#there truly are very VERY few experiences truly unique and that's not a bad thing

[uncanny-tranny]

When I find it hard to do certain things, I like to pretend I am a neanderthal living in a cave with my clan, and I must do The Thing in order to survive.

So, when I'm doing cardio at the gym, I'm actually chasing and tracking a mammoth, and when I need to cook, well, I'm not cooking on a stove top, I am hurdled over the first fire and watching the fat of our kill drip down onto the burning wood. And when I find it hard to crochet, I pretend that the first winter storm is coming and our clan needs me to make blankets to hurdle under and that I must contribute.

I hope whatever you do to do The Things will help. It is a uniquely personable trait to motivate yourself through pretend and stories. That's what makes this life interesting - that's what makes you feel larger than yourself 💛

[factual-fantasy]

Here is your reminder that the Octonauts fandom is going to be PATIENT, will RESPECT your boundaries, will WAIT for your possible return to the fandom, and will NOT pressure you into anything. Any Octonauts fan that does otherwise should not count, because they clearly do not know what it means to be an Octonaut.

An Octonaut is patient, kind, helpful, and respectful, even if things don't go the way they want it specifically. They will care for the creatures(in this case, people) that come to them regardless of how they want their day to go.

Octonauts are selfless; they do not let what they WANT get in the way of what others NEED. They do not prioritize themselves over others. If you never return to the fandom again, THAT IS PERFECTLY FINE. Because that is what I'd best for YOU. It may disappoint some, but as long as you are safe, happy, and healthy, it should not matter what people WANT out of YOU and YOUR art.

If you do decide to come back to us, then we welcome you with open arms. There aren't enough of us to form an overall opinion about the fandom, and sadly bad experiences can taint the entire look of our community.

Trust me, I've had PLENTY of bad experiences myself(probably TMI, but I once had someone DM me to roleplay something where them as Captain Barnacles had insomnia, anxiety, depression, PTSD, and a crap ton of other things and I as Shellington had to comfort him and whatnot. And then Captain Barnacles got his arm ripped off and they never messaged me again. This was on WATTPAD. They have since removed DMs, and I can see why. So bad experiences can definitely ruin one's image of the fandom.)

But if you enjoy the Octonauts and that's what you want to draw, don't let idiots stop you!! Octonauts do not discriminate and any hateful person who calls themself an Octonaut never truly learned what it means to explore, rescue, and protect.

An Octonaut is meant to protect and care for their communities, and unnecessary aggression or rude comments should not be tolerated!!! Not by you or by us! Guilt tripping is not good either!

AND: Remember to drink water, eat food, get some rest, and take time for yourself! Have a lovely day/night factual :3

<XD The Octonauts fandom is a tough subject for me for a lot of reasons.. I guess now would be a decent time to finally open up about some of it..

To start, I have had more art theft/reposters, art tracers, copying/heavily adopting all my headcannon/design choices.. in the Octonauts fandom, more than every other fandom combined. Including FNAF. 70% of the time when someone shows me an account that has reposted my art? Its one of my Octonauts comics.

I'm pretty protective of my work and I like to keep things to myself, so having all of these happen so frequently in this fandom has kind'a spooked me away..

And I get it, the fandom is not that big. Chances are when someone has a different/unique/good idea, everyone is going to adopt it into their Octonauts universe. I get it.. but that doesn't stop me from feeling really uncomfortable about posting Octonauts artwork. And I also get that a lot of the people in the Octonauts fandom are really young and don't realize that reposting is theft, or that blatant tracing is theft. That doesn't stop it from being really frustrating to see and very discouraging.. especially when you say "hey, you traced my artwork, please don't do that.." they just straight up don't listen 💀

What's frustrating is that despite not having posted anything Octonauts related in a long time, I STILL deal with constant theft and art tracers. I had to block a few recently after they denied clearly tracing my art and refused to take anything down.

Not even to mention the people who have bashed me for not head cannoning Kwazii or Calico jack as trans.. I totally understand that its a widely accepted headcannon, but my Jack is just a rare male calico and Kwazii is a regular male tabby/calico mix. The constant "why dont you draw kwazii with top scars?? are you a transphobe?? stop misgendering kwazii he's trans!!" is really annoying..

Another thing that really bothers me is the constant crab comic asks. Despite explaining multiple times that I do not want to continue drawing that comic, I still get constant asks like this,👇

This was sent after a simple eye study of the Octonauts. And it said that I'm still on the fence about Octonauts. What part of that post makes you think I'm gonna go back to the crab comic?

I understand that a lot of these people are young and just don't understand that all this stuff is wrong or could be making me uncomfortable. But currently I just don't have the patience to deal with all this junk.. So until I can get my patience back or find a work around for this, Octonauts is officially back on the shelf. 😔

[lonelywretchjervistetch]

The State Birds Initiative: New Jersey (#3)

Welcome to the third official poll of the State Birds Initiative! Before the poll, though, one thing real quick. My suggestion is that you read the post below before voting in the poll below. That's especially important if you're lacking any context about the birds being presented as the new (or old) State Bird of the Garden State, New Jersey. This is to be fully informed as to why these are being presented, and to make your choices appropriately. Lastly, some of these birds, you will notice, may go against some of the rules listed in the introduction post. All is explained after the jump where the explanations are, I promise you that. But with that...OK! Here's the poll! If you'd like to see the last post, check out Pennsylvania (Poll | Results)

So, with that done...New Jersey.

OK, I'll be honest, I have very little history with New Jersey. Only been there a few times, I've driven through it a decent number of times, and I mostly know it by reputation. But, uh...for whatever reason, every trip I take that requires me to go through New Jersey, NJ is the worst driving portion of that trip. Basically every time. Maybe that's a New Jersey turnpike problem, maybe that's unhappy coincidence. Hell, maybe it's conservation bias from being a New Yorker (upstate, but I've gone to the city regularly throughout my life). Or maybe it really is cultural reputation for New Jersey trickling in to my subconscious (looking at you, Jersey Shore). But either way...I have complicated feelings about New Jersey.

But this post is NOT about my personal geographic experience. Mostly. It's about birds! So, let's get into New Jersey objectively. Third state admitted into the union, state capital is Trenton, largest city is Newark, and it's the most densely populated state in the country. Famous for being the origin of electricity in civic infrastructure, as well as the home of their favorite son, Thomas Alva Edison. Which...when you learn more about the guy, makes you wonder about New Jersey as a whole. MOVING ON! It was a major staging point in the American Revolutionary War, and ever since, it's been all about freedom. Even though you can't pump your own gas there. Although, to their credit, the Statue of Liberty is actually technically in New Jersey waters. Yeah. That's absolutely true. But, like...it's spiritually a New York landmark, so we'll let it slide.

Now, here's the thing about New Jersey, seriously and truly. It has a bad reputation because of media and New York City. This is for two more specific reasons, from what I can tell. One, the New Jersey Turnpike sucks, and it smells like raw sewage due to its proximity to industrial factories and processing plants. And unfortunate way to experience the state, and the main way I've experienced New Jersey personally. So, that's one, and it's not indicative of the state's quality. Number two is simply the fact that it's a hub for commuters, with lots of people going to either NYC or Philadelphia for work. Because of that, Jersey itself gets pieces of their cultures combined, which also makes it a very easy target with a unique accent. So, not Jersey's fault.

In reality, it's quite a nice state with more natural area than you'd expect for somewhere so densely populated. New Jerseyans, unsurprisingly love their state...and aren't big fans of tourists, from discourse I see online. It's a small state, which makes it crowded enough. Plus, there are tourist attractions there. There's the massive American Dream Meadowlands mall, there's MetLife Stadium, there's Six Flags Great Adventure, there's...Trenton. Actually, no, Trenton sucks, I stand by that assessment. But it's also a highly diverse state, with the highest proportion of Hinduism followers in the country, as well as the densest collection of LGBTQ+ social centers (AKA gayborhoods), amongst other things. NJ does deserve more credit.

Now with that said, let's talk about the natural world of New Jersey, because there is a surprising amount to talk about. 45% of the land is covered in mixed deciduous-coniferous forest, which you've probably noticed is typical of the NE USA. Oak is our primary tree here, which is also probably why Northern Red Oak (Quercus rubra) is the state tree. It also has some major ecological features that are well known for its natural advantages. Cape May is a seaside city and vacation resort, but also one of the most well-known and important sites for birders from the United States during migration seasons, making it immediately prominent for this post. Great Swamp NWR in the north is the first wilderness area ever designated by Congress, and also serves as a major refuge for birds during the breeding season for various reasons. And maybe most importantly, the New Jersey Pine Barrens are the largest remaining pine barrens in the NE USA, and act as a bastion of diversity. More on this later, I promise; there's a species entry dedicated to this unique environment.

