#there was drama today fam

[takhayyul]

i hate being the only cousin living in canada, its my cousins wedding in the coming weeks and they be having so much fun rn while i gotta go to my 9 to 5 tmrw

[notimminent]

starter call for when I’m back on my laptop (will vary in length–most likely will be short)

[the-winds-of-destiny-xxx]

.

[iisasarcasticlittleshite]

Are your requests open? 👀 If so can I request the demon brothers with an MC who finally snaps? you can also take it any way you want (angst to fluff, hurt/comfort, pure angst or just some drama) I really don't mind. Thank you very much, Kudos for you <3

I'm so sorry this took so long! I was feeling the angst today so this is just hurt-no comfort. I may do a part two with everything resolved and lots of fluff, but it's bed time now so here you go :3 Warnings: MC's family is implied as absent or toxic, it's highly obscure.

I don't think MC snaps over what everyone thinks they'll snap.

It's not over Leviathan skipping classes to binge anime.

It isn't over Beel's food bills at Hell's Kitchen racking up to the roof, or Belphie sleeping through absolutely every important meeting he was needed in.

Even Mammon selling their things doesn't set them off.

They are not to be mistaken for a pushover, none of them would when MC gets a handle on the brothers so easily.

No, what finally snaps MC is one insult too many.

Living with those demons means they're very used to the bickering, this was more than bickering, this was Levi and Mammon at each other's throats, Asmo snapping insults at Beel and Belphie weighing in with that sharp tongue of his.

Lucifer and Satan soon joined in on each other, filling the dinning room with the almighty clamour of a family barking insults at each other that they don't mean.

MC doesn't care who said it, who started it, who threw the first punch, they heard the start of the sentence that would shatter their heart into a million pieces, and had enough.

"You're not my fam-"

"ENOUGH ENOUGH ENOUGH!"

The human's voice snapped through the chaos like the crack of a whip, replacing it with a silence so dense one would struggle to draw breath through it.

MC's hands are up at their ears, fingers digging into their scalp, shaking, trembling from head to toe.

For a long moment, no one dared breathe too loudly, let alone move, not when MC's gasping for air, face obscured in their own shadow.

"Grow up, just fucking grow up." Their voice was a growl, barely human, but not demon either. "All you have is each other, and you make yourselves your own worst enemies?! WHY?!"

At least they had each other.

Abashed, ashamed, the demons drop their chins, knowing full well they'd found the straw to break a camel's back: family.

MC does not have brothers to go shopping and buy food with, they don't have someone to help them when shit goes wrong, don't have a safety net back home. They can't rely on whatever "family" they do have.

Knowing full well how hard family can be, they do their best to understand the fighting and bickering, but this? This they can't handle.

The human dragged in a deep breath, and it was like a dragon ready to spit fire. MC's fury comes out in words sharp as blades, aimed and targeting the parts that hurt most.

It doesn't burn hot like Satan and Lucifer, it seethed ice cold and powerful under their skin.

To no one's relief, they held that fire and spun on their heel, slamming the door in their wake, leaving the seven rulers of hell in absolute, deathly silence.

[lurkingshan]

The Ride or Die Drama Couples List

So the other night I got a little sassy on main because some of the girlies were complaining that King the Land is focusing more on the couple moments (aka relationship development) between Gu Won and Sa Rang and doesn’t have enough plot. Which is a very typical fandom complaint about romcoms that I absolutely hate, because in a good romance the relationship is the plot, people! It’s bizarre attitudes like this that get us random murder plots spliced into every other romcom for the ratings, and I am begging y’all to stop the madness. 

Ahem. Anyway, that post seemed to resonate with some folks and get them discussing other dramas, and so inevitably @troubled-mind wandered into my notes and said gee Shan, it seems like maybe you should make a list of dramas that show us couples in a relationship and explore how they make it work and ultimately stay together. And I’ve warned y’all before, if you make a stray comment in my direction there will be a list coming your way. So here I am again, doing the absolute most.

Today I present to you a list of my favorite dramas that show you not only how the couple gets together, but also how they stay together. Criteria:

The couple doesn’t have to be together when the drama starts, but they do have to actually begin their romantic relationship no later than halfway through the drama’s run so that we have substantial time with them as a couple

The relationship development between the couple is a primary plot driver (so no dramas where there’s a great long term couple just hanging out in the background)

The relationship story may include some physical separation or even a temporary breakup, but not the betrayal kind–these are the sort that actually force an unaddressed issue to the surface and ultimately bring the couple even closer 

Happy endings only, these pairs are sticking together 

Ride or Die Drama Couples

Bad Buddy - Pat and Pran

(Thailand, YouTube)

This is tumblr so do I really need to tell y’all about Pat and Pran? There is a reason we all lost our minds over this show and it’s because we got to be in this relationship with them so intensely and see them fight to stay together despite it all. Their ending is bittersweet because of their families, but the show leaves us no doubt that they both think the other is worth it and they will always stick it out together. 

Dark Blue Kiss - Pete and Kao

(Thailand, YouTube)

Shout out to the OGs! Pete and Kao originally got together in the Kiss series (you can watch it, but you really don’t have to, fam) and Dark Blue Kiss brings them back three years into their long-term relationship to give us a peek into their struggles with the closet and the toll it takes on both of them individually as well as the strain it puts on their relationship. 

Flower of Evil - Hee Sung and Ji Won

(S Korea, Netflix or Viki)

Hee Sung and Ji Won are already married (with an adorable daughter) when this drama begins, and the backstory of their relationship is unspooled alongside the larger mystery at the heart of the show. One of the most fascinating and heart wrenching love stories I have ever seen, centered on a character who is so emotionally damaged that he genuinely believes he is incapable of love even as love pours out of him. Damn, I’m gonna make myself cry into my oatmeal.

It’s Okay, That’s Love - Jae Yeol and Hae Soo

(S Korea, Viki)

Speaking of crying, lord. Ahhhhhhh. Let me pull myself together. It’s Okay, That’s Love is a healing drama about two people who fall in love and support each other through serious mental health challenges. I don’t really want to say much more than that. Bring tissues, besties!

La Pluie - Patts and Saengtai

(Thailand, iQIYI)

My beloved! This Thai drama is about a pair of soulmates–or are they–who find each other and try to make their relationship work. That’s it, that’s the show. In this drama, the relationship truly is the plot, despite some of the fantasy elements being used to highlight its themes. La Pluie is about the importance of choice and a rebuke of romantic fantasies that fate and destiny will handle your love life for you. I and many others have written about it extensively, so if you decide to watch, you can go nuts on meta. 

Lighter & Princess - Li Xun and Zhu Yun

(China, Viki)

I really love this show. This is a long format drama so there will be longer stretches where the couple still has not officially gotten together, but the relationship between them is the heart of the entire show, and we get the distinct pleasure of watching them fall in love twice, and the second time figure out how to make it stick. Such a treat.

One Spring Night - Ji Ho and Jung In

(S Korea, Netflix)

Oh how I love this quiet little drama about two people who fall for each other while one is still in a relationship with someone else, and figure out how to untangle the mess they’re in. We get to see them not only fall in love, but figure out how to become a unit who can withstand the harsh judgment coming their way and become a family on their own terms. Bonus adorable child alert!

Tomorrow With You - So Joon and Ma Rin

(S Korea, Viki)

This time travel melodrama is one of those that I started with no expectations and then sat up part way through and said what gave you the right to be this good! This is another one where the relationship begins for dubious reasons, but the suspect motives are quickly taken over by genuine feeling. We really get to live with the relationship in this one and the message is all about treasuring the life and time we have together. 

The Rebel Princess - Awu (Wang Xuan) and Xiao Qi

(China, Viki)

I think the phrase Ride or Die was actually invented for them. Talk about a power couple. Once these two get to know each other (this is a historical so as per usual, their marriage wasn’t actually their choice but rather the result of some asshole’s machinations in a quest for power, joke’s on them though) they are in, baby, and their devotion and loyalty never wavers. This is a historical epic in war time, so the couple will be physically separated multiple times, but it only makes them stronger and each of their reunions sweeter. Their relationship is the heart of the show and the throughline in their chaotic lives.

What Did You Eat Yesterday? - Shiro and Kenji

(Japan, the ether)

Saving the best for last because this right here is the GOAT in this category. It sits at the top of my all-time favorite dramas list and I love it passionately. Because y’all? This drama is explicitly about a middle-aged couple learning how to be together in a long-term relationship. That is the entire plot. And it’s fantastic. Stop reading this and go watch it!

Honorable Mentions

Yumi’s Cells - Yu Mi and Goo Wong 

(S Korea, Viki)

This one is not on the list proper because (gasp) the couple doesn’t end up together. I know, I’m still sad about it, too, even though I went into this drama fully aware of the concept (a season about each of Yu Mi’s major relationships). But man. Yu Mi and Goo Wong just have that something, you know? Even knowing they don’t stick it out, it’s a delight to watch them fall in love and settle into a relationship together. Technically there is a second season featuring Yu Mi’s next relationship (Babi? I don’t know her), but I don’t want to recommend it and you can’t make me.

I must also give a shout out to the bl season 2s that exist expressly for the purpose of showing how the characters settle into a relationship after the first season get together:

Gameboys 2 (Philippines, Gaga) - Cairo and Gavreel

Minato’s Laundromat 2 (Japan, Gaga)- Shin and Minato 

SOTUS S and Our Skyy (Thailand, YouTube) - Kongpob and Arthit

Still 2gether (Thailand, YouTube) - Tine and Sarawat

Utsukushii Kare 2 (Japan, Gaga) - Hira and Kiyoi

And because this is my post and I make the rules, I am also doing some honorable mentions of the friends to lovers slow burns where technically they are not together until the final arc of the story but let’s be serious they are together the whole time and just don’t realize it yet so you know exactly what their relationship is going to look like:

Fight for My Way (S Korea, Viki) - Dong Man and Ae Ra

Happiness (S Korea, Viki) - Sae Bom and Yi Hyun

Hospital Playlist 1 and 2 (S Korea, Viki) - Song Hwa and Ik Jun

My Only 12% (Thailand, iQIYI) - Seeiw and Cake

My Ride (Thailand, Gaga or YouTube) - Mork and Tawan 

Romance is a Bonus Book (S Korea, Netflix) - Dan Yi and Eun Ho

Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-Joo (S Korea, Viki) - Joon Hyeong and Bok Joo

Whoops you woke the beast @troubled-mind. @rocketturtle4 @neuroticbookworm @chickenstrangers here are more for your mile long rec lists. :)))

[fyeahthaidramas]

Welcome to the second of fyeahthaidramas' Christmas events!!

GMMTV Advent Challenge

The Event is open to all, and will run from December 1st - 24th, with a themed challenge every day.

Rules etc:

GMMTV shows only please

BLs, GLs, lakorns, and everything between are eligible

All forms of fan content are welcome

Complete the challenge, or just choose your favourite prompts

Content can be as seasonal or not as you want to make it

No ship, show, character, or cast bashing!

Please reblog this post to help spread the word! 💗

Don't forget to tag your creations with #GMMTVadvent so that other people can find and enjoy them.

Info post on the first event 12 Days of Thai Drama Appreciation here.

Challenges below the cut:

Also tagging some people under the cut to help spread the word:

Challenges / Prompts:

Favourite Couple(s)

Most Attractive

Favourite Show(s)

"Cupid's Last Wish" A pair you would love to see team up to play romantic leads, or a one-off pairing you'd love to see become a branded pair.

Favourite Male Character

Best Hair / Favourite Hairstyles

Favourite Female Character

Fic Rec When canon simply isn't canoning the way we want, many of us turn to fanfic. Fix-it, AU, Missing Scenes, Future, our talented authors have got it covered. Whether you have that one fic you read again and again, an author whose posting instantly brightens your day, or a cast of characters you want to see in every setting and situation, let's shout about them today.

Favourite Locations

Favourite Cast Performances

Favourite Character Friendships

Happy 27th Birthday Jamie Juthapich 🎂🥳 Something a little different today; Whether you loved her as "Prof" Ploy in Ploy's Yearbook or loved to hate her as Palana in P.S. I Hate You, Jamie has graced our screens with many memorable performances, so let's all show our appreciation for her!

Favourite Cast Friendships The GMM Fam really is just that - a family, but many of the wonderful friendships within often get overshadowed by the branded pairs, so let's take some time to appreciate the many other heartwarming interactions from this delightful extended family 💛

Music videos Love them or hate them, the cast recordings are a big part of GMMTV shows. I hope at least we can all agree that the music videos have given us some wonderful shots of our favourite faces and pairings, so let's celebrate them!

Favourite Male Cast Member(s)

Favourite Female Cast Member(s)

Mentors, Parents, and Parental Figures, oh my!

Favourite Outfits

Favourite Siblings

Favourite Happy Scenes

Favourite Branded Pairing

Favourite Sad Scenes The sad moments are often what makes a story, and they're often some of our cast's best work, so let's take a moment to highlight them...

Favourite Hugs ...and now hugs to make us all feel better 😊

Happy Christmas to all... Through the years our favourite characters have celebrated Christmas, New Years, Songkran, birthdays, graduations, and more. Pick your favourite parties and let's join in 🥳 And to all, a good night!

💕🎄🎨

Thank you in advance if you reblog ❤️💚✨

@boyslovesource

@gawincaskey

@girlslovenet

@girlsloveupdates

@gunsatthaphan

@khaotunq

@moonkhao

@sherrymagic

@sollucets

@thaidrama

@thebroccolination

@usertoxicyaoi

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

03/15/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Cast & Crew; Samba; Guz; Lube As A Crew; GLAAD Awards; Fan Spotlight; Ari Azure's Renew As A Crew (Act Of Grace); Big Gay Energy Podcast; Cast Cards; SchadenFreude; Watch Parties; In Soup Now; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika;

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

== Samba Schutte BTS ==

Samba was kind enough to grace us with more BTS today. Some pictures and a lot of videos!

