indian accent after being there for so long -Also speaks Sanskrit fluently and will often switch to it mid-sentence without realizing it -Has a thick, smooth, clear, appealing, husky, fruity, honeyed, and soft voice -His voice is deeper than John and Five’s but not as deep as Nine’s, on par with and deeper than Six’s when he’s tired -Sounds low and guttural when he’s angry, he practically growls -Makes random animal noises at the most random moments thanks to his shape-shifting -When he’s scared or sad his voice turns really soft and delicate, like he could break if you so much as blow in his direction -Uses nicknames (funny and normal) and pet names a lot. Usually pet names are for Marina but he’ll often jokingly flirt with John and Nine -Sounds violent and sharp when he’s yelling, like the way the edge of a sword looks like, and since he rarely yells, it’s pretty scary coming from him -Has a bright and cheerful laugh that’s the personification of sunshine and happiness, it’s great and often lifts the mood of everyone who hears it -Sounds like sugar and what a fuzzy, warm blanket feels like -He naturally talks really fast- sometimes even faster than Maggie- so he pronounces a lot of words wrong, though he never minds -Really likes watching movies and reading so steals a lot of signature phrases from characters -So he’ll be throwing things like ‘Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn’ into daily conversation and no one but Maggie and Sam understand the references

Nine: -Has a heavy Chicago-city accent -Has a gravelly, husky, strong, fruity, gruff, attractive, and low voice -His voice is deeper than John’s but not as deep as people would expect (Six and Eight’s voices are deeper) -Uses Chicago slang a lot and since it changes so often, it confuses the others so much they’ve stopped bothering to ask what something means -Like one day he’ll keep saying ‘finna’ and has to explain what it means then a few weeks later he’ll start saying ‘I like the drip’ and the others are so exasperated trying to keep up -Drags his words a lot, he talks at a slow, easygoing pace but sometimes talks so slowly it’s low-key irritating -Uses nicknames a lot, like calling Five ‘Hobbit’ or Ella ‘Squirt’ -Doesn’t care too much about having an extensive vocabulary but started using decent grammar after Maggie kept correcting him (she eventually gave up with all the Chicago slang, though) -Sounds booming and assertive when he’s yelling, he honestly has one of the most scary yelling voices besides Adam. It’s strong and fierce and dominant and everyone knows not to mess with him when he’s pissed -Talks SUPER LOUDLY LIKE TYPING IN ALL CAPS, the others have to remind him to lower his voice on a daily basis -Sounds ferocious and forceful when he’s angry, like the verbal form of a wildfire -Would never admit he’s scared unless it’s to people he’s really close with but sometimes it’s obvious through his voice, which gets shaky and heavy -Has a slight rasp that makes his voice sound more hoarse -Sounds like what caramel and melted marshmallows look like -Has a deep and pleasant laugh that’s really low and always genuine and melodious and rich -Curses a lot, the most out of everyone

Ella: -Has hints of a Scottish accent -Has a high, soft, sweet, slightly raspy, silvery, honeyed, and sotto voice -Overall her voice is really cute -Uses actress slang like ‘room tone’ and ‘back to one’ -Also uses good grammar and either really simple, basic words or sophisticated ones, not as knowledgeable or extensive as Maggie’s but pretty advanced for her age -Sounds brittle and thin when she’s upset and scared -It’s easy to tell what she’s feeling through her voice, she never bothers trying to hide her emotions even though she’s an experienced-enough actor to do so and her voice is always full with emotion -Rarely yells but the few times she does, she sounds wild and and frantic, almost hysterical -When she’s angry she sounds trembly and taut. She sounds less angry, per se, and more tight, so it’s hard to tell when she’s angry or just annoyed -Has a soft and airy laugh that sounds like the way a soft breeze feels -Mirrors others a lot, she unintentionally copies everyone else’s signature phrases, hand gestures, tone, et cetera -Her natural voice is super quiet and others have to remind her to speak up a lot, though she’s starting to get the hang of it after mirroring loud-ass Nine -Sounds like what crystals look like and what the cool side of a pillow feels like