And that's not all to talk about here. NJ's environment needs some focus for a number of reasons, not least of which being that the state has more toxic waste dump sites than any other state in the Union, which are the focus of the federal Superfund environmental remediation program. Yeah, there's some cleanup that needs to happen in the state, especially as it is so small. Of 150 federally listed sites, only 35 have been cleaned up since the 1970s. So, yeah. We should get on that, please. But with that said, NJ has relatively low carbon dioxide emissions compared to other states, they're seventh in solar power, and get most of their electricity from natural gas and nuclear power. So, it's a greenish state that could be a lot greener.

There's a lot to talk about for such a small state, it would seem. Let's not linger about, and let's get on with the show here! I'm honestly kind of excited. Birds after the jump!!!

American Goldfinch (Spinus tristis)

Let's kick things off by talking about the incumbent, the American Goldfinch (Spinus tristis). Now, why was the American Goldfinch chosen as the State Bird of New Jersey in 1935? Easy answer: favoritism. The bird was nominated as the only candidate by the New Jersey Audubon Society because...it was their mascot at the time. Yeah. That's it. In reality, the New Jersey State Bird is the New Jersey Audubon Society. And even then, it's officially lost its relevancy, because that's not their mascot anymore. More on that later.

What's actually worse about the goldfinch here is...for some reason, not a lot of New Jerseyans have actually seen them. Part of the reason for this entire series, by the way is this Reddit post, which stoked the fires that had long been simmering deep within my soul. OK, not that deep, but still. Anyway, the header of that post is that the OP had barely ever seen an American Goldfinch, despite being a native. I thought that was insane (and said as much in my comments), because this is a ridiculously common bird, especially for birdwatchers. But, uh...I've looked into since then. And only 0.4% of its global breeding population resides in the state. What's crazy is, this is a common sentiment amongst New Jerseyans. They just...haven't seen this bird. And obviously, that/s not every new Jerseyan, and a lot have reported seeing it. But to be honest...is this bird really worth being called the State Bird of New Jersey?

OK, can we make the American Goldfinch make sense in retrospect? Let's see, they're a highly social finch species throughout the year, living in dense colonies in the spring and summer especially. The males are late breeders with ornate flying displays meant to attract females, and may group territories with other males to defend against predators. And they're an open secondary growth forest specialist that live in the state year-round, including during the breeding season. Which means...well, actually, it means that they're perfectly suited to live in New Jersey, funnily enough.

Hear me out here. There are two things that goldfinches love most: forest clearings and weeds. New Jersey may be 45% covered in forest, but it does have deforestation as a minor problem around its settlements. However, that's not a problem for the goldfinch, who thrives in secondary growth forests that occur as a result of succession. Given an attempt in recent decades to recover New Jersey's forests, this means the goldfinch is a potential symbol of these efforts. Plus, its love of the seeds that come from flowers that are pest plants, like dandelion, thistle, ragweed, and cosmos, make it a potentially attractive bird for gardeners of the state to attract, especially as those plants thrive in open fields during stages of succession!

...YES I'M STRETCHING MORE THAN AN AUSTRALIAN BREAKDANCER WITH A DOCTORATE TRYING TO MAKE A POINT, BUT WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS MASCOT OF AN ORGANIZATION NAMED AFTER A SLAVE-OWNER???

So...moving on.

Clapper Rail (Rallus crepitans)

While the majority of natural New Jersey is covered in forest, it still has a fairly important habitat in the form of the saltmarsh. Just to get the definition in place early, a saltmarsh is essentially what it sounds like: a vegetation-dominated coastal biome with salt and brackish water, salt-tolerant grasses and plants, and the animals that depend on such. They're coastline preservers, trapping and binding sediment as it makes its way to and from the ocean, and acting as a major supply for the food web along the coasts. They're incredibly important habitats, and this will not be (and have not been) the last time you've seen them during the State Birds Initiative.

Now, obviously, these habitats are chockful of birds. New Jersey has a few major salt flats along its coast, all of which shelter some major breeding populations of birds. One of these species is the Clapper Rail (Rallus crepitans), which is our eBird-sponsored pick of this poll. Clapper Rails have 13% of their global population in New Jersey saltmarshes, meaning they're quite dependent on this unique habitat, and most of their population breeds in the state. Some people may never have seen or heard of a rail, but in case you're one of those people, just know that they're a smaller semi-aquatic relative of cranes. If you've seen a coot, moorhen, or gallinule, then you've seen a rail! And the Clapper Rail is a crustacean-eating, saltmarsh-loving, new Jersey-dependent example. And that said...it is kinda boring looking to the average person.

Don't take me wrong! For me, this bird is fantastic, and would actually be a lifer for me, personally. But the average non-birder? Look, in instances like this, I usually tap into the part of my brain my fiancee lives in rent-free, and all I can hear is her shouting "LONG DUCK LONG DUCK" over and over. I love these guys, but I'm not sure they'd resonate with the public. Plus, as far as saltmarshes go, these are good representatives, but I'm not sure they're the best. Are these a good New Jersey representative? Possibly, since they represent a major ecosystem in the state, and that is important. But I'll leave that question to you all. Moving on!

Cape May Warbler (Setophaga tigrina)

OK, onto the category of birds that are named after the state, and New Jersey has one of those! The Cape May Warbler (Setophaga tigrina) is so-named because the first specimen described by Alexander Wilson was collected in Cape May, New Jersey by George Ord. That said, it's certainly a unique warbler, easily recognizable, and dependent upon conifer forests dominated by spruce, which the Pine Barrens are...not. Still, an iconic bird in New Jersey! Except...wait, hold on...ah. It doesn't breed in the state. In fact, after it was described from a Cape May specimen, it wasn't seen in the area again for...a century. So...yeah, it's named after a major location in the state, known for birds at that, and yet it's barely found there?Love this bird, but...maybe think about renaming it one of these days.

Pine Warbler (Setophaga pinus)

Now, the Pine Warbler (Setophaga pinus), on the other hand, that's a better warbler representative of New Jersey. Well, sort of. To be fair, the Pine Warbler only has 1% of its global breeding population in New Jersey, so the state isn't a bastion or reservoir for the species. However, there is a major reservoir of the species in the New Jersey Pine Barrens, which I'd mentioned earlier. And hey, Pine Barrens, Pine Warbler...slam dunk for representation of the habitat right there. And yeah, that's absolutely relevant to the species as a whole. They live, eat, and breed in pine-dominated forests, exactly like (and including) the Pine Barrens. It's actually listed as a "Significant Congregation" species by the New Jersey Audubon Society.

And as for making a good State Bird of New Jersey? It's a notable bird, even keeping the goldfinch's yellow with white wing bars. It's not terribly difficult to find, especially during the breeding season in areas like the Pine Barrens. And hey, they're even well-known to live with other species, making them an important biodiversity indicator for conservation purposes. Plus, if people go out to look for the Pine Warbler in the wild, they'll likely encounter other species like the Blackburnian Warbler (Setophaga fusca) or the Tennessee Warbler (Leiothlypis peregrina), amongst others. Fostering interest in birdwatching by chance! It works in a conservation sense...but I don't know that it's particularly emblematic of New Jersey, to be fair.

Northern Harrier (Circus hudsonicus)

Now, here's an interesting choice! If the current State Bird, the American Goldfinch, was chosen because it was the mascot for the New Jersey Audubon Society at the time, then by that logic, their current mascot should actually be the State Bird of New Jersey. And so, in that case, may I present to you the current mascot of the NJ Audubon Scoiety, and the next candidate for State Bird...the...is that a Northern Harrier (Circus hudsonicus)? Yeah, looks like it, and some sources I have confirm that's the case. But, uh...why?

Let me be really clear about something first off: I adore the Northern Harrier. Also caleld the marsh hawk, they're a beautiful raptor native to brackish and salt mashes, as well as grasslands and fields, hunting small mammals, insects, and the occasional bird. They're one of the few accipiters that are silent fliers, ambushing prey from above like owls. They even have the disc-like face. They're one of the new North American raptors with sexual dimorphism (the smoky gray male is pictured above, as compared to the brown females), and their iconic coloration has given them the nickname of the Gray Ghost. WHICH IS BADASS. They're also one of the only polygynous raptors, meaning a male can mate with several females in a given season, nesting on the ground and hatching chicks. Because of their unique relationships, some indigenous peoples see them as a symbol of healthy marriage. Finally, these are considered good for agriculture, as they eat rodents and not chicken. I love harriers, they're super neat birds, and it's always a pleasure to see them in the wild. Also, they DROWN THEIR PREY!!! What the hell! That's terrifying!