CW: Fake Blood and Gore

Video 1: Vico Freaking out over the outfittings

Video 2: Cursed Ship On Deck

Video 3: Revenge Crew Jumping On Deck from Back

Video 4: Bloody

Video 5: Geo-met-ery

Video 6: More On Deck

== Guz Khan ==

Guz Khan's got some upcoming shows! If you're in NYC or LA, feel free to check him out this April! Tickets

== Final Lube As A Crew ==

It was a fun and sad day with our crewmates over at @astroglideofficial. The Social Media conductor was having a lovely time, but obviously was bittersweet with it ending. Here's some highlights from the watch party. To see more visit their twitter. If I get some time this weekend i'll try to put all the lube as a crew stuff together on the repo so you can see it all, just not gonna get to it tonight. I tried to get the timeline in order.. if not, apologies!

== GLAADforOFMD==

So in case it comes up.. there was some drama with some other fandoms regarding GLAAD today on Twitter. The TLDR; version is, some tweets went out regarding how disappointed we were about Ted Lasso winning out over Our Flag Means Death for Outstanding Comedy Series. Somehow, Yellowjackets fandom, who won a different category Outstanding Drama Series somehow got the idea that OFMD fans were complaining about Yellowjackets winning. It was corrected multiple times by multiple people but they kept coming. So yeah, twitter being twitter, not a great time. Sending love to @koneko_army and any other crewmates who had to deal with it.

If you wanna see the GlaadWinners visit The Hollywood Reporter

If you really wanna see the whole thread, you can visit Koneko's Twitter but honestly I don't recommend it, I wasn't even part of it and it stresses me out reading it.

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Ari Azure's Renew As A Crew =

Ari Azure's Renew As A Crew (Act of Grace) song came out today!

Tumblr Post

= Big Gay Energy Podcast =

New Big Gay Energy Podcast dropped!

= Cast Cards =

Our crewmate @melvisik has spotlighted one of our dearest friends Dominic Burgess this time! Starting to round out the collection! Thanks hon!

== Schaden Freude ==

Still trending downward! Great job fam!

== Watch Parties ==

Mar 17th: The Boat That Rocked AKA Pirate Radio Watch Party

7:30 pm GMT / 3:30 pm EST / 1:30 pm CST

Watch Party Hashtags:

PirateRadio 

AdoptOurCrew

SaveOFMD

OurFlagMeansWatchAlong

Mar 18 - Mar 22: Wrecked Season 3

Season 3 watch from March 18th to March 22nd. 

Times will be 10pm GMT / 5pm EST / 4pm CST / 2pm PST. Watch two episodes per day. Episodes are 21-22 minutes each. Use the following Saturday for the tags/watch if interested but not able to make this time.

Hashtags: 

#WreckedPirates

#SaveOFMD

#RhysDarbyFaction

== In Soup Now ==

In Soup Now is back! Post your soups/stews/recipes with!

#InSoupNow

#SaveOFMD

#LongLiveOFMD

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies. Another week has passed. I really hope it wasn't too hard on you-- and if you're off to work tomorrow too, that you get some semblance of rest soon. Sometimes it feels like we're too small to make a difference, or we don't know enough, or we're not pretty enough, or we're not strong enough. Or we're not enough of something, whatever it happens to be. But you know what? You do plenty. You are plenty. You are plenty beautiful, and plenty strong, and plenty full of life, and plenty knowledgeable, and you make plenty of a difference. You make a difference every day, in our lives, and the lives around you. I hope you get some rest and tomorrow you get to see even a glimpse of awesome you truly are. Take care lovelies <3

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Tonight's theme is DRINKIES!

Darby Gif Courtesy of @fandomsmeantheworldtome

Taika Gif Courtesy of @caribbean1989

[pers-books]

Jodie Whittaker returns to Doctor Who 

Big Finish Productions, in partnership with BBC Studios, today announces the first ever Thirteenth Doctor audio dramas as Jodie Whittaker returns to the Whoniverse alongside Mandip Gill as Yasmin Khan.  

First seen on screen in 2017, Jodie Whittaker made TV history as the first female incarnation of the beloved Time Lord in Doctor Who.  

Now she’s back in a brand-new series of twelve, hour-long, full-cast audio adventures in time and space, due to be released from July 2025. By her side in the TARDIS, as ever, will be her best friend Yaz, once again played by Mandip Gill.  

Jodie Whittaker said: “I’m over the moon to be joining Big Finish for more adventures in the TARDIS. Recording the Thirteenth Doctor and Yaz is a really lovely thing to revisit. One of the things Mandip and I used to love on Doctor Who was getting in, doing a new episode and meeting a brand-new cast. I just can’t wait to step back into the boots, pull on the coat and get cracking. One thing’s for sure, it’s going to be brilliant.” 

Mandip Gill added: “Doctor Who has been a huge part of my career and personal life and I am looking forward to seeing how I can further enrich my character through this exhilarating series. To be able to work with Jodie again is a dream come true, we have such a special friendship, I’m sure the recordings will be filled with laughter.” 

Big Finish’s Chairman, Jason Haigh-Ellery said: “This year Big Finish is celebrating its 25th anniversary of producing full-cast Doctor Who audio drama – so, when we were granted the licence to create new stories set during the Thirteenth Doctor’s era, we immediately set to work.  

“I am delighted that the inimitable Jodie and Mandip have decided to return to their roles with us and I’m excited to welcome them to Big Finish. Alongside our two other forthcoming series for the Fugitive Doctor (played by Jo Martin) and the Master (played by Sacha Dhawan), 2025 has never looked brighter for the Thirteenth Doctor and her fam.” 

Big Finish’s Creative Director, Nicholas Briggs added: “Jodie and Mandip were so welcoming to me when I worked on set with them in the TV show, so I’m looking forward to repaying the compliment. They’re lovely people and they’re full of enthusiasm for this project.” 

Big Finish listeners can now pre-order The Thirteenth Doctor Adventures, starting at just £11.99 (per story on collector’s edition CD + download) or £9.99 (download only) exclusively from www.bigfinish.com.  

A complete series multibuy bundle of all twelve releases is also available to pre-order at the specially discounted price of £126 (on collector’s edition CD + download) or £102 (download only), again exclusively from the Big Finish website.  

All the above prices include the special pre-order discount and are subject to change after general release. 

Please note that Big Finish is currently operating a digital-first release schedule. The mail-out of collector’s edition CDs may be delayed due to factors beyond our control, but all purchases of this release unlock a digital copy that can be immediately downloaded or played on the Big Finish app from the release date.

[livesworthlivingau]

Alright, I calmed down enough to write normal words and decided to use your ask box because a comment in a specific post doesn't feel like enough.

You scratched a deep, deep itch in my head. Like, there's no garantee that the loops are actually over, right? Just that the fam doesn't end with the King's defeat. But, unlike me, you decided to stretch those fingers and write instead of brewing but doing nothing like a coward (me).

Also, like how the memories of that time are fuzzy except for a core memory here or there - of course they are, it's been decades! But I know how easy it is to fall into the "They've done this before" pit, so, respectf.

Anyway, if the cat will be out of the bag, then I can't wait to see the drama and shenaningas.

I'm so glad you're enjoying it and just as fascinated by the idea as I am! and you'll be happy to know that the next chapter (10) is already just about done~ I sorta went a little overboard today ^^;

OH! and because I should probably memorialize it somewhere on this blog

Thank you Leo in the official isatcord for giving me the most intense brainrot I've ever had in my life and letting me use the idea for my silly blorbos. These two messages changed my life c:

[kaijunouhhhhhhhhhhummmm]

ramble: soshiro centered/ family drama/ hoshina estate 🏯

you’re in the third division of the defense force and on one fine day you, along with your ass kicking colleagues are given vacation time. you all cheer and can’t wait to get some much needed relaxation. but are amiss at what to do. some decide to go visit home, this leads Iharu to say;

‘you know who’s got some sweet digs? the vice captain.’

‘those are just rumors right?’ kafka chimes in. ‘Kikoru probably has a huge mansion!’

‘not really’ she says

‘i did hear his family has a huge inherited compound.’ says reno

‘they were legends! i mean still are for sure.’ iharu says

days go by and word gets to soshiro that everyone wants to know just what his childhood home looks like. and in a moment of shock to everyone he says ‘you all wanna see for yourselves?’ everyone is speechless. the vice captain is usually not one willing to let anyone into any personal part of his life. very uncharacteristic of him. everyone is enthusiastic about going of course. there is however a sort of silence surrounding soshiro as the days continue. he gives some details about his home but answers most questions with a version of ‘you’ll see for yourself’

shortly thereafter you’re all on a plane, a train and a bus to the hoshina compound. ‘look up.’ he says as the bus climes higher and higher up a winding road on a mountain side. you all do, rushing and shoving to one side of the bus. ‘no way’ ‘shit!’ ‘okay yeah i would’ve seen that from the bottom of the mountain’. everyone is aghast. the roof of a towering building appears over high walls.

you arrive at the main entrance gate followed by almost a hundred steps leading farther up. it appears more like a shrine than a home. hoshina tribe keeps its ancestors close. you all loathe climbing the steps with your luggage but can’t wait to get to the top. the climb is worth the reward. it’s large enough for soshiro to call parts of it the north, south, east and west wings. there is the main house and open walkways leading to the rest. you can’t see most of it from where you stand but it spans wider than you can make out anyways. there are apparently four gardens, three training areas, a hot spring farther out and deeper into the woods a trail leading to a forge.

his father greets everyone. he seems happy and relived to see his son again. soshiros expression is unmoving but he keeps his place as a respectful son. there’s a shift in how soshiro is seen by all in this moment. bowing deeply to his father. everyone does the same in thanks. captain ashiro was mindful to bring a gift. his father welcomes everyone and has a housekeeper show all of you to where you’ll be staying.

the stay is for the week and is mostly touring the land. beautiful forests, relaxing in the hot spring or even training for those that don’t want to fall off entirely. the compound is excellent for just that. you all hardly see soshiro. he joins the group on occasion but for the most part is off somewhere in estate. you all figure he’s got a lot of family affairs to attend to. when he is with you all he seems like he’s thinking about elsewhere. asks if everyone is comfortable, enjoying themselves, having fun but doesn’t seem to listen intently to the answer. you worry. somethings been off since he invited everyone.

‘yeah i don’t know how to feel about it. i was so excited about seeing the place i didn’t think too hard about why.’ kafka says when you mention it.

‘he doesn’t have the best relationship with his fam so i thought i was having a stroke when he asked if we wanted to come along’ iharu says. you are all in one of the gardens admiring the statues of defeated kaiju and their victorious warriors.

‘i’m sure he has his reasons. cmon we’ll be hiking a bit more today’ says mina. everyone acknowledges out of respect for her vice captain the conversation must end.

it’s the second to last day and kafka wants to get everyone together for a game and asks where soshiro is. you say you’ll look for him. you leave the play room out the sliding doors and walk in a general direction occasionally bowing to the housekeepers. there aren’t many. and as expansive as the compound is it doesn’t have quite enough help. you notice parts of it look worn down and unused. it’s still beautiful but nature has taken advantage of the areas that have long been left unattended to. wood splintering, moss growing on stilts and wood boards, climbing plants growing over walls and roofs, grasses and flowers between the gaps on the outdoor tile.

you hear voices and decide to turn in that direction. the voices grow louder not with proximity but in volume. you’re too close now. surely whoever is nearly yelling will hear your steps. you can hardly make out what’s being said but you freeze up at hearing soshiros voice rise in frustration. you’ve walked in on a very personal moment and want to leave but don’t know how to.

‘why did you come if not for that?’ you jump at the clear exclamation.

silence follows. your heart is pounding.

‘i was hoping-‘ you recognize soshiros voice. he cuts himself off.

you feel a tap on your shoulder. it makes you jump but the housekeeper that guided you to your rooms when you first arrived puts a finger up to her mouth signaling you to stay silent. she has a soft smile. her expression understanding what you heard but without a word asking you to be mindful. she gently reaches out for your hand and guides you away. her trained footsteps hardly make a sound. you turn back to the room you heard the argument from. you don’t hear yelling anymore.

she guides you to a small kitchen and gives you a tray of snacks. ‘here’ she says ‘for you and your friends’ you follow her silently to the game room. what you both heard hanging in the air. everyone is grateful for the food and you tell them you couldn’t find soshiro. you turn to the housekeeper and she bows before shutting the door and leaving.

the next day is much of the same. tomorrow morning you will all leave. you are on your way down stone steps to a wildflower garden when you see soshiro approaching.

‘vice captain. it’s good to see you’ you say. better to not mention what you heard.

he smiles. if you didn’t know any better you’d have no idea he just argued with his father yesterday. ‘hey there. i’ll be joining you all today. have you liked everything so far?’

youre response is cut off by a greeting ‘soshiro!’ you both turn to see soichiro approaching. you sense once again this is not your place. you’re about to say you’ll see him down in the garden but when you see his face you freeze. once again your stopped in place. his face is stone. his eyes are sharp and focused on his approaching sibling.

‘i didn’t know you’d be coming out. dad says you’ve been here for a week now with your division. hey there i’m soichiro nice to meet you!’ he greets you. you both bow.

‘you as well. you have a beautiful home.’ you say meaning it. again you turn to soshiro but his face hasn’t changed. ‘well then i’ll be going.’ you make your exit swift. as you pace down the steps you hear pieces of what would be a bad excuse for a conversation. soichiro asks questions. soshiro answers in curt one word responses. you realize he did not bow to his older brother.

their conversation must’ve not been very long because he’s joined your group not five minutes after you walk away. reno and kafka are now in flower crowns and iharu is impatiently waiting for his from mina. you’re trying to make your own. soshiro greets everyone and your amazed at how different he is now. his glare was as cold as steel towards his brother but here he’s warm and as witty as ever. you all decide to stay out for the afternoon and into the evening.

dinner is brought to you all and you have a picnic as twilight comes. you feel stuck about what happened yesterday and not to long ago. you’re not sure what to do but decide not saying anything is definitely not what you want to do.

you walk up to where he is, observing everyone from a little distance. ‘here’ you say handing soshiro a flower. ‘i want to apologize.’ he looks at you confused. ‘yesterday. i heard you and your father, well, i shouldn’t have-‘

you’re cut off by a chuckle ‘ ah that was you.’ a bitterness in his tone. ‘i’m sorry you heard that. and for earlier as well. i meant to say something but…’

‘don’t apologize to me. it’s none of my business but i felt bad about it happening. to you i mean. fuck, i mean you don’t need my pity. not that that’s what i’m trying to say! it’s just i know it really sucks when you argue with your family so i wanted to do something so please accept this flower.’ god you’re embarrassed. what the hell was that? you two hardly speak and now here you are stammering the most you’ve ever said at once to him.

a smile grows on his face as he looks at you then the flower, then back at you again. he reaches out and takes the flower. ‘thank you.’ he looks at you in the eyes with such sincerity you can’t respond. you nod. a moment of silence passes and you’re distracted by reno and kafka wrestling in the field. possibly being refereed by kikoru. mina hides her face from laughing. you both laugh too.