Sam: -Has a basic American accent -Has a gentle, emotional, mellow, light, silvery, and kind of high voice -And it’s really, really soft, softer than Marina’s and others love listening to his voice so they don’t mind when he goes on rants about movies or space -When he’s in any mood other than happy or excited he sounds like he’s about to cry, even when he’s relaxed -But when he’s mad his voice doesn’t quiver or anything, it just gets really tight -When he’s talking about things he’s passionate about he talks slower like he’s savoring the words and his voice gets a little deeper and somehow softer -His voice and breath get really shaky when he’s scared or upset like he’s about to break down and it’s really sad to hear -Generally talks quite fast and faster when he’s nervous -Chuckles more than laughs, it’s quiet and sweet -Always gives people nicknames from sci-fi movies, like he’ll call John Spock at random times and no one understands the references -His voice is really soothing. He’s not the best at comforting people (he’s kinda awkward with it) but his voice is enough to calm people down a little bit -Rarely curses, he’ll only say the less intense words like damn or shit but if he’s angry enough he’ll go on a cursing spree and everyone’s shocked at it -Hates Ohio slang but it’s become a habit after living there for so long (and cause John uses it all the time) -Sounds like what glass looks like and what cotton feels like -When he’s tired or just woke up his voice will get really deep- on par with John’s- and he drags all his words and talks super slow -Uses perfect grammar and has a very extensive vocabulary -Usually sounds like a polite college professor -Says ‘burst the bubble’ all the time and uses a lot of astronaut slang and terms -Half the time his speech is impromptu and the other half of the time he has to know what he’s going to say and prepares it like two hours before

Sarah: -Also has a typical American accent -Has a really soft, soothing, velvety, pleasant, emotional, and melodious voice -Her voice isn’t too deep or too high, it’s right in the middle and just a little deeper than Sam’s -Has a soft and giggly laugh, it’s really cute -When she’s scared or upset her voice gets kind of shaky and croaky -Talks at a nice, steady pace and always at a reasonable volume -Sounds like writing in italics -Has a shrill and strident yelling voice when she’s frantic -But when she’s angry it’s resonant and orotund -Overall has a very clear and calm voice but gets a slight rasp when she’s tired and it’s really nice -Also makes a great comforter cause her voice is so soft and sweet -Sounds so patient all the time -Uses good grammar and simple but illustrative words -And uses a bunch of cute, romantic pet names like ‘Love’, ‘Darling’, ‘Sweetie’, etc. -Doesn’t use any type of slang, she just goes for the basic words -Sounds like honey and the way soft sweaters feel -Likes using the basic nicknames that are shortened versions of peoples’ names -And always calls the Garde by their Earth names, she doesn’t like calling people by numbers cause she feels like it’s dehumanizing them -When she’s nervous or anxious her voice gets really quiet, like a whisper -Can sound really rough when she’s tired or exhausted -Her voice is the most feminine of the group, and it’s really soothing and calming to listen to, especially when you’re tired or trying to relax -Her voice is like getting the verbal personification of cuddling with a soft stuffed animal -It’s just really great, kind of like a piece of heaven

Adam: -Kind of has that harsh Mogadorian accent he tries hard to get rid of -Tries to make his voice sound softer but it just ends up sounding like metal against a cheese grater so he eventually gave up -Has a thick, kind of throaty, gravelly, husky, steady, firm, and croaky voice -His voice isn’t really deep, just a bit deeper than Sarah’s and on par with Five’s -But when he’s tired his voice gets really deep, on par with John and sometimes Six and Eight -Sounds monotonous and kind of dead towards people he doesn’t know but once he warms up to them he sounds a lot more optimistic and emotional -Also calls people he doesn’t know by their last name or rank -Usually sounds really hopeful and wistful -Easily has the scariest yelling voice, he sounds wild and fierce and forceful and really, really loud and it’s pretty terrifying -His voice gets really scratchy, sad, and shaky when he’s scared or upset and it’s so painful to hear him like that -When he’s trying to comfort people he usually goes for physical affection but is actually quite wise and always knows the best things to say -Uses perfect but casual grammar and knowledgeable, sophisticated words that make him sound like a nerdy high schooler teacher’s pet -Also uses Mog terms and slang (if that’s even a thing) and literally no one understands him -Curses quite a lot. Not as much as One or Nine but a bit more than Five and Six -Mutters under his breath a lot, usually in Mogadorian -His laugh is a little weird, kind of sharp and choppy, but nice to hear from him -Rarely raises his voice but whenever he does it’s intense -Sounds like lightning and the taste of mint -Usually his voice is a little toneless like someone reading an audiobook -Talks at a very steady pace but likes to pronounce things perfectly and on-point so talks almost carefully, and likes having all his words prepared -Generally sounds warm towards his friends but can sound cold as ice when talking to his enemies

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