OK, harriers are cool, but do they have a relevance to New Jersey outside of being the logo of New jersey Audubon? Well...they do breed there...barely. But they've been observed doing so, so that counts. They represent key habitats in the state of New Jersey, so that's great. Their certainly charismatic enough (GRAY GHOST), and they've got nationwide conservation concern as an endangered species. So, it has those qualities going for it as the State Bird candidate. We'll see what the poll says. In the meantime, let's move on!

Laughing Gull (Leucophaeus atricilla)

Y'know, my original plan was to put the Ring-billed Gull (Larus delawarensis) in this list as well...and then, I stumbled upon a fun fact. The black-headed cousin of the Ring-billed Gull, and Laughing Gull, is a regular traveler to New Jersey, and in fact has a colony right off of the Jersey Shore, making them a fairly well-known and recognizable resident of an iconic area of the state. But pretty importantly, the species has a pretty massive breeding population in New Jersey. 5% of the breeding population of the species are in southern NJ, which isn’t the bulwark of their breeding population in the USA (that'd be Louisiana, according the eBird Status and Trends), but it's still a significant portion.

That said, the Laughing Gull is a recognizable member of the New Jersey shore community, and I mean the term "community" in multiple contexts. Ecologically, they're omnivorous scavengers that are well-adapted to living in a densely populated state, as well as in saltmarshes and other coastal environments throughout New Jersey. Sociologically, they hang around human settlements so much that they see opportunities in human hands...literally. The Laughing Gulls of the Jersey Shore are pretty notorious for stealing food out of the hands of beachgoers and boardwalk visitors. There are even boardwalk restaurants with signs saying they won't offer refunds if your food is stolen by a gull. They're SO notorious, in fact, that falconers have been hired to use their falcons to drive away these birds. And honestly...that's a shame. After all, the Laughing Gulls are such prominent citizens that humans have had to adjust to them.

But that said...I'm gonna quote Brian Donahue, the reporter at the end of the video/new report I linked to above...because it's hilarious, and it makes an interesting statement that I think people from New Jersey should think about. Read the quote, but trust that I have a somewhat well-thought out idea supporting it.

Derided as "flying rats" by many, I think it's time to reconsider the Laughing Gull, because if things haters say about Laughing Gulls (they're loud, feisty, there's too many of them... (Interviewee Kathy McCarey): They're rude...they're very demanding...and they come for what they want...I don't like 'em.) ...are the same things haters often say about New Jerseyans. Laughing Gulls are us. They deserve more respect.

Look, as extremely funny as that point is...there's a point about that statement. That is something that people say about New Jerseyans! They live in a state full of garbage, they're obnoxious and loud, all of that kinds thing. And New Jerseyans love their state as much as anybody else; SO MUCH, in fact, that many people online say they actually love that stereotype, because it means that people STAY OUT OF THEIR STATE. Funny or not, true or not...there's a point there. Laughing Gulls, as with all gulls, have a bad reputation, which is mostly undeserved. They're opportunists trying to feed themselves and their young, who see a smorgasbord of food right in front of them, in their neighborhood! In their place, what would YOU do? Honestly, these guys are a solid contender for that reason alone.

Plus, honestly...it's kinda funny.

Saltmarsh Sparrow (Ammospiza caudacuta)

Finally, let's look at the conservation focus for this post: the Saltmarsh Sparrow (Ammospiza caudacuta). So, this is a pretty big one, especially when looking at New Jersey. A full 32% of the species' global population breeds in this state, which is, frankly, a MASSIVE proportion of any species. What's more, they're considered an endangered species, which immediately makes this an impressive contender for the State Bird of New Jersey. And as one of the most endangered species in the Eastern USA, not to mention a species of immense scientific interest for ecological and genomic reasons, this bird should get some attention by the public and federal government.

However...and this is a point to be made here...it's not exactly the most iconic bird for non-birders. As a birder who would kill to get this on his lifelist (I AM WORKING ON IT, LITERALLY TOMORROW AS I AM TYPING THIS), this is a prominent bird within certain communities. And to others? Ugh, this is gonna hurt me to say, you have no idea, but...it's a sparrow. It may be a little harder for people to become attached to a sparrow, and even more difficult for people to recognize the Saltmarsh Sparrow specifically.

Don't believe that this matters? Do me a favor, bird people. Show your non-bird friends Bird A, Bird B, and Bird C. Ask them how many different species you showed them. I'm willing to bet the especially observant will say 2. The less observant are gonna say 1. And throw in these top two pictures, while you're at it. I'm willing to bet you'll still get a 2 or 3. Because, unfortunately, to many people, sparrows all look pretty similar. And going forward, that's something we'll have to keep in mind: a unique appearance. What makes a bird iconic is also in its uniqueness and identifiability. And sure, maybe I'm not giving the average person enough credit, but we're also talking about children. I've said it before and I'll say it many times over: kids are important targets to consider when choosing natural State Symbols. And I really don't know how many adults could tell the difference between some sparrows, even professionals. And, uh...the Saltmarsh Sparrow is a very important example of this, because it wasn't even a species until the '90s.

Oh, and kudos to those of you who caught on immediately to my little trick up there. Probably a good amount of you noticed it, but if you didn't...there are five species of sparrows shown in this post. The two birds pictured in the post? Different species. Yeah, hearing that now makes that more obvious, but you may not have noticed it immediately. The first bird pictured is indeed the Saltmarsh Sparrow. The second bird, however, is the Nelson's Sparrow (Ammospiza nelsoni), which was once considered the same species as the Saltmarsh Sparrow. Dirty question, I know, but it's also found in New Jersey. Not a breeder there, but it's enough to cause a bit of confusion. See what I mean?

Oh, as for the rest, Bird A is LeConte's Sparrow (Ammospiza leconteii), Bird B is a Savannah Sparrow (Passerculus sandwichensis), and Bird C is a Grasshopper Sparrow (Ammodramus savannarum).

Please understand, bird-peeps: I hate making this argument. Genuinely. The New World sparrows are a wonderful group, and a really fun one to play around with and hunt down as a birder. And don't worry, sparrows will be getting a mention in my personal list. But as for the State Bird? I'll let you all decide.

And with that, that's the end of this post! I miss any big ones? Make any leaps a bit too big? Feel free to let me know! In the meantime, stay tuned for State #4 - Georgia! Wait...wait, the fourth state to be admitted into the Union was Georgia? Huh. Go figure.

See you next time, and happy birding!

[princescribbler]

Quick Reminder For ABDLs:

You are allowed to like cuteness and cuddly things, even if you're a traditionally tough, serious, or masculine adult. Gender and sexual identity don't matter: it's OK to be an adult and an abdl and enjoy the cute and cuddly things.

There's no harm being done by you wearing diapers.. nobody is getting hurt, nobody's life is ruined, no public harm is occurring.... you're wearing absorbent underwear, and when you stop seeing it as a huge deal, you realize it... just isn't that shocking or bad!

Negative self talk is a major issue, and you can fight it by telling yourself (even just quietly in your own mind) about the things you ENJOY about this kink and dynamic! Tell yourself how cute you are in a diapee, not silly. Unless you like humiliation, in which you're a very very naughty adult baby who should be very blushy and embarrassed ;)

Public bathrooms are gross. I'm not saying that an adult using their diaper isn't, at the least, a bit unusual or maybe a strange strategy to deal with icky public bathrooms... but it's at least a nice edge case benefit from the kink!

Nobody is looking at you and waiting for diaper crinkles unless they're already aware of this kink, or you've shown them what you're up to. Seriously, I wore diapers to work for like 4+ years now, and the truth is nobody knows or cares! I don't carefully check to see what my coworkers are wearing as undies, and if they think I'm padded in diapers they'd just assume it's medical anyways, and never ask out of politeness!

Healthy cg/l relationship dynamics are complicated, but they aren't hard to put into practice. You might find the details hard to figure out, but finding a partner you can rely on and feel protected by really isn't particularly kinky... that's called a healthy relationship, whether it's kinky or not! So if you're with someone who makes this stuff impossibly hard or shameful or bad... that might not be an issue of your kink. It might be a fundamental issue in your relationship!