‘i didn’t want to do this by myself.’ he cuts the silence between the two of you. you turn to him. a content expression on his face. ‘i knew it wouldn’t be easy returning after so long. but i’m not the same boy i was when i left.’ he turns to you ‘i’m stronger now thanks to all of you.’

suddenly it’s hard to look him in the eyes, suddenly you palms start to sweat. your heart races. the last lingering sunlight on his face is so bright. you know what this feeling is and you want to kick your own ass for feeling it for your superior. ‘we can say the same about you.’

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: The Bad Buddy Rewatch Edition, Part 4 -- Thoughts on Pran Leaving For Singapore

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I offer the last installment of the BBS OGMMTVC Meta Series -- a meditation on Pran's readiness to move to Singapore.]

Links to the BBS OGMMTVC Meta Series are here: part 1, part 2, part 3a, part 3b, and part 4

WE ARE AT THE HOME STRETCH, FAM! If you've been reading along on this journey of the Bad Buddy OGMMTVC Meta Series, why, I thank you so much! This has been one of the most fulfilling labors of writing love that I've ever undertaken. Bad Buddy means so much to me and to so many of us, and I've spent a lot of time, and expended QUITE the word count, to honor this show in all the facets that I've thought about it.

I wanted to take some time, at the end of this meta series, to talk about some of the facets that I've thought of, and that I've engaged others in discussion about, regarding Pran leaving for Singapore for two years. Let me explain why.

When Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy (x A Tale of Thousand Stars) came out this past June, I felt that us as a fandom might have been looking for clues, some kind of reckoning, for the separation that occurred at the end of the Bad Buddy series. We were so overwhelmed as a fandom with a lot:

the impending end of this entire franchise that we love

the impending end of the OhmNanon ship, knowing that Ohm Pawat does not repeat screen partners, and that Nanon Korapat was not happy doing shipping fan service, and

the tie-ins with A Tale of Thousand Stars and Pha Pun Dao, and wondering how EarthMix would get involved with the ending of BBS. (I myself was overwhelmed with OhmEarth, cough cough, and I stay WONDERING when GMMTV is going to DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS, anyway.)

It was a lot to take in. I know that, for myself, I was definitely looking for clues regarding Pran's emotional readiness to take off for two years to work in Singapore -- and to understand the health of Pran's and Pat's relationship, as they neared graduation, to get to that place of that kind of huge decision.

In this piece, I'm going to put together a lot of the theories and themes I've looked over in my previous pieces, to understand that state of readiness. I mentioned in part two of this series, a meditation on pain, trust, and separation in some Asian dramas, the obvious fact about Pran's departure, one that he literally says himself: the opportunity to make a better career move and better money made the decision to move overseas a clear one. I slapped my forehead in recognition of this when I talked to @recentadultburnout about this, regarding the Thai/Asian viewpoint of this decision -- and I talked about the very common paradigm of economic separations from loved ones from many Asian countries, to go abroad to seek out better salaries and opportunities.

However, I think a kind of nostalgia for Pran and Pat permeated the fandom during Our Skyy 2 anyway, despite that reality. And like I said earlier: what I was looking for during the Our Skyy 2 run were signs of readiness from Pran specifically, to indicate his emotional movement towards making this decision.

My dear fellow BBS stan (I'd say we're almost colleagues now, HA!) @telomeke has waxed beautifully on how Pran attempts to keep his spaces, his inner sanctuary, safe from the traumas that he unwillingly experiences external to his body. The traumas of the various separations he experiences from Pat, the pressures to comport to the demands and boundaries that are set to him by others, namely Dissaya and Wai, and so on.

As I wrote in part 2 of this series: even before the 10th grade separation of Pat and Pran, Pran was already experiencing what I called a "theoretical separation" from Pat, a public separation that did not allow the two boys to even pretend to be friends at school. Then the 10th grade Christmas concert occurs, and Pran is -- poof, gone.

I unwound in part two of this series that that separation was quite remarkable, not just for Pat, who experienced a huge reaction to that separation ("I was so depressingly lonely"), but for Pran, who, I posit, was essentially abandoned by his mother (that's a little harsh, but I'm a mom, too, so I feel this emotionally and structurally) to go to boarding school, out of Dissaya's fear that her son would be hurt by Pat and the Jindapats, the way that she was when she was a teenager. In other words, Dissaya would have rather had Pran away from her, physically, to continue the enmity between the Jindapats and the Siridechawats, than to risk Pran continuing to be physically close to Pat.

In all other words: separation from loved ones, in the life of Pran, had hitherto been associated with trauma. Even regarding the final "theoretical separation" that I posit Pran and Pat having at the end of the series -- where they must pretend to be broken up in order to save the sanctity of their relationship -- that compromise, that sacrifice is certainly associated with the intergenerational trauma that the Jindapats and Siridechawats have levied unto their children. And because of Asian cultural norms, such as saving face, obedience, and filial loyalty to one's family, Pat and Pran will not play an individualistic game of declaring their relationship publicly. Instead, they'll pretend to be broken up, with Pat asking, years later, when he'll ever be able to walk through Pran's front door.

That's a LOT! It's a lot.

So, how do we get from the guys being "theoretically separated," to being actually separated, for two years? There are two ways that I want to look at the actual separation: from the perspective of Pran's emotional readiness, and from a lens that I didn't think of that @telomeke proposed, regarding Dissaya's lost future as a university student.

I stand from the perspective that Our Skyy 2, both for Bad Buddy and for A Tale of Thousand Stars, is underrated. It was full of comedy and improvisation, but after my recent rewatches -- Our Skyy 2 also contained some of the most beautiful emotional closures to on-screen relationships that I've seen. The conclusions to both PatPran and PhuphaTian were so lovely.

"I can't live without him."

"I can't live without you." "Neither can I."

"If anything happens to you -- how can I live?"

The phrase "I can't live without you" is the key to the door opening to Pran's ultimate independence. Before then, Pran still felt insecure enough (which we learn about through his conversation with Phupha) to feel guilty about the previous ways in which he was engaging with his partner, Pat.

In light of that insecurity, and with the confirmations of such permanence -- I can't live without you, I will live forever with you, I can't survive without you -- that gives a person like Pran a foundation, a sense of security.

It sounds so simple, but remember that Pran has not had any kind of sense of security up until the point of his relationship with Pat. Again, even his mother separated herself from her son for her own fear, reputation, and enmity.

Pat's loving confirmation opens the door for Pran to.... finally be himself. If Pat will never leave Pran, Pran can find safety -- maybe even external to his inner sanctuary in which he's found his own internal peace up until the moment that they graduate -- to find himself, through new means, like his burgeoning career.

I love the way that Our Skyy 2 ended in particular around the ongoing commentary between Pran and Pat that Pat was still under the assumption that without Pat, Pran "can't do anything." In fact, when Pat first admits that he "can't live without" Pran, he notes that he's the fool in that equation -- that he's the one who can't function without his partner in Pran. With Pat's solid love for Pran, and with that admission, Pat himself can also let go of his motif of enmeshment and dependence that he assumes Pran has towards Pat -- and allow Pran to be his own holistic self, away from the demands of dependent people like Pat and Dissaya.

In a quick conversation I had with @chickenstrangers a couple of months ago, we actually noted that Pran happens to like having strongminded people around him, people who set boundaries around him and for him -- people like Dissaya, like Wai, and even like Pat, with Pat's jingle of "you can't do this without me" rattling through Pran's head as Pran first boards the bus to Pha Pun Dao. I would posit that that for so long, other people did the work for Pran of setting those external -- and even many of those internal -- boundaries that Pran operated by, that Pran then, without the safety of that inner sanctuary, could often fall into confusion or maybe even a little stress-induced dissociation, during times in which he didn't know how to solve problems, like fixing the dilapidated bus station early in the Bad Buddy series.

But with Pat's own internal change and admission in Pha Pun Dao -- Pran himself then gets to change within far more safe boundaries, the boundaries of his relationship, and he's literally able to fly, both emotionally and professionally.

Besides the internal relationship dynamics between Pran and Pat giving Pran the emotional safety to be able to leave Thailand, my dear BBS compadre, @telomeke, offered another theory regarding Dissaya that I thought was incredibly apt. We know that Dissaya's had almost total control over Pran's physical being for his entire life. How could she let Pran, her only baby boy, go so far away from her?

Again, we know that she sent him to boarding school, away from her, to get him away from Pat. But Pran going to Singapore wasn't about getting away from Pat. At least on paper, for her sake -- he's no longer with Pat, so she doesn't have the Jindapats to worry about in Pran's life anymore.

What @telomeke offers is a read that Dissaya herself could live vicariously through Pran's professional successes -- because her own professional success was denied to her, through Pat's father, Ming. From @telomeke:

...Pran, in going to Singapore, is actually, in a way, living out Dissaya's dream, because she was robbed of a professional future in a career outside the home, so in making a success of himself in his chosen career, he is, in a sense, allowing Dissaya to live her dream thru her baby boy. She didn't stop him from going to Singapore, and I think this is partly why; Pran's success will be hers too[.]

What this theory offers -- along with Pat's own safety and sanctity through Pat's confirmation of permanent love -- is Pran's safety through Dissaya. Dissaya gave Pran up once (arguably, she gave him up a bunch of times). But if Pran is living out a professional dream that was dashed for Dissaya -- and Dissaya supports Pran living out that professional dream? Pran gets double confirmation, from the two people he is the closest with, that he'll be safe to live out a dream of his own, one that belongs only to him, that the people who love him want to see him invest in.

And we see Pran having great success in Singapore. It worked. On the flip side, we see Pat's pain at the separation all throughout the first half of episode 12. We see Pat viscerally missing Pran, and we see other shades of Pat's pain as well (cc @shortpplfedup), especially in the resulting years of conflict with his father after he comes out to Ming with Pran. But with separation will come pain, and it's on a couple, a couple as well-balanced as Pran and Pat, to deal with that and mitigate that pain through their eventual and forever love, the love that was truly confirmed in Our Skyy 2.

Whew. I drop my pen in pure pleasure at turning over this incredible television series through all the lenses that I've been obsessing over, not just for the past two months during my rewatches and my writing, but since this past January, when I first watched this incredible series. I've been so thrilled to demarcate BBS like this on its two-year anniversary, and again, I very much want to thank @telomeke, @grapejuicegay, @recentadultburnout, @neuroticbookworm, and @lurkingshan for discussions on Asian reads on BBS; and @chickenstrangers and @ranchthoughts for side DMs about the wonders of this show. With the closer of this mini meta series, I'll chug along on the final stretch of the OGMMTVC -- but I am tremendously happy to have given Bad Buddy all the space it deserves on this syllabus as a truly remarkable, influential, and groundbreaking show of its time.

(Tagging @dribs-and-drabbles, @solitaryandwandering, and @wen-kexing-apologist by request!)

[ALLLLLLLLLRIGHT! Back to the GRIND, fam! So right now, I have the OGMMTVC on pause as I catch up with Tanachot Prapasri's and Fluke Teerapat's La Pluie, as I know La Pluie is going to end up on a lot of Best of 2023 lists. I AM OBSESSED.

But once I'm done with La Pluie, we stay grindin' on our homework, and I'll get to Cheewin Thanamin's Secret Crush on You. I know that SCOY is being referenced in The Sign right now, which I really wish I had time to watch, but -- there is so much airing. And I'm double-Cheewin-ing with Playboyy at the moment, so I think I'll stick with the SCOY/Playboyy double-feature for a little comparison's sake.

If anyone was noticing, I did take off a rewatch of The Eclipse from the list. I think, as of recent times, that a lot can be said of GMMTV's current ships by way of the closing of Only Friends, and anything I was going to analyze on the side of The Eclipse, I already wrote in my Only Friends meta earlier this fall.

So THAT means that after SCOY -- I've got a rewatch of KinnPorsche on the slate. BL cultural zeitgeist from a brand-new studio, woop woop! I am not-so-secretly looking forward to watching this, as KP was my first Thai BL, ever.

We keep KEEPIN'! Here's the status of the list, and as ever, please head over to this link for a more updated version of this watchlist!

1) The Love of Siam (2007) (movie) (review here) 2) My Bromance (2014) (movie) (review here) 3) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 4) Gay OK Bangkok Season 1 (2016) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 5) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 6) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 7) Gay OK Bangkok Season 2 (2017) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 8) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 9) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 10) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 11) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 12) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 13) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 14) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 15) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 16) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 17) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 18) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (a non-BL and an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 19) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 20) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) (and notes on my UWMA rewatch here) 21) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 22) I Told Sunset About You (2020) (review here) 23) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) (review here) 24) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) (review here) 25) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 26) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (re-review here) 27) Lovely Writer (2021) (review here) 28) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) (review here) 29) I Promised You the Moon (2021) (review here) 30) Not Me (2021-2022) (review here)

31) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 32) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) (review here) 33) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch (The BBS OGMMTVC Meta Series is ongoing: preamble here, part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3a here, part 3b here) 34) Secret Crush On You (2022) (on pause for La Pluie) 35) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 36) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For the Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 37) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 38) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 39) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 40) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 41) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) 42) Be My Favorite (2023) (tag here)  43) Wedding Plan (2023)  44) Only Friends (2023) (tag here)]

[gryficowa]

Boycott!

I tried to draw today, ya… Two months of break from digital and drawing itself took its toll, unfortunately…

But okay, it's a matter of how I remember everything, so there's no drama

Now that I have your attention:

----------------------------------------------------

Let the Miku trend bring the whole world to its knees!

(My internet went down for a while lol)

But don't forget to boycott!

By the way, fuck Harris fans, we all know you don't give a damn about Palestinians and love pinkwashing

[livinces]

So I'm having a difficult... conflict (??) right now.