Stuffed animals are cozy and nice for everyone. You don't need to act weird to like stuffies, and you can even accept that if people see a house full of stuffies... they think Disney fanatic, not abdl. Or maybe they see it as cutesy, or an example of you being unique, but very very VERY few people see that kinda stuff and think "abdl". Cuz if they do.. they likely know enough about abdl to have experience, or have similar desires.

Nobody and nothing can make your needs invalid if you're acting safely, harming no one, and seeing to your needs. You need diapers? Great, go get them. Need pull ups to cope with a tough week at work? Not an issue, go for it. Need to carry a small pacifier in your Pocket to feel confident enough for a job interview? Go for it: you don't need to judge or dissect every one of your needs to be able to see them as valid and reasonable.

You're not nearly as kinky as you usually think... because fantasies aren't reality. Sure, I'm pretty kinky, but I've now been on here, on fetlife and bdsmlr enough to know... you just aren't that kinky. Unless you're cathed, caged, plugged, hypnotized, in a 24/7 total power exchange with your mommy/ daddy/ owner and their new owner who replaced you once you accepted your permanent role as house baby... I'm guessing you're fine. A lot of fantasies are just that: fantasies! So stop judging yourself as though every fantasy you imagine is one you think you need to do, ok? You're allowed to have extreme Fantasies or even scenes. Unless you're committing to more than that, though, you really don't need to be so convinced of just how extreme you are.

Disney really is that much fun. No you aren't crazy for still loving them.

Same with Pixar... except they might make you cry even more. And more often. Because damn you Pixar, you onion cutting ninjas!

When you feel bad and want to take a step back... you can! Truly it isn't an issue to step away or step back. As long as it's not like a binge/purge thing or completely panicking ... it really is OK to step away. Maybe you need a breather. Maybe you need a long break. Maybe it's just a day to recharge: that's ok! So stop judging yourself for every little change and decision!

No: having your mommy or daddy write a note to your boss ain't gonna work. Sorry, but it's been tried. "Mommy says I need to stay home and have extra cuddles" is still not recognized as a valid reason to miss work at most jobs. Sorry to break it to you!

Finally: kink and fetishes can sometimes feel isolating. That's a big part of why communities like this pop up on tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, bdsmlr, fetlife, and any other site you can imagine. Sometimes, you need to embrace these communities for your own good: it can feel so very, very nice to not feel isolated anymore. You really have no idea!! Give it a shot and you might be surprised!

I know it's not an exhaustive list, but that jumped to mind today and I felt compelled to type them out and share. If you think I'm missing key points, leave a comment or reblog and add your suggested addition!

And as always, stay happy, stay healthy, And stay kinky!!!

-Scribbler

[shatcey]

Sariel sequel

I'm actually very surprised how much I like it. Of the three sequels I have read (Chev, Leon and Sari) that seemed to me the most interesting one. It's not that the others are bad, there's something about them that I really couldn't agree with. And that alone didn't allow me to fully immerse myself in the story (or believe in it).

I've finished all the sequels with only dramatic endings, so my opinion may be incomplete.

So… There was one thing I was very afraid of when I started reading Sariel's sequel. I was afraid Belle would feel "not good enough for him". He is much older, he has more experience, he knows much more than she does. It was pretty easy to imagine what she was thinking so. But to my surprise, she didn't feel it in the slightest. Moreover… I found that their bond is the strongest. I can't say why without spoiler, let's just say I feel that way.

I really like Belle in this route. Sometimes she cutely silly, but mostly she is very mature and calm. Her worries, her thoughts, her words, her actions are very logical… It was quite interesting to watch how her story unfolds.

I like Sariel here. He became softer, but it didn't change his core. It's like the ice has melted or… the stone has been polished… Slightly changed, but still the same. I like the way he interacts to Belle. This couple is really a couple. And I truly believe in their connection. It feels very strong.

I like that there was so much Azel in it. I like this guy, and his unique personality adds much-needed humor to the story. He definitely hadn't planned this. And there was a bit of Licht. He also added a few jokes. Again unintentionally.

The only thing that seemed strange to me was that Belle suddenly had paranormal abilities. Well… the same thing can be said for all sequels. She suddenly starts talking to Azel in her dreams even before she met him. In this story… she had a little more ability. But… it doesn't look too excessive to annoy, just the right amount. So, let's say that Tanzanite is such a magical place that even a simple girl like Belle has awakened special abilities.

So it should be a really good, even perfect sequel (and I still think so), but… There was a scene in the last chapter that just made me sad. I don't see this as a spoiler, it doesn't have any information about the plot, only before and after, but… just in case…

The delegation was sent to Tanzanite for one purpose only. Really. Just one. Find out the reason for the creation of the alliance.

And what are Sariel and Belle talking about when they get back? About their adventures, about the goods in local shops (including the gifts they brought with them). They weren't on vacation! This is not some kind of family reunion!

(exasperated sigh)

As a very loyal servant, first thing that Sariel has to say, "I'm sorry, my king, I didn't complete the task you gave me". But no… he didn't say that! Yes, a little later there was a scene where Sariel talks to Leon one-on-one, but it wasn't shown, it was behind a black screen. I belive it was about Sariel's past (judging by what was in the epilogue).

I'm just a little annoyed that they didn't even think about it.

I need to find a picture… a moment…

Yes, Gilly-bee, they really truely forgot about the deal with you… (shaking head) Fools indeed.

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🔝 Start page 🔝

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[dendrochilums]

HELLO MURDERBOT FANS!!!!

after finishing the books, have you found yourself wishing that you could immerse yourself in three hundred thousand words of fanfic so deliciously written and so masterfully constructed that you will NOT be able to stop thinking about it, ever? then i have GREAT NEWS FOR YOU:

NULLverse: The Bot-Construct Disaster Squad by @blessphemy

this series is a canon-divergence AU from the moment in Exit Strategy when Murderbot narrowly escapes the clutches of the Combat SecUnit it's fighting. In this AU, it is captured by Palisade (the security company running that whole showdown), experimented on, and forced into death matches with that very same CSU. That's the premise of the first installment! I'll tell you for free that they escape.

What follows is a few hundred thousand of the most riveting words I have ever read, an incredibly carefully woven story following murderbot and the machine intelligences and humans that it meets on its journey. note that this series does NOT closely follow canon--all the same characters will come back one way or another (with the addition of the CSU as the most delightful and deranged technically-canon OC you will ever see) (plus you will get LOTS more ART screentime), but it does not retread the path of the canon series. i truly cannot overstate how FRESH, CREATIVE, and UNIQUE this AU is.

To quote the series description on AO3: Consider this series if you like: feral shit, disaster, continuity of identity+memory, societies of people with divergent needs/wants, chaos, robot creation ethics, violence vs security, suffering, healing, bad puns.

there is no murderbot shipping here. there are a few short installments with some robo brain sex involving other characters, but those are also designed to be skippable if that's not your jam

I'm making this post because this series is STILL updating and the latest chapter was possibly the greatest thing I have ever read. It has filled my mind with electricity in the most fireworks way possible. The payoff you will get for reading this series is exquisite, and you will have so much fun along the way. Come join us!! Weekly updates await you if you catch up before the latest installment is complete.

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?? GO GO GO READ THE FIRST INSTALLMENT

[soudakuwunmoment]

About Dirk's role in the downfall of DirkJake

I mentioned recently in a post that I don't like DirkJake as much as I used to, and credited that to how Jake treated Dirk before they broke up. I know it's far more popular to say the breakup was Dirk's fault, but I'm here to add my perspective, because I truly don't think this is entirely the case.

Disclaimer, I am BIASED AS SHIT. I LOVE Dirk as a character, I relate to him on many levels, and his breakup with Jake is one of those levels. I was in Dirk's place a few years ago in a near identical situation, with a partner who was dissatisfied with our relationship and refused to tell me, while simultaneously distancing from me in a way which was incredibly unhealthy. I don't hold it against him now, and neither do I hold it against Jake. Both were teenagers. Immature and scared. However, while this gives me bias, I also think it gives me a unique perspective and experience in this exact situation. I think I have a place discussing this.

So, where to start? Well, first of all, let's establish what the issue was and how it led to the breakup.