I want to have a career writing and self-publishing my stories. I also want to create and put out music. (I don't wanna be Stephen King or Lana Del Rey, I just want to be an indie artist with a decent size fanbase.)

I've been intending to change my name to Candie Hart and use that for writing. I've been intending to use DRAMA PRINCESS for my music. (It's a nickname I've called myself since 2015.) But today, I thought "Should I go with Candie Hart for my music? If so, do I use that for my novels as well?" (I want my first album to be titled "DRAMA PRINCESS," so that isn't going anywhere.) And I have thought in the past that, as much as I love the name Candie Hart and like it's on-vibe for me, I don't think it fits with most of my stories. At least not most of the titles. 🤔

*le sigh* Any ideas, fam?

[mur-art]

Playing this game with the fam and this card combo reminded me of our favorite catty west coast drama queens:

*California group-texting everyone in the west… *

California: Ugh, the date went well until he used a straw. Yeah I really like him, but I like our oceans more, you know?

Washington: Ew, you have an Android?

Oregon: I’m actually playing Call of Duty at the moment and this 10-year old is destroying my self esteem.

Nevada: My pug got neutered today. I kind of need to be here for him. :/

[quinloki]

for today's brainrot inspired by quin:

whitebeard family beach episode family vacation

you're staying with the whitebeard family so of course you're coming on the family vacay originally when they mention it you try to brush it off, you're indebted to them already for letting you stay with them you can't possibly intrude on their family vacation that is until pops is like no you're coming no negotiations (he views getting his kids like the cat distribution system I feel, so at this point you just belong with the fam)

and it's fine, sounds fun to go to the beach. That is until you're reminded that these guys are loaded when you show up to a mostly private reserved house with attached beach after being squished between luffy and ace in the van and they both snore on your shoulders

and before the trip you went shopping for swimsuits with nami and you're nervous bc you feel like she went a little overboard and you don't want to wear anything inappropriate around all the brothers and before yall left you tried to find ace to ask him about it but ran into izou instead and he offered to take a look and give approval or not which is fine, izou is very respectful (but he 100% makes it a point to brag about it around sabo/marco that he got to see your swimsuit first in private)

and your swimsuit IS fine, what you miscalculated on was the fact that all of ace's hot brothers are roaming around in THEIR swimming suits and you're like damn it's hot on this beach and just trying not to get caught staring (not that that works but....)

sabo wants to take you out on a jetski, and marco wants to take you tubing, but anytime either of them come up to offer luffy/ace/thatch interrupt the two brothers run into each other at breakfast since they both seem like early risers and conclude that neither of them are sabotaging the other, and rightfully suspect izou who's having a blast

so they just make a deal where they'll be each other's buffer to the interlopers and manage to squeak out some little 'date' time in activities that have you in close proximity with very little clothings in between like having to hold onto sabo on a jetski (or him behind you showing you how to drive) or getting tugged on a tube behind a boat with marco up snug to make sure you don't blow off

then watching fireworks together on the beach sandwiched in between them because ace and luffy are running around lighting the fireworks off and them getting realllll close bc they don't want you to get cold!

oh but I also was thinking whitebeard would just be watching it all with amusement and he'd have a bet with one of the older sons on how long it takes for SOMEONE to make a move but I don't know the older sons well enough to pick one tho

that's what I got for now I need to adult and put a shelf together but like idk if you've watched ouran high school host club but I was thinking about their beach episode the other day and I think that's what made this come into my brain

.... I'mma write this story. I mean, I'm just going to have to start it tonight, that's all there is to it. I'd apologize to everyone waiting on updates to other wips, but I gotta go where my brain goes, and my brain is now on the beach.

YES I LOVE OURAN HOST CLUB AND I LOVED THE BEACH EPISODES (the fake beach and the real beach one).

After the beach Izou just starts pulling you into projects and jobs with him directly. He's not trying to steal you away from Marco or Sabo, but if he can't send people in, he'll just drag you out. It might seem like he's just being a little shit, but he really just wants to move the confession along.

This is all post dealing with your exes and getting over you being tangentially familial for both of them, and he's waited long enough. It's painfully obvious that the three of you like one another romantically, and he's 99% sure you're only quiet about it because you feel indebted to the family and don't want to cause drama.

No matter who you "picked" there would be tension and raw feelings afterward. What Izou needs to try and help you understand is that choosing both is as valid an option as anything else. Marco and Sabo are already working together to stop Izou from interfering, so there's already a good healthy foundation for it.

Half of Izou's interference is to prod Sabo and Marco to confront him - and when they do he lays out the entire concept of a throuple or threesome or whatever, and I feel like Marco and Sabo will both be like "Yeah, we've talked about that." kind of deal.

(Izou and the reader are going to be on the same time table if I can write this how I want. Twitchy and an inch away from yelling "GET ON WITH IT" or "KISS ALREADY" xD by the time things really start moving.)

[heymeowmao]

2023.11.18 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324969502629822558

I'll stream for a small~~~bit~~

LYN: Hallo everybody, good evening I am Modern Brothers Liu Yuning. Welcome! LYN: I already told you I would find time to stream, so this counts as having made good on my promise. C: What a surprise. LYN: It’s not really. Honestly I am a little tired, because I just started my new work so I’m a little weary and I was planning on coming back home to take a shower and sleep. But since we wrapped up so early today, I felt like if I didn’t use the time to stream I would be letting you down. Our main focus, fam’, is “company”, isn’t it?

C: Your hairstyle is hard to explain. LYN: I just got off work and had to have it under a wig for my guzhuang drama. Now my hair is pressed flat and shapeless so I’ve just slapped on this white hair. Today we’ll cosplay as a “leng shao”- someone who looks distant and cool. 

LYN: My new drama has just started filming, and I know a lot of fans were planning on attending the open. But since we’ve been a little low-key, you didn’t make it and have instead decided to come to Hengdian to play. You made a trip out of it. I saw many of you are checking in at various restaurants- restaurants that I’ve been to- to have a meal or hang out. “Ning-ge ate at this place, and as expected, it’s good! Why else would he keep coming here otherwise?” “This place has to be good because I always see people take photos of Ning-ge, when he’s leaving it.” “When Ning-ge, comes here next, he’ll be checking in where PF’s (his fanclub: peng-fei) have checked in!” LYN: It’s great. Hengdian is a nice place to come for travel & sight-seeing. You can take a walk around at see- the House of Sunset Drizzle, and other such places. You can wander around and check them out. 

C: Has Leng Shao come out to eat in the past few days? LYN: No, because you’re all there, so I will not be eating out. Let’s say for example you’re eating out at a restaurant and I- “GWA!”-  walk in with messy hair and swollen face. As soon as I walk into that restaurant and you see me, I’m sure that your psychosis will start. You’ll all go crazy in a split second. Then, you’ll pick up your phone and contact all your friends around the Hengdian area and disclose my location. Everyone will swarm the place. That’s the first thing. The second is usually- since I am from Dongbei, and we are more kind- if I walk into a restaurant that has 10 tables and 6 of them are of my fans who have come to sightsee… should I pick up the bill for these 6 tables or not? Do I pay for their meals, or not. Friends, you can ponder this for a minute. If I don’t pay the bill, would people think I am stingy, being such a big artist as I am? If I DO pay… I would feel sorry for my money. XD LYN: I don’t want to offend anyone- so I’ll just stay at home eating take-out. You can have your fill of fun and when you’re done you can go back home to work or whatever, okay? I will not be accompanying you, nor will I be paying for your bill. Please do not have a meal at the restaurant and when the boss tells you to pay, say, “Add it to Leng Shao’s tab. My friend, Leng Shao, works in Hengdian all the time. Do you not know him? Add it to his tab and make him pay later.” - C: How long has it been? LYN: I just started not too long ago. 3 minutes. (t/n: 8 minutes…) You didn’t miss any exciting content.  - C: I got it. Ning-ge, I’m in Hengdian right now. Later, wen I got o eat I will tell the boss to put it on your tab. LYN: If you’re going to do that… you’re going to get reported. That’s running away without paying. YOU know who “Leng Shao” is, but the shop owner doesn’t. Forget it, okay?

C: Ning-ge, change into a hat. LYN: What do you care?? What’s it to you what I wear. I’m just going to do what I want.  Just listen for entertainment. Even if you think that you can’t stand to see another second of my face and this messy hair, just listen to my voice. Listening to the audio alone is also very nice. Friends, isn’t it nice? - /purposely makes it... not nice/ - /laughs at himself. LYN: I turned into a frog./

LYN: A lot of people watch my stream and many of you know that I’m a singer, but not that I am also acting. But they have seen clips of my streams, so they always say, “I’ve watched a bit of LYN’s stream, but why does he talk with such a heavy Dongbei accent? How can he act like that??” Uh… can you hear my Dongbei accent when I’m singing? No, right? I just like to use my hometown dialect when I’m streaming, but I actually can speak putonghua. C: People from the Northeast have a few different sounds they can use. LYN: Not always. It depends on if you know how to use them or not. But they’re also not immediately interchangeable. 

C: Ning-ge, how much money is is the opening red envelope? LYN: I don’t know about other people but actors get- what’s it to you?? How is how much money is in my red envelope any business of yours? Did you want me to treat you to a meal? No way. I can’t do it. C: 100 // 200 // 5. LYN: You can’t be like that. Now you’re being impolite. The red envelope given at opening is for good luck- it doesn’t have anything to do with the amount. It’s not as if your whole finances are dependent on this one red envelope. It’s a token meant to bring good luck. The amount is not important. LYN: Someone said “100”. Let’s say for example that the ZLYM envelope did not have up to 100 in it; how do you want me to explain that to the crew? Now it seems like we’re very stingy. That doesn’t work, right? What if it isn’t 100?? C: At least 100. LYN: The amount won’t be too much. I’ve received a few opening envelopes, and some of them were 10-20-50, and even some 100. ZLYM is a big project, so… they gave us 100. 100 is the upper limit for opening red envelopes. It doesn’t have to do with lack of resources or not, it’s just not worth it to give any more than that. It’s a small token of appreciation. C: Give me 5. LYN: You’re just a kid. You can’t spend money. I’ll save it for you. When you grow up I’ll give you 100 to spend. For now I’ll save it for you. 

C: How long? LYN: Just a small while. You didn’t really miss anything. I can’t stream for too long, either. I was planning to wrap and wash my face properly and get some rest so that I can be in good condition for filming. 

C: Are you still drinking the plum juice? LYN: Not lately. I don’t drink it after filming starts. I was drinking it earlier, because we hadn’t started yet. But the juice- just fruits blended into a juice- is helpful for uh… swift going. It will make you use the restroom more often, let’s say. After a few trips, you’ll start to lose water weight and therefore look a little thinner. For a period of time, I was drinking that juice- one pack a day- and I became… too swift. LYN: Yesterday I was in hair and makeup, and after that I was supposed to go to set. The car was parked in the front and my staff came to get me like, “The car’s ready. Let’s go.” But I told them I needed to use the restroom. So they let me go. After staying in there for about two minutes, I… wasn’t successful. So I thought, “Forget it. Let’s just go. If anything, I can take care of it when I reach the set.” After you drink this juice, you’ll feel the need to go more often. Anyway, I decided to take care of it on set, but three minutes after the car had started moving, I couldn’t take it anymore. I told them, “Find me a bathroom, quick. I can’t hold it anymore.” We had the navigation search for the closest restroom, but it was ten minutes away. I was not going to make it ten minutes. They needed to find me something within three. We found a hotel, and I walked right in and was able to take care of it. LYN: If your digestion is poor lately and you want to drink some, that’s okay. But if you have a normal work schedule, try not to drink that thing. You won’t be able to control it. XD C: Don’t talk about it so uncouthly. LYN: I think that as an actor, you have to have a clear and realistic approach to expressing yourself. Because when you’re talking to someone about things, you have to give them a sense of the picture. Even though you can’t satisfy them in terms of smell and hearing, you have to give them a sense of sight to be considered an outstanding actor. That’s one of the base requirements for being an actor. That is- even though you weren’t there, through my description, you should be able to get an idea of the situation. You had to get an understanding of and feel my pain. C: I’m eating dinner! LYN: I apologize. It’s around 7p, I thought you were done already. Because I always eat at around 5-6p, and by 7p I’m laying down watching tv. I didn’t know. My apologies. That was my mistake. Excuse me. C: What does the plum juice taste like? LYN: DZW recommended it to me. He said it could help with weight loss.

C: What are you drinking now? LYN: This- /picks up his glass/- is tea. I usually drink soft drinks, because I quite like sodas and “lei bi” (sprite = xue bi; the characters for xue (snow) and lei (lightning) look similar). But I’ve been trying to cut my sugar intake, so I’ve been drinking these sugar free drinks. But I can’t take just clear water- I don’t really want to drink it. So I’ve bought things like this- this is pu’er tea.

C: Ning-ge, you’re not seeing HZT today? LYN: What are you talking about? I know- he has a concert today. But… I attended a cosplay event today, so I didn’t go. See- look at the white hair? Normally I would be at his concert, but I’m filming a drama. We just started filming today. I have scenes in the next few days so I dont think I can go. I’ll see if I have time later to attend any of the other stops. That doesn’t need saying- of course I’ll go if I have time. LYN: I sent him a flower stand for a successful concert, though. 

C: Ning-ge, you’re cosplaying as [???] LYN: I’m cosplaying as a head of garlic. Do you want to peel me apart? [t/n: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

C: Ning-ge, change into something green. LYN: ? Are you cyber-bullying me? Let me tell you- don’t think that artists are so well off. Actually, they are under an immense amount of pressure. So one day if I turn emo, don’t you think I would find you (as the cause)? You might think that your unintentional words online are amusing, but you know, sometimes- /plays the sad bgm/- sometimes your unintentional words can cause an adult to instantly have a breakdown. I really hope that when you’re on the internet, you can reply in a more cultured manner and with kindness. Okay? Let’s return to everyone a peaceful and quiet online environment. C: That’s about enough. LYN: I’m only using a humorous method to advise someone who harbors ill-intent for me not to.

----- drama chat

LYN: Friends, have you been watching Wonderland of Love (LYY)? I think it’s airing pretty well. I don’t know what episode it’s on, but later I’m going to make an appearance. [E36] I cameo’d for three scenes, so I think it’s about time for me to appear. I’m guessing. I know friends were curious as to what sort of character I cameo’d as. C: I’m watching it! // I’m watching right now. LYN: Who are you kidding?? You have my stream open, and you’re telling me you’re watching LYY right now??

C: Ning-ge, then how long do you appear for before you die? LYN: /sigh/ Do I HAVE TO die??? That’s a line from my drama (Heroes 2022)- “Do I have to die?”

LYN: I used to play as supporting characters or villains, and at the end of the drama I always had to die. I finally got the chance to go to this drama and cameo for three scenes, and you want me to die there, too?! What- Do all the characters I act as have to die or something?? LYN: Sometimes I chat with other actors and they say, “I think for this drama.. at the end I have to die.” This happens a lot when we talk about the script, so I asked them, “Why is that?” The response was, “That way the viewers will feel sorry for you.” Ah… 😬 LYN - “Is that so…?” A - “Yeah. If your character dies at the end of the drama, the viewers will definitely feel for you.” LYN - “If that’s what works, then I guess I can die.” LYN: I even started to believe it. But there’s a problem: I’ve shot around ten dramas now. My rate of death is about 70%. Any role I play… they die. Now I’m having a bit of a mental breakdown because based on the response from the dramas that have already aired, it doesn’t seem like the viewers feel very sorry for me at all. They still call me ugly. The Chinese have a saying, “Respect the dead”, right? In the drama I’m already dead- viewers don’t care, they still curse at me. 

LYN: So, friends, when I receive a script there are a few questions I have to ask before even looking at the role: I ask, “Is the script complete?” It is. “Who am I playing as?” and “In the end, are they dead or alive?” If the production team says that they aren’t dead, okay, I’ll look at the script. If they tell me that the character I play dies, then... I’ll have to consider it. I can’t keep taking those roles, because I feel like it is ominous for my life. You might not know, but much of the acting industry depends on fengshui (superstition). It’s a big part of the industry, and we’ll light incense at the start of filming, too. LYN: For me, someone who often acts in scenes where I am dying/dead, the crew will prepare a red envelope for you. You get a red envelope at the start of filming, and if you die in the drama you get another one. If they know you will be acting such a scene coming up, they will give you a red envelope to put in your shoe- under your foot. That will help ward off evil. If you die in the drama twice- the first is a fake death and the second for real this time- then you will get two extra red envelopes. It doesn’t matter how many times, if you die, you get a red envelope. 

C: How much? LYN: I already told you- the opening red envelope has nothing to do with money- it’s just a good omen. You can put 10 or 20 RMB in there, it’s all good. Usually that’s the general rule. C: Is paper money okay, too? [t/n: the money you burn for the deceased] LYN: 去你的! // I might just punch you for that!

C: Ning-ge, in that case, if you act as a jiangshi, do you get a red envelope every day? LYN: /laughs/ ! Hey, does a jiangshi get paid a daily salary, then? It doesn’t sound unreasonable… 

C: Pei pei pei! (“Knock on wood”!) LYN: It’s okay. I was joking around earlier. Honestly, as an actor, you don’t really care about these things. I acted in- Ultimate Note- you all know. So you also know what the content is. In one of the scenes, I was lying down inside a coffin. They closed it and left me with a walkie-talkie. The director said, “On the count of three, push open the coffin and come out of it.” That’s how the scene was designed- a lot of you already know it. So that day, everything was ready- we opened the coffin. The co-director came and said, “Liu Yuning-laoshi, please (lie down).” Ahh? I said, “No problem” and climbed in. I went in, but asked, “After it’s closed, it’s going to be 3-5 seconds, and I can come back out, right?” They said, “Yes.” Ok. I went in and laid down. They closed the lid. After the lid closed I don’t know what happened- there was something wrong with the lighting, or the camera wasn’t in the right position- it wasn’t long. Maybe 8-10 seconds, or 20, but no longer than a minute. I was just laying in there, staring at the lid. I was in there. I was waiting. Just staring at the lid. Thinking, “Wow, it’s been so long already. Why aren’t they cueing me?” “They didn’t forget about me and leave, did they?? I’m still in here!?? Don’t scare me!” It probably wasn’t long on the outside, maybe 20-30 seconds, but on the inside it felt like time was passing so slowly. Every second felt longer than it was. When you’re lying in there, you have an inexplicable feeling of fear. It’s lucky that I encountered such a scene at the start of my career, so everything that came after in a similar vein felt acceptable. C: Ning-ge, you discovered the Jade Woman’s Immortal Sutra in there. LYN: And then what, I started practicing it? C: How many red envelopes did you get for lying in the coffin? LYN: Just the one. 

--------- some singing coming up next!

C: You’re trending. LYN: … Really? I don’t believe it. How could I- at my rank- even fancy the notion of having a trending topic?? Stop trying to trick me. I’m not worthy. My rank is too low. LYN: Are you serious? #25? LYN: Why don’t I believe it?? Let me take a look. LYN: :D - /plays celebratory/new year music/

LYN: I really never would have thought. Judging by the radiant smile on my face, you know- C: Quick, fix your hair. LYN: There’s no need. This sort of weird style is what I’m going for. People seek new things. Let’s say I looked normal and was just sitting here in a suit- there’d be no highlight to focus on. This “fried” hair is the way to go. So that people click in and think, “Is this person crazy??” XD

C: Show your talent. LYN: I’m a little tired today… I don’t know if I have enough energy to sing. But since you want me to show my talent, then… I’ll try, Second Aunt. Okay? Let’s do one. // Hold on. Let me find the lyrics.

C: Ning-ge, don’t sing. What if people start running away again? LYN: … You- I know that I’ve ben acting lately, but I’m still a singer. I still have to hold my concert, release my album, and accept OSTs. I still- how could I, as a singer, make people leave BECAUSE of my singing?!? Even if it’s true, you can’t say it out loud. You can’t escape. Just stay here. Friends, how about this, I’m about to show my talent. Because every time I start trending I need to show you respect and to do that I will sing a song sincerely, to brighten your mood, and to express my respect for everyone who has come to my stream. So if I sing a song and you don’t like it or you think it sounds bad, turn the volume down and sit in silence for a bit. When I am done singing I’ll show you the “OK” sign, and you can turn the volume back up and I will continue to chat with you all. Okay?

C: It dropped to 27. LYN: I haven’t even started singing yet, so that drop has nothing to do with me. It used to be that when I was trending, I would sing a song. But as soon as I started singing- GWA- I dropped off the trending topics list. I choose to believe that was a coincidence.

LYN: Lets sing a song. - /clears his throat and starts prepping for an opera/musical XD/ LYN: I’m a little tired. I don’t know if I can sing it well, but just listen for entertainment. The way I sing during my streams is not representative of my real skill, friends. I’m sure there are plenty of producers secretly watching my stream on the down-low. If that’s you, I want you to please remember: All the songs I sing during my stream are for bringing happiness. It does not represent my actual singing skill. If you have any jobs for me, please still continue to be in contact. I just don’t want this to affect my market value. You can do anything but cut-off the way I make a living. -- 笑红尘 (Laughing at the Mundane World)

LYN: Thank you~ This is the version I sang at an event. I was looking through my playlist on my phone the other day and found this song, so I copied the track over. Now I can sing it for you during my streams. I hope you like it. LYN: Did my trending topic drop? No, right? C: Second Aunt says it sounds good! LYN: It didn’t drop though, right?

C: It sounds like flowing electricity. LYN: Your standards are so high. Our main focus today is the sound of electricity. 

C: Second Aunt says, ‘Another song!” LYN: Another? What should I sing…? How about this- I think I sang it once but not very (well)… -- Above Jianghu (就在江湖之上) [Mysterious Lotus Casebook OST] LYN: For this song, I can say I killed it. The original singer can’t do it better than me.

C: Ning-ge, “Music is a man’s greatest cosmetic medicine.” LYN: … Are you trying to say… that when I was singing you saw a bit of charm in me, but now that I’ve stopped I look really bad? Is that what you mean? /sigh/ - /lets the lyrics speak for him? ~ As long as I don’t care, nothing can hurt me ~/ LYN: If you’re going to be like that, friend- the internet is full of terribly timed photos of me. People are good at finding my dead angles and taking pictures of me from them, and then posting them online. If you’re going to be like that then every time I’m filming, if I feel like someone is trying to take pictures of me, I’ll start singing. I’ll do some cosmetic medicine right then and there. Even if the pictures look like this- /makes funny faces/- then my fans can explain for me, “Oh, Ning-ge, was singing. He doesn’t look like that usually; he only has that expression when he’s singing. That’s why it came out ugly. Be more understanding. Who can keep a straight face when they’re singing?” It sounds doable. At least now my fans will have an excuse to use. It makes sense, right?

LYN: I’m already used to this, though. Because ever since I started acting as the male lead, on the first day of filming the first thing that comes out is ugly photos. But I know I don’t look handsome, so I acknowledge it. I’m just average-looking. But that doesn’t mean that you can treat me this way. Also, it’s not as if I’m trying to get through this industry on my visuals. I can’t. That path is closed to me. I’m just trying to get by. But it’s okay, because I always monitor my performance. If I discover a scene where I am ugly to the point where it will affect the visuals of the drama as a whole, I will get on my knees and beg the director to please delete that scene. “Director, I’m sorry. Please delete this scene. Don’t let it affect the quality of the drama.” LYN: Don’t take that seriously. Please don’t. Sometimes I just say nonsense. LYN: I know I look kind of weird, but it’s okay. I will just focus on doing well on acting. 

C: Is Hengdian really cold right now? LYN: It’s alright. These two days we’ll be filming in a tent, so the temperature is ok. It’s warm. LYN: I’m planning to start wearing my thermals tomorrow, though. I feel more secure wearing them.

------- his acting journey

C: Ning-ge, why do I get the feeling that you are still not used to filming? LYN: ? Did I see that incorrectly? I’m used to filming already, but at the start it’s true that I wasn’t. My very first drama- the one with HZT- that was the first time I ever shot a drama. At the time it was very unnatural. I didn’t have a sense of confidence. 1. I didn’t actually know how to act. 2. Once you’re in the crew you’ll feel like everyone around you is a celebrity. (You’re starstruck.) Honestly. Most of my scenes were with HZT or ZXY. But when I first entered the crew I thought of them as celebrities. I acted as Wei Chengfeng and was meek- I was super nervous when I had to act in a scene with them. Before we start recording, we’ll go through the scene first: reciting lines, checking for smoothness, walk to our positions, checking for any problems before we start filming. When I had to go through my lines with them I was so timid. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing. What if they yelled at me? At the time I thought HZT had a bad temper. I was worried he would yell at me. For this drama, I was really unconfident. LYN: I wasn’t used to acting. That was a period of time I was under a lot of pressure. I didn’t think I would get another chance to be an actor after that drama. I just thought I would shoot it, and since we didn’t know how it would be received, I didn’t know if I would get another chance to act again. So I just did the one- Hot Blooded Youth.

LYN: After, I didn’t think that I would have a chance to be an actor. But then another drama, UN- the second drama I filmed- came to me because Bai-laoshi gave me a chance, and asked me to play as Hei Yanjing. I agreed, and tried it. I didn’t know that so many people would like the character so much. But even after filming that drama, I didn’t think I had a chance at becoming an actor. It’s not that I didn’t want to be, I just didn’t think the opportunity would ever come to me. I didn’t have resources, and my company at the time was still YY, the streaming platform. Acting wasn’t really on my mind, then. I didn’t have any confidence.

LYN: The third drama was CGX, and after I shot that drama I started to think that maybe I DO have a chance, and I WANT to be an actor. I’ve been shooting drama after drama since then, so you might ask me if I’m nervous when I have to film. There’s no way I can NOT be nervous. Because for every drama you enter, you’re trying out a new role. There’s a period of adaptation. You have to make sure you are receptive. You have to know the other actors level of performance and their style, their rhythm for reciting lines. The director’s preferred filming methods, or how they understand the character. You have to be quick to adapt to how the director thinks. When I first enter a drama crew, there is a nervousness there. It’s not a physical nervousness, but you have to be on high alert so that you can quickly adapt to the character and environment; so that you can work together will the rest of the actors and get through the drama smoothly. It’s about how well we all work together. 

LYN: That’s why I haven’t felt like streaming in the past couple of days. When the drama first starts filming we’ll only do a few scenes to start, because all the groups are trying to figure out how to work together. We’ll shoot a few scenes to see if the the actors are in the right condition and the characters are coming off as planned. Once we’ve got the character set and the right conditions are met- and even before that- with the costuming. We might come out of wardrobe, hair and makeup looking great. But once we’re seeing it through the camera, with all the lights, it might look wrong. I always think I come out of makeup looking nice, but once I get to set look like a ghost. So it needs to be quickly adjusted. Even hair- sometimes it will look like the wig is missing a piece, and needs to be fixed. The first few days of filming are pretty nerve-wracking because we are all adjusting. Later it goes much more smoothly.

----- Yan Zijing (ZLYM) vs Liu Yuning

C: Yan Zijing is pretty handsome. LYN: Ah… He’s okay. I will try not to influence your thoughts- my fans, of course, will not care either way. But the best thing I can do is make sure that any passersby who might watch the drama are not turned off/negatively influenced by our comments. I’m confident I can do at least that.

C: YZJ has a lot of money, right? LYN: This character is very wealthy, yes. It’s not only that he’s wealthy- he’s not lacking money- but also that he has a brain for making money. Despite that, he has other pursuits in mind. Money is not very important to him. He’s just using it to fulfill a different desire. There’s something else he wants to do. The money isn’t all that important to him. Also- in that period of time, what’s the money going to do for him? It’s not like now- he could buy an iPhone with it. If you have money now, you can buy a house in Beijing or Shanghai. But in the old days, even if you had money there’s nowhere to spend it. It doesn’t matter how much money you had, it’s not as if you could just go out and buy two computers with it. XD At the most, you could eat better? But some regions were poorer, and you can’t buy what’s not there, so I guess you couldn’t even do that. So it doesn’t really matter how much money you have. LYN: That’s why there’s an old saying that money is just a material object. But now it’s not the same- money is everything: white shirt, expensive shoes, beads (XD), an iPhone to stick in your pocket, some computers, a house you can renovate really nicely, an elevator in your house, air conditioning- all of that costs money. Even if you had money in the old days, there was not much luxury you could spend it on. LYN: Now if you have some spare funds, you can get yourself some Pomellato, or something. :) Wear it on your hands, hang it around your neck. If you get thirsty you can buy some Chunzhen to drink. If you’re afraid of being hit by wind and sun you can buy some skincare, like L’Oreal. Right? Nowadays we have plenty of places to spend our money. People like making themselves pretty, too. Now that life is easier going, everyone can make themselves up, and that’s where Givenchy cosmetics comes in handy. It’s all good- all places to spend money.