After the time skip, we see that Jake is frustrated with how clingy and overbearing Dirk is being. He is overwhelmed by the intensity of the relationship, but is too scared to say anything because he doesn't want to upset Dirk or put them on bad terms. After all, Jake DOES love Dirk, despite what many people think. Having issues with your partner does not automatically mean you don't love them. In response to Jake's distant behavior, Dirk tries especially hard to impress him, make him happy. Dirk is anxious; he has been lonely his whole life, and has loved Jake for 3 years at that point. He is finally physically close with someone who he loves and is having his feelings returned. But now he senses that he might lose that. Dirk is VERY proactive about his problems, and is notoriously a chronic overthinker. So, Dirk attempts to "mend" things. He offers adventures and treasure and tombs; Jakes favorite things. Jake doesn't see Dirk's intentions and is oblivious to how anxious he is. He doesn't read behind the lines and therefore comes to the conclusion that Dirk has just been far too clingy lately. And so, we have a vicious situation. Jake's reaction to Dirk's clinginess is to hide, and Dirk's reaction to Jake's distance is to overcompensate and be more affectionate. It's a cycle that only gets worse the longer it's left unchecked.

So how can this be solved? Communication, obviously. It's the key to healthy relationships. I feel very strongly about that.

Both parties could do to communicate their exact thoughts, but in reality, Jake is more at fault. Sure, it would help if Dirk were to express specifically that he is anxious about the relationship and that's why he's being more clingy. But realistically, Does Dirk know that? Is he self aware enough of his actions? He never makes it clear whether he is. And him saying this to Jake, while it would help, it would only get them so far. The responsibility ends up on Jake. After all, Jake is fully aware of the reason for his behavior, we KNOW this. He tells us why he is doing what he's doing. And if he were to express this to Dirk, it would not only soothe his anxiety ("I see, so Jake isn't avoiding me because he doesn't love me/there's something wrong with me") but it would also spark a conversation about what to do about their situation. Perhaps a "I will give you the space you need so long as you don't become too distant/spend time with me" from Dirk, or an "I will spend more time with you so long as you respect my wishes when I wish to be alone" from Jake. But no, they can't have this conversation, specifically because Dirk does not know WHY Jake is becoming distant. Yes, Dirk DOES know Jake wants space. He is aware of this. But he does not know WHY. This is why he is anxious; he thinks it's because of his own personality or because he is a burden or because he is "toxic" as he often describes himself. And as long as Dirk is anxious, he will become "aggressive" in his clinginess. Sure, you could say this is a negative trait of his, but it can be avoided with communication, VERY easily.

You can say the breakup is Dirks fault all you want, and yes, he plays a role. But my opinion is that if either of them were to be considered a victim of the other, Dirk was the one who suffered more as a result of Jake's refusal to communicate.

[serenityhime1]

Reflections Commentary and Q&A

I'm going to put a cut below to avoid spoliers for anyone who doesn't want them, but I'm going to answer some questions that I was asked about Reflections and share a little commentary. Please feel free to ask further questions if you would like!

I am truly overwhelmed with the support I got for writing Reflections. It was a fun idea I had to write two stories that started in the same place but diverged due to a single change, and the way that played out in telling two different stories. It was important to me that chapters updated simultaneously to give the reader the experience of seeing both stories at the same time, rather than read one story and then the other in their entirety, because it was about how things were different moment-to-moment rather than telling two stories that started with the same premise.

Writing these stories was an exercise in patience as I went back and forth between stories to confirm details and make sure everything was in the right place and the right time. It was only 10 chapters, but definitely felt like the 20 chapters it actually was. Both stories together were over 80k words!

I didn't think anyone would really care too much, but it was well-received and I am incredibly appreciative. It was a strange creative project that was just meant to explore the way we tell stories, but people enjoyed the stories, too, and that means a lot. Anyways, questions below the cut!

@loverinthesnow asked:

Hi! Reflections was such a pleasure to read. I’m going to miss Bulma and Vegeta so much! My question for you: did Vegeta make any choices in the few weeks before each version of the fic that may have influenced the very beginning of the story?

Thank you for the kind words! Vegeta did a lot of self-reflection before the story started. At the time the story picked up, he'd been single for a few months and spending a lot of time thinking about what he wanted out of life, and out of a relationship. It takes time to unwind a lot of the damage an abusive partner can do to you.

Fortunately a lot of that self-reflection led him to a place where he was at least appreciative of the loud, beautiful woman he kept running into at the coffee shop, but he couldn't quite bring himself to talk to her. In a lot of ways it felt too soon, and too late. In one story he accidentally finds a way to start a conversation, and it takes him by surprise. In the other story, he makes a realization and uses his knowledge to his advantage to get her to start the conversation.

It's a little manipulative, perhaps, but it works!

@vegetasmyheart asked:

Reflection was a unique experience. Thank you for sharing your creativity. I was just curious if you prefer one version over the other?

First of all, how dare you ask if I have a favorite child, and the answer is yes of course I have a favorite child. I'm kidding of course! I'd say that taken on their surface I prefer Chiral, because I like a good, confident Bulma who goes after what she wants and gets it. She inspires the best in her partner, and even though she makes mistakes she navigates those with aplomb and we love her for it.

Taken together though, and in the spirit of the project, I really love Achiral. There was a long stretch where people felt like I (or the universe) was a little harsh on Achiral Bulma, but I think that it's important to recognize that insecurity is something we all deal with, and vulnerability is not a bad thing. I definitely don't see Achiral as the "bad" storyline - Bulma and Vegeta get together at almost the same time and they have sex there first, and it's wildly passionate. Perhaps it's a little less emotionally grounded, but we get to see over time that develops just as it did in Chiral.

I also had someone mention they were a little concerned about Krillin living with Roshi, and while I reassured them I just want to reassure all of you that Roshi, while an utter creep to women, is also weirdly progressive and therefore not interested in Krillin at all (since he's a man).

Thank you all for the kind words, loving comments, and questions. I am so glad I got the chance to work on this and had so many people who were invested in it. I appreciate it more than words can say <3

[ferret-the-overseer]

since everything’s so shit right now (part 2)

So, I’m a writer. Some of y'all may know this (I’m looking at you all three of my followers who are also mutuals) (props to that one person who follows me who may or may not be a bot bc they’ve never posted or reblogged anything) (they’re probably a bot, anyway).

I went through a rough time about two years ago. I got through it when I met someone who brightened my life to a degree I had never thought possible. When I lost that person a few months ago, I managed to pick myself up recently. And I’m doing better now. But the important thing about the last two and a half years of my life is that no matter how it was going…

It got better.

I wrote my way through it.

Some of these things I wrote seemed very personal at the time, and some of them still are. But I think the most important thing about writing is sharing it with others. If you write anything no matter how “good” you think it is, it will mean something to someone else. To write is to create something in a truly unique way, something that could never come from anyone else. Share your writing. You never know how it will change someone’s life. Maybe it’s a small change, and they just have a moment of laughing or smiling. Maybe that's the first time they laughed or smiled in days, weeks, months. Maybe it was a bigger change, and they connected with what you wrote on a deeper level.

Maybe you saved their life.

Who knows.

But everyone experiences things. Sometimes the things are bad. Sometimes they’re good. It happens. We push through.

All that being said, I’m going to post some of these things I wrote. These are all true, all things that came from my mind as a result of my life. Some of them are thoughtful, some of them are dumb. Some of them are small, some of them are tedious. Maybe they’ll change someone’s life. Maybe no one will read them. I don’t know. But I created these things, and it is a privilege to be able to share them.

[skeeverboy]

hi i love making lists and rankings. this is my ranking of all tfb albums from worst to best.

yes i've ranked tfb albums before im trying to go more in depth on this one and also my opinions may or may not have changed

Going Grey

It's experimental. It's stylistically different from the albums leading up to it. It's branching in a new direction, their first step into a slightly more pop sound. And it is boring.

A couple tracks sound the same to me. There's no pull factor for me, it's all around just kind of dull when compared to other TFB albums.

That is to say, though, I do love this album. Peace Sign goes hard, love the connection to Tie Dye Dragon. You Used to Say is a pretty solid opener. Vacation Town is a classic (though it is overplayed ngl)

8.4/10

In Sickness & In Flames

I love this album, I really do. Stylistically I think it's really significant to the TFB timeline, marking their journey into the more pop side that they're exploring recently. There are some absolute BANGERS also - love bus beat, love montgomery forever, love Fairbanks, Alaska. This was also the most recent album when I started listening to TFB.

With that, I think a lot of the album is kind of forgettable. I mean, come on- new song d, the hard way, make way, love at first sight. I forget they exist. Also, for some reason, I just cannot stand everyone blooms and it's the opener to the album. It puts a bad taste in my mouth for the entire thing.

8.9/10

You Are Who You Hang Out With

I reviewed this album on my other blog and gave it an 8.6 but that's changing today because my opinions are subjective and change every hour. This album is great, I don't care what anyone says. Most of the time I genuinely think the autotune and heavy editing works.

It did take some time for me to get used to it, not going to lie. I loved Outlook when it came out, but Emotional was... rough at first. It's absolutely warmed up to me, though. It can feel kind of repetitive sometimes, but I really like how they experimented with style and put out something truly unique.

9.0/10

My Grandma Vs. Pneumonia

I am such a sucker for 2000s/early 2010s TFB. I love the raw sound, and this shit is the DEFINITION of raw and unfiltered. I love this album with all my heart, I love the vocals (controversial, I know), I love the style, I love the simplicity and the lyrical style.

Some of this album is a little forgettable, and there are a few in here that were remade to just be so much better. The Theresa version of Supply of Power and the Rose version of Flying Model Rockets absolutely desimate and are just incredible. Though, I will say, the original I Think Your Nose Is Bleeding is better.

Definitely a hit or miss depending on who you are, but I am the type of person to EAT THIS SHIT UP.

9.3/10

The Front Bottoms

This album is an absolute classic. Really similar in style to IHMF and MGVP but sounding just a little more polished. This album has some of the gayest songs ever.

The lyrics speak to the heart. Every track is memorable and incredible. The use of trumpet in certain tracks is really nice, though it's incorporated better in later albums.

9.5/10

Talon of the Hawk

Just an incredible album all around. It's super energetic in an absolute delightful way. It's the perfect blend of their older kind of rough folk-y style while remaining polished and sounding complete. Older albums often sound like they're unfinished demos. Not TotH.

The use of trumpet and other instruments is strong. Some of TFB's most iconic songs are in this album. The knife is iconic. It is the Front Bottoms album.

9.7/10

Back on Top

I love this album so fucking much. Every song is incredible. The style, with the heavy use of electric guitar, is wonderful. It feels very light, very summery.

While it's less iconic than TotH, I'd say some of the most underrated songs are in Back on Top. 2YL, Ginger, The Plan, HELP, all absolutely breathtaking songs.

God I love this album.

9.9/10

I Hate My Friends

This is the most biased top pick ever. But yeah, this is one of my favorite albums of all time, maybe even my favorite of all time. I love the old TFB sound, I love the lyrics, I love the subject matter, I love the immature angst, I just overall love it so much.

I'm getting a fucking tattoo of this album, I have to put it at the top.

10/10

[laundrybiscuits]

I've recently been tagged in a few WIP/"last thing you've written" type games, and…to be completely candid, I haven't been writing any kind of fic lately because I've become a little bit obsessed with analyzing the Broadway revival of Merrily We Roll Along.

Not for any particular purpose, I just saw it at the Hudson a little while back and have a lot of feelings about it! In my tiny scraps of spare time, I've been working on an essay about Merrily and inevitability that will probably end up rotting in my google docs*, because that's how I approach writing as a hobby.

There's just so much there, holy shit. I'm focusing particularly on "Franklin Shepard, Inc." because Radcliffe's Charley brings a frenetic, desperate vulnerability to the performance that reads so, so differently from earlier productions. Throughout the show, I was consistently blown away by the heavy lifting Radcliffe, Mendez, and Groff do in shifting the core tension from "art vs commerce" (fine but basic, and difficult to keep modern) to "how people prioritize different types of relationships in their lives."

In an effort to make this slightly less wildly off-topic for this blog: this has gotten me thinking about the way that platonic relationships are treated in narratives, particularly but not exclusively in fandom.

"Found family" is and has always been a popular trope, but I do think its current incarnation trades a lot on the underlying fantasy of relationship permanence. When we recategorize friendships as familial relationships, we're making a claim—whether or not it's justified—about the indelibility of those relationships.

That's not inherently bad (or, god forbid, problematic). I think it's very very natural, especially for those who don't necessarily have a lot of experience with the way adult friendships change over time. Why wouldn't you want something as precious and unique and amazing as a good friendship to stay with you forever?

Certain people can feel like pillars of your world, and it's fucking terrifying to think about that being yanked out from under you—or even worse, to think about your lives slowly shifting like geologic plates until suddenly you realize it's been weeks, then months, then years since you last really talked.

CHARLEY: We're not that kind of close any more, the way we used to be. And a friendship's like a garden. You have to water it and tend it and care about it. And you know what? I want it back.

It's a peculiar, particular kind of grief when it happens, because even though it's a fairly common human experience, it doesn't get socially acknowledged in the same way as e.g. a romantic breakup.

So yeah, it makes a lot of sense that found family is a popular trope in all kinds of media, not just fandom.

However...at this point, I've developed a knee-jerk wariness to the phrase "found family," because I've found it often correlates with a really flat, simplistic depiction of human relationships. In extreme cases, it simply recontextualizes a relationship within the socially acknowledged/acceptable framework of a stereotypical family unit.

This does a disservice to familial and nonfamilial relationships alike. Every family is different, so why do so many found families in media look the same?

(I was monologuing about this to my very patient girlfriend, and she pointed out that this also sets up a success/failure binary condition in relationships, where permanence is the arbiter of success in both romantic and nonromantic contexts. She is of course both beautiful and correct!)

I have friends with whom I can sometimes share a glance and know exactly what they're thinking. I even have a running joke with one friend about the sheer number of times we've said the same thing in unison over the last 15 years. I still need to be intentional about building those relationships, extending empathy when we differ, and carving out time to reconnect. Truly intimate long-term relationships of any kind involve disagreements, conflicting priorities, and negotiating and renegotiating boundaries.

Being "basically the same person" or "sharing a braincell" actually sounds super fucking lonely to me, personally, and it handily elides the difficult, essential process of keeping people in your life.

FRANK: Old friends let you go your own way. CHARLEY: Help you find your own way. MARY: Let you off when you're wrong. F: If you're wrong. C: When you're wrong. M: Right or wrong, the point is, old friends shouldn't care if you're wrong. F: Should, but not for too long. C: What's too long?

That's a more complicated and much more mature narrative to tell than "friendship will save the day!" Because it's not that common and there's not a deep bank of references to draw from, it takes a lot of effort and skill to depict well, and I don't blame creators for not wanting to let it suck up all the air in the room. However, I think it's important to acknowledge that platonic relationships can also be flanderised and flattened.

In the context of fandom, which has always traded heavily in Romance genre conventions, I would really like to see more thoughtful explorations of complicated nonromantic relationships. I'm not even talking about genfic here! I've actually been thinking about Stobin specifically because that relationship (rightly & understandably) tends to show up in any Steve-centric fic, including the vast ocean of Steddie fics, so it makes the issue slightly more visible than I've seen in other fandoms.

I'm not saying I want to see them fight, or not be friends, or not love each other fiercely and near-obsessively in the way that lonely teenagers can. I'm just saying I want them to be distinct individuals who view the world in very different ways, and choose each other anyway. They already have a complicated past; I know from personal experience that it's possible as a lesbian to be best friends with a guy who once made a little speech about how into you he was, but that little layer of history never quite goes away.

I don't want frictionless relationships in my life. I want people who will challenge me and whom I can challenge, in the context of love and trust. I want people in my life whom I have to work to understand, because my life is richer when I do. And sometimes, I want narratives that will reflect the grief of friendships that are no longer part of my life, despite the best efforts of everyone involved.

In Merrily, Charley sings, "Friendship's something you don't really lose—" but Radcliffe's thready, pleading delivery makes it all too clear: Charley already knows he's lying. The audience just needs to catch up.

*Other essays in that particular graveyard: understanding the cast of Peanuts through the lens of anomie, humor and subversive linguistic nationalism in 00s Singaporean TV, how to fix Miss Saigon. WHY am I this way.

[4dkellysworld]

Lol even when you have $billions the excitement goes away, eventually. Sure one can curate a cute illusory life. Cap off the illusions with love. But the only thing that matters to me is reaching myself in eternity...there's simply no rush to experience the fulfillment of illusory desires. They'll happen, this is eternity...with yourself aware of who you truly are...it becomes a loving curation...

Idk that's my response to that anon, there is simply no rush and that's okay. Why exist in an illusion when we can know ourselves fully. Your series of moments and experiences can be curated in any which way "you want" lol. It's simple. Desires are nothing and something...they were created by the self...but they have no authority...just media to have fun with

Right, and I'm sure even billionaires have their own unique billionaire problems in this illusion, are they *truly* free? They are still subject to the limitations of the body-mind even if they have less limitations than the average man because of their wealth. None of that will even matter once that body dies either.