C: Marketing with ease. LYN: This is my own stream, and I’m not marketing. This is just… offhandedly mentioning. It’s okay. We’re not talking about any big celebrities or anything. I can just mention them.

C: Does YZJ know martial arts? LYN: He does. LYN is basic, but YZJ is pretty charming. A master of pen and sword. He has intellect and knows martial arts. Maybe not at a very high level, but he knows it.

C: Can he ride a horse? LYN: Yes. Definitely better than LYN can. He can ride.

C: Is he well-educated? LYN: Um... he has talent. Maybe he didn’t have many chances to go to school, but he is a self-learner.

C: Does he know how to pan chuan? (traditionally wooden beads) LYN: He doesn’t do anything that LYN does. YZJ shows up and just starts with jadeite, wouldn’t that be terrifying? The plain type the LYN plays with are beneath him. He’ll be playing with the jadeite and it just shatters in his hands- he can throw it away and find a new string.

C: Does YZJ talk back at people? LYN: If you’re human, it’s only natural to have a temper. 

C: Can he cook? LYN: /laughs/ I can’t keep a little talent for myself??? Just because LYN is a man of many talents, doesn’t mean that YZJ also has to have all of them! YZJ can cook and wrap dumplings. He knows how to cook Northeastern dishes, too?? It doesn’t work that way! LYN: YZJ can sing. He sings popular songs. In the drama he’ll orchestrate a scene where he holds a concert. Is that what you’re getting at??

C: Can YZJ dance? LYN: He probably, based on his figure, does not have that inclination. /sigh/ You want him to dance?!?

C: Does YZJ have abs? LYN: Stop provoking me! What are you trying to get at?

C: Ning-ge, aren’t you supposed to be a merchant from the Western regions? Then wouldn’t you ride a camel? LYN: I ride an elephant, not a camel. It must be elephant. I’ll grab two and ride them.

C: Does YZJ have any bathing scenes? LYN: … I’ll stop spoiling the drama now. We won’t discuss the complexities of the drama, but you asked me about his abilities, so I have generally described them.

C: Can YZJ livestream? LYN: /laughs/ He can even do influencer marketing! Why do you think he has so much money? He must be influence marketing. He finds a driver, fills up a cart of merch for 9.99, and gets to work. He’s a businessman. 

-----

C: What dramas has LYN acted in? LYN: I haven’t been in much. All my previous roles were supporting, so it’s normal that you probably didn’t see me before. I honestly probably didn’t act very well either, so I wasn’t outstanding. That’s why you don’t know me. But it’s okay, because very soon dramas where I am in more of a lead role will be airing. You can take a look, then. YNGS will be airing soon, so you can start from there. If you don’t want to watch any of the old ones, don’t. Just start with YNGS and wait for the future ones. 

C: When is YNGS airing? LYN: Even if I knew I wouldn’t be able to tell you. How can you expect to hear it from me? Do you think I’m really an yxh? I wouldn’t be able to tell you even if I knew- let alone if I don’t know- so don’t ask. When it airs, you’ll be able to watch it. Just wait. 

C: When will TXJ air? LYN: …. SOON. LYN: /sigh/ LYN: Now I’m getting scared.

LYN: /pained/ Let me tell you something- I… my stomach hurts. /laughs at himself/ I was thinking of going to the restroom earlier but I figured I’m trending right now. I feel like if I use the restroom right now it would be impolite. Then it might even affect the upwards trajectory of my trending topic. I was thinking I would hold it, to see if I could force it back… but I can’t hold it anymore. Then, let me play you a video, and you can be alone for a little bit. I need to- please wait for me. I’m sorry. I’m really not doing this on purpose. I’m really not. I’m so sorry. I’ll play you two videos and you can stay here a while. Wait for me just a little while, friends. I’m sorry. Excuse me.

---------- break #1 (it’s an emergency.) LYN: I’m back, friends. C: Did you succeed? LYN: I am all cleared out.

C: Ning-ge, are you full? LYN: ?! /picks up his glass/ Look at how smooth that was- I was ready to pour this glass out on your face. You stay away from me. Online you’re a dragon, but in real life you’re just small and weak. You talk big online. I said “Let me use the restroom” and you asked me “Are you full?”??? [t/n: eat… shit…?] LYN: How wicked… how lacking in respect for others must you be?? 

C: Ning-ge, today is my birthday. Could you wish me a “Happy Birthday”? LYN: Of course I can. Today is Beijing time 2023/11/18, 8:26pm. I wish you a Happy Birthday and I hope that in this new year you can be happy and everything goes swiftly for you. Happy Birthday.

LYN: My stream is a really nice place. This person is celebrating their birthday, and everyone else in the stream is also wishing you a Happy Brithday. This place is so full of love. 

LYN: You’re still spamming?? I already wished you a happy birthday, were you even listening to me? Or are my words just a fart on the wind to you? I literally just said it. I already wished you a happy birthday. You can watch the playback later. 

C: Ge, wish me a happy marriage. LYN: Of course I wish you have a happy marriage. Many of you are getting married, right? Have a happy marriage. I wish you a wonderful married life. 

------- a man not moved by money, who watches some pretty odd sounding mini-dramas

C: Can you sing Above Jianghu (就在江湖之上) again? LYN: Maybe you didn’t hear it earlier, so you want me to sing it again? You really don’t treat me as a stranger. From the tone of your comment, I think you consider me a very good friend, a best friend, the bestest of friends. Because it sort of sounds like I owe you something? If you like the song that much, you can go listen to it on various music streaming platforms. You can go have a good listen. I also really like this song.

LYN: Later when I stop streaming the playback will be up. You can listen to it a another time- even if it’s your second time or thousandth time. It’s all good. Just watch the playback. C: Why don’t you sing it acapella? LYN: …

C: If I give you 1M, would you sing it? LYN: Friends, isn’t this scary? Would I sing it if they gave me 1M? First of all, I’m sure that this friend is very wealthy. They also think that if they give me that much money, I would give in. “You aren’t going to sing? Well what if I give you 1M, would you sing then??” I would. How about this- why don’t you contact my studio account immediately and within 10 minutes we’ll send you a contract. You should sign the contract first and return it to us. A 30% deposit to start would also be acceptable. Right now! You’ll have to excuse me- because this is my own stream so my assistant is not close by. The only thing I have is a small dog, and I don’t think she can do it. Contact my studio and we’ll start our agreement as soon as it’s signed and the 300k deposit is received. We can start right away. The opening notes will start right away. I already have the track prepared. Let’s go through procedures first, though. What do you think? I’ll wait for you. When I receive notice from my studio that we have the money, I’ll be ready to go. I’ll be waiting for you. C: Slash it a little. LYN: You mean that since they are a viewer, I should give them a discount? Alright. We have a little promotion going on, so since you are willing to spend so much I can personally give a small discount. I think I have the right to do that. Let’s say that for every 10k you spend, I’ll give you a 5rmb discount coupon. Alright? Then, since you spent 1M for this song, that would save you… 500 RMB. You can send 1M through officially, and from my personal WeChat I will transfer you 500 back. Ok? Contact my studio first though. LYN: Friends, see? I made money. 1M, just from streaming. XD 

C: Ning-ge! In that case, doesn’t it mean they could add you on WeChat? LYN: You mean to say that they spent 1M, and you won’t even let them add me on WeChat? I can add them! Then, after I send the 500RMB, I can block them! This is a one-time transaction. If you want to hear another, then you can start the process over again. I can still block people, you know. After I add them and send their 500RMB back, I’ll just block them. We do things cleanly and efficiently. 

C: Ning-ge, I’ll give you 2M, come to my house to sing. LYN: … LYN: It’s like this, friends. Don’t listen to the internet when it tells you I drink with people to get my jobs. That’s complete nonsense, so don’t read that stuff and think it’s the truth. I sell my talents, not my body. 2M, to be called to your house?? I don’t accept home-calls. I don’t deliver “take-out.” 

C: 10M. LYN: Why do I get the feeling that in my stream, all the online friends- I never knew what having money was like. But now everyone in my stream is showing off their wealth. Someone was going to give me 1M to sing a song. Someone else offered 2M for me to go to their house to sing. Now someone is offering 10M. Is money just a number to you?? I always hear that saying, “Money is just a number” and now I’ve experienced it here in my stream. Money in your eyes IS just a number. Just a random number you make up for nonsense. I saw someone say they’d offer 100M. I won’t go even for 100M, because it’s not even worth that much money. I don’t think I can provide you service worth 100M.

LYN: Friends- I know people in this industry who have been telling me that I can make a lot of money doing mini dramas. I didn’t really understand it at the start. People invest so much money to make a drama good, but why is it that these dramas that people spend so much time, effort, and money on don’t seem to air well. Yet on the other hand, why do the dramas that are roughly put together, where you can spend 7 days to shoot very many episodes, have a very good market? Today, because of this stream, I know why. It’s because everyone likes the instant gratification. - /describes a mini drama he’s watched (?) where someone gets hit by a car and when they come back to their senses the world has shifted. Money has appreciated. So now the paycheck they were on their way to deposit into the bank for the 3k they used to make a month is now BIG BUCKS and all of a sudden they are super wealthy because of it./ LYN: Isn’t that instant gratification? You watch and you keep on watching. LYN: I’m sure that mini dramas do have a good market. 

LYN: There’s another one- I watched a different one… - /starts describing a drama with an abusive husband, who later ends up in the hospital. his daughter comes and pulls his oxygen mask off, effectively killing him. But after he dies, he time travels back to twenty years before. but he now has guilt for how he treated his wife, so he vows to start treating her better. through what he remembers of his past (currently his present) he finds ways to make more and more money (via lottery, investments, etc.), to give his family a new life./

LYN: I watched another one a few days ago- I seem not to watch anything normal… - /describes a modern drama where a girl was taking video of her family’s construction project, and backs into who she believes is just a construction worker. she propositions him and tell him she’ll give him 10k/month if he marries her, because her family will only let her inherit her family fortune after she’s married. they get married within the first 10 minutes of the first episode. after they’re married she finds out he’s one of the richest guys in the city, and he was just taking a look at his property when she bumped into him, she proposed to him, and he agreed to marry her. she thought he was just a poor worker but slowly comes to realize his real identity./

LYN: Anyway- that’s why I feel like the tune of my stream has suddenly changed. “100M” comes so easily out of your mouths. To you, 100M is just a number.

C: Ning-ge, I’ll give you 10B to watch you act. LYN: /unhinged giggle/ LYN: That’s enough.

C: Ning-ge, I’ll be more realistic- 3k. Will you come or not? LYN: 3k is okay. It’s acceptable. I can sing for you, but I don’t have the time. Let’s talk again when I do.

LYN: Okay. You can stop trying to trick me now. Ten minutes have passed and my studio has not contacted me. They haven’t notified me about your contract, so… there’s no helping it. I won’t be singing. You can watch the playback later.

LYN: It’s not to say that I am someone who is moved by money. I just think you should save it for better things. I’m afraid you really would waste your 1M. When I stop streaming you can watch the playback. It’s not good to spend 1M just like that. If I were to lecture you- don’t you think it would be a lot better if you donate it? You’d spend 1M just to listen to a celebrity sing? You must be crazy. There are so many children going hungry- you should be doing something about that! Am I right? Don’t spend your 1M willy-nilly. Do something meaningful with it. This is not the way to spend money. If you really have it, you shouldn’t spend it this way.

----------

C: Is Dandong’s food mostly sweet? LYN: Not particularly? Most of it is based on salty, but we do put some sugar, and that’s very normal. Sweet. Sweet and Sour. Spicy. Rich. It depends. Every restaurant has their own way of cooking. 

C: Ning-ge, in your last stream you said you’d order malatang for us. LYN: I said in my last stream that in my next one I would order malatang for you, did I? It’s like this… I don’t really have the funds. I was thinking if that 1M contract for singing Above Jianghu came through, I really would order malatang for you. I wouldn’t think it a waste if I even ordered two bowls for you. But I was not able to make that money this stream. I have to pay for the electricity, my makeup, the wig, my new clothes, performance fees- I haven’t made my capital back. So I’m sorry- we’ll have to do a raincheck on the malatang. I’ll keep it in my mind, though. If I promote dramas in my upcoming streams and I make some money from them, I’ll take a portion of that money out for you. I’ll raffle it so you can buy malatang. Okay? I don’t have the money for it today. I don’t really want to start a fight about it- otherwise when I think about streaming I’ll feel a sense of terror. 

LYN: Someone just asked something very… naively. They said, “There are about 20M people watching your stream, so if each of them gave you 1RMB, wouldn’t you have 20M?” Friends, don’t you think what they’re saying makes sense? If everyone gave me one dollar, I would have millions. I’ve thought about this ever since I was little. If China has a population of 1.3billion people and each of them gave me one dollar, wouldn’t I have 1.3B dollars? Let me tell you- that thought alone is enough to write up a drama script. There’s a man called “Xiao Shuai”. He puts an d out across the country, that reads every person should give him one dollar. That way, he could become a billionaire. I also thought about this when I was a kid- if everyone on earth gave me a dollar I’d be a billionaire. Is there anyone else present that has also had this thought before? LYN: It’s a thought I only had when I was a kid, but because of that comment I’m realizing that maybe it is possible. 

C: You’re using a wine glass to drink tea? LYN: It’s all about the ceremony of it. While I drink tea, I even have to listen to LYN’s songs.