I think the desire and drive to know ones true Self becomes more and more appealing the more disillusioned you become from the material life, when you realize that it can never give you true lasting happiness. There is nothing I care more than knowing and being my true self deeply and completely.

You should think about "Who am I?" The mundane life is like a treadmill. It may go round and round, but still you are in the same place. Please do not live this mundane life simply waiting for death. The worst habit is that of mundane worldly life. It is called the "greatest addiction." By force of this addiction to worldly life, Paramatman is made to believe that He is an individual, and is compelled to live a worldly life as if in prison. All bad habits can be dropped, but the addiction to mundane life is the most difficult to drop. People try to strengthen their ties with others by speaking to them respectfully and congratulating each other over small things. People compete with each other for earning more honors and status. In this way, they feel that they are happy in life. They act as if this is a respectable bad habit. The "God of Death" is happy to give you many kinds of bodies and various troubles. Give up the sense of "mine." Know that the body is your enemy. Very few are those who have truly understood. Only those who are lucky enough to receive the blessings of the Guru, who is the Self, can escape from this Illusion by right efforts. All others are bound to the treadmill of life in various incarnations, and they make houses of bodies of various shapes and duration. from Chapter 41. Give Up the Addiction to Mundane Worldly Life - Master of Self Realization by Siddharameshwar Maharaj

And there is nothing to desire once you know yourself as everything, there is no need to desire when everything is you and yours. Only you must know who you truly are first.

[justagalwhowrites]

oh and you don't have to this post obvs but even macfrogs post contained points that were blatantly rooted in ageism. What do you mean the fandom is mostly twenty year olds? Do you not see the other groups that are thirsting after this man? I personally see a ton of "older" women and some men in this fandom. What do mean that personality traits like being frivolous are limited to twenty year olds? I wasn't aware that your personality completely changed at midnight on your 30th birthday. That response while well intended proved the OPs point by being ageist.

All the OP was asking for was writers to either show a 🌟little bit of respect 🌟 for older readers or simply leave them be.

Why is it so wrong to say stop with this don't worry this 30 year old doesn't have wrinkles so she's actually pretty (a real authors note btw) nonsense.

Because if it's fine you and other people to respond to OP, it should be fine fot her to express her opinion

Hi again!

When it came to the fandom age comments, that’s largely been my experience in this fandom. The vast majority of fandom spaces I’m in, I am one of the oldest if not the oldest one there at 34-years-old. That’s OK! At least in the spaces I’m in, no one is ever unkind about it, it just means I spend a lot of time on discord with people 10 years younger than me lol I don’t think the fandom is ENTIRELY young people but, by and large, most of the people I encounter here are in their 20s. Maybe I’m just in odd spaces, but that statement just seemed factual to me.

While I don’t think being frivolous specifically is limited to your 20s, I’m a very different person now than I was when I was in my 20s. That’s a good thing IMO! A lot of my interests are the same but my priorities have greatly shifted in the last 10 years because I’m at a different stage in my life. When I was 21, I remember feeling so stressed and anxious about going on a camping trip with friends and whether or not I could skip it because I was broke and still be a core part of the friend group. At 34, it’s a very different calculus because fitting in with a friend group just isn’t my number one priority now. I know myself better because I’ve had time to explore who I am as a fully realized person. In my 20s, I was still figuring that out. That period of time where you’re coming into your own, truly discovering what you want out of life and how you’re going to get it IS a unique time in my experience! I get the fantasy of wanting an older, wiser person (who also happens to be hot and great in bed) there to help you navigate it. Even though I rarely read fics where the age gap is the point (it’s just not my thing - and that’s OK!) I definitely understand the appeal.

I do agree that, if you’re going to write an older reader you should just write an older reader. Maybe I’ve just gotten lucky and not encountered content like that but, even if I did, I’d just roll my (ancient, 34-year-old) eyes, assume it was written by a 19-year-old who would know better in a few years, and move along. That teenaged creator isn’t going to change the way society views women, all that will be accomplished is making some random person online feel bad or dig in their heels even more. I think we can have these conversations (and should have these conversations) without throwing creators under the bus.

Sorry this was so long! Again, I hope it helps shed some light on my thoughts 😊

Thanks for reaching out!!

[tomorrowxtogether]

TOMORROW X TOGETHER Unpack the “Story of Growth” in New Album The Name Chapter: FREEFALL

"I thought about how far we’ve come," says Beomgyu

In the music video for TOMORROW X TOGETHER’s new single, “Chasing That Feeling,” Soobin, Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Hueningkai quite literally crash-land back on earth. It’s an apt visual for the focus track off their latest project, The Name Chapter: FREEFALL, which brings the boys back to reality after their spring EPfeatured a dreamy stint in a Neverland setting.

While TXT’s discography has explored young love and other narratives, so much of the group’s music hovers around themes of growing up in an increasingly complicated world. “We want to talk about the experiences that are unique to our generation,” Hueningkai tells Consequence. The Name Chapter: FREEFALL is the group’s first LP in over two years, and their longest collection of new music since 2021’s The Chaos Chapter: FREEZE. There are a few new angles to this project — a harder commitment to rock along with playing around with Jersey club hallmarks — but it’s a TOMORROW X TOGETHER project through and through.

“Happily Ever After,” like 2021’s “Ice Cream,”sounds bright but contains more serious themes in the lyrics . There’s also a song dedicated specifically from the members to their beloved fan base, MOA, titled “Blue Spring.” With more lyrical contributions than ever before from the members themselves, it’s exciting seeing TXT continue to develop as artists and creatives, and Soobin, Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Hueningkai are back to reflect on the process. Read the full interview with the members below, and catch the music video for “Chasing That Feeling.”

I feel like this album goes bigger with ideas you’ve played with before. Where “Good Boy Gone Bad” and “0X1 LOVESONG” played with rock sounds, “Growing Pain” dives all the way in. Meanwhile, “Chasing That Feeling” is straight-up 80s synth. What are some words you guys would use to describe this project as a whole?

Soobin: I’d call it a story of growth. It looks at the growing pains of our generation and picks up where we left off in our previous album. The main backdrop for the previous album was this beautiful but irresponsible Neverland. This album is about leaving this Neverland and facing the real world. Growing pains are inevitable in this process, and we wanted to delve into that in this album.

Yeonjun: I’d say a soundtrack for today’s youth. We wanted to talk about the courage and determination of today’s youth to face reality head-on.

I feel like you guys have accomplished so many goals we’ve talked about over the past few years. In 2022, you told me you hoped to perform at bigger venues, and to do well at your first appearance at Lollapalooza. You’ve since crushed a stadium tour, dome concerts in Japan, and headlined Lolla! How does it feel to see those things happen in real time? 

Taehyun: As you said, this year has been a really big year for us with our Lollapalooza headliner set, first U.S. stadium tour, and most recently the “Back For More” (with Anitta) performance at the MTV VMAs. It’s an incredible honor to perform at such iconic venues and events and be able to share our music to connect with a wider audience. I’m very proud of the hard work we put in, but we won’t be able to do this without our fans’ support, so we are truly thankful for them.

To that point, now that you’ve accomplished a few really huge goals, what do some immediate next steps look like for you? What are some smaller goals you have for finishing out 2023?

Hueningkai: The new album is another opportunity for us to connect with MOA, so I just want to enjoy myself and cherish each moment. As it’s our first studio album in a little over two years, we really gave our all into it. I hope that the album resonates with as many people as possible around the world.

I’m obsessed with “Deep Down,” it’s easily my favorite on the album. The synth-pop direction is so fun. Do any of you have special memories from being in the studio, for this song or others on the album?

Beomgyu: It was a lot of fun recording “Deep Down.” “Deep Down” talks about how a “horn,” something that you try to keep hidden, can actually be a crown, or a source of hope that represents who you are. There’s a clear connection to our debut single, “CROWN,” so while recording, I was reminded by those times as a lot of different emotions came to mind. I thought about how far we’ve come, both as individuals as well as artists.

Which song on the record do you feel is the most quintessentially TOMORROW X TOGETHER?

Hueningkai: I’d say “Happily Ever After.” It’s a song about coming to terms with the fact that there are no fairytale endings in reality. And with that realization, instead of giving into despair, you can decide to write your own story. That’s something that we as a group have tried to do with our music over the years. We want to talk about the experiences that are unique to our generation. I’d say that it’s a song that really speaks to our DNA as a group.

I know how much you guys love the song “Blue Spring,” and it’s so different from some of your other songs dedicated to MOA, like “Sweat” or “MOA Diary.” Why do you think the song fit with the concept of The Name Chapter: FREEFALL?