---------- politics of the entertainment industry

C: Ning-ge, has anything fun/interesting happened during filming? LYN: ... Yeah. // But we only just started filming two days ago. Even if I did have something fun to say, it wouldn’t be very funny. LYN: Something did happen today that I want to talk about, though. I don’t really like to talk about these things, but I think this one is pretty positive, so I decided to share. I saw that Tang Xiaotian’s fans- I think it was his fans who released it- released an article. I saw it, and it was a nice gesture. Because yesterday the drama was announced, so there were a bunch of articles spreading around that TXT is overpowering me. But I’ve had contact with him and his crew, and I don’t think he is that type of person to instigate any of this. So I saw a bunch of the articles and I really didn’t feel any particular way about them, but his fans are very clear-headed. After I saw their response, I thought “Wow! They’re so open-minded!” They’re so nice! 

LYN: But I also want to say that when you see things like this, you don’t need to get too worked up over it. Because I am someone who made his way up from supporting roles. It’s not many, but I have mostly been taking supporting roles, and only this year have I really started taking leading roles. I understand each of the actors in a drama. I’ve been in the fourth or fifth leading roles, the relatively more side characters, and I’ve even done cameo roles before. What I want to say is every actor in a drama is very important. Also, in order for one person to show what they can do and charm the viewers, it’s all based on four words: based on individual talents. I would never say, “This person’s acting is too good. They’re going to steal my spotlight.” There’s no need. If someone else steals my spotlight, that’s because of my own inability. I wouldn’t tell anyone not to perform to their best in fear of losing attention on myself. No- it’s all based on what you can show for yourself.

LYN: I was a supporting actor for a long time. You have to make every situation mutually beneficial. When you’re running a business, you have to know how to make money in order to know how to distribute it. Acting requires cooperation. Let’s give an example- say you’re a highly skilled martial artist. The strongest in the world. You stand five meters in front of me and “push” me- just like this /acts out the motion/. Let’s say I am the opponent. In a normal situation, I would be pushed flying. But say I don’t cooperate with you and I just: /looks down at his chest where the blow presumably lands/ “Ouchie”. Would you still think this person is the strongest martial artist? /gives a non-reaction/ “Ouchie.” /hisses/ “Oh. That hurt a little.” Do you get what I’m trying to say? So for every scene, it requires the actors to cooperate with one another. Only then can you create something brilliant, something good. Everything is like this. It’s not one-sided.

LYN: For the fighting scenes- you know when you slash out and the enemy flies out and spins a bunch of times before they hit the ground? The person getting hit is the one whose martial arts are the highest! What skills do we as actors have? The actors who spin a bunch of times before hitting the ground are truly the unbeatable ones! It’s their reaction that makes it seem like we are very powerful. One thing I know deeply about acting is that it is all about mutual support and cooperation. So if there is a role that is truly outstanding and good enough to capture the viewer’s attention, I think that’s great. It’s well-deserved and based on your own performing abilities. That’s true for every drama. How well you perform is based on your own ability. What’s the point of caring too much about others? If you can’t perform better than someone else, that’s your own inability. At least that’s what I tell myself. That’s why I never worry when they say others will steal my spotlight. I started out as a supporting actor, so it’s not something I worry about. If they can steal my spotlight, then that just means that I am incompetent. That’s really what I think about it. I just have to keep working hard and make sure I am doing better and better. That’s the best I can do, and that’s enough.

LYN: So if you encounter this type of situation again, there’s no need to fret or get nervous. I know what I am in a drama crew to do- all I have to do is take my work seriously. Let’s not worry about all the nonsense and rumors online, because they’re a normal occurrence. I’m sure that if they stop discussing me, very few people would even know who I am. Even if I become known to some people as a “very ugly man”, then at least they would still know me. It’s alright. It doesn’t matter.

C: You’re not working? LYN: I just came back! But I saw a notice on my phone that I have to be in hair and makeup at 5am tomorrow. I have a bit of an early start tomorrow, so I will just chat for you a while longer and then go. Okay? I’ll stay with you a little longer before I wash, look over the script, and sleep for I can get up early. 

LYN: Of course, this bears repeating. All that I said before was only about myself. I’m not trying to throw shade on any other person. And if you think I was, then you’re overthinking it. I was only talking about myself. If one day I am overpowered by someone else, that’s only because I was incompetent. I’m ugly. I’ll admit it. But I was not throwing shade on anyone else. Please, PLEASE- don’t mess with me.  

LYN: Even before, when I said if one day YNGS airs and FYL decides to release articles like that, I would hit him. That’s all a joke, because I am really close to him. We have a really close relationship! In Hengdian when we have nothing else going on, we even go out to eat together. We’re friends! But through this I understood something that I didn’t think about before. That is- the relationship between people, and the relationship between people and the entertainment industry. All of the people I can mention in my stream are people I am very close with. We talk a lot in private and can be considered good friends. But once you take that relationship and put it in front of the masses, it becomes uncomfortable. So ever since, I don’t really like to talk about my friends. But in reality, we are really very close in private. Sometimes I feel like maybe it’s not very good (to talk about my friends), because people are always trying to find something to use against you. To say that I am of bad character or something. But honestly- maybe I do have a bad personality? That’s why in the future I will stop or very rarely mention my friends again.

LYN: If there is something fun I’d like to share, I can use other ways to replace that friend’s name. I won’t name them specifically. Honestly we’re all pretty close in private- me and some friends. But there are discussions online that will inevitably make me want to try to… avoid conflict? I just don’t know what the other party is thinking, so because of the discussions we will start contacting each other less. They might think differently than I do. With some people, you can tell it to them straight, “(I heard this but) It’s nothing. I’m not overthinking it.” but with others it is harder to be direct with them. So… /sigh/ I’ll stop mentioning these friends again. I’ll only talk about myself. Even if I do mention my friends, it will only be to compliment them. :) 

LYN: Even today, FYL reached out to me to ask me where I was. I told him I was in Hengdian, and he said he’d come find me on the weekend. Honestly, we’re all good friends. I can only joke around with them like this if we’re good friends.

LYN: I really want to share fun stories about this industry with everyone, because honestly I am just a very ordinary person. When people talk about a pu-xin-nan, that’s me. The “most trustworthy man in all the world.” (普天之下最适合信任的男人) I’m just an ordinary person, and one day I won the lottery and got a chance to become a celebrity, and started acting and singing. After I was able to do these things, I thought it really meaningful. So I want to share about the people I’ve met in this industry and the fun things that have happened here to people who might be curious about it. I want you to know more about it, yet it seems like there are some people who are also gatekeeping the information. After I tell you about it, it becomes a bigger topic of conversation. Even when I talk about myself, people say that I am being low; but I don’t understand why. I think that every industry plays by its own rules, so I’ll just try my best to stick to them. Next time I’ll just stick to sharing/commenting on my own business. I won’t talk about anyone else anymore. LYN: Not only am I a pu xin nan (普信男), I am also a ma bao nan (妈宝男). (哎哟妈呀! 宝藏男孩. / My goodness! A treasure-boy.)

-----

LYN: There’s another thing I don’t really understand- my friends or my fans like to post things in the Super Topic, to help ensure that people are discussing me. After they post, sometimes I go into the Super Topic to thank them for posting, and while I’m there I reply to people. I share what I ate or watched recently, things like that. As an artist or a “celebrity”, I think that if I am able to do something for my fans or people who like me, I should do it. If someone gave me 2M to go to their house and sing them a song, I wouldn’t be able to do it. But if I can respond to your post or message you in the fangroup, I would do it. Yet inexplicably interacting with my own fans is also considered “low”. They say I’m just using you to drum up numbers. ?_? I don’t really understand this. LYN: My fans do a lot for me- they organize so much and stay up late at night, and they do so much for me. And I can’t even reply to them??? Is that wrong of me? I have to be high and mighty and act like a “celebrity” and not interact with them? And if I do, that’s considered “low” of me???

LYN: What sort of logic is that?! Somehow it makes sense and there’s a consensus that it’s not allowed. I just think that’s really strange. Let’s say you have a decent paying job, but you have a friend who’s not making as much and they keep treating you out to eat. One day, you treat them back. It’s not allowed. // Honestly, I’ve always thought that no matter if I am an artist, actor, or singer, we’re all doing the same thing- customer service. To put it nicely, we are playing it up for all the audiences. We work hard so we have something to show to everyone. That’s putting it nicely. If we’re being honest, it’s just customer service, isn’t it? It’s all the same, really. I used to be a waiter in a restaurant. Now I’m a waiter in the entertainment industry. It’s the same- customer service is the key. We “wait on” all the people who like us, because who would you even be, without them? LYN: It’s okay, though. I’m not really bothered by it. Otherwise I wouldn’t be telling you this so calmly. I understand a little more, now. That it is better to say less, to lessen the chances of something being taken the wrong way. I can tell you about my own stuff, sure, but I won’t be talking about anyone else from now on. I can talk about myself. 

----- Daimi chat

LYN: This comes up because of the fan support for the drama, that was later cancelled. But I heard people made Daimi banners, and some of me. I hear that Daimi’s were very professional… and mine less so. When the fans were handing them out, they didn’t want mine. They wanted Daimi’s. “I’ll trade two of LYN’s for one of Daimi’s.” I’m being overpowered by my own dog. In my fans’ hearts my dog is more important than I am. /sigh/ from today moving forwards I’m going to start messing with her. LYN: Where did she go? // She’s sleeping in the house somewhere. Let’s not call her. 

C: Call her over to play. LYN: Let her sleep, she’s had a long day. When I get up to work, she comes with me. She probably wakes up even earlier than I do. When she reaches the hair & makeup room, she needs to greet everyone present first. There are about 20-30 people in that room- she greets each and every one. During the process, there are a few makeup artists that really like her and will prepare treats for her. She gets up in the morning to get breakfast from the makeup artists. They’ll give her sausages, and then some have an egg for breakfast- they’ll give her the yolk. I’ve never taught her anything like how to shake, sit, lay down, roll over, turn a circle. I’ve never taught her any of that, because I wanted her to have a happy puppyhood. I didn’t want her to have to sell her talents for food. I didn’t want to maker her go through that. But now after spending time with the makeup artists every morning, she’s learned how to shake. After my hair and makeup is done and she’s finished her breakfast, we get on the car to head to set. When she’s on set, she has to sit around- she has to wait for me to wrap up for the day before she can go home with me. It’s tiring, for a small dog. LYN: These past few days I feel like she’s not comfortable (?)- because she always sleeps on my bed. D: But after a while- if she hasn’t had a bath- I don’t really want her to sleep on my bed. She’ll usually find a corner to sleep in. But since she’s been running around, I think she’s gotten dirty so I don’t want her to sleep on my bed. So I bought her a dog bed- one with a roof. It’s said that dogs under 20lbs can live in it. It’s a large, and stated dogs under 20lbs can fit, so I bought it. It arrived yesterday and I discovered- only her butt can fit in it. So I bought another one. I’m very good to my female artist. I bought a bigger one- one that 50 lbs and under can fit in. LYN: I bought it in a size too small. Why don’t I raffle it? I’m being serious. If you have a small dog at home, I can take the one I mistakenly bought and raffle it.

C: How heavy is Daimi? LYN: She’s not very heavy- only in the tens? But everyone who touches her says the same thing: she feels like a rock. Is that something you would use to describe a dog?? Probably not, right? At most it would be “This dog is quite fat.” but people call her stone-hearted! She’s quite round, so she feels very sturdy- like a rock.

---------- ning-ge's autobiography

C: Are you shooting your new drama yet, ge? LYN: …No, I’m at home picking my feet. I don’t know if you’re a student or if you have work? If you’re a student then do well in your studies so that when you grow up you can develop well and become a big boss. When you have the chance you can invest in your Ning-ge. Okay? Jiayou. If you’re working, then do well at work. Find stable footing and make your way up. One day when you become the top you can lead me, okay? I’m counting on you. My future depends on all of you. LYN: I had friends who said, “Ning-ge, I’m in high school” or “Ning-ge, I’m going to college now. I can’t watch your concert. I’m a student.” I told them, “It’s okay. When you graduate from school, get a job, and are making your own money, you can come watch my concert then. Don’t come watch me when you’re still a student. Live a good life and learn well in school.” I’ve been waiting for the past three years. Almost four. I had my first concert when they just got into college. Now you’re about to graduate. If you still say that you’re a student, there’s no more excusing it away. You should be working about now, and you can make money. When it’s time for my concert you should be able to come watch it. C: Ning-ge, I’m a sophomore in college. LYN: It’s okay. No need to rush. I know a lot of you are university or high school students- some of you might even be in middle school. But I want to say- especially those of you who are in college-  that I really think you’re amazing. Because I didn’t go to college. So I’m jealous of people who are highly educated, but I also admire you. I’m sure that all of you who are in college right now will make it big one day. You’ll have wonderful growth/development. So I hope you learn well and gain knowledge. One day when you are doing very well in society, remember to give me a hand. Remember me, okay? I’ll wait for you. There’s no rush. LYN: Right now your Ning-ge, can still make a living. I can still work, still act, still sing. I’ll wait for you to develop, until the day that you can lead me, okay? 

C: Ning-ge, we are not as outstanding as you. LYN: You’re wrong. It’s like this- some of you may be thinking, “I’ve put in just as much effort as you have, but I’ve gotten nowhere. How do you expect me to lead you?” It’s like this- I cannot deny that whether being an artist or a celebrity, our incomes may be higher than those of you with normal jobs. Right? I can’t deny that. But here’s something to consider: how many wealthy people in the world are celebrities? Let’s not even talk about in the world- how many in China alone are celebrities? How many artists are in the Top 100? I’m asking you. If I asked you, who’s the hottest artist on weibo right now, you might be able to answer. But if I asked you who the richest person in the world is, you might not be able to answer. Why? Because artists are always under the public eye, so people know of them. But honestly you can make money in every/any industry. I was telling you before, wasn’t I? If you sell Chinese pancakes you can make 30k/month. I’m being serious. The major that you’re learning in school- I’m sure that at the top of whatever industry you chose, you’d be making more money than I am as an artist. What I’m trying to say is that the people you see appear to be well-off, but when you really think about people who have money… they come from all industries. Just keep working on your profession of choice, and if you make it to the top I’m sure you will be just as successful. Of course, money is not the scale for which you measure success. But it’s also very important to have money. So, learn well. 

C: Minimum wage is so low. LYN: I can’t comment on that, but let me tell you about when I was learning to be a cook. I learned in culinary school for two years. One year of tuition was 1700. I thought that after two years of learning I would be able to jump straight into a restaurant and start cooking and earn 3-5k/month. I learn for two years and do you know what happened after? I got hired in a restaurant to wash the vegetables. To prep the fish. To clean the shrimp. Prep the veggies. I did that for a little over a year. My wage was 200/month. Not including food or housing. The restaurant only took care of- two or three meals, I forget. But it was never anything good. Let’s say they have a batch of kidney beans that aren’t too fresh- we’d prep them and they would become the employee meal. Things like that. 200/month, but they would take 180 as a deposit. That was in the early days- in the early 2000’s. Only 20 of it would make it to your pocket. C: What was the deposit for? LYN: The deposit was because they were afraid you would steal the dishes. Afraid you’d be working and steal a dish. Steal a pot. Or take 2 or 3 ribs. A rack of ribs is a couple hundred dollars, right? They were afraid we’d take 2 or 3 and run off with it. The deposit was for anticipated losses. And then- they would dock you pay for the smallest infraction. A lot of you may know that I have an experience- it’s haunted me to this day. I was working in a restaurant. It was a little over a year since I’d been working there, and through my talent and wits- I don’t know about anything else, but I can learn fast! I spent three months there and went from washing the vegetables, to washing vegetables AND prepping dishes. Let’s say for example you want a plate of fried shrimp- I would season it with salt and spices and add the starch. If any of you are cooks, you would know. In any case, my salary didn’t rise, but the amount of work I had to do did. One day, our restaurant was preparing for a wedding banquet- you know the kind. The customer reserves four tables, and all the dishes served to those tables are the same. I was in charge of frying the meat. Battered Fried (Meat of Choice). It’s the lean meat you eat in hotpot, really. I had a huge pot of meat and I was adding ingredients to it- the salt, msg, pepper, cooking wine, etc. I was mixing it, and started to create the batter- just egg, cornstarch, and oil. I fried a whole pot. That was my first time cooking so much of it at once. You can imagine- the lot had to be separated onto four plates. So I cooked all servings at once.

- /comment that asks what “msg” is, but that’s only because they call it by another name in the North/

LYN: So I fried a whole pot of it and that day I didn’t really think. It was cooked and fried, and sitting there. So I thought I would try a piece. I wanted to know if it was too salty or not enough, and I didn’t want anyone to complain about me. So I took a small piece from the side- the whole of it probably cost 2k or more. But I took a small piece to try. Coincidentally the boss walked in right at that moment. They came from the back kitchen and saw me try that piece of meat. They saw me and I saw them, but I didn’t think anything of it. I was just trying the dish! I tried it and thought, “Oh, not bad.” It was delicious! The salt was just right, the pepper added a hint of spice, and the batter was fried just right- crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. It was seasoned perfectly and the texture was spot-on. I was proud of myself for frying so much and not messing it up. But that restaurant didn’t allow the cooks to sneak a bite. The higher ranked chefs could, of course, because they needed to test the dish. But that day I was in charge of frying the meat- me, with my 200/month salary. I was not considered a high ranked chef, but I was already in charge of a lot. They just didn’t give me a raise for it.

LYN: I didn’t think anything of it. But then later that night the head chef came over and told me, “Xiao Ning, come here.” I went over, expectant. “What’s up? Did the customers compliment the meat I fried?” I had always seen that in high-end restaurants when the customer was done with their meal they’d ask for the chef and thank them for making such a lovely meal for them. Aren’t a lot of high-end restaurants like that? They thank the chef and it’s a sign of respect to them. I was actually kind of touched when I asked, “What’s up? Was it good? Do they want to thank me?” I said, “I won’t go out. Why don’t you go out and accept the thanks on our behalf?” XD But he said, “Today the boss saw you eat a piece of the meat.” I explained that I was testing the seasoning, because I wasn’t sure how it came out. Because I was frying them by batch- it’s not as if I could fry all of it at once. If the first batch came out and it was too salty, I could adjust for the next batches. If it was too bland, I could add some salt. If the flavor of the pepper wasn’t strong enough, I could add more. I explained that I only tried a piece to guage the flavor.  He told me, “I know. But the boss saw and wanted me to let you know they will dock you 200.” I said, “Ge, 200 is all I make in a month. If you dock me 200, I would have worked this month for nothing.” He replied, “There’s no helping it. The boss said so.” /sigh/

LYN: And then... I just accepted it. Because I was just a worker. It was either that, or quit. I steeled myself up and told them I wanted to stay, and that I was there to learn before I quit. So I stayed for a little over a year. It was really a blow to the younger me. I was fresh out of school and that was the moment I really felt how cruel this society could be. They don’t care about your feelings, and they don’t care about what really happened. In this game, you are on the lowest level and you abide by the rules. Whatever they say goes. You have no power to fight back. The only choice is to stop working. But there’s another rule: You can quit, but you have to let them know one month in advance. Even if you wanted to quit, you’d still be stuck working there for another month before they let you go. Do you get the logic? Otherwise, they wouldn’t give you your deposit back. You can quit, but you have to let them know so they can find someone to replace you. I get it. It’s reasonable. But that month I didn’t have any money. If I wanted to quit, I would still have to work another month for nothing. If I just straight out left, they wouldn’t have given the deposit back. It’s just that cruel.

LYN: Someone said that minimum wage is so low. I’m not trying to tell you to… accept fate. That’s not what I’m trying to do. I just want to let you know how cruel society can be. 

LYN: But right now is a lot better than before. College students are much better off. Why? Because the skills you’re currently learning can be applicable towards jobs. You wouldn’t be like me, who could only go wash vegetables in some back kitchen to start. That would be a waste of your degree. Your starting point would be something related to your major, right? So the environment would be a lot better than mine. It wouldn’t be as cruel as my experience, so you don’t have to be afraid. 

C: Ning-ge, bosses with such narrow minds can’t run a business for long. LYN: Not necessarily. I went back to my hometown the year before last and their business was booming. I was driving past it and I could see that there was a line out the door. Really. So there’s no need to say that bosses with narrow minds can’t run a business for long. Honestly, it’s not entirely true. The world isn’t as nice as you imagine it to be. C: How infuriating. LYN: They’re still open! But it’s not important. I just think that these situations are very normal. After 1.5 years prepping ingredients, I made my way up to zan-rank! This doesn’t count as self-praise- but I’m a really fast learner! And, I am very adaptable. After a year and a half, I made it to zan-rank. It usually takes three years, but I did it in a year and a half! What does it mean? Let’s say the criminal- I mean, the customer!- wants to order. As the zan-bam your job is to /prep the ingredients and give it to the head chef, prep that plate and make sure nothing falls off of it, then hand the plate to the servers who give it to the waiters, who bring the plate to the table/. I made it to this rank and my salary had raised to 400/month. I used 1.5 years to double my salary. Friends, aren’t I hardworking? How many of you can say you’ve done the same? You must be dreaming. LYN: And then! I was in that rank for 2-3 months before I figured I had little to no chance of becoming head chef. It’s sort of in line- if your superior doesn’t move, you will never get the chance to cook. Not only will you not get to cook, you wouldn’t even have the chance to PRACTICE cooking. You can’t just come up and cook. There’s a training process- you have to know HOW to cook, starting from vegetables, then meats, then fish, and etc. You make your way up. But you won’t even have that, if the head chef doesn’t want you to. I had no room for improvement or advancement there. In the end I got to 800/month. But that was the limit. 

LYN: Right around then I had a friend. His uncle was opening a restaurant in Shenzhen. He said, “Xiao Ning, do you have the guts. Let us young folk go out and do something with ourselves. Let’s go.” I asked, “Where are we going?” and he replied, “Shenzhen.” I told him, “I’ve grown to this age and I’ve never been away from home. I haven’t even been to Shenyang. Me, from Dandong, has never even been to Shenyang. You want me to go to Shenzhen??” C: His uncle? LYN: Yes! One of my classmates- his uncle has a restaurant in Shenzhen. The point was that we’d go there to work and make money. So I went. He gave me 600/month. /claps/ In Shenzhen! LYN: “Da Ye” is “Bo Bo”. Usually your dad’s older brother. We call them “da ye” here.

LYN: We went and sure enough, my salary raised. To 600/month. In Shenzhen. INCLUDING food and housing! It wasn’t bad, either. It specialized in Jiangxi cuisine, and that’s why I’m more familiar with it. It’s very spicy! That was my first time eating more Southern dishes- Jiangxi cuisine. We ate chilies every day. But once you’re in a new place, there’s no way you’ll be cooking, and there’s no way to be a prep-chef anymore. You just go where you’re needed. When the boss saw me, they figured I looked pretty decent. Let’s put it this way- with my appearance it’s hard for me to make a living in the entertainment industry. But in a restaurant? I’m pretty decent. Among chefs in the cooking industry, I think my appearance is pulling its weight, don’t you think? If someone says, “LYN, you’re too ugly to be an actor!” I will accept it. But if you say, among chefs, “This kid is pretty lively.” Then there’s no contradicting it. The boss thought I looked decent enough. So what happened? You’ve been to those restaurants- the first floor has a big glass window and there are some young kids in chef’s jackets chopping vegetables. /starts naming a bunch of ingredients he would be chopping, and imitates the customers ordering what they want/ I was one of them, and made 600/month. I was a visual. 

LYN: I was in charge of cold dishes and stewed dishes. When I went, I started following a chef who was there to begin with. I could share some of his work. I made 600/month while he made 3800/month. I was concentrated, and went up to him and introduced myself. I let him know that if he needed any help from me, I would give it. He used one week to give me all of his daily work. What a generous guy. They all say that people with skills will never pass them down, but he sure did. All of it. I woke up at 6am every day to start chopping ingredients. After that, I would take the braised items out and make sure to bring the stock back to a boil. Then, I would work on my cold dishes. He would roll in at around 8am with his breakfast and say, “Oh, you’re done? Then, I’m going to eat breakfast.” I replied, “Yes, please do.” We’d eat. Then the customers would come and we’d get right to work. He really wasn’t shy about it. He passed everything down to me.

LYN: We had a bonus where if you bought a plate of cold dish, you could gain 50 cents (salary). So we made a cart full of cold dishes, and they had us push it around the hall, to see if we could sell any to people who wanted a side of cold dish. “If we don’t sell this in the afternoon, it will go bad by dinner. Why don’t you make a round?” So I took the cart, and did my round. But honestly, everyone was almost done eating, why would they even want to- C: Sell one dish, gain 50 cents? LYN: Yes. Ten dishes would be 5 dollars. In a month, that would be 150. I only made 600/month, base rate. If I sold ten dishes a day for a month, I would get an extra 150, wouldn’t I? It’s not small money. So I did my round. The problem is, people normally start off with cold dishes, who wants to order more when they’re practically done with their meal?? No one really ordered any extra. So the income there was actually pretty low. 

LYN: Later, I was thinking, “Shouldn’t I be making some advancements?” I figured I would learn more, so I learned everything they had to teach me. I really do learn quite quickly. With the exception of the spices bag. You’ve all eaten braised meat, right? The only thing they didn’t tell me, was what was in the spice bag. Everything else was allocated to me, with the exception of that spice bag. It was a secret recipe that they didn’t teach me. I worked there for so long, and they never let me in on it.

LYN: On 600/month, I worked in Shenzhen for three months. Then I got a raise- to 800/month. Friends, aren’t I capable? I spent three months to raise my salary by ⅓ of the original rate. How many people can say they’ve done that? Can you? Think about it- at that point I had already graduated from school for almost two years, and I made 800/month. In Shenzhen. Let’s not talk about eating and drinking. If you lived on that salary, would you even dare to go shopping?? Would you dare to buy a pair of pants or shoes? On only 800/month?? /mentions his favorite store because everything in it was discounted 50+% off/ I could buy a few t-shirts, and I wore them beautifully. At that time in Shenzhen, you didn’t go anywhere, let alone shopping. I was happy to be able to afford McDonalds.

LYN: So for the person complaining that after graduating from college that working is difficult and hard…you have to remember these words: “If you cannot handle the difficulties of life, you cannot become a man amongst men.” You always see the better side of life, but never the hard side. Everyone is the same. Once you graduate from school, everything else that comes after comes step by step. If you aren’t prepared, even if the perfect opportunity falls into your lap, you would not be able to handle it.  

C: There is no such thing as “easy” in the world of adults. LYN: Who doesn’t have their own hardships? No one’s life is perfect, it’s just that you are unaware of their imperfections.

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LYN: My studio just notified me and let me know that no one has contacted them regarding a contract for me to sing for them. No one has contacted them. It’s reached this point, so… it’s fine. I probably just encountered a scammer. Since they messed up our collaboration, do you think I could find their username through the playback and then sue them? XD I’ll sue them, and it will be considered a fraudulent business transaction. Do you think I can do that? Do we want to go so far? 

LYN: I know many of you are my new fans, so I wanted to share with you my life experiences that you’ve never heard before. Let’s do this- I know a lot of you are tuning in for the first time. If you think it’s interesting, I can tell you about all the things I’ve done before. What jobs I’ve had, the people I’ve met- I can tell you all about it. You just have to subscribe to my weibo. Okay? It’s about time. Its not about the struggle. I think that every experience I had before I was an artist is really a precious experience. LYN: I’ve seen that people have commented that I am very social. That I’m “greasy”- that it’s clear I know my way around navigating people and have been around. To that I want to say… /sigh/ I haven’t been around. I was just… fighting tooth and tail for a period of time, is all. C: I’ll buy the first autobiography. LYN: My life isn’t interesting, why would I write a book about it??? Stop messing around. Releasing a book, with my education??

LYN: But I do want to say! I didn’t tell you all that because I was trying to make you feel sorry for me. I don’t need to do that, because I’m doing very well for myself now! I have so many fans, and I’m an artist now. I’m past that phase and I’m better off now. I have work to do and dramas to film. I make a fair penny, too. So I’m not trying to play the pity card. I just wanted to share with you what I experienced in the time between graduating and really entering society. I’m sure that none of you are worse off than I was then, making only 600/month. 200/month. At the very least now you would be making 1200-1800/month, right?

LYN: Alright. Many of you probably haven’t subscribed to my weibo yet, but please do. I need to go and wash up before I review my script for tomorrow and get up early. :( LYN: I hope you had a wonderful and relaxing night, and thank you for keeping me company. I hope you enjoyed yourself. Let’s meet again in the next stream. Goodnight, everyone!