Beomgyu: This album looks at the pain and challenges of reality, but within this reality, there are still magical moments that we share with one another. On “Blue Spring,” we compare our fans to spring that brightens up a blue world. Our fans have always been part of our magical moments that fuel our spirit, so it felt right that this song was included in the album.

I love seeing you all becoming more and more involved with lyric writing with each project. Do any of you have something you’ve learned about your songwriting process during the making of this album that you’d like to share?

Taehyun: I think we have become better at putting our honest thoughts and emotions into our lyrics. This comes as a result of many hours of writing that we put in over the years, but I think it also has to do with the fact that we have become more confident in the kind of message and music we want to share with the world. I hope many people can feel that when they listen to our music.

All five of you wrote for the lyrics in “Blue Spring.” Do you have any dreams of someday sharing an entirely self-written project?

Yeonjun: That’d be amazing. Manifesting that for the future! I do love working with other songwriters. I’m always learning a lot from them. We also feed off each other’s creativity, so it’s an experience I very much enjoy.

Is there anything else we haven’t touched on that you’d like to share?

Soobin: This album talks about reality as it is, which is also reflected in our visuals for the album. We shot the music video for our lead single at Universal Studios, but it looks as if we land somewhere in a real city like New York or London. We wanted to show a world seen without a filter, so I think that’s another element that our fans can enjoy along with the music.

[cinnamontoastcroonch]

carrying on the trend of discussing our shadow knight headcannons as started by @xerith-42 :))

i’m gonna start tweaking here we go. prob will think of more later

- to begin— SKs have a different look to them than most. they tend to have duller hair and skin; paler than their natural tones but in a grey/dead way. this is amplified when in their SK form. additionally, their hair kinda floats while transformed.

- to add on, the actual armor is not really armor. i’ve seen multiple people talk about this— i think it’s like a hardened second skin in a formation similar to armor plating. it flows from them and hardens instantly, almost like blood. when caught of guard, say somebody strikes from behind or something, the armor may activate/materialize in that specific area first, before the response of the entire body’s transformation is triggered.

- the eyes. many people have mentioned this and i even tried to include it in a drawing, but the whites of their eyes turn black in their forms, and their red irises glow. depending on the intensity of power of the shadow knight, the irises will emit a sort of red smoke/aura. additionally, when the form is taken, the scars below the eyes literally rip open. it’s pretty violent and quite painful, although the entire process of taking the form is, so this part goes largely unnoticed by the SK. to bystanders, the blood that spills from them at first gives the illusion of tears of blood.

- back to the armor thing— i also thing the flowing of the armor originates from their death scar and coats the entire body. if that makes sense.

- i think that SKs body temperature is quite the interesting feat. they can typically regulate it, but as the calling onsets it begins harder to tolerate anything cold, as their body begins to prepare itself cruelly for its return to the hellishly hot temperatures of the shadow realm. cruel.

more calling stuff

- the calling is painful. extremely so. it starts as a dull headache. as time passes, the entire body of the shadow knight begins to experience a dull, burning ache. it intensifies and can even become unbearable in the presence of whoever the calling has latched onto. also, if an opportunity arises, such as a knife on a table near them while their back is turned, their hands and head with alight with a unique burning that cannot be cured unless they manage to remove themselves or follow through. each scar will throb as a reminder of their mortality without answering the calling.

- once, when the calling was particularly bad for laurance, this sensation hit him very suddenly. he was with aphmau, discussing important matters, when suddenly his speech was cut short, only a gasping cry managed to creep from his mouth; his eyes simultaneously glowing red. his jaw dropped, and silently, nearly sick with the shock of such pain, he braced one hand on the table and almost fell. he couldn’t speak. he could hardly think, over the ringing in his head and the insistence of the shadow lords mantra in his head to ‘kill her’. his other hand uncontrollably jerked to the hilt of his blade, and he managed one small word to aphmau. “go”. somewhere inside her she knew not to argue, and she exited, despite her fear for his well-being, and promptly informed the nearest (likely vylad) of the current situation. laurance spent the next few hours, alone, huddled on the floor of that study; shaking, sweating, grappling with reality. after that too-close incident, he truly started to distance from the group, becoming entirely terrified of losing himself.

- the SKs also have a sort of hive sense—only activated when something is happening with a portal in the overworld. if one is opened, a panging pain will be felt by the SKs, the intensity of it reflecting the closeness of the portal. usually, this continues as a headache until the portal is shut, or they move far enough from it. this is naturally much worse during the calling, and they will feel an additional pull to the portal.

- adding on, i think it would be interesting if SKs could physically see a certain purple, snaking aura leading to a portal if it is nearby, that no regular, non-SKs can see. this comes in handy if they are searching for the portal, and allows them to direct people precisely if needed.

my take on @adepressedgaydragon ’s doll hc

first off i think this hc is so interesting

- the sort of dissociation that occurs is quite frightening for the SK themselves

- i like to think that this paralyzed state is a way of the shadow lord reasserting his fear into the SKs. as a way of reminding them of his power over them. perhaps when they are paralyzed like a puppet with cut strings, they are living out some brief hallucination in their head.

- sometimes are worse than others, and these spells can sort of be used to determine the current strength of the shadow lord based on frequency and intensity. sometimes the SK will snap out of it and come to as if nothing happened, other times they snap back and suddenly they collapse into a heap of panic because they are so extremely terrified.

- these hallucinations that occur are similar to those that gene inflicted on laurance during his initial transformation. furthermore, it would be interesting if gene (due to his mind control abilities) had some sort of minor power involving these doll-like episodes. his manipulated version would be fightable tho, something others could resist, unlike the organic ones that are largely unavoidable.

- another scenario because i’m fueled by angst: once, during one of these episodes, garroth was keeping an eye on laurance. this was not much long after his transformation, and was one of the first doll-like happening he had. garroth was sitting nearby, having moved laurance to a sitting position near him. all was usual until instead of blinking back to reality, laurance went from being motionless to launching from the chair he was in, stumbling, gasping in bone chilling fear as he tried to wipe the hallucination from his mind. garroth, although unable to understand his struggle, tried his damndest to comfort laurance, practically catching him when he sprung from his chair, holding him steady as he struggled to breathe out of fear. ‘i’ve got you; it wasn’t real’ repeated frantically into his ear.

alright that’s all for now folks, please give your thoughts/ask any questions!! i love discussing these ideas!!

[cogcltrcorn]

things I Know about stewy. not headcanons. facts. I feel them in my bones.

he is the type of guy who's usual dating pool is like, perpetually twenty five. he thinks that dating any younger is gauche, but also he is an asshole

he is a few years from needing reading glasses. he notices himself squinting sometimes. no he can't make peace with the fact yet

his relationship with his own culture is fucking. insane probably. like. ironic self deprecating racism levels of fucked. if he slips up and does anything uncharacteristic for his all-american wallstreet asshole persona in public it's a sign that he is tired or fucked up beyond belief (I think he drags everyone he meets somewhere to eat JUST to order something with pork in front of them). it's fucked is what I'm saying.

he hates the idea of growing old but is also self-aware enough to know it's pathetic and so has a whole fucking Thing about "aging gracefully". however he lets his perpetually twenty five girlfriends educate him on what is up with the youths. this man knows Everything about doja cat

he is a world champion in denial and emotional compartmentalization. like. he is So determined to rationalize or outright Deny any emotion he experiences. he hates feeling vulnerable, he hates feeling attached, he hates relationships being "difficult" (the first fight is the last fight with him most of the time. he cuts people off and dodges their calls and gives the "sorry it's just not the right time" talks and moves on). whatever the fuck he has going on with kendall is unique because stewy is normally fucking ALLERGIC to expressing emotions.

related: made being a bad person one of the pillars of his fucking identity. when he feels like he is in danger of developing an ethical concern he actively squashes it like a bug. "fuck everything else, does this make my life more comfortable?" is a personal motto. and he is rich enough to have an immunity against most things that could affect him negatively. so. he really and truly doesn't give a fuck. more importantly: he doesn't want to.

he wasn't on ken's birthday party because he was very busy getting fucking plastered with his girlies and then getting EMBARRASSINGLY emotional when someone put on alejandro by lady gaga. he then wailed about kendall incoherently and cried hysterically when he came home

the girlies in question have little to no idea of who the fuck stewy is or what he does for a living. they DO know that he is a blast to be around. they also know that he is down Bad for a guy he won't name. the times stewy gets drunk enough to get SAD about it are rare but memorable.